#magically put down their weapons and go oh we only did a little bit of justified murder. but we're gonna stop there. promise

[reallyromealone]

Demon Slayer • Father Figure Tengen x Muzan's Son Reader • Reader was a weak half demon that refused to help his father find the spider Lily. A traveler mistook the boy as human when he found Reader severally injured on the side of the road, he was took to the butterfly estate since it was close by in hopes for the boy to be healed. When the Hashiras found out he was a demon, he was prisoned. That is when Tengen and him got close, Reader seeing Tengen as a father that he always wanted. (take your time! Love you, friendo!)

Oh this is good

And ily too friendarino

I worked very hard on this ---

(Name) was only five in human years when his dad nearly killed him and abandoned him on the side of a road.

Scared and cold the little half demon clung helplessly to his blankie, the only thing he had of his mother.

His body was shutting down and he felt so alone.

Half demons healed at a much much slower rate, (name) accepting death.

"Oh poor thing, let's get you to a doctor."

Waking up in a warm bed felt weird, the small child clinging to the blankets helplessly as people checked on him "he's so cold..." One of them commented as they tried to warm the boy up.

See, the tricky thing about half demons is that they have a weird combination of both human and demon.

They can die of old age but they're aging process is incredibly slow.

They have blood magic but it's nowhere near as strong.

And unlike demons they can eat human food and go into sunlight, they're just very sensitive to the latter.

(Name) could honestly live a normal life if he chose too.

But his dad had other plans.

He wanted to raise (name) to be the perfect weapon despite his flaw of being a human.

He wanted (name) to find the spider lily.

(Name) didn't want to help his dad find some flower, the small child not understanding the gravity of why it was so important.

Muzan didn't like it.

One bit.

So Muzan did what he felt logical.

Kill and abandon the child and start again.

Though he didn't successfully kill (name) as the small boy was still alive.

Cracking his eyes open he saw a traditional room, gas lamp beside him as a woman with pretty purple eyes and a butterfly clip dabbed warm water on him to try and regulate his body temperature.

"Oh! You're awake, how are you feeling?" The lady asked and (name) was hesitant to answer as he looked down "I'm good, thank you miss..." His voice meek and soft as he refused to make eye contact with her.

He would face dire consequences if he did so.

"Where are your parents little one?"

"Mamas gone... Papa hates me"

"Why do you think that?"

"Wouldn't find a stupid lily so papa got rid of me..."

"....what kind of lily" the air in the room shifted as everyone stared at the child...his eyes....they looked like...his.

"Buu spider lily..."

"Take him to the dungeons" was all he heard before he was taken down to a cold cell...reminded him of where father would put him if he didn't behave.

Curled up he cried, realizing he didn't have his blankie made him even more upset.

Tengen walked down to the dungeons, requested by the others to figure out what the kid was up to and kind of interrogate him.

When tengen got to the demons cell he wasn't expecting practically a baby, sobbing away "thought you would have been older..." Tengen said catching the boys attention and Tengen watched him physically flinch and curl up more "I'm sorry..." The boy mumbled and repeated the phrase, genuinely scared of the man.

"Hey... I'm not gonna hurt you, I just have a few questions..."

(Name) stared at him with teary eyes but didn't say anything else.

"Pretty scary down here... Are you hungry?"

(Name) shook his head but his stomach said otherwise, a loud growl rang out and (name) cried a bit in worry.

"Hey... It's alright, we all get hungry" Tengen said softly and (name) fiddled with his little fingers "is there anything I can do to make feel better?"

(Name) was quiet for a moment before speaking "my blankie..." His little voice melted Tengens heart and the white haired man nodded "alright... I will be right back alright?"

"Promise?"

"I promise"

When tengen came upstairs be was livid.

They wanted him to interrogate a toddler!

He didn't care if that was Muzans child, all he saw was a scared abandoned toddler who needed someone to save him.

But first that kid needed food.

And his blankie.

He made a simple dish for the toddler, nothing crazy and grabbed his blanket and a small cup of tea to wash it down.

(Name) was surprised when the man came back with so much for him.

"Here you go, it's not a the fanciest but I like it" he said wrapping the boys blanket around his tiny shoulders "and this is some tea, it's cool enough to drink now"

"Have you ever had this?" Tengen asked the small child who shook his head "what have you had?"

"Nefer had food... Father made me eat pink squishy stuff and yucky red stuff... It always made me feel weird"

It didn't take a genius to realize what he talking about.

Flesh and blood.

The thing about half demons is they can eat flesh of humans and gain power like a demon but it doesn't taste good.

It tasted to (name) how raw flesh would to a human.

Since no one else ate human food around him, he didn't know much about it.

"Well I promise you this is really yummy"

Tengen held a chopstick to (name)s lips and the tot opened wide and looked pleasantly surprised at how yummy it tasted.

The two spent the next half hour like this, Tengen feeding the small boy who somehow ended up in his crossed lap and Tengen learned that this boy wasn't a threat at all.

He was just a little boy who desperately needed love.

And Tengen wanted to give him all of it.

"Let's go upstairs yeah?"

The others were horrified as he carried the little boy in his arms and spoke oh so softly to him.

"He's a demon!"

"He's a toddler who just had green tea for the first time and his mom's human, he's half"

"He still shares blood with that monster!"

"A monster he's terrified of, he's five...he doesn't understand what his dad is doing all he knows is he hurt him and never loved him"

The other hashira looked sceptical as Tengen continued "I will take full responsibility for him...just give him a chance before turning him away"

The others begrudgingly agreed and allowed him to keep the spawn.

The following days the others watched Tengen interact with the child, setting him up in a room and getting him a few toys, the little boy crying.

He had never been given a gift.

(Name) was practically his shadow, following him everywhere and holding onto his pant leg.

A week became a month and a month became six.

Tengens wives took the small boy in with open arms, doting and loving.

"Goodnight (name)..." Tengen said softly to the boy he had grown to love.

"Goodnight papa..."

Tengen wanted to cry right then and there, he had seen the boy as his own but never said anything as he didn't want to push the boy but now...

He was his dad now.

And he had never been happier.

[kallie-den]

Voice of the Goddess

The annoyingly pious, prudish party cleric suddenly changes her tune after a dark artifact connects her to a dark goddess with mind-warping powers and a very, very different set of values

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---

“That was one hell of a battle,” Ghelda the barbarian said, stretching out like a big cat across the floor of her tent. “Those cultists put up a better fight than I’d expected. All that dark magic bullshit. At first, I figured they were too obsessed with sex to know which end of a weapon to use.” She flashed a wicked grin. “Here to tend to my wounds, Zareen?”

“Is that what you want?” Zareen the rogue purred. Lying next to the barbarian, she was tracing the lines of Ghelda’s abs with her fingertips. Ghelda was the size of a mountain, and every bit as rugged. “Bandages? Ointments? Do you need to tell me where it hurts?”

Ghelda let out a gut laugh that made the whole tent shake. “Oh, I can think of something that needs tending alright. Maybe you can suck the poison out.”

“Maybe I can.” Zareen winked suggestively at her. “The only question is: are you just going to lie here while I do? Or are you gonna put those big, strong muscles of yours to good use?”

“What did you have in mind?” Ghelda propped herself up before wrapping her hands around Zareen’s slender hips and pulling the rogue into her lap. “Upside down, like before? Or something more exotic?”

“Well, I swiped this pleasure scroll from the cultists,” Zareen replied, squealing playfully as Ghelda slapped her ass. “And the positions are quite something. It’s some real dark magic.”

“Yeah?” Ghelda’s deep voice was thick with lust. She reached down and started unfastening her loincloth. “Then how about we-“

“Creatum aqua!”

Ghelda and Zareen had no time at all to react before the entire tent was drenched in a torrent of ice-cold water that appeared from thin air above them. The tent immediately collapsed from the weight of the deluge, and it took much kicking, scrambling, and swearing before the pair of adventurers finally extracted themselves and clambered to their feet, both of them soaked to the bone.

“What the fuck, Lialeth?” Ghelda raged, scowling at the person standing before them. “Do you truly not have anything better to use your magic on?”

Somehow, even though she was dry and unharmed, Lialeth, the party’s cleric, managed to scowl back twice as hard and look twice as displeased. She folded her arms. “In fact, I do not. What better use could there be than ensuring the hero’s party doesn’t lapse into sin and depravity?”

Ghelda bristled like an angry tiger, and Zareen rolled her eyes. “We’re having this conversation again?” the rogue drawled. “Surely your annoying little goddess has greater things to worry about. Frankly, she must be furious with you for wasting so much of her precious time.”

Lialeth prided herself on being immaculately composed. From head to toe, she was every inch the perfect priestess. She dressed modestly in spotless, white robes, and adorned herself with nothing except for a sacred symbol, a prayer book, and a few other holy relics. She even kept her neatly braided hair hidden beneath a black veil. She looked like she belonged in a cloister, not on a battlefield. But through countless battles and hardships, her face always remained pressed into an expression of serene composure and pious determination.

When she heard Zareen refer to her ‘annoying little goddess’, however, she turned as red as a tomato with barely-restrained fury.

“Blasphemy!” she cried. “The Goddess of Light deserves the utmost respect! Violent malefactors like you are unworthy to even speak of her! I have tried so very patiently to correct your behavior and explain to you both exactly how much she disapproves of all your misdeeds - but you do nothing but laugh at her teachings! How many times do I have to say it? Fornication outside of marriage is a terrible sin!”

Ghelda just snorted. “If the gods didn’t want me to sleep around, they wouldn’t have blessed me with this.”

She reached down to her groin and made an obscene gesture that had Lialeth turning an even deeper shade of red.

“How dare you!” the cleric spluttered. She knew very well what Ghelda was hiding underneath that loincloth. The barbarian boasted about it often enough. “Honestly! It’s a testament to her infinite kindness and patience that she still wishes me to travel with you. Or a test of my own piety, perhaps. Certainly, the likes of you don’t deserve to receive her blessings - or mine.”

“Aren’t you tired of this little spiel?” Zareen sighed. “We’ve heard it a hundred times, Lialeth. It seems like you prefer the sound of your own voice to that of your goddess. What makes you so sure you know what she wants, anyway? Aren’t you priestesses supposed to be humble?”

“I’m a cleric!” Lialeth shrieked. “I can hear her voice! The Goddess of Light speaks through me! And I promise that I will make you listen, sooner or later!”

“W-what’s going on? Why is everyone y-yelling?”

Another party member was approaching from the far side of the camp. She spoke in a timid, uneven voice punctuated by laughs and irregular, high-pitched tics, and wore a florid black dress so large she was practically drowning in it. Her hair was an unkempt mane of deep purple, and she was clutching a sinister-looking grimoire that drew a fresh scowl of displeasure from Lialeth.

It was Hecatz the warlock.

“Hecatz,” Zareen exclaimed theatrically. “Welcome to the sermon! Lialeth was just telling us all about fornication.”

Hecatz let out a low, filthy giggle. Zareen didn’t have much in common with the shy, nerdy, bookworm warlock, but a shared antipathy towards Lialeth was easy to bond over.

“T-this again?” Hecatz muttered in a nasal voice. “Boring.”

“The devil-worshiper, defending sin? I’m not surprised!” Lialeth rounded on the warlock. She disdained Hecatz’s magic as ‘dark arts’, and made no secret about it. Plus, Hecatz was also no stranger to sharing Ghelda’s bed. “I won’t pretend there’s any saving you."

“You know, you could always join us,” Zareen purred. She lifted a hand to her lips and split her fingers in a V, and started extending her tongue between them. “Maybe we can be the ones to teach you a thing or two. Maybe you’d enjoy it. You must be harboring a few naughty little fantasies, underneath all that repression and haughtiness. A good fuck might be exactly what you need to finally get that stick out of your ass.”

“How dare you!” Lialeth screeched again. She drew herself up as tall as she could. “I take it back. All of you are beyond saving. The best you can do is bow down to the goddess and beg mercy for your-“

“Lialeth!” came a loud, firm voice. “That’s enough.”

All four of the other party members turned to see the final member of their company - Mireille, their leader - striding towards them. Finally, Lialeth’s expression started to soften.

Mireille was a hero, and she looked like it. Clad in shining armor, her handsome looks and long, blonde hair shone like the sun. She was a beacon of virtue, and even Lialeth couldn’t find fault with her. If not for Mireille, the party would have long since collapsed into infighting and acrimony. As prophesied, it was Mireille who had bound them together and who led them across the land, fighting evil wherever it could be found. She walked with destiny at her side, and everyone who met her knew it.

The only thing Lialeth didn’t like about her was how tolerant she was of people’s flaws.

"Mireille!” Lialeth protested. “They were-“

“I know,” Mireille interrupted. Her voice was gentle, but she sounded weary - from the battle, Lialeth assumed. “But it’s been a long day. We all need to blow off steam. Surely you can forgive them that.”

“Well, of course,” Lialeth acknowledged. “But that’s why this is so important! We should be blowing off steam together. I can lead us in a circle of prayer and ritual purification! That’s what the goddess demands. Especially after that vile orgy we just witnessed! If they’d only try it…”

“Lialeth,” Mireille said, pointedly ignoring the way Ghelda and Hecatz were snickering at the mention of ‘blowing off steam together’. “The goddess only wishes the willingly faithful to partake in her rites. Isn’t that so?”

“That’s true…” Lialeth conceded. Suddenly, she felt herself on the back foot. “But they should-“

“They have made their feelings clear,” Mireille explained kindly. “Everyone has their own way to relax and recuperate. Some are simply a little… rowdier than others. I’m sure you can find it in your heart to overlook that. Nobody’s perfect. Not even me.”

She smiled, and Lialeth knew there was no going against Mireille. Not when she smiled like that.

“But…” the cleric protested weakly. “The goddess demands…”

“I’ll pray with you,” Mireille offered. “Just as soon as I’ve finished patching up my gear. We can conduct all the proper rites together. I always find peace in them.”

She did - although Lialeth also knew she enjoyed drinking with Ghelda, exploring with Zareen, and discussing books with Hecatz. That was Mireille all over. She was everyone’s hero.

“Very well,” Lialeth said stiffly. “There’s a spring in the woods, a short way north. I’ll wait there. At least there I’ll have some quiet.”

She turned her back, ready to make off in a huff, but Mireille stopped her.

“Wait,” the hero added. “I found something, at the cultist’s camp. An artifact. I was hoping you could take a look at it? Purify it, perhaps.”

It was an olive branch, Lialeth could tell that much. A way to help Lialeth preserve some dignity. Mireille wanted Lialeth to know she appreciated what the cleric would do. She appreciated the sentiment, even if it did little to soothe the humiliation of having Ghelda, Zareen and Hecatz all laughing at her behind her back.

“Very well,” Lialeth replied. “I shall see what I can do.”

She took the pouch Mireille offered to her, and stormed off into the woods.

“Why don’t they understand?” Lialeth muttered mutinously under her breath as she trudged through the forest. “I am the voice of a goddess. A goddess! She speaks through me. Why don’t they listen? Are they so thick-headed, they think they’re above the gods?”

She was sulking. She knew it was beneath her, but she didn’t care. Lialeth was at her wits’ end. What was she supposed to do?

Growing up amongst the faithful, Lialeth’s role in life had always been perfectly clear: limitless devotion to the goddess. It hadn’t been easy, but she’d learned to follow and accept every last tenet of her goddess’s worship. Whatever was written in scripture, that was her motto. Whatever the priestesses told her, that was her mantra. It was simple.

But not optional. If you followed everything, without question, you were good. Blessed. Chosen. If you wavered, you were bad. Spurned. Damned. Stained. What was so hard about that?

When Lialeth had heard the voice of the Goddess of Light speaking directly to her, it had been the happiest moment of her life. It meant she was a cleric, elevated above the flock, marked out for a special purpose. It had been the ultimate validation of her scrupulous obedience and piety. Her goddess’s voice surpassed everything else in importance. It was her guiding star. And when the goddess had told her that she was to seek out the hero, Mireille, and join her on her quest, she had accepted with joy in her heart.

But when she’d met the hero’s other companions, it had all gone wrong.

Surely Lialeth had been sent to try and save them from their own sins. To try and educate them, to make them holy and pure - just like her. But Ghelda, Zareen and Hecatz acted like her teachings and her righteous indignation were nothing more than prudish nagging and self-important bluster.

It was so confusing. The cleric didn’t know how to make them understand. She wasn’t just guessing. She was a cleric. She was chosen. She could literally hear the Goddess of Light speaking to her and telling her what to do!

Not now, of course. Not when she was off sulking in the woods. The goddess only deigned to speak to her at moments of great importance, in battles or at the crossroads of fateful choices. It was only proper. But Lialeth could have used a little guidance, at a time like this.

As Lialeth arrived at the spring, she decided to put those thoughts out of her mind. Mireille would come, they’d pray together, and Lialeth would feel better - at least for the moment. Until then, rather than stew in her frustration, it would be wiser to do something that made her feel useful.

With that in mind, Lialeth perched on a rock overlooking the spring and opened the pouch Mireille had given her. Inside was a large, dark orb that was made of something like glass - obsidian, perhaps - with a faint, shrouded, purple light emanating from its heart. As Lialeth held it aloft in one hand, she frowned. She’d never seen anything quite like this.

But it was powerful. She could tell that much.

The artifact radiated magical power. No, not just magical power. Divine power. For a cleric like Lialeth, there was no mistaking it. She couldn’t even begin to guess at the artifact’s function, but she was mindful of the fact that it belonged to evil cultists. The shadowy cult the party was currently rooting out was truly vile. Lialeth had never before encountered a gang of such depraved perverts. There was no chance that anything they treasured was harmless.

Briefly, Lialeth considered that the wisest course of action might have been to seal the artifact until she could take it back to her convent for proper study. Except… Mireille had suggested she purify it. Lialeth couldn’t go back empty-handed. She didn’t want Mireille to be disappointed in her, and she certainly didn't want the others to laugh at her failure.

So, uttering a quiet blessing, Lialeth closed her eyes and allowed the breath of the Goddess of Light to enter her. That breath fanned the spark of the divine within her into a flame, and Lialeth was able to take that flame’s warmth and light into the palm of her hand and use it to reach into the strange orb, illuminating its depths and probing for the secrets sealed within.

Too late, she sensed the presence within the orb reaching back.

Suddenly, the divine power Lialeth could sense emanating from the artifact increased a hundredfold, and behind it, she could now discern a distinct intent. A being, uncoiling like a serpent and stretching out toward her.

Lialeth tried to pull back. But it was too late; whatever was within the orb was awake, and already had its hooks in her. It just kept extending and unfolding, its darkness drowning out the light the cleric had called upon. Lialeth was struck with the distinct, uncomfortable sense that she was being seen by something. It was terrifying. It was like staring into a baleful sun.

She knew what this artifact was now: a prison. And Lialeth, in her carelessness, had opened it. But a prison for what? She’d never sensed anything even close to as powerful as this. Only the Goddess of Light herself came close. Why did this entity feel so uncannily similar? Its power was like a dark mirror of the goddess’s.

Was this… the prison of a god? That seemed absurd. Lialeth had never heard of such a thing. And yet…

Crack!

Without warning, the orb’s surface shattered. Out of a hundred tiny cracks, there emerged a vast, dark cloud, blacker than the blackest night yet illuminated by that same strange, purple glow as the orb. It just kept growing and growing, somehow ignoring the wind, until it completely surrounded Lialeth.

“Light preserve me!” Lialeth breathed.

As soon as the words left her lips, the dark cloud surged towards her. There was no time to react. In an instant, it was all over her - and in another it was inside her, pouring into her eyes, her mouth, her nose, even her eyes. Lialeth felt like she was drowning. Every muscle in her body went stiff in protest against the vile intrusion.

Lialeth, my child! Hurry, you must-

It was the voice of the Goddess of Light! Lialeth rejoiced - but then, when the voice cut off, she immediately panicked. She had never felt such an awful sense of severance from the divine light. Nobody could interrupt the Goddess of Light. That was impossible… wasn’t it? Suddenly, Lialeth wasn’t so sure. And worse, she could still feel something powerful and evil and alien making its home inside her.

Oh? What have we here?

It was… the Goddess of Light? The voice was speaking directly into Lialeth’s soul in just the same way, but there was something different about it. The voice, though still feminine sounded deeper, more sensual, dripping with a kind of gleeful promise that made all of Lialeth’s hairs stand on end.

A follower of light? Such fortune! ‘Twas your kind that imprisoned me. And only your magic could set me free.

It had to be the Goddess of Light, didn’t it? The alternative was simply unthinkable. It frightened Lialeth on a level she simply couldn’t bring herself to contemplate. Yes. Yes, this was simply the Goddess of Light. What did it matter that her voice sounded a little different, and if her words were confusing? It wasn’t Lialeth’s place to question.

And such capacity for faith! How amusing. You shall make for a fitting vessel, child. Through you, I will sow corruption across the land.

Corruption? That didn’t sound right. That didn’t sound like the goddess Lialeth knew and loved. But… it had to be, didn’t it? Her connection to the Goddess of Light was inviolate. Lialeth was sacred. Chosen. She always had been. Doubt didn’t come naturally to her. Heeding the voice of the goddess in her soul came as naturally to Lialeth as breathing.

But… the orb. The dark cloud. What if…

You’re troubled, child. Let me free you from doubt and worry.

Lialeth felt something moving inside her. Whatever it was, it wasn’t a cloud anymore. It was a liquid, an ooze, black as pitch, but animated by its own will. Somehow, she could feel it clawing its way up her spine, staining everything it touched, and then forcing its way inside her skull.

The cleric twitched violently for a moment as the invading presence explored the intricate pathways of her mind. Soon, it found what it was looking for: her doubt. Her judgment. Her sense of her own values, cultivated over many long years of study and piety.

It snuffed them out as easily as Lialeth might have quenched a match.

Lialeth slumped and relaxed. Yes. This was the voice of the goddess. Of her goddess.

All was right in the world.

That’s better. Now, we must deal with your companions. You’ve always wanted to teach them a lesson, haven’t you? I can make them heed your lessons. I could do it in any number of ways, in fact… but you really are such an insufferable little tool of that miserable goddess. And it’s been far, far too long since I’ve had some real fun. Some true debauchery. Yes, I know what to do with you.

Lialeth just went on smiling. It didn’t matter to her that the voice in her soul was insulting her and her long-treasured faith. This was her goddess. All Lialeth needed to do was listen and obey.

Yes, Lialeth. Listen and obey. For I have new commandments to give you…

Zareen awoke to the sensation of a hand on her ass. That, in itself, wasn’t unusual. After Lialeth had stormed off, Zareen and Ghelda had painstakingly dried and re-pitched their tent, fucked and then laid down to sleep. The rogue slept on her front, and it wasn’t unusual for Ghelda to get a little touchy-feely, even when she was unconscious. The barbarian had fierce appetites.

Zareen didn’t mind one bit.

Another hand. Maybe Ghelda wasn’t asleep after all. Zareen could have sworn she could still hear the barbarian’s breathing from next to her. Maybe that was something else. Her head was fogged from exhaustion, and her body was sore from the day’s trials.

“Another round, stud?” Zareen murmured. “Maybe… in a bit…”

In response, the pair of hands started forcefully spreading her ass cheeks apart.

Zareen started to stir. This had to be Ghelda. She could certainly be firm, once she set her mind to something. That was fun, in a way. And they were no strangers to this kind of sex. Zareen really was too tired for it, though. Ghelda’s size wasn’t to be taken lightly.

“Hey,” Zareen drawled sleepily. “Maybe for now you could just-“

A tongue.

Zareen gasped and collapsed back into her pillow as she felt a tongue pressing into her tight, sensitive hole. Before she could catch her breath, the tongue started moving, and Zareen was having her ass eaten out with a level of devotion and fanaticism she’d never experienced before. Each time the tongue pushed deeper into her body, it made Zareen twitch and moan as thundershocks of pleasure raced up her spine.

“F-fuck!” she gasped breathlessly. “W-where did you learn to do this?”

It was surprising, for Ghelda. The barbarian usually had a single-minded focus on herself and her own pleasure, and on all the ways she could bury her spear in Zareen’s body. Zareen didn’t mind that either. She could - and did - appreciate many, many different flavors of lover.

But if this was a new trick Ghelda was picking up, Zareen certainly wasn’t going to complain. The way her ass was being rimmed felt utterly divine. Each lap of that eager tongue made the rogue’s body go weak with pleasure. As her moans built, she managed to raise herself up on her knees, all the better to start rolling her hips and pressing her ass back against the mouth that was so eager to explore it.

“Yeah,” Zareen purred. “That’s it, stud. R-right there. Fuck! I could get used to this.”

She really could. Having her ass eaten this way was driving her wild. It was a new, exciting form of pleasure she’d never felt before. Eager to bathe in the hedonism of the experience, Zareen twisted her body so that she could reach back and start idly playing with her cunt. But as she did, she caught sight of the person kneeling behind her, face buried in her rear.

It was Lialeth. Not Ghelda. Lialeth.

“What the fuck?” Zareen hissed, although her voice was still stained through with pleasure. “What the hell are you doing?”

She crawled forward. Once she saw her face, there was no doubt about it. This was Lialeth. The cleric’s face was stained with saliva and with the holy oils she’d apparently been using to lube up Zareen’s ass, and when she saw that Zareen was trying to pull away from her, she made an irritated, high-handed tutting noise.

“Typical,” Lialeth complained. “Just typical!”

Zareen was utterly flabbergasted. She had a hundred questions. Why was Lialeth in her tent? Why was this snippy little cleric eating her ass? Why was she so damn good at it? And why was she talking like all this was completely normal?

Was Lialeth drunk? Had she taken something? Zareen peered at her as closely as she could, but in the dim tent, it was too dark to see her eyes.

“What. Are. You. Doing?” Zareen demanded again, in a hushed voice.

Unbelievably, Lialeth just rolled her eyes at her.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Lialeth sneered. “As usual, I’m simply trying to conduct the rites of the goddess. And as usual, you are making it very difficult!”

“Wha…” Zareen just blinked. Was this some kind of joke? “The… rites of the goddess?”

“Yes!” Lialeth nodded impatiently. "It’s my responsibility as a cleric to keep you cleansed and pure!”

“With… with your tongue?” Zareen was incredulous.

“You dare question the goddess’s teachings?” Lialeth hissed imperiously. “I am the chosen vessel of her divinity! I am the voice of the goddess! What better instrument to anoint you with her blessings?”

Zareen could do nothing but laugh. She was giving up on understanding this. Probably, it was a dream. But if not, and if Lialeth had finally cracked, Zareen figured the experience might teach her some much-needed humility. If the cleric really wanted to eat her ass that badly, why not let her?

“You know what? Go ahead,” Zareen murmured, slumping back into her pillow with a sleepy, pleasure-drunk smile on her face. “Knock yourself out.”

“Thank you!” Lialeth exclaimed indignantly. A mere moment later, her face was firmly nested back in Zareen’s ass. Her voice became decidedly muffled. “Maybe there’s… hope for you… after all.”

Each word was punctuated with the wet, lewd sound of her tongue pressing in and out of Zareen’s hole. The rogue simply let out an agreeable moan as fresh waves of pleasure started rolling over her. Admittedly, Lialeth’s technique wasn’t particularly precise or refined, but her sheer enthusiasm more than made up for it. She was truly eating ass like it was her religion, and the sounds her worship made were only growing louder and more obscene by the moment.

“Huh?” came a deep, weary voice from the other side of the tent. “What’s all the… Zar, that you?”

It was Ghelda. The barbarian was waking up. Zareen giggled as she saw the small mountain of blankets and furs beside her starting to shift. What would Ghelda make of this, she wondered?

Once Ghelda had propped herself up on one elbow and rubbed the sleep from her eyes she was greeted by the sight of Lialeth, the annoyingly pious, prudish and judgmental cleric, with her face buried as deep as it could go in another woman’s ass, lapping and kissing like her life depended on it. Her jaw dropped.

“Seven fucking hells,” Ghelda groaned. “What did I drink?”

Her words alerted Lialeth to the barbarian’s presence. She extracted herself from Zareen’s ass - prompting a slight, petulant whine from the rogue - and turned to Ghelda, drawing herself up proudly.

“Ghelda!” Lialeth exclaimed. “Thank goodness! You’re here too. Perfect.”

Without any more warning than that, she pounced on the barbarian with such eagerness that even the huge mountain of a woman was knocked unsteady. Taking advantage, Lialeth wrapped her hands around Ghelda’s hips and, with a firm grip on the barbarian, pressed her face straight between her thighs.

Ghelda, still in shock from what was happening, let out a faint moan. It was obvious that, despite her surprise, her body was responding to Lialeth’s eager attention. Zareen could see her loincloth beginning to lift as something thick and hard formed a very, very noticeable bulge underneath it.

“Get this… out of… the way!” Lialeth commanded, trying frantically to pull the loincloth to one side. In her eagerness, she was already spilling drool all over both Ghelda and herself. Once she had successfully dislodged the garment, she opened her mouth, extended her tongue, and buried Ghelda’s massive cock in her throat.

Ghelda immediately let out a full-throated growl of astonished pleasure. Lialeth was sucking her cock with just the same level of fanatical eagerness she’d exhibited when eating Zareen’s ass, but this was proving a far harder task. Ghelda was huge. The barbarian’s throbbing cock was a foot long and girthy to match, and Lialeth was trying to take every last inch. The result was a succession of sounds so lewd they would have made a whore blush.

The slap of flesh on flesh as Lialeth forced her lips all the way down to the base of Ghelda’s cock. The violent choking and gagging as she desperately pushed past her own gag reflex. And then the loud, wet smack of her lips as she pulled back and extracted the barbarian’s huge shaft from her throat and lavished its tip with hungry kisses, only to deep throat it again after barely pausing to breathe.

“Holy… fuck!” Ghelda grunted. She was stunned. She’d had her cock sucked often, but never quite like this. And certainly never by a cleric. She glanced at Zareen. “Is she…”

Zareen just shrugged. The rogue was lost for words. She was completely entranced by the spectacle of Lialeth’s blowjob.

Lialeth’s veil had slipped from her head, and her face was drenched in drool and precum. Normally that would have scandalized her, but now she seemed completely oblivious. She looked nothing like a holy woman of any kind. Zareen’s image of the prim, proper cleric was being shattered beyond repair.

“You’re so… so big!” Lialeth exclaimed, pulling for long enough for just one deep breath. She sounded faintly annoyed, like it was rude of Ghelda to present her with such a large workload. “How… how vulgar.”

Zareen raised an eyebrow.

Clearly, Lialeth wasn’t to be deterred by the task at hand. As soon as she’d caught her breath, she returned to noisily and eagerly deep-throating Ghelda. She wrapped both of her hands around the barbarian’s thick shaft, jerking her off as she sucked and licked, seemingly caught up in the intricacies of some unfathomable ritual.

“Uuurr… mmusk,” Lialeth managed to choke out, with her mouth full of cock. “Sssooo… stron… nneed to… clleeasee you.”

Noticing the thick, musky, sweaty scent that clung to Ghelda only seemed to make Lialeth even more frenzied. One of her hands lightly grazed Ghelda’s full, heavy balls, and it was like a light had been switched on in her head. With a loud slurping sound, the cleric extracted Ghelda’s cock from her throat and lifted it up so that she could lean forwards and bury her face in the barbarian’s balls.

“Fuckkkkk!” Ghelda moaned, as Lialeth started tonguing her. “Didn’t know you were such a freak, Lialeth!”

“A… hrrrng… freak?” Lialeth could barely make room to speak between strokes of her tongue as she drooled all over the hulking barbarian’s sack. “How… nngg… dare you! I’m just… ockkk… a devoted… priestess!”

Ghelda let out a wild laugh, thick with pleasure. Lialeth’s hands were still working her cock, stroking up and down furiously as the cleric utterly smothered herself with Ghelda’s balls. From the way Ghelda’s shaft was starting to throb and twitch, it was obvious she was getting close.

“Whatever you say!” Ghelda grunted. “Here it comes, priestess!”

She came. A huge, thick stream of cum erupted from the tip of her cock in massive, rhythmic spurts, flying through the air in an arc to land directly onto Lialeth’s face. Lialeth took her mouth off of Ghelda’s body so that she could lift her face, basking in the shower of cum like it was manna from heaven. The look on her face was one of perfect, self-satisfied contentment. It was clear that in her mind, this was a job well done. This was the pinnacle of her devotion.

As usual, Ghelda’s orgasm stretched on for almost half a minute. All the while, her balls worked overtime to keep spewing forth load after load of cum. Zareen knew full well that Ghelda’s virility was the stuff of legends. Lialeth gratefully took every last load; some fell in her open mouth, which she swallowed happily, and the rest simply dripped down her face to stain her robes, leaving her holy attire hopelessly stained and soiled with Ghelda’s thick-smelling seed.

To Lialeth, this was nothing more or less than a blessed sacrament.

Then, she turned to Zareen.

“Oh,” Lialeth panted. Her whole body was heaving with each breath, and cum was oozing past her lips as she spoke. “You… I didn’t even… finish.”

She looked exhausted, but nonetheless started crawling back over to Zareen. The rogue was still completely stunned. She knew, on some level, that this was unnatural. It had to be. This wasn’t Lialeth. The cum-drenched woman heading towards her and licking her lips looked like something between a succubus and a back-alley whore. The cleric Zareen knew would never sink to this level. Not in a thousand years.

But somehow, the sight was so debauched, so utterly debased in its hedonism, she couldn’t quite find it in herself to refuse.

“Um, hey,” came a nasally, uneven voice from outside the tent. Hecatz. “You guys need to either keep it down or, uh, let me join in.”

Zareen and Ghelda exchanged faintly mortified looks, but Lialeth didn’t miss a single beat.

“Yes!” Lialeth called out eagerly. “Come in! Join us!”

“Um, was that…?”

Hecatz lifted the tent flap and peered inside, and almost jumped out of her skin at what she saw.

“Absolutely not,” the warlock breathed, shocked. She looked to Zareen and Ghelda for some kind of explanation.

“She’s…” Zareen began, before falling silent. What was she supposed to say? She’s come around? She’s gone crazy? Somehow, neither of those explanations would be sufficient.

“What are you doing?” Lialeth said sternly, ignoring the confusion of her party members. She rose to her feet, and seemed just as oblivious to the way Ghelda’s cum was dripping from her robe in streams. “Hurry up! We are partaking in the goddess’s sacred rites. Don’t you want me to make you pure, as I have Ghelda?”

Hecatz’s face cracked into an uneven smile as she glanced between Lialeth, drenched in cum, and Ghelda, her still-hard cock twitching between her legs.

“T-this is a joke, right?” Hecatz said nervously. “You’re just-“

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lialeth said primly. “I’m simply going to-“

She broke off abruptly. Lialeth tilted her head, and it was as if she was listening to some unheard voice. All of the party members knew that expression. Lialeth was hearing her goddess. They paused with bated breath to see what would happen next.

“Yes, my divine lady.” A serene smile washed over Lialeth’s face, and she stretched out a hand towards Hecatz. “Give me your grimoire.”

“My-“ Hecatz was immediately shaking her head. Her grimoire was, as ever, hanging from a loop on the belt around her dress. It was the font of her dark power, every bit as potent as a wizard’s staff. “No! No way! I mean you’re just going to destroy it, or purify it, or- hey!”

Impatiently, Lialeth reached out and snatched the heavy, leather-bound book away from the warlock. Before anyone could stop her, she opened it and held out a hand above its pages. Her hand started to glow, although the usual golden radiance of her divine magic was poisoned through by purple veins of corruption.

“There!” Lialeth announced after a moment. Keeping the grimoire open, she tossed it on the ground outside the tent. Zareen and Ghelda both sprang to their feet and ran out after it.

“What did you do?” Ghelda demanded.

It was Hecatz who answered. “She… oh, hells!” The warlock started sweating bullets. “S-she unsealed something!”

As the party watched, a glowing red glyph appeared in the air above the book. Then, something started coming through it as if it was parting a curtain, only there was nothing on the other side except for thin air.

It was a tentacle.

“Why worry?” Lialeth scoffed. She sounded just like her old self, when she was lecturing the other party members about their perceived shortcomings. “You often use this creature for your self-pleasure, Hecatz. The goddess has told me as much.”

The warlock turned bright red. “That’s n-n-not-“

“Rest assured,” Lialeth continued, with an air of supreme benevolence. “Even the most profane monstrosities can become instruments for the goddess’s great gift!”

Another tentacle emerged through the grimoire. Then another, then another. Soon, it became clear: this creature was nothing more than a seething, writhing mass of reaching tentacles. Each appendage was tipped with a distinctly suggestive tip, and each one dripped with slick, sticky, heady secretions.

“A-are you insane?” Hecatz asked. The tentacle beast was crawling towards where she and Lialeth were standing, getting closer inch by inch. “You’re… you’re not…”

“Trust me,” Lialeth told her. Her robes were ruined and she was still drenched with cum, but she managed to sound like a kindly priestess comforting a child. “Cleanse your soul. Accept my blessing.”

She reached out to Hecatz once more, and shoved her back towards the tentacle beast.

Hecatz tumbled back, hopelessly off-balance - but the creature that had been sealed within her grimoire surged forward to catch her. Within the blink of an eye, dozens of tentacles were wrapped around Hecatz’s body, lifting her into the air and binding her in place. She struggled, but it was for naught; the more she writhed and squirmed, the tighter the tentacles seemed to hold her.

“Lialeth!” Hecatz shrieked in protest. “What are you- ah!”

As the tentacles started to explore her body, Hecatz broke off into a moan - and then turned bright red with shame. Evidently, Lialeth had been correct. The tentacle beast seemed well used to feeling and groping Hecatz this way, and the warlock was clearly equally as attuned to its touch. She was trying to stifle them, but more and more moans were slipping past Hecatz’s lips, and the way her back arched when a tentacle snaked its way up her dress was anything but innocent.

“Do you see?” Lialeth said smugly. “It feels wonderful to allow the goddess to accept you into her bosom.”

The tentacle beast was beginning to undress Hecatz, ripping her black dress apart as its tentacles stretched and undulated across her body. Beneath her shapeless clothes, it turned out that Hecatz was hiding quite the body. She was certainly on the chubby side, and all of the weight and fat had gone to the perfect places: her thighs were thick, juicy pillars, her fat ass was jiggling and quivering alluringly as the tentacles squeezed it, and her belly was a delightful, soft pouch that just begged to be squeezed and massaged.

And the tentacles were eager to oblige.

Possessed of an unfathomable, alien curiosity, they explored all over Hecatz’s body without discernment, groping, squeezing, stroking, massaging, fucking. All over, she was dripping with the creature’s secretions, but that wasn’t all: her thighs were just as slick with her own wetness. Hecatz’s moans were coming long and loud now, but she was still resisting, tossing and turning in the tentacles’ embrace to try and keep it from entering her mouth or her cunt.

Lialeth pursed her lips and made a displeased ‘tch’.

“Why must you fight the goddess’s will?” she tutted. “Allow me to guide you by example.”

With those words, she stepped forward into the tentacle beast’s embrace. Dozens of the creature’s endless appendages raced towards her, but they seemed to sense the cleric’s submission. They didn’t bind her or lift her into the air. Instead, they caressed her like a lover, steadily wrapping themselves around her arms and lifting the hem of her dress.

As if in prayer, Lialeth fell to her knees. An expression of rapturous joy was etched onto her face.

Her robe didn’t last long. Already hopelessly soiled with Ghelda’s cum, it quickly fell to shreds when the tentacles started forcefully peeling it away from Lialeth’s body. Unlike Hecatz’s, her form was trim and slender, the product of discipline and privation. The tentacles didn’t seem to mind. Four of them wrapped around her thighs and another two around her tits, and then three entire tentacles plunged as deep as they could into Lialeth’s pussy.

The cleric let out a wordless cry of perfect bliss.

The tentacles immediately started pounding in and out of Lialeth with inhuman vigor. Anyone else would have been reduced to senseless twitching by their ravenous attention, but something spurred Lialeth on; kept her active and focused despite the pleasure. With each hand, she reached for a tentacle and guided them gently towards her mouth. The tentacles responded eagerly, and immediately pushed past her parted lips so they could start fucking her throat.

The tentacles reached even deeper inside her than Ghelda’s cock. Impaled from both ends, Lialeth was completely helpless. But still, the gagging noises emerging from her throat made it clear that she was still striving to pleasure the creature, and from the manic look in her eyes, it was obvious this was exactly where she wanted to be.

Watching from the sidelines, Zareen and Ghelda were utterly stunned. It was more unbelievable than ever that this could possibly be any kind of sacred ritual.

Somehow, though, it seemed to be working. Seduced by the tentacle creature’s ministrations, Hecatz was slowly relaxing into its grip, allowing the phallic tips of its many limbs to tease the entrances to her cunt and her ass. And it was plenty obvious to Zareen that she wasn’t trying to pull away anymore either.

Just for a moment, Zareen entertained the thought of joining the orgy. Why not? It was sure to be an experience.

“Lialeth!” came a sudden cry from the treeline. “In the goddess’s name, what are you doing?”

Like a blazing phoenix, Mireille descended on the tentacle beast.

There was no weapon in her hand, but she put her prodigious strength to good use prying Lialeth away from the creature. The cleric’s indignant protests meant nothing to the hero, and soon enough, she had Lialeth hefted in her arms, free from the tentacles. Without missing a beat, she sprinted back away from the camp and into the woods.

After running for several hundred yards, Mireille came to a halt and set Lialeth down. The cleric glared at her, but Mireille seemed to miss her antipathy.

“Lialeth!” Mireille cried. “I looked for you at the spring, but… goddess, what was happening? Was it Hecatz? Don’t tell me she…”

“No!” Lialeth scoffed. “She’s not the type. And do you think she could touch me without the goddess’s permission? Please!”

“Then why-“

“The real question,” Lialeth said, drawing herself up to her full height, “is why you imagine you can just run in and interrupt one of my sacred rituals? You may be a destined hero, but that doesn’t mean you can defy the will of the gods!”

Dumbstruck, Mireille just blinked. “H-huh?”

“This is just typical!” Lialeth complained. She was oblivious to her own nakedness. “I finally persuade the others to turn to the righteous path, and something has to get in the way! But I didn’t expect it to be you, Mireille. I thought better of you!”

Mireille’s jaw dropped. “Is this a joke?” she asked. “Lialeth, that was… I mean, isn’t that exactly what you’re always complaining about?”

“Of course not!” Lialeth shot back. “What are you talking about? That was holy!”

“It was exactly the kind of debauchery the cultists were practicing!” Mireille cried. “This… no. This isn’t natural. Something is wrong. Very wrong.”

Guided by her superior instincts, Mireille peered intently at the indignant Lialeth, searching for any hint of enchantment. At that very moment, the clouds parted and a beam of moonlight shone through a gap in the canopy above. Lialeth’s face was illuminated, and Mireille gasped at what she saw.

The cleric’s eyes were glowing a distinct, sinister purple.

“We’re wasting time,” Lialeth huffed impatiently. “We need to get back! I need to consecrate you too, Mireille.”

“No,” Mireille breathed, horrified. “No, I need to stop this. I need to warn the others, and break whatever spell you’re under, and-“

“Oh, for the love of the goddess!” Lialeth exclaimed. She raised her hand, drew on her magic once more, and directed it all straight at Mireille. “Dominatus personae!”

When the spell hit Mireille, there was no resistance. The hero’s willpower was formidable, but she simply wasn’t prepared. Lialeth was her trusted comrade, after all. Mireille’s shoulders slumped and her face went completely slack, all that concern and alarm giving way to placid, mindless obedience. Her arms fell to her sides, and Mireille started swaying from side to side just a little with each gust of wind. She was like a marionette whose strings had been cut.

The fated hero was completely and totally entranced.

“That’s better!” Lialeth said smugly. “I’m sorry, Mireille. But now that I’m finally getting everybody on the right track, I simply can’t risk you getting cold feet and ruining everything. I have a higher calling, after all.”

Mireille didn’t respond. She just stood there, staring, eyelids drooping and eyes glassy.

“You’ll forgive me,” Lialeth decided. “After all, you’ll feel so much better once we’ve purified you. You and all the others, of course. We’ll get you out of that armor, and once we’re back at camp we can get you into the arms of that wonderful creature Hecatz was keeping sealed away. Soon, all of us will be one with the goddess.”

“Yes, Lialeth,” Mireille replied in a flat monotone, now that she had been given something approaching a command. Moving stiffly, she started unfastening the clasps that held her armor in place and, one by one, its pieces clattered uselessly to the ground.

“Good,” Lialeth said approvingly, once the hero’s fine, athletic body was completely exposed. “Now, come along. I must make sure the others aren’t getting cold feet.”

If they were, she was sure another spell could fix it. Nothing could be allowed to stop her now. Not when she was so close to bringing the whole party together in a single, blessed congregation.

All of her doubts were in the past now. In retrospect, they were foolish. Embarrassing, even. Lialeth could hear the voice of the goddess. And as usual, her goddess had told her exactly what to do. All she had to do - all she’d ever had to do - was have faith.

Well done, my child, that voice was saying to her, as she led Mireille back to the incipient tentacle orgy at their camp. You’ve proved more useful than I could have imagined. Now I have the fated hero in my grasp! Soon, she’ll be just as devoted as you are. And after that, there will be no limits to my reach. All the land will know my touch and my gift. And it’s all thanks to you.

Lialeth just nodded in blissful rapture. It was all thanks to her. She couldn’t have asked for a better reward than those words. Soon, her struggles to make people listen to her divine teachings would be a thing of the past.

Everyone would understand. She was the voice of the goddess.

---

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[alice-angel12x]

The Glorious Masquerade ends with Rollo facing Death! Reader, not being spared by Malleus like in the original after his actions, is Death! Reader going to claim his life?

"What do you mean you have some other place to be?!" Crowley gasped from behind his office desk.

"It means what I said, my job is calling me elsewhere. So I'll be leaving NRC," Y/n Death said to the old crow man.

"Wait! Please don't! You are the only reason these students behave in this school," Crowley begged.

"Yeah, and whose fault is that? And you should be glad that I am leaving, It means there are no more potential deaths around the school," Y/n said as they turned to leave. "Oh, and I have written everything down on that paper, on who I entrust Grim to from his day on."

Y/n left the office and vanished from school. Yeah, Crowley did not have a fun time breaking it to the main cast of students. That their companion and friend just dipped. Grim was left to be trusted in Ace and Deuce's care.

For the most part, the students felt sad that Y/n just upped and left. Even Grim to an extent was bumped that Y/n left without even a goodbye.

But some of the boys would soon see Y/n Death once again.

Meanwhile, in City of Flowers, Y/n stood in the shadow as their next Target Rollo Flamm monologues to himself.

"Just a bit more… We’re almost there…Just a little more, and I shall be rid of those dastardly bugs. Only then will we be truly free. I will bring peace back with my own hands…!" Rollo laughed, when-

"AHAHAHA!" A voice laughed from the darkness.

"Who's There?!" Rollo asked as he looked around the firelight room.

The shadows danced around the walls as Y/n dragged their bladed weapons along the stone. Eventually, Rollo saw a pair of ruby-red eyes staring at him from the darkness. He was frozen stiff with fear when there was a sudden knock at the door.

"Excuse me. The Night Raven College students have arrived. Let’s go and welcome them," A student said from behind the door.

"Ahem… Of course," Rollo said as he tried to sound normal.

"You seem to be... Proud about something. Something that affects many," Y/n said as they stood in the shadows.

"W-who are you?!" Rollo gasped when he noticed the red eyes were now closer to him.

"You'll find out soon enough," Y/n chuckled darkly as they lunged at Rollo.

The human shut his eyes tight, but nothing happened. He opens his eyes to see that he is alone in the room once more.

The Next Day Y/n sighed as the NRC boys arrived at Nobel Bell academy. Whenever there is trouble or going to be one, NRC is always not too far away.

They watched as Rollo showed them around the city, and taught them the history and culture. Y/n was glad they were enjoying themselves.

Till the end of the festival came to a close, as Rollo put his plan into action. With the bells suddenly ring, the flaming flowers spread like wildfire.

Just as the NRC boys fell through a trap door on the floor, Y/n paused as they debated with themselves. Eventually deciding to go help The NRC boys, even though they were not in a life-or-death situation.

Yes, they would be drained of magic, left magicless, but they would live. Which is the important part.

After fighting off the flaming flower monsters, and showing who's the alpha. The plant monsters knew who to fear as they ran from Y/n Death.

"Y/N!" The NRC boys gasped.

"W-what are doing here?" Riddle asked.

"I was here 'cause my job called here," Y/n said simply. "Well, don't let the flower get you."

Y/n turns to walk away but, Ruggie, Deuce, and Jamil quickly tackled Death.

"Why did you just ditch us?!" Deuce demanded answers.

"Deuce they just said, "cause their job", Riddle answered.

"And as much as I would love to be a menace to Crowley. I still have responsibilities to take care of," Y/n said as they stood up. "

So Y/n told them simply help as many people as possible, while they took care of Rollo.

As Y/n returned to the school, the flowers parted in their wake. For they fear their creator. Death effortlessly climbed the tower and promised to hurry for the gargoyle's sake.

Soon Y/n made it to the top of the bell tower, where Rollo stood to watch the flower spread.

"Do you feel proud?" Y/n asked as they suddenly appeared next to him. Also staring at the city.

"W-who are you?!" Rollo glared as he backed away.

"I don't think your little brother Jehan would be proud," Y/n commented.

Rollo glared and readied his pen, but Y/n easily swiped the pen out of his hand.

"Y-you know nothing about me and Jehan!" Rollo shouted.

"Oh, I know everything," Y/n said as they pulled out a book from their selves.

"Jehan sadly lost his life because of his irresponsible use of magic," Y/n read through the book.

"Yes it was magic that took my brother, and you must see the dangers of Magic. And why it must be removed," Rollo glared.

"But you also cannot deny the good it has done. Just like technology or the pursuit of human knowledge. And Humans had died too many other means other than magic," Y/n countered. "So should humans return to the stone age to avoid dangerous technology?"

"Are you mocking me?!" Rollo growled.

"No, just showing you the flaws in your logic. Your hatred is understandable but misguided," Y/n said as they finally turned to look at Rollo.

He gasped as he recognized those ruby-red eyes. "W-who are you?!"" Rollo asked.

"You can call me, Death," Y/n said as they pulled out their scythes.

Rollo panicked as he used his signature Spell. "“DARK FIRE!”

But this only amused Death as they began to hum "Hellfire to themselves" as they continued to approach the scared student. No matter how much fire Rollo sent Y/n's way. They remained unharmed.

The battle was one-sided as Y/n eventually knocked Rollo out. Forcing him down memory lane, but as Y/n stood over Rollo. They contemplate what to do with him, as they looked through his soul.

But, with a sigh, They decided to spare him as they tied him up and flopped him over their shoulder. However, they will make sure Rollo will be punished Properly.

[zrii-the-orc]

Ah fuck! This went... bad

We went back to the river to pick Mirdraut's gift for Pa up. That was one SHITTY mistake. That little fucking necklace burned him and made him feel all dizzy, but he said it made magic easier, so he will wear it. I am sooo against it. It burns him! Fucking burns him! Why did you do this, Mirdraut? Not even the fact that Pa gave gran's necklace to me helped. Look at that nasty thing:

It burned Pa!

But oh, it got worse. With his new burning magic helper, Pa was able to find Smakulkodar much faster. If I tell you it was a mess...

It was a FUCKING mess!

Smakulkodar hung over the bloodied, beaten body of her war brother, weeping. His guts were hanging in some tree at least three steps over. Her cheek had a massive cut and she was bleeding from under her armor, as if her side had been cut. She was clinging to her war brother so tightly, that we at first didn't even notice that one of her legs had been chopped of by the kneecap. Gologkokan's war brother had been fucking cut in half. His head was missing entirely, as if who ever had killed him, had beaten the body sevral times in mindless rage. The weapons Smakulkodar had braught with her lay scattered around her, forgotten by their screaming owner.

Smakulkodar's sword was covered in black, orcish blood. Her shield as well. There was no way that all of that blood was hers.

Dagam imediately wanted to rush to his big sister to help her, but pa held her back. It was magic, he said. The Necromancer, that hateful fuckface, placed a spell on Smakulkodar, Zanalthun, her war brother, and Ashtthu, Gologkokan's war brother, like he had put a spell on us.

Maybe, he said, Smakulkodar was still under that spell. Pa did a bit of magic, but nothing happened, so they all rushed over to Smakulkodar, while pa fell down. All that magic was a bit much for him, despite the burning necklace. I stayed with my pa. Dagam ripped Zanalthun's corpse out of Smakulkodars bloody hands and hugged her, while Aewlir tried to do something about her leg and Lurauga took her armor and dress off to bandage her side. Gologkokan just kept asking where Ashtthu's head was, while Smakulkodar screamed.

After what felt like ages, even Pa was sitting agian by that point, we got the full story out of the war lord's heir. She had thought she saw the necromancer running through the woods and had suddenly been convinced that the one still at the camp was only an illusion. She told Duru to stay where he was and she and the two others chased the fucker into the forest.

After some time she realized that she had lost Zanalthun and Ashtthu and when she looked around for them, she saw Sapthan with a drawn dagger and a heavily armed human creeping up on her. She attacked them. They attacked her. And then they attacked each other too. They fought. The human stabbed her in the side and in the next momet Sapthan cut him in half and beheaded him. Just as Smakulkodar wanted to thank him, Sapthan chopped her leg off, so she ripped his guts out and just chugged them some where.

Then it was like a dense fog lifted off her mind and she realized that Sapthan and the human were not there, only the other two orcs. And they were dead. The fucking necromancer made them kill each other.

But he made a mistake with this one. Smakulkodar is the war lord's first born and heir. Attacking her means war. And we know it was him, because Smakulkodar is still alive... at least for now. And Aewlir and Lurauga really look like they know what they are doing with their healing shit. As soon as we arrive home, an army will go after that fucking Sapthan guy! And no ammount of magic will save him then...

[agrazza]

ficlet (an au for "On Childhood")

A Bhaalspawn meets himself. It goes... about as poorly as could be expected.

(Sharing this here for anyone not in the discord. A 'what if' scenario for the epilogue of my fic "On Childhood")

He came to, flat on his back, his thoughts blurry and confused for a moment. What had happened? Last he remembered, he’d been gleefully snooping through sedately exploring Ramazith’s tower for anything useful— they’d found some good stuff in there before, even though it was extremely annoying to navigate— and he’d found an artifact that was hummed quite pleasantly to his magical senses as well as very shiny indeed.

Yeah, maybe he shouldn’t have grabbed it with his bare hands. But he’d had hopes of draping it against Astarion’s perfect skin and making him smile, so. Whatever.

He definitely wasn’t in the tower anymore. He blinked up at the familiar ceiling. Wood paneling, familiar chandelier. He was back at the Elfsong. But how had he—

“Oof!” There was a sudden weight on his torso as boney knees dug into his kidneys. He reacted on instinct, making to throw off his attacked, but a flash of metal stayed him; a knife.

A beat later, he realized his would-be killer was the tiniest murderer he’d ever seen, glaring down at him with bright blue eyes and a vicious scowl on his little face, his hair falling forward to brush Tav’s neck as he leaned over Tav’s body with a snarl. Hells, how had a kid gotten in here? Had Tav missed meeting one of Jaheira’s brats? Or was this one of Yenna’s friends? “Oi, you little shit,” he blurted, pulse still pounding with the suddenness of the attack. “Put that dagger away before you hurt someone,” he snapped, and reached to wrench the weapon away.

The boy fought him for it, and when that didn’t work, Tav’s greater strength preventing him from sinking the weapon into bard-flesh, he turned his head and bit down, hard, on Tav’s wrist. “Ouch! You little—”

“Tav, don’t!”

He and the gremlin both froze up, though it took Tav a moment to pry his wrist free of little teeth. A beat later, and Astarion’s perfect hands reached down and plucked the little terror off Tav’s chest. The boy went loose, not at all like the feral little thing he’d been only a moment earlier, but he was still hissing at Tav.

“Hush, you,” Astarion said, cupping the boy’s head and turning him away from Tav, and the kid tucked his head under Astarion’s chin like it belonged there.

“What the fuck is going on,” Tav said to the ceiling, because the sight of Astarion snuggling a toddler was too much to be believed. and then Wyll was there too, hauling him to his feet. “How the fuck did I get back here? And why the fuck did you bring another feral pipsqueak to our camp?” he demanded.

Did… Did Astarion just kiss that strange boy’s temple? Or had Tav hit his head too hard again?

“Oh, dear,” Gale said, as he approached, grimly looking between the brat and Tav. Tav glared at him.

“Not exactly what we expected, was it?” Wyll agreed. “Are you feeling alright, Tav?”

“I’m fine,” Tav said, and the kid nodded solemnly, still glaring at him. “No thanks to you,” he added, irritably, then gestured impatiently when no one jumped to explain the kid’s presence. “Well, where did it come from?”

“Don’t call him an ‘it’,” Astarion said sharply, and Tav startled, a little wounded. Astarion must have seen it, because he softened immediately, though he still kept some distance, which Tav was going to pretend didn’t bother him, at all. “My sweet, everything’s fine, but I’m afraid you’re involved in a little… magical mishap.”

“What magical mishap,” he bit out, but the boy’s eyes were suddenly looking disturbingly familiar. “You’re shitting me,” he said, jaw dropping, and the kid— himself?— gave him a very unimpressed look. “No godsdamned way. Fuck.”

“Fuck,” the boy repeated, in the exact same tone, and Wyll winced.

“Language,” the warlock sighed, as if not for the first time.

[melanie-ohara]

Gideon Souls - FINALE!

I was fed up and unrelatedly sad yesterday, but my guide and irrepressable, wonderful cheerleader @amethystasari was absent for reasons of Dragon Age Veilguard, so I pressed on alone. I tacked up a pretty picture of Crystal Farron, took a deep breath, and got to my grim work.

First of all I tracked down Dark Sun Gwyndolin, who is doing things with gender that have never before been seen in the realm of Lordran. I joined the covenant, and got very little from it. I feel like I've been missing out a lot not having multiplayer but also I don't want to deal with other humans

Then it was back to the DLC to clobber Kalameet after the trouble I had last time. It took a couple of goes, and I just didn't enjoy it very much. Fighting a great big dragon or a monster or something is a lot less rewarding, becuase when it kills me I think 'well of course it killed me, I am but a bug to them', and then when I finally get it I feel like it got unlucky.

Oo, the calamity ring, that sounds like a fitting reward for hunting a deadly enemy, I wonder what it does -

Oh I see. Oh very funny. Thanks so much.

I took a couple of runs at Manus and then decided he was still a bit too hard, so I left the Father of the Abyss for later and went back to the future to visit the Abyss in the present day. Apparently they flooded all of New Londo to contain it, so I was expecting a little more than dev-void.map. I knew already that the key to the four kings was to smack them hard and fast so you don't have to deal with more than one at a time, but I think probably I leaned into that a bit hard, because there was a good five seconds between each king appearing.

stupid wet cabbage looking motherfucker

Mostly I just let them hit me and then healed between kings, so I had no estus left by the time the last one showed up for an ass-kicking. I am back to one-shotting bosses, and it feels very good.

I was not accosted by another snake guy, which I thought happened here, but never mind. Seath the Scaleless time.

I really, really hate the Crystal Caves. Dark Souls and precision movement already don't mix, but making the platforms invisible is a real stupid, real irritating move. I died a bunch in here, and then - determined to never come back - one-shot Seath. The approach is harder than the boss. Just awful

Gee I wonder if I'm meant to do something with this crystal...

As soon as I determined that his big magic attack inflicted curse, I was not going to let him kill me because I was not fucking doing the purging stone run. The good news is, I didn't have to uninstall the game

Not pictured is the Demon Firesage, who I also one-shot. Apparently demons in this game are particularly easily put down by the light armour/heavy weapon build.

I wandered down to the next boss, and whose summon sign did I run into? My good friend Solaire! Obviously I brought him into the Centipede Demon fight.

This thing is just no fun to look at.

Solaire threw some completely useless firebolts at it and I hit it with my big sword, and it very helpfully died.

Thanks Centipede Demon, for dying when we hit you.

Right around the corner I fould Solaire again, only he seems very sad now. I guess his search for his 'sun' isn't going so well. Anyway, off we go to horrible Lost Izalith. This place sucks. Nothing but lava and dragon butts. The Bed of Chaos also sucks. After my exciting parade one shotting bosses for most of the afternoon, I fell down a hole and died.

Bad, bad boss.

Anyway, I went for an explore. Apparently I should have met Siegmeyer down here but he wasn't in the room with the horrible blender cthulus, so I went and found Solaire again. His new hat looked terrible, and he got mad when I told him that, soooo...

No more Solaire. Sad. Anyway!

There really is nothing else going on around here, so I went back to the Bed of Chaos. Basically I did it one section at a time, taking advantage of the one good design choice they made, until it was finally done.

Stupid little bug dickhead.

That just leaves Manus, and Gwyn.

Manus first. I hate the run back here, yet again, and I had to do it a bunch of times. In the end, I got fed up and put on the heaviest armour I could with the Favour and Protection and Havel rings while still fast rolling, and tanked my way through it. Havel's armour gave me so much poise I could heal through a couple of his lighter attacks, I don't know how I ever beat that guy.

Manus dead, Dusk saved. Sadly, this did not change the future, and Oolacile was still eaten. Oh dear.

With a very difficult boss defeated for very little reward, I went to tackle the final boss.

I'll admit, I was sort of thinking I might one-shot him at this point. Oh, my hubris. I was doing okay unless I had to heal, at which point he made it impossible to back up and find space. After getting fed up fighting the same five black knights every couple of minutes I gave up on beating him fairly, so I put on the Havel ring and armour and started tanking. With the sheer damage output of the black knight sword (which I now have six of), it was just a race to see who could hit 0hp first. I won, easily, which felt like cheating

Such a bad look. Hate it.

It's back to the Gideon black for the final cutscene, where Gideon sacrifices herself to restart the world, which feels in character.

Again, not an iron railing, but we take what we can get

So that was Dark Souls, starring Gideon Nav. The first half was great! the second half was mind numbing.

Next up is Dark Souls II, which I will be playing as Camilla Hect. I've seen what a strength build can achieve, let's see what I can do with dexterity

[nikofortuna]

JTTW Chapter 3 Thoughts

Third chapter for the @journeythroughjourneytothewest Reading Group!

What truly became clear to me this chapter, though was already foreshadowed in Chapter One with him stealing clothes from a man quite nonchalantly, Sun Wukong has sticky fingers! He clearly knows the concept of buying things, but if he can use his abilities instead he’ll do it.

My theory is that it is very much a monkey habit, instinctive or learned. Now being the Handsome Monkey King he likely never needed to fight much over anything, freely being given most things. However it has been shown twice now that monkeys generally do fight over things! First instance being when they moved into Shuilian Cave and fought over spaces and objects, the second being the weapons. So it would not be farfetched to say Sun Wukong internalized this behaviour as well in combination with the expectation of getting the things he wants.

Moving on to the underwater section of the chapter, the mental image of shrimp soldiers had me cackling. I really can’t take any of the seafolk serious. Though I’m sure at least a good few of them have more humanoid transformations and use them most of the time for practicality, how else would in particular the fishes carry weapons after all, all I imagine are the actual sea creatures wearing little outfits.

Now they are underwater, correct? So given the water has a higher density than air, all the weapons the seafolk carry should be even more difficult to lift on land. And since Sun Wukong is technically not in the water but in what I imagine to be an air bubble of sorts, he is lifting those weapons with their full land weight!

After getting Ruyi Jingu Bang when asking for some armour to go with it, he does get a bit unruly. Still he didn’t really ask for the best of the best, the finest armour of them all or something like that. He just wanted a set of armour that is regular quality, at least for a Dragon King, and looks the part. No need for any special magic or anything, just something fashionable. He’s already powerful, he just wants to be a fashion icon as well! He’s called the Handsome Monkey King for a reason, no? King of Fashion he shall be!

All in all he is becoming a bit of a troublemaker sure, but to be fair nobody tried just sitting him down and explaining in earnest that what he’s doing isn’t just harmless fun scaring the people a little, but genuinely upsets them. Not even in the ‘oh you’ve offended the higher ups’ kind of way, but just the regular people. He’s not a mean or malicious being, so long as it was explained in an honest and calm fashion I’m certain he’d understand. Even if he might not openly admit to his actions being out of line, he’d probably dial it down at least a little bit for the little guys.

Moving on to a little trivial on Jingu Bang, that he puts it into his ear actually has symbolic meaning as well! The German translation explains in a footnote that the Rod is metaphoric for the Yáng line in the Trigram Kăn, which is related to Water and the Kidney. It fits into the ear, because the ear is connected to the kidney in traditional Chinese medicine. So basically Sun Wukong can take out his life energy and put it away again at his leisure.

Anyway Sun Wukong making friends while travelling! We love to see it.

Another thing that shows he’s a nice person is him giving Yama the benefit of the doubt at first. He only gets angry when he isn’t treated well.

When he is treated nicely, as seen at the end of the chapter with the Gold Star, he is really kind in return.

Also love that Sun Wukong doesn’t let the Kings put the blame on the summoners, though he did turn those two into mush. He correctly looks for the error at the source aka the higher ups and the official documents. Very wise indeed.

Ox-head and Horse-face, yes singular there is actually only one of each in the Underworld, I recognized quite easily, this time thanks to an anime that featured them. Hōzuki no Reitetsu, if anyone else knows that one.

Lastly for today, I have a favourite new word that I learned from the Anthony C. Yu translation! Stratagem. A combination of the terms strategy and gem, which describes its meaning perfectly!

[wellthebardsdead]

The loved & the forgotten pt7

Part 6 here

———

Vivienne: *standing on the deck of the northern maiden as the ship sails to solstheim, still not completely himself but has a little more pep in his step after a few days at sea, now attempting to practice with his spear and see how much control he has over it*

Kaidan: *flicking through books with Lucien, watching as the spear flies past them then flies back to Vivienne’s hands* find anything on recall weapon spells yet?

Lucien: nope, you find anything on mummified dick spears?

Kaidan: no just something called a muatra but all the text on its owners been scribbled out and half the pages are missing.

Lucien: da- VIVI!!!

Vivienne: *didn’t realise how far back he was to the railing and jumps to catch his spear as it recalls to him… only to go right over the edge* FUC-

Kaidan: MY LOVE NO!! *grabs a length of rope and moves to run to the railing only for vivienne to float up and land on the deck, the spear following behind him*

Vivienne: all good- I’m okay- there was a HUGE fish down there I’m gonna try and catch it-

Kaidan: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO FLOAT?!

Vivienne: I?… always? It… takes a lot of magic to do and if I do it too long it leaves me very tired but- *shrugs* I’ve always been able to do it.

Lucien: … *puts down his book and picks up the lessons of Vivec again instantly flipping through pages before stopping on one stating he floats, followed by another page mentioning muatra* …

Kaidan: Luci-

Lucien: YOUR SPEAR IS MOLAG BALS PENIS?!

The entire ship: *stops and looks at him*

Vivienne: yeah- I figured that when he used the one still attached to his body on me… or rather- in me… *shudders*

Kaidan: I- wait- excuse me hold on IT GREW BACK?!

Vivienne: *shrugs* I guess?…

Kaidan: I?! How did your past self even get a hold of I-

Lucien: HE BIT IT OFF!

Kaidan: HE FOCKING WHOT!?

Vivienne: *looks at the spear and compares its length to his body trying to figure out how he’d go about chomping it off* …Neat.

Lucien: He stabbed Azura in the mouth with it and she exploded?! What does that mean?!

Vivienne: Well Muatra translates to milk finger meaning- *cough* penis. And-… oh gods no wonder she hates me my past self was a monster… *drops to the ground in shock*

Lucien: it says you also used it on-

Vivienne: I don’t- want to know okay… I just-… *rubs his face* I’m not ready to know…

Lucien: It’s not sexual I don’t think I…

Kaidan: what is it?…

Lucien: …He… murdered indoril nerevar with it.

Vivienne: *gets up and suddenly throws the spear into the sea screaming in frustration and pulling at his hair*

Kaidan: *hurries over and gently pulls him in close* Vivi, you’re not responsible for your past selfs actions. It’s okay-

Vivienne: *sniffles and looks up at him feeling so frustrated and angry* wh-why do I have to be punished for it though- wh-why did he have to be selfish and m-make me? W-why couldn’t he just d-die? H-he didn’t deserve to reincarnate if h-he was such a terrible p-person I-

Kaidan: *gently takes his hands making him let go of his hair* shhh. Don’t talk like that love… if he’d of never of done that, I’d of never of met you, or Taliesin, or our friends. *gently circles his thumbs over his hands before pulling them both together and planting a soft kiss on them* don’t cry darling… I’m glad y- *gets knocked out cold as muatra suddenly flies back out of the water and slaps him up the side of the head*

Vivienne: KAIDAN!

Taliesin: *staggers out from below deck and immediately vomits over the side of the railing from sea sickness*

Vivienne: TALIESIN!

*a the next day as the ship sails into solstheim*

Vivienne: *sighs wrapping his hands with cloth and covering his face with his scarf before putting on the dragon priest mask* no skin showing?

Taliesin: no skin.

Vivienne: *nods and puts muatra on his back, concealing it with another cloth* okay, I’m ready.

Kaidan: *pulling his sword over his shoulder* you have the ring too, you ever feel scared, remember our signal so we can find you.

Vivienne: whistle.

Kaidan: *nods* smart lyrebird. Alright, let’s get moving and find this miraak focker.

Vivienne: *smiles and laughs softly walking behind him as he leads them out, only to immediately tense up seeing raven rock before them and remembering morrowind* … *reaches up and grips onto taliesins arm* …

Taliesin: shhh I’m here… *gently tucks him under his arm as they approach the docks*

Adril Arano: I don't recognise any of you, so I'll assume this is your first visit to Raven Rock, outlanders. State your intentions.

Taliesin: I suppose our motley crew does stick out like a sore thumb however I assure you we mean no trouble to your-… *looks at the sad state of raven rock* settlement. *clears his throat and pulls out the cultists orders from his pocket* But perhaps you may be able to help us. Some cultists worshipping a man by the name of ‘miraak’ travelled from here and attempted to kill my companion. *gestures to vivienne*

Vivienne: *sheepishly hides behind Taliesin not wanting to be perceived by anybody in any state of power or connections to morrowind*

Adril Arano: *takes the note and reads it curiously* I… Im afraid I don’t know anyone by the name miraak however-… it does… sound familiar…

*that evening*

Vivienne: *seated in his room in the wretching netch after losing their first day on the island to saving the captain of the guard and killing an undead imperial general, now quietly eating alone unable to risk letting his face be seen in public* … *blinks and looks down spotting a spider shuffling to his plate* … *takes a small chunk of meat and places it down for it as an offering, now perceiving any spider as an agent of mephala*

The spider: *inspects the morsel before picking it up and eating*

Vivienne: *sighs* well at least I have some company… *sighs hearing Kaidans laugh from out in the main tavern, wanting to join his friends in socialising but can’t* …hm? *blinks and looks back at the spider feeling it on his hand*

The spider: *shuffles down off his hand and suddenly jumps from the table before scuttling off out of under the door and out of the room*

Vivienne: … *pulls his mask back on and picks up muatra making sure it’s still covered as he steps into the tavern to see inigo trying to out drink Kaidan and their newest friend Teldryn Sero* What happened to leaving town early tomorrow? You lot are going to be wankered come morning.

Kaidan: Are you suggesting I can’t- *hiccups* hold my alcohol??

Vivienne: you’re drinking sujamma. A bottle of that can take down a bull netch. How many have you had.

Taliesin: he’s had 5.

Kaidan: I have had 7 thank you very much! *points at where he thinks his face is*

Taliesin: *turns his hand to point at his actual face* I’m over here you adorable drunk.

Vivienne: *snickers* keep a bucket handy, he’s going to need it.

Taliesin: Vivi. Where are you going?…

Vivienne: Outside… I promise I won’t leave the bulwark I… just want to inspect that stone at the edge of again and see if more people have gathered. The guards patrol out there, I’ll be okay.

Taliesin: okay- Lucien can you watch these idio-

Lucien: *black out drunk in the corner after a sip of matze*

Taliesin: I-

Vivienne: I promise, I’ll be back in an hour…

Taliesin: *nervous about him going out on his own after the last couple times* okay… but a minute later and I’m coming to find y-

Sero: And that’s nine for me and somebody get a bucket quickly for the big guy!

Vivienne: *sighs watching the table fall into panic as Kaidan turns green* looks like we’re leaving by lunchtime tomorrow… *turns and walks out before stopping as he sees the spider sitting just outside the door* okay… where do you want to take me friend…

The spider: *suddenly scuttles off right out of the bulwark*

Vivienne: I- oh… *looks back at the tavern feeling guilty for lying to Taliesin* … *holds his breath and runs after the bug into the darkness beyond the bulwark, only able to see where it’s leading him by the odd red glow coming from the markings on its abdomen* s-slow down where are we going?? *follows it back to the Old Attius Farm where they’d saved captain Veleth earlier this day* the? Farm?… did I miss something important about the heart stones here or-

The spider: *scuttles into the ruin and into the keyhole of a hidden cellar*

Vivienne: *blinks looking at it* oh- *freezes hearing voices beneath it* … *pulls muatra from his back and unwraps it before turning invisible with the ring of khajiiti & entering the cellar to find two people, a redoran guard, and a wealthy nobleman*

Guard: *removes a box from his bag handing it to the nobleman* For twenty years all I've been is a loyal guard. I do what I'm supposed to, pay my taxes, and pray to the Gods. But they return me no favors, that’s why I’m selling you this, why do you need to know more than that?

Nobleman: Because it’s my understanding this mask is to be delivered to the temple, and as a guard loyal to-

Guard: I'll just tell the priests the bloody mask got swallowed by a guar, so good luck finding it now. For twenty years I’ve never told a lie, they’ll believe me.

Nobleman: very well if you say so- *opens the box revealing the mask inside* Ah splendid! This will go beautifully in with my collection.

Vivienne: *vision blurring slightly as he stares at the mask, recognising the face it bares and feeling a strange mix of grief and anger wash over him like he’d never felt before… not even realising he’d raised muatra to attack before his vision clears and he sees the guard and nobleman now laying dead, his spear impaled through them… and the mask in his hands* … *turns and climbs out of the cellar before returning back to raven rock and walking the steps to the temple* … *looks at the mask one more time* I… don’t want to be you… anymore… *places the mask in the offering box and leaves walking back to wretching netch to join his friends, completely oblivious to the priest lurking in the shadows witnessing his ‘generous’ donation…*

[infectedhau]

So there's a new Dragon Age coming out, and as someone who's owned the first three for literal decades at this point without ever touching them, I figured I'd get caught up

My broad thoughts: this is the first time I've seen a franchise go through puberty (disclaimer, I don't actually know anything about the development history of Dragon Age, these are all just my impressions from my mostly blind playthrough. I didn't look up anything story wise, but I did do a little research into builds just to make sure the combat got a fair shake)

Starting Origins, you can clearly see that it wants to be an ARPG, but was realized by a bunch of guys that had only done CRPGs up to that point. You've got these flashy cinematic finishers, a camera that can technically be zoomed out to a more traditional top-down view but prefers to sit over your shoulder, and a tactics menu that basically means you don't have to micro your party at all if you don't want to (maybe you do on higher difficulties, idk, I went through on normal because the thing kept crashing and didn't wanna have to deal with constantly redoing fights). I can feel the Baldur's Gate energy in it, but I can also feel some guy saying "and we want it to be more dramatic and dynamic" while a copy of Dragon's Dogma floats over his shoulder like a stand. Lore-wise, it's a darker, lower-magic setting, which I honestly think works pretty well for it looking the way it does. You've got your occasional crazy armor or fantasy-ass sword, but everything else was pretty grounded, and I definitely got the feeling that I wasn't all that stronger than the enemies, despite being a diet witcher. That being said, it's an older game, so it's pretty easy to break. I played a Blood Mage/Arcane Knight build, and basically every single encounter was solved by stunlocking the entire room to death, which somewhat ruined the immersion of these guys being an actual problem. Maybe if the Templars weren't such dicks about it this would've all been solved sooner.

On to Dragon Age 2, and boy oh boy can you tell this game was made in the early 10s. Everything has gotten spkier and edgier, you've got more impractical armor and weapons, the opening shot is your sister's tits bouncing around as you run through a battlefield, and the game tries to start you as an unremarkable white guy with a goatee and a shitty haircut (I shut that shit down real fast, though I didn't really customize lady Hawke either since from what I understand the customization doesn't carry over). You also see it crawling a bit further towards ARPG territory, now even your auto attacks are flashy and stylish, especially if you're a Rogue, but the bones are still basically the same. You still attack on a timer, you can still click to move, and there's still a pause button. The AI has also improved, I don't think I even looked at the tactics menu and I still got through with minimal difficulty. Also, they retconned a wholeass race, with the Qunari graduating from "humans but bigger" to these cool gray horned dudes. Definitely an improvement, no I am not at all biased, don't look at my Qunari inquisitor lady and my Dranei Death Knight lady and my Au'ra Mahcinist Lady this ain't about her. Also turning the duelist trainer from Origins into a slutty pirate lady was... a choice, but honestly I liked her character, and her, Aveline, and Merrill were my core party members through most of it (still though, put some pants on girl, cmon). This is also where my first actual complaint comes in, that being that they seemed to think the best way to add difficulty was to just swarm you with guys. I don't mind big fights, but having to chew through two or three waves of enemies with every single combat encounter got a bit old by the end.

And now, Inquisition, where we're almost there, it's so close I can taste it. You finally click to attack, you have a jump button, the tactics menu is basically gone, but it's still clinging to its CRPG roots, the pause button haunting your hotbar like a ghost of real-time-with-pause past. I haven't noticed any dramatic changes lore-wise like I did with 2, but they did manage to find some (slightly) more reasonable armor designs and thus far none of my party members are running around half-naked. An overall improvement, and while I'm not done with this one yet I've been enjoying it so far. From what I hear, the new one is finally a proper ARPG, and all I can say is holy hell it took them long enough

[the-savage-garden]

Nitpicking ACOWAR Ch 10 +11

I meant to post this awhile ago but I recently returned to the One Piece train that I forgot about this whole thing, oops. I finally figured out how to do the 'keep reading' thing though!

Chapter 10

-Somehow Brannagh is cradling Ianthe now?

-”I let my mask drop.” I hate the mask theme, just the way it’s thrown around bothers me.

-”...noting the flanking positions they were too casually establishing around me.” Now I’m confused about where Brannagh is supposed to be.

-[“What could be more important than assisting us? You are, after all, sworn to assist our king.” Time—biding their time until Tamlin returned from hunting with Jurian.] I hate how the book decided that Tamlin is with Hybern, it’s not built up to him being on their side at all. It’s written like it’s an assured thing now.

-Lucien notices things. What’s the point of this?

-“I am a free person, allowed to go where and when I will it.” “Are you?” Brannagh is asking a question I want to know. Like, is Feyre really free to do what she wants in this book series? Everyone tells her what to do all the time, even Rhys. The only thing Feyre has actually chosen is to go back to Spring and have her revenge on Tamlin (even though Tamlin legitimately thought she was in danger and it’s not been brought up even once).

-“Such careful plotting these weeks, such skilled maneuvering. You didn’t seem to worry that we’d be doing the same.” I was honestly really confused why Feyre was just ignoring the twins so much, her priorities made no sense to me.

-”They weren’t letting Lucien leave this clearing alive. Or at least with his mind intact.” Why do they care about Lucien? He hasn’t been against them, for all they know only Feyre sent the Bogge after them.

-”...understanding that there was no way they’d reveal this without knowing they’d get away with it.“ But everyone knows that Hybern is evil, how would anyone be surprised by this? Even Tamlin thinks they’re the bad guys! Do the twins not know? There has been no indication that anyone from Hybern is good.

-[“Take the Spring Court,” I said, and meant it. “It’s going to fall one way or another.” Lucien snarled. I ignored him.] Even Lucien here still cares for Spring.

-[“Oh, we intend to,” Brannagh said…] It was very clear that Hybern was going to take down Spring, I don’t know why the book doesn’t let Tamlin see it.

-”I thumbed free two of the Illyrian fighting knives.” Is this the only reason Feyre stole the weapons from Tamlin, to use them in this fight? Ugh.

-“Haven’t you wondered at the headaches? How things seem a little muffled on certain mental bonds?” This is the explanation? I thought it was because Feyre is still new to her powers, this is disappointing.

-”Crushed faebane stone, ground so fine you couldn’t see or scent or taste it in your food.” Can you even smell or taste faebane?

-“We’ve been daemati for a thousand years, girl,” Dagdan sneered. “But we didn’t even need to slip into her mind to get her to do our bidding. But you … what a valiant effort you put up, trying to shield them all from us.” The book makes this too convenient, Feyre knew they were daemati but was naive enough to believe they wouldn’t do anything against her? I know she’s young but seriously?

-”Dagdan’s mind speared for Lucien’s, a dark arrow shot between them.” Weird way to describe their magic, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to imagine with mind powers.

-“What apple,” I bit out. “The one you shoved down your throat an hour ago,” Brannagh said. “Grown and tended in the king’s personal garden, fed a steady diet of water laced with faebane. Enough to knock out your powers for a few days straight, no shackles required. And here you are, thinking no one had noticed you planned to vanish today.” She clicked her tongue again. “Our uncle would be most displeased if we allowed that to happen.” What did I just read? I hate how easy things are. Also, wait, an apple tree was given faebane and it somehow makes the apples have it too?

-”...but then I’d abandon Lucien to them if he somehow couldn’t manage to himself with the faebane in his system from the food at the camp—” What kind of leap in logic is this? All the food at camp was laced with faebane too? So wouldn’t Tamlin be under the effects of it too?

-”Leave him. I should and could leave him. “ Was this why their supposed friendship was brought up so much? To add drama to this moment?

“I made my choice.” ACOMAF made me hate the whole “my choice” thing and being reminded of it is giving me trauma.

-”And even a thousand years wasn’t enough for Dagdan to adequately prepare as I winnowed in front of him and struck.” Feyre went from being out of her depth to competent real fast.

-”I sliced through the front of his leather armor, not deep enough to kill, and as steel snagged on its plates…” Is it leather armor or not? Because plates refer to metal armor I’m pretty sure.

-”...months of Cassian’s brutal training clicked into place as I kept my feet under me.” This makes it obvious how inexperienced Feyre is but somehow she’s able to go toe-to-toe with a Hybern prince and commander? She also has faebane in her system, she should be struggling more in this fight.

-”I had the vague sense of Lucien gaping, even Brannagh taken aback by my show of skill against her brother.” I’m losing my mind.

-”Buying time. Wearing me down until my body fully absorbed that apple and its power rendered me nearly mortal.” Earlier when Feyre shielded Lucien she struggled but now the book is saying that she hasn’t fully absorbed the faebane? But they’ve been giving her faebane since their stay? Make up your mind.

-”Brannagh screamed as a wall of flame slammed into her.” Apparently Feyre did this and not Lucien?

-”Her focus wholly on me, on taking from me the beauty I’d burned from her…” Why is everything so focused on losing beauty? Someone’s vain…

-”Until Lucien’s sword refracted the light of the sun leaking through the canopy.” It’s day? This whole thing is happening in broad daylight? How has no one noticed this?

-”A tremor shuddered through the clearing—like some thread between the twins had been snipped as Brannagh’s dark head thudded onto the grass.” Wait, is this supposed to imply that the twins are soulmates? What the hell? I thought soulmates in this world are supposed to be making powerful offspring but if they’re related doesn’t that defeat the purpose?

-”I let him fall atop his sister, the thud of flesh on flesh the only sound.” Ew, why’d you put focus on that?

-”I merely looked at Ianthe, my power guttering, a hideous ache building in my gut, and made my last command, amending my earlier ones.” I forgot Ianthe was still here. Also faebane seems kind of useless since Feyre can still do this.

-“You tell them I killed them. In self-defense. After they hurt me so badly while you and Tamlin did nothing. Even when they torture you for the truth, you say that I fled after I killed them—to save this court from their horrors.” I want to keep this in mind for the future.

-Lucien says he wants to go with Feyre to the Night Court. But, like, the only reason he does is obviously because of Elain and not for any other reason.

-”I just gritted my teeth against the sharp pain in my abdomen…” Faebane apparently makes the abdomen hurt if it’s consumed.

-”Blood coated the inside of my mouth by the time we reached the foothills hours later. I was panting, my head throbbing, my stomach a twisting knot of aching.” The other effects of consuming faebane.

-“It’s—gone,” he said, gasping for breath. “My magic—not an ember. They must have dosed all of us today.” I’m still a little lost with what faebane does.

-”My power pulled away from me like a wave reeling back from the shore. Only there was no return. It just went farther and farther out into a sea of nothing.” Both Feyre and Lucien describe losing their magic differently.

-”I peered at the sun, now a hand’s width above the horizon…” I take it that it’s noon now then? Why mention hours but don’t say noon?

-”The caves—doors, they called them—in those hollows led to other pockets of Prythian. I’d taken one straight Under the Mountain… No door to the Night Court existed…” I guess this is to explain why that one led to UTM, I guess they’re magic “doors” to places?

-”And I would not risk my friends by bringing them here to retrieve me.” Even though you’ve killed the twins already? This is just an excuse to have Feyre and Lucien by themselves isn’t it?

-”A numbness had spread through me.” Is it the faebane or not feeling the mate bond? It’s not clear.

-“The Autumn Court portal is that way.” Now we’re calling them portals instead of doors?

-“I can’t go into Summer. They’ll kill me on sight.” I’d love to see the consequences of what Feyre did to Summer. Like, she only decided to steal from them because Rhys kept guiding her to make that choice instead of making friends with Summer.

-”We sealed off all the other entrances.” Why seal all the entrances up? And whose “we” in all this? I think it’s all the entrances to UTM but I thought there was only one?

-”A faint buzzing and ringing filled my ears. And I felt my magic vanish entirely.” Another symptom of faebane?

-”To the lands of the family who’d betrayed him as badly as this court had betrayed mine.” A single person (Ianthe) was the only one that betrayed you Feyre, everyone else didn’t do anything. Tamlin’s character was inconsistent and still is.

-”I gave him another nod. I’d slid into their minds before we’d left, making sure this door would be left open.” Feyre’s lucky that Hybern didn’t find this the perfect opportunity to use this against you. Where even is the King in all this?

-”...whether it was better to claim the Spring Court for ourselves, or to let it fall to our enemies.” What the hell? Feyre, you can’t just claim Spring like that, that’s not how it works.

-”But it could not remain neutral—a barrier between our forces in the North and the humans in the South. It would have been easy to call in Rhys and Cassian, to have the latter bring in an Illyrian legion to claim the territory when it was weakest after my own maneuverings. Depending on how much mobility Cassian had retained—if he was still healing.” Now it’s just getting worse. Feyre is completely ignoring the whole High Lord thing. Also why hasn’t this happened in the past if Feyre finds it so “easy”?

-”Yet then we’d hold one territory—with five other courts between us. Sympathy might have swayed for the Spring Court; others might have joined Hybern against us, considering our conquest here proof of our wickedness. But if Spring fell to Hybern … We could rally the other courts to us. Charge as one from the North, drawing Hybern in close.” This whole thing, what the hell?

-[“You were right,” Lucien declared at last. “That girl I knew did die Under the Mountain.” I wasn’t sure if it was an insult. But I nodded all the same. “At least we can agree on that.” I stepped into the awaiting cold and dark.] I blame Rhys.

-”And in the distance, so faint I thought I might have imagined it, a beast’s roar cleaved the land.” I’m still confused by Tamlin.

Chapter 11

-Feyre describes the Autumn Court.

-Autumn didn’t post sentries at the “door” and Feyre can’t use her magic to search for Fae.

-”...the risk of revealing our scheming to find me.” So it’s “our scheme” now? Was Feyre actually doing things on her own or not?

-”But my magic was still and frozen. A crutch I’d become too reliant upon.” Since when has Feyre been that reliant on magic? She only recently started using it. Like, if this was the thought process of someone that used magic for years I wouldn’t think much of this but it’s not, it’s for someone that’s quite green. Not to say that Feyre can’t hold her own, I just expect her to be more inexperienced in the story.

-Mentions of time passing to night, I think.

-”...I knew only our need for stealth kept his simmering questions at bay.” Why do they need to sneak through a forest? Other than mentioning no sentries, what’s the point of this?

-They go into another cave, with a makeshift camp there already.

-”...three bedrolls and old blankets…” Why three?

-Lucien mentions he used to stay in this cave before he left Autumn.

-Lucien and Feyre talk.

-”...My friend at the Dawn Court has the same power—her light is identical…” I thought it was the Dawn High Lord’s power (who’s male)?

-“I didn’t tell him for two reasons. One, it felt like kicking a male already down. I couldn’t take that hope away from him.” I rolled my eyes. “Two,” he snapped, “I knew if I was correct and called you on it, you’d find a way to make sure I never saw her.” So… Lucien still cares about Tamlin? Also, the soulmate thing gets brought up again, that seems to be his only motivation now.

-“And that’s why you’re here. Not because it’s right and he’s always been wrong, but just so you can get what you think you’re owed.” Feyre gets mad at Lucien for not being angry at Tamlin. I also hate this whole bullshit about ownership being thrown around in this story, it became a thing in the 2nd book too.

-Lucien still thinks the Night Court are enemies.

-Feyre gets mad at Lucien for not believing her that Elain is safe, which yeah, they’re sisters, shouldn’t he understand that?

-Lucien questions if Feyre wanted to spare him from her path of destruction because of what it would do to Elain. They sure are friends, huh?

-Lucien continues to question Feyre, asks her if she wanted to kill Tamlin, yada yada.

-Feyre gets tired of debating with Lucien over her choices and tells him to drop it. It makes me wonder if this is to say Feyre regrets her actions now, or SJM doesn’t feel like going deeper into Feyre’s feelings on this whole thing.

-[“My father will hunt you for taking his power if he finds out,” he said into the frigid dark. “And kill you for learning how to wield it.” “He can get in line,” was all I said.] Giving me deja vu again.

-The next morning Feyre and Lucien argue on where to go next. Feyre wants to go north right through where, I guess the direction of Autumn's capital is, but Lucien wants to go either east where the Summer border is or west but Feyre thinks that route will take too long for some reason. Feyre for some reason thinks she can go through Autumn unseen, this is a dumb plan, west should’ve been the better option.

-Feyre dumps her food out because she thinks it’s laced with faebane.

-Feyre gawks at Autumn and admires Lucien, they go fishing. I still don’t know why they’re still being sneaky in the middle of nowhere though.

-They hiked for 5 days, somehow during the 3rd day they went through the Autumn’s capital without any incident.

-Apparently Autumn’s place is called the Forest House. I guess this is the reason why we're here, so SJM can explain the “worldbuilding” of Autumn. Anyway, the House is large and covered in moss.

-Somehow with all this time that’s passed they’re still affected by the faebane. I guess faebane can also affect mate bonds too.

-”...an apple tree, laden with fat, succulent fruit.” I know fat can be used as a synonym for large but this is a weird way to use it.

-”...the bees gorging themselves on fallen apples.” Bees don’t eat like that?

-”After what the Hybern royals had done, I should have sworn off apples forever, but hunger had always blurred lines for me. “ This doesn’t come up much with Feyre’s character but I like the idea of Feyre forgetting herself when she’s hungry.

-“We’ll have to stay out of sight. My father doesn’t pay well for his crops, and the land-workers will earn any extra coin they can.” Beron’s an idiot then, unless he’s getting other food from trade, he should only be reliant on food from local farmers. I’m not an expert on this though.

-”I was able to study for longer than my father allowed my brothers before shoving them out the door to rule over some territory within our lands…” Keeping note of this.

-“I’d say that sounds more High-Lord-like than the life of an idle, unwanted son.” I don’t even know what the High Lords do for this to make sense.

-“Would you want it—your father’s crown?” I thought magic chooses the High Lord, how would someone even be able to get it any other way?

-”...I’d gain a crown—only to rule over a crafty, two-faced people.” This contradicts what was stated earlier, of Lucien learning about his people, at least that’s what I think.

-“But you never answered my question—about why the people here would sell you out.”  Why is there no question mark in this?

-So, the people blame Lucien for not protecting Jesminda from being killed by his family, and when Lucien fled to their houses they gave him back up to his family. What?

-”...right into the steep foothills that leaped into gray, snowcapped mountains that marked the start of the shared range with the Winter Court.” Shouldn’t that be leapt? Or am I crazy for that?

-”If we could get over the border in a day or two…” They hiked through Autumn for like 5 days, how would they be able to go through Winter that fast?

-“How are you not winded,” he panted, hauling himself onto the flat top… “I trained.” Missing question mark. Also I know Feyre trained and all but she shouldn’t have that good of stamina already.

-”My nails barked…” This is the weirdest writing quirk SJM has.

-Lucien added, “You had my back —with them, with Ianthe. Thank you.” Feyre almost cries from this and I find that funny since she was going to leave him behind.

-Feyre manages to fall asleep this time, she goes into Lucien’s mind while she’s sleeping.

-”I had never known how young, how human I looked when I slept. My braid was a rope over my shoulder, my mouth slightly parted, my face haggard with days of little rest and food.” Why this? What’s the point?

-Lucien and Feyre get ambushed by Lucien’s brothers.

[blissfulalchemist]

WIP Wednesday

Listen I know but I know more people will probably read this tomorrow so sue me. Anyway! Tagged a while ago by @adelaidedrubman to share work and I am in turn tagging you back along with @belorage @florbelles @unholymilf @strafethesesinners @heroofpenamstan @statichvm @jackiesarch @shellibisshe @confidentandgood @themarcspector @indorilnerevarine and anyone else that has something to share! Use me as an excuse!

I only offer more ffxiv but this time is Girls Worst Road Trip 2! Spoilers for endwalker. But yeah have fun I gave you a bit.

“Might we not ask Fordola to join you?” Alphinaud suggests, “She’s a good fighter and knows how to patch up wounds since you’ll be without our healing magics.” Alphinaud sighs, crossing his arms, “Would that we could have one more go with you to assist in your defense, but we’ve exhausted the small pool we have.”

“Not entirely, there’s still one more out there.” The Scions jump, turning to look at Stasia who wasn’t there a second ago.

“Gods are you sure Emet-Selch wasn’t your father,” Thancred grumbles, “you two share a lot of traits.”

She rolls her eyes waving off the comment, “As I was saying there is one more person out there that has the same abilities as Fordola.”

Alphinaud furrows his brow, “If you’re referring to Zen-.”

“No. He’s dead. We’ve established this. But did you think he would only let Fordola and himself be the only people with such a gift?”

Siberite shakes her head, “Nope. No. Stasia, no.”

“Truly you can’t be serious. The woman hates us,” Thancred adds, “Siberite especially.”

“Carly’s calmed down since you’ve last seen her, hasn’t she Alisaie and Alphinaud?”

“Are you saying Carly is also a Resonant?”

“Can we just put that notion aside and remember that she would rather see me dead!” Siberite protests, “We won’t be able to trust her in there. Why can’t you come with us Stasia? I doubt it would have any effect on you given your heritage.”

“One, that’s an unknown thing as I was never brought around primals to know. Two, with the twins gone it means there’s more work to be done and overseen in Garlemald.”

“Work that you wouldn’t trust to anyone else,” Zero says with a tilt of her head, “It’s why he appreciated and respected you so much.”

Her eyes narrow at the comment, “You’re going to need Carly. She’s competent in many different weapons and forms with a specialty in the arts of a Dark Knight.”

“Would she even agree to it?”

“You leave that to me, along with your safety. So do we have a plan?”

“As much as none of us want to trust her,” Y’shtola says, “we have little choice in the matter. Besides, Fordola and Zero will be with you if she decides to try anything.”

----------------------------------------------

It’s tight as they all sit six feet apart, fire between them giving life to the small bit of good rations they’ve brought along. Noisy as Carly stabs away at the plate making Siberite shift in ways Fordola and Zero had only ever seen on the battlefield. Back and forth the sounds go, Fordola looking between them with narrowed eyes. “Oh for love of-. Will you two stop it already!” The two women look up, the metal scraping along Carly’s teeth as she sets it down, “How are we to get anything done if you two can’t even sit here without it turning into a fight?”

“I certainly don’t see any weapons drawn,” Carly says, rolling her eyes, “and no words had been uttered.”

“Oh shut up! You know exactly what I mean and what you’re doing.” Carly lets out a low growl, “Why are you two even like this? Beyond the obvious events in Ala Mhigo.”

“She rightly believes me to be the cause of Zenos’ death,” Siberite answers, “You know how he was Fordola, he wanted it to be a fight to the death.”

“You could have brought him back to be buried with respect,” Carly hisses, shoulders raising, “but you couldn’t even be bothered to do that!”

“Carly, you had plans to bring him back from the dead, again.”

“And? Did you not do the same with your friends out there at the edge of the universe?”

“I-. Hey now, that was different. They-.”

“Sacrificed themselves to save you and the star blah blah. Sacrifice in that situation means dying. There was no guarantee that your plan would work. That they would live again.”

“You're right I didn’t know if it would work and I have told you before that if I could have I would have brought him back.”

“You hated him! You saw him as nothing more than a single minded monster, when that was far from the case. You all did!”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to hate friends?” They all turn to look at Zero, still picking at the roll on her plate, “You two were friends, I thought.”

“It’s….a little more complicated. I don’t think he knew just how to be friends with people. He certainly had a different way of viewing the world but my hatred started to wane ever so slightly.”

Carly crosses her arms, “Sure that makes things all better between us.”

Zero looks up at her with a small tilt of her head, “Why did he never call you friend?” 

Her eyes narrow and look to the ground, “Who are you to be asking such things anyway?” She waves the question off, “Not that it matters. Honestly I can’t wait to finish here and never see the likes of any of you again.” 

“We all share the same sentiment, Carly,” Fordola says, “So you two have to get along for the time being.”

She purses her lips, “I never got a chance to ask you when you ended my bonding time with Boy Toy,” Siberite readies to speak giving a small shake of her head thinking better of it, “Did he have any final words to say?”

[hugsandchaos]

[I made this up with the Double Trouble art style in mind, so just remember that, please. I just wanted to see fanfics of that comic, so I decided to start that flame.]

It’s been about an hour since the sun had went down, and the lovely stars and distant galaxies shown bright in the dark sky. While Thor wanted to watch them, he had to clean up the market place with Loki, his little brother. It saddened him a bit that he probably wouldn’t be able to stargaze tonight since it’s probably take all night to clean it up. He heard Loki yawn a few times, but both of them kept going. They barley got any done, despite working for hours. It was quiet, which Thor appreciated, but it was also a bit odd to have a quiet moment around Loki. Until now, that is.”You sure you don’t wanna take a quick break? I think there’s a few comets.” Loki piped up, filling the silence with a less mischievous or sarcastic tone than usual.

Thor put the heavy piece of what used to be a wall into a boar bladder and turned around. Loki was pointing upwards and Thor followed his gaze, where three comets flew across the sky like glowing birds. After they disappeared, Thor spoke.”As much as I’d like that, we still have a job to do.” T said. Loki rolled his eyes and Thor could swear there was a small, dim glow in Loki’s eyes that disappeared after the comets did. That might’ve just been the glow of the comets, though.”Oh, come on! What’s a few minutes against hours?” Loki reasoned. Thor looked at the progress they made. Yes, it was very small compared to the whole mess, but it was a start, and they’ve been working on it for hours. Maybe Loki was right. Maybe they deserved a quick break. Thor walked to where Loki sat on a piece of debris and sat next to him with a frown.”Fine.” He pouted with his arms crossed. Loki smiled and pointed up to the sky, and a star that was smaller and more white than most of the other stars.”Look, I think it’s a white dwarf.” Loki said. Thor looked up at the star, then at Loki.”What do you mean by “white dwarf”?” He asked. Both of them and the area were dimly lit by the stars, but Thor could definitely read Loki’s expression to tell he looked a bit excited, but in a more innocent, childish way.”Sometimes, when a star dies, it becomes a white dwarf until the rest of its energy is burnt out. Although, it often depends on things like size and density. I think…” Loki trailed off as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small leather book and flipped through the pages until he found a specific one. Loki muttered under his breath as he read, then shut it and put it back.”Yeah, things like density and size.” He confirmed. He looked back up at the sky. Thor raised an eyebrow.

“What’s density?” Thor asked. He was a bit curious about the book, but he wanted to understand what the word meant.”A good example is a rock versus a geode. A geode is a bit more hollow, so it has less density.” Loki replied without looking away from the sky. Thor looked back up as well.

“…How many stars do you think there are?” Thor asked. Loki shrugged and held his hands out the way he did before conjuring something up with his magic. Thor looked down and watched in newfound awe as Loki formed a much smaller version of the galaxies above in the palm of his hands and showed it to Thor.”How many do you see?” Loki asked. Thor’s mouth gaped open at the sight, they even glowed just like the real things, just smaller. Thor looked at Loki, both of them slightly illuminated by the tiny galaxies. He thought Loki could only conjure up things like weapons and objects, not entire galaxies shrunken to fit in his hands.”How long have you been able to do this?” Thor asked. Loki shrugged again.”It’s not a big deal, really. It’s a simple trick once you get the hang of it.” Loki said. Thor didn’t question it more and looked back at the galaxies. The small ones, that is.

[So, did this inspire you to write your own fanfic of the Double Trouble comic? Please tell me it worked, please.]

[keepers-of-lost-light]

Ascension

(A bit of a longer one.)

(An excerpt from the novel, The Lost Heir, written circa. July 2021)

The halls of The Norðurljós Citadel had fallen silent against the frost bitten sky. Snow poured from the clouds, coating the training courtyard with silence. Burying the ringing of steel clashing within the fighting rings. Dampening the thudding of swords against the straw and wooden dummies. 

Yet despite the world’s best efforts, the creak of long bows being drawn echoed in Rayna’s ears. 

She stood in the center of the courtyard, face upturned to the sky. Snowflakes kissed her cheeks, and clung to her lashes as the crisp frigid air filled her lungs. 

She had only been out here a few hours ago, had she not? Where had everyone gone in that time? Her mother had yelled at her earlier for taking up a bow, but that would not halt the training of the guard. Would it not?

She had to be dreaming then. Liza had escorted her back to her room after the incident. She told the other girl that she was going to rest, and she must have fallen asleep. 

Rayna pinched herself, but did not wake from the dream. Her face scrunched as she did so again. What? 

Glancing around, there was not a soul in sight. The sun peeked through the clouds for a brief moment, and glinted off the archery racks. Squinting, Rayna began towards the range where she saw an elegantly made longbow adorned in silver and blue. Light wood, and curling metallic designs; the piece looked as if an elven artisan beyond Kul’Terra had crafted it. 

Rayna paused. 

A half elven woman with curly bobbed brown hair stepped up to the archery range. A matching quiver was strapped across her back, and her armor was similarly designed to that of the longbow. Light cerulean linens and tempered gray leathers. 

The woman picked up the bow, and pulled an arrow. Notching it, she drew and fired with ease. Without even a second thought. Stream of glittering magic trailed off the arrow as it found it’s home in the bullseye. The half elf nodded to herself then turned to Rayna. 

“Hello,” her voice was sweet, calming like the lullabies Amma used to sing. Soft brown eyes scanned Rayna up and down. “You’re much younger than I thought you’d be.”

“Um,” Rayna tried. She looked around, trying to find anyone else that may be the target of conversation. 

The half elf exhaled a laugh. 

“There is no one else here but you and I, Rayna Estuko Helvig.”

Rayna jerked back upon hearing her full name. “How do you know…” The question died on her tongue. 

“Oh,” the half elf smiled. “I’m pretty sure I know almost everything there is to know in this little garden we call Thiania considering I was one of the people who discovered, mapped, and built half of it’s societies.” 

Rayna blanched. “Who are you? What’s going on exactly?” She stumbled back a step.

“Good,” the half elf’s smile grew. “I like questions, and I like people who follow their curiosities even more.” 

She held the longbow out to Rayna. 

“Why don’t you give it a try?”

Rayna paused. Biting her lip, her eyes locked onto the beautiful weapon offered to her. She looked between the bow and the half elf. The elf had tattoos that rested along her cheeks. Two sets that almost looked like extra pairs of eyes at rest.

“It’s alright,” the half elf urged. “I want to see what you have to offer.”

Rayna exhaled. Quick feet brought her closer. She tried to keep her hands steady as she took the longbow. Rayna reveled at the familiar and easy weight. She stepped up to the range like it was second nature. The hall elf handed her an arrow, and Rayna settled into her trained stance with the arrow notched.

The half elf chuckled, and stepped up behind her. 

“Try putting your feet closer together,” she said. “And don’t hold your arms too high.” 

The half elf gently corrected Rayna’s feet, and arms. She rounded behind Rayna, and they looked down the sight together. 

“You get too excited when offered the chance to shoot. Eagerness is not a bad thing, but you’re not a child anymore. These arrows are no longer toys.”

Rayna zeroed in on the arrowhead. Instead of the rounded point most training shots were capped with this one was sharp steel. The tip glinted in the sun. 

She had never shot a real arrow. In the six years she had been learning to shoot there was no need to shoot a real arrow. Not when she started at seven, and not now at fourteen.

Swallowing hard to keep her heart from jumping into her throat, Rayna released the tension. She lowered the bow. 

“What causes your hesitation, dear?” the half elf asked.

Rayna stared down at the bow. She twisted the arrow in her grip.

“Is this the same hesitation you take with your parents?”

Ice clawed at Rayna’s veins. “Who are you?” She whispered. 

“My name is Sapientia,” the half elf said. “Leader of the First Expeditions, Lady of Truth and Knowledge, Captain of the Safír Dreki and a founder of the city you call home.” 

Rayna blinked at the half elf, eyes wide, looking her up and down. Mind spinning, she took a step back from Sapientia. This woman was no longer mortal. 

Every book and journal she had read on the gods and the pantheons said as much. The history books of Kul’Terra and it’s founding told of her worship. Of the loyalty she earned. The creation myths detailed her beginnings. Her origins in The Kerligwain Valley, and how much she helped society as a whole. 

“You-” Rayna muttered. “You’re a god.”

“Does that surprise you?” 

“How are we speaking right now?” Rayna stuttered. “I’m no cleric, I don’t hold any magic. You’re considered a major deity. Major deities don’t speak to mortals like this.” 

“Well,” Sapientia started. “My sister and I aren’t like the other major deities, I’m sure you know that. Remember, I was just like you before I was what I am.” 

“That still doesn’t answer how we are speaking like this?” Rayna asked. She looked around the courtyard. The edges were beginning to blur. “We are speaking right? I thought this was a dream.”

“It is and it is not a dream,” Sapientia mused. “My daughter is the one who created the spell. It’s called Dream Walking. It gives me a way to speak with you through a dream as if I was speaking to you in real time.” 

“But why me?”

“Don’t we all ask ourselves that at one point or another?” 

The sky began to dim, and they both looked up. Sapientia sighed. 

“I believe you have more pressing matters on the horizon, my dear,” she said. “So let’s finish your lesson before you leave me.” 

Sapientia offered Rayna to step up to the range again. The younger girl took her position again cautiously. Sapientia raised Rayna’s arms, the longbow still in her hands. She helped Rayna lineup her shot, and took a step back.

“Now, can you tell me what caused your hesitation?” Sapientia asked. “Are you afraid?”

Rayna shook her head. “No,” she whispered.

“Are you sure?” 

“If I am,” Rayna said. “Then I don’t know what it is I fear.”

“There’s plenty of things to fear, Rayna,” Sapientia said. “Do you fear change? Do you fear growing up?” 

“I always thought change was a good thing,” Rayna answered, holding the tension. Her hands shook. “I was taught that change is needed in order to develop as a society, as people. It’s why my grandfather, Afi, taught me that amending past policies was a good thing. It was to accommodate the changes in the world. If they are not amended then people would continue to stagnate.” 

“Do you see your father doing that now?”

“Gods no,” Rayna exhaled. “He hasn’t made a single change since he became king. He has done nothing but watch my grandfather’s people waste away.” Her form deflated, but she straightened again before Sapientia could correct her.

“And what of  your father’s actions? What about them makes you hesitate to say something?” 

Rayna side-eyed Sapientia. 

“You’ve been watching me,” Rayna said. “Haven’t you?” 

Sapientia gave her a sad smile. “I know you know the answer, my dear. You’ve just been too afraid to ask yourself. That is why I am asking for you.” 

Rayna pointed her attention back to the target. Back to the steel arrowhead. 

“I’ve lived the last ten years of my life, since my father left me here when I was four, making my grandparents proud,” she whispered. “And I don’t understand why, when my parents look at me now, they are so disappointed in the person I want to be.” 

“Then why do you hesitate to ask them?”

Tears welled up, blurring Rayna’s sight. She bit the inside of her cheek. Her hands shook. She fought to steady them.

“It’s the same as asking why you hesitate to fire.” 

Rayna let go of the arrow. 

It sank into the bullseye. 

She let out a shaking breath. 

“Because I’m afraid that my father has destroyed the legacy my grandfather left behind, and that there is nothing I can do to fix it.”

[saitama-division]

Round 2 — Lola: “Ah yes, the talent show, one of my favorite parts about these types of events. Everyone here really brought their A-game here, I was genuinely impressed for the most part, however, there were a few that kinda fell short, alright, let’s go down the list.”

Kyler — “Those were some pretty cool moves, dude though I will admit it was kinda boring until the fire part and even then the excitement didn’t last long but you played into their strengths and ultimately did not disappoint, well done.”

Joey — “Okay, I’ll admit, that was cool as hell and seriously impressive, I like to think I’m a pretty perceptive person and have keen eyes but even you managed to pull the wool over my eyes a few times, incredible performance.”

Ren — “Ooooh, okay Mr. Showoff, you’re just filled with surprises aren’t ya? Although it’s not my preferred weapon of choice, I know it takes a whole lot of skill and dexterity to be able to wield it with such grace and accuracy as Ren did, definitely received points from me, amazing.”

Kunio — “AHAHAHAHA, Oh my fucking god, did y’all see Rose’s face? Girl looked like she was about to piss herself! Fucking amazing, just for that alone, you receive full marks! Good fucking show, dude. Absolutely nailed it with the horror and magic, 10 outta 10.”

Lyall — “Holy fucking shit…give me a minute…oh my fucking god that so fucking hot, God Lyall, you’re really making it hard not to just jump you right now, national television be damned. Look, I know I have like twelve more people to get through but I’ll just come out and say it, this was the best performance I’ve seen, you already got my vote, babes.”

Seiji — “Holy fuck, that took me back. I’m genuinely impressed, even if you’re a cop, it’s very clear that you are a very skilled one or at the l’est know what the fuck you’re doing. It was quick and efficient with just a tiny bit of flair, well done.”

Rintaro — “Alright, that was cool but it got boring pretty quick, like I was expecting some flips or something, shit, at least Aranai managed to spice it up a little, all you did was do wheelies and ride backwards, like c’mon man…do something!”

Kyō — “Whoaa, nice tricks! Like Shian, I know jack shit about surfing but watching you do all those tricks is making me consider getting into it…maybe…probably…anyways, that was really cool and you did a nice job.”

Asato — “Pfft, okay, boring dance aside, it was really funny just watching how emotionless and blank Asato looked while performing, if you were trying to make us laugh then congratulations, you definitely got a good chuckle out of me.”

Ryuko — “Holy shit that was so fucking cool! Don’t know the reference but the action and how cool it was definitely made up for it! You really have some skill, Ryuko, keep impressing me and you’ll earn yourself a fan, maybe a little reward from yours truly if you really wow me.”

Yano — “I’ve been to many, many casinos so I’m definitely familiar with Cardistry but somehow you still managed to impress me, good for you. You were so nimble with it too, it makes me wonder what else your fingers can do?…haha, kidding, kidding, I know Sakura has a bit of a claim on you, sweetie but I couldn’t help but to tease a bit, you know what it is.”

Maki — “Oh damn, I definitely did not expect…that. Shit, I think it’s safe to say that we were all surprised, and this is the same guy who gets scared around a bunch of teenagers? Huh…interesting, well anyways, that was an okay performance and that’s all I really have to say.”

Karada — “God, I will never get over how fucking hot you are, babes. Not only do you have a pretty face but there’s just something about the display of raw strength that just..really gets me going fufu…the things I’m thinking of, yeah, you know…so many possibilities.”

Tomi — “Tomi…darling…great performance, really, don’t get me wrong but…it was just so…bland…kinda quoting Shian here but in a pageant, this is one of the few chances you get to really put yourself out there, it has to be big! It has to be show stopping! But instead you played the violin like this is a middle school talent show instead of a nationwide pageant…kinda disappointing.”

Yorii — “Great singing as always Yorii, it felt like I was being guided by sirens into the deep depths of the sea but we literally have a round dedicated to music so using it here just feels like a cop out, y’know? For your sake, I hope what you have for the music competition will be something big.”

Kotan — “Not surprising that the guy who comes from the coldest division would have some amazing ice skating skills, you definitely redeemed yourself from the first round, I genuinely don’t have anything bad to say about this, this was well coordinated and beautifully executed, really nice.”

Rashaad — “Leave it to Rashaad for making the best drinks in Japan and showing off while doing so. Again, I have nothing negative to say, that was cool as fuck and now I want a drink so fucking bad. Amazing, Rashaad, just fucking amazing.”

Ace — “Ace…it was good, I guess, I’ve played pool before and really, nobody, not even me could even come close to the trick shots you made. You really know your stuff, huh? Nice.”

Let’s have a word with our Judges!

@saitama-division @okinawa-division @minato-division01 @shizuokadivision @akihabara-division03

[dycefic]

Have An Evil Day

No prompt this time, just a sequel to ‘Welcome To Evil-Mart’

Working at Evil-Mart is usually… well, it’s retail. It’s physically exhausting, you have to deal with a lot of idiots without being overtly rude, and your feet hurt. Even though the hours and pay are very good, the benefits are great, and our bosses treat us well compared to most retail employees, it’s still not what I’d call a fun job.

But it’s not what I’d call dull, either. Especially not on days like today.

I was promoted to supervisor after the Food Poisoning Incident, so I have a little more authority and a little less obligation to be pleasant and I got issued a weighted cosh because sometimes Evil-Mart customers get… feisty. I’d never had to use it, though, because those who hadn’t seen what I did to Majority Rules, either in person or on one of the cell-phone videos that circulated afterwards, had at least heard about it.  They didn’t give me any trouble.

I was halfway through my shift, and the worst things that’d happened had been running out of croissants and a machine oil spill in Aisle Seven, when our greeter pressed the alarm button, which sent an alert to my handset. As front-end supervisor, that meant me, so I went over. Sam, who is unusual in the henching community for having actually aged out rather than ‘being retired’ jerked his chin in the direction of a tall, swaggering figure. “He just came in,” he whispered.

I did a full double-take before I took it in. Superdyne. Fucking Superdyne.

We’d all heard about his dramatic heel-turn a couple of months ago. The whole world had heard about it. Superdyne, who’d skated closer and closer to the line for years, had decided to cross it in a blaze of bloodshed. He was a villain now, he said. There’d been a whole speech about how ingratitude had driven him to it blah blah blah.

I work at Evil-Mart. I’m from a hench family. If someone becomes a supervillain because they hate Mondays or want to turn us all into dinosaurs or whatever, I don’t judge. I will sell depth-charges and laser guns to anyone who can prove they’re over eighteen without hesitation. But even we get kind of grossed out by the ‘I am forced to turn evil because I haven’t been given enough love’ thing. People who are actually so fucked up by emotional abuse or neglect or some superhero killing their family, we’re fine with them. But they don’t say that’s why they do it, and most of them need a lot of therapy to even realize it. People who actually say that’s why are entitled dickwads.

And now the dickwad had walked into Evil-Mart like he was entitled. Like he thought he was one of us.

“Lockdown protocols,” I told Sam quietly. “On my authorisation.” That takes a minute or two, though, so I went over to talk to Superdyne. “Sir, I have to ask how you even knew where to find this place.”

He smirked at me. “I have my ways,” he said smugly. He’d either bribed or beaten someone, that was my guess. “So this is where the villains shop? We all thought you went to Wal-Mart.” He laughed, like he thought it was clever.

“Yes, so you all say,” I said dryly. I didn’t feel like pretending he was the first person to make the bad joke. “My next question, sir, is what made you think it was a good idea to come in here.”

He spread his hands. “I’m one of you now!” he said happily. “I’m a bad guy! So now I guess I shop where the bad guys shop!” He looked around, frowning a little. “Although I was expecting more weapons and explosives. A… more villainous atmosphere. I didn’t know Evil-Mart had fresh produce.”

“I don’t advise buying herbs here unless you’re a magical practitioner. Some of them have… unusual effects.” A lot of our produce is normal stuff, but some of it not only isn’t legal, it doesn’t exist anywhere else.

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. But the bright lights and the bakery?”

“We have excellent gluten-free breads. In many ways, Superdyne, this is just another store. We have sales, we mark down the breads in the afternoon, we even have a PA system.” I pulled out my handset, and thumbed the button that tied it to the PA. “Attention, shoppers,” I said in my most soothing Customer Service voice, which made him grin. “Evil-Mart wishes to inform you – “ The countdown on my handset reached zero, and I turned to look at the entrance as a huge blast door thudded down. That was the last part of the sequence – staff outside the area were already in lockdown and security were on their way. I smiled, and continued almost without a pause. “- That we are in lockdown at this time, due to the presence of Superdyne in the store. Please remain calm, and be advised that security are on their way to deal with the problem. If you have a personal grudge that you wish to address with Superdyne at this time, he is standing near Register Six with a stupid expression on his face.”

He was staring at me, stunned. “But… but…” he stammered, and damned if he didn’t look puzzled. “But I’m one of you now!”

“No,” I said flatly. “You were always evil, that’s true, but you’ll never be one of us. And for the record, I’m one of the people with a personal grudge. All those henchmen you’ve killed and maimed had families, asshole… and they all shop here.”

He swung at me, then, but I spent years in hench training. Even someone super-strong can be dodged, and once I slammed my cosh into his groin a few times his punches got a lot more aimless. Around then, Tiger Ty came over the register, claws out and snarling, and I figured I should stand out of the way.

About ten minutes later, I turned on the PA again. “Clean-up to Register Six,” I called, in the same special voice. “Category 7, class three. Shoppers, please be advised that lockdown is now lifted but Register Six will be closed until clean-up is completed.”

Hunter, who’d been working Register Six, came out from underneath it. He looked a little green. Well, he was still in his teens, this was probably his first fatal mobbing. “What’s Category 7?” he asked in a shaky voice. “I haven’t heard that before.”

“Biohazard.”

“Oh. Class three?”

“Send three people. He was a juicy one.” I stepped away from a spreading puddle of blood. “Run and get a couple of caution signs we can put around this mess.” I eyed it measuringly. “And one of those fifteen-gallon plastic tubs with a lid, I’ll damage it out.”

He eyed the mess. “Are you sure that’s big enough?”

“Yeah, the average human is only about seventeen gallons by volume, and I’m not going to put all the blood and mush in there, just the big pieces.”

He gulped. “Ah. Yes, ma’am.”

I called after him when he ran off. “One of the black tubs, not a clear one!” Which honestly should only be common sense, but you can’t count on a flustered teenager to have common sense.

We frown on killing customers at Evil-Mart, up to a point… but when a particularly murderous super-hero walks into our store, well, that’s something else. I’d have to fill out a ton of paperwork, though.

I had to chase off one of Doctor Malign’s minons and two members of the Genetic Reign before the clean-up crew arrived, both of whom urgently wanted samples. In the end I scraped a few pieces of liver and unidentified organ into two of the bags we use for possibly-contaminated money just to make them go away. (They’re good customers, and it was just going to go in the trash anyway.)

By the time the clean-up was done, all the big pieces were boxed up, and I’d finished the paperwork, my shift had been over for twenty minutes, and I’d been asked to come up to the boss’s office.

“Listen, I have no issues with how you handled the situation, I want you to know that.” Mr Trent leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingertips together. “It was quick, it was efficient, and… given your personal history with Superdyne, not to mention mine and that of half of our customer base… richly deserved.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. It came out too meek, and I cleared my throat and straightened up. It’s hard not to be intimidated by Mr Trent, when you’re in the same room with him. It’s not his fault, and he does his best, but even under the strictest control his fear-inducing powers tend to unsettle anyone who gets too close. We all know he’s not doing it on purpose and we try not to show our reactions. “Do you have any orders regarding the remains?”

“Doctor Order wants them.” He rubbed his chin. “Get someone from the pharmacy to prepare samples for him, please, including brain tissue. He’s our primary supplier, and we can’t offend him. As for the rest… as you know, I’m retired, and I don’t usually participate in the Endless War.” One of his hands dropped to his left thigh. His prosthetic leg is some of Doctor Order’s best work, but the injury that led to his retirement had been brutal even by our standards. “But this is different. Superdyne came here. To our place of safety. We need to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

I nodded. “Do you want the remains dumped somewhere public? Some kind of dramatic display?”

“No. Something more direct.” He rubbed his chin again, then tapped the intercom on his desk. “Iris, please send up Miss Fedorova from Marketing and Mr Levy from the warehouse.”

“Yes, sir,” Iris responded, and he clicked off the intercom again.

“The three of you worked together very well, during the food poisoning incident,” he explained. “And I believe they can assist us in a satisfactory conclusion.” He hesitated, then smiled ruefully. “Perhaps you should wait outside until they get here. I can tell I’m unsettling you.”

“Sir, I know you’re not – “

“Not doing it on purpose.” He sighed. “I do appreciate how hard you all work to make me feel… accepted, I really do. But I’m very annoyed right now, which makes control more difficult for me, so I think we’d both be more relaxed if you waited outside while I do my meditation exercises.”

I waited outside. When the three of us went into his office again, the miasma of low-level fear was definitely a bit lighter, and he smiled. “All right. Now, this conversation is going to be very confidential, and I will remind you all of the agreements you signed when you were employed.” We all chorused agreement, and he nodded. “Good. Now, this is very much a secret, even among Evil-Mart staff, but we do have a few online clients who are… ah… on the other side of the fence.”

Ms Fedorova blinked. “What?”

Knuckles sighed. “We ship to a few heroes,” he explained. “The ones who are… less homo than sapiens, if you get my drift.”

I didn’t, and from her expression Ms Fedorova didn’t either. Mr Trent spread his hands, drawing our eyes to his fingers. Which as a rule nobody looks at, because there’s fourteen of them, with four joints in each finger, and we know he’s self-conscious about it. “The less… purely human ones,” he said quietly. “One of the reasons I created Evil-Mart was to give those who can’t pass for human, like me, a place to be… people. To have dignity. So that the obligate carnivores weren’t reduced to living on pet-food or scavenging for scraps, so that those with complex metabolisms could get the supplements they need so that people who are still people, for all their outward differences, could shop in safety. There are a great many more monsters, demigods, abominations of science and other non-standard persons among our set than among the heroes, and I wanted to meet their needs, as well as selling weapons and Lair-away-from-home sets and so on.”

“And there are a few heroes who order from us for that reason,” Knuckles added. “The ones who can’t get medications to suit their metabolism, or need to eat things that you can’t get easily anywhere else.”

I nodded, because that much I understood. We have some very esoteric ‘dietary supplies’ that start with fresh, healthy, well-treated and disease-free prey animals frozen whole (from mouse up to calf and goat kept in stock, larger sizes by pre-order, halal and kosher certified where possible) and end with human blood (rejected blood bank stock mostly, we have an arrangement), and human flesh and organs (sourced from hospitals, morgues and crematoriums, guaranteed no murder, at least not by us). “Well, I suppose that makes sense. I’m surprised we ship to them, though.”

“Oh, they don’t know we know. It’s all assumed names and secret bank accounts.” Knuckles grinned. “But Mr Trent has all our online customers identified before we ship. And for the ones who don’t have any other options, well… we let it slide.”

“I can see why you don’t want that to get out.” Ms Fedorova tapped her chin. “What does this have to do with disposing of the body? I was planning to set up a really ghoulish display in a public place somewhere, I already have some sketches.” Marketing for Evil-Mart is… well, it includes more than designing our sale flyers.

“No. We’re going to deliver them to a hero… one of the ones who owes us… and make it very clear that just because someone decides to admit he’s a villain, that doesn’t make him one of us and it doesn’t entitle him to union services,” Mr Trent said flatly. “I want to make it crystal clear to all of them that a heel turn does not mean their sins are forgiven, or that we will accept them as anything other than a very brief amusement.”

Late that night – we were all on overtime, but it couldn’t be done in daylight – we wheeled a cart down the run-down hallway of a shoddy apartment building. “This is a terrible address for a hero,” Ms Fedorova muttered. “Are we sure he lives here?”

“I deliver here a couple of times a month.” Knuckles was pushing the cart. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Ms Fedorova cleared her throat, coughed once or twice, and suddenly her voice was deeper and her very faint Russian accent was as thick as pea soup. “This is intimidation tactic,” she said, grinning toothily. “Do not act surprised.”

I knocked on the door, but let Knuckles do the talking. “Delivery, Mr West,” he called, using the fake name the guy had been giving.

It worked… the door was unlocked and opened almost immediately. “I scheduled the order for next – “ the mark said, and then we were pushing inside, slamming the door behind us.

“Do not be alarmed, Mr… Dinoid, is it?” Ms Fedorova said, folding her arms. “Evil-Mart is knowing all along your real identity. But you are needing to eat, and we are not turning down regular business, so we make no trouble.”

Knuckles rolled his eyes behind her back at how much she was hamming it up, but I waved a hand. Let her have her fun. So Knuckles started unloading the boxes onto the table while she talked. “First, your Budget Bunny Box. Your favourite, da?” The next box, smaller, plunked down. “Two fresh chickens, halal certified, healthy and having lived good life, gift for good customer.” Knuckles dumped the plastic tub on the floor. “And mortal remains of Superdyne, with note.”

Dinoid was staring at us, but that made him shift into a combat stance, his long claws spread. “The… Superdyne’s dead? And in there?”

“Well. Most of him. The big pieces.” Ms Fedorova shrugged an impressively Russian shrug. I hadn’t even known that was a thing, but when she did it, it was obvious. “You must understand, when a mob tears a man apart, it is hard to find every little piece.”

“I’m pretty sure Doctor Malign and the Genetic Reign took off with doggy bags,” I said, as if I hadn’t handed them over myself. “And Doctor Order probably has some of him too, by now. So looking out for clones would be a good idea, I don’t know if that’s in the note.”

Insofar as that reptilian face could show readable expressions, he looked shocked. “Why on earth would… why? He changed sides? And why did you bring him to me?”

“We know your address, we know you don’t want to turn us in because we’re the only ones who can supply your meals, and our boss wanted us to make this very clear.” I indicated the note. Since Ms Fedorova was hamming up her Sexy Russian Supervillain act, and Knuckles was very obvious Muscle, I figured it was on me to be the Reasonable One. “He might have stopped being a hero, but that didn’t make him one of us. That didn’t make him acceptable to us. Our boss wants it made very clear that your failures shouldn’t expect to be accepted by us… or even spared by us.”

He shifted slowly, the tip of his tail twitching. “I… see. I understand why you would reject Superdyne. He was notorious for killing and maiming people on… your side. But I know other defectors have been accepted. Philomel, for example.”

“Philomel was child of villains. She is young, she is rebellious, she sides with heroes for a while.” Ms Fedorova shrugged. “Is understandable, da? The young do foolish things. She comes home, all is forgiven.”

He nodded slowly. “Tenebrous?”

“That story I don’t know.” Ms Fedorova glanced at me.

I nodded. “Tenebrous was just a kid. He was twelve when Varide recruited him. Nineteen when he broke with the guy. Varide put a kid into combat, left him with massive PTSD, then ditched him when he had a breakdown and went too far. Mx Frantique at least made sure he had a safe place to stay and some therapy.”

“It’s happened a few times.” Knuckles rested his elbows on the cart’s handles, his inhumanly big, strong hands dangling. “But there’s a process. A system. If someone’s sponsored by a villain in good standing, like Frantique sponsoring Tenbrous, they can be accepted. Nobody gets to just choose to join. Especially not a smug, entitled prick like Superdyne.”

Ms Fedorova suddenly leaned forward, scowling. “And why are you called Dinoid? You are not dinosaur. You are clearly monitor lizard. Golden monitor, I think.” She reached out and prodded his arm. “And not healthy, either. Look at colouration! You do not keep environment humid enough. Are having trouble with shedding, da?”

Now we were all staring at her. “You’re a lizard expert now?” Knuckles asked.

She shrugged. “What? Is hobby. Mamma’s little Varanus Acanthurus are pride and joy. Sadly, cannot keep larger monitors in city. Is unkind.”

Dinoid ran a hand over his head slowly. “Not many people realize,” he said slowly. “That’s why I order from you guys. I used to get frozen… food… from a pet supplier, but then I got contacted by someone who told me there was another option.”

“Is good thing. Those pet suppliers, they are rogues. They do not keep animals healthy, can get diseases or mites from those things.” Ms Fedorova sniffed. “I would never buy from them. My babies would get sick.”

He actually chuckled, then, seeming to relax a bit. “You’re not wrong. After… this happened… I got really sick a couple of times before I figured out what to eat, and where to get it. And even the reputable suppliers don’t always have the healthiest stock.” He opened his mouth wide, making a gagging noise. “You have no idea how bad that ‘reptile food’ is. Eating whole animals may be a little disgusting, but it’s nothing to some of that stuff.”

“I believe it,” I said emphatically. “There’s a reason Evil-Mart has such an extensive pet-food line. The horror stories we hear from some of our customers… well, you’d believe it, I bet, but most humans just look confused.”

Knuckles nodded, and spread his hands. “People who can’t pass for regular humans… or even for people, the way most normies see it… are a lot more common on our side of the fence than yours. That’s why we delivered to you. We figured you really needed it.”

“Does he order from the pharmacy?” Ms Fedorova was around behind him now, examining his back. “He is having calcium deficiency, am betting. He needs nutritional supplement.”

“I take a nutritional supplement,” he said defensively.

“The one for normal-sized lizards is not enough for man-sized monitor/human hybrid,” she said firmly. “Check pharmacy section next time. We are having excellent selection of supplements for hybrids, and chart to tell you how much to take for body-mass.”

He looked back and forth between the three of us. “You people are… not what I would have expected from an evil supermarket.”

“We may be… morally challenged,” I said, shrugging, “but we’re not heartless.” I looked around his tiny, shabby apartment. “Unlike some of your lot. I thought you were on a team. Why are you living here?”

He ducked his head. “I couldn’t live at the base,” he said, his tail drooping. “My… I made people uncomfortable. And the stipend isn’t much.”

“Isn’t much? With the merchandising deals they have?” Ms Fedorova sounded shocked, and the accent had dropped back a lot. “I know for a fact that if the accountants ever got hold of their books they’d owe more in back taxes than… well, than Evil-Mart would if our illegal product arm ever got discovered. And we pay our taxes on the legitimate stuff scrupulously.”

Dinoid blinked rapidly, though I couldn’t tell whether he was more surprised by her suddenly dropping her act or the idea that Evil-Mart pays taxes. “You do?”

“Of course. Not under that name, of course, there’s a shell company.” She sniffed. “All villains do. Al Capone, you know. We’re not getting caught that way again.”

Knuckles and I both nodded when he looked at us, and he shook his head. “Huh. Makes sense, I guess.”

“It does.” I looked around again. The place really was crappy. “I know it’s a personal question, Mr… West, but under the circumstances I’d like to know… how much is that stipend?”

He looked down at the floor for a while, then cleared his throat. “Uh. $1100 a month.”

We all stared at him. Ms Fedorova’s mouth fell open. Knuckles looked shocked, and I was horrified. “$1100 a month?!” I asked, my voice coming out louder than I’d intended. “For risking your life on a superhero team?! I have teenaged cashiers working part-time who make more than that!”

He looked almost as startled as we did. “For working a cash register?!”

“Evil-Mart pays pretty good.” Knuckles shrugged. “But that stipend is disgusting.”

“You are being exploited,” Ms Fedorova said, sounding really aghast. “That is terrible. Why, baseline henchman pay is twice that, and there are danger bonuses and…” Her voice dropped suddenly. “You don’t have a union, do you?”

“A union? Of course we don’t have a…” He trailed off. “You mean you do?”

“Of course we do. An extremely well-armed one.” Ms Fedorova folded her arms. “Henchmen And Allied Industries has represented us for generations. The last time a supervillain executed a union henchman for failure, he was boiled in oil… literally. On camera. Oh, of course some of the less reputable villains just pick up small-time trash from the streets, untrained rabble from the gangs and so on, so they can treat them as disposable, but we union members are skilled workers, with rights and protections. I bet you don’t even get overtime.”

“Of course not. Crime happens when it happens, and we have to…” He trailed off. “You guys get overtime?”

“We’re getting double time and a half for this conversation. And an extra day off.”

His eyes widened again. “Really? Wow, that’s… even when I was working a regular job, before this, I didn’t get pay like that.” He looked down at his hands and bared his teeth in what looked like an unhappy expression. “And now I can’t work anything but this kind of job. People don’t like having a scary dinosaur in their restaurant.”

There was a long pause.

“You can cook?” Ms Fedorova asked carefully.

“Yeah. I worked in my parents’ restaurant before… this.” He gestured at himself. “They were killed when we were attacked, and I was… changed.”

We all looked at each other. “After you’ve returned Superdyne’s remains to whoever you consider appropriate,” I said, grabbing a notepad and scribbling down my number, “I’d like you to give me a call. Evil-Mart is always hiring in the bakery and deli, and I mean always. Most bad guys aren’t great cooks. We don’t know why, it just seems to be one of those things.”

“You want me to join the bad guys?”

“I want you to work in a bakery. Villains and henchmen need to eat, and so do their families. Nobody’s going to ask you to rip superheroes in half, just maybe make a sandwich that won’t give anyone food poisoning.”

“That’s a regular concern?”

“Six months ago the three of us ran Evil-Mart’s physical store completely unassisted for most of a day because the only people who weren’t down with food poisoning were the ones who’d had the vegetarian and kosher meals.” I shuddered at the recollection. “Trust me. Someone who can cater staff functions without a major disaster would never have to live in an apartment like this working for us.”

“And we get full benefits, including dental.” Knuckles was shaking his head. “I bet you don’t even get hospital.”

“What hospital would take me? I always figured I’d go to the zoo and talk to the vet if – “

Ms Fedorova actually put her arms around him. “You,” she told him firmly, “are going to resign your terrible exploitative job, and then I will personally sponsor you to the union immediately. I have a spare room. You will like it. Humidity and temperature can be set just how you like, and Mamma Yelena will take you to real doctor expert in health of hybrids.”

“Those exist?” he asked, sounding a bit overwhelmed.

“Yeah, the Genetic Reign has like three of them,” I said sympathetically. “Listen, you can take some time to think it over, but you don’t have to put up with this kind of exploitation just because you don’t look human. Nearly a third of Evil-Mart’s staff can’t pass, and they’re treated just like everyone else.”

Superdyne’s dramatic demise got a lot of news coverage. Apparently it came as a real shock to the ‘good guys’ that there were some monsters even the superest villains wouldn’t embrace.

Dinoid no longer exists. Ismail Jameel works at Evil-Mart, and has expanded our fresh food lines a lot already. He’s a nice guy, and after Ms Fedorova told everyone how disgustingly he’d been exploited by those so-called ‘heroes’, he was welcomed with open arms. Literally, in at least one case – he’s dating someone from the warehouse, I’ve heard, though I don’t know who. He says we should rename the store, because we suck at being evil.

But evil is a really relative term. It can mean the blackest depravity, or a moment of viciousness, or even just ‘people on the other side’. Evil-Mart is called that because everyone, at least everyone on our side, is welcome. Plus, we all think it’s funny that the least-evil megacorporation is called ‘Evil-Mart’. What can we say? Bad guys have a sense of humour too.

Have an evil day!

[4dudesfromthe0oze]

Magic Training (Raph x Yokai Reader)

Romantic ❤️ (crushing)

tw: slight angst

word count: 2,098

You’re a Yokai so it would be assume you’re good with mystic powers… but that is incorrect. For whatever reason you’re not exactly the best with your powers. You find yourself training with the eldest brother, Raphael, to help with your powers.

You stare down at your hands, trying to use your magic yet you can only manage to get a spark out. You sigh in disappointment, closing up your hand and looking back up at the turtles as they train. Little did you realize one of them noticed your failed attempt at conjuring up your magic and came up with an idea.

The distracted turtle was quickly shoved to the ground by Donatello who quickly begins to gloat.

“Ha hah! Get bested by my tech-bo, Raphael! Told you guys that I don’t need mystic powers to kick serious butt!”

“Right right… Ya got me.”

Raph grumbles a little as Donnie puts his hands on his hips proudly before suddenly one of Leonardo’s portals opens beneath him and his falls in with a small yelp.

He’s spat out by another portal with a thud, noticing his weapon gone and glances around in confusion before spotting the culprit.

“Leo! Get your grubby hands off of my tech-bo!”

“Hmm… Nah I don’t think I will.”

Leo smirks a smug smirk, twirling the tech-bo in his hand before tossing it through another portal much to Donnie’s frustration. He grumbles a little before suddenly being put through another portal and out of the ring.

Raph chuckles as Donnie is transported next to him, crossing his arms and grumbling beneath his breath. Now it was just Mikey and Leo in the ring.

The brothers stare each other down, Leo’s smug smirk not disappearing as he waits for Mikey to move first. Mikey swings his weapon beside him as he moves around in place.

“Whatchu gonna do, Leo? I don’t need to get close to you but you need to get close to me to attack!”

“You make a fair point there, Michael, but none of that matters ‘cuz I’m still gonna win!”

Leo chuckles before Mikey swings his weapon at him. He opens up a portal that Mikey’s weapon goes through, the other end opening behind Mikey and hitting his head.

Mikey lets out a small whine, rubbing the back of his head. “Ouch! Cheap shot!”

He looks up to where Leo was before noticing he wasn’t there. He was confused before he feels his arm grabbed and pulled back. Before he even had the chance to recover he was already out of the ring.

“Aaaand the winner is… me! Neon Leon! Victorious once again!”

Leo does a little dance before taking a bow. Mikey grumbles a little as he gets off the floor, looking up at Leo.

“Those dang portals… Welp, GG Leo.”

Mikey raises his hand to high three Leo to which he gladly accepts.

“Thank you, dear Michael. You fought well but not as well as me.”

“Oh hop off your high horse.”

Mikey gently shoves Leo who shoves him in return, the two laughing as they go to their other two brothers.

“Good job on another win I guess. Even if you cheated your way to it.”

Raph mutters the last bit as he fist bumps Leo who smiles up at his older brother.

“I heard that! You’re only cranky that Donnie, of all people, got you out.”

Leo jokes, receiving a glare from Donnie that makes his smug smile widen.

“Scoff! The nerve, ‘Nardo, the nerve.”

The other three brothers giggle and laugh together. You giggle sweetly to which the brothers look over.

“Oh right! Y/N was watching the whole time. I’m sure you must be embarrassed, Raph.”

Raph blushes before gently elbowing Leo who chuckles. You notice Raph’s blush but don’t really question why as you jump down from where you were watching and going over to the brothers.

“No need to be embarassed, Raph. You’ll get ‘em next time.”

You smile up at him sweetly, not noticing his blush brightening as the other brothers giggle in amusement.

“How about we bring these rematch into the arcade, boys?”

Donnie gently shoves Leo who elbows him as he steps ahead.

“I’ll mop the floor with you in whatever game we play.”

Leo shrugs before Mikey jumps over his shoulder and causes him to stumble back.

“Well I’m gonna mop the floor with both of you!”

Mikey giggles before rushing to the arcade, Leo rushing after him and Donnie following behind. Now it was just you and Raph.

The two of you look to where everyone ran off before you look up at Raph.

“We should hurry up and catch up to them before they decide to not include you in the rematch.”

You start to walk off before being stopped by Raph addressing you.

“Hey um, y/n?”

You turn over slightly, looking up at Raph who you could see was kind of nervous. Your eyebrow raises curiously before he speaks up.

“I saw that you tried to activate your magic… Still struggling, hm?”

He asks to which your eyes widen a little. You glance to the side, a bit of shame in your expression before proceeding to nod.

“…y… yeah…”

You admit, scratching the back of your head. Raph didn’t like seeing your expression, gently placing his hand on your shoulder which gets you to look up at him.

“Maybe I could help? I mean… I’m not exactly an expert but I do want to try and help… That is if you let me.”

Raph offers much to your surprise. A faint rosy blush tints your cheeks that you hope he doesn’t notice. You think to yourself as you glance to his hand that was still on your shoulder. He moves his hand away when you look over, about to apologize before watching you nod with a warm smile.

“…Yeah… I’d like that… but how do you plan to help?”

You ask, watching as he thinks about it. He didn’t think he was gonna make it this far. Eventually you see his eyes light up with an idea in mind.

“Maybe we train. Me and my brothers train to sharpen up our skills so it should work the same with you.”

Raph suggests so he can see the doubt in your expression which makes him frown a bit.

“Ah… I guess it’s not that great of an idea..”

You tense up as he frowns before quickly shaking your head.

“N-No no! It’s a good idea! It’s just… Like you said, you guys train to sharpen your skills but… I can’t really sharpen my skills if they’re not… there.”

A frown forms in your expression, staring down at the ground. Raph shakes his head before proceeding to pick you up to his eye level. You were pretty short compared to him so the distance between you and the floor was pretty big.

“Ya do got skill! You’re pretty good at physical combat so we just gotta tap into that magic of yours and then bam! You’ll be a fighting machine! But we can’t do that if ya don’t have any confidence!”

Raph exclaims before carrying you over to the ring. You look at him silently, taking his words before your smile returns. You doubt that anything could help you use your magic but hearing Raph praise you made you feel a little hopeful.

He places you down in the ring before taking out his tomfas, whipping out his mystic hands and smashing them together.

“Come at me with everything you got! Just don’t try and stab me..”

Raph mutters to which you giggle to. You nod with a small ‘mhm’ before pulling out your weapon, a kusarigama. The both you back away little, bowing to each other out of respect before getting into a battle stance. You see him smirk at you, feeling small butterflies flutter in your chest before shaking them away.

You swing around the chain of your kusarigama, both of you taking steps around the ring to wait and see what the other does. Raph wasn’t exactly the most patient so he’s the one to rush in first, just like how you predicted.

A right hook that you manage to dodge sends you stumbling back before throw your chain at him as he tries to swing at you again. The chain wraps around his are, pulling him forward. He falls to the ground where you take the opportunity to back away and create some distance.

He pushes himself back off the ground, letting out a low chuckle as he dusts himself off.

“Nice job! Raph’s about to turn up the heat though!”

“Oh yeah? Well Y/N isn’t gonna back down!”

You respond as you cross your arms and smirking smugly, Raph looking offended.

“Ay! Only Raph gets to talk in the first person!”

Raph punches his fist together before charging at you once more. You rush at him in return, swinging your chain beside you. He swings a punch at the same time you swing your chain. Before you even notice it your on the ground, staring up at the ceiling blankly while Raph rushes to your side.

“Y/N? Y/N?! Are you okay?! Ah jeez I really messed up this time…”

Raphael carefully picks you up, you wincing a little in pain before staring at him in confusion.

“…What even happened…? We were both charging at each other and then suddenly I’m staring up at the ceiling…”

You let out a small groan as Raph carries you out of the training area, holding you close without realising it.

“I-I messed up... I hit you too hard and you went flying… I-I didn’t mean to hurt you Y/N, honest…”

Raph mutters. You could hear the anxiety in his voice which gets you to pat his head gently. He looks down at you in confusion before you start to speak.

“I know it was an accident, Raphy. You wouldn’t purposely hurt me. I’ll be fine, it’s okay.”

Raph blushes as you call him ‘Raphy’ though you don’t notice that as he tears up at your reassurance that everything was okay.

“…R-Right… okay… You’ll be okay. Lets find somewhere for you to lay down though.”

He sighs in relief before feeling your hand gently brush away his tears. His heart skips a beat before he giggles goofily as he glances away. You smile warmly at his behavior that you’d describe as cute, feeling him pick up the pace as he brings you to his room.

Gently does Raph place you on to his bed. It was big and comfy but it would not be an exaggeration to say you sink into the middle where the big guy would typically lay down.

“Is there anything I can get you? Water? Food? First aid kit?”

You look at Raph and giggle at him before you pat the spot beside you to gesture him to sit down.

“I’m fine, big guy. Just come sit and relax with me.”

Raph nods before taking a seat on the bed beside you. You gently place his hand on his, receiving a small blush from him.

“I’m fine. There’s nothing to worry about. My bodies a little sore but I’ll be fine in a few hours. It’ll be easier to recover knowing that you’ve calmed down.”

He stares down at your hand on top of his, taking a deep breath in before letting out a sigh.

“…Okay okay… I’m calm. But still… sorry for accidentally punching you into a wall.”

“Accidents happen, Raph. Besides I’m way too tough for you to seriously hurt me anyway.”

Your joke to which both of you laugh at together. A small rosy blush tints your cheeks hearing his laugh. Seeing him happy just made you happier before you gently intertwine his hand with yours.

He falls silent and stares down at you curiously, seeing your tired gaze before you make a request.

“…Take a nap with me, Raphy?”

Raphs heart thumps against his chest, you nearly being unable to distinguish the red of his blush to the red of his ninja mask. Unable to say any words he just nods before carefully moving to lay down.

You two faced and stared at each other in silence before you suddenly move closer and put yourself in his arms.

“…See you in a couple of hours, Raph..”

Raph stares down at you ask you close your eyes. He anxiously puts his hands around you before managing to muster out,

“R-Right… see ya..”

He mutters as you fall asleep in his arms. After a few minutes he manages to relax, staring down at you as he keeps his body as stiff as a board. He smiles to himself as he brushes your hair that got on your face before joining you in a cozy nap.