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thankskenpenders · 9 months ago

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The Knuckles show

The announcement of a live action Knuckles streaming miniseries was surprising, to say the least. I mean, what would such a show even be about in a version of the Sonic universe with no Angel Island and barely any characters from the games around? Is he gonna go treasure hunting with the gang from Montana or something? Would a streaming miniseries have the CGI budget to squeeze in any new game characters, even briefly? Rouge? Amy? At least one member of Team Chaotix? Anyone?

Now the show is finally out, and it turns out what they actually made was a comedy show about bumbling deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, the minor comic relief character played by Adam Pally who you might not even remember all that well from the first two movies, with Knuckles as his sidekick. While, yes, Knuckles does get a decent amount of screentime and opportunities to punch bad guys and do cool moves from the games, large stretches of this show focus on Wade's personal life, to the point that a couple times I almost forgot I was watching a Sonic-related show. If you're judging it purely by the metric of how well it adapts and engages with its source material, this surely must be one of the worst adaptations the Sonic franchise has ever seen.

So then, despite some huge complaints... why do I kinda like it?

(This will contain full spoilers for the Knuckles show.)

A brief summary of what the show is actually about because I know half of you aren't going to watch it

The show picks up not too long after the end of the second movie. Knuckles is now living in Montana with Sonic, Tails, and the Wachowskis out of a sense of debt to them, though he doesn't really see it as his home. He doesn't feel like he belongs on Earth, and his life currently lacks direction. After communing with the ghost of Pachacamac, though, Knuckles is instructed to keep his culture alive by teaching "the ways of the echidna warrior" to a new apprentice: deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, who's currently more concerned about winning a bowling tournament in Reno than anything else.

Things are complicated by the interference of two rogue GUN agents - Agent Willoughby, played by Ellie Taylor in a bad wig, and Agent Mason, played by Kid Cudi. (Yes, the artist behind the second movie's credits song is one of the bad guys in this.) They want to steal Knuckles' power and sell it to a former associate of Robotnik's played by Rory McCann (The Hound from Game of Thrones), who now works as a black market arms dealer. Yes, they're still doing the thing where Sonic and friends' quills radiate some kind of super-energy that the bad guys all want. No, I don't particularly love this element of the Paramount Sonic continuity. Anyway, they go after Knuckles and Wade, complicating their straightforward road trip to Reno. Antics ensue.

The Wade show

So here's the thing. While the first episode focuses largely on Knuckles, the entire rest of the show is very much the story of Wade, and by extension the other original human characters invented for this miniseries.

Episode 2 is about Wade having to rescue Knuckles from captivity after the GUN agents get him. Knuckles spends most of the episode in a cage.

Episode 3 is about introducing Wade's Jewish family, including his slightly overbearing mother and weird sister, so that Knuckles can learn about their family traditions and have Shabbat dinner with them (and then save them from bounty hunters that the GUN agents hired).

Episode 4 only features Knuckles at the very beginning and very end of the episode, probably for less than a minute total. Wade is captured by a bounty hunter he personally knows, and Knuckles decides to let that be a trial for Wade to overcome on his own.

The last two episodes feature the climactic showdowns with the GUN agents and their arms-dealing ally, who comes in with a mech for the obligatory final boss fight. You'd think this would be Knuckles' time to shine, but really, these episodes are mostly about the bowling tournament in Reno where Wade encounters his estranged father, wrapping up his own personal arc. While Knuckles does get some fights, a lot of the finale is spent on lengthy bowling scenes where Knuckles isn't in the room or even mentioned. It frequently feels more like a spiritual successor to '00s sports comedy movies like Dodgeball, Talladega Nights, or Blades of Glory than it does a part of the Sonic franchise, and the presence of ESPN 8: The Ocho commentary in the finale only drives those Dodgeball comparisons home. They get so immersed in the bowling stuff that it's genuinely hilarious when the show suddenly pivots and remembers "oh shit we still need to do the final boss fight"

Throughout all this, Wade is the protagonist. He's the character we spend more time with, he's the character who drives most of the major events, he's the character who gets more of an arc. The emotional core is Wade's journey. Knuckles is still present - sometimes, at least - but he's there as Wade's wingman, and also just as the excuse for there to be some fight scenes.

How much Sonic stuff is actually in this show?

Honestly? Not much.

Sonic and Tails are only in the first episode. Sonic gets some good scenes, but Tails gets a grand total of five lines. I counted. Unsurprisingly, Jim Carrey is absent as Robotnik, though he does get mentioned a fair bit. (For that matter, basically the entire established human cast beyond Wade is absent, even including Tom, though Maddie is there in episode one.)

GUN is involved in the story, which helps it feel slightly more connected to Sonic, but it kind of feels like it's GUN in name only. They don't use any recognizable GUN tech, and they don't call in the military. It's just two agents in suits. They might as well be the Men in Black.

The Master Emerald is mentioned as something Knuckles has to guard, but it's never seen. Angel Island is pictured as a drawing during the show's intro, appearing exactly how it does in Sonic 3, but it's never referenced at all beyond that.

I guess the climax taking place in and around a Reno casino is a reference to Sonic's many casino-themed levels. That's something. I'll give them that.

Oh, and if you're wondering if this is the point where we finally start to get actual music from the games: no, it's not. The soundtrack consists of a lot of '80s needle drops, many of which are generic Hollywood picks like "Holding Out for a Hero" for the billionth time, thought it at least has some slightly less obvious picks than the Mario movie. The theme song is '80s rock song "The Warrior" by Scandal. You'll hear it many times. You'll hear the Adventure era Knuckles raps zero times in this. You'll briefly hear classic A Tribe Called Quest song "Can I Kick It?" before Knuckles takes the question too literally and breaks the radio in Wade's car.

Beyond a handful of surface level references for nerds (one of which is admittedly wild - we'll get to that), this is probably the least an officially licensed adaptation of Sonic the Hedgehog has ever tried to actually engage with its source material. I struggle to think of another Sonic adaptation that has less to do with Sonic. For as much shit as I and countless others have given Penders for seemingly ignoring the content of the games in favor of building his own convoluted mythos, his Knuckles comics honestly included way more elements from the games than this show does.

Somehow, the one new(-ish) Sonic character introduced in this is the ghost of Pachacamac of all characters. Not even Tikal! Pachacamac! A very minor character nobody has particularly strong feelings about! You can't even use the excuse that they already had the character model, because they completely redesigned him compared to his cameo in the first movie to better match his Sonic Adventure design. And he's voiced by Christopher Lloyd! Honestly, so many of his lines are strained that it sounds like he's on death's door here, but then he'll surprise you with a more casual line like "just do it, man" and it catches me so off guard that I can't help but laugh.

Pachacamac here has basically nothing to do with the game character he takes his name and appearance from. Where the game character was a cruel warlord who kicked off a 3000 year cycle of violence, Paramount Pachacamac is now just this chill old man who gives Knuckles (and later Wade) advice in two episodes of the show. Hell, he also feels completely disconnected from his established role in the movies, where he's literally the guy who shot Longclaw. The show will not grapple with this contradiction at all. He's just here to be a thing fans like me will recognize from the games. Again, if that's all they wanted, it's kind of baffling that they didn't just use Tikal.

I don't love Knuckles in this

But what about Knuckles himself? Well, he doesn't feel all that much like Knuckles to me. Ironically, he sometimes feels like one of the weaker elements in his own show.

Back when the second movie came out, I noted that Knuckles' characterization seemed to be pulling heavily from MCU Thor as a gallant warrior from an archaic alien culture who doesn't really understand modern day Earth stuff. That worked for me in that movie. It was just there for spice. Just a little extra flavor for the character in what was otherwise a very faithful adaptation of Knuckles' storyline in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Without those familiar elements grounding him and with a much higher reliance on comedy, Idris Elba's Knuckles becomes a pretty one-note character in this.

In damn near every scene with Knuckles, he's going to say something about being a proud, honorable echidna warrior, or brag about his glorious feats of strength, or be confused about some Earth thing and call it sorcery, or act like every other character is also a member of some noble warrior clan. He still has his moments for sure, but this schtick kinda gets old fast, and it just doesn't feel like Knuckles to me. His entire character feels derived from the scene in the diner where Thor smashes the cup on the ground and goes "Another!" Sure, I can picture game Knuckles smashing a radio to turn it off and being a little too gung-ho about busting holes through walls. That's Knuckles behavior. But building a barbarian combat pit in the living room so the Wachowski family dog can fight the mailman? Nope. That's some other guy now. It really does just feel like them taking a broad character archetype from something popular that kinda sorta fits Knuckles and just running with that, rather than trying to actually adapt the character.

Oh, but don't worry, he wears the OVA hat for like two minutes! AND he loves grapes! See, Sonic nerds? We read the wiki! That's his favorite food! Grapes! This is gonna come up like five times!

Knuckles kind of gets an arc here, but not as much as Wade does. I think the stuff about him starting to feel at home on Earth thanks to Wade's mom and the way he connects with their Jewish family traditions is oddly sweet. This arc is kind of let down, though, by the fact that Knuckles' heritage is treated as a complete joke. He's a cartoonish pastiche of various historical warrior cultures stuck together in a blender and used mostly for comedic effect. When Pachacamac's ghost appears, he's reading a newspaper and bemoaning the fact that the Mets lost again. This is not the place for a serious examination of Knuckles' feelings on being the last of his kind.

This is far from the only time the show undercuts itself with its jokes and attempts at self-parody. In the first episode, for instance, Knuckles clashes with GUN Agent Mason and his tech-enhanced punches, leading to an extremely on-the-nose inversion of the "Do I look like I need your power?" scene showcased in the trailer for the second movie. Except this time, Agent Willoughby butts in and points out how stupid that line is in this new context, since they're literally trying to steal Knuckles' power. The fight can't just be cool, they have to get cute with it. A lot of stuff like that happens in this show.

Given all these complaints, the first two episodes left me thinking I'd be fairly negative on this show overall. This seemed like the version of the show from the fandom's collective nightmares, one that undoes all of the progress the movie series seemed to have been making towards faithfulness to the games. Like, just look at these cast posters. Is this what you want out of Sonic? Do these excite you?

But then, something strange happened. Over time, I just kind of let the jokes and shenanigans wash over me and basked in how fucking weird this show is.

And I started to actually enjoy it.

Look. The Wade & Knuckles Show was never going to be peak Sonic. But that sure as hell doesn't mean it can't be entertaining.

This show is so fucking goofy

Here's the thing.

The show is funny.

Unlike a lot of other people, I didn't hate all the wedding stuff in Hawaii in Sonic 2, because I thought a lot of it was funny, both in its actual jokes and in the ways in which they tied everything back to Sonic. Tom looking wistfully at some bodybuilders doing Top Gun shit and spraying each other with beer and being like "I wish Sonic had that" is weirdly funny. The twist that those muscle bros are all agents of the newly formed GUN, who orchestrated the wedding as an elaborate scheme to catch Sonic, is funny. Mr. Olive Garden becoming the fucking GUN Commander is VERY funny. Are any of these elements of my dream Sonic movie? No, of course not. But my dream Sonic movie was never gonna happen in live action.

The Knuckles show follows up on the comedy of the previous films by being probably the funniest live action Sonic release yet. Did every joke land for me? God no. There are some stinkers in there that made me roll my eyes. But enough of them landed that it worked out for me overall. A big part of this is the fact that they've got a good cast of actors and/or comedians here.

Adam Pally is funny as Wade, and I found myself liking him more and more as a character as the show went on. He becomes an oddly endearing loser, with some sweet moments in his personal arc that made me feel for the guy. I like Wade more than Tom now, thanks to this show. I will now be happier to see Wade in Sonic 3 than I would have been previously.

The supporting cast is frequently great, too, many of whom are playing completely cartoonish, over-the-top characters. They took a cue from how exaggerated Carrey's performance was as Robotnik and decided to just abandon all pretense that this is the real world. Stockard Channing as Wade's mom is funny, and carries some of the more sincere parts of the show. Cary Elwes as Wade's very British dad who abandoned him as a child to run off and be the world's most egotistical professional bowler is funny. Edi Patterson as Wade's sister Wanda is... well, she's kinda trying too hard, but she has her moments. The Mighty Boosh co-creator Julian Barratt(!!) as a scenery-chewing bounty hunter, who was also somehow Wade's former best friend and bowling partner, is VERY funny. I love this guy.

(Honestly, they should let more people who were on Garth Marenghi's Darkplace be in Sonic stuff. Where's Matt Berry)

This is kind of a stacked cast for a bunch of stupid side characters in a live action Knuckles show! And honestly, that just makes it funnier to me. Even when they're not funny, the fact that this exists makes it funny. They somehow convinced Paramount to give them a bunch of money to make a spiritual successor to Dodgeball about a schlubby guy who wants to beat his dad at a bowling tournament... except also Knuckles the fucking Echidna is there as his personal life coach. My life is richer for the fact that I can say that sentence. I think about all the little kids who are probably watching this show this weekend, going in expecting a show about Knuckles the Echidna and having to sit through extensive bowling scenes and lore about Wade's family, and sorry kids, but I just have to laugh. Wade isn't even on the poster! The poster is just a picture of Knuckles!! They punked those kids!!!

In a franchise where every single aspect is so carefully micromanaged these days, it feels truly special to get an adaptation this bonkers. It frequently appeals to the same part of me that enjoys the fact that there's an officially licensed Knuckles comic in which Charmy Bee's best friend (also a bee) dies of an accidental LSD overdose from a drug-laced chili dog. Or like, everything about the original 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie. Or the fact that they made seven direct-to-DVD sequels to Alpha and Omega, one of which is half a retread of the adventure from the first movie (with more annoying supporting characters in tow this time) and half a literal clip show of the first movie. The sheer absurdity of the fact that these things exist is charming to me. Except, with the Knuckles show, it has the added benefit of frequently being funny on purpose! This is why I'm not sure I'd call it "so bad it's good." Like, it's not amazing, but there were a lot of parts that I enjoyed in the exact way I was supposed to enjoy them.

Look. Here's a list of real lines of dialogue from the Sega-approved Knuckles the Echidna streaming show that they're billing as a pillar of the Paramount+ lineup, to drive this point home. Let these marinate for a minute:

"I only eat grapes, and Cool Ranch Doritos™."

"Annihilate this little girl, Wade. Crush her spirit. Humiliate her so badly her parents won't even look at her again." "Doesn't that seem like we're going a bit far?" "Not far enough."

"So is he Jewish?" "Half, I think."

"I had a friend who when he listened to Alien Ant Farm he could lift a Toyota Corolla over his head."

"I'm in dire financial straits. Due to my lawsuit against an unnamed rainforest-themed restaurant franchise, I don't have two pennies to my name."

"We're here in sunny Reno, Nevada, which is so close to Hell you can smell the sparks."

"You can't threaten me with your Jewish karate chops because I am a federal agent."

"I will say, regardless of how you feel about child abandonment - and I'm against it! - the deals at TJ Maxx can't be beat."

This is a Sonic show in which they got Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel to appear as ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators.

This is a show where Wade's mom insists upon pronouncing "Knuckles" with the throaty Hebrew "ch" sound, and declares that Knuckles is basically Jewish. Later, they watch Pretty Woman together while enjoying a nice slice of key lime pie. Knuckles comments: "I don't understand. This young streetwalker with a heart made of gold, why do the others treat her with such disdain? Is it so wrong to walk the streets?"

This is a show where the fourth episode is directed by one of the guys from The Lonely Island and features a hallucinatory low budget rock opera stage musical put on by the ghost of Pachacamac. It recounts Knuckles' life story, with Wade playing Knuckles and the "evil" Longclaw played by the bounty hunter guy who's played by the Mighty Boosh guy.

Look at this.

And also, Knuckles' singing voice is provided by Michael Bolton, which they proudly announce in the middle of the musical.

And also...

Also...???

IBLIS IS IN IT????????????

Yes, Iblis!

From Sonic '06!!

Knuckles is said to have looked for a mythical power called the "Flames of Disaster" to avenge his clan, which ended up being the power that was within him all along that lets him do fire punches yadda yadda yadda. As part of this, he apparently fought Iblis off-screen at some point, as conveyed with the giant singing papier-mâché Iblis in the musical.

...Then Iblis sings about hitting up Facebook Marketplace

How? How does any of this exist? Why reference '06 of all games? How did Iblis get into the live action Sonic movie universe before Amy and Metal Sonic? Why are they using Iblis and the term "Flames of Disaster" in such a goofy way that completely disregards their original context?

I don't know. I don't know how any of this happened. But I love it. We got a Knuckles miniseries in which Michael Bolton sings the phrase "the Flames of Disaster." The world is a beautiful place sometimes.

Some people will tell you to skip episode four. "Knuckles is barely even in it," they say. "It's dumb and pointless," they say. "They clearly just ran out of special effects budget," they say. These are people whose opinions you should disregard. The episode with the least Knuckles in it is somehow the most entertaining episode of the show. I would, in fact, go as far as to say that if you only decide to watch one episode of the Knuckles show to see what goofy bullshit they get up to, it should be this one.

I cannot be mad at this show. It's so dumb, but it completely owns the fact that it's a dumb and unnecessary spinoff. Inferiority is baked into its very DNA. It's very self-consciously redoing the premise of the first movie, but stupider. It's about The Other Cop from the movies, instead of the competent one. Instead of being into a "cooler" sport, his life revolves around professional bowling. Instead of going to Vegas, he goes to Reno. Even his tragic backstory that shaped his entire life sucks. He was abandoned by his pro bowler dad in a TJ Maxx. Not even a nicer department store. A fucking TJ Maxx. This whole show is a Dril tweet.

They put a ton of effort into making it dumb in an occasionally spectacular way. So much effort was put into that joke rock opera that fans will just write off as stupid filler. They put their whole pussies into it. This is not a poorly made show. This has better production values than half the shit made for Disney+. This was made with love. Maybe not as much love for the Sonic the Hedgehog series of video games as we'd like, but it's love nonetheless.

Maybe this show broke me and these are the ramblings of a madwoman. Maybe I'm just really nostalgic for the '90s and '00s comedy movies all the Wade stuff is modeled after. Maybe the Alan Wake fan in me just really loves it when a story pivots to a silly rock opera for no real reason. I won't discount any of these possibilities. This isn't high art. This isn't something I would recommend to anyone with zero interest in Sonic, and it also isn't going to sway Sonic fans who hate the Paramount universe. I really can't blame them for being bewildered by this show. But for a specific type of person, this is the absurd three-star Sonic-adjacent comedy miniseries of your dreams. It's a mid masterpiece.

Again, I just have to step back, realize the fact that this shouldn't exist, and smile. Sega's too afraid to do stupid bullshit with the franchise like this these days. And I can't blame them, after years of Sonic being a treated as a laughingstock. But part of me misses some of the goofy shit. No matter how much I tore some of the Archie comics apart as I was reading them for this blog, I just look back on stuff like Cal and Al or the Many Hands issues and laugh. And that same part of me looks at this show about Knuckles being the sidekick to this fucking guy, and just goes...

"We're so back."

In conclusion, I genuinely think this was a more enjoyable TV show than Sonic Prime.

I wouldn't go back and rewatch Sonic Prime anytime soon, aside from maybe, like, a couple of the Shadow-heavy episodes. Huge stretches of that show bored me to tears. The writers squandered all of that show's potential. But I would rewatch the Knuckles show, which takes a terrible premise and has a lot of fun with it, in a heartbeat. Even the bowling parts. The bowling scenes in the Knuckles show are more engaging than 70% of the fights in Sonic Prime. I am not trolling. I mean that sincerely, with all my heart. Don't @ me.

Stray observations

There is effectively zero meaningful setup for the third movie in this, unless Wade's family or the two GUN agents come back or something. Project Shadow is not mentioned in this. There is no secret post-credits scene with Gerald

The CGI in this is pretty good. Not quite on par with the movies, but pretty good. Sonic's weird forehead wrinkles are distracting in his scenes though. Please fix that

I wouldn't say I liked this as much as the second movie, which obviously gets a ton of points for, you know. The Cool Sonic Shit. But I had more fun with it than the first movie, which I still feel is a painfully generic family movie that was only saved by Tyson's redesign

"Grapes are an interesting choice for someone who doesn't use his individual fingers."

Agent Willoughby was apparently the one at GUN who had to buy the Olive Garden gift cards and set up the fake wedding. Her origin story is that she hated doing shit like that and wanted to go fight aliens

This miniseries contains another Keanu namedrop because Wade's childhood bedroom has a Speed poster on the wall. I swear, if Sonic doesn't say Shadow sounds just like Keanu...

Knuckles is familiar with Paul Blart Mall Cop

Near the end the ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators say that the 1974 Reno bowling championship was also interrupted by an extraterrestrial, and given that was exactly 50 years ago I can't write off the possibility that that was Shadow. Please for the love of god give us a sequel series after the third movie where Wade takes Shadow the Hedgehog bowling. I need this more than I need air

#tkp post #other media

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mamaestapa · 1 year ago

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yes pls omg one with joe 🥺

Baked With Love…|| Joe Burrow x reader

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•summary: You and Joe spend “Thanksgiving Eve” baking together

•warnings: fluff, Joe gets a little frisky, allusions to sex…

“Joey,” you said your boyfriend’s name in a sing songy tone, “It’s pumpkin pie time.”

Joe chuckled and walked into the kitchen, setting his phone down on the countertop of the island and pulling out a chair to sit on.

“Finally,” he sighed out, “you don’t know how long I’ve been looking forward to this.”

Today, you and Joe (well, mostly you) have been working hard in the kitchen, preparing desserts to take to your “friendsgiving” tomorrow at the Wilson’s. You and Joe agreed to make the desserts since neither one of you were too skilled when it came to preparing the actual dinner.

Earlier you made an apple pie and a batch of snickerdoodle cookies, deciding to save the pumpkin pie for last. You had Joe help you get out all of the ingredients that were needed to make his favorite dessert. Once all of the ingredients were spread out on the counter, you pulled out your grandfathers pumpkin pie recipe from the kitchen drawer where you kept the handwritten recipes to some of yours and Joe’s favorite foods. You set the recipe down on the counter, eyes scanning over the instructions.

You walked over to Joe and wrapped your arms around his torso, letting your chin rest on his shoulder as you held onto him.

“I’ll let you decide what you want to do. Crust or filling.” You said, giving him options to choose from even though you knew which one he’d pick.

“Filling.

Yep. You knew it.

“Perfect,” you replied with a sweet smile. You removed your arms from Joe’s body, reaching out to grab his hand instead so you could pull him off the barstool and over to the mixer. You gave him the ingredients needed for the filling, along with the specific instructions on how to make it perfect.

After Joe was situated by the mixer, you began to make the crust. It wasn’t too difficult to make as you’ve made it a couple times before on your own, but it was still a process that included very careful and precise measurements—it’s probably a good thing you’re making the crust and Joe isn’t.

As the two of you were hard at work putting together the pumpkin pie in a comfortable silence, you thought about how you could use some music right now…

“We need some music going right now.” Joe suggested as he opened the can of pumpkin filling.

It’s almost like he read your mind..

“You should play some Kid Cudi,”

You sighed at Joe’s song selection suggestion. It’s not that you didn’t like Kid Cudi because you really did like him and his music. However…that’s all Joe has been playing while you baked. You needed a break from Man on the Moon.

“I agree, we do need music, but can it not be Kid Cudi though?” You asked as you rolled the dough over the floured counter. Joe gasped lightly, sounding slightly offended as he said, “But I thought you liked Kid Cudi?”

You chuckled softly as you turned to look at your boyfriend. “I do,” you said with a nod, “but it’s all we’ve listened to today babe. I need a change.”

“No Taylor Swift.” Joe said, pointing at you and giving you the look.

“How about Tame Impala? We both like them.”

“Deal.”

You smiled triumphantly and clicked shuffle on your Tame Impala playlist that was full of yours and Joe’s favorite songs. Borderline began playing, making you and Joe instantly break out into your own little dances while you prepared the pumpkin pie.

Once Joe was finished with the filling and satisfied with how well it was spiced, he brought the bowl over to you so you could put it into the pie pan lined with the crust dough. You thanked Joe for making the filling before scooping it out onto the crust. You evened the filling out before putting it into the oven to bake.

As you leaned down to put the pie in the oven, you felt a pair of hands cup your butt and squeeze gently before quickly pulling away. You yelped at the contact, slamming the oven shut and whipping around to look at Joe, who was a chuckling mess.

“Joe!” you yelped, “what the hell?” You laughed as you finished your sentence. Joe held his hands up, his laughter only growing when he watched your mouth gape open. His hands were covered in flour, meaning there were definitely two white hand prints on your butt right now.

You let out a laugh before prancing over to the counter covered in flour. You grabbed a handful of flour and held your hand up, “Come here Joey.”

Joe chuckled and slowly made his way over to you, “Lay it on me, sweets.”

You took the flour in your hand and rubbed it all over Joe’s black t-shirt, making sure to leave extra white patches over his pecs and abs. Joe reached over and grabbed more flour, throwing it onto the top of your head. You shrieked and grabbed more flour, doing the same thing to Joe. You were both laughing messes as you had a flour fight in the kitchen for a good two minutes. However, the fight stopped when Joe got a handful of flour, rubbed his hands together, and left two handprints on your boobs. You looked down at the white handprints on your sweater. Joe’s handprints looked huge on your chest…

You don’t know what came over you, but you flung yourself at Joe, kissing him harshly. He seems taken aback at first, but he smirked into the kiss as he realized his idea had worked. It’d been a little while since the two of you have been intimate…

When you both pulled away for Joe, Joe huskily ordered you to jump. You did as he said, jumping slightly as he helped you up and sat you on the counter. The two of you made out heavily for the next couple minutes before you remembered how messy the kitchen was. You pulled away from Joe, glancing at the mess on the floor and countertop across from you before looking back at your boyfriend.

“Someone should clean up the mess we made.”You said, cocking your head to the side and giving Joe a pointed look. He just smirked as his hands trailed up your sides, resting on your rib and cupping the side of your left breast.

“Just wait…” he trailed off as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, “because that won’t the only mess we made that’ll have to be cleaned up.” He bit down softly on your earlobe, tugging it gently before pulling head away from you. Your breath hitched in the back of your throat as you looked into Joe’s intense blue eyes gaze.

A smirk pulled at your lips as you wrapped your arms Joe’s neck, clawing at his back as you harshly crashed your lips against his.

Pumpkin pie wasn’t the only sweet thing Joe was going to be tasting tonight…

hi loves!!

i don’t know why i made this a little spicy? i wanted to do something fluffy but as i started writing, i was like mmmm no i should do this instead😌

anyways, i hope you’re enjoying these thanksgiving/holiday blurbs! i’ve gotten some fun requests to go along with the ideas i had too :) i’ll probably post one more tonight, and do the rest tomorrow…because there’s a lot lol

hope you all have a great day/night😚🤍

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x you #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow blurb #joe burrow fic #thanksgiving blurbs

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joeys-babe · 1 year ago

Text

Joey B Imagines: Birthday Boy

————————————————————————-

Summary: December 10th, Joe’s 27th birthday spent with you and your twin boys.

Warnings: Fluff, *he's not injured!!*

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

December 10th, 2023

Joe had awoken in bed by himself this morning to his surprise. He had expected you, his wife, to be waking him with smooches all over his face but your side of the bed was empty.

He rolled over to grab his phone off his nightstand when the setup sitting on it made him smile. Every year since you and Joe got together in high school when you guys were 16 and 17, on Joe’s birthday you'd get him white roses. The number of them would be the age he was turning that day. There they were, 27 white roses in a vase.

Realizing there was a card and a gift bag propped up next to it, Joe leaned up in bed and picked up the card first.

Happy Birthday, Joey!

Gosh, how are you 27?! You're getting old babe. JKJK. I just wanted to tell you that I’m so happy to share another birthday with you, this is the 11th one that we've celebrated together and I hope I've made every year better than the last. 26 was such a year for you, and I'm proud to say I was by your side for all of it. Cheers to another year of getting to show you how much I love you. You're my husband, my rock, my happiness, my high school sweetheart, and most importantly my best friend. I love you more than words can explain, Joey Shiesty.

To my nerdy, quirky, antisocial, video game, Kid Cudi-obsessed boy, Happy 27th birthday.

Love, your y/n.

Joe didn't realize tears were streaming down his cheeks till he put the card down and saw a wet spot on the blanket on his lap. He quickly composed himself and grabbed the gift bag.

Pulling the contents out of the bag, he felt his eyes well up again when he realized it was a photo album.

It was white leather and on the front in gold font, it simply read “Us.”

Joe flipped to the first page and it had a song lyric quoted.

“When they wanna see how true love should be, they'll just look at us.”

Flipping the page again, it was a collage of pictures of you and him as high school lovebirds. A picture of him picking you up after a win while you were in your cheer uniform, one of you two sitting next to each other at lunch just smiling from ear to ear, you and him sitting in the back of one of his friend's truck while at a drive-in movie, a pic of you two at senior prom, and finally one of you guys graduating.

Joe flipped the page and wasn't at all surprised to see it was the Ohio State era of his life. Since Joe was a year older than you, you were stuck in Athens still when Joe was a freshman at OSU. Long distance sucked, but you guys made it work, and multiple pictures were showcasing that. You took screenshots of you and Joe's face timing that he had never seen before. There was a lovesick look in his eye that made Joe giggle knowing he's still just as infatuated with you. His favorite picture was the one of him lying on top of you in his dorm bed, you were running your fingers through his mullet as you cuddled him.

The LSU page made Joe’s heart warm, so many pictures of you standing to the side and smiling at him just so proud of everything he had accomplished during his time there. There was one slightly spicy photo that made Joe do a double take. That was the first photo you had ever sent him with the intention of turning him on. While Joe was out doing something with the team after winning the national championship you put nothing on but his letterman jacket and the “Big Dick Joe” that he had.

The next few pages only made Joe smile get bigger.

In order it was him getting drafted, the 2022 AFC Championship win + engagement, the wedding, finding out I was pregnant, the gender reveal, the boy's arrival, and everything in between.

When the last few pages were empty for more memories Joe shut the book and put it off to the side. He again had to compose himself and wipe his eyes after the emotional walk through memory lane, you guys had been through so much together and Joe couldn't a picture his life without you.

Joe was about to text you but as soon as he went to grab his phone you were walking into the bedroom. Truthfully you had been downstairs listening to him secretly through the baby monitor you had put up in the bedroom. You had heard him wrestle around in the sheets before sniffles were heard. After it went quiet for a bit you went upstairs and watched him through the cracked bedroom door as he wiped his eyes.

You walked towards the bed with a stack of pumpkin-flavored pancakes topped with candles singing Happy Birthday as Joe wore a huge grin.

After you were finished singing, Joe blew out the candles and you placed the plate on his lap.

“G’morning, Joey. Happy Birthday, my love. - you

He pulled you into a hug and squeezed you so tight.

“I love you so much, y/n.” - Joe

You rubbed his back and kissed him after you pulled away, his arms still around your waist.

“What did you wish for when you blew out your candles?” - you

“Can't tell you, you know it wouldn't come true if I did.” - Joe

“You're no fun.” - you

“I'm just kidding, baby. I actually didn't make a wish.” - joe

“What why? Did I not give you enough time to? I'm sor-” - you

“No. You gave me plenty of time. I just don't have anything to wish for. I have everything I could ever want or need so there's no need for me to wish for something. I have a beautiful amazing wife, perfect twin boys, a good career…” - Joe

You stared at him dumbfounded, wondering how you were ever able to bag this sweet man.

“You’re gonna make me cry.” - you sniffled

“C’mere.” - Joe opened his arms to you

Immediately in his embrace, Joe held the back of your head and kissed your temple.

“I've already cried twice.” - Joe giggled

“Awe Joey. Okay enough sappy stuff, you eat your birthday breakfast while I go clean the kitchen up.” - you pulled away from him and headed for the door when he stopped you

“Wait don't go! I'll help you clean later, can you stay with me right now?” - Joe

You smiled sweetly at him before waking back over to the bed and getting under the covers with him.

Joe turned on Spongebob and ate his pancakes, a few minutes in you heard little feet in the hallway before knocks on the door could be heard.

“Mommy? Daddy?” - Tyson

“You can come in, Ty!” - Joe

The twins happily opened the door and toddled over to the bed. You lifted them onto the bed and they sat with their backs against the footboard.

Tyson giggled as he jokingly got his hand under the covers and tickled Joe’s foot. Joe played along with it for a little bit, loving the sound of his son’s laugh before he started fighting back.

“Do you boys remember what today is?” - you

“Uhm… no momma.” - Miles

“It's someone's birthday!” - you

Tyson and Miles looked at each other for a second before they gasped at the same time and yelled out the answer in unison.

“Daddy’s!” - The twins yelled

“Mhm! Remember what you guys made yesterday?” - you

The boys nodded and you instructed them to go retrieve what they made from their room.

Joe gave you a skeptical raised eyebrow look, but you just leaned in and kissed him while you still had the chance.

It wasn't long till you could hear those little feet again and Tyson and Miles were running back into the bedroom. They handed Joe a few pieces of paper after he put his empty plate on his nightstand.

Tyson drew a picture of him, his daddy, and his uncles passing football at the practice fields.

Miles drew a picture of him and Joe playing with Hot Wheels tracks.

The drawings had Joe feeling a different form of bliss, his heart warmed to an insane level as he looked at the little details in his boys’ drawings.

“I love them, boys. Thank you.” - Joe croaked

“You welcome!” - Tyson beamed

“Dada? You sad?” - Miles

“No, Daddy’s really happy.” - Joe

“But you cryin'…” - Miles

“He’s crying happy tears buddy, really happy tears.” - Joe

“Oh… okay!” - Miles

“You guys should go play. Mommy and Daddy are gonna clean up before Gramps and Grammy come.” - you

When the boys left the room you turned to Joe who was still crying. You softly kissed his cheek and wiped his tears off of his cheeks.

“You okay, baby?” - you

“Never been better. This is the best feeling.” - Joe

“Good. They worked hard on those. Come follow me downstairs. I have something cool to show you.” - you

“You gonna give me my 27 birthday spankings? Or is that later?” - joe

You laughed as you pulled him out of bed and shoved him into the closet, asking without words for him to put clothes on since he was only in boxers.

He returned in sweatpants and a T-shirt and followed you downstairs.

“Is the cool thing you have to show me a sink full of dishes? Or do I have to unload the dishwasher?” - Joe

“You’re exempt from those chores today since you are the birthday boy. But no, I’m giving you one of your gifts now.” - you

Joe smiled and I told him to close his eyes as we started walking into the kitchen. He did as you said and you took his hands in yours to guide him to where the setup on the counter was. You smiled at the secret camera you had recording and dropped Joe’s hands.

Telling him to open his eyes, Joe looked around rather confused but when he looked down at the counter his eyes went as wide as saucers.

There was a positive Clearblue test next to the same onesie you showed Joe when you found out you were pregnant with the twins.

You watched Joe’s eyes start to water as his chin started quivering, causing your own eyes to get misty as you smiled at him.

“You’re pregnant?” - Joe grinned

“Mhm.” - you smiled as tears dripped down your face

Immediately his arms were around you, lifting you and spinning you around as he cried into your neck.

“We’re having another baby!” - Joe cried

When he put you down, Joe picked up the pregnancy test with shaky hands and fell against the counter with his head buried in his arms. He was so overcome with emotion.

“Are you happy?” - you rubbed his back

Joe stood up abruptly and nodded vigorously.

“I've never been so happy. What if we have a girl, y/n? I could be a girl dad.” - Joe cried again

“Oh baby.” - you pulled him into your arms

Joe hugged you so tight but was now trying not to put pressure on your stomach now that he was aware his baby was in there.

“I love you so much, y/n. You and our family are the best things to have ever happened to me. I can't believe we're having another baby.” - Joe

“I love you and our babies so much. I can't believe it either, I'm so excited.” - you

“How long have you known? Well about the baby?” - Joe

“Not too long, found out a couple of days ago and thought I'd wait till today.” - you

Joe nodded and leaned down to be level with your stomach. It hasn't gotten bigger yet but Joe didn't care, his baby was still in there.

“Hey, baby. It's your daddy. Me and your momma already love you so much. We can't wait to meet you.” - Joe

“I have an ultrasound next week. Think you can go?” - you

“For sure. I'll make it happen.” - Joe

The rest of the day Joe couldn't keep his hands off of you, always making sure you weren't farther than arm's length away from him.

Robin asked what was up later at dinner when you rejected your usual favorite wine that she and Jimmy had brought.

You and Joe were ecstatic to tell his parents about Baby Burrow #3 coming next fall and they were just as happy finding out about their next grandkid.

That night after dinner, dessert (pumpkin pie of course), and putting the boys to sleep, Joe and I were lying in bed talking about everything baby.

“y/n, you know, I've only been 27 for a day but I feel like it's going to be the best year yet.” - Joe

“You think so?” - you

“I know so because I’m gonna spend it with you, our boys, and baby Burrow.” - Joe

You had a strange feeling that Joe was right, but also an overwhelming feeling of love washed over you. How'd you get so lucky with Joe?

————————————————————————-

Authors note: happy bday Joey B!

there was a birthday imagine request in my messages so here you go!

hope you enjoyed! 💕

#joe burrow #bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joey b #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow fan fic

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erinwantstowrite · 4 months ago

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how do you pick titles for your chapters? Chapter 15 absolutely blew me away when I started to think about it in the context of the title (my baby, my baby) BECAUSE the line after is “you’re my baby, say it to me” and the chapter almost just feels like dick reaffirming to Peter that he truly does care about him, and that isn’t changing anytime soon. It almost at certain points feels like he’s desperate for Peter to understand how deeply he loves him (but he understands Peter’s apprehension). Anyways, I wish I had payed more attention to titles through the chapters (my brain is begging for a re-read) because I’m sure there’s a lot of thought there and I’m curious what this looks like from your perspective!

Ahhhh!! I think this is the first ask I've gotten about chapter titles (I could be wrong, I get so many a day that I often don't see them all).

They're all lyrics from songs!! alighterwood and I both go through the contents of each chapter and pick out what we would most like the chapter title to focus on, then we search for a song that fits that segment/scene/overarching theme the best. We mostly go looking for a specific stanza or line that fits the vibes... or clues in to a bigger hint. :3

Chapter 1 "slipping through my fingers, all the time" is from ABBA's song, Slipping Through My Fingers. Not only because it was pretty literal in that Peter disappeared when Tony went to grab his hand to catch him, but also because the song talks about a daughter growing up so fast that the mother feels like there wasn't enough time. It's a big clue as to how Tony will feel later on- Peter's only been gone a couple months, but in that time, he faced a lot and grew up. This is definitely Tony's song for the series

2 is from Mr. Rager by Kid Cudi. "birds singing flying around" We both think it fits the vibes of Peter learning more about Gotham and the resident vigilantes, so it mostly represents the Bats

and so on and so forth. All of the chapter titles are picked out like that! there's 15 chapters so far so i'm not gonna go through every single one, but I will mention: when a lyric from Jericho is mentioned, it's got a big hint to our villains. it'll come up again in later chapter names (*^▽^*)

(alighterwood has a playlist for LoF! I listen to it a LOT).

#erinwantstowrite #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #leap of faith ao3 #leap of faith catch me if you can #leap of faith #peter parker in gotham #thank you for the ask!

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taste-in-music · 27 days ago

Text

my top 10 songs of 2024

picks 11-30 beneath the cut

30. Divine by Saleka, Kid Cudi: Before watching Trap by M. Night Shyamalan, I knew it was part thriller about catching a serial killer, part vehicle to launch his daughter Saleka’s singing career. After watching it, I was a certified stan of father and daughter alike, because I don’t care about the nepo baby allegations when the music is this fucking good. (I also had a blast with the movie. Must a film “make sense?” Is it not enough to watch Josh Hartnett go berserk at the in-universe equivalent of the Eras Tour?) While Saleka created an entire album of bangers for her fictional pop star Lady Raven, “Divine” has to be my pick off the track list, a silky-smooth R&B crooner with an energetic thrum to make it appropriate for both chilling out and throwing back. Saleka isn’t the first to compare a love affair to a divine calling, but she does a great job of actually capturing the intrigue and transcendence evoked by the metaphor, and she also has great chemistry with Kid Cudi. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a sequel to Trap, partly because I'm always down to watch Josh Hartnett go berserk, but mostly because that means we'd probably get another album from our corvid queen.

29. Scorsese Baby Daddy by SZA: SZA comes in right under the wire once again with a release in December, making my job a lot harder, because if SZA drops new music, how could I not include it on my year-end list? It’s hard to say which track of her SOS deluxe album LANA is going to stick in the zeitgeist, but my immediate pick is “Scorsese Baby Daddy,” which was so immediately addictive that I listened to it 20 times in a row when it first dropped. SZA treads familiar lyrical ground on the song, grappling with insecurity, unapologetically pursuing amazing sex, and spiraling into emotional attachments. “Addicted to the drama,” she sings in tandem with the song’s title, batting away the self-chastisement with the heady rush of a new love, “doing the most” and hoping it isn’t too much for her lover to take. Much like my list pick off SOS, “F2F,” I love how “Scorsese Baby Daddy pivots SZA’s sound towards a loping rock palette, a swaggering drum kick fleshed out with guitars and more affirmed vocal delivery. Sonics aside, it’s SZA’s conviction and blunt honesty that makes the track one of the best of the year, even if it arrived the latest.

28. Tough Love by Gracie Abrams: This song could’ve been a ten second voice note of Gracie Abrams saying “No chance I’ll waste by twenties on random men / Not one of them is smarter than all my friends” and it still would’ve made this list. Abrams’s Swiftian mode of detail-laden songwriting doesn’t always cohere for me, but on “Tough Love,” they map out a chilly post-breakup night in Boston. Killing time on a bench by the river. A ripped jacket. Her ex kicking her in bed while sleeping. Aaron Dessner’s production captures the melancholic expanse of these experiences: atmospheric drones with a hint of warmth, the gentlest swell of strings. It allows Abrams’s storytelling to shine, celebrating female friendship and the newfound independence of young adulthood, reveling in its thorny edges and small joys. “Tough Love” is the gentle smack upside the head, the reminder that no matter what useless boys might throw your way, you never have to take it on alone.

27. It's No Fun by Grace Enger: Enough about romanticizing my life and daydreaming about unrequited crushes! Only Grace Enger is brave enough to tell it like it is about wanting someone who will never want you back: it's no fun. Like her previous best track “The Neighborhood,” Enger ups the ante behind her singer-songwriter schtick on "It's No Fun." Her acoustics get a little crunchy and electric, her voice rises to a frustrated belt, the drums clammer in like a pounding heartbeat. “In my eyes, you’re the sun,” she sings, “Think you liked the way I spun and spun and spun around you.” The only way to keep yourself from getting sucked back into the toxic cycle is severing the ties, and Enger dramatizes this in one of the most cathartic bridges this year, describing the fury at having to take the high ground, break off the friendships, and pursue reconciliation all on her own. Just because the love isn’t mutual doesn’t mean that your heart won’t break, and I’m grateful for songwriters like Enger that transform these feelings into songs I can scream along to to get to the other side of it.

26. DENIAL IS A RIVER by Doechii: I was embarrassingly late to the Doechii train. While I had heard praise for her latest record Alligator Bites Never Heal throughout the year, it took watching her electric turn at NPR’s Tiny Desk to finally get off my ass and check out her music. The song that lit the fire was “DENIAL IS A RIVER,” a dialogue between Doechii and an alternate persona dramatized as a rapped conversation about her life until now and her current mental state. It doesn't just offer bouncy flows, memorable punchlines, and sparkling chemistry, but a great place to start if you’re also just now catching up with the Doechii phenomenon. Her free-flowing narration is basically a "previously on..." segment, covering catching up with an ex’s side piece over Zoom, being thrust into the spotlight in the wake of viral success, and coping with the stress through less-than-sustainable means, culminating in a breathing exercise where Doechii dramatically dry-heaves into the mic. Doechii’s raw wit and charisma as a performer is impossible to deny, and I won't make the mistake of being behind on her releases ever again.

25. Truth Or Dare by Tyla: One of the most exciting rising figures of pop music in 2024 was South African amapiano star Tyla, who broke through onto the Billboard charts last year with the splashy jam “Water.” The self-titled debut album came in 2024, and with it a cavalcade of sexy, sumptuous music perfectly crafted for glitzy nights on the town. “Truth or Dare” first popped out to be when I saw Tyla’s set at Lollapalooza, where she delivered its silky beat and hooky melody while dancing atop a giant tiger in a marble printed bodysuit with a team of backup dancers. On the song, she cuts into an addressee that dismissed her in the past but is suddenly all up over her now that she’s successful. “Dare you to forget / That you used to treat me just like anyone,” she reminds them with a voice like sugar viper venom, “Is it true you care? / Now that you see the love from everyone.” It’s that touch of spikiness within the sensuality that lends the song its magnetism, a raised brow daring you to keep coming back for more.

24. Right Back To It by Waxahatchee, MJ Lenderman: “Right Back To It” was easy pick for one of the best songs of 2024 the day it came out. Mind you, that day was January 9th. Nearly an entire year later, that first impression hasn’t faded in the slightest. With her quiet confidence and knack for serene folk compositions, I’m convinced Katie Crutchfield could write poignant yet down-to-earth crooners about complicated relationships and the passage of time in her sleep. But “Right Back To It” is no snoozefest, it's vivid and homey, all tangy banjo and canoodling guitar with a steady foundation of bass to anchor it into the earth. Crutchfield’s vocals are a warm hug, her signature rasp melding perfectly against MJ Lenderman’s subtle harmonizing. But what makes the song particularly special is how it articulates what it's like to have someone with whom, no matter how much time as passed or how many conflicts arise, you can return to with certainty and stability. “You just settle in like a song with no end,” Crutchfield says, knowing it's something to hold close to her chest: “if I can keep up, we’ll get right back to it.”

23. Check by FLO: British trio FLO are on a quest to bring the sultry sass of 2000s girl groups into the 2020s, bursting onto the scene with the cheeky confidence of divas that have already been slaying the scene for years. Jorja Douglas, Stella Quaresma, and Renée Downer wield their supple triad harmonies into sticky hooks that rival the best songs of the era they pull from. Is this song catchy? Check. Are the harmonies on point? Check. Is it one of the best pop songs of the year? Check. The lyrics focus on the post-launch vetting process of modern dating, the narrator ringing off each desirable quality of her new beau like she's scribbling it in a heart-locked diary with a glitter gel pen. He’s trustworthy, loyal, spoils her, and pays for their dates. Finished off with perky squiggles of guitar, gossamer synths, and a locked-in drum groove that begs for hip swinging, it’s a song that matches the boy toy described, “a perfect ten.”

22. Yeah x10 [MIXED] by Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Boys Noize: It’s hard to write about a song off the Boys Noize-remixed version of the Challengers soundtrack in isolation, because my enjoyment of that album is deeply wrapped up in how every song on it flows together. But amidst the pulse-pounding thrum of sultry electronics that comprise the record materializes the particularly insidious hook of “Yeah x10,” built around the simple refrain of the songs title. I can’t tell you how many times this year I mumbled “Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah” under my breath as I typed up essays, folded my laundry, or took out the trash, infusing these mundane tasks with the badass bitchery of Tashi Duncan and co. That’s the power of this song, it’s two-clap pop-and-locking, the sly swerves of car tires skidding across pavement, all ratcheting up to a fever pitch of static before it locks back into a catwalk groove. With this song yeah-yeah-ing it’s way into your ears, for a moment, we all get to be part of the hottest movie of the year.

21. THINGS BEHIND THINGS BEHIND THINGS by Bon Iver: “THINGS BEHIND THINGS BEHIND THINGS” hit me late in autumn, as most of Bon Iver’s music does, ushered in by chilly November winds and existential agony over what the hell I’m going to do with my life. It nestles comfortably within the established Bon Iver sound—folky guitars, crystalline textures, alto pontification from Justin Vernon. “I’m afraid of changing,” he admits, and this anxiety over stagnation saturates deep into the song. Lyrically, he bends platitudes backwards into modes of self-examination, “I get caught looking in the mirror,” “I got caught compiling my own news,” pursuing an explanation for it all. The song’s title offers up a hazy gesture towards the interconnectivity that links our lives together, echoes of history swirling into the edges of our reflection. “THINGS BEHIND THINGS BEHIND THINGS” is as comforting as it is confounding, a reminder that we cannot move forward without looking back, looking in.

20. Sucia by Empress Of: Just one of the many sensual pop gems on Empress Of’s forth record For Your Consideration, “Sucia” pulls apart from the rest of the pack by being one of the most unapologetically dirty songs of the year. “I’m’a roll around in it,” Lorely Rodriguez taunts over a filthy combination of churning bass and grumbling vocal samples that’ll get your ass shaking. Throughout the song, she alternates fluidly between English and Spanish, and boy howdy am I glad I sharpened my language skills while studying in Spain this year, because it means I can furiously blush along to her lyrics, which are bonkers explicit and so so fun. “I can’t keep clean when your face is between / Cuando estás entre mis piernas” makes me feel like I need to take a goddamn shower. “I smell your sweat / You’re so hard / to forget” is the lyric break of the year, slipping by so slyly you might miss the double entendre. “Sucia” ecstatically revels in the dirtiness, celebrating the pleasure it brings, polishing away the grime to reveal the sparkling pop gem at the core.

19. Motorcycle by Remi Wolf: I usually turn to Remi Wolf’s music for rambunctious production and boisterous energy, but on “Motorcycle,” the butter-smooth ballad that lands smack dab in the middle of her latest album Big Ideas, she chooses to take things slow. It’s truly special when the moment of reprieve on a pop album hits just as hard as the bops, and on “Motorcycle,” Remi Wolf’s minimal approach works wonders. Every detail is perfectly curated to supplement the sensual, balmy atmosphere, a sly shuffle of bass, a sprinkle of snare, a wa-wa-ing synth. The details are languid and sun soaked, smoking on the roof sans bikini top, watercolor puddles, the ordinary romance of positing “we could get a dog.” It’s hard to make comfortable rest as compelling as bombastic breakups or chaotic crushing, but Remi Wolf pulls it off. What’s the good of all that drama if there isn’t a great song to play over the end credits? “Motorcycle” is the sound of the breeze rippling through your hair as you ride off into the sunset.

18. bye by Ariana Grande: It’s a bold move to have the first proper song on an album be all about endings, but Ariana Grande pulls it off on her spectacular seventh record eternal sunshine. Despite the tragedy of the song describing a breakup, “bye” is a downright joyous listen. Like other titanic entries in her catalogue, such as "Honeymoon Avenue," "Greedy" and "Into You," "bye" transforms Ariana’s familiar realm of modern R&B-pop and infuses it with a timeless, exuberant extravagance off the bouncy horn accents, disco-dappled synth swing, and punchy strings. It’s the perfect backdrop for her to reframe the details of a breakup with a soft smile, her friend Courtney pulling up in the driveway, moving boxes, anticipating the moment in the future where she can "look back with love." Despite the controversies and Broadway blockbuster adaptations that shaped her public image in 2024, Ariana Grande sounds wholly comfortable and secure in the choices she narrates here. At this point in her career, she has nothing left to prove, but that doesn’t mean she can’t keep raising the bar regardless.

17. Juna by Clairo: Living up to the title of the album it hails from, Clairo’s sweet little indie hit “Juna” is reserved yet effortlessly charming, infusing her cozy bedroom-pop aesthetic with swanky jazz ornamentation. “Juna” shimmies and sparkles with lush details, glistening keys, velveteen-soft guitars, and a silly yet sumptuous mouth-trumpet solo. Clairo’s delivery throughout the track is reserved, almost hushed, like she’s whispering lovestruck confessions right into your ear. “You make me want to buy a new dress,” she whisps, before infusing the sweetness with a subtle sensuality, “you make want to slip off a new dress.” The subdued, rich orchestration of the song lends to its palpable intimacy and shimmying anxiety of recognizing just how well somebody knows you, how exciting it could be to eventually see more of them. “With you there’s no pretending,” Clairo affirms. “Juna” feels warm and familiar, but also opens up a new dimension to her sound. Despite the lingering shyness, she comes off more assured in herself than ever.

16. Better Hate by Jessica Pratt: My adoration for Jessica Pratt’s album Here In The Pitch was a slow burn this year. While opener “Life Is” captured my attention back in July, but it was the follow up of “Better Hate” that fully enraptured me and kept me coming back. The song's composition is dark yet sumptuous, like pitch black velvet, and inscrutable yet delectable mode of chamber pop infused with a lively bossa nova swing. Pratt’s voice careens out of the tapestry like it’s pouring out of a gramophone in the corner of an attic, welcoming the listener to ponder the nebulous lyrics on self-recognition and a relationship in question alongside her: “I’ve been clear before / what’s the longing there? / Just a sad case, I’m nobody’s fool.” Do I know what that means? Not completely, but I believe from the conviction of her delivery that Jessica Pratt does. In the meantime, I’ll have to keep letting this song welcome me into its enigmatic depths, parsing for meaning in the darkness. If we're all here in the pitch, we might as well get comfortable.

15. cherry cola by Devon Again: This might just be the poppiest pop song of the year, in title, subject matter, and sound. I started bumping Devon Again’s “Cherry Cola” back during the Summer, and in the months since, its pulse-pounding, explosive sugar rush hasn’t waned in the slightest, each repeated spin as fun and fizzy as the last. Every time I hear it my heart feels too big for my chest. Or maybe I'm just overcaffeinated, much like Devon Again herself. The song abounds with sweets-studded details of a whirlwind romance that’s almost too intense to bear. “Loving you is like sipping on straight syrup,” Devon Again belts on the chorus, “Cover me in in candy / I’m so lucky that I get to know you.” The production lives up to that description, reducing the thrill down to sticky pop concentrate. Every synth, cymbal hit, and flourishing swarm of guitar builds up and up to an impossible height, the carbonation foaming up over the lip of the glass and cascading over you for a taste of bubbly joy that you’ll never forget. Shoutout to @bellamysgriffin for putting this on my radar.

14. Theater by Etta Marcus: Etta Marcus busts down the door on her debut album The Death of Summer & Other Promises with “Theater,” an avalanche of drama and panache you’d expect from the song’s title. Lyrically, she recounts putting on a performance of perfection and nonchalance for her partner, and as the song progresses and the instrumental escalates, the reality of the situation peels back and back until there’s nothing but an empty stage and glaring lights laying her desperation bare for everyone to see. “I wanna be loved,” Marcus confesses with the power of an entire breath as the drums crash in, “I wanna be loved / Like right out of a movie where I’ll be the star.” Imagination is a powerful and necessary tool for us to picture the best for ourselves, but it can’t stop the pain which comes with returning to reality and all that idealism fades away. “Theater” is the song for that first breath of realization, the daydream and nightmare slamming up against each other in one of the best power ballads of the year. A round of applause, now, everyone, for the damn good show.

13. Ever Seen by beabadoobee: Even as beabadoobee continues to come into her own as a singular singer-songwriter and bona-fide rock star, working with the likes of Rick Rubin, I must confess that my favorite music from her will always be her adorably earnest synth pop tracks, like those from her 2021 EP Our Extended Play. Thank goodness she still offered up some of that on her latest record This Is How Tomorrow Moves with “Ever Seen,” a song so ridiculously lovestruck and adorable that it makes me both euphorically gleeful and jealously infuriated. The song captures the feeling of gazing into your lover’s eyes so hard you can feel hearts blooming in your pupils like a cartoon character, a gauzy whirlwind of fluttering guitar strums and beabadoobee’s cotton-candy wisp of a voice. She alludes to deeper reasons why this relationship means so much to her, but at the end of the day, it distills down into a single detail: “He has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.” And sometimes it really is that simple, the act of seeing, of being seen, that mutual recognition that’s simply electrifying in such circumstances. Isn’t that what love is all about, at the end of the day? Until I’m able to find such magic in the real world, I’ll just have to keep returning to this song to remind that it’s obtainable in the first place.

12. The Architect by Kacey Musgraves: Kacey Musgraves writes an open letter to a higher power on “The Architect,” wrestling with the desire for there to be “blueprints or plans” that would imbue her life with a deeper meaning. Whether you’re religious or not, I think there’s something universal in this feeling, the clutching for an explanation of life’s haphazard mechanics and boundless beauty. Musgraves scales these emotions from a single sweet apple to the Grand Canyon to her own face in the mirror, her clarion voice set against a gentle rollick of simple strummed guitar. My favorite touch are Daniel Tashian’s backing vocals, a voice in the distance that seems reachable one moment and invisible the next. The song finds fruitful ground in the ambiguous confluence of fate and free will. “I thought that I was too broken / And maybe too hard to love,” she sings in the song’s final verse, “I was in a weird place, then I saw the right face / And the stars and the planets lined up.” Whose face is it? The architect’s? A lover’s? Her own? Even though life’s grand plan remains out of reach, Musgraves relays how, every so often, we can still find moments where everything seems to make perfect sense.

11. Docket by Blondshell ft. Bully: “Docket,” Blondshell’s one-off single in collaboration with indie rocker Bully, takes the award for my favorite opening line of the year: “I said ‘Don’t shake my hand it’s wet’ he said, ‘I’ll kiss it instead’ / He said ‘I saw the whole show,’ I’m not scared of the sweat.” There’s an allure in someone cutting through your excuses and wanting you for everything you are, no matter how repugnant it can be. On the rest of the song, Blondshell and Bully unpack a doom spiral of sex and guilt amidst life on the road, parsing through the desire for closeness and distance, marking down hookups on a checklist of obligations to smother the self-loathing. “It’s cruel to let you love me” they harmonize at the brink of the chorus, remembering the partner waiting for them back home, “I don’t want what I need.” The song animates the whirlwind of shame and half-satiated lust with scorching guitar riffs and screamed backing vocals pushed deep into the mix, the admission of guilty conscious clawing to the surface at the shoulder-shrug declaration at the end of the chorus: “My worst nightmare is me.”

Honorable mentions: "Down Bad" by Taylor Swift, "Do you wanna" by Astrid Sonne, "Comin' Around Again" by Amber Mark, "Love Me Not" by Ravyn Lenae, "Pushing It Down and Praying" by Lizzy McAlpine, "Whatever Forever" by Ber, "Houdini" by Dua Lipa, "Big Love" by Suki Waterhouse, "Touch" by Katseye, "Cha Cha" by Sophie Hunter, and "Sticky" by Tyler, The Creator, GloRilla, Sexyy Red, and Lil Wayne.

And that's the list! In a year where the blockbuster releases didn't let up for a second, I'm sure I missed a lot of great stuff. Please let me know what your favorite songs of 2024 were!

Thank you all for the support for this blog throughout the year. Here's to 2025 being just as amazing for music.

Much love, TIM

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