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jewishtwig · 2 years ago

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Shabbat shalom! I'm not sure if you're going to be online between now and Sunday so if I don't see you on the internt until then, have a lovely weekend!

I'm just reaching out anonymously to sort of combined vent-and-ask-for-advice about queer Jewish conversion stuff, since I know you finished your conversion journey recently and might have similar experiences.

Basically, I'm a queer and trans Jew-in-progress with lots of queer friends who live near where I attend synagogue. And we all know that serious Christianity-related religious trauma often comes in a package deal with being queer in a culturally Christian country. You can probably tell where this is going.

My friends are all vocally supportive of my decision to become Jewish, but we have some hang-ups. I came back from Shabbat service the other week and excitedly told them that it was a children's service that morning, and that some of the kids had performed a play for us. One friend asked what play it was, then got uncomfortable really fast when I told them it was Joseph's technicolour dreamcoat.

(Side note: the play was awesome! Children have the wackiest senses of humour and there is nothing funnier than hearing a 10 year old scream "anything but the pit!!" while trying really hard not to laugh.)

Anyway -- the dreamcoat story is one my queer friends are all familiar with in some capacity from their Christian schooling. You and I are aware of the similarities (lol) and differences between Christianity and Judaism, and that we will often see versions of the same texts and tales in both contexts because of appropriation and the like. My friends understand this in theory, but gentiles will be gentiles. They hear alarm bells when I say 'dreamcoat' because it was Christian to them before it was Jewish. The fact that I chose to be excited about the play without also downplaying it by going "dont worry guys it's not the christian version!!" has noticeably damaged their opinion of me.

Things like this keep happening, where my friends will be verbally supportive, but then start acting really really awkward around the topic of religion, including when I casually mention things like no longer being free for gay brunch on Saturday mornings because of Shabbat. They're uncomfortable that I find value in the same Bible verses their Christian grandmas quote (even though I've explained that Tanakh actually tells a different story to their Old Testament and can have a completely different meaning). I swear they all think that by getting involved at synagogue, I am willingly putting myself in close proximity to Christianity, and they are either scared of me for it, or secretly think I am a traitor.

They don't understand that feeling squeamish around 'Bible-thumping religious nuts' is deeply antisemitic. They don't like it when I talk about G-d because they are convinced that the Jewish and Christian G-d are one and the same. And for the record, yes I've explained why the concept of 'Abrahamic' or 'Judeo-Christian' faith is all bullshit, and yes I've explained that they are very much not the same G-d, and the response I got from them amounted to 'well there's different beliefs about G-d but they all come from the same initial concept and refer to the same entity so they're the same'. I just gave up on trying to explain; I'm not Christian so I'm not making it my problem if they're unwilling to divorce their feelings about religion from Christianity. I'm still learning and I will not be their teacher.

The way my queer friends look at me now makes me so sad. It's like they are expecting me to start quoting Bible verses over the dinner table, or make everyone say blessings with me, or burst into a monologue about how G-d is great and everyone should believe in Him. Half the people I've 'come out' to as a convert have responded by saying "that's great I'm so happy for you! But by the way I just can't do religion, it's not for me, no offence or anything but I just don't believe in G-d." as if that's in any way necessary. And these people know me. Why do they suddenly think I've turned into the type of person to proselytise or look down on people for not being religious?? As if there's not literally a prominent Jewish teaching that bans proselytisation and promotes religious freedom among other cultures???

It's driving me nuts. My friends treat me like a stranger now. I've known some of these people for 7+ years and they know I'm a queer-as-fuck dickhead with a personality and a traumatic Catholic upbringing of my own. I've always been really vocal about my opinions and I never shut up about my hobbies. It's not like I'm their mormon grandparents, I literally post ass on twitter. But suddenly they don't know what to say when they see me. I can feel everyone treading on eggshells around me because they are expecting me to suddenly take offense at them being atheist or areligious or for eating pork idk. And on that note I've had vegan friends try to argue with me that kashrut is immoral and that I'm a terrible person for following Jewish dietary laws instead of going vegan. And don't even get me started on what they try to tweeze out of me regarding Israel.

For people who say they hate antisemitism, they sure liked me a lot more when I wasn't studying to become Jewish. I think that if they understood how much this was affecting me, they might realise what they're doing and stop, but explaining myself hasn't made them get it. I know they are not trying to be antisemitic but I feel so alienated and lonely. I was prepared to accept that my friends might not be the right people to talk to about faith, but now they won't talk to me about anything without making it awkward.

I truly do believe my soul is Jewish and that this is a journey I need to take. And if that means I lose friends for being religious then so be it. But it really fucking sucks and I don't know how to deal with it. Other people really think they have the clearest perception of religion because they're not part of one and nothing I do or say can unconvince them that my judgement is clouded by faith. I don't want to lose them. I just don't know how to make them understand what I am feeling, or if I should even bother to try. Is this a common experience, do you think?

Shabbat shalom!

I hear you, and I cannot imagine how frustrating and upsetting this situation must be for you.

I was willing to give your friends the benefit of the doubt at first, but the more I’ve thought about it and the more I’ve reread this message, the more upset I’ve gotten on your behalf.

The fact of the matter seems to me that they’re claiming to be supportive of Jews but when presented with actually future Jewishness they are not being supportive and are actually being pretty terrible.

Additionally, they aren’t being supportive of you as a person. Your choice isn’t going to impact their lives at all besides maybe needed to move a brunch date and yet they’re still alienating you. I don’t fully know the situation, of course, and it’s your choice, but from what you’ve said they don’t sound like people who have your best interests in mind and don’t seem like great friends.

Unfortunately, this isn’t an entirely uncommon situation (especially in queer spaces in my experience but that story is a tad off topic). I know I lost some friends during my conversion and it damaged my relationship with some people as well.

Ultimately I see it this way: for reasons of physical safety and mental health, if someone has an issue with me because of my religion then I don’t want to be around them.

I hope you’re able to find some supportive friends. Maybe try seeing if there’s a queer community group at your synagogue! Or start one!

I truly wish you good luck with this situation. Please let me know if I can help you in any way. Congratulations on starting your conversion journey 💙

#asks #<3 #loss of friendship #conversion issues #antisemitism

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ruralbi · 9 months ago

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You know what's really sad? I'm 31 I'm slowly entering the end of my twink years. But that's not the sad part, as I'm planning to do a graceful transition to a beautiful otter, probably around 40yo. On God I'll get proper hairy one day.

(aparté, as a younger man I used to bemoan the end of my twink years at like 23 but I was sorely mistaken. Now I realize every day as I stand next to regular degular men that I am..... still a fucking twink. Now distinguished by less MDMA and more face lines, but still very obviously different than the just some guys next to me.) (I call this the Wilson life stage) like idk I got older but the older guys I'm into got older as well so in comparison with them I'm still twinkish? Drug addicted club slut is the burgeoning stage of twink life and now I'm blossoming into a beautiful bitch who listens to eurodance at Sunday brunch. Before if I did a huge scene bc whoever I was dating didn't pay me enough attention it was bc I had too much coke, now it's because I'm just a melodramatic brat like that. And that's growth baby. Find out who you are and do it on purpose.)

Anyway the sad part is the abysmal bear prospects in my area.

There's the mason who calls me beautiful and loves to talk about what he would do to me if he were ten years younger, but I've become friends with his wife.

There's the farmer who asked me to go to the sauna with him but he's friends with my parents AND his son is my age. (Tbh I'm kinda convinced I fumbled that one and should've gone for it, but the SAUNA as a FIRST DATE??? I do need substance abuse for that one chief, at least do the bar bathroom so I can have a drink beforehand I beg you) I could've gotten railed in the normal very much not gay sauna with like the third grade history teacher and my coworker's mother wondering what the hell is that noise in the next room, what a miss. I still buy his milk, it's a small comfort to me. He pretends he never invited me to the sauna and jokes about women ay what can you do! with my dad.

(moment of silence for the builder bottom who ended up threatening my housemate (his coworker) and almost hit me when I intervened about it. A Chihuahua can still bite bitch, I hope I never see him again BUT he was hot and a proper bear)

Best prospect currently is a local radio announcer but he's possibly not fat enough idk I need to see him naked, ideally in a jockstrap... to really make up my mind. And unlike all the others he's not propositioned me already, so I'm doing the eyes with force of a thousand suns. My resolution is to invite him to the bar in two weeks and if he says yes I'll see what he does in the bathroom.

And yes the current obsession with older bears is because I'm still holding to my word to not fuck my toxic ex (who was a young bear, unbecoming of myself really).

I haven't been touched in SO long like I seriously need to hold hands while watching telly but I would settle for cocksucking at this stage. local radio host please call me.

I hold hope bc we had several conversations where I batted my eyelashes and he told me that he's old, poor and okay with trans people. I'm like bitch me too! We have so much in common, let me suck your dick about it.

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bisluthq · 3 years ago

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maybe this is a dumb question but nat, are you sure you're not trans? or have like a dysmorphia thing? because you project into men a lot, in like every aspect (i'm sorry if this is like rude or intrusive, feel free to not answer)

Defs not lmao like I’m VERY cis lol. I’ve thought about it SO MUCH. Like first things first: I write as a persona - it reflects on me obviously but like y’all don’t know me tbh and I do explain that frequently. Next like why I know I’m very cis: in terms of who I like being friends with primarily, how I think, how I behave, how I dress, how I style myself etc I’m VERY effeminate and very fucking cis. Like Kinsey 0 gender vibes which are rare in someone as gay as me. I can barely wear pants tbh like I like skirts and dresses and maybe leggings and shorts but like long pants are already too boyish for me and I feel uncomfy. I can do rompers but only if they’re like ~very cute. The only flannel I’ve ever worn are little tartan miniskirts when I was dressing up as Rachel Berry lol. I love presenting as a girl tbh.

The only problem is I’m also… gay…

And it’s fun for me to talk about like yk thirsting for women unapologetically without clouding it in like “well we don’t know if she’s gay well this is just friendship well this is just someone being polite well this will never happen well tbh this is ~wrong well tbh this isn’t sex well tbh let’s talk about boys.”

Like it’s nice to just be like “BOOBS” and shit.

And like OBVIOUSLY I would prefer to be… not deviant… and therefore born as cis but a man - because I can relate to being cis tbh far more than I can understand being like GNC even to the point of most gay women - with this same sexuality. I’d be so great at it lmao like I’d be just fruity enough to be quirky and fun and like I’d be deadass able to say I’m straight and everyone would be like “so true why do freaks doubt that tbh?? You’re just fun!!!” If I was into the EXACT OPPOSITE of stuff I’m into and born a man and like everything I’m not I’d be SO normal.

But I… ya enjoy being a girl as the song goes. Like in every fucking way except the liking boys part.

I love my body tbh (well the femininity) there are issues in terms of insecurity, I love dressing super effeminate - skirts and high heels and like cute undies, wearing makeup, having long hair, listening to girly music, reading girly books, “doing” girly shit like cooking and shopping and going to the spa and taking selfies, I prefer being friends with girls, I cannot deal with anything other than she/her pronouns etc. I LOVE presenting as a girl and honestly can’t imagine like doing otherwise.

I just also… really like to have sex with girls and that’s very fucking confusing to me and that’s why I like this platform because it’s a chance to express myself in a different way lmao and talk about stuff I don’t like HIDE irl because I’m out but wouldn’t like bring up over brunch with my gals. That’s the power of the internet tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s being able to write about boobies and pussy and shit and then put on a pretty dress and go to brunch.

I contain multitudes lol 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ and I do write very honestly but it is also a persona because I can’t like share every aspect of me with this many people every day. It’s just not healthy.

But ya there you go. Like Kinsey -1 gender vibes lmao like girliest girl alive and like Kinsey… idk fucking 5 sexuality but unlike the gender stuff that confuses me because comphet and sluttiness and also just how DEEPLY cis I am making it feel weird to be like… this gay.

#nat talks nat

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gideonthefirst · 5 years ago

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Thank you @oddsynchronicity for enabling me to make this post lmao. Here it is: my thoughts on NADDPOD Episode 80: Your Own Personal Hell

First of all, broadly speaking, all of the flashback sequences were perfectly chosen. There are a lot of things they could each have been, but @frogndtoad and I were just talking about it and, to quote her, they got “right to the emotional heart of the show.” By which I mean, each flashback sequence forced us to reexamine how we looked at the characters, while also staying fundamentally true to how they’ve been fleshed out and developed over the past eighty episodes. And they were perfectly designed to hit the emotional beats that each player is best at playing to. tl;dr Murph is a very very good DM and storyteller and also I want him to write a book

Second of all, still just in general, the choice to split them up was very bold and also an incredible flex on Murph’s part. One of the greatest strengths of the show is the party dynamic and how much they all care for each other - to split them up for half of an episode, and likely most of next episode as well, is…well, it’s a choice, and imo it worked because it hit HARD. The only other times they’ve been split up for any extended period of time, Hardwon almost died on an airship + Bev and Moonshine ran out of spells and were down to 1 hp, Gemma died, and Beverly got offered a deal by Akarot. Like, unless I’m missing some because it’s late and I’m sick, those are the three. So by separating them it triggers an immediate fear that is much different from the usual fear at seeing an enemy, and you can hear it in the immediate tone shift. They went from harassing Ilsed in the group chat to being completely focused on their scenes and each other’s scenes and it was a different feeling than we’ve gotten since…I don’t know, Queen Ezra? Marabelle? I don’t know if it even happened then.

Okay, individual stuff! Hardwon! Murph talked about it in the Short Rest a bit, but the choice to give Hardwon something to justify his caring so deeply about the dwarves and Irondeep? Inspired. Perfect. Devastating. He’s been in the bodies of two different races, but deep down, he still sees himself as a dwarf and always has, and King MacGannis was the first one to ever acknowledge him as such. It’s such a trans narrative, first of all, but it also is uhhh sure something when taken in conjunction with Moonshine’s flashback. But anyway, Hardwon went from being someone who was always excluded but still cared about the dwarves and Irondeep for some reason to being someone who was still always excluded but had something deep inside to hold onto and someone to look up to. And then he GOT the Kingshammer and now that whole scene is so much more specific and important and. Hardwon never had a home but now we know he always had the aspiration/idea of a home and that fundamentally changes his character. “Looks like a dwarf to me” are you KIDDING me?

Miscellaneous Hardwon thoughts: Playing Kingshammer under that scene was a direct attack. And Hardwon saying “yes, sir” to MacGannis in exactly the same way that Bev said “yes, sir” to his dad in the first Galaderon episodes is something that definitely wasn’t intentional but I am going to cry about.

Moonshine! Man, how do I even…how do I even start. Moonshine is the genuine love of my life she’s so deeply, genuinely good. Bringing Marabelle in was an incredibly low blow, and also possibly a hate crime? Investigations are ongoing. However. Moonshine immediately deciding to welcome the spores into her own network and then her fungal form morphing into something closer to Marabelle’s…Marabelle was known as She Who Has No Hospitality. Moonshine welcomed in her spores without once doubting their intentions in possibly the greatest gesture of hospitality ever known. Even in death, even as barely an imitation of Marabelle, those spores are going to get to be part of a family and a network and have what Marabelle ended up losing because of Ilsed because Ilsed put them in Moonshine’s way.

The scene with Jolene and Paw Paw is adorable, but also I’m having approximately nineteen different emotions about it. First of all, the line “things that don’t belong find a way of belonging when you’re around” was such a perfect summary of Moonshine, and also hit especially hard directly after Hardwon’s scene; Hardwon has never belonged anywhere (even where he so desperately wanted to) until he found Moonshine and the same, honestly, is kind of true with Bev (more on that later). Second of all, this scene fully switched the framing of the Moonshine/Marabelle/Jolene dichotomy (trichotomy?). Up until this point, it’s essentially been framed as Marabelle is who Moonshine could become, but Jolene is who she is. But the ways Moonshine and Jolene deal with Paw Paw are reflective of a much deeper difference - Jolene, even though she is the Crick, is lawful, and does kind of want to control people and the things around her, whereas Moonshine just…is not. And then, with Moonshine literally now having part of Marabelle as part of her, Moonshine isn’t either Jolene or Marabelle; she’s both, and more Marabelle than Jolene. She’s Marabelle if she hadn’t been corrupted, and if her loved ones had stood by her, like Bev and Hardwon always have.

Miscellaneous Moonshine thoughts: Playing Sumpin’s A Mess Out West at the beginning of this was a Choice but at least it wasn’t Mee Maw’s Burden. Also I always pictured Moonshine as having gotten Paw Paw when she was very young, and it’s adorable that she was already a full adult when she adopted him. Love that, it’s so much more perfectly Moonshine than what I had thought

Beverly. Do y’all ever…cry. This was the culmination of his arc. I mean, I’m sure it’ll go other places, and I trust Caldwell and Murph to keep him interesting and growing, and he has growth to do, but…his entire story has been building to this. “A child has a duty to his father, but a hero has a duty to the world” is the final sign that Bev isn’t a kid anymore, and hasn’t been able to be for a long time. But also, for the first time, he gets to make a choice about it: does he want to be a kid, or does he want to be a hero? And he chooses hero. He chooses hero even though he’s sixteen and may have to kill his own father, because that same father has been teaching him that he has a duty since before he was even old enough to start high school.

The flashback scene also very much emphasized how deeply alone he’s kind of always been - which is something we’ve literally never seen before. We’ve gotten very brief jokes about him being bullied in school, but that’s never been explored, and we also know for a fact that he was an excellent Green Teen and also the son of the captain of the Green Knights. But this was…he’s the only Green Teen there. Erlin, Derlin, Cran, they don’t see the execution - the execution brunch is likely their first, and Erlin isn’t even there (we do know Erlin’s parents are dead at this point, but that is a very different thing than watching your father execute someone in front of you without showing any emotion, and not being allowed to look away). All he has is Egwene, who is also completely alone, and it’s not like they’re really friends after this. They share one moment, and that’s all there is, and then it’s back to Bev being alone and doing everything he can to make his father proud of him. And then, when he finally succeeds in making his dad proud, his dad gets ripped away to another dimension, ages 20 years, and signs a deal with the devil. So once again we come back to “things that don’t belong find a way of belonging when you’re around”, and Bev only really belonging somewhere once he finds the Boobs.

Finally, like…Bev’s introduction was “according to his mother, a very good boy”. He’s a Green Teen because that’s what his father was, and his father before him, and his father before that, and he’s the fifth of his name and the best of the Green Teens and all he wants to do is impress his mom and dad and be good enough, and here he’s given a chance to be with his dad again and do what he says - which is all he’s ever known how to do - and he has to make the choice not to. And the only reason he’s able to make that choice is, once again, Moonshine. Reaching out to his friends, to the family he chose, to the family who lets him be a kid and loves him unconditionally, to the family who says “I’ll love you whatever you choose” but trusts in him to make the right choice.

Miscellaneous Bev thoughts: Pulling in the main theme at the end there was the best editing choice Murph has ever made. I started crying fully in public and also got chills and also my jaw dropped. “I look at him like I did that day: with a mixture of hate and love.” The level to which Caldwell has perfectly captured the gay teen experience and translated it over to a high fantasy d&d podcast and the metaphor of his dad selling his soul to the devil sure is a lot to handle. Also, uhh, I don’t want Bev to die, like, ever, but if he does next episode, what an incredibly beautiful story.

Miscellaneous final thoughts: This show is about found family. Even when forcibly separated to different levels of Hell, they save each other and come back to each other. I can’t fucking handle it. Music choice in general this episode? Fantastic, good job Emily and Murph. And then, I can’t wait to see how they handle them being separated for what’s probably an entire episode - a week is WAY to long to wait

#naddpod #not another d&d podcast #oddsynchronicty #long post #my writing #lmk if the read more doesn't work #and also if the formatting is broken

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glenngaylord · 4 years ago

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OUTFEST 2020 FILM REVIEW: BOYS SHORTS 3 1/2 Stars (Average Score)

For many years, most LGBTQ+ festivals reserved their best short films for the Boys and Girls Shorts programs. Usually deemed the sexiest, funniest, or most cinematic of the bunch, they typically play to sold out audiences. Fortunately, shorts submissions have diversified and have showcased such incredible talent that festivals like Outfest offer a whole host of solid programs to enjoy.

Still, there’s nothing like packing into the Directors Guild of America’s main theatre on a Saturday morning to collectively enjoy some carefully vetted films. Unfortunately, this year, it’s just me and my admittedly cute-as-hell doggy sitting in my living room. No gaggles of gays to ogle. No over-the-top hugs, air kisses, or overhearing the constant refrain of, “What are you working on?” My sliding A/C unit makes a valiant but futile effort to cool us down as this endless Los Angeles heatwave threatens to kill our buzz. Outfest may feel a little less communal this year, but the quality of the filmmaking remains high. I also applaud the programmers and filmmakers for helping to redefine and expand what has made this particular program so meaningful and enjoyable time and time again. Here are my quick tales on the Boys Shorts program:

QUERY (Dir: Sophie Kargman - USA- 7 mins) 3 Stars

Two straight identifying lifelong best friends, Jay and Alex, played by Justice Smith and Graham Graham Patrick Martin respectively, spend a day challenging heteronormative concepts until Jay makes the suggestion that they kiss. What starts out as a bromantic, mumblecore trifle turns fascinating in its final moments, helped tremendously by some beautifully wordless acting by our two leads. I can’t say I loved the tired idea that one of the guys justifies the kissing by saying he’s wasted, but it’s handled in a fairly dignified way missing from so many gross-out comedies from the past. Shot and framed with a nice sense of classical style, the film, a mere 7 minutes, doesn’t outstay its welcome and leaves you with a provocative final line. Extra points for Armie Hammer’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it jog-on role.

S.A.M (Dir: Eyre and Ely - United Kingdom - 16 mins) 4 Stars

Two outcast Manchester teens (Sam Retford and George Webster) meet on a swing set and discover they’re both named Sam. One appears to have a learning disability and the other smokes and seems to have an angry, rebellious streak. Over the course of several weeks at the playground , their friendship deepens, slyly revealing their attraction to each other. Both actors do a wonderful job dispelling common misconceptions of their challenges as they drink, swear brazenly at others, and develop a real bond. Its handling of sexuality couldn’t be more lovely and instructive. You wish more people would react to coming out the way we’re shown here. Although shot entirely at the swing set, this film covers a lot of ground as we witness the beginnings of a ride-or-die friendship. I hope the directing team of Eyre and Ely develop this into a feature. I could watch Sam and Sam all day.

KIND OF (Dir: Noel Schamus - USA - 9 mins) 3 Stars

With friends imminently arriving for brunch, a trans masculine couple hash out their differences over their recently established open relationship. Garcia (Tales Of The City) arrives home after a night out with a cis man to find Avi Roque preparing the meal. Noel Schamus and co-writer Arno Mokros mine the tension between the two expertly, allowing us to see the genial but uncomfortable hugs and the passive-aggressive dialogue. Things take an astonishing turn when they get brutally honest with each other, revealing a frank discussion many people have not had the opportunity to hear before. The filmmaking itself may feel functional at best, but its honesty manages to stun.

SEE YOU SOON (Dir: Tyler Rabinowitz - USA - 16 mins) 4 1/2 Stars

This gorgeously directed and acted film by Tyler Rabinowitz has a simple premise, aligned most closely with Boys Shorts of years past. Vincent (James Cusati-Moyer) and Anthony (Jonny Beauchamp) live in Los Angeles and Manhattan respectively, yet have met online, FaceTiming in anticipation of Vincent’s upcoming weekend trip east. Both actors have that glow and eagerness between them which gets awkwardly dispelled when they first meet in person. Still, they slowly gravitate towards each other as they traverse the city. Anyone who has ever been in a long distance relationship will recognize the hesitation, the fumbling, and the painful moment when they realize they’re rushing into things. With beautiful cinematography by Oren Soffer and a gentle, believable chemistry between the two leads, I felt immersed in their struggle to figure out their path. We may have seen this before with the seminal feature, Weekend, but it doesn’t take away from how well done it is here. Also, Cusati-Moyer is a star in the making with his expressive face and ability to break your heart.

LAST SUMMER WITH UNCLE IRA (Dir: Gary Jaffe, Katie Ennis - USA - 13 mins) 3 Stars

As Daniel (Igby Rigney, a potentially closeted teen, packs his bags for summer camp, his beloved gay uncle Ira (Wayne Wilcox), faces his pending death from AIDS complications. Daniel’s mother (Tony winner Stephanie J. Block) relieves her son of his duties so that he can go outside and have what will likely be one final chat with Ira. Set in the early 90s, the bulk of the short comprises of their conversation, with Ira trying to gently coax Daniel to come out, but the young man resists. While heartfelt and well-performed by all three, the production suffers from a somewhat maudlin tone and style. It harkens back to such films as An Early Frost, yet adds something fresh with the dynamic between the two leads. Although I can’t say I was wowed by it, the final moments did make me cry with its lovely expression of intimacy. Any film which can awaken my cold dead heart is worth something!

WHO CAN PREDICT WHAT WILL MOVE YOU? (Dir: Livia Huang - USA - 9 mins) 2 1/2 Stars

On the surface, this very aptly titled short appears to be about nothing as we watch two young Asian American gay men share a final night together on a basketball court and then in an apartment. With limited dialogue and scenes consisting of dribbling a ball, hugging, and staring into each others’ eyes as their hands intertwine, the film leans more toward the experimental side of things. Despite a nearly non-existent story, what Huang and her actors excel at is creating and sustaining a mood, a feeling. It’s simple and yet somehow conveys a sense of intimacy. I won’t remember having seen it tomorrow, but it sure did make me want to lie on the floor with someone.

THE CYPHER (Dir: Leia Solomon - USA - 15 mins) 4 1/2 Stars

Khalil (Nigel Cox), a closeted young Philadelphia man, may just win an upcoming rap battle, but when word gets out he has a boyfriend (Juan Gil), his plans may go up in smoke. Think 8 Mile meets Moonlight in this colorful, vibrant, story of a guy who learns what summoning courage and using it to hone his creative talents really means. With nonstop energy and a wonderful supporting turn by Kerrice Brooks as his sister Kiki, who unintentionally outs him, The Cypher hits all the right notes. Although still laden with homophobia, out artists such as Lil Nas X and Frank Ocean have made inroads in hip hop and rap culture. In this spirit, this sexy, thrilling short brings power, strength and fearlessness to queer black voices staking their claim to a previously forbidding genre. Nigel Cox, a relative newcomer, deserves attention for his loud and proud performance.

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avery-oliver · 5 years ago

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"We have to be visible. We should not be ashamed of who we are. We have to show the world that we're numerous. There are many of us out there.”- Sylvia Rivera

Side A:

I Know A Place - MUNA // All the Time - Zara Larsson // Meet the Parents - Kim Petras // I’m Coming Out - Diana Ross // Be My Love - La Bouche // Please Don’t Go - Double You // Marry The Night - Lady Gaga // All For You - Janet Jackson // Square Biz - Teena Marie // The Edge of Glory - Lady Gaga // Can’t Get You Out of My Head - Kylie Minogue // I Love It - Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX // Dancing On My Own - Robyn // Primadonna - MARINA // Work Bitch - Britney Spears // I Didn’t Just Come Here to Dance - Carly Rae Jepsen // You and I - Lady Gaga

Side B:

Money - Leikeli47 // Bling Bling - Junglepussy // Wish You Would - Mykki Blanco ft. Princess Nokia // I Got It - Charli XCX ft. Brooke Candy, Cupcakke & Pablo Vittar // Werkin’ Girls - Angel Haze // Wut - Le1f // Muthaleficent - Babymutha ft. Swerzie // Tommy - Tommy Genesis // Crayons - Cupcakke // Give Her Some Money - Malibu Mitch // Everything Nice - DreamDoll // LMK (Remix) - Kelela ft. Princess Nokia, Jungepussy, Cupcakke, Ms. Boogie

listen here

“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” – Audre Lorde

In the early morning hours, I sit out on my porch and I can almost feel the cool gust of air hit me the moment I’d step outside of the club into the 4am New York City quiet. I can see the line of wristbands up my arm after starting at Cubbyhole then Henriettas, ultimately ending up in Brooklyn with a group of people that seemed far cooler than I would ever be. I can still feel the release of freedom I felt my first weekend at NYU, the first time I found a solid group of queer friends, the first time I felt comfortable walking down the street with my rainbow t-shirt or the booty shorts my friend Devon would make me wear. I became another person there. A more aware person, a politically active person, a person who realized that my identity wasn’t just about knowing who I liked but about knowing the history that allowed me to be in those spaces. I had spent so much time at home hiding and hating myself that to be in a place where I felt celebrated, where I learned about the trans women of color who did more than throw bricks, they pushed past boundaries and fears to boldly be who they always were. It was the first real time I realized my privilege, the first time I learned terms that they would never teach in a classroom, the first time I learned that even my own view of queerness was so centered around the experience I had back home.

My first Pride in New York City, I started day drinking with a few NYU friends and as the day went on we made more and more friends, until I found myself in the middle of a club in Brooklyn having a gay Dominican guy from Washington Heights teach me how to shake my ass. Or at least as much of an ass as I actually have. I’ve always been a terrible dancer but they helped me find some kind of rhythm and even when I was terrible they hyped me up and when I was good it was twice as big. The culture, the music, the people, the feeling. It’s unmatched. The beauty of seeing people so securely in who they are, love, lust and enjoyment all around me. I had never been a party person, until I realized that it had partly been because I never felt comfortable as myself, I never felt free enough, I never felt like I could be exactly who I wanted. I’ve spent so much of my life being reserved, doing right by everyone that a moment of bliss on a dance floor made me feel like I was floating, made me feel less alone, made me feel like I was part of something more than just myself.

I can still remember the sight of the Brooklyn bridge passing by as I hopped in a cab at 4am back to my apartment. The buzz of the alcohol making my heart swirl with a warmth that made me so appreciative. New York had felt like a punishment at first but this act of embracing who I was felt like a little rebellion, felt like a fuck you to my parents who thought that it would tame me, thought that it would make me less of what I was. Instead I turned it into drunken singing on the A train platform and late Sunday brunches. I turned it into half smoked joints in the narrow streets of the west village and late night conversations with my future fiancee as we sat in the back of a dark bar with strong drinks and whispered our new dreams to each other. I turned it into running down Christopher street with my drag queen friends on the way to their gigs, learning the hard way that we would never, ever, be on time. I turned it into late night pizza at Joe’s while walking towards Chelsea Piers just to get that closeness to the water, just to realize how good it felt to be so far away.

New York City has a way of making you feel like someone and yet like no one at all. There’s something sweet about walking around the city and knowing that no one there could give a shit. In New York City, I was no one.

And it was the sweetest freedom I’ve ever known.

“It is untrue that bravery can be measured by a lack of fear. It takes guts to tremble. It takes tremble to love.” - Andrea Gibson

#about avery #playlist #needed something to get me in a better mood and been meaning to write this one for a while #i miss nyc and my fckn queers man fck this pandemic lol

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queercapwriting · 6 years ago

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So I'm closeted and I've known for little time and now I'm always anxious around my friends because what if I do something predatorial towards them ? I know lesbians and gays aren't predatorial but what if I do something like that ? Could you write something with Kara being scared to do something like that with Lena (and maybe they sort things out and get together) I hope you are feeling better that lately and that you know a lot of people love you and you are great and fantastic

She knows it’s ridiculous.

The predatory lesbian stereotype.

But it’s all over lesbian media - even media she knows and loves - and she knows it’s bullshit and another ridiculous human convention that she can’t bring herself to understand or accept.

But she spent her adolescence on this planet, and she’s internalized a lot.

She knows that, as a bisexual woman, she’s got that stereotype and then a few more.

She knows that dating is a minefield even without all those horrendous stereotypes.

And she knows that she would rather navigate an actual honest-to-Rao minefield - complete with actual kaboom mines - than figure out how to date in the midst of... all this.

Because her big sister’s a lesbian - wow, so gay - and her best friend from way back when she started at CatCo is bi, and he’s trans, for crying out loud, and so is Nia, and she knows that in the group of friends, of family, that they’ve all cultivated together, no one would think twice about any of these ridiculous stereotypes.

But she can’t help what she’s internalized.

Especially as she stumbles her way through asking Lena Luthor out on a date.

Because she’s tried subtlety, and Lena apparently still thinks their brunches are something that girl-space-friends do. Not, distinctly, space girlfriends, but girls-who-are-friends.

And she’s tried complimenting her, and looking at her longingly, and she’s even pulled out a lip bite or two.

And Lena still... nothing.

Well.

Sometimes it feels like Lena is flirting back. Sometimes it feels like Lena’s gaze lingers too long and like her eyes flicker down to Kara’s lips more than gal pals would, and sometimes she can hear Lena’s heart racing much faster than it should be, just sitting next to each other, just with Kara’s arm brushing against hers, their knees knocking into each other’s at Game Night.

But still.

Neither of them say anything about it, so she can’t be sure.

She can’t be sure, so she needs to take more drastic steps.

But if she does, will Lena feel like she’s taking advantage? If she doesn’t, in fact, like Kara the way Kara likes her, want Kara the way Kara wants her, fantasize about Kara the way Kara...

Okay.

Calm down, Danvers.

Think it through.

She does what she often does, when she can’t figure out what to do.

She calls her sister’s wife.

“Little Danvers!” Maggie greets, and Kara is already teetering on the brink of her sanity, so she just... rambles.

Something she’s gotten from Alex, for sure.

“I want to ask Lena out, but I’ve tried to ask her out before and apparently she keeps thinking we’re just friends, and I love being her friend, Maggie, I do, I really do, she’s my best friend other than Alex, you know that, and I don’t want to wreck that or take advantage of that, but I’ve tried so hard and she keeps not getting it so I want to be more straightforward and no, that wasn’t a pun, I’m serious here Maggie, but what if she thinks I’ve just been biding my time and have only been being her friend so I can be manipulative and get her into bed with me or -”

“Whoa, Kara, hey, slow down, hey. Breathe, yeah? Breathing is good, even for Kryptonian badasses, okay? There you go. Listen. She’s not gonna trip over something and land up in your bed. More specifically, you’re not gonna trip her and put her into your bed. No one makes Lena Luthor do anything, and no offense, Supergirl, but you couldn’t manipulate anyone if you tried. You’ve got a hard edge, that’s for damn sure, but manipulating involves a level of smoothness that the Danvers women have yet to evolve.”

“I can hear you, Mags!” Kara hears Alex in the background, and she smiles.

“Put her on speaker if she wants,” she sighs, knowing this conversation is about to both get funnier and more serious.

“Hey Kara.” Alex’s voice is closer to the phone now. “First of all, congratulations on finally admitting that you want to fuck Lena Luthor senseless. Collectively, I think our friends owe me like three thousand bucks.”

“Not true, Danvers, we all knew this would happen.”

“Yeah, but I called the timing and the circumstances.”

“Um, guys. Still here and baring my soul asking for advice?”

“Right.” Kara smiles, feeling held by her big sisters even through the phone. “Kara, Maggie was right. You’re not taking advantage of anything. If anything, it’s the opposite: you’ve been so nervous about freaking her out and wrecking your friendship or whatever that you’ve been treading so lightly Lena hasn’t even noticed. Or she has, but, like you, she’s a massive bi disaster and has convinced herself she’s making it up.”

“Just use the word ‘date’, Kara. And not like, ‘brunch date’ in the same way we say ‘movie night.’ Context counts, kiddo. Okay? You can do this. And you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re in love with your best friend - classic, by the way - and you’re asking her to be brave with you and transform it into something else. That’s beautiful. I might cry.”

“She really might. I’d better go take care of her. With kisses and -”

“Ew, Alex, you’re still my sister, I don’t have to hear the rest.”

“Seriously, Kara. I love you.”

“We love you!”

“We do. And you’re amazing. You can do this, and you’re not doing anything wrong. Okay?”

Kara nods before realizing Alex and Maggie can’t see her. “Yeah. Thank you guys. I love you too. Okay. Bye.”

Lena is next on her call list.

But before she can take the requisite forty-two deep breaths and call her, there’s a knock on her door.

X-ray vision.

It’s Lena.

She almost flies out the window.

Instead, she humans her way over to the door and puts on her best smile.

“I want to date you, Kara Danvers. I love the friendship we’ve built and I’m terrified by the prospect of messing that up, but I’ve thought a lot about it and I honestly think that we could only make our friendship stronger, because I can’t be alone in feeling this way, can I? Because you and I, we -”

The rest of Lena’s words evaporate on Kara’s lips, on Kara’s tongue slipping gently but confidently into her mouth, on Kara’s breath in her ear, whispering how beautiful she is and how long she’s wanted this and come in and shut the door before they wind up naked in the hallway.

As it is, they barely make it past the kitchen table, but the couch will have to do for now.

#supercorp #supercorp first kiss #kara is such a bi disaster #supercorp fic #supercorp fluff

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sneakerdoodle · 5 years ago

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in honour of the third @glimadora-week being an au one and today being a free day here comes my superhero au that i came up with like half a year ago. the gist of it is

“a local not-well-known young superhero (Glimmer) gets a huge crush on other superhuman girl’s alias (She-Ra) and dreams of teaming up with her and kicking ass together, until she accidentally meets the girl in question (Adora). she is flustered and embarrassed and stops her fangirling, only to realize she’s actually falling for her now friend and teammate, this time for real”

a more detailed summary follows

Glimmer is a second-gen superhuman (teleportation powers obviously); her mom’s a first-gen with an impervious immune system who worked closely with a group of scientists to figure out the nature of her and other superhumans’ powers, which is how she met Micah (a scientist)

Glimmer juggles being a vigilante behind her mom’s back and attending college (tho skipping classes quite a lot). she exhausts and stresses herself out but refuses to quit because she wants to actually use her powers and make a difference. her and Bow are a hero duo (Bow is a regular human but is smart as fuck and one heck of an archer) and have matching costumes. they mostly watch over the protesters on rallies making sure cops or provocators don’t bother them. very occasionally there are actual criminals they get to stop, but usually nothing serious, just stolen bags and stuff. Glimmer is antsy and wants to do something big

one day a new superhero catches everyone’s attention. she’s strikingly different from everyone else: she doesn’t hide her face, she doesn’t talk to press, she vanishes from the scene as suddenly as she appears, and people only know her supposed name from the letters engraved into the massive blade she carries: SHE-RA

Glimmer gets a very obvious huge crush on her, which Bow won’t stop teasing her about. but it’s not only that ’girl pretty’ (altho, yes, that too): Glimmer is also absolutely enamoured by She-Ra’s seeming courage and confidence. while she has to hide her powers from everyone, wear contact lenses to mask her eye color and unnatural glitter, avoid other college students because she can’t trust herself to not accidentally blurt her secret out over lunch, while she feels like the whole world (and most often her own mother) is telling her to be ashamed of herself, She-Ra’s walking the streets without a mask on. Glimmer won’t stop dreaming about finding her and teaming up with her - until she bumps into a homeless blonde girl in some shady bystreet and the oh so familiar sword falls out of the girl’s backpack

Adora is a subject of an organization that experiments on kidnapped orphaned kids, trying to artificiality enhance their DNA and raising them to fight superhumans who are deemed dangerous. the organization considers itself kind of like a counter-force to the growing population of people with mutated genes and wants them under governmental control

being one of the most resilient and strong trainees, Adora is chosen for the project “SHE-RA”, gets injected with the DNA of a deceased superhero which gets triggered through the exposure to radioactive materials in She-Ra’s sword (specifically the stone). during the procedure things get out of hand, Adora is overwhelmed and loses control over her body, goes full berserk She-Ra mode, crashes the lab in a frenzy and escapes with the sword; she finds her way to the nearest city and, suffering a temporary memory loss, wanders its streets scared, confused and alone, only vaguely remembering that the sword is important and clinging onto it

she finds herself near sites of accidents more frequently than she would like to, and in these moments feels the sword responding to her emotion and desire to help. she doesn’t like the feeling of it almost forcing itself into her hands and is pretty scared of her powers - but can’t seem to let go of the blade. until it’s forcibly taken away from her by a total stranger (who apparently can teleport?), and the stranger is very angry and demands to know who Adora is and how she got her hands on a superhero’s property

Adora’s pretty angry too - both at the accusations of her stealing the damn thing and at the yelling girl herself. and wary of her, ready to take her down. she still can’t recall how she got where she is now but she does remember her childhood, her training and the things she was told: superhumans are unstable and dangerous

they both immediately dislike each other out of various prejudices and are this close to throwing hands while Bow is desperately trying to mediate the conversation. after somewhat diffusing it he asks Adora about her situation and offers her help. she, altho reluctantly, accepts it: she doesn’t have any better options, and these two seem... nice? Glimmer too starts feeling quite empathetic towards her very soon, finally noticing that Adora’s tired and clearly hungry, completely anihilating Glimmer and Bow’s lunch subs in under a minute. however she is still not entirely sure she trusts her, especially since Adora herself can’t really explain how she got She-Ra’s sword - that is until Glimmer get to see the transformation with her own two eyes, and is. quite overwhelmed. she’s only seen She-Ra on tv before, and now she is right here in her full radiant glory and that is a bit too much to handle

the squad of three starts their investigation trying to figure out what happened to Adora, at first unaware that the Horde is on their tail looking for their project

actually meeting Adora and getting to know her better makes Glimmer stop unconsciously idealizing She-Ra; she finally gets over her fangirly crush. eventually tho Glimmer catches herself developing actual deep feelings. the thought of Bow’s a) intensified teasing, b) happy excited meddling is terrifying

Adora is going through a lot. she doesn’t want to fail people who helped her, and Glimmer, not fully understanding the complicated feelings Adora has about her powers, comes off as a bit pressuring when she talks about the asses the three of them are going to kick together, now that She-Ra is on their side. they go through some communication issues, but eventually through her actions Glimmer manages to get it across that she genuinely cares about Adora’s well-being, making it easier for her to open up, so they can finally work it out. Adora in her turn learns about Glimmer’s complicated feelings about her powers and capabilities, how she desperately wants to be herself unapologetically and prove that she is worth something and use whatever power she has to make the world a better place. over time they both get to really know each other and learn how to help and support each other, growing closer and closer and developing warmer and warmer feelings. it’s a nice and cozy slowburn

Some other not glimadora-centric stuff:

Bow started his hero training before realizing he was trans, and ‘Bow’ was his first alias, kind of like a working title; being addressed by it instead of his deadname made him very happy, so he just adopted it as his actual name once he came out

‘Glimmer’ is also Glimmer’s actual name; Angela’s just Like That

the two have a freaking. Patreon page with 10 whole patrons. all of whom are gay college students who joined after Glimmer and Bow showed up at the local pride in their hero costumes carrying a huge banner with their team’s logo against the bi flag. ‘local teenage leftist heroes’ is kind of their whole thing

Bow lies to his dads about working towards his bachelor degree in history, while in reality he spends his days working on tech hoping to get a scholarship from Entrapta, a state-famous superhero and a brilliant inventor, quite wealthy and so influential she doesn’t need to hide her identity. she sponsors autistic kids and kids of colour who want to get into expensive STEM programs and holds regular engineering contests looking for candidates. Bow’s a huge fan

George was a part of the scientists’ group Angela worked with; after a horrible accident that costed them lives of superhumans and scientists alike (including Micah) he quit and cut off everyone he knew from it; the only exception is Spinerella and Netossa, because wlw/mlm solidarity. he and Lance needed another gay couple of their age to have brunch with

Spinerella and Netossa (that have. other names. normal ones) also helped Angela raise Glimmer and were her cool gay aunts. they had to move cities when Glimmer was 5 or 6 tho which Angela was quite happy about: it was painful and unnerving being around people from her old team, and she didn’t want her daughter following them on their path since the couple continued being superheroes. it was too late for that tho because her aunts were Glimmer’s biggest inspiration both through coming out and starting her vigilante business

Angela herself quit being a hero after losing Micah and currently works as a doctor, and is brilliant at her job. she often volunteers to work in quarantined areas, putting her immunity to a good use. it is possible that she doesn’t age and is immortal, they never got around to defining the exact limit of her powers

Angela, Micah, Casta, Spinerella, Netossa and George all knew Mara and worked with her. she died before the team fell apart, her sword and body were preserved by her friends. Weaver was a part of the research group as well and left when things started going south. she took (i.e. stole) some samples, including Mara’s sword and DNA, which she then used to bargain for a higher position in the Horde. project “SHE-RA” was her initiative

needless to say, everyone who knew Mara was deeply shocked by the new She-Ra suddenly appearing on the news. which makes Glimmer double as unwilling to let her mom in on what’s been going on in her life: Angela clearly doesn’t want to hear a single word about the new super in town

#glimadora week #spop #she-ra and the princesses of power #glimadora #glimmer #adora #was going to make it into a fic but never got around to that

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liftwellnes · 2 years ago

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June is Pride Month!

Every year the beginning of June turns our black and white world into brilliant shades and hues of the rainbow. Why? June is the beginning of Pride month, celebrating the LGBTQIA+ community. Members of the community as well as ally’s celebrate love being love with parades, pride symbols and clothing, drag brunches, and other celebrations for visibility. It is as much of a celebration as it is continuing advocacy for equal human rights and the pursuit of happiness.

Many may be unfamiliar with the history of pride. Here’s a brief timeline to familiarize you with pride’s origins.

June 28th, 1969 was the day of the Stonewall riots; the very event that sparked the pride movement. In Greenwich village, the police raided Stonewall Inn, a haven for the LGBTQIA+ community. On this hot summer night, the community and ally’s fought back, and in the nights following, people continued to protest on the streets. The following year, there was a march in Central Park. Those first formative years laid the foundation to what Pride is today: both celebration and activism.

Here’s a helpful timeline of notable LGBTQIA+ History from the Stonewall Riots through to today:

1969- The Stonewall Riots 1970 – The First Pride March 1973- APA classified homosexuality as a mental disorder 1978 – The rainbow flag makes first appearance at a pride event 1979 – National march on Washington for Gay and Lesbian rights 1979 - Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) was founded 1981 – AIDS epidemic begins 1987 – APA removed homosexuality as a mental disorder 1988 – World AIDS day on December 1st 1993 – Bill Clinton signed “Don’t ask, don’t tell” into law. 1996 – Defense of marriage act (DOMA) was signed into law by Clinton 1998- Matthew Shepheard was murdered during a hate crime. 2008 – Proposition 8 was passed in California defining marriage between a man and a woman. 2009 - Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act signed by Obama. 2010 – Repeal of “Don’t ask, don’t tell” 2013 – Repeal of DOMA 2015 – Marriage equality 2021 – Texas signs banning trans youth from competing in sports into law. 2022 – Don’t say gay bill in Florida.

As the timeline shows, there have been peaks and valleys for the LGBTQIA+ community, and the continued need for pride both as a celebration and for advocacy. There are no right or wrong ways to celebrate pride or to be an ally.

Here are a few suggestions for how to celebrate pride in 2022:

Attend a Pride festival! Fairfield county’s pride festival will be June 11th 12pm-9pm at Matthew’s Park in Norwalk. This is a great time to meet others in the community, to come as you are, and to have a day of celebration.

Join a support group for mental health. We will be offering several group options during pride month such as: The alphabet group for high school students, The alphabet group for adults, and a parent workshop to support LGBTQIA+ family members. If you prefer one on one support, schedule an appointment with one of our LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist.

Consume new LGBTQIA+ media. During pride month, there are always new books, podcasts, blog posts, tv shows, and movies being released. Grab your favorite coffee beverage and curl up on the couch to enjoy new representation.

Support local businesses. There are LGBTQIA+ businesses in the community that would love your support. You can usually look up what businesses are in the area, or most will have a pride symbol in their store.

Attend an LGBTQIA+ specific work out class. I frequent Solidcore, and they are having LGBTQIA+ classes that benefit the Marsha P. Johnson Institute, a non profit organization for black transgender people.

Celebrate pride in a way that makes sense for you. Personally, I am not a rainbow kind of person, but I like to go places with my partner that makes me feel safe. Pride means something different to everyone, and it is okay if how you celebrate doesn’t look the same as someone else.

Contributed by Kim Neat, LPC

#pride month #mental health #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+ community

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immawritethat · 6 years ago

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Queer Picnic

Hello friends! This is another Friday Night Fights story, based off of @promptsforthestrugglingauthor prompt #494! I’m using a cast of characters from novel series I’ve since turned into a TV show, Spectrum, so please enjoy!

@writerofwriting @ken-kenwrites @fantastiskandie @the-authors-world

Stuffing nine young adults between the ages eighteen and twenty-six into one room to research for days on end was never led to too much good. Especially when each of those young adults had superpowers, which led to sometimes left them with anywhere between ten and fifteen young adults, depending on how much work Drew had allotted for herself. As the oldest and the leader, she consistently bit off more than she could chew so she could allow her teammates some reprieve. While the rest took breaks for meals and stretching and prayer, Drew worked herself near to death. If the others weren’t present, there was no doubt she wouldn’t even get up to urinate, and that she’d simply keep a bottle at her feet.

Of course, sometimes, someone needed to allow her some reprieve from the workload. Nairi looked up from her prayer mat, frowning as the group typed and scrolled away, reading various levels of exhaustion. It was worse than finals week had been her first semester, when she had assumed she could manage to put together a full corset-style gown in less than forty eight hours. She’d all but burned herself out before she could address the rest of her exams and projects.

“A picnic,” she said suddenly, breaking the silence. Eight heads snapped up at once, giving her their full attention—it wasn’t uncommon for Nairi to say something without fully explaining, as she sorted through a few languages in her head.

“What?” Dante asked, pushing himself from the desk.

“We should all go on a picnic!” Nairi repeated emphatically. “You know, like, a checkered blanket, woven-basket sort of ordeal. A cute little Americana thing! We could all use a bit of fresh air, I believe.”

“Yeah, seven gays and their two token straight friends by the lake with a giant basket. What could go wrong? Especially to the pan guy in the wheelchair?” Eddy snorted dismissively. “I’ll go, I guess, but if anyone pushes me within five feet of the shore I will open a portal underneath you straight to a set of train tracks.”

“Lovely.” Dante pressed his lips together. “Also, did you have to phrase it that way? Besides, Drew is straight, too.”

“Drew’s trans, and she can speak for herself, thank you,” she chimed in, still typing away. “Some gay people kind of just use it as an overall blanket statement meaning all LGBTQ+ identifying people. Also, I’m still kind of unsure if I’m straight. It’s a big ol’ queer question mark. Not that that’s relevant.”

“It’s okay, baby, you can be an honorary gay ‘cuz you’re dating me,” Tess smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek, leaving a pale pink stain glaringly obvious against his dark skin.

“I suppose being the ninth, straight wheel is fine then,” Vanessa balanced her head in her chin. “Keira, what do you think? You’re being uncharacteristically quiet over there. You’ve usually got just about everything to say on something like this.”

“On something like what?” Keira narrowed her eyes, uncertain if she should argue it or not.

“I dunno. Gay shit or group decisions.”

“Fair.” She took a moment before closing her laptop. “I think we should go. But we’ll put it up to a vote like usual.”

“All in favor?” Drew asked with a sigh, knowing she was going to be outvoted. Everyone but herself and Eduardo raised their hands.

“Then no point in voting against.” Aspen chimed, their grin as bright as the sun. “I’ll start making the veggie snacks! Who wants to help with the other food?”

“I’m right behind you,” Dante all but slammed his laptop closed.

“Don’t forget something halal, please!” Nairi called after the two.

“And kosher!” Zeke added.

Drew sat back in her chair with a sigh before minimizing the browser on her desktop. She stared at Nairi, shaking her head. Nairi’s spine stiffened, worried she had done something wrong. She opened her mouth to preemptively apologize, but Drew spoke first.

“I’ve heard of a gay brunch before, but I’ll admit, a queer picnic is new. Is it an ace thing?” She asked with a wry smile. Nairi returned her grin, looking forward to an afternoon of leisure with her newfound closest friends.

#friday night fights #pride month #my writing #original content #original fiction #spectrum series

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patriotsnet · 3 years ago

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How Many Log Cabin Republicans Are There

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/how-many-log-cabin-republicans-are-there/

How Many Log Cabin Republicans Are There

Nbc Outtrump Supporters In Battleground States Largely Favor Lgbtq Rights Poll Finds

Asked about Trump’s attitude toward the LGBTQ community, Kabel offered a series of well-rehearsed talking points: Trump is “the most gay-friendly president,” same-sex marriage is settled law, Trump-nominated Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch wrote the pro-LGBTQ decision in Bostock v. Clayton County, Georgia, and the administration is doing great work on HIV/AIDS.

As an example of how “the press doesn’t give him a break,” Kabel cited the administration’s partnership with Gilead Sciences Inc. and pharmacies, including CVS and Walgreens, to provide and distribute HIV-prevention medication to targeted communities.

“He never got credit for it,” Kabel said. “The LGBT organizations thank Walgreens and CVS and, of course, intentionally forgot to mention Trump actually made this happen.”

In June, Trump declared that the same scientific know-how that produced an AIDS vaccine would deliver one soon for Covid-19, even though there is no AIDS vaccine.

Kabel said he wishes the Republican National Committee would have met this year to update the party’s official platform, which still states at least five times that marriage should exclusively be a union of “one man and one woman.” But he said he’s not worried about a backslide on LGBTQ rights.

“The social conservatives understand that we’ve won on marriage,” he said. “They’ve lost, we’ve won, and I think they really play it down now.”

Back Into The Wider World

After Bakers speech, the groups first female chairman, Sarah Longwell, announced the afterparty was at Nellies, a popular gay/sports bar with a weekend drag-queen brunch. You boys enjoy yourselves, she said, Ive got kids at home. Someone appeared in a skin-tight Make America Great Again dress and posed for photos in front of the Log Cabin logo with the dress designer; they were the most exotically outfitted attendees:

Online, Democratic critics unsheathed their knives. Your org has accomplished nothing in 40 fucking years as the GOP has gone from bad to worse to Trump on your watch, the activist and advice columnist Dan Savage wrote in response to a cheery tweet from Angelo celebrating the night. Go fuck yourselves Log Cabin Republicans, Savage wrote.

At the Mayflower, after a few minutes of post-speech networking chatter, much of the room cleared out.

Outside the grand ballroom two women in pantsuits walked down the wide marble hallway from the party. They casually held hands for a moment, then unclasped as they approached the crowded lobby.

Next to the front door stood a group of men in well-cut suits in shades of charcoal. It was impossible to tell if they were they from the Log Cabin event or part of the Mayflowers regular carousel of business guests.

And that, the Log Cabin Republicans would tell you, is exactly the point.

Sarah Longwell: Donald Trump Is Not A Republican Or A Conservative

Longwell insisted that she still holds traditional Republican beliefs, including “restraint from the executive branch fiscal responsibility and American leadership in the world where we treat our allies with respect.”

The problem with Trump isn’t a gay issue, she said; rather, it’s an American issue.

I think Donald Trump is an existential threat to democracy and the country, because the rules dont apply to him, said Longwell, 40. He thinks hes above the law.

She blames the president for disregarding the Constitution, cozying up to dictators and putting his own interests first, and said she is frustrated that the GOP has stood by him.

“Republicans should be a party that cares about principles and ideas, not its loyalty to one man,” she said.

She said she’ll be voting for Biden, whom she calls a centrist. “He has a message of unity, not division.”

Other LGBTQ Republicans, like Williams, straddle the line. Asked whether she’ll be voting for Trump, she tactfully replied, “The jury is still out.”

“Since New Jersey is not in play, I’ve been trying to focus on more of our down-ballot candidates who’ve sought my support and my counsel on reaching voters,” she said.

Log Cabin Republicans And Goproud Struggle For Future Of Lgbt People In The Gop Party

The night before the Republican National Convention began in Tampa last month, a group of gay Republicans sipped wine and ate crab cakes at the Rusty Pelican, a white-tablecloth establishment with massive fireplaces and sweeping bay views. Defying the widespread perception that the Republican party is more actively opposed to gay rights than ever, R. Clarke Cooper, the 41-year-old director of the Log Cabin Republicans, told the gathering that gays are not just an insular group in the party, were an integral part of the party. Like other fetes around town that week, the reception was dominated by clean-cut white men who looked like consultants with practiced golf swings. Women and minorities were as rare a sight as unpleated pants.

Log Cabin, a Republican fixture since the late 70s, defines its mission as building a stronger, more inclusive Republican Party by lobbying for same-sex marriage, anti-discrimination laws, and other gay causes. With 44 chapters and more than 45,000 members, it has become the closest thing there is in the gay Republican scene to the establishment. Its nemesis and counterpart is the three-year-old GOProud, the only other national organization for gay Republicans. While Log Cabins white-wine affair at the Rusty Pelican was designed to appeal to the old-school Republican country-club set, GOProuds event, dubbed Homocon, featured male go-go dancers in skin-tight Freedom is Fabulous belly-tees.

REPUBLICANS FROM THE GET-GO

Jonathan Hoffman: Log Cabin Republicans A Model For Politics

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The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer.

It seems as if our political contests have become more like warfare than debates these days. The increase in identity politics has lead to some political parties becoming more like tribes defined by ethnicity, race or sexual orientation, rather than parties defined by philosophy or principles. As such, there is no place for cooperation or compromise, just a question of who will prevail.

The other day I was wondering if there was some group that, by example, demonstrates that it need not be that way. I then heard someone mention the Log Cabin Republicans, and I thought, Yeah, those guys.

Who are the LCR people?

Let us begin with a little history. In the late 1970s, gay Americans were becoming more accepted in the broader culture. This prompted a backlash. States began banning gay people from teaching in public schools. The California version of this was a ballot initiative championed by a state legislator named John Briggs. The Briggs Initiative, as it was called, had overwhelming support and looked like a done deal.

I spoke with my friend Bill Beard, a gay Republican who served as chairman of the Pima County Republican Party and is active in LCR. I asked him about endorsements. He told me that the local chapter endorsed all three Republicans for Tucson City Council, and made no formal endorsement for mayor.

Thats why I thought, Yeah, those guys.

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Trans Rights: A Perplexing Issue

Like many other gay conservatives, however, he seems to disconnect gay rights and transgender rights. Kabel recalled a recent article with a quotation from the conservative activist Tony Perkins that contrasted the Democratic and Republican platforms in 2016.

“The only issue Perkins raised was the transgender bathroom issue,” Kabel said. “And I thought, ‘That means we won.'”

Kabel called transgender equality “one of the most perplexing issues going.”

“Transgender people deserve support and protection just like anybody else, but it’s a very complex issue,” he said. “It’s remarkable when you hear their stories, but it’s just a very perplexing issue about how to really address it and do it so that they’re protected but other people aren’t hurt, so that people’s religious views are actually taken into consideration.”

Transgender visibility is all but absent in the Log Cabin Republicans, from their leadership to their messaging.

An OUTSpoken Instagram post compares the LGBT left to the LGBT right by putting an image of a person who appears to be transgender or gender-nonconforming next to a shirtless picture of former U.S. Rep. Aaron Schock, while the campaigns store sells T-shirts bearing slogans like “gay for Tucker” “gay for Melania” and “gay not stupid.

OUTspoken sent Brokeback Patriot, who has stated trans women are not women, to New Orleans Southern Decadence party to ask passersby if they think Trump is pro-gay.

Burning During The War Of 1812

On August 2425, 1814, in a raid known as the , British forces invaded the capital during the . The , , and were burned and gutted during the attack. Most government buildings were repaired quickly; however, the Capitol was largely under construction at the time and was not completed in its current form until 1868.

Citing Resources In The Web Archive

Citations should indicate: Archived in the Library of Congress Web Archives at www.loc.gov. When citing a particular website include the archived website’s Citation ID . Researchers are advised to follow standard citation guidelines for websites, pages, and articles. Researchers are reminded that many of the materials in this web archive are copyrighted and that citations must credit the authors/creators and publishers of the works. For guidance about compiling full citations consult Citing Primary Sources.

Nbc Outcourt Orders Idaho To Provide Gender Surgery For Trans Inmate

Despite the backlash to the Trump endorsement, Charles Moran, the groups national spokesperson, told NBC News the group has no plans to rescind its support for the president as it was a universal decision determined by the board of directors and chapters.

When asked whether Henry was involved in the endorsement decision, Moran said he could not speak to that as he was not on the phone call during her resignation but that he and the board thank her for her service to the Log Cabin Republicans.

Henrys departure comes just weeks before the groups Sept. 17 Spirit of Lincoln reception in D.C. The annual event has typically included a dinner and reception featuring high-profile Republican attendees, but this year there will only be a reception.

Were seeing a lot of what I thought would happen: A lot of prominent leaders are leaving the group, Evans told NBC News. We need a Republican group that advocates for LGBTQ issues, but the Log Cabin Republicans have sent the message that this is not their priority.

Log Cabin Republicans Endorse Trump

The Log Cabin Republicans endorsed President Trump

The group said its national board of directors voted to endorse Trump after consulting with its chapters across the country.

Log Cabin Republicans Chairman Robert Kabel and Vice Chairwoman Jill Homan argued in a Washington Post op-ed on Friday that Trump has helped remove LGBTQ rights as a wedge issue in the GOP, citing his administration’s policies on ending the spread of HIV/AIDS as well as his push to get other countries to conform to modern human rights standards.

The leaders also cited Trump’s appointment of Richard Grenell, who is openly gay, as U.S. ambassador to Germany.

“While we do not agree with every policy or platform position presented by the White House or the Republican Party, we share a commitment to individual responsibility, personal freedom and a strong national defense,” Kabel and Homan wrote.

The move marks a reversal after the group refused to endorse Trump in 2016, citing him surrounding himself with advisers “with a record of opposing LGBT equality,” as well as his support of the First Amendment Defense Act, which would block the federal government from taking adverse action against people based on their beliefs about marriage.

The group said in 2016 that they would welcome the opportunity to work with him on LGBTQ issues.

The president has also come under fire for the views of Vice President Pence, who has opposed legalizing same-sex marriage, citing his Christian faith.

Log Cabin Republican Quits After The Group Endorses Trump’s Re

Prior to Henry’s resignation, Casey Pick, who served as the programs director for the Log Cabin Republicans from 2010 to 2013, wrote in a Facebook post that even though she began distancing herself from the group after the 2012 election, she decided to give it another chance after Henry was brought on board as executive director.

I was hopeful that despite watching the organizations slide toward Trump apologism under Gregory T. Angelo , their hiring a skilled and principled operative like Henry meant the organization would finally be able to again be a conscience this party needs, Pick wrote on Aug. 15, the same day the group endorsed Trump. I publicly celebrated her hiring, and encouraged my peers in the LGBT advocacy community to give LCR another shot, knowing that a vibrant and effective Log Cabin could be a godsend during a Trump/Pence administration.

Yet, Pick said, Henrys hands have been tied and instead of espousing a progressive mission, the group increasingly fulfills the stereotypes that used to be hurled at Log Cabin Republicans: overwhelmingly gay men who are indifferent to the experiences of women, transgender Americans or LGBT people who lack the financial or social resources to protect them from the discrimination that they so often deny even exists.

“Don’t call me a Log Cabin Republican,” she wrote at the conclusion of her post.

Civil Rights And Home Rule Era

1960s Washington DC, 4K from 35mm Kinolibrary

The was ratified in 1961, granting the district three votes in the for the election of president and vice president, but still no voting representation in Congress.

After the , on April 4, 1968, , primarily in the U Street, 14th Street, 7th Street, and H Street corridors, centers of black residential and commercial areas. The riots raged for three days until more than 13,600 federal troops and D.C. Army National Guardsmen stopped the violence. Many stores and other buildings were burned; rebuilding was not completed until the late 1990s.

In 1973, Congress enacted the , providing for an elected mayor and thirteen-member council for the district. In 1975, became the first elected and first black mayor of the district.

How Groups Get Approved By Cpac Including Massresistance

MassResistance registered for a table at CPAC on January 8, six weeks before the conference. We were told that the approval process could take 5-7 working days, but to go ahead and make airline and hotel reservations, etc. anyway.

We waited two weeks with no answer. Then on Jan. 24 a conference call was set up to discuss your organization and your plans for CPAC. It was with CPACs events coordinator and Dan Schneider, the Executive Director. He said he had never heard of MassResistance.

We described the history of MassResistance and the kind of activism we do. We were very up-front about our plans for CPAC. We were going to promote our book, The Health Hazards of Homosexuality, and similar materials. We told Schneider we believe that CPACs large constituency of younger people had not been sufficiently exposed to the pro-family message, and he agreed. He said he would like pro-family groups to come to CPAC.

Schneider said that there are four criteria for a group to be approved:

The applicant organization must stand for at least one conservative/right-of-center proposition

The applicant organization must not exist primarily for a liberal purpose

The applicant organization must be legitimate

The applicant organization cannot be disrespectful of either ACU or CPAC

We told him that it was hard to believe that the Log Cabin Republicans would pass this since they clearly exist to homosexualize the Republican Party and push the LGBT agenda in government and society.

Working For Lgbt Americans

In 2019, Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar announced that pharmaceutical company Gilead Sciences Inc., would donate pre-exposure prophylaxis medication for uninsured, high-risk HIV individuals.

As part of the president’s Ending the HIV Epidemic: A Plan for America initiative, this medication, which could run up to as much as $20,000 per patient, per year, would be distributed to up to 200,000 individuals each year through at least Dec. 31, 2025.

The Trump plan is focused on communities most in need and has received support from those who have been involved in the fight against HIV/AIDS.

In similar fashion, Trump announced during Pride Month in 2019 that his administration was launching a global campaign to end the criminalization of homosexuality. His leadership on this issue couldnt be more necessary even in 2020, 72 countries still identify same-sexual orientation as criminal, including eight where it is punishable by death.

This campaign was spearheaded by former U.S. Ambassador to Germany Richard Grenell, an openly gay member of the administration who subsequently served as acting director of U.S. national intelligence, becoming the first openly gay Cabinet member in our history. In coordination with the United Nations, the European Union and other human rights organizations, the campaigns goal is to pressure nations into ending homophobic laws, securing the safety and freedom of all LGBT individuals throughout the world.

Who Are The Log Cabin Republicans

The Log Cabin Republicans are a political organization founded in the 1970s that identifies themselves as staunchly Republican, with a twist. Members of the Log Cabin Republicans are strong activists for many Republican values, the idea of free markets, limited government and lower taxation, especially of high earners and corporations. They especially support privacy, and identify most with President Lincoln, one of the most identifiable presidents, who was born in a log cabin. They identify with Lincolns Republican party at that time, which could definitely be considered the more liberal of the two parties, especially in Lincolns signing of the emancipation proclamation and his promotion of civil rights for all.

This issue is extremely important to Log Cabin Republicans because most members identify themselves as gay or lesbian, or in support of equal rights for gays or lesbians. While a number of lesbians, gays, bisexual and transgender folks identify more strongly with the Democratic party, many members of the Log Cabin Republicans find themselves out of step with the Democrats on many issues. Their political ideas are more aligned with those of the Republican party, and thus since the 1970s the LCRs have become an important part of the political process in avidly supporting non-discrimination of the LGBT community, promoting greater funds for AIDs research, and supporting measures like the right for individuals to marry others of their choosing.

Nbc Outover 500 Lgbtq Candidates To Appear On November Ballots Shattering Records

Williams, chair of the Republican Committee in Trenton, New Jersey, agrees that some LGBTQ Republicans choose to look past certain statements or policies especially cisgender members.

LGBTQ “people who are voting for the president are most likely not going to be transgender, because we’ve been the target and the butt of most of the administration’s actions,” she said.

According to the GLAAD poll, however, 19 percent of trans and nonbinary registered voters were supporting Trump more than either gay men or lesbians .

This Former Log Cabin Republican Is On A Mission To Stop Trump

Sarah Longwell says Trump threatens the GOP but, more importantly, democracy itself.

Back in the day , when I worked on Capitol Hill, I met my very first boyfriend. Kurt was from Paducah, Ky., and worked for a fairly moderate Republican at the time, a senator named Mitch McConnell.

We were both in the closet, and I would pick Kurt up in my car at discrete locations. We never really spoke about politics, because it really didnt matter. The only thing I vaguely recall him telling me about McConnell was that they put lipstick on him for TV appearances since his mouth is like a knife slash.

And, one of my best drinking buddies during that period, worked um, lets say toiled for then-Rep. Rick Santorum. I only knew that Santorum was an absolute jerk because I sat next to him at a dinner on the Hill one night and witnessed his rude and obnoxious behavior. He was childishly upset about getting the right dinner rolls. But again, with Will, there was never any talk about politics. We just had a good time over lots and lots of beers.

Thats the way it was then in Congress. You had friends across party lines, and anyone who was virulently political was usually also friendless.

Sarah Longwell also worked for Rick Santorum back in the in mid 1990s, going on a tour with Senator Santorum to help promote his book, It Takes a Family. She was coming out as a lesbian at the time and eventually quit Santorum, who she considered the most visibly antigay politician in the country.

Nbc Outtrump Applauds Poll Showing 45 Percent Support Among Gay Men

Kazmierczak called Trump a staunch supporter of gay people and their rights, but he said he makes a distinction when it comes to religious groups.

“He doesn’t want gay rights forced on religious institutions,” Kazmierczak said. “It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t support gay people. It means that to him, religious freedom is more important than social issues.”

Trump made a halfhearted effort to court the LGBTQ community in the run-up to the 2016 presidential election. He called the massacre of 49 mostly LGBTQ people at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, that year an “assault on the ability of free people to live their lives, love who they want and express their identity.”

At the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Trump swore “to protect our LGBTQ citizens from the violence and oppression of a hateful foreign ideology.”

And two days before Election Day, he grabbed an upside-down Pride flag inscribed with “LGBT for Trump” at a rally in Colorado and waved it around.

Once in office, however, Trump has consistently opposed LGBTQ rights from rolling back Obama-era nondiscrimination protections to banning openly transgender service members in the military. The national LGBTQ rights group GLAAD has accused the Trump administration of 181 separate attacks on the community since his inauguration.

For Rogers, Trumps bona fides with the community arent so important.

Many gay Trump supporters say they’re tired of being told what political views are acceptable.

While Democrats Take The Lesbian And Gay Community For Granted Donald Trump’s Republican Party Is Delivering Real Results

Democrats are using their convention this week to tout their agenda for the next four years, including their promise to stand up for the lesbian and gay community. For years, Democratic Party leaders have taken for granted the lesbian and gay community along with other minority communities thinking they had no where else to turn. Those days are over.

I’ve fought for civil rights for gay Americans for the past four decades. Today, the Republican Party is delivering real results and leadership for our community:

It hasnt always been this way. For years, the GOP generally stood against the inclusion of gay and lesbian conservatives. As one of the Republican National Committee’s first openly gay members, and a longtime leader of Log Cabin Republicans, I’ve worked tirelessly alongside many friends and colleagues to pull the party into the future. Today, thanks in large part to the leadership of President Donald Trump, the party has delivered meaningful policy victories for gays and lesbians.

He didnt abandon these principles when he assumed his position behind the Resolute Desk.

Nbc Outsan Francisco Police Chief Apologizes To Lgbtq Community

Evans announced her own departure from the Log Cabin Republicans last Monday in a scathing op-ed for LGBTQ magazine The Advocate. Jennifer Horn, a former board member, and Robert Turner, the former president of the group’s Washington, D.C., chapter, also denounced the Trump endorsement and left the group last week.

Notably, Henrys name did not appear alongside those of board members Robert Kabel and Jill Homan in a Washington Post Op-Ed this month announcing the group’s endorsement of Trump. The Log Cabin Republicans declined to endorse Trump in 2016.

In the endorsement, Kabel and Homan cited Trumps commitment to end HIV/AIDS in 10 years, which was met both with cautious optimism and flat-out skepticism, and his work with Richard Grenell, the openly gay U.S. ambassador to Germany, to encourage other nations to end the criminalization of homosexuality, as examples of his dedication to the LGBTQ community.

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ddlc-imagines · 7 years ago

Note

Heyo can I get another set of really gay HCs for a fem-reader (maybe trans girl if you can) and Yuri spending a snowy day inside? Having a pretty shit day today, though honestly these'll make my day better no matter when you're actually able to get them done

Sure thing!!

You were planning on going over to Yuri’s house for brunch one Saturday morning

It was calling for snow, but you figured that it would be okay

After you eat, you start discussing the heavy-handedness of the political metaphors in the book you’ve both just finished, and you get really into the conversation. Before you know it, there’s about five inches of snow piled on the ground with no signs of stopping

You check your phone, and apparently the snow is so bad that the trains have been closed temporarily, so you can’t go back home

Yuri worries, but maintains her composure, saying that it would be irresponsible of her to make you walk home in such conditions, and asks if you want to just stay the rest of the day, and if conditions are still bad you can spend the night if you want to

She makes some more tea, and tells you to go sit in the living room where you two can talk more comfortably

As you’re waiting for her, you notice all the atmospheric touches that make her house so pleasant: the coherent, neutral color scheme, the soft yet bright light coming in from the snowy scene outside, tempered by velvet curtains lining the windows, the permeating scent of chamomile essential oil from her candle diffuser

It’s all so soft, so elegant, so Yuri

When she comes back with two steaming teacups, she gives you one and carefully sits down with the other, and the two of you settle into each other, you leaning down and laying your head in her lap

You enjoy the silence, mostly, feeling your stress melt away as Yuri strokes your hair, feeling and listening to her breathing

She occasionally makes quiet comments about winter, how the snow gives everything a muted, soft feeling, making people feel more introspective and think deeply

“I’ve been thinking about what my parents might say about us, if I still talked to them...” she says, getting a faraway look in her eyes before looking down at you and smiling

“It doesn’t matter what they think, though. I love you, I only care about what you think, what you want...”

She blinks, and asks what you’ve been thinking about, and you tell her. Whatever it is, if you’re happy, she smiles, if you’re stressed or upset, she sighs with you and offers her thoughts

She asks if you want to read, or watch a movie, or something, your pick

You pull out your phone and connect it to the tv, scrolling through netflix to see what looked good, when all of a sudden the power goes out

You’re surprised to realize that it’s already dark outside, a fact apparent because now the only light in the room was coming from the few candles around

Yuri apologizes, but you quiet her, saying that it’s not her fault

You two take some time to light a few more candles, silently agreeing not to use your phones for light, since that would ruin the atmosphere

You admit that you don’t particularly feel like reading, so Yuri suggests that you play a game of chess

You carefully move the candles to the little breakfast nook table you had been eating at earlier, and set up the board

She’s not very good, but you guess that it’s probably because she hardly ever gets to practice playing against someone, since not many of her friends are chess people

After you play for awhile, you dig around the kitchen for something to eat, feeling kind of like an explorer holding your candle for light

After you eat, Yuri lets you take a shower first, saying she would find something for you to wear for pajamas. You can only laugh when she hands you a pastel pink shirt with a rainbow decal on it that had to be at least size XXL

She blushes when you ask where she got it, saying that it was a gift from Sayori when she had came out to her, but Sayori didn’t know what size she was and assumed she would want one in the biggest size they had. Nevertheless, she was glad she had something that would fit you comfortably

You aww at her and she blushes again, but you thank her

She takes a shower, and the two of you go to her room, you sit on the bed as she straightens up a little bit (even though it’s already perfectly clean)

You go ahead and lay down, feeling sleepy after eating, crawling under the blankets to fight how cold it was outside

Yuri selects a book from her shelf and sits next to you, saying that it’s okay if you fall asleep, she’s just going to read a bit then go to bed

You fall asleep to the rhythm of Yuri softly tapping on the cover as she reads

#doki doki literature club #ddlc #ddlc yuri #yuri #ddlc headcanons #ddlc imagines #headcanons #imagines #sorry i couldn't really work in a place to explicitly mention that the reader is trans but i wrote them with that in mind!#if that helps lol #hope you feel better anyway #burnmeumi

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redwoodspine · 8 years ago

Quote

Welcoming this Pride as a giant FUCK YOU to all the people who make us feel unsafe. To the sisters whom we vulnerably come out to before anyone else in the family and they respond with "I hope you tell the family very soon because you're placing a big burden on me by doing this. I'll be praying for you". To the parents who send our grieving friends packages of journals and gift cards to be supportive but pretend our significant others don't exist. To the bosses whom you report discrimination to and they say "we all just have differing beliefs" Fuck you to the "just playing devils advocate" To the [gentle pat on the shoulder] followed by a "some families just go through these things", comparing your entire disownment to the time they dented their parents car. This Pride is a big Fuck you to the shame, to the fear, to the human ability to completely ice people out instead of engaging the hard conversations. I'm walking into this weekend for the rainbows, for the clever shirts, the no shirts, the glitter tits. For the parents still coming to celebrate, and mourn, and love the parentless kids, though their own kid passed in the 80's. For the non-binary person who comes knowing when they say their preferred pronoun is "they", they won't be met with question marks. For the lesbian couple who paved the fucking way for this parade and still wear their Lavender Menace shirts. For the gay dads. For the trans women who SHOW THE FUCK UP and make us all think we can wear heels for 12 hours without the slightest wince. For the couples who pass so well they feel they have to defend their queerness MAY WE NEVER PUT SOMEONE IN A POSITION WHERE THEY HAVE TO DEFEND THEIR IDENTITY we have to cut this shit out. We are who we are and we are fortunate enough to have been welcomed in with warmth to this sparkly, giant, "everyone's family" community and how dare anyone ask another person why they deserve to be offered the same welcoming. we are standing on the shoulders of those who fought the hard fights for rights so that not all of our stories would be written with blood. BUT SOME OF OUR STORIES ARE STILL WRITTEN WITH BLOOD, and because of that, as a 25 year old white, cis, femme, bisexual woman I have an obligation and a fucking moral responsibility to use my privilege to make sure we aren't politely eating our pre-packaged prepped meals in the car and ignoring all of the oppression taking place on the streets, and the homes, in the closets, the churches, the back seats of cars. We all have a responsibility and a fucking moral obligation to create more safe places and then to make sure they stay safe EVEN WHEN IT MAKES US UNCOMFORTABLE. So I'm welcoming this Pride as a fuck you to both the plush life and the discomfort. May being together bring us all face to face with narratives that help us understand what we aren't used to. May we all come prepared to say fuck you this weekend to whatever it is that has wronged us, and shamed us, and made us feel unworthy of celebration. May we have conversations at the brunch table brave enough that we laugh and cry at the same time and then stop ourselves for apologizing for the crying part. And say fuck you to the concept that we have to apologize for crying. May we be as quiet or as loud as we need to to feel liberated. May we be as quiet or as loud as we need to to be proud, and may we do whatever is required of us to make sure no one comes to Pride and leaves feeling like they weren't safe, welcomed, and covered in fucking glitter.

#pride #fuckyou

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rexylafemme · 8 years ago

Text

this precious time when time is new

things come full circle all the time. ruben touched down in nyc on saturday. micah and i trekked to laguardia to get him, laughing on the way about how ridiculous we all were in the bay, how we bet our lil ruben looks more grown now, seasoned, hehe. the last time micah, ruben, and i were together was for the full pisces supermoon in late summer, september 2015--the night before micah would move back to nyc, our last full night at our house all together. a month before ruben would leave, two months before i would leave. this time, ruben arrived in time for the virgo full moon, pisces’ opposite, in late winter 2017, the coldest, snowiest week we’ve had.

that last night together in september, we drove to alameda beach armed with paper, some stones, herbs & flowers, gifts & letters from ex-whatevers & poem drafts to throw to the ocean, ruben’s signature drink: fireball whiskey (ew), a blunt, some candles, a mini speaker. all the trappings for a spell for letting go, for saying goodbye. bitch better have my money on in the car ride there, our heads hanging out the window, boisterous--our anthem for that year (/always), being broke, undervalued, and continuously doing too much work for too little or free, retail and retail and food service and gigs and workshops and unofficial art modeling and freelance writing and recording and plans that kept falling through. now we were in the home stretch. we laid down our blanket, we set out our herbs, our stones, our candles. we sat in a triangle, wrote silently for awhile: what we would surrender to the bay, what we would leave there, what we couldn’t keep or hold anymore. also, what new journeys we needed new strength for.

we went around and said some words about what we’d written, said some sentimental stuff about each other. poured out some fireball, passed it around til it was gone--so sickly sugary & spicy like melted/liquefied big red gum, coating yr mouth and throat. we stuffed our losses in the bottle and walked to the shoreline. we fumbled trying to figure out a way for all three of us to hold the bottle while we threw it, haha. the moon hung to the left of our viewscape, leaving a moving trail of yellow on the water as we watched the bottle bobble away. i walked into the water alone up to my waist--feeling grateful, trying to absolve myself of this place and all its failures, looking up at the moon and asking it my questions about what next and help and please don’t let us lose this. hearing micah and ruben laugh from the sand, smiling to myself with love for them, sighing and crying a little. no turning back now, can’t hold onto everything, nothing is forever, and then it was over, the night. tomorrow everything would be different. just one more chip off an already broken heart.

“nothing’s changed!” micah exclaimed laughing as we stood propped against the subway doors on the Q train to brooklyn. ruben and i fake-fighting, the bates motel norma and norman faux-codependence theatrical game we’d play-- we all go a little mad sometimes, there’s a cord between our hearts, etc. the three of us hugging and giggling. after almost two hours of traveling from queens to flatbush, we wound up at micah and sharmin’s for game night. i was in the middle of a two-week marathon of insomnia and ptsd nights, so i was feeling raw/cranky/crazy/depleted/negative and was waiting for my affections to catch up with the present moment. ruben! friends! games! you don’t wanna go home and write by yourself, rex, you fool. it’s saturday night! but knowing when i’m like this, at night i get all weird & doubtful & dark, but reminding myself to just be myself, relax, remember what’s good, no pressure, if you need to leave, you can. and you might even enjoy yourself. and of course i didn’t wind up going home til 2am, spent and full, as suddenly the future hit--clocks springing ahead to 3am for daylight savings.

but before that, sharmin’s friends arrived trickle by trickle until there were about ten of us. uno, jenga, slapjack, drinks, snacks, bullshit, taboo (team names: beyonce v. solange, and ruben and i were on the solange team, the weirder, low key underdog, and we won), stories, music, nintendo, laughter, newness, familiarity. it felt so nourishing to be in a room full of working class folks, folks from queens and bk, and ruben & micah: the two down suburban qts, home people--that easiness and fluency that comes with not having to explain yourself, everyone just getting it, breathing room & shared experiences. micah and i trying to explain all the wild connections between the people in the bay and the people out here. how i met sharmin, tanya (& tres tho only briefly), and jesse through black brunch organizing in 2014 when i was visiting home from the bay. learning sharmin and jesse both were from my qnz hood and knew my childhood bff ro through other organizing avenues. jova and reuben knew sharmin, too, and tanya and tres, jova having told me tanya and i needed to know each other way before this meeting bc of our poor white femme nyc/nj lives. later, when i moved home and jova was so right about tanya and me, and someow tres & tanya had known micah round the way (?!?!?!). and before that, when micah first moved back to nyc, he called me to talk about some amazing femme he met at the club--something that never happens for us--being so enchanted or even pursued at the club (partially bc we never even bothered to go), and as he described her, i was like, “wait, is her name sharmin???” hehehe, clearly micah can’t get enough of catty witches from queens. explaining the connections between all the ex-friends-&-lovers, too--nyc, the bay-- disenchantments & the chaos and the relief that it was all over. happy to be laughing about it now. ending stories. we have no past, we won’t reach back; keep with me forward all through the night.

origin stories. apparently, the first night ruben moved into our 668 apartment, micah and i were hosting a big party. i laughed and apologized retroactively, but it so sums up where we were at at the time. ruben said it helped him integrate tho, he felt welcomed and i remember being so thrilled to introduce him to everyone. realizing how much the three of us got each other through those two years--all the drama, all the marches, the confusion, blowouts, heartbreaks, housing scares, bad jobs, the nights, the mornings--waking up with glitter on our faces, splayed eyeliner, party carnage, or just waking up to work & life fatigue, big breakfasts, sitting in the sun on our stoop year-round. so much we shared and still a lot of room for things we couldn’t say and didn’t have to. but, how home the three of of us felt to each other then, and now, and how we extended that sense of home to others--sometimes guests sleeping over in every room of the house except the kitchen, our place a safe zone on march routes, multiple sets of people staying with us through rocky times, the big meals we’d host when i was working at farmers’ markets & the spice shop simultaneously, pooper cat game nights, the trigger warning performance series + parties we threw out of the house. talya called our place the gay frat house (tho i have to say in defense that it was quite clean). leo sun/leo rising/leo moon trio. so familiar, so sweet, so effortless, so open. our little clubhouse, our little family. remembering is good if you don’t let it be the fear in you.

i think we felt lacking then, i think we felt we couldn’t get our footing or find somewhere where we belonged-- but looking back, we created what we didn’t have and we invited other people into it. all the adult misfits. we got burned by being open indiscriminately and it made us shrinking violets by the end, but we’re blooming again now. riding that bloom wave.

at one point the other night, i overheard sharmin say to a friend, “aren’t they so cute? they’re such teen boys over there.” as we were sitting in a corner doing our thing. and that was always true of our vibe-- our bond full of youthful, long-lost brother feels. but, soft, feminine boys, & sometimes we’re not boys at all. 668 40th st, living one up from hell, we’d joke, which maybe is what gifted us that mythical queer fountain-of-youth gene where we look 17 forever. young leos. after long days of work + grad school madness (me) or undergrad madness (ruben), in between assignments, projects, art, meetings, shifts, we were always watching movies from our childhoods, making forts, running around in our underwear, making art on the floor in the living room, doing drag, playing board games, talking shit, pushing each other around and wrestling and cuddling and teasing each other, holding hands and being protective of each other when we had to. our intimacy--so easy & necessary & good & a balm from the bad intimacies we got lost in at times. we grew together: we all taught each other things and challenged each other, especially through our differences. bb ruben had never met a trans person before and micah and i were like “well, here we are!” and both of us so different in our trans-ness. we were all so inviting & open to excavating each other so we could be better at honoring who we all were.

and in new york now, finally living here on my own terms, regardless of the obstacles: housing scares and failures, the last of the bad intimacies (i hope), and family, i am thinking of who i was before. the sense of un-belonging that’s had me leaving new york over and over, the pain of lineage that had me craving escape, craving to be someone else, craving to leave them all behind. while simultaneously always trying to make sense of the people i come from so i could make sense of myself: the grief i never let go of, the contradictions, the violence and the nourishment of us. how all of this and my own self within it--freakish, theatrical, full of shadows, so of them & yet so so other--had me always searching. the people, the others: i was always looking for and the ones i always found. there were the inexplicably lovable yet destructive ones who reified all of the patterns in me i was always trying to leave behind, and then i finally did. bye. and then all the people who were so new; whose influence, paired with my own, allowed us to make something from nothing-- magic, create beauty from old tragedies, whether we spoke of them or not. cosmic people, like ruben and micah, the pretty, sweet boys. boys who weren’t afraid to cry or to touch or to admit to love and fear and failure and wanting. and the three of us, whoever we are and will be, knowing our love was/is strong enough to withhold our leaving, being apart, and all of the transformations that would flush out of walking away, of change. that there would always be a road back. paths that cross will cross again!

and ruben is still here until saturday, so my sentimentality is running away with me. blame it on my wild heart. hehe.

#venus in furs #venus boys #boys #femmes #shadow #love #friends #queers #leos #young leo #nyc #homecoming #siblings

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