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thinkingaboutbetterdays · 4 months ago

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the long game. ( mac taylor x reader )

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The name left his lips as if he had said it a million times. He had, but not with the sentiment preceding it. The first time it happened, Peyton had brushed it off, joking that she was not his 'work wife'. Mac had spent the rest of the night and several days thereafter restless, mulling over the meaning behind his slip-up.

The second time it happened, Peyton was walking away after Mac let go of her hand when you and Stella were entering the morgue, and he could see the hurt in her eyes as she revealed her findings. The worst part? You were unaware of the turmoil within the couple and flashed Peyton a smile as you praised her for her work.

Stella, however, wasn't so oblivious and glanced at Mac over her shoulder as she left with you.

"Peyton..."

"I have a lot of work to do here." She said in dismissal.

"I'm sorry." Mac walked out of the morgue and saw you walking with Stella, typing on your cell phone. Seeing how preoccupied you were, Stella moved you out of the way before you could walk into a door that was opening.

"You really need to take a technical class or something." Stella shook her head with a smile.

"Why would you put someone through such horrendous torture?"

"It won't be that bad."

"Not me. The teacher." You nudged her gently, both laughing as you stepped into the elevator.

The third and last time it happened, the case was over, and he went down to the morgue to speak to Peyton. When she explained how hurt she felt, he reached for her and closed his eyes when your name left his lips.

"I'm sorry." Mac walked out of the morgue and headed back to the lab. Stella was leaving her office for the night when they crossed paths.

"Hey, any plans for tonight? That new diner opened a few blocks from here. You could take Peyton for dinner. Or breakfast." She corrected after checking her watch.

"Actually...we broke up."

Her eyes widened, "What? When? Why?"

Mac kept his voice low as he explained the multiple slip-ups where he called her by your name, and Stella listened, nodding with a frown.

"How long have you felt this way about her?"

Mac lightly shrugged his shoulders, a sigh leaving his lips.

"You should tell her."

"What if she doesn't feel the same way? I am the boss. And I don't want to make it awkward and disrupt the team." Mac replied.

"You'll never know if you don't ask." She reasoned, placing a hand on his arm before heading to the elevator.

Mac sighed as she left, walking away to his office. He packed his briefcase, and twenty minutes later, he was leaving the lab when he saw you looking around your office, tidying up your desk in the hopes of finding something.

Mac observed for a moment before deciding he had nothing to lose. He knocked on your door, lingering in the doorway as you met his gaze. A smile formed on your lips that almost made him forget why he was here.

"Hey, Mac! Heading out?"

He cleared his throat, nodding. "Uh, yeah. Did you lose something?"

"My glasses." You paused when his lips twitched in amusement. "What?"

Mac pointed to his head, and you reached up, finding your glasses on top of your head. You closed your eyes, blushing in embarrassment as you placed your glasses in your handbag.

"Do you want to grab breakfast?" He asked. "There's a new diner open on fifth."

You nodded, "I'd love to." A smile formed on your lips as you picked up your briefcase and placed your handbag over your shoulder, following him to the elevator.

In the early hours of the morning, you went to the diner on fifth, and Mac brought up the case over breakfast in an attempt to return to common ground, both relieved it was over. He didn't want to ask too many questions about your personal life. But you broke down the wall between boss and subordinate with ease, flashing him a smile and asking, "So what does the great Mac Taylor do when he isn't solving cases?"

Mac quickly grew comfortable, relaxing so much he even undid the buttons of his blazer - as most relaxed you'd ever seen him. A sight you decided you would like to see more often as he held the door open for you on the way home, a smile on his lips.

It became a regular occurrence after cases. You and Mac would celebrate with breakfast or dinner depending on when you left the lab after finishing paperwork, sometimes ordering takeout while working side by side as you worked to complete the reports. You always respected his rank out in the field, but in the lab when you were alone, you both let down your guard.

Weeks had gone by but Mac was still uncertain about entering a relationship with you, his only concern being the team if things didn't work out. Yet he couldn't imagine why, because you were a brilliantly beautiful CSI and he had fallen in love with you without even realizing it. So he decided to play the long game, taking the time to let the lines blur on their own, learning more about you, and spending more time with you outside of working hours in the hopes that it would lead to a long successful relationship.

After a shootout downtown, you took three shots to the vest and Mac forgot all of his hesitations as he walked by where you were being checked over by a paramedic, checking you over for injuries as he headed towards a detective.

"What in God's name were you thinking?"

You looked at him in surprise, as did many others who turned towards the scene as Mac confronted the detective for putting two of his CSIs in harm's way.

You knew Mac was protective of his team, but the look in his eyes told you it was more than that. After sending you and Danny to the lab, he stayed with the others to sweep the scene for evidence.

Mac didn't return until several hours later and you looked at the door when he knocked. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, "The vest took all of it. Some bruising, but hey, I did get shot." You shrugged off, attempting to lighten the mood with a smile.

Mac sighed as he entered your office, closing the door, and you saw how weary he looked.

"Are you okay?"

"You got shot, and you're worried about me?"

"I always worry about you." You placed your pen down and took off your glasses as you turned your chair to give him your full attention.

His gaze fell to the floor as he swallowed his nerves and met your gaze when he summoned the strength to admit, "I always worry about you."

You walked towards him and placed your hands on his biceps, "I'm fine. I can't deny I'm a little more motivated than usual." You squeezed his arms gently, "But I'm fine. Promise."

Mac nodded slowly, covering your left hand with his right hand. "When I got the call, all I could think was - I don't think I could survive it. Losing you."

Your eyes became teary from his confession and you kissed his cheek, wrapping your arms around him.

"I'm not going anywhere." You whispered.

Mac held you closer as you rested your head on his shoulder. When you pulled away moments later he noticed your gaze flicker to his lips briefly before quickly meeting his gaze. It was all Mac needed as he placed a hand on your cheek and kissed you tenderly.

Your eyelashes fluttered as you closed your eyes, leaning into him as you cupped his neck. You pulled away and his hands held your waist as you both took a moment to catch your breath.

"I have a confession to make." You whispered.

Mac held his breath until you continued.

"I've wanted to do that for a while."

He exhaled, a smile forming on his lips as he said, "Yeah? Me too."

You left the lab earlier that night, deciding to take the paperwork to Mac's apartment, picking up takeout on the way. And as he looked at your head resting on his shoulder as you both read the files on your laps, your suit pants and blouse were forgotten on the bedroom floor, wearing one of his shirts while he wore striped pajama pants and plain white t-shirt, Mac did not know how he survived playing the long game, but being here, living this moment with you, it was all worth it.

#mac taylor #mac taylor x reader #csi new york

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thinkingaboutbetterdays · 1 year ago

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moving on and letting go. ( mac taylor x reader )

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Mac was an experienced and respected detective who commanded the respect of his team. He was charismatic, intelligent, and had an air of authority that captivated those around him. You admired Mac not only for his professional prowess but also for his kindness and unwavering support. For six months, you longed for his attention, hoping that one day, he would notice your feelings.

One night, a year after you joined the team while you were leaving the lab after a long day, it happened. Mac caught up with you at the elevator, and as you discussed the case that had been disturbing and, at times, felt hopeless, he expressed his admiration for your sharp instincts and unwavering determination as you carried out your duties with unmatched passion and dedication. Taking the chance, you asked him out for a drink, and from there, your relationship grew in ways you had often daydreamed of.

When you first joined the lab and began to learn and form friendships with the team it was Danny who told you about Claire’s death and you couldn’t imagine moving on from such a trauma and had seen Mac go on dates, struggling to move on from the tragic end of his previous romance. He had never truly let go of Claire, and her memory lingered in the depths of his mind.

When the phone rang that evening you knew it was Mac on the other end, and knew your intimate plans were going to be set aside for a case. You had canceled or rearranged plans in previous relationships, one of the downfalls of being a CSI but dating Mac you were learning how it felt to be drinking alone, the excitement fading into disappointment.

However, cracks soon began to show. Mac kept his distance in the lab, even going as far as to remove your hand from his cheek when Stella entered the room. You were hurt by his actions, and Mac continued to keep your relationship out of the lab. However, when you were alone, his tone shifted, and his eyes held emotions you believed were reserved for you. But you had known him long enough to know Mac still loved his ex-fiancée Claire and always would love her in some sense, but when he mumbled her name in his sleep, it was the first time you doubted how much he cared about you and if he was truly ready to move on. One evening, during a particularly stressful case, Mac called to cancel your plans to have dinner together which was fine, but when he called you by his exes name, it cut deep into your heart, and although you knew it was an innocent mistake, it only cemented the idea in your mind that Mac was still in love with Claire, and if he was haunted by her, how could he love you?

"Let me guess, you caught a cold one and can't make it, but you love me and will make it up to me when the case is over?"

You weren't mad at him for canceling, but the mistaken identity a few nights before had earned your avoidance tactics in the office, although Mac hadn’t seemed to notice or at least he hadn’t said anything about it, and the thought that he cared for you so little, only drove the knife deeper into your heart.

"Am I really that predictable?"

"Yes, but I'll let it go."

"I'm sorry about tonight. I was looking forward to it."

You smiled softly, "Me too.”

The words left him before he could process them, “I love you, Claire.”

Now, faced with his unintentional slip of the tongue, Mac felt a mix of regret and confusion. He realized that calling you by Claire’s name had created an unexpected barrier between you both at that moment, feeling it instantly.

This was not the first time hearing him say 'I love you’, but the sentiment lost all meaning when it was followed by her name.

“I’m sorry -”

“I better check on dinner.” You sighed, “Night, Mac.”

You ended the call and looked around his apartment, lifting the glass of wine on the kitchen counter to your lips. You had never felt uncomfortable in his place, as if you didn't belong there until that night, so you fled the apartment and slept in your own place for the first time in weeks.

Determined to make amends, Mac mustered up the courage to confront you about his mistake. He arrived home in the early hours of the morning, expecting, or rather hoping to find you there, but when he saw dinner wrapped and waiting for him, and his bed empty he knew you had gone home. He sighed as he heated the dinner you had taken from your grandmother’s recipes and as he sat in the quiet apartment, with only the faint sounds of the city to keep him company, Mac’s guilt grew and he debated calling you but it was nearing 2 am and he didn't want to wake you.

That night you began to scrutinize every second of your relationship with Mac. Why didn’t he want the team to know you were dating? Why did he keep calling you Claire? Did he only say I love you so he could imagine he was saying it to her?

While Mac pondered his accidental slip of the tongue, looking at photographs of Claire he realized he had unintentionally let his unresolved feelings for Claire influence his actions. He put away all of Claire’s pictures, before finally, reluctantly, going to bed. He looked over at the empty space beside him with a sigh, missing the way you, even when you were fast asleep, would immediately curl into his arms.

The next day Mac entered the lab determined to find you and apologize, only to find out that you were called with Flack to a crime scene ten minutes ago. He tried throughout the day to find time to speak to you, searching the lab when his conscious wouldn’t allow him to focus on the paperwork on his desk, but each time you were nowhere to be found. And after the third time, Mac concluded that you were avoiding him.

He knew you would turn up eventually and worked on an experiment for a case he was investigating and after forty minutes you entered while his back was turned, greeting Danny who was also working in the lab. You paused when Mac turned and knew from the slight raise of his eyebrow that he knew you were actively avoiding him at all costs.

“Can we talk?”

You glanced at Danny who looked between you both and knew he would have many questions later. You nodded your head and Mac followed you out of the room, and as you were walking down an empty hallway you began to relay findings by the medical examiner about your current case until Mac decided what he needed to say couldn’t wait any longer.

“My vic died from a shotgun wound leaving a cookie cutter shape behind.”

“Caused by pellet separation.”

“Peyton said it’s an indicator of a close-range shot. Add it to the wadding in the wounds - she estimated four feet or less. I think the victim fought off the shooter -”

Mac held your arm gently and you looked at the ground, fearing what was to come, sure it was going to be the end of your relationship.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.”

You nodded slightly, swallowing the lump in your throat as you met his gaze.

“I’m sorry for what happened. I want to talk maybe over lunch or coffee."

As the days turned into weeks, Mac made a genuine effort to rectify his past actions. He showered you with kindness, support, and understanding. He went above and beyond to prove that you were the one he truly wanted by his side and how grateful and lucky he felt that you were. Together, you worked on cases, shared countless conversations, and gradually built a bond stronger than ever before.

Alhough you were hurt, you still appreciated his honesty and vulnerability. Deep down, you cherished the hope that Mac could eventually see you for who you truly were—a woman who cared deeply for him. But for now, you believed you needed to go your separate ways.

He frowned as he began to speak, but you beat him to it. "I always wondered why you didn't want anyone knowing we were together. But I did a lot of thinking last night, and it is unfair to me and to you to start something now when you're not ready." He kept silent as you continued, "I love you. But I can't go on like this anymore, Mac."

"I'm sorry." He began. "I kept a distance between us at work because I'm also your boss and people would talk, and I was trying to prevent you getting hurt. I know I failed, I hurt you and I'm sorry. I can do better. I will do better if you give me one more chance. That's all I'm asking."

You stared at him, tears falling down your cheeks and shaking your head. Before Mac could step away, you stepped forward to place a hand on his cheek. And Mac glanced away briefly, wanting to prolong the moment you broke up with him as he was sure it was coming. However, now that you understood, now that he had explained, you were overwhelmed by your love for the detective and didn't care who knew it, proving so when you kissed him.

When you broke away for air, Mac held your arms as his eyes bore into yours, promising he would make it up to you. And after informing you that he had stored Claire's photographs away, he was already off to a good start.

In the beginning, you were torn between your love for Mac and the fear of being hurt, cautiously allowed yourself to be vulnerable once again. And although he called you 'Claire' once more for the final time, you saw the genuine changes in him, witnessed his growth, and realized that sometimes, love requires forgiveness and patience. Through the ups and downs, your relationship blossomed, transcending the boundaries of a professional partnership.

You held his gaze for a moment before looking away as you attempted to hold back your tears. "I don't think that's a good idea, Mac."

In the end, you and Mac discovered that true love isn't always straightforward. It can be messy, filled with mistakes, and past baggage. But with open hearts and a willingness to grow, you found solace in each other's arms.

#mac taylor #mac taylor x reader #csi new york

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