#magical movie handbook

[magicalhideoutengineer]

Newt's Expulsion

Graves examines the file on his desk.

GRAVES: You were thrown out of Hogwarts for endangering human life—

NEWT: That was an accident!

GRAVES: —with a beast. Yet one of your teachers argued strongly against your expulsion. Now, what makes Albus Dumbledore so fond of you?

- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: The Original Screenplay

J.K. Rowling: Dumbledore was a young teacher at the time Newt was expelled. He wasn't able to revoke expulsions.

- Twitter

J.K. Rowling: He took the blame for something someone else did. That's significant, but I can't tell you why. How did he keep his wand? That's also significant. I can't tell you why.

- Snitchseeker

Newt grew up in England, and fell in love wtih fantastic beasts at an early age. He attended Hogwarts, where he was placed in Hufflepuff house. He enjoyed learning about the training of magical creatures, as did his close freind Leta Lestrange. But one day, Leta went too far with an experiment that ended up endangering a fellow student's life. Instead of allowing his good freind to get expelled. New took the balme for Leta and was expelled in her place.

- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: Magical Movie Handbook

NAME: Newton Artemis Fido Scamander

AGE: 29

RESIDENCE: England, United Kingdom

APPEARANCE: Hair: dark; Eyes: green/blue; Built: Tall and slim.

OFFENSE: Illegal possession of a magical beast causing endangerment of human life and violation of Animal Welfare Laws 101/304.

DATE: 1913

LOCATION: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, UnitedKingdom

LEVEL: 3

WITNESSES: Multiple.

NOTES: Proposed expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraftand Wizardry due to the illegal possession of a magical beast causing endangerment of human life and violation of animal welfare laws 101/304.

Magical Beast: Jarvey, Level 3

Punishment: Expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The expulsion was never enforced - Hogwarts Professor Albus Dumbledore defended Newton resulting in his name being cleared.

* The Ministry of Magic Animal Welfare Department were also informed of the violation and required to rehouse the magical creature.

- The Case of Beasts: Explore the Film Wizardry of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Upon graduation from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Mr. Scamander joined the Ministry of Magic in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.

- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 2001 Edition

Upon leaving Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Mr. Scamander joined the Ministry of Magic in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.

- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 2017 Edition

[mlpmoviemerch]

New My Little Pony Essential Handbook: A Magical Guide for Everypony Book

New My Little Pony Essential Handbook: A Magical Guide for Everypony Book available here: https://amzn.to/4cQDZMS

Details below:

Do you want to know your Alicorn from your Seapony? Or your Pegasus from your Hippogriff? This complete guide is the ultimate companion to everything My Little Pony and is the only guide to cover all nine series of Friendship is Magic, plus specials The Best Gift Ever and The Rainbow Roadtrip and My Little Pony: The Movie.

With fun, engaging and colourful spreads, this handbook features everyone's favourite characters, locations all across Equestria and some of the best loved moments from the series. Perfect for young fans, the guide also includes a search-and-find for Tank, the beloved tortoise, and Pinkie Pie's best jokes!

Sure to bring delight and excitement to fans everywhere, this is the only guide a Pony fan could need.

In the land of Equestria, the Mane Six embark upon adventures together with friends. Whether battling villains, helping everypony or throwing a really good party, Twilight Sparkle and friends are always on hand to share love, magic, kindness and friendship.

Publisher: Egmont (September 5, 2019)

Language: English

Paperback: 208 pages

Perfect gift for any My Little Pony fan!

Features an Essential Handbook: A Magical Guide for Everypony book.

Brand: Hasbro

Character: My Little Pony

Color: Multicolor

Assembled Product Dimensions (L x W x H): 7.87 x 0.51 x 9.84 inches

Assembled Product Weight: 1.57 pounds

Inspired by My Little Pony

[moaloves]

All Disney Descendants Books

Isle of the Lost Novels:

The Isle of the Lost

Return to the Isle of the Lost

Rise of the Isle of the Lost

Escape from the Isle of the Lost

Beyond the Isle of Lost

Descendants School of Secrets:

CJ’s Treasure Chase

Freddie’s Shadow Cards

Ally’s Mad Mystery

Lonnie’s Warrior Sword

Carlos’s Scavenger Hunt

Graphic Novels and Manga:

Disney Manga: Descendants - Rotten to the Core, Book 1: The Rotten to the Core Trilogy

Disney Manga: Descendants The Rotten to the Core Trilogy, Volume 2

Disney Manga: Descendants The Rotten to the Core Trilogy, Volume 3

Disney Manga : Descendants - Evie's Wicked Runway, Book 1

Disney Manga : Descendants - Evie's Wicked Runway, Book 2

Disney Manga : Descendants - Dizzy's New Fortune: Volume 1

Disney Manga : Descendants - Mal's Royal Challenge

Isle of the Lost: The Graphic Novel

Return to the Isle of the Lost: The Graphic Novel

Spell books:

Descendants: Mal’s Spell Book

Descendants: Mal’s Spell Book 2

Guides:

Descendants 3: The Villain Kids’ Guide for New VKs

Descendants 2: Uma's Wicked Book: For Villain Kids

Descendants: Uma's Guide to Life on the Isle

Movie Novelizations:

Descendants 1

Descendants 2

Descendants 3

Descendants: The Rise of Red Junior Novel (Disney Rise of Red)

Miscellaneous:

Descendants: The World of Auradon: Royals and Villains

Disney Descendants Wicked World Wish Granted Cinestory Comic

World of Reading: Descendants The Rise of Red: Paint This Town Red

Descendants: Mal's Diary

Descendants: The Magic of Friendship

World of Reading, Level 2: Stronger Together

Welcome to Auradon: A Descendants 3 Sticker and Activity Book

Descendants 3: Audrey’s Diary

Descendants 2: Evie’s Fashion Book

World of Reading Descendants 3: Stronger Together Level 2

Secrets of Auradon Prep: Insider's Handbook

Disney Descendants Yearbook

[psifitopia]

Ghost House and the dead

So, it's very likely, given their magic and all the hauntings going on, that citizens of the Neitherworld have fairly easy access to books, music, movies...and television. Hence, Betelgeuse seeing The Exorcist 167 times. They are probably very aware of Lydia and Ghost House.

I believe the show is a hit in the afterlife. I think the ghosts would be very intrigued by this strange, living woman who can see them and stars in her television show. She's a celebrity and a problematic fave.

Because, here's the thing. The living are not supposed to have read the handbook, almost married a ghost, and had ghosts for godparents. And, I think Betelgeuse is notorious enough, and those events strange enough, that Lydia's history with ghosts would be common knowledge. After all, they may be dead, but the ghosts are still people, with human emotions and thought processes.

So, they watch Ghost House and they're rooting for the ghosts, but Lydia is just...charming and sweet and respectful. Sure, she wants to help people, but, unless threatened, she tries to help the ghosts, too.

Still, some ghosts are haters and some are genuinely concerned. Rules are a good thing. Rules protect them from the living, making a trip to the lost souls room less likely. And, sure, Lydia hasn't sent even a single ghost there...yet. But, she's a chaotic element in an afterlife that tries very hard to be orderly. So, imagine the gossip and rumors surrounding her. The intense debates.

And, now, she's actually made an illegal trip into the afterlife and once again almost married that weird bioexorcist guy. I think they'll be heartbroken, if Ghost House really is cancelled.

[tomthefanboy]

D&D Movie Follows the Rules

I want to make it very clear that this was not a criteria for me to enjoy D&D Honor Among Thieves. I would not have blamed the actors, crew, or writers if this had not been the case…

I was unable to find anything that would interfere with the Rules as Written.

There are things that go beyond the rules included in the Player's Handbook, yes. But everything is well within the realm of feats, magic items, and background abilities that needn't be specifically called out or even have visible evidence. Everything in the film is BALANCED. ESPECIALLY for high level characters.

In every fight scene I compulsively counted 6 second rounds and saw no damage dealt that would be beyond the normal number of attacks for the character. Weapons drawn fell within the range of bonus actions. No spells cast too quick. No simultaneous concentration spells. Spells stayed in keeping with saving throws, durations, ranges, and areas of effect. Creature abilities and attacks matched their statistic entries. Class abilities like rage or wild magic even stayed in their framework.

One possible issue would be wildshape going beyond the usual "twice per day"and shows 6 uses in one encounter. But a feat to trade spell slots for shapes fixes that! Even the owlbear of it all is easy enough to dismiss with Polymorph, a magic item, or simply replacing the Circle of the Moon's Elemental form with 4 Monstrosities (more than fair since it's a drop from CR5 to CR3). But even if you had to bend the capabilities, the uses of wildshape are still utilized as actions and bonus actions within their rounds and don't grant any abilities not in keeping with rules.

Bigger nerds than me can cry homebrew all they want but the DMG provides framework for changes in keeping with game balance and Tasha's Cauldron laid the groundwork for even more customization. And if you let player characters craft magic items then you might as well just log off mad about it.

It's all there on the page! (It's even more rules compliant if you don't restrict yourself to 5th edition. I can show you all SORTS of nonsense you can get away with if you turn back the clock!)

D&D Honor Among Thieves is more than a great movie! The diverse cast, the detailed production design, the writing that mixes high fantasy with the hi-jinks that INEVITABLY happen at the game table, and the unnecessarily accurate choreography make it a MASTERPIECE in adaptation!

[jinxedshapeshifter]

So I decided to look at the character sheets for Honor Among Thieves because a lot of people complain about Edgin not using bard magic.

BARDIC MAGIC IS SO SUBTLE IN PRACTICE.

It's not like a sorcerer's magic where you're announcing that you're using a spell. Bardic magic is basically enchantment subtly snuck into casual conversation or into a bard's music, especially with the specific spells Edgin knows:

IT IS NOT OBVIOUS WHEN A BARD USES MAGIC LMAO.

Yeah, during a campaign you're obviously going to know when the party's bard(s) use bardic magic because it requires you to announce it and make rolls, but in universe? NO. What bard is going to announce that they're casting spells meant to charm someone?? NO BARD WITH A DECENT INTELLIGENCE SCORE IS YOUR ANSWER.

Edgin VERY MUCH SO uses bardic magic, but bardic magic is so fucking subtle outside of the meta stuff that YOU WILL NOT REALIZE THE BARD IS USING MAGIC because THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT.

Edgin consistently encouraging the other members of the party? Bardic inspiration (and it FUCKING WORKS by the way).

Edgin noticing Holga's upset after she comes back from grabbing some stuff from her ex and proceeding to play his lute and sing a little song? I've seen some people suggest that he could've been using Calm Emotions there.

Xenk hearing what Edgin was telling Holga despite the distance Edgin was behind him and how quiet he was being? Not sure how likely it is, but according to the player handbook Message doesn't require concentration so maybe he was accidentally casting Message there (which would be really funny and also make Xenk's smug smile after Edgin says "I hate you" even funnier).

It's so subtle that he could've ABSOLUTELY used Charm Person or Suggestion at some point and WE WOULDN'T KNOW because of how those specific spells work.

The entire point of bardic magic is to be SUBTLE. Honor Among Thieves NAILS THIS. Not just in the sense that it would make Edgin an incredibly effective spy, but also because HE LITERALLY DOES USE MAGIC DURING THE MOVIE ASJGDFGDSFKJADSGFKJAS

[tea-earl-grey]

my brain has been operating at 10% power today but i have been deep in thought about what Star Trek characters' dnd classes would be and here's what i got (taking into account a character's career, skills, hobbies, and general vibe). i also tended to sub science skills in Star Trek for being some sort of magic user because otherwise this would not work.

*disclaimer. i like dnd, i've played dnd but i'm very far from being a dnd expert so please add your opinions if you have them!

TOS:

Kirk: fighter (specifically with a Battle Master archetype). i think there's a tendency for Captains to be paladins given that they're sworn to uphold Federation values and be a sort of holy warrior but Kirk is both a physical fighter and a tactical strategist as well. plus i think fighter is maintaining Kirk's "just some guy who happens to get into wild adventures" energy.

Spock: wizard. yes yes i know it's kinda stereotypical but Spock is such a classic wizard build i don't know what to tell you. i don't know a ton about the schools of magic but i could see Spock in school of transmutation maybe?

McCoy: wizard. honestly? i was stuck on McCoy because he's obviously a healer but sticking to the handbook classes, the only real healer option is cleric but i don't think McCoy could ever kick it with a god long enough to be a cleric (plus then by default every doctor would be a cleric). however i thought about the hilarity of McCoy and Spock as arguing wizards with extremely different philosophies around magic and couldn't get the image out of my head. (he would probably be school of abjuration)

Uhura: BARD. Uhura is such a bard. her job is communications officer and she's a singer? no other option.

Scotty: warlock. the only explanation for being that good of an engineer is that he made a pact with some supernatural eldritch entity.

Sulu: fighter. did you see how happy he was when he got a gun in Shore Leave? have you seen Sulu leap down the halls of the Enterprise with a fencing foil?

Chekov: gonna be honest and say that i only have memory of watching the first season of tos and the movies so i don't actually know Chekov that much but he has rogue vibes.

this is already so long but i'm having fun so i'm gonna go through the other shows later and tag them here: star trek dnd fusion

[stardust-swan]

How to Be a Real Life Mermaid 🌊🧜‍♀️🐚

The Look

🐚 Wear sea foam green, aquamarine, teal, ocean blue, soft grey, lilac, periwinkle, emerald, pale gold, white, deep blue, and turquoise

🐚 Pick flowy fabrics such as taffeta, chiffon, linen, silk, muslin, and sequined fabrics that resemble fish scales

🐚 Choose garments like maxi dresses, flowy skirts, bandeau off-the-shoulder tops, tank tops, soft scarves used as tops, shell clutches, woven bags, and pretty beaded sandals

🐚 Accessorise with jewellery made from pearls, sea glass, seashells, turquoise, aquamarine, opals, gold that resembles the sun glinting on the sea, and silver that reminds one of the metallic sheen of fish scales. Examples of accessories you can wear are bangles, anklets, layered necklaces, and pearl earrings

🐚 Makeup Ideas: eyeshadow in nudes like a sandy beach, greens and blues like the sea, or lavender and pink like a coral reef, shimmery highlight, dewy skin, coral pink lipstick, and seashell pink lipgloss

🐚 Hair Ideas: loose curls that look like ocean waves, fishtail plaits, green and blue hair dye, pearl hairclips, and sea salt hairspray. Brush your hair with a pretty wide-tooth comb.

The Lifestyle

🐚 Listen to songs such as Martha's Harbour by All About Eve, No Ordinary Love by Sade, Come Into the Water by Mitski, Pearl Diver by Mitski, Mariners Apartment Complex by Lana Del Rey, and Call of the Sea by Claudie Mackula (a longer mermaid playlist is here).

🐚 You can also listen to the sounds of the ocean, like whale song or waves crashing on the beach

🐚 Watch movies and TV shows such as Aquamarine, Splash, The Little Mermaid, H20: Just Add Water, Mr Peabody and the Mermaid, Miranda (1948), Mermaid Melody Pitchi Pitchi, Ponyo, Barbie in a Mermaid Tale, Barbie: The Pearl Princess, Neptune's Daughter (1914), A Daughter of the Gods (1916), Queen of the Sea (1918), Venus of the South Seas (1924), and Magic Island (1995)

🐚 Read books, fairytales, and poems such as The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen, The Mermaid Handbook by Carolyn Turgeon, Mermaids: The Myths, Legends, and Lore by Skye Alexander, A Daughter of the Sea by Amy Le Feuvre, Undine by Friedrich de la Motte Fouqué, The Mermaid by Alfred Lord Tennyson, and The Sea-Child by Katherine Mansfield

🐚 Mermaids are renowned for their beautiful siren song, so sing sweetly and brightly as often as you feel like it

🐚 Make your self smell like the ocean by using a deodorant like Old Spice Deep Sea, and perfumes like L by Lolita Lempicka, Acqua di Gioia, Salt Air by Skylar, Fleur de Corail by Lolita Lempicka, Seahorse by Zoologist, Nymphéas by Kismet Olfactive, Salina by Laborattorio Olfattivo, Alien Mirage by Mugler, Very Sexy Sea by Victoria's Secret, 20,000 Flowers Under the Sea by Tokyomilk, Nebbia Spessa by Filippo Sorcinelli, Tiziana Terenzi's Sea Stars Collection, Chant d'Extase by Nina Ricci, Sirena by Floris, Squid by Zoologist, and Orto Parisi Megamare (be aware that the latter two suit a dark siren who lures men to their deaths more than a sweet mermaid princess).

🐚 Make your home smell like the deep sea too, with sea salt scented diffusers and candles such as Yankee Candle Sea Minerals, Yankee Candle Seaside Woods, or Jo Malone Wood Sage and Sea Salt

🐚 Home Decor Ideas: silk sheets in blue, grey, and sea green, seashell jewellery trays, homemade terrariums, jellyfish embroidery, seashell candles, beaded curtains made from string and shells, paintings of maritime scenes, glass vases filled with layers of sand, seashells, and faux pearls, seashell shaped soap dishes, rattan furniture, woven baskets, treasure chests to keep your valuables in, mermaid figurines, a seashell or jellyfish mobile, a bowl filled with seashells, a glass bottle filled with ocean water or with a love letter inside to replicate a message in a bottle, mosaics with marine motifs like seahorses and shells, even an aquarium with colourful fish if you are able to care for them

🐚 Spend lots of time around near bodies of water, swimming in it to connect with your inner mermaid, or just walking in it and feeling the sand beneath your feet

🐚 Collect seashells and pretty pieces of sea glass thar wash up on the shore

🐚 Watch synchronised swimming, or even learn it yourself

🐚 Go diving, snorkeling, or mermaiding

🐚 Visit aquariums to see beautiful exotic fish and learn more about the ocean

🐚 Do your best to be sustainable; make the world a cleaner place for your fishy friends to live in. If possible, attend a beach clean-up group local to your area to help pick up litter

🐚 Carry a haircomb and hand mirror with you at all times (you can hotglue seashells and faux pearls on the back of the mirror to make it even more like a mermaid's treasure)

🐚 Watch documentaries and read books on the ocean, marine life, and nautical myths and legends

🐚 Enjoy snacking on seaweed soup, coconut water, and Guylian seashell chocolates

🐚 Take luxurious baths with dead sea salt, seaweed masks, small white bath bombs that resemble pearls, a coconut scented candle, and calming music

[joshuasumter]

My latest epic poster for Across the Netflix-Verse: Joshua Sumter Meets She-Ra and the Princesses of Power that takes homage to the Spider-Man: No Way Home poster.

SYNOPSIS: When creative and autistic Joshua Sumter teams up with orphan-turned-heroine/warrior princess Adora, Etheria will never be the same! But together, they just might save the universe. Think you know the story of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power? Well, think again because Etheria (and the Netflix-Verse) will never be the same as Joshua Sumter stars (and returns) in his latest self-insert, Isekai-turned-multiversal, retelling epic that not only flips the script on the hit animated reboot from DreamWorks and Netflix by ND Stevenson to reimagine and change the events of the show...but also spans across the wild, the wacky, the scary, the magical, the mythical, and sometimes very mature worlds and universes of the Netflix-verse, a multiverse featuring your fan-favorite Netflix shows and movies. Based on the hit animated She-Ra and the Princesses of Power series and in the tradition of Space Jam (1996), it's an Isekai-turned-multiversal, dimension-spanning epic that reimagines the narrative of the show -- with the inclusion of Joshua Sumter as an unlikely, live-action hero who finds himself on a strange, animated world and beyond that is familiar but slightly changed.

Life was carefree for creative and autistic Joshua Sumter (That would be me) of Earth (Our universe, the real world) as he was enjoying another typical yet relaxing day and cozy life eating food, reading media tie-in books and comic books, and writing fanfics. Everything was perfectly normal...that is, until he lands smack-dab into the war-torn planet that is oddly familiar but yet slightly changed. It is the planet of Etheria, the world and universe of the hit animated reboot series from Netflix and DreamWorks She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, where an ongoing, full-blown war ensues and rages on between the princess-led Rebellion that wants to maintain peace and harmony for all of Etheria and the dreaded Horde that wants to conquer the planet in the name of its leader, Hordak.

At first, Joshua believes under the impression that everything going on is all just a dream of himself being in a reinterpretation of the rebooted TV series from the 80s as a full-fledged guest star, taking the first steps of his very own Isekai adventure when he bumps into Adora, Glimmer, and Bow, hangs out with them, and unknowingly accepting the full invitation to join in on the fray as a feature of his dream (all the way from Season 1 to the Battle of Bright Moon). But Joshua's enthusiasm falls flat when he quickly gets wrapped up in some very serious stuff during that experience, letting his newly found zany antics and madcap-style wits guide his ideas and actions enough to make Joshua fully consider the oddest possibility...that this ISN'T a dream after all.

Now forced into a whole, new universe and surrounded by characters he now considers his new Etherian pals and being completely aware that he's starring in his very own self-insert retelling of the animated show while helping Adora, Glimmer, Bow, and more allies like Perfuma, Mermista, Frosta, Sea Hawk, Spinnerella, and Netossa in the fight against the Horde, Joshua decides to flip the script on the She-Ra and the Princesses of Power series to make some changes around here his own way by reimaging and changing events of the show that'll help turn things around for the future of Etheria and Adora's destiny...sort of.

As Joshua continues to influence the characters with his twisted action makajalaka of awesomeness in the form of a hard-hitting baseball bat that acts as his holy-sword-like weapon, his sense of imagination, his Official Handbook-level knowledge and more while imagining his fights in the style of the Persona 4 Arena games, Adora and her friends can't help wonder about what they make of him and his bizarre, other-worldly perspective.

Along the way, Joshua later gets into numerous comedic adventures across the Netflix-Verse, a shared crossover multiverse of worlds and universes based on and inspired by your favorite Netflix shows and movies. But when things in Etheria got a little too serious and with the help of the corporeal, ethereal Emblem spirit of the previous She-Ra, Mara, along with the animated worlds of the Netflix-Verse, will Joshua be able to beat the odds by letting loose the looniness and wreaking some hilarious mayhem in the process to help his new Etherian pals Adora, Glimmer, Bow, the Princess Alliance, and the Rebellion out of a real jam by saving the world his own way from a much, bigger threat than the Horde?

Based on and inspired by the She-Ra and the Princesses of Power series by ND Stevenson and featuring the worlds of your favorite Netflix shows and movies such as The Cuphead Show, Green Eggs and Ham, The Dragon Prince, Tiger & Bunny, We Can Be Heroes, Lego Elves: Secrets of Elvendale, The Sea Beast, Maya and the Three, Nimona, Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous, Dragon Age: Absolution and much more, be prepared for a block-busting, hard-partying, mind-blowing, world-hopping, fourth-wall-breaking, live-action/animation mayhem in this self-inserting tale that spans both our world and theirs. DISCLAIMER: In the tradition and style of Space Jam (1996) meets Epic (2013), the Kingdom Hearts series, Gwenpool, and other Isekai tropes, Across the Netflix-Verse: Joshua Sumter Meets She-Ra and the Princesses of Power basically reimagines and changes the narrative of the show (Seasons 1-5), but with the inclusion of, yours truly, Joshua Sumter, and new twists and different outcomes inspired by some of the She-Ra and the Princess of Power fan fictions than the ones in the actual show for "anyone who wants to enjoy an entirely, different story with some few changes".

The Netflix-Verse, as the name implies, is a shared multiverse of worlds and universes that are mostly based on, inspired by, and from your favorite Netflix shows and movies in the tradition of Powerpuff Girls: Super Smash-Up!, Sonic Prime, Space Jam: A New Legacy, and the Kingdom Hearts series. The main hub of the Netflix-Verse is a vast expanse of space between that resembles Netflix's home menu, composed and surrounded by posters that served as gateways to these worlds. From the wild, the wacky, the scary to the magical, the mythical, the epic and sometimes very mature, it's a dimension-spanning epic into these Netflix-based worlds.

[an-aura-about-you]

are we ready for another chapter of Handbook for Mortals?

no but we're gonna do it anyway.

getting to Chapter 17:

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade was at death's door and laid out on her childhood bed, but nobody seems overly fussed about that because instead of actually trying to help her we're all gonna listen to Dela tell the story of how she and Charles honked at each other from across the circus and agreed to make an insufferable clown baby.

Chapter 17: The Lovers

-Zade tells us in the narration that her mother's storytelling is worthy of Spielberg. can we get any more blatant about who she'd want directing the movie?

-the year we get for when Zade's parents properly meet is 1977, FINALLY giving us something that resembles a timeline. idk if we're actually gonna find out when they bone, but if they do indeed do the horizontal mambo at some point before 1977 ends, then the latest possible time that Scheherazade could reasonably be born would be the autumn of 1978.

if Zade is 25ish, given the weeks upon weeks she's spent in Vegas going by with no mention of a birthday, the most reasonable year for this book to be set is 2004 with the assumption that Zade's birthday is coming up soon at this point.

I'm not even sure what to make of that.

-another tally point for casual use of the g-slur.

-Dela is described as a "gorgeous young girl" in the story she's telling us. like ok, glad to know where Zade gets the bragging.

-also Dela is just 18, so we're invoking Barely Legal here.

-the narration refers to Charles as a boy, but they just said he's 20. that's a full grown man. a young one, but still.

-ok so this is weird. one paragraph already referred to him as Charles, but the paragraph after it has a bit that says, "while the boy who was known as Charles." why is that here? why aren't we just calling him Charles at this point?

-Dela is thinking about how she doesn't like Charles and Charles is trying to figure out how to charm her since all the girls normally fawn over him. so far, their relationship appears to be framed as some kind of conquest.

-I'm frustrated that Sarem used the same metaphor I've used in one of my fics, though she doesn't go the same way with it as I did. Dela describes her ability to see the future like being in a house and looking through a window and how she would go insane if she tried to see everything. I'm actually not sure what she's getting at with the window. does she mean that it's a narrow scope? because it's also possible to see what's going on by going outside. the whole reason this came up is because Charles teased that she should know why he's come to see her since she can tell the future, but she's trying to explain to him that she's not looking at every single bit of the future.

-Charles thinks Dela's a con-artist and is not impressed with her cold reading skills so far.

-until she manages to tell him what he's been having nightmares about, something he hasn't told anyone about, so he's now on board believing she might be the real deal.

-Dela about her tarot cards: "They don't bite, I promise. I may, but they don't."

suddenly I'm glad Sarem skipped over all the flirting between Zade and the boys.

-wait now Charles is 21? there hasn't been a time jump, we're still in the same scene we've been in!

-they are also dragging this joke out as if it's peak flirting. maybe a year HAS passed. reading that paragraph has certainly aged me.

-why is Zade thinking about her mother having a sultry voice?

oh yeah, I didn't mention this before, but back in the big magic illusion, Zade takes the time to mention in the narration that the young man in the trick looked the way Charles did as a teenager. and if you remember, the young man kissed her at one point.

Zade has weird incestuous feelings about her parents confirmed.

-apparently all Charles needs to do to impress Dela is show off his Sick Shuffling Skillz.

-Zade. why did we need to read about your dad looking down your mom's shirt?

why did you WANT to look over that memory in enough detail to include it?

all I can think of is the memory reel in Sasha's mind in Psychonauts when we see him using his psychic powers to see his father's memories of his mother, who died in his infancy. he accidentally stumbles upon a moment like this and obviously recoils upon seeing it.

-Dela, like Zade, wears clothes that hug her "in all the right places."

-for some reason, Dela is flattered that Charles was staring at her boobs. I guess we know what Sarem's formula for Twoo Luv is and that's being desired.

-ok so here's the dealio: Charles has been having nightmares about getting shot, and the reason why is he fucked his assistant Betty and didn't think anything about it but she thought they were gonna be together- HEY WAIT! THIS IS JUST WHAT CLARA DID TO MAC! only this time we're supposed to sympathize with Charles instead of Betty even though she's in the role Mac was in because obviously Betty is crazy and she's gonna try to shoot Charles.

-ok, Sarem actually gets points for Charles having this incredibly relatable reaction to finding out Betty's been watching him sleep: a good sarcastic, "That's not creepy at all."

-oh and the thing that's tipped Betty over the edge/the reason why she's gonna shoot him soon is Charles slept with another girl recently and she's jealous af. Charles doesn't even remember who else he slept with at first.

-why is Charles rating his sexual partners in front of Dela?

-Dela says Betty's gonna switch out the shells in the gun for a trick Charles does, but that's not how prop guns work. they are not built for real bullets. Betty would have to swap out the gun itself for this to work.

-Dela apparently sees something when she and Charles hold hands at the end of her little plan for how he'll survive getting shot, but she won't tell him what. I think it's her knowing they're gonna bang and have Zade.

and the chapter ends with Charles kissing Dela's hand on his way out, which made her shiver like a bunch. yeah, she knows they're gonna bang, calling it here.

this bit of the story isn't done, by the way. the flashback is, but Dela and Charles are gonna tell us how things worked out. man, I wonder if Charles is gonna die.

for that matter, I wonder if Zade, who has still been narrating these chapters, is gonna die.

[boonandbeacon]

Thoughts on D&D Movie

+ It was fun!  Very entertaining, occasionally awesome.  My brain says 7/10 but my heart says 8/10 given what it is.

++ ACTION.  Every fight was fantastic. ++ SETS.  Ditto on every location. + Jokes.  There were jokes and people will complain about “Marvel humor,” but it all worked for me.  Maybe because every joke sounded like someone at the table would have their character say. + There’s a bit with a bird person that is one of the funniest scenes I’ve ever seen play out. + On that note, I think that’s why most of the movie works.  Without ever going totally 4th-wall-breaking meta, the story is totally believable as a D&D adventure played by real humans. - - Very disappointed by the fantasy racism being accepted as the norm for fantasy.  Sigh. - - I feel like the writers only got through the main ideas of the player’s handbook and called it a day.  Like, “oh, the Druid can Wild Shape?  Done.  That’s what she’ll always do.  Just that.”  “The Bard is a smarmy lute man?  Cool.  He will also hit people with lute.”  like they never heard of vicious mockery.  What a great scene and funny audience wink that would have been??? + There was one emotional moment where I immediately knew exactly what would happen, but as it was happening it got me anyway.  Very effective, + While not a groundbreaking Hollywood script, I could very much see the story beats being used as a fine D&D adventure. -+ The acting was okay.  V disappointed Sophia Lillis didn’t get more to do.  Chris did good work.  Michelle Rodriguez slayed, obviously. + COSTUMES were neat. - Music was serviceable.  Nothing memorable. -+ I don’t know what I’m talking about with camera-things but there were a few really cool shots, particularly when a specific magic item was used. - Why is Hasbro/Wizards still pushing Factions?  Heartfelt mentions of Harpers and Emerald Enclave got tiring for me real quick. -+ I can’t say the same for all the “lore” references.  Maybe others will find it tedious but I didn’t think they overstayed their welcome. + Spells and Magic Items and Weapons. + GOOD PALADIN. - + I felt bad for the dragon.

[rmoonstoner]

So Strange

***

Summary:

Stephen learns magic. It's mostly the same as how he did so in the movies, with slight changes. No major warnings I suppose.

***

Chapter 2 - LIT

***

The first week for Stephen was slow and boring. He was given a run down of the place, handed a map, a ratty scroll that was essentially a handbook of rules to follow, then given a set of plain cream colored robes. He was shown to a small room with a ratty mat for a bed, but he didn't care. It was quiet, safe, and his. He had memorized the map and took note of where everything was. He read through the scroll and smiled when he could find many loopholes he could abuse at a later time. He had an entire week to adjust to the place.

***

The second week was a bit more interesting. He was given a brass ring and told it was an essential tool. He was told that it amplified any magic used through it, and it could open portals anywhere in the Multiverse. Unfortunately he also sucked at this as well. While other students were getting the hang of it the first week, he proved he couldn't grasp the concept of how to open a portal.

He tried hard everyday, with him waking up at the crack of dawn to practice for the entire week, with absolutely no results. He couldn't even get a single spark to appear and he was disappointed in himself. He hadn't worked on the guitar all week because of this.

***

The week after that, Stephen decided to take up the guitar again. He did it in an effort to give himself time to cool down from his failure to learn how to use the ring. At first he stayed in his room, only coming out to eat and shower, but soon after, he began asking around if they had any sheet music for him to look at. They were in the grand library.

Unfortunately though, he wasn't allowed into the library yet. He had to pass the ring test first, and that frustrated him to no end. Instead of finding sheet music, he started gathering papers, pens, and a ruler. His plan was to make his own music to pass the time.

Later he moved to different areas of the temple, stealing himself away into any secluded place he remembered on the map. He would practice his fret work in private, hoping no one could see or hear his struggling and general bastardization of the guitar. He would find spots that had views of the outside when it was raining, or go out into the courtyards when the weather permitted it.

Stephen became more and more comfortable with using the guitar, and by the end of the week, he was able move his fingers more gracefully. The songs didn't sound any better to him, but his fingers were starting to cooperate.

***

On the following Sunday, Mordo and another master had found Stephen outside on the ground, sitting against a tree as he was playing. Stephen had been blissfully unaware of their presence as he fumbled and scratched the chords and the wooden surface.

He still sounded awful, but he was improving, bit by bit.

"Ah! Hello, Stephen. I see you're still making use of the gift that Master Yao gave you." Wong smiled as Stephen suddenly stopped playing at the sound of his voice.

Stephen went beet red as he noticed the other man standing beside Wong. He scrambled to put the guitar away so he could show them the respect they deserved with a customary bow, but Wong reached out and gently placed his hand on the instrument.

"No. Stay there. Keep it out. My friend wanted to find out who was playing Pink Floyd songs." Wong said with a sly grin.

Stephen felt embarrassed and he looked down at the wooden guitar. He could feel the blush across his cheeks, the color bleeding through to the tips of his ears.

"Yeah, uh… That was me. I know I sound like a child with a toy ukulele. Sorry I bothered you-"

"No, no! I think it's refreshing to hear someone actually trying. I hear you haven't given up." The other man beamed at him.

"I… Thank you..?" Stephen stared at him as if he were asking the man's name. He assumed he was a master, like Wong was, given the man's attire.

"Oh, my apologies. My name is Master Hamir."

"Master Hamir? But his name is Hamir as well?" Stephen pointed to Wong with a raised brow.

"Oh, haha. Yes. This is my father." Wong said with a grin as he patted the older gentleman on the shoulder 

"Oh! Well it's nice to meet you, Mr. Wong… Wait… Master Hamir." Stephen said with a slightly confused face as he tried to get the title and names right. Master Hamir gave him a smile.

"It's alright, young man. Since I am already a master and had chosen Hamir to be known by, my son had to take the family name." Hamir offered his right hand for Stephen to shake and he took it.

"Please, can you play me a song? I liked the one you were just playing." Hamir smiled and took a step back to give Stephen some space.

Stephen frowned and looked at the guitar, then up at Hamir. He was still pretty bad at playing.

"Uh… Okay, but it's nothing like the song I am trying to play."

"You were trying to play Freebird. Please, go on. Try again."

And Stephen did try again. Mostly because he was very self conscious, he had trouble getting his hands to cooperate. He was hitting the wrong chords, accidentally shoving his fingers between the strings, and his hands went stiff with stage fright. He tried a few times to get the correct chords, chords he had memorized down to a T, but his damned hands…

"Ah, fuck! I can't. My hands won't let me. I'll never be able to get any better." Stephen groaned in complaint as he dropped the instrument onto his lap and cupped his face with his shaking hands.

"Sure you can. With a little practice-"

"My hands are broken! No one can fix them. Do you know how many times I've tried to get the ring to work? If I can not even wave my hands around and move my fingers in the required way for that, how the hell will they work well enough to play Hot Cross Buns?" Stephen sighed and he ran his hand through his hair and gripped his messy locks.

Hamir chuckled and sat down in front of Stephen. He reached out for the guitar and gave him a silent look asking to borrow it. Stephen shrugged and passed it over, then Hamir set it down on his lap.

"Do you play?" Stephen asked and he was met with a nod.

"Yes. I've been playing for years, since I was a small lad."

"My father is very good, Stephen." Wong said with a large grin. Stephen shrugged and leaned back.

"Sure. Be my guest." Stephen huffed in frustration.

He watched Hamir adjust himself and position the guitar with one hand.

The wrong hand. 

"Forgive me, Stephen, but I am a lefty. I have to switch hands, but it should still work nicely."

Stephen was a little confused. He was even more confused as to why the man had his other hand firmly inside his pocket the entire time, that is, until he pulled it from his pocket.

Which promptly revealed that there wasn't another hand.

It was a stump.

Stephen gawked as Hamir began to play. The stump by the strings wasn't even holding the guitar. There seemed to be a buffer of air there, almost as if there was an unseen hand hiding between dimensions. Stephen could see the ghostly outline of an entire hand, fingers, nails, knuckles, all silvery and barely there. The strings moved flawlessly. The tune of some traditional temple music played as Hamir tapped his foot on the ground and hummed softly to the chords.

Stephen was enraptured as he moved forward in his seat. His eyes squinted at Hamir's phantom appendage playing. Looking closer, he could see the hand more clearly.

"That's his astral hand, you know." Wong suddenly said.

Stephen raised a brow and looked at Wong, then back at the glowing image of Hamir's hand.

Is this one of the secrets these sorcerers had? Using a magical energy to replace body parts?

Almost as if Wong was reading his mind, he spoke up again.

"Just so that you know, you can learn how to do this as well. Your astral form is what you can make of it. If you're missing a body part, you can make it appear in your astral form, like my father did here."

"Can he..? You know..?"

"Yes, he can use his Sling ring. He can cast spells. All with only one hand."

The gears began to turn in Stephen's head. If Hamir could do this, while missing a whole hand, then there was no reason that Stephen couldn't succeed at this as well.

Magic was aiding Hamir in what Stephen thought was impossible, and now he was starting to truly believe in the impossible.

***

A few weeks went by, and Stephen blossomed, though he wouldn't believe it.

Every morning he would wake up at the crack of dawn, just when the sun hit his window. He would get ready for the day and then go for a run outside, followed by exercising every part of his body. After, he would practice his ring, now slowly making sparks, which was a big improvement from before.

During breakfast, Stephen would work on his hands and fingers with simple strength training techniques. Sometimes he would use multiple rubber bands, other times, he would stretch and bend them to the point of nearly crying, all while reading online news about what was happening in his home country on one of the devices Mordo had let him borrow.

After lunch, he would go on to a martial arts class and learn how to defend himself. He usually took three different forms a day, and it distracted him from his depression. It was a great way to pass the time until dinner. If he had more spare time before the meal, he would again work on the ring.

He would have a shower, then he'd steal himself away into the library waiting room to read with the guitar. Wong was nice enough to let him practice his string work, so long as Stephen stayed at the farthest most edge of the shelves so that Wong could still hear his iPod. He was technically not allowed in the library yet, but Master Yao had agreed to let him be there so long as someone else was.

Stephen would sit in the corner with a new book every day that Wong would bring him. While he read, he would play the guitar. All he wanted to do was to learn the secrets of Astral magic. He knew he could speed up his recovery if he could master it. He could play the guitar well enough to his liking, and he also knew he could make great leaps and bounds with learning the Mystic Arts if he could just grasp how to do that.

Too bad he still couldn't play for shit, and he still couldn't open a fucking portal to save his life.

***

Another week had passed, and Stephen was now playing the guitar at a relatively decent level. He was able to play slow songs without messing up, but he could only play about three songs perfectly, before his hands would cramp up and he'd miss a few chords.

Wong started to notice the music was getting much better, much faster. He gave excuses to Stephen about needing to be closer to him. Resetting books into their proper areas, dusting the shelves, sweeping the floors. He didn't wish to ask Stephen to do any of these things, because he was worried Stephen would stop practicing if he was distracted.

When Stephen tried to be courteous and move away from Wong, as per his original request, Wong would tell him it was fine, pop his headphones in, and go about his duties as he secretly listened to the vast improvement of the music, his iPod not even on.

Eventually Wong would report back to Master Yao, informing her of how Stephen was doing. She was pleased and planned the next step in Stephen's recovery.

***

Yet another week flew by, and Stephen was still improving his music. He was very self conscious about playing in front of anyone but Wong and his father.

On this particular night, Hamir had come by and requested to play a musical game with Stephen. The game in question was guessing songs, one of Stephen's favorites, but there was a twist. They would be playing the music themselves, each taking turns on playing a song, while the other took a guess on what it was. A round of five songs each. The only catches were no breaks, and they had to wear their Sling rings.

Stephen was hesitant, though excited all the same. Wearing the Sling ring while playing wasn't anything new to Stephen  as he was using it as a guitar pick whenever possible.

There was a small bit of pride in him when Hamir complimented his progress. It was enough to bloom into determination to show the man he was truly trying his best.

Hamir went first, playing a beautiful rendition of Colors of the Wind from the Pocahontas.

Stephen made a weird face and his brain thought hard. His eyes went wide and he guessed it after ten seconds of Hamir playing. Hamir chuckled and it was Stephen's turn.

Stephen drummed his fingers against the guitar as he thought about what to play. He grinned when an idea hit him and he began to play Paradise City by Guns and Roses.

It only took fifteen seconds for Hamir to figure it out, but he kept quiet for thirty seconds, before guessing. He wanted to actually hear how well Stephen had improved.

Stephen was delighted, and his confidence grew a little bit more.

Hamir played You're Gonna Go Far Kid, by the Offspring. It took Stephen about eighteen seconds to guess it correctly. He was surprised at the song choices Hamir was choosing. First a classic Disney song, now the Offspring?

Stephen took his second turn, this time choosing to play Magic Man, by Heart. This time Hamir was a little baffled. Hearing only the guitar part was hard to tell which song it was, but he eventually guessed at the minute mark.

"You're doing quiet well, young man. You're playing far better than what Wong can do." Hamir suddenly praised him, while in the same breath, revealing that Wong couldn't play for shit.

Stephen's jaw dropped. He didn't believe Hamir at all, yet Wong sighed and took the guitar to show him.

Wong was terrible. So terrible, he broke one of the strings and apologized.

"See? He's awful. Now you. You're playing at a high school band level. If you keep this up, you're going to sound just as good at the Rolling Stones." Hamir suggested as he got the guitar ready and fixed the broken string.

He started up a song, the notes coming out light and jovial. He slapped the guitar in between the notes like a drum, and Stephen took note of the clever use of the body of the guitar. At ten seconds, he was able to guess that it was No Rain, by Blind Melon.

Stephen went again, playing out a more difficult to play song. He was trying to make sure he could play them well enough to be guessed, but obscure enough that maybe Hamir hadn't heard it before.

"Oh, that one is easy. Radioactive, by Imagine Dragons." Hamir said with a grin. 

"Yeap. You are good at this game."

"You mean to say that I don't look like the type to know these songs, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah."

Hamir chuckled and picked the guitar up once more. He played out a quick tune, this time playing Do You Believe in Life After Love, by Cher. Stephen laughed and guessed it in under twenty seconds.

The next song Stephen wanted to play was another one of his favorites, but now his fingers were getting stiff, and his wrist was sore. This was the second to last song for him, and he wanted to be able to last until the next song. With a quick cracking of his knuckles, Stephen strummed out the next song. Black Hole Sun, by Evan Konrad.

Hamir was stumped for a bit, and then his eyes brightened as he guessed the song.

Finally it was Hamir's last turn. He quickly belted out the tune for the Goldfish commercial and Stephen laughed as he guessed it.

That just left one last song, and it was Stephen's turn. His hands hurt and his joints were swollen. He hadn't missed a note yet, but he hadn't really noticed.

With a huff and another round of vigorous knuckle popping action, Stephen took up the guitar one last time and began to play.

Stephen had his eyes closed as he flicked and strummed the strings. He was using the shell of the guitar every so often as a makeshift drum, slapping his fingers against the worn wood every so often. As he played, he thought about how badly he wanted to learn the guitar, to play beautifully. He thought about how he wanted to be able to cast a simple portal into existence. He wished to be able to be happy again. He wanted to go home, back to his luxurious penthouse that he had no idea would even be there when he got back, as he had put it up for sale before he had left.

Hamir listened and nodded his head. He could tell what song it was, but just as he was about to guess, he saw something flicker behind Stephen.

Sparks flashed behind Stephen. At first it almost looked like someone was waving sparklers around and then once Stephen hit the tempo change, a full burst of a portal sparked to life. The sparks crackled and moved to the rhythm of the music, creating a perfectly formed portal.

The image on the other end of the portal was very comical. There stood a confused looking realtor and her two clients standing inside of Stephen's empty penthouse. The three of them were staring at Hamir and Wong, while Stephen had his back to them, still playing.

"Is that a skinny white man, playing People Are Strange to two monks?" The shortest woman asked the realtor. She was wearing a beautiful wrap dress, while her companion was in a tailored suit. Her partner leaned down, and tilted her head, her earrings clinking as she took a deep breath.

"Honey, if this place comes with a bunch of weirdly dressed men, we don't want it. I've got enough of those back at my studio." The taller woman sassed the Barbie look a like realtor as she tugged on her girlfriend's arm, motioning for them to leave.

"I dunno, Ray. The guy playing isn't so bad. He's certainly better than that punky looking Spider-Man that came in last week for a recording. Remember how that guy smashed his guitar all over the speakers when he was done?"

"That's fair, but I wouldn't sign this guy on. He needs more work, and looking like that, he's so plain. He needs a gimmick or something. At least Spider-Punk has the whole heavy metal Spider-Man look. This guy looks like he's about ready to go teach a sermon at a Buddhist band camp."

"Ray! You can't just say things like that!" And that was the moment Stephen heard the people behind him. 

It was at that point, that Stephen knew, he fucked up. His face went pink, and he slowly turned to look at who was talking behind him. His jaw dropped, and his hands stopped playing. The moment he did, the portal closed up.

"Well that was amazing. You've stunned me." Hamir said as he slapped his knee with a laugh.

Stephen turned to look at him, then at Wong, then back to the empty spot the portal once was. He then looked down at the guitar, then back at the two men who were surprised, but smiling.

"Did you do that?" Stephen asked and Hamir shook his head. Before he could ask Wong, he too, shook his head.

"Then who-?" They both pointed at him.

"Me? No. Nooo. Not possible. I wasn't doing the correct hand motions. I was playing this, and-"

"Magic isn't always uniform and predictable, my boy. Sometimes it works in ways that even us masters don't quite understand." Hamir grinned and held up his stump.

"But why did the portal open up to my old home? It's on the market, and the lady in pink is my realtor."

"Because you're home sick. You desperately want your old life back, so the portal opened in a place you held dear to your heart."

Stephen was relieved it didn't open up into the hospital he used to work at, but at the same time, he was confused as to why it didn't. Was work not his home, like he once thought?

"And this… This thing I just did…" Stephen asked and Hamir laughed.

"I asked the magic to help me, and this is how it chose to do so. You have asked magic to help you, and it has decided to gift you with a musical blessing. You're obviously better with the guitar as a focus, then the ring, and I saw how you used the ring as a pick. Perhaps use both, together, and try to replicate that again. It should work on any guitar. The one you have isn't special. It was left here long ago, and Master Yao thought you should have it. Feel free to use magic and change its appearence. Or by hand." Hamir said as he stood up and hung the guitar on his shoulder.

Stephen nodded and looked back down at the guitar. When he looked back up, both Wong and his father had vanished.

"Fuck. I hate it when they do that." Stephen muttered to himself, but deep down, he knew he would abuse the hell out of that ability if he had it.

He practiced more that night. He found that he could successfully and consistently open a portal while playing the guitar, using the ring as a pick, but when he tried with only the ring, only small sparks would appear. Stephen was frustrated that he couldn't just use the ring, because having to whip out the bulky guitar in a fight would cost him valuable time.

Not that he'd want to get into a fight anyway, but it would be nice to master the ring by itself to be able to make a quick getaway.

Although, smashing someone's head in with a guitar would be pretty metal, being able to repair the thing with magic after would be even better. The drive to master both was maddening for him.

It was around midnight when Stephen finally noticed the time. He groaned when he realized the next day held an early meeting with Yao. He wasn't prepared for it at all.

***

"So. Tell me, Stephen… What is felonwort?"

"Felonwort. It is known as Bittersweet Nightshade, or Solanum Dulcamara."

"What do the flowers look like?"

"The flower has 5 petals in violet and blue hues. It has a thick yellow center. The fruit produced from the flowers is usually green to start, and then typically goes to an orange and a orange tinged red when fully ripened."

"Perfect. Now, please tell me what we use it for."

"Uh… We? Do you mean its medical uses or..?"

"Yes, Stephen, what are its medical uses."

"Oh, yes. I know this. The stem is useful for skin conditions and problems with the lungs. It's best harvested before leaves grow on it, or after they fall off. It is made into tinctures, and can be put in teas, but that's avoided due to the poisonous nature of the plant. Leaves are for helping with tumors and warts. The fruit is used for the joints and lungs as well. And in North America, the Indigenous used it for fevers and-"

"Stephen. You could have just said it's used for skin conditions, lung illnesses, tumors, warts, joints, and fevers. You need to let go of this need to show off your intelligence. You're also giving out too much information that I did not ask for. This isn't a university or a hospital. Less is more."

Stephen took a deep breath in through his nose as he clenched his fists behind his back and nodded. He was trying to force his annoyance away, actively trying to stop being so… 

Much, so to speak 

"Now that you have told me about the various plants you've been reading about in our library, comparing them to your memory of your western books, can you tell me if you've been at least taking advantage of the medicine area we have?" She asked and Stephen nodded.

"Yes. It's been helping my hands. I've yet to try a few things." Stephen flexed his hands and cracked his knuckles.

"Good. Next, I would like you to use the ring and make a portal for me." Master Yao requested and motioned to the empty spot in front of Stephen.

Stephen could feel himself clam up. His hands suddenly ached and he began to sweat nervously. He glanced at the spot, then closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply and brought his hands up. With a slow exhale, he opened his eyes and concentrated on opening a portal as he moved his hands.

While Master Yao quietly watched, Stephen struggled with his concentration. His hands had nothing to hold on to, and were shaking badly with nothing to focus on. Every joint, ligament, muscle, and bone ached as his nerves were set on fire.

He could feel the magic there, a small warmth hinting that he could do better.

Beads of sweat slowly formed on his brow as he grunted and grit his teeth. He squinted at the empty spot he was trying to summon the rip in dimensions, and his confidence slowly diminished when only a few sparks coughed to life, before quickly snuffing themselves out with the help of the gentle breeze.

Everything was distracting him. Even the things he had learned in his lessons that were meant to calm him down weren't working. The sounds of nature were taunting him, making him lose his focus.

Leaves rustled and scratched each other. Branches groaned and cracked as the wind brushed past their forms. The sounds of the fountain were making him think about the words of Master Yao. Surrender to the flow and current of magic, yet all he could do was sink into place. He tried to envision the portal. He tried to think about how he felt when they appeared while playing the guitar.

Oh lords above and below, and in-between, he tried.

"I can't. We've been here for fifteen minutes already. I just can't do it. I can't-"

"Stephen. Take a deep breath, relax." Master Yao cooed as she brought her hand up and gently placed it on his shoulder.

"I am trying to relax. I just can't get this right." Stephen huffed as he hung his head in shame.

"Now, now… Perhaps we shall try it a different way. I saw you brought your guitar. Please, sit down, relax, and play me a song." Master Yao suggested.

In an instant, the guitar in question was in Stephen's hands and he found himself awkwardly standing there. He glanced around, then at the instrument, then he looked at Yao.

"So, uh… Did you want me to play a particular song?" Stephen asked as he rubbed the back of his neck. Master Yao smiled and turned to sit down on a stone bench, waiting expectantly. 

Stephen took a deep breath and adjusted the guitar strap and got comfortable. He tried to calm his racing heart by thinking about his sister, hearing her words of encouragement. He then started to crack each and every joint and knuckle he had in his hands and wrists, followed by nervously shifting from one foot to the other. The Ancient One merely sat there quietly, watching, waiting.

"Well, um, if you won't pick a song, I am just going to play one I am comfortable with, then." Stephen declared, to which Master Yao just nodded with that half smile and slight twinkle in her eye.

"Erm, okay then." He gave a shrug and again shifted on his feet while getting the guitar into a proper hold.

He hummed for a moment, the embarrassment lingering thickly in the air. His fingers plucked and strummed to warm up and figure out the proper placement of his finger tips. Soon he set forth into the song, pulling the strings for a short while.

He was attempting to play Paint It Black, by the Rolling Stones. Stephen thought it was fitting, since just recently, he had been told he could achieve that band's greatness with time and practice. The song also touched his heart and soul, making him feel exceptionally emotional as he played. He related to it, and it was always a comfort song when he was upset or depressed. Lord knows hebhad played it thousands of times in his life. He was even singing along, hoping that adding his voice would make the song slightly better.

Soon his foot was competing with the constant added slap of his palms to the sides of the guitar. He had been working on trying not to wince everytime he whacked the hard surface with his sore fingers. It didn't hurt nearly as much as it used to, and he was at the point where he could ignore the constant stinging sensation. He was so focused on trying to play, he didn't even think about opening a viable portal.

Yet, as his voice continued to spew out the lyrics to keep in time with the song, his fingers started to move more quickly. The pain was fading out to a dull throb that gave way to a pleasing stretch.

The doctor was completely unaware that he had opened a roving portal, one that was hovering right over New York's beach line. It was a perfect bird's eye view, and the portal was moving in accordance to the rhythm. The view moved on, showing rows and rows of cars on either side of a thick road. 

The people on the streets stopped to look up at the curious looking thing in the sky as it moved steadily away. The sparks almosted pulsed to the beat as Stephen played.

The scenery suddenly switched to a building, a tall and proud hospital. It was a major one, the exact same that Stephen used to work at. The large bright red doors opened and closed. A redheaded woman was inside, staring at the circle of magic. She slowly came out to stare at the sparks and the man playing in the center.

She squinted, looking at Stephen in wonder and awe, then her eyes flicked over to Master Yao, who gave her a pleasant grin and a wink. The woman looked back at Stephen and her eyes skimmed down to his hands, causing her to gasp. Even though she had tried to muffle herself, Stephen had heard her. His ears tweaked and his head whipped around to look at her as his hand promptly stilled.

The portal withered up and fizzled out of existence. The last thing Stephen saw, was Christine's shocked face, and a small group of his peers he hadn't seen in months. He sat there blinking in confusion, his eyes looking down at his guitar. Why did the portal take him there? He missed her, but he knew he missed his job more.

"Well done, Stephen! It seems as though you are capable of opening a portal. I am satisfied with your display of magic."

"But… I didn't use the ring-"

"Nonsense. You used the guitar as a focus. The ring is meant to be a focus. You simply linked them together, like the ring was an amplifier. I need you to practice more, so that in the future, you can use just the ring if need be. But, for now, you get to move on to the next level." Master Yao waved her hand and the scenery changed to that of the library.

"Now, you have my permission to take out the next level of books, should you so choose. I highly recommend the Book of Cagliostro and the Book of the Sun. If you can convince Wong, that is." Master Yao plucked up a few books that weren't the ones she had suggested and handed them to Stephen. One was about viewing orbs, another was a detailed description on how to access the Mirror Dimension.

That night Stephen read books until he fell asleep.

***

Note:

Chapter is named after the song, LIT, by Polyphia.

In the comics, Hamir is supposed to be Wong's dad. Yes, I know I already made his name Hamir. Yes, I know Hamir is the old man that is missing a hand in the movie. I made a mistake and forgot about him being a thing in the movie, so now he's just Wong's dad. Deal with it.

Yes, I know Stephen has issues bowing to others at this point in the movie, but his issues on being superior have been mostly squashed out of him by this point. He still thinks he is superior, but he's going to be more polite and respectful about it and hold his tongue.

The two ladies with the realtor that I imagined look like:

The tall woman in a suit is a black pop singer and producer. She is modeled after Ryme, from Pokémon Violet/Scarlet, while her girlfriend is short, and I pictured her to look like Nani from Lilo and Stitch. And of course, the realtor just looks exactly like a blonde Barbie.

Not proofread by anyone, but me, so there's probably mistakes.

Reminder that this story will eventually contain 18+ content and be Stephen x fem!reader

Tags:

None. Please let me know if you want to be.

[bergdg]

Rogue Subclasses in One D&D

A recent playtest document for One D&D featured changes and updates to the Rogue class, including one subclass for the full playtest experience. It got me thinking about what other subclasses we could see in the “One D&D Player’s Handbook,” as Jeremy Crawford Has revealed that the plan is to have 4 subclasses for each of the 12 base classes. So far, I’ve shared my thoughts on the Bard, Cleric and Ranger subclasses.

As with my previous thoughts, I think the main subclasses we will first see in One D&D will strive to offer different playstyles for each class.

Let’s take a look at the Rogue class. So far in fifth edition, there were 3 subclasses in the Player’s Handbook (PHB), 4 subclasses in Xanathar’s Guide to Everything (XGE), and 2 subclasses in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything (TCE). In the Expert playtest document, the Thief subclass was given as the first of the four.

After looking through the list (and some hard thinking), I think we will see the Arcane Trickster archetype from the PHB and the Mastermind and Swashbuckler archetypes from XGE. Below the line, I’ll share why I would pick those three over many other solid options.

Arcane Trickster

With a little touch of magic to spice it up, the Arcane Trickster uses enchantment and illusion to undertake their shenanigans. Mathilda uses her powers to play tricks on the adults in her life who mistreat her. Fred and George Weasley take magical pranking to whole new heights. And Loki is all about that little bit (or a lot) of mischief.

Like the Eldritch Knight for the Fighter, the Arcane Trickster plays an important role in providing a magic-based subclass option for a typically non-magical class, without multiclassing. Because of this, the Arcane Trickster is often highly ranked and is widely played. While there are many great rogue options, the Arcane Trickster is the one I am most optimistic on making it into the “Player’s Handbook” of One D&D.

Mastermind

The archetype of spies and schemers, Masterminds are at the center of any heist. As any D&D player will tell you, heists are a central part of the game – whether it’s busting a friend out of prison, sneaking into a dragon’s lair to steal a priceless artifact, or breaking into the local lord’s mansion to retrieve some important documents. For every job the Thief undertakes, there is someone behind the scenes providing the blueprints and making the plans. 

Mechanically, the Mastermind can fit into more of a support role, with the range of their Help ability increasing to 30 feet and their abilities to manipulate and misdirect. You could potentially merge some of the Inquisitive Rogue subclass features in with the Mastermind, as they both fit into the same flavor, albeit Inquisitive rogues are a little more about investigation instead of espionage.

Swashbuckler

One of my favorite movies of all time if The Princess Bride. And amongst the many fabulous moments within that film, one of the pinnacle moments is the sword fight scene on the top of the Cliffs of Insanity. The main character, Wesley, shows off exactly what a Swashbuckler is – finesse and flair in battle and an intelligent wit. There are many numerous examples across pop-culture: Zorro and Captain Jack Sparrow to name a few.

Mechanically, the Swashbuckler is a great way to play the rogue differently. Rather than being hidden in the shadows and snipping their enemies, they aren’t afraid to take their opponents head on. And with many of their abilities involving Charisma, Swashbucklers can often become the face of the party.

What are your thoughts? What three subclasses would you pick for the initial release of One D&D?

[sadie-wolfdawn]

13, 33, 34, 43 :)

13) answered here! :)

33) What’s their favorite movie or book?

in lore her favorite book is definitely a foraging encyclopedia relevant to jorvik- which is a cop out answer because its not real lol. I don't think sadie reads all that much, but I think she'd like Useless Magic by Florence Welch as well as the handbook for the ttrpg Wanderhome by Jay Dragon. movie wise- they definitely where a spirit kid. as an adult... maybe dnd honor amongst thieves? as a recent pick for them. I think they'd like dnd / ttrpgs in general as well as comedies in that realm. (lotr gets an honorary mention here too- thats a movie series but yanno)

34) answered here :)

43) If you had to compare them to one other fictional character, what character comes to mind?

oh man this is so hard. looks wise, definitely Shadowheart from baldur's gate 3. personality wise... Caduceus Clay from critical role :) they're different in a lot of ways to be fair, but they both really like nature and eating foraged goods. They're both also ace + neurodivergent and love their friends and doing things for them. I also think they share that kind of.... young, naive, out of their depth, but still trying to be wise beyond their years kinda thing? idk they're not *the same* or anything, but I could see them getting along and having a fine day in the blooming grove (Cad's home / temple / graveyard) or in valedale just drinkin tea and foraging and looking for bugs and frogs <3

[hungry-skeleton]

What is your favorite magic system in a show/movie/book?

That's tough,, I had this book called The Summoner's Handbook that was neat! It was part of a series I believe but I only read the one book. I'm not sure if I would call it my favorite but I enjoyed what it had going on!

[thebacklistbook]

Winners Circle - Backlist Book Awards

Best Cover: Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

The All-nighter: Tied

Listen to Me - Tess Gerritsen

Death on the Nile - Agatha Christie

The Appeal - Janice Hallett

The WTF Award: The Curly Girl handbook - Michele Bender, Lorraine Massey

Best Diverse Read: Dr. Siri Paiboon series - Colin Cotterill

Most Obvious Plot Twist: The Plot - Jean Korelitz

Villainless: The Martian - Andy Weir

Villainous: Desert Queen - Janet Wallach

Poetically Lit: Citizen: An American Lyric - Claudia Rankine

Wrapped up Tight: Rizzoli & Isles series - Tess Gerritsen

Be Careful! It's Fragile: Desert Queen - Janet Wallach

How about a little Respect: Taste: My Life Through Food - Stanley Tucci

Best in Ship: Fatima Ali and Life; Savor: A Chef's Hunger for More - Fatima Ali

Best in (Friend)ship: Nehemia Ytger and Celaena Sardothien; Throne of Glass - Sarah J. Maas

Best in Romance: Dragonfly in Amber - Diana Gabaldon

Burned on my Brain: Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine - Gail Honeyman

Best in Sci-fi/ time travel: Blackout/All clear - Connie Willis

Most Emotional Read: What Alice Forgot - Liane Moriarty

Best in Magical Realism: Tied

Midnight Sun - Stephenie Meyer

The Golem and the Jinni - Helene Wecker

You've Got Mail: Let Me Tell You What I Mean - Joan Didion

Best in Fantasy: Tied

The Wheel of Time series - Robert Jordan

Piranesi - Susanna Clarke

Best Debut: Evvie Drake Starts Over - Linda Holmes

Best in Horror: Frankenstein - Mary Shelley

Best in Dystopia: Uglies - Scott Westerfeld

Best in Contemporary: Mad Honey - Jodi Picoult, Jennifer Finney Boylan

Best in Non-fiction: Tied

Quackery - Lydia Kang

The Happiest Man Alive - Eddie Jaku

Bibliomaniac - Robin Ince

The Book Came First: A Man Called Ove - Fredrik Backman

The Movie Came First: My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult

Best LGBT+ Rep: Tied

Huntress - Malinda Lo

Tales of the City - Armistead Maupin

Classically Lit: Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

Best Worldbuilding: Deja Dead - Kathy Reichs

Best in Humor: Tied

Agent to the Stars - John Scalzi

How Y'all Doin'? - Leslie Jordan

Best in Historical Fiction: Tied

The Lincoln Highway - Amor Towles

Desert Queen - Janet Wallach

Best in Satire: Skipping Christmas - John Grisham

Graphically Lit: Big Panda & Tiny Dragon - James Norbury

The Independence of You: A Camp Without Fire - Ignacio Ramirez Bautista