#love what you did with the framing of the dialogue boxes ^_^

[inksandpensblog]

I owe a big thank-you to @nostalgiajesterz for taking on my request, I never could've done this myself. Here's their commission page!

[rassicas]

Hello Rassicas.

I am working on a video about Nintendo’s lgbtq characters. Of course when it comes to splatoon, there’s a certain duo that comes to mind, off the hook.

The problem I’ve been having is that it seems a lot of the information, wether that be the English/japanese bits of dialogue, interviews and other bits of lore, seems to be completely scattered around.

Considering you describe yourself as the “CEO of splatoon lore” I was wondering if you could help me compile any bits and pieces of those two gay cephalopods.

(My apologies if this is moreso something I should be asking in dms instead)

i think the ask box is a good place for this, i'm not as hardcore of a shipper as other people are (more of a worldbuilding enjoyer), but i know there is so much and I don't wanna dig for all of it. I'll share a few off the top of my head. pearlina fans reading this, please feel free to share anything else in the replies/reblogs. 1. Pearl interview from Octotune: its on my mind since i just brought it up in a previous ask I think the artwork in this interview has the strongest implication that pearl and marina live together. Also the question: Q17: What is the best gift you have ever received? Pearl: The chance to meet Marina. 2. Marina's manga, "Dear Pearl". a manga that, in-universe, is drawn by marina.

genuinely i think this is one of the gayest things there is in canon like theres hearts in that LOVE letter thats directed towards pearl COME ON (i consider it canon as its drawn by seita inoue, who handles splatoon's art direction and a lot of lore/worldbuilding). you can read it here

3. Marina's tagline on Splatoon Base calls her a 恋する乙女 "young lady in love". the word for 'to love' (恋する) is specifically romantic.

4. Off the Hook didn't fight against each other in the s2 final splatfest like the Squid Sisters did because they're on such good terms with each other.

I’ve heard people saying that since the final fest for the last game was a showdown between the Squid Sisters, this time it was bound to be between Off the Hook.

Nogami: I think that’s probably the obvious conclusion, but the development team don’t actually want those two to attack one another. Since the Squid Sisters have their own talents and abilities, even though they are a duo they are also kind of rivals, so we thought we would pit them against each other. Off the Hook, though, are much more of a unit and on good terms with one another, so we didn’t want to force them to fight.

5. Marina has a photo of pearl as her desktop wallpaper. the framing of the photo very much looks romantic and intimate. there is no heterosexual explanation for this

i'll stop here, there's definitely more and I don't wanna be here for hours. I haven't even touched on any in game dialogue. again guys feel free to make additions to this with sources. is there a pearlina masterdoc or something LOL i feel like thats something that deserves to exist (someone please make it because i wont)

[knight-says-rollout]

Would you mind telling us about more disabled Cybertronians?

Oh boy would I

For this list let’s focus on physical disabilities, both because they’re the most commonly dismissed by the fandom and bc if we try to cover everything we’d be here all day (that can be another list, maybe, if y’all want)

This isn’t going to be comprehensive bc I’m tired but!! I will aim for a broad variety of examples nonetheless

Bumblebee - You all know him, you all love him. He’s the most obvious and most well known example of a disabled Cybertronian character.

In many iterations he is mute

Not by choice but because he lacks a voice box. Bee physically isn’t capable of speech and depending on the version has different tools to work around that. Sometimes he uses his radio to repurpose song and radio dialogue into speech, in cyberverse he also makes use of the internet for clips. In the aligned continuity (tfp and connected media) he speaks in binary, a very simplified form of language using beeps and buzzes, but still lacks a real voice and can’t form words.

In IDW he has a cane

At one point in the comics Bumblebee was shot by a human protester and as a result used a cane for a good bit of time. I haven’t had the chance to read that far into IDW yet so I’m not sure how long he had the cane for but it was enough time that it’s a solidified part of the charcaters history. I’ve seen little models of the cane for sale, to be paired with bee figures.

TFP Ultra Magnus - everyone’s favorite awkward commander, despite his popularity he’s surprisingly overlooked when it comes to this discussion

An amputee, he lost his hand

During an energon raid with wheeljack, magnus’ hand was crushed. Ratchet couldn’t save it and had to amputate, replacing it with a hooked prosthetic. I call it a prosthetic rather than replacement part because despite him being able to move it, it’s not a hand. Not in the way he had previously, and he has to relearn how to use it at all.

I think that’s an important distinction to make when discussing disability and transformers. Some bots might have only ever had one hand, or no legs, or etc but that’s always been their level of ability and since they Are robotic. Yeah they might not have the same capabilities as another bot but that’s a hard metric to go by. Seekers can fly but a grounder isn’t disabled because they can’t fly too, it’s a different standard.

WFC Shamble - far lesser known than Magnus, and reasonably so, this background character is Also missing a limb

Amputee, leg edition

His prosthetic is a lot less fancy than magnus’s, it’s a simple peg leg. Put em together and you get a pirate. Not much to say about him since i don’t know how he lost the leg, just that he did.

Shadow Striker - Most awesome lady in cyberverse. Unlike the above two, she Was able to get actual replacement parts rather than prosthetics. Despite this, she is both shown throughout the show and implied to have

Impaired mobility

Chronic pain

She was able to get replacement parts yes but they were needed because she was blown up. The limbs she was given were kinda just what the others could Find and as such are mismatched and don’t fit her very well. Her motor skills took a blow especially when it comes to combat, something she used to excel in. Her new limbs are described as unstable and prone to malfunction. The loss of mobility and implied chronic pain that come along with her situation are rough, but she makes do.

SG Soundwave - my favorite little guy, he’s in a bit of a different situation than the previous.

Bad Joints ™

His body was entirely overhauled multiple times, successfully, but the latest frame change was done with conflicting metals. Earth and Cybertronian materials clash in his joints, making them prone to getting stopped up. The most affected hinge being the one on the door to his tape deck. It is so prone to getting stuck that his cassettes refuse to dock with him at risk of getting trapped. To work around this, Soundwave has the aid of a personalized case he carries around that they dock in instead.

IDW Sunstreaker - speaking of assistive devices, this guy was (for a time) a wheelchair user! Or,, hoverchair.

Temporary,,, paraplegic? Correct me if another term fits better

Taking this moment for an aside to say hey!! Lookit that, both canes and hoverchairs are things that canonically and casually exist on cybertron!! It’s not too wild to assume there are bots out there who use them long term!! Yes both characters on this list were repaired eventually but they’re also both very popular old characters from an action based franchise and hasbro doesn’t have the balls to make something like that permanent yet. We the fandom are not hasbro. We can do whatever we damn want with our OCs. It’s canon that ur little guy can use mobility aids.

Ok, PSA over, anyway yeah Sunny’s body was basically wrecked and alpha trion was able to repair all of him except his legs. This put him in a hoverchair for a good amount of time.

Finback - he’s a con, a pirate, who developed a “metal wasting disease”

He’s on permanent life support

The disease is going to kill him eventually, and it’s explicitly stated that he’s come to terms with the idea of his death. In the meantime he’s using pretender tech, kinda like fancy armor, to reinforce himself and boost his immune system

Perceptor - for a microscope, the fact he’s got vision issues in multiple continuities is kinda ironic

He’s fully blind in cyberverse

He lost an eye in IDW

Between the two we get to see both routes taken to work with this. Adaption and technological aid. In cyberverse he uses his scope to compensate for the loss of vision Toph-style. In IDW he built himself a monocle that basically replaces the pieces that are missing.

Now we get into the uniquely Cybertronian disabilities, one’s that don’t quite translate to human conditions

Transmutate - is a beloved bot from beast wars

They can’t transform, they don’t have an alt mode

I’m hazy on the details of their character but afaik they came from a damaged stasis pod. Described as deformed and handicapped for their both their lack of an alt mode and general appearance, they are probably the oldest explicitly disabled Cybertronian character

Xaaron - from G1 is in a similar situation

He can’t transform, it would kill him

Unlike transmutate he does have an alt mode, a tank, but after thousands of years without transforming he is no longer able to. The new stress it would cause on his body would kill him.

Broadside - continuing with the subject of alt modes, this clumsy boy is a boat! That’s not a good thing.

He’s very prone to motion sickness

As you can imagine, chronic sea sickness isn’t the most helpful thing when you are the boat. This brings in the entirely new element of mobility issues that are inherent to alt modes. A bot that functions fine in root form might not in alt mode and vice versa.

Trailbreaker - is another instance of this. He’s not a fast car by any means but that doesn’t stop the fact

His frame has a very high energon cost

Possibly the least fuel efficient autobot, he’s got an outlier ability on top of it all that only further increases his required energon intake. He needs to pay more attention to his energon levels and refuel more often overall.

G1 Knockout - yes that’s right the shiny medic himself is on this list, though not for the same reason as his tfp version, g1 knockout still lives up to his name

He’s prone to fainting

A knockout in the more literal sense, he faints when he gets too excited. Fully collapses and everything. Since he’s a fall risk, his teammates take care to keep an eye on him.

Annnnd Yknow he probably should’ve been earlier in the list along with the “human-ish” issues but I’m tired, it’s late, and I’m bringing this list to a close

Im sure there are more characters that I didn’t mention but I hope this helped! Thank you for the ask

[chlorinecake]

Hey can you make something like "kissing I hope they catch us " but for a black reader please?

Hot Cocoa Kisses —⊹ N.RK (西村力) ☕️

Pairing… ₊˚⊹ ᰔ boyfriend!riki x girlfriend!reader

Warnings… ₊˚⊹ slightly heated make-out session, teasing, pet names, fluff, rushed

Words… ₊˚⊹ ᰔ 867 -> “Your lips taste like hot cocoa”

It was a chilly winter day when you and your boyfriend Riki sat in the living room together.

Cradled in the fluffiest blankets you two could find, you sat in between Riki’s legs on the couch, reading a manga he received as a Christmas gift out loud as he braided a tiny section of your hair. Not to style it, of course, but just out of pure endearment for you.

“So what’s happening now?” Riki asked, mostly focused on carefully overlapping the three strands of hair he was working on.

“Hmm… I actually stopped reading the words a few pages ago. The illustrations alone are much more interesting in my opinion,” you replied, just as he kissed the center of your scalp, letting you know that he was done playing with your hair.

“Let me see,” he said, taking the comic from your hands to examine it for himself. “Yeahhh… the dialogue is pretty impressive, actually. No wonder a little baby like you only wants to look at the pictures though,” he giggled, tickling the spot beneath your jawline before getting up and walking towards the kitchen.

You weren’t ready to leave the warmth of the cozy couch yet, but you understood that Riki wanted one more thing before y’all continued to spend this lovely winter evening together: Hot cocoa.

Your arms found Riki’s waist as he reached for the top cabinet, grabbing the box of hot cocoa mix from the top shelf.

“Almost forgot about these,” he said, pulling down mini marshmallows next.

You put yourself in charge of warming the milk for your drinks, followed by stirring the cocoa mix into your mugs and then waiting for it to cool.

“Are they finished, yet? It’s not like we’re making “cold cocoa” anyways,” Riki sighed, leaning over the counter on his elbows.

“Well if we add the marshmallows now, they’re just gonna melt again, see?” You said, grabbing one of the cups to take a sip, “I mean, it’s not as hot anymore, though, if you’re just tired of waiting.”

Upon saying that, Riki just stared at you for much longer than necessary, holding back a smile as his eyes glittered with amusement.

“W-what?” You asked, poking him on the shoulder which only made him laugh out loud this time.

“It’s the braid you did, isn’t it?,” you continued with a pout. He shook his head at your words, walking up to you and taking your face in one of his hands, swiping some moisture from your upper lip with his thumb before tasting it himself.

“You had a milk mustache, silly,” he smiled softly, eyes not leaving your lips as he licked his own, leaning in with a soft kiss.

Humming into the embrace, a smile creeped upon Riki's face as your hand found his neck, supporting yourself against the counter for him to only pull you closer.

“Riki~,” you mumbled while disconnecting your lips, “where’d all that come from?” you asked, still in a daze as you felt heat rush to your face.

He bit his lower lip, looking you up and down through hooded eyes as his hands rested on either side of the countertop, caging you in before his intimidating frame.

“Nowhere,” he smirked, pecking you one last time on the corner of your mouth before continuing, “your lips taste like hot cocoa and I just couldn’t resist.”

Playfully smacking your boyfriend’s chest, he released you from his arm cage, watching as you went back to the other counter, shaking marshmallows in both your mugs before sealing the bag closed.

He took so much delight in seeing how flustered you appeared now. You even fumbled with your fingers as you tried closing the bag all thanks to his actions.

“Are you sure you don’t want something cold to drink instead? You seem warm all of a sudden,” he teased, wiping the spilled remnants of sugary mix from the countertop with a napkin.

“Do I? Maybe it’s because you keep looking at me like this,” you teased back, dramatically reenacting the way he looked at you earlier, biting your lip to seal the deal.

He laughed with his entire body, leaning over the counter as soft giggles rumbled from his body. But then, his cocky side returned.

“Is that the only thing I did that got you flustered, or is there more?” He asked, voice deepening slightly as his piercing gaze scanned you once again.

“Hmm… well… you also touched me like this,” you said, cupping his face in your hands, “and then I nearly fainted when you kissed me like there was no tomorrow!”

“No tomorrow, huh? That sounds romantic,” he smirked, trying to mask how giddy you were making him feel in this moment even though the pink hue staining his cheeks and ears made it impossible to hide.

“That’s because it was romantic, Riki,” you smiled lovingly, kissing your finger and placing it on his rosy nose before walking back to the living room, warm mugs in both your hands as you returned to your seats on the cozy couch.

The same place you knew Riki would eventually start to kiss you again the moment you sat your cup down.

❆ Thank you for reading this quick little fic, and special thanks to my bbygirl for requesting this !!

❆ Feel free to check out more cute and fun reads like this at the pinned post on my blog :3

❆ Taglist: @squoxle @ashgonedash @nikisdubblchococake @yourmomscuntis2tighy @watamotee33 @noodlesimp @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @star-yawnznn

[comically-callous]

Hey! Can I request a Willy Wonka x reader? I don’t know if you’ve ever read the Anne of green gables series but there’s a dialogue where Anne tells Gilbert “I don't want sunbursts or marble halls, I just want you.” and if you can, can you put that in with fem reader saying this to Wonka when he’s worried he won’t be able to make it big from just starting out and providing for them with all his setbacks and of course it’s all fluff and soft?

"Yes anon." The fanfic writers all say in unison.

Willy Wonka x gn!Reader (Wonka 2023)

A/n: Since Valentine's day is coming up, I sort of made this post themed around that. My requests are open 🤠

Willy had been very self conscious lately. Which was not something he was very used to feeling.

It all started one day when he'd overheard a couple men having a conversation on the street. They were talking about the lavish gifts they planned to give their wives for Valentine's day. Diamond rings, expensive dinners, personalized portraits, on and on.

Before then, he'd had no problem with his plan of giving you flowers, chocolate, and a card. But, now? That felt like nothing compared to what other guys were doing for their significant others.

His insecurity grew from there. His chocolate business had only just started out, but he felt like he wasn't making enough money. That's why he couldn't get you a fancy gift. And if he couldn't get you a fancy gift then how would he ever be able to even support you? You'd never want to marry him if he couldn't support you.

His insecurities snowballed until he was absolutely dreading February 14.

The day arrived and saying Willy was nervous to see you was an understatement.

The two of you had agreed to meet at your house. He knocked on the door, his heart racing and his hands feeling a bit sweaty. When you opened the door he swallowed nervously.

You smiled at him sweetly. "Hi, Willy!" You wrapped your arms around him in a hug and he relaxed a bit. "Happy Valentine's day!"

"Yeah, happy Valentine's day."

You pulled back from the hug and led him inside. "Can I give you your gift first?" You asked excitedly.

"Uh- Sure. Yeah." He sat at your kitchen table and watched as you left the room, seemingly to retrieve the gift.

"Close your eyes." You instructed. He did as you asked. After a moment he felt your presence behind him as you put your arms over his shoulders to hold something in front of him.

"Now open."

He opened his eyes.

In front of him was a framed picture. It was his favorite picture of the two of you. When it had been taken, Willy insisted that you kept it.

"I made the frame myself." You said with a proud smile. "Turn it around." He flipped the frame to see a heartfelt love poem on the back.

"This is amazing." He gushed, smiling as you sat next to him at the table. "Thank you." He pecked your cheek and you giggled.

The sweet moment was soured a bit when he realized he had to give you your gift now.

He handed you the bag your gift was in mumbling a quick "It's not much." as you eagerly looked inside.

First, you pulled out the chocolates. They were in a heart shaped box with a card attached.

You read the card before opening the box of chocolate.

"About half of them are your favorites, and the other half are ones I think you'd really enjoy." He says as you popped one into your mouth and let out a satisfied hum.

"I'm sure I'll love them all." You said as you reached into the bag and pulled out the bouquet he'd gotten you.

"I grew those for you."

"You grew these for me?" You repeated, astonished he'd put in that much work for you. "Willy, I love them!"

"You don't have to say that." He shakes his head.

You tilt your head, confused. You gently put the flowers on the table with your chocolates. "What do you mean?"

"You don't have to pretend you love the gift." He shrugged. "I know you've probably gotten flowers and chocolate dozens of times before, and I know it's not extravagant or-"

"Willy." You say his name softly. He gives his attention to you. "Why would I not love this gift? You made me my favorite chocolate! You grew me flowers! That's so romantic!"

"But..." He trailed off, looking away nervously.

"But, what?" You asked.

He paused. "It's not expensive, or fancy, or... Any of that stuff."

"Why would I care about that?"

"Because-" He felt tears begin to well up in his eyes. "Because if I can't even give you a nice gift how am I supposed to buy you a wedding ring, or a house, or pay rent? How am I supposed to take care of you?"

You blinked. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You'd never heard him be this distressed over anything.

After a moment, you gently cup his cheek with your hand. He gazes at you with his big, brown eyes that are wet with tears and it breaks your heart a bit. "Willy... I don't want sunbursts," you say. "I don't want marble halls," you continue. "I don't want diamonds, or pearls, or any of that!" You pause. "I just want you."

Willy's speechless. He stares at you for a moment and then his lips crash into yours.

The two of you share a sweet kiss for a long moment until you break away. "I love you, okay?" You assure him softly.

He nods, a small smile on his lips. "Okay." He says. "I love you too."

[fraeuleintaka]

AAIC Gameplay Video (Switch)

This is the 56th post in the Ace Attorney Investigations Collection Countdown: 25 days left until release!

Today's topic: some Gameplay footage from the Switch version of the collection!

Along with all the new information and previews there have also been two gameplay videos of the Investigations Collection released, one for the Switch (which today's post focuses on) and one for PS5, showing some initial parts of the first cases of both games in the collection. Of course, the gameplay is the same as it was for the DS versions, it's still fundamentally the same games after all, but there are some neat things to be discovered in these videos anyway.

First of all, we get a look at the title screen and main menu of the collection and - WOW! - is that main menu music aka the Investigations Collection theme an absolute banger! I love it! Especially the initial few seconds when it kicks in, so hype! It's gonna feel so amazing just to start up this game every time!

The title screen and main menu look amazing as well, of course. The design is so fancy and elegant! I especially love the prominent logo, the courtroom background (taken from Investigations 1) and the way the selected option is highlighted. That burgundy-coloured box with the gold framing is peak Miles Edgeworth!

Continuing to the title selection screen we see that the fanciness doesn't stop there. The two screens for the two games have similarly prominent logos and also specific backgrounds to them. The courtroom background, viewed from a little bit higher up, for Investigations 1 and the PIC meeting room background for Investigations 2. Very fancy and gives the two games a very different atmosphere already only from the title screens. I also love the arrows for switching between titles, they're black with a similar gold framing to the highlighted boxes and it fits perfectly! They really just went and coloured everything after Miles' own outfit and preference 😄 So not complaining, it's brilliant!

During the shown gameplay we also already get to see two of the many accolades that are in the game: "Doing Things My Way" (awesome name) for using Logic for the first time and "Checkmate" (very fitting) for successfully completing the first Mind Chess segment. Here you can also see that the phrase appearing on screen when finishing Mind Chess is "Checkmate" (instead of "Complete" like in the fan translation). I really like this change, it's much more specific and fancy this way.

Speaking of translation changes, since we see some gameplay from Investigations 2's first case we also get a more continuous impression of how the official translation compares to the fan translation. I don't have many screenshots of this part of the game with the fan translation on hand and don't remember all the lines specifically so I'm not going to do a direct line-to-line comparison between the two versions but I can definitely say that I like what I see from the official translation! The lines and dialogues flow naturally and there are already some wonderfully phrased moments from just this short amount of story alone! As you can see from the screenshot above, they definitely carried over how hilarious some of the wrong answers in Mind Chess could be 😄 Maybe they even added unique dialogue when picking them? I doubt it but I still hope.

One phrase that stood out to me in particular was this one for when Miles finally checkmates Nicole (Tabby Lloyd). It sounds so badass and poetic! 200% how Miles would phrase this and I love it. I don't remember how the fan translation did this line but I doubt they beat this one. This makes me even more excited to see how the rest of the official translation stacks up! Maybe we'll lose some amazing lines, and I'll be sad about that, but, judging from this, we'll definitely get some new ones, too.

Another moment I loved, and actually laughed out loud at, is this one for when Miles talks to Payne about the chief prosecutor (who he's referring to in his thoughts). Just that singular little "Rude..." at the end there is a-ma-zing especially coming from Miles! 😄 Gah, I'm so excited to play this already!!

[orchid-mantis-petals]

WHEN HOME BECOMES YOU CHAPTER 9

/ Well Hi!! Heyo!! Soooo..I may or may not have been hit with a wall of inspiration. I also may or may not have cranked out the entirety of chapter 9 for you..Whoops??

/ Anywho..Shes done, unlike a lot of the other chapter this one has a TON of dialogue which was incredibly fun to create for all of you.

/ My usual thanks go to @maximumkillshot for helping me do the segment with Lix and Minho. and @taeminsung, I LOVE your live comments as you text me..hehe

/ I will stop gabbin here we go!!

/ Genre: angst, fluff, comfort, MORE cuddles

/ Warnings: Talks of DV, Family history, talks of injury, Lee Know is kinda mean, Felix and Reader cry, and Swearing.

/ Summary:

Your conversation with her was brief before she paged forward Himora, the old friend of Ivory. He was tall, fair skinned, with neat slicked back hair. His attire was not  far off from a classic 70’s suit and tie detective in an older tv show. Something about it looked and felt familiar. All those years you’d been plopped in front of a tv watching those cheesy cop shows caught up to you now.

When you woke the next morning you weren’t sure what you expected. The night before flooded back with eased disregard for your own mental wellbeing. Just the idea of sitting up from your plush bed was terrible. It was only when said bed lifted and relaxed under you that you thought to make a move. Slowly with caution you turned to find your head was rested against Changbin’s chest. You remembered having asked him to stay with you, sleep beside you. A nightmare startled you both awake. It was rare you wanted company in your bed. Rarer you’d cling to them. You distinctly remember having fallen asleep with your hand in his. This..wasn’t how you fell asleep. With your legs tangled into his hand still clasped together beside your head that rested just below his pecs. It explained why your bed had felt as though it was breathing under you..Because it literally was. Changbin groaned above you as he blinked his eyes open. You allowed him a moment to scan the room. To give himself the chance to remember where he was. When he did he looked down at you his eyes sparkled to have found you cuddled up against him.

“Good morning Whimsy,”

“Morning,” you smiled back before you sat up. You laughed when he protested you getting up but he didn’t stop you. “Come on sleepy head, you have NIZI,” he groaned once more before he followed you out of the bed. You didn’t have any clothes to offer him. To which you apologized for. He waved you off and headed downstairs to let you get ready for the day. As you looked through your closet then down at your phone. The boys had a photo shoot later in the day one you would attend to keep them safe across the sets. While JYP always did his best to have areas blocked for his artists you never know what could happen. You had a feeling after going to the police station you’d go straight to work. With your uniform on you joined Changbin downstairs. He was settled in your kitchen as he whipped up a quick meal for you both. Quietly you stood beside him to watch as he took what very little you had in your kitchen into a meal. It wasn’t much but you loved every second of it. You allowed your eyes to wander his frame as he mixed the yogurt and granola in one of your smaller mixing bowls. It was there you spied the scratches over his wrist. Slowly your hand reached to clasped over his hand to pull the wrist toward you. “I’m so sorry. Changbin..”

“Oh, Whimsy. This is nothing compared to your hands. Barely noticeable. Don’t worry about me,” the hand you took moved from your fingers to caress your cheek. His thumb rubbed over the apple of your cheek. You turned your face into it and sighed softly before he moved away to finish breakfast. “You never meant to hurt me. Are you ready??”

“Almost,” you moved away from the kitchen to the stack of boxes. Hidden at the very bottom of the small stack was a box that didn’t quite fit in with the rest. Gently you pulled it free from the rest. It was a filing box, the contents from within heavy..Filled with the details of your life in America. You set it aside on the kitchen counter as Changbin handed you a bowl filled with your parfait. “Ready, come on Bin. I don’t want you late,” he laughed as he followed you out the door with his own bowl in hand. In the car he let you pick the music he laughed when some of their music came on. “What?? You think after a month of being your security I wouldn’t have your music on my playlist,”

“Nah, I just. I wasn’t sure what songs of ours you liked. I haven’t heard your taste in music yet,” you smiled as you fed yourself the breakfast he made you sighing happily at the taste.

“Thank you Changbin. I really needed the company last night,”

“All you ever have to do is ask Whimsy. I’ll come everytime, so will the rest,”

“Not all of them,” you both chuckled at that.

“You’ll win them over Whimsy. Those two knuckleheads just need time,” you watched as he pulled into the drive of the Danceracha house and parked to let you out. “Hey, Y/N??”

“Yeah Bin??” You turned to look at him, his eyes soft the minute you met them. For once you didn’t flinch as he reached out to caress your cheek.

“I like it when you call me that. Be safe today, I’ll see you later,” unknowingly you leaned into his gentle touch. Your eyes fluttered closer a moment before you nodded.

“I will. Thank you Binnie,” without anything further you slipped from the car face slightly red with the blush on your cheeks. Before you could even knock on the front door Felix flung it open to greet you. He took the box from your hands and set it aside to hug you. “Good Morning Lixie,”

“Starlight!! Did you sleep well??” You nodded as you stepped into the threshold. “I won’t take long. Promise we’ll go in just a minute,”just beyond Felix you saw Lee Know in the kitchen threshold he regarded you with a Curt nod before he disappeared inward.

“Where are you two going??” He asked, you noticed the sharp lift in his tone. As though the only reason he asked was to make sure Felix would be safe. You didn’t want to lie to him. It was easy to see you were on thin ice with him. So you spoke the truth as Felix shuffled his shoes on.

“The police station,”

“Why??” He now stood in front of you, his steps fast as he too began to put on shoes.

“To file a report on someone. I take it you’re coming,”

“I’m driving,” he grumbled as he took the keys from the bowl at the door and stepped out ahead of you and the young blonde.

“Sorry Starlight he’s..”

“Protective, I get it,” you reached for the box Felix set aside but he beat you to it and carried it out the door you followed with a shake of your head. The car ride to the designated police station was quiet. You wondered if it had been just you and Felix if maybe the two of you would chat away. But with Lee Know at the helm you felt uncomfortable to speak out. And Felix must have understood that as he fiddled with his phone in the passenger seat.

“Do you want me to go in with you??” He broke the silence as Lee Know parked the car at the station.

“No..please..ah..” you stumbled over your words, you weren’t ready for him to see you fall apart in the ways at which you knew you would in front of this detective. “Can you wait for me outside?? I-I won’t be long,” both boys nodded as you slipped out of the car, your box in hand as you went. Your steps were slow and hesitant as you walked in the front door. It was different from a police station you had gone to in America. Much more clean and organized the front receptionist was alert and receptive of your arrival. Your conversation with her was brief before she paged forward Himora, the old friend of Ivory. He was tall, fair skinned, with neat slicked back hair. His attire was not far off from a classic 70’s suit and tie detective in an older tv show. Something about it looked and felt familiar. All those years you’d been plopped in front of a tv watching those cheesy cop shows caught up to you now. You were thankful to find his office was closed off from the prying ears of others, he was even kind enough to shut the door behind himself before he joined you in a seat across from you. Your box on the floor beside your feet.

“I was surprised to hear from Ivory. But then again when one of her own is in danger she’s quick to act. Y/N was it??”

“Yeah..”

“She shared a little of our situation but left most of the details out. She wanted you to tell me,” you couldn’t bring yourself to look up, to look him in the eyes. Part of you wished you had let Felix join you in this. But you weren’t ready for the younger to hear this story yet. You weren’t even ready for this detective to hear it. “Look, I’m not here to force you into telling me what’s wrong. I just need the basics so I can begin your file and create a protective order if it is needed,”

“It’s needed,” you sighed the inside of your lower lip now raw from anxiety. “All of it..the last five years, is here. In this box. My entire life for all it’s worth rests in your hands now,” you reached down for the box and gifted it to him with a gentle push across the wooden coffee table. “It has all my hospital records, pictures, police reports. I-I think there’s even some old journals I kept. I documented everything..He’s..He’s trying to find me..and he will kill someone if he doesn’t..”

“If I file a protective order you know it will reveal your location right??”

“Will it keep him from hurting those I care about??”

“I can’t guarantee that. But I’ll do my damned best to try,” you nodded, eyes watering at the idea of him finally having an idea of where you were. All those months he’d tried to find you, it would fall into his hands with ease. But..when you thought about Felix, when you thought of the boys. How much they wanted you in their lives, their desire to make you part of their family. It was an easy decision, because it protected them. And you hoped it would protect you. “Do you have any family I need to add to the protective order??” Himora sat forward with pen and pad in hand ready to write names down.

“What do you consider family??” You sniffled as you blinked away the tears.

“Ideally blood related. But if you fear the safety of others I can take those names down,”

“I haven’t spoken to my family in five years. Not since..” you paused at the thought. It had been so long since they drove you away. But you didn’t have to wonder why, you knew what it was that cast you out. “Not since my elder sister died. The golden child, we were in a car accident. She died on impact. Because I survived, my family blamed me. So I was disowned. I doubt they’ll take the protection. They always liked Logan. Despite knowing what he had done to me they always adored him,” through it Himora only nodded he listened intently to you speak your truth to him.

“Aside from them is there..”

“Stray Kids..the members of the band..I work for them. But we’ve become close. We’re becoming close. As well as Axel and Ivory,” there was no hesitation in your voice as you spoke, you even interrupted Himora. You watched as he wrote it all down every bit of it. Afterward he closed the pad and set it aside.

“Y/N you are always safe here. I want you to take my card and have my phone number. Any information you want to give. Even if it feels meaningless to you, tell me. I can also offer counseling services for what you’ve been through. But I won’t force you. Give me a few days to pour over your files. When I have your number I’ll let you know the next steps,” you nodded slowly before you stood from your seat to shake his hand. “It takes courage to do this. I will protect you and the rest with all the power I have,”

“Thank you,” your voice has no strength left. You were quiet as Himora walked you to the front to make sure you made it to the car safely, his card tucked neatly into your pants pockets.

**** **** **** ****

Every so often Felix found himself pressing two fingers to the pulse point in his wrist. A random habit he picked up when he was younger to curb his anxiety.

“Talk to me Lixie. What’s going on in your head??”

“I am just worried about Starlight, you know??”

“No, not really,” Felix sighed, he knew that his Hyung didn’t like their new friend but he couldn’t figure out why. It nagged at him with every scoff and huff Minho let out when you got any kind of attention from the rest. Seungmin admitted he wasn’t sure of you yet due to the lack of quality time he had with you. Even made a snide remark of ‘its hard to like someone when others monopolize their time,’

“You know..With someone who is the second oldest of our team, your approach to this is rather childish. Does it really bother you that someone gets the opportunity to protect us AND get along with us?? Or does that job solely belong to Mister Lee Minho,”

“I know you did not just full name me..” he laughed beside Felix, the younger turned and bowed in his seat.

“I mean you are my elder,” the response back was a playful shove back into his seat from Minho.

“Alright enough out of you. Truthfully Lix, I want to like her. But I am having a hard time when she continues to ask us for trust but then hides from us,”

“See Hyung, was that really so hard to tell me?? Oh look!! The sky didn’t fall,” they both laughed, their usual deep belly deep laughter. With it Felix’s anxiety was swept away with the wind. “You aren’t patient. But with Starlight we have to be,”

“I’ll try harder Lix, but only for you,” it wasn’t long after the back door opened and you slid into your seat in the middle. Felix lit up at your presence, his entire being turned to take you in.

“Hey there, how did it go??” he asked calmly as he reached into the back to wipe away some of the tears left on your cheeks.

“I..I think it went well..” There was silence from the oldest in the car before a heavy sigh left his body. Felix braced for impact of what his Hyung might say to you.

“Good, it’s hard to see you stressed out. It upsets the others,” both you and Felix let out a collective breath you seemed to have both held when it came to what Lee Know might say. “What does this detective do?? I mean what is his specialty??” Felix lifted his brow as he looked at the man he considered his older brother. It was a look that read ‘just couldn’t help yourself could you??’ they both knew that answer, plain as the question he asked you. “What?? Was that too invasive?? I’m trying here Lix..” Lee Know snarked nose scrunched lip turned up. Your laugh broke the tension once more as you sat back in your seat and fished out a card from your pocket.

“Detective Himora is a Domestic Violence and Homicide detective,” your admittance shocked them both. Felix felt his heart stop a moment, only to begin again at a rapid pace. Sure, he had his guess as to what happened to you, even understood someone had hurt you in a cruel way. But to hear you admit it, in front of him and Lee Know. It took Minho a second before he turned to look at you.

“Wait..Someone did that to you?? Someone hit you??” you chuckled, it unsettled Fleix. This topic wasn’t something you chuckle at, yet you had. He wondered why..Who had hurt you so bad that it was almost funny to even regard.

“Hit was the least of my problems in the five years I was with him,” Felix felt tears well in his eyes, to him it was unimaginable that someone could ever hurt you. He had come to adore your presence in every moment you granted him. The Starlight beacon he wanted to shine over him with every chance given. To admit that someone tried to take that from him, to squander the open love you give, it broke his heart. He hadn’t realized he was crying until you reached over from your seat to wipe away his tears. “Oh Lixie..I’m trying to fix it I promise,”

“Fix it..You shouldn’t have to fix anything..” he sniffled as he leaned into your bandaged hand. After a moment he turned to kiss your palm. “I’m sad someone hurt you,and for so long,”

“I am making sure it can never happen again,” he nodded in your hands, slowly he took a steady breath in and out until he felt himself calm down. Beside him Lee Know was silent, his own eyes a touch red from tears that welled in the rims of his lids.

“You are so strong to have survived that Y/N. A warrior through and through,” With gentle hands Lee Know reached back to squeeze your shoulder. Felix watched as your free hand came to rest over his Hyung’s. In that moment the ice had finally broken. He could see that Lee Know had finally let go of his petty attitude toward your being in their life. After all of you calmed down the oldest finally started the car and headed toward the company building. “Thank you for trusting us Warrior,” Felix knew he was hooked now, he may not have smiled at you fully but Felix noticed the soft crinkle in the corner of his eyes as he spoke to you.

“Thank you for listening Minho,”

TAG LIST: @taeminsung @maximumkillshot @feybin @alex--awesome--22 @liknws @palindrome969 @newbbystay @highlydestiny

[angstyaches]

for the dialogue game: "You'll feel better with something in your stomach" for Shayne/Charlie!! (if you're feeling up to it—hope you're well! 🤍)

I'll admit that the idea for a scene like this has been knocking around in my head for a while, so I hope you don't mind that I used your prompt as an excuse to use it!!

Timeline: Not-too-distant future

Word Count: 407

CW: disordered eating, horror elements.

___

“You’ll feel better with something in your stomach,” Charlie said.

It was dark outside, and he could barely make out anything as he joined Shayne next to the window. Shayne was staring unrelentingly, though, like he was waiting for something to come.

“Lovely,” Charlie said, “did you hear me?”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Elliott mumbled as he sat down at the kitchen table with a whisky in one hand and a vial of LMD in the other; Charlie tried not to let the sight of the blood ruin his appetite. Felix sat next to him, smiling sadly in Charlie’s direction as he opened up the lid of the pizza box and slid it towards the centre of the table.

Charlie leaned over to pick up a slice, catching a thick string of cheese on his finger before scooping it into his mouth. He took several bites all together, careful not to bite his own cheek as he attempted to chew it as quickly as possible. As he swallowed, he realised just how hungry he was, but he’d take care of that in a minute.

He walked over to the window and eased a hand onto Shayne’s shoulder. “Lovely?”

When Shayne looked at him, Charlie almost shrank back. Nothing could have prepared him for the shiver of primal fear he felt in his bones. Shayne’s eyes were glassy and distant, and Charlie couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his boyfriend without dark circles or a slightly grey tinge to his complexion.

“Hey.” Charlie tried to keep his expression as neutral and pleasant as possible.

“Are you okay?” Shayne asked, as though the only reason he could think of for Charlie to try to talk to him was because something was wrong. Well, something was wrong, but Charlie wasn’t the one who needed help.

“I’m all good. I can’t finish this, though.” Charlie held up the pizza he’d taken a few bites from. “Can you help me?”

Shayne silently took the slice and turned back to the window. He took a small, slow bite as he continued to aimlessly watch the night, and didn’t seem to notice when Charlie turned around, picked up another slice of the pizza for himself, and bit into it.

When he realised Elliott and Felix were staring at him with what could have only been awe, Charlie self-consciously touched the frame of his glasses and did his best to suppress a smile.

[metallicaislife]

Daydream Pt 3

A/N: This is the third, and final installment of Daydream❤️ -p.s. sorry it is story heavy and light dialogue. p.p.s. I cried writing this lol

Requested by: Anon

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 759

Warnings: All the feels

Daydream Daydream Pt 2

The first time I invited Y/N over to hang out with me and the guys, she panicked. She thought Kirk and Lars would be angry at her. I hadn’t told them I ran into her, I wanted to surprise them as I had been with our chance encounter. I reassured her they would not be. I knew they had missed her a lot, not quite as much as I had though. 

When she showed up, the look on their faces was priceless.

“Are you fucking real?” Kirk asked, “like are you who I think you are?” He questioned excitedly. Her laugh was heavenly. Kirk hugged her tightly.

“What are you talking abo-“ Lars started as he walked into the room before his eyes landed on her. “Y/N!” He exclaimed and hugged her. 

We cried together, and laughed, lots of laughter. We almost felt whole again. 

After that night I found any and every excuse I could to see her nearly every day. Whether we went out and did something or stayed in and watched tv. Days we couldn’t see each other we’d call and talk about everything and nothing. 

I finally told her about my crush, that I developed feelings for her shortly after we met. Cliff had started bringing her around. I was having a tough time and she took the time to listen to me. She is such a genuine and caring person I couldn’t help but fall for her. 

Months after that, she was curled up with me on the couch. My arm around her, my fingers dragging up and down her side softly as we watched a movie. I felt her gaze on me, so I turned my head, our eyes met and she had the most precious expression on her face. 

“I like you, James.” She said sweetly. My heart swelled, my lips stretched into a wide smile as she leaned up to kiss me. I’ve kissed many girls, and this simple sweet kiss has to be the best one I’ve ever had. 

The first tour I had after we started dating was hard. She couldn’t get away from work, and I understood. We talked every night. She surprised me half way through the tour by flying out for a couple nights. 

As we laid in each other’s arms, I asked her to move in with me. She happily agreed. 

“Are you sure? I’m not rushing you, or us am I?” I asked for the millionth time. 

“James, if I wasn’t ready I wouldn’t have agreed.” She scolded as she brought another box in from my truck. She paused, “unless you’re having second thoughts, then it’s too late to go back to my apartment but I can find another.” She rushed out her eyes wide. 

“No, no. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think that.” I said taking the box from her and setting it down. I wrapped my arms around her waist, her hands rested on my chest. “I’m more than ready, I just want to make sure you are too.” I told her softly. She smiled up at me. 

“I appreciate that. I am ready, if there was anything I wasn’t ready for, I’d have said something.” She reassured me. I smiled at her and kissed her forehead. 

We finished bringing her things in. She unpacked a little but decided she would tackle that a bit more tomorrow.

I sat on the couch with a beer. 

“Look at this.” She said, sitting next to me handing me a picture. “This was the day we met.” 

I studied the photo. She was on a couch sandwiched between Cliff and I. We were having a party the first time Cliff brought her around, and Kirk was snapping pictures. 

“I miss him.” I said, my throat closing in. 

“I miss him too.” Her voice was as wobbly as mine. 

“Let’s buy a frame for this and we’ll put it up.” I offered. 

“I’d like that a lot.” She replied, she got up to put the photo away and returned to my side. 

She weasled  her way under my arm. I chuckled holding her close.

“I love you.” She whispered softly into my chest.

 “I love you.” I told her and kissed the top of her head. 

When I met her all those years ago, I could’ve never imagined we’d end up here. Not only was she my best friend, she was the love of my life. I look forward to the many years we’ll share, and the memories we will make.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to request or chat :)

-Isa

[luffysprincess]

HI AMIRA ❤️ I’m here for the interview game!! I’d love it if you would interview my boyfriend Kisaki 🤭 we’ve been together for a couple months now!

Three things I love about myself would be….my smile for one hehe. I really love that my friends feel comfortable talking to me when seeking advice or a shoulder for comfort. And I also love that I’m willing to try new things!!

And then three things about my selfship right? First, Kisaki was the one who helped me get my ex’s stuff out my apartment; he stood by my side while the cheater tried to blame Kisaki of all people for breaking us up! Crazy right? Second, Kisaki has been showing me how to use a gun 🫣 he says it’s important I know how to defend myself since people will come after me if they know we’re together 🥺 And third….whenever we have the day together, we start off by making love and having breakfast in bed 🥰

a/n: kisaki’s dialogue is bolded for an easier reading experience

“Is there a reason why you’ve got two men standing in the corner glaring at me?” the interviewer begins.

“There would’ve been five but I sent three to watch my girl.”

“Your girl? You mean Andy, correct?”

“Who else would I be talking about?”

“She didn’t come with you today?”

“No, she was pretty tired after this morning. I decided it was best for her to sleep in.”

“What happened this morning? Is she okay?”

“Andy’s perfect. She just can’t walk and probably won’t be able to for the rest of the day.”

“Oh is this a normal occurrence?”

“No, usually our morning activities are more gentle, so to speak. But this morning, the sight I woke up to filled me with the sudden urge to completely ruin her.”

“I don’t know whether to feel bad for the girl or not.”

“Don’t worry she’s fine. This wasn’t the first time. Besides, if anyone can take it, it’s her. She was meant for me,” he grins.

“Okayyy moving on to our next question: How serious are you about your relationship with Andy?”

“As serious as the men behind me who are willing to put a gun to your head if you ask a question that stupid again.”

“Woah okay, no need to get hostile. I'm just reading the cue cards. Don’t shoot the messenger…” the interviewer mumbles the last part, “...literally.”

“Next question, I don’t have all day.”

“What has you so busy today?”

“I’ve gotta buy a new bed frame, since I broke our current one just a few hours ago.”

“Goodness– how did y– no you know what. Nevermind.”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said she’s bedridden from our morning happenings,” Kisaki smirks.

“ALRIGHT, lets move on to something less inappropriate. What’s an ideal date with your girlfriend look like?”

“Well…” Kisaki smirks again, hinting at a not so inappropriate thought. He laughs at the interviewer’s incredulous expression before he continues, “An ideal date would most likely start with the two of us getting ready for dinner together. She teases me with the new dress I bought her, and then I fuck her in it. We show up just a tad bit late, but enjoy our time there nonetheless. I may or may not fuck her again in the restrooms, depends on if we’re truly enjoying the food or not. And then we end the night enjoying some drinks on our penthouse balcony. No scratch that, we stick to the infinity pool instead. Either way, I’m having her against any surface there is. Finally, we fill the night with endless love making.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“One last question. That’s been there since you walked in here.” The interviewer points to the cube shaped protrusion in his pants. “It doesn’t look like a gun, and I know sure as hell you’re not excited to see me, so what is it?”

Pulling out the box, Kisaki answers, “This morning really confirmed a lot of things for me today. So this is your sign that the next time you see Andy, you’ll be addressing her as Mrs. Kisaki.”

[divinekangaroo]

Currently, you are my favorite fic author as I’ve probably mentioned multiple times lol. Sorry in advance if this rambles, but your writing always makes me guess and look closer and it’s nice when you can ask the author your questions:

In reading your latest, I audibly gasped when Michael thought of Tommy as a priest when he was talking about his cock under the ROBES?! Crazy. I loved it. Also Michael asking about Lizzie was insane, but it’s also insane to give your aunt who’s like a mother to you’s son a list of vetted prostitutes.

Also! The little dialogue between Tommy and Lizzie where Michael is just sitting there. I can just hear her say his name, it just charged with so much emotion and AUGH. What sort of tension were you going for in that situation? Especially with Michael wondering what Lizzie does with her money— the payout money.

And I might just be stupid and tired right now, but why does Michael seem scorned (other than the fact that he was the bottom rung) that Tommy fucked Lizzie at the office? What made him ask for Lizzie, if nothing but a power play? What does Tommy retracting the card and saying that he couldn’t afford Lizzie say about him and their relationship?

Again, thank you for writing all these fics, they bring much joy <3

@lethargicmouse Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! When I did my re-watch, I jotted notes of what was going on at every point in time and I try to keep some allusion or reference to as many moving parts in any of these fics as feasible.

And then there's the format of these little fic-bits/flash fics, too, which I love because they lend themselves to being like a little puzzle box for both writer and reader, packing so much meaning into a single sentence such that one isolated word carries weight.

On top of the attempt at canon-integration, though, I also carry a lot of headcanon into this, so pls forgive if I speak about matters as if personal headcanon is canon because it's not always...

So answering your questions/thoughts -

After being taken away from his mother by the Church, Michael was canonically sexually abused by Father Hughes. There's also a strong allusion that he was (maybe sexually but also physically/verbally) abused by his adoptive father Mr Johnson, given his adoptive mother Mrs Johnson tries to bring him back home later in S4 by informing Michael his adoptive father has died. On top of this, Michael appears to have the same kind of intelligence/metacognition/ambition Tommy has and was able to do his night business school for further learning, but was nevertheIess then stuck on the farm with the white well he wanted to blow up -- this boring, abusive presentation of the pastoral 'ideal' that comes up so often in British literature and which is always subverted in Peaky Blinders.

Into this pastoral hell walks Tommy, dripping with wealth, the trappings of class, modernity/cutting edge thinking, lying to Mrs Johnson as smooth as breathing and with no shame when she calls him on it. He doesn't exactly rescue Michael but creates a framing which is: if you want this, come and get it. And Michael does, where he then discovers the layer of violence which enthralls him - here is where he fits in, here is why he wanted to blow up that well, here is his blood.

In S2, Michael is taken into prison by Campbell in a powerplay between Campbell and Tommy. He was 100% definitely physically abused in prison and likely targetted by Campbell if not other inmates, we see that in him being beaten up. He may have been sexually abused, but this seems less likely from his reactions. But to be released from prison, it's not Tommy who does anything, it's Polly who has sex/is raped by Campbell to secure Michael's release - and Michael is told this, mockingly, by guards (power figures) who probably laugh about his whore mother. Michael reacts badly to this for many reasons, but I'd guess a part of it is shame from his own past abuse - a sense of victim blaming. He takes a long time to relate to Polly again and S2 is framed as a series of choices for him, where he decides to stay with Tommy (and Polly) out of ambition for wealth despite now knowing and experiencing the consequences (prison, rape, abuse).

S3 he rises through the ranks accordingly but also takes the fall back into prison at the end of S3.

Pre S4 timeskip, Tommy's now made good his promise to release everyone from prison/criminal conviction, but Michael's nearly died as well as suffered in prison again. In my headcanon, he's also had to listen to John expounding viciously on Tommy's behaviours and history in a less than flattering way; John is almost 100% convinced Tommy will purposely let them die so he can get on with his clean, non-criminal life, and because Tommy's desire for this seemed to increase with Grace and post-Grace, John doesn't hesitate to also slag on Tommy and his women, his use of prostitutes, his sleeping with Tatiana, his getting the cream while they get shit, his fucking of Lizzie when Lizzie was supposed to be John's wife, etc -- I also theorise Michael hadn't realised Tommy x Lizzie was going on in front of him. All stuff that Michael hasn't really thought about Tommy before. Arthur doesn't want to think Tommy's purposely abandoned them, but also thinks maybe John's right, so says nothing at all, internalising and feeling completely impotent and lost. This doesn't help Michael, as Michael is the only one sitting there with a thought of, but Tommy promised he'll save us, but he has no history to rebuff John's rancour, and as well, Michael's own belief is being rapidly eroded away.

Then Michael goes home and his mother, too, is completely (and embarrassingly for him) emotionally and mentally (and spiritually) adrift, also bitching about but conflicted about Tommy, and all that entails. Michael returns to work with Tommy because he still wants this wealth, this life that Tommy represents, and Michael still kind of respects Tommy and knows he hasn't learned enough yet, but there's also this sense that the illusion is fully shattered: Michael now looks at Tommy and what Michael sees is a very flawed man who's barely holding it together, and who takes risks (in business and personal life) and abuses his power to do so without considering the cost on others/family. (Note it's not about whether this is true or not, it's what I think Michael is seeing.)

So then we hit my flashfic with Michael back at work, but looking hard at Tommy with a very different, disillusioned and non-idealistic lens.

When Michael thought of Tommy as a priest - so Michael's first encounter with power/authority is a priest who abused his authority. Michael now has a sense that Tommy has abused his authority and created situations of sexual abuse (for Polly, maybe for Michael, and also by fucking 'his secretary' who isn't even 'Lizzie' at that point in Michael's id reaction, just someone who is not in a position to say no to her boss the way Michael couldn't say no and Polly's no wasn't heard). Let's not also think about that mythos where you 'inherit' the power of the man you kill - and Tommy was the one who had the power to give Michael the order to kill Hughes; that sense of Hughes' power/corruption transitioning to Tommy.

Michael asking about Lizzie was insane -- 1000% a gut-level power play, not actual desire for Lizzie. But also, Michael doesn't ask for Lizzie. Michael says 'What if I asked for Lizzie.' Michael is instinctively pushing a sore spot (his own, Tommy's,) trying to call Tommy on his hypocrisy and power abuses, not actually want Lizzie. And Tommy recognises this immediately.

but it’s also insane to give [your younger cousin] a list of vetted prostitutes -- not for Tommy? I wrote an earlier flashfic where Tommy's father takes them all to a brothel ridiculously young after possible abuses/sexual abuses in the Parish's care. This sense of 'you feel unmanned, come fuck a woman and feel like a man again'. Forgetting that apart from Arthur who didn't get taken away, they were...not men yet, even in the measure of the day. This is unusual (at least all in the same room) but not unheard of for working class men to set their sons or younger brothers up with whores, partially because of the sexual mores of the day regarding keeping good girls virginal until ready for marriage but men expected to have ample experience to bring to the marital bed. Tommy in the future demonstrates this with Finn, too. However, this peace offering by Tommy is instantly repulsive for Michael because 1) represents abuse of power for sex again, and 2) it represents a low class thing to do no matter how classy the whores are and is an overly simplified offer to address all the complexity Michael's feeling now about Tommy, and 3) Michael's sexual experience prior to this was with Charlotte, a rich, upperclass girl, not a prostitute. Be like Tommy but with more class? Michael sees himself sleeping with upper class women, not classy prostitutes.

Also! The little dialogue between Tommy and Lizzie where Michael is just sitting there. I can just hear her say his name, it just charged with so much emotion and AUGH. What sort of tension were you going for in that situation? So this is Lizzie doing what she genuinely was trying to do in S4 early - make Tommy speak to his family again in person and get over the current estrangement. My headcanon is Lizzie has no family of her own she connects to, and while she came into the Shelbys via John or Tommy as a sexual partner, she's fallen in love with this entire Shelby family, this sense of everyone everywhere all at once, and she just wants them all to be connected again. However, all she sees is Tommy being proud and prickly, not hurt. Tommy is very hurt, and while he is proud and prickly and won't cave in, there's a bitterness there that Lizzie doesn't see or respect. So the tension was Lizzie speaking from a place of love but also annoyance at what she sees as childish behaviour; Tommy's speaking from hurt and pride and authority to shut her down. What is also behind this, too, is that I think Tommy has withdrawn from any sexual or soft encounters with Lizzie and probably did so immediately after handing her that money at end of S3, a closure point. So she has a level of longing in her outreach which he also shuts down and will not indulge. He regretted being weak, I think, and needing to lean on her, and probably hurting her too, and is trying to build up walls against being so vulnerable, exposed, used in the many, many ways he was vulnerable and exposed in S3.

Especially with Michael wondering what Lizzie does with her money— the payout money. So this line was tying into the sexual power/sexual abuse of power layer for Michael in a few ways. There's classism: 'What's a lower class bint do with this much money' is one part of it. But more significantly, Michael witnesses Lizzie getting a wad of cash for Tommy fucking her, and then Tommy gives everyone else a wad of cash for...services rendered (Tommy fucking them, if in a different way.) So Michael is looking at that money somewhat bitterly because of what he had to lose to gain it - basically self respect and respect he might still carry for Tommy, who let Polly take it and Michael take it and his brothers take it, all tainted with this strange sexual layer due to the various abuses Michael perceives.

why does Michael seem scorned (other than the fact that he was the bottom rung) that Tommy fucked Lizzie at the office? A combination of Michael's soreness at his own blind spots, at being kept blind, and a slight disgust that Tommy was exercising that kind of authority/abuse in locations Michael now has to look at daily and be reminded of. I theorise the grand imprisonment at end of S3 struck Michael as a huge surprise; he knew dodgy busienss was happening but the extent of it -- and then the fact Michael was imprisoned for Hughes' murder, which Tommy authorised -- really stung.

What made him ask for Lizzie, if nothing but a power play?

Tommy's behaviour around Lizzie is visibly out of character, which suggests there is something there that can be exploited. He employs her in a very visible, important position when she doesn't really add much class to his outfit. She can't spell. She has no prior experience. He admits she helped him; he effectively admits he's soft because of her (heart breaking comment). Michael's lashing out at evident weaknesses, similar to what Mosley does in S5. It's also poking at the prostitution thing and the fact Lizzie was supposed to marry John and that they went to the extreme with Angel: purposeful or not, every act Tommy's taken with Lizzie so far has been to make her unavailable for other men, the huge power play piece is if you really want to reconcile with me would you make her available for me.

What does Tommy retracting the card and saying that he couldn’t afford Lizzie say about him and their relationship?

Tommy recognises Michael is sore about something but conflates it to the 'unmanning' / loss of power of being imprisoned. After all, Michael's come back to work so he can't be really sore at Tommy, acn he? So Tommy does what his father did and offers the women/whores as a way to feel like a man again. Michael's response immediately makes him realise he's misjudged why Michael is sore and that it's far bigger than that; Michael, too, is pissed off at Tommy but unlike the rest of the family, Michael is ignoring that for reasons unknown and is coming back to work. Tommy's distrust starts now: what is Michael doing and why is Michael doing it? Tommy immediately withdraws all offer of easy reconciliation from the negotiating table. XD He also uses the term 'you couldn't afford her' as a counter play: all right, Michael, let's assume Lizzie is still a purchasable sexual commodity; you, you little jumped up shit thinking you can dig at me, you couldn't come anywhere near the amount of money and prestige that I've given her. Get back in your box.

After which let's imagine Tommy promptly heads over to the Midland and fucks in a fury all of his rotation of prostitutes and keeps fucking them with widely varying levels of interest through to start of S4.

(And this doesn't really touch on the Michael-wants-Tommy / Michael-wants-to-be-Tommy / Michael-wants-to-be-better-than-Tommy themes either, but there's a strong undercurrent of that, sexualised and not, in any of my Michael & Tommy flashfics)

Thanks for your questions and the opportunity to do a mini Director's Cut! Hope it was entertaining.

.

Link to the flashfic referenced above: and not one god his fury spares

[blackjack-15]

finishing up ep 4 --

return of the love scene lighting while marcus is making the cake. they're really not subtle with how any shot is framed, which as a lighting/set direction geek i appreciate

i keep calling pete paul gosh dangit this is what i get for pirating without subs...the feds were right

pete's very slurred speech about him following carmy's career and how sugar did too? so cute. carmy has no idea how to handle praise that's directly tied to him rather than tied to his cooking directly and it's a little heartbreaking. it's not just that he doesn't have the language to express himself, he doesn't have the ability to receive it from others -- we're hitting another repression and abuse flag right there

"we spilled a whole bottle of xanax in it?" "...are they dead?" "no, just sleepin" "keep up the good work" hilarious outcome, i'm giggling like a schoolgirl carmy's relief is Palpable

"i can't be in [the Beef] five minutes before i start thinking about dark shit" "that's prolly why i like it so much" carmy i love you baby you have Got to not self-flagellate, the world does it enough to you

cicero's dream about carmy's father is another great example of the bear's ability to have a stripped down, simple scene full of dialogue with a present, dark undertone. carmy's "what happened to the kid" is so sweet and soft -- i wonder if, like a lot of youngest children, carmy has a soft spot for/always wanted a little sibling. his sadness at hearing the kid in the dream sat there waving as his father is palpable

syd learning that being rougher, not more hesitant, with tina being the way forward is wonderful, and a hugely important lesson for bother her and the viewers. people are like ingredients -- they each need to be treated in individual ways in order to bring out the best in them

"thank you jeff. chef." THERE WE GO TINA YES GIRL

"love you, bear" "love you" WE GOT AN I LOVE YOU FROM CARMY HUZZAH not quite an un-asked for i love you but close enough. he's like a skittish deer combined with a raging asshole (deer with boxing gloves for antlers?) -- you gotta let him come to you or you're gonna regret it

carmy trying to hide his laughter at pete being zonked is really cute

"sorry, pete" i'm calling it now end of S3 pete/carmy bromance bring it in

syd watching carmy in the restaurant before marcus comes in with cake....the crumbs are Delicious thank you

super solid episode all the way around -- i think ep3 had higher highs? but way lower lows, while ep4 is good all the way through

let's keep truckin halfway through s1, so the Problems are gonna start cascading p soon, methinks...

[crystalelemental]

I've actually been playing two games in parallel, depending on whether my wife is using the Switch. Final Fantasy 9 was my turn on the console, but while she's playing, I picked up Bravely Second. I'll be honest, Bravely Default was...very bad, in my estimation, to the point I consider it one of the worst games I've played. But I got both on what I considered good authority at the time that these played and felt like classic Final Fantasy games, and since I own it, I have to beat it at some point. So I've been playing through it, and have finally completed it. If finishing FF9 today was like finishing a delightful meal, finishing Bravely Second is like chasing it with a nice glass of bleach and lighter fluid.

So yeah, I did not care for this game very much! Unless you wanna stick around for me bitching for 15 paragraphs (it's actually 19, I can't believe I went over estimate), there is no reason to read further, I am just venting at this point. But if you do want to hear it, welcome aboard.

Bravely Second is, thematically, fixated primarily on second chances and the means of accomplishing them. Specifically, a big portion of the game is on the notion that you can't change the past, but you can change the future by working on the present to correct past mistakes. The final arc flows around concepts of hope and despair, the notion that nothing can change and falling into anguish and creating greater problems for yourself, or finding hope and moving forward. Conceptually, the pieces are there, and I see what they're trying to do. Bravely Second's problems, at least narratively, come from a complete lack of dramatic weight, coupled with intense cast deficiencies.

I need to talk cast to explain the failure in drama. Bravely Second's primary four suffer intensely from being genericized. I mentioned FF9, and have been playing all of the FF games (through 12) this summer, and one thing that really stands out is that, for every game, characters feel dynamic. They can have quirks and particular frames, but dialogue is varied and organic, in a way that makes them all feel alive. Bravely Second does not do this. Character dialogue is highly repetitive and pigeon-holed into particular gimmicks and tropes with little embellishment. Yew is going to go on about gravy, Edea about her sweets, Magnolia will say something in French then translate for us, and Tiz will have just the worst opinions you're likely to hear. The characters never really grow past these little boxes for themselves, and this hinders the drama.

Aside from trying to experience a profound emotion while three separate people keep unironically using the phrase "my coup de gravy," this creates situations where character developments follow expected and obvious lines. "Aha Yew, don't you see? Your family history is awful and the organization you support has done terrible things to the world, and we wish to unmake them!" This could be grounds for many directions to begin taking things, as we delve into specifics around a theme. But it's always in generic and immediate terms of "my parents died because of corruption" and "I've seen so many things you wouldn't believe." Would you care to elaborate? "No." So it's all met in equally generic terms, as all Yew has to do is go on about how yeah sure, but that's the past, and he's gonna change things going forward! Which flops ethically if you know literally anything about reform efforts or certain institutions, but this is just what happens when your narrative wants to play at being deep while wading in the kiddie pool.

I can't even say the others have relevance. I imagine Tiz and Edea are supposed to just carry over from last game, but there's no real substantial reason for their presence here. Magnolia gets hit hardest, as I can't for the life of me figure out a good reason for her, specifically, to be there. Beyond her job busting Ba'als, it's not like her presence adds much more than just "Yew's love interest." A big thing the game wants to play with is romance and not letting your feelings go unsaid, which realistically only applies to Yew toward Magnolia, but it's not like she presents with much of her own. Which...alright.

It would be one thing to leave it at just "boring concept, boring execution," but there is, unfortunately, more to the problem. Despite its focus on "you can only look forward," your party fails, the Kaiser takes Agnes back in time, and the fairy shit obliterates the moon, leaving you all in a dark, dead world. What is your solution to this? You use some magic time powers to boot New Game+ at the Kaiser fight, use the SP skill, and get your party back, changing the events of the start of the game. Ie, the past. Because yeah, it turns out you can alter the past here. Which thematically undermines the point, and dramatically reduces any tension to 0. We had potential quences to conse, but instead of sticking to your storytelling guns and having protagonists sincerely think of a way through this, you just circumvent the problem like it never happened, redo the whole world so no one died or had anything bad happen, and boom, problem solve. See? Second chances.

This inability to just live with a decision also leads to what I am now calling, without question, the single most cringe scene in any video game ever. Not even in an arguable "cringe is dead, let things be sincere" way, but in a way that's just...sad. The final boss is a literal god of the world, who is tormenting a dead soul for giggles I guess. It just wanted to mess with someone. When you interfere, your party starts winning against the true form, only for it to look directly at the camera and start talking to you. The player. Talking about how making them fight is only hurting them. Then it switches to the title screen where every input moves to delete your save data, until Yew cuts through it, producing the title of the game, now saying "Bravely Second: Send Player," with the SP taken away as a source of time power to show the proper title, "End Layer." We then have to cycle through every antagonist character talking to you, player, about how your actions saved all of them and you can surely beat this god thing, until you do. When I say "cringeworthy," I mean I actually, physically cringed. This then plays into more scenes of some third moon spirit coming around to bring your time compass where it needs to be to save Tiz and shows all the couples getting together, exactly zero of which I care about since I dislike Tiz and Ringabel, and Magnolia and Yew's romance kinda fell stale after like one chapter.

Seriously, the romance aspect sucks. Early on, I was kinda alright with it. A social faux pas had Magnolia interested in Yew from what she clearly thought was a marriage proposal, and it's clear he's taken with her too. While they have a few cute scenes early on, it kinda just...fizzles away into people telling him not to keep his feelings bottled in and to tell her, but they never do anything particularly cute after that, so there's no longer connection. Especially given, again, Magnolia brings nothing to this table aside from "is girl." Zero chemistry hetero romance strikes again.

But now we must shift gears, to possibly the worst part of this game. Throughout the first three chapters, you will get access to side-quests, where Edea specifically must resolve an ethical dilemma between two of the former asterisk holders. Each dilemma will give you the asterisk of whoever you side against. In the early dilemmas, the game just feels like it's throwing softball tosses at you, or it has a really messed up sense of ethics, because you'll get choices like "provide water to the orphans of the desert, or potentially blow up the entire continent in hopes you'll harness free energy for real this time," or "allow this man to pursue his passion career in a field he studied for and excelled in, or force him back into a dead-end job because he needs to learn the value of hard work I guess." Given that choosing the obvious decision results in some gnashing of teeth from the other side, it may be that the game has a fucked sense of ethics, but it could also be they felt they needed to present it like a legitimate dilemma, so I'll let it slide.

The worse ones are the middle ones, where the stakes are far, far lower, but the game kinda reveals it has no clue what it's talking about. One involves the performer and pirate classes. A new song from a famous old composer has come to light, and the pop start girl wants to remix it in her style, while the pirate thinks it should only be performed as is, as a ballad for the men of the sea. In ordinary circumstances, I feel both positions are fair. Different genres arranging music is a thing that happens, but some people do feel like one version reigns supreme because of its artistic merits. The game go over both sides, then hits you with the grandson confirming the grandfather wanted this song to only be in this style, dedicated to the men of the sea. And just like that, problem resolved. The ethical dilemma is no more, the creator specifically requested no alteration to this music. To do otherwise is unethical. So I sided with pirate. Only for the game to spend an insane amount of time harping on "Yeah, that gross girly pop music is so vapid and uninspired," as if (1) that isn't misogynistic as hell, and (2) the actual problem at hand. The game just completely misses the point of where ethics are.

I can't even say that's the worst one. Another is between Monk and Valkyrie. In Florem, they're making a school, but they're deciding whether it should be an all-girls school, or a co-ed school. Given the history of the place favoring women, the co-ed angle is initially posited as a sort of equality measure. Which...correct. Moreover, you can't really have school segregation without creating inequality, it's the entire problem driving private education, homeschooling, an charter schools. You kinda need to dump everyone in the same pot, or the rich will voluntarily exclude their children from the public to receive more favorable conditions to the non-rich. The ethical angle is integration for these reasons. However, the game frames the co-ed side as "students should be able to pursue romance!" This argued from a character literally named "Sweaty Tracksuit." It is so viciously disgusting on an emotional level I almost sided with segregation on principle. But I stuck with the ethical decision, and was greeted with the reveal that Sweaty over here has the hots for the lady arguing for all-girls, and felt a deep sickness in my stomach.

But don't worry! When you go back in time, you can just do these decisions over anyway! How else would you get all classes in one run? Good thing none of your choices mattered!

Ugh. I'm done with this. We have to talk mechanics.

Bravely Default, as a series, wants to emulate Final Fantasy 5. The focus on jobs, the focus on abilities and mixing and matching, they want to be FF5 so bad. But they are not FF5. They are much, much worse. Because they don't understand what made FF5 so good, and want to insert their own idea of difficulty that hinders the experience.

FF5, as a game, is fairly challenging because there are a lot of unknowns, and bosses are rough. However, with a bit of foreknowledge and some experimentation, most bosses can be trivialized without much investment. A major late-game boss, the Omniscient, can be rendered entirely impotent just by having two Reflect Rings equipped. One of the hardest bosses, skeleton dinosaur, can be instantly killed with Raise because undead. Shinryu can be Berserked, allowing Blink to just trivialized the fight. Even early game bosses like Garula can be hilariously circumvented with the right tools. Did you know it can be hit by Pond's Chorus if your Blue Mage learns it in the tower, negating its counterattacks and boosting your damage? FF5 is a difficult game, but the puzzle aspect of its boss fights is you with a ton of tools, against an opponent that will cream you if you don't put together a solid counterplay.

Bravely Second, conceptually, does not do this. Your skills are both largely unavailable, and functionally useless half the time. For example, let's say you picked up Black Mage, but you decide to keep working a different class for skills. When you shift to Black Mage in the endgame, you will find out that the only spells you can use right now are the basics. It turns out, to get the high-level -aga spells, you must grind out job level to 8, something unthinkable in FF5 if you're main is BM. Every aspect of this game involves grinding, and I will get back to complaining about that soon. But the other issue is skills are useless. One combo I hit upon in my choices was Red Mage + Ninja. Red Mage has a skill to grant 1BP when you dodge an attack, while NInja has a skill that caps evasion for six whole turns, wow! I don't think I ever dodged a boss attack. Despite maximized evasion, that didn't translate to any functional effect. Both the points I put into learning Ninjitsu, as well as the time spent getting that Red Mage skill, were meaningless. The puzzle box aspect of solving boss fights is no longer against the boss, it's against your own characters, finding out what you can get access to and what actually does anything.

This leads to grinding. Not just any grinding, mind you! Bravely Second has a system where, if you win a fight in one round, you can fight another right after, with boosted points added. The longer the streak, the better the boost, up to 3x EXP, gil, and AP. This is where the problems start. Early on, I was into this system, because it felt sane. I can farm a bit at each location before pushing on. But this stalled out in Chapter 1, when I realized nothing was as efficient as training on the high seas in the row boat. See, enemies past that point now have an assload of HP, and it is very difficult for one character to win in a single round. Comparatively, it is very easy to do so on the sea. And the level of multiplier made this unquestionably the best AP farming location. The majority of the game doesn't even offer better AP for random encounters, so it's not like single fights later on outpace this. Its bigger problem is scale. Again, FF5 has slow AP gains, but the tradeoff is that you always have your passives when you main a class, and the highest job level is 7. Bravely Second? No passives until unlocked and equipped, and hell no actives until unlocked, also there are ten levels in each class, and the scale is broken. In FF5, when you get 1-2 ABP per battle, and have a 500 ABP need for your final level, that's rough, but achievable. When you get 10 AP in Bravely Second and your seventh level costs 1500 points? You see what I'm saying?

It's not even just EXP and AP, god no. Catmancer, you Blue Mage equivalent, as well as the Confectioner, a sort of debuff-centric class, both require consumables to use their skills. Yes, their Blue Mage, not content to just track down these spells to learn from enemies by having them cast on you complete with Reflect demands, also demands you farm out resources to use them at all. "But they have a skill to search during comba-" I AM NOT DOING THAT! No one should have to do that!

This doesn't even touch on the two major combat issues. BP is everything in this game, and its management is more important than any other form of strategy. Most of the time, your solution is Defaulting to 3BP, then unloading on the enemy. I'm not going to lie, almost none of them can do anything about this. The toughest fights are the two who can. One of them can't if you know his move pattern, the other is only a problem if you continue to use Healing Mist because he'll possess your character and get like 14k HP back each round. The other is that, because of the dearth of actual skills, there's not a whole lot you actually...do. Combat is the same every time, and there's very little variance. You just find the maximum DPS number you can hit and move on with your life. My Ninja never stopped just dual-wield attacking, my Fencer never stopped stance changing, and my mage never stopped Hammer Spellcrafting for 9999 damage. Every fight, without question, went the same way. Which, again, does not fit the FF5 puzzle box mode, where switching your classes and altering your approach to suit the given battle is paramount. It's just a DPS check. It's not even that hard. Once I hit a certain point, I just turned encounters off and swept bosses until I couldn't anymore, and a quick lookup of the most efficient training grounds got me what I needed.

For my final gripe: I have been historically positive regarding turning off encounters. I do not like the random encounter system, I think it's butt when I'm trying to explore and get jumped by enemies I don't want to deal with, only to find run mechanics don't work this game. But turning everything off also yields disappointing results. I couldn't tell you anything about the dungeons in this game, and the exploration phase feels even more annoying because instead of something I'm experiencing, it's just a block to the next boss fight as I try to piece together how to get all the treasure. I do think this game has a bit of an issue where puzzles are overly complex, but even beyond that, removing random encounters entirely does remove a sense of identity from locations.

"It's optional." It's also smart. Because the game inflates HP values like fucking crazy. In random encounters, it's to prevent abuse of the multiplier, but it makes all encounters frustrating as hell. If I can't take down a random mob of three enemies with all four characters unleashing four attacks in a row, then I do not want to deal with that mob. But oddly, this also happens with bosses. While I mowed down the majority, I did notice that, without fail, my mage ran out of MP every single time, while my physical units tended to lag behind the DPS curve. I found this strange, because often, I was at the forefront of the level range recommended for the zone, and I'm only playing on Normal, so what gives? It's possible I failed to maximize DPS somehow, but I think there's another reason. See, there's a way to break the 9999 damage cap, and to sneak in extra damage and actions for free. Through your Bravely Second system. Which you accumulate up to three points of, one for every 8 human hours of gameplay, or by purchasing them with actual, literal human dollars. There are microtransactions in this game. As if things weren't bad enough, they have microtransactions, and I suspect put in some frustrations to try and sell them. It's absolutely possible to do without. I did. But good god.

*sigh* I think I'm done. God I hated this game. Bravely Default stays losing. Can you believe they tried to sequel hook this game, then had to release Bravely Default 2 with an entirely different cast? And that these initial games were so bad, that even though that one is also generic as shit with equal problems, I wound up giving it a pass for managing to be okay?

[zoe-bug]

Cutting Shapes - Ending Snippet

So I’ve pretty much accepted that I’m probably not going to go back and fully finish writing the last coda arc of Cutting Shapes. I apologize to everyone who loved CS and had hoped I might do that. I’m happy I managed to finish out the main emotional arc of the story, ending with chapter 13.

I did have in my docs folder the final ending piece of CS that I thought I’d share.

It’s not a full scene with dialogue or anything, but simply the emotional bookend to the fic that I had written forever ago knowing I wanted to place it at the very end of the fic to wrap it up.

And so figured I’d share it here for anyone interested who might want to read it. 

(Song I had picked out for the final scene: “Frame of Mind” - Tristan & Bracken)

---

I think if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the act of living is one of cracking open. 

I used to think that cracks meant you were broken. I think lots of people do. But I’ve come to understand that “breaking open” does not mean “broken.” 

Because we are all, day by day, fracturing. 

There are fissures in all of us, made by the things we care about and the people we love or people who failed to love us in the way we needed. Each time our lonely hearts slam against the pane of glass separating us from the rest of the world, reaching desperately outwards, the force of it sends hairline fractures through our solitude.

That splintering is the sign that you, at the deepest core of yourself, do not wish to be alone―that your heart is not content to beat a solitary and singular existence.

Marco was right when he told me all those weeks ago that we weren’t made for boxes. That’s why all attempts at defining and cohesion felt like wounding, felt like closing myself off.

Yet, it is tempting. Aloneness will always call to the small and scared parts of us who have been sliced open by those jagged edges, whose instinct is to see cracks and immediately recoil. Because oneness feels safer. Cracks have sharp edges and hearts are fragile things. Reaching through them into the unknown spaces between ourselves and someone else is a terrifying feat to attempt.

And understanding this doesn’t make it less terrifying. Living isn’t suddenly easy once you realize it. 

Living hurts. Cracking open is painful and awful and at times you feel as though you will not survive it. But despite this, despite everything, you must.

Because nothing compares to that sensation when you reach outward and touch something that, perhaps for the first time, does not hurt you. The confirmation that you do not have to be deathly afraid of what lies outside―of realizing that the peace of “singularity” I thought only music could give me was truly just the sensation of knowing what it is to exist without walls.

And slowly, so slowly, we learn how to gaze through our fractures instead of at them―to understand that our hurting and our suffering and our thinking we were somehow less whole simply means we don’t want to be alone.

And that is the furthest thing from broken.

Because, god, how beautiful the world looks when we gaze out at it through shapes that love has cut into our existence.

How beautiful is the light that glints off our jagged edges, sparkling and shining like music in my head when I close my eyes or the sight of Marco’s eyes on me when I dance.

I am not at my worst. Nor am I at my best. I might always be in this process, because that’s what life is. Life is movement. Life is a constant cyclical work of inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling, of finding changes in rhythms that help you live without suffocating. Of letting the outside world in, and then also letting it back out again.

I am working and living through this harrowing yet beautiful process of splitting open at the seams in order to let the world in.

And certainly does it have its rewards.

Like the feeling of a bass line vibrating through your chest or the sight of freckles disappearing into the creases of laughter lines. 

Like that feeling you get sometimes when everything is calm and you finally feel like a part of the world around you.

Like peace. Like love. 

Like light.

------------

I love you all so very much 💓 --ZoeBug

[mayalaen]

20 questions for fic writers

@whataboutthefish tagged me - thanks Fishie!!

First, my AO3

How many works do you have on AO3?

191

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

2,150,989

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supernatural, Stranger Things, Fargo, Stargate, Dickensian, The Blacklist, The X-Files, Angel the Series & Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I'm probably gonna pick up a few more soon.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

CONventional Psychopathy 'Verse - SPN AU Tumblr Ask Box Requests - SPN 40 ficlet challenge Alpha House 'Verse - SPN AU Resonance 'Verse - SPN canon verse with angel sounds Best Brother Ever - SPN with a technique that has gotten me the most questions from readers saying "does that really work?" Yes it does.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, but sometimes it takes me a while to respond because I get weird and shy about it at times. I love comments and read them over again when I need a boost!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually have angsty endings, but with CH challenge fics I go ahead and do shit I don't normally do - so Inside (SPN) would be the angstiest ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Splintered - ST fic where I throw a lot of shit at the guys but they all get a happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yup. I delete comments and asks immediately though so readers and followers hopefully never see any of it. I don't play that game.

9. Do you write smut?

SO MUCH. SOOOOO much.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Open Sesame Street Walker has to be the wildest one I've done. It was a challenge fic. A choose your own adventure style thing, and I wanted to make every outcome disturbing. I did it, but at the cost of ruining Sesame Street for myself and others 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup. CON 'verse is still being sold on a bunch of sites and the "author" is continuing to add more books to the series. I've tried a few times to get them taken down but only succeeded in getting things taken down for a few months. Out of all the fics that could've been stolen, that's the one that's the WORST because I'm also writing it as original fic and have been for years. I've got proof of that, but if retailers fight me on it when I try to publish, it's gonna suck.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. A few.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I wrote a few years ago but haven't in a while. I'd like to do it again!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

No way I can answer that. I'm definitely a multshipper at heart, and I can't even decide on favorite characters, let alone a favorite ship!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Rewritten in the Stars is something I'd love to finish, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to get in the headspace again. It's complicated and rewrites aspects of the characters while sticking closely to canon with a lot of moving parts over a 30-year time frame. The first part of the series feels complete if you read it, but I have 30k written of part 2 and a full outline for part 3.

16. What are your writing strengths?

The thing I get complimented on the most is my worldbuilding. I also think I'm good at natural dialogue - making it sound like actual speech instead of written word.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have trouble condensing things and it gets wordy 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've kinda sorta done it with alien language and angel language, a few words here and there of other languages - most of it just English in italics to show that it's not being said in English. I don't think I'd ever try and use an actual language I didn't know for more than a word or two.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stargate SG1

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

CON 'verse is and probably always will be my favorite. 💜

Tagging from my activity list with no obligation to do it: @actualalligator @medusapelagia @wheels-of-despair @kallisto-k @ltleflrt @peachonified @underwater-ninja-13

If anybody else wants to play, please tag me so I can see your stuff!

[the-ravenclaw-werewolf]

Thank you so much for this! The quotes and characters fits so well! Let me return the favor!

MCS (WE): (In)Accurate Dialogue

Part 2!

1

Saitama: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Kobayashi: *turning to Gojo* How tall are you?

2

Italy: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life. Yuuri: It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back. Fujinuma: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thanks for finding this! Levi: My will to live. I haven’t seen this in 15 years. Saitama: Ha! I knew I lost that potential somewhere! L: Mental stability, my old friend. Italy: … Guys, could you lighten up a little?

3

Mako: What if mayonnaise came in cans? Hanako: That would suck because you can't microwave metal. Senku: Good morning to everybody except these two people.

4

Rin: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Soma: You and me!!! Rin, tearing up: Okay.

5

Ciel: Someone will die. Emma: Of fun!

6

Edward, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Haruhi: You did WHAT– Senku: William Snakepeare

7

Iruma: What do you think Hanako will do for a distraction? Tanjiro: He'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Tanjiro: ... or he could do that.

8

Langa: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Kuroko: You’re a hazard to society Hinata: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

9

Korra: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Izuku: Korra no. Zuko: Mistlefoe. Izuku: Please stop encouraging her.

10

Mafuyu: What time is it? Haruka: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out Haruka: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Ciel: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Haruka: It’s 2 am

11

Spike: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Gojo: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. U-1146: I personally was created in a lab. Italy: I just straight up spawned.

12

Serinuma: Hah! 69! You know what that means? Mob: What? Saiki: That you're a child. Saitama: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

13

Fujinuma: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people? Yuuri: Plane tickets? Kobayashi: Concert tickets? Gojo: Prostitution? Fujinuma, holding his broken frames: Glasses.

14

Korra: Zuko isn’t answering his phone Izuku: I’ll call Korra: Italy and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Zuko: Hello?

15

Edward: Rules are made to be broken. Haruhi: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Hinata: Uh, piñatas. Serinuma: Glow sticks. Rin: Karate boards. Langa: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Edward: Rules. Haruhi:

16

Gojo: Pre broth, is an amazing stage! It's when you're the most alert! Levi: Good, cause some need to be alert tonight.. This "Snake Juice" is basically rat poison. Everybody's wasted. Italy: You don't even know one thing! I didn't even say one thing! And she asks me the whole thing, and I didn't even do it once! Spike: I'm, like, an elephant. Okay? If I walk into a room, it's like 'Okay, he's in there.' Kobayashi: I'm gonna tell you, that... that bitch over there. I'm gonna tell... I don't mean to brag. Fujinuma: Baba-Booey. Saitama: Turn this music down. [singing] Farts and boobs and love and stuff... macaroni salad... Heine: [rapidly speaking gibberish in German] U-1146: [Laughes, coughes, then drinks more snake juice] Yuuri: [wearing a party hat and dancing frantically] Fujinuma: Is this everybody? Levi: Gojo and Spike took a cab. Itay's in the trunk. L's on the roof. Where to first? Kobayashi: Your mother's butt. [everyone laughs except Levi] L: I'm so alone.

Sooo... @the-ravenclaw-werewolf ...

Remember your dialouges...

Well, here's some more! :D

MCS(WE): (In)Accurate Dialouge.

1.

Hinata: I've sent good vibes your way... They're coming. There's nothing you could do to stop them.

Saiki: That is the most threatening way I've been cheered up.

2.

Emma: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Emma and Hinata, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Italy: Our turn! Ready? One, two, three- vanilla!

U-1146, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

3

Korra: I think we're missing something. Izuku: Teamwork? Soma: Cohesion? Zuko: A general sense of what we’re doing?

4

Killua: *Gently taps table* Ciel: *Taps back* Emma: What are they doing? Ryuzaki: Morse code. Killua: *Aggressively taps table* Ciel: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

5

Neagi: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Senku: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Mako: Smad.

6

Tetsuya: If I went missing for a like say a week, do you think you'd be alarmed?

Hinata: I think so?

Tetsuya: Oh that's nice, I didn't think you'd be alarmed.

Hinata: You're my friend.

Tetsuya: ... I don't like how you said that- you said it like you're-

Hinta: You're my friend!

Tetsuya: Wh- Okay stop yelling at me,

Hinata: YOU'RE MY FRIEND!

Tetsuya: AH- OH MY-

Hinata: I WOULD BE CONCERNED IF YOU DISAPPEARED!

7

Store Worker: Would a Spike Spiegel please come to the front desk? Spike, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Hinata and Mafuyu Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Hinata and Mafuyu, simultaneously: We got lost :( Spike: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

8

Ciel: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Emma: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Ciel: No! Four to five seconds! Emma: Too late!!!

9

Italy: What is your biggest weakness? Levi: I can be uncooperative. Italy: Okay, can you give me an example? Levi: No.

10

*Spike is standing around the broken coffee maker* Spike: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Tohru: ...I did. I broke it. Spike: No. No you didn't. Hinata? Hinata: Don't look at me. Look at Edward. Soma: What?! I didn't break it. Hinata: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Soma: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken. Hinata: Suspicious. Soma: No, it's not! Langa: If it matters, probably not, but was the last one to use it. Chika: Liar! I don't even drink that carp! Langa: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Chika: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Langa! Tohru: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Spike-san. Spike: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Zuko: Spike... Korra's been awfully quiet. Korra: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Spike, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand, so I punched it. Spike: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Spike: Spike: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Dude, this took so long- Especially that last one- dude, I'm gonna weep inside-