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herestothe-fools-whodream-blog · 7 years ago

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Finding love in 2017...

It has taken me three weeks to post this.. so many thoughts, grammar couldn’t keep up.

Does anyone else find it hard to find a meaningful relationship?

I am 20 years old, every person I’ve met in a romantic sense, has knocked my confidence and hope of finding someone right for me, lower and lower!

And with each person, a new topic of doubt is placed in my mind.

1. Are my expectations too high? (From being a massive Disney fanatic) Am I so wrong for wanting a man who wants to make all my hopes and dreams come true, who stops at nothing to make me smile? And yes I know that we are not supposed to rely on other people to fulfil our happiness, but is it so horrible to want someone who wants to make you happy?

2. Has the internet (social media etc.) made it harder to find meaningful relationships? With the vast array of ‘dating sites’ (hook up sites) is there too much temptation, too much choice for people to stick with one person? Has the internet made people small minded, one thing I always notice is couples sitting together, walking together, 'spending time’ together, who are always on their phones. Conversations based on what the trending posts were on Facebook that day, instead of learning things about one another, finding out what makes each other happy. The internet may keep us entertained in the present, but it cannot fulfil a lifetime of happiness that a significant other can.

3. Is there something wrong with me? Maybe I’m just not one of those girls, who gets the guy who goes the extra mile. Maybe that’s something I have to learn to be okay with, which is a sad and pessimistic view (which is most certainly not my thing) but maybe it’s the only way to stop feeling disappointed and let down.

4. Do people take 'labels’ too seriously? I know, personally, that some people seem to think that the addition of a label to a relationship, adds too much pressure. This is not true, for example, I have been seeing someone for just about a year now, and there is still no definite 'label’ on our relationship. Our friends think we are a joke because we haven’t defined the relationship. He makes me laugh, he does little things that make me smile the majority of the time.. but some rare times, he gets annoyed at me if I’m upset with him, he dismisses those upset feelings. His reasons for not defining the relationship is that he thinks a label brings pressure. In my mind, if we were to add a label, nothing would need to change. We make each other happy, we get each other and we really care for each other. I haven’t pushed for the label because he’s had exams and is trying to get his career started, but maybe I shouldn’t hold back.. maybe that’s my whole problem. I put everyone else’s needs before my own.. And this is what I think everybody’s problem is…

Growing up, I was always taught that I should treat others the way I would like to be treated. This is how I have lived my life, never saying anything unless it was something nice.

In the past few years, I’ve seen a lot of media content about how we should be putting ourselves first and worrying about our own happiness, no one else’s.

This has led to a selfish society, filled with competitiveness, negativity and pure hatred. We have become materialist monsters.

Girls tearing each other down on their looks, guys knocking each other over on the emotions, people being judgemental and harsh over other people’s sexual orientation etc.

We have become so obsessed with ourselves and laughing/mocking people online, we forget that everyone has their own hopes, their own dreams, their own happiness..

And who are we to comment on, judge, or destroy the choices that make other people happy.

This post has taken a slight turn.. but the main point here is…

To treat others how you would like to be treated.. this is how you find meaningful relationships in a society filled with hate.

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