#lowkey motivating me to change my account aesthetic

[shiftingwithjaidyn]

"no, dw ! no one will ever know what my favorite color is in my dr !"

girl everything you own is the color pink i promise you no one will ever get your favorite color wrong.

[mossnotes]

17 questions for 17 people!

(tagged by @ox-blr)

hello! i’ve been mia from tumblr for a long time because, well, i’m losing interest and seeing studyblr content isn’t motivating me the way it used to? so, i’m gradually re-entering this space in a different, healthier way, so consider this a reintroduction! 

nickname:

my name is carrie and i don’t really have a nickname? i used to get called caz or cazza (ew) a lot, and i recently made the connection that caz - or kaz - means i’m twinning with our good lord, kaz brekker hehehe. also for a while somebody called me pigeon (because of carrier pigeons, i guess?), so honestly if you want to call me pigeon go for it. it’s fun, at least. 

height: 

5′3″ or 5′4″, i think :(

zodiac: 

aries sun, libra rising, capricorn moon ! 

hogwarts house: 

slytherin !! (fun fact, i used to be a hufflepuff but changed to a slytherin within the same year, so, character development? or maybe, and more likely, villain/corruption arc? idk)

last thing i googled: 

how to toggle between items on minecraft inventory bar (i finally got java after playing bedrock my whole life so it’s taking some adjusting :D)

song stuck in my head: 

can you feel my heart - bmth (a tiktok of someone screaming it in the car came up on my fyp today and now that is ALL I WANT TO DO)

number of followers:

543 ! on my old account i got to 4k i think in the end? for some reason now, i can’t seem to gain followers and the ones i have aren’t very interactive :( i think maybe because tumblr seems to be like, dying out (finally?), especially studyblr. or maybe it’s me that’s getting bored of it and not being active enough for people to interact. hm. 

hours of sleep:

nothing (except anxiety-induced insomnia on sunday nights) will get between me and my eight hours. 

lucky number: 

7. i’m not sure why. or maybe it’s just my favourite number. is there a difference?

dream job: 

i don’t have a dream job because i don’t dream of labour in this capitalist hellscape working in a little bookshop sounds about as peaceful as retail work can get. i just want to sit on a stool behind the counter wearing my silly little granddad jumpers reading the books i was supposed to shelve. or, if my writing takes off, i want to be a rich elusive spinster living in the huge old house at the edge of my town, where i only ever appear in a long silk nightgown to deliver my latest manuscript bound in velvet ribbon to a gloved figure in the black car at the end of my drive. 

aesthetic: 

i’m such a sucker for dark academia, and dark or earthy tones. my tweed blazer is my most prized possession, even if i never get to wear it lol except for dramatic recitals of hamlet’s to be or not to be soliloquy. i’d love to be one of those people who wears pastel purple jumpers and strawberry dresses but, no. 

wearing: 

for all i just boasted about my dark academic adoration, i’m currently wearing trackies and my stepdad’s old help for heroes jumper, which i think i spilled tea on. (that was the most english sentence i’ve ever written bloody hell)

favourite song(s): 

lover, please stay - nothing but thieves

itch - nothing but thieves

medicine - harry styles

electricity - arctic monkeys

despair in the departure lounge - arctic monkeys

lose it - oh wonder

(i really like am and nbt can you tell?!)

favourite instrument: 

bass and electric guitar are so cool, i have an electric but i can’t play to save my life. also piano? if you play piano i am immediately infatuated with you. 

favourite author(s): 

donna tartt and v.e. schwab (also, mary shelley goes without saying)

favourite animal noise: 

the little chirp my cat does when she wakes up and immediately wants to know where i am

random: 

i lowkey hate studyblr just because of how glossy and amazing it is when studying literally never looks like that, and idk if it’s just me/my dash but as a mentally ill person it’s so hard seeing this constant productivity because most days i just do my online school (mostly from bed because i don’t have the energy or am just too uncomfortable at my desk because my room is on a tilt bc i live in a really old house and the desk is right on the tilt oop) and then i’m too shattered to study or do any extra. it blows my mind that there are people who study for like 8 or 10 hours a day with such insanely good self discipline... ah. idk that was a rant, studyblr used to be incredible for me and so motivating but i’ve really fallen out of love with it, so this blog might change direction a bit and go more writer/random/literature meme idk??? ily thank u for reading and sticking around w me mwah

tagssssss (it’s up to you if you do this or not, it’s just a bit of fun!!) @jasminesnotes @hyperchemblr @a-study-in-letters @eduardstudying @studylustre @studydiaryofamedstudent @studious-serpent @asteristudy @sonderstudy @cinnasbooks @soulmvtes @hannistudies @captainofstudies​

i know that’s not 17 people but honestly, whoever sees this and wants to do this, feel free! u are the remaining tag slots :)

[hyucksong]

21 questions !!!

tagged by: @rendevousrenjun on my main account @soft-and-hard-main, but i’ll answer it here! agagagaga

nickname: saf or ark or A

zodiac: gemini !!!! hehehe if i was born like nine hours earlier i’d be a cancer

height: 5′5 #painfully average gang

hogwarts house: hufflepuff and i’m proud of it 

last thing i googled: “what does q: mean in tumblr”

favorite musicians: isaac gracie, bts, nct, exo, bazzi, doja cat, frank ocean, rosalia

song that's stuck in my head: baby by justin bieber (forever and always will be ingrained in the grooves of my brain yall) 

followers: 1645 !!!! i love yall sm!!! what should i do for the 2k mark,,,,(if we reach it)

following: 235 yeyeye

do you get asks: occasionally i do! a lot from cute anons and cute mutuals!! hehe...i have some sitting in there that are requests that i will save for a rainy day! 

amount of sleep: a solid four hours or ten....either or

what are you wearing: fuzzi winter socks with leggings, and a Dickey’s “eat me” shirt and a fluffy black jacket,,,,it’s cold OKAY

dream trip: i’d love to go to NY and Seoul; both my parents were stationed in Korea back in the day and said it was their favorite place they were stationed at so

dream job: an astrophysicist or a professor...i’ve always wanted to be a singer but I’m lowkey a realist so hahaha

instruments: i learned the violin...in 5th grade and gave up after that year

languages: 1.75 ; english and spanish (.7) and i’m trying to learn korean (.05) 

ten eleven favorite songs:

LOVE ME FOR LIFE by BROCKHAMPTON 

Pink + White by Frank Ocean

Won’t Bite by Doja Cat

CYANIDE by Daniel Caesar

Honey by Raveena

Don’t Need Your Love by NCT DREAM

BAD BACK by Jackson Wang

Homegirl by King Princess

Outro: Tear by BTS

Tokyo Drifting by Glass Animals

DUCK DUCK GOOSE by Dwilly

if you were an animal what would you be: my dog, mr.peppers

favorite food: anything with noodles

random facts: 

my dogs name is mr.peppers and i LOVE HIM SO MUCH I--

i’ve loved writing since i was a kid, i’m just lacking in the motivation department hehe

luhan is the single man that changed everything for me...once i saw him i never looked back yall

jhope is my BTS bias

by whole family loves korea....my mom and dad say it’s their fav. place they were stationed at and my brother always talks about going one day so it just kinda got passed down heh 

my aesthetics: 

boyfriend aesthetics! i love bf aesthetics and they are almost ALWAYS my wallpapers....

soft aesthetics...cute smiling shit

it’s either soft af or hard af with mafia aus sO 

a tired college girl who just wants a boyfriend or girlfriend but also wants to get straight A’s and achieve a 6 figure wage but also has a secret dream of becoming a singer and or becoming a creative writing professor but already has too many expectations to live up to so she lowkey has to abandon those dreams 

thats my aesthetic

except im not in college LOL

tagging: @jaehyunsparadise and @thanksjaemin and @mcrkels !!! enjoy lovelies !!!! 

[ethereal-pluto-blog]

I feel like shit today

I'm lethargic, slow, crying, and insecure. So yep ~depression~ has come to rear its ugly head once again.

But since I'm not into the whole anti-recovery thing, I'll give you some useful tips on how to maybe help YOUR depression that doesn't seem like a generic twitter self help thread. (Though I'll mention some things I found helpful and give explainations as to why.)

Talk to your therapist/counselor/mental health expert if available. Not everyone has the luxury of seeking professional help, but if you have the opportunity, PLEASE go to a professional. However be noted that it's often an experience to go through many different experts to find the one that matches your specific needs/ you like the most. Also keep in mind there are also online therapists ready to help if you're not big on one-on-one contact like myself, though often insurance is tricky. I put this one first because it might be the most beneficial for some, though not readily available for others.

If you have the strength, shower. Showering/cleaning yourself is a blessing in itself as it gives you a sense of detox. Though if you don’t have the strength or motivation, try some of this instead-

Utilize facewash and lotion. Particularly facewash that makes your face feel all chill and tingly, it makes you feel more refreshed. Lotions and cream will help you keep skin smooth.

Simply get wet with water, a quick 5 minute rinse in hot water is less of a chore than a full shower.

Dry shampoo will help with hair oiliness. Though if you don't have access just brush your hair and pull it/part it so it's out of your face.

Baby wipes. Baby wipes will cure yo soul. But seriously use baby wipes and rub them on your face, underarms, and genitals. A good rub down will help prevent you from feeling gross.

Splashing your face with cold water, it makes your pores tighten up and as a bonus it'll wake you up.

Utilize deodorant and vaseline. I haven't tried it out for myself, though if you put down deodorant and then vaseline on top it should trap the nice fragrant smell. And while you're at it you can put on cologne / perfume if you think you're getting a lil ripe, but if you want to smell like a fresh shower use ones that are labeled "shower fresh" or "baby powder."

If your lips are chapped, put on some balm shisters. (I don't trust the brand chapstick, I'm a conspiracy theorist okay I'm soRRy)

Change into some cleaner clothes. They don't have to be normal everyday clothes but at least change into new clothes, especially underwear.

Clean your fingernails/toenails. Clean under them, since random junk can get stuck up in there. Also clip them if they're too long for your liking.

Brush your teeth. But if you can't, use mints, gum, mouthwash, mouthspray, etc, or a combination of those. Anything minty will make your mouth tingle and feel fresh and clean.

Clean yo ears! Since probably nobody uses an ear vacuum (like you're supposedly supposed to idk I'm too broke for that shit anyways) just be careful using Q-tips.

If you don’t have any deodorant, try hand sanitizer! I'm not kidding. Put a dollop under each underarm, and let dry. Smells are caused by bacteria, so if you get hand sanitizer, it should greatly reduce smell.

Try to get some sun. Using the natural sunlight will help you absorb vitamin D. So open up the blinds and photosynthesize binches. Though it also helps to open up the window if you can, a breeze/fresh air blowing in with the smell of outside might even raise your mood. Though if it's currently shitty weather outside, try turning on your lights to match your circadian rhythm, so keep lights on during the day and dim it at night so it'll help with letting you be on a decent sleep schedule.

Feeling like there's no hope or that your future is going to be shit? Highkey me too, but here's what I do to combat that feeling.

It's corny, but I write a whole idealized future for myself. I write about my dream job, I write about my dream s/o, I even imagine the type of house I want to live in, the kids I'll have, what kind of pets I want to own. Etc. Although the economy is shit and no future is guaranteed, it's nice to put some positivity into light and show what I really want in life. I don't want to be some millionaire, I just want to be comfortably well off with a family and people that love me. And in all honesty a future like that isn't hard to obtain.

Even if you can't imagine a good future for yourself, imagine being a part of your friends or loved one's futures. For example, you know your friend who's dating this really cute person that you totally ship them with? Imagine being a part of the bridesmaids/groomsmen for their wedding when they tie the knot! Imagine your really smart friend finally graduating from college and you're at their graduation party giving them a speech! For me this really helps since I aspire to be drinking buddies with my best friend's future husband. (I'm rlly goofy ik lmao)

Feeling stressed about not doing anything? We've all been there. Try:

Doing work if you're due for assignments, though don't do it alone, if you can, arrange a group text/tutoring session/Skype call. If everyone is focused on getting something done then you'll be motivated to do it with them.

Though if you don’t absolutely have to do anything but want to do ~s o m e t h i n g~ I also got your back on this too.

Organize your inbox for your email. (Ik I'm lame)

Tidy/clean your room/any room if that gives you something to do.

Make your bed.

Cuddle someone/something.

Rearranging your stuff in your room, makes it feel like a whole remodel tbh.

Burn candles/incense. Don't ask just...trust me on this it can change the aura.

If you're religious, practice!

Take aesthetic photos of things in your room. Download VSCO and experiment with it. I also recommend Huji Cam and Afterlight. All are available for IOS and Android.

If you appreciate music- use YouTube and find some Playlists, or if you can, spotify premium will save yo mortal soul.

Like video games? Play some! Or if you're a brokeass like me, let's plays and walk throughs work well too.

If you got pets, pet them. Do it. Snuggle. Or if you love animals in general go and watch some vids on YouTube.

Build a fort.

If you're an artist or appreciate art- draw! Or you can watch animatics, animation memes, art channels, or follow artists on here or on Instagram and Twitter if you want to be inspired, or just observe.

Have a certain series you keep putting off? Watch! It! Netflix/Hulu that shit. Or cable TV works too.

Go on Wikipedia and just go on an adventure. Click from link to link and see where it takes you. Learn some weird new facts!

Read a new book.

Read the news/watch the news.

Write about a certain topic that you're absolutely fascinated about.

Watch movies!

Join a club/interest group. You can do this online too and it'll help meet people with similar interests as you. You can make new friends this way.

Give your friends a call/text. Having conversations will keep you occupied.

Self love aka masturbate. Or have (safe) sex with someone you trust!

Workout

Do some makeup/skincare routine. Even if you think you look bad just commit to practicing.

Sometimes it's just funny to go through and read some Reddit threads so be safe when surfing on there.

Stretch and move around! Dance if you wanna!

Do your hair/experiment in some new styles, maybe even dye it if you feel daring.

Have an icon you stan? Stan HARDER.

Watch iconic vine/rare vine compilations until you can memorize them.

Clean out your phone contacts of people that are irrelevant/toxic!! Out of sight out of mind! Don't hang on to them if they did you wrong. All the text conversations will just make you feel worse!

Actually cook your favorite food, cooking it will make you more dedicated to eating it and give you more of an appreciation for it.

Organize your closet.

Organize anything in your room/closet. Throw away things that you don't need or are too old to use.

Start collecting things, stuffed animals, pins, snowglobes, you name it.

Pinterest is addictive lowkey so try that if you're into that kind of stuff.

Write! Write a new story, write poetry, write about your feelings, write a letter, write fanfiction, express yourself.

Use Duolingo to try and study a new language to learn. (The owl will harass tf outta your email though but as long as you do like 5 minutes a day he won't bother.)

That's about all I can think of but feel free to add more for activities to dedicate your time to.

If you need to, because of your self image, don't go and stand in front of mirrors. If I stand in front of a mirror too long I'll end up scrutinizing myself and find a flaw after flaw. If you are specifically insecure about something with your body, look up models who have the same thing! Like if you're insecure about having vitiligo, look up Winnie Harlow! She's gorgeous! If you're insecure about being chubby, look up plus sized models! If you have a tooth gap, there's plenty of people like you! You don't have to feel ugly because of that when you have these awesome models rocking what they got.

Vent. You can vent to your friends, family, or even online. There are apps that allow you to vent anonymously to others without the fear of judgement. But if you can't do that, take a pen/pencil and write something down in your notebook. Though don't reread it to keep drowning in the negativity, once you write it, shut it. You can do the same on Google Docs online, once you write down everything, delete it. Don't keep trying to fuel your negative thoughts and bitterness, get your rant over with and be done. It's like a fresh start. (Plus on my Instagram spam account I always feel really silly looking at my old rant posts, so I usually delete stuff afterwards when I'm not feeling so in my feelings).

Don't expect recovery to be in a straight line. You'll have amazing days and also have extremely shitty days. Recovery isn't hoping to never experience shitty days, recovery is being able to feel the strength on those shitty days and know that they'll pass, and with each storm you'll be stronger than before. Don't push yourself to be flawless, because shit happens. But you'll make it through. And that's what matters.

And last but not least, seek emergency help if you feel like you're dangerously close to ending your life due to pain. Call the suicide hotline for support, because the pain can ease soon if you ask for the help that you need and deserve.

Not everyone that reads this is going to be like "wow this really helped me cope with my depression/mental illness!" But my goal was to at least try. It may not work for everyone unfortunately, but I hope that anyone dealing with a mental illness is on the road to recovering. Because I know how it feels. It feels sucky as fuck. But if this helps even just one person, then that's enough. I hope everyone has at least a decent day, and I hope that everyone's pain eases soon.