#loverman rambling

[shadowqnights]

loverman question here, how did you come up with your rewrite of katelyn? lowkey katelyn doesn’t get enough love outside of “hot strong woman” so i think it would be cool to hear how you decided her backstory and changes you made like her family, her last name, guard academy relationships, and her role in future arcs

HI I LOVE MY REWRITE/LOVERMAN KATELYN! Let's chat about her cause I'm insane.

Honestly, I think loverman!Katelyn is one of my most authentic and up-to-date rewrite depictions that I wouldn't change much of when it came down to new-rewrite stuff. I have a LOT to say about her though so this is going to be long, my bad! I'll break down like each specific explanation for things you listed here into Sections, and then anything else I think of can just slot in.

Backstory and Family Life

I think the biggest changes lay here, and I think I actually got most of the like backstory inspiration here from Garroth. They are fables for each other, warnings about how the other could have turned out. Of course, they've got significant differences, and Garroth's position as the 'heir' is far more significant for O'Khasis than Katelyn's is, but essentially I'm passionate about Garroth and Katelyn growing up as peers and equals around the same age in O'Khasis. They both understand each other, even watching each other from a distance, being raised in rich O'Khasis neighbourhoods as eldest children expected to take up the mantle of their parents' expectations and legacies. They both attended Guard Academy together, but they weren't exactly friends there.

Katelyn's parents and their personalities are somewhat borrowed from their MyStreet counterparts - Elizabeth being a sharp and cunning socialite of sorts with strong ties to the Ro'meave family, hence where Katelyn and Garroth's relationship stems from. They would see each other regularly at dinners and large-scale events. Her father Eric is a very well-renowned guard from Tu'la; he taught her how to fight. She has a number of younger brothers, one of which is still Kacey but I haven't been able to write yet. Garroth's obviously the eldest of his brothers, and they both take up a lot of duties that involve caring for their younger siblings and trying to keep them safe from the more mature burdens that come with high O'Khasis society.

I think the big reason I wanted to incorporate O'Khasis into Katelyn's backstory was so that she and Garroth could have this interesting dynamic of both understanding and hatred specifically because of that understanding. They're not confused about each other, they knew exactly why they ended up where they did, they just don't like it because it reminds the other too much of themselves. They are each other's cautionary tales. Katelyn serves as this vision of hell for Garroth where he sees exactly what kind of terror he could have become if he had stayed as a guard in O'Khasis - he could have become a significant member of the Jury, and even if Zane had not been controlling it, he still would have become an obedient soldier. He despises her because he's afraid of that person, but at the same time wants to see her free of it because he knows, just like he once had to figure out, that she deserves better and she can be free. Seeing Garroth in Phoenix Drop disgusts Katelyn because she knows that's what she could have been. She could have run away and chosen to begin a new life, but that would mean abandoning her family and abandoning her dream. She hates that he shunned his responsibilities but she still burdened hers, and now they are exactly where the other might long to be. She wishes that she could have run, too - in a way, I think it also stings to think of Garroth living an honest country life in a small distant town, not just because that's what she could have made for herself, but also because she knows that Jeffory was raised in Bright Port and very much only became a guard to be able to go home and protect that small, cozy lifestyle. Only to also be taken in by the city and lose himself there by working for Zane. She envies Garroth because she knows that so many lives were stolen by the Jury's bounds, and now even those small-town boys have become killers.

By the time they see each other as adults again for the first time, Garroth is realising that maybe he would be more useful working to enact change from within O'Khasis - whereas Katelyn is realising that while she's helping her family from within O'Khasis, she isn't actually doing any moral good and that Zane has deceived her. They were both corrupted by their superiors back home, and now strive to find any sort of identity apart from what they were Made for. Garroth was raised for nobility but strains to hold the sword; Katelyn was made into a weapon by Zane but struggles to reclaim the young girl she was prior to that. She feels satisfied that she's taken such a far turn and separated herself from her mother, but has somehow also betrayed her father in the process of trying to protect him. She has lost herself in the sword, and since there is no amount of righteousness or goodness in being wielded by Zane, she has disappointed him.

Garroth and Katelyn disgust each other because they secretly want what the other has. They are both wanting for more, but hate each other for their cravings because while Garroth is at his best, Katelyn is at her worst, and then the other way around as well. That's why I inserted Katelyn where she is. Their bond in MyStreet is equally as interesting, but I think it's so fun to explore in MCD. They contrast and complement each other so beautifully. They even looked pretty identical as babies, since hair dye is real in my rewrites, and Katelyn didn't start altering her hair until she met Ivy. I'm fairly sure somewhere in my Ro'meave family tree that they're distant cousins or something.

NOTE: I wish I could tell you that her last name has like a deep and interesting meaning but when I tell you that I really don't remember when or how I came up with it, it just happened at random when I was mushing words in my brain for the PDH rewrite roster. Her surname is La Vatris, which I guess originally I was trying to go for something French considering la, but vatris literally has 0 meaning to my knowledge in. any language. But that's her name now and I don't want to change it, I just have to deal with the fact that it means nothing and I have no idea how I came up with it. I think largely because it complements Ro'meave nicely, considering their families are so interwoven.

Guard Academy

I love playing with my little dolls at the Guard Academy. In general I think I love fleshing out how the MCD guards were at the academy because I imagine this is how gleeful Jess was when writing PDH. For so many characters, this period is treated like their awkward, vague little blip in their lives with no real significance. They went to school x2. The End. Like no. This is the juiciest time of their lives. These are teenagers-young adults with swords. I'm putting them in fantasy high school. Fuck you. The children yearn to hit each other with weapons.

The answers to your question here are actually way simpler, since Katelyn doesn't have that many academy relationships and the ones she does have were just important enough to me to want to form earlier in her life.

Like mentioned before, she knew Garroth in the academy but they weren't really friends. In fact, it's really awkward for her to see him around, despite the fact that they probably need each other. It's plain embarrassing. Garroth's in this horrifically awkward period where he's struggling to socially relate to a lot of the other kids, who aren't exactly raised to be Lords, much less told by their fathers that they'll be a king one day. She's also actually around a year younger than him I thiiiink? They have different classes and entered at different times. Ignore him for now his only purpose is for like incredibly awkward meetings and for Zane and Garte to visit to pick him up sometimes.

There are only really two relationships that mattered enough to me to like, build a foundation upon the Guard Academy. Ivy and Jeffory.

Ivy.

Ivy is Katelyn's roommate, and they get along fucking horribly. They kind of hate each other all of the time, which provides great base foundation for the future where they have this toxic yuri going on, and it becomes that Ivy is the only person she can trust to communicate with about her family because they have so much hateful dirt on each other that they either have to work together or just betray each other. God I'm trying to think of how to explain Katelyn and Ivy without talking too much.

Well firstly I think it's important and definitely not projecting to write core single-sex boarding school experiences where you hate your roommate so much that you are a little bit in love with them. I will have to do a separate post talking about Ivy at some people if anyone's interested. On a surface level, they effortlessly grind each other's gears in a way that no one else can. Pure negative vibes. Ivy is relentless obsessive energy in a way that grates on Katelyn's ears specifically - Katelyn's passive aggressive silences and snarky comments are designed specifically to piss Ivy off. They fight constantly, to the point that it's so familiar that it's welcomed. Katelyn often remarks that she has never met someone so annoying; Ivy would say the same about her, despite the fact that they have such starkly different personalities. But at the same time they endure each other - Ivy dyes Katelyn's hair and she never stops after that day. Katelyn looks out for her and undergoes a well-needed arc, just as Garroth has to, about their privilege. Ivy's obsession with the boys (and specifically Garroth) serves to alienate Katelyn as she struggles to place a name to the feeling of liking women (a gut feeling provoked additionally by the paintings of Menphia hung in the academy, if you've read Loverman).

I also included her relationship with Ivy early cause it's a really strong introduction to their future arcs. Ivy mentions off-handedly a couple of times these 'conspiracy theories' - and some of them truly are conspiracies, but others have foundation - things like O'Khasis planning to reinstate monarchy + rebellion against the Ro'meaves spreading throughout the city, even things like dissent in Tu'la - all of these things fed to her by her parents, but still challenge how Katelyn sees her home. I'll have to find the screenshots where I talked about it before, that Ivy is from a struggling small town forcibly taken into O'Khasis Alliance and has a very strong hatred of O'Khasis only to later be drawn into its luxuries and sticks incredibly close to Zane. She has a reverse arc of Katelyn, who on the contrary grows up being proud of her home but then later becomes disconnected from it. Life in the Jury is so competitive that they literally are put at each other's throats to vy for Zane's attention. They are bound together, but never exactly enemies, but never friends either. Hateful toxic yuri who have to stick together for their own benefit. Ivy keeps watch over Katelyn's family (half of which being rebels + fake their own deaths in order to hide) when she is away in Phoenix Drop. In return, Katelyn fights hard to save her life in the future. She and Ivy, as well as both of their families, are strongly interwoven with the future of O'Khasis and the Jury. Post-timeskip, they have a lot to do with those rebel rumours and Tu'la.

Jeffory.

I've written so much already I am so sorry. Jeffory is a little simpler than Ivy thank god. The reason that their relationship is so strong in the academy is literally just because I want them as closely bonded as possible. I want them to have years of friendship and sexual tension under their belt. I want it to hurt so horrifically when he dies. I want her to have to bandage up a wound that keeps on overflowing despite her best efforts, one that never stops bleeding because he is quite literally an organ inside her that she needs to live. He is her first friend at the academy and quite literally the kindest person that she has ever met. She is so fucking filled with guilt over Jeffory - not just his death, but how his life changed for the worse because he met her. Despite being standoffish and cautious (think of a puffed up stray cat showing teeth to try and protect itself), he shows her complete innocent kindness. It never breaks throughout their time at the academy - even when he is bullied relentlessly, he remains golden of heart, and sticks up for her. They are incredibly close. Sexual tension isn't really the correct word. It feels like they were holding their breath for their entire lives but the release never quite came to fruition. Their friendship was so whole and pure that it just felt like it should have been a natural next step. They were best friends and they were in love with each other for years but neither of them were ever ready.

Jeffory was very much the One good thing in Katelyn's life. If she had anything, she had him. That's why it's so important for them to meet so early in Guard Academy, to be each other's first true real friends. Good enough friends for him to refuse to go back to Bright Port just to be able to stay with her in O'Khasis. He fell for her first, very early, but when she fell for him I think she was very scared. They've kissed but never slept together. By the time she had come to terms with her feelings, he was head over heels for a darling woman he met at a tavern, and that was that! She loved him enough to support him completely. She loved him! She helped to raise Abby, like, god. That's why its so important that Katelyn has Abby in Loverman. Because she was her father's everything but that little girl still looks like her mother, a constant reminder of not only Jeffory's death, but his marriage (that you kind of accidentally assisted in breaking, by the way!). How do you even live with that. Well you don't, actually, you become the weapon that your master wants to make of you and you start blindly swinging as if that will bring him back. Jeffory is literally the symbol of a golden heart, precious purity and righteousness, and she did everything wrong. He was everything right in her world, and when he died, his "ghost" becomes a constant presence haunting her, chastising her for every violence committed for Zane's sake. She is wholly consumed with this fool's assassination mission, because if its an act of revenge and its someone else's fault, then she can't blame herself for his death anymore.

(Reluctant to fully explain everything seeing as there's so much I haven't written in Loverman yet but I'm definitely willing to talk more about their relationship if prompted!)

So yeah. It's important to me that they meet as children and grow up together. It makes his death all the more tragic and upsetting for her, and his 'goodness' kind of forces her to confront the worst parts of herself. Of which there is so much of.

Future Arcs

I've already briefly mentioned Katelyn's involvement with rebels and that she and Ivy have plans to do with O'Khasis/Jury/Tu'la post-timeskip, so I won't say much more on those until I've actually brainstormed them out fully. Those are probably the most concrete future arcs I have for Katelyn, but there's one other big change I made with significance that I wanna yap about.

MAGICK. Honestly giving Katelyn fire magick I think was one of my best decisions and I don't really know fully where it came from, just that I wanted it. Partially, it was for her to be Aphiah's teacher and for them to study both of their magicks together. In another way, it's a very literal/visual way to address Katelyn's anger. It's a literal take on her title as the Fire Fist, in which people only think that her hits produce sparks, but in reality it is fire. It provides a good contrast with a number of characters, like Abby who is implied to inherit a similar power from her mother, aforementioned Aph, and also separates her a little from Garroth in terms of raw talent. It is unpredictable and took her years to be able to control it to the point of safely wielding in battle, and even so has to use gloves + weapons to contain it. It reacts actively to Aph's magicks. It serves as a rough patch during Guard Academy where she has a very self-isolating Frozen-type arc where she is afraid to hurt anyone, and even injures Jeffory just because she got too happy with him. It's a cruel thing, that forces her to be stiff and unfeeling because any energetic emotion, anger or excitement, will start a fire, especially during hormonal teenage years. It also opens up an interesting conversation about the origin of magicks in my MCD rewrite and the certain levels of magicks. The most distrusted of which being Godspeak, the first form of magick discovered prior to the Golden Age (birth of the Divine Warriors), but also closely followed by the properties held by Katelyn and Aph, fire and light respectively, which can be used to not only heal/accelerate the growth of the land, but also to burn. Abby's would also fall under that category, that being ice that's canonically scarred Katelyn in Loverman before. So her magick is definitely a great way to talk more about that and I'm so keen to develop that further in her future arcs.

[Fun fact being that forms of Godspeak are incredibly rare, and include things like hypnosis in the form of mind control or memory-play. If that rings a bell for any other magick user :) ]

Oh my god okay I need to stop here I think I'm about to pass out sorry if any of this is worded weird I'm about to fall asleep but I suddenly got plagued with the need to answer this ask. I finally found the words. And like as always if anyone wants more clarification on a specific point they find interesting feel free to ask or even dm! You can tell I like to talk about MCD + Rewrite clearly. Have fun and god please tell me your thoughts on anything.

[cult-of-the-eye]

what did they feed Ricky Montgomery to make him sing such horrifically heartfelt songs

[mushroomjar]

I hate the Banana Fish fandom, I can't listen to Ricky Montgomery without getting sad and thinking about AshEiji

[suntoru]

guys wtf these satosugu edits on my fyp are not ok >:(

[saunafrogg]

i just finished banana fish again and man i cant stop thinking about it i am so mentally unwell

[mocha-bunbun]

god i miss my sad loser man so bad

[universeskies]

Aaaaaand as The Pearl to My Beloved @thejaytapes Marinaaaa 💙💙💙💙💙💙 I LOOOOOOOVE HIM SO MUCH! And it felt like I just got through a rough fall through many buildings to see incredible and Rad and Amazing Loverman like Him. Wow, such handsome Tigerfish💙💙

There are so much plenty, AND plenty of Pearls even when its quite difficult times, You will definitely FIND THAT AWESOME Flow to Your Ebb. Never give up and ALWAYS have That amazing Great search!

Who is gonna be the Pearl to my Marina....

Who's gonna be the one to add chaos in my life? The one to inspire change? To tell me that when you mix together colours together, you'll get a beautiful rainbow? The one to hold my hand when it gets tough? The one that will help me chase my dreams? The one to help me sleep at night?

Will I ever find my north star? The thing I've been searching for all of my life?

Will I ever find... a beautiful pearl?

[aimseytv]

this isnt an ask just a ramble i needed to get out about au sunship, i've never had tumblr before and im running on little sleep so this isnt going to be very coherent

But like the parallel between when guqqie felt guilty about getting aimsey to lie because they didn’t want acho to see them differently/yell at them vs aimsey getting angry that guqqie told michella about what hera did because aimsey didn’t want anyone to see guqqie negatively and yell at her (i can’t phrase things right) THESE SCENCES ARENT SIMILAR BUT THEY REMIND ME OF EACHOTHER SO MUCH LIKE KIND OF FORESHADOWING??

AIMSEY SAYING

“other people’s opinions… aren’t something we can control, ….. you need to not worry about what other people think of me…”

Guqqie “people shouldn’t judge you based on one action… i just want people to see that your good”

“…i just don’t think you should be so worried about the way people are gonna perceive me because at the end of the day their thoughts don’t really matter” 

and guqqie being like “they matter to me i want everyone to like you cause your great” 

“as long as you like me then i’m okay”

And this scene isn’t made like a very big deal but like it does matter obviously and then later after mr. loverman (before they see guqqs for the first time) aimsey doesn’t think guqqs likes it anymore and so like they feel like what everyone else always thought of him guqqie also thinks of him now (“youre just a demon”)

and then during the wall scene when aimsey is like did you tell michella and guqqies like yeah and aimseys upset because like 

“i didn’t want people to see you in the wrong way, guqqie!” 

“that’s not up to you!”

“yes it is! …..  i didn’t want people to see you the same way they saw me! i didn’t want it. i didn’t want it anymore. and i just didn’t want people to start making up these things and painting you in a terrible light-

people expect these things of me and they expect me to be this bad thing and i just didn’t want that to happen to you. i just didn’t want it ok…

if i told people that you beat me do you genuinely think people would just look at you and they would think that everything’s ok? No, they wouldn’t guqqie! they would see you differently. and i didn’t want that okay! i just didn’t want that! i just wanted things to be okay…”

so we’ve kind of known this whole time that aimsey really does care about what others think of him but they didn’t quite let on to it when guqqie was talking to her about it but during the wall scene we really see how much others seeing aimsey in a negative light has affected it and how much he’s been hurt by it to the point where they’re genuinely terrified of guqqie also having to go through that!! and just!!! They announcement has made me rewatch a lot of the vods/the ausunshipduo movie and im brain rotting about them but no one I know will listen to me ramble so i just needed this to go somewhere (sorry) ive reread this to see if it makes sense but my eyes hurt so idk if it does or not (im so sorry)

this is so sweet i read the entire thing :) glad you love ausmp gamer

[audaciousacolyte]

Hi lovely! First of all before I request.. How are you? How have you been? And also, I seriously enjoy your writings, keep up with the good work and ignore all the haters! They're not worth your precious time.

As for the request, could I pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee request Oswald the lucky Rabbit, Bendy and Cuphead x female reader? Like, how would they be as boyfriend or husband head canons. I hope it's not too much darling! Take all the time you need!

Have fun and have a lovely day/night/morning/evening!! <33

♡ My own Mr. Loverman ♡

Oswald the lucky Rabbit, Bendy and Cuphead x reader romantic partner headcanons (separate)

AN: 《|| Hello!! Thank you so much for requesting!!! I'm doing quite well, but I have been busy trying to figure out what exactly I should write. I'm relieved that you enjoy my silly rambling, and I will gladly bring you more in the future!!! However, I'm terribly sorry that I don't post too often. Please be patient with me ;w; ||》

(Boyfriend/husband headcanons)

Cuphead

♡| Cuphead is not exactly what Someone would call boyfriend material…at first.

♡| He's brash, arrogant, and quite literally has zero self control.

♡| However, the thing that makes him boyfriend material is that while it might not seem like it, he's actually a really sensitive guy.

♡| Cups likes to hide behind bravado and anger, but underneath, he cares deeply about the people around him. He just…doesn't really know how to express that.

♡| By the time you are dating, he will definitely try to communicate this… kinda.

♡| (You had thought he was mad at you for the longest time, but no. He's just awful at communicating his emotions.)

☆| Nobody knows how he managed to land you as a partner, but Bendy theorizes that there may have been witchcraft involved. (Felix disagrees, but only because he thinks that you know something that everyone else doesn't…which like, he's not wrong??)

♡| When he does announce that y'all are dating, it's at the most random moment possible. No context, no elaboration. Just.

♡| Y'all are dating now. 🤷‍♀️

☆| (Boris nearly had a heart attack when he first said it, because he genuinely did not expect it. However this was not as bad as when Mugs demanded that he was to be Cups' best man at the wedding.)

♡| Very spontaneous. I would expect a lot of last minute dates to places neither of you have been before.

☆| (Bro once took you to a monster truck rally for your anniversary. He said it "seemed cooler than I thought it would be", when you asked him about it)

♡| He is not only one of the most loyal men on the planet, but he's also incredibly attentive! Any attention you want is given to you, and Cups is more than happy to cuddle up with you any time of the day.

♡| Casually (cough cough he's so nervous please help cough cough) proposes during your 4 year anniversary with a genuine diamond ring. Literally cries when you say yes.

Bendy

♡| The best boyfriend ever. Send Post.

♡| I'm serious though, Bendy is the sweetest boyfriend to have.

♡| Having a bad day? He'll make sure that you get whatever you need to unwind and feel better.

♡| Want to spend some time together? Of course! He'll go set up a movie for the two of you to watch

♡| Can't open something? Don't worry, honey, he can open it for you (♡♡♡swoon♡♡♡)

♡| Whatever comes, through sickness and in health, Bendy will stay by your side for as long as you allow him to.

♡| Can, will and has done everything in his power to give you everything he thinks that you deserve in a partner. Anything you want, you are going to get it.

♡| (The day he proposes is also the day that Boris got tired of listening to his brother gush about you at 4 in the morning and forced him to go get married or he'd tell Felix their tragic backstory (read, he'd tell Felix to sign the damn adoption papers already))

Oswald the lucky Rabbit

♡| When he does propose, it's at a mega-fancy restaurant, and with an intricately carved golden ring. He won't cry when you say yes, but he gets REAL close.

♡| Whether you realize it or not, the two of you have practically been married for like, ever.

♡| Ever since y'all met, you act just like a married couple with how domestic y'all are with each other.

♡| Love at first sight? Nah, MARRIAGE at first sight

♡| Oswald does not notice this at all. He considers you his best friend, and he (loves you) cares about you a lot, but c'mon guys! there is NO WAY he can be in love with you! He's already in love with Ortensia, you know,HIS WIFE?

♡| (Polyamory exists for a REASON Ozzie)

♡| Ortensia would actually be the one to sit him down and talk to him about it, because you and I KNOW that our poor, sweet, dumb bunny boy won't do anything about this.

◇| (Again, like I've said in Oz's general headcanons, she'll be happy if Oswald's happy and if Oswald wants to start a polycule because he's head over heels for his bestie, then she’s okay with it.)

♡| When he does ask you out, and y'all eventually start going steady, he is such a sweetheart. I am a firm believer in hopeless romantic Oswald, and I will die upon this hill.

♡| Any bit of affection is met with really loud purring, and foot thumping.

☆| (Did you know that rabbits can purr? Yeah, neither did I.)

♡♡♡| He and Ortensia team up and propose to you at the same time with matching silver rings, each with their name carved on the inside. They both tackle-hug you to the ground when you say yes

[shadowqnights]

May I ask what are your favorite MCD or Mystreet Ships or just Platonic Relationships? I love seeing people’s opinions on different characters relationships. I’ll occasionally see one that I never saw before and I think it’s so neat.

hello welcome to bee's fav ship masterlist

I’m sorry this ask took so long, this is the one that had all my progress deleted before I could save it anywhere during a blackout. So I didn’t try again to write it for a little while. I know you mentioned MyStreet but I want to make a Separate post for that so I might reblog this later with additions but for now I’m just gonna focus on the MCD side because I know my thoughts better on that and already have plenty to say about it.

Here’s like a little masterlist of my favourite ships + platonic relationships in MCD plus some itty bitty summaries with my thoughts on them. As always I’m down to elaborate on any of these if anyone has questions! I can always make more posts specifically about any of these pairings to fully like. Flesh out and brainstorm rewrite stuff. Some characters might overlap cause multiship win. Also these might sound non-canon because this is how I write them, a lot of this is in beeland not canonical jessland. And I've probably forgotten a shitton but fuck it we ball.

Romantic/Sexual Pairings

Garroth x Laurance. No surprises here, I’m predictable, not much to say other than what I say every other time. Enemies to friends to lovers dynamic, they’re toxic and bloody and they are obsessed with each other. They are codependent. They need each other. There is something so insane about enemies to lovers when they literally have seen the worst of each other and fall in love anyway, providing a foundation for such an intimate trust because they spent so long memorising each other for the sake of hatred. Now they would die for each other, now they are black holes for each other - I never really ship Garroth with anyone else in MCD specifically because they are completely absorbed in each other, and Laur only in like alternate timelines where Garrance aren’t quite as insane for each other and are capable of being normal exes. A delicious religious corruption sun x moon guard4guard freak4freak meal for me. Rich with hungry dog metaphors and plenty of blood. I will defend them to the death. In beeland general rewrite (not Loverman, sorry), they get to live on a farm in the middle of nowhere having an honest but peaceful life. They have a couple of kids, including Malachi<3 and once they’re old they are NOT fucking bothered by plot shit again. They go through many hells and then they finally get to rest. They are so fucking in love with each other that it makes me sickened how Jess accidentally gave me source material for the most insane yaoi that would take over my life for a multitude of years. I don’t know what to even summarise here because like. I’ve written a 500k fanfiction about them that is still ongoing like I don’t know what else to say about them that I haven’t already yapped on about. There’s probably more to talk about because I never stfu about them. No one is surprised.

Katelyn x Aphiah. More enemies to lovers but also in a more guard4princess dynamic, and if you squint also worshipper4god if you consider Katelyn devout. Katelyn enters as her assassin and does literally come close to killing her multiple times only to become her target’s most dutiful loyal guard. Their magicks call to each other. Katelyn teaches her how to fight and forces Aph to confront parts of herself that were unacknowledged before their meeting. Confident that with the amount of devotion, desire and pure angry emotion that I give Katelyn, if Laurance hadn’t been at the werewolf wedding in Season 2, she easily could have had a similar outburst and take his place there to save Aph. Katelyn is obsessed with her from the start, no matter whether considering Aph a symbol, then an enemy, then finally a friend, lord and lover. And Aph is utterly captivated by Katelyn, not just her beauty, but her power. Plus, majority of the things you like about Garmau and Laurmau can be translated to Katemau but better if you try.

Dante x Nicole. No enemies here, just lovers, oh god I love these two. They are both runaways haunted by their ‘past lives’, trying to create new names for themselves and heal. I associate them both with animals - Nicole quite literally as a fox, and Dante more metaphorically as a dog or coyote. They are best friends for YEARS before anything even happens between them, and I understand why Jess saw their vibe as an innocent young love/fling but also nooo………………….. I see the visions………………. They heal together… they understand each other’s vulnerabilities and insecurities so well….. they rescue each other…. they are adoring and energetic pure t4t love formed off years of friendship and mutual respect and like. They loved each other as friends and then they loved each other More and just very naturally became partners. They’re both very playful and adventurous when they open up, and even at their most different they’re this lovely dynamic of Nicole unable to stop yapping while Dante stares quiet and adoringly at her. And they fight together side by side!!!! (Hypnosis eyes for you to think more about mcd dancole)

Those are my big three holy trinity right nowwww but. Here are some more smaller-scale MCD ship dynamics that I also looove.

(Jeffory and Katelyn are also on this list but I talked about them yesterday in that other essay so I don't feel like repeating myself. Just know that they're included.)

Vylad x Laurance, errrr it’s complicated you already know what’s going on here. soul bonded or whatever, went through hell together. don’t know each other yet understand each other better than anyone, which isn’t saying much in vylad’s case, since no one comes close to ever really understanding him but if anyone’s going to pretend to, it’ll be laur. they are each other’s hopeful fantasy, like sitting in a dark cell and saying ‘do you think that, in another life-’. in this life, you will always have some kind of self-inflicted divide (you don’t know what the divide is blocking, because it’s not exactly friendship or romance but some third secret scary thing), but the thought will never die. you’re not even friends. in another life, maybe you could have gotten along somehow, but in this life you make stupid, foolish promises about freedom. you leave each other behind eventually, as is natural. vylad had far more clarity and knowledge of shadow knights that garroth never fully grasped, that made laurance feel seen. they make him feel seen in different ways. those damn ro’meaves.

Katelyn x Travis, nooo ha ha wow it’d be so funny if we were both burdened by years of pain and sacrifice thinking that we will never receive love only to find it in an unexpected place. it’d be so funny if you managed to save each other after years of being hurt. to the point that one of you feels that she wasted her only chance at love and the other is afraid that after years of isolation he will never know what it feels like. what if you realise that what you thought was frustrating and annoying is actually exactly what you need right now. maybe he was waiting for you his whole life. maybe he feels like letting go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding for so long. oomf if you keep on cracking the stupidest flirty jokes i might have to let down my tough exterior to actually smile a tiny bit if only in wry amusement but still, he gets her smiling. let’s go swimming and heal together oomfie!!!

Cadenza x Sasha, tragic sun x moon lovers forcefully separated. like your entire friend group was definitely all in love with both of these zvahl siblings at some point but like. instead of both of you being the fascination of this nerd freak one after the other, you two were meant to be together but could never voice it. you were such close friends that everyone already thought you were a package deal. not to be separated. only for everything to go wrong just as you are about to bring those feelings to light and now you will never get the chance because the girl you love just came back Wrong. and worse, she is so convinced that its Your fault that maybe it is, because if she believes it so forcefully it has to be true. without even knowing about gene altering her memories, you just let go because its the easiest thing to do. doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Laurance x Travis, but only in like a certain AU where Garroth is his ex but they’re not fucked up enough to be entirely obsessed with each other still. I don’t really indulge in Laurance or Garroth ships often because I am so ride or die for Garrance but I think in some world Laurance and Travis fit so nicely together, the same way that Laurance has that complicated relationship with Vylad but only in the circumstance that he’s not with Garroth. You have to hear me out here as I tell you that I understand Laurance on a deep insane level and you need to trust me when I say that he’s interested in science. He spends years ruling by emotion and temper. He’s searching for something logical, something with a straightforward answer that doesn’t depend on keeping his heart in check. He’s tired of being told to meditate or do yoga or whatever, thanks Vylad, he wants something tangible. Everyone is so busy worrying about him being this dangerous, volatile ticking time bomb that needs to calm down or leave when he’s already been through an emotional washing machine’s worth of hell that season alone. He’s tired and he wants a solution to a problem that is very much emotional, something that can’t just be fixed. Shadow Knights are made out of emotion, and ugly emotions at that, and now more than ever Laurance is so exhausted by the constant of it.

(Interesting to talk about later that Garroth and Laurance essentially swap, despite their respective emotional reputations, that Garroth’s leaving is emotionally driven and while Laurance’s is triggered by emotion, as per the Shadow Knight overreaction, his actual leaving is far more logical and straightforward, making it less emotionally destructive. Despite the notion that he is more emotional and Garroth is far more repressed, their breakdowns kind of reverse. It’s a little funny. Truly made for each other. Ok sorry no more garrance.)

And oh look who it is its Travis fist deep in the dirt hunting for worms with books and maps strapped to his back conducting the most fucked up science experiment known to man, someone who is very used to putting up a kind of faux performance to survive while having an incredible amount of burdens and sacrifices hidden beneath that carefully curated persona. They’re both incredibly clever, and despite those personas being playful and flirty, they know when to lock in to get the job done. And Travis is that perfect intruiging mix of heart and logic, because he’s blunt and straightforward especially when it comes to reciting things he knows from books, but when he gets passionate he can yap for hours. He is incredibly brave and sweet but also very studious and not very emotionally intelligent. He sees that Laurance has a problem and works himself to the bone to try and fix it for him, even when Laurance is trying to explain that its something unfixable. They’re kind of rivals at first that turn into besties who study each other sometimes. They are considering dissecting each other to figure out wtf is going on in the other’s brain. In a time period where literally everyone’s waiting for Laurance to snap, and he really does snap on Travis, it’s kind of comforting for someone to be fascinated by the Shadow Knight rather than afraid of it, and wants to approach it with science and reason rather than with emotion, fear or merely just projecting their own shames onto him. Their demon sides like each other or something.

Kiki x Cadenza, they’re pretty simple and cute. Sweet little background couple both passionate about nature - obviously Kiki loves animals, and Caddie is more interested in plants and gardening. They both have these almost-dormant magicks that emerge in very beautiful, caring ways. They are soft and tender with each other and also the idea of them meeting via Cadenza being a literal hen is kind of funny. They should throw rocks at Zane together.

Lucinda x KC, except I haven’t fuuuully thought about their endgame, just that they are so cute. Rivals to friends to rivals again, then friends AGAIN, then business partners/besties for many many years. And then when they’re older, lovers. They are stronger together, their magicks respond well to each other, and their individual business ventures actually work best when combined rather than competing. They don’t get together until they’re older ladies and, while Lucinda would still be working through some teacher-related conflicts, she’d be more willing to settle after years of wandering and long after being the White Witch, she might feel more comfortable sticking to one place. But even so they’re the kind of yuri that never has an explicit conversation about it and never tell anyone, it just happens so naturally, they’re old women who live together and have a dual witchcraft store + bakery and finally get to live in a place where they don’t have to feel ashamed of themselves or be in constant competition, even playfully, they can just Live. And also owl x cat dynamic is so cute.

Platonic/Familial Pairings

I feel like a couple of these I have talked about in more detail before so these will be kiiind of brief. Here are some of my favourite platonic dynamics and I am CERTAIN I've forgotten a lot of nice little underrated friendships but fuck it here's a top three.

These AREN’T ROMANTIC !!!

Dante, Aphiah & Aaron, their dumb dog-core little found family - Aaron becoming this old, gruff older brother figure for the both of them. After being alone for so long and bearing so much suffering, he finds solace and the beginning of a healing journey in both of them. None of them are replacing what has been lost per say, but fill the gaps of pieces missing in certain ways. Aphiah the amnesiac who, if she ever had a family at all, has literally no one now, getting to have a sibling dynamic with Dante, who waits so dutifully for his sister to come home. She looks to Aaron as a mentor figure, someone who can understand her feeling of otherworldliness and how she often feels alienated from the rest of the cast while also empathising with her as a Lord and a parent. She and Dante follow him and learn from him very attentively - and for Dante, to have an older brother figure that isn’t Gene. They take care of each other. An old wolf and the cubs that started following him around one day and while gruff and stubborn as to ignoring them at first, slowly learning to open up to them, thus earning their trust.

Vylad & Katelyn, give it up for EMOTIONALLY REPRESSED BESTIESSSSS. Every time I’ve brainstormed and thought about them with oomf I’ve been so genuinely pleased at the idea of locking them in a room together where they literally would just sit in silence and not be able to start a conversation. Such a painfully stubborn, awkward silence. Every scene they have together is so fucking funny do NOT put these guys on a boat together. They’re both gods of obsessing over their stony unfeeling tough exteriors to spare themselves of feeling. Kings of having tragic ass pasts and significant people in said pasts that haunt their respective narratives in a way that they feel no one will ever understand. So they can sit Close to each other sort of and continue to not understand each other but yet be the exact fucking same. GO TO THERAPY LOSERS.

Lucinda & Dante, go get therapy pt. 2, Dante you have to stop latching onto all of these caring figures that are a little older than you and provide some sort of semblance to a sibling, Dante stop it. She picks up on his subtle fear of witchcraft really quickly and decides to teach him more about what she does. He’s able to divulge parts of his past to her that he could never tell anyone about and she’s able to offer some comfort. I do appreciate that it’s not entirely one-sided - like yeah Dante is seeking comfort and understanding which he hasn’t really been able to take before, but he’s also there as a supportive shoulder for her, too, the way that his friendship with Aaron also starts out as mutual transaction. He notices that Lucinda has been feeling a little bit outcast by the town, even though she thinks thats what she has to be yet longs to be involved in the community, so he makes an effort to include her and spend time with her. He’s not really her apprentice, but he’s definitely willing to help out when he’s around, picking herbs and such. It’s a little funny that Dante is so insecure that he thinks of himself as undesirable and unloveable but a vast majority of town is literally a Dante fanclub willing to die for him and take him under their wing. Like oh baby. Your awkward charm is undeniable.

Stayed up late writing another ask answer yet again yippee. As always inbox is open for more asks if you feel brave enough to receive an answer of this average length and insanity :3 Stick your hand in my cage. I don't bite :).

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

LoverMan

Requested?: No/Yes/Sorta in the server

Notes: requested in the server and bc Gustav and soon enough Tom can't be left out. Also ideas for the moments where all come up by @bunnysenpai31 so than her for this

Description: Even though you're gone, Gustav refused to wake up that you were.

I'm Mister LoverMan

"Gustav!"

A young Gustav sat on your guys' bed, only looking up when he heard you announce your presence from the doorway, running through the house to get to him.

"Babe! There you are!" You smiled once you got to the room, your smile bringing a smile to Gudtavs face as he stood off the bed.

It was almost pointless as you almost knocked him back onto the bed.

You threw yourself into his arms, smiling and happy as you pecked his lips as a welcome home gift for yourself.

"You seem happy just going to the mall." Gustav smiled, laughing softly as he hugged you, just noticing a box you held at your side.

"Of course I did. I like spending your money-" you joked, getting an eyebrow raised from Gustav as you backed away, holding the box up.

"But I got you something." You smiled proudly, holding it out for Gustav as he took it hesitantly, looking at you confusedly.

"From Build-A-Bear?" Gustav asked, eyeing the boxing carefully as you rolled your eyes at his question.

"Yes, from Build-A-Bear. Be grateful and open it."

Gustav rolled his eyes playfully, almost getting a fake gasp of offense from you before you laughed once more.

Gustav then opened the bear packaging, and predictably, he pulled out a bear.

"Wow! A bear! You shouldn't have." Gustav said sarcastically to you, holding the bear in his hand as you rolled your eyes.

"Just push the paw!" You ordered, smacking his arm as he laughed, dodging as he nodded his head.

"Fine, fine, fine." Gustav muttered, struggling to find where to push for a moment before he figured it out.

It took a second after Gustav pushed the button, but to his surprise, it soon began talking.

"Gustav, I love you! I know this is corny but I do, so-" your voice came from inside, getting a confused glance up from Gustav as he listened.

As it went on Gustav shook his head softly, smiling at the bear amused as he heard your giggle from inside it.

"Anyways, love you, Gustav!" Gustav heard you give a mwah sound to the speaker just as it cut off, and Gustav still felt the love and admiration the bear held.

Gustav looked up, an eyebrow raised as he saw you smiling at him, almost laughing at his expression as your eyes held hope he would like it.

"In the bear? Really? You could just tell me." Gustav chuckled, but still held the bear close to him as he teases.

"Oh, come on!" You scoffed, laughing as you hugged him around his waist, looking up at him as you saw the silence he fought to hold on, wrapping a free hand around you.

"He's perfect, no?" You said, kissing his jaw as Gustav sighed to give off an annoyed illusion to tesse even more.

"Whatever you say." Gustav said, kissing the crown of your head as you smiled as he did so.

"Yes, yes, a gift from your perfect lover, my lover man." You giggled, almost nose to nose with Gustav as he held his arms around your waist, mimicking the smile on your face.

"Yeah, yes. He's perfect." Gustav nodded, agreeing with you finally to see the smile on your face bloom.

You then leaned in for another kiss, one Gustav gladly accepted and melted into, holding you with one hand and the bear he would cherish for a lifetime in the other.

And I miss my lover, man…

Gustav still remembered it like nothing happened at all.

"I'm sorry to inform you…but (Name) (Last Name) has died. We're so sorry for your loss, and if you would like-"

Gustav remembered hanging up on them.

Gustav sat on the bed, waiting for the door knob to turn and hear your feet patting against the floor as you came to jump in his arms and ramble on about your day.

Gustav waited, and without even knowing, spraying your perfume once or twice to give the illusion to himself you were close by.

Gustav refused to move even when the band came by, their own tears in their eyes as they grieved their childhood best friend.

Gustav did not.

Gustav waited as they left for months after that. Gustav stayed awake at night, your things never moving from where you left them.

Gustav slipped into a bubble, ignoring everything. He ignored headlines. Interviewers' questions. Articles. Tabloids.

He only paid attention to your name, your voice in his head and the scent you left behind that was slowly fading away.

Gustav refused to let it, going over everything and anything about you he could remember.

It was like he was just existing for the purpose of staying by if you ever came back.

You never did.

You never walked back through that door and hugged him.

But Gustav hoped, and held the teddy bear you gave him before you left, dear to him. A ritual of playing it even when the battery slowly was fading away.

Months could go by, so could years, but Gustav still sat like the young nineteen year old kid he was, waiting for you to come back.

—---------------------------------------------------

"What's this?" Tom asked, curious as he picked out a familiar, medium sized teddy bear from Gustavs open backpack on the ground.

"Gustav? Why do you have a teddy bear?" Tom asked, chuckling a bit as he looked at his band mates amused.

"And a Build-A-Bear one at that." Georg chuckled along, meaning no harm but wanting light to the sorta dim time in their lives.

Gustav looked up at their words, face as if they hadn't almost insulted the one thing keeping him alive right then and there.

Gustav looked at what they're holding, and without skipping a beat he answered like nothing.

"Oh, (Name) got it for me but she's busy right now." Gustav said like honey as it just rolled off his tongue, like nothing at all.

Gustav noticed the looks Tom, Bill and Georg shared, and decided to pay it no mind until Bill opened his mouth.

"Um- Gustav…" Bill started, Gustav looked up with a curious look, holding still his drum sticks as he looked at their lead singer.

"(Names)...you know they're gone..right?" Bill struggled to get his words out, almost shocked at his friend's nonchalance and denial of his childhood friend and lovers absence.

Gustav said nothing. His face blank, eyes looking to Bill, then Tom, then Georg as he saw the concerned and sad looks on their faces.

Gustav hated those faces.

They gave those faces to someone in grief.

Gustav was not in grief.

Gustav was waiting for you to walk in the door. Gustav was waiting for you.

Someone grieving doesn't wait. Someone grieving cries. Someone grieving accepts it.

Gustav did none.

Gustav could only stare at the bear held in his friend's hand, wanting nothing more than to push the paw and hear your voice and melt away.

Because for years after that he would preserve the bear like nothing was wrong, he would push the button while sitting in bed.

He would stare at the door and wait for you to walk in so he could remember the ritual of you coming to you, wrapping your arms around his neck as he held you.

Forever he would deny that you were gone. Because he held your voice in the form of a gift you left him, a small parting gift he took as a see you later one.

Gustav would forever go alongside his life dreaming of your smile and giggle in his sleep, feeling you beside him in bed only to wake and find you gone.

Because Gustav couldn't let you go.

So even if he knew it wasn't healthy, Gustav would go on hearing you, seeing you and waiting for you to come back.

Even if it meant waiting until his final breath.

Because he would forever be that nineteen year old waiting for you to come home.

-------------------------------------------------

@lyzit @cyb3rlex @billysjumbie @billsjumbie95 @bigbootahjudy @ilovebill-and-gustav @r3dheadedw0rld @V4mpyboyy @novaaisstupid @billybabeskaulitz @yas-v @iischafer @dilfverz @ahswhore0 @graciegizmo3184 @80s-tingz @ryiana @yuriayatoz @bunnysenpai31 @banshailey @bellastoner420 @victryzvv9 @stxngnr @killed-kiss @stilesandjames @m00nzyblogs @sylisan

[ghostly-wisp]

MR. LOVERMAN 

Chapter 6

chapter 5 | chapter 7 | series masterlist | page masterlist

︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

warnings — strong language, not proofread

When your voice comes through the line, he stops walking, Pedro is just outside his car. His hand is on the handle, but he can’t bring himself to move, he really didn’t think you would answer. He's glad you did, but it makes the situation real, and if hes honest he was expecting to be sent straight to voicemail. His stomach drops a little, but he takes a deep breath. He can’t make the same mistake he has before, he can’t ruin this one chance he has, if he even still has it. “Y/N?” 

“Is everything okay, Pedro?” you sound worried, which makes him feel slight excitement because at least he can tell you care—you hear the ding of his car door opening from the other line, you're biting lip nervously waiting for his response, it feels like he's taking his sweet ass time – so you repeat, “Pedro.” he’s quick to respond now. “‘m here, sorry,” he looks around the street, the streetlight above his car is illuminating everything, he honest to God feels like Hes in some film with a fucked-up plot that he would’ve turned off by now. “Are you home? I need to see you.” 

You still, Sam would never approve of this. They would tell you to hang up, to tell him that you’re busy, you can’t keep giving into Pedro – he's like some disease you can’t shake, you can’t let him keep affecting you like this – you can’t let him keep you wrapped around his finger, it doesn’t do you anything good. You sigh, “I don’t know if that's a good idea, Pedro, it’s late and–” he doesn’t even let you ramble the rest of whatever excuse you're about to give him.

“Please.” The tone in his voice is familiar, it brings you back to the day in your classroom – the crack in his voice and the desperation, you can only imagine that he's on the brink of tears. “Please, I need to see you.” Maybe it's your own desperation, or maybe you're just that fucking gullible, but you tell him “Okay.” Whatever Sam doesn’t know can’t kill them. You remind him of the address and your apartment number and hung up the phone. You're frozen for a moment, you wonder if you're dreaming, if this some sick delusion. You can't fathom a reason for this to be happening, why today, why now, and why was it so urgent?

When your music starts playing again at full volume, you're brought back to reality. Thougj rigjt now you prefer now to wait in silence, the music would only act as a distraction that you couldn’t have. What could this possibly be about? The thousands of scenarios run in your head—most negative—you’re pacing and picking up a couple things as you do so. Maybe this was a mistake, you should’ve stuck to your guns and told him no, maybe then you wouldn’t have this pit in the stomach. It feels like it takes him ages, but finally you hear that ear piercing buzz alerting you know someone wants you to let them in. You don’t even bother using your intercom, you just let them in. You’re on the third floor, and you’re guessing by the sound of quick footsteps that he didn’t even bother with the elevator. Your palms clam up and your pacing comes to a halt when he knocks on the door, it seems hesitant almost. Which is funny, considering he was just running down the hall, maybe he was second guessing himself or wanted to seem like he wasn’t rushing his way to see you.  

When you make it to the front door, you don’t open it right away, you take a deep breath first, and you’re slow to unlock the door. When you finally open it, he’s got one hand against the door frame, and he's slightly leaning into that for support, you want to throw your arms around him, but you don’t. He takes his arm away and looks at you, panting softly. He takes you all in, like he can’t believe he's actually seeing you, it's like in his dreams. The ones that he remembers anyways.

There's a moment where the two of you are standing there, looking at each other awkwardly. You don’t know if you should speak first or wait for him – you’re the one to break the silence, inviting him into your apartment, and he slowly steps in and looks around – He missed your apartment, the atmosphere is more comfortable than Jennys – there's a faint smell of apples from your candle, the decorations are more welcoming, it feels like a home. He loved it, and he missed the fuzzy feeling it gave him. Pedro turns to face you again, watching you lock the door like you always did. When you turn to face him, you can tell that he was either crying earlier or he's trying not to now. 

“So, what's up?” your voice is soft, oh, how he missed it. He thinks about how he wants to start his sentence; he used a lot of similar phrases the last time you two chatted, and safe to say, he didn’t want to repeat that conversation. He wets his lips with his tongue and his eyes dart around, his hands are suddenly clammy and he's sweating. “I was with Jenny and–” he watches you roll your eyes, and you start to move past him. “No! Not like—just listen to me, please.” bad start already, way to go, Pedro. He thinks to himself.

You shake your head—how could you let yourself think he would be here for anything good for you? Still, he follows you into your living room and you turn on your heel. You want to listen to him, you really do, but you don’t want to hear whatever story he has that includes Jenny, you’ve always made your feelings about her very clear to him, and he chose to hang out with her. Which you know is his choice, but you still didn’t want to hear anything about the art teacher, not after everything that's happened. Pedro stops walking when you turn, and it's a stand still. “She told me that she uh, she heard you and Sam...” you only raise your eyebrows, because you and Sam talk about Pedro a lot as of late. “She told me that – you we’re talking about getting over me.” with this, your heart stops for a moment, and you feel a pit in your stomach again. For no reason, though, because he should know how you felt about him. You basically told him, or were you not clear enough for his thick man brain?

“You know how I felt about you,” felt was a word you chose carefully, making it sound past tense, he catches onto it – but for the moment, he's choosing to ignore it. He needs to believe that he still has a shot if he's going to stand here and say what he's been dying to say for a while now. “You hurt me, Pedro, you ignored me for weeks because you were scared. And then you went into the arms of fucking Jenny. Of all people, her.”

It wasn't the fact that he ignored you anymore. It was him leaving, him going to the one person on the entire building that you felt so strongly about, she had been ontop of him since he started, there was no way he was that stupid think that wouldn't hurt—even if he was, the damage was done now, even if he apologized.

He frowns, he knew what he was doing was stupid at the moment—but hearing it said to him made it so much worse, like it actually smacked him across the face. “I know,” he says quietly, ashamed. Though can't take his eyes off you, he can't look away no matter how embarrassed he felt. “and I’m not going to stand here and make excuses, and pretend like I did no wrong, I fucked up. I know. I ran, because that's what I do. I didn’t think about how it would make you feel, and I don’t expect you to forgive me.” You only scoff in response, folding your arms infront of you tightly, but there's this sense of sorrow in his eyes that you can’t bring yourself to pretend to be angry with – his eyes can pull at your heartstrings in ways nobody else has ever had the power to. “N’ maybe I’m delusional, Y/N, but no matter how hard I try forgetting, no matter how hard I try to ignore it, you’re always there. Everything I look at, I see you. I think of you. It’s always you.” Your arms slowly drop, your guard goes down a lot faster than what you wouldve wanted. There's sincerity in his words that's dragging you in, you don’t even take a step back when he moves closer to you ever so slowly. “I’m a wreck without you,I don’t know how you do it...” When Pedro smiles, you feel this flutter in your heart— a sensation that you hadn’t felt in a while, and you think you missed it a lot more than what you thought. “Feel like I haven’t known you all that long and you’ve taken over all my senses.”

You want to scream at him, you want to tell him that he's lost his chance and this ship has sailed. That letting him come over was a mistake, lash out all your feelings to him — but you can’t, you won’t. Because you’d be lying. Your face is red, and no sounds come out of your mouth no matter how badly you want to say something. You can’t, because his smile alone is rendering you speechless. He doesn’t say much either, he reaches out and his fingertips slowly graze down your arms, his hands slip into yours, and there you stood – holding his hands in your apartment. You think, how much eaiser it would be if you were mad at him still. You'd rip your hands away in an instant, tell him to go fuck himself, but you can't bring yourself to be mad at him, and you're lying if you say you didn't love the sensation of his hands holding yours. People of held your hand before, and hand holding js pretty low on the romance scale, but it felt like the most pivotal thing in the world to you right now.

You never touched him like this before, it felt intimate, romantic, in a way that you hadn’t expected, sure you’ve hugged him and let the hug last for a second too long, you’ve kissed him on the cheek before – but this felt real, there we're no ifs, no possibilities for it to be misconstrued in another context. You could feel the tingling sensations your hands and your heart, and you don’t know what the next move is. He doesn’t either, because he only steps closer and looks at you, he thinks about leaning in – but he doesn’t, he had many different thoughts about how this moment would go – confessing feelings like this – it would be after your second date, maybe you’d be at his place and he makes a nice meal, or out at a restaurant or some other date, something that would stick out more than in your apartment after a fight. Though now that he's here looking at you, watching the way the blush on your face grew, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh, how he missed you, he missed your face, he missed his lover. 

You may have never been his “lover” officially, but might as well, because he never wanted to spend another moment like this with anyone else. He can’t bring himself to pull away, to say anything that ruin this moment. You notice how sweaty his hands are, which would normally unsettle you, but in the moment, you can’t bring yourself to care about it. Pedro’s stomach tingles, because he accepts, finally, that he can’t prolong this any longer. That running away will only make his situation worse, his feet feel cemented to the ground, but he's okay with it. For once, he doesn't plan on running.

He pulls one hand away from yours, which leaves this cold, lonely sensation, but it's rested on your hip, and it's when he does this that you know what's going to happen, too. Your heart feels like it's going a mile a minute, he's the one to lean in first, but you meet him halfway. 

Your lips brush over each other at first, as if you’re both unsure if this is what you want to do in the moment, but it doesn’t take long for your lips to connect again, he's grinning into the kiss, but you could care less. This was the best feeling you’ve had in a while, the warmth that came over your body, the kiss is tender and delicate. Slightly addictive, if you're both being brutally honest.

His other hand lets go of yours, and he moves it up to place it on your cheek, as if to pull you in closer. Your hands are just under his arms. It lasts only a couple seconds, but you wish it could’ve been a lot longer, his he doesn’t take his hands away, in fact, the one that's placed on your hip slides to your back as if to pull you closer. The sentiment is mutual, because you don’t want to take your hands away from his either, you just slide them down to the sides of his stomach. You could feel the feelings of his lips on yours still, and it tingles. When he looks at you, he's trying to get a sense of how you feel, and you finally smile. He can’t help but thinks about how he missed that smile. “Will you please forgive me?” he asks of you quietly, “I want this to happen more. I want to hold your hand; I want to eat lunch with you and Sam again, if you'd let me.”

You laugh quietly, for once, you start taking each one of Pedro’s features to note, you’ve obviously never been this close to him before. His pores, the details in his nose, honestly you probably wouldn’t have noticed that he said anything if he didn’t raise his eyebrows in anticipation. You even have to think about it for a moment, “I can try to forgive you,” you say quietly, no louder than a whisper. “Sam might never be able to, though.” 

“I think I can live with that.” 

It's not until the following Monday that you get around to telling Sam about your reunion with Pedro. It's not that you felt like you had to wait, it was just that things were so good with Pedro that you wanted to stay in the blissful phase before you told anyone, but you figured you would have to because Pedro would come by for lunch anyway. So, you stop by their room in the morning before any students got there, “Hey, Sam, I gotta tell you something.” 

“Perfect, I was just going to text you to come here— I saw the funniest thing when I was walking in today. What's up?” you shake your head, more intrigued by their story. “You first,”

They turn in their chair, standing up and closing the door. As long as no student looks in, they might have an idea that Sam wasn’t there yet, and also, they didn’t want any other teachers overhearing them. “I saw Jen and Pedro walking in together, right?” They say, going to sit on the edge of their desk across from you, now you’re nervous as to where this is going. What Sam might thing is going on, because whatever they say is going to make your news sound untimely. “She kept trying to grab his hand–and it's so funny, because he would move his hand away, and move physically further from her but she just kept trying. I don’t know what got into him, but all the sudden, but it’s eating Jen alive. I even saw her go up to his room.” 

“You did? When?” you hadn’t even stopped by your own yet, so if she was still there, you wouldn’t know. “Just a little while ago, shes probably still there – I wonder what shes saying, I just want you Pedro why won’t you hold my haaaand!” They laugh at their own mockery, but once Sam stops laughing, they ask you, “Anyway, what was it you wanted to say?” 

Though you can’t answer, you have to know what Jen is saying; you have to know if Shes still there or if Pedro delt with it. You knew that Sam could hear this later, and you can explain it. But you slip off of the desk you were sitting on and grabbed your bag. “I gotta go.” you say matter-of-factly, opening Sam's door; seeing of their students waiting patiently, and they seemed shocked to see you walk out of the room in a hurry. “I can explain it later, teacher Sam.” you say, mindful to call them by their professional term. You never felt this urgency, Jesus Christ, can’t this woman just leave you alone? Why does she have to be so fucking obsessed? You wonder what she might actually be saying–how Pedro must feel. Or if you’re too late, maybe she's already crying, cursing your name, you can't help but feel sympathy for her. You could've easily been in her position. It just so happened that your classroom was closer.

You turn the corner, and over the lockers you can see that his door is open. You can't hear much, which you assume is a good-ish sign, at least she's not yelling. You slow your steps, you wanted a feel of the situation first, so you grab your room keys to start unlocking the door to your classroom—trying to listen closely.

Pedro isn't exactly sure how he got into this situation, two women having feelings for him was flattering, but good God, was it awkward. Especially since he liked one, and the other sat in his room just about sobbing. “I just don't understand.” Jenny tells him, after he's explained why they can't see eachother anymore. He didn't want to say that you had anything to do with it, but that was pretty self explanatory, even if he tried saying it was "for other reasons".

“Jen, It's not you, okay? I just—I just don't have the same feelings towards you, you're an amazing friend, but I just don't see us working.” For some reason, even though this was the gentlest way he could've thought to put it, it ignited something in Jenny—she quickly stood, wiping her tears away. He hoped she would just storm off, alas it couldn't be that easy. “This, this bullshit right here, is why your wife fuckin' left you.” and no matter how much time passes, no matter how much the wounds of his divorce heal. It hurts, it hurts more when it's thrown in his face in a way. “I hope your god damn happy,” she yells across the hall to you once she notices you trying to unlock your door, you don't think she's talking to you at first, especially since you're in the hallway when anyone could see. It's not until you hear Pedro trying to diffuse the situation, and her hand grabs tour shoulder tightly. “Is this what you wanted? for me to cry? You have to have everything?”

You're trying with every fiber of your being to remain professional, not to give into the scene at hand. You don't want to get in trouble, nor do you want your students asking you about this later. You finally get your key to work and push open the door to your classroom. "Jen, I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't plan for this to happen, but I'm sorry it did." You say softly, "It's really not fair of you to throw his divorce in his face.” You step in to your classroom, turning around quickly so that she couldn't follow you in. “You've always hated me, and frankly, I never understood why.” Her words are a lot louder than necessary, and you're trying to make sure there are no students nearby, but it was probably too late for that anyways. “I'm tired of being nice to you, only to be handed back disrespect. This is over a line.”

“I didn't tell him to leave you for me, I wasnt evem speaking with Pedro. He did that on his own accord. You're making a scene, Jen, I'm begging yoh to please go back to your room. You've done enough.” Jen looks around the nearly-empty hallway for support, but she's met with a few confused stares, and Pedro, who still looks rather upset by her earlier comment. She doesn't say anything, instead, she storms off back the stairwell, hopefully, to her classroom.

Your attention turns to Pedro, and while he's happy that you stood up for him, he's very clearly upset. You go to reach for him—to welcome him into your classroom even for just a moment, but he wordlessly turns into his own room; closing the door behind him. Leaving you worried for him, maybe you had done something wrong. You quietly sigh, all you can do for the moment is hope he's okay.

TAGLIST: (also please read my comment in the comment section I think it's important)

@djarinsstuff @doodlebob-mp3

@wanniiieeee @zeyzeys-stuff @jay1bird23 @corpsebridenightamare @queerponcho

@peqchsoup @surazim @melanie451 @krisviciousx @elliescumsl0t @theanxietyqueen17 @vasiliki-koshka

@figusquibis @lothirielcorleon @maybedisaster @kpicard @becca193 @themusingkitten @caravelofthesun @coldheartedmar @zanzann @avengersfan25

[pulim-v]

put 5 songs you listen to, post it, then send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers <3

HAHAHAHAHAH we meet again 😈😈😈🙏🙏🙏

YAY an excuse to ramble abt even more songs >:D

Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan

Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

God-ish by Pinnochio-P

Rabbit Hole by Deco27

Loser by Neoni

[souls-archives]

what are some of your favorite things? (ramble as much as you please)

I love Ricky Montgomery. Like, his songs are so good? Like omg. I LOVE MONTGOMERY RICKY. One of my favorite albums of his. It holds a lot of iconic and famous songs like "Line without a hook" and "Mr. Loverman"! One of my most favorites is Cabo and Last night. They're so good, I recommend it, anon! Speaking of Ricky, I often associate him with Fitz Vacker from KOTLC. I hc that he listens to the artist! In fact, in chapter of snow (KOTLC in Fitz's POV), he listens to Ricky Montgomery! 2 times actually! Fitz Vacker is the best KOTLC character btw, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. He's the literal best, I mean, he's british and nice and handsome and kind and patient sometimes but he's the best. The literal best. He gets so hated and trashed on in the KOTLC fandom and it's so sad. He's gotta be the most hated main character. Speaking of main characters, Callum hunt is also a good main character. He's the protag of the Magisterium series. Black hair, awkward pre teen, disabled, possibly mentally ill father, he's the best!!!!!!!! He believes in magic but he's gotta fail the magic exams!!! He succeeds the magic exams and gets sent to the magic school and he meets his freinds!!!!!!! speaking of friends, I LOVE MY FRIENDS

[bonesandthebees]

Also, I am now continuing in Priory. I found it too heavy to drag to my job interview. So I took Mr. Loverman, which is was reading in before, but I was too excited about Priory so I jumped to that one. But then reading it again I got into it again and so I ended up finishing that 1 first. I’m now at 3 of my 5 book goal for this year. And I’m about halfway in Priory. After that I have a few more shorter books I want to read.

I had to reorganise my bookshelves because I have bought too many books in the past year and outgrown my 2 shelves. And the. I decided I might as well do all the books in the house and put them in an excel because I want to know how many we have total (I’m close to 200 and I have just about done the downstairs, but this is like books belonging to every family member in any genre so all the cookbooks and all my sheet music from when I was learning guitar and my course books from uni). It’s a big project. I think the attic and study will kill me. But I’m not touching those until the temperature drops. It’s been so hot lately.

Anyway, enjoy my little ramble! Hope your grandma will be fine!

-🌲

Woohoo yay for reading goals of the year!!! You’re more than halfway there!! My goal this year is 20 books (although now I’m kind of aiming for 25) and I’ve read 13 so far so we’re making good progress

God organizing books can be such a task. We used to have so many books but then we moved a few times and I donated most of mine so now I’m rebuilding my collection. I have about one bookshelf and then a bunch scattered around my room so the collection is growing. Using an excel sheet seems like a really smart way to do it though!! Hope the organization goes well!!

And I’m glad you’re enjoying priory so far it’s huge but so so worth it

And ty it’s looking like my grandma is gonna be fine, we’re just waiting for them to be able to run another blood test before she can go home

[zylotl]

It's been a while since I've posted, so here's some OC lore-related art.

some rambling down below with extras vvv

without shading, without effects+shading, and sketch in that order

i have no idea how to start this uh

this is an oc of mine, Delana. I've got her lore mostly sorted out with the exception of a few discrepancies I'll get to in the future. this is most likely going to be her final design, maybe with some tweaks here and there, but it's finished for the most part.

I've posted about her character before, although she's gone through more revamps than I can count.

moving on, the whole drawing is depicting the seperation (ahem, divorce, ahem), of her and her wife, Haru. I actually went and searched for what flowers would fit, and red windflowers/anemone flowers supposedly mean forsaken love, so I thought it would be a good fit. correct me if I'm wrong. hopefully I'll write about her character in the future, but not right now.

anyways, I'll see you another time, random user on the internet. bye-bye