#maddys friends make a guest appearance

[gods-favorite-autistic]

My friend texted our groupchat to tell us she watched RTC but instead of telling us like “I just watched Ride The Cyclone” or anything normal she texted us:

Which honestly slay of her

[shitouttabuck]

this could be the year for the real thing

buck/eddie | 1.7k | 7x06 coda(ish)

Eddie can count on one hand the number of times he’s been this horrifically hungover. His pre-teenage-pregnancy body bounced back blessedly quickly from tailgate parties and keg stands and beer pong tournaments, but after that? His cousins threw his bachelor party before he married Shannon, which involved a lot of mixed liquor, and then there were a couple miserable nights out after she left him, and now, last night, him and Buck the sole bachelor party members standing after Chim didn’t show up.

This is his worst hangover, because at least all the other times he wasn’t seized with worry about one of his closest friends and regret that he and Buck hadn’t noticed the empty hotel bed the night before. The nausea from hell doesn’t help, either.

Chim’s safe now, under the careful monitor of Cedars hospital staff and Maddie no more than three feet away from him at all times. The relief is a palpable thing, and Buck offering him a steaming paper cup of green tea soothes the churning in his gut a little bit, too.

He takes a sip and sighs gratefully, slumping against Buck in the hospital waiting room chairs when he takes the seat beside Eddie.

“Still queasy?” Buck asks, voice a rumble.

“Mm,” Eddie says, “back-to-back shots of tequila and sambuca are not it.”

Buck shudders beside him. “Don’t,” he begs, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. “I’m still very much in range of hurling.”

“Have you eaten anything today?” Eddie’d only managed half a banana when he went home to shower and change, but he knows Buck’s been with Maddie most of the day, and when it comes to taking care of other people, he sometimes forgets about himself.

“Had a granola bar,” Buck says, eyes still closed. “Can’t—don’t wanna think about food yet.”

His stomach chooses then to grumble audibly, with traitorously comedic timing, and Eddie snorts. Buck opens one eye to grin at him.

“Don’t listen to her,” he says, patting his belly. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“She doesn’t, huh? Then I guess she’s not interested in stopping by the juice bar on Sunset on the way home? Some sweet, sweet smoothies, all that fresh fruit and hydration, don’t even have to chew…”

Buck’s stomach rumbles interestedly and they both laugh.

“That sounds—so good, actually,” Buck admits. “We can pick up the peanut butter one for Chris, he’s always hankering—”

He breaks off as Hen appears at the end of the hallway, looking around and hurrying over as soon as she spots them. Eddie doesn’t think anything’s wrong—she’s beaming—but he and Buck sit up quickly in their seats anyway.

“Ugh,” Buck says, and Eddie’s dizziness at the sudden movement wholeheartedly agrees.

“We’re having a motherfucking wedding,” Hen grins, tugging them both to their feet, uncaring of their delicate dispositions. “Right here, right now.”

“Hospital wedding?” Buck asks, eyes wide. “Holy shit, okay, what do we need—who do we call—fuck—”

“Calm down, Buckaroo,” Hen smiles. “Just get friends and family over here, Karen’s gonna pick up Maddie’s dress, I’m gonna call Bobby, and we’re having a wedding.”

Buck’s already pulling up a copy of the guest list on his phone, squinting at it and muttering names under his breath.

“You boys got this?” Hen asks while dialling Bobby.

“Yep,” Eddie gives her a mock salute. “We’ll split the list and make some calls.”

He types out half the names Buck reads off to him in his notes app, and the two of them work through them methodically, calling Chim and Maddie’s nearest and dearest for this impromptu ceremony.

“Chris will kill us if he misses it,” he says suddenly, and Buck looks up at him, mid-text.

“He’s with Isabel, right? Pepa’s place is only a ten minute drive from here.”

Eddie nods. “I don’t have my car, though. You drove me.”

Buck tosses him the Jeep keys. “I’ll finish calling people, you go get them.”

“Cool,” Eddie says, and nearly bodies himself with the instinctive urge to lean over and kiss Buck on the cheek as he stands. It’s surprising, even though it shouldn’t be, because it’s an urge he fought and failed about thirty times last night, Buck’s sweaty skin pressed to his, salty under his mouth every time he dropped an innocuous, friendly kiss to his face with nothing but alcohol in his veins.

It hadn’t seemed out of place then, everything shiny and bright, Buck leaning right back into him.

Now, under the fluorescents of the hospital, organising a makeshift wedding for their family? Eddie doesn’t think it would land quite the same.

“Back in twenty,” he tells Buck instead, and has to physically tear himself away from the smile Buck turns his way, warm and golden under the harsh lights.

Chris and Abuela are delighted to be included, and, true to his word, they’re back at the hospital as the rest of the guests begin arriving, too.

Eddie’s—okay, he’s not going to say he’s not a crier, it’s just that his best friend is Buck, who cries at anything remotely tearjerky, so in comparison, Eddie’s not a crier. Now, though, they’re both very much damp-cheeked, much like everyone else crowded into this hospital room, watching Maddie and Chim exchange rings and vows with little Jee between them.

They’re a family, have been and would still be even if they never got hitched, but the fact that Chim refused to wait another few weeks, another few days, another minute before marrying Maddie? Eddie’s chest aches in the best way, and he slings an arm around Chris, and, before he knows he’s doing it, he looks for Buck.

The ceremony’s over, and Buck’s grinning at his phone, and Eddie pats for his own automatically, anticipating a goofy text.

But Buck’s edging backward, slipping out of the room, still grinning at his phone, and the ache inside Eddie spreads like an inkstain, blotting his insides.

And then Buck reappears with Tommy, which Eddie knew he was going to do, because who else would have Buck smiling at his phone like that, leaving his sister’s wedding even for a minute. Not me, Eddie doesn’t think. He doesn’t.

He’s not ready to make sense of the churning inside him—he doesn’t think he can blame the hangover for this one—when he clocks Tommy’s soot-stained everything and the way Buck’s own smudgy face matches like a puzzle piece.

He sees the way Chim notices, and Hen and Karen, Bobby’s eyes going wide and then soft. He sees the way Margaret Buckley doesn’t even attempt to school her face into anything but distaste and he hates her, but Buck’s not even looking at her. He’s looking at Bobby, and then he’s looking at Chim, and he’s smiling, this wide, guileless spread of happiness across his face.

Eddie’s helpless to smile too, the churning too complicated to parse beyond easy joy at every step of Buck’s sexuality journey, and this second-hand relief he’s not sure he’s got any entitlement to—he doesn’t, does he? Sure, he can be relieved that Buck doesn’t feel like he has to stay closeted, that everyone who matters loves him just the same, but he doesn’t get to feel like any of the relief belongs to him. Not now.

Not—yet.

Tommy’s made his way to Chim’s bedside to congratulate them properly, and Buck’s squeezing through the guests to get to the Diazes.

“Hey, bud,” he says to Chris. “Hi, Isabel.”

His face is still a smear of soot, and Chris giggles. “Buck. Your face.”

Buck frowns in confusion and Eddie steps over to him, hand already reaching to wipe the soot off his face, just like he has a hundred times at work. Except Tommy’s already there, licking his thumb and rubbing firmly at Buck’s chin, a gesture so familiar to Eddie that watching it happen separate from him feels like getting punched in the throat.

And beside the joy and the second-hand relief, there’s—this sense of profound loss. This emptiness, a space inside him he didn’t realise Buck had been occupying all this time. And now it’s like Eddie’s entered the room, finally, but the door is swinging shut on the far wall and Buck’s footsteps are echoing softer and softer as he leaves. Eddie’s late, he’s missed something he didn’t know was waiting, much less had a timeline on it.

The room empties out slowly, everyone giving the Buckley-Hans some space to rest, and Buck disappears down the hall hand-in-hand with Tommy.

“Y’all ready to go home?” Eddie asks Abuela and Chris. “We can get take-out.”

“Is Buck coming?” Chris asks.

“Uh, I don’t think so, mijo,” Eddie glances down the hall. “Although—” he pats his pocket, retrieving the Jeep keys, and startles when Buck appears by his shoulder.

“You have my keys,” he informs Eddie, stretching his hand out for them. Eddie drops them in his palm dutifully. “Juice bar? The fancy one on Sunset.”

Chris whoops excitedly, and Eddie smiles, even as his brow furrows.

“You’ve not got a hot date?” he asks Buck quietly as they walk to the exit.

“I drove you,” Buck shrugs.

Eddie rolls his eyes, stopping Buck with a hand at his elbow. “I think we can manage getting a cab.”

“I seem to recall you promising me a ‘sweet, sweet smoothie,’” Buck says, raising an eyebrow at Eddie. “You tryna stiff me, Eds?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Eddie lifts his hands in surrender. “Uh—do you wanna ask Tommy along?”

“Nah,” Buck says easily. “Maybe another time. He’s just gotten off shift. I’m seeing him tomorrow, anyway.”

“Okay,” Eddie nods slowly, ache bittersweet. “Just us, then.”

Buck beams. “Me and my boys,” he crows, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and tugging him forward so he can wrap the other one around Chris. Isabel makes a noise of offense, and Buck hastily amends, “Me and my boys and Abuela. Dream team!”

Christopher groans at the very public embarrassment and Abuela smiles indulgently at Buck and Eddie lets himself get pulled along, safe in this room in his heart that won’t ever be empty, even if Buck’s not filling it in the same capacity as Eddie’s getting ready to allow himself to want.

It doesn’t matter. The door on the far wall’s not quite swung shut after all; it sits ajar, crack of light and Buck’s love spilling through. Maybe one day he’ll come back through it. Maybe one day Eddie’ll follow after him enough to ask.

[dangerpronebuddie]

Instead of writing my finals, I wrote this. Based on this post from @chronicowboy

Maddie bolts out the door, Hen close behind, the Buckleys already on their way to inform the guests of the… delay, leaving Buck and Eddie standing there like lost NPCs. To be honest, Buck feels like one. His head is still pounding so much he can’t hold a rational thought for more than a moment. His movements are still sluggish, each gesture enough to make him feel like he’s back on that sinking cruise ship. Eddie scrubs his hands over his face and lets out a noise that’s half sigh, half groan. “We are never doing that again, right?” “Never,” Buck agrees. He looks at his best friend, really looks at him, for the first time since finding him in the empty hot tub. His suit is completely ruined. Stains and tears and wrinkles tell a story Buck only half remembers. Somewhere between karaoke and the fifth bottle of champagne, Eddie’s shirt got ripped to shreds. Why? Buck doesn’t know. He’d never complain, don’t get him wrong. The suit jacket only covers so much, leaving Eddie’s chest bare and enticing. But… The collar is the only remaining piece of fabric from the shirt. Buck can’t help but wonder if there’s some kind of irony, or deeper meaning behind it still being buttoned around Eddie's neck. Last night was the first night since they met that Eddie actually let loose. His smile and his entire being was so free and beautiful, even in the little moments Buck hardly recalls. And yet that collar remained through the whole night, keeping him captive. His captor? Himself. “C’mere,” Buck says, a little too soft, a little too fond. “What?” Eddie steps closer despite his confusion. Buck reaches up to unbutton the collar. His knuckles brush Eddie’s throat. He feels the bob of his adam’s apple as he swallows. Buck looks into his eyes as he unbuttons the fabric. Eddie’s pupils are blown wide, keeping Buck from looking away. He slowly pulls the collar from around his neck and folds it up before tucking it into the pocket of Eddie’s jacket. He smooths his hand over it, feeling the rapid thump of Eddie’s heart beneath his palm. “Buck,” Eddie whispers, still looking into his eyes. They’ve drifted closer in the short time they’ve been standing there. So close Eddie has to look up at him. Buck takes him in- his mussed hair, his wide eyes, his plush pink lips. Lips Buck knows he caught himself staring at most of the night. “Eds.” Buck trails his fingers down the lapel of his jacket. Echoing footsteps cause Buck to step back, probably more than a respectable distance away. He feels cold suddenly, his heart faltering in its too fast rhythm. Hen appears in the doorway, still looking a little pissed. “What’s holding you up? You lost him, you help find him!” Buck and Eddie share a look before following Hen.

[gwenyn28]

The "real" reasons why these actresses left 9-1-1

Because it is a common accusation Buddie fans have to deal with I wanted to talk about the reasons why the female love interests for Buck and Eddie left the show.

I already talked about it on twitter but due to a limited space I couldn't post links and go deeper into the stories. Therefore I will talk about this a bit more on here.

I will admit that there might have been some fans out there who were really mean and acted weird/rude towards these women. But still... there are real reasons for leaving the show, not "the Buddie fans bullied them and they couldn't handle it anymore so they left".

Connie Britton (Abigail Clark)

When 9-1-1 started in early 2018 Connie Britton was part of the main cast. She was casted as the dispatcher "Abigail Clark" so that the viewer could have not only the firefighter's view but also the dispatcher's. After an incident at a rollercoaster where Buck lost a person Abby looked up his number to ask if he was okay. They started to talk and soon after got into a relationship.

To begin with, her contract was just for one season and she left when her contract was up. Ryan Murphy said in an interview that they were renogotiating her deal because she loved the cast and wanted to come back for a couple of episodes (what we later got with the train wreck in the season 3 finale). But just as a guest star, not as a main cast again. In the meantime, for that dispatch connection, Jennifer Love Hewitt as Maddie Buckley (now Han) was cast.

It was also the plan NOT to bring her back in season 2 so that Buck could grow on his own and that this growth won't be connected with Abby anymore. After all, they just had a brief relationship and she left him at the airport and ghosted him afterwards.

(Source)

So, all in all, she was just supposed to be there for one season only. She didn't want to have a longer contract because she prefers to work just for one season of any tv show. And because she and Ryan Murphy are good friends, he agreed on this, wanting her appearance on his new show in 2018 to help him get the series off the ground.

(Source)

Tiffany Dupont (Ali Martin)

Buck and Ali met in season 2 during an earthquake where she was rescued by him and Eddie. Later on they met again and started to date. When Buck was crushed by a ladder truck and severely injured she broke up with him afterwards in the hospital. She told him that she couldn't live with him being in danger and that he wanted to continue with this risky job after his leg would be better again.

Tim stated in an interview 2019 that he loved Ali but she wasn't his first choice. Because she had chemistry with Buck and Eddie he decided to bring her back for Buck. Their relationship would have to go through the "make it or break it" because she knew that Buck's job was hard and dangerous and Ali wasn't a first responder. So, it had to be decided if she could live with that or not. In the end Tim wanted to keep her as an option for the next season as he reintroduced her but the relationship didn't make it.

(Source)

Megan West (Taylor Kelly)

Megan West was already one of Buck's former hook-ups who was introduced in an earlier season but came back in season 4 and 5 to play Buck's love interest. The possibility to give her a bigger role was there due to Jennifer Love Hewitt being on maternity leave. Therefore her character could get some screen time and she got a whole backstory.

Kristen Reidel, showrunner at that time, stated in an interview the inevitability of the couple's separation because of the people they were. Their characters were the complete opposites and even though sometimes opposites attract this didn't happen with Buck and Taylor. The break-up was the only logical conclusion.

Since Taylor's story arc came to an end with this break-up and the narrative of the show didn't demand another independant character, Megan West left the show after her story was told.

(Source)

Annelise Cepero (Natalia Dollenmeyer)

At the end of season 6 Buck met Natalia, a death doula, and started to date her. It seemed as if they had a connection (a weird one, but still a connection) and so she was Buck's girlfriend at the time season 6 ended.

In an interview mid-March Tim Minear said that he wasn't really interested in going down the road with Natalia when he took over again from Kristen Reidel as previous showrunner for season 5 and 6. He decided that it was time for Buck to stop talking about death, it was boring. He wanted Buck to live some more and to pursue joy. Buck should finally find happiness.

It seems like it was not just a creative decision. Not only storywise Tim decided to break up Buck and Natalia over hiatus. Annelise is based in New York. After the end of season 6 there was the writer's strike happening and season 7 was postponed. During that prolonged hiatus she got a contract on Broadway for "Hotel Happy" that premiered in February 2024. Therefore she couldn't join 9-1-1 again.

And since Tim was also fine with her not coming back storywise... it was mutual for her not to return.

Gabrielle Walsh (Ana Flores)

Gabrielle Walsh was a guest star and played Ana Flores, Eddie's love interest. When they first met when she was Chris' teacher, they really didn't get along. But later on, in the "Jinx" episode, Eddie asked her out and they started dating.

In an insta video (uploaded on youtube) she stated that she liked being on the show and that she loved her role, praising all the cast members. She admitted that she was sad to go but in the end everybody deserved to be with who they really loved. Some people interpreted this as a comment towards Buddie because directly afterwards she also talked about the Buddie fans and that there are no hard feelings concerning them, that she loved them.

Edy Ganem (Marisol)

Edy Ganem played Marisol and was brought in last-minute. She was kind of a hardware store fling for Eddie in the season 6 finale. Back then nobody knew if 9-1-1 would be renewed (or taken over by abc) so Kristen Reidel wanted to give every character a partner and love interest in some kind of closure if the show had ended back then. Marisol who was introduced earlier on on a call seemed to be a fit for Eddie in Kristen's eyes.

Coming to season 7 she was not planned to come back at first because Eddie was supposed to start dating Tommy Kinard. But then, as already stated above, Annelise Cepero wasn't able to come back as Natalia. This would have left Buck without a storyline. So Tim decided to switch from Tommy dating Eddie to Tommy dating Buck. Edy Ganem was free and could come back as Marisol for season 7 to play Eddie's love interest because Tim Minear didn't want both Buck and Eddie without a partner.

In an interview in April 2024 he stated that he had no clue about Marisol and her character. (She doesn't even have a last name.) He didn't want to give her screentime to explore the character and went with what he had. Or better, what Kristen gave him - the nun storyline. The idea was amusing to him and he thought it would help to learn more about Eddie.

In the end Marisol didn't stick around. She didn't even get a proper on screen break-up, just vanished after the end of the Vertigo storyline for Eddie.

It might have to do with the actress behind the character. She showed her true self more than once, posting trans- and homophobic things on social media and kind of victimized herself. Therefore it was a win-win to let her go after season 7, story- and personwise.

In conclusion: I read it very often that people say that the actresses left just because they were harassed by Buddie fans. Like I said in the beginning, there might have been some fans that have acted that way.

But the reasons I listed above where the cause for them to leave or not to return to the show - other obligations, wrapped storylines etc. And not just because "Buddie fans were mean to them".

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Maddie knows too

Eddie and Chris are Buck’s family and Eddie and Buck have been co-parenting Chris for 5 years.  Bobby’s known since season 2 (post linked here) and because they work with Buck and Eddie, Hen and Chimney also know (post linked here).  Based on the way Buck looked at Maddie while he hugged Chris in 6x11 “In Another Life”, it appears she knows too.

After Buck woke up from his coma, all of the 118 entered his hospital room and a lot of things happened in rapid succession. Chimney hugged Buck first followed by Buck making eye contact with Hen and they held hands as a way to let each other know they were glad he was alive, awake and healing.

Then Eddie said to Chris, “Give him a hug”.

While Buck was hugging Chris, he looked over at Maddie as if to say, “See he is my son.” and she looked at him like “I know!”

Did Buck recently tell Maddie about Eddie and Chris when they were sitting on his balcony in 5x18 “Starting Over” after he defined what love means to him before he broke up with TK?  Or did he tell her about it in season 3 after the Tsunami?  Reminder, Buck called Maddie after he made it to the VA hospital and he told her about him and Chris getting separated.  Also Buck told Maddie in 3x11 “Seize the Day”, “This is Eddie’s house I’m not really a guest.”  It seems like she’s known for a long time.

Reminder, Maddie and Eddie are the two most important people in Buck’s life therefore, Buck being struck by lightning should have prompted Maddie and Eddie to FINALLY have an on-screen conversation especially since Buck almost died but they didn’t. There have only been two times in CANON where Maddie and Eddie talked to each other (detailed post here) and those interactions were very brief.  They’ve been to each other’s homes and Eddie’s a firefighter just like Buck and Chimney so, the question has been and still is... Why are Maddie and Eddie being kept away from each other?

Eddie and Chimney have been friends for years but the fact that Eddie visits Maddie and Chimney on a regular basis wasn’t made CANON until 6x5 “Home Invasion” when Eddie took Hoover the dog to their apartment.  Another reminder is Maddie and Buck didn’t have an on-screen conversation about The Shooting even though Buck was completely distraught over Eddie being shot. Chimney told Maddie what happened during their phone conversation while he was at the hospital and that was it. There weren’t any more conversations between the four of them, i.e., Maddie, Buck, Eddie and Chimney regarding it.

In 6x11 it was finally CANONIZED that Bobby is in fact Buck’s dad so will it also be CANONIZED by the end of 6x18 “Pay it Forward”, that Buck is a second dad to Chris since he and Eddie have been co-parenting him for five years?   Only the showrunner(s), writers and producers know the answer to that question.

[love-takes-work]

Infloresce & Friends: Charity Festival benefiting the Chattanooga Trans Liberation Collective

I attended the wonderful charity stream for aivi & surasshu’s first anniversary of their label Infloresce, benefiting Chattanooga Trans Liberation Collective. It was a lovely time and included many special guest appearances, including (of special interest to some of my blog readers) Rebecca Sugar and Jeff Ball of Steven Universe fame and aivi & surasshu themselves. Here is an overall outline of the content of the TWELVE HOURS of streaming, including details about all of the performances! And if you’re interested in further supporting the Chattanooga Trans Liberation Collective, you can choose your donate option here.

This is a twelve-hour streamed charity event to benefit Chattanooga Trans Liberation Collective, put on in honor of Infloresce's one-year anniversary. Infloresce is aivi & sursshu's record label for "gentle music that goes hard." With nine releases in the last year among their handful of musicians, largely populated by gender expansive and trans folks, are supporting the trans community with this event.

1. Breakfast Friends - Waffle Talk

This opening panel included discussion of trans community, the beauty of realizing how many people are queer in your community, music, and morning routines. aivi shares what's different about their morning routine because they have a child. Includes an interview with Evelina Kertay, a founding member and leader of Chattanooga Trans Liberation Collective, who shared information about fighting anti-queer laws on the ground without depending on the structures of the oppressor. 

She says it's very important for allies to be willing to put skin in the game and accept risk. Her message to trans people is that past liberation movements and queer elders can show us the way--it's a fight that's been fought before. (Also, ACAB and fuck ICE.) CTLC helps people access trans-friendly medical care, name changes, and escaping hostile situations.

2. Oops! All Bangers. Trans and Non-Binary Radio

With a quirky introduction about the Dunmucky Method of music-making involving a dollhouse as an illustration, we then get some bangers from various trans and nonbinary artists, played over rad videos of trans and nonbinary people from the south skating:

Featuring the following:

telebasher - "Savior"

Zantilla - "Lemon Pepper"

JER - "You Can Get It If You Really Want"

Maddie Lim - "Mango Habanero"

Saria Lemes - "That's Not Candy"

mandrasigma - "Trinket"

FLOOR BABA - "PREHISTORY"

miles morkri - "yarrow"

Ponpoko in the Distance - "Ukijima"

3. Battle Buds: Team Composition Challenge

This was so cool! Six battlers "duking it out friendship style" make music inspired by locations in Chattanooga, each writing a piece in one hour. miles and surasshu discuss the history and process of compos. Compo communities started on IRC back in the day--sometimes 30-minute or 1-hour competitions where people would make compositions and vote on them. Surasshu has competed in hundreds of them. The composers use many different utilities to make their contributions. Throughout the stream, the hosts checked in with each composer and let them talk about their process and philosophy.

Composers and their compositions:

Hunter Van Brocklin - Cerulean Caverns

Frums - Rosebloom Ravine

Ash - Luminous Lagoon

M Gewehr - Groove Gardens

Maddie Lim - Bubble Bay

mandrasigma - Tangled Terrace

4. Button Masher Performance

After another fun Dunmucky intro and music lesson, we get a performance from chiptune composer and performer Button Masher.

5. Digifu Classic

We are treated to some lovely digifu pieces with cool visualizers.

6. Cass Cuttlefish Performance

With another music lesson in the Dunmucky Method ("Structure, Purpose, Vision!") leading off...

We have Aubrey Halo, aka Cass Cuttlefish, sharing some great music, including one that's "too fast to be a waltz." A couple of the songs have lyrics! 

And we even get some cool pixel art from Aubrey.

Aubrey is now transitioning the previous “Cass Cuttlefish” social media to the Aubrey Halo name.

7. The Sandwich Club: Let's Talk About Games!

Next we have some folks talking about games and their contributions! Panel contributors were ChevyRay, Jessi, Ko, Hbomb, Isla, and SonicFox. They discuss experience as gamers, as developers, and as composers. They discuss what their first video games they remember playing, what video game characters are the hottest, whether Shadow the Hedgehog is cool, how much evil can a character do before they're irredeemable, and how to avoid burnout and burnout experiences.

8. Floor Baba Performance

A Muckyverse lesson teaches us about melody! Then Floor Baba takes the stage with a performance: We have MIDIs to jam to and accompanying cool art!

9. Maj7 Community Showcase

Very cool pieces by this collaboration between artists, accompanied by various inventive animations!

10. aivi & surasshu Performance

After another lovely and unhinged Dunmucky Institute music lesson, we get aivi & surasshu's set, opening with "Amalgam" from Steven Universe (Opal's fusion dance song). They then perform a cover of "Yuri on Ice." The next song, "Periphery," is from their upcoming album.

The promised “Love Like You” stream included the crowdsourced choir collected from Steven Universe fan contributions across the internet. 92 contributors sent in their voices! (Small brag: I was in there!)

11. Being a Trans Lawyer in the South

This section has an interview with a lawyer (who also skates!) named Alex Moody (they/them) discussing how laws affect trans and gender expansive people in Southern states, how Southern social movements work, and some of the necessities of playing nice with norms and expectations so we can get shit done. Learn legislators, bother them, make calls, access Mutual Aid where needed.

12. Battle of the Bits Listening Party

After a week-long battle with 69 entries, we get to listen to the top 11!

#11 blower5 - hi

#10 doctorn0gloff - the trials of blossoming

#9 telebasher - NEVER GIVE UP !!

#8 rewitkin - travel log

#7 robotmeadows - we used to run around and not get tired

#6 october - you and me 'til the world ends

#5 damifortune + slash - a chipped stylus

#4 paperaviator - just existing (in a good way)

#3 zenkusa - A Picnic at Twilight

#2 petet - willow

#1 pedipanol - Together

There were also individual awards in the categories of Friendship, Community, Trans Rights, Inflorescence, Charity in Pants, Overall. Very cool.

13. miles morkri Performance

We get another set of instructions to teach us about the Dunmucky method, and then we're on to see miles morkri! This performance has some great vibes with miles singing and playing. I loved this one!

14. STAFFcirc Community Showcase

STAFFcirc composers have their pieces featured with more stunning visuals.

15. Rebecca Sugar & Jeff Ball Performance

Another music lesson teaches us about texture in the Dunmucky Method. And then, we get Rebecca Sugar and Jeff Ball sharing a special performance!

They begin with a guitar and violin duet of "Everything Stays."

Next we are treated to the full version of "Change Your Mind," and then "Love Like You," and finally "Escapism."

It was so special to get to hear Rebecca performing again. I missed seeing performances like this.

16. The Ice Cream Social: Let's Talk About Toys!

miles, aivi, Loni, mandrasigma, and Marcie have a chat about toys, with a big focus on Hot Wheels. They discuss what everyone's favorite toys were as children. Character cars look like taxidermy to aivi. They have started collecting Hot Wheels cars after having a child who is obsessed with cars. 

As an incentive to get to $10,000 on the donations, mandra offered to show a "cursed" Toad-inspired Hot Wheels car. And it happened. (And it was cursed.)

17. telebasher & amimifafa Performance

Another visit from the Dunmucky Institute later, we get some wonderful melancholy, chill music from telebasher & amimifafa collaborating.

18. Infloresce Records Community Showcase

Infloresce artists have their pieces compiled and showcased with more wonderful music videos and visualizers!

19. Zantilla Performance

Lesson 9 from the Dunmucky Institute provides an interlude, and then we get a performance from artist Zantilla. Metal guitar-led music with visuals of the artist going hard jamming out on guitar.

20. Moonlit Vibes: Trans & Non-Binary Radio

Yet more wonderful night-themed songs from trans and nonbinary artists, featuring more great skating videos, this time with a night palette tint. We got some cool stories about the meanings of the songs, the importance of leaving space in music, the despair some trans people feel and make art about, and how aivi ended up working with Zantilla.

Featuring the following:

Slide20XX - "thick as thieves"

amimifafa - "phytogenesis"

aivi (ft. Zantilla, Michaela Nachtigall) - "Tiger"

TV-MA - "I Want to See the Angels"

Isaac Shutz - "Summer Rain"

Lena Raine - "Full Moon Memories"

Siphosomes - "Canopy >> Stars"

paper aviator - "On Foot"

21. quarkimo Performance

Some beautiful night music closes us out with quarkimo playing candlelit piano.

22. Curtain Call: End of Stream Hangout

The Dunmucky Institute takes us to the exit of the stream, with a return of the dollhouse, and some very nice messages about the importance of making art.

With a final plug for the Chattanooga Trans Liberation Collective, the organizers have a celebration that everything worked and nothing broke for the whole twelve-hour stream. There were lots of thank-yous and information about who contributed what. Much outpouring of gratefulness and love was had.

I did not initially intend to attend a TWELVE-HOUR STREAM but by gosh that’s what ended up happening. I care very much about trans rights, as a fellow Southern-state-liver who is watching the freedoms and safety getting scrubbed out of my communities at a frightening rate. Evelina Kertay of the Chattanooga Trans Liberation Collective was a WONDERFUL speaker and badass and I would have loved to hear way more from her, and I believe her trans-led organization is going to DO THE BUSINESS as we fight these laws and prejudices. 

I’m really glad I attended.

[stardustshelb]

"Strawberry" Part Five

TW: Language

Word count: 7,999

Chapter Thirteen

I finished applying my lipstick in the bathroom mirror when I heard my phone vibrate on the counter. My heart fluttered when I thought it’d be Josh telling me they were on their way, but instead it was Kenneth’s name on the screen. My heart sank.

Kenneth: “Are you alive? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

Me: “All good here! How is everything with you?”

Kenneth: “Good. I’m ready for you to come home.” I hesitated on what to reply back to his message. I was so not ready to come home, but I knew my return was inevitable. 

Me: “Only two more days.” I replied with a sad face emoji. Of course, I was sad because I only had two days left of freedom, fun, and Joshua. I wasn’t ready to return back to the same loneliness I feel in Oklahoma. Just then, I got a notification of a text from Plagiarism.

Plagiarism: “We are heading your way now.” I smiled and held the message down to “love” it before taking one final look in the mirror. I was so nervous to meet his friends, well–brothers–but I was even more nervous about how the girls were going to behave tonight. I turned the bathroom light off, stuck my phone in my jean backpocket, and made my way into the living room where the girls were all hanging out. Despite the fact that we were literally staying home for the evening, that didn’t stop Abby from wearing a multi-color sequin mini dress that was so tight I wondered how she was able to sit down, let alone breathe. I opted for a more comfortable approach in my ripped jeans and cropped t-shirt. Brooke was in a casual maxi dress; Maddie was in jean shorts and a Nashville t-shirt that she must have picked up on this trip. Riley was back in her “BRIDE” white velour tracksuit from her travel day. When she put it on, she exclaimed, “Even though we’re staying in, it’s still my bachelorette party. I have to dress the part!” We definitely didn’t look like we were all dressed for the same occasion. 

“What time will the pizzas be here?” Madie asked.

“In about an hour,” Abby replied. Of course she volunteered to buy all of the pizzas and refused to accept Venmo from us. She had an unlimited budget and I wasn’t going to argue because it kept me from spending the last of my money. I guess she wanted to be Saint Domino’s for the night.

I did one last walk through the Airbnb to make sure everything was perfect for the boys’ arrival. There wasn’t going to be enough room at the dining room table for all of us, so we took the pillows and blankets from our bedrooms to make the living room floor more comfortable as a hangout spot. The deck of cards for our drinking games and coasters for our glasses were neatly displayed on top of the living room table. I still couldn’t fight the anxious feeling building inside of me. My mind was racing with hypothetical, worst case scenarios. I definitely was going to need to take a shot or something as soon as the boys got here with the booze. I just needed to relax.

“Welcome, come in!” I said nervously as I opened the door for our secretly famous guests. Once I saw Josh’s smile, a calmness washed over me. The effect he has on me can only be credited to magic. He walked past me and gently rubbed his hand on my shoulder as a subtle greeting. Even with just his light touch, electricity surged through my veins. I got a whiff of his cologne and almost floated through the air like you see in the cartoons. In his arms were brown paper sacks no doubt full of bottles of the poison he picked for tonight. Behind him followed the three best looking guys I have ever seen. Seriously, why was every member in this band so damn good looking? Were they even real? I tried not to appear star-struck as Jake, Danny, and Sam entered the Airbnb–each of them also held brown paper sacks. It looked like there was enough alcohol between them to host a big frat party. 

Josh pulled my arm close to him and said, “Guys, this is Strawberry.” I immediately felt my face get hot. It just hit me that we’d been playing the no-name-game and now I was going to have to continue it with an audience of people who weren’t in on the joke.

“Who the hell is Strawberry?” I heard Abby’s voice ask. Shit.

“It’s a nickname,” I said, trying to think of what to say.

“Well, obviously because your name is—” Abby was saying.

“I call her Strawberry,” Josh interrupted. 

“Nice to meet you, Strawberry. I’m Sam,” he said as he pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and felt him squeeze me tight. I liked him.

“I’m Danny,” he said, giving a nervous wave to the group accompanied by a soft smile. 

“Jake,” he said with no smile. I remembered his serious disposition when he was the assistant on the plane. I got the vibe that he didn’t want to be here, but maybe he was just hard to read.

I took a turn introducing all of the girls one-by-one to the guys. Oddly enough, even when I said each of their names, Josh never looked at anyone but me. I tried to act like I didn’t notice his stare, but I could feel my knees getting weaker by the second. 

“I want to take a shot with the bride!” Sammy yelled as he made his way to the kitchen with his arms full of bags. I grabbed Riley’s hand and pulled her along behind him. The guys followed suit and started unpacking their purchases. Bottles of beer, wine, and liquor started to plague the countertop space. 

“We brought a little of everything because we weren’t sure what you guys would like,” Danny said with an adorable smile.

“I like it all,” Abby said as she scooted closer to him. I watched Danny’s nervous eyes flash to the counter as he slowly shifted his body away from hers. Yep, I liked him too.

“And for a little taste of home,” Josh said as he started to pull out a bottle with a label that I knew all too well. My eyes got wide as I recognized the bottle of bourbon in his hands. Riley immediately turned her neck to look at me; her shocked expression matched mine.

“Uh, not big bourbon fans?” Josh asked nervously when he noticed our reactions.

“How did you find Oklahoma bourbon in Tennessee?” I asked.

“This is the reason why we were in Oklahoma,” Josh said, tilting the bottle in the air.

“I’m not following,” I said.

“The business meeting in OKC was with this brand. We are partnering with them,” Jake interrupted.

“What do you guys do?” Maddie asked. I couldn’t focus on the elaborate lies that the boys were now feeding the girls about their made-up professions because I could only focus on the bottle of bourbon in Josh’s hands. The same brand of bourbon that sits on my shelves back home. The same brand of bourbon that Kenneth drinks. The same brand of bourbon that pays my bills. The same brand of bourbon that shares what is supposed to be my future last name. The same brand of bourbon that Kenneth’s family business makes. What the actual fuck was going on?

“Can I see you for a  minute?” I heard as I felt Riley squeeze on my arm which pulled me from my thoughts. I followed her out of the kitchen and into the empty dining room.

“Does he know that’s Kenneth’s bourbon?” Riley asked in a whisper.

“Of course not!” I said in almost a yell. I couldn’t whisper even if I had wanted to. I couldn’t believe what was happening.

“How? Why? What?” Riley asked, throwing her hands up frantically.

“I can’t tell him he’s about to do business with my–!” I hissed.

“Is everything ok?” I heard Josh’s voice suddenly ring through my ears.

“Yes,” I heard Riley say as she turned me around to face him. “We just weren’t sure how our local brand of bourbon would make its way to you,” she added.

“We wanted to partner with a US-based distillery and this is our favorite brand of bourbon. We tried it once on tour and it changed our lives. We are in the works of collaborating with the company to become ambassadors for their brand,” he said.

“So this means you’ll be in Oklahoma again?” I asked.

“Yes, it means we’ll make a couple more trips,” he said with a smirk. I felt Riley squeeze my arm again. 

“Well, I don’t know about Strawberry here, but I am not a bourbon fan. I’m going to find Sam who owes me that shot,” Riley said as she made her way out of the room to leave us alone. She turned around to look at me over Josh’s shoulder to mouth “Oh my God” before exiting the room. 

“When will you be back in Oklahoma?” I asked. Josh pulled out his phone to check his calendar. I studied his face as his eyes moved through the many dates on his app. No doubt that he was always busy. 

“We are set to come back at the end of next month,” he said, double-checking his dates. 

“Were you going to tell me?” I said.

“I wasn’t sure,” Josh admitted. My heart sank.

“You were going to fly back to Oklahoma City, be less than two hours from me, and keep that a secret?” I asked, trying to mask the hurt in my voice.

“I don’t want to mess up anything in your personal life. It’s different being here,” he said.

“So you planned to cut ties with me the second I flew home,” I said. 

“That’s not fair,” Josh said. Before I could respond, I jumped at the sound of glass shattering from the kitchen. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” Maddie yelled. I pushed my way past Josh and headed into the kitchen to find a busted bottle of what smelled like tequila all over the kitchen floor. Pieces of glass and liquid were everywhere. 

“Nobody move!” I commanded as I made my way to the storage closet in the hallway to grab towels and a broom. The last thing I wanted was to make an ER trip because someone had cut their foot open. When I returned back to the scene of the accident, Josh was kneeling on the ground and had already started picking up the large pieces of glass.

“Good thing we brought another bottle of tequila,” Sam said, lightening the mood.

“I’m so sorry,” Maddie said again.

“It’s really ok,” Sam said as he stuck a lime wedge in his mouth to give her a fruit-filled smile. I liked how he was able to dust things off as no big deal. I wished I could be more like that.

“Fuck,” I heard Josh say. I looked down to see he had accidentally cut the palm of his hand while collecting the glass.

“Let me clean this up,” Riley said as she grabbed the towels and broom from me. “There’s a first aid kit under the sink in the guest bathroom. Go make sure Josh is ok,” she said.

“I’m a nurse!” Brooke chimed in. “I can doctor him up,” she said.

“Just rub some tequila on it. You’ll be fine,” Jake said with a laugh. It was the first time I had seen him smile. Like his brother, he had a radiant smile. 

“I’m fine,” Josh added as he stood up and made his way to the sink. I watched him wash the blood from his palm and it made me feel nauseated. Even though I was a teacher who had witnessed many nosebleeds in my classroom, dealing with blood was not in my wheelhouse. I left the room to grab the first aid kit for Brooke to mend Josh’s hand. Or, maybe I left the room to get away from the sight of blood. Both were true in this case. 

“Party foul!” Abby yelled from the living room. I rolled my eyes as I walked past her and made my way into the bathroom. I got on my knees and opened the cabinet under the sink to look for the kit that Riley claimed was there. I saw fresh linen towels, bathroom cleaning supplies, but no first aid kit. I kept looking when I jumped at the sound of his voice.

“I really am fine,” he said. I stopped my search and looked up to see him standing in the doorway. He had a wad of paper towels clenched in a tight fist. 

“Riley said it was in here,” I said, turning my attention back to the cabinet. Josh stepped more into the bathroom and shut the door, closing the two of us inside. I tried to ignore his presence and focus on the task of finding the kit. Alas, I spotted a small white container with a red cross on the lid.

“Voila!” I said holding it up. I opened the plastic box to sift through gauze, bandages, and medical tape. “Let me get Brooke,” I said as I started to stand up.

“I don’t need a nurse to put on a bandaid,” he said laughing.

“Well, I don’t do blood, so she’s your only hope,” I said, shoving the box to him.

“I feel like you’re lying just because you don’t want to talk to me,” he said, blocking the doorway.

“Well, I don’t particularly feel like talking to you at the moment, but no, I will truly get sick if I see your blood,” I said. He kept the paper towel clenched in his fist and put his wounded hand behind his back away from my line of vision. 

“I don’t understand why you’re mad at me,” he said. I honestly didn’t understand either but I couldn’t let him know that. He had made it clear to me already that this was nothing serious. I was the one floundering about in a dream world that was only going to end in heartbreak for me. I understood that; I just didn’t want to accept it.

“I’m not mad. I guess I was just hurt that you didn’t want to see me again,” I said, shifting my feet.

“Oh, believe me. I do want to see you, but I don’t want to cause a disturbance in your personal life. You have a fiancé, a job, a family, really just a whole other life in Oklahoma. I don’t fit in that puzzle,” he said. I wished he wanted to. I’d create a whole new puzzle to make his piece fit with mine.

“You’re right,” I said with a sigh. 

“Let’s just enjoy the time we have left, ok?” He said as he closed the space between us. I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eyes because I didn’t want my sadness to show. 

“I better get back out there,” I said.

“What’s the rush?” He asked, moving closer to me so that our bodies were mere centimeters apart. His enticing scent consumed me. 

“I’m not hooking up with you in the bathroom while your hand is bleeding,” I said with a laugh.

“Can you at least kiss me in the bathroom while my hand is bleeding?” He asked. I finally met his eyes. He was smiling and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. But I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him now. I felt the need to protect my feelings.

“We’ll see,” I said as I moved around him, ignoring his advances. I put my hand on the doorknob when I felt his arm wrap around my waist.

“Come here,” he said, pulling me to him. I tried to stand firm but my subconscious craved his touch. As if I had no control over my body, I allowed him to hold me close. I took a deep breath and felt myself melt into him. This intimacy, this closeness, this connection… How could he not feel it too?

“I have to pee!” Abby’s voice rang from the other side of the bathroom door. I let go of Josh and looked up into his eyes. They appeared darker than normal. Like he felt conflicted by something but wouldn’t dare to admit. 

“Coming!” I said, pulling myself away from his hold. At that moment, it was as if I pulled a part of him away with me. I watched his adam's apple move as he swallowed his unspoken sadness.

Chapter Fourteen

“Never have I ever been arrested,” Danny said with a smirk. We all looked around the circle to see Sam was the only one to put a finger down. 

“Oh shit!” Riley yelled out. “Take a drink!” Sam flipped Danny off as he took a sip from his bottle of tequila. I was enjoying my second glass of wine while sitting between my best friend and my lover. We had polished off the pizza that Abby ordered and now we were playing our first round of drinking games. Life was good on the living room floor. 

“Never have I ever had a sibling,” Riley voiced when it was her turn. 

“Nice,” I said as we touched our glasses like we were making a toast. Being only children was something we had in common and was one of the reasons we got along so well. We were each other’s chosen sisters. Everyone else in the room put a finger down. I had the most fingers still up which was only an embarrassing indicator that everyone else had lived more fulfilling lives than me. It was now my turn and I was trying to think of something that would wipe people out.

“Never have I ever been pulled over,” I said. Fingers went down across the room except for Danny and Maddie. “Drink up!” I said as I raised my glass to everyone else.

“Never have I ever gone to college,” Josh said with a shrug. Every girl in the room put a finger down and the guys cheered as we all had to take a drink. 

“Never have I ever been engaged,” Abby said with a tone that I could have slapped her for. It was obviously directed at Riley and me as everyone else in the room was obviously unmarried. Did she pick up on the vibes between Josh and me? What was she trying to prove? Riley and I both put a finger down and in that moment, I realized I wasn’t even wearing my ring. 

“Ok, that was targeted,” Riley said. “Helloooo? It’s my fucking bachelorette weekend!” Everyone laughed but I noticed a rigid shift in Jake’s body language when I put my finger down. He was staring at Josh with a look I couldn’t quite place, but he looked pissed. Sam had one finger left and the look on Jake’s face showed he was done playing the game.

“Never have I ever eaten tofu,” Jake said with a raise of his glass in Sam’s direction.

“Ah, man, come on!” Sam said as he put his last finger down. 

“Loserrrrrrr!” Abby drunkenly yelled out. “Chug! Chug! Chug!” She began to chant. While everyone in the room watched Sam take a shot straight from the bottle, I saw Jake get up from the circle and make his way into the kitchen. Josh gave me a wink before he jumped up to follow his brother. I wondered what discussion was about to take place; what I would have given to be a fly on the wall to have heard it. 

When they made their way back into the room to join the party, I could sense something was off with Josh. They hadn’t been gone very long, and I’m sure nobody even noticed their absence because Sam was now shuffling the cards for a new game. Josh noticed my empty wine glass and grabbed it without saying a word. He returned back to the kitchen and I hesitated on whether I should have followed him or not. But the stern look on Jake’s face was almost like a warning to stay away from Josh, so I stayed put. 

“Everyone needs six cards,” Sam stated as he started to deal out the deck of cards. Josh returned with a now full glass of wine for me and I accepted it. I tried to read his face but it was impossible. He took his seat next to me and I reached out to touch his hand, but he pulled it away before I had the opportunity. He reached out for his cards from Sam and then I did the same. 

I couldn’t focus on the rules of the game that Sam was half-ass explaining. I was too fixated on the sudden change in Josh’s mood after his talk with Jake. Something was clearly off about him and I wanted to know what was going on. 

“Did you get that?” Riley leaned over and asked me.

“Huh?” I said.

“Were you listening to the rules?” She asked.

“Oh, yeah,” I said. That wasn’t even close to being true. I had no idea what game we were playing because I wasn’t paying any attention.

“Ok… Then why are you still holding all six of your cards?” Riley asked with a puzzled expression. I looked around to see everyone had laid one of their cards face down in front of them. I had no idea what the point of the game was, so I just pulled one from my pile and placed it in front of me.

“Ok, one… two… flip!” Sam yelled. All at once, everyone turned their chosen card over. I followed suit even though I didn’t have a clue as to what game we were playing. 

“Strawberry, why the hell did you play two of hearts?” Danny asked while laughing.

“I–I don’t know,” I said, visibly confused

“Ok, you obviously lost. Drink!” Abby yelled. I still had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to be doing, so I just drank my wine.

Josh leaned over to whisper in my ear, “You were supposed to play your highest card that round.” Wonderful. I probably looked dumb as hell.

All of a sudden, Sam jumped up and started singing, “Two of hearts, two hearts that beat as one. Two of hearts…” into his bottle of tequila now disguised as a makeshift microphone. And like two peas in a pod, Danny jumped up to dance with him singing background vocals: “I need you, I need you.” The two of them definitely stole everyone’s attention as they performed the 80’s hit in the living room. It was nice to see both Josh and Jake smiling again. I wished Danny and Sam knew how grateful I was for them at this moment. They brought a kind of energy that I wished I could bottle up and harvest as my own.

The boys’ performance distracted everyone from the card game that I never actually learned the rules to, so I could tell the night was winding down. I was actually feeling a little tired and I just wanted to be alone with Josh. I could tell he was still a little off compared to his normal self, but I decided to wait until we were alone to talk to him about it.

I finished my glass of wine and then started cleaning up the Airbnb while everyone was hanging out in the living room. Everybody seemed to have a good buzz; I was thankful nobody got absolutely shitfaced. Nothing ruins a party quicker than someone who needs a babysitter, bodyguard, or both. I made my way into the kitchen to start throwing away empty pizza boxes and putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher. We didn’t even touch half of the alcohol that the boys brought. The bottle of the Oklahoma bourbon sat half empty on the counter. I stared at it wondering if or how I could tell Josh that they were about to do business with my fiancé, or maybe soon-to-be ex-fiancé. I knew my third glass of wine had me feeling bold when the possibility of me leaving Kenneth crossed my mind.

“Need a hand?” I heard a somewhat unfamiliar voice ask. I turned to see Jake standing in the entryway of the kitchen. 

“Sure, thank you,” I said, trying not to look too surprised to see him. I continued to load the dishwasher with dirty plates and glasses. He walked into the kitchen and stood next to me.

“Here,” he said as he handed me his empty glass. I recognized the smell of the bourbon immediately.

“Thanks,” I said as I grabbed it. I could tell he was wanting to talk to me because he wasn’t actually doing any cleaning. I held my breath until he finally had the courage to speak.

“I know you don’t know me, but I know my brother. He’s the most important person in my life. So what I’m about to say to you, I ask that you keep that in mind,” he started. I continued holding my breath because I didn’t like the sound of where this was going. “I think you two don’t need to spend the night together.”

I didn’t have any more dirty dishes left in the sink to place in the dishwasher, but I felt like I needed something to occupy myself while I tried to process Jake’s words. I started twisting all of the caps on the bottles of liquor and placing them back in the brown paper bags. He continued to speak, “It’s not a good idea for either of you, especially given your situation. I know Josh’s views on marriage, and while I don’t share those same views, I think he should respect other people’s commitments.”

“I’m not married,” I finally spoke.

“No, but you are engaged to be,” he added. “And I am not judging you at all. I don’t know you or your situation, but I do know my brother. I’m just afraid he’s going to get hurt.” I was shocked at this admission. Jake thought Josh was the one going to be hurt? He had no clue. Josh was the one keeping his guard up and setting clear boundaries with me. It was me who was practically sick over the idea of never seeing him again in a mere couple of days. 

“I really appreciate you talking to me about this. I can see how much you care about him,” I began. “Your brother has taught me more about myself in these past few days than I would have ever learned on my own. And while I dread going back home and saying goodbye to him, I am thankful for the time that we have had together. I value your opinion, but I’m not ready to cut that time short.”

“And you don’t have to,” Josh’s voice interrupted. I quickly turned around to find that he had been eavesdropping on my conversation with Jake. I wondered how much he had heard. 

“I was just relaying to Strawberry what I had already talked with you about,” Jake said while holding his arms up like he had been caught doing something illegal. 

“We are both consenting adults capable of making our own decisions,” Josh said.

“I understand that. I just wanted you both to hear where I’m coming from,” Jake added. He started collecting the unopened beer bottles from the fridge and placing them back in the empty cardboard drink carriers. I dried my hands and left the two of them alone to finish their conversation, even though it seemed like Josh didn’t want to be there. I walked back into the living room to find Abby on her phone, Maddie and Danny were deep into a conversation about music, Riley was braiding Brooke’s hair, and Sam was picking up the playing cards off the floor. 

“I think Jake packed up all of the booze, so I guess the party's over,” I said with a nervous laugh. 

“Are y’all good to drive?” Riley asked.

“Y’all,” Sam imitated her southern accent with a laugh. “Sorry,” he shyly added when he realized what he had just done.

“Yes, I am good to drive,” Danny added, giving a somewhat stern look to Sam.

“Josh is staying here, right?” Sam asked.

“Why would Josh stay here?” Abby asked. I immediately looked at Sam to communicate that he had just fucked up.

“I joke, I joke,” Sam added with a wild laugh. I glanced at Riley who shot me a confused look. I could tell she was trying to think of a way to cover for Sam’s blunder but was drawing a blank.

“Do you need us to take the trash out?” Danny asked while standing up.

“No, I think we’re good. We appreciate it though,” Maddie said. I could see she was blushing. It was easy to see why. Danny was one of the most handsome men I had ever laid eyes on. He could have been a Greek God in a past life. I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I grabbed it to read a text from Plagiarism: “I’m going to help load the car up and I’ll come back inside when everyone is gone.” 

“You guys ready?” Jake said as he entered the living room. Josh was standing behind him carrying two sacks of alcohol. I subtly waved my phone at him to indicate that I had seen his text. Now we just had to play the waiting game until the girls went to bed which hopefully would be soon. I was sick of playing games–figuratively and literally.

Chapter Fifteen

After what felt like waiting for an eternity but was probably closer to 30 minutes, I texted Josh to let him know it was time for him to come back. I sent “The coast is clear” as I waited for him by the front door. I had to chuckle thinking of his “we are two consenting adults” comment from earlier because we’ve been acting like two teeangers sneaking around every night. It was fun and thrilling in the most ridiculous way possible. Even though we had spent all evening in each other’s presence, I didn’t feel like we had any alone time. I was looking forward to spending the night together with nobody around to interfere. I locked the front door and I reached for his hand. 

“This one is wounded, remember?” Josh said while switching hands so I was now holding the unbandaged one. “I could have bled to death and you wouldn’t have lifted a finger,” he said dramatically as he held up his free hand.

“You literally refused help from a medical professional, so your blood is on your hands…Literally,” I said with a laugh. We quietly walked down the hallway until we got to my bedroom. I made sure to be the one to shut the door and lock it so we wouldn’t have any surprise guests again in the morning. 

“Are you and Jake good?” I asked as we sat on the edge of my bed.

“Yes, of course,” he said as he turned his body to face mine.

“I can tell you mean a lot to him. I couldn’t imagine having a twin. Hell, I don’t even know what it’s like to have a sibling!” I said with a shrug. Growing up as an only child wasn’t the worst thing to happen to me, but not having a sibling definitely contributed to the loneliness in which I feel now. 

“Jake knows me better than anyone, so I will always listen to his guidance. But I also needed him to realize that I am free to make my own choices,” he said as the corners of his mouth turned to smile. I got a flashback to my conversation with Riley from earlier today when we made up. I knew exactly what he meant.

“Did you guys have a good time tonight? It went better than I expected, honestly,” I said.

“Oh yeah, I think so. I mean, I was secretly wishing we would have called it a night hours ago,” he said with a smirk. “I would have rather been with you right here the whole night.” I bit my lip trying to hide my smile. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but our conversation from earlier still lingered in the back of my mind.

“So,” I paused. “This bourbon partnership…”

“Yes?” Josh asked, waiting for me to continue. I wanted to be honest with him but I also didn’t want to interfere with his life more than I already had. He planned never to see me again after I left, so would it even matter to him? 

“I’m very familiar with that brand,” I said while nervously smoothing my hands across the bed.

“Oh? I thought you weren’t much of a bourbon fan?” He said laughing. “You really should give it a try. It’s the best, smoothest one I’ve ever had. It’s why we’re so passionate about collaborating with them.”

“Yeah, I actually–” I began when Josh’s phone started to ring. 

“Who the hell is calling me at one a.m.?” He asked as he reached over to grab his phone off the nightstand. He checked the screen and then whispered, “Sorry, I need to take this.” He jumped up off the bed and made his way to the corner of the room. He was still in earshot, but I didn’t see who had called him. 

“What are you talking about?” Josh asked the mystery caller. I panicked watching him pace back and forth across the front of the room. I could sense something was wrong.

“What TikTok?” He questioned. TikTok? I continued to watch him pace until he stopped and rubbed his hand over his face.

“I mean, we partied with some friends tonight but nobody did anything worth getting upset over,” he said into the phone. I wished I knew what was going on. I was trying to put pieces together but it was difficult with only hearing one part of the conversation. I had the idea to do some investigating myself. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and I opened TikTok. I searched for Greta Van Fleet and scrolled until I could find anything remotely getting upset about at one in the morning. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Josh said with a sigh. “Maybe we can have her take it down.” I watched him as he rubbed the back of his neck. My heart started to race. What was he talking about? Who was he talking about?

“Yeah, it’s always all over Twitter,” Josh said with another deep sigh. I immediately closed out of my TikTok app and opened Twitter to see if I could find what he was talking about. I searched for Greta Van Fleet and my eyes couldn’t believe what they were seeing. There was a video of Sam and Danny singing “Two of Hearts” clearly taken in our Airbnb living room from earlier. To make matters worse, you could see me sitting between Riley and Josh in the background for a brief moment. Bewildered, I read several hundred tweets that posted the video or screenshots from it. No, no, no, no, this cannot be happening. I skimmed through tweets as I felt my blood getting cold. People had screenshotted the glimpse of Riley and me from the video and posted our picture with comments such as, “Who are these bitches?!” and “Anyone know who these girls are?” I started to feel ill as I realized my face was circulating around different forms of social media. 

I racked my brain trying to figure out who posted it because I couldn’t remember anyone being on their phone. I studied the angle and background of the video until it hit me: Abby must have recorded this and posted it. I noticed a TikTok username in the video, so I went back to my TikTok app to search for her account directly. Once I found her profile, I could see this latest video had over 10,000 views yet it hadn’t even been up for two hours. The caption read “Wild night in Nashville with Danny and Sam” and the comments were full of Greta Van Fleet fans clearly losing their shit. There was no way Abby knew who they were, right? 

I wanted to bust up into Abby’s room to kill her, but I figured that would just make things worse being charged with murder and all. I was going to demand that she delete the video, but I knew I would need Riley’s assistance because I doubted Abby would do anything I asked. I jumped up from the bed to go wake Riley up. When I started to make my way out of the room, Josh reached out and grabbed my arm.

“Hey, I gotta go,” he said into the phone. “Yeah, yeah, it will be alright,” he said again before hanging up. I stayed there in his grasp but as soon as he put his phone in his pocket, I started to move again.

“Slow down, where are you going?” Josh asked.

“I’m going to get Riley so she can kick Abby’s ass!” I practically yelled.

“Nobody needs their ass kicked,” Josh said, pulling me close to him.

“Actually, Abby could use a good one,” I said while my face was buried into his chest. “We literally talked about how nobody needed to post on social media before you guys got here.”

“Our management team is mad, but nobody in the band is. Not even Jake, surprisingly,” Josh said with a light laugh. I pulled away from him so I could study his face. 

“What does your team say?” I asked.

“Well, besides the fact that we were clearly hanging out in a living room with random girls, they are most concerned about the bottle of tequila in Sam’s hand,” he said with a shrug.

“What? You guys aren’t allowed to drink on camera or something?” I asked as my eyebrows furrowed.

“No, I believe that ship has sailed,” he said with a laugh. “It’s just we are in the works to launch that bourbon collaboration so now my team is worried about Sam holding a bottle of another brand of alcohol. I think they’re reading too much into it,” Josh said as he rubbed my forearms. Shit, I didn’t even think about that. I wasn’t sure how much detective work their fans would do analyzing the video, but I’m sure the fiancée of the bourbon company’s owner being in the video would be the icing on the cake. If the company even sees the video, I just hope it doesn’t make its way up the chain of command because Kenneth will recognize Riley and me instantly. 

“I need to go talk to Riley,” I said as I started to pull away.

“Wait,” Josh said, not letting me go. 

“Josh, Riley and I are in the background of the video. We need it to be taken down before someone identifies us,” I said. 

“I hate to tell you this, Strawberry, but I’m sure some of our fans already found out your family tree, place of employment, and blood type,” he said with a laugh. “Even if Abby deletes it, the video is online forever.” I wasn’t laughing. Instead, I felt like I was going to puke. With all of my might, I pulled away from Josh’s embrace and marched out the bedroom door to find Riley’s room.

“I’m gonna kill Abby!” I yelled as I entered her bedroom and turned on the lights.

“What the fuck?” Riley yelled as she pulled the covers over her eyes.

“Get the bail money ready because I’m going to jail tonight for kicking Abby’s ass!” I said as I made my way over to her bed with my phone in my hand. I pulled Riley’s covers off of her and shoved my phone in her face. 

“Look at this shit!” I yelled again. I watched Riley’s expression go from confused to enraged as she watched the “Two of Hearts” performance on TikTok. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Abby said through gritted teeth. 

“Josh’s management team called him about it. It’s all over TikTok, Twitter, probably more. I’ve already seen several tweets with screenshots of our faces wanting to know who these bitches are!” I exclaimed.

“Who are these bitches calling a bitch?” Riley asked as she started to get out of bed. I bit my tongue because I was too mad to laugh at her right now.

“I need you to take care of this with Abby because I will kill her,” I said.

“I can’t believe she would do this,” Riley said, making her way to leave the room.

“I can,” I said under my breath. I left Riley’s bedroom to return back to Josh who was waiting in mine. I left the bedroom door open so we could hopefully hear Riley confront Abby. 

“I promise it’s not a big deal,” Josh said while sitting on the bed. 

“It is to me,” I said as I got closer to the doorway to try to hear their conversation better. I was a little annoyed that Josh wasn’t as concerned about the video like I was, but I guess he’s used to his every move being watched and scrutinized by strangers. Surely he remembered what it was like before he was famous. Then again, from the limited research I did on the band, it seemed like this is the life he’s had ever since he was a teenager. I continued to eavesdrop even though it was hard to make out what the girls were saying. Suddenly, I heard the voices getting louder and before I knew it, Abby and Riley were in my doorway.

“What the hell is he still doing here?” Abby asked when she noticed Josh.

“Let’s start with why you posted that TikTok after we talked about not posting on social media tonight,” I responded. I would be damned if I became the one on trial.

“I didn’t think it would turn into what it did. Why didn’t anyone say these guys were–oh, I don’t know–famous?” Abby asked with a mocking tone.

“There are people online trying to figure out Riley’s and my identity right now because of this, Abby!” I exclaimed. 

“I didn’t think it would get more than my usual 100 views. I didn’t know they were famous! How is that my fault?” Abby asked, still refusing to take a sliver of responsibility. I imagined myself punching her in the face. I could feel my nails digging into my palms, so I knew I needed to relax before I did something I would regret.

“It’s your fault because you posted after we asked you not to,” Riley interjected.

“Or is this really because you don’t want people to know about what’s going on here between you two?” Abby asked while waving her finger at Josh and me. 

“Can I speak?” Josh voiced from behind me. I had almost forgotten he was there because I was consumed with my thoughts of strangling Abby. 

“Of course,” Riley said.

“I think everyone needs to take a breath for a moment. Abby, I’m sorry we kept our band a secret. We just wanted to hangout and feel like normal people tonight. It’s not your fault that your video somehow was discovered by our fans and got shared all over the internet. Riley and Strawberry, I’m sorry your picture is now on public display. Our band will post something outrageous tomorrow and it will all be forgotten within 48 hours. You should see some of the shit Sam has saved in the drafts. I promise it will blow over in a day or two,” he said so quietly I could barely hear him. I wanted to kiss him right then and there.

“I did delete the video from TikTok,” Abby said.

“Thank you,” Josh said with a sigh of relief. 

“So you’re not sorry for—” I began to say.

“Let’s all just go to bed and worry about this tomorrow,” Riley said.

“Yeah, I better get going,” Josh said as he stood up. I instantly felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

“Are you good to walk him out and lock the front door?” Riley asked me. I was trying everything in my power not to burst into tears. 

“Yes,” I said while swallowing the lump in my throat. I watched Abby and Riley leave my bedroom. I stayed turned around with my back to Josh because I didn’t want him to see me cry. Suddenly, I felt his arms wrap around my waist and his chest was against my back. He buried his face into my neck and I lost the battle of holding back my tears. I felt the warm drops of liquid make their way down my cheeks. 

“Why are you leaving?” I asked while my bottom lip quivered. I still had my back to him but I knew that he knew I was crying. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to stay the night now. Tensions are high. We don’t need Abby getting the wrong idea, and–”

“Fuck Abby!” I said as I released a sob.Yep, he definitely knew I was crying now. 

“I also need to make a couple phone calls to make sure this will all be smoothed over tomorrow–well, today, technically–it’s already after two,” Josh said while his forehead rested on my shoulder. I couldn’t believe our second to last night together was now ruined. I continued to cry as he held me. I felt his lips kiss my neck as he made his way up to my ear.

“Tomorrow night, I am all yours. I promise,” he said in a whisper. I lifted my hands to my face to wipe the tears away. I moved his arms from my waist and headed toward the exit of the bedroom. 

“Come on, I’ll walk you out,” I said, never turning around to see his face.

I laid in bed scrolling through Twitter reading the hundreds of tweets talking about Abby’s video. Even though I felt immense amounts of sadness while I laid in bed alone, I did have to admit that some tweets made me smile. The ones about Sam and Danny especially made me laugh. Some of their fans have quite a sense of humor while some sounded like they needed to talk to a mental health professional. I kept scrolling hoping that my eyelids would get heavy and I could sleep, but I was too stressed out. I got up to get into my medicine bag to take some melatonin. It was nearly three in the morning and I wanted nothing more than to sleep this entire day off. From fighting with Riley, to fighting with Abby, and now Josh changing his mind about staying over, I was so mentally drained. I closed out all of the apps on my phone, put it on DND mode, and flipped it face down on the nightstand. 

I held my pillow tight wishing it were Josh that I was holding right now. I was so tired of crying, but I felt the pillow getting soaked with my tears. I inhaled deep breaths trying to think of anything other than the fact that I would soon be losing him for good. I reminded myself that we still had one more night together, so I tried to cling to that glimmer of hope as I allowed myself to rest.

[mazzystar24]

I’m sensing a madney wedding soon (I am hoping for one so bad) and omg there are so many things on my madney wedding wishlist:

First of all I wanna start with the obvious wedding party I want:

Maddie:

Best man/maid of honor - buck obviously

The rest of her side of the wedding party is like josh, Linda,basically the dispatch people

Chimney:

Best woman has to be hen I’m sorry Albert you’re demoted to groomsman along with a guest appearance of Eli

We need less people in the wedding party and more guests so the rest are gonna have to be guests

Jee is ofc the flower girl

I want less Buckley parents and Han parents and more of the Lee family and more scenes with maddie and buck

On the maddie and buck front- I personally need more pinkie promises, a full circle moment of referencing the note she wrote him and said “find the thing that makes you happy, the people that make you feel loved, this is your time now, go find your place in the world” like even a throw a way moment mentioning both of them “finding it” I would sob my eyes out, and finally a best man speech from both him and hen

Side note I almost didn’t include but I know too many people who love buddie for me not to: I would love a reference to how maddie and chimney acted like they were just friends for a long time but there was always something more and about how they put away their fears and took the risk and maybe buck delivers it or maybe he just hears it and like him and Eddie both have a little like oh shit moment or maybe he has an oh shit moment and looks to Eddie and Eddie is already looking at him (you can’t convince me season 6 Eddie hasn’t realised it yet) and then it’s like ✨the realisation✨

[911-on-abc]

RWRB Buddie (Part 2?)

okay so here is how it would actually go

Buck (the first son) and Maddie are invited to The Republic of Texas to attend the royal wedding of one of Eddie's sisters

Buck is being bratty (when is he not?) and his bad mood is only made worse when Prince Eddie asks Maddie to a dance

So there he is, glaring at Eddie, with a little bit too much to drink, and he can't help antagonizing Eddie when he gets the chance.

The cake goes down.

Buck gets back to DC and is read the riot act by Margaret and Philip because not only did he make an international embarrassment of himself, but Texas and the US are in the middle of negotiating an oil trade agreement and this just made the talks ever more tense.

Bobby texts him "Really Kid?"

So here is the plan put together by the White House and the Palace: Buck and Eddie are actually really close friends! This was just a bit of teasing that went a little too far! No problems to be seen here! Look they are so close!! Buck's actually coming to visit!!

So Buck's shipped off to Texas

It's humid, it's hot, and Buck feels like he is going to boil over

It doesn't help that Eddie is late to their meet up ("Sorry guys my sparring session went late") with his hair still slightly damp and curling from the quick shower he must have taken beforehand

It definitely doesn't help that Eddie questions his lighting choices for their contractually obligated instagram story together.

But that night when Buck sneaks into the kitchen of the guest wing of the Austin palace he meets Christopher for the first time

Buck is in the middle of introducing Christopher to the magic of stove s'mores (stick a marshmallow on a chopstick and roast it above a burner ur welcome), when he looks up to see Eddie leaning on the doorway with the dopiest grin on his face

"You're teaching my kid to play with fire?"

Buck sputters and apologizes and Chris giggles as Eddie steals a chopstick out of Buck's hands and starts making his own and the post that goes up on Buck's instagram has the caption "Making late night s'mores with my favorite Diaz (and Eddie)"

Things are awkward on the ride to the studio for their first televised appearance together the next day.

So maybe Eddie isn't a total asshole, but he's still an asshole, he has to be, because Buck still doesn't like him... right?

The interview happens, they head to the hospital, and you know how it goes... bang bang, Buck and Eddie are stuck in a confined space together, at least thank god there is no grenade

"Why do you hate me anyway?"

Buck tells Eddie how he brushed him off at the Olympics. Eddie tells Buck how he wasn't in a good place in his life. Shannon was pregnant, he was being shipped off to mandatory service, and Buck may have been a dick but Eddie was a dick first, so he's sorry

and next thing you know, they're BuckAndEddie

Buck heads back to DC and they text a bit and Buck calls about the turkeys and Christopher demands that his dad puts him on FaceTime so he can see them

Then they are calling every night and Buck texts Eddie videos of animals to show Christopher because he thinks he would like them

(and Eddie is falling, falling, falling)

The New Years Eve party happens.

Buck kisses some girl, Eddie leaves to the rose garden, and Buck finds him standing underneath a tree FaceTiming his son

"I love you mijo, Happy New Year." "I love you too dad" Buck hears as he ducks under a branch to join Eddie beneath the tree

Buck tries to start up that banter that they've quickly grown so used to, but Eddie. Eddie snaps. And he grabs Buck's face and his lips are on Buck's and just as Buck realizes what is going on and starts to kiss back, Eddie rips himself away. And then he flees.

[snappedsky]

Fanatics 99.2

Squee goes up against four aliens in the first game of the competition.

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

--

Greatest in the Galaxy Part 2

Planet Tourney in the Andromeda Galaxy was designed for games, contests, competitions, and tournaments of all kinds. The whole planet- its surface, underground, and even the sky- serves this purpose.

Much of the planet is split into sections; each section is built for different games, holds different stadiums, or has dormitories uniquely designed to remind guests of their home planets.

Grounds B is designed to look like a generic abandoned city, with hundreds of empty buildings, some derelict. Somewhere amidst these buildings sits a single red flag.

Somewhere else in the fake city, Squee appears beside his opponents- Mixa of Irk, Nimbel of Swif’el, Screwn of Techon-3, and Bikeps of Mus’ular. From the sky, they can hear announcer Mic.

“First player to find the flag wins the game! Ready!”

Squee flinches as the other players get into a ready position.

“Go!”

They all look at him, murder in their eyes. They swing at him simultaneously but he jumps over them, lands on Bikeps head, and leaps away into the shadows of the surrounding building.

“Get him!” Mixa barks.

“Don’t tell me what to do, Irken,” Bikeps snarls, “or it’ll be your head I crush.”

“Uh oh, what’s this? Seems the opposing players have silently decided to take out the new guy first! This is a common practice when newbies are in the game. Will Squee be able to survive?”

The four aliens race around the buildings, searching for Squee who has disappeared from their sight. But not from the sight of the cam-bots. One buzzes next to him as he hides next to a wall, panting worriedly.

“Why are they ganging up on me?” he whines, “why can’t they just kill each other? It would make my job a lot easier.” On Earth, his friends are watching him on Tak’s TV.

“Poor Squee,” Tenna remarks.

“He’ll be fine,” Johnny insists, “once he gets over his anxiety, nobody will be able to stop him.” “I think so too,” Maddie agrees, “it’s like when I sing in front of people. It’s nerve wracking at first, but then I get lost in the music.”

Back in the game, Squee flinches as he hears someone coming. He quickly jumps onto a windowsill and scurries like a squirrel all the way up to the roof just before Screwn comes around the corner.

“Not much is known about Earthanoids, but if Squee is anything to go by, their speed and agility could match Swifs.”

Squee crouches on the roof as he watches Screwn go by below. Not far he can see Nimbel also searching around.

“Fine,” he snarls, “they want me, they’ll have to find me first. And while they’re looking for me, I’ll look for the flag.” Silent as a ghost and almost as light, Squee leaps across to a neighbouring building.

Not far below, Mixa’s antennae twitch and she looks up. Spider legs extend out of her PAK and she scales the wall of the building.

“Hey, isn’t that cheating?” Pepito asks in the stadium.

“Technically no. Since Irkens cannot survive without our PAKs, they don’t count as physical enhancements,” Tak replies.

“Psh,” he scoffs.

Mixa crawls along the roofs with her spider legs, following the twitches of her antennae. She takes a sudden dive between the shadows of two buildings and stops, looking around suspiciously. Her antennae have gone still.

“Where did you go?” she mutters.

A cam-bot quietly follows Squee’s movements as he slinks through the shadows. Mixa senses him and spins, but he mimics her, keeping her back to him, and strikes like a snake.

He slips between her spider legs and grabs her mouth with one hand and both antennae with the other. She doesn’t have time to fight back as he squeezes, causing a paralyzing shock to shoot up her body.

“You’re too much of an issue,” he snarls and tugs hard. She gasps in pain before falling unconscious.

“Amazing! Squee of Earth has incapacitated Mixa of Irk!”

The stadium erupts into roars of outrage. Beneath it all, the Battalion cheers, as do their friends on Earth.

Squee gently lays Mixa’s body on the ground and gets ready to take off again when a chill shoots up his spine. He looks back and sees Bikeps come around the corner.

“Found you!” he cheers and charges, his heavy footfalls smashing the ground with each step. Squee flinches with surprise and barely ducks beneath the alien’s giant fist, making him punch the wall behind him.

“No use resisting, little one,” Bikeps says as he swings at him again and Squee leaps back. “You may be able to take down an Irken with their tiny bodies, but I have no weaknesses.”

“You kinda do,” Squee argues, “you don’t pay attention to your surroundings.” “Huh?” he grunts questionably and Squee points up. The wall Bikeps punched is crumbling, causing the building to come crashing down.

“Uh oh,” Bikeps whimpers as the rubble tumbles down onto him. Squee jumps back well out of the way and continues through the city.

“Incredible! Bikeps of Mus’ular is down while Squee remains unharmed!”

Squee races through the streets, checking each corner as he passes. He sees no sign of his remaining two opponents, but he skids to a stop as he spots a dot of red amidst the drab greys and browns.

“The flag!” he gasps and starts to run for it but stops when he hears a little patter-patter. He looks around the corner and sees Screwn charging his way.

“Stop right there, alien!” he barks in a high-pitched voice.

Squee watches as the knee-high alien runs up to him and pushes against his legs, grunting angrily. He cocks his eyebrow with bewilderment and picks up Screwn by the back of his body suit, like a kitten.

“Wow, you really got the disadvantage here, huh,” he remarks, “I mean, that Irken could use her PAK, but you can’t use anything?”

Screwn sighs heavily as he limply hangs from Squee’s grip. “It’s the Irken domination.”

“Right. Well, kudos for trying anyway.”

Squee hangs the little alien off of a screw sticking out of the wall like a picture frame before running off. He quickly approaches a kind of town square with the flag stuck in the middle. He starts to smile with relief when he sees, across the clearing, Nimbel also enter from a different road.

They both gasp as they spot each other, the flag an equal distance away.

Nimbel drops onto all six limbs and takes off at an amazing speed, almost a blur on the viewing screens.

“This could be it, folks! Across the galaxy, the speed of the Swifs is unmatched! Surely a bipedal creature like Squee doesn’t stand a chance!”

“Come on, Squee,” Johnny urges from Tak’s living room. “Show ‘em what you can do.”

Squee scowls. As his foot steps onto the ground, dust rises up around it. There’s a crackling like electricity before he suddenly picks up speed and zooms across the square, the ground cracking as his feet leave it.

“Amazing! Incredible! Who would’ve guessed Earthanoids possessed such speed! It’s neck-and-neck! Who will reach the flag first?”

Two blurs fly towards the flag. Everyone watches with bated breath, on the edge of their seats, as Squee and Nimbel reach out.

There’s a sudden flash of light and the camera feeds cut. On the stadium ground, the flag appears with Squee and Nimbel gripping either side of it. They crash into each other and crumple to the ground, still holding onto the flag.

“Woo, he did it,” Devi sighs with relief.

“I told you,” Johnny says, “Squee may not be competitive, but he loves to win.”

“Amazing! Incredible! Unbelievable! It’s a tie, between Squee of Earth and Nimbel of Swif’el! This awards both teams five points!”

The stadium erupts into excited cheers. Squee and Nimbel lift their heads, slightly dazed, and look at each other. They both flinch defensively and jump back onto their feet.

Squee glances around, finally noticing they’re back in the stadium. He stares with disbelief at the cheering crowd and the scoreboard hologram overhead, displaying Earth and Swif’el tied for first with five points.

“I...I won?” he questions.

“We tied,” Nimbel spits, “ridiculous. That I could be considered an equal with the likes of you.”

“Well, like it or not, we seem pretty equal from where I’m standing,” Squee smiles, pointing to the scoreboard.

“It won’t stay that way for long.”

“You’re right. Pretty soon, you’ll be in second.”

“No, I mean...ah, forget it.”

“Huh?” Squee questions and watches as she walks away, dejected. “Hm. Even I’m better at smack talk than that.”

He starts to walk away when pain shoots up his legs. Wincing, he grips his thighs and continues a little slower. When he returns to his team’s sky box, he’s met with cheers and hugs.

��That was amazing, Squee!” Pepito exclaims, peppering him with kisses.

“Not a bad way to start the games,” Dib remarks.

“I would prefer a solid win,” Zim says, “but I suppose a tie is good enough.”

“I’m happy to meet the bare minimum of standards,” Squee replies.

“Are you injured?” Shmoopy asks worriedly.

“I think I just pulled a muscle when I did that super speed.”

“Well, I should still look you over,” she insists and points to the table and chairs. “Please, have a seat.”

“Hey, dorks, get over here,” Gaz demands from the balcony. “They’re announcing the next round.” Everyone but Squee and Shmoopy quickly hurry out to watch as the hologram screen shows the players of the five teams on separate lists. A name from each team starts getting randomly selected.

“Now it’s time for today’s battle! And the players shall be...Tav of Irk, Olap of Swif’el, Wirez of Techon-3, Peccs of Mus’ular, and Gaz of Earth!”

“Gaz?” Dib gasps, horrified.

She smirks darkly. “Yes.”

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Bro our friend was telling @b33sal0s3r about the premise of the new Helluva Boss episode and about how we find out that Moxxie’s dad is an abusive piece of shit and this bitch just goes “I thought we knew that already” like HUH???? BABES WHAT-

[00fairylights00]

Chapter 1: It’s A Long Way Down

Author's Note:

Well that only took me *looks at watch* 7 months, I would say excuse the exposition but you wouldn't be here if you weren't interested hehe. No appearance from our dastardly duo in this chapter as it got so long I had to split it in two, you'll be hearing from them very soon though I promise. Wanna chat with me about this fic or other Little Nightmares-related topics, you can join The Pantheon discord server my friends and I run! The link is here!

Warnings: gun use, open wound/injury, swearing, general little nightmares-based horror?

With only four days until The Maw bears down on The Pale City's East Coast, we meet Maddie Teller in the heart of the place she calls home.

There are four days until The Maw makes its yearly stop, four days until the march of The Guests will be heard from well within city limits as they make their way to The Ferryman for safe passage across choppy, freezing waters. A promise of a banquet, a never-ending feast on the flesh of children and adults alike. Well, never-ending until The Lady stakes her claim on the gluttonous freaks who dare board her ship, their souls used for God knows what and their bodies put in chillers to continue the cycle next year.

I think our rescue committee would leave The Maw be if it was just the greedy aristocrats that were disappearing, good riddance to them. But, with the knowledge that children were also caught up in the mix of those who found themselves on The Maw it felt wrong to leave the vessel to its own devices, not when there was something we could do. If The Lady and her staff weren’t so far gone I think we’d make an effort to compromise but there was no reasoning with them, Halle, the leader of our rescue committee had tried once before and almost paid for it with his life. 

Halle grew up in The Pale City, and he was living there with his family before The Signal Tower took up residence in the middle of town. Halle and his family were some of the lucky few able to seek refuge across the ocean, others either weren’t as fortunate or were determined to wait the transmission out in their homes. Those left behind were exposed to it, losing control of their minds and bodies as they gave themselves up to The Tower in the name of escapism. It isn’t hard to understand, living in that city the way that it is gives one a good enough reason to need an escape, but that’s what The Tower is banking on and so another endless cycle continues.

When Halle’s family found normality they made it a point to be as kind and giving to others as they had been to them, which is how the The Pale City Search and Rescue Committee was founded. Over the years the search aspect of the job was dropped, as unidentifiable beings known as The Viewers became more and more prevalent around the city, the committee soon found that these monsters were the remnants of the people left over, there was no cure other than putting them out of their misery. 

They put out word that the committee would shift its focus from search and rescue to just rescue soon after, looking instead for the children left behind as the adults were beyond saving.

I was one of those children lucky enough to be found, although I fought tooth and nail to not be caught. Adults were trouble, big trouble, and being caught by a large group of them meant certain death. I had been hiding in a roof alcove, trying to stop from freezing to death when a group of adults had picked me up, saving me from a Viewer that had caught on to my whereabouts. 

I hadn’t been particularly thankful at first, trying to bolt as soon as I was out of The Viewer’s grasp but being caught again, I thought it would be the end for me but upon my departure from The Pale City is when I loosened up, that little boat was heaven sent, full of dry blankets and food. Real food, not just what we could scrounge up ourselves. 

And now I’m a part of the same committee, doing what I can to rescue the kids who have been left behind and inexplicably keep appearing. And today doing what I can means helping two of our older kids clean up the dishes while Halle interrupts me to talk shop.

I flicked suds at Pit, the kid closest to me, watching her with a laugh as she batted soap bubbles out of her braids with a dramatic scowl. Herb bit his lip to conceal a laugh, she’d already hit him upside the head once and he wasn’t keen on her doing it again.

“So, where are we going again?” I turned to Halle, wiping my hands on the towel I’d been using and dismissing Pit and Herb with a wave, Halle chuckled as they ran past him, clearing his throat.

“The Maw is meant to be docking on the east coast of the Pale City this year. We’re gonna try and get down there a few days early to see if we can intercept any shipments. The group we got last year was pretty substantial.” He readjusted his lean against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. I fiddled with the damp tea towel, thinking of the time I’d spent in our medical wing last year.

“It’s a shame so many of them died.” There was a silence between us, I hadn’t meant for it to sound so bitter.

“I try not to dwell on that, they passed on well looked after, warm and safe. Which is better than at the hand of something on that ship.”

“No, I know. I just wish there was more we could do.”

Halle placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, thumb rubbing circles into my shirt. “Try not to blame yourself, yeah? We do what we can but we aren’t miracle workers, it’s all triage.” 

I stayed silent, with a long drawn out sigh Halle returned to his position against the counter before clearing his throat awkwardly. 

“I’ll go down to the armoury later and make sure all our weapons are good to go. Are there any major buildings or areas we’re passing through?” I asked, putting my hands back in the murky sink water, barely any bubbles left.

“Not to my knowledge, we’ll be well clear of the school and hospital. I don’t think we’ll have to go through the nursery but we should still be careful in that area regardless, we don’t know what’ll be hanging around.”

“That’s where Jas said those teenagers were hanging out right?” I asked, Halle nodded. “What did he say was guarding the nursery again?”

“They’d called it The Mother. Horrifying creature, God only knows how awful her transformation would’ve been. For her and her children.”

Jas and a small team had gone out a few weeks back for a scavenging mission, trying to see if they could find anything useful and had come across an old nursery. There was a small group of teenagers hanging around in the area, wearing monster masks and riding around on rusty old bikes. Jas had gotten a pretty quick look into one of the Nursery windows, inside was a woman, holding a lifeless child close to her chest.

Jas had come back rather shaken despite only seeing her through the window, begging the group to stay clear of the area.

“Well, I don’t plan on putting anyone in unnecessary danger, so there’s no reason to go poking around in a wasp’s nest so to speak,” I muttered,

“That’s fine by me, at worst we want the same number in and out.”

Halle opened his mouth to speak again when Nin poked his head around the archway, he peeked up at Halle and I before hiding back around the corner. I threw the towel over my shoulder and rounded the counter, Nin coming into view as he shifted his gaze to the ground, white-blond hair falling in front of his face as he pulled his teddy bear closer to his chest.

Nin was the youngest of last year's rescue, only four-years-old and found in a cage, both he and his teddy holding on by a thread when they were found. The cage was stuffed to the brim, it wasn’t clear how many of them were actually alive at first glance. At least with the sealed crates going to the Maw there was space for the kids, but in all fairness that isn’t a better fate by any means.

Pulled from a cage, hungry and bruised, unable to hold their heads up, many of the children on the bottom having suffocated, being buried in nameless graves. And the ones on top weren’t faring much better. Sick and cold, many sporting infections from open wounds and despite our best efforts still not making it. Nin was one of those rare cases where we were sure he wouldn’t make it, getting so much worse so quickly before Arthur, our senior medic, walked into the medical bay one morning and there he was, sitting upright in his bed, asking for a drink of water like he hadn’t been dying of disease just twelve hours earlier. Despite Halle’s repeated line of us not being miracle workers, miracles are what we call kids like Nin.

“Hey buddy, what can I do for you?” I asked, squatting down to his level.

“Bad dream…” came his hushed response, he sniffled quietly as he looked up at me, eyes wide and scared. 

He reached for me, a hiccup on his breath as I smothered him against my chest, pulling him up off the floor. I stroked his hair and shushed his crying gently, Halle looked on, a smug smile pulling at his lips, I rolled my eyes back at him. 

“Hey Nin, why don’t you go back to your bed and I’ll come and tuck you in, yeah? How does that sound?” He gave a grumble of protest before nodding his head and wiggling his legs in order to get down from my hold. 

I put him down and he wandered to the door, giving a final look back at Halle and I. Halle spoke up when Nin was out of earshot.

“For someone who stays outta the way of the kids to, quote unquote, “not get attached” you sure do manage to get pretty soft and mushy with ‘em.”

I pulled the towel off of my shoulder, balling the damp material up in my fists. Halle always smiled at me like he knew something I didn’t and it frustrated me endlessly, it was so ridiculously parental.

“Which is exactly why I try not to get attached, you think you hate me now? Just wait until I bond with one of these little shits,” I laughed, Halle’s face softened in a way that only a father’s could,

“Madeleine, no one hates you. You do good work here, and we all care about you.”

“Not all of you.”

“Okay, you and Georgia have had your moments. Hell, you and I have had our moments but I don’t hate you. And I don’t think she hates you either.”

“Halle, she said, verbatim, ‘I hate you, I wish we hadn’t taken you in’ just 20 minutes ago.” I sneered, imitating her annoying, high pitched cadence.

“Oh, well. I’ll have to have a word with her about that.”

“Don’t bother,” I huffed, “not everyone is going to like me, that’s fine. And she’s not going to start liking me just ‘cause you told her off.”

“I can’t have infighting,”

“Well you’ll be happy to know then that I am not fighting, it takes two to argue and I’m not rising to it.” I put the towel down on the metal countertop, my back to the older man. “I’m gonna go tuck Nin in and then I’ll check the guns.”

“I’ll finish up here.” He took my place in front of the sink, while I moved out of the room.

Despite all the things Halle did that drove me up the wall, he’s been incredibly good to me, most notably when I really wasn’t giving him a reason to. I’d grown up in the Pale City and was there when everything came crashing down. A lot of the horror I’d witnessed was lost to me, buried in my subconscious so deep it only ever came back in flashes of nightmares that I could never remember once I woke up. 

Halle took me in as a troubled kid along with Cameron, who became my assigned caregiver, they saw potential in me, a position for me in the business, so I was given a space in Cameron’s apartment in the courtyard of our headquarters and grew up in his care but if I was being honest with myself he didn’t raise me. Halle taught me how to cook and look after myself, how to empathise with others and how to lead with compassion. Cameron taught me how to use a double-barrelled shotgun.

When I turned sixteen Cameron left, just up and disappeared. He never left a note, didn’t say where he was going or why he needed to leave, I just woke up in our apartment one morning and he was gone. I was terrified but the adults didn’t reflect that same energy, something I didn’t understand at the time, which only served to upset me further.

Halle and I fought like cats and dogs over it. Cameron and Halle didn’t often see eye-to-eye, especially when it came to me, so I had no doubt in my mind that Cameron had left because of the near constant fighting. Halle denied it, obviously, and believed that Cameron’s absence was a good thing for me, safe to say I didn’t agree. We spent years hating each other’s guts for things we had said when the wound of Cameron leaving was still fresh, despite their differences, losing someone so close was tough on Halle, we never really found a replacement for his position and eventually we didn’t need to as I stepped up to the plate.

When I turned twenty-one last year I offered to take on a more serious leadership role, Halle said he’d consider my application if we talked everything through like adults, and when we did we realised how much of the blame wasn’t on either of us, that Cameron had pitted us against each other one final time, like a sick joke. He had a habit of making us fight over nothing, the bastard. Things are still rough, we both said things that we can’t take back and it’s going to take time to patch up what’s left of our relationship but not talking to Halle at all was one of the worst things I’ve ever done, and I’m glad that it’s over now.

I could see Nin’s room once I was up the third flight of stairs, he shared the space with five other boys, each of their names on laminated placards blu-tacked to the door. Very soon two of them would be replaced with new names, with Simon and Link set to move in with their new foster families in a couple of weeks time. I traced Nin’s placard, a doodle of what he said was a dog decorated the left edge along with other lines and scribbles that he’d smattered the piece of paper with. 

I opened the door, careful to not let the light from the hallway seep in too far. Nin was sitting up in his bed, his teddy resting in his lap. 

“How are you holding up kiddo?” I ask with a sigh, Nin shrugs his shoulders. “What was your bad dream about, do you remember?”

“The cage. I was stuck, couldn’t breathe.” I scooted closer, opening up my arms for him. He scrambled forward, pressing hard into my stomach.

I pulled him closer, shushing him gently and running my fingers through his hair. I could feel my shirt start to get damp as Nin’s tiny frame shook with hiccups and sobs, frantic and panicked.

“You’re okay, you’re safe. We wouldn’t let anything happen to you. No one is ever going to hurt you like that again.”

I repeated myself, like a mantra, waiting patiently for Nin to calm down. It was incredibly hard not to get attached to these kids, and Nin had carved out a little space in my heart. Not that anyone was going to know as much.

“Deep breaths buddy, you’re okay.”

I took a deep breath for Nin to follow, framing his face with my hands and wiping his tears away with my thumbs. He followed along, hiccups breaking up some of his breaths but eventually coming back to centre.

“There we go, you’ve got it,” I whispered with a smile, “crying is good, good stress reliever.”

I watched Nin’s eyelids start to droop, the crying having taken what was left of his energy. I scooped him up, pulling back his sheets and setting him back down against his bed.

“Is Nin okay?” Came a tiny, tired whisper from the bed next to us, Simon rubbed the sleep from his eyes, worry set in his brow.

“Yeah, he’s alright. Just had a nightmare, that’s all.” I pulled Nin’s duvet over him, tucking him back in. “Go back to sleep, Simon.”

I reached out to ruffle the older boy’s messy black hair, he smiled at me before turning over and snuggling back into his own covers. I set my attention back on Nin, reaching for his bear and wiggling the floppy limbed toy with a chuckle. He pulled his arm from under the duvet and reached for his bear, cuddling him close.

“Stay?” Nin asked meekly. “Just ‘til I fall asleep?”

“Of course buddy.”

I ran my fingers through his hair again, using my nails to scratch gently against his scalp and the skin above his ears. He sighed, looking up at me with soft eyes. 

“Everything is okay now,” I whispered,

“Promise?”

“I promise,” I smiled, Nin continued to relax back into his bed, until he was soundly asleep. I stayed at his side for a few more minutes, until I was sure that he was really asleep.

It was time to prepare for a rescue.

»»————-　　————-««

I’d headed down to the armoury and started my checks, making sure the weapons we would be taking were ready to go. I was halfway through counting out shotgun shells when I heard Jas call for me outside the door. 

“Just a second.” I placed the box down and crossed the room to unlock the door. “Yeah?”

“How long ‘til you finish up here?” He wrung his hands, eyes darting around the armoury as he stood in the doorway.

“Probably another fifteen minutes, why?”

“Halle needs you out in the field now,” Jas stressed hurriedly, this piqued my interest.

We weren’t often sent off on our own, especially this close to The Maw docking. I narrowed my eyes at him, Jas wasn’t a liar and he definitely wouldn’t lie to me about something this serious.

“Did he say why?” I asked, brow raised.

“We need someone to scout out the docks before we go in a larger group, I wasn’t told much else. Halle says he trusts that you can do the job on your own.”

I nodded, quietly pleased that Halle was putting this much trust in me. I’d done singular scouting missions before but not this far out. Waving Jas into the room, I gestured to my map, red circles and x’s littered the creased and ageing paper.

“Where’s our rendezvous?” 

Jas traced his finger across our decided upon route and then stopped, tapping twice on a small courtyard surrounded by buildings, the street cutting through the courtyard led to the waterfront a little ways down from the docks.

“Here,” he looked at me, “I think it’s an apartment complex or something.”

I nodded, circling the space in red pen and folding the map up. “How far behind me will you guys be?” I asked, packing my bag. I’d come back for my gun.

“No more than half a day.”

“I need to get changed, but I’ll be on my way out as soon as I can. Let Halle and the others know that I’ve left, okay?”

“Okay, yeah. Good luck.”

I usher him out, locking the door behind us. He made his way back to Headquarters while I made my way across the green to the small apartment I called home. 

Chips, my tabby cat who was more air than brain, greeted me enthusiastically at the door. I reached down to stroke him quickly before dumping my bag on the kitchen bench and rifling under my sink to find my first aid kit. It was a quick once over to make sure it had enough supplies and medicine should anything go wrong before it was stuffed into my bag.

Then I was up the flight of stairs to the second floor, rushing to pull my plain clothes off and replace them with my uniform, I gave myself a once over in the mirror. My hair was messy but up and out of my face, three layers of clothing made up the rescue committee’s uniform, consisting of body armour, two civilian clothing layers for the extra heat and protection, gloves and a face mask.

I sat on the bottom step and pulled my boots on, tying the laces while blowing the annoying wisps of hair that had fallen into my eyes away, Chips curled under my bent leg, purring loudly. I smiled at him, smooshing his fluffy face between my hands softly, he didn’t seem to mind, wandering off to his food dish when he felt adequately loved on.

I pulled my raincoat off of the coat rack, it was a gift from Arthur’s wife, Lisa. The outer vinyl was plain black with a blue, cotton inner-lining. I had mentioned off-handedly to her that blue was my favourite colour when I’d first been taken in, sitting in a bed that swallowed me whole as she checked me over for illness and injury.

Lisa didn’t have to remember that detail, but she did, she’d always made me feel welcome. I put the coat on and stomped both of my feet on the floor, a little good luck ritual I’d stolen from Cameron, it was one thing he couldn’t take from me.

The walk back to the armoury was punctuated by my racing heart, the nerves starting to set in. I’d only ever done one other scouting mission on my own and it was never as far as I would be going today. I flexed my hands and shook out the jitters, standing tall as I opened the door. I crossed the room to the lockers lining the wall and pulling out my shotgun from its perch.

I placed the empty gun down on the table, and turned back to the locker for my magazine pouch, then over to one of our storage shelves to load the pouch with shells and hooking the garment onto my belt. I double, then triple checked everything I had on me, satisfied but also mildly shitting myself was how I left that shed, flicking the lights off and locking the door.

Deep breaths, no need to panic, you've been doing this long enough. If Halle trusts you then you have every reason to trust yourself.

Except I couldn’t convince myself that was the case, the inner city is where most of the trouble is, large hoards of viewers being the main problem. And while I would be well equipped in terms of defence I hoped beyond hope that I wouldn’t encounter anything, I can’t trust that I won’t screw this up.

I walked along the rock wall, following it down to the small pier and shed that housed Martin’s boat. Martin worked as a fisherman on the coast before being evacuated, he and Halle had been friends for a very long time, Martin being recruited to transport us to The Pale City and back when the time called for it.

I knocked on the weathered wooden door, I could hear Martin from inside the shed – muttering something under his breath I’m sure –  he yanked the door open and his frustration ebbed away to concern as he took me in, kitted up hours before schedule.

“You’re early.” It wasn’t a question. 

“Scouting.”

“Jesus Christ.” Martin shook his head, clicking his tongue and opening the door wide enough for me to step inside.

“Help me with the door, would ya?” Martin asked while donning his raincoat and boots, I nodded and took my place next to the wall, hands braced on the large metal chain that opened one half of the barn style doors, chipped and rusting due to years of weathering.

“You got it this time?” Martin quipped, face breaking into a cheeky smirk. I rolled my eyes at his good natured jab, I was never gonna live down the embarrassment of pulling on a locked chain with every scrap of force and confidence in my body.

“Yeah, yeah old man, I’ve got it. Pull the pin then the chain.” I muttered, grasping the chain in one hand and pulling the iron pin with the other. I threw a look to Martin who nodded.

“On my count. One, two, three.”

We both pulled the chains down towards us, the iron-clad doors groaning with effort as they swung open, I reached for the pin and locked it back into place, dusting off my achy hands on my trousers, Martin clapped and motioned for me to get on the boat.

“I’ll take ya south-east side, last thing I want to be doin’ is getting my teeth kicked in ‘cause we’re too close to that godforsaken ship.” Martin grumbled, undocking the boat from its fixtures and then climbing in. He tossed the gangplank down unceremoniously and let me board.

“Why wasn’t she winched?” I prodded.

“Was planning on takin’ her out later, get her warmed up for the mission. But it seems the big man has other ideas.” Martin groaned, stepping into the helm to get the engine started, I followed after him.

“I know about as much as you do, Jas only told me like twenty minutes ago,” I stated flatly, Martin huffed, seeming on edge, “something wrong?”

“Nah, just got a… weird feeling is all.” 

I shrugged, turning back and seating myself on the deck. With my gun and bag on the ground, I was able to decompress. Martin’s behaviour, while not unusual, certainly had me on edge. He was a jumpy man, not having much to say to anyone besides Halle. In meetings he’d lean against the back wall, just listening. I used to be so afraid of him growing up, watching him brood silently in corners and stare through the soul of any kid who tried to step to him, as far as I was concerned he was as frightening as the adult monsters that roamed the city but after being tasked to help him clean up his boat and shed as punishment for ‘unsavoury behaviour’ when I was a teenager I came to realise that Martin was just a man of very few words, he was actually surprisingly shy.

His freakish sixth sense for trouble aside, I knew I was in good hands with him. Even if I had noticed that something had started to feel off too.

I thanked Martin as I stepped off the boat, boots colliding heavily with the cracked concrete of the south city limits. I gave Martin’s boat one long, last look, pulled up my face mask and slipped into the city. It smelt just as awful as I remembered, despite the fact that Viewer’s corpses were always taken by The Tower it still reeked with the stench of them, I pulled my face mask up, shotgun braced diagonally against my front. I was careful not to make any sound, The Pale Citizens had a bad habit of warning you of their presence far too late.

I was lucky for the lack of rain today, it made long-distance visibility so much easier and made the walk, while downright terrifying, relatively easy. I still felt it rather strange that I was entirely alone and with so much spare time on my hands why not dwell on it. 

Halle trusted me, maybe not implicitly, but he trusted me. I was a good marksman and I had my wits about me, never one to let my guard down but this still felt wrong somehow, like I was disobeying a direct order to stand down or like I was trying to show off to someone who already knew what I was capable of. The only time I had ever been sent off on my own was for a supply run and I was alone for no more than forty-five minutes, standing in the same spot while I waited for the rest of the group to arrive. 

My skin prickled as I heard the hiss of a Viewer, I stopped, gun braced against my shoulder but ultimately unneeded as the sound had come from inside a boarded up building, I shook out the nerves and continued to walk. I think there was a time where Halle might have trusted me implicitly, like when I’d get up early to load the breakfast dining ware into the cafeteria, or when I offered to run small errands so he had more time for proper work. 

I was there, always, doing everything I could to prove to Halle that I was worth the effort they’d put in to rescue me and, more importantly, that spending all his free time with me to teach me about being a kind person wasn’t wasted.

I remember shortly after arriving overhearing a conversation I shouldn’t have, Halle had fought to keep me at Headquarters instead of sending me on to a different facility, he’d said that he saw potential in me, I hadn’t known exactly what that meant but it felt good to be wanted somewhere, even if only by one person. Halle was like a father to me once, a father-daughter relationship we had built over half a decade of life lessons, movie nights and hard-won trust in one another brought to ash and cinder in the span of a thirty-minute argument. All because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, all because I refused to listen. If I knew what I did now back then I would’ve never raised my voice at Halle after his suggestion that Cameron was a bad influence, because at the end of the day he couldn’t have been closer to the truth.

But sixteen-year-old me didn’t need to hear that, I needed my Dad to assure me everything was going to be okay even if we both knew he was lying, but he didn’t. Dad? Woah, haven’t called Halle that in a while, maybe I should just bury this train of thought, move on before I upset myself.

Yeah, good idea.

Before long I could make out the shapes of the apartment building in the distance, standing tall and withered against the grey sky. It was a route we’d passed by before but hadn’t previously taken, one that was relatively safe and straight-forward, in fact as I came up to the courtyard gate I started to feel uneasy, it was too quiet, I hadn’t encountered anything at all. No Viewers, no kids, I hadn’t even seen one of those giant rats!

The gate was tall, with barbed wire tangled across the top. Creeping vines were curled around the ornate iron bars and sweeping the concrete, bone dry and shrivelled, there was a shitty-looking lock and chain hidden beneath the dead shrubbery.

It was rusted, leaving the tips of my exposed fingers coated in oxidised metal when I touched it, I could probably pull on it and it would crumble away to nothing. I took a step back and then threw my full weight into the gate, the chain perforated and fell to the ground but it took two more attempts for the gate to swing open.

Groaning and rubbing my now tender upper arm, I scanned the area. I’d made way to much noise opening the gate but the courtyard looked empty, maybe I’d be lucky. The concrete ground was cracked and warped, not unlike the rest of the city, the middle had started to sink, a telltale sign that a chasm was bound to open up here soon enough.

As I walked past the first set of apartment windows, gun held tightly in my hands, I could hear the buzz of TV static coming from a broken set of windows, I realised too late that the room with the TV wasn’t empty, a Viewer stood tall inside, its body spasming in small, short bursts, gurgling and hissing to itself. I tried to shuffle backwards planning to make a run for the other courtyard gate when my boot made contact with a shard of glass, crunching loudly under my weight.

I cursed under my breath and ducked down but it made no difference; The Viewer had sensed me. With a distorted yell it launched itself toward me, toppling over the window ledge and hitting the ground with a thud, I put as much distance as I could between myself and the monster, loading the chamber and lining up my shot as it put itself back on its feet.

The Viewer rushed me, screeching loudly. I pulled the trigger, missed. With The Viewer only getting closer, I took too far of a step back, the heel of my boot slipping on uneven ground and my leg catching on an exposed piece of rebar, tearing the skin clean open. I hissed at the white, hot fire that burst through my leg but pushed through in order to still give myself the distance.

The Viewer collapsed forward as it followed me, not expecting the small drop but correcting itself faster than I could reposition my gun, it charged again.

“Shit!” I spit, crossing my gun length ways across my chest to stop it from falling on top of me as it lurched over my body, I put all my upper body strength into pushing against the gun, keeping the creature as far from my head as I could manage. I could feel the air start to sizzle as it prepared to kill me. I pushed until my elbows were straight and put my feet flat on the ground, using the momentum and raw force to push up and over in order to smash the butt of my shotgun as hard as I could against its head.

It fell to the side, disoriented and confused, gargling aggressively. I took the small window of opportunity to put myself on my feet, pumping the gun and then shooting the creature point blank in the face, it slumped over as its discoloured blood splattered the front of my clothes. I breathed heavily, taking a moment before the adrenaline wore off and I was made aware of how fucked up my leg was, I bit down on my bottom lip to avoid yelping as a stabbing pain shot up and down my leg.

“Motherfucker.” I couldn’t stay here in the open, not if I wasn’t sure I could run at a moment's notice.

I could see the dark of the waterfront through the alleyway ahead of me but it was in my best interest to get somewhere safe and wait for help, fuck.

To my left I could see one of the doors to the apartments having been propped open with a piece of wood, wedged between the door and the frame. A telltale sign that kids were using it to either pass through or sleep in, of all the buildings in the courtyard it looked the sturdiest so it was probably my best bet and if Pale City children were using it the chances are that it was relatively safe. And even if that wasn’t the case I had access to a weapon, something many kids in the city were not equipped with.

The trek across uneven ground was hell on my calf but I pushed through, if I could just make it inside I could sit down and assess the damage. I tried to ignore the feeling of split skin being pushed and pulled as I limped, breathing a sigh of relief as I made it to the door. I put my hand on the wooden plank before opening the door, I’d already made more than enough noise, no need to pinpoint exactly where I was hiding.

Upon the call of another Viewer in the distance I dislodged the plank, laying it against the outside wall and slipping inside.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[littlespoonevan]

my arms need someone to enfold

had an absolute Breakdown about buddie and a sunday kind of love by etta james yesterday so i wrote this. have there already been a million spec fics about 5x18??? yes but i needed to write eddie having a feelings realisation to this song and, well, it is sunday today so...it felt fitting 🤍

technically spoilers for 5x18 but not really (i wish this was a spoiler asjdfh)

-

Eddie leans against the bar, gaze sweeping the dancefloor in front of him. Hen and Karen are at the centre of it all, wrapped up in each other’s arms as they sway back and forth, and he’s pretty sure the rest of the guests could disappear and they wouldn’t even notice. He’s always been a little in awe of their relationship but today it really is something remarkable to behold.

Bobby and Athena glide past him then, murmuring to each other as they dance and not missing a step. There’s a sly grin on Athena’s face and he knows Buck thinks their flirting is gross but Eddie’s always liked the fact that they can still have fun together. No one’s ever made him believe in second chances the way they do.

He spots Chimney asking Maddie to dance a few tables over and grins to himself when she lets him lead her to the dancefloor, full of tentative hope. He thinks they’re pretty good at second chances too.

Something bittersweet and yearning fills his chest as he watches them – his friends, his family, held in the arms of their partners – and he’s not even sure what he’s longing for but he-

“How come we’re the two that always end up at the drinks table at every team get together?” Buck appears beside him, slouching against the bar and knocking his shoulder into Eddie’s.

“I don’t think this can exactly qualify as a team get together,” he points out, smirking when Buck rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. Half the firehouse is here. Athena’s here. My sister’s here. Everyone’s kids are here. We might as well be in Bobby and Athena’s back yard.”

And he’s got Eddie there.

Eddie casts a sidelong glance in Buck’s direction, watching him watch the dancefloor. His mouth quirks a little at the corners when he seems to notice Maddie and Chimney before settling into a softer smile as he tracks Hen and Karen.

“How’re you holding up?” Eddie asks, oddly nervous for Buck’s response. It’s only been a few days since Buck and Taylor broke up and, as much as Buck loves love, it’d make sense if it being surrounded by it today is getting him down.

When he looks at Eddie though his expression is warm and open. “I’m okay. Honestly, watching Hen and Karen today- it made me feel even more sure that I was right to end things.” He looks back out on the dancefloor and Eddie sees some of his own longing reflected in Buck’s eyes. “I was never gonna love her like that.”

He says it quietly, distractedly, with a hint of a rueful smile thrown in Eddie’s direction.

Eddie hums. He gets that. He never could’ve loved Ana like that either. “To answer your earlier question, we always end up here because we made the mistake of befriending couples.”

Buck snorts out a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, well, I don’t wanna dance with someone anyway. I’d rather spend time with you.”

Eddie’s chest fills with warmth, a kind of fizz beneath his skin that he only ever really associates with Buck. He opens his mouth to say something – return the sentiment, maybe, if he’s brave enough – when the clack of familiar crutches interrupts him.

“Buck,” Christopher calls out as he approaches. “Can you show me, Denny and Harry where you got those cupcakes earlier? We can’t find them.”

Buck chuckles, raising his eyebrows at Eddie in a ‘duty calls’ kind of way before turning to Chris. “Sure, buddy. Let’s go.”

Eddie watches them go, calling out a half-hearted, “Just one, Chris!” that earns him a long-suffering, “Da-ad!” and a laugh from Buck. He’s not on his own for very long before May fills Buck’s empty spot.

“Having a good time?” she asks and he nods.

“The ceremony was beautiful,” he says. The truth is he’d had a lump in his throat the entire time. When it’d come down to it it’d been a simple affair but there’d been something so honest and real in Hen and Karen’s vows he’d almost felt breathless. “Your mom tells me you finally made a decision about Dispatch?”

May lets out a breath, a half-nervous, half-excited smile on her face. “After consulting just about every single person in my life for their opinion, yeah.”

Eddie huffs a laugh. “Sometimes it helps to get some outsider perspective.”

“Sure,” she scoffs. “That’s what we’ll call it.”

She looks at him then, expression scrutinising. “What about you? Did you figure out what you wanted?”

Eddie thinks about it before he answers. Thinks about his trip to Texas last week and all the yelling. Thinks about the moment he’d reached the Arrivals area in the airport and found Buck and Christopher waiting for him with a “Welcome Home!” sign. Thinks about having Buck’s arms around him and how it’d felt more like a homecoming than stepping through his front door had. Thinks, for just a moment, about what it would feel like if he and Buck joined the other couples on the dancefloor, hands clasped and temples pressed together.

He looks out over garden again and finds him easily. Denny and Harry are distracted by their dessert but Christopher is laughing hysterically as he shoves a cupcake in Buck’s face while Buck squawks out in protest, pretending to bat his hands away.

And suddenly, the words of the song playing through the loudspeaker are all he can hear over guests’ chatter and the clinking of glasses.

Etta James is singing about looking for a love for all her life to have and to hold, Buck is playing with their kid, and Eddie finds himself nodding. As if sensing he’s being watched, Buck looks up and catches his eye, beaming bright and beautiful even with frosting all over his face. Eddie smiles back instinctively, involuntarily, like he doesn’t know how any other way to look at Buck.

(He doesn’t.)

“Yeah,” he murmurs, breath caught somewhere in his throat as anticipation makes his heart thump heavier in his chest. “I know what I want.”

[bumblesimagines]

"can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

For cassie? And thank you 🤘

"can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Her relationship with Nate Jacobs had ended just as quickly as it had begun, and it had left her feeling one thing; complete and utter loneliness. In her desperation for love and validation, she had set bridges ablaze in hopes it’d strengthen her relationship with the football player. But, in the end; all she had done was strand herself on an island with no one to reach out to and no one to help her. 

Her friends had ditched her, her sister had embarrassed her infront of the whole school, and Nate had abandoned her without a second thought. She had nowhere to go, apart from one place where she wasn’t too sure she’d be welcomed. But seeing her lack of options, Cassie made a jump for it.

She walked along the sidewalk, heels clanging together and messy hair blowing in the wind. When your house came into view, she stopped and inhaled, preparing to be turned away.

Making her way onto the porch, she raised a hand and pressed the door bell. It was then she noticed one of her acrylic nails was missing, and she pressed her lips together at the memory of the play where she no doubt had lost it.

"Damn, that was quick." She heard your muffled voice and took in a breath, watching the door open. You didn't notice her at first, too preoccupied with your phone. You lifted your head to speak, only to shut your mouth and press the phones' power button.

"Cass."

"Hi." She greeted quietly and wrapped one hand around her wrist, pursing her lips as she became aware of her appearance. She'd gone a messy job at cleaning herself up after her scrap with Maddy.

"Could I come in? I.." She swallowed and dropped her gaze onto the ground in shame. "Nate broke up with me."

"Ah, damn.." Your attempt at sounding sympathetic didn't go unnoticed. Cassie lifted a hand to run her fingers through her messy locks, looking back up at you with a frown.

She could only feel relieved as you stepped to the side and allowed her inside. The house still looked the same, aside from some furniture being rearranged.

"I ordered some pizza, if you're hungry." You told her as you shut the door, turning the lock and facing her. She'd gone to your house thousands of times before and yet, she felt like a stranger.

"Do you need me to call Suze?"

"No, no.." Cassie shook her head. She would've called her herself if she wanted to go back home. As much as she wanted to be in her mothers' embrace, she couldn't face her sister. Not yet.

"Alright, well... I still have some of your clothes if you want to shower and get changed." You motioned towards your bedroom and Cassie felt a smile stretch on her face. You led her to the bedroom and looked through the closet until you found a shirt, shorts, and a pair of underwear that belonged to her.

Graciously, she took the items and went to the bathroom, taking a much needed shower where she scrubbed away at her skin to erase Nate Jacobs touch. When she finished, she joined you in the bedroom, silently watching you play a video game until the pizza arrived.

"Are you okay?" You finally asked, setting the plate infront of her. "I saw the videos on Instagram."

"I'm fine." She answered, her tone making it clear she was done with the topic.

You and Cassie ate in silence. Once upon a time, she would've been cuddled up to your side in the livingroom with a movie on. She would've laughed at something you said and nuzzled further into your side. But those moments were long gone, a stop having been put to them after the argument that ended a year long relationship and even more years of friendship.

Cassie took the guest room for herself, listening to you explain your schedule for the next day and how you could drop her off at home before your morning work shift. Tucking herself under the covers, she stared at the lamp resting on the nightstand and frowned.

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?" She asked when you shut off the light. There was a beat of silence before she heard your steps grow closer and felt the bed dip beside her.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Cass."

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Eddie and Chimney are good friends

Eddie and Chimney have been good friends for several years and it was Chimney who saw Eddie first during a conversation he was having with Bobby, Hen and Buck in 2x1 “Under Pressure”.  After he saw Eddie he said, “Now that is a beautiful man”.  Chimney was also the first one to talk to Eddie while they were on the firetruck traveling to the scene of a call when he asked him about his silver star.  Hen interjected by asking Eddie if he knew anything about the “hot firefighter calendar” so that she could make Buck jealous since Eddie is so beautiful.  After they returned to the firehouse, Chimney casually talked with Eddie about the best way for him to take pictures so that he could submit them for the hot firefighter calendar right before Buck and Eddie started arguing.  Eddie and Chimney’s friendship has been shown numerous times throughout the seasons but it appears most of it happened offscreen the same way Eddie and Karen’s friendship did (related post).

Some of their interactions happened in CANON and while most of them took place while they were inside of the firehouse, a couple of them happened at each of their residences.  Chimney was the one who noticed that Eddie was uncomfortable when that woman started flirting with him in 2x4 “Stuck” (related post) and he saw Eddie checking out Buck’s butt in 3x4 “Triggers” when Buck arrived at the firehouse right after he and Eddie had just finished discussing Christopher’s nightmares and Maddie being afraid of Chimney after she dropped a plate while she was at his apartment because she had a flashback to a time when she was still married to Doug.  He was also the one who tried to tell Eddie he was being unfair to Buck in 3x5 “Rage” during their grocery store argument.  It was Eddie who told Chimney about the family he chose in 3x11 “Seize the Day” and he also told Chimney that if he loved Maddie, he should tell her in 3x13 “Pinned”.

Chimney and Eddie have also had conversations about Christopher including the one they had in 6x4 “Animal Instincts” when Chimney told Eddie that Christopher might be at the age where he doesn’t want his dad around all the time.  They’ve had several conversations over the years with the most recent one that included them talking about Hoover, the dog that everyone from the 118 passed around in an effort to try to find him a home in 6x5 “Home Invasion”. Their conversation was very telling because it illustrated how Eddie has been to Chimney’s apartment before when he said, “That was weirder than usual” after the nanny Chimney and Maddie hired to take care of Jee-Yun closed the door in his face.  Even though they’re showing some of Eddie and Chimney’s friendship in CANON, they have been careful by keeping their interactions outside of the firehouse limited which is similar to the way they handle the dynamic between Maddie and Eddie (related post).  It would be interesting to watch some of the things Eddie and Chimney talk about when they’re at Eddie’s house or Chimney’s apartment.  What could they possibly talk about other than firefighting?  The Buckley siblings perhaps since Eddie is in love with Buck and Chimney is in love with Maddie.  If the narrative continues towards making Buck and Eddie a CANON couple, then it’s unlikely that Buck, Eddie, Maddie and Chimney will be seen together at one of their residences hanging out and talking as a group until Buck and Eddie are dating.  Even though they were all at Eddie’s house in 3x11 “Seize the Day” the interactions between Maddie and Eddie didn’t exist even though Maddie was in Eddie’s kitchen when Buck told her, “This is Eddie’s house, I’m not really a guest”.

GIF 2x1 “Under Pressure”

GIF 2x1 “Under Pressure”

GIF 2x1 “Under Pressure”

GIF 2x4 “Stuck”

GIF 3x4 “Triggers”

GIF 3x5 “Rage”

GIF 3x11 “Seize the Day”

GIF 3x13 “Pinned”

GIF 6x1 “Let the Games Begin”

GIF 2x2 “Crash and Learn”

GIF 6x4 “Animal Instincts”

GIF 6x5 “Home Invasion”