#loving their damaged bisexual boyfriends by far

[murdercrowsblog]

Doesn't anyone else want to take Wilson home and feed him and bathe him and swaddle him?

I love him so much. He is my thirdest my specialist boy.

I have a request for House MD tumblr and RSL tumblr.

I’m having probably the worst day in a long time. Do you mine reblogging this with your favorite picture of Robert sean leonard or favorite picture from House?

I just need something to make me smile a little right now. i’ll even add some of my favs

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: In Which Gojo Satoru Commits Regicide.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader (JJK).

Word Count: 0.7k.

TW: Mentions of Consensual Sex and Off-Screen Violence. I Am Coping, But I Am Also Pissed. Be Patient, I Beg of You.

Live Dove: Tender and Sweet.

You’d been a little confused when Satoru came home uncharacteristically giddy in spite of the bitingly cold February weather, and a little more than confused when he said he had something to show you, took you by the arm, and teleported you out of your apartment entirely (after waiting for you to give your clear and enthusiastic consent, of course). You had no idea where he was taking you, but it only took a single second of whipping your head in either direction, a single glimpse of those awful bright yellow curtains and tacky eagle rug, to know where you were.

“Satoru,” you gasped, and his grin widened. “Is this the oval office?”

“The one and only.” His voice was low and smug, his tone more than enough to prove that he already knew you like your surprise. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he swept the content the presidential desk in the floor with his free hand and lifted you onto its outer edge, placing himself in the space between your open legs as if brought there by a gravitational pull. You draped your arms around his neck, pulling him into a long, deep kiss as sweet as apple pie, or funnel cake, or other true symbols of American culture that were formed through a broad, grassroot endearment rather than a bunch of gross old men deciding they’d look cool on a flag three-hundred years ago.

Reminded of gross old men, you pulled away with another sharp gasp. “But, ‘toru, what if he catches us?”

You had no problem with getting your back blown out by your loving boyfriend in one of the most sacred rooms in the United States, but if that lead-paint poisoned geezer happened to walk in (if he even could walk on his own, anymore), it’d totally ruin the mood. Satoru only laughed. “Don’t worry, baby,” And then, flashing you a quick wink, “I made sure to clear the place out for us.”

“Satoru, you didn’t!”

“Guess some fascists just can’t handle their blunt force damage,” he said, shrugging. Suddenly, your expression dropped, and Satoru noticed right away. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Well, it’s not that the racist, senile felon didn’t deserve to have his skull caved in by a bisexual transgender man – since, y’know, we’re both bisexual and transgender.” Satoru nodded, affirming the fact that you two were similarly transgender and also bisexual, which you were. “It’s just – now that misogynistic white supremacist who jerks off to Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale every night before fucking his couch is going to be president, and that that kind of sucks too.”

“James David Vance?”  Satoru asked, refusing to use his initially and therefore highlighting how stupidly pretentious his name was. “You think too little of me, sweetheart.”

Possibly for the third time, you gasped. “Is he…?”

“Mhm. Took care of him right before I came home, got him right as he was coming out of his filler appointment. Beat him to death with a copy of his own book and everything, after leaving it a one-star review on Goodreads, of course.” Again, he shrugged, but smile gave away his self-satisfaction. “It’s all in a day’s work for the world’s strongest and most politically active sorcerer, I guess.”

“But, if that pathetic old man and his castrated lapdog are both dead, then who’s the president?”

“Check the news, baby.”

You fished your phone out of your pocket as Satoru sucked hickeys into your neck, obviously waiting until he had your full attention to go further. Again, you gasped. You were starting to lose count of how many times that’d happened, so far. “Abortions and insulin are provided upon request and also free now?!”

“Oh, wait, are they?” You turned your screen in his direction, and Satoru hummed in approval. Everyone’s quality of life had gotten a lot better since your good friend, Nanami Kento, was placed onto the Supreme Court in the final days of Biden’s term. “Sick. Not what I was talking about, though – scroll down.”

You scrolled down, and gasped once more. Your throat was starting to hurt. “Everyone in the country’s unanimously ellected the first female president?”

“Not just any female president,” he said, smirking and tapping on a trust-worthy article from a reliable and non-partisan source. “Say her name for me, baby.”

The final gasp you gaspt was the loudest and most gasp-like of all.

“Hatsune Miku?!”

[rogueddie]

Professor Steve has a lovely bunch of advanced placement high school students, they're so kind and always able to create a relaxing aroma that doesn't make students who are introverts feel suffocated by the room, he would know (granted there were times with heated discussions). He's been able to take notice and see them grow. But sometimes they're just a bit too good without knowing it.

They all knew Steve and Rockstar Eddie were together, if the random rants about his husband were anything to go by along with the ring they all point out sometimes.

However the room was tense now that the news and every article was filled with rumors of Eddie Munson Caught Openly Cheating With A Mysterious Man.

They didn't know what to believe but the way Steve was so anxious and trying to play it off, they gathered the rumor was true and there was a divorce happening soon. He rambled sometimes that the big day was coming and he's bit his poor nails down to the point they were concerned he'd eat his fingers next.

So, they openly been beginning to talk about how Eddie Munson didn't know he had something good and he deserved better. Anything and everything they thought would make him feel better but he gave a forced smile and scrunch of his nose at the words and implications. His own words were stuck in his throat, the lump forming was pushing them down below as his stomach turned.

Eddie cheating was not what was happening nor was it like everyone thought.

Yes, Steve and Eddie have always been out there about their relationship and people knew they were together because of a reporter who asked about it when his band began to grow bigger. However, Eddie wasn't one to talk about his personal life with cameras shoved in his face (due to the fact he didn't like their lives to be affected by such negatively). But it wasn't the only reason, their boyfriend politely asked not to be publicized for the time being.

Argyle, oh their sweet boyfriend Argyle, didn't want it aired out, so they did as he wished with no problem. It was safe that way for Argyle because his parents always knew he was bisexual but dating two men had already swept them off their feet, he didn't need paparazzi shoving their big noses in their business. Plus, it wouldn't look good for their company image at the moment. And due to the homophobia at the time, it was safer.

And so Eddie wasn't cheating, far from it, he was just a boyfriend who can't help taking any opportunity to ravish his lovers and leave marks for days.

And Steve was nervous about a date but it was one of Argyle's parents coming over for dinner and if Steve knew anything about having old fashioned rich parents it was that everything had to be perfect. So he was losing his mind trying to make sure it was perfect.

the added tension of when the press will find out who Eddies mystery man is would only stress Steve out so much more too bc there's no way that would stay under wraps for long, the press are rabid

I can only imagine how damage control for that getting out would be bc they wouldn't being keen on actually denying or lying about that, and not just because it would essentially be them throwing him to the dirt

and it's probably something they want to openly talk about- it's not that they ever wanted it to get out but I can only imagine how excited Eddie would be to finally get to talk about how lucky he is to have two amazing guys in his life who love him just as much

but, Gods, the horror show that would cause at dinner. his parents would be born in, what, the 50s latest? yikes my guy

although it would be hilarious if the dinner went perfectly and Argyles parents even jokes about him being his boyfriends mystery man or something because they've had time to adjust to it, mostly thanks to Steve (everyones mom loves Steve)

but also

ASDFG ASDFS S RFGDSI SDKFJH aAS

[chipped-chimera]

Okay gimmie a sec I need to scream about being a Lesbian and my frustrations around it as someone signing on late.

Will I post this? Idk. But I'm about to blow a gasket.

I love being lesbian, okay. It's the first time it felt something has FIT properly. It's like when I got my Autism diagnosis - suddenly everything has context and MAKES SENSE. It feels like HOME.

But the more I learn about history in terms of wlw, and look around for representation and shit now that I FINALLY got where I am ... the more depressed I get. In a way, being bisexual was easier. It was easy to find rep. To feel rep. People were generally defensive of the label, stamped out Pan/Bi discourse most of the time and defended it loudly and with pride! I was happy in that label at the time, though it wasn't for me in the end. I felt safe. Validated. Accepted.

Lesbians? I feel like the label has been a battleground since the moment I stepped foot into it. I am seeing conversations swung around with all the grace and sharp edges of a mediaeval flail with the complete disregard of healthy boundaries others have, which again - knowing the HISTORY of how lesbianism has been interpreted over time is just ... it's misogyny in another coat. Whether internalised or intentional it is still here and it is still damaging. I sit here wondering why it's okay to have gay exclusive or trans exclusive or bi exclusive spaces but if a Lesbian tries to create one it is absolutely BATTERED for being 'exclusionary'. I mean, I know why it's like this. It's the fucking TERFs. The TERFs poisoned the water. So now a lot of lesbians feel compelled to open spaces to all as an assurance to keep them out, and in turn that is isolating. I desperately search around for people to relate to, to help navigate this world I've come into so late: I am lost, I need help, I am so isolated and alone.

And I can't find anything. Or its few and far between. I have to sift through walls and walls of experiences that while valid, are not mine. They don't help. I see lesbians getting attacked for expressing their pain over things like this, that lesbian bars are on the decline. I see headlines about a women exclusive bar as part of a temporary art exhibition being taken to court in my country by some man who filed for discrimination. I read the history of Lesbians in the American West, poorly documented as it is, that 'Lesbians had it better' than gay men because 'romantic friendships' were normalised between women - because no one believed a relationship could be 'real' unless a man was involved. Kissing and sleeping with your female friend was fine - you were just expected to 'grow up' and eventually conform to the patriarchal society structure of getting married and having children. Only men could become permanent 'confirmed bachelors'. The top Reddit related to lesbians is for porn. That objectification even invades the lesbian tag here, on a site where NSFW content has nearly been completely expunged. I know it's shit like this, way back in the 2000s was the reason I just could not accept being lesbian. I couldn't see myself in it because it was so objectified and the thought of 'engaging' in it felt gross. And it feels disgusting now.

I grew up in an environment where Lesbianism was considered something people did for attention or clout, to become more attractive to men. I see posts even now of angry lesbians venting about being predated on by bisexual women, who only mention way later that their 'boyfriend is feeling left out :('. So while it's not as bad as it was, it's still there. It's just now no longer AS socially acceptable.

So I think I understand why it took me so long. I think my mind was trying to protect me from all of this. Because although being Lesbian feels like home, I feel even more invisible. Bisexuals always were joking about being 'invisible', but as a Lesbian I feel like I don't even exist. I'm on another plane of reality. If I try to stick my head out there and make myself visible I am shamed, ridiculed, second guessed, invalidated. I see it happening everywhere, every damn day.

I see it in the shitty wlw fic ratio in nearly every fandom on Ao3. I see it in Lesbian Day of Visibility being so quiet on Tumblr that I missed it. I see it in the comments section of a relationship columnist who also came to her own realisation about being lesbian late, being told she 'just needs to find the right man' to fuck her right, she's not a lesbian! Fucking a man is the solution - even though she was married and in a het relationship for years. Even as she fights back with studies showing how wide the gender orgasm gap is.

Everywhere I turn, I am told I am not valid. That my opinions don't matter. That my preferences aren't real because a man isn't involved in some way, and it's only for THEIR entertainment when it is acceptable. I see lesbian spaces filling with bisexuals and transgender women and little lesbian voices left. I hesitate to write the last sentence because I know of the ire I could invoke by simply stating that.

I love being Lesbian. It feels like home. But I'm in an empty house with cracked windows and if I make the slightest noise someone throws a bottle through the window at me. I feel unsafe, scared, belittled, isolated and so, so fucking alone. I don't feel proud. I almost wish I could go back to being Bisexual. But it doesn't work that way. I can't keep pretending I'm something I'm not anymore, that has taken up and destroyed so much of my life and health over the years. And the idea of going back, trying to bring men back into focus feels physically disgusting. I spent 10 years in a het relationship, I think I gave it a good go and it WASN'T FOR ME. And I shouldn't need to say I have dated or fucked a woman for that to be valid either.

I don't know where I'm going with this. All I know is I feel like shit and I don't even know where or how the find people to help me through this. And it fucking hurts.

[katsushika-division]

Happy Pride Month!

Happy Pride Month everyone! Hope you all are doing okay! Be safe and have fun celebrating! You matter and who you love and who/what you identify as matters as well! ❤️🧡����💚💙💜💖

Last year I only managed to do this with Wicked Requiem. So this year in celebration, I decided to reveal the romantic and sexual orientation of Death Row Block! I hope you enjoy them, and I apologize if I unintentionally offend someone.

— Akihisa

Demiromantic Bisexual 

Even after his fiancee’s death, Akihisa has refused to fall in love again. She was the only person he ever truly loved, and to love someone else would feel like betraying her. Truthfully, Akihisa would be perfectly fine with never falling in love again. 

On matters of sex, Akihisa is open to sleeping with both women and men having experimented during his younger years. However, Akihisa is quite reserved with his sexuality both due to growing up in a less accepting time and out of his own personal preference.

— Touya

Panromantic Omnisexual

Touya loves everyone no matter what a person identifies as. Male, female, non-binary, etc. it doesn't matter to him as long as you show him affection Touya just falls in love and sees a person for who they are. A part of him hopes to find someone who’ll love him, trauma and all, as he is terrified of being left alone, especially after all the times he's been rejected.

On matters of sex, Touya is open to sleeping with all genders. As long as they can satisfy him Touya is open to sleeping with anyone no matter what they have in their pants. Sex is also…complicated for Touya. It is also further complicated by the fact that as a result of his trauma Touya is hypersexual having sexual desires that are far stronger than most people. Touya also somewhat views sex as a tool for survival. As it was the only way he knew how to get money, food, and shelter.

It was his boyfriend Kaiji Sano of Kobe who showed him how euphoric sex can feel with the right partner and mindset. It's some of the best sex Touya has ever had and is miles better than the mindless and desperate fucking he's done before. Plus, you'd think after getting into a relationship Touya would slow down on the sex but nope getting together with Kaiji has only increased his already high libido. While normally he would sleep with Kaiji to satisfy both of their urges Touya knows this can't always be possible and is okay with himself and Kaiji sleeping with other people as long as they come back to each other.

— Rintaro

Greyromantic Pansexual

Rintaro has little to no interest in romance. That isn't to say Rintaro hasn't felt any romantic attraction before; it's just extremely rare for him. It also doesn't help that after growing up with his abusive father who slept around and an absent mother, he doesn't know what romance looks like. Truthfully, Rintaro thinks he is far too damaged to truly love someone. 

On matters of sex, Rintaro doesn’t care what is inside a person’s pants. If he feels attraction and they’re willing, Rintaro has no problem bringing them to his bed. He doesn't give a damn what society thinks about that, and anyone who gives Rintaro hell is quickly going to find themself at the mercy of one of his bombs. 

[transingthoseformers]

Top 5 Decepticons?

5: tfp soundwave. The mans is amazing with he groundbridge skills and has a very pretty design. The datacables are by FAR an interesting idea and I wish I could have a visor like his. He's the oil in the Nemesis's joints and one of the few characters whose body language i can not only read but enhances him.

4: sadly mtmte Tarn. His design is interesting, he's pathetic as hell and that means i must bully him and want to fuck him. The mask is cleverly designed, he interacts with the rest of the DJD in an interesting way, and his Voice is a cool concept and i wish i could further understand how it works. I hate him so much that I'm obligated to put him in juuuuust out of the top three

3: g1 Starscream. His ass is Fun. I absolutely love his color scheme, her helm looks so discordant from the white/red/blue frame that it seems like Starscream is in a full body suit. Her persistent desire to become the leader of the Decepticons, the random screaming like yes! I also have major issues keeping my voice down and I wish i could just scream please. Starscream was a scientist and had a frozen boyfriend and is 100% the face of g1 in my opinion

2: tfa Strika. Tbh we don't see a lot of her in series but I enjoy her design, the anomalous marriage to Lugnut, and in general wish we could see her more in future series girlboss needs to come back. Her being a general makes me have so many questions about the tfa Decepticon command structure besides megs the sic and the tic, and fr her colors are super pleasing and I enjoy how she's not some little lithe mech who looks like a living barbie doll no she's built to cause some damage. She's big, she's destructive, she runs her shit well, and she has serious bisexual husband energy

1: you know full well I'm putting Megatron here, and as far as continuity I cannot decide. I love tfp Megatron's obsession with the purple crack and his design and im biased as that's the first megan i was introduced to and the one i find myself going nuttiest for fanon depictions of him. I find mtmte Megatron so intriguing especially his introduction to the flying asylum known as the Lost Light and the slow and steady redemption arc. I Love how tfe Megatron not only has a human buddy but hasn't lost the g1 energy— instead he's channeled it to help people. BW Megatron is fucking hilarious with his yessssss and his face and being Inferno's royalty. G1 Megatron is So Goddamn Erratic in just the best way possible and I've seen so many fun depictions of him. TFA Megatron is amazing because we see him succeeding at playing nice with the humans, he hates Earth so goddamn much it's hilarious, instead of dealing with tfa Starscream's bullshittery he just up and shoots them, and I honestly think it was a good decision to have him wired into the lab as a head in the first season. Plus, in general you can see the attitude that people have towards Megatron changing and how he's slowly changing depiction to depiction. He's gone from your average literally and metaphorically two dimensional character to a massively intriguing mech known to be many people's favorite.

[becuzmdsaidineededpersonality]

We also need to discuss the straight washing going on in a lot of the adaptations on Amazon Prime. I am tired of when I bring this up people brush it aside like it's not a big deal or roll their eyes and get mad that I am "ruining the fun".

Like I am sorry the fact that I am frustrated over the fact an enormous corporation is erasing lesbian and sapphic women in their adaptations.

Here's what we have so far

In the Invincible adaptation, War Woman is no longer a lesbian. The first episode...for those of you who aren't familiar with the Invincible comics...is based on Invincible Issue #7.

The episode plays out pretty similar to the comic...showing snippets of the Guardians lives before they are called to their headquarters to unknowingly meet their end. Most of these scenes actually can be put right next to each other and be identical.

Three of the guardians snippets have been changed largely in the series. Green Ghost and Martin man are given some actual backstory instead of just going on a "stop a villain quest" together like in the comics...which is fine.

But then we get to War Woman.

In the comic, War Woman is in the apartment of her girlfriend who is making her breakfast when all of sudden they are attacked by a stone statue sent by her mother, War Woman suits off and fights him off, and then she turns to ensure her girlfriend that she will have her company move her out of the apartment and help pay for the damages. Her girlfriend asks if she is alright. She says she will be fine but then gets the alert from Guardians HQ.

This scene has been changed in the animated adaptation to her outside of her company. She is discussing humanitarian costs to her product when she gets the alert. Her secretary, who looks extremely similar to her girlfriend in the comics, sighs when the alert rings out and tells her "she has done enough for the world."

This is straight washing.

It gets even worse when you get to season 2 and see how the show writers go out of their way to not mention War Woman at all. Every single other guardian...literally every single one...has had some sort of plot dedicated to focusing on their loved ones and their pasts except for War Woman. The Immortal comes back to life in both seasons. Red Rush's fiance and Green Ghost's boyfriend both have plotlines with Debbie in the first and second season. Aquarius's wife and Darkwing's sidekick have plotlines from the comics involving Mark fighting them in season 2. Hell, even Martian Man's adoptive daughter makes an appearance as one of the patrons in Amber's soup kitchen in the first season and we get to go to Mars twice and Omniman takes the time to talk about how he was kicked out of his home at the funeral...but War Woman's "security" outside of being an emotionless background character at the funeral is noticeably absent from the entire animated Invincible storyline. In fact, we know next to nothing about her backstory and who she was before Omniman killed her.

Then we have Red, White, And Royal Blue. I have already gone into details with this, so I will just copy and paste from another post I made on this subject:

"I think another important thing to talk about was the removal and erasure of queer women in the adaptation and overall sexism in the adaptation. As you said, things have to be cut and that is understandable. But also, how you portray things says something and the sexism for the writing in this movie was pretty glaring.

Nora's bisexuality is not mentioned a single time throughout the story. Also, as many Jewish fans of the book pointed out, neither is her Jewish ethnicity. She is only Pez's love interest and a sideline cheerleader for Alex/Henry's relationship. All of her personality and talents and purpose in the book outside of just being an ally and friend to Alex is gone.

June being removed was a very interesting choice that really diminished Nora's character even further. It's even more frustrating when you realize they easily could have included a mention of her bisexuality in the scene where they are discussing the kiss...

While they did cast a trans actress to play Amy, which is always nice, any mention of her being trans or her girlfriend are completely gone. Again, they should have just kept what they had in the book where she wears a trans pin. It's subtle but powerful. Or just have her say a one-liner about her girlfriend on the plane ride over to Henry."

And then we have Hazbin Hotel. While yes, Charlie and Vaggie are canon and this is shown explicitly (thank fucking God), you wouldn't have been able to know that from the summary promos of what Amazon was releasing, in which they repeatedly refer to Vaggie and Charlie as "best friends".

And I know these can't be the only ones...but the fact there are three is horrible and it's so frustrating when people just do not give a shit about the queer erasure and straight washing of queer women.

amazon prime video canceled a league of their own, paper girls, the wilds, but red white and royal blue can get a sequel… so i guess representation does matter just not wlw representation😇😇😇

canceling the wlw is happening on tv networks and other streaming platforms too so dont tell me “oh its just amazon”😇😇😇

[chemicalpink]

Lonely Hearts Club ♡ BTS OT7

Pairing: female reader x OT7

Warning: smut. polyamory. kinda voyeurism (? like- how else are you supposed to make an 8 people intercourse work.

A/N: this has a very poor representation of polyamory ok. It actually contains everything that is not how polyamory works, but it’s in favour of the theme. This is my last work for the Electra Heart Series

Summary: January to December, do you wanna be a member? In this Lonely Hearts Club, do you want to be with somebody like us? 

Genre: smut

Word Count: 4.5k

“Where are you going Kookie?” Taehyung called from his spot cuddled on Jimin’s side without really tearing his eyes from the screen as they both watched some movie on the couch, a usual Friday night. 

Jungkook paused for half a second as he made sure he had everything in his pocket before heading to the door “Out”

“Out where?” Jungkook groaned loudly at the questioning, as if it were nothing common within their relationship, determined to extend the silence in the room long enough to be comfortably dismissed from the conversation.

“Out with that girl he has yet to come clean to” Yoongi mentioned as he made his way to the living room, bag of chips in hand and stuffing a few inside his mouth as he did “which by the way, I’ve told him a thousand times before, it’s not decent to keep on leading her on”

“I’m not” the youngest murmured under his breath, which earned him a pointed look from Yoongi, followed by the TV pausing and both of the other men to turn their attention to him “I’m not leading her on”

A hand was placed on his right shoulder from behind, making him startle, wide doe eyes in full display as Seokjin voiced his input in the situation “You’re going out with a girl that we all know likes you while being a relationship, Jungkookie” Seokjin made the most overdramatic pout “I’d say that’s leading her on, plus, placing us second”

Jungkook let out a heavy sigh, already knowing he was about to be very late to the date “You guys all said you were okay with me dating out of the circle”

“You know we’re messing with you, come on, you’ll be late for your date” he’d have to thank Namjoon for always coming to the rescue when Seokjin was being a little bit too much.

If someone was to tell him he would end up in a polyamorous relationship he would have laughed in their face. If someone was to tell him that he would end up in a polyamorous relationship with the six older men he was forced to share his college unit with, he would have crumbled apart right there and then, it was no secret whatsoever that he had the biggest crush on the six of them the moment he first saw them, call it gay panicking or whatever.

And you see, things were going smooth, at least as smooth as they could be when 7 people are dating each other, minus the stares when they went out in public, the questioning of their not so close friends and the constant battle royale when it came down to sleeping arrangements, it was smooth. Until you came along. Sure, after eight months of him joining the polycule, and people unable to think outside their monogamous mindset, a fair number of guys and girls had approached him, which was always meant to go in either of two possible ways:

First, and best, case scenario, they were only interested in a fling, a one night stand that ultimately turns into a somewhat friendly distanced greeting when on campus, it was a thing between the seven men after all, being able to casually date outside the circle and understanding that the strongest emotional bond was with their boyfriends at home, although… Jungkook was the one doing it most often, Jimin following him casually in indulging in the pleasure of casual sex from time to time.

Second, and the hardest scenario due to him having the softest heart (if having Hoseok cutting ties with his potential partners in more than one occasion is anything to go by) is when after the first scenario, people keep trying to get in touch with him, not that there’s anything wrong with it but he wasn’t interested, plus, when he went as far as explaining the whole polyamory situation, people would dismiss it as an non-existent relationship or worse yet, there was a guy that went as far as telling him that all he needed was to be ‘dicked down good enough’ for him to stop being polyamorous; Yoongi had gone and had a friendly talk with the dude when Jungkook went home that night crying (he might have sent the guy to ER but there’s really no way to know)

So really, third case scenario was way out of control for him, said scenario being you. Never asking anything too invasive, hooked up a few times and even made him breakfast one of them which ended up with Jungkook bolting right out of your apartment, thinking that was it and he’d never see you again but boy was he wrong, you had texted him after to make sure he was okay, had the most amazing round of make up sex (could it even be called that when you two didn’t even fight? and it was all just him being a moron?).

So here’s the thing, maybe his heart started picking up when he saw you, maybe he started feeling butterflies when you two made out on your couch, maybe the blurred line between being a casual hook up and falling for you had become no line at all, and soon enough his hyungs started pestering him that he shouldn’t play with your feelings. God how much easier would it be if you were a student at his campus, with the amount of talk about the ‘7 best looking guys being in a polyamorous relationship’ really would have done the trick, so that he could stop the inner fear of losing you that came with owning it up and telling you he was indeed not just bisexual, but in an eight month relationship with 6 guys.

So far, Namjoon had had the most serious talk with him ever since he was invited to join the relationship, then came Yoongi constantly bickering with him as a passive agressive way to get him to come clean, Hoseok aggressively cuddling him while whispering borderline nasty and teasing things to him while Seokjin, Taehyung and Jimin had made it their job to try and gatekeep him from you before any date with the theatrics of non existent jealousy. Deep down he knew it was wrong, so wrong of him to keep such a vital piece of information from you, then again, he couldn’t bear the feeling of seeing you being disgusted for his love choices, polyamory was one hell of a misunderstood topic, often overseen as being greedy and unable to choose. Which was a blatant lie. He had made a choice eight months ago, and it pained him to even think that if the time came, he would have to stand by it. He would choose the six of them all over again. No doubts in his mind he would choose them over you if it came to be like that.

What if he had spent a week bawling his eyes out at night after a date with you and quality time at home, people should mind their own business. And the men he loved the most in the world were proving to be deserving of his love yet again. He had cried one last time after thinking just how much they were meaning to go out of their way to keep Jungkook happy. They had kept him in their best interests when they decided that maybe, prior further consideration and a serious talk involving you and Jungkook, maybe an eight addition wouldn’t be so bad. 

“God I can’t believe we are not only condoning this behaviour but now we are endorsing it” Seokjin mentioned in one of his many overdramatic tones as he and Namjoon placed some delicious looking dishes out in their small backyard where they had all dressed up the place when little Jungkookie announced he was bringing you over.

Namjoon was quick to attempt to calm his boyfriend down while placing a small kiss on his lips “You’re overthinking” 

“Oh, I’m overthinking? How about Mr Jeon Jungkook who apparently can neither keep it in his pants nor grow a pair and tell someone that they are polyamorous, huh?” Namjoon really had to try his hardest not to burst out laughing at the way Seokjin’s words seemed to blend in together as they came out of his mouth in a flow that resembled a rap song “Don’t you try and gaslight me, Namjoon, I’ll have you know, psychology was my major before it was yours” 

“Doctor Kim has a beautiful ring to it” 

Seokjin did not stop a whole minute to stop placing everything out on the table as he kept on bickering with the younger “Don’t try to woo me Kim Namjoon, I know you only like the ring of it because we share the last name” 

Jimin walked out the exact moment they were blasting fiery heart eyes at each other, nothing out of the ordinary in their dynamic, “Seokjin-hyung, Namjoon-hyung, I think she’s here” the youngest of the three lend a hand for the whole table to be set in record time, already hearing an additional female voice that didn’t use to be there before coming from inside “I don’t think Taehyung’s on board with all...this” 

“What do you mean he’s not on board, we talked about it before!” if there was the slightest bit of panic in Namjoon’s eyes, he was one hell of an actor to have it covered up as soon as he sensed Seokjin stiff on his side and the whole room began to feel stuffy even when being outside.

“Tae says he’s not coming down for dinner” Hoseok announced as he popped his head outside “Y/N is talking in the living room with Kookie and Yoongi, she seems nice” before disappearing inside the house.

“I fucking told you all of this would come to bite us in the ass Joonie, eight people is one person too many” may Seokjin’s inability to read eye expressions be damned when Namjoon and Jimin tried to get him to keep his voice down before any more damage was caused.

A mop of black hair popped up from inside just the way Hoseok had done before, startling the three men outside when Jungkook spoke “Hey, is everything alright?”

“Yeah, totally” Jimin tried to fake a smile which ended up being the fakest smile he had ever put on his face, making the youngest squint his eyes at the three of them in a questioning manner, a few seconds away from dismissing it, Seokjin broke 

“Taehyung is not taking part”

“What do you mean Taehyung is not taking part?” Jungkook’s eyes widened almost comically but anyone could see the anxiety and panic rising in them, Namjoon ever the peacemaker in the relationship intervening 

“Tae says he’s backing down, but I’ll have a talk with him and-”

“I’ll do it” Jungkook shook his head as he took off back inside to the opposite side from which he came from; even with the whole uncertainty of the situation, it was sure not to head the right way it should have.

“That sounds lovely, I can just imagine” you said as Namjoon, who had just introduced himself, finished a random story about all seven of them “So.. you all live here together then?”

“Oh yeah, inseparable bond and what not” Seokjin, the oldest of the seven smiled somewhat uncomfortably at you, avoiding any type of direct contact. At first it really seemed to have taken the right turn, chatting with Yoongi and Hoseok after Jungkook left to see if anything else was needed before dinner, but then things started to shift, an unknown but uncomfortable silence filling the room every now and then, the way Jimin couldn’t stop fidgeting in his seat and Seokjin made little to no effort to not show just how uncomfortable he was. Jungkook had mentioned earlier that his housemates could be somewhat weird, without mentioning exactly how, but from the looks of it, it had something to do with dating within themselves. 

“Hey, do you mind if I use your restroom?” 

“Ah sure, upstairs, first door to the left” Yoongi answered with a tight lip smile on his face, everyone’s eyes discreetly following you in silence until your figure couldn’t be seen, probably out of earshot as murmurs took over the living room.

Not that you really needed to use the toilet but it would be nice to splash some cold water in your face if you wanted to even try and survive the rest of the night, but as you reached the end of the stairs, a room across what seemed to be the bathroom caught your attention, snuffling noises coming from the inside, and you really should stick to your own business, but how much weirder could the night go? apparently, exponentially weirder.

You reached the door that was conveniently slightly open, allowing you to take a peek inside, a guy sitting beside Jungkook  on the bed as he rubbed circles in the small of his back at the same time as he whispered things to his ear and you felt a pang in your chest, not really believing the whole sexual tension inside the room, perhaps your mind playing with you; up until the guy clearly nibbled Jungkook’s ear, a breathy moan escaping from his lips, your brain shortcircuiting between not understanding what was going on and finding it extremely hot.

“Tae no, you know I’m going out with Y/N” Jungkook said as the other guy moved around, seemingly placing a hand to his crotch in a playful manner, as far as the smirk in his face but obstruction of bodies allowed you to see from the door.

The guy’s eyes quickly turned to Jungkook in the biggest puppy stare you had ever seen, low voice above a whisper “Having someone around never stopped you before” 

“Please”

A heavier moan escaped from Jungkook’s mouth, hands immediately locking the guy around him as he straddled his hips on the bed “Do you not love us anymore?”

Whether it was whatever that was going on inside between the two of them, or the mention of love, that made you forget your compromising position, getting the feeling that you should stop watching and panicky closed the door, making your presence known, the world may never know, but there were thousands of thoughts running in your mind. Sure, Jungkook had never put a label on your relationship, and from time to time you had believed that perhaps there was something beautiful there, now coming to think of it, maybe his heart had always been occupied, as all those friends of yours that knew him from somewhere had once said to you, how it was the weirdest thing out there watching 7 great looking guys hanging out as if they were on a date, the unusual way they carried around each other. Not that it was bad, but i crushed your heart to know that you would never fit in, as much as you kicked it off with Jungkook and the sex was amazing, the dynamic between them seemed to put you as just a plaything for the youngest of them all.

“Y/N? Jungkookie wants to have a talk with you” you didn’t even noticed the shift of your surrounding, knowing Jungkook, how he most probably bolted right out of the room when they heard the door close forcefully, too absorbed in your thoughts, still too absorbed in your thoughts as Hoseok led you back down, sitting you down a few feet away from where Jungkook was seated, the TV playing a random programme in the back “You two do your stuff, we’ll be outside, feel free to join, okay?”

The TV Show echoed in the dark, it seemed like it had been hours since you joined Jungkook in his living room, wanting nothing more than cross the door and never see him again, but he was a great kid, you knew just how much he would blame himself over what were your insecurities and inability to speak up on the matter, on never questioning what game you two were playing, sleeping around, going on dates but not getting involved. Until he was the first one to speak up.

“I am in a polyamorous relationship, Y/N” he heaved a sigh, as if the world was lifting from his shoulders “Have been for the last eight months” 

Your heart sped up, the words unable to leave your lips, all tangled up on your brain “You should have told me before” you turned your face to where he was at the same time as he did the same “I would have understood”

“I don’t want to leave you”

“I know” which, you did know, time and time again he had made it clear that there was so much more to your relationship, although Jungkook wouldn’t express it out loud “I would love to have you… if there’s a way”

Jungkook’s doe eyes seemed to shine brighter at your words, although you could see tears forming in them “I don’t understand why would you want to be with someone like me” 

“Jeon Jungkook”  you scooted yourself to be closer to him, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder “Some people are so full of love they can give a way to a lot of people, I understand that” his eyes lighted up at your words, the tiniest bit of hope in them 

A hand was placed on your shoulder, softly grabbing the exposed skin, making you turn your head to see Hoseok, shadows playing on his face as he smirked down at you “Plus, love will never be forever, might as well have seven plans ahead, right Y/N?” 

You could feel a lump in your throat at that, images of what you had witnessed inside the bedroom with Jungkook and his friend still fresh in your mind, clearing your throat you hesitated “Uhm.. I really don’t know how to feel about all this Hoseok” but as soon as the words left your mouth you could see the rest of the boys joining the living room, as if you were some kind of prey you were after, the only source of light coming from the fairy lights in the backyard, illuminating them as they approached, hiding their true intentions in their eyes at the same time as their faces became darker, heart thumping inside your ribcage

“Oh come on, Y/N I saw you looking at Jungkookie and I outside our bedroom” Taehyung mentioned, which made you flush, fortunately going unnoticed by the lack of light, although he chuckled as he once again straddled Jungkook inches beside you, an all-too familiar image of the both of them as he grinded hard down on Jungkook’s crotch, earning him a groan from the youngest  “Seemed to me you were enjoying it a bit too much”

A firm hand underneath your chin turned you to face upwards by the slightest, a face that took you seconds to recognise as Yoongi’s too close to yours, grazing his lips with yours before he tutted and added a “Good girls are meant to share their toys Y/N” for good measure.

“Jungkookie here practically gave you up before asking you to join us” Jimin added as he took a sit beside you, body clinging to Yoongi who was still too close to you

“I just-” you turned your face to Jungkook, who was currently busy with his mouth all over Taehyung and Hoseok, both on each side of him as they seemed to get an equal amount of attention from the youngest, your lower abdomen firing up at the image and the prospect of you taking part in the dynamic “I guess it doesn’t really sound so bad”

“Even Seokjin is willing to give you a taste” spoke Namjoon as he walked into the area with Seokjin just inches behind him, nodding his head when you locked eyes with the eldest “But I bet you’ll be Yoongi-hyung’s favourite”

“It’s your turn to call the shots, Y/N”

Instead of a response, you pull on Jimin’s shirt until he leans onto you, capturing you lips in his in a kiss that seems to last just seconds before he is placing you on top of him, allowing Yoongi to take you previous spot, caressing you side so when you lean back to catch a breath, his mouth is on yours stealing your breath away; out of the corner of your eye you watch as Hoseok has his hand inside Jungkook’s pants “Sharing is caring, Yoongi” you remind him as he tries to have a second go, Jimin’s laughter underneath you hitting the right places as he frictions his front side up to you, earning a soft moan from your lips, which only turns to a second one when you feel two wet mouths on each side of your jaw, gently nibbling on the skin before they stopped to kiss right in front of you, tongues catching, groans escaping from each of Seokjin and Namjoon throat before they turned to look at you and retrieved to their original spot to entertain themselves.

“As much as I’d love to take her, I think it’s best if we let Jungkook welcome her into our dynamic” a soft laugh falls from Jimin’s lips as you quietly gasp when he places you on the couch, an awaiting Jungkook on your side, the blond man taking his turn with Yoongi a few inches away.

Jungkook’s eyes seem dazed, and he quickly finds your mouth, just the way he did all those times before, except that now it was somewhat different from them, in a room full of people, his boyfriends, yours soon to be; as he absentmindedly tongues your bottom lip to deepen the kiss, a single hand slides underneath the fabric of your shirt as the other grips around your thigh, slowly working its way to where you could already feel your panties dampening. Fingers dancing familiarly over your nipples, “God I don’t know what I’d have done if you said no to this”, you barely register his words so you just nod in agreement, desperately wanting him to touch you where you needed the most. Warm fingers find your folds, stroking them slowly, squelching sounds that somehow don't seem to phase the way the rest of the group keeps on having their tongues deep down on someone elses throat, changing partners everytime you look up. The tips of his fingers find your entrance, slowly working a pace in and out, pairing it with wet kissed to your exposed neck as you try and hold on to his shirt for dear life “You’re so wet already”

His fingers pick up speed, barely curling into that soft spot inside you. Hips lifting slightly as your head lulls back against his shoulder, peaking both Jimin and Yoongi’s interest from beside you, a clear interest in the action if the way their pants seem to grow tighter by the second “Hey baby, is Jungkookie making you feel good?” voice raspy, dark, but soft lips on your own as the youngest kept his pace with his fingers, stretching you open on the couch.

“She sounds so sweet I can’t wait to taste her” Yoongi adds as his hand reaches out inside Jimin’s pants, starting to stroke his member to life. And that’s when you see it. Namjoon and Seokjin, ever so reserved, in their own little world, sitting across from all the action, hands on each other’s bulge, not daring to look away from you. And it somehow stirs you in all the right places, mind set already on giving them the best show ever. 

Hands cup your breasts from behind you, softly massaging them, feather like kisses on the back of your neck as your shirt is lifted, bra forgotten and your tits are free for everyone in the room to watch and enjoy, a voice behind you, owner of the hands pinching your nipples whispering in your ear “I’m willing to forgive you interrupting quality time with Kookie”

You feel a pinching in your clit joining Jungkook’s fingers pistoning into you, making you reach your orgasm in record time in a broken mess of calling out Jungkook’s name. Hoseok’s instantly reaching for the waistband of your panties to pull them down “Well I’d say, dinner’s served,Yoongi-hyung” before said man is  leaning forward, Yoongi’s hands exchanging Jimin’s cock for your knees – holding your legs open. Yoongi’s tongue takes a bold lick over your slit before he’s diving in, lips attaching to your clit as the tip of his tongue flicks against it. Hoseok’s chin is rested on your shoulder,ocassionaly opening up your outer lips to allow the elder a deeper access to your cunt,  watching Yoongi’s  tongue fuck into you. You could feel Taehyung’s thick length pressed into your lower back, the slow lift of his hips dragging it against you. Soft groans from the friction falling from his lips, mixing with the husky moans that echo from around the room as everyone watched Yoongi intently. Your eyes find Seokjin and Namjoon across the room, both of whom have since pulled their cocks from behind their pants, glistening tips on full display as their large hands stroke over the base of each other, their  hips moving to match the movement of their hands.

The tongue between your legs moves swiftly, pushing past your folds and slipping into your entrance, lapping up the juices from your past orgasm as Hoseok leans down to share a wet kiss with him, then Jungkook, the three of them tasting you on their tongues. As Yoongi returns to his spot between your legs, he moans against your core like the taste of you is the most delicious thing to ever hit his tongue, the sound sending vibrations through your body that has your cunt tingling, not far from your next release. “Aah- Yoongi” you gasp, reaching down to tangle your fingers in his hair, pushing his face further between your legs.

“You gonna cum all over my tongue, huh?” his movements intensify, nose pressed against your clit, rubbing it precisely as it makes you fall apart in a rush of desperate pleas before he removes himself from his position, chin covered in your juices to which you can’t help but moan at the sight of as he licks his lips in delight. His lips capture yours once he’s on your eye level,  hand set on the back of your head to keep you still, mouth instantly flooded with your taste, pulling away with fiery eyes and a smirk. “Joon was right, you’re gonna be my favourite”

[laeana]

if the world was ending you’d come over right?

just felt like posting a small snippet I wrote for @iwastemytimereading1

It’s a piarles fake dating au set four years in the future, Charles is still at Ferrari but Pierre moved to Mercedes, enjoy :)

The last three years have worn out his smile but his demeanor is perfect and he doesn’t make a single wrong step before sitting elegantly in front of him, his childhood friend. Pierre shivers at how formal Charles is being with him, but it is what is it, isn’t it ? They’re supposed to sign a contract that may ruin everything they have - everything they are - as Charles’ last desperate attempt to have some power inside Ferrari, and he’s about to accept because he has been a fool in love for ten years of his miserable life, and he won’t waste any occasion to have Charles for himself.

“Why ?” He asks because even if there’s no cameras, no one else around them, Charles still plays as if he was constantly watched, analyzed, even though that’s not something Pierre would do. Why him ? Why now ? Why ?

Charles gulps and lowers his eyes, a first crack in his armor.

“Why fake being bisexual and dating me, of all the people ?” He details his question, since he has no answer, and Charles jumps, offended.

“I’m not faking bisexuality, I am bisexual !”

Pierre lowers an eyebrow, glancing at him from top to bottom. He needs to wet his lips with something so he takes a bit of a wine, to erase the bitter taste on his tongue of all the time he saw him with girls, so many girls.

“Oh, pardon me, that wasn’t obvious.”

He’s harsh, he knows it. He sees it in the way Charles deflates suddenly, a pained look on his features.

“It’s you, because I know I can trust you.”

Pierre stills. His fingers on the glass clench and he needs to remind himself how to breathe. He waited for so long for Charles to apologize, to say anything, after he signed his contract with Mercedes. Anything.

It was two years ago ; Charles never came back and yet …

Yet today he’s here, asking for help.

“I need something … I need a way to regain power over Ferrari, I need a delay, or they will throw me out. We’ll date and then I’ll find a solution, but for this, I need you …”

To find solution not on track but off track. Ferrari’s hold and toxicity never failed to surprise him.

“And how you’d do that ? Power, I mean. Last time I checked, Ferrari were kind of homophobic, so are most old and rich people that control everything around F1.”

“Ferrari may be,” Charles answers, raising his glance for the first time of the meal, a glow of bravery in his pupils, “Hell, the whole paddock may be, that doesn’t mean the world is. You know like me how Lewis started something, a fire here. It’s up to us if we use it to shelter ourselves or to destroy everything on our way.”

They fall silent for a beat. Pierre knows Charles awaits his decision, that’s all he needs. A yes. For his plan to work. Of all the people he decided to entrust it to him. It’s crazy and it’s awful. It’s probably how Charles can use his feelings at his own advantage, how they know each other so well. Charles knows he’s egoistic and selfish and won’t hesitate if he can have him, even for a bit, even if he ends up damaged in the process. He’ll use his kindness and his love to get what he wants. It hurts but the hurt doesn’t feel like a burn anymore, more like a quiet whisper in his ear, barely a cry, from his overly and constantly broken heart.

“Okay. I’ll do that. I’ll be your boyfriend, for as long you need me to be.”

It’s a true smile that appears on Charles’ feature, far from the pale copy of those he serves to the media and to the fans, when he tries to assure them everything is alright, even though nothing is and his career is collapsing a bit more everyday. A bright smile, a lovely one.

Then Charles leans forward and seals their agreement with a kiss.

I haven’t decided whether or not I’ll write this au but I wanted to post this, so as to be sure not to waste this part. Thanks for reading!

[epicstuckyficrecs]

2020 Half-year fic rec for Steve Rogers’ birthday!

I made a poll on Twitter to know if people would be interested in me doing a half-year ��best of” fic rec like I did last year , and the response was overwhelmingly positive, so here it is! 😊 These are my favorite fics of the year so far! (in no particular order)

Complete

Two Colors, White and Gold by Carelica (Canon-Divergent | 36K | Explicit): He’s here, he’s alive. His hand is on a tree.

Deep Sea Diving by AidaRonan/ @bisexualstarbucky​ (Shrunkyclunks | 5,4K | Explicit): Steve’s wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

Some things you do for money by pushdragon (BDSM AU | 72K | Explicit): Steve’s wholesome take on domination has suddenly become the hottest thing in the business. He should be cashing in on his newfound celebrity, but instead he’s distracted by the guy who works odd shifts in the club’s bar, fresh out of prison and damaged in ways that don’t show.

the hand you want to hold is a weapon (and you’re nothing but skin) by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid​ (Post-WS, Sex Pollen | 13K | Explicit): Steve gets sex-pollened. He handles it just fine, and then Bucky shows up.

Dear Mr. Postman by odetteandodile (Modern AU | 52K | Teen): “I’m um—your mailman,” Bucky says, lamely. Or—Steve and Bucky revive an old friendship, get married (but totally just as friends, for reasons), and navigate a few of the many trials of the heart that come with falling in love with your best friend. 

good on my own (needed me) by mcwho (Modern AU | 12K | Explicit): There are some mistakes that could be made by anybody. Anybody. Bucky taught high school pretty much his whole life, and that was fine, those were kids, and he knew all of them anyway, which meant there was very little chance of him accidentally fucking any of his students during an impulsive post-marital-breakdown Grindr hook-up. Which is exactly what he had done with Steve.or: bucky has not let steve rogers fuck him since his sophomore year (Part 1 of himbo-verse)

Latte Art and Slow Dancing in the Dark by deadonarrival (Modern AU with powers, Daddy kink | 89K | Explicit): Bucky is a somewhat well-adjusted former army sniper that got his shoulder blown out. He took his discharge and went home to finish school. His best friends and roommates (Nat & Clint) are CIA agents and tip him off that their local Sbux is hiring. He gets a job there and meets none other than the hottest guy on earth. So how does one get a date in the most top secret government location in the US? What happens when that guy is more than just a hot dorito and wants to give Bucky everything he wants? 

That Boy Is a Problem by 2bestfriends  (Modern AU | 10K | Explicit): In which a twinky little goth punk named Bucky puts a leash around Steve’s dick and he’s really into it. (The leash is a metaphor. For now.)

bullet in a gun (but in the end, my time will come) by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid​ (Post-Endgame, Canon-divergent | 25K | Explicit): Post-Thanos, Bucky Barnes has happily settled into a life of peace and pining. That’s when alternate versions of the best friend he’s secretly in love with start showing up.

Like it’s the Only Thing I’ll Ever Do by howdoyousleep/ @howdoyousleep3​ (ABO AU | 39K | Explicit): When Steve opens the door, Bucky feels like he’s been living in clouds for the past few days, maybe even his entire life. Steve is life, Steve is happiness, Steve is the sun. He has such a visceral reaction to seeing the Alpha that he feels his knees go weak, feels his body draw tight towards the other man, pulled in. Or big Alpha Steve moves into sweet little Omega Bucky’s apartment building and a roller-coaster build of a romance ensues.

A Company Man by mambo/ @whtaft (Modern AU | 75K | Explicit): No matter what it is, the truth is the same: Steve Rogers is in love with Bucky Barnes, a married man.

How to Fuck With (and Feed) Your Soulmate by BlueSimplicity/ @bluesimplicity73​ (Soulmate AU, Shrunkyclunks | 114K | Explicit): It’s called the Grey Space; a patch of skin marking you as blessed and the first sign you have a soulmate. Steve Rogers didn’t have one when he crashed into the ice. But he did when he woke up in the future. The second sign is the Sense, a sharing of one the senses to help soulmates find each other. Steve’s Sense, taste, is rare, but he loves a challenge and a soulmate is a gift from the Fates. Except instead of a blessing, it’s a curse, since his soulmate is a dick. Bucky Barnes loves food and a homecooked meal is something he cherishes. When his Grey Space starts to itch, Bucky can’t help his excitement, since the Sense he and his soulmate share is taste. But not for long. Whoever he’s bound to has the blandest diet in the world, ignoring all Bucky’s messages. After weeks of putting up with tasteless food, Bucky decides to strike back.

Strangers in the Street by crinklefries/ @spacerenegades (Canon divergent | 15K | Teen): Every five years, Bucky meets the same tall, blond stranger.

Departure by Nejinee/ @nejineeee (Arrival AU | 80K | Mature): Captain America is recruited by the U.S. government to assist a linguist and her team of scientists in communicating with aliens after twelve mysterious space ships appear across the globe overnight.

Compatible - A Romantic Science Fiction Thriller in Four Parts by the1918/ @the1918​ (Shrunkyclunks, ABO AU | 33K | Explicit): When young nanotech engineer Bucky Barnes finds himself falling head first in love with none other than Steve Rogers, he ends up getting a lot more of the Alpha than he– or science– could ever have imagined possible.

WIP

four dreams in a row where you were burned by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid (canon divergent, post-Endgame, 1945 alternate timeline | 10/? | 58K | Mature): When Steve uses the last of his Pym Particles to travel to 1944 and save his best friend, he doesn’t have a plan beyond leaving behind the battlefield and living his life alongside the people he loves. But the life that finds him is not the one he expects.

A Matter of Trust by chicklette/ @chicklette​ (Singer Bucky, Fake relationship | 7/13 | 26K | Explicit): At 43, James Barnes is a washed up old man. He’s got a dozen Grammys in the hall closet, an agent that can’t get him a deal, a decade-old case of writer’s block, a moody teen-aged daughter, and the gorgeous actress Natasha Romanova for an ex-wife. Enter Steven Grant Rogers, struggling twenty-something, orphan, and someone who has no idea who Barnes is. The two men meet by accident, doing nothing more than passing the time in a quiet bar. But when a pap gets a shot of the two men embracing, Bucky takes it as a chance to finally come out as bisexual, and his agent makes him a proposition: Ten new songs and one very sweet boyfriend will get him a new record deal that will maybe, just maybe put him back on top. Now all he has to do is write the songs, convince the kid, and not fall in love. Should be easy, right?

Bespoke by the1918/ @the1918​ (Shrunkyclunks, ABO AU | 6/10 | 61K | Explicit): “I love you, too. So fucking much,” Steve answered. His voice sounded cracked and exhausted, an exposed nerve ending in the shape of a man. “Some days I still don’t believe you’re real. Feels— feels like somehow, I’ve always loved you. Even when I didn’t know you.” Bucky smiled softly at that and felt his heart threaten to explode. Still straddling his lap, he reached a hand up to cup Steve’s cheek. “You’ve always known me,” he stated, simply. “I was made for you, remember?” (Part 2 of Compatible)

Series

couldn't get the boy to kill me by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid (Shrunkyclunks, SHIELD Agent Bucky | 12 works, complete | 74K | Explicit): Captain America and the Winter Soldier are a terrifying duo on the field, working together with a well-oiled precision that tears through their enemies. Captain Rogers and Agent Barnes are distant coworkers, all polite nods and mission briefings. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are fire and gasoline; it never ends well.

the hero's shoulders by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid (Shrunkyclunks, Post-CW, canon divergent | 3 works, not complete | 32K | Explicit): Sequel series to couldn't get the boy to kill me

~

Honorable mention for Where The Interstate Ends by paperstorm/ @paper-storm​ because it was posted last year but I only read it recently!

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 26

first time reader click here

TWs/SUMMARY: Drunken love confessions and other emotional constipation. A threesome between two awesome facial hair bros and reader. I'm absolutely unhappy with how this turned out because a certain sorcerer insisted on being super soft in this one. But at least there's porn...

On the same note, how do we feel about introducing more m/m action? I am a total slut for bisexual boys. I can't help the gay it just comes out...

I danced with Tony briefly as the drinks finally caught up to him. The ex-playboy certainly defended his title: he had impeccable sense of rhythm and we swayed on the floor in tandem, bothering very little with hiding how hot we were for each other. Grinding our hips together, my ass on his dick, Tony was half-hard and I felt it all through the layers of tulle of my skirt and leather of his pants. Now and then his hands wandered, shamelessly squeezing my breasts and my ass, his mouth leaving a blazing hot trail on my neck and my shoulders.

I wasn't far behind. Tony's hair was all kinds of messed up thanks to my own hands and his ass found itself in the very same palms far more than once. "It's a shame Bruce doesn't dance," I pouted drunkenly, receiving an equally intoxicated noise of vague approval. "The three of us are perfect," I stated something that had been boiling over in my head quite a bit.

Tony nodded again. "Yeah," He was far more touchy than usual; his lips landed in my hair right next to my ear. "Bet we can get Merlin, though. I saw him with Natasha earlier," Tony went in to kiss my cheek and missed again, sloppily smooching my temple.

"He has no business being that fuckin' hot," I spit out petulantly without a second thought.

"You're fuckin' right and you should say it," Tony agreed instantly, both of us wearing almost identical, indignant expressions. We paused for a moment, looking deeply into each other's eyes - or, well, we tried to. Drinks and drugs tended to make focusing quite hard. "So we're doing this?" Tony squinted questioningly.

"What about Bruce?" I immediately replied, mind going back to the way my sciency boyfriend was smirking at my and Tony's reaction to Stephen's grand entrance.

"He's okayed any and all our ventures provided we tell him about it," Tony said after a moment of stunned silence.

I chewed on my lip in muted amusement. "What's, he's got, like, a kink?" I tried to articulate my confusion. "And we somehow ended up, I mean all three of us - without talking?" I voiced my concerns. This conversation was really overdue and I'll be damned if that weren't the drugs making me talk. I would probably regret it in the morning...

Tony's eyes softened immediately, a palm raising to trace the side of my face lovingly and gently. "Me and Bruce had a conversation about... You. We both liked you, it's fucking impossible to dislike you, have you seen you? We had decided to let you choose at first, woved for it to not get in the way of our friendship..." He trailed off, looking sheepish and slurring his words slightly. The alcohol had loosened his lips too. I felt only the thump of the bassline, music fading away into the background, my ears hearing only the words leaving Tony's mouth. "I doubt it would have worked out anyways. But you..." He cupped my face. "You gave us everything."

I would have cried if not for the chemicals in my system. My mouth formed a smile on it's own accord and I reached closer to slot it over Tony's shaky grin, bringing us into a slow and sloppy kiss that lasted what felt like years. "I love you, okay? You and Bruce," I spit out the words I desperately wanted to say for so long. Nothing really mattered in the moment, it was just me and Tony and our shared feelings. It wasn't bizarre anymore, loving someone and being loved back.

"Me too, Princess, me too," Tony whispered, hiding his face in the crook of my neck. One of the many advantages of having a boyfriend that wasn't a six-foot tall muscle-bound fricking bastard.

"We have a mission," I reminded him after another song slowly transitioned into a different one. "But I'm also craving a cigarette."

Tony's hand encompassesed mine as he led the way to the patio where the smokers area was located. Bucky's shiny metal arm stood out amongst the partygoers and we made a beeline for him. I bummed a cigarette off him despite Steve's prominent frown and Bucky was even gentleman enough to light it up for me.

We needn't have looked for Strange, it was a few minutes after I'd taken my first drag that he appeared, spouting like a mushroom right after a rainfall. He was frowning. "Caught some douchebag trying to roofie a girl," He explained. Barnes gave him a cigarette without question, trading a dark look with Steve. "Natasha and Loki are taking care of it," Strange supplied, jerking a hand towards the back of the room.

Barnes eyed Tony until the latter gave a short, resigned nod. "Just don't do anything that will land me in the papers," The billionaire sighed before speaking several short commands into a bracelet that served as a direct communication device with Friday. "I raised the security monitors for any suspicious activity too. Put in an earpiece and Friday will notify you if someone else tries to act funny," Tony finished darkly, eyeing Stephen's shaking hands.

I choose to stay silent throughout the interaction, letting the pissed off men to blow off some steam before approaching them. Barnes' cigs migrated into my hands and I watched the tense, retreating backs of the super-soldiers until only the three of us were left in a comfortable silence. I waited until the man was done with his cancer stick and promptly grabbed his hands, gently but firmly stroking the scarred skin.

Tony leaned on the railing, watching us with open interest.

Strange cocked a curious eyebrow but didn't retract his hands, releasing a quiet sigh when my movements successfully calmed the tremors. "Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of being... Nice," He spoke after a moment.

"I know," I replied dryly. "But being nice all the time is boring."

"A day with you is never boring," Tony winked at us teasingly, noticing me step further into the sorcerer's personal space. His eyes were still glowing and whatever spell he had put on himself was still working, attracting me to him like a magnet.

Stephen looked to the side, at Tony, then at me, before gently pulling out a single hand and making an elaborate gesture that made his skin briefly shimmer. The unnatural pull disappeared - me and Tony both exhaled heavily - yet the appreciation for Stephen's lithe, agile form remained. He was a beautifully made man.

Tony made his own move, a signature of his, placing a steady palm on the taller man's back and looking up at Stephen through his eyelashes. The fresh air had sobered both of us up by quite a bit and our coordination returned.

Stephen smirked slightly, running his eyes over the crowd of partygoers gathered around us. Nobody was paying any particular attention to the three of us yet all of us were acutely aware how much damage could be done by a stray snapshot, an accidental Snapchat feature, or something drunkenly posted on public social media by an absolute stranger. Tony and Strange threw each other a secretive, heated glance while I pressed myself closer to Tony, still caressing one of Stephen's hands. To the public, it was nothing more than a friendly gesture to help out a close friend out of his discomfort.

"Your place? I'm afraid mine's a mess," Stephen asked, uncharacteristically dorky and overused pick-up line.

"Lead the way," Tony smirked, both of us sharing a muted giggle at the doctor's antics. In response, Stephen extracted his other hand from my grasp and waved them about in the familiar gesture of creating a portal. On the other side of the circle was the familiar scenery of Tony's penthouse bedroom, sheets, as always, unmade and my fluffy socks hanging half-way off the comforter.

I pulled both men into the circle by their forearms, making quick in hopes everybody around us was too drunk to take note of the surroundings on the other side of the portal. An obscenely large bed in plain view didn't leave much space for speculation.

I sat down on it, taking my time to observe the curious interaction between two men in front of me. The sexual tension between them was undeniable, it crackled in the space between their bodies, lit an unholy fire in their eyes. If I was completely honest with myself - Stephen was hot, but Stephen and Tony together, it was out of this world and I would have been very content to just hang back and watch the two of them going at it.

Untying and toeing off my shoes had me distracted for a brief moment - evidently enough for Stephen to lose his pretense and roughly grab Tony by his face, smashing their lips together gracelessly. Tony's hands grasped the expensive fabric of Stephen's blazer with a force that was equal to the one gathering in the low of my belly. The dress I wore was now carefully thrown over a nearby lounge chair, leaving me in a set of golden bra and tiny panties. It was a gift from Tony: he loved when I wore his colors.

My almost bare body got their attention: panting, they broke apart to stare at me, their gazes hungry enough to make me shiver and feel like prey. Tony's arms sandwiched me between them, letting Stephen's lips to taste mine for the first time. The sorcerer did not hesitate, he plunged his tongue into my mouth and immediately seized command of the kiss. He kissed like he fought, sharply, with precision and demand.

I popped the buttons on his shirt as he explored my mouth, finding the skin of his chest taut and textured with a multitude of smaller, thinner scars. He was built like a runner, or a swimmer, all lean muscle and sculpted hipbones and neatly stacked ribs. His shirt suffered a haste demise.

The thuds and jingles accompanied by quiet cursing behind my back alerted me to Tony's struggle with his intricately made costume. "Can you boom-boom-whoosh it away?" I asked Stephen.

He pulled away with an amused smirk, waving his glowing hands about. "Do what now?"

"It's what the internet calls your voodoo shit, don't quote me," Tony snarked, suddenly finding himself wearing only his boxers. I was promptly pulled to his chest, in what I knew was a defensive gesture - he hated showing off the scarred area around his arc reactor. He used to hide it from me, too.

Stephen hummed, once again waving his hands about in a surprisingly complicated set of motions. I was mesmerised by his hands - even despite the injuries, they remained as skilled and perplexing. Once Stephen was left in his underwear, I wasted no time in detaching from Tony and steering the sorcerer to fall freely into the large bed.

"You need to stop being so smug," I stated, climbing on top of Stephen and claiming his lips for myself. "It's bound to get you in trouble."

"Is that so?" And still, the man looked as satisfied as the cat who ate the canary. That just won't do.

"Tones, help me out, I'm trying to see smtn'," I asked, feeling the man settle in next to me and trace a gentle hand down my side, over my breast and down to the flat of Stephen's belly. The man under me shivered, face slowly heating up.

"Yes, dear?" My engineer supplied helpfully.

"Off," With a sudden change of pace, I snapped the elastic of Stephen's boxers, causing the man to jump and the very sizeable bulge in them twitch. Tony obediently pulled down the offending piece of clothing, causing Stephen to groan as the cool air hit the heated flesh of his most sensitive spots.

I settled between his thighs, spitting in my palm and giving his long cock a few solid strokes, enjoying the way his hips seemed to involuntarily follow the movement of my slick palm.

"I'd brace myself if I were you," Tony remarked teasingly, bending down to kiss the sorcerer again. Between my and Tony's mouths, Steph really didn't stand a chance.

The obscenely long moan that left his mouth was swallowed by Tony as my lips and tongue made to wrap around the very tip of Stephen's cock. I tasted the musk and the salt of him as I made down his long cock, taking extra time to warm up my throat for the incoming intrusion. And when I finally swallowed him, to the hilt, I swear I felt the way his body shook.

There was a lot more noise coming from the two men - I briefly lifted my eyes to see Stephen sucking a hickey onto the side of Tony's neck with a vigour, Tony's hand holding onto Stephen's hair as the taller man palmed the shorter man's bulge through his boxers.

I was pretty sure my juices were flowing down my thighs. The two men were a Sight; the drugs and booze in my system had me reaching new levels of arousal, levels I previously didn't even know existed. A needy noise left my lips, muffled by the delicious cock stretching them and I knew it was time to grant myself the thing I had been craving for so long.

Swiftly, I pulled off Stephen's cock and sat down into his lap, grinding my panty-covered mound atop his erection that laid on his belly, twitching and leaking. "You want a condom? We're clean and I'm on birth control," I offered.

"I'm clean, feel free to..." Stephen detached his mouth from Tony just long enough to mutter consent, immediately going back to taste the engineer's skin and mark it with his lips and teeth. By the time I she'd my underwear and slid down on his sizeable cock, I had noticed the necklace of blues and reds decorating Tony's neck and clavicles.

"Fuck, yessss..." I hissed, the emptiness within me finally fed. Experimentally raising my hips up and down a few times, I quickly found a rhythm that made for sinful noises to fall from both of our lips. Tony was whining, too, in impatience. "Tony, wanna try something?"

That piqued his interest. He looked at me, eyes unfocused and blown with lust. "Hm?" As Steph continued satiating his hunger for Tony's skin.

I carefully considered it before speaking. "Get behind me," I ordered breathily, slowing my pace just enough to keep me tethering on the brink of release.

"We need lube," He mumbled immediately, catching my drift - well, not quite.

"Nope, we don't. I can take both of you," I stated, bending over and spreading my legs a little wider. With Tony and Bruce, it would have been impossible considering the fact that Bruce's cock was as thick as a fuckin' coke can, but with Stephen being a little more reasonably sized... I must admit, I was curious. It certainly looked interesting enough in porn. Plus, it would allow the two men to feel each other-

"Fuckin' hell," Stephen groaned, one hand gripping my hip to steady himself. So that was a definite yes. "Princess, you're killing me here."

Tony took all of a whole second to get in position and spit in his hand, adding extra lubrication just in case. Thoughtful Tony. He needn't have worried, however - every inch from my thighs to Steph's balls was covered in my juices. To say that I was turned on would have been a massive fuckin' understatement.

"Fu-uck, you're so good, baby," Tony groaned. I felt the tip of his cock breach and stretch my entrance, finding the sting not painful but rather pleasurable. Inch by inch, I felt myself open up. The sensations were incredibly powerful, my release approaching even despite the steady slow movements that Tony was making.

"Harder," I begged, feeling my release approach with the force of a freight train. Both men complied, falling into a careful but powerful rhythm, shaking me to the core with each precise thrust. It didn't take long for me to clench and spasm around the cocks, making both men pick up the pace, their movements turning sloppy. My own imagination supplied the extra mile, figuring their cocks rubbing against each other inside my sloppy wet hole made it feel twice as intense.

Tony wrapped his forearm around my throat, putting a healthy arch to my back - I didn't know whose cock was hitting just the right spot and I didn't care. My eyes met Stephen's - he was watching me come undone, worrying his lip between his teeth, his own eyes darting between my and Tony's face. In a split second decision, I took hold of one of his hands and popped the index and middle fingers into my mouth, softly sucking on them, covering the digits in my little gasps and moans

Stephen's back arched and Tony groaned, stuttering his hips in response. As soon as the little crease between the sorcerer's eyebrows made a humble appearance, he was coming. "Fuck!" He yelped hoarsely, painting my insides and Tony's cock white. The engineer dropped his head onto my shoulders, panting, getting a few stuttered thrusts and he was coming, too, jerking almost violently behind me.

Him shoving his cock as deeply as possible within me triggered another wave of bliss for me. I followed the two men, gasping around the fingers in my mouth and behind the unyielding strength of Tony's arm. I felt wrung out, like a paper bag scrunched up and used...

In the best way. It was incredibly hot. The realisation that I had been marked by two glorious men from the inside out made me shiver and the men in question twitch in response to the involuntary flutter my pussy had done from my thoughts.

"Woah," Tony mumbled, gently pulling out of my sore and sloppy hole.

"Yeah," Stephen was finally speechless and tranquil. A picture of serendipity, really, with his arm thrown comfortably over his head and a sated little smirk on his face.

I couldn't resist pecking him on the lips as I slid off his body to nest myself between him and Tony who still seemed to be catching his breath. "You should be like this more often," I stated, feeling myself slip into drowsiness.

"Gimme a reason," Stephen mumbled, barely a trace of his usual sarcasm.

"Oh we will," Tony finished darkly, throwing a sheet over the three of us and settling a comfortable arm across my waist, palm flat on Stephen's tummy. Last thing I heard before I fell into a deep sleep was Stephen's blunt nails scratching softly along Tony's scalp.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

[nuka-nuke]

|Duke Lanzaro|

Name: Duke Lanzaro

Nickname: Duke the Nuke

Age: 24

Birthday: November 19th, 2257

Height: 5'11

Weight: 190lbs

Specials: Str 8 - Per 6 - End 6 - Cha 10 – Int 4  - Agi  - 4 Luck - 2

Eyes: Bright blue. His default look is a permanently flirty looking stare, but that’s just how his eyes are all the time.

Hair: Black

Body type: Athletic, defined muscle.

Status Currently: A bodyguard for the Kings, he works helping gamblers and out of towners on their way through Freeside to get to the Strip, for a nominal fee.

Relationship Status: Taken

Spouse(s)/Partners: Cliff Delmore, a singer at The Tops

Sexuality: Bisexual

Gender: Male

Ethnicity: “Some kind of Italian"

Family: His father Lorenzo Lanzaro passed away 7 years back while performing in his circus. His mother is Georgiana Lanzaro, former magician, current drug dealer/tattoo artist/stripper. He also has a half-sister, Antonia Euler, but he does not acknowledge that he’s related to her.

Languages: English

Disabilities/Illnesses/Injuries: None. Sometimes has issues moving his left arm too much, because of residual effects and stiffness left by the damage from the gunshot wound in his shoulder.

Allergies: None.

Scars: He has two small scars that go over the bridge of his nose on the left side of his face, one tiny scar on his right cheek. Perpetually bruised up knuckles.

On the right side of his body: a stab wound scar on his shoulder, jagged scar down the inner part of his bicep, a cut and stitches on his forearm, several small lacerations on his hands, one long cut along his ribs, and a smaller stab wound right above his hip, large gash along his upper thigh, bite scar on his lower calf, and a burn on the opposite side.  

On the left: Bullet wound in the shoulder, dog bite on that elbow, small cuts all over his hands, several short scrapes/stabs/stiches on his thigh.  

Physical traits: Pale, dark hair, bright blue eyes, often has a side-ways smirk on his face. He has a square jaw and a crooked nose from when he broke it at some point in the past, very pronounced cheek bones, and beauty marks scattered along his cheeks. His shoulders are broad and strong, with way more upper body strength than leg strength (from his specialty being melee and hand-to-hand combat).  

He has a tattoo of a heart on his neck with “Mom” in it, a mini nuke on his left forearm with the Kings crown, and a lightning bolt with “TCB” above it on his bicep.

Voice: Not exceptionally deep, but lower than a tenor. Kind of raspy while still very lilted; the flirty gravel is definitely his thing, which comes naturally from smoking for ten years. When he’s being snarky gets the “greaser guy” accent going, but that’s completely manufactured and not natural at all.

Clothing: He has about two of the same outfit and wears those constantly: torn up old jeans, random white (or formerly white) t-shirts, Kings jacket, and his high-top sneakers.

Fashion Style/Lifestye: His look and aesthetic are obviously like the greasers of the 1950’s, as all the Kings are. He doesn’t have much of a sense of fashion beyond that, but his boyfriend is a lot more in tune with that and tries to dress him up every now and then – though most of the time it’s the same old dirty jeans and t-shirts with leather jacket.

Weapon of Choice: Baseball bat with random chunks of metal stuck in it that has “Return To Sender” painted on the side. He got his nickname from being able to hit a baseball grenade with such expert precision it was like a nuke.  

He also carries brass knuckles as a last resort, a special pair with a spade hollowed out of the center and two long spikes on either end of the hand.  

Skills: Extremely charismatic, can talk himself out of almost any situation and flirt his way into getting what he wants, in a direct contrast to his best friend’s terrible social awkwardness. He has no shame about using his good looks to his advantage – and he knows how good he looks, of course. He is also very physically strong and capable in a fight. Tagged skills would be explosives, speech, and melee.

Weaknesses: His loved ones, most particularly Dizzy. If anything happens to him, Cliff, or his mother, he’s going off the rails in defense mode. He is very quick to forgive them of anything they do wrong, no matter how egregious, and overlook serious issues out of a skewed sense of loyalty.

Poor skills: Very bad at restraining his temper. Though he is usually extremely calm and hard to irritate around people who are important to him, minor things from anyone but those select few can hit him like a switch and turn him into a violent, blind rage. Also is completely inept at any kind of wilderness survival.

Affiliations: The Kings, The Followers of the Apocalypse, Courier Six

Former Affiliations: Lanzaro’s Greatest Show in the West (since it no longer exists)

Enemies: The Legion, The NCR, The Van Graffs, The Omertas  

Neutral Affiliations: The Chairmen, White Glove Society

Religion: Agnostic

Likes: He likes anything to do with the “original” King, especially learning to play the songs older members know on guitar. He is deeply devoted to the gang’s ideals and is willing to live and die for the idea of freedom as The King teaches it to them. He likes gambling, though he has awful luck and almost always loses. Playing guitar. Cigarettes. Rum. Flirting.  Baseball. Feeling as though he makes a difference, through working for the Kings. Dizzy’s dad, Ace Euler.

Dislikes: Doesn’t really like sweets all too much. Caravan; it makes no sense to him. Leaving Freeside or traveling too far from Vegas. Feeling as though he isn’t in control.  

Hates: People bullying others who are much smaller/weaker than them; which is how he met Dizzy. People who aren’t from Freeside ruining the lives of locals.  

Friends: Dizzy Deeks has been his best friend since he was just a kid after he rescued him from being beaten to death by kids bigger than he was. Julie Farkas, Luisa Flores (Dizzy’s aunt), Sergio, Francine Garret, James Garret, Mick and Ralph, Courier Six.  

Acquaintances: Frankie Felice (another King), Vander “Van” DeVilla (also a King), Lucille McKenny (ex-girlfriend. Dizzy’s ex-girlfriend too), Lucky Harris (Dizzy’s boyfriend), Ringo, Niner, Raul Tejada.

Former friends: Rey Euler – he used to tolerate him, not any longer.  

Enemies: Johnny Salentino, another King who is his (personally proclaimed) rival, even though Johnny has no idea and thinks they are friends. Rey Euler, Dizzy’s older brother who knocked up Duke’s mom. Pacer. The entirety of the NCR.  

Pets: No pets. After his dad died, all their circus creatures were released and he has never had an animal since then.

Fallout OC friends/family: So many. Almost all the characters he associates with are OCs.  

Personality: Duke is the super cool guy that everyone wants to be! He’s always confident and always knows just what to say, but just as snarky as Dizzy always is. He’s easily amused, easy going, and generally doesn’t take things too seriously - but his temper can be short and violent if someone fucks with him or any other King. He loves to make terrible jokes and use terrible pick-up lines, but more often than not he can sound charming enough when he uses them that people fall for it anyway.

Favorite color: Yellow

Favorite foods:  Anything salty or spicy, particularly the things Dizzy’s mom cooks. Also really likes cram, though Dizzy will pointedly cringe anytime he eats it around him.

Favorite drinks: Rum, or any other strong dark liquor (though he knows to stay away from the “Mistake Maker” - the Alejos Especial, the gin that Dizzy’s mother makes and sells to the Wrangler).

Favorite Sweets: He isn’t too big on sweet foods, but he likes prickly pear candies occasionally.  

_____________________________________

Other info:

Brotp Meme

Aesthetic Pin Board

References

Random Extra Info

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: The Rebellion of Adrien Agreste, ch. 15

Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Luka Couffaine, Lila Rossi/karma, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/aneurism, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Plagg & Tikki

Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Lila Rossi, Jagged Stone, Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Penny Rolling, Anarka Couffaine, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Tikki, Fang, Principal Damocles, Caline Bustier, Ms. Mendeleiev, original minor character, Alec Cataldi, Lila Rossi’s Mother, Sabrina Raincomprix, Roger Raincomprix, Mylène Haprèle, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste’s Bodyguard, Nino Lahiffe, Nooroo

Tags: Lila Rossi salt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Teenage Rebellion, Swearing, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Crack Treated Seriously, Lila Rossi’s Lies Are Exposed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Luka Couffaine Needs a Hug, Paparazzi, Parentification, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Gabriel Agreste Needs an Aneurism, Uncle Jagged Stone, we’re all queer here, the spirit of punk is sometimes just being allowed to be yourself, Kagami Finds Her Groove, punk rock fashion, Savage Kagami, Marinette protection squad, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, Good Parent Tom Dupain, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Sharing a Bed, Pet Names, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Instagram, Bullying, Social Media, Anxiety, Makeover, Hugs, will cure your acne, Face Punching, Bad Ass Juleka Couffaine, Rumors, Protective Juleka Couffaine, Protective Adrien Agreste, Lawyers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, accountability, mental health, Jagged Stone’s well-paid pet shark, How to Make the Evening News, Sexy eyeliner for days, one fish two fish Lila is a screwed fish, How to have fun and piss Gabriel off, Fuckery, sweet litigious karma, Alya sugar, lawyer shark doo doo doo doo doo doo, Schadenfreude, Bad Ass Alya Césaire, Gaslighting, abuse denormalization, Jagged likes his lawyers like he likes his pets: toothy af, Blood in the Water, Everything you didn’t know you wanted and some things you did, Gabriel Agreste is shark bait, Denial, Consequences, Principal Damocles salt, caline bustier salt, the impotence of Gabriel Agreste, snarky Nooroo, lies and the lying liars who tell them, Lila’s brain is a narcissistic hellscape, Lila’s mind is built like an Escher piece, Alec Cataldi salt, Adrien Sugar, wholesome salt, Fu Salt, Kwami Shenanigans, Nooroo is a little shit

Summary: The Impotence of Gabriel Agreste

Notes: I’ve received some amazing fanart for Rebellion. @redcoloredpanda drew Luka and Adrien snuggling, and @momo-oh-nono drew Marinette’s rocker outfit! So now chapter 17 is writing itself in my head, yay! Thank you for inspiring me!

AO3 link

Chapters 1-2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14

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Gabriel Agreste watched, fingers steepled, as the scene outside the school unfolded. He had, of course, realized quite quickly attempting to counter Adrien’s claims would be a foolish move. True or not, he would look like the villain if he were to try, accused of homophobia and perhaps classism given the way this Luka boy dressed. He had cancelled the story that was to appear, and hopefully nothing would leak.

On the bright side, he had a patsy. Lila was a loose cannon, currently proving so to the entire world, and he could easily claim she had mischaracterized her relationship with his son. She was currently trying to do the same thing, taking advantage of the fact that Adrien had not yet arrived to the mob of reporters.

“He told me he loved me. He told me we would go public, and he used me and then dumped me,” the girl was telling a reporter tearfully.

Gabriel was rather displeased with the implications of that accusation, which could impact the brand.

Fortunately, the reporter was more interested in the limo that had pulled up and deposited… was that the young designer?

The girl nearly fell, but someone rushed forward to embrace her. When the camera focused…

Kagami Tsurugi.

Nathalie shifted beside him, and he could feel through the miraculous that she was as startled as he was.

He could only assume Adrien was also in the limousine; from the “leaked” text messages the previous night and implications on social media, Marinette Dupain-Cheng was an accomplice. But this meant the scion of his business partner, someone he thought would be a good influence on his son, was likely also involved. Her presence was unlikely a coincidence.

Perhaps this was information he could use, but he filed it away for later as none other than Jagged Stone exited the limo next.

Despite the video the night before of the “jam session,” it was unexpected to see the rock star accompanying his son to school.

The announcement came as a surprise, as he didn’t follow the music world terribly closely, and certainly not a ruffian like Stone. Gabriel had been unaware that Marinette had been so prolific, that she had designed anything beyond the bowler hat.

“Please prepare a dossier on Mlle. Dupain-Cheng,” he ordered Nathalie. She immediately began to tap away on her tablet. “And perhaps her parents as well. We should know who we are dealing with.”

Next to leave the limo was Adrien and his… boyfriend. Clearly, the Gorilla had not been able to intercept them as ordered. Though he’d seen the disaster that Adrien had made of his hair in the photos and video the previous night, it still shocked him.

He studied the body language of his son and Luka Couffaine, frowning. They appeared to be close, the other boy looking at him in such a way as to make the “boyfriend” claim believable. For the life of him, Gabriel couldn’t figure out how they could have met—though from the dossier Nathalie had prepared it seemed the boy’s younger sister was in Adrien’s class.

When Mlle. Tsurugi caught Lila’s wrist, he found himself letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. From the angle of the camera he had been uncertain who she intended to hit.

The teens played for the cameras masterfully, and Gabriel couldn’t help but be a little impressed. If this was staged, they had organized a believable PR opportunity on extremely short notice. If they weren’t working against his interests, he’d consider giving them internships at Gabriel.

Beside him, Nathalie let out an involuntary incredulous snort at Lila’s ridiculous accusation of pederasty.

Luka Couffaine gave a remarkably level response, and barely had Lila spoken again than the cameras jostled, moving around in a way that made it difficult to see what was happening, though it sounded like Lila let out a little shriek.

The camera’s focused on a young woman with purple in her dark hair as she yelled, “How dare you talk about my brother that way! You’re not worthy of the bottom of his shoes!”

Rather creative, as far as insults went.

Jagged Stone saw fit to introduce the girl as Luka Couffaine’s younger sister, who had been mentioned on the dossier Nathalie had prepared on the “boyfriend.” And identified their mother as a former bandmate of his.

Gabriel let out a disgusted sigh. Of all the riff-raff Adrien could consort with, he chose someone close to a disaster of a man like Jagged Stone. That certainly explained why the rocker was involved.

Lila’s desperate claims that Luka Couffaine was courting Marinette Dupain-Cheng, though interesting, were quickly refuted.

And then Kagami Tsurugi spoke, a complete falsehood as Gabriel had not been aware of this supposed boyfriend before Adrien took his Instagram account rogue the previous evening. He would have to find out if she was being misled or intentionally lying to damage his image.

He frowned at Mlle. Dupain-Cheng’s allegations of sexual impropriety toward Adrien by Lila, glancing toward Nathalie. “Have HR investigate that.”

The cameras jostled again as Lila childishly threw herself at the girl. When they focused, Lila was on the ground, a woman in a smart business skirt suit looking down at her with a bored look on her face.

Nathalie started typing notes on her tablet as the woman, apparently M. Stone’s lawyer, outlined a list of charges against Lila. Her fingers stopped at Lila’s accusation—which, while twisted, was technically not entirely a lie.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. He had miscalculated, using this girl. She was far too much a loose cannon, clearly, out only for herself. He had known that, of course, but thought her controllable, someone who would not bite the hand that fed her.

“Have HR fire her immediately. Gabriel social media should put out a statement announcing that, stating an investigation will be made into the sexual assault claims.”

More drama unfolded on the TV, the situation interrupted by the inept principal of the school. Lila’s attempts at getting Mlle. Couffaine in trouble were cut off by the lawyer, who announced further charges based on the defamation and attempted assault against M. Couffaine.

He watched, stewing, as a touching goodbye took place between his son and the other boy, as they exchanged pet names, even.

Truly, if this was a performance, much had gone into it in under 24 hours. It left him uneasy.

The paparazzi continued filming as Mlle. Tsurugi left, as Jagged Stone tried to coax his ridiculous crocodile out of the limo, as Adrien and Luka flirted further, as Lila shrieked and tried to interrupt through what would have likely been violence if not for the snapping crocodile taking offense to her.

Her ire turned to Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, whose large father stepped in front of her as a shield, before she was scolded by the principal and ordered into the school.

Lila’s last attempt to turn matters in her favor, claiming Marinette was a bully, was laughed off by Jagged Stone.

The press swarmed them, calling out questions that were largely inane at best, though the one questioning the relationship between Mlle. Dupain-Cheng and Mlle. Tsurugi caught Gabriel’s attention.

“I think a call to Mme. Tsurugi shortly will be in our best interests, perhaps,” he murmured.

“I’ll add it to your schedule, sir.”

He was impressed when his son shut down the reporters, asserting his right as a minor not to be filmed. The boy had jumped to defend Mlle. Dupain-Cheng from a question regarding the “leaked” text messages, confirming he released them himself.

Ending his association with Lila Rossi was necessary, particularly if she was foolish enough to leave such damning evidence to be released.

The drama moved into the school, where the cameras would not follow, and Gabriel stood.

“You will watch through a butterfly?” Nathalie asked.

He only nodded in response as he moved past.

Gabriel didn’t transform until he was safely in his lair, ignoring the reproachful look from Nooroo. He quickly sent an Akuma out toward the school, letting it hover so he could get a better picture.

What he found was… boring. The group including Adrien and Mlle. Dupain-Cheng were seated outside the principal’s office, waiting on something. The girl herself was half-asleep against her mother.

Movement and anger caught his attention. A woman was stalking across the courtyard, then up the stairs. She marched right to Mme. Bustier’s room and started yelling… in Italian.

He guessed this was Lila Rossi’s mother.

The argument spilled into the open-air hallway, the rage from both of them potent Akuma possibilities—though he preferred not to use the younger Rossi any longer.

The Akuma was noticed, he realized, when shock and horror assailed him from all around. The Akuma dipped lower, drawn by the tumult, only to be captured.

Lila Rossi’s mind was a dungeon of grudges and entitlement, filthy and haughty. It always had been, but the sheer narcissism of her inflated self-import was cloying in a sickening way.

Before he could even begin to speak to her, though, pain assailed his senses, and he was abruptly aware that his connection had been severed. When he had his senses back, he realized his Akuma had been captured in a jar. He didn’t know what had led to that, but the emotions he felt were even more promising than the Rossis’.

The guilt and horror and anger of Alya Césaire was so potent he sent the Akuma beating against the glass to try to reach her, to no avail—it was only as strong as a simple butterfly. He couldn’t Akumatize her, no matter how powerful she would be. He couldn’t send out another Akuma, not with one already out, and Nathalie wasn’t strong enough for another try at Scarlet Hawkmoth, though this was the perfect occasion for it.

Before long, the Akuma was shut in darkness, and was thus useless.

He snarled in frustration, letting his transformation fall. Nooroo only regarded him silently.

Useless.

Only the mundane was left to him—a call to Mme. Tsurugi, after he’d calmed.

It would be hours, the Akuma long since purified by Ladybug, before he’d realize he could have recalled the power and sent out another.

No amount of railing at Nooroo would give him that opportunity back—and the kwami only murmured cheekily, “You didn’t ask” when Gabriel demanded to know why he hadn’t recommended it.

--

Marinette felt her phone buzz on her lap and snuck a peek at it.

Kagami: Are we dating now, too?

She could feel the heat rush to her face. A coughing fit overtook her. She only vaguely aware of what was going on around her, until a cup of water was pushed in her hand and she found herself in the hallway with Adrien.

He looked concerned, so she silently showed him her phone.

Another text had come in, as it turned out.

Kagami: M. Agreste called my mother. She wishes to know the answer to the question from that reporter.

To her surprise, he quirked a cheeky grin, his eyes lighting up. “Oh, you should.”

He was going to be the death of her.

[milarvela]

By his own admission, John Barrowman has always been notorious in showbusiness circles. 'I'm known for my jokes, my sense of fun, my high jinks,' he says.

But those 'high jinks' have come back to haunt him recently as a result of serious allegations against his former Doctor Who co-star Noel Clarke.

John's role as Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who began in 2005 and the character was given his own spin-off series, the far more adult Torchwood, a year later.

It launched a hugely successful career for John on both stage and screen, taking in leading roles in West End musicals, big-budget US TV shows such as superhero series Arrow, and homegrown light entertainment favourites like All Star Musicals and most recently Dancing On Ice, where he's one of the judges. He was by anyone's measure a family-friendly favourite.

Then a couple of months ago the sky fell in. Following accusations of sexual harassment against Noel Clarke, who played Mickey Smith – the boyfriend of Billie Piper's character Rose – in Doctor Who from 2005 until 2010, historic footage emerged on YouTube of a sci-fi convention, Chicago Tardis, in 2014, released by The Guardian newspaper which had investigated Clarke's behaviour on the Doctor Who set.

In an interview in front of a live audience, Clarke is seen regaling fellow cast members Annette Badland and Camille Coduri with tales of John's behaviour on the set of Doctor Who, exposing himself 'every five seconds'. Clarke then jokes with the audience not to do this at their workplace or they might go to prison.

The allegations levelled against Clarke are extremely serious. At least 20 women have come forward to accuse him of sexual harassment and bullying, 'inappropriate touching and groping' and secretly filming naked auditions before sharing the videos without consent.

He denies all the allegations, but BAFTA has since suspended the Outstanding Contribution award it bestowed on him just weeks earlier, and the BBC has shelved any future projects he was working on with them.

Now John's behaviour on the sets of both Doctor Who and Torchwood has come under scrutiny once again. The furore has led to a video of Captain Jack Harkness being expunged from the current immersive Doctor Who theatre show Time Fracture, a planned Torchwood audio production featuring John and former Doctor Who lead David Tennant being scrapped and doubt about whether he will be invited back to the Dancing On Ice panel.

ITV will announce the line-up for the next series in September. John immediately issued an apology following the emergence of the video back in May, but today he's decided to speak exclusively and candidly to Weekend to give his side of the story.

'The moment has come to set the record straight,' he says from the Palm Springs, California, home he shares with his husband Scott Gill. 'This is the first time – and the last – I will address this subject. And then I plan to draw a thick black line under it.'

Firstly he says it's important to set the scene. On the set of Torchwood, which followed a team of alien hunters and explored themes of sexuality and corruption, he had what might be called a 'relaxed' attitude to nudity, and would wander around in an open robe. But it's claimed that he was well known for flashing and mooning at cast and crew alike on both the Doctor Who and Torchwood sets.

As Captain Jack Harkness I was the star of Torchwood, so I felt it was down to me to lead the company and keep them entertained,' he explains. 'When I was doing a nude scene or a love scene it was clear in the script I'd be naked and everyone would have known about that at least 48 hours in advance. So I'd be waiting in my trailer wearing just a robe with a sock over my "parts". Then, if I were standing waiting to film a scene where I needed to be nude and someone came into view, I'd make a joke to put them and myself at ease. My actions were simply designed to defuse any potential awkwardness among the cast and crew.

'I've never been someone who's embarrassed about his body so it didn't bother me if anyone saw me naked,' he adds. 'The motivation for what I'd call my "tomfoolery" was to maintain a jokey atmosphere. There was absolutely nothing sexual about my actions and nor have I ever been accused of that.' Whether this sort of behaviour would defuse any awkwardness, or actually foster it, is debatable.

WHY I'VE GONE INTO THERAPY

This scandal has clearly not left John unscathed. 'It was upsetting my mental health,' he tells me. 'My husband Scott suggested I talk to somebody. I won't discuss what I've said in therapy sessions – that's a matter of doctor/patient confidentiality – but I don't mind admitting it's helped me a great deal.

'It's made me aware that despite how much cancel culture may talk about respecting people's mental health, too often they don't respect the mental health of the people they're trying to cancel. So I needed to understand what was happening, which is why I went to speak to somebody.'

Has he had more than one session? 'Yes. It's a conversation that's still going on,' he says with a wry laugh. 'Seriously, whatever the situation, if you feel you need to reach out to someone it's very important to keep talking.'

'If what happened had taken place in the changing rooms after a rugby match it would be regarded as no more than a prank,' he continues. 'On the other hand, it's never going to happen in an accountant's office or a supermarket. But my job is not a regular nine-to-five, we're a family working long hours and in close proximity to each other.' Again, one has to bear in mind that a rugby changing room would be an all-male environment. There were many women in the cast and crew of the TV shows.

'In the theatre quick costume changes happen in the wings all the time, with everyone stripping off to get into their new outfits in time for the next scene,' he says. 'Girls might be braless, boys only in jockstraps. That's just how it is and no one gives it a second thought. But I accept that my behaviour at the time could have caused offence.'

Although John's recollection is that no one complained at the time, and he says that no one has complained since, at one point he was called in for a private conversation with Julie Gardner, an executive producer on Doctor Who and Torchwood. She has confirmed to The Guardian that she did receive a complaint.

'My antics had come to her attention and she told me I should rein in my behaviour,' he recalls. 'In blunt terms, she had just two words of advice: "Grow up!" That struck a chord. I did as I was told and my behaviour changed overnight. I'd still be full of jokes and fun, but no more naked pranks. I can see now my actions were pretty juvenile but this was a different time and it's something I would not do today.'

When these rumours were swirling back in 2008, it's also said John exposed himself during a Radio 1 interview in which his behaviour was being discussed. He denies this today.

'I was being goaded by the presenters about my reported behaviour on the Doctor Who set. I went along with it but I didn't actually do anything inappropriate in the studio. What would have been the point, it was on the radio? Still, it created such a stir that the following day I decided to make a full public apology and get on with my life.'

And that might have been that, but for the accusations against Noel Clarke coming to light. 'It seems to me that I've become collateral damage to a much bigger story,' says John.

Given his and Clarke's high profiles and the severity of the allegations against Clarke, this is hardly surprising. Has he spoken to his former co-star since the balloon went up?

'I have not.' Does he plan to? 'I do not. But listen, I'm not trying to cast myself in the role of victim here.' That said, he clearly resents these stories re-emerging, although he has had messages of support.

'In fact many members of the cast and crew have been in touch since this latest storm blew up giving me their support,' he insists. 'I won't name them because I don't want anyone to find themselves in the firing line.'

However, Gareth David-Lloyd, who played bisexual Jack Harkness's lover Ianto Jones in Torchwood, has chosen to go public about working with John. 'In my experience John's behaviour on set was always meant to entertain, make people laugh and keep their spirits and energy high on what were sometimes very long working days,' he said.

'It may be because we were so close as a cast that professional lines were sometimes blurred in the excitement. I was too inexperienced to know any different but we were always laughing. The John I knew on set would never have behaved in a way he thought was affecting someone negatively. From what I know of him, that is not his nature. He was a whirlwind of positive energy, always very generous, kind and a wonderfully supportive lead actor.'

In the weeks following this new public scrutiny John has had time to reflect, and has come to the conclusion there are two issues. One is the aftermath of the #MeToo movement; the other is cancel culture.

'I'm a supporter of #MeToo because no person should ever feel that in order to succeed in their career they can be coerced into doing something sexual against their will.

'My problem with cancel culture, on the other hand, is that it can take the form of intolerance and prejudice. It's a culture with no shades of grey. There's no leeway for forgiveness or room for recognising any change in someone's behaviour. Cancel culture tends to talk at you or past you or through you, rather than listen to you. Dialogue is extremely rare.'

He sounds upset now. 'Look, I'm in a good place,' he insists. 'I've got a great husband, a great family, a great "fan family" around me. But I've found it difficult. And yes, some of the things that were being said have been hurtful.

'Scott and I would go to bed on a Saturday night dreading the stories in the Sunday papers. And then I'd wake up to lies. One newspaper printed as fact that I'd been dropped as a judge by Dancing On Ice. Well, apart from the fact that the new panel isn't decided until the autumn, no one from ITV had spoken to me or my agent about this latest upset.'

Ashley Banjo, leader of dance troupe Diversity and a fellow Dancing On Ice judge, has only worked with John for the past couple of years so did not know him during the time of the behaviour he's now being scrutinised for, but has publicly spoken out in support.

'I've told John I'd readily work with him again,' said Ashley. 'He's always fun on Dancing On Ice and he's been very respectful and considerate. I'd like to see him come back. The impression I get from this story is it's something small and historic, something blown out of proportion. What I'm not a supporter of in regard to cancel culture is when the speed of allegation is much faster than the speed of investigation. Before I make a judgment I want to see and understand the facts.'

There has been outrage on Twitter, with many users pointing out that John's 'tomfoolery' could be regarded as indecent exposure, and that the fact it happened among work colleagues is no excuse. 'You don't do that in work. You don't do it full stop. If you did it in the city centre you'd be arrested,' posted one user.

So does he regret the way he behaved? 'You can't wind the clock back,' he says.

'They were different times, which is why I wouldn't do now what I did then. I've acknowledged that by the way my behaviour has changed. The trouble is that certain cancel culture enthusiasts are not allowing me to acknowledge it. I've always believed that the reason I was put on this planet was to bring joy to people, make them laugh. How I do that has evolved over the years. I'm still using humour, just in a different way than might have been the case ten or 20 years ago.'

Now, he says, he wants to move on, both personally and professionally. Many years ago he bought a house for his parents down the street from where he lives with Scott.

'They're getting on now and I've been their primary carer throughout the pandemic, doing their shopping, getting their prescriptions from the pharmacy and so on. My mother broke her pelvis at one stage but she's on the mend now. I'm just thankful I can keep an eye on her and my father. I'm thankful too to the scientists for coming up with the means by which we can combat Covid via vaccinations, and the healthcare workers for administering them and looking after us so selflessly. We owe them a great debt of gratitude.'

What about professionally? 'Well, I'm at the early stages of putting together a show full of anecdotes and songs that will tour throughout the UK when restrictions are finally lifted. As far as I'm concerned, it's back to business as usual.'

But it remains to be seen later this year with the announcement of the line-up for Dancing On Ice whether John's career too might be put on ice.

***

I can see now my actions were pretty juvenile but this was a different time and it's something I would not do today.'

Well, to be blunt, he’s too old to be doing it anyway, people would just roll they eyes at a pathetic old lech instead of maybe giggling at a younger man’s adorable/innocent/whatever tomfoolery.

'In fact many members of the cast and crew have been in touch since this latest storm blew up giving me their support,' he insists. 'I won't name them because I don't want anyone to find themselves in the firing line.'

I think he should name them. Just for fun. Come on! Because I doubt there have been (m)any. If this story teaches anything, it’s that whatever you say/do can come back to haunt your celebrity status years later in most unexpected ways. Or maybe he was always the intended main course, Noel Clarke only the appetiser...

[cowboyjen68]

hi Jen, I don't know how much you'll be able to help with this, but I'm worried. I'm worried I might be more into girls than I initially thought I was (I identify as bisexual) and that I'm just dating my boyfriend of 3+ years for convenience. but I wouldn't feel everything I feel for him if that was the case, right? there's nothing really driving this concern other than my pining for female intimacy that he can't give me. but at the same time, I would never cheat on him. (1/?)

“I don't want to leave him. I do love him. but I feel like if we never started dating I might have identified as a lesbian somewhere down the line. I'd never cheat on him, he makes me happy, but I don't know how to cope with the feeling that I might be a bad girlfriend for this. it feels wrong to have simple desires that he can't fulfill. even knowing that I have no desire to carry them out unless something were to happen between us. I feel like I'm trying to suppress the wlw part of myself (2/2)”

ANSWER: This might an be controversial or unpopular answer but I want to be truthful and open about this. You are not alone and, in fact, what you feel is not rare for bi women. ( i can’t speak as much about bi men because I don’t know many and those I do know I don’t know well). 

I have many bi women friends and the most commonality they share as far as life experience is, by their mid 20′s they are married (or committed )to men, never dated or had intimacy with a woman and find themselves pondering (and missing) the idea of loving a woman.   Bi women struggle with the same obstacles as lesbians with the bent that they do find men attractive. So... they often assume that what they feel for females is passing, or curiosity at best. Whereas lesbians convince themselves that loving women is just not  a thing or that they must be misunderstanding their feelings, bi women do as well but they have a genuine attraction to men so they move that direction with even less self reflection.

Our society programs us, pretty much from day one, to “find a nice boy”. (to a two year old who hugs her neighbor boy “aww is he your boyfriend?”.)  We learn quickly that our “value” and societal worth revolve around pairing up and getting married, producing a family. Bi women are not immune to this any more than straight women. So, many never even date women. They see the trouble it can cause families, they fear disappointing loved ones and cultural ideals, They focus on their attraction to men. All this being said, it does not mean you love your boyfriend (husband) any less. 

And i do hear the comparison that it should be the same as straight or gay couples who are committed to each other..we see other attractive people but have chosen our one person. But I have observed that IT IS different for bi women.They truly miss or feel a heavy loss at not having experienced intimacy or a connection with a woman. I would argue that the chemistry between two females is diametrically different than that of a male and female. (not better or worse perhaps, but unique to their own dynamic.)

I also don’t believe that bi women are inherently poly, nor do I think they are more likely to cheat on their male companion, nor to i think they “want it both ways”. It is just not that simple. And not a single bi woman I have spoken to are simply wanting a “quicky” with some random woman. They are surely curious about the sexual but the craving for connection with another female on an intimate level goes much deeper. 

My advice. You should consider talking to your boyfriend. DO not just ignore this. In my experience it does not go away and the more you push it away the more hyper focused you can become. It will get to a point where he can feel something is amiss and will become resentful or hurt. You will become resentful towards him because he is unable to fulfill something your heart and body misses on a level that goes beyond sexual curiosity. What you two work out together is between you. 

There are a few ways it can go. He could be understanding and be strong  enough to have a discussion about your feelings and what is best. You might break up, take a break or decide to explore more unconventional options. He might react poorly or with jealousy and demand you to either forget it or break up. It this case, you don’t want to stay with such a man anyway. Or he might be sincerely hurt and upset but want to time, maybe therapy or research. This you can work with as well. 

I can be very honest and say that I know of of 3 bi women who are married or in a committed relationship with men who were able to successfully navigate a solution that involved another women. There  was honest and open discussions and, while the husband often did feel upset, jealous and even angry, he was able to work with his spouse through those feelings. The woman they chose was someone they both had to trust and who there was genuine affection for. Those stories are still in the making.

Two friends of mine did break up, not out of anger or hate, but just knowing that one or both could not handle it differently at that stage. Both of those women are now a committed relationship with other women. 

So to shorten this. What you want goes beyond the “the simple intimacy”, you are not a bad person. Nor a bad girlfriend. IF you think this will be with you long term and could damage a relationship you want to maintain, talk to him. Maybe seek a female therapist to talk things through. If you do decide to talk with him, be aware that just the discussion can be a deal breaker for some people. In any case, what you are going through.. you are not alone by any means. 

[tragicies]

♡ ˙      jenna coleman ,  she / her ,  twenty - seven      /        𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐀  𝐎𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐃  has  been  displaced !      originally  from  𝙳𝙾𝙲𝚃𝙾𝚁  𝚆𝙷𝙾 ,  she  has  found  themselves  in  new  york  city ,  without  their  memories .    they’re  currently  working  as  a  fifth  grade  teacher   &   tend  to  come  across  as  DARING,  INTELLEGENT ,  but  also  BOSSY   &   OBSESSIVE .     we’ll  see  if  their  𝒎𝒂𝒑𝒍𝒆  𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒇  𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒊𝒏  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒅   &   𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓  𝒔𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 ,  𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎  𝒕𝒐  𝒃𝒆  𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕  𝒂  𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆  𝒕𝒐𝒐  𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒕 ,  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍  𝒕𝒐  𝒅𝒆𝒇𝒚  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆  𝒂  𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒐𝒏  𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔  𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓   personality  will  be  their  downfall  or  their  saving  grace  in  these  streets .      /       link ,  24 ,  they / them ,  est . 

𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒  .

full name :     clara  oswin  oswald . alises :   the  impossible  girl ,  soufflé  girl . age :   twenty  seven . gender & pronouns :   cis female ,  she / her . sexual & romantic orientation :    bisexual / biromantic . species :   human . star  sign :   sagittarius . identifying  marks :    tba .

𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 .

the  doctor  technically  met  clara  years  ago  when  he  was  in  his  first  generation .   or  a  version  of  her  at  least .    she  told  him  which  TARDIS  to  steal   &  then  he  barely  encountered  her  hundreds  of  other  times ,  too ,  but  not  long  enough  to  make  much  of  an  impression .   though  all  of  these  claras  were  never  the  real  clara .

the  doctor  first  met  the  real  clara  in  his  11th  regeneration  after  he  finally  made  a  lasting  impression  on  two  of  the  other  claras ,  called  echoes ,  in  time .    she  caught  his  attention  because  the  fact  he  had  met  her  twice   &   she  had  died  twice  should  be  impossible  but  there  she  was !

after  the  two  stopped  a  crisis  where  people  were  being  trapped  in  their  own  wifi ,  clara  was  invited  to  travel  with  the  doctor .    she  agreed   &   they  set  off .

when  the  great  intelligence  attempted  to  once   &   for  all  kill  the  doctor ,  the  impossible  mystery  of  clara  was  finally  revealed  as  she  stepped  into  the  doctor’s  timeline  which  created  thousands  upon  thousands  echoes  of  herself  throughout  the  doctors  history  to  undo  the  damage  done .

after  this,  though ,  the  doctor  did  regenerate  which  clara  was  unsure  of  what  to  think  about  at  first  but ,  despite  how  different  he  became ,  he  was  still  the  doctor   &  still  her  dearest  friend .

as  time  went  on  clara  became  more   &  more  reckless   &   even  somewhat  addictive  to  the  lifestyle  of  traveling  with  the  doctor .   she  refused  to  let  it  go  despite  the  difficulty  of  keeping  up  with  their  adventures   &   having  a  normal  life .

this  difficulty  came  back  to  haunt  her  eventually  when  it  caused  the  loss  of  her  boyfriend ,  danny  pink ,  proving  she  couldn’t  have  a  simple  life   &  a  life  with  the  doctor  so  seamlessly .   even  so ,  she  still  chose  to  continue  traveling  with  the  doctor .

her  travels  with  the  doctor  came  to  an  end  when  she  sacrificed  herself  to  a  raven  shade  belonging  to  an  immortal  ashildr ,  a.k.a.  Me ,  to  save  her  friend  rigsy  when  he’s  wrongly  accused  of  a  crime  in  ashildr’s  refugee  trap  street  for  extraterrestrial .

however ,  the  time  lords  later  extracted  clara  one  heartbeat  before  her  death ,  essentially  frozen  in  time ,  hoping  to  get  information  of  her .    afterwards  she  expected  to  be  returned  to  her  death  but  managed  to  flee  with  the  doctor .   the  doctor  admitted  to  them  being  too  dangerous  for  each  other   &   had  his  memory  wiped  of  her  existence .  

clara ,  on  the  other  hand ,  now  with  her  own  TARDIS  went  off  with  ashildr  &   the  two  decided  clara  would  return  to  gallifrey  but  since  she  was  still  stuck  between  heart  beats  making  essentially  immortal  until  she  returned  she  decided  to  “take  the  long  way  around”   to  get  to  gallifrey   &   went  off  on  adventures  with  ashildr  first .

this  was   the   ...   shortest  i  could  make  this  i  swear .

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊 .

she’s  from  london  originally  !    i  am  still  extremely  flexible  on  her  family   &  friends  background  here ,  all  i  do  have  is  she  was  given  a  book  of  101  places  to  travel  from  her  parents  as  a  child  before  their  death   ( a  tragic  accident )   &   often  dreamed  of  going  around  the  world  though  has  never  gotten  the  chance .

she’s  always  aimed  to  be  as  clever  as  she  can .    would  do  things  like  run  for  class  president  just  to  prove  someone  wrong  when  they  said  she’d  lose  if  she  did .

often  worked  in  tutoring  programs  for  younger  grades  seeing  as  she  was  extremely  good  with  kids .

moved  to  new  york  for  university  in  attempt  to  finally  live  the  dreams  of  traveling  she  always  had .    during  this  time  she  worked  as  a  nanny  as  a  way  for  money .

now  she’s  a  fifth  grade  teacher  &   loves  her  class  even  though  her  first  few  years  teaching  were  quite  rough .   it  took  sometime  for  her  to  get  respect  in  the  classroom  but  she’s  quite  unquestionable  now .

is  constantly  busy .   never  sits  down  much  but  probably  should .   she  feels  like  she  needs  to  be  up   &   about  at  all  times .

has  a  lot  of  side  hobbies  bc  she  picked  up  a  ton  of  extracurricular  stuff  as  a  kid   &   now  just  has  one  million  things  she  likes  to  go  do .

i  am  literally  open  to  so  many  connections .

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 .

none  so  far  but  i’ll  add  as  i  get  some !