#mad at life for being so boring

[emulation-0]

it seems people are already upset that tsumiki is not nice anymore, sorry you dont know her like i do

[alchemiclee]

been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)

[narwhalandchill]

btw if u equate childe and aventurines backstory in any fucking way please leave this blog and unfollow me <3 preferably block me while ur at it too uwu

[steakout-05]

i was thinking about how it took me a while to figure out i'm aegosexual (which basically means that there's a disconnect between yourself and being the subject of attraction) and i thought about how much i really dislike and just cannot see myself in slash reader fics. i tend to dislike these fics for multiple reasons, but some of them include that the reader self insert is usually really boring, has no personality outside of being lovey dovey and isn't unhinged enough for certain characters for reasons outside of contrasting personalities for my tastes (like spamton for example, why are you writing a normal protagonist to pair with fuckin spamton of all characters). but another reason is that i literally cannot connect myself to the reader self insert. like i cannot imagine myself in their place at all, it's always another stand-in that i imagine instead and thinking about myself in their place makes me uncomfortable. i can't see myself in their place because i don't see myself as a subject of attraction, and i'm repulsed to that idea. so i imagine someone else instead because that's better to me. and also because of the aforementioned reasons that have more to do with the writing of the self insert, i just cannot imagine myself acting the way the self insert does because I Personally Would Not Fucking Do That™. like i would not be romantically kissing a guy on a date, i would be infodumping about my special interests for 3 hours and then start ranting about how funny cars are while he just smiles and nods lmao

this is why i've never really self-shipped with any character. like i can be attracted to them and be like "i wanna hold his hand/kiss him/do inexplicable things to his psyche", but in reality i could never actually see myself as a subject of attraction by this character, so i'd either ship them with another character i like or imagine a sort of stand-in that has some of my traits and lives out my fantasies but still isn't me. i can fall in love but i can never connect because ew that's gross and weird. watching from the sidelines by reading fics and looking at fanart about characters being shipped with others and being intimate with each other is more my cup of tea.

[ostwitchsheart]

Sorry to start complaining but its my tumblr

[liferetainsitssparkle]

wish i found leon and ada believable as a couple bc the dynamic of action hero and antihero who steals shit from them inc. their heart and brain is so good but unfortunately there is nothing there. and there will continue 2 be nothing there as long as ada exists in perpetuity as the video game equivalent of the sexy green m&m

[psalmsofpsychosis]

one thing about me is, i'll always always always value creativity and experimental ideas and stories and new structure-breaking narratives above established "commonly valued" creations, even if the creative idea's execution is less than ideal, even if the established story is "perfect and spotless". Like, i literally dont care, unconventional and paculiar and unexpected works of art are infinitely more valuable to me whether in subpar execution state or in perfect structure. If you did it differently and did it your way your creation will always be more important to me than any predictable and "proper" narrative made in complete and utter obedience of well reinforced explicit and implicit rules. "this is very well made in all the technicalities look at all these clean details—" catch me give a fuck. It's cliche, repetitive, it's boring, i dont care. We live in a time where obedience of known metrics seemingly ranks higher than any form of outside-the-box creativity and i'm done with it. Say something new, say something personal, say something earnest and paculiar and weird or i'm out of this theater.

[confettigraffiti]

I miss talking to my friends genuinely but also I have very much overstayed my welcome everywhere and it's too late (I got VERY annoying near the end + fell out of a major interest which didn't help. my bad yall 😔) I feel like I should remake at this point and just move on but also. move on to what

[twd-obsessed-bitch]

I hate going through notes/comments and seeing a bunch of people (rightfully) ganging up on another person but that bitch deleted their comments so now I can't see their stupidity

I WANT THE DRAMA AND THE WHOLE STORY HOW DARE YOU

[miss-perkey]

I'm glad my spouse has gotten into gposing and having fun with their ffxiv character and all but I just cant relate and I know I should post my wol more cause I love her and want to get better but I'm insecure lol

But it's so disheartening for me to look over at these gpose circles and see waves and waves of miqote and aura with no elezen or roe in sight. Not to discredit any of them cause they're having fun doing their own thing

But I'm petty and bitter and I just dont care about the same catgirl/aura looking girl post after post after post 💀 I want to post my girl more on twitter to make content for myself but I just know I'll be upset at the lack of attention femroes get (especially if they're not playing into muscle mommy whatnot, which is fine, but not for my girl lmao). But I just gotta do it and deal with it

I know it's also just glorified playing with dolls and all too but I cant relate with my spouse and some others who gpose solely for the photos and have like no developed or established character or anything. Like the character in the gpose doesnt have a personality or any traits, story, fun facts, etc. The photos themselves are the creative outlet for sure and it takes a lot of skill and work to pose and adjust lighting and make something fun.

I just cant imagine doing that for a pretty looking character that has no established anything lmao I want to use them to tell a story or share about a character.

[seveneyesoup]

“if we pull the weeds the bees won’t get their food” wrong. like you literally could not be more wrong if you tried

[magnusmodig]

||. it's not meme weekend but you guys the "i stg stop mischaracterizing thor for the sake of your blorbo" salt is STRONG rn

[drivemysoul]

different anon here - we don't know your or your relationship, but i will say: if your relationship makes you sad/stressed/hurt/generally unhappy more than it fulfills you and makes you feel happier, consider what walking away would look like. obviously no one is perfect and neither is any relationship, and like i said, i don't know you two so i won't say definitively "oh you should break up", but do keep in mind that if you feel disrespected or hurt more often that not, even if it's not intentional, that's cause for concern.

rooting for you and your happiness, no matter what happens. look after yourself 💛

i’m just making things seem worse than they are because i’m irrationally upset about some things she’s said and im generally upset and stressed about a lot. i’m usually happy when we’re together, it’s just when we aren’t physically in the same space i start overthinking every time i’ve been sad because of something she said or did and it makes me sadder than i should be

[neonvqmpire]

i really need to prioritise my health and stop going on here, i probably should avoid anything that makes my brain think a lot. but fuck i want to live and ive also developed depression because of it. but if i dont actually fucking rot in bed for a few days it will only go worse

[grecianfilipina]

Anyway I'm going to go fucking rot in a ditch

[alchemiclee]

one version of a self-insert me character in star rail would be some sort of crazy mad scientist. but subject about it. basically like ruan mei, but worse. because i'd try to experiment on a human (blade specifically) in my pursuit to understand the universe and things that live in it. (assuming she wouldn't actually cut apart a living person lmao. maybe she would go that far idk)

i'd be distraught about wanting to know the secrets of the universe and not being able to ever grasp them in my lifetime. elio would find me and tell me he can grant me that knowledge and more because he's close to gaining it himself or something like that. so I follow him. i'm introduced to the stellaron hunters and blade immediately catches my attention.

after I learn about him, I immediately pull out a scalpel with an evil grin on my face. "How would you feel about being dissected like a bug......for science."

I figure he's used to pain and seems numb and wouldn't mind. and he'll heal anyway. then I can dissect and study him many times. but he just stares at me for a long, quiet moment and walks away. I never get an answer. I make some threats, but I won't stabby without consent.

maybe kafka stops me the next time I pull out a scalpel and says we have work to do, we can't wait for him to heal. she keeps stopping me. maybe silver wolf has to talk sense into me that i can't just do that. he walks like the dead, but he's still alive. you can't direct a living person even if they are *like him.* maybe I start to change for the better or something and find ways to study him without *stabby slicy mad scientist noises* fhfhjdjdssj

I just really want to know more about blade right now....and how exactly his fucked up body works....and since they aren't revealing enough to us, my brain did a dive into the story to study him like a bug. no blades were hurt in this thought experiment....yet.