#madeline partner

[judgingbooksbycovers]

The Story of Jane: The Legendary Underground Feminist Abortion Service

By Laura Kaplan.

Design by Madeline Partner.

[wahlpaper]

Sizzle Reel Review

Sizzle Reel by Carlyn Greenwald

CW: Drinking, Heavy Drinking, Swearing, Described Sexual Content, Forced Closet-ing, Forced Outing, Toxic Work Environment, Queerphobia, Anxiety, Described Panic Attack, Money Problems, Unemployment and Firing, Queerphobic Microaggressions, Ethnic Microaggressions, Vomit, Dubious Consent, Dysfunctional Family Dynamics, Antisemitism, Deadnaming, Gaslighting

4.5/5

I'd like to start off this review by talking about the cover on Carlyn Greenwald's Sizzle Reel. It's the reason I decided to read it. I knew it was queer and potentially forgot that it was Jewish, but that cover was in my mind for months as I waited for the audiobook on Libby. Created by Madeline Partner and Maria Nguyen, the cover features a gorgeous red-head standing in the front with two attractive love interests off to the side. One love interest is giving off Kristen Stewart vibes. It's all bathed in pastel pink and orange, adding the beauty of a sunset to it. The typography is having a little bit of fun without taking away from the rest of the cover. It's a queer paradise and I'd love to see more covers like this.

Here's a blurb about Sizzle Reel, assuming that you need more than a cover to judge a book. For two years, Luna Roth has been suffering through an abusive Hollywood job that isn't even in her field of cinematography. When she meets Valeria, rising star and potential member of the queer community, everything starts to change. Luna has only just come out as bi at 24 and feels she needs to "catch up" on experiences. Her friends work to hook them up, whether it is professionally or intimately. While Luna is facing her job changes, newly-public identity, anxiety, and family problems, her best friend Romy has been acting strange. Will Luna be able to keep her life from falling apart while everything around her changes?

One thing that stood out to me in Sizzle Reel was how the choice of first person POV affected the tone of the book. Although Luna never directly says she has an audience, she knows how to interact with one. She's quite expressive and is honest enough with us that we can see past what she's hiding from herself. Most of the time with first person, that character either breaks the fourth wall or is only going along with I/me pronouns because the author made them do it. Luna being between these options makes for a great narrative and is absolutely in character. She's a cinematographer who's written by a member of the film industry. Essentially, this book has a complete aesthetic you're likely to get hooked on. Greenwald originally wrote Sizzle Reel to be a script, and while it was translated to a novel beautifully, that intention still shows.

Sizzle Reel is about things not being what we expect them to be. This goes for both the audience and the characters. I technically guessed the ending, but I kept changing my mind about it. I worried for nothing that things would pan out unrealistically or that I'd hate the outcome. Luna is trying to figure how to live in the queer community now that she's out. She's only getting advice from one biased queer person and it isn't helping her anxiety. She's receiving a lot of overwhelming input about what she should be doing. This goes beyond just being about her bisexuality. I have a feeling Greenwald was writing to an audience that already knows what anxiety is like. I could relate to Luna's thoughts without them needing to be explained to me. She just wanted to do the right or perfect things, hopefully the easy things. It all made her more confused, doing things the harder way, and unable to easily explain herself to others. My empathy for Luna made some parts of the book hard to get through, but witnessing how everything comes together made it worth it.

I mentioned earlier that I potentially forgot this was a piece of Jewish literature. I don't remember how I discovered this book, if I knew it was Jewish at the time I decided to eventually read it. Either way, it came as a pleasant surprise for me when I began reading. Luna and her best friend, Wyatt, are both Jewish. Luna and I both focus more on the cultural aspects of being Jewish, but she still had a different perspective than I've had. I love reading a variety of Jewish literature because it lets me see my community from different eyes. If you're looking for a Jewish queer 20-something as a main character, definitely try out Sizzle Reel.

This story touches on several timely queer topics and misses out on one I wish it would have addressed. Luna's arc is mostly about the queer panic I've mentioned previously, figuring out how to engage in the community and learning to prioritize herself. Valeria's arc is about being forced back into the closet by Hollywood, a place that the average right-winger assumes is leftist. Luna faces some of this toxicity herself. Romy's arc is about being out to her extended family as non-binary when she's still figuring out her relationship with gender. Unfortunately, despite Luna being extremely demi-coded (likely unconsciously), the asexual spectrum isn't directly brought up in Sizzle Reel. I believe if someone had suggested demisexuality to Luna, she would have had some of her anxieties lifted. Overall, I loved the amount of queer rep and topics Greenwald covered. It was all appropriately wrapped up with the last words in the book, "queer bliss".

Carlyn Greenwald's Sizzle Reel is a great book to read if you're looking for a slightly unpredictable Jewish queer romcom that uses Hollywood/Pasadena/LA as its background. Considering that's too niche to be likely, hopefully I've painted a tempting picture of the novel for you. Love triangles, urban exploration, and info dumps about the film industry await you. So, ready, set, action!

[zvmz]

Why did EAH characters get arrested?

[kodasea]

AMA FILES #1 (2021)

[foolsabode]

You ever think about old classic cartoon show that everyone remembers Skunk Fu? Yeah me neither

[campgender]

from Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold (1994) by Madeline D. Davis & Elizabeth Lapovsky Kennedy

excerpt 1:

All narrators, butch and fem alike, remember and talk about the violence in relationships of the tough crowd in the late 1950s and early 1960s. It was a public part of community life. This does not mean that all butches of this crowd and period hit their fems. In fact, we know some who did not. But the possibility of using violence was integrated into the culture.

Butches not only talk about others’ violence, but openly acknowledge their own, although they have neither the words nor the stomach to discuss it fully. “And there was also violence. There was a lot of violence… What will I talk about? Do you want to sit around and talk about, you know, the girl that you punched in the face because she did something wrong, you don’t want to say all that. But it was very violent” (Vic).

Violence in relationships is not only taken for granted as part of the fabric of late-1950s social life, but also is dramatically marked in people’s memories. Little Gerry, hearing a draft of our work, urges us not to cover up the violence, and immediately shares a vivid and unpleasant memory of “a butch taking her fem by the hair and bashing her head down on the bar. It was not nice.”

excerpt 2:

Vic remembers learning to hit her fem as part of the cultural package of becoming butch, like how to dress.

“When you ask that question, where do you think that people, like myself, that came out in the ’50s, where do you think I learned how to act and how to deal in the bar?… From the butches that were around from the ’40s and early ’50s, that’s where I learned. I seen them. They were gods to me. And I seen how they treated their people and I did the same thing that they did. They were the ones that would, you know, ‘Fems, don’t let her do that, you tell her to sit down, and that’s it. …’ Well how would I know, I was just coming out, how would I know that? Hit my girlfriend, I would never hit her. She might leave me and she’s the only one in the world. But then they taught me, you wear your hair short and you dress like this and your woman does this and that. They’re the ones that showed me how to—what I should be like, to be right up there with them.”

[solacedeer]

@floydsteeth thank you c: Also i should prob tag @mllorei and @m-mmiy since they asked and i didn’t answer question so heres some general Info about the fun stuff___

- Born in Rhodolite, closer to the southeast, In a town almost entirely made up of farmers

- Circumstances lead to her just leaving home super young, hitching a ride with some vintners who’d only been passing though town and were headed to a farmers market.

- Ended up staying with said vintners, they put her to work tho.

- When they had to go she wanted to stay in the capital because there weren’t any big libraries a walking distance from where they were going. Found out she did NOT like being alone.

- ‘hitchhiked’ away. Ended up on a random boat. Was really bad with harpoons. Can’t swim. Still can’t.

- when she asked them to teach her to swim they said ‘No. Just don’t fall in’ so she didn’t fall in.

- Ended up migrated to Tanzanite by her late teens early twenties. Since she is extremely receptive to any and all attention praise community she naturally gravitated toward the people who dedicated their time to follow Azel around. He likes that she can strip fruit really fast.

(small note; - She does genuinely believe in Azel though, she can’t think of a reason believe a god wouldn’t want to be incarnated.)

-

— ☆

I described her as like a dog or a parrot as opposed to being cool because she isn’t cool.

I’ve drawn her on my blog in the past but she’s always with Keith so she’s always got a stupid silly blank blissed out blank happy face so random info__

- For routes i always have a first Phase where her names Dimitri and then she gets called Demelza be because I’ve done that since forever, Demelzas her real name though.

- I consider her to be an Egotist, not at the expense of anybody and in such a small scale that its probably not all that different in practice then Altruism. But its still there. Because my oc’s need to suffer under the weight of their minds a little

- She fidgets with her gloves, Pinches the skin underneath, Pulls them up against her wrists, Rolls her fingers into the fabric of them.

- Extremely sentimental, still hums Oh my Darlin’ Clementine like the Ladies would while they were working whenever she’s focused. Still likes to watch people cook. Still a little comforted by the sound of crickets from a distance. Very regimental

- Good with first aid. Knows which plants are antibacterial/anti inflammatory + works as a great bandage. Had to adapt to different materials in Tanzanite.

- Good at Playing things off, her caretakers never knew much about her because she’s good at avoiding the truth. As for lying shes got too many tells.

- Overall more of a River then a Lake. Faster moving, ebbs and flows. Extremely aware of the emotions she’s having.

-

- Demelza (last name was Aster but im considering changing it just because that goes WAY back to when I was using her as a MYSTIC MESSENGER oc so)

also heres a better edit of her face. I’d changed some parts because it made sense geometrically but did it make sense within my heart 🤔 ? no- it did not.

[sphnyspinspin]

Priscilla Bishop Pynch…

Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

@geluatekurama @luciolefire @asmoteeth @novafire-is-thinking

[fierykitten2]

Sometime two years ago (I specifically remember it was so early on in the SV hype cycle we didn’t know Paldea’s name yet. So basically anytime in the first two thirds) I made a post where I assigned starters to the trio I refer to as “the Afterthoughts” (Falcon, Samus and Fox. I call them that because Nintendo doesn’t seem to like their sci-fi series much. Metroid’s an exception now but it’s had some problems with it in the past too). Now, I want to assign starters to the characters I ship them with the most - Robert, Madeline and Falco for the sake of this post I’m gonna pretend I prefer SamusxMadeline to FalconxSamus. There are some patterns again I’ve unintentionally fallen into - Falco almost always has the same starter as Falcon even in regions without a birb start, Madeline frequently has the same starter as Samus and Robert… well I guess he tends to default to Fox’s starter but I’m not really noticing when that happens as much as I am with the other two (I am slowly noticing every time I fall into that trap). Also I could have waited an extra few months so that I could make sure to assign them starters in a way so that they each get a Z-A starter like how I’m doing for both trios with the Hisui starter trio but I came up with the idea today so I’m doing it today

Kanto:

Robert gets Bulbasaur

Madeline gets Squirtle

Falco is left with Charmander

Johto:

For some reason I’m really tempted to give Robert Cyndaquil (this has nothing to do with their eyes I just think until it evolves Cyndaquil gives off some kind of Fennekin vibes and there’s no way I’m missing the opportunity to pair the guy who owns the Golden Fox with a starter that reminds me of Fennekin)

Madeline gets Chikorita

Falco is left with Totodile (I swear I’m not always saving him til last)

Hoenn:

Falco has to have Torchic

The other two are hard to pair up but I think Madeline only just works better with Mudkip than any of the other three possible pairs

Robert ends up with Treecko. This annoys me because this is who I paired Falcon up with (for reference he does end up with Blaziken it’s just I decided there would be a whole trade thing going on in Hoenn after they’ve all had the chance to fully-evolve their starters). The strange thing is, this is the only pair in Hoenn that annoys me for that reason despite all of them having the same starter as their partners pre-trade (Samus starts with Mudkip and ends up with Sceptile while Madeline gets Mudkip, Fox starts with Torchic and ends up with Swampert while Falco gets Torchic, Falcon starts with Treecko and ends up with Blaziken while Robert gets Treecko)

Sinnoh:

Falco gets Piplup

I just think Robert makes most sense with Turtwig out of all the Sinnoh starters (even Piplup)

Madeline is left with Chimchar. I hate it too but someone has to have that ugly monkey

Unova:

Robert and Snivy

This is mainly because I worked out the other two Hisui starters first but Madeline gets Oshawott

Falco is left with Tepig. I don’t understand this pairing either

Kalos:

Robert has Fennekin. There is no way he doesn’t get Fennekin

I guess Madeline and Chespin makes sense. Why not

Falco is once again left with the starter I paired up with Falcon - Froakie

Alola:

Falco and Rowlet (this one was obvious bc birb but can I please pair him up with a starter that I haven’t paired Falcon with)

Somehow I just think Madeline most makes sense with Primarina so she gets Popplio. She’s either nicknaming it Melissa or Samus even though it’s most likely male

This leaves Robert with Litten. Given out of the three of them he matches Incineroar’s build most… idk what to say about that I just wanted to point that out

Galar:

I’ll be honest this one was the hardest to pair up. Robert and Madeline both seem like they’d be sympathetic enough to choose Sobble but in the end I decided to pair Robert with Sobble

Madeline gets Grookey

Falco finally doesn’t share a starter with Falcon as he gets Scorbunny instead (genuinely this is the only region he doesn’t share with Falcon. No one shares with their partner in this region bc they all get the starter weak to their partner’s choice. Also somehow I forgot that my ships and who seems to align most starter-wise is not the same for the blue birbs and gold foxes so I accidentally ignored how both Robert and Fox have ended up with Sobble)

Paldea:

Falco once again shares a starter with Falcon - Quaxly (good choice though. Not that I ever give them a bad choice the two worst starters belong to Samus/Madeline although I don’t like Totodile that much)

Robert and Sprigatito. It makes slightly less sense but I actually prefer pairing him up with Spriggie than I do pairing him up with Fennekin (few reasons: a) I prefer the Sprigatito line, b) it matches my insistence on Falcon having a Quaxly/Quaquaval, c) I tend to ignore Skeledirge’s existence while thinking about Meowscarada and Quaquaval and this just gives me an excuse to do that)

Madeline is left with Fuecoco. Once again, I hate that I have to do this but someone has to end up with the ugly croc

And then Hisui is Robert with Cyndaquil, Madeline with Oshawott and Falco with Rowlet

Yeah sure I can count up just how many times Robert shares with Fox, Madeline shares with Samus and Falco shares with Falcon:

Robert shares five six out of eleven (I’m gonna count Hisui separately and I’m counting Hoenn twice) with Fox - Bulbasaur, Turtwig, Fennekin, Litten, Sobble and Sprigatito

Madeline shares six out of eleven with Samus - Squirtle, Mudkip (pre-trade), Chimchar, Chespin, Popplio and Fuecoco

Falco shares nine out of eleven with Falcon - Charmander, Totodile, Blaziken (post-trade), Piplup, Tepig, Froakie, Rowlet, Rowlet again and Quaxly

[sunskate]

will be interesting to watch these teams grow and to see what benefits they get from being affiliated with IAM in coaching, in guidance, and how many graduate to the main school eventually

so it turns out that at Championnats, all 16 senior teams and 7 of 9 junior teams ever entered in the competition were IAM teams 😅

[mmelolabelle]

The gentle, encouraging nod Claudia gives Madeline when Santiago offers her the chance to renounce Claudia and join the coven just breaks me – not just because Claudia’s used to not being someone’s first choice and expects Madeline to take the offer, but because she loves Madeline and wants her to save herself. Claudia is a little older than Madeline, and has much, much more experience of horror and violence, and better understanding of what is about to happen to them. She gives her lover permission abandon her and save herself and smiles when she does it. When it comes down to it, nothing to be done and no way out, Claudia is willing to let the person she loves, the one person that’s hers, go and leave her.

Which makes her a stronger person and much better partner than Lestat, Louis, or Armand. For what it was worth (nothing and everything) in that moment, right and the end, she broke the cycle. Claudia loves better and truer than any of them — and I hope it fucking haunts all three of them forever.

[kodasea]

Closed Cases #1 (2020)

(Special mention that the blue haired child is @novakyuu 's character!)

[foolsabode]

@effkaytales is just the absolute best

[gh-0-stcup]

I think it was done to show Madeline has an indifference, selfishness, and lack of moral fortitude that makes her compatible with the lifestyle of a vampire. She's detatched from life, from the people around her. She doesn't care about the politics of the war or the suffering the Nazis are causing, she just cares about what makes her feel good.

Neither Claudia nor Louis care about the Nazis aside from how inconvenient the war makes their traveling. None of these characters are emotionally invested in the political situation of the time, so it doesn't get addressed in conversations between them.

God. I think having watched S2 of IWTV, I did love it but I just have one big caveat? Which is Madeleine?

To be clear, I did love Madeleine! Fucking heartbreaking how she and Claudia went! I love a tragedy, but god if I hadn't been happy if they'd somehow made it. I think she's an interesting study of a post-liberation french person jaded by war.

But that's also the issue?

I don't think she deserved the fate collaborators (as in those who had a gainful relationship with Nazis and Petains lot during ww2) got, and I'm sure a lot of collaborators who were just trying to survive (as in people who let Nazis stay in their home or exchanged small personal favours for food and supplies they might need to survive) didn't deserve the way the mobs treated them after liberation, but she was still someone who invited a nazi officer into her house, not because she was truly and unfortunately in love or because she needed to survive, but because, in her own words, she felt lonely.

She was with a nazi officer because she was... Lonely. And they don't even explore it! They don't delve into it! Like it was used as a plot hook to give Claudia a reason to save her without actually looking at the ramifications that shed been with a man who mightve shot (or at least tried to shoot) Claudia! You can't just... Skip over the fact that someone was a collaborator when looking at post-liberation France. That war ruined and tore apart families just like the US Civil War did as some were fine with or even directly supported the Nazis and the Vichy government and others fought and died trying to expel them from french soil.

Anyway. I just. Idk. They glossed over something with huge social and cultural weight in that setting and it's just bad taste in my mouth, I suppose. The way the show portrayed the retributions also just garners sympathy for people who sometimes sold out their own family members to the Nazis, and the only anti nazi representation are three enragé who break into a house to try and rape a woman.

Ah well! Good TV show. Just didn't love that facet of it.

[campgender]

Why would the violence and the solidarity that was central to the lesbian confrontation with the straight world be turned inward toward fems? This aggressive and confrontational culture placed the butch in the vulnerable and stressful position of defender of the community and promoted the fem as the highly desired, but unreliable, refuge or source of security.

As the decade progressed, the butches’ full-time masculine persona isolated them completely from society, to the point where many could not hold down jobs. Their confrontational approach to straight society gave rise to a consistent challenge and danger from straight men. And, of course, the increased time in bars promoted greater alcohol consumption. Such a situation promoted self-hatred and insecurity.

Sandy identifies the reasons for violence in relationships as the guilt complex she and her friends had about living off their fems. “A lot of times you get to feel like, when a girl was working—you get like a guilt complex. Like, ‘Why can’t I make the money?’ So you even would start a fight.” Vic attributes the violence to tremendous insecurity.

“Most relationships were very violent at that time. And I think that’s what happened to most people. I don’t think it was money or jobs or society or anything else, it was just a very insecure time that you were going through. When you loved somebody you owned them, it was an ownership. This is my woman… She knew that. When a woman got in a relationship with a butch she knew she belonged to them. And that’s how it was.”

In this situation, fems were the only source of beauty and joy in butches’ lives. But in this culture, which was expanding its boundaries, fems, by definition, were unstable “possessions,” who had to be watched carefully and defended rigorously, lest they be lost. Their sexuality was in question in basic ways due to their heterosexual pasts and also to the association of many with prostitution, not to mention their active sexual lives in the lesbian community. Butches, many of whom had little of material value, including good jobs, warily protected all that they saw of import in their lives—their fems and their relationships.

from Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold (1994) by Madeline D. Davis & Elizabeth Lapovsky Kennedy

[kyumisyumi]

Tentacles and Tendrils

Shaking off the rust and giving monster smut(writing in general) a shot again.

Prompt: monster partner is in rut/heat and the partner has to deal with it

Rating: 18+

Monster type: M!Merfolk x F!Reader

Word count: 6k

~Taking requests~

     You stare out at the unending, blue horizon. The cool ocean breeze preparing you for the temperatures of its water as you linger along the edge. You wore the company certified diving gear: a wetsuit, mask, BCD, the works. A spear weighed down one hand while a cylindrical container weighed on your shoulder. Hope and pessimism fought to be at the forefront of your mind as you scan the empty waters with heavy disappointment. This area was always relatively vacant, but not too far off you can spot a duo entering the water with matching gear. Their actions take you out of your haze, and with another gauge check you finally approach the water. Getting a feel for the sea's surge, you make your way in. And with practiced hands you slipped on your fins before turning to greet the seas with outstretched arms.

     Beneath the blue your body instantly goes into autopilot. Swimming was as natural as walking and these seas might as well have been a second home; a wayward beauty that will switch it's mood at a moments notice but home nonetheless. You took it all in, familiar as it may be, the ocean never stopped being a sight to behold. A world beneath our own full of wonderful blues, outstretched greens and terrifying blacks. The current had a bit of force behind it but nothing near the cruelty you knew any large body of water could deal. Your darting eyes couldn't help but search around, scanning everywhere for even just a hint of... There! You moved with haste. As much as you could as a land dwelling animal in aquatic terrain. You didn't get far before the shape you eagerly chased revealed itself to be just a particularly thick and unruly swatch of seaweed. You sigh internally before resolving to begin your original task.

     Nearing a gorgeous station of coral, you couldn't help but linger and watch the busyness. Schools of varicolored, itty bitty fish swimming through the equally colorful pseudo-flora. Despite your love for marine life, you never quite learnt the names of all the little guys much less how to differentiate between them, say for a handful that stick out. Your interest was usually for the larger lifeforms mother nature had to offer; you smiled as you watched a wary grey eel eye you with suspicion. Soon your eyes fell upon your reason for being here. It's bright red colors were slightly muted by the depths, with white tiger stripes outlined by black to break up the pattern. Its form was lined with spines and frills that flowed and fluttered with each graceful swish of it's body; an absolutely gorgeous creature. You readied your spear. The black strap trigger pressed into your skin as you carefully aimed, hoping not to hit anything but the target. It helped that the lionfish lingered in one spot before you speared it. You moved to put it in the container before opting to offer it to the eel you saw earlier. As gorgeous - and delicious - as they were, these guys were invasive here and the effects of their persistence was a constant strain to the native wildlife. They seemed highly concentrated around this sandy patch of substrate, driftwood and dead coral. It didn't take long after the first few kills for one of your friends to make their way over. Gently, you caressed the top of the nurse shark eyeing your spare eagerly, this one you named Lisa... or maybe it was Madeline. It was no surprise your face blindness extended to animals as well, even the cute ones that made your dives feel a little less lonely. The creature began gliding and swirling around you. You liked to believe the fondness was mutual but it was equally likely they were just in it for a meal. You speared another lionfish and offered it to the grey and white cutie.

     The spot you were in. The shark. The scenario. It brought back the memory of the first time you saw him.

     Back then you were collecting lionfish, same as now with a duo of nurse sharks tailing your every movement. At the time you were overly cautious, so you'd sit in one place, removing the venomous spines of the fish before handing them over. You could see him out of the corner of your eye, he'd been there for quite a while, watching you. From his position partially behind the rocks, you'd think he was hiding -or rather, on the defensive- but you just can't imagine something that big and powerful hiding from tiny 'ol you. Yes you had a spear but you doubt it would do you much good if he decided to attack. Merfolk. Given your job at the Aquatic Wildlife Center you were relatively familiar with them. Your company was more than welcoming when programs were made for them- as well as the other species- who showed interest in coexisting during the realm migration. The Merfolk you were familiar with, however, had to undergo numerous lessons on etiquette and culture to live among humans. The one near you now... The word 'feral' came to mind. You didn't quite like using such an animalistic term towards something that looked a little too human, someone that you knew had equivalent intelligence. His skin was primarily muted greens with a burst of parchment white down his chest and undersides of his arms. Unlike the fish tails merfolk were known for, this one's body ended in a myriad of tentacles, not unlike an octopus. Height wasn't exactly something you could measure but in terms of body mass he was more than twice your own. He seemed to tense any time you held direct eye contact so you settled on keeping him in your peripheral and keeping your movements slow and measured. You're not sure what he wanted but if he was content to just watch you, you didn't mind.

     The next time you went out for a dive he'd made another appearance, this time resting on the rocks instead of behind them. Looking at the way his tentacles gently swayed against the current, you realise the way they'd writhed restlessly the day before may have been a sign of anxiety. It tickled you that somehow, in his mind, you were a threat to be worried about. You'd never even been in a proper fight. His relaxed demeanor gave you a bit of courage and you contemplated offering him one of the lionfish but ultimately chose not to. Doing so would feel as though you were treating him like an animal at the petting zoo. Then again, he was watching you like an animal at a regular zoo, keeping his distance as if he thought you'd lash out at any opportunity. You focused on the task at hand. Either the sharks had developed more patience or they were full from yesterday, this time they seemed more interested in dawdling around and getting pets than playing Russian roulette with your spear. You'd gotten into a rhythm of pull, aim, release as you moved slowly across the sandy substrate with him never too far behind.

     On the third day he was almost as close as the sharks were. There was still a respectful distance but you'd only have to reach out your hand to touch him. Despite your determination to hold strong as he approached there was a hint of fear in your eyes when he first got closer. He wasn't threatening but the size difference was all to blatant up close, his chest so broad and arms so thick you didn't doubt they could snap you in half like an oatmeal cookie. In response he seemed to try to make himself look smaller, drifting at a lower level so that his head wasn't much higher than yours. This gave you a good look at his features, he had round pupils unlike the rectangular slits you associated with octopi, his sclera was a light grey and his irises a saffron yellow on downturned eyes. He didn't seem to have any patchwork of iridescent scales like your work colleagues. His eyes aside, everything about his face was sharp, from the hooked nose to the prominent chin and brow bone. As curious as you were, you tried not to look any lower than the slits along his neck; gills, in case your gaze made him uncomfortable. You briefly wondered if he'd try to say something once he got closer but he didn't, he just looked back with a gesture you interpreted as 'continue'. So you did.

There actually weren't anymore lionfish nearby so you decided to take a moment to clip the spines of the one on your spear, hoping to feed it to Joel the eel... or maybe this was Geoffrey. He took this lull in your movement as an opportunity to interact. You stared wide eyed as his hands reached out. It looked as though he was going to reach for your spear but thought better of it and reached out for your free hand instead. He took your smaller hand into his much larger ones. He inspected each finger, pulling them apart and tracing the curve in between, where his held a thin membrane. He ran a thumb over your blunt nails, where his held thick black claw. His movements were slow - cautious - and you get the feeling that it was more for your benefit than his. Wary as you were, you were equally enthused to learn more of the  man... fish... octopus being before you.  He inspected the sleeve of your wetsuit, running his fingers over the material. When it seemed like he was going to pinch the fabric between two claws you tugged your hand away, shaking your head in hopes the gesture was universal. Thankfully he understood. He then circled you to take in the rest of your form, a possible sign he understood touching anywhere else on your body might be unwelcomed. 

Unsurprisingly, he took particular interest in your legs, watching the way they swayed to keep you afloat. He didn't touch you yet you somehow felt pressure over every inch his eyes laid upon. Was this how your coworker felt during those awkward introductory meetings where there would always be one person asking to touch their fins. The memory made you giggle and the merman suddenly shifted his focus from your legs to your face. Your breath caught as his eyes focused on yours, it was mesmerizing how they looked as fluid as the ocean; the colors swaying as the black center zeroed in on you. For a moment you wondered what did you look like through those eyes. He raised a hand to rest his knuckles against your cheek. His gaze then lowered to your lips. Your body -so ready to flee when he first approached- now froze. No matter how much you tried to reinforce that his actions were of innocent curiosity you couldn't stop thinking they weren't. Or maybe you just hoped they weren't. Oh dear. Before you could figure out where your head was at, he pressed a thumb against your lips. There was a subtle shift in his features as he stared at you intently. A question? Was he asking to kiss you? Your heart sprinted. He wanted to kiss you... and you- you were actually considering it. You must be insane; yes you thought he was gorgeous in a unnatural -captivating- way but you weren't going to kiss a creature you haven't known for more than a few hours. You hadn't even exchanged words with him. Words... Oh! That was it! You would've face palmed  if your hands weren't occupied. He wished to speak, and prior knowledge reminded you that merfolk could adapt a language through lip contact. Well, that cleared your brain a bit. If that's the case surely you could spare your lips for a moment. It wouldn't have to be long, just the slightest peck was enough. A fraction of a second. He was patiently awaiting your answer, somewhat pulling back as if to tell you 'no' was a more than acceptable answer. With a tad more hesitation you finally nodded. You pulled out your mouth pieces, angling it downwards to prevent excess air loss. Trying to show some initiative you moved closer but you just couldn't bring yourself to close the kiss. Graciously he did and your lips met. Your rushing blood brought heat straight to your cheeks. It was such a minute amount of contact but your body responded as if he was already tongue deep inside. You felt... something. Like faint streams of electricity that moved from the corners of your lips to the center before vanishing. You figured it was the magic at work, now would be the time to move away but your body and brain can't seem to get on the same page. Or maybe they were on the same page and the voice telling you to move away was something foreign, something unwanted. You opened your eyes to see his, half lidded but looking at you with an intensity that couldn't be misconstrued. Neither of you wanted to break the contact. You're not sure where the confidence came from but just as you moved to press closer to him, your lungs reminded you where you were. They called for oxygen. It took more effort than you would like to admit to pull away from him and return your regulator to your mouth. You looked back at him to see his fingers pressed against his mouth, eyes swirling with mixed emotions. Maybe it was your eyes playing tricks on you but you swear he licked his lips. His adam's apple bobbed in his throat and he moved his lips as if testing the motions.

     "Can you understand me?"

     You nodded in the affirmative. And by Gods, the smile on his face could outshine the sun on a clear summer morning.

     This opened up the pathway to your budding friendship. Underwater, you couldn't have full conversations but with the barrage of questions he had there was hardly a need to speak. It especially amused you that he had to confirm that you were indeed human. Do humans walk everywhere? Do we forms pods? Do we dream? Do humans fly was a weird one to answer under the limitations. It was an eye opener to the fact that you were as alien to him as he you.

     At some point you remembered that you were on a timer and though there wasn't really a quota, resurfacing with only four lionfish would definitely not look good for you. You went back to spearing, trying to be quick while he asked about this and that. It only got better when you finally resurfaced. You perched on the old abandoned dock, it was barely more than a couple planks of wood hanging on for dear life. You were especially glad that this area remained as vacant as when you left so you didn't have to worry about worried/wondering gazes at the two of you.

     Unfortunately diving was only something you could do 2 maybe 3 times a week, it was essentially a freebie session offered to break up the office work you dread. Still, even after you clocked out, you'd take a stroll to that same dock where he'd be waiting beneath the surface. You learnt that, though most merfolk would declare otherwise, his species wasn't rare. Just distant and reclusive. The only reason he was close enough to the shore to spot me was because he seeked a precious stone to complete a trade. Based on his description you believed it was Larimar or Blue calcite, which you may have in your personal collection. When you asked why he decided to approach you, his answer was a sideways glance and a shrug before quickly changing the subject. There were moments, you noticed, when he'd rest his arms along the wooden planks and caress your overhanging legs. The movements were slow and feather light, almost absent minded. It made your mind fuzzy, you wished to just close your eyes and focus on nothing but the feel of his skin against yours. Occasionally, he would gently rake a claw over your soft skin and you'd try your best not to trip over your words. In return, you'd run your fingers over the mix of tentacles and tendrils that sprouted from his head- similar to hair. The prehensile limbs would wrap around your fingers. The gestures were unmistakably intimate but neither of you spoke against it. Amongst the many questions and conversations would be these moments of content silence, these you treasured most. His hands on you, your hands on his, as you both enjoyed the world around you and each other.

     Now those memories fill you with a hollow feeling in your chest. It's been almost a week with no sign of him. What had you expected, really? He has a life down below that he has to attend to after all. Even you have missed a day or two. What if he's hurt? The question gnawed at you many times these past few days; you despised the small part of you that preferred that outcome over having been left behind. But then the idea that somewhere down there he was facing unknown perils that you'd have no means to help him with would solidify in your mind. No, you'd rather the hurt of having been abandoned. Summoning your mental fortitude, you aimed to focus on the task at hand before you accidentally harm one of the sharks by being distracted. There was a new face this time... at least you thought they were new. They nuzzled your body as if sensing your distress and to your delight; it helped

     Seconds dragged into minutes then hours before it was time for you to get out. You wished you could say you were strong enough to just go but instead you swam around for a bit; hoping. Praying. But there was nothing around except you, the water and your pitiful heartache.

     Above land you safely shed the equipment. The smart thing to do would be to go home as soon as possible. To finish your day, change your clothes and curl up in blankets while playing some video games. However, you've always been a creature of habit so instead you sat at the old dock. Alone. The sun was so warm but the winds were relentless, they licked at your skin as if trying to shoo you away. Maybe this was Poseidon's way of telling you to get over it. It's not like there was anything between the two of you. You'd only known him for a handful of weeks after all, that's barely enough time to form a friendship much less... As if shutting down the thought, your brain replayed a memory of him pressing his face against the palm of your hand with pure bliss etched into his features. As if your touch alone could push away all his problems. Then there was the time you touched your forehead to his during a momentary spur of boldness. The look he gave you spoke so loud in the silence. You would've kissed him then if not for your shyness winning  out. That was one of the last moments you'd shared before his disappearance. A treasure in your heart that now caused you pain. Packing up your things, you got up to leave, however something clutched your ankle. Something, rather, someone you recognized all too well.

     You gasped violently as you were dragged down. Thank goodness you did because it was all the air you'd get to take with you in your rapid decent below. He shifted so instead of being pulled by his tentacles, you were fastened to his side by a firm arm. He stared straight forward as he swam, allowing you only to see the tendrils whipping around the back of his head. You could hardly process how fast you were going down the bottomless blue. The water shifted from a bright, comfortimg azure to ultramarine as you went deeper and deeper. Your panic rose the further he swam, which did your lungs no good. Was he trying to drown you!? You couldn't call out, couldn't scream so you tugged and pulled at his thick, unyielding arm, trying desperately to get him to stop. He turned to you then, there was a look of pained and haunted thoughts scribed into his face. The lovely grey of his sclera had darkened into a soulless black making the yellows of his eyes that more vibrant, almost glowing in the waters inky depth. The word 'feral' again came to mind as he blinked his second eyelids. He looked at you and looked at you and looked even more. As though his eyes processed one thing but his brain was stuck on something else. It took a moment but he finally said your name. Not said, growled it. His usually velvety deep voice was now strained through gravel. He pulled you closer to him and buried his face in your hair, your heart would be fluttering were it not currently banging in your chest wondering where the hell was the oxygen it ordered. You tried, you really did, to struggle against his hold. Hoping he'd wake up from whatever spell he was under and bring you back to solid ground. Hell, you'd make an attempt to swim for it, knowing how futile it would be. But once his long tongue was on your throat you became putty in his arms. You feel three distinct fingers rake against the other side of your neck as he nipped at you. You can't tell if your breath hitched or your lungs made another vain attempt to reach for air. You raised a trembling hand, trying to alert him to your situation but he seemed solely focused on tasting your skin.

     "Breathe." He spoke in-between licks, his tongue venturing down to your clavicle, and you wondered if he'd actually gone mad. His hooded eyes met yours and he repeated the word.

     It didn't matter anymore, the choice was no longer yours. You had held onto that final breath for dear life but it was time for that life to come to an end. A stream of bubbles left your horrified lips as you now fought not to breath in; that was a far shorter battle. You inhaled, preparing for the sting of water invading your airways in it's rush to your desperate lungs. For your body to heave and cough as the waters reminded you you were not it's friend but a guest who had overstayed their welcome. Would your body float up to be picked at by birds or sink to be fodder for the sea floor scavengers? You waited and waited. But... It never came. You, somehow, were breathing air. Opening your eyes in confusion, you looked around to see if you were suddenly back on land, if all this was some dream or hallucination spurred on by your guilt and heartbreak but no. You were still surrounded by the open seas and all it's inhabitants. Your breaths felt slightly strained but you weren't going to complain about life saving miracles. Especially when a giant tentacled man was tracing his finger down your spine. Now that your life was no longer at risk(mostly) you calmly rest your palm against his head, trying again to get answers out of him. He stilled, dissolving into your touch as he had many times before. You saw a bit of clarity in his eyes before he closed them.

     "I'm sorry." He said after a moment, his voice was lustful and strained, like a warning sign dipped in want and desire. "It started; my heat. I tried to stay as far away as I could but when all sense had escaped my mind the only thing left were thoughts of you." He pulled you closer, his eyes remained closed as if one look at you would break the little control he had. "I thought I had overcome it when I began searching for... Methods for you to survive beneath the waters. But the moment I had my answers it overtook me. It possessed me. It still does. I want you...desperately but only if you'll have me."

     You listened to his words, in confusion then understanding. Then you actually understood! Oh! Suddenly your body had forgotten all it's woes, focusing on your core instead. He wanted you. You bit your lip in thought, noticing that the water couldn't pass some unseen threshold of your mouth. You wanted him, you couldn't even pretend to deny that but... Was there a 'but'? You searched your tainted mind for excuses but your brain and your body were again in unison, the only outlier was you. You slid your hand up his face and caressed a cranial tendril, he opened his eyes and you felt his body vibrate. Purring.

     You didn't have the courage to look him in the eye when you spoke. "I will." You consented.

     He was on you instantly. His lips crashed into yours with reckless need. There was no slow build up, no questioning nor tentative tongue touches. His tongue snaked pass your lips and devoured you in kind. His large hands ran down either sides of your body, meeting when they both grabbed at your ass. There they lingered, kneading your flesh through the stretchy materiel, before one devious hand ventured even lower. You felt him slide a finger along the fabric covering your sex. Back and forth, his finger glided creating a nice little friction that almost touched your eager clit. Your hips moved on their own, seeking the contact. You craved more of his touch and suddenly the thin, synthetic rubber was a dense barrier. As if hearing your thoughts, there was the slightest pinch against the crook of your behind before a sudden coldness seeped in. You could feel him carefully swipe his claw to just above your clit, creating a opening in the fabric. The new sensation of cold wetness against you warm sex made you gasp but it was soon replaced by the warmth of his... hand? No, the texture was far different. Before you had a chance to investigate, the feeling of suction against your clit gave you all the answers you needed. Something between a gasp and a moan left your lips, the sound must've pleased him greatly because he tore himself away from your mouth to look into your eyes. The limb covered your whole sex, with the tip lightly teasing your entrance but it was that one suction cup upon your clit that was really putting in the work. It took a rhythm that was brain meltingly pleasant against the sensitive bud, thoroughly teased by his phantom touches prior. A sudden surge of pleasure began to build causing you to reflexively try to squeeze your thighs together. However, the  action was impeded by two tentacles quickly wrapping around your legs to keep them parted. They squeezed as if to reaffirm their hold on you. He took your chin in his hand and watched you intensely as you came undone from the stimulation. His grip was light but unyielding when you tried to turn away. Closing your eyes would lead to him stopping completely until they fluttered open again to meet his. He would take in every dip in your throat, every curve in your lips, every crease beneath your eyes and flush upon your cheeks. He wouldn't miss a moment of your first orgasm at his hands. His gaze was dizzying, as if whatever possessed him was now reaching out for you.  Having him inspect you with such cold fondness only made the experience that more salacious. The rising tide of pleasure finally crashed and you were left a buzzing, panting mess. With a look of gratification he released your chin, wrapping his arms around you once more to knit your body to his.

     "You're so beautiful." He cooed before trailing off into words of his own language.

     You didn't get a moment to say anything back before you felt something probe against your opening. One of his tentacles slid inside you fully, welcomed and aided by the slick lube of your still pulsing walls. You shuddered in his arms, thankful for the support. It was a comfortable fit and suddenly you're reminded that it's been ages since anyone has had you like this. It made the experience slightly more alien atop the fact that you were being intimate with a lust driven sea-beast. Rather than the expected thrusting, the appendage grazed along your insides. It twisted and pushed as if getting a feel for you, learning you before pulling back out. The sudden emptiness made you whimper, you looked at him, ready to beg if need be but it didn't come to that. You felt your entrance being prodded again. It was the familiar tip of a tentacle, ready to enter you once more. However, the more it pushed, the wider it got; so very much wider. And Gods, it held a bumpy texture that was absent before. Just as your mind went hazy you realised it was two of them, wrapped around each other. It finally gave you the thrusting motion you desired, it's ribbed texture grazing parts of you that remained untouched for too long. Your movements were limited but you attempted to grind against each wonderful thrust, moaning your delight with feather light whispers. This was all too good, soft and pliable enough that it writhed inside you but firm enough to press against your hungry womb.

Despite all senses seemingly being focused on your trembling hole you felt something press against your stomach, forcing it's way into the tiny space between your body and his. You peek downward to see the spearheaded tip of what you assumed was his cock. Suddenly, his preparation of your cunt made sense, you'd expected him to be big but geez. It was identical in color to his body, darkening at the tip in a similar fashion to his fingers. It throbbed and twitched as he began to grind against you. Even with two tentacles stretching your insides, your greedy eyes craved the feel of it. Craved the connection to him. You reached down and grasped it at the base, shock almost pulling you out of your haze when it wrapped around your hand. It tightened as if begging for more of your touch. You acquiesced and began running you hands up and down his massive length, taking great pleasure in the way his body vibrated with resonating groans. His thrusts inside you growing wilder, taking you further and further and you were determined to take him with you. His voice held a softer, pleading tone as it goaded you on, praising you between strained hisses. His cock swelled and hardened, his words devolving into senseless mumbles. The limbs inside you became more erratic as his pleasure grew. His grip on your body tightening to the point of leaving small tears in your suit and nicks in your skin. He released a long animalistic huff as he coated your arm in slimy white fluid, your body responded by coating his tentacles with your own. You rest your head against his chest, moving in time with his heavy breaths, counting them as you both recovered. You're not sure when he began moving you but suddenly you were face to face. He kissed you. Slowly. Gently. Tasting and savoring you.

     "Do you think you could take me, my treasure, or do I need to stretch that greedy hole of yours even more?" He asked between kisses.

     Words were beyond your tired brain so you just nodded. As spent as your body was, this moment would not feel complete until he was inside you. Slowly, as if moving you too much too quickly could break you, he turned you around so that your back was pressed against his chest. He snaked his hands around you -he really did seem to love having his arms on you-, one hand moving to grope your breast while the other traced a line down your stomach to caress your mound. You feel his lower half angle itself to bring his leaking member to your slick opening. Oh so slowly you feel him slide into you, spreading you wider with each inch. You couldn't help but try to squirm against him but his hands held you steady. He was only half way in when your body began to show resistance. He started pulling out slowly and thrusting into you, getting a little bit further each time.

     "You're being so good for me." He whispered just above your ear, his voice held a lovely cadence. Singsong; as if haunted by a melody that compelled his body to move.

     You couldn't hear it but you felt it, it rang through your body with each sway of your hips and out your lips with each whine. Down to the way he held you, like an instrument to be adored. Every moan a crescendo and every voice stopping bite at your neck a diminuendo. He was playing you and you were loving every moment of it. In and out, in and out like he was timing bars on sheet music. That was up until the flat, tapered tip hit the deepest part of you; he'd hilted. Then everything stopped. Fermata. You're only warning for what was to come were the tentacles that slithered around your legs to ground you. You hardly even felt him pull out, just the force as he thrust fully into you. The sound that left your mouth was a guttural whine of shock and pain. He kept going.  Slamming. Pounding. Taking your body over and over. It hurt and yet you desired more. He fucked you like he was craving this moment his whole life. Your body eased and the pain slowly dissolved into pleasure, never quite leaving but become something more. Something better. Something wholy obscene. Your body was an inferno in the cold, dark water. Pleasure overtook you; you no longer felt like a person, just a mass of emotions and senses. You could hear his grunts and growls behind you, the sounds he made were truly animalistic. Wild. Primal. Savage. As though he couldn't fathom being anything but a creature of vulgarity. Couldn't fathom doing anything but driving himself into you. Desired nothing more in the world than to fill the emptiest parts of you. Your walls tightened around him, as if intending to learn every bulge and vein of his cock. Pulling and sucking him in with no desire to let him go, that was where all your strength went. You felt the recognizable build of another orgasm and judging by way his pliable member was now a hardened monolith, he wasn't far off.  He no longer needed to lead, you danced with him as you both came together. His seed seeped out of him, filling every bit of (nonexistent)space inside of you before oozing out. He continued to thrust, making sure you milked his cock for everything he had. It's throbbing was like a heartbeat inside you.

     You collapsed against him, laying your head flat against his chest, your cheek barely touching the flesh above his heart. After a moment you looked up to see him already staring down at you, the affection in his eyes fueled your already thrumming heart. A moment of tenderness as the tainted waters surrounding you both whisked your indecencies away.  His sclera lightened to their usual soft grey. An eagerness popped up on his face as he seemingly wanted to ask you something then but thought better of it. A somber look taking over his features instead. Using what little strength remained in your body, you turned fully to him. He immediately took your head in both his hands and rest his forehead against yours.

     "I- Did i hurt you?"

     "Did-" You gave him a droll look. "Did you hurt me??" You flicked his head. Well, you tried but there was less than no force behind your fingers. "Of course you did. Lucky for you I enjoyed it."

     "I'm so sorry, I'll be gentler next time." He sounded genuinely apologetic. "If you would allow for a 'next time'."

     "There better be."

     "And a time after that?"

     "Don't push your luck, ocean boy."

     You felt him smile against you. It may have been an innocent one but you couldn't help but wonder if he was already plotting.

     He took you above land after that and you thanked the Gods above that your towel and pack was still waiting for you. At least you could walk(limp) to the company building without catching a charge for indecent exposure. He watched you from his usual spot on the dock. His downturned eyes hooded by his lashes had him looking like a distraught child watching their best friend board a plane to unknown lands. Did he think he scared you away? That you'd never return? Maybe as a bit of revenge you'd let him believe it.

((You also had to deal with the urge to sink into the floor at the knowing and amused looks on your merfolk coworker's face every time they saw the marks on your neck D:))