#make em meet before their lives went to shit…..

[charlotte-family-apologist]

While older Suchin tries to fill the silence as much as she can younger Suchin was quieter. Granted not a lot, I’d say she talked a normal amount, but she’s frustratingly good at small talk and can reel just about anybody into a conversation. A talent that she still has.

Kenshi on the other hand was a lot louder when he was younger. He was the loud, reckless kid who got into fights constantly. He cringes thinking back on it.

[unclewaynemunson]

"What. The. Fuck."

Over years of living in a trailer park, Eddie has seen his fair share of weird shit. But this right here? This surpasses everything.

Wayne is sitting on the couch in the living room, with an actual baby in his lap and a completely deadpan expression on his face like this is something that happens every day.

"Hey, Ed. Meet Sasha Munson."

"Sasha Munson?" Eddie repeats, hoping that saying the name out loud will make this whole thing less surreal. It doesn't, so he automatically switches right into disbelieving panic mode instead. "Sasha Munson?! What the fuck? She isn't mine, I promise, it's literally impossible, someone must've - Wait, hold on - Is she yours? Aren't you like fifty years too old to knock someone up? What the fuck did you do? Who's the mother? What were you thinking, man, we can't take care of a -"

"Eddie, sit down."

"No, I'm not sitting down, this is ridiculous, what the fucking fuck, we can't -"

"She ain't mine and she ain't yours."

"What the-" It takes a few seconds before Wayne's words sink in. Then, Eddie freezes mid-sentence, giving his brain a second or two to catch up to what Wayne just said.

"Wait, what?" he asks.

He gives the sleeping baby a distrustful look. It's small - too small to be a human, if you asks Eddie. It scares him a little bit.

"Then whose is she?"

"I told ya to sit down, Ed."

And Wayne's voice is so strict and serious that Eddie can only obey.

"Your dad was here earlier."

Those few words are enough to tell Eddie exactly what happened. He immediately feels sick to his stomach. He wants to cover his ears, or walk out of the trailer and never come back. But instead, he keeps sitting, frozen in his chair, and listens to what Wayne tells him.

"Sasha is his daughter. He had this girlfriend, Melody, 'bout a year ago. She's much younger than him, is all I know 'bout her. I think they were kinda serious at the time. But Clyde went and messed it up, of course. Cheated on her. She dumped him. Then showed up again a few weeks later all sobered up and told him she was pregnant. Far as I know, things went okay for a while after that. But she caved right after she gave birth. It took a toll on her, Clyde said. So she needed the drugs again. He left her; he didn't see a way to help her and he was worried 'bout Sasha's safety. So he took Sasha with him and brought her to me. Said he couldn't take care of a baby and that was that."

It is a story eerily similar to what Wayne told Eddie about his own early years, whenever he'd ask him questions about his parents.

Eddie looks at the tiny human in Wayne's arms. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is just slightly agape. She's wrapped in a blanket that has a soft shade of pink, with tiny elephants printed across it.

"He never learns, does he?" Eddie remarks with a sigh.

"He doesn't," Wayne affirms in a soft voice, shaking his head. "But you know what, if these are the consequences of his actions..." He first looks up at Eddie, then down at the baby in his lap again. "I can't even be too mad at him for it."

"Jesus Christ, what a mess."

"Don't think too badly of him, Ed," Wayne says. "He wanted to help them. Both of 'em. But he didn't know how. He did what he thought was gonna be best for Sasha. Just like he did with you. He ain't evil. Just a coward who makes bad decisions."

Eddie swallows thickly.

"We'll make it work," Wayne says with certainty in his voice. "It'll be tight, but we'll survive. We did it before, we can do it again."

Eddie nods.

"You wanna hold her?"

He shifts uneasily. She seems so fragile. He doesn't know a single thing about babies; he is his father's son, after all, not Wayne's, no matter how much he wishes he were.

"C'mon, Ed, she's your sister."

It's only now that Eddie notices how well it fits, Wayne with a baby in his arms. Like he was made to be a father. Like Sasha belongs there. There aren't any pictures of Eddie as a baby, as far as he knows, but he imagines it must've looked somewhat like this scene: the exact same couch, a different blanket, and a younger version of Wayne. One with less wrinkles and more hair; less worn-out by the sorrows Eddie has given him over the years. It's simple for Wayne, in a way it isn't for Eddie's father, and in a way that Eddie fears it won't be for him. To hold her gently and let her sleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat. To sit with her quietly and do nothing else. To give love and patience without expecting anything in return.

Eddie rises from his chair and sits down next to Wayne on the couch. He utters a shaky breath, trying not to show his nerves, and wipes his sweaty hands over his jeans before holding out his arms.

“Just like that,” says Wayne softly while he places Sasha in Eddie's arms.

She's warm and has that specific newborn baby scent clinging around her. She's heavier than Eddie expected. She stirs a little bit and makes a tiny sound, but then she continues her peaceful sleep. He studies her: her closed eyes, her tiny nose, the way her head rolls around helplessly if he doesn't support her steadily enough; the hand that's hanging out of the blanket, with minuscule but fully developed fingers that grab around nothing. He listens to the steady sound of her breathing and imagines the tiny lungs inside her body working on pure instinct to keep her alive. His sister.

He looks up and finds Wayne staring at the two of them with tears in his eyes. He only catches Eddie's gaze for a fraction of a second, then he looks away, to the window on his right side.

“You're wrong, you know,” Eddie says.

Wayne turns his head back to him.

“Bout what?”

“She isn't his. Neither am I.” He looks up from the girl in his hands to meet Wayne's eyes. “We're both yours. He didn't do jackshit for us, just dropped us here with you and ran away. You're the one who raised me, Uncle Wayne, and that makes me yours way more than his. And Sasha? We're both gonna be here for her, every step of the way. We're gonna change her diapers and feed her milk - I don't really know anything else about babies, but we're gonna do all of that, together. We're gonna see her grow up and become a person. She's ours.”

Wayne produces a noise that sounds somewhat like a choked-off sob. He puts an arm around Eddie and drags him closer towards him. He doesn't say anything, but Eddie didn't expect him to. He understands.

[thrillered]

meeting spencer at a bar and he gets super confident out of no where and sweeps reader off their feet lmao

This was so fun and silly to write. Love you all <3

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The music was loud. You were standing at the bar, waiting for the bartender to come over to you. Your good friend Angela was in town for Vidcon and she insisted you come out with her and meet her friends. You weren’t much of a partier but you hadn’t seen Angela in so long that you couldn’t pass up the opportunity. 

You had gone to college with Angela, she quickly became one of your best friends. You were heartbroken when you had to leave LA, receiving an opportunity you couldn’t refuse. 

It was like the bartender disappeared. You decided to sit down, still not seeing Angela inside. You knew she was on her way but you assumed it took a minute to leave Vidcon considering the fame smosh had amassed. 

—

“Oh my god! I’m so excited!” Angela gushed, sitting in the uber with Spencer and Amanda. 

“Hey Spencer, do you think she's excited?” Amanda asked teasingly. 

“This girls gotta be the best with how much praise you’ve given her.” Spencer remarked, having heard almost nothing but things about you since the plans were solidified. 

“I'm serious Spencer! I think you’re gonna love her! You gotta talk to her.” She demanded. 

“Okay we’ll see.” Spencer compromised. 

—

Amanda and Angela beelined it for the bathroom the second they got to the bar, leaving Spencer alone. He made his way to the bar, waiting to order a soda. He stood there for a minute, not seeing a worker behind the bar. 

“I honestly think he went missing.” You commented, noticing the way the curly haired man was looking back and forth. 

“What?” He asked, turning to find the voice.

“I’ve been waiting for like 6 minutes.” You laughed, fixing the strap on your top. “I just want a sprite man.” 

Spencer zero’d in on you, focusing on your voice over the loud music. He looked you up and down, taking you in. “You come to a bar for just a sprite?” He asked, stepping a bit closer to you. “I think there’s a McDonalds down the street and it's like 2 dollars there.” 

You laughed, throwing your head back slightly. “You don’t say? I’m actually meeting a friend.” You explained. 

“Oh shit, that sounds like a date.” Spencer put his hands up, “Didn’t mean to harsh your vibe.” 

He was cute you thought, in a kinda nerdy way. Unfortunately, that was just your type. He had brown hair that curled slightly, especially around the nape of his neck you noticed. He was wearing a Creed shirt with a denim jacket over it, his glasses complimenting his eyes. He seemed familiar too, you weren’t sure why, granted he was a white guy and you lived in california so there were a lot of white guys. 

“Actually, do I know you?” You asked, with a scrutinizing stare, using this as an opportunity to really look at him.

“I don’t think so, but I’d like it if you would.” Spencer said, shocked at his forwardness. 

“Oh? Care to make that happen for me?” You asked, curious about the stranger in front of you. “Tell me about yourself.” 

Spencer had completely forgotten about Angela and Amanda. They hadn’t come to find him and some other friends were also coming so he assumed they met up with them, maybe Courtney or Erin. Frankly he couldn’t care less either. He had a beautiful and seemingly witty woman in front of him that he was confidently talking to, who cared about his friends? He introduced himself to you, providing a more formal greeting. 

The establishment was large but especially crowded in front of the bar, even with the M.I.A bartender. Spencer grabbed your hand and led you to a more quiet booth against a wall. The tall backing in the booth providing extra privacy for you. Before he sat down Spencer took off his jacket, folding it over and placing it beside him, giving you a new view of his arms. He had tattoos on both of them. You couldn’t help but stare, your eyes darting across the many different patches of ink.

“You like ‘em?” Spencer asked, noticing your gaze.

“I like the ones I can see.” You replied. 

“Here.” He said, sliding into the booth next to you and rolling his sleeve up, exposing more ink. 

You moved in closer, carefully examining each tattoo. “Thwomp, classy.” 

“At least you know who he is.” 

“I think I know all of these characters,” You looked, noting each of the pokemon, cartoon, and game characters. Your eyes stopping on a small rectangular character, “Except maybe this guy.” You traced the tattoo, looking up to the man, who you now know to be Spencer, for an explanation. 

“That’s boxman.” 

“Points for accuracy I suppose.” You giggled. “Do you have any more? Or just on your arms?” 

“I have others, wanna see?” He asked, smirking. 

“If you’re about to show me a waluigi tattoo on your left buttcheek…” You trailed off, “Count me in.” 

Spencer laughed hard at this. Your humor seemed to match his very well. “You still down if it’s on my right buttcheek?” He asked, piling onto your joke. 

“I’ve gotta draw the line somewhere Spencer.” You remarked. 

His stomach flipped at the use of his name, something about the way it sounded coming from you was so right. He couldn’t help but stare. You looked almost ethereal, even in the dim lighting of the bar. 

You had been engrossed in your conversation with Spencer, you hadn’t noticed your phone buzzing every few seconds. You unlocked your phone to 14 missed texts and 4 calls from Angela. The messages beginning with “Hey I’m here!” to “meet me at the bar” and “Where are you?” “God now I can’t find my other friend”. 

“Oh fuck!” You exclaimed. 

“What's wrong?” 

“Remember how I said I was meeting a friend?” 

“Not really… but yeah?” 

“Yeah me neither, that’s the issue. She's here and I’ve been ignoring her.” You explained, immediately feeling guilty. “I gotta go but it was nice meeting you!” 

You began to walk away, Spencer having moved to let you leave the booth. You stopped for a moment before turning around and crossing the few feet back to Spencer. “Since I’m leaving I just wanna say you’re really cute.” 

You walked away before he could say anything, making your way around the bar until you found Angela. 

“I am so sorry Angela oh my god!” You said, swiftly walking up to her. “I got distracted by this super cute guy, which is no excuse.” 

“It’s okay, I’m just so glad to see you!” Angela replied, throwing her arms around you. “It’s been too long.” 

“God I know!” You huffed, “Oh! Did you ever find your other friend?” You asked, remembering her text. 

“Not yet, I’m sure he’ll turn up.” Angela reassured. “Let me introduce you to some people!” She led you a table down, getting the attention of everyone. “Guys! This is one of my best friends from college! Meet Y/N!” 

“It’s really great to meet you all!” You smiled, looking around the table. 

People began introducing themselves. The introductions made their way around the table before Alex, who was sitting across from you, noted, “We’re just missing Spencer.” 

“S-Spencer?” You asked, slightly choking on the water Angela had gotten you. 

“Yeah, that’s the other friend I can’t find.” Angela explained. 

“Uh.. He doesn’t happen to have a denim jacket does he? Or a lot of tattoos? Notably a thwomp and large crab on his arm?” 

“Yes, that's exactly him!” Angela approved. “You see him?” 

You sighed deeply, realizing you had been accidentally ignoring her for her very attractive friend. “I met him, uh, yeah… You know how I told you about that ‘Super cute’ guy?” 

“No way..” Angela said, immediately putting two and two together. 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Spencer walked up to the table, a coke in hand, not noticing you. Until Alex tried to introduce you two. You both froze for a moment, shocked, then quickly broke into fits of laughter. 

Spencer walked over to you, placing a hand on the small of your back as you both laughed. “We, uh, we met.” Spencer managed to get out, stifling his laughter. 

You found his laugh to be wonderful, like the sweetest music. It was dorky and yet so attractive. 

“I told you you would like her!!” Angela exclaimed. 

“I never said I liked her.” Spencer shut her down, sarcastically. 

You placed your hand on his shoulder, turning him slightly to face you. “Oh? You don’t like me?” You asked incredulously with a raised brow and a smirk. “I can totally leave.” 

“I wouldn’t do all that.” He laughed, putting an arm around your waist and pulling you into his side. 

“Yeah that’s what I thought.” You flirted. 

—

You caught up with Angela, telling each other about what had been happening in your lives. All while Spencer was by your side. After a little while Spencer untangled himself to go to the bathroom. 

“Holy shit.” Angela laughed, “He really likes you, damn.” 

“He must do this to all women.” You waved her off. Even though he was kinda dorky, the confidence he held with you had to be a regular thing for him. 

“Y/N.. he doesn’t talk to women.. And he's got his arm around you?? I don’t know what it is but damn he wants you bad! I’ve literally never seen him like this.” 

You thought about her words. You weren’t a super confident person either but something about Spencer was just easy to be around, maybe he felt the same about you. It was extra flattering knowing you were both sober and he just genuinely liked you. 

—

A few hours passed, people slowly leaving and heading back to their hotels. Finally you were about to say your goodbyes, giving Angela a hug and a promise to make your way to LA soon. 

“I guess this is goodbye Spencer.” You noted, sticking your hands in your pockets. 

“It doesn’t have to be.” He countered. 

“Oh?” 

“I mean if you need company tonight I’m free.” He offered, running a hand through his hair. His gorgeous hair. 

“You don’t have any big youtube commitments in the morning?” You teased.

“Not one.” He punctuated, giving you a long look up and down. 

Your face heated and stomach flipped at the insinuation. “My cars out front then.”

“Lead the way.”

[idesofrevolution]

The Journey of Dr. Santana Fabrega

There's nothing quite like your bro slobberin' over your sweaty feet while tokin' on a hookah. Let me just tell you- everybody's happy. I'm stoked to be stoned and minty fresh, and he's happy to taste my ripe size 12's. Who isn't the happiest? The folks. Sure, I dropped out of college, sure I started focusing one hundred percent on my art, sure I have a parade of guys out of my little basement lair... but I never got why they had to be such fuckin' buzzkills.

Ever since they joined that church when I was at uni, my parents have been sucked into the Evangelical cult. Not the whole lifting your hands up to Jesus & speaking in tongues sort of church, by the way. Man, they're out there with picket signs at sex clinics, bannin' books at the high school, all that crazy fuckin' Christian Nation bullshit. They're my parents, so I love 'em and whatever. But fuck, those psychos really fucked 'em up. So now, their crusade is "curing" me of my gayness. Didn't really matter that I'm pan, they don't really know the difference. They don't really care about the difference, though. Not straight, not right.

So when they caught me the other day with Sam cleanin' my dick in the basement, it was World War 3. Man, a Nuclear Bomb would have less energy than my mom's hysterical shrieking. It's Florida, so it's nothing the neighbors haven't heard before. But, shit. I thought my eardrums were gonna pop. They stomped off upstairs, bein' all 'we are going to talk about this later, Santiago.' So, I let Sammy finish up, I pulled on some shorts and I went upstairs to face the fire while he snuck out the basement window. Fuck, I wished I were him.

The 'family meeting' went about as well as you'd expect. Threats of burning in hell for all eternity, demands that I find the Lord, etc. Apparently he doesn't like a lot of things about me: my weed, my tattoos, my sexuality, my piercings, my hair for some reason? I don't know man, I just tuned out after a while. What I did catch, though, they were sending me to substance abuse counseling. Couldn't help but laugh, and that sent dad through the fuckin' roof.

"Doctor Fabrega is going to teach you some manners, young man. Make you a Godly man, like you should be." Yada yada yada. He should have known better than to give me the doc's name. After the ass reaming, I made my way back downstairs to the computer. It took five minutes of research to find this Doctor Fabrega. Turns out he's a Christian Therapist, but that wasn't what was most interesting. Down in his specializations, buried beneath substance abuse & cognitive behavioral therapy was a word that caught my eye: licensed Hypnotherapist.

I knew exactly what kind of bullshit they were tryin' to pull on me. But when I was enrolled at U Miami, my major was Psychology. Not only that, but I still happened to have access to the university library. Oops.

I texted Sammy, knowing I was gonna be up all night doing research, and that my dick would need some appropriate attention under the desk. I was gonna show this motherfucker just how sick it really is to be like me.

---

The waiting room was bullshit. Cold white walls, bright wood floors... It looked straight out of an IKEA ad. I'd already been there for like 20 minutes past my appointment time, giving me just enough time to scroll through the last chapter on my phone. I hear the receptionist call out my name, and I head toward the office. Just as bullshit as the waiting room. It's like the guy wants to live in a psych ward- no color anywhere. At least get a blacklight or something.

"Santiago Rivera. Welcome, I'm Dr. Fabrega." The guy was hot as fuck, not gonna lie. Looked like he was straight out of Sao Paulo- even with the fancy suit you can't hide muscle like that. "Please, sit. It's so good to meet you." His voice was so weird. Speaking every word with like, perfect diction. You know those AI voices that talk that way? That's what it was like, as if he were trying so hard to hide an accent underneath.

"Just call me Santi, doc." I plopped down on the leather chair, might have put my feet up on his coffee table (don't recall), and he just looked at me like he was looking in a microscope. No idea what the deal was. He walked over to the couch and sat down with my file and started to drone on.

"Alright, Santi, it says here that your parents are pretty concerned about your behavior lately. You're 23 years old and a college dropout, you take illicit drugs, you have no job, and you're having unnatural thoughts. That's quite the list, bud." He was so fuckin smug, that sort of punchable glibness that only comes from a particular kind of self righteousness. Like Jesus himself came down and kissed them.

"So, first off. I did drop out of college, because I couldn't afford it. Second, I sure the fuck do smoke green because it's a) fun, and b) prescribed to me by my real doctor. Third, I do have a job. I do graphic design and graffiti art and I pay my own bills with it. And last off, yup: I fucked him." He sat there, somehow shocked that I told him how it was right off the bat. I'm not playing his little game, and that made him angry.

"I see. So you have no remorse for any of this? I believe your parents are very right to be concerned about where your life is headed."

"Fascinating, considering I'm moving out at the end of the month and they won't need to deal with my life. So. You married?" He was thrown off by that, just as I'd hoped. Right out of the blue. Knocks them off kilter for a second. An easy question to answer, so they usually do.

"Uh, well, no I'm not married. Is that your concern in all this?" Man, I couldn't help but laugh. He's trying to be sarcastic?

"Where did ya go to school for... whatever this is." This made him close my file, he even put it on the table and crossed his arms.

"I went to Liberty University, top of my class in their Doctor of Psychology program. You, it seems didn't make it that far, so you might not know what 'this' is." Oooh, he's big mad. I thought, let's push it. I did what most of my guys love, but would piss him off, I kicked off the Vans. Made sure I wore my skating shoes that day, the super ripe ones with the same damp socks. When they came off, those puppies let their presence be known.

"Sounds boring. Boring then, boring now. I got accepted into the Art Institute in Savannah, so I'll be headed that way soon. Be legit soon, then you wouldn't have anything to say. How's your sex life?" He thought he was so tough, not flinching at the musk, nor my question. But I knew both hit him right where I wanted. The question to make him mad, the stink to get him hot.

"Santiago, I think we should continue with our session. You can put your shoes back on and we can try some exercises to help you think a bit more clearly." I crossed my ankles, wriggling my toes a bit.

"I think they need some air. Are you gonna try and hypnotize me now? Or is that the last ditch effort when everything else fails?" He leaned back in his seat, the grimace growing stronger. "That stuff is not that hard to master. A couple days really and you got it down."

"Is that so?" He ground his teeth as he spat out his words. "It seems you know all there is to know, then." Time to hit it home.

"You know what, let's put money on it, doc. Hundred bucks says I can put you under." I got him, his eyebrow shifted just enough for me to see.

"This isn't a casino, Santiago. I don't bet money on client's health." I couldn't help but smirk. He left an opening I couldn't pass up.

"Aight, no money then. If I put you under, I get the bragging rights. If I don't, I'll play your stupid games. Win-win for you, nothing to lose but your dignity." Hook, line and sinker; he leaned in, grabbing the remote on the table next to him. He tapped a button, and the shades started to come down.

"Well then, Mr. Rivera. I wish you luck."

The room got dark. Really fuckin' dark. Fabrega hit another button on the remote, and a cool blue washed over the room. Gotta say, tight LED system. I kicked my shoes off the table, and scooted my chair forward. Showtime.

"Alright, Santana, I want you to just take deep breaths." He squirmed at my use of his first name, one last dig before I brain fucked him. He took his deep breaths one at a time, slowly getting deeper and deeper. "As I count down from one to ten, each number will bring you closer and closer to relaxation. Picture a long tunnel, at the end, a bright white light. With every number, you take a step forward to the light, do you understand?"

He nodded, it was an induction I'd made up this morning. I started from 10, telling him his first step he could feel the tingling relaxation in the tips of his fingers, slowly crawling up his hands and forearms. 9. Another step, the tingling creeps up his big muscly arms and shoulders. 8. One more step, the tingling is pushing up his neck and throat, reaching his tongue and teeth. 7. The tingling bursts into his head, a paradoxical rush of relaxation, a fog of dissonance washes over his brain as thoughts collide and crash about. 6. The tingling washes down his spine, flowing through his nerves into every part of his body. His body feels electric, a painless jolt running throughout him. I watched as he tensed up, his big muscles contracting and bunching him up. It was working.

We get to 5, starting at the crown of his head, the volts decrease, turning lugubrious and liquified like molasses sloshing about in his head. 4. The light is so close he can feel the heat, but his body is cooled as the syrupy fluid flows down over him like a waterfall, pooling in his big feet as it fills every crevice. 3. It feels as if he's trudging through mud toward the light, his legs feeling wobbly and gelatinous. 2. So close, his whole body feels like a massless blob, inching toward the final drop into the cavernous light. 1. He crawls toward the ledge, plummeting down into the endless void of bright white light. There, he will sit as I have a little bit of fun.

"Alright, Santana. Can you hear me in there?" Fabrega nods, expressionless. Fuck, that was maybe a 80/20 chance I was gonna fuck this shit up so bad. But I guess God really is on my side here. "Whenever I ask a question, you will answer truthfully. Whatever I say you will incorporate into your life. Now, Santana, what do you do when you're not at work?" His lips moved slowly and replied in monotone.

"I go to the gym, I go to the golf course, I hire my date, and I go home." Ooooh shit. He's giving my friends on the corners a decent living, good for him. Hardly a Godly thing to do. Either way, it was a perfect place to start.

"You love going to the gym, don't you, Santana?" He nodded. "You love gettin' all sweaty don't you?" His head began to shake, his expression furrowing a bit in disgust. "No, Santana. You love getting all sweaty. The feeling of those cool droplets on your hot muscles during a hard workout? Doesn't it feel good?" He pauses, before reluctantly nodding. Ahh I love gettin my fingers in his brain, never ceases to please. "You love that funk that comes off your sweat, Santana. You love sniffin your pits, your big feet, your balls... That musk means you're workin' hard. Keeping in shape. Staying virile. Isn't that right?" He nodded, squirming in the chair. I watched his body try to reject the instructions, try to rebel, but just one repetition had his back to stillness.

"You don't even like golf, do you?" He nodded, I didn't even need to manipulate him. "You much prefer hitting the beach, don't you? Seein' all the guys and gals starin' at your glorious bod... You love it, don't you?" He nodded, the side of his lip curling ever so slightly. "You love bringing out the speedo, letting the goods hang low, letting the buns bulge... you know they all wanna see it anyway..." He nodded again, it was like taking candy from a baby. The guy had the mental fortitude of a frog.

"You like fucking, too. You can have any girl or guy on the street with a single wink." He nodded, and I couldn't help but watch as his groin started to bulge. "Yeah, boy. You love taking that horse cock and plowing it into some ass... plowing it into some pussy... fucking their pretty little mouths..." Drool started to drip from the corner of his lip, and a little wet spot quickly appeared on his pants. "You're a freak, aren't you, Santana? You like fuckin' in the car, in the sauna, at the gym, under the desk... gushing gallons into them while you shove your sneaker on their face." He was moaning, slowly grinding against the open air. Can't lie, I was gropin' myself a bit just watching him.

"Now, Santana. I'm going to bring you back to your office, but when I do, you are going to be super laid back and chill with Santi during your sessions. If he says the word 'sniff' you will return to this space, return to an open mind, just as we have done here today. Do you understand?" He nodded one final time before I began his emergence. Counting back from one to ten, I watched as he slowly came back to the real world, and with one snap, he blinked his eyes and wiped his brow.

"Well, doc. I got the bragging rights." Fabrega pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he had a headache. Time to see if it had all paid off.

"Uhh... yeah... Santi. You got me there..." Perfect. He pulled his hand away from his nose, clicking the shades back up to their little hole. It didn't take long until he saw the wet patch on his bulbous package. He chuckled under his breath. "You'll have to excuse the mess, Santi... I have hyperspermia, so sometimes it all just flows out." Hot- and totally unprofessional. Just how I like 'em. I leaned back in my chair, smirkin' the whole way.

"Damn, doc. Firehose down there. Gonna have to show me sometime." He smirked and waved me off.

"I don't fraternize with clients, Santi. Oh, look at the time. I'm late for my 5:30. Alright, I'll see you next week." He stood up, extending his hand, his whole demeanor entirely changed. I slipped my Vans back on, spitting on my hand before gripping his. He shuddered a bit, sure. But we were gonna get real close, real quick.

---

The next few days flew by. My folks were so excited to see that I was looking forward to seeing Dr. Fabrega, and I loved knowing what they didn't. I was excited to see if Dr. Fabrega was gonna be Santana. So when I finally got back in for my appointment, I didn't need to wait long at all. Only five minutes and the door swung open, the receptionist completely flustered. The anticipation was killing me. She sat down behind her computer with tunnel vision and I walked into the office.

At first, I thought it was empty. He wasn't sitting at his desk, on the couch... but as I heard huffing from the balcony, I knew where to find him. I walked up to the sliding glass door, and turned outside to see one hell of a sight.

It was Santana. Nothing on but his whitie-tighties and his damp socks doing pushups on the bench. Fuck, those muscles were glistening in the light, his underwear with damp patches on his ass and bulge. His clothes sat in a pile near his head: jeans, a Miami Heat jersey, some sick dunks I wanted to steal... far from the stuffy suit he had on just the week before. He finally noticed me, and smiled.

"Santi! Hey! Just finishing up my lunch workout. Thought I'd get a session in today on the balcony. Damn, the fresh air is good for exercise!" I smirked. It was night and day. So far, gone was the bible thumping hypocrite, and here was what was underneath. If anything I was doing him a service.

"Shit, Santana! You're looking prime today. You gonna funk out our session today, or?" I punched him in the shoulder, and he giggled like a kid.

"It's eau naturale, my friend. Natural water. That's what it smells like." He slipped on his jeans and his big fuckin' sneakers, tossing the jersey over his head while we walked in. He trailed some deliciously ripe musk, and I couldn't help but savor a bit of it. We plopped down on our seats, and just started shootin' shit. I bitched about the parents, he bitched about his receptionist, I told him about Sammy suckin' my dick clean, and he told me about the threesome with a gym bro and his girlfriend. He was coming along beautifully. Though, I thought to myself, how's about a round two?

"Dude, by the way, those kicks are fuckin' tight." I pointed to the dunks, which he smugly kicked up onto the coffee table, showing them off.

"Thanks, man. They're the lifting shoes. My work boots, heh." I reached out, grabbing ahold of his foot, and yanked it off. He chuckled like a fuckin' idiot while I looked at 'em. Size 13, nice and big- and the smell wafting out of there... Fuck, man.

"Damn, dude you never wash your socks? These stink!" I playfully tossed the shoe at him, and just as he started to brush off the comment, I said my magic word. "Sniff it." Like a flipped lightswitch, his expression turned numb, slowly bringing the shoe to his nose and inhaling his own musk. I clapped my hands, rubbing them together: let's do a little more programming.

"Santana, You're a pretty chill guy, you know that?" He nodded. "You smoke, don't you? You know, the good shit?" Deep in his mind, he had to know it was me talking at this point, so I was talking to him like a bro. Establishes trust, ya know? He shook his head no. "Ahh, come on man. You love kickin' back and toking on that reefer after a long workout." Santana chuckled a bit, before nodding, still nose deep in his sneaker. "Yeah, you love smokin' out your bros, your babes... when you're not shootin' tequila!" He full out laughed on that one, nodding along. The sneaker slowly dropped from his hand, and he laid back in his chair.

"How old are you, Santana?"

"28." Shit, he was only a few years older than me. I mean, he looked young. But hell, you wouldn't have known it from the way he acted.

"Where are you from?" "Rio de Janeiro." Interesting. I clocked the accent. I was pretty proud of myself.

"Why do you try so hard to hide it? The way you talk, the way you dress, the way you act... You act like you're from Ohio." Another chuckle, I should have had a Netflix special. "You're gonna embrace that Brazilian pride, bro. Don't hide it for some mayo drinking buzzkills!" He furrowed his brow, nodding intently. This one was for his own fuckin' good. Be proud of that shit! "You should get some ink to really embrace it. Nothin' sexier than a tatted up stud, am I right?" He nodded again, his bulge once more springing to life. I smirked, simply wanting to know a little something somethin'.

"Do you think Santi is hot?" He sat there for a second, before slowly smiling and nodding. I didn't even need to program that one. Aww, big old himbo. "You're not afraid to let him know, are ya? I mean if you tell his crazy fuckin' parents that he's cured... He wouldn't be your patient anymore... Right?" His bulge twitched again, and he smirked devilishly as he nodded. "You like it when he's all up in your brain, don't you? You like it when he gets his dick deep in there and mind fucks you into a chill, laid back stud. Don't ya?" The dampness grew and his breath got heavy. He nodded, drooling down the sides of his cheeks. "Yeah, you wanna let him in completely, don't ya? Make you like him?" Moans grew, and his thrusting in the air quickened pace. "You wanna be best bros with him, don't ya? Bros with benefits... hangin' out, smokin' weed, hittin' the clubs, swappin' spit... swappin' cum... swappin' subs..." He started fuckin' howl. He was beggin' to splurge. "When I tell you, you will cum. And when you do, everything we talked about will be your truth. Now... Cum."

His eyes opened, still moaning loudly. He gripped onto his jeans, pulling down the waistband and underwear, that big old uncut donkey dick flopping out before shooting his load all over himself. Volley after volley. He wasn't kidding about the hyperspermia: maybe four double shots of his spunk sprayed like a geyser into the air. The 8th Natural Wonder of the World. He laid back and chuckled, throwing his arms behind his head.

"Fuck, brother!" The thickest accent flowed of those lips, deliciously thick. "After today, that'll be down your throat, cara." He pointed at me, hopping to his feet and shoving his python back into his pants. "So, I'll write your discharge papers, it'll get the pais off your back. Act the part until you're out, and just go live." Fuck yeah, we high fived, and I ruffled that sweaty mullet of his. "Hey, come over tonight. I got some friends comin' over... if you and Sammy wanna join." He winked and slapped my back. Damn, I did good.

"I'll be there, man! You save me a round so I can show you how to clean this dick." I groped my bulge, smirking as his bit his lip and winked. I've created a monster.

---

"Ei, sexy! Come get a toke before it's gone!" Such a demanding little bitch, I love him. I slipped his filled condom off my cock, the kinky fucker insisted, and I happily complied. If I'm being real, this psycho has taught me things! I flushed it down the toilet, and swung the bathroom door open to see him lounging on his bed, toking away at the blunt I packed.

"Hey you fuckin' hog, don't you smoke it all!" He chuckled dumbly, reaching over to hand me the blunt, taking the opportunity to snatch my wrist and pull me forward into a kiss. Fuck those lips were so good, pressed against mine or around my cock. "Isn't Carrie coming over soon? You gonna be able to get off so quick?" I pushed away, taking my puff.

"Ahh, plenty to go around, eh?" He groped that musky bulge that I had a feeling Sammy would be huffing later. "Ey, bring me my pants. We can go get a shot before she gets here." Heh, the last month or so crashing with him has been fuckin' sick. The folks think I'm rooming with some guy from the church, when really I'm gooning with my therapist every night in his bed. Savannah is letting me take online courses, I'll have my B.A. in a couple of years, and I'm already getting some gallery hits. Santana is gonna be my armcandy for the opening, and I told him to forget his deodorant. Fuck he’s perfect. But a thought had crept in my head the other day. One last program, one final idea planted in his head... Though, at this point, there was no need to put him under. I'd just ask him.

"Hey, so I gotta go to Georgia to finish up some paperwork at the school. It got me thinking... I'm followin' my dream. What about you?" I tossed him his pants and passed the blunt, taking a deep whiff of those ripe dunks before throwing them his way too.

"I could go back to the practice, though I think the bible thumpers would lose their minds, heh."

"Well... What we did for eachother... What if you did it for others?" I slowly got down to my knees, a smirk crawling across my face. "What if you could help those poor... misguided young men change their lives?" I crawled toward him, spreading his legs wide as I tossed his legs over my shoulders. "Wouldn't that be so... so... fun?" I slowly pulled down his musky briefs, releasing his monstrous cock again, the musky hooded beast slapping me on my cheek. "Then, we could have so... many... new.. friends..." I pulled down his slimy hood and wrapped my lips around his tip. I should have known better. His hand grabbed the back of my head, slamming it down onto his spear, my nose buried in his bush as he thrust back and forth into my mouth.

"Unff... Yeah, brother... Oh yeah... That sounds like a good... unhhhhh... good idea." Grunting, slapping, moaning, slurping... it all rang out in his room, until he gushed another thick load down my throat. "You wanna join me?" And in that moment, I smiled. It was the best idea he'd had yet.

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

One Step, Not Much but It Said Enough

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Farm/Prison

Warnings: None

Summary: Someone had to make a move. In the end, it was neither of you.

A/N: First November request. It can be found here.

*gif is not mine

You pushed your glasses up on your nose for the umpteenth time in less than half an hour, cursing yourself for never checking with your optometrist about contact lenses before the world went to shit. Not like you would have known to buy a lifetime supply because the dead were going to rise up and eat the living. Oh well. 

You didn’t dislike your spectacles. You actually enjoyed having them. You used to pick out the snazziest frames you could find that meshed well with your personality. Still, having glasses in the apocalypse wasn’t easy, by a long shot. 

Especially now, when you were trying to set up the perimeter line and it was a million degrees outside, the sweat accumulating on your skin making your frames slide down. It was actually rather infuriating. 

You were tying off a line when a shadow loomed over the string in your hands. “Here.” Before you could look up, a sunhat was placed on your head. You reached up to adjust it before leaning back to meet Daryl’s eyes. “S’one’a Carol’s.” He motioned toward the hat as he crouched on the other side of your line. 

“Thanks.” You mumbled, hoping he’d credit the sun for the rosy coloring of your cheeks. You suddenly felt unsure of your work and hesitated to continue while he watched. 

“G’on.” He encouraged, chewing on a blade of grass while those blue eyes flitted between you and the string of cans. You took a deep breath and carried on, soon becoming lost in your work as you moved from sector to sector. The hat did help, but eventually, you found the frames teetering on the end of your nose once again. 

“Damn glasses!” You didn’t even bother to adjust them, simply sitting back on your heels with a pout. Daryl had followed you, having already done his hunting for the day. You weren’t really sure why he was hanging around. His presence never bothered you but did make you increasingly nervous. The man was attractive and, though he’d fight hard to never admit it, he had a huge heart. 

“What ‘bout ‘em?” He looked up from cleaning his bolts, tilting his head when he noticed your adorable pout. He laughed in the form of an exhale through his nose and leaned forward, using his middle finger to push your glasses back to their rightful place. “They suit ya.”

“Yeah.” You agreed, blinking at him with wide eyes. It wasn’t until his brows drew inward and he began to smirk that you realized you had been staring at him for far longer than necessary. There was a noise akin to a squeak when you quickly went back to work and tied off the last of the perimeter. “Done!”

“‘Bout time.” The archer drawled, already standing next to you. “Ya hungry?” He was holding out a hand to help you to your feet but you just couldn’t seem to make your body function. “S’a hand. How it works is ya put yours in mine an’ I pull ya up.” You suddenly deadpanned at his his version of a grin. “C’mon, now. Carl gets there first an’ there’ll be none left for us.”

You took his hand and let him pull you to your feet. “Thanks.” He hummed in reply, falling in step beside you. You walked quietly back to the fire and your friends, about to branch away from him when you felt his hand on your arm. 

“Hey, um—” You looked up just in time to see him look back from gazing at something behind you but he kept speaking before you could turn to investigate. “Y’wanna go with me tomorrow? Huntin’, I mean.”

You knew how your face lit up, there was absolutely zero hiding it. You had always wanted to go with him. Honestly, you wanted to go anywhere with him. You felt like a middle schooler with a crush. Embarrassing. Regardless, the fact the he had invited you after spending all afternoon watching you string up cans between trees made your heart beat just a little faster. 

“Hell yeah, I’d love to! I mean, as long as I won’t be in your way.”

“Ya won’t be. M’gonna teach ya.”

Your jaw gaped. “Really? You mean it?”

Poor Daryl just looked confused. “Wouldn’a said it if I didn’t.” 

You just managed to stop yourself from diving in for a hug. “I’m looking forward to it.” You smiled, tilting your head when you noticed the slight flush on his cheeks. He scratched at the back of his neck and nodded. 

“Good. We’ll be leavin’ ‘fore first light so get some sleep.”

You nodded and watched him walk away, apparently forgetting that he didn’t eat. You chuckled to yourself, pushing your glasses up yet again but not at all bothered by it this time. When you turned, you barely caught the knowing smile that Carol wore before it faded and she went back to eating. You removed the hat Daryl had brought you, looking at it with narrowed eyes, then to where Daryl had disappeared, then to Carol, then back to the hat. Suddenly, it all made perfect sense. 

Well played, Carol. Well played. 

[burr-ell]

A Not-Necessarily-Exhaustive List of Good Moments from C1 1-27:

"I have an intelligence of 6, I know what I'm doing"

"We're here to right wrongs, and right lefts—" "And write comment cards"

Tiberius Kraghammer

Clarota

"We'll explain later. You're on the roof of Osama bin Laden's house"

"We'll be taking your weapons, your armor, and I believe your pride"

Percy making the first trick arrows for Vex after a shopkeep was a dick to her about arrows, which is canonically when she began to fall for him

Keyleth killing that one duergar from the TLOVM flashback

"I encourage violence"

Lady Kima being freed and then pulverizing the corpse of the duergar who'd been torturing her

Matt's fucked up body horror monsters

Scanlan taking a dump on a bed for the first time

Pike's crisis of faith when she slits a duergar's throat with her mace and her holy symbol breaks

When the limited T-shirt run went live and then sold out before Marisha could finish reading the announcement

Vax getting his foot burned off in lava

Scanlan the Kingslayer

"Can I use my Luck feat for this?" "You don't have any feet left"

Kima and Keyleth's argument (it was good, haters eat my shorts)

The origin of The Cube

"I'm Vax that's Vex ->" "I'm Vex that's Vax <-"

"Screw you, I want my final words with you to be indignant and irritated!"

"He has three-quarters cover" "I ignore three-quarters cover :)" "...then fuckin' fire!"

"Some people have no sense of fucking honor!"

Travis's notes that just say "I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota"

Percy reacting to the Briarwoods being namedropped during a council meeting

Meeting Gilmore on-stream for the first time

The Belt of Dwarvenkind and Grog's obsessive attempts to grow a beard

Scanlan's blue-shit-scrying potion

Grog "Philip" Strongjaw vs Kern

Vax giving Minxie!Keyleth a belly rub

The hydra fight and the beef with the Slayer's Take

Episodes 18 and 19, in their entirety, but specifically:

Zahra and Vex's initial rivalry-turned-friendship-turned-"I have a crush on Zahra"

Lyra. She's just. so much. idk of what but she is it

"I'm wearing the pajamas with the buttflap and the buttflap is down. The buttflap is DOWN"

Scanlan introducing himself to Rimefang as Burt Reynolds and then Matt, in his scary dragon voice, calling him "Burt"

"I'm sorry, I'm a genius, I'm sorry! Oh, god I'm clever!"

Zahra killing Rimefang

Percy and Vex working together on a history check (it's important To Me)

Wil Wheaton rolling five Nat 1s. In one session

Keyleth and Vax posing as a married couple to get information

Kash insight-checking Thorbir, believing he has to be actively sabotaging them because no one could possibly be that bad at their job (he's not, he really is just that unlucky)

Wil, playing a dwarven fighter, finally rolling a nat 20...for an insight check

The magic carpet losing its enchantment in a pit of acid and Laura's scream of horror from offscreen

"Rakshasaaaaaaa!" -jazz hands-

Kashaw and Keyleth, which was thankfully reworked in TLOVM but was also hilarious

Vex exasperatedly kissing Grog, portrayed by Laura kissing a bewildered Travis

Tyriok the cartographer

Grog, the Vasselheim merchant, and the first and only time Vex started beef with a retailer

Keyleth recounting a vision she had of her own death

The Aramente trial in Pyrah and a cameo from Thordak

Travis getting a medal from a fan for losing to Kern and Matt making it canon

Grog fighting Kern again and winning

Keyleth getting arrested. For the second time in Vasselheim alone

The first appearance of the man. The myth. The Viktor

Kynan's first appearance and Vax's idea of "tough love"

Percy telling his backstory to the party and them immediately affirming their support for him ("You don't have to get involved in this" "Oh, we are SO involved" "You said you wanted 'em dead!") and Taliesin himself being moved to tears over this

Percy creating Diplomacy

Vax and Keyleth bear-sitting Trinket and braiding pink ribbons into his fur

Gilmore finding out Vax wants to see him and teleporting in from half a continent away

Vax shaving half of Grog's beard and Travis breaking a mechanical pencil with one hand

The feast, where Percy actually threatens the Briarwoods to their faces while disguised as Vax

Vax and the Briarwoods. "Gosh you guys are good-looking"

Vax nearly dying and having a vision of the two people he cares about most: Vex and Keyleth

Sylas jumping out the window and doing a perfect 3-point landing...while Delilah blows the athletics check and faceplants in the dirt

"SYLAS"

Vex scoring two crits on Delilah

Tiberius getting Feebleminded

Percy's attack on Desmond. My horrid little skrunkly <3

"YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT! DIE! DIE!" and Keyleth skipping her turn to just stare at Percy

Vox Moochina

Keyleth taking charge to save the ember roc

Keyleth conjuring a water elemental and Taliesin gargling water to translate her commands to it

And finally, the conversation between Keyleth and Percy where he privately confesses his own worries that he's going dark and that he's afraid of himself, and she expresses her concern for him and promises to be there for him

anyway c1 good

[deltaromeo3]

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎..? #2 ⋆ Charles Leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: in which the reader does not recognise the famous Monegasque Formula 1 driver; the very same one that was about to change her perspective on the sport and also her life.

— you can read part 1 & 3 here! : #1 #3

A/N: thank you for all the love on part 1! here’s a part 2!! tbh I got carried away… let me know if i should do a part 3? 🤭

— Warning(s): poorly translated french.

"Will there be a next time?"

You were sitting on the balcony, enjoying the Monaco sun with a book in hand and a cup of ice cold sparkling water on the table.

“Ding!” Your phone rings but you ignored it.

“Ding! Ding! Ding!” Your phone goes off like crazy.

You huffed and place your book down, wondering who the hell would be spamming you at this time of day. It was literally 9 in the morning.

charles_leclerc started following you.

charles_leclerc liked your story.

charles_leclerc liked your post.

charles_leclerc liked your post.

Your eyes widened. You blinked a few times to make sure this was real. Why.. and how the hell did he find your Instagram account?

“Em!” You called out. No response.

“Emma! EMMA!”

“WHAT!” She finally responds and you see her head peek through her room door.

You walked over to her and said nothing, instead just showing her the notification. Her mouth went agape and you could see her jaw almost physically touch the floor.

“Wh-what are you waiting for? Follow him back!”

“What?! Why? I don’t even like F1!”

“Doesn’t matter! He’s hot. J-just do it!”

“Okay okay!”

You decided to follow him back and quickly exit the app, locking your phone.

Your phone dings once again.

charles_leclerc sent you a message.

Shit shit shit!

You gasped.

“Emma. He. Sent. Me. A. DM!”

Emma gasps in response. She quickly rushes over to your side. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Oh. My. God.”

Silence falls between the two of you as you both stood frozen in the living room trying to process the fact that the Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc just sent you a DM.

“Well reply him then! Good god.”

“Last time I was this nervous was when I kissed Andre.”

Emma whips her head towards you, “Wh- you kissed Andre?! When?! How come I don’t know about that?” She shakes her head, “Eh! That’s not the point. Ch-Charles! Reply him!”

You quickly type out a response.

You bite your fingernails out of nervousness waiting for his reply.

“Ding!” Goes your phone.

He sure is a fast replier.

You continued texting him. Long story short, he’s asking you out for brunch. You told Emma about your plans and she jumps with joy, clapping her hands in excitement.

“Ooh someone’s going on a date with Lord Percevallll,” She teases.

“It’s not a date Emma!”

“Mmhmm. Sure.” She smirks at you as she walks away.

You rolled your eyes in response.

You looked at the time, luckily you still had a few hours to prepare before meeting him. And like you always do, you went to the balcony to continue reading your book.

You tried your best to read, but you just couldn’t. You were nervous to say the least, about meeting a very famous Formula 1 driver. God, everyone here adores him. He is everyone’s favourite. Even the goddamn Prince loves him…

You decided to take and a nap, hoping it would help you to relax and not think about it too much. So, you did just that.

Your sleep got disturbed to the sound of Emma calling and shaking you vigorously.

“Wake up! Y/N! WAKE UP!”

“What!”

“Did you forget about brunch? Hurry up and get your ass ready!” She says as she tosses you your towel. You looked at your phone. 1:10pm.

“Merde! I’m late!” You quickly got off your bed and headed straight for the shower.

You got dressed in a simple tank top with high waisted jeans, sprayed on some perfume and accessorised with a necklace and a few rings. You put on your shoes and quickly left the house.

“Have fun! And don’t forget to use protection!” Emma shouts as she closes the door behind her.

You quietly laughed to yourself. It’s just brunch, nothing else.

As soon as you exit your building, you were greeted by a familiar figure. He was standing next to his car, leaning on it. The both of you exchanged smiles as soon as you made eye contact with one another.

Charles was wearing a black tee with light wash jeans.

“So sorry I’m late! I took a nap and ended up oversleeping I-“

He cuts you off. “Mon amour, it’s okay. You’re here now. More than happy to see you.”

Does he call every girl he meets mon amour?

You blush at the nickname. Why were you blushing? God help me please.

You sighed in relief, “Thank you for waiting.”

He smiles softly, “Brunch?”

“Brunch.” You smiled back at him.

He brought you to L’Intempo, which was situated in a hotel by the sea. Of course, he requested for the outdoor seating.

Whilst waiting for your food to be ready, you chit chatted with him. He told you all about his life, how he got into F1 and his career.

“I’ve talked so much about myself. Now you!”

“I just recently moved to Monaco. It’s always been the country of my dreams so I decided to study here! I’m studying Neurosciences in Paris, so it’s nearby!”

“Neuroscience? Like… you study brains?”

You chuckled, “Kinda.. but not really. Ah well, you get the idea. Brains.”

He laughs, “Brains.” The both of you laugh. “Why didn’t you just stay in Paris? Everyone wants to go to Paris.”

“Monaco is smaller. And everyone here is crazy rich so who knows, I might end up marrying a rich man. Won’t have to work so hard, y’know.” You joked.

He laughs again, “Really? Who told you that? Google?”

You nodded and he laughs again, “Yeah, who knows. You may be right.” He smiles.

Your food finally came. You took a pic before eating.

@yourusername posted on their story.

Charles offered you to taste some of his food and even fed you some, and you did the same.

The air was filled with your chatter and laughter and soon enough everything was just background noise.

It felt like you’ve been friends with Charles for so long; conversations flowed easily and there was no awkwardness between the two of you.

After brunch however, he decided to drive you around Monaco since you’ve never properly seen the city. He even drove on the F1 track; the chicanes and road markings were still fairly visible.

You sat quietly in the car, admiring the views of the city. It was one thing to explore Monaco with Emma, but with Charles? It was different; he grew up here so he knew spots tourists didn’t know.

Last but not least, he brought you to the Prince of Monaco’s automobile collection. You wondered why he was so eager to show you a collection that wasn’t his but as soon as you entered the building you understood why. There were many cars, but one car stood out in particular.

You shot him a look. “Ah so this is why you were so excited to bring me here?”

He smiles, “Yes! Look, it’s my car.” He gleams with excitement. “I had my first victory and pole position with this!” He explains. Although you had zero interest in Formula 1, hearing his excitement when he was explaining to you about his car was heartwarming. And so, you listened despite not knowing anything about F1.

You smiled as he was explaining, it was cute. You’ve never seen someone so proud of their achievements.

“That’s so cool! So you gave it to the Prince?”

He nods. “I know it’s in good hands so I’m okay with that.”

It was around 630ish when the “date” (can you call it that?) was over. He drops you off in front of your apartment building. When you wanted to exit the car, you realised Charles was rushing over to your side to open the door for you.

“When you’re with me you don’t open doors! I’ll do it.”He says and you laugh at his antics.

He even walked you to your door.

“I’m kinda sad this is over.” He says.

“Well… me too. I had fun.” You smiled.

He smiles back, “Moi aussi. me too. He pauses. “Y aura-t-il une prochaine fois? Will there be a next time?” He asks.

“Why? Voulez vous qu’il y ait une prochaine fois? Do you want there to be a next time? ”

“Oui. Yes." He shyly admits.

“D’accord. Okay. I’ll see you next time then, Lord Perceval.” You teased him with the nickname. “Text me when you’re homed?”

He chuckles. “D’accord.” He walks off and you take out your keys to unlock the front door, but suddenly you were stopped halfway.

“Here,” He passes you his phone, it was opened to his number pad. “I almost forgot.”

You laughed and keyed in your number. “Ok, I’ll go now.” He waves goodbye and leaves.

You entered your apartment to be greeted by Emma cooking dinner.

“Wow finally. Thought you’d never come home! So, how’s the date?”

“It’s not a date!” You exclaimed.

Emma laughs at your reaction, “Okay, how’s brunch that went on for 5 hours?” She corrects herself.

“Good, we-“ You were interrupted by your phone ringing. It was an unknown number. You answered it, only to be greeted by a familiar voice.

“Hello, it’s Charles. I’m on my way home.”

You chuckled, “Hello, Charles. Are you driving and calling me at the same time?”

“Ye- No! I’m… not.” He lies. “Okay, I am. I just wanted to hear your voice, that’s all.”

You blushed, “Charles… it’s dangerous! Just call me when you’re home okay?”

You hear him giggle, “Okay mon amour. I’ll call you in 10.”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” The line ends.

“I’ll be waiting for youuu,” Emma mocks you, and you cringed, covering your face, asking her to stop. She just replies with laughter. “Glad you had fun with Mr F1 driver. Your wag era is coming soon I can smell it!” She jokes.

“Oh god,” You laughed, walking away to the bathroom to take a shower.

[gay4abby]

hey baby, can i request a jealous jordan li x reader? ❤️

Green Eyed Monster !!

masterlist. requested, yes. warnings, slightly sexual(?). pairings, jordan li x reader. i hope u like this 😭 i wrote this at like 5am

As a Libra, you can’t help it that your charisma is through the roof. It’s what got Jordan snagged up by you in the first place and the exact reason why it’s the bane of their existence. Everybody wants you. Even the ones who don’t even realise it until they meet you. And it’s…not necessarily your fault. It’s not something you can easily turn off and the fact that it puts you in some sticky situations can make you look like an asshole. But, to be clear, telling someone straight forward is your forte. Some people just tend to not listen. Unfortunately for you this time, Jordan was there to see.

The gala was in the middle of its most active period. You were off to the side by the bar, shimmering with silver underneath the light. You were oblivious to your surroundings, nursing a drink that certainly wasn’t appropriate for your drinking age, (you were one year from the big one two, who gives a shit?) but didn’t have a care in the world. Jordan wasn’t feeling the best (fucking parents, am I right?) and he decided to find you so you both can get the hell out of there. It was getting boring anyway. They searched for you, knowing little about where you went off to. And they were getting impatient.

Your drink was about to finish, so you waved your hand for the bartender to give you a refill when you felt someone slide in next to you. At first you didn’t pay any mind, but then you felt as though they were getting a little to close. “Can I help you?” You ask with a light tone. You turned slightly to give them some semblance of eye contact and attention when in reality all you wanted to do was get out of there. It was only a matter of time before you and Jordan were able to do that. “You can help me in more ways than one actually.”

Oh, brother. You rolled your eyes, hoping it wouldn’t be seen by the man trying so desperately to appear slick. On the other side of the room, Jordan had walked away from Marie and Cate after having an almost heartfelt conversation (trauma dump royalty at its finest). They wanted nothing more than to have their hands on you, away from the world after enduring a two hour long engagement with his parents. They always managed to hit the one nerve that Jordan knows will never be accepted, no matter how much therapy they go to as a family.

“Hm, is that so? Why don’t you go ‘head and name ‘em for me,” you sounded bored, but to the guy invading your personal space didn’t seem to catch on. Aloof pest. You drowned out what he had to say after hearing ‘make me feel good,’ not knowing that Jordan had set eyes on you, watching the whole thing unfold. He was seething, their big brown eyes blown as it settled on the man reaching over to place his arm on your chair. Near you. In your space, breathing your air. No, that can’t just do! Long legs began striding towards the pair of you, breathing getting rougher with each step.

The man was about to be in for a very rude awakening. “What do you say we get outta here?”

“And what do you say about me beating the living shit out of you, huh?” Jordan’s voice was stern that it made even you jump a little. It broke through your trance, realising the man was still around and now has to endure the wrath of Jordan Li. The man was taken aback just a bit as his eyes laid on Jordan. They were the same height, but Jordan’s demeanour was as intimidating as they come. Oozing out an authority that required to not be messed with. His jaw ticked, crazed eyes never leaving the man that didn’t seem to get the message of moving away from you.

You turned in your chair, hand immediately meeting the Supe’s forearm and squeezing it as you tried to grab their attention. “Hey, baby. I was wondering where you were,” you said softly, pushing the intruder away from you to stand in front of Jordan. You can tell he was livid and honestly? Nothing turned you on more, but first you must stop them from tearing the persistent man apart.

“Is he bothering you, love?” He spoke without so much as taking his eyes off the offender. Jordan’s body figure was rigid and no amount of force you added was going to make them move. “We were just talking actually, until you interrupted us.” Oh, brave one then? “Is that so? I fucking interrupted you guys? That’s funny. You hear that, babe? I interrupted your fucking conversation.”

You had to deescalate the situation before it got out of hand. “Yeah, haha, that’s so funny. Hey, listen–”

“You think you can just walk up to any random unsuspecting person and think you’re entitled to their time? What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?” Jordan’s eyebrows furrowed, feeling them move closer to the man. “Dude, I don’t want any trouble.”

“Well that’s unfortunate ‘cause I wanna give you trouble!” Jordan yelled, almost knocking you over. You know he probably didn’t mean to, but fuck was he strong. And quite frankly, you’ve had enough. “I think we should–” you were cut off before you could finish, the man squaring his chest and stepping to Jordan. He didn’t know what he was getting himself into, you knowing he wouldn’t last point three seconds in a fight with your partner.

Jordan moved you swiftly to the side before swinging at the man, not even hitting the ground yet before he knocked out. “Jordan!” You exclaimed, pulling them by their arm as they switched to their female form. It was easier to pull her out of the ball room and out of the building as a whole. You were furious, but you couldn’t deny that was really hot. “Jordan, what the fuck!”

“What the fuck? He was flirting with you! I couldn’t just stand there and let that happen!”

“I was barely paying him any mind. As soon as I saw you did I not have my full attention on you?!” You screamed at the top of your lungs you were sure that the passer-by’s were to look in your direction with a crazed look. But it didn’t matter, Jordan just punched someone! “Yes, but that doesn’t matter! He was doing too much I couldn’t let that slide!”

“That’s besides the point, you punched him! You knocked him out!”

“And I’d do it again.” She said sternly. If it didn't make your legs clench, you would've been pissed. More pissed than you are now. Your anger was slowly diminishing, your eyes becoming softer as you look at Jordan. No matter how hard she tried to look tough, their eyes told the whole story to you. It was hard for Jordan to hide their true feelings to you and it was both amazing and annoying at the same time for them. You slowly reached out to grasp at her tiny hands, squeezing them ever so lightly before pulling her closer to you, noses almost touching.

Jordan smiled small, "I know you will, that's the problem," you said with a huge smile on your lips as well. It made you want to eat her right up. You both stood there for awhile not caring about the world around you. Hands intertwined and lips ghost meeting each other every once in awhile. Jordan squeezed your hands back, lifting their head. "Let's go back to my dorm, yeah?" Your eager nod alone had her quickly pulling you away.

[normal-internet-user]

BARRIER PT: 5

♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡

Pt: 4 <-- --> Pt: 1

Summary: Leo is begining to grow increasingly suspicous of Raph's whereabouts every Friday night, so unknown to his red clad brother, he it's high time they met Raphs secret friend...

Warnings: swearing.

Requested: N/A

GN Reader!

....................................

You clicked absentmindly through the job descriptions on your laptop screen. Clicking on one of the many, 'help wanted' posts on the site, you read through the description, before sending in an application.

This is what you had been doing almost all day, scrolling and scrolling, hoping someone would reach out to schedual an interview.

After your dad had shown up at your previous job, you blocked him everywhere you knew you could, and even changed you phone number, being sure to let Raph know so he could still contact you whenever.

The two of you had grown pretty close since the day he came to your aid, messaging and chatting with eachother often.

He still visited you on the rooftop every Friday night, only now the two of you could talk face to face. It was a nice change.

You phone screen lit up, letting know you had received a message. An unknown number. Your heart dropped.

Was it your dad? Impossible. You had done everything you could to cut him from your life, there was no way in hell he found a way to contact you. It could just be a wrong number situation...

You opened the message with shaky hands, and what you read only made you even more uneasy,

Unknown: "Come to the roof."

What the fuck...?

You closed the message, and called Raph, there was no way in hell you were going up there alone.

"Hello?"

"Dude, you are not gonna believe this-"

You told him about the unknown number and the demand to meet whomever they were on the roof, and you heard him groan on the other end.

"Those idiots, I knew they were up to somethin'. Listen, don't go up there quite yet, I'll meet ya on yer fire-escape. Wait for me, ok?"

"Ok, Red. Whatever you say."

The call ended, and you let out a deep breath. Now just the waiting game...

<Raph's POV>

♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡

Where was everybody?

Sensei was meditating, but the other three were nowhere to found. Which was weird. The Lair was way too quiet, and I debated calling Leo, untill my phone rang.

(Name) was calling.

I picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Dude, you are not going to believe this. Some random number just texted me, telling me to go to the roof."

I was silent for a moment, before my brain put two and two together. Those fuckin' idiots.

"Those idiots, I knew they were up to somethin'. Listen, don't go up there quite yet, I'll meet ya on yer fire-escape. Wait for me, ok?"

"Ok, Red. Whatever you say."

I ended the call, and sighed in frustration. These nosy assholes just couldn't mind their buisness. Probably Leo's idea.

But how in the hell did they find out where (Name) lives? Donnie.

"Shit.." I mutter.

That's why Leo went to Donnie last week. He wanted to know where I've been goin'.

After around 15 minutes, I land on (Name)'s fire-escape, then send 'em a quick text to let 'em know I'm here. They open the window, sending a smile my way.

"I take it you know who's on the roof?" They said, following me up the fire-escape.

I sigh, "Yeah. It's my nosy brothers." I reply, now standing on the hard concrete, "Who can't seem TO MIND THEIR OWN BUISNESS!" I shout, making Mikey fall from his hiding place.

"Ouch! Oh- uh, hey- heeyyy, R-Raph! Wassup bro..?"

<Your POV>

♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡

You watch in surprise as Raphs younger brother falls from his place on the water tower.

The orange masked terrapin, whom you guessed was Mikey, looked guiltily at his brother, a nervous smile on his face.

Raph scowled, "I can see you, Leo."

"Welp-"

Two more turtles landed next to Mikey, albeit on their feet instead. The purple one, Donnie, and 'Fearless', as Raph called him, whom you knew was Leo.

Raph stomped over to his older brother, leaving you to stand awkwardly next to the fire-escape.

"Who do you think you are, huh? Trackin' my friend? What was your thought process there, Leo? Because not only, not only did you invade my privacy, but also theirs. They got enough goin' on without you stalkin' 'em!" Raph roughly shoved his brother backwards, and Leo scowled.

"Well maybe if you learned to communicate, I wouldn't have had to." Leo shoved past Raph, walking over to you, and you felt yourself get nervous.

Leo held an air about him. A calm and respectful one. But one that made you nervous, the way he was looking down at you reminded you a little too much of your dad.

Now don't get me wrong, you knew from Raph that Leo was nothing like your old man. He was serious, but still able to let that go and just be. Something your father could never do. But you couldn't help but connect his gaze to the one your father used whenever you were in trouble.

"Hi..." You said, waving awkwardly, "Uh- you must be Leo..."

Leo nodded, still observing you, "And you must be Raphs friend."

You nodded, smiling nervously, "Uh, yeah, I'm (Name)."

Before Leo could say another word, he was shoved to the side by a very exstatic Mikey, "Wassup, dude/tte? Name's Michelangelo!" He then turned to look at Donnie, "I cannot believe Raph was the first one of us to score a lover."

You felt your cheeks go red, "Oh, no! We're not-"

Raph cleared his throat, "Yeah, uh. We're just friends, Mikey."

You nodded, "Yeah, j-just friends."

Mikey moved his gaze between you and Raph. Once. Twice. Three times.

"Alrighty then. Well, this is Donnie!" He said, introducing his purple clad brother, "And you obviously know Raph."

Raph scoffed, "Obviously. Not like I come to see 'em every Friday night. Matter of fact, I have never met this person in my life."

That caused you to let out a laugh, and Raph mouth twitched up into a smile as the sound pulled from your lips.

Leo moved forward once more, hand out stretched for you to shake, "I apologise for the tracking and stuff. Probably a bit over-kill, I was just worried for my family."

You shook his hand and shook your head, "Nah, I get it. Your brother sneaking out every Friday to meet some stranger you don't know? I'd be worried too. Although, yeah the tracking was kinda over-kill.."

Leo nodded, looking sheepish, but he definitly wasn't as intimidating as before.

You cleared your throat, "So, you guys wanna come in?" you asked, motioning towards the fire-escape, "I can order some pizza."

"Hell yeah, Angelcakes!"

"I wouldn't mind some pizza."

"That would be very kind of you, Mx. (Surname)."

You held up a hand in Donnie's direction, "Oh no, none of that Mx. (Surname) shit. Makes me sound ancient."

With that, you lead the four brothers down into your apartment. Mentally preparing yourself for how crazy fucked up your life was about to be.

....................................

I am so so sorry for the for the long wait, I swear I'm working on this series-

@princessmads1820 @leleouwu @dilucsflame33 @pheradream15 @lazyafgurl @allybutton @muamazon4 @push-lennon-off-stage @turtle-babe83 @i-just-like-to-read @lieutenantlashfaz @m1dnyt3-w0lf @bo0tyshak3r9000 @lovelyladylavie @gremlid-the-second @caramelcandykk @phd-in-fuckery @ellie-crow @maladaptiveromantic

Goodness gracious there are so many people to tag now-

[darkdevasofdestruction]

When the Wild Wind Blows ~ Negan Smith x Reader

Summary: A little after Lucille’s death, Negan finds a lone woman who asks to become his companion for the sake of survival the newly-arrived apocalypse. Together, they brave many challenges and their bond tightens, until a hoard separates them for an indefinite amount of time. With both thinking the other dead, they find new groups... Until they find each other once again, in the the midst of war.

They were supposed to go on for the rest of their lives. Isn’t that what they vowed to each other when they got married? That they will be forever together, until death do ‘em part? They should have changed that stupid vow. Something like - Even after death takes ‘em, or something. Anything! Anything that will ensure Lucille doesn’t leave him. He was so angry that she left him like that.

Negan sigh, stroking his bat as he looked into the small fire with dead eyes. He never imagined his life would end up like this. He never imagined his wife, his Lucille, the love of his life... Would die.

He was a prick. A shit head. He cheated on her multiple times, with her best friend no less. He deserved all the worst thing to happen to him - Divine punishment? By fire be purged... Was that how it went? Maybe. He deserved all that. 

But Lucille didn’t deserve all the pain she went through.

She didn’t deserve all the agony HE put her through... The supposed loyal, loving husband... Who was nothing more than an irresponsible piece of shit deadbeat husband who wasted his life away cheating and playing video games. He was the biggest failure in this world, and yet, despite everything, Lucille still stuck by his side, as if he was the one hurt, not her.

He didn’t deserve an angel like her, and he’ll never meet anyone like her ever again.

The news of her terminal diagnostic killed him much before this walker Apocalypse even started... But if these dead fuckers would have just stayed in their graves, his Lucille would have had a chance of survival. Go do her chemo and radiotherapy at the hospital, maybe do the surgery... Everything that needed to be done. And he would be there with her through it all. He knew the nasty side effects of the therapy - He wasn’t going to abandon her again. He mistreated her once - Greatest mistake of his life - But being met with the fatality of the situation, he couldn’t imagine his life going on without her. 

There was no life without Lucille.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ she wrote multiple times on the walls, before killing herself in bed, not before forgetting to keep herself bound and head covered, so she wouldn’t end up hurting him.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ she wanted him to destroy her dead body, to make sure she doesn’t end up as some disfigured dead shell of her former self, going around and killing people who have every chance of living.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ even in death, she wanted him to live... Even without her... Live for her as well.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ even watching him from Heaven, Lucille was cursing him to a life without her body in his arms, without her sweet voice calling out his name, and her hands roaming through his hair... Her honey laugh whenever he’d crack some of his stupid jokes...

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ ... I would never leave you... But Lucille... What about me...? Now it is me, who is all alone, in this vast world... What reason is there to live anymore? There is no life without you... Lucille... Come back to me, please... I miss you so much... I love you so much...

Lucille...

Please don’t leave me like this.

It was always the Sun setting, and the Moon rising up on the sky and the Stars twinkling brightly that it reminded him of all the woes that his shattered heart was feeling. He was so absorbed in his own wallowing and sorrows... It was already a whole month passing, yet the pain didn’t diminish in the slightest. He was so preoccupied with his self-pitying, that he didn’t hear the soft rustle of the bushes, nor the light steps made onto the small twigs and the dead, crunching leaves.

It took a few approaching noises to make him finally snap his lethargic gaze up from the crackling of the burning wood, only to hear the faintest gasp. The was a figure there, hiding behind a tree - How silly. Negan narrowed his eyes to get a better look at the silhouette failing to pathetically to hide behind a tree far slimmer than her own body... But by the way the woman was peeking like a child, and the way her very long hair was swaying with the breeze out of the hiding spot... She must have been very aware of her position.

“Come out. I can see you.” he called out to her, but she merely leaned more to the side. “I know.” her voice sounded timid, yet somehow, it held some kind of... What was it... Defiance? No - He was a teacher, he knew what defiance meant when kids got bratty. It was a sort of confidence that she held, despite her fear of approaching him, almost like a wild animal, starving and seeing food for the first time. “If you know, why are you still hiding?” he asked, propping his bat to the ground and leaning his jaw on the handle. “I’m watching you.” she explained, not budging. “Watching me?” Negan asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “What for? Are you some Myers-level stalker? I’m no babysitter, I assure you... But I did teach kids before. Does that count?” he barked a laugh. “I don’t have a knife. Or a mask. Sorry to ruin your fantasy.” she huffed. “I’m trying to assess whether or not I should approach you.” “And what has your... Assessing concluded?” the corner of his mouth twitched upwards - For once, his mind was being distracted with something other than despair and misery. “... Inconclusive.” she muttered. “I could be dangerous, y’know? I have a bat - And it has barbed wire wrapped around it. One single hit, and you’d be dead. Care to re-assess?” he chuckled, almost villainously. “You have a weapon to defend yourself against walkers and other human enemies alike. Others have machetes. Some have guns... Machine guns... Rifles. Everyone has a weapon. You’re not special.” though her words sounded snarky and insulting, her tone was calm and sincere - She was just awfully blunt, despite how much she looked like a scared little baby fawn. Hilarious. “Do you?” the man was met with silence. “I guess not.” “Whether I tell you or not, I’d still be putting myself to a disadvantage by confirming information about myself. I don’t want to compromise my position.” she explained strategically. “You’re already at a disadvantage. I could both outrun and overpower you. There’s little a weapon would do to aid you.” the girl remained quiet a bit more. “Why did you approach me?” “I...” there goes that previously shy demeanour. “I want to join your group.” “There’s no group to join, darling, sorry to disappoint. Just lil’ ol’ me.” she still nodded. “That’s fine too. Anything is better than being alone.” her declaration stung Negan’s heart bitterly.  “Ain’t wrong with that one.” he muttered, more to himself than to her. “Aren’t you afraid I’d kill you?” she hung her head. “Come closer, let me have a better look at you.” it only made her hide back behind the tree completely. “Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you away like that.” she still didn’t budge. “I won’t hurt you.” “Will you let me join you?” she asked again, still not unveiling herself properly. “Fine, yeah, sure. Like you said - Ain’t so great being alone. Trust me, I’d know.” “Promise.” she sounded demanding, almost harsh even. “Promise? Ha! How childish of you!” he laughed once again, but he noticed the girl didn’t move at all. “What, you really want me to promise? That’s silly. I could easily break the promise anyway, nothing is keeping me from doing that.” still no move. “Why do you want me to promise so badly anyway?” “Because if you promise, then I have a reason to trust you - Then, if you betray me, it means that you broke your promise - Thus, it isn’t my fault that I trusted you, but your fault for being a jerk and breaking your promise to me.” Negan remained quiet for a few seconds, even unable to blink. Though he found some reason behind her words, they sounded like something the little girls he used to teach would say. It seemed to Negan that, with no means of defending herself, and finding him somewhat reasonable, this was her only means of surviving. How adorable. “You’re not really all that smart, are you?” he found himself asking, though without much thinking. “No - In fact, I am smart. I used to be a doctor, I worked hard, studied a lot. I was actually pretty good. Graduated among the top 50 or something. From an academic point of view, I am smart, and I know that. From a wisdom side, I, also, consider myself pretty smart, based on how everyone would come to me for advice.” Negan never expected such a calculated refuting. “But this isn’t the world we were brought up in. No amount of strategy games, apocalypse movies or rational, logical ideas can really guarantee you 100% survival chances.” she voice lowered. “I’m a frail, lone woman, also weaponless and with awful orientation skills. What chances do you think I have to live, even if I make all the stereotypically smart choices? There’s only so much I can run, hide, and live on air alone. The only smart choice I have left is to find someone who still has his humanity intact, at least to some degree, and find a way to stick by their side.” Negan sighed and nodded his head before he waved his hand at her to come over. “Fine, I promise I won’t hurt you. You can join me, do what you want.” how could he doom a young woman to her death by doing something as cruel as rejecting to protect her? He already let the most important person in his life down... Was this his chance to redemption? Was this a sign from Lucille, to keep on going?

Slowly, the young woman snapped her head left and right cautiously, before carefully stepping towards the man - Still weary at first, but she ended up towering over the fire awkwardly. Did she... Did she need some kind of invitation to sit down?  No, wait - From the way her eyes were flickering on high alert to each and every inch of his little camp, she was scanning every little thing - That, and she genuinely seemed socially awkward.

“Thanks.” she muttered. Quickly, Negan extended his hand, showing a seat for her to take, on the stump opposite of his log. She sat down, huddling by the fire. Now, Negan could get a better look at her. Her beautiful, long hair was a mess, but somehow, it worked, giving her a wild beauty look. She had no make up, save for the dirt and sweat caked on her skin and clothes for being away from home for so long. Her clothes were comfortable, but somewhat chic - A pair of jeans, nice on the leg, but not skinny - And she had some kind of charm, hanging from the loops on the waist. She had a simple black shirt and a cardigan over it - It was pretty long, and she used the sleeves to cover her hands entirely. But despite the casual yet still pretty elegant outfit, Negan spotted golden jewellery gracing her neck, fingers and wrists. Golden, with black gems. Did she use to be rich? Or did she just like dolling herself up? Was she on a date when all hell broke loose? 

There was a long silence, with Negan staring uncomfortably long at the girl, and her staring back, a sour look on her face. “I don’t appreciate being stared at. Please stop.” Negan smirked at her. “Can’t blame a man for looking at a pretty woman, can you?” “Yes, I can, and I will. You’re being creepy.” she deadpanned, making the man laugh more. “You’re a real piece of work, aren’t you, doll?” he found himself leaning forward, towards the fire. “Y/N.” she said. “My name is Y/N. Call me that.” though she wasn’t using a demanding, ordering tone, he still felt somehow inclined to do as she said. “Y/N. What a pretty name for a pretty girl.” Negan watched with amusement as she sighed in exasperation. “I haven’t taken a bath in over a month. I’m filthy, and I’m pretty sure that, if walkers could smell, they would all hoard over to tear me apart. No need to continue this whole gimmick of yours, it’s ridiculous and you’re making me uncomfortable.” she ran a hand through her hair, cringing a bit through the tangles. “Have you always been such a joyful presence in your group of friends?” he snarked her, though light hearted. Y/N looked down at the fire, silent. She attempted to open her mouth to speak a few times, before stopping herself. “You never told me your name.” she evaded that question - Did she feel attacked? Or did he hit a sensitive note with that question? “Negan. Name’s Negan.” she nodded at him. He realised that she would often take a few seconds to come up with her answers. Was she always so deeply calculated and serious? She needed to lighten up a bit.

Or maybe this strictly rational and straight woman got send by Lucille, to combat his overly leisure self? Was this a lesson that he had to learn from? “I wasn’t a party person. I’m not the kind to let loose and act like a fool. I know how to have fun - My kind of fun - But I know my limits and where I draw the line.” she shrugged simply. “I get it. I get it, don’t worry. I won’t do that, so you can... Take a step back and chill out a bit. I’ve got this beautiful babe here with me - As dangerous as she’s beautiful, ain’t she? - And she’s gonna keep us both safe. Don’t worry about a thing~!” he raised his bat and patted it on his palm - For a split second, he could see her body tense as she gulped, straightening her back, trying to mask her fear. “That’s... Good. But we’ll need to find some more weapons pretty soon. And other supplies.” as if on cue, her stomach rumbled. Y/N’s eyes widened, before hugging herself and hanging her head down, no doubt blushing in embarrassment. For such a strict and unbending woman, she was easy to embarrass. How cute. Negan grinned at her, before taking some food and throwing it at her. “Must’ve been a while since you last ate, huh?” her hands were trembling softly, holding the food. “Go ahead. I’m giving it to you. Eat. You need to help me scavenge for supplies tomorrow, right?” “Th-Thanks...” she muttered. “Three days.” she said, slowly digging into the food - Small bites, to trick her brain into thinking her stomach is full. “It’s not that long... Sorry for that.” “Don’t apologise, chill a bit.” her hair was getting in the way, and no matter what she did, it would keep draping over her hair like a curtain. It was hilarious, but it was clearly uncomfortable. Negan wanted to laugh at her misfortune - But then, he remembered the little thing that he still had in his pocket. Long before Lucille found out about her cancer, she had the most beautiful, long, blonde hair, and whenever she’d be at home, she’d tie it up. Negan reached into his pants’ pocket and retrieved a black hair tie. It was really, the only thing he had left from Lucille. 

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ don’t worry Lucille. Even if your body isn’t here anymore, you’re still the same kind, helpful soul that you’ve always been. “Here.” stealing a kiss to the hair tie as soon as the woman before him wasn’t looking, he handed the tie for her to take. She looked in awe at him and his kindness, no doubt. “Can’t be fun, eating more dirty hair than food. You’ll end up spitting fur balls like a cat.” “...Thanks...” she muttered, bashfully taking the tie and tying back her hair, revealing her beautiful, yet incredibly exhausted looking visage. She must be dying for a good sleep. What has she gone through, he wondered. “You really don’t need to do me so much good. I have nothing to give you back.” “I’m not asking for anything in return.” he reassured her in a calmer voice. “You must be tired. Go sleep. I’ll keep watch.” Y/N looked at him with a skeptical look. “What, you think I’m going to bash your skull in while you’re sleeping? At least it won’t hurt. Quick death. Better me than those fucks, right?” “No... It’s not that. It’s just... You’ve already been kind enough to me. I should stay watch.” Negan looked her in the eyes for a brief moment - Despite how exhausted she looked and how dirty her face was, her eyes still had a spark of life, and a very beautiful shade.  “Don’t fret so much.” he muttered under his breath.

Y/N looked down and gulped the bit of bread and returned the remaining food to its rightful owner. She looked so awkward, Negan almost felt compelled to laugh at her, but he restrained himself. Instead, he patted her shoulder, urging her to come over and sit on the log, rest her head on his arm and sleep.

It felt uncomfortable for her, truly, but it was far better than laying on the dirty, cold, hard ground to sleep, or tying herself up on a branch and hoping she won’t fall off and end up walker food... Or a pinata. Albeit with a lethargic pace, Y/N ended up complying without another word, and unsurprisingly, as soon as she placed her head on his shoulder, Y/N fell asleep. Poor girl, Negan thought, watching her reach out her hands and gripping his arm, almost as if afraid he’d run away and abandon her, break his promise to her. She looked so vulnerable and afraid, now more than when she was awake. Judging from the way her chest was heaving up and down with ample, rapid motions, and how her fingers and arm joints would occasionally twitch, it was evident she was still very much alert.

Don’t worry, Y/N. I already abandoned someone like you before. I won’t do that again.

Without realising, Negan’s hand found itself caressing her hair slowly, but in a way, he almost felt as though he was trying to calm and sooth himelf, not her. He missed the feeling of touching Lucille’s hair, whenever she’d want to indulge herself, and she nuzzled herself to his side, expecting some pampering. If only things didn’t go to shit so quickly...

Lost in thoughts, the man didn’t hear the sound of twigs breaking - It was a mistake that he had already done once, and though it ended with an inoffensive party member, this time, he will learn that the biggest monsters aren’t the walkers, but the humans themselves.

Y/N jolted up as if electrocuted, and shuffled her feet away from Negan, looking around with wide, alert eyes, to spot the danger incoming. When he tried to speak, she immediately shushed him down. That’s when she saw a woman, afraid, running from the thicket, towards them. She was screaming for help, saying that there were two men trying to assault her or something. Negan was going to tell her to come over, to be protected - Surely, with Lucille in his hands, he could take down two stupid punks, right? Oh, how he hated stupid fuckers like those guys, thinking they could do whatever they want, especially now, in a lawless world.

To his surprise, however, Y/N, who was in a similar situation not long before, stopped the woman from approaching, and even threatened her. Her voice was harsh and awful, it shocked Negan. He was sure she would want to protect someone vulnerable and innocent, just like her.

From the deeper forest, two men, one with a knife, the other, a machete, came down like the huns, ready to chop them down into pieces and eat them for lunch. With great fear on her face, the victim ran towards them - But Y/N immediately threw a well-aimed jab at her face, making her fall down to the ground. “Y/N, what are you doing, she’s the victim!” he asked, looking with concern at her. “She’s as much of a fairy as those guys are. Get your weapon ready, they’re coming.” Y/N warned him - But he was stunned. How could a woman running away from those brutes be evil? The guy with the machete ran towards Y/N. “Well, well, lookie here~ Not only one, but TWO pretty girls to claim tonight~! What a great bounty, ‘aight, bro?” the two had ugly, crude laughs. With no warning, Negan watched in awe as Y/N chopped at his arm with her palm, before she threw a straight uppercut at his jaw, making him stumble backwards. Giving him no time to waste, she ducked down under his weapon arm and clung onto it, breaking the joint and stealing the weapon before decapitating the man. “WHAT THE FUCK?! J-JOHNNY?! Y-YOU FUCKING WHORE, YOU KILLED HIM! I’LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!” like a blind bull, the other offender rushed towards Y/N, and as he tried to slice at her face, she threw herself to the ground, rolling to his feet to trip him - As he stumbled on his feet, and Y/N made him fall on his stomach - She threw herself down on his back and broke his neck, making him fall limp. “I’ll be damned.” Negan grumbled to himself, completely mesmerised by the way a small, frail woman such as Y/N could pull off such neat and accurate combat moves. But unfortunately for him, that was his downfall - Not even once did he expect the victim to actually be one of the culprits, as Y/N so rightfully deduced, and before he knew it, the blonde woman dared touch HIS Lucille, and hold her with shaky hands and threaten him. “DON’T COME ANY CLOSER! Y-YOU! YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED THEM! YOU KILLED THEM BOTH - MY BROTHERS! YOU KILLED THEM!” her voice now sounded so revenge-driven and awful, only to shake like a leaf as soon as she noticed Y/N raise to her feet, covered in the blood of her victims, a knife in one hand, and a machete in the other. “You think someone like you can take that guy down? You can’t even hold the bat. You’re useless - Not only that, you’re useless AND evil. Playing the victim just to bait us... It’s been two months since the Apocalypse started. I’ve seen them all. You’re just a pathetic little girl, that’s what you are. You have made the wrong move. You’re going to die now.” Y/N approached the two with a menacingly slow pace. “Don’t worry, Negan. I’ll protect you.” “STAY BACK! I-I’LL KILL HIM! I SWEAR I WILL!” the blonde shrieked her lungs out, her grip on the bat tightening to the point her skin looked bleach white. “Nah, girl, I don’t think you will.” at once, the man got ahold of his darling weapon and easily wrestled it out of her grip. “You know what they say - Goodnight America.” with one swift move, Negan bashed her skull in, her brains and blood spraying all over the camp. Negan grinned victoriously, as Y/N only scoffed, letting the weapons fall to the ground, her body following soon after. “That was a fiiiine fight you had, doll.” Negan chuckled, kicking the dead woman’s body away. “Didn’t think you had it in ya.” “I... I learnt some MMA. Before all this happened. I, uh... I had to.” she said, trying to even out her breathing. “Had to? What in the world would prompt you to learn MMA, of all things?” he barked in shock and amusement. “...A situation quite like this.” his smile fell immediately. “I know more theory than actual techniques, really. But I practiced Aikido, Silat and Systema. Well... You can make the argument that Aikido and Systema are mostly the same, just that one is Japanese and the other is Russian. But they’re pretty good for my frame. I can at least defend myself, even against jerks with weapons.” though her legs were shaking like two flowers in the spring breeze, she managed to get up and make her way to the fire. “I guess... Even bad things can lead to good ones... If you can even call it that.” “Don’t worry, doll, I won’t make that mistake again.” Negan reassured her, reaching out his hand to wipe away the blood from her face. “How’d you know she was in on it?” “... I didn’t. I just don’t trust anyone.” she mumbled.  “You trust me.” Negan refuted. “You promised.” she said solemnly. “Promises meant nothing before, and they mean even less now.” he argued, but she simply shrugged her shoulders. “Why do you trust me?” “Because you said so.” she said simply.  “That’s not a reason.” Negan gave her a half-smile. “...I told you, didn’t I? I can’t be alone. I’ll die. You’re the only one I have left. Whether you kill me or not, it doesn’t matter. I just don’t want to be alone anymore.” she explained, albeit reticent. “So... It’s not survival you care about, but not being lonely, huh?” she nodded. “Ha. Silly girl.” he snorted, only to see the dead face she had on her face. She almost seemed about to cry. She was too close to her breaking point, he realised. “...You’re not alone anymore.”

With a sigh, Negan felt Lucille slip from his grasp, as his arms wrapped around her body, pulling her into a tight embrace. He could feel he trembling, and her breathing had gotten ragged and uneven. “Go ahead and cry. You must’ve been through a lot. Cry all you want - Get it out of your system. It’ll help you sleep tonight. And in the morning, we can go get supplies and what not.” he reassured her, and at once, she heard the faintest, broken sob, as she buried her head in his chest. Negan guided her back to the log so her weakened legs wouldn’t give out, and he patted her hair, his chin resting on top of her head. He looked down at Lucille - Was this the right thing to do? He wasn’t moving on from her... He still loved Lucille so much... So, so much... He didn’t want to make her jealous anymore... But he was just reassuring a scared, lonely woman, right? Nothing wrong in doing that, considering the terrifying situation they’re in. “I promise I won’t leave you alone, Y/N.” 

Lucille... You will have to forgive me. I’m so lonely... I can’t function properly without you... But I’m so, so lonely without you...  Did you send Y/N to keep me company? To right the wrongs I’ve done to you? Is this my redemption? 

“You act all tough and strong, but you’re really just a little crybaby, Y/N.” Negan muttered in her hair. “But that’s fine. You’re a woman. It’s the man’s job to protect you against monsters of all kind.” what she was feeling, he couldn’t know, and probably never will. But it was fine. He failed his wife once, disregarding her feelings. He won’t make the same mistake again. He let a woman sully her hands, her soul, all to protect him. No more. He was going to be the deadbeat failure of a husband no more. 

Negan is here.

As promised, he allowed her to sleep for as long as she needed, up to the point that she woke up naturally, and felt refreshed. Maybe, at least a little bit. He remembers those studies that claimed a lost night of sleep can be solved with a week of proper amount of sleep - But they couldn’t afford such luxury anymore. Together, they travelled aimlessly through the abandoned city, wondering at how quickly a place can turn so... Dilapidated, as if it hasn’t been inhabited in centuries.

Too many close calls, too many walkers, and far too many dangers. It was dangerous being just two people, but it would have been just as dangerous in a bigger group also. But it was fine - They could live on and thrive together pretty well. They were even able to eat once every two days, and drink good water. 

Weeks passed by weirdly fast - Or at least, they thought those were weeks, not months, based on the amount of times they fell asleep, and remembered to count. Surely, they must have missed a few times, there was only so much they could do, and even the daily routine they tried so hard to cling onto, the last string of hope that kept them associated to humanity, to their old life - Even that was close to breaking.

But the more nights passed, the more conversations at the roasting fire they had. It was the time Negan loved the most, and really, just about the only thing that gave him any joy whatsoever anymore. Even the pain of being torn apart from the love of his life so violently seemed to ameliorate bit by bit, all thanks to the conversations he had with this woman. Somehow, he kept him grounded to real life, and had him going on without any thought of giving up.

Here and there, they talked about their lives before this all happened. Negan felt absolutely humiliated. Not only was he the biggest dead beat in the world, but hearing the woman speak of her hard work and all the sacrifices she’s made to get to the top and achieve the career of her dreams, it felt motivational, but also fatalistic and depressing. All her life, she’s done nothing but study and work, for that one day, when she finds a partner, they can travel the world together and live a beautiful, happy life.

It reminded him of himself with Lucille in a way. He should have worked hard and provided for her too. He should have made her life a beautiful dream, not a nightmare. Should have spoiled her with all the most luxurious gifts, and brought her to all the lush, exotic vacation trips. Alas... All he did was play video games all day. What a pitiful, useless excuse for a man he is.

No, he has to do better. Be better.

Still, no matter how much they talked about their lives, neither of them dared touch the topic of their private life. Family, partner... Nothing. It’s as if they both knew it was such a sensitive topic that they were afraid to touch upon it.

“Hey, Negan, come over. Let’s check this one out.” Y/N motioned for the man to come over as soon as she was able to find a way inside the abandoned house. It still looked decent and fairly well kept, even from the outside. 

The two slowly crept inside - It was rather clean, save for some accumulated dust, and with a single walker inhabiting the home, they decided to make it their temporary residence, for as long as they could, at least. The small house even had running water - Was this a miracle?

Stashed away in the basement, they found a ton of canned food rations, and even water and alcohol of all kinds. They hit the jackpot. After eating some, Y/N went first to take a long and very welcomed bath while Negan stood watch, then they reversed the roles. Thankfully, they even had some nice clothes left behind by the old owners of the house. Fresh as a daisy.

After securing the perimeter, the two sat down in the living room, as per the ritual of having conversations by the fire, yet now, they chatted over a glass of wine and whiskey specifically. The quiet didn’t last long between the two, as Negan, as always, was the one to speak up first. “So, you’re not looking for anyone? No family, no friends - Nothing?” Y/N shook her head. “Come on, really? I don’t believe you.” “Believe what you want.” she shrugged. “I never really had friends. I mean... One of them was an online friend, across the ocean. We’ve never met. The other, well... She was too busy with her own family. We kinda lost touch after a while. It was all me.” he didn’t miss the bitter tone that rolled off her tongue. “Okay, fine, I get that. I didn’t have either. But what about your boyfriend?” she shook her head. “What, didn’t make it?” she shook her head.  “I didn’t have any.” Negan was speechless. “I didn’t want to waste my time on good for nothing men.” that sentence alone seemed to shoot a poisoned arrow through his heart. “In the end... I was wrong in wanting someone good for myself. It’s pitiful.” she scoffed. “What’s the point in working so hard, if you end up miserable anyway?” was this how Lucille felt, having him as her husband? A good for nothing, worthless excuse of a man? She deserved better than this. “N’aww, don’t say that, doll. You’re a fine lady. Beautiful, smart, diligent. Incredibly bad at social interacting.” Y/N let out an amused scoff.  “And what has that helped me with?” Negan remained quiet. “It was just me and my parents, and my dog... But thankfully, my dog died last year. Didn’t have to put the poor old lady through this mess. Mum died of cancer, dad followed soon after, from a broken heart. Left me all alone.” Y/N sighed. “It sucks, you know. You see how much your mum and dad loved each other, but you can’t find someone like that. It’s stupid.” she gulped down the whole wine glass in one go. Negan had his head down - This whole talk turned far more somber than expected. She’s lost as much as he did, and more.  “Lucille was my wife.” he admitted. “She was... The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Smart, charming, charismatic, funny, kind, understanding. Everything anyone could ask for.” he stroked the bat lovingly, flashes of his wife’s smile flashing before his eyes. “She... Was diagnosed with cancer too, a little before the world went to shit. Used to go bring her chemo bags, and wigs in bright colours of all kinds. She was always so cheerful.” after a few seconds of silence, Negan gulped. “On the last run, I found her dead in her bed. She had killed herself. Didn’t want to be a liability to me, as she put it. Silly woman. She was too good for me. She deserved better.” “She loved you, Negan. It doesn’t matter whether she deserved better or not. If you felt she deserved better, you should have done better. But she stayed by your side. She loved you for who you are. You two were happy together. And it’s evident, how much you still love her, even now.” Negan couldn’t help but let out an amused breath - He didn’t have the heart to point out that he cheated on the love of his life and caused her immense misery, when she needed him the most. He couldn’t shatter her dreams of a love written in the stars... Nor did he want to be reminded of the shit mistakes he did. “Well, aren’t you the romantic one.” he tried to divert the conversation to her, rather than himself. “Whatever men you dated in the past, must have been really happy. Poor bastards, didn’t live up to the expectations. Pathetic.” “...I’d... Rather not... Talk about that.” the way her fingers clutched tightly the wine glass, and the grimace on her face, made Negan thing that she didn’t have pink experiences. Life ain’t always sunshine and daisies, even for the nicest of people. “I... Need another drink. Do you want some more whiskey too?” Y/N got up, picking the two glasses after his approval nod, and waltzed into the kitchen. 

From back at the living room, the loud noise of glass breaking echoed. “Negan? You okay?” Y/N called out, pouring the booze and walking back towards the cozy room. There, instead of finding her companion sprawled over the couch, she instead found him kneeling on the ground, blood leaking down his forehead, and a man was holding a gun to his head. “...Oh.” Negan could see the terrified look in her eyes. She really was afraid of men, wasn’t she? Rightfully so. Men are monsters - He knew that best, after all. “Behind you!” he called out - but it was too late. The other culprit had been waiting just around the corner, and his arms wrapped tightly around her body, immobilizing her. The two glasses shattered to the ground as she struggled and clawed her way out, but it was to no avail. No amount of combat techniques could prepare her for getting clinched like that.  “Hahaha, look what fine bounty! Who’d have thought!” the one holding her said, knife to her throat, so deep into her skin that droplets of red inked her down to her shirt, staining everything in its path. “Kill that fucker, and when you’re done, come join the fun.” “NO!” Y/N shouted desperately. “Don’t kill him! P-Please, don’t kill him!” she heaved, careful not to get her neck sliced even more. “I-I’ll do whatever you want! I’ll even show you all our ration, a-and tell you supply centers around the place that haven’t been raided! Just please, don’t kill him!” Both men laughed, ugly, nasty grins on their faces. “Aww, how cute! Lil’ bitch thinks she can order us around~! Ain’t that adorable?” one of them said. “He yo’ husband or what?” neither of the victims said anything. “Haaa, he sure is her lil’ fucktoy! Well! If you love him so much... Might as well give him a little present. We give you a lil’ bastard child, and he gets to hear your sweet little cries. Oh, he’s gonna LOVE it!”  “You speak too much, man. I’ll keep watch. Just go get it over with. Send the bitch over when you’re done. I want her little lover boy to watch as I fuck his pretty, little girl, over and over again.” that one continued with the nasty speech for so long that Negan was sure he could see Y/N fainting, just a little.

Y/N’s struggling came to an end, after the one holding her punched her face hard enough to tame her down, and with one hand buried deep in her hair, he threw her out of the room, and onto the ground, then straddled her waist, bringing her wrists together and binding them with a burning rope, in front of her body. With his knife, he split her shirt in two, followed by the last piece of fabric covering her chest. “I always had a thing for blood, y’know. Red suits you well, pretty bird. Now sing for me a sweet thrill, loud enough for that guy to hear you.”

In his attempt to remove her pants, clumsy as he was, he had to put down the knife and use both hands - It was the perfect opportunity for her to throw her arms around his neck, and using the legs around his waist to shift positions, enough to use the rope and hands to strangle him to death. As he was struggling to breath, Y/N started screaming and pretending to sob - It was the perfect cover, as her breathing was heavy, and her voice broken anyway. When finally, the assailant was unconscious, Y/N quickly took the knife and shoved it in his skull. She then looked down at herself, and though embarrassment was too light a word for the way she was presenting herself, she took off her jeans and hid the knife in the sleeve of her long cardigan, keeping her hands tied.

Meekly, she tripped over her feet, stumbling pitifully, painfully, all an act. Tears were running continuously down her face, and her expression was outright horrified and hopeless. “Awww, look at you! This look suits you better, y’know. C’mon now, get on your knees. Show me what you do to this man to keep him staying with you.” the nasty words the fucker was saying almost went unheard by Negan - All he could focus on was the broken state of the woman he swore to protect, yet failed once again. Once again, he lets down the only person that matters in his life anymore. Lucille was gone... And now... Y/N... He thought they would be safe here, in this house. He let his guard down. He was caught off guard. He couldn’t win with his bat against a gun. 

There was nothing that Negan hated more than men taking advantage of women - He wanted to strangle the life out of this fucker. No, even better. Beat him to death. Bash his skull in. Make him suffer. Rip his dick off and shove his balls down his throat. Anything, for revenge. Anything, to save Y/N from this suffering.

He watched her slowly approaching, her head lowering before the man holding him hostage. Her whole body was trembling violently, but she didn’t go down. She just stood there, so very close to him. “Come on, bitch, get down.” the fucker quickly undid the button of his jeans and zipped them down, then put his hand on her head, gripping a tight fistful of her messy hair, no doubt trying to push her down - But she lunged forward. With a hidden weapon, she stabbed her assailant in the stomach, wide enough to spill his guts out, as if it was a dishonored samurai committing seppuku, only to have his head stabbed also.

“They’re... Really... Not that smart...” Y/N scoffed, stumbling backward and awkwardly cutting the rope holding her wrists together. “Damn, it left burns.” she muttered, staring down at her red, pained skin. As if remembering about his existence, Y/N shifted her gleaming eyes at Negan. “Are you hurt?” she asked, noticing the bound hands, and crouching to liberate him also. “Sorry it took so long. That guy took longer to suffocate than I imagined.” she muttered, turning around, knife slipping from her grasp. “Don’t ask ME if I’m hurt -- Y/N, what the hell, I --” Negan got up to his feet, and looked down at the broken woman standing in front of him. “I’m fine.” she cut him off. “It’s... Not the first time... I’ve dealt with this.” she shrugged, though she tried to appear unbothered, it didn’t work much. “Only this time, I was able to retaliate before anything could happen.” the implication made his head swim, but he had to keep himself grounded and act accordingly. It wasn’t he who needed comfort and help, but her. Though he protected her against hoards of walkers on end... It was still the humans that he couldn’t get a handle on.

Things really had to change, and fast, before another incident such as this happens again. “Come ‘ere, doll. Ain’t no way I’m letting a pretty princess like yourself walk around this dirty house like that.” Negan spoke light-hearted, as he picked her up bridal style... Just like he did to Lucille when he carried her home after their wedding... And he brought her to her room, carefully placing her on the bed. He couldn’t help but steal a glance at her eyes - Wide, surprised, and wet from the tears she spilled. If only he could make any reason that could make her cry disappear. He hated seeing her upset. He wanted to see her smile only. She had a beautiful smile.

Negan opened the wardrobe wide and threw some clothes at her, before going to the bathroom to take the medical kit and wet some towels to take care of her wounds. “It’s... Not that big of a deal, really. You... You don’t... Need to.” she bashfully looked away - She looked so adorable, with those large clothes swallowing her whole. “Stop worrying so much over silly things, doll.” he flashed her one of those charming, dazzling smiles of his. “It’s the least I can do after you’ve saved me. Again.” he said. “I’m pretty shit at keeping you safe, huh. You’d do much better without me.” “Shut up.” she gritted her teeth. “Don’t say that.” she warned. “I don’t...” she hesitated for a little. “I don’t want to go out there, alone. Not again.” “Oh, I’m not complaining about that, doll. In fact, it works well for me, I’d say. Great company is always welcomed.” he didn’t dare try to joke about how pretty she was anymore - Not after the course of filth those two spewed her way. She must have cringed into eternity. Even now, it was obvious how uncomfortable his touch felt. She was going to awkward-herself into an early grave. Still, he couldn’t quite understand why she wouldn’t loosen up around him. Maybe that’s just how she was. Always stern and strict, always cold and guarded, and bound by some impossibly strict personal rules. But it was fine. He liked her just the way she was.  “Uh... Thanks.” she nodded. “I... Also... Like your companionship.” Negan couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re really shit at chatting, y’know that, right?” Y/N nodded pitifully. “But that’s fine. Nothing wrong with that. I’m sociable enough for the both of us. Keep being yourself, and I’ll deal with everything else around, a’ight?” Y/N gave him a small smile, cringing a bit at the stinging sensation of the antiseptic touching her neck wound. “Alright, Negan. I trust your word.” she spoke in a whispery tone. “...Hey, Negan?” she timidly called out his name, as he watched him put the med kit away.  “Yeah, doll?” “Uhm... D-Do you, uhm...” Y/N gulped, her gaze down on the ground. “Do you think that I could... That I could... W-Well...” “Don’t be so afraid of asking me for something, Y/N. I’m not the big bad wolf. I won’t bite you.” he urged her to speak. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” she finally blurted out, surprising the man with her uncharacteristic request. “I... I can’t sleep at night. At all. I keep waking up as soon as I’ve fallen asleep. I have nightmares and panic attacks and... I just... I’m afraid to stay by myself.” so honest, Negan was speechless. The lack of response made Y/N clear her throat. “Sorry, forget I asked, that was childish. You can go sleep now. Goodnight, Negan.” Y/N wanted to claw her face from embarrassment, but finally the man saved her from doing just that. “No, no - Doll, it’s not childish. We’re in hell. Everyone is afraid. I get ya. I’m afraid too, you know? But it’s fine. We’ve got each other, right?” he extended his hand for her to take. With great reticence, Y/N gingerly placed her hand over his, and was guided to his room. After the proper invitation, Y/N went to settle on the large bed, glued to the corner of the room, and huddled against the wall. “Most people fight over the edge-half of the bed.” “I never liked that half. I never felt safe. I could never sleep properly.” she admitted. “Took a while to get used to a bed in the middle of the room, with no protective wall next to it. It was awful.” “So this is a thing from before Hell, huh?” Y/N nodded in shame. “S’okay, don’t be so ashamed of that. Nobody likes being alone, after all. Besides, there’s many fears that lone women have to live with. Can’t blame ya, especially after what just happened.” Negan discarded his jacket on the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. “But you don’t have to fear anymore. For better or for worse, Negan’s here, and I won’t let anyone hurt you again, okay, Y/N?” “...Yeah. That’s right.” she smiled gratefully at him, watching him lay down in bed, before extending his arm towards her, and he looked at her somewhat expectingly, but she had no idea why.  “Come over. I’ll play with your hair. I know you like it.” he urged her. “I’ll even throw a lil’ song for you. Or a story. How’s that sound?” “Skip the story, it will keep me awake. But remember it tomorrow, for coffee.” she dragged herself over, trying not to let her tachycardia known. “Wouldn’t mind the song though.” she said, already feeling her lashes fall onto each other from drowsiness, as his hand worked magic caressing her hair. “Now that’s more like it.” his low chuckle vibrating in his chest sent rumbles to her senses. It was such a soothing resonance, his voice was addicting and so calming. She felt so safe, listening to him, that she had no idea when the song ended, or when it even started, for she fell into a deep, restful sleep. And Negan couldn’t help but watch, her face nuzzled into the crook of his neck, her smaller hand still clutching onto his shirt for reassurance that he wouldn’t just disappear.

Would Lucille be disappointed in him, for moving on so quickly? He’ll still love her - To the end of his existence, and back, so she needn’t be jealous. He’d never cheat again. But... She wasn’t there with him anymore. Y/N was. And Y/N was a good woman. Surely, Lucille would be happy that he was able to find someone that could mend together with perfect sutures his broken heart. Someone that is as broken as he is, just, in different ways. Lucille wouldn’t hate him, would she? Not for this. He deserves all her wrath for all the wrongs he’s done to her - But not for this. He needed this, as much as a man lost in the desert needed a drop of water. It wasn’t easy, attempting to make a move on Y/N without scaring her away. She was like a limping dear, or a starving fox - Wanting to approach, but too afraid to, though she masked it well enough with that proper etiquette facade of hers.

Whether she wanted him as a lover or not, her mere presence was enough, at least. He felt content, even like this. It was fine. It was perfect, just like this. During the day, they’d scavenge around for supplies, and at night, they’d chat until they felt sleepy - And then, they’d go sleep - Together also, now.

But Y/N seemed to have quite the agitated sleep - Was she having a nightmare, Negan wondered. His arms tightened around her body, hoping that, whatever scary thing she was dreaming of, will just disappear, or that at least he will appear there, her knight in shining armor, to rescue her. Instead of calming down, however, small, soft sobs could be heard for just a brief time, before Y/N jolted up with a cry of anguish. Though the room was dark, her trembling outline was shined on by the moonlight. She looked so fragile, so small... So hopeless. 

And then, with desperation, she jumped off and lunged for the bathroom door. Negan could hear the frantic sound of vomiting. Whatever it was she had dreamt of must have caused her great distress. “Doll? May I come in?” he knocked on the half-opened door, but instead of words, he heard a thump, as if she fell to the ground, and more sobs. Though uninvited, Negan opened the door properly, and slowly knelt by her side. “Oh, doll, what the hell did you dream of to make you this afraid?” his voice was uncharacteristically soft and soothing, in a low undertone, to attempt and calm her down. “Talk to me, Y/N.” with careful moves, Negan gathered the woman into his arms and cradled her to his chest, holding her tightly and kissing her hair. “Talk to me.” “I-I... I... I dreamt that y-you... That you left. S-Said that you hate me. C-Can’t... Can’t stand me... Anymore. I-I don’t w-want you to hate me. Or leave me. Please don’t leave me... Not like this... Please don’t leave me like this, Negan.” at once, his body stiffened, and flashes of the painted walls of his house went before his very eyes. Though the connotation was entirely different from what his Lucille meant when she wrote that, those words pained him no less. “I would never leave the person I love so much, Y/N.” he said that to Lucille once, and now, he said it to Y/N. Though the timing couldn’t be any worse, there was no other way he knew how to reassure her - And frankly, he did want to voice his feelings, once and for all, whatever may happen. After all, it wasn’t a lie, he did grow to love Y/N. Though she would never replace Lucille - She didn’t have to. Lucille had her own special spot in his heart, and Y/N has her own. She’s not a replacement, she’s a woman that Negan grew so very fond of. He’s made enough mistakes throughout his life, and he took his wife for granted for far too long a time. He would not make that mistake again. “Do you hear me, Y/N? I won’t leave you. I promise. And even if something happens and we’re separated - Just call out my name, okay? Call out my name, and I’ll be there for you, and I’ll say - Negan’s here! And you’ll flash me that pretty smile of yours, and will run to give me a hug, and say how much you missed me. How’s that sound?” he could feel her sniffling soften out, unlike her fingers, which clutched down even harder on the thin material of his pyjama shirt.  “Y-You... You really love... Someone like me? But I’m pathetic.” her voice was barely above a whisper, yet just enough to convey the brokenness of her heart. “Now, missy, I’ll have you know, I don’t really appreciate people speaking ill of the people I love.” he warned her.  The soft sound of an amused exhale made Negan’s heart make a leap. “You really mean it? You promise you do?” “Trust my words, doll. I never lied to you, and I don’t intend to start now.” carefully laxing his grip on her body, his hands found themselves cupping her face, and wiping away the streaming tears. “I’m not going to leave you alone. I love you, doll.” he leaned down, capturing her lips with his own, in a gentle, loving kiss. Somehow, it felt that, this kiss, the feelings behind it, they all made the dystopian world outside disappear altogether, and normality was back in place. Nothing bad could happen to them - They were protected by a divine aura - or something. “I love you so much, Negan.” she pulled him back into an embrace, and though she didn’t speak loud and clear, as his own declaration, her whispering the confession so dearly into his ear, somehow made it even more intimate.

If only things could remain as innocent and beautiful - It wasn’t possible though. Nobody was safe from the Apocalypse, from the misery and suffering of the world. Less than a month they spent in that house, before a hoard of walkers overrun the area, and Y/N and Negan had to run away, in split directions. They had set a meeting point, back at their spot. Barely a day after being away from each other, Negan returned to the small camp close to the street, and he waited for a whole night also, only to curse loudly and destroy an already broken car with his bat - He had just remembered her shit orientation in space. She could be 10 meters away from this place, and she’d end up going in the opposite direction. Silly girl, how will she survive all by herself out there?! She didn’t even have her cardigan with her, due to the speed with which they had to leave. It was going to get cold soon, and she’ll freeze the night away. How will she survive all alone out there? People and walkers alone were a huge threat, and she behaved like a wounded wild animal. She can’t stay alone. Not her. Not his Y/N. Not his doll. “Y/N!!! DOLL, IT’S NEGAN! COME HERE! NEGAN’S HERE, BABE!!” but no matter how much he tried to call out for her, she just didn’t appear.

Three days passed, and there was no trace of Y/N. Negan was becoming desperate. Y/N must have died by now... Still, if she somehow finds this place, he will leave the zipper hoodie he was wearing underneath his leather jacket. Hopefully, it will be her who finds it, not some other fucker... Or worse, a walker. 

He had to get back out there and live. He promised Lucille, and he promised Y/N too, that no matter what, he will live and carry on, no matter how much it hurt, leaving behind not one, but two women that he grew to love so much. His heart was mended once, only to become ripped and mauled into microscopic pieces once again. Damn it, he shouldn’t have allowed himself to fall in love so easily. Just three months together, and he falls so hard for her... Damn it, doll. Please don’t be dead.

Almost three years passed, and the old Negan was nowhere to be seen - Instead, the boy that was once a highschool bully had returned, and Negan was now the leader of the Saviours, six hundred people, scattered around several outposts. He had lieutenants, he had a right hand, and not enough ‘wives’. On the off-chance that he makes the mistake of accidentally remembering his real past wives, Lucille and Y/N, the idea that some women that are nothing but some pretty faces to warm his bed felt almost uncomfortable. But it was fine. He had no more room for suffering in his body - Killing and fucking was all he had left in this fucked up world. Maybe cursing too - But Y/N always cringed when he’d curse or yell, so he kept himself at bay... For as much as he could.

Now, he didn’t care about anything anymore. Nothing matter, except for his own survival, and the longevity of his group of Saviours. He dominated every community around, and he was the supreme leader, the Caesar at the Colosseum.

For the longest time, there was nobody who dared contest his rule - Almost three whole years, he was the King of the Jungle, overruling even the mighty Lion - Hell, he was above even Zeus himself - And then, those pesky fuckers came over and killed a bunch of his people - Innocent, normal people too, all that while they were asleep. Bullshit. As if he was going to leave that unpunished. Those fuckers were going to pay, tenfold. A hundredfold, at least. Fifty-six of his own people were dead. There will be hell to pay.

That night, Rick’s group was walking through the woods, holding Maggie’s exhausted, sick, and very pregnant body, only to get caught in a trap. From all over the the forest, ominous whistles echoed eerily, creeping them out, alerting them of the enemies they’ve walked into. They had to run the hell away from there before they got caught.

But it was far too late for an escape... They were caught by tens and tens... Or maybe there were a hundred people there, surrounding them? All of them with weapons of all kinds, and even cars. They were forced to give up their weapons, and got to their knees - From other cars, Glenn, Michonne and Daryl, all beaten up, were thrown to the ground also. This ugly guy with a rat instead of a moustache, the one who ordered them around, knocked on the RV and invited someone to come out, as if he was welcoming the Celebrity of the Night, the Guest of Honour, to walk down the red carpet and have his picture taken, in the spotlight.

Negan stepped out - The Man of the Night was ready to instill his revenge on the fuckers who dared cross his path and defy his ultimate authority. To think all of this happened to Rick’s group, because they tried to get to the Hilltop, find a doctor to medicate poor Maggie... Rick looked around, counting the people, only to realise - One of them was missing. Maybe she escaped? Hopefully, she did. At least her - Though, with all of them trapped here, there was little she could do by herself. Or, perhaps she could go and be welcomed, all by herself, to either Alexandria, or the Hilltop. Maybe even the Kingdom? Oceanside? Any community worked.

“Pissed your pants yet?” the man with the bat asked, with a sarcastic, dry chuckle. He meant business. He was a true threat, merely with his presence alone. No doubt, he was the leader of the Survivors, Rick realised quickly. They were screwed. “Boy, do I have a feeling we’re getting close.” he said, finally stepping into the light. He was tall, and well built. Rick knew, even if he were to brawl with him, he’d be at a disadvantage. “Yep.” the man walked across the line the eleven of them made. “Gonna be Pee-Pee-Pants City here real soon.” was he going to bash them all down with that bat of his? “Which one of you pricks is the leader?” he asked.  Simon immediately pointed his nasty, crooked finger at the ex-policeman. “It’s that guy. He’s the one.”  “Hi.” Negan looked down at Rick, lazily stepping in front of him. “You’re Rick, right?” rhetorical, as always. “I’m Negan. And I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people, for killing my people - You killed MORE of my people! NOT cool! Nooot cool! You have no idea how NOT cool that shit is. But! I think you’re gonna be up to speed shortly.” Rick gulped in fear, looking up at the enemy. “Yeah. You’re SO gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes.” he grinned. “Yes, you are~♪.” he said, in a singy voice. “You see, Rick - Whatever you do, no matter what - You don’t mess with the new world order. New world order is this, and it’s really, very simple - So, even if you’re stupid, which you very may well be, you can understand it. You ready? Here it goes, pay attention.” Negan lowered his bat, pointing the end of it to his face, raising it slightly. “Give me your shit, or I will kill you.” he removed the bat, and smiled. “Today was Career Day. We invested a lot, so you would know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me - That’s your job.” Rick couldn’t help but look up, frightened, not for his life, but everyone else’s - Especially Carl’s. “Now, I know there is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow... But swallow it, you most certainly will. You ruled the roost. you built something. You thought you were safe - I get it - But, the word is out. You... Are NOT safe. Not even close. In fact - You are pegged. More pegged, if you don’t do what I want, and what I want is half your shit. And if that’s too much, you can make, find or steal more, and it’ll even out, sooner or later. “ this fucking bastard spoke too much, for what he was worth. “This - Is your way of life now. The more you fight back, the harder it will be. So, if someone knocks on your door, you let us in.” he chuckled. “We OWN that door.” he stated. “You try to stop us, and we will knock it down. You understand?” nobody dared utter even a shaky breath. “What? No answer?” Negan comically approached Rick, his hand to his ear. “You don’t really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished now, did you?” all at once, everyone’s hearts stopped beating. “I don’t want to kill you, people - Just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You CAN’T do that if you’re dead, now, can you?” surely, it can’t be that simple, can it? “I’m not growing a garden... But! You KILLED my people. A whole damn lot of them - More than I’m comfortable with! And for that, you’re gonna pay... So now... I’m gonna beat the holy hell out of one of you.” the resolution had finally come to light. “This - Is Lucille. And SHE is AWESOME.” Negan showed off his bat. “All~ this. ALL this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honour.”

Negan walked from one light to the other, visualising the victims. One of the women was close to crying, and her health looked to be in poor condition. She couldn’t even stay still, kneeling on the ground. The other, a military man, looked up at him with tough, defiant eyes. Intriguing. Then, came a boy with a cowboy had and a bandage over one side of his face. He crouched in front of him, and though the kid tried to stay cool, the fear was obvious on his face. When he went back to look at the crying woman, the Asian had an emotional outburst - It was hilariously pathetic - But he was benevolent! Negan was going to let that one slide, for free! And he had even more fun, pointing his bat back at the kid, once he realised that was Rick’s kid, of all things!

“JUST STOP IT!” Rick growled pitifully.  “HEY! Do NOT make me kill the little, future serial killer. Don’t make it easy on me! I got to pick SOMEBODY! Everybody’s at the table, waiting for me to order.” he started whistling, going back and forth, looking at the people. “I simply cannot decide!” he chuckled. “But I got an idea!” and he started pointing his bat at each and every one of those people. “Eenie- Meenie, Miney, Mo” he’d linger just enough to make everyone have small heart attacks. Seeing them crying, shivering, trembling, desperate, hopeless or even hopeful that they may escape the attack, that another will take the death for them. Something, anything.

People were SO tragic.

“Anybody moves, cut the boy’s other eye out and feed it to his father, and then we’ll start.” Negan ordered, finally picking his unfortunate target. “You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry - Hell, you’re ALL gonna be doing that.” everyone shrieked in horror, watching the victim take the first hit to the head, with all of the enemy’s might. “Oh, ho, wowieee, look at ya, taking it like a champ!” One more, and another, and many, many more, until Abraham’s head was nothing but perfectly minced mush. Everyone was in complete disbelief at the terror they’d just witnessed - It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. It didn’t make sense. Abraham - Dead? No way. Negan stopped destroying the already dead remains that became nothing but a stain of blood on the pebbled ground, and went around, taunting everyone with his bloody bat. Surely, there remained some hanging scraps of Abraham, still dangling from the barbed wire. The last bit of their friend, and it was on the monster’s weapon, no less. “LOOK AT IT!” Negan laughed, watching with sadistic pleasure as Rosita was trembling and sobbing violently - only to stumble backwards, punched in the face by the redneck who was once wrapped in a blanket. He watched as Daryl was being wrestled down by his own people, like an angry, raging bull, and he crouched down, grabbing a fistful of the idiot’s hair. It was the time for another divine punishment. He warned them once - He did, he was nice! He even gave them a freebie! But not anymore. No exceptions. Because of Dixon’s angry outburst, they were, once again, in the free line of fire.

Before he could get a good look at those pathetic fuckers kneeling before him, and choosing another victim, a shrill shriek, feminine, resounded desperately somewhere through the forest. Rick stiffened. Damn it, why now, of all times? Couldn’t she choose a better time to find their location? What’s the use of being directionally impaired, if you’re gonna find the group at the worst possible time ever?

“What was that?” Negan asked, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. “Another... Friend of yours? Did we miss one?” he chuckled, crouching down by Rick’s side - The Policeman was speechless. Though he remained silent, the sound of echoing bullets was getting closer to their location, and rapid footsteps were getting right in the enemy’s trap, like a butterfly caught in the spider’s web. “That was a woman, alright. I know a woman screaming when I hear one.” Negan pointed out. “She pretty?” he smirked. “She your girlfriend, maybe? Is that why you’re quiet?”

As he signaled for Dwight and another one of his bigass brutes to get in position and grab the surprise guest, he heard the rapid breathing - She must have been running for a while now. “Rick!! Hoard -- Hoard coming! They’re coming, Rick!” a hoard, coming over? Good information. Perhaps he might just spare this one, for the sake of her own stupidity. She came over willingly, after all.  “RUN, IT’S A TRAP!” Rick yelled back at her, but it was far to late - The hulking man grabbed her, earning a squeak of surprise - She was held up in the air, only to be forcefully thrown to the ground. “NEGAN!” her soft voice sounded raw as she called out that name, as though she was expecting some kind of God to come over and magically save her. Negan, she said. How did she know that name? 

The party watched their friend’s body roll to the ground, still for a few second, only to unexpectedly jump, and with a masterfully planned trip, she brought down the big guy, and when faced with Dwight’s crossbow, she had her hands up in a sign she gave up, only for them to realise that she had waited for the big guy to get up and rush to her, so that she could swiftly side-stepped the crossbow, get behind Dwight and force him to shoot his ally’s shoulder, while she put a knife to his neck, using him as the perfect human shield.

Negan’s eyes widened in shock and delight, and he whistled, impressed by the woman’s feat. He even applauded. “Well, I’ll be damned! What a masterful performance! I’m impressed - Really, I am! A woman, taking down two of my men like that, with nothing but her bare arms? Ha! I want you for a bodyguard, ma’am! In fact - You remind me of someone very dear to me, y’know? She could pull badass stunts like that.” he then turned to Rick. “Where’d you find such a fine woman, Rick? Were you the one who taught her to say my name like that~?” “Rick... Wh-What’s going on?” unlike the strength and prowess she displayed, her voice was unexpectedly quivering and broken... And awfully familiar. “I’ll tell you what happened, doll - If you let me get a good look at your pretty face. I mean - Not that I can really see you, you know, but I’ve just got this feeling that you’re a real doll, but that messy, big ass hair of yours is getting in the way of my admiring.” Negan chuckled, swinging Lucille around in circle-motions, only to hear the woman gasp, and the knife fell out of her hand. Negan stopped in his tracks, confused by her sudden moment of weakness - Not only that, she even allowed Dwight to get out of her grasp. “Lucille...? Negan...?” the woman spoke out those names, and Negan froze, his mouth slightly agape - Now it all made sense. That large, dirty blue hoodie she was wearing, the one that almost completely swallowed her whole - It was the hoodie that he left for her, years ago. “Y/N...? Now way!” slowly, the woman lifted the hair to reveal her face - It wasn’t as dirty as the first time he met her, but she was just as exhausted, and even more scared, if it was possible. “That’s right - Negan’s here, doll!” he let his bloody weapon hit the ground, extending his arms, and at once, Y/N ran to him, throwing herself into his embrace. “I thought you were dead - This can’t be... Are you, really?! You’re alive?! I’m not dead, am I? Or dreaming?” with a kiss, he shushed her down. “Did that feel real to you, hun?” her blush was still as adorable as always. No doubt, even after so long, she hadn’t gotten over that extreme embarrassment of hers. No matter, it was all fine. She was back. Y/N was really back. “Y-Yeah... B-But, Negan - What’s going on? I-I don’t understand what’s going on.” with one hand, he wiped away the stray tears falling down her pretty face, only to turn her around and hug her from behind, making her see the group. “Were you with them, Y/N?” he rested his chin on her head, and he felt the small motions of a nod. “Y-Yeah. A few weeks after we lost each other, I... I found Rick’s group, and they were nice enough to take me in. Been staying with them ever since.” she explained, confused as why was everyone in such despair. Then, she saw the large splatter of blood, and the familiar, ravished clothes laying there. “N-Negan... Wh-What’s that...?” “That, my dear, used to be one of your group. Too bad - He was a real man, that one. Muscles and all. Took a real one for the team. Or maybe six. Or seven. Or more. I lost count after a while.” he felt her body stiffen up. “Don’t be too upset, now, Y/N - You were the one who taught me how to kill people, weren’t you? Three years ago, when all shit hit the fan? Remember that night, with those guys attacking us? You said - Killing people is fine, as long as you’re defending yourself. And I did just that!” he placed a kiss on her temple. “You see - Rick’s group here - I mean, you might know about it already - But, Rick’s group killed not one, not two, not three - But fifty-six people. MY people. So - Of course, I took that as an act of war, and instilled my revenge. But you know me, Y/N, I’m a merciful man. I only took the life of one of them.” “B-But... There must be a mistake! Everyone - Everyone here... They’re good people! It must be a misunderstanding! Please, let’s not fight each other anymore!” she tried to beg him, only to feel everyone’s eyes fixated on her. “Rick’s people killed my people, doll. And I sent a few others to kill them - But Rick’s group killed them too, and a bunch more! I can’t let that slide unpunished. But it’s fine, really, it is. I want them to work for me now, and they can’t work if they’re dead, right?” Negan explained, chuckling darkly in her ear. “...No way...” she gasped in disbelief. “That means - You’re with the Saviours?” “No, doll, I’m not WITH the Saviours. I am their leader. Of all six hundred of them. More or less. I lost count, and so did Simon. They keep dying, or appearing, now, more than anything, thanks to Rick’s decision of decimating my men.” Negan shot the policeman a triumphant smirk. “...I’ve missed a lot in three years, haven’t I?” she frowned, crestfallen at the realisation. Negan couldn’t help but grin wider, twirling her around, this time, to look at him. He was the supreme leader now, and he was proudly and efficiently responsible for hundreds of lives. He wasn’t that deadbeat fuck anymore. He needn’t protection anymore. He was Negan, and he was out for blood. This was the real Negan. “S-So... You’ve killed Abraham. You said just one of them had to die. Now, what?” “Were you playing us all along?” the unexpected rough voice of Daryl Dixon made Y/N’s head snap at him, her expression was shocked, Negan realised. “Wh-What?! How can you say that - Of course not! I thought he was dead! I have been loyal to the group all this time, I-I’ve gone through all that with you - How can you accuse me of something so awful?!” she was pissed. “Cozying up to the guy who just made porridge out of our friend - And you call yourself loyal to the group?” he sneered at her. “And what would you have me do?! I don’t know what happened - I don’t even know what you guys did, I don’t really know anything, do I?” she refuted immediately. “Abraham’s death is on you, Y/N.” without any warning, the redneck jolted up and grabbed ahold of her hoodie - He tried to attack her, in an impulsive act of revenge, but Negan punched him down easily, while his other lackeys wrestled him down to the ground. “Wait, hooold the fuck up a second - Doesn’t this situation look... Familiar? Hey, Rick, is that what they call a Deja-vu? Well! Excuse the fuck out of my French, but this is sooo fucked up from y’all. You see - I was willing to let even that second outburst slide - After all, Rick, you DID care for my sweet, precious Y/N when I couldn’t, y’know? She means the world to me. I was willing to call that one a mistake too. Buuut ~ ♪! Unfortunately, third time’s the charm. I can’t allow anyone to harm my sweet Y/N. So~ ♪ Y/N, look away and cover your ears. I don’t want you to see more of this.” he gently moved her away. “Back to it.” without any warning or moment of preparation, Negan smashed Glenn’s head. Negan stole a look back at Y/N, and he noticed her whimpering. He felt bad, having to make her be a witness to all this - Alas, nothing could be done, and he completely destroyed the Asian’s head, letting out all the rage, frustration and any existent negative emotions that were bubbling in his heart. “Let’s go home, doll. You must want to take a loooong, warm bath and change into some fresh clothes. Get some good damn food, drink something. Just like old times.” Negan slung his arm around her shoulders, bringing her towards the RV, motioning for Simon to take over and leave those guys be, but neither could ignore the cries and sobs, nor the accusations of betrayal shot her way. Negan just brought her closer to his side and helped her up in the car.

Y/N barely had any power to speak - Instead, she just cuddled into Negan’s side, trying to wipe away the images of blood and gore that her old friends had become... All by the hand of the man she loved so much.

As promised, Negan had someone draw her a nice bath and got her a comfy set of clothes. By the time she was done, she threw herself on the bed, and Negan came over with a tray full of nicely cooked food for her. “You spoil me.” she chuckled breathlessly. “Only the best for my princess.” he gave her a side-smile, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching her eat. “Your hair’s still as much of a mess as before.” Y/N stopped eating. She felt guilty, for some reason. “Forgive me. I lost the tie you gave me.” she muttered. “I... Had a close call once. This guy, he... He grabbed me by the hair. Tried to, well... It doesn’t matter. But I cut my hair with my knife to escape, then killed him too. My hair was... So short and uneven. It was weird. I tried looking for it again, but it was lost in the swamp, so... Yeah. Sorry.” she explained, placing the food back on the tray. “N’aww, s’all cool, doll, don’t worry so much. It was just some hair tie I had around randomly.” he waved his hand at her dismissively. “It was the only thing you had left of your wife.” she muttered. “I know. It wasn’t difficult to figure out. So... Yeah. Sorry, again.” she gulped. “As smart as always.” Negan smirked. “God, I missed you.” he chuckled, still in disbelief that she’s alive. “What’s been going on - Since we parted, I mean.” he looked down for a little, before looking back at her. “Were you alone for long?” She hesitated. “I... Found my way to our spot. After a week. Pathetic, I know. I knew you waited for me... Thanks for the hoodie, by the way. It was very useful, especially during the winter.” she smiled weakly. “So... I went on the road. Two weeks... Or maybe more? I don’t know - But I found Rick and his group. They had just escaped a huge hoard of walkers from the farm they were living at. Many months, we were just on the road. It was... It was awful.” she muttered. “We found a prison. Made a few inmate friends. But it was awful... Not living there, no - Living there was really good actually. It’s just... So many bad guys terrorized us.” she shuddered. “The guy you killed... Glenn... His wife... She used to have two little sisters. Sweet little girls, innocent and giggly.” the woman bit her lip hard. “There was this old guy, a prisoner. He was creepy... Gave me bad vibes, but the women didn’t believe me. Said he was always helpful to them. He... He killed them. He- He decapitated the little girls, Negan! He was crazy!” she said, before she properly removed the hair from her face, showing a nasty scar around her neck. “Almost got me too. Nasty old man. Rick broke his hand, beating him almost to death. Maggie killed him as revenge, in the end.” she shuddered. “It never healed. Ugly scar will never leave.” she muttered pitifully. “Ugly scar, you say? What’s that nonsense.” Negan scoffed. “You’re as beautiful as I remember. You survived. You’re back here, with me. That’s all that matters.” he scolded her, before he pushed the tray a little to the side, getting a better seat on the bed and patting his lap. The way her cheeks flushed was so endearing and adorable, he couldn’t resist. “Come on, doll, don’t be shy. I want to get a better look at my beautiful girl.” reticent and timid, Y/N crawled on his lap, as his arms pulled her against his chest, a kiss on her forehead. “Go on. Negan’s here, no need to be afraid anymore.” he said, his kiss trailing down to her neck, going all the way across the white line that marked her skin. He could feel the soft vibrations of her giggle, as his stubble dragging along the thin, sensitive skin of her neck got tickled involuntarily. It only made Negan grip her body, as he playfully teased her more, just to hear those sweet sounds of hers. He hated hearing her cry all the time. He wanted to only ever see her smile and hear that lovely laugh of hers. “...I called out your name, you know.” through her giggles, the little statement felt so nostalgic and melancholic, that it made Negan stop and slowly retract, to get a better look at her. His heart sunk a little - He had promised to keep her safe so many times... He promised he’d be there whenever she’d call out for him. In that aspect, he failed her. Again. “Every time I was in danger, I called out for you. You never came... I’m not blaming you! I just... I don’t know why I did that. Maybe I just... I just hoped that... Maybe, somehow... You would come out of nowhere.” she admitted - Negan couldn’t help but smile at her - Damn, was she good. “Just like today, huh?” he couldn’t help but feel so smug - Even after three years, the instinct of calling out to him for protection, despite it being her, the protector, most of the time - It was the most endearing thing that Negan’s heard in his entire life. “That was really embarrassing, y’know?” she mumbled, looking away. “But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done. After all... After three years of calling out for you... You’re finally here. You’re not dead. I can’t believe you’re not dead. I-I... I don’t really know how to... I don’t know how to express properly what I’m feeling. I’m tragic at everything that doesn’t involve my body outright threatening to self-implode from fear - It’s always been this way. So... Even if it’s embarrassing as hell... I just want you to know that, you being alive... It’s the happiest I’ve ever been.” Negan couldn’t contain the ever growing grin on his face - Hell, he even had to shift his gaze away from that innocent, adorable face of hers, all bashful and shit - He dragged his hand down his face, ruffled away at his beard, all to stop the childish giddiness he was feeling. He couldn’t. “It’s been three years. It’s insane how much different our lives have been. You’ve been thriving and adapting so, so very well. You created a community... A whole community, and you’re their leader! Hundreds of them! You’ve become so strong and confident, and everyone’s relying on you. You’re so cool, you know? I wish I was there to see all this.” she sighed lowly. “Instead... I was on the run for months, and when we finally found a nice place to settle at the prison, I almost get killed a few times. A few of us got kidnapped too, by the psycho leader of another community - Called himself the Governor. He cut off Rick’s hand. He... He tortured and raped Michonne for days. I and Glenn were locked away in the room nearby, to hear everything. I don’t even want to imagine what he’d have done to me, if Michonne hadn’t pissed him off by biting his ear off.” she shuddered. “Bunch of us died because of him. A few of us almost died from a bad flu. It was awful. I think I was delirious for a few days too. Then, we get caught by a group of cannibals, of all things. More of us died again.” her eyes were gleaming with forming tears. “All of this... All of this... Three years... All by their side... And I get called a - A traitor. Why? I don’t get it. Am I really that bad? But even if I am - What have I done? Is it because I knew you, at the very beginning of the Apocalypse? Is that all? That sounds like a kinder garden reason, doesn’t it? But maybe it’s not me who’s wrong. Maybe it’s them. I can’t be a bad person for knowing you, can I? I can’t help loving you. It just happened.” Negan kissed her to shut up. “It’s been three god damn long, fucking years, doll. The man I was, and the man I am now - We’re different. Whatever those fuckers accuse you of, doesn’t matter. In the end, Negan’s here for you doll, a’ight? I’ve gotcha.” he kissed her again. “Besides - I  was supposed to be the one who talks too much, wasn’t I? When you speak so much, you’re usually afraid or overthinking or some stupid shit like that. That won’t do anymore, doll! No more silly thoughts around me! My pretty girl won’t be upset anymore. She’ll be safe here, among friends. I’ll make sure of that.” Y/N gave him an amused smirk. “Will your wives also take care of me? I should let you know, I got proposed to, in the prison. Twice. Both times, by women. One of them, in fact, wanted to marry me AND Rick and his wife. But you never did ask me out, did you?” her cheeky grin made him laugh, only to shove his hand in the pocket of his pants, but his fist was closed, as he looked at it with a leisure, dazzling grin.  “Well, love, ‘bout damn fucking time I change that, don’t you think?” opening his fist, he revealed a pretty ring. Nothing too flashy, but it sported her favourite colour scheme. “Used to be, you wore lots of pretty jewellery. Looked damn fine on you. Whatever fucker dared take them away from you, better wish he died, otherwise, I’ll fucking bash his head against the wall - But that only means I get to bring more gifts for my lovely girl.” Negan looked at her flabbergast expression - What begun as a joke, turned into an actual proposal, and it was such a hearfelt and very Negan-style one. He couldn’t help but feel his heart beat faster, watching the blush deepen on her face, and the way her beautiful eyes darted around, as if her brain had shortcircuited trying to come up with a proper response for it. With no better answer, she said just a single word. “Yes.” “Now that’s what I love to hear!” he laughed mirthfully, gingerly picking her hand and slipping the ring down her finger, only to place a small kiss on the back of her hand, and on the inside of her wrist. “If I’d known you were alive, they wouldn’t have existed. I gave them the option, to live a good life by my side, or work their place here, like the rest of the people. Can’t imagine any of those would rather give up their luxuries, even if that meant leaving their partners, y’know.” he let out a disapproving tut noise. “But you, Y/N. You’ll always be my lovely Y/N.” he said, pulling her flush against his chest. “Fuck those guys - They can’t appreciate you as you deserve. And fuck the world too - Fuck everyone else even. I’ll make sure you don’t have too see any of those dead fucks again, and like hell will I allow any threat to get anywhere close to you.” he declared boldly. “It’s been us, against everything, from the very beginning, and that’s how I intend to continue it, until this fucking mess finally ends.” “And if it doesn’t?” she asked timidly. “Well, love, I’d say I’ve still a good couple of years ahead of me to enjoy, with you by my side. What do you say? We’re not getting old, are we?” he chuckled, mimicking the forming grin on her face. She felt light, and happy - She was brightening up the whole room, and Negan’s heart, along with it. “Sounds about right to me.”

As the Sun was setting, and the Moon was out once more, Negan brought his dear wife up, and led her to the living room, lit up by candles. A radio was there, and he put a cassette on ; A bitter-sweet love song played. It was ‘When the Wild Wind Blows’ by Iron Maiden, the tale of a husband and wife who form a suicide pact, as they watch the end of the world sweep on them, from their fallout shelter. Unexpectedly fitting for their situation, but beautifully tragic, no less. The two held each other, as they swung and danced the night away, with Negan softly singing the lyrics, in that soothing, velvety voice of his, that never failed to lit afire every nerve in her body.

Negan held Y/N in his arms, her head against his chest - Surely, she could feel the way his heart beat to the rhythm of her own drum, but it was fine. He loved Y/N. It was perfectly fine.

For a few seconds, in his euphoric daze, an apparition flashed before his very eyes, freezing him on the spot - It was Lucille, and she was smiling at him, just like the good, old times. She offered him a nod, and then she disappeared.  Was this her way of forgiving him for all his wrong-doing? Was this her way of giving him the blessing of actually moving on, and truly falling in love with a new wife?  Was she going to erase all the nightmares that he had been plagued with?

Negan looked down at the beloved woman looking so comfortable in his arms, and he kissed her hair. “I love you, Y/N.” and finally, Negan didn’t feel guilty for having feelings for another woman anymore. “I love you.”

[notmorbid]

the return [2/2].

dialogue prompts from twin peaks: the return (2017).

i told them if anything happened to me, it was you who did it.

how can you ever love me after what i did?

do you find me attractive?

what do we care about what the government thinks about who we marry? are we going to invite them to the wedding?

i can't stop thinking about last night.

it's true. it's all over the news.

i could throw a car farther than i'd trust that rat fuck.

now i know how brando felt.

you fuck us once, shame on us. you fuck us twice, shame on you.

these days, the glow is dying. what will be in the darkness that remains?

watch and listen to the dream of time and space. it all comes out now, flowing like a river. that which is and is not.

i know there's been trouble in there. we've all heard it.

you're staying with me tonight, okay?

i didn't know it was a gun.

you found something, didn't you?

there's fire where you are going.

can i smoke in here?

but smoking's bad for you.

do you know how good a cigarette would taste with this coffee?

smoke 'em if you got 'em.

i'm in your corner, champ. knock 'em dead.

i wanted to see you again. i've thought of you every day.

i have my life back again.

were you here when they first came?

your room seems different.

i'm trying to tell you that you have to watch out. things can happen. something happened to me.

is somebody in the house?

it's a goddamn bad story, isn't it?

if you need any help --- if you need anything --- i want you to call, okay? i mean it. help of any kind.

sometimes i really worry about you.

we don't have time for torture. i'm hungry.

what's on your mind tonight? you know i'm gonna tell you what's on mine.

the ninth level of hell will welcome you.

what kind of shit are you?

if you went missing, would you want people finishing their fucking homework before they looked for you?

you are nothing but a spineless, no-balls loser.

what fucking crystal ball are you looking into?

when you didn't come home last night, i thought the worst.

looks like we got ourselves a new contestant here.

what do i get if i win?

hope there's no murders this weekend.

you know you're not supposed to come here.

i need to know a good poison i could use. undetectable.

it makes me sick just to look at you.

i haven't slept in weeks. i've vomited blood. i can't live like this. i only want to die or change.

sit your butt down. it's no good eating alone.

love doesn't always turn a profit.

i love your show so much. you have done so much for me.

do you like it? do you really like it?

i feel like i'm somewhere else. have you ever had that feeling?

it's like i'm somewhere else and somebody else.

i always feel like myself. it may not always be the best feeling.

i'm not sure who i am, but i'm not me.

who am i supposed to trust but myself? and i don't even know who i am.

i want to stay, and i want to go. i want to do both.

we are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives inside the dream. but who is the dreamer?

who do you think that is there?

what happened to us back there?

it's my birthday. you gotta tell me the story.

it wasn't meant to be polite.

do you really want to fuck with this?

call 911. we got a dead one at the bar.

nice sweater. where'd you lift that?

i've been a selfish bitch to you all these years, and you've been a saint.

true love is giving the other what makes them happy.

i'll have a cup of coffee. and a cyanide tablet.

i thought you told me you didn't have any family.

oh. it's you.

i don't have your number.

you got a death wish?

it's like all our dreams are coming true.

the old team together again. nothing can stop us.

you know about death. that it's just a change, not an end.

there's some fear in letting go.

remember what i told you. i can't say more over the phone.

you're such a whiner. it's like being with a sick dog.

i just never really saw you before, the way i'm seeing you now. it's like i'm meeting a different person. who are you?

you hear that bird this morning?

i came as soon as i heard.

i will not soon forget your kindness and decency.

move over. i'll drive.

you've made my heart so full.

you'll see me soon. i'll walk through that door and i'll be home for good.

you've gone soft in your old age.

if i disappear like the others, do everything you can to find me.

i know you understand, but i'm still sorry.

the past dictates the future.

[name]. the one and only.

do you remember everything?

i hope i see all of you again. every one of you.

see you at the curtain call.

is it you? is it really you?

once we cross, it could all be different.

please don't try to find me.

i don't recognize you anymore.

usually, somebody like you comes around, i tell 'em to fuck off.

i gotta get out of dodge. it's a long story.

i tried to keep a clean house. keep everything organized.

in those days, i was too young to know any better.

sorry to bother you so late at night.

what year is this?

[alonetimelover]

Fade To Black

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, ep. 3 (yes, all that is happening here too), implied SA (nothing explicitly described), talk about suicide, angst, drugs consumption, feels

summary: YN loved Joel more than anyone ever. Joel was selfish and scared. They both made mistakes. They both said too much and not enough in different points in time. But it all led them to Bill's town and aftermath of what had happened, understanding something very important - love isn't always forever.

word count: ~ 7,3k

a/n: finally got over the fear of writing for joel... hope you like it x

part 2

“I love you, Joel,” she said, admiring his face - scarred, dirty and with wrinkles adoring his forehead and area over his eyes. 

There could be - there was - no one else that she could love more. No one after the whole world went to shit. Not her ex-fiancé that got infected the day of the outbreak, not her ex-boyfriend she shot after he was ready to hurt the child - Riley - she was taking care of in the QZ. Not her parents, who left her when she was five years old. Not any of her foster parents - there were more than 10 couples. She couldn’t really remember all of them. 

For years she had thought she wouldn’t be able to love anybody. And then she met Joel. And she fell in love. 

“You’re good, YN. I think Joel’d like you.”

“Don’t be stupid, Tess. I’m not good for your job, I’m a nurse not a fighter or smuggler. I can stitch you up after a bad run but there is nothing more for me to do on your escapades with him,” she answered, laughing quietly. 

“I think the opposite. Just try, he’s not gonna bite you, and if he tries I’ll deal with him.” Tess smiled. 

He didn’t bite her. From the moment he saw her, he deep down knew - she was going to change his life, him. The breeze of fresh air that she provided in the polluted world he’d been living in for over eight years. And the smile she greeted him with. The little twinkle in her eyes, saying more than her words, showing him her true self, the one she wasn’t yet ready to show.

She was going to change his life. 

And she did. 

“You’ve become soft, Miller,” said Robert on one of their meet-ups. No things to trade what annoyed Joel, putting him on the last strand of patience towards this excuse of a man. “That doll is making you weak.” 

Joel scoffed at him. ‘Piece of shit’, he thought. If not the thing Robert promised to trade over with him, he’d kill him on the spot. Or not. Two years ago he would demolish him, rip him. One year ago he’d disembowel him for all the shit he made pointing out. Now? Maybe if he said one more word about YN he would. 

“You’ve got my stuff?”

“I have something better. It-”

“I don’t need anythin’ better. I need my thing,” Joel pressed, standing up from the bench. “Either you give what I came here for or I’m leaving, no pills for you.”

“Pussy whip,” Robert scoffed, not being able to say another word, having his nose now broken. 

“My books, you have ‘em?” 

“What the fuck, Joel?! What the fuck!” Robert was cursing at the older Miller, trying to stop the bleeding. “You fucking dickhead, you fucker!”

Joel didn’t have time for this. It was already 5:50 and the time to walk home was much longer than 10 minutes. He was going to bribe guards once again for not following curfew. But most importantly, YN was waiting for him, probably - for sure - worried sick, he promised to be there at 5 at worst.

“You’ve got 10 seconds to bring me what’s mine.”

Robert, still cursing at Joel, trew all the books that YN had listed to Joel over the years. Her birthday was coming up, and it was the only thing that he came up with to surprise her with. Plus, a trip to Bill and Frank for a nice dinner that Frank had suggested last time. Maybe he would find some flowers along the way to give her as well. 

“Wasn’t that hard, was it?” 

YN remembered those birthdays being the best she ever had. Better than the one where she got her dream bike or she got accepted to medical school years before the outbreak happened. All the books she’d already read were one more time for her to enjoy, thanks to Joel. She finally had something to read to the kids she was looking after at the makeshift kindergarten she had founded. 

The trip to Bill and Frank, the flowers Joel picked up for her, made her forget about the pandemic. For the first time since 26th of September 2003 she forgot there was something called ‘pandemic’. Joel gave her one, normal day she didn’t know that she had craved so much. 

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Is it working?” Joel smirked, giving her yet another one of the field flowers he'd been picking up since they passed the hill, strolling towards Bill’s town.

“I’ll let you know sometime. It may be.”

“Glad to know I still have game,” he mumbled, looking around - always making sure they, she was protected and safe. 

“Does it feel strange to you? Giving flowers, celebrating?”

“A little. I’ve never thought I’d ever give flowers to a beautiful woman again. I’ve never thought I’d be able to feel anything ever again. Not after -” 

“It’s okay,” she stopped him, knowing that the topic he was referring to was taboo. There was no obligation for him to start talking about what changed him so much during the outbreak day. If he started he would feel too guilty to talk to her for the next two weeks - it already happened once. “Thank you for doing it, I appreciate it so much.”

“You’re my guardian angel, ya know?”

“And you’re mine.”

They were together for a year and a half when that conversation happened. Conversation that no one would believe could be held with Joel Miller. The monster, the killer, the smuggler and the QZ fear-inspiring man. Tess didn’t know this side of him, nor did Tommy. Joel reserved it for YN only, not knowing when and where. Not really knowing why. At least then he didn’t know that. 

She brought him peace he seeked since Sarah. Romantic and platonic love, he’d never felt before. Safeness, he thought, was required only from him and he didn’t have the right to feel it. 

It was all a mystery. Man that could kill another person for looking wrongly at him or her, was almost running around the field trying to choose the prettiest flowers. The duality of the man was surprising even for the said man. It was also scary. He felt he was going to lose one side for the other, and he couldn’t let that happen. He was not going to be able to keep her safe if he let himself slip. Then it would be someone hurting her, or him doing it. 

The sun above them was right at the zenith, burning their skins. The slight wind bringing a passing refreshment, made the leaves rustle. It was a beautiful day. 

“Thank you guys for letting us be here,” YN spoke to Bill and Frank. “It means so much to me, to us.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, YN. There is always one day during the year that you have your birthday, isn't there?” Frank smiled cheerfully, kicking Bill under the table. ‘Say something nice’ was what he said with his eyes. 

“Happy birthday, YN.”

And that was what he really meant. Because from all three of their usual visitors - YN, Tess and Joel, Bill liked YN the most. And it scared him. Somehow he felt the connection immediately, and after a year of knowing her - he thought of her as a daughter he’d never had. He slipped that once to Frank and it warmed his heart, because Frank felt the same. 

“Thank you. Thank you so much, I couldn’t ask for a better way to spend this day.”

“If you guys want,” Frank carefully looked at Bill, earning a surprising nod, “if you guys want, you can stay the night. Shower, sleep in an actually good bed, have a drink. It’s - it’s our gift to you, YN.”

… 

“We’ll talk over the radio, baby. I’ll visit whenever I can. I’ll find things to trade with Bill every week, I promise you. I won’t leave you. It’s not over,” Joel was repeating the same sentences over and over again for the last ten minutes. It was more to himself, saying he’d try and wouldn’t give up on them. 

“I know, Joel. I’m not afraid of that. I - I’ll just miss you, very, very much,” she answered with tears in her eyes. She didn’t know why she was crying. Bill’s town wasn’t much away from Boston, they had radio to talk over with. It wasn’t the end of their story. Or maybe subconsciously she felt it was going to be the slow end? “I love you, Joel.”

“I know.”

“Promise?”

“On my life.” 

“Joel! Are you listening to me? I’ve been asking you questions for the last ten minutes!” Ellie finally yelled at Joel, throwing him out of the daydream. Did it really happen the way he remembered it?

Hiking the same route he did with her, passing the field with their flowers, the plane and the little shop. Every step he took brought back memories. Especially that one. Those words had hunted him once. And they were doing it again. Rightfully so. He once again broke the promise to the person that meant to him the most. 

“Yeah, yeah. What was the question?” he said still not all present with Ellie. 

“I asked if they’re nice.”

“Frank is."

“And Bill?”

“He never liked me. Now he’s going to probably shoot me on the spot.”

Ellie stopped, “then why in the fuck are we going there? Do I need to remind you, I’m supposed to be delivered to some Firefly hospital? Joel?” She tried catching his attention, failing again. “Jesus Christ, we’re gonna die.”

“We’re not gonna die. I - I’ll just go up there without my gun, hands up and all that. It’ll be fine. You’re with me, it’s gonna keep me alive at least till I explain myself.”

“Why does Bill want to kill you?”

“I’m not a good man.”

“Yeah, no shit. Who is when the world falls apart?”

“You’d be surprised. There are people finding beauty and kindness even when the world goes to shit.”

“Stupid ones, for sure.”

“No,” he defended quickly. YN wasn’t stupid. If something, she was the smartest of them all. “Not stupid. Just good. There still are people like that.”

“So…that Frank?”

“Partially. He probably wants to kill me too, even though he once liked me. Or I thought so he did.”

“Is there someone else living there?”

“You ask a lot of goddamn questions, Ellie.” Joel had had enough. He already said too much. It’s going to hunt him in his sleep, as if he hadn’t had enough nightmares to deal with. 

“Yes, I do. But, it’s the most you’ve ever talked to me. I call it a win. And,” she longed, smirking at Joel’s grimace. “I know that there is someone else in that town.”

He left that sentence flying with the wind. Was YN still there? She must have been. She wouldn’t have left Frank and Bill alone. Especially if Frank’s health would go worse than it had already been for a few years. She wasn’t like that. She would most likely lay over the wire for them to walk over her carefully than leave all alone.

“Holy shit,” Ellie exclaimed upon seeing the town. “Those guys are geniuses!” 

Joel shook his head and opened the gate with the code that Bill had given him almost ten years ago. “Now listen, I’m giving you the rifle, and the pistol. You put it away, somewhere safe. Have a knife on you, I’ll too. Don’t stress over the words Bill or Frank say. Don’t attack them, on any condition. Understood?”

Ellie nodded her head. 

“Understood?” Joel repeated, this time more pushing.

“Understood.” 

Ellie did as Joel asked her to, and followed him two steps behind. It was crazy. The whole town was gated, flowers were blooming in their pots, flags waving at them with the wind and shop displays being tidy. It all looked like pandemic never reached this town, never touched this ground, infecting it. It was like the world in the early 2003. Or how she imagined it must have been before.

“Is that how towns looked before it all happened?”

“Some of them. It’s one of the nicest ones. There was a church nearby, clothing store, furniture one, too. You could find anything in minutes away from your home,” Joel answered frantically looking around. She must’ve been here. The flowers were taken care of, the lawns, trees and shops’ displays. It was all her, he knew it. 

“Which house is Frank’s?”

“The white one, with most flowers around it.”

“You see that no one has shot you, yet. Maybe, maybe you’re not that bad to them?”

“Get behind me.”

They were right in front of the house. It was all wrong suddenly. The doors were opened and the swing on the porch was broken. Flowers in the blue pot that YN painted for Frank were gone, the pot smashed with soil surrounding it. Looking to his right he saw two new beds of flowers, adoring the freshly mowed lawn. On the left, ground was overcropped, grass around it likely burnt. Something happened there and it made him sick to his stomach. 

He opened the fence slowly so as not to make it squeak. In no time he was on the porch, opening the door wider to get in. House smelled like oil paint and flowers, Joel recognised them as daffodils - YN’s favourite. With each step taken carefully, Ellie right behind him, he examined the space. It was clean. Too clean. 

“Bill? Frank?” He finally let the words spill into the void. 

“What the fuck?” Ellie said in awe.

Joel gave her a look, “stay here. Ya hear anything, you see anything -” he looked at the kitchen door, “yell.” 

“What if they’re gone?” Ellie prompted. 

‘There was no way,’ he thought, looking at the young girl. Bill and Frank were fine. YN was fine. He went into the kitchen not sparing Ellie another look. He needed to find them, he needed her. Walking towards their bedroom he repeated to himself that they all were fine. 

“Frank?” he called, knocking at the door, and trying to open it after a few seconds. Locked. 

Front door closed with a thud, making his heart skip a bit. 

“Ellie?” Joel asked not too loudly, as to not draw too much attention to himself. “Ellie?”

He moved to the dining room where he left her, not expecting the sight before his eyes. Ellie held against her with a knife pressed tightly to her neck, fear in her eyes mixing with tears. Hands trembling at her sides, where another knife was near her stomach. 

“Joel?” Ellie pleaded. 

“Told you to stay quiet, kid,” she pressed the knife closer to her artery, blood slowly covering the blade, shallow enough to not cause any damage beside fear. “Listen to me or your blood is covering this carpet.” 

She still hadn’t looked at him.

“YN,” Joel sighed, eyes big, looking at the woman who once shared life with him. “YN, baby-”

He took a step forward, “one more step, Miller and I’m sliding it across her neck. I’m warning you.”

“Leave her out of this, YN.”

“Don’t say my name. Don’t use it ever again. Ever. Again.” Her right hand, near Ellie’s neck, started noticeably trembling. 

“Ellie, it’s okay. She’s not going to hurt you,” Joel tried calming down the girl, whose cheeks were already staining with salty tears. Her expression telling Joel to do something. Help me, Joel. 

“You’re saying it like you know me.”

“I do know you. Point your knives at me, not her. She’s just a kid,” Joel almost cried. 

It wasn’t his YN. He knew it. She knew it. 

She let her guard down. Ignored the beeping of her alarm, informing her someone entered the town. She was too engrossed in picking up new flowers to arrange in the house. Thinking about how to change the pipe that was leaking under the bath, but also about the sink in the kitchen that must have gotten clogged over the last years that Bill didn’t have time to check it. Oh, how she wished he taught her more of his skills. 

Seeing a random girl standing in her home, made her survival mode fly over ten. Just a young girl but in this world everyone could be a possible danger, a distraction for more powerful people. So she did what Bill did teach her, sneak up, threaten and get the information. She didn’t get a chance to do the last thing. He, he interrupted her. The man she had thought she’d never see again. The man she wished she'd never see again. 

Just a little girl. Not older than Riley, maybe even younger. ‘A little girl, YN’ said a voice in her head. ‘Let go.’

She pushed Ellie away from her, making her stumble and fall on her knees near Joel. 

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” he assured her, helping her stand up. “Get behind me, Ellie.”

What could he do more? Did he still know her as well as he did back then? She must have changed. She did. He did too. There was no way he could predict what would happen if he let his guard down for even a second. But wa she going to keep it up when she was right in front of him? Right there to touch, to hug.

“What are you doing here?” She asked finally, pointing her knives, as he asked, at him. 

“I need Bill’s help.”

She scoffed, “too bad. He won’t help you.” She shook her head with a dry laugh. If he truly knew her, the grimace on her face would tell him everything he needed to know. 

“I need to talk to him,” Joel pressed, trying to take a step forward. Knife flying down just milimetres away from his boot. “Okay, I understand.”

“Stay back, Joel. Or better - get the fuck out,” she spat. 

“Listen-”

“I won’t listen! Get out and don’t look back. You did that once already it can’t be that hard. Out!” She screamed at him, another knife flying towards his feet. “Get out, get out and go to whatever hole you crawled here from.”

Ellie started piecing everything together. She was the woman Tess briefly mentioned at the Fireflies building. ‘Get her to YN. Don’t look at me like that. Just take her. She may be done with you but she won’t let Ellie suffer. She’s too good. Take her to YN. Tell her…’ And then Tess whispered something to Joel, Ellie couldn’t hear. This woman, she must’ve been YN. Also the woman in Joel’s dreams. 

“YN, YN, YN,” Joel was repeating over and over again. 

“You’re mumbling in your sleep,” Ellie commented, noticing Joel sitting up on the worn-out couch. “Who’s YN?”

“Don’t you have better things to do?” Joel ignored his heart, skipping a beat. All those years and he still held on tight to her. 

“‘What am I supposed to do? I’m sure you’ll figure it out.’ is exactly what you said to me. Well surprise, listening to your mumbling was the best entertainment.” 

“Listen kid-” But Tess interrupted him. 

“Where’s Bill and Frank?” Ellie finally broke the sound of only heavy breathing. “Are they here?”

“Ellie, shut up,” Joel said through his teeth, scared that YN would break her composure and attack her next. 

At that moment he didn’t notice what Ellie did. YN looked at the old piano behind them, loving but hurt eyes gazing at the keys. It was the only thing in the house that was covered in dust, everything else was clean. But not the piano, and not the picture frame above it. A picture showing four people: Joel, YN and two men Ellie thought that must have been Bill and Frank. They all were hugging in there. YN and a slightly taller man smiling widely with Joel and the other guy sporting a hard look. Box of chocolates, half-opened lying next to the frame. One chocolate unwrapped, luring the flies. A vase with fresh daffodils next to it was the only cheerful thing there. 

Oh.

“Fuck,” she whispered with dispbelief, earing a hard look from Joel. “They’re dead.”

At that YN trembled. 

“What are the two of you doing awake at 6 a.m? I thought I’d get some sleep on Saturday,” YN laughed walking into the kitchen, where Bill was helping Frank eat his breakfast. “And you did food? Wow, I’m actually not mad.” 

Frank smiled at YN, loving her easy-going personality. Her love for life. 

“Surprise,” he said, after chewing the sausage. “What do you say we go shopping today?”

“Shopping?” She chuckled, choosing her own plate full of food. “Whose money are we paying for it with?” Absent-mindedly she reached for the cupboard with medicine, preparing Frank’s pills for the morning - the routine she’d been performing for more than four years now. “What’s the occasion?” 

“It’s my last day.”

“Fuck,” YN cursed as the box with pills fell to the ground. Speechless, she looked at Frank and then Bill.

“I’ve decided. Last day and no, don’t say anything yet,” Frank stopped already fumbling over words YN. “It’s settled. No taking backs. It’s my last day and I want to spend it with the both of you, with the people I love the most - my partner and our daughter. So please, will you go shopping with me?” 

“Frank, what? I - But - The pills, they, they’re working. You said you feel better, the back and legs don’t hurt as much as they did. You can hold the food better and - and the seizures stopped. You- you’re getting better,” YN was listing all the lies that Frank spilled on her over the last weeks. Hands still trying to pick up all the bottles and arrange them as they were. 

“Stop,” Bill said, clasping her hands in his. Somehow he was kneeling next to her, a soft look in his eyes. “Sit down with us, we’ll talk.” 

He led her to the chair she usually sat on, placed the food in front of her together with the tea from the herbs she grew in the garden. 

“Pills don’t help anymore, YN. They never did. I’m sorry that I’ve been lying to you but - I don’t know. I love seeing you happy after all that happened to you. And my ‘recovery’ was somehow bringing the smile on your face back. It - it was selfish of me. I know. I blame myself every day for it. And I am sorry.” Frank took a pause to dry the tears of his cheeks. “I want you to spend this day with me the way I want it to be. Nothing crazy. Please,” he almost begged. 

She just nodded her head. No way she would be able to speak for the next couple of hours. 

And she didn't. Silently she helped Frank and Bill choose the suits and a dress for herself. Next she went to the garden and picked the vegetables for dinner that Bill was about to make. ‘Something special’, he assured her with a little smile, quickly disappearing in the kitchen. She picked up the meat from the shed and a few fruits for the dessert. If it was going to be Frank’s last day, it needed to be eventful and near perfect. 

“What’s he cookin’?” YN asked Frank, fidgeting with the dress. It was the first time wearing something like it since 2003. It felt foreign. She spoke for the first time since the morning. 

“Wouldn’t tell me but it’s not the time to eat, yet. I have a request.” 

“Well, anything you want.”

“I - We want you to officiate our marriage. I know it’s illegal and it doesn’t fucking matter in this world but - I’ve always wanted to get married. It was my dream from way back. Can you?” Frank squeezed YN’s hand, as hard as he could (she didn't feel anything, Frank being that weak).

“Okay.”

It was perfect. It couldn’t be more perfect. Bill and Frank all suited up set together near the piano with YN standing before them with a terrible (Bill said so himself with a laugh) speech prepared. Tears, happy tears streaming down her face with each word spilling out of her mouth. Her friends - her dads - were doing what society even it its lowest wouldn’t allow them to do. But in a true Bill and Frank’s way they say ‘fuck it’ and live the way they want it. Even if it's only for a day. 

“You may kiss the bri- fuck - groom. You may kiss the groom.”

“I can be a bride,” Frank giggled, softly pecking Bill’s lips. “Always wanted to know how it would be to have a wedding and the ‘you may kiss the bride’ moment. Not bad, not bad.”

“I’m considering divorce,” grumbled Bill, but smirking nonetheless. 

“I’m not officiating that. That’s for sure.” 

And somehow after having a laugh about it, the air around them got heavier, thicker. The realisation of what was about to happen in the next three or so hours consumed them. Mostly YN. Frank wanted it more than anything else. Bill, well Bill like always was an enigma. 

“Is this what you cooked for him the first time?” YN asked, while they were eating the delicious dinner that Bill prepared. 

“It is. My best pig for a stranger.” Bill shook his head. 

“Love of your life,” Frank corrected. “You knew it back then. I know it.”

Bill just smiled, he did know it. As much as they argued through all the years they’d been together Frank indeed was the love of his life. 

YN was watching them, a tiny smile adoring her face. She hated it. She hated this day. More than the one when Joel left her. More than the one when he stopped radioing back. More than the one when she understood he hadn’t really loved her. But if she couldn’t experience the love she’d been seeing in front of her for herself, she was glad she was able to see Bill and Frank do. 

Bill came into the room with two bottles of wine. 

“I saved the rest of the one we drank that day,” Bill announced. “You don’t mind I share it with Frank, and I’ll unscrew the one you like?” 

“Not at all. All yours. I’m not particularly happy about drinking a century year old opened wine.”

“Nothing for me to fear. And you, love, are going to have a nurse just for yourself.” Frank smiled. 

Bill poured the wine into the glasses, no emotion on his face. Two glasses of red and one of white which was immediately placed in front of YN. Sitting back, Bill took a long breath, shaking his head from left to right. He pulled out the bag full of crushed pills from his shirt’s pocket. Not giving them a second glance, he put them in one of the wine glasses. Stirred it with a teaspoon and slided towards Frank. 

“Will it be enough?” Frank whispered. 

“YN measured. Enough to do the job painlessly.”

“You’ll just fall asleep like any other night. Just - just a little bit quicker and -” YN breathed shakily. “For a bit longer.”

With two hands on the glass, Frank looked at Bill with sorrow. But his eyes, his eyes were saying ‘don’t you be sad, it’s all going to be okay. We’ll be together again.’ Then he swung the glass, and drank the drugged wine to the last drop. Bill was watching him with care, slightly absent. 

When Frank’s glass hit the table, Bill mimicked his husband. Look, swing, drink, put down. Done. 

‘He did it,’ thought YN, looking frantically between the two lovers. She shouldn’t have been surprised, Bill couldn’t live without Frank. 

“Were there already pills in the bottle?” asked Frank, ignoring YN’s sobs across from him, paying attention only to Bill. 

“Enough to kill a horse. I - I trebled the dose YN told me to use.” Bill pointed at YN, looking quite sorry for not telling her his plan. “This isn’t a tragic suicide at the end of the play. I’m old. I’m satisfied. And you,” his voice started breaking. “You were my purpose.”

“I do not support this,” Frank sighed, eyeing Bill and his vulnerable state. “I should be furious. But from an objective point of view-” he reached for Bill’s hand - “it’s incredibly romantic.” 

And they laughed. They laughed because they were going to leave this fucked up world on their own terms. No one was going to take that away from them. They spent amazing years with each other, they loved  and hated each other at the same time. They were family. And no one could change that. 

“YN,” Frank sighed, looking at the woman he thought of as his own daughter. “YN, please look at us.”

She lifted her head, tear-stained cheeks coming into the view, red puffy eyes and trembling bottom lip. How could it be that she was losing the last people she loved?

“I have one more request.” 

YN just nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak.

“Will you play for us? For the last time?”

“Anything you want.”

Slowly all of them moved to the other room when the piano stood. YN helped Bill sit Frank down on the couch, fixing up the cushions to make him comfortable. When Bill sat next to his husband, hand squeezing his, fulfilled smiles on their faces. 

“Love will abide,” she started, a teary voice sounding not as good as she wished for. “Take things in stride.”

Bill placed his head on Frank’s shoulder, earning a loving kiss there. It felt like a full circle moment. They came back to the place where they’d started. This room, a piano and the song. The melody of the instrument, delicate and yearning, flying in the air like feathers. YN’s words slowly fading in the void, filling the emptiness that looked to welcome them into. Each second passing, pushing them forward towards the little speckle of light, getting closer and closer. Her beautiful voice accompanying them till the moment it seemed to be miles away.

“And I think I’m gonna miss you, for a long, long time.” She finished singing, not being able to say the last lines. The piano notes getting more silent with the song coming to an end. “I love you, dads.” 

With that beautiful ending of the song, they exhaled silently. Their joined hands touched the light, making it surround them with a warm feeling. ‘So that's how it feels.’

Later that night, when she composed herself, YN found Bill’s letter. He asked her to bury their bodies together in front of the house ‘so we’ll be able to protect you’, with flower beds over them ‘no crosses, it’s not gonna be a damn graveyard.’ So she did as he asked, and then one more. ‘Call Joel. Take him or shoot him, I trust your judgement.’

And late that night, she played the 80s on the radio, hoping he’d come. Maybe hearing the song they loved could bring him back to her. Maybe he still cared. ‘He’ll come. He must have loved you once.’ 

She waited days. Weeks. And months. 

He didn’t come. 

“YN, I’m so-”

“Oh, no. You can’t be saying it, for fuck’s sake! Fuck you, Joel! Fuck you!” she screamed, pointing a warning finger at him. “You fucking don’t deserve to say those words. They mean nothing. Nothing! You hear me? There is nothing for you to say to me! Nothing to say, to do, not even to think! I don’t want you to even think about me, about them. You don’t deserve it.” She spat the last sentence, standing straight. 

“Listen to me, please.”

“Listen to you? Listen to you?” She repeated with a scoff. “Jesus fucking Christ! You’re unbelievable. You want me to listen to you? That’s rich coming from you, Joel. You left me here, promised to radio, visit, remember. You broke each of the promises you made. Each of them!”

“You don’t know it. I never stopped thinking of you. I could never-”

“Stop talking.”

“I could never forget you, YN.”

“Stop.”

“I made mistakes and I am sorry for them. But- but I could never forget you. Never.”

“Fucking stop!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. She had had enough. He couldn’t come back to her life and try to be in it like years ago. “How many times did I play 80s for you?”

“YN-”

“How many times?” she pressed, taking a few steps forward, standing right in front of Joel. He stayed quiet. “Four times. I played them four times!” She nudged his chest four times, pushing him back at the end. 

“Hey!” Ellie yelled, but got silenced by Joel’s hand going up in the way of saying ‘it’s okay, I can handle it.’ 

The anger suddenly left her, being replaced with anguish and grief.

“Two weeks after you left me. Raiders came. Bill got shot. I- I got shot. I thought I was going to die, I thought it was the end and the only thing in my mind was you. I could only think about your damn face,” she stressed, now petting his chest. “Remember what you said when you left?”

He did remember now. It was hounding him in his dreams. Over and over again. Each night waking up with the same word on the mouth: promise. 

“Why are you leaving? Frank said you can stay, there’s enough space for both of us. We can start fresh. Right here, Joel. New beginning,” YN whispered to her partner, shaking hands straightening his flannel shirt. 

“I can’t. I can’t live this life. Not yet at least. I’m not good enough for it.”

“Not good enough? Joel, my love,” she sighed, pecking his cheek. “We’ve changed since all of this happened. You did, I did. This is our chance to come back to some state of what was before. Don’t you want it?”

“It can’t be like before, don’t you understand? It can’t be.” He shook his head. “It’s not for me.”

“So, you’re breaking up with me?”

“No,” he protested immediately. “Absolutely not.” Joel put his hands on her cheek, looking into her eyes for the first time since starting this conversation. “You’re my light at the end. You’re my present and future, yeah? I care about you and I need you. I- I just can’t be the man you want. I can’t stay here pretending like the world didn’t go to shit. I can’t. Tommy needs me. I don’t belong to this life anymore.”

“It sounds like a goodbye,” she sobbed. 

“It’s not.” He brushed the tears away. “It's ‘see you later’, yeah? I ain’t leaving you for good. I’ll come back in no time to visit, I’ll radio you. I- I traded some things for a book with Billboard’s Number 1 hits or some shit. I’ll know everything you want to say. Do you believe me?”

She nodded her head. “I do.”

“I’ll be back. Promise.”

Promise.

Promise.

Promise. 

“‘I’ll be back. Promise.’ You repeated that five times to me. ‘It’s okay.’ ‘I’ll be back.’ ‘In no time.’ I shouldn’t have been surprised after all the lies you’d told me, should I? It was just another one and little, naive YN believed the man because she was so in love with him,” YN scoffed. “Frank played the 80s for a week, waiting for you to come back. They were sure I wasn’t gonna make it. I still don’t know why I did.”

“Can I say something now?”

She ignored his question, “then Frank got worse. I radioed you, needing more pills to ease the pain. He was suffering so badly.”

That month when Frank needed to live without any medication was probably the worst for anybody in a household. He screamed from the spasms that didn’t give him a moment to shut an eye. He gritted his teeth when YN tried to massage his sore back that was slowly unnaturally contorting. Days after days he became weaker, pain getting harder to deal with. It was the first time he asked YN to use something on him to end it permanently. She knew she couldn’t do it so she ran. She ran in search for any medication that she thought could help with the condition that was slowly developing. 

After three days of travelling she stumbled upon a little town - Hardwick - where people weren’t as nice as she had thought they’d be. She traded what she had left on herself - family necklace, last portion of food, her boots and much more that she made herself forget about. The most important was - she got the pills. 

Barefoot and almost frozen to death she came back home. She didn’t let Bill take care of her frostbites, wounds those people had caused or a gash on her thigh that was still bleeding. She needed to help Frank. She portioned the pills by milligrams she loosely counted based on his weight and moved it to the box labelled as ‘Frank’s drugs’. 

“It’s going to be okay,” she said through her teeth clanking against each other. “It’s going to help you, Frank. You’re going to be okay. I’m sorry it took me so long. I am so sorry,” she cried. 

They helped. Not immediately, but they did. Slowly Frank regained the better part of his strength back and accepted the fact that he was going to need a wheelchair. But YN. She never was the same after what happened in Hardwick. 

“I got the pills. I got them for -” she paused, remembering the scenes from the shed she was thrown into, the screams, pain and disgust of her own body, making her want to throw up. “Doesn’t matter how. For the whole week I wasn’t here, Bill was playing 80s on the radio. Over and over, waiting for you to come back. He was desperate. Bill never was the one to ask for help and when the one time he was ready to do it - he got stood up.” 

Joel felt the guilt. For years he’d felt it. Today, it was just unusually real. After all, the biggest mistake and regret of his life needed to catch up with him. Looking at her red face, tear-stained cheeks and hollow gaze, he deep down knew there was no going back, no chance of going back to how things were years ago. 

“I understand that my apology means nothing to you. I -”

“The third time,” she began another story, now sitting at the table. “I just missed you. It was your birthday, it was Sarah’s memorial and I- I really needed to know if you were okay. I feared you were taking those fucking pills and swallowing them with scotch. I feared you were going to try it again. I feared for your life. I feared you were leaving for good. I played Fade To Black knowing that if you were listening you would show up. It was yours - Sarah and your - favourite song, the only one you agreed on staying on the radio. So when after a few days you didn’t come, I knew you were gone. Gone from the life we once shared.”

“You’re spending awfully long hours next to the window, sweetheart,” said Frank one afternoon. 

“Huh?”

“And with a head above the clouds, dreamers.” He shook his head teasingly. “What’s bothering you?”

She sighed, “I radioed him. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s not that you shouldn’t have. By doing so you’re just letting him break you more, hurting you.”

“You think he’s doing it on purpose?” YN wondered. 

“I don’t know.”

“He probably forgot, right? It’s been, what? Almost two years. He must have.”

“It’s not that easy to forget you, YN. I don’t think it’s even possible to do so.” Frank smiled, moving closer to her, clasping her hands in his and giving them a chaste kiss. “Impossible, really.”

“Then why?”

“I really don’t know. I wish I could tell you, I wish that I had an answer that would make you happy, that would give you some kind of a confirmation, an all clear. But I don’t have it. I just know that I appreciate you so much, and Bill and I love you. I know it’s not the same, but just know -” he squeezed her hands once more. “You are not alone.”

Placing her head on Frank’s hands, shaking with sobs, she tried to forget the man she loved. 

“And I wasn’t supposed to contact you ever again. But then Bill’s last wish was partially doing it. And I did. And here you are. But what’s the funniest is - you’re not here because you heard that something happened here. That something went wrong. That possibly the worst happened. No,” she sleered. “No, you’re here only because you need something. Not because you wanted to see me, to see what must have happened. You’re here for your own benefit. And somehow I am not surprised, you’ve always been selfish.”

It hurt. Each word spilling from her lips hurt Joel. But he deserved it. He knew he deserved more, still surprised he wasn’t lying in the puddle of his own blood after having been shot by her. 

Did he have something to make her understand his absence? No. Like she said, he was selfish. And he was a coward. A coward because he realised that he actually still was capable of that feeling that consumes you whole. The one that gives you those butterflies, he’d never understood but could feel now. The one that makes you forget your name while looking at someone, stumbling over words, gettin hot and bothered just because of their look. 

He was capable of love. 

And it terrified him. 

So when he realised it, he did what he was best at - he ran, hid and tried to forget. Forget about anything associated with YN. And everything reminded him of her. The pillow, the only mug in the apartment, the folded rug, the dirty socks under the bed, the little sketch of Sarah that was so accurate he felt her disappointed eyes judging him. YN was everywhere. And he hated and loved it at the same time. Because if he had left her, the only thing he could still have was the memory. 

“I love you, Joel. I know you can’t say it, it’s okay. I just need you to know it. I do love you.” She used to say every few weeks, reassuring him. Making him believe that she wasn’t playing. She was genuine. 

“I fucking love you.” Said every time he made her see the stars and feel the goosebumps cover her nude body.

“I missed you, I’m sorry. I love you. You’re home.” Said whenever he came back after a run from outside the QZ.

“I love you.” Whispered every night, when she thought he didn’t hear her. But he did, each time. 

“I love you,” he said for the first time since they’d met thirteen years ago. His voice, although weak, never sounded more confident. 

YN looked up from the table, studying his face for a moment. ‘How much you’ve changed’ she thought. The silver hair, now almost covering half of his gorgeous locks. Wrinkles that he sported from the moment they’d met, now deeper - worry always present on his face. His lips, oh those soft pink lips, now chapped. But his eyes. His eyes were the same. Those brown irises reminding her of a hot chocolate she used to drink every night for comfort. Eyes that told her more than his words ever could. Eyes that lied to her so many times. 

“And I loved you, too, Joel. I really did.”

[bokutooooo]

Summer Lovin

rafe cameron x reader

Pt 1

warnings (this book will later have smut+angst+fluff, but I will give separate warnings 🫶)

“𝙶𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚖𝚊! 𝙷𝚎𝚢! 𝙸’𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑, 𝙸’𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛.”

Summary - Y/n went to stay with the her grandmother for the summer at Outer Banks, where she grows a bond with a special friend group, but in the process meets someone she shouldn’t have.

This summer was going to be amazing.

I asked my parents If I could go stay in Outer Banks with my grandma for the summer, it took some convincing but they gave in. "I layed out some snacks on the porch hun, go get something to eat. " I skipped outside to got sit in one of the two rocking chairs, "Grams I was wondering if you wanted to go eat at the little restaurant I passed on the way here I think it was the wreck I saw it when I was in my cab." she came outside and sat across from me with two mugs in her hand which I'm assuming had tea inside. "Sure, I know the people who own it super sweet you might like their daughter she around your age."

“What do you plan on doing all summer dear? You don’t have to many friends here” me and gram were out for lunch at the Wreck “I’m not sure yet.. I’m sure I could make some though! Seems like there’s a lot of people my age here” just as I said that my grandmother called over a girl who looked just a few years younger than me. “Hun this is Kiara that girl I was talking about earlier, her parents own the wreck.” I looked up from my fries, she had long wavy brown hair with light brown highlights, she wore an orange tube top and jean shorts on with tons of bracelets. “Hi! Your food is super good” she gave me a smile “I’m glad you like it, you around for the summer? You seem new around here” I just laughed and looked at grams “yeah I’m here for the summer, still gotta figure out what I’m going to do though”

“Well here is my number, you can come hang out with me and my friends you might like em’” she handed me a slip of paper with a combination of numberson them. “Sure! Sounds good! Thanks” she said a few words to grandma then walked away into the back kitchen. “She seemed really nice, i”m glad I talked to her” I continued to eat my fries while talking with Grams for the rest of the afternoon.

Once I got home I finished unpacking and figured I go to a Home decor store. I wanted to make my room feel more cozy “Hey grams you don’t mind if I add a few things to my room right?” She was sitting in the living room reading a book and looked up at me “You do whatever you want, you know where it is?”

“Yup! I’ll be back in an hour tops” “no rush hun you can go and look around town just be back by dark.” I walked out to the side of the house where I saw my baby blue bike.

I was walking around the store in the pillow section, I wanted a beach looking one it had to be perfect. I went to check out after grabbing a few more things. “Hi just these please” I got a few candles, a cute pillow case, some fairy lights and a poster. As I was walking out of the store I bumped into a broad chest dropping my bag in the process. “Yo watch it” I just rolled my eyes and walked out ignoring the ignorant behaviour. I was about to peddle off when a guy jumped in front of my bike “Hey! Sorry I think you might’ve dropped this back there, wasn’t sure if it was yours.” It was a guy, he wore a burgundy shirt some brown cargos and a backwards baseball cap “oh shit! That’s my wallet, thank you so much” it must’ve been when I bumped into that guy. “Of course, also not to be weird but I’ve never seen you before, I just tend to remember people”

“Yeah I just come here for the summer, It’s Y/n by the way.” I smiled “I’m Pope, hope you have a nice summer here” he walked back off into the store “What a saviour” I started riding back to the house.

“Hi! It’s Y/n I was wondering if you’d maybe wanna hang out? I’m bored and was just looking to get out, totally understand if you can’t” a soft chuckle was heard from the other line “Sure why not, wanna go to the beach it’s still pretty warm out” I looked at the time it was only 6 o”clock I’m sure grams wouldn’t mind “sounds good! I’m just going to eat dinner and I’ll be right over!”

I was riding over to the beach when I saw a big group of people throwing a football back and forth. I stopped and leaned my bike against a tree and went to look for Kiara, turns out she was apart of the group. “Hey Kiara’ didn’t think there’s was more people! But whatever! I don’t mind at all.”

“Hey! Yeah sorry I didn’t give you a heads up, but let me introduce” we walked over to a guy with long-ish brown hair, he had a beachy shirt on and some long jean shorts. “This is John B” he gave me a toothy smile “Hi! I’m y/n” “Nice to meet you, goodluck with JJ”

What’s a JJ “Woooooahhh who’s this Kie?

I turn around to make eye contact with a tall blonde with a joint in his hand. “Jayj this is Y/n don’t scare her right away please” I just give him a small wave and tried to ignore him.

“This is P-“ “Oh! Pope! Hey” He looked up from his towel “Hey Y/n! What’s up? didn’t think I’d see you again for awhile” Kiara looked confused “You guys know each other? How’d you meet?”“She dropped her wallet at the store and I just returned it” I gave him a smile, Pope seemed nice so I’m glad I get to talk with him a again “That over there is Sarah, her and John B are dating, she’s a Kook” Kiara makes a barf noise but Sarah suddenly comes over and playfully shoves her “yeah yeah well she’s also technically one” she laughed “Hi! I’m Sarah, by the way I love your necklace it’s so cute” I looked down it was a seashell attached to this little rope “thanks! I’m Y/n, it’s my grandma’s!” She looked at it one more time before walking over to John B and giving him a side hug. “Wanna go for a swim? Or go get some ice cream? I’m kind of craving some” Kiara asked as we were sitting on the sand. I said sure and everyone else didn’t see to care where we went.

“Can I get the Sherbert please!” They had so many flavours I think it took me 5 minutes to pick. “Sure thing, in a cup or cone?” “Cone please!” We were all sitting in the Ice cream parlour when a group of rowdy guys walked in, I want say 4 or 5 of them came in. When they were at the cash paying, I could see them over Kiara’s shoulder. One of them stood out, he was really tall possibly over 6 foot but I couldn’t tell sitting down, he had short brown hair and wore a Polo shirt that had sunglasses hang around the collar. He was cute, I wasn’t about to lie about it, but almost like he could feel my eyes on him he turned around and looked at me but I was quick to look down, not wanting to maintain the eye contact.

Once we finished are ice cream we said are goodnights and went are separate ways. Peddling home was nice, it was that evening breeze and you could hear the crickets in the bushes. “Hey grams, sorry I know it’s dark” she was reading a book at the kitchen table “it’s fine hun, it only just got dark not even 20 minutes ago.”

I told her about Kiara and her friends and how we got ice cream. I think she thought that I was going to be alone all summer so this seemed to make her happy.

For some reason when I was brushing my teeth I couldn’t stop picturing that guy. I don’t even know his name or anything about him. But sooner or later after I got into bed my eyes shut.

So I tried to upload this 3 days ago but it was not working so I apologize. I hope you enjoyed!♡.

[kuromispamton2000]

More useless facts about Trivia:

Trivia as he now lives with his sisters he got to love aesthetics (from Eliza who loves aesthetic) and copied his sister with the ahh long sleeve shit

Trivia knows how to bake...and cook in general, Eliza had teach him how to cook in general that's why he knows how to, because before be with his sisters he lived out of instant noodles- (he no needs eat tho but he no want lose his humanity)

Trivia got to be one of the not much boys who are Hello Kitty Fan, thanks to his Sisters who loves Sanrio, Monika obviously loves Kuromi and Batzmaru, Eliza loves Pochacco and My Melody, Trivia is a classic boy, and likes Hello Kitty (mod's personal top 4th tier)

his top list Princesses from Mushroom Kingdom and Sarasaland are: Princess Rosalina, Princess Daisy and lastly Princess Peach, he no hates Peach but he's sickly jealous of her more because she's the girlfriend of his idol which was on love when he meet him on that meet your hero con.

on SMG4's channel (on his AU no go to check on canon's SMG4's channel not be stupid pks) he is mostly a Background character alongside with Strawberry lol, but he did a apparence on Mario gets stuck as a GIF, like SMG4, Mario and SMG3 went to ask him information about that remote, goodness Trivia was so nervous to interact with them but he felt so realized on that moment

bro loves Japansese snacks

he can't get fat since he is a android, his robotic body digests or just fades the food he consumes, makes it ashes and then clean em off his insides

...no his tail isn't useful, it is just for decorative, Trivia doesn't need to charge, he's a high technology advanced android, those no need charge anymore

he loves cats, man is his favorite animal, but when is about Strawberry- bro is neutral about him and treat him as any best friend treats each other...FRIENDLY PUNCHES AND SLAPS!

[dantakeyoman]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 | 𝐫. 𝐳𝐨𝐫𝐨

♡ 𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐚 𝐳𝐨𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

♡ * "𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒔𝒔, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕? 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏. 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏, 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅, 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍, 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒕, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒕. …𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒕." *

♡ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐰𝐰𝐰𝐰 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.

♡ * 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒚 - 𝒑𝒐𝒗: 𝒖𝒓 𝒛𝒐𝒓𝒐'𝒔 𝒈𝒇 *

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 - 𝐎𝐍𝐄

After traveling through the desert again, crossing the river, and meeting up with Karoo, the crew finally made it to Alubarna where it was time to take your stand.

The crew split up into groups of two in order to face off with the officer agents, and you, of course, were paired with the directionally-challenged swordsman.

海賊狩

"It's a straight path! How are you still wandering off?! This is the third time I've had to chase you down, you idiot!" You scolded the man, smacking him upside the head.

"Gah! Woman, will you quit it with the hitting?! I said I was sorry!" Zoro exclaimed, clutching his head painfully.

"Sorries start to lose their weigh the nth time you say 'em," you scoffed.

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes, "Where the hell are these officer guys, anyway?"

"Pfft. Up your butt and around the corner," you muttered under your breath.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" 

"Aw, you two fight like an old married couple," an unfamiliar feminine voice smirked. 

Suddenly, a large, black man came out of nowhere, practically flying past you and aggressively clashing swords with Zoro, though his arms were the blades.

Their slashes reverberated, slicing through the stone column behind you.

"Holy shit," you marveled, wide eyed.

"Miss Double Finger...," the black man growled, side eyeing the blue haired woman before you as he continued to cross swords with Zoro.

"I know, I know, you want to eliminate him, don't you? You do as you please. I'll take care of the girl," she smirked.

"Don't be so sur-." Just as you held up your mace for an attack, she sent a spike from her finger right through it, creating a gigantic hole.

This woman created a gigantic hole in your mace.

"Too bad," she taunted with a smile, "Guess the run down thing's had some wear and tear throughout the years."

You went wide eyed as you looked at the gaping hole within your weapon, dropping to your knees with tearful eyes.

"(y/n)! (y/n)! I know I'm a little late for your birthday present, but I think this'll make up for it," Corazon smiled, walking up to you with a big smile as he hid something behind his back.

You cocked a brow, crossing your arms at the man, "Coraaaaa, it's 34 days late."

"I thought you couldn't count."

"I'M SEVEN NOT STUPID!"

"Ya look pretty stupid," Trafalgar teased from his spot next to the fire, smirking.

"Shaddup, Traffy!" You huffed.

"Well, late or not I think you'll really like this. Ya ready?" Corazon smiled.

You grinned, "Ready!"

He pulled a mace out from behind his back and plopped into your tiny little hands, it making a loud clank as you dropped it from the overwhelming weight.

"A weapon?" You asked, confused.

"Not just any weapon, the last known weapon from Taiyo. I know you hate not having something to remember your village by, so I wanted to get you something that you can always have with you," he cheesed.

Your eyes glossed over, and you looked down at the weapon, lip quivering.

"Is this why you were gone for so long?"

"Yeah. The guy selling it lives pretty far away. But look! It's in great condition, right? You just gotta be careful with the-." Before he could even finish you were already on him, tackling the poor man in a bear hug.

"What's wrong?! Ya don't like it?!"

"I can't believe...you did this for me, Cora. No one's ever done something so nice for me," you sobbed into his shirt, tightly clutching onto the strings of his hat.

His face of concern soon turned to one of relief.

"Of course I did, kiddo," he smiled, stroking your hair, "I care about you. I care about the both of you brats. Giving you a little something for your birthday's the least I could do. You just gotta promise me you'll take good care of it, alright? That thing's one of a kind."

You beamed from ear to ear, "I promise!"

'Cora......I...I'm so sorry. I didn't know...I didn't see her...I wasn't paying attention.'

"YOU BASTARD!" You screamed, making everyone, even Zoro, go wide eyed.

"YOU MONSTER! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SIGNIFICANCE THIS MACE HAS TO ME! AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO PUNCH A HOLE IN IT AS IF IT'S NOTHING!"

You voice was full of pain and hurt, and your breathing was heavy, almost panting.

"(y/n)..." Zoro muttered, utterly shocked.

He had never seen you explode in such a way.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" 

You quickly shot yourself at the woman winding up your fist for one monster punch, but the second it landed, you nearly bit your tongue off trying to muffle the scream that you wanted to let out.

She turned her face into spikes before you could truly land the punch. 

"(Y/N)!" Zoro shouted, eyes wide as you pulled your impaled hand off her face.

"Focus," the man, who you believed to be Mr. 1, tutted, pushing Zoro into another column

"Did I strike a nerve?" Double Finger smirked, taking a hit from her pipe.

"I'm gonna strike oil with your head," you spat, your glare and tone practically glacial.

You quickly sent an axe kick straight to her head, impaling your foot but also sending her smashing into the ground face first.

"Told you so."

A brilliant white light appeared on your hand and foot, your injuries magically gone by the time the light dimmed to nothing.

"Wha-? But how? What devil fruit do you have?" She asked, lifting her head slowly.

"Angel-Angel fruit," you smirked down at her.

"Remember it, bitch."

You broke off two large, sword-like feathers from your wings, holding them in a swordsman's stance.

"I suggest you start running," you warned, with a smile.

The woman quickly scrambled to her feet and turned herself into a spike ball, hedgehog-ing herself away as fast as she possibly could.

Calmly, you formed the feather sword into a spear, slowly taking your aim, before releasing it at near lightning speed, impaling her right through her side.

She let out a blood curdling scream, coming out of her spiky form but still making a run for it.

You narrowed your eyes, holding your arms as if you held a bow and arrow, until one constructed of solid, golden light appeared in your grasp with three arrows drawn.

"Let's try....spine, shoulder blade, and ribcage," you stated, closing one eye to make sure you lined it up just right

And sure enough, your arrows bulls-eyed each one.

Double Finger dropped to the floor in pain, writhing in agony as you took your time slowly flying your way over there.

Once you made it, you paused and watched her plead and beg for her life, rushed apologies and promises rushing out her mouth like water.

You scoffed.

"You chose  your fate the second you caused a lick of damage to my mace," you looked down at her, your eyes not showing a single shred of remorse for what was about to come.

You made a gigantic mace out of light and wound it up, bringing it down on top of her.

She shouted in pain, the sound no doubt echoing throughout the entire country.

When the mace dissipated, she was nothing but a bloody and bruised mess, most definitely down for the count

"Bitch," you spat, turning around and walking back over to where you left your mace.

Picking it up, you placed your hands on the damaged area, running your fingers over it.

'I'll never forgive her.'

That's when you remembered.

"Zoro!"

Quickly, you zipped over to where you saw his fight move. And there you saw his opponent face down in the dirt...but Zoro face down in the dirt as well.

"Zoro!" You exclaimed, flying over and landing on your knees next to him, placing his head in your lap.

He was soaked in blood from head to toe, and was completely still, making your eyes go wide with worry.

'Shit!'

That is, until he let out an annoyed groan.

"That guy....was.......a pain in the ass," he panted, opening his eyes to look up at the sky.

"IDIOT! YOU SCARED ME!" You shouted, half angry and half relieved.

"You okay?" He asked, weakly turning to you, his eyes giving you a quick once over to double-check.

"I heard a bunch of screaming earlier but I didn't have the strength to move."

"It was the woman I was fighting, actually," you smiled, wiping some blood about to dribble into his eye.

"But we gotta get you to Chopper, ASAP."

"There's no time," he waved off, trying to sit up, "We gotta get to the town square and help."

"Just let me heal you, then," you sighed, getting ready to press your hand on his chest.

Until he grabbed your wrist.

"But your promise? You told me that you promised someone you'd never use you power for someone else's gain," he strained, the last bit of his strength clearly used to stop you.

You smiled, your heart fluttering in your chest at the fact that he remembered something from so long ago.

"Of course I gain from healing you, Zoro. I care about you and I don't want to see you in pain," you assured, resting your hand on his cheek.

"So please, let me heal you."

The faintest dusting of pink rested on his cheeks, but luckily all his blood was covering it.

He nodded, turning away so you could do your work.

Smiling, you pressed your hand flat on his chest, allowing your brilliant white light to envelope him and all of his injuries.

And when your light dimmed, he was as good as new.

"I haven't done that...in 12 years," you sighed, flopping down into his arms.

"(y/n)?" He asked, slightly concerned.

"I need....a minute. Think you can....carry me for a bit?" You panted, allowing yourself to already start drifting asleep.

Zoro cracked a smile, hoisting you up on his back, "Yeah. Get some rest. I'll-."

He was interrupted by the sound of your loud snoring, and let out a quite chuckle.

"Get some rest. I'll keep you safe."

海賊狩

"TEN!"

"Mhmm," you groaned, nuzzling into Zoro's back

"NINE!"

"Hey, (y/n)," Zoro called, shrugging his shoulders to shake you awake.

"EIGHT!"

"What?" You groaned, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, realizing that there was a whole lot of commotion going on around you.

"SEVEN!"

"Sorry to interrupt your nap but could you throw that bomb away from the city. It's in the clock," he asked, pointing up to this clock tower where these two weirdly dressed people were shouting numbers.

"SIX!"

"Fine," you sighed, hopping off his back.

"FIVE!"

"Wait...."

"FOUR!"

"Woman, we don't have a lot of time! What is it?!"

"THREE!"

"You gonna get me a big bottle of sake for this?"

"TWO!"

"YES! YES! JUST GO DO IT, PLEASE! BEFORE WE ALL DIE!"

"ONE!"

"Done."

 You zipped up there in a blink, grabbing the bomb and flying straight up into the sky, letting it go off with a deafening BOOM!

All eyes went wide, including the ones of your crew.

"(Y/N)!!!" Everyone screamed.

"I TOLD HER TO HURRY UP!" Zoro exclaimed, tightly gripping his hair as he watched the ashy remains of the bomb fall from the sky.

His heart was in his throat.

This had to be a nightmare.

There's no way you were dead right now because of some damn sake.

Just then he heard a small sound. It was faint, but very distinct.

Like the sound of someone's laughter.

And as he looked closer at the falling debris, he saw something you-shaped falling fast.

And headed straight towards him.

He tried to run but it was too late. You had already landed on the poor man's back, laughing your ass off.

"Thanks for the cushion, Zoro," you smiled.

"WOMAN, GET THE HELL OFF ME!" He shouted, kicking his legs.

"HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU NOT DEAD?!" Nami, Usopp, and Vivi exclaimed in unison, shocked.

"Huh," you wondered, placing a finger on your chin. "Not too sure."

"(y/n)!" Chopper sobbed, jumping into your lap and crying into your shirt. "I thought you died!"

"It's alright, Chopper. I'm here now, see?" You pinched his cheek.

He sniffled, "I'm still gonna give you a check-up, just to be sure."

You cheesed, "Of course, doctor."

"That's my beautiful, kind, and strong (y/n)! Did you miss me, my loveeeee?" Sanji cooed, his arms doing the noodle thing they do.

"I STILL NEED YOU TWO TO GET THE HELL OFF ME!"

海賊狩

[canonicallyobserving911]

“I can’t imagine anything more painful than going through life alone. Except maybe one thing… going through death alone.”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

New Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - 8x6 "Confessions" through mid-season finale Speculation: “I can’t imagine anything more painful than going through life alone. Except maybe one thing… going through death alone.”

Chapter 3 is now available on AO3.

“I can’t imagine anything more painful than going through life alone. Except maybe one thing… going through death alone.”

Fic Summary: Eddie feels completely alone, he isolates himself and the weight of it causes him to slip into a deep depression. Once he accepts the fact that he’ll die alone, he has a decision to make regarding his life. Buck finally gets clarity about his relationship status and once he does, realization sets in and he becomes frustrated that he didn’t see it coming. Will they finally figure out they’re each other’s person before it’s too late?

Currently 3 of 6 chapters completed: 50.5K Words; Rated: Teens and Up Audiences

One chapter will be posted at a time.

___________

Here are two snippets from Chapter 3. One is of a conversation Buck's having with a victim during a call and the other is of Eddie having a heated conversation with his mother about his son. (I don't like how the show is handling the Eddie and Chris situation so I'm fixing it.)

___________

Buck

Once Buck looks at Ed again, he can see he’s worried so he tries to get him to talk.  “Ed, uh… you said you and Chuck were firefighters until you retired but you um… didn’t say which firehouse you worked from.”

“I didn’t but it was the 142 until I went to EMS Operations and Chuck got promoted to captain.”

He keeps talking about the lives they’ve lived and Buck learns a lot more about the two of them and he’s not sure if he should call it déjà vu or future déjà vu but he knows there are lots of resemblances and similarities between him and Eddie and Ed and Chuck.

After a few moments, Buck nods and when he takes a good look at Ed and Chuck, he thinks they look like older versions of him and Eddie.  Ed has brown eyes, olive skin, dark salt and pepper hair with a curl that’s sitting on his forehead and from where he’s hanging, he looks like he might be the same height and weight as Eddie too.  Also, he’s a medic who served in the Army.  Chuck appears to be the same height and weight as Buck.  His hair is curly but it’s mostly gray and the things Ed said about him reminds Buck of Thomas' and Mitchell's relationship.

Buck looks at Ed and notices he’s fading in and out of consciousness.  “Hey… Ed, stay with me, ok?”

Ed slowly nods, then he turns his head and looks at Buck.

“Tell me about Chuck.  When did you two meet?”

∞∞∞

Eddie

“Mom, please… I don’t mean to interrupt you and I’m not trying to be disrespectful but Chris going to El Paso was supposed to be temporary.”

“But Edmundo, I told you while we were there it might be indefinitely.”

“You’re right you did but I didn’t agree to it and neither did Chris.” 

She tsks and continues.  “He’s been here living with us since May.  He’s happy and he’s thriving so I don’t understand why you have a problem with us being his primary caretakers.  He’ll always be biologically yours but we should raise him because we know what’s best and furthermore, we’ve already started the installation of the pool, so he won’t have to go to that lake anymore.”

“Mom, I didn’t tell you to do that.  The way you’re acting is like Chris is your son but he’s not.”

“I know that but he’s our grandson and his happiness is what’s important.  So… don’t drag him down with you, Eddie.”

Once again this conversation feels like a fucking déjà vu movie or some shit and this is bigger than a damn song because she said the same thing to him more than 7 years ago before he relocated them to L.A.

___________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie’s avoiding conversations with everyone at the 118 to prevent having to talk about how lonely he feels. On the other hand, Buck excitedly prepares to spend a romantic weekend with his boyfriend only to learn something he should already know.

Chapter 2 - Eddie appears to be happy whenever he’s at work but the truth is he’s masking his high-functioning depression with smiles and laughter. After another call with Chris, he falls deeper into depression and for the second time since he’s been living in L.A., he considers risking it all because he has nothing to lose. Since Buck’s got clarity on his non-existent romantic relationship, his fear of being left behind resurfaces and it causes him to spiral and he thinks he’s lost everything. In his search for answers to his relationship problems, he starts asking the questions he should have asked years ago.

Chapter 3 - Both Buck and Eddie experience déjà vu numerous times over the course of three days and during those encounters, Buck’s reminded of his own definition of love while defining moments from Eddie’s past resurface and he finally forces himself to confront them.

Chapter 4 - Will be posted soon.

Chapter 5 - Will be posted soon.

Chapter 6 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read: chapters 1 - 3 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3