#macho cigar man

[the-evening-shade]

[veryboss]

[idesofrevolution]

Quality Time

*PING* Rocco looked down and smiles. He'd been wondering what Carlo and their father had been up to for the past week. Ever since their mother left a couple of years back, their father had been relatively distant- choosing to spend his hours away from the office at the gym instead of at home with his sons. To be fair, Rocco had left the house at 18, and now at 24 he wasn't home as often as he'd hoped. Nonetheless, it took both boys by shock when their relatively distant father decided to take a month off of work to spend some "quality time" with his sons. Carlo got the first two weeks, and Rocco would have the second. What they were in for, their father wouldn't say.

Hey, Roc. Dad wants us all to meet up tonight. We're at the gym on Broad Street, meet us there in 30 minutes.

The text was odd, definitely different than the normally chipper tone his brother is known for having. There wasn't even a single emoji... Rocco had hoped that everything would go well, but from the curtness of Carlo's message, it wasn't looking good. He sighed, walking his lanky ass over to the closet and throwing on some clothes, wasting no time making the 20 minute walk down to Broad street. The dim neon glow of the Planet Jacked sign illuminated the front of the strip mall; at 9PM on a Wednesday, the gym was the only business open compared to the vacant suites and GameStop next door.

Rocco pulled open the door, pulling out his phone to text Carlo that he'd arrived. The response was immediate:

In the kettlebell room. Hurry up.

Something did feel off, but Rocco had dismissed it as an irritated Carlo trying to pawn their gruff and macho dad off on him. Neither were "manly men" by their father's standards, not that he'd ever treated them poorly by any means. It just meant that they had little to nigh in common with eachother, and little to build a very "buddy buddy" relationship on. But, at least he was making an effort.

Rocco made his way through the gym floor, weaving through benches and weight machines to the double glass doors that houses the calisthenics room. He pushed open the door, and walked inside. Right off the bat, his suspicions that something was off were proven to be justified as he saw his brother flexing in the mirror. Or at least, he thought it was his brother. The man had Carlo's likeness: his short stature, his green eyes, the black and green headphones... but this was not his brother.

Carlo was easily 100 lbs of muscle heavier than when he'd left with their father on Monday morning. His hair was buzzed short, his formerly friendly face now scowled an aggressive smoulder, his arms and legs were bursting with hard muscle. Compared to the 5'2" skinny 19 year old Rocco had known, this man might as well have been a stranger.

"Get my bag over there, gotta shower and change." His voice was harsh, gruff... as if he'd smoked eight cigars before working out. He remained flexing in the mirror, as Rocco stood there gobsmacked. His eyes quickly shifted from his physique to his brother standing perplexed at the door. "You gonna sit and stare or are we gonna get going?" Rocco slowly walked over to Carlo's gym bag, picking it up and straining to shlep it over his shoulder. "Jesus, Roc. We've got to get you into the gym. C'mon, let's go." Carlo turned and walked out of the room, with Rocco hastening to meet his pace.

"Uh, Carlo... Did you... take something? I mean, I'm not accusing you of anything, but how did you..."

"Get this fuckin' jacked? Dad helped out a bit." Outside of Rocco's eyesight, Carlo smirked devilishly. He sneered, hocking a mouthful of spit onto the garbage can. Rocco nearly dropped the bag and bolted. This couldn't be the sweet, naive little brother he'd grown up with. If anything, he was acting more like their father than himself. As they entered the locker room, Carlo stopped at the mirror again, pinching his chin as if he were checking himself out in the mirror. "Yeah, Dad was saying he wanted me to try some pussy this week, and that girls liked a guy with guns. Heh, it worked." He flexed his massive arms, the putrid scent of heavy unwashed musk wafted from his pits as he did. Rocco pinched his nose, dropping the gym bag onto the bench.

"Since when have you been interested in girls?" Rocco spoke with genuine concern in his voice. Carlo had been an out and proud gay man for years now. Their father never understood it, but it never really bothered him any. To him, as long as his sons were 'getting some' then all was well. But this, combined with Carlo's inflated ego and body...

"Since I felt like it. Thought I'd give breedin' a try. After six girls this week, I'm tuckered out." Carlo sauntered toward the shower stalls, tossing his hat and headphones to his brother before turning to face him. "Dad will be here in a minute, just wait here." With that, he walked into the stall, and Rocco could hear the water starting to flow. He fell backward onto the bench, awestruck. Turning to the bag, Rocco imagined vials and vials of steroids and testosterone hiding within. It was the only logical explanation. Taking a deep breath, he slowly unzipped the bag, and ripped the top open to reveal:

Nothing. Carlos' normal street clothes, albeit a bit stretched out now, and an empty shaker bottle. No drugs, no syringes, nothing incriminating whatsoever. Whatever had happened to him, it wasn't due to roid rage.

"NNNNUGUUHHHH" Carlo's voice echoed in the empty locker room over the sound of the showerhead. Rocco stood up quickly, darting toward the shower stalls. Before he could ask if his brother was okay, the noises began. Wet noises- unaffiliated with the running shower. Rocco slowly crept closer, and the sounds had become clearer. Slimy schlorps and squelches combined with Carlo's moans of seeming pleasure. Was he fucking a pocket pussy? Surely not, he assumed, though in the back of his mind, the brother he'd seen was not the Carlo he knew. "uuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNAGHHHHHH!" One final moan and a rubbery slurp, and the room was silent again.

Rocco quickly rushed to the end stall, ready to rip the white curtain open, only for it to open on it's own: revealing the hulking figure of his father. The shock was palpable, as thick as the steam in the air. His father towered above him, as he always did, a massive slab of hard meat with a face. Sweat dripped from every part of his hulking body, and his face was already plastered with a surprised expression. As if he weren't expecting Rocco to see him yet.

"Dad... Is Carlo oka..." Suddenly, in the corner of his eye, he saw his brother slumped over on the shower seat, passed out under the hot streams of water: still in the shorts and running shoes he'd been wearing moments ago. His muscled body could barely bend at the waist, so his limp torso sat at a slight angle to the rest of his body. Rocco turned to his father, whose expression hadn't yet changed.

"I said I'd be there in a minute, Roc." The limber young man tried to rush to his passed out brother, only for the iron grip of his father to stop him in his tracks. "He'll be fine. He'll wake up just the way you know him, with a couple of extra pounds. Don't you worry."

"Dad, what the fuck is going on?" Rocco shouted at his father, whose brows began to furrow. The hulking man grabbed the white curtain, shutting it behind his son. Slowly the look of shock turned to one of seriousness, and a twinge of nervousness shot down Rocco's spine.

"I'm on vacation, Roc. With my boy. And now it's your turn to spend some time with your old man." Rocco took a step back, confused and anxious. "You're what, 24 now? Let me tell you something, Roc. When you hit 50, it doesn't matter if you're the sexiest god damn man alive- women just don't look at you the same. They take one look at you and see a stacked old man. They look at you like you're disgusting, Roc. I just wanted things to be the way they used to, when I was your age." Another step backward, and Rocco felt himself pinned against the wall. "It doesn't hurt. Carlo said it felt damn good. He'll wake up feelin' like a million bucks and go right back to sticking that greasy pole into some man ass. Might even be better than before. But you..." His father leaned in against the wall, the wafting stench of his BO encircling the two. "You swing both ways. So will you do your pop a favor, Roc?" Rocco swallowed his spit, as his father leaned in until they stood inches from eacother, eye to eye.

"W... What kind of favor?"

"Let me be young again. Just for a couple weeks. I'll hop back in Carlo if things get out of hand, he's already said he's good with it. Let your old man take you for a spin, show you how I used to do it back in the day. Then at the end of the month, I hop right out. Deal?" His father stuck his hand out, waiting for him to accept this insane deal. Rocco turned to his brother, slowly coming back to consciousness.

"... One week. And if you don't fuck things up, I'll think about the other two." His father smiled as Rocco shook his hand in agreement.

"Turn around, boy. And just take some deep breaths." Rocco did as he was told, slowly turning around and placing his hand onto the brown tiled wall. He could hear Carlo coming to, and hearing the wet clap of his father's hands rubbing together. "Alright, boy. It's gonna be tight, deep breath!" Rocco took a slow inhale, feeling a strange tingling sensation as he felt his father's hands on his bony shoulderblades. As he exhaled, he could feel the calloused hands slowly sink into his back. "Ohhhh, fuck." His father's gravelly bass voice growled in the cavernous room, soaring above the wet schlorps of his huge arms slowly sinking deeper into his son. Rocco watched as his father's hands appeared beneath the skin of his arms, the outline of his fingers sliding down his biceps and forearms was quickly followed by the sounds of rubbery creaks as his father's considerable muscles slid into his own. Bones cracked and skin stretched as powerful biceps and firm forearms swelled with the invasion, as his father's hands slipped into his own like two tight gloves. His meaty fingers cracked under their own volition, as his father flexed his new triceps.

"Da... Dad? Oh fuck, Roc! It's your turn now, huh, bro?" Carlo's chipper voice cut through the wet sloshing as his father stepped forward, shoving his huge sweaty feet forward into Rocco's heels, immediately swelling to fit his size 14 boats. His father's ripe foot sweat started to pour from his soles while his calves started to sink in as well. "Feels great, right? I mean look at me? Dad promised a rockin' bod, and I mean, fuck! What guy is gonna turn me down now?" Rocco continued his deep breaths, trying to ignore his brother's bizarrely normal demeanor.

"Boy, you remember what your dad taught you. Take control, and fuck hard. They'll be beggin' for that cock." As the words left his father's mouth, he thrust his groin against Rocco's rear, letting his son's skin wrap around his thick ass as he slid his beer can dick into the sheath of his boy's- quickly swelling thick and musky as his balls grew into the size of clementines.

"Roc, just wait. Dad's gonna take good care of you. We're closer than ever, right pop?" His father's hard, hairy torso sank quickly into Rocco, his back expanding as his body fully enveloped his father up to their necks. Massive, juicy pecs and washboard abs pressed against his taut skin, and sputterings of the old man's hair started to sprout across his legs, arms, and chest. Rocco looked down at his massive body, no longer under his control, inflated with his father's stature. He could feel the scratchy scruff of the old man's beard against the nape of his neck.

"Alright, boy. Let me just slide..." He felt his father's nose press against the back of his head, and as it sank in, his vision became fuzzy. "Right..." His neck bulged and stretched, his jaw clenched and sharpened. "On..." His hair grew thick and messy, his eyebrows fuller and lower. As the last of his head was swallowed by the back of Rocco's head, a final crack of his neck and a slow exhale signaled that Rocco had already sank into the recesses of his mind. Facial hair sprouted across his chiseled jawline, as he smiled his pearly white teeth. "In." His father's gravelly tone now bellowed deep from within. He pushed himself off the wall, stretching his now 6'3" body, dripping in his old man's fragrant sweat. Turning to Carlo, he raised his eyebrow.

"Alright, boy. Let's go get some ass."

---

"Yeah, this is my brother's place, we'll be alone here. Don't you worry!" Carlo led the couple into Rocco's apartment, the boyfriend ogling his juicy ass as they walked inside. "Yeah, he's in the other room. This way." Carlo smiled as he threw his arm around the duo, the woman blushing as she turned to him.

"You sure he's down for this?" Carlo only smirked as he opened the door to the bedroom, revealing 'Rocco' in all his glory, swiping through the endless supply of thirsty messages on his Taimi. The couple's jaws dropped at the very sight of him, fresh from the gym, smelling of a locker room right after a basketball tournament.

"Oh wow... Uh, Hi there... I'm Victoria and this is Ollie..." 'Rocco' barely looked up from his phone, picking up his ripe gym shoe and socks, and tossing them to Ollie.

"Sniff, boy. When you're done with that, you can do the same for my brother." The boyfriend eagerly started to huff the stinking sock, moaning in pleasure as he did. "And you..." He put his phone down onto the table, turning to Victoria with a wry smirk. "Come show daddy some love."

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Isabel Jeans (Gigi)—gigi is not a good film but I think she’s absolutely stunning as the courtesan aunt! i want her entire wardrobe and then i want her to tell me how to sniff cigars and determine which diamonds are the good ones :3

Sophia Loren (Marriage Italian Style, Houseboat)—Major Italian star, first actress to win an Oscar for a performance not in English (for Two Women (1960)) and later when Roberto Benigni won an Oscar in 1999 he jumped over the chairs towards the stage going "Sophia Sophia!!" because he was running towards Sophia Loren and said he cared more about her than the Oscar, that's the effect she had on people. She was big in the 60s already even though she gained a lot more notoriety after that. And I mean. Can we take a moment and just.

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Isabel Jeans:

Sophia Loren:

im submitting her in honor of my dad bc she was the first celebrity crush of his he ever admitted to me and my sister :) and he was right. shes so pretty

She has maxed out all her stats: beauty, elegance, sensuality, she's got it all. her mesmerizing eyes, her sensual mouth, her sharp face shape, her everything is so striking and unlike any other beauty in films. she was also voted the world most beautiful woman when she was freaking 65

OSCAR WINNER. Worked with some of the hottest leading men in Hollywood but remained faithful to her husband whom she had a loving marriage with till he died (even though Cary Grant almost tempted her once, it's complicated)

One of the most well-known sex symbols of the Golden Age of Hollywood, and unlike some unfortunate others, she seems to have been pretty well at peace with occupying that status. She made assertiveness and a tempestuous temper seem glamorous, and although she's famous for side-eying Jayne Manisfield's cleavage, honestly? She's one to talk.

Absolutely, drop-dead sexy, also a hard working, extraordinarily talented actress who didn't shy away from the less glamorous roles to gift us some gritty, memorable performances

JUST LOOK AT HER Y'ALL

Submitting this on behalf of my dad, who knows nothing of tumblr or this blog, but I remember being a kid watching Houseboat while my mom thirsted after Cary Grant, dad thirsted after Sophia Loren, and I was excited that they lived on a boat. Anyway, she's extremely beautiful and was an international star, doing a ton of movies in Italy before being recognized in the US.

Global superstar and my late grandfather's long time movie star crush and for a man as quiet as he was, and as hopelessly devoted to his wife as he was, the fact that I know that means she was EXCEPTIONAL.

Very smart and beautiful, the characters that she played (I mean those in the movies that I put in the previous question) are as strong and determined as her which I think adds to her hotness.

Big in the chest, snatched in the waist, pretty in the face 😳

Her performance in "Man of La Mancha" is just so very captivating. Dubbed as "the Italian Marilyn Monroe", she looks beautiful in any movie and at any age.

Sexy, beautiful, deep. A real star.

Forget the exotic sexpot of her Hollywood films and go back to her Italian career: sparking with Marcello Mastroianni as the woman who drives him mad and outwits all his fumbling attempts at macho posturing in their early films, and showing a tender side in their 1970s films. Sophia isn’t self-conscious about who she is or her beautiful body: she enjoys being herself and she wants us all to enjoy ourselves too.

She starred in films as a sexually emancipated persona and was one of the best known sex symbols of the time. She is a great cook and her filmography is immense.

On the misattributed quote that Sophia owed everything to spaghetti: 'Did you actually say the quote frequently attributed to you, "Everything you see I owe to spaghetti"?' "Non è vero! It's not true! It's such a silly thing. I owe it to spaghetti, no, no. Completely made up."

[blingblong55]

My Hero- Captain Price

This is based on a request:

Gn!reader, Fluff, angst, dad!Price

A mission gone wrong for all of you, Ghost has let you know it happens, soap reminded you that yes it was shit, but this one had to pass, Gaz, although frustrated, had let you know to let this one go. But the expectations you had set for yourself in this one were high, too high All the training, the notes you took during briefing, were they even enough? Price had locked himself in his office, losing himself by staring into the white wall for hours. After his little moment, he went to check on all of you.

While on his way to Gaz, he saw how Soap barked at the new soldiers. Probably making them regret signing up for the military, he thought. Gaz was out in the back of the gym. He had been kicking the wall, throwing rocks at it, just trying to exhaust his own thoughts. Ghost was in the gym. At first, he lifted weights, but he got even more frustrated with how 'weak' he was, considering that maybe it was his fault the mission had gone wrong. That afternoon and night, a punching bag had become his victim. You however had remain calm, trying to take their advice and let this one pass through you. He approached you.

And there you rested on the chair. Looking into an old magazine. Inside though, you were cursing your every move in that mission. Hating all your actions during it.

"kid?" his hand reached your shoulder. "M'fine old man, go back to your wall." you didnt dare look at him. You knew his kind eyes would get the best of you. "c'mon, I know you better than this."

You got up, walking away from him. It's not that you were upset at anything he had said. He was being kind to you after all. You rushed to your room, biting your inner lip as you tried to not let out any cry. He followed you. He knows there is more to this.

You tried to close the door, but he remained it open. "r/n, c'mon. Whats wrong?"

You couldn’t face him. Not now, not when you feel so..vulnerable. “Price,” your voice shaky, “just please leave.”

He walks in front of you, he makes you look at him. Your eyes meet his, tears start to run. He hugs you, embracing you in his arms.

You take in his scent. The cigar, cologne, gun power, all mixed in his shirt. “C’mon kid let it out.” His arms wrapped around you tightly as if you would run from him, if he held you differently. “I messed up price, the rookie is hurt.” You cried out. Tears choking your words. He shook his head. “No, its not, things happen,” he said.

“He could’ve died Price! What’s would his family think of me? That I’m just another useless piece of the government?!” You looked up at him, your vision blurry from the tears. He wiped the off, he disapprovingly shook his head. “No child of mine speaks like that about my kid, ever. Not. Ever.” He says, kisses your forehead then looks at you, “i know my other kids get off by doing all macho men stuff, but you my sweet child, you can let your own stress out like this, don't ever push it in, ever. I am right here.”

The whole night he comforted you. Telling jokes as the night went by. You heard anecdotes from his past, legends he had heard, but it was probably him doing stupid and other thinking it was cool.

That night you find a dad in him, a hero that came to you when the stress signal was on. His sweet child.

My hero, you said to the new recruits as you gave them a folktale of a man you once heard about. A captain, who had a group of soldiers he called his family, who gave hell to those that messed with him. And from the doorway he stood, his arms cross and a cigar in his mouth. Smiling at you. His little hero.

A/N: i need dad price NEOW!

[bnhxx]

I have GYAT to start writing about my best boy Carlos,,,,,members of the jury, it's time

SO MY MAN MY RESPECTFUL POOKIE 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Personal

[Edit]: okay I took the liberty to actually organise this bc it was just verbal diarrhoea ksjsksj

Also this list is NOT exhaustive bc im always thinking up more shit about this man sksgdhdbd

- Man's got game but honestly I think if you did some cute n wholesome shit he would kagsishshw. Like he would have such a GOOFY smile on his face and eat that shit up. Gifts, handmade things, compliments, letters or little sticky notes you leave for him, it really bolsters his confidence. Not that he needs it, but it feels special and makes him warm and fuzzy inside.

-Whether you're always like that or it's a sometimes thing he's gonna tease you though.

"Aww, ya big softie,"

-like he's spent majority of his life in militias and such, he's not used to softness. Apart from the softness and protectiveness he showed his little brothers, and the softness that was shown to him by his mother-which was fleeting at best considering most memories of his childhood would be filled with the thievery he'd resort to to keep his family alive. Hes never really been encouraged to show it, either way-its seen as a weakness.

-and it's not to say Carlos is suffering from good old toxic masculinity, he holds sm respect for Jill and yes she leans into the more hardass fem cop role to protect herself and yes he also STILL flirts w her but tbh the fact that he's respectful and let's her brush him off without getting mad, that's still a big step imo

-bc he's literally been around those types of people for most to all his life. Raised by a militia, basically, and toxic masculinity is so rampant there simply because it's a good coping mechanism for having to fight and kill ppl all the time? Just, switch off those emotions. Don't feel bc you might go absolutely insane with the guilt if you do.

-so yeah, Carlos, though he certainly doesn't seem to be in the chokehold of toxic masculinity, he's still very much affected by it.

-But I think he'd lean on those around him in his journey to healing that sort of fight flight mode, all day, every day, macho man w a cigar hanging out of his mouth type persona.

- He's very much a, if I didn't have the people around me to support me, I wouldn't have gotten this far type of person. And he'll do the inner work if it means becoming a better version of himself.

-like my man's saw Umbrella and was like yeah nah fuck that

-and that takes GUTS. Tyrell really was right when he called Carlos a balsy such and such he has courage for days. So in conclusion he definitely would have the courage to go and heal for himself and others. 100%.

-Definitely takes me as the gym bro to make friends with everyone at the gym. He's there to shred and sometimes he's a little show off but hey, he worked for his gains why not show em off y'know?

- He'll also be the first to rope some asshole in if they're making someone uncomfortable. He likes going to the gym and he'd hate for it to become a place with a bad vibe, not on his watch!! So if he's in the gym is just chill vibes

-theres these dudes on tiktok that are gymbros but they're constantly playfully flirting or making dirty jokes w each other that's Carlos lol.

-I think Carlos would also like hiking. He wouldn't mind camping, so long as he's got a good group to go with-(that usually makes or breaks the camping trip imo) but he prefers to take a hike. The views are worth the pain, he says, trust me!

(You'll believe him when you get back to the picnic sites and he brings out the lunch he had prepped bc you wouldn't go without it jabsjshsjs)

"You're food is what's worth the pain, not the view, Carlos," (he would call you a gremlin for this but it's worth it to see his silly smile)

-Also, cooking!!! Carlos LOVES cooking it's canon. He prefers cooking for people because being able to see his friends or s.o's face when they try his food makes all the hard work worth it. He also gets to spend time with everyone which is a bonus! So if you're friends or dating, expect big dinner parties. As rowdy as they can be they're actually quite chill once everyone's had some of Carlos' special in their belly (we all rubbing our tummies like 🤰🤰🤰 after that food baby kahsisbsj)

Ideal type.

-ON that, he's very family oriented. Because of his upbringing and how he was raised to his personality, but yeah-man's had to fight for his family from day 1 p much. So big protective older brother vibes here. He'd definitely make a good dad!

-I can only see him as a military man bc of his upbringing 😭 but this man is DEF having a reflective moment at the end of RE:3 like while Jill's freaking out bc bye bye Racoon City and trauma he's like,,,okay idk if this life is the one I wanna LIVE so I think he dabbles his toes in a bunch of odd jobs here and there while he's in hiding, post RE:3.

-Like he learnt a LOT of employable skills from the military and he'd definitely go up the ranks but he??? Doesn't know what he really LOVES to do so??? He tries a lot of things tbh.

-In saying that his social circle is WILD. Like I'm talking he picks up a random person off the street, brings them to a party with some of his work colleagues and old workmates from his other job and everyone's Like WHAT do we all have in common 💀

-you know big silly man and you're all gonna love his cooking that's what!!

-he is a silly goofy guy he loves to joke around, but not at the expense of others!! So, he's actually got a lot of friends. They type of person that had loads of friends but only a couple of really close ones ngl.

- Also likes to make mundane things fun by inviting his friends. He's the type to call his friend up like, let's go grocery shopping together bc I hate doing this alone 💔

-and it's a two in one bc his friend is there!!

- I think his ideal type is someone whose not afraid to stand up for what's right. Assertive and forthright are bonuses, but at the end of the day he seeks someone whose moral compass aligned them with the good of people, or someone who cares about community, and others. Someone who, if they see something wrong, won't just look the other way.

-assertiveness and forthright is hot asf in a woman and he loves to see it!! (You and me both brother whew 🥴)

-I think also he comes from a background that's very community centered? So the whole individualistic culture of America and Western cultures would be a bit,,,strange. He'd at least want someone who is willing to have a community mindset bc he just wouldn't vibe too well w someone like that in the long run 🤧 Like it's not like he hates it but how??? Are you alive??? You live like this bro??? Y'all Western countries good????

- deal breakers for him are family, blatant assholes lmao, cheating, and gamblers.

-Hes pretty goofy too underneath it all so he'd want someone who he can be silly with. Someone who won't judge on that, who even plays along with him. He'd adore someone who he can just be silly with. My silly big guy.

-like PLEASE at least crack a smile at his jokes he would low-key take it personally if you didn't laugh or crack a smile when he's joking around or being silly (he would take it VERY personally but he'd stay chill on the outside lmao)

- he plays around a bit after RE:3 bc man's 21, like, what did you expect. But he's also upfront about what he expects from the relationship and expects them to be, too!

- I think he'd be the type to get jealous, if his s/o had a different life than his. Like, white picket fence, smart (this I'd big bc nowhere in Carlos' backstory does it say he had a formal education past military training 🥲), homebody type. Like, he feels almost out of place in their life. Like a stray they picked up off the road, and he needs reassurance that your not just there for his looks and his yummy beefy arms (but yes, he admits they're a plus)

-So someone who's in tune with their and others emotions would be great for him! An attentive s/o who isn't afraid to call out his jealousy (gently) and lovingly remind him that he's the only one they want. ESPECIALLY if it's looking like a long term relo!

-also he'd want someone who shares some hobbies bc he loves doing things w ppl he loves! So if you're not a nature person then honey, you got a big storm coming.

-also I think he'd give it a pass if you has opposite hobbies but you love learning about his ‼️‼️ like when he comes home from his camping trip his s/o is like, so, how was it? Or they're sharing him little camping tips and tricks online or cooking recipes, just show they're interested and talk about his hobbies even if they aren't into them. He'd love this just as much ‼️

-I actually think he'd do really well adopting kids too, because, if he can give a kid a better life?? Tbh just pitch it like that his whole 'for the blood of my family name' would go down p quick bc if he could save a kid from living a childhood he had to he would no light reaction ‼️

- family, because he wants to have a family of his own. He wants to have his own blood if he can which is strange my guy but I respect that. Sort of in a more traditional sense of like I survived and now my family will live a better life type mentality, keep the family tree going y'know?

- If his partner could not/does not want to have kids though I think he would try other forms like surrogacy or ivf or even adoption, because if he found someone he really loved at the end of the day a family isn't simply determined by blood. It might take him a while to get on board with tho but stand on business he'll wrap his head around it eventually.

-again, sort of going off the point earlier but just shitty or selfish people is a no go. Like not caring for others to the point of blatantly putting others at risk to get what you want, not feeling bad about it at all? that's a no no. Obvious reasons here, he fought against impossible odds to put the middle finger up to Umbrella for what they did soo what did you expect?

-cheating, because honesty is key. Cheating is pretty unanimous but like, Carlos is the type to not forgive that. Ever. How could you cheat on the baby boy like he's been through ENOUGH YOUR HONOUR 😭😭😭

-kind of unrelated but I have his dbd voice line of "You're gonna be okay, I promise," in my mind at all times of every day kahsjek

-gambling, because it's such a throw away of large amounts of money. It just doesn't seem right to Carlos. Addiction is hard to break, he gets it, but particularly in large amounts-gambling is just lowkey disturbing to him. He grew up poor so could not be him betting the chance to eat on huge amounts of money. Like he's desperate but he thinks gambling is a scam. Bc it is kshsidjd.

-ALSO there was this tiktok comment on how he paces infront of his s/o's house with flowers to hype himself up and ‼️ yes ‼️ he would so do this it makes me wanna cry thinking about it.

Misc.

-LIKE I could be in the clutches of the ENITITYS realm and still feel good bc Carlos is there, he may move like a turtle in dbd but my man's moving mountains keeping the team together give him a pass ‼️

-everyone saying bring Carlos back to re, capcom you left us in a cold, cruel, Carlos-less world, but, BUT....let's just imagine for a moment my man finally found peace after re3 and is just on a beach sipping mimosas. He deserves this he's spent his whole 21 years of his life fighting, give him peace I beg!

-let's live in the delulu that my man's finally got a break from all that shit 🤱

- I want him to just RelAx, take a load off, sit back and enjoy the sunshine after everything bc 😭😭😭

[metanoianmayhem]

Reading an article with the earliest mention of Cigar Play (from 1978) in the Leather crowd and i *cannot* imagine the "kink is icky if you have x, y and z fetishes" being ok with this but.

God, what history. What boldly, unapologetically queer behavior. Leathermen took me. Leather people taught me how to drink scotch, light a cigar, tend someone's boots, lovingly restore any Leather items.

I restored a thrifted, crumbling jacket for a now ex partner once. They still wear it.

I regularly tend my friends Sandlar boots. Have a white bullwhip. For me, this type of act of service is pure unadulterated love mixed with my most deviant feelings.

For me, I'll lick the boot, have the cigar ashed on my tongue and make my eyeliner run.

I love my Leather family and deviants. And I love the community for being weird and freaks. For talking about the gross, dirty parts of sex and being into it.

For some history. CW: Blood, as5play, cigars, macho man shit, rape mention

Link here

[3416]

ok. who the hell is joe rogan?? i think i heard him in passing but im not north american so i didnt really care all that much

JFLKDSFJKLDS he's a podcaster (former reality tv show host/actor other nonsense with ufc), and his podcast happens to be one of the biggest in north america, lol. he kinda represents like monkey brained macho man who has ... very little actual knowledge and buys into conspiracies very easily, and the past 8 years or so has really been known for platforming people with INSANE opinions on political topics and current events. he's very influential just because so many people watch/listen to his shit, but as soon as someone says they're an avid listener of him........... you should be wary, lol. i've definitely HEARD and listened to his stuff myself just to form opinions, and i do feel like he used to be more innocuous than he is now... ever since the trump election, it's just been a shitshow of right wing nonsense and braindead takes from people who "know how to admit they're wrong" but also could be fact checked every 5 seconds if they cared about accurately presenting any information. it's like a shitty brainstorm session with men who are high sitting around smoking cigars and trying to solve the worlds problems with the least amount of intellect you've ever seen.

[runthepockets]

The way teen boys express masculinity feels so much more organic than the way adult men do it. And I don't mean this in a self infantilizing way or to imply adult men are fundamentally flawed. or whatever, but...

I look at old pictures of guys in their teens - mid 20s in the 2000s and they're all just. Shirtless playing Guitar Hero, or making stupid faces and goofy fake macho poses in Speedos, or making guns out of Monster cans, or surrounded by mountains of beer cans, or lifting their girlfriends over their shoulders, or some other fun silly shit. And that just resonates with me. The other day I found a myanimelist group dedicated to talking about "REAL MANLY THINGS THAT REAL MEN LIKE" and the list was everything from giant mech fights to screaming to random clips of grumpy old men talking about eating bacon and drinking beer for every meal. And it was funny and charming but it also genuinely resonated with me. Like I played Mortal Kombat and watched Gurren Lagann and played cowboys and soldiers outside with my friends as a kid, so a lot of my masculinity is derived from hammy fictional stuff and I don't think that's ever really gonna go away. Like these kids know how to have fun as well as embracing their masculine spirit.

Comparatively, I look at similar shit for adult men and it's just....so desolate and lame and wilted in comparison. Wear jeans that fit properly, wear solid colors, no stripes or cool graphic designs or bright colors or anything. Chest hair and patchy facial hair are considered tacky rather than a testament to rugged, organic manliness, hyper groom. No more ninjas or pirates or cowboys or samurai, no more passionate and open appreciation when a woman likes you enough to let you see her naked body, trade your muscle car / motorcycle in favor of a normie domestic suburban life. Like what the hell, man. No wonder we're all so goddamn miserable, we're sacrificing the legitimate versions of ourselves that we spent so long cultivating in our youths and just tossed them in the trash. I understand some of the novelty of this stuff wearing off over time, and don't get me wrong I like cigars and R&B and wearing suits and more "adult" stuff too, but I don't think I should just have to navigate masculinity with one or the other, I don't think having fun and maintaining a perpetual air of youthfulness should be considered immature or weird in any capacity, I think it's absolutely vital.

[veryboss]

I think Dad is starting to suspect that I get in trouble on purpose. Every time he makes me strip naked and get over his knee for a beating, I get rock hard. And I can feel Dad's stiff pole through his jeans. The sting of Dad's thick belt on my flesh is very erotic. The smell of his cigar smoke as he punishes me makes my cock leak. I long to suck his cock.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello hello! I would love a matchup!

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? - Playing with Bad Luck by Set it Off ... Its a kinda day/ its a kinda week/ Its a kinda year/ When you cut and paste/ When you're on your knees/ When you're out of tears (damn)/ examine every scar. i'm auditing my karma/ something just ain't adding up/ it's close, but no cigar/ i'm dancing in the dark cause/ every light keeps shutting off/ i'm playing with bad luck

What is your Enneagram type? - I'm an 8w7! also an ISFJ personality type

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.- I created a lot of stories and characters as a kid, most of them were knights or huge creatures

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? - I usually have a cup of tea and sit with my dog. On nights where I can't get my brain to shut up I'll play audiobooks/redacted sleep aid lol

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? - Okay but something about the comfort/ reverse comfort audios hit a place in my heart I didn't think was in me. Like, I get why I like the healing audio cause the listener is getting doted on, and that's cute. (No matter how many times I listen to Gavin's comfort audios I will sob every time) But when I listen to a reverse comfort, it makes me love a character even more. Like the fact that they trust their listener (i.e., David breaking down, Gavin giving bits and pieces of his past to freelancer/ breaking down in the inversion, Milo injured, etc), makes my heart swell.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) - Okay, the character is made for the audience to not really like them, but Marcus (Project Meridian) sets a wave of anger in me I could never begin to explain like the manipulation tactics and gaslighting make me want to murder someone, BUT SOMEHOW IM LIKE "Oh I like Vega" which don't get me wrong also hate Vega at times but the way he acts with warden makes me love him

Tell me about that one book/movie/TV show you know all the words to. - does Redacted count "just gotta say ding dong the witch is dead fucking goes off and you better promise to play that at my funeral ALSO unrelated macho man unironically fucking goes off AND YOU KNOW WHAT actually IT IS related because you absolutely need to promise to play that at my funeral too back to back Macho man immediately followed by ding dong the witch is dead what do you say?" .... don't ask BUT IF NOT I also know pirates of the caribbean, the Grinch (live action), Mitchells vs the machines, Monty Python and the holy grail, too name a few

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? - OH MY GOD CAN VINCENT BE MY BESTIE (obvi also love ash and guy but let me explain) Okay vincent is one of those guys who's sarcasm is top notch like homie could roast anyone without a second to waste. Also I feel like I could literally sit in silence with Vincent and it not feel awkward yknow

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) okay, I will ramble about history like there is no tomorrow. for example, did you know that Constantine the Great considered himself such a great Christian that he called himself the "13th Apostle" on his tomb (which very few people have been able to see because you have to be closely enough related to him to enter) he didn't write his name on his coffin instead it says 13th apostle also he put the remains of the other apostles in his tomb because "he deserved it" ......anywayssss

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. - flaming hot Cheetos and a sprite reset my life in a way that makes me want to achieve my dreams

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. - The Balance, its so beautifully made, starting with a close experience to death, to cult antics, to AN UNEXPECTED CROSSOVER. its just made sooooooooooooo well

What’s your guilty pleasure in media, and why? - Okay cringy middle school emo/ animatic music from my past is engrained into my brain

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! - i'm 5'2 and the youngest of a big family. I'm an artist and currently working on an illustration degree. I love love love voice acting. Thats about it! THANKS

You gave me so much to work with here, and yet it was a challenge. Like, I could have gone in so many directions. I think you could work so well with so many of the boys, but ultimately, it had to be Asher.

Your submission gives me the vibe of someone who’s loyal, unique, and confident, who knows what they’re about and always has something interesting to say even if you’re not particularly extroverted. I like the idea of pairing Asher with you because he would perfectly uplift you, pulling you out of your shell and giving you the stage to shine while also knowing when to take the reins and support you, in your education, social situations, whenever.

Your life would be so genuinely fun together- not just because Asher’s so fun as a dude but because y’all have so much in common. You two would have the same taste in music (that FOB fan boy) and pop culture. You’d be the tea drinker to his Monster Energy vibes, the perfect balance in the house to feed his bubbly nature but also ground him. Also, Asher should totally have a dog he can play with, so it’s even more perfect.

Song:

If you don't swim, you'll drown/ But don't move, honey/ You look so perfect standing there/ In my American Apparel underwear/ And I know now, that I'm so down/ Your lipstick stain is a work of arts I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart/ And I know now, that I'm so down

5SOS seems like just the sort of group y’all and Asher would like now, the group that was pop-punk adjacent and has evolved with its audience. This track in particular is a classic, and I can see Asher totally jamming out to this in the car, air-guitaring at red lights, and demanding applause from you when he’s done (which you’d give because he’s just that cute).

Runner-Ups:

Like I said, there were so many boys that could have been matched with you, so there were also too many options for runner-ups! I settled on Anton because he’d be so cute with a tea-drinking dog lover. He deserves a puppy and a partner who makes them a pot to share. I also like you with Guy because an artist and writer couple is just too cute to pass up.

note: thank you for waiting 🖤

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[walaw717]

Americans love to build things up, almost as much as they enjoy tearing down what they have built, and Hemingway was no exception. As notions of masculinity changed, Hemingway’s brand of manhood became increasingly passé. Worse, it became associated with forms of macho aggressiveness, insensitivity, and violence. The Hemingway who believed in older codes of romantic love became the sexist Hemingway whose women were either goddesses or bitches; the Hemingway who wrote so unflinchingly of the horrors of war became the warmongering Hemingway; and the Hemingway who hunted, fished, and loved the bullfights became the poster boy of the National Rifle Association and the worst nightmare of the eco-conscious. Removed from his historical context, he turned grotesque in the eyes of many academic intellectuals who had come of age during the feminist movement, Vietnam, and the green movement.

This new image was amply buttressed by misreadings of his works. Critics rarely conflate Edith Wharton with Undine Sprague, Faulkner with Thomas Sutpen, or Vladimir Nabokov with Humbert Humbert. But Hemingway became the oppressive male figures of “Cat in the Rain” and “Hills Like White Elephants,” the callous hunter of “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber,” and the self-absorbed Harry of “The Snows of Kilimanjaro.” Brett Ashley of The Sun Also Rises became a hedonistic ur-bitch instead of what she actually was—the most sexually liberated woman character in 1920s fiction. Catherine Barkley, the real hero and moral center of A Farewell to Arms, and the victimized Maria of For Whom the Bell Tolls were dismissed as merely insipid male fantasy figures. To many non-Hemingway critics, the author of these texts was but a caricature who represented much of what was most pernicious in the unrevised canon: the physically imposing, bullying, bearded, cigar-smoking, misogynist, racist, sexist, homophobic, antisemitic, white man who hunts, fights, fishes, and fornicates—and, what is worse, writes endlessly about it. Is it any wonder, then, that when Lawrence Buell suggested Hemingway be dismissed from the canon, he didn’t think it necessary to argue the point?

Hemingway will always have his detractors, but increasingly balanced perspectives are prevailing. As many self-appointed canon busters must surely by now realize, it’s hard to extirpate a writer whose work inspires so many readers around the world and who plays such a large role in the development of other authors. It’s also hard to reconcile ideological predispositions to dismiss the fiction with the experience of actually reading and responding to that fiction.3 And it’s difficult for a conflation of Hemingway with his characters to stand the test of time when major canonical authors—from Faulkner and Ellison to García Márquez and Morrison—continue to rise so eloquently to his defense.

Asserting an important principle for all literary critics to heed, Morrison cautions against judging “the quality of a work based on the attitudes of an author or whatever representations are made of some group” and specifically states that it “would be irresponsible and unjustified to invest Hemingway with the thoughts of his characters.” This does not mean, of course, that Morrison advocates giving Hemingway, or any author, a free pass. Hers is merely a call for fair, informed, and intelligent criticism. After all, she makes the above statements while exploring how the Africanist presence influences the form and content of one of Hemingway’s novels. But in that critique, she is quick to point out that “there is no evidence I know of to persuade me that Hemingway shared [the racist views of one of his characters]. In point of fact, there is strong evidence to suggest the opposite”

Lamb, Robert Paul. Art Matters: Hemingway, Craft, and the Creation of the Modern Short Story (Southern Literary Studies) (pp. 9-11). LSU Press. Kindle Edition.

[blushingphoenix]

Am I the only one who sees Logan/Wolverine as nothing more than a beloved 1970s macho man stereotype that was given a chance to grow beyond that?

Logan came onto the scene as a burly, hirsute loudmouth that smoked cigars. He took what he wanted and didn’t respect other people’s romance relationships when HE wanted the woman. And fans LOVED Logan for this.

 In the 1980s and 1990s, he was given Kitty Pryde and Jubilation Lee as sidekicks to soften his image. To show this model of manliness can be more approachable & fatherly.

 In the 1990s with the wedding of Jean and Scott, Logan admitted Jean and Scot were meant for each other. Something Grant Morrison also had Logan say to Jean during his run on New X-Men. This is when Logan decided to grow past taking what he wants.

[aestheticvoyage2024]

Day 273c: Sunday September 29, 2024 - "Coney Dog Day"

When in KC, its always Arthur Bryants, and when in Bellingham its the Oysters. St Louis has their Imos, and Milwaukee has its wine- but when in Detroit, for me, its not any deep crust and pepperonis - (though I am pretty equal opportunity on pie no matter where I am). for me, its the coney dogs. The finer things in life enjoyed by a city with Grit and today I took the "over" on Dave's odds on 4.5 coneys; I mean the guy is wearing a shirt that said "stay loose and sexy" - he could easily do 12 of these, extra mustard! Thats a baseball dude right there and one of my very favorites. He started the day off right, assisted with fork and knife to try and see if such a gritty plate could be eaten sophisticatedly. Breakfast at Leo's Coney Island in the Burbs Baby. - we're like Bourdain meets Guy, with life (or at least digestive track) hitting the fast lane in Motor City. Genius move Dave. Well played.

A fitting encore would be found from National Coney in Comerica, enjoyed with mustard beside the Tigers Carousel. "Could you imagine this place lit up at a night game in late October?" Primetime hopes and dreams found in that "coney sauce" - yea, yea, because when a town is down, the artists move in, and this my friend is art.... Its in the 'Snap' - just dont put any mustard on it. It already has everything it needs in the sauce. read: I am allergic to mustard, but enjoy chili on a koegels vienna like we're in the backroom of Silers learning what its like to eat like a man. This is Macho food. I explain, as we visit the Joe Louis fist, that Detroit has always represented toughness for me. I grew up on Bill Laimbeer, and Darren McCarty. If Clubber Lang ever embodied a city and its charm, it would look and smell and taste, a lot like Detroit. And that is my kind of town, in my DNA. - it romances me up under my blue collar, and here we are with a baseball team to match. Coney Dogs and Tigers Baseball. I was glad to help wire that in for Dave on his new ballpark day here in my home park....and it made me really want to do the same with him in Philly next year. The Finer things, the important things, the important places.

Later - after we'd blown the afternoon and evening in some deep getting-to-know-you conversation over long drawn out cigars, with some of the cooler cats in the D (I mean seriously, there were some dudes in here watching the NFL game - chains, well dressed, dudes - out of our league, exactly what you'd want from down here in the D - what an awesome idea Dave had!), we meandered our way to Lafeyette St and the beating-coney-heart of Motown. We reveled in the last Coney order of the day and finding Lafeyette open after it got so late on us on a Sunday night. "Soon we'll be asleep, lets live while we're awake!" Took our seat at the community table where we all learned through broken english that the open face burger was indeed a Coney with ground beef - brilliant!! Dave had covered the spread! Dad and I put down 2 more coneys of our own bringing our own totals to 4 for the day, and the total for the weekend to be more than enough. "Stay Loose and Sexy" I imagined advising my butt tomorrow morning. It was worth all of it. My only regret will be not eating one for breakfast like my good friend Dave - what a Champion!

I really enjoyed going back to Detroit and staying downtown - really grateful that Dave helped pull that together and wingman along with me. That Dad stayed and came along. I had a really great day - and baseball ended up being the least of it. So many stories, continuing to go down on pages yet to be imagined and I am blessed to have good ones to tell my stories with.

Dave would say he was here eating coneys today because he lost a bet. The way I'll always tell it, is that it was because he made the bet. Its all because we made the bet. I love that and the way the world works.

I understand now.

Song: Kenny Chesney - Back Where I Come From

Quote:

"Every time I visit Detroit, somebody asks me if I've had a good Coney yet.

Apparently, I never had a great one.

I finally got one.

I understand now."

~Anthony Bourdain

[qualitycigarboxes]

A wise man once said "A box can be many things. A gift, a treasure chest, a toolbox. But most of all, it is endless possibilities. You can quote me on that."

@ebay

[rabbitt1]

i've always wanted to be a macho man smoking a cigar so the macho men who smoke cigars would leave me alone, anyways it does not work