#maddnegative

[pastel-daydreaming]

I’m sure this has been discussed more than a million times but TikTok learning about maladaptive daydream has probably been the worst thing ever. So many people are confusing it just for “daydreams before bed” or “me winning a fake argument in the shower” and it makes me want to explode. Somebody said they would rate it 10/10 as a coping mechanism??? U MEAN THE DISORDER??

it makes me wanna cry and throw up knowing that I probably won’t ever be taken seriously about this if I ever try to tell anyone

[infiniteorangethethird]

the thing about madd is that it's simultaneously a gift and a curse but your friends will only see it as a cool superpower while therapists will only see it as a horrible thing to be eradicated and you'll just be standing in the middle like Ma'am It's Not That Simple

[maddngay]

welp. after a long time of finally being free of MaDD, im properly spiraling back again. i feel anxious when im not daydreaming, haven’t been studying for finals to indulge in daydreams and even when im ACTUALLY dreaming i dream abt my paracosms and feel horrible when i wake up bc im reminded that my paracosms aren’t real.

fun times!

[mymanyissues]

@ my madd: do you think you coulduhhhhh leave me alone for one single hour to revise for this really important exam? Thought not, thanks anyways

[sunbeambutch]

a lot of questions sowwy 22 23 24 27 30 - eleven

Thank you for asking!!

22. Have you ever had romantic feelings or have been in romantic relationships with someone who only exists in your daydreaming world?

Nope!! I HAVE had plenty of one-off daydreams where I imagine being with some girl, but that person is never developed or appears in other daydreams, so I wouldn’t even go as far to call them a para. Plenty of my paras are in romantic relationships with each other, but none of them have been my parames.

23. If you could enter a special machine that would allow you to spend the rest of your life in your daydreaming world(s), so you could keep all your abilities but never interact with the physical world again, would you do it?

I’ve asked myself this question many, many times. And the answer is always inevitably yes. In my paracosms I have deep and personal connections with dozens of people. My relationship with my family isn’t hanging by a thread. I can help people. I’m loved by millions. I’m patient, good at communicating, and I’m strong and brave. None of these things describe me in real life.

I’d leave in a heartbeat. And I wouldn’t look back.

24. Do you ever feel like real life never will (or never can) get as good as your daydreaming/traveling life is?

Of course. Because it’s true. For starters, I’m never going to have superpowers, or battle demons. That mindset alone made me stay in my daydreams for years. Because what was the point of real life?

I’m slowly learning that although the outside world doesn’t have living, breathing dragons to slay, that doesn’t mean that I can’t achieve things in real life that won’t give me the same sense of accomplishment.

27. What if you suddenly lost the ability to travel/daydream. How would you feel?

I would lose my grip on everything. Daydreaming is one of my sole coping mechanisms. Whenever I’m in a bad emotional state, I go straight to daydreaming. In a large crowd, or noisy room, where normally I would begin to shut down and panic, I can daydream, and it makes things easier. Hell, I even daydream when I’m in physical pain. MaDD has made serious negative affects on my life, but I also use it as a way to get through each day.

My daydreams give me the motivation to continue doing the things I love. Reading, creating art… all of my passions lead back to my paracosms in some way.

I love my paras as if they were real people, as nearly every other MaDDer does. If I suddenly lost all connection with them, I’d never be the same.

30. How does traveling/daydreaming influence your life? Do you think it’s a positive or a negative effect, overall?

This is a hard question to answer for me. My view of MaDD changes constantly depending on how well things are going for me that particular moment.

One day, if all my daydreams were pleasant and exciting, and if I didn’t feel like I had hindered my productivity too much by daydreaming, I’d be very grateful to have MaDD.

What an amazing thing, to be able to have such vivid and emotional scenes play out in my head! To have the power to map out entire worlds and plots with dozens of characters, have it all branch out in my mind, like a intricate spiderweb only I know how to navigate.

I feel gifted.

The next day, I have five separate things to accomplish and I do none of them. I spend all day looking up, my eyes glazed over and my mouth moving slightly. I haven’t said hello to anyone today. A friend sits with me and makes small talk, but it’s obvious I’m not engaged. They give up. I don’t blame them. A scene I was enjoying suddenly takes a violent turn, and I can’t go back, it continues to play out. It doesn’t matter how much it scares or disgusts me, my daydreams have a mind of their own. I try to get the images out of my head but I can’t, and all the while there are papers still waiting in a messy stack on my desk. It’s been dark for hours and I still haven’t touched them. I haven’t brushed my teeth in two days. None of it matters, nothing in this world matters when in the other I can finally fly.  

I feel hopeless.

[perseus-raine]

When you're trying to focus on something but you can't because the daydreams are slowly taking over and you're just

[moved-to-darkplanets]

I'd support this. It's often a pain in the ass but it's a major part of my identity and self-perception as well.

Tbh at this point the most distress I get is that my innerworld isn't real and I don't live there rather than feeling like I'm missing my life or anything like that. There's large stretches of my life that I WANT to miss.

Can we make #maddpositive and #maddnegative (or something similar) a thing pls?

They could function as both community tags and trigger warnings. I mean think about it:

If you want to post about how much you love your paras, playlists you like to listen to while daydreaming or about how you could never imagine your life without MADD because xyz then you can post that in the maddpositive tag.

But you can blacklist “maddpositive” if you want to quit daydreaming

On the other hand, if you want to post about how MADD has impacted your life negatively or about tips on how to control/ stop your daydreaming you can post that in the maddnegative tag.

But you can blacklist “maddnegative” if you feel so close to your daydreams that you don’t want to associate them with more/ any negative things

Note: I know that probably very few of us 100% fit into the categories of “maddnegative” and “maddpositive” but that’s just the general concept. It’s more about how we tag specific posts

[pastel-daydreaming]

When you realize that no one is probably going to love you as much as your paras do in your daydreams 😔🔫

[infiniteorangethethird]

I know we tend to joke abt how much we love to traumatise our paras but how tf am I supposed to explain triggering daydreams to others? Like, "hi, I just spent the last few hours willingly imagining deeply emotionally scarring scenarios that will leave me spiraling for weeks. Yes, I highly enjoyed doing so, and I will most definitely do it again. Please do not disturb me I am in a very dark place rn" just doesn't really roll off the tongue now does it

[languidschizoid]

and i am again reminded of why i usually avoid the actuallymadd tag

[perseus-raine]

Getting excited to ride the bus just so you can listen to music and daydream.

[infiniteorangethethird]

Am I Feeling Bad Because My Paras Are Traumatized or Are My Paras Traumatized Because I’m Feeling Bad: a 3000-word essay by me

[pastel-daydreaming]

My madd has only worsened since I’ve started social distancing. I can’t do anything and I’m behind on all of my online work 💅🏼✨😌

[languidschizoid]

Can we make #maddpositive and #maddnegative (or something similar) a thing pls?

They could function as both community tags and trigger warnings. I mean think about it:

If you want to post about how much you love your paras, playlists you like to listen to while daydreaming or about how you could never imagine your life without MADD because xyz then you can post that in the maddpositive tag.

But you can blacklist “maddpositive” if you want to quit daydreaming

On the other hand, if you want to post about how MADD has impacted your life negatively or about tips on how to control/ stop your daydreaming you can post that in the maddnegative tag.

But you can blacklist “maddnegative” if you feel so close to your daydreams that you don’t want to associate them with more/ any negative things

Note: I know that probably very few of us 100% fit into the categories of “maddnegative” and “maddpositive” but that’s just the general concept. It’s more about how we tag specific posts