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intergalacticfop · 3 years ago

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Muskrat fur cuffs and the North American fur trade

In this post, I am focusing my research on the fur trade up to the mid 18th century. On a superficial level, this is because the armlets in question are based on a 1732-35 painting. But, more importantly, any attempt to expand beyond this using this format would be far too limited to responsibly grapple with the history. In addition, the end of the French and Indian wars in 1763 resulted in changing fur trade dynamics which would not be easily integrated into the research I have been able to do. There are many facets I had to leave out like religion, trading posts, and more, simply because a comprehensive history of the fur trade, even before 1763, is a book topic, not an Instagram one. For this post, I chose to focus largely on the material aspect--tangible goods and how they were experienced by Indigenous communities as both suppliers of pelts and consumers of trade items. The latter slides will also look into human relationships and enduring consequences as much as space will allow.

“Indigenous” in this post is a catch-all descriptor that tries to encompass a vast variety of different nations who had varying contacts and concerns within the early fur trade. In the north, Hudson’s Bay Company traded primarily with Cree, Dene, Inuit, and Assiniboine groups (Chan 79). The Great Lakes region was dominated by Anishinaabe groups, including the Ojibwe, Odawa, and Potawatomi (Warren 124). In the Ohio River Valley, trade was largely divided among the Miami, Wyandot, and Shawnee (Sleeper-Smith, Indigenous Prosperity 95). Additional fur trading occurred along the southern British colonies as well, but I did not find scholarship that has covered it to the same extent. The history of the North American fur trade, at least in its earlier decades, challenges the paternalistic idea that Indigenous groups were helpless against the arrival of Europeans and their trade goods, as if European culture was so potent that mere proximity was enough to degrade centuries-old traditions. Rather, Indigenous peoples used their knowledge of the land, access to pelts, and kinship networks to enter into the trade on their own terms and use it to further their own material and cultural ends.

While the fur trade was dominated by beaver pelts, Native American trappers caught and traded a variety of pelts. Muskrat made up a fairly minor part of the overall trade, but still had moments of demand. In the Ohio River Valley, the muskrat fur trade grew as a result of beaver pelt oversupply in the late 17th century. Between 1696 and 1716, indigenous peoples in the valley developed a fur trade that focused on pelts like muskrat, otter, raccoon, and marten. These pelts had become more valuable as trade goods, and more prized in the European market, because of the drop in beaver prices (Indigenous Prosperity 192-194). Further north, the Hudson’s Bay Company acquired an estimated 6000-7000 pelts annually between 1710 and 1725, 15,200 pelts in 1739 and 24,600 pelts in 1750 (Obbard 1015). Notably, this rise towards the middle of the 18th century corresponds to both an overall boom in the fur trade in the 1730s, and a drop in beaver trade by 1750, both factors that would encourage the trapping of muskrat (Carlos 111-112).

European traders were highly sensitive to the material preferences of their counterparts. Indigenous trappers and their families had very specific standards for trade goods. Cloth is the most significant example of this. European textile mills produced cloth specifically for Native consumers, with close attention to color, pattern, and weight (Levine). The importance of cloth also highlights the extent to which the European goods provided in the trade shifted fairly quickly from utilitarian goods to luxury items. Silver, for instance, was in such high demand even as early as the late 17th century that it actually endangered the currency supply in New France as French traders sought to melt down silver coins into tradeable items (Indigenous Prosperity 193). For Indigenous artisans, especially women, this influx of luxury European goods offered opportunities to enhance their own artistry. Native women used cloth and its attendant sewing implements, beads and trim, to create elaborate beadwork and patterns on clothing, creating exquisite wearable artwork with deeply meaningful expressions of their own cultures (Indigenous Prosperity 175). Indigenous relationships with European trade goods were highly transformative. Even old kettles were taken apart and transformed into jewelry and other items of personal adornment. Indigenous consumers readily adapted trade goods into their own cultures, rather than performing a simple 1:1 replacement of traditional goods and ways of life for European ones.

In 1852, William Whipple Warren wrote a history of the Ojibwe, his mother’s people, based on oral histories he collected. The accounts in this history accord with a general impression that the fur trade in the 17th and 18th centuries was actively managed by and productive for the indigenous participants, rather than reducing Native peoples to mere clients of European trading houses. The book includes several anecdotes that depict the fur trade as a way for the Ojibwe to further their own personal and national goals, especially in relation to other Indigenous groups. One story recounts an Ojibwe hunter who, after his family was massacred by enemy O-dug-am-ee (Fox/Meskwaki), trapped for pelts until he had enough to convince the French to help him get revenge (Warren 153). In instances like this, European traders were used as tools by indigenous operators rather than the other way around. The Ojibwe also used the fur trade for their own territorial ends. Through trade, they acquired weapons with which to fight against the Dakota/Santee Sioux, pushing them out of favorable grounds (Warren 160, 178). The Ojibwe thus gained yet more opportunities to trap valuable pelts for the fur trade (Warren 126-127). In this instance, as in many others, the fur trade with Europeans had markedly different effects on different Indigenous nations.

The histories also specifically highlight the difference between French and English traders, praising the French for their respect of Ojibwe customs and integration into Ojibwe communities, which later English and American settlers bypassed in favor of assimilation and domination (Warren 132). Successful integration into Native communities and kinship networks was crucial for the success of early European fur traders. For one thing, European traders were largely dependent on Indigenous communities to provide them with food (Sleeper-Smith, Women Kin & Catholicism 429). Indigenous women in particular attained importance for their role in agricultural production and through their ability to create profitable trade relationships for both sides through marriage (Women Kin & Catholicism 430). Warren’s history gives an example of the centrality of women in the fur trade when he mentions the Ojibwe wife of French trader Jean Baptiste Cadotte, who was notable for the influence she could sway over her extended family (Warren 213). The influence from these kinship networks enabled Cadotte to convince the Ojibwe of Lake Superior to stay out of Pontiac’s rebellion, keeping them from being destroyed like some other tribes that had gotten involved in European wars (Warren 211).

An overview of this trade, no matter how general, still has to acknowledge the enduring negative consequences that have been wrought by the presence and encroachment of white colonists into Indigenous spaces. The North American fur trade evolved into something much more exploitative with the European occupation of Indigenous peoples’ traditional territories and the proliferation of unfair treaties. For instance, the accounts of the early fur trade in Warren’s oral history of the Ojibwe were colored by the tellers’ awareness of the negative impact that contact with European settlers had ultimately caused by the 19th century. Guns and alcohol are singled out as the most significant trade goods, reflecting the compounding detrimental effect that these items had Native populations in later decades (Warren 119). In addition, even benign contact with European groups carried exposure to devastating diseases like smallpox. The disruptions caused to Indigenous communities by disease, warfare, and European settlement affected traditional supplies and made them more reliant on a fur trade that was increasingly stacked against indigenous traders.

A 1972 documentary called “The Other Side of the Ledger: An Indian View of the Hudson's Bay Company” describes how the Hudson Bay Company exploited Indigenous fur traders into the modern day. The company traded for furs on unequal terms, and Indigenous trappers were unable to try to trade elsewhere for more favorable terms because for many remote communities, the Hudson Bay Company stores were the only nearby sources of food. These supplies were sold at high mark-ups, forcing customers to buy on credit. This crediting system kept Indigenous communities in perpetual debt to the Hudson Bay Company, as their principal provider of food and buyer of pelts. The particular involvement of the Hudson Bay Company in operating these stores ended in 1987 (Gismondi), but even today food insecurity remains high among Native families living on reservations, owing to limited and expensive groceries and low incomes. The early years of the fur trade held promise as a zone of cultural and economic exchange in which Indigenous participants were often equal, at times dominant, partners in trade. Nevertheless, contact with European traders initiated a perpetual drive for settlement, territorial expansion, and the attendant marginalization of Native peoples in their own lands by European colonizers.

Works Cited:

Carlos, Ann M., and Frank D. Lewis. Commerce by a Frozen Sea: Native Americans and the European Fur Trade. University of Pennsylvania Press, 2010. http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt3fhbsp.

DeFalco, Martin and Willie Dunn, dir. The Other Side of the Ledger: An Indian View of the Hudson’s Bay Company. 1972; National Film Board of Canada. https://www.nfb.ca/film/other_side_of_the_ledger/.

Gismondi, Melissa. “The untold story of the Hudson’s Bay Company.�� Canadian Geographic.May 2, 2020. https://www.canadiangeographic.ca/article/untold-story-hudsons-bay-company.

Levine, Mary Ann. “The Fabric of Empire in a Native World: An Analysis of Trade Cloth Recovered from Eighteenth-Century Otstonwakin.” American Antiquity 85, no. 1 (2020): 51–71. doi:10.1017/aaq.2019.81.

Obbard, Martyn E. et. al, “Furbearer Harvests in North America.” 1987. In Wild Furbearer Management and Conservation in North America, edited by M. Novak, J.A. Baker, M.E. Obbard, B. Malloch, 1007-1034. Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources, 1999. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/275353911_Furbearer_Harvests_in_North_America_1600-1984

Sleeper-Smith, Susan. Indigenous Prosperity and American Conquest: Indian Women of the Ohio River Valley, 1690-1792. Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 2018. Accessed August 11, 2021. http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.5149/9781469640600_sleeper-smith.

Sleeper-Smith, Susan. "Women, Kin, and Catholicism: New Perspectives on the Fur Trade." Ethnohistory 47, no. 2 (Spring, 2000): 423-452.

Smith, David Chan. "The Hudson's Bay Company, Social Legitimacy, and the Political Economy of Eighteenth-Century Empire." The William and Mary Quarterly 75, no. 1 (2018): 71-108. doi:10.5309/willmaryquar.75.1.0071.

Warren, William Whipple. History of the Ojibways: Based upon Traditions and Oral Statements. Saint Paul, Minn.: Minnesota Historical Society, 1885. https://www.loc.gov/item/rc01001074/.

Further Reading

Allard, Amélie. “Relationships and the Creation of Colonial Landscapes in the Eighteenth-Century Fur Trade.” American Indian Quarterly 44 (2020): 149–70. doi:10.5250/amerindiquar.44.2.0149.

Nassaney, Michael S. "Decolonizing Archaeological Theory at Fort St. Joseph, An Eighteenth-Century Multi-Ethnic Community in the Western Great Lakes Region." Midcontinental Journal of Archaeology 37, no. 1 (2012): 5-23. http://www.jstor.org/stable/24571259.

Snow, Deborah. "Impact of the French Fur Trade on the Lives of Native Women in the Great Lakes Region during the Seventeenth, Eighteenth, and Nineteenth Centuries." Order No. EP77052, University of Michigan-Flint, 1999.

#long post #fur #colonial history #costume history #fashion history #indigenous history #historical costuming #my costumes

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tsuki-sennin · 3 years ago

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It's a lovely morning in Rider Japan, and you are a horrible Vice. I'm exaggerating, of course, but this should be a fun and goofy episode, considering all the revelations in the plot and how silly these characters are.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Ghost Ikki!

-It must feel so weird to have a guy just... in your orifices.

-And I don't mean it in a sexual way, I just mean like... in you.

-So, you're saying whoever made the Rolling Stamp is smarter than you, George?

-Oh god, experimentation.

-At last, after 10000 years! I'm free! Time to conquer earth!

-#IkkiFromTheEar

-No! Goddamn!

-Man, all this makes me wonder what kind of horrific thoughts lie within the immortal and all-knowing mind of Lovekov.

-"Oh haha, that's crazy, haha!" says Olteca, the lying little bitch.

-But see, that's why he's a good villain. He puts Jeanne and Live on equal threat level, he doesn't underestimate anyone.

-Oh yeah, last week! Kuuki Kaidan! They were important, weren't they?

-The most "Manzai" content I really watch is the Touhou M-1 Grand Prix or whenever the art form happens to show up in whatever anime I'm watching, but Kuuki Kaidan... those guys have great comic timing, very talented fellas. I probably wouldn't do it myself, especially since I played a certain Haru and Haru minigame in Yakuza 5 and by the time I finally perfected it I wanted Haruka's slap to spin Haruo's head like a top.

-Wow, I guess nobody really minds Vice hanging out in public. That's nice, I suppose????

-Ladies and gentlemen... the Weeknd! Er, Weekend Organization!

-You motherfuckers are mad sus.

-Yeah that's right Sakura, don't trust 'em!

-Ah, that's nice! Tamaki's got a job!

-Hey, Hikaru-kun! What're you and your creepy ass parents trying to accomplish? By all means, fuck Fenix, they're assholes, but I'd appreciate a bit of transparency!

-Waste them motherfuckers!

-She speaks! :o

-DON'T HURT THE BABY

-Okay, so... that implies you're protecting him.

-JACKAL TIME YES

-Idk if I've said before, but I love Live's Jackal Genome suit, it's so goddamn cool looking.

-Oh, he got rolled, ok

-And she go poof.

-KAGERO MY MAN

-Are we gonna see all four TwoSiDriver suits in one day?

-You're only winning because you have hax enabled Olteca, get over yourself :<

-See, Kagero's handling you pretty quick-like.

-It'd be great to see the two of you become proper friends, Dai-chan!

-I see this tailing mission George is on is taking the Ubisoft approach. Invisible if you're like ten yards away and being very obvious, absolutely and unbelievably conspicuous if you're nine yards away being as quiet as possible.

-Sakura, please don't phrase it like that, he's going through it.

-Taiko no Tatsujin! Imagine if he was just doing Megalovania, I think I would've shat myself. I think Ode to Joy's a fine public domain pick though, it's a nice callback to Build.

-...are we gonna see a Hibiki Vistamp sometime soon?

-Protecc the Ikki

-Yeah that's right, phone boy! Your hypocrisy isn't appreciated around here!

-Yep, the manager lady's definitely the contractor. ...I forgot her name, I'm very sorry.

-Gooooo, Sakura!

-Gundephone Detective, Igarashi Ikki. Coming to HBO Max, Summer 2022.

-Double Demon Delight!

-Goddamn, that's a good jingle.

-OOooooogh, pile drive that bitch.

-Oh I get it. Roll. Like the stamp do.

-Ohhhh coooooool, the Ohinbuster's still got finishers!

-#NiceVice!

-So, did they choose not to let Vice keep the phone? It is a pretty compact weapon, I think it'd have been pretty helpful.

-Oh hey, you guys!

-Mayu-chan, I'm sorry I forgot your name! Really, I should be checking the names often, but then I run the risk of spoilers and then...

-Aww, poor lass.

-Make 'er proud, lads.

-He's all spooky now.

-Oh boy, George sounds like he's gonna get real English-swear happy soon. I know he's not gonna shout fuck or anything, but

-An evil mask man!

-KARIZAKI :O

-Is this George's dad? He's the only other Karizaki we know of, so he kinda has to be. I mean, I don't think there's a possibility of that being his grandma or anything, but...

-Ah, we're addressing the disappearing next episode! ...it seems a bit more lighthearted than I was expecting, so I assume this means we're having a moment.

-Oh, quick announcement! I'm going to be getting an AO3 account soon! Where hopefully I'll be able to do more actual fanfic writing, so that should be fun! Tune in at around March 1st!

#revive the vice: imprinted like stamps and fossils #kamen rider #kamen rider revice #revice spoilers #tsuki talks

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faketextsfromlastmight · 6 years ago

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Best of tags #09

A compilation

@awesome-milkshake-blog on Iida, Bakugou and Kirishima: (Link)

#i hope their dynamics are more relaxed like this#in their second or third year

Plot twist: All For One slips in his jail’s cell shower and dies. The rest of the series is just a sitcom.

@jay-catsby on Aizawa complaining about politics at breakfast: (Link)

#hfjdjshdhs hes that guy in the dining hall who you overhear getting too real at 8am

He’s the guy who brings up child labour laws when you receive a pair of Nike shoes on Chritsmas morning. Just kidding, he’s not that socially obtuse. But a lot of characters mentions he’s very critical of society and we see in the “Vigilantes” spin-off that he had an... interesting relationship with law enforcement. My guess is that he used to be overly political but that he mellowed out over the years.

@awesome-milkshake-blog on Bakugou wanting Todoroki’s attention: (Link)

#thats it#thats the sports festival

Yeah, Todoroki’s and Bakugou’s relationship (or, at the present, the lack thereof) is definitely a development I’m excited for in the upcoming chapters of the manga.

So far Bakugou pretends to be indifferent towards his classmates’ opinions of him (although it’s painfully clear he’s actually obsessed with the way people perceive him and reacts violently whenever things don’t go his way). There are exceptions, however. He definitely changes behavior around Kirishima (to whom he listens more) and Deku (whom he can’t help antagonizing), but Todoroki is maybe the third classmate towards whom he shows interest. I think Todoroki represents a social class in which Bakugou wants to fit in, so naturally he can’t help showing some partiality. Todoroki is also one of the few classmates Bakugou feels could beat him one-on-hand, so there’s that. Basically Todoroki was born in the superhero scene and will undoubtedly be a superhero (he got into U.A. through recommendation, unlike Bakugou who had to pass an exam), he’s a natural professional. As much as he hates to admit it, Bakugou wishes he were in Todoroki’s place.

However so far Todoroki acts very indifferent towards Bakugou’s antics. My guess is that he dismisses him as a petulant man-child and finds him too unpleasant to try to build a friendship. But that could change.

Horikoshi has already laid the ground for deeper interaction when he put Bakugou and Todoroki in the kindergarten arc. We know that Bakugou knows Todoroki was horrifically abused by his superhero father (although Todoroki doesn’t know Bakugou knows that). He looks uncharacteristically disturbed when he overhears that. Bakugou idealized the superhero scene and learning of Todoroki’s terrible childhood is his first glance at the dark side of superheroics. We do know that Bakugou respects Todoroki’s outlook somewhat because he begrudgingly obeyed Todoroki when he told him how to handle little kids. Bakugou was willing to use violence to discipline them because that’s the way he was raised, but Todoroki reminded him that there was a better way of doing that.

My guess is that this is groundwork for how Todoroki and Bakugou are going to grow closer. Horikoshi didn’t picture Mitsuki hitting Bakugou for nothing, it’s a way to explain Bakugou’s irrationally violent nature. Although Bakugou’s childhood was better than Todoroki’s, his parents failed him and he needs to realize that to become a better person. I guess a deeper Bakugou/Todoroki conversation on child abuse is upcoming. Their emotional journeys complement each other. My hope is that Bakugou, following his conversation with Todoroki, will call out his mother on her casual violence (and his father on the way he enables it). The reason Bakugou acts so horribly is that the violence he experienced at home is framed as something normal. Bakugou is unable to recognize the harm he does to others because he can’t even realize the harm he suffered himself. Once Bakugou comes to terms with the damage his parents did to him, he will be able to acknowledge the damage he did to other people (such as Deku when they were in middle school). His interactions with Todoroki will be key in this development.

@greenvalleybroccoli on Bakudeku: (Link)

#all might would never ship bakudeku though

I don’t know, he seems pretty invested into the Bakugou/Midoriya rivalry in general. He clearly seems potential in their teamwork. Personally I think Boku No Hero Academia will end on Bakugou and Midoriya becoming a superhero duo in the same agency. The status of All Might as the symbol of peace is constantly decried in-universe as problematic because it’s too much to handle for one person. Furthermore it tends to evaluate raw strength as what it takes to be a hero rather than good behavior. So in order to truly change things for the better, I think All Might will not just choose Midoriya as a successor, but also Bakugou. The new “symbol of peace” will be a duo rather than a single hero, and their true superpower will be teamwork. Bakugou is used as a foil to Midoriya because it’s a yin/yang relationship. Duality is often a form of unity.

@demiboydorito on Kirishima eating a diamond: (Link)

oh god i sure hope op meant fantasy au bc the image of a 15 yr old child just c h o m p i n g a DIAMOND is killin me

You forget Kirishima has a hardening quirk. The joke is that his body is so resistant he can actually munch and digest diamonds. Maybe he’s part Goron?

@xxwolfydoodlezuwuxx on Todoroki hanging out with Shinsou: (Link)

#todo no-#being emo with shinsou is not gonna help u man.

Shinsou’s not emo, he’s old-school goth. His design is based on the character of Cesare from “The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari” (a movie about brainwashing/hypnotism).

@principle-of-parsimony on Monoma copying Shigaraki’s quirk: (Link)

He'd only decay if he copied the power from like, a High-Five, since all five fingers need to be touching the object in question in order to make it decay. Now Shigaraki though, if Monoma copies his quirk and isn't careful when copying it, Shigaraki himself may start to disintegrate.

What if they touch each other at the same time? Do the quirks cancel each other out? Or do they both decay?

@paradis-smash on Bakugou’s future hero name: (Link)

#if his hero name is Kacchan i fucking quit!#I'm kidding#but please don't let it be Kacchan

I’m sorry to alarm you but I’m actually pretty sure that’s where the series is headed. Bakugou accidentally gave Midoriya his hero name (Deku), so there would be poetic justice in Bakugou embracing the name Midoriya uses for him (Kacchan). Bakugou’s arc seems to mostly revolve around him slowly realizing how his terrible behavior affects others and why it actually prevents him from progressing as a hero. His remedial internship at the kindergarten is actually all about that. Basically Bakugou is set back in his hero work by a massive P.R. problem. He’s not as approachable as Midoriya who just radiates positivity (like All Might). Actually most oh his hatred of Midoriya could stem from the internal realization that Deku’s personality is more suited to hero work than him. His aura of goodness makes Bakugou feel insecure in his own abilities. So he needs to get over that and try to learn from Midoriya, not only to imitate his social intelligence but also to realize his own qualities.

Bakugou probably hates that nickname but I don’t think he realizes it’s actually IRONIC. The “-chan” suffix is usually used by young women and children for people they find cute, but Midoriya actually finds Bakugou pretty macho and awe-inspiring. Calling “Kacchan” is his way of saying “you’re a badass, but you’re also my friend, and that makes me feel SAFE”. If Bakugou wants people to trust him more, choosing that cutesy nickname as his hero name would actually be a good P.R. move. It would subvert the expectations people have when his more irritable persona manifests.

@tis-i-the-frenchiest-fri on the eternal Endeavor debate: (Link)

Twice is probs arguing with himself in the background

It is a truth universally acknowledged that any panel of BNHA is automatically improved by a silhouette of Twive arguing with himself in the background.

@sassyakimichi on Endeavor’s dating preferences: (Link)

the last one I literally screamed "oH sHIT" so much for library discretion x-x

So now we can add “library discretion” to the list of things Endeavor’s ruined.

@missmarj on Shouto’s poem: (Link)

E. Coli and broccoli does not rhyme shouto but dammit that was beautiful

The poem as written is supposed to be bad so let’s all just pretend my mistake is actually Shouto’s!

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #best of tags #bnha shouto #bnha bakugou #bnha midoriya #bnha all might #bnah all for one #bnha kirishima #bnha endeavor #bnha twice #bnha shigaraki #bnha shinsou #the cabinet of dr. caligari #the cabinet of doctor caligari #bnha eraserhead

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mythicamagic · 6 years ago

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Saccharine - Kouyui oneshot

Writing commission for @s-e-kwan, thank you for another ^^

If you’d like to commission me to write something, just PM me and I’ll send you the details

---

Summary: Kou starts acting a little strange. And by strange, Yui means...nice?

Rated T

Fluffy but clingy/obsessive

“Gahhh crap, where is it, where is it?!”

“Uh, Mr. Mukami? The recording booth has only been booked for two hours, so if you could-“

“I know that!” Kou barked, glaring over his shoulder at the dumb record staff waiting behind the glass. He was supposed to be singing the lyrics of the new song he’d personally come up with. But he’d gotten a tad too eager and left without his lyric sheet that morning.

And Kou only had a brilliant memory when it came to remembering the juicy, dirty, cruel details about another person.

But math, history, lyrics? No dice.

“I have to go back home to get it,” he gritted out.

“What? But, Mr. Mukami-“

Storming out of the sound booth, Kou hurried down the hallway of the agency that had signed him. This sucked. This was not what a star did. Reaching the entrance of the building, he was halfway through texting for someone to come pick him up, when the Mukami’s signature sleek black vehicle pulled up outside.

Kou stopped, blinking.

The door opened, and a pale leg became visible first, before Yui ducked out, clutching a hot pink folder to her chest.

“Kou!” She breathed, eyes bright. A smile tugged at her mouth as she jogged up to him, skirts and light blonde locks fluttering in the breeze.

He stared.

“I brought this for you. I wasn’t sure if you had a copy,” she passed the folder to him containing the lyrics he’d worked on. “You must be busy working, so I won’t bother you. Just make sure to give it your all!” With that, she turned, waving. Not even wanting anything in return. “Good luck with the recording session!”

This caused the rusted gears turning in his head to abruptly stop. A Yui shaped wrench lodged in-between the metal.

He remembered purposefully getting her harassed by his fans and laughing, the look on her face as he’d inflicted terror after terror. But she was still smiling? Still being kind? Still…there. Kou drummed his fingers against his thigh, shifting on his heel as he came to a silent decision.

---

That evening, when she served him vongole bianco on top of everything else, Kou lifted his head. He took a seat beside her, despite not having done so in the past, and started eating with gusto.

The others blinked, refraining from comment. When Yui reached the end of her meal, she sighed with contentment.

“Ah, M neko-chan. Want seconds?” Kou asked.

That was odd. “Oh, no thank you,” Yui smiled politely.

“Noooo really, it’s fine~ you can have some of mine if you like?”

Yui’s eyes widened and she held up her hands. “But you love this food? I-it’s okay. I’m very full.”

Tilting his head slightly, the blonde nodded, continuing to eat. Everyone else glanced at each other, wondering what had gotten into the usual food hog.

---

Hearing a knock at her bedroom door, Yui opened it, her heart doing a funny thing in her chest.

“H-hello?”

Kou smiled widely at her, leaning closer. “Ne, I couldn’t sleep in my room. Mind if I come in here?”

Yes, she did mind, but Yui knew there was no choice involved. Keeping an uneasy smile plastered to her face, Yui stepped aside for him to enter.

Returning awkwardly to her bed, Yui squeaked when his body appeared behind her under the covers, pulling her back against him. Hot breath fanned into light blonde locks.

“Goodnight~” he crooned softly, nuzzling into her neck and promptly falling asleep. Yui blinked owlishly, laying within his arms for a long time and waiting for the inevitable. For the sharpness of his fangs.

But nothing came. Slowly, she relaxed and smiled in his hold.

---

A week later and Yui closed the fridge door, glancing at the blonde vampire who watched her attentively from the table. She jumped, having not noticed him. “K-kou? Don’t you have another recording session to get to? You know you… haven’t been writing lyrics like you usually do…”

“Huh?” He tilted his head, cat-like eyes gleaming. “Oh, that’s because I’m not going to record music anymore. I’m finalising my paperwork so that I can quit being an idol!”

“What? But why?”

Sharp fangs flashed. “Obviously it’s so I can spend all my time with you! Hehe~”

Yui blinked, tilting her head.

“Hey, there’s a film you’d like playing at that cinema we went to downtown. Want to go tomorrow?”

She nodded faintly, not really grasping his words as he started excitedly telling her what time they’d meet.

---

His behaviour became increasingly strange compared with Kou’s usual self. He followed her almost every-where, like a baby chick in need of attention. But no matter how much Yui engaged him in conversation, he didn’t seem satisfied. As though he were waiting for her to say something specific.

Eventually, Yui ran out of things to talk about and just continued studying in the living room, albeit awkwardly with his elbow touching hers. The subtle heat from his vampiric body always felt so close.

“Oi, Sow! I picked some vegetables for dinner,” Yuma padded in, grinning.

Rising from the table, Yui sent him a gentle smile. “That’s great! I’ll start preparing them.”

After she’d left the room, Yuma caught Kou’s eye. “What?”

His brother stared, a slight frown skittering over his features, before he gave a lop-sided grin. “Nothing~ just stay away from my girl. M’kay?”

For some reason, Yuma felt an instinct not to get into anything with him. Raising a brow, he tsked, leaving the room.

---

It was getting too much. Sweat broke out on her forehead. She twisted and turned within the cocoon of countless blankets and his stifling arms. Her lungs constricted, begging for air, even though she had a steady supply.

Shaking, bone-white fingers latched onto the thing crushing her in its embrace. She moulded her digits to the shape of Kou’s neck, wrapping her hands around him fully and resting her thumbs on his throat. Then, like a boa constrictor, she squeezed and squeezed and squeezed some more. Pressing her nails down, her thumbs sank in above his Adam’s apple, his form trembling and gasping around her- legs kicking out, hoarsely screaming-

Yui started awake, bolting upright and panting wildly. Shaking, she glanced down at Kou’s sleeping form, his arms still clinging on around her waist.

----

“You just need some space,” Ruki calmly advised that morning, making breakfast.

“But I don’t know how to do that without hurting Kou’s feelings. He seems troubled by something.”

He sighed, “he’s emotionally volatile to the point of fragility. Most likely he’s just experiencing tenderness for the first time and is now trying to replicate it, poorly, I might add. He’s not going to realise he’s doing something wrong if you keep enabling him.”

“I-I see. So if I just…try to get some space, Kou will go back to normal?” Yui murmured. She never thought she’d miss the old Kou, but thinking on it…he’d become someone she thought of often. Even at school, or brushing her hair. She’d wonder in passing how he was, what he was doing, if he were singing.

And if he was giving up singing for her, she didn’t want any part in enabling him further.

---

Ignoring his texts proved difficult, but Yui dodged replying to almost all of them throughout the day. Avoiding him was only possible for so long, as she took extra classes at school or hid in the library at lunch. When the school bell rang, the girl ducked onto a bus and exhaled with relief, riding on it until she reached the road outside the Mukami mansion and walking the rest of the way.

It occurred to her just how tamed she’d become if she weren’t taking the opportunity to run.

Feeling something wet land on her head, Yui glanced up, finding the skies rolling in grey and grim. Hurrying on, she made it inside before the heaven’s opened.

---

Kou hadn’t come back.

Hours had passed and the rain hadn’t stopped. Yui broke her unspoken vow not to text and sent one after the other, worriedly asking where he was.

Staying near the front door, she watched the droplets roll down the glass. The cold, clammy hands of dread grasped her heart.

Hearing the door close, she caught sight of a figure.

“Kou!”

Rushing forward, she ignored his soaked clothes and cupped his frozen cheeks, lifting his head and smoothing the wet locks away from his face when they plastered to damp skin.

“…You didn’t come,” he muttered in a subdued voice.

Yui stopped, blinking the tears from her eyes and bowing her head. The movie. “I-I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, not even as she took him into her arms, soaking herself in the process. Combing shaking fingers through his hair, Yui held onto him as though he were something fragile, not immortal.

“I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all,” his voice came again, slowly. “You didn’t respond to me the way I wanted, no matter how nice I was, you didn’t seem to…want me back. Why is that? Huh? Tell me. My head’s all screwed up and it’s your fault.”

Exhaling, she kept Ruki’s words in mind and stroked his hair. “I do want you Kou. Just not like that. I liked you when you were…yourself.”

“You did?”

“Mhm.”

“But I was an asshole?”

She blushed. “W-well…I wouldn’t describe you like that. The Kou I like is funny and a little selfish, but when he cares about things, he really commits to them, even if he says he doesn’t.”

“You’re kinda weird.” Kou mumbled, his hands resting on her waist pulling her in so that their hips met. “But…maybe, we can have a uh…do over?”

A relieved smile touched her lips. “I’d like that.”

“Okay. Go out with me, m’kay? And don’t ghost me this time.”

“I promise I’ll be there,” she said, before sneezing.

“Hehe. That’s your punishment for making an idol stand out in the rain,” he grinned, kissing her neck and nipping the skin harshly. “C’mon. Let’s go take a shower together.”

“Kou!” She gaped, swatting his arm lightly. When he gave an answering cruel laugh, she knew he’d returned to his normal self. Relief flooded her right down to her toes.

#kouyui #kou mukami #Yui komori #diabolik lovers #diahell #dialovers

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ifitaintme · 7 years ago

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G a m b l e

Bets | KakaSaku Month, Week 2 | A03 | FFN

Kakashi, as Sakura had discovered one fateful, rainy night sometime after she had turned 16 and joined her sensei for a celebratory drink, was a goofy drunk. Goofy to the extent that it enabled her and her team mates to exploit this man silly. For the past 18 months or so, Team 7 (namely Naruto and Sakura) had explored every angle possible about the extent to which Kakashi can go when intoxicated. The rest rarely did join (but not even the promise of getting Kakashi to finally pay some bills could fly over the head of the principled Yamato), Sai just seemed too confused most of the times to actively partake but on the days that Sakura and/or Naruto were sober, they’d have the indulgent heart to explain the humour behind their shenanigans to the boy.

Goofy isn’t to say that Kakashi giggled uncontrollably or became loose-lipped about his ideas and thoughts but get the man tiddly enough, and he just might agree to all the bets, conditions and promises they pressed onto his ear. When Team 7 had first made this discovery, every occasion called for drinks – successful missions, failed missions, completed missions, completed-but-bad missions, completed-and-not-so-difficult-but-the-team-liked-to-pretend-were-extremely-tough missions… Really, the list went on.

(Sakura wondered idly that some liver-functioning tests for her old sensei might not be such a bad idea...)

When more time had passed, and Sakura spent more nights carrying her exuberant and drunk sensei home because “she lived in his district anyways” and “she had more muscles than the whole of Team 7 put together”, Sakura grew more and more fond of the giddy Copy Ninja. Never had she ever thought that the man whose name was in almost every and all Bingo Books in almost every and all countries, would need frequent breaks every five minutes or so because too much treading on his stumbly feet made this man foolishly nauseous. After the seventh or eighth time that she had to walk him home and they’d stopped for breaks to sit on nearby footpaths, Sakura had managed to work up the courage to ask him to rest his head on her lap, so she could run her cool fingers through his hair in hopes of soothing the pain on his aching head.

And when even more time had passed and Kakashi began to trust her abilities to minimise his headaches, he had managed to mumble something with the likes of “I bet you’d make a good wife one day.”

The moment the words reached Sakura’s ears was the moment her fingers halted against his hair and her heart fluttered uncomfortably loudly and she hoped to dear God that Kakashi was drunk enough to not have noticed her lose her calm. She quickly raked her busy head to try and formulate a witty response to his comment. Much to her frustration, a satisfying enough sentence was just not coming to mind. Complete silence was not an option though…

“And I bet you’d make a troublesome husband one day” she replied, squinting to the side as she analysed her sentence and came to the conclusion that yes, indeed that is something a gay Shikamaru might have uttered in alternate universe.

“Ah yes. My antics may cause some tension. That tension may cause some arguments. Arguments may lead to headaches. And your headache minimising techniques may come in handy…” Kakashi drawled on.

“Be careful Sensei, the way you’re talking sounds like you’re entertaining the idea,” was Sakura’s reply. She may be over-reacting, obviously – she herself was also kind of drunk – but Kakashi’s words made it seem like, in another world, she’d be a wife and he’d be her husband.

And with that comment, Kakashi fell quiet and lifted his arm to touch the tip of her hairs that fell forward when she bowed her head to face him. Not a second later, he pulled his hand away and asked, “does it sound like such a bad idea?”.

Dammit. If Kakashi was proposing to her, this was not the way it was going to be – on the steps of Ino’s flower shop, with both counterparts considerably smashed.

A moment of silence ensued, and Sakura belatedly realised that a drunk Kakashi was not only a goofy Kakashi but that a drunk Kakashi was a Kakashi that disappeared in the face of light and sobriety. Sure, he’d remember the promises and the bets but when sober, he’d always manage to seem annoyed and put-off by his drunken actions. More often than not, he’d also manage to make Sakura feel quite immature and guilty too. (She’s sure he’d do the same with Naruto, but that kid was kind of clueless in picking up conversational cues). And it was with a heavy heart that Sakura decided to let this slide off her back. Holding Kakashi to his words and using them as a hint of what may lay in his dormant heart would only promise Sakura shame and pain for the future.

Heaving a sigh, Sakura shooed Kakashi off her lap. “I bet you can start walking again, come on now”, she said and hoped he’d drop the matter and stop ‘entertaining’ the impossible idea.

Much to her frustration, he continued as he grabbed Sakura’s elbow to stand himself up, “I bet we’d make a good pair. I wouldn’t have to step inside a hospital ever again, you could just heal me at home.”

To this Sakura scoffed, “I knew there had to be a very selfish and very Kakashi reason to your proposal”. Kakashi, having successfully stood up on his own two feet, made a show of striding ahead of Sakura.

“Proposal?” Kakashi quipped over his shoulder, dramatically. “That was hardly a proposal. I may be all cool and mysterious Sakura-chan but even I know how to woo a girl time and again.”

“Yes, but making a young and frail girl carry you home when you’re drunk hardly seems like wooing.”

“Careful now Sakura-chan. If I was sober I might have begun to think you wanted me to woo you,” he warned. He probably meant this as a joke, but Sakura decided that she didn’t really like when drunk, warm and open Kakashi made vague flirtatious passes at her. The fact that he smelled so welcoming didn’t really help matters either. Couldn’t he smell more like alcohol, dammit? she complained.

But Sakura was never quite good at holding her tongue when irked.

So, when her snappy and accusatory response of “I don’t know, but even drunk, I could swear that it was you who started all of this in the first place?” came, Kakashi decided to stop in his footsteps.

Belatedly he realised she wasn’t so fond of this topic. And his genius mind could only come to one conclusion about why his wittiest pupil let this particular topic of banter annoy her so early on in the making: maybe the longing stares he’d catch her giving him sometimes on tiring missions weren’t so much the result of lethargy as they were of longing. Kakashi’s subconscious had realised quite early on and it made him feel quite flattered even, but the day Sakura gave her heart to someone deserving was the day Naruto turned down Ramen.

It was dangerous for him to be drunk in her company. Inhibitions were good, and they helped preserve sanity and sought logic and when inhibitions were gone, it made Kakashi give in to the urge to be alone in Sakura’s company when she was slightly drunk too. To his annoyance, however, she never got drunk enough. And his conscience would argue that that was for the best.

A deep part of him was quite unimpressed with himself for taking advantage of his drunkenness to sprout whatever nonsense came to his mind. But a deeper and darker part of himself was pleased and craved further attention from her.

Sakura stepped beside him and shot him a look of concern thinking that he might have stopped midstep because he was feeling nauseous again.

But really, Kakashi stopped because her accusation hadn’t rung too far from the truth. So, when Sakura came forwards and her hand itched towards Kakashi’s elbow to support him, he pulled away sharply and said, “I can take it from here. It’s getting late, so you should just go home now. I’ll see you tomorrow Sakura.”

Sakura was too drunk to notice he was sobering up but not drunk enough to have ignored how hurt she felt by the simple action of him pulling away. He only had to move a certain way and it would make her ache in all the wrong ways.

“Don’t you wanna make some bets today Kakashi?” she called from behind him when he resumed his treading homewards. “We always make bets, don’t we? Isn’t that out tradition?” Sakura could tell she was babbling but whenever he pulled away from her like this, it was usually followed by days of cold shoulders from Kakashi and Sakura had decided last time that next time, she wouldn’t let the opportunity present itself.

“Do you really think it’s wise to do this right now?” Kakashi just really needed to leave before the situation advanced.

“Yes! Why are you being like this? Not two seconds ago we were laughing about marriage quirks!” Sakura felt her volume rise and something at the back of her mind reminded her that at late and quiet hours like this, a lot of people could hear a lot of things.

“So, you realise that that was a joke?” Kakashi’s tone sounded exasperated, making Sakura feel self-conscious and nervous. What did he mean by that? Was he being cruel again? She hoped she wouldn’t end up saying something regrettable.

“I can handle jokes Kakashi… I don’t think you can handle me though” too late, the words were out before her brain had even processed them.

Kakashi always strived with being one step ahead of everybody – an enemy, a friend, a comrade, his neighbours, their mothers and their cousins – it came as a perk of being a genius and whatnot. He hadn’t quite figured out if that’s what made him lazy or if it was his laziness that led to the development of that trait. Similarly, Kakashi liked his ability to see through Sakura without difficulty, but he disliked it immensely when she could do the same with him. (But isn’t that why he fell for her in the first place?)

When he started to move his feet again, Sakura was in front of him faster than the eyes could follow. “I won’t bug you after this,” she promised “but please, a bet is all I’m asking for” she begged and Kakashi grimaced when he realised he liked that tone.

Taking a step back to regain some distance between them again, Kakashi sighed and replied, “maybe we should stop with these…” but seeing the panic rise in Sakura’s face made him continue, “but one last bet sounds plausible” he finished.

Sakura released the breath she was holding with force and marvelled at the thought that it probably brushed past Kakashi’s face when she saw him squint. It gave her hope and satisfaction when he went awry around her, made her believe that one day, slowly but surely, his resolve would break.

She was glad. This gave her an idea. She wanted to place a bet but hadn’t really thought of anything but seeing his resolve weaken steadily inspired her endlessly (and she had to slow her excitable heart before it ran ahead of itself).

“I bet that you want me. I don’t know how much, and I don’t know if it’s as much as I want you, but I bet that you do anyway. No, don’t look away when I say that just please, hear me out” she galloped a gallon of air and continued, “I want to bet on your heart. If you truly don’t want me, then you won’t stop me in the two weeks that I am giving you where I will try my utmost best to move on and see other guys. If you win and you don’t hinder my dates or accept them and encourage them wholeheartedly then I lose, and I promise to never bring this up again.”

Sakura didn’t like making bold promises like that, her dislike having probably stemmed from her teammates' pesky obsession with the word. But Sakura was desperate and the premise of what might happen if she were to win was too tempting.

“But if you win?” Kakashi prompted.

“If I win and you lose, your heart is mine and you have to give it up without a second’s thought. In the two weeks, you cannot initiate any interaction between the two of us that stems deeper than just that of teammates. No lingering stares, hands and no extra effort in avoiding me, no nothing. You have to be normal and treat me like I am your friend – nothing more and nothing less.” By now, her sobriety was coming back and despite how steady her words sounded, her chest heaved with uneven breaths.

She wasn’t sure how Kakashi would respond and she held her breath. He could say the wrong thing and completely break her heart and she hadn’t prepared for that yet. When she woke that morning, she hadn’t anticipated that this is how her day was going to end.

But Sakura wasn’t quite sure what the right thing sounded like either.

Not until he sighed and stuffed his hands in his pocket, “Bets are… juvenile, don’t you think? Maybe our last one ever shouldn’t bear such heavy consequences. Why don’t we talk about this tomorrow when we’re both not so tired and under the influence?”

Damn him. Damn him! A right thing would’ve sounded like anything that wasn’t that. She could feel her own resolve waning, so she hurried and said, “No, Kakashi! Please don’t brush this off” and instantly hated how weak that sounded. No wonder he thought this juvenile.

“All it will take you is two weeks and I promise if you win, you’ll get exactly what you want. I will never bug you again. Doesn’t that tempt you?” She hoped he’d say no to the temptation part because saying yes, even if as a lie, would be a harsh and unbearable rejection.

Not as tempting as your bottom lip and how it flips out when you talk that way— “If I agree, there is no turning back Sakura.”

“Deal”, she said in a way that made Kakashi think that if he was blind, her response would’ve sounded like she’d just leapt.

“Deal”, he repeated. He performed some seals and said “I’ll see you around Sakura” as he disappeared into thin air, leaving Sakura by herself in the middle of the street.

Sakura continued to speak, even if it was at herself, “Deal indeed. I may be Tsunade’s but my luck with bets is nothing like hers”.

Kakashi wouldn’t be able to help himself. She knew it. He couldn’t even help himself from making unnecessary physical contact with her – brushing his hand down her back in the faintest ways when he thought no one was looking, touching her hair at every opportunity, touching her fingers whenever they were close to his. She knew he couldn’t win. And if he did, well she’d have to see about hunting down Sasuke and his rinnegan to get Kakashi under a genjutsu so that he could wake up with an epiphany of his undying love for her and realise that true love shouldn’t be discarded in the face of pesky principles.

“I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. Your two weeks isn’t up yet. You can leave still.”

“Sakura, please don’t lie to the weary-hearted like me. We both know you’d punch a hole through my face before I could even begin to contemplate that idea.”

“Laugh all you want Kakashi, but I’m serious. This is for good yeah?”

“For good, yes.”

“Good.”

Thank you for reading.

#kakasaku month 2018 week 2 #Bets #week2day5 #I'm late i know #sorry T_T #KakaSakuMonth2018 #beautifulmagic loveaffair

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salty-dracon · 7 years ago

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I haven't been keeping up with yansim; what kind of rapey features are there?

So the most prominent and well-known of these rapey features is the “panty shots” feature, which YandereDev has shown off in several videos. They’re called “panty shot favors”, in which you take panty shots and send them to a mysterious party named Info-chan to receive favors in return. In a number of cases it’s the only way to complete a certain elimination method, or the easiest way to obtain resources. As the name implies, you’re snapping pictures up girls’ skirts. It’s pretty much been in the game since the beginning of its development, and I’ve been hoping it would be changed, and honestly I was dead fucking wrong. The wiki has more information, which I’ll link here. Don’t know why it says it’s “completely optional”- it’s about as optional as building a crafting table in Minecraft.

In my opinion, panty shots should be replaced with pickpocketing, which already has its own minigame implemented. And no one likes a pickpocket, so it still makes sense. It took Yanderedev a long time to set up a censor for the panty shots (and I don’t even think it’s enabled by default) as well as a different system for collecting favors using plantable bugs (Info-chan also collects secrets about other students). However, I don’t think the bug system is nearly as efficient, or as fun. I’d rather do minigames, or sneak around, than fully rely on an idle system for resources. It’s the kind of thing that is either gratuitously overpowered or incredibly underpowered, and it doesn’t belong in a game like this. Not that I have any hope for the future after the recent drama.

I don’t know why people say this isn’t sexual harassment- you’re quite literally snapping lewd photos without the consent of the other party. Yandere Simulator was banned from twitch partially because of this feature, but Dev tried to justify it by saying that other games have the same system and aren’t banned (a lie of omission, the other game he’s talking about is Japanese and panty shots are just a thing you can do, instead of a core feature, it doesn’t make it any less wrong though) and other games feature nudity and are still streamed frequently (the game in question was conan exiles, which doesn’t feature nude children, and has an M rating, and is a completely different genre). He also tries to make his game “not child porn” by sticking a disclaimer that says “everyone in this game is 18+”, which is kind of a, pardon my language, dick move.

Panty shots are probably the biggest offender, although there is also an elimination method that involves killing someone while they’re taking a bath, and you need to take a bath yourself to get rid of the blood on your body after you kill someone. I don’t know if this has been changed, but your character’s body is censored by steam clouds during the latter. There’s an animation for it and everything. Apparently he was considering using a towel instead, but I don’t know if that was implemented. Basically, “underage” nudity, again.

Oh, and, uh, this. I think it’s an upcoming feature, and…. no. Just… no.

Other questionable but not necessarily rapey features include: the fact that the only real body diversity in the game is bigger boobs, and Kokona’s “befriend/betray” plotline where she is implied to date and have sex with older men for money. (There was nothing else he could do? Nothing? Not even reference episode 27 of assassination classroom, which handles a similar situation with decent backstory that also heavily applies to yansim with less fetishy stuff? Or “hey i work at a convenience store to make ends meet but this girl keeps spreading bad rumors and she happens to be the daughter of the loan shark that’s ruining my father’s life”?)

He’s also just been acting like a huge dick to his fans recently, and has outright disrespected them a bunch of times already. Even my ego isn’t this fragile, and it’s about as strong as an eggshell.

I hope this clears things up, and thank god your ask got through

#yandere simulator #yansim #long post sorry

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popwasabi · 6 years ago

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“Crazy Rich Asians” Review: Support This Movie So I Can Stop Being Angry

Directed by Jon M. Chu

Starring: Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh, Gemma Chan, Awkwafina

“Crazy Rich Asians” might be the first film I’ve ever been nervous about seeing.

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust that director Jon M. Chu would properly represent Asian Americans in a way most Hollywood films don’t but I found myself worried not about whether I would like the movie but whether others would. You see, in the theater full of mostly Asian people I saw it with there was a row of five middle-aged white people right in front of me and my mind immediately went to the gutter thinking “will these people laugh at anything that isn’t a stereotype in this movie?”

(White people be all like: “Why do Asians all look the same?”)

Obviously that’s an unfair assumption to make but Hollywood makes it for them all the time. Rarely producing films that give being Asian any nuance or depth beyond being smart, martial arts masters or more infuriatingly submissive enablers of a white protagonist over their own stories.

A part of me didn’t care about enjoying it so long as it made an impression on Hollywood and larger film-going audiences; I needed this film to succeed because it could mean so much more for representation and inclusion down the line.

Luckily, from what it looks like, the film is trending well and in the end managed to warm my cold dead heart with its whimsical rom-com charm, even if parts of it devolved into the predictable.

Based on the bestselling book by Kevin Kwan, “Crazy Rich Asians” follows the story of Rachel Chu as she and her boyfriend Nicholas Young travel to visit his family in Singapore for his brother’s wedding. Unbeknownst to her, Nick hasn’t been completely forthcoming about his family’s lifestyle and as it turns out he is part of the richest family in Southeast Asia. Now Rachel finds herself in a battle to establish herself in front of his matriarchal mother and prove to her that she’s worth it to Nick.

In writing this review over the last few days it’s been very hard to convey how I’ve felt about this film without going on an angry tangent about Asian representation as a whole in popular cinema. It’s pretty much impossible for me not to talk about it so I’m going to try to talk about this as briefly as possible before I get into the film itself and where it stands personally for me.

(Me trying to avoid writing 10,000 words of pent up rage over the first couple drafts..)

There have definitely been better movies to come out, even in recent years, about the Asian/Asian American experience in the west and more than a few starring all Asian casts, writers and directors. Last year’s, much smaller film, “Gook” for instance gets much more personal about race and the ugliness of society.Even as far as comedies go “Seoul Searching” (which is on Netflix) is a funnier more relatable take on the issues and themes raised in this movie.

(Also, if you didn’t know already, Justin Chon is a GREAT actor and needs to be in more movies. Or at least directing them.)

But as many in the media have pointed out already, this is historic in that it’s the first MAJOR film of this kind since “Joy Luck Club” and to finally have a film featuring this type of cast, director and story with big corporate backing is huge for representation whether you find the film underwhelming or not.

Over the last couple years, whitewashing has become a more recognized topical issue in Hollywood than ever before as Asian American audiences are speaking up more loudly about problematic casting and writing choices that Hollywood and apologists find all kinds of excuses for. Despite plenty of evidence to support otherwise that “bankable” stars don’t guarantee box office draws and that Asian Americans are the largest movie-going demographic per-capita in the country, Hollywood still will place relatively unknown white actors in lead roles on huge box office productions (look at the history of Hollywood trying to make Armie Hammer a thing) while simultaneously telling people like myself that people who look like me can’t be mainstream draws.

If for nothing else, cast more Asian Americans because it’s the right thing to do. The representation and inclusion is waaay overdue and if I have to hear “Just make your own movie” or “People from (insert Asian country here) don’t care” one more God damn time I will tear my fucking hair out! Kevin Kwan had to FIGHT to keep the role of Rachel Chu in this movie Asian and Asians from the mainland and Asians in America, or more broadly in the West, don’t have the same lived in experiences. Not even close!

(Me failing often to maintain my decorum in polite company when these topics are brought up...)

One of the weirdest and most shocking revelations I had coming out of this film is that it was one of the only films I could recall seeing an Asian couple engaging with each other romantically in a Hollywood film for more than five minutes at a time ever. That’s. Fucking. Nuts!

I hope that with the commercial and critical success of this movie what’s left of the skeptics will come around finally (especially the ones in Hollywood) and stop with the dismissiveness. They probably won’t but hey maybe it’ll shut them up for a while at least…

(It gets me through this shit...)

Anyways, now that I’m (mostly) done ranting, as far as the movie goes this is a solid date-night romantic comedy that I’m sure everyone regardless of background can enjoy.

“Crazy Rich Asians” is fairly predictable, albeit with some minor twists, but it still manages to tell a story we’re all pretty familiar with in a unique and often dazzling way.

The first thing that pops out immediately about this film is its visuals as the movie displays a wide array of hues and colors that make the cinematography and the literal richness of the plot truly pop. Its visual eye-candy in the best way, even if it comes across as shallow at times, and if nothing else will keep your eyes glued to the screen as the films moves through its lush scenery.

The soundtrack also helps highlight this between the pop songs and Cantonese renditions of them and director Jon Chu does a great job of splicing it all in together with this group of characters and making their performances even brighter through it.

The cast is the true strength of the film, of course, featuring multiple well-known Asian actors and actresses as well as a few newcomers, who I hope breakout in Hollywood through this film. Constance Wu is delightful, sassy and strong-willed as Rachel Chu and helps shed the stereotype of the meek and submissive Asian women in this story by standing up for herself and not hinging her existence on a man, even one she loves. On the other side of things Henry Golding looks every bit like a star in the making and is charming as Nick Young (even if he is a bit of a Gary Stu character) while also smashing stereotypes about asexuality and unattractiveness in Asian men himself. The two of them have great chemistry onscreen and make a very believable romantic couple and it’s hard, even for an eternal cynic like me, to not be like “Awwwww true wuuuuuv” while watching their romance play out.

(*sniff* It’s so extra yet it’s so beautiful ;_;... *sobs at the extra-ness of the romance*)

There’s a hilarious cast of characters who support Wu and Golding alongside them as well. The always enjoyable Awkwafina plays up her role as the funny best friend very well, the Daily Show’s Ronny Chiang gets in some nice quips and Ken Jeong plays the perverted weirdo perfectly.

The indomitable Michele Yeoh does a great job as the menacing matriarch Eleanor Young but manages to keep it from getting too cliché as the writing adds some nice shades of grey to the character. Her love, even if misguided, is well acted alongside Golding and the two make for an interesting mother/son dynamic that I’m sure plenty will be able to relate to.

The real surprise star, and honestly the most interesting part of the story, actually comes from English actress Gemma Chan who plays Nick’s cousin Astrid. The sub plot involving Astrid and her husband sets up a unique and powerful message about the give and take in relationships and its reflection upon femininity and masculinity. Chan puts in a short but nonetheless thoughtful and sincere performance here and I look forward to seeing more of her in the sequel and hopefully other major film productions.

(That look you give when someone tells you a film starring a dozen or so Asian actors and actresses can’t be a huge box office success)

The film doesn’t have many profound things to say otherwise, it’s again a fairly by the numbers rom-com with a heavy dosage of opulence porn and not to mention some problematic elements, but the one message I hope white audiences take from this film, other than everything I mentioned earlier *gets back on soapbox*, comes from Rachel’s mother at the very beginning of the film.

In the lead up to Nick and Rachel’s big Singapore trip Rachel’s mother warns her about what people of the mainland will think of her when they see her. She states that she may look Chinese and speak Cantonese but, pointing to her heart, they see her as American.

This speaks to a lot of what growing up in this country feels like sometimes for us Asian Americans. That despite many of us being three or four generations deep now in this country we’re seen as foreigners and people from “our country” see us the same way. It’s a deep struggle for our identities and the perpetual foreigner syndrome is a real issue for many of us. Yes, as adults it’s easier for us to shake these insults and micro aggressions but that doesn’t mean it’s still not fucking annoying. Hopefully when white film-goers see this scene they begin to understand that we are as much Americans as anyone else and that seemingly harmless but nonetheless insulting comments like “no, where are you really from” need to be done away with.

(”Where are you from?”---->”Oh I’m from LA.”----> “No, I mean where are you from?”---> “Uhhh California?”----> “No where are you really from?”----> “The United States?...”----> “No where are you REALLY from?”--->*me^*)

I won’t stand here and tell you that Asian Americans have had it worse in this country than other minorities but stereotypes and poor cultural representation, or lack thereof, does contribute to a wide array of issues for us and hopefully this film helps hammer away those regressive viewpoints.

TL;DR “Crazy Rich Asians” is a good date movie and, if nothing else, support this movie so I can go on less rants about Hollywood shitting on Asian Americans.

It may be, at least on the surface, a pretty straight forward romantic comedy but its little nuances and unique commentary on this demographic of people (Even if it talks about a small section of it) makes it a film worth supporting.

Hopefully in the future this film will feel pretty ordinary as representation and inclusion become more accessible things for not just Asian Americans but for people of all backgrounds but until then this is a nice, waaaay past-due, coming out party for Asians across this country and abroad.

VERDICT:

4 out of 5

*Me awaiting the inevitable “Well actually...” comments that’ll come from this review*

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kondo-hijikata · 7 years ago

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Kondo x Hijikata: Prompt #18. things you said when you were scared

Pairing: Established Kondo/HijikataRating: MSummary: It’s spring in Nagareyama when Satcho surrounds the commander and his right-hand man. Only one can escape unscathed. The other is destined to fall. Hakuouki verse. Part 1. Written to Usuzakura no Yume.

The Fall

“Then it’san order! Hijikata-fukucho!”It wasn’t in Hijikata’s nature to dwell on the hypothetical, or circumstancesbeyond his control.“Take the troops remaining here and rendezvous with the unit in Ichikawa.”…Still, it seemed safe enough to assume his demise was slated to greet him withthe clash of steel against steel…that his liberation from the bindings of fleshand bone would welcome him with his face pointed toward an infinite sky. Anybitter taste of regret that lingered would drift away in the wake of lifebleeding out from his wounds, as the stars beckoned him by name across adistance no longer so great. His eyes would close, the last breath would escape his burdened lungs, and hewould leave satisfied, knowing it had all been worth it and that he’d doneenough.By then, everything would be enough.“That is your assignment.”There was acknowledgement somewhere that this foresight so pretty of his finalmoments was romanticized to a certain degree, but the hope it gave him morphedinto oddly comforting promise. It was a vision which provided Hijikata anenduring faith; how he was destined to die would be as meaningful as the way helived. A true warrior, he’d ride out into infinity, trailed by glitteringtendrils of purpose and valor, of illustrious legacy and sung praises.And therefore…“Toshi.”…Therefore…“I’ve already made up my mind.”…as the protective threads of reverie violently unraveled and left his soulbare to an endless winter, the single acceptable conclusion he could draw wasthat the events transpiring now simply could not be real.“This is how it has to be.”For no nightmare so vivid, no delusion so irrational could have inspired him toconsider the end might arrive like this: standing paralyzed from avolatile cocktail of trepidation and panic, searching with despair the oneperson incapable of making him feel such a way. And yet…Kondo’s mouth had indeed moved. That command, forceful and impersonal, hadundoubtedly come from him. And Hijikata knew without hesitation exactly what itmeant.The commander had signed his own death sentence. But what Kondo hadn’t realizedwas that his willing sacrifice, though made with only the best of intentions, wouldcome at a cost of more than his own life.It would destroy Hijikata’s as well.

“…You’re…ordering me…?”The universe ticked in confounding ways. Half a minute ago, Hijikata was theperson he knew himself to be: unyielding, in control, spilling brash combativedemands to quell an outrageous suggestion. But all it had taken was the span ofthirty seconds to flip his entire world to ruin, to understand the suggestion wasn’ta suggestion, and have himself pushed into a place where he couldn’t bear to finishthat inquiry. Anguish–incredulity–colored the tremble in his tone soopenly that his own voice sounded alien.His brows twitched, a muted response to the anomalous cadence of unrecognizedspeech.“Toshi…” The piercing severity that had transformed Kondo’s perpetual warm eyeslessened and the corners of his lips hinted upward to a familiar smile ofresignation. “The commander’sorders are absolute, aren’tthey?”Of all the things that could have been spoken, that he’d chosen to say that…Hijikata’s shoulders dropped as his lungs forced the breath from his chest.It was as if Kondo hadn’t missed a beat, however–like he hadn’t just lit the matchthat was destined to burn the entirety of what they cherished and all they’d relentlesslyworked for to a sea of ashes. His demeanor once more assumed its characteristicgentleness, the shift so like him and yet entirely out of place underthese circumstances.The fine needlework that had stitched together the lives of commander and vicecommander for so long had begun to tear along an unbreakable seam. And still,as the threads ruptured and split off one-by-one, Kondo remained entirely calm, impassive.

It had onemeaning. His volition was sincere and his intentions impervious to outsideinfluence.Horrified, Hijikata merely riveted while Kondo’s quiet smile inched furtheroutward to his cheeks. His lashes fell with a single shake of the head.“Besides, this isn’t goodbye. They won’t find out who I am.”The lie left his tongue without an inkling of falter—stately and resolute, asthough the grace of daimyo blood had flowed through his veins since the momentof his birth. True to the part, Kondo stood tall and graceful with hisshoulders back, painting a living portrait of unbreakable composure before thesilent inward shattering of Hijikata’s ever-ardent fortitude.Rendered motionless, he for once could say nothing and could do nothing,except watch in terror while a merciless reality ripped everything he held dearright from his grasp. The better parts of Hijikata’s years had been spentnurturing and sheltering the few things he treasured deeply, holding tight to keepthem safe from harm and now…His breathing turned ragged as the reins of control escaped his fingertips, transientas open handfuls of sand in the wind. Every passing second brought an army ofmarching boots closer to this location, every moment chipping more and moreaway at an already crumbling foundation. And here even Kondo, the mostimportant part of his life, had begun slipping from his reach too.Hijikata knew he should have fought back then—should have lashed out, usedforce, done anything at his disposal to prevent this situation from devolving furtherinto madness. But in the face of such resolve (“Real warriors never go back ontheir word,” Kondo always said), his lips only trembled, his lashes remainingparted wide and unblinking.The decree was final. Kondo had given him a direct order. And as vice commander,it was Hijikata’s sworn duty to obey.A promise made long ago beneath a different sky thrummed through the passagesof time to reverberate within the present. “Iwill follow you anywhere, Kat-chan. The commander’s word is absolute. Rememberthat.”The commander’s orders are absolute, aren’t they? Toshi.This…wasn’t the way things were meant to be; a life’s worth of loyalty andcommitment had been vowed by him and to him. And while Hijikata affirmed his willingnessto do anything, he’d never dreamed it would mean discarding Kondo into therazor jaws of Satcho at some backwater town, only to save himself. Novels could be written of their years together, of the perfect balance thathad been effortlessly struck between them. It came naturally, Hijikata’sstrictness and unwavering logical mindset wrapping themselves lovingly aboutKondo’s flexibility and the turbulence of emotion which guided him. Theiropposing natures filled the other’s gaps, making up for where each lacked tocreate one complete whole.Now, at the abrupt and tragic end of their heroic story, their roles reversedin the bat of an eyelash and the scale tipped out of equilibrium. Torn betweenthe polarizing demands of responsibility and his heart, Hijikata found hebarely recognized himself.Where was his guiding logic, the fierce intolerance that grounded him?For years he’d justified every action no matter how brutal for the greater good,and readily dirtied his hands to keep Kondo’s clean. He’d sentenced men tocommit seppuku, went above and beyond the call of duty to secure the future ofwhat they’d created.Hijikata’s role had never been easy and his ruthlessness not without personalconsequence at night, when silence gripped him and there was too much time toreflect. However, it was his firm belief in the things the Shinsengumirepresented that enabled him to carry on as he had.In that sense, the decision Kondo had arrived at was valid. His surrender wouldmake the escape of the men remaining here more likely, and it was in the bestinterest of everyone for that to happen. Furthermore, it followed code; Hijikatahad set the rule that there would be no exceptions, that preservation of theShinsengumi took precedence over any individual’s life.But here, in this moment, he was on the cusp of a revelation.

“Hijikata.” Five years ago, Serizawa’sscrutiny had bored through him. “Why thehell are you even here?”

…Perhaps, ithadn’t been the prosperity and liveliness of their organization, or even the nationalismswelling his heart, which drove him to those lengths after all.

“Ain’t it obvious?! If ittakes a demon to secure his future, then a demon is what I’ll become.”

…Perhaps, it reallyhad all been for Kondo.

Right from the start, Kondo had been important enough, special enough, for Hijikata to justifybetting his entire life on. Just how far could an ambitious farmer’s son go inthis world? How many glass ceilings of classism could he shatter, how manypeople just like them could be moved by his success?

Hijikata had wanted to know, had wanted to see it happen with his own eyes. Helived out his own dreams through Kondo, content to shun the limelight and enjoytheir victories with the man he revered positioned front and center.If he was gone, what did anything mean? How could Hijikata continue on withhalf himself lost to a void, when the most important pieces of all weremissing?He had no answers to any of these questions, but the moments were racing by andtime was a luxury no one currently possessed.“Kondo-san,” he finally managed to grate out, disciplined enough tostill address him properly in the presence of Shimada and Yukimura.“It’s all right.” The apathy with which Kondo conducted himself remainedunprecedented. “Even if they see through it, my hatamoto status means theycan’t kill me easily.”Before Hijikata could begin to point out how ridiculous a statement that was,Kondo lifted his chin and gazed past him. “Shimada-kun, please escape withToshi. You and Yukimura-kun, split up and inform the remainder of the men hereto meet at the back gate. Make it quick.”Shimada’s exasperation was palpable. “Commander!”“That’s also an order.” Kondo’s insistence succeeded in remaining soft butcarried with it a clear message that his resolution wouldn’t be deterred. “Mycapture means nothing if you’re taken too. Go. I’ll be down to see you off rightaway.”Though Shimada had been standing behind him and out of sight, Hijikata couldtell how tightly his teeth were gritted from his response. “…Sir.”“Yukimura-kun.” Kondo nodded at her next. “Please help.”“Yes.” Her reply was hushed, but the heartache it carried resounded deeplythrough the air. “…Commander.”The hurried pattering of footsteps followed immediately when they descendedthe stairs in haste, and for the final time, Hijikata found himself alone withthe man he was incapable of parting from.Exhaling, Kondo’s shoulders fell after the pair disappeared and then he steppedforward. “Toshi.””Why?” Barely above a whisper, Hijikata’s voice retained impressive controlagainst the silent hysteria battering him raw, and he at last broke free fromthe entrapment of his shock-induced prison. A palm lifted to cup his mouth andhe let his head fall for but a moment to steady himself. Still, when his handslid away again, the words poured out unbridled with emotion. “This isn’t likeyou. You’re commanding me to—”Kondo’s movement stole the breath from his lips. Strong arms tugged Hijikatainto an embrace, familiar warmth enveloping him in the silent comfort it alwaysmanaged to provide. Inundated by the scent he loved most, Hijikata feltfingertips press to the base of his neck and slide up through his short locks,encouraging him to press his forehead unto a willing broad shoulder.He relented.“Ne, Toshi…” Kondo’s voice was low and soothing, as he kept one arm wrappedfirmly around him while continuing to caress his hair. “It’s enough already.” Hijikatadrew a choppy inhale. “You’ve run yourself ragged for years on end trying tospread my renown and now you’ve even become a rasetsu.” The stroking ceased.“…It hurts so much to see you like this.”While Hijikata made no move to lift his face, his hands finally raised. Digitspressed firmly into the material of Kondo’s kimono and curled in, until he hadfistfuls in his grasp. “What I’ve done…” His voice shook. “It’s torn at yourheart.”“No, that’s—”“Become samurai and serve the Shogunate,” Hijikata interjected, “Earn ourhonor, make something of ourselves…” His grip tightened. “I thought we could behappy together once we did that. Was I wrong?”He could feel Kondo’s frame slouch, then a nudge of the chin pressed just abovehis ear. “I’m so sorry. I did this to you, didn’t I? I pushed you to theselengths.”Hijikata’s head snapped up. “Don’t. Iwas the one—”“You were wrong.”His lashes parted a little wider at the softness Kondo wore in his expression,at the return of a smile both sad and gentle. The hand that had held the backof his head came forward and pressed to his cheek.

Beneath them,a stampede of boots began pounding the lower floorboards in quick succession.

“Toshi…” Kondo’s brows drew inward, his expression tightening as he gaveHijikata’s face a tender shake. “I was already happy.”

End of part one. Thanks for reading and sorry for the angst.

#resshiiram #asks #konhiji #hakuouki #fic #long post #writing on plaid paper #toshisami

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samuelhowell · 3 years ago

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prettyhunter525 · 3 years ago

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theclosetpoet7 · 7 years ago

Text

Revolution

One Two Three Four

Rating: M

Chapter Five

Ring

Cerulean eyes turn to the door when Haruno Sakura enters. Immediately, his whole person brightens up because she has been away for two weeks. And fourteen days is far too long in his opinion, considering that he never manages to get her out of his thoughts.

Not after he finally confessed.

Though she decided on not replying to it.

She didn't say yes, but she didn't turn him down either.

Uzumaki Naruto wonders if he should keep his hopes up.

She's on his side right?

She chose him right?

She's with him right?

And not with...

He supposes that he should resent her in a way, for not acknowledging his confession except with a firm;

"I care about you Naruto."

"And I love you too... but..."

But they are at war.

A war he started himself.

And when Hyuuga Hinata had confessed to him during Pein's attack, he realizes that he also didn't have the time to return her affections. Because he was too focused on saving lives, too focused on becoming stronger, too focused on becoming hokage.

Or he simply didn't return her feelings when it came down to it.

Because he's in love with Haruno Sakura.

He always will be.

And Sakura?

Perhaps she will never return his affections as well.

"Naruto?"

He had been staring for too long.

The young hokage hides his thoughts by grinning brightly at her, eyes chinked shut and whole face lighting up for the love of his life.

"Gomen, Sakura-chan, I just haven't seen you in so long, I forgot how cute you are."

She smiles sheepishly in return.

"Dummy."

The pinkette steps forward to hand over her mission report scroll. Not that she needed to. Her trips to Sunagakure were after all her choice. And considering how little he knows of medical jargon, Naruto is at least sure that when it comes to poisons and antidotes, Gaara's village does have a good medical research lab at his disposal. Sakura's been taking in students as well, which is something he is extremely proud of.

He puts the scroll in one of his drawers because he knows he really won't be able to decipher them anyway.

A vein pops on her forehead upon his dismissal.

"If you won't read it, then I guess I'll have to give you a brief overview."

He flinches upon realizing his in-sensitiveness.

She really does hate it when it seems like he is underestimating her.

Though that wasn't his intention.

"There's a lot of progress with my medical subordinates. If a full on battle breaks out, they will at least be able to tend to physical injuries to the best of their abilities. And in case they run out of chakra, I've taught them cardiopulmonary resuscitation."

Naruto stares dumbly at what she just said.

The medic clears her throat.

"I mean, they can manually pump a person's heart once it stops. It's a technique I used during the war with you, when I literally held your heart in my hands and moved it for you. Tsunade-shishou and I have always thought that you can do that without opening the body. There's a drug that we've developed too, one that can enable the body to increase its capabilities of circulating blood."

He blanches slightly at what she had just said. Partly due to the mention of drugs that are completely foreign to him because of the prominence of chakra healing, and also partly due to his memories of Sakura's hand inside his chest.

As expected of the neo-sannin, of course she'd find new ways to save others.

"Although, I haven't figured out how to remedy it with drugs if a shinobi's collapse is caused by total chakra depletion."

He doesn't completely understand, so he settles with saying.

"You're amazing Sakura-chan! Of course, you can go about what you think is right."

There is a flinch in her form at his words.

And because Naruto has always been quite adept at reading into her, especially the way her eyes always seemed to be hiding something from him, he asks her;

"What's wrong?"

She hesitates but speaks out anyway.

"Naruto, this war, when is it going to end?"

The question is quite broad, and impossible to answer at the same time. Five years have gone by since he started the war with his former best friend. There really was only one way for it to end.

"When I kill Sasuke."

The name sounds foreign on his lips, granted that he hasn't said it in so long. Because it always felt taboo. And it always made him sink into some unknown pit of self-loathing. They had spoken to each other through their fists, but he still wasn't able to get through to him.

It makes him angry with himself because before the Alliance was split, he always held the hope that his final fight with Sasuke would end with them just going back to being friends. But apparently, it was hard being friends with someone who held different ideals.

Someone who held on to it so hard that's he'd start a war for it.

It is in times like this when he takes a moment to think it over.

Is he doing the right thing?

Should he be protecting the bijuus?

Would they pose such a great danger?

"Sakura-chan."

The young woman rests her eyes on his troubled form.

"Is it wrong to believe in the goodness of people?"

"It's not."

That reply was swift.

"How about the goodness of the bijuus?"

Sakura pauses.

"I don't think so."

He lets out a sigh of relief. Blue orbs widen when she takes a few more steps to his table.

"It's a trait of yours that I've always admired Naruto."

A fair hand goes up to rest on his trembling shoulders.

"You see the good in everyone. You believe that they can be better than they think they are. You're always looking for their humanity, their kindness, their hopes for peace. It's stupid really."

He laughs through his doubts.

"But amazing at the same time. It's why so many people are following you. I would like to believe in the goodness of everyone as well, the same way you have. Isn't that why I'm here?"

He realizes that his eyes have been tearing up a bit at her sincere words. He wipes them away and looks up to see her kind eyes.

Ah, he really is in love with her.

______________

It had been a never-ending thought in her head since that last conversation with Sasuke, though she had managed to push it to the back of her mind for some time.

"We can't always be sure that it will be the same with the next Jinchuurikis. When Naruto and Killer Bee die, who is to say that the next vessel is capable of controlling their tailed beasts?"

He was right. Before Naruto had become friends with Kurama, the village had feared him, had wanted nothing to do with him, had even resented him.

Until he proved them wrong.

"-assuming this person does gain control of the tailed beast, how can you be sure that they won't use the power to kill others?"

Sakura's brows furrow.

"Is it wrong to believe in the goodness of people?"

Her brain suddenly hurts.

Of course it isn't wrong.

How could believing in goodness be wrong?

How could fighting with love be wrong?

How...

History tells her otherwise.

Because wasn't Sasuke's defection caused by the love he felt for his family? And the hate he felt for his brother...

"Did they care when they ordered my brother to slaughter innocent children? When they took away my family?"

Her heart pumps strongly against her chest. The truth was earth-shattering, and hard to wrap her mind around.

When Sakura finally closes the door to her one bedroom apartment, she grasps the front of her shirt and starts to level her breathing, otherwise she'd be unable to stop hyperventilating. Her whole body shakes, and she plants her feet firmly on the ground as she pushes herself to a wall for support.

Emerald eyes quiver.

Konoha.

Her village.

Her home.

Committed genocide.

It isn't hard to figure out why any of the village's leaders would allow it. The Uchiha clan must have been planning something, if what she's assuming is spot on.

Still though,

It's not right.

It's

not

right.

There were innocent children there.

Not just children.

It's not right.

And Itachi... Sasuke's brother, whom she'd always seen as a powerful evil in all this.

Didn't he make the ultimate sacrifice?

Didn't he take all of Sasuke's hate onto himself?

She wishes that she could talk to him.

She wishes that she could ask him.

To ask the very question that is killing her from the inside.

In the end, did he think it was right?

Choosing his village over his loved ones.

It hurts.

Her brain hurts.

______________

Two months later, Sakura finds herself in Suna again. She knows what she has to do, has known from the start that she'd have to revisit that technique, to see if she can do something about the future of her team. Since the eight-tailed beast was taken, there was only one thing Sasuke would go after.

Naruto.

He had said that he doesn't know where the other seven are.

Save for in their blonde teammate.

Even if he claims that he has found a way to take a bijuu without killing its vessel, Sakura thinks that it might have been just a lucky break, because Naruto had been there. With his godly powers.

Sakura still doesn't understand how.

But if he was able to restore Kakashi's eye, then there is a way for him to somehow save Bee's life.

With her help of course.

That's why the rapper is still alive.

What would happen though? Once Naruto can't save himself?

Useless.

She no longer wanted to be useless like before.

Always crying, always pleading.

This time she has to do something.

There is a bit of uncertainty in her new resolve, granted that she's always been resentful of that part of herself who can't help but cry and plead. And she always despised it that just when she thinks she's finally caught up to them, they take another step forward.

Away from her.

Always away from her.

The pinkette does know that she's far from where she was from the start.

But it's not enough.

It's never enough.

She checks the clock again to determine if it's about time she left. Sasuke had once again sent her a letter with a meeting time and place. It's a day of non-stop travel to Otogakure from the Sand Village, most ninjas would pace it. But not her, taking her time would draw suspicion.

So when she finishes the write up in her scroll and casts a seal that only she could open to protect its confidentiality, Sakura packs up and bids her farewell to her lab assistants.

She does a courtesy call to Gaara and his siblings to notify them of her departure. She should feel guilty actually, but it's something she needs; this meeting with Sasuke. It's the only thing she keeps for herself when everything else is being given to her efforts for the war.

For Naruto.

As her feet pick up the pace to head to their little haven again, Sakura couldn't help the excitement in her pores.

Sakura reaches Oto in less than a day.

But when she opens the door to their usual room, Sakura could only gasp in surprise when she is greeted by an unexpected guest.

"Sasuke-kun's been poisoned."

Karin stands from the bed.

"And I know you're the only one who can save him."

______________

They walk through Sasuke's fortress, Sakura questions why she is able to step in so easily.

She questions herself if she should even trust Uzumaki Karin at this point.

The ring on the red head's finger allows Sakura to rethink her distrusting nature though.

The chakra detector had looked panicked.

No one could fake the fear that was in the other woman's eyes.

"I'm surprised that this place seems uninhabited, I would expect to see guards."

Might as well start a conversation.

"The east wing is Sasuke's only."

Sakura follows her enemy as she climbs up two flights of stairs to reach a dark corridor lighted by lamps. The endless hall reminds her vaguely of Orochimaru's lair, which they had invaded when she was fifteen, though this place looked more like a Japanese mansion, with its wooden floors and sliding doors. But the size though, and the darkness, it still reminds her of their failed mission.

That seemed like a lifetime ago.

Karin continues leading her down the hall until they reach the second to the last door. She hastily opens it to show Sakura her friend's state.

Sasuke was unconscious, breathing erratically, with a towel on his forehead, and a blanket over his form. The medic could immediately tell that he was shivering.

She examines the room first, there's a tub of water, some vials of an unknown liquid, but it smelled mostly of herbs.

Again, she takes note of the fact that the place is empty, except for the otokage's presence, so she turns to Karin again in silent question.

"No one dares to come here."

The revelation is hard to believe, because, wasn't Sasuke the leader?

She asks that very question.

"If they had any news of someone harming their leader, they'd rather protect themselves. Because if that person can handle Uchiha Sasuke, then they wouldn't be able to either."

The truth sinks her heart a bit.

It's a lonely existence.

Sasuke's.

"Except for me though."

The admission has the pinkette's heart clenching. Karin probably had a special place in his heart.

"It has everything to do with you."

Probably.

Still.

Sakura couldn't help but feel jealous.

"Why are you leading your enemy into your master's bedroom?"

She voices her concerns while Sasuke's fiancee' leads her to his sleeping form.

"And why are you hiding me like I'm your comrade?"

Her actions were suspicious, of course Sakura wasn't so dumb as to follow blindly...

"Because, I don't trust them either."

...even if she already knew the answer.

"If they knew that Sasuke-kun was this badly injured, they'd try to assassinate him while they can."

Of course they would.

"I can't risk that."

Sakura nods her head in reply and goes down on her knees beside his bed as she rests a hand over him to examine his physical state.

"You're a medic though, why can't you save him yourself?"

"How I wish I can plunge my hand into that head of yours and squeeze the hell out of your brain just so you know that I don't like being called out for my skills."

Well, that was rather harsh, and brutal. This woman was somewhat rude.

"As if you can. You know well enough our skills are far from each other Karin-san."

She can talk back too.

It's surprising when the enemy doesn't even form a reply to her conceited claim.

It gave her the impression that Karin most probably sees the truth in it.

"I can only heal people when they bite into me."

There's a defeated tone to her voice. When Sakura is done with her initial physical examination, she looks over her shoulder to regard the other kunoichi.

"So the bite marks."

"Aren't just from Sasuke-kun."

"Still, how about the basic medical ninja know-how?"

"I know the basics but this..."

"Is a powerful toxin, grab me another basin and some warm water, I'll manually extract the poison and come up with an antidote."

Karin does what she orders and comes back in mere seconds.

Sakura goes about the same process she has done several times already.

"You've done this before."

"I'm concentrating."

There is an air of animosity between the two women. But their love for this one man allows them to cooperate.

Sakura briefly wonders if they are the only women who have loved him like this.

Most likely not.

So they continue to do it.

Helping each other to save Uchiha Sasuke.

Because they both loved him.

______________

"I have a ring you know."

They sit on the tatami mat hours later, both exhausted from their efforts. Sakura had gotten rid of the majority of the toxicant and has just administered the antidote. They're just playing the waiting game now.

Sakura says nothing in return.

But Karin continues on nevertheless.

"It symbolizes our promise to marry each other in the future."

"..."

"I love Sasuke-kun. I love him so much. Before this war and way before he sought me out. Did you know that? That he came to my rescue when we were genin? During the Chuunin exam?"

She assumes that Sakura probably doesn't know.

"Of course he wouldn't tell you about it."

The pinkette adjusts her position to allow the other girl to continue.

"I thought I met prince charming then."

"..."

"After that, my life unraveled. And Orochimaru happened."

Karin thinks that in this moment, with the way Sakura's eyes widened, and the way they had a bit of understanding by just that small bit of information, that the Konoha nin probably feels pity for her.

It isn't something she wants.

But she's doing it anyway.

Saying what she feels.

"It came as a surprise to me when Sasuke-kun turned out to be the villain too. And I still loved him. Then, he came to Orochimaru's hideout, to where I was a prison guard. Where I was left on an island in the middle of the ocean so I can watch over evil, lowly people. Where I had to carry out my duties even if it meant that I would never be able to sleep for a really long time because I was scared."

She breathes deeply.

"I was fucking scared that one day, I'll wake up to one of those criminals, wrapping their dirty fingers around my neck, strangling the life out of me."

Yes, her past was dark, so dark. That's why she belongs with him.

She belongs with Sasuke.

Her resentment for this woman fuels her desperate words.

"My life wasn't all pretty pink flowers or village head bands. Nor was it full of laughs or steady dates. It wasn't fucking perfect like yours was."

Who was she to say that Haruno Sakura had a perfect life? No one that is. But she just knew this person had it easy compared to her.

"Until Sasuke-kun came. Until he came to my rescue again."

Karin's heart fills with warmth from thoughts of her hero.

"Uchiha Sasuke didn't just offer me a future, or a place where I finally belonged. He didn't just give me the opportunity to do something good. No. He offered me more than that."

It is at this exact second that Sakura finally utters a query.

"And what is that?"

Their eyes meet then.

"He offered me salvation."

The neo-sannin turns away.

"In return, I gave him my heart, I gave him my body. I gave him my loyalty."

She wonders if what she's saying is hurting Sasuke's mistress. The same way it hurt when she first felt that sweet chakra of hers.

Intermixed with the love of her life's.

So she continues with her attacks.

"So, When he asked me to track down his brother, I did it. When he reformed our team and joined Akatsuki, I followed him. When he tried to kill me and left me to become a prisoner in your sick village, I ran back to his side the moment he decided to change his mind and join the war. And, when he started his deranged revolution, I chose him. I chose him without a second thought. I chose HIM."

That's right, she fucking chose him.

No one else.

"When I was finally able to have his body, when I finally had him thrusting hard and deep above me."

She senses the other nin's chakra coil with sadness.

"I saw his pain. I saw how he needed to sink himself into something. How he needed to sink himself into me. I saw how he wanted to destroy his soul and drown himself in more hatred."

Unlike her.

"You see Sakura, I actually took all of his pain and carried it with him. I took it. I accepted it. In his darkness, I held him. In his darkness, I never left. In his darkness, I loved him even if it consumed me as well. As he was drowing, I drowned with him."

And drown with him she will.

"I love him. I love Uchiha Sasuke. I'm the one who has the privilege of being his right hand. I'm the one who he promised to marry. I'm the one who will restore his clan and give him back the famiy he lost, the same way he'll give me back the one I lost as well."

She spits out those hurtful truths to send poisoned needles into the other kunoichi's heart.

"I know his pain. I understand. I was born to love him."

She comes up with the most heart-breaking and hope-crushing words to bury her foe deeper into her forced rejection.

"He gave me a ring. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I know he cares for me. Because he gave me a ring."

She twists some facts but weaves them up with her honest confessions to get the message across.

"Uchiha Sasuke gave me a ring."

If this was a battlefield, with her opponent keeping silent and not doing anything in retaliation, Karin could say that she is landing multiple chakra scalpels onto Sakura's tiny physique and she is doing it with the kind of finesse and precision that the young Sannin might as well be decapitated at this point.

She lands the finishing blow with all the strength and pride she could muster.

"I'm wearing a fucking ring. What do you have?"

Yes, Uzumaki Karin finishes the battle with a triumphant grin and eyes full of deep loathing for the other woman in the room.

Because she has earned it.

She has fucking earned her place at Uchiha Sasuke's side.

But when her seemingly defeated enemy finally lifts her head.

When she finally allows determined emerald green to meet hesitant red irises.

When she finally opens her mouth to deliver her counter attack.

Karin realizes the one thing she had overlooked when she entered this battle. She realizes the one piece of information she should've remembered when she started the match. It was all so obvious how unprepared she was to take down this girl. And she inwardly scolds herself for forgetting about it.

Because, it was stupid of her to forget.

The fact that when faced with the legendary Haruno Sakura,

Respected medic.

Feared Sannin.

Disciple of Senju Tsunade, the fifth hokage.

Prized warrior of the Konoha Leaf Village.

Precious member of Team Seven, the team that defeated a freaking goddess.

When faced with Sakura fucking Haruno.

What do you have?

Karin tries her best to come up with a teleportation technique to get out as she realizes the chakra infused punch she is about to receive. As she tries her best to evade. And even when this woman is not counterattacking physically, she knows she needs to do it.

To get out.

"What do I have Karin?"

Because.

When you find yourself in a one-on-one fight with Haruno Sakura.

"His heart."

All it really took was one punch to end it all.

______________

Author's Note: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to my darling readers. Thank you so much for your reviews you guys! You keep me inspired to write this. And thank you to those who said that they trust me to go on with my original plans. And special thank you as well to those who defended me when there are some spiteful reviews here and there. Everyone has their own opinion I guess. I wish I could personally send a message to all you guys in reply to your questions and what-not.

If anyone is wondering, this story will probably not be as long as Sore ga ai deshou. :D

Also details on how to read Ombreecha’s prompt based on this is in the other author’s note.

Special thank you to @ombreecha, @saeuniverse , @beatoneheart, who are just the best friends out there, always making me smile with their kind words.

A special thank to @madara-fate as well, my cool senpai who answers my questions about possible scenarios for this alternate world.

R & R!

#sasusakufanfiction #sasusakufic #sasusaku+fanfic #ssfanfiction #ssfic

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goingstronguop · 4 years ago

Text

Mass Media and Computer Mediated Communication

Mass media is easily achieved using forms of social media with the emerging mobile technologies created a whole to environment of human interaction. This plays into both personal and work interactions. Individuals receive instant responses, whereas in past there could be delays or gaps in communication. The rate at which technology enhancements hit the hands of users, with devices, and with the ability to humanize the applications, it starts to imitate human behavior. Siri application mimics humanity through playful conversation and humor, and Google attempts to understand our behaviors to deliver more relevant information and content to better connect with users through their various services.

The ability to reach people in masses with the use of computer-mediated technology, using live feeds, social media while viewing all on your held hand devices. Simply stated “As mobile phones have become a staple in most consumers’ lives and user-friendly mobile devices like the iPad grow in popularity, major media companies are investing more resources into creating new ways of reaching news audiences via mobile platforms” (Chan-Olmsted & Zerba, 2013). Call me old fashioned but personally I do not view news through my smart phone, I simply turn on the 5 or 6 o’clock news.

On line ability to capturing the news is streamlined, you can view high light articles, click of a finger to listen to an abbreviated story. In past those reporting the news was a laborious time consuming effort; you can now do interviews, news stories, notes, and editing all while out in the field and have uploaded using your mobile devices. Within minutes, journalists can upload files from a digital record to a computer and publish the audio to the web reaches individuals in mases. There isn’t a need to pick up a newspaper, turn on your radio or T.V. to receive your fix of the daily news.

The rapid development of business and personal technology has changed how not only see or hear about news, but also at the cost of losing the truly personal touch. People can become addicted to news with the constant access to it. Individuals are becoming so engrossed with their smart phones, with noses buried in them, that they are not always present and living in the moment. Trying to find a balance is hard when technology, with regards to hand-held devices, continues to find ways to hook more and more users, “It was suggested that mobile news consumers are more likely to follow news frequently, use multiple news platforms/sources, seek practical utilities from news information, value portal news sites, share content with others, and be receptive to advertising campaigns, especially those via social media” (Chan-Olmsted & Zerba, 2013). There are so many platforms to choose from, that are enticing old and new users, that enables the continued to grow audience and users in masses.

Reference

Chan-Olmsted, S., Rim, H., & Zerba, A. (2013). Mobile news adoption among young adults: Examining the roles of perceptions, news consumption, and media usage. Journalism & Mass Communication Quarterly, 90(1), 126-147.

Rabby, M. K., & Walther, J. B. (2003). Computer-mediated communication effects on relationship formation and maintenance. Maintaining relationships through communication: Relational, contextual, and cultural variations, 141-162.

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porkofdoom-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Maru’s Little Secret

for @shortcut48

Eyelids fluttered and Maru can feel warm breaths below her neck. Maru groaned when she felt her arm muscles stiffened at the weight that pillowed her arm. Maru squinted at the huge familiar blur sighing when Maru shifted on their bed. It was one of the mornings that made Maru's heart clench. The first sight that greeted her when she opened her eyes. Maru can't help it, but to smile.

It was their morning night in their new apartment. After a year of dating, and a month of spending on each other's houses, they finally decided that it would be best if they shared a home instead. They bought a new apartment and it was the best among the selections offered to them. High ceiling, natural light and has a bathtub wide enough for two people. It has two-rooms, with the master bedroom that can fit a California King-size bed (but oh, com'on, they only bought a King-size though, after purchasing the said bed with red faces) and the other room as a make-shift office for Maru. The kitchen is to die for, good ventilation, and Maru can only imagine kissing her girlfriend into a beautiful curve on the dining table as she—

Then, there was the sound of their doorbell, breaking Maru's little moment of thinking–er... watching her beautiful girlfriend's slumber.

"Mmm... Urusai." The blur mumbled, her voice hoarse from all the karaoke they did with their friends last night. (Annoying.)

"I'll get it." Maru sighed and kissed her girlfriend's hair as she got up from their bed.

"Stay," her girlfriend says, burying her head to Maru's pillow and raised her arms trying to get a hold of Maru.

Maru caught her hand and kissed her fingers, "I'll be back before you know it." She grinned at her girl and tucked their blankets up to her chin.

Satisfied, her girlfriend only hummed her reply before sleep took over her again.

Maru chuckled as she got her eyeglasses and phone from the bedside table, then padded to the door when it buzzes again.

"Hai, hai! Ikemasu," Maru muttered, rushing to the intercom to check who was it. "Yes?" She watched the screen flickered to life and the delivery boy beamed to her. (Yes, yes! I'm coming.)

"Package for Hoshino-san!"

Ugh. Maru grimaced. It's too early to be this cheerful but nonetheless, she opened the door.

"Sign here, please!" The delivery boy chirped, showing a small clipboard with a receipt and a check mark beside the blank next to her printed name to sign.

"Thanks," Maru muttered after she scrawled her signature and took the medium box inside their apartment.

"You're welcome. Have a nice day!" The boy beamed again.

Maru only grunted before she toed the door close and the lock automatically clicked and a robotic voice echoed by the foyer, "Autolock enabled."

"Oh, it's from Hiroko-san..." Maru whispered to herself as she placed it on the middle of the coffee table. She sat on the couch and began on texting her aunt.

To: Hiroko Subject: Package Message: Good morning. Thanks for sending the rest of my things. I received it well. Send my regards to Aeri and samchon. :-)

She was about to open the package with a blunt edge of the nail file she found on her girlfriend's box of nail polish when her phone began to ring. She paused, placed the nail file back on the table and took her phone instead and went outside the balcony as she answered the call.

"Ohayo, Neko-chan~," Hiroko greated her, she gave a little wave at Maru, showing her fingers.

"Ohayo," Maru grinned, her cheeks flushed from the morning cold.

"Have settled okay?"

Maru had to roll her eyes. Hiroko had been protective of her and always have been a mother hen. She couldn't actually help it, even Maru thought of her as her mother, since Hiroko's family had been a positive influence in her life. Maru's always thankful that they met them.

So, Maru answered truthfully, nodding as she explained that, "Yes, we had assembled most of the furniture last week, we had filled the fridge yesterday and had already filled their closet with our clothes," blushing a little deeper when she thinks how they attempted to mix some of their clothes together.

"I'm glad," her aunt sighed, a peaceful expression resting on her face.

"Love?" Her girlfriend called out and Maru turned her head to their bedroom door.

"Oh! Is that—"

"Hiroko-san! I should go." Maru blushed as she walked back inside.

"Yes, yes. Send my regards to—"

Maru had accidentally cut the call off when her girlfriend draped herself on her back. Maru eyed her phone but thinks that Hiroko would surely understand...

"Was that Hiroko-san?" She mumbled, tickling Maru's ear. "Oh, you got a package."

"Yeah...", Maru gulped.

"I missed you."

"M-Me too."

Her girlfriend looked at her amused. But her grin turned into a frown after a few seconds.

"What's wrong?" Maru asked when her girlfriend pulled the blanket resting on her shoulders and dropped them to a nearby armchair.

"I had a call from the company."

"But it's your day off." Maru stated as a matter of fact. Her girlfriend rarely gets a day-off.

Before, they made plans to go out of town. They visit an onsen or sight-seeing but since they live together now, Maru only wants to spend it in their new home. Maybe cuddle for a bit in their new king-sized bed or break into it, as what other couples call it (Maru blushed at this). Or maybe they could watch a some Ghibli movies on their brand new TV set and make-out on their new couch and (again) break into it.

There's a list of areas Maru thought of to christen their new home... except the bathroom since the two bathed together last night and things... Well, things got escalated pretty quickly which both of them slept soundly afterwards, exhausted and blissed out.

"Anyway, I have to go." Her girlfriend said sadly and kissed her temple and started to walk towards the bathroom.

"Do you want me to accompany you?" Maru suggested.

"To the office? Or... to the bathroom?" Her girlfriend smirked, her hand resting on the bathroom's doorknob.

"Both?" Maru grinned as she started to follow her girl to the door.

Maru as a dutiful girlfriend helped her girl into her clothes delaying as much possible as she could. Placing little kisses in small areas she only gets to do and —

"Love, I'm going to be late."

She was drying her girlfriend's hair when she asked again," Are you sure it's going to be okay with me not being there?"

"Yes, and you already asked that before." Her girlfriend replied, putting one small swipe of strawberry lipgloss on her lips and started to spread it with her finger.

"Well, I can go. I have nothing to do here." Maru sighed, her outdoor clothes are already out of the closet and placed strategically on their bed.

Her girlfriend grinned as she spun around the stool and faced Maru. She plucked out the hairbrush and hairdryer from Maru's hands and placed it back to the table. She held Maru's hands as Maru pouted, leaning over to taste that strawberry-flavored lipgloss on her girlfriend's lips.

"You can't go." Her girlfriend sighed, placing a finger on Maru's lips only to get attacked with Maru's little kisses. "Besides, you have things to do like, walk Orion (their dog), feed Paru (their cat) and Jurina (their soft-shelled turtle) and, clean Sayaka and Miyuki's cage (their lovebirds)."

"I can call Sakura over and let her do all the chores. You know she likes to watch Jurina swim by."

"No, you have to do it yourself. And you call yourself a co-parent? And Sakura's probably just weirded out with that turtle", Her girlfriend tsked and started on showering herself with perfume. "I'll be back before lunch." And she kissed Maru squarely on the mouth, nibble a little on Maru's lower lip and squeeze her into a tight hug.

When they separated, Maru looked dazed and mind blown.

"I'll miss you," her girlfriend says again, sadly this time and planted a shy kiss on the corner of Maru's mouth and before Maru knows it, her girlfriend was out of the door.

"Autolock enabled," said by a robotic voice.

After a short walk in the park near their apartment, with only Orion glomping on some ducks and chasing pigeons while Maru nursing a hot coffee between her hands, they came back in her girlfriend-less apartment. Maru then feed their cat, Paru, and Orion. Both of them wiggling their furry butts as they inhaled their food.

She then feed a scoop of fish food to Jurina who was lazily swimming in her aquarium. When she went to birdcage by their balcony, she felt a pang of jealousy as the two love birds groomed eachother with their tiny beaks.

"Good for you two," Maru glumly muttered as she dump two scoopful of birdfeeds on their bowl.

She then proceeded to clean their apartment. Fixing their bed, wiping spotless tables and chairs, dusting bookshelves twice , and vacuuming their already dust free floor. When she was done, Maru slumped on the couch and noticed the unopened box on the coffee table.

"Oh!"

She remembered the package and proceeded on opening the box, this time with a box-cutter she found on the countertop.

When she was done, she carefully opened the flaps, tore layers of bubble wraps and watch the contents unravel to her.

It was her collection, carefully gathered all these years.

When Maru flew to Japan and had an unexpected turn in career, she was saddened to leave this part of her in Korea. Ofcourse her girlfriend knows these vast collection since she once visited her apartment in Korea and accidentally ran into her Shimazaki Haruka shrine while she was looking for the bathroom. It was a spare room dedicated to her most favored AKB48 member. And even in their new home, Maru never neglected to organize some of her collections she had bought as she stayed in Japan around her home office. Ofcourse her girlfriend didn't mind because she has, too, her own collections carefully placed around the house.

The posters which decorated her Shimazaki Haruka shrine before are now carefully rolled and wrapped in plastic. Her AKB48 CDs and Blu-ray DVDs which were proudly displayed before are now stacked up with a cushion of cloth in between the plastic case as Maru preferred not a scratch on them. The calendars were stacked and wrapped in a bubble wrap, afraid that the metal wires would scratch her other beloved merch. There are also action figures of her AKB48 favorite members with a number of Shimazaki Haruka in different poses and clothes and sizes each on their individual boxes. There's her Paruru mug which was custom-made, also a few pillow cases she ordered online. Also, cheap collection of ballpens, pencils, erasers, stickers, slippers (that is too big for Maru's feet), mouse pad, notebooks, and backscratcher and more. There's also her treasured photobook of Shimazaki Haruka, gifted to her by Hiroko and a few Shimazaki Haruka custom-made plush toys which samchon gave her every Christmas, and a photo album filled with carefully collected Shimazaki Haruka photos, which Aeri helped her bid online.

Maru can't help but to sigh lovingly at each item. She carefully removed each one from the box, letting her fingers trail at the plastic covering her collection. When she reached at the bottom of the box, she gasped at the sight.

It was her Nike shoebox. She reached for it and opened the cover.

There rested among the package peanuts is a foot-long balljointed doll.

The doll's glass eyes are looking at her under the fan of her black eyelashes. Her lips pink and glossy and her cheeks dimpled as she was smiling shyly to Maru.

"Baby..." Maru cooed as she lifted one resin arm and locked a finger in the inside of the hand of Shimazaki Haruka doll.

This doll had been a product of Maru doing small part-time jobs for months. She played online games for lame gamers, she tended the convenience store, she had fried some chicken and delivered jajangmyun to houses, she made lattes for snobbish office workers, she mixed alcohol for rich businessmen, and she had climbed mountains and picked ginseng for this. This doll is the embodiment of her hardwork, tears and blood, and obsession. This was the center, the Queen of her shrine and not even her girlfriend knows this (because the doll was inside her Nike box, a makeshift bed Maru made for her doll).

It started with her search for merchandises of her favorite idol. And after searching the web for various dolls, she has stumbled upon a small website for doll collectors. Some were pro in painting the doll's faces, making them look like famous actors and actresses, some were painted like idols and it perked her interest. She researched for 3 nights. Obsessively watching YouTube videos of doll owners. Reading Tumblr and blogsites of how to make your own wig, how to make doll clothes, how to make the eyeballs. And after a month of watching them she decided to save up money for her own doll.

After six months of working, and a month of waiting for the package, her custom-made doll arrived. She even made a box opening video for her to reminisce the first ever feelings she had.

She remembered she was slightly disappointed.

Her doll was faceless, her eye sockets are empty. Her face has no colors. The resin body is naked, and her head is bald.

A month later, her Shimazaki Haruka doll, was glaring at her. Maru thinks she needs to practice her face-painting more. Her clothes was a pre-made sailor uniform, ordered online because it was 75% off. Her socks have different lengths, because Maru don't know how to sew, and her shoes where from an old Barbie doll she found lying in a dumpster.

Maru was placing her newly made beanie made from her old sock on doll Haruka's head when Hiroko came inside her room. The older woman looked at the doll who looked like she has cancer because of the lack of wig and at the helpless look on Maru's face.

"Oh, Neko-chan..."

A week later, doll Haruka has 137 set of clothes, 87 pair of shoes, 53 undergarments, 41 pair of socks of different designs and sizes, 95 pieces of accessories, and 37 wigs of different hair color and styles. Doll Haruka had her face pofessionally painted, a small blush dusting her cheeks and her smile brighter with her glossed lips. (Courtesy of Hiroko-san) And had various home-made furnitures that Maru delicately assembled on nights.

Hiroko only beamed at her when Maru dressed her doll for the first time in Japanese traditional clothes. She trembled as she let it kneel on a small plush pillow and placing a small teacup on her little hands.

Maru smiled wetly at the doll and pulled the gloves folded and tucked at the bottom of the box's lid. She wore them and carefully picked the doll up, fixing the doll's wig, straightening her already straight clothes and fixing her shoes. She let it sit on the table and opened another box nested beneath her Nike box. "Now, what do you want to wear for today?"

Maru had finished putting her collection back to the box, re-taped it and placed it safely in their closet, except for her Nike shoebox and another box filled with doll clothes and accessories. When she received a text that her girlfriend would be late and that Maru could order some food for lunch but would be back for dinner. But Maru opened their cupboards instead, boiled some water and unpacked a pack of ramen.

When she placed it on the dining table, sitting across her on the table was doll Haruka on her own dining set and sporting a miniature ramen bowl and chopsticks on her hands.

"I'm glad you're keeping me company." Maru smiled and started on eating her noodles.

After lunch, Maru unboxed her gaming consoles and played games on their widescreen TV, beside her is doll Haruka and on her hand is her own plastic mini-gaming console, smiling at the TV all the same.

After Maru got bored playing, she pulled a random book from their shelf and lounged on the couch with her feet propped up by the arm on the end.

Beside her, on the coffee table is doll Haruka sitting prettily on her arm chair with a book.

Maru swooned.

Maru woke up with a start. The first ray of sunset filtered through the glass wall and she looked at the clock. In an hour her girlfriend would be coming home and she should be starting on preparing for dinner. But first...

Doll Haruka was standing on the breakfast counter. She's wearing a bandana headband to keep her bangs from falling and a pink frilly apron on her clothes. Her hands were rested on the countertop of her kitchen set as she watched patiently on her empty plastic pots placed on the top of the plastic stove.

Maru smiled as she tasted the soup from a pot and added a pinch of pepper to it.

"Perfect."

"I'm home!"

"Okaeri!" Maru rushed to the door. She placed her blue apron on the chair and meet her girlfriend who was placing her handbag on the couch. (Welcome home)

"How was your day?" Her girlfriend asked and meet Maru's lips halfway.

"Oh... It was fun!" Maru smiled and started on setting up the table.

"Fun? Really?" Her girlfriend muttered as she sat on one of the empty chairs which was replied with an enthusiastic hum from Maru. "Love, are you sick?" She asked because Maru doesn't do fun. She always replies with an, "okay", "it's alright" or "no, I missed you a lot" then would attack her with little kisses until she can't breathe.

"I'm fine, really."

"So... what did you do?" The girlfriend asks scooping the soup into the little bowls they bought two days ago.

"Well... I walked Orion to the park, feed all the pets and cleaned the litterbox, the birdcage and set the thermostat in Jurina's aquarium. Played some games for a while, read half of the book and slept for two hours then made dinner." Maru explained, her voice tilting in a melody she had never heard of before.

"O-okay..." She picked a pickle and munched on it, weirded out with her beloved enthusiasm.

When the two of them finished eating, Maru draw a bath for her girlfriend and started on cleaning the kitchen. Maru bathed after, put on some matching PJs with her girlfriend and eyed the Nike box on their closet longingly before walking to the bed and sitting beside her girlfriend.

"You know..." Her girlfriend whispered by Maru's ear that had Maru's stomach clench needily. "I don't have anything scheduled tomorrow morning. We could break in the bed today."

"Y-yeah?"

Her girlfriend bit her lip as she loomed over Maru. "Yes." As she kicked a leg and sat on Maru's lap. " I missed you a lot." She whimpered and embraced Maru tightly.

"I missed you, too." Maru breathed in a good amount of her girlfriend's scent.

And they kissed. Hungrily, exploringly and lovingly wild. Their hands roamed each other's bodies and as her girlfriend started to undress herself, Maru watched in horror when the closet door slowly opened.

"Baby!" Maru exclaimed and started on pulling her girlfriend's clothes back and held her hands tightly.

"Baby? You never call me that." Her girlfriend gaped. Then she was pushed aside by Maru as Maru rushed to the closet and locked it firmly.

Maru looked so panicked that her girlfriend got so curious over what was inside the closet.

"Love? What's wrong? Is someone in there?"

"N-no! Noone! There's no one." Maru assured her as she flailed her arms frantically.

"Are you sure?" She asked but Maru only gulped so she decided to take the matter in hand. She got up from the bed and shoved Maru aside after fighting for the door lock and opened the closet.

It was dark and full of their clothes and shoe boxes. Her girlfriend stuck an arm and started on reaching out to spacious areas and found that there as no one. She sighed and closed the door and put on the lock.

"Well?" Maru asked calming down and holding her girlfriend's hand pulling her away from the closet.

"There's no one."

"Told you so."

Her girlfriend only hummed as she went back to bed. Her back turned to Maru.

"Oyasumi," she said as she turned her lamp off on her side. (Good night.)

Maru only frowned, putting her own lights out and hugged her girlfriend from behind.

Their morning was domestic as ever. They shared slow kisses after Maru woke up ehen she found her girlfriend fixing breakfast. The impending fight forgotten from last night and the two lazily planted soft kisses in each other's lips.

"We could do it in the kitchen." Maru whispered as her left hand started on groping her girlfriend's right butt cheek and her other hand massaging the inside of her girlfriend's thigh.

"N-no, not in the kitchen. We cook food in here." Her girlfriend moaned but all the same grinded on Maru's fingers.

"Livingroom?"

"Oh, yes!"

When they reached to the living room they discovered that there were no curtains on their full glass wall.

"Bedroom." Her girlfriend started to pull her to their room but Maru look so scandalized and pulled her hand.

"No."

"Love?"

"Just... Just not there, please?"

Her girlfriend looked at her confused.she then headed straight to their room and started to open all the doors of their closet. Maru could ony watch her reach out again and started on checking if there was hidden doors or something.

When the last of the doors are closed, her girlfriend look like she was about to cry.

"Orion!" She called and dog bounced to their bedroom. "I'm going to walk the dog out." She announces and picked her coat and plucked the lead hooked beside the door. "I'm eating breakfast outside."

The door clicked shut.

"Autolock enabled."

For the first time, Maru felt ashamed.

Maru walked to the closet and opened the box. Doll Haruka was smiling brightly at her. She wore a white nightgown and there was a little dirt on her arm.

"I'm going to take care of you."

After cleaning up Haruka, she had the doll dressed up in some pretty sundress, matched her shoes to the color of her handbag and placed some sunglasses on her hair.

"Beautiful." Maru says and tears fell from her eyes.

She placed doll Haruka back in the box and waited for her girlfriend to return, her fingers deep in Paru's fur.

When the girlfriend returned, the two of them had red-rimmed eyes, flushed cheeks and red swollen lips. The two embraced tightly and cuddled on the couch and spent the rest of the morning watching some old Japanese gameshow.

Two days later, the girlfriend discovered some blonde strand of hair on their bathroom sink.

She clutched the strand of hair tightly and stopped herself from crying.

"Love..." Her girlfriend says as the two of them lied on their bed, equally naked as Maru acting as the big spoon and her girlfriend's back on her.

"Yeah?"

"You'll tell me when there's another person, right?" Her girlfriend whispered.

"Huh? What brought this on?"

"Please... Just tell me when that time comes, okay?"

"I don't understand."

"Please..." She trembled and Maru thinks this is her fault. She embraced her tightly as her girl curled in tighter to herself.

"I will... I promise." Maru says, but she knew that it would impossible.

"Thank you." She sobbed.

Four days later, the girlfriend found a small piece of jewelry on the carpet. It was a small tack earring with a small diamond on the end of the thin wire.

She placed it carefully on a piece of tissue and put it on the coffee table, where Maru could see it whenever she looks for it.

She left home in a hurry and came back by midnight — drunk.

Maru doesn't wear an earring.

Maru had enough. Her girlfriend doesn't even speak to her anymore. One day her girlfriend came home drunk, ignored Maru's nagging and questions of where she had been to or who was with her. Maru bristled when her girlfriend continued to ignore her and drunkenly dropped herself to bed without removing her socks and coat.

Maru just sighed to herself and started on undressing her girl. She wiped her body with warm water, clothed her and kissed her forehead worriedly. When she tucked her lover to bed and when settled beside her, Maru can feel her tremble and soft sobs whacked her small body. Maru did as best she could, holding into her lover afraid that when Maru wakes up, she would be gone.

Maru can't even understand what was happening. One week in their new home and their relationship is falling apart. She thinks that this is some curse or something. She definitely heard the landlord says that it was pre-owned by a married couple and decided to sell the place when they got divorced.

But Maru wasn't even religious. She paced on the kitchen sporting a new apron with the same design as doll Haruka, which was sitting on the countertop, her resin legs dangling on air.

"What should I do?" Maru whispered as she paced back and forth. "This definitely started when we made love in that new bed. She started on saying like there was some sort of third party between us."

Maru paused from her pacing and looked at the doll straight in its glassy eyes.

"She isn't cheating on me, right?" Maru whispered and she sunk on the nearby seat. "But she's not like that."

Maru thinks of the times her girlfriend pushed her when she tried to kiss her. There was one time when Maru playfully planted a kiss on her cheek, too overjoyed that she found the missing earring of doll Haruka the day before but her girlfriend only ducked away from her and ran to the bathroom muttering that she's going to be sick. Maru only ignored that time because after that encounter, she can hear wretching and vomiting in the bathroom. When Maru later came with a glass of water, she was again ignored as her girlfriend tells her that she wants some tea instead.

Maru watched doll Haruka which was smiling at her, never judging and also never talking. She sighed and Maru untied the apron from doll Haruka and started to pick another set of clothes from the box.

"Today, Haruka's going be a guest-host in a talkshow. Let's try to match her up."

Maru was excited, there was a new package delivered to her before dinner and when she opened it, it was the new curtains she had ordered online. Hiroko helped her match it up on the interior of their living room, also choosing the design and quality that would be suited during daytime and night.

Orion sniffed at the new curtain, followed by Paru who left after a few sniffs, uninterested. Jurina only swam by and the lovebirds ignored it, too busy cuddling on their perch.

"Autolock enabled."

The sound pulled Maru out of her thoughts and walked towards the foyer, welcoming her tired girlfriend as she plucked her shoulder bag and gathered her coat.

"Welcome home!" Maru greeted her lovingly. She was excited to do the most awaited deed on their couch. She knows that her girlfriend is looking forward to it. Maru though hard and she traced the problem way back when they tried to do it the living room but found out of the lack of curtains. Now, there are two beautiful heavy set of curtains hiding their privacy away from the public's eyes.

Maru placed the bag and coat on an armchair and led her girlfriend to the couch.

"I know that we should be choosing the curtain together but I wanted to surprise you."

Maru watched her girlfriend crane her neck and spare a look at the said curtain.

"I asked someone who is expert in this field. I showed her our interior and she said beige would suit our living room well. Then I had her picked among some items I personally liked but she said, I should choose this kind of material because it's durable, eash to clean and — Eh?! Why are you crying?"

Maru panickedly kneeled in front of her girlfriend as she started to cry. Maru tried to hold her hand but her girlfriend clutched at a throw pillow.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"I'm not your baby!" Her girlfriend shouted which shocked Maru. "I—I... Let's breakup." She deflated and started crying harder.

"W-what do you mean? I... We just..." Maru started on babbling, she can't understand this situation. Her girlfriend should like her surprise. She was very sure of it when she picked the design, even their dog approves of it. She started on rummaging her thought of what to say but she's reaching nowhere and she's starting to feel so helpless. Then her thoughts stopped altogether and Maru can only think what can make her beloved stay."... So much. I—I love you so much."

"Do you?!" Her girlfriend snarled and threw the pillow at her. "You were... You were ch-cheating on me."

Maru gawks and she threw the pillow back to the couch. "I'm not! I'm not cheating on you. Where did you get that idea?" Maru softened her glare, there must be some reason why her beloved girlfriend acts like that. But there wasn't anybody else. She had remained loyal and so, so inlove with this girl that sometimes it scares her. "Tell me who told you that!"

"No one!" There were tears on her girlfriend's eyes, rolling to her cheeks, never ending. And Maru badly wanted to brush them away. "You bought this damn curtain with her, right?!" She waves forcefully at the curtain and surprising Orion and Paru which made tge two fluffs raced to the kitchen.

"No way! Hiroko-san helped me buy it!"

"Excuses!" She scoffed and shoved Maru. "Who's that girl you were hiding then? You even let her entered OUR apartment! I saw a blonde hair on the sink when neither of us had dyed hair! And–and there's this earring I saw the other day. I don't own that one and I know don't even wear one! Tell me if that isn't proof enough! And on our second night–oh, god, our second night into OUR NEW home and you invited someone else into OUR room. Just who is that you were hiding that night in that damned closet?!!" Her girlfriend heaved and like a burnt out candle she stopped crying as she realizes something.

"I'm going to... move out." Her girlfriend says and it's enough to bring Maru out of her shock.

"No..." Maru whispered as she held on her girlfriend's hand.

"I should leave... Now!" She says as she tried to free her arm, pulling it from Maru's grasp.

"No, let me explain!" "And then what?! Hurt me some more?" She pulled her arm successfully but she ended up sitting back couch instead. Maru kneeled infront of her again. Her heart ached when she saw the tears on Maru's eyes. God, she love this girl so much for letting Maru do this to her. The girlfriend thinks she doesn't deserve to be this hurt. But she also thinks that Maru shouldn't be this hurt when Maru was the one who was hurting her from the start. So, she gave up, giving small chance to fix this. To fix them.

Lacing their fingers together as Maru begged her, "Come with me. I need to show you something. Please..."

How could she deny when Maru looks so desperate to her? She nods and followed Maru to their bedroom.

Maru lets her sit on the bed as she opened the closet and got a shoe box. She placed it on her girlfriend's lap and urged her to open the box.

She gasped. The doll looked at her with a small shy smile, a blush on her resin cheeks, as she meets her owner's beloved girlfriend for the first time.

"She's... She's..." She has no words for this but Maru helpfully finished her sentence.

"She's... You."

And Shimazaki Haruka cried and laugh so hard as she clutched the box tightly, afraid to muss up the delicate doll nestled on a bunch of foamy peanuts.

"I hate you so much." Haruka says as she throw a fist to Maru's chest. Maru caught it and kissed her fingers which made her cry some more.

"I love you, too."

That night they placed doll Haruka by the couch she's wearing mini-headphones and a small laptop was perched on her lap. Beside her is Paru on her back and her white belly exposed.

The two dorks are inside their bedroom, making love slowly, kissing tears in each other's eyes as they explored a new part of their relationship.

"I still hate you for letting me cry this much." Haruka pulled Maru closer, letting their lips touch but doesn't kiss.

"I hate myself, too, if that would comfort you." Maru grinned, her eyes, too, are puffy and Haruka gently brushes some stray hair from her cheeks.

"So... She's Baby?" Haruka shyly asked.

"Hn... My Baby."

"And... And, what am I to you?" Haruka looked so small when she asked it, she held on to Maru afraid that a doll would win her lover over.

"You're my lover, my girlfriend, my partner, my everything, my forever... My love and life. My beautiful, beautiful Haruka."

Haruka blushed and she ducked her head. "You're an idiot." Haruka says, planting a soft kiss on Maru's kiss-bruised lips.

"Your kind of idiot." Maru murmured and started on deepening the kiss. "And besides, Baby and I go way back. She was everything."

There was a sparkle in Maru's eyes that made Haruka gritted her teeth. "Shut up."

"Make me — A–Ah... Haruka~"

Two months later, there was a built-in glassed-covered wooden shelves in the living room. Each shelf was designed like a room, filled furnitues and trinkets of random miniature things. And on the bedroom at the top most shelf are two dolls sitting on a miniature couch, resin hands holding and equally smitten with each other.

Doll Haruka smiled her dimpled smile while doll Maru had a small smile playing on her lips. The two are wearing a couple sweater. Pink and full of hearts.

The two are equally and irrevocably in love.

Extra:

"My Baby's all grown up!" Maru sobbed as she placed doll Haruka carefully on the miniature bed, beside doll Maru.

"Someday, you'll find yourself sleeping on the couch alone." Haruka warned and pushed the glass cover close. There was a small click and she walked back a step to look at their miniatures selves looking quite contented in their bed.

"Oh... Are you jealous, Shimazaki-san?" Maru teased then wrapped her girlfriend in her arms.

"Congratulations, Hoshino-san. You just won a night in the living room." Haruka bristled as she opened the latch of the doll house and pulled doll Maru out, leaving doll Haruka with a sad smile. "Yobo and I are going to sleep in the bedroom tonight." Haruka left a gaping Maru. "I'll leave the blanket to you, it gets cold here." Then the sound of the door lock.

"Y-Yobo?!?"

#AKB48 #ThingsThatMIx-fic #OC-Hoshino Maru #Shimazaki Haruka #Matsui Jurina #Miyawaki Sakura #yamamoto sayaka #watanabe miyuki #Haruka is a doll #Creepy Fangirling #Jurina is a soft-shelled turtle #Sayaka and Miyuki are lovebirds #Sakura is a clueless girl as always lol #TTM #shortcut48

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