#luke at home crying reading ED
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fyeahsmokinhot · 2 years ago
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“The ♥️ wants what the ♥️ wants” - Luke Alvez
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robinade · 27 days ago
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Writing Patterns
rules: share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!
Writing games! Thanks for thinking of me @twilightarc-gm even if it took me forever to follow up 💖 ( also borrowing @yeliuxi's layout)
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the language of flowers [mdzs] Rated T, Jiang Cheng/Wei Wuxian, modern reincarnation au
Wei Ying is getting ready for his first day of work and checking his outfit; it’s a far cry from his normal look.
The Dark Is Lit With Stars [star wars] Rated T, Obi-Wan is unintentionally tainted by the dark side but it allows him to sense the control chips in the clones
The mining complex on Mustafar was eerily silent.
This is not your grave [mdzs] Rated M, Jiang Cheng/Wei Wuxian, arranged marriage au, modern world with cultivation
Jiang Cheng had learned all the arts expected of him to be considered an educated young master.
not the phoenix but the ashes [mdzs] Rated T, Gen, Jiang Cheng centric time travel fix-it
It was a well known fact that cultivators aged slowly, based on the strength of their golden core, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t age at all.
Crave [star wars] Rated E, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Commander Cody, no order 66, post war PWP
Obi-Wan can feel the driving base of the club music almost more than he can hear it.
it's not like you got somewhere to be [our flag means death] Rated E, Absolutely filthy Ed/Stede/Izzy PWP
It started with Oluwande shyly mentioning it and Stede happy to throw a party for the co-first mate.
if my heart were at peace [star wars] Rated E, Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, modern au, single dad Din meets hot kendo instructor Luke
Luke had thought he was done with the desert.
The Work of Knowing [dragon age] Rated E, Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford, modern au, kidfic
It was Friday night and the Barracuda was overflowing with patrons.
Love, love me [cobra kai] Rated E, Amanda/Daniel/Johnny, shameless OT3 PWP
Amanda wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she got home.
Goliath [teen wolf] Rated G, Episode 1 au where Stiles gets bit instead of Scott, this was written in 2012 ok!!!
Stiles skids in the wet leaves as he runs through the forest, but catches himself and keeps going.
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I only have 10 fics published so they all had to go on the list no matter how old 😅 I think I tend to set up the location more than anything else and/or letting you know who the pov character is.
Twi mentioned that seeing the whole first paragraph would be interesting and I agree! I'm also intrigued about last lines in fic, though that's assuming a writer has 10 finished ones 🤔🤔🤔
Tagging anyone who wants to! If you are reading this and want to join in, please feel free!
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postcards-to-home · 10 months ago
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Letting Go: 2023
‘Have you taken a look at your old posts?” Yes, sort of, thats kind of what brought me to dig that password out again to make a post. “Well read them again. They’re pretty…inspirational actually. Truly. Just please do it.”
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Shape of You/ Ed Sheeran
Fitting 9 people deep into a 5 seater Toyota Fitz at 2 am was not how I anticipated starting the year off. Riding the center console with all the windows rolled up I wondered out loud who the hell was sober enough to drive this thing back to the Aruba Beach Club? Last I recalled we had closed Ricardo's down after slamming over 100 beers in 3 hours, with a unanimous cry from the bartenders, ``You guys broke the record of the most beers ever consumed in one shift.``We’d managed to hit downtown, with chaos tailing closely behind us until open signs flickered off. Someplace between the Ritz and Hilton we huddled on the beach forming a semi circle around a fat Dutchmaster with our fingers cupping the flame of a single lighter. The waves trickled below the pier we stood on as we watched the boats pass between Venezuela and our tiny island of Aruba. Leave it to D-rock to get weed immediately after passing through customs. As a gang of cousins, It was a first for us to all be together overseas. There was peace between us all as we star gazed, except for Tyler filming himself in the background talking about "getting his bag" and "visiting the red-light district". Good Ole Frank shoved us into the clown car half dead at 3 am managing to hit every speed bump he could until we crash landed at the ABC hotel. Jason never made it out of bed the next day and Frank managed to be at the pool by 9. I understand entirely how we are family after that joy ride.
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Im Good (Blue) // David Guetta & Bebe Rexha
Trips with family are always special and I wish I could have had that same feeling I had cruising down the Aruban highway at 3am as I did in Las Vegas this year for my Bachelorette party. While It didn’t pan out that way that I had pictured in my mind, those that made the journey sure did make me smile. The trip itself panned out so far in the other direction I actually wondered if anyone would give a shit about that one time I had 3 vodka cranberries on a vintage casino tour where I took pictures of the retro shag rugs with cowboys on them and fell asleep by 10pm sharp. It was the same trip in which I got to dress up like a bedazzled flamingo and had all my besties shower me with love, something I can't be thankful enough for. They had the ball literally dropped on their heads and they managed to keep moving forward with my happiness as the focus. It wouldn't have been a "Nicole" Trip if I didn't make a fool of myself at least once. I realized after I got off the elevator that my underwear were in fact tucked into the outside of my shirt with the worst part being I was 100% sober. Despite no one winning thousands of dollars or managing to buy a lap dance we did trek through the desert in a hot pink jeep and that was the highlight of the entire trip.After that, we flew home, we threw out anything that had to do with those that hurt us intentionally and we let that shit go.
When I grow up // The pussycat Dolls
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Fast Car// Luke Combs
The year snowballed, and if I may, I’d like to address the elephant in the room. I’ll save everyone the details but I hope this is the last year of my life I have to experience the sudden violent interjection of a fentanyl overdose once again and the familiar destruction it brings. I hope those reading never have to live with seeing your family crowded around the kitchen window sobbing as you see your uncle bent over, dead on the sofa from a coke overdose.Upsetting and startling to read? Yes, but at least he wasn't found crumpled in a ball on the bathroom floor like his son was.  It was of no surprise to receive the news, still tragic no less. It's the one time in my life I wish my intuition was wrong. My mom reminded me I’d called it,emphasizing the need to never tell her in advance when my spidey senses tell me things are going to go south with someone. I had no memory of telling cousin Robert this in January but he wasted no time reminding everyone I knew this would happen before it happened. Jay and I spoke to the officer at the scene on a first name basis hearing “This is the 9th one this week.” It clicked there standing in the rain that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, something I said to Tommy at 9 years old. He was pretty pissed to hear that back then as a 15 year old delinquent. Yet here I am breathing and his ashes are now somewhere in the Moab desert, Schaghticoke, with bitch face and gram down at the cemetery in Cohoes . It was bad enough we buried aunt Ona next to Gram on Thursday but having to go back on Friday to bury Jr in the adjacent plot the following day was just simply too much for us. Maybe we all should have taken those free narcans Grandma Debbie was giving out two Decembers ago that she got from the county jail. But I'll let that thought go.
Way of the Truine God// Tyler Childs
There came a point in the year where pounding the pavement felt like second nature. Work, farm, picking, shows, repeat.Toggling google maps and driving down back country roads into no mans land had me thinking I was pioneering my own adventure.But then standing outside some abandoned house, freezing in line with #27 stuffed in my back pocket I would wonder , is this even fucking worth it? Somewhere close by a  grouchy bastard cranked a heater next to me mumbling about the cast iron pan he wants at the sale. “Cheap thrills” Id giggle sifting through some dead person's Attic knee deep in a mouse house. I drove chaotically through the tri-county region slinging antiques, singing reggaeton of all things at the top of my lungs, driving down 787 doing 90 in a 65mph. We  trucked car loads of plants to antique shows this year all thanks to Dad, Jay mom and Toni. Success is easy when you have a mini squad of family cheering you on the sidelines, willingly sacrificing Saturday mornings to unload trailers at 7am. I was living the dream and my heart would explode on the good days. On the bad days I’d doubt myself but maybe it was willpower, or just simply my spirit throttling my vessel screaming “ You’ve got this,” but It all worked out the way either way.I let my doubt go.
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Just Breathe// Pearl Jam
I understood the meaning of family even more when Jimmy and I were sipping Vodka sodas at the Saratoga Civic Center watching Marissa cross the stage for her high school graduation. Somewhere in between slow sipping and clapping Jen lost her large $1 Mcdonalds diet coke all over the venue floor.Poppy with no hearing aids stood by with judgment in his eyes while I took “Obituary” pictures. He wondered out loud "What the hell is going on," but his voice was lost in the crowd and he couldn't give damn.
Just like we did 7 summers ago, we took that first ride out to college for move in day except this time it was Marissa's turn.We dropped  Marissa off at college just two weeks shy of Jay and I’s wedding wondering what would transpire in the two weeks before her return. We conspired how her first term would go over chili and chicken tenders at the only bar in town. I heard alot of bitching about leaving a purse behind a dumpster and “I need a fucking smoke.” between gram and pops. With a black coffee and fresh pack of reservation grade cigs, poppy and I hit the road home from SUNY Morrisville. Believe it or not pops spent the entire two hours chatting about the past in a way I never knew he was capable of. I'll never see him the same way again, and i'm content with it. We started out with “ I dont believe in god so when I'm gone just do whatever makes you guys feel good,” and ended with “ I’m glad we got to talk to Nicole, I really liked it. I still don't believe in God but I believe you speak to my mom in your dreams and I can’t explain that.” It was an entire short novel of everything I ever wanted to know explained all at once leaving me with sentiments of peace.
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Drive//Alan Jackson
The pivot towards happily ever after did not commence until walking back up the aisle to catch a drink in my hand.  What a magical day we had. Chalking the day up in my mind I anticipated something far less significant than what had actually happened, simply put, a beautiful day. A day that was talked about with anxiety and ten tons of stress for nearly two years straight, amassing to a single day of blissful drinking surrounded by LOVE and all our favorite people. It felt like our own movie premier, except it was the start our "New life". We had a crowd of family stare at us with tears of laughter in their eyes as we shared our first dance to Hootie and the Blow fish’s “Only wanna be with you." If you're wondering it was totally the wrong choice, last minute and we weren't nearly drunk enough to hide how mortified we were swinging each other round and round. Endless bouts of laughter rang throughout the entire night helping to deflect the thought that some of my favorite people in the world weren’t able to be in attendance that day. Despite the potential for rain as my dad predicted, the day was nothing but sunshine and bliss. A few people cried over their ex’s in the corner that I never saw while one guy went fishing in the pond catching a small mouth bass. Shortly after that he managed to drop an entire keg on his head leaving an egg sized welt on his forehead perfectly positioned for his headlamp to rest on. It all came to an end with everyone barefoot, slurring words in the barn at 2 am, muddy from drunkenly falling down the hill that the barn sat upon. With ruined dresses, we ran out of water and woke the next day with black feet and nothing but giggles. 
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Galaxy// Quavo
Controversial to popular opinion, honeymoons are not easy breezy lemon squeezy and probably shouldn't be taken immediately after your wedding day unless you're prepared to melt from exhaustion prior to landing someplace thousands of miles from home. I will admit it was pretty cool to ride in a cop car through Newark airport while also being personally escorted through TSA all thanks to Josh. After that Jay and I tumbled fast, hitting EU soil with peak levels of bitchiness letting Mallorca test my zen before even getting there. European mannerisms are something we are still coming to terms with and my Spanish is still B2 at best despite Laura’s constant push for me to do more and be better. "Nico, you can do this, it will be easy, you know this." No one told me it was Catalonian Spanish..
If it weren't for Jason driving on 3 hours of sleep and a Xanax I'm not sure we would have survived the first 8 hours on the island (Ok I would have made it but it wouldn't have been an endless laugh).There is no other person on this earth I could imagine driving a fiat with into a plaza full of people..No one else I could picture driving down a one lane country rode with singing Quavos “Fuel Up” and crashing into a rock wall,forcing me to get out of the car and wave down a local for support. It would have been pretty awesome if a camera crew appeared to remind us of that moment of defeat when I bitchly slammed the car door in jays face, saying “STFU ill fix this,” while he sat defeated from the days series of unfortunate events. That tire was the only thing preventing us from entering an air-conditioned unit and I wasn't going to let my man melt away. Senior Tony came to the rescue after I waved him down through barbed fencing, letting me into his gated home to ask in Spanish for support along with his wifi password. All that to find out the parking break was jammed and our rental house had timed AC of 1 hour a day from 3-4am. 
Still,there's no person other than Jay i’d rather crash our vespa with in deadstop traffic just moments before returning the rental. Jay and I are what romcoms are made from. We lived it, we survived and we laughed the entire ride down the one lane mountain rode in one piece. We trash talked the guy with "Love” tattooed on his neck that told jay to never ride a vespa again because he's never been so scared in his life to watch a man ride one like jay.Jay's also the guy I can always count on to make friends with the black girls with the speaker and meet random townies at the bar with. His energy is truly unmatched. Bless his heart for picking me, his one beer queer that pees in dirt parking lots at 10pm on our honeymoon to live with the rest of his life.
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6PM en Mallorca/ Eladio Carrion
There would be days where I was simply vibrating with the need to do it all at once and then some on an empty stomach and a few energy drinks. Healthy wasn't on my radar so I suffered the consequences. It shouldn't have been shocking to learn I was diagnosed with HSP (Highly sensitive person) but to be simply put, it felt like someone gave me the answer I’d been looking for my whole life. Jokingly, I now had an excuse for my hangry episodes, dramatic mood drops and inability to tolerate social outings for longer than 2.5 hours before committing an Irish goodbye home to charge my social battery. Swan would say “Hey Nicole, hows your HSP these days,” like an asshole and we’d all laugh at the thought of me actually having a real life crisis and not something I exaggerated. With this revelation I was mildly pissed because it meant Taylor was sort of right in saying I was autistic all those years ago. While she was sneaking cookies in her sock drawer, feeding her 8 month pregnant belly on the o there side of our shared wall, she screamed at me I was autistic because I didn’t care for loud noises or her shitty attitude. On the spectrum or not, I'll let that go too.
Seasons change and things wound down. It's January as I write this with my health intact along with everything else in my mental portfolio. I've stopped hearing from my manager “ Nicole Im worried about your mental health, maybe you should take time off.”  and instead I'm hearing from those around me “Congratulations" and "you should feel so proud." I am proud actually, its a new feeling. I learnt a lot of lessons this year but ultimately it boils down to one simple message that applies to every facet of our existence: Light & Love. Thats it.
As long as youre striving to be as close to light and love as possible, whatever that is for you, then it will all work out in the end. And It really has. My whole life feels lighter just knowing as long as I gravitate towards genuine love and goodness, all good things will follow and come back.
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  "The whole universe is always about love and when it isnt about love its about the absence of love."
Thanks for reading,
NRCM
*Want to read my old posts? Curious what about the past, or just simply nosey? Click "Past Work" on the left to read all my old shit.
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youresog0lden · 4 years ago
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15 II Spencer Reid
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Summary: It’s been 15 years since the murder of your mother so you take the day off, while back home your best friend is trying to find out what happened with the case completely forgetting that every day for the past 6 years he would come over and stay with you. 
WC: 3.2k 
Warnings: Angst, the mentions of death, panic attacks, the mentions of depression, ED (kinda), Murder, Stabbing, Violence, Crying, Vomit, The mentions of Heaven I think I could be wrong I might have said above. -But just in case-  I used y/n but used a last name so I could make the story easier just replace it. 
A/N: I definitely cried while writing this one. Please let me know what you think ! This is one of my favorites !  THIS IS NOT MY GIF
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Notes: Y/n/n = your nickname y/n = your name
Relationship: Spencer x Fem Reader (kinda)
"The song is ended, but the melody lingers on." ~ Irving Berlin
15 years ago. fif-teen. Today was the big day. I was 15 years ago. Since my mom was brutally murdered. They told us they never found the murderer. That they tried to find every piece of evidence that they could but, this person is a pro. Every year I take the night to try and help solve the case but nothing has come out of it.
"Hey Garcia." I chirped picking up the phone.
"Hey beautiful. I know it's your day off but we really need you on this case." she pleaded.
"I can't. I have to go." I say softly hanging up the phone. Every year on her death date I go to her grave to talk to her let her know that she's not alone. I tell her about everyone and everything. I tell her about Spencer. Even though if she was here now she would tell me to stop thinking about boys and that there a waster of time. I bring her her favorite flowers even though they take a week to get to me because there rainbow roses. Her favorite. She says there way to colorful reminding her of everyone of her kids, never a dull moment. So I take the day to thank her for having me for bringing me into this world. I made sure her grave was put in the Jane graveyard. I wanted her to feel at home with her mom and dad. I always leave crying but, knowing she's watching from above only makes me have hope that I will see her again. Right at the time I get up to get ready I get a call from a certain Doctor.
"Hello Dr. Reid." I joked.
"Hello Agent Jane." we laughed at the joke both of us made
"I'm waiting for you." at this point I almost immediately stopped laughing.
"Do you not know what today is?" I asked quietly.
"No. Am I supposed to?" he asked. Yes because I told you. I told you what happened. I told you the date. I told you how she was murdered but I guess you forgot.
"No never mind. Look Spencer I have to go." before he can say anything I hang up. I sit there looking at myself. Black jeans, boots, and a hoodie. I nod before grabbing my bag and the flowers leaving and a bag I packed since I was going home. I set my things down and make sure the flowers are secured. I back out of my parking lot and drive towards the highway. Hey sweetie I just wanted to let you know I love you. Please be careful tonight I love you more than anything. Her voice rang in my head like it did every year on her date. I remember getting the call in the morning after seeing it on the news. I took me months to finally get up and move around and it took me two years to finally go and see her. I was 18 when it happened. My brother was the only one home at the time.
He told me he came home from the football game to see her blood all over the house. Justin wasn't home at the time. Justin being my step-dad. He told me that she asked him to go get roses for there anniversary coming up so he did. I cried for weeks on end. I ended up being taken to the hospital because I stopped eating. I stopped taking care of myself. I couldn't physically do it anymore. I couldn't sit there in the house anymore. I ended up moving out and starting college like my mom would've wanted she was the whole reason I became a profiler I needed to find out what happened. I needed to catch this guy but, it was like he feel off the face of the earth. The case went cold and eventually everyone moved on. Even I did I was finally happy. I made family at work. Nothing could ever replace my original family but they were a close second. I made a best friend. Spencer Reid. Even though he didn't remember today I didn't blame him for it. He may have an eidetic memory but, work was one of the many things that flooded that pretty brain of his.
Eventually after being friends with him it's almost natural to develop a crush -if you will- on him. Almost like a wildfire I did. I couldn't help but love him and all of his quirks. He could make the moon smile if he tried. Hell even if he didn't try but when he did and he let out a laugh it was contagious. Everyone would laugh. He was the heart and soul of the team. His magic tricks, his lectures about why the girl and I can't have more than five shoots and three drinks when we go out. - I really think it's the dominance coming out in him - but he says he just cares about us and doesn't want us to complain to him about our raging headaches in the morning at work. Almost every year Reid would come over and help me through it. I would never actually take him to my moms grave he just stayed the night before and made sure I was okay every morning for almost six years. I hurt that he forgot but once again work probably effected that.
After what seemed to be about a three hour drive and two bathroom stops I pull into the graveyard surrounded by the Jane family church our great, great, great, great, great grandparents founded in. This is where our family was berried time after time. Taking a big breath I see the street lights surrounding the graveyard making it not look as deep and depressing. I grab the flowers and a water bottle moving out the car and into the graveyard. I take a deep breath walking and sitting down by my mom.
"Hey momma." I say softly looking down at her headstone. Cheryl Jane. Loving mother, Wife, and daughter. June 8th 1970- August 25th 2005. It's okay rest easy momma-bear you've done your work. Just at the read  of that my eyes start watering. "It's been a year. A lot has happened this year. Emily has been working our asses off. It seems like cereal killers never take the time off. I miss you more than ever. I know Brantly does to. He talks about you the most. It's really hard for me to. Even though you know that. Anyway I'm sure you want to know the constant loop of my life. Well here it goes. Mom I'm in love with my best friend and he's in love with his and I know that sounds confusing but here let me explain in. He may be mine but JJ is his. I can tell by the way his eyes get big when he hears her talk or how his smile is or how he blushes as she talks but I get why shes beautiful. He's so in love with her mom and, it hurt's so bad but sometimes you have to get through the pain. Derek left. He has a kid so he went to be daddy Derek with Savannah. We have a new team member. Luke Alvez he's cool. Emily is the new unit chief. Hotch had to leave for a while. Recently it's been hard mom. I've barley been wanting to go to work in the morning knowing he isn't mine. Mom, I know that if you were here right now you'd tell me." I take a deep breath tears running down my cheeks.
"Don't worry about boys Y/N. Life is way to short. Go out start loving yourself, not guys. Because if one thing is promised in life it's you'll always have yourself. That and, that no one ever makes it out of here alive. So stop wasting time on him and, trust me I'm trying. I really am. I just need you to be here to hold me while I cry in your arms. Mom I'm 33 and I still need to cry into your arms. Mom I thought I would have you until I'm old. I didn't picture you not being here to see me graduate college. I thought you would be here to see me have the kids you always wanted to see me have. You always talked about being a grandma. I thought you could walk me down the isle as I'm getting married in your dress with our family ring seeing your smile on your face. God I miss that smile so much and what I wouldn't do to see it again. Pictures aren't enough. I don't know how long it's been since Jasmine came out here to talk to you but she's married now. To this guy his names James. I really like him. I can tell he makes her happy. There expecting. I'm going to be a godmother and a aunt. I never thought I would be this achieved in my life. The only thing is-" I couldn't stop crying. It kept coming down in waves of sadness tears escaping like no other.
"Well there's quite a few only things but the first thing is I just expected you to be here when I tell everyone the news. I used to remember running into the living room telling you how much I wanted to move to London and meet a cute English boy and have a perfect life. Well the whole boy thing isn't working. -obviously- but I got offered a job for a secret agent task force that goes undercover all around the world and helps solves cold cases from all around. I have to let them know by next week all I could think about was my family, and how if I left how hurt they would feel we've already lost so many team members but at the same time this may be exactly what I need. I would still come and visit you every year. I promise. Pinky. But I don't know I have a lot to think about on my way home. I could sleep in a hotel tonight but I just don't think I want to do that. But anyways I love you lots momma-bear more than anything. See you next year." and with that I placed the roses on her headstone standing up noticing it was starting to get dark I quickly go to my car unlocking it and placing the keys into the ignition and looking at my phone seeing as I shut it off to be more with my mom today.
4 missed call for Spence
3 missed calls from Garica
2 text from Spence. Click to open it.
So that's exactly what I did I look at the texts.
"Y/N please answer me. I know what today is I'm so so sorry I forgot."
"I'm on my way. Please just tell me your safe." I text back with a quick "It's fine. I'm already on my way home. Just leave me alone for the night please." I turn off my phone once again before heading on my way home. Leaving the busy road to much calmer ones.
"Mommy." I called out walking around the house. There I stood in a blue Cinderella dress and her clear heals with this sassy attitude.
"Yes sweetie." she laughs looking at me taking out her clunky camera and snapping a picture of me.
"Mommy can you pwease help me talk this off." my four year old eyes flashed on her. She laughs nodding her head.  She helps me take off the dress leaving me in my hello kitty underwear and heals. She pulls out one of my pj sets and looks at me.
"Let's get you ready for bed. Yeah?" she says. I nod sticking my arms up. She picks me up taking me into the bathroom.
"Can we pwease use the hello kitty bubbles." I ask with puppy eyes.
"Of course my sweets." she kissed my forehead. She lets the bath fill up before putting me in there and bathing me. Kissing me on the head, the shoulder, the top of my back, the side of my head then, my nose. Every time a little laugh left my lips.
"Stop mommy it tickles." I laugh splashing the water. She gasps
"Mommy." I say sternly. She gives me a look before continuing
"Yes baby."
"I love you more than ice cream."
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
"Then I love you more than the sun and moon combined."
As the flashbacks come back so do the tears. I pull over to the side of the road before feeling my heart crack.
"Then I love you more than the sun and moon combined."
"Fuck." I yell sitting in my car all alone. My breathing increasing in seconds my hands shaking. I can feel the urge to get out of my car and puke. But I sit there trying to call myself. It wouldn't stop her voice, the memories. I grab my phone knowing only one person could even remotely help this but deciding against it I put the phone down. I bust my car door open before falling to my knees and puking whatever I ate this morning out. I didn't stop tho I couldn't but once, I finally do I stand up and go to my car looking for a bottle of water. Finding one a few seconds later I grab my to-go bag washing my mouth and and brushing my teeth with the water I had. I get back in my car which now my hands weren't shaking as much so I was good on driving. At a red light I turn my phone on waiting for it to start back up again. When it finally does I connect it to my speaker I quickly call Spencer. The phone rings for a second before hearing the uttermost thing.
"Hello." his voice sounded shakily.
"Spence." my voice broke. Fuck really.
"Y/n/n." he sighs realizing you.
"Spence I'm almost home do you think you could spend the night tonight I don't want to be alone." I whimpered out tears sliding down my face.
"I'll be there in ten with food ready for you." he almost said instantly. I nod knowing he can't see me before hanging up and making my way down the exit.
"Mom. Get out." I complained. I was 15 and I just wanted privacy.
"Come on sweetie talk to me." she sighs.
"No. Just leave me alone." I yell.
"Don't you dare yell at me I am your mother." she was now raising her voice. I stopped dead in my tracks.
"I wish you were never my mother. "
After saying those few words to her, I could see the heartbreak in her eyes. She did everything for me even when we didn't have money and it was just the two of us. Then at the time it was my mom, my sister, I and her husband Justin and his kid. I didn't mean to say it I was just mad and I always apologized for it still feeling bad for even saying it.
"I wish you were never my mother." The words were like ice. She stopped dead in her tracks. It still heart my heart when thinking about it. It still made me cry thinking about it. Which I already was but still it only increased it. I grab my bag walking into the apartment complex seeing Reid's car parked a few down from mine I knew he used the key I gave him to get into my apartment. God how much more obvious could I be. I walk to the elevator pressing the fourth floor taking my time up there. I open the door hearing his footsteps bring him into direct eye-contact. I drop my bad right by the door closing it as he held his arms open for me to walk into, so I did exactly that. I walk right into his arms. My arms latching around his neck his wrapping around my waist. I bring my head into his neck crying harder with each second the hug lasted. He doesn't say anything he just sways us back and forth letting us take in the moments. Enjoying having someones arms to cry in after a long day of crying by yourself. It felt nice knowing he was there if you needed him.
"Do you want to eat?" he asked. I nodded my head before sitting at my island. He hands me my bowl of Chinese food and takes his own setting it down on the side of me. I lay my head on his shoulder messing with my food with my fork. He notices it but doesn't say anything he just takes my hand way and holds it with his laying his head on top of mine. He took his head off mine and unlaced his hands before taking a deep breath.
"You need to go lay down you look exhausted." he says in a hushed tone.
"Can you come lay down with me." I say just as quietly.
"If you go get ready I'll clean up the kitchen then I'll come lay down with you." he says. I nod before walking a few steps forward before quickly turning around and turn into his embrace hugging him once again. I mumble a quick 'thank you.'  Into his stomach.
"I love you." I say once I finally let go.
"I love you pretty girl." he says softly using my nickname he gave me a while ago when I started using the nickname pretty boy because of Morgan. I walk into my room changing into a pair of shorts and his over sized Cal-tech t-shit. I brush me teeth once again and go into my room where he has changed from his normal dress pants into his flannel pants with a hoodie on. I smile at him smally but I could tell he noticed because once I did he flashed me an award winning smile holding up his tooth brush. I laugh lightly and walk to the bed letting him get in the bathroom. He walks out and get's on his side of the bed laying into it with me.
"Y/n?" he questioned.
"Yes love."
"I heard that they think the found the killer." he says. I sit up straight.
"What-" I questioned softly
"Emily said they found a note and a dead body confessing into killing your mom." he says just as softly.
"How do we know it's him?"
"He explained in the letter details only the person who did it would know his prints were found on a weapon that looks exactly like the weapon your mom was killed with and the blade matched and everything. Then we found a recording of him and your mom talking."
"When did you find this?"
"Today." I nod.
"So it's really him?"
"Yeah. It's really him." he says. I smile softly, our eyes finally meet. He grabs me pulling me closer to him. I take this as a sign and plant my lips on his. He doesn't kiss back so I pull away just as quickly.
"I'm-I-I'm so sor-" I was cut off by his lips on my once again finally feeling at peace.
"Our Life is made by the death of others."~ Leonardo da Vinci
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twoidiotwriters1 · 5 years ago
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Home- Chapter 11 (Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo x F!Oc)
Words: 2,490
Warnings: Sexual mention...ish, not a big deal.
Masterlist:
Chapter 10 // Chapter 12
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On that night Kylo Ren had difficulty sleeping. Despite having the most comfortable and largest bed of all, it doesn’t stop tossing on the mattress.
He’d long since become accustomed to the constant nightmares that haunted him and with the use of force, he could chase them away and simply not dream. But tonight is different, he can't stop thinking about everything that has happened since he found Kiara, at first he couldn't believe it, he thought it was a ghost, but then it all made sense, although he doesn't know exactly what he did to survive. Then there was the fact that both have been saved from falling to their deaths, although what happened at the previous base wasn’t planned.
Kylo had felt something that weakened him and so he couldn't stop his fall, but he didn't expect her to save him. And her words, his heart doesn’t stop beating every time he remembers them, but he refuses to believe her.
Finally, he gives up and sits on the bed, trying to distract himself with anything: preparations, arrangements, reading a book, ordering food, trying everything, but nothing works. Until an idea comes to mind through a different voice than his. He decides to ignore the owner or owners of the voice.
Regardless that he's only in his pajamas, he walks through the halls, ignoring the soldiers, until he reaches Kiara's room. He opens the door and when he enters, he closes it behind him.
The new room is smaller, but has everything she needs. Kylo walks, slowly observing his surroundings until his sight falls on the bed at the end. Kiara is asleep, the sheets are tangled on her body, which is face down, her head on her side, her mouth slightly open causing slight snoring and her hair scattered on the pillow.
She seems at peace, he understands that she must be tired, after all she’s been through and also because of the memories they shared the other night, which remain a mystery. Kylo can't help but get closer and slowly he gets to his knees at the foot of the bed, his hand running fearfully over her cheek, pushing aside the locks and again the memory of that dance comes to his mind.
So innocent, pure, full of joy. The details arrive and he remembers what happened after she entered the room, the food and alcohol, the laughter, family gossip and the stars. For a moment, Kylo wants to go back to those moments when being with her was his only concern.
“You've always been a creep. Now you’re watching me sleep…” A whisper startles him, but when she opens her eyes they relax him and embarrass him a little. Kiara adjusts herself to see him better.
“It's never been my intention,” He answers, and she smiles.
“Can't sleep?" Her voice is still hoarse from sleep. He shakes his head.
Kiara sits on the bed. They both look each other in the eye.
“Nightmares?"
"Thoughts," he replies.
"Do you want to talk about that?" He frowns.
"How can you act so calm after everything that's happened?" She shrugs.
"I guess for a few minutes… we could pretend."
Kiara was confused, the sleep and weariness are taking a tool on her, or she just says that to justify herself.
"What did you do to survive?" He blurts out and she sighs.
"Even I don't fully understand it…”
"Show me,” Kylo offers his hands and she takes them. They both close their eyes controlling the memories.
“Ben! What’s happening?" she asks in horror as she sees everything around her being destroyed
"Come with me, we must run away!" He takes Kiara's hand, but she lets go quickly.
"Not until you explain what happened!” Ben tries not to release his power against her.
"I'll explain everything to you-"
"Now!" she demands.
Ben growls and guides her to a secluded spot, looking around for signs of Luke or anyone who might stop him.
"Luke wanted to kill me.”
"What?"
"He felt my power, it’s greater than all of yours, and he couldn’t cope with it. Kiara, he came into my cabin and tried to kill me. We must get out of here!”
“Did you do all this? ” She asks, unable to believe it.
"I had to... Luke made me do this!” Kiara notices the darkness in his eyes, she steps back in fear.
“The voices, Snoke. You keep listening to them…”
"Kiara–"
“You’re making a serious mistake, Ben. Leave all of this behind. Don't listen to them, they just want to hurt you…”
“WHO SAYS IT? Luke?” Now he’s approaching quickly, causing fear in her, she moves away until she hits the rock behind her. “He’s only told us lies, Kiara. The dark side has more power, it has many things to teach us, I have seen it…”
“Ben…” Her cheeks are covered with tears. "No, do not do this…”
Kiara doesn’t know what else to say, she doesn’t understand the sudden change. She thinks of all that he has hidden from her. "No, listen to me, we will solve this, the others–“
"They are all dead!"
Her breathing is shaky.
“Stop!" She uses force and manage to throw him a few meters.
The body hits the ground and Ben's anger increases, it doesn't take him long to get up. Kiara takes this opportunity to ignite her lightsaber.
"Don't make me do this, Ben…”
He watches her in surprise, he didn't count on her trying to stop him.
‘Kill her, if she's not on your side, she just gets in the way’ the voices tell him.
Ben lights his saber and they both start a fight they never thought they'd had. Her movements are agile and fast and his movements are strong and determined.
Kiara dodges the attacks and defends herself with great skill. They both know that this is no longer part of their training. The confrontation goes as far as being close to a rock cave, the one in which both sometimes hid from others.
The sabers collide, the bodies cover themselves with ashes and dirt.
"Please, Ben,” She says with difficulty, that’s when the boy notices her weakness. Ben walks away a little and she looks confused.
The boy offers his hand "Let's not do this, my star…” Her breath stops when she hears the nickname. "Come with me ... be my partner…”
The voices try to enter her head, but their power is stronger.
"No," She says firmly. Ben's hand clenches into fists, he looks up and notices the cave, he knows what to do.
"Then you're just on my way," He uses force and pushes her away. She falls at the entrance to the cave. Ben gets a little closer.
"We would have made a good team, my love…” with that, he uses force again and causes the rocks to collapse against Kiara's body.
Everything turned black, the last thing Ben could see was the arm of his beloved from under the rocks. After that, he returned to his destruction. At that moment, Ben Solo died and Kylo Ren took his place.
–————————————————————
"R2, who is it?” It is the first thing she hears among the rocks, the earth fills her lungs. She moves with difficulty, but stops when she feels an enormous weight on her right leg.
The beeps are closer.
“Help," She tries.
"Kiara?" Luke yells from the other side.
The sobs hurt her. After a few minutes, she stops feeling the weight on her body. Luke uses force to save her. Picking her up gently, Kiara can tell he’s crying too.
“Easy, little one. You're safe…” She passed out after that again.
————————————————————
"I don't understand how I could survive the collapse," She says, barely above a whisper. Their hands are intertwined. Kylo is sitting next to her on the bed. “Luke took me with Han and Leia. He told them everything, they couldn't believe it, I remember her crying while I recovered in the hospital. My broken leg, ribs and arm…”
They’re silent for a few minutes. Kylo knows that apologizing is not enough and she doesn't expect it.
"H-how did you end up with Han?" He asks fearfully. She smiles at the memory.
“Leia invited me to all the resistance meetings, important things, she didn’t leave me alone. At first I appreciated it, but everything that was happening overwhelmed me too much. I was afraid of…” She looks him in the eye.“If you discovered that I was alive, you would've done whatever it took to finish what you had started. I wanted to get away from everything. Your parents weren’t in a good situation after the news. I heard that Han was going back to his old job and I begged him to take me with him."
Suddenly Kylo's hand touches her cheek and he caresses her gently. Kiara sighs at the touch and her eyes water.
The man, for the first time since he saw her again, noticed the passage of time in her, her features are still thin, but now they’re different, firm, her hair is longer. He runs his other hand through it.
"Why does the force want to show us our memories?"
"I don’t know.”
"The dance... you, I didn't remember how beautiful you looked that day,” He says surprised at his sincerity.
"You were so nervous," She says, laughing a little.
Kylo’s hand goes from the cheek towards her neck and little by little both get closer. Kiara closes her eyes and Kylo doesn’t miss the opportunity to kiss her.
The kiss begins slow and delicate, but they don’t wait long to become needy. Kiara runs her hands through his hair and pulls it lightly, causing a groan from Kylo, while the black-haired man grips her waist. Without noticing, Kiara ends up lying against the mattress with Kylo on top of her. His lips part in search of air and then moves down to her neck.
Their minds are cloudy, they want to continue, feel each other. But this doesn’t last long, when they look at each other again, they come to their senses.
Suddenly she pushes him hard and he falls out of bed, but quickly gets up.
Neither knows what to do, they look like two children being discovered by their parents. They don't say anything.
Kylo leaves the room.
The last thing they share is the scream in their mind.
“NO!”
——————————————————
Kiara’s pov
It's been several days, he hasn't even asked me to go to training. I know that our situation is uncomfortable and I don't even know how to act now.
The kiss was… as if he was finally breathing after so long holding his breath.
My head is messed up.
Wasn't it ever?
I groan when I hear the voice in my head again.
Leave me alone.
It's not my fault that you think so loud.
Yeah right. Can you go for a few minutes? I am sinking into my misery.
Sure.
I sigh in relief once I don’t listen to her anymore.
Which gives me an opportunity to continue with my adolescent regrets.
I certainly don't know what I'm doing, really. First I tell him that I love him, when it's not true... almost. Then the kiss.
"AAAAAAAGGH!" What’s happening to me? I don’t get it. He did what he did and is doing horrible things and has no regrets.
You know it's not true, he's changing, thanks to you.
Dammit.
It's not because of me, he can't change, people don't change, I just... hate myself. I want to get out of here and run away as far as I can, that does work for me.
I walk around my room until I reach the door, I stop right in front.
"If only I could leave my room, so I could do a master plan…”
You had a chance before and decided to stay with him.
Not for him. No, no, no.
I lean against the wall and inadvertently touch the panel, causing the door to open. I look at everything totally confused.
“That’s what it takes?" I say offended.
What if you talk to him?
It's not a good idea.
Why? Surely he's in his room.
Well, good. Let him stay there.
Kiara…
Enough Rey, stop telling me what to do!
You know I'm not comfortable with this connection either, but we can't do anything about it.
I wish I had an alarm that would alert me when I had a new connection to someone.
Yes it wasn't nice to find out when you were bathing.
Noup.
Well, I already saw you naked and him shirtless, there won't be so many secrets.
What– you what?
Just go with him.
Since when do you want to help him? What do you mean you saw him shirtless?
I want to help you both and I can feel that you have more power over him, we can both change it, Kiara. Also, there’s no stormtrooper on guard.
I growl at her idea, especially since I also think the same, I peek at confirming what she says.
Okay, but this conversation is not over.
I walk the hallways very cautiously.
Any idea where his room might be?
Turn left here, you’re close.
I obey orders until I reach a door being watched by two soldiers.
And now?
Pretend he sent for you.
I approach the soldiers.
"I'm sorry lady. You can't walk in.”
They don't know that I'm a prisoner.
Brilliant.
"Kylo Ren called me, said it was important," Both soldiers share a look.
"I think you’re wrong,” before I could reply, the door opens and a woman comes out of it. She stops when she sees me, her hands hold her robe, she walks past me and gets lost in the corridors.
Oh no.
Everything connects.
He was shirtless, and a girl came out of her room.
Kiara–
"Oh my god," I say with a grimace. No no no. Him? No.
Ew!
I'm so distracted that I don't realize Kylo comes to the door and looks at me in surprise.
"Kiara" I look up and as Rey said, he's shirtless. I feel a pressure in my chest.
"I, I'm sorry, I didn't want to…” He suddenly frowns
"What are you doing here? How could you get out of the room?”
Does he care more about that than this?
Not that it's a bad thing– He’s a man… a single man. He can do whatever he wants, after all, and I can't claim anything from him.
"N-no one was–"
"Escort her to her room and keep her in," He says to a stormtrooper. And then turns back to me. "I don't want to see you out unless I need you.”
I look at him confused.
The soldier obey and lightly push me to walk. I don't say anything else.
I just let myself be guided without understanding very well what happened.
Taglist:
   @oopsiedoopsie23
@blackheartedspider
@fandomshit6000
@thewinterschildren178​
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tisfan · 5 years ago
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State of the Fics 2019
The WIPS and Dead Ends Edition
So: having recently had a few discussions with some fellow authors and talking about other writers and stuff... here is where I’m going to answer some/most/all of the MOARPLZ requests.
I have 440+ works on A03 and a lot of what I hear is MOARPLZ or “is there going to be any more of this...”
So, I’m kinda going through my list right now and letting you know what my plans are for 2020 and what, if anything, you can count on to see more of, and what is, in fact, truly over. If you don’t see a fic that you love and want to know more about it, feel free to ask me. 
Take Note and RSVP - every once in a while, we get asked about this story. This was my first jaunt into the fic world, and it’s unfinished. We lost our Steve writer because of some Fandom Drama (you can blame some stans who accused us of plagiarizing a fic we’d never read who continually attacked us until the stress just made it not worth the effort of finishing.)
Solar Powered Soldiers was my first solo effort. This fic, as far as I’m concerned, pretty much sucks. It was meant to be a Steve/Bucky fic, ended up with the only smut scene as a Nat/Clint piece, and didn’t really have a satisfactory ending. I am not likely to ever go back and fix this.
Steve of Oz was supposed to be mostly smutty foray into exploring Steve as the Avengers Bike. The plan was basically for him to end up having sex with literally everyone, while in a Wizard of Oz setting. Never happened, didn’t get much response to it. 
Lost in the Shadows Every once in a while, I get someone who asks me about this AU. Talk about your niche markets! On the other hand, I love me some ShadowRun, so I have not closed down the idea of writing more on this AU... 
So, here’s a fun thing: This particular AU is what’s been requested by my Marvel Trumps Hate winner, so, I’ll be writing a dragon-level event story for this, some 27 - 30,000 words. You ready, chummer?
The Communal Kitchen AU We have a few half-complete stories in this series; Vol 3, the Mating Habits of Hero Birds, a vague outline of a Team NuclearWinter side piece, and a couple of smut pieces that never got written. I may yank the sex pollen scene from Vol 3 out and post it as a stand-alone. We’ll see. If there’s interest in any of this, maybe we’ll come back to it. (I am currently re-reading the whole series, because honestly, I write the fic I want to read, and so I re-read my own stuff rather a lot.)
Anything involving Phil Coulson and Clint Barton - while I still ship this couple, and I’ll read stuff about them, I’ve pretty much given up writing them. Between Agents of SHIELD and everything with Clint starting in, say Age of Ultron forward, I just... don’t feel it anymore? Which does include the started and never finished Coulson’s Final Case 
Next Thursday Night - huh, I’d honestly forgotten about this fic. maybe i’ll revisit it this year upcoming... somewhere I think I have an outline.
Subject to PunTax - I love puns, and this story is very formulaic. I pick a topic, make up 5-7 puns on the subject, wrap a story around it and tie a bow with a suggestive pick up line. So, I leave this open to continue, the next time I’m feeling Punny.
Bucky Barnes has Kittens - Bucky as the crazy cat lady writer with bad anxiety. I’ve had a lot of people tell me this story has been great for them, dealing with Bucky’s anxiety issues. I do have more story ideas for this ‘verse, including Bucky finding out that Steve is also a writer and dealing with that. Decidedly On the List.
Eight Arms to Hold You - I have a handful of extra stories for these. Some of them went up on Tumblr for tentacletober... generally speaking, any mermaid fic of mine is subject to a continuation because MERMAIDS and OCTOBUCKY
All American Road Trip confession time here: I stopped writing this fic because of some anti-tonys who kept popping in my comments for this fic to rant about Tony Stark in a fic that was NOT ABOUT TONY. I’ve deleted all their comments, but they were nasty, and I stopped wanting to write for people who were being so abusive to Tony (and honestly, that much bile spilling in my comments, I don’t care who it’s about, it makes me sad) Like, they liked the Fic (steve/sam/bucky) but... eeeh, whatevs. I didn’t feel like dealing with it, and I’m not going to.
Also Prey - One of my more popular pieces, I reserve the right to add more to it when I’m in a fluff mood.
Kiss me Through the Phone - I wrote this with @27dragons and I have about... half a plan for a third chapter called Your Dirty Little Secret. So, with some encouragement, that could happen.
The Truth is Who You Are - my BDSM with religious song lyrics fic; this stuff is really emotional for me, and while I do have 2-3 more pieces planned, they take me a while to write and they knock the shit out of me while I’m doing it. There’s a lot of Tony working through his self-hatred that just... it’s deep. So... there will be more, it just... might be Some Time. 
The Killer and the Kid - this is literally my most popular piece. I get a MOAR PLZ ask on this at least once a month. I have been saying for a while I’m not planning any more of this, but I did offer it as an incentive for the Marvel Trumps Hate auction. This particular fic will ONLY BE WRITTEN for a charitable donation. 
Joyride - I’ve written a couple of addons for this fic loosely titled Bundle of Joy. They’re not quite Done Yet, but when I get there, I’ll be posting that.
Nights in Sandbridge - our most popular series, and I love these boys so much here. We have no major plans to continue, but if something strikes us, we may. 
WinterIron Pickup - a short story that spawned a second chapter. I have some ideas for continuing this, but it’s fallen by the wayside as I write other things.
What Good is the Sky - this piece is so angsty, and I keep getting requests to do moar of it. Trust me, you don’t want that, it will END BADLY. and I will cry a LOT.
Off the Menu - I really do have a LOT more of this story in my head. I just don’t know when I’m going to get around to it.
Bucky Barnes Prom CYOA this was SO HARD to format that I just gave up on it. I may come back and redo this as a few “completed” stories? 
Phoning it In - I do, in fact, have a few more of this AU in mind, I just lost a bit of the shiny after an amazing fucking against the sofa smut scene. So, there might be more of this in your future (also I kept expecting it to win March Madness, so I-- didn’t get back ‘round to it?)
A Poor Reflection - never got finished. Not sure why, I had the whole damn thing plotted out. Where is my outline??
The Enhancile War Series - mostly to play with the trope of naked girl in a box, this series originally had four plotted stories, but we just could NOT get the fourth story to GO anywhere, even pushing on it really, really hard.
Any Old Music Will Do - I have a plot outline for this one, with Bucky and Tony forming the core of the Defenders, along with Luke and Jessica, but I don’t know what I did with it... anyway, there’s more ideas here. a bit.
Indispensable we had a plot idea for a sequel and I actually think we wrote about 15000 words or so on it, but-- meh, it ended up not being very interesting. If we come up with some actual plot, then maybe?
Park(s) and Wreck(ed) - I have some more ideas for this as Tony and Bucky get their sexy on all over the office.
Stark, Naked - we did, in fact, do a sequel to this, which was rather short, but well-received. Not much ideas here for anything else, but we like this version of them, so if we get good prompts, we might be tempted to take up the reigns again.
Land After Time - We get a LOT of requests for Moar of this. If we had ANY FUCKING CLUE what was going on, we might. but we really, really don’t
We Can’t Eat That (It’s Dead) - I actually have an entire plot for this, on who the dead guy is and what happened...  I could be encouraged.
Forever Home - we wrote a full length sequel to this, but weirdly enough, it WASN’T the original sequel we’d sort of talked about. which means there’s potentially a third story here... (maybe a 4th one, too)
Excuse me, I think You Have My Suitcase - the further adventures of Tony and Bucky in lacy underthings. Yes. The next time I feel like PWP, I plan to revisit.
Dead to Rights - I still really like this idea... I just didn’t get as much traction from the Umbrella Academy fandom as I would have liked. Probably because most of my writer friends are Not Into It, which doesn’t give me many people to bounce ideas off 
New York: Become Human - there’s a LOT more story here to tell... maybe we’ll tell it.
Rejoice in the Sun - I started writing this fairly soon after Endgame, when I had a lot of feels, but between the absolute outpouring of hatred about that movie from the fandom. seriously, y’all were going all Annie Wilkes up in the house to the point that I put Endgame back on BLACKLIST to get away from the seething bile... it got really hard to enjoy post endgame content, and I got sick, too, so... that didn’t help any.
Once a Knight - Witch Bucky and Knight Tony... we have some more plot for this...
No Job Too Small - I think I even have another chapter of this WRITTEN. And some more plotted out. Tony and tiny children. What could go wrong?
(D)rift Away - Bigger Better Bugspray... what happens when the Rifters come back? There might be more of this, once I work out some plot. And honestly, stop getting distracted by the damn @heamarvel prompts.
The Door into Winter - I have a whole story for this, still working on it
Learning to Work Together (Good Omens) - we have some more feels for this, so possibly, if we can put plot together.
Pretty much everything else i’m posting in progress is still going strong, Blueberries, Hell Charger, Can’t Help you Fix Yourself, Reclamation, Draco Malfoy and the Rune... and I have a couple of other collabs with other people that are... bogged down with details right now.
We’ve got a couple of stories headed your way from the Marvel HEA Hallmark challenge, including what may well be my new favorite: Buck Barnes Got Married. We also wrote a Cyber Punk AU with companion Tony as an excuse to dress Tony up in skimpy outfits.
So, that’s like the general status of Old Fic... and having ideas is not the same as finding the time to sit down and WRITE them, especially since New Ideas are attacking me at the same time, honestly.
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wanlidas-archive · 5 years ago
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⇢  real name:   alden isaac mendler.
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⇢  single or taken:   single in most of his main verses.  he was briefly with enid,  though their relationship barely had the chance to get off the ground before he lost her.   ⇢  abilities or powers:  can throw a spear with perfect accuracy.  ⇢  eye color:  brown. ⇢  hair color:  light brown  /  blondish.   ⇢  family members:  parents,  abigail & warren mendler  ( both deceased. )  older brother,  benjamin mendler  ( deceased. )   ed sutton has been a father figure to him for years once he started training to be a blacksmith under him, along with his wife tammy rose ( deceased ) who was like a mother figure to him.  + adam sutton,  who feels like a brother to him,  who he helps ed take care of  ( & feels responsible for,  ever since the whisperers left him. )   ⇢  pets:   he never had a pet growing up,  but now he has his trusty horse that he doesn’t like to part with.  he doesn’t really think of her as a pet though,  rather a companion.   ⇢  something they don’t like:  violence.  he’s been a pacifist since losing his brother,  though that wasn’t always something he could follow being a savior.  he preferred to do everything he could without violence  ( not counting the dead, of course. )  he especially doesn’t like guns and always chooses weapons like spears, knives, anything else before guns.  ⇢  hobbies/activities:  creates art out of scraps of metal, wood, tools, etc.  sings for funerals, weddings, parties, in bars, etc. but never for money  ( and doesn’t think too highly of his singing voice, despite the fact that he is actually good. )  takes things apart and puts them back together.  designs buildings, constructs them.  loves to read & learn about history.  likes designing and creating weapons.  ⇢  ever hurt anyone before:  yes. ⇢  ever killed anyone before:  yes,  after his brother’s death when he let his anger get the better of him.  he was never in the position where he had to kill as a savior,  given that he wasn’t often a part of the more aggressive missions & mostly stayed behind to expand the outposts.  it was always something he feared though,  which is why he always tried to make himself useful in other places.  ⇢  worst habits:  when he feels like he’s been wronged in some way,  he can let his anger get the better of him.  while he normally focuses on what’s logically right +  the grand scheme of things,  whenever he’s angry,  he sometimes forgets to look at the bigger picture.  this is mostly seen with his petty comments towards lydia ------ he was just like her when he came to hilltop,  known as the enemy but desperately trying to prove himself to be better than that,  despite knowing he didn’t deserve a chance given where he came from.  it wasn’t fair for him to judge her,  but he was angry,  and when he’s angry / when he’s lost something important to him,  his judgement is clouded.   ⇢  role models:  ed sutton.  he hasn’t always been the best role model for him,  and he certainly hasn’t always agreed with his every decision  ( particularly when he attacked maggie,  but through helping him grow from that,  that’s when they got closer. )    he admires him for how he’s grown since he met him and from the life he’s lived.  he also really admires jesus.  he respected maggie so much but he didn’t always agree with her decisions or the way she went about things;  he knows that jesus didn’t necessarily want to be a leader,  but alden believed in him.  jesus gave him a chance,  and that’s something that alden never forgot.   ⇢  sexual orientation:  bisexual.  ⇢  thoughts on marriage/kids:   he definitely wants to get married & have kids someday.  he isn’t actively looking for someone,  and he believes that when he finds the right person it will all happen naturally,  but he definitely would like to find himself in this position eventually.  he definitely wants children,  but he also wants to make sure he’s bringing them into a safe world  ( or at least,  as safe as it can be given the circumstances. )  ⇢  fears:  he’s mostly scared of ending up in the wrong place again.  he has a future at hilltop;  there’s so much to build for himself and for the people there,  and he desperately wants to have value in a way that’s beneficial to everyone,  not just one person.  he’s scared of losing that purpose,  and he’s scared of his talents being used for bad again.   ⇢  style preferences:   boots,  t-shirt,  unbuttoned long sleeve over it with the sleeves rolled up.  more recently,  he tucks in his shirt + buttons it. ⇢  someone they love:  adam.  adam is so important to him,  ever since he heard him crying in the field and knew that his life was threatened.  and when ed and tammy rose took him in,  he automatically felt like family to him too.  he also loves tammy rose and ed.  and luke,  who he hasn’t known for long,  but has already become his best friend.  he and enid weren’t together for long enough for him to fall in love with her,  but she will always be that ‘ maybe ‘ in his mind.  ⇢  approach to friendships:  he refused to make any friends while he was in the sanctuary.  he knew it wasn’t worth it.  it was clear that most of the people there weren’t the kind of people he wanted in his life long term;  they were acquaintances of circumstances,  people he worked with but didn’t bond with.  it wasn’t until he could finally call hilltop ‘ home ‘ that he allowed himself to make real friends,  and now given that he’s such a trustworthy member of the community,  he has many.  before the apocalypse  ( and after too,  despite his time at the sanctuary )  he was always the kind of person who was hard not to like.  he gets along with mostly everyone,  but he’s not afraid to step on toes if he doesn’t agree with something.  ⇢  thoughts on pie:  he loves pie,  especially if tammy rose bakes it. ⇢  favorite drink:  he’s a beer guy,  but he never drinks a lot at once.  he also really likes tea. ⇢  favorite place to spend time at:  he likes to ride his horse through the open land,  and traveling around to look for more resources to expand his building.  otherwise,  he likes spending his time with the other blacksmiths at hilltop.  they’re the people he feels closest to,  outside of luke + the suttons.   ⇢  swim in the lake or in the ocean:  lake. ⇢  their type:  he doesn’t really have a type,  nor does he ever really seek out relationships.  he’s never been the type of guy who needs to be in a relationship or is actively looking to be in one.  rather,  he’s the kind of person who believes that upon finding the right person,  then things will fall together naturally.  he doesn’t have a type,  he just goes off of a feeling he can get from another.  when it’s right,  he just knows it is.  with enid,  he found someone who was passionate about the work she did + helping the community she lived in,  something he resonated with greatly ever since coming to hilltop,  so he was attracted to that.  
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lettersfrome · 4 years ago
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let’s meet pos! || may 14, 2021
to begin the shit show that is my life, i should probably introduce you to the lovely person that is my ex-boyfriend. i don’t want to put anyone on blast, so we’ll be using character names up in this bitch.
let’s call him luke.
i’m convinced that lovely ol’ luke is my soulmate, because there’s no way in hell my stubborn leo sun would still like him if he wasn’t. when i’m telling you this kid has caused me serious mental problems, i mean it. we had known each other for about three years before we met in person and guess what happened within those three years? he went through two girlfriends and happily flirted with me. not to mention, got nudes from me every night while dating the second girl. i’ve got to admit, maybe not the best thing to do on my part. but hey, i can’t take it back now. i was eighteen, and i wanted attention from the guy i liked.
he eventually moved to los angeles, where things heated up really quickly. i’m sure i’m forgetting a million little details, but here’s a summarized breakdown of what happened:
may 2018 - met in person for the first time
june 2018 - he came to my hotel room and we canoodled a little bit
july 2018 - he got with another girl, i stopped responding to him, he told me he didn’t even like her and that he missed me two weeks later
august 2018 - moved to la, i lost my virginity to him the day after i turned 19
we started hanging out and hooking up regularly but never made it official because he didn’t want to, he would be on tinder while hooking up with me
early january 2019 - he ended things with me because he no longer had feelings for me, even though he fucked me the last week of 2018
march 2019 - he comes back and apologizes to me, tells me that he’s ready to date when i am because he still has feelings for me and that he was just too depressed to even think about being with someone
april 2019 - we start dating
we’re happy for the most part
october 2019 - we break up because i ask him to stay in bed with me for another 5 minutes, he refuses, i go home and throw a tantrum and tell him i want to take a break, he agrees, i regret it, he doesn’t, we break up
december 2019 - he comes back again because he misses me and we get back together
march 2020 - we break up because i ask him to go to my friend lauren’s birthday party with me but he decides to stay at home with his best friend since he feels like he doesn’t have enough time to see his friends because he has a girlfriend
march 2020 - he comes back like 20 days later because he says that he just can’t stop thinking about me and there’s no one else he wants to be with and he kept asking for signs and got them
i refuse to get back with him because i can’t trust him, his friend (we’ll call this buddy aaron) tries to convince me to get back together and i almost do, but then aaron tells me that luke lied about a girl asking him out so i don’t
i now decide that i need to try and be single (willingly) to see if there’s anyone i like more than luke. while doing so, i still continue to see luke and i occasionally kiss him here and there. i tell him that i never wanna get back together with him, and that he should move on all while still kissing him and telling him that i love him and will probably marry him.
august 2020 - i start talking to sebastian who i had previously talked to in july 2018. he’s practically an off-brand luke, but he’s glo-ed up a little bit since. he’s a cute guy, just not tall enough and a bit too shy for me.
luke doesn’t like me talking to another guy, and gets his feelings hurt. i stop seeing luke in person because i realize i keep hooking up with him. i tell him to move on, he says no.
october 2020 - i meet sebastian in person, we go see a movie together and he barely makes a move. kind of disappointing but i do really like him. i liked that it was new, i get sort of tired of luke and barely have the motivation to respond to him at times. i know deep down that i still love him and want him, but i still want to get with sebastian. little do i know, luke meets someone at his work and slowly starts spending more time with her (let’s call her sunday). he doesn’t share a bunch of details about her, but i know him well enough to tell that he’s interested in her.
december 2020 - i have a huge mental breakdown and show up to luke’s house that is two hours away and cry the entire time about how much i love him and want him back. he says yes but wants to get back together right away. i disagree because i think we should take it slow. i need to end things with sebastian, who i had been slowly friendzoning for a while. i thought he should end things with sunday, because he had told her he liked her to which she responded telling him she felt the same.
january 2021 - new years happens and she asks him to hang out. he says no, but sees her the next day. i get upset when he doesn’t set a boundary, because he kept forcing me to set one with seb. we fight and decide we need space. we don’t talk for a week - he hangs out with her and kisses her. i call him and tell him i don’t want space. he disagrees and says he’s confused and thinks it’s good for us. luke refuses to see me in person.
we stay friends, and talk the same amount that we used to. i can tell it’s not the same. he starts spending more time with her. she meets his mom. luke and i send nudes nearly everyday, he still continues to flirt with me and tell me that he loves me. he tells me that he is still debating on what he should do, whether to pursue her or to get back with me. i get upset because i feel as though he’s having his cake and eating it too. seb tells me that he wants space to get over me so he can be my friend. i tell luke that he needs to pick between sunday and i. if he doesn’t see me in person in two weeks, i was done.
he doesn’t see me.
february 2021 - we’re not speaking. he goes out with her on valentine’s day, which he told me he hated. i keep the snapchat streak going, but its pretty much just blank screens from him. i occasionally ask him how he’s doing, to which he doesn’t ask me how i’m doing. one time he even leaves me on read as i try talking to him.
march 2021 - i killed the snapchat streak. he had really upset me one day when i had good intentions, and i just gave up on him.
april 2021 - i remove him off my private snapchat story and my private instagram. i keep him on my instagram close friends, just in case. almost as if i “forgot to remove him.”
and now, in may 2021, we haven’t talked at all since. he still has my nudes saved on snapchat. he still has our playlists saved. he still follows me on instagram, twitter, facebook, and snapchat. i can see sunday commenting and liking his posts, which kind of breaks my heart a little. i’m very used to him and i breaking up and making up that this almost feels fake. i guess we’ll see what happens, and whether or not he comes back.
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eeeeturrd · 4 years ago
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an introduction to pos | may 6, 2021
to begin the shit show that is my life, i should probably introduce you to the lovely person that is my ex-boyfriend. i don't want to put anyone on blast, so we'll be using character names up in this bitch.
let's call him luke.
i'm convinced that lovely ol' luke is my soulmate, because there's no way in hell my stubborn leo sun would still like him if he wasn't. when i'm telling you this kid has caused me serious mental problems, i mean it. we had known each other for about three years before we met in person and guess what happened within those three years? he went through two girlfriends and happily flirted with me. not to mention, got nudes from me every night while dating the second girl. i've got to admit, maybe not the best thing to do on my part. but hey, i can't take it back now. i was eighteen, and i wanted attention from the guy i liked.
he eventually moved to los angeles, where things heated up really quickly. so, here's a breakdown of what happened:
may 2018 - met in person for the first time
june 2018 - he came to my hotel room and we canoodled a little bit
july 2018 - he got with another girl, i stopped responding to him, he told me he didn't even like her and that he missed me two weeks later
august 2018 - moved to la, i lost my virginity to him the day after i turned 19
we started hanging out and hooking up regularly but never made it official because he didn't want to, he would be on tinder while hooking up with me
early january 2019 - he ended things with me because he no longer had feelings for me, even though he fucked me the last week of 2018
march 2019 - he comes back and apologizes to me, tells me that he's ready to date when i am because he still has feelings for me and that he was just too depressed to even think about being with someone
april 2019 - we start dating
we're happy for the most part
october 2019 - we break up because i ask him to stay in bed with me for another 5 minutes, he refuses, i go home and throw a tantrum and tell him i want to take a break, he agrees, i regret it, he doesn't, we break up
december 2019 - he comes back again because he misses me and we get back together
march 2020 - we break up because i ask him to go to a birthday party with me but he decides to stay at home with his best friend since he feels like he doesn't have enough time to see his friends because he has a girlfriend
march 2020 - he comes back like 20 days later because he says that he just can't stop thinking about me and there's no one else he wants to be with and he kept asking for signs and got them
i refuse to get back with him because i can't trust him, his friend (we'll call this buddy aaron) tries to convince me to get back together and i almost do, but then aaron tells me that luke lied about a girl asking him out so i don't
i now decide that i need to try and be single (willingly) to see if there's anyone i like more than luke. while doing so, i still continue to see luke and i occasionally kiss him here and there. i tell him that i never wanna get back together with him, and that he should move on all while still kissing him and telling him that i love him and will probably marry him.
august 2020 - i start talking to "sebastian" who i had previously talked to in july 2018. he's practically an off-brand luke, but he's glo-ed up a little bit since. he's a cute guy, just not tall enough and a bit too shy for me.
luke doesn't like me talking to another guy, and gets his feelings hurt. i stop seeing luke in person because i realize i keep hooking up with him. i tell him to move on, he says no.
october 2020 - i meet sebastian in person, we go see a movie together and he barely makes a move. kind of disappointing but i do really like him. i liked that it was new, i get sort of tired of luke and barely have the motivation to respond to him at times. i know deep down that i still love him and want him, but i still want to get with sebastian. little do i know, luke meets someone at his work and slowly starts spending more time with her (let's call her sunday). he doesn't share a bunch of details about her, but i know him well enough to tell that he's interested in her.
december 2020 - i have a huge mental breakdown and show up to luke's house that is two hours away and cry the entire time about how much i love him and want him back. he says yes but wants to get back together right away. i disagree because i think we should take it slow. i need to end things with sebastian, who i had been slowly friendzoning for a while. i thought he should end things with sunday, because he had told her he liked her to which she responded telling him she felt the same.
january 2021 - new years happens and she asks him to hang out. he says no, but sees her the next day. i get upset when he doesn't set a boundary, because he kept forcing me to set one with seb. we fight and decide we need space. we don't talk for a week - he hangs out with her and kisses her. i call him and tell him i don't want space. he disagrees and says he's confused and thinks it's good for us. luke refuses to see me in person.
we stay friends, and talk the same amount that we used to. i can tell it's not the same. he starts spending more time with her. she meets his mom. luke and i send nudes nearly everyday, he still continues to flirt with me and tell me that he loves me. he tells me that he is still debating on what he should do, whether to pursue her or to get back with me. i get upset because i feel as though he's having his cake and eating it too. seb tells me that he wants space to get over me so he can be my friend. i tell luke that he needs to pick between sunday and i. if he doesn't see me in person in two weeks, i was done.
he doesn't see me.
february 2021 - we're not speaking. he goes out with her on valentine's day, which he told me he hated. i keep the snapchat streak going, but its pretty much just blank screens from him. i occasionally ask him how he's doing, to which he doesn't ask me how i'm doing. one time he even leaves me on read as i try talking to him.
march 2021 - i killed the snapchat streak. he had really upset me one day when i had good intentions, and i just gave up on him.
april 2021 - i remove him off my private snapchat story and my private instagram. i keep him on my instagram close friends, just in case. almost as if i "forgot to remove him."
and now, in may 2021, we haven't talked at all since. he still has my nudes saved on snapchat. he still has our playlists saved. he still follows me on instagram, twitter, spotify, facebook, and snapchat. i can see sunday commenting and liking his posts, which kind of breaks my heart a little. i guess we'll see what happens.
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fanficksandimagines · 7 years ago
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“I’m just a fuck up.” - E.D.
A/N: Here’s another Ethan Dolan Imagine for you all to enjoy.
 I’m sorry for not posting for this long, I've been busy, and I actually was supposed to write and draw a decoration planing for school, but you know what? School can wait and give me some rest because I've been stressing too much lately. This imagine includes some sadly popular topics that you can hear all around. There’s mentioning of under aged alcohol usage and drugs.
Word count: 2218
Ethan Dolan Imagine. ( I promise the next one will be Grayson)
Warning: Alcohol, drugs (As previously mentioned) self-consciousness. 
Quote of the imagine:
“ Yeah, sometimes you make poor choices, but it won’t make me hate you.”
The peace of the night interrupted by loud music beaming from speakers so loud you could clearly hear the lyrics through the house walls just standing on the other side of the street. Yeah, I could clearly hear Kendrick Lamar singing Humble all the way here. “Ugh.” I let out, indicating that I didn’t want to be in this spot, not even near here. My phone started ringing in my pocket. I picked it up right away not bothering to check the identity of the caller. “What?” I asked bothered. “Where are you?” I heard my friend Vanessa shout through the phone over the same lyrics I was hearing here. “I’m here.” I grunted unamused. “Where ‘here’?” she kept shouting. “Outside the house.”
“Well then come inside.” She said in a duh tone. I took in a deep breath still over thinking, should I attend this party or not. You see I’m the kind of person that doesn’t get invited to parties. I’m not popular, I don’t have boys drooling over me, and I don’t smoke and party all the time. I prefer staying in my room reading books and painting, the most exciting part of my life being my mind with the endless amount of fantasy. For once I was invited to a party my classmates were throwing. I found it sketchy, until I figured out that everyone from class was invited by our teachers demand. “Alright.” I said and ended the call. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. I crossed the street and walked up to the door. There was no point in knocking so I went right in. I was greeted by Vanessa, my closest friend in class, she was talking to Eva. “Finally you’re here.” Nessa said smiling and giving me a hug. “Yeah.” I smiled back. “Hey!” Eva greeted also giving me a hug. “We have a new arrival!” I heard Ethan cheer behind me making me jump slightly. “Here’s a drink for you Y/n.” He handed me the infamous red cup. It was clear that he was intoxicated. “What’s in this?” I asked looking at the dark liquid. “Honestly, I’m not sure. Something with a lot of vodka.” He informed a hiccup interrupting him. “Thanks.” I smiled, holding the cup in my hand, not thinking about drinking it. He walked away after one of the other guys called his name. “Okay, remember to party.” Nessa said patting my cheek. We had had an argument previously that day. The topic being this party and my pessimistic view on it. She still seemed pissed about it. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll probably leave in 20 minutes.” I said sarcastically. “You know what? Fuck you. I’ll go have fun with others since you’re clearly no fun today. Have fun on your own.” She spat walking away. Great. I walked through the unfamiliar house, alone with my red cup, trying to find a place to just hide away and spend my night on the phone.
Later through the night I saw Vanessa talking to the popular girls, she was clearly drunk. The all looked at me and laughed turning back around. I stood up from my spot and walked somewhere in the kitchen, finding the table that held all of the alcohol. Somehow, where the alcohol was, Ethan was. I won’t lie, seeing my crush slightly drunk was amusing. “Y/n! Want a drink?” he asked spotting me. “You know what? Fuck it. Give it to me.” I said taking the red cup and drowning the unknown liquid all at once. It was burning my throat like hell, but it felt pretty good. I put the cup down. “Good right? You need to ease up, baby.” Even if I had a huge crush on him, his words didn’t really affect me, he was known for his flirty personality and charisma.
The party was going on full blast, Ethan got me drunk. Not completely wasted, no, I was only in a carousel. We were in the same drunken state, holding each other up as we were talking about some stupid stuff no one cared about, except for us. “Yo, Eth? Come outside. Ed has some good stuff.” Luke said mentioning for Ethan, who was holding me up, to go outside. “I’ll be back. You good?” he asked as I held on the wall to steady myself. “Yeah. Just don’t be out there for too long.” I warned smiling. After Ethan walked outside, I talked to some other people. From them I heard that the guys that went outside were doing drugs, which made my stomach turn. I didn’t like that at all. Getting drunk, I didn’t mind, but drugs is a whole other story. After a little while Ethan still hadn’t shown up. The talk in the group died out and they all went somewhere else, leaving me alone. I was sobering up, meaning that my mind started to work somewhat properly again. Ethan doing drugs was scaring me. I cared about the guy more than ever, maybe I didn’t show it, but it doesn’t mean that it was all false. I decided to walk out to the backyard and check on them that were still there. I walked out through the same door they all went through. As I stepped in the cold night air, my skin was covered in goosebumps. I looked around the place, it was empty. Then I noticed a dull light coming from the small shed. I walked over to it and knocked on the door before walking in. It was only Ethan, Grayson and Edgar there. Grayson was lying in a bean bag, seemingly passed out while Ethan was giggling about something. Edgar on the other hand seemed worried. “What are you doing here?” he asked nervously, yet sharply. “Nothi-“ I started before I saw that Ethan wasn’t laughing, he was crying. “What’s wrong with him?” I asked cutting off my answer. “I don’t know, that’s why I didn’t let him go back inside. I think he took some of the pills I said not to. He hasn’t said a word in like 10 minutes. Before that he kept saying that it was hurting.” Edgar stood right in front of me his voice low and filled with worry. “What was hurting?” I asked my heartbeat picking up its speed as I got nervous. “I don’t know, he just kept repeating that he’s in pain. I don’t know what he took. I told him not to touch anything.” He explained pushing his hand through his hair nervously. “And what’s up with Grayson?” I asked seeing his calm body lying in the corner on the bean bag. “He just fell asleep, he was too drunk to smoke.” Edgar said. “What do we do with Ethan?” He asked again. “Ethan, hey! Can you tell me what’s wrong?” I asked pushing Edgar to the side and walking over to him. He didn’t even look up at me. “Ethan, talk. Please.” I said placing my hand on his wrist as he was holding his face, covering it. “Hurts.” Was all he said. Suddenly Edwin grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the small shed. “What are you doing? He needs help.” I said confused. “That’s why I did it. He doesn’t seem to be in the mood to talk. What do we do?” he questioned. “I don’t know. Maybe we should call an ambulance or something.” I tried to think. “We can’t do that!” Ed refused. “Why? Ethan is in pain. We need to get help for him.” I stated the obvious. “Don’t you get it? We’re all under aged and drunk, we can get in serious trouble for this!” he had a point. “Wait. You said that Ethan took some type of pills, right?”
“Yeah, I just don’t know which ones.” He was frustrated. I stormed back inside back to Ethan. “Eth, can you stand up?” I asked kneeling down beside him. He tried to stand up, clearly his head was dizzy, I stood up and put his arm around my shoulder to help. “We’ll go outside and you’ll have to listen to me, okay?” I instructed him as we made our way outside. “Go get water and paper towels.” I said to Edgar, whilst walking Ethan behind the shed. “You’ll have to throw up, alright? We need to get those pills out of you.” I informed still scared for him. He pushed his fingers in his mouth gagging. “Common. Think about anchovies.” I said remembering his hate for the food. “Here.” Edgar came back around, and as I turned to face him to take the water bottle I heard Ethan throwing up. He threw up a lot, seemingly getting out everything he had in his organism. Edgar had gone back in the small house, feeling guilty for letting his best friend go to this state. I patted Ethans back handing him the paper towel. He whipped his mouth spitting a few times. “Here.” I said handing him the water bottle that I had already opened for him. He took a sip and spit it out rinsing his mouth and trying to get the awful taste out. Then he drank a bit of the water, straightening his posture. “You okay now?” I asked still concerned about his wellbeing. “Better, yeah.” He said his voice radiating shame. “I’m sorry you had to see this.” He whispered obviously tired. “I think you should go home.” I informed as I saw his exhausted face. “No. I can’t do that. My parents will kill me. They already hate my guts.” I knew all about it. I wasn’t stalking him, don’t get this the wrong way. Sometimes we just had these conversations; he opened up about stuff he didn’t talk about to others. He had trouble with his family, all of these misunderstanding and fights, parents getting a divorce, the uneasy and sad atmosphere he had to live in at home had led to drinking and drug using. “Well then come to my house. No one is home anyways. You need to get some rest.” I stated the obvious. He seemed to think about it. “Why do you care Y/n? No offense, but just… why? Others would’ve just left me there. Forgotten about me. But you just show up and take care like it’s your job. Why? Why would you care about a fuck-up like me?” His words fell over his lips like poison. “I just care. You’re not a fuck-up, Ethan.” I didn’t know what to say. I was at a loss of words. “Why can’t you just hate me like everyone else?” he asked angrily. “Well I just can’t, okay? You’re not a fuck-up and I don’t hate you, like it or not. I care about your well-being. Yeah, sometimes you make poor choices, but it won’t make me hate you.” I started pouring words from my heart not my head for once. “Why?” he spat. “Because I can’t control my heart. I love you god demit! Even if you are a fuck-up.” My voice was angry and breathing heavy. Only after that I realized what I had said. Ethan was quiet and standing still like he had cold water poured all over and I’d freeze him. My heart was pounding and cheeks burning, what did I just do? “Crap.” I whispered under the pressure of all the tension surrounding us. “How can you- how can you even consider liking someone like me? Someone so shitty and stupid? I’m never good enough for anyone. I always fuck things up and I always fail. I- I just don’t understand what could you possibly like about me.” His head was hanging low as he was going over his words. You have to agree, It’s heart breaking to see someone thinking like this about themselves. “Your smile.” I whispered, but he heard. Ethan let out a chuckle signaling his disbelief. “I like that you care about others and put your brother before yourself. I like that, no matter what others say you’ll still do what makes you happy, and won’t let their opinion get in the way. Honestly there’s a lot to like about you, I just don’t want to sound like a stalker or something.” I had cut myself off before I went into rambling. He let out another chuckle. “I don’t believe that, though… And if we would ever be a couple you’d realize it.” He said while sitting down on a rock that stood by the corner of the shed. “What if I wouldn’t?” I questioned wondering. “See, the best part about this conversation is that there is no way you can prove me wrong.” He stated looking up at me from his spot. “There is.” I informed confidently. “And that’d be?” he asked yawning. “Let me take you on a date.” I dropped my words. There was nothing to lose, really. Ethan did look a bit taken back. “Shouldn’t I be the one taking you out?” he questioned. “Is that a nice way of saying ‘no’?” I raised my eyebrow. “No, no, no, no. It’s a yes, I’m just- I just never thought that a girl would ask me out on a date.” He said standing up and brushing his pants. Wait, he said yes? “It’s definitely a yes.”
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arwenkenobi48 · 7 years ago
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The Feral Opress Headcanon Masterpost
Now updated and expanded!
Canon Star Wars Timeline:
Feral was the youngest son of Mother Talzin. He was born almost two months premature and had a twin who died at birth. Feral himself almost died because he was very weak. Talzin rejected him because of this. However, the Nightsister Kycina believed there was hope for him and raised him in secret. Once he was strong enough, she delivered him to the Nightbrothers, directly to Savage Opress.
Feral was very quiet and shy as a child, preferring to stay Savage’s side. He would cry at the slightest thing, resulting in his peers calling him a crybaby. Savage would defend him every time.
There are a large number of blue moth-like insects that live on Dathomir, in the caves surrounding the Nightbrothers’ village. Feral watched them when they come out at night. They often settle on his nose and/or horns.
Feral was a late bloomer when he reached adolescence. He even still had four of his milk teeth. As a result, his markings developed later than other Nightbrothers and it made him very self conscious and physically uncomfortable. Poor little babby </3
Feral, like most Nightbrothers, was illiterate until he became a tribal leader, alongside Savage. Even now he can barely count past 23.
Feral was born on a leap year. Technically, although he should be 20, he’s only 5 years old. <3
AU: A Galaxy Far Far Away
Feral is never choked by Savage. Instead, he tags along with Obi-Wan and Anakin, is taken to Coruscant and starts a new life as a Republic officer. He becomes friends with Ahsoka and gets along very well with the Clone troopers. He and Rex also happen to fall in love, as well. <3
Feral has a crush on a fellow Nightbrother, Lash, but doesn’t meet him again until the latter becomes a bounty hunter and finds work on Kamino training Clone cadets.
On one occasion, Feral is captured by Separatist spies, frozen in carbonite and transported to the remote system of Tau Cheti. The planet of Tau Prime - located on the edge of Wild Space - is home to a race of hostile bird-like aliens who have a deep hatred for Zabraks.
Feral barely makes it out of there alive. Lash teams up with Rex, Ahsoka and Anakin to rescue him and they succeed! :D
After finding Savage again, Feral stows away on board the ship that takes them to Lotho Minor. He and Savage have a tearful reunion.
When he finds Maul, Feral is horrified, to say the least. He’s even more shaken up when he realises his home world is in ruins. After Maul is healed, Feral is further frightened by his lust for revenge.
After Obi-Wan is captured, poor Feral finds himself torn between his loyalty to his brothers and the Republic. In the lightsaber fight between Jedi and Sith, Feral loses his right hand to Maul’s lightsaber. He would have lost more if he hadn’t escaped with Obi-Wan and Ventress.
Feral later receives a prosthetic hand, but the poor bab is still very upset. He can’t stop thinking about Savage and Maul. During this difficult time, he meets Yoda and discovers that he is Force sensitive like his brothers. Although he is too old to begin Jedi training, Feral gets an idea of what it’s like from Ahsoka.
After having a vision of Savage’s death on Mandalore, Feral travels to the war-torn planet, much against the will of everyone else. There, he tries to persuade Savage to join him and the Republic. However, he is shot by a Death Watch Commando. The shot doesn’t kill him, but he loses consciousness and Savage, grief-stricken, believes he is dead.
Taken back to the Republic by Obi-Wan, Feral remains comatose for a few weeks. When he regains consciousness, he is heartbroken to learn that Savage is dead. He constantly blames himself for not being able to save his brother. Try as they might, neither Rex nor Ahsoka can console him. </3
When Ahsoka travels to Mandalore to fight Maul after leaving the Jedi Order, Feral goes with her and Rex. There, he and Maul fight once again. Maul ignores Feral’s pleas to join him. Feral bravely states that he has no hatred for Maul and forgives him, hoping that they may meet again someday.
Sure enough, Maul and Feral do meet again by the time of the Rebellion. After Maul’s redemption, he joins Feral in Phoenix Squadron. In that same Rebel cell, Feral reunites with Rex, Ahsoka and Lash, who has become an A-Wing pilot.
Feral survives the Battle of Scarif, the Battle of Yavin, the Battle of Hoth AND the battle of Endor! :D He and Rex are overjoyed that the Empire has fallen and they both live peaceful lives.
Feral, Maul and Rex all pass away on the same day. About twelve years before the events of The Force Awakens, all three of them die peacefully in their sleep. (sry if this is too sad)
AU: Legend of the Night Watcher
Feral and Savage both live relatively normal lives on Coruscant, running a small delivery service.
However, Feral dresses up as a vigilante every night and goes to fight crime in the Coruscant underworld, earning himself the alias of the Night Watcher.
Nobody else knows the Night Watcher’s true identity except for Savage and Maul, who is the ruler of Mandalore. Maul is openly proud of Feral, whereas Savage is very protective and wants Feral to be safe, despite his risky job.
Feral is notably more confident and sassy in this AU, but he’s still the cinnamon roll we all know and love. <3
He and Rex are married as well :D
AU: At Home With The Zabrak Brothers
Feral lives a normal suburban life with his brothers and spends his days playing the guitar in the streets, singing Ed Sheeran songs and the like. He hopes to become a professional musician someday. <3
He is obsessed with Luke Skywalker and watches the Original Trilogy on an almost daily basis. He even has the Jedi’s name tattooed onto his abs in Korean script. XD
Feral vapes frequently, mostly just to annoy Maul when he’s reading so he can blow a huge cloud of steam into his face. :D
His relationship with Mother Talzin is shaky, to say the least. She barely even knows his name half the time.
Feral has a red panda plushie named Luke Skywalker, which he sleeps with every single night <3 In addition to his, he still uses a pacifier and Savage reads and/or sings to him at bedtime.
Feral loves Disney movies and listening to trap music. He always sings in the car when he and his bros are travelling somewhere. Savage now has A Whole New World stuck in his head for eternity XD
Feral has two exotic shorthair cats named Nightwish and Starset, after his favourite bands. Yep, Feral listens to some pretty hardcore music XD Those cats are spoiled rotten and Feral pampers them and pets them so much that he’s basically turned them into bratty sentient pillows that follow him around demanding treats 24/7.
Feral is addicted to junk food. When Savage bought a giant box of cookies, Feral snuck into the kitchen in the middle of the night and ate them one by one for about three months solid before he was busted.
He once mistook wasabi for guacamole, which eventually led to him and his brothers being thrown out of Itsu.
In this AU, Feral is basically a big kid. He eats messy, is super innocent and loves playing and having a good time.
AU: YouTuber Life
In this AU, Feral and his bros are youtubers, of course :3
Feral has his own solo channel, called Forever Feral. It’s basically a little like dangmattsmith. Video topics include mini-vlogs, reactions, life hack experiments and LEGO Star Wars gameplay. Feral has his plushie with him in every single video :D
A number of Feral’s videos contain little skits in which he plays three different characters: Luke Skywalker, (the plushie), Inspector Whitby, his Sherlock-esque British alter-ego and Tariq, a blue dragon that speaks in verse and lives in an Arabian magic lamp.
Feral also has a channel that he shares with his brothers, just called The Zabrak Brothers, which has vlogs, Battlefront 2 gameplay and sketch comedies.
Feral has a habit of making cute commentaries on everything and has become famous for his catchphrase: “Sheesh-kebabs!” which he says whenever something dramatic happens.
AU: Nightbrothers: Ghosts of Dathomir
This AU is basically an alternate ending for the Son of Dathomir comics, tied in to A Galaxy Far Far Away in some aspects, as Feral and the other Nightbrothers are all relatively safe there (well Feral is anyways) until the Shadow Collective and Separatists bring the war back to their world. Instead of being exterminated, however, the Nightbrothers simply escape and try to find their own place in the Galaxy.
During the age of the Empire, Feral returns with his brethren to Dathomir, only to find the entire place populated with Nightsister Ghosts. After Brother Viscus resurrects Savage via an eerie blood-theme ritual, Feral explains what’s been happening to his brother as best he can, but the poor bab is pretty much traumatised by all the spooky stuff happening around him. Nonetheless, he joins his fellow Nightbrothers as they basically become the Star Wars equivalent of Ghostbusters and seek to purge Dathomir of the Ghosts and leave the past behind. 
Feral is rather skittish and meek in this AU, but has something of a boastful streak despite that. He’ll claim to be hard to scare, then cling to Savage screaming “Mommy!” Not ideal when you’re a ghost hunter XD
Misc/General Headcanons
Feral is gay and asexual. He’s been questioning his sexual orientation since he reached puberty and it’s taken him some time to come to terms with it, but he’s happy with it <3
Feral is also a demiboy and only feels vaguely connected to the male gender. He’s pretty much always known what he was feeling, but couldn’t find the words to describe it until recent years. Sometimes he worries that he ends up supporting the ‘flamboyant gay’ stereotype, but Savage and/or his S.O. reminds him that he’s perfect just the way he is <3
Feral will always be a kid at heart. He might have brief moments of cynicism but overall he has a very innocent and optimistic outlook on life.
Feral is on the autism spectrum (possibly Aspergers, but nobody’s really sure). He also has a bit of social anxiety, but the stronger his connection to someone, the easier communication is :)
Canon fact about Feral that few people know: 
He was only 20 when a certain event happened... </3
So yeah, this is it, finally completed! Yay! :D Hope everyone enjoys this! <3 May the Force be with you, always :)
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donttellpeterparker · 7 years ago
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New Text Message
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Summary: You and Peter don’t really get along irl... but texting? Well that’s a different story ;)
Requested: Yes
Word Count: 1.9k
Taglist: @cutie1365 @luke-the-princess @that70skiwi @mang0fruitblast @fairydustparker @fortheloveoflamp @jamesbuckybananabarnes @nikitajackson @sleepspindles
Want to be on the taglist?: here
Warning(s)?: Minor swearing, complete fluff
masterlist (x) requests (x)
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Part 2
New Text Message
With one last groan you shut the door to your locker, your contents back where they belong. You were grateful school was over for the day, it may only be Monday but you always found Monday's to be the slowest days. You shot a smile to your friend down the hall before turning around to begin walking out the school doors. You popped in ear phone in your ear and played Ed sheeran -Galway girl. 
''Hey watch it!'' You shouted once you felt someone bump into you. You remove the ear piece from your ear and turn around to face the stranger with an angry expression. 
''You should really watch out for your surroundings Parker'' You spoke up once you realised it was Peter. Unfortunately that annoying kid that seemed to be in most of your classes. You rolled your eye at the boy once you heard no response, seeing the shock written across his face.
You heard a familiar beep from your phone. You quickly reached a hand into your pocket and pulled out your phone, reading the message that had came through.
''Friggin connection'' You muttered out as you turned around and began to walk away again. You always got crappy reception at school for some reason so receiving messages were always delayed. You continued walking down the path, taking the corner to walk towards home. 
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A smile followed by a faint blush appeared across your features. You wiped the edge of your sweater across your face, smiling to yourself like an idiot. You began to type back a reply, your heart racing through your fingertips.
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You waited anxiously for a reply. In the mean time you popped your phone back into your jacket pocket, beginning to nod your head to the song as it continued to play through your ear phones. You even had a little skip in your step. 
Texting him had always made your day. 
It was weird really... The way he seemed to make your smile without even trying. You wish you had some sort of clue to who he was but decided not to bother finding out. You got a random text one night from an unknown number, one specifically asking for web-shooters. You laughed at your phone by typing back a response. The guy on the other need quickly found out he had the wrong number and apologised profusely. 
Wait... web shooters? ~Y/N
Yeah. ~Unknown
Kinky ~Y/N
With that last message you laugh to yourself and so does he. From that night on you guys continued to message each other... every night, without fail. It started off first with just casual greetings, asking each other how their day went. It wasn’t until one night, roughly around 12:23am when you guys began to have a deep conversation was when you really began to connect with him. 
Through the days that had turned to weeks, then slowly turn to months you guys had found out more and more about each other. You have always wondered upon who this mysterious guy was but decided not to worry, you had a good thing going why ruin it? 
He thought very differently. wanting to know you so badly it had him hooked. It was weird... he felt almost drawn to you through his phone. He hadn’t even met you for crying out loud. How did he know you weren’t a 40 year old man?
Let’s facetime ~Web-boy
Umm... why?~ Y/N
Cause... I want to actually make sure that the person I’ve practically been flirting with for the past three weeks isn’t some creep pedophile or something ~Web-boy
You laughed at your phone as you rolled over in your bed, rolling over to your stomach. You bit your lip, contemplating whether or not to do it. You’ve been dying to see what he looks like but you were too nervous. 
I’ll call you ~Y/N
You waited for a response. After waiting a minute without one you rang, assuming that was okay.
Instead of facetiming you just decided to call the cell, the phone picking up on the second ring.
‘‘Hey’‘ A male voice spoke through the line causing you to giggle. 
‘‘Hi...’‘ You spoke up, raising a thumb to your lip to nervously bite your nail. You heard soft chuckling in the background and smiled to yourself. He had a nice laugh.
‘‘How are you?’‘ He spoke up, causing a bigger smile to spread across your face.
‘‘I’m good...’‘ You replied, feeling nervous but excited at the same time. You guys had spoken for exactly 2 hours and 36 minutes that night, growing more comfortable with talking to each other with each fleeting moment. By the end of the night your stomach and face were hurting from laughing and smiling so much. 
You had thought that maybe your silly little crush would go away once you rang him. You thought he would actually turn out to be an old man or... in fact a girl. But instead he sounded like a dorky teenager like yourself. Which made you fall for him even more. 
The following night you he had decided to call you. He had debated with himself about for a good half an hour, thinking you might be creeped out if he just randomly rang you.
He just really wanted to talk to you, to hear your voice again. He got over it and typed the number so fast and press the green button before he could even blink. 
You answered happily once you saw the familiar name flash across your phone screen. You were in the middle of completing your homework but put it aside, picking up the phone with a smile.
‘‘Hi stranger’‘ You said cheerily into the phone. You softly laughed, grinning from ear to ear at your greeting.
He stayed silent on the other line, listening to your soft laugh thinking it was the most gorgeous sound in the world. He smiled to himself, finally realising he was falling deeper and deeper for the girl. 
A few months had passed and talking had soon turned into flirting. It was awkward at first but soon grown comfortable. He would share his cheesy pick up lines with you that he had came up with during class and message you them straight away, causing a vibration to grow through your pocket. Sneakily you’d pull out your phone, reading the message with a smile and a laugh. Occasionally you would catch someones attention and turn bright red, quickly popping the phone back into your pocket.
Not a week later you guys had decided to drop clues to each other. You guys would slowly share more and more information. 
Okay... So your name starts with a P? ~Y/N
Yes. ~Web-boy
hmm... Piper? ~Y/N
wtf no XD ~Web-boy
Just checking... ~Y/N
I’m a BOY ~Web-boy
oKaY ~Y/N
You eventually found out that his actual name was Peter. You sighed to yourself, a familiar Peter flashing through your mind. He had notice your abruptness and had texted you what was up. That was when you decided to speak about Peter to him... well more like complain. 
I actually know a guy called Peter and oh my gosh he is the most annoying human being on the face of the earth ~Y/N
That’s a tad on the dramatic side but okay ~Web-boy
After a while you would hint out the first letter of your name and he would begin to guess your name, getting it right on the third go. 
No freaking way... I know a Y/N and I swear she is the bitchest girl I have ever met ~Web-boy
Well obvi she hasn’t met me XD ~Web-boy
XD ~Web-boy
But really... every time I talk to her or even approach her she gives me this look like I had just ruined her favourite shirt or something ~Web-boy
Neither of you had twigged yet. You just smiled to yourself as he seemed to go on and on about this Y/N chick. He seemed to really dislike her, so much you began to question if he even disliked her at all. That thought caused jealousy to seep through your veins. 
You know you talk about her alot ~Y/N
I do? ~Web-boy
Yeah... ~Y/N
Eventually you guys had decided not to talk about these people anymore, realising they were actually shifting a wedge between you guys. Peter agreed, not liking the idea of you talking about this other guy as much as you hated him talking about this other girl. 
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You froze and stopped where you stood. This was the first time either one of you had openly admitted to arrange a meet. You guys had told each other multiple times how badly you wanted to see the other but never had the courage to ask or sort something. 
You began to move your feet again and walked up to your front door, twisting it open once you had left the elevator. You closed the door behind you before heading into your bedroom, your eyes not leaving your phone screen. 
You could feel your heart inside your chest begin to race. Your palms began to ge sweaty as you walked over to your bed, soaking up the sun that began to pour through your window.
Unfortunately your happiness was short lived once you heard the familiar racket from next door. You groaned and tossed your phone aside, getting up off you bed to walk over to your window. Coincidentally enough for you, Peter Parker happened to live right across from you. 
You slammed your hands against the window Sill, looking over into his bedroom to see him mucking around with one his retro things. 
‘‘Hey!’‘ You called out to him. He immediately stopped what he was doing an spun around. 
‘‘Turn that shit off will you?’‘ You asked sarcastically with a tight lipped smile. 
‘‘Y/N... always a charmer’‘ Peter replies sarcastically, grudgingly turning his music down for your liking. You smiled over to him and drew your curtains closed blocking both of your guys view.
You walked back over to your bed and picked up your phone, opening the message as your fingers froze against the screen. You weren’t sure what to type back. You knew what you wanted to type back. 
Sure. When? ~Y/N
You bit your lip nervously as soon as you hit the send button. Unknowingly to you, just a few hundred yards from you Peter’s phone went off, a smile instantly making it’s way onto his face. He read the message over and over, not believing that this was actually happening. 
Movies? The new it movie’s out. ~Web-boy
You smiled to yourself as you read the message. 
Okay. When? ~Y/N
Tonight. ~Web-boy
Your eyes widen at his request. He wants to meet tonight? As in within the next 24 hours? You nervously popped your phone down and rushed over to your wardrobe, sifting through for the perfect outfit to wear- you halted.
He just wanted to meet it’s not like it was a date or anything so you probably should just go in the clothes your in. Yousmiled to yourself at that and just decided to stay as you where, bouncing back over to your bed to pick up your phone.
6th and main? ~Y/N
6th and main. ~Web-boy
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A/N: Here’s part 1 to your request Anon! Part two will be coming soonnnnn :))) x
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beautyisyours · 4 years ago
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BONES GOES COUNTRY
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(Side note: it’s so weird how things change but stay the same. Now I am constantly scolded for putting acts on our show that aren’t “country” enough. So, like in real life, I never really fit in perfectly on the radio, either. I may be the only guy to play 2Pac into Luke Bryan into Lou Bega on a country station. I also bring in acts to perform on the country stations that aren’t country at all. I’ve had Ed Sheeran in performing live. Even Shaggy came in to do a couple of songs. Yeah, “It Wasn’t Me” Shaggy. The station managers were like “WTF?”)
Because Rod and I had been talking about my moving into a country format, I didn’t think it was all that odd when he invited me to the Country Music Awards in November. “I know you’re wanting to spread the word about your show,” Rod said. “So why don’t you come to Nashville? Everyone’s going to be in town at the same time. Station managers, company managers. Ordinarily it’d be tough to get all these people in the same room.”
He didn’t have to ask twice. I booked my Southwest flight and off I went to do my Top 40 show from the heart of country music, and hopefully get station managers to see it was a good fit for their stations. Almost as soon as I landed in Nashville, Rod and his team (from the company then known as Clear Channel but later rebranded iHeartMedia) were wining and dining me. Well, just dining me. They took me to so many awesome dinners and cool places it was freaky. Maybe they just like me, I thought to myself. But that wasn’t what it turned out to be at all.
On my second day in Nashville, Rod casually suggested we check out a shoot where all these top bands were doing national promos for our company. “Of course!” was my speedy reply. Tim McGraw was there; Lady Antebellum was there; Carrie Underwood was there. And everyone was super nice, and so clearly A-game. “Well, this is pretty cool,” I thought to myself. “I’m in Nashville to meet all of the bosses. And I get to see a few country stars, too!”
Right after I got done talking SEC football with Tim McGraw (and texting all of my friends, “I’ve been talking with Tim McGraw for the last twenty minutes about college football!”), Rod took me aside and gave me one of those serious the-police-are-outside-to-take-you-to-jail looks. “Listen,” he said. “You’re about to be hammered. They’re going to tell you something that will really shake you up. I shouldn’t even be telling you this, but I just
wanted to give you a warning, so brace yourself.”
What?
Thanks, Rod Phillips! I mean, what the heck did that mean? Was I about to get fired? You brought me out here to fire me? I imagined the worst flight home ever: being fired and then having to sit on a plane for two hours wondering why. I know it’s not customary for bosses to take their employees out to big fancy dinners and promo shoots if they are about to fire them, but common sense wasn’t floating around anywhere in my head in that moment.
It only got worse when I was taken over to a corner of the video shoot where huddled together was a group of bigwigs: Rod; John Ivey, the program director of KIIS FM in Los Angeles, one of the two biggest Top 40 stations in America; and Clay Hunnicutt, who was then the director of country for Clear Channel, were gathered around talking. They sat me down and said, “We want you to move to Nashville to be our national country morning show.”
And then I went deaf. Just like when something loud pops in your ears, I heard a loud beeeeeeep and then nothing after that. I was shocked. Their offer came out of nowhere for me. It was the last thing I was expecting. I really thought I was going to Nashville to pitch my Top 40 show, based in Austin, to any station manager who would listen—not to be asked if I wanted to broadcast the largest daily country morning show in the history of the format across tons of Clear Channel’s markets.
“Are you kidding?” was all I could manage to say. They took a picture of me as they asked me the question. In the photo, I’m pink haired (it was Breast Cancer Awareness Month) and my jaw was on the ground. I was shocked, sad, and slightly excited at the same time. In that order.
I didn’t say yes right away, not only because I was in shock but also because I really didn’t know how to feel about the offer. On the career side of things, I had built this entire “empire” in the pop format. It was a small empire, but it was definitely expanding. I had already accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to get a morning spot on Top 40 stations in New York or L.A. Elvis Duran and Ryan Seacrest had both just signed new contracts, and they weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. They were giants. But I was content in continuing to grow from where I was. In addition to my regular morning gig, I had started cohosting a new national sports show on Fox Sports Radio with tennis champ Andy Roddick. (Let me sidebar on Andy, who in addition to having become one of my best friends is also one of the most obnoxious
and best humans in the entire world. That dude can be a real dick on the tennis court or golf course. But man, he is a quality human being. One of the best people I’ve ever met.)
Despite the fact that I was comfortable with what I had done in Austin, I wasn’t stupid. I recognized that there was much more room for me to grow inside of country—the biggest format in America and one in which I felt comfortable because of my background and my deep appreciation for the music. But there was one other major factor that kept me from jumping at the promotion: I loved Austin. I mean I really loved Austin.
I was supposed to hate it, because I’m from Arkansas, and when you grow up in Arkansas, you are taught to hate Texas. Texas is the bigger and better brother—particularly when it comes to sports. So as an Arkansas sports fan, I was pretty wary when I first moved to Austin. But the people there are so great. The city embraced us, which was particularly unbelievable for as cool a place as Austin to do to a small gang of—well—idiots, who had never done a morning show like ours. In a city where everyone is always trying to be the biggest hipster in the room, my approach was always to keep it real. I mean I- hang-out-at-Chili’s-and-shop-at-Walmart real. And people loved us for it. I couldn’t imagine anything better.
I thanked the Clear Channel execs, who expected me to answer “yes” right away, and immediately went back to my hotel room, where I called Betty.
“You’re not going to believe what just happened,” I said to her. “I was just offered a national show from Nashville. They want me to move here and be the national country guy.”
I know that it had to be hard for her to hear, because the offer meant I would have to move away. I already wasn’t the easiest boyfriend in the world; a long-distance relationship would only make things more difficult. Still, because she cared about me so much, her immediate reaction was to think only of me.
“You have to do it,” she said.
It’s crazy just how supportive and unselfish she was. I don’t have that inside of me. But she did. She didn’t need to think about it. In a beat, her response was “You have to take the job.”
I was scared—not to go to country, because that was awesome. And not to go to Nashville, because Nashville’s awesome. It was because I had to kick down everything I had spent the last seven years building from the ground up and start all over. It felt very much like the move from Little Rock to Austin.
I’d never been there before, but I had to do it. “You’re right,” I said to Betty. “I have to do it.”
A few days later, I told the execs at Clear Channel that my answer was yes. Of course, it wasn’t quite as simple as that. These kinds of offers are always followed by a lot of negotiating on both sides. One thing that wasn’t up for negotiation, however, was the rest of my crew on The Bobby Bones Show. I wasn’t coming unless all of the team could come too. If they wanted the show, well, Amy, Lunchbox, Ray, Eddie, and the rest of my crew were
the show. Thankfully, that wasn’t a sticking point.
Even though the gang had new jobs in Nashville if they wanted them, they still couldn’t know for a long time, which was weird for me. It went from uncomfortable to problematic when Amy and her husband picked a house to buy in Austin. Luckily (for me), something happened and the deal on the house fell through. But I went to Rod and said, “If we don’t tell Amy now, she’s going to buy another house.” So I got special dispensation to tell her months before everyone else. She was in immediately. Because for Amy, the bigger her platform, the more good she can do in the world. Also, despite how much the rest of us drive her nuts, she still likes being part of the gang. Crazy girl.
Eventually I was able to call in each person on the show one by one and tell them that I had some information I needed to share, but I had to have them sign a nondisclosure agreement first—which scared everyone. As soon as they had put pen to paper, I told them the news quickly. I didn’t take any pleasure from torturing people.
Except Lunchbox. He was the only person I messed with. “There’s going to be a lot of changes,” I said.
“What kind of changes?” he asked nervously. “The changes involve you.”
“Okay.”
“It’s tough for me to tell you this . . .”
I dragged it out forever. I took many deep breaths. I even faked a half cry.
It was an Oscar-worthy performance. I wish I had taped it! “I’m going to be leaving,” I said.
His eyes got real big.
“I’m really sorry that I have to leave. I don’t know what you’re going to do
. . . but I hope you’re going to come with me, because they’ve offered us a national show out of Nashville!”
He didn’t know whether to hug me or kill me. It was awesome.
On Monday, February 4, 2013, we formally announced that The Bobby Bones Show was moving to Nashville; Friday was our last show in Austin. I know this might not seem like big news to most of you reading this, but it made some waves in the city that built our radio show. As the Austin Chronicle’s Abby Johnston wrote about me: “He assembled his own dream team and turned KISS FM’s negligible ratings into a national goldmine, far outscoring any other local show. . . .
“The show feels like a conversation between friends, and that’s what kept me listening. I love to hate Lunchbox’s antiquated and misogynistic attitude toward women and his party-boy lifestyle. . . . Lunchbox’s foil, Amy, has captivated listeners with her struggle to have a child, and as she chokes up on air, I’ve shed tears with her. . . . Mostly, though, there’s Bobby, who through the years has revealed himself as one of the most genuine and open hosts on the radio.”
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movietvtechgeeks · 7 years ago
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Top moments from 2018 60th Annual Grammy Awards show
Jay Z may have entered the weekend as the top Grammy nominee, but Kendrick Lamar and Bruno Mars went home with most of the awards. Mars was the big winner with seven awards including Album of the Year and Record of the Year while Lamar was right behind with five. Chris Stapleton took home three Grammys, Ed Sheeran scored two, and Alessia Cara received Best New Artist. Dave Chappelle got the nod for Best Comedy Album, and La La Land continued winning from last year with two soundtrack wins. Just as the Hollywood award shows this year have been dominated by the Time’s Up movement, the 60th annual Grammy Awards became a platform for artists to address sexual harassment and abuse, but also President Donald Trump, immigration, and gun violence. Artists arrived on the red carpet with white roses to show support for female equality, but others skewered Trump or criticized his administration’s treatment of immigrants with the Statue of Liberty serving as a backdrop. Kendrick Lamar opened the show with a gun-rattling performance while country stars mourned victims of the country’s largest mass shooting.   FIRE AND FURY The Grammy Awards didn’t hold back in a pre-recorded skit aimed at President Trump, which featured a surprise appearance by Hillary Clinton and others reading embarrassing passages from the Trump tell-all “Fire And Fury.” The skit featured musicians such as John Legend, Cher, Snoop Dogg and DJ Khaled reading portions of the book as an audition for the audio book. Rapper Cardi B added her own opinion after reading about Trump’s regular routines, saying “This is how he lives his life?” But it was Clinton’s appearance that gathered the loudest applause from the crowd at Madison Square Garden. Predictably it was a hot topic on Twitter soon after, prompting United Nations Ambassador Nikki Haley to post that the segment was “trash.” NOT JUST HOLLYWOOD Janelle Monae pointed her finger at the music industry’s role and responsibility following a wave of sexual harassment and abuse scandals that have rocked Hollywood. “It’s not just going in Hollywood,” Monae announced during the show. “It’s not just going on in Washington. It’s right here in our industry as well.” Kesha delivered the most powerful performance of her career as she sang “Praying,” backed by a chorus of women in white, with her emotions raw on her face and in her voice.   The pop singer, who has accused her former producer Dr. Luke of raping and drugging her, sang directly to overcoming an abusive relationship and finding forgiveness. (Dr. Luke has denied her accusations.) At the end, the women embraced Kesha in a group hug. ACTS OF VIOLENCE The Grammys opened the show with a mix of rap, rock and comedy featuring Kendrick Lamar, U2 and Dave Chappelle. Lamar has a history at the Grammys of combining performance art and music, which he did again with an army of marching camouflaged dancers in front of the images of the American flag. Lamar performed “XXX” with Bono and The Edge, with Chappelle adding moments of levity, while the screen declared “This is a satire by Kendrick Lamar.” But he ended the performance as the sound of gunshots filled the air behind his rapid-fire rapping and his backup dancers fell to the floor one by one. Later on in the Grammy show, three country artists gathered in a solemn tribute to victims of a mass shooting at a Las Vegas country music festival and a bombing at an Ariana Grande concert in England. Seated in front of names of victims, the stoic Eric Church seemed to struggle behind his sunglasses to get through a performance of Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven,” along with Maren Morris and Brothers Osborne. A COUNTRY OF DREAMERS Singer Camila Cabello, a Cuban-Mexican immigrant brought to the United States as a child, spoke about the American dream in a thinly veiled reference to the Trump administration’s policies on immigration. “This country was built by dreamers for dreamers,” said Cabello, a likely reference to the group of young immigrants protected under the Obama-era program that was canceled by Trump last year. After a reading of the poem that is etched into the base of the Statue of Liberty, Irish rock band U2 used the iconic image as a backdrop for a pre-recorded performance of “Get Out of Your Own Way” from a barge in the Hudson River. Even Sting’s performance of his 1987 song “Englishman in New York,” seemed a bit more on the nose as the country deals with reforming immigration laws. MUSICAL REWIND It may have been the 60th anniversary of the Grammy Awards, but Bruno Mars brought the show back to the ’90s with a colorful performance of his song “Finesse.” Mars was the big winner of the night with six awards and beating out leading nominee Jay-Z. Together with rapper Cardi B, the performance was musical and cultural homage to new jack swing, “In Living Color” and Mars’ brand of funk and R&B. Cardi B kept up with Mars and his band’s killer dance moves, while showing off her own flamboyant skills on the mic. BACK TO BROADWAY The Grammy Awards returned to New York City for the first time in more than a decade with a nod to the city’s rich history of musical theater. Tony Award winners Ben Platt and Patti LuPone delivered impressive tributes to composers Andrew Lloyd Webber and Leonard Bernstein. LuPone returned to her iconic performance from “Evita” with a symphony backing her on “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina,” proving she is among Broadway’s greatest singers.  
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lostinreality014 · 7 years ago
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#ThinkPositive2017: Dec 8
Slept until my alarm went off
Brought breakfast and lunch from home
Had a really awesome salad from Whole Foods for dinner
Chocolate oranges
My Home Chef box finally arrived and I can’t wait to try out the two meals that I got
@wdmsusie posting the first chapter of her new story! I’m gonna be in for another emotional ride. That first chapter was a doozy and our two main characters haven’t even met yet! I need to stock up on tissues! Also.. you should go read it immediately.
Harry’s tweets and insta posts
Pics/videos from HSLOT Tokyo Night 2
That red suit is amazing
Clare’s speech about Harry made me cry
Harry singing Girl Crush with no mic and just his guitar... I still haven’t recovered
Ben Winston confirming Harry will do a Christmas Carpool Karaoke I’M SCREAMING I’M SO READY FOR THIS
Niall’s tweets and insta posts
Pics/videos of Niall at Jingle Ball NYC
Liam’s tweets and insta posts
Louis’s tweets and insta posts
Ed’s insta posts
Luke’s tweets and insta posts
Michael’s tweets and insta posts
Ashton’s insta posts
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mumbleybummie-blog · 7 years ago
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🎶🎶🎶🎶 I need some new song so also please recommend
Non K Pop
That’s My Kind Of Night - Luke Bryan
Murder in the City - The Avett Brothers 
I’ll Make a Man Out of You - From “Mulan”/Soundtrack
Nicotine - Heffron Drive
Shape of You - Ed Sheeran
K Pop
Unfair Love - Monsta X
WE LIKE 2 PARTY - Big Bang
I Am You, You Are Me - Zico
Lightsaber - EXO
Interstellar (feat. Yella Diamond) - Monsta X (Performed by Jooheon, Hyungwon, I.M)
Recommendations [under the “keep reading” since there is a lot :)]
|send me a “♫” and i will put my music on shuffle and give you a 5 song playlist|
K Pop Song Recommendations 
Yesterday - Block B | Oasis - Crush, Zico | Know Me - DPR LIVE, Dean |Wonderland - gugudan | Body Talk - AOORA Demian | Without You - Lee Michelle | Selfish & Beautiful Girl - Block B - BASTARZ | Don’t You Worry - Jun Hyung Yong, DAVII | Umbrella - Far East Movement, Hyolyn, Gill Chang | D (Half Moon) - Dean, Gaeko | 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - VIXX
 | Really Really - Winner | Dance With Me - VAV | Halley - Seven O’Clock | ECHO - Seven O’Clock | I’ll Be There - Monsta X | Ready or Not - Monsta X | Catch Me - WJSN | Chocolate - KangNam, San E | Tie My Hands - K-Much | Cool (From “taskteam38”) - Key, DOYOUNG | OMG (feat. Seo In Guk) - Double K | A Girl Like Me - gugudan | Hello - B.I.G. | U r my only one - Varsity | No Matter What - BoA, Beenzino | Because You’re Pretty - Giriboy | Rising Sun - BEAT WIN | A lie - B1A4 | Sting - Stellar | Crying - Stellar | BeBe - Seo In Guk | Rainy Day - Toppdogg | What time is it now? - VICTON | Dream catcher - NELL | Home Alone (feat. Jung Yong Hwa) - Ravi | Ladi Dadi (feat. Microdot &Jero) - Ravi | 200% - AKDONG MUSICIAN | Get Down - Boys Republic | Shooting Star - VIXX
 | Odd Eye - SHINee | Excuse Me - BESTie | Healing - Seventeen | I yah - BOYFRIEND | Take Me Now - FT ISLAND | Jackpot - Block B | Arario - Toppdogg | Superfly - 24K | OMGT - Madtown
Non K Pop
Under the Sun - DIIV | Just Hold On - Steve Aoki, Louis Tomlinson | One Last Night - Vaults | Death Of A Bachelor - Panic! At The Disco | She Said / He Said - Bells of Youth | Head Over Heels - Tears For Fears | Talking Backwards - Real Estate | Stuck - Day Wave | For You - Fyfe | Gold Dust - BANNERS | I Feel It Coming - The Weeknd, Daft Punk | Weak - AJR | So Emotional - Whitney Houston | Cry Baby - Melanie Martinez | Ever Fallen in Love - Buzzcocks | Roadrunner - Jonathan Richman, The modern Lovers | Party Line - The Kinks | Happier - Ed Sheeran | Barcelona - Ed Sheeran | Ophelia - The Lumineers | Not Coming Home - Maroon 5 | Pity Party - Melanie Martinez 
There are some songs I recommend. They are songs that I enjoy listening to! I wanted to give you a variety and not too many popular songs from popular artists!! I hope you enjoy them! xxx Let me know if you end up liking any of these :) 
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