#mad at the system yet again
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bpdohwhatajoy · 2 months ago
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Every mentally ill, neurodivergent, and disabled person deserves $1000000000000000000000000000 yearly just for existing so they don’t have to worry about how they’re going to get money when they can’t work or sustain themselves
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moondharse · 10 days ago
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Looking back at the "severe" social anxiety diagnosis I got as a teen ..
It's like, if I went to a therapist and said: "I do not like being stabbed with knives. I do activly avoid situations that involve me being stabbed with knives. When I have to face a situation where I can expect to be stabbed with knives, I dread it and can sometimes not bring myself to pull through, no matter how much I want to reap the benefit I am after, that requires the situation."
And the therapist went: "Oh, so you're irrationally afraid of people. Got it."
#this is about being trans mostly#have you considered that avoidance is the most normal response to hurtfull things#I am so mad about the medical gegligence and malpractice I had to endure throughout my life.#negligence#fuck#but then again; people like me along with out pain and sorrow are invisible and don't matter#transmasc#transandrophobia#fuck capitalism#nonbinary#non binary#genderqueer#people are always 'doctors are important' and shit but I have yet to meet one doctor that even isn't activly awful. The bar is on the#fucking ground#yet among the 20-30 Doctors I have met#none could clear it. there were like 2 who I didn't interact long enought with to determine anything#whe rest quickly proved themselves.#and trans issues is only the littelest part here. the outright treating me as a second class human and basically sa take the cake for worst#but the systemic apathy and not doing anything to help me#a child that has expressed urgent help needed#abusive teachers and family and not a single support person in my life and they ignored me#now I'm still stuck with my 'parents' (not that they ever did that job) who continue their abuse unchanged to this day but now I'm also#severly burnt out (untreated for years now)#and compleatly unable to do literally anything beyond some! hygene and getting food from the kitchen as needed. but yeah#i totally don't need help.#idek why I am writing this. just venting into a new void I guess. whatever. i'll die soon anyways. my body is telling me. the extended#isolation#and unhealthy lifestyle is gonna kill me and then noone will care either
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numbuh424 · 7 months ago
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I don't know if anyone else will appreciate this but if there are any other Death Note fans out there who also enjoy the TV show Taskmaster I am making a DN on Taskmaster AU so self-indulgent and I am pleading that you make yourselves known to me cause I can't be alone in this
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proudfreakmetarusonikku · 3 months ago
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people need to realise tone policing and respectability politics are literally not at all related to people not listening to you because you're being hurtful. there’s a difference between being angry and loud and aggressive towards people who are causing you harm and just downright cruelty, and even if you’re making the best points in the world no one will listen to you if you do so in a cruel and demeaning manner because they will not trust you’re acting in good faith! and that is not their fault! if you’re not trustworthy and you're throwing innocent people under the bus, how can an uneducated layman know if you’re talking about an actual problem in an extremely unhelpful way or if you’re trying to justify that cruelty? especially since On This Website we have had frequent examples of terfs using bullshit concern trolling about ace people or bisexual people or nonbinary people to try and groom vulnerable queer people into their ideology. people aren’t naive and if you act like one of those people aren’t going to risk you being another wave of them. this is not to say people who act like this are inherently evil or terfy a lot of the times i see people doing this i agree with their central point.
like, for example, there’s been a lot of posts in this nature about transphobia i 100% agree with but also i cannot engage with bc they are deliberately and repeatedly misgendering me and other nonbinary people by reducing us down to our genitals and mocking us for not fitting into the transmasc transfem mould they automatically decided was inclusive when it really isn’t at all in the slightest then forcing us into it anyway. i am not going to reblog posts calling me slurs, even if i think they’re factually correct, because that’s cruel and bigoted. but that’s just one example. one i see brought up and thankfully avoided a lot recently is misogyny towards white women being used in discussions about white women and privilege. white women do have white privilege obviously and that is worthy of discussion. but it is Not okay to mock abuse or spread literal incel rhetoric about the dog pill (like, that is Literal incel forum shit, and they use it against women of colour too why are you normalising it) that’s just violent misogyny. or a lot of self proclaimed “leftists” who can critique capitalism super well but can’t stop throwing around the r slur and spreading eugenicist rhetoric. and the list goes on and on. people will not listen to you if you are racist or homophobic or misogynistic or whatever even if you are totally 100% correct bc people aren’t going to be reading to the end of your post to see that if you sound like blaire white they’ll just block you immediately and even if they do people who don’t know enough on that topic- so, presumably the people you’re trying to reach while doing activism????- will genuinely have no way of knowing if you’re fucking with them or not bc that Has happened and people who do know enough haven’t learnt anything and have just spent the last half hour being called slurs which means you’ve just been an asshole for no reason.
there’s a difference between righteous anger and impoliteness (very fair and understandable) to downright being a cruel bigot to people (which makes you look like a shit stirrer at best) and that needs to be noted. being angry is fine. but being a rude asshole to people bc they’re a minority- even if you are one yourself, even if you’re “more oppressed” (which is really fucking hard to quantify anyway bc believe it or not different things are discriminated against to different degrees based on a wild number of topics especially since america is in fact not the only place with bigotry and bigotry like everything culturally upheld can vary wildly in expression even if it’s the same bullshit deep down)- makes you literally completely indistinguishable from some edgelord troll to people who are trying to learn and just insults people who know enough to deduce you’re correct.
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diredeliverance · 9 months ago
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This was supposed to just be a quick, barely-more-than-stick-figures doodle to remember a pose for later, but every time I glanced down at my sketchbook while doing something else I thought "ah, I could add one little detail for fun" until it stopped being a helpful pose reference and became some other thing. Watch your back or something
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sensitivegoblin · 4 months ago
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AHG!!!!!!!!!!!
Im screaming until my throat hurts in my mind
#im so stupid n fucked up with mood swings#and i keep fucking up in my masking#like my dads not mean but hes just grumpy n blunt#so i just feel like i keep fucking up in everyday interactions#like every other sentence i say was just not the right one no matter how hard i try#like....he likes breakfast alot ok and gets sad of he sleeps too late on weekends#so i call him and he sounded upset so i tried to give an out like “oh its ok take your time” or something similar and he just louder and-#-angerier the kinder i try to be#so like what the fuck? :(#life just feels like a video game and some how im picking all the wrong dialoge options#masked? wrong. unmasked? wrong. mirror? wrong. wallflower? STILL SOMEHOW WRONG#writing those out n realizing how untrue i am to myself 95% of my time.....:')#fuck#i just reallu cant get it right#also admitidly i wanted to get out the house cus im having a bad mental episode kinda night like im warding off an anxiety attack#so it just hurts extra to be proven yet again that my dad has changed with age and now i am alone#:'(#im so sso so sad i wish i could cry with someone safe that would try to stop me just comfort me#i really really REALLY need to cry :(#but my emotions just make my dad mad......#and crying alone hurts my fucking chest so badly and usually ends in SH#i wish i could end it but im so scared of failing and pain and being a burden#i hate that im so stupid and broken i wish i was normal and could work and live in a real house :(#i just have so little hope for my future#and taking it one day at a time is for people who dont have literal Hell in there head#their*#i should let myself cry to get it out of my system but im so alone#i wish i could mentally step back and let someone else take the wheel.....#some people are mean drunks and then theres me; crying on my hands and knees scream begging to God to posses me with an Angel#i try to think that God has a plan and itll be worth it but....what if the plan is im a background chatecter and fade away?
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kat-writes-things · 8 months ago
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I also have a... book? I'm writing. I don't quite know if I can call it a book yet - it's currently a bunch of scenes that I've written which are reeeeeeeeeeaally far apart time/space/realm wise and I will have to find some way to connect them at some point. ANYWAY I'll post some of that here too ig.
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Adding to the both can be true list:
the public should have access to carbon emission data for billionaires/corporations
individual humans are entitled to safety and privacy
See, even if she's not the worst offender when it comes to a private jet... she still uses excessively, though
#And shame does not actually lead to changing behavior like this has been proven over and over again#Taylor isnt just entitled to privacy until she does something that you don’t approve of. Like that right isn’t conditional.#Idk I’m just so sick of swifties saying that she deserves privacy/safety and then changing that when they hear something unsavory#And the argument that her case will silence accountability for private jet users everywhere makes me SO upset#Because that logic carries through the opposite way too- if she loses the case that has implications for every normal stalking victim#So it’s a catch 22. And if you only see the damage to holding billionaires “accountable” and not the damage to stalking victims??#that’s fucked up!!! True accountability comes from mutual respect- not shame/punishment#And it just goes back to like… online activist points. They just like being seen as someone who cares about billionaire jet emissions.#Nothing any of us on social media say will change her behavior and it won’t change legislation but it sure does send a message#A message that it’s okay to follow someone’s every move in case you catch them doing something Bad.#C tags#Jet tracking#C#And it makes me extra mad because the people who care about carbon emissions generally have leftist beliefs#And yet don’t have an understanding of accountability and harm and how we engage with each other to move through harm#It’s all optics#how are we meant to build a world that doesn’t rely on carceral systems yet we’re over here arguing if Taylor swift is good or evil???#With the implication that if we decide she’s evil she should be shamed and punished and not supported in finding alternatives to the harm#And exploring why she caused the harm#Why does she need to use jets? How does misogyny and the surveillance state play into it? How do our actions on social media contribute?#Who is responsible for engaging Taylor swift in an accountability process? What would that look like?#What do touring musicians need to travel sustainably? Can we mobilize swifties to fight for accessible national trains?
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no-144444 · 2 days ago
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don’t embarrass me- l.norris
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summary: lando and you have a fight on NYE
pairing: lando norris x fem! reader
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You were angry. Every five seconds you had a friend asking if you and Lando had broken up, all because Maugi (one of Lando’s friends) was trying to make it look like she was with Lando. It was infuriating.
“You alright baby?” Lando whispered as he leant against you, the party already in full swing. You looked fabulous. Silver and gold for the new year. You looked like a million bucks. Yet you felt like a fraud. Every time you saw them together you felt yourself… shrink. Like you had to make room for their friendship. Whenever you’d try to talk to him about it, you were met with more questions than answers, and a lot of aggression.
You didn’t care anymore.
“I’m good,” you smiled. “You?”
“I’m great,” he smirked, pulling your waist into his. “You look fucking gorgeous,” he whispered, dotting kisses against your cheek.
You grinned. “Thanks baby.”
His grip tightened but over his shoulder you saw him. Oscar. Lando’s teammate. Lando’s friend. You had a plan, and you were going to make Lando pay for brushing you off.
“Wanna get out of here-?” Lando had started to speak, but he was cut off when you walked away, and straight into Oscar’s arms. He assumed after a little while, you’d come back. You didn’t. You and Oscar spent all of New Year’s Together, while Lando was stuck with Max and Pietra looking every part the perfect couple.
“Why are you sulking?” Max laughed, clapping Lando on the back.
“She’s gone off with Oscar,” he mumbled, looking up as he leant against the balcony railing.
“He is her best mate,��� he pointed out. “Join the conversation, or at least hang off her like you usually do.”
He huffed. “She’s mad at me.”
“What did you do this time?” P asked.
“The whole Maugi thing kind of got to her, and when she’d ask me… I kind of brushed her off. She's been off for weeks.”
“So you fucked up?” Max sighed.
“I fucked up,” he nodded. “And now she’s ignoring me, and it’s 3 minutes to midnight.”
“She’ll let you be her New Year’s kiss, surely,” Max scoffed.
Lando nodded, deciding to go find you, but the uncertainty in his stomach had settled long ago.
He caught you from across the room, the absolute picture of beauty. Dancing haphazardly with Lily as Oscar held both your drinks, you danced, somehow looking somehow carefree and elegant at the same time. He smiled. The anxiety in his chest settled momentarily. You were still you. You were still his. You were just upset.
“It’s almost midnight,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, joining you in dancing as Lily excused herself to the bar. The red flashing lights and alcohol in both your systems made your dancing look a lot dirtier than it had intended to be, but alas, he just enjoyed feeling you close.
“Oh yeah?” You asked, turning around to him. “Finding Maugi anytime soon?”
He rolled his eyes. “You think I’d want her over you?”
“You don’t make it look any different,” you scoffed.
“Baby,” he smirked, practically laughing. “You’re the most perfect, incredible, kind, woman I have ever met. I love you. You’re my everything. I’ll admit when you came to me about it, I could’ve responded better, and I’m sorry. I was stressed about the way the media saw it, and I didn’t know how to respond to you. I’m sorry.”
You smirked. “That’s all I needed.”
He giggled, pulling you into him. How had he ever pulled you? He was such a loser when it came to you. He’d do anything.
“Do I get my midnight kiss?” He smiled, his cheeks blushing.
“You’re such a baby,” you chuckled as the timer counted down. You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Don’t ever embarrass me like you have, ever again.”
You pressed your lips to his and bit down on his bottom lip. You made him scared. Is it bad that made him hard?
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hvnlygrl · 11 days ago
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hello! may u please take my request? :) ♡
rafe cameron and reader are at a party and she starts acting bratty and telling him to go away and shoving him off and then he leans down and whispers in her ear to tell her to meet him in the bathroom for a spanking as punishment but she tells him no and that they should just do jt at home and then he smirks and leans down again saying that if they do it at home he'll make it 10x rougher, then he leaves, giving reader no choice as he watches her from afar with a smirk as she nervously chips on her nail and bouncing her leg. also can u write the smut punishment (edging)
brat.
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pairing — rafe cameron x fem!reader
word count — 2.4k
warnings — smut minors dni — raw sex (wrap it up y’all), rafe edges the fuck out of reader, crying due to edging, p in v, oral (f rec), creampie 🫣, uhhh, dirty talk, little bit of after care.
synopsis — at a party on figure 8, you begin testing rafe’s patience with your attitude. he’s not the type to let shit slide, and you’re in for a long night.
notes — HOT HOT HOT woah now i ate with this i think… thanks for the request anon! sorry it took so long i hope this makes up for it tho 💌
the first time, rafe had to admit, it was cute. but by the third and fourth, he knew you were doing it on purpose. consistently teasing him by letting your ass glide against the thin fabric of his shorts as you passed in front of him, or the winks you shot his way over the rim of your cup. he wasn’t mad, per se, just frustrated.
rafe knew you were riling him up, and he knew that it was working. however, he wasn’t ready to leave, the two of you had only been at the party for a total of an hour.
rafe also knew that the more alcohol went into your system, the more you would tease him. and he was right, the longer it took for you to get your way with him, the more horny you felt and the more you pushed.
you finally found a moment where he was away from his friends, using that as your opportunity to whisper into his ear, “baby, when are we leaving?”
“not now,” he cuts a semi-menacing glare at you, “i’m not ready yet.”
you groan, making a face at him, “but babe!”
“no,” he affirms again, “not leaving now. you’re just gonna have to keep it in your pants for a little longer sweetheart.”
now you were frustrated, brows furrowed and eyes squinted at him. “seriously?”
“yeah,” he huffs back at you, “now stop teasing me.”
“or what? what are you gonna do about it?”
rafe looks at you like his next meal, “oh no, no, i’m not playing this game with you right now.”
“ugh, you’re no fun,” you roll your eyes.
you knew you were getting to him, but you also were fully aware that rafe would never let you be in control, especially not when you were acting like such a brat.
he leans down to give you a kiss, face hardening when you weave away from it at the last second, a mischievous grin plastered across your face. he takes a deep breath and tries again; this time grabbing your face as he does so. you wrench your chin from his grasp, dodging his kiss yet again.
“you being forreal right now?” he’s not hurt, that much is obvious, but you can see the mild anger building behind his gaze. “give me a kiss.”
“you can get a kiss when we leave,” you cross your arms childishly, turning your face away from him as you begin to walk away.
he grasps your bicep firmly, pulling you back and into his chest, “meet me in the bathroom.”
“nope, i’ll wait till we get home,” you raise a brow at him, almost as if you were challenging him.
“oh, baby, you won’t like it if you wait till we get home, it’ll be a hell of a lot worse.”
he grips your chin again, this time using his grasp to place a sweet kiss on your forehead before he leans down to the crook of your neck, his breath hot against your skin, lighting up each and every nerve in the area.
“meet me in the bathroom. now.”
you watch, wetness pooling in your panties as you watch him flash a grin over his shoulder while he makes his way up the stairs. you debate internally whether or not you should follow him, but you’ve dealt with rafe’s punishments before, and the last time was fairly recently, you weren’t sure if you could handle another severe one again just yet.
you quickly scurried up the stairs and down the hallway, eyes scanning back and forth until you find the bathroom.
you take a deep breath, ruffle your hair, and pull your hand from your mouth; a nervous tick you’d picked up as a child, constantly watching your dad mimic the same motion when he was nervous. you knew it was bad, that biting at your cuticles and nails was a big no-no at your age, especially being in a relationship with the king of the kooks. but you couldn’t help it, it was one of those seemingly unbreakable habits that was instilled in you at such an early age. and you figured there could be worse habits to have, so you didn’t do much to quit.
you let your knuckles rap against the hollow core door two sharp times, a signal to rafe to open the door, which he does almost immediately.
he beckons you in wordlessly, watching you squirm in place as you lean up against the bathroom counter. “hiya, rafey,” you huff out in a nervous laugh.
“hiya, baby,” he shoots a wolfish grin at you as he moves toward you, removing his rings and watch, setting the gold items inside of his hat atop the counter. “take your panties off and flip, angel.”
you follow the instructions, lip pinched between your teeth as you do so. you watch him in the mirror, his tight shirt making his muscles pop in the dim lighting. he looks down the neckline of your low-cut dress, his cock growing hard at the sight of your tits dangling against the soft fabric.
rafe drags his hands up the insides of your thighs as he uses his foot to spread them, a quiet gasp flying from your lips at the sudden movement.
“gotta stay quiet, baby, can you do that for me?”
you nod at him quickly, your pussy clenching and dripping just at the sound of his voice, much less everything else he was doing at the moment.
he flips the bottom of your dress up onto your back, leaving your mostly-bare ass out in the open for him to admire. rafe drags his hands across it slowly, fingers tracing the roundness of your cheeks. “you’re so pretty, sweetheart, every part of you is just fuckin’ gorgeous.”
you can’t help but blush at his words, dropping your head for a moment before picking it back up to watch him in the mirror.
“i hope you wore your good mascara tonight,” he laughs lowly, watching as you gulp at the implication.
rafe pulls your panties down and out from around your ankles, placing them along with his jewelry inside of his hat. he uses one hand to pull you a couple steps backward, your legs still spread as he angles you just how he wants you; pussy on full view for him to do whatever he wants.
he begins by slowly trailing his fingertips through your wetness, letting them glide through your folds and around your clit ever so lightly. the gentle sensation already has you breathing heavily, your hands clasped in front of you, gripping each other tightly.
rafe continues that motion for a few more moments before really focusing in on your clit, rubbing it in the way he knows you love the most. he builds up your climax, almost to the point of bursting, and then pulls away quickly, watching the realization flow over your face.
he was going to edge you to the point of tears, that was your punishment for acting like a brat all night, you finally understood, part of you kicking yourself with anticipated frustration while the other part of you felt nothing but excitement.
he flips you over, allowing you to sit atop the counter while he kneels between your open legs, your knees hooked over his shoulders. he starts by kissing long, slow kisses beginning at your knees and eventually trailing their way up to your sensitive area, his lips pressing up against everything except for where you want them the most. where you need them the most.
you were already horny before you even entered the bathroom, hence all the teasing and games you’d been playing all night, but now you were on a whole other level of horniness.
rafe waits until you're far past the point of squirming in your seat before giving your pussy a quick lick, letting his tongue swirl around your clit for a moment before pulling away, his eyes watching the look on your face fall back into a deep level of frustration.
“rafe,” you whine softly, brows furrowed desperately. “please, baby.”
“please, what? you get to tease me for over an hour and i don’t even get five minutes? that’s pathetic, baby.”
you groan at his words, knowing he’s nowhere near giving into your needs.
“you did this to yourself, just keep that in mind, angel.”
you huff softly, the sound caught in your throat when he latches back onto your sopping wet cunt, practically making out with it as you throw your head back in relief. he grips your thighs, letting the tips of his fingers dig into the flesh as he alternates between open mouthed kisses and intricate licks, waiting for the signs of an incoming climax.
you wonder if he’s going to let you cum, or if you can let one slip past him before he notices, but he knows your body better than you do, pulling away as soon as he knows you’re mere seconds away from hitting that point.
he repeats that process a few more times, bringing you to the brink of cumming four more times before standing between your legs, his lips coated in your juices as he grips the back of your hair, gripping it while he pulls you in for a kiss. “you taste yourself, baby? taste so fucking sweet, i just can’t get enough.” he’s almost breathless now, his eyes glossy with lust and his hair unkempt from your hands gripping and tugging on the golden strands.
he notices the tears that have welled up on your waterline, your chest heaving and your expression full of pure desperation.
rafe unzips and unbuttons his shorts, letting them fall around his ankles as he pulls you a little closer to the edge of the counter. he releases his cock from his boxers. he’s big, his dick full of veins and his tip leaking precum. he lets the tip glide through your folds gently, lets it swirl around your clit while he kisses you, his cock throbbing in his hand at the desperate sounds you breathe into his mouth.
your hips jolt forward when you feel his tip barely breach your hole, hoping that the movement would be enough to feel him inside of you, a whine falling from your lips when rafe pulls back, giving you a look. “you want me to keep going?”
a tear glides down your cheeks at his words, “no, no, please, rafey, i need it.”
“what? what do you need, baby?”
“i need you, i need you inside me,” you whimper, praying it's enough for him.
“what, like this?” he sticks two fingers inside of you, pumping them in and out quickly, curling them at the ends so his finger tips brush against your g-spot. your eyelids flutter at the feeling, a frown washing over your lips when he pulls them away. he sucks the juices off of his pointer finger before putting his other finger in your mouth. “speak up, sweetheart, tell me what you need.”
“i need to feel you, feel you fuck me,” you’re truly on the verge of real tears here, “please, rafe, please fuck me, i can’t take it anymore.”
he flashes that tell-tale grin at you, one hand gripping your hip roughly as the other guides his cock back into your hole, “whatever you want, baby.”
you gasp when he finally bottoms out inside of you, the tip of his dick brushing up against the deepest part inside of you. one hand grips the edge of the counter, the other one grasps the back of his neck as you pull him closer. the hand he used to guide himself into you moves to hold one of your legs up to his hip, the other gripping your ass tightly. he thrusts in and out harshly, breathing heavily as he feels you clench tightly around him.
“feels so fucking good inside this pussy, baby,” he groans softly into your ear, “this is my fucking pussy.”
“yea,” you moan quietly, “it's all yours baby, just for you.”
he continues thrusting, knowing that your climax will come crashing down at any moment after all the edging he put you through, and he can’t wait for it. he moves the hand that was gripping your ass to your clit, letting his fingers drag over the sensitive nub gently but quickly.
you grip the back of his neck even tighter, pulling him as close as possible. you can feel a scream building in the back of your throat at the upcoming climax, knowing that you can’t let it escape. so the only logical thing you can think of at that moment, your brain practically fried from the mixture of his endless edging from earlier and now amazingly good sex, is that the only way to keep quiet is to sink your teeth into his shoulder. he’s wearing a black shirt, so you know it won’t show, but even if it would you didn’t really have another backup plan.
rafe fucks you like a wild animal until you cum, his fingers still gliding over your clit as your body tenses, teeth digging into his shoulder. he throws his head back at the combination of your pussy practically swallowing him whole, clenching around him so tightly he’s sure his poor dick has suffocated inside of you, and the harsh feeling of your teeth. the cluster of feelings sends him spiralling into his own climax, hips stuttering as he fills you up, cum spurting deep into you.
the two of you rest for a moment, holding each other as you both breathe heavily. he plants a gentle kiss to your forehead before pulling out and grabbing a handful of toilet paper to wipe up the mixture of cum that begins leaking from your hole almost immediately. he gives you your panties back and pulls his own boxers and shorts back up, adjusting his appearance in the mirror next to you. “i love you, baby,” he whispers softly as he watches you go through similar motions, taking a different piece of toilet paper, wetting it as you wipe at your face, c;eaning up the places your mascara ran from the tears.
“i love you,” you smile at him, turning to plant a sweet kiss against his cheek, “that was fun.”
“yea, it was,” he laughs quietly, “you feel better now?”
“oh yea,” you nod, heart fluttering as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you in for a tight hug.
he holds you for a moment, hand rubbing your back softly before leaning back to look at you once more. “now, let’s get back to that party and get fucked up, what do you say?”
“i’m so down, babe,” you smile, fingers interlocked with his as he leads you out of the bathroom after checking to make sure the coast is clear in the hallway.
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felikatze · 8 months ago
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QoL as Kindness: ISAT's diagetic tutorials
This is the hopefully first of a series of posts I'll be doing reinterpreting ISAT's Loop through the lens of START AGAIN: a prologue's context. As such....
Major spoilers for both ISAT (all acts, including optional content) and SASASAP (all endings).
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One of the biggest differences between ISAT and SASASAP is it’s QoL – it’s Quality of Life. QoL refers to all the little things that make a game just that little bit more playable; quick to navigate menus, quicksaving… tutorials.
It’s not really a surprise that SASASAP is as RPGmaker as RPGmaker gets. This isn’t a criticism, just an observation, and also a compliment to how much Adrienne’s skills with the engine improved between releases. Still, there’s some things that ISAT has over SASASAP.
ISAT’s QoL is absolutely essential to making it bearable. Anyone ever watch an ISAT playthrough where the player sighed in relief as the tutorial on picking where you loop came up?
SASASAP lacks a lot of ISAT’s QoL because it’s an earlier project without a studio backing it, but what impresses me is how this change ties into narrative.
Because the greatest chunk of ISAT’s greatest QoL is provided by Loop.
Even before you ever meet them, they’re already over your shoulder. Loop is the tutorial, speaking to you inside your brain. It’s genius, in that no player is ever going to question this. Hell, SASASAP’s movement tutorial is the exact same thing with less flavoring
This reframes what the QoL is – it’s not just a convenience to the player, it’s a convenience to Siffrin, too. It’s diegetic. It’s not something the game is giving you, it’s something Loop is giving you. Let’s look at what Loop gives you, and more importantly, why.
Zone Out
The first of the QoL features I want to talk about is the Zone Out function, the absolute bread and butter of not making this game a total slog.
The Zone Out feature as is did not exist in SASASAP (because Adrienne didn’t know how to do it yet) – instead, some doubled scenes let you just skip them entirely outright. There’s only two extremes: listen to all of it again, or none of it.
ISAT’s zone out system is much more dynamic, since it fast forwards dialogue line by line, letting you zone in whenever you’d like, and forcing you to zone in whenever a) something notably new happens, or b) whenever Siffrin speaks.
The way this feature is introced by Loop is kind of genius. Because Loop’s tutorial is about one thing – it’s okay to skip.
“You might miss what your party is saying, but who cares, right? If you make them mad, you can always loop back and they'll have forgotten all about it!”
It’s a cruel joke, or at least it seems that way on the surface. It’s also genuine advice. And a cruel joke at the same time. For Siffrin, freshly starting the loops, this is scandalous, but for Loop, who’s long since desensitized, it’s the same old same old.
What Loop’s doing here, by joking about Siffrin not listening to the party, is alliviate Siffrin’s guilt when they inevitably take Loop up on the offer. Because, even though Loop loves their party members…
From SASASAP, when sitting outside the bathroom:
(Will you get farther this time?) (Will you live this time?) (Or are you stuck listening to the same lines forever?) (…) (Stars, you’re so tired.)
Loop knows intimately well that Siffrin is going to drive themself insane trying to be a people pleaser every single loop, so this joke is telling the outright – don’t bother.
At first, Siffrin (and the player) still might. I really enjoyed reading the same conversations five times minimum because they’re fun and I’m deranged, but at some point I did start skipping them. And it was a relief to know there wouldn’t be anything new.
Siffrin: “Should I check everything again?” Loop: “You mean, should you check the same barrels, the same closets, the same objects on tables every loop?” Loop: “I mean, you can, but… You know things won’t change, right?” Loop: “If you really want to get a certain item again, or listen to your friends repeat something funny, you should!” Loop: “I personally would only check two or three things every loop, and ignore the rest.” Loop: “It will just make you crazy to expect something to change, when nothing will.” Loop: “All that might change is your reaction to it!”
The game is telling you, Loop is telling Siffrin, don’t drive yourself insane playing, please. The characters aren’t going to remember if you skipped something.
In the course of my script wizard activities, I’ve gotten an in-depth view of just how much that actually holds up. Pretty much all major differences are by Act, unrelated of how often you’ve done something. Minor variations apply for other things, but… those variations are minor.
And this also points out what all those variations are. Siffrin’s reactions!
Loop’s pre-empting Siffrin’s guilt, cuz they probably felt it themself. Hell, we do know they felt the pressure to perform and make sure nobody notices anything’s wrong, in SASASAP! Right up until the finale, Loop was driving themself up the wall.
(You have to act, you can't crack, you have to fake it and play it exactly as you did the first time for the whole way through so your friends don't find out anything is wrong) (You don't want to know what would happen if they knew their quest was in vain) (If they knew their quest for justice and change always ends in stillness and death!)
Acting everything out perfectly is one of the ending paths for SASASAP, which results in… complete and utter failure. Obviously.
(You acted perfectly normally, didn't you?) (Nothing out of place, nothing weird, every line the same as it might've been the first time?) (Ah…That was your mistake, wasn't it…?) (Because… Didn't your very first time… end exactly like this?) (The King throws the Housemaiden's body onto the floor again.)
Zoning out for too many conversations actually awards weird points in SASASAP, locking you out of the Perfect Ending. On the other hand, acting “perfectly” in ISAT… has no awards whatsoever. No special scene or or optional event or anything at all. You get nothing for paying attention!!!
So spare yourself the pain already, m’kay?
(On that note: I don’t think Loop not being sarcastic about it would’ve like… worked. At the start of ACT 2, Siffrin isn’t going to believe Loop when they say “Stop forcing yourself to relive the same thing over and over because you’ll start seeing your friends as disposable actors and lose touch with reality.” That all comes later, when Siffrin can look back on Loop’s words and see how right they were.)
Loop Back
The second biggest sigh of relief in any given ISAT playthrough is probably this specific tutorial.
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Loop graciously shows you that you don’t need to loop back all the way to the beginning every single time. You can pick and choose where to go, even going forward by paying up with Memories of Skirmish.
This is a feature SASASAP does not possess, for the reason that it is much, much shorter, only covering about as much as one floor of ISAT’s three floor House.
But… since this is a character showing this to you, Loop showing this to you, we can ask… when did Loop learn this? After all, START AGAIN, Loop’s loops, do not have this feature.
“It'll save you time, so it's important, so listen up!”
This feature not existing in SASASAP means this is a thing that Loop did not know exists during their own time as Siffrin.
And that’s just the thing, isn’t it? SASASAP’s Siffrin does not know how to do this. They cannot pick and choose where they end up, as demonstrated wonderfully by SASASAP’s True Ending. There’s an even more wonderful implication, though –
On SASASAP’s Perfect End path, when exiting the final room before the King, Isabeau says this:
Isabeau: “…I'm glad you're feeling better, though!” Siffrin: (…?) “What do you mean…?” Isabeau: “Oh!!! Um, you were…” Isabeau: “Well! You were acting a little weird when we were way closer to the Castle's entrance……” Isabeau: “You weren't really listening to us, you were kinda smiling the way you do when you're actually not happy…” Isabeau: “…and you like, almost acted like you knew exactly where you were going?” Isabeau: “But clearly you're feeling better now! You're acting just like normal!!!”
SASASAP’s Siffrin knew how to do this, somehow managed to lock themself into the House’s last floor… and then forgot how to get back. By making this tutorial, Loop is ensuring that Siffrin never will.
“What can I do next?” – SASASAP’s greatest flaw
So, if you’ve had the pleasure of playing START AGAIN START AGAIN START AGAIN: a prologue yourself (as you should), then you’ve probably faced this scenario, or some variation of it:
I got to the end, I died to the King, but… what do I do next? The game tells me to go for the extremes, but how do I do that?
(edit: apparently some of yall just managed to speedrun sasasap in two loops. You're gonna need to stay with me here, please. Suspend your disbelief a bit, because a lot of people [including me] were dumbasses about it)
Maybe you try another loop, but just get the same ending again (or a differnet one, depending on a coinflip). You’re getting frustrated. Getting the Perfect Ending demands pinpoint precision to avoid everything weird, the True Ending demands good memorization of every single damn key in the game, and the order you do everything in. (Though, to be fair, the requirements on that one are actually more merciful than one might expect.)
Point is, in SASASAP, it’s incredibly easy to get stuck in that endless loop of “What the fuck do I do now?” It’s not uncommon to think you got it right only to get the same result anyways. What does one do in this situation?
They consult a guide, obviously.
START AGAIN’s ending requirements are frustrating. They are. When I tried to go for either the Perfect or the True Ending, I saved inside every single room, just so I could get right back to it when I inevitably fucked up five times minimum. This is both criticism… and praise. Because Loop is the major reason that ISAT does not suffer from this same problem.
Whenever you’re stuck in ISAT, Loop is just a single loop or call away at any times. And besides that, no plot requirement in ISAT demands nearly as many moving pieces all at once as SASASAP does – the “Sus Route” has been relegated to an optional ACT 4 exclusive event, instead of the game’s True Ending.
Instead of consulting an external guide on how to progress, you have one right there in the game, always ready with the next tip. They’re not infallible, mind you – enough time in Isatcord’s #game-help proves that, but Loop solved all of the moments I got stuck and frustrated in ISAT for me.
(Primarily that one time you need to figure out that a photo is similar to being stuck in time. That moment in particular is actually commendable, as you need to ask Loop about it twice before they tell you, leaving you a last shot to try and figure it out on your own.) Loop is a feature that nullifies SASASAP’s greatest flaw in its successor, and they choose to do so.
Memory of Keys
In my humble opinion, Loop does this because… they do not want Siffrin to suffer as they did. They want Siffrin to escape. And there is no greater example of their kindness than how Loop treats keys.
First of all, all keys in the game have a sparkling effect on them if you’ve picked them up at least once before, making it immediately clear where in the room they are. This means you don’t need to search every single room top to bottom for them, as you had to do for any keys and Star Crests in SASASAP. It’s some nice QoL that just means you don’t have to re-search the same area if you happened to forget which specific cupboard the key was in.
Key point being: SASASAP did not have this feature. In SASASAP, you did have to memorize where all the keys are, and doing so is expected if you want the True Ending.
Loop does not want Siffrin to have to do this. Because…
From SASASAP’s True End:
(The torch in the infirmary? That’s important!) (The key in the book? Soooo important.) (The names of your friends, that have been by your side throughout this entire adventure?) (Not worth remembering.)
Compared to ISAT’s ACT 2:
Siffrin: “How come I can see where the keys are?” Loop: “Whaaaaat? You caaaaaan? How can that beeeeeee?” Siffrin: “Is it thanks to you?” Loop: “Maybe.” Loop: “I figured you'd have other things to worry about than where a stupid key is.” Loop: “No need to thank me.”
To Loop, that they memorized the House’s layout over their friends’ names is a defining moment to their own failures. After all, in all likelihood, the True End of SASASAP is the last loop before they called it quits. It’s a traumatic experience from them, one that came from having to remember all the dumb fucking keys.
They do not want Siffrin to experience this. They do not want Siffrin to have to memorize the House, to push away what actually matters in favor of efficiency. So Loop is directly, personally, giving them a boon, so that Siffrin does not have to.
Conclusion
There’s probably more tutorial things I could talk about, but I feel like you’re seeing the pattern now, even if I don’t bring up saving level ups or keeping equipment or the “You’re stuck” signifier, least of all cuz they don’t have direct points of comparison with SASASAP like my other examples do (SASASAP has no changeable equipment, and saving levels doesn’t matter if you only have one floor, and you can’t softlock either.). So.
Loop’s tutorials all belie a fundamental kindness to their character. Everything that made their own experience trapped in the timeloop just that bit worse, they’re choosing to do away with it for Siffrin. They are choosing to make Siffrin’s time here easier.
Zoning out too much lead to them never paying attention to their friends, forgetting their names, so they make sure that Siffrin can still zone back in whenever something new happens.
Loop trapped themself for years on the final floor, locking themself out of progress that might lie further back, so they’re ensuring Siffrin knows exactly how to loop forwards and backwards so it doesn’t happen again.
Loop lets Siffrin keep equipment across loops to cut down on time spent doing the exact same thing over and over.
They are saving Siffrin time, and they are giving Siffrin comfort. At every single turn, Loop is saving Siffrin from the same pitfalls they fell into without anyone to guide them out.
It's honestly incredible to transform an increase in skill into an actual narrative element. Yes, SASASAP sucks more to play. But ISAT sucks less, because Loop wants it to. It's the perfect marriage of real world circumstance and storytelling. I could... probably pull another comparison here, saying it's like a game and its remake - overhauled graphics, expanded story, and loads and loads of QoL, because the makers of the remake realized something. They love the original, but parts of it do suck, and there's so much that can be done to make a new player's experience smoother. Metanarrative commentary,,,, woah,,,,,
Every single one of these QoL elements I’ve mentioned function as a crutch for a player’s failing memory, but also Siffrin’s (similar to what I talked about in my previous essay on ISAT’s ludonarrative - the player and Siffrin are always in sync, even in how tutorials benefit them). Loop doesn’t know the player exists though (only the Change God does), so they do everything for Siffrin.
To keep Siffrin from forgetting. To help Siffrin focus on what’s important. To make Siffrin’s journey just a little bit less miserable. Loop directly improves ISAT’s QoL. For you. For Siffrin.
From Loop’s introduction:
Loop: “See, I’m useful! I’m very useful! That’s why I’m here, helpful Loop.” Siffrin: “Why are you helping me?” Loop: “…” Loop: “Because I think you should be helped.” Loop: “I won’t always have the answers, but… I think having someone on your side to talk to is better than dealing with this alone.” Loop: “Right?”
From Loop’s hangout:
“But it’s fine.” “Whether you believe me or not, I’m here to help you.” “So you can escape this loop.”
And finally, from the start of ACT 3:
Siffrin: “Are you really here to help me?” Loop: “Stardust…” Loop: “…” Loop: “Yes.” Loop: “If you can believe anything, believe that.” Loop: “I asked to be here, so I could help you.”
And I do believe them. Loop’s feelings on Siffrin are… complex, to say the least. They love Siffrin, and they hate him in equal measure. They’re jealous, and spiteful, but underneath everything…
In SASASAP, if you die to a Sadness thrice, you get this monologue:
(Sometimes, when you loop back here…) (In the corner of your eye, you can sometimes see someone that looks just like you.) (Is it a you from another loop? Remnants of your past failures?) (Are you going crazy?) (May they succeed where you cannot.)
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sturnioz · 2 months ago
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messing around with bbf!matt while he's playing a game with your brother. based off this ask i got a while ago. (i changed it to a bbf!matt prompt cos im missing him)
you shouldn't be here. you should be at your friends house like you promised your brother you would be. but lying to him and sneaking into his best friend's house instead?
oh, you're definitely not the perfect sister you always prided yourself on being.
you're a liar, and the guilt does gnaw at you — a constant reminder of your betrayal, but you just can't stay away from matt, and the thought of anyone trying to pull you away from him would have you kicking and screaming if they dared try.
matt is like a drug to you, so unbelievably intoxicating and utterly addictive, and each moment spent with him only drowns out the voice of reason that tells you to stop.
even your friends have sat you down, telling you how wrong it is to get involved with your brothers best friend. they even reminded you how furious you'd be if your brother was doing the same with your friends.
and they're right — you would be mad.
but you guess you're just a big fucking hypocrite.
none of that matters right now, though. not when you're wrapped in matt's warm embrace, straddling his lap, your heart racing as your chest presses against his. he's focussed on the game, playing with your brother and their shared friends.
you're trying your best to stay silent as possible, to remain invisible to your brother and to not be heard over matt's headset — but the way he sounds; each grunt, each curse, each movement of his body sends a thrill through you, and you can feel the heat building up in your tummy.
it also doesn't help that you can feel his cock pulsating inside of you, nestled in the tight heat of your walls that fit snugly around him. cockwarming him was your idea, promising to be a good girl and just sit still after pleading him to give in.
"don't move, don't make a sound," he had told you after he muted his mic, helping you get settled in his lap. "and maybe i'll fuck you after this, alright?"
you're trying. you're trying so hard not to move and to not make a sound, but the slight promise of a fucking already has you dripping around him. you're so turned on and horny that you forget for a moment who he's playing with, and you whine into his ear and rock your hips slightly, feeling his cock graze against your gummy walls.
matt stills, and you fear you've been caught when you can hear your brother's voice through his headset — but you ease up when you hear him talk about the game, and you continue to subtly roll your hips, in desperate need for some friction.
you whine again when you clit rubs against him, and one of matt's hands leave his keyboard to grip your hip in warning, trying to stop your movements but you're relentless, moving more deliberately against him.
in a desperate attempt to make you stop, matt moves his own hips, thrusting up into you as he can't use his voice to tell you off — yet the sudden thrust, the feeling of his cock sliding in deeper sends a wave of pleasure through you, and instead of stifling your sounds, it makes you whine even louder, the desperate noise escaping before you can catch it.
"the fuck was that sound?" your brother's voice slices through the air, snapping you back to reality in an instant and your eyes widen in panic, and a rush of fear floods through your system once again.
"fingers crampin' up bad," matt lies swiftly, his tone casual but you can feel the tension radiating off him. you can also feel his jaw tighten against your cheek, the muscles clenching in response to the sudden pressure of the moment. "gonna head off. shits hurtin' me."
"dude, what?" is the last you hear from your brother before matt abruptly ends the call, the screen going dark and the game fading away into silence.
the abrupt quiet feels heavy, and a mix of adrenaline and anxiety courses through your veins as matt's grip on your hips tightens slightly, and you're worried you might've ruined things.
you go to open your mouth to apologise, but matt suddenly stands with you in his arms, carrying you over to his bed, never once dislodging himself from your slick folds and you gasp, clinging to his shoulders as you feel yourself slip.
he drops you down onto the bed, a hand wrapped loosely around your neck as he thrusts deep inside your warmth; the pace relentless as every stroke is followed by a deep grunt.
"you're that fuckin' needy, you wanna risk gettin' caught by your own brother?" matt's hips slam against yours, pounding into your cunt with fervour and you mewl, your body bouncing on the bed. "i told you, sweetheart. told you to not to move 'n to not make a sound... and you disobeyed me."
you writhe beneath him — choked whimpers leaving your lips as you claw at his arm, pressing his hand down on your neck as your legs wrap around his hips, trying to pull him in deeper.
"you're makin' this fuckin' hard to keep secret, sweetheart," matt grunts as you clench around his cock, his balls slapping against your puffy folds. "you want him to know what we do? huh?"
of course you don't, but you can't help but arch your back and cry out his name as mind-numbing pleasure crashes over you as his continues to drive into you, holding you down to the mattress.
you're cumming before you can even register it, your eyelids fluttering and body convulsing beneath him; your pussy contracting around his cock and he groans loudly, burying himself fully inside you and painting your inner walls white.
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© STURNIOZ
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heliosundercover · 8 months ago
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Special customer
Redhood
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Special customer Redhood who gains the title by beating up some shady guys attempting to break into your bakery and apartment above it, and after the job was done, you begged him to stay around until you got a new security system installed. But even with it installed, he seems to be in the area. One night, you offered him a coffee, and now every night on patrol, he comes for his coffee.
 
Special customer Redhood, got a pretty sweet drink, not something a vigilante would drink. It was a black coffee with 5 pumps of caramel and a dash of cinnamon sugar. Something about the unlikely order was cute in a way.
 
Special customer Redhood, doesn't know that you have an alarm set, so you can wake up late enough to catch him and give him his coffee. One day he catches you, though. You come downstairs to check to see if he was there yet, and he sees you in pajamas, your hair up so you can sleep comfortably, 
 "Wait, were you sleeping?" He looks you up and down. 
"Nice pajamas" 
Only then does he look up the hours of the bakery, seeing that it closes at 10 p.m., whereas he's coming in between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. That was when he first realized how considerate you were.
 
Special customer Redhood finally asks you about your day after two weeks of him coming in for a cup of coffee and a weirdly comfortable silence while he drinks and unwinds from his long patrol.
"How was your day... You look exhausted." He took a long pause, realizing he didn't know your name, but to his surprise, you laughed, and after that one small gesture, he knew he wanted to hear it again. 
You and him talked for a few hours until his headset pinged that there was something suspicious going on in the area he was supposed to be patrolling, but here he was flirting with a baker.
He never got your name.
 
 
Special customer Redhood, gets the same thing every time, so eventually you give his order a special name. His own secret menu item. special customer, Redhood, who asks
"Did you name this drink after me?" When you say 
"One red cup coming up." The name was Corny, and it slipped up before you could stop yourself, and now you cringed as you could hear the smirk in his heavily distorted voice. His question was immediately met with denial. 
 
Special customer Redhood enjoyed talking with you and learning about you. He also liked how you weren't pushy, not asking anything that could put his identity at risk. Here's a list of things he told you.
He liked classic literature.
He had never tried matcha before you made him try your new matcha white chocolate cookies. 
He loved animals and always wanted a big dog.
His favorite color was green, which was surprising considering his choice of name.
He never went to college. 
 
New customer Jason Todd, who made you raise an eyebrow when he ordered a "red cup," had a barely noticeable smirk like he was thinking of an inside joke.  Your eyebrow raised a bit more when a younger-looking guy asked
"Jason, why this bakery? It's not even a real coffee shop; they just happen to sell three types of coffee and a special lemonade. And its super put of the way."
His words were met with a flick to the back of his head by Jason.
"Because I like it here."
 
New-ish customer Jason, who came in mornings ordering the same thing every couple of days every so often, had a person or two with him. But while Jason wasn't consistent, but you like him any.
 
Special customer Redhood, who had been planning on asking you out as Jason for months. It was now winter, and the snow on the ground made him think of you. He knew winter was your favorite season, and it was the first snow of the season today. He knew it had to be today. 
 
Innocent bystanders Dick, Damian, and Tim watched their brother go mad over a baker. A mix of happiness and impending doom lingered amongst the group they had started taking bets on when he would finally ask her out a while ago. And so far, Alfred is the closest to winning. 
 
Regular customer Jason Todd, who had run into the bakery with flowers in hand right before closing, Slightly out of breath, he asked 
"Will you go out to dinner with me? Saturday night at 8 p.m.?"
"Sure." You smile happily, accepting his offer  and you watch as his eyes light up and he hands you the bouquet of flowers. 
 
Boyfriend Jason Todd, who is surprised when you, after a year of dating, reveal that you've been suspicious since day one, All because of a stupid drink with a corny name. 
 
Boyfriend Jason Todd, who can't help but tease you,.
 "So it was named after me?"
 
Boyfriend and soon-to-be fiancée Jason Todd, who proposes to you on the roof of your apartment and bakery the whole roof was decked out with a vine covered arch and fairy lights. 
"So, will you marry me?"
 
He gets on one knee, opening a gorgeous engagement ring with your favorite precious stone inside. It was your dream ring, and he was your dream guy, and of course you said yes.
 
Fiancée Jason Todd, who pulls you into a passionate kiss when he hears the words leave your lips, couldn't be more excited to spend the rest of his life with you.
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 10 months ago
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this is a lil part two for this lil request fic i wrote about katsuki takin' care of a drunk reader ! yall rlly seemed to like it n asked for a part two so, here it is !! hope yall enjoy !
no pronouns mentioned, just pure fluffy katsu, microscopic angst maybe kinda and if you squint HARD (reader gets a little bit upset), soft katsu but he's also an asshat but we love him anyways, mentions of food n eating, mentions of bein drunk, lemme know if i missed sum else !
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"ya told me you loved me yesterday."
it's all katsuki utters in the quiet of your apartment as he looks out the window.
you promptly choke on your toast.
you manage to cough down your bread. clearing your throat as you try to speak as naturally as possible. “oh yeah ?”
katsuki grunts in response, taking a sip of his orange juice and smacking his lips before speaking again. still looking at the window and away from you, it makes you nervous. “yeah, thanked me for always takin care of ya, r’something”
katsuki is trying his very hardest to speak casually and he’s praying to every god there is you can’t hear the slight quiver in his voice or see the slight shakiness of his hand when he brings the glass of juice to his lip.
“oh.” your heart beats so loud you can hear it in your ears. you try to salvage the situation and you force out an awkward laugh. “ i mean—i am thankful to you, y’know.”
“ya should be, nobody else could handle takin’ care of your ass.”
“hey !”
you think this is fine. you were drunk and stupid and you’re fine with him brushing off your accidental confession like this if it means it won’t make things awkward. if it means he’ll keep coming over to your house like he owns the place and cook for you because you apparently don’t know how to cook for yourself well enough for his liking. as long as you can keep hanging out with him and going out for drinks and having him take care of you. though, you might not drink as much next time you two go out.
after a minute or two he speaks again “did you mean it ?”
your hand is already reaching for his half bitten piece of toast when you freeze for the second time “did i mean what ?”
katsuki scoffs, smacking your hand away from his toast with two fingers, you let out a little whine “ i know you’re not dumb, so quit actin’ like you are.”
“but i don’t know what you mean !” you inwardly cringe at your dumb response.
“when you said you—“ katsuki cuts himself off with a quiet groan, grabbing his toast and splitting it in half, chucking one of the pieces onto your plate “whatever” he mutters to himself. your heart squeezes when you see the sad frown on his pretty face he doesn’t seem to realize he has.
you don’t know if you’ve still got alcohol in your system, you don’t know if you’ve fully slept it off yet, if you’re fearless or crazy or just plain stupid, but after taking a bite of the toast he’d given you you blurt out something you were sure you would’ve only had the courage to say if you were black out drunk.
“i did.”
katsuki turns to you the moment you finish your sentence, bright red eyes widened as he tries not to let his surprise show, he fails to though. “ you did what ?”
in the back of your mind you want to pout at him because you know he knows what you mean. you know he just wants to hear you say what he wants to hear and it makes you a little grumpy because it’s early in the morning and you don’t look your best at all right now. you’re too embarrassed to even look him in the eye yet his bore into you so hard it feels like a magnetic pull, like you’re being forced to look at him despite your best efforts not to. you want to be at least a little mad but you can’t blame him, you feel like you owe this to him in a way.
“ i did mean it..when i said..” you’re incapable of looking at him as you feel shame creep onto you, clinging onto you like a sweaty shirt, you manage to swallow down the piece of toast“ when i said that.” you trail off quietly.
no sound is made and no voice is heard for at least a minute, but you feel yourself wanting to cry more and more with each second that passes.
you get the courage to look up at him and instantaneously which you never had when you see a smirk on his annoying face.
“that ? that, what ?” he jeers with a grin bordering on evil, sharp teeth on display.
you throw your head back and groan “katsuki, oh my god !” leaning forward across your table you try to pull his nose after you hear him chuckling. he swiftly dodges you, grabbing your wrist and then your other one when you try to pull a fast one on him, unsuccessfully. you grumble as you sit back down and if you weren’t as enamored with him as you somehow ended up being you’d have knocked that stupid smirk off his face. everything seems to be against you, including your heart.
he hums once you’ve sat back down “ooh, you mean when you told me you loved me, right ? s’that what you meant ?” he snickers, shit eating grin on his face. asshole, he’s not even trying to look innocent.
“you’re not funny.” you huff, crossing your arms and glaring at him. “ like, at all.”
“you’re right, i’m not.” he responds, leaning his forearms against your table “ i’m hilarious, actually.”
a part of you wishes you could punch him. hard. another louder part of you just wants to kiss his smug expression off his face, both options sound extremely tempting but one of them more than the other.
“hilariously stupid.” not your best retort, but you’ll take it. katsuki huffs out a laugh as you pout and look off to the side, you’re so fucking cute.
his smirk doesn’t fade as he keeps staring at you but his eyes soften as he leans in to rip your arms away from your chest “ relax, m’just fuckin’ witcha.”
“yeah. haha. funny.” you spit. katsuki starts getting actually worried he’d hurt your feelings and quickly tries redeeming himself. he pokes at your cheek once, twice and you swat his hand away when he goes for a third poke. then he leans forward so he can tickle your side and inwardly sighs in relief when you swat at his hand trying to hold back your laughter. the way he’s leaning against the table is a bit uncomfortable for him but as long as he keeps that warmth on your face he couldn’t care less.
he gets up and grabs his chair, dragging it against the floor causing it to squeak and making you cringe, you let out a noise of displeasure but katsuki doesn't look the least bit phased as he bring his chair to sit next to you.
his cheeks are red, you realize it now that he's sitting so much closer to you. he speaks after a moment of silence "so you meant it, yeah ? when you told me you.." he trails off at the end of his sentence. he's quieter than you're used to. there's a certain hopeful urgency in his eyes that has you shyly nodding your head in response.
he’s looking at you and you’re looking right back
“i meant it.” you whisper.
“i know.” he whispers back after a beat, before pressing his lips to yours.
the kiss lasts about 10 seconds before he pulls away, then leans in again for another, slightly longer one. when you separate your breathing a little heavy. you place your hand on his face and rub his cheek, admiring the way his eyelashes flutter slightly and how the feeling causes shivers to run up his spine. you can't help the goofy smile that pulls at your face and neither can he, you both chuckle slightly.
then you take a breath as if contemplating if what you were about to say was worth it. but katsuki knows you don't care and he's right because you say it anyway.
"we should go out for drinks to celebrate !" you giggle. he playfully rolls his eyes, pinching your side making you let out a squeal.
even though you call it a celebration katsuki knows it'll be the same charade as usual. you'll drink until you pass out and he'll bring you home. he'll help you clean up and take you to bed and have breakfast made for your hungover ass in the morning. but this time, you'll be his. and to katsuki, that's worth so much more than the headache he knows you'll give him.
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mrnightingale · 29 days ago
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George doesn't know what the hell do with his face when he's not talking on the Cameos and I think it's pretty cute and funny because it's in those moments when I remember that, unlike Jayden who has more experience with the industry, Edwin is George's fucking first role.
And now I'm mad at Netflix again for taking such an amazing performance and role from him. He was absolutely brilliant impersonating Edwin and they took his work out of his hands. He'd spent a lot of time and effort studying his character, crafting his appearance, he did fucking ballet only to give Edwin his characteristic, elegant manners and way of habit the space. The level of comitement it's amazing. And he did it so well. So. Fucking. Well. That most of us didn't even thought for a bloody second the possibility of this being his first role. I'm still shocked. I still can't believe something like this happening.
Hate them so fucking much. I want to cry. They're destroying Art. The Corporations are destroying Art. They're taking all the work of people who love what they do and sacrifice a lot for doing it, because it's not easy working in the industry, and then spitting in their faces and throwing and kicking and I want to scream. This people aren't numbers. This people effort can't be valuated in viewership and monetary numbers.
I don't want to work for a world like this. I don't want to be an artist if that's what they'll gonna do with me. And yet, it's the only thing I ever wanted, like all of them. All those people are working in something they love, they're working so hard in making something important, something beautiful, and they're doing it. They're doing Art. They're doing things right. And still this fucking system kicks off their arses. Like they did with George and all the crew, all the people behind the show.
They don't deserve this. WE don't deserve this. We as a fandom don't deserve them taking away this show from our hands. They don't care a shit about Art. They don't care a shit about how this impacts in our hopes, in what Art can do in people's lives.
I HATE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH. I want to cry. I want to cry and scream and disappear because I don't want to live in a world like this. It's rotten. It's wicked. How can everything change so much in a few years?
It's disgusting. Capitalism is disgusting. I want to throw up. People aren't fucking numbers.
Let's keep fighting.
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star-sim · 7 months ago
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espresso ☆ sunoo kim
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☆ super mega down bad!sunoo x fem! reader ☆ summary: that one time sunoo had a not-so innocent dream about you, and suddenly you're the only thing that consumed all of his senses. the problem? you're the most popular girl at the academy, and he's just a nerd. driven mad by his feelings for you, it felt like his chances with you were next to zero. it's actually much higher than he thought! ☆ genre: dark academia! au, classic popular girl x nerd, a looooot of romantic and sexual frustration LOL, a bit of nerdy lingo , loser and desperate sunoo!! ☆ warning(s)? slightly suggestive, but mostly just pure silliness and fluff :3 ☆ word count: 9.5k ☆ happy belated birthday to sunoo! the sunoo fic disparity is criminal. this is for you @ashtxrie. inspired "espresso" by sabrina carpenter. i hope i did mintchoco king justice. enjoy!
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Ugh.
Popular kids.
Sunoo narrowed his eyes, clutching his textbooks even closer to his chest as he walked past the hoard of snobby rich kids. Their expensive pearl necklaces and diamond rings gleamed under the warm hallway lights, but no golden jewelry would take away how downright obnoxious they were.
"How could anyone be so loud right now?" Sunoo grumbled under his breath, pushing up his thin golden-framed glasses. Seriously though, he had a point. There was no reason for anyone at all to be screaming at the top of their lungs at 10 in the morning. But alas, here he was, rolling his eyes at the stuck-up rich kids.
The Academy had a pretty simple admissions system. Either you pay to get in, or you apply and get evaluated based on your application. Most of the students at the Academy were from wealthy families, so they obviously paid to be admitted. Sunoo, on the other hand, had more humbler origins. 
To say that he worked his utmost ass off to even be able to apply was an understatement. It was almost patronizing to see all of these kids born with a silver spoon in their mouth act so carelessly.
They all acted so condescendingly, as if they didn't get admitted because of their father's paycheck.
"What's got your panties in a twist?" A new voice interrupted Sunoo's thoughts. It was his younger friend Riki, who threw an arm around his shoulder. 
"Nothing," Sunoo murmured, tearing his eyes away from the group of popular kids. 
All of them were the same. All arrogant, all pompous, all vain, all—
"Are you sure?" his other friend, Jungwon, joined. "You look a little bit—err— disturbed."
"I'm not."
Riki and Jungwon shared a look.
Okay, maybe not all rich kids were the same. 
Because there were a few exceptions, such as—
"Are you still mad about that one time that snobby little Sanghyeok threw a ball at you?" Riki asked, blinking owlishly.
"No, what are you—"
"He's a rugby player, isn't he?" Jungwon thought aloud. "Geez, all the rugby players love tossing that goddamn football around, don't they?"
"Erm, actually, it's called a rugby ball," Riki corrected in a nasally voice.
"Whatever. It doesn't matter. Why would anyone throw those around? It's like a ball of concrete!"
Sunoo tuned his younger friends' bickering out. He'll admit it, he's just a little bit of a hater. 
Among the snobby rich kids, there's definitely a few exceptions. Jay Park was a pretty cool guy, and so was Jake Sim. Sunoo could've sworn that there's one more person that he didn't mind too much... He just couldn't remember who....
"Watch out!"
It happened so quickly, because one moment Sunoo was lost in thought. And the next, a rugby ball was hurling at him, pummeling him square in the head.
Not again, was the last thing he thought of before he fell to the ground, blacking out.
"Aw man, you hit the nerd again?!"
"Hey, I didn't mean to— Ack!"
Sunoo stirred. It was weird. He could feel himself gain consciousness, but his head and body were pounding. Excruciatingly.
He could hear a little bit of arguing and a few masculine voices, all muffled yet somehow also painful to his ears.
"Quiet down," a new voice entered. It was a voice that Sunoo recognized, a voice that was much kinder and softer on his ears, almost healing. "If you keep yelling, you'll overwhelm him."
Whose voice was this? Sunoo knows that he knows this voice, but he couldn't quite put his finger on who.
Then, Sunoo felt a few gentle fingers run through his hair, and then a cold, ice compress pressed on his forehead.
"Just leave," the voice told the others. "Get to class. I'll take care of him."
There's some murmuring, and then some shuffling, and finally, the door slammed shut.
And the moment that it did, Sunoo's eyes shot open.
The first thing that he's met with as full consciousness pervades his body is a sharp pain everywhere, much more amplified and extreme this time.
The second thing that Sunoo sees is... you.
Of course, that makes sense now. You were the voice, and you were the person he was thinking about earlier. You were one of the exceptions to his "all rich kids are annoying" gag.
Of course you were.
Everyone knew you, and everyone loved you. Who wouldn't?
You were incredibly sweet, had a knack for calling everyone with affectionate nicknames, and every reason why Sunoo couldn't bring himself to hate everyone in the popular crowd. He's had a few classes with you in the past few years. You weren't the top student or academically driven by any means, but he could sense your effort. 
Not to mention, you were really pretty. It was no secret that every single guy in school wanted a chance with you. Sunoo wasn't like that, but he wasn't going to sit there and deny that your face was nice to look at. Truthfully, it was difficult to not like you, one way or another.
In total, Sunoo's spoken to you a total of probably four times. Nevertheless, you were a lot more than just tolerable, compared to the rest of your peers.
Now Sunoo was in the infirmary, after that rugby ball smacked him right in the head and knocked him out. He was lying down on the gurney, a cold compress to his head. And you were taking care of him.
"You're up, sweetheart," you said softly, jumping to your feet once you realized that Sunoo was awake. You handed him his glasses that were folded neatly on the table, and then you went to the shelves. Sunoo attempted to raise himself up to sit, but almost immediately he was met with that horrible, aching pain again.
"Aghh!" he groaned, dropping himself instantly and clutching onto the ice pack on his head. 
You hissed, scurrying over to his side. 
"Don't move," you instructed him. Sunoo got a good look at your face now. Pretty, as always, but you had a pinched expression. You looked frustrated, and as you unfurled the bundle of bandages that you fetched from the shelf, your eyes traveled to him and almost looked apologetic. "Let's get you fixed up, sweetie."
Very gently, almost as if you were dealing with glass, you lifted Sunoo's head just enough so that you could wrap bandages around his forehead.
"Is that okay?" you asked him quietly, your nimble fingers brushing against his skin gently. 
"Mmm—" Sunoo was cut off by a guttural sound in his throat— "Mhm."
You pushed his dark locks out of the way, humming.
While you worked on him, Sunoo couldn't help but notice how.... concerned you looked. As a matter of fact, where were the rest of your friends? Where was that bastard Sanghyeok that threw the damn rugby ball at him in the first place? 
It wasn't like you were a student nurse or anything. Aside from just being a nice person, what reason did you have to go out of your way to fix Sunoo up? It wasn't like you were the one that threw the ball.
You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, your brows furrowing together. Something was on your mind. 
"I'm sorry," you finally blurted, your eyes wide and nearly glassy.
???
"Wha—"
"I'm sorry that Sanghyeok threw that ball at you," you continued, words spilling from your glossy lips like a waterfall, your eyes trained onto the floor and your head hung low. As words tumbled out, you stopped your ministrations on him, your hands taking solace on the hem of your uniform skirt. "I-It was very wrong of him, and it's even worse that you're now injured, and—"
"Why are you apologizing?" Sunoo interrupted you, though with labored breaths between his words, as he didn't want to hurt himself.
You frowned even harder, your fingers wringing each other. "B-But—"
Sunoo's face scrunched. "You didn't throw the ball at me. Sanghyeok did, so there's no reason for you to say sorry to me."
You shook your head. 
"Still!" you huffed, your cheeks filling with air as you tapped your foot. You let out an exasperated breath. It smelled of coffee. "I know that it's not my fault, but— but that doesn't make what happened right."
Sunoo opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off, beginning your ministrations once again. "I'm just doing what's right."
By the end of the school day, Sunoo got out of the nurse's office, just slightly stumbling. His head still hurt, but thanks to you, who missed a few classes, it hurt a lot less than it should have. Once again, you proved that you weren't as bad as the rest. 
If it was any other day, Sunoo would go to the library to fit in a few hours of studying, but after today's events, he just wanted to go back to his dorm.
It's been a long, stressful, and painful day. 
The moment that Sunoo's dorm door shut, he made a bee-line for his bed, completely ignoring his roommate Sunghoon. He threw off his uniform shirt and tie, peeling them off like they were some nuisance. 
And just like that, the second that Sunoo's head hit the pillow, he knocked out.
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Sunoo opened his eyes and he was in a bed. Not his own bed, but a softer, much more comfortable bed. 
He felt a warm—really warm— almost fuzzy, feeling in his chest. Sunoo's hands feel around the bed. The sheets are smooth and clean, and under his fingertips they wrinkle ever-so slightly. Now that he was looking around, it seemed to be early morning, with rays of sunlight peeking through the windows. In fact, this dorm room wasn't his. It smelled of espresso coffee, and was so pristine and neat.
Sunoo didn't notice it now, but all the pain he was supposed to be feeling disappeared. And just as he was about to get up to his feet to inspect, someone appeared at the doorway.
You.
"You're up, sleepyhead?" you said, leaning on the doorway as a sly smile spread across your face. 
Why was he in your room? 
And more importantly, why were you in only a bathrobe? 
Sunoo looked down, and that's when he realized that he, too, was shirtless.
Instead of responding how he'd want to— confused out of his mind— words tumbled out of his lips, almost like he had no control over them. "I was waiting for you."
You giggled, pretty sounds falling from your pretty lips. You slowly sauntered over to the foot of your bed, your gentle hands coming down to brush against Sunoo's leg.
"You look so handsome, sweetheart," you rasped. The warmth and fuzziness that he felt earlier began to spread from his chest to his entire body.
And the next thing that Sunoo knew, you were on top of him. Your lips pressed wet kisses all over his bare chest. Sticky gloss clung to his flushed skin, leaving pretty lipstick marks across his skin. 
"God, I want you so bad," you groaned, before taking his skin between your teeth. You sucked on it gently, earning a gasp from the boy. You giggled into his ear.
By now, Sunoo was burning up completely. Each graze of your lips was like a scorching hot iron piercing his skin, but it burned so good. If it weren't for his fingers that dug into the crisp bed sheets, or the way that you gripped his chin, Sunoo would have fainted already. Each gasp for air as you marked his soft skin was ripped from his throat, hot lines of electricity running through his veins. 
"Please..." Sunoo pleaded through a strangled whimper, letting out a soft moan when you bit onto his ear, your warm breath brushing up against his skin in a way that made him shudder. "Please, [Name]."
Everything before had a haze over it, a blurry screentone cast over Sunoo's eyes.
But as you looked up at him through your pretty eyelashes, lips swollen from abusing his skin, Sunoo swore that he could see everything so clearly. Every line on your face, every shadow and every highlight, every blemish and every perfection— he could see all of it.
"Please, what?" you murmured, your lips spreading into a grin. "What are you begging for, sweetheart?"
And it drove him crazy.
Sunoo threw his head back, an airy moan tumbling from his lips, giving you better access to his neck. 
"I need you," he whined, his chest heaving up and down as he failed to catch his breath. "Please, I need you so bad."
You giggled again, pressing a hand against his chest.
"Anything you want you get—"
Beep beep! That was an eerily familiar alarm sound, one that was familiar enough to make Sunoo's head whip around.
You looked unfazed, only giggling again before leaning in to press soft kisses on his chest. 
Beep beep!
There it was again! This time, Sunoo's body jerked at the sound, his face scrunching. Why weren't you reacting?
"Focus on me, sweetie," you whispered in his ear. 
Sunoo complied (because of course he did), closing his eyes as you pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. And just as he was beginning to forget that godforsaken sound, sinking into the sweet taste of your lips...
Beep beep!
Sunoo couldn't help the way that he jerked away from you.
And as he did, Sunoo jerked awake.
His eyes shot open.
Dark room, completely drenched in sweat, burning up, and unfortunately alone.
"I swear, you always look like someone pissed you off."
"Right? He always looks so... constipated?"
On most days, Sunoo could endure his friends' teasing. Not this morning though.
He woke up from that dream completely disoriented. With his hair disheveled and face flushed, Sunoo arose from his slumber with beads of sweat running down his temple. It took him four more rings of his alarm clock and his roommate yelling at him to truly regain his consciousness— for while he was physically awake, he wasn't truly awake. Not after a dream like that.
Sunoo told everyone so far that he woke up with a fever, which was true. His cheeks were bright red, and his skin was hot to the touch, as he was bundled up in a few layers of coats. 
Truthfully, his physical condition wasn't what was causing him to be so disoriented.
It was you.
What the fuck was that dream? 
Usually, Sunoo couldn't remember his dreams, even if they were fever dreams. But now sitting in the dining hall, nibbling on his breakfast, Sunoo could remember every little thing so clearly in his mind. 
He could remember how your room looked, how your bathrobe made your skin look so beautiful, how your plump lips felt against his chest, how fucking gorgeous you look—
Clank!
Sunoo dropped his fork onto the table, the metal cutlery clanking with the porcelain plates around him.
"What's up with him?" Jungwon not-so-quietly whispered to Riki. The two watched, perplexed, as Sunoo's cheeks turned even more red, the older boy's tired eyes squeezing shut as he hid his face in his palms. 
Sunoo groaned, looking through his palms to look at his friends' confused expressions.
He felt hot. Maybe it was the fever. 
He looked down at his palms, the reddy patches sticky with a thin sheen of sweat. 
Definitely not just the fever.
He couldn't get your voice out of his head.
It was well-known that you liked to call everyone a nickname of sorts. It seemed like his nickname was "sweetheart."
Sunoo knew it was innocent, especially when you were fixing him up yesterday. But now with a new context—the context of his not-so innocent dream where you rasped "sweetheart" into his ear— he couldn't help but feel shy.
Sunoo's chest heaved. His tweed coat felt too thick now. His fingertips were held together by threads, and if he wasn't careful, he'd burst with blazing plasma. 
Tuning out his friends, Sunoo couldn't stop his mind from drifting back to last night's dream. 
He'd absolutely combust if he saw you again. Sunoo had no idea how he'd even look you in the eye, after doing unthinkable things with you in his dream.
God, there was no way that he'd ever let anyone, let alone you, find out about this. He felt like some pervert, some sick creep using you to fuel his nasty fantasies. He was not, but he sure felt like it.
Sunoo didn't dare look anywhere except down at his plate. If he did, he feared that he would catch sight of you, and completely die. As a matter of fact, even hearing the names of your friends in passing made his stomach do flips. 
The school bell rang, and now Sunoo had to drag himself to class. Murmuring a small good-bye to his friends, his heavy footsteps took him where his first period morning class would be.
Gosh, he fell asleep almost immediately last night! Quick, was there homework that he was supposed to complete? His morning class started with his elective, botany. 
Botany, botany, botany, he repeated in his head, jotting his memory. There weren't any notes due until the end of the week, and the closest test from today is two weeks. So why did he feel like he was missing something? Was there a presentation that he didn't remember? Maybe they were having a lab today and he forgot to bring his gloves. Or maybe—
Sunoo stopped in his tracks.
Just as he was cooling down, he felt his skin erupt with goosebumps, warmth overtaking his entire body.
If it weren't for his acute awareness of his surroundings, Sunoo would have tripped over his feet.
Because you decided to appear.
Oh fuck, why were you right there? Standing across the hall from him, all prettied up and completely oblivious to the hell that you were putting Sunoo through.
Had you always looked so pretty? 
Of course, Sunoo recalled how perfect your face looked at all times, how jaw-dropping you managed to look even when you didn't try. The way that the light reflected off your skin made you look like you were glowing. Like a halo.
Sunoo's face burned. You definitely looked prettier in real life than in his dream. Not even the intricate workings of his brain could capture your beauty.
A strangled noise escaped Sunoo's throat, his face turning as white as a ghost, eyes big as saucers. 
No, no, no! Sunoo squeezed his eyes shut. Of course. He had morning Botany with you! How could he forget!
"Move, you nerd!" someone grumbled as they shoved past him. Usually, on any other day, Sunoo would cuss back at them, maybe shove past them even harder. But all he could do now was stand back dazed.
He forced himself to pick up his feet again. After all, class was starting, and the bell would ring in a matter of minutes. 
What was harder than pulling himself out of his daze was walking into that Botany lecture hall. Sunoo didn't dare look anywhere that wasn't his shoes, in fear that if he even caught a glimpse of you, he'd evaporate.
With quick, hasty steps, Sunoo scurried along the sides of the hall, ignoring the little hi's and good morning's from his classmates. 
And just as he thought he successfully made it to his seat...
"Good morning, Kim!"
To say that Sunoo nearly jumped out of his skin would be an understatement. 
As you appeared before his seat, seemingly out of thin air, Sunoo felt every inch of his body flare up with warmth. 
You looked even better up-close.
"Oh— Uh—" Sunoo couldn't help the way he stared at you with wide eyes, his lips agape. 
"Good— Um, Good morning, [N-Name]," was all he could manage out.
You stared at him for a few moments, blinking a few times, before a wide smile broke out on your lips. 
You reached out, your hand resting gently on the crown of his head, completely oblivious to the way that the boy tensed under your touch. "How does your head feel, sweetheart?"
Sunoo completely forgot that he'd sustained a head injury earlier. How could he remember when something (or someone) else was making his head hurt?
"I-It's good!" he stammered quickly, words tripping over themselves. "I'm good!"
You cocked your head, your brows furrowing. 
"No one picked on you, right?" you looked around, leaning closer to him— close enough that he could feel your breath on his neck. "Did any of my friends try bothering you again?"
Sunoo flushed at the proximity. This was feeling a little too familiar.
"No!" Sunoo nearly shouted. When everyone turned to look at him weirdly, the room falling silent for a mere second, he muttered a quick sorry. "I mean— No, n-no one bothered me again."
You nodded slowly, before you brought your hand to his forehead. "You're feeling a little warm, sweetie. You aren't sick, aren't you?"
If he had less self-awareness, Sunoo would have run around that lecture hall a few times, dunked his face in a bucket of iced water, and maybe even screamed a few times before answering your question. But he couldn't, so all he could do was shake his head no.
"Good," you said with a smile. "I'll see you around."
With that, you turned on your heel, and went back to your seat. 
Class started, but Sunoo couldn't quite focus.
Sunoo felt like this had to be some joke. It felt like Jungwon or Riki were about to come out behind the curtains and scream "Gotcha!" in his face.
Because why on earth were you and him on the same path to the boys' dormitory?
After his daily study session in the library, Sunoo figured that the chances of him running into you again would be low.
But lo and behold, as Sunoo was on his way back to his dorm, you materialized from thin air and started walking with him. In silence, of course, but you greeted him with a smile.
Even after 10 hours of being out and about, you still managed to look so perfect.
In all the years that he'd attended this Academy, Sunoo's never seen you take this route, let alone go to the boys' dormitory.
Did you have a boyfriend? Or a special relationship with a boy? Sunoo's stomach dropped. What if he's been thinking about you all this time when you were taken already?
Sunoo opened his mouth to talk, but you beat him to it.
"Sooo, Sunoo," you said in a dreamy, sing-songy voice. "How's your day been?"
Torture, because of you. "I-It's been okay."
You hummed. "That's good to hear."
.
.
.
Silence.
It wasn't like he was in love with you. But for some reason, it bothered Sunoo that you could be heading to the boys' dorm for a possible boyfriend. He just needed to know.
"Where are you— Where are you headed?" Sunoo winced at his question. You probably thought he was weird now. He felt hot all over.
You smiled, clicking your tongue with a playful eye roll. "Just to my cousin's dorm. He just transferred here so my parents want me to help him move in."
Sunoo blinked.
Oh.
"Th-That's nice," Sunoo quipped. "I'm just going back to my— uh— dorm."
Of course he'd be going back to his own dorm! Sunoo chided in his head. You definitely thought he was an idiot by now.
The trip up the stairs and down the hall was quiet, awfully silent— only the distant sound of students and footsteps filling the air.
Eventually, the two of you met a stop.
"I should be turning at this corner now; his room is just down that hall," you said to him, earning a nod. "Thanks for walking with me, Sunoo."
"Of course," Sunoo said back shyly, a small smile on his lips. " 'It's my pleasure."
"No seriously," you continued, a bashful smile on your lips. "The halls during this time of year are a little sketchy. Sometimes, I can't even trust my own guy friends to walk me."
Sunoo cocked his head.
"The point is," you said, your eyes unwavering as they met with Sunoo's eyes, "You make me feel safe."
Before Sunoo could respond, you shot him a kind smile, before turning on your heel. "Good night, sweetheart!"
Sunoo was rendered speechless, staring at your retreating back.
"Good night," he muttered under his breath, not audible even to himself. "Sweetheart."
(He definitely thought about this interaction later into the night, and burned up severely.)
Although no one would guess it, the next few weeks were hell for Sunoo. It was almost terrifying.
How did you manage to show up everywhere?
Truly, it felt like everywhere Sunoo went, you just happened to show up. 
It started with little things. In the middle of class you would come in to give back a sweater you borrowed from your friend. Sometimes you would come in and sit at the back of class to make up a test that you missed, or to ask the professor any question you had about the upcoming assignment. Each time, you'd wave at Sunoo, sometimes even before you waved at your friends.
All normal, of course. Every time he'd see you, he'd immediately straighten his back to make sure his posture was perfect— maybe even brush his hair out of his eyes and adjust his glasses, all in the hopes that if you looked at him, he wouldn't be a pain to view.
All as if he wasn't screaming on the inside. There was just something about how you always had that dreamy look in your eye, like a princess. How could he possibly look you in the eye? 
Sunoo wanted to look perfect and pristine for you, but at the same time, he wanted to disappear under your gaze. Sometimes, he wanted to disappear because he simply couldn't handle the power that your eyes had. Other times he wanted to disappear so that he could look at you— observe every line, perfection, and imperfection of your face— without the existence of others around him.
No matter the time, one thing was common: Sunoo always turned four shades redder whenever you walked into the room. And it was frustrating.
"Why are you red?"
"You look embarrassed. Did you fart or something?"
"Tomato boy."
It was embarrassing, especially because his seatmates always ended up being the biggest assholes anyway.
Then, you began waving to him in the hallway. It started with small waves, sometimes with you mouthing hi or hello. But then you'd sometimes run up to him with a wide smile just to say hi.
Maybe you were just really nice, Sunoo thought, though he'd be lying if he said that he didn't wish you were giving him special treatment. In fact, it made him feel sick just thinking about how you called your friends cute pet names like darling, too. He almost had to excuse himself to the washroom when thinking about you calling other people sweetheart. You were bound to, of course, but that didn't mean that Sunoo particularly liked that idea.
All of these were small little things, pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, especially considering that you were the most popular girl in school.
But then it started getting bad.
And it wasn't your fault.
Why— just why— did you have to be in every single one of his dreams?
The first dream he had about you was already enough. Why did he need a bajillion more?
The dreams ranged from extremely mundane to scary to a bit... raunchy. And yet, you still managed to be in every single one of them.
In the mundane ones, you'd be the person that mutters a remark to him before disappearing. 
In the scary ones, you'd be the person that Sun threw over his shoulder as he ran away from the undead. 
In the raunchy ones, you'd be under him, your arms thrown around his neck as he lays wet kisses on your skin, basking in the pretty sounds that you make— Too much!
He couldn't help it. He really couldn't.
There were times where Sunoo was afraid to go to sleep. Not because seeing you was a bad thing, but because the aftermath was always bad.
Sunoo always woke up sweaty and burning up. He'd trudge to the shared bathroom and splash water on his face. No matter how cold the water was, whenever he closed his eyes all he could see was your face. Your pretty, pretty, face. You seemed to get prettier with every dream, yet dream-you couldn't ever compare to real life-you.
Seeing your face wasn't the problem. He loved to see it. The problem was that every time he saw your face Sunoo would get all clammy and mushy and warm on the inside. His cheeks would burn, and he'd feel warm all over. 
And the hardest part was that every single time, all he could hear was your voice calling him "sweetheart" — over and over, in a hypnotizing cadence that only made him want to fall into your essence even more.
It was weird.
So, so, weird.
And Sunoo thought that he was going to die.
It seemed like Sunoo was always in for a surprise.
By the end of the month, Sunoo managed to convince himself to forget about his dreams completely. 
After all, after a few days of doing his best to avoid you, he was able to assure himself that all of these feelings would disappear with time, since his attraction to you was random anyway.
Sure, you're pretty, Sunoo told himself. And very kind and sweet, but it wasn't like you and him were best buds. So whatever delusion that was going on in his head was bound to go nowhere. He was just being a teenager, probably.
He'd never felt this way towards anyone before. It was best to just ignore it.
Sunoo clenched his fists. Yeah, he'd do his damn best to ignore it.
But as he was in line in the Academy's library, preparing to check out a new book about whatever topic he wanted to read up on, Sunoo felt a pair of hands clutch his shoulders.
"Hi, Sunoo!"
Sunoo whipped his head around and jolted, a small "Ah!" leaving his lips. Startled, he nearly dropped his massive hunk of a book, earning a glare from the snobby student-librarians. 
It was you.
The moment that he laid eyes on you and your silly little grin, Sunoo's resolve weakened. Like walls of a fortified castle crumbling under the force of a cannon, if Sunoo didn't look away now he'd be absolutely beat. 
"H— Hey there, [Name]," he said quietly, tearing his eyes away from you and turning back to the front, holding his book close to his chest.
"Whatcha got there?" you asked him curiously. He could still feel your hands on his shoulders squeezing him playfully.
Sunoo looked down at his book.
Thematic Cartography and Geovisualization?
Oh god, you were definitely going to think he was a nerd.
"Nothing..." he murmured, clutching the book even closer to him.
You shook him by his shoulders playfully, a little chuckle coming from your lips. "Oh, c'mon! I know that massive book isn't just 'nothing.' What're you reading?"
"It's..." Sunoo winced. "It's embarrassing."
You pouted, a little hmph! coming from you.
"Next!" the librarian called, and Sunoo moved forward in the line to check out his book, though he was distracted by the way that you still continued to cling to him.
"You didn't— You didn't get a book?" Sunoo asked as you followed him to a library table, your hands empty.
"Nope," you said smoothly. "I'm just here to study!"
"Oh." Sunoo blinked, pushing up his glasses. It was quiet and he didn't know what to say. "What are you studying?"
"I'll tell you," you smiled, "Only if you tell me what your book is about."
He sighed. Sunoo sat down, and naturally, you followed suit, sitting across from him. He plopped his massive book down onto the table, and slowly slid it over to you.
Your brows furrowed together as you read its title.
Sunoo's cheeks burned. You definitely think he's some nerd. How embarrassing.
You finally looked up at him. Only, instead of looking at him with condescension or ridicule, you looked embarrassed.
"Um," your brows knitted together further. "What's cartography?"
Sunoo stared at you. You don't think he's weird?"
"I-I'm sorry," you continued, letting out a deep breath. You looked perplexed. "I'm not very smart. I don't know what cartography is. Or what geo-something-something is. Can you explain it to me?"
He stared at you again.
After what you just said, there was no way that he'd possibly let his feelings for you fade away. There were a lot of things that Sunoo couldn't agree with when it came to the popular kids at his school. But here he understood why hoards of boys would be at your feet, begging for just one chance.
The corners of his lips lifted. The bashful look on your face was... cute.
"It's okay," he began. "Cartography is just the science of making maps."
You looked even more confused, but also relieved. Relieved that he wasn't going to make fun of you for not knowing. "There's a science behind making maps?"
"Hm," Sunoo paused to think, "Not exactly. But there's a lot of thought that goes behind making maps."
"Why?"
Sunoo thought he was going to fall in love. He loved his friends, of course, but none of them were ever as curious about his interests as you were.
"Well," Sunoo's hands joined to make a circular shape. "The Earth is a three-dimensional globe." You nodded to show that you were listening, staring at him with curious eyes. "Imagine even trying to transfer a 3D globe onto a flat, two-dimensional surface. It's pretty difficult to do without intense distortion."
You nodded slowly, your eyes narrowing.
"Was I rambling?" Sunoo asked quietly, so quietly that he didn't even think you could hear him.
"No!" you jumped to answer, earning a glare from the librarian. "I'm just trying to process it."
After a few moments of silence, you sucked in a deep breath. "I get it now, sweetie. You're so smart."
"Th-Thank you..." Sunoo stuttered out. Did he really just ramble to you about maps? And did you actually just listen to him with interest? "What are you studying?"
"Oh, me?" you looked down, embarrassed again. "It's just history. I can't wrap my head around it and I have an exam next Wednesday."
"Oh...." Sunoo blinked. "I can help you."
And that's how he got invited to your dorm.
(And to hell with forgetting his feelings!)
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Truth be told, you weren't the person that everyone thought you were.
It seemed like, to the rest of the school, you were just a perfect little angel. And the fact that you rejected every guy that made advances toward you only helped that image grow.
Everyone thought you were perfect, beautiful, and most of all, untouchable.
And that couldn't be any further than the truth.
The truth was simply that no one was good enough for you. 
Everyone had an essence of snobbery to them, something that you just couldn't get past. You wanted someone raw and genuine, someone that had more substance to them than just their daddy's money.
Which was why you wanted Sunoo Kim.
And you wanted him bad.
There was something so fucking attractive amount the way he'd push up his glasses, eyes squinting to get a better look of the board as he messily jotted down notes.
There was something so charming about the way he clenched his jaw when he was concentrated, his brows furrowing.
There was something that made your stomach flip whenever he rolled up his sleeves to do some math problem that you probably couldn't understand.
There was something that made you so obsessed whenever he swiped his tongue over his plush lips, his eyes brightening as he explained his favorite topic.
God, you didn't just want him. You needed him.
All these years, you did everything with him at the back of your mind. Would Sunoo Kim look up from his massive textbook if you wore this skirt? Maybe he'd even breathe in your direction if you got a better grade on this exam. 
You didn't get it. Everyone looked at you, yet the only person that you wanted to look at you did not.
You wanted Sunoo Kim, and you wanted him bad.
You and Sunoo agreed to meet on Monday and Tuesday to help you study for your history exam on Wednesday.
On Monday, the two of you met in the library right after school. It was a quiet, focused session, covering all the necessary sections in a short amount of time. For the first time ever, you actually understood the concepts!
On Tuesday, the two of you agreed to meet in your dorm at 7PM, because that was when you knew your roommates would be gone.
You glanced at the analogue clock pinned high on the wall near the entrance of your dormitory. Every dorm room had one, as mandated by the school to promote punctuality— all the exact same model with a red-brown base, serif lettering, and a gold trim. Yet, the clock in your dorm felt slower, much slower than it should.
6:47PM, it read, the slow ticks pushing off the walls as if to tease you.
Couldn't 7PM come any faster?
Your eyes fell over to your roommate's mirror in the corner of her desk. 
The Academy's uniform was strict. Collared button-up, the school blazer with its crest crisply embroidered on, for girls the skirt at a reasonable length: it was all very stringent. All students were required to wear the uniform during school hours.
This study session with Sunoo would not be during school hours. You picked out your best top— a pretty, white top with a delicate lace trim. You always got the most stares when you wore this one (and hopefully, Sunoo would stare at you).
You never thought that you had to put any more effort into your appearance than you usually did, but as the clock ticked on the wall, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious.
You knew you were pretty, but what if Sunoo didn't think the same? Did you look weird today? You swore your face was feeling puffy earlier— should you do something? What if you suddenly woke up today and you morphed into a frog-like creature, and everybody knew except you?
You picked at your fingernails as you waited (im)patiently for 7PM to come. Your palms felt a little clammy, and your heart pounded in your chest with each passing minute.
And finally, just when all of your self-confidence was beginning to slip from your grasp, you heard a knock at your door.
If it was anybody else, you would've taken your time to get to the door, maybe even shout a little "Just a minute!"
But because it was the Sunoo Kim, you couldn't help but eagerly scurry to the door. You would've been embarrassed because Sunoo could 100% hear your loud footsteps as you rushed to the door, but you were too engulfed by your nerves to even think of it.
"Hi, sweetheart!" you blurted the second you opened your door, a bright smile on your face. There Sunoo stood, with his delicate face and thin gold-rim glasses, looking composed and focused as ever. And god did that make you want him.
"Oh, hi," Sunoo said coolly, pushing up the glasses on his nose. Though, you missed the way his eyes twitched, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he sucked in a sharp breath.
The two of you stood at the door for a few moments, just staring at each other. Your smile never faltered. If anyone were to see you, they'd see hearts in your eyes and a sparkly, pink lovey-dovey aura radiating off of you.
"Come in!" you said cheerfully, letting the boy into your dorm.
The two of you got to work pretty quickly. If there was one thing about Sunoo that you could appreciate, it was his sheer willpower and concentration when it came to academics.
It wasn't like you didn't try in school. That couldn't be further from the truth; you always tried your best, even when your best didn't earn you the best marks. 
Sunoo was just another level. You couldn't understand how he did it. He was so focused and intelligent, it made your chest feel warm and fuzzy.
The moment that he stepped inside, he had your textbook and notes cracked open immediately, asking you questions that were just a little too difficult for your mind to wrap around.
"What?!" you cried, your face scrunching as jumbled words that you couldn't understand fell from his lips. You looked at Sunoo incredulously. "We did not study that!"
You could have sworn Sunoo chuckled at your confusion, his eyes squeezing into thin crescents as the corner of his lips lifted. Usually, you'd feel embarrassed for not quite being the brightest, but Sunoo never made you feel that way.
"Lee is your professor," Sunoo pushed up his glasses, unable to hold back airy chuckles at your outrage. You nodded. "Well, he's notorious for his ridiculous trick questions, right? As your study-buddy, it's my duty to prepare you as best as I can."
That's when you got up from your desk chair and flopped over onto your bed, groaning into your pillows. 
"Why do you have to be so thoroughhhh?" you whined, kicking your feet.
Your heart fluttered when Sunoo laughed. 
Yes, laughed. 
It was high-pitched and breathy, like he was sucking in breaths of air only to push it out with a pretty giggle.
You whipped your head around, picking it up from the pillow. You stared at the boy with wide eyes. 
God, how could anyone be so beautiful?
You watched the boy laugh, completely and utterly infatuated with him. He was so cute. You needed him now.
You threw your head back into the pillow, continuing to groan and whine, in the hopes that it would make him laugh.
"You hate meeeeeee," you whined, "You hate meeeee!"
"I don't!" Sunoo laughed, his hands slapping his knees, "I don't hate you."
You whined again, kicking your feet. "You doooo."
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you, filled with quiet giggles. From your desk, Sunoo nudged you with his foot, earning another cute whine from you.
You were cute. And hardworking and enthusiastic. But that wasn't a surprise to Sunoo. 
Sunoo watched as you shouted at your roommate who came back to the dorm to fetch something she left behind.
"Hurry up, Yujin!" you chided quietly, trying to get Yujin out of the dorm as quickly as possible... before your momentum with Sunoo was lost. "Move it, move it!"
"Geez, sorry!" Yujin rummaged through her things, trying to look for whatever she forgot. 
When Yujin finally left, you never closed the door any fast, eagerly turning back to Sunoo and plopping down on your bed.
"Sorry, sweetie" you murmured, a frown on your face. "My friends are having a party tonight and Yujin forgot her lipstick, or something. Her stupid crush is there so she needs to look 'perfect' or whatever."
"Party?" Sunoo cocked a brow.
"Yeah," you rolled your eyes. "It's for someone's birthday."
Sunoo narrowed his eyes. 
Did you skip your friends' birthday party just to study for your history exam? 
.
.
.
Pause.
Did you just ditch your friends just to study with him?
A strange noise came out of Sunoo's lips as his cheeks felt warm.
Relax, he thought. It wasn't like it was a date or anything. Surely, you were just trying to get a good grade. That's why you chose to study instead of party.
"I was gonna go," you said smoothly, looking at your nails, "But how could I miss out on time with you?"
Sunoo's ears burned. 
"Oh— Well—" Just as words were becoming coherent in his head, you just had to drop that on him. He spluttered. "Thank you...? I-I— I mean—"
You chuckled. You got off the bed and joined Sunoo again at your desk. "Let's study, sweetheart."
For the next hour or so, the two of you were in a deep study session. Every word that you read and every word that fell from Sunoo's mouth, you soaked up like a sponge. You needed to pass this exam, and even more, you needed to make Sunoo's efforts worth it. He already spent yesterday and today helping you; you did not want to waste his time and fail.
Your dorm room was quiet now. Other than the sound of pages turning, pencils on parchment, and the distant sound of partying down the halls, the room was silent. From time to time, someone would run down the halls, probably running after their friend. You and Sunoo would look up at each other and share a chuckle.
You had just finished a practice test a few minutes ago, and now Sunoo was grading it for you. Meanwhile, you read up on your notes once again. Holding the notebook up, you hid behind it, creating a wall between you and Sunoo. 
You feared that if you could see Sunoo, you wouldn't be able to concentrate.
Well, just him being in the same room as you was already enough to make your mind drift. How could you not?
His concentrated expression made you feel weak to your knees, his fox-like eyes drilling into your practice test. His skin looked so perfect and airbrushed, you just wanted to pounce on him and mark it up and—
Okay, too far.
But still.
You've been studying for a good hour now. It wouldn't hurt to take a break, right?
You peeked over the side of your notebook to catch a glimpse of Sunoo. He was minding his own business and doing it quietly, but he looked so good that you couldn't tear your eyes away.
Yep, this was the break that your eyes needed, from those hunking paragraphs of text and difficult-to-read stimuli.
"Do you need something?" Sunoo asked, not moving his eyes from the practice test that he was currently grading. 
You felt your cheeks heat up. How did he notice your staring so quickly? This must mean that he could always notice you staring at him! Fuck, fuck, fuck, were you weird? He definitely thought you were weird now, and—
"N-Nothing," you stammered out, immediately burying yourself back into your notebook. In fact, you even went as far as turning your entire back from him out of embarrassment.
.
.
.
So embarrassing!
"I don't mind..." Sunoo murmured.
You snapped your head over to him. "W-What?"
Did you hear him correctly?
"I said..." This time, it was Sunoo's turn to hide his head behind the paper, making it impossible for you to see face. "I said I don't mind if you stare at me."
You felt light-headed.
Everything— from the deep espresso scent in the air to Sunoo's soft cologne to the way his moles littered his skin to the way he was sat so attractively at your desk, spouting intelligent nonsense at you to the very way that his glasses sat on his nose— everything about Sunoo was driving you mad.
Insane.
You didn't feel like yourself. You didn't feel like the perfect angel that everyone wanted you to be.
You felt like a selfish animal about to pounce on another. You felt like you were going to sink your teeth into his neck and ravage him.
Your head was spinning. Everything was spinning. Your skin felt hot, your mouth dry, as if it needed something to satiate it now. You were thirsty, thirsty for Sunoo, and nothing would be able to satisfy you but him.
And before you could even control yourself, you threw aside your notebook, grabbed Sunoo's face, and smashed your lips against his.
In that moment, it felt like all time stopped.
You couldn't feel anything, other than your hands that delicately clutched Sunoo's face, and your lips that were pressed against his. Your heart pounded in your ears. You felt like you were tied to a pyre, burnt like a sinner at the stake, yet it felt good.
But the moment that you heard Sunoo's breath hitch in his throat, a guttural sound tumbling out, you regained your senses.
Immediately, you pulled away, stumbling back as you caught your breath.
Sunoo's face was bright red as he stared at you. He took heavy breaths, almost like he wasn't breathing before.
"I-I'm—" you blurted, your mind not quite thinking straight. When your eyes met with Sunoo's you nearly bursted. "I-I'm so sorry— I don't know what came over me."
Sunoo only stared at you.
You swallowed the lump in your throat. What on earth did you just do? Suddenly, you were hit with regret and embarrassment.
You spluttered, apologies and jumbled words spilling out of your lips. Yet, Sunoo wasn't listening.
Your words fell upon deaf ears. 
Sunoo was too busy staring at your lips.
And if you weren't too busy apologizing, you would notice the way Sunoo's teeth dug into his bottom lip, his fists clenching as his nails prodded into his palms. You would notice the way Sunoo stared at you with glazed over eyes, how his pupils were blown out.
You would notice Sunoo's own self-control slipping out of his grasp.
After all the torment that he's been through— all your light touches, appearances in his dreams, and goddamn pretty smiles— Sunoo could feel his resolve being torn from his hands. He did his best; he dug his claws into what determination and control he had, but alas, it wasn't enough.
And as fast as you could blink, Sunoo grabbed your wrist and pulled you in against his chest.
Holding you by the waist, Sunoo gripped your chin. 
"Can I kiss you?" His voice was desperate. "Please, can I kiss you?"
"Yes," you whispered, your hands sliding up his chest to hold his broad shoulders. "Yes, please kiss me."
As the last syllable left your lips, Sunoo wasted no time crashing his lips against yours. 
Unlike his usual quiet and calm self, his lips were the complete opposite. They were rough and hungry, eating you like a starved man. You whined against his lips, gripping Sunoo's hair with weak fingers. 
It was a messy kiss. An inexperienced, messy kiss that any of your friends would jeer about. No rhythm, no ebb or flow, just feeling.
But to you, this was what you needed. 
You could taste the desperation on Sunoo's tongue; the taste of someone pushed to the edge and now finally tipping over. It sent electric waves of warmth down your skin, your stomach doing flips as his hands roamed.
Then, Sunoo gently pushed you onto the bed, his lips swollen as he peered down at you.
"Are you okay?" he asked quickly, making sure that he didn't push too hard.
You only smiled. "Mhm."
Sunoo got on top of you, being careful to not crush you under him.
It looked just like his dream.
The smell of espresso coffee in the air, the two of you in bed, and did you think he wouldn't notice the white lace top that you chose to wear? Just for him.
Sunoo leaned on his elbows for support as he was on top of you, leaning in to kiss you.
Except, before his lips could meet yours, you giggled, placing your hands on his shoulders to stop him.
Sunoo looked at you concerned, like a deer in headlights. Had he done something wrong?
But you only smiled. 
Gently, you put your hands on his glasses, straightening them out. They had gotten crooked earlier when the two of you first kissed. 
"Can I take these off, sweetie?" you asked.
Shivers ran down his spine at the nickname. Sunoo hummed, too eager to kiss you to even care if he'd be half-blind without them. You took his glasses off, putting it on your bedside table.
Sunoo took your face in his hands, his fox-like eyes staring into your eyes. 
"You look so beautiful," he breathed. Sunoo's head dived for your neck. His breath tickled your skin, making you let out a whimper. "So, so, so beautiful."
With that, Sunoo began pressing open-mouthed kisses on your neck. With each kiss you let out a moan, your arms tightly wrapped around his neck and pulling at his hair. Your legs wrapped around him, your head falling back into the pillows to give Sunoo better access.
"Su— Sunoo— ahh," you struggled out, especially when Sunoo sucked on your skin. Although he was only kissing your neck, your entire body felt like jelly, including your brain. "Sunoo— I-I'm sensi— sensitive there."
"Sensitive where?" Sunoo asked simply, ignoring the way that you squirmed under him.
When you could only moan in response, you could feel Sunoo grin against you.
His lips nipped at your collarbone. "Sensitive here?"
"A-Ah—" you moaned, your arm jerking out to grip the bed sheets below you.
Sunoo kissed a wet line to your jugular, right at the center of your neck. "What about here?"
When all you could do was whimper, he grinned again. His lips traveled to the very side of your neck, just under your ear.
"What about here?" he asked again.
But instead of a moan or whimper, you laughed. You threw your head back again, pulling Sunoo's head into your chest in an embrace as soft giggles left your lips.
"I'm ticklish there," you giggled out. You bring a hand up to brush up against that spot on your neck. You grinned softly. "Sorry, I'm ticklish there I guess."
Sunoo nodded into your shoulder. He took in your scent, the feeling of you pressed up against him. He didn't mind that your little session was interrupted by something light-hearted. After all, he got to learn something about you, no matter how small.
And just as Sunoo was listening to your heartbeat, you pulled him back. 
"Turn over," you instructed. He did just that. You were now on top of him. "My turn."
Just like in his dream. 
He was in for a long night.
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"Sunoo!" you shouted, your legs moving faster than you could think. The moment that you spotted his familiar back, you pounced on him, throwing your arms around him. "Sunoo, guess what?!"
Sunoo looked over his shoulder, swallowing back any embarrassment and shyness as you hugged him. Everyone in the hallway was staring at you by now, but it seemed like you didn't care. And if you didn't care, then he didn't care either. "What?"
You turned the boy over. It was now that he noticed the papers in your hands. You shoved it in his face, big red numbers at the forefront.
"One hundred percent!" you exclaimed. It was your history exam. "I got one hundred percent!"
The two of you celebrated (i.e. you hugged Sunoo) in the hallway, completely ignoring anyone that was staring. After all, it was Wednesday afternoon and the dining period was ending soon.
"Good job," Sunoo smiled. He was happy. "You did great."
"I couldn't have done it without you!" Your smile was so bright that it could light up the entire academy. You threw your arms around him again, this time pushing your face into his neck. You squeezed him. "Oh, thank you, thank you!"
You pulled back, looking at him with big, glimmering eyes. You took his hands in yours, squeezing them excitedly.
Feeling bold, Sunoo pushed up his glasses before leaning down to whisper in your ear. "Your neck," he rasped, "I can see the hickeys."
Your eyes widened into saucers at that, immediately fixing your shirt's collar. Your face was painted with shyness, squeezing your eyes shut. Your panic was so evident that anyone could probably tell. So cute.
"Just kidding," Sunoo chuckled, before he turned on his heel and began walking away from you, ignoring your cute shouting as you followed after him.
Yeah, he'd regret that later. After all, you had him on a leash, and there was no way in hell that he could escape you. 
He wasn't going to sleep tonight, one way or another. Not if it's you.
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