#magic foster family au

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

Headcanons that can and will make up how I write the Marvelous Bats AU I’m trying to actually write

Everyone has a minor upgrade or addition on the powers they have. Eugene has his technokinesis, Pedro is physically stronger than Billy even though they have the same blessing, Darla is faster, Freddy has some minor telekinesis and is better at flying in practice, and Mary’s courage is infectious to the degree of getting people out of being scared frozen in an emergency and getting them to rescue themselves and have the bravery to help others along the way.

Billy and Mary are still twins, she’s adopted by the Bromfields and Billy is newly fostered by the Vasquez’s but they all work and spend time together as a family unit despite the separate home lives

Billy knows how to make portals anywhere with doors, the place just needs to have a door. (He has tried getting the Batcave that way but apparently the car doors of the Batmobile don’t count)

Yes all the Bats know the Marvels identity’s and vice versa, the rest of the League? Nope. Just think Batman mellowed out in his crusade to learn Caps identity

Yes Bruce wanted to adopt Billy, Billy said screw that and Jason pointed out how bad of an idea it would be to have a kid named Batson in the public eye of Gotham. “The Joker can and will try to make a bad joke out of the kid Bruce.” “Yeah Batman, you want me to die in a robin costume of all things?” Bruce just stayed silent for a moment and almost started crying (it’s was only a week later Jason took a good look at the kid and realized Billy is a mini him and Bruce probably didn’t like the Robin comment)

Damian, Darla, and Jon are the true kid hero trinity. Their mission? Chaos

Freddy just about passed out when he met Barbra, the super amazing Batgirl is the super cool lady behind the monitor that’s one of freaking Batman’s most essential teammates? Oh the feeling of finally seeing a super like himself

Tim met Billy and Mary’s parents through his own when he was little, the 3 of them had a very long discussion about cool archeology stuff for a good few hours

Because his hero form is his “full potential” and is very big Pedro asked Jason to help him get from how he is now to his hero form, seeing as his body type was closest. Now they work out together every Tuesday and Friday (school and vigilante work permitting) half of it is actually working out and the other is building Pedros confidence

Batman and Captain Marvel make a point to block and argue heavily against any other Marvel joining the League, Billy is the only one until the rest of the family does meet the age requirement they have. Billy does the heavy lifting expected of the actual Champion of Magic and his siblings enjoy the small town hero life and look out for Fawcett and the Rock when he’s off world, Mary is the defacto leader when he’s gone.

Like how every Bat has their designated Super and sometimes Wonder, they all have a Marvel they hang out with more than others. Mary and Dick hang out and bond over being the unfortunate voice of reason siblings, Darla is the childish influence making Damian act more his age and love doing it. Billy and Bruce are the respective “heads of the family” and Bruce checks in a lot on how Billy’s life is going with the occasional leadership tip thrown in to help with hero work. Jason tutors Pedro when they’re both visiting, if they cross paths on the job they’ll talk sports a lot. Freddy and Eugene talk a lot about strategy’s, games, gadgets, and superpowers with Barbra and Tim.

Tawny and Alfred are golfing buddies, they also build miniatures of flag ships together and talk about their weird family of supers over tea

Eugene has hacked the Bat-computer on multiple occasions, each time to make an edit to any files Bruce makes of the family, mostly something childish like adding “the amazing” or “the super awesome” before their hero names in the files. But one hack he did was into his contingency plans files, which nearly gave Bruce a heart attack thinking there was going to be another accident that would almost kill his friends.

The hack was the change of “Further research needed to figure out a strategy for neutralization, for now the best strategy is to trick or force them into using their trigger phrase to de-transform before incapacitating them” to “let their siblings deal with the situation”

The Justice League’s first introduction to Captain Marvel was during a “Superman is being affected by Red Kryptonite” situation. By the time they caught up to him in Fawcett their resident hero was helping the man up and panicking over how much he hurt him trying to wrestle the Kryptonite off him, they offered him a seat with them by the end of the week after satellite imaging showed that he led Superman into the air after he knocked down a building and delt with him without further damage and Superman’s account that he broke his arm and bruised multiple ribs trying to stop him. Billy was 9 at the time and only had his powers a few months at that time so he had no idea how much he needed to reel his strength in and was panicking too much to properly do so either way in that fight.

Damian was jealous that Billy got into the league so young and Bruce still won’t let him on despite his capabilities but realizes Billy only got so far because of a lie of omission and one event where he severely harmed Superman, he’d call his father an idiot if he hadn’t tried to keep an eye on such a worrying individual

The Vasquez’s know their kids visit the Wayne’s every other day, as do the Bromfields, but only Vic and Rosa know about the superhero part of it all. The Bromfields just think Mary is visiting a girl friend and having sleepovers every so often, they aren’t entirely wrong since she does hang out with Cass and Stephenie but they don’t need to know her whole superhero life. It’s framed as a mentorship so that their kids can do their best with the powers given to them with a healthy amount of encouragement in still being kids and attending school, it’s mostly just the two families spending time with eachother though.

Black Adam used to antagonize the Marvel Family but after a fight with Billy 1v1 he saw he was a child and stopped trying to actively kill him, he’s now their weird uncle figure who pops by to show them some fighting moves and try to tell Billy to stop being the champion until he’s older.

Black Adam is closer to the movie version solely for the purposes of expanding the family size, he looks like his classic comic self but has to shift in morals and backstory he had in the movie

The fight happened in a empty patch of dessert outside Khandaq when Billy was 11, no one on the League knows why they suddenly stopped fighting or why Cap officiated the guys wedding but their happy he figured something out so his city didn’t get torn up every month by their fights anymore.

The hero names and nicknames for the Marvel family are as follows

Billy Batson —> Captain Marvel (Cap, the Captain)

Mary Bromfield —> Mary Marvel (Mary)

Freddy Freeman —> Lieutenant Marvel (Lieu, Captain Marvel Jr. (by one annoying reporter))

Pedro Peña —> General Marvel (The jolly green giant, Greenie)

Eugene Choi —> Chief Marvel (Chief, Master Chief (self proclaimed, never used))

Darla Dudley —> Ms./Princess Marvel (Ms., Missy Marvel, Missy (Used for professional purposes) Princess (Used every other time as her choice of code name))

Adriana Tomaz —> Isis (/got the amulet of Isis as a wedding gift from Darla from the Rock, she didn’t know what it was but is happy she got cool powers with the rest of the family/)

Amon Tomaz —> Horus (/name changed from comics to coincide with the change in family dynamic between him and Adriana from siblings to parent/child/)

Theo —> Black Adam/Khem Adam

Shout out to @thefantasmarex for reminding me how much I love these two families together

[tuxedo-rabbit]

I have reached the point in my bg3 playthrough where i want to play bg1.

Thinking about my durge is making me think about my bg1 character and im getting emotional over the idea of them meeting.

[macabreafterparty]

Imagine this tomarry/harrymort au that was inspired by a conversation I had with my lover

Harry Potter is nothing but a lowly servant to be married off to someone like Dolores Umbridges son for some land his family owned before they died but then he mysteriously goes missing.

Rumor started to spread that the god that lived in the woods (or dilapidated castle) snatched the green eyed virgin away for trespassing some days before.

His foster family (the Dursleys of course) wanting to save face as the "caring" family who wants to return him to his "true love" gathered a team to rescue him (Order of the Phoenix or maybe just his merry band of Gryffindors)

As the rescue team zones in on him, they're surprised at how warm the home they tracked Harry to is, how it smells of baking treacle tart, how the magic seems to buzz around them in joy.

As they smash into the only lit room, yelling "HARRY WE'RE HERE TO RESCUE YOU" they were surprised by seeing Harry. Not chained or tortured. No, he was not only healthy by draped in this god damn thing

On this god damn thing

With not only mountains of food, books, and magical trinkets littering the area but a god-like creature (whether it be Voldemort or Tom Riddle you can decide) Sitting behind him, chin on his shoulder and arms around him, possessiveness oozing from the very hold.

Harry looks up in shock from the giant tome floating in front of him, (the creature not even looking in the team's direction as if he wanted them to find the both of the men in said position) and just goes "What..are you talking about? Go away, I'm fine."

[sapphoherselz]

howdy!! two literal people have asked for some andreil rec so here they are!! my most favest fics EVER in the first 60 ao3 pages (I'll keep updating tho as I read!)

Not yours to bleed:

The Pros were never in the cards. Not for an ex-medicated alleged psychotic with a dysfunctional family and an Exy career he’d rather not have. But even if it wasn't his first choice, no matter what happens, it can’t possibly be worse than that one fucked up sophomore year when he stood toe to toe with the Yakuza-and won.

At least, that’s what Andrew thinks until a familiar face shows up.

Another Raven!Neil AU. Or, the one where the boys don’t meet until the Pros.

 

**Updates every other Wednesday, whatever hell may come.**

The Sun Still Rises:

Somewhere on the road, Mary Hatford gets pregnant with her second child. When she passes, she leaves behind not only Neil, but his toddler brother. Survival is difficult without also raising a kid. Worn out and desperate, Neil still somehow ends up at Palmetto, only this time, he brings his four-year-old brother with him.

TALE OF A MARTYR IN XII PARTS:

Neil closes his eyes and counts the things that he knows:

One: Death has a name.

Two: He has met Death before. Several times, in fact.

Three: Someone is trying to kill him. Permanently. But it's only kind of working.

Or, the one in which Andrew is the Grim Reaper, Neil is very, very good at dying, over and over and over again. They teach each other a few things over the centuries.

Hearthlines:

The Fae king and queens have gone away, closing the knowes behind them and abandoning their offspring to the mortal world. As the Fae have spread far and wide, their bloodlines thinning if not vanishing forever as they flee from mortal persecution... two Fae have found a way to reopen the knowes - Kayleigh Day and Tetsuji Moriyama. The Fae regroup once more, the balance of power shifted amongst them, and 'changelings' appear now and then in the mortal population.

Andrew Doe is one of those changelings, a young child suffering in the foster system, shunned by his peers for some reason and hearing voices in his head.

Alex - the latest name gifted to him by a charm - is on the run along with his mother from his father, using their talents as shadow walkers to slide between worlds and stay one step ahead of the powerful Fae. Except even that is not enough anymore. Except that's not Alex's only talent.

*******

An urban fantasy where I throw Fae, necromancy and magic at TFC characters, pretty much!

Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die):

Neil Josten goes to the Nest for Andrew, but he stays for a lot more.

~

"I'm sorry Coach," he muttered.

"For what kid?" Wymack shifted. "You've got to give me something to work with here."

Wymack watched the thin traces of sorrow as paper exchanged hands and he was looking down at a contract with the Edgar Allan Raven's.

"I signed them Coach, I'm sorry."

~

The one where Neil doesn't come back from Winter Break.

Amor Vincit Omnia:

“I said it already,” the man said, “Your cluster.”

“But what does that mean?” Neil asked.

“It means that you are no longer just you,” the man said tersely, “Congratulations.”

It didn’t feel like anything worth celebrating.

A Sense8 AU where the foxes all share one subconscious and kick a lot of ass

The Real Thing:

Andrew was more than willing to turn down the Ravens' offer to be their newest goalie, unwilling to play five more years of Exy - let alone for someone with a too-sharp smile and a manic gleam in their eyes.

That was, until he realized that a member of their Perfect Court was his soulmate. (That was, until Riko Moriyama realized that Nathaniel Wesninski, the Ravens' #3 in waiting, was Andrew's soulmate.)

Andrew always knew that Fate loved tormenting him, he didn't need a reminder yet again via a too-attractive soulmate who appeared to loathe him. Yet things aren't always what they seem, especially in the Nest.

mad girl says she's wolf-proof:

Keeping her grip light on Nina’s throat, Andrea drops her gaze to her plump lips. She smiles—coldly, slowly. Fangs on fangs. Salt tombstones. It is not a nice smile, none of Andrea’s smiles are, but Nina’s eyes are stuck in it regardless. “And I will answer, all the better to eat you with.”

 

(Andrea Dobson vs girlhood and lycanthropy.)

lessons in caretaking:

Neil was acting shifty, and Andrew knew why; that motherfucker was leaving. Despite the promise between them, Neil was prepping to run. Andrew wasn't upset about that, not at all. After all, if notorious Neil "No-Swing" Josten needed to leave after Andrew admitted his desires regarding his proximity to Neil's shorts, who was Andrew to stop him. But that doesn't explain why Neil was stealing socks, or why he wanted Andrew's clothes.

Whatever. That was probably unrelated.

Sauntering Vaguely Downwards:

They’ve known each other since the Beginning. Not the Beginning Beginning—they didn’t meet until after the War in Heaven, where they kept to their own sides, or until after the subsequent Fall. It wasn’t even until after the Exodus from Eden, but only by a couple minutes. They’ve witnessed the rise and fall of empires, sampled all the cuisines the world has to offer, and weathered several very silly fashion trends.

Andrew doesn’t think they’re friends, exactly, but it is natural to become accustomed to the presence of the only other being who has been around more or less consistently for six millennia. It wasn’t anything more meaningful than that.

A Good Omens AU where Andrew is a grumpy angel, Neil is a sharp-tongued serpent, and it takes them literally six thousand years to figure out they belong together.

[m00neroni]

in response to your latest reblog re: popular fics, are there any lesser known fics you'd recommend? I feel like every tiktok or tumblr rec list is full of the same stuff now... preferably on the medium to long side (90k+)

oh, hi, nonnie! love this ask because I love yapping about fics! it feels like my moment! let's see, 90k+ directly from my very messy bookmarks that are, in my opinion, highly underrated:

(The yapping got too long, sorry)

Precious Love by AdrianManwaring: Remus and Sirius, upon moving to a new city, are called to become foster parents. Really lovely story about family and finding a place in the world. (kid fic-adoption. established wolfstar. 188k.)

call it fate, call it karma by veridity: Sirius wants to make an entire corrupt empire fall down and recruits Remus, a journalism student with a big sense for justice and his sworn enemy since, probably, day 1. A personal favourite, highly highly recommended. (university au. journalism. 103k)

Harry Potter and the Dog and The Wolf Series by thewholeofthemoon (on-going, main story finished): The Full Moon doesn't fall during the Shack reunion, so Peter never escapes and things adjust according to it. I always recommend this series for a reason. One of my favourite wolfstar. I've reread it several times. (fix-it/canon rewrite. 605k)

Second Generation Series by @languagelessonswolfstar: Teddy is found in a broom closet with his boyfriend, Leo, who happens to be Sirius' kid. When their parents are called into school, things get a bit awkward, considering they are exes. Completely obsessed with this fic and this dynamic and the pain.

Glorified Foresight by irrelevanttous: Remus comes back to England with the promise of Wolfsbane and has to face his previous life, very pissed off with him ex lover included. This fic is such a fucking rollercoaster. It also has one of my favourite magical battle scenes so !! (kinda enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers again! and a mystery! canon divergence. 157k)

How Long 'Til My Sould Gets It Right by @severedreamerfox: Remus and Sirius try to build a life together while they stay at Grimmauld Place. But destiny has its surprises, ones better than others. If you know me, you know how much I love krabapple's fics, but this will probably always be my favourite, not only of hers but of any fic ever. Highly recommended. (bring back black. mpreg. 88k)

The World Is Waiting For You by thechanchanman: Lily and Remus participate in a reality show around the world. Their main rivals happen to become more than that at quick speed, but first, they need to win the race. Very light funny and lovely story if you need fluff in your life. (amazing race au. 92k)

couple more, this time shorter:

Ullswater by @eyra: Winter term at the Ullswater Institute. Lots of classical music, pining and just, so lovely. (university au. 30k)

Let Me Get What I Want (This Time) by Sierra_Sitruc: Teen Sirius starts having visions that seem from a different life. Personal favourite, right at the top and brilliant concept. (canon divergence/fix-it. 69k)

The Adventures of Captain Sirius Black and His Most Excellent Dragon Padfoot by OptimisticDinosaur: Sirius is a pirate who, somehow, gets adopted by a lovely dragon and fights a war alongside a very grumpy Remus. They fall in love while on it. THE DRAGONS !!!! THE ACTION !!! just so good (historical fantasy. 37k)

The Killing Time (unwillingly mine) by @kaaaaaaarf: Sirius loves getting engaged to lame and insufficient men, so Remus takes matters into his own hands. I love this fic so much I went down a rabbit hole of making all my friends read it, so trust my delirium. (murder husbands. 17k)

9 Months by @billspaid: Lily is expecting, and these are the nine months of her journey. Such an amazing and heartwarming fic from such an amazing and talented friend. Any of her works is brilliant, but this one will always be my favourite. (pregnancy fic. 32k.)

Blood Sugar Sex Moony by @emeryhall: Sirius and Remus from 1981 London are magically deposited in 1995 Sunnydale High, with its cliques and a bit of murder. The concept of this fic is the coolest thing ever I devoured it in a day !! (canon divergence. 63k)

Step & Repeat by @theresthesnitch: In which Remus accepts to be famous actor Sirius' fake boyfriend, they platonically share bed and live in a lovely denial. I want to remark not only the amazing writing and story but also the media content used in the fic, because it is such a brilliant work it needs to be addressed. (fake dating au. 62k)

Best Friend's Wedding by amberlink: Sirius is in love with James. But James is marrying Lily. So Sirius has a plan to get James back, and it involves Remus. What can go wrong? An absolute masterpiece of pining and bad decisions. (fake dating au. 61k)

drop your recs too if you want!!

[cloakedsparrow]

Bat Family 'Bruce is Tim's biological parent' AU Idea #1

Wherein Jack Drake: a) Regularly tags along on archaeological digs despite not being an archaeologist. b) Commonly smuggles home archaeological finds despite that not being legal. c) Does not believe in curses, hauntings, or any mythology despite the world that he lives in being populated with *gestures at comics* all that.

As a result, Jack is like a magnet for cursed objects and keeps smuggling the damned things home.

The first time little Timmy suspects this is happening, he knows his dad won't respond well to him suggesting the most recent package he sent home is haunted. He knows he'll respond even worse if he tries to get anyone else involved. So he sends his mom a private email explaining what's going on. Janet replies that he's right to be suspicious, that this has absolutely happened before, and that he was right to contact her. She tells him she's sending over a friend who can help and gives him a password that she'll tell the friend so he knows it's okay to let him in the house.

John Constantine shows up within the hour. Tim is certain he didn't drive there (the alert that someone passed through the gates never went off and no one put in a code to open them) but there is a cursed object in his house and John knew the password Janet gave him, so he's mostly just happy to have an adult there to handle the situation. Even if a somewhat bizarre adult.

John takes care of the cursed object and is impressed that Tim reacted to it much faster than most do. He gives Tim his card with instructions to call him if anything like what was happening starts to happen again or if anything else weird starts happening after his father has been to any digs or sent home any strange packages.

As Jack is the aforementioned cursed object magnet, Tim ends up calling John fairly often for someone who doesn't actively work with the occult and is, in fact, a child. John keeps praising him for catching on as quick as he does and giving him information to catch onto other types of mystical/magical wickedness. Tim gets really good at recognizing when magic/curses/spirits are at play.

Then, Janet dies and Jack goes into a coma. Tim is fostered by Bruce for a year and a half and doesn't have to worry about curses or haunted objects for all that time. When they do come across something of the occult, Bruce/Batman has his own contacts, so there was never a reason for Tim to bring any of it up.

Then, the events of Identity Crisis/Crisis of Conscience occur, and Bruce doesn't want to talk to Zatanna (his usual mystic go-to) if it can be helped. He doesn't want to call in anyone connected to most of the Justice League if it can be helped.

So when they come across a cursed object, Tim immediately identifies it and tells Bruce not to worry, he knows a guy who can handle it. The man knows his civilian identity, so they'll have to pretend Bruce bought the object as part of an action or estate sale lot.

John comes and handles it. Before he leaves he comments that he's glad Tim's biological father finally decided to step up and that Bruce better take good care of the boy.

When Tim explains that Bruce isn't his father, the look on John's face clearly shows that he's trying to figure out how to back-step, but not in the expected way. More in the 'I let on information i wasn't supposed to' way.

Which is how Bruce and Tim end up running a paternity test in the Cave at four am.

Alfred and Dick are delighted by the results.

[Alternative ending: John pulls Bruce aside to let him know that Janet told him Jack wasn't Tim's father and that both he and Bruce were on the short list and he hadn't known Jack died or he'd have contacted him already. They have to wait to find out which of them is the lucky one. Either Bruce turns out to be the father and John just lets Tim know he can still call him whenever needed or it turns out John is the father and they decide Tim should still stay with Bruce but John has visitations. Also, Tim might have been showing signs of his Homo Magi heritage when he recognized all these cursed objects. John insists on teaching him to use his magic despite Bruce's unease with it.]

[bloominheresy]

After being inspired by Kj's Band AU months back, I have decided to also throw my hat into the rink! (👉ﾟヮﾟ)👉

I only have Narinder and Leshy's streetwear designed so far, but anyways!! Lore drop time YYYYEAAAAH

An Eternal Vessel for a Voice AU ( Bishops ):

Legally recognized foster family, all used to live in one house until a few years prior to the current timeline

Shamura the eldest sibling, estimated 35 yrs old, is the founder of their own rapidly growing tech company. They used to be a super popular anonymous producer online but retired to pursue the challenge of technological innovations + support their siblings as the main breadwinner of the family

Kallamar (30-ish) used to work at a private clinic as a doctor and also supported the household, but has since parted from the household to watch over Heket

Heket at her early twenties is currently touring the lands and is a well-renowned vocalist known for her deep and powerful growls and control (think Ado!); doesn't want to return home just yet in order to heal from the rift caused by a certain event

Leshy (18) is still a high schooler on his last year; one of those 'stupidly smart without studying' type of kids who has too much free time on his hands and uses it to indulge himself in art and anime weeb stuff HAHAHA he got gifted a drawing tablet by Kallamar for his birthday and has been obsessed in exploring the art medium

Narinder (24) finished college a few years back, but a certain event made him a social shut-in for a while, taking care of the house now instead and being the only sibling Leshy loves to constantly annoy since Shamura often comes home late and barely has time to stay for the weekends. He has a great passion for music producing thanks to Shamura's influence growing up and has been using his spare time at home to hone his craft and post his work online

They all have social media accs Twitter Narinder and Leshy's mascots / pfps uses their crowns; Leshy is actually the artist for many of Narinder's album covers and music videos and is often seen bantering online on the TL even if they're literally in the same house most of the time 💀

This one is just self-indulgent and projecting but Narinder loathes the idea of socializing in order to collab with other online musicians so he forced himself to learn how to play the piano so that he could just use VSTs (virtual instruments) instead to cover all other parts his songs would need BWAHAHAHA ( I wish I knew how to play piano for the same reason :') )

Adding onto here some more Nari and Leshy-specific hcs:

Magic doesn't exist in this Modern AU, so Narinder's eyes are an olive green, and his third eye has been replaced with an oddly symmetrical scar he got from an accident years back

Leshy's social media handle (@chervx888_) is based on the romanized spelling of worm in Russian, while all the 8's are meant to represent a lot of eyes

Leshy has once bursted into Narinder's room, phone in hand, to proclaim with his volume turned up to eleven: "BRO, BABY GRONK JUST CALLED OUT THE RIZZLER TO FIGHT HIM IN THE BOXING RING"

Leshy is really REALLY nearsighted but refuses to wear the prescription glasses he was given since it looks "uncool" to his classmate friend group consisting of the Darkwood mini bosses

—

Be warned that I need to add another set of woody horns on Leshy to match his sprite... but. BUT- what if... the third set starts growing out or something later down the line.... (no clie, just add the third set instead doubling down)

Anyways, this AU is meant to reference popular JP entertainment media online! NicoDouga, Vtubers, Vocaloid, Utaites, JPop, and much more!

[wangxianficfinder]

I'm in the mood for...

July 23rd

~*~

1. Hello :D

Itmf a few things

A. xy and wwx both getting adopted by the jiang clan and maybe xy helping to matchmake wangxian?

b. any wangxian fics where xy and wwx are besties

c. wangxian fics with songxuexiao as a bg ship

1A)

Growing from Mud by Aly_H (M, 147k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, SongXiao, SangYang, QingJue, XiCheng, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Adoption, Injury, YunMeng Jiang XY, Canonical Character Death, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Angst Angst with a Happy Ending, Wrongful Imprisonment, PTSD)

1B)

Debts of a Child by Hauntcats (M, 115k, WangXian, dark, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters.) wwx and xy are adopted brother as wwx leaves the jiang clan early on

🔒Tangled Threads by merakily (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Humor, Armchair Therapy, Confused XY, WWX & XY Friendship, XY just has some teenage angst he's working through, this is basically a xy+aq buddy cop dramaas they try to figure out wangxian's whole deal, XY learns how to knit)

🔒 necromancy is a valid career path! Series by coslyons, Skadiseven (T, 41k, WangXian, XY & WWX & WN & WQ, Modern with Magic AU, Seattle, Necromancy, Found Family, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Gardens & Gardening, Mathematics, Running, Growing up) foster kid vibes

[Podfic of] Tangled Threads by Merakily by AuntieIroh (T, 30-45min, WWX & XY, A-Q & XY & SL & XXC, Modern, High School, Humor, Armchair Therapy, XY gets the therapy he deserves, Confused XY, WWX & XY Friendship, XY just has some teenage angst he's working through, this is basically a xy+aq buddy cop drama, as they try to figure out wangxian's whole deal, XY learns how to knit, Song: Angry (The Rolling Stones)) therapist rather than bestie but they like each other!

1C)

🔒 live from new york by varnes (E, 87k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, snl au, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, A Family Can Just Be The Staff Of A Popular Late Night Sketch Show, Pining, Getting Together, Modern, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, and they were ROOMMATES, Frottage, Light Bondage, could not be lighter or gentler bondage) songxuexiao is very subtle but its there

Time After Time by ghosthouses (T, 4k, WangXian, SongXueXiao, High School, 80's Romance AU, Prom, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Mutual Pining, oblivious wangxian, the xuesongxiao is mostly background, fixing love triangles with polyamory, lwj in a suit)

Violet Spider's Choice by tkbenjamin (M, 62k, WangXian, XiYao, SongXueXiao, XuanLi, JFM/YZY, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Kid Fic, Yin Iron, Good Parent JFM, Good Parent YZY, JGY Redemption, XY Redemption, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ Spoils WWX, No Underage Sex, Everybody Lives, Murder gremlins)

~*~

2. Please help, oh wonderful FicFinders! This is an ITMF request: any fic that is really harsh on Madam Yu but does NOT include Jiang Cheng bashing. Especially if she suffers some comeupance for the way she treats WWX+her kids.

🔒 If Wishes Were Donkeys by NightOwl1 (M, 101k, WIP, WangXian, SVSSS, Time Travel Fix-It, Case Fic, Mpreg, Fluff and Humor, Dysfunctional Jiāng Family, Bad Parent YZY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending,   Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, It’s All The System’s Fault, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Warning: JGS, Good Uncle LQR, LWJ and WWX Are LSZ’s Parents, Inappropriate Humor, Family Feels) THE YZY comeuppance fic in my opinion

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending)

~*~

3. Hi do you know any fic about weiying transmigrating into a novel or game or such?

So Call Me a Pessimist, but I Don’t Believe in It by Anonymous (Not Rated, 133k, WIP, WangXian, Food Issues, Family Feels, WWX is a music teacher, WN and WWX are Best Friends from the future, They use memes to talk covertly, Transmigrator WWX, transmigration au, Slow Burn)

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4. Hello! This is my second time asking im in the mood for fics for wangxian suicide squad au or joker au if there is any thank you!

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5. hi!! itmf is there any wangxian fics that has catboy wy like feline misconduct by Papriqua and vicchan @yesibest

stray cat strut by ScarlettStorm (E, 54k, WangXian, No War AU, the world's least mysterious casefic, Comedy, Shenanigans, Slow Burn, a disgusting amount of magically necessary forehead smooches, switch rights)

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6. Hi there. Can you please link me to any "*the most heavy angst* wangxian fic *with happy ending*" where wwx life is constantly in danger as he fought to leave / where wwx desperately tries to gain lwjs love risking everything.

Thankyou for all your hard work

Twin Demons of Mò by XiaoFeiFei (ArfBarkWoof) (M, 358k, MXY & WWX, wangxian, JL & MXY, XY & MXY, JGY & MXY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Abuse, Death, Twin Demons of Mo AU, MXY Lives, Major Character Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Minor Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Canon Divergence, Self-Harm, Found Family, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, POV Alternating) is /super/ heavy but ends very nicely

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7. Hello! ITMF light hearted secret relationship fics? Either canon or modern, I am just in the mood for some fluff and comedy about WangXian trying to hide their obvious interest in each other from everyone else. Thank you!

🔒 A heated Livestream. by satans_dolly_boy666 (G, 1k, WangXian, WWX & OCs, JC & WWX, WWX & NHS, Modern, livestream, gamer, Established WangXian, Possessive LWJ, Supportive LXC, Jealous LWJ, Internally screaming WWX, Internet Famous, Sugar Daddy, OK no but still-, College/University, College Student WWX, LWJ is fucking rich, Gossip, Surprises, Surprise Kissing, Secret Relationship, Idiots in Love, Dorks in Love, Showing Off, LWJ is a little shit, Identity Reveal, Relationship Reveal, Gay Panic)

After the Final Rose by azurewaxwing (E, 55k, wangxian, modern, reality show au, secret relationship, fluff & angst, happy ending, bachelor LWJ, cameraman WWX, smut)

🔒To Make Him a Perfect Bride by Hinu (E, 139k, WangXian, Modern, Feminization, Crossdressing, Marriage Proposal, Romantic Comedy, Meet the Family, Homophobia, Cultural Differences, Discrimination, Wealth kink, Potentially Unhealthy Beauty Standards, Rich LWJ, Power Bottom WWX, Sugar Daddy LWJ, Plot With Porn, Mild Kink, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Coming Out, Implied Canon-Typical Child Abuse, Phone Sex in Public, Sexual Harassment, competent wwx, Financial Domination, Sexual Roleplay, Light BDSM, WWX’s dog phobia, Submissive LWJ, Blood, Smoking, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, WWX’s dissociative panic attacks in later chapters, Gay LWJ, Protective LWJ, Weddings, Wedding Planning, Secret Relationship, Genderqueer WWX, BAMF NHS, Gay WWX, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, fem! WWX is A-Jingyi’s and A-Yuan’s sexual awakening, Office Sex, Airplane Sex, Happy Ending, Class Differences, Crazy Rich Asians Fusion)

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8. ITMF Sunshot Campaign and Burial Mounds Settlement rewrites where WWX still has his golden core? Thank you!

💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27)

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, Canon Divergence WWX does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM and YZY) sort of works by featuring a Wei Ying who keep his core and who helps the Wen remnants, just not in the Burial Mounds.

Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (E, 231k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Mutual Pining, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, unreliable narrator, Found Family, First Time, novel canon relationship dynamics)

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9. Hey! I was looking for some beefy/chubby wangxian fics. Honestly, I'd love to see either of them put on some weight or at least not be just dehydrated muscle-y ppl. Somewhat similar to "the sweetest kind of victory" by stiltonbasket or "as a treat." by Mikkeneko

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) WWX has suffered food insecurity in the past but now is healthily chubby which both he and LWJ appreciate

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10. ITMF Wwx going with A-yuan for the celebration of 100 days of Jin Ling.

💖 A Crying Shame by thunderwear (G, 16k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, burial mounds settlement days, getting together, pining, domestic fluff, love confessions, first kiss, sharing a bed, marriage proposal)

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11. To fic finder I request your humble aid I am trying to find podfics of Wei ying and the juniors adventures together and him being a great teacher and a junior being ducklings

🔒❤️ Joy In the Midst of These Things Series by Glitterbombshell (T/G, 53k, WangXian, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Teacher WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff) Has 2 podfics available

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, The One-Body Problem by SeaNoodle, Problem jednego ciała (podfik) by tehanu, [PODFIC] The One-Body Problem by PolynomialPandemic, [PODFIC] The One-Body Problem by Gwogobo, [Podcast] Juniors just wanna have fun by jellyfishfire, kisahawklin) Seeing the reblog, it occurs to me that The One-Body Problem also sorta fits & has a couple of podfics Mainly WWX & LJY, & LSZ is also a significant character

[Podfic] Grow by jellyfishfire (T, 1-1.5H, wangxian, post-canon, de-aging, character study)

Wearing Down Every Bone [Podfic] by Rionaa (E, 2-2.5hrs, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Podfic Chaptered, Podfic Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours, Podfic Length: 45-60 Minutes) This the has a certain amount of juniors + wwx

Juniors' High Nighthunt by AirgiodSLV, irrationalpie, jennisaisquoi, minnapods (minnabird), PolynomialPandemic, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona), takopods (takonomz) (G, 2k, 10-20mins, Junior Quartet-centric, Minor WangXian, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Comedy, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Podfic Collaboration, Humor, the juniors accidentally get high on a night hunt)

these two are very much "wwx and his relationships to various juniors" but not on adventures together, but hopefully will still work:

[Podfic] A Civil Combpaign by jellyfishfire (T, 2.5-3hrs, ZhuiLing, WangXian, Marriage Proposal, Teenage Drama, Family Bonding, and the Power of Combs as a courting gift, Podfic Length: 2.5-3 Hours)

[podfic] best friends forever by jellyfishfire (T, 1-1.5 hrs, LingYi, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Juniors shenanigans, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours)

((not a podfic but) A Mother’s Love by FirefliesNLightningBugs (M, 170k, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Mostly combo of the Untamed and MoDaoZuShi timelines, Unreliable Narrator, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Miscommunication, Family Feels, Found Family, PTSD, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Political Intrigue, Mystery, POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Strong Female Characters, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Good Brother In Law JZX, Genderbent WWX, Intersex WWX, not a/b/o, POV Original Character, Expanded Universe, Unplanned Pregnancy, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bisexual WWX, YLLZ WWX, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Pining WangXian, Parent-Child Relationship, Getting Together, Protective Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect, MXY Lives) wwx is a great teacher to junior ducklings, but it's oc Jiang juniors (tho the canon junior quartet make brief cameos as babies, cause it's a diverging au post sunshot )

[Podfic] 爱不释手; never let me go by argentumlupine (E, 6-7H, WangXian, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Format: MP3, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror, Mystery)

[Podfic of] To be of use by isweedan (Not Rated, 7-10H, LSZ & LWJ, Found Family, Accidental Baby Acquisition, (kinda), Father-Son Relationship, Missing Scene, Good Teacher LWJ, LSZ is an angel, LJY is the best of brats, Cloud Recesses, Seclusion Lite(TM), Everyone under 20 at Cloud Recesses worships Hanguang-jun, Fluff, Hanguang-jun is the coolest, Worldbuilding, this is not sad tho even though it's set in the time jump, the fluff-to-sads ratio is v high, Audio Format: MP3)

[Podfic] A Matter of Technicality by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona) (T, 2-2.5hrs, JL & JC & WWX, Post-Canon, JC & WWX Reconciliation, As Helped Along By The Junior Ensemble, Feat. Fairy As A Very Good Girl, Fluff and Humor, Family Feels, Some Minor Nefarious Plotting, It's For A Good Cause Though, The Technicalities Of Transmigration, Questionable Fantasy Inheritance Law, Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Download)

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12. Hey I was going thru all your wanxian recs and they are all so good and unique! I'm in the mood for a fic where Jiang Yangli and Lan wangji are betrothed, wwx just like canon becomes friends lwj and doesn't realise that he has fallen for him. He acts like he is very happy his 2 favorite people are getting married but also really sad about it not understanding why. I know its very specific but I'vent found anything even close to this concept on ao3. Hope you can help. Thank you💜 @auspiccake

Neatly Arranged by thunderwear (T, 45k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, lwj’s mother is here but only briefly, RIP, Shenanigans, Fix-Itof sorts, Canonical Character Death, but not all, did i forget to tag pining, because this fic is like 90 percent pining, Hurt/Comfort)

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13. Hi! Hope you have a wonderful day! For the next ITMF, can I have fics where the Lan Clan is soft/lenient/have favoritism towards Wei Ying? Kinda like Cluster of Clouds by Nika_Raven_Celeste? It doesn't have to be time-traveling, can be set during their CR or Post-Canon.

Bonus points if other people can literally see the difference of treatment between wei ying and them lol

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 828k, WangXian, WIP, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Getting Together, Supportive LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Supportive LXC, Canon Divergence, Inventor WWX, Possessive LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Fluff and Smut, Burning of the Cloud Recesses, Fall of Lotus Pier, Angst, Sunshot Campaign Not JFM Friendly, split into parts, Part 1 complete, Part 2 complete, Original Character(s)) The Lan clan loves talisman genius!WWX, & someone even notes that LQR is biased towards him

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 76k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX)

🔒The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 64k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

Just Say Yes series by edenwolfie (M, 338k, wangxian, canon divergence, matchmaking, pining, cloud recesses study arc, getting together, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, everyone lives au)

in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad)

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

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14. 👋🏼 Hiii

Itmf

A) Fics where Wei Ying has real siblings , they can be blood related or adopted Excluding jiang cheng and Yanli or any of the characters from the Canon. What I am looking for is OCs . And no transmigration

B) Fics where Wei Ying is blood related to the Jiangs not as son or anything but as cousin or distant relative or so . [If u can find something where the jiangs knows of this and are thus treat him nicely then plz

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 316k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Plot, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX's Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Honeymoon, Wangxian's Baby Fever) gives Wei Ying a sister who features heavily in later chapters

🔒Through the Storm by marhikit (T, 33k, WangXian, WX/OMC, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Not Jiang Family Friendly, WWX gets big siblings that love and adore him, JZX ends up with someone different, No Golden Core Transfer, Creepy JGS, JZX & WWX Friendship, WWX in a different sect) gives Wei Ying an adopted brother and sister.

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15. Hi! Im in the mood for a fic with animal transformation (for either Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji)like full on turn into an animal, any animal works- cat, bunny, fox etc. and the other having to take care of them until they find out how to turn the other back into a human

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

quarantine required by lazulisong (G, 1k, WangXian, cat fic, Animal Transformation)

Tales From Bunny Mountain by telarna (G, 5k, wangxian, JL/LSZ, JL&WWX, so many bunnies, lan buns, Tales From Bunny Mountain [Podfic] by esbielle)

🔒 and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen (T, 11k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Professors, Shapeshifter LWJ, Not Quite Necromancer WWX, Mutual Pining, WWX being an oblivious idiot, Fluff, Love Confessions, yunmeng trio, Family Feels, get JC therapy 2020, Kissing)

🔒💖 blue-ribbon bunny by cicer (G, 15k, wangxian, modern, shapeshifting, supernatural elements, fluff & humor)

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Minor pining, major shenanigans, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar, and getting subsequently rescued by your crush, there were in fact two beds, but LWJ knows what he's about, Blowjobs, Frottage, switch rights, Scent Kink, mildly telepathic sex, courtship via kittens)

Playing Possum by DizziDreams (T, 1k, WangXian, Modern AU, Crack, animal shifter wwx, sometimes meeting the love of your life looks like a naked man playing dead in your laundry room) should work but the human caring for the animal doesn't realize the animal has shifted from human in these.

Kitty-cat by canis_lupus (E, 98k, WangXian, WIP, Cat WWX, Modern with Magic, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, dom LWJ, Sub WWX, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jiang Family Dynamics, Abusive Jiang Family, POV Multiple, WWX Has ADHD, Autistic LWJ, Masturbation)

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16. Hello, itmf works where:

A) No sunshot campaign.

B) -Wei Ying reaches immortality young

Or

-Wei Ying loses/fractures his core due to Zidian

In both cases he tries to hide it

Thank you !

A) A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 74k, wangxian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP) I apologize for not quite understanding what they're requesting but if they're looking for both no war AND Wei Ying becoming immortal at a young age, then I recommend A Life Without Regrets

B) 💖🔒love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27) (link in #8) If they're looking for either A or B, I'd suggest love, in fire and blood for B. Sorry again for my confusion!

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17. Itmf some pwp fem!wangxian

give me one good honest kiss by occultings (microcomets) (E, 25k, Female wangxian, Rule 63, Femslash, Cisswap, Practice Kissing, Pining while fucking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sleepovers, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Strap-Ons, Semi-Public Sex, Lesbian Sex, lwj's canonical tantrum biting, the inherent homooticism of high school orchestra, the emotional catharsis of lesbians beating the shit out of straight men, College/University)

good friends by plonk (Not Rated, 11k, Female WangXian, WangXianJue, Modern AU, Gender Changes, A/B/O Dynamics)

Happy for Now by ScarlettStorm (E, 79k, Female WangXian, Rule 63, Femslash, Cisswap, Practice Kissing, Pining while fucking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sleepovers, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Strap-Ons, Semi-Public Sex, Lesbian Sex, lwj's canonical tantrum biting, the inherent homoeroticism of high school orchestra, the emotional catharsis of lesbians beating the shit out of straight men, College/University)

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[ekat-fandom-blog]

Mythical au

Alfred had been the guardian angel of the Wayne family for many centuries. He'd been worried that he'd be forced to watch over a different family after Bruce died, but luckily he'd decided to take in Dick then Jason then a whole slew of children after and he didn't worry about being taken from his family for decades at a time. There would be challenges, he knew, but nothing he wouldn't do for his family.

When Bruce brought home two half dead children, Alfred knew that they were going to be a permanent fixture in the family's lives even if Bruce insisted that he was only fostering them until their aunt could safely take them in.

↓ more ideas ↓

Alfred Guardian angel - has a human form, minor healing powers, minor precognition concerning their charges He's the guardian of the Wayne family and upon his "death" he'll go visit his previous charges. After a few years in heaven, he'll choose a new form and come back to Earth. Knows what species his wards are almost immediately, but tries not to say anything as it's typically considered rude to talk about someone else's species without them saying something first. He isn't aware that some of his charges have no clue they're anything other than human.

Bruce Human No one but Alfred, his teammates, and his children believe Batman is human. No one thinks Brucie could be anything but human. His kids have a running joke that he's not actually human.

Dick Selkie - seal that can turn into a human, in human form they have a coat, if a human steals said coat they can force the selkie to do whatever they want, can be vengeful and dangerous, are normally friendly helpful and attractive. He takes many precautions to hide his coat from everyone. He sometimes sneaks to the pool in the mansion to swim. Bruce didn't know for a few months. Jason didn't find out until before Ethiopia. Tim figured it out after one month. Damian didn't know until Dick decided that Damian wouldn't use his coat against him.

Jason Wraith - steals/hoards souls, holds grudges, targets those who've wronged them until they've captured their soul and can force them to wander outside of the spirit world for eternity. He became a wraith after being resurrected and is very vaguely aware of being one. He's definitely collecting and hoarding souls, but has no idea what to do with the souls he collects. His ultimate goal is to collect Joker's soul and force him to wander aimlessly for eternity. He absent mindedly tries to take any ghosts for his hoard whenever he zones out around them. The magic community and ghost community are aware of this very-much-alive wraith and have mixed feelings about it, but the overall consensus is that it's a bit funny. His family - except Alfred, Danny, and Dani - don't know.

Tim Sphinx - smart, guardian, can prophesy, ferocious, generous, merciful He doesn't know he's a sphinx. He gets glimpses of the future but doesn't normally say anything to warrant anyone becoming suspicious of him having prophetic dreams. If he was aware he was a sphinx, he'd be able to tap into his true form and become stronger, faster, and better at controlling his prophetic ability.

Damian Imp - crafty and mischievous demons with minor magical abilities and a craving for the spotlight, typically garners attention from those who want to enslave them, born pranksters, impulsive, good at shapeshifting and conjuring fire He's very unaware that he's an imp. Talia is also unaware. Ra's is aware and hiding the fact that they're imps.

Danny Halfa He's very confused about Jason being a fully alive ghost (almost, kinda). He does think it's funny when (in ghost form) Jason tries to add him to his hoard of souls when he's sleepy or absent minded.

Dani Will-o-wisp halfa - mischievous, sometimes they're reported to have led people away from their deaths and sometimes they are reported to be the cause of people's death mostly due to causing confusion in said people. Dani's aware of being a will-o-wisp, seeing as she shines brighter than Danny and has a propensity for wandering and mischief. Also, she was told about being a wisp by a wisp while traveling. She also thinks it's funny when Jason tries to add her and Danny to his soul hoard when he's sleepy or absent minded (when they're in ghost form of course, he doesn't react when they're in human form).

[rosegoldenatlas]

They're siblings, your honor

All of the hermits are one great big psychotic family. Here are the roles of the ones I know enough to point out properly and even reasoning. Might make this a foster au BTW.

Xisuma is the father, obviously. But like he's the kind of dad that works night shift just to see his kids more often. He's the kind of dad that adopts kids by pure accident. He's the dad that is always there to give advice and definitely got half of those tips from the internet and the other half from personal experience.

Doc is the eldest child, he was adopted by X because one day he just fucking appeared with his three friends at X's house (its basically a mansion because of how much space he needs to keep all of these kids in check) trying to steal food and supplies. He got caught because he hit his head on a doorframe an it woke up X lol. Doc would be like 17 in the au and he would immediately find a reason to not like Grian.

Beef is one of the people who arrived with Doc, he is on month younger than him and he's the reason X let them stay he night because he immediately invoked pity.

Etho also arrived with Doc, he is two months younger than him and he was supposed to be the only one going in to steal because he knew how to be sneaky but he had no conception of what was needed to survive on the streets so the rest had to join him.

Bdubs was the final person who arrived with Doc and he is a year younger than he rest of the NHO (he came up with the name in the au) Bdubs and Doc have this weird sibling rivalry where they'll have a huge argument over something important then Bdubs will ask for a ride two minutes later and suddenly all is well with the world.

Grian is classic middle child vibes except he's the kind of middle child that causes so many issues that he actually gets attention constantly. When Doc arrived (Grian was adopted a year before Doc was) he immediately accidentally broke Doc's robotics project he had been working on since before they met. Immediately he realized he effed up while Scar was only scared because Grian was. Grian is like 15 btw

Scar is three weeks younger than Grian and he is the kid who always gets in trouble for the most obscure things in school. Like comes home early cause he was suspended for creating a pyramid scheme for monster energy drinks kind of obscure. Also he has scammed most of his adoptive siblings out of their allowances.

Cub is Scars twin in this, he helped with all of the scams and pyramid schemes. But he never gets caught. Nobody knows how but he never got into trouble in school even though he sold pens that had test answers written on a piece of paper in them.

Cleo is 17 in this, she is the on who is put in charge of the house when X is gone because the NHO was deemed irresponsible after the incident which ended with Grian, Scar and Mumbo locked in a closet with the NHO taunting them through the door. Cleo is the only child who owns a car and the one who is consistently begged to drive people places. She has since used this to her advantage and now has the others pay by the mile.

Ren is younger than Cleo but is older than Mumbo, he apparently knew Doc before they were adopted and was adopted first. Ren is the classic theatre kid and does drama after school every Wednesday and Friday. One time he was supposed to watch the younger kids because X was at work, Cleo was shopping and the NHO group was doing stuff. This ended with X coming back to Ren about to be sent to exile (the yard) because he had crowned himself as king of the house and the TV remote was his magic scepter and he wouldn't let anyone else switch the channel.

Mumbo is a year younger than Ren and he used to be considered the most mature, for all of five minutes until he started doing things, these include; making a custom lock on his door out of rubber bands and twine which proceeded to somehow work two whole times before it ripped the doorknob out of the door, making a semi sentient robot out of an old furby and a gameboy, naming it Grumbot then adopting it with Grian, and then accidentally setting his curtains on fire while he was testing a homemade microwave because he wants one in his room but couldn't afford to buy one.

Pearl is the same age as Grian in this, she is labeled the demon child by every other sibling except for Gem and Cleo but she embraces the title. She is called this because she is known to bring dangerous animals into the house and her room is half full of terrariums and tanks of animals. She has brought in multiple spiders and snakes from outside and kept them as pets, she also has a running joke of taping objects to the ceiling so they're upside down. Her biggest prank was attaching everything in grians room to the ceiling including his bed and nobody except Doc, Cleo and Pearl herself know how it happened.

Joel is somewhere between Grians age and Bdubs' age. He is known for getting caught while pranking people in the house consistently. Which is a good thing because most of his pranks will end in something catching fire. He has started multiple cults and has convinced people to give him money to 'support the religion' He makes way too much money from it because he has multiple siblings convinced that the made up gods are real. He uses this money to buy insane amounts of Lego's to build with. He shares them sometimes. He also has a girlfriend at his school (Lizzie) and also whatever odd thing with his friend (Sausage bc c!Joel is probs poly) whom he has 'joint custody' over a small child they babysit sometimes.

That's all of the hermits in the au, here is all of their age in order of oldest to youngest ig

Xisuma (32)

Doc (18)

Beef (18)

Etho (18)

Cleo (17)

Bdubs (17)

Ren (17)

Joel (16)

Mumbo (16)

Grian (15)

Pearl (15)

Cub (14)

Scar (14)

And here is the order in which they were adopted;

Cleo & Ren

[Two months later]

Grian & Scar

[One week later]

Cub

[Three months later]

Pearl

[Two and a half weeks later]

Mumbo

[The next day]

Joel

[Seven months later]

Doc, Beef, Etho & Bdubs

Here is how/ why they were adopted.

Cleo and Ren were both originally foster kids and X was fostering them. They were about to age out of the system and be forced to live without any real help so X offered to adopt them.

Grian and Scar were runaways from their sucky homes and survived on the streets for a total of three days before X found them while he was at a picnic with Cleo and Ren. He took them in pretty quick.

Cub was actually Scars friend from school who tutored him sometimes, while staying over for dinner one night X asked about his home life. Cub explained that he had been emancipated and lived on his own. X offered to let Cub stay for a bit and Cub never really left.

Pearl just appeared in X's yard one day trying to catch a frog who had hopped into it. X was trying to find out where her parents were and she just sat there very confused on the concept of a parent and she claimed she had just appeared in existence one day. X was going to put her in the foster system but decided to just adopt her.

Mumbo was a kid up for adoption that Grian knew and Grian spent about three weeks convincing X to adopt him before X finally agreed.

Joel was found injured am knocked out in the forest one day and a pink haired girl (Lizzie) carried him over to the first safe looking house and knocked on the door. She was let in until Joel woke up, Joel said he was from space and X had decided that wasn't the weirdest story he's been told and yoinked him. X was close to adopting Lizzie until he found out Lizzie already had parents.

Doc, Beef, Etho and Bdubs were lab escapees who were apparently tested on in a shut down lab a few towns over. They had been living on the streets for a few months before they were caught trying to steal from Xisumas kitchen at five in the morning. They were adopted instantly.

Should I write this as a multi POV book of one shots from the same universe and put it on ao3? This is an idea just now occurring to me.

[sweetbillwriting]

In The Dead of Night

ELEVEN

Characters: AU Eric played by Bill Skarsgård from The Crow (2024)

Setting: This story is set in A WHOLE OTHER WORLD than the movie. Shelley isn't a part of this story. Eric will be different from the movie.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

×

“He was in a coma six months ago? For how long?” I asked in shock, but Robin didn't react to it.

“A month, I think? I learned about it after a couple of weeks. His friends didn't know if they should call me and... Heroin. I thought he had stopped with that shit, but one of his weird friends told me he had overdosed on purpose because of depression.”

I looked down at the ground, thinking back on my dreams. Could it be that Eric was in a coma? Believing he was dead? I dragged my hands over my face and shook my head in disbelief. I had started to believe the dreams were just dreams, but now I thought back on it again. The Spotify playlist, the name of his biological mom, the places and drawings he had shown me... Could he in some way visit my dreams while he was in a coma?

“Are you listening?” Asked Robin a little irritated, and I nodded.

“Yeah, yeah. It's just so much… He hasn't told me this.”

“He's probably embarrassed. He has overdosed twice and lived while other people who do something with their lives die of diseases. He gets saved.”

I sat with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, trying to digest everything. I started to get a headache from it all and dragged my hands through my hair, but still I had questions.

“Do you see him as your brother? You cried when you found out he was in a coma, but you talk about him like an invader in your family.”

Robin bent down in a similar way as I and looked down at Odin laying on the ground.

“No. He's just Eric to me. He's my parents foster kid, but he's nothing to me. I get that sounds harsh, but I never understood who he was as a kid, and then in my teens he moved in with us permanently and made everything difficult. But… They also favored him so hard. Dad cut down work hours to be home with him; mom was with him all the time, and they gave him expensive gifts, and we traveled more.”

I looked at Robin’s sad face and how he dragged his feet through the wet leaves on the ground. Maybe it was actually true? Maybe they actually gave Eric all that. I could imagine they wanted to give him all the things he had never gotten to lay a bandage over the abuse and trauma his mom caused him, but it was too much to not get Robin's attention. On top of that, Eric had magical powers? I wanted to laugh at my own thoughts but couldn't do that when Robin sat next to me, but it really seemed like Eric was something more. He talked with animals, was kind to everyone, liked by everyone, and could escape death and visit my dreams. He sounded like a Disney princess.

Robin was quiet just like me for a while, but he wasn't thinking about Snow White; he prepared a confession.

“I never told mom and dad I was gay... It would have given them one more reason to love him more than me. Instead, I was the weird one, never meeting a girl. Did you know he slept with my best friend? And later, two other friends. He was clearly straight and on top of that an asshole. Now he has slept with a fourth friend of mine…”

I looked at Robin up and down uncomfortably. I didn't want to believe Eric had slept with his friends, but I could also see how that could have happened. Eric had been tall, hot, and sexy since his late teens, and on top of that, he had taken drugs then already. I swallowed hard when I thought about how many he probably had slept with.

“I'm sorry, Robin... I don't even know what to say, but… He didn't know we were friends. I've lied to him too…”

Robin shook his head to himself and looked down at his hands playing with Odin's leash, then he sighed.

“I guess I can't decide who you date… But can you promise me you will never force me to like him? And that you're careful? He is an addict, whatever you say.”

I smiled with relief, happy to have his blessing, but it fell when I thought about Eric. He would never forgive me.

“I don't think we need to talk about that even… He will never forgive me…” I took a deep breath to calm myself down because I could feel the tears pushing behind my eyes.

“Ehm, before I talk about him, can we go home? I don't want to sit here and ugly cry in front of everyone.”

Robin nodded quickly and fixed Odin's leash around his hand.

“Of course, of course.”

We went to my home, and with a big cup of tea each, I told him about my love for Eric. How he had pulled me in at once and how I couldn't stop myself from loving him from the first time we met.

“I had these dreams about him when I thought he was dead and… He really was everything I ever wanted from a guy. Nothing like Dante, then I met him, and he was the same, and… He really sees me. He really cares for me, and even if you can't see it, he makes me feel safe.”

I cried so hard, I didn't know if Robin could hear me, but it seemed like it. He looked uncomfortable, even upset, but nodded slowly.

“I… Well, okay, I guess. If you feel like that, I will not say that it isn't true; it's just that I can't see anything else than how manipulative and selfish he is. That's my picture of him, but… Clearly, you see other sides in him…”

I nodded and dried my wet cheeks, but new tears came.

“But it's too late now…”

Robin shook his head.

“In rehab, they talk quite a lot about how to ask for forgiveness and to forgive others. If he learned anything there, he would listen. It's worth a try. You should call him.”

I looked at Robin, who met my eyes. It was big of him saying these things even if he didn't like Eric. Once again, I dried my tears, and then I gave him a hug. At least he was a true friend to me.

I waited until Robin had left to call Eric, and then a bit longer after that. I didn't dare at first. Maybe he was really angry and would curse at me. I wouldn't be able to handle that. I thought about leaving it be, so I could imagine him not being angry and grieve what was of our relationship. However, in the long run it wouldn't give me anything, so I collected myself and called him with shaking hands. I heard signal after signal, and the fourth I thought about hanging up, but just when the fifth started, he answered.

“Hey,” he said shortly.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Hey… Ehm… I don't know what to say, Eric, more than I'm so, so sorry for… everything,” I said with a dry throat and was forced to even cough after I had spoke.

“Yeah…” he said with his thinking voice. I knew he was in deep thought just in the way he answered.

“I love you. I love you, so so much,” I said desperately. Eric was quiet, so I continued to talk.

“I just wanted to be with you. From the first time I saw your photo, I was—”

Eric cleared his voice awkwardly. It was probably a bit much hearing me explain my love for his photo.

“Maybe, maybe we can talk for real?” He said it in a dreamlike tone, and for a second I would have believed he had smoked marijuana recently, but I knew he often sounded like that when he tried to master his big feelings and sensitive heart. “I can come to you tomorrow?”

My own heart beated hard. I didn't want anything more than that.

“Of course, of course!” I said excitedly, I couldn't contain my happiness.

“Good… I'm sorry, by the way?”

“What? For What?” I answered with a giggle, like he was joking. I couldn't control the euphoria I felt of just knowing I would be close to him soon.

“For what happened with Nick and all that… I guess drugs are the thing I think about when life sucks. Like when you had those extreme menstrual cramps and you asked for—”

“Stop!” I said with a loud laugh, and Eric laughed too. It was a joke, a joke about that time I had such horrible period cramps that my ass cramped so I had begged him for anal sex like it was the only thing that could save my life.

Fortunately, it subsided by itself before we had time to do it, and then it felt awfully scary.

I could hear Eric's sweet little giggle in my ear, and I sighed with love.

“I really love you the most in the entire world, you know.”

“I love you most in the entire world, too, babe,” he said warmly before we hung up.

×××

“I'm sorry, but it sounds super weird you dreamed about me,” he said after thinking about what I had said for a while. I had told him I dreamed about him, but I didn't dare say I believed it was actually him visiting my dreams. It would be too much and sound a bit like an excuse from a stalker.

“It was! After the first time seeing your photo, I started to dream about you, and you were amazing in the dream, just as amazing as you are now, and yeah, I just wanted to meet you for real. And you were so different from Dante. Even the person you were in my dream was everything I wanted.”

Eric looked at me with big eyes and nodded. He put down his cup on the coffee table, then he moved closer to me smoothly.

“You have said many times that Dante was a really bad guy… What does that mean?” He searched my eyes, but I just looked away. I didn't want to talk about Dante like that.

“You can talk to me… I hope you know that.”

I moved closer to Eric and looked into his kind eyes. I was safe with him.

“He hit me a couple of times.”

I looked at Eric's Adam’s apple bob in his throat.

“He hit you?”

“It was just a few times, but I provoked him, so it's just embarrassing to talk about. I don't want people to know how annoying I-”

“Hey!” Said Eric, upset, and it made me jump. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he said softly when he realized he had scared me. “No guy has any right to hit you, even if you're annoying as hell. I don't care what you say about yourself, he is the one in the wrong.” He looked at me seriously but suddenly looked scared. “You know I would never do that, right? I know people say it's a bigger risk for abused kids to become abusive adults, but I would never ever in my life do that. I would kill myself if I ever did that.”

His words were sincere and worried, and his face, cute. I kissed his full lips and dragged my hand over his smooth cheek.

“I know that, Eric. That's why I love you so much. I would never doubt your kindness.” I kissed him again, and it led to us making out a bit. I crawled up in his lap, and he took his chance to pull down my tank top straps so he could play with my chest with his big hands. His lips found a nipple, and once again he sucked so hard it felt like he thought his next dinner was there. I dragged my hands over his head and cradled him against my chest while he found comfort against me.

“My boy… I'm sorry for everything that has happened to you in life…” I whispered and made him look at me, still with my nipple between his lips.

“I'm sorry that your biological mom didn't treat you well and that you met so many others that have hurt you…”

Eric released my nipple and looked away but still lay against my chest.

“I know it's her fault I am the way I am. That I crave... That I need drugs to calm my loud thoughts down, but I'm not mad anymore. She was disturbed. She was sick. The men… They're just faceless idiots to me, so there is no one to be angry with.”

He sounded so mature and calm, and I felt proud and smiled at him a little. It would be a good person like Eric who could see life from that angle.

“But when you are depressed, what is that about?”

He shrugged his shoulders and sat up.

“Depression doesn't always have an explanation. It's just like everything drops for me. Like nothing is important. It just falls to the ground, and I can't see an end. Of course I can have nightmares about the men who kicked me around or the times Linda tied me to the radiator for a day or two.” I gave him an upset look, but he didn't seem to notice. “But it's not those memories that make me depressed. That's just my brain shutting off.”

Eric looked at me and then smiled a little.

“You don't need to look so worried; it was fifteen years ago. And Linda is dead. She died of a failing liver when I was eighteen or something.”

I nodded a little and patted his cheeks. It was hard thinking that a kind soul as Eric had gotten treated like that, and it made both my chest and stomach hurt. I kissed his lips softly a few times, but I noticed quickly that Eric wanted more than that. I giggled when he pulled down my tank top again to touch my chest and when he licked my lips to be able to get permission to dance with my tongue.

Deep tongue kisses made Eric pleasurably groan, and when I moved in his lap, I could clearly feel he was hard. I dragged myself over his sex and could feel his cock grow to its full size in the loose-fit track pants. Eric knew what he wanted but also what I wanted, so he stood up and let me hang around him like a koala bear.

“Am I not heavy?” I said with a giggle. I knew I wasn't for him, but I wanted to hear it.

“Fuck no, you don't weigh a thing.” He said, shaking his head. He probably knew I just wanted to hear that but answered seriously so it would feel even more real for me. I giggled and leaned back while being in his safe arms. I could lean back a long way, and Eric let out a sound of admiration.

“Fuck you're sexy,” he said, and then put me down in bed. His words made me feel my self esteem grow, and I smirked while taking off my clothes while lying in bed. I moved sensually, letting him be my small little audience while I started my masturbation show for him. Eric stood and looked at me with an open mouth and pulled off his big gray t-shirt. I looked at his muscles shamelessly, and even if he was so close, I fantasized about having him even closer. I sat up, drunk of hornyness, and pulled him closer to me with a grip of the elastic to his dark blue pants.

From his navel down to the hem of his pants, I made a small trail of kisses. I licked the lines going down to his groin while teasingly pushing down his pants with his boxers. Eric chuckled a little when I licked closer and closer to his loins and helped me take the last of his clothes when my lips moved closer and closer to the root of his cock. He kicked the pants and boxers away with his socks and then turned around. His idea was to just attack my lips with his, but I stopped him because I wanted to look at him. Eric scratched his ear while I looked at his body up and down.

“Damn boy,” I teased and bit my lip. Eric chuckled, embarrassed but also proudly. He had a hobby you could see clearly how much he worked on, but also, he won a lottery in anatomy.

“Can I fuck you now?” He said and moved closer to me, and I nodded with a giggle. With a smile, he kissed me and moved over me, his body so broad it felt like it swallowed me up. He smelled like one of his expensive perfumes, mixed with herbal tea, and even that smell was intoxicating. With a swift motion, he had pushed me down on my stomach in bed so he could enter me from behind while he held me close to his body. I wonder if I could ever get used to his size or strength. I hoped not because every time he was close, I felt so blessed and protected, and I hoped I would never take that feeling for granted.

×××

Eric fell asleep after our lovemaking; most of the time he had held me up against the wall, and I could see that would even be much for him, but I couldn't deny what a feeling it was to be held like that. I felt small and vulnerable in his arms, full, overwhelmed, and light as air. He had instead held me up by the thighs while also moving in and out of me with fast, hard strokes. No wonder he was tired.

I swept my finger over his nose, following the straight nose bridge out to the upturned tip. He wasn't bothered by it; he just continued to sleep. Warmth rose in my chest while I looked at him, but another feeling started to take over. Hadn't it been very easy for me to be forgiven by him? I had lied and gone behind his back, but he forgave me after just a few minutes, then slept with me in the best way. The last time I saw him, he had also laid in a bed but had asked for drugs. Did that craving just disappear? I thought back to the moment in his bed and what he had said. He had wanted the morphine pills he had seen in the bathroom. Pills I hadn't hidden away before his visit. I stood up from bed and pulled on a floral kimono as I walked to the bathroom on light feet. I know you can guess what I found—nothing. The pills weren't anywhere to be found. I searched over and over in the bathroom, but there weren't any pills. I could feel the panic grow because I didn't want to believe it, but still it was there; Eric had just forgiven me and slept with me to steal my morphine pills.

I stood and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, more or less waiting for the inevitable breakdown. I loved him so much, but he clearly loved other things more than me, even if he had said he loved me most in the entire world. I waited for the breakdown, but it never came; maybe it had just been too much the last few days and there were no tears left.

I walked back to the bedroom, where he still slept with just the cover on his hips. I looked at all the badly made tattoos, the clues to what life he had lived and probably would soon live again. I wondered if he was high on something while we slept together. Maybe it was amphetamine that gave him his stamina. I kicked his shin with my foot over and over. That was the only way I wanted to touch him; otherwise, I wouldn't be able to keep my cool. I kicked quite hard after a while to make him wake up, and after three hard kicks, he looked up at me confused.

“I'm sorry, have I slept a long time?” He said with a raspy voice and rubbed his eyes.

“Did you just sleep with me to be able to take my pills?” I said crass with furrowed brows. He sat up and scratched his chest. He looked adorable with his big eyes shifting, but for me, that was just proof he had taken them; he couldn't even look at me.

“What?”

“My morphine pills; you have taken them!”

“What? No?”

“God, I never thought this about you, Eric!”

“But I haven't-”

“Don't lie to me!”

“But I-”

“Maybe you are just the fucking junkie everyone says you are!”

Even if he was the one in the wrong, I swallowed hard when he looked at me hurt.

Without a word, he stood up and started to dress. My instinct was to say I was sorry and beg him to stay, but he had used me for drugs, so there was no hope for us.

I stood with crossed arms and shiny eyes while his naked body disappeared into soft fabrics. He walked by me without a look, out to the hallway.

“Can I have the pills?” I tried to sound cold but didn't know if I succeeded very well. The question made him finally look up at me with sad eyes.

“I don't have them.”

I sighed and looked down at the ground disappointedly. It wasn't like him to lie to me right in the face, but I guessed drugs made him into someone else. I looked at him while he pulled on his bomber jacket and turned on his heel to the door. The jackets were the only place he could have them, and for a few seconds I regretted not looking in his pockets but brushed that away; it didn't make any difference. Eric closed the door silently behind him; he would probably never be the kind to be violent in front of a woman. I stared at the door for a long time after he had left with tears in my eyes. I couldn't say why, but it felt like something didn't add up, but I tried to say to myself that it was just me who wanted it to be that way.

I sat down on the couch where our teacups still stood on the coffee table. I breathed heavily, trying to find acceptance, but it seemed like other thoughts knocked on the door and wanted in.

He hadn't even been in the bathroom. He had been by my side all the time.

I thought back to his visit, trying in every way to find a time he could have taken the pills, but there wasn't a time. In panic, I ran to the bathroom, looking again through every cabinet and box after the pills. I threw things out on the floor to see everything better, but they were nowhere to be found. I cried hysterically because I couldn't find an explanation.

“Maybe you are just the fucking junkie everyone says you are!”

Even if he was the one in the wrong, I swallowed hard when he looked at me hurt.

Without a word, he stood up and started to dress. My instinct was to say I was sorry and beg him to stay, but he had used me for drugs, so there was no hope for us.

I stood with crossed arms and shiny eyes while his naked body disappeared into soft fabrics. He walked by me without a look, out to the hallway.

“Can I have the pills?” I tried to sound cold but didn't know if I succeeded very well. The question made him finally look up at me with sad eyes.

“I don't have them.”

I sighed and looked down at the ground disappointedly. It wasn't like him to lie to me right in the face, but I guessed drugs made him into someone else. I looked at him while he pulled on his bomber jacket and turned on his heel to the door. The jackets were the only place he could have them, and for a few seconds I regretted not looking in his pockets but brushed that away; it didn't make any difference. Eric closed the door silently behind him; he would probably never be the kind to be violent in front of a woman. I stared at the door for a long time after he had left with tears in my eyes. I couldn't say why, but it felt like something didn't add up, but I tried to say to myself that it was just me who wanted it to be that way.

I sat down on the couch where our teacups still stood on the coffee table. I breathed heavily, trying to find acceptance, but it seemed like other thoughts knocked on the door and wanted in.

He hadn't even been in the bathroom. He had been by my side all the time.

I thought back to his visit, trying in every way to find a time he could have taken the pills, but there wasn't a time. In panic, I ran to the bathroom, looking again through every cabinet and box after the pills. I threw things out on the floor to see everything better, but they were nowhere to be found. I cried hysterically because I couldn't find an explanation.

“Maybe you are just the fucking junkie everyone says you are!”

I heard my own words in my head. Had I thrown that in his face, and he hadn't even taken the pills? He must have taken them. Where else were they? I needed to talk to someone, someone that could tell me I had done the right thing. I called Robin with shaking hands, sitting on the toilet lid with legs bobbing up and down in panic.

“My morphine pills were gone, so he must have taken them, but I don't know when he could have done it, but he must have, right? Right? I mean, where are they otherwise? He came here and pretended to be the perfect boyfriend again just to take them!” I rambled with a runny nose.

Robin was quiet on the line. I wasn't prepared for that; I thought he would just say I had done the right thing.

“I have them.”

I didn't understand what he was saying and furrowed my brows in confusion.

“What?”

Robin sighed deeply.

“I'm sorry, I thought I did both of you a favor by taking them away. So he wouldn't be tempted.”

“Huh?” My heart beated hard against my chest.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I had accused Eric of stealing my pills without any proof, and here I now sat with the truth. Eric was really the perfect boyfriend, but I had called him a junkie.

“I didn't want to do a thing out of it because I was afraid you would be angry if I said anything that could be critical to your relationship.”

Robin sounded sincere, but right at that moment I didn't care. I had called Eric a fucking junkie. I thought about his hurt expression but how calm he still continued to be. Always so respectful and sweet, even when hearing such things.

“Oh my god... Oh my god…” I said with a shaking voice and laid a hand over my mouth to cover my sobs.

“I'm really sorry, Della; this wasn't my plan at all!” Said Robin with guilt and stress in his voice. I didn't say anything because I was busy trying to control my tears.

“I would never do such a thing to you. Him, yes, but not you. I can punish him with mom and all that, but I wouldn't-” he interrupted himself, and I could almost hear his panic.

“...how do you punish Eric? What? How do you punish Eric??” I said, upset, and raised my voice. I had a bad feeling—a really bad feeling and ideas about what he had done to Eric spun around in my head.

“Nothing!” Robin sounded mad, but I was quite sure it was a way to mask that he had said way too much.

“Tell me now!”

Robin was quiet on the line. “Is it something about him not seeing Lotti? Huh? Have you kept them from each other?”

Robin sighed like he was irritated, but instead of saying anything, he hung up in my ear.

×

[polarspaz]

Some KnowingToomuch AU doodles!

Starting upper right: Tim somehow gets into a really nasty entanglement with another eldritch being, and the entity below Arkham forces Jason to change in order to save Tim. It works, but Jason doesn’t take the transformation well.

Tim’s purpose it to foster hope, to keep people resolute and loyal to Gotham, but Jason’s purpose is rebirth. He is the avatar of the endless cycle of death and rebirth that both heroes and villains go through. That means that even if Batman dies, Jason ensures he is brought back to life, but this also means he has to give the same treatment to villains and resurrect them as well.

The knowledge that he is the reason the Joker keeps coming back is enough for Jason to be pushed mentally to the brink and Tim panics. His whole mission was to keep his family from becoming monsters like him, and seeing Jason in agony is enough to spur Tim into a very erratic decision. 

He erases Jason’s memory of the experience. 

It is not easy, and Tim is stuck in bed for a week with a migraine that exists on multiple realities, but Jason is back to being human, completely unware once more. So Tim should be happy right? Well No, considering the fact he feels incredibly guilty for tampering with Jason’s memory and Jason? Well he’s not an idiot and knows Tim is hiding something from him.

The pic next to that is when Tim loses control of his form in front of the Batfamily for the first time.

It’s been 2 months since Tim changed and he’s been doing a great job at looking and acting completely normal, expect for one tinny, tiny, mistake he makes one night.

He is abruptly awoken from his nap and called down to the Batcave for an emergency. Still half asleep, he gets up and shuffles down there to see Bruce and Duck arguing by the computer. He yawns and stands next to Damian, only to have the younger give him a confused double take before asking. “Who the hell are you?!”

Tim rolls his eyes and goes to say something sarcastic but stops when he notices something, he is standing eye to eye with Damian. He takes a quick glance down at himself and realizes he is 13 years old again.

Dick and Bruce are now looking at him in alarm and Tim unconsciously shifts his form back into his current older self right in front of them. This of course causes things to get even worse and Tim just straight up loses control and shifts into his full eldritch form.

Knowing he can’t tell them the truth, Tim lies and says that his current state is because of a recent scuffle he had with a magic caster. The family buys it at first but as the months creep by and with no cure for Tim’s ‘condition’ in sight they start to get suspicious. 

-----

The bottom left pic, thelittle green monster, is Damian if he ever got an eldritch form. ((Damain is not old enough/entrenched enough to have a purpose bestowed upon him like the rest of the Batfam.))

And next to that is Dick still teasing Tim, even if they are eldritch horror monsters now. ((Dick purpose is to ignite joy and humanity for Gotham. His influence actually helps the rest of the Batfamily retain their human feelings and emotions. And just like Jason, this also benefits the villains too.)) 

And then next to that is Tim hanging out with Cass. Even with his new body, Cass can still easily read his body language and Tim finds comfort in that.

[definedareasofuncertainty]

WIP Wednesday: dragon au

The one in which Klaus and Caroline hate each other, but their dragons are mated, so they are now forever tied to each other ✨

-

“Well, this isn’t ideal,” she said, because someone had to say something.

And it didn’t look as though it was going to be him, with the way he was sitting there, his eyes closed. Even after he was the one to pull her into this empty classroom, claiming that they needed to talk.

Klaus opened his icy blue eyes then, fixing them on her as she leaned against the wall, arms crossed in front of her body. “Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed.”

She huffed. “You know, I knew you were an asshole, but I wasn’t aware you were so fucking dramatic. Nothing has to change. You keep to yourself, I keep to myself. Caerulus and Astéria deal with their marriage bond or whatever on their own. There, done.”

He gave her a saccharine smile. “Right. And when I graduate next year and you’re still a student, and suddenly the two mated dragons don’t live together anymore, is that still done? Or even worse: when you graduate as well — if you get that far — and the royal family is forced to foster a Forbes under our roof, is that resolved?”

Caroline pushed from the wall, a growl escaping her throat as she reached for one of her daggers. The way he spoke of her family – as if they were less than. As if he had any right to–

Klaus rose from his seat, and she felt her blood begin to boil in anticipation. It wouldn’t be the first time they had gotten violent.

“Nothing has to change?” He challenged. “This has to change.” He gestured between them. “Running you through with my sword would be a lovely way to solve all of my problems, sweetheart, but I can’t. Hurting you would hurt Caerulus and, in turn, that would hurt Astéria.”

“Which would in turn hurt you,” she concluded.

“Yes,” he said. “So let go of that fucking dagger, will you? This is not resolved, Caroline. Nothing about this is simple. You may have bonded the most powerful dragon in your year, but that will only make you a bigger target. The ones who envy you will try to prove that you can be defeated. And the ones who hate your family…” Something dangerous glowed in his eyes. “They will kill you to make sure we do not have another deserter leading a dragon away from our realm.”

She gripped her dagger again. “My father was not–”

“And now I,” he continued as though she hadn’t spoken, “will have to make sure you don’t get killed. You are still weaker and have less training than the others.”

“I defeated you in combat, remember?”

Oh, how glorious it had been to dig her dagger deep in between his ribs. It had taken them dragon magic and six days to heal the precious prince.

Klaus bared his teeth at her. “Only because you poisoned me first.”

She shrugged. Playing fair was not a requirement in this school. And she would not lose to him again. Humiliation still painted her cheeks red at the memory of his dagger in her abdomen, and her dislocated shoulder throbbing in pain as she passed out on her very first challenge this year.

Caroline sighed. “Aren’t they supposed to be wise? How the fuck did they think trapping us together was a good idea?”

He scoffed. “I asked Astéria that.”

“Yeah, how did that go?”

“Fruitless. She told me not to question a dragon’s choice.”

She fought the urge to roll her eyes, if only because she had a feeling Caerulus would know and would not appreciate it.

“Well, then. What do you have in mind?” she asked, the words passing through her teeth as though it pained her to say them. Because it definitely did. She had never, ever wanted to ask Klaus Miakelson’s opinion on anything.

He looked at her as if he was assessing her; and whatever he found, he seemed to think she was coming up short. Gods, she wanted to fucking punch him.

“Every morning, an hour before your chores, you will meet with me.”

Her glare could probably burn through iron, but he seemed unfazed. “Why?”

“So that I can train you.”

[4thebedrockbros]

The obligatory SBI Hogwarts AU ( fuck jk Rowling tho)

With Phil, a war veteran as a defense against the art teacher, Tommy as a too powerful Gryffondor/Hufflepuff ( not sure ABT that one ) and Technoblade as a cursed Slytherin.

Technoblade is a pureblood with a family into some cult shit ( blood god ect ) that was supposed to be sorted into Ravenclaw but practically begged the hat to put him into Slytherin because he did nit want to deal with his family bullshit. With than the curse of voices, he gets into fight fairly often which causes him to almost always be in detention. ( That's how he meets Tommy and Phil )

Tommy Innit is a muggleborn just a wee bit too powerful and uncontrollable magic, that gets him into trouble at school but also in his everyday life in the Muggle world where he's a foster kid. ( Try to be a witch and a foster kid it's a pain in the ass ).

Philza Craft is a veteran, and also a crow animagus that's been requested to become a teacher at hogwart because the Minister of magic are a bunch of pussies scared of some prophecy. He's a defense against the dark arts teacher and also is responsible for the detention classes. Tommy and Techno basically becomes his responsibilities and if something happens with them he's called immediately ( before their families yes ).

As for other characters:

Tubbo is a pureblood Ravenclaw, and he's terrifying. The guy likes to create spells and testing things he probably shouldn't test with magic. He's also Tommy's best friend and would do anything for him. They meet while shopping for school necessities their first year and become unseperable.

Ranboo is a half blood Hufflepuff/Gryffondor ( again unsure ) with a powerful magic, to cope with it his body just erase memories of times he couldn't control themself. They meet Tommy Purpled and Tubbo in the train during their first year.

Purpled is a muggleborn Slytherin, he wasn't too shocked to develop magic because of all the weird shit around him during his childhood. While people think Ranboo is the most responsible out of them, he takes care of his friend in his own way and is the most responsible one.

Nikki is a pure blood Hufflepuff with a knack for healing magic. She's one of Techno's closest friend and will defend him against rumours spreading assholes.

Slimecicle is a ghost of a Ravenclaw student, thought he tends to hang out in the Slytherin dorms the most to hang out with Quality. When he's not there he tends to spy on students or spook them for fun.

Quackity is a pureblood Slytherin that used to be a dick to Techno but calmed down after getting his ass kicked. He gets along well with Tommy when the blonde didn't know what happened between them but once he learned Toms kinda kicked his ass verbally so they're not as close.

Sam is Charms/Potions teacher that took Tubbo under his wings to avoid mass destruction. He the second teacher to go to if the quatuor of chaos gets in trouble.

Ponk is our resident nurse of course.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

hello!! I hope you are doing well

this is more of an ask than a request but given their occupations in the modern au it seems unlikely that the M6 would meet each other, but how do you think the M6 would meet??

whether it was during childhood or as adults

this just seems like a fun little drabble/hc, ofc if you're not up to writing it that's perfectly ok/g 🥳🥳

Phew, this ran away with me, but here's a modern pre-prologue setup for you anon friend!

Julian and Portia are siblings, of course, who lost touch when he went off to college and med school for that student debt life (and stayed out of touch because Portia resented him getting the opportunity when she's still struggling to pursue her education). They've since gotten back in touch and Julian is being allowed to help with the application process.

Nadia and Lucio met in the back of one of his nightclubs because she was the highest paying VIP member and he recognized her family name and figured he'd do some networking. It quickly devolved into drunken complaints about parental pressures and expectations and led to the infamous Vegas drive-thru wedding we've all heard about. Nadia stuck it out because she wanted to stick it to her family and needed space to build her own legacy as the city's mayor (backed by Lucio's network), and while it wasn't ideal it worked because she lived at her office and he let off steam with one of his business partners (Valerius).

Their marriage ended on paper when Lucio faked his own death in an arson case because his tax evasion was catching up with him.

Asra and Muriel grew up in the foster system together, Asra's parents having gone missing when they were a child and Muriel being an orphan. They attended the same highschool as MC, whose aunt would often open the back room of her shop to them when they needed to study together (or just a safe space). When they aged out, Asra was able to access his inheritance and used it to buy a piece of land with a crumbling old house on it that Muriel found for the two of them to work with.

They started out working evening/night shifts at clubs together, Muriel as a bouncer and Asra at tables, while Muriel put himself through community college on a scholarship for biochemistry and environmental science. Asra eventually achieved underground success as a DJ, and after getting his degree, Muriel moved to working full-time on their property to transform it into sustainable living research.

Asra started doing magic shows at kid's parties as a favor for a friend, and found that the pay was better than expected and the event was plenty of fun. Now they DJ and magic on their own schedule and rent a studio apartment in the city to save themself the commute.

The property Muriel works from is still owned by both of them, and between the royalties from Asra's mixes, the rapidly accumulated value of the compound Muriel's built, and Muriel's ongoing research, the two of them live comfortably at their own paces. They both keep in touch with MC, though Muriel much less frequently so because he's so hard to reach. Asra's highschool crush on them never disappeared and he often uses his unusual schedule to avoid them for a month or two, because he's in denial about it being more than a crush and he's terrified of losing half of the closest thing he has to family.

Asra and Julian knew of each other from kid's parties they both attended (Asra as the magic show, and Julian as the pediatrician who the kid considers a dear friend), but officially met when Nadia hired both of them after Lucio's arson and fake death stunt. She needed to investigate the circumstances of Lucio's death, which needed Asra as an inside informant on general behaviors in the club and Julian's opinion as an expert in crime-related injuries from his previous stint in forensic medicine. Julian developed a habit of stopping by for drinks after a long shift and the two had a brief friends-with-benefits situationship while the investigation was ongoing. They ghosted each other to focus on their personal lives when it wrapped up, and Nadia (who had become a dear mutual friend) was too busy juggling being mayor and managing Lucio's business to keep in touch.

During the last week of the investigation, an abandoned warehouse right next to the arson scene blew up when a forgotten pile of explosives triggered several weeks late due to Lucio's sloppy planning. Asra, Nadia, and Julian were right next to it when it happened, and would later find out that MC, Muriel, and Lucio were all nearby for their own reasons as well. While several of them sustained severe concussive injuries which messed with their memories, MC took the worst of the blast and ended up in the hospital in a comatose state.

Asra blamed themself for it because they'd been going through a period of trying to (and failing) to forget about them (again) and found out that MC had texted them their location after they thought they spotted Lucio and decided to follow him. He had a bit of a wake-up call watching them in a near-death state in the hospital and realizing that he was the only listed next of kin. They took on the role of MC's caretaker for the long recovery process, moving them into their flat, and eventually helping them take over their aunt's old shop for a steady source of income and independence.

Portia and Nadia met when Portia quit her Home Depot job to work in the mayor's office. A visiting constituent was so impressed with her efficiency and people skills that they suggested she apply to a recently-opened secretarial position. Portia took it for the pay increase and did her job so competently she rapidly rose to her current position as Nadia's personal assistant. Nadia has slowly become aware of Portia's interest in veterinary work and, without Portia's knowledge, is planning to add a new benefit to her position that lets her work part-time and go to school fully funded.

All's well, until the city's mayor comes knocking on a neighborhood shop's door after hours because Lucio's been spotted meeting up with Valerius, an ongoing business partner, and MC was a forgotten key witness ...

[baambastic]

Woo Be Upon Ye:

Medieval fantasy TimKon AU where Kon is a half-dragon prince of the realm who elevates commoner Tim to the Royal Guard on a whim. Also has Bart as an apprentice mage, Donna and Cassie as Themiscyran ambassadors, many of Tim’s school friends as Royal Guards, Wildcat as a mentor, the Daily Planet staff as the royal council, and more! Planned as part one of a four-part series.

Bernard Dowd vs. The World:

After hearing Tim’s many, many, many stories about his friends, Bernard realizes that almost all of Tim’s guy friends were hitting on Tim at multiple points. Failing to convince Tim of this, however, Bernard makes it his mission to obtain written testimonies from as many of said friends as he can to support his case. Such friends include Superboy, Danny Temple, Sebastian Ives, Lonnie Machin, and more.

Two for the Price of Them:

In this AU, Tim’s 100th cloning attempt is a success, and so clones of both Kon and Bart are created. Partway through the artificial aging process, however, an agent of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. (overhauled from the same metahuman-abduction organization from the New52) attacks. Tim is forced to go on the run and off the grid with the two clone babies.

The World Didn’t Stand Still:

When Kathy Branden plugs a Phantom Zone Crystal into her teleportal and visits the Phantom Zone, she comes back with a young Krytonian boy, Chris Kent, who claims to be the foster son of Clark Kent and Lois Lane. Effectively taking pre-boot Chris from after his debut story and transporting him into post-Rebirth continuity. Part of a planned trilogy of fics centered on Chris. Guaranteed that they will not end with Chris getting punted into the Phantom Zone for an unknown length of time.

The Dichotomy of Lor-Zod and Chris Kent:

In post-Infinite Frontiers continuity, Lor-Zod begins getting flashes of a life before his own, of a life where he was family to the loathsome Kal-El of the House of El. Lor’s father, Dru-Zod, convince Lor that his affliction must be the machinations of the Justice League’s Martian Manhunter, a psychic attack meant to weaken New Kandor for invasion. Along with Non as a chaperone, Lor-Zod goes on a quest to hunt the Martian Manhunter, though he’s really on the path to restoring his pre-boot history and identity, and all the internal conflict that comes from the contradictions between his two selves. Effectively how I would approach reconciling the current iteration of Lor-Zod with Chris Kent. Guest-starring Martian Manhunter and M’gann M’orzz.

The Cola Caper:

Upon hearing the devastating news that an embargo on the island nation of Santa Prisca will halt the distribution of Zesti Cola in the United States, Dick and Tim go on a mission to infiltrate Santa Prisca and abscond with as much Zesti as they can, and maybe even the secret recipe if they’re lucky.

Stray Little Tiger:

A Billy Batson-centric fic placed in a Stray!Tim Drake AU. Selina Kyle, on her way home from a caper, comes across a lightning-struck boy in an alley. Clearly homeless and in need of help, she decides to take the boy in until he’s healed, though the lightning seems to have severely damaged his vocal cords. She doesn’t know that this boy is Billy Batson, that he’s Captain Marvel, or that there’s something deeply wrong with the Rock of Eternity. This story is told mainly from Selina’s POV, with occasional sidetracks to Tim’s POV, but never Billy’s POV. Identity shenanigans, found family, magic problems, and more.

A Single Word Spoken:

A girl in the shape of a weapon is brought to Fawcett City, where she fulfills her purpose for the first and last time.

The girl who can no longer be a weapon hides from her wielder in an old subway and finds herself transported to a place of great magic.

There, the girl who wishes to be more than she was made to be finds a Wizard, who sees the girl for her heart and not for the blood staining her skin.

The Wizard teaches the girl a name.

Cassandra speaks her first word.

And in so doing, she speaks power.

Also featuring Cass navigating the anachronistic Fawcett City, befriending Billy Batson, codependency issues, an old man who’s also a Bengal tiger, ancient grudges, a different old man who’s barely qualified to give Cass life advice, and more.

Fake it For the Win:

While on a cruise, Tim and Kon decide to fake being married in order to compete on an onboard game show for married couples. When they actually win, though, they have no choice but to keep up the act for the rest of their trip. Fake dating to real dating, with a focus on comedy.

Crossroads of Fate and Eternity:

JLI-era fic with a couple of canon-divergent indulgences. Kent Nelson, helped by Khalid Nassour, decides to take Billy Batson under his wing as a student of the mystic arts. Magic lessons, Tower of Fate and Rock of Eternity shenanigans, Bromfield family stuff, an ancient entity and an ancient demon, philosophy, and other such tidbits.

A Little Ways Along the Family Tree:

When a villain travels through time to the future and accidentally takes Robin with him, Damian Wayne must team up with Mar’i and Jake Grayson to defeat the villain and return Damian to his proper time.

A High-Speed Romantic Tryst on an Open-Water Murder Shack:

When a couple of thugs steal a houseboat belonging to one of Tim’s marina neighbors while he and Bernard are hanging out, the two of them give chase in Tim’s own houseboat. Comedy, crack treated seriously.