#made me feel empty
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I literally feel dead in a living body
#tw depressing thoughts#hitting styro#thigh cvts#mentally unstable#cvtaddict#sh things#depresssion#depressing shit#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing stuff#depressiv#tw depressive#s3lf mutilation#s3lf harn#alone with my thoughts#you are not alone#i feel empty#lonelly#dead inside#made of styro#sh#s3lfharmm#feeling alone#leave me alone#mental health#mental illness#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#tw styro#mentally drained
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im back
#for the good#been feeling under the blue for months#all those things that ive kept inside#made me feel empty#i did bad decisions#there were good decisions#im trying to find myself again#and im back here#i will always be back here#my comfort place#fun fact ive never changed an ounce of my profile pic#cover#and username#and ive been and infjt since im in high school#now im taking bachelor's degree for college#grateful#for how much ive grown#and the remembrance of me to Allah#it made me become a better person spiritually
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Captain Francis Crozier, at Furthest North.
#the terror amc#francis crozier#my art#can't believe it took me 2 rewatches AND getting refs for this to realize it's the hungarian state opera house. girl i was there last month#anyway yeah i was looking at gifsets of the last shot of the show and feeling nauseous with emptiness etc etc when#the thought struck me that it looks an awful lot like the tableau vivants from the ep1 flashbacks in its stillness#i have no idea whether that was an intentional reference (a sort of twisted mockery of how that scrubbed and polished portrayal of history#contrasted with the deeply sad and inglorious reality#or some sort of meta about storytelling itself. i'm not really smart enough to say lol) but i made this anyways. enjoy#pattern recognition go brrrrrrrrrrrrrr#i bent over backwards trying to make this symmetric and harmonious. it isn't but if i don't post it now i never will
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yes, i love my boys
#nu carnival#nu carnival eiden#nu carnival huey#nu carnival aster#nu carnival morvay#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival edmond#nu carnival olivine#nu carnival quincy#nu carnival kuya#nu carnival garu#nu carnival karu#nu carnival blade#nu carnival dante#nu carnival rei#nu carnival rin#dammit Eiden candle! why do you tell me not to love you when you know I can’t help my feelings! 😭#I made this instead of working…#head empty. only silly nukani boys#wallet empty too. because of silly nukani boys#many much responsible. wow so adult#that’s right. i didn’t know who to put in the ‘don’t love me’ slot so i improvised. don’t judge me lol#tbh so many boys would fit there but I couldn’t decide and I didn’t wanna repeat 😅#so *bam* Eiden candle it was#Eiden candle… always there when you need him
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↳ ꜱɴᴏᴡ + ᴄᴏᴇʀᴛʜᴀꜱ ᴡᴇꜱᴛᴇʀɴ ʜɪɢʜʟᴀɴᴅꜱ
ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ꜱɴᴏᴡꜱ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜʟᴀɴᴅꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴇʀᴛʜᴀꜱ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀᴋᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʟᴀᴍɪᴛʏ ʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇxᴛɪɴᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴘʟᴀɴᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴɪᴍᴀʟꜱ. ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇɴ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴇʀᴛɪʟᴇ ʙᴀɴᴋꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ ʀɪᴠᴇʀꜱ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ꜰʟᴏᴡ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇꜱᴛᴇʀɴ ʜɪɢʜʟᴀɴᴅꜱ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴛᴇᴇᴍɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʟɪꜰᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜʀʀᴏᴜɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴘᴀꜱᴛᴜʀᴇꜱ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴇxᴄᴇʟʟᴇɴᴛ ɢʀᴀᴢɪɴɢ. ᴀʟᴀꜱ, ᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴀᴛᴜʀᴇꜱ ᴅʀᴏᴘᴘᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪᴠᴇʀꜱ ꜰʀᴏᴢᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴇɢᴇᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅɪᴇᴅ, ᴀꜱ ᴅɪᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪᴠᴇʟɪʜᴏᴏᴅꜱ ᴏꜰ ɪꜱʜɢᴀʀᴅ'ꜱ ꜰᴀʀᴍᴇʀꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱʜᴇᴘʜᴇʀᴅꜱ.
#FFXIV#FF14#Final Fantasy XIV#Final Fantasy 14#ffxivedit#Ishgard#Coerthas#ishgardposting#texture updates equal me immediately rushing to my favourite zone like:#the update somehow makes the zone even more horrific btw bc the dead dragons actually look like frozen corpses now it's extremely harrowing#not to be dramatic but few MMO zones have ever captured the horrific emptiness that CWH has. the zone feels like a ghost's wail of grief#surrounded by death on all sides. from the eternal corpses of dragon and man stranded in the waist-deep snow and the bones draped over#the mountain to the ruins of the dusk vigil and the battlefield next to it to the ruins of everything that had to be left behind to the way#the entirety of the zone is all but completely empty and abandoned and as uncaring and distant as the cold.#idk man not to get dramatic abt it but coerthas made me unhinged
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Sylvia Plath
#You told me I feel too much#That i let myself unravel so easily#That there's no way I let myself have fun#But Darlin have you seen yourself the way I see you#Such petite beauty in one soul#That elegance and grace that you were made with#Have you known yourself that way i do#How i could not#When you're so divine beloved#When I burn for you#When I close my eyes and it's only you that I see#So utterly gorgeous#I feel too much#I know#And it scares me how empty I was before i loved you#It feels as if there was no life before I met you#No light before you#Just void
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Anyone got any recs for media like this
please I'm DESPRATE.
#in stars and time#house of leaves#off game#slay the princess#please please please please please please please#I want a peice of media ANY peice of media that can make me feel half the emotions thease ones made me feel#like my soul had been scooped out with a melon baller and had left me hollow and empty as I processed everything#I guess I REALLY like media about greif?#recomendaciones#SERIOUSLY IF YOU HAVEN'T CHECKED THEASE OUT CHECK EM OUT#GO READ HOL#GO PLAY STP#GO PLAY OFF#GO PLAY ISAT#PLAY IT READ IT CONSUME#CONSUME MEDIA
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#trying to make myself feel better by drawing my fave characters#the colors in this are a bit fucked up for some reason but i love this lil guy#i recently made one of my friends watch all the bnha movies it was fun#they know nothing about bnha except bakudeku#i feel like there's an emptiness inside of me now#like i have no emotions anymore#because he's gone#just hoping i can get his ashes back quickly so he can be with me once again#sorry for talking about poju he was my best friend#just miss him so much#midoriya izuku#deku#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#fanart
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If you still taking requests... Siffrin and Dragon!Loop flying over (any place really. whatever isn't a nightmare to draw) to calm sif down from a panic attack?
this probably shouldn’t be as calming as it is.
#SORRY I SAT ON THIS FOR SO LONG. the long ass dragon comic i made was originally supposed to be for this. and then it veered#wishdragonloop au#siffrin#loop#isat#art#askbox#this is not a regular activity for them btw. the flying maybe ish but definitely not siffrin being on loop’s back.#loop feels weird and mildly dehumanized by it for a long time but is willing to tolerate it at times if siffrin is like Really fucked up#during which he’s usually distrustful of loop’s claws bc loop likes to drop (and catch) him just to tease. and that’s not helpful then lol#the white swirly shit is supposed to be the time stop btw. i always imagined it as like a big haze creeping from the borders inward#like annihilation. or fortnite.#also i am taking requests indefinitely until i say something lol. it gives me stuff to draw when head empty#au
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I can’t remember if this has been done yet but anyways here’s your (almost) monthly shitpost from me :]
#did a bit of editing so it fit (replace ‘four’ with ‘five’ in the last text and edit the image down so there wasn’t a ton of empty space)#tbh more I think about it I think it has but I don’t remember who made it originally#I apologize in advance to the person who made it first#but yeah when I saw this in another fandom I’m in I immediately thought of Roxie and neil and went ‘yeah they would say that’#and then the others came to me#also I feel like there are more characters who would say this but I’m not sure who and I don’t wanna accidentally mischaracterize someone#scott pilgrim#scott pilgrim comic#scott pilgrim vs the world#scott pilgrim takes off#roxie richter#young neil#neil nordegraf#lucas lee#todd ingram#emily shitposts
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I just beat Veilguard for the first time after about 100 hours, I give it a 5.7/10. I would’ve enjoyed it more if I hadn’t loved Dragon Age since 2009 and had this story not been one of the cornerstones of my life since I was a child
#against my better judgment I held it to a very high standard that could not have been reached#it was fun it had its moments but so much was lacking and there were too many rough edges for me to say I’m happy right now#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#da4#I’ve mentioned before that it felt like the heart of what made dragon age dragon age was gone and I’m saying that again#I think people who haven’t played the previous games would like it more#They don’t know what they’re missing and what beautiful thing this story could’ve been#I feel empty right now#A very deep and resounding ‘that’s it?’ is sitting in my heart#that being said time to play as a crow
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✨️ OFFICE SIREN ✨️
where's the roz love at? she's literally the most iconic character???
#SHE IS VERY GORGEOUS TO ME ☝️#roz#monsters inc#monsters university#monsters at work#mi#mu#maw#art#cartoons#fanart#pixar#disney#queen#she is ridiculously slept on#i don't think i've drawn roz in like 15 years#finally posting art that i've actually made in the past month#i feel like by the time i post my art it's already like 3 months old 😭#i miss having time to draw and focus on my fixations i've felt so empty and disconnected from myself 😔#i should hopefully have more time to draw answer asks and be more active in the coming weeks
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ayo guys guess what time it is again :)) 💜💜
spoiler warning for cultivate ch 41-46
hehe finally scrambled brain enough to be able to catch up and cultivate makes me go 🥰🥰😌🤗😊😊
cultivate of course by @neonghostcat beloved
#cultivate#cultivate: slow life on a monster infested mountain#liushen#mu qingfang#anyway congrats to the newlyweds#no longer has to shake SY like a bug wow hjskdh#also if ur wondering why i formatted it so stupidly and the SY club bit gets cut off so weirdly in the preview#its because i find it inherently funny how YQY gets cut out of the frame sorry hes my favouritest wet rag of a man to bully fjdsfhk#i know poor guy has it rough but not my fault hes so bulliable#anywaqyy OUGH THE PLOT IS THICKENINGG THIS IS SO EXCITING#also mqf my bby beloved ohhhhh i care him so much#yes to everyone who forgor monthly mandatory reminder that i love mqf#anyway i feel like i had lot more to say but head empty. hopefullůy the doodles are conveying my excitement properly when words cant xD#OH YEAH FORGOT TO MENTION#i borrowed the Mu Yue design for the gossip girls club from that one piece from fistfuloflightning#sorry if youre not cool with that i just love that piece so much it made me so emotional the first time i saw it i love it dearly#so i yoinked your mu yue for the background sorry aha
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Dear new followers,
Change your avatar, put anything in your title! Did you know that when lurking here, you can just hit the reblog (two arrows) button to keep a copy of the post/art on your blog and turn your blog in a scrapbook of stuff you liked? It works a lot better than just liking a post and makes people who post stuff happy! (you can also search your blog to see those posts again later that way!)
And if you made a side blog to be active on instead, know that your main blog is the visible one in follow and like notifications, so make sure to check that too!
#hello new people! welcome and take care!#and sorry to people who have been here for a long time i know i've been making too many posts about this#this is the last one though (and i hope the ridiculousness made you smile at least)#i'm pining it and will stop worrying about blocking real people because i can't#do you know how many default empty blogs follow me on the regular? which i know for a FACT are mostly bots with real people sprinkled in#and this is my SIDE ACCOUNT. which means i have to block them MANUALLY.#and that's enough work without feeling guilty about blocking maybe people maybe spam on top of it#your destiny is in your own hands#nawy's comics#nawy's edits#nawy's art#nawy's doodles#nawy's 3d#bsd#for visibility sorry#important
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very very dramatic depiction of what it's like to loop back in ISAT
(source for time dilation)
#isat siffrin#in stars and time#my art#looping probably feels like being pulled and that made me think of black holes. which made me think of time dilation!#realistically time dilation can't be “felt” because the way you “feel” the passage of time near a black hole is the same as in empty space#but an atomic clock in empty space would tick faster than an atomic clock near a black hole. which is so mindfuck-y to me#I REALLY DO WANT TO MAKE MORE PHYSICS-RELATED ISAT STUFF. I LOVE BOTH THINGS
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steve falls in love with eddie because he's this perfect amalgamation of everyone he's ever loved.
there's nancy's curly brown hair, of course, but also her fierce stubbornness and her bashful little smile when steve is being purposefully obtuse. there's tommy's passion, his impulsivity, his need to get under steve's skin in the best way possible. there's jonathan's quick remarks with a crooked grin and heather m's soft touches on bruised skin and robin's flailing hands when she talks that steve loves so much.
there's even the dorkiness of his kids that only amplifies when eddie's around them, all their talks of fantastic worlds that steve knows nothing about but nods along like he gets it. there's the bright blinding smiles that seem to pull at every face in the room when they win, hooting and hollering in a harmonious chorus.
steve falls in love with eddie for all of those things but also for all of the things he possesses on his own. his charm and his wit, his need to make steve smile every waking moment. the way he knows when steve needs quiet and dark so he closes the blinds before wrapping him up in his steady arms.
eddie falls in love with steve for all of the things that seem new to him.
he's never had a guy treat him like steve does, never had soft smiles and cards on valentines day, never had date nights or kisses in the daytime or a hand that fits gently against his own. he doesn't feel like a dirty secret pushed away to closets and out of windows. he doesn't see the quick glances around to make sure no one's watching before he gets into steve's car like he's used to getting with old partners. he doesn't get shushed or ignored or heartbroken.
he's used to being shrouded in darkness but steve is like sunshine, his love warming eddie like sunrays in and of themselves. he's used to confusion and questions but steve makes him feel wanted. makes him feel loved back.
steve is protective and smart. he sees through the bullshit eddie's built up around himself and holds him when those walls inevitably crumble down. eddie falls in love with steve because he sees him for who he truly is and loves him because of it.
they fall in love with each other because their jagged edges were made for one another, like puzzle pieces in the wrong box finding their way back home. they fall in love with each other because nothing else has ever felt more right. they fall in love with each other because everyone they loved before was a trial, a test, pushing them together whether they knew it or not.
#hi hello i promise i haven't vanished i just don't have the mental energy for tumblr (as silly as that seems i know)#i think once my bb is finished my brain will finally feel not in anxiety mode 24/7 and i can be back to cutting it up with yall here again#my writing#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie drabble#steddie fic#steddie fluff#ps heather m is not a person in stranger things but it felt empty without another person being in there so i made someone up sue me#bee not writing smut at work? what in the world????#long post#could i put this under a readmore? yeah but it seems kinda pointless so sorry about that
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