#Had to come out of my work here just because i can see some mofos were trying to make some of you sad by their manipulative ways

[nostalgicmiscellaneous]

Season 3 - Colin & Penelope's Triumph

Stop listening to loud people in bubbles who want to bring down your enthusiasm and crumple your joy with how much we have to enjoy Penelope and Colin's season. There are some people with a clear agenda of hatred because of their own couples that will straight up lie, cherry pick and manipulate to try to get people turned off or to feel insecure about saying they love what they love. Sometimes, people with a weaker personality and herd mentality fall for that and start thinking oh, maybe it's not good or i shouldn't like. Some nonsenses that we read sometimes and some fall for it: Nonsense: "Polin is not popular, the show would be doomed by them. People wont watch" Reality:

Nonsense: "Polin is being dragged by negative reviews by public and fans who doesn't see chemistry" ( lol, i can't even with that one...) Reality:

At this moment, very near season 1 in critics ( 87%) and above in audience score and higher than season 2 in both aspects. Does it make anyone like or dislike more? because it sure wouldn't make me like more or less something. Nonsense: Only negative things go viral. Reality:

That tweet is from 13 hours ago. You read that right. 13 hours ago and look at views, look at 139K ( HOLY SHIT) that have liked and an insane 65K have already bookmarked. That's viral in a insane level by people loving their chemistry and them together. If anything they have too much chemistry. lol Artists, famous figures and all saying they watched and loved also on SNSs. The general audience loving it. We, from inside the fandom, might have our issues, things we wanted more or less, but it's glorious what we have and how much Nicola Coughlan & Luke Newton gave and are giving us. The hatred is being silenced by the simple truth and the enjoyment people are having. They tried to hate on their popularity, it didn't work. They tried with their chemistry, it didn't work. They tried telling us it was fast or forced even with all we have already got of their relationship ( a couple that actually has been developing from season 1 and that already had a bond and has a different personality and path from other couples) and with 4 episodes left. They tried with their acting. Were proved wrong and more and more people are realizing the characters paths and the acting choices and praising. They tried with their looks. Made them look bad instead. So they tried with lies and look what they got back on their faces...a glorious triumph. So, have a great time. Be a fan and just be happy, enjoy without worrying, without comparisons. Some people are so bitter that they just don't want to like anything. It's their loss.

[martialartslover7]

Unpopular opinion incoming: ...Why do NaruHina fans even like The Last?

Unironically, I really want to know why, because, I am a huge NaruHina shipper myself, and even still, this movie never fails to aggrevate me in the worst way possible, even now, not even getting angry or anything, but... I just feel empty. I feel nothing. Not even the kiss made it worth, and I am HUGE sucker for sappy romances from time to time. Hell, I am a romance author, as a hobby. But this movie, it legit felt like, I just wasted my freaking time. That's a far worse sensation than getting mad, because, I just got nothing smart to say about it.

So, let me get this straight, and I am pretty sure, I am speaking of behalf of anyone that even remotely supports these two as one: The series NEVER making Naruto acknowledge Hinata's confession, was just damned moronic, even from a writing standpoint, because, yeah, in Japanese, it can mean two different things when you say "I love you", I know that, it might just mean "I love you as a teammate", but honestly, considering that NaruHina, by this point, was always meant, even according to Kishimoto, in hindsight, not acknowledging this moment for years to come, until the movie had to speak up about it: You lost the plot. If it was always meant to happen, why did you write it in a way as if Naruto straight up ignored everything she said?

And listen, I know, Naruto is a really delayed mofo, but the movie tried to paint it as if, "Naruto is a dense idiot, who isn't in touch with his own feelings, so you have to put him in a Genjutsu to """see the depths of her feelings for him"""", but honestly, to me, this just felt like a really convenient excuse to just regress Naruto as a person, just so the ship can happen, essentially, "guilt-tripping" him into going, "Ohhh, Hinata always had feelings for me, I didn't notice, even though she risked her life". Again, again, again, none of the events would even bother me so much, if it weren't for the undeniable fact: Somehow, during Shippuden, they tried to make it seem "ambigious", by not addressing her confession, EVER. Like, almost as if, Sakura was meant to be "the final option, because of Kushina", but it was clearly bullshit, and the movie wasn't subtle on that front either. But then, WHY WASN'T IT BROUGHT UP? WHY DID NARUTO NOT SAY ANYTHING?

And before any of you stupid motherfuckers are going to accuse me of being a "closeted NaruSaku shipper", I am not. These two simply wouldn't have ever worked out in the long run, for one thing, because I am not a fan of this trope, of the girl always needing to use violence, on an already traumatized individual (not to mention, that being played for laughs, which also rubs me the wrong way, especially in regards to comic relief characters), and him just going with it, which, by the way, isn't very realistic at all, as to why Naruto never got cross with Sakura at one point or another (one can of worms, I want to talk about some other time), and secondly, c'mon now, look at these two. They are more siblings than anything. As if, two different halves and shades of Kushina live inside the two of them, individually.

Not to mention, why are you NaruHina fans so comfortable with pardoning bad writing, brushing it off as if it's "deeper than you think"? Because, I just can't see it any other way, both Naruto and Hinata were frankly OOC in this movie, considering, this is all supposed to take place after the war. I can forgive Naruto being an idiot, who is slow on the draw, but straight up going "he is just dense", is frankly retarded, considering, we are talking about the equivalent to ninja Jesus Christ with him here, who basically loves everyone like family (safe for the villains), but then comes Hinata, he confesses first, but somehow "he is dense"? Why do we even need a fucking Genjutsu for all this? Doesn't he remember a person he truly loved like her, of ALL people? So we are left with having to rely on made-up flashbacks, which never even happened in the original series (only in Shippuden, late-game), and a contrived plot device, that comes in the name of "Otsutsuki"?

On that note, I really do not like what this movie did with Hinata. Look, "Toneri was messing with her chakra", even if that were true, it doesn't change anything, because it's still an excuse to make her another damsel in distress for Naruto to save. I get it, Hinata is not like Naruto in that, she bears his battle attributes, but sheesh, man, are you really fine with regressing her back to the Genin, who can't even run down walls to save her life? This is a mess, I really cannot approve of this, Hinata is way stronger than that, and we all know it, this just isn't acceptable to me. I want my couple dynamic to be evenly distributed to feel absolutely comfortable.

And this is acceptable to you all? I call it, for what it is: Terrible writing. Stitched together with convenient excuses, just to have the ship happen somehow, in an artificial way, despite having criminal lack of shared screentime together, non-canon content excluded, by the way (I am sorry, I have to be consistent here).

With all this knowledge, the movie comes off as a truly cringeworthy attempt to try appeasing to us, who love these two together. The sappy music, the "larger-than-life" presentation, the overt reliance on spectacle, rather than substance, is just making this experience even worse for me.

Peace.

P.S.: This is just my silly, personal opinion, if you love this movie, more power to you. But to me, this is one of those pieces of media that genuinely make me feel miserable.

[kandadze]

Ep 30 loose thoughts

Whoo boy, I'm scared.

Wow, ZYC's words really hit LL *hard*. Still not sure if it's going to be enough for him to stop being a malice, quitting cold turkey rarely actually works.

ZYZ waiting for him... I immediately got distracted by the fact that there seems to be a weiqi board between them?! How about you just play a round instead of killing each other?

Yet another scene we've already seen in the MV... ZYZ gifting LL the Truth Eye. (I've watched it so many times I'm literally trying to predict the ending by piecing together the scenes we weren't shown in the eps so far 😅)

Oh dear, it's like whatever they try to say, it comes out wrong. Their worldviews are so different, they're bound to misunderstand each other no matter how much they might still love each other.

It breaks my heart that ZYZ is still hoping for a draw. This demon loves and loves and loves in spite of everything. 😭

Oh but I do kinda get how LL's tentative hope got crushed here. He so desperately wants to live and mean something to ZYZ, he will not see leaving Bai Jiu's body as an atonement - he'll see ZYZ's requesting it, without any alternative, as yet another proof that ZYZ doesn't care about what's going to happen to *him*.

Isn't ZYZ supposed to be the strongest demon or something? Don't tell me he's poisoned as well!

HUH??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LOST ALL HIS DEMONIC POWER??? How? When???

Explain yourselves ffs!

Oh no PSJ just watched her brother die in front of her for the third time... 😭

Oof the whole sequence hurt like a bitch, Lin Ziye hit it out of the ballpark with his acting yet again, and I very much love how this was a team effort instead of the two great demons showdown... But ngl I feel like Bai Yan was completely useless. You're a fucking tree spirit as old as the gods! Why aren't you helping???

*Now* you're whipping out the goddamn root??? I think you could've presented it as an option for him *while* asking him to vacate Bai Jiu's body, he *was* open to suggestions! (I love the dramatic fight scenes as much as the next guy, but now in the light of this new info it seems to me that *this* particular fight - AND THE RESULTING DEATHS - was potentially completely unnecessary??? Once this is all over can you please take some time to work on your communication skills, people!) But also fuck this guy, he'd said he was not going to hurt Ying Lei! Dishonor on him and his goddamn cows!

ZYZ, you big ol' softie!!! (But also, this changes my understanding of the scene at the creation stone somewhat... let's see if they expand on this in any way.)

NO, YING LEIIIIII!!!! 😭 I *wish* ZYC had healing powers omg this was so rude!!! (Also not his last words being his encouragement to Bai Jiu!!! Who's not even conscious at this point!!! 😭😭😭)

"This time we draw." You mofos!!!

This still doesn't explain anything about *why* all his demonic power is gone. Did he use it all up to restore the sword? Is it because he was the only source of power that the creation stone could draw from this time, as opposed to when he rebuilt the tower - with LL?

They're back to breaking my heart with their bond and the - rather one-sided at this point - bickering. Scold him, ZYC, you'll both feel better!

Bai Jiu, this poor kid, I can't even begin to imagine what he's going through right now. Even with ZYC there, the weight on him must be enormous. (I hope someone goes to PSJ as well...) Aaaand they made me cry again. Ying Lei understood humans so well! Food can totally be a love language. And he used his powers to make sure the easily perishable snack he made for Bai Jiu wouldn't spoil!!! 😭😭😭

I'm glad they showed us WX doing her best to comfort PSJ. I love that they showed us that PSJ does have the very human wish to be special in some way, to feel needed and accepted, and how having that can translate into strength to protect and make sacrifices in return. I hope she goes back to kicking ass real soon.

After "this"??? Whatever the heck do you mean, ZYC? Are you planning on offing yourself to heal WX? (I know that ZYZ would have totally done it already, save for the tiny issue of having no demonic power at the moment...) Yeah, this totally sounds as if he was saying his goodbyes ffs

ZYZ is a vision in this white outfit and with the light pouring onto him from above. Also, ZYC reaching out to him like *that* yet again. It was almost enough to distract me from the fact that they seem to be withholding info about the poison from each other, without realizing that they both already know. What are you two planning, you self-sacrificial idiots???

Whew okay, this was a ride and a half. Onto ep 31 since apparently I have access to it, and I'd rather break my heart in one go instead of prolonging the agony. This way I can bawl my eyes out for the rest of the weekend and still appear functional at work on Monday.

[bengiyo]

Dangerous Romance Ep 11 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we watched Kanghan’s dad death flag like a mofo when he went to his son’s game and asked Sailom to do some more emotional work with his son on his behalf. Later, he got shot in his house and almost bled out. Saifah took the blame for it, though it’s probably Name, who is getting punked by his boss. Kanghan broke up with Sailom because of it, and Sailom is refusing help from literally everyone to get his brother out (which makes no sense because he’s fucking broke and should know better). Sailom got roofied by the old guy from before and had to be saved by Kanghan. Guy and Nawa made progress, but that felt tonally off from everything else going on.

Now why the fuck does Sailom think he has to quit school? I’m so sick of this. Where is episode 1 and 2 Sailom?

Oh my fucking goodness he’s fucking quitting school because his scholarship comes from Kanghan’s dad. FFS.

I hate this so much. Why did we waste so much talent on this mess?

Saifah you told this man literally nothing useful. What the fuck did you expect him to do?

Name is definitely lying.

Now they are literally shooting at Sailom. WTF???

Now, Kanghan, if you cared about this boy why would you let him leave the school?

Why is so much effort being expending on killing Sailom that they needed to add in a useless interaction with the police?

“I thought I had no one left?” Sailom, please be fucking serious. Literally the entire supporting cast has been begging you to let them help you. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are we flashing back to Kanghan caring for him and not all the other times everyone else had his back? This is insulting the audience’s intelligence.

Oh lord we’re still trying to keep Name in play.

Hide? Where could he possibly hide in this room with glass wall bathrooms?

Where is Airmid to chide Nawa for punching a severely injured patient?

What in the New Siwaj is this flashing back to shit we didn’t see to justify character actions for the last 11 episodes?

There’s been quite a few instances this year of people pulling guns when they’ve been so resistant to shooting anyone and it’s just completely lacking in drama.

Now Sailom can fight? Didn’t he get his natural ass whooped like two episodes ago?

Wait, did Kanghan just not get shot at point blank range here, but Name shot ole boy past the two of them spinning around? What the fuck even is this show?

Preview: just fluff.

I’m so sick of Sailom. He is just not smart at all. What a waste of time this show has been for me. I’ll be so relieved when this is over. I think it’s time we as a fandom reckon with the fact that Saint hard-carried Perth through Love By Chance and admit he just isn’t that good. He was weak in Double Savage, Never Let Me Go, and now this. He’s pretty, but goddamn am I unimpressed.

[firecrackerhh]

If you…seriously believe that’s how Huskerdust is going to play out just cuz you don’t like Stolitz or whatever (even tho both situations are completely fucking different anyway) then I think you’re very fucking stupid.

When the fuck has the show EVER considered Angel to be a “stupid whore” in a degrading sense exactly in the first place??? Yeah Angel does say that in Loser, baby, but he EMBRACES that label. Which is far different from if the narrative itself was judging him for his behavior. 

If anything, HEAVEN would believe that, not Angel. In season 1 anyway…tho I have a feeling Heaven may start thinking differently since Sir Pen got redeemed.

The fact you would think Viv ever had the intention of writing Angel’s story like that makes me think you probably don’t think very fucking deeply much at all about Viv’s actual intentions when writing a story and you just prefer to come up with the most cliched judgmental bullshit cus that’s all you can come up with seeing what we have so far.

I’m sorry your imagination is so terribly limited my dude, but that’s definitely not Viv’s or anyone else’s problem.

The fact you would actually believe Viv would write that kind of story, Christ you fucks really love seeing the fucking worst in people huh? Why tf do you just ASSUME that is what her stories are gonna be about? No legit, someone fucking tell me, I don’t understaaaaaaaaaand!!!!!

If you look at Angel as a stupid whore for…some ungodly reason, and you blame the narrative when said narrative has done nothing to make the actual audience assume such, them I’m going to assume that maybe you are actually a shit writer and you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.

“Duuuuuh Viv writing bad!” Meanwhile Dumbfuck McGee over here literally has the worst interpretation of her works possible, clearly because this mofo probably doesn’t think about goddamn anything beyond the “problematic” elements “the show won’t acknowledge” (like sure that’s reasonable to assume) and because those issues don’t get addressed immediately in the narrative that must mean Viv didn’t think it through fully cus that’s totally what all you fucking shit-for-brains believe because if shit doesn’t go fast enough for you in the narrative your fucking brain will implode or something.

Have y’all considered you just have like, media ADHD? Like, do y’all need a fucking Adderall prescription?

I think Viv writes her damn stories just fucking fine, I’m convinced the only people who do have an issue with her writing on some moral level or whatever have the reading comprehension of a rotting corpse.

Tis tragic, a moment in silence for those who never fucking passed English class.

Like Christ, my English grades sucked, but that’s cuz I suck at writing formal essays, not because I had the reading comprehension of a jelly bean.

If anyone is a fucking loser here, it’s this motherfucker. But they probably think Loser baby is meant to be insulting anyway, so hey, whatever.

Perhaps the point of Hazbin fucking Hotel in general is that the characters will learn to grow and accept themselves as they are, flaws and all, and that they don’t really need heavens shit to begin with, (tho if heaven changes as well, then it’ll be an option for the characters if they so wish, the hotel is for those who choose to be better after all, they should choose where they go.)

But seriously the way some people look at Stolitz is actually deranged, I worry for you people.

Like dude come the fuck on, sex trafficking? Is that what you think the relationship is? Like…no???

It began as a transactional relationship sure, but sex trafficking??? Do you…do you not know what the fuck sex trafficking is!? What calling the Stolitz relationship that fucking implies???

It’s not like Blitz has a fucking pimp, it’s not like Stolas is his pimp, any relationship Blitz has had has some kind of consent on his part, calm the fuck down, legit what the fuck is wrong with you?

Like…I get it, there’s definitely that coercive element there, but yknow what, he doesn’t even need the fucking book anymore, since Stolas gave him that Asmodean Crystal, which Stolas gave him because he wanted Blitz to choose to be with him without any coercive element…

Christ, if you’re gonna miss every hint of evidence that Stolas legit cares for him, including the latest episode, and you’re this fucking dense about it, I question why tf you’re watching HB at this point, Hazbin too, cuz it’s beyond evident you don’t actually know how to analyze media.

“I don’t wanna tag this crit tho cuz of antis” well you sure sound just as fucking retarded as any of them, Jesus Christ…

[orenjibot]

This is just me airing out a bit of my grievances right now so I’ll put it under a read more. It WILL be long but i will try to keep it short or make a tl;dr at the end of it. Idk honestly.

I WILL NOT delete this AT ALL because i swear I’m not bound by any legal NDA or anything and i’m not even trying to start shit with people. I’m just PISSED OFF and need to share it once and for all.

Edit: I added a tl;dr if you guys don’t want to read my thoughts.

So okay. I had a rant about trying hard to be in a community of any kind in a post I reblogged. I will spare the details of not having the right tools to COPE with my adhd since it made me socially awkward and basically come off as a weirdo and stuff. I have improved lots since but like you know lmaooo

You see. Here’s this thing about my thoughts of my time as a mod on the compass en (fan) discord. I was a mod for this community for years, only because we were severely UNDERSTAFFED for years to the point where I was essentially the ONLY person doing any mod work what so ever. This isn’t to blame other people or mods though. It’s a fan group anyways, people have obligations, people change interests, people hate what the group has become and ETC. I was never mad in these situations.

The issues I’ve had with being a mod was essentially just not knowing what to do and what was okay. Like there was one person who would constantly just act horny 25/7 and it seemed like??? Everyone was okay with that??? Like??? There were minors??? In the server????????? And also those jokes made me uncomfy like it’s a public server not a friend group.

I didn’t want to do too much where it comes off as being on a powertrip or SILENCING people based on a simple dislike/disagreement. The laid back moderation wasn’t a bad thing and not that many people were horrible people (and most of them were good people who stop when told). Essentially, it made it so that a lot of members in the server when confronted with directly would basically NEVER take any mod seriously. On multiple occasions, it pissed me off on a personal level.

But what can I even do? I’m only one person and the server owner was busy most of the time and can’t afford to put any time into dealing with the server anymore. It was truly a time where I was just off on my own and idk what to do.

Anyways, I’ll be skipping ahead of the timeline and to the one time we had to demote a mod entirely for improper mod behavior.

So this guy… I’ll call this guy Allen to avoid dropping names— so Allen here was allegedly DATING a minor. Yeah. So as the “head mod” I did grapple with whether or not I should bring it up with the rest of the other mods and even the server owner. I kept hearing more and more shit from him which was FURTHER backed up by the fact that I was actually griping about it for a long time until the guy finally got his fucking shit together one time after I left cause the bozo basically did nothing anyways.

It made me absolutely livid how this guy saw being a mod as some sort of status for clout. Like this guy flat out was making fun of being a mod for the server and basically just went “I dont have to do anything cause everyone’s asleep when I’m awake and awake when im asleep! So easyyyy lmaoooo”

There is NO actual proof about this, but this was backed up by the fact that he did absolutely nothing and continued to shove everything for me to do. So like, the dude was basically a lazy ass mofo.

I didn’t even know anything about the guy dating a minor until someone told me about it and sent us proof of it. A lot of us were of the mindset that “it didn’t rly matter to us what they did as long as it was sfw so we don’t have to take immediate action” but… we saw both of them chat in the cps server and for sure they were sending nsfw shit to each other based on what they’re saying about hcs (like it had waaay too much sexual energy in there to say they didnt talk about nsfw privately amongst themselves).

I really got bit pissed off at all of this so I took it up to everyone immediately. Like first of all, the server also has minors so it was really a huge red flag for us to keep the guy around as a mod.

This happened when Allen was trying to host his very own tournament (last year around this time), but failed cause he decided to put it off to oblivion and even rushed me to do everything. I volunteered to help but only to stream it and nothing else. When i brought it up to him that I can take over and do everything so he didn’t have to, he declined. Like this guy did nothing at all and expected ME to do it all for him when i made it clear from the get go that I wasn’t going to do that. The dude was clearly irresponsible. Even more so than me and he also has adhd like me. Like dude is just a bitch.

It made the poor guy PARANOID. Like he immediately stopped talking in the server after he was demoted and basically stopped working on the tournament all together. I didn’t want anything to do with him after all of this and the fact that he was unapologetic about dating a minor as long as there’s love. Like no. Bro. Wtf. (I heard this second hand so take that with a grain of salt)

Now here’s the kicker. Out of personal spite, and to not leave my work unused, I decided to host my own tournament after some time has passed. It was a challenge that I enjoyed, but I’m not cut out for stuff like this so I wasn’t going to do it anymore than one time.

But guess what? Allen joined the tournament with his team. And this was the team that gave me SHIT when we (me and my two helpers) had to give them a DQ for basically doing everything wrong. I wasn’t even surprised that something was going to come up with this group. It only sucked because they sure wrapped up a now former friend of mine into their whole schtick and basically started to hate me for something they clearly didn’t do right.

Not only did they think we were powertripping, they deadass thought we did it out of spite for them. Like no. We didn’t even do that. Like it’s a casual tournament but we had rules to abide by and it would be unfair to let them play when everyone else followed directions, read the rules, and was doing as told. That team did NONE of that and said that we, the staff, did it out of favoritism.

Like c’mon that was the SILLIEST reason I have ever heard. Imagine it being favoritism because EVERYONE ELSE FOLLOWED DIRECTIONS.

Granted, I can agree that my attitude wasn’t the best because I was tired and also FED UP with the fact that they didn’t even listen to what I was saying as the organizer. They flat out ignored all I was saying and decided on their own that I was okay with everything. Like no I’m not trying to make a callout post on them so I won’t post any proof of this, but ask anyone who was the staff with me during the tournament and they can give proof.

I will also say that my instructions wasn’t clear half of the time so I can understand that they might’ve been confused aside from not reading it. I will say that I didn’t make it extra clear at all about the timeframe. I had a lot going on the latter half of November and most of December so I know that that was on me. But they deliberately threw everything onto my shoulders and expect me to organize their team for them which is stupid to begin with.

The biggest reason why this did happen was because my former friend didn’t respond to a question I had asked ahead of time about their schedule. I had asked for them to tell me if their schedule in JST, so japan time. She only gave me a weekend schedule and nothing else so I assumed she answered in jst. And this point when I asked again to confirm if this time was okay, her two teammates responded in her stead by saying “yeah it seems like she’s free at this time”, which also meant that we all read her reply the same exact way.

She came out to tell me when I was asleep, that she couldn’t make it and didn’t even TRY to talk it out with my other staff and I only woke about a couple hours before their scheduled time cause I sleep funky hours. Like they expect me to get everything sorted out in 2 hours??? Like??? That’s not enough time??? And we couldnt find anything that worked with the staff and their opposing team, so they HAVE to play at their scheduled time.

Then they said they’ll find a sub, which technically isn’t allowed without prior discussion. They clearly didn’t read the substitution INSTRUCTIONS either. I still had every right to decline them of a sub since they didn’t ask for permission for one and assumed that it was okay.

But like whatever man, I didn’t care by the time we discussed this far. They then basically just…. Didn’t even tell us anything afterwards for an hour and 20 minutes. Like an hour before their match started and 10-15 mins after where they had a short waiting period before we hand them a DQ. We had strict attendance rules and it was their responsibility to let us know they found a sub before their match started… And not AFTER we handed them a DQ.

They tried to argue with us that we have to let them play and that they couldn’t “understand” why they can’t. Like it wasn’t that hard to understand that we couldn’t do that because it was unfair to everyone else who was following the rules. I couldn’t reschedule it to a different time due to everyone’s busy schedules and it would require having to do everything over again. Like granted, it was my first time doing this and I was very stubborn on not asking for too much help because I didn’t want to rely too much on people. It just came at a bad time when everyone was busy too. So I admit to just being an inexperienced first time tournament organizer and knowing that a part of this is also my fault, but not entirely.

Like, again, this really wasn’t done out of personal malice or anything of the sort. But this team also went out of their way to cause problems for everyone involved and basically quit last minute when it was time for their other match (after they got DQ’d for their match in the semis), which pissed the other team off. They led everyone to believe that the staff did something wrong, when really it was their incompetence and miscommunication that led to everything happening. I offered my side of the reasoning for what we did to my former friend who was the only one who tried to at least talk to me, but instead kind of gave me an attitude like I owed her something.

I actually thought she was blaming herself for what happened and I said stuff that said I was sorry and she didn’t deserve that, only to find out that… they thought it was…….. favoritism?? And I was just… “????? Huh????” So like… I don’t know what I can even say when they believed something so comedically foolish. They’ve been watching way too many dramas man like if I wanted to be spiteful, I wouldn’t do something that heinous. I also make it clear when I dislike people so if anything, I would’ve just trashed their application from the get go to be petty. I don’t have the energy to plan it out like that or even be that petty as to not let them play. If that was a concern to begin with, they could’ve just not joined at all. I did so much to work with their schedules and yet they conveniently threw it out the window in favor of a fictional revenge plot they made up. Disrespectful.

I still never gotten an apology or even an admittance that they misunderstood what was going on. I can only apologize for things I have done, which was just sounding crabby and being unclear about stuff. But favoritism was not something I or anyone did. This still hurts me right now. Even if they don’t want to apologize to me, apologize to everyone else.

The only saving grace was that when all of this was happening, all the participants didn’t ask or question us directly too much on what was going on. It, at least, showed to us that they were confused and/or also knew that we (the staff) wouldn’t do something this egregious. Still, it hurt that everyone didn’t even try to defend me and was perhaps skeptical, like maybe I am this irresponsible (I’m not).

However, there is more to my grievances about this.

Aside from feeling like no one respected me at all, even when I’m the one with the MOST POWER in the conersation, someone told me how everyone (in their server) wanted them to host the tournament. Like, it was very hurtful to hear that everyone else wanted this person to do the job. That everyone wanted them to do everything. It really pissed me off. Being a mod IS a damn thankless job, but I have never felt so hurt and betrayed. I was doing so much for everyone and was trying to make things more fun for people, but nah. They really wanted this cool person that everyone loved and babied, and not some boring old guy like me. Well, I’m sorry I made everyone’s times there boring and bland as fuck. I hope you guys are having more fun now that I’m not there ruining it for you all.

No one even tried to actually defend me when all of this WAS happening. Like? They really left me for dead. Not a single person wanted to believe me or support me until I said all that I could share about it in DMs. Then they all realized that the Allen’s team were being petty about it.

I’m ridiculously tired because this wasn’t EVEN drama to begin with. It was just Allen’s team being vengeful (mostly just Allen and his bestie who was in the team). I was just being dragged down simply because they couldn’t take an L.

Had Allen’s team came up with a better rebuttal, I would’ve let them play. Had they said they got a sub before we gave them a DQ, I would’ve let them play. They did not even try to have a discussion with us and tried to be petty because they thought we were being petty. Like please we don’t got time for your kiddy fights, man. I hope you’re all happy that I suffered for whatever the fuck y’all did.

It was just so damn weird how they correlated this as a “power trip” when…….. it really wasn’t that and everyone could probably read the chat log and will still say that it seemed like miscommunication. Like literally no one got in trouble for anything because it was just… wasn’t even the problem they made it out to be. This was something they could’ve tried to talk it out reasonably with us but they chose NOT to. That is ON THEM entirely.

Given how I was also repeatedly just being disregarded even AS a mod, I was completely fed up with it all. When there were issues, no one brought it up to the mods directly??? And told the server owner instead??? LIKE??? He never even told me that’s how everyone actually felt, i only knew because when I used to be in Ann’s server, they all told me what they felt about the changing times of the server (which can’t be helped in most cases) AND the fact that I can tell that’s how people felt based on the vibes.

Was I really THAT untrustworthy as a person and a mod?? Was I really that incompetent to everyone???

I always felt like I was some half rate guy that no one liked. I tried because I knew that without someone there to manage it, it would’ve been so much worse. But it seemed like to me that everyone thought I was useless and a waste of space. They rather have that popular someone everyone loved to do my job for them. It would be so much better and much more fun, right? I agree.

I didn’t become a mod because I wanted clout. I wanted to help. I did it out of the pure love and appreciation of finding this community at one of the worst times of my life. And I still do want to help, but after all of this? Good luck on that. You all have to beg for me to come back to help. None of you guys deserve me at all.

Anyways, yeah, this is the extent to my side of the story WITH my personal thoughts and opinions on it. I don’t have the energy to make a tl;dr right now after saying all of this. So i’ll make an edit for it later.

This is why I personally left the server and cut off most of the people who I met there if they didn’t try to contact me again or get back in touch with me… And assuming I didn’t contact them first.

There’s just too much bad feelings in it for me to want to stay around. The thing with Ann and some couple others before her and this whole thing, all were as a result of being in this community, made me realize that they don’t want me around anymore. I figured it was time to me to step down or take more of a backseat, but now? Early retirement. Fuck this shit man.

Tl;dr: This is a rant of one of my MANY grievances about being a mod in the compass server. I am not blaming anyone for any of this as I understand that this was just the result of the circumstances that happened with everyone at the time.

The key points being:

Understaffed mod team and a busy server owner, which led me to struggle with modding as I wasn’t sure what was okay and what wasn’t, and overall a lot of work on me being the only person modding a whole server of people. I didn’t mention it before but it stressed me out constantly for years.

Having to demote a mod for misconduct. His list of crimes goes from bad work ethics, bad display of behavior on multiple occasions as a mod, irresponsible with organization (tried to host his own tournament but failed and had me doing most of the heavy lifting before it was ultimately “canceled”), and the worst of all: dating a minor (5 years younger than he was). This point later comes back as this former mod (whom I called Allen for the sake of using a name, it isn’t his name/online handle) joined my tournament with his team.

The team being the one that caused me a lot of trouble because they firmly believed that we were abusing our power and said we deliberately sabotaged them on purpose. None of which was true and I’m sure a lot of people have noticed this, but I refrained from dropping too much details as I’m not here to start shit or make it a callout post. Talk to the two helpers and they can probably explain it better. I listed various reasons for this happening and debunking some potential misunderstandings. The issue was largely miscommunication and I am aware of the issues it caused.

Most of this from that point onward was just my personal thoughts about feeling unappreciated, even under-appreciated, for all the stuff I have done. This extends from members not respecting what I had to say to feeling as if people didn’t want to listen to me or want me around because they thought I was useless, irresponsible, incompetent, and boring. “Clearly”, they don’t want someone like me as a mod so I left as a result of that. There is a lot more it but this is but a summary, so read it all if you want more details.

Overall, I’ve been disrespected and disregarded heavily before, but it felt somewhat clear to me that the community had a bias and very much wanted me to leave despite all that I was doing to make the server a better place to be in. I left after determining that they do not deserve me and if they want me back, they are all going to have to BEG for me to come back.

[arttrampbelle]

You know what if you like the new fire god liu kang. Just block me. Because i absolutely hate what they are doing to him. Just straight up block me.

Like liu kang what did they do to you fr?!

Like why?

And the fact we got the best iteration of shang tsung in mk11. Only to have him treated like dogshit here in the new game says to me that nrs is not only fake af and used tagawa for profit.

Its disrespectful to him as an actor. Its disrespectful the the character.

And its fucking insulting.

I smell some dirty bullshit with nrs fr.

Like it feels so damn fake and condescending of nrs to do that.

Yeah brings back shao n wants to "turn him good" oh but we cant do the same for shang. When shao is worse than shang. And way to go nrs for being racist to asian men unless they are pretty,have the "correct personality traits" or are money making cash grab bullshit to dance n sing for you. (Same for other poc characters but yeah its getting worse for asian men and asian and indigenous Pacific peoples and cultures. But thats for another post. Unfortunately people still stay being racist to black characters but what else is fucking new?! Ugh. I hate these fans and nrs for that and people being absolutely stupid af to that but you know they only care about aesthetics and consuming product. But thats besides the point. ) like im just sick of it.

Yeah liu bring back and keep shao kahn the mofo that legitimately kills everyone in armageddon,committing genocide on tge supposed woman you loves people. Oh wait you dont actually love her now?! You think you're too important now for love?! Oh well shit. Shows who you really are. Guess you dont really care so as long as you get to have your cake and eat it too. Mr chosen,perfect,goody good shit.

Are nrs trying to actively sabotage its own franchise? Its own characters?! Im seriously doubting that its genuine they wanna make this game. Because im serious,liu kang doesn't feel like liu kang. AT ALL! like wtaf. It feels so hammy,so fucking black n white American comicbook,mcu marvel brainrot type of writing. It makes me wanna puke.

Considering how things played out in 11. And how well the did shang. How decent some characters were(not the best but better than past things in a long time.) We got something that hinted at actual threats,consequences. But then....nothing. all thats taken back because plot armor. Or enough fanboys whined. Like fr.

Now it feels like a huge downgrade. Like so much. And thats not saying a lot since 11 had huge plotholes and bad shit in it too.

But god damn.

Liu kang sounds like such an asshole and nobody's calling him out?!

Like wow.

Oh but shang is the biggest problem for you? No mofo. He's trying to knock some sense into you. Because you think you're infallible. But like all "gods" you can die too. And i hope you do. Painfully. Slowly. Excruciatingly.

If not by shang tsung than i hope dark raiden comes back to fucking whoop that smarmy fucking face clean off!

The only liu kang i love is mk shaolin monks liu and 95 movie liu kang. Thats it. Thats the only valid ones. Other than that. Liu can suck my metaphorical ballsack!

Fire god my asscrack. More like douchebag of the century.

He's worse than shao kahn. Makes him seem humble.

Unless liu is evil. Until that is announced. Liu kang can kiss my ass n die. Fr.

Unless its mk:sm or 95 movie liu. They can stay like i said. But fire god liu? Nah go die chosen boob. You reek of fanboys wank stains.

Im not just saying this because i like shang. Im pissed how ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE BEING TREATED LIKE LITTLE PAWNS TO GOD LIU KANG NOW! Like wtf. How is he good?! How is he still loved?! Again unless this is a villain arch... i dont see how this will actually work well. Its already shit but how are you still making it worse?! I dont get it.

Like it's a travesty that shang feels like a threat but also slightly sympathetic in mk11. But here,now. Its a fucking mockery. And liu isn't being called out for his hypocrisy. Hives shao kahn forgiveness. But not shang. Thats should be your first clue.

Im thinking fire god liu kang has to be a vassel for onaga. Why else would shao kahn live? But shang knows the truth thats why he wants to get rid of him? Because shang is the only one other than raiden who can fucking stop fire god liu cuck i mean kang. From fucking over everything.

That is the only way this will be slightly redeemed. But barely. Still not enough to forgive nrs and their sins.

Fans can hate. Me idgaf. Ive been a mk fan for many many many fucking years. Longer than most of this hellsite. So yeah. I was willing to try to give them a chance. But no. If thats how they play. And its not a villain arch for liu.

Then its official.... YOU SUCK NRS!

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Ultimately, "it's all me. (Not to be confused with "it's all about me." Lol no lol). Your "It's" are all you just the same as mine are all me.       4-22-23

 "Once you open your eyes to the pattern . . .

Remember you're the one who wrote the list of priorities. You certainly have the power to implement them" - Dr. Richard Carlson

 *Side note

The pic attached is a note, in its raw original state. It's to show that sometimes my feelers are too much for the minute that I'm writing it, so I'm trying to be sure to not forget every part of it.

For the ones I might edit later, like this one. Lol

**Another important Side note

Dollar bucks are a thing from Bluey. If you haven't already seen at least one or two of their episodes, you should. If you have any kind of human intellect and emotional range whatsoever, you'll enjoy it. . .with or without kids. Promise.

I messed up.

Explain

(So. . .what had happened was, I left part of the material off a pretty large job. Therefore the estimate, which was already squeezed pretty tight, was off. We, of course, won the bid, and I ended up finding my error.)

1500 dollar bucks worth of messed up.

In our infancy.

(It’s not a mistake I make regularly. Its actually quite rare, but. . .whatever. It’s uncomfortable to say the least. Its not a company killing mistake, but only because we generated enough revenue between several jobs to cover the difference in cost. It will come out in the end, of course which hinders the profit side, but $1500 on $17,500 can be . . . worked around and wrote off in different places. Thanks to and for, my salesmen/business colleagues/friends/brothers for landing 2 pretty sizeable jobs.

I was actually told I am allowed some grace. . .

I do put my everything into this company. Playing every position or helping is something of a hobby of mine, that’s kills endurance with office work. lol

(Here's where you guys who read these entries throw a life preserver (or a word of encouragement or two). C'mon guys, I need to know you can help me. Lol no lol

I always talk about wanting to hire a "me" to work with me. You know someone who will work hard, with the same work ethic, knowledge, etc etc.

But I don't know if I could do that.  You know, like really work for me. I might be an asshole to work for.

I mean, trying to live up to my expectations is a lot for anyone, including me. I set the bar pretty high.

I mean, I'm pretty sure my kid thinks so, so . . . Lol no lol

Struggling with deciding whether to plan to work through weekends to cover up coming bad weather days or to do family related thing.

I'm back n forth in my head constantly. My heart seems to be leaning one way, obviously, whether it's gonna cost me in the long run or not. Lol

I also tell myself that as long as I don't make a habit or doing this or that, then it's not letting the one side over shadow the other.

I can write my story however I want. There is no destiny or karma at work here.

As I write, I know I'm going to choose family, then rush to fill in work stuff(s), so I don't know what I'm on about.

I imagine a lot of copying and pasting is in my future. As I'm not going to have a ton of time to edit this before I post.

Story time will probably be a straight punch through as well, but as long as I'm still doing both . . . there’s no failing them, or me.

And its 4-20-23 (Happy High Day mofos), a Thursday, we just went and picked up my oldest son, (I don't know) and we got to see the girls for a minute.

Bonus.

If I hadn't already decided about taking Saturday off to see them, it's definitely sealed now.  Lol

Sunday still going to be a catch all for work. Eh, maybe more than that but yeah.

I might just see if I can get another note or two in here before I post, and call it good for the week.

We'll see.

*Well nothing new to report.

I took the day off, as we figured I would. My oldest son, pretty much been asleep the whole time he’s been here, but no expectations this time. It’s not a get right forever plan. So . . .

And a very special Happy Birthday to my stepdaughter. She deserves the world, but I'm sure she'll settle for a happy, stress free family life, which she also deserves! And to her old man, whose birthday lunch is being combined with today. Lol

I’m still trying to decide if I should pull my granddaughter off to the side before the tournament and teach the crane technique. I mean . . .”If do right, no can defense.”

 Please let’s keep encouraging each other, against all odds, to be the love, light, and kindness the world needs. Keep sharing your laughter too. That will never change either!! Light the way with it!

Until next week;

"A friend of mine taught me a powerful lesson that I always try to remember. He said, "In reality, you vote with your actions, not your words." This means that while I can tell you that my friends and family are important to me, I can write well-intended lists, and I can even become defensive in my well-thought-out excuses, ultimately, the measure of what's most important to me is how I spend my time and energy. " - Dr. Richard Carlson

 P.S. I'm pretty sure he watched me before . . .maybe not even in my old life. Lol no lol

[yakumtsaki]

The first semester has finally ended and it was officially our worst one EVER with an incredible grade average of C+, congrats guys! The only person who managed to crack an A was June, not because she’s a knowledge aspiration but because I constantly made her study to keep her away from her nephews. As if that wasn’t bad enough, we now live in a world that includes be-girlfriended Sugar.  

-WELL GOOD MORNING, SOPHITO. I WAS UP LATE MAKING OUT WITH A GIRL. WHO’S THE LOSER NOW?? -I never called you a loser! -You thought it! Everyone did! And now it is I that has a girlfriend and you who has NOTHING -I still have my disgusting torrid affair with Eliza! 

Ya you tell him, Soph! Your life is great!

I mean, it could be better. But worry not, it’s time to start working on those billion first dates you want, it will cheer you right up.

We ask out Blonde Meatballs and everything is going great!

-That’s right babe, first prize pre-school physics winner, three years in a row! -Oh my! -I know right! Wait, do you hear that?? -What, that distant moaning? -I KNOW THAT SOUND GOTTA GO

Uhh, Sophito? Is what I think is happening actually happening??

-YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS

Could it please not happen??

-NO!!!

Bro..

-FUCK YOU ELIZA YOU SAID YOU’D NEVER SLEEP WITH HIM AGAIN!!! -I NEVER SAID THAT, FREAKSHOW -YOU SAID IT WITH YOUR EYES!!!

Everything ok, Reg?

-I think I’m just gonna go give some financial advice on the internet.

-FUCK YOU, SLUTBAG, LIKE YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE ISN’T HOOKING UP WITH 50 PEOPLE. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, WAIT TILL YOU’VE FINISHED??? -WELL YES! GOD, YOU’RE STRONG -CROSSFIT, ASSHOLE. THERE’S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM

Alright then, I guess that’s it, everyone is mad, everyone hates each other, perfect. Sophito, I don’t know what madness suddenly overtook you, but why don’t we pick up our teeth from the floor and go continue our Meatballs date?

-I don’t want to! I’m very upset and betrayed! >:(

-Hey Soph, I think your gum is in my mouth? -Oh that’s a tooth, you can keep it.

As our date with Blonde Meatballs was such a smashing success, we seize the day and ask out Obvious Business Major right after. 2 down, 48 more to go! Fml.

I have literally never had a sim be as addicted to anything as Reginald is to giving financial advice on the internet, when I tell you guys this mofo will do this until he’s near death and I constantly have to monitor his vitals. No wonder Eliza is cheating on you!

-What’s Eliza? New start-up company?

It’s a new day and Stacy makes the grave mistake of coming over to see Julian.

-Oh so you’re the new pledge, and a romance sim to boot? Don’t even THINK of starting any affairs around here because that’s my thing, got it?? -What’s your damage, you crazy bitch?

Ya Stacy, that’s what I’ve been wondering as well. She had a great childhood with adoring parents, this is all her. 

Speaking of damage, June is finally interested in someone she doesn’t share ancestors with and it’s Erik Swain! I married him in during an old Union run and he makes cute af kids so I’ve been saving him but anything to get June off her bullshit. Go talk to him!

So it turns out that Erik is super shy and trying to get him to warm up to June was legit nails-on-chalkboard annoying but we finally befriend him- 

-AND HE TURNS US DOWN FOR A DATE DESPITE 2 BOLTS. ERIK SWAIN YOU DUMB BITCH. YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT ME MARRYING YOU IN THIS RUN

-Oh no, what a loss!

It is!!!! Now fuck off, June and I never wanna see you again!!!!

Why leave to passerby-fate what can also be achieved through cold hard cash?? We invite Lakshmi over and hope she doesn’t FUCK US OVER AS USUAL

-I won’t unless you pay me with frozen money a second time :)

I’M NOT HAVING THIS ARGUMENT LAKSHMI

We spend the max amount which we extremely cannot afford but I’m sure we’ll get our soulmate!

-Omg omg I can’t wait!

Omg omg me neither!

no.

way.

NO WAAAAAAAAAY. iVAN??? 

iVAN???????? 

iVAN?????????????????

-What? He’s the closest she can come to dating someone she’s related to without it actually being incest! 

LAKSHMI I SWEAR TO GOD.

-Well we do have 3 bolts, can’t I at least go through with the date?

NO YOU CANNOT.

Second try, fml. We’re gonna have to sell our gorilla statue at this rate. 

-Ok, I’m now gonna give you someone you can’t possibly object to..

-..because you don’t know him!

Who the fuck is this??? I’m not wasting June on some Apartment Life Benjamin Long nobody!!!!

-No refunds! 

Ok Lakshmi, against my better judgment, I’m gonna shell out another 5k we don’t have for a third and final attempt.

-You won’t regret it!

DORIAN THE BALDING COP????

-Ok, you might regret it.

GET OUT OF HERE LAKSHMI, I DON’T KNOW WHY I KEEP TRUSTING YOU

-Hiiiii Erik hi, it’s me!!!!

[hqcult]

EYELINER ## suna rintarou

trying to apply his eyeliner would've been easy if only rintarou can keep his hands to himself.

. tw smut, dom suna, established relationship, fingering, oral f receiving, edging, dirty talk, slight exhibitionism, mind break, unprotected sex, pwp . wc 4k

"ugh, he's gonna do it again." you mutter, eyeing suna's hand as it skims around your vanity desk for his favorite brand of eyeliner. for some reason everybody naturally finds themself drawn to suna rintarou, even if he was always so stoic and detached. 

you hate how girls would flock around him in parties as they stare at his kohl-lined eyes or at the painted black nail polish whenever you disappear to get a drink, knowing full well what kind of thoughts are running in their heads because you, for sure, thought of him the same way. alright. we get it. your boyfriend can be a hot mofo if he wants to be and his idgaf attitude just adds to the whole appeal.

we get it.

because you love him more than the stars in the galaxy combined, sometimes you can't help but feel jealous when people get too close to him. you really didn't want to be that type of girlfriend but sometimes you just like the assurance that he's all yours and nothing's wrong about that, right? plus, suna seems to exceptionally love when he gets you jealous and feral. he may always pretend otherwise but he loves staking his claim on you just as much as you liked being claimed by him. 

"are you done yet?" you say, staring at him from your bedroom door frame. 

atsumu was throwing a party tonight and you were all dressed up and ready to go, just patiently waiting for your boyfriend. 

suna replies a beat later, not bothering to meet your eyes. "just a minute."

you just want his attention all on you. you don't even want to go to this stupid party and see all these people shamelessly flirting with him even if you were right there by his side. you just want to have some alone time with suna rintarou. 

and you may or may not have just come up with an idea to make that happen.

"where's the eyeliner? the one i always use?"

"it's not there? i know i left it there. wait, let me look." 

you straighten up, walking towards him in your red leather mini skirt that can make any man's eyes sliver down to your ass. 

suna is sitting on your swivel chair, leaning back in a man spread as he clicks his tongue impatiently. he looks good even in a plain shirt and a pair of ripped jeans, his athletic and tall build enough to make any outfit look good.

"are you sure it's not in the drawers?"

"yes, i already checked."

you pout, making a show of muttering "i swore i threw it in here," under your breath as you maneuver around his spread legs to stand in between them, bending forward as you rummage around where he's already looked twice. 

you know he's staring at your ass. suna was never lowkey with how much he loves you in this leather mini-skirt. it's a miracle he hasn't landed a rough spank yet after getting a face full view of your ass. 

"wait a minute, maybe it rolled under my vanity."

so you get down on your knees, making sure your butt grazes the front of his jeans and just like you predicted, suna was half-hard already. 

it was truly such a stroke to your ego but you focus on the task at hand. 

you arched your ass up as you bend down to look for the little tube of eyeliner, slightly shaking it side to side as you "struggle" to get the eyeliner out from underneath the table. 

when your hands feel the cylindrical plastic, you retreat, sitting up straight again and proudly showing your boyfriend the eyeliner in your hands. 

you made sure your eyes were as huge and innocent as they look, kneeling in between his legs, shins tucked in and hands in your lap like a good girl. 

"i found it!"

you could've sworn you've seen his left eye twitch as he stared you down. you've been with him long enough to notice that look in his eyes. what are you playing at, huh?

you wait for him to speak but you can see all the gears turning in his head as he continues to stare at you. 

you wait anxiously for what he's going to do next. maybe he'll make you suck him off, or he'll throw you on the bed, or spank your ass because you were clearly teasing him—

"why don't you put my eyeliner on for me?"

you stand up, opening the tube in as he shuts his eyes. you try not to let your disappointment show too much. fine. maybe you can just have a quickie later while drunk in one of the rooms in the frat house. 

"why are you standing? come sit on my lap while you're doing it."

you were too busy removing the excess product off the brush to notice his eyes had taken a dark turn, contradicting the gentleness of his warm hands as it snakes around the back of your bare thighs pulling you closer. 

"no, i'll mess this—"

"i said sit."

delicious shivers create goosebumps on your skin. 

you know that tone. he only uses it when he's horny and he wants to bend you over. so maybe your game plan did work after all, yet you're staring at him dumbfounded with the eyeliner brush in midair. 

"come sit. i won't repeat myself." he leans back against the chair, manspreading as he waits for you. 

you scramble to straddle his strong thighs, muscles a manifestation of his hard work and dedication to volleyball. it was great to see him in action on the court but you'd rather he flexed those muscles when you ride his thighs. 

you cup his face, getting all up in his personal space to apply the eyeliner. 

you've long grown out of the honeymoon phase but why is your heart beating so damn fast right now?

your hands were shaking, perspiration was building up in your forehead, and you were holding your breath.

"are you nervous?"

"shut up, rin. 'm not."

when the brush first touches the lid of his eyes, a nimble finger traces the expanse of your whole slit over your panties. 

you pull the brush away, hissing in surprise. 

"rintarou—!"

"what?"

his sharp tone isn't what shut you up, it was the hand cupping your sex. the heel of his wrist slowly grazing against your sensitive clit. you drew a sharp breath. he smirks. 

"go on. continue, doll."

you want to hate the teasing lilt in his voice but you know deep down you love it.

you held your breath, diving in once again to the task at hand whilst trying to ready yourself from his ministrations. 

your hand slightly shakes as you start in the middle of his waterline, slowly tracing the bottom part of his eyes before making a small wing at the end. 

you've seen him apply his own eyeliner so much you have this down to an art form. everything would've been easy if only he kept his hands to himself. you try to ignore the digit still feathering over your slit or the hand wrapping around you to bunch your skirt up around the waist. 

for someone whose eyes are closed he's doing a damn good job navigating. but maybe that's how he shows you're his. he knows your body like the back of his hand, he knows what makes you tick, what makes you pant, what makes you moan in ecstasy. 

"i can never resist when you dress up all pretty for me. you know that, right, doll?"

applying the eyeliner to his waterline had been fairly easy. the lash line, on the other hand, proved difficult. especially when suna's upgraded from tracing your pussy lips to dangerously toying with the elastics of your panties, slipping his finger under before stretching it to slap your skin. 

as you try to connect the upper part of the eyeliner to the small wing you made from his waterline, you hissed. 

"why don’t you pull them down?"

he chuckles at your impatience and you slightly pull the brush away as he finally shoves the fabric down. you gasp when the cold hits your wet cunt. the scent of your essence unmistakable and you know suna's holding back from teasing. 

"as you wish, baby."

as suna grows bolder, the more your hands shook as you worked on his other eye. 

just as the tip of the brush touched his left eye's waterline, he pushed two fingers inside of you, dragging them against your walls in a lazy manner that was so distinctly him. he curls his fingers when he fucks it in before dragging them against your walls when he pulls it out, slightly scissoring you. he uses his other hand to draw figure 8’s against your clit. 

you swallow, trying your best to keep your hand still as a surgeon but you see the jagged little curves where your jolts of pleasure were too strong. 

you never should've provoked him to shove your underthings down, at least then you wouldn't have to suffer through his fingers. they were just so long, so thick, and so experienced when it comes to pleasuring you that you can never touch yourself anymore without craving suna's own fingers instead. 

you bit your lip, the hand that was cupping his jaw tightening as you try to fix the little mistakes here and there, hoping suna won't see them when he inspects your work in the mirror. it doesn't matter that he purposely set you up to fail. there'll be consequences if he isn't satisfied with what you did. may god have mercy on your horny little soul if rintarou thinks you were a bad girl. 

"you just hate losing, don't you?" you hiss, jolting when you feel him slap your cunt. your knees nearly buckled and you almost fell off the chair if not for his sturdy hand on the small of your back. 

"what are you talking about? i'm just fingering my girl like a winner."

just as you started outlining his left lash line, suna shoves a 3rd finger into your sopping cunt. loud squelching noises fill the room as your walls pulsate around his thick digits. the metal rings he wore brushing against your pussy lips as he fucks you knuckle-deep with three fingers. involuntarily, your own hips started moving to match his pace, shamelessly thrusting up everytime he shoves his fingers in.

he knows you so well. he doesn't even need to look at your face, he can feel you out by the noises you make. so good. so good. his fingers feel so good. fuck. fuck. fuck.

until he pulls them out of your sopping pussy. 

"rin," you whine, folding into his shoulder as you struggle to balance your kneeling self on the chair. you blindly reach down for his hand, urging him to put his fingers back in. "rin, please don't stop. please please please—”

"i told you to put my eyeliner, not fuck yourself on my fingers," he leans back on the chair, eyes still shut close while licking his digits clean. 

your lips press into a thin line, eyes dilated as a whine starts to threaten to pass your lips. you're sick of whatever game this is, you just want him to fuck you silly already! but as if sensing your thoughts, suna clicks his tongue and speaks. "hurry it up. we have a party to get to."

without his fingers to plug your cunny, your slick runs down the insides of your thighs. it's slow descent against your skin making goosebumps run up your arms, shivering as the cold hits your bare cunt. 

suna must've known your anguish, he could feel his jeans getting soaked but he didn't care and you wish to punch that smug smirk off his pretty face. 

your fingers stilled when you cupped his cheeks and leaned in to start applying a thin stroke of eyeliner to his water line. with a simple flick of the wrist you ended it with a little wing, just like how your boyfriend likes it. now, you just have to do his lash line and—

you let out an audible gasp when his fingers started feeling around your thighs, having an inkling idea of what he's tryna look for. true to what you expected, he traces the line of your dripping slick up your inner thighs until his fingers graze your nether lips, successfully collecting your essence. 

you stare entranced when suna brings them up to his lips, eyebrows furrowed and almost moaning aloud because of your taste. the fact that his eyes are closed made you want him even more. his fingers pop out of his mouth, but you get the feeling it wasn't enough. he wants more. suna wants you under his mercy. he wants to taste and ruin you until you're fucked out and lying in a pretty mess on the bed sheets. 

"so fucking sweet, my baby. you're this desperate for me? for my fingers?"

you snapped. you threw the makeup elsewhere in the room (though not before screwing it shut) before diving down to kiss him on the lips. all lust-filled and rough as you both channel the desires you have for each other. maybe suna was at his tipping point too, noting that he doesn't even bother to push you away. 

with his strong arms he picks you up and you wrap your legs around his torso, never breaking the kiss before literally throwing you down on the bed, knocking the air out your lungs. 

"rin!"

"whoops."

he's kneeling before the bed, the sheets ruffling when he pulls you to the edge by your calves, hot breath against your sex making you squirm. 

"my pretty thing," the kitten lick against your pussy drove you crazy, desperately bucking your hips up and suna chuckles condescendingly. "but such a bad fuckin' girl, aren't ya?"

you yelp when he slaps the side of your thigh. 

"who said you could kiss me?"

he pinches your clit hard as he enters your line of sight. suna has never seen you this pretty and desperate for him before. sweat making your skin glow, lips raw from your biting, eyes conveying your every lust-filled thought about him. the sight of you so riled up makes his dick ache and he wants so badly to fuck you already but bad girls don't get what they want just yet. you have to earn it. 

"i asked you a question. who the fuck told you that you could fucking kiss me?" the acid in his voice contrasts the gentle way he caresses the spot on your thigh where he had hit you. 

"no one."

you sob in pleasure when his hot tongue licks a stripe up your pussy before suckling on your clit. once. twice. sucking particularly hard on the third. before running his tongue swiftly over the bundle of nerves and kitten licking his way down your pussy lips. your thighs were shaking so hard he had to pin them down. he knows it's a sign that you're close, not that he's surprised, he's been stimulating your body for minutes now it was amazing you haven't cummed yet. 

but then he stops.

a thread of your slick dribbling down his chin as those cat eyes of his stare you down. he watches, enchanted by how your chest rises and falls. another sweet release he snatched away from you.

"i thought so. what does that make you?"

amazing how he manages to sound so normal, conversational even while he's literally edging you like there's no tomorrow. what do you expect? it's his favorite punishment. he gets to see you sob and beg for him like there's nothing in your mind but his cock and he loves it so much. loves seeing you bend and break for him to please. 

you sniffle, arm coming up to hide the frustrated tears in your eyes. "been… been a bad girl."

a hand slaps your thighs, brutal. eyes on rintarou when answering his questions. your eyes shoot up. 

"and who's bad girl have you been?"

"yours."

this time he reaches forward to tweak your pebbled nipples. the sudden cold of the pads of his fingers making you gasp and spasm. your boyfriend straddles you and you shiver at the head of his glistening cock leaving trails on top of your thighs. but he doesn't make another move. when you sneakily try wiggling your hips for your sex to graze his dick, he slapped your thigh without holding back. you doubt it won't start leaving a handprint. you wait with bated breath when he grabs hold of his cock, the head angry and dripping, the only proof of his also growing desire for you. 

when he directs the head for it to graze your nether lips, you almost cried another fresh batch of tears. his hand quickly brushes up to wipe it away, though not before feeling his dick twitch. you know how much he loves seeing you cry from the overwhelming pleasure he can give you. 

"last time i checked, my name isn't yours. didn't i tell you to answer in full sentences when i'm fucki—"

"suna! suna rintarou! i've been sun-suna rintarou's bad girl!"

suna ducks to mark your neck and torso. he feels the goosebumps forming on your body. the heat enveloping the two of you as you both quickly shed any remaining pieces of clothing. he kisses you. sloppy. nothing but teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance as he cradles your face with his big hands, feeling the mushroom head of his cock grazing your thighs.

usually he'd appreciate you not cutting him off mid-sentence but he too has reached his own limits and right now all he can think about is drilling you to the mattress. "rin, please!" you sob, arms wrapping around his neck as you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck.

"shh. yes, doll. i hear ya." 

you were dripping wet enough that all it took is one deep thrust for him to bottom-out. usually you're quite hesitant when rintarou's rawing you but at this point right now, you doubt fucking with a condom would've felt this good. no thin plastic whatsoever that's separating you from him. when he starts to move, you both moan in ecstasy. the bed creaking under the weight of you both as he pistons his dick inside. "you feel so good, doll. so fucking wet and tight. look how wet you are. dripping for my cock, huh? this all for me? answer me!"

you hardly register his voice, the pleasure you've been craving since minutes ago now being crashed down upon you. it's overwhelming and you don't want it any other way. 

"yes," you pant. the tears still leaking from your eyes as you claw at his biceps. "yes. all-all for you, r-rin! just for you!"

he stubbornly keeps hitting the spot that'll make you keen and whine, suna forcing your hips down and sitting up with his palms at the sides of your head. he wants to see you come undone, he'd love to grab his phone and make this memory permanent but he doubts his camera can capture the real deal. your moans and pleas reaching his ears, spurring him on, the beautiful way your back arches of the mattress, the way you physically shook in pleasure and you screamed and worshipped his name.

"rin! oh my god, rin! fuck. 'm close," your voice breaks, hiccuping from the onslaught of tears you can't hold back as blinding pleasure grips you in a tight vice.

suna comes down to snake his arms around you, pulling you infinitely closer as one of his hands supports your lower back, manually moving your hips to match his frantic thrusts. "why you crying? bad girls should be tough, right? aren't—shit—aren't you a bad girl? hmm? bad girls like you shouldn't be crying."

you shake your head, looking pretty and desperate as you meet his eyes. "no, i'm not a bad—"

"yes. you are," you groan, his thrusts particularly hard to shut you up and make a point. "you're a very, very bad girl. you don't listen to me at all. bad girls don't even deserve to cum."

"no! no! rin, please!" you say, a blubbering mess as you bury your forehead into his neck, licking and suckling at his skin to get in his good side. "i'll be good. i promise! please, let me cum. rin! please, i'll be good. i'll be good! only your good—ah."

"you fucking bet you're my good girl," he hissed, biting your shoulder before moaning, pitched and wanton as it threatens to snap the stretched cord inside of you. but not yet. you can't. not unless he says so. "it's me that's making you feel this good. this is my pussy. my plaything. repeat what i said—doll! repeat what i said."

you cried, screaming in frustration as his cock stills inside of you and you know he won't move until you oblige. "this is…" you hiccup. "rin-rintarou's pu-pussy. i'm rintarou's play-plaything."

"what was that?" he asks, hips starting to rut against you again in full force. the headboard violently hitting the walls. when your hands scramble to cling onto something, you accidentally shove something off the bed but you couldn't care less. "louder, doll. i want the whole fucking neighborhood to hear you."

"this is rintarou's pussy. i'm rintarou's plaything." you say in your normal speaking voice, albeit shaky and almost incomprehensible as he holds you firm against him, his cock embedding it's shape and size into your sopping walls.

"louder!"

he hoists you up into a sitting position, his hips fucking up towards you and you only realize he did it when you see the window situated meters behind you two. curtains-drawn, open for the night breeze to billow in. he wasn't kidding. suna rintarou wants the neighbors to hear how good you're getting rawed. he wasn't kidding. he was not kidding.

"go on," he whispers, breathy and teasing. "you'll do it. you're a good girl for me arentcha?"

fuck. "this is rintarou's pussy! i'm rintarou's plaything!"

he licks a stripe up your neck, hands coming around your neck as he whispers into your ear the words you've been dying to hear. "cum, baby."

and your orgasm surges through your whole body in violent jolts, thick ropes of cum squirting out your pussy as you distantly hear him groaning, your walls tightening and sucking him in with every aggressive thrust. rintarou quickly finishes after you, teeth embedding themselves into your shoulder as he groans. you knew bruises will form and you're going to be sore as a bitch but you don't fucking care.

"rin, i love you." you say, grabbing a hold of his face as you stare deep into his eyes. and you don't understand why there's doubt clouding in your head when he takes a beat later to answer, when really, he just can't help the sudden wave of emotions festering in his stomach as he meets the gravity of your gaze. the love and devotion in your eyes as he can only hope that he could translate his emotions through his eyes, too.

he smiles, leaning in to give you a kiss. it's sweet and gentle, completely unlike the one he gave you a few minutes ago when in the throes of pleasure. no. you feel every bit of his love for you in this one kiss and you don't know why you ever doubted yourself, doubted him. you've been together for so long and you're it for him. 

"i love you, too."

but leave it to your darling rintarou to ruin the moment.

"but you'll never apply my eyeliner ever again."

. a/n » this was so self-indulgent im sorry lmao

[loneworldgazer]

what if you were their personal helper?

a/n: im biased on all of these because basically you're special to them in a type of way

part 2

warnings: chapter 189-206 spoilers‼‼, suggestive, violence mentions

sanzu

you would be his personal cook that mikey assigned

you really worked hard at making the best dishes for sanzu (1. 50/50 chance of getting killed because you might never know with his pill popping ass and 2. you don't want to purposely mess up good ingredients)

sanzu though, really loves your dishes

he would say horrendous compliments like how he was about to have an orgasm biting into the steak minutes ago (rindou looks up at him from his laptop in disgust while ran scoffs in amusement)

ran suggested to maybe gift you something or pay a visit to whoever is cooking his meals and damn well sanzu was thrilled to hear that idea and was ready to work on it

(the haitani brothers thought the same, that you were probably going to shit your pants if bonten's number 2 suddenly appeared right beside you out of nowhere)

the very next day, his preffered time of lunch was much more later than the others so it's pretty normal for the others to not see him at the table and knowing that he's doing his own business

but this is completely different than what he usually does, he's looking for you! and there you were, in the flesh and busy preparing his meal

you look rather panicked, oh how many guesses he had. it was near his lunch time, you cooked the wrong meal, you're panicking about the slighest things or you thought you were doing it wrong

turns out you just wanted to cut the right size of tomatoes because you cut one ridiculously large chunk so you huffed and picked another tomato and nearly laughed at your stupidity

well sanzu was correct in some ways but you were just minutes away in finishing so he watched

with every second he stepped closer and the closer he got which was just right over your shoulder, you squeled because 1) creepy and 2) his breath was tickling your neck that you just had to make noise

you grabbed your wrist and your finger bled, in the state of suprise you accidently cut your thumb, luckily it was only a little so you rushed to the sink to wash it off

sanzu had a smile on his face, oh woops accidently shocked a poor person by breathing on them so the best he could do was offering a bandaid that was in his pocket

you glanced at his arm and saw the bonten tattoo inked on it so your eyes lit up in fear in why a bonten member is up infront of you

you gulped and he couldn't help but giggle to how terrified you looked and he twirled the plate that his food on it

"you're almost finished with my food, huh? quickly, you have a few seconds" you looked at him again but with genuine curiousity and suprise that said "sanzu haruchiyo? what is he doing here?"

your thoughts swirled in your head in chaos, finishing up his food and the waiter that were to take his food entered the kitchen

he froze in the doorway, recognizing the feared bonten 2 and sanzu asked him to go away by simply motioning it with his hand as well as adding in a "if you don't go, i'll kill you" by doing a slashing motion across his neck, you did not know how fast the waiter walked out of there

sanzu carried his plate towards the table your partners and you ate at and sat there, tilting his head when you stayed at the same spot

"sit here, i wanna talk" shitting your pants is a understatement, dying should be the right term

but no worries when you sat down, he smiled again with his eyes closed (though you're not sure what kind of smile was this, his rare ones? because if it is then you can make it out of here without being out in a grave)

let's just say he was interested in you and he said quite some nice words to you, this won't be the first time he'll crash into your life and have moments of talking to you after all, you're his cook right?

you're just lucky enough when he decides that you're one of the few pieces he'll cherish in his life, one he wouldn't kill but respect deeply and stick around with

kokonoi

you were his respectable assistant that deals with errands, well a more better term is a spy

you listened to conversations about bonten in the dark and sneak off to inform the others, first of all koko of course

your relationship between him was proffesional and all, reporting about what bonten enemies have said, nod and leave

but there was a time where he finally got to know you a bit better

you were a bit later than the time he asked for you to come to his office after your work, about 10 minutes atleast and he raised his eyebrow at you when you slipped into his office out of breath but quickly regain it as to not piss him off any further

"sorry sir, i got attacked" attacked you say? he got up from his seat, slowly approacing you and you sweat

overall his demeanor was cocky and all but you've never seen a scary side so supposingly it's okay for you to not feel threatened but would he really be angry at you for getting attacked?

"i don't see any bruises on you, did you really get attacked?" that sly grin showcased itself, he felt the taste of a lie coming but it didn't when you spoke up again

"i fought back sir, with this." you pulled out the staff, pressing the button to open it and twirled it over for him to see

it was the staff he gave, well actually showed off when he opened the weapons room, telling you to atleast get a weapon to defend yourself, if you can even though (he halfly joked at the end with his tongue out)

you told him that it was the gang that was still gaining these "leaks and secrets" or so to speak, are the ones rindou falsely put out in the open and the gang planned to go to one of the secret bases that bonten usually went to

besides what you say is necessary information but he circled around you in silence and decided to try to hit your head but you smack his hand away with the staff

he went for your neck but you swiftly wack the staff into his waist and he groaned, impressed

he was about to say something but sanzu interrupted by opening the door without knocking and almost bumped koko with the door

"heheh sorry, can i borrow your assistant, come come~" sanzu sung out but koko shooed him away, wanting some time to talk to you but pink crazed bastard wanted to talk to you so he shut the door on him and yelled at him to go away for a moment

after that day, more people seem to recognize and fought with you

it would pretty ironic if koko were to be the one ordering them to attack you

" i wanna see you fight more" whatever he says, you just hope it actually isn't him sending mofos to attack you because that would be a d!ck move

but he didn't, one of the bonten members revealed that a little spy is watching them from above like the idiots they were that they bumbled out their secrets for the spy to hear (guess who)

so he rewards you, after the hell you went through, you better be gifted

extra!!:

"may i measure you?" you looked back at the person in shock as they smiled warmly at you and you suspiciously glared at them, reaching slowly for your staff.

"sir kokonoi has asked to measure you." they went to stretch out the measuring tape and held it around your waist, you hesitated on holding up your shirt because of how ticklish and feathery their fingers were. this was all too sudden but you go along with it.

while you twist your shirt up, they placed a note in your back pocket and you questioned on why did they do that, you reached it while they're measuring your legs.

"i'll send someone in to measure your size for your clothing, do you also want lingerie to be part of your gift too?~" the note said and you nearly stumbled into the tailor when you tried rereading it all over again.

"what colour do you want? do you want a matching set?" "no!!"

(koko's probably pissing himself right now, trying to imagine your panicky expression, laughing like a maniac in his office)

ran

you worked as his personal maid and he admired how careful you were

you were pretty noticeable since you took your time on one thing at a time like dusting off shelves and cupboards for a long moment or scrubbing away at the dirt in the plate that stuck too long there (i mean it's reasonable but you stressed over it for a few minutes)

he approached at some times to check on you and he would smile sadistically at times when you look at him like a deer in headlights, wondering what you did wrong to make him approach you himself

he just wanted to praise and point out some of your habits which you rubbed your neck to and nodded to do better next time

it also gave him a chance to see your stretched arm and your hands, especially your knuckles more better than afar (not in a creepy way)

your knuckles were deep red and would have cuts over it and he would leave at that but it got too much for him whenever he came to you and it kept getting worse

he popped the question when you moved his flowers into a pot to sit in the sun when your hands were all bandaged up

"why has the condition of your hands worsen everytime i come to you?" so he did notice, you sighed and told him the truth while you rubbed your bandaged knuckles

"people are picking on me so hitting their faces makes my knuckles hurt and become ugly each time i return back here" he was suprised that you even used your fists and he held your hands and spoke softly

"you didn't use the baton i gave you?" you feel yourself burn, you had to pull away from him and you wanted to jog off into the sun but you akwardly shrugged instead

"i'm a lot more used to using fists to fight plus i.. might have hit my face with the baton once" his laugh was sugary sweet, the rarest you've ever heard but he was laughing at your mistake so you bit your tongue and fumed, going back to arranging his flowers (that he's probably allergic to but keeps them around cause they're pretty💀)

he patted your shoulder, casually correcting himself that it was cute that atleast you did try to use the baton that he lended to you

"i'll teach you, every evening at around 4, i'll train you to use the baton so it's less work for your fists and more for your baton." you responded that mikey had his meal around that time and you had to clean the table cloth after he eats, shyly you admit that he tends to be a little messy when eating

ran smiled, stuffing his hands into his pockets and going off after insulting you one last time

"i'm impressed that you're more careful with the table cloth than your own hands" and that ends the evening with you screaming into your hands because of how frustating, ran haitani bonten executive was

extra!!:

"now i really need you to be honest with me, how do you even fight with your fists?" "your brother teaches me how to break their limbs but i accidently graze the floor sometimes because of how tough the enemy is"

well that was pretty shocking, he looks at you with suprise in his eyes, you also looked at him suprised, you just didn't know how expressive he was and you're finding out about them because of these 4pm sessions.

"doesn't he have a maid that helps him out?" "he says i make great coffee" ran grumbled that you shouldn't even serve a fucker who drinks coffee in the first place and you couldn't help laughing. in exchange for the love of coffee, rindou might as well train you. he's not blind, he sees the bruises on your hands when you return back to the headquarters.

(and to maybe trigger ran a little since he was the one mainly teaching reader his fighting style and not ran and his lame ass baton and he just stole his maid for a few seconds, might as well train them as a reward)

"show me a better compliment and i might stop serving him" "you're good with your hands" you smirked and got up and tapped his shoulders with the baton, teasing him into giving you more compliments

"shut it now before i use my hands to shut you up" "you may at anytime" and he did, now you can imagine what he did lol

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Last Part

Image adapted from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, angst, fluff Warnings: Strong language Word Count: 3.4k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | You are on the Last Part

A/N: And so it comes to an end, and let me tell you guys, I am not okay 😔 This is going to be a bit of a longer A/N, so please bear with me. If you’d like to get straight to the story, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND, so feel free to click Keep Reading!

Lowkey, I had a bit of a meltdown as I typed the final words on this fic because I hadn’t realized how attached I had grown to the characters. This is the first time I wrote three different chapter openers before deciding on one, because I simply couldn’t believe it was goodbye after this.

These mofos had constantly been on my mind for the past two months and a half. I would spend most days thinking about where to take them and then bringing them to life at night, after my entire day was over. When I wasn’t writing, I’d make little notes about thoughts I had into the night about them so that I wouldn’t forget them when morning comes. 

This was my first ever (and as of right now, my only) chaptered fic. I had no idea parting with it would be as emotional as it was. When I think back to when I first received the prompt for this, I had never even imagined I could write Renjun, let alone a series. But there was something in the prompt that had gotten my wheels turning. And I am so immensely glad that it did. There were days when I thought “Oh man, what have I gotten myself into.” Some days, the story would just flow. Other days, I’d keep staring at the blinking cursor not knowing what to type. But when I did, I found my emotions so deeply connected with the characters. I was happy when they were happy. I was sad when they were sad. So, parting with them is very hard to say the least.

But through this journey, I got to experience the joy of reading all of your reviews and comments and honestly, it made it all worth it. THANK YOU to every single one of you that read this story and waited on it and laughed and cried with it. You have made my life better in more ways than you can imagine.

In this moment, I want to thank 🍙 anon, because it was their prompt that put me in this mess in the first place. And so, it is only fitting that I dedicate the final part to them 💛

“Oh, we definitely need a picture together. How about here? I think this place would fit everyone.” Kim Doyoung looks about, finding a spot best suited for the photo he wanted.

“I think right there on the platform would be better. We could get everyone in two tiers.” his assistant suggests.

“You’re a genius. Let’s gather everyone. It’s not often that so many NCTU grads and students come to Midnight Arthouse,” Doyoung nods.

“How many of us are here, anyway?” Renjun muses. The assistant looks at her iPad, checking once again.

“I think there’s 23 of you. So, let’s definitely go for the platform.” she nods.

“Okay, then.” Doyoung claps his hands together once, “Gather everyone,” he says to no one in particular and walks ahead with purpose. Renjun and the assistant’s eyes meet and they smirk. Of course this was directed to the both of them. So, they set about to work.

As it would turn out, gathering 23 people from a charity event with art and food and drinks would be a bit of a task. But somehow, they manage to gather all alumni and current students on the platform in three tiers instead of two for a somewhat chaotic picture. There must’ve been something in the water at NCTU because none of it’s students could stand still for very long. They get maybe one decent picture and several in which someone or the other was moving or pulling a face.

His friends aside, looking around at the group, Renjun realized that he recognized nearly all of them. Yangyang and Hendery and the rest of their frat were here. As were the 127s, old and new. Renjun recognized them all, except maybe two boys, who didn’t seem to know a lot of the others either. When the pictures were done and the main events were over and the crowd had started to dissipate, Renjun finally walked over to the artwork to observe it up close.

Honestly speaking, watching the work with his own two eyes left no doubt in his mind that this artist deserved to be spotlighted like this. This work was in a league of its own. Watching it makes Renjun smile; because looking at it makes him think back to a few months ago when he was sitting in Kim Doyoung’s office, thinking of himself as some sort of a big shot. But the truth is, there was no way he had that caliber then, and there is no way he has that caliber now, though he was sure as hell working on it.

“This is the piece I lost the bid on.” Renjun hears a voice and he turns around to see Zhong Chenle’s father observing the art with him. Renjun bows politely and smiles under his mask,

“I mean, this is a remarkable piece. You have good taste.” Renjun acknowledges.

“What about you? Why isn’t any of your artwork displayed here?” he asks and for a while, Renjun smiles a bit nostalgically. He could’ve been here, had he made something for the Annuale. Had he just selfishly taken that shot. Then again, there would’ve been no real guarantees. Because Kim Doyoung was pretty particular in the people he chose, whether they were recommended by his family or not. Working with him closely in the last couple of months had taught Renjun that. It had also taught him how underdeveloped his skill was in the real world context.

“I guess I still have a long way to go.” Renjun replies humbly.

“Don’t we all?” Chenle’s father nods, “Are you working here at this establishment?” 

“Um, I… I suppose I am. I am Kim Doyoung’s apprentice. He is my mentor.” Renjun nods.

“So I might see your work here soon enough, eh?” Renjun assumes the kind man is smiling under his mask because his eyes seem to be making the same shape as Chenle’s do when he smiles. So Renjun grins back.

“I mean… if I work really hard, I might get to shoot my shot in the next Midnight Arthouse Annuale.” Renjun fantasizes.

“Or maybe you’d get lucky like this young artist,” he points his chin towards the artwork.

Renjun smiles, “I would credit her luck, too if I hadn’t seen her work. But her talent is… it kinda speaks for itself.”

“Oh, no, you should definitely credit her luck. Talent isn’t enough. The stars have to align. Luck, talent, the right place, the right time. It all has to come together.” he says nodding. 

Renjun considers his words. They seem to be coming from the wisdom of experience. 

What if Renjun hadn’t received the phone call about his grandma back then? Well, then he probably would’ve made something lackluster and gotten rejected. Working with Kim Doyoung has taught him as much. It didn’t matter who had put a word in for him. At the end of the day, his work had to be outclass.

What if he had received the phone call and then still had enough time to submit something for the Annuale? Then he still probably wouldn’t have because… well, because of you.

What if he had gone ahead, regardless of you or his grandma and just made something and submitted it? Then he still would’ve been rejected. Because the truth of the matter is, he just didn’t have the caliber that artists associated with Midnight Arthouse did.

In that sense, Renjun supposes everything was in fact happening at the right place and right time now. Doyoung was mentoring him and he was getting better by the day. The stars were aligning for him. He knew it in his heart.

“Then I would wish that it all comes together for me, too.” Renjun says.

“When it does, young man, I’ll be the first one to bid on your work.” he says and Renjun doesn’t even have the time to react when he feels a presence breeze in his direction and invade his personal space.

Renjun doesn’t even have to look up to know who it is. He can tell by the way this body fits perfectly into his side. He can tell by how naturally his own body responds and just puts his arm around it’s waist.

“Oh man, I missed all of it, didn’t I?” you lament, as you loop your arms around his neck from the side instead of a hello.

“Not all of it. The guys just left but your brother and his friends are still here. Besides, you had work.” Renjun turns his head and looks into your eyes to reassure you. “Y/N, this is Chenle’s father.”

“Oh, hello!” you say cheerfully and respectfully bow and give you greetings. “It is so nice to meet you. Chenle looks just like you!”

“Yes, I’ve been told I’m a more handsome version of him,” he smiles then turns to Renjun, “And who might this young lady be?”

“This is my girlfriend, Y/N. She goes to NCTU with us.” Renjun introduces you and you bow again. Oh, the thrill he got every time he got to introduce you as his girlfriend. Fuck, he’s pretty sure he’d never tire of it, even if it had just been a few months. The serotonin boost in his veins is strong and he gets the urge to squeeze you and hold you forever.

“Oh, that’s very nice. Come have a meal with us before we have to catch a plane back home, okay?” Chenle’s father invites the two of you. 

“Oh, I would love to!” you say in your chipper tone before your eyes start darting around “I’m going to have to excuse myself for a little bit, I just wanna say hi to my brother.” you say and you politely bow before you start moving away.

“Babe, hang on…” Renjun says, holding you back by your hand. He brings his fingers delicately to the bridge of your nose and softly pinches down the mask over it so it sits more snugly on you. “There, it’s much safer now.” Renjun nods and watches the affectionate smile your eyes give before you move away. You looked so pretty today, even if you were just coming back from a four-hour internship. You were easily the most beautiful girl in this room, though Renjun suspected that you’d be the most beautiful girl in any room you entered. 

Albeit sometimes, Renjun had to wonder if your talent or your beauty was greater. Because you had become the only junior in NCTU to land an internship at the SMK Trainee Drive. And now that you were a senior, you were somehow managing to keep your grades up alongside it. 

Renjun, on the other hand, would find himself struggling with balancing his apprenticeship with his school work. So he knew firsthand how your discipline was something else altogether. Recently though, he had experienced a rise in his grades because you had been taking him on so many study dates that your organizational skills and motivation had started to rub off on him.

Renjun walks around the studio and the party and feels like it’s been too long till you’re finally back by his side. 

“Love in the Time of Corona,” you read the title of an art piece displayed in front of you. “That was supposed to be our thing.”

Renjun laughs and has no qualms in looping his arms around your waist and finally pulling you into himself.

“I guess we should’ve realized then how un-novel the idea would become in a few months.” he comments. 

“Un-novel is not a word, Huang Renjun.” you narrow your eyes at him.

Renjun laughs. “It is now,” he says and lets out a long exhale, “I missed you today.” he complains, though he looks down at you with warmth.

“Well, you’ve got me now. And you have me for the entire weekend.” you reassure him, your palms on his chest.

“Mhmm.” Renjun smiles and he wants to lean in to kiss you. But Kim Doyoung specifically had people assigned to walk around and make sure that everyone had their masks on when inside. “Also, we already have a thing.” he reminds you and winks.

You laugh, and say “I guess we do,” then let out a happy sigh as your eyes avert from his for a moment, taking in your surroundings. “Our Couple Thing should give you some ideas on what you can make when your work is displayed here in the 2022 Annuale. I won’t be late to that, I promise. I’ll take a day off from everything else in my life.”

Renjun's heart grows warmer still, and he’s sure his eyes reflect what he feels, “How can you be so sure my work will be displayed in the 2022 Annuale?”

“I don’t know, Huang Renjun. I just have a feeling about you.” you say and Renjun can see you smile even if your lips are covered by a mask. Your eyes always smiled before your mouth did, anyway.

“Y/N L/N, I have a feeling about you, too.” he retorts. 

“And what feeling would that be?” you raise an eyebrow.

“It’s a secret.” he says, but now he sees your pout, even if he can’t see your mouth because your cheeks have puffed up over the mask. It makes him laugh.

“You’re no fun.” you protest.

“I’ll tell you once we get out of here.” Renjun offers.

“Well, I’m ready to leave.” you jut your chin up. Renjun grins and offers you his arm. You grab it with your entire body and the two of you start walking out together.

You had plans for the weekend, after all. And Renjun was determined to keep you all to himself for once, with no one else demanding your time. Not your internship, not your assignments, not any of your friends, and especially not Lee fucking Donghyuck. He was finally going to take you away where it could just be you and him and nobody else.

This moment felt way too surreal to Renjun.

The campfire had simmered down from a glorious roar to a comfortable burn, giving off just enough heat in the cool of an early winter evening. The sky was in it’s fading moments, where the pink of the light was slowly turning to violets and the violets were slowly merging into darks. 

Renjun remembered suggesting to you all that time ago that maybe you could go somewhere together. But now that he was here, he hadn’t imagined that the moment would feel as surreal as it did. 

Because now the two of you are sitting in front of your tent by the fire, entwined in one another. You’re sitting between his legs, arms around his neck, nuzzling your cheek inside his padded jacket while he supports your head on his arm and kisses you.

He’s holding you in his arms and kissing you and everything seems so perfect that for a moment, he has to pull away to watch your face and wonder if all of this was real. And though there is a gentle smile on your face, you’re not opening your eyes much. Because you know full well that Renjun’s lips would be back on yours in no time. So you play with his hair as they fall to his forehead and when he kisses you again, you press up into him so he would wrap his arms around you and hold you tighter. He does and he rubs his hands up and down your back and attempts to close his jacket around you.

“Are you cold?” he asks lovingly. You shake your head.

“No. I just want to crawl inside you.” you say, like it’s the most logical thing to be said.

“Creepy.” Renjun remarks but holds you closer still.

“You should be happy you haven’t seen my collection of your hair clippings.” you quip as you nip into the skin of his neck.

“Oh, sweet. That rivals all your used tissues I’ve kept in my shrine at home.”

“Aww, you shouldn’t have.” you coo at him and then lean up to kiss him some more and he laughs. But soon, he pushes the arm that you were using like a pillow up so your face would be closer to his and he could kiss you as deeply as he was truly craving. 

The two of you keep kissing like that till the sky is dark. It was an odd sort of trance, being so lost in one another that neither of you cared about what time it was or how long you had been sitting here, wrapped up in one another. Your phones were zipped away in your bags and you hadn’t checked them even once since you had parked your camping van and set up your tent. It was a slow, peaceful sort of bliss, just sitting by the fire and kissing and kissing with nothing else on your minds but being here like this with one another.

“Renjun?” you say, your voice sounding like it was returning from a deep thought.

“Hmm?” Renjun asks as he combs your hair away from your pretty face.

“You know, I learnt today that a cactus can live anywhere between 10 and 200 years.” you tell him, idly tracing the birthmark on the back of his hand.

Renjun leans in and presses long into your lips. “Yeah?” he replies and watches your face. It seemed hazily focused, like it was trying to catch onto a faraway thought.

“I also learnt that it can take up to 30 years for a cactus to bear flowers.” you say in an introspective, wistful tone.

Renjun looks away to hide his smile. Oh God, you were so cute. “Yeah?” he says again, but it’s getting more and more difficult to keep a serious face.

“Sometimes, a cactus doesn’t flower at all.” you say and then you turn your head to look at him like you’ve resurfaced from your thoughts and are now in the moment. Renjun’s grin grows wider. “Renjunnn…” you whine and so he has no choice but to tenderly hold your cheeks in his palms and stroke your hair.

“What?” he chuckles.

“You said you’d think you’re worthy of my forgiveness when the cactus bears flowers.” you whine again and Renjun has to plant a loving kiss to your forehead.

“Is that what I said?” he chuckles some more and then leans in to kiss the anxious realization away from your lips. 

“Renjun.” you pout and Renjun laughs and takes his beautiful, whiny, kindhearted girlfriend in his arms and hopes that his hold could chase away all the worries from her pretty, brilliant mind.

He kisses you because his heart can’t bear it any longer. How did he manage to hold a heart like yours in his hand?

Renjun feels an indescribable amount of happiness. Like he wasn’t sure that you were really here with him, in his arms, all for him to hold, with no worry or burden afflicting him. The happiness is so immense and so incredible and so heavy that for a moment, he feels it suffocating him. He wonders if he deserved this kind of happiness.

But right in the next moment, he stops himself. He knew how easy it was to relapse into those tempting, lonesome thoughts. But if there was anything that therapy was teaching him, it was that of course he deserved happiness. 

Though right now, holding you in his arms, this happiness was choking him. He felt like his heart was swelling and pressing against his lungs and his chest couldn’t bear it and he could no longer breathe. 

“Y/N…” he exhales, holding you back so he can look at your face and you could look up into his. He pauses to gather another breath. Then, he just says it. “I love you.”

And doing so does the trick. He feels his chest slowly getting lighter, because this is what it had been bursting with. Now, he’s told you. Now, it can be unburdened.

You look up at him and there is nothing but a sparkle in your eye, and tenderness in your smile. For a while, you say nothing, just looking upon his eyes like that. “Thank you.” you finally whisper back at him.

Renjun pauses for a moment. But then, he relaxes. This was okay. You didn’t have to say it back right away. Renjun was ready to give you as much time as you needed. So he presses his lips into your forehead once again till he feels you laughing against him. He pulls back in confusion and you grab at the lapel of his parka.

“Huang Renjun…” you say and he looks back at you with uncertainty, “... I love you, too.”

And Renjun can’t help it if he kisses you too hard. He can’t help it that he’s squeezing you too tight. He wouldn’t care if the night brightens back into morning and the morning fades back into night. He was going to hold you just like this for the rest of his life. 

So he lays you down and kisses you deeper, like he wanted to make up for all the time he had lost. All the time in his life when he hadn’t known you. All the time he had known you and didn’t let himself have you. He was going to make up for it all. And as he zips the tent up and shields you from the rest of the world, he wonders if he could spend all of his days just like this. Holding you and loving you and knowing that you loved him back; and if he could, today was a damn good day to start.

The fire slows to a simmer till all that’s left are embers that keep being carried away by the breeze. But the two of you remain inside, in your own world, happy that you had found one another, happy that you could finally have one another. Happy that you could hold one another and say that you loved each other and have nothing in the world hold you back, not now, not ever.

You were Y/N and Renjun, Renjun and Y/N, two names that were forever intertwined because that’s how people would call you now. You were the couple that belonged so perfectly with one another that people would wonder if you’d been together for years. And any time someone with a burning curiosity would come up to you and ask,

“So, where did you guys meet?” you would just look at one another, smile and say, “Well, we met in online class.”

~THE END

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

[infinitegalahad]

GENERATION KILL: COMFORTING THERE PARTNER

"This is just me formally submitting a request for that gk boys offering their own forms of comfort fic/ headcanon/ thoughts wtevr. Lol just as a reminder. 😀"@theboardwalkbody

Gif Credit: @ymagor

A/N: You're wish is my command, homes❣️ Here's a little change of pace! @theboardwalkbody inspired this post (and asked it!), so thanks for the Inspo friend! 🤩 I'm doing this for BoB and TP because I'm going through a slight writer's block and instead of thinking about long descriptions, I just wanna so head canons that get a little out of hand. I hope this isn't too ooc😔 Reader has *inserted mental illness* btw, it's up for interpretation! ALSO GN! READER! Enjoy!

Taglist: @theboardwalkbody @contrabandhothead

Masterlist

NATE FICK-

Nate's a calculated person. He can see the patterns in people, things, etc. Like how his father's eyebrows wrinkle when he's excited, or when his mother likes to prep a meal from vegetables to the main course. So when you're happy, sad, whatever-he knows it, and you don't even have to tell him.

He'll come home and see you. He knows that you've heard him calling you're name, but you don't move. He looks all over the house and finds you inside of your tub, just sitting there with no response. The water is running, and your clothes and hair are soaked.

So in an attempt to not disrupt your peace, Nate climbs in and sits next to you. You look over and he's stares at you. Just as your about to speak, he beats you to it.

"I'll get you a towel and some clothes."

And then, he just leaves. You hear the door quietly shut, and you blink for a few seconds. What the hell just happened? It snapped you out of your depressive trance. Now instead of feeling sad-you just were confused.

So you hear the door lightly open again and then close. After a few more minutes of soaking, you get out and see a towel and a set of clothes that are most certainly not yours. It's Nate's Dartmouth Lacrosse sweater and a pair of underwear-he knows you too well.

So you exit the bathroom and you see Nate, putting two cups down of you're favorite tea

And he's got that face. You know the face were he's like ☹️

"Hey, c'mere."

The two of you climb into bed with eachtoher. He throws one of those ugg blankets over you. You rest his head in his chest and he pats your head. There's a silence, until Nate says, "Do you wanna walk about it."

Normally, you'd say no and he'd read you a book you're reading or hold you as you cry, but this time, it's different.

"Yeah, I do. You won't judge, right?"

Nate tilts you chin up, and he's got a tired smile on his face.

"Why would I?"

BRAD COLBERT-

Brad may appear horrible with emotions and reading the room...in which he isn’t

Okay, scratch that. He tries to understand them, it’s just hard for him to give advice and use words to comfort you. He feels like he’s walking on glass, But sometimes, you just need him psychically more then anything.

When you storm out of a room when Chaffin makes a comment on your weight, Brad takes a few minutes to think what he should do.

Normally, he’d just leave you be, but he’s gotta do something. Getting up, he follows you down the hallway. You’re not far, and he’s calling you’re name.

You stop in the hallway, wiping the tears coming down toye face. Brad turns you around with his hands on your shoulder. He’s got a blank face on as he looks at you, seeing your red face and the tears.

While you sob and stutter, he fixes the collar of your shirt, tucks your hair behind your ear, which is normal. He likes to neaten you up to make you feel better.

But he starts to use his thumb, wiping the tears coming down your face. You shocked as he cups your face, making you look into those icy cold eyes. He looks like the Iceman, cold and emotionless, but what he says very Brad.

“You’re beautiful.”

Then he pulls you into a tight grasp. He’s a whole foot taller then you, and you like the way he snakes his hands around his waist and slightly lifts off you your feet. His sheer presence is intimating, but for you; comforting. 

RAY PERSON-

THIS MAN. although a hick with a big mouth, he does know when to shut up and can read you’re emotions like the back of his hand.

He can just see the sadness swelling in your eyes and the way you pick at the foot at your plate and avoid all of needs for cuddles in bed. Heck, it’s making Ray sad.

So he does what he does best-not shutting up, well-about things he likes about you.

“Man! Look at my hot girlfriend/wife! There reading books by the liberal media, total smartie here! Oh! And they have a degree from-“

Ray will also beg for to your attention and follows you around like a puppy. Like you’ll be sitting on the couch and he’ll come rest his head on your lap. You ignore him, but he starts to twist and quote random movies so you finally give in.

Is Ray annoying? Yes. But did he make you smile? Also yes.

Also Ray is a cook, and knows all of your favorite meals. Of course, he sets the table, lights a few Mantown candles (yes there real google them), and comes to serve your meal with two plates.

“The most beautiful man/woman I have ever seen, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the Avril to my Bizzy D-you’re hot pockets.”

It makes you laugh, which makes Ray happy. He feeds off of that attention. You sit in Ray’s lap, eating hot pockets, and watching The Best Damn Tour. You lean on Ray’s shoulder, and he leans right back.

POKE ESPERA-

Alexa play Whatta Man’ by Salt-N-Peppa BECAUSE! WHAT! A! MAN!

Poke is one tough mofo. He embodies the meme of “Good morning to my beautiful wife/husband and child everybody else get fucked”.

But like every baddie; baddie’s gotta have soft spots for there bitches. He has two; you and his daughter. And oh god he’s love the two of more then anything in the world.

Poke knows you and his daughter well enough. His daughter first notices that your not as enthusiastic and bubbly, and then she tells Poke. But Poke already knows because he’s observant and very in touch with his emotions.

So when he’s a work; he thinks and does a lot of self reflection. He wonders why you’re upset. Did he cause it? What can he do to make it better? He asks all the guys for advice, and even his own daughter.

An idea strikes! Poke’s got a lot of anger, so his therapist told him to express his emotions by journalling. But Poke learns that it helps him get everything out of system, so he’s a secret writer. Heck, he even likes poetry; and would kill anyone if they’d find out.

While off at work, small letters start to appear across you’re house. Some are long, some are short, but there sweet and make you’re day.

“I held the stars in my arms wen I held you”

“I can’t wait to kiss you.”

“Your eyes stole all of my words away”

And the covers of the notes are done by Poke’s daughter, covered in glitter and Lisa Frank stickers.

You confront Poke about this “mysterious pen pal” and Poke is like “I mean, your lips do sound tempting”

You know it’s Poke, and he knows it, but there’s something about the mystery that is very romantic.

WALT HASSER-

Here comes our favourie country pumpkin

Now let me say. This man LOVES you more then anything the world

Doesn’t wanna show you off (but he does)

So when you’re the slightest bit sad, Walt is even sadder then you are

Walt is someone that lives to receive attention, and also he’s someone that likes to give it. Especially to the love of his life!

Walt gives you things you actually need, and nothing that is materialistic. Growing up, his parents had a healthy relationship, and the apple clearly doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Waits on you hand and foot. A back massage? Done. A fuzzy blanket? Right on it! A specific burger from a joint that is thirty minutes away at three in the morning? Walt’s driving like a manic just for you. You have the man’s undivided attention.

“Walt?”

He stops whatever he’s doing and runs over, getting on his knees, “Yeah, what’s up baby?”

“Can you sing the song? Y’know, our song?”

Walt nods his head, now an eager puppy, and gets his gutair to play the song he wrote especially for you. And this is making me realize how painfully single I am oh my

RUDY REYES-

Rudy has an iv of respect woman/men juice. He always understands the assignment-and desires extra credit.

So whenever you’re down in the dumps, Rudy will drop everything and drag you into the car to go walk on his favorite trail. It’s ten miles long, but Rudy is a fitness freak.

First, you hate doing it. But the more you talk these long walks, the more you begin to enjoy it.

Sometimes there silence. Rudy won’t speak force you to talk. Talking is stressful, and Rudy will wait until you’re ready. The two of you holds hands, and Rudy has such a calming presence. It’s really hard to get angry at him.

You finally speak and tell Rudy you’re problems, and he listens and doesn’t interrupt. He’s got a hand on you’re lower back, or on your thigh. He’s basically you’re emotional support teddy bear and will always be a lending ear, or a total cuddle monster.

Rudy has the best advice as well. It’s always some yoga shit, but damn, those breathing  exercises do actually help.

EVAN “Q-TIP” STAFFORD-

Oh Q-Tip. My feral goblin son😭

I love him, but sometimes-things can fly over his head.

But when you start to ignore him and hide away from him, he begins to notice. And he HATES IT.

Like Christianson will ask him if he’s okay and he’ll literally quote a 2pac song and be like,

“I would drop all my girls for you, Walk barefoot 'round the world for you, Fly around like the birds for you, Thats why I wrote these words for you..”

Lilley is like “Brah we gotta help a homie out”

So the three stooges create Lovegate. The mission? to make Q-Tip’s partner happier.

Q-Tip is very artistically inclined. So with Christenson’s editing skills and Lilley’s camera, Q-Tip writes you a song and does a whole music video.

The man rents out a movie theatre venue just to show you. Of course, you’re blown away. It’s horrible and you can taste the autotone, BUT IT’S THE EFFORT THAT COUNTS. and q-tip has that smile on. you know what i’m talking about!

Doc Bryan walks in on the two of you making out and is pissed since all he wanted to do was see the re-screening of Bridemaids but NO, Q-Tip just had to rent out a theatre to show his partner a music video about them and then make out.

He see’s Lilley, who’s recording and asks to interview what Doc’s opinion on the music video, and this is what he’s says.

“I think my ears bled, but thank fuck those two aren’t acting like emo’s.”

DOC BRYAN-

The gif has a purpose. Trust me. SPEAKING OF THE MAN OF THE HOUR

Bryan, like Poke, is a very observant guy. He’s an angry motherfucker, and even a little insensitive, but ever since dating you; he’s tried to change.

He hates the world. People are shitty, and it makes him feel shitty that you’re sad because when you feel shitty, he’s in a shitter mood then he’s usually in

Knowing that his words might sound a little harsh, Byran knows how to distract you. Without words. After all, he didn’t work out for nothing.

Long hugs are you’re thing. The two of you will run into eachother, find a private place, and he’ll just wrap his arms around you. His big arms are protective, and he’s warm, and you just sink into him.

Sometimes, you’ll fall asleep. Byran sometimes will fall asleep with you, other times he’ll gently lay you down and put a blanket with a gentle forehead kiss.

When you cry in his arms, he’ll wipe the tears away. He can feel them against his arm, and he doesn’t know what to do. Crying girls/guys are not his speciality.

But when you squeeze his arm back, to let you know what your there and that you love him, Byran will freeze. He has no idea what to next with words. He’ll put his hand over yours, and turns out; it works well.

After this is all over, he’ll check up on you and ask you simply if you’re okay. You respond with a smile. Byran isn’t one for smiles, but for you, he shows a subtle smile back. Just to let you know.

[lxstfulbeans]

May I request Dio, joseph, and mama bruno headcanons of them having a crush on black reader but they don’t know how to approach them? Thank uuu!🥺👉🏾👈🏾

I’ll be doing part 2 Jospeh! But, I know I looooove some Brunoooo!

HEADCANON: having a crush on black reader, can’t figure out the right approach.

---3. 2. 1. ACTION!---

DIO [Modern Era]:

Him? Dio? Having a cRuSh?

AND not knowing how to fuckin’ talk to you?

Oh hell no.

Surely, he had done something UTTERLY evil. like the mf-ing bully he is.

Like being fake as shit towards some people which you could obviously smell the bullshit from a mile away, thinking he was doin sum.

When he saw that concerned, almost bothered look on your face, he knew he was fucking up.

You were too beautiful, too PERFECT. He had to have you to himself.

He started to send gifts to your house, sometimes to your workplace. Hoping that would rIgHtfUlLy earn your affections.

They were flattering but, you almost saw it as cowardly that he didn’t just— approach you on his own??

Like bitch tf is you scared for- 💀

The time finally came for him to ask you out, about fuckin’ time though-

Dio stopped by your house, definitely at the worst time though.

It was the early morning, your day off especially. You were so irritated when you heard a loud ass POUNDING at yo door.

In your bonnet, tank top, and pink pajama bottoms, you stomped to the door to see who it was.

“It is I, Dio!”

You wanted to punch him, if he wasn’t so damn cute with his little bouquet of roses and a basket of your favorite snacks.

“Lately, I’ve been told that sending those precious gifts.. isn’t quite the way to earn your love. Now I, Dio, wish to take you out for dinner tonight!”

You couldn’t help but snicker. This was oddly cute yet so damn dumb for someone so cunning.

Without another word, you jump to press a kiss to his cheek before taking the new gifts.

“Aight then. Pick me up tonight. But, don’t just pull up without tellin’ a bitch. Got me out here lookin’ crazy!”

After that, y’all have been a power couple ever since. He definitely likes to show you off.

Joseph Joestar [1939]:

This goofy ass- 💀

He’s a well-known flirt, but he definitely had his sights set on you!

Trust me, he’s seen plenty of beautiful women but BABY-

He was definitely feeling that Cupid’s arrow piercing his heart when he first saw you.

The two of you were introduced through Smokey, who was your childhood friend at the time.

You couldn’t thank Joseph enough for helping him out with those bogus cops.

You two became friends very quickly.

Although the two of you would hang out 95% of the time, it didn’t stop the trouble that often came by.

He was always down to fight for you or do some goofy shit to make you smile.

But, he was so scared of asking you out.

It wasn’t because of the people, fuck them.

But, it was because he thought he wouldn’t be good enough for you. That he’d crash before the journey even started.

He often flexed when you were around, was more flirty with you more than others, and even lent his big ass jacket when you were chilly.

You’d often pick up on his advances, his hard crush on you not so much of a secret anymore.

When the time came that he actually decided to ask you out, best believe that he went all out for you when he came to your house one night.

I’m talking suit and tie, limo ride, buying you hella gifts.

“[Y/N]!! Ever since I’ve laid eyes on you, I knew you had to be mine! Come on a date with me!”

This had to be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen this boy do. How could you say no? Especially after he delivered the full package!

You chuckled as you thought about your answer, your cheeks hot.

“Okay boy. Lemme get ready!”

You’ve never seen a more wide smile as he jumped for joy, almost messing up his suit.

When y’all started dating, he never failed to make you smile. Even when he’d annoy the shit outta you, you couldn’t stay mad at the fool.

Bruno Bucciarati:

This has got to be my FAVORITE character of part 5 kakldlfmfnwjwkf— DAFUQ IS HE SO FOINE FORRR 💀 😭

Okay, okay. Let’s say that you joined Passione for XYZ reason and you were assigned to Bruno’s team.

You meet everybody at the restaurant and best believe that my boy is in complete AWE.

Sure, he was aware of another stand user who passed that DUMBASS lighter test- But, he ain’t expect a fine queen to be stuck with his rowdy ass team.

He couldn’t even count the millions of times where he bonked Mista in the head for flirting with you nonstop when he was questioning you, even going to the point where he zipped that mofo mouth shut.

Like on god, let him SPEAK- 🗣

Everyone, except you, had the idea that he had a little crushy crush on you because of how gentle and guiding he was towards you.

He was a true gentleman, praising you for hard work, even stared at and admired your beauty for a long period of time without realizing nor with you looking.

He was definitely attracted to how determined, headstrong, and smart you were. Whenever the team got into a pickle, you knew just how to get ‘em out.

Whenever you two hung out, he’d take you on tours, go on walks with you, maybe even go to dinner every now and then. Everytime you stared at an item you really wanted but couldn’t get because of expenses, he’d secretly buy it and drop it off at your doorstep for you to find. But, he loved golden hour.

When the sun was setting and it hit your skin just right, glowing from that precious light. He could feel his heart pound, coming to terms with his feelings for you.

There weren’t any missions or anything like that, so he took this opportunity to take you on a boat ride. He wanted this confession to be perfect, no distractions.

As the sun was setting, he basically got a promise ring. His heart racing as anxiety set in, what if you rejected him? He wouldn’t know unless he shot that shot.

“[Y/N], not only have you been pleasant to work and fight alongside with, you’ve been such a darling friend. Your smile shines brighter than stars, your skin glows so beautifully in the setting sun. You make me feel so alive, bella. Please, be mine.. your heart will be treasure in my hands.”

Okay, you had to admit. That was so poetic ass shit right there, you couldn’t help but feel sudden warmth in your cheeks as you stared at him.

He was fine ass hell, a goddamn gentleman, the nicest man in Italy, AND had some power?

Yep, he had you.

With a giggling nod, a smile of relief comes to his face as he slides the promise ring on. Shit, y’all were already official but he might as well put an ACTUAL ring on it.

“Damn! This must’ve cost some real cash money... I don’t think I can ever get used to you spoiling me, Bruno.”

Before the ride was over, best believe that he took tons of pictures of you while the sun was still making you glow.

[the-ghost-bird]

A Part of Me

Bellamy Blake x Reader

Summary: Two leaders of the Skaikru are ready to live and die for their people but what does it take to confess how they feel about each other?

Word Count: 4246

Warnings: Canon level violence, jealousy, anger, fighting, smut, switch, a little rough then very intimate, cumplay, filth, fluff, angst, softness, care, longing, pining, so many romantic feels it doesn't even look like I wrote this.

A/N: I literally couldn't do anything before getting this fic out of my system. Y'all, this fic says a lot more about my love for Bellamy than my actual writing skills LOL. This is my husband, idc what anyone says. And the guava wood info is backed up by yours truly who once made my own bow and arrows. Ah, good times.

Anyways, is this a new fic while I'm on hiatus? Yes. Does that mean I'm off hiatus? No.

Also there's music rec for this fic because y'all just need to feel this, put it on loop and vibe with me mofos.

The rustle of vegetation echoes into the night, uncomfortably loud as Bellamy walks through it. Self-awareness heightens at the contrasting steps of the woman beside him, calculating and silent.

“How do you manage to be so quiet?” he asks, the anxious annoyance in his voice hiding the relief that she could adapt so quickly to such a harsh environment.

“I’m not that quiet, you’re just loud,” she responds, trying to contain a smug smile and focus on the current mission.

“Then I guess you’re going to have to teach me your tricks, Y/N/N.”

“Maybe, Bell. Maybe.”

“Promise?” He teases. Y/N finally looks at him with an affirmative grin before changing the topic.

“Listen, we gathered enough stones to make the arrowheads and it’s getting late. I say we go back to camp and try to get wood some other time.”

“You sure? We can go further, the guava trees are close and it's gonna take too much of our time to get all the way out here again later on,” he speaks pensively before taunting. “And weren’t you the one fighting over how much we need that specific type of wood?”

“Hey, I’m just worried about how we're going to defend ourselves if we run out of resources to make bullets. We need to adapt, Bell,” she defends before mulling over their options. “Eh, but you’re right, let’s keep going. Like i said before, guava wood is strong and malleable, so it will be easier to make bows than with any other wood around, and at the same time they’ll make durable weapons. Whoever said the meek inherit the earth must’ve never heard of natural selection.”

“Wait,” he whispers, on high alert. “Something’s wrong.”

The two continue going deeper into the woods, choosing to risk dealing with the dangers that come with dusk. Y/N nerves tone down slightly once the moon is visible, and in a brief moment of distraction, she allows herself to become entranced with the moonlight filtering through the leaves. She's brought back into focus when Bellamy unexpectedly clasps onto her shoulder, stopping them both in their tracks.

Before Y/N's senses can fully tune in and register what made Bellamy agitated, he throws her the floor with him.

He looks back to see a spear sunken on the ground where Y/N had stood. His andrenaline spikes, and he simply doesn't have the time to feel the blood running down his arm from where the spear grazed him.

The man tackles her to the ground, striking her with a punch that splits the skin of her cheek. But the element of surprise doesn't keep Y/N down for long. She manages to put some distance in between them and shoots the grounder in the head before he can cause any more damage. As soon as the body hits the floor, four others appear from behind him. Y/N pulls the trigger, only to come to a dreading realization.

“Grounders!” He yells before they both raise their guns to a group that emerges from the shadows. They're effective in fight; one covers while the other reloads, working back to back, and keeping this dynamic going as if its second nature.

That is until one of the grounders manages to get too close to Y/N

“I’m out of ammo, Bell!” she yells before pulling out a blade from her holster. Using her position, she kicks the closest man off his feet and uses her speed to slide in between the two others. The blade cuts the back of a man’s knee and severs the achilles tendon of another, bringing both down to Y/N's level before she slashes their throats.

Bellamy catches up, shooting the rest of the grounders in the head before turning to the last remaining enemy. The man runs towards him, and Bellamy pulls the trigger

But no shots fire.

Fists rise in preparation but before anything can happen, something flies past Bellamy and sinks into the grounder’s chest. The man falls back, immobile, with an arrow buried in his heart.

When Bellamy turns, Y/N's bloody image greats him, holding a bow that belonged to one of the dead.

“See? I told you it’s all about adapting, Bell.” she utters with a faint smile as the brutal aftermath of the battle starts to settle in. Bellamy doesn't smile back and run towards her to check where so much of the blood coating her came from. His eyes are wide as he works with his hands, scanned Y/N and trying to make sense of where the bleeding was coming from.

“It’s not mine. Turns out cutting someone’s throat isn’t the cleanest job in the world,” she clarifies, pulling a rag from her pocket and cleaning her face from splattered blood. Bellamy still wears a panicked look, leading Y/N to reassure. “I’m not hurt, Bell.” she confirms once again beforetaking his hands in hers. The gesture is enough for him to pull her into a tight hug.

The two make quick, careful work in their returning, armed with blades and other weapons they picked up from the grounders. When they finally reach. camp, they are met by Octavia, who was getting ready to search for the late duo.

"You know, O? You make knife fights seem way too easy." She greets, walking in Octavia's direction, who in turn takes in Y/N's bloody clothes.

"I take it our sparring sessions did you good. You followed my advice?"

"Yeah - Aim for the throat. Slash, don't stab. Make it deep." Y/N recites before Octavia embraces her in bear hug, letting out a deep muffled breath.

"I would take you as my second if I could."

"Ha, yeah right," She teases, pulling away and giving a knowing look. "Don’t start getting cocky on me, girl. I'm older than you, and you might be better with a blade but I'll always beat you at grappling."

"You can't grapple if you can't get close enough."

"Oh, you wouldn't see me coming unless I wanted you to."

Bellamy watches them go back and forth, unable to contain a satisfied smirk. Y/N treats Octavia as her younger sister, playful and competitive yet always protective. Before their banter can turn into a sparring session, an approaching voice makes itself knwon.

“Bellamy!” A girl calls out before running into the man with a force that nearly knocks him off his feet.

Y/N catches Octavia rolling her eyes, both of them knowing exactly who that girl is; one of the few people in camp who tries to sleep their way into a leadership position, uncaring of hard work or proving themselves to their people. Y/N raises her brow at the sight of the girl smothering Bellamy with a hug.

“What happened? Do you need me to help you with anything?” The girl speaks in a high pitched that easily gets onto Octavia's nerves. Bellamy lets out a dry “No, I’m fine.” before getting suffocated by another embrace.

“I missed you.” she whines.

Y/N finally gets tired of the scene, giving Octavia a look that warns her to behave before heading to her tent. Bellamy immediately takes notice of Y/N distancing herself and politely pushes the clinging girl away.

“Yeah, uh- I need to debrief so I’ll to talk to you later.” he dismisses before jogging towards Y/N's tent. He catches up to her, watching her beside her tent, washing the blood stains from her face.

“Clarke’s gotta take care of that arm before it gets infected, Bell.” she advises without facing him.

“Clarke’s busy,” the lie spills easily from his lips, a lie he's used to telling. “Could you help me out?” Y/N answers by drying herself and entering the tent. While searching for her medical kit, she asks.

“Who was that?”

Bellamy feels a rush of embarrassment. He didn’t expect the question, but being prepared wouldn't have helped when the answer was that he didn’t remember.

“Uh... Stephanie?” he guesses, head lowering and eyes casting downwards. “Kathy? I'm not sure.”

“Hey, no need to be ashamed." Y/N's words cause the man behind her to lift his gaze. "We all need to relax sometimes, I’m guilty of it myself. There are some guys here at camp whose name I definitely should be remembering, so I can’t exactly judge you.”

Bellamy would be lying if he said jealousy didn’t burn in his chest, that dismay didn't flood his senses. But she wasn’t his, she never was.

Not even during that one night.

They never spoke of the night they had mere days after landing on Earth, of what happened when they felt free and invincible, oblivious to how dangerous the ground could be. Bellamy would be lying if he said Y/N’s moans didn’t fill his dreams, that he wasn't haunted by the ghost of her tongue sliding against his skin. But after they understood the true implications of being leaders, they left that night to the past.

Y/N didn’t belong to him, though by now he felt he couldn't belong to anyone but her. There were parts of him that were only for her eyes, for her to know, witness, experience. His weaknesses and vulnerabilities were strongly guarded, yet she could reach them with such ease.

“I hope you weren’t fast to forget my name after we got together.” he speaks with a weak chuckle, a horrible attempt to defuse the tension between them.

Y/N looks at him with nothing but a raised brow, surprised and intrigued as to why he would mention that night. Forcing herself to brush it aside, she walks up to him with the medical kit in hand.

“You got cut in the upper arm, right?” she checks, but Bellamy responds by gently taking the kit from her. 

Let me take care of you first, his actions say.

Her expression protests, You’re worse than me, but he doesn't care.

They often have these silent conversations, which is apparently the consequence of two people spending so much time together trying to take care of their people. Pulling out cotton and antiseptic, Bellamy places a hand to the side of Y/N’s face to keep her still while he cleans the split skin of her cheek. Y/N winces at the sting, and Bellamy sooths her with the caress of his thumb.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers, brows furrowed in concentration.

“Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt that much.”

“Not just for that. I should’ve listened to you when you told me to get back to camp. I just-” he hesitates, losing his words. Bellamy isn't one to falter, so Y/N presses.

“You just what?”

“It’s... It's just hard for me to know when I should be acting in favor of your safety or the safety of our people..."

Trying to digest those words, Y/N attempts to meet his gaze, but he has laser focus on the proper cleaning of her wound.

"... Especially when a part of me wants to put you above everyone else."

That was a confession if she’s ever heard one, a dangerous one. Y/N battles the sudden influx of emotions, torn between wanting to give in and fearing how that would affect them as leaders.

Fortunately, hers was a small wound, so Bellamy finishes by applying an antibiotic salve before taking a selfish second to caress her jaw with the back of his hand and gift her with a relieved smile. With Y/N finally cared for, Bellamy relaxes and shrugs off his jacket, sitting on her bed so she can see the wound on his arm.

She looks at him as if asking Can I touch? and he nods in approval.

After analyzing the cut, Y/N uses a wet towel to clean the dry blood surrounding it and proceeds to prepare needle and thread. Grabbing moonshine from the side of her bed, Bellamy takes a swing, hands forming into a fist and inhaling to prepare for the pain that's to come. He's starting to lose count of how many of his wounds she's stitched.

Y/N knows that no amount of familiarity with a needle could make anyone hate it any less, so she places her hand above his and gives an encouraging nod - a reassurance and a silent Thank you for having my back. Once needle pierces skin, Y/N decides to distract Bellamy with a truth she should’ve already voiced.

“You didn’t make that decision alone. I agreed to it, led us all the way there in the first place. We’re both at fault but we work with the best knowledge we have and we always put our people above all.” Those are her final words before she finishes stitching and bandaging his arm.

But that always was a lie.

There were parts of her selfish enough to want to prioritize the man in front of her. But people in a position such as theirs couldn’t allow themselves to be selfish.

Just as they finish, Jasper enters the tent with a glass of moonshine in hand and a slight sway to his walk.

“Hey, there’s a party going on and you guys are missing it. You joining or what?” he invites with a devious smile.

Bellamy looks to Y/N, accepting her nod and answering. “Sure, we’ll be right there. And next time, give the heads up before entering someone’s tent.”

“Okay, bossy belly.” Jasper mocks as he leaves. Y/N couldn’t contain her laughter, but after giving herself a minute, she goes back to being professional.

"You can go ahead, I need to change into fresh clothes.”

“Yeah, me too. See you at the bonfire?” He asks with hopeful look on his face, standing up from the bed.

To his surprise, Y/N hugs him.

It's not one of the thousands hugs they've shared, the recurrent 'thank god you’re alive.' No, this was 'I’m doing this just because', something Bellamy was strangely unused to.

“Sure, meet you there.”

After changing, Bellamy sits at the bonfire with his people while he waits for Y/N. She takes a bit longer than he expected, so he felt excites when his senses pick up a presence lingering behind him. His heart races when the person hugs him, a tender feeling daring take over and he can't help but smile. This is definitely something he can get used to.

Bellsmy only realizes who the person hugging him truly is when they speak at the same time he catches sight of Y/N at the other side of the bonfire.

“Hey, Bell.” Stephanie or Tiffany or whatever the fuck her name is whispers into his ear.

Y/N watches him attentively, wearing a stone-cold expression as she sits down. That finally snaps Bellamy into action, getting the girl off him and pulling her to the side where they can't be heard.

“Don’t call me that. Look, we had fun but we agreed that it was a one night thing. So I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but stop it. I’m done.” He doesn't give the girl any time to react, immediately returning to the bonfire to check if Y/N had left.

But she was still there.

Sat next to Dario.

Bellamy’s blood boils at the sight of Y/N’s hand caressing his inner thigh, at her whispering something into his ear. Everyone else is too drunk to notice Y/N gently take Dario's earlobe into her mouth, or to witness her groping the man beside her while staring straight at Bellamy.

Bellamy wished it was just jealousy, that this was an irrational feeling because of what he once had but jealousy is just the tip of the iceberg.

He feels hurt. Like he lost her just when he had the courage to voice a fraction of the feelings that barely fit into his chest. The walk from where he stood to where Y/N sat was a blur, Bellamy’s mind barely registering his request once he reaches her.

“We need to talk.” his tone leaves no room for argument as he shoots a deadly look at Dario. Though it was nothing quite as deadly as the cold eyes Y/N greets Bellamy once she stands up. She walks past him and he follows as always, entering her tent the second time this night.

He sees her pour moonshine in a cup, her back to him, always facing away whether it was to cover him in battle or because she couldn’t look at him. His brain gets caught up with worry, She shouldn’t be drinking right now.

“Do us both a favor and don’t lie to me, Bellamy.” She starts before downing a shot and turning to him. Her confrontational stance and the deliberate choice to not use the affectionate nickname she chose for him makes his words disappear once again. He doesn't want to fight, to feel this hurt or cause her any pain. But before he can voice that, Y/N accuses.

“I guess honesty is too hard for you, huh?”

“What you saw back at the bonfire wasn’t what you think it is. I thought the person behind me was you.” He argues immediately. “And I meant everything I’ve said to you.”

“Oh please. Stop lying. So what, you were telling the truth when you said you cared too much about my safety? Enough that it clouds your judgment as a leader?”

“Yes.”

“How about the dozens of times you told me Clarke was too busy to patch you up?” Bellamy’s expression is enough of a response to change Y/N's tone, voice still furious but revealing the hurt she tries to keep deep down. “Do you know what I think, Bellamy? I think you don’t like to be alone.”

“That’s not true, I only lied about that because I know you try to solve everything on your own,” he confesses, this time not backing down. “You think I don’t know about the times you’ve lied about how hurt you really were? The times you stitched yourself on the brink of passing out because you try to make everyone’s burden lighter to carry? I lied because I wanted to be there for you.”

“Do not make this about me, this is about you! You’re terrified of being alone so you’ll stick around and pretend like you care until you get bored and, and need to find the next interesting thing.”

“It’s not true and you know it,” he implores, watching anger tear at her.

“I can’t believe I let myself believe in you, that I let you sweet talk your way into my head.”

“I’ve only wanted you.” his voice is controlled, confident as he approaches her.

“Stop lying.”

“It’s only you, Y/N/N. No one else.”

“STOP LYING TO ME, BELLAMY!” the demand louder than before, emphasized with a push to his chest.

“I’m not.” he swears, holding her hands and keeping them to him. “It’s only you, it’s always been you.”

Silence stretches out for long tortuous seconds. Y/N stares at Bellamy hesitantly, afraid to believe until he can see the choice in her expression.

“Fuck you,” she mutters, bringing him down by the shirt into a rough kiss he immediately returns. Y/N bites his lip, kissing the side of his mouth and moving onto the weak spot of his neck. Bellamy lets go of her hands and feels her shove at his jacket, exposing skin and latching her mouth onto places he’s been haunted by since that first night. He wears a dizzy smile, hearing her mumbling in between biting and sucking at his skin.

“That fucking bitch.” A lick to his neck. 

“...not hers to touch.” A bruising suck at his pulse. 

“…swear to god if I see her hands on you again.” A punishing bite to his shoulder that’s littering with teeth marks.

Y/N pushes him onto the bed and he leans back on his elbows, watching as she takes off his pants and underwear. She returns by flattening her tongue, licking a straight line up his cock. Bellamy lets out a cracked moan at the unexpected move and Y/N quickly removes her own clothing.

She dips her fingers inside herself and shoves them into his mouth, his head spinning at her taste. Y/N watches him suck eagerly before sinking to her knees to lick at the precum that gathered on the tip of his cock. Bellamy lets a final gasp leave his lips at the feeling of her sucking at the skin of his inner thighs. Calling to her, he grabs her by the hair and tries to clear his head.

“Fuck. Ah, holy fuck. I can still taste you.” he pants. Taking a second to ground himself, he takes Y/N’s face into his hands, pushing back her hair and leaning his forehead onto hers. “Calm down, Y/N/N. Calm down. I know you’re still mad but I want things to be different this time. I wanna us to take our time… I want to feel you.”

Y/N can still feel her veins pulsing under her skin. She shudders at the intimacy he’s asking of her but nods in approval.

“I want to feel you inside me.” she purrs, the harshness of her tone disappearing but the want still there.

Bellamy sits her in his lap, puts two fingers into his mouth, wetting before slowly guiding them inside her and going straight for the g-spot. He strokes slowly but firmly, building onto the tension that’s starting to break her resolve crumble. He keeps her head in place, swallows the dazed look in her eyes as she gives in to the feeling more and more. The stimulation is enough to keep her on the edge but never go over it.

Y/N loses her ability to sit straight, gripping onto Bellamy’s hair and latching her mouth to his collarbone while she lazily rides the fingers deep inside her. When she thinks she might finally cum, Bellamy pulls away. His fingers move to her lips and she doesn’t hesitate to lick them clean before being brought into a sloppy kiss.

Y/N pulls back, looking at the hardness in between his legs. When she looks back at Bellamy’s face, they both nod and give each other hazy smiles. Bellamy splays one hand to her lower back, the other lining his cock at her entrance. Both their breaths hitch with anticipation, the tip teasing her, running up and down her slit. Y/N grasps his chin, bringing him into another kiss when he finally pushes in.

“G-god, Bell.” she moans into his mouth, her hand moving to the back of his neck. He sinks slowly, letting her feel every inch, his eyes rolling back with how warm and tight she feels.

When he’s fully inside her, he pauses to let her adjust to the stretch, their lips just barely touching as they breathing each other’s air. Bellamy presses gentle kisses onto her face, going from her forehead to her temple and cheekbone, then her mouth. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, blown pupils full of care and hunger. She responds by cupping his cheeks and bringing him in to suck at his lower lip.

“I lied before.” he rasps, shaking his head and making eye contact, his freckles highlighted by flushed cheeks. “I lied about one thing. About when I said there was only one part of me that wanted to put you above all else. Everything inside me screams to keep you safe. When I see you hurt, I hurt too. I feel this desperation consuming me, telling me I should protect you, telling me to take all the pain so you won’t have to. Every part of me wants to be selfish, to be yours. Only yours.”

“You’re mine now.” she answers, finally letting these feelings out, tangling her fingers in his curls. Y/N hips finally move when she confesses “And I’m yours.”

Their bodies begin working, meeting each other. The movements are slow, yet every bit of friction causes an electric pleasure to continuously ripple through them.

Their rhythm soon speeds up, hands gripping possessively, tongues unforgiving, lips swollen, holding onto each other as if nothing else exists. Their gasps, groans, and whimpers mix together - a string of curses, begging, and calling each others names. Their voices become strangled as they reach their high, trying to be unheard by outsiders yet drunk on the clenching and pulsing and the slam of their hips. Bellamy cums first, Y/N following as soon as she feels him spilling inside her. Overwhelmed with pleasure, she digs her nails into his hips to keep them in place.

“Stay inside stay inside stay inside.” her low sinful pleads against his skin driving him crazy, into a deeper mental space of possessiveness. "Stay inside me, Bell."

"God, you're mine." He growls, desperate. "All mine."

Her orgasm draws his out longer and they both ride it with their heads buried in each other’s necks. They stay in that position for a while, breathless, calming down from their high.

“I never forgot it.” Y/N’s ragged voice takes away Bellamy’s attention on the feeling of his cum trailing down, escaping the both of them.

“W-What?”

“Your name. After our first time. We barely knew each other but I didn’t forget it.”

“I didn’t forget yours either.” he smiles, gently laying her down and bringing a blanket to their shoulders before they both drift away into sleep.

[naomibeetee]

5 Things Writers Need To STOP Doing

Ah, to be a writer.

The world is different for us. We look at every situation, every opportunity, as a daydream, a brainstorm, a new idea for the novel we’ve been slaving away on.

Time has no effect on us, life has no limit, and rules don’t apply! It’s a free world!

Just kidding, that’s definitely not true – at least the rule part, anyway.

While there are a great many rhythms we writers can dance to, there are just some dances we should avoid.

If you are especially new to the writing world, you might not yet know of the things that YOU yourself are doing that can damage your career. You might be sabotaging yourself, and don’t even know it.

And that’s why I’m here!

I’ve come up with 5 things that writers need to STOP doing if they want become successful…even if that success is through publishing, or becoming a stronger writer, or smashing your writing goals like a champ.

Ok, so maybe they aren’t rules, per-say, but some really solid guidelines.  

Without further ado, here are my top 5 tips on things writers need to stop doing:

1. Comparing Yourself To Others

The writing world isn’t a pond, but an ocean. And guess what? It’s full of weirdos just like us!

- New writers working on their first draft

- Tired writers revamping their sixth (or in my case, ninth) draft

- Eager writers shipping out their query letters

- Successful writers pumping out the last book in their amazing trilogy

There are some working with large publishing companies, and others self-publishing their fifth novel. There are some just starting to build their brand, and some with a massive amount of followers.

There are so many of us! It’s amazing!

It’s also easy to feel terrified and intimidated.

The thing is this: we writers need to stick together. The writing business is already cutthroat without us trying to tear one another down, or worse – comparing ourselves to others.

Everyone’s writing style is different and unique in its own quirky, beautiful way. Comparing your work to someone else’s is a useless way to spend your afternoon…and in the end, no one really wins.

Seriously – it’s going to be like comparing apples to apples. Maybe you have two apples, but maybe they are different types, or have completely different flavors, different colors, and are from opposite ends of the world.

The writer ocean is the main reason why we have so many amazing books out there, ripe for the taking (…see what I did there?).

Don’t beat yourself up because you aren’t where you feel like you should be in comparison to your writer friends. You are in the same ocean they are, and you’ll get there too. It just takes time.

2. Downplaying Your Work/Being A Writer

If I had a dime for every time I heard the following:

- I’d write a book too if I had free time

- You want to be a full-time writer? Yeah right!

- Ok, but what’s your real job?

- I think writing a book would be easy

Well, I’d be a rich mofo.

As cliché as this sounds, those people are haters.

I think they mean well.

Maybe? But they have a weird way of showing their support.

They just don’t understand.

Yeah, dang right they don’t.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but writing is hard work! It is sometimes more work than a full-time job. It takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears – both of the metaphorical and literal sense.

Be proud of this! This is your calling, and just because it doesn’t fall within the cookie cutter the world is pressuring you into, so what?

You can’t let what those trolls say about writing dictate how you respond. Don’t shove your hands in your pockets and shuffle your feet as you mumble a nonchalant response. Get in their face. Be loud. Roar.

I said roar, dang it.

Be proud of what you are writing, how far you’ve come, what you’ve all accomplished. Don’t play it off as no big deal. Writing a book is a BIG FREAKING DEAL. How many people do you know have written a book, or anything outside of the essays we were all forced to write in school? Chances are, not a lot.

You need to own it. You need to be the fighter in your own corner. You need to be proud of it, because there might not be a lot of people willing to step up to the plate for you!

3. Editing While You Write

I might be sounding like a broken record by now with this, but I’ll say it again just for fun: DO NOT EDIT AS YOU GO.

Not only will this make the writing process that much longer (and harder), but it can ultimately damage your progress. You’ll be so focused on every grammatical error, every awkward piece of dialogue, or whether you should swap a comma for a semi colon, that your brain isn’t really in Writing Mode, but actually Multi-Task Mode. 

Maybe you are amazing at multi-tasking, but when you are writing (especially your first draft), all your brain should be thinking is, “Writing, writing, writing.” All you should be doing is writing, writing, writing. You can worry about editing later. What is important is forming your thoughts into words, your daydreams into scenes, your brainstorms into dialogue.    

Disclaimer: the only time I’d really ever recommend editing as you go is when you are several drafts deep into your WIP. Your path is a bit clearer, and you are more acquainted with your manuscript. You’ll have the bigger picture in mind at this point. But even then – tread with caution, please and thank you.

And this leads us to #4…

4. Trying To Get That Perfect First Draft

It’s not going to happen. The truth can hurt – but this one shouldn’t.

If you spend every second of your time fighting over every word, every line, every dialogue thread, it is going to take you a long time to finish your novel. Or, worst case scenario, you don’t finish it at all. Sad, right?

The whole point of the first draft is to get all your ideas out of your head and onto paper. The following drafts are for the polishing and refining. If you focus on every single tiny detail, you’ll for sure miss out on the bigger things that need your attention (ie: plot holes, one-dimensional characters, etc).  

It took me four years to finish the first draft of His Blue Eyes, and while some of that time was due to unintentional hiatuses, a good chunk of it was because I felt like I couldn’t continue until each and every word was PERFECT. And you know what? It still sucked bad. The first draft of His Blue Eyes was terrible, and I personally think it was because I was failing to look at the bigger picture. I was too focused on trying to make everything just right, and couldn’t see the problems – the messy plot, the ridiculous subplots, and irrational amount of emotions running rampant – that were right in front of my face.

Get that first draft done. It’ll be a mess, with more grammatical errors and issues than you thought possible – but it’ll be out of your head, and it’ll be something you can work on.

5. Waiting For Inspiration To Strike

If I waited for inspiration to make an appearance every time I sat down to write…I’d never write. Simple as that. I’d sit at my desk for maybe five minutes, say to myself, “Well, I tried!” And then I’d head off to play video games.

Hate to break it to you, but you need to trade in inspiration for discipline.

But if I write without inspiration, my writing will be garbage!

Well, yeah, maybe. But at least you’ll be writing – and that’s something to celebrate.

Shouldn’t you wait for muse to strike?

Absolutely not. Writing is a challenge. You knew this when you decided to write a book. The Muse has a weird-ass schedule, and you might not be on her list of people to visit that day. You need to learn to be ok with writing even if you aren’t feeling particularly inspired.

But it’s hard!

For sure it is! It’s super hard! But this is where discipline and motivation kicks in. You need to be willing to work past whatever block is holding you back. You need to want to write, to hit your goals, to finish your book. Yes, inspiration is helpful, but it is also unreliable. But you know what is reliable? Discipline. Use it. Love it. Set up a writing schedule and stick to it. You’ll eventually find yourself able to write without the fear of: “What if I’m not inspired today??”

 And there you have it!

Writing is one of those things in which you don’t stop learning, growing, creating. It can be a hobby, for self-enjoyment, for others to enjoy – the options are bountiful.

It’s also a job, simple as that – and if you are new to this job, and aren’t familiar with the rules, there are things you may encounter that have the ability to make or break your experience.

These five tips are rhythms you should steer clear from, but as time goes on, you’ll be able to sort through the dances you should or shouldn’t jive in, and you’ll learn what works best for you.

Happy dancing!

 Be sure to tune in every Writerly Wednesday for new writer posts!

Come for the tips.

Stay for the awkward.

Until then,

May your inspiration never cease, and may your ink never smudge. 

~Naomi.bee.tee

✌🏻