#macgyver scenario

[paperxcrowns]

oh i don't think i've told you guys about the time loop fic i've been cooking up :)

tw blood and mcd (temporary but mac doesn't know that ;) yet )

Mac’s hands are red with blood. It’s everywhere and there is so much of it. It pools around him, the puddle growing, spreading. He can’t staunch the flow from where it stems. A tiny little hole aimed for the heart. A heart that stopped beating moments ago.

The blood no longer comes in spurts to match the frantic rhythm of a racing heartbeat. It just drains out of the body in front of Mac.

Jack’s body, his numb brain reminds him.

It loops around endlessly, a record on a turntable. Jack’s dead, Jack’s dead, Jack’s dead.

Jack’s dead because Mac’s plan failed. Jack’s dead because of him.

[aceofwhump]

Hey Ace! I am looking for specific examples of whump and I was wondering if you knew any. I just watched a movie called October Gale where a stranger was shot and in danger and a woman had to help him and protect him from the guys trying to kill him. Any scenario where a woman has to protect a man who is hurt or unable to protect himself. Bonus if they are strangers.

Thanks!

Hi nonny!!! OOOh yes. Yes I can help you here. I love that trope/plot so much. There's some good movies with it.

The Outsider (2002)

Witness (1985)

The Angel and the Badman

The Bourne Identity

MacGyver 1x17 "To Be A Man"

The Beguiled (2017)

Civil Love

Silent Night (2002)

[disappearinginq]

I really wish I could be convinced that more people would be interested in non-ship stuff for fandoms I'm in.

Look, we all know we write for ourselves. I get it. I do. But my desire (ability) to finish things is hinged on feedback. My two longest fics that I wrote the fastest were because of audience engagement. And because I knew I had people I respected and liked reading, and I wanted them to enjoy the read, I wrote better.

Now I feel like I'm just stuck in No Man's Land of fandom, and while I have like a dozen things half finished, they never seem to actually BE finished because if the audience is me, then I know how it ends. There's not much point writing it down.

So this is basically my To Do List.

The Rookie - I just don't care about what 90% of the fandom cares about

1. Series of one shots that establish Angela and Tim's BFF status that may or may not lean Tim aspec because I'm me.

2. Pre series flashbacks to Tim in his time in service when he survives an airstrike that kills two of his friends and almost kills him.

3. Trauma Tim post season 6, because in rapid succession, he loses his job on metro, he witnesses his old team die in a way eerily similar to the way he was almost killed in the airstrike, had a friend commit suicide in front of him after confessing to being dirty, gets accused of being dirty himself, and is again almost killed in close quarter combat (among other things that will remain unmentioned here)

Slow Horses

1. Do not ask me why but I love the idea that Lamb potentially met River was he was a kid because he had to work closely with David Cartwright and River is always where he's not supposed to be

2. River goes missing, and for once, not his fault. Lamb has to come to terms that just because he pretends not to care, doesn't mean anyone buys it

3. Post season 4, somebody finds out that River is the last remaining son of Frank's assassin cult, and it goes about as well as can be expected. I fully intend to have Lamb use this line: "trying to detain you is like trying to nail jello to a tree".

Magnum PI (yes, I still work on these)

1. Finish Wrong Side. I actually have like another 10-15k words on it, but it's not in order or complete scenes, but it does include Thomas’s recovery and discovery that Hannah is the one who sold them out

2. I have like 6 other chapters to Bad Things Happen that I half wrote but then retired the card

3. Crossover with MacGyver because I thought Mac could use some down time in Hawaii after season 4 and the last half of season 3

Tracker 1. Colter goes missing during one of his cases, and I borrow heavily from an episode of Lethal Weapon wherein Colter will be held hostage in an illegal drug trial that he stumbled into and now finds himself an unwilling participant, and I drag Russell into it because that is how big brothers work

Hudson & Rex - honestly, I have the most written for this fandom, even though the fandom itself is pretty quiet, but it's most of a bingo card 1. Finish Oh The Weather Outside is Frightful because damn son it's been years

2. In no particular order, I have Bad Things Happen Bingo It's Not My Blood, Stitches, Caught in a Snare, Falls Through the Ice and three others that fit other prompts - a boating accident, Charlie finally finds himself at the bottom of a well (sort of) and completes his "Timmy and Lassie Scenario" bingo card, and where Charlie realizes he's developed claustrophobia after having a mine collapse on him, being locked in a freezer storage, almost crushed by a shipping container, buried alive, etc and gets stuck in an elevator with Jesse

[thoughts-and-gayers]

having watched unmortricken like 10 times at this point, i think i can pretty confidently predict that the writers are keying up a jealousy arc with evil morty's future appearance(s) in the show.

throughout the whole episode, they make a point to show off evil morty's competency in helping rick. not that he's particularly interested in helping rick, but he gets shit done.

here, when evil morty tells rick to change something, and they actually find a different prime.

...and then morty wants to be helpful, too, killing the clone and triggering the saw ride thing.

here, rick is bothering to explain himself to evil morty.

...and moments later, morty is telling rick to "take the shot."

this scene, where evil morty and rick fight in perfect sync.

and here, where evil morty and rick work on the portal guns together, look at morty's expression! he's incredulous!

...and he lashes out at evil morty in the very next scene!

but, having watched unmortricken like 10 times at this point, i think i can also pretty confidently predict the way this upcoming jealousy arc will end.

because here, when theyre facing the diane-bot, a representation of rick's trauma, morty is the one to push rick out of the way.

and after the battle with prime, who's the one still standing by rick at the end?

it's morty.

it doesnt matter how good of a sidekick evil morty seems like he would be for rick. because morty is the one that cares. morty is the one that sticks by him.

and so, when the writers macgyver together some scenario where rick and evil morty have to team up again, and morty lashes out because he thinks evil morty would be a better partner in crime for rick?

well, rick will just have to make it clear that morty is the one he wants to stick by him, and that the way morty helps him is infinitely more valuable than the way evil morty could.

[motleyfam]

wait omg this is such a random question so absolutely do not worry about answering, but what are your top three favorite hurt/comfort scenarios?

1. Appendicitis. It’s the quintessential hurt/comfort scenario. You’ve got the slow build up, the initial self dismissal/downplaying of symptoms, the feverish misery, the ever increasing pain, the “oh shit he’s really sick” moment when the situation inevitably goes downhill, the second round of downplaying when they try to claim it’s probably just a bug, all leading up to the realization that this Officially An Emergency and then the panic and the surgery and the recovery and—

Look, it just ticks so many boxes in a predictable-but-still-customizable package and I’m a total sucker for it.

2. Emotions other than sadness becoming so intense that they lead to tears (exhaustion, frustration, anger, overwhelm, etc)

3. Getting stranded somewhere while also sick/injured and having to MacGyver solutions

[a-sin-to-be-rin]

Murdoc + Bazooka

Mac wakes up with a runny nose, a dry mouth, and someone’s boot in his side.

“Oh. So you are alive. I thought I’d killed you for sure.”

Despite everything, this is possibly the worst case scenario. The middle of nowhere. Injured. Alone- well, actually, he’s not alone. God, Mac wishes he was. After all, it’s much easier to survive when Murdoc isn’t pointing a gun in your face.

---

“Damn. You’d think it'd be easier to find a pharmacy around here. Where are we? Do they have pharmacies?”

Mac lifts his head from the cool glass of the car window. “We're in Vermont,” he mutters, kneading his forehead with his knuckles. “Of course they have pharmacies.”

“Yeah, tell that to Google Maps,” Jack gripes, tossing his phone Mac’s way.

“You don't have reception. Google Maps thinks we've fallen off the face of the Earth.”

Jack groans. “We’ve been driving through the woods for ages. This is like, the perfect place for a serial killer to hide out.”

“We’re still pretty far out from the nearest city,” Mac says regretfully. “Just keep going.”

“Only you would get a cold after the mission is done. Why can't you be a normal person and get it before the mission? Then you can't go on the mission, which means I can't go on the mission. I would kill for a break, Mac.”

But Mac doesn't have the energy to argue. He waves Jack off, slumping against the window again.

“You better be grateful.” True to form, Jack continues the argument alone. “Nobody else on this team would drive your sick ass through serial killer woods to get you cough drops. I want you to remember this when you're picking out my birthday present-”

BAM!

There's fire. The Jeep rolls. Glass shatters everywhere, metal bending and screeching.

And then, there's nothing at all.

---

The world is hazy when Mac opens his eyes. Frost coats the frozen earth and tinges the underbrush. Cold, dry air fills his lungs and a wheeze escapes them.

“Oh. So you are alive.”

“What-?”

Dirt, too dry to be mud, but only barely, presses into the side of his face and brushes his ear. He tries to lift his head, but the effort it takes only makes his face plant that much harder when his head drops again.

“It’s okay,” the voice says. “It’s just me.”

Mac can’t place the voice. It’s familiar. Chillingly familiar. It makes Mac’s stomach clench. But he can’t recall why.

“I’ll be honest,” the voice continues. “At first, I really thought I killed you. I mean, you weren’t moving, and head wounds just bleed so damn much. You know how it is.” Footsteps circle around Mac, light and even.

Even surface distribution, Mac notes. Large surface area. Men’s size 10, maybe 11. Wide foot. And the dissonance from the toe means it’s a stiff shoe. Either new or rarely used.

And then a pair of black dress shoes, far too shiny for a dirt trail in the middle of the woods, steps into view. Mac rolls onto his back, shoulders and leg and head aching from the movement, and finds himself staring down the barrel of a hunting rifle.

“Stay right there, MacGyver,” the voice coos, and Mac doesn’t need to look past the gun to know who’s holding it.

“Murdoc.”

“Oh, good. I didn’t shake your brain up too bad then. That bazooka can be a real doozy on the noggin.”

Bazooka?

“What did you-? Why are you-?”

“Ah, ah.” Murdoc tuts reproachfully. He squats down, slinging the rifle onto his pack and aiming a pistol at Mac’s forehead. “I know your mind is inquisitive to its own detriment, but you’ll need to have a bit of patience today.”

Mac groans, wincing against a killer headache. He can’t be sure if it’s from the car crash or his cold. Or maybe it’s both.

“You're a tough man to track down, MacGyver,” Murdoc says, standing again and planting his boot on Mac’s chest, gun still at the ready. “Fortunately for me, I have this nifty little program. Lets me know any time the Phoenix assigns a case to one Angus MacGyver. And since you were in the remote edges of Vermont and I was in the remote edges of Vermont, I figured I’d stop by. Say hello.”

For a moment, Mac drowns out Murdoc, trying to assess his situation.

In the middle of the woods. Trees. Maple, birch, spruce, pine. Northeast US, maybe still Vermont, though all bets are off with Murdoc.

On his back. Hands bound. Rope and duct tape. Feet are free.

Injuries. Head wound, concussion probable. Arms are okay. Pain and swelling in his left leg. Suspected femur fracture. Right leg is normal. And something about the abdomen. Something’s wrong…

Wait. Where’s-

Mac coughs, trying and failing to push Murdoc’s foot off. “Where's Jack?”

“Hm… Jack? I don't know if we've met.”

“You-” Mac coughs again, this time succeeding to push Murdoc away. He sits up slowly, head pounding. “You blew him up.”

“Ugh, Mac, you know you need to be more specific. I’ve blown up so many people that they've started to blend together.”

“He was in the car with me,” Mac growls. “Where is he?”

“I imagine he's still in the car.” Murdoc studies his nails, gun still trained on Mac.

Mac swallows hard. Jack must have survived. There's no alternative.

“Oh, don’t look so sad, MacGyver! Come on! I’ve got some fun things planned today, so why don’t you-” He jerks his head to the side. “Up, on your feet! There’s a good soldier.”

But Mac doesn’t stay on his feet for long, falling with his first step.

“I will admit,” Murdoc sighs, squatting down beside Mac again. “I wasn’t sure the bazooka was the best idea. Too many variables. But I also couldn’t not take the risk. I mean, I’ve been trying to kill you for years. When would I get a better opportunity?”

Mac groans. Pushes himself up on his hands.

“It does increase the risk of leg injuries, which makes moving you around a real pain in the ass. But there are ways.”

Well, if Mac’s heart wasn’t racing before, it definitely is now.

“This will be easier if you don’t fight me. Trust me; this is a mercy.”

And then the pistol cracks against Mac’s head, and everything goes dark.

---

“Så flådde han kråka og lema ho sund, hei fara og lema ho sund- oh.”

Mac frowns against a stabbing headache and a leg burning in agony. He’s not as cold as before, and the ground is drier. Wood.

“Forgive me,” Murdoc says airily. “I was workshopping lullabies. Still new to this parenting thing.” He sighs. “My mother used to sing me to sleep with that one: kråkevisa. It’s about a man who thinks a crow is out to kill him, so he kills the crow first. Then he makes shoes out of its skin and hangs the crow’s neck in the church. I suppose it’s her own fault that I tried to emulate the man. And there were no crows near my home, so I made do. Mother did make a lovely pair of shoes.”

This is far too much information. Mac can’t even process it. All he can do is look around, searching for threats.

“Where are we?” he murmurs.

“This is where I come to get away from it all,” Murdoc explains. “Cozy place, isn’t it?”

Mac sits up slowly, hands (still tied together, regretfully) immediately going to the dark red drenching his shirt. “Wh-?” He lifts the hem, finding a metal shard sticking out of his side. The wound was clotted, but sitting up tears it open again, bright red flowing over deep maroon.

Murdoc hums. “Car accident, I suspect. Not important, really. Just don't pull it out.” He shrugs. “Really, MacGyver, we have bigger fish to fry here.”

“Like what?” Mac grits out, holding pressure against the wound.

“You really have no sense of drama. But that’s okay. I like that about you.” He paces to a table. Mac can’t see what he’s doing. “So I’ll throw you a bone, just this once.

“You, my friend, have been an insufferable presence in my life since the day I was hired to kill you. I planned everything perfectly. I was stronger than you, more prepared than you, faster than you.” He picks up a tray and returns to Mac’s side, kneeling to look at Mac properly. “But you still managed to-” He sets the tray down with a sharp clatter. “-slip through my fingers.” His voice remains even, rhythm never faltering. “You were the one who got away. And ever since, I’ve been chasing you like a dog, trying to rectify that.”

Murdoc hums. Puts on a pair of white rubber gloves. “I think enough is enough, don’t you?”

Mac can’t stand up. Not with his leg swollen and (most likely) broken to hell. There’s no getting out of here. He sees two options:

He stalls long enough for someone to find him. But this requires someone to realize he’s missing. Even if Jack survived (and he must have survived, because Mac can’t live in a world without him), he’s probably just as lost as Mac is. Their best bet is that Riley or Bozer notice they’re missing. That will take a minimum of three hours, maybe four.

Or,

2. He incapacitates Murdoc and uses the items at his disposal to contact help.

It’s not a difficult choice.

“Remember, back in LA? When we had that little chat over nightshade and handcuffs?” He smiles, and it’s scarier than when he’s angry. “That was a good day.” And then his voice hardens to steel. “But you cut it short. I never got to pry Cassian’s location out of you.” He sighs. “I don't need his location anymore - obviously - but wouldn't it be a treat to have you give it up anyway? A nice dose of humiliation before I kill you.”

Mac glares up. He's not sure how effective it is when he's on the ground and bleeding. “So what? If I don't talk, I get to live?”

“Of course not,” Murdoc scoffs, screwing a needle to a syringe and stabbing a vial with it. “Living was never on the table. You either talk and die or get tortured for nothing and die. Your call.”

Mac shifts backwards. He can't help it. With Murdoc leering over him, needle glinting and malice-driven eyes gleaming, Mac’s every cell is screaming at him to get away. But in his state, moving just jars his leg, pain choking the breath from his lungs.

Murdoc is less than enthused. “You should leave the torturing to the expert.” And then he stabs Mac in the arm with the needle and depresses the plunger.

At first, Mac feels nothing at all. Just that absent but nagging concern about the mystery drug in his body. And then, things start to sink. The pain doesn’t go away - if anything, it’s worse - but his awareness is fluttery. Sounds are muffled at first and then ring for eons in his ears. The world is filtered with a blurry blue haze. Murdoc’s face comes in and out of focus.

“The belladonna clearly wasn’t enough last time. So I made my own… adjustments. But I’m sure you figured that out by now.”

Yeah. Mac definitely does not remember the sewers being like this.

“So I’ll ask nicely. Once. Where were you hiding my son?”

Mac coughs. Maybe it’s his cold. Maybe he’s about to vomit. He can’t decide. “I didn’t… I never knew… I didn’t even know he-”

Murdoc’s ring cuts Mac’s face as he backhands him. “Liar! You knew, and you kept it from me! You took a son away from his father, all under the guise of ‘protecting’ him.”

“No one… ever told me,” Mac swears.

And Murdoc nods once, expression stony. “You made me do this.”

Shiny. Cool steel. Brand new. Long and sharp and strong. Clamping. Pulling. Pressure. And then-

Mac can’t help it. He screams.

“Oh, come now, MacGyver,” Murdoc chides. “What’s one fingernail between friends? A ring fingernail, no less. Hardly important. Though the index nail is looking awfully tempting.”

“I…” His voice shakes so badly, he can barely speak. “I told you all I… all I know.”

“I doubt that.”

And then the middle and index nails are gone.

“Okay, so fingernails aren’t your kryptonite,” Murdoc says, barely sparing the writhing figure on the floor a second glance. “That’s fine. We can move on.” He hums, scanning his tray of tools, and then sighs. “I’m not feeling it. Nothing’s speaking to me. I’m going to have to get creative.”

Mac thinks, for only a moment, that perhaps this will be his reprieve. Maybe he’ll have a few seconds to breathe. But then there’s a sharp, twisting, cutting agony, ripping his insides to shreds.

“Funny thing about the human body: it will do anything to stop the bleeding. Even if there’s a foreign object in the wound, the body will still try its damnedest to heal around the sucker. So before you know it, that thing is basically melded into the skin. And even the slightest movement-” and here he twists the metal shrapnel viciously “-will tear the skin open all over again. Hurts so good, huh?”

Mac is leaning more towards “hurts” than “good,” but Murdoc doesn’t really want Mac’s opinion. He just wants to hear himself talk.

“So what do you say? Want to tell me now? I already have him, so it’s not like you’re hurting anyone. Barring yourself, of course.”

Mac doesn’t have the air to defend himself. But Murdoc interprets this as defiance. And in his own act of defiance, he rips the shrapnel from Mac’s side.

“Ooo, that must’ve hurt.”

But Mac can’t hear him over his own screams.

Murdoc drops the metal, returning to his tray. “How’s that leg feeling?”

Oh god. Not his leg. The leg that’s still throbbing, even under the agony of his side. Mac has a plan - thinks he has a plan - but if he wants it to work, he needs to act now.

Murdoc grabs a hammer and turns it in his hands. Then he shakes his head and grabs a meat mallet instead.

Mac has his hands on the shrapnel now, cutting away at the ropes. Murdoc doesn’t notice, though it’s only a matter of time before he does.

“So, tongue feeling looser yet?” Murdoc hasn’t looked up yet. He hasn’t looked up yet. He hasn’t-

“What are you doing?” Murdoc hisses, reaching out to snatch the metal away. But Mac is in pain and drugged and still has his stupid head cold, and his survival instincts are far past active. With a sudden burst of adrenaline-powered strength, Mac rips the last of the ropes and tape away and swipes out with the shrapnel. He catches Murdoc in the hand, but this only seems to make him angry.

Murdoc holds his injured hand to his chest and pulls out his pistol.

Mac doesn’t waste another moment, kicking out with his good leg and hitting Murdoc’s head. As he jerks to the side, Murdoc hits his head against the corner of the table and falls still. Later, Mac will look back with horror at how ridiculously lucky he was, but in the moment, Mac is just desperate to escape.

As gently as he can manage, Mac drags himself across the floor, grabbing Murdoc’s gun and pocketing the cartridge. Best to keep Murdoc away from loaded weapons.

Then, Mac grabs the rope hanging from the table (excess from the rope used to tie him up, no doubt), and secures Murdoc’s wrists and ankles. It’s not foolproof, but it’s a temporary fix until Mac can find something stronger.

After a moment to brace himself, Mac slowly, painfully slides himself around the room, trying to get a lay of the land. There are a multitude of torture weapons on the tray, of course, though few look like promising supplies. (Mac does grab the meat tenderizer though. Just in case Murdoc gets loose.) There’s an alarm clock on the table, which Mac manages to knock to the floor. There’s probably more up there, but Mac can’t see much past the table’s edge. Mac himself has a few paperclips and a stick of chewing gum. (Something about that feels cliche, though he has no idea why.)

The best find, however, is a drawer in the kitchenette. The moment Mac opens it, despite it being above his line of view, he instantly knows what it is: a junk drawer. Lord bless the person who invented junk drawers. They’ve saved Mac’s life on more than one occasion.

Feeling around, Mac procures a few tubes of used lip balm, more bullets, a pair of scissors, and a small coil of wire.

And Mac has all the makings of a quick and dirty spark-gap transmitter.

With shaky hands (and three fewer fingernails than usual), Mac removes the battery from the alarm clock. Then he connects it with the wire, leaving the rest of the coil to act as an electromagnet. Then he adds a paperclip across from a nail in the floorboards, forming a spark gap. Now Mac just needs a second battery.

Mac searches the junk drawer and the lower cabinets, coming across a forgotten smoke detector. It’s perfect. Just one problem though:

Mac can’t get the smoke detector open. He tugs and pries at the battery door, injured fingers curled into his palm. He uses the wires and the tenderizer and everything he can find, but nothing will open it. He hangs his head before trying to pry it open with his fingers again. He’s so close. He can’t lose now. One more battery  - just one thing to complete the circuit - and he’ll have his transmitter. He’ll be able to signal for help. He’ll get out of here alive.

There’s a crash. Mac jumps, sending shockwaves of pain up his leg and through his abdomen. There’s clattering around the room. Cursing and rustling. Yelling and breaking glass and gun safeties. And then, footsteps approach Mac. Someone is trying to talk to him.

“Get… get away…” he pants, refusing to look up. “Back off.”

“Whoa, hey,” the voice says, and it’s that awful Texan drawl that makes Mac’s spirit soar. “It’s just me, hoss. I ain’t gonna hurt you.”

“Jack,” Mac breathes, allowing Jack to help him sit up. “I thought you were…”

“Yeah. Well. I’m not.” He jerks his head to the side. “No thanks to Jerkwad von Bazookaface over there.”

Murdoc is still bleary-eyed, surrounded by at least four SWAT officers.

“How did you…?” Mac looks at the nail on the floor, then back at Jack. “I didn’t finish the radio.”

“I don’t need a radio to find you.” It’s almost sweet, in a weirdly them type of way. “You left blood all over the place. Followed it like breadcrumbs to the witch’s candy house.”

Mac blinks. “You and I remember that fairytale very differently.”

“No, you just lack imagination.”

Mac sighs, sagging against Jack’s steady hand. “I am too high for this.”

Jack pats him reassuringly. “Definitely, buddy. Now, let’s get you outta here. There’s a bag of cough drops with your name on it on the plane.”

Mac doesn’t reply right away. He’s overwhelmed by a strange sense of… safety. “Hey, uh, Jack?”

“Hey, uh, what?”

“Thanks.”

Jack just smiles. “S’what brothers are for.”

[yeenybeanies]

Borrower soap headcanons? Are he and ghost still military?

borrower!soap headcanons!

so i'm thinkin ghost is still military, but soap is not. no lil mousey guys in the military.

however!! soap grew up on a military base with his family, which is where he discovered his affinity & love for things that go boom. this little man can macgyver a bomb or a trap out of just about anything. he's also very good at sabotaging & dismantling machinery, so he can be quite the trouble-maker. he once accidentally rendered a helicopter inoperable because he stole a couple of parts from its engine.

his family hates that he gets so close to the humans & steals important things from them, but he does it anyway because a) he needs the shit he's taking, & 2) he loves the thrill.

thinkin' i'd wanna go with an "accidentally taken along for the ride" scenario, wherein soap gets unknowingly caught on an aircraft or in ghost's gear while he's leaving for deployment on a solo mission. so now he's stuck with this big, skull-wearing motherfucker, along for the ride while ghost does his violence. not thrilled about it, but more resigned than scared. soap is good at hiding, & even better at escaping, should he be caught (he has never been caught).

things get dicey. ghost gets in a spot of trouble. nothing he can't handle, but it's not pleasant. gets soap a little nervous, though, & he just so happens to be packing some of his homemade bombs. startles the fuck outta ghost when there's suddenly a smoke bomb being tossed & a little scottish voice yelling in his ear to fucking move it, ya big bastard!

aaaaand once they're in the clear, soap says fuck it, damage is already done, no point in hiding anymore, especially since ghost is his way back home. cue a flabbergasted ghost because what the fuck is that what kind of a name is soap is he hallucinating what––

& that's how they meet!!

[frazzledsoul]

rory and dean, part three: we’re really just fucking kidding ourselves at this point, or why rory does not deserve 99% of the blame for this disaster

So, OG Gilmore Girls fans may recall that Dean Forester’s ill-advised marriage to his rebound girlfriend was actually an attempt to write him off the show. Jared had filmed a pilot for a Young Macgyver show (you can watch most of it online here), but the WB ultimately passed so we (and Rory) were stuck with Dean for another year and a half. One wonders what would have happened if they hadn’t passed. Would we never have heard from Dean again? Would ASP have roped him into a few guest appearances anyway and attempted to do the same storyline? Would they just have gotten Milo to guest star for season four? Would Rory have run away with Jess in that scenario? Who knows.

Anyway, let’s revisit the issue of Dean vs Jess at the end of season four, after Rory rejects Jess’s plea to run away with him

RORY: Anyway, I left the pub, got back to my dorm, and Jess was there. LANE: What did he want? RORY: He wanted me to come away with him. LANE: Oh, my God! What did you say? RORY: I said -- I don't know. It was so weird. He was just... Jess. I mean, he shows up out of no where with this crazy proposal. It was awful. LANE: It doesn't sound awful. RORY: What are you talking about? Jess bailed on me twice. LANE: I know, but how incredibly romantic to have this guy show up out of the blue and want to take you away with him. RORY: When I first met Jess, I thought, "What could be better than this? He's smart, good taste in books and music, so cute." But Jess is great one minute and then the next - you know, as far as I know, I could have said yes, packed my bag, and by the time I got to the car, he would have changed his mind. LANE: It's part of why he's cute. He's unpredictable. RORY: I guess. You know, when I was with Dean, I always knew that no matter what happened, he would be there. LANE: Dean was very dependable. RORY: It was more than that. He's -- well, he was so... um, I was safe, and he was so nice to me. LANE: He really loved you. RORY: I think I really blew it there, you know? I didn't appreciate it. LANE: Every girl has to fall for a bad boy. It's the rule. It's the reason so many accountants eventually get married.

While this fits nicely with my headcanon that Dave eventually became an accountant, that is neither here nor there. I think this is the only time Rory really is shown processing the breakup with Jess until he shows up again in season 6 and how it led her to the Dean disaster, because as schmoopy as she gets about Dean in the twelve hours or so after she sleeps with him, it’s clear that she’s mostly looking for affirmation and stability, and not to get dragged down by feelings she can’t trust or control.

And of course, she had pretty much zero boundaries with Dean prior to this: crying on his shoulder, haranguing him about not going to college, knowing that Lindsay wouldn’t approve of him hanging out with her at night and doing it anyway. Who was going to tell her she shouldn’t do that, after the example her parents set for her over and over? Anyway. Moving on.

So, let’s go over Dean’s seduction technique, which mostly involves him lying his ass off.

DEAN: It's not working with Lindsay. I can't make it work. I've tried. RORY: Are you sure? Because I've heard that the first two years of marriage are the hardest. DEAN: We're not happy. She's not happy, and I can't make her happy. RORY: I can't imagine that. DEAN: It was a mistake, and I know that now. From the very beginning, it wasn't - RORY: Wasn't what? DEAN: It wasn't... RORY: Maybe you could, um, go see a counselor or go away together. DEAN: No, it's just -- it's over. We both feel it. I know we both feel it. RORY: You and Lindsay? DEAN: Yeah, me and Lindsay. RORY: You both feel it's over? DEAN: I tried. We tried. RORY: Well, if it's over, I'm sorry. DEAN: You are? RORY: I'm sorry you're not happy. DEAN: I'll be happy again. Things happen for a reason, right?

Not to completely absolve Rory for all of this as she definitely should have gone on more than Dean’s word, but he absolutely lied to her face after she gave him three chances in a row to come clean. He made sure to follow her to her house, where she would be alone, and manipulated her into having sex with him. Yet somehow Rory is shamed for being the seductress who tempted him into breaking his vows.

Let’s move on to Lorelai, who is actually speaking sense on matters of morality, for once.

LORELAI: But he's married. RORY: You don't understand the situation. LORELAI: Is he still married? RORY: Yes, but - LORELAI: Then I understand the situation. RORY: It's not working out between them. They're not happy. LORELAI: Oh, Rory. RORY: He tried the best he could, but it didn't work. It's over. LORELAI: [ Sighs ] He told you that? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: He told you he's leaving her? RORY: Well - LORELAI: He told you he's moving out, they're getting divorced, he's got a lawyer, they've divided up the monster-truck season tickets? RORY: We didn't get around to discussing everything.

Yeah, Rory, because he lied and told you exactly what he needed to so that you would fuck him. He never actually made any steps towards leaving his wife, and he won’t until he’s forced to,

RORY: He's not a married guy. He's Dean -- my Dean.

LORELAI: He's not your Dean. He's Lindsay's Dean. You're the other woman. RORY: I told you, it's over. LORELAI: It's not over until he's out of the house with the ring off. RORY: He took the ring off. LORELAI: Oh, my God, I don't believe this. RORY: He's in love with me, not Lindsay. LORELAI: Does Lindsay know that? RORY: She's not good for him, okay? She lets him quit school and work himself to death and - LORELAI: No, Rory, uh-uh, you can't be one of those girls who blames the wife for forcing the husband to cheat.

Funny how Lorelai was exactly like that when Christopher was having problems with Sherry and not only slept with him before he had moved out or officially broken up with her, but bragged about it to Sookie, paraded him all around Stars Hollow, and let everyone she knew about their burgeoning relationship, including her parents. It would be strange if that happened to come up again, right?

LORELAI: This is your first time. It's just not the way your first time was supposed to be. RORY: Oh, and how was my first time supposed to be? LORELAI: Well, first of all, it was supposed to be in a retirement home. And secondly, ideally, it was supposed to be with someone single. RORY: My first time was with someone sweet and kind who loves me. LORELAI: I didn't raise you to be like this. I didn't raise you to be the kind of girl who sleeps with someone else's husband. RORY: You slept with dad when he was with Sherry. LORELAI: He wasn't married to Sherry. RORY: He was engaged, and she was pregnant. LORELAI: So, this is all my fault? I set one crappy example for you, and you have no choice but to follow in my footsteps?

They’re basically one of those old anti-drug PSAs. I learned it from watching you!

I mean, it’s not like Lorelai badgered and pressured Rory into staying with Dean when her attention drifted to Jess and constantly argued for his innate superiority over and over and over.....oh wait, she totally did that. It’s not like Lorelai failed to sit Rory down at some point and explain that the reason their hearts got broken over Christopher not breaking up with his girlfriend is because sometimes when you sleep with other people’s boyfriends, they opt not to choose you in the end. Oh, wait, she didn’t do that, either, because he was her Christopher and they’ve always been connected. So she’s completely entitled to not take any responsibility for that situation and try to vandalize the other woman’s bathroom at her baby shower because she was jealous.

So, let’s just say I kind of understand why Rory gives Lorelai the cold shoulder here. Who is she to lecture, given her track record? And we know it’s only going to get worse.

Before we move on from this, though...

RORY: He was my boyfriend first! LORELAI: But you dumped him! You rejected him! You picked someone else!

Okay, technically it was Dean that dumped her (apparently I am the only one who remembers this) but as much as Rory pretends that Dean was the perfect boyfriend, both of them are significantly overidealizing the halcyon days of their early relationship. They were together for three months, and only reconcile when Rory is badgered into saying that she loves him: then it’s a few more months until Jess shows up and Rory loses almost all interest in Dean whatsoever. So the perfect love that they claim to want to relive never really existed.

Okay, let’s move on to how Dean actually treats his wife he claims to Rory he was completely in the process of breaking up with prior to him boinking his ex.

Upon learning that Lindsay had committed the unpardonable sin of answering her husband’s phone:

DEAN: I mean, you know it's my phone, Lindsay. This isn't your phone. I mean, who was it? LINDSAY: I don't know. They hung up. DEAN: So you didn't take a message? LINDSAY: I told you -- they hung up. DEAN: So, great, uh, you're just answering my phone and not taking messages? That's great, Lindsay. LINDSAY: Dean, wh-- DEAN: Taylor calls on this phone, and Tom. I mean, this phone is for business, okay? That's why I have it! LINDSAY: Fine. DEAN: What if Tom called, and he had an extra shift for me tomorrow, huh? I mean he calls to tell me, and you answer, and he thinks maybe he doesn't have the right number, and he hangs up, and then I just lose out, which means we lose out. God, Lindsay, you know, you don't -- you don't get it, do you? I mean, you have absolutely no respect for me at all. That's just obvious. LINDSAY: I don't want to fight. We always fight. I won't answer your phone anymore. I was asleep. I didn't think. I'm sorry, okay?

Jeebus, she completely sounds like a battered wife here. What a prince Dean is, huh? And yeah, Dean completely doesn’t sound like someone who’s trying really hard to cover his tracks.

Let’s move on. Rory overhears Lindsay trying to prepare dinner in the hopes of smoothing things over with Dean, and she finally accepts that Dean has not left his wife and at this point likely has no intentions to. She writes a break-up letter for Lorelai to deliver to him.

LORELAI: It's a letter for you from Rory. DEAN: What happened? Where is she? LORELAI: Just take the letter. DEAN: She went to Europe, right? Miss Patty said she went to Europe. What happened? What's she doing there? Who is she with? LORELAI: Dean. DEAN: When's she getting back? LORELAI: Soon. Just take it. DEAN: Where is she? LORELAI: Europe. DEAN: With who? LORELAI: Her grandmother. Look, take it. DEAN: No. Why did she go? Whose idea was it? LORELAI: That doesn't matter. DEAN: It does.

Dean, are you still married? Then it’s none of your business who Rory is with. Fuck off, sir. You have no right to ask anything of her.

Lindsay finds the letter and finally gives Dean a small taste of what he deserves.

LINDSAY: I hate you, Dean! I hate everything! DEAN: Let's just talk. LINDSAY: I don't want to talk! I don't want you here! DEAN: I'm sorry, okay? LINDSAY: Sorry? DEAN: Yes, because it'll never happen again.

Sure sounds like a guy who really, really wants to leave his marriage and totally didn’t feed Rory a bunch of bullshit to get her to do what he wants.

Lindsay kicks Dean out and her mom and Lorelai have a blowout in the middle of the street while their kids stand by silently like the teenage girls that they still are.

MRS. LISTER: You! You should be ashamed of yourself -- what you did! LORELAI: Just wait. MRS. LISTER: What did she ever do to you, huh? How did she hurt you? Why are you doing this? LORELAI: Theresa, please. Calm down. MRS. LISTER: Calm down? My little girl has to come home and find your heinous letter in Dean's jacket. LORELAI: Listen, we're in the street -- MRS. LISTER: You little monster! LORELAI: Hey! Pull back, lady! MRS. LISTER: There aren't hundreds of other boys in the world? You have to go after her husband? LORELAI: Okay, stop attacking my daughter right now. You're upset, I get it, but you do not do this. MRS. LISTER: She slept with my son-in-law. She broke up a marriage. Are you proud? LORELAI: She did not break up a marriage. MRS. LISTER: What do you know of this? LORELAI: Enough. I know Rory. MRS. LISTER: All I know is that now my Lindsay is devastated, Dean is back with his parents, lives are destroyed, and you and your daughter can go to hell!

Okay, first of all, this was a predictable end result when two teenagers who don’t know each other that well decide to get married at the age of eighteen. Why did their parents, especially Lindsay’s mother encourage this? And what the fuck is up with blaming Rory for the situation completely? No, she shouldn’t have done it, but Dean is the one who decided to marry Lindsay. He’s the one that decided to cheat. He’s the one that decided to lie to both of them. He is not an innocent bystander. 

Later on, Rory tries to comfort Dean over what has happened.

DEAN: No. It's not a stupid question. Um...let's see. How do I feel? Actually...I feel like an idiot. RORY: Why? DEAN: Why? Because I was married, …Rory. Married. And I threw it all away for someone who dumped me once and then just bailed on me. RORY: I didn't just bail. I -- DEAN: I hurt everybody. I hurt Lindsay, I hurt her parents, I hurt my parents, and now I'm back at home, and you're in Europe with your grandmother. And what the hell was I thinking? I mean, what am I doing? What's wrong with me?

I mean, the correct answer here is that everything is wrong with you, Dean, but....in the first place, Rory didn’t dump you, second of all, and she “bailed” because you lied and had no intention of leaving your wife in the first place. Take responsibility for your own actions, my man.

Rory and Dean eventually date for a month or so. Dean dumps her again because he realizes they have nothing in common. Does he take any steps towards moving on with his life and taking responsibility for his own mistakes? 

DEAN: Your situation is no different from mine. Buddy. LUKE: I've got work to do. DEAN: Then go. They want more than this. Don't you see that? And all you are is this. LUKE: Rory was a kid, Dean. She grew up. She moved on. Accept it. DEAN: You accept it. This town, it's all you are, and it's not enough. She's going to get bored, and you can't take her anywhere. You're here forever. LUKE: It's different. DEAN: It's not different. You and me. Same thing.

Bear in mind this episode takes place in April and Dean dumped Rory the previous November, and yet he’s still bitter, still projecting onto Luke, and still completely blaming Rory for all of his own decisions. He was the one who dumped her the first two times. He was the one that got into a fight with Jess on her behalf. He was the one who proposed to Lindsay to get her to forget about it. He was the one who got married despite his reservations. He was the one who lied to Rory so that she would have sex with him. He was the one who refused to leave his wife. And oh yeah....he was the one who dumped Rory a third time.

That’s the last we see of Dean for eleven years until he shows up in the revival and actually seems emotionally stable for a change.

Somehow Rory gets the brunt of the blame for all of this, but she wasn’t in this alone. I do think she was scared into this by Jess showing up, and if he had any sort of explanation or apology for her either of the times he showed up, she probably wouldn’t have been so vulnerable to the affirmation that Dean offered her. Then she could have had a disappointing first experience with Marty as an alternative.

Which still would have been an improvement over the horror of that Candyman song.

[randomfanficsig]

{ Back seat }

MacGyver x reader

Summary : When Mac and Y/n are heading to the airport to meet the others for their next mission, they pull over for a quick… pit stop.

Tw: 18+ | minors DNI | oral (female) | car sex | penetration | no protection | SMUT | swearing | slight Dom/sub scenario |

📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎

Me and Mac have to be at the airport in 20 minutes. Matty decided to call us last minute and apparently this mission is too important for a briefing. So here we are, in Mac’s car, on the highway at 3 in the morning.

“Hey princess,” Mac begins, turning to face me, “You know what we could cross of our bucket list?” He asks, a smirk resting on his face.

I turn and look at him in confusion. “What would that be?”

“Car sex” he answers my question.

“You have the sex drive of a teenage boy” I chuckle, resting my hand on his that sits on my thigh.

“That’s what you love most about me, the mind blowing orgasms I give you.” His voice turns husky and I already know he’s as turned on as me.

“Well,” I begin, reaching under my skirt to pull my panties down, “You better hurry up and pull over”

I unbuckle my belt and climb over to the back seats, Mac smacking my ass as I go. “Oh your such a little minx princess.” He says, pulling over to the hard shoulder.

Next thing I know, Mac jumps into the back seats with me, his pants already unbuttoned. He pulls me by my ankles so his face is inches from my pussy and looks up at me. “Ready sweetheart?” He asks, checking for consent.

I give him my answer by pushing my fingers into his hair. Next thing after, his lips are wrapped around my clit, sucking and slightly nipping, earning moans and whimpers from me. “Ohh- fuck.”

He licks me from top to bottom, sticking his middle finger in my cunt. “Fuck Mac I’m so close” I scream out. “Go on princess, come for me, let me taste you” he says, keeping full eye contact.

That’s all that was needed to send me over the edge. Screams leave my mouth and the knot in my stomach becomes undone. Mac continues to finger me, helping ride out my orgasm. “Good girl, you did so well. You ready for another?”

“Yes, oh pls Mac” I beg. He sits up, pulling my legs so I’m straddling him, he lifts his hips below me, rubbing his erection against my core, as he pulls his pants and underwear down a little. He lines his throbbing cock against me and lowers me done gently.

“Fuck you feel so good” he mutters as he bottoms out. Another moan leaves my mouth as he touches the spongy spot inside me. “Right there, pls, there” I plead to Mac, who begins to pick up the pace, using my hips to get me and himself to the brink.

My hand slaps against the steamed up window, and my head falls, hair falling in front on my face. Mac begins leaving sloppy kisses along my jawline, until he reaches the soft spot by my ear. He begins sucking, no doubt leaving a bright purple mark where his lips are.

“I’m gonna come again” I whisper into his lips, kissing him to silence my screams.

“Me to” he says, bringing his thumb down to my clit, adding pressure to make the orgasm more intense.

Within seconds we’re both coming, our heavy breathing and pants filling the car. I fall into a fit of giggles “ Fuck me, we need to do this more often”.

“Number 1, I just did. Number 2, I very strongly agree.” He chuckles. I give him one last long kiss on the lips and climb of him to the front of the car, picking my panties up of the passenger side floor.

Mac follows behind me, climbing back into the drivers seat and starting the car. “You do realise Jacks gonna realise what we did, can’t get anything past him” Mac says as he pulls the car back into the highways.

“Welll he’ll be disturbed and I’ll be having flashbacks, sounds like a lose for him not us” I reply, shrugging my shoulders.

📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎

10 minutes later, we pull up to the airport. 15 minutes late may I add, but… oh well.

“What took you so long?” Jack asks, although he shuts up the second he sees me walking a little out of place, while mac keeps his hand on my waist.

“You know what, I don’t wanna know. You enjoy it while you can” he says, turning around chuckling to himself.

I turn to mac and wrap my arms under his jacket, while resting my chin on his chest. “You ready?”

“Always” he replies, smiling down at me, before pulling my hair, to get me fully looking up and him so he can kiss me.

“Leave the kinks at home!” Riley shouts from plane door.

We look at each other and laugh

“I love you Angus Macgyver”

“I love you too Y/n Y/l/n”

📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎

Thanks for reading my loves <3

[rosieblogstuff]

“What are you thinking, Mac?” Jack asked from the floor, in a wary tone that said he’d already guessed.

Mac stopped playing with the air intake and collected two quart-sized canning jars from the shelf with the preserves. “I’m thinking that if we block the entrance tunnel, it’ll take them a lot longer to get down here.” He set the jars on the ground and lined up the jugs of chemicals. “I just have to calculate the amount of blast energy necessary to collapse the tunnel without crushing us.”

Jack scootched across the floor until he was visible from where Mac crouched over the jars and jugs. “I’m not saying that’s the worst plan I ever heard, but what about these tanks of murder juice, Mac? If we break ‘em open, what’s going to come pouring out?”

Mac paused, frowning as he ran scenarios in his head. Tanks like the six in the middle of the floor were sturdy, and should be able to hold up to some external weight, but there was no telling where they came from or what was in them. All he knew is that they weren’t empty. They could be overpressurized, in poor condition, or otherwise flawed. The only thing they could guess was that whatever was in there was weaponized. It would probably kill them both, and possibly everyone else on the ranch.

(more on ao3)

[lord-owlsnake]

📓!

Oho thank u anon :>

My current scenario that I daydream about while falling asleep is basically a bad end (not always) au for Alex in Macgyver. Basically, he goes with Jack on the Kovacs mission. Mostly just so Jack has someone to watch his back and because I hated that the show killed Jack off so Jack gets to live. Essentially it gets bad. Jack and Alex are stuck in a firefight during an escape, and Alex takes a bullet for Jack.

Jack hides Alex somewhere safe, and in the middle of the firefight Mac and the others show up in the nick of time to help. Unfortunately, when they ask where Alex is, Jack looks grim and takes them to where he hid Alex, and Alex is almost gone. The scenario doesn't always have Alex die, but I play it very close haha

[ncisfranchise-source]

NCIS fans, get ready to see Gibbs like you've never seen him before.

CBS announced Friday that its flagship procedural is getting a '90s-set prequel series, NCIS: Origins, which will follow a younger version of Mark Harmon's beloved character, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, as a newly minted special agent making a name for himself at Camp Pendleton. While Harmon will be returning to the NCIS franchise to narrate and executive-produce Origins, he won't be starring — which raises a big question.

Who should play young Gibbs?

Of course some major names come to mind, guys like Glen Powell and Austin Butler. But they're securely movie stars at this point and not likely to commit to leading a network show. (There's also Harmon's son, Sean Harmon, who has played a young Gibbs on NCIS, but he's exec-producing Origins with his dad.) So, the EW staff has some ideas about who should be your grandma's next crush.

Lucas Till

Lucas Till is already in the CBS family and proved he can handle an fan-favorite prequel character with MacGyver. Plus, that jawline screams young Mark Harmon. —Sydney Bucksbaum

KJ Apa

As Riverdale hunk Archie, KJ Apa proved he can handle the most absurd of network television scenarios. Now he can graduate and trade his ginger locks for a fresh blond look! —Maureen Lee Lenker

Robbie Amell

I'm no NCIS expert, but I do think that Robbie Amell bears a decent resemblance to young Mark Harmon and seems like he's at the right juncture in his career for another network show. —Wesley Stenzel

Kevin Zegers

With The Rookie: Feds caput on ABC, Zegers needs another outlet to showcase his federal agent skills. Plus, he could pass for a young Harmon. —MLL

Jaren Lewison

Never have I ever seen an episode of NCIS, and Jaren Lewison was the first young TV actor I could think of who's buff enough to look like he just went through special forces training or whatever NCIS people do. On this show that would actually make sense for his character. —Jillian Sederholm

Chris Zylka

Chris Zylka also has a young Mark Harmon's jawline. I have no other reason, but he really does look like his son (even more so than Harmon's actual son and the show's EP, Sean Harmon). —SB

Trevor Lawrence

Sure, sure, Lawrence is a star football player for the Jacksonville Jaguars, hungry for a Super Bowl ring. But Harmon also got his start as a star QB (at the college level, for UCLA), and there's something about Lawrence's hair that makes us feel like he could sell it. —MLL

Patrick Schwarzenegger

Straight off burning up the screen — literally — on Gen V, Patrick Schwarzenegger has the looks, charm, and moxie (not to mention last-name recognition) to play a young Gibbs. Although, truth be told, could we not just divert all this young Mark Harmon casting energy toward willing a Summer School reboot into existence instead? —Dalton Ross

[eddieisashifter]

despite months passing by since I first watched macgyver, just knowing about Jack makes me fall to my knees in pain and suffering </3 WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DO THAT

Fully embrace your cringe!! I love making my scenarios so silly and 'cringe' according to others it's fun!

Also that is so understandable with not being able to sit still, running around with the main guys sounds like a lot of fun but personally I'm terrified of getting shot at 💀 imagine just chilling and Mac yells at you to get down because you're about to get shot at thats terrifying LMAO in the lab all I gotta worry about is Matty yelling at me

-macgyver anon ™️

SERIOUSLY MY EXACT REACTION!! I actually sobbed.

yess!! I absolutely adore it. it's my dr and I get to be the main character lmao. I think every single dr of mine has something I scripted for the drama of it/the rule of cool. it's just so fun

LMAO fair enough. but don't worry, Mac will make something to save the day! (and steal Jack's phone for it.) The lab is pretty chill compared to that, but getting yelled at by Matty the Hun might be equally as life-threatening XD

[cringecomp2014]

ah yes. the mid-week slump. no, no - not your average wednesday. this is the SERIAL midweek slump. that special time between episode drops for the hottest new show on the air (or at least your dashboard) where everyone is getting antsy and devils find work for idle hands.

many, understimulated due to a lack of content and desperate for interaction, decide to lash out, launching countless desperate attacks with whatever goofy metatextual macgyver shit they can manage to slap together.

"this is my take. nobody has ever said or thought this before - nobody on the world. probably on account of it being fucking stupid" they boldly proclaim. "look upon my takes, ye mighty, and despair. you agree, yes? you agree. tell me you agree. tell me you agree right now or else. if i see even one 'not so sure about this one chief' in my mentions i am coming to your house and eating your fucking children."

these brave crusaders prepare themselves for a fight unending against an enemy unseen: "honestly, you don't even need to respond to me directly. you could post a screenshot in a private discord server and i'd find it. i'm kinda freaky like that."

yet others fearfully retreat into the dark annuls and of their minds to contemplate worst-case scenarios: "what if, next episode, literally everyone dies" they say, "what if, suddenly, everyone is skeletons".

within the dim grottos and thorny recesses in which they dwell, these grim would-be oracles find meaning in the shifting of leaves that aren't there and reverberating drip-drip-drop echoes of water that isn't running: "there was an episode earlier this season where they implied that people have bones. yknow what else has bones? skeletons. it's going to be the fucking skeletons, gang. it's skeletons all the way down."

[ragedaisy]

(general impressions after playing TotK for 3 days, encountered enemies and areas, staying way from major plot stuff for the moment)

so Nintendo really went "we heard your complaints about breakable weapons, so we've decided to double down on that", huh?

BotW was a quiet place, TotK not so much. I do like that these NPCs are actively involved in trying to improve their situation (looking at you BotW and also Fallout4), and what's more they're enthusiastic about helping Zelda and Link

I am less thrilled about how many puzzles are now social puzzles. I'd much rather spend half an hour figuring out the Wasteland Tower in BotW than petty social drama where I need to take sides and I don't know these people and stuff is Implied and potentially Ruined Forever if I chose a wrong option and AAAAH

I'm just gonna say it, I miss the Bomb Rune. It was renewable, I could mine for resources without using up my tools, I had control over what I blew up

All the stuff that is fenced off not because there's an enemy I can't defeat yet, but because someone wants 200 pies or something and you need to talk to someone for the recipe first, but they won't talk to you unless [thing] and if you expect me to keep track of all they said without losing focus, well I don't know what to tell you

if this resource scarcity keeps up, I'm just going to farm and grind my 50 animal crossing amiibo cards. Sure that's boring, but what's more boring is Link's outfit and how I still don't have even enough rupees for the sheikah pants. My Link does not stomp!

also I miss my Majora's Mask. I miss peace and love on the planet Hyrule. I play stealth and now I can't play to my strengths T_T (and yeah maybe Kilton is still out there, but how useful are masks that only fool one type of enemy at a time?) I want to look at a bug or whatever without having to run away from stalkoblins and moblins all the time

the building stuff mechanic is ...okayish. I'm not MacGyver or that elementary school classmates who built rube goldberg machines out of erasers, okay? At some point I'm just going to smash my switch against the wall in frustration. Probably(?) not the emotion the developers were trying to evoke (My worst case scenario is if they expect me to be good at this under time pressure and oh yeah also we hope you like escort missions. Timed ones, naturally 🙃🙃🙃)

I came across some Yiga in a cave, they're even more hilarious than the last time. Writing fanfic in my head about them already (message me if you want to know)

Link exploring underground cave stuff for hours on end just to Not Deal With People

[blackfire-fanfiction]

You know the situation. the scenario in which there is a situation of where Raphael is being blessed by an older woman her knowledge of older things such as knitting and cursive

Do you think while he was looking at her looked at his hands and went "there's a problem here" and then had to MacGyver up solution that involves his feet and beak mouth.

I mean. You don't really use all your fingers while knitting. Raph's problem would be learning how to grip the needles to work with only 3 fingers, and his fingers are thicker than an average human's.

But once he learns how to work around it, he doesn't really struggle with it.