#love the little nace bojan interaction we had here

[mitamicah]

Probably not the best quality pictures ever but I couldn't resist Fish!Nace x'D

[jedibinx]

Fic Masterlist - JediBinx 💜💚🖤

Here it is! The masterlist - I had no clue where to even start so I've organised them into Series and One-shots and linked each one with a short (very short!) summary of what it's about hope this helps! ^_^:

One-Shots:

When Darkness Calls, Who Will Answer? - vampire Jere with gender neutral reader. Creepy, strange and murdery.

Sweater Paws - Jere/Bojan - good old fashioned smutty smut smut.

It Started Out With A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This? - Jere/Jukka post on-stage kiss.

Slender Wrists and Gentle Kissed - Jere/Security Man Veikko - Veikko has to comfort Jere after a traumatic incident.

The Will Of The Unconscious - Jere/Bojan - Bojan's POV, we find a struggling writer discovers the perfect inspiration... or did the writer create the inspiration?

Flash Fiction Picture Challenge - I take ten photos and create two sentence stories based on them

Just Once - I angsted up the onlyfans content. Because I could and I live to torture lol

Ask Me To Pose, I'll Be Your Doll - inspired by this lovely artwork. Nace/Jere fluff love.

Tell Me I'm A Good Boy - J/Jere smut. This is the fic that started it all with J.

Scratch The Itch - request for a friend - Kris/Nace smut

We Will Prevail - Bojan/Jere. Bojan surprises Jere for Valentine's day but not everything goes to plan and Bojan ends up playing the man card and being a stupid stupid head. Will he be able to save everything he ever wished for?

Parasocial Investigations - Kris/Jere. Kris is a social media influencer focusing on mental health and positive mindsets. Jere is alone, mentally unwell, and clings to Kris' videos and every interaction he has with him. When Jere convinces himself that Kris wants to come to stay, how will it turn out?

Wine, Dine and (Gory) Sexy Time - Tommy/Jere. Vampire gore and smut.

Save Me With Death - Bojan/Jere. Bojan is dying and stumbles across Jere, a starving vampire all but desperate for food. What will happen?

Daddy J and his Famalamadingdongs - my crack fic where Bojan joins Jere's religious cult where he's referred to as Daddy J.

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend - Tommy/Jere. Tommy is a voyeur and Jere is all too happy to help. Smut.

Laid Bare - Jere. Stripper AU. Angsty, sexy, dramatic and traumatic.

Perhana - Bojan/Jere. Even more traumatic. Death and sadness.

Multi-Chapter Stories (Non-Series):

Wake Up - Bojan/Jere - A psychological thriller where we see Bojan, an ex addict try and patch things up with Jere but all the while Jere is falling further and further into a set of diaries that he has found... but all is not as it seems. What will happen when one slowly starts to fall apart and the other desperately tries to keep them together? What happens when things aren't what they seem, or are they just a dream within a dream? Can we really trust our own senses to tell us the truth?

Love and Be Loved, Kill or Be Killed - Jere/OC Female - Mara is a busy GP living her life as best as she can spreading kindness wherever she goes. She can't help it; she's just nice. When her town is plagued by a spree of murders on local women, she becomes anxious and a little paranoia takes hold of her but she carries on her day to day routine as best as she can, refusing to allow fear take over her life. When her good friend, Jere, asks for help with his sick mother, kind, caring Mara... how could she refuse? Little does she know that there's a side to Jere that she hasn't yet seen, but she's read all about it in the papers... and she's about to see it first hand...

Skylar - Regular life AU. Skylar is eighteen and being let loose into the world after spending his entire life in foster care. Kris has been assigned to be his counsellor after social services recognising he needed some assistance.

(UNFINISHED) Till Death Us Do Love - Vampire AU. Jere/Damon - After a freak accident that rocked the world by creating mutated humans not unlike the vampires seen in the Hollywood movies, humans fight back and reluctantly live besides them. Hatred is rife between the two species (and even that term is a stretch as technically they are still humans, just mutated). Jere is a vampire, the same yet different from the others, fleeing from Finland with his brother Mikke. Damon is a human who just wants to live his life the way he wants to but is met with nothing but resistance. How will the world cope when two unsuspecting people's lives run into one another, creating a cataclysmic explosion of a celestial fate that will create a ripple effect that no-one will be able to stop?

(UNFINISHED) Let Go - regular life AU - Jere/J. Jere is a stressed out married man seeking professional services from a Dom sex worker by the name of J. J is an aloof sex worker/dancer who holds everyone at arms length in order to protect themself. He/Him during work, They/Them during personal life. What happens when both people reach a breaking point and come clashing together in a destiny meant for two? Will they be able to let go, grab hold, and trust?

Series:

Jere/Nace One Shots - Porn with Feelings and Plot - 6 one shots - set in real life AU.

Kinktober Universe - Jere/Nace regular life AU. 4 multi-chapter stories. Jere and Nace have a marriage on the rocks and have 31 days to save it. (the subsequent stories are prequels - Holiday where they first meet, university and the letters during university)

BoJere Fluffy Fluff Fluff - regular life AU where Bojan and Jere have both moved to the UK and meet. All fluff no smut super sweet and delicious. 2 multi-chapter parts.

Writing Requests - 30 one shots requested by my lovely tumblr friends! ^_^ Includes, smut, gore, fluff, comedy, drama, angst everything you could ask for. All different pairings, polycule and even fantasy in there too.

Soulmate AU snapshots - Bojan/Jere - Bojan is immortal and Jere keeps reincarnating, forcing Bojan to fall in love over and over again.

(UNFINISHED) Finding NetherRealm Series - Fantasy AU. Lexi is a doctorate student, on her way to becoming the next member of the Horrorlogical Society. All she has to do is complete her placement at the Zoo of the Otherworld and not get too attached to the creature she is meant to study. Easy, right? Käärijä has been captured, stuffed inside a wooden box. He's in pain, he's scared, he's been taken from his family and he doesn't know where he is. All he has to do is make himself as scary as possible, for as long as possible, and they'll leave him alone. Easy, right? If there is one thing that they will learn rather quickly is that nothing in life, no matter who or what or where, is easy.

[madrabit]

Hey :3 can I request 8 + BoJance? 🫶

Hey, ofc you can request that! Sorry it got a little out of hand and turned into a slightly angsty 3,3k thing, but I guess that's short for me 🤠 (I am making no promises for the other prompts being as long, since this was actually sth I wanted to write for a bit now) I do hope you like it tho!

Here you can find the prompt list! Feel free to send me sth. And now, enjoy! 🩷

Send me a number and a Ship and I'll write you a kiss!

8. ... in secrecy.

"You really don‘t want to come with us?"

Bojan looked up from his phone as Jan stepped in front of him, wearing his leather jacket and a beanie, ready to go out. In the little hallway, he could see Nace put on his winter coat.

"Yeah, I'll stay here", he said, pulling up his legs onto the couch, wrapping his arms around them, one finger idly tracing along the fresh tattoo on his calf, careful to not touch the still tender skin. Jan just stared at him for a second, dark eyes following the movement of Bojan's hand. His face was blank, normally plush lips pressed into a thin line and Bojan almost started to squirm under his gaze, feeling like one of those butterflies pinned to a board. Usually he loved Jan looking at him, basked in the attention the other was giving him, but right now it felt like the guitarist was trying make him cave and give in. And Bojan would love to, he really would, but he just couldn't.

"I really think-", Jan started, his tone flat, but before he could go on, Nace popped up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"And I think we shouldn't talk about this right now, Jan", Nace said calmly, squeezing Jan's shoulder, before he threw Bojan a soft smile.

"This is a stupid idea", Jan grumbled, a frown settling onto his face, but then his posture relaxed and he sighed, shaking his head slightly. He mumbled something else, something Bojan couldn't understand, which probably was for the better, before he turned his head to look at Nace, who just gave him the same warm smile, he had given Bojan earlier.

"We'll have to go now, we told Damon we will be there by six", Nace said, taking his hand from Jan and searching in the pocket of his coat for his phone, "Jan wanted to take a quick stop in Chinatown on our way home, do you want us to get you some takeaway?"

Bojan pulled his legs closer, shifting under Jan's still lingering gaze until the dark haired guitarist groaned and made his way out of the living room, two pairs of brown eyes following him.

"I'm sorry", Bojan said, voice small and unsure, but he knew Jan wouldn't hear it as the front door fell closed.

"We'll talk about this some other time, it's okay, don't worry Bojči", Nace sighed, ruffling the singer's hair gently before he, too, turned and followed after Jan, the sound of the door shutting the only thing echoing through the otherwise empty house right now.

The interaction left a bad feeling in him. Jan was angry, he knew that. And he had all the right to be, they had planned this all together, but Bojan had pulled back just last night, nerves getting to him. He had ended up tossing and turning, tiptoeing back to his own room in the middle of the night to not bother Jan and Nace too much and let them get the rest that they needed after a long day at the studio.

Bojan had thought it would be easier after moving to London. That he would finally be able to let go of social expectations, get out of the suffocating hold it had on him, break out of this typical teenage heartthrob corset that was constricting and didn't allow for him to breathe or make mistakes. Or live a life that was just a little bit out of the norm.

And in a certain way it did, not only thanks to finally being able to spend all of his free time with the people he loved most, but also their new environment, not having to hide himself away from the world.

It had made him relax, and in turn, it made his friends relax too. They didn't have to only deal with their own issues, but also Bojan's, especially Jan and Nace, who for some reason weren't only his friends but also more. Not that anybody except for Jure and Kris knew.

He sighed, reaching for his phone and tapped into his notes app, looking through the current lyrics he was writing, but knowing he wouldn't be able to write anything. So instead, he just resorted to scrolling through social media, looking at fanart and other things to take his mind off everything.

It didn't take too long until Kris and Jure came back, carrying bags of groceries through the door and immediately, Bojan jumped up to help them.

"Weren't you supposed to be having a shoot right now? Why aren't you with the others?", Kris asked once Bojan had taken a bag from him, making his way through the hallway and living room into the kitchen.

"I...", the singer started, but didn't know how to go on, so he stopped, staying quiet as Kris set the bag he still had been carrying down on the counter, turning to Jure to help him, but not before throwing Bojan a sceptical look.

"You're stupid, you know that, right?", Kris sighed, shaking his head as he started to sort through the groceries as Bojan set the last bag down.

"I know, you don't need to rub it in, Krisko."

"No, I don't think you do, but we love you anyway, so we deal with your dumbass", the younger said, putting a can of tomatoes into a cupboard, as Jure as snooping through the fridge for something to snack.

"Ow", Bojan mumbled, looking at the floor. His eyes fixed on the tiles, following the swirly pattern, just so he wouldn't be confronted with Kris's disappointed stare. He knew he was being stupid, knew he should have just gone with his boyfriends, shouldn't have been afraid to do what they had planned for a while now, what exactly did he have to loose?

Nothing.

Everything.

It wasn't that he was ashamed of himself, or of his partners, he would never, never, be ashamed of the people he loved. But he just couldn't. Just the thought of putting his relationship out there, for everyone to see, for everyone to judge, was making Bojan freeze on the spot. It made him want to pull back, afraid of the comments and hate he certainly would get, that had always been coming when he did something people thought was wrong, no matter what it was. There was always someone getting angry, shouting at him and making him feel bad about being himself.

"It's my turn to cook today", Jure suddenly said, having been quiet before while he was raiding the fridge. Now he was bouncing on his feet, already looking through everything him and Kris had bought before. "I think we're gonna make pasta? Are you okay with that?"

Kris nodded, taking of his coat and handing it to Bojan with a smile and a "thank you" as the shorter man held out his arms to take both of their jackets, slowly slinking out of the kitchen as the other two started planning dinner.

They ate crouched around the little coffee table. Bojan was watching a random nature documentary Nace had started this morning and that Bojan had then been very interested in, while Jure and Kris were talking, the youngest having a noticeable blush on his face.

As Jure had thrown an arm around Kris's shoulder, Bojan had made his way to his room, giving the both of them some alone time that they actually would've had if he would have went with Jan and Nace like he was supposed to. And not long after, he fell asleep in the bed he had spent maybe one night in since they had moved here.

Their house was small, barely big enough for five grown adults, but it was more than enough if these men lived in each others pockets anyway. Three bedrooms, a nice bathroom for British standards and a garage for them to use as a makeshift jam session space if they didn't want to go to the studio they also had rented. Kris had instantly claimed the biggest bedroom for him and Jure, insisting that they needed it and the youngest had almost made a whole list of reasons, until Nace, Jan and Bojan had just shrugged and let them have it. The other double room was small, so Bojan had moved his things into the last, single bedroom. Not that he had been spending a lot of time in there anyway, using the room more as some sort of walk in closet than an actual bedroom.

He woke up in the middle of the night, wrapped up in a blanket and with his phone on the charger, while he knew he hadn't been under the covers and fell asleep with another documentary playing. Slightly confused, he looked around, taking in the dark room around him. It felt weird sleeping alone now, after being used to sharing a bed with his boyfriends. He loved being cuddled, slept better when he was close to his loved ones and was being held. But right now, he wasn't sure if he should make his way to their room, crawl into bed like a little kid scarred of the dark.

It was late already, they would be sleeping anyway and Bojan didn't plan on waking them up right now, not when he didn't even know when they got home.

He rolled over, reaching for his phone, scrolling through social media, sorting through all the notifications he had gotten until one caught his eye. His heart immediately started to race, fingers shaking as he tapped into Damon's newest story.

If his heart was beating a mile a minute before, it now had stopped, as well as his breath.

The photos were incredible. Jan and Nace looked incredible. They always did, Bojan knew that, probably better than anyone else. Seeing the both of them together on a normal day made him stop for a second, unable to do anything else but stare at them with an expression that was so ridiculously in love that Kris had started to make fun of it every time he noticed.

But this? This was killing him.

Damon was a master at his craft, making sure everything was perfect, Bojan had seen him at work himself, had had a long session with him that had felt more like therapy than anything else, just as Kris had said before. So it was no wonder he would take perfect pictures of them, would make them look like they are meant to be together. Like they belong to each other.

They were beautiful, looking at each other with so much love, affection and devotion, that it made his heart overflow with the same emotions. His breath hitched, and he could feel tears well up in his eyes, threatening to spill over.

His chest clenched harshly and he just couldn't help but look away from his screen for a second. The pictures were amazing, more than amazing, they were everything, but there was something lurking at the back of his mind. A little nagging thought he wanted to ignore, wanted to drown out with the love and warmth he felt inside him.

The photos left no doubt on how close Jan and Nace were, how well they fit together and no one could deny that it looked a lot like a coming out post. Which it technically was, they had talked about it, how it would seem, what they wanted to show. Had talked with Damon about how to do it. They hadn't planned to make a statement, would just show their true selves and let people decide for themselves.

They had put themselves put there, for everyone to judge, to form an opinion, and they had wanted him to be with them. Had wanted to show the world that the same love they held for each other also extended to him.

And Bojan had pulled away, had told his boyfriends, the ones he loved most in his life, that he couldn't do it. Couldn't show himself like that, was afraid of what people would think of him if he gave up that part of himself, let everyone see who he was, deep down and who he loved.

It was a ridiculous thought.

He should've went with them. No matter what anyone would've thought. No wonder Jan was angry, Bojan would be too if he felt like his own boyfriend wanted to deny him, if it felt like he was ashamed of him.

His chest clenched again, hard and he had to concentrate to keep his breath calm, his eyes still stinging and he wanted to blink away the tears, but instead of disappearing, they fell, running down his cheeks and into the pillow that was barely used. He was stupid, stupid to only think of himself, to push all of his baggage onto Jan and Nace, let them handle not only their own fears, but also Bojan's anxious thoughts.

He needed to talk to them, right now, needed to tell them both just how much he loved them and how he wasn't able to live without the two of them by his side. How he would wither and break if he didn't have their love and support. But not right now, not when they were sleeping and not when the chance of Jan still being angry at him was hanging in the air.

Finally, after having Damon's story open and staring at the pictures for what felt like an eternity, tears streaking his face and a sob ripping from his throat, he tapped out of it, ready to throw his phone to the side and cry himself to sleep if he had to, when he noticed the colorful rings around both Jan's and Nace's profile pictures. Sitting there, right next to each other, which they hadn't been before. They were awake, they had to be.

Without thinking about it, Bojan locked his phone, wrangling himself out of the sheets and slowly made his way to the door.

The way to Jan and Nace’s (and his own, if they were being honest here) room was short, barely a few steps and slowly he opened the door a bit, pressing himself through the little space and closed it again when he was finally inside.

Two pairs of dark eyes were staring at him. Nace and Jan were both tucked under the covers, looking soft and warm, ready to fall asleep. And Bojan's chest clenched again at the thought of what he could have if he just asked for it.

"I'm sorry..."

The words fell from him before he could stop them, just like the tears still flowing freely down his cheeks. Bojan sniffled, wiping his wet cheek and then fiddled with the hem of his shirt. He shifted his weight from one foot to another, feeling small and vulnerable, ready to just sink away into nothingness if he would be allowed to.

"I'm sorry I didn't come with you", he continued when the other two didn't say anything, taking a small step towards the bed, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said no."

Nace sat up, a sad expression on his face, probably mirroring Bojan's own pitiful and pathetic look and it made Bojan sob a little harder.

"I'm sorry for not being able to be honest", he pressed put, getting closer to the bed.

"For not being brave enough..."

Another step.

His eyes fixed on Jan. The guitarist's face was blank, features held in a carefully shielded expression. More tears ran down his cheeks.

"I didn't want this...", he said, his knees finally hitting the mattress, "I didn't want to make you feel like this..."

Jan looked up at him, still quiet, but there was a twitch in the corner of his mouth, a certain look in his eyes, that Bojan knew too well.

"I love you, both of you. So much. I didn't want to make you feel like I don't want you, don't need you, because I do. I need you so much that it scares me..."

He wiped his cheek again, taking a deep breath and before he could do anything else, Jan had leaned up, wrapped an arm around his waist and had pulled him down. Bojan toppled over, falling onto the bed and in Jan's waiting arms, couldn't tell sky from ground for a moment until he found himself laying between the two other men. Jan pulled him close, one hand cupping Bojan's cheek and wiping away tears.

"I don't want to have to hide you anymore", Jan says lowly, pressing their foreheads together. His face was serious, but warm, open and Bojan felt warmth spreading through him.

"You belong to us as much as we belong to you, as much as we belong to each other", the taller went on, letting his hand slip to Bojan's hair, tugging on it softly, "I don't want to keep this a secret, Bojan, I don't want to keep you a secret."

Behind him, the singer could feel Nace move, he felt an arm sneaking around him, settling on his waist, a hand slipping under his shirt to caress soft skin.

"I love you too much for that", Jan mumbled, petting his hair and rubbed their noses together.

Bojan nodded, his breath shaking even more and he felt like all his nerves were on edge.

"I don't want that either", he said, sneaking an arm around Jan’s neck, pulling him closer.

"I know you need time and that's okay", Jan said, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Bojan's mouth, gripping his hair a little tighter, grounding the smaller man, "I just hope you know we are there for you, always."

Instead of answering, Bojan leaned forward, connecting their lips in a gentle kiss. Jan made a soft noise, shifting closer and deepened the kiss a bit, parting his lips and letting his tongue trace over Bojan's, slipping inside as the shorter man pliantly opened his mouth with a little sigh.

A shiver ran through him, as he felt another pair of lips ghosting over his neck, first pressing chaste little kisses to his skin that soon turned into gentle bites, latching onto the little mole right under his jaw.

At another, harder bite, Bojan pulled back, panting as he turned his head to the side, catching Nace's dark eyes over his shoulder. A big hand came up, resting on his chin and turning him a bit more, pulling him into a kiss of their own.

"I love you", Bojan mumbled against the bassist's mouth, nibbling on the bottom lip as Nace started to grin. The older leaned more into the kiss, scooting closer, so Bojan had full body contact with both of his boyfriends. And the warmth made him shiver, goosebumps forming all over his body.

"I love you too", Nace chuckled before he leaned in even more, pulling Bojan into another kiss, albeit a shorter one. Then he leaned back, shifting even closer and rolling Bojan forward, so he was partially laying on Jan's chest, plastering himself to the smaller man's back, almost burying him under him, just how he knew Bojan liked it best.

With a content little sigh Bojan snuggled onto Jan's chest, feeling a hand in his hair, slowly lulling him to sleep, but before that, he lifted his head, a sleepy smile spreading over his face as he saw Nace press a little peck to Jan's lips, both looking beautiful, soft and warm and so full of love it almost made Bojan's heart burst.

Sleep caught him easily that night, no laying awake, waiting for the sun to rise, so they could go on, pretending nothing was going on, so people could continue to talk and hate them for being who they were.

No, this was all he needed, being held by the loves of his life, content and comfortable.

[mitamicah]

Two days ago I arrived home from the last of the See You Soon tour dates I will be attending and wow it was such a ride I have been pretty much walking in and out of existence and longingly daydreaming all day. So here’s my experience at the different gigs.

Tldr; Helsinki one was me in the seats – cozy first concert and bit of warmup for both me and the band – and Hojan!!; Helsinki two had much more energy and good vibes yet strict security made it so a few people had to almost faint before we got offered water… also I missed Jere by one and a half hours; Malmö was the one were I kept winning and I am still in awe this day even happened; Gothenburg was great especially for interactions between the members of the band although I wasn’t keen on the queue location.

Helsinki 1+2 I have decided to put these two together since they were at the same place and because I am very late to write this. I had seating tickets to the first show, so me and Anniina (@formulalakana) spend the day being käärijä city tourists in Vantaa. After that we went to Käbnb (I’d rented it for the weekend) and fanboyed some more over the apartment and wearing the bolero. Since the apartment was an hour away, we only just joined the queue right before opening of general entry at 5.50.

The show was great. If I am asked to describe it with one word, I’ll chose cozy which might seem like an odd word to use about a Joker Out show. In my defense I had been up since 4 am and had a whole day behind me of getting excited over käärijä stuff (also since I was staying at käbnb). I loved hearing the new songs (Sta Bih Ja and Bluza) live together with seeing Hojan join the encore. I was glad we got Metulji so we could use the cute little butterflies we got from people at the queue to hold up in the air (it was really quite pretty from the back). I remember thinking how Jan must’ve been warm in his furcoat on stage and that I appreciated the little hints back to Stozice with the outfits like Nace’s leg chain.

Tbh I mostly just took this gig as a warmup where I filmed lots of the songs and took in the vibe, now that I couldn’t really jump around myself. The guys might have needed time to get back into touring because I talked with some people yesterday that agreed that the band had been great if a little held back on the first day.

On the second day I joined the queue around 10.10. It was amazing meeting up with old and new faces. Everybody got so excited about being gifted stickers that I ran out a few hours before lining up for the queue started. In turn I got so many nice wristbands as well I think I managed to beat the record of most bracelets gifted to me in a day which had been Berlin previously.

Today’s vibe was completely different; there was way more energy from the stage and from the crowd, the latter possibly because I was in the pit this time, four rows from the stage. I had decided to wear my häärijä suit for the occasion together with a little Danish flag that I kept waving in the air. I was with a strong Nace girlie so we had placed ourselves by Nace and Jan. She got a few genuine smiles and nods from the bassist.

Katrina was a good opening song and while I haven’t listened much to Galaxy of Me/Behind Those Eyes/Schlager since hearing it live I remember enjoying it quite nicely. Padam was gorgeous as a piano ballad! Nace looked adorable in his glasses and holed blouse, and I enjoyed Kris’ outfit a lot. However the pit did get quite hot at one point so a few people around seemed to be feint and the security guards didn’t want to give us water until we directly cried out for help then they suddenly wanted to give us all the water we could muster. Other than that the experience was great! I felt my stomach drop hard at one point and I realized it was because Bojan’s eyes were locked with mine for solid five seconds. I loved that we got Kris bullied into singing NVGOT for the encore.

I felt almost as a celebrity when people complemented my häärijä cosplay (or Dojan as somebody later called me; the Danish Hojan). I even got asked for an autograph where I had to break it to them that I wasn’t the “real deal” yet they still wanted the autographs for the funsies.

After the concert a good portion of people collected outside by the tourbus and played Everybody’s Waiting over and over. I joined for a time yet felt ambivalent about it all given I could imagine how intimidating it must be for the band seeing such a big group of people standing around like this. Anniina suggested we catch the last bus home around 0.30 and I agreed it was probably for the best. The bus at the Pasilla station didn’t want to open its doors for me although I stood with my face more or less on the door window so I had to wait for another less convenient bus that left me gliding and sliding on ice home for 1,5 km. That together with learning the next day that had I waited one and a half hours more I could’ve met not only Bojan and Jan, but Jere soured my mood a bit I must admit. I bought myself the 3xl käärijä shirt that was offered as a nightgown and went to gift Jere his little gift (Helsinki sticker and Bojere keychain) but got lost so I had to hand in the letter at the Warner Bros Studios instead of the käärijä fanmail box – for this reason I am not sure if Jere will ever get it sadly.

All in all some great concerts although what I think I mostly will remember this trip for was the amount of käärijä related firsts that I got (first time seeing the mural, first time tasting oddly good, first time trying on the bolero, you name it) together with the joker out firsts as well (first concert, first time hearing the new songs etc. etc.)

Trinkets from the Helsinki shows including doodle from @ya-boi-joule , wrapping paper @formulalakana was so kind to buy and safe for me, merch and the many lovely bracelets and stickers :D Not shown here are the cool sparklative pin that @hazzybat made (and the cute kangaroo keychain I also got from Haz) together with the homemade Bojan earring I've basically worn nonstop since xD

Malmö I had thought about adding the two Sweden shows together but honestly the vibes were too different for me to do so.

I had gotten early entry to Malmö, so I had probably put way too much weight on making this gig the best of the bunch. For this reason, I woke up at 4 so I could be at the venue around 9. I was met by the oddest and most chill queue I have ever seen. By now point were we more than 15-20 people present before the line was formed at 5. I had been fairly certain that the only of my many goals (x) I would be able to accomplish would be gifting all my stickers away but spoilers; that didn’t happen.

At soundcheck I managed to get second row in the middle between Bojan and Kris (very strategic of me since two of my goals were related to Bojan and Kris respectfully). Having told quite a few people in the queue about my dream of getting Bojan to see my sign I had so many eyes on me cheering me on that I didn’t hesitate to throw my silly sign in the air. Bojan hesitated even less and agreed immediately (I might do another post about the whole experience with the tattoo when I have it done). In return I gave him the pencilcase full of gift and he looked at it confused until he read the little sign and said with a smile ‘gifts :D’. So that was two of the goals I had been so scared I wouldn’t in a million years be able to accomplish and the show hadn’t even started. When he later got down to slide his hand over ours I ended up being the awkward boy in the room going for a handshake (don’t know what I was thinking tbh) so instead Bojan held his hand in mind so gently for like a minute and locked eyes with me. Safe to say I was on cloud nine after that soundcheck.

The energy that had been great in Helsinki day 2 was somehow even better in Malmö! The band was fully on and so were we in the crowd. Jure wore what looked like a simplified Stozice shirt aka just a harness with a diamond down his chest. Kris and Bojan complimented each other, one wearing blue pants and the other a blue shirt and then the other way around with white shirt and white pants.

We started out strong with Sunny Side of London which I honestly hadn’t expected given I hadn’t heard it in Helsinki at all (and I haven’t looked too much into the setlist of the other dates). But that was not all: We got the demoni scream!! And NVGOT!! Padam was gorgeous as a piano ballad yet again. Me and Bojan held eye contact while screaming the bridge to Bluza together. So many different versions of Umazane Misli was sung including a version from both the people next to me that I had bonded with in the queue!! (that made me go into proud dad mode and gave me tons of dopamine seeing them win as well). We even got Bojan rapping the chorus himself from the middle of the crowd!! Fittingly he was given a crown by a fan immediately after. My last piece of Bojan eye contact came during Novi Val where I have on video him looking for five seconds at my phone and tapping his mic to his chest which threw me off for a bit rushing to make him a heart back.

Honestly this whole show was peak to me already before leaving the venue. Yet as I’d been the whole day, I was a man with a mission and now the mission was to gift away the last stickers. This quest let me to talk to Hearts, the supporting act (these guys were chill and cool as well) together with accidentally be close by when Kiki came out with two free setlists where I then ran to get one of them. What I remember most vividly was everybody I showed the setlist too being annoyed at ASTP being replaced by Sta Bih Jah and fair.

We were a small group of people that met up afterwards just to chill. At this point I didn’t even know where the tour bus was, so I didn’t expect to see the guys at all. Yet at some point one pointed out Jan walking by and me high on everything that had already happened had no shame and shouted ‘great concert :D’ at him where his response was a ‘thank you :D’ back.

It turned out that not 20 minutes later I spied Bojan in the corner of my eye down the hill where we were standing and wanting to thank him for the tattoo I went down there. I gave him a tight hug shaking a bit from everything and we ‘are you’ed each other for what felt like 30 seconds to a minute. He told me that he recognized me from Helsinki in the yellow suit and at that point I was ready to melt then and there. Bojan was just so easy and lovely to talk to I can see why Jere and so many others fall for him.

Going back up to the rest of the folk we noticed Jan and Kris hanging out, but Kris had to go when I got there. Nace stayed and we got a long talk about his turtles which meant lots of new turtle lore. I loved feeling how great of a turtle dad he is from the way he was talking about them, and I felt connected to him in the way he too speaks a lot with his hands. After Nace Jan turned up to speak to us yet I had a bit of a harder time talking to him maybe because we both can be a bit distracted (me mostly by Jure standing in a colourful sweater and smoking by the tour bus). He agreed to us taking turns taking pictures and getting hugs which was nice.

On my way home from the venue I had to record all my experiences which turned into me babbling only semi sensical at a camera for almost 3 minutes letting my legs show me the way home. I was surprised to find I didn’t get lost. I was not at all surprised to see I was close to tears in the video footage.

Trinkets from Malmö including my sign and Bojan's handwriting, the setlist and more <3

Gothenburg I only arrived at 2 o’clock for the queue given the bus I’d been able to get from Malmö. It was a bit colder than yesterday and the queuing space way less cozy being a parking lot with the bus behind a caged fence and us just outside the fence compared to the nice little park with the tourbus out of sight in Malmö. I did manage to get a wave from a person I am pretty sure was Bojan (my stomach dropped like it did in Helsinki as well so I guess this is how I recognize Bojan from now on xD).

I began doodle a bit for people and getting back into the queue vibe when I noticed the time; I had to go throw my stuff at the hotel, so I had a place to sleep and because the venue had a bag ban. I managed to get lost and curse myself for not paying extra for a closer hotel when walking around the construction heavy central station. It turned out the hotel I’d booked was a boat which I find cool (and fitting given the whole titanic thing with Bojere).

Being lost I ended up going on a tiny side quest to ICA and buy the käärijä youghurt. It tasted pretty okay (I ate it in the queue later)! I prefer dreamy lemon tho (my breakfast in Helsinki). I arrived in the nick of time because just 20 minutes later the lines were formed. Now being forced to stand close to the fence we managed to catch glimpses of the fan running back and forth (especially Jure) but none of us said anything. One person I was with told me about Jure being cornered by a fan and forced to flee into the tourbus only to be followed and to be honest that story was the cherry on cake for me; the rest of the night I found myself being in overempathetic mode to the point of later masking and stepping away when being afraid of invading somebody’s space.

The concert was great especially when it comes to gifts given to the guys and the interactions between the guys as well. I especially loved Jance’s dance during Umazane Misli (that today were mostly Swedish versions) and Bojan gently caressing Kris’ cheek to get his attention. Jure also got some action going on with the two guitarists joining in on both sides of the drumset and Bojan vibing when Bluza was playing. I really enjoyed Kris and Jan in yellow especially Kris with blondes down his arms. Everybody got tons of sunglasses, Jan got a Teletubbies hairband, Kris a crown (he threw off real fast after just one song) and Jure got a few bracelets he gently took from the hands of the people in the crowd during Novi Val (that was the one time he seemed to get eye contact with us at all – I still felt very bad).

The setlist wasn’t too different from Malmö but with Gola replacing SSOL (nice full circle moment for me since Gola also opened my first ever JO show and the first on the whole tour aka Helsinki 1), Metulji replacing Padam, NVGOT being skipped, and Katrina moved up the setlist (maybe there were more changes but that is what I recall). I seemed to have tons of eye contact yet again with the Bojan even more than the other three days combined. And that was despite being a bit farther away this time almost at the edge by Kris yet pretty close to the barricade (third row) all things considered. Once again, he gently held my hand. This time it happened during the show where he let his hand jump over a (tiny) sea of other hands to rest his in mind and he winked at me. I had to happy stim after that which is oddly not something I do a lot at shows. When Mira next to me was invited to do her choreography for UM on stage I got another rush of dopamine (Idk why I get these proud father feelings for people I’ve only just meant; I was just so happy for her).

We were a group that hung out by the venue afterwards; it was bigger than Malmö but smaller than Helsinki 2. Still big enough that my overly sensitive empathy today felt bad for being there. At the same time, I wanted to cool my nerves down after being boosted with all that dopamine. As time went on I also grew stubborn and didn’t want to repeat Helsinki 2 where I had moved home too early.

When it looked like we’d only wave at the bus today, Nace came out to the cage to say hi. At first, he seemed uncomfortable especially with how he tensed up laughing. He loosened up seeing the amazing Joker Out inspired jackets some fans had made and almost gave them both a heart attack asking for pictures of the jackets.

After that he came out to us on the other side of the fence, and we talked about the silliest topics like what signature picture pose each member have (sadly I forgot to ask about Nace’s own go to pose). I gave him a very rushed doodle of himself doing Jan’s pose (I had cold hands and wouldn’t risk him going away) and he got so genuinely excited for it my heart melted a bit.

Jan also joined yet only after Nace had gone and just before me and some others were on our way home, so we sneaked back again to chat. He was wearing his scarf as a hat so of course I had to draw and gift him a doodle like that. He too seemed genuinely happy for it. We gushed about the new songs and spread the ‘come to Denmark’ propaganda (we were two danes amongst others). Today I felt it was easier to talk to Jan. He was very nice and polite and open. We went away after Jan had said goodnight so I don’t know if any other of the guys came out to say hello. I couldn’t argue with my sense of being the crazy fan stepping over an invisible line anymore (even after dad Nace had told me that – like yesterday – he would not chose to come out and say hi if he felt uncomfortable so I shouldn’t worry … right before then saying the most people-pleaser thing like ‘I felt bad for you waiting in the cold’ so I don’t know how to interpret the two messages I got there. I guess Nace is right tho; he himself knows best what he is comfortable with and after all we were all nice and respectful).

Trinkets including the tour shirt (finally got it after three attempts) and the k youghurt

Fun fact about the blue flower bracelet: It was thrown to me by a crew member after Hearts' set - I didn't know what he had but I nodded to him when he asked with his eyes if somebody wanted the thing and so I was pleasantly surprised to see how pretty a bracelet it is. I have no idea who it was originally meant for x'D