#love when someone calling you a shithead sounds an awful lot like i love you

[sparklygraves]

Through a hiccup of shaky tears, Hennessy managed to say, “I’m having his baby. Can I have an orange juice?”

Wendy [the waitress] shot Ronan a look that was less maternal before vanishing.

Ronan shook his head, with equal parts admiration and disbelief. “You’re a real shithead. Look at you. You can’t help it. You’re out of your mind. You’ll be a shithead on your deathbed.”

Hennessy laughed shakily and stuffed French toast in her mouth. She wasn’t bleeding. She didn’t have another tattoo choking her throat. Ronan was right. She was awake. She was awake. She was awake.

���Maggie Stiefvater, Call Down the Hawk, page 357

[hawkeyedflame]

You know, I've always adored the friends to lovers trope, but friends to rivals to lovers is a whole 'nother beast and I love it! Please tell me more, I've never heard of these character before!

*deep inhale*

Ch'en and Swire are from the mobile game Arknights. If you don't know anything about it uhhhh it's sorta a mid-apocalypse world that is riddled with natural catastrophes (which have forced humans to congregate in giant mobile cities) and political turmoil near-constantly. Humans are prone to a disease called Oripathy which is both deadly and contagious in late stages, and which has caused a massive rift in society where Infected individuals are disenfranchised and oppressed, often violently. This has led to wave after wave of civil unrest and eventual terrorism in several countries. The "player character" is a mysterious amnesiac doctor at a pharmaceutical company called Rhodes Island which works on finding a cure for Oripathy while also tacitly commanding a guerilla force of highly trained combatants to work with local governments/other companies (those are the characters we get to play with). It's much more complicated than that but I'm cutting this down as small as I can. If that sounds like a big plot for a mobile game, you would be right. It's huge and there are many moving parts; the first story arc spanned 8 chapters. [Also every human in Arknights has one or more animal trait and there is indication that this will become plot relevant at some point, for some reason. It's unclear as of yet whether their world is our world in the far future, or a different planet in our universe, or an entirely different universe altogether. I digress.]

Ch'en and Swire are two police officers working for the city of Lungmen (Lung are a variety of Chinese dragon, of which Ch'en is one), where much of the political turmoil of the first story arc takes place. Ch'en is the head of the special inspection unit [read: badass] and the niece of the chief executive of Lungmen, by whom she was more or less raised following the death of her mother and...some other traumatic stuff. Swire is the superintendent of the police department and heiress to an extremely wealthy corporate conglomerate. [Read: they are both very high ranking officers, but Ch'en's position is above Swire's.] Presumably (?) due to her family's business ventures within the city of Lungmen, Swire often met Ch'en when they were children, and they became friends. They bonded over both having terrible father figures and spent a lot of time together. After some pretty awful stuff happened (from which both of them suffered, but Ch'en bears the brunt significantly), Swire had to watch Ch'en grow up into someone she didn't want her to be.

an emo

Ch'en is a harsh, uncompromising woman. Her strict attitude is usually the first thing people notice about her, and as Swire's superior she has come down hard on her repeatedly, leading Swire to both publicly resent her and want to steal her job (lol). For her part, Swire is incredibly acidic towards Ch'en, taking pleasure in starting arguments or taunting her about her mistakes. One time she even dumped a cup of water on her to wake her up after she'd been knocked unconscious in a battle (and we got this incredible image as a result).

They argued pretty bitterly after that, because Ch'en sorta fucked up big time but Swire is being an absolute shithead about it, leading to the following dialogue:

As Swire storms off, Ch'en notices something:

[side note: Hoshiguma is another officer who is essentially Ch'en's work partner and closest colleague, and she is quite fond of both Ch'en and Swire. Other side note: if Swire's back was injured in an explosion but Ch'en was unharmed by said explosion, that means that Swire was probably carrying her bridal style, not in a fireman's lift. ~Interesting~]

So as you can see, they are pretty nasty to each other, though Ch'en later tells Swire she was exaggerating here (and Swire replies that she herself was not).

H O W E V E R. They don't hate each other. The dialogues between them are really scattered through the main story and side events, but they canonically go out for dinner together reasonably often, and have evidently spent enough time together as adults that Ch'en knows random details about Swire's habits.

(One of Swire's operator files in-game reads:

When did she break the habit of stuffing everything in her bag? And when should I forgive her for walking off with my bag, leaving me with nothing but a couple tubes of lipstick and a bottle of foundation to execute an arrest with? — An officer who does not want to be named but is named "Ch'en.")

So yeah, Ch'en knows Swire pretty well. Weird for someone she's so nasty to, huh? Well, Swire knows Ch'en too, having known her for almost her entire life, and she knows how Ch'en will act/react to different situations (including being provoked). She knows the skeletons in her closet, the ghost she is constantly chasing, her lofty idealist dreams for using her power and influence to reform the way Lungmen treats its Infected. And she keeps her secrets, too. She knows all of these things about Ch'en that nobody else does, and despite her caustic attitude towards Ch'en, she actually cares about her a lot. So much so that she saves her life at risk to her own. So much so that she breaks down in tears about her at one point.

And Ch'en cares about Swire too. A lot. Something I've neglected to mention until now is that there is a form of magic in Arknights called Arts. Humans manipulate it using a material called Originium as an energy source (and, Originium is what causes Oripathy). Ch'en has a pretty abysmal aptitude for manipulating Originium to produce Arts. According to her operator files in-game, she lacks the ability to use a conduit effectively, and she is unlikely to ever attain any sort of mastery over Arts. Rather, she tends to accidentally damage things whenever she uses her power. It is suggested here that use of Arts is a deeply mental/psychological process, one which she is not able to control enough to use safely. [I find this ~interesting~]

But Ch'en has this sword, Chi Xiao, that her uncle gave to her. It is a blade tempered with Originium, and as a result must be manipulated in a similar way to an Originium Arts conduit. That is, the sword is commanded by sheer willpower, not muscle. It is incredibly rare that Chi Xiao allows itself to be unsheathed by her hand; in fact part of her character arc in the story is her learning that she has to be as one in mind, body, and will in order to draw Chi Xiao, and in some sense she pursues this ideal almost relentlessly. One of the rare few moments that Ch'en was able to draw her sword was during a rescue mission-- she cut clean through the door of a vault to rescue some hostages that were locked inside, as if it were nothing. Swire was among the hostages. The fact that she was able to draw her sword in this moment, when Swire's safety is on the line, is quite telling.

Also as the story progresses through time, Ch'en actually does work out some of her problems and softens up as a result, leading her to actually diffuse arguments with Swire instead of trying to escalate them. Juicy.

I'm rambling.

Anyways,,, to me it's pretty obvious that the two of them care about each other very deeply despite their rivalry; whether that's as friends or something else is not made clear, and that's fine with me. The story isn't about that (although, in the world of Arknights, I do believe there is tremendous value in exploring both the protective and destructive nature of love, from a narrative point of view).

So yeah. Childhood friends to rivals to lovers. Very interesting dynamic that I had never encountered before but I will happily add to my shelf of favorites. Hope your eyes aren't too far in the back of your head, anon. Thanks for letting me write an Essay ;)

[joontier]

Subliminal in Scrubs | V2; report xiii

pairings: dr. jeon jungkook x female reader

chapter rating: NC-17 | genre: humor, workplace relationships

warnings: swearing 

word count: 1.8k

g/n: decided on a bit of a filler for this one as a sort of prelude to future scenes 👀👀 ((likewise manifesting my plan to post another chapter this week))

[taglist]:  @nottodayjjk @ditttiii @zeharilisharaban @btsbunny07 @turquoiseandplaidinautumn @aamxxrii @codeinebelle @btsmakesmehappy @stargukkie @moonchild1​

Subliminal in Scrubs (the records) |  navi. | m.list

Jungkook locks his apartment door behind him, jiggling the doorknob afterwards for ‘double security’ as one would usually call it. He grabs his backpack from the floor and places one of the straps on his shoulders and heads on his way. As he passes by two of his neighbors who live in the same floor, he nods at them, adding a brief hum in greeting. 

“Hey man!” One of the men, Jikwang (as what Jungkook believes this man’s name was), calls out just before Jungkook reaches the elevator. “There was this hot girl asking about you last night.” 

Jungkook raises a brow. He hadn’t really met anyone recently, besides that one cute law student who was looking for a new tenant - and eventually turned out to be your neighbor this whole time. She was cute and all, but she didn’t seem like the type that was ‘hot’ to these types of people. 

Jungkook racks his brain for anything, trying to remember the very few number of his one night stands.Surely,none of them would have gotten pregnant with protection on….surely? On top of that, he hadn’t really disclosed his address to a lot of people too, so there was no way someone would be looking for him, all the more a “hot” woman,as these two would claim. 

“Did she say what her name was?” 

The one beside Jikwang shakes his head, adjusting his beanie. He’d seen this dude a couple of times hanging around, but he never actually got his name.  “Nah bro, I don’t think you’re the commitment type of dude…” he comments, dark eyes looking at Jungkook from his head down to his toe. Who was this guy anyways and who was he to judge whether Jungkook was the type to enter a committed relationship or not? 

“She just...looked rich, rich. She had a driver... who helped her come down from a nice Benz.” 

Jungkook feels his heart drop to the ground. No way in hell. 

“I think her name was Hee something...Junghwa? I dunno man, I’m not good with names. But it sounds similar to that…” 

“Was it Junghee?” 

“Yeah I think that’s it…” bonnet-dude replies, tapping a finger against his chin as he approaches Jungkook. “You think maybe you can set me up? With you know…” 

Jikwang knocks the back of bonnet-man’s head. “I got dibs first, shithead. “If she’s not already yours though,” he adds, delivering a wink aimed at Jungkook. “Her friends will do.” 

Jungkook squints his eyes at the duo. “No. She’s my sister. And she doesn’t have any friends.” A chill courses through his spine as he replies, wondering how she managed to find out where he lived, and why would she even reach out? Why now, when she had so many years to do so? 

Beanie guy simply laughs at him - if it was even considered laughing, when he was practically splitting his sides with laughter - like the thought of having a sister was hilarious to him. “You’re real funny, man. There is no...way...in hell… that that lady was your sister.” 

Ah yes, this man is a health vice personified. Jungkook notes the discoloration of his teeth, the god-awful odor coming from his mouth, and they both reek of alcohol and drugs combined. From a safe distance, Jungkook watches their amusement over the subject that is his sister, thinking about why he even indulged these two in the first place. For all he knows, they might have been shitting on him the whole time. 

“Sorry man. I mean...she’s rich and hot… and you?” Jikwang shrugs his shoulders. 

‘And he?’ What about him? 

What the hell was that supposed to mean? 

Jungkook clicks his tongue silently, clearly taking full offense with Jikwang’s statement. Did they just imply he didn’t look rich and hot too? Well, compared to them though, they’ll obviously have way longer to go. 

Jungkook blinks before equally returning their level of disbelief. “For real, bro?” These men diss him, won’t believe he has a sister whose aura dwarfs his by a million percent, and now they want him to set up a date with her? He shakes his head. Only crooks like these would say insane shit like this. 

If only this wasn’t the cheapest and most convenient apartment he could find to accommodate his daily hustle, Jungkook would have moved out of this crap excuse of an apartment building a long time ago. 

“Keep dreaming man.” 

“Hey, this is what I get for selling you my bike for a good price?” Jikwang eyes Jungkook, taunting him. 

“I owe you nothing. I paid for it ages ago.” Jungkook turns on his heel, leaving the two in the crusty ass corridor of their apartment building. He needs to get a new place. Quickly. 

With a sigh, he pulls on his down jacket, keeping himself warm as he walks to the garage. 

‘King Auto’ 

There’s a certain warmth that envelops Jungkook whenever he sees the garage, a place he’d rather call home than his terrible apartment building. It sits right at the corner of two busy streets, just six blocks away from his apartment. 

Funnily enough, it wasn’t him who first found out about the garage but the other way around. Well, technically, the owner did. Lee Dongmin, owner and manager of ‘King Auto’ repairs and restores almost all types of cars and bikes alike, occasionally servicing high-end cars on lucky days. 

Dongmin would usually see Jungkook pass by the garage in the morning on his way to the university or his part-time job.Well, being located at a busy street in the city of Seoul, there would normally be a lot of passersby but Dongmin knew these people either worked or lived around the area; Jungkook, however, always lingered when he walks past the garage. 

It had come to Dongmin’s knowledge a few months later that Jungkook purposefully used a longer route on his way, walking two extra blocks just so that he could pass by the garage. Dongmin hadn’t initially done anything about it, as he thought Jungkook simply took interest in cars - especially when the shop had its fair share of servicing cars from the western market. 

There was this particular day though one summer, that their paths would finally cross. Jungkook’s bike, the same bike he bought from sketchy Jikwang, broke down. Coincidentally just in front of King Auto too. Funnily enough, no one in the garage was familiar with fixing up bikes, but Jungkook simply asked if he could borrow a few tools and he’d fix his bike himself. 

Ultimately, Jungkook became part of the King Auto family. He’d spend his spare time in the garage when he’s not busy with his part-time jobs and on occasion, Jungkook gets to keep a tiny commission whenever he helps out with the repairs. 

Jungkook goes through the front door greeting the new receptionist, Clark, a good morning before heading straight to the garage. Jungkook spots a familiar shade of blue peeking through the scissor lifts, just by the end row. He practically dashes to the car in excitement, too thrilled to greet his favorite car he had worked on previously. 

“My baby!” The boy exclaims as he rests his chin on the Porsche Panamera’s roof. “Kook! Get your hands off that! I just had it cleaned!” gruffs Mansik from the other side of the car, flinging his towel at Jungkook who mumbles a sorry but continues to cradle the car, a little more gently this time. 

“If you continue doing that, you know a towel isn’t the only thing Mansik is going to throw at you.” Lee Dongmin’s voice is low, careful that the man he’s referring to won’t hear his words. “I’m glad he hasn’t resorted to tools yet...just a couple of smelly socks and a t-shirt that smells like it hasn’t been washed for months... “ 

“Fuckers.” True to Jungkook’s foreboding, Mansik does throw a sock ball from out of nowhere, one which barely misses Jungkook’s face. Dongmin simply shakes his head at his workers, who he has considered family at this point, Jungkook included. “I’m just glad none of that fell into my first coffee of the day.” Dongmin observes, drawing himself father from the Porsche and any flying objects later on. 

“By the way, the owner is actually here to pick up the car. I may or may not have mentioned your infatuation with it.” 

Jungkook almost instantly jumps to his feet, searching for the owner inside the garage, but disappointingly ending up with all the familiar faces at the garage. “Chill, kid. He just grabbed some coffee down the street,” Dongmin mentions as he takes a sip of his own. “Ah, speaking of the devil,” the latter states, nodding his head towards someone behind Jungkook. 

“Seokjin-sunbaenim?” 

“Oh hey! Wasn’t expecting to see you here...Jungkook, right?” 

“Yes sir!” Jungkook’s pupils shake, animatedly looking back and forth between the garage owner and his upper-level resident. “So...you’re the one who owns this Porsche?” Seokjin raises his cup, adding a small nod in Jungkook’s direction. He internalizes his excitement, before confessing his love for Seokjin’s Panamera. 

“And so, Dongmin here mentioned. Also said you were the one who fixed her up. Thanks man!” 

Dongmin looks at the two of them, eyebrows creased in the middle. “You two know each other?” 

“Seokjin-sunbaenim is a senior of mine at Woocheon.” Seemingly shellshocked at the new piece of information, Dongmin turns to Seokjin, “You’re a doctor?” The owner of the Porsche rolls his eyes fondly, “Yes, Dongmin. We can have lives outside the hospital too, you know.” 

“Anyways, ‘Mera’s ready to go yeah?” 

“Of course. Kook fixed it up just fine.” 

“Alright. Got a shift today man? Need a ride to the hospital?” 

Jungkook is tempted to give in, but merely fixing Seokjin’s car is enough honor for him and he can’t take advantage of his generosity. “No thank you, sunbae. I’ve already got a ride to work today.” Jungkook points to his bike on the other side of the garage. 

Seokjin tuts his disbelief. “You’re kidding me right? In this weather?” The older doctor points outside, then rubs his palm against his down coat. “No way in hell, kid. Get in the car.” 

“Really?” Jungkook mumbles, dimple on display as his lips form a thin line. Seokjin makes a hum of approval as he takes off his jacket while Jungkook dashes back to where he’d left his backpack. “He’s a good kid, Jungkook. Can be a bit of a delinquent sometimes, but he’s good. Take care of him, yeah?” 

“Huh,” Seokjin smirks, “this handsome face got nothing he can’t handle.” Dongmin rolls his eyes this time, “Seriously doubt we’re the same age honestly.” 

Jungkook returns to where the Porsche is parked, and Seokjin gets a spur-of-the-moment idea. The surgical resident throws his keys to Jungkook before settling inside the passenger seat. Jungkook, surprised as ever, simply stands there in surprise. “Well?” Seokjin asks, ducking towards the dashboard so he could take a look at Jungkook, “We’re gonna be late!” 

© joontier 2021

[alicemitch09writes]

lame

10.

you’re both so lame

Bakugou Katsuki was roughly 16 when he realized the stakes to be the best, the top, the number one hero. It was more than having a strong quirk, physical strength, keen observational skills, smarts, or being brave – it was all these things he realized that he lacked something more. He realized that you had to have heart, compassion, something he sorely lacked.

After all, what good is a hero working for himself and not for others?

Failing his Provisional License Exam made him realize that, putting up with shitty Half-and-Half.

He could be the hero he wanted to be, but that'd put him in leagues of Endeavor, and there was no way he wanted to wind up as shitty as that old fart.

He was lacking, but he just didn't know where. No, he knew where he lacked but just didn't know how to consider them.

He wanted to be more, bigger - become a better version of himself.

Considering his shitty self, however, that seemed like a laughable and farfetched idea.

“Are you stupid or something?”

He looked up at the figure who stopped in front of him under the pouring rain, meeting your gaze - surprised, annoyed, angry, and worried, all at once. Too lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t realized that it had rained and that he was soaking.

Grabbing his hand, you forced him to his feet. “Come on, get under here.” Once under the umbrella, you practically shove it in his hand, letting him hold because he was taller. Slipping your bag in front of you, you rummaged through your things for a handkerchief. Once finding it, you wiped his wet face, grumbling under your breath. “Seriously, if you want to be number one, we can’t have you getting sick on me.”

At the sound of your voice, your mothering, he slowly came to. “Sorry,” was the most intelligent thing he could think of saying to you. Going back on your words, he found his voice again. "you remembered."

Rolling your eyes, you poked between his brows. "How could I not? It was all you could talk about." Shaking your head, now that his face was dry, you began to walk, he followed. “So, where’re ya headed?”

“Home.”

“Really? School break?”

It still surprises him at how easy it is to speak to you now, even after everything. And he means everything. It amazes him how natural it was to talk to you, how at ease he feels.

“Something like that.”

Humming, the two of you make your way through the wet road, waiting by the crosswalk as cars pass by, the light overhead blaring red. “Well, you’re lucky I’m heading home. I’ll just drop you off first, okay?”

Once the light blinks green, the two of you began to walk with the crowd.

Shrugging, he adjusts his hold on the umbrella, slipping his free hand into his pocket. “Yeah, alright.”

You said nothing else, and walked on, the falling rain filling in the noise.

In turn, Bakugou had little else to say with his mind riddled with his thoughts filled with insecurities and fears regarding the path he wants for himself.

At 16, he realized now how quirks were nothing more than an added bonus, they could either make or break you, depending on its usage. Like you said in middle school, there’ll always be other quirks better than yours, and nobody would give a damn about how you well you did in junior high when you get to the real world. UA was such an eye-opener. That, and you and Deku.

Now, as he turned to you, watching you hum a tune under your breath as you skipped happily on the wet ground, carmine eyes softened as he realized just how much he wanted to be someone’s hero.

“For what it’s worth…I’m working my way to the top.”

Blinking, you turned to face him, the corners of your lips lifting. “Yeah?”

Nodding, he regarded you in kind regards, feeling the darkness seep away just by the curve of your lips, the warmth in your eyes. “Had a few speed bumps to get through, first.”

“And how’s that working out for you?”

Exhaling, sharply, he tilts a bit, careful to not bring the umbrella with him lest he gets you wet. “…exhausting, but no way am I fucking giving in that easy.”

“Glad to hear that then.”

At 16, he remembered that one thing he wished for the moment he got his quirk, the one person who mattered the most to him, the other person who helped propel him to the top, he finally remembered what he had to do.

Finally smiling, the best he could do anyway, you rolled your eyes at him, playfully punching his chest. “There’s the fucker, I know.”

Being friends with someone like Midoriya Izuku is both a blessing and a curse – one, you have this sweet cinnamon roll, whose life goal was to be the best hero at his own pace whilst ensuring that people are safe and sound; then, there’s the fact that he’s disturbingly perceptive and dangerously analytical. For short, he can read you like a book.

Since you were younger, Izuku knew of your crush on Bakugou.

He was actually rooting for both of you to end up together, which was only solidified during the ‘proposal’. Dear God, that was so long ago!

Even when the blond boy turned out to be a shithead, lording over with his overgrown pride, Izuku was there to assure you that your crush is valid and that there's almost something good underneath Kacchan's pride. 

One Valentine’s day, sophomore year of middle school to be exact, with some push from your green-haired best friend, you were planning on giving Bakugou Katsuki Valentine’s chocolates. The idea intimidated you to no end, but it was a step. Your mother had helped you make them, all while teasing you throughout the process. Your dad had cried the whole time, whilst your grandparents drank tea to the tune of his wails.

You had given some pieces to Izuku, who enjoyed them much to your relief. So now, the only problem was actually giving them to the blond boy.

“B-Bakugou-kun!” a girly voiced called out, startled, you hid, back against the wall. “I-I made you chocolates! T-These are for you!”

It didn't help that you were not the only one who harbored a crush on him, in fact, half the population liked him, you had a lot of competition. Izuku would say that you had a leg against the rest, just because you were childhood friends. (To which you'd roll your eyes on because it was so fucking cliche)

"HAH?"

"Um, um...I was hoping to give them to you! A-Also, I-I...like you! Please go out with me-"

"Like I'd go out with an extra like you," he cuts her off harshly, sadistically. "none of you are fit for someone like me." There was a whimper, followed by a dark chuckle. "And you have the gall to actually hand me these? You must be outta your mind. Double, if you think I'd ever want to be found dating an extra like you."

Though they weren't directed at you, every word said sent a painful jab to your heart, loosening the grip on your chocolates.

You should have known better that Bakugou wasn’t one for Valentine's Day, he’d either snub the gifts, burst them to bits, or pass them to his ‘friends’. Today was no different. Braving a look, you saw as he harshly took the chocolate off the girl's hands and blew them to bits, his 'friends' laughing behind him while the girl stared in horror before running off crying.

Had that been you, it could've been worst.

Bakugou Katsuki could care less about feelings or liking someone, he cared for nothing but himself.

So, instead, you gave them to Izuku, meaning he got two chocolates for Valentine’s Day.

"EH!? (Nickname), what happened!?" seeing the look in your eyes, Izuku was by your side.

“Sorry, Izuku, I couldn’t do it.” you murmur, defeatedly.

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?”

You could only exhale, limply leaning against him. Still worried, he wraps an around your shoulders, squeezing comfortably. Seeing the chocolate in your best friend's hands, you felt the burn in your eyes, the squeeze in your chest, remembering all that time you spent working on it only to go to waste. In a way, it was metaphorically like dealing with your feelings, this stupid one-sided crush.

“Honestly? I’m tired of this stupid crush.”

Numbness washed over you, crawling over your nerves.

Seeing the weariness in your eyes, Izuku relents his words and works on a smile. “I-I’ll give you double for White Day!”

Smiling weakly, you replied. “Thanks, Izuku, I look forward to it.”

(Unbeknownst to the both of you, a blond teen listened in, hands balled into fists, sparks going off, before stomping away angrily.)

“Um, Aizawa-sensei, is there a reason why we’re doing night classes?”

Lazily glancing at Jirou, seeing her in gear like the rest of her classmates, who seemed tired and confused for being in the gym at 09:06 in the evening.

“Since you’ll be heroes soon, you have to keep in mind that you work around the clock. Meaning, there’s a chance that you’re more likely to work day shifts or night shifts.” His students shifted, reacting to his words.

“Well, that’s true.” Satou nods, arms crossed against his massive chest.

“Well, I work better at night, since I love to sleep in~” Kaminari says, grinning ear to ear.

“Tokoyami-chan, wouldn't you be better suited for the night?” Asui asked Tokoyami, who nodded once.

“Yes, as Dark Shadow and I have been making progress.”

“That being said, we’re only doing these night classes at random, to properly prepare yourselves. With that in mind, I’ve called for help with these classes.”

The class gasped in unison, half were excited, half were in awe. After all, it’s not every day you get outside help. Who knows who they'll meet?

As if being summoned, two figures appeared from the shadows, both sporting ninja-like costumes and donning masks - a sly kitsune on the small female, and a stoic angry-looking fox on the tall male. Together, the two bowed - holding their fists in their palms - at Aizawa, then at the class.

Standing straight, they began to take off their masks, lowering their hoods.

Midoriya and Bakugou gasped, immediately recognizing the two whose eyes glinting a dangerous yellow.

“They are from the Yoruichi dojo, they’re trained and proficient in combat, especially at night. We'll be under their care.”

“E-EH?”

"Hold up!"

“Isn’t that Midoriya and Bakugou’s childhood friend?”

You waved a two-fingered salute, rather nonchalantly. “Yo!”

“(Nickname)!” Izuku called to you, excitedly, his shock wearing off.

“What are you doing here?” Bakugou shouted, still in shock.

Tutting you folded your arms against your chest, fixing a dull look towards your childhood friends. “Weren’t you listening? Or were your explosions too loud that you’ve gone deaf?” those words were specifically directed towards Bakugou, who yelled incoherent words at you. Turning your head away, avoiding his yells, you stuck your tongue out childishly.

Beside you, your grandfather stoically took in the group before him, before his eyes fell on green and blond. “So, this is the two of you donning your heroics? Not too shabby.” Says your grandfather, the two boys stood straighter, much to the shock of their classmates, especially for Bakugou.

“Shihan!” Bakugou and Midoriya say in unison.

“Ah, the two of them straightened up!”

“Even Bakugou!”

“Just who is this old man?”

"He's the head of the Yuroichi clan," Aizawa said, hands still in his pocket. "a retired underground hero who's trained countless heroes, mastered the art of stealth and even earned the respect of several Yakuza clans for his many feats. He is simply called Shihan." Scratching at his cheek, he added. "Even I trained under him."

"That's an impressive track record," remarked Yaoyorozu, Todoroki nods beside her. "Countless heroes have been under his wing, he must be that impressive."

"Y-Yakuza clans!?" shrieked Urakaka.

"An experienced underground hero to help us further enhance our skills, as expected of UA!" Iida praised, hands moving animatedly, his classmates were careful not to get hit by them.

"He even trained Aizawa-sensei, that's so cool!" Kirishima comments, fists bumping producing a satisfying 'clack' sound.

“But, 'Shihan'? Isn’t that just a title?” Mashirao asked, confused. Beside him, Mezuo shrugged.

“Well, you get to know his name only if you’ve rightfully earned it.” You tell them, dangling against the banister, legs swinging.

...

...

...

“What the hell?”

“When did she get there!?”

Giggling, you drop to the ground soundlessly, landing next to Izuku to hug his arm. Shooting the blond a look, you playfully kicked his boots.

"(N-Nickname)!"

“Granddaughter,” called your old man, arms folded behind his back. “get over here.”

“Yes~” taking a step back from your friends, you flipped backward to your grandfather, landing easily into a seating pose, yellow eyes alight with mischief.

“W-Wait, sensei, you said that we’d have to train against them right?”

“Correct. The Yuroichi clan is the best martial artist you’ll find, but you won’t hear squat of them in the real world because of how good they keep their façade.” At that, you winked at your (still) gaping best friends. “That being said, within this class, you’ll see exactly how you’ll fare in the real world especially at night.”

Impassively staring out, your grandfather continued to stare down at the students of Class 2-A, his yellow eyes gleaning on each one of them whilst you rocked in place beside him.

“You may have had your work studies, internship, and last year's fiasco cut out for you, but that's still a fraction of what's to be expected of you as heroes." Some of the group fell silent at the mention of their freshmen year, a lot of things happened to them that forced them all to grow up too fast.

"Yuroichi,” Aizawa turns to you - cutting everyone's thought process, bringing them to now, you blink. “you can start out by picking the person you’d like to go against.”

Humming, you gave the class a good look, yellow eyes dancing from person to person. Izuku's detailed analysis flowed in your head, regarding each of his classmates.

Eventually, you chose Ochako, because you had been told that she’s one of the best combatants in class. Also, she had a rather interesting quirk you'd like to see with up close.

"I won't go easy on you, (Name)-chan!" the brunette says to you, fists clenched against her chest.

Nodding, the two of you walk forward to the mat, Class 2-A stood in line to watch from the side.

“Good luck, Ochako-chan! Gero~”

"Ochako-chan, let's go!!!"

“Go kick some butt, Uraraka!”

“This’ll be good! Some girl on girl action!” someone said, which was met with an angry bark and explosion soon after.

“Take your position,” says Aizawa. “everyone, keep your eyes on the two.” Lifting his hands in the air, readying. “Begin.”

Just as his hands slapped against each other, the slap resounding throughout the gym, you had Ochako pinned down to the ground, both her palms open and outstretched away from each other.

“What!?”

“What the hell?”

“She’s too fast!”

From his spot, your grandfather scoffed angrily, unimpressed. "Granddaughter, don't show off."

Smiling cheekily, you released the brunette and walked back to your position. "Yes, yes. Sorry~" came your breezy reply, to which he rolled his eyes at. Turning to Ochako, you offered a peace sign in apology. Rolling her shoulders, her eyes remained wide in confusion at how fast it all went down.

Aizawa, unfazed by how fast things were going, stood idle. "Alright, we'll try again. This time, play fair." He says to you, mostly. Eyes flashing red in warning, causing chills to run down your spine, your expression sours a bit.

This time though, as you both circled the training mat and settled into positions, you took a deep inhale, eyes closing. As you exhaled, your eyes slowly peeled open and revealed (e/c), much to the confusion of many - save for your grandfather, Aizawa, and your best friends.

"Begin."

Ochako struck first, coming at you with her hands open to take you down, but you managed to dodge easily in time, rolling on her back to land on your feet. Striking for her head, she easily deflected your attack and grabbed your arm. Anticipating this, you twisted your whole body, causing her to lose balance and trip. 

"Uwa!"

"That was so cool!"

"GO KICK HER ASS, URARAKA!"

While the class cheered, as the fight went on, two boys were especially keyed on the fight between the two females, taking note of your eyes.

Surging towards you, trying to get at you again, you stood your ground and waited. When she was within reach, you easily slipped your arm in hers and twirled around, as though you were doing the rodeo, and tossed her. Disoriented, she quickly got back to her wits, throwing punches your way, which you parried off quickly. And with your attacks, she easily dispatched your chances.

It was a rather even match.

"Wow, they're amazing..." commented Sato under his breath.

"I keep forgetting how good Uraraka is in terms of close combat." Sero seconds, just as Ochako aptly deflects your kicks.

"Yeah, but have you seen Yuroichi?" Throughout the fight, you ensured to knock away Ochako's hands - removing all chances of her using her quirk, cutting all her openings, and slipping through her defenses. "Damn, since's good."

Ochako grabbed hold of your arm, and you let her. Feeling weightless a playful smile plasters on your lips, much to her confusion, before you grabbed at her arms, throwing yourself back and using gravity to your advantage, maneuvering with her weight until you kicked her by the backs of her knees. Once again, the brunette found herself pinned to the ground. "And, dead."

"Alright, Yoruichi wins."

A series of cheers echoed behind you.

Grinning, you got off Ochako - who immediately released her quirk, and helped her up. "Thanks for the fight, Ochako~"

Despite being bruised all over, she mirrors your grin. "My pleasure, (Name)-chan! You're so cool!"

"Not as cool as you were!" you swayed a little, finding your footing. "Man, your quirk is no joke."

"Now, can anyone tell me what happened?" Aizawa turned to the class expectantly.

For a moment, there was silence, before Sero spoke up.

"Um, Yuroichi moved too fast?"

"And?"

"She...well, she shifted her fighting style time to time." Mashirao added, his tail noticeable shaking excitedly.

"Oh yeah! That!" Kirishima blinked, like he had a light bulb moment, hammering a fist into his open palm. "It's like one of those characters in those fighting games!" Ashido, Sero, and Kaminari nodding in agreement.

"And because of Uraraka's fighting style, she had to be the antithesis of her to catch her off-guard." Todoroki supplemented.

Aizawa nodded - save for Kirishima's comment, at every comment. "Anything else to add?"

"She was studying Uraraka," muttered Katsuki, arms crossed against his chest. "from the moment she chose her to the moment she stepped in the mat."

"Also, with her quirk allowed her to predict exactly how she'll attack." Izuku seconds in, remembering your eyes flashing quickly from (e/c) to yellow. "However, she only used it when it suited her."

Narrowing your eyes at your childhood friends, you called out. "Hey, that's cheating! The two of you know too much!"

"No, that's true." Aizawa pointedly ignores your complaints, nodding at the two.

Grumbling under your breath, Ochako could only give you a laugh before handing you a towel. Nodding in thanks, you dropped to the ground, sitting.

"Alright, so now, you've just paid witness to what you're up against. Next, we're going to test the rest of you. Shihan," Aizawa turned to your grandfather "I believe you've made a decision?"

Your grandfather grunted. "Yes." he nods, turning to the shorter man, shoulders relaxing. "Standard Rabbit Hole exercise."

Pursuing your lips at your grandfather's words, eyes widening slightly, you hummed afterward. "Heh, okay~"

"What does that mean?" a confused Asui asked, poking at her cheek. "Gero?"

"I believe it's an exercise where a whole group is to capture one chosen person. It's a common stealth exercise that the military uses." Yaoyoruzu explained kindly.

"You heard him, your objective is to capture Yuroichi."

Half the class blinked in disbelief, eyes wide like saucers.

"Wait, all of us?"

"All of you." Shihan confirmed with a small smirk, one that sent chills down the students' spines. Aizawa mirrors his mentor's smirk, albeit it was a smaller and softer-looking one.

"The person to catch her gets a free lunch stub for a week."

Mirroring your grandfather's smirk, you hopped to your feet. "Well, this'll be fun."

When you were younger and when your quirk first started to appear, it was rather unpleasant. Because first of all, you had your first period. You honestly thought you were going to die then and there had your mom and grandmother not been there to guide you. Second, straight after your period, you were overwhelmed by senses you started feeling - smell, sight, hearing, taste. It was all too much that you puked, nearly passing out on the spot.

It took you a while to get used to it, scared shitless at how much you could feel and sense things, and especially how more alert you these were happening at night.

At the time, Izuku was wildly concerned about how you've been losing sleep. You didn't have the heart to tell him about your quirk just yet, fearful of the power you had and how alienated Izuku would feel.

You were ever grateful to have such an amazing family to walk you through your quirk, the family's secretive history, and being a hero in your own way.

Since you were younger, you had joked that your family might have been descendants to ninjas, something your grandfather had yet to confirm or not. (Judging his dealings with Yakuza, you'd bet it was true)

Training hadn't been easy over the years since you were expected to master a great deal of martial arts. Some years later, you were forced to go through rigorous training to heighten your senses, learning when to turn them on or off. From your grandmother, you had learned to preserve energy and make use of them any time during day time, just remembering its drawback.

Quirks were always an added bonus, something that just made you special than the average man. Yet, quirks don't make you.

You learned that from your two best friends - Izuku, quirkless at birth, but proved that even without a quirk, you could still be a hero; and then Bakugou, though was gifted with an amazing quirk, if you had a shitty attitude, you were basically nothing without it.

Yellow eyes gleamed under the light, a glint of mischief playing through that mirrored the mask in your hand.

At the age of 14, you finally mastered your senses, allowing them to come on its full potential once it was dusk. Per family tradition, you were given a mask - one that helped protect you and leave enemies unaware of you using your quirk.

Now, at 17, you were seeing your quirk - quirks, as a whole - with a new set of eyes.

Donning the mask on, a loud blaring alarm rang out, signifying the start of the exercise.

The fox was ready to play.

20 against 1 should be an intimidating feat, but you, it felt strangely exciting. That, or maybe it was the warrior in you. These kinds of things were exciting in a way. This play of cat and mouse - well, rabbit, the thrill of the chase, stealth, saboteur, ambush - you could feel your blood tingle in glee.

The object was simple: one of the twenty students had to find and capture you. Should be easy, considering they had really strong quirks and experience you sorely lacked.

But as a Yuroichi, you were always taught never to underestimate your enemy and to always make use of your environment as much as you should use your quirk, they always helped to your advantage.

5 minutes in and you were caught in what seemed to be a crossfire of students, all deadset on capturing you - for their grade or that week's worth of free lunch. Frankly, having everyone come at you all at once was adorable, yet, it was rather fool-hardy.

It made them all the more reckless.

Grunting, you felt the echolocation sound back to you, giving you an idea of the area around you and the number of students in the way. Mapping your way, you avoided grabbing hands (appendages, tapes, and acid, oh my), hopping from one's shoulder to one's head, until your foot met the wall. Kicking yourself off, you were sent back, hands grabbing a ledge before using your weight to drop the ladder a few inches.

Hanging upside down, you lazily eyed the two heroes before you who individually kinda reminded you of grapes and banana.

"We got her!"

"That lunch is mine!"

Carefully coursing through the two, whisking through the grape boy’s balls, until you were in front of them, hands moved at lightning speed striking their abdomen, sides, and inner biceps, leaving them paralyzed and down.

"I-I can't move...?" Satou flexed his fingers but to no avail.

"GAH! Bested!" Mineta's balls fall to the ground, no longer sticking and rolling off like a ball.

Sensing someone behind you, you threw yourself forward, ice barely kissing the tips of your sandaled feet, barreling on the ground before crouching.

"Mineta, Satou! Are you okay?"

"How and why are you down?"

"S-She did something to us...!"

Mismatched eyes watched you coolly, you didn't let up, stance readying. 

You felt a rush of lighting behind you, followed by iron-clad soles hopping wall to wall. Seeing the mismatched teen's shifted posture, you smirked beneath your mask. Just as hands touched your head, you grabbed hold of his wrist, striking your knuckled index finger on his arms, before tossing him to the mismatched teen, his eyes widening at the incoming body.

"(NAME)!" an explosion sounded off.

As smoke filled the area, you stilled a moment, grunting lowly before turning on your heel and rushing the opposite direction. Hopping off the ground, you leaped building to building, not stopping once even as heroes followed after your trail.

Turning on your heel, eyeing the remaining heroes, you gave a two-fingered salute before falling backward. In midair, you twirled around, dodging an incoming combo move by Ochako and Sero, using the latter's body to cushion your fall, Ochako knocked out next to him.

Suddenly, you found yourself in some open area, with the remaining class surrounding you. Beneath the mask, you were smiling - almost madly, like the fox.

Easing into a stance, you all but raised a hand, flexing your index forward as if to say, 'come at me'.

And then it all came in a blur.

Attacks came left and right, but you were in tune with your senses enough to avoid each hit that came. You moved like water, fluidly, unyielding, splashing coolly on to the other even though the hit wasn't yours.

With your whimsical and unpredictable fighting style, it made it difficult for the class to know how you'd approach each of them, using their confusion to your advantage. Moves quick as lightning struck through through the bodies, but not enough to kill just enough to bruise and leave a mark. Adrenaline spiked through your veins, making you feel alive as your body danced with quick, harried moves. Not a single wasted hit. Carefully dodged attacks. Perfectly executed moves.

You were listening. Listening to everything, commanded only by your drive to fight. It was in the family and your blood was singing with every move. Hearing. Reacting. As your grandfather had said, you had to be one with the creatures and dance the night away.

Despite being unable to use his other arm, Izuku readily deflected your attacks with Black Whip working on trying to catch you off your feet. What he forgot was how much you knew him, how much you had helped him with his Shoot Style, and just how much you had predicted his actions. Letting Black Whip capture you, you allowed yourself to be swung around. Reaching Izuku, you took advantage of the proximity and wrapped your legs around his torso, thumb, and index finger pressed together jabbed at his elbows. For extra measure, you pressed at his inner arms.

Swinging your form back, yellow eyes fell on mint and blond who were fast approaching, hopping off your now paralyzed best friend.

A great leap over, you appeared between the two powerhouses. Grabbing their wrists, you forcefully tugged, switching sides and throwing them off, before kicking down to their ankles up to their torsos. Angered, Katsuki lifted a hand, to blast you away. Apparently, Todoroki thought of the same thing. Thankfully you ducked in time, but not enough time for the boys to realize their actions, and a loud explosion sounded off. The two were incapacitated from the blast meter...and anyone caught near it.

You landed soundlessly in front of them all, a few scratches on your costume but your fox mask still smiling.

Thirty minutes later, twenty students were down, half were paralyzed, unable to move their limbs, and had to be helped up by a fellow classmate, and half had bruises on their bodies.  A smirking Shihan greeted them, next to an impassive Aizawa, eyes glinting with a strange glee. 

"All twenty of you failed to capture Yuroichi," it was a simple statement, but man did it hurt their ego. First day of sophomore year and already they failed. "I'm not going to mince on you one by one, we can do that tomorrow. For now, tell me where you went wrong."

Grunting, the group looked at each other before it was Jiro who spoke first. "W-We were caught off guard...?"

"Correct."

"Yuroichi was too skilled." Mezo added, holding on to one of his arms.

"That's debatable, as you all should be, too, considering what you've been through in your first year. Anything else?"

Whilst the class were discussing amongst themselves, you walked towards your grandfather, his eyes regarding you with a soft, praising mien. He didn't say it, but the look in his eyes was the highest form of praise you'll get from him. Also, he handed you a bottle of water. Gleefully, you took off your mask, grinning toothily to your old man. Rolling his eyes, he ruffled at your sweaty hair.

"She fought dirty," came Katsuki's loud statement, glaring daggers at your smiling form, a bottle of water halfway through your mouth. You offered a peace sign, chugging at your drink greedily. "she's well-adept in close-ranged combat, especially because she knows all forms of martial arts and used it to her advantage and throw the lot of us off."

Izuku turned to his friend, eyes shining, as though he took his analysis right off his head.

"Furthermore, she used the situation to her advantage." Tokoyami's voice was loud and clear, Dark Shadow - a little worst for wear, nodded beside him. 

"Explain."

"She's well acquainted with the night, similar to my quirk, to which she uses her full potential and take us out whilst we are unaware of her capabilities as a fighter."

"A bit of stretch, but more or less right on the money." says your grandfather, nodding at Tokoyami. "Though, a few of you did give her a run for her money."

About to protest, you recalled Todoroki's ice, Katsuki's forwardness, Izuku's many quirks with One for All, and even Hagakure and Uraraka's teamwork, shoulders shrugging as you nodded once.

"It just goes to show that some of you may have underestimated Yoruichi for the mere fact that she has a latent quirk, too bad. Lest you all forget what happened when you all dealt with Togata Mirio last year?"

Your ears perked at that, remembering Izuku talking a mile about this amazing senior of his.

"Just because someone lacks in one aspect, doesn't mean they can't compensate elsewhere. Today's exercise shows that some of you are still leagues away from fully realizing that, and some of you are yet to be a testament of being more than your quirks. You all failed today. But make no mistake, there'll be brighter days to come. Or evening."

Aizawa's roundabout way of comfort did its job, easing the moods of his students. It was easy to find how he's such an amazing father figure to the class and yourself.

"Yuroichi-san, you were so cool!"

"Ne, ne, can you tell us more of your quirk?"

“More importantly, what the hell did you do?”

"You're seriously like that one character in those video games!"

"Can you do other stuff, too?"

Suddenly, the class was on you, questions were thrown left and right - it was making you a bit dizzy. Despite their injuries, they never looked so alive. You take a cautionary step back.

“Yes, please! (Nickname), please tell us!” Izuku asked eyes lit with life, his fingers making writing gestures.

“Yeah, Mineta and Satou were fine moments ago, then they’re not!”

"Hey, don't forget about Aoyama and Kaminari!"

"Tokoyami, too! I thought they'd be toe-to-toe at least."

"Oi, give her some fucking room to breath, stupid extras!" yelled Bakugou, hands sparking in warning.

Finishing your drink, you smiled at your explosive friend in thanks. "Well, my quirk's called 'The Night One', which means that I have the senses and abilities of nocturnal animals." Some nod at that, some try to digest the information. Giggling, you continue. "It basically means that I can see like an owl, hear like a bat, move like a cat, smell like a raccoon, and the like. It's major drawback though is that I get really sleepy in the morning and dehydrated."

"Why dehydrated?"

"Well, nocturnal animals are known to move better because there's no sun and it's easier for water balance to keep the body going. In the morning, all my water reserve's used up and I constantly have to keep myself hydrated to move."

"That makes sense," comments Mezuo, Koda nodding next to him.

Somewhere, Kaminari's and Ashido's head were spinning from the mini-Biology session.

“And as for what I did to some of you lot, it’s called ‘Chi-blocking’,” you explained simply, earning mix reactions – some were intrigued, some were confused, and some seemed perplexed. “In simpler terms, hitting your pressure points." Bringing your hand up, balling them into fists but curling index finger inward exposing the second joint, your thumb then locked in behind it to support the new position. You strike at nothing, just showing how you did what you did. "Which means that by blocking these areas, I’m also blocking out your quirks. After all, my quirk’s not that great, so I’d have to compensate greatly in martial arts.”

“That was a mouthful, foolish girl.”

Rolling your eyes at your grandfather, you flipped back to return to his side.

"She's practically a ninja at this point," nods Mashirao.

"Right, right, right!?" Hagakure says excitedly, jumping up and down.

"Eh, maybe. But again, my quirk's not that impressive."

"Nonsense, your quirk's plenty amazing, (Nickname)!" says your best friend, ever so ready to assure you, eyes bright. "It's perfect for any stealth mission!"

Katsuki nods, shooting you a look. "What Deku said. Don't sell yourself short, (Name)."

Your best friends' words made you smile the most, you duck your head into your scarf-hood to hide a dopey grin. "Dorks."

"Alright, that concludes tonight's lesson. Your classes have been adjusted. Get some rest."

"Ah, geez! Would you look at the time!"

Time check: It was now 02:32 am. To you, that's practically noontime.

“Oh," you say mostly to yourself, catching the attention of your two best friends, who turned to you. "and this might be probably too late to tell you guys now, but I’ve been transferred to UA, specifically in the Heroics Department…specifically in 2-A. Your class.”

Your parents were pro-heroes alright but were good at keeping a low profile and keeping a front. Many of their friends - the Bakugous and Midoriyas, especially, were led to believe that your father worked as an IT specialist while your mother was a customer support supervisor. It was a good alibi, especially considering that they were night shift jobs.

You could understand why your grandfather, parents, and Aizawa-san, chose to remain under the spotlight to save lives. You realize that it was rather half-assed of you to throw away their legacy, despite the fact that they were okay with whatever you wanted to do with your life so long as you were happy.

But you wanted to do more. You wanted to make them proud.

"This was more or less a formal introduction."

Their eyes bulged as your words began to sink in.

"I'll be in your care now~"

“…WHAT!?”

Name: (Name) Yuroichi

Quirk: The Night One | A quirk that grants the user the abilities and skills of every nocturnal creature, heightening their senses, abilities, and more but only at night. Because of its nocturnal nature, the user is rather restless and dehydrated during day time.

Power: 4/5

Speed: 5/5

Technique: 5/5

Intelligence: 4/5

Martial Arts: 10/5

Life at UA was…interesting. Much more interesting than how Izuku put it.

As much as you hated to leave your old school, your club, and your grandfather, you knew that it wouldn’t be fair to just hide away forever. You wanted to make something of yourself, regardless if it meant a shitload of challenges.

Thankfully, you had your best friends to keep you on your toes, making your transition to UA quite smooth.

Oh, and there was also the class, who readily took you in.

You found yourself getting along with Tokoyami, because like you, he worked well at night, and Ojiro, because he was a martial artist like you. Shoji was also an interesting character, as was Todoroki. Koda was someone you adored because he could get all the animals - especially the nocturnal ones you've been so fond of. Mostly, you hung with the boys, never really getting over your boyishness. But, you did enjoy Ochako’s company. And then there was Jirou, whom you shared a similar interest in a certain music genre. Momo made you feel like a cheap peasant, undeserving of her presence and grace. The rest of the girls were too girly for your taste but were nice enough.

Hitoshi - who had been placed in Class 2-B, was someone you'd considered a good friend. After all, you did help train him. He seemed to see you in the same regard. At times, when both of you were free or there'd be joint classes, he'd spar with you.

The struggle though was keeping up, now that you’ve mastered the way to balance out your energy. With enough water intake, you were up and about, allowing you some rest at night. Still, it was difficult to stay awake during classes. Thankfully, your teachers understood and allowed you to sleep in, your classmates – Izuku, mostly – had notes ready for you when you woke up.

After years of public school, you felt rather out of place in a prestigious school such as UA. It had a sort of elitist feel to it, especially since practically everyone was working their way to be a hero. Or a side-kick. Or a something. But, then again, it was just like every high school. You were going to make the most out of it.

“Why’re you still working, anyway? Isn’t your family loaded or something?”  Katsuki asked with a frown, fingers wrapped around his drink.

(E/c) eyes narrowed down at the blond.

“What, so I’ll mooch off them like you? Fat chance.”

Summer break finally came, you miraculously survived a semester at UA and were allowed to go home for your short vacation.

But first, you had a shift to cover.

Your two friends decided to tag along since all three of you were going to spend your breaks at Mustafu anyway.

“But didn’t your parents leave you money?” Izuku's bright green eyes turned to you, head tilted slightly.

True. A fat sum of money was left under your name when your parents died, waiting for your perusal.

“Yeah. But I just want to work, yanno?”

Truth was, working was supposed to be a distraction to help you cope with your parents’ death. After all, you had lost your closest confidant - Izuku, busy with One for All, and Bakugou had been a dead fuck at the time, they were all you had. You may have your grandparents, but it was just different when it was your parents who knew you best and all. When they died, a part of you died as well. You were left hollow, numb.

But now, things were...things were great.

"And besides, I donated some cash to my old school, specifically my old club." It kinda hurt to mention your old club, because you really enjoyed your time there and everyone was welcoming and warm (even though some gave you the stink eye because you were your grandfather's granddaughter). "They need it more than I do. I just had to make it Anonymous though."

"I'm sorry you had to leave your old club, (Nickname)."

Waving it off, you replied. "Nah, they'll be fine. Besides, they've always been plenty strong on their own." Humming in though, you shrugged then. "It does suck that it means I won't have to spar much though."

"You spar plenty in UA anyway," Katsuki scoffed, running a hand through his hair. Izuku nods furiously at this.

"You'll give Gunhead a run for this money at this rate!"

Since your transfer you were fast becoming the top (female) combatant in the class - maybe even your whole year! It also included the fact that you've had martial arts awards under your name and a family name as a sort of branding.

"Well, yeah. That, and I don't have to pretend I'm quirkless anymore." 

Both your friends reacted to that, mulling at your words. The word 'quirkless' cutting deep for both of them - all three of you, but you're all way past it now considering the path you've all decided to walk on.

"But it is nice to know that I'm free to exercise what I can do to the best of my abilities." You flex out your hands, turn them up, and gazing at your open palm, closing them to a fist.

"That's the spirit, (Nickname)!"

"Just don't let it go to your head."

"What, like you?"

"At least I'm strong."

"Fuck you, I'm plenty strong on my own, too." Turning on your heel, intent on returning to the counter. "Don't forget who beat your ass without having to use their quirk, asshole."

Katsuki sputtered on his drink, its contents flying everything much to your chagrin and joy. You couldn't help snickering.

Izuku could only laugh at you both, hashing out words at each other - words that weren't full of venom of hate, all in good fun, and just full of youthful energy. Somewhere, your manager eyed the two of you worryingly, especially at the language spewing out of your mouths.

The two stayed until the end of your shift, the three of you walking home comfortably under the night sky. Just like old times.

When you participated in your first Sports Festival, it was during a high time when you had mastered using half the energy reserve for the daytime. Coursing through so many obstacles was not an easy feat, especially when it was a hot morning and you were losing water in your system fast. Conserving energy for a nocturnal quirk user was not easy, after all.

Countless water bottles were finished in record time, boosting your system for the remaining games.

It was only during the semi-finals (yes, for some reason you made it that far) that your body finally gave out.

Slowly blinking your eyes open, only for them to snap shut at the bright fluorescent light above you, you groaned weakly. Fabric conditioner, soft pillows, fresh-smelling sheets, - you were at the clinic. The smell was almost too much. There was an aftertaste at the back of your mouth, but couldn't put a name on what it was exactly.

"Did I lose...?" you slurred, body heavy, your mind in a haze.

Trying to recall your fight, a slight frown fixed itself on your face. Everything that happened came out blank, your mind seemingly wanting you to shut down. Then, something soft nudged between your brows, as though to smooth it out. Blinking, you realized that it was someone's thumb. Once the frown eased off, the hand hung there, unsure what to do with it, before tucking strands of wayward hair away from your face.

Slowly, everything came into focus. "Katsuki..."

"That was quite the fight you had there," he comments, voice tight. You hum, things slowly returning to mind.

"He overloaded my senses," you remember, shuddering at the memory. You had been up against a Tech Support student, who was armed with all sorts of knick-knacks. "it was horrible."

"Yeah, it was." He grumbled in response.

The student you were up against armed himself with all sorts of knick-knacks to disarm anyone, and since your quirk gave you finely tuned senses, he thought you were the perfect candidate to test out his latest works. When it happened, small sparks were dangerously coming out of Katsuki's hands. He half-tempted to jump in then and there, but couldn't out of respect for you. Izuku had to hold him back, but even he was frustrated at how one-sided the fight had seemed. The memory of you falling on your knees, senses overstimulated by the Tech student who proudly advertised his knick-knacks to spectating companies, much like Hatsume Mei's a year back, sent him roiling. But then, you had used a tactic he and Izuku never saw you do before, you took off your jacket - to which, Mineta and Kaminari excitedly watched - and wrapped it around your head, leaving you blind. The Tech Support had tried to overstimulate your senses again, but with scaringly fast reflexes, you got to him, beat him to a pulp, and knocked him out for good. "But I'm proud of you for winning that bout."

Turning to your side, you worked on a smile. "Thanks," but did you really win? You did pass out after all. Maybe it ended in a draw? "where's Izuku?" you asked instead, in the end caring very little about your match.

"Probably preparing for his match," he replied, relaxing in his seat. "He's up against Monoma."

Ah, him.

"That would've been interesting to see."

"Like Deku would lose."

"Exactly."

Yawning, you rubbed at your eyes, realizing just how heavy your body feels, how you felt tingly all over.

"How are you feeling?" the concern was thick in his voice.

"Heavy." You reply, nosing your pillow. "Tired. Weak. Irritable? Hungry."

Unable to help himself, he laughs. 

At the sound of his laugh, a sleepy smile broke into your face. Reaching out a hand, you took his hand in yours, giving it a small squeeze. 

Unsurprisingly, his hand was much larger than yours but ever so gentle and warm to the touch. Much to your surprise, however, his hand was actually softer than it looked - despite having to blow up every goddamn time. Also, it had a sweet scent coming off of it, like burnt sugar. Nitroglycerin sweat.

"'anks for checkin' up on me, for being here..."

As much as he can, Bakugou tried not to implode then and there. His chest though? It was pounding, madly.

So instead, he held your hand tighter.

The next few minutes were filled with a gentle rumble coming from the ongoing fight, both of you were wondering how it went because it's your broccoli boy, some yelling from outside (to which he had half a mind to yell to keep their voices down), their voices softly discussing each other's earlier matches, some pointers, and Bakugou's upcoming fight.

"...Do you know who you're up against?"

"Dunno, don't care."

"Liarrrrrrrrrrrr." you dug your thumb nail into his skin, teasingly.

He barely flinched, face smug. "So what? I'll win either way."

"You are so full of shit, you know that?" Gone was the animosity and venom in those words, enough to crack a grin on the blond's face.

"At least I didn't puke all over the stadium."

"Exaggerating my case makes you look bad, just so you know." With your free hand, you weakly punched him. He caught your hand and tucked it back to your side.

His other hand holding yours the whole time.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, the door creaked open to reveal your green-haired best friend, tired-looking yet standing tall. Victorious.

"Hey, 'zuku..." you called out weakly. "Congrats."

The green-haired teen offered a small smile in return. "Hey, (Nickname), how are you feeling?"

"Better now that my boys are here," you chuckle, feeling tiredness creeping. "didja win?"

Nodding, your friend turned to the blond. "Kacchan, it's time for you to prepare."

Bakugou blinked, eyes dropping. Smiling sleepily, you tug your joined hands, carmine meeting (e/c), a happy sigh leaving your lips. "Go win some...Katsuki...'kay?"

Exhaling softly, eyelids falling close with lashes kissing the tops of your cheeks, your hold loosening in his, carmine eyes took in your sleeping frame. He stayed a few minutes, just watching you sleep. Just as he stood, he remembered your joined hands.

Unable to help himself, he raised them to his lips, kissing the back of your hand, your knuckles, and fingers.

The door shut behind him as he walked on, his best friend walking behind him. If Izuku made mention of the fact that both of you held hands, realizing that it had been like that long before he came to fetch his best friend, or that he purposedly walked out when you fell into a slumber, he made no mention of it.

In February, you got word of your grandmother had finally come home. Excitedly, as you were granted a leave, you merrily walked on the snowy streets, practically skipping out of UA.

"Where has she been all this time?" Katsuki asked next to you, hands in his pocket. He was insistent on walking you to the station. Izuku had "other things to do", the little sneaky shit.

"Things." You reply, cryptically.

"Things." He repeated, dumbly.

"Like I'd tell you, dork." you roll your eyes at him, the snow falling all around. "And don't worry, even Izuku has no idea where my granny's been."

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, his eyes settled on you, his jacket - that he lent you a few days back, because you're so reckless under the snow and 'how could an idiot forget their own fucking jacket?' - dwarfing your frame. 

The relationship between the two of you was a hot topic amongst students in UA. Everyone knew that you were childhood friends who had a rift and rocky relationship growing up, but now, everyone saw that something had changed. Mostly, people noted how Bakugou was especially towards you.

There was no name, no label, no nothing yet - Izuku sometimes felt like knocking both your heads together in frustration - it felt rather nice to just be in his presence and bask in this wonderful feeling. And whenever he can, he'd purposedly leave you two when you were lounging, studying, or keep people away from intervening between your supposed moment.

"How long you gonna be out?"

"Hm, two days tops. Granny brought some treats with her and I've been meaning to spar with her." you continue trekking, humming happily under your breath.

"How come I've never seen her?"

"Oh, you have. Both of you. It's just that she likes to be in the background."

He tries to think back to his childhood, trying to remember the times he spent at your place, trying to remember, but the longer he tried to ransack his memory, the more he was left with nothing. And that led him to a snowball pelted to his face.

"OI!" your laugh resounds as his rage fuels up to melt the snow.

"Bet you were trying to nail down, weren't you?"

"I can't help it! I don't remember her!"

Scoffing, you throw another snowball, which he melts easily with his quirk. "It's okay. I mean, what's to remember about you anyway? You were loud, so full of shit, a tiny, whiny, demon. The complete opposite of sweet little Izuku- hey!"

Out of nowhere, snow pelts you in the head. Katsuki smirks at you, happy to get back at you.

"Katsuki, you fucking ass!"

He sneered, bending over to build snowball and throws them. With your quirk, you easily dodge. "Fucking cheat!"

"Don't be a sore loser, Katsuki!"

Squeals and laughter fill the sidewalk, passersby avoiding the mini-snowball war between two teens lest. 

"Alright, alright, I jest! Come on!"

Catching his breath, the blond wipes his mouth with the back of his gloves. "You fucking started it."

"Don't act like you didn't have fun, Katsuki."

He liked the way his name came out of your mouth. There was just something about it that made it more special, and really acknowledge that it was his name. It was different when his parents say it.

His name means ‘victory’ and it might as well be one whenever you say his name.

"By the way," you call, cutting him off his reverie. "don't forget to ring your parents time to time, yeah?"

"Where is this coming from?"

You shrug easily adjusting your backpack strap and shaking the snow off your hair, leaving it frazzled. "All this talk about my granny made me think of families, mine, Izuku, yours." Hastily, you run a hand through it.

"My folks are fine."

"True," the train station came to view, snow continuing to fall down the sleepy city "but that doesn't mean you should stop checking up on them."

His nose scrunches, uncomfortable with the topic of coddling. "Do you talk to them?"

"Duh, what do you think?" you gave him a look, almost offended. "I talk to Auntie Inko, too. Not just my grandpa, you know."

The fact that you take the time to talk to Izuku's mom and his parents spoke plenty, seeing how fond the adults were of you. He could imagine just how close the lot of you were, remembering the many dinners you three have had and the holiday visits. Also, there was the fact that you were an orphan. 

As much as he hated his old hag nagging at him, his father's needless coddling - he was lucky to have parents like them. You didn't have that anymore.

Grumbling, he complies. "Fucking fine."

Reaching a crosswalk, the two of you stop at red, cars whisking through. Despite being damp from the top up, his quirk helped warm him just a bit. He'd have to hurry back to the dorms lest he catches a cold. The fact that he was with you, however, that made him warm - fuzzy, annoyingly warm that he could feel from his head to his toes. When the light flashed green, the two of you walk.

"You've changed." you say, he turns to find you staring at him in awe, surprise, pride in your eyes. “What are you up to?”

He feels his blood rushing to his cheeks, feels something catch in his throat, feels a flutter in his belly.

“Small things. Little things. Anything for a chance at redemption.”

“…a chance at redemption.” you repeat, testing the words.

He sighed, eyes forward. “For you, Deku, and myself.”

Bakugou Katsuki truly has grown so much since you last saw him. It made you proud, so fucking proud.

Weirded out by your silence, he turns to you, about to berate, only to freeze at the way you were glowing at him, for him.

It was reminiscent of the one he remembered from his childhood. That silly girl with dirt on her hands and fingers, leaves on her (h/c) hair, holding his hand with a flower ring she made for him. It was the one smile he could never forget, treasured, and one he'd never thought to be at the receiving end ever again.

“You’re so lame, you know that?” Sputtering, you didn’t give him a chance to explain himself before tossing him something. “Here,”

Although caught off-guard, he catches it easily. Way too easily.

Asshole.

He didn’t have to ask to know what it was, cheeks warming and reddening.

“Happy Valentine’s Katsuki~” giving him a two-fingered salute, you walked into the train station, smiling silly to yourself.

“O-Oi!”

Looking over your shoulder, (e/c) eyes blinking curiously at him, he could very well see your cheeks were just as red.

“…expect double- no, triple on White Day!”

Snorting, the silly smile returned, only, it was aimed at him. Surprised, but honored.

“Lame ass.”

Izuku was in the common area, furiously checking up new hero updates on his phone, a bag of chocolates shaped like All Might you had given earlier half-finished, a cup of hot cocoa sitting next to it when the front door slammed open.

“Oi, Deku!”

“Ah? Kacchan?”

The blond teen walked towards him, noticeably wet and red in the face.

Once he stood in front of him, he seemed to deflate. Scratching the back of his neck, chin tucked in, his actions very uncharacteristic of the loudmouth he’s used to making the green-haired teen worry.

"Kacchan?"

“…w-what does (Name) like?”

"Eh?"

His eyes caught on something on Kacchan's pocket, chocolates. Not just any chocolates, those were your chocolates!

Unable to help himself, Izuku combusted then and there – finally, his ship was coming to life!

[end]

masterlist

[collisiondiscourse]

i have decided i am now going to blow up your inbox bc i csn i’m sorry codi focnnf

b u t!! anyway i’m going to rambling abt my new dad for all au [whixh was the au i sent you that ask abt]

alrighty so all might is now midoriya’s dad. that’s a thing. i like to think that inko and toshinori were high school sweethearts who broke up after graduation but met again when all might was called to recuse some hostages and inko was one of them!! anywho all might recuses her, they go on a coffee date, realize they’re still in love and start again

they get married and have izuku, who keeps inko’s maiden name [midoriya is now inko’s maiden name bc i do what i want]. he’s the cutest baby who has inko’s green hair, but has one blue and one green eye! [these are /important/] inko and all might talk abt maybe giving izuku all for one when he’s older, but they decide against it bc they don’t know if he’ll have a quirk or not

spoiler!! bitch baby has a quirk!! he gets a quirk that’s so much different than inko’s quirk and !!! ahhh!!! the basic explanation is that all might’s all of one genes mixed and then “corrupt” inko’s like 3 generation quirk-having genes or smth and izu has a very, very complex quirk now. it’s called astron, and astron allows him to fucking astral project into the center of the university and shit chxnc

astron works two different ways: using his blue eye he can project other people into his own personal astral plane and do whatever he wants. while the person’s physical body is still where it was, their mind is in the astral plane. if he uses his green eye, he can project himself to his astral plane and fuck around without consequences!!

[there’s an untold third ability of astron using both of his eyes, but izuku tried doing that when he first got his quirk and immediately fell into a coma for like a month? it was bad and his mind couldn’t handle the stress and dipped lol]

ANYWAY, izuku grows up with a bomb ass quirk and still has his kacchan with him thru his childhood so things are a lot different than canon? the wonder duo are little shitheads together and i love them, they wreck havoc and i love them

i have more ideas for this story but this is all i have for now, codi this is so long i’m sorry i’m blowing up ur inbox 🥺😭

me opening my askbox and seeing the length of this au: holy shit

me reading the actual whole au: HOLY SHIT

AJ I LOVE THIS HIGHKEY!!! I LOVE THE IDEA OF OP DEKU W A FUCKED UP QUIRK JUST TERRIFYING EVERYONE HE COMES ACROSS!!!! heterochromia is SO so good as a character design element and i LOVE THE WAY THIS IS IMPLEMENTED YELLS. I WANNA DRAW THIS SO BAD!!! THIS LOOKS SO COOL

(serious writing/plot below - blood and vomit mention)

oh god and now im imagining deku like. being this extremely feral and annoying lil shit whos extremely powerful and now bakugous got someone on his level so hes a lot more humble as hes growing up but also him and deku are the?? BESTEST OF FRIENDS. and i imagine when bakugou is being a little shit deku just. astral projects him out of his body for a while and apologizes to whoever kacchan yelled at LMFAO---bakugou comes back to his body and is all like “....fucks sake stop doing that”

AND THEN omfgkjfds imagine morally grey deku who does whatever he can to win?? he knew he wouldnt get into UAs hero course fair and square (all might offered him a recommendation but he declined because he wanted to get there on his own with kacchan) because robots didnt have souls he could astral project so he practices his quirks limits like YEARS prior and he tells bakugou about it but never rlly shows him but on the day of the entrance exam?

he shows up. everything goes as normal and he finishes the written exams and then moves on to the practical exam (still seperated from kacchan like in canon) and like. Every one goes dashing forward and deku doesnt really try to beat anyone. He waits until theyre all in the center engaging with robots when he walks to the center of the room.

and he sees the zero pointer in the distance.

“THE ZERO-POINTER’S HERE!” He yells and points at the gigantic mech heading their way. All at once everyone’s heads whip up to catch sight of the robot, enraptured by its sheer size and power. 

As they all look to one direction, Deku makes eye contact with them and smiles.

All at once, every single participant in the area goes limp. Astron throws their souls into the astral plane with little fanfare and everyone watches in awe and annoyance as their bodies uselessly crumple to the ground from the outside. The green-haired boy is suddenly given free reigns of the arena and they seethe as one by one he deactivates or disables robots that were once under their purview.

(What some of the smarter ones notice however, is the way he seems to be leaving some stray 3 pointers untouched... almost as if he was doing the calculations in his head as he goes... on how to ensure the number one spot while others can still score points...?)

One by one however, they start struggling and reaching to reconnect with their bodies. Their gleaming bright souls bob up and down with frenzied energy and Deku feels it. He feels it like itches on his skin and goosebumps that turn into hills that dance up and down his back. He feels it like he feels his limit reaching.

Its still around 10 minutes though before he actually loses control and everyone comes back to their bodies. His quirk times out and almost like its angry, the astral plane takes his body in exchange for the dozens he kept in there. He gets sucked through and passes out while everyone else runs and destroys the remaining bots. It doesn’t matter though, because he knows he’s racked up enough points to stay on top. He lets himself rest and observes the blue-haired tall guy with engines who contemplates carrying Deku’s body to safety.

Until, he sees her.

Just under some rubble and very close to getting crushed by the Zero-Pointer’s foot, Deku spots a brown-haired young girl that he recalls has some kind of floating quirk. He sees as everyone runs past her, prioritizing their own safety instead of hers.

He makes a decision.

Quickly--recklessly, a familiar gruff voice says in his ear--he forces himself back into his body and looks around. He runs to the girl and attempts to dig her out from the rubble before she gets crushed. The robot comes ever closer.

Using the little strength and flexibility he’s learnt from years of sparring with Kacchan, Deku abandons her in favor of climbing up the broken concrete and metal to meet the robot’s visor. He knows he won’t save her by digging her out of there, but by god is he gonna let her get injured without a fight. These robots weren’t designed to kill, but they were designed to destroy.

Focus. Focus and listen to what’s around you, Izu-kun.

The world around him reduces to tunnel-vision and suddenly Deku is face to face with the Zero-Pointer. It stops, as if calculating how to discard of Deku without hurting him severely with its own strength.

Everything has life in it. You only need to focus and look for it.

Izuku Midoriya looks at the robot.

In a whirlwind of blue and green, he reaches inside of himself and searches for life. Cold steel and hard-wired code meet his gaze and he plunges even deeper. 

Focus.

Then all at once, everything in his visions snaps into sudden clarity, like he’s never seen before. He feels everything. Sees Everything. Smells, tastes, hears--and he hears how the metal beneath him bends and groans. He feels how it winces and shudders. He sees it as it opens its maw and its visor bends in a facsimile of eyes, pleading him as if asking how?

The robot beneath him comes to life and stumbles back.

Quickly, he scrambles to the nearest ledge which happens to be a broken support beam. Distantly, he thinks he feels his arm being sliced open on the edge of it and the warmth of blood streaming down his side as he nearly falls. 

“HEY! YOU WITH THE ENGINES!” He hoarsely screams to the still remaining, slack-jawed contestants. “I CAN’T KEEP THE ZERO POINTER DOWN FOR LONG! GO HELP THE GIRL AND TAKE HER TO SAFETY NOW!”

With a sudden burst of energy, the fellow participants start taking others out from the rubble while the blue-haired boy helps the brunette he was protecting earlier. As he watches them clear the rubble to drag her out, he feels a pang.

Who am I? a lost voice calls out. It’s raspy and almost-robotic sounding and only he can hear it. Where am I? What am I?

And Deku’s vision flickers.

In and out, he sees flashes through eyes that aren’t his. He hears voices that are simultaneously faraway and way too close for comfort. The world tugs at the sides of his perspective and a strain is pulling at the back of his head tearing his brain to shreds. He doesn’t know what he’s focusing or straining on, except that its working and keeping the zero-pointer down.

He grits his teeth. “Hurry the hell up! i can’t do this any longer--”

Bursts of pain appear behind his mismatched eyes and he wants to scream so bad and if he were looking any clearer he’d see the way that the zero-pointer thrashes on the ground in time with the pounding on his skull. Bile crawls up the back of his throat and Deku screams.

“SHE’S CLEAR! YOU CAN LET GO NOW, MIDORIYA-SAN.”

Izuku lets go and his vision goes black.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Proper Profanity.”

WARNING: Obviously this contains a lot of profanity, lol duh :) 

Hopefully it’s at least entertaining

Dr Krill was cleaning the infirmary.. He didn’t mind cleaning, it left his mind time to wander, to think more about the humans. Today he was thinking about linguistics and the complicated way in which humans spoke to each other. It was actually quite beautiful once you stopped being annoyed with it.

He had recently compiled a list of human idioms he found rather delightful. He especially liked ‘when I am ice skating in hell’ not only did it require knowledge of human theology, but also of human sports. Plus it was a great way to tell people no.

Made him want to wriggle a little inside when he thought about it.

Now that he had gotten the use of idioms. He was starting to think about the use of human exclamations. There were so many, he hardly knew where to start.

He was so distracted with his musings that he ended up knocking over a stack of bedpans. They fell to the floor with a clatter before spinning across the open ground.

He looked down and decided that this was the perfect opportunity to try out some of his new exclamations. He wasn’t entirely sure how they worked, but you didn’t get anywhere without trying, “Shit hat!”

He stared at the bedpans trying to determine what he was feeling at the moment.

He didn’t have long for his pondering as Dr. Katie poked her head out of her office. Behind her large square glasses she looked more than a little confused. Another head peered around the corner, and he was surprised to find the captain staring at him with a bemused expression. The door to the far end of the room slid open and a group of marines peered inside.

Hmm, perhaps he had done something wrong.

“Did you just say, shit hat?” Dr Katie wondered glancing between him and the captain.

“That’s what I heard.” he said stepping out from inside.

“Did I do something wrong?” krill wondered in bemusement.

The marines laughed, “What were you even trying to do/”

“I was trying to use an angry exclamation.” The doctor explained 

The captain walked over to sit on the edge of one of the beds staring at Krill with a critical eye, “Well, it was a good effort, but not exactly right.”

“What do you mean.”

The marines walked in to sit with them as did doctor Katie.

The captain shook his head, “Well Krill, you see cursing is a very delicate art, you can’t just throw them together like that. For instance what you were trying to say was likely either ust shit, or ass hat. You can’t just throw them together. Shit would have worked, but in this instance ass hat wouldn’t have.” 

“I do not understand.”

The captain cracked his knuckles, “I will demonstrate, let us first begin with the word ass

Ass/arse = your pretty much just calling them a donkey at this point

Ass hat = refers to a person who is usually stupid or annoying 

Ass wipe = a general insult for someone you don’t like 

Dumbass = an idiot

Asshole = someone who is mean or rude 

Smartass = can be a term of endearment, but otherwise it might be used as a term for someone who is sarcastic or a know it all 

Fatass = someone who eats a lot or is also fat 

Ass face = another general insult, but this is specifically an insult and a comparison on their face to someone’s butt.

So what you were doing doesn't exactly work because you  use ass hat is an insult for a person and not an exclamation.” 

He looked around at the others to make sure they agreed with him before continuing, “our next word is damn.

Damn = can be used as an exclamation of anger in general.

Daaaaaaaaammmnnn = is for general awe, like if I saw someone do something really cool.

Damnit = another exclamation of anger generally a bit higher than just damn 

God Damn it = is just a little higher than the previous two, but implies that you want the creator himself to come down and damn the thing that you are cursing.

As a general side note, you can use damn for inanimate objects.

Damn you = is similar but usually directed towards a person. The equivalent of telling someone to go to hell or flipping them the bird. 

Damn it all = We ramp it up a bit here. You just don’t want to damn the object, but you want to damn everything.

Damn it all to hell = see previous but more specific 

Hot Damn! = this is another good exclamation. You just saw something really cool or someone who is really hot, or something that you really want.

I don’t give a damn = is the fancy way of saying I don’t care.

Are you following me so far?”

Krill nodded eagerly doing his best to remember all of this on such short notice.

“Good, now we get onto another one which I am slightly less familiar but I will try

Bitch = used to mean a female dog, but now sort of means someone who is a coward or pathetic in some way.

Bitching = to complain 

Bitch ass = not entirely sure, but if i say to get your bitch ass over here, I don’t have respect for you, though it is often used as a term of endearment between women 

Bitchboy = calling someones masculinity into question

“Ok now we get to my favorite word shit, so beautifully versatile, but it means that you have to be careful because each one has a different connotation.

The noun Shit = literally means excrement but can be used as an exclamation of displeasure. It can also replace stuff or things. Like where’s my shit

To shit = a verb means to take a dump

The adjective shitty = means something really sucks

See, a little more versatile than before, now.

Shitter = a toilet or the location where the verb takes place

A shit = is exactly what it sounds like.

To take a shit = is the same as the verb 

I don’t give a shit = I don't care kind of like I don’t give a damn

I won't take this shit = means I am not going to put up with you 

Bullshit = information, generally a lie or something that is conflated or untrue 

Batshit = is a modifier to someone who is insane, it generally means they are really crazy

Shitthole = a place that is really horrible or dirty 

Shitstain = general insult for a person you hate

Shithead = see above

Shitfaced = really drunk

The shit = something or someone that is really good

Hot shit= same as the shit

You think you’re hot shit? = generally a challenge to someone who needs to get off their high horse.

A piece of shit = means you suck or your a lowlife 

Shitload = a lot of 

To lose your shit = to go crazy or get really mad

To be on someone’s shit list = means they don’t like you

My shit = it's mine my stuff my property

Your shit = your problems and I don’t want them 

Add an animal in the front  like chicken or horse to denote a situation or information that you don’t like. This is horse shit for example.

Shit hits the fan = things get real 

Shoot the shit = to talk with someone on a social level 

He knows his shit = means he’s smart on a certain topic 

You don’t know shit = you don’t know anything

To give someone shit = you .”mess with them or to give them a hard time

Dipshit = an idiot

I am honestly cutting back on the amount of uses in this situation because if we continued this, it might go on too long.

Kril leaned in a little, “how fascinating. I had no idea one word could be so diverse.”

The human leaned in, “Than you are going to love this next one 

Fuck = sort of an upper escalation of shit. I don't know if the noun means anything really but the verb technically means to do it.

Fuck that = I am not going to do that there is no way in hell 

Fuck you = I hate you go die 

Fuck it = might as well just do this thing regardless of the consequences 

Fuck me = an exclamation of annoyance. Kind of like how could my life get any worse. Generally used when things aren't going your way. Of course you could use it in it’s literal translation as a command form or a question.

Fuck it all = another exclamation kind of like damn it all 

Fuck this shit = generally a screw this thing or activity specifically 

Fuck this = see above but less intense 

Fuckery = like what kind of fuckery is this. A question used to ask about some sort of unsavory activity.

Fuck off = telling someone to leave or go away angrily.

Fucnking hell = just an exclamation

Fucking shit = also just an exclamation

Generally you can put fucking in front of any other curse word noun and you got yourself a good insult hell, damn et. etc 

Fuckwit = an idiot

Fuckface = general insult like shithead 

I dont give a fuck = i dont care

I dont give a flying fuck = i really don’t care

Thats fucked = that is screwed up 

Hes fucked = hes screwed as in a situation specifically

Lets get fucked up = lets go get drunk or high

Lets fuck him up = lets beat him up 

Well…. Fuck = an exclamation of distress 

A fuck ton = larger than a shitload 

If you get fucked over = you’ve been used or betrayed 

And the classic a motherfucker = sort of just a general term for someone, but I  want to say it definitely implies someone is having sex with their mom

Fucktard = an idiot. 

Krill looked on in fascination and delight, “Holy shit!”

The captain blinked and then grinned, “There you go, now you're getting it. Totally forgot about that one.” He patted Krill on the back, “Now go forth, be free in your newfound knowledge and the glorious art that is cursing properly. Make sure not to use it too much though or in certain types of company because it will either cause you problems or lose it’s power. Like for instance, don’t curse around my mother or she will kill me for teaching you. Don’t curse around superior officers unless they curse first, and even then try to avoid doing it too much. Got it.”

Krill nodded.

He was so excited to apply this new rule of human language

[awstenknyght]

Big Hero Six AU Part Two!!!!!!

A/N: i finished the next part!! please give me validation i love this au so much- also disclaimer!! this is not exact to the movie because A. obviously some details have to be rearranged and B. disney should’ve let hiro say fuck and i will stand by that

Warnings: death, language, spoilers for the big hero 6 movie!!

Tags: @love-pyramus @mrlcverman @joshkatz @thatsmycigarbutyoucanborrowit @weaselweaselweasel @the-cowbi @mister-sunny-raccoon-boy @panicky-pancakes

Wheels followed Kath to another room, this one more isolated than the rest. “I want to show you what I’ve been working on.”

Katherine pulled out a roll of duct tape. She put a piece on Wheels’ arm and pulled it off quickly.

“Ow! What the fuck Kath?” Wheels said, pulling her arm back.

A small box across the room lit up and a boy rose up from it. He was tall with blonde hair. One of his eyes was a stormy blue, it almost looked like it was made of metal.

“Hello! I am Switch Eye, your personal health care companion! I was alerted to your need for medical attention when you said ‘ow.’”

“A robot?” Wheels asked, amazed. She moved closer and examined it. “Kat, this is amazing-“

“I will scan you now,” Switch continued. “Scan complete. You have a slight thermal abrasion on your forearm. I suggest an anti bacterial spray.”

Wheels watched in awe as Switch Eye sprayed something on her arm. “You must’ve done some serious coding on this thing.”

“Mouse worked on it too,” Kath replied with a shrug. “He’s gonna help a lot of people.”

Wheels grinned. This whole school was nothing like she expected. For the first time in years, she felt like she had something new to learn. And SFIT was where she needed to be.

There was a knock at the door. A man came in and smiled. “Katherine! Working the midnight oil?”

“Just picking something up, Professor,” Kath replied with a grin.

Then man spotted Wheels’ bot and picked it up. “Wow. This is an excellent piece of machinery. What’s your name?”

“Wheels, sir,” she said, tapping her fingers excitedly, ready to ramble on and on about her work. “I used magnetic-bearing servos. Wanna see how I put them together?”

“Hey genius, he invented them,” Kath called over her shoulder.

Wheels’ eyes widened. “You’re Snyder? As in Snyder’s law of robotics?”

“The one and only!” he chuckled. “You know, you have some real skill. Have you ever thought of attending here?”

“I- uh-”

“She’s pretty serious about her bot fighting career,” Katherine said with a smirk. “Ready to go?”

Wheels bit her tongue and nodded. Maybe she could go here.

As they got out to the car, Wheels stopped. “I have to go here. If I don’t, I’m gonna explode.”

“So dramatic,” Katherine said sarcastically. “You could always do the showcase?”

“Showcase?”

“Invent something that blows the judges away, and you’re in. It’s gonna be hard. You’re gonna have to give up bot fighting.”

Wheels looked down at her fighter. She had to do this. Whatever it takes, she’d get into SFIT.

***

“I have. No ideas. Brain empty.”

Wheels was surrounded by crumbled up papers and broken pencils. She had been sitting for hours. None of her ideas were good enough.

“Wow. Washed up at fourteen. So sad,” Katherine said sarcastically, not looking up from her book.

“I’m never gonna get into SFIT. I’m never gonna amount to anything.” She felt Katherine pick her up and spin her around before throwing her lightly onto the bed. “Hey! What the fuck?”

“You just need a to look at it from a new angle,” Katherine said with a shrug.

Wheels threw a pillow at her sister before something caught her eye. Her bot. What if-

Wheels grabbed the notebook off her desk and began scribbling all over it. Katherine smiled with satisfaction and went back to her half of the room.

Over the next month, Wheels worked on her project relentlessly. Finally, almost a month later, it was ready.

“Are you scared?” Katherine asked as she pushed a large recycling bin to Wheels’ assigned stage.

“What? No. You’re talking to an ex bot fighter, nothing scares me.”

“Yep, she’s scared,” Josie chimed in from behind. She’d been spending a lot more time with Katherine’s friends from school, and they were more then happy to help her out.

“Kat! Your girlfriend is bullying me!” Wheels whined.

Katherine laughed. As everyone else continued to joke around behind them, she pulled her little sister to the side. “You ready shithead?”

“Of course, asshole.” Wheels nodded her head in determination. “I have to get into this school.”

“You will,” Katherine replied. She looked through the curtains to see a small crowd gathered. “You’re on!”

Wheels took a deep breath and rolled up to the stage. This was her time to shine.

“This is a microbot,” she said, holding up a small black piece of metal. Her microphone screeched. The crowd began to look uninterested and she panicked.

Then, she caught Katherine’s eye. Her sister nodded her head and mouthed ‘Breathe.’

Wheels took a deep breathe and continued. “It might not look like much, but when it comes together with its friends,” she put on a headpiece. “Things get a little more interesting.”

The bins next to the stage tipped over and thousands of tiny bots spilled out, forming a geometric structure next to her.

“The possibilities are limitless. Building, transportation,” the bots lifted her up and moved her across the stage. “Even accessibility! You think it, microbots can do it!”

The crowd, which had grown significantly since the demonstration started, cheered. Wheels left the stage and was met with a huge hug from Katherine, as well as congratulations from Davey, Cora, and everyone else.

Wheels noticed one more person coming out from the crowd. “Dad?”

Pulitzer nodded tersely. “Excellent bots you’ve got there, Octavia. You know, we could make a lot of money mass-producing these.”

Wheels didn’t know how to respond. Her father had never said anything about her work before, barely even looked at it. And now he was willing to work with her to mass-produce them?

“Not so fast,” Snyder said, running up. “You could also wait and develop your bots, or you could sell them to someone who only cares about his own self interest.”

Snyder was giving her father an icy glare. Wheels knew the two didn’t get along, but she never questioned why. Pulitzer had a lot of enemies.

The two bickered awkwardly for a bit before she cut in. “Sorry father, but I’m not for sale.”

Snyder smiled as Pulitzer walked away, assistant in tow. “You made the right choice kid. I hope to see you at school.”

He handed her a white envelope with the school’s seal on it. Her eyes widened. No way.

The next few minutes went by in a blur. There was lots of congratulations, Cora invited everyone over for dinner, but Katherine pulled her away.

“I know what you’re gonna say,” Wheels said as she gazed at the school she’d soon be attending. In a high-pitched mocking impression of her sister’s voice, “I should be proud of myself that I’m finally doing something important with my life!”

“No, I was just gonna say that your shirts on inside out.”

“What?” she looked down at her t-shirt. Kath was right. “Fuck you.”

Katherine laughed. “Welcome to need school, nerd.”

Wheels smiled. “Thanks for being for me. I wouldn’t be here without-“

Before she could finish her thought, people stated flooding out of the building. Katherine pulled someone aside. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“There’s was a fire,” she coughed. “Everyone else is out, but Snyder’s still in there!”

Katherine let her go and moved towards the door. Wheels grabbed her hand. “Katherine, no. You’re gonna get hurt!”

“Snyder’s in there. Someone has to save him.” With that, Katherine ran inside.

Stupid Kath and her stupid hero complex. Wheels moved to follow her, refusing to let her do it alone.

She was blown back by an explosion of heat. Everything went black, then red. Jet head was pounding. Every sound around her was dull, as if it was happening far away. Her hearing aid must’ve fallen out.

Katherine.

There was no way she could’ve survived that. Kath was gone.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Della Arc Finale and Shadow Into Light  Combo: The Shadow War! or The Last Stand of Lena DeSpell (For at least a year)

Hello all you happy people! And today the two arcs of Ducktales i’ve been covering unite for the season 1 finale! It’s been a hell of a ride: We’ve had a family reborn, gay subtext, a warriors homage, an underground adventure, a vacation with the gods, gay subtext, a giant shark made of money, a trip to old Scotland for some family fun shouting, gay subtext, a trip into Lena’s innermost nightmares that also involved a sasquatch for some reason, a heart stopping reveal, a heartbreaking argument due to said reveal and gay subtext. It’s been a hell of a ride and while the Lena train will go on, I feel both acomplished and happy to have finished up the Della arc in such a short time. Never doing that again mind, as it took up my entire schedule and pushed any other ongoing projects out, but i’m still proud to have pulled it off. 

When we last left off.. yesterday, The truth came out, the boys lashed out at Scrooge, Scrooge lashed out at everyone, and we all cried. Now Magica looms, our family is broken again and it’s up to two unlikely people to bring them together again. So join me under the cut for some parent trapping, some adventure and even more Weblena subtext than usual, as we enter the Shadow War.

Part One: Night of De Spell! 

I”ve come around on the episodes being treated as two parts in reuruns and on Disney +. They were BUILT to be chunked up later as there are clear breaks between episodes, said chunking is to make reruns on tv easier.. and it makes my job easier as it gives me clear act breaks. I’ll still cover them all in one article, but it makes it easier to recap it when I have two clearly defined acts, something that’s been a struggle when reviewing episodes that just aired like Let’s Get Dangerous! and the Last Adventure!, hence why I switched to breaking down the episode instead for the latter. So I really can’t gripe about something that dosen’t really affect anything negatively, at most it just adds credits to both episodes, and HELPS me a lot. 

And it really helps with this one as like most of the episodes for the Della arc... the first half of the finale is two plots that don’t really intersect that much aside from Magica mimicking Scrooge on the phone to keep him from going to the dinner. Other than that they don’t really impact each other until the end of the first part. So i’ll be covering both plots separately, and then just the episode as a whole for part two. 

Good. Let’s get quackin. 

Everyone But Scrooge and Lena in Parent Trapped:

It’s three days after the end of the last episode and everything still sucks: Webby is desperate to try and get her family back but none of them are hearing it and Dewey and Huey are taking it an extra mile and throwing their mementos from their adventures in the bay. Louie however dosen’t want to and it’s the one bit of an otherwise great episode that does not work for me as he’s not keeping it for sentiment: it’s a solid gold Kopesh. As someone who makes about 30 bucks a month and gladly sells stuff he doesn’t need, this annoys me on a fundamental level. Sell the damn thing and buy yourselves some food or some ninja turtles dvds like me. 

So Webby is worried they might leave soon and she’ll be back to almost no one but Launchpad assures her they aren’t going anywhere.. right as Donald, desperate to help the boys cheer up and relating to what their feeling, offers to take them where they always wanted to go: Cape Suzette! Spin it!

The Sea Ducks’ even on the flier. Baloo was a legend.. I hope he enjoys his retirment on Cocaine Island as Secretary of Goodtimes under President Snowflame. So our dynamic duo spiral into panic at the thought of loosing their family and best friend respectively. 

Webby: Someone’s gotta remain calm here Launchpad: So you? Even Launchpad knows he isn’t the adult in the situation between him and an 11 year old girl. So they come up with a plan. It’s time to parent trap those sons of bitches. They’ll host a heartwarming dinner reminding them of all the good times, invite Scrooge as the suprise guest and then spring the parent trap. Probably also sing Let’s Get Together given the two people we’re dealing with and given Beakley’s age she likely showed Webby both. Sidenote... I really wish we’d seen more of these two. It’s a team up we only got this once but both Webby and Launchpad being friendly weirdos with a lot of heart but not a lot of common sense made them the dream team and make this part of the plot hilarious and help lighten the mood given the heavy stakes. 

So later that day, we cut to Huey and Lewey who are looking into Cape Suzette.. and find themselves not as excited anymore. They wanted to go all their lives.. but it’s clear that traveling the world.. it’s just another port town, not much more or less adventuerous than Duckburg, and was likely only appealing because it wasn’t here. They’ve flown higher now, seen more and while they won’t admit it... they probably really DON’T want to leave Scrooge forever. it sounded good a few hours ago, it sounded great 6 months ago but now.. it’s just not the same. Dewey is all for it.. but that’s because Dewey was the one who took everything the worst. He put all this effort into finding his mom, into this whole big hunt... and also put all his faith and love and future into scrooge, so having that all puleld out from under him without the maturity to get that he lost a lot too, combined with his natural stubborness, has lead him to dig in. But before hec an convince the other Webby and Launchpad slip them the invitation. The boys accept, probably because with a child’s handwriting it could only be either Webby or Launchpad.. Donald set out traps for Doofus after the last time. 

So they take over the kitchen with Donald confused and upset and then just grumpy after.. they explain their making a farewell dinner. And one of them is his friend. And the other one is his boys surrogate sister. And their offering to make him free dinner and brought all the fixings when he’s out of a job

So naturally their attempt at a parent trap is about as subtle as a Killdozer through your living room, with Webby having made replicas of all their adventures out of food. Launchpad provided drinks.. that are melted popscilces (”There’s a riddle on the stick”). God bless you thoughtly dumb thoroughly beautiful man. So naturally this really isn’t working at all, not helped by Scrooge not showing up thanks to Magica, and Beakley showing up because Webby made the crucial mistake of thinking Launchpad could think bout anything but Darkwing Duck, Planes or a Darkwing Duck Shaped planes clearly so he gave her an invitation telling her NOT to come. 

Webby’s attempt to get them to remember Scrooge fondly gets no-sold, though in a very touching way as Dewey, clearly sensing what she’s trying to do instead picks Uncle Donald, with Huey, Louie and Launchpad all joining in saying he’s Loyal (Dewey, who also uses it as a jab at scrooge because he’s being a little shit this episode, and not in his usual fun way or Louie’s usual fun way), Thoughtful (Huey), Passionate (Louie) and that he likes his sailor suit (Launchpad). It brings the duck to tears and as a big fan of Donald, I love this a lot and it shows that, even if Dewey is doing it to take a jab at his uncle, they really do love and apricate their uncle and all he did despite perferring scrooge for the last 6 months. They may love their rich uncle.. but Donald’s there Dad and nothing can take that away from him.. not that a lack of an emphasis on  his role as their adopted dad in season 3 didn’t try. They love him and wether they realized that because of what happened with Scrooge or always felt this way and just never expressed it, i’ts sweet. For the record I feel while they loved him it took till this for Dewey and Louie to appricate him while Huey, being a sweetheart and the most like him out of the three, always did. Launchpad attempts to use a bouncy castle to fix things for some reason.. the inner machinations of his mind are an enigma.... or just this on a loop. 

You make the call. Beakley naturally, being a spy with decades of experince and someone with half a brainn, figured out their parent trapping them.. but to the suprise of both and the audience she agrees. The family’s been apart too long and she’s fully on board with keeping it together. It makes sense both just in the context of season one and with the reveal of the finale. For the former, she’s watched Scrooge be miserable and withdraw for a decade, and was the one who acitvely encouraged him to spend time with the boys. Sure she wasn’t happy about them moving in, but that settled quickly and last episode she was every bit as worried about the boys as she was her own daughter. She WANTS her best friend to be happy and knows he and his family are stubborn as hell, and knows that our dream team’s heart is in the right place.. but they have about a third of a brain cell between them when it comes to social situations. The finale just adds to it by not wanting Webby to loose her dad or the rest of her family because her dad’s being an idiot. And as a third I just thought of, now we know Beakley’s only ever had one family member before joining the McDuck family, she likely wishes she’d had one and dosen’t want Scrooge to loose that.  It’s also a VERY touching moment: Webby forgave Scrooge easily out of desperation, Launchpad did because he’s nice.. but Beakley while justifably pissed at the time and pulling Webby out of there til lhe stopped being a shithead, given the “your not family” comment, despite having EVERY reason to shun him too.. she gets that right now her best friend needs her to keep his family from running off. 

She also wins easily, making a pie that scrooge liked and taking it away saying they don’t want a reminder of that “awful man”.. before giving them Scrooge’s side of the story, if through double negatives Launchpad dosen’t get. She points out he spent nearly all his money, that their mother was her own woman who made the decision, and that Scrooge spent TEN YEARS looking for her, the entirety of her lives and only stopped because he was on the brink of loosing everything. That starts to turn the boys minus Dewey, but the killing stroke is her pointing out a very simple fact: he lost someone too and all their doing is cutting out their family and costing him more people for something that wasn’t ENTIRELY his fault and he spent a decade trying desperatly to fix. 

This gets Donald, whose the first to say they should go home. “This family has been apart too long.” To me, while I wish the show had built it up more.. i’ts Donald realizing how WRONG he was. He shunned his uncle and while he was right to be mad.. Scrooge did everything he could to fix things, and not trying to reconcile cost him a decade with the only family he has left that he cared about. Cost the boys their uncle and is NEVER what his sister would’ve wanted. And now he’s enabling the boys to make the same mistake he did, his own anger in the past making them think their resitment and shunning is okay when it’s not helping anyone. All he’s done is hurt someone he loves, someone who is easily his second father and teach his boys to do the same. That has to stop. It’s a great bit of character. 

Huey and Louie are natually easily convinced while Dewey refuses to at first and cries.. before joining in, letting go of his anger too forced to finally realize the truth, or at least what I feel it is: He attacked scrooge because he didn’t want to admit his mom wasn’t perfect, that after all this time he found out she DID do something bad, if not villiaonous, by leaving them and taking the rocket before it was ready, something reckless and selfish, and admitting Scrogoe wasn’t the only one responsible.. was admitting she left him. He finally lets go... just in time for a giant eruption of purple from the mansion. Wuh-oh.. as for why let’s go back a few hours. Boys?

Scrooge and Lena in Night of De Spell!

So a few hours ago Magica is still using Lena’s body, to the point that when Lena is able to force her out for a second she genuinely FORGOT she was there. That’s horrifying..nothing to add there that entire sentence was just really fucking terrifying. 

So naturally she plans to use Lena’s body to get back to the mansion only to find out the kids left from Launchpad (this is before he entered the other plot), but gets in anyway by manipulating him by faking that webby said something about him being weak. 

That being said.. he is in a VERY bad place, beginning the series running gag of characters eating nothing but Pizza and having pizza boxes everywhere as a sign of depression, as the mansion is littered with it despite, as mentioned before everyone only having been gone three days. He’s not even wearing his robe, instead wearing a dirty undershirt and rolling around. He’s so horribly depressed and miserable.  Magica being kind of nuts can’t fathom why he’s miserable and keeps trying to make him Tea.. which leads to something like this for about 7 minutes. 

Granted i’ts more by accident he avoids  Magica poisoning him but still. Also before we move on I have to give props for the animation here and Kimiko Glenn’s performance. She plays Magica perfectly (as Magica only uses her own voice when not around scrooge), and the animation shows off the diffrence between owners of the body incredibly well.

Eventually Magica realizes he’s not faking it and dosen’t want an easy win. She’s waited a decade and a half for this she wants at least some fight. So she manipulates him, talking about family (Not that sh’es a good family member but we’ll get tot hat), and how it weighs you down.. likely also beliving given what we know about her backstory, that he belivies that. That what he said to poe back then was accurate, not realizing.. he changed. 

So he decides to go back to baiss and get rid of everything.. except the dime and Magica being too eager for it gives the game away, so she simply bites him and takes it and... frees herself with the power of the eclipse. After 15 years Magica is free, at full power and quickly imprisons our heroes. 

Scrooge naturally tears into Lena before blaming his family for it.. before she shuts him up, pointing out that Magica got in here BECAUSE his family was gone. Had Webby been here she would’ve realized something was off and stopped her, as would the rest of the family. With no one left to watch his back and his insincts dulled by misery, he was an easy target. She WISHES she had his family. She realized too late that what she wanted wasn’t freedom.. it was somewhere to belong, somewhere where she’s loved and people care about her. Actual parents or parental figures, a warm bed, and a place where no matter how much you argue your welcome at the end of the day. To have a home. Scrooge takes both things in and thanks her for making him realize he was a moron, she was right.. and that if she helps him get out of this.. she has a place in said family.  Naturallly though given this is only part one their beaten easily once they escape: Magica turns Lena back into her shadow, more on that in a minute and traps Scrooge in the dime, and so part 1 ends with Magica ascending at full power and Donald giving the natural response “Aw Phooey”. Time for an intermission...

Part 2: Day of the Ducks!

So we pick up where we left off.. with Magica’s manical laughter and Dewey wondering.. who the hell is this? Webby fills him: Ancient sorceress,  mortal enemy of scrooge usual stuff between them. Except in this version she’s leagues more powerful. She’s also voiced by Comedic Actress and Former Doctor Who Star Cathrine Tate who I haven’t complimented enough int he roll but will now. She easily rolls between comedic and thretaning in an instant and was perfect casting, able to be delightfully hammy.. and unspeakably vile and abusive. 

Back to the plot Magica proceeds to make things worse by moving her base from the Mansion to the bin... and summoning ALL the shadows of the citizens of duckburg. We also get a few neat scenes as a result: Glomgold tries to force his to stay but gets dropped in the bay.. and suprisingly is not a throaway gag but a gag that leads to the setup of his plot next season and the introduction of Kev, who comissioned this episode,’s faviorite character. More on that someday. Fenton does some stargazing.. and naturally when his turns into an evil shadow ghost tries to summon his armor.. and instead his shadow steals it. 

Finally Gladstone’s... gives him 20 dollars because of course it does. All nice littlle nods and in fentons’ case setup for later. 

So while Magica begins her gloating, she had a long speech prepared, our heroes back at the boat try to come up with a plan. They do end up getting unexpected reinforcements: Gyro, Manny, and Little Bulb all show up as their shadows emerging destroyed the glass in the underwater lab. “That’s it no more underwater labs! it’s volcano’s and abandoned castles from now on!”. Well the last one worked for the Mads for a while. i’d of gone for it. Though fair play while they do keep Gyro’s cool underwater lab next time we see it and the windows break security shutters activate to prevent another flooding. Likely Scrooge wouldn’t pay to move the whole thing i’m betting. Fenton also shows up so with most of the supporting cast at this point in the show present, they can begin the raid. 

Donald does try to squak out a plan.. but it’s here an intresting idea of the series pops up: No one can understand donald. Well some people can, but not everyone can and even the boys mostly take it from context.. or at least Dewey does. This causes Donald to angrily chase Dewey around

So Gyro, not having the time for any of this, shoves a thing in his mouth, phrasing. This is the Barksian Modulator, a nod to Carl Barks and how Donald could speak in the comics and thus gives him a Don Cheadle voice.. wait.. does this mean comics Donald is voiced by War Machine too? I’ll table that. The point is he can speak clearly and in the sliky tones of Don Cheadle. Not as sexy as Keith David but i’ll take it. I also appricate Cheadle being fully game for this, doing a silly promo video about his roll here, likely taking a bit of a pay cut to do voice acting, and even doing donald’s trademark untitllegble raises. I do WISH donald got to give his badass speach in his own voice as Anselmo would nail it, but he got plenty of good performances before and after this and the gag of having an academy a golden globe and sag award winning actor with tons of charsima as Donald’s intelligble voice was too good to pass up. He even gives out an ah phooey! Such a legend. 

So he gives a big inspirisng speech and a new motto of “Ducks never back down” that Dewey uses afterwords to diminishing returns. Andddd has the kids stay on the dock for their saftey SEEMINGLY having leanred nothing. Seemingly being the key word. Just to jump ahead a bit his assault team of him and the other adults goes decently: They are overwhelmed, but Fenton is able to improvise a ray gun, and then uses little bulb to turbocharge it. It’s awesome and shows the guys got talent with or without the suit. Beakley keeps the boat safe as she can (and gets as frustrated as donald, which is great, showing i’ts not so easy is it?)< and Gyro gets captured and is disapointed when he tells magica he’s only an aquantince when asked instead of a friend, though let’s be fair here... Scrooge REALLY does value gyro and did not want him to die. Are they friends... eh I dunno, but I do think he’s more than aquantince. Gyro also deserved it after putting Manny and LIl Bulb up against each other for the job. That will teach you to try and unemploy keith david! Launchpad also gets the awesome task of crashing into the bin as a distraction, though Magica keeps tossing him back, which at least does the job... he also gets a TRULY magnificent moment where he leaps onto the plane, singing his own version of the darkwing duck theme song. Fucking amazing and a shame they never called back to this at any point once Darkwing was introduced. I’d pay money to see them both do that. 

So meanwhile with the kids, they naturally say nerp to staying behind. But they need someone who could help them bring them in. In Webby’s actual words, which I am not paraphrasing nor manipulating “Like a noble teen ne'er-do-well who can break into anything, including your heart?” And just in case you think i’m reading too much into things this is her face after saying that. 

That my friend is a face that just SCREAMS 

There’s no straight explination for this face or this line, and for anyone whose going to bring up the sisters thing in the finale 1. Sisterhood is complicated and sometimes not literal and 2. she was trying to keep Webby from walking into what she thought, correctly, was a trap. I’m doing this NOW because I forgot to in the review, and want to make it painfully clear i’ts okay to ship them as long as you don’t do sex stuff. Their chlidren. It’s gross. Don’t. It is precious. 

So they head to Lena’s and find the place deserted and kinda messed up.. and find her Journal which reveals her secret origin: 15 years ago, though her age is not exact and even frank’s said that and while we do see her fully formed as a teen, that might of been an artistic thing we don’t know. Point is 15 years ago Lena was born when Scrooge sealed Magica’s phsyical form away in a dime during their final battle on Mt. Vesuvius, her base in the comics and original series, so she constructed Lena out of her shadow to act as her minon. 

Webby of course is heartbroken, feeling Lena used her and all that bad stuff, though the boys comfort her, saying she’s still got them.. not getting the diffrence between familial love and romantic love but point is they know how Magica got out and what she did with scrooge, but they still need to get inside.

Huey, I think, Gets an idea and they swim underwater to emerge from Gyro’s flooded lab. Louie also gets his Kopesh back. 

Naturally though their own shadows go after them but Dewey cleverly disapates them: since their shadows they need light to exist, and a simple hit of the fuse box disapates them. Presumibly since Magica was forced to make Lena into a more indepdnent and unique being, she’s immune to this hence why this has only happened to magica’s shadow before.

So they continue making their way up, facing Louie’s old nemisis THE STAIRS in a whopper call back.. only to find the bulk of the shadows, inclduing ShadowdGizmoDuck, waiting.. only for Donald to show up just in the nick of time. Turns out het PLANNED for all of this: he knew they wouldn’t stay put if he told them to and would find their own way in, thus allowing his force to be the bait. Fucking brilliant. 

So our heroes head inside while Donald takes on an army single handed.. if with his modulator bugging out.. and given he and Beakely enter the bin via the office entrance later, he BEAT THE GIZMODUCK ARMOR. If you needed proof donald is a legend, there you go. Goodnight.

Anyways our heroes head inside, and when asked what they do, Dewey manages to give his own badass line “Do what we do best make trouble”. What follows is an awesometastic final fight with every one of the kids using their own talents against Magica in one epic clash. Huey simply asks the questions he has while dodging Magica, throwing her off ballance, and nearly getting her weakness out of her. Louie uses his faster speed at burrowing in the gold to easily dodge her and to get her to break a mirror and claims it was a curse. While she dosen’t buy it he eventually uses his silver tounge to wear her down... and leave her open for a kick to the ribs. “Ow my ribs”. Magica drops the dime and it’s clear our first two boys were just the warmup. This is the headliner and she is pissed, coming at Magica with everything. While we’d seen how badass Webby was all season.. this is her crowning glory. The moment that shows she’s not just the best of the kids she EQUALS Donald and Della in martial combat, if not in experince and easily keeps the pace with Magica, railing at her for taking her family and her friend away. Magica tries gaslighting her by saying Lena wasn’t real.. only for lena to come back. 

In one glorious moment, Lena shows off how far she’s come, defying Magica at FULL power to return and fight back, keeping her off webby and giving Dewey, who magica kept from getting the dime seconds earlier, heads for the dime. She’s gone from going with her aunt for her own selfish reasons.. to fighting her with everythig she has left knowing she won’t surivive.. and Webby gets proof that Lena really did love her. Wether she tricked her or not.. she loved her.. and sadly enough to die for her as Magica, after telling Lena “your not family” after Lena calls her aunt, seemingly destroys her and a furious webby attacks in grief and rage. The “your not family part” also gives horrifying context to magica’s abuse: she likely abused Lena.. because Lena wanted family.. and Magica just wanted a minion.. and now we know her backstory.. she already LOST the only family she thought she had and hardenred herself, refusing to loose anyone again and thus took it out on an innocent child like the heartless monster she is. 

However while Lena’s temporary death didn’t stop Magica.. it gave Dewey a dewstraction and he got the dime back. He tearfully apologizes to Scrooge.. before having to run again, but both have genuinely and finallyr econclied, putting away their own anger and pride and hurt and restoring the family good. Dewey uses the dime to block as Magica corners him.. and that desepration move frees Scrooge. We then get another hell of a fight as Scrooge easily counters her, uses his cane as a sword.. and THANKS HER. As far as he knew without her he’d of lost his family..w ith her , and with Lena, he found the strength to welcome them back in and they came for him when he needed them. This , given the Poe thing, infuraties her MORE, though this time she deserves him making her feel bad and using his douchebaggery against her, and he disarms her of her staff, which breaks on Donald’s head. Magica is dewpowered without her staff and without her amulet which was absorbed into Lena. Laucnhpad also gets a moment by bodyslamming her from the plane. She escapes, why they don’t go after her I have no fucking clue seriously guys what, but the point is for today our heroes have won. The bin, mansion and most of the city may be damaged.. but the family is whole again, cemented by scrooge callign out his nephews names (Minus dewey.. but intetoinally this time) and saying “Curse me kilts i’ve missed you”. After years of pain, hurt and sorrow..the family is whole once more and as they enjoy a midnight swim together, the future is all ahead of them. 

But there’s only one thing.. or rather one person missing. And as we close out the episode and the season we cut to the moon.. where Della is watching a newscast.. and sees her boys for the first time. And we hear her for the first time. SEQUEL HOOK BITCHES. 

Final Thoughts on The Shadow War!:

Shadow War is an EXCELLENT capper to the season and both it’s arc, tying both together beautifully by having Scrooge’s misery over his family leaving him vunerable to Magica. Any complaints I can muster are minor nitpicks, it ties in everything that had happened up to this point into a neat bow while leaving two big sequel hooks for next season for each arc. Though it’d take their sweet time, and some weird rescheduling from Disney ,  to get to the Lena one. It’s heartfelt, satisfying and awesome in every measure and is only the weakest of the three finales because the other two had even more shit to work in after seasons of hard work building up this world, with larger stakes and what not.  It also has great symmetry with Woo-ooo and had the series ended here, and taken out the stinger.. it would’ve been decently satisfying. Thankfully it didn’t and we got two more knockout seasons after this and a whole other arc to cover at some point.  It’s still utterly fantastic and still worth your time. Now for something new as this is the first story arc for a series i’ve finished, and as such ...

Final Thoughts on The Della Arc:  I”ll get to the Lena arc, both for this season and as a whole, once I finish this retrospective. But for now how does the Della Arc hold up after all this time? Decently. It does have i’ts problems: The pacing is pretty bad: the arc is staggered out fairly but the size of it’s mystery coupled with the lack of any real info about Della for the entire goddamn season when this is her first big roll in anything, is annoying and will never not be even though we now have all the answers. 

So while i’ts not perfect.. it’s still pretty damn good. They took one of Disney’s greatest lingering questions that went purposfully unanswered.. and answered it.. turning it into a masterful series of character pieces and using it to drive Dewey as a character. This was his arc and it shows depth to him: in most episodes he’s mostly pluck and adhd, but the arc shows off the hole left by not knowing his mom, his determination.. but also his selfishness and stubborness. It really fleshes the kid out and makes you root for him even when he’s fucking up a lot. The character work with EVERYONE, from Dewey in general to Webby and Donald in Ithaquack, to the other boys on the sunchaser to Scrooge in the last two/three eps, to Beakly in the same.. ther’es just lots of great stuff in this arc and way too many great moments to dismiss it. The pacing may of been shot, we may not have learned mcuh about della.. btu sometimes adventure is about the journey not the destination, and the journey AND where it took us were both phenominal so yeah. It’s a good arc. Not the series best, but a good start. 

As for the Lena Arc i’m saving my throughts on that till we finish it as unlike this arc, which leads into the next but isn’t 100% connected to it, her arc extends for the rest of the series character wise, story wise and weblena wise. So we’re not done with this retrospective and i’ll save my thoughts for when we get to season 3. But Covering the della arc was a lot of fun, exausting but fun, and again any future arcs that aren’t paid for will be staggered out and any interlocking arcs that are paid for will have both paid for. Now with that out of the way..

NEXT TIME ON SHADOW INTO LIGHT: Lena gets SO JEALOUS as Webby makes a new friend and everyone gets a new faviorite as Violet is introduced! Meanwhile Beakley is desperate to prove to her 11 year old grandaughter she has friends and decides to befriend launchpad. Shenanigans insue. See you next week!

Next Time on this blog: It’s back to Amphibia! It’s time for some Zelda action as our heroes go to the first temple. I’m expecting either a giant spider or a shadowy ghost version of andrias. Don’t let me down show!

Until then, stay safe, follow me on patreon and on this blog and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. 

[daddystevee]

Crashing down

(steve harrington x hopper!reader / billy hargrove x hopper!reader)

Hi guys! I’m new at writing stories and shit but ya know what oh well. This is gonna be my first story or fic whatever you call it so no hate pls 😁 feedback is very much appreciated. My god I don’t even know where to start.. but thanks and enjoy love bugs. 

Catch up here

Warnings: angst?, sadness, Stranger Things s3 spoilers (eventually), uh yeah 

Part 1/?

Word count: 1458

Summery: Sometimes things just don’t go as planned and your world just come crashing down, but it’s a good thing that you have people in your life to be there to catch you when you fall. 

A little backstory, your name is Y/N Hopper, daughter of Chief Hopper. You have been best friends with Steve Harrington since middle school.You had always had sort of a crush on him, but you never really did anything about it since you’re best friends. You two stuck together through thick and thin, you even stuck out the whole King Steve phase and all of the Nancy bullshit in high school, which kind of sucked but you made a few friends out of it, like Nancy, Barb, Carol and Tommy H. (even though you didn’t exactly Like Tommy and Carol). 

Since you were friends with Nancy, you would end up being a part time babysitter of the party, which you didn’t mind because you just so happen to love all of the kids and the nerdy shit that they were into. You would hang out with them and spectate their D&D campaigns, giving feedback every now and then. So when everything went down with Will’s disappearance you wanted to help as much as you could, because that was one of your babies. (Will is baby <3)  That’s when you got sucked into all of the upside down stuff, and your dad was NOT a fan. After losing your little sister and your mother, Hop would do any and everything to keep you safe, you were all he had left. In the end of it all you got Will back and gained a new sister, El.

When heart-breaker Billy Hargrove moved into town you, like every other girl at Hawkins High, fell head over heels for him. But something about you made Billy super interested, and not just interested for a day or two. After awhile of seeing each other Billy started to open up to you about everything, about Neil, his life back in California, his dreams and everything in between. He eventually asked you to be his girlfriend and of course you said yes! This boy would do anything for you, he was soft for you. He wasn’t exactly crazy about you being best friends with Harrington (because he hated his guts), but there wasn’t a lot he could do about it. You guys would argue about a few things here and there, but never bad, until recently. It almost seemed as if everything you did annoyed Billy. You would be talking to him about something and he wouldn’t even attempt to act like he was paying attention to what you were saying because he was bored or annoyed. You could almost say he looked like he was losing interest in you. 

Then there was that one night, in 1985.

➸

June 29, 1985

It was one of those nights where you were arguing with Billy in the front seat of his Camaro, in your driveway. Maybe it was because you had been spending more time with the kids recently, watch over the little shitheads. Maybe it was because you saw they way he would be flirting with Mrs. Wheeler when he was on duty at the pool, and didn’t think that you were looking. Whatever it was, it was stupid and you shouldnt have been arguing in the first place. It was at this moment that you realized that you and Billy were drifting apart. One thing led to another and Billy started yelling at you full force, and there was no holding back. He had never yelled at you like this before. 

Tears started to form in your eyes, so you opened your door and got out of the car slamming the door behind you before he could get a word out of his mouth.

“Y/N!” Billy yelled, voice still full of anger.

You didn’t need to turn around to know that he was hot on your tail following you to the front door of your dad’s cabin.

“Y/N, baby c’mon” his voice softened.

“No, Billy! You don’t get to ‘baby c'mon’ me after you just yelled at me for spending too much time with the kids’ when it’s literally my job and you’re the one spending too much time ogling at Mrs. Wheeler and then act like it’s not a big deal and that everything’s okay!”, you had finally had enough. 

“I’m sor-”

“Billy, I love you. I literally love you to the moon and then some. I give you my all and I try to make this work but I’m starting to think that the feeling isn’t mutual.” you finally admitted.

Billy stood with his mouth open in shock to what you had just said. You stood staring at each other for a few solid seconds, but having a staring contest was the last thing you needed so you turned on your heels and marched your way up the stairs to your house, leaving Billy in the darkness of the forest, alone and hurt. You slammed the door behind you and slid your back down the door to the ground. Shortly after, you heard the familiar sound of the Billy revving up the engine of his Camaro, and finally driving away. Did you really just say all of that? What does this mean? What will become of your “relationship”?

That’s when all of the tears finally fell, your head hung low in between your knees. Quiet sobs left your throat, you were happy that your dad and El weren’t home, well that’s what you thought at least. El slowly makes her way into the living room, staring at you with wide eyes. She took a step closer to you and the floor make a creaking noise. That was when you realized you weren’t home alone.

Your head snapped up to meet her brown eyes. Your eyes were bloodshot and filled with tears, the only time El had ever seen you cry was when she had made her reappearance in November of 1984. You started to open your mouth to say something to her but before you could she fell onto the floor and into your arms. At first you didn’t hug back, but when she squeezed you with all her might you hugged her back like it was your last night on earth. 

You eventually moved from the floor to your room, snuggling with your little sister on your bed. It was around 11 pm when you heard three soft knocks on your bedroom door.

“Come in..” you managed to get out between the sniffles.

Hopper opened the door slowly and peeked his head in, noticing the state you were in, he suddenly changed his force with the door pushing it open harder than intended. He quickly walked over to you and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Why are you crying? Are you okay? What happened?” he questioned

“Billy and I- we- we got in a fight” you said thinking back on the fight 

Tears started forming in your swollen eyes once again. Your father tensed up at the thought of his little girl being so heartbroken over a stupid boy. He instantly began plotting how he was going to turn this little shits life upside dow-

“But it’s okay.” you said softly “I mean everyone had fights, right? People go through shit..”

“Language” El commented.

You turned to her with an amused look on your face and you two burst into giggles for no reason. You loved being apart of this little family, for this very reason. Someone could be having the most awful, shitty, terrible day and someone would be your ray of sunshine and make your dark world a little bit brighter. 

“Well I know you probably want a little bit of space kid, so I’ll leave you two alone, but if you need me to tear that son of a bitches balls off I wi-”

“DAD!” you and El both shouted amongst the laughter that broke out into the room

“Okay, okay.. I won’t..” he started, “unlessyouchangeyourmind” he finished 

You started to motion for your dad to leave the room, he started to take El out with him.

“Hey El, can you stay?” you asked loud enough for them both to hear.

El turned to you with a smile on her face as wide as it could’ve been, she ran and leaped back onto your bed and engulfed you in a big bear hug. Once you two got settled into a comfortable position you began drifting off into a peaceful slumber thinking, ‘maybe tomorrow will be better?’

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, Part 6.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like the scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: Eyo eyo, Fez and reader being cuteee.

Word Count: 2.5 K

Warnings: None

Read the rest here, babe:  PART 1  PART 2  PART 3  PART 4  PART 5

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Not everything in your fuckin' life can go as you want it to go. That's some fuckin' Murphy's law or what. Sometimes you love a girl - and you find our she's boy afterward. Sometimes you want a child more than anything else and just can't have it and those who don't want them have a bunch of kids. Sometimes you kiss a man you have a crush in a pool in front everybody else on a party and everything in you just clicks off at once and you just fell asleep because the combination of eight shots of vodka drank in like five minutes and an almost deadly coffee kicks in too hard.

When you were a teen, you would swear it was you v. the whole world destiny thing. No-one stood by your side, you were a lonely soldier. You were sure that you couldn't reach happiness at any point in your life because something good happened just for something bad to happen immediately after that. But as time was passing, you got to know that everyone has their ups and downs in their lives, that life isn't a straight line of good things. Your life was completely normal and simple.

That morning your life felt nothing like simple or normal. You had a hungover, your head hurt so much it was unbelievable and you were sure that you must be paralyzed because your brain acted like it can't move your body a shitty millimeter forward.

But at least you weren't naked, in fact, somebody has laid you on a sofa and covered you up in a furry, nice-smelling blanket. Your body was warm, but your hair put in a messy bun was still wet. Overall you felt safe and nice.

After having an internal argument with your brain, somehow your eyes managed to open. The light around you was subtle, thank God, so your eyes didn't hurt as much as they could. This place was not familiar to you - it was a small, older flat. It smelled a bit like a good vodka and a good quality kush. You were sprayed all over an old, brown sofa on three big pillows which could be considered mattresses.

A single idea of where you were or how did you got there could not be found in your mind. You must've been tripping during the night a lot.

A hum came up from your lips as you sat, almost screaming when a boy appeared on a sofa on the opposite side of the small table. He was watching you with an intense stare, chewing on a small piece of wood. You were shocked, he was around thirteen years old, but his face had a few tattoos on them, he had a murderous look in his eyes and overall, he was appearing like a not so much friend person to you. You have seen him at the shop as well. He crossed his hands over his chest, not leaving you with his not so nice gaze.

"Ya feelin' alrite? No serious stomach ache or some shit like dat?" - He took the wood out of his lips and remained in looking at you.

"I think I'm good. Headache is the thing that makes me a bit uneasy." - You smiled at him, but his face remained completely, dead serious. Then he nodded, got up and searched through a few cabinets. He gave you a glass of water and gave you a slight nod. - "There's some cereal in the cabinet, drink diz and take the pill, you will feel a bit betta'. Gonna find Fezzy, need to finish some business."

"What's your name, by the way?" - You shouted when he almost left the apartment. The boy turned back to you and played with his huge golden necklace in his hand. He has Fezco's hairstyle and his eyes were flat as well.

"Name's Ash. Nice to meet ya, girl." - He smiled a bit, it was almost invisible, but it felt warm. Then he left immediately, letting you all alone. So you followed Ash's instructions - you swallowed that painkiller and got up to have a small breakfast. Nesquik sounded the best to your grumpy stomach.

You had your Adidas shorts from the party still on, but no socks nor sneakers or your very own t-shirt. Somebody lend you a really long, old, oversized t-shirt which reached the lower half of your thighs. You sat there, leaned with your ass into the counter and held the bowl in your hand. It seemed that Fezco took you home. Could it be his home? His flat? That could be possible.

"Heya newbie. How ya doin'?" - Fez walked into the room with a slight smile shining through his face. Then he seemed to be emotionless in the next second. - "Ya alrite? Ash said ya lookin' good but I like to be sure on ma own."

"Yeah. I'm... I'm good actually. I'm really glad for those painkillers, only my head hurts a bit. Should my stomach hurt?" - You asked with a frown. Ash and Fez both ask you without talking to each other.

"No, it should not. Just askin', I'm curious. You drank." - Fez added. The fear that you made a genuine asshole form yourself in front of everyone was gone in a second. They were just worried when you were out.

"Nice clothes. They aren't Ash's, are they?" - You asked with a slight smile. You rearranged the t-shirt upon your breasts. He nodded, but his expression hasn't changed a single shitty bit.

"Haven't touched ya when you fell asleep, I swear. Any of us. Just brought ya here, made ya wet clothes hang up and covered ya in a blanket. Wanna some coffee?" - He swayed from the sofa to next to the counter just a slight away from you, making the machine brew some.

"... Impatient, I see. Okay. Will have some, thank you." - You nodded and shoved your mouth with a spoon full of some Chocolate cereals. You would fucking swear that it was the best food you ever fucking had.

"Wild evenin' wasn't it?" - Fez asked. Your body tensed a bit as you watched him. You remembered taking eight shots in a row like a pro, you knew that you kissed him right in the pool... But then it was a big black hole in your head.

"If you say so..." - You said quietly with a guessing tone because you really didn't know what happened.

"Nobody kissed me like that in ages." - Fez said in a muted tone which was perfectly matching him in your head at that moment. He had a privilege as well - your cheeks reddened in an instance. He sounded... Like he liked it. And all of it. - "So if ya wanna..." - He stopped himself for a second and laughed at himself. You smiled as well.

"To do something more?" - You asked impatiently, but he frowned and watched you with an unsure face.

"I was thinkin' more like a dinner or shit." - He answered after a prolonged moment. A little "aw" escaped your lips while you felt like a dummydumdum. He was trying to be romantic and now you looked like a thirsty bitch. All you needed was a few smacks in the cheeks. You completely lost yourself in your mind for a few minutes while Fez got both of you a cup of coffee, which made him continue in asking. - "But if ya more hook up chick, think I can handle that shit as well."

"Dinner and shit does sound great to me. I would love to go out with you." - You said hurriedly all of a sudden while he was still talking. When he heard you say that and as he watched you drinking the coffee he made for you, a flash of a bright smile shined through his face. But he was subtle in an instance again.

"Alrite. Make yourself at home, don't go to the back of the house, have some food or what do ya want, yo clothes are hanging there." - He pointed his fingers onto the radiator. - "And here's yo phone. Someone was hitting' it all fuckin' night. Yo better write them back. And if ya want, keep dat shirt. Not gonna need it." - He gave you it and seriously - there was a lot of missed calls and some texts.

"Gonna need to do some shit in the store. Leave whenever ya want, alrite? And hung a paper with yo number on the fridge so I can hit ya up too." - He put his mug on the counter and you would swear he was leaning into a quick cheek kiss, but then he leaned away from you.

So you sat down again, covering yourself in the blanket to feel warm, still sipping the coffee he made for you. It was Rue, it was Fran.

Big sista: Where yo ass at?

Big sista: We need 2 go. Where yo at?

Big sista: Ur freaking me the fuck out.

Big sista: Where the fuck are u. Come on. Call me.

Big sista: Alright. Gonna tell ma u stayed at Rues. Hope ur good.

So Fran was searching for you from midnight until one am. But you were nowhere to be found.

Morgan Freeman: Where yo lazy ass at, Jesus?

Morgan Freeman: Yo are a party wrecker. Where the hell yo at?

Morgan Freeman: Okay, Ash just turned in and said that Fez took u to his home.

Morgan Freeman: Hit me up where you're up.

Both of them were afraid of you when you have disappeared. You somehow found it so sweet you smiled to yourself. And so you turned in and texted to Rue that you're completely fine. Then you called Fran not to be worried about you, that you're good.

"Where the fuck were you?" - She yelled second after picking up the call. You put the phone a bit further from your ear and looked around you to inhale Fezco's own flat.

"I got a bit too friendly with some local vodka out there and passed out. A friend took me to his house. No big deal, Fran." - You huffed out and got some sugar to your coffee to make it sweeter. Fez's coffee was too bitter for you to handle.

"No big deal, shithead? Last time I remember, you were the more adult one of us. You're fuckin' seventeen." - Fran said angrily and you could feel that she wants to give you a punch to your nose as soon as you get near her. - "Listen to me, I saved yo ass. Ma thinks you're with Rue. Are ya with Rue?"

"I'm not with Rue, but you can trust me, this person is seriously cool. You two would get along." - You said calmly. Fran was making a big deal out of completely nothing. You only took a bit too much to drink. She was doing it all the time when she was your age.

"Okay. Okay. Imma calm down. I was just worried, shithead. Be safe. Alrite?" - She exhaled out loud and sent you a kiss through the phone. That was what you loved about her. Usually, she gave up and said that you're the smart one and that you know how to take care of yourself, she was able to say that she was doing the same things as you are doing.

"Yeah. I love you too." - You said quietly with a big smile and hung up the call. Not too long after that, the patrol slash cavalry arrived - Rue was knocking on the apartment door. She was dressed as always, in her own messy way, her hair was messy as hell and she looked tired. Only God knew what was her night out.

"Hey, you lil minx." - Rue said with a huge smile and gave you a big hug. She warm and she smelled nice with a slight touch of the alcohol lasting in her system from the last night.

"Hey, Morgan." - You whispered happily and let her in. She seemed to be well oriented in Fezco's apartment, again pouring her some coffee and taking some chips from one of the cabinets. Of course, her eyes didn't miss that you had someone's clothes on.

"Always thought that Fez has a nice wardrobe, but it looks even better on you. Ya startin' some collection?" - She sat next to you as you turned the TV on and you gave her an ironic look. - "Just kiddin', kiddo. But from the things I've fuckin' heard, you hit it off pretty well yesterday." - That look was somehow different. She looked happy for you two, she must've heard that you made out.

"Have seen Fez on the way in. He looked chill as if he had the best kush after a long fuckin' time, but I know that he has the same weed as always." - Rue playfully raised her eyebrows. That made your cheeks redden, Rue acknowledging that you made her friend's day better. That felt lovely. That felt good. And it made your day better as well.

"Are ya blushin'?" - She laughed and took your shoulder to your palm. - "Tell me everythin'. Tell me what Fez have said in the morning when he saw you?"

"He... Asked me out. He wants to go out with me. And it looks like he likes the way I kiss. I thought that he leaned to give me another one, but then he walked away." - An excited squeak escaped your lips. You were outta the place because of Fez. It felt like a start of something between you two.

"So Fezzy for himself a girl. And a nice one which I do like. You don't even know how lovely this is." - Rue leaned her head onto your shoulder and watched the TV with a dreamy look. You kissed her and then watched the TV as well.

You two left at two p.m. before you could even standstill on your own feet. A small paper hung on the fridge when you and Rue were leaving home with your number your sign with a small heart at the end. Without a word, she automatically set the course to your home and Rue was walking along with you.

"Hello. Enjoyed yourself last night?" - Your mom got up from her small garden, waving at the two of you, walking down the street.

"'t was good, Mrs. Y/L/N. We had fun, watched some Johnny Depp movies, we had a good time." - Rue's hand hung over your shoulder and she smiled.

"Looks like you had a long night, you two. Do you want some lunch?" - Your mum greeted Rue with a quick hug as you two walked inside. You immediately went to your bedroom and changed your clothes in order not to smell like weed. Then you went back to the dining room, where Rue was already sitting at the table and ate her spaghetti at a fast pace. Your plate of spaghetti was served on the table as well. You started to eat. 

When Rue looked at you, her look was somehow playful. She was glad. 

You and Fez were off to a good start.

[purplesurveys]

817

Does it make you nervous when someone does something dangerous showing off? If it’s something supposed to be taken seriously, like an athlete doing a risky ice skating spin, then I’d be nervous in that I don’t want them to fail. But if it’s someone doing something rather foolish like doing a moonsault off a roof or putting out a candle with their bare fingers, the mischievous side of me will silently half-wish something goes wrong haha. Have you ever had to take a pee test? You mean a urinalysis? Yeah. Angela’s doctor mom suspected I had UTI a few weeks ago so she had written up a recommendation for me to take a ‘pee test,’ as you put it. Have you ever had to supply someone with clean pee? I mean, I did for the aforementioned urinalysis lol. And what do you mean by clean pee? How is that different from dirty pee? Lmao Are you a bit of a nerd? Guh, I loved calling myself this is a teenager...because...y’know...I was a teenager and wanted to sound cool and ~not like the other girls~ lol but I was definitely trying too hard at the time. I don’t consider myself a nerd now and I don’t think I ever was. Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? Just my own dishes for the most part, but that’s it.

Are you good at HTML? At one point I was, because it was once a common practice on Tumblr to customize your themes, add your own pages, and basically just mix up your blog. I dunno if normal Tumblr still does this haha but if I tried to do this today I’d be rusty for sure. Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? Nope. I always feel like I’d get caught. Most interesting place you've ever visited? I’d say Shanghai was the most interesting mostly because it was SO incredibly first-world and the whole place was just so modern, so technologically forward and the experience was so jarring considering the dumpsite I live in. It was very daunting seeing all the bright lights, people dressing up so well, luxury shops on every corner, and how rich their nightlife was. Have you ever had anything tailored? Yes, my lola knows how to do that so whenever I need my clothes adjusted I’d just ask her to do it. Fan of Walton Ford artwork? Ever even heard of him? Nope, haven’t heard of him. Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? I never get my eyebrows done; I don’t find it necessary. They’re naturally on the thick side, but from years of trichotillomania and plucking my left eyebrows, the hair eventually never 100% came back and the end of that eyebrow has juuuust a bit of a bald patch on it. It’s only noticeable for those who know about my trich, but still. What color is your bedroom door? It’s brown, but the bottom part sports a lot of chipped-off paint due to my dog scratching on it to get in and out of my room for the last twelve years.   Do you value your personal space, or do you hate being alone? I value both since I tend to need either at different points. Have you ever been hunting? Never.  Your take on one-night stands? Are they okay? You do you, and it’s definitely okay. It’s just not my thing. Do you always wear a bra? Not when I’m at home. I for sure haven’t worn one in a while due to the pandemic forcing me to stay home, but I did wear a bra when I went to the hospital a couple of weeks ago. Felt so weird lol. Do you have a wrist watch? No. I always lose them under my watch (hehe) so I just stopped wearing them altogether so that I don’t keep wasting my parents’ money :/ Do you usually jog or go for walks? I’ll sometimes go for walks, but for leisure. I don’t think of them as workouts at all. Could you be happier? Yeah, I think this is how most of us, if not all of us, feel.

Don't you just love aerial views? Like...from airplanes? Yessss, I love them a lot. When my dad books flights for us I always call dibs on a window seat as I never get tired of seeing cities and towns from the sky. Do you own a pair of Dr. Martins? As far as I know it’s Martens, and no I don’t. I’ve always thought they were too chunky for my liking. Do you like wine? Hate it, I never liked its bitter taste. My girlfriend and some of my aunts love wine though so sometimes I’ll have a glass or two and pretend to like it so I can spend time with them haha. Do you scrapbook? Nope. We do have scrapbooks at home, but it was my mom who made all of them for mine and my siblings’ baby photos. Have you ever been told not to do something you desperately wanted to do? Of course. ^ did you listen? Not always. Why are the angry birds so mad at the pigs? ...I don’t care. I never played the game actually. Would you feel bad about breaking up with a kid on his birthday? Kid sounds weird in this sentence lol, and yeah I’d say that’s a pretty shitty thing to do. There are 365 days in a year and unless my significant other has been an abusive shithead, I’d pick a date other than their birthday to break up with them. Have you ever sung anyone the happy birthday song? On their birthday, I guess...? How many followers do you have on Twitter? At the moment, 722. Do you like Hello Kitty? Not really. Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? Not that I can recall. My sister has always been the one better at those than me, she wins something every time. Though there was one time I was at the arcade and was just fucking around with the claw machines until I saw a kimono-wearing Hello Kitty left behind in one of them; I figured someone won it but didn’t want it, so I gleefully took it and gave it to my sister who’s super into Hello Kitty AND anything Japanese haha. Is there an actual word for those? I call it the claw machine. Have you seen the movie Remember Me? I never have but I remember wanting to because Robert Pattinson is in it, heh. Do you like thunderstorms? Love them. I can see myself living somewhere where it rains all year round. Have you ever been horseback-riding? I’ve ridden a horse before but I don’t think it counts as horseback-riding? It was part of the itinerary on one of our trips to Tagaytay nearly a decade ago, and a skilled rider was maneuvering the horse for me. I was like 12 and didn’t know any better, but today I absolutely wouldn’t take part in some tourist attraction thing that would use and tire out animals. Have you ever seen your naked back? I’ve had to turn around and look at it in the mirror a few times because I have scoliosis and I had wanted to see the point where my back starts to curve. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Noooooo. I hate doing PDA myself so I’ll likely be sheepish at my own wedding actually, considering the fact that I wanna invite like 400 people lol. Do you think girls generally look better with their natural hair color? I don’t base attractiveness off of hair color, so I don’t really care. Who is the last person you held hands with? Gabie. Was ages ago though. Would you agree that wedding cake is so much better than any other cake? (: I mean, wedding cake isn’t even a type of cake lol. I think cheesecake is the superior cake, though. Do you feel awkward with strangers in elevators? Not at all. It’s a lot more awkward if I know the person but am not close with them or don’t know them all that well, so then I’d have to spend the next few seconds figuring out if I wanna make small talk or just ignore them altogether. Do you cuss excessively when you're upset? I can cuss excessively regardless of my mood. I don’t do it as much as I did when I was a teenager, but my potty mouth will still slip out every now and then. Would you rather cheat and tell your other about it or be cheated on? Eugh, this is an awful question. Can we just go with no cheating? Do you own a pair of shorts that could be mistaken for underwear? I don’t think so. Have you ever felt free after losing something once important to you? Yeah, I was recently reading my old survey answers from 2015 when my breakup was fresh, and apparently I was a super happy camper who felt free as fuck when Gab and I had broken things off so I guess that’s one example lol. Have you ever been to a rave? Nope, no raves for me. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? I’ve only eaten a whole banana once my whole life and that was a few weeks ago when I had a fever. Mom said it’ll be good for my body so I was made to eat one for breakfast. It wasn’t all that bad, but it will still take a whole lot for me to have to eat another banana. Have you ever felt like you can burn the world down? I’ve never been that angry before, no. Can you read/speak in any language(s) other than English? Yuh, Filipino is my first language.

Have you ever had sex outside? I’ve had it outside but we were still hidden, like inside a car lol if that still counts. Have you ever been outside naked? ^ Same situation. Do you like guys with long, brown, shaggy, flippy hair? If it looks majestically taken care of, yep. Do you have a beauty mark? I don’t. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No. I’ve been terrified of them ever since watching The Shining, and I don’t think I’ll ever be up to entering one since I hate getting lost. Do you think you're the best thing that's happened to someone? I dunno. I don’t really need this big of a validation, so it’s genuinely fine if no one thinks of me in this way. Is the best thing that's ever happened to you a person? Yes, but also a dog. What's your boyfriend's style, or what style tends to attract you? I’ve observed that Gab jumps from one style to another. Some days she’ll dress like a sophisticated aunt and wear nice flowy dresses, other days she’ll opt to look a bit tomboyish and wear a graphic or tie-dye t-shirt and jeans. Do you know anyone who works in a cafe? Yeah, my cousin Bia. How many songs do you think you know all of the lyrics do? Hundreds is a safe guess. Do you enjoy jazz or blues music? I enjoy both, but I like jazz a tad bit more.

What's the most emotionally painful thing you've ever been through? Finding out about Nacho. My grandpa’s death hurt as hell too, but back then I had no choice but to harden up and force myself to be ok and focus because I had an insanely important college entrance exam coming up five days after his passing, and I couldn’t afford to get distracted. With the news of Nacho, I was doing nothing that night and I was completely vulnerable when it hit me. How many band t-shirts do you own that are black? I only have one band t-shirt, and it’s black. Can you make a clover shape with your tongue? Nope. Would you agree that Beck is a musical genius? (: Beyoncé lost to him for Album of the Year at the Grammys for her 2013 album which she highkey should’ve won, so he’s kinda on my shitlist for that looooool Do you ever feel like the main people in your life don't know you at all? No. I wear my heart on my sleeve for the most part, so I don’t have to worry about that. Do you like Ben Folds? I’ve never heard of him. Do you watch The Voice? Nope. Do you have a protective father? To an extent. He hates catcallers and always tells me to tell him if there are any around when we’re out so he can beat them up. He’s not crazy protective to the point of being possessive or overly strict though. Have you ever worn a headdress? Just for school productions when we would represent cultures that have headdresses.

Last thing that caused you to get sick? A UTI. What's the biggest misconception about you, personally? It annoys me to no goddamn end when people say or assume that I’m fake. It’s called being polite and civil even around people I don’t like which I’m pretty sure is more mature than fake, dude. Have you ever seriously thought you loved someone without telling them? No. Are you squeamish? About certain things. I hate watching clips of people having their bones break or get dislocated, people passing out, too much blood, among other stuff.

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom ch.3

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

    She sets her mostly empty drink down on the counter, and turns to look at you when Bismuth walks over again, stealing her gaze right back.

“That was nice, Spinel. I think that was my favorite song of yours yet.” She says to her. “You want another round?”

“Aw jeez, thanks I guess, Bis.” Spinel says sheepishly. “And yeah, I think I’ll need it tonight.”

    You pretend that nothing weird has ever happened to you at all in your life, and down the rest of your drink. You want like, 5 more of these and then you'll be able to deal with this.

Y/N: Yeah. I remember the night. She's also sitting right next to me. Uh.

Alex: for real

Y/N: I might be internally having a panic attack.

    Bismuth pours Spinel her drink, and she sighs. "It's just, today was kind of rough. Blue called and wanted to apologize for things that she doesn't need to be apologizing about, and I kind of wish they'd calm down a little and let me exist in peace."

    Bismuth nods. "Steven has talked a lot about them. They seem really difficult to be around, if I'm going to be honest. They don't quite get.. real people problems."

"You have no idea." She replies, and takes a long drink. “They don’t even understand privacy. I couldn’t do anything without them basically following me everywhere. It was stifling.”

“Seriously, I’m not sure what I expected from the Diamonds, but if you told me that 5000 years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you at all.” Bismuth says, “I’m just glad you have some much needed breathing room.”

“It was long overdue. Several months in their presence was more than enough.”

    Bismuth gives Spinel a tired smile, and turns to you.

“How are you holdin up there, Y/N?” She hands you another drink. “You’ve only been here 25 minutes or so, and you’re on your 3rd already. That kinda night?”

“Err, just in the mood I guess.” You reply and laugh. You weren’t trying to eavesdrop. Bismuth turns away to a couple of other patrons and busies herself making a few mixed drinks for them.

        Alex: dude kick her for almost killing ur dad

    Y/N: What, and get myself killed? Fuck no.

    Alex: ur a pussy

    Harper: did she say anything about you taking a pic?

    Y/N: No! Please don’t curse me.

“You know, if you wanted a pic so bad of myself, you could’ve asked.”  Spinel says, turning to face you directly. You stare at your phone and can feel your face heating up for being called out. You can feel your mouth working way faster than your brain can even comprehend.

“My friends are shitheads and didn’t believe me when I said I saw someone cute on stage.” You say, and immediately shut your mouth. If you could sink into the floor right now and disappear forever, that would be great. God doesn’t grant you this though, and you curse him for it. “I mean.. I’m sorry. That was rude of me to do without your permission.” She grins. 

“Ya know, I didn’t actually see who did it, I just saw the general direction of the flash and walked towards it, and happened to find an empty seat next to someone looking fairly nervous.” She laughs. “Way to out yourself there.”

    You look at her. Fucking goddammit. “I seem to be doing a lot of that today. Ughhhhh.” You drag your hand down your face in dramatic fashion, and take a drink. You’re starting to feel the alcohol slowly take a small bit of effect. “Song was nice by the way.”

“Oh, thanks.” She looks a bit surprised, like she’s not used to compliments. Hm. 

“I’m not so musically talented myself, but uh. I can make some mean enchiladas. AND I can make a calculator spell the word “boobs”.” You say, like it’s somehow impressive.

“What’s an enchilada?” Spinel looks at you suspiciously. Oh right. Gem. 

“It’s.. food. Hold on.” You say and pull up an internet browser to google the definition of enchiladas so you can show her a pic. You see the group chat go off a couple times and keep swiping away your friend’s rapid texts, knowing that they’re asking you too many questions right now and you’re determined to show this alien one of your favorite foods. Tonight sure is a weird night. You find a good pic of enchiladas, and turn your phone towards her. “See? Tortilla, cheese, meat. Great stuff. You can even change some of the ingredients and make them a couple different ways. All pretty good if I do say so myself.” You say as she looks at it, and you can see your phone chime with another message notification. You pull your phone away quickly before she has any chance to see whatever the fuck your friends are talking about.

“Humans are strange.” She replies, a pondering look on her face. She takes another drink and sets the glass down gently, keeping her hand lightly on the glass. You notice her fingernails are short and clean. You wonder if they grow like human nails? You wonder how similar gems are to humans in general. “You guys have to eat to survive? And you all grow so much all the time, and you’re constantly changing. You can’t even grow limbs back, or shapeshift. What’s the point?”

“The point?” You laugh. “I mean, science IS advancing and we can grow organs from plants, in a lab. Can’t grow limbs back.. yet. I can’t exactly change being human. Besides, you gems as a race don’t exactly look like you have any fun at all. Being human is all about having new experiences.” You say.

“Well, maybe I’m having fun now.” She says, tapping the rim of her glass. You kind of look at her for a second. She seems to be tapping her left foot on the side of the stool, maybe kind of nervously? Her hair is up in a ponytail, and she's pushing some of the fringe behind her ear. She’s cute, you think to yourself. 

“Oh?” You say as you smile slyly into your drink. You think you see her blush a bit.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Last time wasn’t so nice. Some guy tried punching me, he was drunk and recognized me from the earth attack last year. Bismuth had to kick him out.” She says stiffly, and takes a drink. “I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

“My dad almost died.” You say. She winces.

“I am really sorry. I do regret how I dealt with my entire situation.. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it." She sighs. "I’m just glad no one actually died. And thanks for not cursing me out, for all of this."

"He's hard to kill, anyway." 

"What?" She says, staring at you incredulously. 

"My dad. He's done so many stupid, dangerous things that I remember from my childhood. He must have some kind of divine blessing, because even when he fought that gator off grandpa's porch, he came out without a scratch. And that was one really pissed off gator." You say. Spinel laughs heartily. She's actually really cute when she laughs, and you can't help staring for a second. “There was also that one time this guy attempted to rob us at a gas station, and he took the bastard down with the unopened energy drink from his cup holder. You wanna know what he had to complain about afterwards? That he had to now go buy another energy drink. That’s my fucking dad, I guess.”

“Your life sounds interesting.” She says in reply.  “I can tell that you love him though.”

“Yeah. He’s kind of my entire life. He’s all I have left of my family.” You say, smiling. “He’s a good dad. He tries his best.” You hear your phone chime a couple more times, and roll your eyes. They’re so fucking needy. “My friends are extremely obnoxious, and must know what I’m doing at all times. You have anyone like that in your life? Because I could pawn off Alex on you if you want.” You grab your phone and open up your group chat to see what they’re talking about. There’s quite a few missed messages.

    Harper: she hasn’t said shit in a while and i’m kinda worried.

    Harper: what if she got kidnapped. D:

    Alex: shes probs in the middle of a bar fight tbh

    Alex: im pretty sure that alien started it or something

    Alex: she was probs all like “im gonna kill ur planet now and finish u all off!!”

    Alex: and Y/N was like “not on my watch BITCH” and decks her

    Alex: the whole bar claps

    Harper: shut up it’s been like 10 mins and she hasn’t said anything and i’m nervous.

“I have a few people who I’d call friends here. Bismuth, Lapis, Amethyst.. Steven. I kind of feel like I’m bothering them when I’m around, in general..” She says, swirling the drink around in her glass. She regards it, lifts to her lips, and takes a drink. “Steven sometimes asks how I’m doing.. I know he cares. I have a hard time letting myself be honest with him. Cause.. you know. He’d try to solve all my problems. And I try to deal with them on my own.”

Y/N: I'm not dead. We're talking. She's nice.

Alex: wow are all genocidal maniacs nice i wonder

Harper: TALKING. YOU'RE TALKING TO HER

Y/N: YES WE'RE TALKING.

Y/N: She even apologized about my dad, and the entire shebang, really. 

Y/N: She's nice conversation, anyway.

Harper: whoa she apologised?

Alex: youve got to be kidding me rn

Alex: lemme just go revive gengis khan so we can have a nice chat over tea

Alex: this is absolutely nuts why am i the only sane one here

Alex: im gonna go fucking feral 

"It's such a Steven thing to do, too. You should've seen how he was when he found out about my mother." You laugh, and set your phone down on the counter. "He literally tried to go out and find her. He's such a sweet kid, but I had to break it to him that even if I knew where she was, I didn't want to see her."

    Off to your left side, you feel someone approach you at the bar. You turn your face to see who it is. It's a man who looks a decade older than you are, and you've never seen him before. He nods to regard you. 

"Can I get you a drink, beautiful? You look absolutely lovely." He says, leaning in slightly.

"Thank you, but I'm alright." You put in your best polite, but fuck off smile. 

"You're just going to say no without even considering it?" He smiles, and you hate it. He's giving you terrible vibes and it's making you uneasy.

"I said I'm good." 

"Yeah bu-" He starts, but Spinel cuts him off.

"She says she's good, pal. Leave the dame alone." She crossed her arms over her chest, and glares at him. 

"Damn fine, stuck up bitch. Didn't want to talk to you anyway." He spews, and leaves to the other side of the bar. Thank god, you think to yourself.

"Thank you for that." You say to her, seriously relieved. "Fucker needs to learn how to take no for an answer." 

“Yeah, well. No one harasses a girl on my watch.” She regards you carefully. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“No?” You lift an eyebrow in response.

“What happened with your mother?” She says, grabbing for her drink and taking a sip.

“Oh. Um,” You’re a bit surprised that she seems to genuinely care. You’ve known her for all of like.. a half hour. “She left when I was 5. Just had enough of dad and I, I suppose. Dad says it just came out of nowhere, and he has no idea what happened. We were a happy family, and then one day after dinner, she went into their room, packed some things in a single bag, and left.” You pause to take kind of a long drink. “And no one knows where she went. It’s been 17 years. Not a single word. It actually really fucked me up for years. I felt abandoned and absolutely worthless. How could you raise a child for 5 years, and just fucking bounce? Like, did she read a manual on how to fuck up your kid and give them emotional problems for the rest of their life? God, what a fucking bitch. I can’t even IMAGINE doing that to a kid.”

    Spinel is staring at you with wide, shocked eyes.

“Eventually I ended up gaining some friends that helped me get over it, for the most part. They’re stupid and I love them. And if they ever found my mother, they would murder her in a heartbeat.” You say, chuckling. Spinel is still staring at you. “Are you okay? You ask. 

“I’m fine, it’s just.. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone like me.” You watch her fiddle with her fingers. She moves slightly, and you see her shirt open, heart gem glimmering in the low lighting. You don’t want to be caught staring at it, like a crow to a shiny object. (You want to touch it. You want to touch it bad. Is it warm? Is it cold? Is it smooth? You need to know.) “I also had a very important person abandon me. The MOST important person to me, actually. For uh.. 6000 years.” You look up and your eyes make contact with hers.

“What.” You say. “6000 years.”

“Yeah.. It’s kind of embarrassing now, though.” She shrugs. “But it was terrible, and now I’m here. I’ll never get closure the way I want from Pink Diamond, because she’s gone forever. Anyway,” You kind of want to hug her. “I’ve been surviving, and I think I’m doing okay.” She smiles slightly. Bismuth is suddenly in front of the two of you.

“I saw some commotion all the way from the other side. That guy bother you? Want me to deal with him?” She says, all while refilling Spinel’s drink without even asking.

“Nah, he fucked right out of here when Spinel told him off.” You say, and finish the rest of your cider. Blegh. Warm.

“Is that so?” Bismuth say, grinning. She’s pointedly looking at Spinel. Spinel is giving Bismuth a dirty look. Oh my, what is going on there? You feel your bladder cursing up a storm inside you.

“Bismuth, I’d like another beer please.” You slowly get up on sleepy, wobbly legs. “And I’ll be right back, gotta pee.” You turn and look at Spinel, who looks back. “Guard my purse.”

“Cannnn do.” She says while taking another drink.

    You make your way slowly over to the bathroom that was actually just 15ft away from you, and go over to one of the stalls and plop down onto the toilet, pulling out your phone to look at group chat. 

    Harper: so my brother got catfished again

    Alex: LMFAO

    Harper: how many times is this? 4? for fucks sake

    Harper: he’s 29. you’d think he’d have his shit together by now, but noooo.

    Alex: that is honestly the saddest thing ive heard

    Alex: wins most pathetic man of the month

    Y/N: oof.

    Y/N: Yeah that’s just sad.

    Alex: Y/NNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

    Alex: how are yoooouuuu

    Y/N: I’m fine. I’m having a nice time.

    Harper: you still hangin with the not-evil-now alien? :p

    You choose to reply later, and instead finish your business in the stall. You come out and wash your hands, making sure you wash them thoroughly. You never know what kind of germs are in bar bathrooms. You’re drying your hands when you hear the bathroom door open, and someone is walking in. You turn to look, and it’s a familiar figure. A man. 

The man from earlier.

[priyakapoor]

{ALIA BHATT; CISFEMALE; BISEXUAL} Look who it is, PRIYA KAPOOR! The THIRD CHILD of PARVATI PATIL and RAHUL KAPOOR. She is a SIXTH YEAR GRYFFINDOR, who is a part of THE SECOND DUMBLEDORE’S ARMY. Some describe her as ANIMATED, but she has also been called RECKLESS.

Family 

Priya Kapoor is the daughter of Parvati Patil and a halfblood named Rahul Kapoor! Her relationship with her mother is alright, but her relationship with her father gets increasingly more tense as she gets older, with him pressuring her to get her act together, and Priya adamantly not doing that.

She has two older siblings and a twin sister! They all have backstories but at the moment they are unimportant. All you have to know is that her elder sister hates her and is one badass bitch with some backwards ideas, her older brother is a mediator, and her twin sister has largely grown up with family outside of England (or at least, this is how it has worked out in the past when I’ve written her before!)

Pets

She has a cat named Dr. Memersworth, Memes for short. Yes I will defend this.

More that I didn’t feel like categorizing

She’s a Gryffindor in every sense. You know how you have people who’re in one house but could definitely be in a different one? That’s not her. She’s Gryffindor as far as you could throw her.

Priya is incredibly outgoing, but she’s also quite alright being on her own. 

she’s bi as hell! Pretty open about it, but closeted to her family. That’s a can of worms I wont open... Yet.

Has a history of pranks, usually good natured and not too harmful

Priya is really outspoken in the way that she’s quite strong in her beliefs and she’s not afraid to stand up for herself or her friends. Which, speaking of, Priya is fiercely loyal to the friends she considers family. 

She’s very opinionated and stubborn and aggressive, and definitely a competitive person. She may be small but she is mighty dammit and she won’t take yOUR SHIT. I mean, she’s a beater for pete’s sake, she has to be. She’s got a very strong sense of justice as well, which she definitely gets from her mother.

She’s with the second Dumbledore army, and although the idea of a war scares her terribly, she knows where she stands and she isn’t afraid to fight for that.

She’s not someone who really shares her own emotional issues unless she’s close with someone, and she could come off as quite emotionally distant sometimes. She does care deeply, but she’s not the most in touch with her own emotions. 

Priya isn’t the most feminine person at this point in her life. She’s kind of riding on the coattails of her androgynous teen years (she was too caught up in quidditch to care, and now, while that is still certainly her focus, she’s getting older and her priorities are growing with her.) She’s mostly a t-shirt and jeans kind of gal, pretty basic.

Quidditch is a HUGE part of her life. For reasons explained in the following point, Priya believes that quidditch is the only thing she’s really good at. It’s her biggest passion despite her family not really approving of it. (Speaking of her family- it’s pretty dysfunctional)

When it comes to education, Priya struggles terribly. Priya has ADHD, primarily inattentive type. But she doesn’t know it explicitly. This affects her education terribly. It’s the whole shebang. Infodumps, memory loss, excessive talking, reminiscing a lot (this is real I attest to it) along with the attention issues, inability to process certain types of information at the same rate others can, anxiety, poor concept of time, hyperfocus, and a lot more. But as I said, she doesn’t quite know this. Priya just thinks she’s stupid. She’s always been told she’s just being lazy or that she’s just not smart enough, which isn’t the case at all! 

She’s highkey stressed all of the time, but largely covers it up with jokes and what not.

So there she is! Not in her entirety, but a fair bit of her! 

Possible connections

best friends since they started at Hogwarts (ie. shithead no.1 and no.2) THIS IS PETER NOW

More shitheads!

quidditch friends or foes, it’s all fun! she gets so competitive!

An ex boyfriend or girlfriend! I’d love for someone to have just made her feel like shit in the past, as awful as that may sound. But that doesn’t have to be the case.

people who she knows through her family (that could potentially be a not positive situation, as she has many things her family does not know and she would prefer they never catch wind of)

uhhh it’s super late and nearing my bedtime I’m dead but I’d love anything please lets plot 

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch Episode 26 “Time to Pick some Names”

mysterylover123

We return to normal school stuff with a fun little episode, packed with some ominous foreshadowing.

Seeing Izuku getting hounded like this just makes me wonder what kinda attention the other kids get. Especially Bakugo.

This draft picks do make me wanna call bullshit a little though. Like, I get why Deku isn’t up there. But why is Kaminari, who got taken out in seconds, in 5th, and Ashido, who made it into the second round and has a very popular and easily demonstrative quirk and look, not up there at all?!

This episode is really shippy, you guys. Todomomo here. Look at how she looks at him. She likes him. Convince me otherwise.

Iidaraka making an appearance too! Aw, lookit her shaking him!

Why is Midnight the chooser of names, BTW? She appears to have bad taste in names, despite her own decent Hero name, so what gives her the right?

Baby Aizawa and Present Mic! Seriously, Mic should’ve been the one presiding over Hero Names! He gave Aizawa a great one and has one of his own! Seriously, it could’ve been perfect!

Aww someone’s nervous!  (edit: this screencap didn’t quite grab the right moment. Basically, Bakugou looks endearingly nervous in this shot.)

So my thoughts on the names:

Aoyama needs to change his. cantstoptwinkling is too long and unwieldy to be a Hero Name and it sounds ridiculous (he says it in English so I know it isn’t just some weird translation).

This was perfect. Screw you Midnight. Alien Queen should’ve been Ashido’s name.

This one’s nice. People do call her Froppy sometimes. I like too how this beat is played: The first two names make everyone nervous, and Tsu puts them at ease. That seems to be her role in Class 1-A: to help people deal with crisis situations and stress.

Red Riot is another winner. Being derived from another famous name is not a problem; it’s a comic book tradition. Though this does bring up that pesky Imitation theme once more. Kiri wants to be just like Crimson, and that concept gets explored in more depth in the Internship Arc. It makes me wonder if Kiri should switch names to symbolize throwing off that role, or if he should stick with it to symbolize the good Crimson brings to him.

Izuku himself notices the similarities between Kiri’s name and his own fixation with All Might for me so I don’t have to explain it.

Now we are met with the CUTEST FUCKING IMAGE EVER COMMITTED TO SCREEN OR PAPER. DEKU YOU ARE TOO PRECIOUS.

Now some snarky Kamijirou content! Someone’s a little bitter about Kaminari getting more draft picks than her, aren’t you? Actually, I feel like there are some similarities between Kamijirou and BKDK - both pairs argue a lot, yet seem to share an odd connection. The diff may be that while Jiro is more like Midoriya in terms of power and personality (she even takes obsessive notes like he does), she’s the one who antagonizes Kaminari. He’s more Kacchan-like, perhaps why he’s friends with the guy, more born-powerful and cocky, but he’s the one who gets messed with. I dunno, interesting connection. 

Probably the coolest sounding of the names that are just ‘my quirk’. Jiro can stick with this one.

Kinda generic but hey, it’s better than Jamming-yay.

Also kinda generic, maybe something that sounds cooler in Japanese, I’m guessing?

Not half bad, but it doesn’t really sound like a hero name.

This one’s a bit generic, but darn it all if it doesn’t sound like a name you’d find in superhero comics.

Ditto.

Triple ditto. Actually a name in Superhero comics. 

This one’s terrible. Mina deserved better.

Hmm...Momo...this isn’t terrible, per se, but I still think Yaoyorozu could have a cooler one.

LOL. Also sad: by rejecting his surname and choosing only his given name, Shoto makes a statement. An “I don’t want to be like my dad” statement.

Good I guess? I do kinda know about this one from reading Naruto. It’s a thing in Japanese that I will probably not get well as a dumb American.

Though to be a smart American for a second: Anima...it sounds like he’s talking about that Joseph Campbell theme on anima/animus, male/female, hero with a thousand faces (Just kidding, it’s short for Animal.)

HAHAHAHA OH KACCHAN YOU ECCENTRIC SHITHEAD. Actually, this one is a pretty clever play on his surname in the original Japanese, “Bakusatsuo”. Someone really likes playing on kanji meaning (Deku), doesn’t he? King Explosion Murder is too long and unwieldy, but I think just “King Explosion” or some similar pun could’ve actually worked fine. Just take out the murder part, dumbass.

My favorite one. Meaning: Her surname, her desire to support her parents. Instantly conveys who she is, what kind of hero she wants to be. Perfect.

OMG IIDA FEELS. This plays into his arc in the next story arc, actually. Iida feels he can’t take the name Ingenium until he has done with Tensei couldn’t: kill Stain. And that is why he’s so fixated on revenge. 

And finally DEKU. Which is, yeah, what we call him...it does sound a little odd as a superhero name, though. This is an Izuocha moment I actually, like, BTW. Just nice wholesome friendship. No weird obsessions or comparisons with serial killers. 

Speaking of Uraraka. The Gunhead Agency! You gotta love that Wonder Duo and how they influence people, huh? One fight with Bakugou and she’s all signed up to go be a DBZ fighter. Also, I can see why Kacchako fans are into that. One of Ochaco’s biggest character shifts, and he inspires it. I can dig.

The #1 hero everybody! Hori does try to give a plausible excuse for why All Might forgot to mention Gran among the People Who Know list...then doesn’t bother with it at all when Nighteye comes up. Ah well. I honestly kinda just want the List of People who Know to keep expanding to comedic levels. “Oh and this is my old exgirlfriend who also knows! And this villain! And this random guy! And maybe your mom!”

Speaking of moms, I’m sure Aizawa officially transforms into Class 1-A’s when he tells Ashido not to slur her words. 

The shipper in me wants to gush about how Izuku and Ochaco went to worry about Iida (Iidaraka!) but more sincerely, I want to quickly comment about how well BNHA handles the Power of Friendship. This trope can be so irritating when done poorly, but the friendship in Hero Aca is actually, in my opinion, really realistic. And the power of it is mainly showcased by how friends can simply support and be there for each other, rather than Friendship is the Allmighty Power of the Universe all Will Bow Down Before it. (And also it’s a thing villains can have! And a thing that can fall apart and be unpleasant!)

ANGRY IIDA!

So yeah I really enjoy this episode. It’s not especially deep or heartbreaking (ASIDE FROM TENSEI!!!!) but it’s an enjoyable watch. I’ve actually watched this one a lot because it’s light and fun and something of a one-off. I wouldn’t claim it’s the Best of HeroAca or anything, but It’s an enjoyable ride. Of course, can’t say I’m not more excited to get to next episode. As a big Deku fan(girl), I can tell you my reactions to that one will be something.

BKDK CORNER

Guess who gets paralleled with Izuku’s love interest once again? Seriously, there are a lot of odd, ongoing parallels between Bakugou and Uraraka with their relationships to Izuku, and I’m not sure why if not for subtext. (I want Bakugo’s Ultimate Hero Name to be a play on his first name too. So both members of Wonder Duo have First Name Puns). The OT3 is strong in this one.

My Deku sense is tingling.

BEST GIRL OF THE EPISODE: Iida Mom! (she only appeared last ep but sh)

RANKER: Class 1-A’s Hero Names

21. Pinky

20. Cantstoptwinkling

19. Creati

18. Tenya

17. Shoto

16. Cellophane

15. Deku

14. Bakusatsuo

13. Tentacole

12. Anima

11. Sugarman

10. Chargebolt

9. Invisible Girl

8. Tailman

7. Alien Queen

6. Earphone Jack

5. Tsukoyomi

4. Froppy

3. Red Riot

2. Ingenium 

1. Uravity! (Congratulations Ochaco, you were the MPV of this ep)

[wingsporkhalo]

He’s Mine: A BakuDeku Fic Spork- Chapter 2

Here I am with chapter 2 of this mess!! For those of you who are new, I read a terrible My Hero Academia fanfiction and made funny commentary on it with some good buddies. Chapter 1 is here! https://wingsporkhalo.tumblr.com/post/190957730961/hes-mine-a-bakudeku-fic-spork-chapter-1

Support me on Patreon! I am poor!! https://www.patreon.com/WingSongHalo And check out my YouTube channel, where you can see video sporks!! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTMFf7W6SyWoZdpqY9ZdPw/

Last time, the story started in the middle of an inexplicable fight, Izuku gave Shoto his phone number and had multiple houses, and Katsuki told Izuku he doesn’t want Izuku to call anyone by their first name but him! Because being controlling is romantic, right?? (Sarcasm.)

In today’s chapter, Katsuki attempts to confess his “love,” Izuku is forced to dress as a girl, Shoto kidnaps Izuku, I rant about people uke-fying my favorite characters, and Kirishima offers some terrible advice!

Special thanks to my dear friends @the-wizard-l​, @kittykatz009​, @satsuneade​, and Phos for co-commentating!

Without further ado, let’s move ahead to Chapter 2!

My friend Phos: It’s reviewing the same stuff!!! What?? Me: but Phos!! This time it's in a different Point of View, though you'd never know that from the lack of detail!!

Um what am I doing here .

[sigh] I ask myself that every day, sonny

Why dose? Uh, because it keeps you from taking too much medication?

Why dose my chest feel weird when I see deku with half'n'half.

Uhhh... maybe you know he's lactose intolerant and you're concerned for him as a friend? ....naaahhh

Phos: “Damed nerd” Me: I mean, from what i know of Bakugou's character, he always instantly regrets talking to Izuku Why would he be stuttering in his own head??! Also, what the fuck is damhed? Is it like being a shithead, but less profane?? Disided. Uhhhh... I guess that's when... something has two sides? I guess??

After I payed for the thing I wanted,

God this detail!! I'm so moved!!

Why was Izuku just running around? Was he late? I thought you were 10 minutes early?

I catched up to him

Sure. With your umbrella? Were you using it to travel like fucking Mary Poppins??

“Ahh” he said falling on the wet ground

I love how unemotional that is.

"DEKU HEAR" --the sound of me being completely out of character? Oh yes. I hear it

Wh--? What bottom of his uniform was he grabbing? I??? I hope you mean like the edge of the blazer?? My friend Jaz: Bottom of his shoes Phos: Bottom of the uniform might mean bottom of the pant leg— Oh Me: I mean, valid interpretations all of them, but it really sounds like he's grabbing ass if you just say "the bottom of his uniform" because that's... where the bottom is... moving on.

I don't get it. Has Bakugou supposedly found Izuku's stare cute this whole time, or is this a recent thing? It's so outside the realm of possibility that it's not computing

We walked to school together.

Oh my, how exciting! I wondered what was going to happen next!! And you told it so efficiently, with as few words as possible! Bravo!!

So like, WERE you getting closer or did it just FEEL like you were?

I feel like if their faces ever touched, reality would just collapse in on itself because the laws of nature would be violated

(either that or it would have to be a "one of them literally fell from a great distance onto the other one" situation)

(Which I guess isn't too far fetched since they get thrown around a lot)

Again the damh nerd is here.

Did I say something wrong?

SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU EVER CARED???

Ohhhhkay I'm just. So confused. WHY is Bakugou suddenly aware of his "feelings," WHY is he suddenly so much nicer, and WHY is he just deciding all of a sudden to confess his love?? That's the kind of thing you WRESTLE with, if you accidentally fall in love with the dude you've hated for like 11 of your 15 years of life!! My friend Wiz, evidently affected by the reality-warping powers of this fic: jhwbebhjfewjhbwfjh

Uh why did he have to come at a time like this.

B... because the bell is going to ring?...

Wow, I wish I could communicate entire sentences with just my face. Seems like a useful talent. Maybe that guy in class 1-B with the speech bubble for a head would be best at that

"Kacchan here" Why yes, he is here. Not sure why the sudden caveman-speak, though

Then half'n'half went of with my deku

[sits there staring at nothing for 5 seconds] [shakes self] Sorry I was just reeling at the sheer ridiculousness of everything about that sentence

I felt kind of bad leaving kacchan behind.

Then it just transitions to the next scene because fuck internal monologue I guess Jaz: When did he become Your Deku? Me: THEIR TEACHER NEVER SHOWED UP??? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO AIZAWA??? Also, wouldn't it naturally fall to Iida to take over and decide their next course of action, as class rep? Why are the girls all hijacking the class??? Jaz: They hogtied Iida, of course Me: They're putting their names on a stick... oh god... tHEY'RE ORGANIZING A DEATH TOURNAMENT "Deku come with me" "I'd love to but that's not the pairing of this fic" Jaz: Dhdududidifhf

I love how Izuku has no agency in this fic; he just goes with whoever and does whatever, helpless against the whims of those around him. And by love, I mean hate. I fucking hate that.

Uh *sigh*

Wow that's a mood. Jaz: Wtf is even going on Me: lskjdlkksjdf Not that Izuku wouldn't dress up as a girl if someone told him to, but I think he'd usually at least like a reason for it "Izuku the All Might Cheer Squad is missing a member; could you sub in?" "[throws everything off his desk and stands up at once] I've been waiting for this moment" My friend Satsu, just arriving: Finally caught up and I'm CACKLING Me: Somebody get Ochaco to Recovery Girl!! She's taken a blow to the face and there is BLEEDING aH THANK U SATSU <3 Satsu: HI MOM, ((note: my server calls me Mom. LOL)) lol this is so bad 😂 😂 Wiz: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE JHBDJBH Me: Honestly, I think Izuku would be dreadfully embarrassed if everyone stared at him no matter WHAT he was wearing Satsu: Yeah but like, why uraraka suddenly dressed him like that??? What is the thinking process that that would be okay in the school omg Me: “Why would you do this to me uraraka-san“ Wiz: I’m crying Me: "Look, it was in my contract that I had to appear in 50 badfics a week. I'm sorry, Deku" "[hangs his head] No that's fair"

Satsu, didn't you know?? This is just what happens when the teacher doesn't show up Satsu: Aw damn, if I knew ;-;

Wiz: I am. So confused wjhbfe Satsu: They all ran of Me: he stoped, but I can't.

Then I ran of

It was a run of girlishness and embarrassment, I'm guessing. Did they all say the slashes, or? Jaz: Did Todoroki just kidnap Deku? Wiz: These things happen Satsu: Oh dear, the last sentence My eyes Me:

Izuku ran of

--Shame and frilliness--

Mabey we went to far

"Sorry, I can't go with you this weekend. Mah bae and I are going to far." "To where?" "Far. It's this restaurant across town" Wiz: jhwbewehbj Me: What the--why was Izuku running for his life? WHAT DID HE DO Shoto: [pushes Izuku] Izuku: thank you! Shoto: uh... s-sure... should I be concerned that you just thanked me for shoving you Izuku: Probably! Wiz: MOOD Satsu: Kdbdkdbfkjf Me: What the--why's Shoto rubbing Izuku's head? Is it a good luck ritual or has Izuku turned into a puppy? Wait, no, he still has hands. I'M CONFUSED Phos: I still don’t understand the dress and wig.Well, girls uniform. Satsu: You’re not alone with that lol Me: Look, sometimes ya see an adorable messy-haired befreckled shonen protagonist and ur just overwhelmed with the desire to see him in drag....... I guess? Phos: I mean Yeah that sounds exactly like what this fic is doing Me: It sounds to me like they wanted to write moments where Shoto and Katsuki would get to interact with Izuku while he's a delicate, soft little maiden [rolls eyes] Wiz: :’)) Me: STOP UKE-FYING MY IZUKU, YOU FETISHIST Satsu: They always do that to my dear main characters :( Me: Me pulling these badfic authors up by their collar: listen here you yaoi sluts... my son Izuku is more manly than 90 other shonen protagonists put together... Jaz: Omggggg WING Phos: "yaoi sluts" I will never have a chance to use that and man I’m upset about that Satsu: Heck yeah! Me: LSJKFLKSDJ PHOS Satsu: MOOD Phos: I’m not in a lot of fandoms where yaoi is the norm in badfic! Me: Really? It kind of seems like it's the norm in every fandom nowadays. Look I love a lot of slash pairings, but yaoi I have a problem with. Yaoi is fetishization, yaoi is semes and ukes and one of them has to be "the girl" essentially and it's gross Phos: Agreed! Me: ANYWHO [steps off my soapbox] Wiz, a bit behind on the messages: YAOI SLUTS JHBFJHF

No body saw him, but several pairs of eyes did. Three of them were Shoji's. Wiz: Wing I love you Me:

Something told me he went out side

Was the something lazy writing? I LOVE U TOO WIZ <3 <3 <3 Satsu: It's cracking me uo that it says "Bakago P. O. V" Me: Does... does this person honestly think that's how you spell "damn"? I... wh? The kinds of mistakes this person is making are not really things I see from people who speak English as a second language--tenses are more or less usually correct, etc--so I'm just. How. How do you get it wrong that many times

"Ahh" I heard someone screaming

Really? Cuz when you write it like that it looks more like what you'd say while sinking into a hot bath after a long day. Satsu: Wait, didn't Todoroki kidnap him? Where did he go? Phos: He’s been consumed by the love triangle void Satsu: He just vanished lol Me: Yeah he was like "finally, my Love Interest™️ is in drag, so I must make the most of this and Romance him" and fucked the hell off dragging poor Izuku with him Satsu: LMAO PHOS Me: SLAKFJDLKJ PHOS Phos: bows Thank you Me:

It was Deku being chased by boys

The Izuku Midoriya tag on pixiv, basically

I picked up deku and put him over my shoulder.

This is the second BakuDeku fic I've seen where Bakugou throws Izuku over his shoulder like a goddamn bag of potatoes and it's portrayed as Romantic. Wiz: w h y Satsu: I'm still wondering, is this supposed to be BakuDeku or TodoDeku? Or both????? Phos: Both, I think Me: I think it’s both, yeah Satsu: Aw, dang. My poor baby. :( Phos: I’d bet real money this doesn’t end properly, like it’s not finished Me: yeah the story is technically called "he's Mine! (tododeku kacdeku) (boku no hero academia)" Satsu: Kfbdkfjf jf Wiz: Oh joy Me: which, like, first off, who the FUCK calls it Kacdeku? I'm pretty sure I heard my cat say that while throwing up once Wiz: gfthghuji Phos: Adobe (That was a corrected keysmash) Satsu: I was about to say about kacdeku veing a very weird ship name lol Ah fuck, I always end up changing one letter or eating a whole word Me: "ADOBE" IS THE BEST KEYSMASH LSKJDKFSL mkay SO I don't think Bakugou would literally kill those boys, but he would definitely threaten it Also, how is Izuku supposed to get changed? Did he bring his other clothes with him??

Phos: BOLD ITALIC AUTHORS NOTE Wiz: jhbjhbjhk Me: I... guess he had his uniform? ALSO YES, ONE OF MY FAVORITES, DEFS A SQUARE ON MY BADFIC BINGO Phos:

Or ... fuck him

Wow I hate this Me: I do not remember Bakugou ever looking like a lost cat, nor do I think a lost cat is a very good descriptor because cats just kinda hide or come up to people and yell when they're lost. ...Actually that second one does describe Bakugou; never mind. Katsukitty "ALL THEM BOYS" SHEEEEE-OOOT! IZUKU DONE GOT HIMSELF A HUMDINGER OF A SOUTHERN ACCENT, NOW, AHYUH-HYUH!!! I walked on a head? Wow, that takes talent. Most people use their feet but I guess if you wanna be Extra

I all ways want to force him

I mean, there are a lot of ways; do you really have to want all of them?

to force him agents a wall

Whoa, what? Where did these agents come from?? Are they investigating Todoroki's sudden disappearance?? Satsu: In which universe Bakugo is nicer with Deku more than with Kirishima Me:

and kiss him passionately

jfc. I just... hhhh. No.

Or... fuck him

Yeah that's about right. Katsuki: [thinks of Deku] well, fuck him :\ Satsu: LMAO LFBFKFHFKFB Phos: Scbsbsfddb Me: Also, Satsu, you summoned my favorite rocky cinnamon roll

Satsu: Also I don't remember what part of season 3 are you refering to dear author lol JUST, PLEASE STOP WITH THE DAMH ALREADY Phos: What even is that page.... Me: So I guess I should be surprised that Kirishima is just suddenly here, but considering he seems to follow Bakugou everywhere, I'm not.

"I've seen you with midoria and I thought I could help"

What's midoria? Is it a medical condition? "Man, I came down with a nasty case of midoria. I was in the bathroom like seven times last night" If that's the case, Kirishima could help by just giving him some Pepto. Satsu: Kdbejqhevjdvfjd Wiz: pfffft Me:

"Well for one change your..."

Mind? Clothes? Tires once every four years or 10,000 miles? Satsu: Your brain cells!??? Me:

"well be less angry and more happy with him"

WOW!! STARTLINGLY ASTUTE ADVICE!! IF ONLY SOMEONE COULD HAVE PINPOINTED BEFORE WHY THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO STRAINED!! YOU DOIN' THE LORD'S WORK, AUTHOR!! Phos: Adsvads Me:

"Are you telling me to change who I am!!"

"Well... yeah, kinda. I mean, I love ya, bro, but your attitude kinda sucks." "........Okay, fair"

"Unless you want him to be with todoroki!?"

Uhhh, does what Izuku wants factor into this at ALL, or...? Also, sure, if someone doesn't like you, just change who you are! Works every time, at least until you forget which version of yourself you were using with each person!! Wiz: yaaaaaaaaayyyy Me:

Damh him

Uhhh... okay. [points to self] Wing, me.

"Fine I'll change but only when I'm around deku!"

Sure! Sounds like the basis of a healthy relationship! (: The last decade of abuse doesn't matter!! Wiz: :')))))

===========================================================

AND THAT IS ALL FOR CHAPTER 2! Next time, Shoto makes terrible jokes and lies to Izuku’s mother, Izuku and Shoto go on a date, and our helpless damsel protagonist gets attacked by a villain!! Next post will be up very soon! Thanks for reading <33333

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 253

Wait, Majin Buu’s gonna stop killing people?    Wow, really?

Let’s get this crap out of the way first.   Gohan’s in like Hour Five of his 25-hour session to get super duper powers.  He’s just got to sit there quietly and let an old man pretend to be important.   You’d think he’d be good at this, since it’s just like being in school, but instead he’s frustrated.    You know, you could have just trained over the past seven years and avoided this entirely, so this is kind of the future you chose, Gohan.

Back on Earth, Goten and Trunks are about to try fusing as Super Saiyans.  

I’m not sure why, but Piccolo seemed uncertain that Gotenks could transform after fusion, so he wanted to try it this way to ensure Gotenks would be at his maximum power against Buu.    But before they commit to the battle, Piccolo wants to get an idea of Gotenks’ abilities.  

But Gotenks is still a little shithead, and he decides to fly around the world several times to show off...

And then he lies down on a rock and waits for Piccolo to catch up with him.

Meanwhile, this old couple is trying to flee to the mountains to escape Majin Buu when...

... the wife gets killed by a sniper.    Damn.

Aw, she even packed a teddy bear, that’s awful.

So yeah, here’s these two assholes.    The shooter on the right is named “Van Zant”, and his butler on the left is “Smitty”.   I think these may be names given to them by the dub, I’m not sure.   Basically, Van Zant has decided that Majin Buu’s rampage basically means it’s the end of the world, so he might as well enjoy himself as much as he can while there’s no consequences, and he’s always wanted to try shooting people for sport.  

Smitty is horrified by this, but Van Zant tells him to shoot the old man, and he doesn’t seem to need much convincing.   Then again, he may not have much of a choice.   If he doesn’t play along, what’s to stop Van Zant from shooting him?   Well, I guess he could shoot Van Zant first, but none of those choices sound very appealing.

Anyway, he seems to enjoy killing now that he’s tried it out, and they plan to continue on this way.    I gotta say that I really dig this part of the story.   It’s easy to think of the masses as “innocent victims”, and that they all must be huddling in fear while they wait for someone to save them from Majin Buu, but there’s plenty of other reactions you can have to a crisis like this, and sometimes there’s people like Van Zant, whose first instinct is to go out and make things just a little bit worse than they already are.

As for Gotenks, once Piccolo finds him, he declares that he’s clearly passed the test, and he’s going to kill Majin Buu right now.   Piccolo warns him to stop, but he just won’t listen.    Which is kind of stupid, because he’s wasted so much time showing off that he only has one minute left before the Fusion wears off.

So he goes to Buu’s house to call him out...

Only to split into Goten and Trunks a second later.    The boys panic and bug out before Buu can find out who’s been talking shit.

Mr. Satan convinces him it was just his imagination, since who would be dumb enough to walk right up to Buu’s house to challenge him?    I mean, besides Mr. Satan, which is how he ended up here.

Last time, Mr. Satan tried to trick Buu with posioned candy and booby-trapped gifts, but none of it worked, and now Buu’s made him his live-in servant.   Here, we see Satan reading A Dog of Flanders to Buu.   I never understood the choice of novel here, but apparently it’s a very popular children’s book in Japan, Korea, and the Phillippines, so I guess it makes sense.    Anyway, the book ends with a boy and his dog freezing to death, and Buu finds this hilarious.

Then Buu flies off to go back to killing people, and Mr. Satan plots to kill Buu once again by planting explosives in his house.   I don’t know why he would expect this to work when that exploding video game didn’t, but I can’t fault him for his persistence.

Meanwhile, Smitty and Van Zant joyride through a nearby town and gun down as many people as they can find.    Smitty’s worried that Majin Buu could attack this place at any moment, since “they” say Buu has a house in the area.    He only built that thing yesterday, so how do so many people know about it?   Anyway, Van Zant isn’t worried because he has a bazooka.   Really?   Buu killed 80% of the population, and you think nobody tried shooting him with a bazooka?

Back at Buu’s house, Satan plants the explosives, but he’s surprised when Buu returns early with a dog.  Buu tried to frighten the dog, but he wouldn’t run away, and Buu can’t understand the dog’s speech, so he doesn’t know why the dog isn’t afraid.  So he brought him home to Mr. Satan so he could translate. 

Satan doesn’t speak Dog, but be does notice that the puppy has an injured leg, so he can’t run away from Buu.   So Buu heals the dog to fix that problem.  

Only the dog won’t run away now because he’s grateful to Buu for healing him.    Basically this is the same deal as that blind kid from a few episodes back, only this time Mr. Satan is here to explain it to Buu.

Buu tries to feed his new dog chocolate, but Mr. Satan explains that dogs can’t eat that, so he offers to go into town and buy some dog food...

But, in fact, this is just a pretense so he can get away from the house and set off his explosives.   He looks through a telescope before he presses the button on the detonator...

... and he sees Buu and the dog licking each other, happy as can be.

And so Mr. Satan decides to hold off on blowing Buu up.   There is the dog there, after all, and he doesn’t have to do this right away.   So that means he really will be going to buy dog food.   This seems like a really awkward conversation though.  

Mr. Satan: One bag of dog food, please.

Cashier: Holy crap, you’re Mr. Satan.

Mr. Satan: Yeeeeeeeaaaaah! 

Cashier: What are you doing here?   Aren’t you supposed to be fighting Majin Buu?

Mr. Satan: Well, you see, he’s weak to dog food, so, uh... hmm.

It’d probably be simpler to just karate chop the guy and steal the dog food.   For that matter, there’s probably a lot of abandoned stores now, so he could go looting.

Later, Satan returns with the dog food, and the puppy loves it.  Buu, not so much.   Well, more for the dog, then.    Mr. Satan was frying you an egg, remember?

At this point, Satan just has to ask: Why does Buu kill people and destroy cities all the time.    In the last few hours, he’s found him to be pretty nice otherwise, so what’s the deal?

Buu explains that Bibidi and Babidi both told him that was what he could do for recreation, and that’s basically it.   

He also explains that they “made” him, so apparently even Buu believes that Bibidi was his creator, although I’m still not clear on that.   Maybe the DB wiki was talking out its ass.

Satan tells him not to listen to those guys.  I mean, even Buu admitted that they were unpleasant, but he’s just been doing what they said anyway.   Buu considers this for a moment, and then he asks if killing is wrong.

When Satan tells him it is, he immediately resolves to never kill or destroy again.   Mr. Satan can hardly believe it.

And he’s thrilled.   As the dub puts it, he got this guy to change his ways, and he didn’t even have to punch him or blow him up.   I love this scene, because it’s not just Majin Buu that’s getting a redemption arc here.   In this episode, Mr. Satan may not realize it, but he’s accomplishing in fact what he only pretended to do against Cell.    He marched right up to Majin Buu and convinced him to stop killing people.  It’s a bit anticlimactic, but no less courageous.

And then the dog gets shot.    Whoops.

Because Van Zant decided to go swing by Buu’s house and check it out, maybe take a shot at Buu while he was in the neighborhood.   I don’t know why he’d start with the dog, but he killed an old lady earlier so I can’t exactly claim to understand this dude.

Mr. Satan is just flabbergasted by this.   I think a sniper was the last thing he expected in this situation.

And here’s Buu, just staring at all of this.    What’s going through his mind right now?   A Dog of Flanders isn’t so funny anymore, I’ll bet.

And that’s the Majin Buu Saga.    Next time, it’s about to go down.