#luck of the draw old man

[oeuvrinarydurian]

Here for it. Or is that, here foir it?

[silly-ehggy]

Many a fiddleford was mcgucketed today...

(Reblogs over likes)

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

silly vampire costumes and their added benefits™️ (directly based on this)

[onestepbackwards]

My new monitor broke :')

[synelven]

octavius from down then left by @the-casbah-way

[cs-eg]

its actually okay 2 not get ppl expensive things 4 Christmas if u literally just do not have money its actually okay 2 not get ppl expensive things 4 Christmas if u literally just do not have money its actually okay 2 not get ppl expensive things 4 Christmas if u literally just do not have money

[undeadchestnut]

Modern day AU Scrooge/Marley concept: they connect on a GRINDR equivalent but because they don't post face pics neither realizes who the other actually is. Ebenezer is mortified when he arrives for their planned hookup and sees it's his boss, but--after getting over his initial shock--Marley thinks the whole thing is serendipity.

Ooooh, what a DISASTER! I love it

Realistically, this is probably the only way those two emotionally repressed dorks would ever actually end up with each other.

[3amsnek]

hahahhahhahaha. what a week huh.

[jademight]

Every day becoming a s*gar b*by seems like a more appealing proposition

[moonlight-prose]

a request, if i may, of praising old man logan as he filfthly eats you out and it makes him combust the more you praise him? okay running away again

speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life

a/n: look at him taking off his glasses in absolute shock of this ask- no okay does old man logan have a praise kink? i would raise it higher and say every version of logan has a massive praise kink. this is a man who wants to know he's doing good in life. his love language is acts of service so he might get to hear a pretty thank you. also i'm not sorry for how feral this got. i have no explanation.

summary: he knew he loved you when your words begin to piece his heart back together. he knew he loved you when he flourishes at your praise. he knew he loved you when nothing in this world could matter but the sound of your voice telling him you love him too.

word count: 3k+

pairing: old man!logan x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, oral (f receiving), praise kink, logan is obsessed, dirty talk via reader, he is so pretty when he blushes, manhandling, cumplay, cumeating, overstimulation, crying, he's needy in this one, angst, tortured soul of an old man, reverence, religious trauma + greek mythology hints.

He can feel the strings of fate pull tight around his broken heart. In a failed attempt to draw him back together. To piece together an organ that barely beat for him anymore. He might have felt it once, before it broke. Before it gnarled itself like the branches of a dying tree, one half twisting away from the other in a desperate attempt of survival.

He deemed it a useless part of his body until you came along. You with your smile that held enough cloying sweetness to choke him as he stood helpless. Silently begging for you to say his name. To bring him back to life.

Whatever horrors that plagued his mind—endless nightmares that promised nothing but anguish—suddenly came crashing to a halt at the sight of you. So pretty in your denim jeans and velvet top. An angel seated in the center of a bar that held more filth than you deserved to be near. Logan couldn’t fathom that luck struck him this hard.

Not when death had already claimed his soul; notched yet another tally in the endless wall of people that came before.

He felt the dirt pack under his nails as he clawed his way out of the grave he put himself in. Years spent alone—a man lost to the ravages of time—had turned him bitter. With rough edges and biting words that stung far more than he intended. How could he believe he deserved to live after he contributed so much to the endless pool of blood that tainted his soul? How was he allowed such softness after biting off bits of brutality his whole life?

Logan was pretty sure he survived on borrowed time that had already run out. He could feel death breathe down his neck as the days went on. A reminder that what little of his life remained would be spent suffering. And he found that accepting it was easier than battling against the will of God, or whoever toyed with his lifeline.

It was far easier to die than find a reason to live.

Until you said his name.

Softly. Sweetly. Reverence wrapped in a tight grasp of need.

You brought him back from the edge—took his hand and refused to take no for an answer. You and the safety of your touch; the promise in your kiss. You dragged him into a life he didn’t earn; one that almost tasted too sweet—too sour.

After near a decade of being buried beneath the dirt, he felt himself collapse above ground and suck in his first real gasp of fresh air. Alive, once more. Hell spit him out with a vow of love and who was he to argue against it.

His fingers dug into your plush thighs, tugging them open to see what lay between. He marveled at their softness, eyes wide and awestruck at the sight of you spread beneath him. You practically glowed in the dim light of the bedside table. Yellow, musty, yet angelic when it caressed your body with its heavenly touch.

He wondered if this was real life; your nails digging sharply into his shoulders gave him the answer.

"Logan," you sighed, voice high with need.

The strings pulled taught. A vice like hold that drew him to you.

Maybe that's what this unutterable feeling was. The gnawing pit at the bottom of his heart. A greed he'd never indulged before—too afraid of what it might ask for next. He wasn't a man who asked for much. Rather someone that found himself far too content with nothing. But tonight he found his lips forming the words of a false prayer that his mother taught him as a child.

Hail the angel in his bed. Hail every good fucking thing you brought into his life.

His teeth sunk into your thigh, body jolting at your responding moan. Fingers dug into his hair, tugging at the mussed locks with a high pitched whine. You were a needy little thing, but Logan found he desperately wanted to be needed.

He smiled laving his tongue over the tender spot, working his way up to where you dripped for him.

So slick. So perfect.

Saliva filled his mouth. "What do ya want baby?"

Your chest heaved; he could feel the heat of your body under his palms. "Your m-mouth Logan."

His eyes trailed along your brow covered in a sheen of sweat. The room was thick with the humid air of the outside world. But that didn't deter him from craving your skin near his. The pressure of your thighs around his head a welcome weight. If he sunk his teeth in where the curve of your leg met your hip he knew he could draw out that soft choking noise he longed to hear on days spent driving alone.

If he had his way he'd crawl into you to seek your serenity straight from the source. He'd never divulge about the ache that chewed him up on the inside, but Logan wondered if you knew. Could you tell how much he craved you? How much he couldn't live without you.

When your glittering eyes met his, the resolve he spent years building cracked like glass. You peered into him as if he was a stained glass window. A god you were more than happy to worship.

"You want me to lick this pretty pussy?" Fuck, he sounded drunk off your taste already.

His mouth hovered over your throbbing clit, your scent now filling his senses. Overwhelming him with what he wanted most. But he needed to hear it. The lilt of your begging; the soft echo of your need that washed over him like soothing river water.

He couldn't live without it.

"Yes," you sobbed, thigh twitching.

The string sliced his heart open, blood pooling onto the white bed sheets. Oh what a sweet death your love made. Oh...what a bittersweet way to go.

He'd die right now if you asked him to. Hand over his heart on a silver platter if you so wished it. Maybe that made him far too gone for his own good, but Logan couldn't remember a time in his life where he got this. Safety. The hope of love burning far too bright and far too hot for him to fly near it.

Yet there he was. Icarus happily soaring in your sun like glow.

"I got ya honey," he murmured. "Gonna take care of what's mine."

You nodded frantically—tears welling up in your eyes. "You take care of me Logan."

The breath in his chest stuttered, eyes dark as the words fell past your swollen lips. He wanted to explain why his cock twitched against his stomach. Why he now leaked into the sheet with heavy panted breaths. But every time he came up short with the words needed to form an answer.

"Yeah I do sweetheart," he breathed. "Don't I?"

"Uh-huh."

"Take care of what belongs to me."

There was no warning when his hands dragged you closer with a rough tug, mouth closing over your clit with a desperate suck. A cry wrenched from your mouth, sparks sharply traveling down your spine. He licked through your slick with a growl. Hands an unbreakable press against your thighs.

The sight of your body bowed, mouth open for small gasped breaths that never came, snapped something in his mind. He was an old man. Well past his years. But the taste of your pussy along his tongue brought back a ferocity he often tamped down in his younger age. He felt the feral want claw at his chest, and answered it with a broken snarl.

Swallowing down every drop you gave him, he plunged his tongue into your entrance, thrusting messily until a smear of your shiny slick began to coat his mouth. It covered his cheeks and clung to the hair of his beard. He'd clean it out later, taste you on his tongue until he was aching for another go. But for now he was preoccupied with the way you cried for him.

"Oh fuck!" Your thighs trembled over his shoulders, hips canting down to drag yourself along his tongue. "So good."

He shuddered, eyes rolling back at the sound of your praise. You caught it within seconds, lips pulling into a breathless smile that left him gasping for air. His teeth nipped at your thigh briefly as his hips ground into the mattress below.

"You like that baby?" you breathed, thumb smearing your own slick against his cheek.

Something hot washed over his body. A needy sick and twisted ache that he'd never indulged in before. He wanted to be a good man to you; longed to be needed. And fuck if you didn't give him everything.

You were his walking wet dream. His future handed off and wrapped in a neat little bow.

"L-Love your tongue Logan-" A high gasp tore from your throat when he dived back in. Slurping at your clit with a heady moan as you dragged him closer. "Taking care of me so well."

His hips canted down into the bed, fucking his cock along the warmth of his stomach, as you gushed into his mouth again. Eyes zeroed in on your face, pupils dilated as he growled into your flesh. You no longer could see the man you loved, but the feral side he tamped down during the day. The animal he longed to release in your presence.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum."

His arms looped around your thighs and with a sharp yank, he had his face buried deep enough to suffocate himself. You sobbed an incoherent version of his name. Nails clawed at his shoulders, but Logan could feel the pulse of your clit under his tongue.

He sucked it into his mouth with a grunt, rolling it along his tongue as you trembled with the oncoming shocks of an orgasm that threatened to destroy you.

Tears dripped down your cheeks and Logan felt the satisfying part of his heart begin to stitch itself back together. The strings were tight enough to numb his pain. To quell the flare of agony.

That used to be all he knew, all he counted on most days. When there was nothing left and he'd propped the shovel in the dirt—his grave open and waiting—he stumbled right into your arms. He found his reason for living.

Heat curled around his spine as you shook with the impending orgasm—the stimulation on your clit practically debilitating. He grunted into your soaked flesh, eyes narrowed as he chased the release that pulled his stomach taut. But this wasn't for him to indulge in; this wasn't his pleasure.

So with a throaty moan you felt reverberate along your body, he scraped his teeth along your clit and watched as your body went stiff.

"Logan!" you cried, fingers scrambling for purchase on any part of him you could reach.

You gushed into his awaiting mouth, praises of it's so good, you're so good falling upon his ears like the whimpered prayers of a devout worshiper thanking your god.

"Taste so fuckin' good," he mumbled, drunk on what you gave him.

He didn't care that you were jolting with each pass of his tongue along your pussy. He didn't care that you were shocked with overstimulation, small broken cries of his name muffled by the press of your thighs against his ears. He licked at you until he couldn't breathe. Buried his tongue into your twitching entrance and sucked out your cum with a happy hum.

"P-Please." You tugged at his hair, pulling him off you with a sob. "I-I can't anymore Logan."

"'M not fuckin' finished," he said, eyes glazed and face coated in your slick.

You made a mess of his face. The light catching along where you spilled into his mouth and along his throat. And still he wanted more. He'd spend hours between your thighs, burning your skin with his beard, if it meant he could divulge in your sweetness.

"It hurts-"

A grunt rumbled in his chest, his arms tugging you back even as your feet kicked along his back. "Just one more honey. Yeah?"

You shook your head. "B-But-"

"Thought you said it was good."

"It is."

"Then lemme be good for you." He wanted to tell you that the world went quiet between your thighs. That all his grief, all his pain, lessened when you sobbed his name.

He wanted to show you the string that looped his heart to yours—the only thing keeping him alive—and thank you for bringing him back from the dead. But words weren't his forte. Violence had become the only tenderness he knew and you didn't deserve the rough edges of an old man. You should have more.

But when you let him touch you like this—caress your skin and lick between your folds—he felt as if he was a man who finally was worthy of someone as precious as you. He could pretend he didn't bear the brunt of a fucked up soul.

The weight on his chest lifted when your tear filled gaze met his and you nodded. Small, barely there, but it was enough for him to seal his mouth back over you with a ragged moan. Your body shook as his tongue slid through the seam of your pussy. The tip nudging against your clit—careful to draw the pleasure from your body slowly.

He didn't want to give you pain. His heart wouldn't survive that. But he was a broken man; someone who begged for more even as his teeth sunk into what was already given.

You were his meal. His sacrament in the midnight hours until dawn broke across the darkened sky. You were the other half of his soul.

How could he not indulge in your sweetened tang until his tongue went stiff?

"I love you," you sighed, eyes rolled back when he sucked at your pussy, a wet low moan echoing in the air. "My p-perfect husband."

The cold press of his wedding band against your thigh drove him over the edge. You weren't officially married. Didn't have the backyard wedding with a preacher to match. But Logan had placed a ring on your finger near a year ago, sliding one over his own with the vow of forever cemented in his words.

Even if that didn't mean much in the eyes of a god who abandoned him near a century ago.

"Oh-"

Your head tipped back, mouth dropping open as his fingers dipped into your wet heat. Thrusting lazily until he found the spongey patch along your walls—driving the pad of his middle finger into it with a needy moan.

He knew it wouldn't take long for you to fly off the edge of a second release. That didn't make watching you climb to that peak any less satisfying. The sight appeased his soul. It gave him a chance to breathe; let him know that after so much bad—after so much pain—he could do something good. He could bring you to the edge of pleasure and drag you over again and again.

He could finally be the man you believed he was.

Not the animal they created.

"C'mon," he muttered. Eyes fixed on the shape of your breasts as your body curved off the bed. Hips dragging along his face with a stunted cry.

A wail bounced off the walls, piercing his eardrums with the symphony of your cries. His fingers rapidly pumped into you with a squelch that had heat burning his cheeks—lips pulling your throbbing clit into his mouth as you broke. The climax slammed into you; battering your already swollen pussy.

Logan could feel his cock swell at the sight.

"Fuckin' perfect," he grunted, teeth bared as he clambered to his knees and wrapped his fist soaked in your slick around his leaking cock. "'M gonna cum sweetheart."

Your eyes fluttered open, fingers digging into his thigh. "Please. Wanna see it baby. Look so pretty when you cum Logan."

His chest tightened, body shaking while you watched in rapture as he fucked his fist rapidly. He wouldn't fucking last, could feel the burning consume his body, but something held him back. The string around his heart yanked him away from the edge, tearing a cry from his throat when his frustration peaked.

You could see it—the glimmer of need in his dark eyes. This wasn't the first time he longed for your words. It certainly wouldn't be the last.

So you spread your legs and sat up slowly—arms wrapping around his shoulders to bring his lips down to yours. A soft moan was muffled by your mouth; the peak of his release within reach. He could practically feel the tips of his fingers graze it.

"Cover my pussy baby," you mumbled into his mouth. "Be good for me and mark what's yours."

The growl came from the very bottom of his chest when he finally came. Your name was a bitten out snarl pressed to your mouth in an open mouth kiss as he spurted over his knuckles. He pumped his cock to milk every drop; eyes fixed on the way it covered the swollen lips of your pussy. Dripping down to your entrance that fluttered at the sight of his sweaty and crimson tinged face.

"I fuckin' love ya honey," he murmured, hand cupping your chin to drag your lips back to his. "Best thing that's happened in my life is you."

You smiled, thumbs pressing to his cheeks. "Love you too Logan."

Clutching you close, he felt the string go loose. The breath finally rushing back into his lungs at the sight of your eyes glowing with the kind of light that brought him back to the first day The night he met you in that shitty bar—alcohol the only thing on his mind until he saw you.

The night you spoke his name over his covered grave and dragged him back to life with a smile.

[princessbrunette]

ᡣ𐭩 ｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅PRINCESSBRUNETTES SCREAM SALON INTRODUCES … ໒꒰ྀི ˃̵ ࿁ ˂̵ ꒱ྀིა

PICTURE YOU ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃

♩chappell roan — picture you ♩

pairing: pervy pope, jj, john b x reader

cw: sexual fantasies, the pogues being peeping toms, masturbation.

you are responsible for your own media consumption. welcome to kinktober day five. better late than never!

pope knew was he was doing was wrong. you were his neighbour for christs sake.

at the end of the day, he was but a man— and whilst he had no intention of stooping to full pervert level like this, he had slipped up and bragged to the wrong people, AKA — jj maybank, about how his fine ass neighbour had a certain… routine, every friday night… and would leave her bedroom blinds open for it.

the regret fully kicked in when he opened his front door, seeing the excited expression on his two best friends faces.

“no. i shouldn’t have told you.” is how pope greets them.

“dude it’s fine,” jj reiterates, easily moving past him in the entrance to his house with a clap on the shoulder, an only slightly less enthused john b following closely behind with an awkward but willing smile. “we’re not gonna watch. we’re just gonna… like — happen to glance out the window. while she’s flickin’ the bean.”

“thats — that doesn’t make it any more okay.” pope stresses, following his friends up to his bedroom.

“look, she leaves her blinds open right? isn’t that what you said? have you maybe considered that… possibly, and hear me out on this… she wants to be watched?” john b, usually the voice of reason finds it in himself to convince pope just that little more, wide puppy-like eyes doing most of the convincing. he’s probably the only reason pope hasn’t grabbed them both by the scruff of the neck and hauled them out.

the night goes on, and honestly — the perverted plan is nearly forgotten about until their attention is brought to the window just across from popes, the lamp switching on as you arrived home from work. john b swivels on popes desk chair, nodding his head toward the sight with a whistle.

“oop, shows starting.”

“honey, i’m home.” jj sings out in a high pitched voice, excited for what’s to come.

“you’re so much better than this, john b.” pope deadpans, double taking at jj as he switches off the lights to the bedroom sending them all into darkness. “what the hell?”

“do you wanna get caught creepin’ on your neighbour? no? didn’t think so.”

“you done this before jayj?” there’s a lilt of teasing to the brunettes voice as his blonde counterpart grabs a seat and drags it up beside him, the young adults gathered as they watch your figure dart around the room going about your nightly activities.

“shh.”

the boys curse, ducking down slightly when you suddenly appear at your window, fingers grazing the blinds. they stay deadly still in the dark, barely even breathing as to not draw attention to the fact they’re gathered round to watch you. you look pensive, hesitant, like you’re about to draw the blinds and shut the world out and yet… you don��t. you back away, leaving them open.

“huh.” pope breathes, glancing at his wavy haired friend.

“likes an audience. interesting.” routledge hums, voice deep and breathy.

you begin to undress, and they swear the air in the room gets thicker. peeling your leggings down your legs like they’d been painted onto you for the day creates an audible reaction from your neighbour and his friends, jj even going as far as to stick his knuckle in his mouth.

“god damn.” he garbles, earning a hum of agreement.

“oh you really lucked out here pope. the only neighbour i ever had was a 70 year old woman. trust me when she left her blinds open you look the other way.” john b doesn’t remove his eyes from the scene as he recounts the anecdote, causing pope to screw up his face.

the truth was, pope did have his own fantasies and perversions. he told himself time and time again, he wasn’t watching. he was at his desk first, you left your blinds open. visions of you at the library you worked at, helping him with research in that little mini skirt he saw you wear once. bending over to rummage shelves, sweet fat crescent of your pussy on display through your panties. pope would have no choice but to take you right there on the table behind the bookshelves, the two of you trying to stay quiet as he disappears between your thighs, seeking out that sweet nectar…

when he snaps out of it, you’re already on the bed, in perfect eyeshot of the window. just you, that dim lamp that made your skin seem to glow, an oversized tshirt and some panties.

“you guys don’t feel wrong doing this?” pope speaks in a hushed voice like you might be able to hear.

“how could something so right be so wrong, my friend?” jj pulls out a joint to stick into his mouth, only to have it plucked from his lips and tossed aside by the heyward boy.

“i’m drawing a line.”

“alright, that’s fair.”

“you guys are missing it.” john b hums, entranced by the way you palm at your tits through the top, eyes fluttering shut as your body starts to relax into the bed. “putting on a show for us.”

silence falls upon them finally as they stare, your hands trailing down to lift the hem of your shirt up and over your breasts, massaging the fat and plucking at the nipples.

“oh wow.” pope breathes, jj breaking out into a grin.

“this is some american pie shit right here.”

“grow up.”

“i’m just saying.”

it seems like forever before your hands reach down to your panties, fingers gingerly dusting over the thin fabric of what appears to be baby blue panties with a pink bow at the top centre. jj even swears he can see the gloss of your arousal on your open thighs from where he’s sat. you begin to rub yourself through the material, teasingly and you pull your bottom lip beneath your teeth, sucking in a breath.

“th’atta girl.” john b murmurs, and the air in the room suddenly feels too hot, too stifling. it wasn’t this hot five minutes ago.

“its like i… can’t look away.” pope justifies in just above a whisper, finally perching down to a more comfortable view, watching the way your head tosses side to side, back arching just that little bit as you try and find a better angle. patience leaves you, and you’re pulling the panties off all together.

“would you look at that.” jj marvels, before glancing at his two friends. “y’all mind if i jerk off real quick?”

“what?” pope screws up his face, and john b glances at him.

“yeah, uh. i mind.”

“it can’t wait?” pope adds, shaking his head and jj throws up his hands.

“i thought that’s what we were doing’ here alright my bad!” he dodges john b’s disapproving swat, eyes wide. “oh that’s where you draw the line? y’all are not real freaks.”

“no.” john b shakes his head, pope chiming in with a “thank god.”

but as their attention lands on you once more, your fingers sinking into that glossy hole — they begin to really reconsider their choice.

[mariasont]

aaron hotchner masterlist

smut = ✧ clean (ish) = ♡ angst = ✩

this list goes oldest to newest! (idk why i did it like that but im too lazy to change it now)

fics:

✧ our minds entwined WIP paused!

one shots:

♡ marked territory: you are not happy about a consultant trying to make a move on your man

✧ negotiation with mr. h pt 1 pt 2: hotch doesn't know what to do when his nanny flirts with him out of the blue

♡ bumper to bumper: you can't seem to park your car and hotch is the man to help

♡ office sleepover: you get put on a hit list and have to stay over at the office pt 1, pt 2, pt 3

✩ the manuscript: you find a series of letters aaron wrote you in college

✩♡ talking to a brick wall: you overheard aaron’s not so nice words about you

✧ spoiled: in which hotch overhears your conversation with penelope and decides to do something about it

♡ some profiler you are: in which hotch insists you stay with him after you get shot

✧ ideas from a book: in which hotch catches you reading smut and finds out you have a gun kink

♡ give this old man a heart attack: you almost get yourself killed on a case and hotch has some choice words about it

♡ they think i'm pregnant: the team thinks you're pregnant and you decide to have a little fun with it

✩ please, don't prove 'em right: aaron hotchner is a busy man and he tends to disappoint you by missing important events pt 1, pt 2

♡ stupid crush: being the youngest member of the bau you think you have no shot with your hot boss

♡ late night podcast: hotch finds you fast asleep to the soothing sound of a seriel killer podcast

✩♡ too emotional: you and hotch are taken hostage, hotch makes some comments, but is it part of the plan or did he mean that?

♡ dangerous: you get hit with some laughing gas and become much more bold and flirty with your boss

♡ schoolboy-esque: spencer and hotch spend the day competing for your attention

♡ secret nicknames: hotch accidentally calls you your middle name at work causing suspicion in the team

✧ let me take care of you: you had a rough day at work and hotch decides to draw you a bath and help you relax with a couple creative methods

✩♡ softly, slowly: you have a hard time opening up because of a past of your mom being dismissive with your feelings but hotch is slowly helping you overcome that

✧ short skirt, long day: on paperwork days you tend to wear short skirts, one day perv!aaron decides to take advantage of that

nanny!reader

♡ laundry day: hotch notices a difference in how his clothes smell and realizes his nanny might have something to do with that

♡ parent-teacher conference: nanny!reader isn't too happy about a teacher trying to flirt with her boss

♡ date night: nanny!reader comes home after the worst date

♡ career day: mr. hotchner can't make jack's career day so nanny!reader steps in and maybe embellishes just a smidge about how the fbi works

bimbo!assistant!reader

♡ my assistant: bimbo!assistant!reader can't reach a book so hotch helps you out

♡ my boss won’t be happy about this: bimbo!assistant!reader is wrongfully arrested and hotch is not happy about it

♡ strawberry wine: hotch is a lot more flirty when he's got some alcohol in him (bimbo!assistant!reader)

♡ semantics: bimbo!assistant!reader flirts with an officer that has been driving hotch mad all day

♡ jealousy, jealousy: a witness flirts with hotch and bimbo!assistant!reader thinks that hotch is reciprocating

♡ good luck charm: bimbo!assistant!reader is gone for the morning and leaves hotch a couple sticky notes

♡ training day: bimbo!assistant!reader doesn't understand why hotch is giving her training lessons, but apparently he thinks she needs it

♡ talk about a bad date: bimbo!assistant!reader went on a shitty ass date and calls hotch to her rescue

♡ rainy with a chance of hotch: bimbo!assistant!reader gets caught in the rain

♡ business of making babies: bimbo!assistant!reader gets hotch worked up at the casual mention of kids

♡ smiling like a fool: hotch is the one making bimbo!assistant!reader flustered for once

♡ lovely menace: hotch and bimbo!assistant!reader are in an established relationship and reader lovessss to be a menace at work

[byproducts-of-my-imagination]

Everyone Hates Todo Except You

The best part about Todo is that you don’t have to put yandere in front of him because his normal behavior already screams delusional and obsessive.   You cannot convince me that he doesn’t sniff all your things as soon as you’re not looking.  He’s just so intense.  I love this man, need to catch up on jjk.

~1k words. Thank you to whoever requested this and I hope you enjoy!

At the Kyoto branch, nobody really bothers sticking their nose in Todo’s business.  But when there’s an enormous mound of trash bags outside his room that just keeps getting bigger, concerning glances and eyebrow raises no longer cut it.  Normally his antics earn a side eye or two, but lately it’s been a little much, even for him.  At the breakfast table the next day, the girls decide to draw straws to see who has to tell him to move his shit.

“It’s not fair!  Why do I have to do it?”  Miwa groans, cursing her bad luck for the thousandth time.  

“It is fair, you just happened to draw the short straw now go deal with it!  We'll back you up.”  Mai grins, knowing full well she rigged it.

Kasumi Miwa would rather be doing literally anything else at this moment.  She timidly knocks on the door, and says, “Todo?  Could you move all this stuff please?  You’re starting to block the hallway.”

“Yeah I’ll get to it whenever I get the rest of this junk cleaned up.  Don’t worry there’s no food waste so there shouldn’t be any smell.”

“B-but Todo…. It's been almost a week now…”  The only response was the muted sound of shuffling.

Miwa looks back in defeat at her so-called “back up” as they peek from behind the corner.  Their best bet now is to get one of the boys to convince him.  And if they fail it’s straight to Utahime-sensei.  

Todo looks at his room, emptier than it’s ever been.  He knew this was the likeliest outcome.  Takada-chan was a beloved idol, and even if she liked him back (which he thought she might have at some point) there was no way she could be with him.  He knew, but it doesn't mean it hurt any less.  There were years of carefully collected merch, thousands of dollars being stuffed into trash bags to be thrown away.  But instead of the despair he carefully denied for years, he didn’t feel any loss throwing away all the autographed posters and pictures.  No, he had something much better now, someone who could actually be with him in this wretched, boring world.  He had his wonderful, gorgeous, beautiful, perfect in every way girlfriend.  And while you weren’t aware that you were destined to be with him yet, he would make sure you’d know soon.  As soon as he finished purging his space of Takada-chan (it wouldn’t do to have pictures of an old flame) he’d confess.  

A few days later he was tying up the last trash bag, ready to enact his plan.  He asked you to meet him under the largest tree in the forest on the edge of the training field.  Several hypothetical scenarios floated through his mind, and he focused on the one where you’d enthusiastically said you loved him back and then he married you and had many children.  As he neared the confession site, Todo felt yet another arrow go through his heart as you came into view.  I’ll never get tired of seeing her.

“Todo, is everything okay?  What’s up?”  A shiver ran down Todo’s spine, goosebumps rising.  God, even your voice was perfect.

“I love you.  Promise me, y/n.  That we’ll spend the rest of our lives together.”  He got down on one knee like a proposal, looking up at you like a devout follower.

“Todo… I don’t know about the rest of our lives but why don’t we start with a date?  I like you too.”  While you were a bit taken aback by his forwardness, you brush it off as Todo being Todo.  You never disliked his honesty and unabashedness.

“My girlfriend!! I knew you felt the same!”  A single tear ran down Todo’s face.   

Back to the dorms, it wasn’t long before everyone found out and congregated at your room to badger you with questions.  

“Ugh that gorilla?  You guys are dating now?”  Nishimiya asked, firmly believing Todo to be an improper and inadequate boyfriend.  

“I thought he only had eyes for that idol Takado or whatever,” Miwa chimes.

“It’s Takada,” Mai corrects, not able to make eye contact with Nishimiya’s suspicious glance in her direction. 

“We’re dating now!  He just asked me out, and he’s really good to me.” you reply, thinking of how Todo insisted on carrying you back to the dorms, gently setting you down before running off saying he needed to ‘prepare’.  

“You can do way better than Todo, trust us.” The girls all nod in agreement.  However, Todo is outside your room balancing a tray of perfectly cooked lunch and a cold pitcher of water.  

“What are you guys talking about?”  he knows already, but wants to hear them say it to his face.  

“How y/n is too good for the likes of you.”  Mai minces no words for Todo.  With the uncomfortable tension rising, the Kyoto girls hastily make an exit.  

“My love, I made lunch for us.  I know I am not handsome, or come from wealth and a good sorcerer family like some of our classmates.  But I will be devoted.  I will never stray from you, I’d die if you asked me to.”  he says, as he sets the meal on your small desk, pulling out utensils and napkins.  His normal confidence seems to waver a bit, and it seems that not even Todo is immune to worrying about what other people think of him.  

“Todo, don’t worry about what they say and please don’t say you’ll die for me.  I like you a lot, I wouldn’t have accepted your confession if I didn’t.  I also think you’re quite handsome.”  

“You love me back?”  he whispers, kneeling at the edge of your bed, looking up at you.  While it’s a bit too early to tell, Todo’s hopeful, reverent look has you obliging him. 

“I do love you back.”  He embraces you, and you can hear his heartbeat in his bare chest.  It feels good to be loved so wholeheartedly, and you’ll give him all the love you have to repay him.  

[kingalooo]

❀𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 *:･ﾟ

A little jealous dbf!miguel x fem!reader for those who are like me and are STARVED for more of this man. It’s concerning how much I want him :(((

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Summary: After a sorority event at your college a guy decides to give you flowers. Bringing them home with you, your dads best friend Miguel gets a little jealous.

Word count: 2.7k

Pairing: dbf!miguel x fem!reader

Proof read-ish

⋆┈┈┈┈┈┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ⋆

(Outfit: baby pink long sleeve with really short shorts for the thick mamis yummy)

A crush was an understatement.

Definitely an understatement when it came to this man.

I peered outside of my bedroom window to look down at the pair that were standing in the yard. My attention wasn’t currently on my dad that hadn’t stopped talking for the past 5 minutes but instead was on the other man directly in front of him.

It was as if God himself came down to earth just to carve this handsome and incredibly sexy human being into existence.

Miguel continued nodding to whatever was coming out of my dads mouth with his arms crossed over his chest, making his veins fairly visible even at a distance. I felt myself drooling over this man. Quickly shaking my head I grabbed my school backpack and headed off to the sorority meeting that I needed to attend.

I took a deep breath before stepping out of the door to face both of the men outside.

“Princesa! A donde vas?” My dad quickly turned his attention to me as I opened the door, making Miguel’s eyes stray. I gulped. (Princess! Where are you going?)

“Apa I have to go see my sorority team for our charity event today, remember?” I crossed my arms over my chest as I spoke, knowing he had completely forgotten. (Apa- Dad)

“Ya te estás poniendo viejo! Como no te vas a acordar de los eventos de tu hija?” Miguel playfully hit my dads shoulder as he spoke. (You’re getting old! How are you going to forget your daughter's events?)

My eyes darted to Miguel as he made his comment. My dad instantly glared at him before turning back to me.

“Okay que te vaya bien mi niña…” My dad sighed before giving me a kiss on the forehead. Miguel stood there eyeing me before giving me a small grin and waving his hand. (Okay my girl good luck)

“Como andas mami?” He asked kindly, I felt my heart skip a beat. With a genuine smile I make my way towards him as well to give him a hug. He placed his big hands on my waist and gripped my hips tightly. (How are you mami?)

“I-I’m good…y tú?” Fuck me. God was not on my side this morning with the way my legs gave in a bit. I felt my face heat up as I quickly pulled away from his grasp. My gaze found his, he grinned down at me it almost felt taunting.(and you?)

“Bien mami, que te vaya bien hoy al rato nos vemos.” He said softly before turning his attention back to my dad. I nodded quickly and said goodbye to both of them before heading to my car. (Good mami, good luck I’ll see you later.)

My mind was everywhere after that simple conversation, it’s been like this since my dad and him became friends back in my freshman year of college. Both of them ended up working at the same carpenters company and became close instantly. He would invite Miguel to our cookouts, family parties, or just to watch the soccer games. My heart would beat out of my chest anytime he’d come over. Whenever he would come talk to me and let me chismear with him about college, he would always seem so interested in how I was and how school/life was going. Which was one of the reasons why I was starting to crush on him. (Chismear = gossip)

Not just because of how undoubtedly attractive he was. But it was definitely on the list.

I tried my best to draw my attention to anyone else in school to at least diminish the crush but it never worked. It would always be the comparisons between the guy and Miguel.

Was he attentive? No. Miguel would always be attentive to me.

Did he make sure to make me feel comfortable? No. Miguel always makes me feel comfortable.

Does he know your favorite color? No. Miguel knows my favorite color.

No.

No.

No.

It was aggravating how none of these other guys, who were my age, fit the Miguel checkbox. It was tiring enough to have a crush on my dads best friend.

•✿❀✿•

The sororitys charity event had gone smooth thankfully. It was dark out by the time I got back home. I quickly lock my car and unlock the front door to the house. Chatting and laughter was instantly heard as I stepped in.

He’s still here?

I grip the bouquet of flowers in my hands and make my way into the living room.

“I’m back apa.” I say before giving my dad a kiss on the cheek.

“Como te fue mija? Y esas flores que?” My dad asked curiously as he eyed the bouquet in my hand. I flush instantly. (How did it go sweety? And what about those flowers?)

“The event went well! A-Ah…this guy at the charity event gave them to me! He was one of the freshmen that came to assist us.” I stammer noticing Miguel’s stare from the corner of my eye.

“Why?”

Both mine and my dads eyes snapped towards Miguel. His tone wasn’t soft and sweet like how he would always talk to me but instead cold and harsh. After noticing the questioning looks me and my dad were giving him, he quickly changed his intense expression.

“I mean…was it for all of you girls or for the event?” He cleared his throat and caught himself quickly.

“Oh…no it was just for me actually. It was a really nice gesture.” I smiled genuinely as I tried to ease the awkwardness. My dad chuckled.

“He likes you~” My dad teased while poking my ticklish side.

“Apa no! He was just being sweet, that's all!” I frowned at him and swatted his hand away.

Miguel on the other end wasn’t having it. He was fuming in his seat as he took another sip of the beer in his hand. His eyes stayed on the bouquet of roses in your hand making him want to throw them away just to get you a better bouquet and not from some random boy.

Was it stupid to be jealous over someone younger than him? Sure. Did he give a fuck? Definitely not.

The daughter of his best friend has been a plague in his mind ever since he stepped in this house. He purposely tried to come over any chance he could just to see you. The way it was obvious how nervous you would get whenever he was around. The way you stammer over your words whenever he gets too close. The way your innocent eyes would look at him. He desperately wanted to see those eyes rolling back as he ruined you and pounded into you mercilessly.

It was addicting.

Too addicting.

Sometimes he’d have to keep himself from looking too long just like today. Those fucking shorts were too short for your own damn good. The plumpness of your thighs and how the meat of your ass was almost out for everyone’s eyes. It was too much for him. The way the color pink makes you look so innocent but so sexy at the same time made him go ballistic.

The sudden sound of a phone ringing snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Pinche madre… ahorita vengo me anda llamando el jefe. Bueno!” My dads voice echoed down the hall into his bedroom as he shut the door behind him. (Motherfucker…I’ll be right back, the boss is calling me. Hello?)

Silence.

I cleared my throat before heading into the kitchen and leaving the flowers on the counter. My heart was racing too much. I tried to keep my cool before speaking again.

“Do you want anything else to drink Miggy?” I called out to him.

Silence.

“Miguel?” I called out again. I pursued my lips together as I heard footsteps, assuming they were my dads I turn my back to the living room and grab water. The foot steps drew closer while I turned back around with a cup of water in my hand.

“Is Miguel mad apa?-“ I ask before two arms trapped me against the counter. My eyes widen as I look up to see Miguel’s eyes staring back down at me.

“Am I mad?” He asks back in a harsh tone.

My mouth fell open as I tried to answer back with my mind going completely blank.

“Cant even get an answer back…” He spit, he took the cup from my hand and took a sip before putting off to the side.

“I am mad mami because some random little boy decided to give you flowers…” He said with a grin before twirling a strand of my hair with his finger. My brows furrow, my hands press against his chest.

“And what about it? I-It was just a nice gesture!” I say back and turn away from him with a huff.

“Ha…a nice gesture? Don’t defend him mami because you and me both know that little shit likes you…”

I don’t respond but instead pushed him away from me. He stared down at me as I put some distance between the two of us.

“Why are you mad about it anyway…”

I mumble turning my back to him. My fingers delicately run over the petals before his hand gripped my wrist in a swift motion. His chest was pressed against my back as he leaned into my ear.

“Because I don’t want any man giving my girl flowers…”

Holy shit.

My breath hitched but not only because of how close he was. But “My girl?” My legs quivered a bit but I tried my best to stand my ground.

“No soy tuya…” I spit back knowing damn well I would drop at the chance of being called his again. He chuckled in my ear before pressing himself closer against me. (I’m not yours)

“Don’t pretend that you don’t like me mami. Those pretty eyes of yours tell me everything I need to know…” He whispered as his hand trailed up and down my waist.

“Miguel my dad is going to come out any minute!” I try to push back only to be met with his hips pressed against my ass. His hand grips my waist as he rubs himself against me.

“Mami me vale, lo único que quiero ahorita es tenerte para mi y solo para mi…” The tone in his voice softened down almost to a whisper. The way he spoke did something to me, it made me not care about my surroundings and the consequences of getting caught. I threw any sense of control away as I slowly leaned down on the counter to arch my back a bit. His hands gripped my hips tightly as he brought me closer to him. (Mami I don’t care, the only thing I want right now is to have you and only for me)

“Ves? Sueño en tenerte así…” He moaned softly, seeing me oblige to his touch. (See? I dream about having you like this)

”¿Sueñas conmigo?” I tease, completely letting go of the shyness that I originally felt. I rub my ass against his stiff erection that touched my inner thigh. He groaned in response. (You dream about me?)

“How the fuck could I not? Mírate mami…te rezo…” His tone only made me weak. He thrusted against my clothed area almost begging to take off what was separating us. (Look at you mami…I pray for you)

“Miguel~…” A soft whine left my lips as the dry thrusts were only making my neediness worse. He huffed in a frustrated manner.

“Fuck this.” Was all he said before moving the denim fabric to the side as he inserted two fingers into my dripping cunt. A small moan left my lips before my hand quickly covered my mouth.

“Calladita mami…we wouldn’t want your dad to hear how needy you are do we?” He whispers in my ear as he pumped faster into my cunt. My eyes shut tightly while my walls tighten around his thick fingers. (Quite Mami)

“You’re swallowing me mami…”

His dirty words only made me want more from him. My dad begin a couple rooms down from us completely left my mind, all I could think of now was Miguel. The adrenaline was sky rocketing as my hips bucked against his fingers for more friction.

“M-Miguel this- this isn’t right…” I moan helplessly, feeling a knot in my stomach forming once he sped up.

“Oh but it’s so right mami…look at you moving all on your own for my fingers.” He mused in my ear. Quiet moans were muffled by my hand as he continued to finger me mercilessly. But before I could release against him, the soft vibration of my phone echoed in the kitchen. My eyes darted instantly to the phone next to me before Miguel’s hand grabbed it. A small ‘tsk’ left his lips before he clicked answer.

“Hello?”

“H-Hi is Y/N there?”

“She’s busy right now. Who is this?” He mumbled back in an annoyed tone as he slowed his pace. I whine softly and I turn to glare at him.

“Can you let her know that Eric from the charity event called? I just wanted to ask if she liked the flowers…”

My eyes widen once I heard that familiar voice. Miguel instantly inserted another finger and fastened his pace again but this time more aggressively. I gripped the counter top tightly trying to hold back my moans while he was on the phone.

“We’ll this is her boyfriend speaking and I’d appreciate you not giving my girlfriend flowers.” He spat back before hanging up and putting the phone back down of the counter.

“Did you like the flowers mami? Tell me right now if you liked him giving you those fucking flowers.” He asked harshly into my ear as he continued pumping into me. I shook my head in response, feeling my release nearing again.

“Use your words mami…”

“N-No~ I-I didn’t like them…” I whine back as quietly as possible.

Satisfied, he pumped faster and faster before my sweet release dripped all over his hand. I held myself up with the little bit of energy I had left in me before standing up straight again.

“That’s my girl…always doing so good for me…” He said, staring down at me with a smirk as he licked on his fingers and hand until he was all cleaned up. He pulled me against his chest while I adjusted my shorts again before frowning at him.

“You didn’t have to be so mean you know?” I cross my arms over my chest as I tried to ease my panting. He shrugged before kissing my cheek.

“Serves him right for liking my girl.”

“Dónde están?” (Where are you guys?)

Our heads snapped to the sound of my dads voice getting closer. I pushed him away and quickly sat on the opposite side of the counter before my dad came in.

“Aquí estamos apa!” I say back. He stepped into the kitchen and stared at the both of us. (We’re in here dad!)

“Por que tan callados?” He asked suspiciously, turning his attention to Miguel who shrugged. (Why are you guys so quiet?)

“Por nada solo le decía que ese muchacho que le dio flores está enamorado de ella” Miguel smiled in a teasing manner before my dad turned back to me. (Nothing, I was just telling her that the guy that gave her flowers has a crush on her.)

“A lo mejor si mija échale ojo!” My dad laughed before going back into the living room. (Maybe my girl, keep an eye on him!)

I glared at him. He motioned me over with his hand, making sure my dad was out of sight. I peer into the living room before going back to him again.

“What?” I whisper.

“There’s gonna be something waiting for you tomorrow morning. Be on the look out okay?” He whispered back before planting another kiss on my cheek. I smiled before nodding as we both head back into the living room.

•✿❀✿•

I woke up bright and early to get a head start on my homework before running some errands. After finishing some assignments there was a soft knock at the front door. I waited a bit before heading out and opening the door.

An enormous bouquet of roses laid on the door mat. My mouth fell open as I looked around for anyone in sight that could have left them. I pick them up and shut the door behind me. There was a small note on the top that read:

“Estas flores son más hermosas que las que te dio ese idiota.

Con mucho amor, M”

(These flowers are way more beautiful than the ones that idiot gave you. With love, M)

Yeah. Definitely an understatement.

[moonpascaltoo]

mattheo riddle

MASTERLIST • SLYTHERIN BOYS • 11/22/24

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ · ୨ৎ recs

𑣲 no smoke, only love in the air I @papercorgiworld

When the guys notice that you don’t like their smoking habit they quit, but dealing with the withdrawal has your boyfriend constantly needy for a kiss.

𑣲 pansys interrogation I @/papercorgiworld

Weird behaviour and rumours have Pansy asking questions and figuring out who the guys are crushing on.

𑣲 mattheo I @/papercorgiworld

The things Mattheo Riddle does for love

𑣲 gryffindor fevers I @/papercorgiworld

While the Slytherins usually bully you, everything drastically changes when you go missing and Mattheo finds out he might have, what Pansy calls: Gryffindor fever.

𑣲 can’t catch me now I @unmarlou

your disappearance alongside the golden trio during the rise of his father leaves mattheo hallow.

𑣲 please please please I @writingsbychlo

mattheo is your slightly toxic, slightly unhinged, but absolutely adoring and completely obsessed boyfriend.

𑣲 hide and seek I @/writingsbychlo

you and mattheo play a little game on hallowe’en.

𑣲 for you I @mrsbarnesblog

Mattheo gets into another fight with a new guy and when Professor McGonnagal surprisingly do not punishes your boyfriend for it, you discover what she really thinks about your relationships.

𑣲 whos afraid of little old me I @thestarsarebrightertonight

mattheo riddle isnt scared of anything , but when you blew up at him for messing up your potion. he felt fear for the first time. fear of a usually bubbly hufflepuff.

𑣲 i can fix him (no i really i can) I @/thestarsarebrightertonight

mattheo riddle is cold as ice , he always has been , so who are you to think you can fix him?

𑣲 the alchemy I @/thestarsarebrightertonighy

mattheo riddle hasnt left you alone with his relentless flirting since third year , youre sick of it! or are you?

𑣲 love blooms in strange places I @amongemeraldclouds

When Mattheo was assigned to help you tend to the greenhouse as punishment, he never expected detention could be so pleasant.

𑣲 apocalypse I @sadnymi

𑣲 cloud nine part 2 I @/sadnymi

The "jinx girl," as they call her, is said to bring bad luck. However, when Mattheo Riddle decides to get to know the school's most neglected girl and takes matters into his own hands, Y/N's life is turned upside down in a mere night.

𑣲 on a night like tonight I @weasleyreidstyles

𑣲 starlight I @wordsarelife

mattheo had been liking you for years and when you loose your cat, it's finally his time to prove how good of a boyfriend he would be

𑣲 the game I @/wordsarelife

after one night with you, mattheo can't help but want more. sadly, you aren't the type for relationships

𑣲 unexpected I @suugarbabe

𑣲 magical creatures I @/suugarbabe

𑣲 mirrorball moon I @iris-qt

mattheo riddle goes out of his way to make your life a living hell. what happens when jealously takes over at the yule ball? how will he fix things…

𑣲 5 days to forever I @/iris-qt

mattheo riddle strikes up a bet with his friends which gives him 5 days to confess to the girl of his dreams. he tries and tries but something always seems to interrupt them.

𑣲 brain and heart I @muntitled

Jealousy makes the heart grow fonder.

𑣲 a green and silver ring I @miryum

An arranged marriage between you and Mattheo, one that might lead to something beautiful

𑣲 brother best friend I @pizzaapeteer

𑣲 yes, really I @ageofstarkey

you’re drawing in the astronomy tower to clear your head & mattheo finds you

𑣲 poor thing I @/ageofstarky

you’re on your period, and matthéo’s there to help you feel less awful.

𑣲 can’t move on I @0luv9

He was done fucked, a weak man on his knees for her, mad for her, in love with her and funny enough she didn't know. Him sleeping around isn't helping him though.

𑣲 sharp kisses I @crvptidgf

after begging Mattheo to mark you as his, he finally gives in

𑣲 if i can’t have you baby I @angelfic

you weren't quite used to the attention of other boys, and it seems your brother's best friend isn't too fond of it either

𑣲 blurb I @amiableness

𑣲 heart on my sleeve I @theostrophywife

𑣲 one of the girls I @mxrccuryy

you're tired of being mattheo’s situationship but he doesn’t seem to get that until it is too late. another night of being left as just another one of those girls makes him realise that maybe you are different

𑣲 do you still care? I @sunkissedscribbles

mattheo’s plan to see if you still care backfires completely and ends with a breakup, but are you two able to resolve what's gone wrong?

𑣲 we aren't over I @slytherinslut0

FWB gets jealous seeing you kiss another guy at a party after the two of you had called things off.

𑣲 fear I @deadghosy

fearing to harm your lover, you drink blood from another. Making the riddle himself feel jealous and angry at how you could think he can’t take it.

𑣲 me and the devil I @ahqkas

they didn't understand how you did it, how you tamed the devil, how you made him fall so deeply in love with you that the darkness in him seemed to shrink in your presence. but the truth was, you hadn't tamed him at all. you’d simply loved him, and that was all mattheo riddle ever needed to be tamed

𑣲 home is wherever i'm with you I @lexamiele

𑣲 are you ladies alright? I @allurearia

where mattheo certainty didn't expect you of all people to open the door.

[rocky-dangerbuff-art]

Bruce is canonically 70% hair and you can't convince me otherwise

Also, he is jaked as shit did you see how easily he yeeted Branch into the air compared to when JD broke his back like an old man. Anyway Clay is up next so wish me luck. It's time to draw the goblin child

Also' I made a Brozone custom colour pallet if anyone is interested it's on my alt account

Links to the rest of Bros

John Dory

Clay

Floyd

Branch