#luke newton get your shit together

[toutvatoujoursbien]

A (relatively new-ish) fan’s perspective on Luke Newton

(I wrote my very first Tumblr post last month and now I think I’ve chosen the path of essayist/suffering. I’ve also been writing this on and off for four weeks because it seems like every other day, something new pops up or the fandom has a meltdown of some kind. I’m not even sure if it’s worth posting, but I think, like my first one, I needed to get this out of my system in order to TRY and return to being a normal person - which is still unlikely because Lukola has me in a chokehold. NOTE: I finished the majority of this on July 19, before all the weird-ass stuff happened over the weekend, and haven’t had the chance to post until now. Anyway, this is going to be long, full of ramblings that are hopefully organized in a cohesive manner, and all opinions and observations are my own. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings, okay?)

I’ve really struggled to understand why the whole Bridgerton S3 and Luke Newton PR stunt has embedded itself into my brain the way it has. Like, how could the actions of someone I don’t know still be lingering in my thoughts even now, weeks later? After my first post, I realized that there was more to the entire LN situation than I was previously unaware of - so I started digging. None of this information is hidden or secret, it was publicly available and therefore the fans picked up on it quickly. But I, personally, DID NOT KNOW ANY OF IT, going into S3, and I think that’s why everything has hit me like a ton of bricks. So I thought, surely I’m not the only new(ish) fan who has suffered from this emotional and mental whiplash? 

I really, really, really loved Luke’s portrayal of Colin and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching all the interviews and behind-the-scenes from S3. I would also love to continue to support him as he builds his acting career. However, I didn’t have a full picture, which unfortunately includes a history of making - what I think are - poor and questionable decisions in his personal life that he also allowed to bleed into his professional one. And that’s how I find myself struggling with the dichotomy of everything I’ve seen him do during Bridgerton promo vs. lots of other actions he’s taken. So let’s talk about it, okay? (Importantly, I reserve the right to update my current opinions as more information comes to light.)

I want it to be clear that I am in no way hating on Luke. Part of my struggle with writing this post has been because I don’t want this to be misconstrued as more hate being thrown his way. That is not my intention, at all. Seeing “fans” over the past few weeks absolutely rip into him on social media has been heartbreaking and deeply unsettling. This type of behavior is ugly and nasty and no one should be subjected to it. Full stop. As others have said: it’s okay to have thoughts and criticisms (criticism ≠ hate), but please keep it to the appropriate corners of the Internet. I think you can admire/support a famous person, but you should also be able to call them out on their conduct, particularly the stuff that happens in public. Blind love/following and putting people on pedestals is never going to allow any room for reflection and/or growth. I think there is a LOT of nuance in the whole discussion around him, his past actions, his handling of things now, and what’s in store for the future.

Okay, deep breaths & continue after the cut (because this got… wordy).

Some brief background on how I got here: As noted previously, I’ve been a longtime fan of both Polin and Bridgerton, first with the book series and then with the tv show. But, for whatever reason, I never even thought about jumping into the fandom until earlier this year, in anticipation of Season 3. I will say that I have been delighted with Nicola and Luke and their work as Polin from the start, but with the nature of the show being what it is, I just didn’t pay as much attention until it was their turn to lead. I watched some behind the scenes and promos occasionally, but not consistently. It wasn’t until around the February/Valentine’s event that I started to take notice and then I fell down the rabbit hole in April (literally, figuratively, and spiritually 😅). I say all this to illustrate that up until the spring, I was part of the General Audience, though admittedly with a bias towards viewing Bridgerton favorably.  Another factor is that I got most of my fandom content from Twitter (again, I’m never going to call it X), with the occasional peek into Instagram and Tumblr. Yes, Twitter is a hellscape. But I am also lazy and only have so much time to scroll online. And since everything seems to get cross-posted everywhere, it was easiest for me to keep mostly to one social media site to consume all my Bridgerton content. But I point this out because I now see this as an error on my part. Why? Because I wasn’t getting a well-rounded picture of the situation around L, N and S3. Remember my own self-admitted social media bubble? Sigh. The fast pace of tweets meant I could blink-and-miss something on Twitter, unless it trended (or really riled the fans up). It’s a breeding ground for the hyperbolic and for discourse, in general. Twitter also seems to be divided into the Luke Haters (let’s be real, most of their “reasoning” is just uncalled for, vile hate) and the Luke Apologists (who have the tendency to exhibit, imo, some gross-excuse-all-his-behaviors-he-never-does-anything-wrong rhetoric). So it wasn’t until I started noticing chatter of Luke’s past actions that it prompted me to start looking deeper into what others have witnessed and noted online, particularly on this platform. Again, it wasn’t like I was trying to find some sort of hush-hush subject matter. Instead, I rather got the impression that those established in the fandom had a sort of unspoken agreement to keep these discussions to DMs and group chats - mostly as to not detract from Polin’s upcoming season. (But seriously, great of y’all to keep it locked down, however it would have really helped a girl out all the times I was like, “why is everyone so mad?” 🤣) And a lot of things started clicking into place once I knew more of the details. So I’ve put together a list of high-level topics/points that I didn’t know before, being relatively new to the fandom. Perhaps this can help other fans who are trying to wrap their heads around the various discussions occurring now and may feel clueless.

One more thing, HUGE shout-out to @jack4132cf for giving me a concise timeline of… well, everything I apparently missed last year+ when I wasn’t part of the fandom 😆🙌🏼 They’ve really helped me fill in the blanks (of which I had many)! Also, darcytaylor has a great 3-part deep dive, and I’ve read (and backtracked) through most of herejusttosufferalong and allsortsofthingsmpov ’s blogs, among others. They’ve provided a place for differing opinions and perspectives to be voiced in a respectful manner (unless you’re a troll, in which any clap-back is justified). I may not agree with everyone’s take, but I firmly believe that hearing views from others has helped shape my own thought process.

Let’s begin, shall we?

The Hot Fuck Boy Summer™️ (which I’m trademarking as HFBS)

Bridgerton S3 wrapped up filming in March 2023 and then Luke starred in the play The Shape of Things, which was in production from around May-July 2023. At some point prior to all this, Luke and his previous gf broke up - this is reported on by several media outlets in March, as well as “news” that he joined the dating app Raya. This is where, I think, his questionable behavior starts to raise eyebrows. It’s not the fact that he’s dating - I feel like fans gave him a pass since he just ended a long-term relationship (Enter the mentality some had of “let him have his hot boy summer!”). No, I think the issue is that he was not at all private or discreet about it. 

Remember when I said I think he let choices in his personal life bleed over into his professional one? Yeah, there were multiple glaring examples happening in real time last year, and the fandom took notice. He started publicly following certain users on IG and liking their posts, (unfortunately) many of whom were young, female models and dancers, under the age of 23. He (foolishly) followed his private account on his public profile, and then tried to backpedal. He engaged with some online flirtations that didn’t sit well with the fans (cough, E. Bear, cough), and then tried to backpedal. Mind you, all of this occurred and at some point later on, it’s then also decided that he’s going to move (aka, clean up) his social media presence to be more work-related. My point is:

Luke was digitally messy and left a trail (several, really). 

In conjunction with the HFBS, we also have:

& That Friend Group

Ah yes, the “boys.” Look, clearly I don’t know his friend group in real life, so all I can speak on is the image they give off based on their public social media accounts. And I, personally, am very unimpressed with what they’ve chosen to share with the world. My general perception is that L’s group of friends love to have a good time and show it off; seem to have an large amount of influence over him, particularly R; and can been seen as reaping the benefits of his success. He has discussed before how he likes to be generous with his friend group. During HFBS, they posted all about their vacations, on public accounts, and tagged Luke in them. They posted thirst trap photos and tagged Luke in them. They took quite a few boat trips and, once again, tagged Luke in them. Are we sensing a pattern here?

His friend group was also digitally messy and left trails.

I am in no way saying his friends aren’t allowed to post whatever they want on their accounts. It’s totally within their rights to have a good time and capture it on their pages, and I completely understand the desire to only show the “memorable” and “fun” stuff on social media. I just think it was short-sighted to NOT consider that Luke’s fans would be interested in seeing what he was up to with his friends - and you know that people will always, always dig around on the Internet. Maybe this was some kind of fun game to them? Maybe they enjoyed the attention? Maybe they didn’t think it was that big a deal? Who knows? But I think, in hindsight, it would have been safer and smarter to not have all this documented and out in the open, imo. 

My other understanding is that around the time the break up was “officially announced,” Luke’s ex began dating someone who was 22/23 at the time. His childhood friend R also ended a relationship last year and began dating a young woman around 22/23. Do I think R may have encouraged Luke in a certain direction dating-wise, especially considering that A was/is a friend of S, R’s new gf? Do I wonder if this was all to get back at J for starting a relationship with a new young thing, too? It seems likely, but of course this is all conjecture on my part. This is giving “high school drama” vibes, being played out in public, which is very, very  unfortunate.

However, Luke was ultimately the person who did not ask his friends to refrain from posting him on social media, as well as publicly following young women on socials and not being very discreet about his dating life, which is what raises my eyebrows…

The Age Gap Thing

Let’s just address this here and now. Remember, these are my opinions, each individual is entitled to their own, and I hope everyone takes a moment to really think and evaluate how they feel about the matter! I’m going to be very transparent and upfront about this:

I do not like the age gap between L and many of the young women he was showing interest in last year.

I’m viewing this from the lens of someone who is an elder Millennial and female. For me, personally, my dislike has more to do with: 1) A's age when they started dating/the age she is now (22/23); but more specifically 2) the power dynamics at play. 

I don’t have a problem with age gaps overall, because I believe that love can find us at many stages in life. However, I’m also of the opinion that a person 30+ should not be dating a someone in their early 20s. I’m not going to use the whole “the brain hasn’t been fully developed” argument, though valid. My issue has more to do with where an individual is in terms of life experience, emotional and overall maturity, and (this ties in with #2) financial stability within age gaps. In general, I find, say, a 45-year-old dating a 37-year-old to be on more even footing, which becomes even more so as you age. But a 22-year-old, presumably fresh out of college/university and about to embark on their next steps into adulthood, is just not in a position to date someone in their 30s. To me, your early 20s are the time for you to gain all the things I mentioned above (life experience, maturity, financial stability that is independently your own) as well as make plenty of mistakes. And that’s not to say any of that stops once you hit 30, or beyond! I know I’m constantly evolving and learning more about myself and my place in the world as each year passes.

My deeper discomfort comes from the inherent power dynamics and power imbalance between L/A. Of course L has lot more of the power in terms of money, resources and status; they are not equal partners. This article here (https://jill.substack.com/p/the-problem-with-men-who-date-much) illustrates these points much better than I can; I think it’s worth the read. 

Is he allowed to date whomever he so chooses? Yes. Are people allowed to feel the ick with the current choice/choices he made last year? Also yes. Does it entitle anyone to post nasty comments on his social media? Absolutely not. I may not personally like his choice, but it’s ultimately his to make. 

NOTE: I also want to address right here that, to me, his behavior isn’t “predatory” or whatever twisted narrative some folks are trying to push. Honestly, I think he’s gone the complete opposite direction from the type of women his ex and N are because it might be less complex/more simple both in terms of emotions and permanence. But obviously, pure speculation on my part. 

Antagonistic A

At some point during HFBS, L meets A and she becomes a part of That Friend Group. During Fall 2023, there are many trips to Soho Farmhouse and other posts made to R/S/A’s social media accounts. A in particular made quite a few posts that could be interpreted as her wanting to show she was with L, but never actually including him fully (these are the arms/legs photos that fans talk about and side-eye). Some of these types of posts have since been conveniently deleted. L and That Friend Group celebrate NYE24 at Soho Farmhouse, where everyone but him share photos and videos. On Jan 2, a photo of L and A kissing was circulated on social media -  they got caught in the video of the band playing. Also at the beginning of this year, A - for whatever fucking reason - started tagging along on various work trips and had a tendency to post TikTok’s from various hotel bathrooms. Again, insinuating that she’s with L but not outright showing it. 

The “InStyle stunt” - end of March/early April, there is a trip to Los Angeles which A posted stories and photos on IG. It’s later revealed that L was going to be featured in InStyle Magazine’s “This Guy” series, which included an interview, video and photoshoot, as well as an IG post that consisted of several polaroid, “boyfriend-style” pictures. The Instyle polariods were released three weeks after A’s posts, and let’s just say that A’s are a little too on the nose to be coincidence (also cue more hand/leg reveals…) Please note, again, that some of these photos on A’s account have been conveniently deleted/removed.

These are only a few examples of how… messy this all is and how it can be viewed as her antagonizing the fans. There is a lot of back and forth debate between “just leave her alone, she’s allowed to post what she wants” against “she’s clearly using social media to taunt the fandom/get attention/chase clout/etc.” When I finally learned about all the social media games being played, I just felt really unsettled for a few reasons.

Luke has stated that he wishes to keep his private life more private (see: social media clean-up from last fall). But, and this is my big issue here, A and That Friend Group don’t seem to WANT to be private. So to me, that can push people to question how much does he know what’s actually going on (he admits to not being online much) and, more importantly, how complicit is he with all of their postings? I personally feel like the narrative being pushed by his friends is very self-serving, and doesn’t seem like it’s in L’s best interest or protecting his privacy. Because I think we all know and understand that if a celebrity wants to keep certain things private, they have the money and resources to do so - some good examples that come to mind are Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, Benedict Cumberbatch, Dolly Parton, and our girl Nicola herself.

A has made it a pattern to post shortly after either Nicola or the main Bridgerton account posts something, usually on IG or TT; there is timely evidence of this. So much so that the fandom jokes about how obsessed she must be with N. And these posts don’t really have much substance - other than to show off her body or her latest vacation. It just all comes off as very insecure and seeking attention, whether it’s from L or from the public in general. Again, why do we feel the need to play social media games? But this does not mean she deserves hateful comments either. I personally don’t care for her or her actions, but as an older female, I also can’t help but be saddened by the fact that she’s making many, many poor choices in a very public forum. I can’t help but wonder if she’s going to have regrets later on when/if she reflects back on this time. 

The PR Stunt/Papgate

This has been dissected by the fandom to death and there are a plethora of theories on who exactly was responsible for calling the paparazzi, who knew what was actually going to happen, WHY did this occur, and how much did this impact the season and the press tour overall. It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin - hell, I’ve changed my opinion at least a dozen times over the past several weeks. Regardless, the thing that aggravates me the most about the whole thing is the absolutely terrible and suspicious timing of it. As stated in my previous post: Here’s my point: I think what should have been a moment of triumph and a joyous occasion for Nic, Luke, and Bridgerton season 3, was sadly overshadowed by the aforementioned shitstorm. And that’s a damn shame. Too many cast and crew put in a lot of time, effort, and blood sweat and tears, to pull this all together.

I’m still personally stuck on a few things: 1) How did paps know when L was leaving the official after party? Additionally, how did they know which hotel L was going to for his after-after party? Because that’s where we got the super awkward handhold attempt photos. 2) Did L know about the first location but not the second one - which ties into was this an attempt by his PR team to distance himself from Bridgerton and Nicola now that promo was almost done? Because the way he looks from location 1 to 2 is vastly different. 3) If paps were there, why was literally NO ONE else from the cast also photographed??? 4) Why has DM double (and tripled) down over the past few weeks on how she got those exclusive photos in the first place? And 5) Who ultimately has benefited the most from this whole PR stunt 🤔??? (Because I sure as hell don’t think it’s Luke…)

The Cinnamon Roll vs The Bad Boy

Luke has stated in several interviews that he’s interested in going for edgier, darker roles. I think that’s great that he wants to try something new and diversify; I would love to see him in whichever type of role interests him! However, he’s also spent 4-5 years playing Colin, a character that is quirky, kind and lovable (much more so on the show, thanks to Luke’s portrayal) and known for being the ultimate “wife guy” amongst the fandom. It’s also been mentioned time and time again that Luke is most like his character (by Luke himself and his Bridgerton cast mates). Nic speaks so highly of him, and the way he presented himself during the 6 months of press was really wonderful; I think he has a deep understanding and love for his role, and he was a genuinely supportive partner to his co-lead during filming. Think golden retriever energy - which is NOT a bad thing, at all!

If there is any truth to the PR stunt being organized by his team (and I’m in no way saying this is fact) as a way to differentiate/disassociate him from Bridgerton/Nicola, then I think this was a miscalculation on their part. We know that Luke did a lot of editorial photoshoots during the promo tour; and looking at the pictures now, it seems like there was definitely a narrative/aesthetic that was trying to be pushed of a more intense, moody and provocative L. Which is also fine! I don’t think he must be one personality or the other; humans are multi-faceted and complex, it’s what makes us so interesting.

The (Ongoing) Fallout

This is really difficult to write about because, honestly, I feel like we’re still witnessing it happening in real time, bit by agonizing bit. What we do know is that at this moment, he hasn’t announced any new projects other than returning for Bridgerton Season 4. He hasn’t announced any major brand deals and we don’t know what his next steps are career-wise. Which is completely baffling to me because I would think he and his team would want to capitalize on the momentum of a very successful season of a Netflix/Shondaland production. However, this is his life and his job, so until he comes forward with literally anything to say (a statement, an announcement, hell, he hasn’t even publicly claimed to have a gf FFS), then everything else is just noise and speculation. As much as I hope he’s not taking another HFBS, I also wouldn’t blame him for wanting to step away from the spotlight. He’s been unfairly dragged and smeared since the Part 2 premiere. Do I think he and his team/friend group have made a some missteps along the way? Yes, but again, no one deserves the nasty comments and vitriol that has been flung his way. 

So How Do We Move Forward?

I keep thinking back to the adage: When someone shows you who they are, believe them.*

And isn’t this the root of my (and perhaps others’) struggle? Because it’s been really difficult to reconcile someone Nicola calls “a true gentleman, the kindest friend, a dream costar” with a man who seemingly (?) goes along with pap walks, Instagram subterfuge, and appears to be distancing himself from the very project and costars that helped propel him into the leading man spotlight. For me personally, I go back to my point that people are multi-faceted and deeply complex. I think Luke can be all of those things; I also think he might be struggling right now to figure out who he is and what he wants next after being scrutinized so heavily.

Also from my first post: We have to remember, though, that what we’re shown is only a fraction of their true selves, carefully and deliberately curated to accommodate their status as actors/celebrities/those in the public eye. 

I choose to believe that we saw glimpses of the real Luke throughout the press tour. (ColinBridgey is a rockstar and compiled everything into a master list for our enjoyment!) I choose to believe Nicola knows Luke a hell of a lot better than almost everyone else yapping in this conversation. I choose to believe that his anxiety and quietness could be perceived as standoffish, and unfortunately he wasn’t able to shine as much as Nicola during the press tour, but they are a team and have each other’s backs - there is genuine love there, after all. I choose to believe that social media posting and likes are not indicative of the actual friendship and relationship between L and N. I would love to see him post more, or be more vocal in publicly thanking Bridgerton and Nicola - however, I realize those are expectations I have/desire and he does not owe me anything. 

I choose to believe that despite the mistakes and missteps, he’s a decent human being who deserves to live his life on his own terms and at his own speed. I really, really hope that whenever he announces his next project, I can be joyful and supportive. There’s a lot of talk about giving him grace, which I agree with. I cannot imagine, nor do I desire to be in the public eye this way; it’s easy for us and others to feel entitled to say things behind our screens and keyboards, but these are real, actual people with lives and feelings.

I do think that it is for the best interest of the fandom to try and ignore A and That Friend Group (and DM) as much as possible. And I will be the first to admit that it is really fucking hard to do so. Like I’ve said before, I try to ignore toxicity and hate, but I am also human and therefore imperfect and capable of pettiness. There is just something about this situation (probably how much Lukola captivated me and how much disdain I have for his friend group) that makes me watch everything play out like it’s a train on fire, careening towards an unfinished bridge, over a ravine. Sometimes I feel bad because I wonder if I’m adding to the entire spectacle with my continued interest. But then I remember that I specifically keep it to this corner of the internet, and I’ve found a nice little community where we can gossip and discuss and dissect it all.

If you’ve made it to the end, thank you. This is just everything I’ve been ruminating over the past month, put into word vomit form. I would looove to hear your thoughts and takes on everything/anything discussed above. Maybe you have a different perspective or noticed something that I missed.

*Fun fact: In my research, I learned that this saying comes from Maya Angelou’s “A Song Flung Up to Heaven” and is actually "Believe people when they tell you who they are. They know themselves better than you.” The more well-known version comes out of an Oprah Winfrey interview with Angelou in 1997, where they were discussing life lessons. Okay, I’ll stop being a nerd now.

[darcytaylor]

Luke Newton.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of insanity. Things have been heated, things have been a mess.

You would have thought that the world premier of part 2 of Bridgerton would have been a joyous occasion but it turned out to be one big mess.

The fandom is against each other, the actors I believe are confused, mistakes have been made by so many, and Nicola keeps trying to save the day.

The rest of this message is for Luke, and Luke only (because the reason for all of this is because of you) - Please for the love of god get yourself a better team. Put yourself in timeout. I need you to start caring about your career and stop caring about your social life. People are rooting for you and I can't even begin to understand why you are doing what you are doing. Please read my deep dives to further understand why you are in this mess.

Thank you for your time.

I feel like I'm watching a train wreck in slow motion. What is happening?

[thewispsings]

broken up? no, engagement! | max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x actress!reader

summary: y/n l/n has a weird way of announcing hers and max’s engagement.

liked by, danielricciardo, charles_leclerc, and 602,927 others!

yourusername: i no longer have a boyfriend.

view comments below!

user1: wait what

user2: i’m sorry???

user3: DID YOU AND MAX BREAK UP???

user4: no no no

user5: this CANNOT mean what i think it does

user6: you’re kidding me right

charles_leclerc: please answer my messages!

user8: no way

user9: THE CAPTION???

danielricciardo: ?

danielricciardo: answer my messages please

landonorris: mine too?

user10: does anyone know what is going on?

user11: so you’re available now 😏

user12: you were too pretty for max anyways 🙄

landonorris: um what’s going on?

user13: lando just being as lost is so??

user14: wait but why would she and max break up

user15: i’m so…confused?

user16: MAX ISNT IN THE LIKES??? OMG NOOO

— f1gossip has posted new pictures!

f1gossip: y/n l/n was seen cozying up with cast mate, Luke Newton amidst breakup rumors between her and max verstappen. thoughts?

view comments below!

user17: “cozying up” and it’s her taking a picture of him ??? 🙄

user18: admin is acting like they were making out in front of everyone…

user19: oh!

user20: users on twitter were saying max was THERE with them so??

user21: she moves on fast!

user22: this sounds wrong…

user23: we literally know NOTHING about hers and max’s relationship or WHY they broke up. let’s not assume.

user24: my heart just broke

user25: okay but her and luke are kinda cute together? no? just me?

user26: HER AND MAX WERE CUTERRR

user27: i’ll start foaming at the mouth if y/n l/n doesn’t come out and say her caption was just a joke.

user28: HER AND MAX WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIEDDDD!!!!!😓😓😓

user29: i can’t do this rn. i just can’t.

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 962,028 others!

maxverstappen1: I understand that, without my agreement, my lovely finance has put out a instagram post this morning indicating that we have broken up. This is wrong, we have not broken up. We got engaged. We are to be wed.

view comments below!

yourusername: i thought they would understand what i meant 😞

user30: GIRL ALL YOU SAID WAS YOU NO LONGER HAD A BF???

user31: you did NOT phrase your words correctly

user32: gave me heart attack and for what 😐

user33: don’t play with me like that ever again.

danielricciardo: i love you @/yourusername, but please do not play with my heart like that again.

danielricciardo: BUT YAY!!!! WEDDING OF THE CENTURY!!

user34: OMG ???

user35: I KNEW IT!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

user36: AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHH

user37: oh thank GOD

user38: pls don’t ever scare me like that again 💗

landonorris: OMG OMG OMG OMG ???!??!??

landonorris: AND YOU LOT DIDNT TELL ME ?!?!?

landonorris: YNSTAPPEN WEDDING!! AHHHH

user39: congratulations!!!

f1: about time you proposed 😒

maxverstappen1: ?

redbullracing: so excited for the red bull themed wedding!! ☺️

yourusername: yeah that won’t be happening

redbullracing: i understand.

user40: i’m crying??

user41: does this mean i don’t have a chance with y/n anymore ?? ☹️

user42: THAT SHOULDVE BEEN MEE

charles_leclerc: congratulations too you both 💗

maxverstappen1: thank you charles 💙💙

user43: omg just ask him to be your best man already 🙄🙄

oscarpiastri: it is an honor to have my tweet used as your engagement announcement 🧡🧡

yourusername: max couldn’t resist 😒

user44: i just know this wedding is going to be GORGEOUS

georgerussell63: congrats too you both! ❤️

yourusername: you’ll sing at the wedding right?

georgerussell63: duh 🙄

yourusername: perfect!

lewishamilton: so excited 💗💗

yukitsunoda0511: can i cook?

yourusername; of course you can yuki!!

user45: i’m so excited and it’s NOT EVEN MY WEDDING??

schecoperez: did you tell her how you were shitting yourself with nerves this entire week?

maxverstappen1: no 😒

yourusername: aw max 🥹🥹

liked by, maxverstappen1, georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, and 1,238,028 others!

yourusername; i got married today. it was cool. 10/10 would do again!

view comments below!

user46: was the wedding 10/10 or was the groom 10/10??

yourusername: both!

user45: OMG ITS HAPPENED??

user46: so happy for you both 🥹

maxverstappen1: 💙💙

georgerussell63: i personally think my singing brought everything together…

yourusername: it really did george, it really did

charles_leclerc: so incredibly happy for you both ❤️

user47: we all saw the video of you sobbing during the ceremony charles…

user48: to be fair, EVERYONE was sobbing

user49; their vows even made ME cry

landonorris: amazing wedding, 10/10 would attend again!

yourusername: thank you little lando 🧡🧡

oscarpiastri: i would like to request the video of my dancing to be scrubbed off of the internet.

maxverstappen1: no chance mate 😂

yourusername: it’s okay oscar, i thought your dancing was adorable!!

lewishamilton: me and roscoe had the times of our lives ❤️❤️

user50: ROSCOE WENT TO THE WEDDING ?? 😭

user51: not only roscoe, but alex and TWO of his cats 😭😭

liked by, yourusername, danielricciardo, yukitsunoda0511, shecoperez, and 1,629,028 others!

maxverstappen1: i married my bestfriend today. it was amazing. 10/10 would do again!

view comments again!

user52: he’s officially off the market ladies 😒

user53: he’s been off the market for 4 years ???

user54: if my man doesn’t love me as much as max loves y/n i don’t WANT HIM

user55: ever since y/ns “i no longer have a bf” post i’ve been thanking the gods that this is how it turned out

danielricciardo: bestfriend? wow, you get married and suddenly you forget who raised you.

maxverstappen1: y/n is my bestfriend. she always will be.

danielricciardo: JUST RUB IT IN THEN.

user56: omg her dress 😍😍

user57; them >>

user58: did you guys see that they BOTH took each others last name??

user59: wait really?

user58: yeah 🥹 it’s y/n l/n-verstappen and max verstappen-l/n

user60: that is the cutest thing ever

user61: the matching captions 😞😞

user62: remember last year when y/n made everyone believe they broke up??

user63: thank GOD that wasn’t true

yourusername: i love you mr l/n

maxverstappen1: i love you more mrs verstappen

user64: WHEN IS IT MY FUCKING TURN

[herejusttosufferalong]

Ok, I watched Tif's whole live (3.5hrs this time) and took notes for you. Can I just start off by saying I really respect how thoughtful of a fan she is? I really wanted her to get a little messy and she just wasn't going there (although I hope one day she gets comfortable enough to get a little messy cause she knows some shit and it would be hilarious). Sorry, this will be long...

Ok, she had Maria on as her guest this time. They went to the London premiere together and went through their entire timeline. Important points for red carpet

-Nic's group of friends came in on the red carpet before the cast got there (apparently lots of guests did). They recognized Jack and Louisa, but neither of them knew to look for Jake, so are just assuming he was with them as well

-Luke's family and A did not go in through the red carpet. Assumed they went in and exited through a back door

-Tif continually said A was there for the screening, but never confirmed she saw her. So no idea if this is true or just assumed cause she was at the after party

-After the screening they were back out on the red carpet and a lot of crew/minor cast were all out there too. They saw and interacted with Jack Murphy. They asked about the open mouthed BTS video and he responded both with he couldn't say anything and he didn't remember that. Tif dm-ed him a pic and they had an exchange back and forth (need her to make friends with him and get the tea for all our sake)

-They got to the afterparty location right after Nic had left and we got clarification from Maria about the man who told them. He was an autograph collector (this people are intense). Maria thought he said Nic was hungry and Tif thought he said angry. They said the guy said it in a rude way. Also, Maria said Tif is more reliable since she thought A was wearing a pink dress lol (If he was a pro autograph collector and didn't get a signature from Nic cause she knew he wasn't a fan, I could believe him being bitter).

-Almost the entire cast came out while they were there with the exception of Nic and Claudia. Not a single one was papped.

-Almost all the cast ignored them or just waved from afar when they left. The only people who approached them were Jess Brownell and Luke Newton

-The order they came out in was Luke, Lauren and then A. They also had 6ish giant security guards with them.

-Luke did not interact with A ever that they saw

-He was super kind and generous with his time and conversation

-Paps came out of nowhere and they didn't realize they were there until the flashes started going off. They said it was super disorienting and loud.

-They also think it was suspect how calm A was for the pics. If she wasn't expecting it, they would think she'd appear a little more discomposed by the experience.

-Paps were gone right after they left. Luke T came out after and no paps were around

-They both agree paps were tipped off, but disagree a bit by who. Tif is convinced it wasn't Luke or A. Maria thinks it could've been A/As people, but it at least had to be someone inside the party. L's sister was floated as a possibility

-Speaking of the sister, it was brought up that there are some bad vibes there. Nothing that can be proven with evidence, but just a bad feeling

Ok, I'm going to send in a part 2 cause this is ridiculously long already

Wouldn’t you know the only time I was able to catch anything from the live was her starting to defend herself from some shit she saw here lol

God bless her 🥃

Thanks for your dedication anon 💜

[nostalgicmiscellaneous]

Season 3 - Colin & Penelope's Triumph

Stop listening to loud people in bubbles who want to bring down your enthusiasm and crumple your joy with how much we have to enjoy Penelope and Colin's season. There are some people with a clear agenda of hatred because of their own couples that will straight up lie, cherry pick and manipulate to try to get people turned off or to feel insecure about saying they love what they love. Sometimes, people with a weaker personality and herd mentality fall for that and start thinking oh, maybe it's not good or i shouldn't like. Some nonsenses that we read sometimes and some fall for it: Nonsense: "Polin is not popular, the show would be doomed by them. People wont watch" Reality:

Nonsense: "Polin is being dragged by negative reviews by public and fans who doesn't see chemistry" ( lol, i can't even with that one...) Reality:

At this moment, very near season 1 in critics ( 87%) and above in audience score and higher than season 2 in both aspects. Does it make anyone like or dislike more? because it sure wouldn't make me like more or less something. Nonsense: Only negative things go viral. Reality:

That tweet is from 13 hours ago. You read that right. 13 hours ago and look at views, look at 139K ( HOLY SHIT) that have liked and an insane 65K have already bookmarked. That's viral in a insane level by people loving their chemistry and them together. If anything they have too much chemistry. lol Artists, famous figures and all saying they watched and loved also on SNSs. The general audience loving it. We, from inside the fandom, might have our issues, things we wanted more or less, but it's glorious what we have and how much Nicola Coughlan & Luke Newton gave and are giving us. The hatred is being silenced by the simple truth and the enjoyment people are having. They tried to hate on their popularity, it didn't work. They tried with their chemistry, it didn't work. They tried telling us it was fast or forced even with all we have already got of their relationship ( a couple that actually has been developing from season 1 and that already had a bond and has a different personality and path from other couples) and with 4 episodes left. They tried with their acting. Were proved wrong and more and more people are realizing the characters paths and the acting choices and praising. They tried with their looks. Made them look bad instead. So they tried with lies and look what they got back on their faces...a glorious triumph. So, have a great time. Be a fan and just be happy, enjoy without worrying, without comparisons. Some people are so bitter that they just don't want to like anything. It's their loss.

[effieandtim]

The shipping real life people thing is something that is becoming more and more prevalent in every fandom recently, it's just so weird. People aren't content in shipping the characters anymore, they have to have some fantasy that the actors are together in real life as well. This happened this past year with Queen Charlotte, Little Mermaid, Hunger Games (Rachel Zegler and Tom Blyth), it happened last year with Jonny and Simone with a lot of people saying he must be bi because of their chemistry, and it's happening again with Matt and Jonny.

The other day I even saw a tiktok where someone was telling people not to harass Luke Newton's girlfriend because I think a friend of his posted some pics of them kissing at a New year's party, and in the comments there were some people saying they were disappointed in him because it's disrespectful to Nicola to "flaunt" his relationship a few months before promo starts and that he should keep it discreet, which is completely baffling to me, how is it disrespectful to her that he is in a relationship? They don't need to sell a fantasy that they're together to promote Bridgerton, they're gonna talk about their characters.

People need to learn boundaries and separate the real from the fictional. Is it super common for people to get together or have affairs after playing love interests on a film or tv show? Yes, these people are getting up close and personal with each other for multiple hours a day for months on end, a lot of times away from their family and friends, it's inevitable that in some cases something is gonna happen, but it's also their jobs, and it's clearly not the case every time, and the speculation always ends up a little disrespectful to the people involved and their real life partners, and can end up ruining friendships between these people because they don't feel comfortable interacting with each other because they know it will be hyper analyzed.

yeah like there’s absolutely no need to speculate even in the rare case that something does happen

these people are actors and if they are able to create good chemistry with someone its bc they are GOOD actors

and instead of appreciating their craft people disrespect them by saying the shipper shit

like i have even seen a few fans enabling this behaviour? saying jonny has a crush on matt so thats a compliment for matt bc hes just oh so magnetic and charming - like nope im gonna need them to shut up and think about what they’re saying bc they’re essentially implying their fave is cheating on his husband with whom he has 3 kids

like its sick honestly and im so tired if seeing it

and the fact that some weirdos ‘threatened’ to out jonny as straight after his pics with ariana cane out????? That was so ridiculous and i cant even find it amusing bc imagine being a queer person and the world refusing to acknowledge your identity- something you’ve been so vocal about bc you went to a tennis match with your friend

this goes beyond fandoms and you are right, it’s becoming more and more prevalent in every space

[mermaidsirennikita]

What were your favorite moments in Bridgerton (not including Kate and Anthony)? And then your favorite Kate and Anthony moments?

Honestly, finding moments I would genuinely call "favorites" that didn't involve Kate and Anthony together is very hard. But in no particular order:

Eloise LIGHTING PENELOPE UP. Actually, this is definitely my favorite NON-Kate/Anthony moment. She mentioned! It! All! And how valid of her? It's honestly hysterical to me that people are still trying to say that Penelope is a good person--she can be your fave, but she is a garbage human being by any stretch of the imagination and Eloise was completely right here. Penelope's feeble attempts to fight back only made it funnier. An insipid wallflower, indeed. I also, as someone who generally finds Eloise annoying, found this very sympathetic. It just would be such a mindfuck to have your best friend, who you've been loyal to through thick and thin, drag you and your family through the mud like that. I never said Eloise is a cunt! Eloise is my friend!

Colin saying that he'd never marry Penelope, mainly because it's honestly going to be ridiculous of them to try to back out of that one, but they will. In the book, it was a flustered comment of a young guy being teased by his brothers, and he feels like shit about it immediately. In the show, he doesn't know she heard it, he acts like he would rather die than fuck her, he says "ARE YOU MAD?" and is incredibly pithy. If there was supposed to be NUANCE to that moment, I missed it. But honestly, Luke Newton is a very dull actor, so maybe there was.

Edwina gets a prince. I love Edwina. I would like to see her back next season so I can watch her supercut scenes. But if I don't, I'll assume she married the prince whether or not it's mentioned.

*not involving Kate so it counts* Anthony college admissions scandal-ing Benedict. Fucking hilarious. I too would do whatever is necessary to send Benedict off to art school so that he can realize that he's not actually good at art. Also, this played into the idea that Anthony is just paying everyone's bills and they're fucking lucky to have him (even though they're ungrateful cuntburgers, ALL OF 'EM) and that's sexy of him.

Anthony going to Benedict's art school and being like "YOU LIVE LIKE THIS" with his 5 o'clock shadow. Benedict is the only Bridgerton besides Anthony (and Penelope Evisceration Eloise) I wouldn't push off a cliff, so. I enjoyed their banter. Anthony stepping into an art school and being repulsed by everyone there is very reflective of me attending art school for literal years. I enjoy the way Luke T. and JB play off each other. You could interchange this with Benedict loudly asking Anthony if there's a reason why the wedding is being called off THAT HE CAN ONLY TELL HIM. Benedict just assumed that Kate was fully pregnant, and I think that's both hilarious and wise of him. The only one in that family who actually knows Anthony, lbr. Should've figured that he got his way into art school paid for, based both off the quality of his work and Anthony being Anthony.

(I also think it's very funny to imagine Anthony being too happy with his own personal life now that he's married and getting that good pussy from Kate on the regular to like... actually resolve things with Benedict. Like they had one fraught convo about him Olivia Jade-ing Benedict and then he was like "... anyway! Gonna go try to get Kate to marry me (again)! Love is so wild, Benedict!" Season 3 is gonna start and Benedict is gonna be like it's been a year and I'm still mad about that and Anthony's gonna be like "lmao my wife is fucking pregnant I don't have time for this I'm NESTING, BENEDICT".).

As for Kate/Anthony moments, in no particular order:

The sex scene(?). Let's call it GazeboGate + those Guilty Flashbacks. As much as I want more, it's what I got, and I do appreciate that he took care of her lol. I wish it was edited differently, but I know they shot good material and I will be leading a March On Shondaland for the tapes. We storm at dawn. (Just kidding, as I feel I must clarify in these trying times.). As I've discussed in my tags, I loved all the tongue, the handholding while he's going down on her (FOR MORAL SUPPORT), the fact that he kissed her right after going down on her (nice to know where they land on that debate). I also did love the buildup. The "Go. In. Side." warning shot was very classic historical romance. I think it's extremely hilarious that he went for her clit immediately and then was like I WILL STOP. Really dude? I think the barrier has been breached here.

The little postnuptial moment that extended into a makeout in front of his stupid family. I like to think that everyone was welcomed home for that Pall Mall game and then sent away so that they could fuck around the house. I'm so glad they went on a six month honeymoon as a reprieve from those ungrateful wretches that leech off the money he doesn't work for but nonetheless BALANCES. I loved him calling her viscountess. I love the touching. INEEDMORE.MP3.

I actually did really like the big spiel about India not being far enough away. It was very horny. I think it would be even better if they'd kissed or if he'd fingerblasted her with the door open, but aside from that I fully approved. JB can deliver a line, I gotta say. As a full trashbag, I also do love, as one Twitter user astutely pointed out, this was just him being like listen I'm gonna wanna cheat on her with you every day until I finally do it.

Apoloprosal. I'm a sucker for an apoloprosal in historical romance. Please read Sarah MacLean's Nine Rules to Break When Romancing A Rake if you want Peak Apoloprosal. Anthony showing up with tulips like "very sorry I licked you to orgasm, please accept my hand" is so funny to me. Him like, jamming the ring in her face. Her being horrified, because yeah, you would be, and she's fresh off a TBI. Also lol, him awkwardly being like "I DIDN'T PICTURE IT GOING DOWN, OR RATHER ME GOING DOWN, LIKE THAT". What did you picture??? I know he fantasized about some ridiculous canopy bed gauzy sheets situation and they both cried after and held hands and snuggled for six hours. Maybe we didn't see the wedding night because it would be too embarrassingly emotional.

The how many fingers am I holding up momentttt. So brief, but representative of the shit I wish we'd seen more of! If I'd run this season I would've actually kept a lot of Kate and Anthony's shit the same in terms of the love triangle and premarital sex, I just would've cut subplots and moved everything up 1-2 episodes so that we could have more time with them married/figuring their shit out. But this like? Fondness? And everything being laced with the charge of them knowing that they've done sexual shit to each other and nobody knows and he's trying to make her feel comfortable while also feeling like he's ruined her life and everyone is looking at them??? MY JAM.

[amidalis]

“I love robbery AND fraud!”: A Star Wars Story

My expectations were so goddamn low going into this movie. The stories coming out of it’s production was a MESS, so I expected a mess. Like I really didn’t want to walk out of a Star Wars movie for the second time within months feeling let down and angry af. But I made peace with myself over the fact that that was what I would be getting, and that I’d see it anyway because I just can’t quit Star Wars. What I was not expecting was to actually have fun...

I admit it okay, I actually enjoyed myself. This movie was nowhere near perfect, or great. Trilogy worthy? Hell tf no!!!! I give it a 6.5/10. 6.5 because I was completely SNATCHED from people taking their damn hoods off and revealing their true selves so it gets an extra .5! I liked many things, other things I didn’t. Either way you’re going to hear my thoughts in a jumbled mess!

---------------------------

______HEAVY SPOILERS under the cut!____

---------------------------

Qi’ra and Han make out within the first two minutes of this movie which is just a taste of all the other times we’ll see them...I heard some spoilers about their hinted relationship but I REALLY WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THEM TO TONGUE LIKE 7 TIMES AT LEAST?! I REALLY DID NOT CARE ABOUT THEM LMFAO. But I already want to die because I know it’s going to spawn more Rey’s parentage debate and... I’m not strong enough for it anymore at this point. I’m done. 

Han holding a rock...and making a click sound...pretending it was a fucking bomb. A procrastinator. Innovator. 

Han reminded me of the lead character of a shonen anime!? “My dream? My dream is to be a pilot! The best pilot in the galaxy! I’m going to join the Imperial navy to be a pilot! And if I work hard enough, I will get enough money TO BUY A SHIP! AND WITH THAT SHIP?!?! I WILL FREE MY FRIEND! I WILL BE THE BEST PILOT! I--!” 

Chewie’s introduction into Han’s life was Chewie whooping his ass in a pile of mud. Han suddenly knew how to speak Wookie, and then the rest is history.

That Aurra Sing name drop made me clutch my chest. 

Enfys Nest is a pirate after the same shit Han and crew are after but honestly??? When she was whooping ass on that train I knew I would stan.

JESUS CHRIST THEY DID NOT DESERVE THANDIE NEWTON. I was so upset that Val did not have a big part in this movie, and was killed early on! She is such an amazing actress, and it was really sad to see her go after we just got her! And a self-sacrifice for her death was lazy as fuck!!! THERE WAS NO NEED. I’m actually thankful they never got their hands on Sana Starros at this point because that shit so disappointing for me. 

Qi’ra being branded and owned by Dryden Vos??? I’m glad he got clapped in the end, and that she was the one that was able to do it!

LAAAAAAANNDDDDOOOOOOOOOO OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDD!

Best thing about this goddamn movie

HE WAS SMOOTH. SO FASHIONABLE. A SCAMMER. THAT’S MY MANS!

Not enough Lando. Not nearly enough. 

The sabacc scene?!?! Han and Lando together was goddamn worth it! I really wish we saw MORE OF THEM. 

BECAUSE SERIOUSLY WTF I THOUGHT THERE’D BE MORE TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP

Droid death match?

GONK DROID GONK DROID GONK DROID!!!!!!

L3 was literally the droid version of Korg from Ragnarok, but I loved her anyway.

Seeing the Falcon brand new and shiny was so cool!!!

I just want to state right here and now that I am so thankful that we got a look into Lando’s walk-in closet and 30 capes?! 

A SCENE WHICH LEADS TO QI’RA AND HAN MAKING OUT INTO A CLOTHES RACK ASJKJADSKA?! OKAY???

Beckett’s “don’t trust her. don’t trust anyone. NOT EVEN YOURSELF!!!!!” OH DAMN THAT’S A PLOT POINT WE’LL USE FOR LATER!!!

L3 launching the rebellion on Kessel gave me life. Again, it felt very Thor: Ragnarok but I still  enjoyed it.

MORE GONK DROIDS

CHEWIE HELPING THE WOOKIES ALMOST MADE ME CRY I LOVE HIM.

Lando got shot and I really screamed. It’s like I forgot about Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi existing entirely because I deadass worried about my boy. MY FEELINGS WERE HURT THAT HE WAS HURT.

Qi’ra battle cried and...BLEW EVERYTHING UP LOL. SHE REALLY SNAPPED. SHE CAME OUT THE FALCON WITH TWO BOMBS IN HER HANDS AND JUST! THREW THEM!

When it showed the giant ass star destroyer holding a blockade and sent out all those TIEs? NUT!!!!

The Kessel Run...I was expecting more I guess? I can’t put my finger on it but it wasn’t the great scene that it could have been?

WHEN THEY BARELY LANDED ON SAVAREEN AND THE FALCON LOOKED LIKE THE GIANT MESS WE ALL LOVE.

Lando: “I hate you.” 

Han, with heart eyes and a giant smirk on his face: “I know”

Me: *passed out*

LANDO JUST. UP AND LEFT WITH THE FALCON. HE REALLY LEFT THEM STRANDED AKDHKADHKJDA! He got his shit and LEFT!!!

ENFYS NEST IS HERE AND SURPRISE IT IS REVEALED THAT SHE IS A BIRACIAL TEENAGED GIRL. I HAVE NEVER STANNED SO FUCKING FAST IN MY LIFEEEEEE!!

I SERIOUSLY NEED TO SEE MORE OF HER I WAS HOOKED THE MOMENT SHE SPOKE. IF I DON’T GET A FULL NOVEL AND COMIC WITH HER BACKSTORY I’M GOING TO SCREAM.

She actually ticked off all of my Mara Jade boxes like if they ever put Mara in something, I imaged her to look JUST LIKE THAT it was wild!

Han: “What’s on Tatooine?”

Me, and opportunistic Luke stan ignoring Han’s backstory with Jabba completely: YOUR FUCKING BOY THAT’S WHAT!

Beckett REALLY TURNED OUT TO BE A LIAR AND A SCAMMER BUT AS HE SAID HE WARNED HAN. BUT HAN KNOWS!BETTER!NOW!!!!!

Qi’ra STABBING HER CAPTOR IN THE HEART. I LOVE THIS SONG.

HAN I-WON’T-HESITATE-BITCH SOLO REALLY SHOT BECKETT IN THE CHEST. LIKE IT WAS REALLY NECESSARY TO ESTABLISH THAT HE SHOT FIRST. I CACKLED OUT LOUD. 

QI’RA SKYPPEEDDDDD OH MY GOOOODDDDD

HIS ASS IS REALLY STILL ALIVE

MY GOD MAUL IS STILL.FUCKING.ALIVE.....

THE MOMENT I HEARD HIS VOICE AND ACCENT THOUGH I WAS SHOOK SO I AM A FAKE BITCH I KNOW DEEP DOWN I WAS THRILLED TO SEE HIM.

Maul: Come to Dathomir now, Qi’ra. You and I are going to be working very close together

Me, *looking into the camera like I’m in the office*: Tumblr is going to fucking ship this now, aren’t they? 

I’m glad that I at least didn’t have to sit through a Star Wars film without hearing a lightsaber ignite I would have been distraught!

HAN WINNING THE FALCON. HE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO LANDO LIKE THAT! 

All in all this movie was not great by far, but it did tick off all my Star Wars aesthetic needs boxes, and I had fun. 

[rainbow-femme]

Solo movie thoughts under the cut, with spilers

1. Q’ra should have been bad. If both of their arcs were going from minor crime to bigger crime, with Han going into smuggling and high stakes thievery while she goes into the mob, that would have made sense. In the movie it’s implied she is stuck in the game and wishes she could run away with Han but is trapped, and it would be much better if she had been using and lying to him and genuinely was bad and only doing things for power. This not only makes her more interesting, gives her more agency, but it also explains why Han goes from a man ready to settle down to a man who rejects stability and has to be persuaded back into love by Leia because his first love used him then betrayed him.

2. Why even cast Thandie Newton if you’re going to kill her off? She was easily one of the most interesting female characters, one of the most interesting characters period, and would have been a much more interesting character to follow than Beckett and we know from Westworld that she’s got the acting skills to play a criminal hardened by time. She felt completely wasted.

3. Why did we even have her/kill her if it affected nothing? Beckett mourned for all of one minute then she was barely mentioned again. They were partners in crime and in love, were going to basically get married after this last job, but after putting up the graves all he cares about is that he owes a mob boss money. No “Because you gave up stealing the stuff Val died for nothing”, just annoyance that he now owes that guy money.

4. Han didn’t have a last name? He got “assigned” Solo by the dude filling out his paperwork? Han mentions growing up at least partially with a father why would he not use that name he’s not Rey he didn’t get dropped on the planet as a four year old he remembers having a family who presumably had a family name and we see him be sentimental so why would he leave the name behind if he cared about the family he lost?

5. L-3 was amazing and died way too soon and was very under utilized.

6. The Kessel run we’ve heard about Han doing for decades was putting some special fuel in the tank to make it go faster? If that fuel exists and people can use it why is it special that he did something anyone else could do with that fuel it wasn’t skill he flew straight.

7. So the sense I’ve always gotten from the Han/Lando interactions was that they worked together on jobs and Han was the no rules sarcastic guy while Lando was more the long suffering straight man who loved Han but was also sick of his shit and wanted to be settled down while Han didn’t want to ever be tied to one place. In this movie they barely interact outside of card games, piss each other off, and we see no start to this supposed friendship just them being very antagonistic to one another after a single job where Han immediately wins the Falcon while also not really seeing Lando as any of the Lando he becomes, just a shallow pretty boy without any character change by the end of the movie.

8. “Chewbacca? I’m going to have to give you a nickname that’s too long.” Hey movie you don’t have to explain the history of giving your friend a nickname we would have figured out from context that as they became friends he gave him a nickname.

9. No real amazing fights. I hated Rogue One and Last Jedi but they both had amazing final battle scenes that were visually cool, exciting, and emotionally effective. There really wasn’t any of that in this the botched stealing at the beginning was kinda that but we didn’t really know any of them and they were just balancing on a train so it wasn’t that cool or impactful, and the final battle was just three people in a room so it wasn’t all that interesting or gripping.

10. No real quotable lines. So far every Star Wars movie, good or bad, has been very quotable but I could not think of a single stand out line walking out of this movie it was all just blah.

11. The reason this movie exists is to answer the question “How did the Han we meet in Episode Four become that way” and this movie does not answer it at all. He starts out as a naive street kid who wants to get into smuggling for one job to save someone he loves and ends with him giving up all profit for the chance to help the Rebellion. This doesn’t explain how he ends up a selfish smart mouth who only looks out for himself and Chewbacca and has no interest in helping the Rebellion. 

12. Lando is barely in it? He plays two card games, flies once, then just hangs out on the ship out of sight the rest of the movie this is supposed to set up their big bromance and he doesn’t really do much to build a relationship with Han.

13. Enjoyed the marauders being freedom fighters but it would have been more impactful to see a middle aged/older woman than a very young one. I don’t buy a girl who looks so young is able to convince the galaxy she’s the leader of the most ruthless marauders in the galaxy I would much more believe it if she was a woman in her sixties who devoted her life to this and was the true foil to Beckett’s selfish and untrusting ways.

14. The video asking people to join the fascist Empire being based off of American military recruitment videos, and the way the Empire generals talk being just like how America justifies going into areas, destabilizing them, and killing everyone was a touch I really liked. It’s not every day a movie compares the United States to the fascist evil regime of the Empire so blatantly and I thought that was a nice touch.

15. So we see Q’ra talk to Darth Maul, which means this takes place before his death and he died when Anakin was between 9 and 12. Anakin had Luke around 10-15 years later, meaning Han is about 15 years older than Darth Vader and a few decades older than Luke when he looks to be about mid 30s when we first see him and Luke looks young 20s so that would put him around the same age as Obi Wan who looked a hundred at the same time Han looked like he hadn’t broken 40 yet. (And books aren’t accepted movie canon I know he lives on in the books but that doesn’t mean he does in the movies so that doesn’t count for the timeline)

Just... Not good in so many ways.