#love this silly sketch more than already finished art...

[barvin0k]

I am deeply convinced that ulfric has a special relationship with talos... (I'm crazy haha hehe hoho)

[preeningpisces]

you sound really fun!!

i've really enjoyed everything i've read from you before!

and honestly, i must confess – i think you're making me like kenjaku a little more xx <33

i honestly really liked that kenjaku one-shot! the dynamic was just so fun! i loved the build-up! and you know what? i can see the appeal in kenjaku! he's playful, clever, silly, willing to experiment (to a fault), but he's also... a little unattainable but in an attractive way?

anyway, i like your writing. and honestly? i think your smut is some of the best i've ever read because it reads as being authentic. like you know how to time things and how to build tension.

i also really love your art stuff!! i think it's super cool. i can't pick out your favourite drawings, but the ones that come to mind are the sketches of kenjaku, especially the diptych of one having kenjaku smirking and the other licking up his brain fluids, the one that you deleted but which i adore of kenjaku getting down and dirty with the kitty cat, and the pieta!!! which is so cool and which i keep on thinking about!

i hope i'll get to read more stuff by you!!

since you're slowly but surely converting me to the kenny love train, i would love to read more stuff about kenny xx BUT your characterisation of others is brilliant too xx i thought the overstimulation ones were pretty fun xx and the tinder one, too, was absolutely hilarious !! <33

Hihi!! Thank you :3 I certainly hope the people in my personal life consider me fun

This ask is dangerous. I’m about to be SO annoying - buckle up ‼️

If there is one thing you can say to unleash the menace within me, it’s to tell me I converted you into liking a character. Especially if they’re typically disliked

I know you said making, like in the process, but….

ONE OF US 🧠 ONE OF US 🧠 ONE OF US

YEAAA unattainable in an attractive way is such a good way to put it!! Your mind!!! I think that’s a large appeal for me - like you’ll never be on his level & he’ll never really love you (in my opinion). The toxic part of me really fucks with that. Striving for something you can never have is just MMMM degradation kink go brrrrr & they’re someone you can’t help but want to impress/seek the approval of (tho you should never tell them this; he’s already insufferable)

It kind of satisfies a personal philosophy of mine; that oftentimes yearning/wanting something is more pleasurable than actually having it. But maybe that’s just a pretentious way of saying I like the chase

(to a fault) TOOK ME OOOOUT - his curiosity really is his greatest strength and greatest weakness

Ugh that just makes me so pleased to hear—I really enjoy writing horny shit so the fact you enjoy my approach that much is just 🥺🥺🥺 I think they’ve all been similar thus far, so I hope to delve more into the spooky/yandere realm since I eat that shit up (and Kenjaku in particular just fits that genre so well)

AKSJDJHF F im glad you enjoyed the horny drawings. I posted it like 3 separate times with less and less pictures each repost (it’s like a whole comic - kind of) because I’d get too embarrassed LMFAO - I don’t think it’ll ever see the light of day

AND YES characters that aren’t kenjaku - after i finish the kenny one that was requested I have 2 posts in progress that include all of them!

One is 18+ (tho it’s pretty wholesome!), the other is lighthearted/silly and in the same vein as the Tinder headcanons. I also have a horny lil oneshot planned for satosugu x YN, but it hasn’t been started. Weirdly, I have a Mahito fic rolling around in my brain that is more plot centric. I’m pretty excited for it, but I’m still working out the details & whatnot

I swear I like other JJK characters 😭🙏 the brainrot is just intense it’s my Scorpio placements

It’s funny to me, but I also feel a bit bad, because I think a decent portion of followers came from my Nanami NSFW headcanons.

It’s like, you come for Nanami only to find endless kenjaku posting LMFAO like

(((if this applies to anyone i love yall & im sorry for being the way that I am 🥺💙🙏)))

BIG THANK YOU anon - this was like - i don’t even know how to describe it. You entertain my nonsense too much!!!! I’m indebted to you

I hope you have a lovely day <33

[lgcmaylin]

𝕾𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝕴𝖓 𝕬 𝕯𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒. Wordcount: 400

                    ✗ A glimpse into how Maylin spent her Chuseok holiday.

this was the perfect time to catch up on the homework and project that were slowly building away on maylin's desk. it was truly hard to put all her attention on school when she had so much practicing to do. however, this was her backup plan if the whole thing never worked out in her favor. degrees these days seemed to get you an advantage lately, even if it was a degree in Korea. the young woman had goals for herself, achievements she needed to meet before the end of her lifespan.

this holiday was seen as a blessing for not only her sleeping schedule but also the work she pushed off until the last minute. maylin normally isn't one to be a procrastinator, let alone wait so long to finish an assignment - but the excuse used for this one is that she was too busy perfecting her dance routines for the family concert. in her dark eyes, that was more important to her than a silly assignment that was probably going to get good critiques. drawing had come naturally to her, the pencil always flowed with ease that could keep her occupied for hours. maylin wanted that feeling of getting lost in her work again, not rushing it because something was due. maybe that's why she waited so long.

many thought she was weird for getting excited over such an important holiday for families to spend their time with one another, but that did not relate to maylin. at all.

she could care less if you want to be frank.

this was an opportunity that didn't come often. with the dorms being so empty and quiet, maylin felt like she was already on a blissful vacation. pulling out the wide canvas that she stretched herself, maylin made herself a small art studio in the living room of the girl's dorm. there was a white fabric that would keep the floors safe, underneath her as the paints were being prepared. her heart had fluttered with excitement, eyes scanning the sketch she already worked on beforehand. all she needed to do was pick up the paintbrush and begin her hour-long ( or more ) journey.

this is how maylin spent such a lovely holiday. not forcing herself on people or asking to spend it with someone else's family. while she was a foreigner, she wasn't a lonely one.

not by a long shot.

[gravitywasneveranoption]

A sketch of Circus Chica!!!! I drew her to resemble Helen Henny from Chuck E' Cheese ('90s) even more than she already does in the merch :D

I'll update this post with the finished art if I make it!

SHE IS LITERALLY THE REASON THAT I KIN GLAMROCK CHICA SHE IS SO SILLY I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[threegoblinart]

Your art is amazing!!! The style is sooo pretty. How long does it usually take to finish one piece? And what are some tips for a beginner artist?

Hi friend! Thank you so much, you're just lovely. ❤️

At the moment I'd say a real finished painting can be 8-12 hours of work easily when you factor in sketch thumbnails, practicing tricky things and doing more than one draft.

My Willow at the Window was probably 12 hours because I had to reteach myself so perspective stuff I haven't done for 15+ years since set design class in college.

The drawing I posted today is already 5-6 sketches in my notebook and one previous first attempt with watercolor.

All this time is often over weeks - I work full time, have kids and we have a stupid number of hobbies, lessons, so I draw and paint in little snatches of time here and there.... Frequently at around 11 o'clock at night.

Advice... Oh, settle in and let the Art Mom tell you a tale... No, just kidding. I could regurgitate the usual junk (okay it's not junk and very valid, good advice like - yes you have to practice, use references, invest in quality materials whenever you can, explore different mediums until you find your thing, etc.). But instead I'm going to say this...

Remember two things:

1) art should be something you do because it makes you happy

and

2) remember you're an artist no matter what and be fucking proud of that

About point one, at the end of the day making art should make you happy... So that will mean different things to different people some people can find joy being considered a professional in their field, having art be their source of income and some will not. And that's okay.

I learned this the hard way. I tried to be a professional in my field (theatre) and for a while it was great, but I burned out quickly and realized that tying my livelihood to my art did not make me happy. I did not fail, I learned where my boundaries are to be happy, healthy and creative. So now I draw just for fun, sometimes do small commissions for friends, etc. Maybe one day I'll try to do more (I do have goals, I'd love to do more commissions, have my art in a book, have a small print store), but right now drawing my DND characters and fanart and silly little mushroom houses makes me happy and that's enough. Our worth as artists is not determined by sales or contracts or likes or followers, that's a bunch of consumerist, capitalist bullshit and your art and you are inherently worth more than that.

About point two... You're amazing, yep you, and you're an artist. Art is simply the expression of creativity and imagination and inspiration. It doesn't matter if your art is something on chapel ceilings or the back of your maths notebook - it doesn't matter if it's entirely original (I ❤️ fanart and guess what that stuff on the chapel ceiling is just religious fanart). Are you doing something creative, imaginative or inspired - congrats you're an artist (que Newsies "We're a union just by saying soooo!!!") And there are no other qualifiers based on skill or ability.

Whatever you create is something only you can do.

While it's absolutely fine to work on improvement and goals - it is good to study others work and take classes and learn and seek to improve - be proud of what you're making no matter what because you made it and that alone is amazing!

I learned this the hard way... I stopped drawing for 10 years, and only started again 3 years ago (I'm, ahem, not super young) and I'm still learning to take this to heart. I struggle with comparison and self worth as an artist still, it's not a light switch I can turn off but something I work at (and take medication for - stupid insufficient brain chemistry).

Comparison does nothing but rob you of joy. Be proud of what you can do right now. Be proud of what you could make last week or last year or when you were 6. Be inspired by others, but only compare you to you - that way you only see your improvement and surround yourself with people who will hype you up no matter where you are in skill and ability.

... but also, like, practice ... a lot.

P.S. as bonus these pictures are one of the first things I drew three years ago when I finally said "fuck it I'm going to draw again" and my most recent quick sketch. They both are different in skill and ability, but I'm proud of both.

[mynameiskan]

Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, your drawings of Rufus and Cloud are just amazing!!! They're so adorable! And silly! And super hot!!! Not sure if you got asked this already, but do you have any plans to sell your art or open commissions to take on more elaborate art (e.g. full body and colors)? I saw that adorable piece of Cloud in the maid outfit and you mention doing one for Rufus as a butler. You mentioned selling them in your country (Vietnam in your bio?), so do you plan to sell them overseas?

Hi, thank you for your Ask.

I don't intend to open any art commissions at the moment. I did try to take on a few commissions in the past but I found no satisfaction nor fun in the process.

It's more exciting for me when I try my best to finish each of the requests from you guys. Therefore, I would like to continue doing free art requests for our Rufus x Cloud nation ✨

I can do simple watercolor (colorsketch) or inking requests too as long as they are no bigger than A5 size. Here is a sample for the watercolor sketch:

I'm not good at doing digital art so I can't do digi sketch or color sketch at the moment. Maybe in the future ✌✨

I would love to sell Rufus x Cloud standees or keychains in the future. However, I have no idea how to do international shipping. I will try to ask around my artist friends. If I can't sell them online, I can give any Rufus x Cloud fans a clean file to print out. I really don't mind as long as you guys use it for personal use only.

[prxttyvictim]

hello ♡ alright, thanks.

of course, i will. i doubt you will ever do anything that's truly bad, but i will let you know if you ever do something to upset me or anything. not in a mean way... i hope that doesn't sound mean, ahaha, i don't mean it like that. i just don't want any festering grudge to grow in our relationship or anything... so i would want to address any problems right away (: i do not think it will be a problem, though.

ahaha i do like that you're pathetic! i'm not sure what would be "too pathetic", but i don't think it'd be a problem with you. i like you a lot ♡ so cute. i hope you'll be yourself, though. i don't want you pretending to be something you're not—i'd like to know the real you more than anything. even if you don't like it.

of course (: it was a bit scary 😭 it was mostly just, well... horny people. lmfao. and also pedophiles... ugh. basically just what you'd expect. ahaha my definition of weirdo... ehh, i don't know. i can think of examples, but i don't know about an actual definition. yeah, the bad type of weirdo.

aww, you really don't have to do anything, okay? you're too sweet.

please do talk about yourself. and alright, i'll try my best to talk some about myself, too.

that's cool! ahaha thank you. no need to talk down on yourself, though. i bet your art is wonderful ♡ it'd be wonderful to me if it's coming from you no matter what anyway. i will tell you about my characters at... some point. same reason for not telling you about my cats... too revealing of my identity unfortunately! i am already being a little bit too obvious, but i feel that would be just incredibly obvious. ahh it's fine... anyway! yeah... that's very understandable. it's difficult. me too on writing stories about toxic relationships, ahaha, i have an unhealthy obsession with it... whoops. not except for yours, silly... yours is beautiful, too. you are not the exception!

yeah, i have the same problem... me as well! warrior cats... god, that was my entire childhood. i was so obsessed with it. i was actually kind of delusional about it—long story. as a start, you could check out https://www.poetryfoundation.org/ for poetry by more established poets or https://allpoetry.com/ for poetry by just about anyone (and some that's... reposted? by the website by more classic poets). i'll send you my account on allpoetry in another ask (don't post it please ahah) if you want to check it out (: yeah, perfectionism really is the worst. i've gotten a little better with it myself but it's still hard... i hope it gets better for you. you can do it! if you just start, that's the hardest part, and then you just have to keep pushing forward a little more, and you'll have made something that you can be proud of! maybe just try to finish something super small at first? like a little sketch or one page of writing. or for me, with poetry, i like doing a short haiku or a short acrostic poem to get started or at least get something done (: any effort is good effort!

understandable... i frequently forget how to do things, but that's what google is for! haha. that's cool! you should work on it more, if you want (:

thanks! i suppose i might be able to do both? i could do web development on the side if i had the time, maybe. who knows... (yeah, ahah, i was glad we're the same age, too.)

alright (: i'll send you pictures, too. your kitties sound so cute! love your descriptions of them. don't apologize for rambling; i love your rambling ♡

don't worry, you didn't take too long at all. i fear i may have taken a little too long to respond... whoops. i take a while. i'm glad you like my attention. i won't get bored of you, okay? (:

[other ask]

you're not burdening me at all, don't worry. i do want to talk to you! i'm happy to talk to you. i understand, it's just... not a good idea in my opinion. good luck with it anyhow.

-🪽

good morning!!! i hope you had a good rest as i did ^-^

thank you very much!! i will do the same! i'm pretty annoying when something upsets me so i'm sure i'll let you know lol, though i also doubt it'll ever come to that.

ughhh you're so mean... i suppose i can just be myself :( but if i end up scaring you away or something then i will be very sad. i only ask for your input because i really do struggle with my sense of self. i have a bit of a tendency to just mould myself to my partner's liking. hence why i really don't know how to act without one T-T

sounds like 4chan but worse >:( you're just as dumb as me in that regard, huh... i hope that was a long time ago. it'd make me sad if you still felt the need to go somewhere like that. and yes i suppose the "private chatroom" type of weirdo is self-explanatory lolol.

letting me do stuff for you is actually a service to *me*, not the other way around >:( it makes me happy to feel like i'm being helpful!

my art is just objectively bad though!!! if i practiced more i'm sure it could be good but i'm too lazy. you're flattering me too much you know. i suppose hiding your identity is the whole point of anon, so i guess i can forgive you.. >:( i'm impressed that we can relate on so many fronts! say something bad so i can stop getting so excited!!!!!

i looooved warrior cats. i'd read it on the ~30 minute drive to school every day, and i remember crying over the deaths in public.. i started with the dawn of the clans (i think it's called?) series and i'll always remember the vibe it made me feel. i miss being able to obsess over something like that T-T and i most certainly want to hear about that delusion one day. i kind of am starting to want to crawl into your brain. i'll try to sketch something after this, only cuz you were nice enough to encourage me. you're so smart.

i should revamp the visual novel and get help from my cute tumblr anon to code pretty menus and stuff. i'm sure you could do some sort of freelance coding on the side; i'd bet there's a good market for that! i wanna see pictures so bad... they sound so cute... and it may have been even more cute to hear you talk so fondly about them :>

well i fell asleep before i responded, so you win okay? it really does take me a while to write a coherent response so i'm sorry T-T don't make promises like that!!! you can just tell me if you're starting to get bored and i'll figure something out.. probably. i'm not very good at coming up with ideas.

don't worry about me, i blocked everybody except for one, and i suspect they'll say something to throw me off soon. be proud of me anon!!

as for your other askkk ^-^ i may or may not have stalked your account a little bit.. i will wipe the memory from my mind if you tell me to. i don't know enough about poetry to identify why i like your writing so much, so i just need to go with the shallow compliment of it sounding nice... i just spent 10 minutes rewriting a sentence trying to express how much i like it without sounding stupid, but alas i cannot. it's soothing to read somehow? the dumb website showed that there were an extra 4 pages and i was so sad when there weren't T-T i wanna read more.. i also feel that we can relate on a lot of subjects there too. plus your comments are all so sweet. adorable. (definitely didn't get jealous over a few poems.. that'd be ridiculous... i get attached at normal rates...)

your characters sound lovely! does it make sense to say that i really like the subject matter of your writing? it's that perfect mix between carnal and sweet. i can imagine your cute poetic metaphorical style in a narrative format and god i really wanna read it...

my timezone is eastern by the way! i'm in southern canada, meant to put that in my intro..

[mimbotomy]

Tag Game

tagged by the awesome @aeide​!

Last song: Zombie Zoo by Tom Petty: Super fun song, maybe some ridiculous lyrics, but I’ve always loved it and it recently cycled to be one of my favorites again. Also it makes me want to make like an A to Z playlist of my favorite songs sometime.

Currently watching: Yellowjackets! I’m not quite sure what it is about the show exactly, but it scratches an itch in my brain that I never knew was there. Unfortunately, it’s been slow going, because I’m watching it with my fiancé and we’ve both been so insanely busy with work and wedding planning. We just finished season one a couple days ago though and I’m so excited for season two.

I’m also rewatching New Girl and Psych, because it’s nice to have something fun to on in the background while I work.

Currently reading:  . . . I honestly don’t know - I’ve been so busy that I haven’t read an actual book in a long time, so I kind of have three answers?

I’m pretty sure I’m theoretically in the middle of Daisy Jones and the Six though, except it’s been so long that I’d probably have to start over to know what’s going on.

If you count reading specific myths and chapters for reference as reading a book, then it’s my encyclopedia of worldwide mythology. I last looked up some myths about Hephaistos’ birth and parentage to win a debate with my mom and the death of Orpheus for my fic There is No Escape. . .

And the last book that I KNOW I finished was Joseph Campbell’s the Power of Myth, which I read on a plane almost a year ago. It was fascinating and I highly recommend it to anyone who has even a passing interest in mythology and folklore.

Current obsession: Art & fanfic (& AC Odyssey) as per usual 😂 Or two specific projects at least? I’ve never really been around children much in my life - all my cousins are about the same age as me and none have kids yet - but I’ve been working as a math tutor and have been around more kids the past six months than the rest of my life combined. And for some reason, that made me super interested in learning to draw kids and age progression, which worked well with my other two obsessions.

So I did a bunch of sketches of Kassandra (who else) at various stages of her life just for practice and while I’d like to finish and post them all eventually, I’m initially planning to post my favorite three sooner rather than later. I’d like to do Alexios too at some point, and already drew him as like an eleven year old for a study for my future second time travel fix it fic.

That fic is not my current obsession though. My current fic brain rot is my silly Alkibiades time loop fic idea where he keeps reliving the day that Phoibe and Perikles die and tries to save them. It’s just outline right now, with a few tiny snippets, but I just can’t stop thinking about it! Which kinda sucks, because I have so many other WIPs and also a fic that I started posting bc I thought I would be done with the last chapter by now so I could post it in two weeks. Guess what - I’m not 😬

Tagging @auroralykos and @aetosavros and anyone else who wants to do this!

[cheese-ception]

1. What creation or accomplishment from 2022 are you most proud of?

From the sketches, definitely this one

https://cheese-ception.tumblr.com/post/699462104827199488/general-alatus-nuttytani-for-you

As for fics... hmm...

Probably

https://cheese-ception.tumblr.com/post/701377394779521024/j%C4%ABn-ch%C3%AC

2. Cut and paste some of your favorite reader/viewer comments on your work. We’re celebrating, people, and comments on your work is your champagne. It’s New Year’s, live a little.

Let's go with these three:

I said it once, and I’ll say it again. THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER, CHISA! Your love for him is immeasurable and it shows in every little piece you write for the little birdie ♥

(a reblog tag) You're my favorite xiao writer i hope you know this.

*inhale* This still looks amazing 8 hours later, Chisa!! I don’t know what led you to combine merman & barista into one prompt, I daresay no one has ever come up with such a pairing before, but please allow me to thank your wonderful mind for spawning this idea ? It just works out so well. When can I start making reservations at his cafe? Because I’d like to put my name down for every single day (and invite all the Twilight Visitors along, of course!) Love the smooth lines and his expression and his sweet little earing ^^ I hope you had a fun time putting it together, and thank you again for this!!!!

I’ve never been particularly good at accepting compliments, but each and every heartfelt comment means the whole world to me.

I hoard them like little treasures.

(´꒳`)♡

3. What stretched you creatively?

Honestly, I think mostly the fact that I somehow convinced myself to create again.

I tend to deny myself nice things at times, but this year I've indulged without any regrets.

4. What was the most difficult thing you created and how did you get through it?

Definitely all of my sketches.

The satisfaction gained from finishing them is always immeasurable, even if they make my tendons ache. They're my blorbos. Totally worth the struggle.

5. What’s one thing you’ve never tried to create that you might challenge yourself to create in the next year?

I really need to try to write more eloquently.

And give digital art another shot.

And perhaps not give up this time, lol.

6. What new fandoms did you discover over the past year?

New? Probably none tbh.

But the old ones still go hard.

7. What fan-works created by someone else inspired/excited you?

Here is where I will say what anyone who follows me was already thinking:

Pretty much all the fics written by my darling @venulus

A whole bunch of stories by my sweet @lorei-writes

But also all the gorgeous creations from the members of our @flash-exchange

Visit any of these to fall in love instantly.

8. What did you read or see that made you go, “I wish I had written/painted/created that.”

What a curious thing to ask.

I think I prefer to appreciate other people's works than to wish I made them myself, if that makes sense.

9. Who did you discover?

There's a whole lot of great people and their blogs that I have stumbled upon this year.

I wish I could plug everyone, but allow me to pick three again (it's a nice number after all):

@ikemendaniel

@scorchieart

@ladyofthemorningstar

(and ofc also you, @the12thnightproject - but that's bending things a little tho, since technically we already got acquainted in 2021, eheh <3)

10. Spread the fandom love – who makes you smile? [Yes, it is totally valid to write “everybody” in this space]

Everyone who takes the time of their day to look at my silly little posts, reacts or even just tags me in tagging games.

I am very grateful for you all, you utterly magnificent human beings.

♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

If you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged ♡

Content Creators...

Thinking about 2022 as we wave it goodbye and send it into the past. Let’s do a little bit of navel-gazing and patting ourselves and each other on the back and realize just how much we’ve accomplished over the past year.

So, for your blog, please answer (all or some) of the following questions. I’ll be working on my own answers over the next day or so.

What creation or accomplishment from 2022 are you most proud of?

Cut and paste some of your favorite reader/viewer comments on your work. We’re celebrating, people, and comments on your work is your champagne. It’s New Year’s, live a little.

What stretched you creatively?

What was the most difficult thing you created and how did you get through it?

What’s one thing you’ve never tried to create that you might challenge yourself to create in the next year?

What new fandoms did you discover over the past year?

What fan-works created by someone else inspired/excited you?

What did you read or see that made you go, “I wish I had written/painted/created that.”

Who did you discover?

Spread the fandom love – who makes you smile? [Yes, it is totally valid to write “everybody” in this space]

Tag yourselves in! Share the love! Party! Toast! Hugs! Rainbows! Unicorns! And a box of kittens!

[bestialchorus]

DATING YOUR ALT VAMPIRE GIRLFRIEND WOULD INCLUDE:

-Getting introduced to her as the new artist to join your go-to tattoo shop. You instantly felt a magnetic attraction to her, as if your inner soul demanded, no, needed, to step through the world behind those stunning eyes. As you admired your fresh tattoo, she almost out of no where appeared to your side and invited you to get a coffee with her then and there (you may have more than accepted, perhaps even stuttered a bit but she seemed to have found it endearing)

-Her apartment feeling like your second home. Everything from her large candle collection, family of plants, esoteric but tasteful design style bring you comfort.

-Her body not reflecting the inhuman strength she has, she often carries you to the bedroom bridal style and you’re always surprised of how little you weight to her.

-Feeling euphoria whenever she feeds on you during times of intimacy. You feel most connected to her then as it requires a high level of love and trust from both parties.

-Regardless of how long you date she always has a courting mentality and will find ways to both spoil you but also make you crave her (as if you needed anymore reasons). One day you come home from work and she’s waiting for you in her signature chair, wearing brand new lingerie (and red at that). She takes your stunned expression as a positive sign but still coyly asks, “it’s a bit much isn’t it? Perhaps I should return it to the store.” You almost short circuited then and there.

-You going on art exhibition dates as she has a passion and eye for all things visual. She loves holding on to your arm as you both admire a piece. She somehow knows the history of every piece you see.

-Her helping you study by promising a kiss for every question you get right and you suddenly feeling complete determination. By the end of the session you could be an ad for her favourite lipstick brand.

-Sitting on her roof’s apartment to stargaze and have deep discussions about the meaning of life and what it means to be alive. You quickly learn she’s a romanticist at heart.

-Her going full Gomez Addams every Valentine’s day for you. Somehow she finds a way to top herself every year.

-Her delicately running the edges of her fangs over you as she nips and kisses your flesh. She’ll repeat over and over again of how selfish you make her feel, how she craves you like no other, her beautiful language makes your head swim further.

-Her reading you some of her favourite poetry passages when you’re just lounging around together. It often ends with her getting caught up in the words while looking at you, chucking the book to the side and crashing her lips against yours. (Since you started dating her you’ve found a new respect for poetry for several reasons….)

-Her watching vampire media with you and often finding most depictions silly at first but always somehow becoming invested by the end of the narrative (and usually more than you for that matter).

-Her running the most extravagant and relaxing bubble baths for you to share. She loves washing your hair and lathering your skin with essential oils.

-Commonly going to a coffee shop together to finish up any work. You’re often finishing up homework while she’s sketching up a design for a client. Her espresso drink compliments your frappe. 

-One day, you’re sitting in her car and enjoying music like normal but something is off this time. Her eyes have been lingering on you, a mixture of mischief and something more behind her eyes. You almost feel like prey under a predator’s gaze and similarly have no where to run. Without even touching you, her intense gaze starts to make you dizzy and your cheeks warm. You finally see that signature smirk appear and without warning she lowers your seat back. She straddles you with ease and tilts her head as she looks down at you and licks her lips. She begins rubbing herself against you, making her intentions clear. She leans down to whisper against you ear, her voice already lost to lust, “do you want me to stop? We could-“ and something about the question makes something inside you snap. You shut her up but immediately gripping her behind and pushing her further against you. To this day, few sounds come close to her whimpers. 

[lucenties]

I found your blog today 😳🌟 can you order hcds from the bucci gang, with a crush artist? Normally you will see me drawing nonsense in my notebook or on loose sheets, I am also a huge art supplies nerd🤙😎

with an artistic s/o

I added some short scenarios to each so this one is a little long :0

requests are also open for a limited time. thank you to everyone for supporting my works!

⤷ team bucciarati ; gn!reader

— GIORNO GIOVANNA

♡ Giorno uses Gold Experience to create plants for all your paint-related needs. From flowers to berries to herbs, he’s got you covered for any kind of tint you could want.

♡ From common marigolds to the elusive middlemist red, he frequently uses his stand to get you all sorts of pigments. Even when you don’t ask him for materials, Giorno often tries out making new species just for fun. The leftovers are gifts; yummy berries for dessert toppings, flavorful spices for your favorite dishes, and stunning bouquets dressed in white bows.

♡ Although harming any life form created by Gold Experience would usually revert the “attack”, Giorno specifically generates his creations for the purpose of grinding them up for artistic use, rendering them perfectly safe.

“GioGio, these are wonderful!” Soil-covered hands reach out to examine the petals of Giorno’s newest creation, taking note of their small size. It’ll take more than a couple of them to make the paint. You’ve never even heard of Japanese indigo before, but seeing its bright purple flowers illuminated by Gold Experience’s ability confirms your notion that Giorno really knows what he’s doing. “You’re amazing!”

The sound of stone stroking stone falters for a moment before resuming again. Giorno bends down next to you, still grinding down petals with the mortar and pestle. He takes notice of the nice contrast between the flower and its foliage and tucks away the idea of suggesting you replicate the sight using the very watercolors that will soon be produced.

“They’re very pretty,” he agrees. “I’m excited to see what they look like on paper.”

“It’ll be more blue, right?” Giorno mutters in agreement before standing back up. You look up as he offers a hand and despite the blazing sun rays obscuring your vision, you can make out his soft smile.

“This batch is ready. Would you like to pour the water on it?”

Giorno sees your face light up in excitement as you scramble back inside for the boiling kettle. He enjoys this routine more and more each time, seeing you preserve the beauty of his creations in the beginnings of yours. It’s… comforting.

— GUIDO MISTA

♡ As soon as he sees you whip out your sketchpad, Mista is absolutely delighted. In an instant, he is beside you begging to be your next project. He demonstrates a few poses, switching between badass and silly. Sometimes, he keeps it up until late in the evening, going about his usual routine while sprinkling a few dramatic poses just to elicit sweet laughter from you.

♡ He’ll try to pass it off as a joke, but the truth is that Mista wants to be your one and only muse. He knows that you have a passion for art and he wants to be a part of that passion. In his mind, inserting himself into your art will make you fall even more for him by association.

♡ Mista loves the faces you make in sync with the movements of your pencil. Out of frustration or delight, it doesn’t matter. It’s a different side of you, more candid and almost vulnerable as you concentrate on sketching your latest creation.

“Please, please, please, [Y/N]. I just want a small peek! Lemme see what it is!” Your boyfriend is on his knees, pleading his case wholeheartedly to the point you can’t help but laugh at his antics.

“I already told you, I’ll show you when I’m done.” You try to be stern but Mista’s “puppy dog” expression, an awkward contortion of facial muscles, draws out laughter instead of mercy.

“But you said it was for me and I wanna see it already! I don’t wanna rush you to finish so let me look at what you’ve got so far and I’ll leave you alone.” You mentally curse yourself for mentioning it prematurely, knowing his reaction is to be expected of him.

“Then stop distracting me so I can finish faster.” Mista is left with a defeated look on his face and a boop on his nose with the pencil’s eraser as you go back to sketching out lines. It made your heart soar knowing that Mista was this wound up over a silly little drawing. As you make the finishing touches, Mista hovers closely over your form, patience having run thin long ago.

“Finally,” he draws the last syllable out. Heat rises to your face as you hand over the piece of paper, but you feel better when you see Mista still, awe spread out all across his face. Contrary to his actions a second ago, he is still as his lips curve upwards. It’s him and his Sex Pistols, gun proudly held up to his face mid-fight. Your admiration translates onto the paper. He can practically feel the care you put into the lines he traces with his fingers.

Mista is so lucky to have you.

— LEONE ABBACCHIO

♡ Abbacchio mostly lets you do your thing, choosing to give you space while the ink from your pen flows across the paper. He likes giving you “me time” so you can fully focus on your work.

♡ Other times, when he’s either run out of things to distract himself with or when he feels the passage of time is too slow for his liking, he pulls up a chair beside you. He doesn’t opt for much conversation. Abbacchio is content with simply being at your side and watching you.

♡ He feels at peace. You and your drawings are just so… mundane, in a good way. They offer a direct contrast to his chaos-filled job as a gangster, which often gets to a point that frustrates Abbacchio. Watching you enjoy pursuing your artistic endeavors reminds him that you are his anchor, the wonderful part of his life that is refreshingly normal.

It’s been twenty minutes since Abbacchio heard your frustrated groan and the shuffling of paper, ten minutes since he heard the screeching of your chair against the floor, and seven minutes since you settled back on the kitchen table. He glances up from his place at the fridge and sees an assortment of pages sprawled around you, some left completely disregarded away from arm’s length. Should he even ask?

“Leone, I hate doing paperwork. It’s so unnecessarily complicated.” You huff and scowl and scribble away your frustrations. “And they expect me to pay to process this? I legally have to fill it out.”

Abbacchio walks towards you and notices that the very paperwork you complain about is the one across the table and you are, instead, drawing on a loose leaf sheet of paper.

“You know, you’re gonna rip that if you keep pressing so hard,” he teases, standing beside you.

“I know, I know. I’m just really annoyed. I thought maybe sketching would help me blow off some steam.”

It takes Abbacchio four minutes to silently take a seat next to you. He’s quite amused with your sketches. He knows you’re not putting your full effort onto them, but he thinks they’re cute.

Fragments of your pink eraser are wiped away, discarded on the floor. The sharpie in your hand makes faint noises as it is dragged across the page and Abbacchio takes it all in. Your face has softened by now, growing expectant when you show him your work and content when he mutters in praise.

It doesn’t take any longer for Abbacchio to become aware of your relaxing effect on him, a soft smile displaying itself at the feeling.

— PANNACOTTA FUGO

♡ Similar to Abbacchio, Fugo likes to watch you draw from time to time. He does, however, develop an interest in creating art so the two of you can share a common hobby.

♡ He picks up a couple of art books, from the ones that show basic pencil strokes and shading techniques to the step by step children’s guides. He fills them all out and practices when he’s alone (he’s too embarrassed to admit what he’s doing) which leads to many crumpled wads of paper littering his desk.

♡ One day, Fugo pulls out a loose sheet of paper and doodles a quick little animal. He nudges it in your direction and despite his nonchalant exterior, you can tell by the way he avoids meeting your eyes that he hopes it has gained your approval.

Your boyfriend absolutely loves Friday evenings.

As soon as he hears the jingling of your keys and the creaking of the front door, Fugo is at your side offering to take your bag for you. Dinner is already made and the table is set, all that’s left is for the both of you to enjoy your meals. Fugo listens to your work stories, letting you ramble on about your day. He actively pays attention and contributes quips here and there even though he's been waiting all day to show you what he can do.

While you offer to wash up the remaining dishes, Fugo sets both sketchbooks and an array of colored pencils down on the dinner table for your weekly "art night". It's almost embarrassing how excited he is to show you how much he's improved; he feels like a child presenting a macaroni necklace to their parents. He just hopes it comes out right and doesn't piss him off.

"What are you making tonight?" You have already taken a seat across from him and have begun mindlessly dragging a pencil across the page.

"Not sure yet." Fugo shrugs nonchalantly and tries to hide the fact that he's been practicing this specific drawing of your favorite animal. Maybe you hadn't noticed the crumpled up papers hidden in the trash bin.

Fugo is almost done, except for the stupid eyes that just don't look right. He knows he's followed the book's directions, he has them memorized word for word, but he just can't make his hands do it. By now you've noticed his frustrated face and excessive erasing.

"Let me take a look, Fugo."

Before he can even say no, his work is now in your hands.

"It's not even that good, you know." He looks away cool, pretending not to care but the blush rising to his face betrays him. He hates disappointing you.

But instead of a grimace, Fugo sees a wide smile on your face that he swears will be the end of him. "It looks great! You're such a quick learner, babe. It looks like it has a lazy eye, but I think it makes it even cuter!"

Fugo strives for perfection in nearly all of his work, but if lopsided eyes will make your smile widen just a little bit more, he will gladly mess up any drawing for you.

— NARANCIA GHIRGA

♡ Narancia is fascinated with your talent. How are you so good at making all those drawings? You make it look so easy that he can’t help but shout out compliments.

♡ He’s the type of person who asks you to draw things for him. Not complicated pieces; Narancia is content with literally anything as long as you make it for him. He just likes your drawings and wants to see everything in your style!

♡ You made a little sketch of him once and presented it as a gift. You shyly insisted it wasn’t your best work and that it was just a little something you whipped up as a warm up, but it made Narancia tear up. He’s kept it in his wallet ever since.

There was nothing quite as frustrating as having all your supplies out and ready to use only to realize you have no idea what to make. It’s so frustrating that even Narancia took immediate notice of your slouched form and furrowed brow, coming to the oh-so-elusive conclusion that something was bothering you.

“What’s wrong, cutie? Why the long face?” He pulls up a stool next to you expecting to see another one of your beautiful works only to find you staring holes into a blank piece of paper.

“I just… I don’t know what to draw,” you sigh, running a hand over your face. “I got a sudden burst of motivation to make something but I don’t know how to start, I guess.”

Of all the reactions he could have made, you weren’t expecting him to laugh. His small giggles are teasing and even though it’s at your expense, you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face as you try to glare at him.

“It’s not funny, you know,” you pout.

“I’m sorry, you're just so silly. You can draw anything, why are you struggling to pick? Just draw Aerosmith.” He looks at you like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’ve drawn Aerosmith too much. I wanna make something different.”

“Not enough! Never enough!” He’s jumped out of his seat by now and you can see the faint glow of the little bomber plane manifesting behind Narancia. He quickly maneuvers the stand around the room, mimicking shooting noises along with the movements of the plane. It’s incredible how much he reminds you of a little kid just having fun.

There’s no way you can deny him his request, so the next hour or so is spent making little sketches of Aerosmith in action.

— BRUNO BUCCIARATI

♡ Bucciarati is your #1 supporter! His compliments are so sweet and welcoming that you find yourself trailing behind him as soon as you finish a piece so you can hear how proud he is of how it turned out.

♡ Whether or not you sell your art is irrelevant to him; he constantly asks for commissions. He requests specific details (“Make it monochrome”, “Add some flowers somewhere, please”, “I’d like a sunset”) but leaves lots of creative freedom to you. Despite your insistence to not charge him, claiming that you were unhappy with the results or that you simply wished to gift it to him, he does not falter and pays you a hefty rate for your work.

♡ Bucciarati buys you art supplies from all over the world. He uses his extensive connections to get you all kinds of materials, from French easels to Japanese stationery, nothing is enough for his precious s/o. He definitely gets you the best drawing tablet on the market to give you a hand with digital art.

Dates with Bucciarati are some of your favorite moments in the world because of how amazingly caring he is. He is a traditional gentleman, showing up at your place with a bouquet of flowers, opening the car door for you, and extending an arm for you to hold on to while you walk through the streets of Venice. He pays for your meals when you go out to eat and a smug smile adorns his face when he sees your overwhelmed expression when you realize the bill was in the triple digits for the night. Bucciarati loves that expression.

Bucciarati also loves spoiling you. On one of these dates, you notice a medium-sized box laying on the front passenger seat, your usual spot. It is wrapped in minimalistic white paper and topped with a cute golden bow and you can’t help but pick it up to examine. “What’s this?”

“It's a gift, darling. For you.” Bucciarati smiles at your curious face before stepping inside the car. He pats the seat beside him, motioning you to accompany him. “You can open it right now if you’d like.”

You give him a lovingly wary look; it was not uncommon for his gifts to be expensive and it made you feel bad sometimes that he invested his money into you. Curiosity got the better of you, however, and after some hesitation, the white paper was carefully discarded onto the car floor. Once you take a good look at the gift, your eyes go wide.

“They’re oil paints,” Bucciarati states. “I especially commissioned them from Belgium. They were made with the finest ingredients they had to offer, so make sure to make a special masterpiece with them.” Arms are flung to envelop Bucciarati into a tight hug, with some Thank you, thank you! being thrown around in a loving shout.

[therenlover]

The Boy With The Easel (A Young Artist!Helmut Zemo x Reader Oneshot)

(Hey! If you end up enjoying this fic, it’s the first chronological part of a new fun expanded AU I’ve created with @creme-bruhlee​! Their fic Bliss is part of the same timeline and takes place about a year after this one, so you should check it out!!!)

Synopsis: About a month into your first semester at Novi Grad’s top university, you finally meet the strange young man that you’ve taken to calling “easel boy” in the back of a bookshop. From a distance, he always seemed cold and aloof. As you get to know him, though, you realize things aren’t always what they seem.

Tags: Meet Cute, College AU, First Meetings, Coffee Date, Artist!Zemo, Embarrassment, Awkward College Kids Falling In Love

Rating: T

Warnings: Very Vague Mention of Sexual Content, Swearing, Zemo Says The Word Daddy In Reference To His Father and The Reader Thinks It’s Kinda Hot

Word Count: 7000~

This fic has been crossposted to my AO3!

------

                                    The University of Novi Grad

                                                 Fall 1996

Mornings in Novi Grad could be beautiful if you knew what to look for.

Sokovia was… different from America in many ways. From the language to the scenery, you often found yourself adrift in the strangeness of it all. There had been nothing quite as old as the buildings in the historical district of Novi Grad back home, no towering grey behemoths serving as a reminder of a bygone fight against Soviet invasion in the memories of your childhood. Still, though, there was beauty in the strangeness nonetheless.

From your tiny room in the Helena Lyudmila International Scholar’s dorm, for instance, you had a perfect view of a large campus courtyard hosting a statue of the donor by the same name. She was some royal who had invested in education a few hundred years ago, and by the looks of her metal likeness, she had been quite pretty. The sight of her shining in the early morning sun was one of the things that made uprooting your whole life seem worth it in the end, no matter how silly that seemed.

There were other small comforts that you had found beauty in during your first month attending your prestigious university, too.

You found beauty in the way the sunlight streamed over the rooftops like the opening to an Oscar-winning film. In the sound of traffic below and the overcast skies above. Sandwiches from corner stores, wildflowers growing in the median of the road, cups of the worlds best black coffee served steaming by scowling attendants at the cafe; Everywhere there was something small and kind and just familiar enough to relish in, more than able to distract you from the stress of living hand-to-mouth in a country where you didn’t even know the language. It made it all worth it.

That being said there was something else too…

Someone else to be specific.

The campus tended to run like clockwork. The same groups of students would walk past your window to their classes, the same professors would get their coffee and lunch at the little cafe across the square, and every weekday morning at 8 am on the dot, easel boy would set up his palette and canvas and paint the same bustling street.

He was talented, that you couldn’t deny. Even from the 6th floor, which was a considerable distance away, it was possible to admire the detailing and consistency with which he painted. His talent wasn’t when kept you captive at your window in the morning, though. Though you were sure his art was beautiful, he himself was a thousand times more stunning.

All dark eyes and dark hair and dark clothes, he parted crowds with his piercing gaze alone. He was always dressed like the protagonist of some awful artsy film. Massive argyle sweaters, untucked button-ups, corduroy jackets, and flare bottomed pants that must have survived his father’s wardrobe from the ’70s… his style was as close you could get to atrocious while still being impeccable as possible, and that wasn’t even getting started on the smudged black liner always present under his persistent gaze. You had never had the pleasure (or embarrassment for that matter) of meeting him in person, but you were sure that you would have had the same awed and slightly frightened reaction if you ever did. He could have been plucked entirely from the pages of some awful romance novel.

You were well and truly smitten with the idea of him.

If you looked at your morning routine through the eyes of a stranger, you’d consider yourself odd for your strange obsession with him, but you didn’t look at it like that. It wasn’t an obsession. You never overstepped your bounds. He was simply pleasing to look at and so you did. That didn’t constitute as obsessive, right?

Even if it did, you weren’t causing any harm.

Easel boy, as you had come to refer to him, was simply a tool you used to ground yourself in your new and frightening environment. Nothing more. If you ever met him, you would surely hate him from the short interactions you’d seen him have with strangers. They never ended well. He would remain an unattainable, attractive ideal in your mind until he eventually faded away into a funny memory you’d share with your kids one day.

Until then, though, you would watch him from your window before your morning classes and refused to feel guilty about it. So, that was that, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

On the morning in question, you had woken up a little late and in a foul mood. In preparation for a test in your foundations of algebra course you had spent the better part of the night pouring over formulas while your upstairs neighbor’s bed slammed repeatedly into the wall and floor. Though you were sure they were having an excellent time, you were most definitely not. It all culminated in you missing your original alarms and despite the fact that your first class started at 10, you were exhausted, furious, and not looking forward to missing breakfast to finish the assigned reading you had put off the night before. The only thing keeping you from throwing in the towel and just giving up was the promise of seeing the painter.

So, when he arrived for the day at 8 am sharp, you were positioned at the ledge by your window, textbook in hand with a mug of instant coffee at your right. It was like a breath of fresh air.

As usual, he retrieved a small pack of cigarettes from the back of his eternally paint-stained jeans only to bring one to his lips and light it quickly. He always smoked before he worked, and just like always, he took an extra cigarette from the pack to tuck behind his ear for later. Then, he got to work setting up his easel and the small stool where he set his palette.

Pulling tubes of acrylic, brushes, and pencils from his well-worn messenger bag, easel boy flipped out the kickstand without any problem and set his thick, pre-primed canvas on the worn metal. You watched in fascination. Art had always seemed so unattainable to you. Instead, you were drawn to the more academic. The man before you, though, created beauty with an ease that had evaded you all your life, and it had you both jealous and entirely intrigued. Slowly, you reached down to take a sip of your coffee as you let your eyes drift back to your reading.

Learning about ancient Babylon was far less interesting than watching him, though.  

When you next looked out the window and away from your work the handsome artist had created his base sketch already. How did he do it so fast? You assumed it was practice. He had been drawing the same 3 buildings every weekday morning for at least a month, so after a while, it must have been second nature to measure out the lines and put things into perspective. You smiled. He tended to have that effect on you.

The process was repeated until a little before 9:30. You would read a few paragraphs then look up to watch the painting progress from a sketch to a full-fledged work of art. It was good today from what you could see. The colors were a bit more muted than usual, but that was only on account of the awful, dreary overcast sky that threatened to dump rain on the city at any time. Overall, you would have considered it a masterpiece. Easel boy didn’t seem to think the same.

He regarded the painting with a sort of begrudging satisfaction that bordered on disappointment before he pulled the second cigarette from behind his ear, lit it, and began the process of packing up his materials. You finished the last of your coffee watching him do so. Smoking, well, smoking tobacco at least, had always been a vice you had avoided and yet you often wondered what it would feel like to take a drag of one of his cigarettes after it had been between his lips. Then, the magic lifted.

He folded up the flimsy easel, tucked it away with his materials back into his messenger bag, hoisted the stool under one arm and the painting under the other before taking off at a brisk clip down the street away from your window. You watched him until he was out of sight.

You were snapped from your concentration by a knock at your door.

“Y/N,” a heavily accented voice called, sending you scrambling for your bag, “If you are not outside in the next 15 seconds I will break down your door,”

Shit.

“Coming, Sasha!” You wailed. It took about 10 of those seconds to grab your backpack and shove your textbook inside, an extra 2 to check your appearance in the mirror- you looked slightly disheveled, but it was the best you were gonna do after the night you’d had. Besides, it wasn’t like you were doing anything important. You didn’t need to be dressed for a date -and you were opening the door for a quick save at the 14th second. Your door was safe for another day.

Out in the hall waited Sasha Balandin, arms crossed and grey eyes piercing in the flickering light of the terrible overhead fluorescents. As a fellow international student, you had become fast friends with Sasha. He was a little rough around the edges, and definitely didn’t take your bullshit, but he was a rare friend. “I have been waiting for 10 minutes,” he griped. You tried your best to look apologetic. “Don’t do that,”

“Do what?” You asked, closing and locking your door behind you as you began walking down the hallway.

Sasha huffed. “Do not pretend you were not too busy ogling that painter in the courtyard to hear me knocking on your door,” His Russian bluntness was on full display now as you shook your head in mock disbelief.

“I can’t believe you’d accuse me of something like that!”

“It is not an accusation if it is true,”

“There’s no way you know for a fact that I was watching him again,”

“But you were. This happens every week,”

You sighed, pausing at the top of the stairs. “I was,”

Taking the stairs in twos, Sasha sighed. “You are too soft, Y/N. Besides, you have said so often that he seems like an asshole. Why do you continue to get all mushy at him out the window if this is the case?”

“Because… well, because…” for a moment, you floundered in search of an answer that wouldn’t make you sound like a complete freak, but you found that there really wasn’t one. It came down the one small factor. “He’s just really hot, okay?”

The look Sasha gave you could have killed. He kept his mouth shut, though, choosing to let his silence shame you more than anything else did. It worked. For the entire trip down the stairs and the mile-long walk to your lecture hall, you felt the weight of shame heavy on your shoulders. Or maybe it was just your backpack. You didn’t know which you’d prefer. He did start speaking again eventually, going on about some party you had missed in favor of studying, but the feeling never left. Even as you sat down for your lecture it was still at the forefront of your mind. In fact, you were so busy thinking about your crush on easel boy and the problems with it that you barely paid attention to the professor’s rehashing of the Epic of Gilgamesh.

Your error only hit when the professor flipped the PowerPoint to the final slide.

“Before you go, I want to remind you that you have a paper on the importance of Enkidu in the Epic is due at the beginning of class this Friday. The details and requirements should be listed in your syllabus. Class dismissed,”

Fuck.

Friday was only two days away.

You were so screwed.

The problem was, you didn’t have a spare copy of the Epic of Gilgamesh just lying around your dorm room. Usually that wouldn’t have been an issue, the professor for your current history course used English for her slide because her particular history course was specifically for first-year international students. Unfortunately for you, though, you hadn’t been taking notes. Instead, you had been daydreaming about how it would feel to have easel boy blow his cigarette smoke in your face and then subsequently scolding yourself for having thoughts like that about a total stranger. In a terrible twist of fate, the professor only held office hours after her last classes on Mondays and Fridays, so even getting the information from her then was off the table. Dread began to pool in your stomach.

Any other student would have been able to cut their losses, rent a copy from the library, slog through it in a night, and write the damn essay even without the help of the classroom slides for context. The only problem was all the books in the library were in Sokovian, and you still barely knew how to order a coffee correctly. Reading the language in a full Cyrillic alphabet would just be impossible, especially for a book as stupidly old as the Epic of Gilgamesh.

In short, unless you could get your hands on a copy in the next day or so, you were absolutely, well-and-truly fucked.

Sasha was quick to find you as the hall cleared out, waiting near your seat as you packed away your notes. “That was all bullshit, no?” He asked, but the second he took in your slightly panicked expression he stopped short, pinching the bridge of his nose and breathing deeply. You knew what he was going to say before he ever said it.

“Something is wrong. You were not paying attention. Were you thinking-”

“Yes. Okay? Yes, I was thinking about him,”

He shook his head slightly. “I am concerned for you,”

“Who isn’t?”

Despite his usually stoic demeanor, that made Sasha huff out a soft laugh. “You got yourself into this mess, Y/N, you will get yourself out somehow,”

Your jaw dropped as you slung your bag over your shoulder and started making your way towards the door. “You’re not gonna help me?”

“Though I would love to be helpful, you forget that my English is poor. It will do me better to read the book in Sokovian myself than to use the information from class,”

Oh, yeah. You winced. “Sorry, Sash’”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” he shrugged as you walked out onto the lawn, chilled to the bone by the wind that whipped in every direction.

A storm was brewing. It might not fully take hold of the city for a few hours yet, but it would make the walk to your evening class absolute hell if the rain fell as hard as it had several weeks prior. You could only hope that it wouldn’t start until after you had walked home. Your odds were looking slim, though, based on the way you could already hear thunder clapping in the distance. After a moment you hit the edge of the sidewalk where your paths would diverge.

“Good luck with the paper,” you offered weakly.

Sasha replied with a sharp, “Good luck with your crush,” and then he was off in the opposite direction without another word. Sasha was blunt like that, never overstaying his welcome or lingering when he didn’t need to. There was something enviable about it. What you wouldn’t give to be able to simply say things as they were without an unnecessary sugar coating to save face and spare feelings. It lingered on your mind for the whole half-mile walk to the campus bookstore. Speaking of which...

There was only one place where you might possibly find an English copy of the Epic of Gilgamesh. It wasn’t the big student bookstore, most of the textbooks there had been in Sokovian, Russian, or German and you hadn’t even tried to set foot in their actual book section. No, your only hope was the tiny hole-in-the-wall bookstore you had stumbled upon during move-in. It was only about half a mile away from your dorm from any of your lecture halls, so you often found yourself wandering inside when you had time to kill. They were one of the only stores you’d come across that sold anything in English, magazines included, so despite the fact that the young cashiers rarely spoke your language you often found that the back shelves of that tiny shop kept you from going mad.

Now, they might also be keeping you from ruining your GPA.

You could only hope. If anybody could save you, it was them.

Ducking in through the small doorway, you were greeted by the soft ring of the bell above your head. The attendant at the register simply regarded you with a polite nod. You had seen her there before and she knew you barely spoke a lick of Sokovian, so she didn’t attempt a pleasantry. Instead, she simply let you wander through the entrance and into the towering bookshelves, passing a few other faceless shoppers on your way towards the back. You were grateful for her nonchalance.

If there was anything worse than feeling foolish for not knowing Sokovian, it was being talked down to in perfect English by a Sokovian citizen. Most interactions left you wishing you’d actually taken anything away from your high school French class other than emotional trauma from your teacher and a caffeine addiction. Damn America and its terrible public-school language programs…

The path to the English classics section was one you’d walked many times since discovering the book store. It was right in the very back corner of the shop, tucked away where the city natives wouldn’t have to address or see it. You had snagged a copy of Pride and Prejudice a few weeks back, so you knew exactly where to search. The only problem was slogging through every single book on the shelf in search of the one you were looking for.

Your eyes scanned the wall.  

Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh…

Gilgamesh!

On the 6th shelf up sat one small copy. Score! You were saved! As you reached up to grab it, though, you were met with yet another roadblock. The shelf it was on was juuuust a little too high for you to reach. Oh, come on…

You hopped a little, extending your hand up as far as it could go, but your fingers just barely brushed the spine. Somewhere behind you, you could hear footsteps. Then someone coughed to suppress laughter. The shame was plain on your face. As your flannel rode up and you stretched up in one last desperate attempt to grab the book when suddenly someone, you assumed the same person who had been laughing at your misfortune, spoke.

“They have stools, you know,” he said, accented voice thick with amusement. The English surprised you, but you assumed they used it for your benefit. You were in front of the English language books after all. Besides, the shame of it all kept your mind from questioning it too much. “For reaching the top shelf,”

Of course they had stools.

If your face hadn’t already been burning with embarrassment it definitely was now.

In a split-second decision, you decided playing dumb was the only way you could walk out of the situation with any dignity left at all, so you plastered on a confused smile and spun around to greet the stranger. “Really? I had no cl-”

You stopped short.

Oh.

Oh no.

You’d know those paint-stained jeans anywhere.

There, with his hands in his pockets and the most self-important, thin-lipped smirk you had ever seen, was easel boy in all of his cocky, intimidating, hot glory. Had you really noticed how hot he truly was before? It didn’t feel like it. Not now that you’d really seen him close up and reveled in the way his dark eyes hypnotized you with their smudged liner that felt borderline obscene. You could smell him too, all charcoal and turpentine and cigarette smoke. If you had it bad before when he was just a blurry ideal out your window, you were completely and utterly smitten now.

He regarded you with a sort of practiced annoyance, and yet there was a strange softness to it that you hadn’t found in many native Sokovians, especially ones that saw you as the stupid, bumbling American wandering blindly around their country.

“Would you like my help?”

“Huh?” You were so lost in his eyes that you couldn’t even focus on his question.

“To reach your book. Would you like my help?”

“Oh!” With a brisk nod, you stepped away from the shelf to make room for easel boy, ��yeah, I’m just trying to grab that one there. The, uh, Epic of Gilgamesh,”

In one swift movement, he was stepping right beside you to easily reach up and grab the offending piece of literature. The closeness of it all nearly sent you into a tailspin. That wasn’t even mentioning the way your heart thudded just a little faster when he finally handed the book to you, his calloused fingers brushing against your own. You barely find a grip on your brain strong enough to thank him through the fog of embarrassment and attraction. Eventually, though, you managed to choke out a placation as your eyes explored the cover of the book.

“Thanks for that,”

“It was no problem,” he shrugged. He didn’t move though, still standing just inches away from you. When you looked up from the book you found his eyes were still on you, watching intently as if he expected something from you. The answer to what he actually expected was a mystery but you could tell he wanted something. When you didn’t speak, he spoke for you. “So, The Epic of Gilgamesh? That’s definitely a bold choice,”

You looked up at him sheepishly through heavily lidded eyes. “It’s not a choice at all, actually. I’m only buying it so I can write an essay,”

“Ah,” Something about his tone was almost disappointed as the conversation stalled.

You quickly changed the subject to the first thing you could think of.

“Your hair is really nice!”

“My hair?”

“Yeah… your hair,”

Smooth move, dumbass.

Easel boy’s expression seemed to soften once more as his signature grin crept back onto his face. “Thank you, I grew it myself,” Between his accent and the way he was looking at you like he was going to eat you alive, you weren’t exactly sure how you hadn’t had a heart attack yet. Still, the attention was nice, even if it was bourne out of you repeatedly embarrassing yourself in a never-ending cycle of fuckups. He ran a hand through his loose brown hair. “I like your shirt. Very American,”

Silently, you cursed yourself for not taking a few extra seconds to pick out a better outfit when you woke up. Standing next to him, even while he was dressed in his paint-stained jeans and undone button-up, you looked like a wreck in comparison. He didn’t seem to be speaking from a place of judgment, though.

If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was being nice, but that couldn’t be the case… could it?

“Maybe it’s just that I haven’t met very many Sokovians that are fond of America, but I’m not sure if that was meant to be a compliment or an insult,” You joked. It was a bit sarcastic, the lilt of your voice masking your deep insecurity, and to your surprise easel boy laughed. He really laughed. From your place beside him, you could almost feel the warmth radiating off of him as he shook his head.

“It was definitely a compliment,”

Oh.

Your heart skipped a beat.

That was a new revelation.

You steeled yourself with a deep breath. Fuck it. It was now or never.

“I, uh… I’m Y/N, and you are?”

He regarded you once again with that strange expression of expectation. “What?”

“I asked for your name,” you repeated, and yet he still stood, slightly dumbfounded, staring down at you with that same expectant expression from earlier. For a moment, you almost thought he expected you to know it already. That fact was quickly glossed over when he moved to rub the back of his neck with his hand, eyes drifting down to the floor.

“Sorry,” he chuckled, “I’m not very good with people. My father thought college might help me finally connect with my peers, but I don’t think he expected that I was the problem, nor do I think he expected me to pick a degree in the arts,” Suddenly, he paused and stuck out his hand to you. “I’m Hel. It’s very nice to meet you Y/N,”

With only a moment of hesitation- because wow, your name had never sounded more right on someone’s lips -you took his large calloused hand in your own and shook it gently. His palm was warm, his fingers lingering on your own for just a moment even as he pulled away. It wasn’t much, just a soft brush against your flesh, but it sent a flash of heat and liquid confidence through your chest.

“Is that short for something?” Your eyes met his in the soft yellow glow of the overhead lamps. Seeing him like this, so up close and personal, he looked a lot more human than he had from your window. Sure, he was imposing. Underneath the initial harsh facade, though, was something softer and almost poetic. You weren’t an artist by any means but if you had been, you had no doubt that he’d be your muse.

“It’s short for Helmut, but only my father calls me that, and only when he’s cross, which, unfortunately, is most of the time,” he chuckled, “Besides, it’s an old man’s name. It doesn’t suit me,”

The words left your mouth before you knew what you were saying.

“Well, it’s better than calling you easel boy,”

Shit.

Today really just wasn’t your day, huh?

In the split second where you were mourning your chances with the most stupidly handsome guy who had ever shown any interest in you, you almost missed the way Helmut’s eyes lit up at the admission.

“Easel boy?” His voice was teasing, but not demeaning. That didn’t do much to ease your mortification, though.

“Is there any chance that I can get you to forget I said anything?”

“If you already have a nickname for me when we’ve barely met, I think you already know the answer to that question,”

His knowing smirk was enough to get you pleading. “You can’t just let me off the hook this once?” you begged, scrubbing a hand across your forehead in a desperate attempt to get away from his piercing gaze. The things those brown eyes did to you could be classified as obscene… “I will genuinely do anything if you don’t make me explain myself right now Hel,”

Hel quirked up an eyebrow. “Anything?” The way your stomach turned at just one word from him was both terrifying and extremely exciting. It felt like a promise. Without hesitation, you nodded. That made him smile. “In that case, get coffee with me today?”

Once again, you were rendered speechless.

“My treat,” he added, “unless you’re not interested…”

“No!” Your answer left your lips embarrassingly fast, “Or- yes? No, no, I think I meant no. No; I am very interested. Yes; I would like to get coffee with you,” There was a hint of shame in your words, but only a hint. After the day you’d had already, there wasn’t very much there to be ashamed of. Still, that same pit of dread began to open up in your stomach as you mulled over your choices.

Thankfully, Helmut continued to take it all in stride. “Wonderful! Is there anything else you’d like to do here before we go? It’s best we leave soon if we want to beat the rain,” He offered up his arm as he spoke like some sort of Disney prince. It was, by far, the cutest gesture you had ever been lucky enough to receive.

You linked your arm with his without hesitation. “As soon as I pay we can get going,” He was warm. It radiated off him in waves just like the warm hints of tobacco and wintermint that seemed to seep from his skin and clothes. With that, you made your way to the front desk as Hel shot you a sly smile.

“Who said anything about letting you pay?”

True to his word, he didn’t let you pay for a single thing for the rest of the afternoon.

The two of you made your way up to the cashier together, and Helmut only separated from your side to grab his wallet before you could grab yours. He then spoke in rapid-fire Sokovian to the lady at the register and pulled what could only be described as a wad of Sokovian koronas while you set the book on the counter, and from the looks of it, she seemed more than pleased with the two of you. Who wouldn’t be, especially when Hel seemed to insist that she keep the excess? In the end, after the book had been wrapped nicely in a paper bag and deposited in your backpack, Helmut held the door open for you like some sort of gentleman and followed you out into the grey afternoon.

Then, you were off down the street on Hel’s arm, pushing through the wind and the biting chill that had settled in the air.

“So, you don’t sound like a big fan of your dad,” you asked, half laughing as you attempted to broach conversation once again.

Helmut groaned beside you. “My father is a menace who is unable to understand that some people want more in life than to sit behind a desk all day making phone calls. In fact, most of my family is the same way. The only reason I haven’t completely cut them off and changed my name is the money,”

“I assume you get a lot of it if it’s worth sticking around someone you hate so much,”

“Never ask a man about his net worth,” he chuckled, gently elbowing you in the ribs, “but yes, I’m very comfortable. I have my own apartment just far enough away to be considered off-campus with my own car and as much money as it takes to keep me happy and getting good grades; Daddy makes sure of that,” The word daddy was a deep sneer, barely there in the wind, but something about it sent butterflies through your stomach. Well, that was never something you thought you were into… “Little does he know, I’m not here to make money. I’m here to find inspiration worth my time while out from under his thumb,”  

You snorted softly. “Artistic and rich? You’re just ticking all the boxes, Hel,”

“Good for me. Would offering help on that essay of yours endear you to me further?”

“Absolutely,”

The next 5 minutes you spend discussing the Epic of Gilgamesh. Surprisingly, in one of the first stokes of good luck you’d had all day, Helmut seemed to be one of the only people on earth who knew plenty about Enkidu off the top of his head. When he was the one lecturing you in his smooth, heavily accented timbre it was so much easier to pay attention to something so very tedious than when you heard it from your aging and often monotone professor. In fact, you were so enthralled by his retelling of the tale that you barely noticed you’d made it all the way to the cafe that sat across from the international dorm.

If you didn’t consider Hel to be smart as a whip and twice as clever as he was smart, you would have thought it was a coincidence. It couldn’t be though. No, there was no way anything was a coincidence with Helmut around. You shot him a smile when he opened the door for you and ushered you inside.

“You know Hel,” you muttered, “I’m starting to think you might know more about me than you initially let on,”

He shrugged. “You’re American, so it’s unlikely you live anywhere else and I wanted to make the walk home easy. It’s supposed to rain, you know? Besides, despite the… interesting waitstaff, they make the best pastries in town right here in this cafe,”

“Did you mean it when you said you were paying?”

“Absolutely,”

“Then I can’t wait to try one,”

The two of you were seated quickly (you assumed it had to do with the waitress finding Hel as hot as you did, because you caught her looking at him from behind the counter and whispering excitedly in Sokovian to her coworker at least twice over the course of the meal) and the conversation flowed easily as you waited on your coffees and the deserts Helmut insisted on splitting to let you try. Millefeuille, pear tart tatin, chocolate devil’s food cake, and a towering plate of apricot kołaczki awaited you, and they kept you sitting and talking and snacking for over an hour as you really got to know each other. The more you learned, the more you fell in love with the man across from you.

Over the course of the afternoon, you learned that Helmut was majoring in studio art while minoring in psychology just because it interested him, he hated the Beatles almost as much as he hated Freud’s theories on women, his favorite color was purple, and he spent most of his free time reading or getting high off his ass in his massive studio apartment in what you now knew was one of the most expensive areas in the city. He, in return, sat at rapt attention across the table as you gushed about your life in America, your reasons for going to university in Sokovia, your favorite books, and the ridiculousness that was trying to pass college-level classes in a country that seemed to avoid English at all costs.

Eventually, though, you did touch upon his nickname.

“I just thought it was really interesting that you did the same thing every single day, no matter what,” you explained, grabbing one of the last kołaczki from the plate and ignoring the powdered sugar that stuck to your fingers, “and by watching you… I don’t know, I guess it kind of felt like I had another friend who’d share breakfast with me in the morning if that makes sense,”

Hel nodded, swallowing his last bite of chocolate cake. “I understand completely. It can be lonely, coming to a new place without any friends or connections, but you were brave enough to take the leap. I admire that,” He brought his napkin to his lips before crumpling it and setting it one of the now empty plates before him, “But I can’t say I’m not a little disappointed that you didn’t watch me because I’m attractive,”

You nearly choked on your pastry. “Well, I wouldn’t say your pretty face didn’t help…”

The grin that spread across his face was heartstopping. He grabbed a napkin from the little holder next to the two of you and grabbed a pen from one of his pockets as he spoke. “In that case, you should join me tomorrow morning. Bring coffee if you can, I never have enough hands to bring a cup for myself, but even if you can’t bring some, if you want to come and watch me work I’d be more than happy to have a companion for the morning,” he paused for a moment, flustered, “or every morning, for that matter,”

“That sounds like a deal,” Your cheeks were hot, but not from embarrassment this time. No, it was anything but, because here you were across the table from a kind, attractive, intelligent Sokovian boy with money to spend and time to spare for you. You couldn’t help but feel a little bit proud too. He wanted you back, after all. You could see it in the way his eyes lingered on you just a little longer than he should, and even more plainly in the way he wrote his phone number in bold blue ink on the napkin and signed it with a doodle of a heart before passing it across the table to you.

“I’m going to go pay,” he said quietly while standing, “but I’ll be back in a second to walk you out. Alright?”

“Alright,”

There was something strangely similar to sorrow sitting in your chest when you watched him walk away. The sight of his ass as he went made up for it, though. Once he was obstructed by other patrons, you turned your attention to the napkin in your hands. Hel’s handwriting was neat as far as artists’ handwriting goes, but it still held a sort of looseness in its curves, a freedom in the way the numbers had flowed effortlessly from his pen. You popped the last kołaczki in your mouth as you admired the blue ink before devouring the final bites of pear tart and millefeuille. How had you gotten so lucky to have someone like him giving you his number and buying you pastries? You pondered the bizarre nature of it all until Helmut returned.

You stood quickly, folding the napkin and putting it away in your pocket. “Ready to go?”

“If you are,” he replied. In an instant, you were standing beside him again as he opened the door for you. The wind was even stronger now, strong enough that his loose hair whipped wildly around his forehead from the force of it. You couldn’t help but giggle at his appearance.

He caught you off guard as he walked you across the street. “You have such a pretty laugh,”

It was like you were seeing him again for the first time. You fiddled with the strap of your backpack as you got closer and closer to the door to your dorm. “Thanks. I’m pretty fond of your laugh too,”

Then, you were there, just two college kids standing awkwardly before your first departure.

“So,” you said before you could stop yourself, “when I tell my one friend all about this afternoon after my math class tonight, should I say it was a date?”

Hel’s cheeks flushed pink. “You can call it that, if that’s what you would like it to have been,”

“I think I would,”

“Good, good,” he let out a little chuckle, “I’m glad. Would you… would you consider going on another? I promise I have much more to offer than just small talk and tips on where to buy the best pastries,”

Looking into his brown eyes, so full of uncertainty and hope, you knew you couldn’t have denied him even if you wanted to. Still, you weren’t going to give in to his advances without a little bit of taunting. It made it fun, a game to be played where, hopefully, you both would win big in the end.

“That depends,” you teased, letting your lower lip catch between your teeth, “what do you have in mind?”

Helmut shoved his hands into his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his heels, pensive. “If you want to, we could go to my place and I could actually show you all of the paintings I’ve been working on while you watched me. The view from the rooftop is lovely too. We could have dinner up there while looking out over Novi Grad. I have to warn you, though, it’ll probably be takeout. I’m an atrocious chef,”

Slowly, a brilliant smile spread across your face. “Does Friday work?”

The smile Helmut shot back was as bright as every star in the night sky and even more enthralling. “Friday is perfect. Can I pick you up at 7?”

“As long as you come in that fancy car you were talking about,”

“Then it’s a deal,”

“Well,” you turned away, walking up the steps towards the door before turning back to him, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Hel, and I’ll bring coffee. Have a good night,”

“You too, Y/N. Parting is such sweet sorrow and all that,”

With that, he gave one last short wave before turning on his heel and pulling out a cigarette from the pack in his pocket. You watched him walk away until he turned the corner and disappeared from view. Only then did you enter the punch code and race up the stairs to your room.

Your back was pressed to the door of your dorm room the second you had shut it, your hands clutching at your chest in a desperate attempt to keep your heart from beating right out of your ribs. The second you were in the privacy of your own place, your cool facade had melted away to reveal just how much of a wreck you really were.

He had invited you over to his apartment.

He liked you.

Easel boy really, honestly liked you.

No, not easel boy. Helmut. Hel.

Hel liked you, and he invited you over to his apartment, and you had plans to meet him with coffee as he painted the next morning.

You smiled softly under the fluorescent lights and pulled the book that had brought you together from your backpack. It seemed so unassuming now, just a fresh paperback with an unbroken spine, but in reality, it was so much more than that.

Hel.

It was such a nice name. You liked it a lot.

Now you couldn’t wait to see what else you liked about him too.

------

a/n: I have been so excited to start sharing this AU with you guys, and it’s finally here!!! If you liked this fic, I once again will direct you to Bliss by @creme-bruhlee​ because that’s technically next in chronological order for this AU. I hope you enjoyed!!!

TAGLIST: @tatestripedsweater , @elaineygrace, @multiyfandomgirl40 ,  @lovelymischief , @rami-malek-trash , @avgravy , @wh0re-4-techno , @forcebros , @sugarsweetkiss , @grandmuffinsharkbailiff , @killsandthrills , @novasstudy , @thnksfr-ptrkstmp , @inmate-marmalade, @alanathedeer , @your-pixels-are-showing , @shit-post-things , @bbarton​ , @sux-ubus , @halefirewarrior , @janelongxox , @rax-writes , @mossybank​ , @simsiddy​ , @xxspqcebunsxx​ , @be-cautious-around-bri​ , @metaphorical-love-for-a-car​ , @frothonthedaydreams​ 

[polnareffenjoyer]

Uh unsure how many characters you’re willing to write for but can I have the SDC crew reacting to seeing their crush’s sketchbook filled with drawings and silly comics of them? On the case you do have a limit on how many, then I’m fine with either Polnareff, Kakoyin, Jotaro or Avdol (who can pick whoever if you want to!) Hope you’re having a lovely day!💕💕

This is such a cute idea anon, hope you like it. Also I don't really have a character limit, I wanted to do all of the crusaders but then I got tired and it already took me such a long time to finish it and ahhh. Sorry for all the grammatical errors, English is not my first language and it's already so late when I'm finishing it and it's just bleh. I hope you like it anyways, sending much love to you anon! ♥️

Stardust Crusaders finding their crushes' sketchbook

Jotaro Kujo

He notices that you've been spending most of your free time drawing in that sketchbook of yours. Truth be told, it bothers him a lot. Jotaro has had a big fat crush on you for a while now, and he secretly longs for your company. He can't admit that tho, he has a hard ass bad boy reputation to maintain after all. What would people say if the saw him all flustered for a girl? The fact that you would rather sit by yourself and draw than be around him and the others bugs him. So one day, when you're busy with something else, he takes your beloved sketchbook and decides to see what's in there. He knows he's being creepy, but he couldn't care less. Just trying to get to know you better, without actually talking to you. Exactly.

He's very flustered but would rather die than admit it. Has read through all of it, admiring every single little drawing. After he's done, he'll just put it back where he found it, it the exact same place just so you don't notice someone has been messing with it. You probably have no idea he had seen your sketchbook at first, but you surely notice the blush dusting his cheeks whenever he speaks to you from that day on. Probably avoids you for a little while because he's so flustered.

The rest of the crew also notices something is off, Jotaro is always lost in thoughts and smokes more frequently. He can't keep himself from thinking about those cute drawings of yours, reading through your comics was a true delight. It fills him with glee to know that HE, among all of the crusaders, is the one who's the main character in your stories. It makes him giddy on the inside.

His secret eventually comes to light one night, he accidentally admits to having read through your comics while a late night talk between the whole group. While you were talking, Kakyoin had brought up the topic of your sketchbook. Now it's your turn to be embarassed, blushing crimson while trying to get as much information out of him as possible. How much did he see? Did he read through ALL OF THEM?

The rest of the crusaders are shocked at first, but quickly they start to laugh at the scene. Jotaro is reluctant to give any information, but he eventually tells you that yes, indeed, he's seen EVERYTHING. However, doesn't admit what the content of the sketchbook really is. Despite everything, he would never embarass you like that.

After everyone goes to sleep, you catch Jotaro before he has a chance to fall asleep, lying on his sleeping bag while looking at the night sky. You want to apologize, say anything, just to talk to him, but you're unable to find right words. He just sighs.

"Yare yare daze, there's no need to be embarassed [Y/N], I'm not mad"

Your eyes light up at his words. You want to say something, anything, thank him, but before you get a chance to do so, Jotaro's deep voice cuts you off.

"To be honest, I think your drawings are amazing. I really liked them" you notice his face is slightly tinted red from underneath his cap "But if you wanted me to model for you, you could've just said so"

With that, he rolls over and away from you. Completely baboozled, you roll over as well and try to sleep, or at least pretend to be asleep. Honestly, neither of you had slept much that night.

Kakyoin Noriaki

Kakyoin had a thing for you since you joined the crusaders, and your sketchbook is probably the very first thing he had noticed about you. He's always been interested in art, his parents had signed him up to numerous art courses and whatnot through his life. He's always loved drawing and painting, using it as an escape from his daily problems, and seeing that you two might have something in common makes him incredibly happy, especially since he has feelings for you.

He'll try to approach you about your sketchbook very subtely, afraid that he might scare you away by being too pushy. Of course you get extremely flustered everytime he brings it up, but it doesn't discourage him. Kakyoin respects your boundaries and understands that you might not be ready to show him your drawings yet. Despite that, he's always willing to share his knowledge with you. He'll give you advices about proper shading while you two are waiting in the hotel lobby for the rest of the group to finish up picking rooms. During a long car ride, he'll talk to you about his favourite artists. If you want him to show you how to put certain shading techniques into practice, he'll be more than happy to do so. He'll just pick a random piece of paper and start drawing on it, you might want to lean in closer and maybe put your head on his shoulder to get a better look? He has no objections! Just sayin.

When he eventually gets to see your sketchbook, this man is so honored! He didn't mean to look, at first he though it was just some book lying around and wanted to take a look inside, out off boredom. Once he realizes what he's reading at, his face flushes with crimson. Your sketchbook is filled with sketches of him? This whole time you were actually drawing him, out of all people? He couldn't be more grateful that no one else was around, if someone saw him reading through your comics with this stupid smile on his face and red cheeks, they would've though he went mad.

Kakyoin wastes no time trying to find you. For a moment, he thinks that perhaps he should've waited a bit, just to get you alone and not embarass you infront of the whole crew. He can't think straight though, his mind filled with your cute little drawings, with his face drawn with black pen over and over again. With glee, he notes that you had used the very techniques he had told you about earlier. If you had drawn him so many times, does it mean that you have a crush on him too? It's too good to be true.

"[Y/N]! Can I talk with you for a minute?"

He goes to confront you immediately. Others give him a puzzled look, but he couldn't care less. He grabs your arms and leads you away.

"Don't be mad [Y/N], but I've seen your sketchbook and I have to say, I think your art is beyond amazing!"

You're at loss of words, your face red and you could swear that you've never felt so embarassed in your whole entire life. However, his reaction is making you feel a bit better. He's not mad, nor is he making fun of you. If anything, he seems enamoured.

"Please, [Y/N], we should draw together! Maybe next time we have a chance, I should paint your portrait?"

Despite the awkwardness, the whole situation turns out amazing in the end. How he's sure you must have feelings for him, and it makes him incredibly happy, hoping that one day, after your crusade is done, he'll get a chance to repay you and make that promised portrait.

Muhammad Avdol

With everything that's been happening lately, Avdol gets a little bit distracted from you. Before he would steal glances your way all the time, watching with curiosity as you would draw something in your sketchbook. Recently, he's been too busy fighting enemy stand users and... well, trying not to die. He still cares about you a lot and watches over you during fights, ready to shield you from danger with his own body, if it's what it takes to keep you safe.

It probably happens because of a mishap. While you are deciding on your rooming, you leave your sketchbook lying next to Avdol's things and go to the bathroom. After he's done helping Joseph with translating and getting everything done, he goes back and assumes that it's just one of his books that has fallen out of the bag. Not thinking much of it, he picks it up and leaves with Mrs Joestar to settle in their shared room.

You can imagine the panic and shock that nearly paralyzes you once you notice that your beloved sketchbook is gone, nowhere to be seen, reduced to atoms! You begin to look around frantically, looking under the furniture while sweating profusely. Other quests give you weird looks, but you don't even notice them staring. Polnareff is one of them, he asks if you're okay and tries to calm you down, but to no avail. After he leaves, you try to focus really hard and try to remember - when did you see it last time? It was on that chair for sure when you left. God, you can only pray that it doesn't end up in Avdol's hands somehow...

Meanwhile, Avdol is getting ready for shower and goes through his bag. He notices the book he picked up from the lobby isn't even a book, but a sketchbook! Now he's sure he must've picked it up by mistake, he decides it would be best to put it down and not look through it. It's someone's very personal art after all, it would be very disrespectful to - wait a damn minute, is that HIM?

Long story short, he goes through a good portion of your drawings before Joseph comes out of the shower and gives him a puzzled look, seeing how his eyes are literally shinning with adoration. He puts your sketchbook back into his bag, acting as if nothing happened and continues on with his nightly routine. Later on, when Joseph is already fast asleep, he contemplates about whether or not he should go to your room right now and ask about the sketchbook he had found. He's already suspecting it's yours, whose else would it be? He has seen you drawing often, could it be that you returned his feelings and had spent your time sketching him? Ultimately, he decides to wait until tomorrow to find out.

The very next day, he knocks on your door early in the morning. It startles you awake, running up to your door to look through a peephole, seeing a muscular man on the other side. Sighing heavily, you unlock the door and open it just a little bit.

"Excuse my intrusion, [Y/N], but I have found something that I think belongs to you."

Now that's embarassing. You see your sketchbook in his hand, a wide, knowing smile on his face. He knows it's yours. All it took is one look at your stupid red face to figure it out. God, he can read you like an open book, can't he? While you reach out to take it from him, your fingers touch just slightly.

"Don't worry, I swear I won't tell anyone about this" she winked at you, which almost made you gasp "If anything, I think I should maybe pose for you in private? So you can get a better look? You should think about it..."

Who would've thought this man could be such a flirt sometimes...

Jean Pierre Polnareff

You better watch out, because if this man has a crush on you, you bet he would go above and beyond to find out what's inside that sketchbook. I'm not joking. He forgets what personal space is, he's even worse that Jotaro, because while JoJo would make sure to be sneaky, Polnareff wouldn't even bother. He'll try to catch a sneak peak by looking over your shoulder while you're drawing, constantly asking you questions about art related things, everything always leading to your sketchbook.

He wants to know what's inside. Simple as that. You're like an enigma to him, I feel like all women are mysteries to him and he always works towards finding out what their secrets are. You are especially interesting to him, because of how secretive you are with your art. He's captivated, and while he never had any interest in arts himself, he had always fancied himself as a man with a great sense of beauty. That being said, he's always trying to get your attention while talking about how "France is a wonderful country for artists! You should come and visit after our crusade is over, [Y/N]! I'll show you all the greatest museums and art galleries!"

He's like a puppy, following you around and being just a bit too pushy. If you tell him you feel uncomfortable, he'll back off of course. He's not just some juvenile pervert after all! He's a honourable man who would never touch or bother a woman without her permission, no matter how desperate he seems sometimes.

When he finally sees your sketchbook, it's probably because he did it on purpose and not because of an accident. He wanted to make sure that it was him your were capturing in your drawing, and boy was he happy when he saw what's inside! It's all him, cute little sketches, little comics, it's better that he could've ever imagined! He's literally crying the tears of joy while reading them. Before it was all just wishful thinking, but now it turns out to be true! He's honoured, admiring every single little drawing with hit tears streaming down his face. He must look pathetic right now, if anyone was around they would think the was a mad man. He gets up and runs away with your sketchbook in his hand, trying to find you.

"[Y/N]! Ma cherie! Mon coeur! My love, my life! We need to talk!"

Did i mention that he doesn't shy away from nicknames? Yeah.

It's probably the worst confrontation compared to the rest of them, he's not subtle like Kakyoin and decides to talk with you about your drawings right then and there, in front of everyone. At first they're surprised, looking at Polnareff as is he was crazy, but slowly their shock is replaced with amusement. Joseph doesn't even try to hold back his laughter, while the rest of the crew is trying to keep it cool as not to embarass you any further while the Frenchman is just going on and on with his declarations of undying love. It's a bit dramatic, one of these moments that you will probably laugh about in the future, but you felt like disappearing right then and there.

"Your drawing are magnifique! [Y/N], my love, if you wanted to draw me, you could've just said so! Although I don't think I deserve to be potrayed by you, to be drawn by your skilled hands, ma cherie!"

You snatch the sketchbook from him. After that incident you probably try to avoid him, but he won't give up! He's more determined than ever, knowing that you feel the same way as he does fills him with hope, hope for a future life with you that is! He won't give up until he makes you the happiest woman on earth.

[monicashipsnickyjoe]

(part 4 of my advertising agency office au. check out part 1/2/3)

At the end of the day, Nicky tries to think of ways to more properly thank Joe for saving his bank account and, probably, his job. A handshake, perhaps? No, that’s not enough, and after the jacket incident, it would feel too formal. Perhaps an email? A curt nod?

Ug! He buries his fingers in his hair. Why is he so bad at this?

On a poster on the wall of his cubicle, the kitten clings to that tree branch. Hang in there! If the kitten can do it, then surely he can -

A card! Decided, he turns back to his computer. He could try to make one by hand, but he lacks any artistic talent. The best he can do is adjust the word processor to print out a few clip-art designs in a way he can fold into a card. Nicky has to buy his own ink for the printer beneath his desk, but he doesn’t mind using it for this. He only wishes he splurged and bought color ink instead of only black.

After carefully folding the thin computer paper into a slightly lopsided, card-like shape, he fills in the boxy THANK YOU on the front with pink, yellow, and blue highlighters. Inside, beneath a smiley face, he writes his name: Nicolò.

Around him, his co-workers begin to leave. The clock on his monitor tells him it’s already ten after 5. Nicky grabs his card and his jacket and leaves his cubicle. Like wading upstream, he dodges his exiting co-workers, all headed the opposite way, as he makes his way past the water cooler and toward the offices.

He glares at the copier as he steps around it, and knocks his knuckles on the door frame to Joe’s office.

Joe’s three monitors are on, two paused on different sections of what appears to be a commercial-in-progress. The third shows his email inbox. Joe is looking at none of them. Instead, he’s swiveled in his desk chair to the barren section of his L-shaped desk. He sketches something in a notebook. Under his desk, he’s kicked off his shoes.

At Nicky’s knock, he looks up, and those heavy bags under his eyes have only darkened since this morning, he visibly brightens when Nicky steps into the room.

“Have you been home since yesterday?” Nicky asks.

Joe glances to the side, like he’s thinking of a lie, but he quickly sighs and says, “I went home for a shower about 4 this morning.”

“Have you eaten?”

Joe waves to the take-out containers Nicky now sees wedged behind his monitors. There’s several days worth.

“You should go home,” Nicky says. “You’ll get sick like this.”

Joe shrugs. “It’s only until tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” That doesn’t make sense. Nicky has seen the forecasted earnings for the next month, coupled with the designer-client meeting schedules. He knows Joe’s meeting with the Pharmaceutical company isn’t until next week. And even if Merrick convinced Joe to move it forward, tomorrow is impossibly soon.

“Honestly, I thought I’d get far enough ahead last night to give me a break tonight but... things change.” He smiles up at Nicky, but it doesn’t hold.

Things change. What could have changed from yesterday to today?

Oh.

Oh, no.

“Joe,” Nicky storms further into the room, coming right up to the edge of Joe’s desk. “Tell me you didn’t move up the schedule because of me.”

“It’s not your fault,” Joe says, but his eyes are soft and sad. He’s lying.

“Joe.” Nicky clutches his pathetic card in both hands. It’s not enough. Not near enough.

“What Merrick wanted to do to you was wrong. If I could fix it by putting in another all-nighter, what does it matter?” He holds Nicky’s gaze, and that at least, is earnest. Which only makes Nicky feel worse.

“But, Joe -”

“I did what I had to do, Nicky, and I’d do it again.”

“But you didn’t have to.”

Joe laughs a little, under his breath. “I will always stay true to my heart.”

Nicky’s not sure what he means, so he doesn’t know how to argue. He looks down at his card. At the very least, he could have more carefully colored the letters inside the lines. Yet somehow, he knows Joe will still love it.

It’s not enough.

“What are you having to eat tonight?” Nicky asks.

Frowning, Joe waves to take-out containers again.

Nicky’s stomach flips. “No,” he says, before he even realizes he’s spoken. When Joe blinks at him, Nicky trudges onward. “Do not eat that. I will bring you dinner.”

Joe leans back in his chair. Those dark bags are barely visible now, with how bright his eyes are, like he just woke up to Christmas morning.

“Wait for me,” Nicky says, and all but throws his silly card at Joe.

Joe catches it with both hands. Nicky turns and leaves before he can see him read it.

*

Nicky, fortunately, has stew cooking in a crock pot since before work. He woke up early, restless from having heard Joe call his name in his sleep. To distract himself, he sliced carrots and potatoes and beef. He paced the length of his small kitchen, worrying over spices, trying not to think of Joe.

So, after rushing back to his apartment, he doesn’t have to worry about making anything new. He cooked enough for several days of leftovers, but he packs it all up now into five different containers, and puts them into an insulated thermal bag. He also throws in some napkins, two forks and a spoon, not knowing Joe’s preference. He grabs some waters from the fridge, a bag of fresh rolls from his pantry, and hurries out the door.

Back at the office, Joe has tacked Nicky’s ridiculous card onto the wall. He’s smiling at it when Nicky steps through the doorway.

“You’re back.” Joe turns that smile on Nicky, and Nicky trips a little on the carpet.

“I hope you like stew,” Nicky says, dropping his gaze to his feet so he can make it safety across the room.

“I love it.”

“Good. I brought you enough for several days.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Joe says.

Nicky opens the thermal bag. He pulls out one container and places it before Joe. He sets a second one beside it, for himself. He removes the napkins and the silverware, and sets the rest aside.

“Take my chair,” Joe tells him, standing. He slides it over before Nicky can refuse, then goes to retrieve a metal fold-out from against the wall.

“Joe -”

“Just sit, Nicky. You went to all this trouble.” Joe arranges the fold-out and sits. “I’ll be in that chair all night. It’s good to spice things up.”

Nicky could hardly see how sitting in a metal chair would ‘spice things up’ but he decides not to argue.

They remove the lids and dig into the food. At the first bite, Nicky’s pleased the stew is still hot. All thoughts fizzle, however, at the sound of Joe moaning delightedly.

Joe’s eyes flutter closed. After he swallows, he laughs. “Nicky, you have spoiled me. This is delicious! You must tell me which restaurant you bought this from. I will never eat anywhere else.”

Nicky’s face burns so hot, he might catch fire. “I made it.”

Joe’s gaze snaps to him. “You...?“ Surprise makes way to something else, something warmer, and for a moment, Nicky suspects Joe might hug him. Or maybe he just wants him to.

“Nicky,” Joe says. “I am convinced you are an angel.”

Nicky shakes his head. “If I was an angel, I wouldn’t have broken the copier.”

Joe grunts, like he doesn’t agree, but rather than argue, he returns to the stew.

They eat for a time, before Nicky wonders aloud.

“You surprised me, the other day,” Nicky says. “When you knew my name.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Joe lowers his spoon. “You were introduced on your first day.”

Nicky remembers Merrick waving toward him unceremoniously as he stood by the water cooler on his first day. People stood in their cubicles and sat down immediately after. He hadn’t noticed anyone step out of the offices.

“That was a year ago,” Nicky says.

“I would never forget you.” Joe scoops fresh stew onto his spoon and brings it to his mouth.

“But you never...” Nicky has no idea how to handle this new information. “We never...” He motions his fork between the two of them.

Joe lowers his chin, sheepish. “I thought of how to approach you a thousand times. But you are so...”

Oh. Nicky frowns. “Quiet.”

“No!” Joe leans forward. “Beautiful! That’s what I was going to say.”

Nicky blinks, too stunned to speak.

“I wanted to impress you, but I didn’t know how. I even tried to learn Italian, though work has been so... it’s been difficult to find time to do anything else.” Shaking his head, he sits back in the chair again. He lifts his spoon. “I’ve only learned a few words so far, but I will learn more. I’m determined.” Joe speaks with such confidence, Nicky believes him.

“Joe.” Nicky tries to find his voice. It feels important, to reply.

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“No,” Nicky says. “The opposite.”

“Oh?”

Nicky swallows his nerves, takes a breath. “Joe, you are the most beautiful person I have ever met.”

Joe’s cheeks tint red. His eyes sparkle, or maybe it’s the overhead light reflecting just right. What does it matter, with how lovely he looks when his lips part and he whispers, “Nicolò.“

If Nicky stays, he will kiss him, and if he kisses him, he will not stop. “I should leave you to your work.” Before hurt can settle on Joe’s face, Nicky reaches out and places his hand on Joe’s arm near the wrist. His thumb circles the fragile bones there. “The sooner you are finished, the sooner you can leave.”

Joe’s smile returns, a touch more devilish than before. “And then?”

Joe’s skin is warm under Nicky’s hand. All Nicky would have to do is lean a little closer and he could... They could...

He starts to. So does Joe.

But then Nicky snaps back, remembering, and makes himself pull away. He stands and moves around the chair, placing it between them. Yet even with the distance, the air sparks between them.

Nicky gives Joe a look. “And then.”

Whatever Joe sees in his face has Joe popping out of his chair. “Nicky, stay.”

“You’ll never finish your work.”

“To hell with it.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do, and I...” He stops himself and sighs. “No. When my lips touch yours for the first time, it will not be in this place.”

The thrill of a kiss rushes up Nicky’s spine, and he shivers. “When this is done...” He sucks in a breath, steadying himself. “When this is done, we will meet, and then...”

Joe licks his lips. “And then.”

[love-takes-work]

Steven Universe: End of an Era: Outline & Review

I wrote this review in October but never got around to posting it here

Steven Universe: End of an Era is far more than an art book–it’s also a collection of behind-the-scenes material, stories about the experience of working on the show, planning documents and associated background info, and both older versions of developed concepts AND concepts that never made it into the show. It's a huge fusion of all those elements, and it's definitely an experience!

Some low-quality images are included with my review just to give you an idea of what’s there--it’s not a good substitute for getting your own copy, but here’s a tour!

Like the previous concept art book, Art and Origins, I'll be giving you a description of the structure and overview, while also collecting notable information for fans. Obviously just about everything is "notable" once again, but I'll aim for unique insight or perspective on the main source material, keeping the screaming about everything new to a minimum so you can also enjoy something for yourself if you pick it up. My low-quality photos should prevent people from feeling like I'm reproducing the book in any capacity. Please grab one while you can and have your own experience!

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

OVERVIEW

The book is titled "End of an Era" for a couple reasons--obviously because it is released after the show has wrapped, but also because Gem history recently ended its "Era 2" and began Era 3--an age of prosperity and peace. The author--the person in charge of adapting all of this information into this slick, readable package--is Chris McDonnell, whose work was previously applied on the Art and Origins book.

The foreword is by N.K. Jemisin, a well-known science fiction author who's a huge fan of the show (and wrote a really excellent series that also has a weird geological connection, by the way).

And the cover, like its predecessor, is shiny and decorated with a beach scene featuring minimalistic characters--this time it's the Gems at night in front of the Temple, and on the back cover is a big pink leg ship in a cross-legged pose.

The interior covers are decorated with tons of amazing sketches of Steven and Connie on the front, and a bunch of Gem sketches on the back. Every interior page that most would leave blank is highlighted with some kind of sketch art or character exercise--it's so much to look at, so much to absorb.

The book is dedicated "For Eddie."

Its organization is different from the previous book in that it shares applicable work in chunks associated with groups of episodes rather than pertaining to different aspects of building the show.

FOREWORD

N.K. Jemisin gives us such a great introduction to the book--apparently understanding very well that the audience of this book is full of animation enthusiasts and adult fans more than it is full of kids, and explaining that bewildering journey some adults had from blowing this show off as a silly kid thing to falling in love with it hard and fast.

The important thing, Jemisin says, is being able to trust a storyteller with your heart. And it was clear to her that Rebecca Sugar knew what she was talking about and was saying important things about identity and the radical power that comes with accepting it and demanding respect.

Important also is how we handle heroes and who gets to be one in fantasy. That's part of the reason Steven Universe speaks to so many--because we see ourselves here, and know stories can be about us. Acknowledging the power we all have to MAKE THINGS BETTER with what we fight for is so important--especially if we're going to speaking to the next generation about it.

Highlighting Rose Quartz as a "born leader" who failed and Steven as a relatable scamp who did what she couldn't, Jemisin asserts that we can save the world.

1. END OF AN ERA

We start with an appeal to the audience to think about identity and the formative parts of our childhood--and how different it is if who you are and who you become is restricted, mocked, erased, or Not Allowed. Most people, if not ALL people, can relate to this, but for those of us with a special relationship with Steven Universe because of queer identity, this hits hard.

But it doesn't have to be anything grand to be something we respect--this show's authenticity comes largely from how personal everything is, drawn from real-life experiences and incidental truths from each artist's perspective, leaning hard on childhood and formative experiences.

Rebecca Sugar offers some interview bits to discuss writing philosophy and why "writing female characters" was difficult for a nonbinary person who'd been socialized as a girl and a woman. Rebecca has spoken before about how frustrating it is that marketing for cartoons was SO gendered when she was growing up (and to some extent still is).

The Gems in the story are all "she/her," but on their planet they're defined by their work, not by emotion or relationships (unlike women in our society), so having them be socialized opposite to how she was and be able to claim those emotions through choice and NOT as just an expectation "as women" was revolutionary. Rebecca wants her show to tell all marginalized people that they don't deserve to be in the margins.

Weighing in on other aspects of the show were Ian Jones-Quartey, Joe Johnston, and Miki Brewster. Ian describes feeling like at first doing SU was a thrill ride that meant they'd finally get to do all the cool stuff, but it quickly became a responsibility that he took very seriously--the need to tell a good story now that he'd been given a megaphone.

Promotional art, planning documents, character sketches, and concept art from the lighthearted to the stone serious is included, along with some very cool (sort of famous) timeline charts that track major characters' developments. It's emphasized by Rebecca that the developmental materials ARE NOT CANON (and especially are not MORE canon) compared the final show.

There are concept sketches alongside final art for Aquamarine and Topaz in "Wanted" (with Topaz labeled "Imperial Topaz"), the Zircons in "The Trial," Blue and Yellow Diamond, and the Off Colors (including Pink Lars).

And there's also a spread of "the two sides of Steven's life: Gem Magic and Rock N Roll" featuring Sadie Killer and the Suspects (referred to as "Buck's band")--as well as a cool "Crew Cameos" key and some concepts for short-haired Connie.

And then there's some more "finished" art with stills alongside concepts, including some background art, revision, and really cool "fairytale" art from some of the shadowplay storytelling bits. We get "Lars of the Stars," "Jungle Moon," and "Can't Go Back."

2. THE BEGINNING OF THE END: A SINGLE PALE ROSE

In discussing the huge reveals and Gem mysteries in the show, the pacing is examined, and emphasis is put on the intended "slow burn." One of the most difficult things in the show was to strategize so that every piece that was needed to support another piece in the future was placed properly to seed what it was supposed to.

Some of the ideas they developed were more of a group effort and were fit together collaboratively (like Amethyst's being younger than the other Gems and Jasper being from Earth), while others were intended from the beginning based on Rebecca's vision (the fundamental idea of Pink Diamond's true identity, for instance, as well as Obsidian's design and sword and our Pearl not being Pink's first).

The writing process gets a great deep dive here, including fun tidbits like how the orb in the moon base was inserted by Joe Johnston and they literally had no idea what it was for when they wrote the episode. They repurposed it when they figured out what they needed.

Rebecca credits her detailed timelines for helping keep the order straight, and discusses how other artists are sometimes flabbergasted that a storyboard-driven show can have this much detail and continuity and yet not get wrecked by the free non-scripted boarding process. But Rebecca and the Crew valued that approach and loved the way fresh eyes would handle an idea, making it come back alive, entertaining, vivid.

Several Crew members weigh in on the writing process. Lauren Hecht refers to making lots of incorrect guesses despite being on the inside. Joe Johnston recalled getting briefed on his first day and getting so excited to start working on this massive project.

Miki Brewster remembered being told Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond and being shocked--and also confused about why Ruby and Sapphire would need to be married if they're already basically married. Drew Green talks about being brought in late and getting to watch unaired episodes and a rough of the movie while eating cereal.

Ian Jones-Quartey complains about Pink Diamond's real jester-like form being leaked to the internet through a Hot Topic shirt. Rebecca piggybacks on that and says it was upsetting that the wedding was leaked because of toy fair keychains featuring Ruby and Sapphire in wedding attire. They'd always be worried about leaks, and sometimes Rebecca struggled not to talk about the reality of Pink Diamond before the reveal because she knew it would make so much more sense once the truth was out. And everything associated with Rose makes more sense once you know she's Pink--especially what happened with Bismuth, considering what we know about how Pink Diamond has a habit of treating anyone who no longer serves her interests.

When it comes to visual cues, Rebecca also talks about intentional designs to create a feeling of unity between concepts, like the flower shapes on Pink Diamond's palanquin lining up with the poofs of Steven's hair and the star imagery of the series. Steven Sugar and Mary Nash discuss how the Human Zoo incorporated this imagery, trying to look like Homeworld with a Pink Diamond touch.

Steven Sugar, as a game nerd, liked to throw in video game references from old and modern stuff to feel like he's inserting what he's enjoying and who he is from moment to moment, while Mary Nash, who related to Sadie as a basement-dwelling young person with cult interests, liked to include stuff from MST3K and cult movies. Pearl's hand gestures get a spotlight too--her reflex to cover her mouth when Pink Diamond was being discussed was analyzed here.

A "Top Secret Visual Timeline" from 2016 is included which tells us some Diamond history. It has an earlier version of Pink Pearl's fate and does not include Spinel since the movie hadn't been greenlit. The timeline includes the birth of the Diamonds, the emergence and major story beats for each major character, and some philosophy of the driving force behind each.

We're told that Pink Diamond straightened up, behavior-wise, after she lost her first Pearl, and that Yellow and Blue wanted to give her a planet but White only agreed to it to prove she would fail at managing a colony. Pearl, meanwhile, is so confused to have a Diamond who keeps asking her what she thinks when she doesn't believe she should have opinions.

And when Pink moonlighted as Rose to start conflict, she found herself leading an army to fight Pink's troops--then Yellow's, and eventually Blue's too. Lapis is said to be waiting for the conflict to end on Earth so she can terraform, but she gets trapped instead.

Pearl's love story with Rose is described as "an endless honeymoon" where she's free to love her, while Rose's is more like "I'm now the head of the family and I'm going to give everyone what they never had, so everyone is super special!"

Jasper is described as "adopted" into Yellow's army as the only successful Beta Quartz. And White Diamond knew that Pink Diamond was not dead--she thought she was just running away from home like a brat and would eventually be back.

3. THE HEART OF THE CRYSTAL GEMS

Now we discuss Rose Quartz--the original Pink Diamond. How she was selfish and selfless, never enough and always too much, and how Greg was her first partner who "challenged her" to be an equal. Rebecca describes Rose as being delighted by the idea that both she and Greg reinvented themselves, but when that leads her to want to share her past, Greg isn't interested--he only wants to know who she is now, and doesn't consider the old her to be her.

Rebecca likes Carl Jung's concept of "enantiodromia," which is the idea that extremes lead to their extreme opposite. This is demonstrated in all of the Diamonds. This narrative is interspersed with drawings of Greg and Rose being cute.

But another "heart" of the Crystal Gems is its relationships--particularly, Garnet, the fairy tale romance embodied. More psychological theories are discussed with regard to differentiation in a relationship making the relationship stronger, and how they made sure that happened for Garnet during the appropriate arc. Rebecca has struggled with the idea that she, like Ruby, went straight from a "family" group to a living-with-others situation and never lived by herself. But she also learned that you can in fact develop as a person in the context of a relationship--you don't have to be alone to do it. Ruby learned that too, and chose on her own terms to be with Sapphire.

The wedding made so much sense to Rebecca and the crew that they couldn't imagine a wholesome couple like Ruby and Sapphire not having a wedding episode. They wanted it for years: The wedding concepts always included the tuxedo for Sapphire and the wedding dress for Ruby.

But pushback (often blamed on the conservative standards of the international market) led to negotiations trying to keep Ruby and Sapphire's relationship from being explicit. Rebecca and the Crew were very tired of this double standard, and they were especially irritated by attempts to claim a wedding wouldn't be well received by a core demographic or wouldn't make sense for Steven's character. But other shows had done weddings and Steven had been established to love weddings already.

Rebecca kept adding more elements to the wedding episode to answer all the concerns, but she didn't want to back down from explicit marriage between these characters. They deserved it. And the audience deserved to see this as wholesome, like any other cartoon wedding. Eventually they got their way and were allowed to have the wedding. But the ordered episodes were also coming to a close without promise of more, so Rebecca had to request more episodes to be able to wrap up the storyline!

And of course, there is Steven, the true heart of the team. A very interesting aside discusses Garnet's leadership and how the network pushed the Crewniverse to acknowledge Steven as the leader. This was successfully resisted throughout as well--because Garnet is the leader (unless she's incapacitated, of course). It's fantastic that this concept was preserved because too often a young male chosen one is elevated above people with more experience and knowledge because of that chosen one tradition, so it's really nice to have a show acknowledge that team leadership is more appropriate for an adult.

4. ERA 3

Beginning with a discussion of the Diamonds, this chapter deconstructs the dysfunctional "family" of the Diamonds (who are said to be based on tropes about evil stepmothers and stepsisters), with the thread of dysfunction originating with White Diamond.

Yellow is physical, Blue is emotional, White is judgmental, and Pink is impulsive. Some philosophy on why Pink is naturally manipulative and why she clashes so much with White is offered.

White believes her identity is to be imposed on all because she is the pinnacle of what should be--and therefore, she has the right to make decisions and statements about and on behalf of everyone. But her secret is that she can't do what the others do--act or feel or want. In trying to be everyone, she is no one.

And this becomes very important when she confronts Steven about his identity and turns out to be wrong. The triumph of Steven being totally, fully himself is a beautiful, simple revelation that's described as far more satisfying than the theories about Pink living inside him or Rose returning from his Gem.

Also discussed is Gem architecture. A lot went into this idea, and Steven Sugar weighs in to say he had to think of what it would mean for a world to have buildings but serve no human needs. That's why it's mostly focused on transport and storage. Even the broken planet is meant to indicate a place stripped for its resources, and everything serves a function that is meant to avoid looking like the human equivalents.

And there's another layer, too: a difference between Era 1 and Era 2. Era 2 became more functional to hide Era 1's broken bits, and older Homeworld buildings still have some "ornate and ancient" feel to them. And the fact that props, tools, and even walls and doors could be living was taken from a concept Rebecca thought was horrible from old Busby Berkeley movies, where people were inanimate objects and it was portrayed as lovely. Tom Herpich helped conceptualize these living objects.

Steven dealing with "princess tropes" is discussed here too. The Pebbles (worked on with Pendleton Ward) were sort of his Cinderella's mice, and all the locked-in-a-tower, having supportive tiny friends help you, getting princess clothes made, attending a ball, having to mind your manners stuff was intentionally related to fairy tales.

The point of doing that (besides fun) was to easily invoke the feeling that Steven was being made to be someone he's not, and that he was being treated like THIS is who he really is when it isn't. White Diamond as the "evil stepmother" is discussed with regard to her detailed features and massive scale. They generally didn't put fingernails and eyelashes on characters (especially not to indicate that they were women or girls!), but they decided White would get all of these feminine markers for tradition's sake.

Rebecca also invokes several other references that were included and describes the princess tropes as "chipping away at his integrity" setting him up for the final challenge with White.

There is again tons of concept art: Homeworld architecture, Pebbles, Diamond diagrams, background Jades and Lemon Jade Fusion, Comby, Diamond extraction chambers, and White Diamond.

5. CHANGE YOUR MIND

Now we finally begin to discuss Steven's identity. The "Perfect Steven," discussed in several interviews before this book's release, was an idea back in 2013; the "ultimate Steven," beefed up and shonen-looking, was far from perfect because OUR Steven is perfect, while this alpha hero Steven idea (used in Steven Universe Future) didn't belong being idolized in such a show.

They thought about having Steven fall apart into organic half and Gem half early in the show (during "Giant Woman" after a successful fusion and unfusion, even!), but they didn't try the concept until the last episode. They didn't want the "Pink" Steven to be portrayed as "better" even though he would be more powerful, so they decided he isn't whole without his organic self and he's just as much of a shell as the organic half. They absolutely did not want any ending that required Rose to be inside him or waiting to come back. But the debates were fierce--what DOES it mean to have Rose's Gem?

Ian Jones-Quartey brings in an anecdote about his own family to emphasize some of the immigrant themes that inspired aspects of the show. He had a brother who reinvented himself elsewhere away from family without resolving issues, and all the ramifications of that were explored in the show through Rose Quartz. (He is careful to say he doesn't think his immigrant experience is like being from another planet!) But he did say you can hurt your old family even if they were toxic or didn't know the real you, and you can hurt your new family by hiding your past. The Pizza family of course was also a more direct reference to Ian's Ghanaian family.

In talking about the new Fusions from this episode, Sunstone is largely described by Miki, who also got to board the Sunstone section. Sunstone was described as a cool 1990s character and the evolution just continued into making them a fourth-wall-breaking PSA dispenser. Obsidian is also discussed, with their sword being an early concept. Steven Sugar said they totally knew it would be forged in action. Obsidian being similar to the Temple design is of course another very early detail.

The story of how James Baxter got involved with one of the final scenes (Organic Steven and Pink Steven fusing in front of White Diamond) was shared. His family was fans of the show and Rebecca Sugar took the time to drive to a birthday party for his daughter and give her a drawing. He then owed her a favor, and this was it.

Concept art is again included, this time with sample boards, promo images, a Diamond fight concept, costume design changes for the Gems, new Fusions, the so-called "Mega Diamond" ship conglomerate, some scenes from the White Diamond confrontation, Pink Steven, multiple pages of James Baxter animation, corrupted Gems and their healed selves, and photos from the "Change Your Mind" premiere and some awards. The show has won one design-related Emmy, a Peabody Award, and a GLAAD award.

6. STEVEN UNIVERSE FUTURE

The book doesn't cover the movie because it got its own book, but dives right into Future. Ian Jones-Quartey emphasizes that the movie and Future are separate and different from the original show, which ENDED. After all, after that, Steven has a neck!

Some new names are invoked now: new writers Kate Tsang, Jack Pendarvis, and Taneka Stotts. They were excited to have Steven make HIS OWN mistakes instead of trying to clean up someone else's! Now, instead of doing the usual shonen anime thing and having the final battle be a big physical rumble, Steven has to make peace with himself and take an active role in coping with what all the fighting has done to him and what effect it's had on who he is (and who he wants to be). There is no sudden "I love myself!" answer, either. It's always a process.

Drew Green and Maya Petersen, who came on board as storyboarders officially in Future, also weighed in on writing for a "mature" show, how to deal with Steven being a "moral compass" while being sort of unreliable, and what they learned as Crew that they didn't know as fans. Drew didn't know Garnet never asks questions. Jack didn't realize the show never deviated from Steven's point of view. Taneka was nervous but excited to collaborate. Kate was worried about how established the show was and what to do as a new writer to contribute appropriately.

Maya was on the old Crew but not as a storyboarder, so felt like some of the "old" ideas ended up not being appropriate for the "new" Future in an embarrassing way--and dreaded the idea of dealing with Steven's emotional problems when they were similar to stuff she'd been through. She also was personally behind the idea of Steven wanting to dump his problems by becoming Stevonnie, and got to work with Etienne Guignard on inventing the Pearl creation backstory with Volleyball.

There's some discussion of "depression hobbies," stress, and the show's pacing. And they say Etienne was entertaining at pitches. There's even some discussion of how Greg is taken off a bit of a pedestal because his terrible restrictive life in the suburbs sounded wholesome to Steven and Greg presented it negatively.

And then there is some information about how the Crew felt behind the scenes due to fan reactions and negative press. Ian discusses feeling offended when the Black characters are described as bad examples, as if their cartoonized but realistic-in-context features are automatically caricatures.

Rebecca Sugar felt beaten down by some of these narratives and began to access mental health services, inspiring some of the content of "Mindful Education." A long reflection from Rebecca discusses people's infighting about her show and what she had a responsibility to show or not show in the story. She learned a lot about bullying from Cartoon Network's anti-bullying program and learned that bullies thrive on whatever attention you give them--unless it is made clear to them by a peer group that no one is impressed by their cruel actions. Also, not all negative feedback is bullying. Constructive criticism is different. Self-awareness can help you avoid internalizing what bullies might do or say to you.

Segueing from the discussion of how people are affected by and connect with the show, we then discuss how they chose as a team what should be covered as the show came to a close. They didn't have time to do quite a few stories they wanted time for, like a Rhodonite story, a Lars side story, and Diamond "prehistory" and religion; all of it was put aside for the main arc with Steven.

They thought people would find those stories about Homeworld and Off Color history very interesting, but so much of the show had been about Steven's Gem adventures, so keeping him mostly on Earth seemed appropriate. The acknowledgment of his battle damage, of his trauma, was necessary and real, and helpful in an important way to the core audience.

Oh, and there was some stuff about a cheeseburger tree. Don't ask.

In discussing the "reverse escapism" of the original show (Gem aliens are intrigued by everyday human culture, and realism is necessary), Rebecca says her views have changed on escapism and gets why some people want a soothing feel-better show. She acknowledged also that her own escapist dreams-come-true fulfilled in the show didn't feel like escapism because they were givens to the majority of mainstream culture, but were never guaranteed to marginalized people.

Rebecca ties in her several-times-told story about "Love Like You" and how the middle bit was when she didn't feel she was worth looking up to, and the realizations she had to tie the beginning to the end. Feeling like someone will like you less if they know you more is terrible. So sometimes a show like this can be helpful in telling people that they belong when their fantasies are things like "I want to be loved" and "I want to know I exist."

In Future, Steven has to connect to who he is and love that person--and understand that person enough to finally feel that even if he's not fixing their problems or saving their world right this second, Steven deserves his family's love and support, and they WANT to give it to him.

There's a huge amount of supplemental material in this section so there's no way I could name it all. The charts for Future's timeline are pretty straightforward, though a few episodes like "A Very Special Episode," "Why So Blue," "In Dreams," and "Bismuth Casual" aren't specifically represented and a couple are in a different order ("Prickly Pair" was conceived as happening after "Fragments" and "Homeworld Bound").

Steven feeling like a monster, having intrusive thoughts, having not forgiven the Diamonds, and getting help/moving on--it's all there.

We have keys, color scripts, and boards for the new opening and some various backgrounds and storyboard art from episodes. Model sheets for Shep, Nice Lapis and Mean Lapis, Jasper, Steven Tag Gems, Pink Steven Powers, Monster Steven. New house concepts, Era 3 Homeworld concept art for the Diamond environments, and background art for the Reef.

New Connie and Greg designs. Concepts for Mega Pearl, the Rose Quartzes, Bluebird, and Morganite (who didn't get used). And there are some photos from recording and the conference room. There are even some extras from "Crossover Nexus," the crossover with OK K.O.!--including an unused cut scene that included Ruby and Sapphire fighting. The rest of the book is a bunch of adorable Crewniverse art--extras, blog drawings, promos, and gifts to each other.

NOTABLE

1.

The first timeline chart in the book features a cool sketch of the original Off Colors, which at the time this planning document was drafted included unused Off Colors Flint and Chert.

We knew of their existence already because of an episode of the podcast, but these two unexpectedly appeared as incidental characters in the Steven Universe Future episode "Homeworld Bound," identified only in the credits. Sad to think that instead of banding with the Off Colors, these two were probably shattered for their crime (being Quartzes who don't want to fight) and that's why we see them being repaired in this episode. Later, there's some brainstorming for types of Off Colors and "a Ruby that wants to wear limb enhancers" is mentioned as well.

2. 

It looks like there was also originally more juice to the story of tracking down the events of the war culminating in Pink Diamond's assassination.

One of the timelines talks about Steven thinking it makes sense that Pearl can't talk about her involvement because she might have been a double agent, explaining why Rose Quartz always knew what Pink Diamond was doing. It seems like that bit was supposed to be included in Garnet's version of the story she believed in "Your Mother and Mine." Seems like they originally conceived Garnet's story to inspire the Off Colors to become pirates and freedom fighters, though in the show's canon this storytelling happened after Lars had already reinvented himself the way he did.

Sadie was also supposed to be sending letters to Lars via Steven, which is funny since the "Letters to Lars" episode is just a montage Steven letter. And of course it's specified that Steven was supposed to get Pink Diamond flashbacks by going to the Palace on Homeworld.

3. 

The second chart in the book makes references to Sadie's reinvention of herself as a parallel to Lars, Greg, and Pink Diamond all doing the same thing, and how positive it is to embrace such a thing--a version of yourself that YOU create.

I love that Yellow Diamond's arm ship arm-wrestling the Cluster was always part of the plan.

There's some more explicit direction to have Connie help Steven understand the Diamonds as "strict parents," and a lot more emphasis on everyone realizing Rose had been inspired by THEM rather than them all following her.

White Diamond is presented here as if she thinks of Pink Diamond as a "daughter" (whom she now understands she has "lost"). There are notes on how the Diamonds have a responsibility to their children and should attend to it before just continuing to make more.

4.

One of the concept art images for the Off Colors features Rhodonite crouching by Padparadscha saying "Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you." It's very interesting because she DOES seem to protect Padparadscha in the show, but doesn't seem confident about it in her final version, even though it does seem like she'd be "programmed" to guard aristocratic Gems because of her Ruby and Pearl makeup. Cool.

5.

A "Crew Cameos" spread was included, which is of great interest to some of us who loved seeing the Crew insert themselves into the show. Not every SU Crew person who's been represented in a crowd was there, but this crowd included Amish Kumar, Kat Morris, Amanda Winterstein, Angie Wang, Lamar Abrams, Emily Walus, Mary Nash, Joe Johnston, Christy Cohen, Danny Cragg, Hilary Florido, Danny Hynes, Matt Burnett, Ben Levin, Elle Michalka.

6.

The official national flower of South Korea, Hibiscus syriacus, is the name of Pink Diamond's flower.

7.

One of Steven Sugar's comments about the silhouette difference between humans and Gems points out that humans have ears. This seems to be pretty good confirmation that they are not supposed to have ears, despite that sometimes we'll see ears drawn on them in some frames.

8.

Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond is characterized in this book as "self-hating" in a really interesting way, saying that because she believed she was not capable of compassion, she practically worshiped those who demonstrated that ability and thought they were so much better than her--which is described as "intoxicating" and resulted in others being drawn to her. How interesting is that!

9.

Timelines reveal that early plans for Pink Diamond's first Pearl originally had her getting destroyed by Pink during  a game, and then her destruction was rewritten as a punishment from the Diamonds after Pink Pearl defended Pink Diamond to the other Diamonds. They went back to the idea of her getting hurt by Pink for the final version, though the cracked face and control by White Diamond was not on the agenda until they started writing "Change Your Mind."

10.

The approximate ages of the major characters, based on emergence, are revealed on these timelines. It begins with a cracked-planet-looking graphic depicting four tiny Diamonds emerging at 20,000 years ago. Some suspicious "blacked out" redacting surrounds a long timeline tail that goes back before that, which may mean there are secrets they still don't want to reveal. But the dates go like this:

20,000 years ago: The Diamonds emerge.

11,000 years ago: Pearl is custom-made for Pink Diamond.

8,000 years ago: Sapphire emerges (on Homeworld).

6,000 years ago: Ruby emerges (on a colony).

5,750 years ago: Garnet is formed.

5,600 years ago: Lapis is poofed and put in the mirror.

5,200 years ago: Jasper emerges (on Earth).

5,050 years ago: The Cluster is planted.

5,000 years ago: Amethyst emerges (on Earth).

4,500 years ago: The Crystal Gems found Amethyst.

3,000 years ago: Peridot emerges (on Homeworld).

40 years ago: Pearl found Lapis's mirror at the Galaxy Warp.

And of course we know 14 years ago Steven is born!

11.

Originally the Diamonds were based on a quartet of themes: Love, Fear, Pride, and Sorrow. It got too complicated to keep and it was abandoned, with Pink's identification of "love" being described as "particularly outdated."

12.

Notes on a sketch say that Pearl was inspired to become bold and unashamed because Pink's questions drove her to have opinions, and it's said that Rose "fell in love" with her boldness.

13.

Rebecca tells the story of driving off a ridge and getting stuck in the desert, comparing this to Ruby's tumble during her Wild West adventure and using it as inspiration. She's told this story before but here it is in print. She also included the story about using the flowers from a friend's wedding to put in Ruby's hair.

14.

Rebecca describes having to "fight" notes she was given when it had to do with Ruby and Sapphire's relationship. One she describes as NOT fighting was for a signing card depicting Ruby and Sapphire dancing. It was called "too romantic" and she decided not to worry about it since it wasn't the actual show content.

She was also scolded over her book The Answer because the powers that be expected her to downplay that relationship. She always argued that queer youth deserved these things.

15.

Tom Herpich describes being inspired to name Blue Diamond's comb "Comby" because he was watching the news about Comey getting fired from the FBI. It's also a mineral-related term and I always assumed that reference was intentional, but maybe it's not and this is the only intended significance to Comby's name?

16.

Rainbow Quartz 2.0's design is not discussed, though the other two new Fusions from "Change Your Mind" (Sunstone and Obsidian) were. RQ2 has some sketches included, but no accompanying narrative in the text.

17.

A sheet of corrupted Gems and their healed selves is offered, though it doesn't appear to be final. The obelisk in "Serious Steven" is labeled Albite. The unnamed Worm Monster, Desert Glass, and Watermelon Tourmaline are included. An unnamed birdlike Gem represents the Big Bird monster from "Giant Woman." The crab monster from "Arcade Mania" is labeled Blue Chalcedony. The Tongue Monster is drawn uncorrupted but not named. The Flower Monster from "Back to the Kindergarten" is labeled Grossular Diopside or Titanite. The invisible monster from "Island Adventure" is labeled Moonstone. The Lighthouse Gem is labeled White Topaz. A form for Larimar that was used in "Change Your Mind" but changed in Future is there. The Slinker is listed as Chrysocolla. And the Crab Monster is listed as Aventurine.

On the next page, this is changed to Bixbite (as it was in Steven Universe Future), and we then also have Lace Amethyst, Blue Lace Agate, Crazy Lace Agate (Fusion), Ocean Jasper, the Mother Centipeetle Nephrite (Facet 413 Cabochon 12) and three other Nephrites, Angel Aura Quartz, a hooded Jasper, Zebra Jasper, Biggs Jasper, Watermelon Tourmaline (labeled as Fusion of Gem * Onion--huh?), Snowflake Obsidian, "Little" Larimar, and Orange Spodumene (who was the Worm).

18.

The Rhodonite side story would have been about the love story of a Ruby and a Pearl working for Morganite. Images of Morganite and her servants, unfused, are in the book. We do not get this additional information, but Rebecca said in a panel shortly before the book's release that Rhodonite's story would have been about finding out that she had been Rejuvenated 17 times because her components kept falling in love and needing to be reset.

19.

Referring to the Diamonds on one of the charts, Steven's perspective is "I can't believe I helped these" and then there's a censor bar. Welp.

20.

Some included art by Hilary Florido features Kevin with a souped-up Koala Princess car and another where Kevin is staring at himself in the mirror in front of an altar to himself.

21.

Rebecca's sweater collection is included in the Crew art.

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

[fallen-beelzebub-reblog]

I didn't want to post this on my main page, but I also want to dump some of my feelings into the void...

So, I'm not sure where to even start, other than saying I miss you.

You were always there when I needed to vent, or when I wanted to gush about my stupid hyperfixations. You were always encouraging and supportive. You were happy to bounce ideas around and make silly OC ships with me.

You were the reason I started playing FFXIV. You would go with me through dungeons because I was too scared of random players dunking on my crappy skills. You even made an alt with me, so we could go through the entire game from start to finish together. I'm sorry we never got to the end.

You bought me PKMN SH, and restarted your own SW game so we could play through it together. I was suppose to catch you a Galarian Ponyta, but I only made it as far as the water gym. I'm sorry I didn't find your pokemon.

You started playing Crystal Chronicles with me, because I'd told you it was my favorite FF game. I know you weren't that into it, but I still had fun. I'm sorry we never beat it.

You got me a friendship bracelet with a cat on it, because you knew I liked cats, even though you were more of a dog person. So I bought us some matching sun and moon necklaces and rings to go with them. I'm sorry I never mailed them to you. I was waiting for your birthday, but you left too soon.

You had wanted to do another art collab, but I never got around to drawing the sketch for us. Whenever we had an idea for some new ship-art, I'd add it to my personal to-do list for later. When I talked about drawing comics, you always encouraged me and offered our OCs. But I never found the time to start. It was always set aside for "someday" in the future.

I'm sorry I sat on RPs for years without replying. Yet you were still happy to plot and expand their worlds with me. We had so many ideas and so many plans.

I know it's too little, too late now, but I still want to create all that stuff. I still want to make those OC standees. I want to make those drawings. You had the rest of 2022's commissions planned already, and I want to draw them all. I want to make those comics for you.

It hurts a lot to think about doing it without you, and I don't know how long it'll take me, but I promise I will.

I just hope you know that you are loved.