#mad at life for being so boring
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I fucking hate all the fomo in online gaming now, why the fuck can't i just play games at my own pace or go back and check something out later, like if i dont grind for this and do EVERYTHING RIGHT FUCKING NOW its GONE FOREVER, i dont need that shit. Its GAMEING?? It's supposed to be FUN!??
#i get its all to maximise some shit bla bla bla#its fucking lame though#maybe it works for someone but NOT ME BRO#talky#literally nothing#esp w shit like fortnite where i pay 10 bucks for a bonus pass just to end up not finishing it and therefore having WASTED half of my money#i dont even buy the battle pass anymore man#yes im still mad about not being able to get appa and momo in fortnite despite having paid for the fucking avatar season pass#JUST BECAUSE I HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE AWAY FROM MY PC FOR A MONTH#im sorry i had to LIVE fortnite cant i just get my stupid little characters later?#like im still gonna do the work id still grund your gay little quests but just LATER when i HAVE FUCKING TIME#it just means im bored 90% of the time by the passes and stuff and then something i do like is in i have to RUSH#and i gotta be glued to the fortnite news so i dont miss a drop#otherwise id be a day late to it and therefore have wasted my time#like yeah the bp gives you several months to do it but like why cant i just go back later#like if i could visit old passes or quests id be engaged with the game way longer bc id always have shit to do for stuff i actually want#whatever#like dude i PAID for those skins essentially and didnt get them bc i had life#still mad about it#probably forever mad about it
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terrified of talking to my own bestfriend
#i don't like being emotionally distant and unavailable but like. i do.#cause it means whenever i do talk to them they'll be like oh my god thank god we're stil lfriends#if we talk too regularly im scared she'll get bored of me and realise she can do so much better and leave me#lol i really hope one day the way i behave isn't dominated by my fear of people leaving#fuck i miss home suddenly#my sister is definitely going abroad on like jan 13th#im trying to hold onto hating her because of thr last fight we had but i know it's paper thin#i don't know how to cope with it so i was just hoping that if i stay mad at her then her leaving will hurt less#but like fuck she doesn't even care she's so much more older and wiser and fulfilled in life na and im suddenly crying now wow#i really wish this period would just come instead of a like a week long pms
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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)
#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now#that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end#ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes#youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused#more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that#aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better#please someone do this 😭#lee text#hsr#i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end#my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder#but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him#instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now#they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot#so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it#maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because#they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing#we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end#or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e#i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid#is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead#OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation#and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying#his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed#these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better#lee rambles
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btw if u equate childe and aventurines backstory in any fucking way please leave this blog and unfollow me <3 preferably block me while ur at it too uwu
#havent you people done enough to systematically destroy his characterization already? genuinely curious#turning him into generic YA sadboy with no narrative purpose according to yall than to be traumatize meow meow smolbean#who has no greater purpose no greater relevance whos just a victim with 868 made up mental illnessess#and actually the fact that he canonically displays no typical signs of mental illness or distress proves he has giga trauma#because we all know the writers intention is always the thing they give 0 time on screen 0 hints at in lore 0 presence in canon#because you people are so fucking boring and incapable of basic reading comprehension that 'fantasy isnt 1 to 1 with irl psychiatry'#and 'stories can ignore real life logic of human psychology in favor of a desired narrative'#are like completely fucking incomprehensible concepts#god i am so fucking mad#like now the fact that another character hoyo wrote from a different fucking game#has some surface level adjacent qualities to ajax. and turns out to have a sad backstory#THATS fucking proof to yall? imagine reaching this hard .#none of you people have ever genuinely liked childe as the character he is canonically established to be#leave him the fuck alone#i am so fucking exhausted#but NOOOOOO listen childe is female coded with prey instinct and actually showing 0 signs of trauma is proof you have SUPER trauma#and him being mentally well off and clearly at peace with who he is in all its contradictions is just him brainwashing himself to believe i#AND IVE SEEN WORSE. IVE SEEN WORSE#god i am so fucking mad and exhausted and depressed like NONE of the people in this fucking fandom actually care abt him#as the banger fucking character he is#because he just has to be the most boring fucking YA archetype bc you ppl cant comprehend nor handle anything interesting .#anyway woops.#delete later
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Sorry to start complaining but its my tumblr
#my friend cut me off for being mean to a guy she didn't even know#and said she hated how i treated ppl but she literally stalked his account to find his brother and post in our gc that hes hot#and proceeded to ask if he's bisexual#i was mean to him bc he kept standing me up so i said he can hangout now or im done talking to him#she was so mad at me for it too and ended a 6 year friendship ovr it#i cant help but to be upset she left and i started subconsciously blaming her#like she didn't know my dad was gonna die etc. but i was with her 24/7 when her family member died#I WAS WATCHING MY GRANDMA WHO HAD CANCER BTW.#like she didn't care at all abt me and it's so hard to face that while not having my dad#then i made a new friend and we talked for awhile but she cut me off randomly w/out any reason#and ive been crying over it#i just feel like i am an issue and problem#I have a horrible habit of only choosing one person to talk to and then facing the repercussions of it when they leave (isolated)#and i know it's my fault but i wish ppl told me what i did wrong or what i did to make them mad/uncomfortable/sad bc i can fix my behavior#but if they just leave it shows they didn't really want to be my friend and that's ok but#all i have is my husband and it gets so boring my life shouldn't revolve around him yet it does because I'm so inept at talking
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wish i found leon and ada believable as a couple bc the dynamic of action hero and antihero who steals shit from them inc. their heart and brain is so good but unfortunately there is nothing there. and there will continue 2 be nothing there as long as ada exists in perpetuity as the video game equivalent of the sexy green m&m
#or#revil posting#they went too far w the mystique of it all they forgot to give her a character#like i love her in my brain she's wonderful <3 but she is really like a sexy lamp for all of the character work capcom put into her#ada is. competent. and wears cocktail dresses to the zombie apocalypse on two separate occasions. thts it xoxo#she's also a feminist bc she feels bad that carla got her shit rocked by mad science but not that bad yk cause shes ambivalent#her va in the remakes is doing so much by giving her that flat affect but my running wild with an autism headcanon is not a real trait#(neither is the likely intention of her just being . really bored of me lol)#that ada wong actually has and expresses <3 this is a post where i talk abt how i do not connect with The revil ship but#now it's a post about how ada could be Everything. they Stole her Moments they Took her Cutscenes#and she already had so little......... my beloved#sorry ive just googled are there books about ada wong and she is in One book. and this review says the author 'gives life to characters#whose motivations we normally only get in cutscenes' or w/e and now im wondering if i need to read this. if This will tell me#give me Ada Info. Ada Lore.#god and i havent even mentioned that leon is gay and all the smart gamers know it!!!#the ideal ada/leon dynamic is roommates
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one thing about me is, i'll always always always value creativity and experimental ideas and stories and new structure-breaking narratives above established "commonly valued" creations, even if the creative idea's execution is less than ideal, even if the established story is "perfect and spotless". Like, i literally dont care, unconventional and paculiar and unexpected works of art are infinitely more valuable to me whether in subpar execution state or in perfect structure. If you did it differently and did it your way your creation will always be more important to me than any predictable and "proper" narrative made in complete and utter obedience of well reinforced explicit and implicit rules. "this is very well made in all the technicalities look at all these clean details—" catch me give a fuck. It's cliche, repetitive, it's boring, i dont care. We live in a time where obedience of known metrics seemingly ranks higher than any form of outside-the-box creativity and i'm done with it. Say something new, say something personal, say something earnest and paculiar and weird or i'm out of this theater.
#in semi continuous of the same notes; if you look up in the dictionary the definition of madness is me asking for feedback on my writing#from people who are knee deep in traditional structures and have not tried a single new imagery in their entire life#like babygirl they wont love you!!!! by definition they're looking at you from a place of dismay because you're going#against their ingrained value; you're undermining the predictable known forms they love so dearly!!!!#there's no way someone like that can offer any kind of coherent and geniune feedback on your work because –hear me out–#THEY DONT FUCKING VALUE WHAT YOU DO#like their baseline attitude is ''i couldn't care less if what you created didn't exist it's irrelevant to me'' THAT'S NOT A PERSON#WHO'S GONNA HELP YOU HONE YOUR CRAFT THEY DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR CRAFT#''i dont like poetry but–'' ''i dont write in this style but–'' ''i dont read these kinda stuff but–'' the conversation is over.#there's no buts. by the principle of being outside the framework you do not have the level of appreciation expertise and nuance it takes#to offer valuable and applicable feedback and your take may be fun but it's irrelevant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also another form of the barely disguised disdain is ''your creation will only be valuable if it's executed to utter perfection'' and no.#everyday i wake up and see mediocre people#celebrating utterly bland and boring mediocre writing like it's the last day of their fucking lives.#i'll not be held to standards of ''perfect performance'' just because you dont have the balls#to say that you dont enjoy and have no appreciation for creativity and experimental efforts#''it needs to be better'' is just a polite way of saying#''i dont love this but i feel bad about it so i'll trick you and myself into thinking i'll love it if it's done faultless''#there's no stage in which an effort in creativity will be faultless to you because the fault#to you#IS the creativity and deviation from the norms.#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#anyway good morning in this house we have absolutely zero value for bland cliche stereotypical generic things 🌸✨️#on art#on writing
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I miss talking to my friends genuinely but also I have very much overstayed my welcome everywhere and it's too late (I got VERY annoying near the end + fell out of a major interest which didn't help. my bad yall 😔) I feel like I should remake at this point and just move on but also. move on to what
#goddamn its fucking confetti again#go back#like at this point nobody wants me around because of obvious reasons but also#part of me would rather be distantly known as instead of being completely forgotten 💀#love my inability to keep up with anyone despite wanting to so bad#either becuase i cant fucking remember or because eventually i either become intensely annoying or intensely boring#im already a fraction of how active as i was like even a year and a half ago. Would it even matter if i remade. Probably not#WORST lesbian dream of my life was dreaming about bayojeanne and having every single positive feeling i felt about them and then waking#and remembering i can never go back to that. I dont even care about bayo 3 anymore i just know i was MAD annoying#and i cant just to it even if i wanted#and then it started making me spiral about everything even unrelated to it#pain. So much pain. Lets take ibuprofen together#ok thinking about it most of everyone probably doesnt even remember me and arent actively annoyed by me so. Maybe thats better#thats probably better#uhrmm thid got long lol sorry i dont really hsve access to a place to talk anymore so i kind of just go here#bc this tumblr is filled with dead followers and so its safer snd less likely it gets seen#not to be dramatic but this must br what dying feels like lol
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I hate going through notes/comments and seeing a bunch of people (rightfully) ganging up on another person but that bitch deleted their comments so now I can't see their stupidity
I WANT THE DRAMA AND THE WHOLE STORY HOW DARE YOU
#just mads things#look#iike drama#when im not apart of it#my life is boring and its entertaining if youre being stupid on main dont delete and hide#keep that shit up soley so that i can see it#and if you learned ANYTHING from the hundreds of people that are taking their time to educate you#APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR SHIT
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“if we pull the weeds the bees won’t get their food” wrong. like you literally could not be more wrong if you tried
#my favorite poison ivy is mad ecologist Unfortunately dc comics doesn’t love me so the writers always have to say some shit that shows she’s#never opened an ecology textbook in her life#granted she Could just be a mad botanist with no actual concept of ecology which could be interesting but they always try to align her#w nature bc they see plants as being More Naturey than animals bc they don’t read ecology books#‘animals bore me including people i just wanna learn about plants’ <- real type of guy i had this guy as a professor he was an alcoholic#i forgot the point of what i was saying i was complaining about her mom being wrong in this. about weeds
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||. it's not meme weekend but you guys the "i stg stop mischaracterizing thor for the sake of your blorbo" salt is STRONG rn
#(imagine being turned into an abuser by ppl who don't even understand the character they're trying to defend by calling u that)#(imagine being torn down into some shiny blond hunk who's evil and deserves to die and not be the main character just bc ur not edgy enough#(in fact you're so complex and broody and yet rise above it that you're BORING at best and a HIMBO at worst bc ppl hate you ig)#(also how dare anybody point out that just as your brother is an abuse victim who was lied to his whole life... SO ARE YOU)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#( salt to taste . ) — in this house we love the actual main character . crazy i know .#(sorry guys i'm mad on his behalf again)
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different anon here - we don't know your or your relationship, but i will say: if your relationship makes you sad/stressed/hurt/generally unhappy more than it fulfills you and makes you feel happier, consider what walking away would look like. obviously no one is perfect and neither is any relationship, and like i said, i don't know you two so i won't say definitively "oh you should break up", but do keep in mind that if you feel disrespected or hurt more often that not, even if it's not intentional, that's cause for concern.
rooting for you and your happiness, no matter what happens. look after yourself 💛
i’m just making things seem worse than they are because i’m irrationally upset about some things she’s said and im generally upset and stressed about a lot. i’m usually happy when we’re together, it’s just when we aren’t physically in the same space i start overthinking every time i’ve been sad because of something she said or did and it makes me sadder than i should be
#anonymous#thrown out speeches*#like the name thing hurt more because she’s already made me sad about my name before (bc she usually uses my stage name instead)#the comments about my work upset me more than they should because i’m really proud of it and i know that’s stupid and she’s being realistic#the comments about money and the carelessness about planning expensive things are frustrating because she knows i’m broke#but that’s not her fault it’s just she deserves doing nice things and i can’t afford to do them when she wants#and her making fun my interests hurts because of autism and being bullied for being a nerd my whole life#i’m just used to people doing it to upset me so i’m not used to her just making fun of those things for fun#the ring bothers me because i didn’t buy her the first one (her friend did so she could move to the us) and she’s wants me to replace it#like i know she needs an engagement ring but i wasn’t planning on proposing for like a year so obviously i haven’t saved for one#honestly i only asked her then because she was so bored and mad at me the whole weekend and i wanted to try and save it somehow#like the whole weekend and con was ruined for me anyway and thinking about it just makes me sad and gross feeling#but like. that’s not her fault. she was bored and being there didn’t interest her#i was the one who wanted her to come and i shouldn’t sit here being upset about everything#and i get upset over her saying she’s the only person who should matter and the only person who’ll deal with me because like.#i’ve been in abusive relationships where that was true. and like. i know she isn’t wrong.#so it just upsets me because i start worrying that my friends don’t actually want me around or care about me#but that shouldn’t matter and i know it shouldn’t make me upset because she’s my partner she’s meant to be my priority anyway#i just get upset way too easily
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i really need to prioritise my health and stop going on here, i probably should avoid anything that makes my brain think a lot. but fuck i want to live and ive also developed depression because of it. but if i dont actually fucking rot in bed for a few days it will only go worse
#remember when i said that i wished i could play video games when sleeping??? yea im just so bored#im sorry for yapping about my sickness again but its what my life has become so idk#<- someone who definitely is a little depressed and thinks the world has become darker at the end of may#im so scared of being stuck with this shit forever so i reaaaaally fucking need to avoid anyth that makes me upset/anxious/mad/think a lot#im sorry it doesnt mean i dont care#sage posting#personal
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Anyway I'm going to go fucking rot in a ditch
#grecian's boring life#it is my goddamn cynical white privilege to say I'm sick of things that make me happy being ripped away#I'm not mad at the boycott I'm mad at the companies and the horrible things happening and I'm so tired of how terrible this world is
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I love to get 2 on
Tags: Satoru x fem!Reader, Toji x fem!Reader, mmf, polyamory, cursing, smut (fighting over who gets to breed you), dumbification, finger sucking, breeding kink duh, implied size kink, daddy kink, mdni.
An: this is so self indulgent of me to write but idc nothing else is intriguing me besides this thought. this will likely end up being a small series because i have sooooo many ideas about these two nasty fucks.
Having both Toji and Satoru as boyfriends was not for the weak willed because these two men are constantly at each other’s throats when it comes to your attention.
“Don’t look at him. Look at me. ‘m the one givin this pussy what she wants.” Toji’s husky voice growls into your ear, breath fanning across your skin before he grunts.
His hips are slapping against yours — fucking you deep into the mattress while his heavy cock slides in and out of your sloppy hole. Pornographic squelches are coming straight from your pussy, making you cringe, but both of your boyfriends seem to be going feral from it.
Satoru’s pale blue eyes roll as Toji once again steals the show away from him. His palm cups your chin, and he drags your focus right back to his swollen cock. His tip is a pretty shade of pink, and it’s sweltering — leaking beads of precum over and over while he leisurely drags his hand up and down his length .
“Don’t listen to him. Look at Toru.” He coos with a grin, loving how fucked out your face gets when Toji absolutely ruins you. “He’s just a placeholder, riiight~? You’re still going to let me breed you after.”
You’re so pliant for them, nodding your head like a dumb slut. Nothing else in the world is better than when they both take turns breeding you again and again.
“This placeholders ‘bout to make her cum again.” Toji taunts, gripping your hips with bruising strength as he rolls his hips just the way you like. His tip presses kisses of precum so deep inside you. You can barely breathe much less think.
“You better not, princess. Suppose to wait for Toru, remember?” Satoru’s voice grows stern, and his eyes bore into yours in an almost eerie fashion.
“C’mon, doll. Cum for daddy. I can feel you tightening around me. I know ya want to.”
It’s all so much. Watching Satoru fuck into his wrist while Toji’s tip is practically massaging your g-spot. You give Satoru a sorrowful glance before letting out a pleasured cry. Your hands fist at the sheets, and your toes literally curl as juices gush out around the base of Toji’s cock.
“Yeeaah, not bad for a placeholder, right?” Toji’s lips quirk up into a smirk before he presses a kiss to your lips, drinking down your moans just to rub it in Satoru’s face even more.
All it takes is one look from Satoru, and Toji slides out of you with a grin. “I got ‘er warmed up for ya.” Toji laughs as he and Satoru switch positions. You lazily part your thighs for Satoru, still trying to catch your breath from the soul shattering orgasm Toji just gave you.
“Nuh uh. You wanted to be a slut on his cock. ‘m gonna treat you like one.” His hands grab your waist, and he rolls you onto your stomach forcefully.
From the outside, everyone would probably guess that brooding Toji’s the mean one in these scenarios, but they’d be dead wrong.
Satoru, after a life of being spoilt, gets so rude and aggressive when he doesn’t get what he wants. Toji purposefully pushes him to that point — partly so he can watch you get railed deeply into the mattress until tears fall from your eyes.
The heel of Satoru’s palm connects with your back, and he forces your face and shoulders down into the sheets while his other hands guides his cock to your weeping entrance.
You grip at the sheets immediately, letting out a hiss as he buries himself all the way to the hilt in one fluid thrust.
“Fuck.” Satoru groans as if he’s genuinely mad at how wet you are — frustrated that Toji could get you this messy.
Toji brushes your hair away from your face, and his large palm rubs at your cheek gently — a tender reminder to keep your eyes on him while he jerks his cock right in front of your face.
“Just couldn’t wait, could you? I was- ngh.. gonna be nice to you tonight… since hah~ I’m trying to put a baby in you.” Satoru’s hips are forcefully slamming into your backside. He’s not moving fast, but his pace is punishing. “Toji’s already got a kid. It’s my turn.”
Your juices are seeping around his cock, forming a thin white line right around the base that makes Satoru’s cock twitch in delight. His hand slaps at the fat of your ass smack! before he’s pulling on your hips, making you meet him halfway just so he can make his thrusts count.
“Takin’ him so well. Keep it up for, daddy, yeah?” Toji murmurs before pressing a loving kiss to your temple.
Your mouth opens for Toji, and he gives you an affectionate chuckle before placing his thumb against your tongue to soothe that oral fixation you have. He knows that if he fucks your face, Satoru will have even more of a hissy fit and probably fuck you out of commission for a few days.
“Focus on him, doll. Looks like he’s making ya feel real good.” You nod, sucking on Toji’s thumb in between breathless whines and moans.
Satoru’s balls are so heavy, brutally slapping against your puffy clit with each thrust. Thwak! Thwak! Thwak! He’s been saving up for you, adamant that he needs to breed you. He’s the upcoming Gojo clan head after all; it’s natural that those old hags want a baby with his blessed genes.
All it takes is feeling your spongy walls clench around him like a vice, and Satoru’s jerking you up by your arms, forcing your back in to an arch to where the imprint of his dick bulges through your belly.
Both of you are so noisy when you cum, Toji thinks. He watches in slight awe as Satoru pumps you full with his sticky seed. He can tell by the look on Satoru’s face that you’re milking him for all he’s worth too, and it’s so fucking hot.
Toji pushes you back down into the bed. Both men aren’t good with words. They’re good at doing. He arches his hips out before rope after rope of white hot cum spurt from his tip all over your face, marking his territory.
After a moment of cleaning up and giving you small tokens of affection through praises and kisses, the men are right back at each other’s throats.
“Ya know, if you’re not able to keep up, I can breed her cunt, and let ya pass off my kid as yours.” Toji taunts with a smirk.
“Yeah, as if your first kid didn’t look like he came from your ass. Fat chance. Sweets and I are gonna make a pretty blue-eyed baby with white hair.” Satoru hums as he affectionately ruffles your hair. “Isn’t that right, pretty~?”
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#fanfic#drabble#jjk suggestive#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#jjk smut#jujutsu gojo#gojo x reader#gojo smut#satoru x y/n#satoru x you#satoru x reader#satoru smut#toji x you#toji smut#jjk toji#jujutsu toji#toji x y/n#toji x reader#jjk x reader
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one version of a self-insert me character in star rail would be some sort of crazy mad scientist. but subject about it. basically like ruan mei, but worse. because i'd try to experiment on a human (blade specifically) in my pursuit to understand the universe and things that live in it. (assuming she wouldn't actually cut apart a living person lmao. maybe she would go that far idk)
i'd be distraught about wanting to know the secrets of the universe and not being able to ever grasp them in my lifetime. elio would find me and tell me he can grant me that knowledge and more because he's close to gaining it himself or something like that. so I follow him. i'm introduced to the stellaron hunters and blade immediately catches my attention.
after I learn about him, I immediately pull out a scalpel with an evil grin on my face. "How would you feel about being dissected like a bug......for science."
I figure he's used to pain and seems numb and wouldn't mind. and he'll heal anyway. then I can dissect and study him many times. but he just stares at me for a long, quiet moment and walks away. I never get an answer. I make some threats, but I won't stabby without consent.
maybe kafka stops me the next time I pull out a scalpel and says we have work to do, we can't wait for him to heal. she keeps stopping me. maybe silver wolf has to talk sense into me that i can't just do that. he walks like the dead, but he's still alive. you can't direct a living person even if they are *like him.* maybe I start to change for the better or something and find ways to study him without *stabby slicy mad scientist noises* fhfhjdjdssj
I just really want to know more about blade right now....and how exactly his fucked up body works....and since they aren't revealing enough to us, my brain did a dive into the story to study him like a bug. no blades were hurt in this thought experiment....yet.
#lee rambles#hsr#lee text#sometimes im bored to death at work and write stories in my head. i guess self inserts arent off the table even if theyre cringe fhdjdjddjs#another version of self insert hsr me is being a vidyadhara who takes the journals of my past life and for some reason becomes obsessed#and takes on their life essentially. theres no reason for it other than i have an interest in acting snd theyre like a character in a book#theres more to it thst connects to other characters like past life was yingxing apprentice and meets blade and is like huh....interesting#but self inserts are cringe right? thats the general concensus right? so ignore that part#think of it as au character and story building due to extreme boredom but im looking through their eyes to write their pov#MY JOB IS SO MIND-NUMBINGLY BORING PLEASE HELP ME#this is a weird ramble im sorry to anyone who reads this boredom induced nonsense. now i need to actually do my job lmao#what if these two versions become the same character. dropping the persona to embrace mad scientist.#im never actually writing these dont worry. its just thought experiments to entertain my shriveling brain
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