#major wheeler

[uxbridge]

Coral honeysuckle "John Clayton" and "Major Wheeler"

[scroofy-was-here]

went to check out the st reddit 😭😭😭

umm WHAT?????

hey guys, are all of us bylers straight gen z girls???? AM I a straight gen z girl????? are most of us bylers little kids who are overly obsessed weirdos????

BREAKING NEWS: stranger things redditors can't fathom the fact that queer people like queer ships as well as representation and bylers can come in different ages and sexualities!!! 😱😱😱

[placeholddog]

the stranger things phone game from 2017 is solid actually

[thefailedabortioon]

[thefirstlioveyou]

the main reason why people struggle to empathize or get mike is because we don't have his pov anymore. so it's easy to just call him an asshole and call it a day. obviously he's gonna look an asshole when we aren't seeing what's going on w him personally. s5 is gonna make yall take back a lot of things yall say abt him

[sade-alicious]

ted helping mike with his tie but jonathon not knowing how to tie one at all, showing lonnie’s absence in jonathon’s and will’s lives

[reluctantbylerblog]

call me crazy and controversial but I don't think nancy did anything wrong, nor is she fundamentally a bad person for what happened to barb in s1, and I absolutely do not think she needs to be redeemed. the end of her character arc should always be about reaching a point of self-compassion and forgiveness—specifically by healing enough to allow herself to move past her guilt and belief that she caused barbs death by letting herself become close to others and form intimate friendships. especially with robin (who imo she was cagey with in s4 because of her trauma around barb)

[sinclairstarz]

the first rule of fucking whatever

[theelmoarchive]

Hiiii 🕺✨🕺✨

I posted this a few days ago on ig, but I quite like it so for the 5 people who see this here you go 🤲🤲

(@/taeiris_'s dtiys on Instagram btw!!)

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

Will and Mike were never the type of kids to wrestle with each other. They were the type to read comics in the same armchair then fall asleep on each other

[chirpsythismorning]

Will Won't Believe Mike Has Feelings For Him, Until Mike Unpacks EVERYTHING!

In season 2, almost every touch between byler was initiated by Mike. Literally two episodes in a row at the start of that season, the camera focuses on Mike wrapping his arm around Will's shoulder warmly, only for us to never see this gesture from Mike again until s4, except this time it's with El (feat. Will in the background).

This is important because it means Mike went from initiating touch with Will in the earlier seasons, to not initiating it in the later ones, and conveniently right after he started having a relationship with El.

After holding back from initiating any contact with Will all of s3 (the same season almost all contact between them was initiated by Will for the first time), it's not until the end of the season that Mike lets go of his ih right as Will is about to leave for California, falling into his arms.

And then it takes the literal apocalypse, at the very end of s4, for Mike to wholeheartedly initiate contact with Will again (after yet another season of Will initiating most).

And so it makes sense why Will would be confused.

Because at the end of s3, Mike gives him the impression that he didn't want Will to join another party, with Will basically admitting that was the whole point of him donating the dnd game, because joining another party would literally be impossible for him, so like what's the point?

Will's feelings aren't going away. Whether or not Mike feels the same, is beside the point. Will still wants to be in Mike's life as his friend and he would be ecstatic to be best friends like they used to, entirely platonically.

After all, Will used to attribute Mike's behavior in earlier seasons as platonic, whereas bylers arguably viewed it as romantic. So Will's idea of romantic vs. platonic may very well be different than Mike's (and perhaps ours).

We tend to view those gestures as romantic, especially because Mike went from being able to do them nonchalantly, to now looking like a deer in headlights any time Will so much as slightly grazes his arm.

This is why I think Mike and Will's personal experiences with ih intersect and overlap. It affects them both differently, and that's probably because they had their realizations at different times, but it’s also probably because it started in environments that don’t resemble the exact same circumstances and experiences.

I do think because of Lonnie and because of Will's experiences growing up being bullied, he is understandably scared of being a target and that will never go away, it never does for queer people. That trauma is deep for Will and it's why he can't stand up for El in s4 when it comes to the bullies. It's why he freezes. And yet, even still, he seems a lot more comfortable in being who he is in a way that I just don't think Mike is, at least not fully or to the extent Will is (yet).

And it's because they are at totally different stages of their journey, journeys that are going to look totally different even side by side, but still qualify as both being worthy enough for acknowledgment in the end.

I hate the whole excuse regarding the girl in Will's class, because we don't really get much context there. But I'm guessing that Will obviously knew this girl sort of well. They're sitting next to each other in class, and he's been going to this school for about 6 months, so I highly doubt they are strangers.

I also am assuming they talked enough that this girl felt compelled to flirt by playing footsy, as opposed to her just being attracted to him and doing it on a whim. That obviously doesn't excuse her touching him without his consent, but what I'm trying to say is that there are girls that have liked Will for who he is, after getting to know him, who want to get to know him more romantically and he's just.... not having it.

And so if Will was craving normalcy to the point where he wanted to appear straight, dating a girl that is fully interested in him is obviously one of the popular options a person might consider in that situation. And Will's had this opportunity. This was just one of at least 3 in canon occurrences where a girl implied, 'Hey. I'm interested' towards Will. Which means all he would have to do is play along and he could keep his sexuality locked down and ignore his true feelings, by pretending to be happy in a heterosexual relationship.

We even have an unnamed fourth girl in the mix, who Will doesn't even know exists. This girl exists solely to make Mike insecure about his and Will's relationship. Because in contrast to Will, and most people that don't have extreme cases of ih, Mike views romantic relationships as shutting out everyone else, and he's scared that now that Will might be interested in a girl and moving towards a romantic relationship, he's going to shut Mike out and he'll lose him for good.

But Will doesn't have that same level of denial or self-hatred that might lead one to pursue or even simply draw out an unromantic relationship, at least not anymore. You could try to argue that in s2 Will did because he gave in and danced with the girl (at Mike's insistence), but since then, nothing.

Will is the kind of person that is comfortable enough in his sexuality to literally be single for the rest of his life, contentedly, because that would mean he doesn't have to pretend to be someone he's not to fit society's expectations. He's not scared enough about the implications of not having a gf and what people would think of him as a result. He is who he is and he's accepted that part of himself.

Mike on the other hand, has lots of expectations of himself, that he's sort of forcing himself to obey and follow. And he's also well aware of the implications of everything he does, especially when it relates to Will. He hyper-focuses on his actions and it's why he can't be fully honest about how he feels, and this is because how he has been acting as of late, is mostly an act in and of itself. An act that protects him from exploring the truth about his sexuality. An act that allows him to ignore it all together.

Every time Will has confronted Mike about his inability to be a good friend like he used to be, it's literally coming from a platonic place, not from a place of Will expecting Mike to return his love.

That's the thing, he doesn't think Mike could ever love him because he thinks Mike is straight. But he also (unlike Mike) doesn't have fears about Mike viewing his behavior as romantic, he just has fears that Mike doesn't want him as a friend anymore.

And I think that's the difference between Will's ih and Mike's.

Because Mike's ih is attributed to how he's been taught to believe he must grow up and be a certain way, according to bs media propaganda and from his family, along with how all of those ideas impacted him internally, since he has no one to really talk about it with.

And while Will has experienced some heinous shit in regards to his perceived sexuality at an extremely young age (a lot of which Mike witnessed right beside him or experienced himself firsthand) he doesn't apply those insecurities to his relationship with Mike. Even though Lonnie and those bullies and the scum of town broke him down, his mother loves him and his brother loves him and his best friend said asking him to be his best friend was the best thing he's ever done.

Mike doesn't have that kind of support going on for him when it comes to accepting his sexuality. He's scared, and understandably so.

This contrast between their characters is obvious in the way they go about their relationship, specifically in s4.

For example, Will doesn't view Mike not sending him letters as Mike turning him down romantically, he views it as Mike not caring about him at all, even as a friend.

And that's the main thing that made me have this realization about Mike's behavior in s4, and over the seasons in general because, to Mike, writing a letter to Will had romantic implications.

He sent letters to El and literally couldn't give in to send not even one letter to Will, and it's because, well, it would be too obvious (gay).

I imagine it's possible Will called Mike after they were settled in Cali, because he was still fairly certain they were on good terms considering how they left things (he has no idea Mike is spiraling over being recommitted to El again). Will had little reason to be insecure that Mike wouldn't want to talk to him, so I imagine that initially, things were at least fine.

But then it's been about a week and the Byers get a couple of letters in the mail, one for El and one for Jonathan, and... I can't even imagine what Will might have been feeling in that moment.

And then it happens again. And again. And Will is confused, because he thought they resolved things in their last conversation. He thought that they hugged and they were back to the way things used to be.

We even get this moment where Max is writing letters to everyone, EVERYONE, which makes me think Will did get letters from his other friends after the move, from Dustin, Lucas and even Max. And I think this can also be supported by a few other details. Bc if the phone line was busy, I don’t think any of the other friends would have a problem with writing Will a letter to reach him instead. And so by Dustin complaining about Mike was always whining about the Byers line being busy is an interesting choice bc, why wouldn't Dustin also complain? Wouldn't he want to call to talk to Will too.... Unless, Dustin is fully capable of getting his platonic Will fix via letters, EVEN probably ending them with love Dustin. (Will also knew what Lucas’ hair looked like in s4, which he would only really know if he got a picture of Lucas sent to him in the mail, most likely accompanied by a letter catching up).

I'm honestly guessing, that the only person who didn't write Will, not even once, was Mike.

It makes sense that in the time between s3-s4, Will attributed this behavior from Mike as him just reverting back to his s3 ways. He stopped focusing on Will and put all of his energy into worrying about El (again).

And so although Will doesn't make the effort to reach out to Mike as much as he could have, it's not because he's scared Mike will realize his feelings for him if he 'goes too far' or something. It's because he just genuinely thinks that Mike doesn't want to be his friend anymore.

And then the couple other times Mike himself calls the Byers over those 6 months, it's incredibly awkward. Something is off and Will doesn't know what it is or if it's his fault.

And this is why he puts his heart and soul into that painting.

The party was the last thing they talked about when they last saw each other. And that painting and what it represents reminds Will of a time when they were younger, when they could be themselves. Or more specifically when Mike could be himself and show how much he cared about Will, something he has been incapable of doing to the extent he would like to, for quite some time now. Will's holding onto this small ounce of hope that he just needs to prove to Mike that their friendship can still be what it used to be, if that's what Mike wants of course. And he's not scared that Mike is going to see this as romantic, or he's at least not worried about it. Why else would he put a heart on his shield and plan on giving it to him in front of everyone, in public?

Over the next few months, letters to El (from Mike), are arriving less and less over time, but they're still semi consistent. And all the while Will's just working on his painting with the purest and kindest of intentions.

Then, the day of their reunion finally comes and Will is so excited to hug Mike and give him the painting, but then suddenly, Mike is rejecting him. Instead of going in for a hug like he did at the end of s3, Mike makes his way towards Will, only to pull himself back and tap him on the shoulder instead before they can even hug properly.

Will looked very happy to see Mike, just like Mike did initially. However, in contrast, Will didn't hold himself back from the embrace at all, not until he saw Mike doing it.

Meaning ih wasn't in the way of Will in this moment, but it was in the way for Mike.

Mike's inability to simply hug him back like a friend hugs a friend, is when Will thinks, 'okay. so this painting is probably not the best idea.'

And then all day long, Will is moping, not even thinking about the implications of what it could look like. He doesn't care if he looks like a sad gay boy, because he is a sad gay boy.

Meanwhile Mike is smiling (painfully) most of the day, though we know because Mike lets it slip later, that he was too distracted by Will's moping to even enjoy himself. It was all an act. He was internalizing everything he was truly feeling and thinking in those moments.

Again we're seeing Will being quite capable of showing a full range of emotions, without him worrying about the implications that may come with it, whereas the implications of anything and everything Mike does (or even wears) is a guiding factor for why he is behaving the way that he is.

And then at Rink-O-Mania, Will says, 'what about us' and the entire byler community is gasping.. bc i mean, the guts?? the confidence? the self assurance that he must have had to say something so bold such as, 'what about us??', all while Mike is looking back at him fucking starstruck, wishing he had the balls to say something like that intentionally and not by accident.

Mike has started to be extremely careful about what he says, and in turn Will is having no choice but to do the same.

At this moment, Mike is still reeling from admitting to paying more attention to Will's mood than El who was lying straight to his face, and now Will is suddenly revealing to Mike that he missed him a lot and he was sad that Mike didn't call more...

But instead of Mike being like BRO I called. I called you every day for almost a year... he keeps his mouth shut.

This is the moment we finally see Mike's mask start to crack, because in this moment he reveals that he couldn't write to him because, "She's my girlfriend Will!" and "We're friends. We're friends.".

All of which are things Will never disputed as being basic facts.

The reality is Will isn't upset here because Mike doesn't want to do romantic coded things with him, he's upset because things that used to be platonic for them, that are platonic for most best friends, Mike is suddenly viewing as romantic now.

"But we used to be best friends," drives home this fact that Will's insecurities about their relationship are tied to Mike's behavior.

And then Mike's ih and 'detouring back into the closet' tendencies are back in full force, and it's causing Will to also cut himself short. Instead of being honest like he always is, he's stopping himself, because Mike is starting to change his tune.

It's why he walked away after the rain fight, and it's why he keeps his mouth shut instead of defending himself. Because this isn't how things used to be between them.

And that's what I find kind of tragic about their slow-burn, and I haven't seen anyone talk about this, which is that I think their experiences overlap.

I think that Mike's ih is starting to impact Will in a negative way. While Will has been learning to accept himself over the seasons, Mike's been learning to hide.

We've seen them go from a relationship early on where Mike was the reason Will accepted himself, to now being the reason he has to give him a veiled love confession, because at this point, Will has little reason to believe Mike could love him back based on his actions and his behavior.

At the end of s3, right before they hug, Will kind of just stands there waiting for Mike to hug him, like he's down to hug Mike, but only if that's what he wants. Will's ih is only starting to kick in at all now because Mike's has went from nonexistent, to value infinity. After a season of initiating all contact, Will is skeptical Mike even wants to hug him. But then Mike is falling into his arms and it's such a pure moment, because now Will is thinking, albeit bittersweetly, that things can go back to normal for them.

But they don't, with s4 essentially starting out as a repeat of s3.

Will is back to this trend of initiating all their physical contact again. First going in for a hug at the airport brightly (only to be shot down). Poking Mike in the chest at Rink-O-Mania when they're arguing. Grazing Mike's arm in the van when he gives him the painting. Reaching out to tap his shoulder during his monologue. Hugging Lucas with him. Elbowing him subtly to ask about how things are with El. These are all subtle moments where Will goes out his way to initiate touch with Mike, things that arguably Mike used to do with Will, but now only does extremely rarely, and most notably at the last second at the end of the season, after holding himself back the first 8 or so episodes.

I think what's so important about the way they approached this, is that in order for Will to truly accept and love himself, Mike has to accept himself too.

Without even realizing it, a long time ago, Mike made Will accept himself. Will was arguably experiencing a lot of ih in the first two seasons, but then suddenly it flipped, and now it's the other way around, with Will just being confused like I thought you cured me of this bro? wtf??

Will literally poured his heart out to Mike with that painting. He told Mike how he felt. He even spent the last year or so being fairly honest about how he viewed their friendship and about how he feels about him. And while Mike always makes the effort to correct things with Will, a lot faster than he does with anyone else, he's still leaving Will in the dark here.

Because while most bylers are fully convinced s4 ended things in a way that proves Mike is ready to be with Will once that opportunity arises, that doesn't mean Will is going to believe him.

Will doesn't end the season thinking Mike loves him, he ends it thinking the exact opposite.

It doesn't matter that Mike is finally reaching out to him again or that he's even standing right beside him at the end, because Will has already been through this with Mike.

He's already gotten hope that they could go back to how they were.

And even though their reconciliation in s4 seemed to resolve things, things still ended in a similar way to s3, only this time in a more grand way, with Mike telling El he loved her 9 times, and the added bonus that he apparently felt like his life started that day they found her in the woods (the same day Will went missing).

And so somethings gotta give. We cant just have a repeat of s3 and s4.

I think it's going to take A LOT for Will to even consider Mike could not only see him truly as a best friend again, but that he also returns his feelings romantically.

Sadly, despite all the beauty that is byler when it comes to them voicing how much they care about each other, Mike's inability to even want a platonic relationship is why they are in this situation in the first place. Because I honestly think Will is capable of a platonic relationship with Mike, whereas I do no think Mike is capable of having a platonic relationship with Will. And his attempts to hide his feelings have caused Will to be insecure about where their friendship lies.

And so it's going to require Will getting an explanation as to why Mike has been acting this way for so long.

Mike's not going to be able to end things with El and then manage to convince Will that its him who he loves.

This is where I think the letter comes in. I think that Will pouring his heart out in that painting, explaining all the ways Mike makes him feel like he's not a mistake, needs to be reciprocated in a similar way from Mike's end.

After the past few years of him making Will question everything he ever thought about their relationship, both Will and Mike deserve the closure that comes with acknowledging what the hell happened between them.

And I think the best way to do that is for Will to understand why Mike did what he did, because Will didn't personally have ih that gave him the urge to seek out, nor stay in unhappy relationships. Like I'm sure Will's fairly convinced that having a girlfriend is strictly straight behavior, as are most (uninformed) people.

If Mike wants to be with Will, he needs to give Will closure about why they went from best friends to strangers. And that is going to require Mike unpacking his ih in a way that Will is going to understand, once Mike finally acknowledges it instead of beating around the bush. Will is going to be able to be the thing that makes Mike accept himself, and vice versa.

And the way I think Mike is going to do that is IN A LETER (especially after convincing himself letters are romantic? boy! you better prove it!)

Once they finally do that, once they both speak to each other in their own personal love language (Will with his art and Mike with his writing), they'll finally understand each other and where they were both coming from.

And that's when they'll realize that they can overcome all these fears they've had growing up, everything that caused them this big mess in the first place, because they'll be able to get through it together.

And it's going to be so heartbreakingly beautiful and real that not even the ga is going to be able to be mad.

[heeleryuta]

[billybigbang2024]

The Billy Big Bang (banner courtesy of @alicetallula) posting season starts on November 1st and Team #4 will be posting their collaboration through November 11th! The artwork will be completed by @alduade-art / alduade and the fic is by @house-of-chant / house_of_chant ! Take a peek below for a little insight into their collaboration as we all mark our calendars!

Fic Title: Dead Man’s Party

Rating:  Mature

Warnings:  Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con

Relationships:  background Max/Lucas, Mike/El, Nancy/Jonathan; canon-level Billy/Karen; pre-slash Billy/Eddie if you squint

Characters: Billy, Eddie, Max, El

Additional Tags:  time loop,  i really mean the major character death tag. It's like the whole point of the fic, age difference warning for the Billy/Karen stuff (which goes no further than canon), mentions of drug use

Length: 60k-65k

Summary:  

In which Billy is quite literally stuck in a time loop, because nobody has bothered to tell him that's what happening. Sure, him dying is one of the things the loop is gearing up to avert, but does he get memories? No. He gets premonitions, and deja vu, and ... whatever Eddie Munson has going on.

(Eddie does know he's stuck in a time loop. He hasn't told anyone yet. What he has done is made several different incarnations of Billy very, very confused.)

[heystevenn]

i mean sure, steve's character growth started with nancy, but that doesn't mean nancy is the only reason. she gave him a reason to take a step back and reflect, but the rest is all him. i think it's necessary to point that out.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for a @astrangersummer.

The Remnants

Week #11 Prompt: Sunglasses | Word Count: 898 | Rating: T | POV: Karen Wheeler | Characters: Karen, Steve Harrington | CW: Prior Major Character Death (Unspecified Member of The Party) | Tags: Future Fic, The Party, Unnamed Character Death, A Look at Grief, At Loss, Steve Harrington is Still Their Babysitter Person, The Kids Are Home For A Funeral

Inspired by the song Pink Skies by Zach Bryan.

The kids are in town for a funeral. 

Karen has been listening to them move around the basement, getting ready to go. She doesn't want to make them wait, not on her. Not today.

She's touching every surface in her kitchen, every counter, frantic. It doesn't make any sense. They were just here. She's sure of it.

She laid them out with her purse. She swore she did. 

She's yanking open drawers, then slamming them shut, over and over.

"Can I help you find something?"

It's Steve Harrington, standing at the edge of her kitchen.

She's not surprised to see him, because the kids don't want anything from anyone, except Steve Harrington, and she's had to stand back and accept that this isn't something she can fix.

She can't make a pot roast, and let them run wild on their bicycles. Not now.

If Steve can ease any of this for them, in any way, she'll be grateful. 

"My sunglasses," she says. They have to leave, and soon, but she can't go without them. 

Steve pulls his own sunglasses out of his shirt pocket, and hands them over, "Until yours turn up."

Karen takes them, isn't sure what else to do, and lets him lead her to one of the waiting black cars. He's not a kid, not anymore, none of them are, even if she'll always see them that way.

Even as they have to go to a funeral. 

After, Karen watches as Steve Harrington herds the remnants back through her house. All that's left of their little group. The Party. The fuss and fight gone out of them, now. The boys, and later, the girls, that trampled up and down her staircase, excited and loud, are now long grown. Men and women, somehow here in their places. 

They haven't all been gathered together, not all of them, not in years. Maybe not since Ted's funeral. 

Burying parents, that's the stage of life they've reached. It's a rite of passage that sneaks up on you, hard and fast, and often before you're ready. But it's the order of things, to be expected, even when it's a complete surprise.

But they shouldn't be burying each other. Not yet.

And now that they have, now that the seal is broken, they won't ever be whole again.

It's unfair. 

Now, they're silent as they walk past the doorway, and don't even look at the growth chart they all spent so much time and energy trying to be the tallest mark on. 

She listens to them go down the stairs, and maybe it's her imagination, or her failing hearing, but they still sound exactly the same as they did as kids. 

Now, though, the noise stops too soon. One pair of feet too few.

She leans in the doorway. Listens. Hand touching the carved-on piece of wood. The growth chart on the door frame started as Nancy, then Mike. By the time Holly came, all these other kids had scraped their own right alongside her kids. Cheating, standing on tiptoes, so desperate to grow taller than each other. 

The funeral was beautiful, but the kids are all pretty stoic. Like they didn't even notice. They aren't kids, not anymore. But they still feel like her kids, always will. All of them, and now one is missing. 

They've had a practice run at this at twelve-years-old, but then they got a do-over. They learned to believe in magic, to believe in the impossible being possible.

She knows that won't happen again. This time it's for real. One of them is really gone, dead and buried, and they don't know how to act.

She doesn't know how to act.

She's still supposed to be the adult here. The mom.

They'd spread their wings. Flew far, and wide, but always flocked home, together. 

She's pretty sure that won't happen again. They're cleaning the basement, clearing the drawers, mopping the floor. Steve's been up and down a dozen times, digging under the sink for cleaning supplies, then carrying up box after box, taking them out the front door, and she doesn't know where it's all going. 

Just that it's already gone.

The basement, their safe space, can't go on with one missing. Won't.

So, they're closing up shop. 

And she's having to watch from afar. Only getting kernels of secondhand knowledge from her daughter's ex-boyfriend. 

It's a strange life they've all lived.

But once they got past that, she thought they'd made it. That they'd all be fine. 

That she would eventually go first.

She wishes she could go back to the start. When Mike was so little, and just meeting Dustin, Lucas and Will for the first time. When they were just old enough to ride bikes down the driveway, and then later, out of sight. Not to be seen until the streetlights came on again.

Kids don't roam like that now. Her grandkids sure don't. Their parents, far too well aware of what can go bump in the night.

She listens.

It's quiet, too quiet, down there. 

She misses the sounds of screaming, tumbling dice and curse words they weren't supposed to be saying, but did anyway when they thought they could get away with it. 

She settles in her chair, and gets poked in the thigh. She reaches down, and her sunglasses aren't lost. 

Just broken. 

Just like everything else here today.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @astrangersummer and follow along with the fun!

[stardust-moth]

Don't mind me, just resurrecting my blog from beyond the grave for the sole purpose of ranting about Mileven

ST fans and Mileven/Mike-antis really be out here missing the entire fucking point of this conversation??? "Mike is lying/gaslighting/in denial! Clearly he doesn't really love her!" (First of all, ya'll literally don't know what gaslighting is, but that's a conversation for another post) No, actually-- it's not about how Mike feels, or even about how he expresses it. It's about how Eleven has PTSD.

Her life in the lab with Brenner essentially taught her that love is conditional, particularly about her abilities. She only received praise or affection if she impressed Papa with her powers; she was shunned and punished if she refused or couldn't do it.

We see this mentality carry over into her life after the lab as well-- if she fails, she feels immense guilt.

Often she pushes herself past her limits, insisting she can do it; because in her mind, if she can't, then she's no longer worthy of love.

Now that her psychic abilities are gone, her whole world has turned into this huge mess of doubt. Throw in the fact that Hopper is gone, they've moved to a new town away from all of her existing support systems aside from Joyce (who is apparently busy all the time), she's struggling to gain acceptance among new peers and is being bullied... She is clinging onto her relationship with Mike like it's the last thing she has, even resorting to lying to him in order to make it look like she's doing well; because Mike can't know that she's failing to fit in! She is so terrified of losing love, and all this doubt has her so convinced that she already has.

On Mike's end, however, all he can see from her letters to him is that she seems to be thriving, even enjoying her life away from him.

He expressed in later scenes that he has his own doubts and insecurities about this, that maybe there's something or someone out there better suited for her, more worthy of her love. This likely contributed to why he avoided the "L" word in his letters.

His own trauma from repeatedly losing her-- and being helpless to stop it-- comes into play, as well; if he allows himself to open up his heart and admit how much he loves her, it'll hurt so, so much if/when he loses her again. At the same time, I'm sure he's terrified of saying the wrong thing that may push her away.

It's also worth noting that Mike is generally not the best at verbally expressing himself-- he repeats himself, makes defensive outbursts without thinking, and awkwardly trips over his words. Mike's love language is his actions, in kind unspoken gestures, in quiet understanding and reassurance. Things that do not carry over well through letters alone, especially if he has no idea that she is in need of reassuring words. He couldn't see that she has been hurting this whole time. He's likely upset towards her for lying to him because he feels like he should have been there for her.

I've personally been there before-- it's hard to explain the mix of frustration and helplessness you feel when you realize a loved one has been suffering without your knowledge, when you feel like it should have been your responsibility to support them and you failed to, even though it's not your fault for not knowing. This entire situation/argument is something I've gone through with my partner; it is so realistic for a relationship involving someone with trauma like this, and it's a very mature thing for these kids to be handling (and Mike actually handled that conversation beautifully, if they wanted them to have an actual fight fight it could have been so much worse). I don't see it at all as an indication of a falling out between Mike and El. This was a necessary hurdle that they both need to work through, it's an indication that their relationship will strengthen from it.