#majority of those i've just heard of the name and not like actually watched anything they do tho

[lalune9x]

SCTIR Translation - Chapter 468: Even A Good Person (4)

Note: This chapter contains major spoilers for the China kidnapping arc. Additionally, understanding one of Yoojin's comments to Sung Hyunje in this chapter involves a fairly big spoiler for the Christmas Dungeon, which I've explained under the cut.

I think this chapter is very much worth reading, but those wary of spoilers may want to avoid it for now.

"Because I wanted to tell only Han Yoojin-gun." "…That you want us to part ways? That you’re leaving?" I asked. "You think too negatively."

Story context and chapter translation under the cut.

Story context: In the Christmas Dungeon based on the pre-regression world, Yoojin allowed himself to get possessed by the Crescent Moon. Using her power, he fought the others, including Sung Hyunje. Hyunje was really uhhh excited by that Yoojin and the prospect of having Yoojin seriously fight him, but that didn't exactly occur for reasons I won't spoil. Anyway, that's what Yoojin references in this chapter.

Also, I did my best to interpret the Chinese characters' names into authentically Chinese-sounding ones based on common CN to KR transliteration rules. So 황림 (Hwang Rim) = Huang Lin, and 초화운 (Cho Hwaun) = Chu Huoyun. I don't speak Chinese though, so please let me know if these names don't seem right.

---

Chapter 468: Even A Good Person (4)

"First of all…"

I swallowed dryly. The wind brushing against my back suddenly felt colder. It was already November, and the nights were getting quite chilly. When I had regressed, it had been the beginning of summer. 

"How much do you know... and since when?"

Moon Hyuna was nowhere to be seen. There were no signs that she would appear either. She wasn’t the type to leave me behind for no reason, which meant that something must have happened to hold her up.

"…Damn it, were you enjoying yourself?"

The fact that they’d even prepared to keep Moon Hyuna away meant that, in the end…

"You must have made contact before today’s banquet, at minimum. So, you were just watching? Did you just want to see me get rejected?"

"I’ll say that I didn’t see anything," Sung Hyunje said, his gaze softening slightly. "I went up to the rooftop as planned, confirmed Han Yoojin-gun’s presence, then parted ways with Moon Hyuna and came down here. So I neither saw nor heard anything from that point onward. You didn’t agree to date, by any chance, did you?"

"…No."

I had expected to get rejected anyway, but I’d been thoroughly kicked to the curb.[1]

"More importantly, you deliberately came outside and took your eyes off me. Did you trust Chloe-ssi that much?"

Even though the distance from the rooftop was quite far, if something had gone wrong, he could have attacked Chloe immediately. But to casually walk inside and take the elevator down? No way. No matter how capable Sung Hyunje was, he didn’t have x-ray vision.

"I trusted Han Yoojin-gun."

"You kept your mouth shut before, but now you’re spewing a load of bullshit. Sorry, Gyeol. Let’s cover your ears for a moment."

When I tried to cover Gyeol's perked-up ears with my hands, he shook his head. I whispered, "Just for a second," and he pouted but reluctantly used his own front paws to cover his ear tips. The sight was so cute that some of the frustration inside me eased a little.

"I knew you were shameless," I said. "So yeah, fine, I guess I was an idiot for never doubting you despite knowing that. You handed over that information really damn fast—was it since then? Did you two meet that same day?"

It was possible. Sung Hyunje had no reason to report to me about meeting Chloe or anyone else. Even now, he hadn’t actually deceived me; he simply hadn’t told me. Maybe I should be grateful that he even came forward like this instead of keeping me completely in the dark.

And yet, I didn’t just feel disappointed—I was actually angry. Sung Hyunje had been really considerate towards me lately. Maybe that was why. It seemed I had fallen under the delusion that he would help me readily and share everything with me. Even though there was no reason for him to do so.

"Well, whatever." I exhaled a long breath. "I think I was too comfortable with you, Sung Hyunje-ssi. Getting this cold shower has sobered me up a bit."

Sung Hyunje only raised his eyebrows slightly without saying anything.

"If this was a decision you made out of necessity, I can understand. So please just tell me."

If the other side had offered him a way to completely break free from the Crescent Moon, I could understand why he went along with it. Honestly, if they said they could help me get my brother back and keep all my loved ones safe, I’d be tempted too.

"I thought you would catch me," Sung Hyunje said.

"What? Are you serious? And I only said I’d understand, not that I’d let it slide. If you get in my way, do you think I’d overlook it just because it’s you? I treat you well now because we’re on the same side. But if you were on the opposite side, I’d crush you first."

I wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly until I dealt with him. Really. Not only because of his abilities but because of how much he knew. Just thinking about it sent a chill down my spine.

Two S-ranks. Grace was on my ankle, and that damn Sung Hyunje knew that fact too. The distance to the lounge was quite far, but they’d all rush over immediately if I just set off a single bomb. Was Jason also on Chloe’s side? If I excluded Moon Hyuna, there were three or four of them.

I could share the double attack buff. Sung Hyunje knew that, too. Noah’s skill wasn’t usable yet. The cooldown period was long, given how potent it was. If we could use it, our victory would be practically guaranteed, but...

"Sung Hyunje-ssi," I started.

In order for me to catch him properly... fortunately, it happened to be nighttime, and the moon was hanging over us.

"Back then, I was quite lenient with you," I said.

"If you talk like that, how can I not get excited?"

"So come clean to me. What are your real intentions?"

"I did receive a proposal," Sung Hyunje admitted.

He pulled out a letter from his inventory. Both the stationary and envelope seemed to be dungeon byproducts.

"Before the banquet started. To be precise, just before Han Yoojin-gun came down."

The tension in my body slightly eased. If it happened around that time, I could understand why he didn’t tell me. There wasn’t much time, and rather than changing plans on the spot, it made sense to confirm Chloe’s intentions first. It might be easier to make a clear judgment if I probed Chloe without knowing anything beforehand.

"Then what about Hyuna-ssi?" I asked.

"Hunter Miller doesn’t know much about the situation either. She just had no reason to refuse," Sung Hyunje said. "She doesn't accept my requests if she doesn't feel like it," he added.

Because she was an S-rank Hunter too, even though he was her Guild Leader. It was the same with Yerim; even though she was a Haeyeon Guild member, Yoohyun couldn't order her around as he pleased.

Anyway, it seemed Evelyn had been the one tasked with keeping Moon Hyuna away.

"What do you mean she didn’t have a reason to refuse? She didn’t even know the situation," I said.

"Because if there was an incident, I’d be the one to take the blame as Guild Leader. Unfortunately, it seems they didn’t clash too violently. Or perhaps they moved to another location?"

So... he set the stage for Evelyn-ssi to freely provoke a fight with Moon Hyuna? I thought Hyuna-ssi disliked Evelyn-ssi one-sidedly, but maybe Evelyn was wary of Hyuna too? And what was that "unfortunately" about? Was he fanning the flames for them to fight?

"I’m not asking how you held Hyuna-ssi back. I’m asking why."

If he’d kept her away just to show me the letter, then I’d gladly welcome it. Show it to me. But instead of handing it over, Sung Hyunje put the letter back into his inventory. And then—

"….!"

Suddenly, my wrist was grabbed. The speed was too fast for my eyes to follow. He pulled and spun me half a turn as if we were dancing, moving me from the railing to the glass door. The little fairy dragon growled softly and Sung Hyunje released my wrist. The lamps set up on the railing shone from behind him, casting a long shadow that obscured his face.

"Because I wanted to tell only Han Yoojin-gun."

"…That you want us to part ways? That you’re leaving?" I asked.[2]

"You think too negatively."

"Then why don’t you act properly? Suddenly doing something like this without saying a word, what am I supposed to think? Tell me clearly, exactly what you want from me."

"Act selfishly," Sung Hyunje said in a voice without any inflection.

"…What?"

"Or how about wiping your mind clean?"

"…What the hell are you saying?"

Chloe, who had been standing a little distance away from us, frowned. If she had a similar personality to Director Song’s, then even if she disliked me, she wouldn’t stand by and let an F-rank be threatened by an S-rank. Ironically, she might protect me even from Sung Hyunje.

"I'm saying there are those kinds of urges.[3] It’s been a while since we returned from China," Sung Hyunje said. The corners of his mouth lifted in a smile that looked like it had been drawn on. "I’ve been waiting all this time, you see. Waiting for something big to happen."

"I really have no idea what you mean."

"If I said it first, there’d be no meaning in it," he replied.

"…I genuinely don’t know what you want. Are you saying you’re waiting for me to do something?"

"Exactly."

The look in Sung Hyunje's eyes as he gazed down at me felt momentarily chilling. At the same time, I felt the urge to grab him by the collar and demand what the hell he wanted from me. Damn it, did he think he was some kind of ancient god? Dropping vague hints and waiting to see if I walked the path he wanted, praising me if I got it right?

"Why should I do what you want?"

"It’s not just me." Now his voice turned infuriatingly gentle. "It's what many people want."

"…I really want to hit you right now."

"I thought playing the role of the villain might not be a bad idea, if it was for that purpose. It might even be fun," Sung Hyunje said playfully, his attitude shifting completely from how it had been a moment before.

"Ah, you insane bastard."

I thought he’d changed, but no, he was still the same. Unpredictable, inscrutable, impossible to pin down. What did he want me to do in the first place, seriously? Did I annoy him in some way? I knew I had many shortcomings, but I’d worked hard. If he thought that wasn’t enough, despite all the hardship I went through, then damn it, just rip me open already.

"I may not understand the conversation, but please don't commit evil acts lightly," Chloe interjected with a serious expression. "Especially considering your position as the Sesung Guild Leader. The fallout would be far too great."

…To say something like that, was she really not with Park Hayul after all?

"By the way, Chloe-ssi. Do you know anything about my abduction to China?" I threw the question out vaguely. I didn’t expect her to give much of an answer.

"I am deeply sorry about that matter," Chloe said.

"…Excuse me?"

"Now this is unexpected," Sung Hyunje remarked, slightly taken aback, turning to look at Chloe.

She continued speaking calmly, as if she had never intended to hide anything in the first place.

"Officially, I came to deliver a letter to the Sesung Guild Leader. But personally, I also wanted to check on Director Han Yoojin’s condition."

"But you said you didn’t like me?"

"Personal feelings aside, Director Han Yoojin was still a victim."

"Are you admitting you had some connection to the kidnappers? Can I record this?" I asked.

"I wasn’t involved, but I didn’t put a stop to it either."

It seemed she felt guilty for knowing about it but doing nothing.

"I agreed that it was the solution with the least amount of harm. With Director Han Yoojin’s abduction, the military’s threat could be neutralized."

"…I’d like to hear more details," I said.

"Huang Lin made contact first."

…What? Well, I’d somewhat suspected it, but he really wasn’t on the military’s side.

"He warned that if the military gained full control over the Dokkaebi King, the standoff with the Murim Alliance would collapse completely. He said that would create issues. He also mentioned the potential for long-range portals to be used for invasions of other countries."

Thinking about it, it was terrifying. If undead Hunters were unleashed through long-range portals… Not to mention, there were many high-rank Hunters in China that were unknown to the public, so other countries wouldn’t even know where these high-rank undead were coming from.

"So they kidnapped me to draw in the Korean Hunters? Couldn’t they have just requested our cooperation?"

"That would have sparked an international conflict."

She wasn’t wrong. Since I’d been kidnapped, the Korean Hunters had been able to raise hell in China while everyone else turned a blind eye.

"Also, Director Han Yoojin's abduction was necessary to provide a plausible reason for the approach to Nosan Island. It would have been possible to carry out the plan to capture the Korean Hunters there."

"It was a success, but if it had failed, wouldn’t we have been the only ones sacrificed?"

"The Korean Hunters were stronger than anticipated. Originally, Huang Lin and some of his faction had planned to assist, but it turned out they weren’t needed."

…Is that why Huang Lin had just grabbed Chu Huoyun and left back then? Once the dokkaebis escaped and Yoon Yoon went berserk, his job was done?

"And you’re just telling me all this?"

"I was planning to inform you before I left the country, assuming your condition was okay. I also have a letter from Huang Lin. Would you like to receive it?" Chloe carefully watched my expression as she said this.

With a small sigh, I held out my hand. Honestly, Chloe telling me she disliked me had shocked me more than anything involving Huang Lin. Huang Lin was just a distant memory by now. Chloe pulled the letter from her inventory and handed it to me. I wondered what nonsense he had written, but put it in my inventory for the time being.

"So the conclusion is, kidnapping me was done with good intentions. Is that it?" I said.

"Of course, it was wrong," Chloe firmly stated. So then…

"Does that mean you’ve parted ways with Park Hayul’s mysterious noonim, whose name I still don’t know?"

"No."

…What? Seriously?

"I can't tell you any more details than this. If you want revenge, I understand. But I will resist." She bowed her head slightly, apologizing for the offense, and then turned to Sung Hyunje. "I will ask for your reply before I leave the country."

With that, Chloe turned, opened the glass door, and left. I felt even stranger than when the system message had appeared. Hearing that someone acted with good intentions but used twisted methods grated at my heart. It would have been easier if she had just been a bad person.

"If I may offer a piece of advice," Sung Hyunje said, turning his gaze to me. "Even good people can become enemies at any time."

"…I know. Even among those who cursed at me, I’m sure there were many good and kind people."

"And anyone trying to harm Han Yoojin-gun is an enemy, regardless of their intentions."

Was he really saying this right after he said he’d play the villain? I swallowed my question of whether that meant Sung Hyunje could be one of those people too.

---

Footnotes:

[1] The Korean word for "get rejected" (차이다) also means "to get dumped/broken up with". So yes, the ambiguity of whom Yoojin is so broken-hearted about is even stronger in Korean.

[2] "갈라서다 (to part ways)" is also used in the context of "to break up/divorce".

[3] It also sounds like he is saying "I mean that I also have that kind/those kinds of urge(s)." ("그런 충동도 있다는 거라네.")

[imaginexwwe]

SPRING BREAK 5 - Roman Reigns

TIME SKIP (MINOR)

•

REAL NAMES WILL BE USED

•

A GUILTY Y|N IS ON A MISSION TO TRACK DOWN HER BABY DADDY AND APOLOGIZE (🤣)

•

PART 4 (×)

•

"This is so cool." Tori squealed, as we pulled closer to the stadium where Extreme Rules 2016 was being held. "Like so cool."

I giggled at my best friend's excitement, playfully rolling my eyes as I glanced back at her from the passenger seat. "Calm down."

"Calm down?" Tori repeated, her words in the form of a question instead. "This is our first time seeing wrestling in person and it's at a major pay per view. So no." She added, poking her tongue out at me. "I will not calm down. You should be getting more excited if anything."

My giggling slowly eased as I sighed.

I wish I could be excited.

This is my first, well me and Tori's first pay per view like she said.

And the both of us have been getting more and more into wrestling lately after taking the time to actually admire the craft of wrestling entertainment and all.

But I'm scared.

I'm scared to see Joe after how I basically snapped on him for no reason after breaking up with Austin for good.

And it definitely doesn't help that I hadn't talked to Joe.

I mean, it's not like I called him or anything.

I've actually been too scared to call him, but still.

I'm carrying his baby.

You'd think he would call me or at least text.

Something.

"I'm sure he'll be happy to see you." Tori said bringing me out of my thoughts.

It was almost as if she knew what I was thinking.

"I hope so." I mumbled, as Colby brought his rental car to a stop.

I just...

I really, really like Joe and now that I don't have my ex breathing down my throat, clouding my judgment, I could see us being serious.

Like a real couple.

But of course it's not just up to me.

Joseph still has to forgive me.

As soon as my brother parked and took the key out of the ignition, the three of us were out of the car.

And within minutes we were walking through the arena, surrounded by wrestlers and backstage workers.

A few wrestlers I had quickly become familiar with over the couple months I'd been watching wrestling and a few that I either weren't familiar with or just wasn't a fan of.

"Oh my god." Tori half yelled, half whispered, pulling on my arm, causing me to stop dead in my tracks. "That's The Usos." She gasped out trying to low-key point to Joe's twin cousins without being caught. "I've never been one to go for brothers but those two -"

"Are happily married." Colby said, laughing as he cut my best friend off, earning a scoff from her in return.

"I was joking, idiot." Tori verbally spat at my brother as he again, led up through the crowded hallways eventually coming to a stop when we reached a area with a lot of tvs, more wrestlers and a few backstage workers.

All of whom seemed to be tuned into the current match that was taking place.

Wait.

That's Joe, I mentally confirmed with a smile forming on my face as I watched the father of my unborn baby kick ass inside the ring.

This is so cool, I thought, silently echoing Tori's earlier words.

Ugh.

He looks so good out there in his element.

His hair wet, and falling around his face.

His muscles flexing as he preformed move after move.

That sexy, yet extremely cocky smirk on his face because he knows he's the best and no one else is on his level.

And don't even get me going on his body.

"God, I love that man..." I mumbled to myself.

My eyes getting wide after I realized what I had said.

Did I actually mean that?

Do I love Joseph?

Or was I just getting lost in the moment as I stared at him through the screen infront of me?

"I'll be right back." I heard Colby say, looking from me to Tori as he snapped me back to reality. "Stay right here." He added, before quickly disappearing through the crowd of people moving in both directions.

Shit.

Did he hear that?

I bit down on the inside of my cheek.

It was a habit of mines when I'm nervous.

"I heard that." I heard my best friend whisper in my ear with a giggle as she nudged me with her elbow.

Of course.

If anybody were to catch me slipping it would be Tori.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I shot back, continuing to focus on the screen, rather than the stupid smirk I know Tori was displaying on her face right now.

"Bullshit." Tori giggled even more.

Before I could think of something to say back, the sound of applause was heard through backstage and Tori and I both found ourselves joining in.

Joe had won the match against his opponent and was proudly holding up his titles in both hands, as he stood over his latest victim.

That smirk of his...

No, Y|N, I thought, mentally slapping myself.

You can't spiral again.

"Hold up." Tori spoke up again, probably taking note of my silence. "Why are they booing?"

"Apparently it's what the crowd does for the character he's playing." I answered with a shrug. "Some heel thing, I think." I again spoke up, explaining to her what my brother had told me a few weeks ago when I was curious about the boos that were noticeable louder than the applause.

"Oh, okay."

I nodded, unconsciously placing my hand on my belly to rub circles into it. "I guess Joe will be coming back here in a few." I said, looking over at Tori.

"Yeah." She replied, nodding before looking around. "I wonder where your brother went though."

Yeah...

Where did my brother go?

"He did say he'll be right ba-"

Before I could finish what I was saying, an all to familiar theme, that I had gotten to hear plenty of, over the last month or so, rang throughout the arena.

Gasps being heard from people close by and those that occupied the crowd.

Colby.

My brother, Colby was sprinting towards the ring as Joe stopped his celebration taunting to the audience, to glance over at the entrance, a surprised expression now replacing his previous cocky one as he watched Colby come closer and closer to the ring.

Wait.

When did he have time to change into his wrestling gear?

"Holy shit." Me and Tori said, simultaneously as we continued watching, both our eyes glued to the screen.

Colby finally reached the ring, taking no time to slide inside of it, soon standing eye to eye with Joseph.

The two men exchanged a few words to each other, neither man backing down from the other.

Then in the blink of an eye, my brother had taken control of the moment, grabbing Joe and preforming a pedigree on him.

Why didn't Colby tell us he was going to be back in action tonight?

Or at least me?

I'm his sister for goodness sake.

As the drama continued to unfold out in the ring, Joe's cousins Jimmy, Jey, and Solo Sikoa could be seen coming to the aid of their Tribal Chief as Joe's wise man Paul Heyman stood outside of the ring, a look of disbelief on his face.

And only for what seemed to be two or three seconds, my brother held up both of Joe's titles, dropped them, then disappeared through the crowd, just before the Usos entered the ring tending to Joe.

Barely escaping far into the crowd before Solo could catch him.

This was not how I imagined my first pay per view but I must say, I was not disappointed.

•

Colby was the first to come through the curtain that led back into the backstage area and me and Tori wasted no time fighting for the chance to be the first to congratulate him.

Well more like excitedly question him.

"Why didn't you say your knee was healed enough for you to get back in the ring, Colby?" I asked, throwing my arms around my brother in a hug.

"If I told, it wouldn't be a surprise."

"Well that was a pretty awesome surprise, Colby." Tori said, joining in on the hug.

After a few more seconds, hugging my brother I pulled back, glancing up at him. "So, what..." I stuttered out. "What did you say to Joe out there in the ring. I mean, I couldn't really hear but it looked like it was a heated exchange."

"We were just in character." Colby said nonchalantly, with a shrug. "We weren't being Colby and Joe in the ring we were being Seth and Roman. Don't worry. I told you I was cool with you and him."

I nodded, biting down on my lip.

But you also said you were gonna kick his ass in the ring. I thought remembering my brother's words from a couple weeks ago.

Did he already have his plan in motion that night?

Or is all of this just a coincidence?

And again I'm just over thinking.

Fuck!

I just wish I knew what was sa-

Oh there's my man.

I mean my Joe.

Ugh, there's Joe.

"Hi, Joe." I called out to him, waving my hand like an idiot.

I probably looked like Forest Gump when he was waving down Jenny.

What is wrong with me?

"Hey." Joe replied, as he made his way over. "What are you doing here?" He asked awkwardly as his eyes locked on mines.

His beautiful brown eyes.

"Colby brought us out."

This is awkward.

Like this conversation spells awkward.

But why?

This isn't like us.

Me and Joe were practically strangers and we had a better conversation then, compared to this one.

Is he still mad at me?

"I uhm..." I again found myself stuttering on my words. "I've been texting and I even called a few times but you hav-"

Joe grabbed my hand, pulling me away from my brother, Tori and his cousins who weren't exactly in arms reach, but still close by.

I'm not sure they were close enough to hear but I guess Joe didn't want to take chances.

As me and Joe walked off, I noticed he was lost in conversation with his friend and fellow superstar Bayley.

There was no way he knew Joe had dragged me off.

But Tori had of course.

She stood off to Colby's side, giving me two thumbs up with a huge smile on her face.

But back to my brother...

Why was he seeming off today?

First he was quite the ride here.

Then the surprise attack on Joseph.

It's just, for someone who's supposedly okay with me and one of his best friends, he's hadn't been acting okay.

I don't know, maybe he was just trying to get back into his Seth Rollins mind set.

Cause if he wasn't, he would have brought us out with him.

No matter how much Tori and I had begged.

"Where are we going?" I asked Joe, realizing we'd been walking for what seemed like forever in a five month pregnant woman's mind. "Joe?"

Still, ignoring me, Joe finally came to a stop in an empty room.

A dark empty room.

Why are two of the men that means the most to me being so strange today?

"Sorry about that." Joe said, finally speaking up for the first time since he pulled me away from my best friend and brother. "And I'm sorry I was ignoring you. I was just still pissed from you snapping on me a couple weeks ago." He explained, making me feel guilty all over again.

Joe flicked on the lights and all of a sudden my eyes had to adjust to the brightness, as I slowly looked around, immediately realizing this was the room Joe is sometimes seen in backstage while he's either yelling at his cousins or watching his cousin's on going match.

Well one of them anyways, considering Smackdown isn't filmed at just one arena so there's no way it's just one room.

His private locker room.

Yeah, that's it.

"Can I?" I asked, pointing to one of the chairs, practically power walking to it the second Joe nodded.

"How are you?" Joe asked, sitting down in the empty chair next to mines. "How's the baby?"

"I'm good." I answered, looking down at my belly. "And the baby's good." I said, answering Joe's second question. "He or she actually kicked last night." I giggled, glancing over at Joe.

I felt my lips turn up into a smile as I remembered that amazing feeling of those little kicks.

It even had me questioning if I still wanted to go through with the adoption.

Or if I wanted to keep this baby.

I mean, as much as I hate to admit it because I was so sure of my plan...

I have been getting used to this pregnancy and the idea of having a mini Joe.

Or even a mini me.

"Could I feel?" Joe asked as I quickly nodded.

"Of course." I verbally answered him, watching as he stood from his chair and came over to squat in front of me. "But don't expect to feel anythi-" I stopped talking, as a gasp escaped my lips.

The little kicks were back.

Okay wow.

Scratch that.

That was a big kick.

"That's our baby." Joe gasped, smiling up at me as I smiled down at him. "We made that."

Again I nodded, feeling tears stinging at my eyes.

Yeah we did.

"Either it doesn't want daddy's hand on me or it is excited to finally feel your touch, cause that's the biggest kick I've felt so far." I joked, giggling again while also making Joe laugh.

"I'm gonna take it as it likes my touch." He replied, as he continued rubbing my belly.

I sighed dreamily as I continued to watch Joe. "I love your touch too." I sighed out, my eyes widening for the second time today as I realized I had embarrassed myself yet again.

What is it with me and this man?

At least I didn't make a mistake and admit my love for him again, in front of him this time.

Tori hearing me was enough.

And maybe Colby if he'd heard.

"Please ignore that." I mumbled, feeling heat rise to my cheeks. "I didn't mean for you to hear that."

"I'm happy I did." Joe replied, standing up again and going back to the chair he was previously sitting in. "With how you been acting these few months, I was starting to think I was more into you than you were into me."

I shook my head.

How could he think that, when he looks like he does?

You'd think that man never has to worry about a girl being into him.

And don't even get me started on how great of a personality he has.

Basically Joseph's the whole package.

And more.

"I'm sorry." I finally apologized. "Especially for the way I snapped on you a couple weeks ago. It's just even though I wasn't really into my ex, I still, for some reason was hurt finding out he was still cheating on me and when you asked if I left him for you, it just set me off. And I know you didn't mean it like that, when you asked, I just couldn't help but take it that way." I rambled as Joe quietly listened. "Can we just blame it on the hormones?" I asked, with a playful pout.

"This time." Joe answered.

And for a few minutes everything just seemed right between us again.

Joe and I were laughing.

Catching up on what's been going on in our lives

It was like my last day in Miami again, before I had to say bye to the man I've quickly come to love.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask." I said, still looking over at Joe. "Why didn't you tell me that you had talked to my brother about us..?"

Joe raised an eyebrow at me, giving me a confused look.

Like, a really confused look.

"I don't know what you're talking about, babe."

OMG he called me babe again.

I don't think he's called me babe since Miami or when I last saw him at my house.

It just feels so right hearing him call me th-

Wait.

Did he say he didn't talk to Colby about us?

"The last time you were in Iowa, Joe." I said, nervously. "Colby said you came to see him at Black and Brave and told him about us." I added, hoping to jog his memory.

"Y|N." Joe replied, letting go of my hand that he'd been holding for a while now, using his thumb to stroke small circles onto it, his facial expression showing signs of nervousness also. "I didn't know your brother knew about us, that's why I brought you in here so we could talk. And if he does, he definitely didn't find out from me. I haven't even talked to him since I've been back on the road."

My heart rate began increasing.

And my throat all of a sudden felt dry.

Very dry.

This would explain why Colby had been acting weird since the second Tori and I had asked if we could come to the show with him.

I'm betting he wasn't as okay with me and Joseph like he said he was to me that night.

He probably didn't really want me to come here because he was worried about me seeing Joe but knew it'll be more suspicious to say we could come with him.

Colby had lied.

But why?

And if Joseph didn't tell him...

Who did?

•

���

•

T A G S -

@southerngirl41 @alyyaanna @seeingstarks @harleescreepycreations @mikaylathenerd5

[madsworld15]

Letter to Gavin Creel

Dear Gavin,

I was in the middle of a major website project at work on Monday when I heard that you had passed away. For the first time in my life, I actually sobbed hysterically at the death of someone famous. When I say sobbed hysterically, I mean unable to focus on anything because my eyes were too wet and my chest was too tight. I hadn’t cried like this since the day my grandmother died four years ago.

You see, I don't usually get this visibly upset when people in the public sphere pass away. Sure, I was sad when people like Sondheim, Betty White, and Robin Williams died. But I've never been so upset that I couldn't function. That is just your impact on the world, for me and so many others.

The last time I saw you in person was in 2017 at the stage door of She Loves Me. Despite it having been years since then, I believe that if we’d met at a stage door or other event today, you’d still recognize me. Because that is the type of person you are. I guess were, now that you’ve passed, but I can’t find it in myself to talk of you in the past tense. It just doesn’t seem real that someone so full of life and immortal is no longer here with us, dancing through this thing called life.

You don’t know this, but I got to see you perform in my favorite musical, Into the Woods, when the tour came to Philadelphia in April of last year. It was a last-minute decision that fell on a weeknight, so I couldn’t stay late afterward to stage door. Of course, I thought to myself that I’d have plenty more opportunities to see you work your craft. Now that you’ve passed, I wish I had said “fuck it” to having to be at work the next day and stayed to chat with you.

Like so many of those who looked up to and admired you, I first discovered you when I was in HS watching Eloise at the Plaza. As a child, I had adored the Eloise books, so naturally, I was excited to see a film made about the precocious girl. Back then I had no idea who you were, just that your name was attached to the character of Bill. I adored Bill and his silly, over-the-top theatrics and became obsessed with watching the movie just for him – though Eloise was great, too.

Then, as a freshman in college, I started talking to this person from New York City through a mutual fan group on Facebook. She encouraged my very limited knowledge of musical theatre and introduced me to so many new things. One of them was a bootleg recording of Hair from 2009. The energy you exuded on stage was palpable, even from the grainy 2000s video.

At that point in my life, I was sure I would never get out of Kansas. I knew I was different and didn't fit in with the other people in my small-town Kansas community. By the time I left and moved to NY in 2013, I still wasn't sure what my identity was, but I was certain I belonged to the queer community. Upon arriving in New York, I quickly found myself immersed in the musical theatre community there.

One of the first shows I saw was The Book of Mormon. I would visit the theatre at least once a week, sometimes even twice. I didn't really have the finances to do that, but my mental health demanded comfort, and that show was where I found it. So, once or twice a week, I would play the lottery or do standing room.

By the time you moved from The Book of Mormon on the West End to Broadway, I was ready for you but also hesitant to love you because your predecessor, Nic Rouleau, had had such a profound impact on my mental health and self-worth. From the moment I met you, though, I knew I could never have any feelings other than love for you.

Sure, I already knew I loved you as a performer from the years of watching bootlegs of your performances, listening to your EPs, and loving you in Eloise. However, my connection and attachment to The Book of Mormon was so great that each time the leads switched, I had a hard time adjusting.

It was different with you, though. You immediately took me under your wing and made me know I was important to you. That first night, you forced me to hand over my phone for our photo, and you scrolled through filters until you found the one you wanted. Then you insisted we do silly faces, that serious faces weren't needed. It was as if you knew I needed comfort more than a professional stage door selfie.

Over the course of the year you were part of the Broadway company, we interacted many times. Every time you saw me, your face would light up, you'd insist on a silly photo, and then you'd ask me if I was doing okay and how work was going. You genuinely wanted to know. It was something that got me through those extremely dark days of working a job I hated but not knowing any other path I could go on.

I didn't ever tell you this, but those moments kept my suicidal thoughts during that time at bay. Knowing I could swing by the stage door at any time, whether I'd seen the show or not, and talk to you was what got me through. We never talked about anything profound or world-changing, but you asking me about my day and encouraging me to find my passion changed my whole life.

After you left Mormon, I didn't see you again until the final days of She Loves Me. I fully expected you to not remember who I was, but you did. Once again, your smile grew at the sight of me, and you made a joke while wiggling your face to emphasize the mustache on your face. I wish I'd taken more time to tell you about my life that day. To connect more with you, but I didn't.

I had no way of knowing that would be the last time I would see you perform for many years. Not long after that, my finances took a major hit, and I moved to NJ, making trips to Broadway a bit harder to accomplish. So, I wasn't able to see you in Waitress or Hello, Dolly. But, man, did I want to. I did have the chance to watch clips of you in these shows and bask in the glory of your singing voice and stage presence, even if it was from afar.

I started to understand myself more clearly and made friends who helped me find an identity that made sense to me. Then, 2020 hit, and I suffered quite a few losses in my family. I struggled to keep my head above water, but my queer friends reminded me that there were things worth living for. Through these friendships, I started to find my way out of the mess I was in and found joy in musical theatre again. I started to listening to your personal music and the cast albums of your shows. It wasn't the only music I listened to, but it helped me get through the most.

Then, Into the Woods happened. By this time, I had started to be a co-leader in a local Tri-State Queer group. We would all get together and talk about TV, Broadway, Music, and Movies. It was so rejuvenating. A group of us got tickets to see Into the Woods on Broadway, but I couldn't be part of that due to finances. However, my best friend works for Ticket Philadelphia, so he promised that I could go with him when it came to Philadelphia on tour.

And that brings us to the close of this letter. I got to see you exude that joy all over the stage one last time in Into the Woods on Tour. It was one of the best nights of my life. Your performance of Agony will live on in my memories forever. As will your performance of I Believe in The Book of Mormon.

I never got around to telling you this in person, so I will say it now: Thank you so much for all the moments in my life that your presence or your voice got me through. Your passion for life and love was always awe-inspiring, and it's what I will carry with me through the years. We all deserved to see you do so much more in the world of Broadway, musical theatre, and beyond. Life truly is unfair, but I'm grateful for what I was able to experience with you.

Rest easy, dance often, and spread your sunshine from the beyond.

Mads

[imperatorcaesaraugustus]

you know what time it is! it's the long-awaited (?) return of Thought D: Thoughts on Hot D, where i tell everyone what's going through my head immediately after watching House of the Dragon.

season 2, episode 1

love the new intro. much better than the season 1 intro

there's no Daeron (Viserys and Allicent's third son in the books, who was being fostered by his great uncle in Oldtown). this is a massive disappointment for me, and i have little hopes of it being rectified

it would have been nice to see more of Cregan Stark and anything at all of Jayne Arryn. really expected Jace to spend more time in the north than that. still, liked what i saw. love that they mentioned how the dragons refused to cross the wall

good to know that criston cole is still... performing his duties

Alyn of Hull!

was that Hugh Hammer in the throne room? what the hell is he doing in King's Landing?

it seems incredibly risky for Rhaenyra to be flying unaccompanied in the stormlands after they've declared for Aegon

Larys' motives are a complete mystery to me right now, which is very book-accurate

those balls in the small council room have been nothing but a liability. no wonder they're not there by the time Game of Thrones happens

i was not expecting to see Mysaria or her Accent this episode, but i'm glad we did because i like Mysaria and her Accent

more of the runtime was Blood and Cheese than i was expecting

(for those unfamiliar with Fire and Blood - which, to be clear, is entirely reasonable - the killing of Jahaerys in the books is done by a butcher and a rat catcher. their names are unknown, so the book refers to them as Blood and Cheese. no names were given in the show, so i will also refer to them as such)

changing the intended target to Aemond (it was always supposed to be one of Aegon's sons in the book) is interesting. it makes Daemon a less detestable character (which was certainly unintentional, given what i've heard about the showrunner's opinions on Daemon), but gives a weird amount of agency to Blood and Cheese

"they have different rat catchers for upstairs" what is this? why is this? what are you on about?

surely they did not have to walk directly across the throne room. surely there was another route

this assassination is such a clusterfuck

i didn't realize until now that Aegon doesn't have a younger son in the show like he does in the book

in the book, Helena is forced to choose which of her sons - Jahaerys or Maegor(?) - gets killed. she chooses Maegor, so they kill Jahaerys. changing that so instead they can't differentiate Jahaerys and Jahaera definitely makes them less cartoonishly evil and more weirdly hapless

actually this whole Blood and Cheese thing is weirdly hapless from start to end

can't believe she just walks in on criston fucking Allicent. surely they would have taken any amount of precaution to prevent people from doing that

so, when Allicent is in the sept, she says three names as she lights the candles: Alerie Florent, Viserys Targaryen, Lucerys Velaryon. now, i am more likely than most people to recognize an obscure Ice and Fire name drop, but i do not know who the fuck Alerie Florent is. based on the fact that she is a) apparently dead, b) presumably important to Allicent, and c) from a major house of the Reach, i assume she's Allicent's mother, but i don't recall that name ever having been given before now

anyway, i'm still enjoying the show and can't wait for next week

[nientedal]

Disclaimer: I'm speaking as a person who's only been in the Megamind fandom for almost 8 years, so I'm not, like, an OG 2010-2011 fan. HOWEVER... I find it interesting that from what I've been seeing, the people loudly complaining about the sequel content are mostly newer fans. People who've been fans for at least 6+ years are hyping this UP and being optimistic despite the flaws. I'm just like "u haven't been here that long, can we stop shitting all over it before it's even PREMIERED?? GOD"

It really is funny that the vast majority of people who are screaming like Dreamworks shot their dog are, yeah, people whose names I've never heard. Not on Tumblr, not on Twitter, not in AO3 or ffnet comments. Don't get me wrong, I've seen a couple of the old Livejournal crew who are unhappy, but even they haven't been spewing vitriol (that I've seen). For the most part, those of us who are actually active in this fandom are ecstatic! And it's not a length of time thing, either - there's new folks kicking around who are just as excited as the rest of us!

I'd say I hate to say it, but I'd be lying - the people who are the angriest about Megamind Rules are the people who wouldn't care if it existed or not in the first place. They're people who watched Megamind and enjoyed it, but didn't enjoy it enough to be excited for more unless it meets their personal standards. They didn't enjoy it enough to look for fanworks, they didn't enjoy it enough to say anything. I'll buy that they do care...but they don't care enough to try to see any joy in this.

They don't care enough to look anything up before sneering at the Doom Syndicate for being a "retcon" despite the massive amount of material out there supporting both the Doom Syndicate's existence and this plot (big "thank you" to some chucklefuck YouTuber in particular for that one). They don't care enough to stop and consider if there might be budget concerns for an IP Dreamworks was totally radio silence on for more than a decade. They don't care about who's writing it, or who's on the production or voice acting teams. They only care about jumping on the hate train, and I am FURIOUS about it, because I am scared to death that Dreamworks is gonna shitcan this before it even gets released. If that happens, I will be a level of angry that defies description. Because the people who did not fucking care one way or the other will have killed it, and the people who loved this story enough to be excited to see more will have nothing. Again. Newer people in this fandom who are bitching might not have the background to realize this, but if this is killed right out of the gate, THERE WILL BE. NOTHING. ELSE. When I say "radio silence" I mean Dreamworks all but refused to even LOOK at Megamind, for more than a decade.

That's not even getting into how much of a slap in the face it would be to the team who worked so hard on this. If anything could gut me hard enough to kill my desire to write anymore, it'd be that; I can't even imagine how the writers and voice actors and animators might feel in that event. I hope we never find out.

But yeah, uh, tldr: can we not fucking shit on something that literally has not even premiered, seriously. Can these joyless shitbirds PLEASE do something that sparks joy for them instead of shitting on something that sparks joy for others, goddamn. The animation looks fine, y'all are just mean.

[i-who-has-never-had-a-name]

Books I will never read

1. Anything by Haruki Murakami, but especially Norwegian Wood.

I've read Kafka on the Shore halfway through and stopped. Also that one handjob scene....no. why. He's a huge misogynist who I do not want to support. I've heard about that one scene in Norwegian Wood with the father's picture...yikes. I like literary fiction the most, which means I want well-written characters meaning all of them should be well-written and have a soul, yes even the female ones. I saw that one picture of pseudo intellectual Harry Styles being in bed reading Norwegian Wood...at this point why? Why do we not question this? I sometimes wonder if this is all an inside joke I'm not into.

2. Any CoHo/Emily Henry/Tiktok romance book

No explanation needed. I'm in a happy relationship and I don't have a son with big balls.

3. Any splatterpunk book (Eric LaRocca's books, Playground)

I like disturbing books, I have nothing against brutal/disgusting scenes and such, but it has to have a purpose. You cannot write such sick, twisted things just for shock value, because you are a writer and should at least be a good one. Splatterpunk writers don't care about that. They write the most sick, twisted things that a human could come up with. It's not revolutionary but tasteless shock. Those people don't love literature, they love gore. It doesn't help that the vast majority of those authors are men and that they let their female and their younger characters experience a lot of pain. They get away with their blatant sadism and sexism by categorizing it as "splatterpunk".

4. That Icebreaker book

Not just bc it's a tiktok romance book, but specifically bc it reminds me of that one tiktok named Kierra I think who was widely sexist and rude and evil to a hockey player's wife just bc she said she didn't want her to make anymore sexual comments about her husband and the father of her child. Wild. You should definitely look into it.

5. A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

Torture Corn really. Straight women writes queer male characters are tortures them. We've all seen it, really.

6. Any self help book

Pure Scams. It is capitalist propaganda that your problems are based of your material conditions but are purely isolated from the rest of the world and as long you buy my book in which I give you a list of what to do, you won't be happy. When you give me your money, you'll be happy, really!

It definitely doesn't help that most of those authors are white, male and rich.

7. Books with queer male romance written by straight women

I'm not saying straight women don't have the capability to write well-written male queer characters, I'm just saying that there's a pattern...

I've come to this conclusion after reading the beloved "Song Of Achilles". There's a lot of critique I have with this book, mainly it's portrayal of queerness.

8. Any Books by J.K Rowling, including Harry Potter

Transphobic asshole and not that good of a writer.

9. Tolstoi's works

I'm sure he is great writer. Sometime when I'm old and grey I'll try reading War and Peace. But now, I'm too dumb for that.

10. Any of those celebrity authobiographies

I have my own life. I truly don't care and if I do I'll just watch some YouTube video instead of wasting my money. They're so painfully ghost written. Hate ghost written books, they can be so soulless. You can't really get an objective look at things bc the books are obviously biased. Look at that Prince Harry biography. You feel bad for him bc his wee-wee got frostbite without him actually addressing his partaking in the iraq war.

[goodluckclove]

Edgar Gallows Blog Takeover - Intro Post!

Uh - hi! Hello!

I don't really know what I'm doing here or why I'm doing it, but Scott told me there's no way he's trying this unless he sees me do it first. And if Scott's not doing it Tenzin won't be comfortable enough to try either - really, Katy's the only one here comfortable chatting to strangers. It's a delicate web otherwise.

But yeah, my name is Edgar. I'm 30 and I live in New Orleans. Scott and I looked up what people put in intro posts like these and a lot of them had genders and pronouns, so let's just say I have both of those and not go any deeper than that.

I've worked in a few tourist-y traps in NOLA, mostly back of house doing prep and assembly work. Right now I'm a bartender and I'm great at it. I'm the best in the world. I've won awards. You can lie on the internet without consequence, right?

I should say that I am ex-Academy. I won't say which one for the sake of anonymity (And - let's face it - my own safety as well). I wasn't expelled or discharged or whatever. Technically I wasn't even released. I don't practice anymore, or really keep up with the news and politics of Academic witchcraft, so don't expect me to get into it unprompted.

Interests

I don't think there's a genre of music that I don't love, but I'm a big fan of funk, disco, new wave and Japanese city pop. Talking Heads is my favorite band of all time.

I'm a self-taught chef. I think I'm pretty good at it. I also bake, which I am less good at. Those skills do not transfer like you might think they do.

Scott's looking over my shoulder and he's telling me to mention that I like birds. I do. I feel weird saying that because I don't really know that many bird facts for anything other than my few favorites (Goldfinches and Buntings). I just like looking at them.

I say that I play video games but the only video game I'm remotely good at is Old School Runescape, which I don't think is that cool to say.

Things to Ask me About?

I would love to talk about cooking or food. This could be to give advice, recipe suggestions, food pairings, knife skills - ask me something as simple as how to scramble an egg and I'd be happy to share my technique.

In regards to the Academy, I will say that I'm Legacy and so I never actually enlisted. If you're thinking of going down that path at your own branch, I worked at the University of mine as a librarian for maybe five years, so I got a good perspective as to what the process looks like. I'm open to offering insight and tentative guidance if you aren't weird.

Scott says I should mention that I'm also a birthright. He's really the one that has more authority to talk about that since he actually grew up in a witch town, but apparently he has a lot of opinions on how I should do this for someone who barely understands how the internet works.

He's watching me type now. Fuck it, you can ask me about Scott too if you want. I assumed I was straight until about a week ago. Now I seem to have bagged myself an ethereal magical boyfriend. He saw me use the voice command on my Pixel and now he makes me say goodnight to my goddamned cell phone before we go to sleep. I love him.

DNI List

I heard admission rates for Academies hit a major spike recently, and I'm just putting it out there that I really would rather not debate anyone super invested in the "mission statement" of their local University. The newer members never seem to realize that the culture of the Academy differs like crazy depending where you are, and because of that there really isn't the kind of centralization they claim exists to Junior Members.

Also - and this might be a divisive take - but I was born into this world. I spent decades of my life in the Academy. I truly do not care about the opinion of someone who trained for two years after joining straight out of high school. I won't block you, but I will send your username and any comments you make to my friend who is far more Anti-Academy than I am (Hi, Katy).

Anyway that's all! I look forward to posting things today and maybe talking to some new people! I hope everyone is nice and not weird and I do not regret this happening!

who is this? why is this happening? check out the pinned post on my blog to learn more!

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

Just happened by chance upon the recent Penguin Classics collections of Marvel superheroes comics:

It's a relatively nice idea (terrible font choice), but as I was scrolling through the blurb for the books they put together, I couldn't help notice something that linked up all the people they'd prominently drafted in to write introductions for each of the volumes:

That's ALL the photos on the page, by the way: I've not cherry-picked. No pictures of Stan Lee or Jack Kirby or Steve Ditko or John Romita or any of the other writers and artists who actually dreamed up and worked their whole lives long on these timeless stories, only the random, ill-fitting, bottom-of-the-barrel-scraping mediocrities you've never heard of, chosen exclusively for their skin colour and gender, explicitly avoiding platforming any of the pale white dudes who have always cared most passionately about the artform and the fandoms and still make up the great majority of their audiences today.

Do any of those people above look like they even read comic books? How big, do you think, is their comic book collection? How many rooms of their houses are taken up with them?

If only all this repugnant race-obsessed shit were not SO. Fucking. Predictable. You know it's coming even before you click the link or read the article or turn on the TV show. You can set your watch by the bullshit. The publishing world, the media, the movie and TV industries, the education system: they've all been infiltrated and brainwashed by the far-left agenda that hates the west, hates white people and hates men. The lumpen drones who've risen to all the positions of authority within them are utterly incapable of making anything as great and universally loved as those white guys from the past they hate so much. It must eat them up terribly that all they can do is try make money off the beloved works of the past while ignoring, demeaning, downplaying or openly tearing down the great men who made them and anyone who looks like them today.

To borrow a phrase from the green activists of yesteryear: Art is not dying; it is being killed. And the people killing it have names and addresses and high-up jobs at corporations you can boycott and refuse to give your money to. So that's what I will choose to do.

[rosehippiefield]

For the ask game I am curious about 20, 23 and 24 (yttd and undertale)

20. your very first fandom!

My first fandom was Fairytail and gosh I have so many memories about it. While I have my reservations about fanservice and story plot holes, the power of friendship actually (mostly) made sense and the found family that is the guild is very sweet. I was mesmerized by all the magic types and many likable characters. I even used to tell fanfics to my friend who got me into it (yes, "tell" because I had no idea what fanfic was, so I just imagined random stories. I never thought them out or finished them but it was incredibly fun).

However, I didn't really see the fandom until later, when third season came out. It was light-hearted, memey and fixated on power scales and ships. I didn't exactly join it because I never interacted with anyone (given some hot takes of mine maybe it's a good thing) but there was plenty of material to read and analyse. And I was obsessed so I count it as my fandom

Also my second most powerful hyperfixation, Freed Justine. It was awkward waiting for this guy to appear at least somewhere while majority of fandom was into ships and main characters. But then I saw that someone wrote fanfics about him, there were plenty of fanarts. My thirst for information was more or less satisfied. He became so inspiring that I ended up creating oc based on him (partly because I didn't like his canon character development but hey I shouldn't be negative here)

23. the fandom you're curious about because of a mutual

There are many like Dungeon Meshi, Omori, Parties are for losers and School bus graveyard

Dungeon Meshi seems comforting for some reason, maybe due to Senshi (that's his name, right?) and how he promotes healthy eating habits. And memes about characters being different kind of autistic. If I join this fandom know it was power of autism all along

I know some events from Omori but not the whole story. I heard it's depressing so I don't want to be sad, I have real life and yttd already. But at the same time I'm intrigued by its fighting system and well, sometimes I'm attracted to tragedy

Parties are for losers is something I have googled and read about but ultimately I didn't watch anything. So maybe once I'll finally give it a try

And I have read a bit of school bus graveyard but I decided that one hyperfixation is enough. Even though it is an interesting webtoon.

Just wait, my dear mutuals, I'll join these fandoms someday. Probably

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life? (Yttd)

Right now I adore our fandom! It is so cozy and funny and I'm glad to be part of it! Honestly, before I began posting I was afraid of hate or that my takes were wrong etc, but people were far more accepting. I argued only once about my opinions and even then it was a civilised discussion. Some tumblrinas followed me, I followed back and I got to know those people better. So even if my life is hard I know that there are people here that care. It's heartwarming to know

If I'm talking about yttd as a game it's going to be too long but in a nutshell it really makes me think. What is good, what is bad, what is justified? What makes us human, what is weakness and what is strength? It is not black and white, yttd shows how different perspectives define our understanding of these concepts. And one of many conclusions I've come to is that we should believe in ourselves and try to stay true to our beliefs as much as possible

Also, English language practice. English is nowhere near my mother tongue so I make ungodly amount of mistakes. But with practice I am improving little by little. And I'm grateful that there's absolutely no semblance of hate due to grammatically incorrect sentences and the like

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life? (Undertale)

I didn't actively participate in it but it was so creative! So many AUs, so many ideas. I loved listening to musicals (which also helped me understand English orally). I am still inspired to do something like this. I dream of creating musicals for my favorite games (I've tried to write lyrics for battle of wits from Exit/corners but I have no idea if the result is fine). And some of my ocs come from Undertale's souls because I loved the concept of souls and their abilities

This comforting game also made me think about forgiveness and the whole complexity of monsterkind's situation. I really sympathise with overwhelming majority of them. Is violence an option? Is it the last resort? Such lessons are impactful even if you're the one choosing the answer

[calliethetrekkie]

Star Trek TOS S01EP15-16: The Menagerie

I decided to review both parts in the same review. It's the same story, so I'd rather be able to go over it all at once. Plus at least half of it when put together is footage from the first pilot, The Cage. I also want to note that, at the time of writing, I have NOT watched Strange New Worlds yet, so I won't be mentioning/considering anything from it or its portrayal of Pike and crew for this review. Anyway, that should do it for window dressing, let us get underway.

Original Thoughts

I'm not even going to try and copy/paste and re-edit both of them to add onto here. This is going to be long enough. You can read my old watchthrough here, but the short version is I liked Part 1, didn't like Part 2 as much, and overall I liked it for the Spock content but it was meh otherwise.

Rewatch Thoughts

God, this took me way too long to get done...

So this episode is the first and only two-parter in TOS. We wouldn't get another one in Star Trek until TNG. One thing kind of weird about this episode is that it's more or less Spock on court martial... after we'd just done a court martial episode for Kirk. When I watched these in the airing order, I think one reason I didn't care for Court Martial is because it felt like we'd 'been there, done that' with The Menagerie, a feeling that didn't repeat in production order which let me enjoy that episode a lot more.

I thought long and hard about how I wanted to organize this. How much I wanted to go into regarding both the actual episode and The Cage footage. It's part of why this review took so long. So after thinking it over... there's not much about the pilot footage that I have to say. It's there to give context for why Spock is doing what he's doing and that's really it. I think I'd rather wait to talk about Pike and maybe the pilot itself in-depth after I've seen SNW, which from what I've heard, adds some additional context. But I'm not there yet, so all I'll say is that the pilot footage really made things drag on what would have otherwise been Court Martial: Spock Edition otherwise hey ST people, if you ever do TOS again, give us the McCoy court martial episode please.

The most I have to say about the pilot footage is that it made the episode a chore to sit through. It's not bad, it's even kind of fun to see the early stuff and cast like Pike, Una, and a younger Spock. Seriously look at Spock's reaction when he and Pike look at the alien plants, its adorable! But it goes on for so long, especially in Part 2, that I lost complete interest in paying attention until it went back to the court martial. At that point we just want to know why Spock chose Talos IV to go to, not to watch an episode within an episode. I know they did it most likely as a cost-saving maneuver, but that doesn't change the fact that it just drags when they could have just... you know, had Spock explaining himself or whatever. It's the only reason that this is a two-parter at all. Again, I get it, but I kept tuning out during those scenes until we finally got to the end of it and we finally understood Spock's plan.

The present-day parts, however, were very much able to keep my attention. We're here at about the mid-way point of the first season, and to say that Spock's actions are a shock is putting it lightly. Spock has been nothing but loyal and by the book the whole series. Just last episode, he defended Kirk despite the evidence to the contrary and did everything possible to find the evidence to clear his name. We already questioned his loyalty in Balance of Terror, but the vast majority of the cast never questioned it, and any possible doubt was brought to a close at the end of it. But in fairness, this is very much a different dilemma as it concerns his former captain. One that he'd been as loyal to as he is to Kirk now. It brings a very unique problem for our favorite Vulcan.

Personally, I find Spock's whole plan... well, convoluted as Hell. I know it's to justify using the pilot footage, and it does add stuff to make it make some sense like Talos IV being forbidden to all ships. But it still feels ridiculous that Spock had to go to these extreme lengths to take Pike to Talos. Honestly, I'm iffy about having Pike taking to Talos at all. I mean... it's just an illusion. He's pretty much been put in a guided cage where he can pretend that he's still physically well, even though that's very much not the case. I guess it's better than his fate of being confined to that chair and only able to blink a light to communicate. But... I don't know, I keep thinking about it and I just don't like it. It feels messed up. But I guess Spock felt that it was the best place for Pike, where he could at least have some kind of happiness.

That said, it says a lot about Spock. The man put absolutely everything on the line just to help his former captain. He outright said at the start that he knew that it was mutiny and that he would be facing the death penalty if caught. But he doesn't care what becomes of him. All that matters is completing the task and getting Pike to Talos IV. Even regarding Kirk, he clearly didn't like going against his back and was not at all happy that his actions inadvertently convicted Kirk as well. Something that I believe that he wanted to avoid... unfortunately for him, Kirk doesn't take having his ship/command taken over from him well no matter who does it or why. Whoops. But still, for all the 'unfeeling, logical Vulcan' bravado, he sure as Hell had no problem dropping all of that here.

Kirk is angry and upset that his First Officer and friend would do this. As I said, he hates it when anyone threatens or endangers his command. Especially at this point in the series. We saw him get mad when Spock pried into him in The Conscience of the King, but this is even worse. As soon as he's back on the Enterprise, he hates it because it means court martialing Spock, which he doesn't want to do. He's willing to give Spock the chance to clear up everything, but he's also angry that Spock is holding things back from him and even lied to him. The last scene of Part 1 is him having Spock thrown in the brig because he won't just tell him why he's done what he's done. I don't even think that he cares too much about his own possible fate. He's certainly unhappy about it, but moreso about Spock because he can't make sense of it and Spock won't talk, only pleading guilty to everything. Why? Why won't his First Officer talk to him? Why go through all of this behind his back? Why allow himself to risk death? He doesn't know, and he can't stand it but can do nothing about it. He can do nothing but let the answer reveal itself, everything out of his control. Sure once it all comes together he's glad and clearly forgives Spock, but I'd imagine that he had a loooot to say when they had that talk later.

McCoy is really only relevant in Part 1, but what he got was so freakin' good. Spock fabricating orders is just impossible in his mind. He is steadfast in his belief that Spock would never lie or deceive them. Sure he ended up being wrong, and about why (Vulcans not being able to lie is the biggest lie in this whole show) but the fact that he doesn't doubt Spock at all and is the one to tell Jim this when he's questioning as he did in The Conscience of the King is so freakin' good. When he realizes that Spock did commit mutiny? And when Spock tells him to have him arrested? You can tell that he doesn't want to do it, let alone believe it. It really sucks that McCoy has no part after that because I can only imagine how much he would have had to say and try to make sense of, especially with also reasoning it with Kirk. But for what we did get, it's good stuff. And especially after The Galileo Seven, it's good to see that McCoy is still loyal to Spock and believes in him despite all the tension in that episode (and even after Court Martial where he got mad at Spock for seeming to not care about the situation, even though it was brief).

Aside from that... I really don't have a lot to say. The episode is okay. Really, everything in the first half of Part One I really enjoyed. It was tense and made me want to keep watching just to make sense of it all. It's when the pilot footage starts that things begin to bog down. Part Two is even more guilty of this until around the last few minutes, and like I said I'm pretty uncomfortable with the ending. It does a lot for Spock's character, adding more depth and showcasing his loyalty to both his old captain and his current one, as well as some nice bits for Kirk and McCoy. Heck, even bits like Uhura being in disbelief by all of this are really good. The episode's weakness is just going for far too long when this could have all been resolved in a few minutes and feels contrived to begin with. I'd still pick this episode over ones like Mudd's Women and the vast majority of Miri, but like with Miri I'd only want to watch it for certain parts (though unlike Miri it's because I'm bored, not squicked out). It's fine, and that's all I've got left to say about it.

Original Ratings: 4/5 (P1), 3/5 (P2), 3.5/5 (Both) Rewatch Ratings: 7/10 (P1), 5/10 (P2), 6/10 (Both)

[My TOS Reviews]

[TOS S1 Reviews]

[Previous Review] / [Next Review]

[acourtofthought]

What do you think of Elriels using this video

https://youtu.be/XrC23s33UxI

Timestamps: 24:55, 28:50, 29:50, 30:50

as confirmation that Elain's book is next? She mentions both Elain and Nesta's journeys and at one point of the video, she says she talked to her editor about Elain and Mor and Azriel. I've heard several Gwynriels say that Sjm confirms that they were getting separate books, but now that I watched the actual part, I'm thinking that what sjm really meant was that next book is about Elain and Azriel and that she will add all the Mor drama. Elriels also used the fact that sjm researched Elain's book and mentioned several times that she knew what the first two books are about and that the third book is left open. I'm curious about your thoughts on all this :))

I personally have always thought Elain's book would be after Nesta's.

The difference is, I have never thought that it meant Elain's book would equal E/riel endgame.

Starting at 24:44, the interviewer specifically asks if SJM planned on continuing Elain's journey (not just Nesta's). And the answer to that is yes. SJM has often spoken about the research she'd done for Elain's book, she said she knew who books 1 and 2 would be about (with book 1 being Nesta) so to me it's pretty obvious that the second book was supposed to be about Elain. She said she was leaving the third book open as she was deciding between about 5 different pairings and it wouldn't make sense to confirm she'd done research for Elain's book if she didn't know whether Elain would actually be getting that third book.

But what I think E/riels conveniently ignore is who SJM mentions (and doesn't mention) when talking about the plans she has for other characters. She mentions Elain, Mor, then Azriel. Note how she doesn't mention Lucien? If SJM planned for E/riel endgame, I don't think she'd draw attention to the endgame characters by mentioning them in the same thought (now that Bloomsbury has really doubled down on her not spoiling anything). We know Mor and Az aren't going to end up together and SJM has no issues with mentioning them side by side. Which I think is telling for E/riel because she also had no issues mentioning Elain and Az within the same response. But she doesn't bring up Lucien's name and we KNOW for a fact that she's building up to something big for him. Yes she placed a few hints for Mor and Az in ACOWAR (the book she had been working on at the time she pitched the future books to her editor and what she was referring to when she mentioned the hints she placed for the future of the series) but there's a whole lot more for Lucien. The fact that he's a possible Heir to a new court with an unknown father. The fact that we got his POV in ACOWAR (when Feyre slips into his mind) and he's struggling with his guilt over Jesminda and his pull toward Elain. The fact that he can "still play the fox" and that the actions of his youth "sound a lot more like a High Lord" than unwanted 7th son. She really didn't start developing possible futures for Mor or Az as individuals until the Novella and SF (since I don't even think she had a clear vision of where those characters were headed until then) but a very defined future for Lucien has been in the works since ACOMAF. And a lot of the hints placed for Elain and Lucien in ACOWAR (followed by some pretty major ones in SF) are putting them on a similar path which will only bring them closer together.

The fact that SJM purposely avoids mentioning Lucien when asked about Elain's story is very telling to me. It's one of the biggest questions of all when it comes to Elain and SJM not drawing attention to them together indicates she's trying not to give anything away so when she does announce an Elucien story, it will be a bigger reveal.

Freely talking about Elain and Az in interviews means she's not worried about slipping up when it comes to her facial expressions or her words. Avoiding talking about Elain and Lucien in interviews suggests that she's making sure she doesn't give anything away.

[silver-wield]

Story time! I legitimately liked Clerith at one point. A LOT. I played the original game back in the day and I wanted to join the Clerith community. I did so on Discord and nearly instantly was put off by several things within the community, but I pushed it down and told myself I was overreacting. First, it was small things - like how they loathed Team Four Stars' parody videos because of how they treated Aerith. (1)

when in reality all of the characters were given shitty attitudes and backstories because ya'know it was a parody! It felt hyper-sensitive to me for no reason, so I kept it to myself that I loved the video series and went on. Next was how they hated Tifa and willfully misinterpreted canon and characters. Believe it or not I genuinely like Tifa - she's complex and has beauty and brains and brawn so I don't see anything to dislike. But I couldn't exactly say that to them, and any suggestion (2)

that Tifa was a good character got major pushback. I shut up. What really pushed me over the edge was one user I can't recall the name of so I won't guess, but she was a bigwig. I wanted to join a specific part of the Discord. It was advertised as "debate friendly" so I thought - okay finally here is my shot at speaking my mind while not being dog piled. I asked to join and she said basically she had to verify I was a real person so she needed my real Facebook. (3)

A little creepy, and a little odd I thought since I had been in the group for over a month and had caused no trouble (I learned quickly what was and was not okay to say) but I gave it to her anyway. Keep in mind I was a minor at the time. She came back to me and said "You look like my relative." This tells me she was snooping on my page since at the time my profile picture was actually my cat and any pictures of myself were buried some ways back. (4)

About an hour later she told me she denied my request to join because she saw where I had posted Tifa fanart months ago, and since my Facebook was only two years old (again, I was a minor and had only been allowed to get FB roughly two years prior to this) that she was convinced I was a troll. Insert youvegottobekiddingme. png here. I told her she was paranoid to which she went off on a paragraphs-long spiel about how the Clerith community has been prosecuted by Clotis for ages. (nearly done)

I eventually got tired and blocked her and removed myself from the group. Because of that, and another encounter I had much later (in which my sexual identity was mocked) and an encounter a friend of mine had in which she was goaded into crying over her dead husband when she dared suggest that even if Cloud did love Aerith it's cruel to want him to stay single and mourning for the rest of his life, I have thoroughly decided I cannot stand Cleriths. They made me dislike Aerith. (fin)

Sorry for the late reply, anon. I wasn't ignoring it 😅

Tbf I don't like Machinabridged either, but my response is to just ignore it exists. I don't think I've even watched the whole thing. I've never gone off at the team behind it, but then I rarely give a shit because whenever I do I get slammed by tons of people. So, always remember to never express an opinion that differs from the masses, but if you do express it don't expect anyone to be on your side even if they claimed to be your friends.

Yeah, asking for personal info is a huge red flag for me. Nobody needs to know that unless they have plans to use it against you later. That's why I never give out personal info to people. Cleriths generally use it to make sure people don't stray from their hard-line hating. "If you like Tifa, we'll tell the fandom who you really are" kinda shit mentality.

Honestly, it sounds like you were in the cult's discord. Those are things I've heard them do to people. They're legit terrifying en masse. I mean, most large groups are, especially when one person weaponises them against a single person. Fandom and social media shouldn't be a numbers game that people then utilise to push down those with lower numbers than them, but that's what it is.

What's funny is their behaviour makes people dislike Aerith, so you'd think they'd care about how they come across. But then again, they don't even like her, she's just a straw doll they shove in front of them so they can throw shit at people from behind her and then say she's the reason for their actions.

[minmin-pal]

I was floored when I searched jjba in the site I usually watch anime at and there were so many options, i kinda got confused but i found a 'watch order complete guide' so that's fixed but i never knew jjba didn't have that many fillers? apparently, all the ova's related to the story so it's recommended to not skip anything, excited to watch it tbh, long continuity types r a grind but the complex storylines are pretty rewarding when they finish im p sure, excited to see the animation too tbh

and ohh u both watched the prev seasons together? were you both able to understand the plot properly? (/genquestion/lyttheart) it never rlly occured to me that people watch anime 2gether since i usually rewind a lot (/lytheart) and oh wait, i'll make sure to hold off on reading the manga till after i finish watching the show then, ty for the warning :')! (/gen)

even though it got spoiled for you, i hope you were still able to enjoy stone ocean! (/gen) and yea i'm gonna need to agree, the character design for j geil is so wel-done it actually warrants an actual physical reaction from the audience (physical "yikes" from me lol), it really does fit his character or what i assume his characterization is meant to be xp does it make sense that the first time i saw his design i assumed his head was either: a rotten food or literal turd? idk haha(/lytheart) the art style definitely is dynamic and unique i can agree (/positive)

and ohh, using album song names as attack/power names is actually so clever, i don't know if i would've understood the reference until a few weeks but yeah it is deffo really smart(/gen) is there any other similar references like that? and woah, so kira is like a very plot relevant char (at least for those seasons im assuming) and oh part 1/2 are different from the others? looking forward to seeing how tbh but i'll find out when i watch that scene :D (/positive) a 'flaw' btw? i'm resisting the urge to find posts about it and watch for myself (/joke/lytheart) that sounds super cool

and i just searched for 'jjba part 4 rohan blue hair' scene, i don't know if i found it but i found some other scenes with different and p unique colorings. i'm really curious how they integrated that with the anime actually though i imagine it was around the fight scenes since those scenes typically have the most effects? and woah, his design definitely looks nice tbh, i don't know why but the bit about you saying "kinda cuz theyre pretty not bizarre (in comparison.)" reminds me of that one meme with the guy in yu-gi-oh w/ the normal hair as opposed to literally even in the series lol

and ohh, on rohan, i haven't seen many 'self-insert' type characters, at least not ones that have had good fandom reception?) but he does actually sounds really cool as a character from what you've said, i'm looking forward to seeing him carry the manga economy for a bit haha, that'd actually be a good promotion stunt now that i think abt it lol and yea no worries, ramblings r ver fun to read (/lytheart)

tbh i haven't seen much from csm aside from the makima memes and a fanart about one of the demon designs but it deffo looked very cool! and ohh, kobeni? she's a major character ryt? i never knew her name before but she looks super pretty tbh, and yay i'm glad you like her,! (/lh) i've heard the series gets kinda dark at some scenes? not sure about the specifics really, but from the scenes you've shown of him, denji's humor is pretty funny ngl xD and yikes for makima, idk anything about her tbh but if it's major spoilers i assume it's important to the story,, and yeah not liking her as a person is p understandable :'))

you've mentioned you read spyxfam and kimi ni koisuru satsujinki(found out the english trans is something like 'Killer In Love')? could I ask what you like about those? any scenes stuck out to you? liked and disliked chars maybe? (feel free to skip any questions btw!) slice of life is definitely a very fun genre tbh, is there maybe any anime/manga/whichever media that you don't particularly like maybe? or your just not that fond of? (random question so feel free to skip if you'd like to again btw) this got a tad long lol, sorry bout that! take care and thank you for answering the past few asks i've sent :D (/gen)

last bit- ur new pfp and banner looks super cool btw! is that kobeni? i just noticed the pins on her hair lol so i'm p sure, looks nice (/gen/lytheart) i was replying while reading the post btw so some bits from this myt not make 2 much sense--

YAYAYAYA the certified best way to watch it is to watch part 1 & 2 (phantom blood + battle tendency in the same like period of time?? like dont take a break after phantom blood ends (by break i mean stop watching for a month) then you watch 3, 4, then the rohan kishibe ova's. if ur in it for the fact its jojo id say to watch the anime ova version, then to watch the live action one later whenever you feel like it- its jojo but not art so it doesnt really pack that exact same punch after the ovas you watch part 5 and then 6 the one thing i'll say about jojo (other than every other thing ive said :D) is that araki does not give a fuck he WILL kill the characters you love and he will NOT feel sorry even the main character isnt safe i honestly would not reccommend reading past part 6's manga because part 7, 8 and 9? havent been animated yet the mangas just good to read because its the original you feel araki's like self in it (more) or whatever

(this is a Long one. like genuinely)

we both understood the plot really well jojo can be confusing, but.. almost... everything is eventually cleared up and its great also ,. the FORESHADOWING in this series is unreal. it does not exist thats how crazy it is /j

i still enjoyed stone ocean aswell i knew what happened but it still was like "w w o w that just happened" also it was the first time id seen cgi used in anime and it was super cool

the using song names for abilities stuff is like, really reoccuring i think almost every power after part 2 has some musical/tarot connection theres a lot more obvious (?) examples of this like "man in the mirror" named after the michael jackson song, or notorious b.i.g, or the one named metallica depending on the kind of music you like its more easier to pick up on the references

kira is VERY plot relevant. so plot relavant i insist you do not search him up at all it might be hard cuz ive been gassing him up but once you get there youll see why part 1/2 are different for a big reason which will become immediately clear 10 minutes into part 3 for that reason a lot of people say to skip the first two parts when starting but i just say No....? like. theyre plot relevant, they set the stage, and they bring in joseph and jonathan!!!! those guys are amazing and telling people to skip those part because what? cause its not like the rest is such a slap in the face them not being the same is the point!! part 1 and 2 are set way back like way back like with cowboys so theyre not going to have the stuff/ thing that made part 3 forward different because they just werent there technology wise!!! part 1 is such a charming part because jonathan is literally such a sweet heart like SUCH a sweetheart and part 2 is brought together by joseph and these other 2 characters (spoilers) plus part 1 is literally the most important season ever. i wont say why but. it is. season 3 only works because of the stuff it takes from 1 and 2, literally in show or just in like writing or art (as in the people from part 1 and 2, and the way the storys work) I AM RAMBLING.

uhhh rohans coloring switches and all or the big color changes like

that ^ aren't always cause of big scenes (though that one kinda is) thats whats cool about it though?!?!?!

honestly i think rohan started as a self insert but just became araki's favorite character which is so fun because its like no way a side-ish character got his own ova AND live action version hes just him (on the topic of the live action rohan ova--- i am SO glad they didnt make him. irl anime. becuz like whats the point then just watch the anime hes honestly just real rohan and its great they didnt make the actor dye his hair neon green or anything)

the devils in csm are super cool i love the designs cuz theyre. they re all so unique :DD i dont recall which but one of them really reminded me of like the collosal titan from aot (which is another show i really like) uhh you should def not search up ANYTHING having to with aot also like jojo its a series i watched with my brother :D he'd already watched it but he wanted to show it to me ANYWHP denji reminds me of joseph from jojo humor wise sorta. like ever so slightly (i kinda like denji more cuz hes just he makes me do that little throat laugh where you make no sound but you did definitely laugh

about sxf and killer in love it seems well ill staft with spy family but i love it because . found family is one of my favorite tropes ever ALSO LOID AND ANYA/ ANYA AND YOR'S RELATIONSHIPS R SO SWEET i have never awwed over fictional characters like i awwed over everyone in spy family

theyre so. :holding_back_tears:

i jus love how sweet it is. killer in love though i love for.... sorta the opposite reason i first liked it because the way the mc felt about this girl was just. really the same as how i feel about this.... one girl... ive mentioned her before i think so flatout i like it cuz i related to the mc but BUT hes kinda a serial murderer which is why i have to ask you to take everything i say with a grain of salt he is one flawed mc. like hes fucked actually hes mental but like.... i get it.... like i reread it and the entire time i was like yeah you do you bro i get it. ALSO ITS GENUINELY SO GREAT WRITING WISE AND VISUALLY it has no right being as pretty as it is visually like i censored the words cuz theyre spoilers but

its!! ITS SO its so prettyyyyy.... (also i really cant show where i relate to the mc-- cuz theyre spoilers aswell really but!! i can show you him

idk if itd register but he was ALWAYSS my layouts until really recently usually him and this one scene where he's holding a knife as the banner

for spy family i have no characters i hate honestly, but for killer in love i heavily dislike this one boy.

i dislike him so much... that i . dont remember his same

hes just not it if you read it youll see why theres another character like him,you actually meet him wayyy before this guy, and theyre both bad in the same way but the other guy is just so pathetic that i cant hate him. cause like i get it

uhhh i dont really like isekais or fanservice romance animes if its a romance anime and the main character is a brown haired boy, i 9/10 times skip it cuz theyre usually a miss the only isekai ive ever stomached is devil is a part timer and i just couldnt watch season 2 this one isnt particularly a genre but if the female interest looks 15 and has. double d's not that there arent girls built like that but if you cant make good female designs, you probably cant write a good story either (the only exception being one piece- but holy hell i cannot watch it. i know its great but what is. THIS?)

they all are the same girl and then you look at the male designs you get

are they from the same show????

another trope.. well design i hate and throws me off is Thigh Highlights. chest highlights. shoulder highlights. this one more applys to artists than anime honestly but 9 times out of ten if someone does little white highlights on their big breasted teenage looking characters chest they probably like little kids i have to say it 9/10 times they love children thats just how it is second i notice the shading like that i just cant trust them

also i dont mind how long it got dwdw im super glad you send these cause it always has me rethinking on stuff i like and forming newer opinions really :))

the new layout is kobeni!! im glad it looks nice to you :D (also the lengths okay with me.. usually t takes me a while to formulate everything so i go back and forth with drawing and continunt these... which is why some ideas might feel disconnected... everything made sense though) ive gotta like. give you a aname or something youre..... uhh idk if youd feel comfortable sharing so u are. uuh custard? :D

[fandomfluffandfuck]

so you've posted a lot about måneskin and other bands of the like but im just wondering - do you have any playlists you'd like to share? like, ones with songs you like or maybe a playlist you listen to while you write. i think it would be interesting seeing what you like to listen to with somewhat of a face to connect your music taste to?? (you're really pretty, by the way) 🫶

I think you'll like this ask

I fucking love love love music so I do post quite a bit about it, lol. Plus, I have thought about doing something like what @ixalit did with sharing all his playlists (that are *chef's kiss,* by the way. I have discovered many songs through those playlists 👀) but my Spotify, that I've had for years, is connected to my actual name that I'm not willing to share on Tumblr with this type of fandom account, lol.

I know I could make another account and transfer my playlists to a fandom specific account, but... that's a lot of work. I don't know if I'll do that, lol. If enough people were interested... maybe?

Besides, I don't really have a single playlist I write to. I just throw on whatever and write. Sometimes, I seek out specifically explicit music when I'm writing smut but usually not. Usually, it's whatever that I was playing the last time I had the app open or whatever I'm feeling that day.

And my music taste is a mess haha, I'm all over the fucking place with music. I think if I had to pin it down, my musical soft spot has always been for heavier sounds. Aggressive, heavy shit like all types of metal, rock, and punk have always appealed to me; they're the sounds I always fall back on. That said, though, I also love all types of other sounds, too. Hip hop, indie, jazz, industrial pop, electronic, etc.

Bands, though, yeah. Goddamn, I love bands! I also follow a ton of individual artists, but there's something about bands.

For my own enjoyment, and hopefully yours as well, some good bands (in no particular order):

Måneskin ("TIMEZONE" gives me major evanstan vibes btw 👀 / "SUPERMODEL" is kind of always stuck in my stuck in my head / "MAMMAMIA" is just 🤌🏻Damiano's moans🤌🏻 so you know it's good)

Fall Out Boy (I'm not even being funny when I say I can't narrow it down to a few songs to recommend. I know their entire discography by heart and have been obsessed since I discovered them. They hold a VERY special place in my heart. If I don't know what I want to listen to, I throw them on. If I need comfort, if I need to wallow in feelings, if I need to celebrate--anything.)

Sleep Token (This band FUCKS and turns on my writers brain in the best way (re: "Take Me Back To Eden") / be careful listening to "Blood Sport" because it's devastating / the music video for "Alkaline" will change you 😮‍💨 / and "Sugar" is way too good)

Royal Blood (I think "Lights Out" was the first song I heard from them, and it still holds up / "Blood Hands" is super good too / also "Honey Brains")

The Damned Things ("Keep Crawling" shouldn't be spicy, but it kinda is to me 😮‍💨 / "Something Good")

Halestorm (oh my god, all of their stuff! Lzzy's voice is unreal! "The Steeple" / "Black Vultuers")

Mother Mother (Again, a band that I know their entire discography by heart. A friend bought me one of their CDs before I knew them, and I've been obsessed since listening through the CD the first time. "Life" is comfort food for your ears, as is "It's Alright." Those songs make me cry or scream, depending on my mood, going into the listen)

Nine Inch Nails (NIN f u c k s . "Head Like A Hole" / "The Hand That Feeds")

Waterparks (I've been listening since Double Dare, their first album, and its been wild to watch them grow. I've gotten too many friends hooked on them too, lmao. "Turbulent" / "Dizzy" / "SELF-SABOTAGE")

YONAKA ("Guilty" makes me want to weep / "Punch Bag" is so good)

Muse ("We Are Fucking Fucked" has been my anthem since it dropped lol / "Won't Stand Down" puts me in my Bucky feelings as does "Psycho," "(Drill Sargeant)," and "Dead Inside")

(Thank you <3)

[radiomonkeys2]

"How about we settle this with a test 'a balls?"

"Tsk. I don't even have balls, and I'll tell you I got the balls."

Raza the Space Pirate stands off against Yulaan the Barbarian Warrior, taking place in the run-down streets of New York City, 1977. High on kung fu and wuxia grindhouse films, Yulaan enters a street fighting tournament set against the backdrop of the Great Blackout of 1977, and it's during the final moments of this tournament that a secret challenger enters— another Yaban! This one a nagoi named Raza, who has been eager to fight the Butcher of Gorta for years. And fight they do, showing off their superhuman qi abilities to the humans watching. But this is no fun, so what say they put away the magic tricks and do this like a couple of fellows— hand-to-hand, a pure secular fistfight in a Knife-Edge Deathmatch!

Raza is a space pirate, a vitakoze or deathkommando, one who raids interplanetary and interstellar vessels to sell the materials on them on the black market, but this is really just a front. All he's really into is a good fight and butchery, so he deliberately targets the most well-defended and hardest-to-penetrate ships in the cosmos for the sake of a great challenge. Indeed, because of the insane nature of nagoi piracy, they're often employed by warlords and mercenary groups to do the difficult missions no others will dare to contemplate, let alone try. Raza isn't a top-tier pirate— he's a small fry all things considering, but that's his lot in life. Unlike a lot of his compatriots, he's perfectly fine with staying small rather than advancing through the power structure, feeling that it keeps him close to the best kinds of action— those down-to-Earth sorts of fistfights that really get the blood pumping… often all over the walls.

I've always talked about vroda kvltvr because female characters are inherently interesting to me. But senja kvltvr is also interesting. Nagois are very manly as a rule, and they are still capable of brotherhoods— after all, "senja kagora" literally translates to "brother fellowship" or "fraternal chivalry," so they clearly have this capability. Indeed, nagois ought to have very strong brotherhoods because part of their spiritual dao is that of the ultramasculine huo combined with the feminine yin— but all the feminine third does for them is allow for that self-control and compassion for one another that makes fraternities so strong while also enhancing their destructive potential. Bollois are widely seen as lacking that sort of compassionate side hence why they make such effective butchers and assassins, but they still have chivalrous sisterhoods, so it makes sense that nagois will be males of unity and fellowship. Considering male friendship is a major manly theme on Earth, the manliness of nagois doesn't really need to be stated, hence why I tend to focus way more on the manliness of bollois.

But that being said, senja kagora is still not some feminine ordeal or anything. Nagois do manly things that often get homoerotic, and one of those things is a knife-edge death match, where these manly space warriors get to have their fun beating each other bloody between blades. Again, bollois do these things too— nagois and bollois share many behaviors in their fellowships. Indeed, Djuggesh and Ghojin are an undefeated winners of multiple knife-edge death matches. However, Yulaan had never actually heard of these things because she never had the chance to really get into vroda kvltvr before her war on Planet Gorta, hence why she's confused by the offer to fight in one against Raza. To be fair, he's also beguiled that the Butcher of Gorta has never been in a knife-edge death match, let alone heard of them. It seems more than a bit odd, like a badass mercenary with hundreds of kills having never heard of even the concept of honor dueling or underground fight clubs. So he teaches her via actually holding one.

And what better place to do it than in 1977 New York? A place of the cusp of post-modernity, where the chauvinistic and chivalrous machismo of the past still lingers on and triggers many bystanders to become so incredibly uncomfortable.

It can't be avoided as a subject: Yulaan is female. She may not be a woman per se, but she is indistinguishable from one, since Yabans are essentially that classic "humanoid alien" archetype. She looks and sounds like a woman, and she's female, so to these people, she might as well be a woman— indeed, it's common for people to call her a woman in many forms, such as "Yaban woman," and even "bolloi woman" because they don't quite get that "bolloi" alone works (it would essentially be like calling a female fowl a "hen woman" but made far muddier by the fact bollois are, as aforementioned, indistinguishable from women). She already upsets people by being so well-built and battle-scarred. Tossing her into a brutal bare-knuckle pit fight with an insanely muscular male just seems offensively obscene to these modern eyes. Not that everyone's against it.

Sure, some like Glenn and Michael think it's an afront to the Lord Himself for this to happen and Jennifer weeps, thinking that Yulaan's throwing away her beautiful face and shouldn't be doing something so toxically wretched— but then you have the amazed Jocko and Elf who, even though they also possess era-appropriate chauvinism (how could they know their general attitudes would make them villains to those two generations away in the future?), are more tolerant than they let on and certainly don't mind a lady going topless to fight. Plus the sheer audacity of such a fight is astounding, especially to Elf who sees it not as some mixed brawl but as a legendary struggle of will. Nor is Lori anything but awe-struck. Again, she'd never get involved in such a dumb sort of brutal herself either, and while the fight itself is so dumb to her, it's also awesome.

Alas, Yulaan and Raza couldn't care less about what the humans think of their fight. They're Yabans; this is just what they do. That there might be anything unusual or wrong about a male and a female fistfighting with such raw brutality is an alien concept to them— on Planet Kollidor, only the strong meet on the battlefield! Strength is all that matters. There is no "equality" on Kollidor; only strength and power.

Admittedly, causing that sort of discomfort is part of why Yulaan even heads back to the past, such as to 1950s Spain and 1960s America and East Asia. These time periods were eras of far stronger gender norms and far greater male honor in daily life. There's a natural clash between human and Yaban norms as a result. We humans expect our females to be tender, delicate, graceful, kind, compassionate, submissive, motherly, sensitive, emotional, and indecisive, even in modern times when such isn't "politically correct" to say directly and thus vastly moreso in past decades. Tradwives and tradwomen are supposed to be bearers of that sort of ultra-femininity. Yabans, by comparison, expect their females to be industrious, brutal, aggressive, unconcerned, logical, and cruel. In fact, a traditional bolloi or tradbol would be seen as completely lacking femininity to humans. As has been stated before, bollois may be the females, but the hermaphroditic yenois are the "Women," at least by traditional standards. Yulaan considering herself a "somewhat traditional girl" is ironic in that context considering that, by Yaban standards, she very much is so, and yet by human standards, we'd probably call her "ultra-Butch" and some certainly might consider her a "frigid feminist" as a result. Hence why it's so fun to thrust her into places like Francoist Spain, suburban mid-century America, 80s Japan, and more.

This is what happens when you take the Strong Female Character™ trope and run with it to its maximum possible extent.

Special thanks to Salvamakoto for the artwork!

[courtesanofdeath]

- Pocket Sized Anon

Yeah. At home is different than stores. At home, for myself, I could be either "being a ninja" by climbing the furniture in the house (like when you're in the kitchen). Or use a chair or stool to stand on if I can't even reach. But, at the store, that's a completely different situation. I know that I can't climb in the freezes to get products in case that I may end up stuck in the freezers. Or.. Something like that. So I might need any help someone's willing to give me, not that I ever like asking for help.

Short people problems.

I don't get me started on never finding clothes, shoes, jewelries that's actually able to fit me. So that's definitely discrimination against me.

As someone who favors many short characters.. There's always some comments about their height. And I know that pain, at least I'm angry enough to become violent towards people who comment about mine too. Basically like every short character in existence now that I'd think about it. Seriously! I do like most, if not all, of the shorter characters.

When it comes to women: Saiko (TG) is basically the female animated me. Short, chubby, with the same personality more or less is me if I'm an anime character.. There's Charmy (BC). Both of them are actually a couple inches taller than me. Quite a few women in MHA who happen to be short too. Not sure if Fabiola (BL) counts? I'm neutral about this character, her character, but her age has never officially been said? I'd seen mentions that she's seventeen, but never confirmed or denied.

Hm..

There might be other female characters? But I can't think of now.

But I feel like majority of the short characters are male characters but that could just be me thinking that? And then, there is the males: Hiei (YYH), Feitan (HxH), Ed (FMA), Levi (AOT), amongst more characters that I could list but won't. And I know there are short child characters in anime, but I saw trying to stick with the short adult characters. Oh! And Asta (BC), he's also another character. But I like short characters in general. Maybe some more than others. But that's not that point.

Oh! Wait.. Near (DN). He's another short character. How could I forget him?! I just rewatched Death Note recently. But there's also Near too.

(And this is just the list for some anime characters.)

Anyway!

I might be short.. But if anyone, regardless of height, tries to treat me that way. Like pick me up, carry me around, anything like that then I'd say that they might lose limbs (and maybe their lives) in the process. I can say that I can be violent like Ed Elric when it comes to my height.. If that person is deliberately trying to piss me off. And other times I'm trying not caring about the comments. But it depends on my mood?

omg yes the clothes and accessories! it's so hard to find the right size! but honestly don't even be shy to go in the kids section if you must! and you'll even save some money! i've done it a few times lmao

yeah with (adult) female characters, i can't name much (partly because there's just a lack of adult female characters in many anime. aside from moms lol). there's probably a lot from anime that i don't watch though. fabiola, i think she's a teenager so her height might be more on the average side. but yeah charmy omg she's so cute

ooohh the female characters from dungeon meshi got a nice variety of heights and i think all of them are adults so yay !!

there are definitely more short anime guys !! (but again, partly because there's just more guys in general but let's not unpack that). also it's easier to tell when a guy is supposed to be short because everyone around them are just tall. so when there's a short dude, they reeeeaaally stand out.

levi is probably the most famous one for being a short adult man lmaaoo i haven't watched aot yet but i do love that he's short and snappy (from what i heard). and feitan too! i love him! just like hiei! i love those gremlins omg

and yeah i totally get you! i've gotten picked up by my friends when im not in the mood to joke around and it gets really annoying sometimes. most of the time, i don't really care about it or would laugh along if they're actually funny but there are times when i'm just like 'pls leave me alone 😭'