#made them in the seems to indulge myself and they had a baby and for lack of good name ideas I had them name her miki

[thecard]

Akimitsu baby would be really cute tho (feral child with Akihiko energy)

Bonus:

Unable to pull up the game rn but I made this of their sims baby (link to the picrew generator in photo description).

[minghaoes]

pouty cuddles [drabble]

mingyu comes home after a day of filming gose and everyone's been meaner to him than usually. what else could he need than being in your arms and dramatically complain about his members, who he loves dearly?

TAGS: kim mingyu x gn!reader, fluff, established relationship, the members are mean to mingyu but he's handling it like a champ (he isn't)

WORD COUNT: 800 words

a/n: my first seventeen fic !! i haven't written fanfics in a minute and i'm a bit rusty so it's shorter than what i will post in the future, but i hope that y'all will enjoy it nevertheless :) please let me know what you think and happy reading !!

Mingyu was pouting. His lower lip was slightly puffed, his cheeks looked a little rounder than they usually did, and his eyes, his eyes were big and brown as they looked right into yours. His head was resting on your chest close to your chin, and Mingyu could not stop staring at your face. His arms were wrapped around your waist, and he seemed comically small in that moment. 

Your left hand softly caressed the warm skin on his back, as the fingers on your right slowly played with his curls. Mingyu sighed quietly and leaned into your touch, not before exaggerating his pout just a little bit more. It was enough to make you coo at him and press a butterfly kiss on the tip of his nose.

“They were mean to me,” Mingyu said, the pout ever so evident in his voice. You suppressed a laugh and indulged in his behaviour. “Who was mean to you, baby?”

Mingyu closed his eyes at the pet name and pressed his body even closer to yours. His body felt heavy on yours, but still comfortable. The warmth radiating from his body was enough to keep you warm, to keep you happy. 

“The members,” he mumbled, and shuffled a bit further up. Nuzzling his face into your neck, he complained: “They said I’m always scared.”

It took you a lot of self restraint to not start laughing. Granted, Mingyu had not been telling you what today’s episode was about, but considering you know how your boyfriend behaved in certain situations, the members’ statement was not that far off from the truth. Yet, the pout on Mingyu’s face was enough to have you reconsider agreeing with them, even playfully. Instead, you opted for lightly scratching his head and pressing a kiss on top of his hair. “My poor baby.”

“Yes, I am,” Mingyu nodded. His lips grazed the skin of your neck and you smiled, hugging him closer to your chest. In response, Mingyu hummed and kissed the same spot softly. He kept kissing you over and over again, until he started speaking again.

“I’m not actually mad at them,” he confessed, and you hummed, “Who would have thought.”

“HOWEVER,” he interrupted you sassily, another pout already forming on his plush lips, “I’m not scared of everything.”

You smiled at him, but Mingyu only furrowed his eyebrows. Your right hand wandered further down from his hair to his forehead, to massage the worry line gently. 

“I’m not scared of being with you,” Mingyu confessed quietly. His eyes flickered back down, feeling less confident now that you reciprocated his gaze. “I’m not scared of committing to you. To give myself to you.”

It was your turn to furrow your eyebrows now. You tried to sit up straight, but Mingyu would not let you. Instead, you opted for hugging him with both of your arms around his neck. 

“Where’s that coming from, darling?”

Mingyu whined and put his head back into place right in the crease of your neck, right on top of your shoulder. 

“Just been thinking ‘bout marriage a lot lately, that’s all,” he replied casually, not knowing that the simple words made your heart beat just a little bit faster than it already did. 

“Yeah?” you replied breathlessly, trying your best to maintain your breathing. Mingyu nodded again, sounding a bit more insecure this time. “If that’s what you’re considering too. No pressure if you’re not interested. I mean, I would be hurt by it, but I respect any decision you might mak-” 

Giggling, you pulled Mingyu’s head up to press a kiss on his lips. Your hand was holding his cheek and caressing the soft skin below your fingertips. In turn, Mingyu’s eyes returned to your face, the same big and brown eyes you had grown to love. The pout was evident on his lips again, and in response, you kissed him over and over again, until the lovesick frown returned to his brows, his eyes softer than you have ever seen them.

“Of course I’ve been thinking about it too,” you admitted, pressing another kiss on the tip of his nose. Mingyu turned his head upwards, trying to catch your lips with his. He whined when you pulled away, his lips returning to his natural pout. 

“Baby,” he said, his eyes switching back and forth between your eyes and your lips, “that’s unfair. I’m still sad. Why are all of you always mean to me?”

You cooed and littered his entire face with kisses. Mingyu giggled at your antics and sighed contentedly. For now, you did not have to know that his members had been nagging him about proposing to you. The box he was hiding in his sock drawer was also completely unrelated to his theatrics. 

[bloatedandalone04]

Like Fine Wine

➪the one where you can’t resist hayden’s look for his role in ahsoka.

Warnings: hubby hayden bc i want to marry this man so badly, current age (or 41 year old) hayden, smut, fluff, pet names, unprotected sex, handjob (brief), hair pulling, soft smut, you guys just straight up loving on each other, reader is feral for him, spoilers for ahsoka if you haven’t seen the last 2 episodes, takes place during the filming of ahsoka (back in may 2022), this is just self-indulgent tbh

Word Count: 2.5k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

When you finally made your way back to the hotel room you and Hayden were staying at during the filming of Ahsoka, the last thing you were expecting to see was your husband propped up against the headboard, shirtless with grey sweats covering his lower half, and the script for tomorrow in his hands. 

He looked absolutely divine, and you bit back a moan at the mere sight of him, the wine bottle you had bought from the store across the street nearly slipping from your grasp.

When he heard the door open but didn’t hear your voice right after, Hayden looked up to see you standing in the doorway, an unreadable expression on your face as you stared at him. “Hey, baby,” he murmured in a greeting, flipping the script back to the first page as you closed the door without breaking eye contact. “I was going to ask if you wanted to go over this scene with me, but you seem…preoccupied. What’s on your mind?”

You set the bottle down on the table by the door, shrugging off your jacket as you stepped towards him. “I was just thinking,” you trailed off, biting your lip as your eyes stalked his body like he was prey. 

Hayden sat up against the headboard, a teasing glint in his eye. “About what?”

Kneeling on the bed, you kick off your shoes before crawling over to him and straddling his lap. “About what I could’ve possibly done to deserve such a hot husband,” you answer, taking the package of papers from him and dropping them on the rug beside the bed. 

His hands instinctively grab your waist, his own eyes raking up and down your face. “Eighteen years together and you’re only asking that now?” He teased, his fingers lifting your shirt slightly so he could feel your skin on his. 

“Oh, no, I’ve been asking myself that since the day you messed up your practice run with Ewan and had to restart it from the very beginning,” you say back, watching as a knowing smile graced his lips.

“That was only because you walked on set looking like something right off of the red carpet. Kinda like how you look right now,” he not so subtly gazed down at your body, his blue eyes beginning to darken the longer he had you on top of him.

You roll your eyes but blush at his forward words, resting your hands on his shoulders. Eighteen years together and fifteen since you’ve been married, and he still was able to effortlessly make you feel like you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 

Your engagement ring and wedding band reflected off the single lamp he turned on, unknowingly setting the mood for when you got back. It was on the bedside table next to his phone, which had been turned completely off since he was away from set and planned to spend the rest of his night with you. 

“Aren’t you a charmer?” You mumbled, feeling the cool metal of his own wedding band, that was identical to yours, pressed against the heated skin of your hip. “Seriously, do you even realize how good you look right now?” 

His hair was still somewhat styled in his clone wars look for the flashback scene, and the way it curled in certain spots had your whole body aching for him. If he hadn’t taken off the makeup for the scar already, you probably would’ve been wrapped around him by now. “I don’t know,” he answered, kissing you back when you placed your mouth against his. “I’m not sure I can believe it after you told me that about ten times on set earlier today.”

You and he had actually met during the filming of Star Wars Episode II, but didn’t start dating until Episode III had been fully completed. You went to the premiere together and that was your public debut as a couple, and you still remembered how loudly the fans cheered when he kissed you right there on the carpet.

You, too, would be in a few flashbacks towards the end of the series, in the form of your Force Ghost. Your character was killed in the last half of Episode III by Anakin himself, and you still remembered filming that scene like it was yesterday. 

The tears you shed that day were one hundred percent real, as you were actually saying goodbye to the character that introduced you to your future husband. At that point you and Hayden had gone on several low-key dates, but didn’t become official until a couple of months later. His acting was also more real than not in that scene as he had to pretend to kill you in a somewhat brutal way.

To revisit your character for the first time in over a decade was one of the best opportunities you had ever gotten, and you could only assume that this was how Hayden felt when he was asked to return as Anakin in Obi-Wan. While your scenes wouldn’t be filmed for a few more weeks, Hayden still insisted you stay with him until the filming was wrapped up completely. 

“I’m not apologizing for hyping up my husband,” you say against his lips. “I’m being so serious, Hayden, you look good.”

He grins up at you, pulling your body closer until your chest pressed right up against his, the subtle rock of your hips making you suppress a moan. “Well, thank you, sweet girl,” he nudges your nose with his. “I can always count on you to make me feel good about myself.”

“You so can,” you agree, trailing your hands down his toned chest, smirking at the way his stomach muscle flexed at your light touch. “You’re so attractive, I don’t think you even realize it.”

Hayden hummed, slowly dragging his hands up your body and taking your shirt along the way. “I could say the same thing about you,” he said before asking, “You’re awfully flirty tonight, what’s got you all worked up?”

“You,” came your simple reply, your fingers pulling at the loose string of his sweats. You lean down to place a chaste kiss to his lips, one that leaves him wanting more as you descend your mouth down to his shoulder, where you place a few open mouthed kisses to his skin. “You, being so unbelievably sexy when you’re back in your element on set. The way you looked when you were practicing earlier? The way you look now? You don’t know the things you do to me, Hayden.”

“I beg to differ,” he rasps out when you place another kiss to the base of his throat, his hands quickly fumbling to take off your shirt. It drops to the floor beside the script and you lift your head so you were looking right at him, your body level with his as you slowly rocked your hips against his. “Y/n.”

You give him a teasing grin, sliding your hands down his sides before they land on the front of his sweats. “I know,”you murmur and kiss him slowly, slipping your hand past the waistline and palming him. You hold back a smirk when you find him already hard for you, his body’s way of responding to yours every time you come onto him. “I just want to make you feel as good as you look.”

Hayden huffed out a breathy moan as you pulled him free from the sweatpants. “I want to make you feel good, too, baby,” he managed to say as you wrapped your hand around him, slowly stroking him. 

You hum, “I already feel good from just looking at you,” 

A ghost of a moan escaped your lips when leaned forward to kiss your exposed shoulder in an attempt to quiet his own sounds. 

Though this was a nice hotel, he still didn’t want to risk the possibility of the walls being thin enough for him to receive noise complaints, though the thought had him growing harder in your hand. 

“You don’t know how much you turn me on,” you nearly whisper, the pad of your thumb brushing over his tip and making him groan quietly against your skin.

“After twenty years of knowing you, I think I know exactly how much I turn you on,” he mumbled, bucking his hips up so you stroked him a bit harder. “It’s the same way with you, baby. You make me feel so good all the time.”

You whimper quietly when his hand slips inside the front of your leggings, biting down harshly on your bottom lip when he finds your clothed clit with no trouble at all. Being intimate with the same person for half your life came with that perk. “I want you so bad,”

Hayden lifted his head back up to connect your lips in a kiss, murmuring, “You have me. Since that first day I saw you, I’ve been all yours,” when he pulls away to lift your hips in order to rid you of your leggings and the lace that covered your core. “I love you, Y/n Christensen.”

You moaned at that, moving back to straddle his hips again. Gripping the sides of his neck, you use the tips of your thumbs to tilt his head up in order to be able to give him a deep kiss. “I love you,” you whined as he guided your heat over him a few times, prepping both himself and you with your slickness. “My hot, sexy husband.”

And then you were lifting your hips and sliding onto him until he was buried deep within you. Your hips met his as moans escaped both of you, with Hayden leaning back against the pillows and headboard to let you take full control. 

While he always wanted you in this way, seeing him as Anakin again clearly did something to you, and he was more than okay with letting you take the lead like you needed to. 

You close your eyes and grip his shoulders, moaning softly when you lift yourself up before dropping back down again. “I’m never getting over this,” you confess, though it wasn’t new news. Even though you had been together for nearly two decades, you still hadn’t grown tired of each other, further proving the fact that you were meant to be together. “Fuck.”

Hayden groaned under his breath, his hands gripping your waist as you began to slowly ride him. “Just like that, sweet girl,” he praised softly, feeling the way you clenched around him at his words. “We fit so well together, don’t we? Make each other feel so good.”

You moan a bit louder, nodding quickly as your hands move to tangle in his  hair. The fact that it was you who got to see him like this, and it was you who got to mess up his Anakin-styled hair had you going a bit feral.

“So good,” you agree, dropping yourself down on him with a bit more force, really setting a pace that would ensure you both wouldn’t last too long. He is forty one and you were pushing thirty nine, you couldn’t really expect to be as durable in the bedroom after a long day of filming. 

Still, when he hadn’t spent a whole day on set, Hayden could go for longer, simply because he aged unbelievably well and kept his body in great shape. 

He also wasn’t expecting you to want to jump his bones as soon as you got back from your wine run after he changed into more comfortable clothing, planning on going over a few of his scenes with you before bed. 

That still didn’t stop him from letting you completely drain any and all energy he had left from the day as you grind your hips against his. Small, needy whines left your pretty lips as you moved further down on him, driving him even deeper into your willing and wanting walls. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he couldn’t help but say, making your pace falter slightly as you flushed at his words. “My girl. The prettiest woman in the world.” He complimented as his hands slid up your back and expertly unclasped your bra. 

He pulled it from your body and replaced it with his hands, his thumbs and index fingers pinching and pulling at your nipples. You whimper at the feeling of his smooth fingers against your sensitive buds, tugging harshly at his strands. “Hayden,” you murmur, guiding him into you quicker with swift grinds of your hips. “Oh, fuck.”

“Yeah, baby,” he said under his breath, trailing one hand down to circle your throbbing clit with his thumb. His other hand moved to tightly grip your hip again as you picked up the pace, beginning to feel that tight sensation forming in your abdomen. “You feel so good. So good for me, baby, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You cry out, squeezing your eyes shut as you pulse around him, your thighs burning with exertion and forcing you to stop for a brief second before Hayden grabs your other hip and begins thrusting up into you. “Yes,” you gasp out, tangling your hands tighter in his hair as he lifts himself up from against the pillows to really allow him to drive himself impossibly deeper inside you. “Oh, fuck, yes, don’t stop, Hayden, please.”

How could he deny you your wish? In all honesty, he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to stop, anyway, as you were clenching so tightly around him and sucking him in as deep as he could go, he almost blacked out for a second from how blinding the feeling was. 

“Come for me, sweet girl,” he requested quietly in your ear, his deep and raspy voice making you clench tighter around him as your walls pulsed in time with his quick thrusts. “I want you to, want to feel it.”

Your mouth opened in a faint cry and your stomach swelled as you wrapped your arms tightly around him. As your whole body tensed up in his arms, Hayden felt your walls spasm slightly before he also felt the flood of your release coat him. It gave him the perfect amount of friction for him to fall not too far behind. 

His jaw locked slightly, his hands wrapping around your middle and pulling you closer to him as he, too, came. Deep within you, he pushed his seed further with a few extra thrusts before he was forced to stop due to the sensitivity of it all. 

With his last remaining energy, he lifted you up and set you down on the bed next to him. He hovered over you a second later, wrapping your legs around his waist as he nuzzled his head in between the space of your neck and shoulder. “I love you so much,” he whispered in between peppered kisses to your sweaty skin. “Thank you for always making me feel like the most important person, everyday.”

You ran your fingers through his damp and messy hair, playing with the curls as a smile formed on your lips. “You are the most important person,” you reminded him, kissing him quickly before wrapping your arms around him and pulling him further down onto you. “And I love you, too.”

[eviesaurusrex]

ꜱᴜɴꜱʜɪɴᴇ ᴋɪꜱꜱᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇꜱ | ʜ. ꜱᴛʏʟᴇꜱ

GIFs not mine!

»kinda pt. 2 to this little request but it’s not required to read this now«

summary: After getting rid of every contraception method they ever used, Harry and YN finally start trying for a baby while enjoying their time in Australia.

word count: 7.3k (whoopsie)

warnings: +18 content, MDNI (I mean it), oral sex (both receiving), p in v, fluff, sweet lovemaking, loads of praises, some dirty talk, Harry has a breeding kink, and they’re both a bit possessive (not even sorry), sweet, fluffy aftercare, mentions of anxiety and future talk, mentions of pregnancy tests and being pregnant, pov always kinda jumping between YN and Harry because I obviously can’t stick to one, not 100% proofread

author’s note: This is my first ever full-on smut piece, so be gentle with me. I’m trying my best, okay? But I just couldn’t help myself, so I had to write this. Plus, I saw the pictures and gifs of Harry during his Australian shows, and he looks so damn happy there, so that certainly was another reason to write this. I don’t use the taglist this time because of the prominent 18+ topic.

»ᴍᴅɴɪ«

***

Impatiently, YN sat on the edge of the ridiculously large king-size bed their hotel suite was practically dominated by, eyes jumping between the door to the grand bathroom, in which Harry took a well-deserved shower after another exceptional show, and the phone in her restless hands, showing their shared cycle tracker. Ever since their lengthy talk right after Christmas about their future and the family planning they might wanted to start sooner rather than later, YN had abandoned every protection method in use and had gifted Gemma the several unopened packs of condoms waiting on their bathroom shelves and in their nightstand drawers.

What could she say? Harry and her always heavily indulged in the passion as soon as it came upon them—they probably had fucked on every possible surface in their shared homes. Even the floor of the several rooms they owned wasn’t unscathed.

A grin tucked at her lips as YN thought about the many risky escapades they continuously had found themselves in after a glass of wine too many in the hours prior to them, and almost fell off the bed as the door suddenly opened without warning, letting a steamy Harry back into the bedroom. The woman, already dressed in a too-large, on-her-body-hanging t-shirt of his and ready for a cozy night in bed with some Netflix, jumped from the edge she had been perched on the entire time since her phone had alarmed her of the day right after turning off the Do not disturb mode she always used during his shows. Wide eyes looked over to an only barely dried-off man, steam evaporating behind him into the warm air of their shared suite, the balcony doors widely opened to let in the fresh breeze of a beautiful Sydney night, the salty smell of the ocean mixing with the heavy scents of his favorite shower gel and shampoo.

YN couldn’t press a single word out of her abruptly constricted throat, her vocal cords twisting at the delicious, quite unexpected sight in front of her. Her eyes jumped from his handsome as-ever face over his exposed broad chest and chiseled abs, down over his veiny arms to his sexy hands—she was a weak woman, and she adored his hands to an unhealthy extent—in one he held his phone, showing the same screen she had faced for over fifteen minutes of agonizingly building anticipation of what might come tonight.

Harry’s eyes had already settled onto her own hand, holding her own phone before jumping back up to her face, cocking one perfect eyebrow before a lazy, teasing smirk made its appearance, letting him seem even more handsome than he already was. “You should’ve joined me in that shower, love,” he stated, turning off the light behind him. He walked through the room, his feet making almost no sound on the stone floor, coming closer and closer to her already overheating body. With a dry swallow, YN softly shrugged her shoulders. “Thought you could use the downtime, y’know?” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she felt her heartbeat picking up, jumping even as Harry finally stopped right in front of her, right in arms reach. He cocked his head to one sight and watched her closely, eyebrows now gently furrowed in loving worry. “We don’t have to do this tonight, darlin’. We can easily wait for next month, or the month after, or even the month after that one if you think we should wait a bit more. I’ll do whatever you’re most comfortable with, y’know that, don’t you? I would never pressure you into this, no matter how many alarms we’ve set in the past because we thought we’d be ready.” His voice had lost the teasing, almost feral undertone and only left space for the man who would always put his woman first, no matter what.

Stretching her hand out, YN took the phone out of Harry’s and threw both devices onto the armchair next to the bed where her concert outfit lay, entirely forgotten, and letting her hands cup his face tenderly. He wrapped her into his arms straight away, pulling her body flush against his, and watched the woman he loved while she watched him just as closely. She let her fingertips glide over his skin, gently caressing his cheek, his neck, before burrowing them in the short, curly hair at the nape of his neck. Instantly, she could feel something twitch against her stomach, and with a small grin, YN tucked at his hair a second time, tickling a silent groan out of him.

“I know you would bring me the stars if I ever asked for them, but tonight, I want you to ravish me. I want you to fuck me as hard and best as possible. I only want to be able to moan your name because that’s the only thing on my mind,” YN whispered, lips barely touching, and moaned as Harry pressed them together, kissing her with a moan escaping himself. She could feel his strong, long fingers wandering from the curve of her hips over her spine to wrap them around her neck, letting her soft strands glide between them before gently winding them around his fist. With already heavy breaths escaping them, Harry ended the kiss by pulling his head jerkingly back and exposed YN’s soft neck with all the tender spots he had learned to know like the back of his mind, pulling softly at her hair still wrapped around his fist and bent his head impatiently.

With a deep, satisfied moan escaping them both, the man littered the skin soft like silk with even softer kisses, nibbling at the one spot right under her chin, definitely leaving his first mark for the night on her, before moving his lips to the next spot he knew she loved. “Fuck,” YN whispered into the void of their suite as Harry bit her neck right underneath her ear, feeling how the wetness between her thighs pooled even more in her already soaked panties—just as always when Harry had his hands, and lips, on her. “Feeling good already, darlin’?” The woman felt his whispered question more than she heard it and nodded, desperation clear in that one, quick movement, her fingers tucking urgently at his strands, moving his mouth off her neck and back to her own, hungrily awaiting his lips. With the other hand, YN reached for his, still resting on her hips where his fingers pressed into the soft flesh and the fabric of one of his shirts to move it right where she needed him most.

His chuckle was deep and held the familiar sound of utter satisfaction, and it was almost embarrassing how her body reacted to that sound.

“Oh, love,” Harry mumbled into the next kiss, but YN interrupted him with her fingers gripping between his thighs, wrapping them around his hard member and giving him a few short strokes before she got way too agitated and pulled at the white towel resting lowly on his hips. She giggled at the sound of Harry’s groan as soon as she wrapped her hand around his hard cock again, a thumb teasingly nudging the leaking tip, while she could feel his own fingers moving between her thighs. He knew how to play her body like a symphony, so it wasn’t a surprise as one of his long fingers slid through her wet folds, parting them to gain better access to all the right spots before putting more and more pressure onto her aching clit and tickling whimper after whimper out of her mouth. “Yeah, I know, love. S’feels so good, doesn’t it? Already so warm and wet and ready for me, darlin’. What a fucking good girl you are for me.” She really tried to bite back on a few of her desperate-sounding moans, but Harry’s relentless finger, teasing her clit without pause, even pushed her to only hold onto his cock without moving an inch, preventing anything like that. “Nah, don’t do that, love,” he grinned and nudged YN to stare into his pretty eyes through heavy lids. “Wanna hear every single one of those sweet sounds you only make for me. You know what you’re doing to me with them, making me fucking feral for you, always. Wanna hear how good I make you feel, can you do that for me? Yeah?”

With another breathy whimper, YN nodded, head almost floating in the pleasure. Harry smiled at the short movement and kissed her deeply before moving his hands to cup her ass and lift her up as easily as a feather, carrying her to the soft mattress. He sat her back on the edge and peppered YN’s face with kisses while his hands swiftly picked up the hem of his shirt and threw the annoying piece of fabric onto the ground in his back, his eyes already wandering up and down over the body of this living artwork right in front of him. YN leaned on her elbows, breasts heaving with every labored intake of breath, thighs rubbing against each other to release the still building-up tension. Harry sank to his knees, eyes never leaving her pretty face, hands gripping her calves and spreading her legs, gaining access to where he wanted to be just as badly as she wanted him there. “Always so beautiful for me.” Words were mumbled against the skin of her left knee from which he worked himself upwards—kissing every inch of soft exposed skin until Harry was faced with the most soaked panties he had ever witnessed since their first night together in her small apartment in London, surrounded by too many candles to still be save.

YN’s scent enveloped and invaded his senses entirely, and Harry couldn't contain the deep in his chest rumbling moan slipping over his lips as he pressed featherlike kisses to the drenched fabric he adored on his woman in every shape and form possible. He could feel the flood of precum dripping over his tip and running down his thick, veiny shaft at the first taste of her. “Fucking soaked for me, darlin’. Someone is eager.” Another set of kisses followed these words, tickling whimper and moan after whimper and moan out of YN, and he couldn't wait for a second longer before he pulled down the wet fabric covering her delicious pussy he intended to devour whole.

His cock twitched at that thought.

Putting both her thighs over his broad shoulders, the singer hummed in deeply felt pleasure as the tip of his tongue started to move between her lips, slowly opening for him, inviting him, luring him in. And he was a weak man when it came to the woman in front of him, spread open and vulnerable, only for him to see her in that state.

Even after years, Harry didn’t take it for granted, and it fueled him with utter satisfaction and something more… primal.

“Fuck, you taste so good for me, darlin’. Always so fucking sweet,” he praised her with his tongue still between her opened lips, tasting her and drinking her in. He never got enough of her—not of her taste, not of the sounds she made, not of the way her body moved for him. “But it’s different today, isn’t it? Even sweeter. All ready for me and my cock, aren’t you? So eager to get fucked and filled up.” Those last words were muffled by her soaking pussy because Harry dove right into it, his need to make her feel even better too urgent, too all-consuming.

Tongue licking from the bottom of her lips up to that little, hidden pearl he may love more than YN did, or maybe not, according to the sounds she suddenly let out as his lips wrapped around it after teasing it for only a second with the tip of his eager tongue. His mouth sucked and tasted her, his tongue nudged and teased, his teeth nibbled and tortured her until the cock between his legs ached and begged for just a tiny form of release. But he wasn’t able to move, even if Harry wanted to, because YN’s thighs had wrapped around his head and held him right where he was. He wouldn’t have left until she had experienced her first of hopefully many orgasms tonight anyway. Harry was nothing but an eager pleaser for his girl, just as YN was for him, and the prospect of one of her otherworldly blowjobs with those delicious lips made him moan even louder around her pulsing clit, while two of his fingers slowly buried themselves into her leaking and twitching pussy.

“Tha’ so good, darlin’? Yeah? Letting all those people out there know who you belong to, hm? Haven’t even properly started taking care of tha’ sweet, little cunt of yours, love. Bu’ keep goin’, lovie. Keep being a good girl for me, and enjoy yourself on my fingers and tongue. Y’love tha’, don’t ya? C’mon, baby, let me hear how much y’love it.”

He could sit in front of her and talk dirty to her without even touching a single inch of her body, and YN knew she would cum on the spot. But this, this was so much better.

With a breathy moan, one of many, she pushed herself slightly back up on her arm, stretching a hand out for him, and buried her fingers into his soft locks. Her eyes were heavy from lust and the impending orgasm she already felt building up slowly, but still, she locked eyes with Harry, moaning again at the tasty sight in between her thighs.

Only mere hours earlier, he had sung for every single one of his fans, but now, he only belonged to her. It was an exhilarating thought and almost pushed her over the edge.

Wetting her lips with her tongue, YN sucked in a shaky breath as Harry sucked harder on her aching clit and made her feel every tuck of his mouth through her entire body. “Feels so good, H, so fucking good. You’re the only one w-who makes me feel this good, makes me so wet, turns me into a mess. Fucking hell.” She let her head fall back, eyes closing, and moved her hips against his mouth, increasing the pressure on her clit, pushing his perfect fingers deeper inside her. “’m only yours, H. Was ever only yours, from the first moment, from the first time you said my name. Oh god, don’t stop, don’t fucking stop. Right there, fuck.” Turning her into an incoherent mess was an easy task for him, YN knew that, and still, it always amazed her. She looked back down at him while moan after moan left her mouth, couldn’t rip her eyes off him, not even when he started to suck harder on her clit. He between her legs, eating her out, was nothing more than a piece of art. “Cum for me, love. C’mon, make me proud and cum for me,” Harry whispered between sucking and thrusting his fingers deeper and faster into her tight pussy, angling them just right to hit that spot over and over again. YN didn’t know where upside and down were as the orgasm that had built up ever since Harry had started his delicious torture finally snapped like a rubber band inside of her and turned her into a moaning mess while her ears still picked up on the words he spoke between softer licks and kisses and in between moaning his name for the world to hear. “That’s it, good girl. C’mon, just a bit more. Yeah, that’s it. Bloody hell, y’did so well for me. My perfect girl.”

After a few moments, YN could feel how her legs got softly opened, unwrapped by his loving hands, and felt the mattress dip right beside her as Harry climbed into bed, pressing his body right against hers as she still came down from the otherworldly bliss. Kisses were pressed against her shoulder and onto her face, fingers gently caressing over slightly damp skin, letting goosebumps return once more. Blinking, the blissed-out woman looked up at the man next to her and returned the smile with the same intensity. “Back with me, darlin’?” A nod followed the question before YN rolled on Harry and kissed him, letting her tongue glide over his full bottom lip while she felt his rock-hard cock pressed against her thigh, desperate for some attention. “’m not the only eager one, am I?” She grinned, and Harry chuckled but gasped for air as her fingertips slowly glided from the base of his shaft to the wet tip of his cock, feeling it twitch against her skin. YN kissed him once more and wrapped her hand around him, only barely able to reach around with her fingers, and hummed, satisfied, at the deep moan Harry let out into the kiss. “Wanna make you feel good, baby,” she whispered between soft pecks of their lips, nearly whimpering at the thought of pleasing him. “Wanna make you feel so fucking good. Is that okay?”

One of his hands nestled into the curve of her neck to press a hard kiss to her lips, swallowing the moan escaping him again. “Please, fuck, yes, whatever you want, love.” Another small grin stretched over YN’s face, covering his chin and neck in tender kisses before moving lower and lower, working her way over the expanse of his chest, tucking at one of his nipples with her teeth and giggled as Harry arched his back a bit. She felt his hand clench and unclench, still resting on her neck, his thumb softly stroking over her skin. “You’re so pretty, love,” YN mumbled against the skin of his stomach, following the mountains and valleys of his abs with the tip of her tongue, alternating between licks and kisses. “You’re the most handsome and loving man this earth has ever seen, and I’m the lucky one to call you mine,” she continued, kissing his left hipbone before moving to the right, but leaving out the angry red tip of his cock stretching its way towards her. “I’m the luckiest woman on this planet, y’know tha’? Only because you chose me over all the others. Never gonna take that for granted, my love. I’ll cherish you forever and ever.”

Gently, she bit into the skin of his pelvis but couldn’t move further because suddenly, Harry pulled her up as he sat up, legs spread deliciously wide, and kissed her deeply, his tongue invading her mouth and conquering every part of it. Fingers clung to one another, burrowing and holding, caressing and gripping. “Bloody hell, I love you so much,” Harry breathlessly whispered, making YN smile softly. “Just as much as I love you,” she returned with another tender kiss. “Can I continue now, though? I finally wanna taste you. Wanted tha’ since I saw you in the dressing room in those tight jeans. You have such a pretty ass, baby. Wanted to bite it and push my hand in the back pocket, so everyone could’ve seen that I’m the only one allowed to touch you like that.” YN meant every single word, not only because Harry always looked like the tastiest snack on earth but also because she expressed her love primarily through acts of physical affection. Gladly, Harry was just the same.

“‘Been checking me out, baby?” Harry grinned, but the grin soon disappeared as his mouth parted in utter bliss. Her hand got a tighter grip around his cock, his skin burning against hers, and while she felt that one thick vein pulsing heavily against her palm, YN moved back to one of her favorite spots—right between his legs, her eyes never leaving his.

She held his gaze captive like a goddess at her first arrival on earth, captivating every living creature. Her eyes alone made him moan softly, his hand wandering back to her, cupping her cheek. Harry didn’t even let his head fall back into his neck as her lips touched his aching cock, even though he felt the urge to revel in that feeling—but watching YN was much better and almost made him cum on the spot.

He watched how her lips pressed open-mouthed kisses from his heavy balls over the entirety of the underside of his shaft, feeling her tongue play with the prominent vein running alongside it, observing her tongue as it got more and more visible the closer she got to his leaking tip. Harry couldn’t contain a single moan leaving his mouth, his thumb started to caress the skin over her cheekbone lovingly, his lips parted and his breath hitching in his throat at the moment of her kitten-licking the underside of his sensitive mushroom tip. Groaning, Harry let his head hang down and took a deep breath in but kept watching YN, entirely mesmerized by the view in front of him. She started gently sucking on him, and he moaned just as much as she did as he felt the vibration of her sounds echoing through his cock and his entire body, teasing and working him up even more. His hips jerked upwards, and Harry felt as if he would lose his mind with more of his cock covered by her warm mouth and the pressure of her perfect lips wrapped around his member, pushing him to whimper quietly.

“YNN…,” he couldn’t stop from moaning her name in that desperate tone. Instantly, he felt her sucking stop and opened his closed eyes, looking down at her again, locking gazes with her. Harry let the pad of his thumb stroke over her cheek and chin again. “Don’t tease me, don’t stop, don’t torture me. Barely can stop myself from jus’ taking you, l-love.” He wasn’t able to finish his sentence before YN started sucking again, harder and deeper this time, swallowing almost every inch of his impressive length, her stroking hand taking care of the few inches she couldn’t quite fit. But it didn’t matter because Harry reveled in the warm and wet, literally perfect feeling of her sucking mouth, the alternating pressure of her lips when she moved up and down his thick, demanding cock, the swirl of her perfect little tongue around his messy head, leaking precum all over it. Her moans gave him the rest every time she tasted the salty drops trickling out of his slit to which she tended special care, always letting her tongue kitten-lick it, letting her lips close around it to suck the living daylights out of him. Harry was a moaning mess underneath her magic mouth, thrusting his pelvis up into her mouth and apologizing with deep, rumbling but breathy whispers when he made her gag around his cock by mere impatience and thoughtlessness.

Only a few more of her sucks was he able to endure before Harry pushed his hand into her neck anew and roughly pulled her with a deep “Bloody hell, woman” up, straight to his lips. They crashed against each other, and Harry was fast to grab her soft hips with both hands, pulling her closer to him and only stopped when he finally felt her peaking nipples pressed against his chest and her dripping pussy hovering over his cock, already teasing the tip with those perfect wet lips, hugging him.

“You want that, love? You wanna get filled up by me? Filled up by my cock and my thick cum? Wanna get all full and round with my babies, pretty girl? Wanna finally make me a daddy?” His voice sent shivers down her spine, deep and husky with all the lust and feral need he felt, and embarrassingly, YN felt how her pussy dripped down onto his mushroom tip, soaking him with her own need. All she could do was nod quickly and jerkingly, already losing the ability to move her body. But Harry couldn’t leave it at that. YN felt how he gently took her chin between his fingers and forced her to look at him, moving their foreheads apart. “C’mon, love. I know you can be my good girl.” She felt how a soft whimper left her lips and wanted to hide her face at his neck for being so needy and whiny, but instead, she cupped Harry’s face with both hands and moved her hips slowly to tease his cock right underneath her. “Need you to fill me up. Need you to fuck me full of your cum, so I can carry your pretty babies, Harry. Want to make you a dad, wan’to have all your babies, fuck, want to spend the rest of my life with you, love.” YN felt as if she needed to cry in a few seconds with all the emotions bubbling up inside her, but Harry pulled her flush against his chest again, forcing their lips to crash against each other, and entered with one quick thrust into her, stretching her so good and deliciously that she didn’t want to hold back the screaming moan.

The opened windows weren’t on their mind any longer.

His moan in her ears was better than every song he could ever write for her. How he let his head fall backward with closed eyes and parted lips was more beautiful than any sculpture of the old masters combined.

She couldn’t get enough of him and the noises he made because of her, so she started to move on top of him, both arms tightly wrapped around his shoulders and neck now, letting her hips circle his cock, stretching herself further and further with every deeper hitting thrust. Harry’s hands wandered over her body and grabbed her hips again, supporting her thrusting movements, pulling her even further down until he was buried with every inch inside her warm, him tightly gripping pussy. “Tha’s it, love. Fuck, you feel incredible. Gosh, so fucking good. So tight and warm around me. Didn’t want me to leave that tight cunt again, don’t you? Holding onto me like a damn vice, bloody fucking hell.”

With that, Harry switched their position as easily as getting up from a chair, pressing YN down into the mattress, and wrapping her legs around his waist again. Her hands rested on his abs while he started to fuck into her—every thrust grew bolder and harder before he slowed down again to let his hips circle and his pelvis rub against her clit, letting YN arch her back against his body. “I love you, love you so much, H. More than anything,” she almost sobbed through the fog of pleasure, hands gliding over his chest and clasped them behind his neck, her fingers tangling into his soft locks and pulling him down to her, kissing him with every ounce of love she held for him. “I know, darlin’. God, you’re the best thing in my life, y’know tha’, right? The best fucking thing. Making my days always so bright and joyful, letting me feel like floating on a freaking cloud, baby. Can’t wait to call you my wife, the mother of my children. Oh god, you’re everything.” YN moaned at his lips as he stilled, deep inside her, feeling his cock twitch once, twice, before he moved again, so much slower this time.

His hand on her neck and his thumb caressing her jawline made her open her eyes again, moaning and whimpering softly as he hit that spot perfectly, over and over again. And with that came another building-up orgasm, making her clench around his throbbing, thrusting cock, pushing her to wrap her legs tighter around his hips, her fingers burying themselves deeper into Harry’s soft strands, tucking gently at them and making him choke on another moan. He grunted above her, eyes never leaving hers or her face, always staring down at her, taking her in. With every kiss, they drank each other in before Harry turned his attention to her breasts, still fucking her slowly into the mattress, his lips gently wrapped around her right nipple and started to suck and softly bite on it. “They’ll be so full, m’love,” Harry whisper-moaned between kisses. “So full after I’ve cum deep inside and bred you, lovie. Can’t fucking wait for it.”

With every word leaving his mouth, every syllable whispered against her skin, YN grew wetter and wetter, arching in his direction, pressing her hips into his, following his thrusts. “I’ll keep you pregnant, darlin’ because I already know I’ll love every second of it. Will worship you even more than I already do, praising the ground you’re walking on, never letting you out of my sight because I’ll be fucking obsessed with you. You’ve already bewitched me, love, how is this even possible, fuck.” YN had to giggle between a whimper and a moan, making Harry chuckle against her right breast as well before he came back up and kissed her longingly, nudging her lips apart with his eager tongue, teasing hers, moaned into her mouth as he buried his cock as deeply as possible in her clenching and twitching pussy.

A hand wandered from her neck over her breasts, down over her stomach, and right between them. Fingers started teasing, gently circling her clit, and letting YN throw her head back into the pillows, gasping for air as the impending orgasm came closer and closer. “I want you to cum for me again, darlin’. Want you to cum for me so I can fill your tight little cunt up with my thick cum. Let me breed you, love. Let me make you a pretty mommy. C’mon, lovie, c‘mon. I know you want it. Y’want it just as badly as I do.” Harry didn’t let go of her and continued to fuck into her, never letting go of her clit, always teasing more out of it. “Oh, shit,” YN whimpered, one hand gripping the pillow next to her while she pressed the other onto her mouth, screwed her eyes shut, and let her head fall back once more. It only lasted for a few seconds because she needed to see him, needed to see his face when he’d finally released inside her, realizing that they might have made a baby together.

“Please, Harry. Fuck. Please,” she whimpered against his lips after he had bent down to her again and pressed loving kisses to them, begging him for everything she wanted. “Use your… fuck… use your words, baby,” he moaned above her, steadying himself with a hand right next to her face, using the perfect angle to hit as deeply as physically possible. “Please—oh god—cum inside me, Harry. Need you to cum inside me and fill me with your cum, need t-to carry your babies. ‘s all I ever wanted.” YN could feel how his thrusts became harder and more uncoordinated with every passing moment after her whimpered pleads, how his finger moved a bit harder and faster on her slightly overworked clit, pushing her to feel the orgasm rolling towards her like a breaking wave. “Good girl. My good, pretty girl,” Harry breathlessly mumbled against the corner of her mouth, their foreheads touching and their eyes locked into one another. “Need you to cum for me, darlin’. I can barely hold it any longer. Wanna cum deep inside you, but I need you to cum first, okay, love?”

Only mere heartbeats later, YN felt her second orgasm approaching and screamed his name for everyone to hear, begging him to keep going, to stop, to get her pregnant, she wasn’t sure. She only remembered the expression on his face as her cunt clenched around him, gripped onto his twitching cock, and as he filled her with a deep, almost feral-sounding moan and kissed her like a man possessed.

***

“There you go, love.” Harry’s voice and tender touches pulled YN back out of her trance after orgasm number five. He knelt between her legs, a warm, wet washcloth in hand, and gently cleaned the remnants of their third—and last—round off her thighs. He pressed a kiss to her knee after he had made sure that nothing sticky was left but got a hold of her left hand where he had put his ring. “I know you’re probably worn out”—YN raised a brow at that and tickled a soft laugh out of him—“but I think it would be better if you’d come with me to the bathroom. Just a quick wash under the shower, nothing long, maybe a quick go to the loo. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?”

Sighing, YN let Harry pull her up to her feet with both hands and leaned tiredly into his still-naked side. “Bu’ only because you’re pretty and because I love you,” she mumbled and closed her eyes at the feeling of one of his forehead kisses she always craved. “Sure thing, darlin’. Thank you.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he led her into the bathroom and prepared the shower while she indeed used the toilet before joining him under the refreshing stream of water. With Harry in her back, YN felt his hands sneaking around her body and resting them on her lower stomach, a thumb gently caressing the wet skin there. With a soft smile, she covered them with her own before intertwining their fingers, and she accepted the many kisses pressed onto her shoulder, up her neck, and to her cheek. “‘Think we made a baby today?” Even though he tried to ask it casually, as if it wasn’t something he craved and wanted somewhere deep in his heart, YN knew him better and heard the anxiety creeping up in his voice.

Turning around in his arms, she cupped his face and gently shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t know, love. Maybe. Maybe no’. It won't be the end of the world if I get my period next month. Would I be disappointed? Hell, definitely. Bu’ that’s part of the process. You know how long Emma and Jean had to try for a baby.” It still pained her to think about the long and painful journey of one of her best friends. And Harry knew that, so he only nodded and kissed YN’s forehead again. “We will get there, eventually. Someday, my period will be late, and we will take a test, and it will be positive. We just have to wait and be patient and leave that nasty bitch duo named anxiety and stress out in the rain. Okay?” Again, Harry nodded at that, a deep sigh leaving his body and his tense shoulders slowly relaxing. “Okay,” he whispered in agreement and kissed his woman tenderly, which soon turned into an unexpected new last round under the warm water of the shower.

***

Nervousness crept up on her as she continued to stare at the several at-home pregnancy tests she had made in the last three hours. It had been a struggle throughout because the instructions had been all in Japanese, and she most definitely didn’t speak that language. Even Google translator had been a constant pain in the ass, leaving her metaphorically standing in the rain. At least Jeff had been so kind and had helped her find someone in the team who could speak Japanese and who swore an oath to keep silent until YN could be sure about it.

“It’s too good to be true.”

That’s the sentence she mumbled to herself ever since realizing that her period had been late—incredibly so. And that’s usually not her thing, so the hope of a fucking miracle had spread its roots inside her and didn’t let go. In order to be alone, she even lied to Harry to get some uninterrupted hours to herself while he performed another wonderful show and was adored by all his fans. She knew it was stupid to lie to him instead of just coming clean about her suspicion, but… she just couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to get his hopes up, only to see them crushed when the tests all came back negative. It was enough that her hopes would get destroyed in a matter of seconds.

The alarm of the timer on her phone scared her almost to death, and after taking a deep breath to steady her shaking hands, YN stretched them out towards the lid of the toilet in front of which she sat crossed-leg. She hadn’t moved since she had started taking them one after the other, and not a single one was turned over.

“You bloody headless chicken. Do it.”

And with that last bit of self-esteem she somehow owned, YN started to turn them all over, one after the other, without taking a closer look at the several displays. Only after another deep breath, to keep the nauseous feeling in check, did she glance from one test to the other, remembering what one of the assistant stylists had told her about the different result displays.

In the first few seconds, shock settled in her body, freezing her on that stupid spot on the bathroom floor. Her heartbeat picked up, and she heard every single beat in her ears, the blood rushing through her veins. Instinctively, a hand had made its way to her stomach, covered by one of Harry’s Pleasing hoodies he had worn during their shared breakfast and which smelled like him. It had kept her sane and safe and comforted in the past hours, filled with anxiety and stupid hopes.

The sound of an opening door brought life back into YN, and with a scream, she jumped up, grabbed a handful of tests, and hurried over into the suite. Harry was already on his way towards the bathroom after he had heard the sound, worry on his face, and they almost collided in the middle of the room, his hands the only thing that kept her from tumbling to the ground.

“What’s wrong, love? You still feeling sick? Has it gotten worse? I should’ve taken you to the doctor’s this morning already instead of listening to you and keeping you alone here, fuck—“ But he stopped himself as YN held up several white-pinkish and white-bluish sticks, seeing her teary eyes, taking in her flushed cheeks. So, he scanned them but didn’t understand a single word written on them, furrowing his brows. His head only slowly caught up to it, and with a whispered, unbelieving No, he cupped her cheeks with both hands, staring into her wide eyes with a similar expression.

“Is this real? Is this really happening? Does it mean what I think it does?” He got several nods as answers, and still, he couldn’t believe this luck, this bliss.

He had been anxious all day long, first because YN had told him she didn’t feel quite well and would sit out tonight’s show and then because he had taken a glance into the cycle tracker, realizing that she hadn’t had entered her first day of period almost a week ago. Of course, he had gotten his hopes up, especially after Jeff had been weird all night long, and now, his hopes wouldn’t be crushed? It took a while to get this knowledge into his brain, a bit too long for YN’s liking, because she started fidgeting on the spot.

“I’m sorry if this isn’t how you thought it would be, and maybe you now think it’s way too early and that we should’ve waited, or that I should have made a big announcement thing out of it or—“

YN didn’t end her anxious rambling because Harry gripped her waist and lifted her off the ground, pressing her against him. Out of surprise, she let the pregnancy tests tumble down onto the hotel room floor and wrapped both arms around his neck, feeling how the happy tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. Harry grinned widely, tears of his own in his eyes, and spun them around, laughing and crying, breathless from excitement and utter joy. “We’re gonna be parents!” He shouted it through the suite, the people walking past the door probably hearing every single word, and YN couldn’t contain the laugh bubbling out of her any longer.

Cradling her face in both his hands after he had put her back down, Harry stared into her eyes with astonishment and mild wonder. “We will really be parents,” he whispered and covered her face in kisses. “Thank you. Thank you so much. You’re incredible, my love. I love you so much,” he continued and made YN cry even more—from happiness and joy. “It’s only possible because of you, H. Because you chose me and decided to spend the rest of your life with me and make me the bloody happiest woman on earth.” With a smile, she wiped off the tears off her cheeks, and Harry erased the remnants with his tenderly stroking thumb. “We will raise wonderful children because they’ll have you as their dad, H, and I can’t wait for it.” He smiled down at her and pecked the tip of her nose. “Don’t forget yourself, darlin’. You’re this incredibly strong woman, always fighting for what’s right. Our children won’t have anything to fear.” Softly, he nudged her chin lovingly and kissed her smiling lips before suddenly dropping down to his knees and getting a hold of YN’s hips.

She watched him intently, one hand covering one of his on her hip and the other slowly and tenderly running through his silky locks. But then, her hand stilled in its tracks as Harry bent forward to press slow kisses all over her lower abdomen and took his time with it. “Hey there, little baby,” he mumbled against the fabric of the hoodie, continuing to kiss YN’s stomach. “It’s your dad, but you can call me whatever you want. Your mom and I are incredibly thankful that you’re with us now, and we’ll love you to the moon and back. Just… please, be gentle to your mommy, can you promise me tha’? She’s this wonderful and strong woman, and I know that she’ll handle anything like a champ, but I don’t want her to suffer too much. Can we agree on tha’, sunshine? Yeah? Perfect. Love you so much.” That little monologue was followed by another kiss, leaving YN speechless and stunned, and she only could let the tears spill out of her eyes, watching him as Harry stood up again. “You’re too good for this world, H,” she whispered between two sobs and let him envelop her with his body, feeling its warmth seeping into her, calming her. “Nah. ‘m just that dude who is entirely whipped for his soon-to-be wife who just gifted him the best present of a lifetime,” he grinned down at her and let her wrap both arms tightly around his waist. “Gosh, don’t remind me of the hassle of finding you good enough birthday gifts now.”

A chuckle left them both before YN looked up at Harry as he hummed. “Wanna take a bath together? I could use some time with that gorgeous woman who’s obviously stupid enough to marry me.” Giggling, the woman nodded. “The stupid woman would love that, but we have to tidy up some… stuff first.” Following Harry with slower steps, YN watched him as he took in the chaos still dominating the bathroom floor, with several ripped-open test boxes and instructions lying all over the place. He turned and cocked a brow in question. “How many of these did you do, woman?” Shrugging, YN stepped closer and picked up the first few boxes to throw them away. “About seventeen? I’m not sure anymore because I think I wasn’t entirely there. With my head, I mean. I may have spiraled a bit while I sat here and drank one bottle of water after the other.” She heard him laugh softly under his breath before getting a hold of the paper and cardboard in her hand and dumping them back onto the floor. “Silly woman.” Kissing her, he turned the faucet of the bathtub open and started to pull the hoodie over YN’s head. “Forget about these. I’ll do that later. Now, I want to have a nice bath with my baby momma.”

***

The end sucks (probably like the entire rest), but here it is! I hope y’all liked it at least a bit, and as usual: Reblogs, comments, and likes are much appreciated

[finchly-tintinnabulation]

- Scout's Honor - Part 3

Original Ultramarine (Aristaeus) x GN!Reader

<<Prev = Next>>

Tags: Aristaeus being a protective Doberman, meeting the family (squad mates), reader facing the reality of having an extremely clingy space marine

Indulging in the absolute tomfuckery that would come with being bonded, apologies to @daily-shenanigans784 for the secondhand embarrassment of beta reading it. Have fun meeting Pallas and Diomedes, you will definitely be seeing them again lol

The Chorus: @thisuserislilsilly

- - -

You frowned, crouching to survey the new equipment delivered to Aristaeus’s— and now your— room. It was easy to move in as you only had a few belongings in the serf barracks, and a baseline size mattress fit tidily under the Astartes’s large metal bunk; it was cozy but you had a suspicion that your nights would be spent sharing the bed anyway.

In anticipation of joining Aristaeus in training and battle, you had also received gear. A few sets of fatigues, light body armor painted in Ultramarine blue, helmet, supply bag, and a medicae kit. Of particular interest was your lasgun. All residents of the fortress monastery were required to know how to defend it, and the armory was stocked for such a situation, yet this rifle was yours alone. The implications made you feel oddly light-headed.

The problem was seeing what your otherwise fully outfitted scout had been equipped with to deal with you. Eyeing the harness and straps and strategically placed pouches that were to replace Aristaeus’s backpack, there wasn’t much doubt of its function.

“This feels ridiculous. I’m really going to be strapped to your back like a papoose?” There were stirrups attached to the sides of the pack for you to climb in and out on your own, but that didn’t change the fact it looked like a giant baby carrier. “I need my hands free for combat, and sitting on my shoulders would make us a bigger target. Plus, you can watch my back.” Aristaeus looked up from cleaning his long-range bolter, having the audacity to look puzzled by your question. Of course he saw it only in terms of efficiency, and not so much your dignity. “Can’t I get, like… some handholds to hang on for myself?” Rocking back on your heels you sat heavily on the floor, glaring at the offending piece of equipment. “You do not have the stamina.” He stated, and you sighed. You probably weren’t going to get anywhere arguing logistics with an Ultramarine, so you turned to organizing your new things alongside the old, packing them into a trunk provided for you. With that taken care of, your priorities shifted to your stomach, since finding attire in your measurements meant forgoing breakfast.

Aristaeus shifted as you stood up, but you held out your hands to motion for him to stay seated, to which he seemed to pout. “Just going to the kitchens, I’ll be right back big guy.” 

Making your way to the kitchen was easy enough, especially when you had gotten in the habit of snacking on whatever food scraps were left over between meals. This time, however, you felt eyes on you. Fellow serfs stilled in their work to stare as if boring holes in your back and through the darkening bruises on your neck. 

The information you had gathered would indicate this was far from the first occurrence of a bond, but the last one had been a long time ago. That battle-brother and his mate had likely gone off to another company, in the distant memory of the residents of the fortress-monastery. It was a mistake they worked to avoid, a potential stumbling block to the noble Astartes, and that potential for disgrace was now focused solely upon you.

Holding your head high, you did your best to ignore it. It wasn’t as if you had made many allies amongst them in your few months, a newcomer to a position that was largely hereditary to the people of Macragge. In long strides you made your way to the alcove that disguised the scullery entrance without incident, before your path forward was blocked.

“Excuse me.” You politely stepped sideways to try and slip past the scullery worker, but she stuck out her arm to prevent your passage, inspecting you derisively. 

“Nobody believed me, you know. That a Drukhari toy would be unsuitable for the station of a chapter serf.” She muttered quietly and planted a hand on the doorframe, leaning in to insult your ears only as your blood simmered. “It makes sense that one who had spent such time outside the light of the Emperor would become a temptation.”

“I don’t know you.” Gritting your teeth, you tucked a hand in the pocket of your robe, trying to appear non-threatening. “Hypocrisy reflects poorly on you, the God-Emperor disapproves of gossip amongst his flock.”

“It isn’t gossip to see you waltzing around so loosely, without any regard for your place.” Scoffing, her eyes lingered on your neck.

“Move. I’m hungry.” You rested a hand on her forearm, hoping to escape a confrontation with a warning even as your emotions boiled. Unfortunately, you were only rewarded with a sneer as she snatched at your wrist.

“Careful, you’d—” Her scorn was interrupted by a bellowing growl as Aristaeus suddenly poked his head into the alcove, snarling in her face as he crowded into the small space, making her blanch an ashen shade of white. The sound wracked through your body, the subvocal reverberations of it sparking an instinctual fear despite the small relief the scout’s presence provided. Again, how could someone so big be so silent?

Easily tugging your arm out of the other serf’s slackened grip, you grumbled as you retreated from her and attempted to push the agitated scout away from the kitchen. This was quickly becoming a scene. “I told you I’d be right back.”

“You smelled stressed.” He grumbled, glare still fixed upon the frozen woman, but moving with your touch. There was no way you could physically move him, so it was some relief that he seemed to regard how you felt. For the time being you brushed aside the fact he could apparently smell you like a bloodhound from rooms away.

“I’m in a rush to get something to eat, you can wait a minute.” It was true, your hunger was making you agitated, but his presence was not helping either. Having him accompany you into the kitchen would only lead to more eyes, more inconvenience for you both.

“Eat with me instead.” Finally tearing his gaze away from the other serf, allowing her to flee back into the kitchen, his expression softened as he bent down to take your hands. “There is also the matter of meeting my squadron today, it would be convenient… please?”

Honey gold eyes pleaded with you, tipping his head expectantly. Aristaeus reminded you again of a dog, a towering sharp edged sentinel, guarding you and chasing off any perceived threat… who looked at you with a face like a sad baby seal. You sighed, mentally noting another downside of having an Astartes attached at the hip. It was unlikely for you to get out of this, especially with him looking at you like that. “...Fine.”

Holding your hand, you allowed Aristaeus to lead you away from the scullery, and much to your dismay he walked you to the 10th company’s mess hall. Many of the rows of tables along the walls were already filled with neophytes, but just as many Astartes were lined up for bowls of amino porridge from the Master of the Refectorium. The sight of the crush of enormous bodies made you nervous, even as Aristaeus positioned you in front of him, shoulders hunched to shield you as you made your way to the more orderly line for food.

If you got any pointed looks from the Master of the Refectorium, you didn’t see it, ignoring him in favor of walking in front of Aristaeus and reassuring your stomach it’d soon be taken care of. You were so focused on avoiding your surroundings, you jumped a bit at a tap on your shoulder, turning to your scout as he bent down to hand you a very Astartes-sized bowl and gestured to follow him to a table.

“Based on your sweet tooth, I didn’t expect your mate to look so sour, Ari!” A cheerful looking blonde scout called out at your approach, eliciting a growl from Aristaeus as he shuffled around you to sit across from him and the only other Astartes at the table, a brunette who appeared to be trying very hard not to smile. You climbed into the last open seat; once again, far too big for the comfort of a baseline.

“Refer to me appropriately, Brother Pallas.” Pulling out a combat knife the size of your forearm, Aristaeus pointed it at the blonde— Pallas— in warning, picking up a fruit he had grabbed with his lunch and beginning to cut it into slices. “There will be no further comments on my bond, understood?”

“Of course.” The brunette nodded solemnly, lips pursed against a grin as he reached across the table to offer you a hand. “Brother Diomedes. Charmed.” Aristaeus sullenly swatted him away before you could accept the handshake, which you raised an eyebrow at. 

“Relax, there’s no harm done.” You said soothingly. You couldn’t help but be amused, despite your chagrin at his protectiveness. It felt like you were being herded. “Besides, Ari is a cute nickname.”

You expected a retort at daring to call anything about an Adeptus Astartes ‘cute’, but the scout’s shoulders slumped as he scooped a helping of juicy yellow fruit into your bowl, looking a bit flushed.

“What!? Don’t tell me they get to call you Ari. Hey.” Pallas frowned, planting his hands on the table, glancing between you and Aristaeus with open wonder on his face.

“...It is preferable over lord angel.” He grumbled, tearing open a packet of triglyceride gel with unnecessary force and squeezing it into your food. You had to bite your lip as your face cracked into a grin at the absurd realization he was preparing your lunch for you.

“Noted, so long as I don’t get reprimanded for it.” Maneuvering a slice of fruit onto the overly large spoon, you made a show of biting into the juicy flesh, reveling in its sweetness. “Thank you, Ari.”

“Y’welcome.” Aristaeus bent his head over his bowl, hastily shoveling down his porridge, tanned face looking very pink.

The tiniest wheeze of laughter escaped Diomedes as he turned his attention to you, and you followed your bond’s lead to satisfy your hunger with mouthfuls of sweetened gruel. “Sergeant Telion provided the squadron with nesting materials, but Pallas and I have decided you are likely to need them the most.”

“Hm?” Nesting? You intoned questioningly, as talking with your mouth full to the Astartes seemed impolite.

“I suspected you had little need for extra articles of fabric, so you’d best get started rubbing your lovely scent over our spares.” Eyes widening in confusion, you heard Aristaeus make a choking noise beside you as Diomedes smiled with bemusement. “What’s that look for? He’s already marked you.” 

[reorientation]

Hello, it's grindr Alice again. It felt so embarrassing, having to say repeatedly that I've got a fresh load in a cunt, a female fertile cunt that's right there between my legs. After having to say I'm a female right there at the counter (yes, there were other people in there listening to us) they took me to a consultation room and asked again if it's for me, and if I know that this pill is for women... I had to confirm that yes, I know, I have all the parts and really really need it... I had to tell them that I was a cumdump just a few hours earlier because they asked how long ago I had sex. I had to write down 'female' on the form they gave me.

Also ironically the guy didn't even misgender me on purpose or anything, because I wasn't brave enough to say that I'm into that on grindr, I guess he just decided that calling me 'a female' is so obvious and natural becasue that's what I am regardless of my 'identity'...

My identity might indeed be just a needy little cunt. She's so desperate and leaking 24/7 - everyone said I'll get less wet on T, but it never happened, I have a constant flooding in my boxers, sometimes I'm even waking up with them completely soaked.

The guy I said I might get fucked by unfortunately bailed. He said he could take me raw in a park nearby, and I made my way there, and waited in the dark, and he never came. I edged for like 4 hours before that and I was so disappointed. I wish there was an app better than grindr, one where I could just indicate my location and the fact that my pussy is available for breeding and people could freely take advantage of that. I need to get railed properly, hard and rough and deep, without all the small talks and wasting time...

Grindr Alice here again: a guy messaged me on grindr while I edged browsing through tumblr. Got me wet. He said he could come and fuck me, that he's half an hour from me but he's willing to drive to fuck my pussy in a park. I said yes... And he actually drove here. We went to a park. He told me to lie down on my back. He fingerbanged me SO HARD and slapped my clit and teased it for what seemed like ages, I was so sensitive and I was doing my best not to moan too loud becasue I was so scared someone would come and see me, lying like that on the grass, spreading my legs for a stranger...

Like, he kept his trousers on but took mine so I was literally just in a t-shirt and my shoes, my cunt leaking on the grass and all over his fingers.

At some point he called me 'a good girl'... Then he corrected himself and said 'good boy' but I heard that 'good girl' and gods it made me gush even harder, it's so hot - he drove to fuck my pussy like a woman's pussy. To finger me, to touch my clit - he commented that it's big but he still called it my clit...

And he came in me. I spread my legs and let a stranger cum inside my cunt in the park. And then walked 10 minutes back home while his cum was dripping into my boxers.

I didn't cum, I felt so good and close, but I can't cum if I'm not the one touching myself I guess... but I loved it. I love it when I don't even cum, just like a toy. Well my grindr name is 'Fleshlight' so that's saying something I guess.

Now I'm touching myself, edging, to the memories of this fuck. Gods. I feel like such a slut. He called me that, and more, while he was fucking me. And he said it's the best pussy he fucked in the past 10 years right after he filled me full of his baby-making seed.

Somehow I'm still scared my implant is gonna fail me... but I can't stop myself from doing this again and again...

(Previously)

It's funny, Alice. You said at the very beginning of your first ask that after five years on T and top surgery, you "pass really well"... but none of that really seems to matter once you've offered a man your cunt, does it? To them, you're "female" or "a good girl" with an oversized clit. It's not indulging your kink, because you haven't admitted that to them - it's just the obvious way that they see you. It's natural. It's a fact.

And once you let that second man come inside of you, it became an urgent fact, didn't it? You had to go and tell all those people that you were a fertile female with a fresh load of cum in your womb. You had to do all that just to escape the consequences of being a needy, fertile little bitch.

And you may have quelled that fertility for now... but there's no escaping the rest of that new identity. God, how long has it even been since you saw a cock in real life for the first time - a few weeks? And you're getting fucked bare by a stranger in a public park, like a bitch in heat. You've barely found out what men's cocks feel like, but you know now that you were made to serve them.

You're a good little whore already, Alice. But I'm looking forward to the day that you realize that getting used bare while using an implant isn't enough for you. I'm looking forward to the day that you lift your ass in the air for a real man to fuck a baby into you.

[hiemaldesirae]

i have less than 24 hours left before i have to go through one of the most stressful days of my life so. heres a list of my fav radiostatic fic recs in no particular order

clarification: by radiostatic i mean fics where vox is 100% not the dom in the relationship. most of these dont contain explicit sex though, and im not recommending any straight porn fics here because you can easily find those with a click and search through the bottom vox tag lmao

most of these fics are unfinished, so be warned that i will not take accountability if you get attached to these without them being finished properly. in fact ill just laugh at you because then we'll be suffering together

now, that aside- starting off strong with some of the more popular fics:

RHTVS / Radio Healed the Video Star by Aspiring_Forest_Witch

notes: LONG fucking fic. like this guys almost 700k words long fic. one of the best things ive ever read in my life though and it has a plotline thats frankly more engaging than the actual showing of hazbin on amazon. so. you know. if you have the time to read it Please do you wont regret it

Unraveling Emotions by Xaelei

notes: one of my favourite fics ever on god. started my brainrot for dad!husk, portrays one of the most scrumptious radiostatic dynamics and is generally so very well written that i might end up trying to recreate one of the scenes in comic form. genuinely in love with this fic and im so glad i can say i was the first comment on this fic because my God its such a treat to see new chapters drop for this. unfortunately i havent had the time to write out a detailed comment as of now but if someone wants to let the author know that im still in love with their fic and will continue supporting it until i drop dead go ahead for me

Safe with Me by rillyrillo

notes: the prequel and main fic of this series is human radiostatic, though the sequel is set in hell. it comes with gorgeous gorgeous art and frankly one of the most exhilirating endings ive ever had the pleasure of witnessing play out. i recommend you guys check out their other fics too, the art continues in them + their radiostatic is written wonderfully across all universes!

A Month of Rut by Vylad

notes: this fic is very self indulgent to me. i love the way radiostatic is written in this one because theyre very soft and sweet, but others may not prefer it if theyre looking for freak4freak radiostatic. if you just want something to indulge in and relax with at the end of a heavy day though this is my #1 rec. i read this sometimes when i find myself crying at night lmao

Down, Up, and Back Down by CowboyEnthusiast

notes: made me sob like a baby. 10/10 no notes whatsoever read it for yourself because you WILL not regret it. i genuinely am always at a loss for words whenever i reread this because it is among the most gutwrenching but beautiful and poetic works that ive ever read and i think it deserves some recognition

Mind the Gap by ZLynn

notes: again, to reiterate, i do very much dislike the abusive!staticmoth portrayal i see in a lot of fics. but in this one... it's written so perfectly, i can definitely see it actually happening. i enjoy the way that val does still seem to care about vox, albeit in his own twisted way that eventually breaks and fractures their love and trust, and its just. Ugh. So fucking good

+ with the less popular but still wonderful depictions of radiostatic that i love to indulge in:

i'll give you a show (cause it helps fill the seats) by dead_and_dreaming

notes: absolutely shameless plug from me for my dear mk's work because i cant stop thinking about the way that she's portrayed al here. its actually insane how fucked up that stupid little deer is and i just. i really fucking love the way that their alastor is written, it's genuinely probably my Number One depiction of alastor ever. i demand more of this stupid little freak RIGHT NOW!!!!

Any of the fics by Rachello344 in the Hazbin Hotel Fandom Tag on their profile

notes: so remember when i told you guys i wouldnt be linking straight porn. looks away... okay in my defense though i read the smut for the characterization and their unique dynamics. its sooo interesting to see how their radiostatic is explored here and im honestly refreshed by the depiction of their relationship. im here for it !!!

The Read 'Em and Weep Series by TooManyPseudonyms

notes: so from what i was able to piece together (everything flies over my head when im reading, forgive me for my low media literacy) this is an au set before the hotel where (in the first work) al and vox are in a qpr relationship. in the second work this evolves into a romantic relationship, and the exploration of their dynamic through this is just... Yeah. please read it its 100% worth your time and so underrated it hurts my heart

Uneasy by Saezs

notes: this fic is one of the first radiostatic fics i read (the others being RHTVS and... i think i tried the 666 series, but it didnt appeal to me lol) and its actually just wonderful. i really love saezs's genderfluid vox and how supportive the other vees are of them <3 their portrayl of the characters puts a smile on my face whenever i reread their work

Heat Waves by HappyPRAWN

notes: i'll be fr dsmptsd hit me like a truck when i read the title but it is such an interesting debut! only at one chapter as of me making this post but the way the author wrote this is so engaging and it really makes me wonder what they have next in store for the fic

Do I have your attention now? by Chi_Chi25

notes: wow no way we have the same name... anyway ahem. ill be completely honest this ones a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. this fic is a bit fragmented and short, so for people who click off fics when they see imperfect grammar this one may not be for you. however if you can look past that, it has an engaging storyline and quite the juicy concept :)

Killer Ex by FanGirl48

notes: gorgeous, gorgeous little human! radiostatic oneshot. i love the relationship that vox and al have here... the reasons why they both stayed away from each other even though theyre still so very clearly down bad for each other... anyway. i think about this one a lot and i still go back to reread it sometimes lol

Negotiations by FanGirl48

notes: i didnt realize until i started making this list that this fic was also written by fangirl48.... go off queen keep feeding us (me). this one was a fic recommended to me initially by link nonny, and i can 100% vouch for how good it is. its got appletv interactions, radiostatic plus lucifer trying to navigate heaven, angels... basically everything needed for a very varied and well packed with flavour story

The diary of a Serial Killer by ShippersCave

notes: okay im running out of brain juice at this point but. yeah this fic is soooo self indulgent to me. this ones another human au, with al as a serial killer and vox as the journalist trying to conduct interviews with him. its got SUCH a good dynamic between al and vox, i encourage you guys to check it out and give it a chance even if youre not really into human aus.

My heart's been pierced by Cupid by ShippersCave

notes: pirate/siren au !!!!!!!!! RAAHH !!!!! i dont have to say anything else for this if thats not enough to get you to click then i dont know what is

System Shutdown by Swoolie

notes: i cant believe i nearly forgot about this one LMAO... vox goes onto a temporary hiatus and everyone goes crazy about it. im not really sure if this counts as radiostatic frankly because of the way its tagged but its so good i think you should give it a read anyway

Together in Radio Static by Anonymous

notes: QPR media husbands radiostatic au !!!! i love this one especially because it opens off with vox slapping alastor across the face for leaving him LMAOO (deserved)

What Has Been by Tianren

notes: another human au (YEAH YEAH I KNOW. JUST HEAR ME OUT OKAY i swear im cooking) look, as someone with religious trauma deeper than i can properly express and the worlds fifteenth worst parental issues, the depiction of vox in this fic just really hits home. i really adore the exploration of voxs past and how the themes of religious guilt and cults are woven in so far- and it blends very seamlessly with their human au, despite the characters eccentricities

you're too sweet for me by awestruck_atrophy and moonbeanies

notes: basically, vox and al make a deal where vox tries to help him out of the shackles or whatever that are bound to him because of his stupid dumbass lusting for power. its very intriguing so far and i love the setup and worldbuilding the authors have done, so you should check it out if you want a unique perspective on radiostatics relationship

candlelight by curtailed

notes: the best way i can think of to describe this one is like... fake marriage but instead of fake marriage its. fake roommates??? the author probably puts it better than me tbh. its super interesting so far, i cant wait to see where this one is headed especially with how unique its premise is!

Zero Day by Anonymous

notes: this one is like those time regression manhwas. you know, the ones where the protag goes back in time and proceeds to try and avoid everyone who made their life miserable- only to fail because for some reason now they're paying attention to them more than they would have had they stayed the same person. its certainly very promising, though! i do love indulging in time regression stories, especially when the mc is someone i love like vox. i really cant wait to see which direction this one is headed in :)

Never as Good as the First Time by IComeForFanficsNowin403

notes: okay. so, uh. um. so- this one is in spanish. HOWEVER its premise (serial killer alastor meets television star (?? i think. its not quite clear) at a party hosted by rosie, moves into his neighborhood to keep an eye on the pretty prey) is just so unique i honestly think its worth the experience to pull out google translate and try living the machine translated life. really. give it a chance. also its got beautiful art to go along with, so.. you know. thats just a bonus!

+ honorary staticmoth and one-sided/past radiostatic fic rec:

Freak-A-Zoid by Femalefonzie

notes: this fic deserves every single piece of praise its ever gotten because good lord. its SO good. i was not seeing the radiostatic twist come in, but it *is* mostly staticmoth. and also a/b/o but i mean. who *hasnt* indulged in a little bit of a/b/o before honestly

there are other fics that i personally like to indulge in, but i frankly wouldnt recommend to anyone else because they're either the kinds of fics that i myself can only bring myself to read after ive spent 8 hours at work crying into my pillow and need to look at something entertaining, or when im starved of content and cant be bothered to cook myself so i pull out the translator and start going at it. (technically i should know how to read french by now but. urgh. anywway..)

[madi-writes-things]

Nobody Pt. 5

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 906

TW: Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Hurt Comfort, Crying, Not Edited, Hangover (again, I’ve never even had a full beer. So this is probably not realistic 🤷‍♀️), Liquid Tylenol (self indulgent, but I personally struggle with swallowing pills. Any thing other than my iron pills is liquid 🫠), mentions of a dead sibling/toxic family, birthday stuff

A/N: I have over 100 photos/videos from the hozier concert… it took so long to find the Chris pics 🙃.

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Pain. Excruciating pain all throughout my skull and body. I reach out and realize that Chris isn’t in the bed with me. When I finally muster up the strength to open my eyes I see a bottle of water, liquid Tylenol, and a note on the nightstand.

Out filming with the boys, I’ll be back soon. I got you the liquid Tylenol, I know you struggle with pills (especially if you’re nauseous). Make sure you drink plenty of water, and try to eat something :)

I quickly take the accurate dose of Tylenol, nearly in tears about the fact that he remembered my struggle to swallow pills. My hands shake as I lift the water to my lips, my mouth feeling dryer than the Nevada deserts. The thought of eating right now made my stomach churn. I rolled over, and tried to imagine Chris holding me. As much as it sucks, it’s the only way that I can sleep at this point.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I hated leaving her alone this morning, but our video is supposed to go up at 6:00 today and we hadn’t even filmed it yet. I left her a little note with some pain meds and water, I honestly hope that she didn’t wake up yet. The thought of her waking up disoriented, without me there is one that I’ve been trying to push to the back of my mind.

“dude, she’s fine. We’re almost home, and she probably just rolled over and went back to sleep if she did wake up.” I look at nick when he says it. I know he’s probably right, but it doesn’t stop the incessant bouncing of my legs.

I finally decide to change the subject to something that I’ve been thinking about for a while. “What are we doing for her birthday?” I know she doesn’t celebrate her birthday usually, but I think she deserves a celebration. Nick and Matt both make faces at me, conveying my thoughts. “Listen, I know that she doesn’t celebrate, and I understand why… but I want to make her feel loved, we’re basically the only family that she has.”

“we’ve tried to do birthday stuff with her…” Matt starts, staring straight ahead. “I promise you, she’ll just cry.”

Before the conversation can continue, we pull up to the house. I’m out of the car before Matt can even get the keys out of the ignition, and I’m up the stairs in no time. When I open the door she’s laying peacefully on her side, the water bottle is empty and the Tylenol has been opened.

she looks so peaceful. Her hair falls gracefully across her face, and her arms wrap around her body. As I get closer I notice something odd about the way she’s lying.

there are obvious tear tracks down her face, and he’s holding herself tight… it resembles the way that I hold her.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I feel hands on my face before I register the fact that I even fell asleep. Soft hands, brushing the hair from my face and pulling me gently from my slumber.

“Hey baby” that when my eyes open. There he is, crouching in front of me. Chris. “There she is.” He’s practically giggling, which makes me smile.

I sit up quickly, making myself a bit dizzy. He just holds me upright, a slight look of worry in his eyes.

Suddenly his hands are on my face again, wiping away my tears. He wasn’t supposed to see that, he can’t know that I cried myself to sleep because he wasn’t there to hold me. That’s not allowed when you’re fake dating someone, you aren’t allowed to need them this much.

“”“”“”“”“”

I can’t get out of Chris’s bed. I no longer sleep in my own, and as soon as I opened my eyes this morning I regretted it. For a moment, right when I woke up, I felt like it was going to be a normal day… but then I saw the date when I opened my phone.

I contemplate trying to sleep through the day, when I hear the door creak open. I roll over to see Chris balancing a personal sized cake in one hand, and a ballon that says “20” in the other.

I’m crying before he can even make halfway to the bed. As soon as he sees me crying he rushes to set the cake down and comfort me.

“I know baby” there it is again, even when we’re alone it slips out sometimes. I live for the moments that I can pretend that he loves me too. “I know you don’t really celebrate, and I understand why, but I also think that you deserve to feel cared for and celebrated by the family around you.”

now I’m crying even harder.

I hate today, partially because it reminds me of my brother, but also because I feel like I’m not allowed to be happy on a day that centers around him. Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to celebrate, my parents practically refused to acknowledge me on my birthday after his death.

“Here, I had nick get your favorite flavor” he shows me the cake that was formerly sitting on the nightstand. He places two candles into the cake before lighting them. “Make a wish.”

I wish that this wasn’t fake, that someone could actually love me as much as Chris pretends to.

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann

[ruelpsen]

Hi it’s the gas balls anon. Good God you latched on hard. You haven’t considered one thing though. If either of you swallowed them whole. If you bite them the gas enters your body right away. But if you swallow it whole then the gas doesn’t enter your body until it bursts inside you. Which means if one of you swallowed a bunch then got a belly rub from the other they would all burst at once.

Oh fuck oh shit oh lord, I think this calls for a continuation...

"Fuck, baby, I'm so full," I moaned, leaning my head against his shoulder. I almost stumbled, but L/ondo, with his arm around me, kept me upright.

"I've got you, darling," he cooed. The next thing I knew, we were stopped before the door to his quarters. He opened the door and guided me to his couch. "Here, rest as long as you need."

"Thank you," I groaned, sprawling out on the couch. "I think I overdid it a bit. I-" I paused for a second, belching into my fist.

"Oh my... how much did you indulge in?" he asked.

"Oh lord, what didn't I eat," I mused into a groan. "I had most of everything. At least the stuff I know I can eat. The spoo looked tempting, but I didn't want to press my luck..."

L/ondo sat down next to me and gently put a hand on my belly. He pressed down lightly with his fingers, which was still enough to free up a small burp.

"My, my... it's good to see that you had so much fun," he purred. "What can I do to help you feel better, my love?"

"I need to- urrrp- I need to free up some more room. Can you help me?"

"Of course, dear," he responded, repositioning both of us so I was now seated between his legs, leaning back against his chest. "Here. Tell me what feels best."

I moaned softly as he began to rub and prod at my gut, feeling my fullness beneath his fingers.

"Great Maker, you ate a lot," he mused. "You've done so well, my darling. How does this feel?"

He pressed down slightly harder than before, forcing up a decent burp. I moaned, instinctively shifting my ass back against his crotch. I could feel the beating of his hearts intensify against my back.

"That feels so good," I moaned. "L/ondo, babe..."

He kissed the back of my neck, his fangs pressing into my skin. Despite my discomfort, I tried to reach back and rub his sides, failing however to grasp at the tentacles I suspected were beginning to writhe under his shirts. My breath began to quicken, until a sudden cramp made me gasp in pain and freeze.

"Easy there, now," he whispered against my skin. He gently turned my head to one side and tenderly kissed my cheek. "I may be able to help you feel yet more comfortable, you know. Did you bring me the tuchanta as I requested?"

"Oh yes, I did," I answered. "In my jacket pocket."

He felt around and pulled a container from my pocket, which he opened to reveal several of the gas balls. He picked one up and studied it for a moment, holding it before me. He then pressed it to my lips, but kept one finger against them to keep me from biting down. Sure, I might have been full to the point of some discomfort, but if he's putting food in front of me, I will eat as much of it as I physically can.

"No biting," he instructed. "Swallow it whole, alright?"

I nodded slightly and opened my mouth, allowing him to slide it in. It was tempting to bite down on the sweet treat, but I held myself back and gulped it down.

"Fuck, I'm so full... are you sure me eating this is a good idea?" I asked.

"Of course, dear," he answered. "This is an old C/entauri trick. Trust me, I know this will help."

I closed my eyes and sighed, only to feel another ball at my lips. I opened and swallowed, unsure how making me even more full might help at all. And then another. That makes three, on top of the... ten? Eleven? However many I'd eaten at the party. Fuck, this was really starting to push it. But this time, they didn't seem to be doing anything to me.

"Alright dear..." L/ondo said, breaking my train of thought. "Deep breath."

I couldn't breathe all that deep due to how full I was, but I obeyed. Without any further warning, he pressed firmly against my stomach with both hands. I felt something strange in my gut. Something even more uncomfortable than all my previous discomfort. Fuck, I hope I'm not about to get sick, I thought. I could feel my stomach expanding under L/ondo's fingers. Fuck, fuck, fuck, this hurts so much but this feels so good...

L/ondo pressed down again, causing me to release the longest, loudest belch of my life. It rumbled out of me with an unmatched richness, leaving me breathless in its wake. Fuck, it was positively orgasmic. Feeling so much better with all that out of me, I slumped back against L/ondo...

Forcing an almost equally impressive belch out of him. He moaned breathlessly at the end, laughing as his chest heaved against me. He felt my belly, working his way down into my pants. He chuckled when he discovered from the warm, sticky wetness he found that my gargantuan belch really was orgasmic.

"L/ondo..." I moaned. "What... did you..."

"I may have slipped a couple in myself while I was tending to you," he beamed. He pressed my belly again while pressing me against his own. We belched in unison, making us both laugh. I turned and kissed him passionately.

"I've never come just from belching before," I whispered. "I can't believe you made me do that!"

"And let me guess, you feel much better now, yes?" he whispered back. I nodded. "That's the wonder of tuchanta. Good for clearing space, easing those aches of fullness... and of course, for pleasure."

He burped again and smiled.

"After all that, I'm sure I could have some more," I growled. "I think it's only fair I thank you for making me feel so good. Should we take this to the bedroom?"

He beamed, his fangs glinting as his eyes filled with lust. I could feel his tentacles squirming now, ready for action. He grabbed another ball and pressed it to my lips.

"Absolutely."

[sparklingmineraltequila]

American Wasteland

Note: Finally, a Cassandra POV. Sorry that it's a tiny bit shorter but I have had one of most emotionally traumatising weeks of my life. Don't worry, next chapter I'm back on my shit with smut and all.

Warnings: 18+, drugs, alcohol, sex work, references to past abuse, domestic violence

Hot afternoons can feel like an impending scream. It's the mundanity about them that has always killed Cassandra. All the filth and despair of wide, yawning night with its neon lights and hookers on pavements and aching solitude is manageable; at least she can focus her misery on something concrete. But these baked afternoons, when the hours bleed into one amalgam of humming fans and beading sweat, plunge her into a white hot light of clarity at just how fucking sad she is. She's indulging herself too. Has been for the past three fucking hours, doing nothing but picking at her nail beds and staring at a stack of Crash's books against the wall and studying them. He dog-ears his pages, she already knows that, and from here she can see that he cracks the spines too, not surprising. Cassandra quickly pushes down the bubbling sentimentality she feels at the closeness of Crash in those simple acts. Harder still when thinking about those ice blues eyes, the absent minded twisting of a wedding band that's no longer there but the memory of an ex-wife that Cassandra knows nothing about but her name, that oily scent of tobacco on his fingers when he pushes them past her lips. The trailer door opens and he comes in: Crash holding a pharmacy bag,

'You're up,' he states, not daring to make eye contact after what transpired last night. Cassandra thinks it's the first sheepishness she's ever seen cross the stoic lines of his face. She doesn't reply.

'I got you some aspirin,' he continues, setting the bag next to the bed, regarding her for a moment longer which she returns with a glacial look.

'I don't have to talk to you,' Cassandra deadpans, not even bothering to sit up.

'I know,' Rust returns, with an equal frostiness that sends Cassandra into indignant fury.

'How dare you take that mild-ass tone with me,' she spits, now shifting to sit up, 'I got fucking drugged and fucked and then made a complete goddamn fool of myself spewing my guts on the side of the road like some fucking teenager.'

'You are a teenager.'

'I'm twenty fucking years old.'

'Oh you think that a couple months, some cussing and hard-ass attitude means you ain't a teenager. You've still got your goddamn baby hairs, Cassandra.'

He's right and it makes her sick. All the things that she's done to shed that oppressive sheath of girlhood to become a woman. Woman: the word always seemed glossy and unattainable to Cassandra. Fuck if she didn't practice at whatever she thought it entailed: learning how to properly inhale, switching from tights to stay-ups, conditioning herself to like beer by forcing herself to order Blue Ribbons when she went out. It would also mean a whole new type of navigation in her relationships with men; the idea of sex now lingering behind every exchange. Sex. It's what has practically defined her life since she went through puberty. Who to do it with, who not to, how to use it, how to make that biker think you want him without ending with your head bashed against the stage when he realises you don't. Cassandra has learnt to keep her desire and attraction to a minimum. Like with dope dealers, the dumbest shit you can do is get addicted to what you sell. Then Crash came along and fucked up her whole plan. In and out of stripping, pay for rent and save up for student debt, get away from dad and stay alive and sane. But no, not since that night that he came in that year ago, hair starting to turn from that golden to the caramel brown that it is now and cut surprisingly short for a biker. He'd sat with Ginger and a few other of the Iron Crusaders, nursing a Lone Star with a look. far more terrifying than the feral cruelty behind his companions' eyes: ice cold impassivity. A man with nothing to lose has a degree of violence to him allowed by his complete detachment to anything and anyone. Cassandra knew this and yet still locked eyes with him every time she saw him watching her on stage. Never a lap dance, though. She'd tried once and his disgust had made her feel smaller than any of the copious insults dolled out by her father,

'No.' Crash had said firmly, pushing her off with a surprising gentleness.

'It's fine, y'know. It's my job,' Cassandra had tried to reassure him, sitting next to him. He'd turned to look at her and had asked,

'How old are you?'

That had made her arch her eyebrow,

'19. Why? You like 'em older?'

To a less observant person, Rust's jaw muscle twitching would've gone unnoticed,

'Yeah, I do,' he'd said, shoving a twenty dollar bill in her panties' waistband, Cassandra noticing how he'd chosen to place it on her hipbone, 'Clear off, baby.'

'Want me to send over Rose? Red-head, real pretty.'

As Cassandra had said this, a burly Iron Crusader had called her name from across the club, making her turn,

'Yeah, baby?'

'Come bring that pretty, lil' ass over to daddy's lap,' the man had slurred, making Cassandra wince and start to head in his direction. That was until Rust had grabbed her wrist, halting her,

'Easy, Thunder,' he had called over to his fellow Crusader, 'I haven't decided whether to take this one for a spin, yet. She any good?'

'The best, Crash,' Thunder had cackled back, raising his beer in salute to him. With that, Crash had pulled her down into the booth next to him, lighting and a cigarette with complete disregard towards a confused Cassandra perched next to him. When she'd tried to straddle him again, he'd pushed her off,

'Listen, I have a quota to make so do you want a fucking lap dance or not?' She had huffed with a slight agitation in her voice that she hadn't yet learned how to conceal. In those days, she was hungry for it: money, sex, attention, security. Too hungry to learn how to manage it when it spilled over and tinged her tone in desperation.

'What's your quota?' Rust had asked through an exhale of smoke, seemingly uninterested.

'Around 50 dollars, at least.'

He'd arched his eyebrow at her,

'You tryin' to do one over me?'

'I'm desperate, not stupid. If I was trying to scam someone, I'd have picked some liquored up truck driver who hasn't gotten some since Missouri,' Cassandra had stated dryly, making Rust's lip quirk up momentarily.

'50 dollars, at least, by the end of your shift, huh?' he'd drawled, cigarette pinched between his fingers.

'Yeah.'

'What time's your shift end?'

'About another hour.'

'How much money are you on?'

'Straight floor work? About 40.'

Rust had reached into his back pocket and pulled out a tattered, leather wallet before putting down 5 ten dollar bills,

'50 but you stick with me until you're done.'

Cassandra had eyed the bills with suspicion and Rust dryly stated,

'Don't be an idiot, Cassandra. Take the fuckin' money and just sit your ass down.'

'You know my name?'

He had jerked his head towards a huddle of Iron Crusaders in another booth,

'You're popular.'

'Oh.' she'd nodded, slightly deflated by the implications. Rust had picked up on the tinge of shame in her eyes,

'Ain't no shame in it, baby.'

'You don't have to be nice about it.'

'I ain't nice.'

Cassandra had regarded him for a moment longer, thrown off by his apparent self-discipline,

'So, you're stuck with me for an hour. What do you wanna do?' she'd asked, tucking her knees onto the booth. Rust had barely spared her a sidelong glance,

'What're you drinking?'

'Jack and coke.'

He'd scoffed at that,

'You're nineteen.'

'And you're a biker running meth so who's breaking the law more, here?'

That had gotten a proper look from Rust, almost turning his head in her direction before handing his glass,

'How's straight whiskey?'

Cassandra had taken the glass from him and taken a straight gulp while being watched by an impassive Rust,

'What's your name, baby?' she asked in a saccharine tone, a slight tilt to her head.

'Drop the act.'

'I don't have a fucking act. This is how I talk.'

Rust had hummed at that,

'Crash.'

'Crash, huh?'

'Yeah. Crash,' Rust had replied, fixing her with a cold stare. Cassandra had nodded, slightly intimated,

'Ok, Crash.'

A schoolgirl crush had morphed into a worrying codependency that had left her strewn on his mattress, in a semi-catatonic state. Worst part is: Cassandra cannot bring herself to hate him. The sickest part of her is even hoping that he kind of finds her attractive like this: at her rawest, most ugly state. She doesn't know how much longer she can keep the jig up; this near constant state of self surveillance is weighing on her heavily and this lacquer of practiced indifference is eroding. Fast. Even now, as Crash places a glass of water, a carton of Marlboro Golds and a bag of those plasticky powdered donuts by the mattress, she can feel her resolve faltering; trying to ignore the small disappointment that he cares so little to concede her her cigarettes. The grit in her wants to right-hook him hard and run away from this place, but she can't and she won't. She doesn't have anywhere left to run and the humiliation of having to ask to crash with one of her fancy college friends gnaws at her. She notices him staring at her, crouched by the mattress. Burying her head in the pillow, she mumbles,

'Stop it. Please stop it cause, I swear to god, that I'll cry if you don't.'

'Cry, then,' Rust mutters, 'Ain't no shame in it.'

'Yes, there is. A lot. Crash, I'm-I'm a whore,' Cassandra chokes out in a sob.

'Hey-Hey, you never fuckin' say that ever again. You hear?' Rust says, voice raising slightly as he clasps her jaw with his hand, 'What happened last night was me, all me. You were high out of your fuckin' mind and, even if you weren't, you couldn't had said no if you wanted to.'

'But I liked it.'

Rust ignores the heat that pools in his gut at those words,

'That don't make no fuckin' difference.'

Cassandra brings her hands to her face, trying to conceal her tear streaked cheeks. A futile endeavour, given the heaves of her sobs,

'It ain't even that. I've been a stripper since I was eighteen. Eighteen, Crash. What the actual fuck is wrong with me?!'

'You were a desperate, little girl with a daddy who beat her and no other choice in this cesspit of a fuckin' world other than to strip for men like me.'

'Not for men like yo-'

'Yes, Cassandra. For men like me. Stop making fuckin' excuses, you're smarter than that,' Rust borderline snarls, her chin still grasped in his hand as he shakes it slightly, emphasising his words.

Cassandra stares at him for a moment before she gives Rust the type of embrace that she hasn't given since she ran up to the police officer who pulled up, just as her dad burst out of the house with the jagged end of a bottle of malt liquor in hand. She buries her nose between the seam of his leather jacket and his faded t-shirt, inhaling deeply: sweat, Camels, beer, faint scent of deodorant. She moves her head up to thank him in the only way she knows how to and starts to kiss his neck. Rust gently grasps her shoulders to pull her away,

'Not now, baby. Tomorrow but not today.'

'I can-'

'You ain't in the right state of mind. I can see it. You ain't my Cass, right now. You're that scared little girl tryin' to reconcile the fact that her daddy has hit her for the first time and that it ain't gonna be the last.'

Cassandra flinches at that,

'Why the fuck would you bring that up?'

'To remind you that you should be scared.'

'Of you?'

'Of any man.'

Cassandra eyes him narrowly as he stands up,

'You heading out?'

'I'll be back, tonight.'

'Can you hand me a book?'

'Which one?'

'Something relatively chill.'

Rust goes to his stack against the wall, runs his hand down and stops at a book before lifting up the ones above it and slotting it out. He hands it to her,

'First bit of philosophy I ever read. I think most of what he preaches is placid bullshit but it ain't too intense a read.'

Cassandra takes The Stranger from Rust's hand and briefly flicks through the pages before landing at the first one. She squints to read some pen scrawl,

Houston, 1987,

For all those sleepless nights and to kickstart those philosophy courses that you've been mentioning,

From Claire to Rust

Cassandra's head snaps up, brow furrowing. She recognises one name, not the other. Her voice is gelid as she ask,

'Who the hell is Rust?'

[ellieslovr]

I’ve Got You (e. williams)

——————————————————

A/N:Okay, so this is entirely self indulgent since I was having a bad night. Mental illness was kicking my ass so here’s the result of that. I’m too tired to know if it makes any sense but I hope you guys like it either way. PLEASE read the content warning below, it’s a bit heavy because as stated, I wrote it for myself originally. I figured I’d share this in case anyone else is struggling. Love you guys, and I’m always here if you wanna chat <3

cw: mentions of heavy intrusive thoughts, and mentions of mental illness and its various symptoms as a whole.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧

You’re not sure what causes it. Maybe it’s the stress from work, or maybe it’s just something in the air.

The moment you get home, Ellie’s sat on the couch playing a game. She darts her eyes towards you quickly, still focused. “How was your day,baby?” She asks, flicking the joystick with her thumb.

You don’t say anything. This catches her attention, and she pauses the game and looks up. By now, there are tears streaming down your face.

“Oh, sweetheart.” She coos, placing the controller down and standing up. She opens up her arms, and you barrel towards her.

She strokes your hair gently as you sob into her chest, no doubt in your mind that you’re probably ruining her favorite sweater.

She doesn’t seem to mind though, as she lifts your chin to meet her eyes. “You wanna talk about what happened babe?” She asked. You shrug, moving to sit down on the couch.

She follows and plops down next to you, putting a hand on your back. You lean into her embrace and sigh, sniffling lightly. “I-I don’t know. It’s nothing really specific, I’ve just been upset lately. I’m not sure why.” She nods in understanding, rubbing your back softly.

While she’s silent, you suddenly feel bad. She probably just wanted to relax and play her game, and here you are, bothering her about nonsense. You knew she didn’t actually feel that way, but you usually preferred to not bring these thoughts up to her.

You were worried that if you did, she’d be upset that you saw her that way. You’d had many intrusive thoughts of harming either yourself or Ellie, and even though you know with absolute certainty you’d never act upon them, they still scare you. Some days, you felt like a monster. Incapable of loving or being loved.

Deep down, you know Ellie loves you. You love her too, more than anything in the entire world. You’d come to the conclusion one day though, that your brain wasn’t wired properly.

Before your thoughts could spiral more out of control, Ellie spoke up. “I get what you mean, baby. Some days it’s just tough, yeah?” She said. You nodded, a few stray tears slipping down your face. “The world just fucking sucks sometimes. Everything’s just so overwhelming these days.” You reply, curling into her side.

She laughs dryly. “You’re not kidding. It’s like in my case, I’m fine most days. But on the days I’m not, well you’ve seen me. It’s like a switch gets flipped or something.” Ellie said, running a hand through your hair. “It’s an exhausting feeling.” You reply, turning to face her.

She smiles. “It is. You wanna know how I get through it though?” You nod, and she cups your face between her hands. “I just think about you. World’s going to hell in a handbasket, but you’re always right there by my side. Remember that time I had a fight with Joel?” She asked.

“Mhm, I remember.” You say.

Ellie smiles. “Well, I was super upset that day. As soon as I stepped in the door, you knew something was off. I didn’t wanna talk about it, so you just kissed my cheek and went into the kitchen.” She paused for a moment, smiling.

“You made me chocolate covered strawberries, cause you knew they were my favorite. Then we cuddled on the couch and watched Star Trek. I’ll never forget that day.” She recalled fondly, her free hand tracing soothing circles on your thigh.

Your eyes well up. “I love you, Ellie.” You breathe, looking up at her. Her smile nearly splits her face in half. “I love you too, sweet girl. Always will, now and forever.” She replied, pressing kisses all over your face.

You giggle. “Ew gross, I’ve got snot and tears all over my face.” She fake pouts, brushing a piece of stray hair out of your eyes. “I don’t care, you still look adorable. Now c’mere.”

You playfully roll your eyes as she pulls you into a proper kiss, her hands cupping your face. When you both pull away, she leans her forehead against yours, stroking your cheek with her thumb.

“We’ll get through the hard days together, yeah? We’re a team, you and me. Like the byronosaurus and the citipati. Did you know their nests were adjacent?.” She asks you with a smile.

You laugh, nodding your head. “Yeah, exactly like that. You learn that from one of your little documentaries?” You ask her.

“I did, I watched a really good one last night.” She said. You chuckle, adjusting yourself to lay on her chest. “You’re a dork.” You tell her, playing with the strings of her hoodie.

You feel her chest vibrate beneath you as her laughter fills the air. “You love it.” She tells you, a cocky grin on her face.

You can’t help but roll your eyes and smile back at her. “I do. Not as much as I love you, though.” Ellie blushes, a nervous little smile on her face. No matter how many times you’d told her you loved her, she still got as flustered as the first time. It was one of your favorite things about her, something you’d never get tired of.

“I love you the mostest. So ha!” She exclaimed.

“That’s not a real word baby, but I’ll give it to you.” You told her. She fist pumps triumphantly. You cuddle further into her, and she sighs contentedly.

She picks up her controller and saves her game before exiting it. “What’re you doing?” You ask her. She kisses the top of your head. “I’m gonna put on that space documentary you like. That okay with you, doll?” You blush at the pet name and nod your head.

Ellie smiles lovingly at you before pressing play. As the documentary starts, you completely forget about the stress of life. Sure, things were hard. They wouldn’t change overnight, and it would take time for you to feel okay again.

But right now you had Ellie at your side, and you knew she would be with you every step of the way. She was the love of your life, and you were hers. With her, you knew you could face anything that came your way.

You fell asleep in her arms later that night, surrounded by her scent and warmth. You’ve never felt happier.

[prince-koda]

Under the Weather

Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1105

CW: They/Them/Theirs used for reader, reader is on unspecified medication(s) for depressive traits, no physical descriptions of reader, avengers compound or bust.

AN: I have returned to bring another insanely self-indulgent post. I have been moving, still unemployed, and recently dealing with the physical effects of not taking care of myself while on medications which is no good. I'm also posted a little tip sheet with some of the things I try to do to help myself stay afloat when I'm feeling particularly down and unable to do anything.

Constructive criticism always appreciated.

Some days it feels impossible to get out of bed. With what felt like the weight of the world on their shoulders made their back ache and their stomach churn. The feeling of being a burden filled them with dread, terrified of losing everyone for being ‘too difficult’, ‘too distant’, ‘too hot and cold’.

Another night of restless sleep, hips hurting from all the tossing and turning. Left side, stomach, back, left side, right side; it never stopped. It wouldn’t be long before the familiar ache behind their eyes came back and made it hard to do anything without causing their head to pound. Too tired and nauseous to eat consistently only fed into the sad cycle.

The hole was getting deeper and harder to climb out of and it was frightening. Being tired and having a headache only works so well and for so long before it rings empty as a lazy attempt to avoid work and socializing.

They sat on their bed, attempting to push through the fog in their brain by rubbing their eyes and face. They needed to get up and at least go to the kitchen and get water so someone in the compound could see they were still alive, but even a short interaction made the task feel like a full blown mission.

2 knocks and a “hey” from the other side of the door was all it took to clear the fog. One deep breath and then they finally stood, pushing all they could into the back of their mind. The pit in their stomach was impossible to push away.

Once the door was opened, Bucky’s pretty eyes and low bun peaked in.

“How ya feeling? Any better?”  A small smile rested on his face as his eyes tried to subtly scope out the room, looking for any red flags. He had to make sure his paranoia was just that: paranoia.

“I didn’t sleep very well, but I feel a little better.” A partially truthful answer quietly slipped from their lips.

Bucky quietly hummed in response, pausing for a moment as he struggled to find his words. What neither party expected was for the door to open wider, ushering Bucky inside. Both hearts fluttered at the reality of finally seeing one another face to face. It was time for them to take baby steps.

“Sam was telling me about this movie, I don’t remember the name, but he texted it to me and I was thinking we could watch it together. I can get snacks and everything.” He offered as he stepped into the room, allowing him to continue his search for any clues; anything that could help him understand what to do.

Like he normally did, he took a seat at the desk in the corner, spinning the chair to face the entire room. It wasn’t his space; even after being invited plenty of times, he feared coming off as too comfortable. 

“I’m not sure I’m feeling good enough for a group thing.” Was the quiet response, hoping that would suffice. After closing the door, they shuffled slightly to sit at the end of the messy bed. 

“Oh.” He had noticed the room was the same. It looked the exact same way it did last time he was over. Nothing in the room seemed to have been used since then other than the bed. He figured they’d done nothing, but lay in bed. He clear his throat quietly. “I meant just you and me, but there’s no pressure. Sam had said it was something you’d probably like.” Another partially true statement. He slyly omitted the part that he had been the one to reach out to Sam about what was playing in theaters.

“It’s just-” A sigh followed by a short pause. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Finally, no more half truths.

“It feels like I just can’t… feel, I guess.”  They played with their hands in their lap, eyes downcast. “My meds are supposed to help, but there must be something wrong with me.” It wasn’t a secret they had their ups and downs, but Bucky had never experienced a down like this. Unreturned messages and calls happened sometimes, seemingly being asleep anytime someone came to their door and the secret, quiet sobs after they thought whoever was at the door left; those were new.

“How can I help?” After hesitating, he pushed the chair closer to the end of the bed, slightly shortening the distance between the two. Earnestly, all he wanted was to help. He’d set the world on fire to help.

They felt their throat tighten. It felt as though the second they opened their mouth, they’d sob. Instead, they chose to shrug.

“Do you want me to leave? I can head out and maybe drop off some food if you want.” He didn’t want to leave for even a second.

Shakily, but quickly they said “No.”  They tightened their grip on their hands, wringing them now. “I-” their voice cracked, “You make me feel better.”

Now Bucky was sure he was going to cry. Before he could find his word, they had finally stopped strangling their hands, quickly pressing the heels of their palms into their eyes for a moment, before finally looking at Bucky.

“I’m probably just tired from not sleeping very well.” They tried giving a chuckle, downplaying the days and days of not having the energy to do anything besides get up to use the restroom or grab some water from the bathroom tap.

“You take care of me when I don’t feel good, the least I can do is return the favor. We can call your doctor and-?” Bucky pushed forward in his chair again, his knees almost bumping into theirs.

“You don’t owe me anything Buck.” They scoffed, eyes falling again from his conviction.

“That’s not what I meant. I’d help you even if you punched me in the gut every day.” He knocked his knee against theirs. “Maybe I can con Sam to bring us some food and we can make fun of some low budget films.” Dipping his head for any eye contact.

When they peeked up, they gave a little nod. “I’d appreciate that.” Bumping Bucky back with their knee.

“Maybe some sandwiches? Plain enough to upset your stomach?” Bucky wasn’t unfamiliar with trying to eat after an extended period without food.

A soft smile, the first real one in what he felt like was centuries, graced their face.

“I really appreciate you, Bucky. Don’t tell Sammy, but you’re my favorite.”

“Like he doesn’t already know that.” Bucky smiles back.

Baby steps.

[dudeslut]

Edging & Denial | Day 6 Report

Day 6 challenge details:

Amount of edges: 11

Instructions: I have to cockwarm my dildo in my ass the entire time!

Edging instructions and/or punishment suggestions are welcome!

(original post detailing the challenge)

•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•

Sorry for the late report, life happens ya know haha! Everything's all good, nothing bad just busy! Now back to horny >:3c And this one is a long one 😉

Prior to this, I had only ever cockwarmed a dildo in my cunt. However it wasn't for long because the dildo I have has balls and a big base so it was uncomfortable to sit with it, even all the way in. And not a sexy type of uncomfortable lol 😭

Anyway, I was looking forward to cockwarming in my ass since it seemed like it would be more comfortable to sit with it inserted there. I got started half sitting, half laying naked in bed like usual. I began to prep, rubbing and stroking my tdick until I was hard and leaking 🤤

This time around, I was driven by a specific hot fantasy/scenario. I was imagining a dom tying me up and fucking me. Specifically, I'm standing with a spreader bar between my legs and bent over a table. My hands are bound together in front of me and outstretched, keeping me in a bent position 🤤

My brain was really wanting to indulge in my praise kink so, while being tied, they continuously showered me in praise with a genuine sweetness and softness to their voice. 😵‍💫 And they're being so gentle with their movements. Once I'm tied up, they take things slow caressing my body, alternating between full grasps with their hands and light brushing with just fingers.

They continue the sweet talk - saying a lot of "good boy" of course 🥰 - until they're standing behind me. From here they slip their cock into my ass and then, in contrast to everything so far, just get super rough and aggressive. Their hands gripped tight on my hips as they slam into me, yet they still keep up the same gentle praises.

So, I'm getting absolutely railed until I can barely speak words while hearing, "good boy, taking me so well," "you're making such pretty noises, don't stop baby," "god you're so good for me, letting me fuck your tight little asshole," etc.

Anyway while that very specific fantasy is bouncing around my mind, I sat in a way that made it easier for my precum to drip down and coat my asshole. When I couldn't bare to be empty any longer, I lubed up my fingers and began to fuck myself open.

Face down, ass up is always the easiest position for me to finger my ass without my arm falling asleep or being in a weird position haha. One finger slips in easily; I didn't take a lot of time to rub my hole or tease in other ways like I usually like to do because I was soooo desperate to be filled 😵‍💫 With my precum and extra lube, the second and third finger quickly joined the first.

I thrust myself back onto my fingers as I scissored them apart, just trying to stretch myself as quickly as possible. It's hard for me to reach my sweet spot and keep it consistently stimulated with just my fingers. This feels like it's own type of edging and teasing that drives me crazyyyyy 🥵

It'd been probably close to ~8 months since I was able to properly fuck myself in the ass with a dick so I was extra sensitive and needy 🥴 Feeling open enough, I pulled my fingers out, prepped my dildo with a condom and lube and returned to face down, ass up.

I wanted it in me so bad I was futilely trying to just shove it in but this just made my muscles tense from the exertion 😂 I had to stop myself and calm the excited, horny part of my brain long enough to remember to relax. Finally I was able to breach my asshole with the dildo and let out an unexpected whine. I wasn't expecting the immediate stretch to get to me and feel sooo fucking good.

I had to pause because the whine was a little loud and was hoping my roommate didn't hear. I was able to proceed and fill myself; not too fast or too slow, I wanted to savor the feeling 🤤 When it slid against my sweet spot, I was so glad I wasn't touching my dick because I probably would have came instantly 😵‍💫 It'd been too long my ass was just begging to be fucked 🫣

When it bottomed out, I reveled in the fullness while resisting the urge to start thrusting it in and out. I flipped over onto my backside and adjusted until I was comfortable. Every fiber of me wanted to ride my dildo soooo fucking bad it was embarrassing; the fullness felt great, but god I NEEDED to be fucked! 🥵 Maybe driven by the praise in my fantasy, I was somehow able to overcome the urge to fuck myself and just cockwarm.

I started jerking off in earnest, feeling my little dick twitch in my hand and my cunt leak even more precum onto my asshole 🤤 And it was off to the races! I couldn't stop whimpering in frustration at the lack of movement in my ass and ended up having to muffle myself with a small pillow.

To be burning with pleasure from the delicious fullness inside me and perfect strokes to my dick, but simultaneously being under stimulated felt wild! My brain and cock both knew I could be relieving my need to get fucked. Not giving in felt like my body was trying to constantly yell the reminder at me that there's literally a dick in my ass I could easily bounce on 🥴 One of the craziest horny feelings I've had.

My frustrating yet incredibly pleasurable setup made me quickly reach the edge each time. No close calls thankfully and after the first few edges, the frustration part began to die down and I began to fully enjoy just being filled 🤤

When I finished my edges, my cock was pulsing, my cunt leaking, and my asshole clenching with need. I wanted to stay full so bad and cum like that but knew I couldn't. Feeling the dildo slide out of me made me tremble as I was reminded one last time how badly I wanted to fuck myself.

I cleaned up and went to bed horny and still a bit wet and hard. I don't know how I even managed to fall asleep 🥵 So glad tomorrow is the last edging/denial challenge day because bruh idk how much longer I can go unfucked and without cumming 😩😩😩

[wobbly-fluggers]

Baby Steps Part 2

Bokuto x Reader

Soulmate/alternate reality au

Summary on first post

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

---

I had more inspiration for this 3rd chapter is already almost done I hope you guys are enjoying this I've been having fun writing it and blurbs about it so that's all that really matters I guess lol

Either way I hope you like this next one! Btw Bokuto is coming very soon just gotta build up I'm planning on having this be a bit drawn out not just with them meeting up but them as a whole their relationship and everything like I said before this is a very self indulgent thing where it's hopefully gonna go over the before after and in between lol

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Chapter 2- Paint

"You know, if it hadn't been for Hana, James' wife, I don't think either of us would have transitioned well into this new life. "

You were sitting across from Yamamoto once again. She had painting supplies littered across the coffee table and while you weren't much of a painter you did try using her acrylics to hopefully paint a cityscape. Yamamoto stayed silent, allowing you to share as much as you wanted. Your talking seemed light, almost off handed but she could tell by the way you shifted in your seat that you would soon say more.

"Hana had cancer, that's why James went into the program to hopefully handle the medical bills..." Your face scrunched slightly becoming solemn, "He used to cry a lot at night.. quietly.. alone looking at her picture.. I think he wanted to be by her side.. he really loves her.." you never once looked up from your painting letting out a huff of air when you realize adding green to one of the buildings made it look weird.

"..he almost died once.. he and I were on a mission in France in 'the Gate' and well we were walking in some small country town it was a mission to see if there was any life besides those things.. and well it was real quiet nothing around that's the eerie thing about silence it says a lot more than when it's loud." You scoffed, " We should have known from the silence and vacantness of that town it wasn't safe." Your head shook as you looked up at the Yamamoto, turning serious.

"See there are two types of shadow people, one that acts just like a normal person only they have no face or speech, just empty black figures that pretend to do human-like things but really can't." You explained your voice stern as you moved your body to completely look at the women. "And then there is the 2nd type they're more intelligent than the first bunch which made it worse cause with the intelligence came aggression. And how you knew which type was in which place was if it was empty and silent...they like to lead you into a false sense of security.." You looked back down at your painting grabbing a bottle of indigo paint and putting it on your board of colors.

"We hadn't noticed to caught up in a conversation... He had been telling me about his wife. He got a letter from her that said she was cancer free.. he was over the moon about it.. and well it had been contagious it took my mind off what we were doing.. why we were there..." Your hand started to fidget with the dried paint on your board, shoulders slumped in on yourself as you shook your head in disapproval"If I went back now I would have screamed at my past self I would have told myself for the love of God pay attention... "

Your voice was clipped, your eyes glazed over, tone became monotone and detached as you recalled the memory"But we hadn't been paying attention and they attacked. They came out of nowhere and they attacked at every angle. It was terrifying. We barely survived.. when we finally thought it was over I had set my gun down to sit down and breath but I guess James.. he saw something I hadn't.. " you sucked in a shakybreath fists tightening in your lap, "it happened before I could even blink when his voice yelling my name finally reached my ears he was already on the ground and the thing that almost took my head was lifeless behind me."

Your face remained the same, it was your eyes that haunted Yamamoto, your eyeswere in agony showing just how deeply this moment affectedyou however indifferent you seemed to display. Your eyes were glazed with a tormented look and your what if questions screamed out of your pupils but your face remained the same calm even. Same light deadpanned look.

"I honestly even now couldn't tell you what happened in that second all I can is that James was bleeding out. The intelligent ones could make weapons out of their hands; they didn't try to pretend to be human they only took that form to taunt us... That's why he was bleeding out though it had stabbed him. James isn't a bitch-- sorry-" you shuffled in your seat sitting straighter you coughed eyes closed, "so when I saw him practically screaming in pain, shock taking over his system, blabbering about Hana as he tried desperately to close his wound I couldn't even think. I just ran to him. Dressed his wound best I could and threw him on my shoulders..." You paused in thought, "I guess I was in shock as well.. I didn't even think. I wasn't even thinking. I just knew I had to move or he would die. I mean hell I was injured myself but the thought never crossed my mind...the pain didn't even register..all I could think about was that James was gonna die because of me.."

"Bleed out or get infected were his options if I didn't move" your voice was blunt as you said both outcomes sent a shiver through Yamamoto.

You cleared your throat again"..and neitherone did I want to happen so I just went into action.. carried him over my shoulders like that for two hours. It. was. horrible. He's a big guy and a lot taller than me so it was awkward and I was in shock I wasn't thinking straight I was scared shitless.. " you didn't seem to notice your swear this time your eyes gone as you relived the moment you were describing."..that he would die so it was not an easy journey. Had to take him back to the launch pad we had set up. Thing was he was the one with the pilot training so I would have had to fly the helicopter we had arrived on.. some sort of luck was on his side that day though all things considered cause a rescue team had been dispatched to us." Your tone seemed to change almost thinking something was funny. Your eyes remained cheerless.

"Ha I had been in such a state of shock I had forgotten my walkie and radio and in 'The Gate' they took it very seriously when people didn't respond so they sent a nearby team to investigate." You smiled,"Haha they found 15 year old me carrying James's grown ass on my shoulders- sorry. But uh when James was all stitched up and healed I thought he'd leave to go back to his wife just like Aiko did after her purpose for being there was gone." Your mood seemed to shift. Yamamoto noted that you switched to lighter colors as you thought about your next words. You had been painting in blacks and deep reds beforehand.

"But he didn't.." you breathed out.

"He had talked to her got to have a real one on one after 7 years of just letters. He came back with a bunch of hickeys." You watched Yamamoto shake her head, "But he told me he was staying.. Hana told me one night after dinner when I was helping her with dishes that he didn't wanna leave me behind..."

Your voice became quieter "James is a good guy.. I'm glad he has Hana. She's very nurturing and sweet. She took me shopping for the first time after I was out. I needed clothes couldn't very well wear my dirty uniform everywhere I went and the social worker gave me 4 sizes too big clothes to wear.. but uh she took me to tiny unpopulated stores.. tried to make me feel comfortable..made me try on practically everything in the place though..she wanted me to figure out what I liked.. She took me to a music shop.. bought me my own guitar.. then she took me out to eat. And she talked and talked. I hadn't known what to say at the time. I was overwhelmed by it all being out being surrounded by so many people so many living breathing people all the faces. It was too much. All the people wanting answers and statements and wanting to hear what happened..." You cleared your throat, licked your lips and breathed out. You had begun to ramble recalling the day you shared with Hana and the efforts she put forth for you.

"She was there to come get me when I was taken to the Social Worker's office. I hadn't known what was going on.. they wanted to bring me back to my parents but they couldn't be found," on some bender probably, "and they were going to put me in the system. But then her and James came. I had been there a week, everyone wanted answers.. answers only I could give and I didn't know what to say then I saw them James had come through the door first his familiar face was a godsend at the time.." you smiled like you saw something she didn't.

"It quieted the chatter.." you nodded to yourself confirming your words, "Then she came in with a giant bag filled with paperwork. First thing James said to me when he got over to the chair I sat in all week was about his wife" it was clear from the twinkle in your eye you wanted her to ask.

Indulging she did, "what did James say?"

You repeated in a light hearted tone looking at the ceiling in amusement, "what did he say? He said, 'Stunning right?'..he was head over heels for her.." Yamamoto hummed in agreement you often commented on his love for Hana she noticed.

"He sat down next to me and she was the one to go into the Social Workers office; she and James became my legal guardians that day." Your expression became unreadable voice objective as you spoke about what they did for you. "They signed the paperwork saying they would look over me. They fought for my right to privacy about the matter allowing me to keep my name and face out of the public as they investigated the program, then they fought for my right to the money I earned by being in the program putting that money into my wallet instead of my parents hands. They came and protected me. James started it the first day I met him and Hana loved James, her soulmate, and so she protected me too without even knowing me. Then she took me shopping. I appreciate Hana. She looked out for me when she had no obligation to.. same for James. He stayed." You cleared your throat nodding like there was no other way to interpret it other than that you seemed done with your story as well looking over your nearly done painting for what you should add.

"Do you consider them your parents?" Your neck couldn't have snapped up faster when Yamamoto asked. You coughed awkwardly for a second then looked down. She could see you think about it. Really genuinely think about it.

"That's a big question huh.. I guess I do.. they fill that role better than my biological ones.. James taught me how to read. My father used my picture books to roll blunts.." you were trying to joke but she could tell by your eyes the way they contracted into something almost indescribable to a feeling only felt not discussed as you thought of James and Hana.

Yamamoto decided it was an answer she would learn on another day, deciding to change the subject"Do you live with them now?"

"no I don't.. They helped me find a house they had sat me down after and explained everything to me what everything ment and what my options were going forward. Since I'm going to be 18 soon we decided it'd be best for me to be on my own... They're my neighbors though they live right across from me in my complex... It's like two mini houses that sit across from each other in an enclosed area. So I'm basically living with them on my own, you know?" Each word you said seemed to dig yourself further into question as you thought about the couple that seemed to never not support you. Why

"Do you like living by yourself?" Yamamoto watched your growing thoughts form as she noticed you became more expressive as each session and week went on.

"...it's very quiet. I don't know, it's strange.. Either way if I get lonely I can just head into their house.. " Yamamoto could tell you were done, you said everything you needed to you were completely done, lost in your thoughts. As you were many times since you started seeing her.

"oh it looks like that's up for today." Yamamoto leisurely got up as she smiled lightly at you.

"Already?" You were only slightly jarred from your forming thoughts as she nodded.

Yamamoto smiled,"yes same time next week?" You nodded blindly, zipping up your coat. Only to stop abruptly.

"actually. I um I'll have to come by later I start school next week." You say resignation forming in your entire body as another thought piled onto your mountain of other thoughts.

"Alright why don't you come by after school Thursday?" Yamamoto remedied your thoughts on when your next appointment should be

You nodded as you walked out the door, "see you then" you muttered head down as Yamamoto closed the door, moving your painting to the window to dry for you to collect next time. It wasn't half bad she mused as she cleaned the mess.

You were hardly past the fences that guarded Yamamoto's office door when you bumped into someone. Knocked out of your thoughts. Alarm filled you. You needed to pay attention.

"Oh excuse me.." you took in the girl. She had familiar golden eyes black hair, and greyish white streak- she was bokuto's sister...you saw her. You saw most but not all of her. Is she okay? Why was she going to Yamamoto?

The older girl fidgeted in front of you with a hand on the back of her neck. "Hey.. um are you Y/n L/n?"

You nearly gasped "..yes I am. How do you know my name.." did she know about you and her brother? Did he see you? You didn't feel the other mark form. Could it have happened without you knowing? But when the first one came you felt it...it was a feeling you'd never forget.

"Oh! I'm Himari Bokuto.. Do you know a Kenji Ito?" You're own thoughts completely disappeared, demeanor changing instantaneously as your eyes scrunched in suspicion.

"... Why" you bit out. Only to stop when you noticed her slight flinch. Were you that scary?

"He's my soulmate." Oh.

"Ha."

-----

Part 3

Hope you guys liked it! This one was kinda fun it's a build up chapter :) but anyway

Have an amazing day!!

[funtimefloof]

Helping (T)eddie Bear

Eddie Munson x plussize!fem!Reader

a/n: I'm currenly on my period and I wanna pass away, the last time it was this painful was 2020 :') I felt the need to write about Eddie taking care of reader during her menstruation. I needed some Eddie comfort. (I'll apologize if he seems a little oc, I tried my best) This is kinda self indulgent, that's why plussize :P

Warnings: tiny blood stain, menstruation, period cramps of agony, lots of fluff and maybe a little cheesy......I got carried away

Wc: 1.7k

!Not proofread!

Agony is one way to describe how I felt, the other way I'd describe it would be that Michael Myers went completely havoc in my uterus.

I shot up from my pillow, my eyes ripped open, before I squeezed them close again, feeling the dreadful feeling in my lower stomach.

That could only mean one thing. As fast as I could I stood up and hurried to the bathroom and just like expected; I got my period.

As sight of frustration left my dry lips. I cleaned myself up and went back to my bedroom, hoping the mess on my bed wouldn't be too serious. Thank fuck, it only was a little stain which would wash out easily.

So I pulled off the mattress cover, went to my bathroom to wash the stain first, before I threw it into the washing machine.

The second I got to my bedroom again, a harsh pain snapped through my lower body, causing me to almost fall as my knees felt like jelly.

Regaining my strength I made my way to the kitchen and went over to the telephone on the wall, before dialing the number. I was out of painkillers, so the only thing that came to mind, was to call him.

It rang and rang, but nobody picked up. Sighting, I hung up the telephone and was already on my way back to my room, before the clear ringing tone of the telephone caugh me off guard. I shuffled over, grabed it and immediately heard the groggy, sleepy voice of the person I adore the most.

"Hey, is everything alright, my love? You're usually not awake this late at night. " He sounded tired, which made me start to feel bad. "Hi, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you...." My voice wavered a little as a small tear went down my cheek. He seemed to notice that my voice was off somehow "God, baby no, you didn't wake me, I already woke up a few minutes ago, to go take a piss."

I could hear right through his lie, but decided to not question it any further, cause I didn't want it to end up in a discussion.

He broke the silence again, noticing that I stayed quiet as he just heard almost inaudible sniffs coming from the other line "What's wrong, love? Are you alright?" the concern in his voice was evident, so I quickly replied "Can you please come over? I need you right now."

Hearing the desperation in my trembling voice, he replied without hesitation "I'll be there in 3, love." As fast as he answered, the loud beep on the other line, singalised that he hung up right after, so I did the same.

Leaning against the wall next to it, I took a sharp intake of air, before small whimpers and cries left my throat as tiny tears went past my eyes. The pain was so uncomfortable and highly unnecessary at this time of night, I thought.

Not even 3 minutes passed and a few rushed knocks were heard at the front door of my trailer. Leaving my spot on the wall, I went over and opened the door, meeting the eyes of my favourite person.

As soon as he saw my tear stained face his gaze softened a little. He stepped into the trailer, closed the door behind him and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him.

"It hurts so bad, Eds." my voice was muffled due to me being snuggled tightly in Eddie's embrace. Softly stoking my head he let out a small humm, before backing away a tiny bit and leaving a loving kiss on my forehead.

Having already figured out the cause of my pain, he let his hands start to wander and before he had to chance to try and lift me, I stopped him in his tracks "Don't."

"Why, what's the matter?" The stroking motions of his hands on my arms made me melt down into his embrace once again as the cold metal on his fingers gave me a weird but calming feeling. What did I do to deserve this man? He's always such an angel to me.

"I'm to heavy...." As soon as those words left my mouth, he cupped my cheeks with his ring adorned hands and looked deep into my glassy eyes. His expression showed confusion, but at the same time his beautiful brown button like eyes radiated warmth, comfort and reassurance.

"My love-" He took a deep breath, while caressing my face, wiping the new coming tears away "I don't want to hear you talk down on yourself, ever again." He started to leave butterfly kisses on every inch of my face "You, my love, are the most precious creature I've ever laid my eyes on. The only things supposed to leave those pretty lips of yours are, only positive things about yourself and the sounds of pleasure that I get out of you, alright?"

I suppose he tried to brighten my mood with the last statement, which he definitely succeeded with as a quiet giggle left me right after. Sneaky Fox.

Without a warning he picked me up bridal style, which caused me to squeak as I felt my feet lift up from the floor, before he carried me towards my bedroom.

Gently he eased me onto the bed, quickly threw off his leather jacket and his shoes, before climbing in next to me.

My arms sneaked around his torso, while I slowly tried to hook one of my legs around his, trying not to put too much weight on him at once, but he just grabbed my thigh like it was nothing and hiked it up. Once again I snuggled my head into his chest and took a whiff of his scent. My quiet humming vibrated against his chest, while he was lovingly stroking my head again.

I could still feel my insides being ripped apart, but I tried to keep my emotions down, because I wanted to enjoy this moment with him, being held in his arms. We stayed like this for a little while, just existing in this moment together as two people who were so undoubtedly in love with each other.

Sooner or later the pain has gotten to a point where I just couldn't keep quiet anymore, so I just hoped that Eddie couldn't hear my silent whimpers of agony. Despite my fragile attempts, he noticed "Baby, if there's anything you need, just talk to me. I'm right here. Let me know if there is anything you want me to help with."

I silently started crying again, before I broke the silence "Christ, I'm such a sensitive bitch, crying over the littlest things. And you? You're such an angel, so calm and reassuring. Do you have any idea how much my heart hurts just knowing you're the most perfect human that I could've ever asked for in my life?" before I could continue with my rant he interrupted me with a small kiss.

"Love, as much as I love you throwing compliments at me, periods make you sappy. You know, I'm far from perfect. You on the other side? The best and most perfect person." His comment made me look at him with puppy dog eyes before I tightened my arms around him and started to cuddle the hell out of him.

"You are my personal Teddie bear, you know that?" He just chuckled at my statement, before slowly removing his arms around me and smirking down at me.

With a last peck to my cheek he shot out of bed and left the room. Since it was just getting comfortable I was confused for a second, till he returned some minutes later with a cup of chocky milk (cause chocky milk makes pain go away, yk?) and a glass of water.

After he set the things on the bedside table, he crawled onto the bed again, but this time instead of taking his place next to me, he placed himself at the bottom part of the bed, before slowly starting to lift my legs. I was curious about his actions, so I let him continue. He then shimmied closer, with his knees on the mattress, before he laid my thighs on top of his.

With eyes full of love and adoration Eddie glanced at me, his hands on my hips, as if he was asking for permission to continue. I couldn't deny his sweet face, so I gave in.

He started lifting up the v neck sweater I was wearing, but stopped halfway. The soft touch of his hands ghosted over my belly, while the cold metal of his rings gave me slight shivers.

Not even a minute later, he was using a little more pressure as his hands went a tiny bit lower. In return of his actions he got to hear a relieved sigh. Suddenly his hands switched positions from my torso to my thighs. He kept on kneading them in nice circular motions, before he switched back to massage my lower stomach.

From time to time he switched between those two areas, sometimes leaning over and leaving soft butterfly kisses on my collarbones and my cleavage.

During the time he was handling my body with utmost care I was able to drink my choky milk. Sometimes I'd hiss if he went a little to deep, but as soon as he'd notice he would go softer again.

In the middle of the procedure he began to hum along to my favourite song which, along with the massage I was getting from him, made me really sleepy.

The only thing I could remember before falling asleep is Eddie leaving a loving kiss on my lips "Good night, baby. I love you"

I don't know how much time passed, when I opened my eyes again, but it was still dark outside. Eddie laid next to me, snoring slightly with the moon illuminating his face and I couldn't help but to admire him. I lightly touched the side of his face, hoping he wouldn't wake up "I love you too"

A small smile graced my features before I cuddled myself into him and fell asleep with the help of his breath's calm movement. Two hearts beating as one.

(small nsfw extra)

Imagine Eddie massaging your thighs and your tummy, while fucking into you with a nice rhythm, during your period, because he heard somewhere, that it helps with period cramps ;) (Steve told him)

(not @ me finishing this, on the last day of my period lol. writing takes forever).

Please if you noticed any mistakes, make sure to let me know, so I can change it. ^^

[bingebuddie]

Status Update: August 2024

Hi all,

Life has been crazy, and it has been a while since I have updated my writing journey.

I know it seems like I have been MIA, but as some point, I'm going to start uploading stuff and boom, you will be overwhelmed with content.

I got myself into a situation where I had too many projects in flight. As you will see below, I still do. I have stopped publishing anything new, (unless its complete) until I catch myself up.

Recently, I have started to push something's to the side and streamline my focus. I'm not fighting my muse, whatever she wants to work on is what I am working on.

Wit that said, lets share an update on the projects I have been working on.

From The Ashes –

Wes and Cole's novel is really coming along. I can’t wait to finish it! Then I need to figure out how to publish it...

Sideways

Act 6 Into the Unknown

This arc has both been a love affair and a nightmare.

It is the longest part of the story to date. Updates have been slow because I refuse to push out something until I am happy with it.

I need to nail a lot of details for this work the way I want it to.

6.5 deals with the hearing with the LAFD and is the longest single chapter in the entire series thus far. Although this chapter is complete, I still feel it is messy and too long. I have thought about breaking it into smaller chapters that would be easier to read. But at the same time, I want that part of the story over with and done. I am working on editing out some things to make it easier to read and flow better.

6.6 is done, dusted, and ready to roll. Welcome to NY!!!

6.7 is my baby. It is my favorite part of the story to date. I made myself cry. I love you, Wes! The final draft is done… just checking dates and ensuring things work how they are supposed to.

6.8-6.12 There is a lot of fun and fluff for our crew while they are on the cruise until the shit hits the fan.

6.8 Final Draft

6.9 Final Draft

6.10 is another chapter that I am excited about. But again, there are a lot of details I need to make sure work the right way.

6.11 Fluff until the shit show …

6.12 Shit show… and home to LA… before the cliffhanger that sets up Act 7. Again, the cliffhanger does not center around our boys.

Act 7 Strong

I have said this before: This arc is emotionally heavy for Eddie. Eddie will need his friends and family like never before. There are a few people who shine as support for Eddie in this Arc… Buck, Wes, Maddie, and Tyler… (insert evil smile) This chapter is inspired by Strong by Romy and Fred Again  

In my mind, Buck is signing that to Eddie….

The outline for this is eight chapters… but that might go up… I have been working on part of this, and I have been working on smaller chapters to move faster… smaller chapters mean more total chapters but faster output…

Arc 8 Genesis …

Now for my other works…

Technical Foul -

In an effort to start to get past some of the awkwardness between them since the cemetery, Eddie invites Buck to the park with him and Christopher. A little basketball, some flirting, and an ill-timed visit from someone from the 118's past makes Buck's green start to show. Accidents happen, and Buck has some explaining to do.

Double Cross -

This fic is purely self-indulgent... Inspired by the video of Ryan sparing with one hand behind his back I had an idea of how that lead to Eddie telling Buck he could kick his ass with one arm tied behind his back and this was born. Fun, teasing, banter...

Shifted Part 1

Nevermore -

After the full moon reveals there is more to this world than some of them knew, the 118 face challenges they never saw coming. From lightning to Werewolves and all manner of things in between. Long-held secrets will come to light that could make or break one of the core relationships of the 118, that of Buck and Eddie. Is their friendship strong enough to survive? Will their relationship fall apart, or will they finally come together? The bonds and friendships of the 118 are about to be tested like never before. Can they put aside their differences and come together as a team and family, or will they fall victim to the mysterious being that is plaguing the streets of New York and eating the souls of their victims?

Chapter 1-20 posted. 21-30 coming soon. From a writing perspective, this is done… beta, editing all done. and I'm finally happy with it. I will post this after the summer is over. I have a solid idea for the sequel…

Would You Mind -

A four-day trip road trip to Vegas to celebrate Maddie and Chim's Bachelor and Bachelorette parties will alter Buck and Eddie's relationship for the rest of their lives. Featuring Drinking games, dancing, stripping, lap dances, couples' massages, poker games, and the highest stakes for our boys, their hearts…

Chapters 1-3 are posted, and the final chapter is done… Wedding in Vegas and drag brunch! Will get this uploaded sooner than later.

Like I said… Lap-dancing Eddie will return … In Sideways … Arc 7

I Don’t Want To Be Your Friend -

Eddie tries to figure out what is going on with Buck after the disastrous basketball game, while Buck tries to work through his feelings after Tommy kissed him. Both Buck and Eddie have some soul-searching to do to come to terms with their feelings once and for all.

I really want to get back to finishing this. I have it mostly completed, but I haven’t focused on it at all.

For more one shots of mine, you can go here.

WIPS

Future Shock

3 Part Series - Magic/BAMF/Mayhem/Found Family/Soul Mates/Redux/Ryan throw's the timeline into a blender and tada...

I have a lot of this plotted out… some chapters are written…, but I'm struggling to figure out what comes first. Do I show the future and then go back to the past and what led to it, or do I start in the past and then do the time jump…

As It Is

2030 and the 118 have been fractured since the lawsuit. When members of the team start to be picked off one by one, Hen, Chim, and Bobby have no one to turn to until friends and family return in their most desperate hour.

As It Was

Details what led to the fracturing of the 118. It is a retelling of Season 2 and part of Season 3.

As It Was Always Meant To Be

Now reunited, will the 118 be able to rally around each other, or will their painful past be too much to overcome?

This will be very large… I am unsure when I'll finish, but I have been spending time on it when I need a break from the other works.

DDD, aka Devastated and Destroyed Diaz…

This is my season 7 fix it …

I want to have this done before the fall premiere…

Part 1: With Every Heartbeat—

Eddie POV … Four simple words shatter Eddie's world. Eddie spirals after Buck comes out to him when the future he was sure he could never have suddenly become a possibility. 60% complete

Part 2 Stargazing –

Buck POV… Eddie’s gone… Well, he’s not gone; he’s taking some time to himself after Christopher flees to El Paso. Buck… he’s not dealing with it well… Harsh words are exchanged, and Buck and Eddie’s lives are changed forever. 70% complete

Part 3 Something To Hold On To –

Buck and Eddie POV’s … In the aftermath of a life-changing event, Buck and Eddie struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives… if only they had something to hold on to… each other.  Outlined

Five By Five -

Buck and Eddie have been through a lot over the years. What if there was more to their relationship than anyone else knew about. AKA how Buck and Eddie fell into each other's arms after each trauma.

Relationship Goals—

In an effort to rebuild their friendship after their recent relationships crash and burn, Buck and Eddie join a local hockey team along with some of Buck's old seal friends. This was pure fan service to myself and a way to get Buck, Eddie, Wes, and Cole to play hockey and not have to do it on Sideways. This currently sits around 60 pages.

Stolen -

A stolen kiss changes everything between Buck and Eddie... This angst fest is somehow incredibly soft... This is about 35 pages right now...

The Ties That Bind - Buck breakdown fic... This might get scrapped and merged into DDD from above...  Scrapped and merged into DDD

All I Want for Christmas—

Think Scrooged vs. It's a Wonderful Life vs. 911. This will not be posted until after the holidays.

There is also the Quarter Inch Killer fic and the Eddie Dexter fic. floating around in my mind...

Talk soon!