#love the design on this one reminds me of blue china

[hydreesia]

I adore the new underwater creatures in Fontaine omg I cannot shut up about them they are SO cute

Like look at them, I'm 90% sure these r sea slugs or based off sea slugs, because they very strongly remind me of the blue glaucus and cyerce elegans nudibranches. I'm so excited to see them in game, they look so cuddly even though they probably aren't....

more of me rambling abt fontaine creatures below vvv

And the jellyfish!! They look so squishy, and also they've got big dumbo octopus vibes bc of those ear flaps, it makes them look even cuter

The manta rays r also so cool.. the bottom two look matching and they kind of remind me of the divda rays in enkanomiya??

also omg look at the seahorses.. the big one lowkey reminds me a bit of a dragon as well, which reminds me of how a lot of dragons are depicted with pearls in China, and the eastern myth of how seahorses are actually baby dragons..

And the lil baby seahorses too!! I love how they look like they have little capes, and the variations in their designs make me think of other sea animals, such as the blue tang or the emporer angelfish for the two seahorses on the left, and a shark for the one on the right!

And them! They look like somebody combined seals with manatees and created these lil guys... They look extra friendly and soft n squishy

AND THE OTTERS... look at them!! They are so so adorable, but they also lowkey give me beaver vibes, probably because of their tail and maybe a little bit of how they're shaped? Either way they're quite charming and I hope that we can catch or befriend them cause <333

The gulls are just Neat <3 They look a lot less mean than real seagulls, like they're just some silly lil dudes. They also remind me of corvisquire and corviknight from pokemon a lil bit? But maybe that's just me

Lastly, the umbrellafinches are just adorable. You cannot tell me they don't look like those photos where people put flowers on the heads of little ducklings that make it look like they're wearing a cute little flower hat.

Actually a bonus if u actually decided to read lol, but I noticed these in the background of one of the shots from the livestream?

In the livestream the way they move is w/ undulating fins (think of how a cuttlefish's head fins move, or how stingrays do) which lead me to think that they're inspired by stingrays? Maybe even are some sort of stingray-adjacent thing? But tbh they also kind of remind me of nudibranches too with their pattern and the little horns on them so who knows... but oh man am I excited for them and all the other new lil creatures..

[distractivate]

Trivia (Wednes)day

Creators: give a “behind the scenes” look at one of your works. This could be things that got removed or changed, the origins of ideas/details, whatever you like!

Thanks to @smblmn​ for tagging me!

When I had a lot more free time than I do now, I often created digital models of the locations where my fics were set (AUs or outside of SC). My background is in design, so this activity was not totally out there for my interests, if still a bit unhinged lol. Making the model usually helps me percolate and develop details that find their way into the story. Making a model of the Rose Video store for The Last Rose Video gave me the idea that David would turn the adult video room into the community room that was a huge part of boosting the store's success. In Blackbird, Fly, the model of the bunker gave me the idea for David to use the service ramp as his own kind of meditation walk, which ended up opening the fic.

Normally the models aren't that pretty to look at, but I was really stuck on Good Winter, and I spent a lot of time avoiding writing modeling the Brewer Family fishing cabin and thinking about what objects Patrick could discover and ruminate about. It helped me brainstorm how those objects would tell the story of his emotional state, his family history, and his relationship with Rachel. I worked back and forth, from model to fic draft to model, adding details to both.

I vividly remember writing the excerpt below about Marcy and her dishes, which came to me so clearly while laying out the kitchen in the model.

Patrick nods and ponders that as he sits down next to him with their cups of tea. That’s maybe what he’s doing here. Finally.

“Are these antique?” David asks, studying the delicate blue floral pattern on the soft white china.

“I assume. They were my grandmother’s.”

“They’re fancy,” he says appreciatively, taking another sip.

His dad didn’t even question it when his mom unpacked the box of china that first summer after her mother died. He just turned fond and kissed the top of her head, and they spent summers eating fried fish on the same fine china she’d used for big family dinners since she was a girl. They’re so out of place here at the end of a very long road from nowhere to nowhere, but he loves them, loves the way his mother said yes to wilderness and no to being wild about it.

After his week here, he can see she was always doing that, adding touches to the cabin to soften it. His dad complained once about how fishing cabins were supposed to be rough, but just once. Patrick suspects he actually loves it.

The will to bend places to suit, instead of the other way around, is something he admires about David, too. Sometimes Patrick complains about how quickly they go through candles, but he loves walking into the bedroom, the Cedar and Suede reminding him of home and work and partnership in every sense of the word.

Anyway this is my one surefire way to kick writer's block, and I miss having more time to work this way.

Tagging @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3 @olive2read @icmezzo and anyone else who wants to join.

[bluepoodle7]

#Ackkstudios #YiikAPostmodernRPG #AlexEggleston #RememberThe90s #Y2KAesthetic #HumanPlush #Plushies #PlushPals

This is YIIK: A Postmodern RPG Alex Eggleston EMCEE/MC Plush from Ackkstudios and this game interested me.

I like the art style too this game's graphics and the reminds me of the Sega Dreamcast with the failed Nintendo 64DD also a sprinkle of Illbleed elements of weirdness.

This plush is pretty soft and well made and you can get one in the link below if there are any left.

I also like the custom bag it comes in. Apparently the Dev's can kiss this plush for a extra $1.00 which is the Earthbound quirk I like.

I missed when games took risks and just got cinematic and quirky with their game ideas.

I'm glad indie developers are taking up the slack that big game companies are to scared to make.

This game is getting a sequel game that adds more to the story and I hope it fleshes out Alex's other pals.

And I hope that the Devs can make Alex be employed with a work style mini game.

I remember seeing the Oney Plays and the Running Shine's videos on this game then got hooked on this series.

I might try to play YIIK I.V if it ever comes out.

The Two Brother's game to me feels is like the Blue Stinger and not as well known while Yiik: A Postmodern RPG is weird like Illbleed plus has a cult following.

I tried to put toy glasses on top of Alex's glasses for a glassesception but they were to big for him.

This plush is 10 inches from the top of the head to the foot.

This plush doesn't have a hang or tush tag which is strange but if you keep the bag it came with for authenticity then that will work just in case a China store might bootleg this plush.

I'm scared overtime the words on Alex's shirt and the mic picture texture might either peel or ware off over time is what I'm worried about.

This plush looks well made and I like the mic he is holding like a FNF character.

This plush looks like something a Etsy plush artist would make but the mic would have been plush instead of a hard cloth with a print design on it.

The art picture of Alex Eggleston looks like he is doing stand up similar to Seinfeld which is a show about nothing.

Also that new Velma show reminded me of Yiik so much.

Like the main character monologues about themselves, they both love another person, weird stuff happens, the main character becomes unlikeable in some ways.

But I like Alex more than Velma.

I'm keeping this plush and try to keep this mint.

ALEX EGGLESTON: EMCEE/MC PLUSH VER. (ackkstudios.com)

[p-taryn-dactyl]

this isn’t goodbye, it’s simply see you later I

a/n: hi everyone! okay i know i said that this series idea was going to come later but i really felt like writing it now lol, i hope you enjoy!

word count: 1.3k

warning(s): break up - angst - “period drama” idk if that actually applies lol - the actually running into each other at the market doesn’t really happen in this part, this is mainly angsty backstory - all mistakes are my own

prompt: agatha breaks up with you in the late 1800s because she can’t handle the idea of you dying. little does she know that you’re also immortal. years, years, and years later, you both run into each other in a market

part one: the end

Agatha prided herself on her power, her determination towards her goals. Over the years, she never once let herself get distracted from her plan.

Until you.

You came into her life five years ago, a whirlwind of energy and light that she never wanted to see go out. You were a beacon of hope in times that foretold darkness ahead. And yet, even with the dazzling display of love you showed her everyday, Agatha found herself letting you go.

—————————————————————————————————

Excitement coursed through your system as you smoothed out the fabric of your dress, the light blue silk reminding you of your home in Italy with the giant courtyard and grapevines growing over the ledges. Your father had sent you this dress all the way from Naples, with letters filled with the gossip of unification of the many kingdoms of your homeland. Though your stays weren’t tight against your ribs, you still felt light of breath. Her visitation always made you like this, all light headed and giddy.

“Ma’am?”

The soft voice of Sofie, your handmaiden, broke you out of your daze. You smiled at the young woman, urging her to speak.

“Donna Harkness is here.”

She eyed the tea tray you had set up yourself and you flushed slightly at her jokingly judgmental gaze.

“I tried my best! You know, squeezing an orange isn’t easy nor is boiling water…” You mumbled out the last part but Sofie still heard, laughing under her breath as she bumped her arm into yours reassuringly.

“You did great, Y/N.”

You took a deep breath before nodding at Sofie, silently telling her to let Agatha into the tea room. As your handmaiden walked away, you noticed one of the tea cups on the tray was crooked and you rushed over to adjust its position. But every way you turned the cup, it didn’t match up to how you wanted it. Huffing, you glared at the tea cup, your movements becoming slightly hostile.

“Fighting with the china, now are we?”

The voice of your girlfriend startled you and the fine cup fell to the tray with a clatter, thankfully and surprisingly not shattering. Your eyes widened at Agatha’s dress, a flowing deep purple accenting her waist with a neckline that made blood rush up to your face. Her stomacher was innately designed, pictures of doves and dahlias stitched meticulously into the stiff fabric. You brushed a stray curl out of your face as you smiled at her, coming to stand in front of Agatha, her hands instinctively resting on your waist. You both did the ceremonial kisses on the cheek before kissing on the lips slowly, savoring the intimate moment. It didn’t bother you that Agatha seemed to be holding back, you assumed she had a tiring day. Pulling away, you sent her one more bright smile before turning to grab the tea tray to move it onto the floor. You didn’t see Agatha’s smile fall, how the sparkle in her eyes dimmed when your back turned. But when you faced her once more, her mask was back on.

“So,” you started, sitting on the floor gracefully. It was one of yours and Agatha’s traditions to partake in tea time on the ground, one of your many ways to scandalize the rules of society, “What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

Prior to your date, Agatha had sent a letter, seemingly urgent, saying she had an important matter to discuss. While she sat down across from you, her exquisite dress flowing around her, your heart beat rapidly. Excitement was so tightly curled in your chest, you were afraid you would burst. You knew it wasn’t accepted or practiced in the open, but you were hopping for a proposal of marriage. Something that would solidify your future with the woman you loved. Your father could carry out the ceremony, his support for you never wavering, you could wear your mothers dress, your brothers could walk you down the aisle, you-

“Y/N!”

Agatha’s sudden sharp tone snapped you out of your daydream and you looked at her with wide eyes, tea cup paused midway from the saucer to your lips. She had never used a tone of such with you before. It made you want to curl into yourself. Agatha saw the confusion and slight hurt in your eyes and softened, reaching a hand out to hold yours.

“You…drifted there for a moment, my dear,” her expression looked pained and all thoughts of marriage flew out of your mind. You grasped Agatha’s hand, your thoughts running rampant in your mind.

“Darling, you look frightful! Oh god, are you sick? Is this what you wanted to tell me?”

Panic overtook you but Agatha’s steady hand on your shoulders grounded you. She was shaking her head in reassurance before she seemed to realize something. Removing her hands from you, she folded them in her lap before clearing her throat and looking at you with an intense expression.

“I wanted to tell you that I wish to end our…companionship.”

Her words were like someone dumped ice water all down your spine, causing you to scramble to your feet, your chest rising and falling with increasing anger. Agatha was quick to follow you.

“Why would you- what did I do?”

You spoke in broken words, your mind replaying every encounter you had with Agatha in the past few months. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, your relationship was as healthy and thriving as it ever was, further fueling your confusion and panic at Agatha’s words.

“Oh honey, no, you didn’t-”

Agatha’s sweet, comforting tone following such a harsh request made you snap, bringing your clenched fists up to your forehead.

“Then why?”

Your scream startled Agatha, who brought her arms out to comfort you but you swatted them away. Tears gathered in your eyes as you laughed at yourself, your tone dark and full of self criticism.

“If I did nothing wrong then why-? Oh my,” your laugh concerned Agatha, who crept closer to you with every broken noise that came from your lips. She never wanted to be the cause of your pain, she never wanted this. It almost broke her. But to see you on your death bed, your skin wrinkled with age or sickness while she sat by you, young as ever, forced to watch as the life faded out of you, that would truly break her. So to save her heart, she had to break yours.

“I thought you wanted to marry me.”

Your choked whisper was like a dagger to Agatha’s heart, long conversations of your future together while strolling through a park played in her mind. She bowed her head, keeping her pained expression hidden from you as she choked out thick lies.

“You were wrong.”

There was a deafening silence stretched between you before-

“Get out.” You seethed, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from sobbing.

“Y/N, I-”

“Get. Out!”

You picked up a handful of the dates you had selected for the tray and threw them at your former lover, tears breaking through, spilling down your face. Agatha gave you one last forlorn look before she quickly ran out of your house. You collapsed on your floor, clutching your hands together over your heart, your broken heart. Sofie came running in, kneeling beside you. Her hand rubbed in soothing circles on your back as you physically felt broken.

“I don’t know what happened,” you cried out, leaning against your friend, “I don’t know what I did wrong.”

——————————————————————————————————-

Agatha knew she was a spectacle, running through the streets in her fine dress, tears streaming down her face. She made it to her small cottage on the outside of town, leaning against the wall of her entry way, trying to calm down her rapid breathing.

She ended it with you.

She broke your heart.

With a snap of her fingers, Agatha was changed into a more casual, comfy dress before she made her way to her bedroom, where her bag was already packed.

She needed to leave this place, this village, before she found her way back into your arms, into your light.

a/n: well, first chapter out!! Yay!! I hope you enjoyed reading, chapter 2 will be out this week and, tell me, how do you think the reunion is going to go? See you next time, post-WandaVision timeline with a little bit of insight into Y/N’s background!

[mrs-perfectly-fine]

padmé’s funeral outfit:

𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚, 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙪𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡

if you missed my previous ones, here they are:

summer meadow outfit

wedding outfit

my favorite padmé outfits

parade outfit

geonosis outfit

battle outfit

tatooine peasant disguise

^ BTS of RotS funeral scene

yep! i am analyzing padmé’s funeral dress, otherwise know as the water gown. this scene in the movie is so emotional, and it is definitely with the help of this powerful ensemble.

after her death, padmé is escorted through the mourning crowds of naboo, her home. the floating casket, along with the flowing blue robes and carefully placed wildlife, create a sense of floating in water, hence the water gown.

pictures above are the design concepts for the water gown, done by the amazing ian mccaig. this piece was one of his favorites, quoting “this was my favorite painting that i’ve ever done for the whole prequel trilogy. i was there when padmé was born as a character, and now I was burying her. the flowers are tears”.

the beautiful natalie portman also loved this dress, as it reminded her of ophelia, a character in shakespeare’s hamlet. “it’s really, really beautiful. i think trisha (the designer) wanted to get an ocean sense. someone said to me that it was very ‘ophelia.’ with the flowers and the hair, it does look like i’m drowning.” both ophelia and padmé have a sadness about them, one that is represented throughout their clothes as well as their faces.

the material of the bodice is smocked, which was developed in england and fashionable during the middle ages, especially for middle class families. It was both fitting and flexible, making it useful for laborers. in this outfit, it is dyed different waves of blue, again looking for the oceanic feel. it is very finely smocked, with lots of layers to create a full skirt.

the skirt is made of silk organza, originated from china and traded along the silk road. the extremely thin fabric was created by spreading the silk to spider web thinness, and then dyed with an ombré effect of blues and purples.

the cloak is made from velvet fabric with a watery, ocean pattern. velvet was made popular in the victorian era, especially in cloaks and dresses. the dark hues of purple and blue, with the look of the sea at twilight.

throughout the cloak, dark, vintage sequins are sewn. they create a chameleon effect, meaning that the colors change as the dress moves downs. some areas, such as the collar and bands running down the cloak, yet again creating waves in the ensemble.

in her hair, padmé has star of bethlehem’s scattered, which represent innocence, purity, honesty, hope, and forgiveness, common themes associated with the kind padmé character. there are also strands of ribbon in her hair, with the same hues from the dress. the effect created by these flowers is truly beautiful.

finally, the metaphor of all of this look is so amazingly displayed. the sense of floating in water is a reminder of the lake in naboo, where anakin and padmé fell in love. anakin, at this point, is being reborn in fire as darth vader, while padmé returns to the lake where she was so very happy with the love of her life. chefs kiss, y’all.

what a beautifully designed and executed piece, worn perfectly by the beautiful natalie portman. such a moving scene and a perfect ending for the gorgeous padmé skywalker.

𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙨, 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬! 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜! 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙨!

[english8muffin]

Vogue morning routine

Y/N Y/N/L’s guide to effortless natural makeup

Summary: you are asked to do the Vogue Beauty Secrets video and your two boys decide to join the party

Word count: around 2000

Warning: none, just pure floof!

I apologize in advance if there are any spelling and/or grammar mistakes, English is not my first language (+ this is my very first fic)

HEADLINE Henry Cavill’s new girlfriend, designer Y/N Y/L/N reveals her everyday morning routine in recent Vogue video: Y/N Y/L/N shows off her secrets to the perfect fusion of European and Asian beauty.

You stood in the spacious bathroom of the hotel room, only wearing a big, fluffy, white robe, that was actually Henry’s. But since the man was in the gym, you took the opportunity to lend it and bathe yourself in his musky smell, that calmed your nerves. Last night you started panicking, thinking you would probably look stupid for the entire world to see, luckily Henry and Kal tried to calm you down with cuddles and kisses.

This was the first ‘interview’ you would do, being such a young, successful entrepreneur really caught the attention of the media. When you first started your small online shop, you never would have thought you would end up here. Five years later, with a steady income, the job you always wished for and the man you had a crush on since the first time you laid eyes on him. Being a creative, it really made your heart soar with happiness, seeing all your products, your babies, in new homes where they would make others happy.

You were really proud of yourself. Henry was as well, and he made sure you and everybody around you knew. You were apprehensive at first, being with such a well known actor, who was also much older than you, it made you nervous of what people would say, what the media would say. You didn’t want to tarnish Henry’s image. You knew there were people with a much bigger age gap, but still, people were ruthless. So you both decided to take it slow, being careful with going out in public and social media posts.

You stand in front of the large mirror, which had a camera attached to it and open up your makeup bag. Right before you went into the bathroom, you made yourself a nice cup of tea, trying to stay calm. “Hi! I’m Y/N and today I am going to show you my everyday makeup routine,” you say with a smile, “I am not a dermatologist so please don’t take what I say too seriously.”

You grab a small white washcloth and hold it up, so it was in the frame, “First, I am going to wash my face and put on a few drops of serum,” You dampen the cloth and wipe it over your face and neck. You put a few drops in the palm of your hand and pat them into your skin. “Now I going to use my jade roller to massage the serum into my skin. It’s quite funny seeing so many people use these nowadays. In ancient China they were mostly used by the elite to keep there skin ageless. They would call jade the Stone of Heaven. It’s really helpful for the people who wake up with a puffy face like me,” you chuckle.

Somethimes you’d wake up with puffy cheeks, which led to Henry calling you his chubby bunny in the morning.

“Just a quick tip, and this is for everybody, make sure you always use SPF. I personally use SPF 30 and this one is shine control, since I tend to get an oily skin, but you can also use a regular one or a foundation with SPF in it. Believe me when I say your skin will be thankful.”

You grab the small tube of sun cream and show the amount you’ll use. You even convinced Henry to wear SPF everyday. At first he said he didn’t think it would make such a big difference, but when he realised you were going to be the one to put it on him, he was convinced about its benefits and adamant to wear it everyday. After working the thick cream into your skin, you put on some lipbalm and rummage through the pouch in front of you. When you find the product you’re looking for, you hold it up. “Now, I am going to put on a bit of concealer, this one is from Maybelline. After this, I will use a lighter shade under my eyes and on my acne scars that I have here,” you point and circle around the small cluster of scars on the sides of your cheeks.

Before blending out the concealer, you smile at the lens and put in two bright yellow hairclips, to keep your dark locks from falling into your face. “I probably should have done this at the start,” you laugh. The nerves creeping up a little. It wasn’t that you where a shy person, but knowing thousands of people will watch this, did something to you. You were always a very easygoing person, who could talk with pretty much everybody. But knowing people were going to watch you do something so intimate in a way, and would probably comment on it, scared you a little. While you would be 100% yourself, doing something as mundane as getting ready. If they didn’t like you now, then they probably won’t like you later. And that was what made you so afraid.

The bathrobe falls a bit down your shoulder, but you ignore it, since your hair fell down your shoulders in big waves. “Okay, brows. I used to block them in really dark when I was younger, but now I try to keep a light hand. I’ll use this Got 2B Glued as a brow gel afterwards. The tails of my eyebrows tend to move if I don’t use a strong enough gel. If you’re Asian you will understand the struggle.”

You quickly finish your brows, put some bronzer on your face and eyelids and take out your liquid eyeliner. “Am I the only one that acts like I’m a beauty guru whenever I do my makeup? Like, I’m just acting as if I’m used to this, right now, but to be honest, I was really nervous to do this video for Vogue,” you admit, “they will probably regret asking me,” you chuckle. You finish your eyemakeup with curling your long lashes, thanks to your mother’s genes, and add a coat of mascara.

You take in a deep breath, excited to show everyone the product you had been waiting for. “The next thing I am really proud to show you guys, because I designed the packaging. This is the new limited edition blush and highlighter palette from Dior, which they created for Lunar New Year!” You beam with pride, holding up the elegant looking palette. It had a darker toned glossy finish and the borders were the traditional Chinese looking frames, which were 3D and were surrounded by a wild variety of peonies. In the middle of the lid was your Chinese calligraphy in big golden brush stokes that said ‘year of the Ox’, the clasp was designed so it resembled an antique Chinese coin and on the side hung a jade charm.

“You can pre-order this palette now, I think they will put a link-thingy in de description. I wish you all a happy and blessed Lunar New Year, 祝农历年新年快乐牛年大吉!”

Just as you’re about to add some blush to your cheeks, the bathroom door creaks open and a curly-headed, sweaty Henry pops his head in. Fresh from the gym, and were you thankful for his new intense workout, because he was truely a sight to behold. A cheeky smile graces his handsome face when he spots you in front of the mirror, only wearing his robe, which made his grin widen.

“what are you doing in here? Are you hiding from me? Playing hide and seek is it?” he teases and rakes his large hand through the tousled curls, but just as he’s done speaking, he sees the camera behind you, and blushes. “Oh, I didn’t know you were filming, I’m sorry darling,” he smiles and gives a small wave in the direction of the camera. You led out a giggle, cheeks turning red already, if he’d keep this up, you wouldn’t need to add blush. You couldn’t focus anymore, he looked so attractive, only wearing his black gym shorts and a tight dark blue tank top. Damn that camera, otherwise you would have jumped him. Henry, thought the exact same thing. Seeing you, only wearing his robe and your hair still a bit wild from this morning’s cardio, made him hold back a moan. Those two cute, yellow clips in your hair could have fooled him, because you were anything but innocent.

Before he’s about to close the door again, he blows you a kiss. But his actions are stopped when a big bear makes his appearance. Bolting past his dad’s legs, Kal comes into the bathroom. Henry tries to catch him but misses. The black and white akita excitedly sniffs his head around the sink, trying to see what you were up to with all the stuff lying on the marble counter.

“Kal!” Henry whisper-yelled, trying to stay hidden behind the door. But you could still see his massive body crouched down behind the wood. It was rather funny, seeing the large man so panicked about getting his dog to listen. It kind of reminded you of that one video from BBC were a professor was being interviewed and his baby and nanny showed up in the background. While Henry tried to get Kal’s attention, the dog just sat next to your legs, and smiled when you pet him behind his ear. He was your good boy.

You both knew there was no other option but to keep Kal here, once he saw you do your makeup, he wanted to watch and get his ‘makeup’ done as well.

Henry also saw the look in Kal’s eyes and let out a sigh. Might as well stay with his two loves. He stood up from his position and walked to you, wrapping his sweaty but oh so save body around your figure, and placed a prolonged kiss on the exposed skin just by your shoulder. So far for taking it slow… He pressed himself thighter against your back, hiding his face in the crook of your neck and intertwined your hands, slowly rocking you two back en forth. “You look beautiful, my love,” he whispered, so only you could hear it, at least you hoped the camera wouldn’t pick that up. You let out a little giggle, like the inner schoolgirl you were whenever he was around you.

“Kal loves when Y/N does his makeup as well, don’t you boy,” Henry explains with a smile and looks down at the bear by your bare feet. Kal gives a small ruff and sweeps his tail eagerly. “Did you show them what you made,” he asked you with a wide smile, and looked straight in to the camera, “she worked really hard on that design, so I hope you all like it,” he declared proudly.

You ended up doing your makeup routine with your two boys in the background. Henry left for a few minutes to shower in the second bathroom your hotelroom had, and came back clad in a pair of light jogging trousers and a sweater. Even though you were inside, it was still a bit too chilly to walk around in short sleeves, being mid-winter and all. He just sat on the small wooden bench by the door, still in frame for everybody to enjoy and behold. His hair now damp. He was reading in a book and patiently waiting for you to get ready, occasionally looking up and laughing when you would wet your hands or Kal’s special makeup brush in the sink and pretend to do his makeup. The dog would bark excitedly and give you kisses. “Wow Kal, you look so pretty,” Henry told the big floof with the chuckle.

“Okay, this was my -somewhat- everyday makeup routine! Thank you guys for watching this chaotic mess, hope you laughed a bit, bye-bye, 再见!” How do those vlogger end their videos? Smash like and subscribe?

Behind you Henry looked up from the pages of his fantasy book and arched his brow, “Hey! No shout-out for your special guests? See you all next time!”

WOOHOO!! This is my very first fanfic, I really hope you enjoyed it. Liking, reposting and commenting would mean a lot to me! If you do repost this, please do not edit or copy my work. I worked really hard on this.

Much love, Nahmi xxx

Masterlist can be found HERE!

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[thedistantdusk]

Arcadia, Chapter 1

My submission for the 2021 Hinny birthday challenge for the HG discord! Thanks to Liza for organizing, to @accio-broom for the Brit-pick, to @secretkeeper13 for the beta, and to anyone else who helped (I'm probably forgetting a few folks, apologies).

The challenge theme this year was content based on TV! This is an (extremely loose) X-Files AU, but you absolutely don’t need to be familiar with X-Files to understand this :D

TW (spoilers): swearing, references to (severe) mental health concerns, (eventual) consensual relations

___________________________________________________________

D A Y  + O N E

The woman probably finds herself charming as she stands in their driveway, her hands clasped in frozen excitement.

But Ginny just finds her creepy.

Really fucking creepy.

Harry drops hired car into first gear as they pull in. This woman— the head of the village council, Ginny reckons, the one she spoke to on the phone— wears perfectly-pleated Chino pants with a lavender jumper draped across her shoulders.

Her attire is standard for a posh village… especially a new-build village, one with a covenant and loads of stupid rules. It’s the woman’s eerie, opened-mouthed grin that shoots a chill up Ginny’s spine.

Her stark white teeth glint in the sun, but her smile doesn’t move an inch… and the longer Ginny stares, the more unsettled she grows. The only thing larger than her grin is the mane of yellow hair that surrounds her face like an ersatz halo.

Harry clears his throat as he turns off the car; Ginny realizes this is the first sound either of them has made since leaving London.

Awkward.

She reaches for her door handle, but the random woman gets to it first.

“You must be Jenny and Henry!” she shrieks, yanking on Ginny’s shoulders before she’s even unbuckled. “Oh, sorry! Love, do let me get the strap!”

Ginny’s on her feet and pressed to the stranger’s perfumed bosom before she has a chance to tell her she can manage just fine herself, thanks.

“Lovely to meet you in person!” the woman cries, nearly shaking with enthusiasm. It’s not until Ginny’s returned a weak squeeze that the vice-like grip around her middle weakens.

Rubbing her aching shoulder, she sneaks a glimpse at Harry; while she fought for air, he apparently climbed out of the car, only to stare at the two of them like a deer in the headlights. Now his elbow’s at an awkward angle, his hand behind his back, which could only mean one thing: he’s reaching for the wand in his back pocket.

Shit.

Ginny shakes her head and hopes her eyes convey what her lips can’t: She’s just a standard Muggle weirdo. Relax.

“I’m Jane. Jane Connors. In the flesh!” The woman (whose voice Ginny now finds painfully familiar) throws her hands in the air and twirls on the spot. “I take it you’re Jenny and Henry Petri!”

Harry interrupts with a booming chuckle before Ginny says a word; in three quick steps, he’s wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “That’s Pee-tri, actually. Like the dish,” Harry— Henry— adds with a wink. “And speaking of dish…” His eyes travel over Ginny, his voice going all deep and silky.

She bites back a shudder, hating the way her stomach drops as his fingers graze her arm. All that keeps her grounded is knowing the truth: Harry’s good at his job, nothing more. The only reason he’s suddenly become a skilled actor is that his career demands it.

Hers does too, she reminds herself firmly. And if she has any intention of successfully completing her first solo mission, she needs to get her shit together. Now.

Ginny blinks up at Harry, appropriately sobered; his eyes glimmer with mirth. As suspected, he’s only doing his job. Touch is just part of the assignment description. He has no way of knowing what it does to her— because really, truly, it shouldn’t.

And maybe if she keeps telling herself that, it’ll eventually come true.

Harry winks at Jane, tugging Ginny against his side. “My new wife and I had a long journey from the city! We were hoping to get some alone-time before tucking in, I’m sure you understand.”

Jane looks puzzled. “You— but it’s 5:43!” An uncomfortable giggle burbles from her lips. “You must be moved in by 6. Surely you’ve read the covenant rules?”

“Erm… may have missed that one,” Ginny lies. “There’s quite a few, see. We’re used to—”

But Jane shoves her fingers into her mouth, cutting her off with an ear-piercing whistle. Just as quickly, another chill races up Ginny’s spine. People up and down the street emerge from their semi-detached homes and race towards them, their faces in downcast unison.

They’ve all been watching. Waiting for the signal. Ready.

Ginny’s not sure how long ago the Department of Mysteries delivered the moving van and left it on the street, but the horde of random people aren’t fussed with the details, either. Within five seconds of Jane’s whistle, the strangers throw open the back door and begin an unloading process that reeks of military precision.

“Here’s the house key!” trills Jane, pulling it from her pocket. “Oh, and Petris!” She turns to Harry and Ginny, wagging her finger. “I’ll also need a copy of your car key, ASAP. We’re firm believers in the buddy system here in Arcadia.” She returns her attention to the stone-faced neighbors, who are now scurrying to the door. “This way, friends— right this way!”

“I— that’s really unnecessary,” Ginny says, bewildered, as people rush inside their new house, boxes in arms. “We’re perfectly able to—”

“Nonsense!” cries a man with grey sideburns as he takes a box from the back. “We’re neighborly here. You’d better get used to it.”

“Yes!” chimes another voice. A chubby man wearing a Polo and a golden necklace emerges from behind the lorry, hurrying up the walk. “We’re like a family here. We all— oh no!” He lets out a startled cry as a box labeled FINE CHINA topples from his arms and lands on the pavement with a thump.

He rushes towards it, face falling, but Ginny’s main concern is the box’s silent descent; she runs over, making a mental note to have a word with the designer of these props. Would something noisy and fragile have killed them? For fuck’s sake...

“Sorry,” the man says with a pained wince. ���I’m just so clumsy. I-I promise, I’ll—”

“It’s fine,” Ginny soothes, dropping to her knees. “Don’t worry, really. We aren’t too big on dishes.”

Maybe if she keeps him talking, he won’t realize it’s bloody empty. Seriously, this is amateur shit. Luckily, he’s too distracted to notice.

The man offers a sheepish smile. “I’m Mike. Mike Snodgrass. You may have seen Mike and Jess in the resident guide, but erm…” He trails off, sadness in his voice.

Ginny cocks her head to feign confusion, but of course she’s familiar with Jess Snodgrass, 25, reported missing last November. Her photo’s been on Ginny’s desk for almost as long. Even now, Jess appears in Ginny’s mind with such startling clarity that she can almost see her beside Mike... all 5 feet of her, with curly red hair, bright blue eyes, and a lopsided grin.

Jess Snodgrass… Arcadia’s third missing person. The first to disrupt the couples-only disappearance pattern.

Mike shrugs. “But erm… it’s just me now,” he repeats. “I’m a primary teacher at Saint Julian’s, just up the road.” He nods to his left. “So if you’ve got any homework or school questions, give me a ring!” He pastes on a smile that doesn’t match his eyes; it’s an expression with which Ginny’s well-acquainted.

“I’ll have to remember that, Mike Snodgrass,” Ginny says, shaking his hand.

She immediately regrets it.

Seeing Mike Snodgrass on paper is one thing, but touch makes him human. His hand feels big and warm, his smile earnest and sweet; he reminds her so strongly of Neville that her stomach aches. Ginny breathes through her nose and focuses on the way his necklace — a medallion of Saint Julian, appropriately enough — sparkles in the sun.

“Like I said, I’m all alone,” Mike repeats, offering his hand to help her up. “If you ever need anything, Jenny, don’t hesitate to ask!”

Ginny taps her chin. “Actually, I do have a question! I reckon it’s just a rumor, though. You don’t have to confirm or deny.” She winks at him and leans in as a woman in a fleece jumper rushes past.

Mike’s smile widens, his face brightening… and ah fuck, that one hurts, because she’s about to break his heart.

“Mike…” Ginny murmurs, studying his expression. The more she says his name, the less he reminds her of Neville; she wants to keep it that way. “With everyone being so bloody hospitable here, how come there are so many disappearances?”

Mike stops bobbing. His smile vanishes as quickly as the former occupants of Jenny and Henry’s new home. When Ginny looks back into his eyes, her gut plummets with a sensation of wretched familiarity.

Because she expected sadness on his face… the same type she saw when he mentioned Jess’ name. Sadness she can deal with; sadness is painful, but she sees it all the time.

She sees something worse, though.

Fear.

And not day-to-day fear. This isn’t like hating needles or avoiding clown movies. Mike’s face is filled with the sort of wide-eyed, gripping, primal terror that seizes your insides in a vice. This is how you’d feel if your entire family were held captive in a dungeon, and a single word to the wrong person would spell their deaths.

Or how you’d feel if your ex-boyfriend were the corrupt government’s most desired fugitive… and you still fancied him very much, indeed.

“I… n-no idea,” Mike finally stutters, blinking. Then he sucks in a deep breath through his nose, his expression brightening again.

“So what do you and Henry do for work?” he asks in a booming voice, his grin now unnaturally wide. “We’ve got a carpool to the city if you’re interested. Reducing our carbon footprint is of utmost importance here in Arcadia!” He finishes by spreading his hands in each direction before placing them on his hips, that shit-eating grin still plastered across his face.

In another life, Ginny might’ve laughed. There certainly would have been a lot to cackle over, if she had the luxury of easy laughter. After all, she may as well be living in an am-dram nativity performance, complete with an overeager Joseph beckoning her to the stables after her harrowing desert journey.

Now, though, his reply only fills her with sad, professional detachment. Because fucking hell, how much did this poor man rehearse to get that line right?

She takes pity on him and snaps the bait. “My husband and I work from home,” she says, matching his volume. Someone’s clearly listening; it’s the least she can do. “You won’t see us out much.” Ginny brings the box to her hip. “And seriously, don’t worry about replacing the dishes, either. We mostly do takeaway.”

“No, let me bring you new ones,” Mike insists, his eyes pleading. “Tomorrow? Would that be—”

“What is this?” a voice demands from the back of the truck. Ginny peers around Mike’s shoulder. The man with the gray sideburns stares inside the lorry with a look of disgust.

“A trampoline!” Harry says, stepping aside as another neighbor races past. “We’re thrilled to put it in the garden, aren’t we, Jenny Cakes?”

Jenny Cakes. Is he fucking serious? Two can play at this game, prat.

“Indeed we are, Hen,” she croons, leaning into his side. “Jen and Hen.” She heaves a dreamy sigh and stares into his eyes. “We even rhyme!”

“Rhyming or not, this isn’t allowed,” the man barks, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’d have to apply for a special exemption with Mr Gogolak, but in the meantime…” He checks his watch. “5:53. Seven minutes. It’ll have to go in the garage tonight. I’m Oliver, by the way— Oliver Skinner.”

Harry gives him a theatrical scowl. “I’d say nice to meet you, but those who are enemies of trampolines are generally enemies of mine.”

Ginny bites the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, but Oliver remains unamused. He raises his pointer finger as if to say something, but Harry gets there first.

“Onnnnly kidding!” Harry winks and claps his shoulder. “Hope we can be fast friends, Oliver.”

Oliver just glares back. “Count on it.”

_______________________________________________________

Ginny’s taking this whole thing very seriously. Not that Harry blames her.

Her voice echoes against the walls of the empty home as she paces around the sitting room, her camera flipped outward to record.

Despite his five-year Auror career, Harry has no real concept of what Unspeakables do. Which, he supposes, is by design. He knows they… know things. Secret things. Things you’d be happier not knowing. He also knows that Kingsley isn’t fond of them. Or perhaps it’s Attica Monkstanley, Ginny’s boss, who King dislikes in particular. Attica’s famous for her refusal to disclose anything — ever. This ranges from potential terrorist plots to her favorite type of sandwich. Thus, Attica isn’t particularly popular. After a career built on helping absolutely no one outside her department, the request for Auror backup on an undisclosed, top-secret endeavor went over about as well as a hippogriff stampede in a posh tea room.

Harry sighs at the blank walls of their would-be living room. King’s in charge now. Big in charge. He or Robards were the obvious choices to accompany Ginny — sorry, Unspeakable GW — on this mission, but when you’re Big In Charge, you call the shots. The shot King called was to pass the assignment to Robards, who in turn passed it to Harry; Robards decided he didn’t need to (direct quote) “take off a week from pre-existing assignments for some fake marriage, new-build village bullshit in the arse-end of Muggle nowhere.”

Admittedly, Harry’s in a bit of a lull at the moment. He’d been assigned to track and recover Yaxley, but that trail went cold on the border of Romania. Harry’s certain he’s just beyond their reach, maybe hiding in a cave, but seeing as how Harry’s not Big In Charge, his opinion doesn’t exactly matter.

Which is precisely how he’s found himself in this bland house in the village of Arcadia, pretending to be married to his ex-girlfriend… who, incidentally, he’s still hopelessly infatuated with, even five years after he ended things.

Because Harry Potter is nothing if not pathetic.

There’d been no realistic way to decline the assignment, though. Not that he’d tried. Seriously, imagine explaining that to your boss: “Mm yeah, sorry King, I can’t do my job because I still wank to the memory of Unspeakable GW riding my—”

Ginny’s narration jerks him from his thoughts. “It’s 6:15 PM on our first day of the assignment,” she dictates into her phone. “Auror Potter and I are secured in the home, posing as Muggle couple Jenny and Henry Petri.”

“Pee-tri!” Harry corrects, throwing his voice across the room.

He hopes he’s loud enough for the camera to detect, but he isn’t exactly brave enough to find out. Harry picks up their empty curry boxes and scampers into the kitchen without so much as a backward glimpse. He may have been forced into this assignment, but he’ll be damned if he can't have a bit of fun.

Her narration stops as he dips out of sight; if Harry were the gambling sort, he’d bet all the gold in Gringotts that she shot him a two-fingered salute away from the camera.

For some fucked up reason, the thought stirs something warm and exciting that lies dormant in his stomach. What’s worse is this feeling almost makes him smile.

No.

Harry draws a breath as he enters the kitchen.

As Kingsley’s told him several times, this arrangement is strictly business— regardless of his past with her. And in retrospect, yeah, the whole setup is an easy way for King to A) refuse responsibility himself, and B) put Monkstanley in a tough spot if it goes pear-shaped.

Harry pops open the rubbish bin. This is just the sort of liability King’s always looking to avoid, really, but— wait. He blinks down into the bin to make sure he’s not just seeing things, but nope… for some reason, the interior is divided into three sections, each in a different color.

Huh! Harry mulls this over before picking the blue bin at random and tossing the containers in. Maybe he’d know what each color meant if he bothered to read the covenant rules. Fortunately, he had much more exciting plans that particular evening involving Ron, loads of butterbeer, and a Canons/Falcons match from hell.

Whatever. Surely Arcadia would make an effort to clearly explain their recycling system if they really cared about the planet.

He returns to the living room just as Ginny’s providing a more in-depth introduction. “Right. I’m Unspeakable GW, badge number”— her voice becomes garbled gibberish, an extra level of concealment, before slipping back to normal speech— “and we’re here to investigate the series of unexplained Muggle disappearances in the village of Arcadia. As this may involve a potential escapee from the Thought Chamber, the Department thought it best for me to investigate. The Thought Chamber’s been my area of expertise for four years…”

Harry sinks into the sofa as she continues; he’s unsure if he should be sad or impressed that this is teaching him more about her job than she ever shared. Not that she did this for long while they were actually together, mind. Nonetheless, his chest flutters again with that stupid bittersweet pride as Ginny scans the room with the phone camera. All of this pageantry is necessary for her job, he knows. Careful documentation. Detailed recordings.

But for fuck’s sake, look at how much she’s done! She’s the youngest Junior Unspeakable in history, soon to become Senior, if this mission works out. She’s composed, she’s eloquent, she’s graceful. Another smile threatens to break through before Harry suppresses it; he just hopes that there’s someone in her life to remind her of how special she is.

She’s really dressed for the part, too. Harry’s certain that none of this is actually in her wardrobe. Seeing her out of jeans and a jumper is off-putting, but she’s done it so damn well. She once told him that most of her clothing choices were based on how easily she could wear them flying.

He swallows the sadness creeping up his throat. He doesn’t even know if she still flies, but she doesn’t in this outfit, that’s for damn sure. Her trainers are impeccably white, with a floral button-up blouse done up to her neck. She’s a bit like a young, beautiful Aunt Petunia; Harry reckons this is more or less the goal, but when she turns around to describe the stairwell, his eyes drop to her arse.

Shit.

He glances away as quickly, but he got a good look. Her casual trousers are rolled at the ankles, but they’ve done nothing to make her look… plain. Harry shuffles on the sofa, desperate for anything else to think about. Somehow, Aunt Petunia’s face still puckers in his mind’s eye, but now he can’t escape the mental image of her bent over the oven of 4 Privet Drive, only this time sporting a round, perfect—

“Potter’s here for backup,” Ginny says, returning to the sitting room. “I’m on primary investigation.”

Thank God; he sighs at the welcome distraction before remembering that bantering with her has always been an effective palate cleanser. So he does that, instead.

“Well, you know what they say,” Harry calls, leaning back against the cushions. “There’s nothing less interesting than the suburbs. Which is why I could never do your job, Jen.” He ends with a wink, resting his hands behind his head.

Ginny arches a brow, holding the camera in front of her. “And please take note, Attica, that the next time this happens, I’ll be the one to choose the names.”

She means it casually… he knows she means it casually. But something in her words pricks him. Irritates him. Wedges beneath his skin.

“Quite an assumption I’ll ever spend this much time with you again,” Harry mutters under his breath.

Shit.

He freezes. He didn’t mean to say that out loud, at least not so… bitterly. Once upon a time, he possessed the social graces to think before replying like that— but days of interpersonal nuance are long gone. They belonged to a carefree teenager with few thoughts aside from the next time he’d run his fingers through the thick, red hair that currently swayed in a long ponytail.

By the time he looks back up at her, Ginny’s face is filled with disappointment. And she’s closed her phone.

“I’ll have to redo that last bit of filming,” she says with a sniff. “But for what it’s worth?” She raises her chin. “You didn’t mind spending time with me in the distant, distant past, Auror Potter.”

Ha!

That was a tremendous understatement.

He’d been in love with her. Stupidly. Disgustingly. The first six months after the war were a blur of sex and mourning. They’d been so punch drunk and delirious that they probably used each other’s bodies more than either of them knew. He really thought they’d have a future, though… that they’d end up getting married and buying a house. Except theirs would have been different than this one. Filled with far more character and history and warmth. Their home would have smelled like baking bread and sounded like kids giggling and felt like a soft blanket on a cold night.

But none of that had anything to do with the way he snapped. So why bring it up, really?

“Sorry,” Harry whispers, tucking his hands beneath his bum. “That… I didn’t mean. I’m sorry. I just meant that we don’t see each other much, and…” He lets out a slow breath. Best to stop talking before he digs himself deeper.

“I forgive you,” Ginny says quietly. A full second passes before she offers him a smirk. “As long as I can still call you Pookie Pie in front of the neighbors.”

Harry blinks at the carpet with a sad smile. “Deal.”

[feminaexlux]

Fall to Me

TBH I realize belatedly after writing this that Truth was fomenting chaos in my soul and it needed to be taken the fuck out with a proverbial shotgun

Anyway here's a fic that was based off of Truth and without knowledge of the rest of S4 so far, just in case nothing makes sense

I also know I promised smangst (smut + angst) but I got tired/lazy and @mintaka14 posted something I felt was eerily similar (or just reminded me I needed to get this done) so I wanted to get this out the door

Read on AO3 here!

Rated M for language I guess?

⁂

Luka was in a precarious situation. He was lying half-naked on Marinette's chaise, with Marinette herself lying half-naked on him. She let out a quiet sleepy giggle when she brushed her thigh against his raging hard-on, still unfortunately trapped under his over-tight jeans. His neck felt sore where she'd bitten him and he figured there'd be a pretty obvious bruise there soon.

His chest was also similarly marked.

He woke up like this. He had woken up when he had needed to sneeze because some hair got all up in his face. He then realized he had a whole-ass person on top of him. And that person was the girl he had been in love with for years. He had gently brushed away her hair and she had hummed out a "Mmmm, Luuuuka," that got him hot-and-bothered and unable to go back to sleep. He kinda didn't want to wake her in fear of this whole precarious situation blowing up in his face.

⁂

This all started a week ago with Dingo, that fucker. Well, sort of. Maybe. Maybe that was all circumstantial. But Dingo had 2 extra tickets to The Bondsmiths and Ding had given them to Luka. Juleka was busy with stuff, his Ma wasn't into this newfangled noise, Ivan wouldn't go without Mylene, Mylene was in Spain on vacation, Rose was "stuff," and if Dingo was involved most of Luka's other friends wouldn't be.

He'd just thrown it out into a group chat "Hey I have an extra ticket anyone want to come?" and Marinette was the one that said "me~!" Luka and Dingo had a tense stare off when Dingo handed over the tickets.

Her? Dingo's sharp brown eyes seemed to say.

Luka stared back coolly. Yes. We're friends.

Dingo fucking smirked. How much longer, eh? Cheers, mate. He gave the tickets to Luka with a smarmy wink.

The night of the showing Luka got stuck being the designated driver. He was used to it. The concert area was indoors and packed. Ding almost got shitfaced and Brielle had to keep him from falling over. At least the sets were fantastic. When the concert was closing at around 02:34 Ding and Brielle were having sloppy disgusting make-outs, making both Luka and Marinette ever so slightly uncomfortable.

That was when it all started getting weird. Weirder.

Brielle came up for air and told Luka that she and Ding would take a cab back, so all Luka would need to do was drop off Marinette. Luka shrugged and did just that, but Marinette invited him up to crash at her place because it was already so late and he looked so tired. He was about to pass on that when Marinette mentioned that her parents were on vacation in China and wouldn't be back for a whole month, just… out of the blue.

Before he could formulate any sort of coherent response she took his hand and pulled him up the stairs to the living room, sat him on the couch, started brewing some chamomile tea for the both of them, and talked about the concert. Marinette smiled at him after handing him a mug and short-circuited his brain again. "That was fun!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed," Luka smiled back, sipping his tea.

She sat down next to him and brushed her hair back over her ear. A shiny black earring seemed to glimmer with the light it caught. "I'm really glad I was able to go with you."

His head was empty except for noticing the light blush she had on her cheeks. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes, and somehow Luka got the sense that she was… expecting something? Oh, a response, duh. "Same. It's always nice to hang out with you."

She smiled, drank the rest of her tea and set it aside. "Luka, can I kiss you?"

… What? Wow, alright he was tired. He thought he heard her ask him if she could kiss him. He was already in the half-asleep pseudo-dream state and probably imagined that whole thing. Goddamn he was such a simp for her. "Heh," he said noncommittally.

Marinette blinked at him. "Is that a… a no?"

"Hmm?"

She scooted closer to him and he took a big gulp of his tea to hide his nervousness. "You… don't want me to kiss you?"

Oh God he heard that correctly. He sputtered and coughed, covering his mouth with a fist. "Wh-what?" He blushed hard.

She blushed as well. "Sorry! I'm sorry. I-I-I thought… um."

Several years ago they had tried to date but she'd always been… unavailable. So they kept hanging out as friends, which was… fine. It was fine. They'd never even gotten to really do anything together as a couple but as friends? It went better.

He wasn't over her. Never tried to convince himself he was. But he also honestly hadn't expected her to want to get back together. So… what changed? She sighed heavily, her complexion calming back down. "Nothing changed. Not really." She looked down toward the floor at her feet and he finally realized he asked that last thought out loud. "I… maybe I guess I did." She looked back up at him. "I've been thinking lately that I just want… to do something for me, for once. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" She trailed off and stared back at the floor.

"I've never stopped wanting to be with you." Oh shit he said it. She looked back up at him and he awkwardly took another swallow of tea and looked away. "Sounds bad. I guess it is," he said eventually.

"But you didn't tell me?"

He met her eyes. "You were happy. You were with Adrien. I can't force my feelings on you."

She took a breath and let it out slowly. "I was, yeah." Her words hung in the air.

Luka hadn't figured out what happened to break up the state of Adrienette, but when he came back from touring with Jagged, Marinette and Adrien were "just friends" again. Luka wasn't sure how long ago the split happened and after 2 or 3 years apart did he even know Marinette anymore?

She had welcomed him back to Paris as a more grown up Marinette, not actually so different than he had remembered her. She had more confidence, less anxiety, a spine of steel. She was in charge of herself and it was so good to see her so sure.

He didn't want to mess that up for her in any way. So they remained friends for 2 more years. And for one reason or another they both kept being single.

He had somehow reintegrated back in her inner circle of friends. Luka saw for himself that Marinette and Adrien had a lot of history in their little in-jokes and double talk, dropping code phrases and making each other laugh at random. Maybe they'd reignite that spark and Luka didn't want to be caught in the resulting blaze. Even if they didn't, underneath it all he worried about being disappointed and left in the dark by Marinette like he'd been all those years ago.

Not that it did anything to change his attraction to her. He was a sucker for girls like her, except there had only ever been the one.

Marinette took his free hand and squeezed it gently. "I was happy, yes. And… I was hoping I could be again. With you?"

⁂

Slowly, Marinette thought, take it slow. She did spring this on him a little suddenly but hey, it felt right, and she had it on relatively good authority that it was time. At this point in her life she knew to trust her gut instinct and friendly advice. Although she felt more okay with this because her head was sliiightly impaired right now.

She also thought that he'd jump on… her, she supposed, given the opportunity - but he was uncharacteristically reserved. Was it uncharacteristic? Maybe not. He'd always been pretty laid back and easy going.

And observant.

Which meant he was thinking and had doubts about them. Well, shit. Okay. She didn't make it easy on them the last time they tried anything like this. Actually, Hawkmoth had made life difficult for her so there hadn't even been an opportunity for a them.

He sighed softly and squeezed her hand back. "I want… this. I do. But there's still something that worries me."

Alright, fuck going slow. "I'm Ladybug. I am now and I was then. That's why I kept disappearing." This was alright, it was kind of an open secret by this point in her superhero career. Her parents knew, her closest friends knew, and Luka was a close friend she wanted even closer, so he should know.

His mouth was slightly open and his eyebrows shot up. "Ah."

"Things are… okay now, aren't they? I'm not needed like I was before."

He smiled a little and his worried expression softened, understanding. "That… does explain a lot of things but that's not the only thing I was worried about."

That surprised Marinette. And actually now she started to worry herself. What other red flags had she given him? Shit. She'd been a basket case in her earlier teens but she'd left behind the Teenage Angst Things and graduated to Adult Things, hadn't she? Fuck.

He chuckled. "It's not --all-- a you thing, this is a me thing," he said.

"Oh please don't give me the 'It's not you it's me' talk when we haven't started anything," Marinette interrupted.

He snorted, putting down his empty tea mug on the table. "Yeah, I still want to give you some context," he continued. "First off, I'm not like Dad, I don't want to be a big rock star with all that baggage. I just wanna play music and do small gigs and have fun. I'm not gonna be rolling in money and I can't give you everything that you'd possibly want."

Marinette blinked. "I… already knew that?"

"Second, if you do want to 'start' things I promise you I'm not just going to let you go again."

Marinette bit back a smile. "Alright. Are we entering some kind of agreement here? Is this a pre-nup?" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"We're already getting married?" He laughed.

"Not if you don't want to kiss me!" He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers.

Soft, warm, simple. Real.

She placed her hands on his face and brought him in for another kiss, stopping him from pulling back all the way. "More," she breathed out.

⁂

"More?" Luka thought. It was… an odd ask but okay… He was sort of interested in more as well so why not? Except well, there were a few things clarified but he really meant to talk about things in detail before diving into… her mouth like he just did. Her fingers worked their way through his hair, her nails skimming across his scalp sending shivers down his spine. She gave back as much as she was receiving from him in their make-out and if he had to taste only one thing for the remainder of his life he'd want it to be her: sweet, warming, with notes of chamomile, bourbon, vodka, and rum.

This was getting a little too indulgent but most of him didn't mind. One part of him craved this from her, but… wait, shit. Bourbon? Vodka? Rum? She'd been drinking, dumbass. Shit. "Mm--" He tried to say her name to get her attention, maybe slow them down a bit -- okay, a lot -- but she had just leaned back on the couch and he was pulled down with her still relentlessly kissing him. "Mar--" he tried again, but she took that opportunity to take his bottom lip gently between her teeth. One of her hands went to his hips and she grabbed a belt loop and hooked a finger under his jeans, tugging him closer.

Oh boy.

He broke free from her a little reluctantly. "Hold on," he chuckled nervously after pulling back. "Wait a sec."

Her eyes went wide open and she froze. She pulled back her hands and stuttered out a "W-was that bad? S-Sorry! Oh I'm so--"

He pressed two fingers to her lips to stop the torrent of apologies. Apparently the penchant of apologizing for everything wouldn't change about Marinette even if she'd been drinking. "Marinette, you had a few drinks. I don't… I don't think…" He sighed, sitting back up.

"I only had 3?" Marinette squeaked.

"4. You finished off Brielle's."

"I-I think I'm pretty sober?"

"But you're not sure."

"I'm… sober enough, aren't I?"

"I'm not confident making that call."

"But I… I want this," Marinette said quietly but firmly. "I really want this."

The thought that kept mentally slapping Luka across the face was But will you still want this in the morning? Well. He had to be honest with himself. It was really Will you still want me in the morning?

Her knowing the general trajectory of his life and joking about marriage aside, she hadn't said anything about wanting him. Wanting a "this" and wanting to be happy again, sure. Having him along for the ride, sure. But actually wanting him and all he was? Still unclear.

And even if she said she wanted him, would he believe her? She'd been 14, yes, but she said she wanted to date and… never actually followed through, Ladybug duties aside. He sighed to himself. She hadn't been ready. That wasn't her fault. She couldn't tell him then.

But that time of being left behind didn't magically evaporate with an explanation.

He didn't think he was bitter or resentful but all of that was hitting him full-force now. Not again, his head warned him. Not again. You don't have to deal with that. And yeah, he didn't have to deal with that... Sometimes a heartbreak was worth braving.

He needed some time to think about if this was worth braving.

He felt Marinette shuffling at his side but he didn't give in to the temptation to look. He stared down at his hands, his elbows propped on his knees as he slumped forward.

"Can… Can I hear what you're thinking?" Marinette asked softly. There was a little bit of uncertainty in her voice. He didn't say anything for several heartbeats. "Luka?"

Well, at least she didn't call him Adrien. That was a plus. God that'd been once and it still left an awful taste in his mouth. "You should probably head to bed. We can talk later." Later. There was always later. Except he was tired of later. It'd been better when he didn't have to tell himself he could wait. It'd been better when he hadn't had anything to wait for.

Easier. Not better. He had to give her that.

"No," she said. "I'd like to talk now if that's alright. I'd like to… understand." Right, she was better at standing her ground. She wasn't 14 anymore. He wasn't 16 and naïvely hopeful anymore.

He probably wasn't going to sleep anyway. "I don't know how to trust you."

⁂

Shit. Shit shit shit.

Marinette felt the all too familiar cold panic settling on her shoulders like it always did. Of course he didn't trust her, she wouldn't trust herself fully now with how things played out back then. She was definitely getting a headache.

Fucking Cockmoth. Fucking Guardianship. Fucking… Adr--no, she made her peace with Adrien. They were past that now. Fucking… obligations and wrangling all those threads in her life to hold together. Marinette figured she was done with all that, but…

At the epicenter of all of these problems was her. She had to admit, it wasn't her fault but it became her responsibility to treat those around her as fairly as she could. And she hadn't been fair with Luka.

God, she spent hours staring at pictures of Adrien and drooling over every damn appearance. When she tried to get past the crush the whole universe was conspiring to push her to indulge it instead. And worst yet, she did indulge it while trying to date Luka! This was… she should have seen it coming. Who in their right mind wouldn't be at least a little bit wary of her intense obsession over Adrien in her formative years influencing her now? It defined who she was for a long time.

But she was different now, she grew up. She just needed to show it, right?

Wait. There was something about the way he said what he said. "You don't know how to trust me?" He nodded. "Do… do you at all?"

"Mostly." Okay, so there was still a tiny sliver of a chance? "I trust you with almost everything."

"Except?"

"Except me." He paused for a moment. "And you've been drinking."

But! But I… Yeah. "Okay." Her being slightly impaired did make things a little complicated. And maybe that was the reason why she was being a bit impulsive right now, the alcohol was fast-forwarding her decision making process. Marinette let out a breath she held in. "Will you stay here tonight?"

He raised an eyebrow but relented with a "Yeah."

"Come upstairs with me?"

He raised the other eyebrow as well, looking nervous. "Upstairs? To your room?"

"Yes, I wanted to--" It took a second but it clicked. What she asked didn't sound any less impulsive with how he probably interpreted that. "Oh I'm not going to seduce you or anything I just was thinking it'd be nicer for you if you were using my daybed instead of the couch here but I guess it could sound a little like I'm asking for sex which I'm not. I mean unless you consider making-out se--okay nevermind!" Wow, way to go, Marinette. Her face was burning with embarrassment. "I'll bring down a blanket!"

Okay, she had to admit it, she was definitely more than a little tipsy. She felt lightheaded when she stood up quickly. She tried to hide her disorientation as best she could as she walked away, heading toward the ladder leading up to the hatch. She'd been so focused on seeming not-drunk that she bonked her head at the top climbing up. "Ouch!"

"Are you alright?" Luka asked, and even tipsy Marinette could hear the puzzled amusement in his voice.

"I'm fine," Marinette muttered. She forced open the entry and it slammed open on the other side with a loud thunk. Fuck, she wasn't at all convincing him that she was sober. She slipped off her shoes and sat back down on her chaise/daybed, feeling incredibly embarrassed at herself. This was not at all going the way she hoped. He still felt betrayed at the things that happened when she was an idiot teenager. Should she have known? He never told her!

But he never told her because he never thought they'd get back together. That was obvious in the way he said all the things he said.

He did want to be with her. He did want her. But he'd been so hurt by what happened and… she never knew. No, of course she knew, he was akumatized by it. He'd carried that for so long and let her live her life without her knowing. Damn it, she needed to… she needed to make this right.

How could she make this right?

She was unsurprised as she felt the cool streaks of tears falling down her cheeks. In the morning, they'll talk. Ignoring the fact that it was already morning, she knew they both just needed to put this aside and get some rest for now. She heard shuffling and Luka making his way up the ladder. She quickly wiped her eyes.

"Hey, you doing okay?" He had a clear look of concern on his face, kneeling down in front of her. "Is your head hurting?"

"Oh no, sorry, I just spaced out."

"You hit your head that hard?" Luka asked, sounding even more concerned.

"No, no. I-I was… My head's fine, Luka." She sighed. "Just. Thinking, is all. Sorry, let me get the blanket."

He looked up at her a bit more keenly. "You've been crying." A simple statement.

"Yeah," Marinette said quietly, defeatedly. "But I'm okay." She pasted on a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She started getting up but he caught her attention and spoke with some hesitation.

"I don't need the blanket. I'm probably not going to sleep," he said with a half smile, sitting down on the floor in front of her. "Too much going on here," he tapped against his temple. "I'm guessing the same for you?"

"Yeah again," she said, smiling for real this time. "Can we keep talking?"

"We can. I thought it'd be better if you got some rest but sleep isn't coming for either of us anyway." The lights in her room were muted but she could see the bags forming under his eyes. He passed his hands over his chin, lightly scratching at the stubble coming in.

"I was really kind of… no, not kind of. I was awful when we dated before."

"You weren't awful. You just weren't there. I understand that you had Paris to save," he added quickly when she had furrowed her eyebrows. "But the fact remains that I wasn't able to spend any time with you. Juleka kept telling me to watch out and that you dated me only because Adrien wasn't available to date anymore. I was hoping you'd change your mind and you would want to be with me, but then you were making time for him and your other friends while I was left waiting. I'm a human being, Marinette, not a doormat. You forgot about me. It was miserable and I felt like shit. I almost regretted asking you out at all."

⁂

Ah, fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. There were none of his usual filters. He just spewed all that out there. It was all true but maybe he should've let it go? She was young and dumb, anyone at that age was capable of making stupid-ass mistakes. Luka himself made soooo many of them. It'd been like 5 years since their breakup, maybe he should just get over it already. Marinette was in his arms literal minutes ago and he had to go and get like this. And he made her cry again. Nice one, Couffaine.

This was the worst sort of crying. She went absolutely still with a solemn expression, being oppressively silent while the tears fell from her eyes. He felt his mouth go dry and he swallowed. "I--" he cut himself off.

Marinette nodded her head so slightly Luka almost didn't see the motion. "I didn't make time for you," she agreed, her voice tiny and broken.

He suddenly wanted to make a quip about knowing all about time and giving Second Chances to let them both recover but that would be disingenuous and corny as hell. He wasn't so sure he believed in them much anymore. And maybe the way this played out was better anyway, at the very least he needed to own what he said as he couldn't take back his words.

Marinette broke the silence. "I… I wasn't very happy with myself back then. I did make a lot of bad decisions. I didn't give you… much of anything I guess."

He smiled a little. "I still have that pendant."

"I could have given you more. I could have been doing so much more. And I didn't. I didn't," she repeated, a hitch in her voice.

Fuck. He could meet her halfway at least. "It sounded like you had a lot to deal with. You knew your friends better so it makes a lot of sense that you'd prefer to hang out with them. I was just some guy. The brother of a friend. I wasn't that important in the long run."

"Don't say that," Marinette cringed a little. She wrapped her arms around herself. "You were--are important. I was… I was scared. Of a lot of things. A lot of stupid things." She shivered slightly. "I was a little scared of disappointing you. I was scared that maybe I had used you to… make me feel better about myself. I was scared that you'd never see all of me. I was scared that Hawkmoth would use you against me and your family and Paris if you knew I was Ladybug and it happened anyway without you knowing about me. I was so stupid back then."

He sighed. "Hey, please don't beat yourself up. I didn't want to make you feel like you have to explain what happened in the past. I got too… wrapped up in how I felt back then. We didn't work out and that's just life." It hadn't been their time.

Did he still love her? Sure. But they'd been better off as friends. She even made a point of trying to hang out with him nowadays. She told him everything that was on her mind. She gave him small gifts here and there, made it to all of his gigs, invited him to all of her fashion showings. They saw the movies and concerts they wanted to see together. When she felt lost or sad he was the first one she reached out to.

As… friends?

There was this uncomfortable feeling tugging at the back of his mind. He felt it at the base of his skull, a slow dawning realization. But… he almost didn't want to acknowledge it as it could have been just some phantom hope that she would love him like he sometimes dreamed. It was way too easy to get lost in some fantasy.

Maybe he was just scared himself. Scared of being ghosted again if he picked up this hope and tried to make it real. In a roundabout way he was saying that, at least.

Okay. Time to bite the bullet. He leaned forward and put his hand on her elbow. "I know we're hanging out a lot more now. I'm sincerely enjoying all the times we get to do stuff together. I'm grateful that you're giving me all that." This is it. Just say it out loud. "I'm saying that if we want to be more than friends, I'm scared that you're going to leave me again."

Whew. Was that so bad? Actually yeah it was terrifying.

There was a grimace on Marinette's face. "I… I-I understand," she said weakly. "I understand why you'd be afraid of that. But I don't know how to prove to you that I won't?"

It felt like the world shifted, the same as the first time he ever saw her. That earlier hope was coiling around his heart, making it beat faster. "You won't?"

She kept looking pained. "J-Just so you know I t-totally get it if you wanna stay friends or… or something, but I-I want… I know I messed up and I get pretty crazy sometimes so maybe you don't want anything to do with me after this and it's completely your right to do that--"

"Hold on," Luka interrupted her, half anxious and half this is so Marinette. "I'm not--" She put her fingers to his lips to quiet him.

"B-But I have to ask if you could give me a second chance?"

⁂

Marinette pulled her head back a bit and got annoyed at herself. "Sorry, that wasn't supposed to be a pun. O-On your… history as Viperion."

Great, so not only had she made an ass of herself but she just unintentionally punned at Luka. Marinette intensely disliked when Chat had made those inappropriately annoying puns whenever moments were tense. She seemingly picked up the habit, ugh.

Luka laughed and the tension was cut a bit. Maybe Adrien wasn't so wrong to have joked all the time. Luka took her hand into his and pressed his face against her palm. "Alright, alright," he breathed out. Instantly Marinette's heart started beating faster. "I just wanted you to hear me out. You do hear me, right?"

Marinette nodded. "I hear you." There was a slightly rough and tickling sensation under her finger tips as she was able to feel some of his 5-o'clock-shadow (except what was it now, 4am?). Funny, she didn't notice that so much when she'd been kissing him.

"Then you should know that even though I've been scared, I could never stop hoping you'd warm back up to me." He gently folded her hand in his and smiled up at her. "Do you want to go out to dinner with me? We don't have to get married along the way."

"W-Well, yes to dinner, or maybe breakfast? But I mean," Marinette said, attempting for casual but probably still coming across nervous. "Don't throw that whole marriage idea out yet. I'm still not sure how to… prove things?"

He smiled. "Spend some quality time with me. That's all. It doesn't have to be big."

"Okay, breakfast and dinner. And lunch, too." She wanted to spend all the time she could with him. He wasn't asking for much -- to be honest he never asked for much, and this was something she wanted to give.

Luka smiled, probably thinking she was joking. "Think you can get some rest now?" He asked. "I can head back downstairs--"

"No! No, no, I mean, stay here with me. I-If you want."

"You're not trying to seduce me, are you?" He grinned.

"Well, I can," Marinette grinned back. "Can I?"

He seemed a little surprised by that. "Uh," he blushed.

How cute, he got flustered. Capitalizing on that, Marinette leaned forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders, her forehead against his. "I'd really like to," she whispered.

"How... inebriated are you?"

She sighed. "Do you really think I'd be having a coherent conversation with you if I was drunk?"

"You tell me, Ladybug."

"Luka Couffaine, you are a gentleman but I'm merely... warm and not even buzzed anymore. I would definitely still like to seduce you."

He blinked a few times. "Oh." He paused again, thinking it through. He gave a little laugh. "I'd really like that too."

[ineedmora]

I humbly come once again to ramble about the sublte details on Z.hongli’s outfit- OKAY SO;;  First of all, a very interesting thing I want to mention is that Emperors in ancient China were identified as the sons/descendant of dragons ( also known as loong 龙 ) , and dragons were used as a symbol to represent imperial power;; it is said that ordinary people were not allowed to have items that depicted pictures of dragons on them ! bc well, dragons were associated with the emperor; and this hits in a way because of many reasons; one: it makes sense that Zhongli’s character is often associated with dragons because althought in Liyue there are no titles such as emperor, Zhongli does represent the ultimate authority of Liyue; he is the archon; so him descending to Liyue as a dragon when he was actively still rulling (I know his exuvia is also part Qilin but I will focus this post more about the dragon side) , and having patterns that are similar to dragons now makes a lot of sense; bc emperors wore robes with dragon motif as an imperial symbol;

Also when you look at Zhongli’s outfit; at the end of his coat, you can notice a fading scales pattern, which makes sense because physically speaking, the chinese dragon is described to possess the scales of a carp across its body

ALSO- the color yellow !! I don’t think this has been stated by the people who worked on Z.hongli’s design but- putting to the side the whole vibe there is around the element of geo that is depicted as yellow (such as electro with purple, hydro with blue, etc) there are a lot of sources that could explain the use of yellow on his design; in one hand you have one of the nine classical types of dragons depicted in Chinese art and literature, which is Huanglong, the yellow dragon ( the zoomorphic incarnation of the Yellow Emperor in Chinese religion and mythology ) and on the other hand you also have directly the story of the yellow emperor ( or by his Chinese name Huangdi ; ‘Huangdi is held up in some ancient sources as a paragon of wisdom whose reign was a golden age’ )

"...The Yellow Emperor created and changed a great many things; he invented weapons and the wells and fields system; he devised upper and lower garments, and established palaces and houses."  I dunno if im thinking too much into this but, this sorts of reminds me of the descriptions of Zhongli shaping Liyue and establishinghis people on the land-

IN CONCLUSION;; Z.hongli’s design is super neat and no wonder moms love it

sources ! ; x , x , x , x , x , x

[nutty1005]

Xiao Zhan – Wilderness in his Heart

Translator’s Note: This article comes from Portrait Magazine 2020 Feb Issue. Also, this is a VERY long article.

When filming on the Xiang Mountains, Xiao Zhan would almost run in the wild fields everyday.

The sky is very blue, he would often be in the midst of waves of rice stalks.

From afar, the short and rolling green hills, the breeze quietly blows over, he did not need to think of anything.

Till now, his friends would still keep some of his video clips of the wild fields he shot – often it would be the sunset, the sound of the winds, the rustling sounds of leaves brushing against one another, the man who was filming held his breath, the scene slowly panned up from the wild fields, sometimes you could hear sounds of thunder from far away.

The scene remained serene, he remained calm as he stood in the middle of the wild fields.

Sizing Up

Life as a commoner stopped for Xiao Zhan at age 25.

In the 2019 that just passed, he went onto Weibo trending topics 159 times, his high ponytail look, his arrow collared suit, whether he overcame the hellish lighting by Hunan TV, his pants had holes or not, his waistline, his smile, whether he snoozed in an event, did he look at someone, he cried or not. In order to understand his expression at that specific moment, his fans would pause his videos, screen capture, blow it up and analyze using Photoshop.

He became someone who was scrutinized every moment. Every morning after waking up, he would be most worried about his condition, a face that has to go onto camera, does not have the right to be bloated, with his height at 183.6cm, his weight at 127lbs, but his face still easily suffers from water retention. He could not understand why, could it be the fault of that cup of latte? His staff recommended that he only drink americano. But what if he could not even drink americano? When he heard this, he immediately fell backwards onto his seat with a “shuuaa”, his face in both hands, “let me live”.

The scrutiny on Xiao Zhan is from all angles. The bits and pieces of his growing process could be found on the internet, whatever naughty thing he did as a child that caused him to be disciplined, what he drew after he debuted, what logos he had designed, including the name of his cat, whether he had a girlfriend before, whether he could ice skate, what his favorite drink was. His online social accounts had been strictly controlled, when to logon, when to post, what to post, the pictures, the accompanying emoticons would all be deeply analyzed, even the time of posting would have wild guesses as to whether he had other meanings – regrettably, he does not seem to have any secrets to speak of.

The entertainment business studies a person silently and passively, the tone of speech, the mild expressions, these could all become evidence of a person’s reputation. Director Lü Ying precisely captured Xiao Zhan’s information this way. When filming “The Oath of Love”, he checked out Xiao Zhan’s reputation by word of mouth, he called his friend – “Xiao Zhan is in your team now, how is he like?”, the reply was given without any hesitation, “very good, highly cooperative, you’ll know once you use him.” He was at ease. In China, communication is more reserved, with the aim of not offending anyone, you would have to listen to the words and the tone – if the other party hesitated for a few seconds, “Uh… still alright”, this is a polite reminder that this person is “not proper”.

After the filming started, Lü Ying saw for the first time the rabid craze behind chasing stars – after filming dramas for nearly 20 years, his teams had never encountered so much attention. After the end of the day’s filming, he always had to arrange for the route for Xiao Zhan to his hotel, from which elevator down, from which side door, almost like “a getaway”. He was confused, he did not see that much fans in the daytime, but once night falls they would all appear – “do they hide on the trees?”. Even friends who had not been in contact for many years would WeChat him, “Director, I’m coming to visit your set.” When he spoke of this, he laughed exasperatedly, “Please, don’t bluff me, after being out of contact for hundreds of years, are you here to visit me or to have a look at Xiao Zhan?”

The day that “Portrait” visited Xiao Zhan for the first time, it was alright 11pm at night, after the day’s filming, Xiao Zhan was in his car on the way back to the hotel, as the yellow streetlamps flew past, everyone in the car was exhausted, no one was looking at their mobile phones, all were resting with their eyes closed. After 40 minutes, as the car stopped at the hotel entrance, it was suddenly rowdy. Although it was midnight, crowds and flash lights swiftly gathered, Xiao Zhan was surrounded. His staff came down from another car, pushing a huge makeup case, looked up at the scene a few meters away, turned and said, “You see, being in the same car as Xiao Zhan is very tiring.”

As his staff, they are all extra careful – when conversing in the elevator, we unintentionally said Xiao Zhan’s full name, and were instantly stopped by their glares, because there were still strangers with us. They had to take every precaution, all staff would wear masks, all had to have anti-spy screen protectors for their mobile phones, in order to stop sasaeng fans from secretly filming them; after staying in a hotel, they had to repeatedly ensure that no one is listening in on them from behind the door. But these seem futile, after they had checked out, there would still be sasaeng fans secretly requesting for Xiao Zhan’s ex-room number, in order to stay in the room he once stayed, almost as a form of “checking off their to-do list”.

Accompanying staff would always inadvertently be found in those videos. Every trip, before reaching the airport, their seats would be taken up, and would sometimes be deliberately separated from him. The process to switch back the seats would usually be quite smooth, the other party would not request for signatures, or group photos – they probably just wanted to be closer, to have a look at him.

Now, he could not escape the life of scrutiny. Last year July, without any makeup, wearing T-shirt and canvas shoes, Xiao Zhan went to Shanghai Disneyland together with his good friend, it was a rare rest day in his tight work schedule, he was extremely excited when he sent the invitation to his friend, “I am free, I am free, quickly give me your time.” In order to take some photos and videos, he took his mask off just for a short while, but he was immediately recognized, so he could only walk faster and faster, hide into a restaurant, and the trip to an amusement park became the escape from an enclosed room.

5 months later, once again in Shanghai, on a Saturday with great weather, he wanted to take a walk, and his staff could not dissuade him. He put on a cap and a mask, showing only his eyes, and thought his disguise was successful. But very soon, he was discovered because he was wearing his usual sweater and winter jacket. At night, he did not give up, went to watch a play called “Sleep No More”, and was sure that there would be no problems this time round because all of the audiences had to wear full masks, but in the end, the result was the same.

This is his life, being pursued again and again, doors closing in on him one by one. His lifestyle became more and more routine, from the hotel elevator to the basement, onto his car, to his work, and after it ends, back to his car to the hotel, not much of a chance to see the sky, from a studio to another studio, all enclosed, all in daylight lamps. Sometimes, after being enclosed for a long period of time, he did not even know if it was day or night. There was once while filming a drama, after being in the team for several months, the staff working with him almost never left the team, everyday watching the rice fields outside of the window, as the fields went from green to yellow, and the temperature fell, he sighed, “When we leave, it would be winter.”

He became more prudent. In the past, he used to have a Weibo post, a “secret garden”, when he was free, he would reply his fans there, he called them “Xiao Fei Xia”. Sometime before this interview, he closed the garden. Many celebrities would place their family members as part of their crew, but instead, he deliberately reduced his time with his parents, because he wished that they would stay away from the camera, such that they would remain free as every other commoner.

But somethings could not be predicted nor controlled. Not long ago, after an event in Shanghai which he participated in, the signature board had a sudden hole in it – the piece containing his signature was cut out and taken away, and soon after, someone was selling it online in their friend space (TN: This would refer to QQ Space, a chat program with a friends-only post board similar to Facebook), “Xiao Zhan’s signature, real signature, if you want it for your collection, come to me.” Or, he would never have thought that he would be trapped in the hotel’s revolving door, and the other person trapped with him, was an accompanying director.

“Portrait” experienced a similar story – Xiao Zhan walked into the hotel lobby, there would be people chasing him with raised mobile phones filming him, almost knocking into his face, he suddenly ran, the crowd screamed. From afar, he seemed like a comet with his tail. Fortunately, the elevator was on the first floor, he quickly darted into it. The moment was almost movie-like, no one spoke, there were only sounds of camera shutters, as the door slid shut, there was just a tight gap, his back facing the slowly sliding elevator door, his face leaning against the corner of the lift. It was just like what that accompanying director said after the encounter – “We were like animals trapped in a cage.”

Party B

Xiao Zhan never complained about these. On him, there was this fresh sense of understanding. He knew that the constant scrutiny would be his life for a very long time. This was the price to pay for this job.

Having been a designer, Xiao Zhan had a deep awareness and understanding of the relationship between Party A (client) and Party B (contractor). “Even if he’s the boss of a company, he also has his Party A. In the social networking, it is definitely reciprocative, no one can be free to do as they like.” If he were not an actor, perhaps the stress in his life would be higher, “it is possible that at this moment, I coould have broken down crying in a random train.”

Sometimes, the producer of “The Untamed”, Yang Xia, would be amazed at Xiao Zhan’s communication ability. There was a smoothness associated with plenty of life experiences.

He had been through the society “school of hard knocks”. In University, he studied design, and there were a lot of spare time outside of curriculum, hence he never stopped working on something since first year. He opened a photography studio with his friends, his parents gave him some startup funds and told him firmly, “If you regret and come back to us crying, we’ll ignore you,” and never bothered with him. In order to cut down operational fees, he and his friends went down to construction materials markets themselves, to choose floor tiles, coffee tables, buy water pipes, and discuss renovation details with the contractors; they went to apply for their operation license themselves, and finally the studio was functional.

If they were to court random customers, it would hardly profitable, hence they thought about having membership. In order to court clients to sign up, Xiao Zhan said he could place himself at the lowest, his work motto was, “Of course I could serve you tea and drinks, in the shop I opened, you are my client, serving you is my job, and my job is to make you satisfied.”

After that, he also started his own design studio, clocking in everyday, frequently working overnight. Besides drawing maps for farms, doing interior design for a cafe, most of his work involved designing logos. As per the client’s requirements, he would design 3 logos with backup choices, and his aim was very clear – to win the bid.

“I must win the bid, I want my clients to see my logo, I feel that everyone should have this kind of ambition, not the kind that will cause you to do evil, but more about being able to match what others are doing, like a 3D effect, or a moving image, I just won’t admit defeat, everyone learnt art, I just must be the best.”

The aim to win the bid was clear and organized, and this could be seen in his acting career. As Wei Wuxian in “The Untamed,”, he proactively fought for the role. During casting, Yang Xia saw a lot of actors, some would say that they read the original novel but their lies would quickly be uncovered. Xiao Zhan was truthful, he had not read the novel yet, so he said he did not read it.

But he read the script thoroughly, and wrote countless character analysis essays, “Direct analysis, relationship charts, scribbles everywhere, I did quite a lot of that, you could say that I’m prepared, I’m just doing what I can, and doing all that I can.” This type of sincerity and professionalism moved Yang Xia. “From the moment he was in the team, I never worried about Xiao Zhan, he is a clear headed person, I never needed to tell him much.”

If he did not want to do it, he would not do so, hence this has never been a question for him.

When he was still Party B, his work had to be done in layers, and he had to save frequently. The drafts were indicated by the appending numbers 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, and it kept increasing because the client would endlessly request for adjustments, and his computer would frequently crash.

The fonts needed to be saved, the sources needed to be saved, the links needed to be saved, “Headache.” The biggest worry that Xiao Zhan had would be to open his files and realize that the links were gone, or the layers were messed up, or his numbering was jumbled. As he spoke of these, he held his head and said, “Wah, total breakdown.”

His true work experience was given to him by a Hong Kong boss. The story was almost similar to “The Devil wears Prada”. The boss was highly efficient, professional, cold but his precise demonstration of work life gave Xiao Zhan a huge shock.

This boss of his “forced” away 3 interns, the phone calls at 3am or 4am had to be picked up, emails must be replied within 10 minutes, there was no tolerance for carelessness. If the marketing materials in the mall had been slightly damaged by children, even if it was a hole as small as a fingernail, if he saw it, it had to be replaced immediately. However, the supplier would not come down for such a small matter, in such circumstances, the boss would not even reconsider, only told Xiao Zhan, “I don’t care how you do it, it must be changed today.” For many of such instances, he could not get the supplier to come, he would quietly go down to the factory himself to bring the new marketing materials back.

There was once Xiao Zhan did a huge mistake. That was the mall’s summer campaign, they printed 4,000 booklets, he was the graphic auditor. The day that the booklets were sent over, he waited in office since 8am, and as he flipped the first page, his brain went blank with a “woosh” – there was a small picture that was misplaced in the first page, half of the space was white. He started to sweat, and felt that he was a goner – this was a team that was so strict that they would reprint everything if a single punctuation was wrong.

Until this day, he still remembered that scene, he went to his boss, apologized, explained the situation, and his boss flipped to the first page and saw, “oh, it’s here.” He stood as his boss was seated, and then there was a long silence. Finally, his boss, that strict middle-aged man, waved his hands, “It’s alright.” After that, he started making all kinds of calls, contacted the publisher, to reprint the 4,000 booklets, and confirmed that it would be sent the next day. After handling all these, that boss told Xiao Zhan something that he still found very useful till today – When a problem occurs, do not complain, the important thing is to solve the problem, now, instantaneously, immediately to rectify it, reduce the time wastage to the shortest.

This is the source of Xiao Zhan’s strong sense of professionalism since his debut. In the talent search variety show, he never learned dancing, but he practiced until his toenail fell off, the producer asked if he would continue dancing, “Dance, tomorrow, the day after, and the day after, I sill have to dance.” A group of them went to performance classes, he did step by step what the teacher told him to do, because they were not in costume, it was more casual, the others would break into laughter, but he would never. “You will feel that he has the right attitude, actually initially you don’t think there’s anything special in his performance, but he just has the right attitude.” That was the initial impression he gave the others. Lü Ying remembered, the actress Yang Zi had teased the seriousness in Xiao Zhan, and said that there was no way anyone could joke with him on set, because he would take it seriously.

Almost every single interviewee would attest to his professionalism, they came from different working occasions, different job scope, the details were all different – when he could have chosen to stay in a better hotel, he would instead choose to stay with his make up artists and production crew so as to save 1 hour of travel time, he wanted to use this 1 hour to memorize his lines; filming in cold weather, he would turn off the heater in the trailer beforehand, so that he could adjust to the temperature, such that he would not be stiff when he leaves the trailer, and he would be in good condition to perform.

This sense of professionalism did not fade with the passage of time. His first time as the main male supporting role, which was Ji Chong of “The Wolf”, there were approximately 300 scenes, he never left once, and honestly stayed for 4 months, in order to search for the condition which an actor should have. Last year was his third year as an actor, Director Sun Hao of “Joy of Life” was slightly surprised that this person “was there even for lighting adjustments”, many actors would have stand ins for this, and make minor adjustments when it is their turn to film, but Xiao Zhan was not worried about the sun, no matter how long it took, he was always waiting on the spot.

To Xiao Zhan, there were no differences between talent shows, acting and his previous career as a designer – they were all work and you should not be lazy. It was his personal choice to accept overtime and stay up all night, hence he would not be upset by that. The only thing that could upset him or break him down would be “Why did I not do as well as the others? Why were they able to think of this?”

Until today, he still remembered the days before his debut, a tight space, he was seated in a row with young designers, everyone’s computers were close to one another, everyone could see what the others were doing, everything was out in the open, everyone was fighting with their abilities, their tastes and ideas. Everyone was toiling in front of their monitors, until their faces were oily, and when the final design was being shown on the projector, that feeling is the most simple and pure, but also the most complex – this was probably how the real society was like.

Sensitivity

Listening to Xiao Zhan speak was a joy, he loved to use onomatopoeia (TN: i.e. a word that actually looks like the sound it makes). When he described a spark of inspiration during his time as a designer, he used the sound “ding”; for his first audition, there was a feeling of an opening ceremony that his acting career started with a “dong”; sometimes the directors would make changes on the spot, he said that there is an engine in his head, which would start spinning with “chichi” sounds; used “high” to describe how he liked these impromptu performances; the countless images flashed through his mind with a “bang”; when depicting how Wei Wuxian dropped all his guise and guard, he raised his hands, and brush downwards with a “shuaa”.

It seemed as though all of his senses were turned on, when we spoke of time travel drama, he did not like it, because it felt “very suspended”. The feeling of staying at home “is like falling into a piece of cloud, you can roll around in it, there is no pressure”. When he saw a tree, and as the branches were swaying in the wind, he felt beauty, as the breeze swept through the leaves, and brought the scent of the earth with it, it meant Spring had arrived. “Spring has a scent, I don’t know where this scent comes from, but if it comes, I would definitely feel it, it sounds so artistic, but I just have that strong sensation.” At some place and time, he felt cold and he immediately remembered the times when he was still a student studying in Chongqing some 10+ years ago – that time he was seated in the classroom memorizing vocabulary, shivering.

He described his favorite season in Chongqing to “Portrait” – when it was slightly chilly, when fall had just started, you could wear a thin jacket. There would be a thick mist in the morning, and he could see the bridge breaking through the mist, almost like in a fantasy world, the tall buildings were all stacked on the hills, the light rail shuttling between the buildings – there would be sense of romance rising from the whole city, and with mystery too, the feeling was very subtle, indescribable. This was Chongqing’s most alluring moment.

Xiao Zhan had a type of natural sensitivity. In every interview, while the interviewer was studying him, he was also studying the interviewer. Some interviewers were confident, but the younger ones would be very nervous, and he would take note of their tensed state, “Now I know, if I were to act as a younger interviewer, I might be pulling recapping my pen constantly.” That was how a newcomer might display anxiety.

At the filming set, observing the staff was also something important. The sound guy’s aim is to record sounds, and he had to ensure that the sounds were clear and perfect, without any trace of static. Despite holding the microphone stand, Xiao Zhan was pouting, and mimicked the sound guy’s tone with a frown, “Didn’t I tell you, turn off the wireless, turn off the air conditioner, the air conditioner outside as well, don’t talk, you’re wearing the mic, aiyo, sorry.” The person in charge of scene log, always had to bring the clapper board, “Here ok, here ok, higher, lower, further, nearer, ayy, which scene, actors faces?” He liked these vivid people in his life, “especially interesting, really especially interesting.” He kept exclaiming.

His sensitivity gave him the ability to understand his roles. “Joy of Life” director Sun Hao felt that Xiao Zhan was someone able to reach into himself for a role. Director Su Lun described Xiao Zhan as a very clean piece of white paper. “Because he’s new and he’s especially willing to use his real feelings.” She felt that every role he was in, he projected his real life experiences. “Where he was born, how his parents were like, his childhood experiences, just like maybe one day he grabbed a dragonfly by accident, encountered something, all these may affect his performance and chemistry, and all these are instinctive. I feel that he just has these abilities inborn in him.”

Actress Zang Hongna also experienced Xiao Zhan’s exquisite sensitivity. She was also someone who loved performance, and when Xiao Zhan just stepped into the actor career, she was that his standard partner in script reading. She acted as almost everything Xiao Zhan had to partner, a man, a woman, old, young, “I even helped as a prop.” They would also observe people and things in life together, as their acting resource archive.

There was one year in Beijing, she drove to pick up Xiao Zhan, and they met a pair of delivery staff, man and woman. That winter, the wind was especially strong, this couple rode on the same motorcycle delivering takeouts, one had his left hand on the motorcycle handle, the other had her right hand on it, and the unused hands were tightly held together. She remembered Xiao Zhan exclaiming from the passenger seat, that that scene was amazing.

Coincidentally, in January this year, Xiao Zhan had the chance to act as a delivery staff in a short clip called “Buying Ears”, whose dream was to gift a set of hearing aids to his hearing impeded grandmother, who lived far away back in his hometown. Director Su Lun expressed that before she saw Xiao Zhan, she was quite hesitant. Before the filming started, she was still pondering how to film the clip well, because it was their first time working together, there was insufficient time to bond, and it was also impossible to see the possibilities she needed from his past works.

After meeting face-to-face, they discussed the filming details, “Director, I won’t shave, I won’t style my hair, this is closer to the character, do you think it’s alright?” He would usually observe delivery staff’s gestures in the elevator, for example, how to sniff (TN: due to the cold weather), how to walk briskly, sometimes break into a small jog, because they would be wearing gloves, they would frequently use their mouths to open packaging, or to split disposable chopsticks. Su Lun was immediately relieved. “Actually these things, I feel that they are also part of performance.”

Director Chen Yushan also received WeChat messages from Xiao Zhan, he said he missed Ji Chong of “The Wolf”. That was his first time receiving such an important role, he entered the life of Ji Chong, received his happiness, anger, sadness and joy. When shooting the last scene for Ji Chong, Chen Yushan looked at him and said to him, “Wear Ji Chong’s clothes for the last time.” At that time, his expression was amiss, Chen Yushan remembered till this day, that was the expression of “heart break”. She told him very seriously, “You will face this situation countless times, I hope that every time you would feel this way, love this character, so much so that you can’t bear to take off his clothes.”

Going to War without Armor

The learning of “feeling” was a long process, especially to Xiao Zhan 5 years ago.

At that time he was still young man, clueless in front of the camera, in the talent search variety show, his first photoshoot, with Shu Qi as the mentor, who kept teaching him, down to the very details of where to place his hands on the ice, the face had to be stable on a position and not sway around, what should the expression of lying down be like, where should he look… the editing team were so bothered by it that a caption of “Yearning for Direction” was added next to his confused face.

He remembered his first time going to the set for an audition, he could not find the camera, and kept blocking others’ camera angle, auditions were like a battlefield, everyone was vying for the same character, all the performance methods, designed points will be spotted by others, that feeling, was like being picked and inspected naked.

Before entering the acting arena, he had never thought that dramas were produced this way: there would be hundreds and thousands of people doing major scale adjustments of the set, if the sound was not live recorded, there would absolutely not be any quiet corner available for you to enter into the scene, imagine this, you were acting in a tragic crying scene, there would be a hundred people surrounding you, some were whispering, someone would pick up his phone and tell the delivery staff on the other end, “You put it at the doorway, I’m still working.” – this is something true that happened to Xiao Zhan before.

Because he had no works under his belt, for nearly 3 years, actor Xiao Zhan was basically transparent in the industry, he acted in many supporting characters, was even in a group dance in the movie “Monster Hunt 2”, as a dancing and moving background, the camera quickly panned past him, his time onscreen could be counted in seconds. “Dancer in the Village” became a joke to tease Xiao Zhan. Lü Ying laughed as he said those four words, he remembered that previously when he was directing “Suddenly This Summer”, someone recommended Xiao Zhan, he liked this boy, clean, pure and bright but “the platform said no, not popular, no.”

His first time acting as a main supporting role was “The Wolf”, and that was also the result of Xiao Zhan fighting for it. When he met Director Chen Yushan, he was someone who was just part of an idol group, Chen Yushan had directed many famous idol dramas, a good looking face is not enough to move her. Xiao Zhan put in a lot of hard work, he read the whole story synopsis beforehand, narrated why he liked the character, even went as in-depth as to if he were to be Ji Chong, he hoped not to portray him as a stereotypical wanderer, who would be just someone suave and like to drink, he hoped that Ji Chong would not have an unpleasant side to him.

Zang Hongna met Xiao Zhan in this drama team, at that time Xiao Zhan was a “rookie” in everyone eyes. He was very quiet, and always seemed uneasy in the team, unsure what to say to everyone, because he was inexperienced, his shooting progress was comparatively slower, hence he was blamed himself a lot, worried that his acting was bad, that he would let the role down. During Mid Autumn Festival, to express his apologies, he bought a lot of moon cakes for everyone.

Being an actor and being a designer is really totally different jobs, and like every young person who enters a new realm, Xiao Zhan experienced a frustration that he had never felt before, and he was appalled to realize, that his previous life experiences were no longer enough.

“The Wolf” was shot in Yunnan Shangri’la, there were rolling snow mountains, deep river valleys, the temperature difference between day and night was akin to the four seasons, when it was cold, the winds would slice you like ice blades, until you could not stand steadily. In the primary forests 4000m above sea level, the horses in the team could not run, even the martial arts teachers also could not run after 2 rounds of jogging. There was a crying scene, and Xiao Zhan, with his eyes swollen from ultra-violet ray sensitivity, just simply could not cry. He even attempted to pinch himself, but it was useless.

“I broke down, I just could not act well, and yet I didn’t know where the problem was.” He went into a phase of severe self doubt. At night after the day’s filming, he would have performance classes until 2am or 3am, and he woke up 7am in the morning to do make up, still it was useless. There were many nights, after returning to his hotel room, he would just lie on the bed, with his make up, just staring at the ceiling, and stare for about 20 minutes, asking himself repeatedly, “Am I really suited to be an actor?”

One day, the performance teacher Xu Jiehui brought a bottle of Kaoliang liquor over – you drink a bit, you need to relax. That day he drank, dizzy and drowsy, the teacher praised him, look when you are relaxed you are acting well, quickly go write down this sensation. Xiao Zhan went back and started typing on his keyboard, and as he typed he cried, “venting while tipsy”. He wrote as he cried, then he remembered a video he watched on Weibo of a child who was doing his homework as he was crying, who did not want to do his homework, but he still had to, and cried as he did.

At a certain point in time, Xiao Zhan realized that he was no longer young. To enter into this scene as a 25 years old, might be slightly too late. This meant that he had pushed himself to the edge of desperation from the very beginning.

Breaking down was not a singular event, in “The Untamed”, that scene with the unforgettable serial number “38-1”. Yang Xia commented on this scene, “Damned 38-1, the pain in Xiao Zhan’s heart forever.” That was a group scene, many actors were there, Xiao Zhan’s character was like a detective, he had to answer the questions, his lines were two full papers, both sides, highlighted in orange, and the whole paper was orange.

He had well memorized all the lines when he was in the trailer, but once the camera started, Xiao Zhan forgot everything, his mind was blank, all he could remember was the orange color from the highlighter. There was nothing he could do besides admitting his fault, endlessly apologizing to everyone, “Sorry, I am really sorry, I really can’t memorize that.” The strict director did not scold him this time round, “Everyone please understand, he filmed for a whole day, there is really not enough brains for this.”

In the new world, everything was foreign, he had to grasp every opportunity to learn and adjust. Xiao Zhan called “Joy of Life” director Sun Hao “master”, and before filming, Xiao Zhan specially arranged time in his schedule to have 6 sessions of performance classes, Sun Hao could feel the strong desire to learn from Xiao Zhan, “Like a sponge, going to war without armor.”

In the Jiu Xian Bridge apartment, this pair of teacher-student spent 6 very simple afternoons together. Xiao Zhan would be wearing sporting wear that “he could roll around in” for the classes. The performance classes had a lot of repeated training – Sun Hao realized that Xiao Zhan could do a scene multiple times in several different ways. If Xiao Zhan had to act lonely, he would be lonely even in a group, and he would think of different methods in order to be “unaffected by stray thoughts”.

Sun Hao once observed Xiao Zhan via the surveillance camera, a group scene, where the fighting was very intense and the focus was not on him at all, but he would not relax, like simply strike a pose and left it at that, but instead he was extremely focused, still in the world and emotions of the character. Sun Hao liked this type of students. “Clean and harmless, never been polluted, easy to manage.” He knew that Xiao Zhan had experiences in the society, debuted late, and therefore knew how to cherish, “In comparison with red carpets and spotlight, he still loved acting, this is not someone who would love ‘replicas’.”

In “The Untamed” last summer, Xiao Zhan took on the lead role for the first time, 900 over scenes, complex lines. Hong Kong styled direction was highly efficient, after the scene ended, before the actor had time to sit down, the next scene was already ready. The director would often cue the actors on the spot, and he could perform his expressions and movement without his scene partners or props. The actors needed to be well versed with the script in order to do this – he needs to already have the imagery of the scene, and quickly react.

Yang Xia comments, “In this point, Xiao Zhan is the best of the team.” He had worn down many copies of his scripts, the director cues him, “Ah Zhan, be a little more upset”, he could go from a peaceful expression to an agitated expression immediately, instantaneously switching between different emotional conditions, and allowing the director to do the final pick. Even after a year, in many interviews, Xiao Zhan was still able to accurately repeat many of Wei Wuxian’s lines. Yang Xia knew Xiao Zhan gave a lot for this character, she can feel that Xiao Zhan was getting deeper into Wei Wuxian’s condition as the filming progressed.

There was a gathering during Dragon Boat Festival after the filming has ended, Yang Xia felt that Xiao Zhan was different. When he was in the team, he was like a little chatterbox, he talked a lot, anything could become a point that makes him laugh, everyone would be telling him, “Xiao Laoshi (TN: Laoshi is a common honorific term for artists) really it’s enough, stop laughing”. That time, Xiao Zhan said that he was actually quite an introvert, but no one believed him, this gathering, Yang Xia realized that he was actually a very quiet person. She suddenly understood the Xiao Zhan then – he turned himself into Wei Wuxian, “Being lively became his way of releasing stress.”

Life is just Life

Xiao Zhan is not a lively person, but also not really “not lively”. While interviewing him live, you can see that he would be working hard to liven up the atmosphere. Friend Zang Hongna observed that, to a certain degree, he would be quite lost in a bustling gathering.

He is actually someone who liked to be alone and have his own space. At the same time, he had his own unique sensations with regards to life and living.

This Chongqing boy liked being down-to-earth, he liked the grounded feeling that life brings him. For example, the part where his grandmother told him to return home if he ever got tired as she left him (for home).

He also said, “Life is just life, it is not sweet, but it is also not bitter.” When we spoke of the entertainment business, until this day, he still liked to use the words magical and ghastly, which made him seem more like an observer or outsider, to describe it. Just like what one of his seniors said, as a superstar, Xiao Zhan was still adjusting to it, “He still insists that he did not change, but the problem is that the environment has changed, and that is not decided by him.”

However, the smooth simplicity in how he faces life would reduce his anxiety on this path.

The first 25 years of his life, Xiao Zhan lived in a typical Chinese family, his father handled external affairs, his mother handled the household. Although there would be arguments, the family was warm. His father was a reasonable person, not strict for the sake of it, but also not doting, and educated him since young to be considerate of others and to earn others’ respect by his own virtues, “Just that method, is very Chinese.” Since young, he had been physically disciplined, the worst was during his middle school, because of “minor problems” – he did not do well for his examinations, came back late from school, received “complains” from a teacher for wrong homework answers, fought with a classmate. If he really did something wrong, his parents would not defend him, and occasionally, there would be “punishment duo”.

His father’s style of work was organized, and he demanded that of Xiao Zhan as well. Since childhood, he knew about “National Key Universities”, and he aimed to enter that of Chongqing. He knew about Beijing University and Qinghua University as well, because these two universities had summer camps, and his father would require him to participate. Even if he did not join, his summer would not be wasted. “A child cannot just have academics.” He was forced to participate in many interest classes, such as violin, go, calligraphy, Chinese calligraphy, drawing… until his mother would rebut: There was too much classes, how could he cope?

Until this day, his father would continue with the traditional strict style of education. Recently, his friends sent him the video clip of Xiao Zhan and Na Ying performing “Night at the Naval Port”, his reply was Xiao Zhan improved a lot under the professional guidance of his seniors.

Looking back, it seemed like Xiao Zhan started his competitiveness since then, or perhaps, a child with high demands of himself. He loved drawing, he would set targets for himself, he must win awards, because winning awards were “bragging rights”, whatever he did he must have “results”.

It was hard for him to accept not receiving rewards after hard work. During his high school nationwide final examinations, he wanted to apply for Sichuan Arts University to continue drawing, but he messed up his professional class – he scored the lowest for his best subject, sketching, and until this day, he still could not forget the humiliation. He switched off his mobile phone, unplugged his house phone, did not have his meals, and just laid on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling, and experienced the “first breakdown of his life”.

Eventually the breakdown would past, he calmly accepted this conclusion, and went to another university. Like many youngsters in their 20s, this period of his life was colorful and vivid, he would often hangout at his friends’ place, called his friends’ mother “God-ma”, he would lie down on the couch whichever way he wanted, watched movies, played video games, played table top games, when his two best friends, a couple, argued, he would become the peacekeeper for them.

When he first entered the industry, he also had his life and freedom. That time, he was a nobody, he did not need to wear a mask to go onto the streets, and he could visit the mall and Ikea freely. For a very long period of time, when he landed at the airport, he would have to carry his luggage by himself and take a taxi back home, sometimes fans would recognize him, he would take off his earphones and wave at them with a smile, or even share with them the snacks he had on hand.

These fans, he could recognize some of the familiar faces, he would use memo to note down his feelings to post on Weibo: It’s raining here, what about you? On days he has no work, he would stay at home, to read books or to watch movies that he likes. He would even record his weekly vlogs without makeup, rambling on random topics, like plain water.

Zang Hongna witnessed how Xiao Zhan was like when he first entered the entertainment industry. He had a lot of spare time, and would do random silly things. There was an incident where both of them went to Tienanmen Square to watch the flag raising ceremony at 4a.m. and was forced to tears by the chilling winds; went to skiing together and he forced his friend out of the racing track, and took a picture of him falling flat on his face; “Chef Xiao” had good culinary skills and he would always cook for gatherings.

While they were shooting on Xiang Mountains, there was a rice field nearby, and when filming ended early, on the evenings, Xiao Zhan would take Zang Hongna on a jog next to the fields to lose weight, some 10+km everyday, facing the sunset, it was especially beautiful, and even until this day they would still speak of those times, “That youthful feeling, is truly memorable.”

After “The Untamed”, work filled Xiao Zhan’s life. Almost everyone told us, they had not seen Xiao Zhan for a very long time. Yang Xia said, “Xiao Zhan is now someone without his own life.” This producer was very busy, the interview was held during lunchtime, she ordered two dishes, one vegetable and one meat, one set of sushi, and one set of dessert after the meal – her expectations for herself was that she would have a proper meal no matter how busy she was. But for Xiao Zhan, he did not even have time for a proper meal, “He is actually someone who loved delicious food, loved dessert, loved to pamper himself.”

He no longer posted much on Weibo, his fans saw that he longer shared much of his life, commented, “Online, offline, where is his space?”

His time with his friends were also spent more prudently, as long as Xiao Zhan returns to Chongqing, their meal routes would need to be carefully plotted out, to check if there were private rooms, would it be crowded, and if they really could not avoid it, they would instead stay at home; if they were unable to go to movie theaters, they would stay at home to watch movies they had downloaded for him prior.

Because he had no time, even meeting his family would be rushed. This year after the New Year, Xiao Zhan’s parents brought his grandmother to visit him in Beijing, and stayed for a total of 3 days, but because his work schedule was too full, he only managed to have two meals with them. From the end of filming of “The Oath of Love” until now, for 80+ days, he did not have a single day where he slept until he woke up naturally, he was too sleep deprived, the word he said the most everyday would be, “sleepy.”

Xiao Zhan attempted to hold on to his past, he did not change his Weibo account, what he told the media was that it was “troublesome”, but all his friends knew that he still wanted to have a bit of a commoner’s life.

He was not someone who liked to go out shopping, but now he felt, “Going out shopping makes me happy, just walking a bit on the streets, breath some fresh air, I can be very happy. I don’t have to buy anything, just walk a bit.” He did not want to lose the commoner life, “When you wake up, you realize, I need to put on make up, I need to perform, if everyday would be like this, this person is empty.”

In this swiftly transforming industry, he was someone who cherished his relationships, teacher Sun Hao would visit him on his set, he would have prepared green tea for him beforehand – even long after filming has ended for “Joy of Life”, he still remembered that teacher did not drink coffee. When teacher is leaving, even though it was all fans outside, and his teacher would tell him not to, he would still disregard those, “This dude would just send me out, quite a long way out.”

Yang Xia was also very touched by him, last year July was considered a crisis period for her, “The biggest ordeal of her life”, Xiao Zhan sensed the fluctuations in her emotions, did not really do anything especially, but spent time chatting with her everyday, that time “The Untamed” had long ended, but he still participated in every concert after. It was only later that Yang Xia realized, Xiao Zhan was having a hard time filming during that period, “I would definitely remember this favor, it was his biggest support for me.”

Xiao Zhan once expressed in an interview about lost friendships, and in that interview with Ma Weiwei, when they touched on this topic, he was silent for a long while, and when he spoke, he was slightly choked up.

The loss of innocence, but in this half year, he also grew rapidly. In the past, when he encountered issues, he would be slightly lost, “Ah? What can we do?” This time round when Zang Hongna attended Xiao Zhan’s birthday party, she found that he was calmer in handling many things, now it was an organized “one two three four”, and he would still remember to ask you: “Do you think handling this way would be slightly better?”

When she saw him, it was already 2a.m. at night, there were still a lot of fans gathered in the hotel lobby, she knocked and opened the door, Xiao Zhan opened his arms and embraced her, that hug was long, there were a lot of staff around them, they did not say anything, she felt that Xiao Zhan was very tired, that hug was like a friend replying – “You know me.”

Wilderness

When filming on the Xiang Mountains, Xiao Zhan would almost run in the wild fields everyday. The sky is very blue, he would often be in the midst of waves of rice stalks. From afar, the short and rolling green hills, the breeze quietly blows over, he did not need to think of anything. Till now, his friends would still keep some of his video clips of the wild fields he shot – often it would be the sunset, the sound of the winds, the rustling sounds of leaves brushing against one another, the man who was filming held his breath, the scene slowly panned up from the wild fields, sometimes you could hear sounds of thunder from far away. The scene remained serene, he remained calm as he stood in the middle of the wild fields.

At that point in time, his troubles were simple – it was the confusion of a young man had, regarding his future. Chen Yushan remembered that Xiao Zhan would always like to chat with the others while they were not filming – he had a lot of emotions, such as not knowing where his future laid, how to position himself after “The Wolf”. Chen Yushan would always laugh, “A child’s troubles.” She would tell Xiao Zhan, “No matter how bad the situation is, you have to continue acting, like what you are doing in ‘The Wolf’, you have to do your very best, this is the only thing you can do.”

These words comforted him. At night, everyone went to the seaside to stargaze, he played a bit then rested on the beach, imagining who he would become, what he would be doing. Xiao Zhan positioned himself as a “entertainment business wage-earner”, Zang Hongna still remembered till this day, he said in a very serious tone, “Since I’ve chosen this industry, then I’ll do my best.”

What he faces now, is the rapidly multiplying complexity in this new world. Many things, he would have to face them alone. His friends said, in this process, he displayed extraordinary stress endurance and astonishing resolve. For example, low-key setting up his own studio, designing a new logo, which is a full and aggressive “Zhan” (TN: which in Chinese means “War”).

Almost everyone we interviewed expressed their worries for him, they very much wanted to show their concern for him, but at the same time they were worried about bothering him, and many of them were silently supporting him in their own ways. Director Sun Hao would watch his shows, worry about his student, “The part on him going for lighting adjustments himself, should we not write it in? Once we set up this expectation of him, then he might have to do that for every single drama in the future, that would be too tiring.”

Whereas for Xiao Zhan himself, he was very clear, that he faced another real question: For his next drama, what kind of script should be take on? Works are the most important. The scripts that found him previously, he did not have to consider, he just had to capture the opportunity and take it on. Now the biggest question was how to choose, there were many scripts he had on hand, most of them were for him to become a “Prince Charming”, but he did not want to restrict himself in such roles, hence ABCDE, what should he choose?

On his birthday last year, his good friend sent him well wishes with only 4 words, “be well, be stable” – be well meant for him to stay healthy and not tire himself out; be stable meant for him to remain steady after gaining popularity for half a year, becoming “famous”, and hoped for him not make wrong choices as much as possible.

For now, it seemed that Xiao Zhan is steady. He is always decent and polite in facing every appearance, seriously treating every job. After slowly adjusting to this circle, he felt that that many things did not seem as difficult as he thought it would be. “Many moments in life, we have to learn to compromise with life. People need to grow up, continuously make adjustments, improvements. As long as it does not affect our base principles, I think we can compromise, we can take exception to it, it does not change our principles, as long as we still hold on to our very initial intent unchangingly.

Xiao Zhan is not a man without ambition. Many people had brought up the “aggressiveness” in him. Chen Yushan liked this “aggressiveness”, she saw it as a form of ambition, and also a form of self expectation. “But he will not easily display his ambition, this you would have to provoke him to show it.” She used a snowy white fox as a metaphor to describe Xiao Zhan, “He is very smart, he will only show you what you expect to see of him.” The aggressive part of him, would be hidden beneath his polite and gentlemanly exterior.

Yang Xia had a very deep impression of Xiao Zhan’s resilience. Xiao Zhan was a newcomer and lead actor that suddenly came out of nowhere, but yet when he was filming “The Untamed”, there was never a need to worry about him. He had stress, but that stress did not fully result from the job, there was also his refusal to admit defeat, “It was his own self expectations, gave himself some pressure and push. Hence he will set self targets, then he will work towards to that target.”

This was very similar to the role he acted as, Wei Wuxian. “Even if he is in the Burial Grounds, he will also think, shall we grow potatoes or shall we grow radish, I also want to grow some lotus flowers and lotus roots. I feel that Xiao Zhan also has this resilience, and for an actor, this is a very core quality.”

Chen Yushan always remembered that moment: when “The Wolf” was shooting the character costume photographs, she was standing there, and a clean boy walked towards her, with some stubble on his face, just like how she hoped it would be, his appearance, just gave everyone the feeling of the wilderness behind him.

This was Xiao Zhan’s first important role, his wilderness started from this point forth.

Portrait vs Xiao Zhan

Innocence, to be forever passionate and innocent.

Portrait = P Xiao Zhan = X

On Growing Up

P: You said that you grew up in a typical Chinese family, what made you feel that it was typical?

X: My father had a strong presence, and very strict expectations, since young he educated me to be considerate, to earn others’ respect by my own virtues, just this, is very Chinese. My mother’s very homely, very dependent on him. I was almost beaten from young, both of them, just all kinds of beatings, after my mother knocked off she will do it, until my father knocked off, when she’s tired he’d continue.

P: How was your fiercest resistance against your parents like?

X: We are Chongqing people, hence our voices are especially loud, every time when I argue with my mother, we would attract all kinds of attention. I felt that we argued quite frequently. The fiercest, let me think, I already couldn’t remember why we argued, actually it also wasn’t something big, probably something about wanting to play on the computer instead of doing homework, or watch television. It was especially rowdy, until my mother smashed stuff, and then cried, at the time I was like, aiyo, now that I recall, I just feel that how could something this small become such an argument? Just quite regretful.

P: At what point did you change, realize that you should grown up or become sensible?

X: When I went to University, first time staying in hostel. Because previously I always commuted to school, the school was 15min away, stayed at home everyday, met my parents everyday, this kind of lifestyle, how could there be no friction. When my parents sent me off to university, I still remember till now, my father drove me there, for the first time I understood the emotions in the short story “Back View” (TN: A short story by Zhu Ziqing) meant, finally understood the meaning it was trying to express. They bid farewell to me, said we’ll bring you till this point, and I’m leaving with your mother, as they walked back to the parking space, I saw their back view, and I felt that I’ve grown up, they were really growing old. At that moment, I said that I should become sensible, and stop making them angry.

P: Actually your ambition as a child was to be an artist, do you still draw now?

X: If I had time, including the previous times while filming, if there weren’t much scenes, when it wasn’t as tightly scheduled, I would draw using my mobile phone, iPad, it’s fun,  just graffiti, for example I saw a moon I would draw that down, it didn’t take too much time, half an hour, but it was a feeling, something at that moment in time.

Today I saw a tree, felt that that tree was especially beautiful, the feeling of it swaying in the wind, Spring has arrived, not sure if it was because that I drew since young, I think I can sense that quite well, able to capture some scent of nature, I feel that Spring has the scent of Spring, Summer has the scent of Summer, Fall has the scent of Fall, Winter has the scent of Winter. I don’t know where or when this scent comes, but if it comes, I would definitely feel it.

P: I understand that the sensation you just said, is in fact an immersive experience, you would really immerse yourself because of something.

X: Because I realized that to like is important, passion is important, if you have to do something you dislike very much, then it becomes an ordeal. Work is the same, at least to my personality, if you make me sit in that office from day till night, handling some documents, I might feel that I couldn’t do it, I will breakdown. There may be people who like this type of peaceful life, but for me I don’t think I can.

On Joining the Entertainment Business

P: From a commoner joining the entertainment business, your life has changed abruptly.

X: Yes, hence I keenly experienced the journey of someone, who had lived 25 years as a commoner, suddenly dragged into such an industry.

P: Debuting at 25, to you, do you feel pressured and bothered when you see that the competitors were all younger than you?

X: No, I often feel that I am still quite young. It’s just like someone asked me, what do you think youthfulness is like? I feel that youthfulness is not about age, it’s not about the 16 year old me would be very youthful, of course a 16 year old is a youth, obviously, the age is 16 years old, but youthfulness? Unconfirmed.

P: What do you understand youthfulness to be?

X: I think youthfulness is that energy, just an energy to keep moving forward, unyielding, undefeated, fearless. It’s just you don’t know what the future holds, even if I know that the path ahead isn’t all bright and sunny, but if this path is where I need to go, I would still go, and tell myself that I would be better in the future. I feel that this passionate feeling is youthfulness. Innocence, we have to be forever passionate and innocent, really. If you position yourself as a mature person, then it’ll be too difficult.

P: What have you done that made you feel that you have that youthfulness?

X: I think entering this industry is quite “youthful”, just that energy to keep going.

P: But when you were entering this industry, did you feel torn?

X: Not torn, why do I have to feel torn, instead of saying that I didn’t feel torn, it’s more like I didn’t have time to feel torn, I just had to move forward.

P: After becoming part of a boy group in 2015 till 2016, you actually had a period of time where you didn’t have much work.

X: Stillness, it was stillness. After the end of the talent search show, there was just a period of emptiness, but I didn’t really stop for that period of time, I still kept on doing some things.

P: Did you hope for that period to quickly end then?

X: Actually I didn’t, how strange. In fact that period wasn’t too long, complete emptiness was just that three to four months time, but that period of time I went to classes, dance classes, performance classes. The remaining time I stayed at home, ate salad, and jogged at night.

P: When you look back, do you think that this emptiness was tough?

X: When you ask me to look back at those days, I don’t think they were tough. They were just days, there wasn’t any connotation with them, they weren’t sweet, but they weren’t bitter either. If you ask me not to work for three or four months now, I will feel that would be hell, but at that time I didn’t feel anything, what I wanted to do was to properly lose weight, and do well in my classes.

P: After becoming famous, you did not change your Weibo account name, why?

X: There was no change because I didn’t feel there was a need. Nothing about whether what can be shown or not. At the time, in the 2010s, that was how I was, I am very open, I don’t think there’s anything. Moreover, it stands to show that I am not the nice guy that everyone thinks I am, just a vivid person, I don’t think I am a perfect person, I also don’t want to be a perfect doll.

P: What do you understand of yourself?

X: I am quite aware of who I am. Because of my looks, I don’t think I can be the stunning kind, I just make others feel comfortable, that’s all. All kinds of skills, not especially expert in them, hence I won’t go, and I won’t want to be that kind of perfect idol, I don’t think there’s a need. Just being real, if I want to go shopping, I’ll go shopping, If I want to have a meal with my friends, I’ll have a meal with my friends, so what if they snap pictures of me? I hope everyone can see a lively Xiao Zhan. There was this opinion about me that I liked very much, that I am a brother-next-door within reach, but at the same time still very dazzling, this is the condition that I like.

P: Do you care about being real?

X: It’s like many interviews would always provide an executive summary, I would just ask, is there anything we need to specially look out for? Then you just tell me those questions, and the others I won’t read, otherwise isn’t this as good as being scripted, then how can you answer truthfully. Hence I feel that to me, if there needs to be a good answer, it has to be something I reckon with, something I can feel.

On Performance

P: When you just entered acting, what kind of state was it?

X: That time I was in an extremely self-doubting state, just couldn’t find myself, I felt that I couldn’t find how to freely express myself in front of the camera, to craft that character, I was in pain for a very long time. I really, instead of saying lost, actually I think I was just very, very naive, and not really naive, it was just very one-dimensional. At that point in time my life experiences, or say, my understanding of the acting career, was too one-dimensional, too flimsy, there weren’t multi-facades to it.

P: When you did design previously, you could control it, but now as an actor, it was totally foreign?

X: When I first acted, I broke down. I still remember, when in Shangri’la filming “The Wolf”, there was a crying scene, very cold, on the highlands, it was a night scene, and it still had to rain, I just could not cry, and I really could not cry, I almost wanted to strangle myself. Director Chen Yushan also came over to comfort me, she’s from Taiwan, especially gentle, said it’s alright, if you can’t cry today, we won’t film this today.

I say no no, how can we stop filming because of me. One team, if they stop because of you, it is actually a huge loss. I thought in my heart, no no no, no way no way, what can I do? Just kept trying to nurture the emotions, again and again, the whole night, I really could not cry.

P: So it wasn’t a finally you succeed story?

X: That whole night, I don’t think I performed what they expected, then we called it for the night, when we went back, director Chen Yushan messaged me, it’s alright, we will do it the next day, the next day, we were done in one take, I think that I just had the right condition. I really depend a lot on condition, because to me, I don’t have much technique, if I have it, I have it, if I don’t, I don’t, some actors would use some techniques to help them, I just bite the bullet, that is something I have to strengthen after, because I really depend too much on my emotions, when I have the emotions I can be very good, when I don’t, even if you beat me to death I still don’t have it.

P: Then why was it done in one take the next day?

X: I don’t know, just fused into the character.

P: This type of defeat, did you ever encounter them as a designer?

X: Never encountered. After I go back everyday when filming “The Wolf”, I would directly lie on the bed, with my makeup still on, lie down and stare the ceiling, I could lie down for like 20mins, then get up to remove the makeup.

P: What were you thinking of when you laid down?

X: I actually don’t know what I was thinking, that period of time was quite pressurizing, not pressurizing, just quite upsetting, quite grey, because I want to do well, but I just can’t do it, that was actually the most upsetting.

P: But everyone might not have that much expectations of you because it was your first time acting.

X: Everyone was comforting me, but this type of comfort would actually make me more upset, everyone said it’s alright, it’s your first time acting, it is already very good, but the audience wouldn’t feel that they would let me off because it’s Xiao Zhan’s first time acting, of course not, it couldn’t be that when I’m acting there will be a small caption forever on the side of my face: it’s his first time acting. Impossible, since you took on this role, you have to be responsible to him.

P: When you encounter so much problems, do you feel like you want to run back to your comfort zone?

X: No, since I’m already here, then I won’t leave so easily, otherwise I won’t want to do it well, if I want to leave, it’s also because I want to leave, and not because I couldn’t continue. I can accept that I leave this industry, maybe one day I want to live a new life, I will leave. But it won’t be because I’ve encountered, for example while acting, I encountered a bottleneck, or say this role is very, very difficult, I will give up, no, I will bite the bullet and push through.

P: When did you feel that you have grown as an actor?

X: After filming “The Wolf”, I immediately felt that I’ve grown. That time I would always discuss with Li Qin and Zang Hongna, on when an actor would encounter his eureka moment, their “ding” inspiration moment. Of course I don’t know if I have had it, I don’t think I have yet, because there are still many possibilities, I can only say that at that time I truly improved, and in comparison with what I was before, it was a huge improvement.

P: To you, “The Untamed” was a huge turning point, did the producers feedback to you, what touched them, to select you for the role?

X: I did ask the producer, they said it was sincerity. Sincerity, this is a very amazing word. I feel that first and foremost, you have to be sincere, and then towards the character, you have to be passionate about it, you have to be really so in love with it, if you yourself can’t love your own character, then what you acted, how can the audience love it?

P: Producer Yang Xia said, you have your own understanding of Wei Wuxian, and you don’t want to give off a “turn evil” kind of feeling.

X: This point, we also discussed for quite long, this was the difficult part of this drama, because Wei Wuxian had already been revived, everyone likes to see, after he’s revived, what’s he going to do, but to which level?

The three months worth of pain in the Burial Grounds, only he himself knew, what’s supporting him is the faith that I must survive, for family, for friends, they are all waiting for me, hence I must survive, and then vengeance, I feel that that’s his only motivation for survival. But his roots are there, he had no sense of security since young, he yearns for family, he yearns for affection, he yearns for someone who can give him safe shelter, I feel that he is someone who severely lacks any sense of security, hence whether he came back with a huge vengeance, or came back with distaste for the world, I didn’t want to act that as turning evil, in my heart, he has never turned evil, he was just being pushed forward by the society, well the modern word is society, by the circumstances at that time, he is actually just a very pitiful person, he just had to do it.

On Professionalism

P: Many people said that they liked you because you are someone who truly went through workplace, and they could empathize with you.

X: Everyone would maybe find their own shadow on me, because it’s just very daily life, very vivid person. I did design previously, worked, had these common social experiences, so when you ask me to act as a white collar, I guess it would be easy for me (smile), because I understand how it felt squeezing the metro, rushing for time, I have to on time to punch in, that kind of feeling, I totally understand.

And then now becoming an artist, this process I also felt it’s surreal, I never thought about this before, if you ask me to look back, how did I come to this point, I also don’t know, it was just then the opportunity came, I grasped it. I feel that not only my current job needs to be like this, every job has to be so, when the opportunity strikes, you have to catch it.

P: When you were in the workplace, what did you want the most?

X: At that point in time, what I wanted, to be frank it’s very realistic, I want to win the bid. I must win the bid, I want my clients to see my logo, I feel that everyone should have this kind of ambition. Of course this kind of ambition doesn’t mean that I will do evil, I just want to do the best of myself.

Till now I still remember, when we were still small-time designers, we would sit in a row, everyone could see what everyone else was doing, it was a healthy competition, all were youngsters, all won’t admit defeat, just wanted to be the best. I believe everyone should have that mentality, then you could do your best, and then a company would do well.

P: Because it was a competition, when discussing, would you have some reservations about sharing?

X: No, because I think a healthy environment is very important, everyone is actually fighting with their hard skills, because what you are doing, the monitor is right there, how to hide? When you walk over, I minimise it? Impossible. Everyone is open, it’s just about ability, about tastes, also about idea, it’s subjective, if the client likes it, they like it, if they don’t, no matter how well you do it, he won’t like it.

P: So you are someone who is very competitive?

X: When I was young, for drawing I must win awards, because when I get an awards there would be “bragging rights”, including when I see my parents being proud, I would also feel proud of myself, just competitive, this is actually competitiveness. My competitiveness comes from me doing something, and if I do it well, I would be proud of myself. In workplace, this sense of pride would be say, this logo is worth how much, that’s my sense of pride, it’s actually quite similar to acting, that’s the pride you get when you gain recognition for your work, that kind of self-confidence.

P: Did you ever thought of what would happen if you never entered the entertainment industry?

X: I do think of that sometimes, if time would reverse and I entered that university that I wanted, would my life after that be still the same? Probably not, probably I might be still in the design industry, I could be broken down crying in a random train. That is very possible, isn’t it? There is so much stress in the current working class, housing prices are so high, children’s education fees are so expensive.

P: Maybe corporation slave? (TN: Comes from the Japanese word Shachiku, someone who works as though they are living for the company.)

X: Could also be a top designer corporation slave. A different live I guess, hence I feel this is somewhat fated, since I’m here, I’ll be content with here.

P: So you are content with your current status?

X: I am very content, what else should I be discontent about, I am very content. I am now very content with my status, but I think I could be better, there are still many areas waiting to be explored, whether it is acting or singing, every area, I think I can still explore.

P: A lot of people’s opinion of you is that you are clear headed, and you did not lose yourself even after your sudden burst to fame.

X: I think that might have to do with experience, after experience what true society is like, hence I don’t need, and I don’t want all these fake things. Everyday I always tell myself, today is not good, this is not good, that is not good, everyone would comfort me, and say that it’s quite good, this and that, I said I know whether it’s good or not, just clear headed, actually like what I just said, whether there are people around you who will flatter you, those are not important, what’s important is yourself.

P: After entering this industry, do you feel that you’ve become more complex?

X: I don’t think becoming complex is a bad thing, to me, I’m already 29, a person have to continuously grow, to survive in this society, you have to learn to become complex, staying naive and rash, is in fact not very suitable. Being kind and becoming complex are not mutually exclusive. A complex person maybe is that he will consider a lot of things, to me, I am very mindful of how others feel, before I say anything, I would consider how others will feel when I say it, will I make them uncomfortable, or if I directly point out something he did not do well, will it make him awkward. That is a question that a complex person would consider, it is multi-facade, it is layered, but it does not mean that this person is not kind, it’s not innocent. People are all multi-facade, I don’t think there is anything bad, but just that we must persist on our very initial simplicity and kindness.

P: What is it you hope to do in the future?

X: That is I’m envious, envious of some actors who at a young age, already have a famous work under their belt, a piece of work with great influence, I am envious. But I don’t envy that feeling of being supported by a lot people, because I don’t aim for that. Of course I am thankful that there are so many people who like me now, but this is not the only thing I am aiming for, what I like is, I want to have a good piece of work, so that everyone will remember me, that is what I really want, and what I really want to do.

P: How to quantify a good piece of work?

X: I think able to astonish everyone, of course that astonishment, I think is also subjective, but I feel that at least a professional, would able to professionally judge a piece of work.

P: As an actor, what is it about this job that fascinates you and makes it hard to leave?

X: It does not have something that fascinates me, but what makes it hard to leave is that I really want to act, I don’t know why I am so obsessed with this, I want to meet another good role, just that kind of role that makes me blend into another person’s life, I’m so “high” on this, because I feel that Xiao Zhan’s life is just like this, at least for now, I am unable to go through another life of frivolity.

P: So what is Xiao Zhan’s life like now?

X: Just like this, what you all can see, work, work. Can I still go and live through some crazy life? When I mean crazy I mean those that are a bit more like drama or movie characters, their life experiences, those are the ones I cannot experience now, but I can experience them in acting, that is very “high”, when acting I can do anything. Because I am no longer me, you want me to be drunk and lying on the streets I can, because I am him.

P: What words do you wish to hear when people discuss the person Xiao Zhan?

X: That he is really, doing things intently.

P: Affirming your attitude?

X: Attitude is important, but the results are too.

[youjustwaitsunshine]

Seb helmets: country specific edition

Japan 2019/China 2018/Japan 2016: i am at war with the "suzuka" on top of the japan 2019 helmet but i immensely enjoy the lil ninja that is featured on many of the japanese helmets. The smokey/burned design on the china helmet? A BEAUT. i love it a lot.

Styria 2020: are you a topographical map of styria on sebastian vettels helmet because i am so fucking in love with you holy shit it's so beautiful and distinguished and intellectual and i love it especially the lil blue holo bit.

Japan 2017: handpainted. beautiful. back at it with the number five on top. lil ninja is there. SUCH a beautiful helmet.

Monaco 2016: that leather look does something to me. Extremely beautiful, i might weep. daniil kvyats mugello? helmet reminded me of this and i love jens munser for using this again because ITS SO BEAUTIFUL

Monaco 2017: seb had a beautiful win in this one, please note the "five" on top because i am so in love with it. also noteworthy are the powder coated ferrari logo screws because hmmmmgh detailing so sexy and the number five classic race car and for once the font isnt ugly and-

Japan 2017: another hand drawn helmet and oh god is she amazing that helmet has so much character and expression and ugh it's very close to absolute perfection

Mexico 2015: this one isn't really country specific but it belongs here because of its exquisite vibes. ferrari history, hand drawn in pencil. this is so beautiful i can not. kudos to who ever drew all that for not smudging the pencil i could never.

Brazil 2013: vibes of a 2020 racing point poster. i love it, very exciting, very lively.

Japan 2013: a dream in cherry blossom. bordering on overbearing but that's just what red bull seb was all about, red bull sebs helmets were like a early teens one direction shrine poster wall and i think thats very sexy of him

USA 2012: im actually not a massive fan of these weird texture prints but this one is so funny to me because SV: Texas Ranger please that mental image i am not okay

little addition: sebs mugello helmet should be here too but theres no good photos on the sebsite so please imagine it instead

back to masterpost

[prettyyoungandbored]

Becoming Mrs. Wayne [The Dark Knight] Four

Pairing: Christian Bale!Bruce Wayne x OC

Summary: Demetria Gallagher knew her cozy life would change the second she became engaged to Bruce Wayne. But what she doesn’t know is she’s getting more than what she agreed to. (I am trash at summaries.)

Warning: None

Taglist: @dragonballluver (Let me know if you want to be tagged in this!)

Previous

“27 down is ‘falafel.” 

Alfred looked up, shooting a glare at Demetria. Her lips curved into a childish grin. 

“The bloody hell is a falafel?” he asked, unamused at the word. 

“It’s a fried ball made up of chickpeas and beans. It’s actually delicious.” 

He shook his head. “You Americans and your fried food.” He returned his gaze back down to the Gotham City crossword. Demetria snuck another glance at the crosswords, looking for another one she knew right off the bat. 

“14 across is ‘David Cassidy.’” 

The old man shot her another dirty look. She shrugged her shoulders, desperately trying to hold in her laugh. “I’m sorry.” 

Across the yacht, Bruce shifted his attention from the newspaper he was reading and watched the two with an amused smile on his lips. None of the girls he ever brought home acknowledged Alfred (with the obvious exception of Rachel) and if they did it was to ask for something. Demetria had made an effort to get to know and befriend the old man, knowing how much Alfred meant to Bruce. Their friendship and playful banter was something Bruce could get used to for years and years to come. 

Demetria made eyes with Bruce and walked over to him, her white babydoll dress blowing with the wind. She pat his legs, motioning him to scooch over. He obliged and she curled up against him, propped up on his lap.

“You looked a little lonely over here,” she said. 

He smirked. “You pushed Alfred to his breaking point, didn’t you?”

“I forget how seriously that man takes his crossword puzzles.” 

The couple chuckled as Demetria played with Bruce’ slick back hair. The salty aroma filled her nose as the noise of waves crashing against the yacht filled her ears. 

“Feels so good out here,” she sighed. “Definitely one of your better ideas.”

“My better ideas? Since when did I ever have an idea that wasn’t good?”

“The one time you took me to that new restaurant and I got food poisoning.” 

He laughed, the memory coming back to him. She refused to let him see her in such a state, but he came over anyway to make sure she was hydrated and functioning. 

Needless to say, they never went back there and he owed her big time.

Bruce lifted the newspaper up and continued reading, Demetria reading along with him. 

“Anything interesting going on back home?” she asked. 

“Nothing but the usual mobster activity and an editorial piece about the overwhelming amount of Batman copycats.” 

She hummed. “I can’t help but wonder if Batman feels bad about the copycats.”

“I’m sure it gets annoying after awhile.”

“Do you think he feels responsible for them?”

There are times he wants to tell her he’s Batman, but he wants to keep her away from that part of him. He’s been successful so far, why bother bringing her into it now?

Then she changed the subject.

“What’s this?” She pointed at a section of the paper. “‘Witnesses say clown robbed downtown city bank?’”

Bruce took a quick glance at it. “Must be about that bank robbery downtown from yesterday.” He looked over at her to find a disgusted look on her face. “What?”

“I just...clowns...ugh.” She shivered. “Doesn’t sit well with me.”

“You’re afraid of clowns?”

“How could you not be? They’re creepy. Didn’t you ever see ‘It’ or ‘Poltergeist’?”

He chuckled. “They’re not that bad.”

“Well they scare the shit out of me.”

“So I should cancel the clown I hired for our wedding?”

She slapped his arm. “You’re an ass.”

Bruce set down the newspaper. “Speaking of the wedding, I was wondering if you had any ideas or preferences in terms of location?”

She shook her head. “Zero. You?”

He cleared his throat. “I was thinking Wayne Manor.”

Her eyes lit up, a huge smile slapped across her face. “I would love that!”

“Really?” He cocked his head back.

“Yeah! I mean the property is beautiful, plus it’s something that would be comfortable and simple for us.” 

“You’re sure you want to do it at Wayne Manor?” Bruce asked. 

She ran her fingers through his hair. “Babe, we could go to city hall and get it done and I would still be the happiest woman alive. I don’t care how we get married, I just want to be with you.”

While he never needed a reminder of why he loved her, it was times like these that did. He’d never come out and say it, but underneath the wealth and the vanity he used to mask an protect his true self, he valued the simple things that money could never buy. Demetria shared those same values. Both longed for a quiet and intimate life together which was more than enough. 

“I only ask two things,” Demetria said. 

“Anything.” 

“One, we plan this together. This our day, not just mine and not just yours. It’s ours.” 

“Not an issue at all.” 

“Two, this wedding is as small as possible.” 

He wrapped his arms around her. “It’s done deal.” 

As they leaned in for a kiss, the sounds of the helicopter landing drew their attention from each other. They watched as it made a graceful landing. 

“The plan has arrived for you sir!” Alfred called out. 

Demetria pat Bruce’s knee as she got up. “Have fun breaking off this deal in China.” 

Bruce threw off his white shirt, handing it to her.  He grabbed the duffle bag and threw it overboard. 

“Please be careful, Bruce.” 

“For you, I will.”

He gave her a quick kiss before diving into the water. She watched as he swam over to the helicopter before climbing aboard.

She watched as the helicopter flew away before turning to Alfred. 

“What number are we on, Alfred?” 

“Eighteen across. The clue is ‘Get your own bloody crossword.’” 

_____________________________________________________________

A couple days later, Demetria found herself at the entrance to St. Swithin’s Home For Boys. She was grateful the orphanage had taken her call and allowed her to come visit. 

She made her way to front desk area, smoothing out her pants. She smiled at the elderly nun at the desk. 

“Hi, I’m Demetria Gallagher,” she greeted. 

The nun smiled back. “Hello there! We’ve been expecting you! My name is Sister Agatha. You’re here for the tour, correct?” 

“Yes! I was hoping to speak with the Mother Superior or Monsignor O’Malley.” 

“Unfortunately both were unable to make it due to prior commitments; however, they asked that Sister Mary Ellen give you the tour.” 

“Sounds great!”

“Please a seat while I phone her.” 

Demetria sat in the bench across from the desk, eyeing around the orphanage. It’s old age was definitely showing. She made mental notes of the broken down wood, the cracks in the wall, and the lingering dust. Her mother would love a project like this. 

“Miss Gallagher?” 

Demetria looked up to find a nun in her late thirties with kind brown eyes and a welcoming smile. “My name is Sister Mary Ellen. How do you do?” 

“Pleasure to meet you,” Demetria said reaching out her hand. 

Sister Mary Ellen shook it. “A pleasure to meet you as well. We’re so excited you’ve taken an interest in the orphanage.” 

“Bruce has told me so much about this place and I’ve always wanted to come see it for myself.” 

“The Wayne Family is such a big part of the orphanage’s history. Bruce has been so generous to us in the past.” 

Sister Mary Ellen first took her to the library, named in memory of Martha, Bruce’s mother. Despite it’s broken state, the walls were covered in old books stacked in the shelves. 

“Not a lot of boys spend time in here,” Sister Mary Ellen said. “We’ve been trying to get them to, but some are harder to persuade than others.” 

“Understandable,” Demetria assured.

Next was the kitchen, then the chapel, and then some of the dorms. While the building was historic, its structure and the components inside were out of date and almost out of function. 

There were a a good amount of kids staying in and they deserved a better home. 

“May I ask you something?” Sister Mary Ellen questioned. 

“Of course.” 

“There’s been a lot of talk amongst the nuns about what it is you plan to do and I just...well...what is your intention exactly?” 

Demetria chuckled. “It’s ok. I can completely understand the curiosity.” She sighed. “Bruce has always told me how much this place has meant to him, especially after the death of his parents. I know it’s hard for Bruce to give attention to this place and so I wanted to step in and make sure you’re getting not only what you and the boys need, but what you deserve. You all deserve to be living in better conditions and I can guarantee you Bruce agrees with me.” 

“What is it you can do for us?” Sister Mary Ellen asked. 

“My mother works as an interior designer and would be more than happy to help redecorate. I also know a lot of people who can help make sure this place is functioning properly and is up to all health code standards. I want to make sure you all are taken care of and are given the attention you all deserve.” 

Sister Mary Ellen couldn’t help but smile. “What about finances? I know the monsignor and Mother Superior would ask to be kept apprised.” 

“They would be. That’s something I’m currently working on, but I want to know what I’m at least working with here.” She smiled. “Although, my mother would do this for free. I know that for certain.” 

Sister Mary Ellen chuckled. “Let me take you outside.” 

She led Demetria to playground where Demetria noticed four boys playing basketball. She couldn’t help but notice that no matter how hard they tried to dunk the ball in the chain basket, they kept missing. 

“May I?” Demetria asked. 

“By all means.” 

Demetria made her way over to the boys. One boy had black hair with blue eyes, another was African-American with glasses, another boy had blonde hair and freckles, and one with brown hair with glasses.   

“Hey guys!” Demetria greeted.

The boys stopped and looked at her. “You guys playing basketball?” 

They looked at each other, confused and unsure what to say. She cleared her throat. “My name’s Demetria.” 

“I’m Travis,” the boy with black hair said. 

“I’m Jonathan,” the African-American boy said. 

“I’m Reid,” the boy with blonde hair said. 

“I’m Harry,” the boy with brown hair said. 

“Nice to meet you all,” Demetria said. “So what are we playing here? One-on-one or Horse?”

“Just some one-on-one,” Reid answered with a shrug. 

“You know how to play?” Harry asked. 

“A little. My dad was a high school basketball coach so he taught me a few things. Can I see the ball?” 

Travis passed her the ball. She dribbled it for a bit before shooting the ball into the basket. The boys stared in amazement, letting out some “whoa”s. 

“Alright, so who wants to be able to dunk a ball?” she asked. 

They all raised their hands. “That’s exactly what I thought. Ok so watch my hands.” 

She picked up the ball and demonstrated the throw with her hand. “See the way my hand curves, like I’m flicking my wrist? Try that.” 

Reid took the ball first. He dribbled the ball before throwing it up. The ball went through the basket. The boys cheered. 

“See? That was awesome!” Demetria said. She held up her hand for a high five which he reciprocated. “Alright, who’s next?” 

Harry went up and threw the ball, making it into the basket. 

“Way to go dude!” Demetria cheered, the two high diving. “Who’s next?” 

Jonathan went up and threw the ball, the ball circling the basket before falling off. Demetria caught it and threw it back to him, seeing the dejected look on his face. 

“You almost got it. Try again.” She smiled at him. 

He gave her a nod. He tossed the ball up, this time the ball landing into the basket. The boys and Demetria cheered. 

“See! You got it!” she said. 

They high fived and Jonathan passed the ball to Travis. Travis dribbled before the ball hit the back of the basket. The ball came back toward him as he caught it, tossed it again and then tossed the ball inside the basket. 

The other boys and Demetria cheered. 

“Ok, ok,” Demetria said. “Now you guys trying playing.” 

The boys then began playing one-on-one, Demetria coaching them and cheering them on. She couldn't help but feel her dad would be proud of her. Sure, she wasn’t an athlete, but she learned a lot from watching him coach from the sidelines all these years. 

She then saw Reid pass the ball to her. “Your turn,” he told her. 

She smiled. “Alright.” 

She dribbled the ball before tossing it into the basket. She grabbed the ball and said, “Who’s next?”

“What’s going on here?” 

Demetria turned around to see Bruce walking over. Her smile grew. “Just playing some basketball.” 

She watched as the boys’ eyes stayed on Bruce, wide in amazement and wonder. He acknowledged them with a warm smile before gazing at Demetria. 

“Tell me, boys, how she doing?” he asked. 

The responded, each voice overlapping the other. 

“She’s pretty good.” 

“She’s good.” 

“Pretty good.”

“Good.”

Demetria tossed the ball to Bruce as he caught it in his hands. “Let’s see you’ve got, Wayne,” she challenged playfully. 

“Those are fighting words,” he responded, dribbling the ball a bit. 

He turned his back to her and tossed the ball as it went into the basket. The boys cheered and clapped as Bruce turned to her, throwing his hands up. 

She folded her arms across her chest. “It was just a lucky shot.” 

Bruce looked over to one of the boys. “Can I have the ball, please?” They tossed him the ball. He showed it to Demetria. “Why don’t you try and steal it, Gallagher?” 

Demetria went over to him as he lifted the ball from her. She jumped, spiking it from his hands. Jonathan caught it and tossed it back to her. She went to shoot it into the basket when Bruce spiked it out of her her hand and picked her up swinging her around. 

“Are you kidding me?! I almost had it!” Demetria screamed. 

It was then something caught her eye. A figure watching them from across the street. 

“Hold on, hold on,” she told Bruce. 

He stopped, eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong?” 

“Give me a sec. I think I see something.” 

She walked toward the gate, getting a closer look at the figure. It was a caucasian male with a black baseball cap that said ‘Gotham Times’ on it and a tee and jeans with a bulky vest. Across his neck, a camera. 

“What the hell are you doing?” she called out to him. “There’s kids here!” 

The man reached up to his camera as she continued to get closer. 

“Stop it!” she growled. “Stop!

Bruce rushed over to her, pulling her away. “Demetria, don’t.”

She turned to him. “He’s photographing the kids! He can’t be doing that!” 

“Listen, we’ll take care of this when we get home,” he told her. “Right now, just ignore him. The more you go after him, the worse it’s going to be.” 

She ran a hand through her hair. “There has to be a line drawn, Bruce.” 

“We’ll take care of it home, alright?” 

She nodded her head. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” He kissed her forehead. “You were protecting the kids. It’s gonna be ok. We’ll fix this.” 

He rubbed her arms. “Let’s go back, ok?” 

“Ok.” 

She took one more look at the photographer before walking away. Bruce had a point, they were going to take care of it. 

She was going to take care of it. 

[baekhypnotized]

drive me crazy [M]

it’s a just normal occasion that baekhyun brought you out for a dinner with one of his partner. everything was perfect at the first but when his friend mentioned about his rival, he became intense. on the way back home, you decided to make him relieve his stress, made him go crazy.

GENRE: smut, romance, oneshot

PAIRING: byun baekhyun x you/fem reader

WARNING(S): fingering, oral, handjob, blowjob, car sex, dom!baekhyun, sub!reader

WORDS: 3.3k+

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I improvise this oneshot so I decided to post it out. But, I’m so sorry if my writing skills are still suck because I kinda having problems with my insecurities towards writing :( sorry for any common errors and for the bad smut oneshot too. will try to improve more in the future!! please leave some of your thoughts after reading this!! thank you in advance for dropping by and read!!

Byun Baekhyun is just a busy businessman, the greatest CEO in the city as he owns almost all of the shares in Byun Corporation which it's his family company. At a very young age, he became the Chairman just because his father fell sick as he was unable to contribute himself into his hectic schedules or not, he will get a heart attack due to high blood pressure.

Instead, Baekhyun took the biggest role among his siblings because his eldest, Baekbeom, is busy handling their company in China plus he already has two children and it does make sense that Baekhyun is the most perfect one to take the position other than his close relatives.

But, here you are, always be by his side to support him no matter what happens. Even though Baekhyun said you are his pillar of strength in his life, he is your source of light. He shines brightly in your life the moment he came in the first place. The one who taught you that life doesn't only revolve around you, where problems can be solved even if it takes thousands of years. That man helps you a lot to realise that you’re that kind of person who deserves to live in this world.

"Babe..." A soft tone calling you.

Currently, you are reading your book on the bed with Baekhyun, sleeping soundly beside me as he hugs your lap lazily like a child. You divert your gaze to him, stroking your fingers through his messy, fluffy permed hair full of adoration. Putting aside your book on the bedside table, you bend your body with your arm supporting your head. You continue to stroke his hair softly, trying to coax him from his exhaustion.

Baekhyun's eyes are still tightly shut but his cute snores have turned into several sighs. He had a sleepless night before, busying himself into meetings with shareholders, business partners and also piles of paperwork.

"Yes, Baekhyun?" You reply to his call.

"I’m fucking tired..." He confesses and again, he leaves out a huge sigh. Your lips tilt into a small smile before you plant a soft kiss on his crown a little bit longer, hoping it will soothe him a bit.

"I know, baby. I know. Have some rest, hmm?"

"I can't. We can't. We have dinner with my business partner from London, remember?" He replies. You almost forgot that he told you two days before that he's going to bring you together with him to the dinner since he wants to introduce you as someone who's the most important to him to them. But, right now, you would want to force him to stay at home instead, telling them he will not be able to join the dinner since he's sick or something. Baekhyun can pay all the expensive dishes for his business partners just to give him the bill.

Yet, he's not the kind of person that you know.

Baekhyun is a responsible man, always prioritises and cares about his company more than himself because he wants his dad to be proud of him but of course, his dad is already proud of him no matter what. His dad once told you to always remind him to not immerse himself too much in this business because at once, he will never have thoughts about his health. Like the one that his parents believe in, you moved into his apartment after you graduated from your university and since then, you are the one who's taking care of everything about him.

"But Baekhyun..." You are about to fight him when he suddenly cuts you off with placing his soft lips on yours, indulging into a long, passionate kiss. Baekhyun brings his calloused hands to cup your cheeks, tilting his head a bit to devour your wet cavern deeper. Involuntarily, both of you sit up, as you are wrapping your hands around his neck while he pulls you to sit on his lap. The two of you drown into the long kiss, able to replace all the kisses that you guys were supposed to exchange always for the past few days when he was busy.

He breaks the kiss, tugging a strand of your hair that is hiding your face behind the ear. Your heart flutters as you could feel your face flush. "I’m sorry for not being with you for the past few days, babe. I'll make it up to you later." He lifts your chin up to look into his eyes straightly, "Cross my heart."

You bob your head several times, placing your head slowly on his broad chest as you inhale your favourite scent of his that gives you comfort somehow. Baekhyun places his chin on your head, caressing your hands adoringly as the two of you stay in this position for a few minutes before starting to prepare for tonight's dinner.

He wears a royal blue tuxedo, pairing with a silver metallic wristwatch from Rolex and his hair was combed nicely, making him look the hottest tonight. As for you, you wear a short satin silk dress in also royal blue colour to match with his tuxedo. You dangled a pair of crystal blue earrings and also a wonderful expensive necklace that Baekhyun bought for you together with the dress. You slip yourself into blue high heels and bring your pouch to the dinner.

Baekhyun prefers to drive his Black Audi Rs7 rather than having his private driver to drive the two of you to the restaurant. The interior of the car was designed beautifully as it suits well with him. Maybe that's why he prefers driving his favourite car. And whenever he drives the car while using only one hand on his steering, somehow he looks so magnificent. Every time he focuses on the road, he slides his other hand to intertwine with your hand, planting a kiss on the back of your hand. That small action can make your heart beats like there's no tomorrow.

Baekhyun makes you fall in love with him every second of the time.

When the both of you arrive at the restaurant as he parks his car, Baekhyun guides you to the private dining room that he reserved by placing his hand behind your waist, keeping you close to him because there were a lot of people on our way as he’s afraid of losing me among the crowds.

"Baekhyun!" A man who looks like in our age greets him from afar as the two of you go closer to the table. Baekhyun sincerely greets his business partner with a warm hug while you shake hands with his escorts.

"Finally, you’re here in Korea! Let's take our seats, shall we?" Baekhyun invites all of us to take our seats as I land myself sitting right beside him. Baekhyun comfortably places his hand on your thigh, caressing it. You do have fear as you would become so nervous with strangers but thanks to him, you feel calm and giving a bright smile across your face.

"Jack, let me introduce you to my favourite girl," He introduces your name to his business partner as you lift yourself from your seat to shake hands politely with Jack.

"Nice to meet you! Baekhyun often tells me about you!" Jack says that cause you to flush. The thoughts of Baekhyun mentioning you to his friends make you blush because obviously he wouldn’t stop doing it as he in love with you. Like deeply.

The waitress comes to your table, handing the menu booklet to each everyone. Once you open the menu to take a look at the choices, you are stupefied by staring at the price. It was extremely pricey that makes you gulp a large lump in your throat.

"Baby, order anything that you want," He murmurs, pats your thighs to assure you to choose anything that you want. Well, he's too rich to pay for the dishes for sure. After the four of you guys order the food, Baekhyun and Jack start to discuss the business while me and Maria (Jack's escort) exchange stories about our countries.

You sneakily take a few glances on Baekhyun, feeling ease seeing him laughing out loud when Jack tells him some jokes. You are very delighted to see him in this way even when he talks about his company's business. The qualms that you worry finally lessen slowly.

The food expressly arrives after a few minutes but as usual for women, Maria and you take pictures of the dishes first, leaving the men snorting silently as they are watching both of you. After a few shots, the four of you finally devour the dishes. For real, the foods are so mouth-watering, making all of you guys busy indulging the good food silently and focus.

"Anyway, do you know that Park Corporation is currently trying to win some of our shareholders' attention?" Jack asks, causing Baekhyun to stop swallowing his food. You can see his face becomes tighter and the facial expression becomes serious and intense.

"Really? Has he succeeded then?" He asks in return. Baekhyun, trying his best to not spoil the dinner, casually continues to cut his beef.

"Our shareholders' grip strongly on our trust, Baekhyun. But you know how determined he is, trying to let your business down..." Jack expresses it slowly, understanding that Baekhyun also has his own temper that he needs to control when it comes to his company.

Baekhyun grabs his expensive wine, gulping it, "No worries, we will never lose them." He replies with a small smile, trying to not make Jack worry about the current situation. "Let's finish this up, guys. It's getting late already."

The moment becomes silent because no one is brave enough to utter anything currently. Including you. you could only caress his thigh softly in circles, murmurs discreetly into his ears saying, "Everything's going to be fine, baek." You comfort him with a soft tone.

When the dinner ends, we bid goodbyes to Jack and Maria, inviting them for a tour later when they have more leisure time to visit Korea because Jack has a business that he needs to settle back in London, that's why they need to catch the next flight by tonight.

The drive back to the apartment continues to become silent. you hate this kind of moment when Baekhyun looks so scary and serious as you are afraid to talk to him. But you know, only you can break him through that intense moment between the both of us. Daringly, you travel your hand to his crotch, begin to massage his clothed members slowly but pleasurably, causing him to hiss softly.

Baekhyun tries his best to focus on the road, gripping the steering wheel tighter the moment you continue to massage his balls. You slip your hand into his pants and boxers, feeling his bare meat as you grip your fingers around his member. He’s so fucking thick. You take out his member freely from his pants, playfully playing with his red tip using your thumb pad in circles.

"B-baby.." He calls.

You ignore him, start pumping his shaft around your fingers by adding more pressure. Moans start to elicit out of his mouth. You continue to cup his big balls with your other hand, trying to make him crazy while you're working out with his cock with your hands. When the veins at his dick start to protrude as it starts to stand proudly and hard, a few pre-cums start to release. "Eyes on the road, Mr Byun."

You begin to engulf his whole long length into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down your mouth while taking a glance at his pleasurable face. You can finally taste his small amount of juices in your mouth. Moans and low grunts are escaping as Baekhyun slams his head back to the headrest. He tries his best to focus on the road, trying to avoid us from getting caught into an accident. You could see the visible veins decorating his throbbing dick.

It didn't take long before Baekhyun finally surrender . He purposely bucked his hips upwards, accidentally causing his tip to hit the back of your throat as you gag having his cock fully inside your wet cavern. You try your best to give him the pleasure that he wants since he loves it when you mercilessly give him the blowjob. Your tears start to prickle in the corner of your eyes each and every time Baekhyun's cock hits your throat as you are breathing heavily through your nose this time.

"F-Fuck... it feels so good, baby-" He mutters as he moans. The sounds of you gagging and choking yourself with his big cock is the music into his ears where he doesn't need to turn on the radio. But instead, listen to that drench and sloppy wet sounds that you’re making with his throbbing dick. You are speeding your pace to engulf his cock as it's abusing your mouth.

"I'm coming, baby..." Baekhyun warns you with his husky yet breathy voice. Before he succeeded in releasing his juices into your mouth, he parked the car safely, somewhere as it's a perfect place to hide the car from other people's sights.

Baekhyun tightens the grip on the steering wheel, causing his knuckles to turn into white the moment he releases his hot seeds into your wet cavern, leaving a loud gasp. You try so hard to gulp and swallow it quickly. He pulls you off from his cock, some of his seeds trail from your lips as you lick it off.

"You're such a bad girl. I was driving and you blow-jobbing me, huh?" Baekhyun cups my cheeks with his hand, holding them with a force as he stares into your eyes seriously.

Innocently, you nod your head.

"Are you already wet?" He asks.

"You need to find it out then," You arrogantly reply as you smirk. Spreading your legs wider, you invite his fingers to feel the wetness that already drench your panties after listening to his moans from previous sessions. Practically, your wetness is pooling at your core, dripping wet but still waiting for him to settle it.

Baekhyun chuckles huskily, bringing his fingers to cup your drench panties before he pulls it off, leaving your bare pussy revealed to the exposed air. You breathe heavily, with the thoughts are currently playing in your mind which are Baekhyun finger fucking your hole.

Baekhyun strokes his two fingers along your folds, caressing on it while his thumb abuses your swollen and sensitive nub. Your toes start to curl and you grunt softly. "What do you want me to do with you?"

"Fuck me with your fingers, please" You finally beg. Suddenly, he hardly pushes his 3 digits into your tight cunt, passing through the walls without any warning..

You start to squirm badly when he begins to thrust your pussy with his fingers as he continues to play with your swollen clit. Your eyes are shut, biting your lower lip to bear with the pleasure that he gives when he keeps poking your sensitive spot over and over with his fingers.

You grip tightly around the seatbelt but it's unable to make you stop squirming badly, feeling aroused having him sliding his digits in and out easily because of your wet juices as the lubrication.

"B-Baekhy- Faster-'' you command. In any minute, his eyes dilated, increased his thrusting and hit your spot non-stop. You pull his nape into a deep kiss, swallowing the moans as he slips his tongue to stroke the roof of your mouth.

You double over the gasp when he brings his mouth to your clit, sucking and licking it badly while his fingers continue to pump in and out of your pussy. He quickens his movements and fucks you faster with his digits. You can finally feel the build-up in your stomach as he rolls the bud between his lips. The string of arousal finally snaps. You let out a loud mewl. You grip your fingers hard around the seatbelt, squeezing your legs together with Baekhyun lodges his face between your thighs.

"Oh my god.." You pant hard, feeling the last wave of pleasure rushes in you.

You cum having his mouth abusing your pussy. Baekhyun gives a few licks of your juices, swallowing them. Your legs feel so weak as your heart is beating too fast.

"Come here," Baekhyun invites. He unbuckles your seatbelt and lifts you up from the passenger seat, placing you to sit on his lap. "Thank you for being such a bad girl for me, babe," Baekhyun mumbles into your ear, dragging the tip of his hard cock along your slit. "Let me reward you." He breathes.

A sexy moan leaves your mouth when you lift yourself to push his tip between your folds and into your wet pussy. Baekhyun sheaths himself even more until his cock completely buried inside of you. Your walls squeezing tightly around his thick rod. He groans, his hand placed on your hips while your hands wrap around his neck.

"You're so..." he sounds breathless, "tight.."

You start to ride his cock relentlessly while Baekhyun works out with his hips upwards to meet with your thrust synchronously. Your inner muscles clench around him involuntarily. He grunts into your ear.

Your legs start to tremble to the fact that the pleasure weakens your energy. Baekhyun keeps on ramming your tight pussy with his thick girth while your pussy is trying to engulf his rod fully in me. The sexes slide smoothly just because the two of you guys’ pre-juices lubricate it well. "B-Baekhyun-"

Baekhyun slaps your bare ass, causing you to let out a surprised squeal as your pussy suddenly tightens around his throbbing cock, causing him to groan loudly. His breathing is loud and shallow in your ears.

Your mouth parts as you receive the same arousal that he keeps on giving. You roll your eyes back, slamming your head together each and every thrust. He cannot stop calling your name, abusing your g-spot with his swollen tip over and over. The overstimulation that you’re currently having, causing you to slow down from thrusting.

But, he aids you, pinning your back to the steering wheel as he uses his force to pound into your tight snatch. Tears start to stream down your cheeks as you feel like about to burst.

You bump your back on the steering wheel, accidentally hitting the honk. There are also a few times your head bumps towards the roof of the car, causing the both of you to chuckle for a second. Baekhyun pulls me away from the honk, afraid we will catch the neighbourhood's attention while we're busy fucking in his black car. "I'm cumming, Baekhyun..."

You couldn't hold it anymore. Baekhyun continues to hit that specific spot with a few more thrusts, you explode around his cock, your walls convulsing. He also released his hot and warm semen into your womb as both of us panting hard, trying to catch our breath. Baekhyun pecks your lips, wiping your sweaty forehead with his hand. "Thank you, baby." He plants a kiss on your crown.

You slowly pull yourself to sit back on the passenger seat, gasping softly the moment his throbbing cock sliding out from your cunt, feeling empty inside. You grin widely at him when the mixed cums start to drip from your hole. You pull out some tissues to wipe off the cums around your pussy, worried that it will stain his leather seat. Baekhyun also takes some tissues to wipe his drench throbbing cock before he slides his member into his pants back.

"Sorry if you accidentally stained your seat, baek.." You mutter softly as you apologise, making him chuckles.

"It’s okay, baby. This is also your car anyway and only you can sit here," He points it out to the seat that you’re sitting, "And the place where we'll be making out other than our bed." He smirks seducingly, causing me to slap his chest softly.

"Let's go home, hmm?" You buckle your seatbelt securely before looking at him. His engine roars the moment he starts the car, buckling himself as he slides his hand to intertwine again with your fingers.

"To our home, we go."

[thirsthourdemon]

Tea party headcanon

Includes: All obey me characters except solomon, and barbatos

Genre: Fluff

Tags: Fluff, Tea party theme, Pink Pastry and Pekoe Parlour! Au, general

A/N: This is a celebration cause I happen to like my new formatting. If anyone wants to be added to the taglist then just send in an ask please!

||Lucifer

-He’s actually the one that invites you and the brothers to the tea party.

-Makes sure everyone is at least properly dressed

-A mother of 7 children cause that includes you 😌

-Hates it here the moment levi said he’d wear something from some anime about a ‘demon’ butler, mammon saying that he did NOT steal the precious fine china set and beel having that look on his face that says “If I dont eat everything on the damn table, Im eating everyone else.”

-Either drink pure black coffee or chamomile

-if He drinks an ocean of chamomile but no amount of ‘calming’ tea can help save this poor stressed demon who just thought he could finally get a small break and have a lovely afternoon tea with diavolo.

-I wont be surprised if he’s even payed 200,000 grim worth of damage on the place due to his whole family

-Satan thought it was a good idea to exchange salt with sugar but he avoided this cause he...he looked into satan’s eyes while he drank his bitter black coffee with no sugar or cream.

||Mammon

-Gold laced bone china that costs about 500 grim a cup? Sold.

-He didn’t want to go but apparently he saw something that had caught his eye ❤️

-He was always invited to be the man servant at the witches’ tea parties so he kinda thought it was boring

-Did not realize how much he liked fruit teas until he came here

-Did not bother to even wear anything fancy as requested😤

-Probably tried stealing some stuff 😔

-He is on his 3rd cup of fruit tea and the orange chiffon cake but STILL denies that he liked being there.

-Chiffon cake is his thing but he will never admit that so instead he goes for regular old bread

-Defensive over paying the bill but he gives in a bit cause lucifer had to pay for the fucking stuff he stole 😤

-Was fucked with cause diavolo was actually paying and not them

||Leviathan

-Im sorry...sebastian michaelis who? I only know levi in a stuffy butler suit

-Speak like he’s talking to his masters but still trash talks mammon

-“I thumb my nose to you, unrefined scum.”

-For some reason...I cannot stress this enough...He loves...Lolita tea parties.

-Probably a Lizzie fan from Black buttler

-He strikes me as the type to drink matcha or a classic earl grey for the aesthetic but drinks bladderwack tea due to how common it is when he was at sea

-he drinks his tea in a typical lolita designed porcelain tea cup and is charmed by it so he takes 50 photos of the set for his live journalng blog.

||Satan

-A refined gentleman who wore appropriate clothing and brought a book

-He brought a little sacket or his own spice

-He usually drinks chamomile to calm down but occassionally drinks lattes but this time since it was a tea party he settled on...wait for it...

-Ethiopian spiced tea! More specifically Cardamom milk tea in the hottest temprature it can handle

-Him and asmo like their teas hot

-Satan makes me think that he goes for finger sandwiches instead of cakes or pastries.

-Has a book with him and actually his books have tea leaves in them as well because he likes the book smell with the Lapsang Souchung tea

-The ideal guest until he tried to play a prank on lucifer

||Asmodeus

-would you believe me if I told you he walked in there wearing slim dark slacks, creamy white silked dress shirt and a pastel plum ribbon tie that makes me drool?

-OF COURSE YOU WOULD IT’S ASMO 😤

-He looks gorgeous and he knows it! And every waiter/guest there is trying to get his number! 🥺

-I can see him originally drinking assam tea but he switches between that and a very specific order of butterfly pea flower tea with 1 cube of white sugar, 1 mint leaf within a minimalistic see-through tea set

-definetely a fan of berliner or a good chilled charlotte

-Indulges in conversations with simeon, solomon, barbatos and luke like the classy boys they are

-Drinking their tea like that, gossipping like mid 19th century wives in england

-probably laughs at the more energetic people

-Has the other guests at the parlour just senting him in something sweet only for their hearts to be crushed as asmo hands the sweet gifts to his sweet beloved younger brother

||Beelzebub

-You know why he’s here

-Asmo’s personal pastry trash can

-Hungry baby is eating a whole cake by himself ❤️

-Living the dream on his 4th cake btw

-Likes Cannoli sicillianis and Chou à la crème A.K.A profiterole or french cream puffs! He likes custard inside it

-He’s not very picky on his food but he does refuse to drink matcha tea without milk

-The type to be drinking something like dandelion root tea or peppermint tea

-This is the reason he can eat food faster. Please stop him. Please.

-Surprisingly even though he doesnt like matche he keeps green tea so he can gives some to belphie to help keep him awake.

-He tries to wear something nice so...Hahahaha Enjoy beel in a thick dark blue sweater

-He cant contain his cute little hair 🥺

-Uses a tea cup the same size as a mug and a dinner plate instead of a dessert plate

-Gets destracted by the pretty flowers and thinks of lilith ✨

||Belphegor

-Im sorry...Private booth with a couch please?

-He likes nuts cause they make up for his lack of serotonin and plus sleepy

-His tea is either chamomile to calm him or something like green tea to wake him up

-Only drinks green tea that beel gives cause beel knows exactly what to wake belphie up with

-He’s old fashioned he likes his tea in a some porcelain or clay though a preference is not a requirment

-Sleepy boy like private booths and resting himself on beel who’s just munching away but when he’s awake he does join the mid 19th century wives group

-Talks shit about most of the brother, except beel cause beel though a demon is still angelic.

-Has a great time there cause he’s reminded of when him and his twins were playing tea parties

-Does not dress for the occassion cause who gives a fuck

-Has told stories or at least recalled the times that lilith has made them pretend there was tea in the cup while they tried to point out that there was in fact none

||Simeon

-Polite boy that helps set up some of the servers and praises them

-ASSAM TEA YOU CANT CONVINCE ME ON THIS. He loves the taste honestly and he thinks he likes it so much more when there’s milk with it. Likes 1 cube of sugar on it and likes it bit more on the hotter side.

-Another one who enjoys sandwiches more than pastries though please dont tell luke.

-Likes the tea party so much that he wants to host one with luke so they can invite micheal and the other angels.

-Wears something nice but still a bit more appropriate.

-Probably the next host for the tea party

-does not shit talk or gossip bad stuff be he likes to join the conversations

-Adores watching luke pick flowers at the indoor garden

||Luke

-He is such a grateful person that he also brings his own sugar cookies ❤️

-He likes scones!!!! he likes em with lots of cream and blueberries

-The type to drink some sweet tea however he swears by candyleaf as the ultimate drink for him. If there’s no candy leaf though he can always go for fruit teas and something that kicks like orange blossom sponge cakes 🥺

-Dont look at me like he wouldnt play with the flowers and explore the indoor gardens while simeon calls him and he’s already back with sweet butterflies crowding him like the most adorable angel ever

-Joins the adult table cause...h-he’s...he’s old enough 🥺👉👈 (It’s really cause simeon needs to take care of him)

-He might not like devildom but he can say that the ambiance in that place wasnt absolutely breathtaking

-Wants to recreate the sweets here as well

||Diavolo

-The host of the party and is currently tending to everyone in conversation

-He thinks he should do these more often due to how successful they are in bringing everyone together

-Brought barbatos cause only barbatos can make his special tea since the ingridients are rare to fine

-His tea? Bolivia black✨his tastes are complex yes I know

-goes on board with orange food and dark chocolate. He is so exquisite, bro. An orange-scented short bread with finely tempered dark chocolate is the best thing he pairs with that black tea.

-Has a grand time trying to give luci some of his sweet shortbread but ultimately the other demon refuses 😔

-Just fucking say yes, luci. Stop being a pussy already

Taglist: @yamaguchi-stan (Special thanks to her for my knowledge in this stuff),

[chaosintheavenue]

Fallout Survey Results!

There were 69 responses this time around, aaand the results are in. This was a really random survey mostly based on pure curiosity, so make what you will of the results!

Without further ado, let’s get into it...

Which Fallout games have you played? 

Which did you play first? 

Which game is your favourite in terms of gameplay? 

Which game is your favourite in terms of lore?

By the way, that one ‘other’ vote was my own, for Van Buren. If I had to stick to the canon games, I’d have gone with New Vegas, 100%.

Are they canon?

Tactics:

BOS:

Van Buren:

Where would you LIKE the next Fallout game to be set? 

Here’s a map of how many times each state was specifically mentioned, because I'm a map nerd.

Top answer: Florida

It’s pretty clear that, as one respondent said, the people want swamp Fallout!

Other countries mentioned: Canada, Mexico, China, Australia, Cuba, UK

A few people just said the US in general for this and the next question, usually when their answer to the other question was a different country. I wasn’t really sure how to categorise that in terms of the way I chose to display the results, so I’ve left them out.

Where do you THINK the next Fallout game will be set? 

Top Answer: New York

Other countries mentioned: Canada

A lot of people mentioned that they expect previous locations to be re-used, but didn’t specify which.

Favourite character

Arcade Gannon: 17 (a lot of my Fallout mutuals are Arcade stans, so there was probably a bit of bias here, but still, an impressive victory for Arcade!) Nick Valentine: 5 Craig Boone: 4 Rose of Sharon Cassidy: 4 Joshua Graham: 3 Raul Tejada: 3 Veronica Santangelo: 3 Fawkes: 3 Deacon: 2 John Hancock: 2 Courier Six: 2 Benny: 2 Lily Bowen: 2 Folks who got one vote: Goris (aside: THANK YOU for making me look up who this is, I have been blessed), Charon, John Henry Eden, Butch Deloria, Irving Gallows, X6-88, Harold, ED-E, Preston Garvey, Ronald Curtis/Picus, Cait, Gob, Ulysses and RJ MacCready

Least favourite character

Vulpes Inculta: 10 Shaun/Father: 8 Caesar: 7 Strong: 5 Paladin Danse: 4 Piper Wright: 3 Craig Boone: 2 Legate Lanius: 2 Parker Quinn: 2 Daniel (from Honest Hearts): 2 Jericho: 2 And the list with one vote: Antony, Mortimer, Three Dog, Princess, Dean Domino, Myron, Cait, Roger Maxson, Arthur Maxson, Justin Ayo, Colonel Autumn, Joshua Graham, Colin Moriarty, Aaron Kimball, Alistair Tenpenny, Ulysses and Robert Edwin House

Favourite faction

Followers of the Apocalypse: 30 (holy moly lol) New California Republic: 7 Minutemen: 6 Railroad: 5 The Kings: 4 Yes Man: 4 Brotherhood of Steel: 4 Caesar's Legion: 2 Enclave: 2 The Institute: 1 Great Khans: 1 Westside: 1 Megaton: 1 Ghoul settlements in general: 1

Favourite DLC

Old World Blues: 14 Dead Money: 12 Nuka World: 9 Far Harbor: 7 Lonesome Road: 6 Honest Hearts: 6 Point Lookout: 5 Broken Steel: 3 Operation Anchorage: 1 Mothership Zeta: 1 The Pitt: 1

When you think of a chem that removes addictions, which comes to mind first? 

When you think of Harold, which version of him do you picture? 

The fate of cats

New Plague symptoms

Does Duncan MacCready have the New Plague?

Are any characters secretly synths?

The synth-accused: Sole Survivor, Ulysses, Easy Pete, most birds, Travis Miles, Courier Six, Colter, Deacon, Mr House (’just for fun’), Piper, and many settlers in general

Also, @ respondent that I’m pretty sure was @hiscotti-biscotti​... 👀👀👀

Which New Vegas ending would you pick to be canon?

And finally, a handpicked selection of the gushing comments (got a bit long because there were so many I liked too much!)...

I wish they made the main quest harder to acces and finish, or to have more step to it... because once I played it one the experience wouldn't be the same. It so amazing discovering new location and being like 'I'm gonna explore that' so damn good.

The fallout franchise has one of the most beautiful heavy lore ridden world I've ever seen

I love the theme of change in the west coast trilogy and how strongly it contrasts the game's moto of "war never changes". I love how you can look at the changes to the NCR from shady sands to the republic but I also love how you can look at the Khans. People and factions do change, but waging war over petty dramas never does, you can escape it, but only if you admit you were wrong and change for the better.

I love the world and the characters. There is always some fucked up shit in the past that has a chance of snowballing into worse shit in the current time, like the  cazadores and the new plague. And when characters are written well, they have a chance of being the coolest part of the games, like with Nick Valentine/Hancock or any of the characters of New Vegas.

When things get creepy it's wonderful. More in the vein of Dead Money or the Glowing Sea please!

I love how in NV the apocalypse isn’t just the end of everything. There’s still culture! There’s towns! There’s just people vibing! It feels less like the apocalypse and more like a developed area that is experiencing a war. People moved on after 200 years. Because that’s what people do.

The hopefulness of rebuilding.

Hhhh LORE!!! Apocalypse aesthetic!!!!! HOPE AND LIGHT AND HEALING AND GOODNESS AND ALSO COOL WASTELAND SHIT AND DEATHCLAWS... fallout good.....

oh my god i love arcade gannon so much i dont know why but i am literally about to start studying latin at uni because of him.

Can I just say I love how fnv gave us LGBT characters without making the fact that they're lgbt their entire personality.

I can go through abandoned buildings without getting arrested.

I love that it's helped me make so many new friends and has reignited my creative drive.

Say what you will about robot fetishists but Fisto was the greatest thing to happen to the series. A true icon and reminder of wonderful writing and character design. They may say you can't make a flawless character, but I say "look at Fisto". Don't boo me, I'm right.

[rena-rain]

Miraculous Holders’ Costumes - RANKED

#1 - Dragon Bug

Dragon Bug’s design is the freaking epitome of asymetrical balance. Everything about this suit is both smooth and sharp. The curving stripes and spots give the impression of fire licking up her body, same with the flame-shaped horns in her hair. You can hardly go wrong with black, red, and gold. The upward-pointing hair accessories reflect her downward-pointing pigtails, adding more subtle balance, and I love the details on her mask.

#2 - Rena Rouge

This design really suits Alya. The shape of the white front is both slimming and compliments her curves, and the black accents at her extremities are an excellent counterbalance to the white and orange. Also something about the coattails just completes Rena Rouge’s look! It’s the right shape too, because fox tails are on the bushier side, unlike cats and mice.

#3 - Chat Noir

Chat Noir’s costume can be described as “black cat meets knight in shining armor but modern.” Let’s go from the head down. The change in hairstyle balances out his cat ears. His blond hair, green eyes, and gold bell are beautiful contrasts to the black suit, which has a subtle texture to the fabric. There are visible seams over his shoulders, arms, and torso that add visual interest to the design and makes his suit resemble armor - even more so with his boots and gauntlets. Those details are fantastic because black is extremely slimming and they give some emphasis to his shape. Between the ears, eyes, bell, claws, and tail, you could never mistake his aesthetic as anything but catlike.

#4 - Hawk Moth

Do not tell me Hawk Moth’s costume isn’t sleek as hell. The monochrome works for him, the suit pairs well with his weapon being a staff, the overhead silver helmet-mask gives him a great villainous feel, and every pointy detail gives a sense of evil butterflies. I love that his miraculous is the focal point of his outfit, the light color contrast really draws the eye.

#5 - Snake Noir

They definitely combined the best elements of the Chat costume and Aspik costume for Snake Noir. In a word, you can describe his design as “lithe.” The cyan pairs well with the green, especially because there’s a Chat Noir-green diamond on his chest. The snake elements are a bit subtler, with his head smooth, the design tapering down his body, the fangs on his mask, the scale texture on his suit and the lines running down his arms. It’s cohesive, elegant, and stark.

#6 - Bunnix

I think Bunnix is meant to resemble a snowshoe hare. They didn’t give her a tail, but I think that’s what the little rounded ball accents are supposed to represent. The markings are bold and evenly distributed, making her look balanced and symmetrical. She actually has a vague vintage feel to her design: the white torso is reminiscent of a corset, which goes with the gloves, boots, and umbrella/parasol. Like Chat Noir, Alix’s hair makes a great contrast with the light blue and white. Also POCKETS.

#7 - Carapace

I love how much Carapce emulates a turtle. His hood and cowl are shaped like a turtle beak and also hide his face, serving both to protect his identity and give the impression he can physically retreat into his costume. His shield looks like a shell, the designs on his hood look like common markings on turtles’ heads, and he has a tortoiseshell pattern on his chest and shield. Like Chat Noir, the lines of his suit give his arms and legs visual interest.

#8 - Queen Bee

As much as I personally dislike the color yellow, Queen Bee’s costume has a straightforward elegance about it. Obviously the black and yellow stripes resemble a bumble bee but they’re also good for Chloe’s slender body type.. The black “neckline” and “gloves” are regal in flavor, suiting her moniker. You get a distinct bee impression from the sharpness of her stripes (a reminder of her stinging power), the black swirl around her hair, and the antennae-like hair ribbon.

#9 - Multimouse

Multimouse is another example of a well-balanced and symmetrical design. It uses the reliable faux gloves and boots design with colors that go well together. Her buns and jump rope look like mouse ears and a tail. I have a suspicion the animators came up with it to easily combine with other miraculous powers, mainly by changing the color of the pink stripes post-unification. Overall, this costume is very cute. I won’t go over every permutation of the multimice combos since very little changes other than color.

#10 - Lady Noire

Overall, Lady Noire’s suit is minimalist and elegant in a sharp, modern kind of way. Black is naturally slimming, and Marinette is already very slim, so the horizontal green accents help emphasize her curves. I don’t love the green lining of her ears, but I suppose that keeps the design consistent. I’m absolutely in love with Lady Noire’s braid (and I’d be remiss not to take the chance to point out this is the only time we see her hair properly black instead of blue). Her suit has a completely smooth texture, unlike both her Ladybug suit and Chat Noir’s, which I found odd and does’t do her petite frame any favors.

#11 - Mr. Bug

I’m glad they gave Mr. Bug black panels on his sides. The full-cover spots of Ladybug is fine for Marinette, but Adrien has a bigger frame and it would just look ostentatious on him. This design emphasizes his shoulders and slims him down a bit. He actually looks like a football player (American football, don’t @ me about this). He ranks just below Lady Noire because of the hair.

#12 - Aspik

OMG what a cutie pie. I can’t not say it - he looks like he’s wearing a corset in the left pic. Not a good or bad thing, I’m just saying. Look at this cutie pie! Aspik actually looks more snake-like than Viperion, imo: the design is sleeker and he’s got the diamonds over his head, that’s a nice touch. The snake scale pattern is a great detail. I had to step outside my own bias with this one because snakes really freak me out and so does Adrien without hair.

#13 - Jade Turtle

He’s less turtle-y than Carapace, but I was pretty happy with the Jade Turtle costume. The Asian style obviously suits him, and it makes sense because he was originally from China, while many of the others would be more used to Western clothing at a young age. Fu has a tortoise-shell pattern on his hat and shoulder guards and his shoes look like turtle feet. However, His chest plate deviates from the turtle theme

#14 - Viperion

My favorite parts of Viperion’s costume are his mask with the little snake fangs and the scale texture of the suit.As I mentioned above, it’s less snakey than Aspik’s. The lines suit his shape pretty well, but don’t taper down his body in the way a snake slims from chest to tail. I just feel like something’s missing from the outfit as a whole.

#15 - Ladybug

There’s just...nothing all that special about Ladybug’s costume. The red and black do suit Marinette’s pink coloring and dark hair, and contrast with her blue eyes. The bright color and pattern emphasize Marinette’s curves pretty well and make her look a little bigger than her slim stature. All that said, the suit is both busy and plain somehow.

16 - Pegasus

While I do love the hair, something about Pegasus’ costume is both too subtle and too over-the-top somehow at the same time. He has a lot of bells and whistles, though I suppose it’s supposed to look similar to horse tack. The winged shoes seem completely out of place. It’s not that I think he looks bad, but he doesn’t look particularly cool either.

#17 - Mayura

The one sin of Mayura’s outfit is the giant slit up the skirt, but kwamis is it a sin. The colors all go together and the headpiece matches the hem, and it has a distinct cold-weather theme going on with the boots, fur collar and cuffs, and full coverage design. That gets negated by the slit, which exposes nearly all of her legs, something that works far better for a summer evening dress.

#18 - King Monkey/Roi Singe

I’ve tried to figure out what it is about King Monkey’s costume that looks less than optimal, and I’m pretty sure it’s that it isn’t balanced well. He has large gloves, and elaborate crown and hairstyle, a thick collar, and a thick belt high up his waist. It makes him look kind of top-heavy. Similar to Pegasus, but to a greater extent, he’s washed out by the excess of neutral colors that the red doesn’t counteract very much.

#19 - Ryuko

I expected the dragon outfit to be more exciting. Other than the tail design (and the horns???), there’s just nothing dragon-esque about this. Come on, Chat Noir got ears, claws, and a tail; Viperion and Snake Noir got little scale motifs all over and fangs on their masks; Multimouse got bun ears and a tail; Carapace got a shell and a beak; Rena Rouge also got ears and a tail on top of a design reminiscent of a fox’s fur markings. Imagine the awesome tail and claws and fire motifs we were deprived of with the dragon. The best parts of Ryuko’s design is the embellished mask, her reptile eyes, and the red/black/gold color scheme, which are pretty cool.