#lucas long bios

[kevotsuka]

I love your fics and world building kev. I think a few months ago Motogp was a much smaller community but you should post, there are more people to read it now! 💗

oh thanks for thinking that about my -lack of- work !! 💞✨ I really love do world building and timelines, so that's makes my heart warm. But I can't write in english in any ways who can makes me comfortable to publishing here :''

Even if I know here are a lot of people who would read if i post in spanish, I'm also know to much about how fandom works, so i could never post any of them. After a bad experience in other fandom i lost any kind of courage in that area,,,

Tambien amo demasiado la atención y prefiero no buscarla antes de sentirme miserable por no ganarla, pero esos son mis problemas de autoestima y ansiedad yadayada

jajaja /muere

[fallatyourfeet]

No Negotiations (Thomas Shelby x Reader - One shot)

Summary: Tommy thought he had been very careful keeping his relationship with YN a secret, but no, his number one enemy had discovered you. And these things rarely playout well in the world of the Peaky Blinders.

Word count: 1807

Warnings: Quite a few F bombs and quite a bit of angst. Maybe it ends well, maybe it doesn't.

A/N: This fic was a request and it's been a long time coming. I'm so happy to finally post something again.

Gif: I don't know who this Gif belongs too, but I'd love to give credit to the creator if anyone knows.

Please feel free to send me a message/comment/ask, I would love to know what you think.

If you like this, please feel free to visit my blog and take a look around! You can find my masterlist in my bio.

It was a particularly complicated time in Tommy’s life. There were a lot of different things going down. Dangerous things. And it most definitely was not a great time to be dating anyone. But YN wasn’t just ‘anyone’. To Tommy, she had very quickly and very unexpectantly, become everything. For the past year, it was YN that kept him sane during the whole fracture between his family. And with Luca Changretta still plotting his revenge against every single member of the Shelby clan, he thanked God that he had kept her completely separated from his family and business life. She was his escape. With her, his existence was simpler, uncomplicated. Cherished. Every secret second he stole by her side recharged him, settled him in ways he could never have imagined. Every night spent warming her bed gave him hours of blissful dreamless sleep. So, when he looked up from the ringside during the Goliath vs Bonnie Gold match to see her seat empty, he found himself unable to breathe.

Tommy started the night in good spirits, just happy knowing YN was there. Even if she was sitting anonymously across the opposite side of the hall, finding his thoughts already caught amongst the quiet moments he would steal away with her at the end of the night. When Arthur grew concerned of the men in Goliath’s corner, he urged him not to worry, to calm down and enjoy the match. And even when one of the men disappeared from ringside and Arthur felt the need to investigate, Tommy thought it was his older brother’s paranoia taking hold. But when Arthur didn’t return before the second man in Goliath’s corner slipped into the crowd, Tommy instantly found his stomach in knots, his eyes gravitating to YN’s seat.

It was empty.

Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe she had slipped away to the ladies. Or maybe she found herself completely disinterested in boxing and left to wait for him at their hotel room. Or maybe the growing knot in his stomach told him something much more unthinkable was taking place. Jumping from his seat, Tommy wasted no more time, easily slipping through the crowd, following the same path as Arthur.

It was unnervingly quiet walking down the passage and into the back rooms of the venue, Tommy barely registering the excitement of the crowd as it faded into the background. Only interested in the silence around him. But it was too much. Bellowing out both YN and Arthur’s name, his voice echoed and bounced off the tiled walls around him, his call answered by a gun shot. Tommy’s blood ran cold. The deafening sound vibrated through every cell in his body as if it had pierced his very flesh and Tommy couldn’t escape the hollow feeling that YN was somehow tangled in the mess.

Tommy moved desperately in and out of doorways in the direction of the gunshot, finding nothing. Until he turned the corner into a dimly lit room. But there was no mistaking what he saw, and he knew the scene before him would be forever burnt to his memory, causing him instantaneous regret. Arthur hunched over, visibly shaken as he clutched at his blood-stained neck, working hard to regain his breath. But he was alive. And beside him lay one of the men from Goliath’s corner, in a pool of his own blood, his face half blown away. But it was YN. Standing in that very same room, a room she was never supposed to be in, that had the regret burning like fire in his throat. Backed up against the cold tiled wall her whole body was trembling, arms outstretched as her hands clamped around Arthur’s pistol; knuckles white.

Tommy stepped into the room, startling her. Terrified, her trembling body swung around to face him, waving Arthur’s pistol unsteadily in his direction. All her features were overcome with fear, drained and washed out, his regret now burning bitter in his mouth. Moving towards her, he outstretched his hands, recognition dawning across her face. And when he whispered her name, she fell apart.

Simultaneously, the pistol slipped from her fingers, as her body slid down the wall, Tommy reaching her before she hit the floor, cradling her head, whispering against her ear, “It’s okay… you’re okay. I’ve got you.” Shaking his head, he found it hard to keep control of his voice, guilt ripping through his words, “I’m sorry… I’m so fucking sorry… I didn’t want this for you… I…” Tommy felt sick seeing her this way. Because of him, she had taken a man’s life, she didn’t deserve that kind of burden and there was nothing he could do to take it back.

“Tommy.” Arthur’s hoarse voice broke through his stupor. Looking across to his brother, he was no longer hunched over, but was instead standing before him, a steady stream of blood running from a gash to his neck. Speaking again, he gestured to the body on the floor, his words rough and strained, “I don’t know who the hell she is, Tommy, but he was tryin’ to drag her out the fuckin’ door.” Running blood-stained hands through his hair, he rubbed the back of his head, “I ripped her from his grip, but he fuckin’ got me Tommy, he had me… I’d be dead. She saved my fuckin’ arse.”

Tommy shuddered, not even allowing himself to think about what might have happened if Arthur didn’t reach her in time, all while he was too busy ignoring his brother’s concerns. Sudden gratitude spilled from his mouth, “Thank you, Arthur. You were right… I didn’t listen, but you were fucking right.”

Arthur crouched down, and whispered as if there were people in the room who could listen, “Who is she Tommy, and what does Changretta want with her?”

Surely the fact that he was on the ground cradling YN was explanation enough, but Tommy answered anyway, “She’s my girlfriend… I love her… that’s the all reason he needs.” And it was those words as they left his lips, that brought about an instant and upsetting decision.

Luca Changretta was no longer a threat. He had been dealt with in the most final way. Until the moment Arthur unloaded a bullet into his head, Changretta thought both Arthur and YN were dead, leaving Tommy’s exit plan for the mafia boss sailing through without a hitch. But there was still one thing left for Tommy to do. Something that tore at his insides, just thinking about it. But there was no other choice.

It was necessary.

Staring at YN’s front door, he took a deep breath, unable to put it off any longer. Lifting the iron knocker, he tapped it against the timber and cleared his throat, waiting for the sound of her footsteps and yet, hoping not to hear them. Never had he waited at her door with such trepidation, any stress or worries usually melted away the moment his eyes caught sight of her house. Always far too confident that he’d never been seen. God, he had been so fucking stupid.

YN opened the door with one of her breathtaking smiles, she was not going to make this easy. Fuck, he was going to miss those smiles. Burning the image to memory, he went to speak, but she leaned forward and planted a kiss to his lips, her sweet voice announcing, “Thomas Shelby… you’re late, you’re never late.” Tommy inhaled deeply, knowing that soon enough he wouldn’t be able to recall the sound of her voice, when what he really wanted was to wake up to it every single morning.  

Internally nodding, Tommy realised she was right, he had been putting this meeting off all afternoon, and when she stepped aside to let him come in, he found his feet cemented to her doorstep, his voice lost upon his lips. Seeing his hesitation, her features suddenly clouded with apprehension and concern. And it tore him to shreds. “What’s wrong, Tommy? What happened?” Grabbing his hand, she pulled him inside, sitting them both down in the parlour, “Tell me, what’s going on?”

Tommy didn’t want to be inside her house, he wanted to drop the news and leave, but she deserved more, so much more. Chewing on his lip, he inhaled deeply and cleared his throat, working hard to keep his voice convincing, “YN… I… I can’t be with you anymore.” YN jumped from the seat as if he’d slapped her. Tommy’s eyes shifted to the floor, concentrating on a scratch in the timber beside his foot, “It’s not safe anymore… people know who you are now… I… I’d never survive if something happened to you... I’d never forgive myself.”

“Tommy!” A few seconds of silence followed before she called his name again, “Tommy… you need to look at me!” This was not a good idea, no good could come from seeing her face, but how could he deny her? After everything she had given him over the past year. All those stolen moments and blissful memories… memories that would keep him functioning during all the lonely nights that would follow without her.

Lifting his head, he kept his gaze unfocused, worried her expression might destroy his resolve. Not that it mattered, her words and tone conveyed everything. She was furious. But she didn’t raise her voice once. “No… No Tommy.” Her comment snapped his eyes into focus and the determination he saw; on her face; in her posture, it took him by surprise.

Shifting in his seat, he couldn’t think, couldn’t stop the internal wall of his will from crumbling, with every word she spoke. “I won’t let you do this. I could die crossing the road today. I could get sick tomorrow and die next week. I could die giving birth or fall asleep and never wake up.” Drawing a breath, she shook her head, it was barely noticeable, “People die every day, Tommy, there’s nothing we can do about it, but I’m not going to let you give me up.”

Knealing down, her hands enveloped his face, demanding his attention, “I’m not going to miss out on a life with you, how ever long or short that may be… Do you not think I’m terrified of losing you too?”

Tommy shook his head, but his wall of resolve was gone, and he knew the words he spoke were no more than white noise, “My life… it’s dangerous… Just being with me is-”

Losing patience, she cut his white noise short with unyielding hands, refusing to let him look away. Her eyes were fierce. And her decision was final. There would be no negotiations. “Just shut up Tommy, stop talking. I love you. And I know you love me…. I’m not stupid, I know the risk I’m taking. But for you, I’m willing to take it.”

[whoopsyeahokay]

October Sun

summary: Simon hadn't planned on committing expulsion-worthy crime at 10am on a Thursday. In fact, he hadn't planned on committing expulsion-worthy crime ever. In his defense, though, his best friend's ghost had been emphatic about getting into Mr. Anderson's phone, and it'd been the only course of action he could think of to prove she could rely on him. Simon had regretted it as soon as it'd happened. Fuck my life, I guess.

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: panic attacks. eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.

bon reading, frens

___________________________💀

OCTOBER SUN pt.17

Simon found you at your locker at the tail-end of lunch, trading sketchbooks for your copy of Frankenstein and your English binder. Mathilda stood beside you, merrily outlining her upcoming interview with an administrator from some posh, East Coast art academy.

You smiled and nodded in the appropriate places; giggled when Mathilda commented on something Hana had said at lunch. However, Simon noted, you weren't offering a lot in the way of conversation.

Mathilda clocked Simon first, lengthened her short frame as much as she could—spine straight, shoulders back, chin up—and leveled him with a look that could boil water. It took him a second to remember they shared History. That she'd been in Ms. Fields' class when Simon had accused Xavier of hurting Maddie and had forced the contents of Xavier's backpack to spill in front of an audience.

He wanted to pretend her hostility toward him didn't sting—because it didn't, right? They weren't friends. Mathilda hadn't shown anything but superficial interest in him since Xavier and Maddie became XavierandMaddie. To her, Simon was Maddie's plus-one. The guy Maddie took everywhere she went. Linus' security blanket in human form.

Of course, that reality only existed if Simon completely disregarded that it'd been Mathilda who'd always asked after Simon; had extended every invitation to join them for group events. She'd driven Simon home on multiple occasions, even when it'd made more sense that Hana and Lucas would have since they shared a neighborhood.

Shit, maybe he and Mathilda were friends? He'd never considered it before. How you and Mathilda and—aw crap that's right: Eli—had made significant efforts to get to know Simon. Had welcomed him into the fold of pre-established friendship and encouraged him to carve out his own place within it.

And to show his appreciation, Simon had lunged after Xavier like a vendetta with claws.

Simon waved at Mathilda weakly, eyes darting away from hers when she doubled down and fiercened her glower. Despite his height advantage, Simon considered running to the Philippines to stay with his aunt. He'd request a room with reinforced steel walls and a couple of security guards outside the door, just in case.

Did Mathilda have her passport? He should ask.

"I'm gonna head to Media," Mathilda announced before you were even aware of Simon's presence. "I'll see you in Bio." She flipped her long, purple-black hair, deliberately whipping Simon in the face with the ends as she swanned by.

"Later gator," You replied, offhand, shutting your locker and, "Oh, hey," catching Simon as he slunk into the space Mathilda had vacanted.

Simon watched Mathilda warily until she disappeared into the stream of students. Partly because he felt a weird kind of fucked up for not having sooner recognized the olive branch of friendship Mathilda had been brandishing, but mostly because he was batshit terrified she'd reappear just to punch him in the nuts.

Needing a second opinion, he blurted, "Are Mathilda and I friends?"

You startled, spluttering around an answer before reminding him, "Didn't you go with her and Eli to Comiccon when everyone else bailed?"

Holy shit. With everything going on, Simon had genuinely forgotten about that adventure. Xavier was 'too cool'. Maddie and Nicole hadn't been interested, you'd been visiting your dad in England and, well, he didn't know why Hana and Lucas had backed out, but Simon had been given Lucas' ticket. Told to treat it like a months-late birthday present.

Mathilda knew when his birthday was.

Simon groaned and hit the back of his head on the locker he leaned against. "I fucked up."

"You really didn't think she thought of you as her friend?"

"No comment." Simon pinched the bridge of his nose. Watched stars explode behind his eyes when he rubbed his lids with the pads of his thumb and forefinger.

After a short lull, you asked, "You know we're friends, right?"

"Yes?" Simon replied, the upward lilt of punctuation prompting a sour expression to your face.

"You're an idiot."

Simon readjusted so he was tilted on his shoulder, putting every ounce of apology he had in him behind his next words, "I'm sorry. I just...I figured you guys let me hang out because Maddie and I are a package deal."

Were, a voice not unlike Maddie's unhelpfully corrected, we were a package deal.

"I repeat: You're an idiot." But you said it with humor, giving Simon a crooked smile and a harmless whack to the arm. "Look, none of us pretend we're as close to you as you are to Maddie, but, Si, that doesn't mean we wouldn't help you hide a—" Body.

Simon saw the instant your brain caught up to your mouth and suddenly you curled into yourself; crossed your arms and ducked your chin into your chest.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Hey, it's okay." For the first time in a long time (perhaps the first time ever), Simon reached out to you, put a hand on your shoulder, and squeezed. "I get it." Quiet, touched, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And don't worry," You assured him, "Tilly won't hold it against you forever. Once we expose Mr. A and clear Xavier's name, she'll forget what you did to him."

"If you say so," Simon muttered. Belatedly, he registered, "Mr. A?" He hadn't heard anyone refer to Mr. Anderson as Mr. A and, as far as he knew, the only teachers to earn a friendly nickname from their senior classmates were Mrs. Bloom, the Drama teacher, and Mr. Fitzgerald, the band director. Bloomageddon and Fitz-G respectively.

You carried on as if Simon hadn't said anything, "Speaking of clearing Zav's name, I have an idea. But we'll have to do it after school when he's busy with Booster Club."

Simon remembered then why he'd sought you out, shifting to curl a hand around the phone in his sweater pocket.

"His fingerprints have to be all over that money," You explained in a stage whisper, "If we can get it to the police, they'll have to arrest him." You nudged closer when Simon didn't say anything, somehow reading him like a picture book, "Or...you have a different plan?"

Taking a fortifying breath, Simon volunteered, "I'm gonna show you something, and you can't freak out."

Dubious, "Oh-kay~."

He leaned closer, gently turned you so there was a little cave of privacy between both your bodies and the lockers. You glanced around, checking for possible eavesdroppers, before giving Simon your full attention and, damn, being on the receiving end made Simon's pulse quicken a little.

He shoved the thought aside before it could gain any ground, unwilling to make room within himself for anything that didn't directly impact locating Maddie's body.

"You can trust me, Simon."

"I know," He said, though he still needed a moment to build the confidence to show you what he'd done.

Although you'd already proven you were in this with him, willing to drown in the same dark pool of questions to resolve Maddie's murder. Although you'd obviously spent time and energy constructing a plan that, upon hearing it, Simon had to concede was a lot smarter than what he'd done. Although you'd admitted you and he were friends and you'd help him cover up a crime at the drop of a hat...

Simon was scared. Scared that he'd done the wrong thing; that he'd get expelled; that he'd hallucinated his best friend and had stolen someone's property because, oh fuck, he had a brain tumor or dormant schizophrenia or—

"Breathe." You ordered, hand flattened over Simon's heart, taking long, deep breaths of your own for Simon to mimic.

And, oh God, you'd lifted his hand from his pocket as he'd been spiraling, pressed it to your chest so he could feel the steadiness of your heartbeat under his palm. Placed safely above inappropriate, warm skin and hard bone, rising and falling slowly as you talked in a calming rhythm.

He sucked in a shuddery breath, then another, and another, lungs finally expanding to accommodate the air he so desperately needed. It took another minute for the spots in his vision to recede, another minute after that for embarrassment to flush under his skin like a sunburn.

"Sorry." He gasped, taking his hand back and returning it to his pocket. "I..."

"Stop thinking, Simon." You said in an aloe-vera tone, the sound of it cooling the hot prickle of humiliation before it calcified. "Are you okay?"

You'd asked him that almost every day since the APEX. Hell, just last night you'd made sure he was okay to drive home after your sister had called you in for dinner.

"Yeah." He said, not sure how much he meant it, but decidedly averse to unpacking his trauma in a semi-crowded hallway. "Thanks for..." What? "For that." He ended lamely and cast his gaze to his feet.

With a distinct note of sadness, you admitted, "Xavier spent a year helping me...breathe."

And Simon was grateful that you phrased it that way, suddenly drained and unable to receive another frank overture of support.

"So, what am I not freaking out about?"

Simon could kiss you, seriously. "Right, yeah." He made sure no one was watching when he pulled out Mr. Anderson's phone and held it between you and him.

You raised an eyebrow, "You want me not to freak out about your phone?"

"Not mine," Simon murmured, "Mr. Anderson's. I grabbed it off his desk this morning."

Without missing a beat, "Is it locked?"

Simon almost did kiss you then, a fizzy cocktail of so damn grateful and so damn pleased that you didn't immediately chew his head off and spit it out in front of Principal Hartman.

"Yeah. And I don't have the code. But if we can find out who he was talking to last night—"

"—We might find out what happened to Maddie." You finished, nodding like it was the simplest thing in the world. "Alright. I bet there's a YouTube tutorial for hacking into phones." Simon hadn't thought of that.

"I'll look into it. I've got a free period 'til sixth, I'll see what I can find."

"Good." You stared at the phone, eyes narrowing, "You turned it off, right?"

"No..?" Simon said as he stuffed the phone back in his pocket.

Alarmed, "Simon, if he has that Find My Phone app, he's going to catch you! You could get expelled! You need to turn it off now!"

That was another excellent point Simon hadn't thought of.

"Alright, I read you loud and clear, Major Tom, I'm turning it off." He appeased and pulled the phone out again.

"I swear to God, Simon, if you get expelled and leave me alone in this giant pile of shit, I'm gonna end up going after him with a—" You stopped before you revealed what manner of weapon you'd use, diverting yourself to, "With the threat of bodily harm."

Simon looked you up and down, uncertain how effective that would be.

"Fine." You yielded, "I'd sic Tilly on him."

Simon snorted, the image as horrifying as it was awesome. He briefly wondered if you and he shouldn't recruit Mathilda to the investigation. She was tenacious and clever and probably knew a thing or two since her mother was a big-shot lawyer who commuted to the city every morning to prosecute criminals.

"Why wasn't that our first plan?" He joked and then returned his attention to the phone.

Just as he was about to press the button to turn the damn thing off, a throat cleared behind him, followed by an unsettlingly pacified voice.

"Simon Elroy?"

Ms. Chung. The grief counselor.

Fuck his whole life, front to back.

He quickly hid the phone in his pocket and spun around, forgot that you and he had been stood particularly close until he heard you grunt, his backpack knocking you in the chest.

"Um, yes?" He answered politely while inside he cursed that he couldn't plead for you not to leave him alone with her.

"Can I have a word, please?" Ms. Chung asked, the inferred privately directed over his shoulder at you. Her open expression didn't falter, even as Simon began to stumble over a half-baked excuse. "This will only take a moment," She assured and took a meaningful step closer.

You came around and bumped Simon's shoulder with yours. Friendly, casual, except that your gaze was fixed on Ms. Chung. Something unpleasant churned beneath the public face of respect you gave her, and if Simon didn't know better, he'd think she'd committed some sort of offense against you.

Ms. Chung, on the other hand, seemed unperturbed, returning your odd standoffishness with a serene, Woodstock smile.

Had you already been to see her?

At last, "I'll see you in Psych," you said and excused yourself, leaving Simon woefully alone for Ms. Chung to poke, prod, pry his feelings out of him one by one.

It was fine. He was fine. He'd let her say her piece, tell her what she wanted to hear to get her off his back and be on his way.

Ms. Chung's eyes glittered and her smile grew teeth.

Simon audibly gulped.

💀___________________________

PART SIXTEEN - PART EIGHTEEN

also available on AO3!

MASTERLIST

[wowthatsextra]

Every time someone refers to Clark as Lionel's "second son" it's so ironic because Lionel has had THREE bio sons. He spent all his life either abandoning or abusing them and then decided to seek redemption by playing at being a loving father to the literal Saviour of the World 🙄 In Chloe's words, "I forgot you are an intensely spiritual man. You amassed all the power a human can have until you found out about Clark. Befriending him is the closest thing you will ever have to seeing God."

This is also why it is ridiculous and cruel that Clark tells Lex that Lionel would have been proud of him too if he was worthy of it. Lionel created the monster and tried to wash his hands off it by finding a new son whose existence fed his eccentricity. "Clark is the kind of son a father can be proud of" as a statement had nothing to do with who Clark was as a person and everything to do with what he represented. There's a common denominator in Lionel's parenting of all of his sons, Clark, and it wasn’t THEIR unworthiness. If anything, Lex's mistake was wanting Lionel to be proud of him for so long.

Speaking of common denominators, Clex is the THIRD Cain and Abel dynamic Lionel himself sets up between his "sons" - after Lex/Lucas and Lex/Grant (fourth if you count Lex/Julian considering that was what Lilian was trying to prevent when she killed baby J).

I wish I could say it was OOC of Clark to say that and it's just the show being inconsistent and making him the narrative's self-insert but this is not the first time he's been insensitive to Lex's parental trauma. I guess you pick up a few things when you are Jonathan Kent's son.

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini ♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter four

Pink Peonies

Series masterlist

Previous part: expendable next part: Rearview

Word count: 7,972

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions and descriptions of sexual acts, anxiety, and sever depression.

The week leading up to your final evaluation was nothing short of absolutely miserable.

Between losing Steve and Bucky, the only two people that made the compound a bearable place for you, fully processing your breakup with Harvey, and the stress that came along with such an important test made you feel like you were completely lost.

You showed up to work and private training like a good little agent regardless of how much internal pain you felt looking at Steve's face. You endured the two hours of uncomfortable silence with him after enduring working alongside Harvey for 5 hours, then went to the gym and worked out to make sure you stayed prepared and in tip top shape for evaluation.

But once your day was done and you were left to your own devices, it felt like you were shattering and crumbling between the walls of reality.

You could barely eat with the constant stomach ache you've had since Friday night, you could barely sleep through the sheer amount of racing thoughts in your head or the pain of your heart that felt physically broken, and in the morning you barely got yourself out of bed.

Showering and brushing you teeth felt like fighting a war, drinking water might as well have been an Olympic sport, your hair stayed up in a bun or a ponytail because doing anything more than brushing it wasn't in the cards for you.

The highlight of your day recently had been a phone call from Jane and Luca around 6:30pm, it was simple but still enough to keep you going. Your sister fed you just enough encouragement to get to your evaluation, and your nephew was just adorable enough to put a smile on your face even if it was short lived. They encouraged you to keep going, and promised they would be there for you on evaluation day.

It was a graduation of some sorts. Agents got to have close friends and family come watch and support them on the test day, and you we're looking forward to them finally getting to be in the compound with you.

However, all the happiness of Luca getting to live his dreams of seeing the Avengers compound was clouded with anxiety about Steve. You knew he would see his favorite superhero, and you knew there was absolutely nothing you could do to keep that from happening. But you were unwilling to not have your favorite little human not at such a monumental achievement in your life.

Luca watching you become an official, fully operable agent was important to him, almost more than it was to you. So you just hoped and prayed that Steve would react kindly to him, and your sister would react kindly towards Steve after knowing everything that happened between you two. For your sake and the five year old's, you needed everyone to just momentarily pretend like everything is alright.

The night before the big day had you in shambles. Your hands had been shaking with anxiety all day long, and as every minute passed and got closer to evaluation day, the anticipation killed you a little less slowly and a lot more aggressively.

You tried everything you could to calm your nerves. The animated movie illuminating your living room was going by unwatched, the comforting bowl of pho you got yourself was getting colder and less enjoyable with every individual noodle you convinced yourself you had to eat, and the quick shower you needed to take turned from a 10 minute task to a 45 minute one. You couldn't convince yourself to get in, then once the hot water rushed against your body with a comforting pressure, you couldn't convince yourself to get out.

Eventually the walls of your apartment felt like they were swallowing you whole, and no nook or cranny could provide you enough peace to calm your mind. So you threw on a big hoodie and grabbed a blanket before walking the halls until making it outside of the high tech building and onto the lawn.

You found a perfect spot tucked away by the building, it was clear enough out to see all of the stars twinkling in the night sky, and the moon was big and bright. So you laid out your blanket, and laid out on the underneath the night sky.

Rather than letting all of your thoughts and all of the new changes in your life scare you, you tried to slow them down and think through them logically. You thought about everything Steve said to you, what his feelings for you meant and how they affected what you thought you once knew about him and what they meant for you in the future.

You thought about how Harvey was probably going to fail his evaluation tomorrow, and how he would proceed after the fact. Would he give up working for Shield, or would he try again come next evaluation day?

You tried your hardest to avoid thinking about Bucky, because the situation with him was a new kind of pain. The platonic love you had for him was immeasurable, and day by day you found it harder to not forgive him. Because when it came down to it, you understood why he told Steve about your one time escapade. But for as long as Steve was upset, you knew it wasn't worth trying to mend your friendship with Bucky.

Rather than trying to run away from all of the hurt in your heart, the stars and the moon encouraged to you sit in those feelings for awhile. You got about 20 minutes into accepting them for what they were and working through them without pushing them away.

A few tears rolled down your cheeks, but you accepted those too. Instead of wiping them off your face, you just let them drip off the bottom of your jaw with the understanding that they would dry when they were ready.

Footsteps and booming laughter approaching from a distance made you sit up instead of laying flat on your back, not wanting to worry the people about to walk though the area. You tucked your knees to your chest and hugged your legs while continuing to watch an occasional lonesome cloud slowly pass by in the dark sky.

All of the grounding work you did to try and calm your mind and ease your broken heart was reversed as the laughter and footsteps came closer, and you started to recognize the people that the voices belong to. And sure enough, they came into eyesight faster than the universe allowed you to walk away.

Steve and Bucky turned the corner, and they were obviously very happy. Their laughter over what you assumed was an inside joke you were never included in didn't falter. Their happiness and humor felt insensitive at the moment, there was a split moment where you couldn't fathom that they were so jovial at time where you haven't genuinely smiled in almost a week.

You curled yourself up smaller and held your breath, hoping they wouldn't notice you or your slow falling tears. Though you were quiet, made yourself small, and sat in the dark on the grass furthest from the concrete path, they were trained to sense other people around them.

As if you had greeted them first they both stopped at the same time, their laughter fading just to give a friendly greeting to whoever was sitting out there. Only when they looked at you did you try to subtly wipe your tears and unblock your nose. With the hood of your jacket over your head, you could tell it took them a moment to recognize it was you.

You could see the very second your identity dawned on them, both of their shoulders fell and Bucky's face looked apologetic. Steve looked at his watch before looking at you.

As if you knew it was going to happen, your eyes met the grass before you let them look into his. You hadn't made eye contact with him since the initial argument, and you knew that killed him slowly and painfully.

They could both tell you were hurt, but especially Steve. Every single day he's seen you at work you looked just a little worse. It was as if you were slowly deteriorating from the person he once knew. Your big bright eyes where now dull and your eyelids were heavy, your pink cheeks were pale, your energy had sunken in.

"The sprinklers go off in two minutes." Steve told you.

Not expecting either of them to actually say anything to you, your brain couldn't process his words.

"What?" You questioned, looking up at Bucky in confusion, still refusing to look at Steve.

"The lawn gets watered every night at 10pm. It's 9:58." Bucky explained, his tone of voice was apologetic with a hint of empathy. "The sprinklers turn on in 2 minutes."

"Oh..." You understood, feeling disappointed that you had to move. "Thanks."

Expecting them to walk away, you stood up and grabbed your blanket off the grass. But when you turned around, they were both still standing there. Both still staring at you.

You moved onto the path, and they still stood there and stared. Not understanding their intentions, you cocked your head to the side and raised a challenging eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" You questioned, requesting them to stop blocking the path so you could get home and far away from them.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked.

"Just peachy" You responded simply, pushing past their two bodies to walk along the path.

They started walking behind you, all three of you needing to get to the same elevator. Your body and mind filled with dread, hoping and praying they weren't going to follow you in and get in the same elevator as you. But just in case they were, you tried your hardest to stop crying. You were far too stubborn to let them get a rise out of you.

"You don't seem very Peachy." Bucky said. You could hear the pout and genuine concern in his voice. "We still care about you, Bug. We're worried about you."

"Don't call me that." You sadly shook your head. "And maybe speak for yourself."

Steve sighed at your comment, and you missed the way he tossed his head back trying his hardest to remain composed. He felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. Of course he cared about you, of course he was worried, but he was also mad and didn't want his words to be misconstrued as him trying to make advances towards you.

Bucky backhandedly smacked Steve's chest, trying to get him to say something. You heard the impact, and tried not to smile at Bucky trying his hardest to make it better.

As suddenly Bucky found out that Steve had feelings for you, he started recognizing that you also had very deeply suppressed feelings for him too. The difference was that you pushed them down because your heart was so disconnected from your soul from the amount of torment you went through on a daily basis. Your confidence had never been lower, you genuinely believed you weren't worthy of love, and no part of your heart was open enough to let in or accept that anyone could ever care for you the same way you did for other people.

The compound wasn't good for you, and he knew they made it worse. He wanted to fix it, he wanted both of his best friends to be happy.

"I care about you too, 306." Steve mumbled, hoping it wouldn't back fire.

You just kept walking, trying to blink back the new rush of tears in your eyes and noting that the sprinklers did really turn on at 10 o'clock.

"Why are you out here so late? You have a big day tomorrow." Bucky noted. "I know you're upset and rightfully mad at us, but I'll be there cheering you on tomorrow. No matter what happens I'm always rooting for you."

"Are you sure that's not going to make things weird?" You sassed, but your comment wasn't directed towards him. It was meant for Steve, and he felt the bitterness in every word.

Once again, you heard Bucky's metal hand make harsh contact with Steve's chest. This time it was accommodated with a small 'oof' but he had nothing to say in response to that comment.

"You're going to do great." Bucky said.

You reached the door to the lobby and Steve rushed to the handle to open it, but you got to it before he did, pulling it open and walking through, letting each of the boys hold it open for themselves.

"Thanks." You accepted.

A thick and uncomfortable silence took over as they followed you to the elevator, waited for the doors to open, then the three of you got into the small confined space together.

The silence was so intense that they could hear your tiny sniffles, and you nearly bumped Steve with your elbow as you rushed to wipe away a tear.

They rode it up to your floor first since they lived 3 floors above you, and you felt immediately relief as it stopped on your floor and the doors slid open once more.

Steve's heart thumped so hard he could hear the rush of blood in his ears. He knew this was his last chance to say something before your big day, and he knew he would kick himself if he didn't.

"Good luck." Steve offered with an artificial tight lipped smile. "It'll be easy for you, promise."

As if he said nothing at all, you got off completely unaffected by his words.

"We love you!" Bucky shouted as the doors closed behind him.

You got back to your place and bolted the locks behind you, not even letting yourself begin to unpack that interaction before diving straight into your bed and willing yourself to sleep.

Unfortunately, the morning came way too fast. Your phone was flooding with notifications from your out of state friends and family wishing you well on your big day. And as you slid into your uniform, and did your hair and makeup, you started receiving texts that your support had arrived to the compound.

Making the walk down to the training room and getting checked in was the scariest part. Once everything was set in place and you were waiting for your evaluation to start, you stretched out your arms, legs, and back while looking out into the crowd of your colleagues friends and family.

Surprisingly, you were feeling pretty good. You spotted your Mom and Dad, Sister and Brother in law, Luca all sitting clumped together. Sitting with them was Bucky and Natasha, who also brought along Tony who sat with sunglasses on and a face so straight while he pretended like he wasn't there.

Then walked in Steve, him and Commander Bennett, and Agent Maria Hill were the three leaders who graded each agent on their final and most important test.

The grading system was simple. It was pass or fail, with a note explaining why.

You could hear Luca's little voice through the small crowd of people when Steve walked in wearing his suit. His tiny little voice projecting the announcement that "Oh my gosh CAPTAIN AMERICA IS HERE!" Was just too damn cute for anyone to ignore. It earned lots of laughs from everyone in the room, and it brought a big smile to Steve's face.

Of course he immediately knew who that voice belonged to, but that didn't stop him from finding him in the crowd and waving at him. He understood why you loved the kid so much, he was just about the cutest thing Steve had ever seen.

He noticed Luca looking at you after he waved at him, so he looked at you too. You had a big smile on your face just for five year old who was bouncing with excitement, but Steve could tell the difference between your genuine happiness and the fake smile smeared on your lips.

Eventually the evaluation started. Agents were tested 5 at a time, all running the same sort of obstacle course and shooting test. By the end of each evaluation, it seemed as though each agent was struggling to catch their breath while dripping sweat. A few of them even sprawled out on the floor the second they crossed the finish line.

But you? When you finished your evaluation Steve noticed you were barely panting. Not a hair on your head was out of place, your makeup was still perfect, he couldn't even spot a single bead of sweat along your hairline.

He knew it would be easy for you, he practically passed you before you were even properly evaluated, but the way you were almost unaffected by the rigorous testing and walked away from it without batting an eye was even impressive to him.

The worst thing Steve took away from this, was the understanding of how deeply down bad he was for you. Because even in the midst of the pain of hurting each others feelings, he was immensely proud of you, and never found you more attractive than in this moment.

Because even as you walked up to the three assessors to collect your results, you still refused to look him in the eye. Although his feelings for you were completely misunderstood, he respected the way you held your ground in order to protect yourself and what you believe in.

It was a big improvement from the way you let Harvey drag you along through miles of mud and utter bullshit.

When you looked down at your papers, a very humble, yet genuine smile took over this time, and Steve was happy to see it. You didn't even bother reading the notes that were written for you before walking away quickly to unite with your family.

Steve watched from afar as your parents embraced you both at the same time. Your mom left kisses on your cheeks, your dad the top of your head. With no hesitation, your sister who had your kind eyes and familiar beauty joined the hug, followed by your brother in law, then Luca who tried his hardest but just ended up with his arms embracing your legs.

He couldn't help but to smile as you bent down and picked up the 5 year old, he flopped upside down before you lifted him up and over your head to sit on your shoulders. His belly laugh bounced off the smooth walls as he reached down and grabbed your cheeks, tipping your head upwards to look at him.

"Can I meet Captain Rogers?" He asked.

In an instant, your authentic smile turned plastic. "Who?" You joked.

Steve stood a little straighter, then made awkward momentary eye contact with your dad. Steve died a little on the inside when he politely motioned asking him to come here, presumably to meet Luca, but a part of him wondered if he had heard the news of what happened between him and his daughter. Keeping a professional face, he did consider that he was about to get his ass kicked by the man who created you.

"Look, Luca, he's coming over now!" Your dad announced.

"Oh, what a joy!" Your sister smiled wide, squeezing your arms and shaking you around a bit.

Okay, Sister definitely knows.

One deep breath for you and Steve, and your brave faces were on.

"Congratulations, Agent." Steve spoke firmly as he approached. "You did great, far beyond expectations."

"Thank you, Captain." Just like that, you made eye contact with him for the first time in a week. It was a testament to deep love you had for your family, but especially for Luca. You'd be damned if you crushed his tiny superhero loving heart, so you did your best to pretend like everything was perfectly normal. Luckily, five year olds can't see lingering pain deep behind your eyes like Steve could. "This is Luca, he's very excited to meet you. He was wondering if you would take a picture with him."

"Hey buddy! I've heard so much about you!" Steve's smile widened at the boy who was in absolute shock, staring right back at him with wide sparkly eyes and a slack jaw. "I heard you're going to join the Avengers soon, is that true?"

"I'm only 5!" The boy giggled.

"What?! You look strong enough to be an Avenger!" Steve enthused, "let me see how strong you are, give me a high-five."

Steve stuck his arm up over your head, and your nephew smacked his hand as per request. After hearing their two hands meet in the middle, Steve pulled his away and shook it off "oh yeah, we definitely have a future superhero on our hands."

"My mommy and daddy said I have to be a teenager before I can be an agent like Auntie." Luca explained.

"They sound very smart." Steve chuckled at the boy who was wise beyond his years. "Is this them?"

Wonderful. Of course Steve would be the man to introduce himself to your family completely unprompted. You watched him shake hands with your dad, sister and her husband, meanwhile your mom went for a full blown hug. In that moment you wanted to shrivel up and let the floor swallow you whole, maybe rip your mom away and correct her mistakes for the improper greeting to such a highly decorated service man. But Steve took it like a champ, and you knew he loved it, which made you want to rip him away and tell him to stay away from your mom for the rest of eternity. You wanted him to stay away from you for the rest of eternity.

Looking around for Bucky and Nat, maybe even Tony, shit, even Harvey to try and get you out of your own personal hell was wildly unsuccessful. The room was far too busy and disorderly to plot an escape plan before your Dad was shoving Steve next to you and Luca with a camera in your face telling you to say cheeeeeeeeessseeeee.

Hopefully your smiling face didn't come across as vicious as it felt when that photo was inevitably plastered across social media for the entirety of the internet to see.

Eventually you managed to peel Luca and your Dad away from Steve and herd your family around the compound and up to your apartment. As you were leaving you could see Harvey with his head down, yet all of his browbeater friends were celebrating around him. It made you roll your eyes, but once again you moved on for the sake of your family.

As you approached the door with your key in hand and family behind you, there was a big, beautiful fresh flower arrangement in front of it with a card. Your mom made some comments about how beautiful it was as you picked it up and let them inside.

You had a feeling you already knew who it was from, so you left it on the kitchen counter and decided to read the card later as you vowed to spend much needed quality time with your family.

Although the beginning of the day was emotionally exhausting, the rest of the day felt like a big breath of fresh air. Spending time with your family in your own home made the compound feel so much warmer than it ever has. A good meal, lots of laughter, and so much play time with the little one had your parents exhausted and shuffling out of the compound around 7pm after more hugs and lots of kisses.

That left Luca and his dad that we're both fast asleep on the living room rug as the TV played a Disney movie, and Jane who was sitting across from you on the couch.

"I can feel you staring at me." You looked over at her with a questioning tone.

She had a loving smile on her face. "I'm proud of you. You've turned into such an incredible woman right in front of my eyes, and I'm just so grateful that I get to look up to my own little sister. How many people can say that?"

"Well, I still look up to you everyday." You denied her complement, but she was still looking at you as if there was more she had to say.  "Cut to the chase."

"You've spent a lot of time crying on my couch, I need to talk about the boy." She stated.

"Which one?" You grumbled. "I hate that there's 3 options."

"Steve." She said sympathetically. "I get to call him that because he hurt my baby sister's feelings."

"At least you didn't hug him." You shrugged. "Kind've don't care about respecting titles anymore."

"I know how much he hurt you, and I know he jumped the gun and is treating you unfairly compared to Bucky. I even know that you feel like your whole friendship with him was just his attempt at trying to sleep with you, but Smalls..."

"Don't say it." You plugged your ears and sunk deeper into the couch cushions.

Jane reached out and ripped your hands away from your ears. "The way he looks at you is just so sweet. And the way he was so kind to all of us and Luca even though you two aren't on speaking terms says a lot about his character. He's head over heels for you."

"The way he looks at me?" You scoffed. "He looks at me like an asset because he wants me to join the Avengers. They all see me like a little worker ant that's going to pick up the weight of their jobs."

"No, that's not it." You sister denied. "You know the truth and you're pushing him away because he hurt you. You hurt him too, even if you didn't mean it. I can see it in his body language that he cares for you, he seemed nervous for you today, and he looked so happy when you did well. That's not someone who's just trying to sleep with you and run."

"Well even if that's the truth, it doesn't matter because he's never expressed any of that to me with his own mouth." You explained. "You know how he handled the situation was wrong, he had no right to come at me with an attitude like that. Him and Bucky had no right to put all the blame on me. If he's having big feelings, he can express them with his big boy words. I'm not going to play a stupid little game with him like we're teenagers."

"I understand, and you're right." Jane validated your emotions. "But he seems really sweet... and he's absolutely gorgeous so maybe you should just consider my point of view."

"Ugh, his gorgeousness starts going blind to your eyes after a few hours. You get used to it, that's not a reason to forgive him." You lied.

"Who are the flowers from?" She quipped, knowing you lied straight through your teeth.

"I don't know."

"Should we read the note?"

"Nope." You looked straight forward at the TV screen. "That's not a question I need answered right now."

"Smalls..."

"What?"

"His gorgeousness never gets old, does it?" She called out your lie.

“... no." You threw your head back in complaint.

Eventually the three of them left as well. The day was getting late and Luca was exhausted from so much excitement, but the second you were alone in your apartment again you felt the weight of the compound right back on your shoulders.

Anxiety bloomed deep in your stomach and crawled up to your heart as you dragged your feet over to the flower arrangement that was left untouched on your counter. Your fingers struggled to open the card, but you got there eventually.

Before you even got to the note, you noticed that the arrangement was made of your favorite flower, pink peonies.

The entirety of your relationship with Harvey, he only bought you flowers once and it was after an explosive argument. Steve and Bucky came over the next day, and without fail both of them barked out a laugh at the flowers he had chosen because they weren't even your favorite kind of flower.

You didn't necessarily remember even disclosing your favorite flowers to them, yet they always referenced the bouquet of sad looking yellow chrysanthemums from the grocery store. Of course you reminded them that the type of flower or where he got them from didn't matter to you, it was just the effort and the gesture. The boys were fast to shut that sentiment down, because really, the pretty pink peonies weren't that hard to obtain, so how he managed to mess that up too was beyond your chivalrous best friends.

It didn't take long before you opened up the card inside and recognized the handwriting on it. There was an obvious effort made as it was written neatly and the lines were nice and straight.

Congratulations, Agent!

      We're all so proud of you and everything you've accomplished through hard work and dedication. We've been keeping an eye on you, and we know this journey has been difficult regardless of how easy you made it look. Watching you grow from a rookie to the highest ranking Agent Shield has ever seen has been a privilege to say the least. Although you're skillful in battle and combat, your kind heart and determination that never faltered through the journey is what will get you far. We see all the amazing qualities that make you not just a great fighter, but a great person. We could always use more people like you, and we're here whenever you're ready. From the bottom of our heart, we hope you consider a place on our team once more.

With warm regards and no pressure,

Steve + Bucky, The Avengers.

(Okay, maybe a little bit of pressure.)

You put the letter down, not allowing yourself to break down and over analyze the potential double meaning behind each of the words. The ache pounding at the back of your skull was already a nuisance, and trying to figure out why the boys were being so nice to you after treating you so poorly and denouncing your friendship was bound to make the dull ache sharper.

You dragged your feet all the way to bed before flopping in and wrapping yourself up into the tightest, fuzzy blanket cocoon.

Even with your accomplishment today, tomorrow was your first day as an official agent, and there was more work to be done.

Just like there would be the next day, and Monday, and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday....

Well, Monday through Thursday were pretty uneventful. You dug your head into the new work assignments you got now that you didn't have normal agent training, and you loved every second of it. It was worth all of your blood, sweat and tears to get there. Then you moved on to individual training with Steve that you painfully wished could be over soon.

All week you let him talk at you, and you never verbally responded. Just as much as you didn't want to be there, you could tell he didn't want to be there either. Today the two of you just sat as he showed and explained to you the different kinds of restraints you would be seeing out in the world on missions, then he would put them on himself and show you how to get out of them.

Deep regret was the only emotion you could use to describe the feeling of saying you would finish off your last few weeks with him working through your biggest fear. It seemed like a good idea two weeks ago when you still had full trust and confidence in him, but now he was flailing ropes, zip ties and handcuffs in your face while you sat completely silent, hoping your face wasn't giving away how unsettled you truly felt by this.

Maybe it would've been better if his voice wasn't so low or monotone, maybe if he actually had changed into gym clothes instead of sitting on the floor in his well put together office outfit you would feel less intimidated.

The only words that made you feel less uncomfortable today was that he wouldn't have you practicing any of this until tomorrow. But his words sat heavily on your mind and made your hands shake all throughout the rest of your day, they made you lose sleep that night, pulled your mind away from work the day of, and made the brain noise so loud that you had to listen to music in your headphones to keep your anxiety to a manageable level just to get yourself to even walk to training again.

Trying your absolute hardest not to think about what was about to happen, you looked down at your own two feet and counted each step as you made the walk, and let the melody of your favorite song distract you from reality.

Unfortunately your music wasn't loud enough to drown out the sounds of your name being called from behind you in the hallway empty besides you and one of three people you really didn't want to see.

So, you tried your hardest to ignore the tormenting happening behind you.

"I know you can hear me, stop being a bitch." Harvey's voice cut through the peaceful music.

"Stop walking I'm trying to talk to you."

"Baby, please. It'll only take a minute."

"I swear to fucking god!" This time he shouted and grabbed your arm, yanking it as hard as he could. An excruciating pain through your shoulder manifested as a yelp and your feet stoped in their place. Keeping hold of your wrist, Harvey used his other forearm to dig into your collarbones and shove you against the wall, using his body to cage you in. "Don't walk away when I'm trying to talk to you."

He ripped one of your AirPods out of your ears and stomped it with his foot. "What the fuck do you want?" You questioned, hoping and praying the pain in your shoulder that was radiating down your arm was nothing but a short term reaction to his assault on your body.

"You blocked my phone number, you ignore me when I try to talk to you in person. How am I ever supposed to get through to you?" He scolded, getting all up in your face as an intimidation tactic.

"You're not supposed to." You sassed. "That's the point. Will you let me go now? You're going to make me late."

"Did you pass evaluation?" He asked.

"I'll tell you if you let me go."

"Of course you did." He got even closer and his voice louder. The whole font of his body was pressing into yours, creating an uncomfortable vice between him and the wall. "You never would've passed had it not been for your scheduled time to jerk off Captain Rogers every day."

"Is that what you're telling yourself to feel better about your failed assessment?" You asked, exhausted of the narrative that your success only came at the mercy of the men around you.

"Why would you think I failed?"

"Because you're sloppy, you don't take your job or the training seriously, you've spent more of you energy worrying about me more than yourself, oh, and your uniform still has the rookie patch on it." You let your words flow out of you like venom. Frankly, you didn't care if it upset him, traveled through his blood and left a toxic taste in his mouth.

Your shoulder was killing you, you were tired and angry, and in the middle of an argument with two grown men over the fact that you quite literally did not jerk Steve off. So yeah, you weren't going to bat your eyelashes and smile at a man who had you pinned against a wall.

Harvey was speechless for a moment, so you continued. "So, I don't think you failed, I know you failed. And I didn't only pass because of Steve. He helped me, but I was doing well before him and I'll continue to do well after him."

You used all your force to shove Harvey off of you, in a moment of shock from your words and behavior, he stumbled back. Then, he was angry all over again.

He tried to throw a punch right at your jaw, but you blocked it, and kicked him right in the stomach. Not hard enough to intend to hurt him, but hard enough to knock him off of his feet and flat on the ground.

With a groan and some struggle, he tried to get up. So you left your foot flat on his stomach as a statement. It quickly got him to stay down.

"Don't you ever try to contact me again. Not through my phone, not to my face, never." You practically growled, still trying to make sure he couldn't tell that he had caused you pain.

Once you were positive that you got your point across, only then did you remove your foot from his body, pick up your broken AirPod to keep as evidence, then start walking away.

“Everyone knows what you and Sargent Barnes did." His voice sounded from behind you.

You stopped in your tracks, oxygen momentarily leaving your lungs. "What exactly did Sargent Barnes and I do?" You asked while keeping a stern face, hoping it was all the same rumors that float around about you and Steve.

"I don't even have to tell you, because you already know what you did." Harvey denied your peace of mind. "Now I know what everyone else knows to. I should've never trusted that you were just friends with both him and Captain Rogers, and that you're the biggest slut in this place."

This time you really did walk away, ignoring his last attempts at getting you to bite into his bait by calling you a whore from his spot in the hallway unable to peel himself off of the ground.

Once he couldn't see you anymore, tears flooded your eyes but you couldn't tell of it was from the physical or emotional pain, and your gripped your shoulder trying to rationalize that you didn't need to go to the medical bay.

The last thing you wanted to do now was see Steve, but you hoped he would go easy on you considering the circumstances.

Your faith in his ability to be a kind and empathetic person completely faltered as your pushed through the doors to the gym and he was already angry at you.

"You're late." He told you sternly, his face was set in a disappointment.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and squeezed your shoulder, hoping the added pressure would help sooth your pain.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be late. I was on time then Ha-" You started explaining, looking at him with fear and tears in your eyes.

"I don't need an excuse." Steve grumbled, cutting you off and very obviously in a foul mood.

He started walking towards you with a rope in his hand, and your heart dropped to your stomach. "Wait, please just- I was on my way here but Harv-"

"I don't care, it's fine." Steve cut you off again. "We're already behind on time, let's just start."

He got close enough to touch you, and you instinctively took a big step back, but it didn't even phase Steve. He grabbed your hand off your shoulder and put it behind your back. Bracing yourself for the pain of him inevitably grabbing your other arm, you frantically let the words "he hurt me" Spill out of your mouth like vomit.

But it didn't come out fast enough, and before you knew it, both of your arms were behind your back and the pain shooting through your arm combined with the devastating realization that Steve didn't care about you anymore made you feel like you were going to be sick.

You could feel the rope around your wrist becoming uncomfortably tight, each knot he tied added another knot to your stomach. "Zero percent."

"What?" He questioned.

Your tears spilled over the edge. "Zero percent trust in you right now. Please stop and just listen to me for one second."

"You're only saying that because you're scared of the restraints." Steve rationalized. "I showed you how to get out, you'll be fine."

"You don't understand" You cried, feeling more and more unsettled by the second, a deep panic settling in your stomach. "Please, I'm trying to tell you what just happened and you aren't listening to me"

He finished up the knot then turned around to face you again. "This is the first time you've tried to even have a conversation with me in two weeks, why should I hear you out when you won't even begin to let me speak to you?"

Steve sat you down on a chair, and started tying your feet. Everything in you told you to fight it, but you were feeling unexpectedly scared of him. You knew you could never match his strength to fight off his efforts and you could never outrun him.

Your friend Steve was nowhere to be found, in front of you was only a dark and stormy Captain America. A weapon of a man with no intention of switching on the safety.

By unintentionally denying his affection towards you two weeks ago, you loaded him up and now the barrel was was pointed directly at your chest. Now, there was no empathy for your fear, no husbandry to make you feel more comfortable in a situation you told him you never wanted to be in, and no regard to what you just went through.

"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to tell you now because odds are you're going to hear about it eventually because-"

"Okay then I'll hear about it when it gets back to me. We really need to get this going" He told you. "Just calm down, and try to get out how I showed you yesterday."

"You're mad at me, and I get that, but I need my boss right now." You cried, yanking at the ropes on your wrists and ankles, none of them budging.

"I'm not your boss anymore, I haven't been since you passed evaluation." He told you, setting a timer on his phone for 54 minutes. "I only have an hour for training today because I was double booked. I'm going to leave you here to calm yourself down and figure out how to get out. I'll be right back there, either come get me when you're out, or I'll untie you at the end of the hour if you can't do it."

"Steve, don't walk away from me right now, I'm trying to tell you I need a medic." You said frantically, your panic attack hitting you harder by the second.

"Out on a mission we don't get to pick and choose when we get held hostage, consider this extra practice." He started to walk off.

You felt pathetic as your lungs stung with every panting breath, your hands shook as your fingers tried their hardest to untie the knot Steve made sure to pull extra tight, your stomach churned with uncontrollable fear, and your heart thumped so strongly and passionately that you could hear it in your ears despite the physical pain you felt in chest.

Whenever you had panic attacks, your skin broke out in a red splotchy tint, and the world seemed to spin around like a bad case of vertigo. It felt like the floor beneath you was crumbling and cracking with every moment passing, as the walls slowly closed in and the ceiling came down.

Black fuzzies and watery tears altered your vision as you pushed past the pain and tried to get your hands free. It only took about 15 minutes before the rope fell to the floor and the circulation rushed back to your hands. Untying your feet was a lot easier with two free hands, but still mildly difficult with Steve's knot tying skills and the sharp sting in your shoulder every time you exerted your arm.

You got out, you never doubted that you could. But that was never the point, and Steve would've known that had he ever just listened to you. That only fueled your panicked rage as you grabbed the ropes off the floor and stomped over to him, sitting in the very back corner of the gym watching you with a blank look on his face.

The thick ropes smacked the floor right next to his legs, exactly where you aimed as you snapped them out of your hands. "I have no interest in completing the rest of the hour you so graciously gifted me, and absolutely no interest in training with you ever again."

Steve was taken back by the fiery rage that was being directed at him. He knew he was being hard on you, but he was only being hard on you because he thought you could take it. "Woah, hold on. Let's just take a breather for a second."

"No, I don't need a fucking breather, you dipshit." You shouted at him, tears still flowing, hands still shaking. "I need to go see the doctor, that's what I need and that's what you're not understanding. I needed you to listen, I needed you to understand that I wasn't trying to get out of the lesson. I wasn't scared of your fucking ropes, I was scared of Harvey, and now I'm scared of you."

Steve immediately felt awful as your hand found your shoulder again, now that he was getting a better look he could tell it definitely wasn't in the right place. He gulped understanding that he let his pre-existing bad mood deepen the hole he dug your friendship into. "I'm sorry I didn't realize..."

"Now it's my turn to not care." You cried. "I didn't lose trust in you before, not even after you came into my apartment and yelled at me for what I did with Bucky, maybe a little after I found out our whole friendship was just because you wanted to get into my pants. But this stunt you just pulled? You've broken every ounce of trust I've ever given you and I don't think it'll ever be repaired."

"I- I didn't mean to." He said quietly, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have been so hard on you, I'm sorry, I was in a bad mood and I just... let it out on you and it wasn't fair."

"I don't deserve to be treated like this over one mistake, Steve. One. I'm sorry I accidentally hurt you, it was never my intention and I'll regret that till the day I die but I never deserved this." You cried. "Please just leave me alone now. I don't want formalities or pleasantries in passing, I don't want anymore flowers or congratulations, I don't want anything other than to just be left alone now. Because I can't do this anymore."

"Okay, I'm sorry." He surrendered, recognizing the agony you were truly in over this.

"This was way worse than anything I ever did to you." Your voice cracked. "It's a good thing you aren't my boss anymore, because as far as you're concerned I don't even exist to you anymore."

He couldn't mutter anything close to a proper apology or even a goodbye as you stomped away from him for the very last time.

Next Part: Rearview

OOP… angsty. Sound off in my inbox! I want to hear all your juicy opinions!

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[waratah-moon]

Roll for Persuasion

You were quite content living in blissful unawareness of Eddie Munson, but that all changed when your brother joined Hellfire Club. Now the loud-mouthed metal head was everywhere; and for some reason he's deadset on making you miserable.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Henderson!reader (can be read as bio or adoptive sister - visually inclusive)

Warnings: SMUT (reader is 18+, protected sex), underage drinking (in America), mean older sister/ siblings shenanigans, enemies to lovers

Word count: 7k

masterlist / read on ao3 / send me love 💌

You had never paid much attention to Eddie Munson before your senior year. You’d heard of him, of course; Hawkins was a small town and his reputation as the loud-mouthed metal head preceded him, but the two of you ran in different cliques and had never actually crossed paths.

Eddie never paid much attention to you either. He knew your name and face the same way he knew the names and faces of most of his classmates, but he thought you were just another stereotype. Another cheerleader destined for a life of middle-class suburban drudgery after peaking in high school.

But Eddie was wrong. Behind your strawberry lip gloss and perfectly styled hair you had goals beyond being a housewife. Your dad had always said you were ambitious; too smart for your own good. Your advanced placement classes and extracurricular activities had put you on track for a scholarship to some fancy out of state college and as soon as you graduated you were out of Hawkins.

The only thing you were going to miss about your small town was your younger brother. Dustin was annoying, he was also a major nerd who shared practically none of your interests, but you had a soft spot for the little twerp. It had been hard on him when your family moved to Hawkins five years ago and even harder when your father had up and left. You’d taken it upon yourself to look out for the kid. It had been a blessing he’d found friends in Mike, Lucas, and Will, but you were still thankful to be there for his first year of high school.

The first day Dustin started at Hawkins High he’d come home talking about Hellfire Club and their leader, ‘Eddie the Banished’. You hadn’t thought much about it, just glad that he and his friends had found a group to belong to amongst the high school cliques, even if it was one of the lamer clubs. That relief soon turned into annoyance when you learnt that Hellfire Club met at the same time as cheer practice, meaning your mom made you drive Dustin and his friends home.

The first time you properly interacted with Eddie Munson was about six weeks into the new school year. Hellfire had run late the last few weeks and you were not in the mood to be waiting around. The nights were getting colder and the cardigan that came with your cheer uniform was doing little to protect you from the chilly October air. After sitting in your car for half an hour you’d had enough.

Dustin had never told you where his club met but it didn’t take you long to find them; you only had to follow the sound of raucous hollering down the hallway to the drama room. The door was shut but you could see the light seeping through the crack above the floor and hear the unmistakable sound of muffled arguing. 

You swung the door open without warning, cutting someone off mid-sentence. “If you’re not in the car in five minutes I’m leaving and you can all walk home.” Your voice cut through the chatter like a knife, all heads whipping around to stare at you.

The young man at the head of the table squinted his eyes, rising from the throne he was sitting on. “This is a private meeting.”

“I’m not asking to join,” you retorted. “I’m Dustin’s sister.”

“Family day is next week.” He studied your face as if trying to place you and your name rolled off his tongue as a question. “I’ve seen you with Chrissy.”

It didn’t surprise you he knew Chrissy. You knew she’d scored special K and oxy off him a few times; you knew most of the cheer squad had bought something from him whether they admitted to it or not. Chrissy had told you, albeit in secret, that Eddie was actually a nice guy. His tone and expression right now made you question her judgement.

“You never said your sister was a cheerleader, Henderson,” he said it like an insult but he was smirking. His eyes trailed up your legs, your short skirt only just covering your thighs.

You shifted awkwardly but stood your ground. “Glad to see all that pot hasn’t affected your critical thinking skills,” you crossed your arms over your chest, tilting your head to the side. “Reckon you’ll finally graduate this year?”

“Why, already planning the reunion? Must suck when your entire personality is school spirit. What’s left to do once you’ve already peaked?”

You scowled, eyes narrowing. “Car, Dustin. Now.”

“You said five minutes,” your brother whined, eyes bouncing between you and Eddie.

“I changed my mind,” you turned on your heels and left, not caring if your brother or his friends were following.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You seemed to see Eddie more often after that first encounter. Either he was making his presence more apparent or your mind had become more aware of spotting him in the crowds. Either way, neither of you spoke to each other, but you did keep making the mistake of glancing at him; fatal errors that left him smirking after you.

You didn’t seem alone in your inability to look away, though. You’d caught Eddie staring at you in the hallways more than once, casually leaning against his locker and twisting his silver rings around his fingers. The difference between you, however, was that Eddie never looked away in embarrassment when you caught him watching you. Instead he would tilt his head, wordlessly testing to see if you would question him, knowing you wouldn’t be caught dead talking to him in public. You’d scowl whenever he did this, slamming your locker shut and forfeiting the contest. 

“Dustin won’t shut up about him.”

“Who?” You knew who he was talking about, but you acted confused nonetheless, picking at your manicure as you sat on the hood of your car.

“That freak Eddie Munson,” Steve said, jealousy coating the name. He was leaning against his own car, parked in the spot next to yours. The two of you often found yourselves chatting as you waited to pick up your freeloaders; you were waiting for your brother, Steve waiting for Robin.

“I know, it’s getting ridiculous,” you too were getting sick of Dustin’s dedicated worship to the dungeon master, but part of you was also glad he was annoying Steve too. “Maybe if you hung out with him more-”

“I have a life!”

“-he wouldn’t have so much time for Eddie,” you finished your thought. Steve groaned, throwing his head back to look up at the sun, Ray-Bans perched on his nose. “Speaking of having a life, have you asked out Linda yet?”

“Have you asked out Gavin?”

You made a retching noise. “Ugh, no. He tripped a freshman in the cafeteria the other day and my attraction to him,” you flicked your wrist. “Just like that, poof, it was gone. He has great hair though.”

“You can have great hair without being an asshole. Believe me, I would know.”

“Would you though?” You reached up to ruffle his hair, managing to mess it up before he swatted your hand away. Your giggling was cut short as Steve tugged your head back by your ponytail, loosening the hair tie until it hung limply by your shoulder blades. “Hey! I spend ages getting these curls just right.”

“And you think this comes naturally?” He stared at you a moment over the top of his Ray-Bans before the two of you dissolved into a fit of laughter. You slumped against Steve’s shoulder as the muscles in your stomach began to ache, his arm wrapped around your waist to hold you steady.

“Interrupting something, are we?” You looked up to see Eddie and Dustin standing in front of you. Eddie was holding a shoe box with a scale model of a water wheel, while Dustin was holding the poster-board portion of his science project.

Steve dropped his arm as you rolled your eyes. “If you needed help carrying stuff you should have asked,” you opened the trunk of the car, gesturing for Dustin to put his science project inside.

“Eddie offered,” Dustin tossed his bag next to the water wheel and shut the trunk. “I said I’d help Mike with his so I’ll be back in a sec.” Before you could protest that you had things to do, Dustin rushed off brushing passed Robin as he left.

“Did anyone tell him he’s heading in the wrong direction or are you all too busy standing around doing nothing?” Robin asked, opening the passenger door of Steve’s car and throwing her backpack on the backseat. She gave you a little wave before she hopped in.

“Coming to the store later?”

“Nah, can’t tonight. Got a test first thing tomorrow morning,” you sighed, drumming your fingers on the roof of your car. “I’ll come by after school tomorrow. Brooke said I need to watch Impulse. She said it’s sexy and scary.”

“The best combination. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Have fun studying,” he gave you a dorky salute before he got in the car.

You hadn’t even realised Eddie was still standing there until he spoke. “Didn’t know you and Harrington were a thing. Can’t say I’m surprised,” he dug around in his jacket pocket and produced a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

You crossed your arms, already annoyed. “Not that it’s any of your business but we’re not together.”

“Why not?” He stuck a cigarette between his lips, lighting the end. “He seems like your type. You know, an asshole.”

“If assholes were my type I’d be all over you,” it came out more as a sneer than you had anticipated but you stuck with it.

“Who says you aren’t?” When he saw your horrified expression he explained. “I see the way you look at me.”

“I only look to make sure you’re not watching me. You’re a stalker, Munson.”

“Stalker? Does the whole world revolve around you now, sweetheart? I wasn’t aware.”

“Your world does since you seem to be obsessed with me,” at this point it was pretty clear, even to you, that you were deflecting. But there was some small amount of truth in the fact that he watched you as much as you watched him. “I hate you, Eddie Munson. And I’m pretty sure you hate me too.”

Eddie smirked, blowing a spiral of smoke upwards, “it’s a thin line between love and hate.”

You blinked as you processed his words, a knowing smile appearing on your lips when it dawned on you why they sounded so familiar. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you. Now tell me, what do girls usually say when they realise your lines are stolen song lyrics?”

“That’s up to you, sweetheart. You’re the first,” he winked as he left you standing shellshocked.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It was a chilly Tuesday night, and while you would have much rather be curled up on your couch watching Moonlighting with your mom, you’d instead been dragged to a dingy bar on the outskirts of town by your friend. She had a crush on one of the bartenders; a community college student from the next town over. Inside the bar was thick with cigarette smoke and the floor was sticky with years of spilt beers. An amateur band had taken to the stage and were playing a very subjective form of music. But your friend had assured you that this bar didn’t card.

You shrunk into one of the booths, fingers gripping a tall glass of very foamy beer. You kept glancing across to where your friend sat at the counter, overly affectionate in her flirting with the man behind the bar. Stupidly, she’d been your ride here, meaning you’d either need to convince her to leave or call your mom up to come and save you. Neither seemed like great options. You looked over at the stage, the band was now playing a slower song and you had to admit it wasn’t half bad.

The guitarist was pretty good. You watched him as he concentrated on the riff, his fingers moving quickly along the neck of the guitar, his long hair and the dark stage lights obscuring his face. You couldn’t look away from his hands and suddenly very uninvited thoughts entered your head. Dirty thoughts that had absolutely no excuse to be there, especially about a man whose face you’d never seen. You shook your head trying desperately to shake free the thoughts, but they were somehow gripping onto the corners of your mind; digging in their heels and setting up camp.

You were busy trying to think about other things like kittens and rainbows that you’d barely noticed that the band had stopped playing. Only the scattered applause from the few drunken patrons woke you from your dream state. The band began packing up; unplugging amps and disassembling the drum kit and you contemplated introducing yourself to the mystery guitarist. There was something about him that felt magnetic, but you decided to watch him from a distance for a little longer. There was no point talking to him if he wasn’t cute, after all.

Every time you tried to catch a glimpse of his face something was in the way; either the bassist was chatting with him about something or other, or the bartender was refilling his drink. You were about to finally give up and admit that it was a lost cause when you looked up and saw he was alone at the corner of the stage closest to you. He was fiddling with one of the tuning keeps when he pushed his hair back, the stage light in perfect position to illuminate his face. His annoyingly handsome face.

“No,” you breathed, sinking into the booth with your head down. You did not just spend the last 20 minutes building up the courage to talk to the cool guitarist for it to turn out to be Eddie fucking Munson. You braved a glance up to see him staring right at you, “fuck.” He was smirking, just like always, as he packed his guitar into its case.

Maybe he’d leave you alone. Maybe he would pack up the amps and head off. You didn’t really believe that, groaning as you saw him making his way towards you. 

“Sure you’re in the right place, sweetheart?” He slid effortlessly into the booth opposite you.

“Wait, this isn’t the nail salon?” You feigned confusion, expression quickly souring as his arms stretched over the back of the booth. You didn’t like that he was getting comfortable. You didn’t want to like it.

“Like the set?”

“You’re not Duran Duran.”

Eddie scoffed, “I’m taking that as a compliment.” He leant forward, “what are you doing here, Henderson?”

You glanced over at your friend, it was the first time you had checked in on her in a while and the innocent flirting had advanced to making out as she and the bartender swallowed each other’s tongues. 

Eddie followed your gaze, “oh.”

“Yeah,” you downed the last of your beer. “She’s my ride.”

“I can drive you home,” he said it easily, as if it was no big deal.

You were hesitant to take him up on the offer, but due to your friend’s current activities you might just have to. “Really?” You weren’t sure how you’d manage the drive home in such close quarters.

“Sure. You can help me load the amps.”

After managing to pull your friend apart from her make out companion long enough to tell her you’d found a ride home, Eddie had stuck to his guns and made you help him pack the amps into the back of his van. His van smelled warm, like old spice and smoke, with the faint earthy hint of weed. It was nice and cosy, a safe haven from the frigid December air outside. You waited for Eddie to turn on the ignition, but he hesitated.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“What?” You weren’t expecting him to ask you that. It was true that you’d told him those three big words before, but it was more of a heat of the moment explosion than the truth. “I don’t actually hate you.” He just got on your nerves and if you were honest you weren’t even sure why.

“You obviously don’t like me.”

“You don’t like me,” you pointed out, remembering the first conversation you two had shared and the insults you’d both made at the other’s social rank.

“I do like you,” he sounded earnest, his voice soft.

You paused, “you like me?”

“Yeah, you’re not what I thought you’d be like.” You frowned and Eddie cringed, “I didn’t mean-” he attempted to grasp for the right words. “I thought you’d be a stereotype, but I was wrong. I’m sorry for what I said when we first met.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Not really,” he leant back against the headrest, his face turned to watch you. The moonlight reflected in his dark brown eyes showing shimmering flecks of amber. “Dustin talks about you a lot. He talks about Harrington too but I’m more interested in what he has to say about you.” You couldn’t help the smile that escaped through your well maintained facade of indifference and Eddie caught it. “That’s the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”

You blushed. What on earth was he doing to you? You looked down, a million thoughts raced through your head but the one you focused on was telling you to get it together.

You didn’t hate Eddie Munson, but you didn’t exactly like him either. You didn’t even know him. All you knew about him came from what your brother had told you. He liked metal music, played the guitar, and led the most epic DnD campaigns. He was cool, according to Dustin, Lucas, and Mike, and he���d taken the three freshman under his wing on the first day of school. Eddie Munson hadn’t done anything to make you dislike him, in fact the way he was looking out for your brother and his friends should endear you to him. He’d even apologised for insulting you the first time you’d met. Maybe Chrissy was right, maybe Eddie was a good guy.

You weren’t sure what made you lean in, but within seconds you were kissing him. He tasted like tobacco and beer, and ever so slightly like juicy fruit. His mouth felt warm, his tongue lingering against your bottom lip, like he wasn’t game enough to make the next move.

“Kiss me,” you urged, tugging his head towards you. That seemed to be all the encouragement he needed because the instant his lips met yours for the second time all bets were off.

He groaned as your fingers curled against his scalp, his hands landing on your hips and pulling you across the centre console onto his lap. He shrugged off his jacket, tossing it in the backseat and his movements made your back bump against the steering wheel. You didn't care, too focused on the feeling of Eddie’s hands travelling beneath your sweater, your own hands tugging the material of his raglan shirt away from his skin. You shivered as his thumbs brushed below your ribcage and you wanted nothing more than for him to explore further, but you were in his van. And his van was in the parking lot of a shady bar. And people were beginning to file out of the shady bar into the parking lot.

“Eddie,” it came out more like a moan as his lips moved to the skin on your neck.

“Hmm?” You didn’t want him to stop, you never wanted this to stop.

“It’s getting late,” it took every fibre of your being to place your hands on his chest and push him back. You hoped to God he could see the disappointment in your eyes under the flickering neon of the Hideout sign.

“Oh,” hands slipped out from beneath your sweater and landed on your waist. His fingers toyed with the belt loops on your jeans. “You need to get home.”

“I don’t want to,” you really didn’t and Eddie’s mood seemed to lighten at your confession. “But I should. I’m sorry.”

“No, s’fine,” he cleared his throat and loosened his grip on you allowing you to clamber back into the passenger seat. “You live on Vine, right?”

“Yeah,” you felt a little out of breath and you straightened your sweater as he pulled out of the parking lot. You couldn’t figure out why he made you so nervous. You’d been with boys before, popular boys too. But Eddie was different and you weren’t sure why.

The drive was silent for the next couple of minutes, tension thick in the air as you gathered up the courage to make a suggestion. “Eddie?”

“Yeah?” You could see his knuckles whiten against the steering wheel when you said his name. 

“If you don’t have anywhere to be,” you drifted off. Snap out of it, just ask him. “Do you want to come in? Everyone will be asleep.”

You could just make out his grin as street lamps flashed passed. “Absolutely.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You told Eddie to park a few houses down, saying you didn’t need to explain to Dustin why his friend’s highly recognisable van was parked out front of your house in the middle of the night.

“My brother’s room is next door so don’t talk too loudly,” you hurried Eddie into your bedroom, softly closing the door behind you and sliding the lock shut. It had taken some begging but your mom finally let you put a lock on your door after Dustin kept recording Saturday Night Live over the top of your tapes of The Love Boat.

The room felt suffocatingly quiet and you were certain Eddie could hear the hammering of your heartbeat, so you moved over to the cassette recorder and chose a tape; the opening notes to More Than This softly played through the speakers. Eddie took a seat on your bed, looking around the room while you twisted the vertical blinds shut and closed the sheer pink curtains. 

“For some reason I pictured more posters of Ralph Macchio.”

“They’re all inside my closet,” you kicked off your shoes and sat cross-legged next to him. “Along with my shrine to Thomas Magnum.”

“Is it the moustache that does it for you? Because I’ll tell you know if I grew one I’d look like a 70s porn star.”

“Wouldn’t that be kind of hot?” You moved a little closer to him, your knee pressing against his thigh.

“Have you seen the guys in porn? Definitely not.”

“I think I’ve seen maybe one porno in my entire life. Something where a girl orders a pizza-”

“With extra sausage? Then you’ve seen most of them,” he’d placed his hand on your knee now, slowly inching it up your thigh.

“This is not how I thought my night would go.”

He started to pull back but you grabbed his hand to keep him close. “Are you regretting it?”

You shook your head, your fingers intertwined with his. You wondered if his rings would leave indentations in your skin when he gripped your thighs. “No, not at all.” You took a deep breath, ready to admit to the butterflies that had been sitting in your stomach since you’d left the Hideout. “You just make me nervous.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “I make you nervous? Princess you terrify me. I’m shaking in my boots here.”

“So we both feel the same way.” You dropped his hand back against your thigh, pushing it slowly between your legs. You still had a pair of thick denim jeans on but Eddie got the message. “Maths states they should cancel each other out. You should kiss me to make sure.”

“If that’s what maths says,” he leant forward and you instinctively fell back, your head hitting the quilted pillow. Eddie was hovering over you, his lips soft and pink about an inch above yours. He dipped lower, brushing against the underside of your jaw, below your ear, and over your cheekbone before he finally pushed your lips apart with his. This kiss felt different from the last, not as flustered or bruising. His tongue moved languidly against yours; it felt like he was trying to memorise the shapes and textures, taking his time and eliciting little gasps when he nibbled and sucked. You lost yourself in the feeling of him, time slowing and the sounds of Brian Ferry’s vocals becoming nothing more than a humming buzz of white noise.

You were normally great at multitasking, but Eddie had left you in a haze. You’d done this a few times before, notable players including the asshole basketball star in your sophomore year and the college kid who’d returned home for the holidays when you were a junior. You’d even slept with Steve a few times over the summer out of sheer boredom, but none of them had made you tingle with electric energy the way Eddie did. You were so focused on the rhythm of the kiss that you hadn’t even realised he’d unzipped your jeans until his fingers pushed your panties aside and dipped between your folds.

“God you’re so wet already,” you squirmed when you felt the pressure of his finger against your clit, a little whine getting stuck in your throat. “Is this okay?”

You nodded wildly, hair falling in front of your eyes.

“Need you to use your words, sweetheart.”

“It’s good Eddie. I need more,” you jerked your hips upward and he obliged by rhythmically rubbing your clit. He could only do so much with his hand down your pants, his movements awkwardly affected by the denim. “Faster.”

“I can’t, your jeans are in the way.”

You huffed, pushing him back so he was sitting on his heels. You pulled off your jeans, frustratingly throwing them to the ground. You ripped off your sweater while you were at it, leaving you only in your panties and your bra. “Better?”

“Your underwear is still in the way,” he sounded genuine but you could see the smug glint in his eye.

“Take off clothes, you’ve got your dirty sneakers on my bed,” you folded your arms across your chest and watched as he appeased you. “Have you got a condom?”

“In my wallet, yeah. But I left it in my van.”

You got up and went to your wardrobe, opening a drawer and tearing a condom from the roll hidden beneath your underwear. You turned around to face Eddie and saw him watching you from the bed. He had made himself comfortable, stretched out on top of your floral quilt, his hands clasped behind his head. Your eyes trailed over his body, taking in the tattoos that painted his chest and arms, the line of dark hair on his pale stomach that disappeared beneath his boxers, to the hard bulge prominent beneath the checked fabric. 

You handed him the foil packet. “Hope it’s not too big.”

“Ouch, that hit me right in my ego.”

“Like that’s hard,” he moved across the bed as you slipped below the covers. You watched as he pulled his boxers down, his cock hitting his stomach. He was bigger than you’d expected, and his dick was oddly pretty. His hair was neatly trimmed and coarse curls sat at the base, you imagined they’d provide a delicious friction against your clit. The head of his cock was perfectly rounded too, flushed a deep red and leaking at the tip.

“You’re drooling,” he’d rolled the condom on and had dipped below the covers, his thigh pressed against yours.

You realised your lips were parted and you quickly shut them, frowning. “Am not.” You pulled off your underwear and straddled his lap. His cock pressed against your cunt and you ground down. “Shut up.”

“Just saying I’m not opposed to you blowing me.”

“Not happening,” your hand wrapped around the base of his cock and held it steady against your cunt, lifting your hips up so the tip breached your entrance.

“There’s always next time.”

“In your dreams,” you sank down on his length, his cock stretching your walls exquisitely. When you sat flush against his thighs, you could fill the head nudging at the spongy spot deep inside your core.

“This is better than my dreams, believe me,” he gripped your waist, helping you slide up and down on his length. You rolled your hips, changing the angle and he let out a guttural groan. “Fuck, do that again.”

You arched your back, your hips doing most of the work. You reached down, your hand between both your bodies as you rubbed your clit. Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off the space between you where your bodies met, watching as his cock slipped and disappeared inside you, only to emerge glistening wet before repeating the motions. “God, I can feel you squeezing around me, fuck, princess, keep doing that.”

“Eddie.” He’d replaced his fingers against your clit with his own, his pace was sloppy and desperate but it was just what you needed. 

“I’ve been thinking about fucking you since we met. God, I’ve dreamt of your pussy but it’s so much better than I ever imagined. It’s magic, sweetheart. You have a magic pussy, I swear.”

His words sent you over the edge, your legs trembling as your hips stilled against him. Eddie bucked into you a few more times before he too came with a shuddered moan. “Fucking hell.”

“Fucking hell,” he agreed, brushed the hair that had again fallen in front of your eyes behind your ear. “You are a devil woman.”

“Me?” 

“Yep," he helped you off his lap, his hand naturally gripping your thigh when you settled onto the mattress next to him. You were pleased to find that his rings did leave little marks against your skin. "Tempting and taunting me with your perfect body. I was an innocent man before I met you.”

Your head fell against his shoulder, watching the rise and fall of his chest. “Innocent? Really?”

“You’re not playing along, you have to play along.”

“Oh sorry,” you cleared your throat. “Now that I’ve put you under my spell I can do whatever I want to you.”

“No, evil sorceress, please don’t use me to satiate your sexual desires. I won’t be a part of your satanic bidding, for I’m just a humble, God fearing farm boy.”

“How much backstory do you have for this character?”

“Too much. We’ll work on it. Get you a pair of devil horns and really flesh it out.”

Eddie stayed for a while, talking to you in hushed whispers long after both sides of the cassette had been played. He ended up crawling through your window just as the sky began to lighten.

“You look tired, honey. What time did you get in last night?” Your mom poured coffee into her mug, frowning at you.

“Not too late,” you pushed cereal around your bowl. “We got sidetracked by a girl who used to be on the cheer team and when I realised the time it was too late to call.”

“Next time, call anyway. It makes me feel better knowing you’re okay,” she patted your shoulder, adjusting the bow on your ponytail. “I hope you had a good time, you need to have fun while you’re still young.”

“I’m sure she had a blast,” Dustin smirked, his eyebrows wiggling. You shot him a questioning look but ignored him like you did most mornings. Once your mom had left the kitchen, Dustin leant across the table. “So I heard something funny last night.”

You kept your expression as neutral as possible but internally you were cringing. “Oh yeah? What did you hear?”

“Kind of sounded like someone falling out a window at 5am.”

“Wow, that’s so weird. Crazy what you hear early in the morning.”

“You had a boy over,” Dustin laughed in a sing-song voice.

You clapped your hand over his mouth and looked wildly around for any indication that your mother was in ear shot. “Shut up, virgin.” His brows furrowed and your expression faltered, you wanted him to be quiet but you hadn’t meant to be mean about it. “Sorry, low blow.”

“You know Suzie is waiting till marriage.”

“Doesn’t help that she’s in Utah.”

Dustin ignored you. “So, who’s the mystery man?”

“Just some guy. Probably won’t see him again.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

After the first time, sneaking around with Eddie became your new favourite hobby. It became a normal part of your day to steal kisses in mop closets, or find hastily written notes stuffed in your locker giving you compliments or asking you to meet him in the woods during your next free period.

What started out as a hot and heavy romance filled with make out sessions and Eddie almost breaking his neck sneaking out of your window slowly turned into movie nights and pancake dates at the diner off I-69. During one such night where Eddie had finally caved to watching Romancing The Stone, he’d introduced you to Uncle Wayne as his girlfriend.

“Girlfriend? When did that happen?” You’d asked in an attempt at a nonchalant tone. Underneath the blanket your heart was pounding.

“A few weeks ago. I figured when you started coming ‘round to watch movies and you weren’t trying to get in my pants there was something more to this than just sex.” He grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl on your lap. “Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah. I’m okay with that.”

Since you now had a boyfriend, you wanted to go out and do things on a Saturday night. You hadn’t planned for your night to be spent chaperoning your brother while he hosted Hellfire in the basement, but your mom didn’t trust a group of teenage boys to behave. She had a singles mixer in Indy and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow so she’d left you, the responsible older sister, in charge. At least that meant Eddie was around, even if he’d be spending his evening playing DnD with your younger brother instead of playing adventurer and tavern wench with you in your bedroom. 

“What kind of pizza do you guys want?” You didn’t bother descending the steps instead choosing to poke your head around the basement door and call down the stairs.

“Pepperoni.”

“Extra sausage!” You could guess who called that one out.

“Cheese.”

“Mushroom.”

“Supreme.”

You sighed, descending a few steps so you could see the boys sitting around the table. “I’m going to need a straight answer, it doesn’t work if you just shout different toppings at me.” You were wearing skimpy pyjama shorts and you could feel the boys’ eyes creeping up your bare legs. When you scanned the table Mike and Gareth quickly looked away, their necks flushed red at being caught gawking, but Eddie just smirked, his eyes still stuck on you and his tongue tracing his bottom lip.

“Get two pepperoni, one cheese, and one supreme,” Dustin looked around the table for approval, which he got in the form of nods. “No one wants mushroom pizza, Jeff.”

The problem with Dustin hosting Hellfire was that they’d drank all your soda. You had your head stuck in the fridge trying to find a can of something fizzy to drink when you felt a smack against your ass.

You jumped, hitting your head on the shelf in the fridge. “Jesus Christ.”

“Nope, just me,” you spun around to see Eddie grinning playfully at you. When you frowned, hand pressed against where you’d hit your head, he pouted. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you but your ass was right there.” He pulled you against him by your hips, smoothing your hair flat and pressing a sweet kiss to the top of your head. “There, all better.”

You smiled into his chest, the sharp pain had suddenly disappeared. “What do you want, idiot?”

“Just came to see what the plan is tonight since your mom is away.”

“I think Lucas and Mike are staying over. Might be a little risky.”

“No biggie, I’ll park in the next street and sneak in through your window. Risky is hot.”

“I forgot danger turns you on." You kissed his cheek. "Pretty sure Gareth was checking me out when I came downstairs.”

“Have you seen these shorts you’re wearing? Almost made me cream my pants, Jesus H. Christ.” His hands cupped your ass and squeezed the flesh. “So distracting, you’re throwing me off my game.”

“Since when do you have game?”

“Pshaw, I have game. Got you to sleep with me, didn’t I?”

“But you love me.”

“Mmm, I do.”

Your skin felt like it had been lit on fire. He loves you. You hadn’t said those words to each other yet. It had only been a couple of months since you’d started seeing each other. You thought you felt something like love for him, but you weren't sure. You’d been feeling something deep, something that pulled at your heartstrings, something that made you feel safe.

You pulled back to look at him, searching his eyes for any hint of regret. Maybe he’d misspoke, maybe he was just playing along.

“I do love you,” his hand slipped beneath your sweater and stroked the skin on your lower back, it was like he was grounding himself to the moment. “You don’t have to say it back if you’re not ready.”

“I am ready,” you nodded, your hand cupping his cheek. “I love you too, Eddie.”

He dipped his head down to reach your mouth, his lips slotting perfectly against yours. You let out a sigh, relaxing into his body as he sat you on the kitchen counter. Your legs wrapped around his thighs pulling him closer until you could feel a growing hardness pressing between your legs.

“Ew, ew, ew,” your younger brother’s voice shattered your reverie. Your stomach dropped and it felt as if you were plummeting back to earth. Your head shot back and you saw Dustin, alongside the rest of the Hellfire gang standing inside the kitchen. “What the fuck?!”

You went to pull your body away but Eddie’s hand on your back kept you in place. “Relax, Dustin,” he spoke steadily, but you noticed his pupils were still blown and he had a dreamy sort of calmness to his expression.

“Relax? You’re devouring my sister. We eat here! What’s going on?”

You hopped down from the counter but stayed close to Eddie’s side, his arm still tightly wrapped around your waist. “We’re dating. We have been for a while.”

“Oh my god,” realisation hit Dustin like a semi truck. “He’s the guy who’s been sneaking into your room at night? She’s the hot chick you’ve been seeing?”

You lightly hit Eddie’s shoulder, “you told them? What did you say?”

Eddie winced, “not a lot.”

“You said you had sex at Lover’s Lake last week!”

You swatted his chest, a little harder this time. “Eddie, oh my god, why would you tell them that.”

Gareth laughed, “ha! We totally thought you’d made that up, that’s awesome.”

Eddie waved his hand dramatically, “see I told you it was cool!” At Dustin’s look of horror he frowned. “I’m sorry, we didn’t think you’d find out this way.”

“We were going to tell you,” you nodded. It was a flat out lie you definitely weren’t planning on telling Dustin anytime soon but he didn’t need to know that.

“When? When I’m bailing you out for public indecency?”

He was not letting this go, you had to pull out the big guns. “Eddie’s coming over for dinner tomorrow. I’m going to introduce him to mom.”

“Oh,” Dustin’s expression changed. He knew you must be serious if you were introducing Eddie to mom, you’d never introduced a boyfriend to your mom before.

“I am?” You stomped on Eddie’s foot and he got the message, “yes, I mean I am. Super excited.”

“And he’s staying over tonight,” you added. Eddie would just have to deal without the sexy addition of risk. You’d much prefer to have him leave via the front door than falling out the window again.

“But they’re staying over tonight,” Dustin gestured to Mike and Lucas.

“And we do not need to hear your weird sex noises,” Lucas chimed in from the sidelines, Mike nodding.

Your eyes widened, “excuse me?”

“Our sex noises are not weird,” Eddie said taking an odd amount of offense to the comment.

“Not what I was going to say, babe. We’re not going to have sex with you lot down the hall.”

“We’re not?” Eddie asked.

At the same time Dustin snidely remarked, “never stopped you before.”

“Dustin, please be cool about this. I know he’s your friend, but we like each other a lot.”

“Yeah, man. Like a lot, a lot.”

Dustin looked between you two, noticing how you’d never pulled apart from each other. “Fine. This is going to take some getting used to but okay. But if you hurt him,” you raised your eyebrows at Dustin, waiting for him to explain how he would exact his revenge on Eddie for hurting his precious older sister, but Eddie was watching you. Your brain reset. He’d said if you hurt him. 

You blinked. “Wait, if I hurt him? What about if he hurts me?”

“You’ll be fine,” Dustin brushed off your concern. “Eddie, however, would never recover if you broke his heart.”

“It’s true princess. I would forever be a broken man.” He brought your hand up to his lips and placed a chaste kiss to the skin.

You sighed in defeat but still squeezed his hand. “Don’t worry, I plan on keeping your heart safe for a very long time.”

Thank you @edwrite-munson for this request! Oh my god guys this fic drained the life out of me please send me some love 💌

@geekyfifi @babyfrosty @e0509 @becca-alexa @toomuchtimeonmaihands @munsonology @celestialuna13 @neewtmas @silky-luxe @lokis-little-fawn

join my tag list (must be 18+ - no ageless blogs)

This blog was super helpful in regards to 1980s teen bedroom decor!

[goldfades]

✮ 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲!, zegras' have more fun au

♡ ─ summary | it's y/n's 19th birthday back in 2022!

♡ ─ warnings | unedited, nothing except some cursing, literally nothing i don't think??

♡ ─ taglist | tbd (check link in navigation!)

♡ ─ ev's notes | okay guys!!! i have a few announcements for y'all! 1 - i've decided that after this post, this won't be a reader insert because...

2 - i am planning to make this a series!!!!!! one of my oc's for this au, brie, will be having her own spinoff with luca fantilli (maybe, we will see...) and it will be confusing so that's why i decided to make the zegras!sister an oc!!!!!!! i will be posting some polls (bc here we are a democracy here 🫡) for the name & brie's love interest so keep a lookout for that!

3 - PLEASE SEND IN SOME ASKS FOR THIS AU! i am running out of ideas quickly, so please send in your thoughts!!!! anyways, that's it lol. sorry for the long A/N!

back to navigation back to AU masterlist

ynzegras ann arbor, michigan

Liked by trevorzegras, briesbagels, lhughes_06 and 8,694 more

ynzegras | glow day with my girls <3 (+ parker)

tagged: briesbagels, avazegras, frienduser1, frienduser2, pchandler68 september 1, 2022

View all 638 comments

briesbagels | birthday bitch!!!! yesss!!!!!!!!!

briesbagels | SHE FLEW ME OUT TO MICHIE IT WAS SO FUN

↳ ynzegras shoulda went to umich instead of uc berk 🙄

↳ lucafantilli ik, shes so much fun too bad she goes to berk 😑

↳ pchandler68 🤨📸

avazegras | OLD LADY !!!!!!!!!

↳ ynzegras shut up. ur literally 2 yrs younger. ur close behind

pchandler68 | ACTUAL photo creds this time!!!!!!

↳ briesbagels all you this time😌

↳ ynzegras thanks park for doing ur job

↳ pchandler68 so u just invited me to ur photographer??

↳ ynzegras yeah it was going to JUST BE A GIRLS NIGHT but ur welcome

↳ lhughes_06 ya she didn't invite me😑

↳ jackhughes or me 😐

↳ ynzegras where tf did u come from???

↳ jackhughes @/elhughes

↳ ynzegras bruh...

_alexturcotte | happy birthday sistaaaa 🩵

↳ ynzegras thanks turcs 🫶🏼

trevorzegras | HAPPY BIRTHDAY *ACTUAL* SISTER

↳ _alexturcotte 😐

↳ ynzegras ty king, almost as old as you 🥰🥰🥰

↳ trevorzegras is she ... being nice for once??????

↳ ynzegras ur making me seem like im a total bitch, im literally so nice

↳ griffinzegras 🤨

↳ pchandler68 🤨🤨

jackhughes | happy birthday, u get my venmo???? 😁😁

↳ ynzegras yes thank you king, finally paying me back for all those times i paid for your coffee

↳ jackhughes u mean literally 3 times??? bro??

↳ ynzegras yeah with ur fucking girly ass 8 dollar drink

↳ jackhughes ok miss "can i get a matcha frap no whip with oatmilk and vanilla cold foam"

↳ ynzegras awww ur memorized my drink 🤞🏼🤞🏼

↳ trevorzegras stop sending money to my sister jack, she has enough

↳ jackhughes no

lhughes_06 | happy birthday 🫶🏼 hope u had fun with ur "girls"

↳ ynzegras thank u AND YES I DID.

↳ lhughes_06 could've invited me, i could've put on a wig

↳ ynzegras no

↳ briesbagels no

_quinnhughes | HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE Z 💘😁

↳ ynzegras ily big hughes

↳ trevorzegras wow...

↳ ynzegras 🤑🤑

lucafantilli | happy birthday 💩

↳ ynzegras thanks king 😇

↳ lucafantilli now can u be our manager 🤓

↳ ynzegras NO. I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO.

adamfantilli | happy birthday little zegras 🥳🥳

↳ _quinnhughes thats kind of a me thing... ummm

↳ ynzegras thanks little fantilli 😗

↳ _quinnhughes im such a trend setter 😝😝

markestapa | HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANAGERRRR 😍😍

↳ ynzegras gtfo

↳ markestapa ily too 🤩

edwards.73 | happy 19 freshie 😌🥳🥳🥳

↳ ynzegras thank you ethan 😛

griffinzegras | happy birthday bio sister

↳ _alexturcotte bro.

↳ ynzegras ily, you shoulda come

↳ griffinzegras u and brie literally kicked me out at the door even though i flew out for u

↳ ynzegras WE HAD DINNER OKAY????

juliezegras | happy birthday beautiful daughter, had a great time in ann arbor and will be coming back 🩷🩷

↳ ynzegras ily momma 🥹

trevorzegras anaheim, california

Liked by ynzegras, _alexturcotte, jackhughes and 15,096 more

trevorzegras | 19th bday versus 9th birthday 🥹

happy 19 to my little sister, you never fail to make me proud, you're so special to me and i can't wait to see how you will suceed, me and the whole fam will be there front row to cheer you on forever. you're amazing, never forget that my fav striker 🩷🩷 p.s: you will get your gift when you send me back my north face tshirt u stole tagged: ynzegras ugust 31, 2022

View all 2,438 comments

ynzegras | i love you trev 🥹 also ur not getting back that shirt

↳ trevorzegras no gift for you then

↳ ynzegras k.

↳ trevorzegras jk your package will be there in 2-3 days

↳ ynzegras ily you know me so well

ynzegras | ily but you misspelled succeed

↳ trevorzegras wait really??

↳ ynzegras yeah edit it, love u but its embarrassing

↳ trevorzegras how do u do that??

↳ ynzegras 😐😐

fanuser1 | awww, i forgot trevor had siblings but they're so cute

↳ fanuser2 ikr, they look sm alike tho i see it

↳ ynzegras i do not look like a fish 😑

↳ fanuser2 LMAO PLEASE DAMN

griffinzegras | AWWW fetus y/n, back when she wasn't a bitch

↳ ynzegras shut up griffin im serious.

↳ griffinzegras u didn't disagree tho 😶

avazegras | i'm crying. we were so small 😪

↳ ynzegras dw we are still petite af

↳ avazegras LMAO PLEASE BE SERIOUS Y/N

juliezegras | my babies 🥰🥹

↳ trevorzegras momma 💘

briesbagels | baby y/n 🥹 so cute

↳ ynzegras I KNOW

pchandler68 | throwback to when y/n was actually cute, WHAT HAPPENEDDD

↳ ynzegras ik you're not talking mr. 5head, at least i was a cute kid

↳ pchandler68 WDYM I WAS ADORABLE???

↳ ynzegras yeah whatever helps you sleep at night babe

jackhughes | AWWWWWWWWWWW

fanuser3 | isn't she dating one of the hughes brothers??

↳ fanuser4 NO WHAT SHE ISNT, TREVOR WOULD KILL THEMMM

↳ fanuser3 no i swear i saw a pic of them kissing on pinterest

↳ fanuser5 i thought that was luke

↳ fanuser4 DAYUMMM SHES GETTING THE WHOLE CREW WOW

↳ fanuser6 guys please be fr, shes not gonna be dating jack hughes. this isn't a fanfic 😑😑

[marvelstars]

VADER´S DREAM

Kirk Reinert's painting titled: Vader's Dream- A Visitation from Padme

"I will safe keep your good heart, Dear One, until you are ready for its return."

Kirk Reinert was personally chosen by George Lucas to participate in the 'Star Wars Art: Visions' project. The basic idea that George had was to create an interpretative art project that would bring together a variety of artists from different disciplines, all of whom would do their own vision of Star Wars. The artists would be free to create whatever they wanted as long as it was in the spirit of the movies.

Star Wars Art: Visions was published by Abrams & released Nov. 2010. There is also talk of a possible exhibition tour of this collection. Lucasfilm is donating their book royalties to Paul Newman's 'Hole in the Wall Gang' Camp Charity.

Kirk's comments: I wanted the general nature of this dream scene to feel very organic and human, as opposed to Vader's real-life loss of humanity, both physically and spiritually. Vader is dreaming of himself as Anakin, a fallen knight, in the arms of Padme, who has visited this dream with a purpose and a message. There is an island of peace here, but also the feeling of unease and impending doom on the horizon. The dark side, sensing the presence and threat of the light, sends its minions to pull Anakin/Vader back into chaos and madness.

I've placed a few subconscious layers in the painting for Anakin/Vader: the mechanical and bio-mechanical umbilical cords attached from under the water; Anakin is wearing what is partially Darth Vader armor & partially Jedi Knight robes; his hands are crossed representing a prisoner, Padme is wearing the headpiece that she wore in the beginning of their relationship but she also has the plants and flowers in her hair from her funeral. Anakin never saw her funeral so he has no reference to dream these specific flowers, therefore, Padme's presence in this dream is real and not conjured from Anakin/Vader's subconscious.

...and from the art nerd in me: Padme's pose was inspired from both a 12th century woodcut of 'A Troubadour's Representation of Love' and George Frederick Watts' painting, 'Hope'. Both also share an appropriate sentiment in my painting.

[starless-nightz]

My PJO/HOO OCs

Yes, two of them are based off of two Six of Crows characters, sue me. Some of the backtories might be changed over time.

Carmilla Nightshade, DAUGHTER OF ARTEMIS AND ZOE NIGHTSHADE

Age: 16

Height: 6'1

Birthday: 15/4

Parents: Artemis and Zoe Nightshade (both bio parents, she was born by magic)

Appearance: long dark brown curly hair with a white streak, brown skin and silver eyes.

Sexuality: Lesbian

Likes: woods, wolves/animals, playing the guitar, open space, the hunters, food, McDonalds, Nico, reading, music.

Dislikes: men/boys, Percy Jackson, being indoors too long, most gods, Lucas, camp, quests.

Backstory: She was born from magic as the bio daughter of Artemis and Zoe Nightshade and was raised as their daughter, she adores her brother but thought he abandond her and the hunt when he disappeared one day. She blamed Artemis for Zoes death and she and Nico tried to bring back Bianca, her first love. She eventually learns to accept her death and moves on with Piper.

Love intrests: Bianca Di Angelo (deceased), Piper McLean (girlfriend)

Lucas Aylin, SON OF ARTEMIS

Age: 21

Height: 6'4

Birthday: 27/5

Parent: Artemis (adoptive mother, she gave him her "blood" when he almost died so hes a demigod), bio parents unknown.

Appearance: medium-length curly blonde hair and blue eyes, muscular.

Sexuality: Bisexual

Likes: reading, music, playing a guitar, walking, animals, birds, rivers, Nina.

Dislikes: almost all gods, camp, quests, most guys he met, some hunters.

Backstory: He was abandond in a forest as an infant, he was found by the hunt and they grew fond of him. Artemis and Zoe raised him as if he was their own son and the hunters treated him like a younger brother. He almost died when he was 5 years old and Artemis was able to save him with Hecates help by giving him her "blood", making her biological son. He disappeared one night when he was 14 years old, Carmilla hates him, thinking that he abandond them.

Love intrest: Nina Zenick (fiancee)

Nina Brígh, DAUGHTER OF HECATE

Age: 20

Height: 5'10

Birthday: 3/9

Parent: Hecate, bio parent unknown.

appearance: long, curly brown hair and green eyes.

Sexuality: Bisexual

Likes: reading, dancing, flirting, going out, shopping, nature, magic.

Dislikes: salty/spicy food, quests, mud, fighting, flirting with men (not including her boyfriend).

Backstory: Nina was abandond when she was a baby and was raised in an orphanage until she ran away when she was 12, thats when she met her now fiancee Lucas and the two found a small cabin in the woods and have lived there for a few years before meeting Wyatt.

Love intrest: Lucas Aylin (fiancee)

Wyatt Henson, SON OF HEPHAESTUS

Age: 16

Height: 5'7

Birthday: 6/2

Parent: godly parent Hephaestus, adoptive father Reginald Henson, mother Mary Henson (deceased)

Appearance: short curly brown hair, brown eyes.

Sexuality: AroAce

Likes: reading, crafting, playing his flute, hiking.

Dislikes: sports, politics, the gods, his adoptive father.

Backstory: Wyatt is the adoptive son of Reginald Henson, a multi billionaire who owns many companys and brands, he was abused by his stepdad after his mothers passing when he was 10 years old, he ran away from home and met Lucas and Nina, who he sees as parental figures, he plans to one day give half the companys and brands hes going to inherit from his stepdad to Lucas and they would be co-owners.

Love intrest: No one

[rokhal]

ANGR/RE7 AU fanfic: Timeout

Inspired by @wazzappp's Ghost Rider/Resident Evil 7 AU because it haunts me.

Gabe and Robbie meet for the first time after Robbie gets his hand stapled back on.

Nobody ever came back from Lucas’s side of the basement fence. He was mean and Gabe usually stayed away from him; he didn’t care about any of the guests they caught, didn’t respect his own bio-dad and bio-mom, and somehow he didn’t even care about Eveline. Gabe didn’t know how Lucas managed that one. Eveline made it impossible not to love her. Gabe loved her more than Robbie, and he knew that if Robbie stayed here and got to know her, he’d love Eveline more than Gabe. 

Eveline always wanted to be sure, though. That was why she’d made Gabe cut off his hand. 

He just wished Robbie would leave and never come back. If Eveline had Robbie, she wouldn’t need Gabe except as someone to bully, or a spare body to borrow. And Robbie would never look at Gabe again, not with Eveline filling his head, tugging. He wanted to remember Robbie when they’d both been real people, not see what Eveline would turn him into.

Gabe sat on Lucas’ side of the basement fence, clutching his head and rocking. That was a self-soothing behavior, he remembered one of the doctors explaining to Robbie, and who else was going to soothe him? Not Eveline. Robbie’s arrival had made everything worse; Ma Baker was upset because Robbie was ungrateful to her and Eveline, Daddy Baker was angry and wanted to teach him a lesson, and Eveline wanted Robbie nice and broken before she took him. Nobody had time to check that Gabe was alright, and once Robbie was well and adopted into the family, no one ever would. 

He’d cut off Robbie’s hand. He’d cut him with a knife. Robbie wouldn’t stay after all that, would he? He’d run away. Gabe hadn’t been acting like himself, he’d been acting like a bully. Robbie hated bullies. No one had escaped Daddy Baker before, but that wouldn’t stop Robbie. 

He kept hearing what Robbie used to call fireworks, loud and close. Daddy Baker had never shot at any of their guests. Lucas did once, but Daddy took his gun away after that. 

Pop-pop echoing close through the hallway. Gabe caught an echo of Eveline’s frustration—one of her friends was hurt, she’d have to rebuild it. She had so many of them now. The mold was more active than Gabe had ever seen it, snaking down from the ceiling over the walls, pooling and mounding on the floors. Robbie was hurting it more than any other guest had. 

Gabe reached out to a tendril of mold and stroked it: damp, soft. Eveline wouldn’t want to be the middle child between Robbie and Gabe. Soon Gabe would have only the mold for company.

The gunshots had been getting nearer. Now they were silent, and Gabe heard lurching footsteps. He wondered if he was in trouble. Daddy wasn’t one of those sissy parents who didn’t believe in corporal punishment and the idea of a social worker checking in on the Bakers was laughable. Daddy had hit Gabe, told him it was for his own good. He never hit Eveline though, even though he loved Eveline more. 

Gabe could open the other door and creep away into the swamp, but not if he wanted to know who was doing the shooting. Not if he wanted to warn them. He waited, crouching in the shadow where the hall light had burnt out, ready to run if Eveline let him. 

A blood-soaked man stepped around the corner. It was Robbie. 

Gabe lurched toward him, coming up against the wire fence. His body seemed not his; it had been so long since anything but fear for himself or love for Eveline had made him move, that his love for Robbie seemed like an intruder. 

Robbie’s gun flashed toward him, just for an instant. Then he pointed it at the ground and stumbled toward Gabe just as urgently as Gabe had tried to run to him, free hand outstretched to wrap over top of Gabe’s fingers through the wire. 

“Robbie!”

“Gabe!” His voice was hoarse. He leaned his head against the fence like he could fit through the gaps if he thought small thoughts. “It’s you, right? Help me out, how do I know when it’s you?”

Gabe felt himself start to cry. “You can’t. She’s in my head, she can make me want things. Robbie, I’m sorry—” He choked up and couldn’t talk anymore. Robbie tucked his gun into his waistband, his other fingers still firm and clammy over Gabe’s. Other fingers. Gabe followed the hand up Robbie’s wrist, past a big smartwatch he’d never seen Robbie wear, to the ring of carpentry staples biting into Robbie’s skin where Gabe had cut his hand off. Same way Lucas always fixed himself up when Daddy had enough of his lip.

Normal people’s arms didn’t work that way. 

Gabe couldn’t keep himself from crying. Robbie was saying, “Buddy, it’s okay, I’m not mad, I just need to know what’s happening to you so I can get you medicine and we can go home. I’m gonna bring you home. Okay?” Gabe couldn’t force out any words through his sobs, so he couldn’t tell Robbie that neither of them could go home, they were both rotten inside like the Baker’s house. They belonged to the swamp.

But Robbie could still want to go home. He could still say it. 

“Run,” Gabe managed. “Robbie. Robbie, run away!”

“I’m not leaving you, bud,” Robbie said, and then his hand pulled away and he jerked his head up and grabbed at his waist and he bared his teeth. His face was dark with fury just like Daddy on a real tear. “Don’t you fucking touch him!” Robbie snarled, and from behind Gabe a strong arm snatched him up by the waist and heaved him off his feet. Gabe smelled the disinfectant Lucas used.

“Shoot me!” Lucas taunted, voice coming from just below Gabe’s chin. “The kid’ll be fine. Go on. Do it.” Lucas carried Gabe away through the door behind them, even as Gabe thrashed and kicked. Through his tears, he saw Robbie gripping a gun with both hands, trembling as he aimed it just past Gabe’s head. Robbie never used to have a gun. He’d always told Gabe never to touch them, never to play with them, to keep away from anyone who had one. 

Robbie lowered the gun, his whole body shaking. “I’m coming for you, Gabe,” he promised, his voice raw and terrible. “I won’t let any of these people stop me. You’re my brother, and you always will be. I’m taking you out of here!”

I can’t, Gabe thought. I can’t leave, I belong to Eveline. But he saw the fury in Robbie’s eyes, and bit the words back. 

Lucas walked them back through the door and leaned around Gabe’s back toward the opening. “Pussy.” He slammed it shut.

[yuri-is-online]

Damn I'm really like the storyline of this game.But FUCK Leo,if I ever get a chance to smacked the shit out of him, please Chancellor one chance.He fucked with the Mc head, how Alan and Thoma didn't kick him out that car if beyond me, there better than me honestly.Sho isn't much better because he's going along just because he's isn't mean.

Just because there isn't cruelty that doesn't mean kindness.But he's the lesser evil.Makes me sad for Alan.

Let's talk about Lucas I wonder if the soul system is like JJK,like if your twins you share the same soul and that's why the demon took his brother.

Also which character did you pick for your first

-🤡

I picked Thoma first, but I didn't take screenshots of the opening. Probably gonna use my emulator to take a crack at screencapping all of the boys intros because I am insane and want to pick it apart for lore research.

Twins sharing the same soul/being seen as the same person is very common in Japanese folklore if I understand correctly? But that might just be me overthinking the plot of Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly. So yes that's my assumption too, the demon likely took Luca's brother in his place since they technically share a soul.

Now. Let's talk about Leo. The main reason Alan and Thoma didn't immediately kick him out of the car was to not make a scene. Thoma specifically seems to respect the opportunistic sort, and thinks that Leo shows promise if he shapes up. He's skilled with tech, good at reading people, quick on his feet, all of those things are arguably good traits that Vagastrom, and Alan, could really use! Besides it's not like he has enough on either of them to get in their way yet, best to play it cool and walk away with the upper hand. Another thing we learn from this conversation that might be easy to miss is that unlike Twisted Wonderland where each dorm has rules about who should be the leader, Darwick's Administration picks the Captain and Vice Captain of the dorm, and grades seem to be more important to them than say. Whether or not the person has a good character, as we have seen from both Thoma and Leo, is significantly less important.

But if there is one thing I sort of have to point out that I think Alan gets and tries to call him out on, Leo is incredibly short sighted. He sees MC's power as worthless not because it doesn't work but because he already used it and got what he wants from it. He doesn't see anyone other than himself, and maybe Sho, as a person so he doesn't feel any guilt about using MC to get what he wants and then trying to get her kicked out of the school. He's also the only bitch in this house that completely ignores that MC can't leave, he doesn't mention her curse once when talking about her and honestly I don't think he was paying attention enough to remember that she can't leave because of that. Allan makes a point at the end of the Vagastrom book that I really hope is followed up on:

I sort of read this as applying to his friendship with Sho and his own reputation. Sure, it's all fun and games now while he snatches up the Vice Captain role and still has Sho doing his bidding, but well. Sho does occasionally do what he wants, he didn't go along with Leo's plan, not completely. He didn't outright lie about MC's power, and he hates how Leo keeps asking about why the ghouls made their wish on a demon. He thinks it's wrong, he hates it. Leo's treatment of MC did bother him, and I know he doesn't want MC to die. I don't know how far you or anyone else has made it, but something happens in Book 3 that makes it seem like MC has gone missing, and according to Hyde all of the Frostheim, "and one or two" of the Vagastrom ghouls have to be talked out of going to look for her.

As of right now Leo's only real ally is Sho. If Sho gets fed up with him and stops covering his ass, then Leo has no one, and I don't think that's occurred to him since according to Sho's bio they've been friends since long before Darkwick. Anyway I hope they get divorced and Sho gets to keep his food truck. Like I said, we can run Leo over with it for the insurance money.

Have some Side Notes:

The ring of Solomon, or the ring of wisdom, granted Solomon the power to make demons do his bidding in the original myth. Since ghouls powers come from demons, in some way, shape, or form, my theory is that the ring is likely enhancing the demonic part of them.

The "like doves" supposedly appear when someone is thinking of you positively/likes you. The first people to make these doves appear around MC are Luka and Kaito. The second is Sho, which is honestly why I am a bit softer on him then I should be. The third time it shows up is at the end of Jabberwock's book with all three dorm members present, meaning literally the only bitch in this house who does not respect MC is fucking Leo that dick-

while it isn't specified, Professor Dante appears to be the advisor for both Frostheim and Vagastrom, something I think is more or less confirmed by Hyde being in charge of both Jabberwock and Sinostra. Anyway the point I want to make is that we are missing a dorm if we follow the rule of each advisor being in charge of two, and no I don't mean the two missing characters from Obscuary I mean a whole dorm that seems to have specialized in exorcisms (perhaps of curses 👀):

My personal theory is that their dorm used to be in the Cathedral we are staying in and that it was destroyed during "the Clash" that's been alluded to in the first part of the story, we don't know much about it other than 1) it was between ghouls, perhaps exclusively 2) there is a spy of some sort Thoma and Alan are looking for that might have had something to do with it and 3) a Frostheim student behaved very badly during the Clash to the point Thoma seems to think they should take some responsibility for it. But that's just my speculation, don't know how much of it's real.

[luckybyler]

From an actually good question posted on Reddit, here’s how I think the Stranger Things grandparents are:

Joyce: I think she had low-ish-income parents who were good people with good values, loved her and fulfilled her basic needs (fed, roof over her head, clothes, school), but for some reason couldn’t take care of her or guide her much. Maybe they had problems with drugs or alcohol, or maybe they were old and frail (or her grandparents because her bio parents weren’t in the picture), or had some illness. That made her driven, self-reliant, but also drove her to make some bad decisions. However, because she remembered what actual love looked like, she was able to correct course and protect her kids. Probably dead by the time Jonathan was born.

Hopper: I’d say he grew up in a non-abusive, but strict, home, with a father who valued honor and war and stuff. I imagine his mom was a little homemaker lady who baked cookies and loved him a lot, but who also instilled the fear of God in him and in dad. Basically a “men rule the world and women rule the home” type of family (which is actually a super hyper traditional mindset).

Lonnie: Could have been literally any kind of parents, because his fucked-up-ness seems entirely like a Lonnie problem. He could’ve had the worst or the best parents in the world and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Maybe he killed them for the insurance and made it look like an accident.

Karen: She was super popular in school, so her parents must have been at least middle class, the picture of a perfect 50s marriage and active in the church. Not rich tho, so they encouraged her to latch on to her older boyfriend from a good family for dear life to remain financially stable.

Ted: Likewise, except I imagine his parents were slightly more affluent than Karen’s. I imagine they were the pronto-Ted and Karen and Ted was a proto-Mike as a kid, until life and depression beat every ounce of joy and personality out of him.

Sue Sinclair: She most likely had loving, strategic parents most likely went ABOVE AND BEYOND to give her EVERY. TOOL. at their disposal so she could have the middle class life she ended up enjoying, keeping in mind that she grew up as a black girl during Jim Crow. In Lucas on the Line Lucas says his dad met his mom when she was in typing school or working as a typist. Her parents probably made sacrifices so she (and her siblings, if any) could have a higher education. They couldn’t afford to make a single wrong choice or even to let her become a homemaker and depend on a man.

Charles Sinclair: We know what his white foster parents were like: assholes. He fled out of there the second he was allowed to (or had to) and probably went immediately to the military recruiter. That crucial decision made the difference between a life of poverty and the comfortable life he ended up having.

Claudia Henderson: Most likely loving, reasonably progressive parents who encouraged her to get some sort of higher education or to work. I think she has only known healthy relationships.

Mr. Henderson: no idea, but judging by Dustin and Claudia’s personalities, he was probably a loving, caring husband and father who died (and most likely left them a pension or life insurance). Maybe that means his own parents were ok people.

Susan Hargrove: Probably very traditional parents who taught her that women should be seen and not heard, or at least that being a housewife was her only alternative for a decent life. Maybe she rebelled against her parents by choosing “love” instead of convenience, and so ended up dating and/or marrying a long line of losers and abusers. Her parents gave her zero tools at all for her own life so she depended on whatever dude entered her and Max’s lives.

Mr. Mayfield: described in Runaway Max as a smart but unmotivated and undisciplined man who commits petty crime, he probably comes from a long line of petty criminals who don’t feel any drive to better themselves, not even for those they supposedly love.

Neil Hargrove: Most likely raised in an abusive home and grew up to perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

[campoverlook-if]

Progress Update #4// 4/3/24

Hey everyone, just wanted to update you all on the story.

I've started a new process for the past few days where I write for two hours and then take fifteen-thirty minute breaks in between. I'm still blanking on what to write for a section sometimes, but I'm really trying not to have grayed out choices again. That was NOT fun.

Still, the writing process shouldn't be forced, but sometimes you just really need to kick your own ass and grab that text file by the ears. Plus, this is the most productive I've felt since getting my wisdom teeth removed.

In celebration of this new bout of inspiration, here's a sneak peek of an upcoming scene you may encounter in the update.

Alright, that's it. This girl can't just bully you away because she doesn't like you. You hadn't even done anything when she first started acting nasty towards you. Yes, you may have walked away in the middle of a conversation, but she had been so…aggressive. You weren't just going to stand there and take it, and you definitely weren't going to start now. So, you take a step closer to Claire, giving her a leveled glare of your own. "Last time I checked, this table doesn't belong to you." Tension quickly fills the air around the two of you. Claire doesn't respond to your retort, but she doesn't need to. Her body language gives you all the information you need to know.

Ooooh boi, what the hell did you do to make Claire this mad at you. And on the first day? Tragic.

Along with that we'll be getting into a few things before finally ending episode 1:

Reworked the gender system of the counselors. Now you can choose from the beginning how you want them to be.

Added the choice to be non-binary (a new batch of campers, hooyay!). Also need to add onto scenes with Asher, Claire, and Lucas.

Meeting the final two counselors (Ruby and Silas).

An added scene with E for returning MCs during your walk to the mess hall.

Going through orientation, including a fun scavenger hunt (Uncle Robert said it would be fun, don't believe him).

A small scene with your new roommates in your cabins.

I'm so excited just thinking about it, and I'm the one writing the dang story.

If you hadn't seen it yet, I answered an ask a little bit ago about doing visuals for the blog. I'm not the best at visual media (that's more my mother's thing) but I can use a character maker like a mf if I have too.

It was kinda nice, a little limiting, but it was surprisingly helpful for me to have it. I've thought about how these characters look for so long it's strange to suddenly see them brought to life in any type of way except text. The character bios have been updated with these pictures now.

(UPDATE: LITERALLY MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT DECISION: SLEEP DEPRIVED AF BEHAVIOR)

So, I wrote this update yeaterday and was planning for it to just post through queue like I normally do, but the situation has changed. The demo will be updated again, however the stopping point is literally the same. The only major changes are the gender system, adding being non-binary, and having everything on one file (pray for me). The stopping point is still the same.

All in all the word count is now at this point: 57k (W/O Code), 14K (average). Not a huge jump average wise, but I'm happy anyway.

Link to demo here.

(END OF EMERGENCY UPDATE)

That's all I wanted to talk about for now, if you run into any bugs just let me know and I'll fix it lickity split.

See you all on the next update!

P.S. - I love it when new people follow and only like the posts of certain counselors. I know who you're into now ;).

[can-of-pringles]

My character names and short bios for my Ghost AU lore

(warnings for RHRN spoilers, though I'll probably be updating it when we get more info) (I'm including picrews of some of the OCs, though not the ones already established since it's very easy to find pictures of them elsewhere)

Neil Teodoro Emeritus/Nihil Emeritus/Papa Nihil March 19, 1941-March 3, 2020 Born in Italy, moved to the US with his mother when he was too young to remember. Estranged from his father who was a previous Papa. Brought back to the Ministry when he was an adult by Sister Imperator. Leader of Ghost from mid-1960s to late 1970s. Has four kids (possibly five if we're including RHRN spoilers)

Elizabeth "Betty" Liliana Emeritus/Sister Elizabeth January 5, 1921-TBA Born in Italy, had a relationship with a Papa during the time. Ended up having a son with him. She and her son Neil ended up moving to the US when her ex didn't want to be in their lives anymore. Picrew:

Lucas Theodore Clarkson/Primo Emeritus/Papa Primo October 8, 1957-March 2018 Born in the US, co-parented by Nihil and Lucy Clarkson for a while until he was brought to the Ministry by his father. Nihil changed his name to Primo Emeritus. Leader of Ghost from 2008-2012.

Lucille "Lucy" Clarkson June 12, 1941-TBA Born in the US, dated Neil in high school. Had Lucas when she and Neil were sixteen. Mostly raised him on her own with help from her family, Neil, and his mother. Originally planned on marrying Neil once she finished college but it didn't work out. Allowed Nihil to bring Lucas to the Ministry when he was a bit older. Wasn't involved with the Ministry. Received updates on Primo and saw him occasionally. Picrew (pictured around highschool ish here):

Lauro (LOW-ro) 'Secondo' Emeritus/Papa Secondo October 24, 1970-March 2018 Born in LA to Papa Nihil and a Sister of Sin named Dafne. Grew up in the Italy Ministry. Leader of Ghost from 2012-2015.

Dafne (Italian spelling of Daphne) Santoro/Sister Dafne August 23, 1943-TBA Born in Italy, grew up in the Ministry. Used to be in a long-term relationship with Papa Nihil but broke it off when he cheated. Mother to Secondo. Picrew:

Lorenzo 'Terzo' Emeritus/Papa Terzo January 28, 1971-March 2018 Born in LA to Rosalie Arnaud (she gave him up to the Ministry). Grew up in the Ministry. Was in a serious relationship with Omega Ghoul from 1997 all the way until Terzo's death. Leader of Ghost from 2015-2017.

Rosalie Arnaud May 11, 1948-??? Born in France. Traveled to LA. Met and had a fling with Papa Nihil which resulted in Terzo. Was not in Terzo's life. Picrew:

Irene Acerbi/Sister Irene/Sister Imperator April 3, 1944-September 12, 2023 Born in Italy, past mostly unknown. Brought Papa Nihil back to the Ministry. Has had an on-and-off relationship with Papa Nihil throughout the years. Secret mother to Copia. Involved with Ghost for years. Had Primo, Secondo, and Terzo killed.

Copia Abate/Cardinal Copia/Papa Copia/Frater Imperator July 7, 1979- Grew up in Italy at the Ministry as a supposed orphan. Saw Primo, Secondo, and Terzo as his brother figures. Saw Sister Imperator as a mother figure. Didn't know Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil were his parents until semi-recently. In a relationship (eventually) with Silas Petersson. Leader of Ghost from March 2018-2023. Promoted to Sister's position once she passed, under the title of Frater Imperator. Only has a last name for legal reasons given to him by the Clergy and it's just Abate (From Italian abate meaning "abbot, priest")

Silas Adrian Petersson May 14, 1986- Born in Austin, Texas. Spent his childhood between Texas and Sweden with his mother in Texas and his father in Sweden. Moved to Linköping, Sweden some time in his late teens. In a relationship (eventually) with Copia. Works as a janitor at the Ministry. Started working there in 2013.

Caroline "Carol" Andrews & Nicholas Petersson Carol: 1962- Nicholas: 1961- Carol: Born outside Dallas, Texas. Nicholas: Born in Sweden, near Linköping. They met when Nicholas participated in the foreign exchange student program at Carol's high school. Dated and eventually married. Had Silas. Eventually divorced on good terms (they weren't compatible and are just best friends now) when he was a kid. Co-parented Silas very well post-divorce. Stay very involved with each other's lives. Picrews:

Hanna Liv (LEEV) Ekström (EHK-struum) December 4, 1987- Born in Sweden. Childhood best friends with Silas. In a relationship (eventually) with Kersti. Works as a dog groomer.

Kersti (SHEHSH-tee) Beck/Sister Kersti March 11, 1986- Born in Sápmi to her parents, her father is Sámi, and her mother is Swedish. Her parents decided to move closer to her mother's Swedish family and assimilate more due to pressures. In a relationship (eventually) with Hanna. Became a Sister of Sin at the Ministry. Her stay there was always going to be temporary until she moved back to her childhood home in Sápmi.

Pigeon Ghoul ??? Summoned as a "spare ghoul" during Cardinal Copia's era. Air and Multi Ghoul lineage. Wears an old mask and uniform.

[kissy-leechie-blog]

Lucas/Shredder Bean's bio - (KBF Fanoc)

Basic Information:

Name: Shredder Bean 

Real (Full) name: Lucas (Luke) Flat White 

Sex, gender, pronounce(s): Male (He/Him)

Age: Adult (younger than Killer Bean)

Sexual preference: Unspecified 

Occupation: Shadow bean/assassin

Weapon(s) of choice: Silver Sickles

Eye color: Grey (or Gray)

Statues:

Speed - ★★★★★

Strength - ★★★☆☆

Durability - ★★☆☆☆

Intelligence - ★★★★☆

Attire, size & height.

Shredder wears a green fur-hooded vest complete with light artificially designed long boots. He occasionally wears a cream-colored sweater in his attire. During a mission, he puts on a mask including a cloth that was also artificially designed.

- He's the same size and height as most beans, though in my headcanon he is slightly shorter than Killer Bean. 

Character Description:

One of the remaining shadow beans is Lucas Flat White (a.k.a Shredder Bean). The fastest assassin fights with two silver sickles, displaying engraved symbols of two white orcas. He may appear intimidating and mysterious when encountered, but once his facial gear gets ripped off, the worry instantly dies down, the moment you take a glimpse of his face. His normal looks contrast from his sharp, slightly glooming attire to his light, soft, calming demeanor. He may be quick to slice beans in the back but would slow down to spare others if they begged for mercy. Unlike his "reckless inspiration" (Killer Bean), he challenges the spared beans to prove that they're worthy of living, on the condition that they would complete what he asks them to do, unbeknownst to the agency. He takes amusement in making others work if they plead for a second chance. As cruel as this sounds, this is a perfect advantage for Lucas, given he's sympathetic and prefers to maintain his morality by doing what's right and fair to both parties. Even though he's assigned to kill, he thought it wouldn't hurt to spare some beans (even if they would last for a few seconds after failing to win against Shredder) Afterall, the shadow beans are trained to protect civilians from threats or some form of evil among them. At least that's what's been taught by the agency. 

Getting to know him outside his mission may seem simple judging by his chill and non-uptight attitude. However, you'll slowly learn that he's quite talkative, bold, and sometimes cocky which makes him annoying to some, especially Killer Bean. 

(Minimum) Background/Origins/Backstory [CURRENTLY UNCOMPLETED.]:

Even though he was raised in a warm environment (a farm), his preferences had transitioned from warm to cold environments as Lucas learns he functions well in much cooler locations, which explains why he wears warm clothes and fights in the cold. His skill in harvesting and cutting through long bulking plants with dull sickles, would eventually become his primary skill in combat, which the agency encouraged then provided a new pair of sickles as his weapon of choice. 

************************************************************************

I apologize if some parts were poorly written or vague. It won't remain like this for long as I'm currently trying my best to share as much as stuff as possible with the limited free time I have. 😥

Hope this made you feel invested in learning more about Shredder! 💚🫘

Art, Shredder Bean/Lucas Flat White - Lydia-Morphmen

Killer Bean, Killer Bean Forever - Jeff Lew

[prettybearbutch]

Hi im a trans guy and i Really would like to know where u got ur strap and harness !!! the video of you jacking off is so hot and it's also like. super interesting to see someone cum like that if that makes sense??? like having such an intense mind-body link like that is really unique to watch and i Really want to see what it would feel like myself!!

Hey for sure!

Dr. Lucas Dildo ($29 USD) - it's on the smaller/slimmer side (which I intentionally wanted to use on myself) but it's honestly really realistic, especially for the price point. It's soft to the touch and slightly bendable, and works really well with:

Sliquid H2O ($8 USD) Water based lube, a little goes a long way. You'll feel weird jacking off a dry silicone dick- lube it up and it'll help you get into it.

Rodeoh Brief+ Harness ($40-$50 USD depending on style, they also have frequent sales) - I have a Rodeoh boxer brief harness too, but I prefer the briefs for control- it sits the dildo more firmly on your body and you can also adjust it a bit easier to really sit right over your bio dick/clit. I find that the underwear style harnesses like these help me mentally connect the dick as 'mine' better than the typical strap harnesses, bc I'm just feeling the briefs, not straps.

As far as that mind-body link- it always feels a little silly at first for me, but the lines start to blur really fast once I get started. When I spread the lube around my cock and start stroking, the strap takes on some of the heat from my hand. When I tug/stroke down in certain ways, it puts pressure on what's underneath the strap. It sometimes helps me to watch/listen to JOI porn... I'm also a huge sucker for porn of ppl fucking a fleshlight (especially a clear one). Jerking off a strap feels more 'real' when I'm watching/listening to masturbation stuff, vs watching ppl fuck, personally. Play around with positions, too- you don't have to be laying down. Stroke yourself off standing up, holding yourself up against a wall. Or maybe you're on your hands and knees, fucking into your hand. Have fun with it!