#made too many arcane posts I fear !

[twelve-kinds-of-trouble]

I think I arcame too close to the sun

[local-lamppost]

Act 3 Thoughts

Watched Wicked, came home, waited 20 minutes, binged Act 3. I do not recommend this lifestyle. Anyway...

I was so satisfied with where we ended up, but I would have also appreciated about 20 minutes to an hour more. It felt like some beats were skipped over, they wanted to get to specific endings and didn't have the time to wrap them up as neatly as I would've liked.

Maddie is a good example. She's a plant for Ambessa, okay but when and why did she become one? She couldn't have been one before Cait being named commander and when we next see her she's pushing for Cait to take power back from Ambessa. Did Ambessa just message her right after Cait and Vi started working together again as like a "the woman you love's actual love is back in the picture, you can either wallow or get revenge with me", but also made a smarmy remark about Cait 'at least being warm' or something. We didn't need to absolve Cait or villainize Maddie for their 'relationship' because they didn't even have a relationship-just a coping mechanism for Cait, similar to Vi's drinking. At best it was all unnecessary and at worst a waste of time.

Away from that, I want to focus on some good.

I am officially a JayVik shipper now. Them disappearing into a void together, encircled with each other, after Viktor spend however long within timelines/multiverses in hopes of finding a Jayce able to bring him back to his humanity? Come on, they needed to kiss. Especially after Jayce and Mel's low key break up. Honestly we were denied the three of them working together, because they would have been unstoppable.

Speaking of Mel, I love her. I love her design, her powers, her matricide, her taking command of Ambessa's armies, etc. I wish we could have seen more of her adapting to her new powers, finding peace with what she now is. There could have been a cool interaction with Viktor over how Arcane power has changed them both for better and worse.

I don't think Mel's story is done. With other characters, I can see them coming in for future story arcs as like, cameos or background details, but if the next LoL story is in Noxus I fully expect Mel to be a major player again.

Back to Jayce. I like Jayce, that could be my Arcane hot take, and I definitely want to write something more in depth on him. On all the characters really. For now, I'll just say that his determination to destroy everything he has built, because the only creation worth saving is his relationship with Viktor is just... glorious.

Viktor was amazing. I love Viktor in the lore, and they took his traits from the lore and amped them up to eleven. His body being destroyed and rebuilt, the process of which has chipped away his humanity and mutilated his dreams. He lives up to his own quote: "In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good. We have to make it right."

Ekko is a character I never realize I miss. That sounds mean, it probably is, but I am never the less so happy to see him every time. It's like finding the missing piece you didn't even know was lost: that is Ekko to me. His mini adventure in the parallel universe was adorable. Us getting to see what could've been alongside learning what matters most to Ekko, him getting a taste of a near perfect life and still choosing to return to his own time. That's why Ekko is the true hero of this story.

In terms of Jinx, I'll just say I'm not a hundred percent sure she's dead. The airship leaving at the end followed by her scribbled sign off, plus not getting a dead body shot. It was definitely left open ended. Her looking to do something good, to not mess up, alongside her fear of not wanting to try again because she is just tired of failure, of being a Jinx, was too real in many ways. I will go in depth on her at a later date.

Caitlyn's arc is going to be argued about, no question. It needed more time (see the start of this long post) to make her point of her anger burning away, of it not being sustainable, hit harder. I would have made her realize what her anger was doing to Vi, have Jinx point out that they really are acting the same in their treatment of Vi, and use the whole Ambessa was literally stoking the fires of her hatred to help fit what time they had left. Honestly just have Cait learn Ambessa was the one behind the memorial attack, that would be a much better way to explain her anger diminishing enough to look beyond her own hurt to realize and take account of her mistakes.

Vi, as usual, needed more screen time. Not necessarily because her story would've been helped by it like in act two, but just because I wanted her to have more time to enjoy her life. I went into act three with the sole hope that Vi would have a nice day, only for her to loose everything again. The only people she has left are Cait and Ekko, and god help anyone who tries something against those too now. Her ending being the chance to finally rest, to lean on someone else, was beautiful. She is my favorite character and please let her have only good things in the future, she was traumatized in almost every scene this season please-

Nobody tell Vi that in a universe where she died young everyone else ended up living. It would destroy her.

Vi and Cait relationship was great. I wouldn't say it was rushed in act three, because it felt like it was where it should be for a final batch of episodes, if that makes sense. It felt like the set up was Cait being genuinely remorseful and Vi just wanting someone in her life who wanted her in return. It helps that they have great chemistry and that when given the chance they fit so neatly together. I think Jinx encouraging Vi to be with Cait is what sold it to me. Jinx realizing how much Vi has given/sacrificed and giving her blessing for her sister to be happy with someone she disapproves of; not to mention Cait pulling the guards from their posts to give Vi the chance to actually meet Jinx in order to have that conversation. All in all, it comes down to Vi's "I don't care" because that's really all there is too it for them. Vi is done being miserable and Cait makes her happy, vice versa. Cait is someone Vi can rely on, Vi is someone Cait can find strength in.

Spitfire round:

Sevika being made a councilor

Every single one of Mel, Cait, and Jayce's designs were 10/10s

Vi not being given an actual uniform, just armor and the gloves

Jinx cutting her hair further to match Vi

Ekko getting his crystal sword/bats

Heimerdinger dying after living a life where he could make his city something to be proud of

I was fully expecting Vander and Silco to kiss in that one shot

Everything with Benzo

Loris' name being said

Vi humming the song and the song being their mother's lullaby

Viktor being held within the Herald

Sky leaving so Viktor was free to bring Jayce to his space mind palace

Caitlyn's rifle never surviving

Fishman McBlue being the only one of Cait's soldiers to stick to his guns and stay loyal

Sevika and Shoola side eyeing each other

Vander and little Vi and Powder with the bunny

The bunny being a passenger on Jinx's balloon

Singed's messed up family getting a happy ending

[redishsunflowers]

as a queer girl, throughout my obsession with arcane I've felt a much bigger pull towards the not cannon yaoi ship that is jayvik rather than the canon yuri ship that is caitvi, and this has made me feel kind of icky about myself lol.

i felt that i was being pulled into the grasp of patriarchy because i felt more compelled towards the shipping of two men than the relationship of two women. i also was nervous that im just a mlm fetishizer bc i like a lot of mlm media but that another story of wlw having so much less media than mlm. all of these fears are here bc im mentally ill and have problems i probably need to be medicated for but it wasnt until i saw someone's post abt why they feel ppl are more obsessed with jayvik than caitvi that i stopped feeling so icky abt myself lol.

they basically said that jayvik was written better than caitvi and basically the whole of act 2 had absolutely nothing to do with caitvi and everything to do with jayvik.

think when it comes to canon queer relationships sometimes writers forget to bring the depth and just bank on the fact that its a canon queer relationship and thats not the most common thing, but when it comes to two characters being shipped usually theyre being shipped bc of the obv closeness their relationship has and the depth in their relationship is just too hard to ignore so ppl ship them.

theres a reason jayvik are shipped and thats bc the writers wrote a duo that care more for eachother than anything else and are basically the cause and the saving grace of the whole show, while caitvi are canon and are complex and beautiful in so many ways but are kinda just put on the back burner especially in season 2. caitvi had other things they were doing other than developing their romantic relationship while jayce and viktor's whol existence at this point revolved around eachother in one way or another. im not saying caitvi shouldve been the point of the show bc its not supposed to be a romance, i just think, again, they balanced things rlly badly this season. first season their relationship was obviously there but their mission was the most important part of the show and season 2, they just kinda got back together without even talking abt their issues, and that just felt so wrong. jayvik talked things out, we saw them make up and it made sense. caitvi made up by going on a mission together then not even talking abt the biggest problems in their relationship and the writers just expect us to feel like theyre back to normal? noooooo. give us more. man this sucks. luv em to death (caitvi) but i miss them deeply.

[adelarsims]

Hi XD

I actually do wanna learn more ab them! And I have a few specific questions if you don't mind!

How old are they really?

They seem a bit obsessed with looking young, is there a reason for that?

Why don't they use a wand if it helps keep their hands looking younger?

What changed them from a snob to a slightly more uhm personable person?

What do they teach?

Also here is your excuse to ramble about world building and magic cus I love this stuff

Another more vague one, you mentioned their childhood was rough, can you talk more ab that?

Finally because I feel like I'm overstaying my welcome, how did they discover they have feelings for Caleb?

1. let’s just say over a hundred. caleb once told cassie that 100+ years old feels better than 97 or something, because there's something romantic about being 'over a hundred', like straight out of a fairy tale, while 97 is just a really old grandpa :D

2. when they imagine looking in the mirror and seeing their hair grey and face wrinkled, they're terrified. it’s not a simple vanity - many spellcasters share this fear, when you don't see the constant flow of time when you look in the mirror, your image of yourself freezes like a fly in the amber - and going back into that flow gets more and more terrifying because it feels like suddenly the end nears faster. not all spellcasters choose to prolong their life, but those who do find it hard to stop. as for the youthful look... i think Morgyn just craves to feel at their peak, being the perfect image of themselves in everything. they were deprived of feeling worthy in their early years, so they keep proving and proving otherwise. especially after some discoveries about themselves that upended their understanding of who they are and thrown them into a deep identity crisis – they would grasp at all perfection that is still within their power to maintain. well... maybe it's also a bit of vanity, too.

3. it’s just more natural for them to cast with their hands and gives them access to much stronger magic. a wand doesn’t hold any magic itself, it’s like a laser pointer for magical energy, helps you focus and direct it. spellcasters need wands, innate mages don’t, though they of course can use them too. hand magic is raw, it’s more powerful but requires mastery and precision, and allows to weave spells that aren’t accessible to wand users, because wand is a single-channel magic focus, so to speak, and hand magic allows multi-channeling it (so basically, there's a limit that former humans who learned magic can do, and for innate mages this limit is very far, if existing at all)

4. oh no, don’t mistake a snob for an insufferable asshole. they were always personable. they’re likeable, cheeky, warm and affectionate to those they’re close with, especially those who appreciate and accept them, even though their position as a grand sage and academia headmaster naturally made them more reserved. and they’re still snobbish about magic, they know no one will do it better than them when it comes to spells, tend to nitpick mistakes in others' spellcasting, and get annoyed when someone is being lazy or unreasonably cocky with their magic. they just were hot-headed about people doubting their prowess as a student, but they have matured a lot and have good self control now.

5. mostly advanced elemental magic, and a few arcane disciplines i’ve yet to find names for. magic schools in my morgynverse are quite different from what they are in the game, for example, practical school isn’t about cleaning dishes. it covers healing, herbalism and potions, enchanting equipment, crafting amulets, like that. the new jewery creating pack will work so damn good for my story, i can’t wait!

6. i already gave bits and pieces here and there on this post. i can tell you a couple minor things if you want. there’s a plant that is used in potions, it’s called cyclop’s brain, it has huge leaves and massive seed pods, and tiny tiny seeds. also, every four years, on 29th of february, “the day that does not exist”, the academia holds a huge event called Masquerade of Mysteries, it’s grand and magical and everyone is allowed to go all out with enchantments and costumes, every student and teacher is looking forward to it.

7. i’m not sure how much i should say considering that i hope to start telling my story one day and it’s a spoiler, but let’s just say they weren’t really accepted for who they are and were considered dangerous even though they never gave anyone any reason to be afraid of their magic (it’s not simply about them being a mage, that wouldn’t be as much of a problem as their origin)

8. slowly. eventually. they were physically attracted to Caleb from the beginning, but it’s doing right by one another that truly brings people together. Caleb was there for Morgyn when they needed it most.

[actuallyevilgay]

The Apathy (Part 2)

Astarion x Male Reader/Tav

DNI if you are a minor. Dead dove don’t eat. Please read my about before replying. Content: Astarion x Male tav, this is post epilogue.

Summary: Once Astarion learns from Withers Tav is somewhere in Neverwinter, he intends to find his lost love. We learn from Tav's perspective what he has been doing all this time. Reminders: Astarion is the vampire ascendant, Tav is not a heroic figure. Contains headcanons for several characters, contains headcanons for illithid brain alteration but not evolving. Tav uses daggers and magic. Astarion is an Arcane Trickster Rogue. I created several npcs. Some Neverwinter lore is mentioned. Content Warnings: Tav suffering from depression / ptsd, self-neglect. This part contains implied sexual attempted assault. A/N: The first part is here: link I had fun writing part 2. Angstttt..

The plan used to be, to make no plan... For Astarion- Strategy had not been on his mind for 200 years up until he gained a palace and a title. He used to be a magistrate, sure- however.. The laws changed. He was learning the ropes again. Manipulating a few political allies and gaining some influence was easy in his position. Baldur’s gate believed him to be a benevolent contributor to the repairs of the city. In the six months of his reign behind the curtains, the city’s damage from the mind flayer invasion was but a stain in the back of everyone’s memory. Unlike Cazador, Astarion did not depend on fear. He preferred enticing and seducing his targets, but not with his body. With promises, promises he could fulfil. If you play tyrant for too long, people will want you gone. If you pretend to be a saint, people become complacent. Happy, they want you around. They will keep your secrets, and reveal their secrets, to be wielded like daggers. Ready and willing for a stab in the back. But no one has dared to leverage his, Astarion was too useful. Despite Jaheira’s distaste for him, her and her harper's caution did not warrant a fight. Astarion was too interested in making sure the city was safe, not just for him but for all the people who became dependent on him. And thus, Jaheira kept her mouth shut, tolerating his very damned existence.

He had sired a fair few, hundreds spawn in that time, many of which were servants, others who became his eyes and ears. As the ascendant, his blessing was more subtle, safe for a few differences… Not all spawn would gain red eyes, and while the majority could tolerate the sun just fine, that gift would fade should they leave the near vicinity of the mansion. Others suffered light sensitivity in the eyes, requiring them to wear masks or glasses to hide their vampirism. The fangs, the paler skin was all there, they could easily hide their nature and live off air, water and bread, threading borders and wading through water. The sun remained a tiny problem for the most part, but not for Astarion himself.

The mansion acted as an anchor point of this connection, even if Astarion left for a while, his connection to this place and the ritual location connected him to all his spawn in the city. The longer he stayed, the larger a permanent safety net became. As a result his spawn eagerly bounced around the city without much worry. 

There were rules of course, they were not to talk about their nature. They could not feed off strangers unless it was to kill off a problem permanently, someone who would not be missed. The bodies would have to be disposed of.

If anything, it felt peaceful. Astarion had his ambitions of course, as an immortal he had time enough to pan out his plans to make sure it would outlive any of his predecessors, as well as foes and friends alike.

The high from which he fell, the very jump that had pushed Tav away made him wary of the newly gained instincts. Desires, the need to covet power.. He would not let it control him again. It was a tool to be used warily. All his abilities were great, but he was not a god.

If he could rise to his position, someone could rise to a position to annihilate him if he made himself a big enough nuisance.

A portion of his instincts raged against the idea of staying sated, it wanted to be full. Being sated kept him going, he had no need to cause suffering. Yet. Suffering should have a purpose, yes? To indulge in those habits could make one thread dangerous waters. He had enough of the idea of walking through acid, still remembering his torture deeply.

All this thinking made him lonely.

Astarion looked to his throne in silence, listening to the sound of his servants moving things around and preparing their tools. He was not going alone to Neverwinter, and he could not leave his position without a caretaker in place.

Jaheira was not aware of it, but one of her harpers was his spawn. A recruit by the name of Alice. Alice was a rather small Tiefling girl, soft spoken and highly intelligent.

She made a bow as Astarion turned to her. ‘’I will be leaving for an undisclosed amount of time, I take it that you will continue your role as we discussed?’’

Alice nodded in response. ‘’I will report any noteworthy news.’’ Satisfied, Astarion dismissed her quickly, only for the next few servants to walk in. He revelled in the respect he received, trying not to show off how much he enjoyed their devotion and loyalty.

Two of the new faces were his personal bodyguards, the only two people he’d be bringing. Who’s to say Neverwinter didn’t have plenty of fresh people to make use of? He certainly preferred travelling light.. And in disguise. Both of the bodyguards were high elves, fraternal twin brothers. One rarely spoke, the other was tricky. His personality changed depending on who he was speaking to, as he used to be a theatre actor before taking this job. Vandelion and Tyselius. Vand and Ty for short.

They greeted with a salute and bow, the last person to talk to was standing behind them, waiting her turn. Astarion gestured for them to step aside so he could speak to his Chamberlain.

‘’Saralyn dear.’’ Astarion smiled at her, even though she avoided his gaze. Previously a human, Saralyn was one of his first spawn. ‘’You will manage business while I am away, is there anything you need before my departure?’’ 

‘’Nothing of note m’lord, my only request is for a bodyguard.’’

‘’Oh? Are you concerned about your safety? That is new.’’ Astarion’s brows lifted in surprise.

‘’It is simply the first time I am left in my position without your guidance and protection. I want to be sure to do my job well without risks.’’ Her speaking revealed no ill intent, only honesty.

‘’Very well, assign whomever you please from the dormitory as your personal guard.’’

‘’Thank you, my lord..’’

Enough formalities. His patience was wearing thin. Everything was done, preparations were made. They were leaving. Now.

Off to wherever Tav was, Neverwinter. What would he be doing in such a rich city? Living off trade? Did he pick up a job? Why would he push away Gale’s attempts to reach him?

If only that answer was so simple.

….

Neverwinter was vast, Volo called it the most civilised city in all of faerûn. Markets, shops, anything you could think of was sold here, if it was legal of course. There were enough things about this place that made you wonder if it was crime free. It certainly wasn’t.

Despite the cosmopolitan paradise, riches were still divided. Even if nobles were taxed heavily to share the wealth across the place, any rich civilisation invited division regardless.

You roamed the streets, catching sight of snowflakes as one landed on your nose.

Cold. It’s going to get cold.

Your clothes were worn, to the average pedestrian you looked like a beggar. To someone more prejudiced and worried for their life; you looked like a thief, or trouble.

The guard was aware of you, but never saw you act out any crimes. You would sit in public areas, watching folk pass by, wandering aimlessly until you were out of sight.

Like many times before, you took your pick. Using strange psychic abilities to displace items into your pockets. You would never aim for the better trinkets, just little things.. Like misplaced gold coins, or rusty coppers. Gold they can miss, a necklace? Maybe. If it looked like a family heirloom, you certainly avoided it. So far no one has reported their losses.

You only took what could easily be traded for food. During the nights, you would find a place to sleep on the docks, below a bridge, or an abandoned market stall.

Why are you here? One might wonder. There was no answer for it. You simply were here. 

As you nodded off, the cold was getting to you. A voice called out to wake your anxious body jerk right up. ‘’You poor sod.’’ It was a wintershield watchman, one you’ve met before. Never talked to, though. But his face was plain enough to remember. Remember.

‘’It’s certainly not the time of the year for you to sleep outside. I can’t stand it.’’ The man complained, you looked at him dully, wondering when he would leave you be, so you could sleep.

‘’How about I treat you to a night at the inn? Hmm?’’ His tone changed, but you couldn’t place with intentions. Your neck hairs stood up with caution. ‘’What’s your bargain, guard? I doubt you’d offer something so freely.’’ The man smirked in response.

‘’I’ll tell you, but first.. How about a warm meal?’’

The tavern was pretty empty, small. One quick look would make one assume it was not a popular establishment. Another one and you questioned the type of customers this place had. It wasn’t loud, but it felt.. Suspicious.

Your stomach disagreed with you, and you hungrily gorged on the dinner the man purchased for you. If not for the food, you would’ve noticed his obsessive staring. His eyes lingered on your dirtied face, picturing something.

‘’What is your name?’’ He asked, causing you to look up from your plate. ‘’..Why do you want to know?’’ Your eyes warily scanned the man. You did not trust him one bit, but you were so damn hungry. A part of you was ready to kill him if needed. You didn’t care if they threw you in jail.. At least you’d be somewhere inside. Hidden. ‘’Tav…My name is Tav..’’ 

Why you wanted to hide, you could not place. What were you hiding from? A headache?

No.. This food was too good. Just think about the food. Eat your heart out. Ignore this man.

Once finished, you watched the man pay for a room, he took you upstairs, guiding you inside. A warm bed was waiting for you, not the best.. But better than the stone floors of Neverwinter. Better than frostbite and cold feet.

Then.. The door lock made a loud sound behind you. The once too friendly guard grabbed you by the throat, slamming you onto the bed. Your vision quickly turns white, and before you know it, you’re covered in blood, drifting in the water by the docks, unsure what just happened.

Disoriented by the sudden displacement, you force yourself to swim back to the shore, fighting the nausea and coughing up from the cold. Shuddering.

There’s shouting, yelling in the distance. Fear. You wanted to run.. Did you kill the man? Did he drug you? The water already washed away any evidence. You search yourself for wounds but find none. Perhaps you did kill him, for one thing.. The dagger you hid below your shirt was missing. Your cloak was torn, making you believe there was a struggle and you got away.

You searched for the location of the fight in the distance. You could see the inn from where you stood. The roof was torn open, yet there were no signs of fire or explosion. Just a large hole, like a beast flew out. The guard certainly took notice, because you could see flashes of torches reaching the place.

Without much further thought, you jumped back in the water and swam to a different dock, to avoid leaving footsteps in the sand.

Once you reach the safety of the wooden planks, a fainting spell overtakes your body, but your stubborn reflexes refuse to let you pass out. Landing on your hands, you got right back up, jerking forward, eyes searching for the nearest hiding spot.

You notice the doors of a storage shed, likely used by the fishmongers. Once you got close enough, you halfway fell against the door, it opened just fine. Someone forgot to lock this place up it seems.

Exhausted, you drag yourself, crawling inside, hoping you aren’t bleeding and leaving no trail. It didn’t matter, even with the adrenaline, your body demanded sleep.

You face plant into the ground, unable to move. The fear kept you awake for a while, making you shake helplessly. Something awakened in your veins, a headache.. Then.. A quake. Some boxes fell, the sound of dead fish flopping over the floor was close .Afterwards, silence.

The silence was so deafening.

Morning came oh so rudely. A trail of light hits your wet face, you feel stiff. You hadn’t died of hypothermia, but you might soon.. Your instincts told you to get up and search for warmth.

The shed had many things, fish. Partially spoiled, some still fresh and preserved.

Firstly, you took boots that were laying around and happily discarded your old ones. For a moment, you looked at the scraps that previously covered your feet. The chunky old things had holes, and a strange familiarity. It made you sad as you stared. These boots must’ve been dear to you once, but you can’t fathom why it made your heart sink to toss them. Was it a family heirloom? No.. Maybe you’d just worn them for a very long time. It was nostalgia.

Some more searching and you found a few things they’d probably miss. A new bag you could slink around your waist, and a fresh shirt. It was old, smelled bad, and had a few patched holes, but it was good enough. A needle and thread later, and you repaired your cloak with some fabric you found.

Before leaving, you made sure to clean up the mess you made, hoping to hide your traces. A few fish they could miss as well, serving yourself some breakfast with a makeshift firebolt.

The docks were starting to become lively, not too crowded. You passed with ease back into the streets, returning to your usual habits. Wandering and taking things that could be missed. Your mind emptied itself of the events of last night. It happened, it passed.

 A thin layer of snow had started to cover the city landscape, greeting you bitterly.

Something about the season felt strange. As if you’d never seen snow before. Everything felt new, yet so strangely familiar. Images occasionally played in your head, showing the streets of a different city. It was confusing and disorienting at times, but you did not like the visions.

Something about the different city made you feel on edge. There was a vision of an explosion, fires. Bodies scattered among the rubble. Whatever that place was, you weren’t there anymore. You were here instead.

This morning, the usual charitable figures would approach you, not say a thing, but toss a few coins your way. They barely looked at you, feigning empathy, but truly they just pitied the sight of you. Hoping the money would be enough to make you leave.

One look at your reflection in the frozen fountain water spoke loudly. You were a mess. Your hair had grown longer, tangled, uncared for. Despite the fresh clothes, your face was covered in bruises and patches of dirt. You did not recognise your own face, vaguely recalling what it used to look like. Your eyes were dull, doll-like. Tired.

‘’Look at him. It reminds me of when this City had a Beggar’s Nest.’’ Gossip of two loud Elven nobles nearby took your attention, but you didn’t turn to face them.

‘’Hush! Enough of that. I don’t want to think about that damn volcano or the undead invasion again.’’ Afterwards, the couple huddled away quickly.

Your mind blanked. You are a beggar. That’s the closest to a sense of self you’ve gotten this past week. You’ve been here for at least a few months. Someone approached you with a letter a little while ago, but it made no sense to you. The place was vaguely described, and you did not know what any of it meant. The letter must’ve been misplaced, so you tossed it without much thought.

‘’You look like you could use some help.’’ Another voice. This time, it came from someone much smaller than you. A halfling woman, she looked at you with a bright smile. ‘’Want a job?’’ She offered. ‘’I’ve just opened a tavern nearby. Work for me.’’ The cheerfulness of the woman made you wary. ‘’I..I.. Don’t like taverns.’’ You stuttered. ‘’C’mon now lad.’’ She offered her hand. ‘’Let's get you warm, okay?’’ Something in you made you reach forward. She had this motherly feeling about her. Your height difference was a little awkward as she pulled you away from the public space as if you were a lost child.

All the way into her charming little building, she held your hand firmly, not tightly, but firm. She was strong, you could sense. Perhaps the woman had been an adventurer some time ago. All though it was more likely that you were skin and bones, you did not have much strength to go on with and last night reminded you of that.

‘’I am Jilvy Fogwater, This is my tavern! Do you have a name, dear?’’ The halfling woman spoke once you sat down. The tavern was definitely made for people of various heights. The woman grabbed a seat and climbed on top to meet you face to face. ‘’..Tav. It’s just Tav.’’

‘’Tav, hmm?’’ Jilvy cocked her head to the side. ‘’You seem so unsure..’’ She pondered, looking worried.

‘’No worries Tav! Let me take care of you from now on.’’ Her smile was warm and friendly. Something inside your empty head responded. Was that a sense of relief? You couldn’t tell.

Your emotions had been confusing for so long. The only things that made sense were your base instincts. Hide. Run. Steal. Eat. ‘’Okay..’’ You wanted to thank her, but you hesitated.

She nodded at your response in acknowledgement, turning around and pouring you a hot cup of tea from which you drank greedily.

‘’Usually the folks prefer beer at these kinds of establishments. I intend to serve breakfast and lunches without alcohol.’’ The woman continued to prattle on about her business venture. Something about healthier diets and battling addiction or whatever.

Your mind emptied as you eyed the wall. There were some pictures framed. Paintings. One of her family, probably. Another of a halfling child with a similar hair colour to you.

Perhaps this woman pitied you, or felt a need to heal from an old wound. You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to ask. Her motherly energy was difficult to ignore. You did not find it unwelcome, just odd. Everything was odd.

At the very least you didn’t feel lonely.

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

My head is hurting after Secret History inner ramblings.

I think the one thing that’s difficult about this book is that EVERYTHING is a little true and a little false at the same time? It’s weird because sometimes I go to make a statement on something or post a thought, and I just can’t get the nuance right ever. All my opinions have a bit of a “but here’s where that thought ends” aspect to them. Here’s what I mean:

1. Henry and Camilla: I think someone kind of disliked something I said once when I said I was skeptical about Henry’s relationship with Camilla. And I tbh had strongly worded my thoughts. But here’s the deal. Henry, based on what we know of him, likely doesn’t have a good concept of love. And Camilla feels safe with Henry. Due to this, I think Henry views Camilla as something to protect. He sees her as aesthetic and wants to pursue her because he has clearly been taught by Julian and his own long history with many books and few human interactions that what’s important is what is ethereal and arcane and pretty. Camilla is going through a lot with Charles and she knows all the other guys are, in varying ways, terrified of Henry. Bunny was a jerk but his obsessive attitude toward Henry was indicative of his fear and his needing to know what Henry is up to, an attitude which makes increasing sense as the novel progresses. Richard has slips about Henry all the time but the most memorable to me is when he almost says “What if it’s Henry” instead of “What if it’s the cops?” when Charles knocks. Charles is so blatantly frightened of Henry and for good reason: Charles never seemed to want to kill Bunny, was was pulled into the murder (but it was still his choice), not taken seriously when he tried to lament Bunny, and then put into a situation where he had to just keep talking about it while minding his every word. Then there were strong indications Henry was trying to kill him. Camilla isn’t dumb. I’m sure she sees things that the guys see. She’s certainly disturbed when Henry made her douse herself in pig blood. But she allows Henry to have what he wants so she can be safe. 

Now, I don’t even think Camilla is wrong to make this choice. In fact, Richard’s attitude towards her decision was uncalled for. That said, we now have a relationship built on a man who is buried in fanciful ideas about things and a woman who is fully aware of everything wrong with him and just goes with it because she’s scared. But it’s weird because saying that this relationship is entirely destructive isn’t perfectly true either. It’s true for the above reasons. But I also see Henry and Camilla do having some semblance of a positive relationship too. He does treat her kindly and, whatever the reason, he does help her when she’s struggling with Charles. We’ve seen signs of Henry looking out for Camilla throughout the whole book. And, you know what? We even get tiny indications that she really believes in some of his nonsense. But, by the end of the novel, I was so skeptical of anything Henry did and so wary of how emotionless he’d gotten that I couldn’t really believe he wouldn’t ever hurt her (my goodness, this guy could read some ancient myth arguing that some random, toxic action is somehow akin to love and he’d take it seriously). But bottom line is that this isn’t an easy thing for me to voice my opinion on without immediately disagreeing with my own wording. 

2. Francis being untruthful about Charles. When I say Francis’s story about Charles isn’t correct, I mean that there are indications Francis is twisting facts. I’m saying it makes too much sense that he bore blame too, based on what we know of Francis. But what I’m not saying is that he spoke nothing but lies. This book is about illusions and things hidden in plain sight. Francis saying that Charles and Camilla being pretty makes it hard to see that they aren’t good does ring very true. It’s similar to Richard’s statement that he has a tendency to view interesting people as good (he says this about Julian). I do believe Francis when he says that Charles, even Camilla in a more subtle or different way, is jealous and manipulative— and the twins have been that way for a long time. We can pick that up ourselves throughout the novel. And he’s probably right that the bacchanal brought the worst of it to light. He definitely tries to tell Richard about something awful Charles did that night and can’t bring himself to. 

That said, Francis is also clearly framed as being illusionary himself. He’s compared twice to a fox in this scene. His reason for why Charles won’t admit to having been with him is flimsy. It’s an odd understanding of Charles who won’t speak of his drinking when personal details aren’t involved. And alcohol was involved every time Francis and Charles hooked up (in the story about the first time it happened, when they left Richard’s room, and at the funeral). Francis even admits that was a driving factor in their relationship. At the Corcorans’, we also see Charles say Francis attempted to coerce him into something only for Francis to cut him off. So it’s just that, knowing alcohol was involved, knowing Francis has tried to take advantage of an inebriated Richard, and knowing that he’s trying to cover up truths… it just doesn’t give us a picture of a Francis who was entirely innocent in the matter and who didn’t at all take advantage of his friend. 

A few things can exist at once because I think Francis’s big deal is being something of a doormat. He balks in the face of anything scary from doctor visits to certain social interactions; he goes along with others. He can be sharp-tongued and he does have strong desires, but he is often scared back into place. He clearly wants something with Richard (he goes for it twice) but won’t attempt to push when Richard is lucid. He asks permission, is denied, and accepts it (good!). But when Richard is vulnerable, Francis is more aggressive (fair point to Francis: this is not all the time. He’s seen Richard drunk and sleeping and been normal about it). Francis does get pushed back into place by Charles as well. Camilla states this when she tells Richard why she can’t move in with Francis rather than Henry. We also see Francis mock Richard’s speech patterns then immediately become really meek and apologetic when he sees that Richard is actually angry. And I’m kind of wondering if Francis knew all about Henry potentially setting up Richard and kept his mouth shut while Charles perhaps attempted to save Richard by taking him to the bar the night the police came. I say this because Charles says he knows Francis would betray him to Henry. And this moment seems more that just drunken rambles, based on Francis’s reaction. Francis’s suicide note even apologizes for NOT doing things. This fear does seem likely to cause him to merely take advantage of people when they’re vulnerable, to push until bitten back. (By the way, I think the alcohol he has during the funeral bathroom moment was purchased by Charles when he went out since it was in the glove compartment? The rest is vague but, to me, Francis is taking advantage of a weakness. To be honest, I like to think even Francis realized this. He payed Charles’s rehab bill. I think he knew that, in encouraging the drinking or, at least not stopping it, that he’d failed Charles— and Camilla who was directly affected.) 

This is a lot of things. So I think me having moments of “OK FRANCIS WAS CLEARLY MANIPULATIVE HERE” is not the same as me saying he was totally wrong. Just like me saying he’s likely right about Charles is not me saying Charles wasn’t a vulnerable and mistreated party too. 

3. Bunny being more morally aware than others. This one is the TRICKIEST. Because Bunny is really bad too. He’s such an awful friend. But my big-hard-to-capture-thought is that I do not believe Henry when he says Bunny’s reaction to the farmer-slaying was purely feelings of being left out. And I think Bunny was aware of and disturbed by the things going on in the group in a way the others largely weren’t. Richard says Bunny was a bloodhound for insecurities and that’s true. But I also got the sense that he was actually seeing his friends flaws and going, in some deep part of himself, “wait, this is really bad.” Julian mistakes Bunny’s behavior for a possible religious conversion. I think that’s very close— it was a moral crisis, I believe. But Julian is onto the same principle which doesn’t align with what Henry said (that it wasn’t at all moral). Furthermore, I think Henry (and Francis) was wrong about Bunny’s feelings of jealousy and hatred towards Richard. Again, this line between partially true and partially false is light because maybe Henry did note real feelings of inferiority (Bunny did harass Richard despite him not being at the bacchanal and there’s that mean moment where he tells Charles to give Richard a drink without washing the cup). But this is all thrown in to question with Bunny’s letter to Julian which doesn’t mention Richard at all. I just wonder if Bunny, despite all his rampant -isms and blatant mistreatment of his friends, was the first to wake up. And he was killed for it. Similarly, Charles starts to wake up in ways. He, in the midst of all his own crimes, was getting impacted by having helped take a life. And Henry’s reaction repeated itself; he went to silence this person who, within all his madness, was right about something. AND YET AGAIN. This is only true in some manners because Henry was also thinking of Camilla.

Revisiting my whole thesis: It’s like anything I could possibly say about this book has limits and other considerations. Many things are true to a point and false at a level. So I look back at every post I make and am like “well I still think I was right, but I wish I could shine a flashlight on every little detail and exception.” I just want to be fair about everything all the time!

[lovefrombegonia]

A Jinx of my mind and an Ekko of my soul

This is going to be a long post about how one Jinx and one Ekko from the Netflix's Arcane made me feel, and basically gave me an existential crisis for a couple of days. This isn't an in-depth analysis, let me warn you. This is much more personal, this is deep in emotions...this is projection of another level. This is my excercise of self-discovery through fiction. It's an introspective excercise I love doing...and sometimes, when the writing is omega-level great...it shows me my darkest fears, and my greatest dreams.

THESE ARE ALL PERSONAL OPINIONS. Fair warning. Also, Spoiler Alerts.

Those who are familiar with my blog, knows that, typically, I would have deeply, deeply fallen in love with a character like Jinx. That's what happens with me and my problematic blorbos. Mad and psychotic killers with great character design is almost always a win-win for me. This is what I thought too, initially, as I started Arcane's first episode. She was a little girl who was physically not strong but was a mad genius who could make deadly bombs out of scraps. An engineer of chaos! And someone with family issues...boi oh boi, I was ready, willing and able to fall for her... But then gradually something unexpected started to happen. I started...disliking her. And you know, that should have started after she killed a bunch of people indiscriminately, right? But no...I think it started much earlier. I think it started with a break down that hit too close to home. It started when Powder was crying and screaming out of desperation and pain when she thought of herself as useless. Someone who couldn't even help save her sister and her friends. Her adoptive father. During that scene, I didn't hate Power. No...let me not be a coward with my feelings here. This is me, raw, vile, and naked. I did hate Powder during that scene. I hated her because that scene hit too close to home. I hated her because how many times, it was me who would cry hysterical, alone in my room, cursing myself, my incompetence, my weakness, I can't even count. It really speaks to the brilliance of Arcane's cast and crew that it just sparked those memories of my despair so cleanly. Then she tries to help her sister and gang with monkey bomb, and it turns out to just make things from bad to worse. The rational side of me sees this and understands that she could not have any idea that things would turn out like this. She was just a child and even an adult could have made those same mistakes. But the emotional side of me watched in horror and hopelessness as her decisions made with intentions to help her family, in the end hurt them so badly and irreversibly. This, too, hit too close to home. Reminding me of when my own decisions had hurt my family in the long run. The guilt and trauma of my failure never went away. Even if my family doesn't blame me, I blame myself. And then...things just went downhill with the rest of the episodes. Visually, Jinx is one of the coolest characters on the show. Her fighting style, her gadgetry, even her mania is shown with so much style and brilliance, it just scratches the aesthetic itch of mine perfectly. Technically, the character writing is fucking superb imo. None of her moments are wasted. Every drop of her tears and every smile, every gesture counts. None of it is wasted. Emotionally, I felt like I was watching a nightmare version of me on-screen. Everything that happened to her is what I fear happening to me. The psychosis. The break-downs. Choosing to follow the wrong person. Choosing validation over people who love me. It's why all her triumphs and victories felt so hollow. Even her most brilliant moment, when she unleashed the missile over the council...felt incredibly painful to me. In my eyes, this was the moment of Jinx's destruction. When Silco called her "perfect", it should have felt like finally getting the validation she needed but instead it felt like getting a stamp of approval to be self-destructive.

Let me be clear: I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS WHAT THE SHOW IS TRYING TO SAY. THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT HOW I FELT THROUGH JINX AS A CHARACTER. I don't want her stans to think that I am slandering her moments of victory and character arc. When I was watching Arcane, Jinx's journey didn't feel like her growing from Powder to Jinx FOR ME, even though I know that's what the writing is about. It felt like Jinx was showing how I could devolve because of my own manic thoughts, insecurities, painful memories and just my fucking depressing af mind that feels like it's trying to eat me away. I cannot express how similar it looked when I saw Jinx losing her mind in isolation. Cooking up scenarios that didn't happen. Or degrading all the memories of the past while catastrophizing. Her shooting the girl who looked like Vi. Her, being petrified by Vi abandoning her. Her, being as a birder by Silco or being abandoned/betrayed by him. Even though, I am an adult now, and I get why people that I love might walk away from me, the fear of it all still eats me from inside. I am afraid. I am despairing. It feels like I can't move on. What scares me even more is one day, meeting a Silco who might or might not genuinely love me but also validates my wish to just destroy everything and everyone around me. To watch the world burn. Because, yes, the thought of letting it all go, and fuck things up feel "cool" and "liberating" and "awesome" but the truth is...the ugly, painful truth is...even then. EVEN FUCKING THEN. INSIDE. I would still me the same miserable lonely fuck... Except this time, I would because the scared miserable lonely fuck who hurts others. It's a nightmare cycle. Jinx is that nightmare cycle. Jinx...Powder...this charming, exhilarating, dynamic character. She is truly an enigma of her own, isn't she. I love her because I can empathize with her suffering and choices. I hate her because I fear that I might end up like her. Jinx is my mirror that I want to look away from but I can't.

This experience of mine with a character is not unique to Jinx. What differs, is the INTENSITY of it all. She stays in my mind. I watch video analysis of her character but I couldn't bring myself to write much about her. It feels too close. Too... familiar. I have talked about the mirror but what about the echo of my conscience? Somehow still keeping me from turning downright mean and unkind?

A very special episode happened in the second half of Arcane. An episode called "Boy Savior". It started with one of the coolest music video intros I have ever seen. I think most of us, who aren't familiar with LoL lore, could still guess this was the return of the little boy, Ekko. He was bound to return, and he was going to be involved with the Fireflies. It wasn't the focus of the episodes but it was clear from a few scenes that, like Jinx, Ekko was also great with gadgetry. His little periscope and audio system he made? So smart and cute, might I add. What I wasn't expecting, is to strangely...be envious of this character. It's natural to admire someone like him. Who, even being in the worst situations, rose as a hero and inspiration for his people. To help the ones left behind in the grand scheme of main characters. But I was already become very attached to him. Not in a blorbos kind of way. Another third secret thing LOL OK, but seriously, I was starting to feel even protective of this character. And no, it isn't just because Ekko has the cool character design, and cool hover board thingie, or even the coolest animation style in the series...those helped! But weren't the key reason. It started with the final fight between Ekko and Jinx. It was highly stylized and paired with great bgm. The animation was popping off!! Damn! Did they deliver with this part of episode. Amidst of all that, my mind all of a sudden went: 'I will never forgive Jinx if she kills Ekko.' After I finished the episode, and was done with the rest of my daily routine, I wondered why I felt so strongly for him. Mind you, I didn't feel the same way when she came close to killing any of the other main characters. Not even Vi, even though, being an eldest sibling myself, I should have felt more kinship with her. But no...it was Ekko. But why? Why him? Why even feel envious of this character who got so much burden on his young shoulders, and he is not even a main character?! It all CLICKED right into place after I watched this video analysis of his character. I understood my envy and my protectiveness for him. It's because Ekko is the kind of character I want to be. This person who can help my family and loved ones in the present. Someone who uses whatever resources they have and the courage, skills and endurance they have to push forward, to bring to the ones they care about. This person who acknowledges their painful past but won't let that stop from becoming someone kind and brave. Someone who works through their loss and shortcomings to bring a brighter light home. He is not a perfect person. He isn't physically strong like Vi or has agency like Jayce or has the strongest morality like Caitlyn but he is still ENOUGH. He still helps in a way that truly matters, his existence matters. He is the strong, sturdy, life-giving tree in the midst of undercity's thick, suffocating atmosphere. He is...Ekko is just...simply beautiful. Just BEAUTIFUL and immaculate in a way no other character in Arcane season 1 is. He is a side character with much lesser screen time but he leaves me with such a deep impression. To me, Ekko is the character that reminds me of the echo of my own conscience soul, pushing me to be a better person than I was yesterday. He is the dream version of myself. And this is why it was hurting me to think of Jinx killing Ekko. Because my emotional side was interpreting it as my nightmare version killing the dream version of myself. My sub-conscious made the connection between Powder/Jinx and Ekko before I even realised.

I cannot praise the writers of Arcane enough to bring out such strong emotions in me. To invoke something so raw and visceral in me. To make me look into myself, to realise my fears and hopes. Almost all the characters in Arcane season 1 are amazing, nuanced, thought-provoking, and simply brilliant. And even among all these diamonds, Jinx and Ekko are so bright to stand out so uniquely... Ah...such beauty in fiction is rare. Be it hate or love. Fear or envy. I cherish them both very dearly.

[foxounderscorecube]

Drawing I did while I was away of Teimahr (he/him), my Great Old One warlock (with a level in bard)!

Teimahr is a Deva - a variant of Aasimar that looks cooler and lives through many reincarnations - of indeterminate age. He is an amnesiac because when I first made him I couldn't think of a proper backstory and woke up one day in a shepherd's hut or something on the outskirts of a town of people who feared him with a pact with the Great Old One and no idea what happened. Not really sure what to do, he became something of a travelling scholar, unofficially speaking, wandering around and studying in libraries and picking up the basics of crafts from people he encounters.

Ultimately, he wants to learn more about his own origins, because he only remembers snippets of past lives and nothing about this one before he woke up that one day, but he genuinely adores gathering information about anything. For all his book smarts, though, he has very low wisdom and is a bit socially inept. Being intimidating - both due to his celestial heritage and being 6'7" (usually closer to 7' in his heels) - and pretty help him out a lot on that specific front, but he tends to be a bit too trusting and prone to unintentionally breaking social taboos.

The party he's with now found him in sitting in a pond in a cave where he'd been checking out the local cave flora, and he has since begun a career in amateur theatre.

The tentacle on his hand is a side effect of a gift from his patron he received in the campaign I'm playing him in currently. Once a day, he can attempt to access forbidden knowledge from an eldritch library (or, as we usually describe it, he can use Google). If he fails, however, he takes psychic damage and becomes blind for a bit. The little plushie octopus is a representation of his patron as imagined by Teimahr and contains his arcane focus, which is incomprehensible to most people: the plushie makes it perceivable, although most people would struggle to hold it even encased like that.

This image has been put through Glaze, hence the weird visual effect on it. I recommend using it if you post art - the idea is that it makes it harder for AI image generators to use your work effectively if it gets scraped. I post all of my unGlazed art on Ko-Fi for subscribers and donators, if you are particularly dedicated to seeing my drawings un-wibbled!

[hexcoremagician]

𝗜𝗡𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦

So, it is well known trivia that Viktor is based off of Nikola Tesla - one of my favorite scientists, ever - and because of that, I got to thinking about what other Tesla-inspired inventions that Viktor may have brought to Piltover or Zaun.

Being a Zaunite, Viktor has wanted to make inventions that help both cities. For his main focus, I think that he has been secretly helping to improve the lives of those in the undercity, and after him being in the Academy, quality of life for the people of Zaun went up.

However, because many of his inventions or improvements mainly assisted the undercity, Viktor was shunned... until he invented the V Coils, and showed the City of Progress their capacity for music.

V COILS: (TESLA COILS)

When bored one day, as the Dean's assistant, Viktor decided to come up with other ideas for his idea of Alternating Current. He found that these specialized coils could function as power or light sources. Viktor dreams of a wireless world, and his V Coils were an attempt to revolutionize Piltover and Zaun.

The City of Progress, however, was more interested in V Coil's capacity for music. Viktor discovered in on accident, and managed to connect a type writer to the coil through wires, and created music.

V Coil shows are exceptionally popular in Piltover and Zaun. Each V Coil show has an automaton band that drums with the V Coils as they fire off.

An example of this is here. Slight warning for those who can't handle flashes.

⎔ Other important inventions:

ALTERNATING CURRENT

Professor Stanwick had a theory of Direct Current, and while a good idea, it cost the City of Progress too much to implement, so they sought ideas from their students at the Academy. Viktor took one look at Stanwick's designs, and came up with his own theory: a current that changes directions, and with voltage that changes back and forth. He tested it, and upon successful completion of the project, he was inducted into House Heimerdinger. He completed this project at the age of 17. This led to better power output for both Piltover and Zaun. While an important discovery, it wasn't renowned as anything like HexTech would be in the future - because Professor Stanwick came up with the idea of Direct Current, and Viktor was a student, he was able to take credit for Viktor's work.

HYDROELECTRIC GENERATOR

In an effort to cut down on pollution, Viktor created a hydroelectric generator that focused on his idea of Alternating Current. Before this, a great deal of resources were wasted to feed the vast electrical arrays that weaved in and out of the undercity. The generator also had a hidden feature: a filter to attempt to slowly clean Zaun's waters. He was secretly brought before the Council and reprimanded for adding the filter, which only further made him rebellious against Piltover.

INDUCTION MOTOR

A motor using electromagnets, this motor was able to power small things.

RADIO-CONTROL

Viktor later used this technology that he invented to power his automaton army and control them. This tech was originally created to have machines be piloted into hazard areas, so no life would be lost. Upon having a conversation with his patron, Heimerdinger, he conceived of this idea. However, due to the fact that it mainly benefitted Zaun, Viktor was once again shunned in the Piltover scientific community.

THE DIVING HELM

A helmet that removed a diver's fear response, and thus saved many lives from those who were apt to panic when resurfacing. This invention would cause strain between Jayce and Viktor.

DEATH RAY/HEXCLAW

⎔ HexTech

These inventions aren't released to the public.

Blitzcrank has his own post here.

Concentrated electrical current that is combined with the Arcane to form a powerful, deadly blast, capable of carving through rock, steel, or other materials. Can kill.

GRAVITY FIELD

Once again combining science with the Arcane, Viktor is able to create a gravity field that traps his foe. They can't move for a short duration.

MAGNETIC SHIELDING/SIPHON

Using his theory of the induction motor and the Arcane, Viktor siphons the electrical charge from the individual, and shields himself.

ION STORMS

Viktor is capable of creating powerful electrical storms with his staff, which has a V Coil at the end of it. He is able to place these storms at will due to his command of the Arcane.

[idkwhatimdoingbutslay]

Okay so I’m frustrated.

Nothing serious, just more Arcane discourse lol.

I’ve said before in my “anti caitvi” post that i made awhile ago that I find it very frustrating when people look at Caitlyn Kiramman and immediately go “I don’t like her” without a second thought.

It’s frustrating that Caitlyn can not at all be nuanced because some people just simply don’t want her to be.

It’s unfair and discrediting.

Don’t get me wrong, Caitlyn has messed up, said and done the wrong things (ex. The “bodies in the basement” comment, defending Piltover while arguing with Ekko), but the thing about Caitlyn is that she doesn’t do those things out of malice, but simply out of ignorance.

I get being frustrated with someone’s lack of awareness and wishing they just “got” it, but that’s just unrealistic.

The arc her starting to get it. What else could cou possibly want?

And the other thing???? She’s actively trying to change!

That’s her whole motive.

That’s all she wants.

She WANTS to make a difference and change Piltover for the better.

Some people will look at Caitlyn and go “I hate her cuz she’s a cop 👎��” then ignore her breaking the law for (arguably) the greater good.

Maybe that wasn’t her motive in the beginning (i.e. Just wanting to figure out who’s behind the crimes that no one seems to be investigating [though that still seems to be the greater good to me]). Maybe at that point, she didn’t know what she was doing was the right thing.

But once things started clicking, she tried her best to catch up.

Caitlyn wanted to fight. Caitlyn wanted to progress. Caitlyn wanted to make things better.

But too often she’s reduced to “Piltie cop.”

Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand disliking cops. But this seems to be so much more than that.

Caitlyn isn’t a cop to show people that “some cops are good,” she’s a cop to show people that “some cops are stupid and naive before they can fully embrace their privilege and worst traits.”

Caitlyn could have fallen and let herself be trapped under Marcus thumb, get herself on the payroll, start embracing the easy life (i.e. her getting fired and Jayce offering her a job where she could live behind a desk), but she didn’t do any of that.

She disobeyed everyone she was supposed to blindly follow and began to do what she thought was right.

What so many before her failed to do.

Caitlyn became a cop under false and unrealistic expectations, but once the issues and corruption started to look her right in the eye and she couldn’t ignore it, she didn’t.

Even if it went against everything she knew, everything she was taught, she still let herself be educated. Let herself learn.

Yes, cops are bad. Yes, Caitlyn’s naivety and privilege can be frustrating at times.

But these things aren’t all of what she is.

She’s someone who so desperately wants her own agency. To finally mess with Piltover’s stagnancy.

Even when the council completely shut her and Vi down, she was ready to go back and keep fighting (i.e. the Oil and Water scene).

Caitlyn isn’t just her privilege, Caitlyn is the little girl who so badly wants to break out of her mold and make a difference. Show people (Piltover) that she can be better, that she can be more, and that they can too.

She’s the young woman who goes out of her way to investigate, even when heavily advised not to, because that’s what she believes is the right thing to do.

She’s the woman who refuses to turn a blind eye and be complacent.

She’s the woman who’s (arguably) going to be at the head of Piltover’s reform.

Not because she’s a selfish, rotten cop, or because she’ll eventually become a corrupt Sheriff, but because she’s her own person with fears and dreams and questions.

All of Caitlyn’s development is her trying to claw her way out of the right grip Piltover, her parents, Jayce and Marcus all have on her.

Certain people are upset about who Caitlyn is now constantly trying not to be and I just find that frustrating because it, once again, strips her of her agency. Of her choice to be better.

Caitlyn’s naivety doesn’t make her evil, it makes her due for a change.

And changing is all she’s been doing so far.

So why do some of us still try to put her back in the Piltie category when that’s where we all collectively don’t want her to be?

We want her to be better, right? So let’s let the progress happen. It won’t be linear, but it also won’t be nothing.

[4dmc]

I made this vent post quite a long time ago. I still stand by what I've posted, though there are grammar errors AND looking back, I feel that it looks hateful on the og but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Also someone said that they thought I interpreted the og Dante as lacking depth, so I'll clarify now.

I do like DMC. Its oddball blend of gothic supernatural Judeo-Christian themes with a ridiculously cheesy and too powerful for his own good protagonist are always fun and intriguing to try around.

The og Dante, despite all the B-movie Japonized Western Noir shenanigans he has running for, is a man of many interpretations.

I do think Dante has MORE he has going for. Manga after manga of him in it, Dante is shown to have baggage. Kamiya Hideki saying he's "afraid when doing his thing" is nice to know but... I feel like we SHOULD know that by now, right?

To me I think it's not just fear but exhaustion. Perhaps it must be exhaustion. He's killed thousands of demons by now, including his own brother (And Vergil has PLENTY of baggage as well..). And nothing's changed much in his world. That aspect would be nice to explore even further right ..

But it's been 2 decades already, and I feel like despite loads of supplementary media (some are in this vague state of semi-canon? Retroactivity?) about Dante and the characters, there's this distance or gap in between the tone/focus on their stories when we're experiencing them in the games.

Like it's okay to have supplementary media to support the games' on-going narrative..😬.. but I feel like it became the other way around, if that's even what happened.

I also have to say this..as much as I deeply appreciate the DMC fandom's efforts on providing more interpretation on the gaps of the franchise's lore (especially before 5 came out), I can't help feel that Capcom has to really rely on the efforts of the fans when it came to polishing out what were even the events that game didn't provide.

Sure, it's interpretation and lore-diving that has so many of us clamoring like bees to pollen, and it's probably a very lucrative move on their end.

But on criticizing it on how legible it's narrative is structured and the on-going story has gone so far, all I'll say is that I've managed to understand the fandom's collective interpretation and it's trajectories, MORE SO than what Capcom has provided. It's so colorful, and there's at least an understanding of Dante's characterization AND pushes the envelope even further with him when it comes to fanfics, compared to the Too-Safe-Everything-Is-Cool-Again-Nothing-To-Worry-Look-He's-Doing-Wacky-Wahoo-Pizza-Moments-Again!-Isn't-That-What-You-Wanted moments he's always expected to go through..

And now that DMC has Pinnacle Of Combat and an upcoming Netflix Anime (and I'm calling it now, even if it's not from Adi Shankar or the one being teased in the Tudum Drop Trailer, it's still the one that's gonna be made because Capcom has already seen how lucrative enough DMC seems to be for their higher-ups & shareholders and such..), what are they adding and subtracting in the lore now, or is the anime gonna be like Arcane LOL type of adaptation, etc. IDK...

In closing this new mess, I just wanna say that DMC fans deserve a much bolder move on the og as a character.

I remember (quite vaguely, if anybody has any research on this article/artbook, lemme know because I'd read that, I crave for info) how their lead writer Bingo Morihashi has wanted to do something about DMC's story for quite a while now, but Hideaki Itsuno himself advised against such a move because it wouldn't fit the style and expectation about DMC.

If this is true, I'm like ??????? 😨

Bingo Morihashi is a novelist by career. I'm not wondering why so many of the supplementary novels are written AND taken well by the fans because I believe what he has written was always crucial to DMC. However why such skills aren't put in the same vein for the games? The games are the highlight of the franchise! It would be even more lucrative if they had let Bingo Morihashi do his thing (I really want to find this article/written interview..)

Video games today benefit a lot from narrative. It always did but with the tech today, video game screen writing is even more significant today!

I don't blame Itsuno (again if that was true....) because I actually understand because he knows the DMC fans😓 and yes I'm sure his experience with DmC has lent to some decisions from his part.

But imagine the better possibilities with the og Dante. I really think it's been long overdue to push some new boundaries with DMC.

[fandommemequeen]

my 2022.

alright gamerz itz that time of year again 4 Gamerz Yearly Retrospective!!!

so uhh im not gonna sugarcoat it: this year rlly sucked. a lot of stuff went down this year that id rather not go into detail abt here, but its been rough and unfair and sometimes i felt like it was never gonna get better. add onto that skool being mega rough, facing tons of imposter syndrome over my identity, anxiety, World Events, and fricktons of executive dysfunction, and youve got urself a total recipe for disaster.

but amidst all the doom and gloom.. i had better days. i played videogames and arcade games, i hugged the stuffing out of plushies, i anticipated release dates for new videogames, i got my hands on the g3 monster high dolls and relieved my childhood, i still luv siivagunner and wii deleted you and invader zim and deltarune, i got into just shapes & beats, i discovered the tourney community through mashup week: megamix and made some amazing friends, i got into creepypasta and yfm and osu and taiko no tatsujin and arcane and tmk, i got kirby and the forgotten land and splatoon 3 both on launch day and have had SO MUCH FUN with both of them, i luved watching ghost files and puppet history s5 after school and catching new toh and g3 monster high episodes,,

ive also acomplished some milestones too. first time getting an award for one of my cosplays, coming out as arospec [and proceeding to fall in platonic luv with my irl bestie xd], getting a compression top/binder, getting the awesome short emo hair i wanted for months, first time cosplaying at a convention, getting diagnosed with adhd and finally confirming what i had suspected for so long but never outright said due to self-doubt and fear of faking, starting medication, being in counseling/art therapy, trying sodas and monster energy and starbucks frappucchinos with no coffee, and learning to luv being "cringe".

but overall the best thing i did to make it through 2022 was,, just being me. i wrote. i drew. i roleplayed. i cosplayed. i scrolled through social media and chatted with friends far away from me. i read and wrote fanfics. i crafted. i brainstormed. i coded. i listened to music and cranked the volume on my gamer headset with cat ears. i was so very Not Normal about fictional characters. i made new friends and still kept up with old ones. i revisited old fandoms. i vibed in the front yard while listening to music. i checked the mail pretty much every day, secretly hoping one of my pieces of fandom merch would be there. i supported my family through the hard times, and they always supported me. i imagined scenarios and animatics and animation memes while listening to music. i listened to fandom lofi while trudging through overdue assignments. i rocked out to skrillex and monstercat and camellia playing beat saber at 8 in the morning for my virtual p.e. class last year. i learned the absolute beauty of platonic love. i started making unironic mary sues just for the heck of it. i felt so many emotions. i cried of happiness and of sadness. i hugged. i made vent art on my phone. i had complicated feelings. i felt like a faker at times. i was [and still am] learning to overcome climate doomism and death anxiety. i was weird, i was imperfect, i was cringe... but i was so cool for embracing my weirdness, my imperfection, and my cringiness, and i wouldnt have it any other way.

i know i can survive whatever life throws at me. ive got my friends and family by my side, and just being me in the face of.. well, everything, is the strongest thing i can do. im tired of lying down and just taking it. im tired of feeling hopeless. i will fight. i will persist. i will find ways to cope with anxiety and executive dysfunction. and above all, i will continue to love. i will love my family and friends who always have my back, i will love my interests and hobbies, no matter how weird they may seem to others, and i WILL learn to love myself.

after my 2019 retrospective post, i always hesitated a bit to look to the new year with confidence and resilience and hope, in fear of my hopes being crushed and being miserable. now i see that no matter what, lifez gonna be hard sometimes, but i am strong and i will NOT BACK DOWN.

so, for the first time in years, ill say it again. and i rlly, TRULY mean it when i say this:

BRING IT ON, 2023. this scenekid and tourney-obsessed geek can and WILL handle WHATEVER U THROW AT ME!!

[sevikasmainwhore]

hi! i love your writing style and how cute you make the themes on your posts! i was just going to humbly request (every arcane woman you do)

to react to a reader that is 6’7 and how they would feel!

again, i know you’re swamped with requests so no need to get to this ask ;) thank you for taking the time to read this and know that you’re loved by many on here

i wish i knew who you were so i could kiss you 💖

Arcane Women w/ Tall!S/o

Requested ⇢ Yes/No

Type ⇢ Headcanons ❥

❤️ Vi felt small. Like really small. It never stopped her from trying to be the bigger person though. Always trying her hardest to protect you or even doing the simplest things for you. She doesn’t ask for you to reach for anything for her because she thinks it’s disrespectful. If she can’t reach it then she’ll either climb to get it or she just won’t get it. “If it was really important then I wouldn’t have to struggle” She’d say like it was her quote or something. But overall she finds you absolutely stunning. Often wonders how someone like you could find some like her attractive and would want to spend the rest of your life with. If you ever feel insecure about your height she’d either ask who’s making you feel like that so she could call Jinx and they tag team the person or she’d give you the most beautiful compliments ever.

💙 Caitlyn felt a mix of emotions. One hand she didn’t mind feeling like she was tallest in the world. On the other hand feeling small was a new feeling she’d have to get used to. But either way it went she loved you. When Caitlyn did her little case things when she laid them out on the floor she’d ask for your help in spotting anything she couldn’t see. If you ever felt insecure about your height Caitlyn always did her best to make you feel better. She’s had her moments too so you’d both just remind each other how your both beautiful no matter how tall or small and no one should ever make you feel like you’re less than. Caitlyn has never done it before but everyone once in a while she’ll ask “How’s the weather up there” just cause she can. It’s annoying but she’d be so proud of herself.

💛 Mel felt no different about your height. If anything it gave her more teasing room. Hates asking for help from you because it makes her feel less than but you always remind her it’s ok and that you don’t mind. Doesn’t really see any difference in the relationship really. But of course there are times when height is required. Mel’s favorite part of anything is when she’s exposing something to you and you’ll be gazing off somewhere, she’d pull you by your shirt collar to her height to get you to pay attention. It always gets you where she needs you and Mel would have this prideful smirk on her face everytime. All was well really especially if you ever felt insecure, Mel would remind you of how beautiful you’re height is and how she couldn’t have asked for a better partner. But don’t tell her who made you feel this way. She’s calling a whole lockdown until someone fesses up or apologize to you.

🧡 Grayson never felt any different. She’d laugh off if you ever had to reach up to something for her. Always lets you be the small spoon just so she could whisper sweet words in your ear. You may be taller but Grayson always had a way of making you feel small. It was probably how she talked or her voice in general but something about her always made you want to drop to your knees for her. You used to visit her at her office but stopped when you heard a coworker of hers say something about you. Grayson noticed and asked why you stopped and when you told her it was like all hell broke lose. After maybe a few days Grayson wanted to come walk with her to her office. When you did everyone had there heads down, quivering in fear, not daring to look up at you both until Graysons office door was shut. You had know clue what she did but it must’ve been horrible. You couldn’t help but laugh.

🤎 Ambessa was just about up there with your height, so things were smooth, you had nothing to worry about. Looking her in the eyes was nerve wrecking though. Her gaze was powerful it always made you shrink. To her your height made her loving you easy. How she’d always caress your cheek while complimenting you for the smallest thing, how she give you neck kisses that always lead to something else. It was always pure bliss. You’d only ever be reminded of your height if someone made you feel bad. Only then that’s when she’d step in. Nothing ever escalated though because she’s so intimidating they wouldn’t dare say anything else.

💜 Sevika felt weird. She’s always been the bigger person. So having someone, especially her s/o, taller than her was a new feeling. It took a bit of getting used to but as soon as she did Sevika was all over you. Sevika always liked showing everyone how no matter how tall you were she was always top dog. She’d grab you by your shirt collar down to her height, motion for you to bend down so she could tell you something or anything to make you feel small. But behind closed doors she’s asking you through gritted teeth to get something from someplace she can’t reach. Small spoon from time because feeling vulnerable and just small was a comfortable feeling to her. Don’t tell her someone made you feel bad about your height though. She’s threatening the whole Undercity and topside to confess or she’s taking matters into her own hands. She loved you no matter what or how she felt.

💟 Renata was just an inch shorter than you. She felt a bit conflicted at first because sometimes she’d have to look up to you but that feeling didn’t last long. Likes having you sit her in lap because how flustered you get and if it’s difficult to fit all of you on her lap she’d just sit you on her desk. Doesn’t mind looking up at you from that pov because you look so beautiful. Really once Renata got used to being slightly shorter than you loving you never felt different. She always treated you like you were more which you were. Neck kisses were her favorite because of how easy you’d let her in. You were always at a perfect angle for her. Would wonder how someone as beautiful as you could ever want someone like her. Like everyone else if you ever felt insecure, no amount of money could calm her down. You’d feel bad for everyone in the office building because they’d usually be the victim of this. At least until someone fessed up about who said something to you. Renata loved you no matter what and she would give you the whole world if she could.

🤍 Cassandra was used to having a partner taller than her so nothing ever changed. But Cassandra was the type of women to make you feel inferior to her anyway so…yea. Anytime she’d have a gala or ball she’d always get asked silly questions of “Who’s the man of the relationship??” or something along those lines. Always ignored them because they made both of you uncomfortable but mainly because she didn’t want you to feel like your height was a bad thing or a masculine thing if you ever felt it was or if you were uncomfortable about it. Didn’t want to make you feel like your bad or anything so she never paid any mind to your height. Always made you feel like everyone else but special treatment because your her lover. Cassandra would be an amazing lover.

note: listening to Flight 22 while writing also I FOUND OUT HOW TO DO THE READING THING AHHHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY!!!!! also does anyone even read these???? 😭

[nora-xox]

Hello again

Got another one for you,

Jinx is always worried about her s/o being afraid of her during her bouts of madness, but how would she react when the reader snaps, take for example they get cornered by enforcers Jinx gets shot and they think it was fatal, but in actual fact its a graze, but they didnt know that and they just snap, killing without mercy going on their bouts of madness until they cool off and she her looking at them and the s/o feels dread, feeling like Jinx will leave them.

(Sorry for the long write up, if you want you can add any other Arcane characters to the mix if you want)

Yesss Thank you so much for putting in requests. They have been such fun and good ideas and i will try my best! I hope you enjoy!

Also while I have ideas for other characters in this scenario for now I shall only write for one character per post as I have a tendency to get things scrambled lol.

Again please remember I am new to these but I am having a blast writing these please if you have any ideas you wanna hear all you gotta do is request.

Jinx reaction to their Significant other snapping:

Warnings : Violence, swearing, mentions of blood, mentions of guns, mass murder.

·Jinx and you both have an equal hatred for topsiders and tend to have fun little dates ki!!ing off enforcers that come to the underground.

·Silco has no problems with the two of you blowing enforcers up in the underground they came down there so it should have been expected. Even finds it funny that you two can find such a strong bond in such a interesting way.

·Jinx and you would never try and take on more enforcers then you both thought you could handle. But as of late it seemed like more were coming in a lot larger groups.

·Jinx tends to try her best to not have her bouts of madness around you when you two are out. She doesn't want you to leave her because you think she's "too crazy" though deep down she knows as you constantly reassure her that no matter what you'll love her. So even when she starts to break down you're there for her no matter what.

·One day while doing one of the little dates you two do. You both start to notice the enforcers searching, being cautious. But the groups they were smaller again thinking nothing about how odd it was you both decide it's time to fuck with some enforcers.

· Going down to where they were you being the one who would distract while Jinx sets up her little bombs. Something felt off. But you start anyways not worried as the group of enforcers was small right so nothing to worry about.

·You were wrong quickly after things started they went south! There was enforcers every where in the buildings around you. Then it clicked jinx was in one of those buildings. Then fear spread as you hear her screaming and gun shots.

·Jinx has been hit you could tell by the sounds. Fear of how bad off she could be swirled up in side you. The need to get to her your person, the one you love. Surrounded by enforcers yourself but also not giving a shit about any of them anymore. You try and fight your way through you don't often use weapons. Your job is to slip in and out usually being there only long enough for Jinx to set her stuff up.

· But this time is different obviously. Trying to make an opening with just basic fighting wasn't working. It had gone silent in the building Jinx was in. Then you hear more gun shots! Something inside you snaps. You had to get to Jinx the game didn't matter any more.

·In an instant you pull out your own weapon slaughtering enforcer after enforcer making your way to the building you heard Jinx's scream.

·Getting covered in blood. Not even realizing or caring about it.

·The look in your eyes plus the deaths you had just caused made the enforcers stumble back. Fear making a good portion of them back off and run you had already killed the leaders.

·With enforcers running off and you still killing as many as are in your sight. Making it into the building and killing the ones in there too. Ofc most didn't see you coming till you were already there.

·Any of them in your way you were taking down. All while searching the building for Jinx. You hadn't seen her yet. Why hadn't you seen her! even more panic filled you.

·One by one enforcers fled in terror of the person slaughtering their ranks. They had planned to kill the threat that had been bombing them any time they entered but it wasn't working. How could one person slaughter this many.

·You can hear them screaming

Enforcer 1 "RUN!!"

Enforcer 2 "THEIR INSANE!

Enforcer 3"RETREAT!!RETREAT!!!"

·One by one they were fleeing but still you were killing them off. Even pausing for a moment to ask them where your girlfriend was demanding. You continue to do that untill you slaughter one of then and the person then saw not far away. Looking you in the eyes from a short distance was the one you were looking for!

·In an instant you started killing again making your way to Jinx. But the look in her eyes it was different. Was it worry? Was it fear? Was it from you? Or was she in pain? You couldn't tell your brain still clouded with anger and fear that you needed to help Jinx.

·Finally making it to her. Her also shooting down some enforcers. You grab her shoulders in desperation to know if she was seriously hurt.

·Then reality came back to you. The way you looked drenched in blood. The scene behind you the bodies.

·Jinx looking you up and down. you back away in fear that she may be scared of you! But still in fear she may be seriously hurt you look her over as well.

·Jinx's wounds were nothing bad just a few grazes nothing really deeper then a scrape. A feeling of relief filled you. She was okay....

·Jinx grabbing you herself you look her in the eyes and trying to back away. You say

"Wait you'll get" getting cut off by Jinx

"Are you hurt!? Is any of this your blood!?!?!? If they hurt you i'll chase them all down and blow them up!"

·You looking confused you thought she was scared of how you looked the way you were acting. You just slaughtered by hand a mass amount of people. But she wasn't scared or at least not of you but she was worried. Worried you were hurt!

· When you shook your head no a smile spread across her face. she hugged you thankful you didn't get injured.

"Sooo" jinx said you looking at her with a look of confusion

"So?"

" you're crazy to huh?" She says with a smirk and a little chuckle. A look shocked but not in a bad way. Both making eye contact and for a moment there was silence until your response

"Yeah I guess so"

·You both break out into laughter. Laughing even harder when you look around to see what a mess you both had made. And continuing even harder when you both look at your appearance.

·The laughter continues as you both make funny remarks to how everything is. Things like

"Hope we don't have to clean this up... It's already a disaster"

"Silco is gonna have a heart attack"

·These things only funny to you two. Both saying that this was the most interesting date yet.

·On the way back to Silco's base both of you covered in blood. Walking through the lanes people were looking at the two of you whispering. Which in all honestly just caused you both to laugh more.

"Bet their saying we look crazy" you whisper to Jinx

"Haha ohhh yeah but they wouldn't be wrong" Jinx's response and you both agreeing made you two laugh again.

·Walking into Silco's base laughing on and off with whispers in between. The people looking at you both you could tell what they were thinking. Something along the lines of "oh shit" and "fuck what did they do this time"

·Silco would order a clean up kinda hoping you hadn't just slaughtered all his enforcers he has working for him. Luckily for you two you hadn't so you both got off with nothing but a small lecture and some interesting looks.

·After all That's happened and an actual talk explaining why you snapped. You and Jinx grew closer. Jinx no longer worried at all about breaking down in front of you and you finally letting go a bit more. Both now causing even more trouble together for the enforcers and Silco's people.

[noblecrumpet-dorkvision]

5e Variant: Low Divine Magic

Sometimes divine magic seems a little too similar to arcane magic, being able to blast creatures with brilliant energy or creating something from nothing. I wanted to create a variant spell list that would make divine magic more subtle, especially at lower levels. The following is a new spell list for clerics and paladins that replaces spells that blast fire or shine holy light with psychic spells to bring followers into the fold and sinners to their knees.

There is a more complete guide for patrons on my Patreon, which includes further spells and spell lists for Nature Magic and a new thing called Celestial Magic. https://www.patreon.com/posts/56953212. The other spell lists will come in later posts, but the PDF will remain on Patreon ;)

Holy Magic

For the purpose of this guide, holy magic is a part of divine magic that is used by clerics and paladins. These two classes can choose from the new Holy Magic spell list detailed here. The new list is thematically different than it was before, using mental magic or miracles instead of radiance.

Faith of the Mind

Many evocation and conjuration spells were removed from the normal divine lists and replaced with enchantment spells. Clerics and paladins no longer use radiant damage to smite their foes, but now utilize the power of the mind. These chosen holy warriors now wrack the minds of heretics and evildoers with guilt, visions of the gods, or fear. Clerics and Paladins now specialize in psychic damage, with some enchantment support, as well.

Side note: Paladins might want to deal psychic or necrotic damage with their smites instead of radiant if they are using this variant. 

Faith in Miracles

Other than magic that affects the mind, divine spellcasters also put their faith in divine coincidence. They pray for aid, and the gods respond by causing convenient miracles to occur. The extent of the miracles is based on the power of the priest. Everything can come down to the description of spells. Divine circumstance becomes the priest's miracle.

Faith in Luck

The variant presented in this guide assumes that healing magic is not knitting wounds back together before one's eyes. Instead, healing magic simply increases the target's chances of survival and inspires them to keep conscious through divine intervention. Reaching 0 hit points is a matter of one's luck running out, or the enemy finally landing a mortal blow. Higher-level resurrection and regeneration may be more difficult to justify, but perhaps that’s a true miracle rather than luck.

Faith in Death

Magic that creates undead or deals necrotic damage is described differently in terms of holy magic. Necrotic damage ravages creatures with disease or festers old and existing wounds, rather than sending shadowy tendrils or glowing energy to attack foes.

Undead arise on their own in a fantasy world, and a wielder of holy magic simply helps the process along by bringing a deity's attention to a corpse and inviting undeath within. This process is ritualistic, but shows no flashing lights or energy.

Use the above spell list to replace the one for clerics and paladins. If you would like to only have low-magic at lower levels, instead only replace the spell list for spell levels 1st-4th, making 5th-level spells and higher seem far more miraculous and reality-bending.

See below the jump for new spell descriptions.

New Spells

Some of these spells are direct replacements from the cleric and paladin spell lists. Some have even been reworked in this way, such as Spiritual Guardians’ replacement (I always felt as if this spell is the default or automatic choice, so I made it require a teeny bit of thought)

Toll the Dead/Sacred Flame > Afflict/Condemn

Light > Eternal Light

Word of Radiance > Word of Rebuke

Divine Favor > Divine Glory

Guiding Bolt > Guided Strike

Ray of Sickness (grave/death clerics’ domains) > Sicken 

Daylight > Dispel Darkness (weaker, thus 2nd level)

Spiritual Weapon >  Spiritual Fervor

Spiritual Guardians > Afflicting/Condemning Aura

Divine Mantle > Mantle of Glory

Create Food and Water > Prayer of Plenty

Stoneskin > Sheltering Grace

Guardian of Faith > Ward of Faith

Thunderous Smite > Mighty Smite

Searing Smite > Penitent Smite/Wounding Smite (one is psychic, the other is necrotic)

Branding Smite > Afflicting/Condemning Smite

Blinding Smite > Routing Smite (frightens instead of blinds, so it affects multiple instead)

Afflict / Condemn

Enchantment or necromancy cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 60 ft.

Components: V, M (a holy symbol)

Duration: Instantaneous

This spell has two modes: Affliction and Condemnation. Choose one when you learn this cantrip or whenever you level up.

Affliction. (necromancy) You point at one suffering creature you can see within range, which causes their wounds to fester greatly. If the target is Poisoned or has less than half its total hit points, it must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or take 1d12 necrotic damage.

The spell’s damage increases by 1d12 when you reach 5th level (2d12), 11th level (3d12), and 17th level (4dl2).

Condemnation. (enchantment) You condemn a creature you can see within range to its doom, causing them anguish. If the target is Frightened or has more than half its total hit points, it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 1d12 psychic damage.

The spell’s damage increases by 1d12 when you reach 5th level (2d12), 11th level (3d12), and 17th level (4dl2).

Afflicting / Condemning Strike

Enchantment or necromancy cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: Self

Components: V, S, M (a melee weapon worth at least 1 sp)

Duration: Instantaneous

You brandish the weapon used in the spell's casting and make a melee attack with it against one creature within 5 feet of you. You may use your spellcasting ability modifier for the attack roll if it is higher. On a hit, the target suffers the weapon attack's normal effects plus one of the following modes.

This spell has two modes: Affliction and Condemnation. Choose one when you learn this cantrip or whenever you level up.

Affliction. (necromancy) The creature takes an additional 1d8 necrotic damage if the creature is Poisoned or has less than half its total hit points. The necrotic damage increases by 1d8 when you reach 5th level (2d8), 11th level (3d8), and 17th level (4d8).

Condemnation. (enchantment) The creature takes an additional 1d8 psychic damage if the creature is Frightened or has more than half its total hit points. The psychic damage increases by 1d8 when you reach 5th level (2d8), 11th level (3d8), and 17th level (4d8).

Afflicting / Condemning Smite

2nd-level enchantment or necromancy

Casting Time: 1 bonus action

Range: Self

Components: V

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

This spell has two modes: Affliction and Condemnation. Choose one when you learn this spell or whenever you level up.

Affliction. (necromancy) The next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before this spell ends, the target's wounds surge with disease. The creature takes an additional 2d6 necrotic damage if the creature is Poisoned or has less than half its total hit points. Whether or not the creature took this bonus damage, the target cannot regain hit points until the spell ends.

Condemnation. (enchantment) The next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before this spell ends, you judge them for their trespasses and will them to face you. The creature takes an additional 2d6 psychic damage if the creature is Frightened or has more than half its total hit points. The target becomes visible if it’s invisible, and can’t become invisible until the spell ends.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, the extra damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 2nd.

Aura of Affliction / Condemnation

3rd-level enchantment or necromancy

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: Self (15-foot radius)

Components: V, S, M (a holy symbol)

Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes

You emanate a harmful aura out to 15 feet. When you cast this spell, you can designate any number of creatures you can see to be unaffected by it.

Creatures must spend 2 feet of movement for every 1 foot moved while inside the aura, and they are affected by one of the spell's modes. This spell has two modes: Affliction and Condemnation. Choose one when you learn this spell or whenever you level up.

Affliction. (necromancy) When a creature that is Poisoned or has less than half its total hit points enters the area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there, it must make a Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, the creature takes 3d10 necrotic damage, or half as much on a successful save.

Condemnation. (enchantment) When a creature that is Frightened or has more than half its total hit points enters the area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there, it must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature takes 3d10 psychic damage, or half as much on a successful save.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by one die for each slot level above 3rd.

Castigate

Enchantment cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 60 ft.

Components: V, M (a holy symbol)

Duration: Instantaneous

You choose one creature you can see within range and fill them with guilt. If the target can hear you (though it need not understand you), it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 1d4 psychic damage and have disadvantage on the next attack roll it makes before the end of its next turn.

The spell’s damage increases by 1d4 when you reach 5th level (2d4), 11th level (3d4), and 17th level (4d4).

Divine Glory

1st-level enchantment

Casting Time: 1 bonus action

Range: Self

Components: V, S

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

Your prayer empowers you with divine purpose. Until the spell ends, your weapon attacks deal a bonus 1d4 damage on a hit.

Dispel Darkness

2nd-level abjuration

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M (a holy symbol)

Duration: 10 minutes

You sanctify the light of one lit candle, torch, lantern, or other light source you touch. The light gains the following benefits until the spell ends or until it is extinguished:

The light source sheds light through magical darkness at half its normal illumination. 

If the light touches an area of magical darkness created by a spell of 2nd-level or lower, that spell ends.

Creatures with sensitivity to sunlight treat the light as if it were sunlight.

Drain Life

5th-level necromancy

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M (a holy symbol)

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

You present your holy symbol and make a melee spell attack against a creature. On a hit, the creature doubles over in pain as you are filled with divine vigor. The target takes 4d8 necrotic damage and you then regain 3d8 hit points. The creature then makes a Charisma saving throw or becomes incapacitated while the spell persists. The creature makes a new save at the end of each of their turns and whenever they take damage from a source other than this spell, ending the spell on a success.

During each of your turns while the spell persists, you can use your action to deal damage and regain hit points again per the spell, no save required, as long as you continue to touch the creature.

When a creature is slain by this spell, you may decrease your age by 1d12 months.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 6th level or higher, the damage and healing increase by 1d8 per spell level above 5th.

Eternal Light

Evocation cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 30 ft.

Components: V

Duration: 24 hours

You speak a prayer. One candle, torch or lantern you choose within range lights (if not already lit), and burns 24 hours instead of its normal time. The flame also resists being extinguished by wind, but not being doused or snuffed.

Only three instances of this spell can be active at a time. If you cast the spell while three instances are already in effect, choose one of the previous spells to end.

Guided Strike

1st-level divination

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: Self

Components: V, S, M (a melee weapon worth at least 1 sp)

Duration: Instantaneous

You invoke your deity to guide your attack and help an ally do the same. You brandish the weapon used in the spell's casting and make a weapon attack against a creature within your weapon's range. You may use your spellcasting ability modifier for the attack roll if it is higher. On a hit, the target takes a bonus 2d8 psychic damage and the next attack made against the target is made with advantage.

Judgment

Divination cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 60 ft.

Components: V, S, M (a holy symbol)

Duration: 1 Round

You loudly pass judgment on a creature you can see within range, bringing it closer to doom. The target is cursed until the end of your next turn. The next time the cursed target is dealt damage from an attack, they take an additional 1d6 damage of the same type. If the attack has multiple damage types, you may choose one. Once the target takes this extra damage, the spell ends.

The bonus damage increases by 1d6 when you reach 5th level (2d6), 11th level (3d6), and 17th level (4d6).

Mantle of Glory

3rd-level enchantment

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: Self

Components: V

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

You emanate an aura of menace towards heretics, promising glory to your compatriots. Until the spell ends, nonhostile creatures in the area (including you) deal an extra 1d4 psychic damage when it hits with a weapon attack.

Mighty Smite

1st-level evocation

Casting Time: 1 bonus action

Range: Self

Components: V

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

The next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before this spell ends, it deals a mighty blow and terrifies onlookers. The target takes an additional 2d6 bludgeoning damage. Then, that creature must make a Strength saving throw or be pushed 10 feet away from you and knocked prone.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each spell level above 1st. If you use a 5th level spell slot, the creature is also stunned until the start of your next turn on a failed save.

Penitent Smite

1st-level enchantment

Casting Time: 1 bonus action

Range: Self

Components: V

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

The next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before this spell ends, the creature becomes wracked with guilt. The target takes an additional 1d6 psychic damage. At the start of each of their turns until the spell ends, the creature must make a Wisdom saving throw or take 1d6 psychic damage. On a successful save, the spell ends.

Another creature can use an action to reassure the creature, ending the spell.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the initial extra damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.

Prayer of Plenty

3rd-level divination

Casting Time: 10 minutes

Range: 30 feet

Components: V, S, M (an offering worth 10 gold pieces, consumed by the spell)

Duration: Concentration, up to 8 hours

You chant a prayer and present an offering to your deity. When the spell is cast, you may choose up to nine creatures within range (including yourself). Each of those creatures gains advantage on their next Wisdom (Survival) check made to forage or hunt for food. If successful, each creature adds your spellcasting ability modifier to the amount of pounds of food and gallons of water found.

Routing Smite

3rd-level enchantment

Casting Time: 1 bonus action

Range: Self

Components: V

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

The next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before this spell ends, it deals a mighty blow and terrifies onlookers. The target takes an additional 3d8 psychic damage. Then, that creature and each other hostile creature within 20 feet of the target must make a Charisma saving throw. Each creature that fails this save becomes frightened of you until the spell ends.

Frightened creatures can attempt a new saving throw at the end of each of their turns, ending the spell for that creature on a success.

If the initial target was reduced to 0 hit points by this spell, creatures frightened by this spell must take the Dash action and move away from you by the safest available route on each of its turns, unless there is nowhere to move.

Sheltering Grace

4th-level abjuration

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M (gem dust worth 100 gp, which the spell consumes)

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour

You invite a deity to protect a creature you touch. They gain resistance to nonmagical bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage until the spell ends.

Sicken

1st-level necromancy

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 60 feet

Components: V, S, M (a holy symbol)

Duration: Instantaneous

You present your holy symbol to a creature within range, nauseating them. That creature must make a Constitution saving throw or take 3d4 poison damage and becomes poisoned until the start of your next turn.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 2d4 per spell level above 1st and the poisoned condition lasts for a number of rounds equal to the spell slot spent.

Spiritual Fervor

2nd-level enchantment

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 20 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

You chant a litany of prayer to instill zeal in your allies, directing them with their attacks. During each of your turns, you can use a bonus action to inspire yourself or an ally to immediately make a melee weapon attack against a creature of their choice using a melee weapon they are wielding.

If you target an ally, they must be within 30 feet of you, you must be able to see them, and they must be able to hear you. An ally must also use their reaction to make the attack.

Ward of Faith

4th-level abjuration

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 5 feet

Components: V, S, M (knife, chisel, or chalk)

Duration: 8 hours

You ward an area from intruders by carving, chiseling, or drawing a holy symbol on a flat surface within range.

Whenever a creature moves to a space within 10 feet of the ward for the first time on a turn, it receives a horrific vision of being smote by your deity. That creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 20 psychic damage and become frightened of the ward until the start of their next turn. One a successful save, the creature takes 10 psychic damage and is not frightened. The ward loses its efficacy once it has dealt a total of 60 damage.

When the spell is cast, you can choose any number of creatures not to be affected by it. Creatures that truly worship your deity are also not affected by the ward.

Word of Rebuke

Enchantment cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 5 ft.

Components: V, M (a holy symbol)

Duration: Instantaneous

You utter a divine word of rebuke. Each creature within 5 feet of you must make a Charisma saving throw or take 1d6 psychic damage.

The spell’s damage increases by 1d6 when you reach 5th level (2d6), 11th level (3d6), and 17th level (4d6).

Wounding Smite

1st-level necromancy

Casting Time: 1 bonus action

Range: Self

Components: V

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

The next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before this spell ends, the wound bleeds profusely. The target takes an additional 1d6 necrotic damage. At the start of each of their turns until the spell ends, the creature must make a Constitution saving throw or take 1d6 necrotic damage. On a successful save, the spell ends.

Another creature can use an action to staunch the wound, ending the spell.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the initial extra damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.

[utilitycaster]

(I wrote this right after the Campaign 2 finale; I originally intended to make it part of a much larger epistolary work, but I haven't made great progress on that so I'll post it here for now)

------

There are reasons public speaking is feared more than death.

The first is that people speak publicly all the time, but most of us die once. We know the jump in the stomach, the dry mouth, the blank mind, the shake in the voice. They are intimate if unwelcome guests to us. Death, though? Death is a stranger.

The second is that people speak publicly all the time, but most of us die once. Speeches carry obligations. Speeches have consequences. Death is a catastrophe for the self, but once it sets in, nothing else touches you.

(Or so many believe, anyway. I have only been dead once, and not for long enough to truly get an impression of the experience beyond its emptiness.)

The third is that they are remarkably similar exercises, when it gets down to it. When the time comes, you will regret you did not do enough. But then, too much planning can make for an artificial experience. When they happen, you are alone, but you are the center of attention.

It is a lot of pressure.

I suppose this is the strangest congratulations message you will receive, Astrid, but it is the one I can give.

I am an experienced writer of letters and yet this one is difficult to pen. You are aware of the most recent events in my life; we have spoken quite recently, if under somewhat painful circumstances. And, when I return to the Empire after a few more brief errands, I am sure our paths will cross again. Unless you do not wish it. I understand if that is the case.

Regardless, it is difficult to fill this with the happenings of my days.

I have been thinking recently about what drives one towards the study of the arcane in the first place, as it is not the only form of curiosity. Some explore the world, or study history, or the natural sciences. I often wonder what my life would have been had I not been selected for the academy - if at a point of great change things had gone differently. Perhaps as a young man I would have made my way to the Cobalt Soul and become one of its archivists. But it seems to me increasingly likely that I would have stayed in Blumenthal and become the next teacher after the woman who taught me my letters retired, and I would have lived quietly and happily.

I went back, Astrid, a few days ago. It is harvest time there, and it smells as it did when I was young. I had worried that it wouldn't, that the apples were truly not as sweet as I recalled them being, but they were. I have taken a few, if you would like.

I might have been a teacher there for my whole life, were it not for chance. But you? I have friends who believe in destiny. I myself do not, and yet I do not see a way you would have ever become anything less than you are now.

There is a long road ahead of us both. One very different, perhaps, than what we imagined, but I am hopeful that we may, from time to time, travel on it as colleagues.

Please send my love to Eadwulf, and my regards to the Martinet Da'leth. Indeed, I must finish up this letter before I speak to Mr. Thelyss, who has recently returned from a fact-finding expedition in Molaesmyr.

Yours,

Caleb Widogast