#made me smile on a down day!!!
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Sub Bucky and a breeding kink 💀 dead unlived it's one of my favourite things 😌
This is pretty high up there on my list of dream fantasies 🥵 these are two of my biggest weaknesses, don't even look at me rn
One of life's greatest joys is cuddling with the other person's head resting on your chest so you can play with their hair and rub their shoulders. I love that shit, having someone else's body weight on you is so comforting.
I imagine that's something Bucky would really enjoy too. It's so soft and sweet and tender and getting to feel cared for would really appeal to him.
But that's up until his hands work their way under your top, up over your bare skin so he's able to cup your breasts and bury his face between them while he's getting his hair played with. Life's pleasures don't get much simpler than that.
After a few moments he shifts slightly, tugging the neckline of your shirt out of the way to give himself space to kiss and nip your skin. All of a sudden he's desperate and it's beautiful to watch.
"Please." He whispers between frantic kisses, flicking his tongue over the stiff peak of your nipple before engulfing it with his warm, eager mouth.
"Please, what?" You tease, tugging on his hair just a little for emphasis.
He groans, frustrated by his own lack of coherence, pulling his mouth from your nipple. "Please let me put a baby in you."
That's not what you were expecting but fuck, he makes it sound pretty appealing.
"Bucky-" You begin but he cuts you off, giving your other nipple the same attention as he gave the first. God, that's distracting.
"You'd make. Such. A pretty. Mommy." He whispers, kissing his way down your body until he reaches the bottom seam of your top. From there, he pulls it off, letting it fall to the floor before removing the rest of your clothes.
"You'd look so pretty with a little baby bump." His huge hand rests on your bare tummy, imaging how your body would change.
"I want it, Buck." You mean it too. It doesn't sound like such a bad idea when he's taking his clothes off.
"I know you want it." He groans, rubbing the tip of his dick against your soaked core. "Y-you're so wet."
He presses his hips forward, sliding inside you and you can't explain it but you swear it feels different this time.
"Don't even think about pulling out." You cup his face in your hands, keeping his eyes on you and you almost worry he's going to fuck himself senseless into you. "I want you to make me a mommy. You're going to give me every single drop of cum and when it starts to drip out of me, you're going to fuck it back in."
His head falls onto your shoulder, sobbing a pathetic moan against your already hot skin. The pace of his thrusts matches his need, his hips slamming into yours and when he finally gives in, he cums inside you with your legs clamped around his waist, making sure he couldn't pull out even if he wanted to.
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#anon#sub!bucky#subby bucky#this is one of those fantasies that's nice in my head#I think I'd like to be at that point in my life but it's absolutely not where I'm at rn#maybe some day tho#I started writing a new series yesterday#making a lil moodboard#excited to post the concept#can't decide if I want each chapter to feel like a continuation of the one before#or if I want the chapters to be more detached from each other with time passing in between#might actually space it out over a weekend?#I took my lil granny out for lunch today and she's just the cutest#she usually comes up to ours for Sunday lunch but my parents were out this weekend#so I made her dinner last night and took it down to her and I asked if she wanted to go out for Sunday lunch for a change#she made me book the table right there in front of her so she'd be able to look forward to it 🥺#I sat with her for over an hour yesterday evening and she smiled nearly the whole time#she's too cute I swear
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sry for disappearing the depression got me (it will happen again) here's some thoughts from my head
#these look awful but i wanted to draw today#tried to use it to calm me down and i'm not super happy w the outcome but i'm glad i drew either way#maybe i'll redraw this idea better some day idk#for now i'll let it rot in my drafts jic LOL#i don't want to tag this rlly but i will ... i will#also the smiling onje i saw a video of him smiling/laughing at a joke andim abt to start my period and it made me BAWL#like unitonically i started crying so jard he's so cute#i can't take this anymote i need to draw him smiling more because he's so cute]#he literally just bares his fangs . he snarls and calls it a smile ouuuhhhhh can anyone hear me i neeed to draw this and prove my point#anyway i have a date so k should be leaving now#bye ily guys#places this here gently like a cat leaving a dead bird at ur doorstep#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#javier escuella#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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do you think ingellvar -- raised by well-meaning but largely clueless about child development academics -- probably has a decent shot at understanding taash' position better than they maybe realize
#:') i love the grand necropolis but every time I go there I'm like '...and you're telling me they raised a whole child down here'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#taash#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#I think rye met shathann ONCE and went 'ah alright. I see'. not unsympathetically but some Things came rushing back to him lol#rye would NEVER get in a screaming match with any of the people who raised him I don't think but then they're more in the myrna vein#than the shathann one by and large. when teen rye made snide comments before he could stop himself they just. stared#and waited for him to cringe and apologize on his own lol#likewise I think taash came to the grand necropolis with the team and actually listened to some of the watchers#talking amongst themselves. they turned to rye and went '...these are your folks?' (slightly too bright rye smile: 'yup!')#solemn taash voice 'ah alright. I see'#taash and rye's relationship truly is a matter of 'sometimes you feel like a mirror reflecting my younger self#and I realize I'm not handling it very well because some days I still can't quite look directly at my reflection. I'm extremely sorry'#(rye is always apologizing for something here he goes again :') he's working on it. lucanis helps)
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collecting images of lu guang's smile from this season like they're precious gemstones
#the end of e7 made me scream#was literally shaking from how exciting that lg moment was holy shit#big day for lu guang fans#that shot of him looking down at cxs lives rent free in my head now#his tiny smiles are what's getting me through all the emotional distress that this season is causing me lmao#also the fight choreography in this ep?! actually unreal. so fucking good#i am heartbroken about wang juan tho :(((#link click#link click spoilers#link click s2#link click season 2#lu guang#sgdlr#shi guang dai li ren#shiguang daili ren#time agents#時光代理人
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I don't have any cohesive or clever commentary, I just hate it here.
#storyrambles#something something wolfwood shows his care by sharing food and vash shows it by sharing the little moments#something something tied to rem and the moment vash decided to consciously try seeing the best in the world and people again#something something wolfwood says 'i want you to live and be happy' by sharing food and looking for a real smile#and vash says 'i will try living when this is done. look at all the things that made me smile. do they make you smile too?'#and then. and then.#there is no way he's going to handle this well.#vash sees something beautiful in the world around him but cannot show it to rem#now he will start a new tomorrow each day but cannot share it with wolfwood#anyways. 🫠#trigun#trimax#trigunbookclub#rem saverem#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#<-sure. because i kinda ship it now. actually i really do. fuck.#shut up they're sweet and they make me want to lie face down on the floor and chew rocks
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Happy birthday to the stinky idiot !!
ver. without text under the cut:
#tokyo ghoul#tg#kaneki ken#ken kaneki#uh yeah bad news#exam week + the wifi at my house is down this week out of nowhere?? so i can't really post#but i managed to bust this out at least since i didn't wanna miss the silly day :))#i'm not sure what really happened tbh?? originally the plan was happy kuroneki just smiling and being happy it was his birthday :)#and then uh. then it turned into shironeki. and now he looks a little more Unhinged (wow it's just like canon)#but that's okay he deserves it i think. as a Treat#also don't ask me how i managed to color like that i think i got possessed mid-drawing and it made me pop off???#i am Never going to be able to recreate this orz#anyway happy birthday neki !!! you are a little bastard /affectionate
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🍂 Halloween in Boston 🍂
#wore the animal pjs from my birthday that one year#got lots of smiles#and some vintage film pics taken even ended up on her Instagram#gay girls unite#also made me miss film so much have to get back to that#such a different vibe than digital and I miss and fucking love it#they hunted down all the ginkgos for me because my fave#I even had my little ginkgo necklace on#saw some cool costumes and just the vibe is so nice in there#one of my favorite Halloweens ever was when I lived in the south end#I never have Halloween off and it was the most gorgeous weather#actually have had the best last two days#have so many pics from Wednesday to edit too#I thrive in this weather and it looks like next days off are nice too so far#thanks for looking out girl#mine#boston#autumn#halloween#that orange
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oh freckle, freckle⠁.. what makes you so s p e c i a l?
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH#IM SORRY THIS SONG DOES SO MANY BAD THINGS TO ME#other than the metal style cover / weezers sweet dreams r made of these / poppunk dancing queen this is THERMBADBIHTHEMESONG#THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS IS THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SONG BITCH#like OH FRECKLE FRECKLE WHAT MAKES U SO SPECIAL#HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO#MY HEARTS IN HEAVEN MY SOLES ARE HEEEEEELLLLL LETS ME IN THE PURAGATORY OF MY HIPPPPPPPPPPPPPS#AND GET WELL ;)))))))#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HYYYYYYYHHHH BITCH#I KNOW THIS WAS A SPICY GREENHOUSE MAKEOUT SONG I AM SCREAMING VERY LOUD IN MY HEAD RN#*jerseykyle vc* i'm gonna ( leave you ) I'm Gonna TEACH you#HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL NOOOOOO#IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII KNOOOOOOOOOOOO IT WAS GOING *NEW PERSPECTIVE VC* DOOOOOOOOWN DOWN DOooOOWWN#ALSO WAITER ARTIST MODEL SINGER IS LITERALLY CDS WHOLE EXPERIENCE TRYING TO MAKE IT IN THE BUSINESS#SPECIFICALLY RAVENSTAN GOING FROM WAITERING AT CHEFS RESTURANT TO COCKTAIL WAITERING AT RUFFIANS#MAKING MUSIC ON THE SIDE AND BASICALLY BEING A SOLD OUT TO THAT WHOLE CLUB AND BEING PUNK ROCK#~SUPERMODELITBOY~ AND ET TENS WHOLE BRAND AND HIS LIL PLAYTHING AND BEING A SINGER BUT...GOD...WAS IT WORTH IT????? WAS. IT. WORTH. IT.#DONT TALK TO ME HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC MAKES ME MISERABLE HE JUST WANTED TO SING#AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! YOURE RAVEN YOURE NO ONES DAUGHTER MIDNIGHT SUN BUT YOUR WINGS ARE STILL CLIPPED; YOU CANT FLY#YOU SING BUT IT FALLS ON DEAF EARS! COVER BOY ON THE PAGE! A PACIFIST AND ALL THE RAGE!! ALL THE WORLDS A STAGE#BUT GOLD OR NOT; AT THE END OF THE DAY ITS JUST A CAGE PRETTY BIRD - AND YOU BUILT IT YOURSELF BABY!!! YOU! BUILT! IT! YOURSELF! BARS BItcH#thats my son My Son mY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON it also has such a sexcC nitelub jerseykyle back beat hEEEEELLLO#i could talk about this for such a long time i LOVE this song#*jk having going crazy but divine intervention on his bathroom floor after a bad stan episode and ed episode head on toliet vc*#MAMA? IF WE DONT TAKE THE MEDICATION...WE WONT SLEEP FOR DAYS? MAMA...IF WE PRAY TO THE LORD#DOES HE SING ON STAGE?????? oOOOOOOOOOOUGH IM SICK AND I KNOW HES SEEING STARS AND SMILES AND PRETTY EYES AND UGLY LAUGHES#AND A BOY HE HASNT SEEN IN YEARS BUT HE SEES EVERYDAY OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH IM SICK#I WANT TO BE GOLDEN IN YOUR MEMORY!!!!!!!! SIIIIIIIICK!!! SICK AND FUCKING TWISTED!!!!! SHUT UP AAAAAaAAAAaA#IM IN HELL jk swirling his drink trying to look uninterested *after party fb vc* watching rstan work the room like#oh freckle freckle what makes You so special? and then raven waves and winks at him and trips bc hes an idiot and jk is like AAAAAA SIIIIIC
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sometimes i'm like. am i actually a narcissist? just for a moment. then i remember that from the ages of like 12-19 i eschewed all other photographs or more normal forms of decoration to keep a framed photo of myself on either my desk or my bedside table where i could look at it constantly. cuz i thought i looked cute and confident and no it did not occur to me i might like to have a photo of like, a family member or some cool trees or something i just took like 7 years to go huh wait other people don't keep a photograph of themselves on their desks? what do you do when you want to look at yourself go all the way to a mirror??? anyway it wasn't realizing this was unusual that made me stop the photo just got water damage
#rip it genuinely made me so happy bc it was like 10-y-oldish me lounging upside down in a chair#with my hands behind my head just smiling the hugest most smug smile#everything Went Wrong when i was 8 or 9 so maybe i was younger when it was taken? or i was just on an upswing/good day#but tinyme exuded so much confidence in that photo it acted like a coping mechanism trigger object#id look at it and just go 'hell YEAH we're crushing it'. (reader i was not crushing it ever)#anyway just thought of this bc i was thinking abt the shit therapist i saw once b4 i got a better one recently#where i shared i 'found it useful to use npd as a framework to help me manage' i.e 'i self-dxed and i'm right but i'm gonna act#like i could be wrong. also all dxes are bullshit to some degree'#and then like. 5 min later i was explaining some of the things i've already worked on and what i wanted to#and my general mental profile blah blah. and she was like 'um... wow you think a lot about yourself!' and i literally just.#looked at her and then pointed to myself and said 'i mean#narcissism...'#anyway she got fired or smth and the guy i have now is chill. this can count as a life update ig#sunflower radio hour#vic talks#my arms are killing me i should not have typed........... Hubris.
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i just think that steddie is the furthest from those couples who joke about hating each other. they've both been through too much and had been given too little love for what they need (and deserve). someone talks like marriage, huh? end of your freedom and life? and steddie just go straight faced, no. no i love my husband why would you say that.
they're one of those couples where you think they must be faking it, because you can't possibly wake up every day this happy and love your husband more? but they're really that. waking up earlier just so they can spend time together before work. getting each other flowers and gifts for no reason other than "i just thought about you" or "just wanted to make you smile". when one of them is out and he's like. i have to go home because i miss my husband too much now. just genuinely wanting to be around each other all the time. even during the worst arguments, there's never a doubt they're not still completely head over heels. they're It. and they can't even bring themselves to joke about ever feeling anything different. they sure tease each other a lot about everything but this? this is the one thing they're too scared to joke about
Logging on to see this and I am nodding aggressively. They are BESOTTED with each other. They are DISGUSTINGLY in love. They make other people YEARN for silly love songs they make come true. I, for one, am furious
#anon#anon my friend this made me smile and go fluffed up like a baby penguin#you got the silly love DOWN#like it’s just so evident to both of them that they are The Person#why would they ever joke about not being happy? it would never land#one look and nobody would buy it#MWAH MWAH KITH TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL MIND#also thank you for gracing my inbox#I love hearing headcanons and opinions and this is a 10/10 excellent one#hope you had a good day!!!
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Me sneaking into your asks with this drabble:
Disclaimer: I have yet to get a good grasp of Moze's character so this might be a bit OOC and on your side as well (sorry). I did my best. Also, this was inspired by the post you made abt telling Moze your tasks for the day | 600+ words (not proofread)
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In Moze's eyes, you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies.
You were quite literally everywhere. He'd find you talking to someone one moment before you're rushing off to do something else entirely the next. It seemed like you had quite a lot on your plate as of recently. Tasks, things you wanted to do, and so much more spinning around that mind of yours. You've told him a bit of your plans so he has a general idea. But seeing you juggling all of those tasks at once makes both admiration and concern bloom in his chest.
One time, Moze found you carrying a box filled with items. It would've been amusing to him how comical it was that the items piled so high— he could barely see you behind it. However, he did worry right after given how you almost tripped over something. He managed to catch you and the items before both came crashing all over the floor.
He insisted on helping you carry the items to wherever its destination was. It took a bit of pursuasion on his side. Convincing you that it truly wasn't a bother to him at all, and that he'd be very much glad to be of assistance to you.
"I need to get these delivered first. Then go stop by the shop to buy some things. After that…" You go on to ramble about the things you had to do to help get a better vision on what else you had to do. "Oh, no… I messed up." The smile on your face dropping at the thought that had slipped your mind until that moment. "I forgot to invite Jiaoqiu to dinner with the others—"
"It's tomorrow evening, right? He knows. I mentioned it last time when I spoke to him." Moze says with a calm tone.
You blink at him, slightly caught off-guard by the man beside you. Though it's immediately replaced with relief and gratitude. The smile on your face already back, lighting up your features once more. Infectious as always, it makes the corners of his lips tug upwards as well. A small part of him feels quite proud to have been able to help you ease your worries even by a bit.
And this is when you start noticing it.
Did you mention that you're running out of a certain skincare product, but you can't find the time to stop by the store to buy it? Moze conveniently has to stop by near the store and buys it for you. Did you also mention that you wanted to do a certain task but keep forgetting about it? He gently reminds you about it via message or verbal if he's nearby. Did you also happen to mention that you've been meaning to try out a certain desert from a cafe, but the schedule simply doesn't seem to allow you? No fear, he passes by the store to buy you the treat.
Moze doesn't see you as someone incapable of handling things by yourself. To him, he simply sees it as a way to show his care. If making a quick stop somewhere, sending you a small reminder of something you had to do that day, or even helping you out with the tasks you need to accomplish, makes you smile? Gives you a chance to take a break? Let you worry less about the things you need to do? It's worth it in his eyes.
He does his best to avoid making you feel like you're bothering or troubling him (you really aren't). Most of the time, he does them discrcetly and casually. Partially, since he's also scared that you'll think he's weird or a creep for acting like that.
Please don't think of him badly.
Moze truly means well.
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 cy!#彡 inbox.#彡 cherishing.#excuse me cy 🥹🥹🥹 you wrote a drabble based off a vague little post i made about moze 🥺🥺 HOW WILL I EVER THANK YOU 🥺🥺 that is so sweet ?! ?!#600+ words ?!?! CY !!!!!! THANK YOU ?!?????!!!!!! IM IN SHOCK /pos IM STARING AT MY SCREEN LIKE 🥹🥹🥹🥹 YOURE SO KIND YOURE SO SO SO KIND !!!!#‘you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies’ HANSNDJDN i want to be his dog 🙂↕️🙂↕️ and !! i have to say — the energy rush a#him is so real T T HE IS JUST SO FUN HES SO SWEET HES so awesome he’s so lovable — zoomies is inevitable with mr shadow guard of the yaoqin#im smiling so hard at the ‘you were quite literally everywhere’ AAAAAEEEE there is much to explore !!! THIS IS SO CUTE THOUGH IM SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#THE CARRYING THE BOX SCENE ?!???!???? this reminds me of one of previous jobs i had ajanskdkxk YOU DONT REALLY NEED TO SEE . YOU CAN PEER#AROUND THE BOX — BUT MOZE SEEING ME IN SUCH A STATE IS SO EMBARRASSING/pos omg he caught me x0x IM BRIGHT RED AT THIS THOUGHT SHSNJDCJ also#cy !!! i will say that i love your writing and you put down your thoughts ….. this is such a cute read and my heart is so soft reading this#truly truly thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to write something as sweet as this for me ?!?! i am so blown away and so#thankful AND SO EMOTIONAL AND SO HAPPY oh )))): thank you thank you thank you thank you cy!!!! i adore you infinitely 🥹🥹🥹🤍🤍🤍#NOOOOO HE DOESNT NEED TO HELP ME CARRY IT ALL THE WAY THERE 🥹🥹🥹 SURELY SUCH A THING IS NOT IN HIS JOB DESCRIPTION#even if it was i would feel bad !!! T T oh my god please cy this image of him insistently that he’ll help is making me so red /pos he’s so#sweet ))): OH MY GOD AND THE RAMBLING SJSNSNDKXKKS IM REALLY SO RED AND FLUSTERED READING FHIS SKNSNDNX HES LISTENING TO IT 😭😭😭 HE IS#PERCEIVING ME 😭😭😭😭 but i do think my nervous chatter would activate in his presence — oh cy that would be so awful — to talk and talk and#talk his ear off :’) OMG OMG HE ALREADY TOLD JIAOQIU 😭😭😭 SAVIOR MOZE life saver moze i am indebted !!! TWICE NOW . THE BOX AND NOW THIS#him feeling proud ?! 🥹🥹 there is much more for him to feel proud about ! for example — how resilient he is / how strong he is / how kind he#is / how … i should not continue HIM KNOWING WHAT SKINCARE PRODUCTS I USE ????????? AND CHECKING WHEN IT RUNS LOW ??? ))))))): AND THE REMI#REMINDERS * MEAN SO MUCH TO ME OH CY ))): YOU ARE TOO TOO TOO KIND IM SO HONORED TO HAVE RECEIVED SUCH A GIFT insjdjxnj ))): cy !!!!!!!!!!#THE DESSERT …. I LOVE CINNAMON OR LEMON DESSERTS …… oh he is ))): he is too kind )): YOU!! ARE TOO KIND CY !!!!!! I WILL SOB INTO MY HANDS#BECAUSE THIS IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY AND )))): !!!! omg ))):#HE IS SO SWEET . HE MEANS WELL ???? I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU BOTH !!!!! i think i would genuinely burst into#tears thinking about him doing anything for me to :’) ease up some days :’) IM JUST :’) this is so thoughtful and so :’) im so incoherent a#and these tags are so messy — im just so happy and have read this like ten times over !! and go -> 🥹🥹 each and every time#thank you cy !!! ): from the very bottom of my heart!!!! you are such a skilled writer and you have such a kind heart#i saw your post about drabbles for friends and oh — im hugging you so tight — thank you for being so sweet to everyone ): i adore you so mu
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anyway i am absolutely in love with him and yes, Daddy, your hand most definitely is a toy
i wanna ride his fingers (*ノωノ) also also this man and his fucking Dad Jokes waaaaah he always makes me giggle :((
#sobbing sobbing sobbing#he’s so :((((( fucking DADDY#i���m rolling around on the floor kicking my little footies i cannot handle him i need his cock down my throat NOW#asap#it’s a NEED#doctors orders!!!!!!#wHEW#but also i’m having such a tough day today and this made me smile <3#inky.lad#clari plays love and deepspace
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Happy birthday Haengbok 🌞 To our eternal sunshine, our favourite human, our social butterfly with his eclectic array of hobbies, we hope you have the best day ever Lix because you mean so so much to us and you deserve good things 🫶 From you, I have learnt how to be patient and a good listener and I aspire to be more social and outgoing when talking to new people because of how easy yet emotionally rewarding you make it look. Felix is someone you can look at or hear for literally only a few seconds and you will find yourself smiling fondly or laughing along at his jokes because he is our happy pill 🤗 I pray your year ahead is full of happiness and fulfilment, love you so so so much Yongbok 🥰
#happy birthday yongbok 🌞#stray kids#lee felix#what a cutie man he's live right now and just hearing him makes you smile immediately#i remember one moment which has stuck with me but it was during exam season and i like distanced myself from socials etc to focus#and id only look at night just through my notifs and i saw a post someone made with a voice note lix had left on bubble and i was so#stressed that day cause of exams etc and just hearing that calmed me down so so much i dont know how he does it#it wasnt even anything he said he was just being his goofy lil self and it was enough to make me calm down and be happy again#yeah he's very special to me love you lix#loml
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Batman looking a little red there, isn't he @the-stove-is-divorced ? Must be a trick of the light
#BLUE WRECK FOCUS HERE#this is NOT the fanart#this is just me procrastinating my chem final#if i ever just make a fanart this shabby and messy after this long of a wait then it's not me#it's an imposter and it's your duty to track it down and kill it#it's made on a note app for fudge sake#anyway ive been havibg some Bruce brain rot ever since i started learning how to draw older men#he's all over my notebook#I'm blaming both you and him#he's so bbg#the actual fanart wont start being made until finals are done#which means a month before i even start#at least i have the idea for what im gonna draw ;))))#not spoiling it tho#also it wont be a high quality you're familiar with if what im planning to do will go through#hope u dont mind#ALSO STOP DISSECTING YOOJIN IN FRONT OF MY EYES#IM GETTING JEALOUS#WHY ARE YOU THAT GOOD AT DISSECTING CHARACTER PSCHE#AND WHY NOW WHEN FINAL IS OUT FOR MY BLOOD#(jk reading your thought about legit anything is always something to smile at during my breaks)#(it's my frog enrichment these days lol)#ALSO LOOK AT ME FINALLY LEARNING HOW TO DRAW MUSCLES#still a long way ahead but even baby steps are steps
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Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's sent me an ask or commented on one of my fics/posts or even sent me a message. It's been a hard few days that I expect will only get harder, and coming home to such nice messages really lift up my spirits.
You're all so wonderful! I really appreciate all of you!
#morveren rambling#Notching down the days to the 20th like a prisoner in a cell#I expect I'll be more active and be able to do more writing after the 20th!#Fanfic comments#I came home ready to cry and saw an ask that made me smile
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Yesterday I got the chance to go on the zip line, and I'm desperately afraid of heights but I still want to do things at heights, like the climbing wall or a high ropes course. And I've tried both of those things but quit very soon or before even starting, because I can't fucking do heights. But last night I got the chance to do zip line and I really wanted to, but was incredibly terrified.
So one of my dearest friends, a woman I deeply like and love, first reassured me (I was afraid I was too heavy for the zip line) and then said "Would it help if I went with you?" And yeah, she's one of the sweetest people I've ever met and she's an incredibly comforting presence, of course I said yes.
So we walked up to the zip line platform, and this is her job so she's very good at reassuring people (usually little children, but it worked for me too) who are scared to go on the climbing wall or zip line. So as I was trying to comfort myself, she told me how it would work, and that I could just sit and the harness would hold me, so I tried that and it helped, and she told me I could just lift my legs and I'd go. So I did, and she went at the same time as me, and
My god, the anxiety and the thrill, flying through the air with her next to me, seeing her wave at me as we went, getting off at the end and her asking, "So do you want to do it again?" And wanting to do it again with her, it was one of the most amazing feelings I've ever felt. I truly felt like I could've done anything I wanted with her by my side.
#if it wasnt clear i have a massive fucking crush on her and last night solidified it so much#i volunteered to work at the wall and zip line because she works there and i wanted to spend more time with her#so shes been training me a little and also just been staying near me#like today there was open zip line and her favoeite job is sending#today she had the option to send but instead stayed doing helmets and harnesses with me and one other person#she has so much experience and certifications that she did not need to be at helmets and harnesses#i think she just wanted to be near me but maybe im crazy. but it was so nice to spend time around her#i think she knows i like her. i just havent said anything yet#today i said 'i need to tell you something but i cant' andshe said 'its okay. take your time' very clearly me needing to confess my feelings#im just bad at shit like this#but last night on the zip line with her... her reassuring me...#she said if i got up there and decided i couldn't then we would just walk back down and it would be alright#it was sincerely life changing. something out of a movie based on a ya book#on the zip line. trees around me. gorgeous scenery. looking and seeing her smiling at me. she waved. we were both laughing#fucking life changing. one of the coolest experiences ive ever had. definitely helped me get over my fear a bit#after the first time on the zip line she told me experiences like that are why she loves cope and climbing#helping someone overcome their fear and develop a love for something they were scared of#it made me feel very close to her and altogether very fulfilled#and today ive spent most of the day with her. just constantly chatting and playing card games#shes been jokingly antagonizing me today with various games (how many horses and mao) but i love her playfulness#i love her humor and creativity and laugh and mind. shes horribly snart and makes it a problem /lh#shes amazing and has changed my life as long as weve been friends and i desperately wish i could tell her my feelings#but last night was. the most amazing time ive had in quite awhile#goodnight
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