#low quality dumb shit

[s0ull3ss-p3rs0n]

This is what an average Ninjago multishipper graph looks like to me.

[jellyjamheadobb]

schools: no pda

meanwhile that one couple that are always in the hallways

[fedorah-the-explorah]

omg whatttt-- it's the secret post credit scene from the himalayan rescue caper

[scarlibis]

[curiosity-killed]

you know when something happens and you're like "eh that's annoying but not a big deal" and then hours later your brain pops back in like "hey! surprise!! i'm actually super upset about this!"

[coneyslittlefandomzone]

(low quality 19-2000 plays in the background)

[cloudeling]

ok the body paragraphs r finished but my introductory paragraph is 3 sentences and my conclusion is nonexistent So. i could either continue miserably struggling through this stupid essay Or i could just quit go to bed and finish it during my spare tomorrow. decisions decisions

[it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined]

The shortage of ethnic minority donors in the UK is a real issue (for every kind of donation! Bone marrow especially!!) because that's a factor that makes a huge difference PLUS there are increased needs for minority ethnic populations because of specific disorders like sickle cell anaemia. Please go donate if you can.

The sequel ‘Skull Measuring for beginners’ is scheduled for 2025.

[xen0b3at]

another dumb cat meme I made :P

[rubys-domain]

sometimes i wonder if i'm the right amount of critical, or if i'm just really hard to please.

[3d-wifey]

I've read that Johnny NSFW alphabet like 30 times, it was so gooddddd, there's been no good Johnny Cage smut or writing in general honestly. Your Johnny just feels so in character and you're feeding me crumbs, I need moreeee 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (that sneak peek made me levitate)

Show 'em Who I Belong To

Pairing: Johnny Cage x Reader Synopsis: Johnny has seriously pissed you off this time, like, royally. The "begging on his knees" kind of pissed off. But luckily, he knows just the thing to do to prove he’s sorry. Word Count: 2.58k Playlist: Here's a Johnny Cage playlist to read his smut or just get inspo from, I made it myself TW: Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, dom!reader, sub!johnny cage, switch!Reader, switch!johnny cage, dom!johnny cage, sub!Reader, Forgiveness, Making Up, Apology Sex, Vaginal Penetration, Recording, Sex Tapes, Exhibitionism, Begging, Hand Jobs, Grinding, Crying During Sex, johnny cage loves you, johnny cage is just really really dumb, celebrity!reader, No Spoilers, Making Out, "straight" couple, johnny's slutty little slacks, Johnny cage is a little shit, Pussy drunk, cock drunk, Praise Kink, simp johnny cage, no other canon characters show up in this, Smut, Shameless Smut, Gratuitous Smut A/N: Since the poll I put on Tumblr voted for switch!Johnny, that's what I'm doing! This chapter will mostly be sub!johnny and dom!reader with a switch at the end. It's a bit of a mixed pov, but it's mainly from the reader's pov. Nothing but Dom!Johnny in the next chapter and sorry if the quality was lacking, I've slept a total of 10 hours in a span of 72 hours. CHECK OUT THAT JOHNNY NSFW ALPHABET I WROTE, IT'S CONSIDERED CANON TO THIS! Part 2 (tbm) Ao3

Your acrylics tap a beat onto the arm of the plush white couch as you read the tweet on your phone.

" Johnny Cage spotted cozying up on set with Co-Star. Has the star finally met his match? " Your nails stop and you glance at where Johnny kneels fidgeting on the floor in front of you before looking back to the screen.

He spreads his hands. "Okay, I know this looks bad." His voice floats in the otherwise quiet mansion. "But will you please stop ignoring me?"

You look down your nose at him. "Is this enough attention for you?" You sneer and he grimaces.

"My PR team cooked this up a while ago and they've been hounding me about it for ages. It was so unimportant to me that it sorta...slipped my mind." He shrugs and your glare hardens him. " C'mon , babe, it's just a little publicity stunt our agents had us do for the movie. It doesn't mean anything." He laughs and his nonchalance about the situation is pissing you off more than you already are.

"Do I look like I'm laughing?" You fume and his brows furrow. "This isn't funny, Jonathan."

" Oof, " he winces, "government name."

You're both celebrities, you know what you signed up for when you agreed to date him after years and years of his begging and truly horrible pickup lines.

You're not mad about the situation itself, not really. You've gotten into drama before loads of times to drum up hype around a new project, but nothing like this. At least, not while you were dating Johnny. 

You're mad that you had to find out about it from the trending page on Twitter along with a slew of concerned messages from your friends, family, and manager.

You scroll down and read messages concerned fans have posted, worried that you and Johnny have broken up or, worse, that he cheated on you. But you know that he knows that you know he wouldn’t dare.

"Look at this shit." You shove your phone in his face. The screen reflects off the sunglasses that sit low on the bridge of his nose and he squints as the brightness nearly blinds him. "'I hope this isn't how she finds out.' 'I'd be so embarrassed if I was her.' 'I knew Johnny wouldn't stay faithful for long.'"

He looks from you to the screen and then back to you. "...You're mad."

You stare down at him.

"You are un- fucking -believable.” You move to stand up, but he grabs ahold of your hips.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, I'm sorry ! I didn't mean to upset you. Next time, I'll give you a heads up— I mean I'll run it by you.” Johnny corrects, pulling you closer when you try to pull away again. "What can I do to make it up to you, huh?" The muscles in his biceps flex against you as he wraps his arms around your waist. You try to stay firm, but it's pretty hard when he's pressing reverent kisses to your stomach.

You shiver from the coldness of his rings as he runs a big hand up your calf, traveling up your outer thigh to hook the hem of your dress at your hip before repeating the process up your other leg.

You want to stay mad—you are mad. This is incredibly careless and he didn't consider your feelings at all and...and you don't want him to think he can get out of trouble by kissing up to you. But, begrudgingly, you card your fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck.

"I'm still really upset about this, Johnny." You frown.

"I know, sweetheart. And I really am sorry. But, hey! I know something that'll make us both feel better." He grins up at you and you let him lead you back to the couch with a huff, dropping down once the back of your calves brush the white upholstery. 

“I’m sure you do.” You roll your eyes, spreading your legs to make room for him without thinking. “How would you —ahh !” You yelp at the sudden pinprick of pain on the skin of your inner thigh and it morphs into a moan when the pinch is quickly followed by a warm heat. You look down in time to see the pink of Johnny’s tongue as he licks over the tender spot��tender because he bit you like a damn dog!

“I’m sorry, what were you saying? I couldn’t really hear you over all those cute little noises.” You can feel the shit-eating grin against your skin as he talks. “You’re so sensitive. Definitely not a complaint—it does amazing things to my ego.” He laughs, hooking his hands under the back of your knees and pushing your legs up until the heels of your feet are balancing precariously on the edge of the seat.

He grips your hips, pulling you further down the couch and closer to his face. He moves your legs so your feet rest on his shoulders, the white polish of your toenails reflecting the light.

He leans in and you hold your breath in anticipation. You don’t want him to think he can just distract you and you’ll forget about being mad at him but—he leans in close to where the skirt of your sundress rucks up around your stomach, warm breath making you clench around nothing with each pant—but you like getting ate out almost as much as Johnny likes to do it.

You sigh as the warm, wet heat of his tongue drags across the damp seat of your panties. 

" Johnny. " You whine in frustration, fingers tightening in his sandy hair, as he pulls away as quickly as he came.

"Hold on, sweetheart. I think you're gonna like this." He grins, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. You pause as he unlocks it and presents it to you, camera on and recording you.

"What the hell are you doing?" You try to push as much disapproval into your voice as you can as you flip it from the front-facing camera to the rear one, but that’s an almost impossible task since he’s rubbing his nose up and down the crease of where your thigh meets your pussy. You end up sounding far more breathy than intended.

"What?” He grins into the camera. “You can watch this whenever you need a reminder of who I belong to." He says and if you weren't wet before, you definitely are now.

For as long as you’ve known him, Johnny has never been one to half-ass anything . It’s whole ass or nothing with him putting 110% into everything he’s faced with. However, when you first started dating, you hadn’t thought that would hold up when he had his head between your legs—yet another thing Johnny went out of his way to prove you wrong about.

The camera captures it the moment he pushes your panties to the side; he’s in his element.

There’s no preamble, no warning. Johnny dives in giving you no time to prepare for the shock of pleasure. You jerk away, but he holds onto your hips, hands becoming heavy weights you can’t lift. 

“You always taste so good for me, it’s insane.” He groans as your thighs try to squeeze his head, but he keeps them open easily. You sigh shakily at the casual show of strength. “I’d stay down here forever if you’d let me.” You bite your lip to muffle your soft moans, reminding yourself to steady the phone every few seconds, but forgetting to do so almost as soon as you do. But you can’t be blamed when Johnny gives head like he’s training for the Olympics; trying to break his previous record each attempt. You’ve been eaten out by people other than Johnny—of course, you have. It’s a requirement—but none of your past lovers come anywhere close to this. Johnny blows them out of the water every time.

That would be fine if you didn’t factor in his ego. Which would also be fine…any other day. But today, after the shit he pulled, you aren’t in the mood. This is supposed to be his way of apologizing, after all. So before he can get any ideas, you blink past the haze he’s put you in and grab the back of his neck. His back stiffens. He glances up at you and the shift is so swift that you doubt the camera even picked it up. His shoulders relax, almost limp against you, wide eyes going lidded as his grip on you softens.

“I know you can be louder than that, Johnny. I, hah , wanna hear how sorry you are. You are sorry, right?” You narrow your eyes.

His words are muffled since he refuses to take his mouth off of you, but you’re able to make out ‘yes’ and ‘princess’ which is good enough for you. Through the camera, you manage to get his pleading eyes and his hand unabashedly palming his bulge in the same frame and you smile around a moan.

"Are you hard, Johnny?" He doesn't hesitate to nod enthusiastically, and you feel yourself throb in his mouth. You're sure if your feet were on the ground he'd be grinding against your leg shamelessly. His body knows this too since his hips keep making aborted little thrusts, itching for relief from his tight gray slacks. "Heh, of course, you are. You can't help yourself, c–can you? Go on, then.”

He pauses, assessing you for a second to see if you’ll follow it up with anything else. You’re being surprisingly benevolent. He always has to work to earn your approval when you get like this, any pleasure he gets is dictated by you—not that he’s complaining—and that’s on the days when he hasn’t pissed you off. He honestly didn’t think he’d be cumming tonight, but he won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. 

He buries his tongue in you, licking from your pulsing hole to your throbbing clit as his hands work to unbuckle his belt and pull his dick out. He groans in relief once he’s free, squeezing the base of his dick so he doesn’t cum too quickly. You’re certainly not helping, shivering against him like a house in a storm and he moans in synch with you when you yank on his hair.

He freezes at the press of sharp nails at the nape of his neck. He shivers at the slight pinch of pain before leaning into it and you reward him with smoothing down the hair there. He stops the movement of his hands, but not his mouth.

“If you’re touching yourself, you’ll do it slowly or not at all. You wanna make it up to me, don’t you? Yeah ?” You hiss as he nods against you, mouth a tight suction on your clit. “Then you don’t cum until I do.” Normally he’s more bratty than this, making you fuck the submission out of him, but he must really be sorry because he does just as you say. He slows down as you instruct, his sharp brows furrowing as one of his hands grip the fat of your thigh. His other hand jerks him off haltingly like he actively has to remind himself to obey you. 

“You’re being so good for me, baby.” You gush, squirming in his hold. “ Mmh, s’fucking good.” You have to adjust your grip on his phone when he grunts at your praise, uncertain if you should jerk away or towards the vibrations. You run your nails over his scalp before yanking on his blond hair and he moans like a pornstar, hips thrusting into his hand. To the untrained eye—or ear—it seems like he’s playing it up for the camera, performing, but he’s always this loud. Especially when he’s got your pussy in his mouth.

It's almost embarrassing, the wet sounds of Johnny sloppily eating you out. Your moans mix with his and bounce around the mansion's walls with a filthy echo the longer this goes on. 

He stiffens his tongue and you know what he wants. You move your hand to the back of his head, gripping the soft strands to pull him forward. You thrust your hips with helpless, heady moans as you fuck his face. His heavy gaze burns through the camera to stare up at you with his tongue out. The corner of his mouth quirks up into a smirk and he winks. You throw your head back, eyes closed with an obscene moan and he moves forward to press his nose against your clit, tongue flat as you move his head side to side.

“Johnny , mmh, ‘m gonna, f– fuck, ‘m gonna cum!” You cry and he moans into you in response. You glance down to see his foggy glasses riding low on his nose and he stares right back, brown eyes half open but full of lust. The apples of his flushed cheeks become accentuated, sharpening with his grin. The barest hint of teeth brush your clit before pressing against it and you jerk back with the strength of your orgasm. Your mouth falls open with a repeated whine of his name, legs shaking as you hold his head still.

“Damn.” He curses, pulling away when your muscles untense. He doesn't bother wiping his mouth, wearing your slick like a trophy as he smiles into the camera. “Should’ve got that on camera. It was a money shot.” You scoff, smiling despite yourself. You pull his glasses off and sit them on your head before you press stop on the camera and toss the phone on the couch beside you, pulling him to you by the open collar of his button-up. You kiss him deep, tasting yourself on his tongue with a groan. His hands go to your hips and you wrap your legs around his waist, licking into his mouth. 

“You played dirty.” You slide your hand down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt as you go. You grab his dick, still hard and leaking against his stomach. He laughs before whimpering into your mouth at your touch, rutting up into it. You swipe a thumb across his tip where precum drips down the underside of the head. "You're so wet, baby. This all for me?" You pull away to lick yourself off him, tongue dragging across the skin of his chin as you twist your wrist with every upward stroke. 

"Are you joking? O–of course. Can, shit , can you blame me?” He puffs into your neck, hot air warming your neck as you alternate between licking and kissing his jaw. His fingers spasm around your hips, and your hands fly to his shoulders when he pulls you forward until your ass is barely on the edge of the couch. Now he’s in the perfect position to—

You gasp as he ruts against you, still sensitive as his dick slides between your pussy lips. There’s no friction with how wet you both are and with every upwards thrust he bumps your twitching clit. 

“Wait, I’m— mmnh —Johnny, I’m sensitive.” 

“Ah, ah, sweetheart. You said I can cum when you do,” you jump when he nips at your neck, strong arms wrapping around your back holding you tight to him. “Besides, I’m not done apologizing.” You rock against him despite your complaining. The overwhelming feeling only increases when he bends over you to reach something, and it’s enough to distract you from the sound a phone makes when you press record.

[oatmealmika]

What Are They Like On Social Media (Headcanons)?

feat. luffy, zoro, nami, sanji, usopp, robin, franky, and brook

requests open for other things like this!

Luffy

nami made him make an Instagram account and he did so... BUT NOT WITHOUT DOWNLOADING 8 VIRUSES THE MOMENT HE GOT ONTO IT

he started clinking on every ad he saw, of course, and now he's got to pay 100000 dollars by the end of the month or else world government will find him.

he took that as a challenge.

basic, but his username is kingofthepirates or strawhat69 or something

maybe even a pun or some shit bro

follows anybody he even slightly likes and comments dumb shit on all of their posts.

ex; luffy commenting on a post robin made w chopper "can you ask him if reindeers are real?"

takes weird angled photos of his friends and posts them (ex. forehead shots)

Zoro

username is bestswordsmanofficial

usually posts training videos, but also sometimes puts on his story a cry for help to his friends cuz he got lost again

also not the most tech savy guy

i get vibes he would straight up record himself coughing to death and post it

he went viral once, actually.

was dragged by nami to be a backup dancer for one of her tiktoks

stiffly dancing

on snapchat, he uses weird filters like the broccoli one and just sent it to everyone he knew.

Nami

username is nami.venmo.me

probably makes scams in order to get money

she has two accounts; a scamming account and a real account (both under similar usernames actually)

on snapchat, she and usopp have a 200+ snapscore

they both contemplated jumping ship when they messed it up..

matching pfps with usopp too! ex.;

nami is cookie monster, usopp is screaming man

Sanji

username is lovecook_sanji

other than posting the food he makes, he also posts aesthetic photos of him crying💀

ALSO posts photos of baths with rose petals that he only made cuz he wanted to be desperate in the caption like "such a beautiful place... i just wish that... someone could share it with me... :("

out here posting "i wish i was beautiful :(" posts for attention and zoro out here commenting back "i wish you were too💀"

blocked zoro after that

tags ONLY nami and robin in his posts whenever he posts the group

"the rest of them are just some guys 🙄"

Usopp

username is god..usopp

also is in charge of the strawhat official social media accounts

nami makes the aesthetically pleasing posts while usopp posts the funny hahas

like that time luffy slipped off ship with his mouth full of food (and bcuz he can't swim w his devil fruit) so he almost sank to the bottom

plugs his personal acc on the strawhat official acc too much

luffy used to be the manager of the account but that acc got banned...

so usopp was given the job to make a new one and manage it (no luffy you can't write the caption)

Robin

username is nico.robin

mostly posts about the books she's been reading, such as reviews

formats them nice and neatly

all her posts are very aesthetically pleasing

besides book reviews, she posts a lot of chopper

she's like a mom in that way making her kids pose for photos and takes photos as much as possible

overall very pretty account

Franky

username is franky_da_cyborg

when not posting inventions, he posts crewmates doing random things

doesn't have to be weird at all most of the posts are just straight up usopp making a sandwich or robin reading

all posts are very low quality tho lol

Brook

username is musician-brook

obv posts him playing music but also posts himself saying terrible dad jokes

"singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. then it's a soap opera."

he got the phone confiscated for that one

apart of nami's backup dancers for her tiktoks

actually works it

go grandpa go!

all right reserved. do not repost or copy my work but relogging, comments or feedback is very much appreciated! Thank you.

[anna-the-undertaker]

Im playing with an incorrect quote generator and I'm sharing them here. They are cracking me tf up.

Belphie: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to MC and not do the thing, Belphie: Well there’s a clear right answer here. Belphie: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

Satan: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- MC: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Satan: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Lucifer, recording: This is so cute.

Beel: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP- Belphie: …Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE?? Beel: BECAUSE WE WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!

Barbatos: Look, Satan, if you can fit your head down the gun’s barrel, you can assume it doesn’t have a non-lethal setting.

MC: Yes, I'm adopting Satan and you cowards can't tell me no!

Lucifer: *running towards Beel with open arms* Beel: *moves out of the way* Lucifer: Hey, why'd you move?! Beel: I thought you were going to attack me. Lucifer: I was going to hug you! Beel: Why would you hug me? Lucifer: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

Levi: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation. Barbatos: So you're just gonna wait until MC is in danger and save them? Levi: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them. Barbatos: … Barbatos: You're insane.

MC: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship. Belphie: We’re not friends. MC, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

Lucifer: You’re starting to look like me more and more every day— Satan: *Bursts into tears* Lucifer: Why are you crying? Satan: You’re ugly! I don’t want to look like you! *sobs*

*Satan and Mammon are texting* Satan: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone. Mammon: What did they change my name to? Satan: Chosen One. Mammon: Don’t change it back. Satan: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?! Mammon: I’m the chosen one.

Mammon: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

Belphie: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you it’d ruin the mystery.

Asmo: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Mammon: What happened to your nose? Satan: I used it to break some guy's fist.

Mammon: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? MC: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though… I don't know. Mammon: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Mammon: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles? Asmo: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

Mammon: look Levi, I'm not slut shaming you but… Mammon: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.

Lucifer: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. Mammon: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

Satan: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

MC: *Texts a selfie to the group chat* Hey besties!! Mammon: *Texts a selfie clearly parodying MC's* hey besties !!1! MC: I literally hate you so much.

Satan: What's this? MC, hugging Satan: Affection! Satan: Disgusting. Satan: …Do it again.

Lucifer: I am going to need you to swear- Diavolo: Fuck. Lucifer: Lucifer: …swear as in promise.

Mammon: Pardon me, but it sounds like you’re questioning my authority! Lucifer: Not at all, Mammon. Merely your primitive methods.

MC: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

Levi: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this! Beel: Apparently, we're not.

Mammon: *Reading a letter* Satan: Well, what does it say? Mammon: It’s a confession letter. It turns out MC killed my pet rock.

Diavolo: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

MC: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Diavolo and Lucifer's convo? Asmo: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. Belphie: I'm in the washing machine. Barbatos: I'm in the closet. Asmo: We accept you Barbatos. <3 Barbatos: No I'm literally in the closet. Asmo: Love is love. <3

Belphie (brainstorming ideas for pranking Lucifer): How much would a serial killer mask possibly cost? MC: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful. Belphie: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that? MC: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Belphie.

Diavolo: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Satan: Well then whose is it? Diavolo, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

MC: What’s something you guys are better than Lucifer at? Mammon: Mario Kart. Satan: Yeah, video games. Levi: Emotional vulnerability.

Mammon: Can we talk about that mass email you sent? MC: Why? It was important. Mammon: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit". Diavolo, shrugging: The people need to know.

Mammon: Can you pass the salt? Asmo: Can you pass away? Mammon: Too much salt.

*talking on the phone* Mammon: Remember how I said that MC and I were gonna have a calm night out for once? Lucifer: Yeah… Mammon: Well, we’re in jail. Lucifer: *hangs up*

MC: Go to hell! Lucifer: Where do you think I come from?

MC: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Satan: We need a distraction. Lucifer: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Diavolo, whispering: My time has come.

Mammon: I don’t know, this plan seems complicated. Lucifer: You once said that about an orange. Mammon: They don’t make sense. Apples, you eat their clothes but oranges you don’t.

Diavolo: Mammon and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Asmo: What did you do? Diavolo: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Mammon: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

[oneslimybastard]

Another underutilized aspect of N, Natural Harmonia Gropius himself, is that he's conceptualized as not just a Math Guy, but a Math Genius if we go by some interview trivia notated on Bulbapedia.

It clearly shows in the way he speaks since his (translated) dialogue (idk about the original japanese one) is full of hamfisted references to formulas and frustration expressed when the chaos of the world does not align with them — which to me is like, the core of his character, something that makes him both An Asshole to deal with but also a very intellectually curios and creative individual. It's just a brand of creativity not a lot of people can keep up with nor understand.

N likes math because a lot of math is about clearly defined variables and their relationship to one another. If you come across an inconsistency that doesn't fit any prior definitions, you iron out a new definition and suddenly the field has expanded upon itself tenfold. It aligns with how his Very Autistic Brain functions, x + y = z, if I do x to y then z will happen. If z doesn't happen, then that just means I have to identify the hidden variables within the exchange and rewrite the formula to be more accurate.

Black and White's quality of writing is. Like pokémon often is. Questionable at best. The foundations are there but the execution is dumbed down and corny because it's still aimed at kids, BW in specific really cutting the theme of pokémon trainer ethics short in favor of just "dang u beat me in the pogiebattle guess ur right!". How-ev-er. In my head, and the reason why I still find the plot of those games compelling (aside for my unhinged thirst for goth man-milf Ghetsis) is that to me they're about local cult-raised autist Normal Henry Gropus bashing his head against the world over and over to desperately try and make the formulas make sense, to distill it into variables he can understand and predict on a consistent basis, and failing miserably at it. Because even if the world is Technically made up of a bunch of chemistry that you could, in theory, predict, there's just a lot of random noise in there from microscopic complexities that fuck everything up.

Pokémon are simpler creatures (discounting the eerily intelligent ones) who will be nice enough to behave like math problems most of the time. Humans rarely extend that grace, the more N studies them like a science project the more contradictory variables pop up. They have a million thoughts in their head he doesn't have access to, that brew into feelings he doesn't understand, which leads to actions he can't do a proper traceback through. Which is frustrating, devastatingly frustrating. At least at first.

Due to how BW2 pans out and my own yearning for thematic mirroring, whereas Ghetsis gives in to the Autistic Bitterness over all these NTs he doesn't fuckign understand, I like to think N develops a sort of joy in studying people like the impossibly complex math problems we are. Because he likes math, he likes figuring shit out, he likes buying a nightmare rubik's cube and charting the squares out on a nightmare variable graph (listen i am not a math guy. i respect the hustle but my skill level is too low to accurately attempt to simulate the process in writing. im sorry math guys) so he has a home-made flexible cheat code on how to solve any possible mix-up of it. It's fun for him, it stimulates his brain and he is so stupid good at it that he can only share that joy with like a stray alakazam or metagross because he's a bit of a tarzan just hanging out in the wilderness, he doesn't know any high end mathematicians he can casually geek out about combinatorial game theory with, and the normies just do not get it .

I think this math enjoying is kind of a big part of his ~Innocence~ as well, since there's a lot of childlike glee to being a Math Guy. It's the love of problem solving as a process rather than a means to an end, it's playful, but severely misunderstood to the point where people kinda might assume things about you if you are a math guy.

N's love of math helps him love the world but it also isolates him. He's a genius, but since he can't communicate it in a palatable way it'll get overlooked in favor of him just being a loomy weirdo on the street chatting up the local patrats.

If introduced to DnD though he'd spend so much time on forging ridiculously optimized multiclass builds, then migrate to digging through old obscure sci-fi ttrpgs from the 80s with hellishly complex systems just for the funsies of learning how the presented variables behave within a variety of frameworks, but then if you actually invited him to play with your group he'd look at you like you'd just called his mom a llama.

He's a neat guy to me, STEM guy who's also one of those animal rights activists who's a little too PETA-coded, I like him :)

[folkookie97]

❝ karma is coming ❞ — jjk

— SUMMARY: ❝After feeling used by you, Jungkook wants to bring some chaos in your boyfriend's life. Karma is coming and there's nothing Jungkook does better than revenge.❞

— PAIRING: punk!Jungkook x preppy!female reader

— TYPE: suggestive, slight dark | criminal!au

— WORD COUNT: 1,225

— WARNINGS: Past/Secret relationship, Cheating, Criminal!Jungkook, Curses, Argument, Jungkook has a gang, Slight!Toxic Relationship, Open ending, Jungkook wants revenge (but never hurting you), Yoongi is Jungkook's best friend, Mentioned Jack Harlow, Reader is a preppy girl and dates a rich boy (maybe a relationship of convenience)

— NOTES: HEEEEYYY who wants a scenario inspired by the "3D" MV teaser?

— RELEASE DATE: September 28, 2023

— CROSSPOSTING: ao3

"So tell me, little princess.... what I needa do to have one more chance with you?" Jungkook walked at you the moment your feet turned the street corner and you were forced to pass by the dubious quality restaurant.

Like every Friday afternoon, at the same time, Jungkook came to you with his typical bunny smile and sparkling eyes. An expression so cute and for a few seconds it made you forget the big problem behind it.

The perfect mask to disguise a messy and broken soul.

"Jungkook… I'm late." You warned, trying to walk faster to avoid him, but failing miserably when your high heels started to hurt your feet.

Ignoring the boy who competed with him in an amateur chess match, Jungkook got up from the low-budget chair and reached you at almost the speed of light.

You wanted cursing not only your high heels that hurt every inch of your feet, but you also wanted punching Jungkook in his face for his persistence on coming closer to and for daring to look down at your entire body.

"You look really hot today." He smirked, his impure thoughts very clear while his eyes darkened and he ran his tongue between his own lips. "Hotter than ever."

The same compliments as always. The same character flaw and red flags.

"You've been more creative." You rolled your eyes, allowing yourself pausing your walk to avoid any more pain in your skin. If your quick mental calculation was right, you would still have a few minutes to rest when you got home.

"I'm sorry, little princess. But I guess this isn't a good time to say that I wanna see your ass in motion, riding my dick like a 3D video." Jungkook pointed behind him, where his blond and curly-haired friend was watching us with a curiosity and fun mix. "You know… not around Jack at least."

You just rolled your eyes again, trying your best to not be rude and give Jack your middle finger or getting arrested for hitting Jungkook's nose.

As if he was thinking about something, Jungkook poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, nibbling his side piercing in his mouth right after. You saw a flash of sadness pass across the boy's face and you ended up giving into slight worry.

Even though you shouldn't.

"Are you okay?"

His dark eyes lit up again and a regret hit you hard when you saw his dirty smirk return.

"Wow! That's the first time my little princess has worried about me since we broke up."

"I'm not your little princess. And we're not broke up." You snorted and crossed your arms, deciding to walk and do it faster than the Korean man in the black sweatshirt and white stripes. An impossible task since Jungkook would be able to catch up to you immediately even if you were trying hard running away from him.

Jungkook chuckled when he noticed your efforts to free yourself from that talk and from his pathetic praises.

"So we're still together?"

"We never even dated. To be honest I just needed something new since my relationship was boring."

Another scoff left Jungkook's lips and you knew you reached very dangerous ground. When it came to his pride, Jungkook could be a little shit. Hitting his inflated ego was as damaging and dumb like hitting your head against a wall a hundred times.

It was like picking a fight with the Devil and then begging for forgiveness and mercy.

But fate was in his favor. Jungkook would never physically hurt you. Even if his life depended on it.

"So you used me to satisfy your horny that your rich shitty boyfriend wasn't interested?" He stopped walking and you imitated him, shocked not only by his bitter words but also by the hurt following it. "I was just a distraction for a preppy girl with a dick-starved little pussy? Just because her boyfriend was on vacation?"

Your eyes widened and your hands itched to tear out Jungkook's eyes, who was now looking at you with the angrier face possible. His eyebrows furrowed into a frown so deadly it made you feel tiny.

"FUCK YOU! You knew everything from the beginning." You shouted not caring about the people around the street who were entertained by the situation unfolding.

"I thought we'd at least keep fucking around. BUT GUESS WHAT?" It was his turn to shouts. "You seem a lot more interested in being a cockslut and just use your pussy in exchange for expensive gifts from that rich bastard guy."

"At least he has a company that makes a lot of money. And you? You're nothing more than a punk boy who leads your useless life stealing people and picking fights with other gangs out there." You pointed your index finger at him as you shouted the insults pained in your stomach. "I'd rather be a cockslut to someone who has something to provide me with than having a relationship with a man who could be arrested at any moment. You're just a futureless criminal."

No caring about an answer, you gathered all your body efforts and following on your way. Jungkook didn't join you to continue the swearing match and you were relieved for that. You were no longer in the argue mood. You just wanted to get home and cry because of your anger.

It didn't take long for Jungkook returned to the chair where he was sitting before. To his surprise, Jack wasn't sitting there anymore, the place now being used by one of his other friends.

Yoongi had a freshly put out cigarette still in his mouth and a thoughtful look. Jungkook knew his best friend as well as the back of his own hand. That look just would mean one thing; quick reflections.

"What's your great idea?" Jungkook asked him, without beating around the bush due to his bad mood about the previous talk with you.

Chuckled with the cigarette stuck in his teeth, Yoongi used his left hand to brush away his dark hair falling on his face while pulling out his cell with the others free fingers. Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows when the long-haired boy showed him the talk content on the screen. Reading some messages, Jungkook saw that the other boys in his gang also looked interested in Yoongi and Jack's sudden plans.

A wicked smirk took over Jungkook and everything made more sense. Jack's sudden departure to get his van, Yoongi's arrival and even the older man's thoughtful look.

Jungkook felt a heat rise up his back almost immediately. His excitement and enthusiasm for the coming chaos increased the temperature of the sunny street even more. Without blinking, he ripped off the sweatshirt covering his torso, the black tank top underneath it allowing his tattooed arm drawn glances from the girls walking through the neighborhood.

Ignoring the other people's whispers, Jungkook turned to Yoongi with a "thirst for revenge" look. His pretty face doesn't justice to the darkness in his wicked eyes.

"Well… we needa stop at my house first to get my hammer and call (Y/N). I think she'll like to know about our friendly visit to her boyfriend's company."

Yoongi nodded, chuckling and patting Jungkook's shoulder twice. "That's it, little boy. Tell her karma is coming."

[ncityprincess]

And don’t you forget it

Pairing: bf taeyong x single mom reader ft. asshole johnny

Plot: blah blah blah this is just fiction I don’t know these people. Johnny is not very nice in this and he may bring up some abandonment wounds so proceed with caution 🫶🏾

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

“Yeah sorry babe, something…came up” Johnny slurred with a dazed chuckle. Here you were, up way earlier than usual getting your 5 year old daughter ready for her day with her incompetent daddy, and he couldn’t even be bothered to give you a heads up before he cancelled. Again.

“Yeah I can see that John” you sighed, running out of the little patience you had left. You could tell he was lying in bed with whichever chick he picked up last night. “You know, being hungover on a Tuesday isn’t a good look. And neither is flaking on your daughter for the umpteenth time in a row.” You were ready to tell him off even more, but you were interrupted by a woman’s cartoonishly seductive voice.

“Johnnyyy baby, come play with me again.” A woman with a thin sheet wrapped around her body came into the frame and leaned down to press sensual kisses into Johnny’s neck. He groaned obnoxiously, making you roll your eyes. “In a minute, doll” he purred.

“Ugh, you’re such a joke. You know, Kaylee is going to kindergarten this year. She’s not dumb John, she’s gonna grow up to resent you for abandoning her like this.” Your voice kept getting louder and louder in the echoey bathroom. You had dealt with his carelessness for far too long.

“Look I’m sorry ok?” He said nonchalantly. “Let’s just try again next week. Gotta go, give Kaylee a kiss for me, will ya?”

“FUCK YOU” You shrieked, and hung up the FaceTime call before slamming your phone onto the bathroom counter. You could feel the hot tears forming in your eyes already. Once again, your child’s father had made all these extravagant plans for your daughter, just for him to not follow through.

A faint knock on the en-suite bathroom door made the shame of the situation set in even more for you. You took a deep breath and let out a defeated “come in.” It was Taeyong, your current boyfriend and first relationship after having your daughter and separating from Johnny.

Even in your state of frustration, you were able to admire how beautiful he looked with his messy bed head and navy blue boxers hanging dangerously low on his lean hips.

Your relationship with johnny all came to a head when he had made the final screw up that made you gain the courage to break up with him. He missed Kaylee’s 3rd birthday party because he was out doing his usual routine of getting hammered, and ended up getting into a bar fight for one reason or another. he had to spend the rest of the night sobering up at the local jailhouse, thus missing his baby girl blow out her candles.

After spending the better part of a year beating yourself up over your break up and blaming yourself for Kaylee not having a good father in her life, you decided enough was enough. Johnny needed to figure his own shit out, and do his own healing. His demons have nothing to do with you or your daughter, and it wasn’t your job to fix him. You made the decision to try the co-parenting thing, but it was easier said than done.

On one spring day, Taeyong had approached you at a cafe to tell you how beautiful you looked in your yellow dress. You couldn’t even look him in the eye, too embarrassed to receive such a compliment. It was the first time you had actually felt seen that way in a while. From there, your relationship flowed like water. Everything just came naturally for the two of you. Kaylee absolutely adored Taeyong, and he loved to spend quality time with her. He would take the three of you to see the latest Disney movie, go to the water park, and treat you to ice cream dates. Everything just felt. Natural.

But of course, the great co-parenting dilemma always lingered.

“Hey” he greeted with a softly with a small, gentle smile.

“I hate him Tae. I hate him so much!” By now the dam had broke, and the tears started flowing. Taeyong immediately embraced you and rubbed your back soothingly.

“My love…” he cooed, but let you continue.

“Why does he get to keep doing this to us? To her? He—he doesn’t even care that he’s hurting Kaylee. And once again, I’m left to break the news that her father doesn’t want to see her.” You sobbed.

This song and dance of johnny attempting to be a father had gone on for far too long. When you were pregnant, you were convinced the three of you were going to be a happy little family forever, but once Kaylee was born, Johnny had changed. A lot. He partied till 4 am, came home plastered, and did the same thing all over again the next day. You were the only one getting up at all hours of the night to feed your daughter and change her. You were cooking all the meals and cleaning the house. You were there to pick up the pieces when Johnny messed things up. You felt like a single parent in your own home. After three years of failing to be a good father to Kaylee, you made the decision to break up with him and asked him to move out of your house.

“He’s a coward. Any man that can’t take responsibility for their child is immature and selfish. We’ll figure this out together baby.” Taeyong held you for a few more moments and pulled away to cradle your face in his warm hands. You looked up at him through tear-stained lashes. His eyes held so much sincerity and reassurance.

“The day doesn’t have to be totally ruined. How about the three of us go to the Zoo! They just opened up that new butterfly exhibit, those are Kaylee’s favorites.”

You sniffled, making taeyong’s heart swell. “Yeah?”

“Of course.” He said softly. Taeyong wiped the last few straggler tears that were left on your cheeks. “You’re too good to me, Tae” you whined. “Nonsense, nothings to good for you, my love. As long as I’m around, you and Kaylee’s happiness are my top priority.”

He leaned down to press a soft kiss against your lips. Taeyong’s kindness was one of the things that drew you to him the most. He was so selfless and never made you feel bad about being a single parent. The overwhelming love you had for him made you fall deeper into the kiss. You wanted to forget all about this situation with your ex.

After a few moments of passionate kissing, taeyong gently grabbed your hand and guided you back into the main bedroom. He stopped right in front of your full length mirror. Taeyong stepped behind you and ran his hands up and down your sides. “Look love, look at yourself in the mirror. Aren’t you so beautiful?” He whispered into your ear.

You cast your timid gaze into your own reflection, noting taeyong’s hungry eyes staring into yours through the mirror. You could feel the front of his body pressed against your ass. You felt yourself getting damp at the sensation of taeyong’s morning wood. You quickly looked down at your feet, the intimate sight in front of you was too much to handle. “Tae come on…”

“Ah ah ah, say you’re pretty. Tell me how pretty you are.” he raised your head back up with gentle fingers and looked down at you. He pressed slow, intentional kisses into your neck, making your eyes roll back.

“I’m—I’m pretty” you finally breathed out.

“Yes *kiss* you *kiss* are *kiss*”

Your legs felt like jelly. If it wasn’t for taeyong’s strong arms wrapped around you, you surely would have melted onto the floor. His one hand snaked up the front of your body, past your tank top covered breasts and settled around your neck. His piercing eyes met yours in the mirror once again “and don’t you forget it.”

Taeyong pulled your tank top off of your body, cursing when he saw your bare breasts. He played with your nipples, admiring the way your ass started to grind against his stiff dick.

“Mmm, I want you” You moaned out. Taeyong guided you onto the bed and laid you on your back. “I’m all yours, my love.” He pulled off both of your bottoms and stroked himself a few times. You both moaned once he finally entered you. The delicious stretch of his cock got rid of whatever lingering thoughts of johnny you had in your mind.

Taeyong wrapped your legs around his hips and picked up the pace. He caressed the side of your face, smiling down at you. “You feel so good baby” he grunted. You loved how gentle and sweet he was being, but you needed something a little different in this moment.

“Tae…pound me, please?” You begged. Taeyong slowed his movements and a smirk grew on his face. “Anything for you, my love”. Before you knew it, you were flipped over and placed on all fours. Taeyong slammed back inside of you, making you cry out.

“Fuckkkk just like that!” You grabbed onto your headboard for dear life, partially to stop it from banging against the wall. Kaylee was only a few doors down.

Taeyong let out a guttural groan, loving the way your walls squeezed his dick. He had a vice grip on your hips, pounding his lower body into yours. “Shit, feels so good baby. You’re so wet.” Your arousal was dripping all over your thighs and his dick, making it nice and easy for Taeyong to piston in and out of you. The obscene noises of pleasure and skin on skin caught up to you, and you were ready to burst any second now.

“Baby I’m gonna cum” you whined, toes curling in preparation for your orgasm. Taeyong reached around to play with your clit, rubbing it in small, tight circles. You couldn’t hold on anymore, and allowed your high to wash over you.

“Oh good girl, I’m right behind you baby” Taeyong praised. He sloppily thrusted into you a few more times before blowing his load inside of you. You whined at the overstimulating feeling, enjoying the sound of taeyong riding out his own high.

He finally pulled out of you, and you both collapsed onto the bed side by side. You caught your breath, and turned to face him. He was already staring at you with sleepy, satisfied eyes. “I love you Tae, thank you. For everything.”

Taeyong caressed your hip. “I love you more baby. Now, let’s go see where Kaylee wants to eat for breakfast before we go to the zoo!”

The end ❤️