#low-tech versus monsters

[wuxiaphoenix]

Colors of Another Sky Worldbuilding: Flint vs. Match

Necessary caveat: Not a gun expert, nor do I play one on TV. I have almost no practical experience with firearms. (One day I want to have enough hobby money aside to visit a gun range and impose on them to show me All The Things.) I have, however, tried to get a handle on what kind of firearms were historically bouncing around Northeast Asia about 1550-1650. Most of those, even in European hands, would have been matchlocks.

There’s an account from Xu Guangqi (yes, that Xu Guangqi) in Ming China about 1605 of an arquebus that can “use stone to ignite fire”. There’s another mention in the official record of the Joseon dynasty that on the 12th of July, 1631 (the 9th year of King Injo), a magistrate sent a flintlock musket to the king as a potential trade item. This is the first known flintlock in Joseon. King Injo, worried about the Jurchen/Manchu threat, wanted to mass-produce flintlocks, but the court... resisted. As we now know, bad call.

So. Matchlock vs. flintlock. These terms don’t actually refer to specific types of guns. They refer to how the gun ignites and fires.

In brief: Gunpowder down the muzzle. Wadding and bullet down the muzzle. Gunpowder in the priming pan. Then, and only then, do they differ.

A matchlock has a burning slow match. (Yes, technical term.) A thick fuse you’ve already set alight, attached to the serpentine (looks like the hammer on a more modern gun). When you pull the trigger it slams the match into the pan, setting that ablaze, which puts fire through the touchhole, which sets off the main charge, which shoots the bullet.

A flintlock has gunflint. Pull the trigger, it slams the flint against the steel frizzen to make a spark. Ignition proceeds, boom.

So. Advantages versus disadvantages?

Overall and in the long run, a flintlock is advantageous. First, so long as you don’t bust up your gun, the flint’s not consumed by being used. Slow match is. Second, if rain or accident soaks your flint, you can dry it out and use it later. Slow match, not so much. Third, whenever the match slams into the pan, there’s a chance it’ll go out and you’ll need to relight it. Flint doesn’t have that problem. Fourth, with a flint there are no sparks until you fire. Meaning you can sneak up on an enemy position in low visibility without slow match blinking like a swarm of fireflies.

Less supplies needed, less chance of going wrong, more sneakiness potential. All of these mean that if you have a choice on the battlefield, take the flintlocks.

However. The main characters in Colors are not soldiers. They are monster hunters.

There are monsters against which mass artillery is your best bet. In which case they’re likely to commandeer the nearest hwacha. They are definitely not averse to guns, or the most modern tech they can get their hands on. Yet they’d hesitate to switch to flintlocks. Because flintlocks don’t have slow match.

This is where the magic aspect kicks in. Monsters (and cultivators) have weaknesses, effectively banes; things that really don’t agree with how their body runs and heals itself. Cultivator banes vary, and individuals generally find ways to work around them. Monster banes tend to be more predictable. Silver, hawthorn, cold iron, various purifying herbs and the like. Some of these can be added to ammo, but herbs make terrible alloys. Slow match, on the other hand, is made from vegetable fiber, usually cotton, soaked in a flammable solution. Herbs and hawthorn could be in that solution, or even woven in as part of the fiber itself. With the added benefit that if you have said match on you, burning or not, a vulnerable monster may hesitate to close in and shred you to pieces.

This also means if you know what you’re hunting, you can switch out your match for the best bane you’ve got. It complicates logistics but it can save a monster hunter’s life.

Likewise, think. If you’re hunting monsters at night, you run a very real risk of shooting your fellow hunters by accident. If everyone’s carrying burning match, you have a visual marker telling you don’t shoot.

There’s another more subtle magical aspect that can affect the battlefield. Skilled craftsmen cultivators can work an array into an object, to be set off under certain conditions. Smoke from your slow match might be part of said conditions. Although given the time and expertise needed, this would probably still be more specialty weapons for officers and sneaky troops.

If you’re wondering about flintlocks/matchlocks versus cultivators or other magic users? A bullet’s a bullet, dangerous to anyone, and an exploding iron shell is one of the known ways to kill a pesky enemy cultivator. (And anyone else standing in fifty-odd feet.) AKA while some cultivators can survive incredible injuries, even a stab to the heart, assume the Chunky Salsa Rule applies.

There are magical ways to defeat gunfire, most of which boil down to don’t get hit. Some cultivators can form elemental shields, stopping bullets with a sheer mass of water or stone. Some play tricks with gravity. Some can form portals that whip the bullet or shrapnel off Somewhere Else. But all of these depend on a cultivator knowing they’re about to get shot with enough time to react. Mind, they can react supernaturally fast, but....

(If you’re getting the idea that John Wick would be a very real threat to even a powerful cultivator - yes. Yes he would.)

Aaaand then there are demons.

The Chunky Salsa Rule does not apply to demons.

In this AU, one of the reasons the Ming Dynasty hasn’t been as grabby for northern territory as they were IRL is, there are demons there. Daehan, and their Demon-Callers, are a buffer between Ming and things you need a flamethrower to stop.

...Well, they haven’t been as grabby yet. The Ming are dealing with the Jesuits. They have access to gunflints.

Oh boy.

Shoutout to Kateriobrian; hope this is what you had in mind! ;)

[senstless]

Splinterlands BATTLE MAGE SECRETS Featuring Unproctected in Bronze League

Featuring Bronze League Summoner and Monsters in Action!

CHALLENGE RULES

RULESET: Unprotected

All armor is removed from units and one cannot gain armor.

Shield and Divine Shield are unaffected.

Reasons Why I like it

This really changes a lot of games. Removing all armor helps melee monsters and also can help magic monsters as void armor is no longer applicable and typically monsters that have void do not have high health. Given the rule set I chose to play melee heavy and try to secure knockouts on my opponent.

The Matchup - Where Rules Sets, Splinters and Mana Collide

The Rule Sets

Watch the Match Here

MANA: 28

Ruleset: Unprotected: All armor is removed from monsters and one cannot gain armor.

SPLINTERS: Fire, Death

Initial Rule Set and Mana Gameplay Thoughts

Rulesets Given the rule sets and the splint is available I think it's going to be mainly focused and I wanted to go with fire since they are a typical melee powerhouse. Well death has some great lineups, most of the cards that I would consider using or probably higher mana.

Mana 28 man I should allow for a robust team but not one fully loaded with all the biggest hitters. I think I can load a fairly balanced team but

Splinters Having only fire and death makes me believe this is going to be a fire focused battle.

Summoner ETERNAN BRUNE I wanted to be able to use a Gladius card so this was my only choice

First Position KRASH WANDERFORD It's high speed, and high health means that it might Fair extremely positively in a melee focused match. Getting a melee tech boost from the second card means that might be able to trigger bloodlust and add even more speed

Second Position FEREXIAN HERO The fact that it has reach and weapons training means that it will attack the tank card as well as allow crash Wonder Ford to also attack.

Third Position MORDEUS While very open to attack with its low mana, I'm hoping it gets a chance to attack first and knock out a card or two before being eliminated

Fourth Position LAVA SPIDER Decided to change it up here a little bit and move away from Ureas since there is no armor, and play lava spider since it has five health and might last longer against a sneak attack team

Fifth Position SCORCH FIEND Purely to pick up any of those sneak attacks that come first

Opponent Lineup & Match Play

Summoner TARSA Classic play to give your team of melee boost since it's a melee focused match

ANTOID PLATOON Well typically great, the loss of The armor does have an impact although it's bigger benefit is typically the shield

TENYH STRIKER Great choice, decent speed attack and health it makes it a well-balanced card for mana

SERPENTINE SPY Fast attacking in heavy hitting this might become an issue for me luckily it won't be enough to take out Mordues been the first round

URAEUS The second sneak attack card means they're fairly well balanced and will be coming at the back of my lineup versus the front

SPIRIT HOARDER Actually a pretty solid play considering that the final card has taunt. This will allow them to keep my attacks focused elsewhere for a while

IIDRI FYRE Pretty solid choice here it's a decent speed which might cause a mess or two plus it has taunt which will attract all the opportunity and sneak monsters giving it a chance to keep the tank alive

Round 1

Before the match starts I kind of like where I am, I think I'll get to knock out their tank card in the first round, but I know I will be losing several of my own. Has the round starts off, I'm the the only two cars lost in the first round. Losing both scorch themed and lava spider exposed to back half of my lineup. The exceptional speed of wander Ford does generate a miss and things will be interesting in round two

Round 2

It's round two starts off with a bang, Wonder Ford gets its first knockout and bloodlust boosting its speed to 9 and it's damaged to three. Has the round continues to play out I am fortunate as all of my monsters attack first, and they all hit. As the things flip over to my opponent they're able to secure a knockout on Mordeus leaving me only two monsters. Since both of my monsters will be attacking the tank, and none of them will be taunted away I'm hoping it doesn't hurt me too much. It still looks like I end around with my two monsters versus their five.

Round 3

Round three starts off and my speed helps me secure another knockout as the combination of my two attacks knock out their tank moving them down to just four cards. My tremendous speed generates another mess this round which was a 60% chance favorite to miss, well the rest of their team finishes off the attacks things are looking decent

Round 4

My speed is devastating at the starter from as wonderful gets another knockout on the first turn giving it a melee speed and health boost. This now means that I'm an 80% chance to be missed, I then secure the second knockout from forexion leaving them only two monsters one of which will do damage. At this point the game is over and it's just a matter of getting through the iterations

Round 5

Clearly I'll go first in round five and secure yet another knockout, eliminating their only offensive card left. I do love the stats on wonder Ford as it gets boosted to five melee, 11 speed which is an amazing stat line.

Round 6

Around sex is my last and final round where I secure and lock up the victory, it was all just a formality.

Thoughts -

I really like the combination of Krash wonderful and forexion hero. This allows me to benefit from bloodlust and allows me to build stats to even a higher ratio. The exceptionally high speed means that it is very hard for slower melee monsters to hit. I will continue to play around with this strategy and see what other lineups I can create.

~~@senstless

[marshmallowgoop]

Kill la Kill the Game: IF: Character Introduction Dialogue

A transcript of the character introduction dialogue said before each match in Kill la Kill the Game: IF.

[Please note: This list is currently incomplete. I will update as more gameplay videos surface!]

Satsuki Kiryuin versus Satsuki Kiryuin

Satsuki: I shall fight and rebuild this entire world!

Satsuki: I shall fight and rebuild this entire world!

[Video] 

Satsuki Kiryuin versus Ryuko Matoi

Satsuki: A girl who's being worn by her Kamui is no match for Satsuki Kiryuin!

Ryuko: Let's do this! Do you ever stop looking down on people?! Guess I've gotta teach you some manners!

[Video]

Satsuki: Come then, Ryuko Matoi. Show me your strength!

Ryuko: Let’s do this!

Senketsu: Careful you don’t overheat!

Ryuko: Bring it on! Come at me from all sides!

[Video]

Satsuki Kiryuin versus Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield)

Satsuki: [not translated]

Ryuko: It ain’t just my weapon that’s different. Me n’ Senketsu are stronger, too!

Senketsu: Yes, that’s exactly right, Ryuko! Let’s win!

Ryuko: Better be prepared, Satsuki Kiryuin!

[Note: My translation.]

[Video]

Satsuki Kiryuin versus Ragyo Kiryuin

Satsuki: Ragyo Kiryuin... I’ll take your life, right here and now.

Ragyo: Good grief. Is that anything to say towards your own mother?

[Video]

Satsuki: Ragyo Kiryuin... I shall take your life, right here and now.

Ragyo: Now, now. Is that any way for a daughter to speak to her mother?

[Note: This is a re-translation of the dialogue above.]

[Video]

Satsuki Kiryuin (Dual Wield) versus Satsuki Kiryuin (Dual Wield)

Satsuki: Your mimicry of me is nonsense... Who are you?

Satsuki: [no footage yet]

[Video]

Satsuki Kiryuin (Dual Wield) versus Ryuko Matoi

Satsuki: Listen well, Ryuko Matoi! Someone like yourself, one of low ambitions, can never stop me!

Ryuko: Let’s do this!

Senketsu: Careful you don’t overheat!

Ryuko: Ambitions my ass! I do whatever the hell I want!

[Video]

Satsuki Kiryuin (Dual Wield) versus Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield)

Satsuki: Your Snippity-Snips are just another fancy pair of scissors. Your blade shall never reach me!

Ryuko: Well, we'll see about that.

Senketsu: We've become stronger than ever. You should be able to win against Satsuki Kiryuin!

Ryuko: That's the spirit! Let's go, Senketsu!

[Video]

Satsuki Kiryuin (Dual Wield) versus Nui Harime

Satsuki: Nui Harime. You’re not getting away. This is where you end!

Nui: You’re cute, Lady Satsuki. That furrowed brow...? Yeah, not so much.

[Video]

Satsuki Kiryuin (Dual Wield) versus Ragyo Kiryuin

Satsuki: I will never forgive you for what you've done, Ragyo Kiryuin. I will take your life, right here and now!

Ragyo: I don't need forgiveness from a human. Humans are nothing but cattle for the Life Fibers to rule over!

[Video]

Satsuki: I will never forgive you for what you’ve done. I will take your life... right here and now!

Ragyo: [no footage]

[Note: This is a re-translation of the dialogue above.]

[Video] 

Ryuko Matoi versus Satsuki Kiryuin

Ryuko: Let's do this! Keep telling yourself that while we're kicking your ass!

Satsuki: So be it. Perhaps a beating will finally shut you up.

[Video] 

Ryuko Matoi versus Satsuki Kiryuin (Dual Wield)

Ryuko: Let's do this!

Senketsu: Don't get too heated.

Ryuko: Get ready! This time, you're going down!

Satsuki: Very well. We'll see about that. Come at me, Ryuko Matoi!

[Video]

Ryuko Matoi versus Ira Gamagoori

Ryuko: Senketsu!

Senketsu: Leave it to me!

Ryuko: Out of my way, Gamagoori! Kiryuin is who I’m really after. I’ve got no business with her groupies!

Ira: If you want to fight with Lady Satsuki, then you must go through me first!

[Video]

Ryuko Matoi versus Nui Harime

Ryuko: Senketsu!

Senketsu: Leave it to me!

Ryuko: It’s time to pay your dues! Just give up!

Nui: You really think you can keep up that act of yours, Ryuko?

[Video]

Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield) versus Satsuki Kiryuin

Ryuko: Here I come, Satsuki Kiryuin! It's time to figure out which one of us is stronger!

Senketsu: Don't get too heated. Keep calm.

Ryuko: I know.

Satsuki: Fine... Then show me what you got.

[Video]

Ryuko: Okay, Satsuki Kiryuin! We’re gonna settle this right here!

Senketsu: She’s strong, Ryuko! Stay focused!

Ryuko: Got it!

Satsuki: Your talk is cheap. Show me what you’re made of!

[Video]

Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield) versus Satsuki Kiryuin (Dual Wield)

Ryuko: Satsuki Kiryuin! We’ll settle the score right here!

Senketsu: Ryuko, stay focused! She’s strong!

Ryuko: Got it!

Satsuki: Talk is cheap. Show me what you’ve got.

[Video]

Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield) versus Ira Gamagoori

Ryuko: These Elite Four dicks ain’t got nothing on me now!

Senketsu: Don’t get cocky, Ryuko. Let your guard down and it’s over.

Ryuko: Quit worrying! I’m goin’ full blast, like always! It’s all or nothing!

Ira: You’re not the only one that’s gotten stronger. Don’t think for a second you can beat me as easily as you did before!

[Video]

Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield) versus Nonon Jakuzure

Ryuko: Jakuzure, those beats of yours give me a damn headache, so I’m gonna have to take you down nice and quick.

Senketsu: [no footage yet]

Ryuko: [no footage yet]

Nonon: Hey, transfer student. Just warning you, there won’t be any leaving mid-performance. You’re gonna have to stick around till the end!

[Video]

Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield) versus Nui Harime

Ryuko: You killed my dad, Nui! And for that, I’m gonna kill YOU!

Senketsu: I know how you feel, Ryuko. But try to stay calm.

Ryuko: Don’t worry, I won’t spazz out anymore.

Nui: Nope, nope, nope! You’re not strong enough to beat me, Ryuuuuuuko!

[Video]

Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield) versus Ragyo Kiryuin

Ryuko: Back off! You ain't got no place in this fight!

Senketsu: We're in trouble, Ryuko. She's dangerous...!

Ryuko: I know, but I can't back down!

Ragyo: I'm stunned that such a delinquent attends Honnouji Academy. Satsuki must not be doing so well.

[Video]

Ryuko: I don't got business with mama Kiryuin, but if she gets in my way, I'll kick her ass.

Senketsu: Ryuko, she's on another level. Be careful.

Ryuko: Yeah, I suppose she is Satsuki's mother, after all.

Ragyo: Oh, come now. It's a parent's job to clean up their child's mess.

[Video]

Ira Gamagoori versus Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield)

Ira: --many weapons you have, I’ll take all your punishment and release it back onto you, two-fold!

Ryuko: Sounds good, you kinky freak! Let’s get it on!

Senketsu: --n absorb damage and convert it to power. Our chance comes when he releases that power.

Ryuko: Thanks, Senketsu. I can always count on you!

[Note: Some subtitles are cut off.]

[Video]

Ira Gamagoori versus Uzu Sanageyama

Ira: I am Lady Satsuki's absolute shield! Don't think you can break me that easily.

Uzu: I accept your challenge! I'll break straight through your shield!

[Video]

Ira Gamagoori versus Nonon Jakuzure

Ira: Let’s see how good your performance is!

Nonon: Sure. I have the perfect show lined up for you, Gama!

[Video]

Ira: All right, here I am. Now let’s see how good your performance is!

Nonon: Okay, Gama. I happen to have the perfect show lined up for you!

[Note: This is a re-translation of the dialogue above.]

[Video]

Ira Gamagoori versus Nui Harime

Ira: You may know Lady Satsuki personally, but I will not hold back if you stand in her way!

Nui: Yep, you don't ever have to go easy on me. Come at me with everything you've got!

[Video]

Ira Gamagoori versus Ragyo Kiryuin

Ira: I better not underestimate Lady Satsuki’s mother.

Ragyo: [no footage yet]

[Video] 

Uzu Sanageyama versus Satsuki Kiryuin

Uzu: A serious match with you is all I want.

Satsuki: Then you shall have to inspire me to become serious!

[Video]

Uzu Sanageyama versus Ryuko Matoi

Uzu: Get ready! We’re gonna settle the score today, once and for all!

Ryuko: [no footage yet]

[Video]

Uzu Sanageyama versus Uzu Sanageyama

Uzu: I never thought I’d be fighting myself. It’s trippin’ me out.

Uzu: [no footage yet]

[Video]

Uzu Sanageyama versus Ragyo Kiryuin

Uzu: Her presence is overwhelming. Which means I have to be even more overwhelming!

Ragyo: You're one of Satsuki's friends, right? Let's see if you're capable of serving as my daughter's pawn.

[Video]

Houka Inumuta versus Ira Gamagoori

Houka: Gamagoori, your data is mine.

Ira: Go ahead and see if your combat data works against me, Inumuta.

[Video]

Houka: You’re remarkably tough. But if I hit your weak spot, I believe I can beat you.

Ira: [no footage yet]

[Video]

Houka: Your data is mine, Gamagoori. Thank you in advance.

Ira: Come on then, Inumuta. Let’s see how well your combat data works against me.

[Video]

[Note: This is likely a re-translation of the dialogue above.]

Houka Inumuta versus Nui Harime

Houka: Scary, scary. You must be a monster if you're facing off with someone in a Goku Uniform without one of your own.

Nui: You're really insensitive. I bet you don't have many friends!

[Video]

Nonon Jakuzure versus Ryuko Matoi (Dual Wield)

Nonon: I don’t care how many scissors you have! I’m gonna crush you flatter than a cymbal!

Ryuko: Act tough while you still can! I’m gonna cut you in two before you can even blink!

Senketsu: Well...? Do you have a plan?

Ryuko: Get in close and cut her up!

[Video]

Nonon Jakuzure versus Ira Gamagoori

Nonon: Alright Gama, let's see who deserves to stand by Lady Satsuki!

Ira: Very well. Challenge accepted!

[Video]

Nonon Jakuzure versus Houka Inumuta

Nonon: Didn't think you'd be interested in hearing my performance, Inu!

Houka: Your performance is perfect for my noise-cancelling tech.

[Video]

Nonon: How about a live performance for a change?

Houka: I don’t hate the idea, but I’d rather not listen to your playing.

[Video]

Nonon: How about a live performance for a change? I promise, it’ll be a blast!

Houka: I don’t hate the idea, but I’d rather not listen to you play right now.

[Note: This is a re-translation of the dialogue above.]

[Video]

Nui Harime versus Satsuki Kiryuin

Nui: Come on Lady Satsuki, hang out with me for once!

Satsuki: I’ll beat you down so you won’t ever speak to me like that again.

[Video]

Nui Harime versus Ryuko Matoi

Nui: Play with me, Ryuko!

Ryuko: Let’s do this!

Senketsu: Right!

Ryuko: I ain’t got time to be playin’ with you!

[Note: My translation.]

[Video]

Nui: I thought you hated me, Ryuko. Don't you want to avenge your father?

Ryuko: Let's do this!

Senketsu: Don't get too heated.

Ryuko: I won't be fooled by your words anymore! I only fight for the truth now!

[Video]

Nui Harime versus Ira Gamagoori

Nui: So, you're the self-proclaimed shield of Lady Satsuki? That means I get to go all-out, right?

Ira: I don't know what powers you have, but don't think you can take me down that easily.

[Video]

Nui Harime versus Uzu Sanageyama

Nui: [no footage yet]

Uzu: My opponent is a beast. I couldn’t ask for a better fight.

[Video]

Nui Harime versus Nonon Jakuzure

Nui: I heard you play a wind instrument. I wanna hear!

Nonon: Sure. I’ll make sure you feel the rhythm in your bones!

[Video]

Nui Harime versus Ragyo Kiryuin

Nui: I can’t wait to fight you, Lady Ragyo!

Ragyo: I’ll be more than happy to oblige an artist’s whim just this once.

[Video]

Nui: I was thinking, Lady Ragyo... maybe it might be a good idea for you to entertain me once in a while!

Ragyo: [no footage yet]

[Video]

Ragyo Kiryuin versus Satsuki Kiryuin (Dual Wield)

Ragyo: Finally, a nice family reunion with no one else to bother us. Come at me with everything you've got.

Satsuki: Absurd! Someone as heartless as you has no right to say anything!

[Video]

Ragyo: It seems you re-forged Bakuzan into a pair of blades. But that won’t close the gap in our strength.

Satsuki: [no footage yet]

[Video]

Ragyo Kiryuin versus Houka Inumuta

Ragyo: I thought all you did was collect data, but I guess you do know how to fight. Now this is getting interesting.

Houka: [no footage yet]

[Video]

Ragyo Kiryuin versus Nui Harime

Ragyo: Dearest Nui... I’ve been neglecting you lately. I’m so sorry. Come at me when you’re ready.

Nui: [no footage yet]

[Video]

[waveridden]

AUcember 2018 Masterpost

AUcember is an annual challenge that I do every year where I try to write a new AU every day in the month of December.

This year’s 31 fics included stories about: The Adventure Zone, ars Paradoxica, Campaign (Skyjacks), Campaign (Star Wars), Critical Role, Greater Boston, NeoScum, Sugar Pine 7, and Wolf 359. You can find individual links to each fic both on Tumblr on Ao3 below, sorted by fandom.

Read the collection on Ao3

Read the collection on Tumblr

#

The Adventure Zone

dal capo, professor au, implied kravitz/taako, 1.9k [tumblr] [ao3]

ars Paradoxica

unless we lift it up together, mateo/nikhil as doctors, 2k [tumblr] [ao3]

Campaign (Skyjacks)

i’ve been stood up by my calling, good omens fusion, 2.1k [tumblr] [ao3]

you’ll always chase a pedigree, magical realism, 1.9k [tumblr] [ao3]

the end of all things, inception fusion, 2k [tumblr] [ao3]

Campaign (Star Wars)

versus the world, campaign/evil campaign roleswap, 2.4k [tumblr] [ao3]

sublime, aava/lyn modern magic, 1.8k [tumblr] [ao3]

too large for any moment, pacific rim fusion, 1.9k [tumblr] [ao3]

dream me, o dreamer, blue/zero as monsters, 1.4k [tumblr] [ao3]

window blues, tryst/aava heist, 2.1k [tumblr] [ao3]

chain reaction, aava/leenik trapped in an elevator, 1.8k [tumblr] [ao3]

in the middle, tryst/aava/leenik animal shelter, 1.7k [tumblr] [ao3]

a treatise on making things, blue/zero as artists, 1.8k [tumblr] [ao3]

eyes closed, eyes low, gen road trip au, 1.9k [tumblr] [ao3]

(write to me and) escape, blue/zero roommates/tinder, 1.9k [tumblr] [ao3]

i’m writing your name on every page, restaurant au, implied tryst/leenik, 1.1k [tumblr] [ao3]

some things you just can’t refuse, white collar fusion, 2k [tumblr] [ao3]

i’ll be there next time, leenik/tryst & blue/zero holiday party, 1.7k [tumblr] [ao3]

Critical Role

seeing blind, beau/yasha blind date, 1.4k [tumblr] [ao3]

Greater Boston

by the light of day, louisa/nica wedding planner, 1.9k [tumblr] [ao3]

NeoScum

longer nights (with lesser feelings), tech/lance as superheroes, 2.5k [tumblr] [ao3]

glued together moments, gen college au, 2.1k [tumblr] [ao3]

apple cider, i don’t mind, dak/tech parent/teacher au, 2.9k [tumblr] [ao3]

going going gone, gen stuck at an airport au, 1.8k [tumblr] [ao3]

fast talk, the strange case of starship iris fusion, 2.3k [tumblr] [ao3]

i want so bad to be steady, dak/tech alice isn’t dead fusion, 1.7k [tumblr] [ao3]

helpless, dak/tech as neighbors, 1.4k [tumblr] [ao3]

the neon limelight, gen band au, 3.5k [tumblr] [ao3]

put your colors on, xanadu as soulmates, 1.5k [tumblr] [ao3]

Sugar Pine 7

car wrecks & thunderstorms bright, parker/cib post-breakup, 2.6k [tumblr] [ao3]

Wolf 359

living on your own time, undercover as married, 3.1k [tumblr] [ao3]

#

If you enjoyed these fics, make sure you send some good vibes and gratitude towards @travismcelrcy, who was my sounding board, my moral support, my cheerleader, my proofreader, and the greatest person in my life. They are a bright light and a brilliant writer, and I am lucky that I get to have that in my life. Thank you, darling. I could never ask for anything better than you.

If you enjoyed any of these fics, I have a ko-fi that you can use to tip me. This is completely optional, but deeply appreciated. If you are not both willing and able to tip me, the next best thing you can do is reblog this post or tell a friend about the fics. That’s deeply appreciated, too.

I’d like to thank everyone who read, reblogged, liked, quoted, commented, bookmarked, kudosed, told a friend, or generally enjoyed anything on this list. It was such a delight to work on this year, and the fact that other people enjoy these fics is icing on the cake. Happy new year, everyone. <3

[napbound]

New Personal Project

Hey everyone! I’ve been sitting on an idea for a side project to noodle around with, one that would be an actual playable thing and not just a tech proof of concept, and with UE5′s release & insane new feature sets, the possibility space & new frontiers have me feeling really excited and motivated to actually dig into it. Lumen and Nanite are bonkers, but I’m really super stoked on stuff like geometry scripting, material editor workflow improvements, new physics system, modeling & animation tools, the list goes on. As a bit of background, I’ve been having a hard time sticking with one particular project for a while, so I spent some time really playing games, seeing what I found myself spending a lot of time with versus things that couldn’t keep me engaged. I got inspired by games like Moonlighter, Valheim, Rust, and Elite Dangerous (the last three I played with friends) and found that I really enjoy the game flow of exploring spaces, fighting for loot, and weighing the risks of continuing further versus turning back and keeping my haul. I started jotting down some concepts and chatting with friends about, “wouldn’t it be cool if,” and, “I wish that I could do X thing here,” but I continued to sit on it while I worked on other tech doodles & primary job stuff. Anyway, while I know that UE5 is still in its infancy, this project idea hasn’t even left the incubator, and with the pace that I’ll be able to work on this thing at (see: slow) and my track-record for not finishing bigger personal projects, the risk in using UE5 as the kick-off engine version for this project seems very comfortably low. So here’s the pitch: A co-op, class-based, first-person dungeon crawler, with some light survival elements. Players need to navigate dungeons, fight monsters, solve puzzles, find keys & unlock doors to progress through tranches with the difficulty ramping up at each new level. Players get loot from enemies and chests in the dungeon, and the deeper they go, the better the loot gets. Similarly to Moonlighter, if the team decides to turn back and keep what they have, there’ll be opportunities to do so, but dungeons have a final stage, with some boss monster awaiting them. Loot brought back to town can be sold or traded or used, and character progression is driven by this explore-fight-loot-sell-trade loop, where new skills, weapons, equipment etc are acquired through trading their spoils.  Dungeon layouts will be procedural, allowing for wildly varying playthroughs. At the start, players will meet up in a hub area, like a tavern, and pick a dungeon to plunder from a job board or some similar interface. At the first stage of development I’ll have the loop exist between the hub and procedural dungeons with a loading screen as a partition, but I’ve been doing a ton of research and noodling with procedural world generation, and once the dungeon generation & core gameplay loops are in a solid spot, my long-term goal is to have sessions be contained in procedurally generated landscapes representing regions of a fictional world, where players can opt to actually travel to their destinations on foot or on mounts, stop to make camp, and explore the area. Dungeons could then be stumbled upon rather than being exclusively available through a job board and a loading screen, and light survival mechanics like hunger, thirst, exposure, camps and base-building will be introduced. The end goal is to have players start small; tackling dungeons through the tavern interface & either walking or paying for a wagon ride to their destination, eventually moving up a progression ladder; buying horses, better gear, acquiring new skills, tackling bigger dungeons, travelling to them via a mount, and building bases around the map to allow for fast-travel, supply storage, and personal expression/decoration etc. All of this feels lofty as I type it out and read it back, but I can also see clearly segmented sections of development from start to finish. I also had a really incredible experience making a multiplayer game with my brother for a game jam in the winter of 2020, where I found out how amazing it is to have something playable, with friends, and to see and hear their reactions to something we made, as horrendously buggy and unpolished as it was. That, combined with excitement about UE5, the overall possibility space of this idea & the alignment to my interests in tech & style, these things all have me feeling really motivated. I’m going to try to keep up regular blog posts about it, but I’m not going to make them super rigid, structured dev-blogs like you would see for an official, proper game. Instead, I’m just going to try and post about the stuff in development that I thought was interesting, share my approaches to problems, and overall be more open about struggles and successes and fun stuff in development. I’ll also try to stream development when it makes sense to do so. That’s all for now, stay safe out there! -CS

[tube-thoughts-blog]

Vol. 11

Zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

"Groove On Fight" --Sega Saturn-- (Atlus) -1997- *Imagine a Japanese pretty boy version of Christopher Walken with a neo biker / leather cowboy fetish. Now imagine an entire, -wealthy & powerful- "Game of Thrones style" inbred family of them all with some peculiar fetish. They fight it out for control of the family. The matriarchy of the family is two grannies tied back to back like Siamese bondage twins. One fight takes place on the back of an American type bomber plane up above the clouds. That last sentence pretty much speaks to the disturbed nature of a lot of Japanese art after World War 2.* close to 3 stars

Godfrey Ho's "Ninja Commandments" (1987) *Who knew that honky moral issues like pre-marital sex were such problems for Ninjas, or that they liked to party with skanky groupies, and that pretty much all ninjas are not-so-secretly middle age white men.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst --------

*Deadly Prey: Ice T's "The Game"(?), a movie where a guy gets kidnapped by army dudes and hunted for sport only to fight back, this time with a hero who's a Patrick Swayze type bohunk Rambo.* 2 1/2 stars

*Hard Ticket To Hawaii: Skinemax classic about blonde bimbos trying to stop criminal smuggling in an exotic locale. Also, killer, "infectious," cancer-ridden, huge snake.* 2 1/2 stars

*Miami Connection: Lost & found gem of a movie with nearly as many awkwardly awesome moments as Tommy Wiseau's "The Room."* 3 stars

Red Letter agrees that Miami Connection is "The Best of the Worst."

---------------------------------

"Red Earth" aka "Warzard" (Capcom) *A wizard summons up a bunch of kaiju monsters, in scattered epic sites, that only a big lion-man and several other heroes can vanquish from the earth. Typical wizard being a total dickhead, to the rest of magic-impaired mankind, behavior.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Bushido Blade 2" (Playstation 1) *Bloodthirsty Japanese clans have kept up the honor of warring over territory for power for centuries up into modern times, in this game. It's a nice mixture of both old and new worlds, and the music and dialogue is well done, and even the setting and characters (though limited by the blocky polygon look of early 3D). It keeps with "realism" too with one good killing stroke, with a warrior's sword, doing the job. It even has thrills like bikini girls with machine guns.* 2 1/2 stars

"The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service Vol. 4" (Dark Horse Manga) *Morbid and eccentric tales of a group of Buddhist college students with unique gifts of communicating with corpses littered in strange locations around Japan. They help fill the odd requests of these bodies to be put at peace usually in some morbid way or involving some morbid mystery. Instead of trash "reality" entertainment like Long Island Medium, this much better "talking with the deceased" fiction should be turned into tv entertainment for western audiences. It's so much more interesting and entertaining.* 3 stars

"Savage Reign" (SNK) *This is the Kris Kross of fighters. Kriss Kross being a pair of 12 year old rappers whose record company realized their talent was lacking so they came up with the bright idea to have the duo dress with their clothes backwards. The gimmicks in Savage Reign are plenty. There's a clown who fights with roller skates. A valley-girl swinging around a pink bowling ball. His name is Joker, and she looks like a cleaned up Harley Quinn, come to think of it now. A Vanilla Ice look-a-like sports a Captain America' Canadian tuxedo of denim and stars and stripes. The Ryu style hero, of the game, fights without fireballs but instead a silly boomerang. The big boss is a fancier "cock of the walk" Shao Kahn throwing his punches with fists covered in boxing gloves. Sickly serene backgrounds include a generic Disneyland theme park and an underground cow milking gang hideout that is almost as weird as something out of "Naked Lunch."* 2 stars

The Spoony Experiment: Clones of Bruce Lee *When Bruce Lee tragically died during the height of his career, movie producing jerks didn't let it stop them from abusing his legacy. Tons of Bruce Lee impersonators popped up and a sub-genre of exploitation movies was born. They were called Brucesploitation flicks. In this one, it's about as shameless as it gets with a plot about cloning Bruce Lee before his body has even grown cold and using the clones for nefarious purposes.* close to 2 stars for the sleazy, cheesy movie and 3 stars for Spoony's review

"Fight For Life" (The Last Official Atari Jaguar Game) --1996-- *Show a kid, today, an Atari 2600 game and they'll think you're giving them something like an ink blot test. Having witnessed an Atari 2600 game, back in the day, it felt like I was standing on the edge of the digital future. The Atari Jaguar promised that brave, new, digital future with their doomed Jaguar gaming machine. I remember the first time I saw Sega's Virtua Fighter in an arcade. I did get that "tomorrow feeling." I couldn't wait to take these blocky 3D characters and make them my sandbox toys tossing them around with their ragdoll physics. It was mind blowing. Atari's Fight For Life wanted to be like Virtua Fighter, only it comes off more like a 2600 ink blot test for the imagination, and really painful to the senses. Man, is it ugly and clunky. It's definitely not "epic," but I can compare it to something else that is "epic." The Faith No More "Epic" music video where the fish out of water is flopping its death throes. It's more like that fish than a jaguar.* between 1 and 1 1/2 stars

The Cinema Snob: Karate Girl *Rape revenge exploitation "thriller" circa 1970s about a mute girl from a Turkish village. The kind of movie that Tarantino would rip off elements from and be called a genius later. Also featuring an infamous over-the-top death scene that's become an internet meme.* close to 2 stars for the movie & close to 3 stars for the review

"The Blonde Fury" (1989) *Cynthia Rothrock is the greatest female action star. It had to be said, because it's true. This is a Hong Kong action flick about crazy counterfeiters and quirky investigators. The English dubbing is extra entertaining and the comedy is quite clever.* 3 stars

Black Sails: Season 1 Episode 5 *Finally, a bloody battle, at sea, to go along with the pirate base politics and prostitute abuse.* 3 stars

Hot Package: Pilot (Adult Swim) --2013-- *Spoof of insipid celebrity obsessed shows like E!NEWS and Entertainment Tonight, but with a weird EverythingIsTerrible style obscure internet clip twist. Featuring "hot phone sex" Pat from Access Hollywood and produced by Tim & Eric from Adult Swim.* close to 2 1/2 stars

"Slap Happy Rhythm Busters" (Playstation One) *Filled with quirky characters who use supermoves similar to a Marvel Versus series game & graphics as brightly colored as 'Viewtiful Joe' 'Katamari Damacy' & 'Legend of Zelda Windwaker', Slap Happy will slap you silly with enjoyment.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Slaughter Sport" aka "Tongue of the Fatman" (Razorsoft) Sega Genesis 1991 *Another barbaric battle of death, in a palace pit, hosted by a Jabba the Hutt style freak boss who also looks like a shirtless Eric Cartman, in his underwear, with a hideous face and tongue on his fat rolls of a belly. Tech-abominations like a cybernetic chicken, fierce sex slave warrior chicks, gassy gargoyles, spider-women, bad boy white rappers, and other mutated freaks of the wasteland compete for the hunger and amusement of Mondu, the fatman. His pet sand-shark finishes off the losers.* running from close to 2 stars down to 1 star

"Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters: Melee" (x-Box) *This has almost everything a fan of kaiju destruction could want. Just about every Tokyo stomping monster is in it, and playable. Only thing missing is frightened citizens running about pointing at "Gojira." Plus, I think the voices over the airwaves should sound Asian. Points for the quirky bits like a UFO hovering over attacking and Mothra getting in on the action.* close to 3 stars

"Rakuga Kids" *Some brats battle their stuffed animals around their playrooms and neighborhood that look like they're out of a pop-up storybook. It's sort of Street Fighter 2 meets Toy Story 2. Animated similar to Rugrats and Adult Swim's Home Movies.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Dragoon Might" -Arcade- (Konami) --1995-- *The fancy presentation of this game reminds me of 2009's 3D spectacle, Avatar. It makes me wanna reach out and pick a low hanging piece of pretty fruit and bite into it. Yet, there's a pit. The artistry and poetry looks at times like it's coming from a Crouching Tiger, but hidden in the bushes, ready to pounce, is a shirtless guy in torn jeans and brandishing a butcher knife. It's just goodtime trash stealing your quarters.* 2 1/2 stars

"Kaiser Knucle" (Arcade) *This is the Vanilla Ice "Cool As Ice" of Street Fighter 2 rip offs. You can play as Fred Flinstone's daughter or "Barts" Yes with an S (teen biker Bart Simpson?) & Ryu w/ flowing mullet, or even "Boggy" who is a MC Hammer wannabe. "Don't hurt 'em!"* 2 stars

Nostalgia Critic: Rise of the Commercials *A look back on when silly advertising really RULED! "Don't put it in your mouth." That is unless it's been properly branded by corporate America and parent approved.* 3 stars

Double Dare: Super Sloppiest Moments *Kids, and their mostly whitebread families, get covered in green slime.* 2 1/2 stars

Jack & Triumph: Commercial *It starts off funny with making fun of Dennis Leary for stealing Bill Hicks' comedy act. Then it gets typical with the whole Alan Thicke showing up and we're supposed to accept that he's now "ironically funny" because he's a square former celebrity acting in an offensive way that we never saw on his old tv show. That's the same kind of lame shit that media is always trying to do in a hipster way with all these former celebrities from the 70s, 80s, or 90s. Robert Smigel can do so much better, see TV Funhouse for example.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Master Ninja 1 *Lee Van Cleef makes a convincing wild west badass. Surrounded by 70s style slacker dude in a muscle van, mousey & young Demi Moore, hicksploitation villains, and obvious kung fu stuntman doing his action work -Lee struggles to make a convincing martial arts badass.* 2 stars with riffing between 1 1/2 and 2 stars without riffing

"Project Justice" --Sega Dreamcast-- (Capcom) *I believe it was the 70s, that era of great television, that first introduced the novelty of students teaming up with a teacher in the classic "Welcome Back, Kotter." The 80s went further, with this, having society's school aged misfits solving problems of gangs of bullies terrorizing the halls of school or jerks who wanted to close down the local youth center and even the retro cheese staple of ski slope jerks challenging our youthful heroes to a race for control of the ski slope club's mountain. This game is similar, in nature, and has the extra benefit of featuring quirky Japanese style characters and aesthetics.* close to 3 stars

"Last Bronx" (Sega Model 2 Arcade) *Consumer electronics have always been trendy with yuppies. When home entertainment centers became hot, everybody had to have one. Digital watches were on every wrist. A Sony walkman around every neck and in every pocket. Still, there was always a stigma about technology, whenever it was new or in development. At the turn of the 21st century, few would have imagined people lining up around the streets to get each new Apple computer product. Same with gaming, it was a kids novelty, and didn't have the online social media culture that it enjoyed after their was a broadband connection and a Sony Playstation 2 in most every living room across the globe. In the 90s testing stage for high end electronics and gaming, Japan was the tech giant. This game says "Last Bronx" but it's more like "Neo Tokyo." It had to have been pretty revolutionary for the time, and yet it looks very much like some thing most of us western yuppies would turn away at.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Robocop, the series: Officer Missing *"Winter is coming".... Land of the Dead... The Purge.... A Christmas Carol (Well, maybe not that one), Robocop did it first.* close to 2 1/2 stars

The Gong Show with Dave Attell: Season 1 Episode 8 *This show yips off into the sunset (cancelled, deservingly, I'm guessing) like a balloon animal dog from the sphincter of a sword swallower. It was riding a flaming pogo stick. The straw that broke the camel's back was heavy metal cookie monster or large man in diaper strip tease.* 2 stars

Robert Crumb: Despair *"You may not think it's funny, but I've got a morbid sense of humor."* close to 3 stars

"Power Instinct: Matrimelee" (Atlus) --Neo Geo-- *The creepy family members, from "Groove On Fight," are back. This time they're fighting it out, on a televised American Idol type stage, Jerry Springer style. The prize is a hand in marriage. Given its pedigree, and Japanese setting, it's weird as fuck, yet very surprisingly charming.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Kill Or Be Killed" (1980) *Our villain: an escaped Nazi seeking vague revenge by hosting a "Enter the Dragon" type death tournament. Our hero: a mullet-headed, shirtless, karate badass in a tight pair of bell-bottom jeans. He's out to save his girlfriend from the Nazi. Our wildcard: a Game of Thrones type scheming dwarf helping out our karate hero. Our story: pure grindhouse chop sockey cinema.* close to 3 stars

"Rabbit" (Sega Saturn) *Presentation of this game is nice. It reminds me of the new HD Rayman games' colorful eye candy and whimsy joined together with a clever Cartoon Network cartoon like Regular Show or Adventure Time. The fighters each have a beast or spirit animal. It reminds me of sports fanatics and their team mascots. If so many animals weren't endangered, sports fans would be worse than an old school Ruskie with a dancing bear. There would be a stadium full of Eagles fans each with their own personal bald eagle to show off. Dolphins fans would have a kids swimming pool, in the living room beneath the big screen, sporting a live dolphin who they'd feed anchovies off of their pizza to. Another thing about these fighting games, why are all the people in the background so unaffected by the brawls? They're always nicely eating a bowl of noodles in an outdoor cafe or riding a bicycle with a monkey or.....* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Waku Waku 7" (Sunsoft) -1996- *While watching lemmings hop around musically, on this game, I had an epiphany. Fellas we are never gonna get around to building those war robots out of our spare lawnmower and washing machine parts. Ladies, our obese house cats aren't gonna magically start talking and giving us humorous life advice to share on social media. Don't fret, we'll always have the Japanese to create our crazy dreams. That is unless a giant, radiated salamander, with a taste for human sushi, crawls up on the sands of some south Pacific beach.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Streets of Rage 3" (SEGA) *It's a typical beat 'em up story. The evil Mr. X is controlling the city with his band of street punks. Our heroes: Dr. Zan (the bald fu-manchu sporting head of a martial arts sensei badass on top of a cyborg body riding around on rocket skates), this ninja chick in a short minskirt, a blonde Ken Masters look-a-like kung fu street fighter, and a token 90s black kid who loves basketball so much he won't put down his b'ball. They have to battle through wave after wave of mercs and pick up turkey dinner power ups.* 2 1/2 stars

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst --------

Russian Terminator: *"that's what friends ARE! for" also an Anna Nicole look-a-like, a Kenny Rogers look-a-like, and a ninja.* 2 very awkward stars

Ninja Vengeance: *"Ninja" (a horrible one) John Tesh look-a-like on the run from the Klan in the backwoods of a hicksploitation town.* 1 1/2 stars

Never Too Young To Die: *Heart-throb John Stamos, sexy "Vanity" who's a Prince protege, and chick with a dick Gene Simmons is the rockstar who plays the over the top villain.* 2 stars

Red Letter Media ranks them best to worst as Russian T., Never Too Y., and Ninja V.*

---------------------------------

Freddy Krueger in "Mortal Kombat" (2011) *Freddy mocked the rising popularity of video games in "Freddy's Dead." Two decades later, he returns to the mockery. Released a couple years after the toothless remake, this tongueless appearance by Freddy is sorely missing Robert Englund's macabre wordplay.* 1 1/2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Identity Crisis ----

*Jeff Conaway, and the sheriff from Friday the 13th: Part 6, give this episode a level of Tales from the Crypt "star power." The story is the 'Family Ties' zeitgeist of the its time period. The spirit of the 60s (hippies) versus the spirit of the 80s (yuppies).* close to 3 stars

*Teenage pound puppies. Emo pound puppies.* 1 1/2 stars for most of the episode 2 1/2 stars for the Freddy dreamhouse sequences

---------------------------

Forensic Files: Postal Mortem *Radioshack enthusiast who's a 'Hercules Bullseye Bomber' and master forger of Mormon historical documents.* 2 1/2 stars

Wizards and Warriors: Skies of Death *Doomsday cannon on the cliffs of doom.* 3 stars

Attack On Titan: Episode 2 *Giving a new meaning to "in your face." A term that I don't care for, but here it comes to represent humongous, naked, grinning humans stomping up in one's personal space to chow down on that person like a corndog. The emotions of the kids, and the dread of the situation for them, keeps everything from getting too out of hand as a spectacle.* 3 stars

The Cinema Snob: The Pierre Kirby Saga *A more-than-competent action badass from a handful of less-than-competent Hong Kong action exploitation "movies."* 3 stars for Snob's retrospect and close to 2 stars for the "movies"

Look Around You: Iron *Point point zero point, ring the bell and the experiment can begin within the twinkling of an eye that is hidden behind a metal face shackle.* 2 1/2 stars

VH1 Classics --- Pop Up Video --- (The Big 80's) -------

a-ha - "Take On Me": Few Americans stuck around to notice that this internationally popular Swedish band lasted long after their early 1980s one hit wonder and only broke up after the 1994 Winter Olypics in which they were featured European band.* 3 plus stars for the pop ups and 3 classic MTV stars for the original video

Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield": 30 year old Pat portrayed a 16 year old runaway "too controversial for MTV prostitute" in this video.* 3 plus stars with pop ups and close to 3 stars MTV classic without

John Cougar - "Jack & Diane": One guy lived in a coma for 37 years. He wasn't doing a lot of handclapping and air drumming like Johnny Cougar was doing in this video.* 3 stars with pop ups between 2 1/2 and 3 stars without

Lionel Richie - "Hello": Lionel loves for all of his video vixens to have the same hairstyle as he does.* 3 stars with pop ups 2 1/2 stars, cheesy stars, without pop ups

Van Halen - "Hot For Teacher": This unruly music video caused the child stars to eventually become unruly like the real life Van Halen.* 3 plus stars with pop ups 3 sleazy stars without pop ups

--------------------------

Viper: Mind Games *A sleeper saboteur, a vixen viper, and a truckload of disease.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Twisted Tales #10 ----------------- (Bruce Jones, Bernie Wrightson, Bill Wray, Rick Geary)

Beer: A story of ribbing greenhorns up where the tree-line ends and the green turns to white snowy mountains, and there be yeti's who drive a hard bargain and a sled.* 3 stars

One For The Money: A cat-burglar gets caught and commits murder. He assumes a bear-suit disguise and flees to the woods where he gets gunned down by hunters.* 2 1/2 stars

Hatchet Job: Scientists go back and time and bumble trying to solve the Lizzie Borden murders. ha.* 2 1/2 stars

Two For The Show: A retelling of the earlier cat-burglar tale. This time the party guest kills the intruder, then takes the jewels for himself. Instead of getting shot by a pair of hunters, he gets mauled by a mother grizzly bear. The irony.* close to 3 stars

A haggard man buys a bed from a used store for his sick daughter to rest on her deathbed as she gets out of the hospital. That night, he's visited by the ghost of a girl haunting the bed that died in it, years earlier, in a torn down orphanage fire.* 3 stars, I guess...

Poison in the Pantry: A miserable and mistreated wife and stepmother puts rat poison in the family's soup. She dreams of even better days, from behind bars.* 3 stars

-------------------------------

Hill Street Blues: Life. Death. Eternity... *Etcetera.* 3 stars

X Files: Tooms *Skinner, the Smoking Man, and one of the best "monster" villains ever on the show.* 3 stars

Twitch City: I'm Fat and I'm Proud *Every episode of every tv show ever on tape. And almost everything else a slacker could ever want, for all seasons, except love? And the ability to exit comfortably into society.* 3 stars

Real Pulp Comics #1 *Perverse and humorous tales of skid row lowlifestyle in the babyboom generation's peak.* 2 1/2 stars

Max Headroom: Neurostim *Football, Fast-Food, Fantasy. counter-Fucking-revolutionary.* 3 stars

Farscape: Nerve *Infiltrating a Peacekeeper base, and meeting the Peacekeeper's Darth Vader (Scorpius).* 3 stars

Look Around You: Brain *"Pretty smart for something that looks like a common garden cauliflower."* close 3 stars

Forensic Files: Micro Clues *Tiny communities of freshwater creatures ring out truth and justice from the lungs of a drowned boy of a Swiss village.* 2 stars

Kingdom Hospital: Season 1 Episode 10 *Call the doctor, call the nurse, these guys (King and Lars) are goofy and getting worse.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

---Animal Planet--- I Was Bitten: The Walker County Incident *"Animal Planet, surprisingly human." Unsurprisingly stupid. Far more entertaining than the usual (Finding Bigfoot) cryptozoology reality tv whore idiots. Points for the twist ending prank gotcha moment.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

======= Trash TV ---- Seasons Finale ------ Marathon ===================

Forensic Files: Something's Fishy *The cyanide tainted Excederin pain reliever panic of the early 90s.* 2 1/2 stars

Forensic Files: Sealed With A Kiss *Psycho teacher stalks herself and then frames a rival faculty member.* close to 3 stars

Forensic Files: Deadly Parasites *Shit leaked into Lake Michigan contaminates the Milwaukee water supply and kills over a hundred people.* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story --- Murder House: Afterbirth *The "Murder House" is back on the market at a reduced prices. Also, ghosts can slit other ghosts' throats and they bleed ghost blood. Who knew? They even like to celebrate the season of giving (Christmas) with all the trimmings of the living.* either 1 star or 3 stars for a balls out finale

American Horror Story --- Asylum: Madness Ends *Lana Winters (the reporter from AHS: Asylum) is no Edison Carter (the reporter from Max Headroom). And so concludes this chapter of American Melodrama. Horror's end is supposed to be wrapped up in neat little bows of tenderness... EH? No? Ok.* 2 1/2 stars, I guess

American Horror Story --- Coven: Go To Hell *"I made you die those little deaths." Hell is a fried chicken shack. Ghosts need passports for travel. Who knew? Paula Deen isn't really sorry. She's just sorry that she was caught.* close to 3 stars

American Horror Story --- Coven: The Seven Wonders

*Welcome to the World Series of witchcraft. Let the Harry Potter games begin.

I especially got a chuckle out of the girls just wanna have fun teleportation game of tag that happened right after the hippie witch got stuck in her own personal "8th grade biology dissection of a frog" hell.

It would seem like black humor, but I think it's not meant to be. It's just poor writing.

Take for instance how the redheaded hag/nag says that the new supreme witch can't have a "Whitewater scandal" to be a blemish on her new leadership.

So, she demands to be burned alive in the most soap opera dramatic and laughable way possible to the Stevie Nicks music that's playing throughout the show (the show even begins like a Stevie Nicks music video. *rolls eyes*).

Since the new Coven is going public (kind of like a corporation joining the New York Stock exchange and opening all their books up, or whatever), one would think that committing an act of murder (the witch burning) might somehow leak out and be frowned upon eventually leading to scandal.  

Anyway, that aside, "The Axe Man" and "Fiona" carry the show with their charisma and moody moments together, as usual.

We get another feel good ending, for some reason, because that's horror, according to the producers of this show and the Fox musical GLEE.

Why are these guys pretending to do horror?

I did appreciate Fiona's return from the dead, before dying again (Ha), reminding me of Interview With A Vampire's scene where Tom Cruise crawls out of the swamp after being gatorbait left for dead by his gloomy boyfriend and porcelain doll daughter.

Also, in closing, Fiona's version of hell was quite fitting and moody compared to the pretentious and childish versions of hell for all the other characters.

For example; the annoying good teenager chick's hell beat out the annoying bad teenager chick's hell for level of awfulness.

And that was an accomplishment.

The bad chick's hell was being stuck on a Hollywood musical that she didn't like. *Snot*

The good chick's hell was having her James Dean wannabe boyfriend breaking up with her every day. *Vomit*

I guess hell is happening here on earth for every emo 16 year old all the time.

I have already wasted too many words on most of this pile stinky fish guts.*

running from around 1 1/2 stars a lot of the time up to 2 1/2 stars at different moments

==========================================================================

"Sacred Cow Halloween Special" circa 1993 (All Hallow's Eve? Why not? It's June) *Early 1990s public access tv special featuring a lot of low-fi indie music videos from bands who don't give a shit and live call in guests to the hosts and Bill Hicks in hell. Plus the legend, Bill Hicks, pulls out the home video footage of where he stood in the neighboring cow pasture, and ranted about the government, while Janet Reno rolled tanks with flamethrowers through the walls of a crazy cult so that they could charbroil children. Yep, have a happy trick r' Summer treat and roast in the heat.* more than 2 1/2 stars

"Beyond Belief" =================================

*Early 90s Nickelodeon took time to educate kids, where modern Nick tries to sell them tweeny bopper pop star insipid kid sitcoms.

Stories here include:

The City of the Dead that lies beneath Paris.

History lesson about how the Greeks burned half the Roman, enemy, fleet using solar energized shields.

Sadly poetic tale of The Elephant Man and his time in a London hospital.

Important message about conservation and protecting endangered animals. "Don't cut down the rainforest." Man, I have fond memories of "earth friendly" science lessons during my childhood school years. A really hopeful, positive time.

We visit the Cabaret Mechanical Theater featuring robotic dolls & toys (creepy and cool).

Some funny laws, around the world, are discussed like the illegal carrying of ice cream cones in your pocket in Kentucky and so on.

Cursed opera causes God to smite anyone the opera singer looks at while singing, "Oh, God smash him!"

We meet a 17 year old autistic genius artist who can draw any London monument or building. Autism was still misunderstood, greatly, during this time.

A visit to an old magician's backyard where he displays to us a new, old trick.

Finally, it's a history lesson about Westerners reluctance at first and then being sold on the idea and practice of embalming the corpses of their loved ones for funeral display.

Great stuff.

-Classic commercials include:

Scram Ball, "the hot new game."

Bubble tape, the bubble gum that's hard for grandma to eat.

Murray mountain bikes are so rugged that they can help a 10 year old outrun his 16 year old bro's pickup truck on rocky terrain.

A Fresh Prince of Bel'Air kid is tired of being told "no" so he eats Raisin Bran for some reason....

A gang of 90s tv kids have a video cam corder scavenger hunt thanks to McDonalds.*

close to 3 stars

=======================================================

Police Squad: A Substantial Gift (WLS7-Chicago) 3 - 4 - 1982 =============

*First we get a commercial for a home electronics and appliance store. Man, the 70s and early 80s had such an ugly color decor thing going on. Putrid greens, tans, yellows, and dingy greys going on everything from fridges to stoves to dishwashers to carpet to vaccuumcleaners. Some nice pics of walls of the very popular, at the time, ghetto blaster boom boxes (nice).

 "Blast From The Past," Saturday at 6:30 featuring a dapper dude brushing his wavy hair and a go go chick hula hooping. The 80s were really nostalgic for the 50s.

And, now with a flashing red siren we're told we'll be watching Police Squad "In Color."  The show starts out with a woman who's being stuck for cash by a crooked orthodonist. Ha. She kills her loan clerk boyfriend and frames a poor sap trying to get the loan in a double homicide.

A hazy looking Loren cosmetics commercial

followed by a movie trailer for the insipid Oscar bait movie "On Golden Pond."

Leslie Nielsen shows up to the crime, knocking over trash cans with his cop car. Funny sight gag of the meat wagon boys taking out an extra, extra long body on an extra, extra long stretcher. They find a way to work in the old type "Who's on first!?" joke to her formal statement of the crime.

The forensic lab guy is a wacko.

A visit to the victim's wife, and Nielsen rambles on about himself (ha) during her grief.

The killer dame shows up to give her official statement looking like an obvious fink in a new fur coat and feathered boa.

We get a funny scene where one cop's so tall his head is off camera.

"Crisp and clean" "No Caffeine" "Never had it, never will." "Feelin' up with 7 'Up."

A pretty model girl walks around fields of amber grains waving while sporting a "Cover Girl Face."

 Benson & Open All Night are part of the ABC Friday Night line up.

Lieutenant Nielsen re-enacts the crime by actually shoothing his fellow officers, leaving a pile of bodies while he ponders the crime. Ha.

Cops and Priests (What do you know about life after death? *hands over a 20$*) seek confidential information from a shoe shine man.

Medieval orthodontist gear is highlighted via willingly happy kids wearing headgear. Leslie does some dental exam physical comedy.

Some oblivious cops sight gags in an elevator. Clever stuff.

Showdown with the dirty dame featuring bad wigs and a bullet filled Mexican standoff from a couple feet away from each other behind trash cans and a sidewalk bus bench. Bullhorn "Give it up!" warning from just as close a length.

New Aim mint is the talk of the whiteboy locker room..

Sexy as heck, and wet in a pool, Lynda Carter likes her lips "wet." Mmmmmm

Stay Tuned for Bossom Budies and "Night of 100 Stars"

Old school, syndicated television. Can't beat it.*

3 stars

=========================================================================

MTV's Ridiculousness with special guest Dr. Drew Pinsky *Normally this poor kid's America's Funniest Home Videos for skateboard wiggers, hosted by a skateboard wigger & his black friend & his airheaded blonde friend, would get zero stars for its unfunny commentary on outdated extreme sports accident videos and mishap/ prank videos.... but since quack pop-psychiatry tv celebrity "doctor" Drew is on here and giving insight into the social problems many of these fools, in these foolish videos, do happen to supposedly have... Well, it's more absurd and tolerable.* close to 2 stars

"Five Fingers Of Death" *It's the formula tale of bullies terrorizing a town, and the heroes finally standing up to them. It could be a western, an 80s surfing/ski resort movie, but here it's a Shaw brothers kung fu flick. Many hipsters will recognize the Kill Bill music that Tarantino stole from this film.* 3 stars

Tom Green's Subway Monkey Hour --2002-- *Tom Green will probably always be infamous for the terrible "Freddy Got Fingered," and he deserves it. This hour long MTV special featuring Tom being the weirdest Westerner possibly ever in Japan is way better than that awful Hollywood mistake of a "movie." In fact, it's a dozen times more interesting than the Jackass movies that borrow the skit after skit format of this special. Add an extra thirty minutes of footage from this trip to Japan, which I'm sure they had, and it would have been a better choice to be released in movie theaters instead of "Freddy Got Fingered."* close to 3 stars

Tales From The Crypt: Lover Come Hack To Me *Car trouble on a desolate road on the honeymoon night. The couple seeks shelter in an old-dark-house. There's a cozy fireplace with a big, medieval axe hanging above it. A storm is raging outside. The bride is a strange, little virgin. The groom is a sleazy bohunk acting surprised to have found a 45 magnum in his glove box. She wonders if he married her for the money (no surprise, he did). Bloody memories haunt the place same as their "romance." It's the perfect setting for mur-der (*Thunder & Lightning!*)...* 3 stars

Six Feet Under: The Will *Diving board death. Pyramid scheme. Backstreet Boy look-a-like douchey boyfriend. Meeting of gay firemen. Breaking up with Ed Begley Jr. Blackmail from beyond the grave. Selling a slightly used coffin at a discount rate. Burning someone's name into your flesh. Buyout offer. Emotional breakdown on the bus that killed the father. Toe suck.* close to 3 stars

100 Bullets: The Counterfifth Detective (Vertigo Comics) *Piano bar without a piano player. A private dick wrapped up like the Invisible Man. Stolen art with codes from one's past. A damaging echo.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

Justified: Season 1 Episode 5 *The cowboy's pa is an outlaw.* 3 stars

American Gothic: Resurrector *Going away presents for a ghost and a sacrifice to the devil.* close to 3 stars

Kung Fu: Nine Lives *"Find a cat or be a tramp all your life." "Dark and vain are the ways of lust, the poet said." or something of that nature...* 3 stars

"Master of the Flying Guillotine" *A bloody martial arts tournament, where every fighter has a unique gimmick or style, is interrupted by a badass villain using his flying guillotine to pull the heads off of every one armed boxer that he finds until he gets his revenge. He finds out that he's not as badass as the real one armed boxer. This flick had to have had a huge influence on both Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat.* 3 stars

Doctor Who: The Satan Pit *A claustrophobic, high stakes sci fi story similar to The Thing, Leviathan, and Alien.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Horror Express" (Christopher Lee & Peter Cushing) *It's about time, some cryptozoology monster goodness. Finding Bigfoot type nonsense has almost killed the fun in this fantasy genre. It helps that this movie is Hammer horror style and has Lovecraftian-dread overtones.* 3 stars

Gerhard's America: Gerhard at NASCAR *Gerhard finds he has a lot in common with effeminate racer Michael Waltrip.* close to 2 1/2 stars

------ TV Carnage:

*A Lot Of Men Collect Barbie Dolls: "It's a professional hobby, now." Nothing weird, at all here.* 2 stars

*A Woman's Guide To Guns and Hallucinating: Learn about your weapon, instead of fantasizing about it.* close to 2 stars

*Aids = Hump Day Poison!: The 80s were all about high risk behavior.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Child Actor Failures: Are you being rigid enough or in some cases too rigid with your little gold-mine?* close to 3 stars

*Damn Shame: It's a shame that white boy thugs get gunned down every day. Call America's Most Wanted or Yo! MTV Raps with any info on the possible killer.* 2 1/2 stars

---------------------------------------

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Big Trouble In Little China

*Joe Bob pokes fun at the culture of addiction.

We learn about Carter Wong, the martial arts expert who stars in the movie. Amazing credits to his kung fu game.

Preview for TNT's new classic "The Golden Child" starring Eddie Murphy

quirky KIA suv car commercial from 1998 featuring cliche gator hunting / swamp loving Cajuns who'd be the type in reality shows more than a decade later. It's funny here, sort of, but tiresome if you live in this era of bad reality tv "real folk" like this.

preview for Jacki Chan's "Rumble in the Bronx" and its American cable tv debut on TNT

a yuppy mom tries to stuff a pizza into her toaster, but doesn't have to anymore because some processed junk food company invented toaster pizza snacks. "White lady/mom problems"

Kim Cattral is gorgeous, in this movie, and not an old whore who'd make you swear off women like she would after her Sex in the City days

SNL's Weekend Update anchor Kevin Nealon sells out for a collect call "so 90s it hurts" advertisement. One good thing about cell phones is that these ads disappeared

Joe Bob's Drive In Totals for this flick: 57 dead bodies... One kidnapping... Four motor vehicle chases... One wheelchair chase... One White-Slavery Ring... Yellow-Slavery Ring... One Machine Gun Massacre... One Machete Battle... Multiple Blue Finger-Flame... One Zombie-fied Levitating 2,000-Year-Old Man With Really Bad Fingernails... Exploding Building...Exploding Temple... Knife To The Forehead... One Ocean of Chained Skeletons... One Palace Of Golden Buddhas... Poison Gas... Nine Kung Fu Scenes...

Racquelle Welch in One Million BC, another drive in classic, next week on Monstervision

Some Hollywood stunt-men cowboys beat the shit out of each other for a Pontiac "Montana" minivan. Sure, why not?

Soulful 70s singer-songwriter Aflac family insurance ad, family station wagon Tru Value helpful employee kidnapping ad, Home Depot helpful employees..., some bruthas turn a stranger's need for directions into a roadtrip down the road for some McDonalds.... 90s commercials tried to be really feel good, but come off very insipid

"Tired of Phony Psychics?" Generic graphics of lightning strikes and huge yellow background typed letters plus a doe eyed weirdo lady claiming to have certified psychics for her phone network.... "Guaranteed Authentic by the U.S. Govt." HAAAA.... wow! what a claim!

Joe Bob pines about how there aren't perfect women in the world, and how guys give up women over nail color, comparing it to the plot of the movie being about the search for a perfect, green eyed Chinese chick

Then, Joe Bob skewers the politically correct critics, of this movie, who said that Big Trouble re-enforced Asian stereotypes.

Kitschy style Miller Lite commercial where four old ladies try to contact the spirit of one lady's dead husband. He's a slab, of course, and comes back to life, possessing the body of one of her friends, raiding the fridge for beer and scratching his (her) ass. She's overjoyed.

Kellog's Breakfast Mates... A commercial that's basically saying, "Let corporate America continue to "raise" your children." It's convenient.

Joe Bob teaches us about Kurt Russell's ties to Elvis and Disney and John Carpenter

TNT updates its Monstervision website "once a week." Current people and websites, of the internet(s), update every second of the day. Waiting a week for something new is almost as painful as the information (nonsense) overload of right now.

Dennis Miller is in line at a hipster coffe shop complaining about the price of "a cup of Joe" and the price of collect calls. If he sounds like a cranky and out of touch old man here, wait til a decade later where he's rambling incoherently to his best pal Mr.Bill O'Reilly on Fox News.

Two 90s alterna-chicks having a conversation: "One day we'll meet, marry, and have cyber sex with the man of our dreams online." Robert Englud cameo in Dee Snider's Strangeland

Joe Bob points out that there's a "not so incognito" Penthouse Pet in this flick

TNT Mail Girl Reno gets asked to how much it would take to "get nekkid" by Joe Bob, and then he reads an angry letter from an upset liberal who loves freedom so much that he wants to ban free speech that he doesn't like by calling it "hatred." Ha. Joe Bob made a joke about "killing liberals" or something and this guy got his feelings hurt. Boo hoo.

Joe Bob rips TNT a new asshole for taking an awful commercial break, featuring about 14 insipid 90s "feel good" commercials, during the EPIC kung fu finale. Being on TNT, and not too late in the night unlike TNT's 100% Weird, Monstervision suffered some really lame commercials. USA UP All Night usually had more lame B movies instead of good B movies, yet they featured a lot more entertaining and sleazy commercials compared to Monstervision Other, late night basic cable and UHF B movies had better commercials than TNT as well. Fucking TNT. So schmaltzy and sickening. You watch a weird, late night movie, you want weird late night commercials, and you want them not to interrupt the best part of the movie. You don't want a great kung fu scene stopped to have five minutes of sepia toned artsy cinematography of elderly couples slow dancing in the shadow of the Brooklyn bridge while romantic piano music plays and there's a warm feeling about life insurance or some crap.

Roll Credits.*

3 stars for Big Trouble (For fun and memorable characters, it's to the 80s what A New Hope was to the 70s) 3 stars for Joe Bob and 1 star for TNT's bullstuff

---------------------------------------------------------------------

--- Found Footage Fest:

*Caught In The Web, Staying Safe in Cyberspace: Surfin' with a cyber sleuth and stopping smut and sickos both online and in the real world. If any of this is actually real.* close to 3 stars

*Check It Out _ Acne Video: "Hip" teen talk show infomercial about bogus zits.* 2 1/2 stars

*Chef Keith _ Fake Chef Pranks Morning TV Shows: You can make one of those creepy smiling talking head news morning show hosts believe that "The average person eats around a pound and a half of feces a year." HA! Most of the feces comes from morning talks shows.* 3 stars

*Christian Rock Video Showdown: We're all a wiener slash loser with these bands that are a even more soft rock cross between Journey, Foreigner, Kenny Loggins, and a hairy butt.* close to 3 stars

*John and Johnny and Earrings: Homeshopping host is giddy about seashell earrings.* close to 2 stars

--------------------------------

Fargo: The Six Ungraspables *There are no saints in the animal kingdom, only breakfast... lunch.. and dinner.* 3 stars

Gerhard Reinke's America: Gerhard Reinke in Burlington, Vermont *Home of laidback liberals and Lochness lizards.* 2 1/2 stars

Vanity Fair, Confidential: Mad About the Boys *Lou Pearlman loved to hear singing from voices that hadn't yet gone through puberty. He also loved hot air balloons and ponzi schemes. No surprise that the super-rich sponsor of a creepy cult of child entertainers was not-so-secretly a pig-man spawn of Satan himself.* 2 1/2 stars

X Files: Born Again *Mustache'd cop working Chinatown. He gets killed by some shady colleagues. Years later, he returns as a very gloomy little-girl with special powers and vengeance on her(his) mind.* close to 3 stars

The Prisoner: Checkmate *On a wing and a prayer and unfortunately an air of authority.* 3 stars

----- TV Carnage:

*Dr. Drew and MTV Got Cold Feet: Could be worse. Could be dead like Corey Haim and his girlfriend. Killed by Brigette Nielsen, Stallone and Flava Flav's ex.* close to 2 stars

*TV Carnage: Dixie Carter Death Trip: Designing women to be strangely obnoxious.* 2 stars

*Even His Scream Is Bad Acting: Bohunk (Dumb goodlooking American guy. Not the dictionary definition which insults someone from Europe.) slasher victim.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Give Head Responsibly: Consult your doctor before giving or receiving.* 2 1/2 stars

*God Gives A Second Chance To Anyone. It's In His Book: Especially to those with a Pat Boone singing style and a new book coming out about second chances.* close to 2 1/2 stars

-----------------------------------------

Hannibal: Sorbet *Hannibal has a stalker/fan/wannabe BFF who compares him to Michael Jackson. Meanwhile, Hannibal keeps recipes of people on their business cards.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Look Around You: Music (season 2) *The show's format has completely changed to an in studio info / variety presentation, and while it's no longer the mock science docu-series that it started out as, it's still silly and clever. Plus, it's longer at a half hour.* 2 1/2 stars

Game of Thrones: Season 3 Episode 9 *This show is good and shockingly heavy, as usual, but I watch it in a way that would more than frustrate diehard fans. I'm seasons behind where everyone else is, and I have no concern as to when I see the next chapter.* 3 stars

Shaw Brothers: Executioners from Shaolin *At the heart of this movie is a dysfunctional kung fu family. On the wedding night, the groom can't get the bride's legs open because her crane style is too strong. Mother teaches son crane style kung fu and they playfully use it even when she's trying to wash the family's clothes. Dad can't even sit down to a good meal, because son wants to test dad's tiger style kung fu.* 3 stars

[writingscififantasy]

Science Fiction Subgenres from A to N

So, to start this blog off with something fun, I thought I’d do a series of big ol’ masterlists covering sci-fi and fantasy subgenres!  There is a heckin’ large amount of them, so I’ve split it up into four sections with about five or six posts- this one right here is for, you guessed it, science fiction, from A to N.  *cue distant cheering*

First up, a little recap:

Science Fiction: This can be considered a difficult genre to define, simply because it can encompass nearly anything- but the best definition I’ve heard is that it’s “the literature of change”, particularly in areas of scientific advancement and technological growth.  According to Wikipedia, this is a genre of speculative fiction “typically dealing with imaginative concepts such as futuristic science and technology, space travel, time travel, faster than light travel, parallel universes, and extraterrestrial life.” (x)  Science fiction generally encompasses imaginary worlds and universes bound to laws of physics (although not necessarily the laws we know of or follow) that are advanced in some way by science and technology, and experiencing some form of change because of that.  To put it very simply, science fiction can be viewed as fiction based upon science.  Science fiction tends to evoke thoughts of aliens, spaceships, robots, AI, new planets, futuristic cities, flying cars, high-tech things made of shiny metals, lightsabers and phasers, environmental sustainability, and far-future social themes.  Examples include Dune (Dune series) by Frank Herbert, The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor, The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley, 1984 by George Orwell, Leviathan Wakes (The Expanse series) by James A. Corey, Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee, and Parable of the Sower (Parable series) by Octavia E. Butler.

With that refresher in mind, let’s begin!  (I’d apologize for the word count, but we’re all nerdy writers here.)

Apocalyptic Sci-Fi: Ah, one of the favorites for anybody who enjoys good ol’ destruction and chaos in their books.  This subgenre is characterized by a cataclysmic event occurring that wipes out the vast majority of the human population, often with extensive destruction across the globe.

Common tropes for this include alien invasions, environmental disasters (oooh, one of my favorites- things such as catastrophic climate change), plagues or viruses (bioweapons and bioengineering, including the “zombie” virus as one of the current most popular- who doesn’t love zombies), the technological singularity or failure (the “robot uprising” vs. a worldwide EMP), astronomical events such as meteors, super-flares, or radiation bursts, supernatural events (demonic war, the Four Horsemen on Earth, vampires or other monsters), etc.  

Apocalyptic sci-fi goes hand in hand with post-apocalyptic sci-fi, but the former can be set apart from its counterpart in that it takes place during the exact time of the “apocalyptic” event- however, keep in mind that most books, even if they show the apocalyptic event in the beginning, tend to shift towards post-apocalyptic as the characters learn to survive in the aftermath.  Finding something that is solely an apocalyptic sci-fi novel is rare, and I will admit I had some trouble with it.  

This subgenre is often used to show human nature in chaotic times (how people panic, the “sheep” effect, mass hysteria, how individuals respond to their impending demise), as well as portray extreme destruction of cities and civilization, exemplify survival tactics, and use the setting as a source of action, drama, suspense, plot twists, and personal growth for characters as they act and react to their rapidly changing and dangerous world.

Examples: Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer (astronomical event, meteor strikes moon), The Stand by Stephen King (bioengineered virus and supernatural events), Seveneves by Neal Stephenson (astronomical event, moon is destroyed), Robopocalypse by Daniel H. Wilson (technological singularity, robot uprising), Ashfall by Mike Mullin (environmental disaster, supervolcanic eruption), The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey (alien invasion, environmental disaster, technological failure, and a deadly plague, for all your apocalyptic needs)

Note: Although not books, I also like to include the movies 2012, The Day After Tomorrow, World War Z, and Independence Day.

“Dying Earth”: If I’m being honest, this is probably the most depressing science fiction subgenre- probably even more so than the related-but-not-quite-the-same apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic subgenres- so thank goodness it’s fairly small.  Given the name from the series of works (aptly titled “The Dying Earth”) by Jack Vance which portrayed our Earth, millennia from now, as an exhausted, dying world orbiting an equally exhausted, dying star, the “Dying Earth” subgenre embodies themes of bone-deep exhaustion, depletion of planetary resources, innocence and idealism and (potentially) the loss of both, and The End of Time/Earth/The Universe.  

Common tropes include Earth or other planets physically dying (from the aforementioned resource depletion, going sterile, the sun burning out, being too old), stars burning out/going supernova and dying, laws of the universe failing as it dies, and species falling to extinction (from their planet/sun dying, out of apathy or exhaustion or physical/emotional/spiritual weariness, etc).  The subgenre as a whole can pretty much be summed up as “melancholic”.  

Although it also shows an end-of-the-world scenario, this subgenre differs from simple “apocalyptic events” and the related subgenres by virtue of not having anything so dramatic- instead, it simply shows the world as it winds down into a slow death.  

But wait- perhaps it’s not entirely depressing!  Some works in this subgenre also employ themes of hope and renewal, and the “Dying Earth” subgenre is often used to show optimism in the face of death, human endurance, looking forward to the unknown, and future promise.  Thankfully, it’s not all about the “entropic exhaustion of the Earth” and the fading of “the current comprehensible state of the universe”- talk about a bummer.  

Examples: The Dying Earth (series) by Jack Vance (the books that gave the subgenre its name), The Time Machine by H. G. Wells, City at the End of Time by Greg Bear, Dying of the Light by George R. R. Martin, certain stories in Sunfall (anthology) by C. J. Cherryh, Earthchild by Doris Piserchia (interestingly enough, I haven’t found anything in this subgenre over the past 10 years or so)

Note: Outside of books, the comic series Low by Rick Remender and the video game Dark Souls can be included in the subgenre.  Movies such as Reign of Fire, I Am Legend, The World, the Flesh, and the Devil, and The Quiet Earth could be considered vaguely “Dying Earth”, although they really don’t capture the melancholic, tired aspects that the subgenre embodies, and the endings distinctly lead away from the subgenre.

“Edisonade”: This one’s kind of short, because not only is it really small and generally unheard of, it’s also pretty old- old enough to be primarily from the time of “all sci-fi writers were men” and everything was written to appeal to the male gaze.  Basically, it’s a subgenre that includes stories about a character who is “a brilliant young inventor” in the ways of Thomas Edison, as they use their invention(s) to save their nation, save their love interest, defeat the villain, and presumably get rich and live prosperously as a quirky inventor forevermore.  

Although it is, at its core, something that could be very interesting to write and read- who doesn’t want to write about brilliant inventors?- the fact of the matter is that all the books in this subgenre tend towards a teenage/young man being the inventor, and saving the girl, and defeating the villain (normally foreigners, evil scientists, or aliens).  At the time that stories in this subgenre were written, a lot of them (not all!) reflected nationalistic, misogynistic, and generally racist views and tended to feature things like widespread colonization, exploration of parts of the world with “untamed lands and peoples”, and self-insert characters for boys to relate with on the premise of superiority and “saving the day”.  

The good part?  The “Edisonade” subgenre tends to be progressive in the ways of science, technology, and engineering, and it can be somewhat related to steampunk.  Other than that...the subgenre itself needs a bit of a reboot, so to speak.  Any takers?

Examples: The Steam Man of the Prairies by Edward S. Ellis, Tom Edison, Jr.(series) by Philip Reade, Tom Swift (series) by Victor Appleton

Hard Sci-Fi: And so we come to one of the ongoing debates amongst sci-fi communities- “hard” science fiction versus “soft” science fiction.  Hard sci-fi can be defined in a number of ways, and that has caused quite some controversy over the years- but the general consensus is that hard sci-fi is generally a subgenre of science fiction that depends upon more science, as well as greater scientific accuracy and explanation in its novels.

Novels in this subgenre are generally characterized by a large amount of science to go with the fiction- the “science and technology parts of science fiction are featured front and center, the scientific concepts are founded upon legitimacy, research, and lots of explanation, and the stories are more realistic and heavy.  

Here’s where some controversy comes in- sometimes a novel is “science-y” like that, but it’s primarily left in the background of the story, so it could be considered “soft” sci-fi.  

Also, many “hard” sci-fi works tend to focus on STEM-like areas (engineering, math, formal sciences like physics), or assume that the natural sciences (biology, environmental science, geology, etc) make a sci-fi story inherently “soft”.  

Sometimes, technology is left almost entirely in the background of a sci-fi story, with those natural sciences featuring more.  

Other times, the science that the novel is based upon proves to be faulty, or something is incorrect, or some of it is just plain implausible.  See the dilemmas?  

Anyways, here I am simply defining “hard sci-fi” as science fiction writing that focuses more on the scientific and technological aspects of a story, with an emphasis on legitimate scientific concepts, research, theories, and fact, and that incorporates much of those ideals into the writing and story itself (as plots, background, etc).  

Common tropes in this subgenre include hypothetical, explained logistics for futuristic technologies (faster-than-light travel, terraforming, spaceships, space habitats, etc), more realistic-looking tech, sometimes at the expense of being “less pretty” (spaceships that aren’t made of shiny stuff and still cause pollution, for instance, or spacesuits that look more like spacesuits rather than trendy plastic-wrap), and sometimes a lot of lengthy explanations within the story that you have to read a few times to really understand or some words you have to look up (keep a dictionary with you for some of these books, I mean, wow).  

This subgenre is often meant to show how the future could be soon, to show science fiction in a less out-there, more relatable light, appeal to more literal-minded people who desire scientific fact in their fiction or plots based upon legitimacy, explain the fundamentals of a story without “hand-waving”, and to explore far-future ideals, sciences, and technologies while remaining within the realms of current possibility.  

When done without a certain sense of grace, timing, and ability for relating lengthy expositions of science to plot, character, and setting, “hard” sci-fi can be difficult and overwhelming to read, occasionally preachy if the author tries to explain too much, and generally drag on.  However, when done well, “hard” sci-fi is a wonderful creation, something that teaches its readers, explores the world through the lenses of science, and portrays science as a general positive thing (something we all need in this world). 

Examples: Leviathan Wakes (The Expanse series) by James S. A. Corey, Ancillary Justice (Imperial Radch series) by Ann Leckie, The Martian by Andy Weir, Ringworld (series) by Larry Niven, vN by Madeline Ashby, Up Against It by M. J. Locke, Diaspora by Greg Egan, Remnant Population by Elizabeth Moon, A Door Into Ocean (Elysium series) by Joan Slonczewski, Downbelow Station (The Company Wars series) by C. J. Cherryh, The Bohr Maker (the Nanotech Succession series) by Linda Nagata, Lilith’s Brood (Xenogenesis Trilogy: Dawn, Adulthood Rites, Imago) by Octavia E. Butler

“Lost Worlds”: A lesser known subgenre, “Lost Worlds” is characterized by the discovery of a new “world” (i.e, planet, galaxy, continent) that is “out of time, place, or both”- meaning that the world is generally untouched by anything other than native flora and fauna, or that the civilizations there have never been seen before and were isolated from everyone else, or that the remnants of a civilization have been found there.  This subgenre came into popularity when people started finding actual remnants of previous civilizations- the Mayan temples, Egyptian tombs, etc- and began speculating about it and using it for fictional purposes.

Common tropes in this subgenre include, unfortunately, things like references to colonization and “a more advanced civilization meets a less advanced civilization”, in terms of technology/science/weapons.  On the positive side, tropes can also include exploration and travel throughout the world, survival tactics while within inhospitable lands, archaeological intrigue and findings, and good anthropological ideals where newcomers are curious and respectful of their cultures they come across, science fiction mixed with social sciences (anthropological science fiction is a subgenre that will come up in a later post!), and sometimes some pretty Star Trek-like stuff.  

Examples: Dinotopia (series) by James Gurney, The Lost World by Arthur Conan Doyle, Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne, Pym by Mat Johnson

Military Sci-Fi: This sci-fi subgenre is pretty self-explanatory- military sci-fi is characterized by a militarized setting, generally with characters within a military organization/army.  The sci-fi part tends to come along with the futuristic technologies being applied to weaponry, battleships, and military tech, and in that the settings of these battles, wars, or general military outposts tend to be in space (on a spaceship) or on a different planet.  Oftentimes the battle being waged is against alien species, or if it’s far enough in the future, it might be against other humans that are on a different planet/colony/outpost.  

Common tropes in this subgenre include political maneuverings amongst the higher-ups of this military or the people causing the war, characters that are soldiers and/or act out of interest in this war, (have military training, follow military orders, carry out missions, etc), war, fighting, and weaponry tactics discussed in the writing, traditional personality traits for military personnel (such as self-sacrifice, deep loyalty between soldiers, obedience and duty, bravery, and respect as well as disobeying orders to act in the interest of others), and spaceships taking the place of tanks, planes, or battleships of today.  

Military sci-fi can often overlap with the “space opera” genre- it speculates about the future and future wars, uses futuristic weaponry and ships, and is often large-scale in terms of the battle layouts and how/where the battle affects people and places.  

This subgenre is often used to show the political dynamics of a world or the future, how humans might react to meeting alien species (hopefully hostile, otherwise this subgenre would get pretty ugly), and how the military and corporations, government, and agendas expand into space.

Examples: Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee, Mechanical Failure (Epic Failure series) by Joe Zieja, Valor’s Choice (Confederation series) by Tanya Huff, Vatta’s War (series) by Elizabeth Moon, Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card, Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein, The Red by Linda Nagata, Unbreakable by W. C. Bauers, Terms of Enlistment (series) by Marko Kloos, War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells, Fortune’s Pawn by Rachel Bach

Mundane Sci-Fi: This subgenre can be a bit iffy, depending on how you view it.  Generally, it’s described as sci-fi that doesn’t use “high claims” such as faster-than-light travel or aliens, but rather focuses on down-to-Earth (literally) works that use only believable technology and science from the modern day.  Therefore, it’s considered an extension of hard sci-fi, but even more legitimized than that- where hard sci-fi can hypothesize about “high claims” of worm holes and interstellar travel while using a strong basis in science, mundane sci-fi drops that altogether and sticks only to what is known to be plausible. 

Common tropes in this subgenre include hard sci-fi principles, technologies and science based upon proven fact and areas of study existing today, and no speculative technologies.

This subgenre is, to me, something to be viewed both positively and negatively.  On one hand, mundane science fiction promotes the idea of focusing only on current science/technology, rather than speculating about things such as warp drives and spaceships and intergalactic communities, because thinking about such ideas leads to negligence of the current issues we- and the planet- already face.  That’s not a bad thing- focusing on current issues are definitely something that should be done, and ignoring them won’t help anyone- but the mundane sci-fi community also claims, in some areas, that science fiction as a whole should abandon the ideas of space travel and a lot of the typical themes because it’s wrong to speculate on such ideals and it’s “running away from the problem”.  Take that as you will- there’s been a bit of an argument, so to speak, on the matter.  

Overall, the subgenre of mundane sci-fi is meant to show current science and technology through a fictional lens, the effects of current events such as climate change, biotechnology, global politics, and advancing robotics, how the world is changing in the now, “reawaken” the sense of wonder people feel towards sci-fi in the context of Earth alone, and bring in high levels of characterization and plot that are inherently realistic.

Examples: Air by Geoff Ryman, Schismatrix by Bruce Sterling, The Beast with Nine Billion Feet by Anil Menon, The Hacker and the Ants by Rudy Rucker, Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson, Arctic Rising by Tobias S. Buckell

New Wave Sci-Fi: Also a social and cultural movement as well as a literary one, “new wave sci-fi” doesn’t have as much bearing today in terms of being written as often (in the same way as it was then, at the very least).  This subgenre came about in the 60′s and 70′s, and it’s characterized as being “advant-garde” and “experimental” in the context of literature and art- it was more focused on being new and exciting and unique rather than purely accurate, scientifically speaking.  However, this period of time is also what saw a large increase in science fiction in mainstream culture, as well as more writers and readers- the subject itself shifted to become more aware of things such as language, politics, subject matter, writing techniques, and futuristic ideals.  There’s quite a large historical movement there, which I could get into later, but for now I’m gonna stick with the literary stuff.

Common tropes in this subgenre (there are lots) include rejection of classic sci-fi ideals (the Antihero, for instance, came about in sci-fi as a rejection of the typical “science hero”), deconstruction of regular themes, rejection of typical plots and “happy” endings, blurred boundaries between science fiction and fantasy (science fantasy is a subgenre I’ll also get into later!), and high amounts of progressive ideals (this was in the 60′s and 70′s- free-love, equality, and inclusiveness was, and is, a major part of the writing in this subgenre.

Much of what science fiction is now is owed, at least in part, to the new wave literary movement for science fiction.  The genre was more open for women and minorities (to an extent), the stories more all-encompassing, the themes more substantial, dynamic, and fluid- overall, it helped set the course for a lot of what sci-fi is now.

Examples: Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delaney, The Forever War by Joe Haldeman, The Elric Saga (series) by Michael Moorcock, Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut, And Chaos Died by Joanna Russ, The Hieros Gamos of Sam and An Smith by Josephine Saxton, The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin

And that’s about it!  The next installment, “Science Fiction Subgenres from P to Z”, should be up in a day or two- after that, I’ll be moving onto Fantasy Subgenres (the Part 2 of the series).  I’ll start adding links as I write them- in the meantime, feel free to send me questions or thoughts about these subgenres and anything else!

Parting thoughts- are any of these subgenres completely new to you?  Can you think of any other novels in any of them?  Does your writing fall under any of these subgenres?

[chiauve]

Algernon - Day 8

           It didn't seem to matter what you were made of, metal, polymers, bone, flesh, if you lay on one side of your face on a hard surface long enough it would start to hurt. Really bad. Compound that pain on top of the fact Jet still had a bleeding hole in his mouth, a dislocated jaw, and now a nice bruise where his asshole of an assailant dropped him, and Jet was more than happy to keep blacking out.

           That and the man kept ranting at him, about how much Jet had cost, about while labeled as damaged he'd been advertised as a secret government robot head found in the rubble of New York. About how he wanted an AI, not just a dumb old brain in a tin can.

           My heart bleeds for you, Jet thought, oh wait, that's my fucking mouth.

           "What the hell am I supposed to do with this," the man muttered, sitting down and regarding Jet.

           Contacting my friends and letting me leave would be nice.

           Instead Jet got a rag stuffed in his mouth and was left alone for the night. He wished his emergency power reserves would quit already as he lay there, pain throbbing through him at near every point and distorting whatever natural concept of the passage of time he may have had.

           He couldn't tell if he was having nightmares or hallucinating as monsters prowled around him, scraping at his skin with metal, rusty claws and laughing. One held up Albert's head that smiled at him crookedly before it burned black, mouth and eye sockets empty and wide, before it crumbled to dust, smoking from the heat of the sun. Then the monster morphed into a savior tank and slammed its heavy arm down on Jet.

           His eyes snapped open. There was light and the man was once again pacing around the room, talking to someone, though his image and voice seemed to fade in and out. Jet couldn't stay conscious and didn't bother trying.

           "Yeah, it's a cyborg. Black Ghost model. …want to study advanced AIs not this…yeah it works…damaged…that's why I called you, you're into cybernetics……hell no I paid too much for this stupid thing…low price, how about that…lost time and money…"

           He woke up again to fingers in his mouth and regretted his broken jaw. Cyborgs had one hell of a bite. It stung and ached as the dried blood was wiped clear and cords inserted into the emergency port.

           "Might as well get something out of this," the man grumbled, "there's a background AI in there, though it's inactive, let's see if I can access that."

           Jet shut his eyes again. So much for holding down the fort until he was rescued.

           He was shunted aside and stripped open, his mind itself violated as the emergency control port was activated and the secondary AI took over, ready for commands. He couldn't even form imagery to control the cybernetics and was instead submerged under an endless stream of binary.

           Nothing more than a ghost in carefully crafted machine.

           But I'm human, he thought, almost begging.

           I'm human.

           After his AI specs had been stripped and his translator and short range scanners removed, Jet found himself plugged into a new power source and put into storage. He tried to self-destruct as he was shut away but that too had been deactivated. He had no outs.

           Fine, this was better anyway. No more fighting to keep anyone out, no more probing into his mind. No more breaking bones and drills. He just had to wait here until the team found him. He could do that.

           It was so dark and the power-pack too warm.

           He slept and it helped, his various pains beginning to fade to dull aches every time he woke up. He wondered how he could feel so exhausted when he had no body.

           He eventually couldn't sleep anymore and sat in the darkness. He tried to repair the damage to his secondary cybernetic brain, but he was disregarded. He'd have to work to regain control, if he even could.

           Come on guys, any time now.

           It had been days or maybe just hours, he couldn't tell, when he started seeing things. First the supposed walls grew scales and moved like a breathing animal, and then beetles started crawling around. Somewhere he thought he heard a symphony, but he wasn't familiar enough with any and it was just the same false notes over and over. It was eventually replaced by random bouts of screaming. Jet shut his eyes as though it would help.

           Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer…

           Negative two thousand one hundred and seventy-eight bottles of beer on the wall, negative two thousand one hundred and seventy-eight bottles of beer…

           Take one down, taunt the starving children with it because you have nothing why are you trying to give beer to kids and is this a dry state what the fuck is even up with that and toss it in the air look magic!

           Negative two thousand one hundred and seventy-nine bottles of beer on the wall!

           One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small, and the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all…

           Why did I get into that fight anyway? What was the point? Jets versus Sharks, how stupid. I was such a stupid kid I'm sorry I'm so sorry I killed you…

           About the third time Albert showed up and yelled at him Jet finally started to cry, or would have had he the tears to spare.

           I should have gone back for you, I'm sorry, why did you have to do that? Why you? I would have done it for you, for any of you! Please don't go…

           The lazarus cyborgs opened the door and grabbed him, dragging him out into the burning dark as skyscrapers fell around them, roaring.

           I knew, I knew!

           How many people died, they shrieked at him, how many died for profit?

           What could I do?!

           They threw him back into the dark.

           Someone please answer me. Please. Open the door I'll tell you what you want…

           The darkness was split by an igniting lighter and the embers of a cigarette, glowing onto his mother's face. She took a drag and then put the cigarette in his mouth.

           Hang in there a little longer, kiddo, she said and smiled.

           "Hey there, cyborg head!"

           The light blinded Jet as the door to his prison opened. He blinked and the left eye adjusted, the right still doing its own thing and allowing too much light in.

           The man was in a good mood and was smiling as he pulled Jet out. Jet for his part was ecstatic. He was out! Here was a person! He didn't care who it was and the abuse he suffered by this man was forgotten, he was out of the dark and the heat. How long had he been in there?

           Jet was set onto the workbench while the man went to work replacing his power-pack with a smaller model and extra fluid and oxygen capsules. Jet looked around best he could. There was no computer in sight but what looked like a reinforced cardboard box.

           "Finally found a buyer. Had to sell you pretty cheap due to the damage and the fact your core systems are from the 60's, but at least I'll get some of my money back."

           What?

           A new power source attached, including fluid and oxygen, and the man began wrapping Jet in cotton batting followed by plastic wrap.

           What are you doing?! No, please don't! Wait! Hook me back up, I'll give you everything! Tell you anything just please don't!

           Don't send me away! How will the team find me…?

           Adrenaline surged and Jet tried to breathe, to pant to cry to scream, anything, but all he could do was lay there and let it fester in him. The best he could do was blink rapidly through the batting.

           He was finally placed into the box, cushioned by foam. He gave one last mental cry, begging, but the box closed and the sound of tape being applied sealed him in.

           The disturbingly shiny tool closed in on his eye, ready to pry and pull.

           Not the left not the left not the left…

           His newest owner glanced at the computer screen, noted the malfunctioning eye, and shifted the pliers to the right.

           Thank you, Jet thought, and then screamed internally as the eye was plucked out.

           Another owner, another saw to his skull. He didn't know why she was bothering all his scanners had been long ago removed. He had so many gaps in his head now he wondered that his brain wasn't rattling around.

           Or maybe it was. Like he could tell.

           "I dunno, it's been pulled apart a lot, most of the useful cybernetics have been removed already."

           It has nothing left. It tried.

           "Maybe you could give it to a student or something, it's still got the core systems and the cybernetic brain is functioning, though I think it was wiped."

           It cannot see. Where are you? You must move it cannot see you…

           "Yeah the brain itself is still okay, I think. I've been managing its power and oxygen levels…" she paused and pat her cyborg toy on the head.

           Don't hurt it, it'll be good.

           "Don't worry, I'll find you a nice home."

           It thanks you. It knows no one is coming.

           There were friends once…they are not coming.

           "Think about it, a computer can be hacked, but a human mind behind the security? A living security system!"

           "It looks like shit."

           "Well yes, this is an experiment I'm funding myself and this wasn't very expensive, relatively speaking considering the source of the tech…"

           "I think it's dead."

           "No no, the cybernetics and the casing could use some work but the brain is functioning, see? And that's all that matters."

           "Fine. Hook it up to one of the doors in the basement for storage. Just that one! And it better behave, if it starts malfunctioning or giving anybody shit…"

           "Don't worry, the previous owner gave me tips on how to keep it in line. Just a couple shocks here and there when it misbehaves."

           "We aren't going to have to like…feed it or anything are we?"

           "No, just replace the power packs and fluid now and again. Trust me, it'll work great."

[rivbike]

If you missed the Hubbuhubbuh the first time around...

(We actually have one each per size available here but not all colors. More frames in all sizes are coming in early October. Two colors: sage, blue)

CONCEPT: A comfortable, upright position tandem for fat 650B (27.5-inch) tires up to 2.4". It's not a "fat bike," but it comes close. It's equally good for riding two miles to town to buy cotton candy, post-dinner laps of the neighborhood, and expeditionary off-road touring.

Despite its comfort, the HHH isn't slow, even with monster tires. The grunting you put into it is returned in immediate speed—more so than even on a single, because you’ve got two engines.

WHERE IT'S MADE, WHAT IT COSTS: Taiwan, where mfring cost are lower, so we could pull out all the stops, not compromise on the number of joints required to make the frame as good as it can be. The craftsmanship is unsurpassed, and the frame costs only $1,800.

You'll notice the frame is super triangulated, with lateral more joints than most modern tandem frames. The extra bracing makes the HHH rame stiffer and stronger. These helpful joints have, for the most part, been removed from most modern tandems as a way to reduce manufacturing costs and make them easier to S/S couple. So don’t take it to Europe with you. That's a hassle, anyway.

VALUE:  The $1,800 includes—

• the best eccentric by far—the Bushnell Retro ($125)

• two seat posts  ($60 value) & headset ($50 at least).

For the first 20 buyers we’ll include a designed-by-us NITTO-made tandem Bullmoose style stoker stem. We have only 20. They’re a pain to get, and the minimums are too high for us to do it again. We’ll supply a Control Tech or other reasonable stoker stem (our choice) when we run out of the NITTO ones. Either way, you get a $100 to $200 value included.

MATERIALS: CrMo steel frame and fork. Tubes are ovalized vertically at the head tube and laterally at the captain's seat tube intersections to allow piercings—kind of like the way Burley did it. This allows full-length marathon tubes.

CONSTRUCTION: TIG-welded frame with investment cast seat binders and head tube reinforcement rings. These are our own design, they're good, and they say RBW on them forever.

BRAKES: V-BRAKE braze-ons front and rear. DISC-MOUNT on the rear. The cable guides make everything easy.

DROPOUTS: Chunky Rivendell-designed expensive investment castings.

ECCENTRIC: Made for the BUSHNELL, and comes with it. ($120 value) NCLUDED IN THE $1,800 PRICE.

SEAT POSTS: 29.8MM, and comes with two. (total $60 value at least) INCLUDED IN THE $1,800 PRICE. It's easy to get 29.8mm stoker stems. We have a few here, and can order you whatever you like.

HEADSET: 1 1/8" threadless. Comes with a good one (all you need). It might be a Tange, might be an FSA. We've used both, they're excellent, don't suspect us of cheapening out on the headset, because we don't do things like that. INCLUDED IN THE $1,800 PRICE.

BRAZE-ONS: Ample for assorted racks...and even a kickstand plate.  Carries four bottles. Rivendell sells bikes for touring, fun, and utility rides, so if there's a rack or two out there that doesn't fit, it's the rack's fault.

"This is Rivendell’s first and only tandem. It seems risky. I feel better buying from an established tandem veteran expert" (you may be thinking...)

Good concerns. Yes, it’s our first and only tandem and we’re going to stop after this. If that makes you nervous—understood! But also understand that I/Grant have owned two tandems before—a 1981 Tom Ritchey and a more recent Mercian that I designed myself (they let me do it). Tandems are “a different animal,” but it’s not a jellyfish versus grizzly bear arrangement. It’s more like trout versus salmon. They’re still two-wheelers that use most of the same parts, and they should both ride smooth and easy.

HOW DOES IT RIDE, THO?

Like a RIvendell. It's neutral, not quirky, easy to control in all conditions. It's pleasantly light=steering and easy maneuver. The stoker will be happy with the long chainstays, which put the rear axle further back, so a bump's enerfy isn't directed straight up at the ol' crotch. Stoker and captain alike will like the roominess and comfort.

There are 65 on the road as of Sept 1. We've received raving feedback from about 25 of them, a mix of experienced tandem riders and tandem rookies.

ARE THEY A STANDARD BIKE IN YOUR LINE FROM NOW ON?

Absolutely....NOT. After two rounds of prototypes (six bikes), we nailed all the details, did an finite element test on the frames to check the stresses and make sure it's overbuilt...and at this point we could go forth and make hundreds. But tandems are expensive for us to deal with. We don't ship fully assembled ones, because we don't have boxes for them--maybe they're gettable--but in any case, assembling a tandem takes too much out of Mark.

SO I GET A FRAME AND FORK AND THEN WHAT?

Have your local dealer assemble it, and offer them $270 to do it—it's worth it to you, and they'll think it's worth it to them. Buy some parts there, while you're at it. We have all of the parts you need, but it's only good form to buy some stuff--accessories and SOME parts—from your in-town dealer. But make sure they've assembled tandems before. We don't want them calling us and asking questions they shouldn't have to ask--or what's worse, accusing us of spec'ing a bike with incompatible parts.

DO YOU HAVE TANDEM-SPECIFIC PARTS?

Cranks, yes--but we ordered the arm lengths according to the frame size, so here's what you get if you get a frame and want the cranks:

SMALL FRAME: 170 both

MEDIUM FRAME: 173 front, 170 back

LARGE FRAME: 178 front, 170 back

Main drive rings are 44 x 34 x 24, with the smallest two steel, as they should be. Timing rings are 38T steel, and come with ring guards.

The cranks are our own SILVER brand. Not rebranded cranks out of the mfr's book. We designed these ourselves, spend $12,000 on the tooling, and they're cold-forged 7075 T6 aluminum, and pass the strictest Mtn Bike EN tests (cranks have tests, this is the toughest).

WHY SUCH SMALL RINGS ON A TANDEM?

The big 650B tires make the 44 feel like a 48 on a mtn bike; and with 11/12T rear cogs, why go bigger? The smaller big ring is more usable. When you have a 54 (as many tandems do), it's usable on descents that terrify your stoker, but for regular riding it's just a chainguard for the middle ring you're usually in.

And remember. the HHH is a fun-and-traveling tandem. It's not the bike you take to beat the fast guys on their singles. It's a family terrific bike. Even the large size fits a typical 5-foot stoker. By the time your child or grandchild is ten--hope aboard, let's go get some ice cream!

COLORS

SAGE, DARK GRAYISH BLUE, AND MAYBE AN ORANGE. No options. Our regular painter couldn't fit them into his booth (which is in Taichung, Taiwan, by the way), so they went to a powder coater.

We like all the colors, but it's human nature to prefer the color you can't get because we ran out. Keep in mind that the HHH is, in its humble hobo low-tech rockem-sockem fun family and serious expedition way, unlike most or maybe all other tandems on the market. There's no carbon. It's not suspended (no need!), and it's not disc-only. It's not a drop bar bike--ride it with our BOSCO bars or ALBATROSS bars or CHOCO bars--or some other non-drop.

It is highly unlikely that we'll do these tandems again. We'll certainly "support" them with parts and technical support. We have decals for repaints. But no more bikes. The plan was to make 25, but we got orders for 60+, so we ordered 70, then added a second run of 30 more to make it an even 100. That is final.

CALL OR EMAIL TO ORDER OR FOR MORE INFORMATION.

You can talk to Dave, Mark, Roman, Will, or Grant. Any of us can tell you all about the HubbuHubbuH. Please call to order. 800 345 3918

And here's more information, including drawings and geometry. It has long chainstays, long top tubes, and is designed for upright, sweep-back handlebars. It's not a drop-bar, skinny-tire tandem.

http://hubbuhubbuh.tumblr.com

[buddyrabrahams]

Early favorite to win every major conference in college basketball

The turn of the calendars to a new year can mean only one thing for college basketball: Conference play is here!

The first two months of non-conference play can feel like the first quarter of a thoroughbred race. Jockeys move, shake, and jostle for positioning, but no mistake can truly cost a potential champion of their chance to win down the stretch. Teams from across the country play games that matter on their resumes but feature teams that will look and play differently than those we’ll be watching in March. True freshmen can look lost or unpolished. Veterans can dominate. Sleepy arenas in ignored holiday tournaments can lead to puzzling results.

Conference play, however, is here to save the day. Now we get to see packed student-sections (once all students return from winter break) and the rivalries we know and love. This is when college basketball hits its stride and we can really begin to assess every team on a familiar playing field.

Here, then, is the early front-runner for each power conference championship:

ACC – Duke

The Blue Devils are unquestionably the most talented team in the conference, but Duke’s schedule isn’t without its fair share of challenges. Coach K’s squad will play five road games against the KenPom Top 50, including three games against teams in the KenPom Top 10.

Virginia, though still undefeated this season, arguably has a tougher slate through conference play. The Cavaliers have six road games against top 50 competition still to come. Virginia and Duke are scheduled for a home-and-home that could provide the inside track to the regular season conference championship. Those two games will feature a radical clash in styles, with the Hoos forcing Duke to play at a slower pace. If Duke’s athletes are still able to force the issue in the halfcourt and use their speed and size to maximize their scoring chances, the Blue Devils can be successful against Virginia. If the Cavaliers can force RJ Barrett and Zion Williamson to settle for jump shots, they’ll have a tougher time in Charlottesville.

North Carolina will remain part of the race to the top of the conference as well if Coby White continues to play like an All-American. Of the three teams, Carolina has looked the most like a work in progress, but also sports the best win of any ACC club, as they handled Gonzaga fairly easily.

In the end, Duke’s top-level talent likely comes out on top. Even if they drop a game to UNC or UVA, the Blue Devils stars make them less susceptible to losing any other unexpected games in conference.

Big East – Marquette

For the first time in recent memory, the Big East is wide open. Even when Xavier has challenged Villanova in the last few seasons (and won the regular season crown last year), the Wildcats had distanced themselves from the middle of the pack. The third-place team in Big East play hasn’t finished within four games of the league leader since the conference realigned in 2013.

This season, there are no fewer than six teams capable of finishing the year atop the standings. Villanova has clearly taken a step back, but still is plenty capable of finding its way in time to win the conference. St. John’s is 13-1, having looked strong against a questionable non-conference schedule. Creighton, Butler, Xavier, and even DePaul will be competitive this season. Top to bottom, the league will feature great games all season long.

Marquette gets the nod as the early favorite thanks to the balance through its roster. The Hauser brothers make for a sturdy frontcourt, capable of controlling the glass. Theo John is a dominant rim protector off the bench for the Golden Eagles, while Joseph Chartouny adds a shooting touch on the outside.

Everything Marquette looks to accomplish, however, is driven by Markus Howard. The 5-foot-11 junior guard might be the best shooter in college basketball. He’s made 45 percent of the 500-plus long-range attempts in his college career, while missing just 22 of the 266 free throws he’s attempted. No player in the Big East can get hot as quickly as Howard, which he proved by scoring 40 points against Buffalo in the second half!

Even though Marquette lost its Big East opener at St. John’s, the Golden Eagles are best positioned to be the top seed at Madison Square Garden this March.

Big Ten – Michigan

It’s never easy to pick against Michigan State in the Big Ten, especially when this year’s Spartans have lost just twice, to Louisville in overtime and Kansas. It would take an elite team to not only challenge Sparty, but to have a leg up on Tom Izzo and company.

Down the road in Ann Arbor, Michigan is that kind of special elite team. Defensively, Michigan has been among the country’s best teams. The Wolverines are forcing opponents to score the 4th-highest percentage of points on 2-point baskets, while also allowing the 6th-worst shooting percentage inside the arc. Michigan funnels teams away from efficient scoring chances and right into difficult shots. It has worked like a charm, thanks in part to the teaching of de-facto defensive coordinator Luke Yaklich. Since his addition to the coaching staff last season, Michigan has leaped into the top tier of defensive scheming programs in college basketball.

Offensively, John Beilein once again has his players running a pitch perfect motion system. While playing a slow pace, the Wolverines have committed the fourth-fewest turnovers in the nation. No team but Michigan in college basketball has had the ball stolen on fewer than five percent of their possessions.

Without extraordinary star power or overwhelming athleticism, Michigan is outsmarting and outworking every opponent they meet on the court. They look like a contender for both the Big Ten crown and the national championship.

Big XII – Kansas

If you want to pick anyone but Kansas, go ahead. I’ve considered it in past years or gotten my hopes about other contenders. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me fourteen years in a row, well, welcome to Kansas’ dominance of the Big XII. The Jayhawks have at least shared the league title each of the last fourteen years, a stat you can’t avoid when watching any Kansas game. You hear less often that the Jayhawks haven’t even shared the title since 2013. This year would make six straight outright conference championships.

There’s certainly no reason to doubt that this is the Kansas team to let the streak die. Dedric Lawson has been a steady double-double machine. Devon Dotson is a joy to watch streak up and down the court. Udoka Azubuike is a monster in the paint. Lagerald Vick would like to have a word with me about me calling someone else the best shooter in college basketball a few paragraphs ago.

Even when five-star recruit Quentin Grimes got off to a slow start, Kansas was the clear favorite in the conference. Grimes was scoring just 7.4 points per game and shooting under 40 percent from the floor before Christmas. In Kansas’ last two games, the freshman has averaged 15 points per game and hasn’t missed a 2-point attempt.

Even though Texas Tech looks like an elite defensive team, if Grimes can get his game rolling, Kansas not only will win the conference, but will do so easily.

SEC – Tennessee

A team like the Vols loses a lot of cache when they fall from the ranks of the unbeaten. If Tennessee were still undefeated, they’d have a chance at the top spot in the polls and be atop the minds of everyone discussing the nation’s best. Even with one loss, they’ve become somewhat of an afterthought among teams ranked in the AP Top Ten. Their only loss to date came to Kansas, in overtime, in a game played in Kansas City.

Grant Williams has a real chance to repeat as SEC Player of the Year, and the rest of the Vols perfectly complement his game. Best of all, Tennessee is a hard-working team that will make any team fight for 40 minutes. Defending and battling the likes of Williams and Admiral Schofield wears teams down like a smashmouth running game in football. By late in the second half, the Vols punish tired teams around the rim.

Pac-12 – Arizona State

Earlier this week, this pick may have been debatable. Then we learned that Bol Bol would miss the rest of the season with an injury, severely damaging Oregon’s chances to challenge the Sun Devils.

Now the rest of the Pac-12 will chase Bobby Hurley’s squad like a roving pack of zombies after the conference had a dismal collective non-conference performance. UCLA grabbed the headlines with a four-game losing streak and by firing its coach, but the rest of the middle and back of the conference has been just as ugly. Arizona has four losses and narrowly avoided disaster in its last game before the holidays, beating UC Davis by just two at home.

Colorado lost back-to-back games to Indiana State and Hawaii. Oregon State lost to Kent State. Washington State has losses to Seattle, Montana State, New Mexico State (twice!), and Santa Clara. USC also lost to Santa Clara, Utah also lost to Hawaii, and Cal also lost to Seattle. For a power conference to have not just one-off losses to lowly programs, but multiple teams losing games to the same mediocre mid-majors, is embarrassing.

Collectively, the entire conference is just 5-26 versus the KenPom Top 50, and three of those wins are Arizona State’s. The other 11 schools have combined for a .074 winning percentage versus top 50 competition.

Touting Arizona State as the early favorite should have been more about the Sun Devils’ positive qualities, yet winning the Pac-12 this year looks like a low bar. If the Sun Devils can’t surge to a decisive lead in the standings, there will be no team in the league that will look capable of a run in March. That surge got a bit harder after Arizona State stumbled and lost to Utah at home to open conference play. If the Sun Devils can’t bounce back, the Pac-12 may be in serious danger of being a one-bid conference on Selection Sunday, for the first time since 1978 when the conference had just eight schools.

Shane McNichol covers college basketball and the NBA for Larry Brown Sports. He also blogs about basketball at Palestra Back and has contributed to Rush The Court, ESPN.com, and USA Today Sports Weekly. Follow him on Twitter @OnTheShaneTrain.

from Larry Brown Sports http://bit.ly/2Qn5T8H

[itsworn]

Pit Stop: Hop Old TPI System, Retain Stock Appearance

A Chevy TPI system’s rpm range is constrained by the intake manifold’s long-tube runners. Even installing a big cam or free-flowing heads won’t significantly alter the engine’s rpm band; it’s all done by 5,300–5,500 rpm at best. Understanding this limitation, you can still build a great torque monster, but it will never be a high-revin’ screamer with the long runners. TEN Archives

QUESTION I have a 1990 C4 (fourth-generation Corvette) with a stock 350 L98 TPI/4L60 combo. I want to increase performance and efficiency, but I don’t want to go the LS route. I’m considering a 383-stroker build, but I still want to maintain a stock appearance. I understand the batch-fired Tuned Port Injection (TPI) is a large weakness for these engines. How can I improve that on the intake and EFI system? I would like to convert to a sequential EFI, a larger throttle-body, and improve airflow. I also plan on running long-tube headers with an X-pipe and cat-back. Where I live, the car is emissions-exempt, so I can delete the AIR (smog) pump and catalytic converter. What do you suggest? Larry Allard Via email

ANSWER Converting from batch-fired port fuel injection (half of the injectors fire simultaneously) to sequential port injection (each injector fires individually) would require a different, more modern GM ECU (computer) or an aftermarket system, meaning a whole new wiring harness and sensor suite, plus either a dual-synch distributor or crank-trigger setup. Another issue is that on the 1990 Corvette, the speedometer ties directly into the factory computer, a function that isn’t supported on typical standalone aftermarket upgrade harnesses.

The full-sequential upside is modern computers are end-user reflashable, compared to having to burn a new “chip” every time you need to make a change to the original factory TPI computer. The downside with going full-sequential is you won’t see any power gains on a normally aspirated, street-driven hot rod—the OEs went sequential primarily for emissions and gas-mileage improvements. In the performance world, sequential injection only makes a significant difference on a high-end engine making so much power that it’s “running out of injector.” With the proper aftermarket high-end computer, a sequential injector’s opening/closing point versus the intake valve opening point can be precisely tailored, often permitting reducing the pulse width of huge injectors for better idle stability with big cams and/or power-adders.

Just deleting the AIR pump and installing a shorter serpentine-drive belt isn’t a smart move because that won’t provide proper pulley belt-wrap and tensioning on the overall drive system. The right way to delete the smog pump (for off-road use only) is to use an off-road AIR pump delete kit that comes with a bracket and a “dummy” pulley that bolts in place of the original pump, thereby maintaining the proper belt-wrap around the other system pulleys as well as the correct belt tension using the original-length belt and tensioner. TPI Specialties (TPIS) offers an AIR pump delete kit (PN 4.ACC359) for 1985–1991 Corvettes. TPIS specializes in TPI upgrades, in general.

You’re definitely right that the uniquely shaped TPI intake manifold is the system’s big bottleneck. I prefer to think of the manifold’s long runners as the engine combination’s dominant tuning factor. They’re like long, tuned-length exhaust header tubes—but on the intake side. You can free up the exhaust side, install better cylinder heads, or slide in a bigger cam, but none of these traditional hop-up techniques will extend the operating range much over 5,300 rpm as long as those long stock runners remain.

So what can be done to a TPI yet still “maintain a stock appearance?” Build a torque monster! A larger 383 motor is a sound plan. No one can tell how many cubes are beneath the valve covers. Your idea of long-tube headers backed by an X-pipe and cat-back system is a definite improvement as well, but at this stage, don’t go too large on the exhaust headers—1⅝-inch primaries into 3-inch collectors is about right, dropping down to (in your case) a catless, header-back, “off-road” 2.5-inch exhaust system like the one sold by Pypes.

Pypes Race Pro dual exhaust systems is one of many “off-road” full header-back dual-exhaust systems. PN SCC40R fits 1986–1991 C4 Corvettes with the L98 350. It includes 2.5-inch Type 409 stainless-steel dual pipes plus mufflers. Summit Racing sells it for around $800. Pypes Performance

On the induction side, the TPI intake consists of three bolt-together parts: the top plenum, the long-tube runners in the middle, and the lower intake portion that bolts to the heads. The stock runners are too flimsy and thin-walled to port out, but Arizona Speed & Marine still lists larger-diameter, TPI-like runners that appear almost stock to the casual observer (PN 20199 fits 1989–1992 models). Realizing their full benefits requires porting-out the plenum top and lower-manifold components. Some sources claim a 30–lb-ft/25hp improvement with a fully modded TPI intake.

TPIS can do the upper and lower intake-manifold porting. Alternatively, Accel and Edelbrock once offered larger-passage lower intakes, but they’re long gone; scour eBay or swap meets. Be careful, there are subtle changes to TPI manifolds over the years. In a Corvette with aluminum heads, they must accept the EGR tube that runs to the back of the intake, have an intake bolt-pattern where all the manifold-to-head attaching bolts are drilled at the same angle, and (for 1989–1992 models) not have a ninth (cold-start) injector hole. With the intake and exhaust freed up (to the extent a TPI can be freed up), the engine responds to cams with 0.050 durations in the low- to mid-220s and around 0.520 lift, such as the GM Chevrolet Performance Parts LT4 “hot cam” or TPIS ZZ409 (see table). The Chevy cam is designed to work best with 1.6:1 rockers (stock is 1.5:1).

The now better-flowing intake would benefit from larger TPI-style, two-barrel throttle-bodies. A stock throttle-body is about 48 mm, but BBK still offers larger 52 mm and 58 mm TPI bodies (they even have California EOs). For the 1989–1992 models, BBK PN 1537 is the 52mm unit and PN 1539 is the 58mm unit. While you’re at it, pick up a BBK PN 1714 adjustable fuel-pressure regulator kit. Slightly varying the fuel pressure is one tuner trick for fine adjustment without needing to burn a new chip every time you need to make a minor calibration change.

More power and cubes requires more fuel plus a custom PROM chip. TPIS and Howell, among others, still burns custom chips to order. On the fuel side, move up to 30-pound injectors (stock is 22 lb/hr). TPIS’s Jim Hall strongly recommends a “high-quality unit such as those made by Bosch—certainly no Chinese-made stuff!” A higher-capacity, in-tank fuel pump is needed to support the larger injectors. Quantum is one highly rated choice.

Carrying a lifetime warranty, Quantum’s bolt-in, in-tank, E85-compatible 1985–1996 Corvette fuel pump and installation kit combo (PN QFS-343FT) has a 340-lph (89.82-gph) flow rating, sufficient to support more than 650 hp. Amazon.com sells this pump kit for around $80. Amazon.com

On a large-displacement small-block, consider an upgrade to more modern, higher-flowing, aftermarket aluminum heads. Adding aftermarket heads with around a 180cc intake runner volume, plus all the preceding mods, collectively yields a 400 hp/500–lb-ft torque monster, but it still falls off over 5,500.

Still not enough? Beyond this point you’ll start trading off some of the humongous bottom-end for more top-end, high-rpm performance—as is the norm on any normally aspirated hot rod. TPIS offers an excellent short-runner MiniRam intake that frees up the upper end, but that departs from that classic TPI look. Visually, the MiniRam sort of resembles a Gen II LT1/4 small-block OE intake, but with better flow and compatibility with a Gen I small-block (exact part numbers vary, depending on which cylinder head you end up with).

Although the motor will no longer appear externally stock, TPIS’s short-runner MiniRam is the hot ticket for freeing up the TPI on the top-end. This intake will pull through 7,500 rpm with the right matching cam and heads. Marlan Davis

The MiniRam is effective through 7,500 rpm and is said to be worth another 80-plus horsepower on the top-end with complementary camshafts and heads with 195cc-or-larger intake runner volumes. With larger cams approaching the low- to mid-230s low-end cylinder pressure is reduced, allowing around 10.5:1 static compression with careful tuning on premium gas. Regardless, with EFI, you generally want to have a 112-degree or wider lobe separation angle (LSA) to maintain a good low-end vacuum signal, particularly on the early Speed Density system used by 1990 TPI Corvettes. At this level, headers with larger 1¾-inch primary tubes can also be of benefit.

Changing the engine’s overall operating range calls for a looser (higher-stall) torque converter and steeper rear gears. A 1990 L98 Corvette with a 4L60 automatic came standard with a measly 2.59:1 ratio or (with the G92 performance axle ratio option) 3.07:1 gears, but higher numerical ratios are available from the aftermarket.

Why stop at a 383? Why not a 406 or a 427? Welcome to the hot rod upgrade treadmill. Good luck!

Ask Marlan A Tech Question: pitstop@HotRod.com

The post Pit Stop: Hop Old TPI System, Retain Stock Appearance appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network https://www.hotrod.com/articles/pit-stop-hop-old-tpi-system-retain-stock-appearance/ via IFTTT

[vrheadsets]

Something For The Weekend: Easter Sunday Steam Deals

Easter weekend is here and it is also the 1st April so with the start of a new month and an extra day in the weekend why not pick yourself up something new and have a blast. To help you out VRFocus has put together some of the best virtual reality (VR) deals from the Steam store to make finding your new favorite even easier. As always be sure to check back every weekend for even more deals right here on VRFocus.

Giant Cop: Justice Above All

“As a way to showcase your Oculus Touch controllers to VR newbies then Giant Cop would be a good place to start, Other Ocean has really packed the city with stuff. But for experienced VR enthusiasts it can feel more like a flesh out tech demo than a real all-round videogame, as it mainly focuses on picking objects up and having a play. While great for quick play sessions, longevity will likely be an issue as there’s only so many times you can pick up a small NPC and throw them across the city for a laugh.” – Read VRFocus’ Senior Staff Writer Peter Graham’s review of Giant Cop: Justice Above All here.

Giant Cop: Justice Above All is currently half price at £9.49 (GBP) down from £18.99.

VR Ping Pong Paradise

If table tennis is more your thing and you feel like it needs a little bit of a twist then maybe VR Ping Pong Paradise will be for you. As the title states, this is a table tennis VR title but where you will play in outer space, on a seaside golf course, on a raft in a river and even on a basketball court. With a number of different players to go up against, VR Ping Pong Paradise is a light-hearted take on the otherwise classic sport.

VR Ping Pong Paradise is currently on sale for for £7.69 (GBP) down from £10.99.

Dream Coaster VR

“Dream Coaster VR will put the definition of roller coaster simulator on the whole new level of entertainment! Travel between reality and dream while moving around the whole spectrum of different environmental themes – from Wonderland woods, through majestic volcanic mountains straight to the mysterious cave mouth! All of them created with care about every detail in the highest quality 3D graphics powered by Unreal Engine. The thrill of immersion will consume you completely! Prepare for intense sensations you can’t even dreamed about! ”

Dream Coaster VR is currently the low price of £0.39 (GBP) down from £1.59.

Merry Snowballs

It might be April that does not mean you cannot have some fun in the snow. Merry Snowballs is an action packed VR snowball fight videogame in which you need to battle against the neighborhood kids in order to score plenty of points and climb up that leaderboard. With plenty of challenging levels and a variety of Gadgets and Powerups to use, Merry Snowball will let you relive your childhood days of snowball fights all within the comfort of VR.

Merry Snowballs is currently on sale for £3.59 (GBP) down from £4.79.

Fat Foods

Currently in Early Access, Fat Foods is a videogame about trying to eat as much as possible. Because of all the eating though the only way you can travel around is by rolling about and avoiding the huge monster that is standing tall above the map trying to stop you. Fat Foods is a two player, same screen VR experience in which one player takes on the role of the monster causing havoc around the city with the other player, using the screen, rolling around eating as much as possible.

Fat Foods is now only £3.19 (GBP) down from £3.99.

AirMech Command

Enter the world of a fast paced real-time strategy (RTS) title where you can stand above the battlefield and command your units around to destroy the enemy or take direct control of a unit and pilot it yourself. Featuring a wide range of units, each with their own skills, and plenty of maps and mission to beat AirMech Command is packed with a lot of content to keep players engaged. Once more this action/RTS experience has support for solo, co-op or player-versus-player gamemodes meaning you can take the action online with friends and enemies.

AirMech Command is available for only £11.99 (GBP) which is down from £14.99.

DEADLOCK

Enter the virtual world like never before in DEADLOCK, an action title where players must defend their network from invading forces by entering the virtual world and gunning them down. Currently in Early Access this neon filled shooter will have you holding out against waves of enemies which will test your shooting abilities. Make use of all the weapons you have available and score the most points all while defending your network. It is kill or be killed out there.

DEADLOCK is currently over half price on sale for £0.71 (GBP) down from £4.79.

Super Ninja Hero VR

Continuing the theme of first-person action titles is Super Ninja Hero VR which invites players to take on the role of a ninja and deliver some deadly force. Overpower smart enemies and bosses as you enter a variety of cool fight scenes where you can make use of a number of different weapons. From a hidden blade to a bow and arrow, players can even attack with claws and scale walls to complete each level and feel like a true ninja.

Super Ninja Hero VR is currently on sale for £4.89 (GBP) down from £6.99.

Eye in the Sky

“Eye in the Sky is a large asymmetrical local co-op escape room for VR. Take up this challenge of perspectives and communication with a friend (or enemy, we won’t judge). Traverse a post-apocalyptic robot world from two different view points and help each other solve the puzzles that lay ahead.”

Eye in the Sky is currently only £6.79 (GBP) on sale from £7.99.

Castle Must Be Mine

Lastly today is the Early Access title where players must defend their castle from waves of enemies in this tower defense videogame. Make use of all the different towers you have, building and upgrading them to keep your kingdom safe alongside a number of powerful skills that will help turn the tide of the fight. With over 30 different monsters across a number of different maps, Castle Must Be Mine is packed with plenty of tower defense gameplay to keep anyone happy. With a colorful artstyle and the freedom to walk around the play area, the battle to save your kingdom will be unfolding right in front of you.

Castle Must Be Mine is available for only £7.69 (GBP) right now on sale from £10.99.

That is all for this week but remember that VRFocus gathers all the best sales and deals every week, so check back next weekend at the same time to discover more.

from VRFocus https://ift.tt/2H3qSKG

[racingtoaredlight]

The degenerate’s guide to 2017 college football TV watch ‘em ups: week 3

I’ve heard all of the complaints about this week’s games but you can all go to hell. One great game is all it takes to have a great week.

But there will be others! Just have faith, some of these off brand games are gonna be a hell of a lot of fun. Trust yourself to the degeneracy. Going outside and/or talking to people is a lost cause that will bring you nothing but pain and confusion. The scorch is alive with the sounds of gambling!

We don’t have enough site visitors for you to not know the deal already. All times are listed in EST because that’s how they come from FBSchedules. Following my gambling advice is likely to make your life exponentially worse. Drink more. If you’re reading this you need a drink. And some drugs. 

If you ask what time or what channel a game is on in the comments you deserve to be banned. Absolutely brilliant header image pilfered here.

If you need something besides football to fill your time, go back and watch this classic episode of Geraldo featuring the guy Macauley Culkin played in Party Monster as well as a young RuPaul.

Saturday, Sept. 16, 2017

Matchup                                                                  Time (ET)                       TV

Air Force at (7) Michigan                                        Noon                          BTN

I’ve been joking all week that Air Force is gonna spring the upset here. I don’t believe that at all but I would totally take them to cover +27 if you can still get that anywhere. +23 is getting a little dicey, though.

Delaware State at West Virginia                             Noon           ROOT SPORTS

I’m not opposed to horrific beatdowns as entertainment. If WFV is up by 40 in the first half I might switch to this.

Iowa State at Akron                                                 Noon                    CBSSN

Pretty sure I’ve met my quota of Iowa State football this year and my MAC quota is however much Miami plays a MAC team.

Kansas at Ohio                                                         Noon                     ESPNU

Ohio is a bottom 10 team in the country but are they “lose to Kansas” bad? Only one way to find out: by reading the box score after the game is over.

NIU at Nebraska                                                       Noon                      FS1

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Bear with me here, we haven’t gotten through the noon games yet.

(9) Oklahoma State at Pittsburgh                            Noon                    ESPN 

Here, here, look! A top 10 team can lose a big upset to an unranked team that isn’t even any good. That isn’t something that interests you? No? Really? OK, well we aren’t friends in real life.

(25) UCLA at Memphis                                              Noon                      ABC 

Memphis might be better as a team than UCLA. Not more talented, mind you, because UCLA is actually very talented. But better as a team because they aren’t coached by Jim Mora Jr. He’s the worst. Memphis is thoroughly OK and it’s not inconceivable to me that Riley Ferguson ends up as a better pro than Josh Rosen.

UConn at Virginia                                                      Noon                    ESPN2 

This is a fucking abomination. Pray for the poor pro scouts stuck watching this bullshit because of the 7 or so NFL prospects involved.

UL Lafayette at Texas A&M                                      Noon                    SECN 

I don’t hate Kevin Sumlin but this job might kill him. I want him back in the AAC tier of coaching jobs. He coached some fun teams at Houston, I hope he’s saved up enough that a move back to that level won’t cause him any real pain.

Furman at NC State                                                  12:20 pm                ACCN 

Holy fuck. Don’t watch this.

Baylor at Duke                                                           12:30 pm                   RSN

I don’t know how to choose sides between the athletics department that is basically the embodiment of the evil that men can do in the name of protecting the runaway cash cow that “amateur athletics” can become on one side and Baylor on the other.

Coastal Carolina at UAB                                            1:00 pm     Raycom (local)

I think Raycom is the name of one of the lead characters in the Left Behind books. And now he’s out here broadcasting nearly football games for his friends and family.

Northern Colorado at Colorado                                2:00 pm              Pac-12N 

I’ve come to realize that the Pac-12 added Colorado just for schedule coverage on Saturdays. It worked out really well last year when they had four NFL defensive backs but I’m not recommending that you watch Rocky Mountain Iowa for fun. 

Tennessee Tech at Ball State                                     3:00 pm               ESPN3 

It’s awesome that some games don’t get to play on TV at all and this one is on some version of ESPN.

Utah State at Wake Forest                                        3:00 pm        ACCNExtra 

Hell, there’s only got to be one half decent game on at a time. This isn’t one of those but I mean to say stick with it and don’t leave me alone here watching all day college football by myself and talking to my walls.

Central Michigan at Syracuse                                   3:30 pm        ACCNExtra

When Syracuse fucked up the Big East they should have joined the MAC. Dino Babers is a perfect MAC coach.

FIU at Indiana                                    —Canceled

No word yet if this game was cancelled due to infrastructure issues or a general lack of interest.

Morgan State at Rutgers                                           3:30 pm               BTN 

This is very grim. Is Rutgers able to lose to Morgan State? I don’t know. Probably. 

Middle Tennessee at Minnesota                               3:30 pm              BTN 

Here we go, Richie James versus the Row the Boat guy. This could have some fun highlights. Has PJ Fleck actually gotten anything going at Minnesota or is still way too early? I’m honestly asking.

North Carolina at Old Dominion                               3:30 pm          Stadium

Reminder: Stadium is an app. You have to download it to watch. It’s free which is still way too much to pay to watch this game.

North Texas at Iowa                                                  3:30 pm              ESPN2 

I might honestly hate football by the time the Lamar Jackson game starts.

Notre Dame at Boston College                                3:30 pm               ESPN 

Notre Dame will be playing for revenge after Boston College tricked them into hiring Brian Kelly. I’ll keep an eye on the score but the expected entertainment value in watching this game is negative.

SMU at (20) TCU                                                        3:30 pm             ESPNU 

I’m not going to go so far as to say I’m intrigued by this game but I’m maybe pre-intrigued. Like Courtland Sutton is huge and could go off at any time but there’s a realistic chance that TCU wins by 60, also.

(23) Tennessee at (24) Florida                                   3:30 pm               CBS

It’s been 20 years since that stretch where this rivalry was contending for best game each year. Now, UF has an offensive guru head coach who is leading them to a third straight season of worse than top 100 offense and Tennessee has a head coach who’s actually even more inexplicably still employed. Feel the excitement!

(16) Virginia Tech at East Carolina                            3:30 pm            CBSSN 

Justin Fuente was a really great hire by Virginia Tech. It seems to have re-energized Bud Foster, the offense looks good. I absolutely fucking hate it.

(10) Wisconsin at BYU                                               3:30 pm                 ABC 

BYU used to have all kinds of big name opponents every year, back in the days before Don Juan Alvarez turned Wisconsin into a really good program. I like the idea of this matchup, in large part because it’s being played in Utah. BYU isn’t great right now but this is a tough spot to win on the road. If Wisconsin does blow the doors off BYU, I hope it’s behind a bunch of carries from Jonathan Taylor. I’m mulling over having him on the RTARLsman list next week.

Mercer at (15) Auburn                                              4:00 pm             SECN Alt. 

This is a very SEC kind of game. Good job scheduling this as the follow up to being mauled by Clemson. I’m not even being snarky, this is perfect. Not even the least bit watchable but should be great for the team.

Purdue at Missouri                                                   4:00 pm                  SECN

Missouri is favored by 7 and I kind of feel like that’s a mistake. Jeff Brohm is a low key contender for best coaching hire of 2017.

Army at (8) Ohio State                                              4:30 pm                 FOX 

The last time I felt this unsure about Ohio State Spencer started railing about Tom Herman being the best OC in the country, the Buckeyes went on a 13-game winning streak and won a national title. Now Spencer hates sports, Tom Herman is a shitty head coach in Texas and if Ohio State’s offense continues the way it’s gone so far this year then Urban Meyer will be forced by god to spend some time with his family. Go Army.

Oregon State at (21) Washington State                   5:30 pm               Pac-12N 

This is probably not going to make any sense to anybody that didn’t watch the game but Washington State actually looked kind of shitty even while they were coming back from a 21-point deficit last week. Luke Falk got hurt but I didn’t follow up to see the severity of it. I mean all this to say this is a game only a gambler can love.

Colgate at Buffalo                                                      6:00 pm               ESPN3

Can the bison avoid having their teeth cleaned?

North Carolina A&T at Charlotte                               6:00 pm  WCCB/CUSA.TV

I’ll say this for UNC, Larry Fedora does put together an interesting game plan. I’m not really sold on any of their talent this year but I’m still not sold on Mitch Trubisky, either, and that turned out pretty well for them.

Tulane at (2) Oklahoma                                              6:00 pm           FSOK PPV 

Somebody who fucks mud, please explain why this is only on PPV? Is that a mistake on the schedule or Oklahoma really trying to become the flyover version of Hawaii? For what it’s worth my impression of Oklahoma bashing Ohio State last week is that every single reaction to that game was outsized. Oklahoma is not the 2nd best team in the country.

Bethune-Cookman at Florida Atlantic                     6:30 pm       beIN SPORTS

Go Wildcats.

Kent State at Marshall                                               6:30 pm            CUSA.TV

The bad part is almost over.

Alabama A&M at South Alabama                              7:00 pm              ESPN3 

USA has been a disappointment so far but there isn’t even a line for this game so what the hell does information even do for you here?

Appalachian State at Texas State                             7:00 pm              ESPN3

When you look at every game all lined up one by one like this it seems like the bad stretches on for miles in every direction but the truth is you don’t even have to think about these games at 7pm because there’s other better stuff on.

Colorado State at (1) Alabama                                  7:00 pm             ESPN2 

Colorado State isn’t a complete patsy but they’re enough of a patsy that a 28.5 point line is enticing. The under seems close to safe if you get it at 54.

Idaho at Western Michigan                                        7:00 pm            ESPN3 

Idaho’s farewell to 1-A tour continues its journey through the worst places in college football. There’s not much good that can come of this one.

Idaho State at Nevada                                                7:00 pm         ATTSNRM 

Nobody gives a shit about this game but as a mascot fight it’s a classic. A Bengal tiger versus a pack of wolves? You assume the wolves would outflank the tiger but a really huge tiger is capable of making a lot of death happen.

Louisiana Tech at WKU                                               7:00 pm           Stadium

This was a pretty cool talent showcase the last few years (even though WKU was actually boring to watch under Jeff Brohm) but I don’t know about it this year. 

(12) LSU at Mississippi State                                     7:00 pm                ESPN

Arden Key vs. Nick Fitzgerald is interesting on both sides. Key’s build and jersey call to mind nightmares of Barkevious Mingo but you’ve got to keep trying for it with athletic talent. Fitzgerald is pretty athletic in his own right. On the other side this should be a pretty good chance for Derrius Guice to get his stats to start looking impressive.

Oregon at Wyoming                                                    7:00 pm              CBSSN 

I’ve got a sadistic interest in this game. Oregon may not be good on defense but they are really fast and that should be enough to make Josh Allen look ridiculous again. 

Southern at UTSA                                                 7:00 pm  KCWX-TV/CUSA.TV

It took a little longer than I’d hoped but it looks like UTSA has reached the pinnacle of mediocrity that Larry Coker dreamed of when he started the program.

Southern Miss at ULM                                              7:00 pm                ESPN3 

I won’t see a second of it but this is the kind of unloved game that keeps me invested in football. I don’t know if there’s any single player in this one that I want to see but it’s so indie.

Tulsa at Toledo                                                           7:00 pm               ESPN3

I can’t explain what it is that make me love Southern Miss-ULM and hate this one but I hate this one.

UAPB at Ar(18) Kansas State                                    7:00 pm             ESPN3

Haha - I’m leaving this typo because it’s amazing. FBSchedules inserted the 18 into Arkansas State’s name and made this much weirder and worse than it actually is.

Bowling Green at Northwestern                               7:30 pm                 BTN 

Thank god there’s no reason to be stuck watching this.

Georgia State at (5) Penn State                                 7:30 pm                BTN 

James Franklin is horrible and wants everything to be terrible and that’s why he doesn’t let Saquon Barkley touch the ball more than 10 times per game.

Georgia Tech at UCF                            —Canceled

I’m going to look around one day and I won’t even be an oddity for loving the triple option the way I do and then it will lose its magic.

(18) Kansas State at Vanderbilt                                 7:30 pm              ESPNU 

This is somehow boring and exciting at the same time. I think Vanderbilt is actually the better team but maybe I’m overselling them in my mind now to make up for how little I thought of them before the year?

Kentucky at South Carolina                                       7:30 pm                SECN 

I’m not getting sucked into this garbage pile.

Samford at (13) Georgia                                              7:30 pm          SECN Alt. 

This is a practice game. You don’t need to watch this even if you love UGA.

Arizona State at Texas Tech                                        8:00 pm                 FSN 

I guess Arizona State fans are going berserk on social media calling the players names, asking for the coaches to be fired. They’re taking that into a Big XII game which could be just what the doctor ordered! If the doctor wants Arizona State to keep getting shitty @s from their fans. That’s a very cruel doctor but not the worst that I’ve ever heard of.

Cincinnati at Miami, OH                                               8:00 pm  FOX 19/ESPN3

This game is so bad that it’s actually a question whether it’s better or worse than an NFL game between Cincinnati and Miami.

(3) Clemson at (14) Louisville                                       8:00 pm                 ABC 

Woo! This is all that matters. If Lamar Jackson is as good in real life as he is in my mind this will be the game of the year. Somewhere in the early stages of the second quarter, the Canelo-GGG undercard will start. Hopefully that main event starts just as this main event ends. I don’t want any overlap.

(17) Miami, FL at (11) Florida State              —PPD to 10/07

In purely football terms this seems like a best case scenario for both teams to postpone the game. Miami looked rough around the edges in their first game and FSU lost their starting QB in their first game. 

Rice at Houston                                                            8:00 pm              ESPN3

Everything starting at 8pm is counter-programming but this is Ed Oliver’s show. Which is worth checking in for even against Rice.

Troy at New Mexico State                                            8:00 pm             ESPN3 

This is a conference game. That’s all I have to say about this one.

Texas at (4) USC                                                            8:30 pm                FOX 

Hilariously, on a player for player basis, Texas is about even with USC. In theory! Realistically none of those players play well with each other and there doesn’t even seem to be an actual gameplan just yet. So the question is whether or not USC can cover a pretty huge spread. I feel like no? For some reason.

Fresno State at (6) Washington                                    9:30 pm          Pac-12N

I’m really looking forward to people nationwide discovering that UDub is still undefeated when they play USC.

San Jose State at Utah                                                 10:00 pm           ESPN2

Late night football is supposed to be weird and this is where things start to devolve into pure late night degeneracy.

University of Mississippi, Oxford at California           10:30 pm            ESPN 

Duhhhhhhhh, thesche schnowfthlakes in Berkeley can’t handle conthervatiff idealsch. I want to just enjoy the oddball cross-country Power 5 matchup but now I’m just stuck here thinking of the shitty Berkeley Bears as football antifa and I have to root for them. That’s a me problem, to be sure, but I can really only ever root against Mississippi anyway. Still, fuck Ben Shapiro, fuck small government, fuck the concept of “entitlements” and fuck white supremacy bullshit dressed up in the language of intellectual curiosity or purity. Woohoo, go footballs.

(19) Stanford at San Diego State                                 10:30 pm          CBSSN 

Rashaad Penny is bulked up more than Ronald Jones II, who ran over Stanford last week, but SDSU doesn’t have anything close to the OL talent that USC does. This is going could still be on at midnight on the West Coast, hopefully it will stay competitive that long. Or SDSU can rip Stanford, I’d be good with that, too.

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[gabrielcollignon]

How GE Gives Recruiting Content a Personality Lift

How GE Gives Recruiting Content a Personality Lift

If you asked a roomful of CEOs 15 years ago what drives competitive advantage, the answer would have been straightforward: capital. Those with more of it could outspend competitors – building capacity and buying advertising – or survive on low margins.

Ask the same question of a CEO audience today, and they’re much more likely to cite human capital. The long-running PwC global survey of CEOs – now in its 20th year – underscores this idea. Across all industries, three in four CEOs say a shortage of key skills is a critical threat to their business (among technology CEOs, the availability of key skills is considered the biggest threat to the business, bigger than issues like the speed of technological change and cyber threats.)

3 in 4 CEOs say a shortage of key skills is a critical threat to their business via @PwC global survey. Click To Tweet

For a company like GE, which has redefined itself from a manufacturing company to a “digital industrial” (GE’s term) over the last decade, the ability to attract and keep top science and technology talent is mission critical. Why? GE is seeking to power the industrial internet of things, which entails putting sensors on an increasing number of assets inside factories, power grids, farms, hospitals, etc. These internet-connected assets allow companies to monitor operation and efficiency, and develop what GE calls “a system view of an entire enterprise operation.”

Former CEO Jeff Immelt says the potential size of the digital industrial market is $100 billion a year, and McKinsey estimates the industrial internet of things will create $11.1 trillion (yes, trillion) in value by 2025. “GE is poised to capitalize – if it can innovate quickly enough,” explains Isaac Brown, an industrial internet expert with Landmark Ventures, in Boston Magazine in early 2017.

.@McKinsey_MGI estimates the industrial #InternetOfThings will create $11.1 trillion in value by 2025. Click To Tweet

GE must position itself as a company where young talent can have a part in the innovation cycle – competing with organizations as diverse as Google and Cisco to Snapchat and Lyft. GE’s headquarters move to Boston in 2016 is part of that push. By locating itself in one of the top academic centers for science and technology in the United States, GE aims “to be at the center of an ecosystem that shares our aspirations,” Immelt said in an official statement about the move.

HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT:

New Tech Friends on the Marketing Block

Content Marketing Industry: What’s Happening in Hiring [Research]

Finding a voice

Two years ago, GE sponsored an ad campaign featuring a fictitious developer named Owen. The young, earnest, and awkward Owen lands a job at GE, but can’t seem to convince his friends and family to share his excitement. (In one commercial, Owen tries to explain how he’ll be making hospitals run more efficiently and helping turbines power cities, but his news is eclipsed by a friend who announces a new job at Zazzies, the app that lets you “put fruit hats on animals.”)

GE CMO Linda Boff says the campaign “was an opportunity to use playfulness to talk about why someone who’s a software developer would come to GE.” The Owen series was a raging success; interest in the careers section of the GE website rose 800 percent. And Boff says it was also “definitional,” helping to recruit key people from the company’s biggest talent competitors.

The GE CMO cautions that a lot of players inside the company, not just marketing, were responsible for the success; however, the Owen storyline was a spark. She says, “What we’ve tried to do is to create the content and the story that help shine a light that we hope captivates people and is one of the forces that gets them in the door.”

Create content that captivates people & gets them in the door at @generalelectric. @lindaboff #recruiting Click To Tweet

The real beauty of the Owen series is not the ad buy and TV impressions, but how Owen’s story trickles down through GE’s social channels. Even though he’s not real, Owen is human, meaning he can show up on channels like Snapchat and act like a lovable-if-dorky regular guy. If you were following GE on Snapchat, Pinterest, or Twitter, you would see Owen’s first day at work and the quirky pictures he shares with his “friends.” And that’s exactly the point – showing up in the channels where GE’s audience is hanging out and delivering experiences.

Remember Owen? Well, today’s his first day at GE Digital in San Ramon. Follow along on Snapchat ‘generalelectric’. pic.twitter.com/DiVKsONlMn

— General Electric (@generalelectric) September 21, 2015

More recently, GE launched a campaign called Balance the Equation, aligned with its push to put 20,000 women in technical roles by 2020. Boff says the inspiration for the campaign was a question, “What if scientists were treated like rock stars?”

If you haven’t picked up on it already, GE has a signature brand voice – one that combines its deeply intelligent innovation work with a shared wink at what it means to have a passion for technology and science. It pokes fun at employees’ love for things like wind turbines, 3D printing, or the Fingerprint of Things. The company’s content is particularly relatable if you’re part of GE’s “in” crowd of technical talent.

Boff explains, “For a company as big as ours, showing up in a way that is inherently human, accessible, and relatable is critically important. We often talk about showing up as a person would versus how a corporation would. How do you do that? With humor. A wink. A twist.”

Establish a brand voice that’s inherently human & relatable to your audience. @lindaboff #recruiting Click To Tweet

In its now trademark style, GE’s new Balance the Equation campaign and related content uses humor, smarts, and a self-deprecating twist to celebrate women scientists. The first female scientist featured was Millie Dresselhaus, an MIT professor who was deemed a pioneer in the electronic properties of materials, or the “Queen of Carbon.” (If that didn’t pique your interest, you’re likely not in GE’s target audience, which is kind of the point.)

Dresselhaus was an innovator but also an activist to attract more women to the sciences. She died in early 2017, but her legacy and others continue to inspire GE’s strategy. To give Dresselhaus the rock-star treatment, Boff’s team put her face on T-shirts and billboards, and created an emoji featuring her image. (The emoji is part of GE’s SciMoji app, an iMessage sticker app celebrating women scientists and engineers released in March to coincide with Women’s History Month.)

Taking the Balance the Equation campaign a step further, GE sponsored a bus tour that stopped at a half-dozen campuses to help students beef up their social-media profiles in preparation for landing their first jobs.

“We want to show up in ways that are unexpected and surprising,” says Boff. “You may expect LinkedIn to show up on campus to teach kids how to update their social profiles. But we work really hard to bring the brand to life in ways that people can feel and touch.”

HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT:

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Know thy people

GE makes it look easy, but what makes its content engage its audience takes tremendous soul-searching and honesty. “Our DNA is innovation, technology, research, and manufacturing,” says Boff. “It’s something we have all fallen in love with at GE. That’s our guiding light. We never try to pretend we are something we’re not.”

And for GE, that means developing storylines and content that feeds that passion in a way that’s relatable and humorous. There’s no better example of this than GE’s Valentine’s Day series, #HeyGirl, which pokes fun at a meme featuring actor Ryan Gosling. Instead of using come-hither pictures of Gosling, GE uses its founder, Thomas Edison, to inspire love: “Hey girl. Did we just share electrons? I’m feeling a covalent bond between us.” If you’re inclined to laugh, you’re the type of person who would fit into GE’s culture.

These kinds of in-group conversations are not just engaging, they’re a fantastic recruiting tool to ensure that companies attract the type of people who are going to fit into their organization. GE, after all, isn’t trying to attract just anyone to work at its organization – it’s trying to attract in-demand knowledge workers in science, engineering, and IT. Its knowing wink delivered through content has an outsized effect on those people most likely to thrive at GE. Explains Boff, “We want our various audiences to fall in love with the company.”

HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: How to Build a Content Marketing Practice in a Year: Lessons From Monster

Hear more from GE CMO Linda Boff during her keynote speech to kick off Content Marketing World on Sept. 5 in Cleveland, Ohio. Register  today and use the code BLOG100 to save $100.

A version of this article originally appeared in the August issue of Chief Content Officer. Sign up to receive your free subscription to our bimonthly, print magazine.

Cover image by Joseph Kalinowski/Content Marketing Institute

The post How GE Gives Recruiting Content a Personality Lift appeared first on Content Marketing Institute.

[lucyariablog]

How GE Gives Recruiting Content a Personality Lift

If you asked a roomful of CEOs 15 years ago what drives competitive advantage, the answer would have been straightforward: capital. Those with more of it could outspend competitors – building capacity and buying advertising – or survive on low margins.

Ask the same question of a CEO audience today, and they’re much more likely to cite human capital. The long-running PwC global survey of CEOs – now in its 20th year – underscores this idea. Across all industries, three in four CEOs say a shortage of key skills is a critical threat to their business (among technology CEOs, the availability of key skills is considered the biggest threat to the business, bigger than issues like the speed of technological change and cyber threats.)

3 in 4 CEOs say a shortage of key skills is a critical threat to their business via @PwC global survey. Click To Tweet

For a company like GE, which has redefined itself from a manufacturing company to a “digital industrial” (GE’s term) over the last decade, the ability to attract and keep top science and technology talent is mission critical. Why? GE is seeking to power the industrial internet of things, which entails putting sensors on an increasing number of assets inside factories, power grids, farms, hospitals, etc. These internet-connected assets allow companies to monitor operation and efficiency, and develop what GE calls “a system view of an entire enterprise operation.”

Former CEO Jeff Immelt says the potential size of the digital industrial market is $100 billion a year, and McKinsey estimates the industrial internet of things will create $11.1 trillion (yes, trillion) in value by 2025. “GE is poised to capitalize – if it can innovate quickly enough,” explains Isaac Brown, an industrial internet expert with Landmark Ventures, in Boston Magazine in early 2017.

@McKinsey_MGI estimates the industrial #InternetOfThings will create $11.1 trillion in value by 2025. Click To Tweet

GE must position itself as a company where young talent can have a part in the innovation cycle – competing with organizations as diverse as Google and Cisco to Snapchat and Lyft. GE’s headquarters move to Boston in 2016 is part of that push. By locating itself in one of the top academic centers for science and technology in the United States, GE aims “to be at the center of an ecosystem that shares our aspirations,” Immelt said in an official statement about the move.

HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT:

New Tech Friends on the Marketing Block

Content Marketing Industry: What’s Happening in Hiring [Research]

Finding a voice

Two years ago, GE sponsored an ad campaign featuring a fictitious developer named Owen. The young, earnest, and awkward Owen lands a job at GE, but can’t seem to convince his friends and family to share his excitement. (In one commercial, Owen tries to explain how he’ll be making hospitals run more efficiently and helping turbines power cities, but his news is eclipsed by a friend who announces a new job at Zazzies, the app that lets you “put fruit hats on animals.”)

GE CMO Linda Boff says the campaign “was an opportunity to use playfulness to talk about why someone who’s a software developer would come to GE.” The Owen series was a raging success; interest in the careers section of the GE website rose 800 percent. And Boff says it was also “definitional,” helping to recruit key people from the company’s biggest talent competitors.

The GE CMO cautions that a lot of players inside the company, not just marketing, were responsible for the success; however, the Owen storyline was a spark. She says, “What we’ve tried to do is to create the content and the story that help shine a light that we hope captivates people and is one of the forces that gets them in the door.”

Create content that captivates people & gets them in the door at @generalelectric. @lindaboff #recruiting Click To Tweet

The real beauty of the Owen series is not the ad buy and TV impressions, but how Owen’s story trickles down through GE’s social channels. Even though he’s not real, Owen is human, meaning he can show up on channels like Snapchat and act like a lovable-if-dorky regular guy. If you were following GE on Snapchat, Pinterest, or Twitter, you would see Owen’s first day at work and the quirky pictures he shares with his “friends.” And that’s exactly the point – showing up in the channels where GE’s audience is hanging out and delivering experiences.

Remember Owen? Well, today’s his first day at GE Digital in San Ramon. Follow along on Snapchat ‘generalelectric’. pic.twitter.com/DiVKsONlMn

— General Electric (@generalelectric) September 21, 2015

More recently, GE launched a campaign called Balance the Equation, aligned with its push to put 20,000 women in technical roles by 2020. Boff says the inspiration for the campaign was a question, “What if scientists were treated like rock stars?”

If you haven’t picked up on it already, GE has a signature brand voice – one that combines its deeply intelligent innovation work with a shared wink at what it means to have a passion for technology and science. It pokes fun at employees’ love for things like wind turbines, 3D printing, or the Fingerprint of Things. The company’s content is particularly relatable if you’re part of GE’s “in” crowd of technical talent.

Boff explains, “For a company as big as ours, showing up in a way that is inherently human, accessible, and relatable is critically important. We often talk about showing up as a person would versus how a corporation would. How do you do that? With humor. A wink. A twist.”

Establish a brand voice that’s inherently human & relatable to your audience. @lindaboff #recruiting Click To Tweet

In its now trademark style, GE’s new Balance the Equation campaign and related content uses humor, smarts, and a self-deprecating twist to celebrate women scientists. The first female scientist featured was Millie Dresselhaus, an MIT professor who was deemed a pioneer in the electronic properties of materials, or the “Queen of Carbon.” (If that didn’t pique your interest, you’re likely not in GE’s target audience, which is kind of the point.)

Dresselhaus was an innovator but also an activist to attract more women to the sciences. She died in early 2017, but her legacy and others continue to inspire GE’s strategy. To give Dresselhaus the rock-star treatment, Boff’s team put her face on T-shirts and billboards, and created an emoji featuring her image. (The emoji is part of GE’s SciMoji app, an iMessage sticker app celebrating women scientists and engineers released in March to coincide with Women’s History Month.)

Taking the Balance the Equation campaign a step further, GE sponsored a bus tour that stopped at a half-dozen campuses to help students beef up their social-media profiles in preparation for landing their first jobs.

“We want to show up in ways that are unexpected and surprising,” says Boff. “You may expect LinkedIn to show up on campus to teach kids how to update their social profiles. But we work really hard to bring the brand to life in ways that people can feel and touch.”

HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT:

Comedy Pro Reveals How to Bring Funny to Content [Video]

Ingenious Storytelling Gets Great Response From Science Nerds

Know thy people

GE makes it look easy, but what makes its content engage its audience takes tremendous soul-searching and honesty. “Our DNA is innovation, technology, research, and manufacturing,” says Boff. “It’s something we have all fallen in love with at GE. That’s our guiding light. We never try to pretend we are something we’re not.”

And for GE, that means developing storylines and content that feeds that passion in a way that’s relatable and humorous. There’s no better example of this than GE’s Valentine’s Day series, #HeyGirl, which pokes fun at a meme featuring actor Ryan Gosling. Instead of using come-hither pictures of Gosling, GE uses its founder, Thomas Edison, to inspire love: “Hey girl. Did we just share electrons? I’m feeling a covalent bond between us.” If you’re inclined to laugh, you’re the type of person who would fit into GE’s culture.

These kinds of in-group conversations are not just engaging, they’re a fantastic recruiting tool to ensure that companies attract the type of people who are going to fit into their organization. GE, after all, isn’t trying to attract just anyone to work at its organization – it’s trying to attract in-demand knowledge workers in science, engineering, and IT. Its knowing wink delivered through content has an outsized effect on those people most likely to thrive at GE. Explains Boff, “We want our various audiences to fall in love with the company.”

HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: How to Build a Content Marketing Practice in a Year: Lessons From Monster

Hear more from GE CMO Linda Boff during her keynote speech to kick off Content Marketing World on Sept. 5 in Cleveland, Ohio. Register  today and use the code BLOG100 to save $100.

A version of this article originally appeared in the August issue of Chief Content Officer. Sign up to receive your free subscription to our bimonthly, print magazine.

Cover image by Joseph Kalinowski/Content Marketing Institute

The post How GE Gives Recruiting Content a Personality Lift appeared first on Content Marketing Institute.

from http://contentmarketinginstitute.com/2017/09/ge-recruiting-content/

[robertvasquez763]

Stalking Bigfoot: We Go Muddin’ with Firestone’s New Off-Road Tire

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Considering that Firestone’s existing DOT mud-terrain tire, the Destination M/T, was all new way back in 2002, it’s clear that the Bridgestone subsidiary hasn’t been on the cutting edge of serious off-road rubber for your Jeep or pickup truck. But the company is no stranger to the dirt—after all, Bigfoot monster trucks have been crushing Ford Pintos with Firestone rubber for decades—and its new Destination M/T2 tire promises serious competition for the raft of new, high-tech treads from BFGoodrich, Toyo, Nokian, and others.

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Part of Firestone’s recent push to update more than half its DOT tire lineup, the M/T2, which went on sale in July, replaces the current M/T version. More important, it benefits from the many advancements made in tire design and manufacturing since back when the first iPod was trending. While our limited exposure in the hills of eastern Virginia was spent entirely on rough, sloppy trails—away from the road and other factors that would highlight the compromises inherent with any tire sporting gnarly tread blocks—we can say the M/T2 certainly impresses in the muck.

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The Destination M/T2 adheres to the conventional mud-tire formula, with large, widely spaced lugs that dig into the earth without getting clogged up by material. The 23-degree angle of the main tread, which Firestone said is ideal for optimal traction in loose terrain, stems from the company’s longtime experience with agricultural tires. There’s also a stout three-ply polyester sidewall for additional protection from rock punctures, and there’s more knobby side tread on the shoulders for when the tire is compressed under loads. Firestone claims that advancements in rubber compounds have enhanced the M/T2’s traction on all surfaces versus its predecessor, with added sipes (thin grooves) in the M/T2’s main tread blocks that vastly improve its winter-weather traction—a notable weak point with many mud-terrain tires.

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The venue for our exercise was the Overland Experts (OEX) facility outside Middleburg, Virginia—several hundred acres of technical wooded trails, river crossings, and mud bogs. Oriented toward its business of military training, OEX’s teachings are often geared to educating Special Forces operators on how to traverse remote areas while keeping their vehicles in one piece, which includes maintaining a fleet of right-hand-drive Toyota Land Cruiser SUVs and Hilux pickups similar to what the troops encounter overseas. While our preferred terrain-conquering events generally run counter to OEX’s hypertechnical, tread-lightly methods that limit virtually all wheel spinning, such a conservative approach does allow the tires to work as intended without massive inputs of bravado from the driver.

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Our test subjects were a fleet of Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Rubicon Recon SUVs wearing OE 255/75R-17 tires, half with M/T2s and the other with its primary rival, the BFGoodrich Mud-Terrain T/A KM2. While the Jeep’s incredible off-road capabilities meant we probably could have moved around pretty well on racing slicks, the Firestones did seem to hold an advantage in the mud and wet clay, particularly in how quickly the tread pattern cleaned itself, allowing for a fresher biting surface with each rotation.

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From the driver’s seat, the Firestone-shod Wranglers simply were more assertive in their traction levels than the BFGs, which tended to slip around more in the loose stuff. Whether climbing a pile of rocks or partly submerged in mud, we could almost idle the M/T2s forward with nearly constant grip, letting the Jeep’s low-range gearing do its thing. We never pushed the tires to failure, but Firestone touts the new Destination’s ultratough tread design, which in its abuse testing sustained far less damage and lug tearing than every other tire it evaluated. Nor did we get to experience the M/T2’s on-road handling dynamics or noise levels, both of which we would predict to be pretty poor and significant, given its aggressive tread pattern.

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A Guide to Off-Roading for the Uninitiated

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Slinging Mud with Rockproof, Nokian’s New Extreme Off-Road Tire

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Baja Fresh: We Sample BFGoodrich’s New On-/Off-Road Tire, the All-Terrain T/A KO2

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The Destination M/T2 is offered in 29 various sizes for 15- to 22-inch wheels and up to 37 inches in diameter. Prices climb slightly versus the current M/T, which were $150 to $320 through Tire Rack; the online retailer prices the new tire at about $175 to $440. While Firestone won’t offer sizes large enough to allow your Jeep to rival Bigfoot, the M/T2s probably won’t be to blame if you get stuck in the mud.

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