#love these guys so greasy and weird and stupid my favourite

[rodentjazz]

Skuudles (sucking doodles)

[lexusiswriting]

A love you deserve (Ricky Olson) - Part 5 of ? - 18+

Hi guys!

This part is a little different and a little spicier (at least I hope it is) and I want to say sorry in advance if it's not good, because I rarely write this kind of scenes, but I thought they were important to the story. So I hope it will not be that bad, haha.

Warnings: language, 18+.

Taggs: @multifandomcrackhead, @nicelittlenightmares, @roll-tide-babe89, @skulliecadaver-blog, @21-century-tae, @melissa-anderson, @abiomens, @w743, @insanitywulf

Requests: OPEN.

_______________________________________

The next 3 weeks went by very quickly. Having to perform nearly every day, helping around with the merch and preparing the international tour were no easy tasks. But they kept me going and helped me forget what happened. Our manager changed the program of our band in Warped Tour, making sure I will not see Ben at all, which was very sweet of him.

We had fun parts as well, every band having a party in their bus from time to time. Tonight we were going to be the hosts, but thankfully the guys had the task to buy everything we needed. I was left to clean a little bit, even though the place will look even dirtier than it did before.

I took a little break when I heard the phone. It was a message from Ricky:

~ What time should I be there? Maybe you need an extra hand. ~

~ See you at 8. ~

That’s one thing that changed. Ricky and I got closer these past weeks. We helped each other to feel better and I think both of us did a good job. All I can say, Chris is a little jealous over our bonding.

_______________________________

After a little chatting with our friends from Sleeping with Sirens, Black Veil Brides, All Time Low and many more, everyone wanted to play our favourite game: truth or dare with shots. Tonight I was glad to not be the only girl, as some of their girlfriends came to visit them. I usually have a drink or two before this game, to be ready for what it will come, which I did while Ricky was helping me.

The first one to go was Jack Barakat.

“Kellin, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Boring, but let’s see. Is it truth that you use lube to make your hair look greasy?”

Okay, so it was that kind of night. Seth chose dare and had to show us his favourite position, the twist was to show what the girl will do. Chris dared Alex to moan every time he had to say something for the entire game. Then it was Justin’s turn to ask me.

“Lexus, truth or dare?”

“I’ll say truth.”

“Between Andy and Chris, who would you choose to have a one night stand with?”

“Andy, of course. Chris is like my brother.”

After I answered, I saw that my glass was empty. The whisky bottle was closer to Ricky and when I was about to ask him for it, I saw his face. Furious will be an understanding. I took my phone out, planning to send him a message. When I was about to send it I heard him say:

“Continue without me, I’m going to smoke.”

That was odd, he liked this game. I sat there for a couple of minutes when I decided to go after him. Maybe his ex-girlfriend tried to contact him or something. I don’t know what could upset him this much.

He was not next to the bus, where I thought he would be. Looking around I spotted him at the exact same table where we shared our first moment.

“Ricky, are you okay?”

“Just leave me alone, go back inside.”

That was new and weird. I never thought he will ever speak like that to me.

“I won’t. I’ll stay here with you until you say what’s wrong.”

He started laughing. But it was not that kind of laugh when you hear something funny. It was a nervous one when you try not to let out what was inside.

“Let’s just say it’s my fault. I’m stupid and I should’ve not made a scene. It’s that alright for you?”

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Then go with Andy, maybe sleeping with him will make more sense.”

I was shocked. From everything I thought he will say, that was not on the list. The only question my brain could produce at that moment was:

“Are you jealous, Ricky?”

“Let’s just change the subject.”

“No, answer me. Now.”

He looked into my eyes, trying to find something in them. Maybe he was thinking of an answer, expecting to see my reaction in them before he would even say it.

“I like you, Lexus. Maybe I’m close to being in love with you, who knows? All I know for sure is that neither of us are ready for a relationship now.”

“Ricky… you are not the only one to feel this way.”

“It’s not a good idea and you know it. We will break each other’s heart.”

The silence took over our thoughts. What in reality were a couple of minutes of neither of us saying anything, felt like hours. Then I heard a small laugh escaping from his mouth.

“You know what stupid idea I had earlier? Maybe we can’t have a relationship, but we can have some fun together. I know what you’ll say, but…”

“Yes.” I interrupted him.

His eyes widened. I’m sure he thought I was joking and trying to make fun of him. But if that is the only way to get closer to him and to show him that we can be happily together, then so be it.

“Are you sure? I hope you know that means no strings attached, or love, or anything like that.”

“I know and I’m sure.”

He gave me one more look, making sure I was saying the truth. In the next second, I felt his lips on mine. He was kissing me like there was no tomorrow and I responded in the exact same way. We were both waiting for this for too long. We had to pull apart for a bit, to catch our breath. That’s when Ricky found the perfect timing for his next question.

“My bus is free. Do you want to go there for more… privacy?”

I didn’t expect it will happen that fast so all I did was to nod. He took my hand and lead the way.

“Look, if you do not feel comfortable now, we don’t have to do anything tonight. But we need to be careful, to keep this a secret.”

“I understand.”

A lot has happened in the past hour, so my answers were short and to the point. While we were walking to his bus, hand in hand, I was asking myself if this was actually a dream. On one hand it was a beautiful one, but on the other hand, not so great with having to keep it a secret and to “just have fun”.

Ricky opened the door for me, making sure there was no one around. After he got in, he decided to not waste anymore time. He pushed me to the wall and started to kiss me with such a passion that I’ve never experienced before. His hands wondered on my body carefully, knowing he didn’t have permission to do anything yet.

It felt so wrong but so right at the same time. He moved his lips to my neck and that’s when I realized how much I wanted him. I put my right hand on his cheek, guiding him to look me in the eyes.

“Stop teasing me, Ricky. I want you, now.”

“Are you sure?”

I pushed him on the couch to answer his question. When I took of my shirt he smirked and took my hand to pull me over him. He took care of my bra and I got his shirt off. Not having much control was not his style so he laid me down and he got on top of me. In a matter of seconds, we were both completely naked. While he was kissing down my neck, he pushed to fingers inside me.

“Now I can see how much you want this.”

It was at a slow pace, wanting me to beg for more. And that’s exactly what I did.

“Fuck me, Ricky. I can’t wait any longer.”

A moan escaped from my mouth when I felt him inside of me. This time he moved fast, making sure to hit the right spot every time. I tried to not make any noise but it was impossible, the pleasure took control over my body.

“Nobody can hear us. Scream my name as loud as you can.”

[tibby]

hello dearest tubular tibby. this is a big question but when do you think glee went wrong? like, what was the point of no return? and what would glee have been like if it was written by you? i would pay a lot of money to see glee: a tibby production and i dont have a lot of money. Sending you lots of love!

a year ago, i probably would have told you that it went downhill after season one, but revisiting season two has made me a lot of fonder of it than i was ten years ago. i still prefer s1, but i do think s2 - for the most part - does manage to keep the campy charm of season one, while balancing it out nicely with more serious topics. most of the musical numbers are good (rocky horror is one of their best, if not THE best theme episode they did), it has some of the standout episodes of the show (the substitute, furt, the sue sylvester shuffle, silly love songs, blame it on the alcohol, sexy), the cast were solid all around, and ryan murphy’s favouritism towards lea and darren had yet to impact the show too much. i think some plots weren’t handled as well as they should have (as a quinn stan, i have a lot of feelings about how all of her storylines could have been written so much better, but the lucy stuff would have been such a good way to delve more into her insecurities/body issues/obsession with perfection - instead, it was just a weird fatphobic mess), but i think stuff like santana’s sexuality and burt’s heart attack were pretty decent for glee. like, yeah, burt’s near death is intercut with finn singing losing my religion over a sandwich, but the weird mix of heart and humour is what made glee work, and you can’t expect more from a show that often covered hot topics with all the subtlety of a hand grenade.

and i’m an unapologetic riverdale stan, i love that show because it’s ridiculous and dramatic and over the top and illogical. because riverdale is self aware about that. and glee, for all its many flaws, was pretty self aware about that too in the beginning.

the problem started when the show got too caught up in its own fame.

season three continued to bring us ridiculous plots mixed in with serious ways, but it was no longer a perfect balancing act. it no longer felt as if it was fun but also touching, it just felt....messy. i’m not sure if i could pinpoint the exact moment it fell apart, because s3 was just a disaster that i erased from my memory as much as i could...but, i don’t know, maybe on my way? shoving regionals, karofsky’s suicide attempt (intercut with blaine singing cough syrup), finn and rachel’s near wedding, and quinn getting hit by a truck into 42 minutes was just...Bad. and it’s the kind of thing glee s1 might have just managed to pull off, but in s3, it just meant all the plots fell flat and lacked the emotional punch they could have otherwise delivered. no longer did glee have that spark that made us willing to overlook stupid plots and contrived relationships. it suddenly just became an overly complicated disaster that tried to shove as many social issues as it could into every episode to get people talking. also, if you didn’t care much for blaine/klaine and rachel, then every episode started to feel like a marathon. characters who had been there since the start were pushed aside, and boring/tacky/underdeveloped characters like sugar, the irish guy, and the christian guy were shoved in.

but i STILL think glee would be looked back on fondly had s3 been it. it absolutely was beginning to fall apart, and a lot of us fell out of love around this time, but their final few episodes made us love it again. paradise by the dashboard light is hands down the best new directions performance, and their overall nationals performance gave everyone a chance to shine. plots were wrapped up, the glee club won, and we were treated to an adorable montage set to tongue tied by grouplove. everyone was happy, they had their futures ahead of them, and people were teary eyed at the thought of saying goodbye to our kids. curtain call, fade to black, play them out. a ridiculous teen drama that existed in the only years were it really could have to make the kind of impact it made and get away with the stuff they did. nothing else like it, let us cherish the memories we made.

but then it continued. and nearly every new character felt like cheap replacements of the original cast, and plots were handled with less care than ever before but things were more serious, they ran out of songs to cover, there were constant and needless guest stars...it was no longer a show about a group of underdogs triumphing over adversity by singing avril lavigne songs. it was a shoddily stuck together mess of recycled storylines, unhealthy relationships, increasingly bad song choices, and matthew morrison’s greasy hair. glee, put simply, was no longer fun. and it didn’t have enough heart to redeem the lack of entertainment. we stopped tuning in, and those who kept up only did because of characters they had fallen in love with during season one. it had become exhausting, and we decided to cut our losses from one of our first big show betrayals and leave.

(sidebar: i do think that the quarterback might be the best episode of the entire show, but i think it’s an outlier and really...can’t be counted with the rest. it exists solely because of a real life tragedy, and real life emotions were going to make it entire something else entirely. it can’t really be included in the chart of “good glee” and “bad glee,” because it wasn’t about the show. it was about cory, and i don’t think it should be included in my overall opinion of when the show jumped the shark.)

i’ve tried watching some of the “better” episodes of the later seasons to see how i felt, but that charm was long gone. no matter which characters they brought back, or what plots took place, there was just no more enjoyment in glee. the spark that made season one shine despite everything had completely gone out. it had dimmed a bit over season two and three, but could still shine through sometimes. not anymore.

all that said, i don’t think i could ever write a show like glee, let alone glee itself. glee was not a show that could have been made before 2009, and it isn’t a show that could be made now. RIB’s insanity and jackassery might have brought about the show’s eventual downfall, but it’s also what made it work at the start. too much of a good thing - or rather, just enough of a bad thing. glee influenced riverdale and riverdale influences me (SPRINGFIELD, coming soon!) but that show was one of a kind. if i were in charge, but the general tone and vibes of the show got to remain the same, i guess my biggest thing would be less of blaine and rachel and brittany and kurt, more of quinn and mercedes and tina and santana. both as characters and their various dynamics. but that’s also just my personal character/ship preferences at work, as opposed to anything constructive. glee: a tibby production, would just be a lot of quinn character study (because she will always be my number one) in which her family, body image, religious guilt, relationship to motherhood both as a mother and child, sexuality, view of sex, etc were all properly explored.

but that’s a whole other thing.

[macbeth-s]

an education in british dining

so @ladystvrk​ explained american restaurants to me and i couldn’t resist talking about eating in britain/just my favourite places to eat. our food is bad we take what we can lets all raise a pint for bland meals in miserable weather america is quaking k ya’ll wish you had what we have

firstly, the classic british pub.

100% a sterotype. has that classic old looking british exterior and always named something weird and funny that most of the time makes fun of a king/queen. only plays rugby/football on the telly and is frequented by regulars that are mostly just balding british guys who call you love. best known for good classic hearty british pub food, though alot of them have gone full on gastro pub and try to be hipster to appeal to the younguns. a lot of them do deals for Sunday lunch and its always delicious 8/10 recommend for a good cliche experience.

going more commerical, we have wetherspoons

can be found pretty much in every town/city and they make buck commercialising the classic british pub experience. best known for their club deals on different days if the week eg. curry thursday, chicken wednesday. they do good greasy breakfasts and the food is always cheap and nasty its a god send and they have an app you order your food from and it’ll come like five minutes after its amazing and quite worrying. also best place to go drinking before a night out, get a cheap cocktail pitcher from spoons then throw it up in the club. 6/10 Iconic but we support local businesses

(you also get other commercial franchise pubs that send out coupons and two for ones in the mail and they do a two for one menu and have refillable soft drinks they’re pretty popular for families etc.)

next up: greggs

theres not much i can say to slag off greggs since i get my lunch here everyday and the people who work at my local ones are angels who actually know my order i love this stupid place but its a pastry store best known for its cheap £1 sausage rolls. like everything is super cheap in greggs, a pizza is £2 and a bakes are £1.50. food is generally cold though cause i think they’re was a tax once on serving hot food but if your lucky and go at the right time you’ll get it right out of the oven. they charge you extra for heating it up else and also charge slightly extra if you sit in instead of take out which doesn’t make any sense but only losers eat in a greggs 9/10 for feeding me while at work

speaking of lunches: the tesco meal deal

so classic grocery store tesco has a £3 pound lunch deal where you can buy a meal, snack and drink for only three pounds and its the only good thing britain has ever created. recommended get a baguette or a salad/pasta salad, an energy drink or smoothie and a jumbo pack of crisps or normally +£1 pound choc bar cause getting the cheap sandwiches is a waste and if im spending 3 pounds im getting my moneys worth. 9/10 for affordablility.

back to dinner: curry houses

the british love curry. we do. like we invaded and oppressed an entire country for it, if that aint love. curry houses are the best. like they give so much and have so many options and i always feel so bad cause i dont eat poppadoms properly and always order the same thing (tikka masala which is a curry invented in scotland and its creamy sauce basically just for white people) 10/10 i love curry we dont deserve it

fish and chip shops

is their anything more quintessentially english than eating soggy fish and chips on a windy day on a crowded pier and dying cause its raining and windy? best known for wet soggy greasy chips, battered fish, warm barely cooked pies and the savaloy (a sausage). classic truly but 5/10 cause i dont even like fish so…..

enjoy your british induced food poisoning

[tcswritings]

Birthday.

The evening of February 6th, 2020. It’s Daryl’s 27th birthday and when Patti picks him up from his work place and hands him a little something before they are going to head off for dinner with their friends, the two can’t avoid to reconsider their feelings for each other.

***

(...)

“Pat?”

Daryl frowned as he recognised the familiar young woman standing in the light of the street lamp, expectantly looking at him with one of her most adorable smiles.

To say that he was surprised to see her here was an understatement.

It was definitely a nice surprise, though. Patti looked simply radiant (she even would if she wasn’t waiting in the literal spotlight) and Daryl needed a moment to recollect himself before he eventually put on his jacket and walked over to where his friend was waiting for him.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” he called as he walked towards her.

“Well, I thought it would be nice if I picked you up from work. I mean, since it’s your birthday and all.” Patti smiled and she gave him a hug once he was close enough. When they broke apart, Daryl looked at her and frowned.

“By public transport?”

“What?”

“You came all the way here by public transport, knowing that I have a car and could get home all by myself?” Daryl laughed. “Gosh, you’re cute.”

“Who said I came here by public transport?”

“Yeah, uh, well, what other option do you have?”

“Some shady, greasy, criminal-looking guy offered me a ride in his fucked up car earlier, how could I let that opportunity pass?” Patti answered nonchalantly.

Daryl was so used to her occasional deadpan remarks by now that he didn’t even bat an eye at this newest creation of hers.

“Ah, fair enough. Was it fun?”

“Of course! Girls love a good car ride with a sweaty, stinky picture book criminal. Too bad he was on the run and couldn’t stay.”

“Aw, don’t worry. If it’s meant to be, you’ll meet him again.”

Patti chuckled as she watched Daryl fumbling for his car keys in the pocket of his jeans. When he found them, he nodded towards the parking space.

“Shall we then?” he suggested. “The others should be at the pub soon-”

“Wait!” Patti held him back. “Well, the actual reason I came here to pick you up is that I got you a little something.”

“What? You got me something? As in...”

“As in ‘a gift’, silly! And I’d prefer if you opened mine before we go and see the others. They’re always so weird about these things, y’know.”

“Pat, what- why?”

“Aw, like it’s big news that people who have birthdays get gifts? Come over here, c’mon!” Patti grabbed Daryl by the sleeve of his jacket and pulled him over to the little wall that isolated the parking space from the university ground.

“I know?” Daryl uttered as he got dragged along. “I just didn’t expect anything, I’m not really a gift guy. Honestly, you shouldn’t have!”

“Too late.” Patti laughed. As they reached the wall, she hopped on it and Daryl did the same, taking up the space right next to her. “Besides, it’s really just a small thing, don’t get all too excited.”

She opened her bag and pulled out a flat package wrapped in shiny black paper, with a black ribbon and a grey paper tag on top of it. Daryl took a closer look at the tag - it said “Happy Birthday” in fancy black letters and he could tell it was lettered by hand. For a moment he deeply admired Patti’s craftmanship. He didn’t even know what was inside the package yet but he already loved the outside enough to feel really touched.

“I didn’t get you anything back then?” he merely said, never taking his eyes off the pretty gift.

“My birthday was half a year ago and we didn’t talk as much then as we do now, right? Just open it, it’s fine, I felt like it.” she encouraged him, scooting a little closer.

“Alright, here we go.” Daryl said with a chuckle and gently took the package out of her hands. He started picking at a piece of tape and as Patti watched him nervously as he carefully pried the wrapping paper open. Once he was done, she swiftly snatched the paper out of his hands so he could properly study his gift.

“Wow, what?”

Daryl briefly looked up at his friend, his lips parted in surprise, before he looked back down at the old and slightly tattered book in his hands. He looked at the cover for a few moments before he opened it and studied the first page carefully, eventually letting out a perplexed little laugh.

“You mentioned it a while ago.” Patti said, breaking the silence. “That it’s one of your favourites, and that you lost your copy recently.”

“It’s the first edition, and it’s signed! Pat, that’s incredible!”

“Yeah, I found it online last week, while I was browsing this website that buys and sells used books, and I remembered - I mean - it’s nothing, really-”

“It’s not nothing. It’s one of the coolest things someone ever gave me.” Daryl breathed out and Patti couldn’t remember a single time when she had seen him having such a genuine and honest reaction of joy.

“I’m afraid it has some stains, though.” Patti grimaced.

“Oh, mine looked worse, actually.” he laughed as he skimmed through the book’s pages. “I accidentally drowned it in my bathtub once and it was still wet in parts when I tried to press it back into it’s old shape so some of the edges just stuck together… and it was really just a big mess.”

“Wow, that poor book.”

“What can I say, I’m a klutz.”

“Looks like it.” she smiled.

Daryl smiled back and a moment later, without thinking too much about it, he leaned in for a kiss and Patti didn’t seem surprised at all, as she kissed him back without hesitation, as if it as the most natural thing for them to do.

The kiss wasn’t a long one, but it was very sweet and gentle and it felt very, very right.

“Thank you.” Daryl said once they parted, his face still close to hers. “I really love this, it’s great!”

“I’m glad.” Patti smiled against his lips, giving him one last peck before she pulled herself back. “To be honest, I was a little nervous.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, I just felt a little silly all of a sudden. I was pretty excited when I found the book last week, because I instantly thought of you and… I guess that just threw me off guard a bit?” She paused. “And when I came here earlier I was really close to freaking out, I thought you might find it… well, weird. It was too late to back out, though, you had already seen me.”

“Why would I find it weird? It’s a thoughtful present!”

“That’s exactly my point!” Patti sighed. “I usually don’t care as much, I either just buy people chocolate or give them money. I’m not very creative when it comes to making gifts. And now I came all the way here, with a personal gift... I thought you might, well... read something into the situation.”

Daryl let out a faint laugh and once again looked at the book in his hands, stroking along it’s spine with his thumb and biting his lip.

“I don't.” he eventually said and looked back up at her. “I mean, not if you don’t want to. By the way, I, uhm, didn’t mean to-” he pointed at his upper lip with his finger, “- I mean, I did but it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“Just like New Year didn’t mean anything?” Patti asked.

Daryl merely shrugged.

“So you… don’t want it to mean anything. Neither New Year nor... today.” She fixated him with curious eyes.

“That’s not what I said!” 

It was Patti’s turn to be surprised now.

“Come again?!” she breathed out.

“No! I want it to- I mean, I don’t know. Pat, I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know... what exactly?” Patti pried, keen on making sure that she really understood what Daryl was trying to imply.

“I don’t know.” he sighed. “Things went right back to normal after New Year and I had everything in order, I mean, at least that’s what I thought, and now you show up here, looking like you do, and you give me this and, uhm, I’m not so sure anymore if I really have it all in order.”

“Uhm, what are you even trying to say?”

“Ah, I don’t know. Really, just forget it.”

“Daryl.” Patti playfully rolled her eyes and Daryl realised that she wouldn’t let him get away with some lame explanation or none explanation at all.

He figured that he could as well as just say it and so he took a deep breath.

“You, uh, may have turned my head a little.”

“A little?!” Patti blurted out. “You’re stammering like an insecure school boy!”

“Wow, as if I don’t feel stupid enough already.” Daryl playfully nudged her arm with his.

“Sorry, couldn’t help it.” Patti laughed but then she apparently remembered what this moment was about. “Wow. So.”

“So.”

“I mean, the book and my showing-up-here already kinda gave it away... that I feel the same about you and... I mean, I’m not asking anything of you here but maybe we should-” she stopped as she saw the expression on Daryl’s face. He looked... uncomfortable? Agonised? She couldn’t figure it out but it sure made her heart a little heavy. “What? What is it?”

“I don’t know how to say this.”

“Oh man.” A bitter smile flashed over Patti’s face. “Alright. You don’t need to say it, okay? You don’t want a relationship. I mean, that’s cool? Even though I’m not even asking you to have one right away... I just thought that we could at least talk about what to do about all this.”

“No, I wanna say something?”

“That you’re not good enough, that I deserve better and that you don’t want to-”

“Pat, please. Just listen?” Daryl begged.

Patti pressed her lips into a thin line and gave him a quick nod. “Okay, I’ll listen.”

“Great. Okay, so, I don’t know how much you know from Orla already. About what happened when she dumped Mick all those years ago.”

“I don’t know a whole lot about it, only that it was, well, difficult for a while.”

“Oh wow, did she say that?” Daryl scoffed. “Well, she’s either suffering from fuckin’ memory loss or she took the art of sugarcoating to an entirely new level here.”

“What do you mean?” Patti brushed a lost strand of hair behind her ear as she listened curiously to what Daryl had to say.

“It was an outright war between those two. It was horrible and it was exhausting, for all of us.”

“Yeeeaaah, but... that’s what happens sometimes, when a couple splits. Both parties get bitter and cranky. And... I mean, Orla and Mick patched things up, right?”

“Yeah, they did, but you don’t know what it took them... what it took all of us to even remotely get there.”

“Okay, but why is this even relevant? We’re not Orla and Mick. I mean, sure it was hard for them? They took that giant leap of faith and did the friends to lovers thing and that alone takes a lot of courage! ... I mean, it’s normal that they couldn’t go back to being friends just like that but they made it!”

Patti’s voice had a vehement tone now; she was obviously trying to make a point, to prove that Daryl was worried for no greater reason. “Besides, they were, like, what? Twenty? They were practically kids, and... I mean, they’re still Orla and Mick, after all.”

Daryl smiled as he shifted a bit on the spot. He then cleared his throat. “What if they hadn’t made it, though? They would have lost each other for good, maybe. I don’t know if they would’ve gotten over that.”

“... eventually, maybe? I dunno, it’s pointless to even think about that, knowing that things went well for them.”

“I dunno, maybe, but I can’t help it.”

“Gosh, Daryl.” Patti let out a laugh. “If everyone thought about possible bad outcomes right away, before even trying a thing, no one ever would try anything. Ever. What a horrible thought, really.”

“Pat, I’m not saying that I don’t like the thought of being with you, alright?”

“Alright, okay. What are you saying, then?”

“I really, really enjoyed these last months with you.”

“Well, so did I!” Patti agreed.

“No, honestly. I can’t recall spending so much time with anyone else but Ryan and he’s my former best friend from school.”

“Yeah, I know Ryan and that he was your best friend.” Patti sounded impatient now and Daryl could almost hear the hissed little “What are you even getting at?” in his head.

“I know you know him, my point is that it was kind of a given to spend so much time together. We saw each other pretty much any other day until graduation. And I love hanging out with Declan, Mick and Orla and the others at any time, too, but it’s a little different with you.”

“How’s it different with me?”

“I’ve known the others for ages, I don’t wanna miss them again and I know I won’t have to. Then you appeared and you could have just tagged along occasionally, as ‘that one friend of Orla’ or something, but I decided to make room for you, just because I like you that much and I don’t do that too often. Not because of some dumb loner reason but simply because it’s fucking hard to keep up with even only a handful of friends once you get older.”

Obviously feeling relieved about not being plain rejected, Patti couldn’t help but let out a genuine laugh now. “Oh god, I know! All of a sudden we’re grown ups and have so much stuff to do. Honestly, I’m just tired most of the time!”

“Yeah, so am I! Hell, I’m tired now but when you’re around I usually at least forget about it.”

“Wow.” Patti breathed out, now overwhelmed by the meaning of Daryl’s words.

“Yeah. I mean, I was sceptic at first-”

“Huh. Like I don’t remember.”

“Yeah, but then you turned out to be one of the coolest people I ever met and... man, I don’t wanna miss you again, Pat. I like you. I really do. You’re funny and smart and... and bold... and I’d hate to see this blow apart just because I can’t keep my fuckin’ pants on.”

“You phrased that really beautifully, McKenna.”

“Honestly, you don’t know what it takes me to keep them on right now.”

“Well, I’m not telling you to keep them on?” Patti snickered.

“Okay, I will so remember you said that.” Daryl laughed. “No, Pat... guess all I’m trying to say is ... I dunno. Can we perhaps... just roll with it somehow? Not push it, not give it a name just yet? I dunno, I just wanna make sure that this is not just some weird flash in the pan, alright?”

“Wow, you really talk a lot when you’re nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.” Daryl frowned.

“God, you’re so nervous."

(... to be continued!)

[nalufever]

You and Me

What sort of trouble can some walking and a bit of camping get one dragon slayer and one celestial mage into? Truth be told - lots. Adventure can be fighting bandits, solving a mystery, or simply admitting your feelings. Natsu and Lucy are in for the adventure of their lives. My entry for the 2019 @nalu-week , all prompts in one story. Fluffy but rated teen for some light cursing.

Natsu gave Lucy one of his patented looks of misery and she sighed, defeated. Instantly. All it took was a woebegone expression; the one where he emulated a freshly kicked puppy. Dammit. He knew exactly how to push her buttons.

She threw her hands in the air, exclaiming, “Fine! You win! No train, no cart - just you and me on the road!”

“Yosh!” Natsu’s green hue disappeared. “I told Happy you’d cave.”

Happy flew a lazy loop-the-loop over Lucy’s head. “Lushi always caves!”

A wicked smile on her lips, Lucy stood with her hands on her hips. “Speaking of Happy…”

“He’ll love camping out and -” Natsu stopped talking, Lucy was wagging a finger in front of his nose.

“No, just you and me, and you already agreed. A dragon slayer never goes back on his word.”

“You’re being weird about this.” Natsu pointed to the massive pile of luggage at Lucy’s feet. “You’re telling me you’re gonna haul around all that without an extra pair of hands?” He smirked. “You shoulda resisted that dumb Heart Kreuz sale.”

“Blasphemy!” Erza conjured a dozen swords and then reconsidered. Natsu had slandered her absolute favourite brand in all Fiore. Heart Kreuz. Eighty-eight more swords popped into existence, glinting in the noon sun, showing off razor sharp edges. “You take that back!”

“Easy, Erza!” Lucy spoke softly to the swordswoman but did nothing else to restrain her. “Natsu doesn’t understand great fashion.”

“Yeah, he’s an idiot.” Gray scoffed, not even trying a little to hide his look of derision. “Case in point, what’s he wearing? His ever-present scarf, a vest, off-white pants, and a stupid grin.”

“Better clothes than you,” Natsu shot back, “and way more, you naked popsicle princess. And I’m wearing sandals.”

“Goddammit.” Gray sighed and grumbled, “My train ticket is in my pants pocket!”

“I’ll make sure your luggage makes it back to Magnolia, Lucy.” Erza clapped one hand on Gray’s shoulder, making him tremble. “Find your clothes, fast. The train leaves soon.”

“Yes’m!” Gray sprinted away.

“Excellent! Everything is settled.” Erza vanished her swords back into her requip space. “See you two later.”

Lucy dug into her pile of belongings and pulled out her overnight bag, took a few things out of some of her other luggage and repacked quickly.

Lucy smiled and gave Natsu a thumbs up. “I’m ready, let’s get on the road.”

><><><><><

Lucy lost her easy grin somewhere between the third and fourth time she had to fish out a pebble from her sandals. It wasn’t only that - Natsu was dreaming out loud about what he wanted to eat and now her stomach was rumbling. Even so, all in all, Lucy had it good. Natsu was carrying both bedrolls and the majority of the camping equipment.

“If we hurry, we’ll reach Iris Village before sundown.” Lucy interrupted Natsu’s listing of delicious foods. “And while sleeping in the great outdoors is super fun, it looks like it might rain.” The clouds overhead darkened further and thunder rumbled. A lone raindrop struck Lucy’s nose; the wind picked up, the temperature dropped and more rain pelted the mages. “Greaaaaaat.”

“Yeah, I love a good storm.” Natsu lifted his face to the sky and sighed. “I’d trade every train ride in the world for this.”

Lucy glowered. “I wouldn’t.”

“It’s not just not having motion sickness, Luce.” Natsu turned to give his partner a single-fanged grin. “I like being alone with you too.”

A wild thumping inside her chest made Lucy self-conscious. How could Natsu say something so sweet? Gah! How should she respond? Thanks? That would be dumb. Oh, he wasn’t paying attention to her anymore. The moment was gone.

Natsu ran ahead a bit and then stopped in the middle of the road and sniffed the air. He turned to the left and to the right, searching for something. “C'mon Luce! There’s meat grilling up ahead - and it’s greasy. Exactly how you like it!”

Lucy scowled. “Hey! I do not!”

Natsu jogged back and grabbed her hand. “Don’t worry about being a weirdo. I like you the way you are.”

Caught between the urge to wail ‘I am not a weirdo’ and blush because Natsu had said he liked her, Lucy allowed him to tow her down the path. They ran, whooping in the rain.

Natsu’s nose led them to a hut made of rough-hewn logs with a thatched roof. On both sides of the front door grew a collection of unique flowers - with no two alike in shape or hue and a few that seemed stunted compared to most which were easily as tall as Natsu. Even stranger, there was a woman wearing a voluminous and heavy cloak tended a blazing grill. “Can I help you dears?”

“Do you have any extra meat?” Natsu ignored Lucy’s unsubtle elbow to the gut and continued talking. “It smells so good!”

“I’m Lucy and this,-” she pointed at Natsu, “-is Natsu. His manners are better when he’s not hungry.”

The woman smiled as she flipped the sizzling skewers of meat. “It does smell incredible, doesn’t it?”

“We can pay, if that’s what you’re worried about, we don’t expect you to suffer a loss.” Lucy rubbed her stomach; the aromas were even more delicious than before.

“Oh goodness me! I couldn’t charge…money.”

“Yosh!” Natsu threw an arm around Lucy’s shoulders. “It’s your lucky day.”

“All I require is assistance with an important task.”

Natsu and Lucy exchanged perplexed looks. “Huh?”

“Let me feed you and explain.” The woman smiled, piling a large platter with everything she’d cooked. “I have a bit of prescience and it told me I should grill meat to bring heroes - though I had no idea you’d be such a cute couple! From the amount of food I felt compelled to buy, I was thinking it would be a whole crew of ravenous young men!”

“Natsu’s got a real appetite,” Lucy said, her eyes just daring Natsu to contradict her or add anything.

Happily clueless, Natsu nodded. “And Lucy could out-eat two crews of guys when it comes to greasy meat!”

“Come, sit.” The woman removed her heavy cloak revealing a long purple dress. “Since we’re dining together, I should give my name and learn a little something of yourselves.”

“I’m a dragon slayer and Lucy is a celestial mage!” Natsu threw his arm around Lucy. “She’s the best partner I’ve ever had.”

“I’m the only partner you’ve ever had!”

“Nuh uh! You’re forgetting Happy!”

“I wish I could.” Lucy rolled her eyes. “He’s more of a pest than a partner.”

“I know you’re joking, Luce! You’re just crabby when you’re hungry.”

“That’s so sweet. You two can call me Lavender.” Oblivious to the bickering, she focussed on banking the fire.

“Allow me!” Natsu sucked in the flames, his gut bulging until he turned his head and belched. “Delicious!”

Lucy grinned weakly at Lavender. “Trust me, that was mild.”

“Okay…” Lavender smiled and shrugged. “Follow me, let’s get comfortable on my patio. I’ll explain exactly why I need help for some poor lost souls.”

Natsu and Lucy settled themselves on the patio at a table already set for a dozen people. The flowered tablecloth fluttered at the table edges in the evening breeze as the rain increased. An awning protected them from getting wet - to a degree.

Lavender set the platter down, excusing herself to fetch drinks; upon returning she was amazed to see the giant pile of bones where once had only been grilled meat. “You do have a big appetite.”

Natsu covered his mouth and burped. “And my manners actually improve after eating.” He grinned, leaning forward on his elbow and gave his partner a wink. “Lucy’s a good influence.”

“I don’t know about that.” Lucy rubbed her forehead. “But I’m very curious about this important task.”

“I have the gift of foresight as I mentioned already.” Lavender wrung her hands. “But there are times when I don’t understand what my visions show me until it’s too late.” She sighed, sadness chasing away the tiny smile she’d worn. “This is not my home but another’s; a handsome young man with a dark spirit. He enchanted people into flowers for his own purpose. Why? I do not know.”

“I have a celestial key who’s good with information.” Lucy slipped her hand into her collection of keys and fished out Crux.

“Can’t it wait until I’m done eating?” Natsu complained.

“If you weren’t such a big eater, you’d be done.”

“But this is delicious!”

“My dear, can this key bring knowledge to break their curse?” Lavender wiped away tears with the back of her hand. “I don’t even know if they are still human. I don’t know anything else beyond the last words Ranulf Mershim screamed as he ran away. I defeated him, but can’t do anything about those he harmed and it brings me great sadness.”

“Oh?” Natsu wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Gildarts told me about a guy he knew a long time ago, his name was Ranulf too - but he musta been old. Lavender, you said a young man?”

“Handsome and young.”

Natsu shrugged and turned to beam at Lucy. “It’s a good thing you’re a celestial mage. Crux is real good at finding out anything and everything.”

“No time like the present!” Lucy held Crux’s key high and summoned her helpful spirit. “Open! Gate of the Southern Cross!”

Crux appeared in a big display of sparkles and bowed to his mistress. “How may I assist?”

“We need some information about a curse that has turned some people into flowers.”

“Let me check.” Crux became motionless, appearing to be sleeping, blowing bubbles from his nose.

“While we wait, we should finish eating.” Natsu placed another portion of greasy meat on Lucy’s plate. “You need your strength!”

Lavender sniffed back fresh tears. “You two are so adorable!”

Crux’s eyes suddenly opened and his whole body trembled. “The Flower curse is a powerful curse indeed!”

“But are my friends okay?” Lavender’s gaze swung wildly from Crux to Lucy. “I’ve been taking care of them…” She bit her lip and sniffed back tears. “As best I can…”

Lucy patted Lavender’s hands. “Crux, what can you tell us? Can we free them?”

“They live.” Crux sighed, looking as sorrowful as his weird face allowed. “But to break the curse requires sacrifice.”

Natsu frowned. “Fairy Tail guild members don’t kill.”

“What kind of sacrifice?” Lucy glared at Natsu and then smiled at her spirit. “How exactly were they cursed? That’s always part of the cure.”

“My sources say they failed a trial; tricked with words and an empty promise.” Crux opened his book and flipped pages until it showed a bent, wizened figure carrying a tiny mirror. Natsu, Lucy, and Lavender peered at the picture. “Find the mirror and the magician to release his victims.”

“Uh, you said this Ranulf Mershim was young and handsome, yeah?” Natsu scratched his head and pointed to the illustration. “This guy’s wicked old.”

“Mmmm.” Lucy closed her eyes in concentration. “Curses are always made to steal from people and the caster benefits.” She opened her eyes wide and clutched at Natsu. “You said Gildarts knew a man named Ranulf, but it was a long time ago. What if the curse is to steal vitality and youth from the victims?”

“Okay, so we know who we’re looking for and what he wants to steal.” Natsu pounded his fist into his palm. “But where are we going to find him so I can kick his ass?!”

Lavender took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I didn’t want to admit this, but I have no other choice.”

Lucy, Natsu, and even Crux stared at Lavender in confusion.

“When Ranulf came to Iris village we struck up a friendship that was close in nature to what you two have. Despite our age difference.” She pointed at Natsu and Lucy, smiling weakly. “Or so I thought. He gained my trust, betrayed me and those people planted at the front door of this house.”

“Then you must have an idea of where he would have gone.” Lucy dismissed Crux and put her keys away. “We’ll take on this challenge and do our best to break the curse.”

“You still wish to help?” Lavender somehow looked hopeful and resigned. “Ranulf and I always talked of running away together to the mountains of Avens. I had thought it a joke…” She buried her head in her hands and sobbed.

“That’s not even that far!” Lucy jumped out of her seat. “In the morning, we’ll get an early start.”

><><><><><

After feeding her heroes a hearty breakfast Lavender gave Lucy a packed lunch. She left and returned leading a sturdy packhorse harnessed to a cart. “Fred can ease your journey.”

“No thanks!” Natsu shuddered and rubbed his stomach. “I don’t travel so good on vehicles.”

“It’s true, he gets the worst motion sickness - which is why we were walking back home after our last mission.” Lucy moved next to Natsu and stroked one of his clammy cheeks. “I’d rather we walk than you get sick, you know that.”

“Adorable,” gushed Lavender, “Now what about magic brooms? Can you use those?”

“Do you expect us to sweep our way to Mountain Avens?” Natsu stopped rolling his eyes once Lucy’s elbow made sharp contact with his gut.

“Dear me, no!” Lavender clapped her hands. “These fly!”

“Um, that’s not so good either.” Lucy turned and picked up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. “Every mode of transportation gives my partner motion sickness.”

“That’s awfully inconvenient.” Lavender wrung her hands. “How do you manage?”

“Compromise.” Natsu shrugged into his backpack and grinned. “We use the train when there’s no other option and with no time constraints, we walk.”

“You mean if I feel sorry for you we walk.” Lucy huffed. “It’ll be faster to not argue and get going.”

“I’m not arguing!”

“If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and swims like a duck - it’s a duck!” Lucy responded with ire.

“I don’t know what you’re getting at, but let’s get going.”

Lavender waved at the bickering couple and murmured to herself, “They’re so perfect for each other.”

><><><><><

Natsu and Lucy were high up Mountain Avens by late afternoon. A merchant going the same way had chanced upon them and insisted a dream had told him to give them a ride. With poor grace Natsu had agreed - so in the span of a few hours, they covered the distance that would have otherwise taken a full day.

“You gotta admit, the view sure is something amazing from up here.” Natsu waved grandly after his fulsome praise. “Almost as pretty as you, Luce.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Natsu!?” Lucy pretended mock outrage, going so far as to shake her head and glare at her partner. “Are you getting heat stroke?”

“Nope, don’t be a dope. I’m a fire dragon!” Natsu took hold of one of Lucy’s hands and pulled her close. “And sometimes you forget that, and like all dragons, I work hard to protect my treasure.”

“You get weirder every day.” Lucy scoffed. “We’re here to break a curse and save some poor souls who’ve turned into flowers!”

Suddenly as serious as she’d ever seen him, Natsu gave Lucy a contemplative look. “Treasure is in the eye of the beholder.”

“Such a beautiful notion.”

Lucy whirled around in surprise. She’d thought they were alone - but the male voice interrupting their conversation was loud even if they couldn’t see him.

“More like happiness is a chance you take because you want your own person to treasure. And when the woman of your dreams turns you down, you have to leave town because she can’t stand the sight of you.”

“Who’s there?!” Lucy peered into the dense foliage lining the path up the mountain. “Show yourself!”

“He’s ten meters up ahead and he’s been trying to circle around for the last twenty minutes,” Natsu told Lucy with a casual shrug. “We could’ve stopped but I thought you could use the exercise.”

“Remind me to yell at you later.” Lucy struck Natsu in the chest with one stiffened finger as a warning. “And we’ll be taking the train the rest of the way home just for that comment!”

“Excuse me?” A handsome young man, undoubtedly Ranulf Mershim, stepped out from behind a tree. He smiled and swirled his cape in a bid for attention. “I couldn’t help but overhear your whole conversation, because I was listening on purpose.”

“Tch. Even I know that’s rude.” Natsu crossed his arms and gave Ranulf a challenging look. “It’s best not to admit that sort of thing.”

“Are you trying to befriend this guy right now? Save that for later.” Lucy tapped her foot. “We’re here to save the people you enchanted into flowers.”

“I gathered that.” Ranulf lazily waved his hands in a shooing gesture. “But I’m not about to let you break my mirror. If I live long enough, I’m sure to find another woman I can let my guard down with.”

“Oh, we don’t need your permission.” Natsu cracked his knuckles and moved his body into a relaxed about-to-fight posture. “Me'an'Luce can solve any problem together.”

“That’s oddly sweet, Natsu.” Lucy smiled and approached Ranulf. “We can solve any problem together.”

“Whatcha doin’?”

“We’ll use my brain and your brawn. First, we talk to Ranulf and try to sort this out peaceably - and if that fails, you get to kick his ass.”

“Oh?” Ranulf arched one perfect eyebrow and gave his two opponents a haughty stare. “I’m not going to break the mirror because you ask nicely.”

Lucy shook her head. “Nope, of course not. But I did more research last night and dug up some interesting facts about the Flower Curse.”

Ranulf boasted, “So? I’ve been stealing youth and vitality for decades.”

“And I listened.” Lucy’s smile softened into pity. “You’ve been extending your life to find love. And you’d found her, at Iris village. Lavender. She’s the one, isn’t she?”

“She refused to join me.” Ranulf looked close to tears. His lips thinned, pursed tight and he sighed before speaking again. “I left because I couldn’t bear to add her to the others.”

“You’re not that bad of a bad guy, are you?” Natsu turned to Lucy with a grin. “Tell me you can help him.”

“I can!” Lucy grinned at Natsu. “But he’s going to have to compromise.”

“Compromise? And what do I gain?”

Lucy opened her mouth to answer, but Natsu beat her to the punch. “Uh, we don’t kick your ass for one, and for two, have you not been listening to Lucy? She’s figured out how to help you. Don’t you want to reunite with Lavender?”

“Natsu, I appreciate your support, but Ranulf has to agree on his own.” Lucy touched Natsu’s upper arm and he calmed. “He’s got to really want to be with Lavender.”

“I do, but she refused to join me.” Ranulf pouted. “Together we could have harvested more people and remained young forever.”

“Do you want to keep running?” Lucy shook her head. “She won’t join you, but you could join her if you give up the mirror.”

“What do you mean?” Ranulf frowned but it was more contemplative than angry, and his expression softened with thoughts of the woman he’d left behind. “She's…she’s too far out of my reach.”

“But you love her beyond reason, don’t you?” Natsu addressed his words to Ranulf but the smile on his face was for Lucy. “You’d do anything to keep her happy - so you ran from her and didn’t harvest her friends. Even though your enchantments could have cursed her too.”

“You’re right. Tell me, Lucy, how can I join with my lady love?” Ranulf reached beneath his cloak and withdrew an ornate mirror, and offered it to the celestial mage.

“Keep it.” Lucy flourished Sagittarius’ key and donned the archer’s star dress. From the quiver on her back, she produced a special arrow, notching it to her bow. “I cannot tell you more, but to break the spell, you must be willing to risk all.”

Ranulf gazed into the mirror. He traced the image of his face with one finger and sighed. “I’d rather be dead than alone. What use youth without love?” Now resolute, he squared his shoulders and held the magic mirror over his heart. “I’m ready.”

Lucy pulled the bowstring taut, aiming for the center of the mirror. The arrow glowed and she released. It shimmered as it flew through the air, shattering its target and Ranulf flew backward, collapsing in a heap.

Natsu went running to Ranulf but Lucy shook her head and held him back. “It shouldn’t take long, we’ve got to wait.”

Ghostly glowing forms released from Ranulf’s body. They danced around his still form, joined by more and more spirits until it resembled a writhing cloud. Soon the activity slowed and then it calmed completely, dissipating in a burst of sparkles.

“What a way to lay bare his heart.” Natsu gazed at Lucy, his expression inscrutable. “Did you want me to remind you now or later to yell at me for the exercise comment?”

Lucy gasped instead of answering Natsu. Ranulf was standing, but he seemed to have shrunk. His dark, thick hair had thinned, receding from his forehead - as if in fear, and he’d gained a few decades in the blink of an eye. While the wrinkles didn’t detract from his otherwise still good looks, he was obviously older.

“I’m like how I was before I took up the cursing mirror.” Ranulf examined the backs of his age-spotted hands. “Thank you! Thank you! Thanks to you both!” He smiled and it lit up his blue eyes. “I have to go back to Iris village and talk to Lavender!”

“Start with an apology,” Natsu advised. “End with one too.”

“Go to her and have that talk.” Lucy returned to her normal clothes. “Good luck.”

Natsu and Lucy waved good-bye as Ranulf began to jog down the mountain path, picking up speed and beginning to whistle merrily.

“He wasn’t that bad of a guy. He’s lucky 'cause I coulda kicked his ass so hard!”

Lucy laughed and leaned against Natsu when she ran out of breath. “You never change, do you?”

“Why would I change when I’ve got everything I could ever want, Luce?” Natsu looked around the idyllic mountain path they stood on, the birds singing sweetly - the wind rustling the tree leaves - and back to Lucy’s smile. “It’s you and me. Together.”

Lucy blinked. Natsu was looking at her in a way that made her stomach flutter and knees feel weak. She stood still, uncertain but loathe to break the mood.

“Is it what you want?” Natsu tilted his head a little to the side and nervously bit the corner of his mouth. “Do you feel the same way?”

“You and me…” Lucy nodded, a soft blush colouring her cheeks. “I like the sound of that.”

“Together?”

Lucy licked her lips and Natsu’s eyes were drawn to the motion. Slowly and inexorably Natsu lowered his mouth to Lucy and kissed her. He kissed her with tenderness and restraint. Lucy moaned and clutched Natsu’s shirt; wordlessly begging for more - and Natsu delivered.

Together was a mighty fine way to express 'you and me.’

[artificialqueens]

Notebooks and Post-it's - Chapter 12 - (Branjie) - Thankyoumissvanjie

A/N I know… I’ve started a new fic and kind of forgotten all about this one. But here ya go. A new and angsty chapter - completely on brand for this fic. Enjoy my dears. <3

Summary:

“…”

The silence on the phone was very telling, but not what he needed now, sitting in his hotel room in the middle of the night.

“Bitch, you best be givin’ me some life hacks ‘bout now, cause I be freaking the fuck out,” A’keria looked at him unimpressed, as she was getting into drag. The facetime call one she had waited for, knowing that Silk had led their girl down a path of self-destruction.

LINK TO AO3

“…”

The silence on the phone was very telling, but not what he needed now, sitting in his hotel room in the middle of the night.

“Bitch, you best be givin’ me some life hacks ‘bout now, cause I be freaking the fuck out,” A’keria looked at him unimpressed, as she was getting into drag. The facetime call one she had waited for, knowing that Silk had led their girl down a path of self-destruction.

José held his phone tightly in his hand, hoping that if he wished it hard enough, he could teleport A’keria here. He needed her. He needed her wisdom and most of all he just needed her hugs.

“Vanj… you’re an idiot,” the sigh at the end spoke of motherly levels of disappointment and José felt his shoulders sag as it hit him how stupid he had been.

“Kiki, I know. But I be like the Titanic after the iceberg hit, I know it ha-happened, but now imma need you to help me be Rose on the float and not Jack!” José was still drunk, stumbling over the words, trying to find a way to explain it to her, so she understood.

“You need to sober up boo, your metaphors are messy,” she lowered her hand that was applying eyeliner to send her a raised eyebrow.

“Hoe, my whole life be messy. Like Mama, imma need more than just Cilit Bang to clean this shit up.” falling back onto the bed with the phone in his hand, he wished that there was some way to just unmess it all. To go back to the truce he and Brock had managed to keep during the broadcasting of the season.

“Lemme just get this straight. Y'all been fucking around for weeks, and then you went and gone all Branjie, like you back on the show.”

“Boo-“ José could feel the oncoming storm of a full-on A’keria takedown, and he wanted to end it before she really got going, but he was too late.

“I ain’t finished, and then your hoe ass decided to play the jealousy game and then it made him weird and now you ran away in the middle of the night cause you drunk and all up in your feelings… AND the tour hasn’t even begun yet? Chiiiiile.” She looked directly through the screen for a second or two, trying to communicate all the way from Chicago how dumb this all was.

“I know.” Even through his drunken haze, José could see that.

“Do ya? Cause I think you’ve out-Vanjied yourself. Like bitch?”

“But what I supposed to do when he all sad face and hot and… there,”

He missed him. So fucking much.

“Nothing. You do nothing,”

“I… can’t,” It felt impossible. Brock was his favourite drug, and he wasn’t ready to let go yet.

“Nah, you just won’t,” trust A’keria to see right through him and voice the real truth.

“Why you gotta read me this hard, Kiki?” Her words seemed to hit him hard, but at the same time it was refreshing, he knew that Silk would have joked and told him to go get that good dick.

“If you wanted to be patted on the back you would’ve called silk, boo!” For a second they both looked at each other before laughing hard, “so what’s your plan? You gon’ talk to him?” She patted some powder onto her face, almost done.

Her mug looking correct, as usual.

“I mean…” José couldn’t look at her face, knowing that he was stalling.

“Vanj. You an adult, you need to have a good damn convo with yo man,”

“Bitch, he ain’t my man!”

I wish he was though. Fuck, I wish.

“You sure ‘bout that?” That all telling, all willing Kiki eyebrow was back, daring José to talk back, “Vanjie, babe. You love him, it would break your heart if he found someone new. So go get yo man,” She smiled softly.

“He don’t love me,” José knew he sounded like a child. His voice low and quiet.

Just saying the words made his heart crack a bit.

“Bitch, how you know that?”

“We’ve only been together ‘cause of me. I inist-instig… I was the one setting it all up every time, while he always be looking like he want me to leave, but ain’t sayin’ it.” Brock always looked like he was confused as to why he had shown up, the post-it in hand as he walked into one of the many hotel rooms they had fucked in.

That was why José kept distracting him, kept on throwing himself at Brock, hoping that his body would make him remember how good they had been.

Last night had felt like a turn for the better, the soft touches and tender sex had made him feel hopeful.

Until Brock wouldn’t look him in the eye.

It had made José feel like a dirty secret, and that was why he had fled the room, his skin crawling and his heart heavy.

“Vanj…”

“I know I’ve played myself, and that I best let go of him, so I can stay on that floating door on the sea and blow in that whistle to get picked up from the icy ass water by someone,” Maybe Brock was his Jack.

Maybe he was just meant to let him the fuck go?

“Boo, we both know Rose could have moved a bit and there would’ve been room for Jack on that door. You best figure out a better haiku, cause this one ain’t working, Mama,”

“Bitich

“Hoe,”

“Grandma,”

“Child,”

“Love you, Kiki!”

“Love you too, Boo. Gotta go, but bitch. Talk with you man, Jesus!”

He ain’t my man.

“Chris Hemsworth thinks I’m a woman, I am so naturally-” Brock woke with a start as his phone rang loudly, answering the phone before he was even sure where the hell he was.

Why the hell was Nina calling him?

“Nina. Shit… I just woke up-what?”

“Could you open the door? I’ve been knocking for ages” She sounded slightly annoyed, but hearing her voice after a week apart was like a balm to his soul.

“What? You’re here?” Brock almost fell out of the bed, quickly grabbing some sweatpants. Seeing the mess of the room made the event of last night flash through his head.

Well. Fuck.

“Uh-uh and I got us breakfast, so open the door, Brock,” A knock on the door underlined her request, as she hung up, Brock quickly walked over to the door, his head throbbing from the drinks, the tears and everything else that happened in the last 24 hours.

Opening the door he came face to face with the sunny appearance of one of his best friends, her face clear despite the long flight she had just arrived from. In her hand, she was holding two cups of coffee and a paper bag that smelled like some kind of greasy pastry.

It almost made Brock weep with joy. The prospect of coffee was almost too good to be true.

Nina walked past him into the room, not verbally commenting on the strew clothes and covers, but just sending him a pointed look that spoke volumes. Dropping the food on a table she turned around and looked Brock up down, pausing on the bruises on his chest and the hickeys littered all over his neck.

“Well you’ve certainly looked better,” The soft look in Nina’s eyes making something inside of Brock crack, his need for comfort suddenly overwhelming.

“And hello to you, Nina,” Brock’s voice croaked as he walked towards her to get one of those perfect bear hugs that only she could give.

“Ew, Jesus. You smell like death, sex and liquor.” But she only hugged him tighter, maybe she could feel him shaking a bit, or just knew that he needed human contact that was not conditioned on it being sexual or temporary.

Tears sprang to his eyes. The events of the last few weeks finally catching up to him. A sob was caught somewhere in his throat, but Nina heard it.

Hugging him harder.

Softly shushing him, but never pushing.

Just being there.

They stood like that for minutes.

Nina’s hand softly running up and down his back, waiting until Brock leaned back, breaking the hug, as he wiped underneath his eyes.

She could see him trying to get back the iciness of Brooke Lynn, but failing at that he sent her a small smile and went with distraction instead.

“How about that coffee, huh?” He walked over to the table and took a long sip of coffee, feeling himself become less of a disaster and more human with every second.

“B… you need to figure shit out.” The sigh From

“You bought croissants, you babe!” Brock didn’t even have to fake his enthusiasm, as he felt almost weak with hunger, plus the idea of a flaky piece of french pastry seemed like the best idea right about now.

“You guys need to have an honest conversation.” He could hear that Nina had found her way to the couch, sitting down as she got ready to give him a Real Talk™

“Honestly, thank you. I haven’t had anything to eat since lunch yesterday, so really. Thanks!” He tried one last attempt at misdirection, hoping that Nina would take pity on his hungover body.

“Brock. Come on,” He turned around and walked over to the couch, with the paper bag and coffee.

“What is this, Nina? An intervention brunch? Have you given me croissants of lies?” He tried to keep a straight face, but seeing those big eyes filled with a mixture of mirth and worry, made him chuckle softly.

“Did it work?” She bumped her shoulder into Brocks, smiling softly, “Honestly, you are wasting away. You’ve lost weight, you look like you aren’t sleeping and Jesus, Brock. The alcohol?”

“I know,” He couldn’t look her in the eye. Knowing that he had promised her to take it down a notch.

Knowing that he had done no such thing.

“Okay. That’s the first step, but the question is, are you going to do anything about it? It hurts my heart to see you like this.” A hand covered his own.

Softly squeezing it.

“I just… I’m not ready for him to leave me.” His voice was small, his throat tightening as the thought of putting an end to this made his body clench in actual pain.

“He might not,”

“Oh, he will. Last night I thought we might have moved forward, it felt different. But then he left during the night, and I get it. I wouldn’t want my anxiety-riddled-entitled-bony ass either. But I want him…” He trailed off, not sure if he wanted to say it out loud, but knowing that he needed to at least voice his feelings to one other person “I… I fucking love him.” The pain in his body grew as he felt a lump grow in his throat.

He was not going to cry again.

“I know.” Nina’s thumb softly massaged the back of his hand, trying to convey some form of comfort. “But you’re being too hard on yourself. I know you think he spins gold with his ranting words and light up every single room he walks backwards into. Sure, It’s Miss Vanjie, it’s José, But Brock, you are not worth nothing. No, look at me!”

Brock finally looked up, seeing nothing but love and understanding in Nina’s eyes.

“You are passionate and loving and our current fucking reigning. If he doesn’t want to get with you, well good riddance,” There was a fire in her eyes, and Brock felt so lucky to have her in his life.

But.

“But I-” How could he make Nina understand that he was so scared of that exact possibility. That the idea of José not wanting him back was too painful, too real and too probably.

“No buts. Seriously. Talk. To. Him!”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll think about it.”

Last time they had been in an elevator together they had almost ended up just having sex in there.

This time was different.

This time it was awkward.

It was complete happenstance, that they had both ended up on this exact ride. Both of them seemed to almost vibrate with nervous energy as the numbers on the display slowly decreased.

“Righ-”

“So-”

“Oh, you go-

“No, you”

They both turned to look at each other, softly chuckling.

Both trying to make the other start talking, none of them wanting to be the first one to say the words. Brock felt nauseous as if he was going to throw up any second, the nervous energy inside the tiny metal cage travelling downwards doing nothing to calm his anxiety.

“So. The others be arriving today,” José almost spat out the sentence, needing there to be some kind of talking.

“Yeah, I am reall-”

“Let’s end this, Mami.”

Brock’s heart burst into a thousand pieces.

“I… If that’s what you want?” He felt completely removed from his body, as he heard himself answer calmly and softly.

As if his heart hadn’t stopped working.

His eyes were burning, but he blinked hard.

Forcing himself to be calm.

He could cry later. Now was not the time.

“I just don’t need this to screw with the gig ya know?” José seemed completely unaware of the destruction he had just wrecked on Brock. Smiling softly at him, as he gave his explanation.

“No, Yeah. I… I get it. It’s fine,” He hoped that his acting skills were more convincing here than they had been on the show.

If this was what José wanted, then Brock just had to endure and accept it.

Even if it killed ihim

With a ding, the elevator doors opened and José was the first one to step out, seemingly in a hurry.

“Imma see you there, hoe!” He called after him, not looking back as almost ran out into the lobby.

Brock was frozen in the elevator. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t think.

The doors closed before he managed to make his body respond to him.

I knew he would leave.

I knew it.

[canadian-buckbeaver]

First Date Disaster - UF!Sans x Reader

MTT’s book in the trash where it belongs, you and Sans are about to head out on your first date.  However, even before it begins, it seems like the universe is very much against you and him dating.  Nothing goes right....

But sometimes, that is where the most fun can be found.

A commission for @mavi-mav who asked for a continuation of Sans unlucky wooing!  Hopefully you all enjoy!

Sans hummed excitedly as he threw in the laundry into the machine.  No, he wasn’t excited about doing laundry in the campus’ community laundry bay, that would be weird and something that his brother would be excited about.  Something about “FINALLY TAKING CARE OF THE FUCKING, NASTY, SOCK.”  

There were a few things wrong with that following statement.

One – the sock was in its rightful place.  The floor of the living room.  Right where everyone could see it and marvel at the artistic curves of the fabric.

Two – the sock was clean, not gross or nasty.  Well, as clean as clean could be for sitting on the floor for a few months.

Three – well, three was the reason why he was excited.  Again, not for laundry day.

No, today was the day. Today was The Day.

Starting the machine, Sans looked around the small, empty room.  For once there were no other students in the area.  The possibilities.  He could possibly go upstairs and have a quick nap, leaving his clothes where they are to finish washing, but Papyrus would just bitch about leaving the laundry unattended.  Like someone would steal a load of once white t-shirts.  There were free chairs by the lost laundry notices that looked comfortable. So instead of his preferred nap, he settled himself on one of the nearby chairs next to a newer looking sign advertising a lost red hiking sock.  As broke-ass college students, everything was preciously expensive, especially wool socks.  Oh well, he decided, sucks to be that person and others who had lost things.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, grinning as he realized he had a message from you.  He eyed your snapchat as it came through, eye lights sparkling with mischief.  You were just about to finish a shift at the restaurant you were working at and you had snapped a picture of some sort of dessert that you had decorated yourself with what to be his face on it.  You had even used a small chunk of pineapple to resemble his golden fang.  The overall look was rather sweet and charming he had to admit.  Chuckling, he snapped a quick photo of himself and captioned it, “Which looks better to eat though, Doll?” he could already imagine your face blushing as you read the message.  Putting the phone away, he leaned back in the chair, pulling his dark jacket into a more comfortable position, sighing softly.

He was excited but surprisingly relaxed today.  None of the anxiety that he had been battling the days prior had made an appearance – not that he was complaining.  Perhaps it was because he had already taken care of almost everything?  He had already secured reservations for tonight at the new restaurant in town that you had mentioned that you might want to try (after making sure that they were monster friendly).  The table wouldn’t be ready for you guys until about an hour after the movie, giving you plenty of time to take a romantic stroll through town or grab a coffee from your favourite coffee shop, whichever you preferred. He hadn’t been able to purchase the tickets ahead of time, but it would be more fun to secure the seats there at the theatre together he supposed.  For now, all he had to do is wait for the laundry to be finished, and then move it into the dryer.

The small ping of the washing machine woke him up.  Yawning and stretching, Sans felt all the bones in his body pop.  Ok, those chairs were not meant for napping.  They weren’t that comfortable.  Shuffling over to the machines, he reached into the washer and pulled out his t-shirts.

Only to find that his t-shirts had changed colours during the load.

Gone were the white t-shirts, gone were the grease marks and mustard stains.  Instead, they were replaced with clean, fresh smelling pink t-shirts.  Blinking rapidly, Sans looked through each piece of clothing.  Yes, this was his load.  These were his t-shirts…. But why were they…

He pulled a red sock out of one of the arms of the t-shirts.

Cursing, he placed the offending sock in the middle of the folding table and threw the rest of his wash into the drying machine.  His jacket would cover most of the pink, he would just need to keep it closed.  And it looks like that he was going shopping afterwards.

* * * * *

Sans teleported just outside the restaurant that you worked at, pulling the fur of his jacket up to hide the smallest hint of pink.  Papyrus was working on the rest of the shirts now, putting them through another wash cycle with a small dash of baking soda.  He made a new rule of checking all machines for lost and found items before using.

Still, Sans sighed softly, leaning against the building.  Soon he would see you and all would be well.  You and him had been planning this date for weeks now, there was always something that seemed to get in the way.  Between school and the work schedules for the both of you, it was hard enough to sneak in a study session in the library.  And now, there was nothing in your way.

“Hey,” your voice startled Sans, causing him to jump away from the wall.  He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face when he saw you.

“Hey sweetheart,” he said,  taking your change of clothes from you, “did you have a good shift?”

You sighed and rolled your eyes.  “Give me a moment to answer,” you told him before you walked over to the nearby recycling bin.  Digging deep into your pockets you tossed more than a couple shiny pamphlets, and what looked to be a couple of business cards into the bin.  “Ok.  Now I’m ready to go.  Does this theatre serve alcohol?”  You sounded irritated.

Sans offered you his arm, still looking at the bin in confusion.  “I mean, there is an option for that…” he said.  “Or do you want to skip the movie and just go to the bar instead?”

Slinging your arm through his, you sighed but shook your head.  “No, no… theatre first. Just… just a rough day.”

“Tell me about it,” Sans said, drawing you closer to him as he walked you down the sidewalk.  Pink shirts could be ignored for now.  Your day was more important than his.

Shaking your head, you smiled at him, resting your head against his shoulder as the two of you walked together.  “Just same shit, different day,” you told him.  “First, a couple businessmen came through and think that leaving me their business card with their phone number is a good replacement for a tip.”

Sans snorted at that, easily pushing the small tinge of jealousy that he felt.  It was rather obvious that you weren’t interested in them. “Of course…  Those who can afford to buy an expensive meal for themselves or for their friends or clients and do not have enough to tip you can clearly spoil you rotten should you guys date.”

Success.  You giggled, gazing up at him with those wonderful green eyes of yours.  “Oh yes. Clearly he has all the money in the world to show me all that fifty dollars and twenty-five cents can get me.”

Wrapping his arm around you tighter, Sans gave you a tight side hug.  “I hear that is a fantastic view of his driveway.”  He smiled as you laughed at it.  Good.  There was the you that he knew and…

Well.  Fill in the blank later.

“But you said that those guys were first.  What else happened?” Sans asked you.

You rolled your eyes. “Father Simon was in today.  The shimmering grey BMW? Crisp, name-brand clothing on himself, wife and three kids?  Heck, he even has a Rolex that he hides under his suit.  Anyways, he and some of his followers came in today after the sermon.  Between the twelve of them, they easily ordered a couple hundred dollars worth of food and drink.  Came in preaching the good word, God and His Son shall save us and that we are loved.  I enjoyed that part,” you said, looking at Sans.  “It’s just when every single one of them refuses to leave a tip and instead only leaves a stupid pamphlet on how both my coworkers and I could be saved… well.  You see where I am coming from.” Sighing, you scratched under your eye.  “Because obviously I don’t need money for food or rent.  Apparently, long-term salvation can take care of all my needs immediately.”

Sans opened the theatre’s door, letting you slide in first.  “I’m sorry you had a rough day, babes.  Hopefully, I can help make it better.”

Looking back at him, you shot him one of the most beautiful smiles he had ever seen. “Believe me when I say that it is already better.”

Oh, you knew just how to make his soul flutter.  Pink shirts were forgotten now. You were all that mattered in his eyes.  Gently squeezing your hand, he led you to the ticket counter. “Remember, it is my treat.” He said.

“You really don’t have to Sans.  I don’t mind splitting the costs.” You smiled at him.  He loved that, loved when your eyes met his… sent a tingle down his spine.

The acne-ridden, greasy haired teenager looked positively terrified of them.  His eyes flickered between Sans and you, and then to the door, like he wanted to escape.  “Am I that terrifying tonight?” Sans asked, turning towards him.

“Oh you always look intimidating,” you teased him, squeezing his hand, “but I’m more worried that he is one of those who distrusts monsters…”

The teenager gulped slightly as you guys came up to the counter.  He looked pale, like he was about to pass out.  “I… I… I should warn you…. that… that today’s paper was wrong…. The show times were for yesterday…. And weren’t updated… the… the current times are on the board now….” he shakily pointed to the board behind him, showing the times of the movies.

Sans looked up at the board and groaned.  The times and movies had been changed in a very noticeable way.  “Looks like we missed the last showing of the movie, sweetheart.”

Your face crumpled in disappointment.  “Really? God damn it….” Sans hated that look on your face.  He wanted to help but was unsure how.  You guys could always try and come back another night for the movie, but who knew how long that would be.  The teenager was still watching them, grease shining in the low light.  The poor guy had probably already been screamed at more than a few times tonight for something that wasn’t his fault.  “Well how about we see the other one we were thinking about?  It starts in ten minutes.”

With a nod, Sans agreed.  “We could always see it when it comes out on Netflix or whenever one of our neighbours buys it.”  There, problem solved.  Quick and painless.

The ticket master relaxed notably as he punched in your new order.  “That would be ten dollars, please.” he squeaked.

Nodding, Sans dug his hand into his pocket before freezing.  He could positively feel his bones freezing in horror.  Really?  After everything that had already happened to the both of you, this had to happen? You looked at him, confused for a moment before his horrified face started to make sense. You giggled softly, pulling out your own wallet.  “Dutch it is.” You said, pulling out a bill and handing it to the worker.

Sans felt so ashamed at that moment.  He knew exactly what had happened.  By the door, right beside the key bowl, his wallet sat.  Just so he wouldn’t forget to grab it when he grabbed his keys.  

Looks like he would need to teleport home and grab that after the movie.  After all, you couldn’t do Dutch on your first date! That just wasn’t right!

* * * * *

You and Red left the movie quietly, following the other patrons out.  You guys were quiet, lost in your own little world, thinking about the movie.  Red was slowly moving his head, trying to crack the vertebrae without scaring you. His previous nap in the laundry room was beginning to come back to haunt him as the movie seats had been less than overly comfortable.

“Well,” Red finally offered, feeling his neck give slightly, “that was… interesting?  They had an… unusual plot to it.  Really kept you guessing throughout the entire film.”

Bursting out into laughter, you gently whacked his arm.  “Oh, come on. You can be honest with me.  That movie was terrible!  The trailers totally showed it to be some next generation science-fiction, the new era of the combining power of the human and technology.  Not some desperate cash grab with a few A grade actors!”  

Sans chuckled, relieved that you were of the same opinion as him.  He wasn’t the best or most confident liar around.  “Well now that you mention it, they had more green screens than a weather station.”

Laughing, you smiled up at him.  “I’m glad to be here,” you said simply.

Sans couldn’t help the wince that came to his skull at your words.  So far nothing was going right for the both of you.  It was the wrong movie and it had been awful, and you had ended up paying thanks to him.  “Hey now.  Save those words until I take you out to eat,” he said, smiling quickly at you.  You were going to say something else, perhaps argue with him, when he nodded towards the poor admissions worker.  He was surrounded by a horde of angry patrons, probably looking for their money back. “Want to try and get your money back on a refund?” he asked.

You shook your head. “Poor guy is busy enough. Besides, his manager would probably give us free tickets at best, or at worst tell us that we sat through the entire movie.  Already past some ‘money-back guarantee’ period.”  As much as he wanted to disagree and try to get your money back, the skeleton had to admit that you had a point.  The two of you would spend ages in line for next nothing. Sans watched as an older, bored looking gentleman finally came down to the area.  Presumably the manager at last.  “Ready to grab something to eat? I’m hungry.  Popcorn didn’t fill me up.”  On cue your stomach growled.

Smiling at you, Sans drew you close to him, preparing to teleport the two of you.  “Ready when you are, sweetheart.  Just let me grab my wallet first.”

* * * * *

The little side-trip took almost an hour to complete.  Of course something as simple as ��grab the wallet and go’ couldn’t be that easy.  Not today of all days.  Papyrus had decided to take advantage of Sans’ absence and do some needed cleaning around the little apartment and had moved his wallet, and then had left to study in the library.  You and Sans had almost torn the apartment into its previous state of disarray until you had found his wallet… in the key bowl.

Sans grit his teeth, angry that it had taken so long and that he hadn’t noticed the wallet before. Nothing was going his way tonight. And stars, you were along for a ride now.  If it had just been him, Sans might have just given up and gone home, napped for a week and then tried again.  But no. Here he was, pulling you out to a shitty movie after your crappy day at work, and now you had to try and help him find his stupid wallet because he decided to leave that at home.

Your stomach growled, reminding Sans that the popcorn that the two of you had had wasn’t exactly the most filling of dinners.  Pulling you close to him, wallet safe in his jacket pocket, he teleported directly to the restaurant.  No time for anything else.

The restaurant was just about to give your table when the two of you guys appeared.  The hostess rolled her eyes and sighed loudly when Sans had approached the stand.  She had begrudgingly looked through her computer for Sans’ reservation (at least that had been done correctly).  When his name appeared on the computer, she had reluctantly led the two of you to an open table.  As she showed them around, Sans took in the restaurant  The restaurant seemed to be decorated in an odd mixture of disco and Hawaiian.  Frankly Sans didn’t know what they were going for, nor was he sure if this is how they advertised themselves.  Perhaps it was the remains of his Fell nature, but Sans couldn’t help himself from looking wildly around, staring at everything.  The waitress noticed his observations and rolled her eyes again. She placed the two of you in a small corner table, right next to the kitchen.

Great… this was not what he meant by secluded… Sans sighed back at the hostess, biting back his comments about her attitude.  He opened his menu, peeking at you.  Already you were pouring over the menu, reading carefully, your lips pressed into a thin line. Seems like you weren’t having the best time… wincing, Sans peered at his menu.

Only to be met with the smallest, most descriptive text that he could imagine.  “Bloody hell,” he said, “I wonder if they wrote our textbooks.”

You let out a tiny giggle.  “Would explain how our textbooks always seemed to give vivid food descriptions. Juicy hearts.  Tasty love…” you snorted, smiling at Sans before returning your attention back to the menu.

Sans let out a relieved sigh.  Well, you were still talking to him and cracking jokes.  That was a good sign.

A waiter, dressed in the odd combination of a Hawaiian shirt and dress pants, approached the table. “My name is Jolly John but you can call me HOOOSIAH,” he yelled out, making the both of you jump, “and I will be your waiter today.  Can I start you off with any drinks?”

The skeleton was tempted to order a bottle of mustard to drink, but, as the rest of the date was going ‘swimmingly’, he decided not to add his drunken ass to the mix. “Water,” he croaked out.

“Make it two, please.  Also, what sort of oils do you use in your cooking?”

John made a note of your drinks on his little notepad.  “I believe we use sunflower oil.  The boss likes how it gives a different taste to the food.  Makes it light, fresher… fills your soul with…”

“Perfect.  Thank you.” you smiled at him causing John to hurry away.  Right, you had that slight sensitivity to soybeans… Sans had almost forgotten about that.  Luckily you knew the right questions to ask.

“Perhaps we should avoid drinking the water at all…” Sans muttered, looking back at the menu. Geeze, what would it take to order a simple hot dog or hamburger around this joint?

Your laughter reached him again, causing the sharp-toothed monster to smile.  “Aw, be gentle Sans.  He just enjoys his job.  Hasn’t had the soul sucked out of him by the general public just yet.”

He couldn’t help the dopy look that crossed his skull.  You really were perfect.

Jolly John returned with your water.  It seems like he had decorated the rims of your glasses with a variety of tropical fruits. It looked like a Hawaiian goddess threw up.  Sans stared at it, wondering how he was supposed to take a drink without disrupting the rest of the glass.  It reminded him of Papyrus’ overzealous attempts at platting food.  You had pushed the food to one side of the rim, allowing you to take a sip of it.  “Are you two ready to order?”

“A couple more minutes,” the two of you said in sync, causing John to scurry away again.  As the two of you poured over your menus, Sans’ decided to make his move.  Slowly, Sans reached across the table to take your hand, gently squeezing it.

It took a breathless moment, but you squeezed back too.  He couldn’t help the little stutter in his soul as you returned to soft pressure. Perhaps everything was going to be ok after all.

A few minutes later, Sans was looking for John again when he noticed that you seemed to be in some distress.  You cleared your throat once, twice and then three times, growing more confused as you couldn’t remove the tickle from within your throat.  Rubbing at your throat, you slowly began to look around. “Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”

Avoiding the obvious pickup line, Sans chose to answer honestly.  “It is a little warm in here, but I think you’re the only flushed one,” he said, growing worried over your heating flesh.

John had come up to the table again.  “Is everything ok here?” he had asked, looking between you and Sans.

“Have these fruits come into contact with soybeans or any by-product?”

John nodded. “My boss soaks the fruits in their water and…”

Shit… you were having an allergic reaction.

Sans reacted immediately.  Getting up, he propelled himself around the table, grabbing hold of your hips and legs, somehow tossing your purse onto your lap, and teleporting into the hospital that was nearest to the campus.

* * * * *

The two of you were sitting on hard, pink chairs, Sans’ arm wrapped around you as you shivered. Upon teleporting the two of you directly into the hospital, your throat had closed up further, making it borderline impossible for you to talk.  You had gasped and wheezed for breath, terrifying the nurses and the doctors that saw you appear. Luckily, Sans was there to answer their questions, explaining all that he possibly could to them as they wheeled you into a nearby room.  Telling them about your sensitivity to soybeans and what you had come into contact with, and warning them that Advil tended to give you stomach ulcers.

You had made it just in time to the hospital as to not require an oxygen mask.  Instead, they had shot you with an Epi-Pen, given you normal water to drink, and now had you under mandatory health watch.  If you went into another allergic attack you would be hooked up to oxygen in a heartbeat and be given more allergy medicine.

But for now, it seems like the worst had passed.

“So…” Sans said, breaking the slightly awkward silence, “worst date, ever?” he asked slightly nervously.  There was pale red sweat dripping down his skull and even the crack in his skull seemed to droop slightly.

Turning your head, you looked at him.  “What do you mean?”  You were still slightly pale, your voice weak, but overall, in good health.

Leaning back against the chair, Sans sighed.  “Well, I forget my wallet, we see a terrible movie, almost miss our table and end up in the hospital at the end of it.  Doesn’t seem exactly what you had in mind for our date.”  He rubbed the side of his face, his eye lights down.  “I seem to have bad luck with anything I touch.  I would totally understand if you never want to see me again…”

You couldn’t help yourself.  Laughter peeled from your mouth, causing him to jump and look over at you with a shocked expression.  Your laughter sounded beautiful as always, like music to his ears.  “Oh, Sans,” you giggled, wiping your tears from your eyes, “thank you.  I needed the laugh.”  He couldn’t respond.  He stared at you, mouth agape.  Smiling, you explained yourself.  “All I wanted to do was spend time with you.  Forget the shitty day at work, forget about school for a bit…” you flushed slightly.  “Honestly, I haven’t seen any negatives with the day.  All it has is made it more memorable for me…

“And I’m sure that you are never going to forget our first date either.” You smiled at him, watching the relief cross over his face.

Sans couldn’t help himself.  Chuckling, he pulled you closer.  “How about we call this the practice date, and, once I get my shit together, I’ll take you out on a real date.  One without the restaurant that chooses to use fruit soaked in soybean water, a movie with real plot, and a wallet with real money in it?”

Giggling, you nodded. “I can agree to that.”  Looking at his sharpened teeth quickly, you seized the front of his jacket, pulling him towards you.  Giving him a short, very sweet kiss.  “Just as long as you agree that that was our first kiss.”

Eye lights hazy and faintly resembling hearts, his cheekbones slightly pink, Sans stared dumbly at you.  “Gosh damnit, here you are in a hospital, and it is my breath being stolen away…”

How he could spin such jokes in a heartbeat, you would never know.  Resting your head on his jacket, you smiled.  “It is a gift….” You explained to him.  Grinning, he wrapped his arm tightly around you again, pulling you against him.

For a few minutes you sat in comfortable silence, listening to the sounds of the emergency department.  Nurses and doctors ran, papers rustling and machines were beeping. This was far better than any movie. “Sans?  Do you mind if I ask you a quick question?”

“Go for it, sweetheart.”

“Why are you wearing a pink shirt?”

[missytearex]

Happy 1D fanworks appreciation day! I thought I would celebrate by sharing my ultimate favourites. So, in no particular order, here we go!

Vanguard by catholicschoolgirl | @catholicschoolgirl --- 40k, Zarry

“But you've been thinking about me,” Harry said. “You've been thinking about me, and now you know that I've been thinking about you. Since before we even met, I've wanted you.”

Zayn smiled wryly, feeling cynical all of a sudden. “And it's that easy?”

Harry nodded. “It should be. People try to make it hard, but I've gotta believe it's that easy. It's everything else about this damn world that's hard.”

This one absolutely destroyed me. It’s set in the 60′s during the Vietnam war. I was completely transported there. Do yourself a favour and have a listen to the fanmix as well. It really adds to the immersion.

there's no fair in farewell by we_are_the_same | @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed --- 218k, Larry

When Harry and Louis, two Cupids who have been bringing people together for decades, are tasked with making Soulmates Liam and Zayn fall in love, it proves to be much harder than expected. But maybe, just maybe, that isn’t such a bad thing after all.

This was the first WIP I’ve let myself read in years, and guys, it paid off! I have such a soft spot for it, as I was reading along while it was being posted. Take note that it is complete now! It’s just such an original story. I laughed, I cried, I yelled in capslock. Go read this right now, if you haven’t yet!

Under All Circumstances by lazy_daze | @dazy-laze --- 38k, OT5

When Liam decides to sign up for an online dating website, his main worry is how scary it is to finally have the chance to go out with a boy; he’s definitely not anticipating having to deal with the website glitch that sets him up on a blind date with not just one boy, but four at the same time.

Somehow, the date goes well – so well that the other four convince Liam that they all need to do it again, and for some crazy reason Liam agrees. Maybe it’s because he really likes these loud, ridiculous, frankly gorgeous boys.

But it’s stupid, isn’t it? No matter how good it feels, how much fun Liam has, and how lucky he feels that all these people want to kiss him – five people can’t all go out at the same time. Five-way relationships don’t happen, there’s no way they can all make this work. He’s sure of it.

I can’t emphasize enough how much I love this fic. It’s OT5 with feels, which is one of my favourite things ever, and there is not nearly enough of it in this world.

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy | @daisyharry --- 149k, Larry

Harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “I wanted to get the most out of this trip so I planned it carefully.” His voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “So far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything I’ve tried to do.”

“Sticky fingers?” Louis repeats, offended. “Are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? Had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the Dotty Diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

“Polk-A-Dot Drive In,” Harry spits before getting out of the car. He slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and Louis rolls his eyes. - A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

Larry roadtrip AU! I can only imagine how much research must have gone into writing something like this. Pair that with a brilliant writing style and amazing characterizations and, holy shit, you’ve got one incredible story!

Little Lion Man by Writcraft | @writsgrimmyblog --- 123k, Tomlinshaw

It’s his final year at Hogwarts, and Louis can’t wait to leave for good. He hates being in Gryffindor and he can’t even enjoy a smoke with the Slytherins now his best mate Zayn’s fucked off to Durmstrang. Louis would be completely miserable if not for WWN and Nick Grimshaw. The same Nick Grimshaw Louis has been listening to for years, ever since Nick’s early days on Potterwatch. As Louis tries to negotiate coming of age, sexuality, first times, homophobia in the wizarding world and his growing feelings for Nick, a new evil emerges which puts Louis and Nick in serious danger. Peace can only last for so long and Louis is about to learn exactly how brave he can be as he finds himself fighting for his life, his friends and everything he’s ever loved.

This author is an absolute legend among the HP community, and I feel so blessed that they gave us this epic coming-of-age freakin novel of a Tomlinshaw fic. Because that’s what it is. A novel. Reading it feels like reading a Harry Potter book, with added smut. Plus, I have such a soft spot for Tomlinshaw. A must read.

Let It Be Lightning by alexenglish | @queerlyalex --- 41k, OT5

Niall Horan made a choice when he enlisted with the Pan Pacific Defense Corps. Leave his family and try to make a difference. He started out as a Jaeger Tech, elbow-deep in the greasy guts of the machines that were supposed to save the world, but here he is, five years later, fresh out of the Ranger Academy with another choice to make:

Assemble a team of Rangers able to pilot two or more Jaegers at any given moment. Interchangeable partnerships, all Drift Compatible with each other. The implications of pulling off this project are astronomical, but at the end of the day, Niall's just worried about how many people are going to end up inside his head.

If you’re looking for a little diversity, look no further! This one features non-binary!harry, trans-male!louis and asexual!liam all in one damn place! And everyone is connected through Niall! I mean, that pushes so many of my buttons, I don’t even know where to start!

you came into my life by disgruntledkittenface | @disgruntledkittenface --- 57k, Larry

They stand around talking for a minute and then Jonathan starts to ramble, “Has there ever been, like, an unrequited gay love story in here? Like a Brokeback Mountain moment where, like, someone just fell in love and they didn’t mean to?”

Louis feels bile rise in his throat as Jonathan’s eyes sparkle, pleading for a yes. He manages to look around and see thoughtful looks on his coworkers’ faces before their heads shake no.

“Not here,” Liam says finally.

When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

I’ve talked about this one before, and to be honest, I probably won’t ever stop talking about it. It’s a story about Louis’ inner struggles and the people that give him the courage to finally come out of the closet. Every which way you turn, there’s a character love and adore. I will definitely be reading this one again some time in the near future.

I Only Come Alive Under the Moonlight by remivel | @remivel --- 54k, Lilo

Louis knew he hadn't seen action in months, but this was just the universe making fun of him, he was sure of it. Because when he woke up in the middle of the night, he discovered that his new dog was missing, and standing in its place was a very confused, very fit... and very naked man.

Or a romantic comedy with a furry twist. Liam turns into a dog at night, Louis tries to help him get back to normal-- and ends up falling in love somewhere along the way.

It’s a rom-com, guys! And I actually laughed out loud. Imagine Louis waking up to find a naked Liam in the kitchen. And Liam having no idea how he got there, or even who he is. It’s so fun to join their weird little bubble for a while. I could’ve easily read another 50k words of this.

Replay, Darling by lazy_daze | @dazy-laze --- 1k, Lilo

Really, really schmoopy Lilo 'Replay' fic for which I blame onedirectionundergod and the fact that there can never been enough 'Replay' schmoop. (Or porn - oh man, please - but this is version: schmoop.) Thank you to checkthemargins for the title help! <3

This one really is sickly-sweet, but that’s just how I like ‘em! I know it’s short, but my love for Lilo and the whole replay thing makes it one of my favourites.

Easy As All That (Go Around A Time Or Two) by sunsetmog --- 84k, Lilo

Sometimes the hardest part of growing up is figuring out who you are in the first place.

Or: The one where Liam and Louis only kiss when they're on nights out, when it's secret, when there's no one around to see them. If no one knows you're having a sexuality crisis, that means it isn't happening, right?

Or, or: Liam accidentally turns Louis' world upside down.

A high school sixth form AU.

Lilo having a sexuality crisis! I don’t know what more you need me to say, really. When I think about Lilo, this is the fic I think about.

Heart Skips A Beat by harriet_vane --- 27k, Zarry

Harry always kisses everyone, until he starts something he can't finish. (A university AU in which no one goes to class. I am noticing a trend.)

Harry’s characterization is the whole reason I love this fic so much. He absolutely has no freakin idea how to deal with his crush and goes about it all wrong. It’s endearing as much as it is face-palm inducing.

I Could Paint You By Numbers, and Color You In by YinAndYangOnIce --- 12k, Ziall

based off this thing i wrote, basically Niall has a secret admirer and everyone is an idiot

I prefer my Ziall to be of the fluffy variety and this one does not disappoint! It makes me smile like an absolute idiot, which is why you should read it. 

Not Happening by scottmcniceass --- 52k, Ziam

Zayn and Liam are roommates. They hate each other. (Most of the time.)

This was the first Ziam I have ever read and boy did it set the bar high. If you’re into enemies to lovers, as I am, drop everything and read this. 

[baby-daddy-bella]

Hey! Can I get a Bowers gang ship? I'm 5'2 and very skinny. I have long hair, it's like a dirty blonde, with red in it. (Weird ik) I have hazel eyes. I'm shy until I get to know someone, or I'm just talking to a random person (there's no in between) I'm always tired. If I didn't have to leave my bed I wouldn't. I love to listen to music and read. I legit suck at all subjects in school but English. I'm kinda insecure. I have 5 over protective brothers. And when I'm not reading I'm watching TV.

      Bowers Gang Ship

Request 3

A/N: HEY ALL, IM SO SORRY ABOUT THE HUGE DELAY ON THESE, BUT THEY TAKE ME A WHILE TO WRITE & I AM THE QUEEN OF PROCRASTINATION. ENJOY THIS ONE! I have been reading some really trash fanfiction atm as a joke (that accidentally turned into a weird, painfully hurtful addiction) and I have actually lost masses of brain cells from the experience. I’m sorry if this shitty because of that lmao. Requests are still open! REQUESTS ARE NO LONGER OPEN

I ship you with…

Patrick Hockstetter 

(I promise they wont all be Patrick and Henry lmao)

> I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…PATRICK LOVES SHORT GIRLS. 

> He loves the potential of a hidden feisty temper (as a short girl, I know that this is true in most cases)

> The combination of you being short, skinny and generally shy means that Patrick views you as weak and incredibly inferior to him (even if this is not true) 

> Due to this, he loves to both physically AND emotionally manipulate you

> Funky, cool hair? You gotta bet it’ll be wrapped around his lanky ass fingers 24/7

> This creepy ass boy LOVES to run his sweaty hands through that shit at any time he can 

> 5 overprotective brothers? Patrick THRIVES in irritating them in any way possible. 

> Whether it is continuously leading you astray, being really creepy & touchy with you around them, or even directly threaten them for practically no reason, he will do it just for kicks. 

> You being insecure is also a huge point of his interest.  

> Let me go off about this real quick 

> Patrick, as we all know, does not properly understand or experience usual human emotion, including the feeling of insecurity, so he often has mixed responses when you are feeling particularly insecure. 

> This greasy boy will either get super touchy-feely and treat you like an ABSOLUTE GODDES….or he will say/do something stupid and make you feel worse

> There is no in between 

> He also uses the insecurity to keep you around, no matter what he does, as he realises that you don’t think you’re good enough for him anyway (bitch u are btw idc if you’re anon & idk who you are)

>  He is initially intrigued by your usual shy nature around the majority of people and the way that you got flustered and nervous when he first tried to speak to you

> You guys often listen to music together and recommend new stuff to each other

> That usually happens when the two of you are laid in bed all day together, one of your favourite things to do together

> AND (get ready for some unnaturally soft Patrick)…

It was only two weeks into the new school year and you already had a huge pile of homework to do. The night was humid, so you had cracked open your bedroom window, put on a large t-shirt and sat down at your large desk to start some of it. 

A light blue cassette player blasted ‘Like A Prayer’ by Madonna through your flimsy headphones, which were carefully balanced in front of your high ponytail. Unbeknownst to you, Patrick Hockstetter slid through your open window and set his dark eyes on your figure. 

You already stared with a look of frustration at the maths equations that had to be completed by the next day. He watched you intensely, finding your struggle quite interesting. He watched, from across the room, as you twisted a pencil between your fingers. 

A sigh left your mouth and you were startled when you took a passing glance in the small mirror on your desk. Realising immediately who the intruder was, you remained calm. 

“How long have you been there?” You asked in a monotone voice, with a hint of a smile. You watched carefully in the mirror, as Patrick strolled towards you confidently, radiating confidence and amusement. 

“Not long.” He simply said. Patrick clumsily grabbed the papers on your desk and dropped them onto the floor, causing some to flutter astray. He climbed onto the wooden surface and sat facing you. Having stayed perfectly still throughout his actions, you simply admired his features. 

He roughly grabbed your chin and brought his lips to yours, engaging in a kiss that immediately became intense. You pulled away quicker than he wanted you to, leaving him slightly irritated. 

“Sorry, Patrick, but I don’t really have time to do anything else right now. I’ve got a mountain of homework and most of it has to be in tomorrow, please don’t be mad.” 

He nodded, leaning and turning his head to look at the sheet of paper that was causing you so much stress. His eyes scanned over it for a moment, as you were warmed by his attempt to help, “Oh it’s alright babe, you probably wont-” Patrick cut you off, “17.3.” he said. You smiled at the effort, but figured, since he rarely even turned up to class never mind paid attention, the answer must be wrong. 

Patrick snatched the pencil from your grasp and turned the paper towards himself. He proceeded to write down a method and answer below the difficult question. Once finished, he slid it back to you. The method was perfect and now the answer made perfect sense. Patrick smirked at your astonishment.  

“How the hell did you even do that?” You asked, with one eyebrow raised. Sure, you knew he was naturally intelligent, but you had no idea that he was blessed with the rare talent of being able to do such complex algebra…without a calculator. 

He chuckled, “Guess I’m just smart, huh?” You smiled in return and he turned the sheet back around to himself and completed the rest of the equations. 

By the time you had started your English essay, Patrick had already finished your maths homework. He slid off the desk and waited for you to move off of the chair for him. Only a moment later, you stood up and allowed him to sit down instead, before getting onto his lap. 

Patrick watched, with his chin on your shoulder, as you completed the rest of your homework, with him contributing answers every-so-often. 

You turned round to him once you had finished and straddled his waist, “Thank you for the help, baby.” You said quietly, placing a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled and twirled a piece of your hair around his finger. Finally, he had gotten what he had come for in the first place – you without any distractions.  

[honeylikewords]

what are your favourite marvel villains and why?

That’s a really interesting question, and thank you for asking!

For me, I’m not that into villains. I don’t actually like the whole “grey-moral ‘is he good is he bad’?” schtick. I mean, sometimes it works, but more often than not, it doesn’t. I don’t need to write a whole essay about why I think villain-woobifying can get really gross and not actually develop a deep character but rather just play at the idea of “median zones of morality”, so instead, I’ll just give the best answer I can.

Marvel movies, on the whole, suffer from really objectively one dimensional or illogical villains. For example, Thanos, the super hyped UltraBaddie, is really just… very bland. His reasoning for universal-level genocide isn’t even that well thought out.

Just googling “marvel villain problem” yields nearly ten million results in just 0.49 seconds! Read some of the articles here, if you want! Marvel really has struggled with trying to dimensionalize characters (whether heroes or villains), and sometimes, the efforts just fall flat.

But, of the roster of villains we do have, here are ones that I liked, presented in two categories: objectively interesting and compelling villains, and just rowdy guys who are fun to watch.

Compelling Villains:

1. Erik Killmonger, Black Panther. There’s a LOT to say about Erik Killmonger. Erik is widely regarded as the first (and possibly only) breakout, deep, and complex villain of the MCU. But he still suffers within the narrative form because, in the end, they just… kill him. It just ends abruptly. But the themes he introduced, the concepts, the practical reality of what a person pushed this far by societal hatred and personal suffering can do? It was amazing to watch. 

Obviously, Erik isn’t a good guy. The story didn’t set him up to be redeemable: the writers were conscious of making him aggressively anti-female and violent in a realistic, frightening way. But they also set him up to be sympathetic. One could see how a man brought low by the world would start to think the way he did. 

Erik broke the mold for Marvel, and while I have a lot of feelings (complex and counterintuitive ones) about his arc, he’s far and away the best the MCU has produced in terms of legitimate, fascinating, deeply human villains.

2. Wilson Fisk, specifically in DD s1. Technically, Wilson Fisk is part of the extended television/Netflix MCU, but he still counts, in my opinion. Fisk was the first time I ever found myself actually rooting for the bad guy and wondering “wait… is he… not evil?”

I cried for Wilson Fisk. I ached for his sadness. I wanted him to be happy and to be with Vanessa. I felt awful that he lost Wesley. I felt for him and it confused and scared me, and that’s awesome work on the part of the writers. I’m a firm believer in doing good and being heroic no matter the cost, so I rarely sympathize with villains, but, wow, Fisk caught me off guard.

Seeing the little boy he was and the trauma he went through, the way he actually was just a boy trying to help, save, and protect his mother and, in his later life, the city that raised him, was heartbreaking. Watching him go through the immense tragedy of his life stirred deep sympathy in me.

He was intimately human and so strangely sweet, so honest, so vulnerable, that it became hard for me to see him as a bad man. I wanted him to change, to turn around, to pull out before it was all too late. And that’s what makes him such a hugely fascinating villain.

Maybe it’s because Vincent D’Onofrio, himself, is autistic, and he intentionally played Fisk as also being on the spectrum. Maybe that rang true to me and I felt that connection and tenderness and love and the overwhelming sensation of a world so vicious that you just want to make it quiet and calm by whatever means necessary. But whatever it was, and however the writers accomplished it, that feeling, that intense emotional level of “please, please don’t, I don’t want to see you go astray like this” stays with me long after that season ended.

(Here is a good article talking about the representation of Fisk and why it can be dicey and unsafe to make villains disabled, but why it worked in this situation and why it matters.)

And, now, RowdyBoy Villains Who Are Pretty Fun But Not All That Deep, Really:

1. Ego, The Living Planet, Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Ugh, what a weirdo! But super funny. Ego’s big fight with Peter is both a combination hilarious, pitiful, weird, and legitimately sad. Ego is such a strange bird and seeing Kurt Russell play this freakazoid was a fun, quirky ride. Ego may have been an ass, but he was at least fun to watch being an ass. Plus, my dad likes his beard. Great job, Ego! I guess?

2. Grandmaster, Thor: Ragnarok. Oh my GOD, I unironically love Grandmaster. Everything about Grandmaster is great. Everything. He’s just such a sore thumb and such a wonderful addition to the MCU. Jeff Goldblum in swishy gold pleather with a melting stick, improvising half his lines and just being like that all the time? God, I love Grandmaster. I’d die for Grandmaster. I want more Grandmaster and I want it NOW. Out of all of these, he’s my actual favorite and someone I actually like. Like, oh my god, he’s just such a perfect character. Praise be to Grandmaster.

3. Loki, Thor: Ragnarok. Sorry, gotta say it, but I hated Loki up until Ragnarok. Every single other iteration of Loki skeeves the hell out of me and is just gross to me. The first time we meet Loki in Avengers, he’s a direct N*zi/F*scist parallel. No way, no how, not a chance am I gonna give that kind of creep a shot. I’m sorry, but no, get away from me. Plus, his enormous fanbase of fangirls cooing over him and woobifying him and making him out to be some sorry angel when he was a greasy genocidal maniac was just revolting.

But then came Ragnarok, and, finally, Marvel got Loki right. Or, well, more aptly, Taika Waititi got Loki right. Thank you, Taika, for redeeming the entire MCU by your damn self.

Loki is a trickster god, not a god of death or violence or war. Loki was, in the original myths, just a tricky person who liked to change their gender/sex, their shape, their dang species, all just to have a romp of a time. Loki wasn’t some N*zi affiliate god of bloodthirst. He was just an asshole who played pranks and got pregnant a lot. You heard me. Read all about it right here. And here. And here, too, for good measure.

So when Ragnarok rolled into theatres and presented us with a funny, human, sympathetic (and likely queer-coded) and genuinely appreciable Loki who just was kind of the epitome of “useless Slytherin; desperate to get their way but shite at getting it sneakily”, I finally learned to like the guy.

I don’t love him, don’t get me wrong, and he’s certainly no one I admire, respect, or am attracted to, but at least now I can stand him. I can appreciate him somewhat. I can see good in him that simply wasn’t present before. 

Plus, he’s just actually funny. Like, Tom Hiddleston has really solid comedic timing and great expressions, and once all that ridiculous melodrama was cast aside from the earlier Thor movies and replaced by an attitude of genuine humor, Loki’s snarky, selfish, stupid-ass side finally got the spotlight and I actually enjoyed watching him do his stuff.

Sorry there aren’t many legit villains on here: again, I tend to despise villains and I don’t see much value in pretending they’re “deep” for being monstrous. Sometimes a bad thing is just bad, and we don’t need to pretend it’s more than that. 

Thank you for asking, and I hope this answers your question, or at least gives you more insight into what I like to consume in my media!

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts starters. ❜

‘  plot twist: you let someone in and they don’t fuck you over  ’ ‘  you would not believe bill nye... if ten million Science Guys  ’ ‘  the lack of cuddling i am experiencing right now is upsetting  ’ ‘  why was shrek’s soundtrack so incredible like who sat down and decided that a movie about an ogre would have a beautiful rufus wainwright ballad followed by a smash mouth/eddie murphy cover of i’m a believer and how can i thank them  ’ ‘  i justify my impulses by the fact i’m going to be dead one day and none of it truly matters in the grant scheme of things it’s that “treat yo self” nihilism  ’ ‘  all i do is listen to music really loudly while i walk in circles and daydream :/  ’ ‘  but you are an entire universe and i am a bigger cooler universe where everyone skateboards  ’ ‘  my insecurities have destroyed so many opportunities   ’ ‘  maybe you and i exist together on a different wavelength than the rest of the world. perhaps, we are on a separate frequency.  ’ ‘  will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking  ’ ‘  ʸᵉᵃʰᶜᵃⁿ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵘʰʰʰʰʰʰ some fuckin physical affection  ’ ‘  stop thinking about everything so much, you’re breaking your own heart.  ’ ‘  concept: me traveling the world alone, figuring myself out, taking tons of cute aesthetic pictures, befriending kind strangers, drinking a cup of tea on a cute cafeteria, and trying out things for the first time.  ’ ‘  holy shit thank god vine is gone like can you imagine all the vines about fidget spinners  ’ ‘  me: reads the bad reviews of a book i didn’t like to seek validation  ’ ‘  if you think you’ve hit rock bottom, just remember that my bank once froze my accounts because I bought a healthy ready meal at my local supermarket and they classed it an “uncharacteristic purchase”  ’ ‘  i’m a dumbass and that’s just how it is  ’ ‘  y'all actually seek validation from people that don’t give a fuck about ur feelings??? LMAO bitch me too why are we like this  ’ ‘  special thanks to all the 10 year olds out there for making all those music lyric videos on youtube  ’ ‘  i am so gentle and kind hearted... and stupid  ’ ‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she i mean me  ’ ‘  just letting everyone who’s ever told me a secret know that its safe with me (and my mom)  ’ ‘  me n my eyebrows…………we been thru a lot  ’ ‘  i wanna jump off a building and not die just relieve stress by slamming onto the sidewalk and then get up and go get a slurpee or something  ’ ‘  all I want is vintage lingerie and good skin  ’ ‘  nsfw: nobody’s safe from wonderwall  ’ ‘  do you ever wish you could unmeet someone…. like,, we had fun times,, but it’s time for me to wipe my memory Sorry Bud  ’ ‘  date a boy who reads. or better yet date a 37 year old recent divorcee with a highly diversified stock portfolio who’s looking to feel young again and can treat you to what you deserve  ’ ‘  if you knew me in 7th grade i’m sorry  ’ ‘  *cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities*  ’ ‘  anyone else feel like they’re inherently worth less than everyone else  ’ ‘  be open with your love and loud with your laughter. life is so much brighter when lived genuinely.  ’ ‘  i really wish i could get a refund for all the love i’ve wasted on people like! repay my emotional labour your bill is in the mail  ’ ‘  i’m such a tease. i’ll tell you how bad I want to fuck you and then probably fall asleep.  ’ ‘  i’m crying my best  ’ ‘  i want to be known as someone who’s full of love and radiates light  ’ ‘  i’m in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”  ’ ‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’ ‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’ ‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’ ‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite, burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney or lucky by britney spears  ’ ‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’ ‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’ ‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death.  ’ ‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’ ‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’ ‘  mATH, deATH -- wake up america  ’ ‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’ ‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’ ‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’ ‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’ ‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’ ‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’ ‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm? that’s how I want to feel always  ’ ‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’ ‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’ ‘  can someone please be proud of me like fuck i’m trying  ’ ‘  concept: a really nice Italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’ ‘  just found out neanderthal passed on the dna for depression and now we know why they stayed in caves and painted horses all fuckin day   ’ ‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’ ‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’ ‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’ ‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’ ‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep  ’ ‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’ ‘  not to vent but: fuck  ’ ‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot  ’ ‘  can’t wait to be balls deep in love  ’ ‘  why are there so many days?? i feel like we just had a whole day yesterday… they don’t stop  ’ ‘  i walked in on my 4 year old nephew sitting alone on his bed eating grapes in the dark and i didn’t even get a chance to say anything before he said “i don’t have answers”  ’ ‘  *adjusts my tinfoil hat* y’all are crazy  ’ ‘  do raccoons have people hands or do we have raccoon hands?  ’ ‘  mark your territory by crying on things  ’ ‘  any size titty is lit  ’ ‘  love lemon trees! i too am bitter but growing  ’ ‘  my only constant is the black hair tie around my wrist. no mans gonna be there for me like this hair tie has. no ones presence is gonna be as reassuring  ’ ‘  me???? tired???? sleepy??? yes constantly  ’ ‘  the box says “four servings” but my heart says one  ’ ‘  the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it….astounding  ’ ‘  i hope everybody is doing their best even tho we’re all doomed  ’ ‘  young adult things: washing your colors with your whites because you don’t care you JUST don’t fucking care  ’ ‘  I just want to help out all the people with no money but i am people with no money  ’ ‘  bricks are just domesticated rocks  ’ ‘  being nice is so easy just do it  ’ ‘  lets start wearing cloaks and swords again. its time  ’ ‘  classes are like a high level dora the explorer episode. person up front asks a question, stares at you blankly for a few seconds, and then answers their own question.  ’ ‘  the average orgasm is 7 seconds. keeping a feral hog in your basement lasts for 5-16 years depending on your ability to care for it. the decision should be clear  ’ ‘  will i ever have my shit together  ’ ‘  i live in a time where a major selling point for food is that it uses “real” ingredients.  ’ ‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and its the only one i have  ’ ‘  it’s not a real party until you sneak away to the bathroom to question your existence as you stare at yourself in the mirror haha  ’ ‘  every hard day you make it through makes you one day closer to stranger things season 2  ’ ‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student i.d. number  ’ ‘  i feel like each year has progressively gotten worse since the year of luigi ended  ’ ‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’ ‘  i wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running. you ever seen darth vader run? hell no. and I ain’t about to either.  ’ ‘  i have nothing to say but will i shut up? No  ’ ‘  i cannot believe another week is like beginning we just finished one  ’

[brandxspandex]

Hey so if you're still doing top 5 things, what are your top 5 favourite humans in IDW?

I assume Garrison Blackrock doesn’t count as a human anymore so…

1. Marissa Faireborn - She’s the Greg Sestero to Thundercracker’s Tommy Wiseau and a take-no-shit badass who has a knack for dealing with these giant mechanical alien idiots who can’t keep their stupid, world-destroying problems to themselves. I can’t wait to see her as Earth’s delegate on the Council of Worlds.

2. Ian Noble - Of the books that got launched for the new IDW Hasbroverse, Action Man was definitely my favourite, which is annoying because it was also the shortest. Short but definitely sweet; it was funny in the dorkiest and most endearing way possible, as was the main character. I love his adorable bromance with Kup and hope there will be more for both of them to do once Revolutionaries ends.

3. Rock ‘n Roll - I dig this greasy looking tattoo man with his appreciation for AC/DC and weird mutant chaos monster guilt angst and odd…thing with the purple trash jet.

4. Roadblock - He’s a huge heavy weapons guy who originally wanted to be a chef, what is not endearing about that? Also First Strike has shown that he has impeccable taste in robot designs.

5. Madame President - All things considered, she’s been handling things incredibly well.

[teamfreewill-imagine]

Shadow

Summary: Jessica is relieved that you and Sam got back safe, and the brothers’ reunion with their father doesn’t go as you expected Words: 4.5k  Dean x Reader, Sam x Jess  Warnings: episode-related injury

A/N: this is part of my ‘Jess never died’ rewrite, find the masterpost here Beta: @blacksiren

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Jess was so relieved to see you when you eventually got back to the motel that she started to cry the second you opened the door.

She rushed over to you, pulling you into a rough hug and burying her face in your neck. You were certain you smelled terrible after your time trapped in a cage, but she didn’t mention it or seem to care when her tears were falling onto your shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you soothed, hugging her back and stepping the two of you to the side to let the brothers into the room. “Jessy, I’m here, we’re here, we’re okay.”

She nodded, pulling tighter as if she was trying to mould your bodies together.

Sam leant down and kissed the top of her head, mouthing ‘shower’ to you before heading for the bathroom.

“I’m gonna get us some food,” Dean said, softly. “Jessica’s favourite.”

You mouthed ‘thank you’ back at him, and he nodded, leaving you and your sister to it.

You pulled back, your hands holding her cheeks as you looked into her eyes, wiping tears with your thumbs.

“Jessy, we’re back now,” you reminded her, and she nodded. “I’m not gonna leave you any time soon.”

She took a deep, grounding breath.

“You were gone, and I couldn’t do anything to help,” she whispered. “I’m not ready to lose you yet.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m not ready to go then, huh?” you teased, kindheartedly.

She laughed, sniffing as she nodded.

“Dean’s getting us Chinese,” you informed her. “Sam’s showering.”

She pulled back fully, wiping her cheeks with her sleeves.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you should shower, too,” she told you, and you laughed, nodding.

“Want me to go join your boyfriend in there?” you offered, raising an eyebrow. “Always wanted to know if the rumours were true.”

She narrowed her eyes at you.

“Why was I happy to have you back?”

You grinned, kissing her cheek and walking further into the room.

“You love me,” you sing-songed.

She laughed softly, shaking her head.

“Sometimes I wonder why I do.”

You took a few days off to just spend together, the drama of the previous week had taken its toll on all of you.

Things with Dean were strained, but better than they had been. Neither of you were ready to completely forgive each other, but you were working on it. He was giving you space and letting you work through things on your own, at the same time as being there for you if you wanted to talk.

Sam and Jess were doing everything they could to make the two of you ‘admit you were stupid and kiss and make up’ (Jessica’s words), and you were warming to the idea slowly but surely. It was going to take a lot of grafting on both sides to build up that trust again but, as Sam reminded you, you were in this for the long run.

“This is a marathon, not a sprint. You and Dean have just hit the wall.”

Of course Sam Winchester would have some stupid sports reference to explain everything perfectly.

You got back on the road when you’d caught wind of a possible lead in Chicago, Illinois, and Dean and Sam were more than ready to get back into another hunt.

Jessica was somewhat more reluctant, but you reassured her that this time you wouldn’t leave her side.

You kept up your part of the bargain when the brothers went to their room to get changed and emerged dressed as employees of the victim’s alarm system company.

“Cute outfits,” you teased, and Sam shot you an irritated glance while Dean grumbled in agreement.

“I told you we look stupid.”

Sam pursed his lips, biting back a response to his brother’s protest.

“Do you want this to look believable or not?” he asked, and Dean just groaned, looking to you and your sister for help.

“I think you look great,” Jessica offered, causing Dean to roll his eyes. “Okay, not great as in those outfits make you look bangable, but great as in you look the part.”

Sam nodded, looking at his brother with an expression that could only be read as ‘I told you so’.

“I feel like a high school drama dork,” Dean protested, before a smile made its way onto his face. “Hey, Sammy, what was that play you did? What was it? Our Town. Yeah, you were good. It was cute.”

“Jessy did Our Town, too,” you added, ignoring the huff of irritation from your sister as she sat beside you on the bed. “Well, she was a stage hand. Her acting is questionable.”

Dean laughed, and even Sam allowed a little smile.

“Okay, whatever,” Jess sighed. “Are you boys gonna make a move or are we just gonna keep making me feel like a failure all morning?”

Sam smiled kindly, walking over to her and pulling her up into a hug.

“You’re not a failure, baby,” he assured her, kissing the top of her head. “Not everyone can be as theatrically gifted as me.”

She huffed a laugh, pulling back and placing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Sure,” she smiled. “Now go, be safe.”

He nodded, letting go of her and leaning down to kiss your cheek before making his way to the door.

Dean hovered between stepping towards you and following his brother, so you made the decision for him. You got to your feet, walking over to him and wrapping your arms around him.

He hugged back tentatively, and his strong arms made you feel secure in a way that you couldn’t quite explain.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” you told him, and he nodded, squeezing a little tighter before stepping away, smiling a small, private smile.

“We’ll call if we need anything,” he assured you, and you nodded, folding your arms as the two of them made their way out to the car.

Once the door closed behind them, you turned to see Jessica smiling at you.

“Leave it out, Smalls,” you warned, but that just made the smile turn to a grin.

“You hugged him,” she told you, as if this was news to you.

“Well, yeah,” you shrugged, “I still care about him. He’s going somewhere potentially dangerous.”

She nodded, walking back to the bed and sitting cross legged, still smiling at you.

You sighed, shaking your head in exasperation.

“I’m trying, Jessy,” you assured her. “Don’t make it weird.”

“I’m not,” she promised, trying to fight the grin back to a small smile.

You laughed, sitting down beside her and leaning against the headboard.

“We’re gonna be alright, you know?”

She looked at you, a soft frown pulling at her brows.

“What?”

“We’re gonna be alright,” you repeated. “You and Sam, me and you, hunting. It’s all gonna work out.”

She smiled, a little sadly this time.

“And you and Dean?” she offered, and you sighed, shrugging slightly.

“We’re figuring that out,” you told her, “But that’s not so important. We’re safe with them, you know? We’re a family.”

Jessica smiled, resting her head on your shoulder.

“Families fight,” you continued in a murmur. “But I’d willingly kill or die for any of you. We’re gonna be alright.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “We are.”

Sam texted you to meet them at a bar a few blocks away that evening, so you and Jessica made your way there early, grateful for an excuse to leave the motel.

You ordered some bar-standard, unnecessarily greasy food along with a couple of beers and skimmed through the local paper, reading up on the victims for the case.

By the time Sam and Dean entered the bar, you were just as confused as they looked.

“Hey,” you smiled, scooting over to let Dean into the booth beside you as Jess did the same for Sam.

“Did you find anything?” Dean asked, nodding to the papers. “Any correlation between the vics?”

You shook your head.

“The first guy, Ben Swardstrom,” you handed him the clipping. “Last month found mutilated in his town house. Same deal as this new one, Meredith. The door locked, alarm on.”

Sam frowned at the clipping when Dean slid it over.

“No connection, as far as we could tell,” Jess expanded. “I mean, not yet, at least. Ben was a banker, Meredith was a waitress. They never knew anyone in common.”

“Practically from different worlds,” you finished, and Sam looked up, his eyes looking past you and Dean and focussing on something across the room.

“What?” Dean asked, as Sam got to his feet. “Sam?”

Sam didn’t reply, and the three of you watched as he made his way over to a woman sitting by herself at another table.

He put his hand on her shoulder, and she turned around, a frown turning to a smile when she saw it was Sam.

Jessica clenched her jaw as she stood up and hugged him, grinning like she was greeting an old friend.

She got up and walked over to the two of them, her hands on her hips as she came to stand beside her boyfriend.

You and Dean shared a look before following her.

“Who’s this then, Sammy?” Dean asked, frowning down at the short haired woman.

Sam cleared his throat, looking at the three of you before looking back at her.

“Sorry Meg,” he sighed. “This is, uh- this is my girlfriend, Jess. Her sister, Y/N, and… uh, my brother, Dean.”

Meg raised her eyebrows, folding her arms.

“This is Dean?” she asked, and Dean smiled.

“So, you’ve heard of me?”

Meg scoffed.

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard of you. Nice, the way you treat your brother like luggage.”

You frowned, and Dean did the same.

“Sorry?”

“Why don’t you let him do what he wants to do?” she asked, irritated, her voice raising. “Stop dragging him over God’s green earth.”

Dean’s eyes widened, and Sam blushed deeply.

“Meg, it’s alright,” he placated, looking around as he realised your conversation was drawing attention.

“Okay, awkward,” Dean sighed, “I’m gonna go get a drink now. C’mon girls.”

You nodded, and Jessica glared at Meg.

She grabbed the front of Sam’s shirt, pulling him down into a claiming kiss.

You smirked, knowing full well about your sister’s jealous streak as the three of you made your way over to the bar.

“I don’t like her,” Jess murmured, and you laughed, putting your arm around her.

“Me neither,” Dean grumbled in agreement.

He ordered three shots, and all of you took them quickly, wincing as the liquor slid down your throats.

“Needed that,” Jess breathed, sliding the glass back across the bar.

“You’ve got nothing to be jealous about, you know that, right?” Dean assured her, and she shrugged.

Dean sighed, shaking his head.

“Jessica, Sam’s not as stupid as me,” he reiterated. “He loves you, he’s not gonna hurt you like that.”

“He’s right,” you agreed. “I wouldn’t let you stay with him for so long if I didn’t think he was a good guy.”

Sam walked over, smiling slightly, as if he didn’t realise how pissed off his girlfriend was.

“Let’s go,” Dean announced, and you packed your stuff up from the table in silence, nobody speaking until you were in the parking lot and Jessica couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Who the hell was she?” she asked, never one to play it cool.

Sam frowned at her tone.

“I don’t really know,” he told her, and she scoffed. “I’m serious, I only met her once. Meeting up with her again? I don’t know, it’s weird.”

“And what was she saying?” Dean added, equally annoyed. “I treat you like luggage? What, were you bitchin’ about me to some chick?”

Sam sighed, stopping by the car and leaning against the hood.

“Look, I’m sorry, Dean,” he told his brother as you and Jess folded your arms, watching and waiting for a real explanation. “It was when we had that huge fight at the side of the road, when I was in that bus stop in Indiana. But that’s not important, just listen-”

“Well, is there any truth to what she’s saying?” Dean interrupted, matching the stance you and your sister had taken. “I mean, are we keeping you against your will, Sam?”

“No, of course not,” Sam dismissed. “Now, would you listen?”

You all raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

“I think there’s something strange going on here,” he murmured, and you frowned.

“What kind of strange?” you questioned.

“Our kind of strange,” he affirmed. “Like, maybe even a lead.”

“Why do you say that?” Dean asked, confused, and Sam sighed.

“I met Meg weeks ago, literally on the side of the road. And now, I run into her in some random Chicago bar?” he shrugged, urging you all to think it was as strange as he did. “I mean, the same bar where a waitress was slaughtered by something supernatural? You don’t think that’s a little weird?”

You unfolded your arms, shoving your hands in your pockets.

“You don’t think this is just some random coincidence?” you offered. “It happens.”

“Yeah, it happens, but not to us,” Sam sighed. “Look, I could be wrong. I’m just saying that there’s something about this girl that I can’t quite put my finger on.”

Jess huffed an unamused laugh.

“You better not be putting fingers anywhere,” she murmured, and Sam rolled his eyes.

“It’s not like that, Jessica,” he assured her. “I just… you’ve got to admit it’s weird.”

Jess nodded reluctantly, and he pulled her into a hug.

“Dean, do me a favour,” Sam said, kissing your sister’s cheek. “Check and see if there’s really a Meg Masters from Andover, Massachusetts. And see if you can’t dig anything up on that symbol on Meredith’s floor.”

Dean frowned.

“And what are you gonna do?”

“I’m gonna watch Meg.”

Dean smirked, “Yeah you are, you little pervert.”

Jessica huffed in frustration, and you elbowed Dean in the side.

“Sorry, sorry,” he hastily apologised. “You’re taking Jess, I assume?”

Sam nodded, catching the keys as his brother tossed them over.

“Y/N and I’ll see if we can find anything,” Dean promised, and the two of you began to walk away.

“Behave yourselves,” Jess called, and you rolled your eyes, not looking back as you continued in the direction of the motel.

“What’s this symbol we have to research?” you asked Dean, grateful for an excuse for easy conversation.

He pulled his cell out of his pocket, getting up the picture and handing it to you.

“Sam thinks it’s a lead,” he explained. “But neither of us have seen it before.”

“That’s weird,” you murmured, looking at the small, pixelated imagine. “Sounds like we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Meg Masters checks out,” you sighed, turning your laptop to show Dean her high school photo.

“I knew it,” he sighed, shaking his head. “Sam worries about nothing.”

“And the symbol?” you asked, and Dean nodded.

“He was right about that, I found something. We should call them.”

You nodded, moving to sit beside him and read the information on his screen as Dean called his brother to relay what you’d found.

A demon of darkness, Daeva, that’s what you were dealing with. Why does this shit have to be demons again?

From what you could tell, and what Dean was telling Sam, someone would have really had to know what they were doing to summon one of these. A ‘major player’, as Dean put it.

Dean hung up the phone, turning to face you and sighing.

“He’s still convinced Meg’s not as innocent as she seems,” he told you, and you nodded.

“In his defence, it’s one hell of a coincidence,” you reminded him, moving back to your laptop at the opposite side of the table. “I’ve not been doing this as long as you, but coincidences usually mean some shit’s going down.”

He paused, assessing you with his gaze.

You waited for him to say something, looking back at him with open curiosity.

He hummed, nodding to himself before looking back at his laptop.

“Yeah.”

You laughed slightly, nudging his shin with your foot.

“What?”

“I shouldn’t say,” he mumbled, still looking at his screen.

“Dean.”

“Fine,” he sighed, finally looking at you. “It’s just hot when you talk all hunter-y.”

You felt the heat begin to rise on your cheeks, and you noticed Dean’s eyes track the colour.

“Thanks,” you murmured, unsure how to respond.

“I told you I shouldn’t have said it,” he sighed, looking back at his laptop and typing something into the search bar. “Just made things awkward.”

“No, it’s-” you paused, unsure of what to say. “We’re okay. We’re good.”

He smiled, his eyes flitting between yours and his screen.

“Yeah?”

You smiled, nodding.

“Yeah.”

“I’m coming with you.”

Dean groaned, leaning his head back in frustration.

Sam and Jess had come back with new information, and you’d found out that there was a chance of catching the bastard that killed Mary, that carved up your stomach.

Sam and Dean were getting ready to go and face it head on in an old warehouse, and you were determined to go with them.

“You’re staying here,” Sam told you, calmly packing weapons into his bag.

You glared at him.

“This bastard scarred me for life. Literally,” you reminded them. “I’m coming with you.”

“You’re staying right the fuck here, Y/N,” Sam snapped, and you gasped, taken aback by his tone.

“Sam-”

“No.”

You frowned at him, folding your arms as Dean and Jess walked out to the car, throwing some bags in the back.

“Why are you being like this?”

“I got you into this mess, Y/N,” he sighed as Jess came back into the room, standing next to you.

“Yeah, well I’m in it now.”

Sam shook his head, motioning to your sister.

“Jessica can’t come because of my dreams,” he reminded you. “You’re staying here with your sister.”

“Please,” Jess murmured. “Stay with me.”

You sighed, shaking your head.

“I’m not happy.”

“I know,” Sam nodded, walking over to the two of you.

He kissed Jessica softly before pressing his lips to your temple.

“We’ll be back soon.”

You nodded, looking over at Dean as he reentered the room.

You walked across to him, wrapping your arms around him and hugging him tight.

“If you fuck this up I’m going to kill you,” you whispered, and you felt him nod against your neck.

You pulled back, pausing for a second before throwing caution to the wind and placing a firm kiss to his lips.

“For luck,” you told him, and he nodded, bringing a large hand to the back of your head and kissing your forehead.

“Back before you know it,” he assured you as you stepped back.

“Yeah,” you sighed, watching the two of them leave.

You closed the door when the impala pulled away, getting your cell out of your pocket and making a call.

Unsurprisingly, it went to voicemail, but you were already prepared to leave a message.

“John, it’s Y/N. I know Dean called you earlier, but he’s called you before and you’ve not come. This has something to do with what hurt me… the thing that killed Mary,” you paused, taking a breath. “Please, if you’re anywhere near Chicago. 1435 West Erie. Your boys need you.”

You hung up before you turned to see Jess, finding her watching you curiously.

“If I can’t go, someone has to,” you explained, throwing your phone down onto the bed. “And Sam needs to see his dad.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, walking across and hugging you close. “They’ll be okay.”

“Yep,” you confirmed, your voice surer than you felt as you pulled back and walked over to the little motel TV. “Let’s find a shitty film to distract us.”

You jumped when there was a knock on the door, glancing worriedly at your sister when it wasn’t followed by a low confirmation from Sam or Dean.

You picked up your gun, putting the latch on the door before opening it slowly.

A tall man with dark hair was stood outside, his hands up in a casual surrender.

“Who are you?” you asked, gun still poised through the crack of the door. “What are you doing here?”

A slow smirk spread across his face.

“Is that any way to greet your future father-in-law, Y/N?”

You frowned, your fingers flexing around your pistol. “John?”

“Bingo.”

You closed the door to take it off the latch, talking to Jess over your shoulder.

“Get me a silver blade, please,” you requested, and she got up to find something suitable as you reopened the door. “And holy water.”

John went to step in but you kept the gun raised, stopping him.

“Christo,” you said, watching for a flinch, a flicker of black eyes.

“I’m not a demon,” he sighed, and you shrugged.

“I don’t know you,” you reminded him. “You could be anything.”

Jessica handed you the blade, and you lowered your gun, putting the safety on and tucking it into your pants. “Hold out your hand.”

John rolled his eyes, taking the blade from you and slicing a small line across his palm.

“Holy water,” he requested, and your sister handed him the flask.

He poured some into the small cut, using it to clean the wound. Not even a flinch.

“Are we done?” he asked, and you nodded, stepping aside to let him into the room.

“I’ve got to admit, I’m impressed,” he told you, leaning against the chest of drawers and folding his arms casually. “My boys taught you well.”

“On that subject,” you interjected, closing the door. “Shouldn’t you be at the warehouse?”

“They’re on their way here,” he informed you, weighing you and your sister up with calculating eyes.

So that’s where Dean got that from.

“You two look out for them.”

It wasn’t a question, but you and Jess nodded anyway.

“They’re lucky to have you.”

You heard the impala pull up outside, and you shared a look with Jessica, unsure how the brothers were going to react.

There was a knock on the door, followed by Sam’s signature, “It’s us, let us in.”

Jess walked over to open the door, being enveloped in Sam’s hug before she hand the chance to say anything.

Dean stepped up to the room, smiling at you until his eyes fell on his father.

“Dad?” he breathed, and John smiled slightly.

“Hey, boys.”

They walked towards each other, John pulling his eldest into a rough hug as Sam’s head snapped up, his arms falling from around Jessica.

After a while, Dean and John broke apart, and Dean cleared his throat, walking over to hug you.

“Hi, Sam,” John offered, and Sam smiled sadly.

“Hey, Dad,” he breathed, closing the door and putting his bag on the floor.

“It was a trap,” Dean told you, kissing the top of your head before facing his father. “Dad, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s alright,” John assured him. “I thought it might’ve been.”

Dean nodded, dropping his head before looking back up.

“Were you there?”

“Yeah,” John admitted. “I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive. She was the bad guy, right?”

Sam and Dean nodded, replying in unison, “Yes, sir.”

John nodded, leaning back against the furniture.

“Good. Well, it doesn’t surprise me. It’s tried to stop me before.”

That caught your attention.

“The demon has?” you clarified, and he nodded again.

“It knows I’m close. It knows I’m gonna kill it. Not just exorcise it or send it back to hell- actually kill it.”

Dean frowned, standing straighter. “How?”

John smiled, “I’m still workin’ on that.”

“Let us come with you,” Sam blurted, stepping forward until his brother shot him a warning look. “We’ll help.”

“No, Sam, not yet,” John told him, and you moved beside Jess, taking her hand and squeezing reassuringly. “Just try to understand. This demon is a scary son of a bitch, I don’t want you caught in the crossfire. I don’t want you hurt.”

“Dad, you don’t have to worry about us,” Sam tried but John shook his head.

“Of course I do, I’m your father.”

He paused, looking at Sam, a glint of sadness in his eyes.

“Look, Sammy, last time we saw each other, we had one hell of a fight.”

Sam swallowed. “Yes, sir.”

“It’s good to see you again,” John told him. “It’s been a long time.”

Sam sniffed, tears welling in his eyes. “Too long.”

The pair embraced, and Jess rested her head on your shoulder, fighting back tears herself.

Within the blink of an eye, John was thrown back into a set of cabinets.

“No!” Dean boomed, just in time for the five of you to be thrown to the ground.

New scratches were dug into your cheeks by invisible creatures as you were tossed around the room like ragdolls.

“Shut your eyes!” Sam shouted, and you instantly complied without question. “These things are shadow demons, so let’s light ‘em up!”

You kept your eyes scrunched shut while a bright white light filled the room and you felt around for your sister, helping her to her feet and finding your way out of the room.

Once you felt the cool night air on your skin, you opened your eyes checking Jessica’s injuries.

“I’m okay,” she insisted, but the blood on her face said something else. “Let’s just get to the car.”

Sam tossed the bag of weapons into the back, before turning to John.

“Alright, come on, we don’t have much time,” he told you. “As soon as the flare’s out, they’ll be back.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Dean interrupted. “Sam, wait. Dad, you can’t come with us.”

“What?” you blurted. “What are you talking about?”

John sighed, his eyes flicking over the injuries on each of you. “You’re all beat to hell.”

“We’ll be alright,” Dean assured him.

“Dean, we should stick together,” Sam tried. “We’ll go after those demons-”

“Sam, listen to me,” Dean said, stepping into his brother’s field of vision. “We almost got Dad killed in there. Don’t you understand? They’re not gonna stop. They’re gonna try again. They’re gonna use us to get to him. I mean, Meg was right. Dad’s vulnerable when he’s with us. He- he’s stronger without us around.”

Sam shook his head, stepping around Dean to John.

“Dad, no,” he mumbled, placing a hand on John’s shoulder. “After everything, after all the time we spent looking for you, please. I gotta be a part of this fight.”

“Get in the car, girls,” Dean murmured, and you nodded, opening the back door and getting in after your sister.

You and Jessica watched as John explained to Sam why he had to leave, knowing full well that Sam was going to be closed off and upset once he got back in the car.

“Dean’s right,” Jessica whispered, and you nodded.

“I know,” you sighed. “It’s still gonna be hard on him though.”

“That’s what we’re here for,” she replied, watching as John got into his truck. “Support.”

“Yeah.”

Sam and Dean got into the car wordlessly, and you caught Dean’s eye in the rearview mirror as he reversed out of the parking spot.

He smiled sadly, and you nodded back.

It was gonna be a long drive.

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[hotel-massage-london]

Massages from around the world – Weird, wonderful & whacky

Massages from around the world – Weird, wonderful & whacky

Everyone has had a massage before, whether it’s your bog standard Swedish style or something a little more touchy feely if you know I mean… Either way, most people have experienced first-hand the delights and wonders of massage in any form. Massage is an ancient ritual and was established thousands of years ago in Asia. Over the years, this sacred practice has adapted; hybrid styles have emerged and people have used their imaginations to create new styles. That’s all well and good obviously, but some people just have to take it too far don’t they? There is nothing wrong with being creative, but it’s safe to say that some idiots from across the world have gone a little OTT with experimentation. It’s almost a competition to see who can invent the most ridiculous massage style. Although the list is seemingly endless, we have gone to the effort of narrowing down our favourite weird massage styles from around the globe. Some call them revolutionary, I just call them down right stupid to be honest; but I’ll let you be the judge of that…

Python massage

Okay, so imagine it. You’ve been sightseeing all day and you’re aching in places you didn’t even know existed. You’re offered a massage- are you going to turn it down? Of course you aren’t, it’s exactly what you need right now. Or is it?… Cebu City Zoo in the Philippines is a tourist hotspot, but also attracts people from across the world for a different reason. Lunatics from around the globe don’t just come to the zoo to see animals; they come to get up close and personal with them. Well, the Pythons, to be exact. Cebu City Zoo’s notorious Python massage is arguably one of the strangest massage styles on the planet, and is probably a living nightmare for most people. Four giant Burmese Pythons, weighing a massive 250kg collectively are placed on a brave ass mother f***** and left to slither around as they please. The pythons, named Walter, Daniel, Michelle and EJ are fed about 10 chickens each before the massage to curb their hunger pains. No human for dessert then? The session is said to last around 10-15 minutes and is apparently very therapeutic and calming; each to their own. I’d rather not tempt 4 man-eating snakes to have a bite…

Cactus Massage

When it comes to spa treatments, we are all spoiled for choice. There’s a treatment for absolutely everything- literally. When you’re on holiday or out of town for business, exploring luxury treatments is a given- but would you be willing to take a risk on potentially waste a load of money on something unconventional? If your answer is yes, take a trip to the Four Seasons’ hotel in Punta Mita, Mexico and give their famous Hakali cactus massage a go. Before you ask, this isn’t an ancient form of acupuncture- the needles are removed before the session and only the paddles (the leaves) are used. The paddles are heated in warm water and are split in half once soft. The gooey side is then rubbed onto the skin, helping to heal sunburns, hydrating the skin and banishing toxins. And the best part is, the nopal juice absorbs quickly into the skin and doesn’t leave you feeling greasy or sticky after the session- result! Sounds pretty good if you ask me!

The meat cleaver massage

Is it just me, or does this sound like something out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre? No, this terrifying massage wasn’t inspired by horror movies; it was actually invented in China and dates back to 770BC! The session, which typically only lasts around 10 minutes, begins when the brave participant lays face down on the massage table. The masseuse/butcher look-a-like then uses the SHARP side of the 10” blade and gently begins to knead and tap the skin with the cleaver. However, these massages aren’t necessarily sought out for muscle release- it’s more of a spiritual style. It is believed that the steel can help to remove ‘negative energy’ from the body, and can encourage deeper sleep and better circulation. Okay, so maybe it isn’t as scary as I thought, and it only costs around $7 a session- bargain. Maybe you’ve pulled my leg…

Gondola Massage

Everyone dreams of experiencing the picturesque and sickeningly dreamy sites that Venice has to offer; after all, it is the most romantic city in the world. But, if bopping along the city’s’ famous canals in a gondola wasn’t good enough already, imagine getting a massage at the same time? Sign me up right away! Yes, Gondola massage is now a thing, and it’s safe to say people have lost their shit over it. At the Casanova Spa at the Hotel Cipriani, Venice offers these sensational massage experiences for any relaxation-seeker with a few hundred euros lying around. Easy. The massage is conducted in a private gondola with a trained masseuse and gondolier at hand, and is performed on the beautiful waters of the ancient city. As the massage focuses mainly on the feet, hands and upper part of the body, you don’t have to worry about passers-byers having a cheeky peek at your goodies. Afraid you’ll fry under the sun? Don’t worry; the massage oil used during the session was specifically designed to contain SPF protection agents- so no sunburn today kids. Get me there right now!

Elephant massage

Have you had a stressful couple of weeks and need a massage to let off some steam? If you’re feeling a little tense, why not commission an elephant to sort it out for you? No, we don’t mean some middle aged masseuse on Craigslist, we mean an actual elephant, believe it or not. A tourist park in Chiang Mai, Thailand advertises these chancy massages to any courageous volunteers with balls of steel. Of course, the elephants have been trained to delicately press their feet on the backs of the subjects, and also sometimes use their trunks to lightly manipulate the muscles. Don’t get me wrong, I love elephants, but I don’t fancy the idea of one standing on me. The fact this massage is free says it all!

African snail massage

If you’re obsessed with turning back the clock and preventing ageing as much as possible, then you’ll probably have all of the latest fad creams on the market. But how do you fancy giving snail slime a go? Anything for youthful, soft skin, right? Believe it or not, salons across the world are using this bizarre technique all in the name of beauty. This rather unusual facial was created by a French bloke a couple of years ago who claimed that snails are full of collagen. As such, having these gross little critters sliding all over your face can actually work wonders for the skin and its elasticity. This apparently, ‘relaxing’ massage/facial is meant to feel god damn amazing- that is after you’re able to get over the fact smarmy insects are probably crapping on your face. I’m going to pass, thanks.

Tickling massage

If you’re anything like me, you’ll find being tickled to be the worst form of torture known to man. Seeing a finger float towards my neck literally sends fear pulsating through my body. Unbeknown to me, however, not everyone shares the same dislike as I do. In fact, some people pay for it (weirdoes). Tickling massage is a thing, and for me, it is a manifestation of my worst nightmares. This tormenting massage style originated in Madrid, Spain and is performed in order to reduce stress. Using delicate finger tips and soft feathers, masseuses gently trace down the clients’ back and other areas, and adapt their routine depending on how ticklish each person is. The more ticklish, the more sensitive their routine becomes etc. Personally, I’d rather not pay a stranger $35 to torture me, but if this sounds like your kind of thing, be my guest. It’s your funeral!

Flames massage

Oddly enough, setting fire to yourself isn’t as bad as people seem to think- well, not when it comes to Flame massage, anyway. This rather fiery form of massage is not for the faint hearted, that’s for sure- but if you’re brave enough to get hot and steamy, then you’re in for a treat. Originating in China, Flame massage is very popular during the winter in traditional, Chinese hospitals and it used to prevent illnesses such as flu and colds. Typically, masseurs sprinkle towels with a flammable substance (usually alcohol) and then set it on fire. The towel is then placed on the client, and is then eventually put out using another towel. Surprisingly, the massage isn’t at all painful and is actually meant to be great for losing weight? The term, ‘burning fat’ has never been truer!

Massages by the blind

When you’re investing money into a luxury, you should never go into it blind. At least, you shouldn’t- but your masseuse might. Believe it or not, ‘blind massage parlours’ are insanely popular in China- so much so, it is believed that there’s one on every street block in some areas. The massage itself is pretty standard in many regards, and still focuses on relieving muscle tension and inducing relaxation. However, creator Ly Yuan says that blind massage is better because, “giving a good massage is dependent on a person’s tactile sensitivity. Obviously, blind people have a strong advantage in this.” If you say so Yuan, if you say so.

Pancake massage

Well, what would you know? Finally a massage with sense behind it! I mean, I don’t actually know what a hot pancake could do for the skin, but does that really matter? You’re covered in pancakes- that’s all I need to know! But seriously guys, pancake massage is an actual thing, and its meant to be pretty good. Essentially, fresh, hot pancakes are applied directly to the skin which is said to help tackle fatigue, nourish the skin and banish excess fluid. Practitioners of this tasty massage treatment also claim that it improves bloody circulation but maintaining proper body heat and utilising natural flour for healing properties. Sounds like a load of crap if you ask me, but count me in!

Egg massage

Oh my god seriously? Guys, my head if seriously scrambled now. I wish I was kidding, but im not- ‘Egg massage’ is a thing, and it’s more popular then you’d think. This style originated in china (obviously) and is practiced more for superstition purposes as opposed to healing ones. In China, they believe that it is good luck for a father to give his child a head massage with eggs after the baby has had a haircut. Traditional belief dictates that on the second day of the Lunar month, the egg-massage is said to bring good luck and fortune. I’m just going to stick to fortunate cookies I think guys, I don’t know about you.

Thankfully that concludes our list of weird and not-so-wonderful massage styles from around the world. I myself will stick to the more traditional styles; after all, I don’t really fancy being set on for, eaten by a deadly python, being tickled to death and being squashed flat by an elephant. Oh, and don’t forget about being smothered head to toe in smelly egg. No thank you. I’ll stick to something less eccentric I think…

If you’d like to book in for a massage that’s a little out of the ordinary but not too wild, why not consider an Oriental massage with a trained professional? If you’d like to be pampered and pleasured by a gorgeous Asian masseuse at a time and a place that suits you, then give us a call on the telephone number below or come visit us at our address:

Hotel Massage London Jermyn St St James’s London SW1Y 6JD 07818115228

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