#made a light party for rp/story purposes

[jellymetric]

ive been playing a lot of ffxiv lately

miqo'te twins (a'eorta (blue) and a'eortr (red)) are @hammpter's

au ra boy (padpa (orange)) is @/toucanily's (twt/insta)

[rphelperblog]

Queen of Air and Darkness Quote Rp Meme

final book in the TDA series by Cassandra Clare- feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes

“As we all have an infinite capacity to make mistakes, we all have an infinite capacity for forgiveness.”

“Sympathy is common. Knowing the exact shape of the hole someone’s loss leaves in your heart is rare.”

“Making promises you can't keep is worse than making no promises at all.”

“I wish you could see yourself as I see you. You are so many things I never thought to want, but I do want them. I want all things with you.”

“One pancake at a time. Yes, I know you can get three in your mouth, but that doesn’t mean you should.”

“he and I are unafraid to express our manly love,”

“We cannot understand life, and therefore we cannot hope to understand death”

“Sometimes you have to Let people blame you. When the only other option is letting bad things happen, it doesn’t matter what people think.”

“Sometimes when you start a war, you want to make pancakes.”

“Some lights were never meant to burn for long.”

“The story that I love you, it has no end.”

tes far more joy than any pain it causes.”

“As long as you exist and I exist, I will love you.”

“Faith isn’t never having any doubts; it’s having what you need to overcome them.”

“I would that I had ever had a sibling who loved me as much as you love each other,”

"family is more than blood."

“Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is confront our own failings.”

“It had been a long time, and she had never imagined something quite like this: Moonlight and flowers were for other people.”

“Solutions aren’t usually mutually beneficial when one party has all the power,”

I forgot my weapons. But I do have this fork."

“Every choice has a long afterlife of consequences. No one can know the eventual outcome of any decision. All you can do is make the best choice you can make in the moment.”

“At the edge of everything, love and faith have always brought me back, and back to you.”

“I could slay with my deadly sense of humor and wicked charm,

“Grief can be so bad you can’t breathe, but that’s what it means to be human. We lose, we suffer, but we have to keep breathing.”

He loved one man so much he changed the world for him.’ ”

“You may not yourself be luminous, but you are an extraordinary conductor of light.”

"She definitely has a temper.I like it."

“What is a book? Is it the binding, the ink, the pages, or the sum of the words contained?”

“Sometimes you need to guard people against the things they want, as well as the things they fear.”

“Be good, my archer boy. Come back to me.”

“Words about things that are beautiful and precious to me don’t come easily. You know that. You know me better than anyone.”

“When I found you, I didn’t know what I was finding,"

“But I think you’re letting your fear get in the way of what you really want because what you really want is what you’re afraid of.”

“We are all guilty. And therefore we will all vote, as a reminder that every voice counts, and when you choose not to use your voice, you are letting yourself be silenced.”

“Be careful what masks you wear, child, lest you lose your true face forever.”

“Sometimes he carries me around like a swooning damsel.”

“This is the nature of having of a soul, and a heart. We all stumble around in the dark and we cause each other pain and we try to make up for it the best we can. We are all confused.”

“I still love her more than I ever thought was possible. I love her more every day, and more every time I try to stop. I love her like I'm being ripped in half.”

“Don’t remain silent about what you want, or you may never get it.”

“You're the only person I've ever loved like this, and I know you're the only person I ever will. And I'm not myself without you. Once you dissolve dye in water, you can't take it back out. It's like that. I can't take you out of me. It means cutting out my heart, and I don't like myself without my heart, I know that now.”

“People were made up of all sorts of different bits,. Funny bits and romantic bits and selfish bits and brave bits. Sometimes you saw only a few of them. Maybe it was when you saw them all that you realised you knew someone really well.”

‘Let it be that you should know no further sorrow.”

“Have you learned nothing from the way Batman’s parents died?”

"I was angry at you. I missed you. But I didn't stop loving you."

“Sometimes you cannot be loyal to everyone.”

"There's plenty of room for me to hate them all".”

“Take care, mèi mei.”

“You might be in the cage, but as long as you are like this, I am in the cage with you.” 

I missed your lunatic schemes.”

“But you’re the love I chose. Out of everyone in the world, out of everyone I’ve ever known, I chose you. I’ve always had faith in that choice. At the edge of everything, love and faith have always brought me back, and back to you.”

“It's hard to focus on your love life when giant spiders are chasing you.”

“I’m not sure I can cope with feline death on a massive scale.”

“Let us burn.”

“Have you ever wanted a really big tapestry of yourself?”

“You never thought for a second about it diminishing you to have a girl as your warrior partner, you never acted as if I was anything less than your complete equal. You never for a moment made me feel like I had to be weak for you to be strong.”

“In the meantime, I must ask you to remove yourself from my leg. You are sitting on it and it is becoming quite painful.”

“There are times, I think, where we’re each called. Where we can choose to rise up or not to rise up.”

“Some monsters are human”

ou're the most generous, and you spend the most time thinking about what makes other people happy. I think you should do whatever makes you happy. You deserve it.”

“Another night, a different boy with blue eyes. Wet weather in London, but when was it anything else?”

“But even if they fit differently now, they still fit like sisters.”

“I didn’t know if you’d want me to come in,”

“There’s nothing you could do to me that I wouldn’t want, because it’s you.”

“I want you to touch me,"

“I want to go slowly, I want to feel everything.”

“I want a war council,”

“Grief could be like a wolf tearing your insides, and you would do anything to make it stop.”

“Maybe that was why she liked horror movies; the dead never stayed dead, and those left behind were too busy wandering unwisely around in the woods to have time to grieve or feel loss.”

The thought of him lit a spark of warmth in her heart. She closed her hand carefully around the petals.”

“But so was any kind of love, and if love was a weakness, it was a strength, too.”

“I prefer redheads myself.”

“I cannot bear these inside spaces. And I have missed you so much. Will you come into the desert with me?”

“It seems the rumours of our death have been greatly exaggerated.”

“I could slay with my deadly sense of humor and wicked charm.”

[kessielrg]

Comeback Kid: Part 2

Summary: More third person additions to the chaos rp that @chibi-mushroom​ and @animacreates​  are doing.This time, Sabrina has spontaneously decided to break up with Ventus after what could amount to a nervous breakdown. In the aftermath, she is forced to take all her vacation time and become reacquainted with one of her favorite hobbies. But is it enough to get over Ven, or will the memory of him be too much to ignore? 

Rating: K+

Word Count: 2,398

Part: 1 | 2 | 3

If you liked this story, please reblog!

---

One of these days, Sabrina was going to have to ask Brain what the name of his cologne was. In the same breath, she needed to harass him on how much he used on a normal day. The cinnamon scent lingered on the still dryer warm t-shirt she had stolen. It was comforting. For once in her life, she was glad not to be surround by her purple obsession. The scent of lavender may be calming, but at the moment all it was going to do was remind her of the apartment.

And of Ventus.

Good thing Brain wasn't as vain as she was- the only mirror he really had was in the bathroom, attached to the medicine cabinet. If Sabrina had a full body mirror right now, she would have admired just all the ways she could have made Ven jealous. Brain's shirt didn't fall very low on her, but the old leggings she found were enough to cause a direct gaze to her butt. She was almost confident with herself again. Almost. Purposely being alluring to someone didn't mean the same if you didn't actually have someone to allure.

Sabrina grimaced to herself in the mirror, fluffing her hair a bit for something to do. She couldn't look herself in the eye. The last time she looked at herself in a mirror was when she skipped out on Ven. It's only been a day, and it still made her flinch. She had to leave the bathroom before she started to panic again. She went to the living room to find Brain sitting on his couch. The TV showing off some livestream on how to jailbreak a certain console. Sabrina walked up and placed her arms on the back of the couch.

“Could you hold off on being a blatant nerd? You're not even paying attention to it.”

Brain laughing, craning his neck to look up at her. “My house, my rules.” he told her. Then he got a good look at what she was wearing, and laughed. “And here I thought I was done with girls stealing my shirts.”

Sabrina let out a loud, incredibly fake gasp. “You had a sex life? Wow!”

“I could have told you about her if you had just asked. We dated for about a year. Not that I think I would have let you two share a room- you'd scare her.”

“I scare a lot of people. It's not even a challenge anymore.” Sabrina smirked. She moved around to sit next to him. Once she was comfortably sitting, she then asked, “So she was a good one?”

“Very good.” Brain agreed with a wide, incredibly fond, grin. Sabrina immediately recognized it as a grin of true love and scoffed.

“Oh shush, you.” her brother teased, forcing her to lay her head on his chest. She struggled for a moment out of annoyance. When she finally gave up, that was when Brain removed his hand from her head. Instead of sitting back up, though, she remained leaning on him. Brain did pick up the remote to change the TV setting so they could watch something on live broadcast. From there, the duo sat in a peaceful silence.

During the change between shows, Brain laid his head against Sabrin'as in thought.

“Hey Wabi-Sabi.” he mused. His voice was rather soft.

“Yeah?” she replied, her attention not leaving what was on the television.

“Do you remember, back before old Oz took us in, and we tried to spend a night out on the playground at Walt Memorial Park?”

Sabrina shifted a bit in her spot. Her face slightly darker than before as she asked, “Was that before or after the time we almost got caught by some officer around 2 AM?”

“You know what? I think it was that day.” Brain snorted. “But way before that, before the sun went down. Do you remember what we talked about?”

Admittedly, she had to close her eyes to try to remember. They nearly snapped open again as she realized, “It was about Mom, wasn't it? Why she left us.”

Brain gave her a solemn nod. “Not going to lie Sabi, I bluffed about a lot of that stuff. I wasn't there when Mom made the choice. I barely understood that she was the one who even made the choice to keep us together. Back then, I just assumed that they kept siblings together because who wouldn't? But I had to tell you something that night. You had just run away from another family. You were dead convinced that you couldn't be loved.''

“Why are you telling me this?”

“No reason,” he informed her with a grin. “Just thinkin' out loud, I guess.”

“Liar.” she spat, purposely using her elbow to poke at his side. Brain didn't refute the notion. If anything, he just laughed.

“So,” Brain then said, “What's your game plan for the next month? Oswald cashed in all that overtime and vacation pay you had. I can't see you just jogging between here and the old man's house everyday.”

“Shows what you know.” his sis huffed. “Just for that, I think I'm going to have you personally move all my stuff here.”

“What are you doing with the apartment, speaking of?” Brain asked.

“I don't know.” she admitted in a half grumble. “I'd let the lease run out, but that's still for another four months.”

“You really think you two will apologize between that time?”

Sabrina didn't answer. Instead, her face twisted into one of absolute disgust.

“Never said that.” she hissed.

“Sure, sure.” Brain laughed. “Just don't want you sitting at home with old Hollywood movies and ice cream, that's all.”

“Do you not know me at all?” Sabrina demanded, shoving him with enough force to make him move like a bobblehead for a moment. Brain's mirth did not let up. Sabrina gave her brother another disgusted grimace, but his words stuck with her.

Later on, while debating if she should clear her phone of certain numbers, Sabrina stopped scrolling through to see the name of her ex-boyfriend, Max. Max had been her first serious boyfriend, and they had managed to stay on good terms after the breakup. Sabrina made a single second choice, leading to her listening to the phone ring over as she waited for him to answer. She felt kinda dumb while waiting- was she really that self centered to think tha Max would have the time to even...

“Hey Max.” Sabrina greeted, almost in surprise, when he picked up the phone. “Yeah, I know it's been awhile. That's actually why I'm calling. You want to go to that little tea shop on Main Street tomorrow? I get it if you have other places to be since it's last minute...”

There was just one thing she could always count on in Max; he was patient when the situation called for it. Hearing him on the other end brought up a sense of relief she got from only a select few individuals.

“Thanks Max.” she sighed. “I just… need someone to talk to someone that isn't family. Yeah, I'm fine. Really. I'll tell you more later. Bye.”

Sabrina let out a long sigh. Well, that was one bandaid ripped off. Now to deal with the other; getting new clothes.

. . .

This island really was kinda small when you thought about it. She just hoped that no one Ventus knew would recognize her. Then again, the clothes she bought yesterday were darker colors meant to blend in with the crowd. If they managed to recognize her, hopefully she'd be long gone before they could flag her down. Seeing Max casually checking his phone outside the tea shop brought Sabrina a massive sigh of relief.

“Hey Max!” she shouted at him. He looked up and grinned at seeing her.

“Hey stranger.” he greeted with a grin. Once they were close enough they shared a rather heartfelt hug. “You wearing heels today? I knew you had legs for days, but I could've sworn you were shorter than this.”

“Nice try.” Sabrina smirked. She stood a bit taller over the fact that Max was several inches shorter than her. His height was perfect when they were dating- considering what he was nearly in direct eye line of. “You know I've never worn heels around you.”

“I used to be taller than you.” he jokingly pouted.

“Yeah,” she snorted. “For a whole summer.”

Max went into a laugh that was so light and joyful that Sabrina gave a small half smile. Bouncing more banter off each other, the duo headed on into the tea shop. Max found them a corner table near a back window.

“Anything look good?” Sabrina asked as they looked over the menu.

“Haven't had a tea party since I was swindled into one as a kid.” Max mused. “So I guess whatever you want to eat, and I'll take a cup of coffee.”

“How come you're only really adventurous when it comes to extreme sports?” Sabrina teased as she flagged down a waiter.

“Hey, if it's not broke, don't fix it.”

Sabrina just shook her head with a roll of her eyes.

“Welcome to Hightopp & Kingsleigh!” the server girl greeted. “May I recommend the earl grey this afternoon? Fresh from the pot!”

“No thanks.” Sabrina callously told her with a flick of her wrist. “We'll take a pot of peppermint rooibos, a baker's dozen of ladyfingers, and a single black coffee.”

“Sure thing!” the server girl agreed, writing it down on the notepad before heading to the back kitchen.

Sabrina and Max continued to have idle talks with themselves while they waited. There was no one else in this world that Sabrina could tolerate meaningless talks than with Max. They both said whatever was on their mind as it came. Thankfully, time away meant that they had plenty to reflect on. Unfortunately, it meant that at some point, current matters were going to be brought up as well.

She should have really asked to have a refill of hot water for the tea pot before even breathing Ventus's name.

“You just left him?!”

Sabrina groaned as she rubbed her temples. “Yeah...” she groaned. “His dad… I just hate his dad so much, Max. Then he started talking about marriage, and trying to convince Ven into whatever shady deal he's got going next, and it was just… Just…!” She looked up at Max to give a gesture of strangling an invisible neck, and it was enough to convey the message.

“All because your least favorite coworker was getting married as well?”

“And, like, everyone else around us! Ven's brother, two other guys from the station. How about we just chill for a hot second and realize that a ring isn't the only indicator of a good relationship?”

“You really should have gotten chamomile.” Max noted as he watched Sabrina take a rather long slip of her tea.

“Peppermint's better for stress.” she shot at him.

“If you say so,” Max replied, throwing his hands in the air to show innocence. Sabrina glared at him, but relented with a heavy sigh. Max looked her over. She had gone back to rubbing her temples and muttering rather unkind things under her breath. He had never really seen her in conflict before- or at least, this much conflict. Which meant he had to ask. Someone had to.

“Would things really change that much if you did marry him?”

Sabrina clung to the side of her head, her fingers clenching in her hair.

“No.” she finally admitted in a small grumble. “Just a different check box to fill when tax season comes around. It's the only excuse I can really think of. We're already living together, have at least one joint bank account because of it, and all that domestic bliss. We even have a chore chart, like a bunch of kids.”

“So what's holding you back?”

Sabrina grimaced -her teeth grinding- as her whole body tensed. Carefully, Max placed a hand on her arm. She looked up at him with the sole intention of smacking him away. But in seeing his sincere expression, she nearly started crying.

“Maxie,” she quietly told him “Is it bad I'd rather give him a kid than tie the knot?”

“Definitely unorthodox.” he mused with a solemn nod. “Maybe they feel like less of an obligation? You know the deal; some parents just drop their kids off to whoever, or just don't pay attention to them. Then they turn around and brag they're the best parents ever.”

“I can't do that to him.” she heavily sighed. “I just can't. And even then, I don't think I'm ready for a kid. Or any drama that happens during or after the pregnancy. Maybe when I'm 30? But doing so now just makes me sick.”

“Ah,” was all Max could say. He went into thought over this development. When a new idea came to him, he snapped his fingers as if he had solved a major mystery. “You said Oswald's making you take the next month off from work, right? Maybe it's time for a change.”

“Max,” Sabrina told him, even rather condescendingly placing a hand on top of his. “I am not going full Britney Spears and shaving my hair off. The mental breakdown was enough.”

“No,” he laughed, “Nothing like that. Look, you used to love dancing. Right? Roxanne is a teacher at the local dance studio. She mostly teaches the younger kids, but she's been itching for private lessons in her off time. Go take the edge off a bit. Do some pivots off the mirror, or spin around a lamppost for a hot second. Be that dramatic princess I know you are. Be yourself. I mean, it's not like Oswald's gonna let you head back into work right away anyway. Might as well make the most of it.”

“Next you'll be telling me that I should start writing a novel.”

“Well, I mean, if that's what you need...”

It hurt, but Sabrina forced herself to laugh. She looked up at Max and just smiled.

“I can't believe I know a lot of good guys.” she laughed, leaning over a bit to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “Thanks Maxie.”

Max let out a shy little laugh as his face lit up a scarlet red.

[enduringsea]

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet​ ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo  all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse  don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone  i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada  are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer 

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER... 

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

[kuroganeslayer]

How did you get into RP?

// The villians made me do it. Axel, Piccolo, Vegeta, Yami Bakura, Yami Malik, Renji, Grimmjow, hichigo, Gajeel, Cobra/Erik, Midnight/Macbeth, and Laxus.

I

[[MORE]]

That is hard to remember as it happened along time ago when I was watching yugioh for the first time when WB had it on tv. Then I grew attached and got the japanse ones including the manga books. I noticed a huge difference between the anime dubbed and the oringal. But sometimes I could understand why they change things, but people pointing your fingers at you which were oringally supposed to be guns was really stupid. Then changing the cards, editing the millienium Rod where Yami Maik is holding it in a wiered angle instead of seeing the dagger so stupid and even editing Zork, because he looks like he has a huge cock, but they edited It and made it worse for the dub. Shit they could of created smoke circulated around him and no one would of noticed it.

 That is where I got my inspiration on writing fan fiction, then I hopped on rp on forums on breaks during my internet class. I used to know how to do lots of html stuff, but now am really rusty with it. When I was in the yugioh fandom, they had a forum where you could look up spoilers, but I got into when you could rp with any other anime character you wanted I would rp as Yami Bakura and Yami Maik, as they were my favorite characters in the show even though they actually dueled against each other, but then took out the dueling part where me and a selected group had all of them go adventures and these two villians would cause chaos.

A few times I also rped as Piccolo, but that was hard to pull off. 

Then I got into the Kingdom Hearts fandom on a different site and rped as Axel and then things started to get hectic as me and a friend were harassed personally just because we wrote paragraphs when we rped. However the other group would god mod a lot so it just wasn’t a fun environment anymore Including the site getting hacked by a moderator who erased all the rps so I found my way to tumblr. At first I would just scroll and type things of my interest then I saw people rping and it looked like fun to me. There was another person who I quickly became friends with and she was a Axel rper and we would rp together. Then I found a Reno rper who has a butt load of other blogs as muses and we became friends. I would rp with almost all his muses. Eventually he and my Axel began shipping together. Then he disappeared and said he needed time away from the fandom and I understood that. Then he introduced me to Bleach and that is where I feel in love with Renji, Ichigo and Grimmjow. I currently have an Renji and Ichigo muse to this day, but I only go on there when I feel muse, but sometimes other people complaining about the manga doesn’t help or even the anon hate either. Also there was drama in the Bleach fandom and it started to get toxic.

So I found a different outlet, but it wasn’t until I saw Fairy Tail on Netflix so I watched it because I give anime a chance of at least 8 episodes or more. The story was hilarious and I decided I would keep watching it trying to find a favortie character that came along. Laxus was awesome and I liked him and his attitude, but also Natsu was completely funny and so was Grey. However when Gajeel came onto the screen I just fell in love with this bad ass. He was a villain and I love villains and I have always have in most cases when it comes to lots of animes. I root for them instead of the heros.  Also I have always loved dragons so Fairy Tail became a favorite and him being a dragon slayer like Natsu was pretty awesome. Damn Gajeel was such a bastard dragonslayer and he wanted to kill Natsu. Then I found out that Laxus was a dragon slayer also. I was thinking holy shit how many are there? So yes that intrigued me also. Gajeel being part of Fairy Tail still baffles me. Makarov making it happen by basically trapping him against his will. This really set off Laxus and he wanted to take over the guild because of dark guilds besides the econsidering his guild weak. Then after the Fantasia arc was over and Laxus leaving his thunder legion behind. I went to look for more episodes. I caught up and was a little upset that Gajeel wasn’t in the Oracion Seis arc and I still hate the creator for doing that because it would of been so much interesting in my opinion to see if Gajeel would turn on Fairy Tail or not. I secretly was hoping he would because I never thought he would become a redeemed villain that earily in the series. With how hes treated now as a comedy relief and joke I wish he never was part of fairy tail.

I even thought about boycotting that saga just because it didn’t seem that interesting. However that quickly changed when I noticed the villians. There were two guys that quickly grabbed my attention Cobra and Midnight. It was during the opening So I continued to watch despite the fact I had a problem of Wendy being exposed to a criminal underlord, guild a dark guild. Sorry, but that made no sense to me to expose a newbie with no fighting experience over someone like Gajeel, Juvia who has experience with fighting guilds. I wondered what the hell was the creator thinking. How come Gajeel wasn’t in this saga at all? It would of been right up his ally. So stupid and lame. Then I was thinking he was purposely excluded for some reason. I still feel for that as it wasn’t just a spy for Raven Tail thing because Gajeel already gave Makarov the information for being a double agent for the dark guild Raven Tail. Juvia also wasn’t in this saga either even though she has been with Natsu’s team when they were dealing with Jellal. I pondered this as well, both members part of Phantom Lord, supposedly a rival of Fairy Tail, however to me it never seem like the case. It was more than that especially if you read the japanese portion of the manga and anime (not the dubb) that evil Saint Wizard Jose wanted that guild terminated, everyone dead, jealously my ass. Much like dark guilds hate light guilds. Gajeel and Juvia were a threat to Fairy Tail and Makarov knew it, so he kept them out of it. Probably for the best, but I digress.

So I rooted for the other side, the Oracion Seis wanting them to beat the light guilds. Midnight was pretty interesting especially when he was sleeping on a carpet. The Cobra guy with his monstrous snake definitely had me hooked. There was something about those eyes and those fangs of his that seemed familar and it reminded me of Gajeel’s, Laxus and Natsu. Then his mind ability to hear anything and go through memories through me a loop. Shit I loved this guy kicking Natsu’s ass and it was just fascinated to watch. Then learning he was also a dragon slayer made me think of how well he and Gajeel would have been fun to team up in the series cause trouble loved to have seen especially to see how they faired against Natsu together. Unfortunately Gajeel and Cobra only teamed up in Fairy Tail Gaiden Rhodonite which I hope in the future its gets an anime adaption. It's about the only time Gajeel actually worked with someone (besides Pantherlily his bad ass black panther exceed) who could hold his own in a fight without interference from a third party. And actually respects him.

[deonisms]

━━ ( booboo stewart + cis male + twenty one ) oi , have you seen deon damgaard around he lives in flat 14 in bedroom 2 ? i was meant to meet them this morning at bean me up before our lecture but he didn’t show . no ? well , shit . if you do see them , can you tell them i’m looking for them ? they’re a 3rd year robotics engineering student from gainesville, florida & you’ll know it’s them because they might just remind you of the faint smell of something burning, the restless clicking of a tongue piercing against teeth, boisterous laughter muffled by thin walls, dark circles combined with blindly bright grins, the warmth of overheating machinery . just be careful, he can be a little tactless, gullible & mercurial sometimes . —- oh don’t look like that , they’re usually eccentric, innovative & intuitive most of the time . ✏ pepper , twenty three, she/her, est

ABOUT THE MUN. hey demons, it’s ya gurl pepper

djkdsjk hello it is me again,,, simply out here being a slave to my own inspiration. honestly, i love ismael but i was torn between him, theo, and deon before apply for this rp and i am just feeling deon a bit more atm. i might still bring ismael in later as my third muse but for now it’s going to be all chaotic energy with one mr. deon! but omg okay a bit about me, i love the bachelor/bachelorette so hit me up if you want to mourn the death of pilot pete’s last braincell. i have a yorkie who literally runs my household as she should. i am honestly a hoe for a good aesthetic, like pinterest runs my ass. and i love sparkling water, which is controversial i know but perrier? god. fuck me up.

BIO. i need a himbo! i’m holding out for a himbo at the end of the night! he’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be dumb and polite! suicide tw, depression tw, death tw !!!

Deon Damgaard was born from a tryst of passion. In other words, an affair. A very exciting affair, if that makes things any better. Said affair was between his mother, a talented young pianist, and his father, an influential, very much married businessman. You see, his father saw his mother play once and instantly fell in love. He came to every single one of his mother’s performances after that, and every time he did he left her flowers. Extravagant, beautiful flowers, the kind of flowers that make an impact on a woman, apparently. And they must have, because before long Deon’s mother was falling just as in love with Deon’s father as he was with her. And obviously you know what happens next. Deon.

Now, the thing about passionate love affairs is that they’re love affairs for a reason. There’s the love part of course. But there’s also the affair part. And that’s where things get complicated. Because despite being utterly, and completely in love with Deon’s mother, his father was still married. And he had no intention of ending his marriage, even for love.

But Deon’s mother didn’t know that at first. You see, Deon has inherited his mother’s easy optimism. The woman was in love and she believed with absolute surety that the love of her life would ultimately choose her. And so she waited for that day. And waited. And waited.

She spent most of the first few years of Deon’s life waiting, but the longer she waited the less Deon’s father even bothered to come around. The thing with falling in love hard and fast is that you can fall out of love just as quickly. And that’s exactly what Deon’s father did. He fell out of love like it was nothing.

So there was Deon’s mother, with a baby she shared with a man who didn’t love her anymore. One that carried his last name against his wishes, one that even had the name that he’d said he’d always wanted to give a son. One that she loved, truly. But that love wasn’t enough. Because Deon’s mother was in pain. More pain than a little baby like Deon could understand. Enough pain to end her own life.

Deon was six at the time. Not old enough to know what the big deal was, but old enough to understand that something was wrong. Especially when he  quickly found himself in an orphanage. His father never claimed him of course. Deon doesn’t even know if he mourned his mother. Or if he wanted to come to her funeral. All he knows is that he wasn’t there.

There’s not much to be said after that, or at least nothing as poetic as the beginning. Deon was put into the foster system and he was never really wanted again. Well. Maybe that’s not completely true. The truth is no one ever wanted to adopt him. But he always hoped someone would. He’d be passed from family to family to family, bright eyed and hoping like the optimistic child he was. But they never wanted him. Some said he was too hyper. Others said he was too curious. More than a few just said he was too odd, and Deon always found that strange. That he was too odd to keep. Too odd to love.

Of course most of them didn’t expect Deon to be eavesdropping when they said these things so Deon couldn’t really fault them. They didn’t mean to hurt him. And so she could never truly hate them. He couldn’t find it in his heart to. But it was painful, to get his hopes up each time only to have them dashed away. Whether that be by being tossed aside like nothing but a nuisance or tossed around like nothing but a rag doll. It always hurt to seek love and give love and yet never get any in return.

The bright side in Deon’s eyes was that at least he never made any friends. Because could you imagine how hard that would be? To pack your bags and have to say goodbye to your family and friends every time? It’d be too much to bear. So Deon counted his blessings. There weren’t many but he cherished the ones he had.

One of which was school. Deon didn’t have much at all, but at the very least he had school. Because everything had a price. Toys. Food. Even families (Deon wasn’t completely ignorant to the fact that his families got paid just to take care of him. For a lot of them that was the only reason they kept him around in the first place.) but school? School was free, and he adored it. Okay, maybe not all of it. English and foreign languages and god, history, all of that was painfully boring. But science? Science was the one thing that he had to look forward to throughout most of his childhood. And it continued to be that one thing into his young adulthood.

The majority of Deon’s said young adulthood was spent sporadically behind bars. Let’s just say Deon fell into the wrong crowd. It wasn’t on purpose, Deon has just and likely always will be the kind of person who is eager for friendship. All these kids had to do was be even slightly nice to him and ‘sure, man! i can totally hotwire that car for you!’. That’s not to say Deon was completely innocent himself. Most of his arrests for theft, graffiti, and street racing, were products of his own doing. But sometimes, Deon just happened to be the guy abandoned at the scene of the crime. He never gave up his friends, no matter what the cops threatened him with, but he unfortunately never had the privilege of having his loyalty returned.

Deon stayed out of juvie by the skin of his teeth. It was mostly due to the fact that he lived in a lot of different small towns for majority of his adolescence. Deon could usually endear the small town sheriffs to him with his incessant chatter, and well meaning demeanor. He honestly made friends with more than a few of the cops that had arrested him, and there are more than a few that Deon would still call up today and chat with.

Despite his dabbling in crime, Deon graduated from high school with an almost spotless GPA and partial scholarships to more than a few universities including Harvard, MIT, Yale. Deon was kind of startled by all of the offers, but he did have more than a few projects during his years of schooling that caught the universities attention (including making a car that ran on used vegetable oil, a charger that could charge your phone to completion in less than a minute, etc). But with all the offers, Deon picked Larnswick. Why? Well, mostly because he’d never been on a plane but also because he picked his university by playing eenie meenie miney mo dkdskj

Deon showed up to flat 14 with one pretty light suitcase, a rat in his hand, and a beaming grin despite being in a new strange country. He’s here on a full scholarship, but doesn’t really have any money of his own so he works a lot of jobs, or rather he gets fired from a lot of jobs. Every month or so you can see Deon in a new uniform for a new establishment, and every once in a while Deon will tell you the wild story of how he got fired from said establishment. Honestly he could really do well in a job as a handyman, but jsdkj he hasn’t thought of that yet. 

HEADCANNONS. if i get shot do i own the bullet? like can i keep it?

fun fact, i originally made deon as an npc in a house party para i was doing with my friend sdkjsdjk he was genuinely made to be as annoying as possible but then my friend actually really liked him so now he’s a whole ass muse. that said if he is annoying... it’s because he was legit designed to be i’m sorry folks sdkjdskj fingers crossed he’s not though! but grating traits he has: never stops talking man, says man, dude, bruh, and bro, constantly. CONSTANTLY. you’ll be having a conversation with him and he’ll just blurt out something completely off topic??? HE’S SO LOUD TOO! And incredibly inappropriate god

that said deon was also inspired by jason mendoza and i literally teared up writing that because i’m pmsing so sdkjsdkj let’s move on!

has a septum piercing, a tongue piercing, a smiley piercing, a nipple piercing on his left nipple and several tattoos, most of which he’s done himself after buying a tattoo gun (honestly you shouldn’t let deon tattoo you because he just does whatever comes to him at the time but also LET DEON TATTOO YOU!). honestly probably has more than a few earrings too, and he’s very proud of all of his piercings honestly. 

loves colour and neon especially, but also loves to wear a lot of black like he’s a whole ass mess. his favourite colour is yellow btw. generally just wears what he likes, but he pretty much never looks polished. 

his favourite number is 0!

wears a lot of rings and jewelry as well, you will rarely find your boy without something on his fingers.

has a rat named titty boy that he calls titty for short. his name is titty boy because he only eats hot cheetos and likes to watch the real house wives. as sad as it sounds he was one of deon’s first genuine friends so he loves him like BIG. takes him everywhere like he usually has him in his bag at lectures. titty can be found scurrying around the flat having the time of his life at any given moment that deon is in there.

built a little helper bot and named him douche bag, or rather deebs for short. also loves him big. deebs is constantly getting updated by deon honestly, but your boy actually probably won a prize when he made him because he’s actually?? very like advanced for what he is (he runs on used oil from fast food chains, has a near nonexistent carbon footprint, facial recognition, etc). deon literally made him so that he could help him remember to take his pills (deon has clinical depression and adhd unfortunately, so he needs deebs around to give him that nudge), and he can do that and more now. deon kind of wants to see if he can break him into the service animal industry, cause he figures he could be good for people who need service animals but have allergies to fur.

gets around, mostly because he is attracted like everybody and feels no qualms about telling them that? and omg he’s another muse of mine that’s bi btw, no one is surprised. but honestly isn’t really a player just cause he’s too dumb to be one man. like if he was suppose to call you and he didn’t he literally just forgot sdkjsdkj

does not talk about himself at all! ever! like legit learning anything about deon’s past is like pulling teeth! 

like i said deon has depression, but like most people probably don’t know that because again,, your boy is close lipped. that said he doesn’t try to hide it, like if you see him taking his pills you see him taking his pills. there are times though that deon will just not be found for a week or two when his depression gets bad and usually at those times his door will be locked and will not open for the entirety of that week like MAYBE at night when everyone is asleep so he can pee but that’s it! he usually emerges from these occasions chill and chipper as he usually is with sdkmds absolutely no mention of it. i don’t know if he has any friends he’s close enough to that he’d talk to about that though you know, like honestly from deon’s perspective *deon vc* i don’t wanna bring anybody down, man...

says man and bro and bruh and dude WAY TOO MUCH like they punctuate most of his sentences sdkdjs

surfer dude energy. skater dude energy. stoner dude energy.

smokes A LOT of weed. LOVES to party! that guy you see at every house party and have to wonder like??? how is he passing ANY of his classes sdkjsdj

honestly when i usually write deon he’s an MIT graduate so dskjds he definitely got an offer from there that he casually responded to like ‘oh shit, thanks man, but i’m cool!’ sdkjdsjk also probably has gotten more than a few offers to work at like google but refuses to work there until every image that shows up for the search ‘donald trump’ is just the angry orange. it’s his own negotiating point and he refuses to budge on it.

sometimes you can catch deon sitting in his car blasting sara barailles and crying in the university parking lot.

and finally, in ode to ismael,,, deon has a crush on claire from the bon appetit test kitchen. like he wants to marry her. his twitter is just nonsense stream of consciousness stuff and then occasionally ‘@clairesaffitz MARRY ME CLAIRE’. people have probably tried to point out to him that claire doesn’t have a twitter but deon always forgets djhddfjk

knows all the words to TLC’s waterfalls and will sing it to completion whenever it’s on.

will come to your flat and like fix your heater if it’s acting up. literally just hail deon down if you need anything fixed and he will do it for literally nothing. he just likes to help, and to be wanted around tbh rip

swears A TON omg i almost forgot deon swears constantly dkjds he doesn’t see a problem with it honestly, and he’s never like angrily swearing honestly it’s usually excited swearing but sdkjsdkj he’s a potty mouth nonetheless and if your muse doesn’t swear deon will pay them money to do it despite being BROKE. “will you say fuck for a dollar?” sdkjdsj despite the fact that he’s in england rip. 

PERSONALITY. do u are have stupid? hell yeah brother!

honestly one of my most kindhearted muses. like deon wouldn’t hurt a FLY! he catches spiders in his hands and takes them outside sdkjsdk. like even if you’re a dick to deon he will still be nice to you! never gets mad at ANYBODY, like it’s so rare to see deon pissed man he has the heart of a surfer dude

just freaking says things man. doesn’t think before he says anything ever. no brain to mouth filter at ALL.

that said he’s a lot smarter than he looks and acts skjdsj but he’s also so stupid, it’s a bit contradictory honestly because deon is a DUMBASS! but he be knowing things man i can’t explain it. like he has no brain to mouth filter but like if you tell deon a secret no one is ever going to know. 

PAINFULLY loyal to his friends like to a fault! even if you betray deon or abandon him he legit will not do the same to you, like if you were ever his friend you will be his friend until the day he dies. 

generous. would give the shirt off his back to someone if they needed it

humble? like deon knows he’s good at what he does because people keep telling him that but he doesn’t do it because he’s good at it he does it because he thinks it’s fun and like rewarding, like seeing deebs beeping around just makes him happy.

doesn’t have a competitive bone in his body when it comes to academic success or professional success but when it comes to mario kart or ddr or tWISTERand suddenly nothing else matters in the world

lowkey still desperately wants friends and to be accepted, and cares a lot more about what people think of him than he lets on, rip

you absolutely could manipulate deon whenever you wanted to, he would skdjdsjk probably never catch on man. it’s like ‘fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, come on man... fool me THREE TIMES?? bro.’ dkjdskj

lowkey sad sometimes because it be like that, but he will hide it the minute there’s someone around him. 

one of those muses that is like... are you pretending to be dumb or are you really that dumb? and like legit i don’t even know the answer man and i’ve never actually got to play him long enough to find out so i’m hype for that!

WANTED CONNECTIONS. *tries to crowd surf at a ted talk*

BROS. give deon some a group of close guy friends he will adore them with everything in him!

A NEIGHBOR THAT’S ANNOYED BY HIM. whether you’re trying to get inside and deon is talking your ear off about the toe he found in his subway sandwich, or it’s just the damn loud music he’s always playing (if you hear cotton eyed joe at two am, it’s definitely deon) you have a right to be annoyed by him. you are valid. 

CONFIDANTE. despite the amount deon likes to talk he’s actually a really good listener and will keep all your secrets forever! so confide in him man, he’s got you. or the other way around someone deon feels like he can confide in and talk to?? a concept. 

EXES. give me someone who broke his heart! i’ve never gotten to play brokenhearted deon but it would be fun. or someone who’s heart he accidentally broke, honestly he wouldn’t know it until it was too late sdkjsdkj.

CRUSH. give me someone who has a crush on deon that he is completely oblivious to. give me someone who deon has a crush on that he doesn’t know what to do with! honestly for the most part deon is either very blunt and forward or awkward and dumb with a crush, but either way it will be entertaining for all involved. 

DAD FRIEND/MOM FRIEND. deon is a whole mess honestly, and he just needs someone who will make sure he doesn’t die you know? because he’s used to taking care of himself generally but he really will get himself into dangerous situation because he’s just stupid. some random stranger offers deon crack at a music festival? deon will take it! it’s so nice that they offered him some! *deon vc* yoooo, thanks man!

ENEMY. i just find it funny that deon wouldn’t know they are enemies. he’d wave to them and say hi and they’d be like I HATE YOU and he’d laugh like it’s a joke dkjdsk it’d be very one sided but very entertaining. 

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. deon has traveled all around america so give this to me friends! could even be friends from high school or something or middle school, whatever it is i’m game. 

FWB. just really chill buds who also have sex. deon will try to high five them after sdkjdsjk maybe someone involved is catching feelings or maybe they’re just going to always be friends who have seen each other naked, and you know what that’s okay too. 

alright that’s all i’ve got for now friends, because i’ve been up since 7am and i am slowly losing steam sdkjs but we can always brainstorm! like this and i’ll slip and slide into your dms!

[grand-galvatron]

🍓

🍓 - What’s your sweetest rp experience so far?

This was difficult to answer, but using all of my muses, here they are.

Galvatron isn’t sweet, so he gets nothing. He looses, good day you maniac king.

Cyclonus: Reuniting with @cerulean-seeker‘s Thundercracker at Skywarp’s marker. This thread really made me smile at when TC realized who the purple mech is after doing the whole vocalization thing. Cyclonus is such an interesting character, especially as I’m in the he’s Skywarp not Bombshell party. My second contender is for when he reverts back to SW, seeing how TC wouldn’t leave his side after those surgeries, it made me think about my brother, how if I were to end up in a situation like that, I knew he’d try to meet with me as well.

Roller: He’s still perhaps my least used muse, but for my contender of sweetest rp experience with him is in a thread with @cyber-pop-star about Rosie’s time carrying the twins Sherbet and Sunset. I felt these little moments helped establish my characterization of Roller. How he can be shy, supportive, and still try to understand his purpose in the universe after loosing his way.

Breakdown is my favorite character, which is how Grand Galvatron became my favorite Combiner. So for him, I’d say @arianna-faebot‘s thread about their time at Six Lasers over Cybertron. I was very happy at how it turned out, especially since my own time on ferris wheels didn’t go well. For @featheredwingedfeline, its the part of their confessions of love, when Breakdown put Christmas lights all over the house. I don’t remember why I chose to write that, but how Odette’s Mun wrote her replies, oh how teary I felt at how sweet it all was.

Starscream was my very first favorite TF character, (Why I made a plush of him) so with Geki’s character @forecast-calling, it’d be when she uses her powers to grant him his crown and cape. Honestly, he looks really sexy with those items on. Hopefully we can continue to write about their relationship sometime. So for now, their huddled up somewhere safe while they wait for the twins to be born. Another mun I’d like to mention is @awkwardandautisticjetplane in one thread where Starscream and her muse Rainstrike are at a fountain after her friends cause trouble in the cafe. I thought this was a sweet scene because of how we wrote it showing that they really do love each other. Soon we will write about her being queen, but for now, they’re enjoying a nice shopping trip.

Thrust, oh Thrust the squidhead. Before roleplaying, I didn’t care at all for Thrust when he was announced as a member of Grand Galvatron. Then I started interacting with you Geki and the world of Dragon Storm. I’d say the sweetest thread of them is when her lover comes back after the madness involving Unicron. Its just that moment when Emily starts turning her life around for the better. There are a bunch of others that we did, even your little writing of Thrust admitting his own feelings makes me smile, but for now, remeeting is the sweetest moment to me.

BONUS: Myopsida is a genderbent version of Thrust, but I do feel happy at how she’s doing alongside the others in terms of interactions. Thank you @thebestdecepticonleader for our fun stories of them on these big adventures. For my sweetest moment, it’d be them in the shower. I feel this is the moment when they truly do begin to have feelings for each other. Not just little hints that may or may not be there. Here’s to hoping the rest of our threads go well!

Thank you for asking Geki!

[nikvs-blog]

pov rp: i try to wink at u but i close both eyes like jinsoul in this gif <3 SBJDWBDJWBDJ hello im xan im 22 & from the est timezone i use she / her pronouns & ur watching disney channel. is this super late ? yea...but thats super on brand for me its fine its fun its sexy so * jugkook vc* let’s get it !

— jung jinsoul. she/her. cis female. | was that niko seo i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time working as a waitress, but i’ve always just seen them scribbling poetry on napkins. they live in 3A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of making wishes on falling stars, silk ribbons adorning messy ponytails, and breakfast at midnight.

BACKSTORY

so miss niko was born in a teeny tiny suburban town in north carolina to a pair of  young high school sweethearts ! unfortunately her mom passed away during childbirth so it was a very bittersweet arrival into the world for baby niko

her dad was a mechanic who never made it to college since his girlfriend got pregnant towards the end of their senior year. they got married before niko was born though because they were pretty serious abt raising her right but they never really got the chance to /: but her dad loved his job he loved working with cars & it was something his own dad did before him plus it was a job the town really valued since it was so tiny ( u really only needed one of everything )

when i say tiny i mean everyone knows everyone tiny. growing up the town kinda pitied niko bc of her mom dying so to compensate everyone kinda tried to do their part in raising her ! her neighbors were just as much of a parent to her as her own dad was, and everyone had stories abt her mom so niko kinda appreciated how small the town was.....sometimes

that changed as she got older ! when she started high school her dad kinda entered a rough patch & started drinking more with his buddies, started working less, and niko started getting calls from the sheriff at 2 am like “hey we’re gonna keep ur dad for the night he didnt do anything crazy but he got a little too drunk u can pick him up tomorrow” sort of thing 

she was there for him every time but it got kinda overwhelming knowing everyone was in her family's business & how much kids would gossip at school or adults would give her sad looks

basically she kinda just....became very disillusioned with her reality & began to realize no one around her was really.....happy or had big dreams and their entire lives revolved around this tiny town which scared her

but also ? it had started becoming her life, too. she was voted prom queen senior year, she had a job at a diner where the same people ate everyday, she’d been dating the same boy for four years and everyone talked about how they’d probably get married soon. she’d become exactly like everyone else without even realizing it....she didnt have some big dream.....she didnt even have plans for college she was just so stuck

and then disaster hit the summer after she graduated high school. her dad had crashed right into a tree on a rainy night trying to drive home after a night out drinking & died on impact. the news honestly didnt feel real to her until her grandparents were helping her clear out her house so she could come move in with them 

which is when she finds her mom’s old diary ! and boy was that thing . fat & juicy ... it had all four years worth of her mom’s high school years inside and niko became ...obsessed with it. all she did that summer her dad died was read her mom’s old diary learning more abt the woman from those pages than she ever had from the mouths of everyone in her town

 thats how she found out her mom had always dreamed of moving to some city like seattle and starting this new life once she found out she was pregnant with niko ! so niko was like ok this has to be a sign....told her grandparents she loved them but she couldnt stay in north carolina.....and boop ! she pretty much disappeared from the town, didnt tie up any lose ends ( including her bf of four years who she was kinda engaged to ? JSDBJBDJ ) because she just had to leave that bad. 

cue a scene on bus with niko looking out the window as some dramatic song abt new beginnings plays . JSDBJSBDJW seattle was truly her new start at 18 ... and all she wanted to do was just ... reinvent herself 

so she did ! first thing she did was get a job as a waitress bc uh ur girl was BROKE broke but she knew she was good at serving. the first year was.....pretty rough there’s no sugar coating it niko was struggling bad, probably living in some questionable apartment when she wasnt coach hopping at her coworker’s places. despite all this she was....insanely happy she really believed ( and still does ) seattle is magic !

she was working at a diner ironically, just like she had been back home, but this diner changed her life about a two years ago. one day one of her regulars ( a very well off lawyer who worked downtown ) told her she was way too pretty and charming to be serving at a place like this & that he had a buddy who owned an upscale restaurant near his job downtown & that he could probably get niko a job there if she wanted

so she was like UH hell yes....showed up the next day at this fancy restaurant, charmed the pants off the owner, and the rest ? is history !  she moved into hideaways a bit after getting this new job & has been there ever since <3

PERSONALITY + TIDBITS

personality wise niko is kinda ....hard to figure out. she doesnt do it on purpose, she’s just still learning about who she is and what she really wants. back home in north carolina she was kind of the small town golden girl, loved by everyone type of deal but also very romanticized by those around her ??? ppl thought she was brilliant and knew so much about everything when the truth was she just knew a little about a lot. she would read to escape the suburban boredom of her reality & took a special interest in things like art and poetry and astronomy. shes the type to want to share the stuff she’s learned with those around her

in seattle since no one knew her the way they did back home, niko decided she wanted to keep it that way. because of this and because shes so hesitant to talk about her family sometimes she can come across as mysterious but she’s a surprisingly open person !! she’s naturally super curious and friendly and she’s found it really helps to be the kind of person people want to get to know and trust when working in the service industry. she’s got the type of aura about her that makes you feel as if maybe you’ve known her forever, even if she’s only told you one thing about herself ( which is often the case) . can probably make anyone feel at home within five minutes of talking to her & you won’t even realize how she’s doing it. her boss swears she’s charming enough to sell honey to a bee ! 

she’s also got a flighty side though that comes out when you get too close. niko’s great at relationships when they aren’t deep, but the moment you start and figure her out and see past the smiley walls she’s got up she recoils fast. in a way she’s terrified of anyone knowing too much about her because she’s scared that once they do they’ll pity her, and niko can’t stand being pitied. she’s also super good at dishing out affection but not so good at receiving it. the type to fall in love then right back out of love in one day. kinda a heart breaker bc of this but she doesn't mean to be, she just gets infatuated kinda easily & isn’t very good at keeping things serious ever since literally running away from her long-time ex in north carolina JSBCSJBDJW 

some fun facts: she wants to get a cat and name it cat so bad but she’s not sure she’d be a good pet mom so she just settles for petting stray cats in public. 100% that weirdo crouching in the street making kissy noises because she saw a cat and wants to pet it. she can name just about every constellation & loves to sit outside and look at the stars on clear nights, usually while smoking a joint . she’s a hardcore lightweight .... im talking one tequila shot and she’s floored ... two glasses of wine and she’s taking her top off  then crying kinda deal like she CANNOT handle her liquor so she tries to keep partying to a minimum. she’s got a collection of napkins from work were people have scribbled their phone numbers onto as well as a collection of napkins niko herself has scribbled on. she mostly writes poems and sometimes she even leaves a napkin with a poem on it behind at a table like a little gift for whoever sits there next. she’s probably always writing poems for all her friends or infatuations so if you’re in her life....you’ve gotten one at some point ! 

the only thing she brought with her from north carolina were all her records. she’s got a pretty extensive collection that ranges from donna summer to louis armstrong to led zeppelin & when she finally got a record player of her own in seattle it was probably the best day of her life <3 she really likes to watch scary movies but also they scare her so bad so it’s a cycle of oh yes lets watch this.....fuck why did i do that.....im sleeping with the lights on rinse & repeat. she really likes to cook ! she learned at a pretty early age out of necessity but now she does it for her own pleasure also because of her growing interest / knowledge in the restaurant industry. her wardrobe is 95% thrifted and 5% stolen from miscellaneous people ( her dad, old boyfriends, hookups, friends, etc. ) is a notorious hoodie thief so dont lend her yours......

and this is WAY too long im.....so sorry this literally always happens aha <3 yes i ramble but thats bc . i have a lot to say and i also have a lot of love to give ! spare some plots ? we can im on tumblr but i am 100% easier to reach on discord  @ EL i love u 💖✨🌙#8172 so hit me up there & lets get this show on the road baby ! 

[girlforlorn]

taissa farmiga + cis female + she/her.┊ ❛ ━ hey, is it just me or do you hear “goodbye mr. a” by the hoosiers playing in the distance ? oh, that’s just melanie “molly” watson, a twenty-three year old assistant research scientist working with the sector of humanity. according to my sources, i heard she can be neutral good and is meticulous, but also desperate. that’s probably why they remind everyone of a thrift shop cardigan two sizes too big, cooking shoplifted hot dogs over a burning garbage can, & a light at the end of the tunnel bright enough to damage your eyes. anyway, make sure to keep an eye out, the doves are more powerful with them on their side ! ( nina, 21, est, she/her )

howdy everybody! my name’s nina and i’ve been thirsting to join this rp ever since lis reblogged one of the first pre-opening promos onto my dashboard! this is my very depressed and shy child molly, who is going to be quietly watching and taking notes as your mutant muses scream in the experimentation lab. 🤠

BIOGRAPHY !

Melanie Watson was born to a very poor and very dysfunctional family, in a rural town in Sapphire state, where supervillains knew there was plenty of land to set up a base secluded from Crystalline. The majority of the population’s tax dollars went not to the school systems, but to reparations on the destruction caused by the supervillains hiding out on the outskirts of the town, the local mutants with no control over their abilities, and the hot-shot superhero who made monthly rounds to the town to bust villain operations. 

While raising their daughters in a town with the lowest life expectancy in the state, the Watsons always did what they could to make sure Molly and her twin sister, Valerie, would have a way out. So they pushed their kids to work toward scholarships, and when Molly was revealed to be a particularly bright student, they cut critical corners to help pay her tuition to a private school one town over, in their only chance to give her an education that could compete with kids from more affluent neighborhoods in Sapphire.

Economic strain from paying for schooling caused the kind of stress that would send the twins’ parents to an early grave--- two deadly strokes within one year of each other--- but by the time they passed away, Molly had earned her scholarship to Staurolite College, and Valerie insisted that she didn’t let all of their parents’ sacrifices go to waste. They shipped off to Crystalline together, and saved money on Molly’s boarding by renting a cheap apartment above a rowdy pub in the Jade District.

Things went well for most of Molly’s schooling, with grief over the loss of their parents quelled by a change in scenery and a sense that they had a bright future ahead of them. Molly majored in biophysics with a minor in engineering, and worked a year-round part-time job shelving books at Crystalline Library, while picking up an additional jobs waitressing during the summers. When she started to feel more comfortable, she’d abandoned most of her anti-mutant politics in favor of keeping her head down and staying out of trouble.

--

Tragedy struck again shortly before Molly’s graduation, when a superhero’s pursuit of a villain escalated to a destructive brawl across rooftops in the Jade District, and the hero’s desperate outburst of power led to the complete decimation of Molly and Valerie’s apartment, with a hungover and housebound Valerie being fatally crushed in the rubble.

An uninsured Molly was left without a home, without a family, and without a purpose in life; powerless and hopeless. The end of the school year meant that she couldn’t even couch surf in her friends’ dorms for long, and after exhausting her savings and local resources in under a month, she was left on the streets in a near-catatonically traumatized state. 

--

After months passed with no response to his emails, a former professor of biophysics looked into whatever happened to the student of his who lost her apartment days before receiving her diploma, and he spread the harrowing results of his investigation to his colleagues. Word of Molly’s story eventually piqued the interest of politicians looking for anecdotes about the devastating downsides of letting mutants walk the streets of Crystalline, and it wasn’t long before Molly Watson became a person of major interest for the movement. 

With Autumn creeping in, cold nights and shivering skin shook Molly out of her depressed stupor, and the pressure to escape her situation started to weigh on her. So when she was tracked down by a scientist with the Sector of Humanity who had done extensive research into her history, she didn’t have enough endurance or dignity in her to turn down his proposition. In exchange for her to share her story with their journalists and make a few public appearances, he offered her his guest room, a guiding hand to get her education back on track, and an opportunity for her to work as an assistant research scientist in the Sector’s labs while she earned her Master’s degree at Staurolite.

While the gesture seemed nothing short of charitable and empathetic to a girl who fell through the cracks, more wisely cynical eyes would immediately realize that she was recruited to the doves for PR purposes. Her story was easily exploitable for anti-mutant hit pieces (a pretty, white, bookish, doe-eyed and angelic orphan who worked so hard to pull herself up by her bootstraps and pursue the American Dream™, only to have her future #RIPPED #AWAY by these ReCkLEsS mONsTErS!!!), and she already had a small grassroots following in the news cycles from other working-class non-mutant people who could relate to the plight of living at the mercy of superheroes, who made insurance unattainable and had no accountability behind their anonymity.

Though she is exceptionally bright, and a fast learner in STEM fields, the doves didn’t recruit a 22-year-old because she was the most qualified candidate for the position, but because the philanthropic act of “rescuing” fallen angel and giving her a cinderella story would be good for their image; it softened their reputation among skeptical humanists who thought their organization was too focused on tearing down the mutants and not concerned with uplifting the common people. She’s being used in marketing to bring in a younger generation of Doves, and they’re making sure her name and face is becoming more public than any allegedly brutal scientists on board, who may have some controversial scandals under their belts.

PERSONALITY !

Molly before she became an only child, a.k.a. Molly for her first four years in Crystalline, as a student at Staurolite and a part-time page at the Crystalline Public Library:

Molly was a sweet girl-next-door type, with a quaint small town charm that made her shy in a big city. A studious mom friend and perfectionist. She was used to being the voice of reason to keep her wild child of a sister from doing anything too dangerous, and that carried over into her friendships.

Because of her bashful nature, the strange and dry sense of humor that comes out when she gets comfortable ends to catch new friends off guard. She’s had a few people in her life that she’s been close enough to to playfully bicker with, and she holds her own in a way you wouldn’t expect. She has a taste for weird kitsch and earnestly terrible movies and pulp fiction, and always tried to make it to the Uptown Cinema’s weird midnight screenings of Ed Wood movies.

Always aspired to be a librarian, but never thought it was an ambitious enough career path when she expected she would have to make enough money to support her whole family and all of their massive debts. She’s always gravitated to working part-time jobs at libraries to make some extra cash, and used to shelve books at Crystaline Public Library for four years while she was an undergrad. She has a big affinity for genre-bro fiction; authors like Bradbury, Salinger, Faulker, Gaiman, Pratchett, Palahniuk, Alan Moore, and especially Vonnegut. Veered into more pretentious russian authors for the sake of conversational fluency when she hung around literature majors, but she’s always preferred her boyish fiction.

She never had a car, and always tried to save money on public transportation by riding her longboard to get from place to place whenever possible. More interested in the utility of skating than the #Thrasher culture. Came off as a bit of a spectacle when she was shredding across the city in a turtleneck dress and stockings.

Molly among the monsters, a.k.a. Molly as a Dove:

After she lost her home, an already timid Molly had completely retreated into herself, and the girl who could a least smile and laugh and go out to parties seemed to abandoned any range of emotion beyond numb absence and melancholic despair--- and that's the narrative the Doves try to push, to both the public and to Molly, erasing any history of wholesome hijinks or moments of genuine joy and solace she may have had while travelling in the same circle as plucky street urchin and jokester magician Jett Hawkins.

Since finding shelter and making her way back into academia, she’s at least made the appearance of coming back out of her shell. 

While her mental health is recovering from the toll that the streets’ harsh physical conditions were taking on her, she may not be healing properly. A mind left vulnerable and weathered is, of course, the easiest to mold and manipulate. And as her surface levels personality traits of calm smiles and composure come back, there’s something fundamentally different about her at her core.

Molly always had political leanings toward a preference for regulation of superheroes, and agreed with some canvasing her more radical sister did for government-enforced superpower blocking medication, but she never got too involved, for fear of getting on the bad side of gods walking among tiny mortals. 

With a lack of research into the fringe opposition to the Doves, she was too naive to truly understand what she was getting into in this organization, and it was easy for her to let her guard down when the scientists who saved her life were subtly priming her for the human rights atrocities she was about to witness in the labs.

Now, there is still a part of her core humanity and nuturing personality that may have survived her roughest days, and it still screams out in moral objection to what she's seen done to the mutants, but the survival instinct she developed knows that she's locked in with the Doves, and it knows that she doesn't exactly have anywhere else to go, and especially wouldn't be able to make it anywhere else if her betrayal of the anti-mutant scientific community gets her blacklisted from future job opportunities in Crystalline, or compromises her ability to finish her Master's degree.

She considers herself trapped in enabling inhumanity and doesn't have the emotional fortitude or stability to take a stand, still disturbed at heart, still waiting on a moment to exhale and truly mourn her sister. She holds it together on a surface level, and lets her shyness come off as icy silence, but anyone who can pay close enough attention might notice that she's the only scientist in the lab who flinches or has to subtly avert her eyes when one of the "test subjects" is being electrocuted. Fortunately for her, most of them seem to distracted by unimaginable agony to notice the wallflower in the back of the room.

WANTED CONNECTIONS!

THE SCIENTIST WHO TOOK HER IN TO HIS/HER/THEIR HOUSE!!!!!! I might send in an official wanted connection for this, but the gist is someone who's very tied to the anti-mutant cause and sees Molly either as a genuinely sympathetic victim of the mutants, or as a very useful prop to use to political pathos (possibly both!). This would be her closest contact in life, since they saved her from the darkest moment in her life, and she probably sees them as a surrogate family while her brain tries to cope with the realization that she has no biological kin left.

People who may have encountered her while she was bouncing between shelters or sleeping in playground tunnels. At the time, she was basically catatonic from the trauma, and probably easy prey for the thieves and the cretins lurking the streets. There’s definitely room for someone who picked up on that and either exploited it or tried to help her out. (The only condition is that it’s important that she wasn’t assisted by anyone who would actually help her get a permanent shelter, since it’s crucial to her story that she was a vagrant at the time that the Doves found her.)

People! Who! Knew! Valerie! Maybe Val’s former coworkers? Someone who traveled in the same anti-mutant activist circles as her? I haven’t decided what she did for a living yet, but I can tell you that she worked at least two jobs and was the more wild and outgoing of the twins, and definitely hung out in harder party scenes, so this could be any connection to Val, from a short-lived fling, to a best friend, to a coworker would work. I’m thinking Val might have worked at the dive bar below their apartment? 

And speaking of that dive bar, someone who used to frequent that pub in the run-down Jade district and might recognize Molly or Valerie from there would be cool, too! Maybe someone who got into a fight on the street in front of the place that Molly had to break up to get back inside, or even someone who got her to stop and smoke a cigarette outside the pub with them after a particularly stressful day.

CLASSMATES!!! CURRENT (Staurolite grad students) OR FORMER (undergrad Staurolute students)! Or just people in her age group who would hang around the same places the college students would chill at, like the bowling alley or The Neon Room. I think most characters went to Crystalline University while Molly went to Staurolite College, but maybe there’s an area between Staurolite and Crystal U where students from both campuses used to coalesce for housing and hanging out. People she used to tutor! People who used to drag her out of her shell and bring her to parties! People she used to stay in with to drink tea and study together! People who helped her rural ass assimilate to city life; and the flipside: people she would drag out of the city to go pumpkin picking every autumn!

She’s very inexperienced in the field of romance, so I can picture her having maybe one serious romantic relationship in her life, that she probably still thinks about a lot. So maybe someone who dated her a few years ago? Any gender ~

A N Y T H I N G there’s such a range of unique characters in this group, i feel like i can’t even begin to touch on all the possibilities in one WC section, so just shoot me a message and i’ll write up a list of ideas for your character to be connected to Molly, either through history together or a future plot!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #215

i’m not dead yet, just not into surveys very much lately.

What is your favorite dinosaur? Spinosaurus. <3 Would you rather live with wolves or tigers? Hypothetically, if I wouldn't be harmed, wolves. I love social species. Have you ever forgotten what a certain kind of pain felt like? Getting my nose re-pierced like fuck man. What do you remember the most about your childhood? I think the strongest memory is my parents not getting along. Or the stories I made playing with my favorite toys. Would you rather have a pet dinosaur or have mythical creatures be real? Have mythical creatures exist. I want a tame, little dragon. Do you have a favorite toy from childhood still? Astonishingly, no. I was incredibly surprised to find out I got rid of them at some point when I wanted to add the crocodile to my room as a cute decoration and memory. What are your thoughts on the end of the world? *shrug* Not like we can do anything about it, unless you count our own carelessness as a selfish species, but that won't actually end the "world," just mankind. Which sports do you enjoy watching? Dance. Would you ever have a breed of dog that is considered aggressive? I don't want another dog, but hypothetically, yes, because no species is inherently mean. It all depends on how the owner raises it. Have you ever made bread? No. Would your childhood self be disappointed? FUCK YES SHE WOULD BE. God, the thought is depressing. Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Animals and my niece. Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? Is it too far into imagination to say it's possible in the one we're already in? You have zombie viruses in things like bugs, so in time, something developing that can affect humans isn't out of the question. But anyway, anyone who answers "yes" to this, as in they'd like it, are full of shit. Most of us would die in a heartbeat. You'd witness others that you love die. Every day you question if you'll see the next. The zombie apocalypse has been so romanticized in many forms of media, but please, tell me you'll still be having fun when you watch your mother be eaten or some shit. Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No. What’s the wallpaper on your computer? A meerkat pup looking close up to the camera. What was the most difficult decision you’ve ever had to make? Deciding Jason couldn't be my entire world anymore and I had to let go. Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. There's a YouTube artist named Jonathan Young that I MARVEL over the fact he's not signed with someone. My mom didn't even believe he wasn't professional the first time I played some songs in the car. Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm certain I could. What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? A greenish-blue van. What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? I don't know. I'm not really that rebellious. Pick one: Laundry, Dishes, or Vacuuming? I actually don't mind vacuuming. Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No. Name the most meaningful thing a non-relative has done for you. When my former best friend let me live with her while we were homeless. Memories like that sometimes make me question my decision to cut her off permanently... though I remind myself the bad outweighed the good and our relationship was just never going to be stable. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; Choose your route. Depends on what's quicker to save gas. Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It depends on the situation. Tbh I think I give up more often. Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so. Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; Do you give them one of yours? That's my girlfriend. So duh. Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. I physically met Sara. Do you end up regretting things you say often? I don't know about often. Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hopefully being financially stable. Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yeah. You own a huge business; what is it? I can't even imagine myself owning a "huge" business. Are you afraid to ask for help when you know that you need it? Sometimes. Depends on who I'm asking. Name somebody you think died before their time. A LOT OF PEOPLE. I think above all of my options, Steve Irwin. Fucking saint, teacher, and pilot of conservation and loving our fellow animals. Name the possession you’ve had the longest. I have a lot of infancy stuffed animals up in the attic. You’re writing a novel; Is it horror, mystery, romance, etc.? Fantasy. Would you consider yourself an interesting person in general? I guess. I know I'm at least different. Have you ever gotten in trouble for running up your phone bill? No. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I don't plan on changing the style any time soon. Hopefully at some point soon I can get to the damn hair salon and get it dyed lilac, though. But it'll be expensive for a pro to do it (I'm very much so done with anyone less trying to do so, as it always fails), so that's something I don't think will come soon. It's not high on my priorities. Who was the last person to see you cry? Is this person special? I'm sure it was my mom. Probably. Of course she is. What season would you like the world to experience year-round? Autumn. When was the last time you took a picture of something? Was it yourself? Lmao it was of something funny on Facebook that I texted to Sara a few days ago. Are you currently drifting away from anyone? Who is it? No. Would you say you are really close to the members of your family? Most, no. I barely see anyone outside my immediate fam. Is there anyone who lives in the same house as you, that you can’t stand? The stupid dog. Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? No, but it was likely RP-related. Think of the last person you kissed, when was the first time you talked to them on the phone? She knows I hate talking over the phone, so we use Skype to talk. I think the first time I called her via phone though was when I was having an emotional breakdown. What does your phone do when you get a new message? It makes the sound from Spyro when you pick up gems if it's not on vibrate, and when the screen goes black, a green light blinks. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yes, for the time. Who was the last person you were in a car with? Mom. Do you party too much? I never did. Who were you last on the phone with? I answered a number I didn't recognize, and it wound up being some bullshit about my car warranty or something when I don't even have a car. I just hung up the moment I knew what it was. Last movie you watched? The Lion King live action remake. Incredible. If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Fuck, I want collarbone dermals so badly. Do you like holding hands? With Sara. Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked? Yes. What are you listening to? "Third Day of a Seven Day Binge" by Manson is on rn. Do your parents allow you to date? I'm 23. They never really restricted me from it. Then again, I started dating in the 7th grade, so I was older than most first couples. Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad? Yes. Would you rather have long or short hair? I could not be happier than I have short hair now. It's so much easier to manage, and it really did me well chopping it all off considering my bad self-care episodes. I recommend it soooo much to anyone struggling with that. Do you want to have children? Big No. Do you think you’ll have the same boyfriend/girlfriend a year from now? Realistically, yes. How old were you when you stopped sleeping with a nightlight? I don't know. What topic did you write your last essay about? This awful book "Masters of Doom" or whatever I had to read in game design in college, I think. Whose car did you ride in last other than yours? Dad's. What was the last clothing article you purchased? Some pants. Who was the last person that made you cry [accidentally or on purpose]? Probably myself. Is there construction going on in/near your neighborhood? No. Who did you go/plan on going with to prom? I went to Jason's senior prom and he came to mine. What language[s] did you study in school? Latin for one awful semester, then German for four. I miss German, honestly. Have you ever been to a debate and speech tournament? Hell no, that sounds so boring. Choose two dead celebs who could be your biological parents - explain why? Steve Irwin for my incredible love of animals and uh... I'm not sure about a mom? I thought about this for like two minutes and really don't know lmao. If you were living in the past, which job that doesn’t exist anymore would you like to have? No idea. Which animal are you afraid of? Most afraid of, probably some spiders, like huntsmen spiders. I'm afraid of most spiders in general (if they're near me or in my house, anyway), I cannot stand maggots and larvae of that sort, and whale sharks freak me out. AND WASPS. FUCK WASPS. How would your wedding bouquet look like? *shrugs* It would probably depend on the wedding theme. What kind of game would you like to play that doesn’t exist yet? I can't even swallow how unbelievable Shadow of the Colossus would be in VR. What is one thing you would never ever eat? Escargot. Is there a music video that you would like to see turned into a movie or a TV show? Which one? *shrugs* Which character in your favorite movie do you hate the most? It's impossible to hate any from TLK. How do you think the world will end? A meteor striking, or a deadly volcano going boom. Either way, it's gonna be smoke shrouding the sun. Do you own anything clown related? No. If you were a celebrity - which celebs you would befriend? Y'all done know one, but I think the celeb I would connect to most and most easily befriend would be Shane Dawson. He is such a goddamn sweetheart, chill as fuck, and #relatable. There's really a lot... All YT-related lmao. Except Bindi Irwin. Damn, would I love to meet her. If you were going to make a horror movie that you would be scared of yourself, what would it be about/how would it look like? I can't handle those movies about women being raped and impregnated by a demon and shit. I can't. Fuck The Rite. If you could take a pill that would cure something in you that isn’t an illness - what would you be cured off? How ungodly shy and awkward I am. Ew. Do you like Rihanna? I don't know most of her music, but I don't enjoy most pop, so. Have you ever experienced hydroplaning? Not severely, anyway, and not while I was driving. What’s your opinion on the legalization of weed? Legalize it medicinally. What’s your current favorite song? Man idk. Have you ever hit a girl? I hit my sister once as a kid. What was your New Year's resolution? I don't make them. Do you find Eminem attractive? Not particularly. Are you wearing nail polish? I never do. Have you ever been/considered being vegetarian? I was for a couple months and definitely plan on going back to it once I get to the weight I want... if that ever fucking happens. What’s the last concert you went to? Alice Cooper. Do you own a cat? Yes. :') He's my best buddy. Do you like cats? I love cats. Do you like watching music videos? No. How are your grades? I'm not back in school yet. But SOON. Do you listen to Aerosmith? YO "Love In An Elevator" just finished on my iTunes. I love them. Have you climbed a tree in the past month? I never have. Were you ugly in middle school? Jfc save that child. What’s your type? CHARISMATIC. Stand out, man, and be proud of it. Having a smart head isimportant, too. Having a loving heart. Have a good sense of humor. Don't judge. Do you sleep with one of those mask things on your face? No. Have you ever straightened your hair? Yes. What kind of calculator do you use? The one on my phone or laptop. Have you ever seriously tried to count the stars? Lol no. Did you see the lunar eclipse? I'm guessing you're talking about the biggie from early this year? Yes. It was incredible. Do you have a bank account? No. Did you go on vacation last summer? What's a "vacation?" Where to? N/A Have you ever been in a choir? At church as a kid as well as elementary school. Are you happy with your looks? No. Have you ever gone streaking? You couldn't have paid me to do so even when I was in great shape. Are any of your siblings married? Yes. Were you in the wedding party? Yes. Have you ever seen a ghost? I've sure as hell seen something. Do you even believe in ghosts? I absolutely do. Have you ever had an eating disorder? Thank God no. What big corporation(s) do you support, particularly because you like what they stand for (many vegan items, donate large amount of money to charities, pay their workers a living wage, etc)? I'm really not educated on the morals behind most businesses. Oh, I do know Jeffree Star's products are entirely vegan and cruelty-free though, so his company definitely is one. If you wear foundation or have in the past, what type of applicator do you use (beauty sponge, foundation brush, fingers, etc)? Is there a type of applicator that doesn’t work for you? I've always just used my hands because we don't have anything else for foundation, I think. For those of you that do listen/watch ASMR videos, what are your favorite “triggers”? If you don’t watch ASMR, what are your thoughts on the whole phenomenon that seemed to happen the past couple years over it? I don't listen to it, but I don't care if others do. It doesn't do anything for me. I personally find the talking ones super uncomfortable, but if someone likes that, whatever. Are there any true crime cases that bother you immensely because of the story or verdict of the court case (ex. OJ Simpson)? I know there're some I've seen on Facebook and such. Do you use store loyalty programs? If you don’t use them, what is your reasoning behind that? What store loyalty programs do you feel offer the best incentives, regardless if you aren’t a member of them? I think I am for Hot Topic? I know I have a card for there. I think Sam's Club is a great place to have membership; that place has some damn deals. Mom used to be one, as well as an employee, and that shit was great. When it comes to skincare, what product could you not go without over the other ones? Where are you most likely to shop for your skincare needs? I could go without any, save of course for a wet washcloth. If I get something for skincare, it's just gonna be at Wal-Mart. Regardless if you aren’t someone who hoards or keeps stuff for a long time, what is one (type of) item that you have a hard time getting rid of? STUFFED ANIMALS. FUCKING CHRIST. If you eat meat, what is at least one vegan item (not necessarily a banana) that you like or would like trying (such as trying a soy ham substitute)? If you don’t eat meat, what is one meat item that you like and understand why people eat it? I have no idea. Being vegan just sounds... gah. I couldn't imagine. Major respect for vegans, man. What is a food that is always better homemade? How about a food that is always better at a restaurant? I don't know about the homemade one. Maybe like... cobblers? Meanwhile, steaks tend to be better at restaurants, I've found. If you watched teen dramas growing up (such as 90210 or One Tree Hill), which one was your favorite or you liked the best? If you watched family sitcoms growing up (such as Full House or The Fresh Prince), which one was your favorite or liked the best? I'm not sure if I watched teen dramas. For family sitcoms, ummm... I loooooooooooved/still love The Nanny. I like the two mentioned as well. What is a tradition either within your country or family that you feel is not needed or could in fact even be bad (ex. using paper plates for every party, eating hot dogs every weekend during the summer, etc)? Getting drunk as a motherfucker on New Year's Eve. Is there something you said you wouldn’t do, but in the end you did it? Yeah, a few things. Are you originally an American, or are you some other kind of nationality? I'm just American, save for like, if ancestry is involved. Then I originate from Europe. Do you sometimes pretend to do things you don't know how to do? No? What was the last compliment you remember someone gave to you? Who was it? Hm, I don't know. Have you ever had one of those pregnancy scares? When did this take place? Two completely unrealistic ones in high school. Are you someone who puts ranch dressing on everything you eat? No. Have you ever personally been friends with a stripper or prostitute? Not to my knowledge. What, to you, is the best way a guy can smell? Give examples? I personally like gentle colognes. How many times a day, on average, do you think critically about something? Twice or so. Are you someone who speaks their mind, or do you hold it all in? It depends. Where do you work at this moment in time? Does this place have insurance? I don't currently work bc I can't be a functioning adult in a work environment without collapsing into panic attacks. :^) If you have tattoos, which one that you have was the most painful? The inside of my forearm. Are you currently in the process of ‘bettering’ yourself as a person? I'm trying to grow more independent. What is something you tend to not be able to stand in the least bit at all? Anti-LGBT bullshit. OH BOY, or anti-vax insanity. Do not even interact with me if you're a "vaccines cause autism" imbecile. Does it make you angry when people complain an excessive amount around you? If it's over stupid shit or an issue you brought about yourself, then yes. At what age did you actually hit puberty? Was it hard for you to handle? I don't remember, and yes, it was. I remember crying outside the day I got my first period because I realized I wasn't a kid anymore. Are you considered a graceful person or are you more clumsy? I'm the clumsiest fuck you'll meet in your entire life. Have you ever sucked in helium? Did your voice change at all? No. Do you know any girls who have an overly manly voice and features? Girls can't be "overly manly," just as men can't be "overly feminine." Do you play any sports? If so, did you meet new friends that way? I did, and yes. Do people ever make fun of you for something you really can't help? No. Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? No. Have you ever tried chocolate chip waffles? Are they now your favorite? Yes; no. What company are you signed up for car insurance, if any at all? N/A Are you someone who really likes to cook? What’s your favorite meal? No. Are you the candle lighting type? I prefer incense. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? If he looks anything like he did, yeah. But I haven't even seen a picture of him in forever. Coffee in the morning, yay or nay? Don't like coffee. Do you ever drink your coffee black? N/A Body waxing, yay or nay? Ow, I would never do it. Honeymoon, where? I'd love the pink beaches of the Bahamas... but fuck Bermuda's Triangle, my conspiracy theory ass ain't going near that shit lmao. The black beach in I think... Scotland or whatever will do. Anal sex, yay or nay? Never tried, never will. The concept just really grosses me out. Has anyone ever written on you? Probably. Have you ever dated a fat person? I'd prefer the term "overweight," but w/e, once or twice depending on if you count one relationship as "dating." How many foreign friends do you have? In which countries do they live? Quite a few, having been on the Internet so long... I've got some in Europe and one in Australia. How long have you known the oldest friend you have? "Old" as in who I've had the longest? Since I was ten, I think. If you include my "real" friends. What’s the most interesting story you’ve never told anybody? Good question. When’s the last time you went to a bookstore? What did you buy? Last year when we were threatened by a really bad hurricane. I got The Fault In Our Stars and only read like... ten pages lmao. It wasn't because the book was bad, I just don't read anymore. What’s the most complicated meal you’ve cooked? Hunty I can't cook. I've cooked scrambled eggs and spaghetti like once lmao. What is truly attractive to you? Wisdom, for one. Have you ever come up with your own game? As a kid, yeah. What is something you value a lot in your life? The fact I have my mom in my life hit me first. I. Don't know where the fuck I'd be in life right now if my mom wasn't here with me. Whose hand did you hold last? Sara's. What was the last thing you planted? Oh boy, I have no idea. Oh wait, years ago I grew habaneros only to find out non-pickled ones are fucking gross. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? I have no clue. I don't really do that. Did anything exciting happen just before you went to sleep last night? Well, my cat literally peed on Mom. That was "exciting." When’s the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? I don't know. What’s the most selfless act you have done? Man, a lot of "I don't know" in this one. You see a spider web in the corner of your room. What do you do? I'm finding that guy or moving. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? No. How do you like your favorite beverage? Cold. What’s your big family secret? We don't have one. Do you answer the phones at your work? I don't have a job. Have you ever given up on someone and then went back to them? Many, many times with my former best friend. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? I do every single night, and it sucks ass. What shows do you watch? None. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't know. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah. When’s the last time you had a headache? I think I had a mild one a few days ago? I don't remember. My days are sooo blurred together. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? A whole lot. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating of on you? Yeah, because of his ex and a believable lie. It was ultimately a good thing that that was what immediately turned me away though, as I don't want to imagine how a long-term relationship with him would've gone, honestly. Who was the last person you kissed? Sara. Do you still talk to the person who hurt you the most in life? No. Who’s the last person you sent a friend request to? I've no clue. I don't really send requests because I don't know more friends on there. Is anyone in your family a criminal? Not by blood. Who was the last person you told to shut up? I don't recall; I don't tell people to shut up, generally. I haven't had a confrontation in a long time, besides the occasional arguments with my mom, and I wouldn't tell her to shut up. What was the last thing you lied to your mother about? I don't remember. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No. Name a song that reminds you of a past relationship: I could name 50 that remind me of Jason and myself if I cared enough to. Do you think anyone hates you? One person probably does, at least. What do you think your last ex would say about you? I don't know, but probably something nice. He's my closest friend irl. Do you still talk to the first person you fell in love with? No. Do you still want the last person that hurt you to have a happy life? Yeah. Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? No. I, along with like every girl in class, found a former band teacher attractive, but I definitely didn't have an actual crush on the dude. Thank God considering he was eventually fired for relations with a student. Why did your last relationship end? I learned I didn't like him romantically, and also because I discovered I liked Sara instead. How long did it take you to get over your last heartbreak? A year and a half. And that's just when I started moving on. Do you know anyone that looks up to you? I doubt it. Which one of your friends is always serious? I don't think any qualify for that. Are there any people in your life that you wish you never met? Yeah. Do people think you’re a bad person? Probably someone. Do they also think that you’re a slut? I don't see how a single person could think that. Are you with the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever been punched? No. How many people do you know that have been to jail? Multiple. Three off the very top of my head. Do you know anyone that sells drugs? I don't think so? Do you know anyone that does drugs? Yes. Do you care about what’s happening in other countries? Well yeah. I care about the world being a good, safe place. Do you think you have a pretty good reputation? I guess, at least as far as being a decent person goes. Meanwhile, I'm sure my rep as being a proper adult and such is shit. Where do you see yourself in 25 years? I don't want to think of that. You’re at a bar, you witness a man drugging some girls drink. What do you do? I'm not even REMOTELY kidding, I'm knocking the fucker OUT, calling the cops, and of course telling the girl. Fuck that guy getting out of that without a black eye. Who is more attractive, someone who is edgy or preppy? I could never, ever be attracted to a preppy person, so guess. I wouldn't want an excessively edgy person either, but I'm NOT into the preppy jazz. Short term dating, or long relationship? I've always been about long-term relationships. Kids? How many? Why? Names? Boy or girl? *Bugs Bunny "no" meme* Ever play that game MASHO?? "I’ve played MASH. I don’t know if MASHO is similar or something different entirely." <<< Same. A sad child, skinny and underfed, approaches you. What do you do? Obviously ask them what's up if they approach me, and from there, it would depend on what they tell me. I'd most likely call the cops first about a child like that because I wouldn't know the appropriate place to actually call; if the kid is underfed to an obvious degree, odds are I shouldn't find their parents first. I'd think it wiser to get some kind of officer to do so and determine if that child should even be with those people for their own good. What happens after death? I hope some kind of peace, but who really knows. Would you cheat on your BF/GF if you knew they would never know? No??????? Because I would know?????????????? And I have a conscience???????????????????????? Do you think there will ever be peace on earth? Why or why not? No. People as a whole can't get along and too many find violence to be the ultimate solution to big problems. Favorite childhood story growing up? I remember I particularly liked Stellaluna because of the drawings, and I enjoyed the actual story of Chrysanthemum. Worst way to die? Why? Some form of slow torture, I'm sure. Because if you've gotta die, make it quick. And humane. What were you in school? Jock, nerd, prep etc… I was recognized as an emo/metalhead thing. Did you ever eat playdoh at a child? I don't think so. Your dreams tend to be? As of the late, violent, at least those that I remember... I wake up attacking the air a lot. Describe your aesthetic? A quiet pastel bunny and a furious but awkward gothic demon are aggressively fucking 24/7 while trying to decide who's top and who's bottom. Do you believe in the afterlife? I believe in something. What book have you re-read so many times that the cover is completely worn? None. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm in a brighter mood in the morning. Who do you most admire? There're multiple people I look up to for different things. But as for most, yeah, probably Mark. What is your favorite thrift/antique shop find? I love this shipwreck lamp that I have. What is the most incredible place in nature you’ve visited? The mountains. What is your greatest achievement? Still being alive lmao. Is something expensive better than something made with love? Almost never. What do you think of stealing? Uh, don't do it??????? If you could be told when you were going to die, would you want to know? NO. What would you do in case of the zombie apocalypse? Die very early on lmao. Okay but realistically, I'd want to climb somewhere. I'm going to assume a zombie can't figure out ladders 'n shit. What have you learned from pain? You yourself play a big part in making things better. Are you more worried about doing things right or doing the right thing? Doing the right thing. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Eat biscuits like a fucking caveman by separating parts and eating each individually lol. Would you ever adopt a child? If I actually wanted a kid, yeah. If you could make anything glow in the dark, what would it be? *shrugs* Could you ever picture someone writing a biography about you? Hell no, my life's uneventful as could be.

[bytheanchorarchived]

Hey, guys, B here. 2018 has been a pretty bumpy year for a lot of us, including me. It was an year of many battles, and some disappointments, and yet full of trying and hope. It has also been the year when I met, or got closer to a lot of people who’ve made me so happy, and helped me through the way, in real life, and also just inspiring me on this blog, and making me feel appreciated and talented. I know a lot of people make this distinction between internet, and real life friends, but I wanted all of you to know I never have, and I never will. Friends are friends, it doesn’t matter to me how we met, or how we communicate. It was thanks to them that I’m still here and that I grew to feel confident enough on my portrayals to love them, and a bit more of myself too. And that means everything. From those, some, are not around anymore, or might not be for a while, but I still wish them to know one day what they’ve meant to me, and take that feeling with them as they move forward. That’s all I can wish for all of you, that I can be a part of any happy memory you have in the future.

I also hope 2019 can be a happier year for all of us, and that at least we all get closer to our dreams, one step at a time. And as a last note, I hope you can forgive me any screw ups I might have made, or just still remember the good things too, and hope to be better myself on the coming year. 

Happy New Year!

there's glitter on the floor after the party .

✲ @angelavenged ✲

dani, thank you so much for coming into my life, and helping to light up the end of this year. thank you for reminding me why i love isabelle so fiercely, and for speaking out about her when this fandom needs it so much. thank you for listening to my ramblings about the lightwood siblings, and for boarding the crazy ships with me, that i’ve always secretly loved in my heart. thank you for sharing headcanons with me, and discussing minute details of the book that mean the whole world to us, and making me feel like there was someone there with me to treasure every bit of it. thank you for being a light as bright and bold as isabelle, and i can only say i hope you will keep on writing her, and lighting up our dashes with her on the next year and for a long while yet.

✲ @cateyeswarlock​​ / @headarcher​ ✲

i’ve said this a few days ago, and the more time i get to spend with you, the more true this becomes, but you are one of the gentlest persons i’ve met. we haven’t talked for long, but you are a bright, enthusiastic presence on my dash, that always makes me smile. thank you for listening, for being kind, for being so engaging and easy to plot with, and just try new things with. thank you for sparkling like magnus on our dashes, and being as comforting as alec to have around. 

✲ @dnteverdoubtme​ ✲

andy, meu amor. i’ll always be thankful to min for introducing us. you waltzed into my life, when i most needed to feel wanted, and it was exactly what you did. at first i was afraid to mess it all up, but the more we talked, and the more we interacted, the more at home i felt. you filled my days, and long waking nights with magic, never turning any idea away, building new worlds with me, new characters, making me feel excited, and happy to be here. you gave me purpose, and kindness, and made me feel alive in days when i just really didn’t. you made me love creating aus again, and brought back the joy of rping for rp’s sake, and just having the pure joy of knowing your portrayal was loved, and that there was someone always willing to explore it with you. you made me smile when i was heartbroken, listened to me without judgement, and gave me endless stories to read that we created together, whenever you weren’t around. you encouraged me to dream, and plan, and try new things, and even if some of them didn’t work out, you made me feel strong enough, and like i had someone to lean on, so that i could be brave to want them in the first place. you truly made me feel like my jace has a home, and like maybe i did too. i love you beyond words, and hope you can know that, and know that you and your alec hold a precious spot in my heart, and i’ll always carry you with me.

i'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day .

✲ @edomsmagnificent​ ✲ 

we’ve only just started, but what’s more wonderful than talking with someone for the first time and feeling as though you’re just meeting an old friend? since we started really talking, and interacting, this end of the year, you’ve immediately made me feel comfortable, excited to write, heard, and supported. thank you for being so open and easy to talk to, plot with, thank you for being just as excited as i am about ships, and being so willing to share your talents with me. i hope we go on to write a lot more together on the year to come.

✲ @erosbuilt​ ✲ 

cy, i don’t know if i was ever able to give you back even half of the excitement, care, joy, and encouragement you’ve given me, but i hope i was at least able to make you feel a bit as loved. when you met me, i was going through one of the hardest moments of my life yet, and for the first time in a long time you gave me back the spark to write. you made me feel praised, cherished, and like my portrayal was somehow unique and special, and that so was i. we spent so many nights up together, just writing, and talking, and sharing, and developing new worlds at light speed, and i rediscovered what it felt like to truly love a fandom based otp so much it hurt. i found that passion again with you, and it was truly when jalec latched onto my heart, for good, and for months i could not think of them without thinking you and i. you made me excited to lose sleep writing. you made me proud of every little line i was creating, and as though what i was doing was important, and it mattered. you shared your life with me, and made me feel as if i knew you better than anyone. you made a terrible patch a lot easier, and i know it wasn’t always easy for you either, but i truly hope somehow i might have eased some of it too. you listened to me, even when it was hard for you, and you made me feel special, and actually worthy of some kind of admiration, like i hadn’t believed in for a long time. i will always be grateful for meeting you, and for everything you’ve given me, even in a short time. i know i wouldn’t have come to feel competent, or even mildly like i know what i’m doing in writing in this crazy language, if it weren’t for your encouragement, and i hope you know that, even if i can’t always be as equally deserving in everything. you’re someone whose strength i admire, and you’ve come so far on your own hard work, and i know you’ll keep doing so on the time to come. i hope you always remember those first couple of months when we lived and breathed a ship and bonded fast over screaming headcanons at each other, and mutual cherishing. i know i always will. 

✲ @erchommai​ ✲

so, though i’ve seen you around for forever, we haven’t really interacted until lately (apart from the middle of the year when you first reached out to me, just to be nice, and comfort me, and if that doesn’t say everything idk what does), and all i can say is, what a waste of time that was. i was so intimidated, but from the first time we started talking, all i felt was welcomed, and that somehow you were as excited as i was about writing together, or just talking the books and headcanons and theories with each other. there’s no better feeling to get us bubbly and happy, imo, than finding someone that allows us to express ourselves and responds with the same openness and enthusiasm. it makes us feel less alone, and like we’re anything but dumb for liking what we like, and treasuring what makes us feel good. so thank you for being already such a great rp partner, and for being just such a sweet person to talk to. you definitely made a hard end of the year better for me, and that is everything. i wish for a new year of hopefully more writing for us, and for getting to know you better, and for you a year of happiness. 

hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you .

✲ @fairisfair​​ ✲ 

d sweet. i know we haven’t written in a long time, but how is it that it’s so easy still to just get back into the universe we created together and start typing? you’ve made me so happy for such a long time, and even now just seeing you on my dash feels like being home with an old friend. you treasured my characters in a time when i wasn’t sure they were all that treasure worthy. you welcomed all of my headcanons, and character build, and gave me yours, and somehow made it all even better than when i’d started. you helped me consolidate so much of my portrayal of seb and sidney and made me feel like they were truly loved, and for that alone i will always love you. i wanted to say thank you for coming all this way with me. thank you for never forgetting me even when rp drifted us apart, thank you for still after all this time making me feel treasured and loved and wanted around. you helped me improve my writing like no other with endless complexes threads, and your replies always gave me a reason to smile. it’s like from day one we were dancing a dance we both had already rehearsed and when we write together it’s magic. that is so special, and so rare to find, and i hope no matter what we can stay connected in the times to come. i love you, always, and wish you to feel just as treasured as you go on, as you’ve made me feel. thank you for all of it. 

✲ @fierccisms​ ✲ 

you were one of the first people to listen to me babble on about my childhood lightwood headcanons. you talked to me about their inner relationships, and you let me strengthen floating ideas into actual portrayals. you talked to me about izzy, and helped me build mine up, and make her strong. you were so kind and such a good presence on my dash, and so easy to talk to. i know we haven’t talked in a while, and sometimes things get hard for both of us, but i just wanted  you to know that you are such a wonderful person, full of enthusiasm and generosity. and i truly hope you go on finding more people that will treasure that and make you feel as welcomed and happy, in life, as you’ve made me, in a strange fandom. thank you for everything.

✲ @heartguided​ ✲

clary, sweetheart. i adore you so much. i know it’s been a while, but i hope you don’t forget it. you were the first person to make me feel like my jace portrayal was any kind of special, or different. you were the one who opened the doors of the fandom for me, when i was still tiptoeing my way in, and trying to figure it all out. you made me feel valued, and gave me strength to be bolder and reach out to people i was too scared to reach out to, before. you made me feel like i was a part of it, and i’m certain i would had never made quite a few of the friends i did if it hadn’t been for you giving me a chance. you are such a talent, and such a wonderful person, and were always only kind, and loving to me, and i will always carry that with me. thank you for sharing your alec with me, and i can’t tell you how happy i am that you’ve found your own happiness this year. you deserve all of the love and joy in this world, and i truly hope the years to come only bring you closer and closer to that happy ending. i love you.

please, don't ever become a stranger .

✲ @heosphors​ ✲ 

bekah, fierce warrior princess. you were such a beacon of light, and an inspiration to me in this fandom, but also in life. you are so young, and have so much more grit and maturity than so many people i know. you made me want to strive to better myself as a writer, as an rp partner, and as a person. you made me want to be brave, and rise up, and protect the things i loved, and share my voice, without being scared of what someone that didn’t like it might do. you made me feel courageous for the smallest little steps i took in real life, towards a life you were already building for yourself, even being so much younger than me. i have no doubts you’ll go far in life. and if you see this, i hope you know you are a wonderful, incredible, survivor, who deserves nothing if not the best in this world. thank you for sharing with me your light, your thoughts, your headcanons, your writing, your support, your example, and just the privilege of seeing your passion for the things you love. 

✲ @heronsofprey​ ✲ 

javi. i know it’s been a while, but i also know you check on this blog every now and then, and i wanted to tell you how loving and incredible you are. it’s not always easy for me to be as supportive as i wished i could be, but i hope my shortcomings don’t keep you from always knowing what amazing times you’ve given me. you’ve shared so much love in writing with me, and so many times you’ve made me feel like a rockstar. you listened to me several times when i needed someone, and you made me feel like someone understood, even though you, yourself, always had so much more in your plate than i ever did, you never made me feel like an imposition for it. you are such a brilliant soul, and i wish with all my heart that you find only happiness, and love going forward. i know your creativity, talent, and generosity, alone will get you there. 

✲ @idumean​ / @parabates​  ✲

monroe ♥. raziel’s beard what a waste it was to spend so much time intimidated as i did, and too shy to reach out, or even follow you, afraid of ghosts in my head that never came true. you are a joy to have in my life, and i want you to always know that. you are one of the best writers i’ve ever met, in any fandom, and i could only wish i had realized sooner that you are also one of the best people i’d ever have the pleasure to meet. so much undeserved crap was thrown your way this year, and yet, you continue to be such a source of light, understanding, caring, gentleness, that i can only be in awe of you. already you’ve listened to me in moments i thought no one else would, and you helped me through a couple of the worst nights i’ve had this year, and i can only hope i’ve managed to help you too. you’ve given me this welcoming feeling and made me excited about this blog again. you made me want to write when i thought i had lost my muse, and made me feel special when i wanted to quit. i still don’t understand how someone as great as you can be this humble, but i can only hope you never let it overpower you knowing how amazing you are. how deserving you are of all good things in life. you are so quietly strong, so beautifully resilient in the face of so much, and often i just sit here and wish there were better ways for me to express how much i love and cherish you. i look up to you, as a writer, and as a friend, and if nothing else sticks, i hope this does. i love you. i wish for a new year of writing together, and getting to know each other even more, and you always know that when you’re with me, you’re with someone who thinks only the best of you.

i’ll stay when it's hard or it's wrong or we're making mistakes .

✲ @inkfated​​  ✲ 

moony, love. i don’t think i ever told you just how much i cherish you as a writing partner. i can’t begin to tell you how many times i thought of just giving it up, and you would come around with wonderful replies that made my heart full again, and made me excited to write again. you are so freaking delightful to write with, not only because of how amazingly talented you are at every single one of your portrayals, but also because you don’t just ditch things halfway through, or easily gives up on plot whenever there’s a bump on the road. instead, you take those and make the plot even greater. you listen to my simplest ideas and give them so much richness, complexity, and layers, in your writing, that i am always, always excited to write with you. you put so much detail and thought, into every single thing you do, and damn this fandom is just so lucky to have you?? i know we don’t always chat ooc that much, but i also wanted you to know that i often just stare at your posts on my dash, and smile, and it makes my heart warm, and i hope you know i think of you as an old friend. i hope you never stop writing your portrayals because they really are so special, and i specially hope we can keep writing together for a long time and you have as much fun with it as i do. i am thankful for every single plot we’ve ever had, and no matter how many times you hop blogs i will always follow you, because you make my rp life so much better every single day. thank you for keeping our verses, our threads, for always being up for new things, for bringing up your own new amazing ideas, and never making me feel like you’ve grown tired of our pairings, or that i’m the only one excited to write them. it means everything to me. thank you, and i hope you feel as cherished as you are in the year to come!

✲ @magnusbanedfromperu​ / @aestheticdriven​   ✲ 

nanda bee. i’ve said it a thousand times that i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, but how literal that has become through the last three years. i know we’ve had our ups and downs throughout it, but i honestly believe (and like to) that it’s only made us stronger, and you, of all people, know how much that means to me. so many of my relationships crumbled under the smallest obstacle, but somehow we manage to stay together and stay strong, no matter what. even when i want to give up on everything, you never give up on me, and i don’t know what i would have done the last years if it weren’t for you. you are someone whom i genuinely find myself trusting will be around, and likes being around me, and enjoys more than writing with me, and that alone is so much more than i’ve often had through the years. you are wiling to listen to me, even when it’s hard to, and you want to hold on to me as much as i want to hold on to you, and that makes everything easier. i don’t think i’ve ever had someone want to be my friend as badly as i want to be theirs, before you, and for that feeling to last for as long as it had, i hope you know how much i hold it dear. you’ve brought me so much happiness since we met, and made me feel strong, and heard even when i was hurt, or didn’t think that i could be. we’re so different in so many regards, but it just seems to make things better, and more often than not matter at all, when at the end of the day, we just want to be friends, and nurture what we have, above everything else. i am so grateful to you, repeatedly, and you gave me the strength and understanding i needed to even start to progress any, for the first time in my life. and, of course, you are one of the best writing partners i’ve ever had. with you, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, because things never go stale, never lose the excitement of writing, and it doesn’t matter how many new shining things we create, we never stop treasuring the first plots and verses that brought us here. you not only helped me feel like i even could write the characters i do today, and strengthen them, but you actually managed to make me feel as though our crackship is the most special one in the world, much more than even our canon otps, and how many times can you find that? that alone would have earned you a spot in my heart forever, even if it weren’t for how lovely you are, and always try to be, to me, no matter what. i love you. happy new year, and plenty times of accomplishments and happiness for you. 

✲ @ofdemonicmagic​  ✲

richard, richie, our magnus incarnate. you know, i’ve said this before to a lot of people, but i’m not sure i ever said it to you. there are very few characters i love as i love magnus bane, and you, darling, are the most magnus bane person i’ve ever met, and as a result, i love you just as immensely as i would if he were real. you are bright, happy, talented as hell, loving, generous, always willing to help, extravagant, wonderfully excessive, amazingly bold, and beautifully full of life, and does that remind you of someone? i could not be luckier than to get to write with you, and, honestly, if it hadn’t been for you, i don’t know where my alec would be today. you helped me strengthen him, and make him into something solid. you made me feel like i had something special with him, and you gave me your jaw dropping portrayal in return, as though it was entirely natural that i could keep up. you’ve made me smile every single time we talked, ever since i met you. and though we’re not always as close as i’d wish us to be, i’m never sad about it, because every time you are around, you make it feel like we never stopped talking. more than verses, you helped give my alec a voice, no matter how extravagant our threads got, and that has brought me more joy than i can ever say. so thank you. thank you for listening to me when i needed. thank you for sharing your life with me, and being such a pleasure to have as a friend. thank you for making me feel like i had a real magnus bane in my life, and just thank you for existing in this world. you’re one of the greatest people i’ve ever met, and just the happiness of having you be yourself around my dash, would already be worth everything. i wish you a coming year with more love than ever, and that your life keeps blossoming with all the colors and happiness you deserve.

and I will hold on to you .

✲ @ofgoldenblood​ / @lilithblooded​ / @runedarcher​ ✲ 

min, sweet min, protective, incredible, stupidly talented min. i have never told you this, but you are the person that has made me feel safest, in a very, very, long time. it’s no wonder you play our shadowhunters so wonderfully, because you are just as fierce, strong, and protective as they are (except jon when he sucks). you’re the kind of friend i wish i’d had from earlier in my life, when i so needed to feel like there was someone who would defend me, and be there for me, no matter what. you are the kind of friend i will always wish to be closer to, and will always long to give back to all the support, care, encouragement, and loving you’ve given me. even when i didn’t know how to handle being cheered on, you were there. when i slipped on not knowing what i deserved, you were there. and when i thought of someone i adored with all my heart, you were there. you introduced me to amazing people who have made me so happy, and you shared them with me, without ever requiring anything in return. and most of all, you gave me yourself, your friendship, your loyalty, your compassion, your strength, and lord some of the best writing i’ve ever had the joy of reading. every portrayal you have, is at the top of my list, and for that alone i am so grateful. thank you for welcoming me into a side of the fandom i don’t know that i’d ever have reached if it weren’t for you. thank you for always being sweet to me, every time. and thank you for being one of the strongest, bravest, people i ever had to look up to. i wish you a happy new year, and for the days that come to only bring back all the rewards you deserve, for every bit of hard work you put in your life, and for everything you do for everyone you love.

✲ @pianokeysandbowties​ ✲ 

j, my angel. it’s funny how lucky i’ve been that so many people i’ve met are so much like the characters they cherish, and that i love. i have seldom in life met someone more suited to bubbly, loyal, happy, kind, talented, go-getter, strong, blaine anderson than you. you spoke to all my seb sides from day one, and never there’s been a day when you’ve showed me anything to doubt it since. you’ve been a happy presence in my life for i’m pretty sure over 4 years now, and you can’t go through that much time writing together, and talking to each other, without ending up treasuring that person in your heart. i know things get hard sometimes, and we both get  a lot on our plates, but whenever we stop to talk to each other, it always feels like stopping to breathe. you make me feel like the most incredible seb that ever existed, and i hope you know i hold you just as high as my forever only blaine. you are one of the sweetest persons around, and i truly wish you to have a next year filled with light, and happiness, and care, and friendship, and the good things you deserve. i love you, j, happy new year.

✲ @seesbright​ ✲

dezz. lord almighty i think i need one of jace’s speeches to even try to start telling you how much i adore and love you. since i started on this website jace and i searched for our clary, both in writing, and in person, and though we found amazing people who were good fits, none of them were as instant, and perfect, as you. you truly are the bright, creative, loving, warrior of our hearts. just as jace can’t believe he has such a infinite good in his life as clary, i also still often wonder what i’ve done to deserve feeling as cherished and admiration worthy as i do when you’re around. you are so soft and loving, whenever we talk, and whenever you talk about your life, and the things and people you are about, and yet you can be one of the fiercest people i’ve met when any of those things or people are threatened. you carry all of clary’s best features, and the best one of all, is, no matter what life throws at you, it only makes you stronger and brighter. and how i admire you for it. you never give up, even if at times you might want to, and that goes to yourself, and also to the people you love. whenever we talk, i feel like you’ll never give up on me, and from someone who’s seen so many people walk out, it’s the best feeling in the world. you always make me feel good, and wanted, and cherished, and i truly hope i can make you feel the same. it’s a privilege writing with you, and with your perfect clary portrayal. it’s a privilege talking to you, plotting with you, building headcanons together, and being able to call you my friend. i hope and know the new year will bring you everything you deserve, and you will find yourself being the happiest yet. i love you.

you and me forevermore .

✲ @seraphinam​ ✲ 

em, i know we haven’t talked for a while, but i wished you to know you are one of the kindest people i’ve met in my life. i am so proud of how far you’ve come in your own real life, how hard you work, and how many downs you’ve made into ups by sheer strength of character, and bravery. you are an incredible writer, and even more incredible person, and i know no matter what, you’ll do well in life. you treasure the important things, the things that make you happy, you look on the positive side of things so gracefully like i never could, and you enjoy each victory and achievement in the way we all should do. thank you for letting me know you, and letting me write with you, letting me rant with you, and being this bright star to everyone around you. happy new year, friend. 

✲ @silvcrtm​ / @berkilausihir​ ✲ 

faith, i know you’ve said your goodbyes, and i don’t know if you’ll see this, but i wanted to say mine as well. i wanted to tell you, for all the time i’ve known you, you have never, ever, been anything but sweet and kind to me. you listened to so much of my character rambles, you talked them out with me, you answered my questions, you made me feel important and special, and you encouraged me when i most needed it. and i am genuinely so happy for where you are now, and the love you’ve found, and the future you and taylor have ahead of you. you both were so protective and kind and warm to me, every time we chanced to talk, and you’ve given me plenty of happy memories to appreciate in my heart. i wish only the very best to the both of you, in all the new years to come. happy new one, for now, and all the love!

✲ @vcrlac-archived​​  ✲

talia, sweet friend, can you believe i was ever afraid to talk to you? there was once a time when i wouldn’t have thought you’d give me the time of day, and how wrong i was, and how glad i was to be wrong. i think there are very few people as genuinely kind as you are in this world, and there is nothing i wish for more than that you never lose it, and that you have every bit of it rewarded in your life. never once, ever, since we met, have you made me feel judged, or lesser, or like i was annoying you. on the contrary, you have made me feel the most welcome, comforted, and so damn understood, when i was most hurt and in need of a friend. whenever i look back on our talks, be it about meta, books, life, or trials and tribulations, all i feel is warmth, and i will always cherish you for that. there are so few people in this world that have never made me feel scared, or afraid, and you are most definitely on the top of that list. even when you couldn’t understand what i was going on about, even when you disagreed, you never did so in harsh way, you never made me feel like that meant i wasn’t doing good enough. you always, always, had a sweet word for me, and you made me want to be a better, gentler, friend, every time we talked. on top of that, you have more talent in you than you could ever know, and for all of it i can only be grateful for having met you. thank you for being my friend, and teaching me about patience, tolerance, kindness, and gentleness. thank you for being one of the loveliest people i’ve ever met. happy new year, and that your years to come become busier and busier with the success you deserve.

don't read the last page .

people i’ve yet to really meet, or hope to get closer to in the coming year, people i admire, fangirl over, and hope to come to be good writing partners with one day. happy new year to all of you!!

✲ @argentelectrum​​ ✲ @deservesthis​​ ✲ @enoughrunning​​ ✲ @inkedsnack​​ ✲ @hellraiised​​ ✲ @mossofash​​ ✲ @snakedhand​​ ✲ @stephenxherondale​​ ✲

[kainfamilyfortune]

Silas - Journal Entry #32-34

Packing my bags was a more difficult process than I imagined; I ended up consolidating many of my past possessions - sneaking away in the night, finding a pit outside the village and lighting robes, ink, and even past books ablaze, thinking that they had served their purpose, that they would not be much use to anyone. Ramblings of a dead man. I was able to get it down to my ceremonial robes and matching knife, my wand, the clothes on my back and four books - two of which were my latest works in Pandaria and one was my current journal, and the final tome was my first publication I had the honor of working on with Dorene, a green hardcover with silver filigree, ‘Elements of Medicine’. I secured everything in my satchel, gazing at the tear where the forsaken badge used to be. A few nights would persist as I fixed my satchel, burning items slowly as to not draw too much attention... before the missive was released. 

I had no idea that war parties still ventured as far as these lands, but I kept a watchful eye as they made their way through the quiet village, morning mist still surrounding the country-side just before dawn. Pulling my hood up, I exited my hut to see what they had left for the Coalition’s eyes. A finely embossed sheet of parchment pinned to the bulletin board.

‘Wanted: For Defecting and Inspiring Rebellion against the Horde

In regards to conspirators, the Desolate Council of The Undercity, Thirty Thousand Gold will be awarded on delivery of each perpetrator.’ 

The list started...

‘Lyndow Callow, Edmundo Alden, Silas Kain, Dorene Denholm.’ 

Were we all of whom that was left? Or... All that defected and decided to not to cower in fear at the might of the Banshee Queen.

‘If found, these individuals are considered to be highly dangerous and manipulative, capture dead or alive and deliver to Valley of Honor, Origrimmar for verification and payment. For the Horde.

                                                         Nathanos Blightcaller’

Of course I tore down the missive immediately, pocketing it - however incriminating as it was, at least I now had a list to go off of as far as who to track down. Now it was a matter of where to find them... Light only knows where they’d go into hiding, I was only truly sure of two relationships. Professor Alden, whom I worked at length with on studying his recovered Zul’Aman artifacts in the Ghostlands. Perhaps he has chosen to hide in plain-sight as he always had; and Dorene Denholm who introduced me to the apothecary and medicines. Last assignment she was given was cultivating rare herbs in Sholazar Basin.

33.

Some time has passed. I left no clues besides the memories I had with the Coalition, I hoped that they would understand. I started a few days travel, following the roving war party, tearing every poster they hung in their tracks. They led me all the way out to Mistfall Village, where they headed to the capitol portals within Mogu’shan Palace. At least that is what I assume. I stayed the night, laying low, eavesdropping upon a few sin’dorei speaking of selling passage off the northern coast. If they had the boat and man-power, that was all I needed. 

After buying them a few rounds of drinks and asking where they were headed I had paid for my passage to the Ghostlands, with a short stop in Tol Barad. The journey would take a week, that they were leaving before dawn by yak to where they had docked in Binan village. They didn’t ask my name or have questions... yet. Good. I needed to seek refuge in a neutral spot, Light knows who would sell me out for gold at this point in time.

The boat was a small fishing vessel, although nets were exchanged for extra storage and what seemed like a kite on the hull of the craft, for what they called ‘Para-kiting’ which they tried to sell me on, but I wasn’t one for heavy winds, nor heights. The crew totaled five in all, who seemed earnest in their tourist ventures - over the breakfast as we were casting off, I learned of their history, traveling back and forth between capitols to earn a little extra coin in a fishing venture gone south between the crew and their old captain, who was smuggling goods and making shady deals without the crew’s knowledge. One day, he made a wrong deal and a rival group of pirates came after them all. They made a deal to exile their captain and trade it for freedom and now they all had equal say, and traded fish for... well tourists. 

Cere, a jovial sin’dorei female with amber-red hair, golden eyes and pointed nose exclaimed in her light airy trill of a voice over the next three days about the other members and how they came to be friends over the years, some excommunicating from their factions after fighting wars they longer believed in, while others were simple farmers, and her, a former escort, wanting to leave her shackles from talk of politics and a fake smile she would wear, to please those around her. 

We docked in Tol Barad on the fourth day; the crew told me they needed to resupply on some goods and seek some information about a potential hire they were corresponding with, and that I should try for the Heart of the Raven - an inn and tavern just in town. I walked up the cobblestone stairs, snow still gathered in the silent town - only a few shops and houses lined the streets along with a fountain which had frozen over. The trees stood with no leaves - extending bare towards the brightly clouded sky. My eyes followed the path to a warmth coming from the larger two, maybe three story building with a small raven upon it’s sign, swinging in a light rush of wind - creaking slightly as I let the door hit me on my way in. As the crackling of the fire sparked my senses and the waft of ginger and honey greeted me, I knew I had found something special. 

34.

I spent the most of the afternoon here, listening to the gentle rhythm of their guitarist and making notes in my journal, indulging my thirst for a change, Stormsong honey grapefruit ginger soda. Simply divine, although my thoughts were no where near on the same wavelength. I mulled over where I was to find Edmundo first, Dorene was likely fine for now... But it has been so long since I’ve been to the Ghostlands, let alone Eastern Kingdoms. Since I watched Lordaeron from afar, slowly being swallowed away by the blight. The retaliation. That was in the past now, and I would do well not to think of it, but I could not help but hear voices linger and pull me in all directions. Spirits screaming. I drank a heavy swig, attempting to wipe it from my mind, when Cere entered the establishment, asking me if it would be alright if we could extend our stay here, as one of the crew injured himself. I did not ask questions, only offering my healing experience which was politely declined.

I paid the barkeep for a suite and rested my head. Although sleep would never find me, pretending was never much of an issue, as my reveries filled the space. I was in a forest, dark tainted grounds that had once been a lively autumn color pallet. Eversong Woods. Why my daydreams led me here, I had no idea, but I sensed the light guiding my thoughts. The large pillars of ivory, gold gilded decor - deteriorating and fading in color after the march of scourge. My skin materialized into dust that flowed from my hand out in front of me, ushering me forward to follow, leading me inside the old tower.

The inside was pitch black, but from what I could make out it was nearly empty with the exception of an unlit brazier and two end chairs resting across from one another. The vaulted ceilings echoed and the wind rustling in the large entry way wafted abandoned webs of spiders that had long since been gone. I sat in the chair closest to me, the feeling of anxiety rose up once again and the brazier lit with a familiarity I have not felt in a millennia. The same flame erupted upon my death as the soothing voice struck a deal. A deal that would lead me here, but why? As she spoke again the chill went through every crevice of dust compacting to form my spine and skin. I could feel my jaw clench and the dust shifted off my form, floating like a tornado around the fel green flame. 

“You have done well Silas.” A chuckle surrounded my senses, and the panic started to heighten. I tried to grip the arm rests to throw myself out of the chair but my hands were gone. I was frozen as more and more bone dust swirled around the fire. My legs too were gone and I was fading. The last thing I saw was the reconstruction of a human girl in the opposite chair, smiling wickedly before my vision cut to black. I couldn’t help but scream.

The knock on my door was sudden as I came back to reality - immediately checking my hands which were once again whole; One of the staff greeted me at the door to ensure that I was alright. I was gasping for every breath I could hold in my lungs as I told them that it was nothing, that I had just had an accident. The illidari offered help which I declined as she nodded slowly and left, obviously looking worried. I laid my head once again upon the bed but decided against daydreaming again. The only question on my mind was who that girl was. And what she had to do with any of this.

((Special Thanks to @heartoftheravenwra for giving me a scenic, faction neutral spot to call home for the last few weeks. RP here is awesome and I heavily recommend their Monday Night Mixers! There will be more to come as Silas makes his journey north. Apologies for the longer posting frequency as well. Quality > Quantity, since work has been wiping my booty as of lately. Cheers!))

[agameofsouls]

backstory // jackson + lyra

so, jackson and lyra are ocs that i created for a group rp that i used to run a year or so back. the history and lore was really really deep, and i actually spent months writing it and tying little pieces together to make a blend of rural folk village / supernatural monsters / scifi horror whatever that made me really happy to think about and plan out.

i actually had an entire notebook filled with different arcs and conflicts i wanted the group to work through, including a huntress, a dragon, blood spells, etc. unfortunately, we only got about half way through the huntress before things died out due to busy personal lives, and what have you.

this is just a small directory and explanation to certain parts of that world that are integral to the development of jackson and lyra as characters, and things that they have experienced from their old home, as well as links to posts from the group page with even more stories and information.

mostly, this is for my benefit so i can sort of feel better referencing their backstories knowing that this exists for anyone to read that’s interested.

also, i just really want my old favorite stories to see the light of day again. nightmare was honestly so important to me as a writer, lmao.

NOTE. this is a long post!

the town itself

Nightmare has been around for two hundred and forty horrific years. It was originally created by the legendary group called The Eleven, which consisted of: Five witches, two vampires, three werewolves, one necromancer, and several children belonging to most of the members.

The story is that left their homes in Salem, followed by groups of hunters, and traveled all the way down to Tennessee before disappearing into the Smoky Mountains, losing their would-be killers forever. It took them a while and a lot of settling down and uprooting before finally deciding on a permanent home, but they did it, and here we are: hidden, secret, and safe. ( more here )

essentially, the town is self sufficient, isolated in deep within the smoky mountains. there are several sister towns spread across the us, typically either in more wooded areas, or deep within the rarely traveled plains of the midwest, or the deserts of the mojave.

they are connected by ‘trails’ that are only traveled by those in the know, and nomads travel from town to town with goods to trade on a regular basis, and often bring newcomers with them that they found along the way.

the government system is fairly simplistic as well -- each species that resides in nightmare has one representative, whether because they were elected or are the only one of their kind, that sits on a council.

the power is usually passed through the family of the current council member, and doesn’t often switch hands unless something drastic happens. in the case that there are no familial relations of the current council member available, they will select another member of their species as their ‘heir.’

lyra + jackson

in this world, lyra lived a very carefree life. she was a bit of a criminal, and would often get into trouble on purpose just to have the sheriff of the town, tris, arrest her. she developed a crush on him, and they eventually started seeing each other, much to the dismay of lyra’s mother. she hated that tris was older than lyra, as well as a shape shifter. she thought he was dangerous, but lyra wouldn’t hear a bad word against him.

she also had a best friend, a witch named antonia, who she would drag into all sorts of trouble with her. the two were inseparable, except for when the law man came around. lyra never let toni go down with her, and always took the heat. freya always forgave lyra for any wrongdoing she did, and was the kind of mom that instead got upset with the guards rather than her own daughter for her ever growing criminal record.

on the other hand, jackson lived quietly. even in a place like nightmare, necromancers were still feared. their power was different than that of any of the witches, and it was mysterious. it made other people uneasy, and they didn’t have a lot of trust for young or new necromancers like him.

so he typically stayed home, tending to his plants and decorating his house to look like an hgtv model home. he also sold his fruits and veggies in the town center at his little produce stall, and made some extra cash that way. it was a far cry from his previous life, but he liked it.

he made friends slowly, and eventually befriended lyra. the two, along with toni, became close friends and would often spend time in jackson’s home having tea and snacks during the day, and going to parties at night. toni, while she spent her time with jackson and lyra often, still had a slight distrust of jackson, and would often make excuses to not join them on ventures. this left a lot of time for him and lyra to be alone and bond, and he quickly became her second most trusted friend in town.

when shit hit the fan and it was time to leave, they went together, trying to make sense of all the shit they had been through. after everything, they are inseparable, and would probably die for each other. there are very few friends as close as them, and they depend on each other to survive in the outside world.

the problem

For some reason or another, though, our population has started falling, and not because our citizens are leaving, either. Something’s been coming around when we don’t know it and making people drop dead left and right, whether it’s from a sickness or people being outright murdered, we don’t know.

The recent deaths are causing some tensions between groups and have cause productivity to dwindle as well. Some parents won’t send their kids down to the school and community events have begun to see a decrease in attendance as well. The Council is working on finding the source of the problem and a solution, but with even the Elders finding it difficult to work together, some people are afraid that this is the end of Nightmare.

so, basically, there was a sickness spreading, but it was only affecting certain groups, such as the witches and sirens, specifically. it had slowly started to spread to other species as well, enough that a true ‘pattern’ hadn’t been picked up just yet. no one could figure out how it spread, and no one could figure out a cure or a source for it.

there was no magic that could stop it, no potion that could slow it. it seemed to suddenly hit a person, and within a matter of hours to days, they were dead.

what the townspeople didn’t know was that the sickness was entirely created in a lab. freya, the alpha of the werewolf pack and current holder of the werewolf council seat, had been contacted by a mysterious organization from the outside world regarding a research project into special beings.

the organization wanted to study the dna of supernatural beings, to see what made it different from humans, and if it was possible to cure, or if it was possible to weaponize and turn regular humans into these creatures.

they wanted to see if they could modify regular human dna to pass it on like any regular trait and have it manifest in their children, thus manufacturing witches, werewolves, or even hybrids of any of these species. it was a long shot by far, but they were willing to pay for any help.

for a while, she helped the organization by gathering dna samples and sending it off to a drop point. it was harmless. they compensated her well, and she was able to provide the town with wealth and new things that they never had before. but then, operations at the organization switched hands to someone with a little more darker intentions.

this new head had led the scientists in the direction of extermination -- treat the genetic markers like a virus, create a serum that destroys it, kill the monsters, ensure the survival of pure humans. now, this worried freya, and she pulled out almost immediately, until the head made a deal with her -- provide the dna of the creatures you don’t like and we’ll stick with them. your kind will be safe.

she quickly bought into this, and brought her brother in on the situation, and continued to provide dna from witches, shape shifters, and sirens alike, always avoiding her kind. the organization gave her a satellite phone, as described in this post, and she began to poison the town slowly through the well systems.

the huntress

in the midst of all the chaos and fear caused by the sickness in town, something perhaps worse came to nightmare via an old legend called the huntress, fully explained here.

Legend tells of an ancient hunter made immortal and unstoppable by a group of religious witches to destroy the races of monsters. Their chosen Huntress was taken from her life of poverty and misery and used in a forbidden ritual dedicated to the dark gods. During this ritual, half of her soul was ripped from her body and placed in a token of the Huntress, for safe keeping. The gods replaced the missing piece of her mortal soul with pieces of their own, effectively making her one of them, therefore making it impossible for her to die by normal means.

the story ends with the huntress being trapped in a chest, passed down by the bloodlines of the original witches that created and later imprisoned her. a ritual was to be performed during a full moon every century, but that instruction eventually fell to myth and then became hardly a memory, and the whereabouts of the chest were eventually forgotten.

it turns out, like a lot of things do in this town, that the chest ended up in the attic of the council building, just waiting for a little something like the hunter’s moon to come out and let the huntress out to play. 

That moment finally came as the moon reached the highest point in the night sky, casting moonbeams through the trees and onto the buildings in town. One in particular hit the attic window of the Council Hall, illuminating the small, dusty area. It rested on the wooden panels of a particularly dusty and battered looking chest that hadn’t been touched since the Founders chucked it into the attic – which was the last time the chest had been touched.

Just minutes after the light of the moon touched the chest, it began to rumble, softly at first, and then violently. The rumbling then spread to the attic itself and then to the building, making ceiling tiles fall and the wood flooring and walls crack. A dark smoke, moving almost like liquid, began to seep from the seams of the chest and surround it, hissing whenever it came into contact with the wood. Finally, the rumbling stopped, the smoke disappeared, and all was silent.

BANG

It sounded as if several canons had gone off in unison, temporarily deafening anyone in the vicinity of the Council Hall. As the sound went off, a burst of magic exploded from the chest, sending wood pieces flying through the attic and either becoming lodged in the walls or blowing holes right through them like a shotgun blast. The burst of magic flew through the entire town, knocking every living being off of their feet and also knocked the wind right from their lungs. Several light bulbs blew out with the blast and windows shattered, and some people even dropped dead, causing more terror and panic than the initial magic had caused itself.

the rest of the huntress returning to this world can be read here!

after her return, one of the ghosts alerted the town to an ongoing crisis by ringing the bells and causing an even bigger alarm than her arrival did. that can be read here, and so can the official death count from the morning after.

this arc was never finished. i like to think that the town eventually solved it, that they were able to find her token and destroy it. i imagine that it was crushed by either tris or toni. but it was in a climactic moment. fire raging around them, the huntress standing with an arrow ready. the hero drops the token, and crushes it beneath their boot.

with a scream, the huntress let a final arrow fly, killing the hero, just as the trapped piece of her mortal soul came flooding back into her, and forcing the immortal bits out with another flash bang of magic. it forces the huntress onto her knees, and another of the heroes, either lyra or jackson, was able to take the sword and kill the huntress with it.

in the end, a majority of the town was killed, and it was evident to most people that the population would never recover from what had happened between the huntress and the sickness. a few dozen people decided to stay and rebuild, having faith that things could ever go back to normal.

others left, whether to rejoin regular society, or to join the other sister towns for a while, it wasn’t specified. but this event essentially blew nightmare off of the supernatural haven map for a while.

it was from this that jackson and lyra decided to leave. they had witnessed so many friends and family members die, and they both wanted out of that life. lyra left behind her mother and her future as alpha of the pack. jackson left his home behind, and off they went.

[clove-teasdale]

tick tock newlyweds

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

A/N: not a challenge! NEW YEARS PART 1. FINALLY THE 30th OF DECEMBER ON FIC TIME. End of the year. this is it y’all. get ready for the first part of this three-part fic (or it might be two idk, we shall see tomorrow). Thanks @brooks-schreave for the rp. OKAY, THERE MIGHT BE ERRORS OR TYPOS ON THIS IDK. SORRY. have some fun with awkward crooks conspiring in 3,334 words <3 

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

Columbia had always been a pretty sight at night, but it was very different from Angeles and it’s lively lights.

The only downside to such an active city was that the light pollution from it made the sky slightly less admirable, making the natural light a little duller. Standing next to Nate’s black Jeep, I watched the city and the sky to compare. This will be the set of stars when the New Year comes. I smiled at the thought but then my mind wondered if Nate’s car would be able to blend in for our purposes. My “date” arrived a few minutes after I’d started to consider how the night would go in general, carrying a bag in his hand and offering a small wave with the other.

“Ready?” I watched as Brooks shoved his things into the trunk. My dress was already on a hook inside the backseat alongside my other stuff.

“Yeah,” I ran a hand through my hair--the feel of it different, but not new. “I straightened it.” It hadn't taken too long with Eloise's help. She'd agreed to cover for us. Mostly me since I'd told Jacinda and the rest of my maids I'd be having a sleepover with her that night. 

If anything went wrong, she'd have to handle it and she said she would as long as I explained later what the whole mystery outing was. I loved how she always agreed with my crazy plans without question. She deserved some baby carrots.

Brooks lifted both eyebrows at my new look as if impressed before walking over to open my door. “I like it.”

I smiled, getting in. “I brought a hairbrush for yours.” I would never repeat the hand incident.

Once he'd walked over to his side of the car and sat in the driver's seat, he took a cap from his back pocket and put it on. Some glasses and a grin were added as he said, “No need. I'll be covered.”

I smirked at the absurdity of his disguise, but honestly, there was only so much we could do to hide. “I hope you take it off when we arrive.”

“You don't like it?” His jaw dropped, eyes turning to the mirror as he mumbled, “I think it's cool.”

Laughing was inevitable on my part. “You don't use that for a party.”

“I’ll replace it with a party hat when we get there, promise.”

Silence settled for a while as the drive began. With it, the awkward feeling I’d been having around Brooks the day before returned. Ever since the Christmas Ball incident and our talk about it, my head had been unable to forget. We’d agreed on it being a mistake, and after yesterday at the roof it seemed like we could try going back to normal...but part of me became more and more aware of my wish for the 'mistake' part to be, well, a mistake in itself. I’d even started to ask myself how much I really liked him. Was it one of those simple crushes I got back in high school? Because I had always managed those before.

Brooks, I’d realized, had grown to become more awkward in the years I was gone. It was hard to notice on the first day of my arrival, as arguing was still the first language between us, but it became more and more obvious with time and since the kiss, it showed in volumes.

His hands tapped the steering wheel before he asked, “Music?”

I continued to fidget with the ring on my finger even as I spared him a glance. I hoped spinning the old golden band with a garnet would help release some of the anxiety I felt, but wasn’t too sure it was working. By this point, it was a sort of a personal tradition to wear that ring around this time a year. My dad had passed it down to me as a New Year's gift when I was twelve.

Apparently, it had belonged to my grandmother--her red birthstone encrusted on the old metal as a gift from my grandpa for their 50th wedding anniversary. Their official wedding had been big, a 27th of January once upon a time. It was everything you could dream of, as Twos loved to show off, but my grandparents always took it a step further. They also had a smaller ceremony beforehand. Just family. 

According to what they had always retold, they kissed as the clock stroke midnight, commemorating a new year. That was the date they considered their anniversary. My grandparents had loved making things romantic but in the most dramatic of ways...meaning they loved one-upping people that much. The story had been crazy enough that it made me want to wear the ring at midnight every year after that.

Focusing back on the present, I tried offering Brooks a small smile. “Uh, yeah, sure.”

He didn't focus on it much, immediately averted his gaze and reaching to turn on the radio. I looked away as well, but as the first lyrics came out, I couldn’t help and drift my sight back to him to gauge his reaction.

...walls stood tall painted blue But I'll take 'em down, take 'em down and open up the door for you.

Flailing to reach for the button as our duet song rang out, he changed stations quickly.

--we've lost our minds I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy Runaway to a world that we design.

I wished my seat would swallow me, focusing ahead and pressing my lips together as he changed it again with an “Ugh.” Then screamo music blasted and he just gave up. I did so too, closing my eyes with a sigh and leaning forward to turn it off. “Silence never hurt anyone.”

“Debatable.”

I let Brooks handle the brunette receptionist that welcomed us at the counter of the hotel. “Hello, how may I help you?”

“We need a room, please.”

“Aw, a romantic getaway?” Oh, for the love of...

My “romantic partner” did his best to get over the embarrassment as fast as possible. “Uh, yeah, sure.”

Nothing went past this one though and as she spotted the ring I couldn’t help but fidget with, she asked, “Newlyweds?”

“Yes?” was what Brooks decided to go with, but I could see the alarm written on his face. He was definitely screaming inside as I was.

“Adorable. Last name, please.”

We hadn’t considered what to say. A mistake on our part. Our plan had many flaws, but then again it was planned in one day. My mouth opened to say something, anything, but it became one of those moments when they ask you to say something and you suddenly blank out on the list of those you know. The conversation I’d had with Eloise as she straightened my hair was the only inspiration I could think of.

“Crooks,” I blurted out at the expectant lady. Brooks only gave me a confused look.

“Right. Mr. and Mrs. Crooks.”

This is embarrassing.

"You two are just the cutest. Here's your key.” She handed it over and, thankfully, Brooks took it without any weird looks in my direction. “Breakfast is at 7 to 9. Happy New Year!”

We wouldn't make it to breakfast, but Brooks quickly pushed me towards the elevator. After pressing the floor our card mentioned, he asked, “Crooks?”

I cleared my throat, focusing on the walls around me. “What? We needed a name.”

“Where did that even come from?” The elevator opened and I took my chance to flee.

“Um…” I lowered my voice. “Eloise..”

“Were you discussing criminals with her or something? I thought that was our thing.” His joking was as strained as my laugh when he followed.

“Yeah, obviously." He really didn’t need to worry about me replacing him.

Arriving at the room, he inserted the key and held the door open for me. I turned on the lights and froze at the sight “Shoot..”

He stepped in right after. ��Wha-? Oh. Oh.”

We both blinked at the single bed in the room. Newlyweds. “Guess next time we should go with cousins.”

He gave me an alarmed look. It was back to internal screaming it seemed. With a sigh of resignation, he said he would take the floor. “It’s not carpeted,” I mumbled back.

“I'll deal with it.” He ran over to the closet and placed our bags away, taking a look at his watch. “We should change.”

5 hours until midnight.

“Ready?” Brooks called out, knocking on the bathroom door.

I stared at my reflexion in the mirror, the golden embroidery of my dress laughing at me--metaphorically speaking, of course. “Just a sec...” 

The zipper was still on my lower back. Another one of the things I hadn’t considered in my hurry was that no matter how much of a pretzel my arms tried to be, I couldn’t reach up high enough to close this dress.

The silence was too long for Brooks. “Clove? I'm sure you look very nice, can you come out now? We've gotta go.”

“Um…” Come on, come on... I let my hands fall to my sides with a sigh. “I should’ve gone for the purple strapless.” He didn’t say anything as I leaned on the door. “I... kind of need some help.”

“Did you fall?”

“What? No.. I need someone to zip up the rest of the dress.”

His pause made me want to stay in the bathroom the rest of the night. “I can help.”

“Okay…” I took a moment as well before reaching for the doorknob and opening the door. “It’s a nice dress, just not the easiest to zip alone.”

He made a spinning motion with his hand, saying, “Turn.”

I did as he asked and felt his hand take on the zipper as he set his other one on my back to pull it up. His voice was quieter as he added, “You're good.”

“Thanks.” I turned around with a quick nod, trying to smile as a sign of gratitude, but I could feel my nerves skyrocketing. “I guess we’re ready then.”

He avoided my gaze and checked his watch again. “Yeah, it's almost time.”

I gave him a once over. Now that his cap was off, I could see his hair was down, sweeping over his forehead. Kind of all over the place, so little messy if you will, yet being a guy that meant... “You look nice.” With the well-fitted maroon suit that had black lapels to match his tie, he was bound to catch some eyes tonight.

An awkward smile was all he offered as he opened the door for me. “Ditto.”

It was pretty early for the party to be that pumped, being only 8 pm, but the more people were excited for the New Year, the less they would care about a prince and a selected strolling next to them.

“Four hours until midnight. Remember, we're looking for Harrison Levi.”

I stepped out of the car with his help. “Excited?”

“No.”

How cheerful, I thought but pressed my lips together to stop myself from saying it out loud. “What do you mean “no”? It’ll be a New Year. Something to look forward to.”

“I don't know if you've noticed, but I've never been more stressed in my life.” He offered his arm and I took it with a nod when he asked, “Shall we?”

As we walked inside, hundreds of people surrounding us, I pointed out, “You seemed excited before.”

He didn’t look in my direction. “Keep walking Clove.”

“Fine.”

Three hours until midnight.

Our game plan ended up being to search for Levi first. Even though we had no idea of how he would be towards us, we hoped we could convince him of helping out in some way. We’d accept anything at this point. 

Brooks had gotten a considerably recent picture of him as a reference point, and as we talked he agreed with me that the man was probably pushed to resign when his career was barely starting. That meant his annotations hadn’t been for safekeeping, but for research like ours; not something that would’ve been welcomed on the King’s cabinet. 

It had taken us an hour of pacing around the party, pretending to be a couple talking about whatever, before I spotted Levi from afar and nudged Brooks. “Is that him?”

Brooks stopped looking around the room to focus on where I had pointed at, checking his picture for confirmation. “I think so. How do we approach him?”

I considering how the talk could go. “If he never agreed with the fixed raffle and all of that, maybe we’ll be able to ask him about it directly...or is that too risky?”

“How about we just try to make normal, honest conversation with him and then show him the journal to see how he reacts.”

“Fair enough. Do we wait until he’s a bit more caught up with the party or now?”

“No time like the present. Which one of us should go?”

“Shouldn’t we both go?”

“Right. Dynamic Duo.” He reached for my hand and walked us off to the white-haired man standing near the bar, calling out for him over the crowd, “Great party.”

The man took a swig of his beer. “It's alright.”

“Think you’ve done better before?” I grinned.

He shrugged. “It's too happy.”

Brooks spared the lively place a glance. “That's bad?”

“It's fake, son. Parties should be sad.”

What a jolly old man. He’d make a great Santa.

Brooks asked why he thought that only to get an even gloomier response after Levi finished his drink. “Then it would be reality. It's interesting to see people hide behind a holiday.”

I raised eyebrows at his view and exchanged glances with Brooks when he gave me a questioning look. “What a misfortune…” clearing my throat, I shifted, “Though I do agree what brings joy shouldn’t be a holiday, why bother hosting a party for something you consider unsatisfactory?”

“I don't consider it unsatisfactory, per se.”

“What do you consider it?” Brooks asked.

Levi stared at him before grabbing another drink from a tray. “None of your business.”

I tilted my head. “What would make it our business? It is merely the inquiry of an opinion.”

“You speak far too formally, young lady. Lighten up, will you.”

When Brooks laughed, I jabbed my elbow into his side, half-glaring as I muttered, “Sorry, it’s an old habit that comes and goes when I’m around people involved in politics.” It was a stupid habit I’d gotten when younger actually. Being around people that worked with my dad always put me on edge and I made dramatic word choices.

“I'm not in politics,” Levi argued.

Brooks raised an eyebrow. “Weren't you?”

Levi faced him. “Aren't you?”

What? “You think we’re politicians?”

“Not you, dear, but him,” he pointed his glass to Brooks, “Get a better disguise, princeling.”

We watched him walk away without another word.

“Well, I guess that was our mistake. I told you we should’ve waited until later tonight.”

He turned in my direction. “What difference would that have made?”

Ticking off  fingers, I listed, “It might've been darker, he could've been more tired, more distracted and maybe even a little drunk.”

“He seemed pretty drunk already. We'll find him again, don't worry.”

I worried anyway. The best way to start the year would be by having another lead. Thankfully, he liked my suggestion of finding his office. We would need to take a look around to find it though.

“Hopefully, it won't be too crowded--” I began to say, eyes skimming over the space as I spoke. His office would be around a closed off area, a hallway further down the house that wouldn’t be too crowded during a party. As I scanned around, I made eye contact with a confused politician watching us with narrowed eyes. Sort of recognizing his face myself, I realized he could recognize us too if he got closer and kept staring, so I changed my sentence midway and pulled Brooks into the group of dancing people, “--on the dance floor!”

“Nice save, darling.”

Turns out you can cringe at yourself. “This was a horrible idea.”

I was not entirely unaware of Brooks’ hand playing with the back of my dress as we danced. Still, I told myself it must be a habit of his. Something he did whenever he danced with someone and didn’t notice. Part of me hoped that wasn’t true, however. “We'll be fine. But only if you let it.”

“I don’t have the best track record with parties…” Punched a guy once. Pushed someone into a plant when I noticed they were about to puke in another. There was also the time I threw a drink at Cooper when he was annoying. Brooks hadn’t been too wrong when he said I was kind of aggressive.

He held me relatively close as we danced, his head next to mine. “It's the afterparties for me.”

I laughed a bit at that, wondering if my breath brushed his ear as his own did mine. “You last all the way to the afterparties, do you?”

“I'm pretty successful at parties. No one bothers me and I can keep to myself. It's after then that things go wrong for me.”

“Hmm, why is that?”

“Don't mess with me.”

I frowned but clenched my jaw when I realized what he was talking about. The kiss had been after a party. “I see you were on a different page than me.” Not meeting his gaze, I found myself feeling upset. “You have no right to be mad at me.”

“I'm not mad at you, Clove.”

“Then?”

He hesitated. “We've already talked about this.”

“We did.” A mistake. I focused on his shoes. “But you're the one who brought it up right now. I thought you were joking.”

“I-I am,” he looked down too, “I always am.”

My voice turned small. “I hope not always.”

The look in his eyes was hard to read. I couldn't place what it was before he replaced the expression with a smile and joked, “Not always. I'm a pretty boring guy.”

I managed to smile back for a brief moment, but everything felt off. We were trying so hard to go back to normal. Time after time, we weren't succeeding... I didn’t plan on giving up if he didn’t either though, so I smiled again. “Hey, you're part of the British Scooby gang. That's worth something.”

“Right. Which part of the Scooby gang are you?”

I only thought about it for a moment, trying to remember the show. “Velma.”

“I'm shocked.”

“I want to be the one who figures out the mystery.” Maybe I will. “That was usually her.”

“No way, it was totally Fred.”

Cocking my head to the side, I considered it. “Well, actually, out of all the group, the two of them were the ones that usually put the clues together.”

“How fitting.”

My head unnecessarily pointed out Fred and Velma were only friends on the show. “Yeah...do you consider yourself to be Fred?”

“I think I'm more a Scrappy Doo,” he admitted with a laugh. “Shouldn't have been there in the first place.”

“How dare you say the talking dog wasn’t essential?” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Just don’t forget we already established you were needed for this to work, unlike the talking dog. There can’t be a Mrs. Crooks without a Mr…” I trailed off, regretting the sentence with a blush. “Anyway, how long till midnight?”

He checked his watch. “It's almost 10. Wanna try our luck with Levi?”

“Almost two hours away.” I nodded in approval. “Alright. Maybe we should start with showing the journal first this time.”

He nodded back. “Have you seen him?”

I searched the faces in the room. “I bet he’ll be wherever the dark cloud of pessimism is going.”

Brooks made a pretty good guess. “Where's the bar?”

[verscorch]

Recent events got me wondering why I deal with some people.

It’s no secret that I am a very focused, driven individual, and when it comes to leadership, I hate playing tug-of-war. There are proven, effective ways of doing things that I believe ought to be kept in mind as guidelines even if not adhered to letter-for-letter:

Be willing and able to communicate issues, whether they’re “actual” issues or “perceived” issues, with those who you work with. This is the golden rule, part one. If you’re not willing to put yourself out there then no conversation will ever happen. The issues will perpetuate.

Be willing and able to listen and put to meaningful thought into issues as they’re brought up. This is the golden rule, part two. Communication is a two-way street. You can send all you want but it’s pointless if there’s no one there to receive it. The meaningful thought part is especially important here. Sometimes you have to sit and let words digest instead of going with your knee-jerk reaction. This can be difficult, and is much easier to do via text than it is to do via voice.

Be motivated and show enthusiasm. If the leaders are motivated and enthusiastic about what they’re doing, then others will follow. Positive mindsets, just like negative ones, are contagious.

If you expect the worst, you will usually get it.

In most situations I have been in, these guiding principles have worked incredibly well. These principles guide each and every interaction with my Ebonguard officers, who are absolutely fantastic. People are busy and that’s understandable, but every one of them is a joy to work with and I’m lucky to have them around. (I’d like to make some additions to the team to fill other roles, since most of us are oriented towards the actual administration of the group: looking over apps, chatting with recruits, overall making sure that we can keep the lights on. I would specifically like to add some dedicated RP officers, but this gets tricky when very few members of the LS are self-starters. I think if we get volunteers then we can make it work though as long as the new officers understand what is expected of them.)

I think I can chalk this up in part to the simple fact that the Ebonguard officers are good at what they do. The two most active members of the team have prior experiences, both good and bad I’m pretty sure, with running groups, which makes their insight invaluable and their opinions informed. We can actually sit down and have conversations. We do actually sit down and have conversations. And these conversations are productive! We pin-point problems. We suggest solutions. Sometimes we even plan RP, although schedules occasionally conspire to make that part a little difficult because the most active chunk of the team is comprised of a student, someone who travels like every other week for their job, and an Australian with no sleep schedule. (I wouldn’t have them any other way though!)

This is a very, very stark contrast to these assholes.

I am, for practical intents and purposes, the de facto leader of two seperate groups. One, just mentioned, is good. The other. Is not.

Take everything that makes my Ebonguard officers great and flip it, and you have the Artifice’s officer team.

Dealing with the Artifice team is a special exercise in both patience and masochism. To be completely frank, it didn’t used to be as bad as it is right now, and I have no idea when it got so bad. I know when exactly all the shit came to the forefront and precipitated into the situation that we’ve been living with for the past three and a half months. Before the New Year, we were all bright-eyed and motivated. We had a game-plan. We were going to work together. We were going to use the strong foundation that we built in order to make something truly great. We had a vision. We knew what we had to do, basically, to make it a reality.

... And then nothing happened.

We took December off for Finals season and holidays, as is kind of scheduled and expected, and I can only assume that during that time, something changed. When the clock struck twelve on New Years Day, something changed and it didn’t change for the better. A day passed. A week passed. No word of any change of plans. I rewrote the lore doc like we planned to do. Silence, maybe a grudging pat on the back. I spruced up the interior of the house, providing us with a shiny new space with which to run public events, which has since been used only once, and it wasn’t for strictly FC purposes. We were going to have a linkshell to help us network with people outside of our immediate circle, and although we have it now, it’s a far cry from anything we actually discussed doing and in pushing for it to actually get done -- I cannot and will not be responsible for everything -- I got demoted.

When we got to actually going over what happened in that particular instance, it felt productive at the time. Someone else stepped in to mediate the issue, though at the time I was definitely putting some serious thought into burning the group and moving on with my life. It’s no overstatement to say that I am the primary if not the sole creative force behind everything the FC is and does. I wrote the lore. My character is the last full-time leader of the FC, the other officers having all rerolled into characters who are not only wholly incapable of leading, but who don’t really mesh with the fabric of the group at all (even taking into account the idea that antagonistic relationships between characters within a group can be interesting and can very well be driving forces behind character development!). They do nothing. They affect nothing. They just kind of exist, and the only reason why they haven’t been fired yet is because that would be unfair on an OOC level even if it would be completely reasonable and in-character for my character to fire them or otherwise penalize them for not being useful to the company as a whole.

Unfortunately, it just popped up again. They cite passive-aggression as the precipitating factor despite being completely and totally unwilling to point out passive-aggression as it happens, and frankly since the way that I interface with the group has not changed since way, way back when I still actually liked them, I’m inclined to believe that it’s not necessarily an issue with how I interface but with how they perceive. They aren’t in a mindset that’s conducive to actually getting things done. All they do is ignore things as they’re brought up, or shut them down as being unnecessarily nitpicky, unimportant, or harsh, not even bothering to consider the fact that I don’t pipe up and say things for no reason. If I feel like it’s important enough to bring up, then chances are I have a good reason for it, those reasons ranging from “this is counter-productive” to “this hurt my feelings or made me angry for like five minutes and I would like you to stop doing that thing or take steps to handle similar situations differently in the future.”

But quite literally every time, one or the other chimes in to put the concern down without spending more than a hot 30 seconds considering what I’m trying to get at, and the overwhelming majority of the time they don’t ask me to clarify if I was being unclear, either. One just doesn’t seem to care. The other’s first reaction to anything I try to say that they don’t happen to agree with or like is immediate, intense anger which makes getting anything done impossible. For example, this person went off just the other day and, rather than even considering what I had said or was trying to say at quite literally any point in time, instead went on to characterize me as “having the weight of the world on their shoulders!” and being “easily replaceable.” To be fair, I lashed out first, but I made maybe one or two jabs at the two of them as a pair -- as officers, not even as people. This rant must have gone on for a solid seven to ten minutes.

Both of which I feel aren’t entirely true.

For the first count, it’s true that I voluntarily take on a lot of responsibility in running the company and making things work. I run the designated company plotline. I lead company meetings, in AND out of character because, again, my character is the only full-time leader of the FC. I’ve even started planning and slapping together some OOC shindigs like map parties and movie nights. But I don’t do this because I want an excuse to gripe. I do it because I like doing it. I like writing stories and I like seeing how people interact with the narrative I make. I enjoy playing a character in a position of power, although frankly it sucks that it also means I’m the only member of the officer team who is technically qualified to do the shitty, shitty job of hiring people IC. (There is a very good reason why IC play-ins are no longer a thing for Ebonguard, and its because I despise them. They are never anything but forced and robotic. Leon stops being Leon and starts being Officer Bot 5000 because, again, there’s no prerequisite or allowance for him to just not hire people who don’t leave a good impression on him; by this point in time people are already accepted into the FC on whatever character they applied with, and their character not being hired because my character is an asshole is a little unfair.)

The source of my gripes is not and never has been “I DO EVERYTHING!” in fact quite frankly I’m of the opinion that life would be a lot easier if I did, in fact, do everything. If I did everything then that would mean that everything is done to my (relatively high) standards and specifications, and not only that but they are done in a timely manner. The source of my gripes is, instead, that I’m sitting over here working my ass off while for all intents and purposes, they pick their noses. I’m pretty understanding of prior obligations and life getting in the way of things; it’s not an issue at all with my Ebonguard team even though the breakdown of time available to spend on doing stuff ends up being relatively the same. But their current reasoning does not hold up when taking the entire picture into account. I’m more than willing to and capable of understand/ing when you have to deal with a continuing family emergency. But what I’m not is a mindreader. 

One is pretty good at communicating when obligations arise and I respect him for that. My problems don’t usually start with him and in fact if I were in charge I would probably keep him around in the same capacity.

The other? At no point in time did she ever even make the slightest attempt to communicate to me, or the officer team as a unit, that she had some personal issues to deal with. The people closest to her as a person? Sure. I’m not in that group. But the officer team as a unit? Never.

Even discounting the current situation, it neither explains nor excuses the perpetual state of apathy they’ve basically been stuck in since Thanksgiving. One of them used to chip in and DM scenario events from time to time which was a pretty cool gig, and then he stopped. The other used to have a plot chain she was also running, and then lost the motivation for since they can’t manage large stories like I can. She at one point wanted to tie her plot into what I had so that I could continue/finish what she started, but she never gave me the notes and she never followed through on actually doing that. (This is what has happened to every event chain, whether heavy on story or not, that I’ve ever seen her try to run from the start of me being in the FC. It’s not the first time, and I guarantee that it won’t be the last.) This one also told me to my face not too long ago that she didn’t actually have any desire to be a leader and occasionally wondered what it would be like if she passed it off and then joined another FC just to be a member without all the responsibility.

And frankly, I wonder that too; if you don’t want to be a leader and/or don’t have the time or mental energy to dedicate to being a leader, then chances are pretty good that you should step aside and hand someone else the reigns. I would be absolutely willing to provide compensation for material assets and just straight-up buy the FC and take it off her hands. I could probably fix every single issue that the FC has within the span of 72 hours or less.

I also do not like this person as a person because they don’t treat me with respect and yet expect it in return, which is a MAJOR button of mine (I also have a general contempt for authority figures I guess), but it’s 2AM and that is a story for another time.

[changeling-children]

Changeling Children RP Locations!

~✿~

NOTE:

This post will be updated over the course of the roleplay! Please check back here regularly for your reference.

~✿~

Puffball Valley

A plateau-valley elevated above the surrounding area. Clouds pass over the area causing it to be very foggy and humid. Long rows of large windmills can be seen everywhere in the valley and large fences surround the edges. Puffballs grow along buildings or structures in the shade.

The Puffball Pack reside here.

Standard houses here are a cottage with one story and an attic. The cottages have many windows, so when it’s sunny outside, the light streams in. Beds are poofy and round in shape (they are either twin sized for one resident or queen sized for multiple) with quilts and other community-made blankets and pillows. Floral or transparent curtains are hung over ever window, a dresser and chest are provided. These are the houses players are given to start.

~✿~

Champignon Caverns

A system of caverns full of glowing rocks and many lights and lanterns lining every wall. The insides are carved out and have decorative carvings at various areas in the system and the ceiling and walls are supported by beams. In the caves you can also find champignon mushrooms growing nearly everywhere the light doesn’t touch.

The Champignon Clan resides here.

Standard homes are carved out mini-caves with stone doors. Beds are pillow nests or blanket forts. Every house comes with fairy lights and regular light structures. Outside is a mail tube large enough for a package that will take the mail to the carrier center where it will be delivered. These are the houses players are given to start.

~✿~

Stinkhorn Woods

A massive forest with massive trees. The roots cover the forest floor and are hidden under many thickets and ferns, moss, rocks and, of course, the namesake of this forest! Lumber development centers are located around.

The Stinkhorn Gang resides here.

Standard homes are tree houses with ladders, ramps or stairs leading up to the front balcony and front door. A hammock, or hammocks are provided, as well as curtains of beads, fake flowers, miniature stuffed animals, or other small objects are made in place of doors, with the exception of the front door. Plants are optional, but small personal gardens are encouraged greatly. These are the houses players are given to start.

~✿~

Fungi and Marcy’s Moving Castle Cottage

Fungi and Marcy are NPCs. Read about them here.

Fungi and Marcy are a gay, cow-type changeling couple whom travel around, craft objects and sell items to players. They can either travel together in their cottage, or only one travels at a time in their cottage.

~✿~

Nanette’s Homeless Shelter

Nanette is an NPC. Read about them here.

Nan’s Homeless Shelter is located outside the Stinkhorn Woods and is somewhere between them and the Puffball Valley. It is surrounded by hills and small, thin patches of trees and plants. The sky is often sunny, dotted with clouds, and on occasion it rains here. Nan, themselves, travels sometimes to collect the unwanted and unhoused from the three factions, brings them to their shelter, rehabilitates them and then helps them adjust to life in or outside of the factions again.

~✿~

Learning Garden

This is Nick’s school. Read about him here.

A lovely garden located not far from Nanette’s Homeless Shelter. It is full of various kinds of flowers, fruit-bearing plants and decorative hedges. This is the location where Nick teaches techniques this gifted prodigy of a shifter knows, in hopes of helping them along their changeling journey. Many of the students here stay at Nan’s Shelter, as well. Tea and coffee is often served during class, sometimes lunch, as well. When classes are not hosted here, the gardens are open to those who live in Nan’s Shelter, and sometimes parties, for various purposes, are hosted by Nan that are open to all.

~✿~

Clover Café

Clover Café is a place for characters to go for a sweet beverage and a tasty snack. There’s a variety of tea and coffee or just plain ice water, so make sure your character never goes dehydrated! If you think your changeling might be hungry and is need of a quick bite, the café has a selection of baked goods and fresh fruits! This is also a great place to meet new characters and friends, please be kind and respectful of other players!

Note: Clover Cafe is player-run, meaning players can “apply” by sending in characters to the admins with the position you would like them to have. Once they’re approved, you can make posts tagged with #Changeling Children Clover Cafe and we’ll repost them so players can interact with yours as they would with the NPCs! The only requirement is that you are respectful and do as the admins request. We will not repost your open-interaction posts and may remove you from the Clover Cafe staff if you do not listen to the admins. Thank you.

Positions available:

Manager:

Assistant Manager:

Cashiers (3 currently open):

More positions may be opened in the future. If all the positions are taken, and want to join, please message the admins and request this.

~✿~