#mace ranger is so random lol

[no-i-will-not-shut-up]

omg the new weapons are so fun rifle mesmer is sending me

[heehoothefool]

Mmmm I'm bored and it's almost 6 am and I cannot sleep.

I'm gonna assign the Empires SMP s2 cast DnD classes for the fun of it.

Joel: He's a Sorcerer for sure, but idk if wild magic or blue draconic bloodline is more fitting. On one hand, he dipped into a magic fountain to become a God which is very wild magic leaning. On the other hand, blue dragon ancestry would give an obvious affinity to lightning, and an excuse for his obsession with gold and the common teal/blue themes of his Stratos builds. You also can get wings. Idk, I like both a lot here.

Fwhip: Have you seen those funky Redstone signs? This little guy is an artificer all the way. After he made that sick mace? I'm gonna say he'd run the battle smith archetype. Idk funny little goblin tinkerer is just fun to me.

Jimmy: Fighter, gunslinger archetype. He's a cowboy, look at him. What else could he possibly be? I know he doesn't have a gun (yet) but I think he deserves it with all the gunpowder. He's also Just Some Guy and sadly fighter is the most Just Some Guy class there is.

Pixlriffs: The archivist artificer subclass was literally made for this man. Tinkering around with insane redstone, litematica, the obsession with the past and knowing things he shouldn't necessarily know, like it's all there. It's perfect for him. I love him.

Sausage: Oath of Devotion paladin, for sure. He's the protector of Sanctuary, it's his duty to protect his friends and his people, to stay true to them no matter what. He will protect his people and those he cares about. Also you literally get access to the spell Sanctuary as part of the extended spell list. Come on.

Scott: Wild magic Sorcerer. If a wizard gives you a glass eye that is SO going to have random magical consequences, and with how often Owen goes between human and Llama I wouldn't be shocked if it was related. They're also charisma casters and look at him. Look at him.

Joey: Gunslinger fighter again but this time with the pirate background specifically. He literally has a gun. What else could he be?

Oli: The man is literally a college of glamor bard. Like this isn't even a question. Come on now.

False: Oh an artificer all the way, look at the steampunk aesthetic going on here. I wanna give her artillerist because she definitely seems like the type to develop a flamethrower, but I think alchemist fits her lore (the whole amnesia potions thing) a bit better. Another one I'm a little torn on.

Gem: What else could she be but a light cleric? She is the princess of the sun and she started a church for the sun. Light cleric. Boom.

Katherine: Definitely barbarian, but the subclass isn't clear. I might need to homebrew a monster hunter subclass here because while that would normally be a ranger thing I guess, this isn't the first time I've wanted to build a monster hunter with a big sword or big axe. For now, I'll say wolf totem warrior.

Shelby: Wild magic Sorcerer with really bad luck who decided to multiclass into the actual alchemist class on the side, but not enough to pick an archetype. Her spells go wrong all the time, often on accident, she doesn't learn from a book, she's having a great time. Sorry you got polymorphed into a frog lol.

Lizzie: Another wild magic sorcerer except she stopped trying after she turned herself into a cat and decided to instead become an arcane trickster rogue. She is not a cat, she prommy. She totally will not steal from you the moment you aren't looking. She enchanted her mask to make her look human. She is human. Worry more about your chests. Don't ask about the amethyst. She has expertise in deception.

[mojoflower]

Underappreciated Sterek Fics Rec List

These are fics that all have less than 200 bookmarks, and I feel that they need more.

♥ The Demon Barber of Maple Avenue by heyshalina, marshmallowfluff  M.  14k.  When Stiles woke up on a Friday with his hair far too long for his own comfort, he decided he needed a haircut. He was not expecting the whole situation to end with Derek finally succumbing to their mutual sexual tension.Or the ghouls. He especially wasn't expecting to be eaten by ghouls.Basically, Stiles doesn't know anything super useful that's not supernatural-related. He has excellent butt-dialing skills, though, so that's a plus.

So funny.  "Yeah, I know," he said decisively, trying to look like he'd been perfectly aware that sitting down at the barber shop was a thing you could do. He took a step sideways towards the nearest chair. Natalie looked back down at her computer. He took another step. Then another. Then he turned and walked confidently towards the chair. He had just started lowering himself into it when Natalie called to him. "Stiles, we're ready for you now!" He jumped up from his half-crouched over position and his bangs fell back into his eyes. He flicked his hair out of his face with a jerk of his head, and felt sort of like Justin Bieber, before the guy cut off his hair because people said he looked like a lesbian. In a moment of fear, Stiles glanced across the room at his reflection in one of the mirrors. Did he look like a lesbian? He didn't want to look like a lesbian. Not that lesbians were bad or anything. But lesbians were only attracted to women, technically. He didn't want that kind of label applied to him.

Control by Badwolf36 M.  12k.   After (and their lives are always defined by “after.” “After” Derek’s family burned. “After” Scott got bit. “After” Gerard and the Kanima and the Alpha Pack and the Darach) the Nogitsune is pulled from him, Stiles becomes obsessed with control.

Sweeter, more heart-wrenching and innocent than you'd think.  So good.

The Time Stiles Totally Knew What He Was Doing by otatop G.  1k.  Stiles aggressively woos himself. // Derek is there too.

This is so. FUNNY.

♥ Eagle Lake by saltandbyrne E.  29k.   It was supposed to be an easy summer job. But everything at this camp is a little odd, and that Hale boy from the hardware store? Definitely too good to be true. Everyone seems to have secrets, and sometimes the truth is stranger than anything Stiles can imagine.

Lovingly earns every hot, throbbing inch of its E rating, seamlessly and hilariously interspersed with bits like this:

Or maybe he's actually going to eat Stiles, because seriously, since when do handsome strangers just show up at boys' camps in the middle of nowhere with any plans other than serial killing? Stiles is going to get serial-killed, and all he can do is look up at his future cannibal axe-murderer and gape.

A fear-boner is definitely a real thing, because Stiles is sporting one so big that the awkward police can probably see it from space. In a lifetime of inexplicable boners, Stiles is pretty sure that his “I'm about to get cut into little pieces by a gorgeous psycho” woody is the least 'plicable.

Good Touch by ksalterego M.  6k.  Derek notices that Stiles doesn't have a pack, so Stiles doesn't get pack hugs. Stiles clearly wants pack hugs. Also, Stiles smells far too much like Scott, far too often. // Derek decides to do something about it all.

So, I have a THING for fics featuring a touch-starved Stiles.  Really sweet... Stiles needs hugs so badly.

Keep The Earth Below My Feet by plume_bob M.  12k.  There's history to be found in the box of his mom's old memories, but history is problematic when Stiles thinks Derek might be the only one who knows the story. And, as usual, relying on Derek is an exercise in emotional juggling that Stiles is just not equipped to handle.

So fucking gorgeous, I can't even.  The author's turn of phrase is beautiful:

“Are you fishing for me to tell you you're funny?” Derek asks slyly, like Stiles is a book he can open at any page and immediately follow.

and

“I'm not made of wet paper towels, Derek,” Stiles tells him, harder than he'd imagined it'd come out with him feeling like—well, wet paper towels. Sorta. Wet paper towels laying on an exposed electrical wire. “You're not gonna break me.”

Omg, Derek is doing his tattoo, and they're practically having sex AS HE INKS HIM, and it's really unbearably hot.

The Owl by 8611 M.  8k.  The owl keeps his forest, and everything inside of it, safe. Even a pack of wolves.

Oh my god, such a gorgeous and vivid fairy tale.  Stiles is perfect as Owl, just watching.  The end is a little sad, in the way that fairy tales can be, but don't let that stop you, because the beauty... is lovely.

Into the Woods by KrisEleven  T.  10k.  “Well, yeah, I’m following someone," Stiles explained. Eyebrows raised as Derek's judging increased. “Not in a creepy way! It’s my best friend and his girlfriend.” One side of his stupid mouth rose in a wry smile. “Not like – they’re lost!” // Now Derek didn’t look amused at all. He looked back at the paper, no doubt noting that they had planned to have returned almost 48 hours ago. “You have to report that.” // “Oh, yeah, I didn’t think of that,” Stiles snarked. “Of course I reported it. I called the ranger station yesterday.” // “And they told you to stay out of the forest while they conducted a search.” It wasn’t a question. // “Well, okay, maybe that was said, but –” // “You’re an idiot,” he told Stiles, rolling his eyes.

Or, When Scott and Kira get lost on a romantic hike in The Siskiyou Wilderness, Stiles enlists the help of Mountain Man Derek Hale to find them and ends up on a completely unexpected romantic hike of his own.

He pulled items at random as he recognized them and thought of situations in which they could possibly be necessary. He put back the second can of bear mace after some deliberation. If that many bears attacked him, he would be dealing with some deeper issues.  Lol.

How to please your house spirit by Lesatha  M.  14k.  Derek startled awake in the middle of the night. For a split second he didn’t know why, then as he felt a strange weight on his chest, he raised his head and looked down. And stayed speechless. // There was a tiny creature, barely the size of Derek’s whole hand, sitting on him. It had a human shape, from what Derek could see. // It looked furious.

ohmygod this is infinitely adorable, Stiles is a (murderous, multitasking, shapeshifting) little shit (so is Peter) and Derek is utterly wrapped around his (occasionally) tiny finger.

♥ In Which Stiles Finds He Much Prefers When Interesting Things Happen to Somebody Else by Zoom Zoom (PaperLillyWebs)   T.  21k.  “Finish what you start,” the skull rasps at him, making him jump. When he looks up, the skull is just as still as before.Loosely based on Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wayne Jones.

What a fun story!  Stiles the apprentice is every bit of adorable, his Master Hale is a shadowy, mean kind of figure, and something's going on where none of the ends match up.  The story borrows the Howl's Moving Castle world, but that's all, none of the plot or characters.  I love it.

Attach me to your world by artisan447  E.  27k.  Turns out Stiles is magic. He's as surprised about that as anyone.

Sweet, sexy and intense:  everything you want a surprise bonding fledgling magic fic to be.

♥ Fasten You to Me by nubianamy  E.  21k.   The day gravity stopped working, Stiles was jogging through the park.

This story is so awesome, and surreal and frightening and sweet.  Stiles is jogging in the park when suddenly reality departs... and all the people go falling into the sky.  He straps himself to a root, manages to catch Derek, and then they spend the next three days together as the world disappears into a dense fog.  They get to talk a lot, of course, and more than talk (and wow, Stiles has had a crush on him since he was a little kid!).  But every once in a while, Stiles goes cold, and there are no words in his mouth, only a song, and everything recedes, and that's when Derek gets really scared and starts singing Beatles songs in his dreadful off-tune voice, trying to combat Stiles' song, trying to bring him back.

I fucking love this story.

A Hundred Echoes by hunters_retreat  E.  28k.   In the wake of life altering events, the Beacon Hills pack is trying to settle into some semblance of normal.  After the nogitsune, all Stiles wants is to be able to breathe easy and know that his friends are safe.  When Stiles begins to dream of his friends though, they turn out to be something extraordinary.  Stiles is a spirit walker.  The dreams leave him empathic and unable to control himself, but salvation comes in the unlikely form of Derek Hale.  Stiles just needs to know two things.  What is stirring in the woods of Beacon Hills to cause the entire pack to dream of horrific things? And can Derek help him learn to center himself and control his empathy before it’s too late?

In which Stiles is an empath and a dreamwalker, unbeknownst to himself.  He can be hurt in dreams, but his empathy is so out of control that no one can touch him but Derek.

"I'm not leaving without you, Derek," Stiles told him.  He held his hand out for Derek to take but it wasn't like Scott's dreams, or Isaac's.  This was Derek and even in his dreams there was a circle of mountain ash between him and the people he could ask for help.

"Stiles, please go," Derek's voice lost its command as he pleaded with Stiles.  "I'll survive.  I'll heal as soon as I wake up. You won't."

♥ Prickly Thorn, but Sweetly Worn by khasael  T.  15k.   An unhelpful witch gives Stiles a gift he doesn't want. It's hard to say whether Derek is pleased by this or not... although not for the usual reasons.

Oh, joy.  Derek-the-hedgehog is utterly cute, and Stiles basically monologues for most of the chapters, and it's precious.

Massage Therapy by reillyblack  M.  11k.   Stiles wins the big lottery prize at the police departments annual fundraiser -- five at-home massages with the best masseuse in town. Which, ok, awesome, except... one problem: "the best masseuse in town" turns out to be the ridiculously hot, grumpy, man of his dreams and Stiles can NOT figure out how to hit on him during their sessions together without making him feel like a prostitute.

Very quick, and awkward and sweet.  I'd love for it to be twice as long and twice as explicit, but I'll take what I can get ;-)