#love that you played so many NES and classic games!

[smash-64]

Best part of the review was this

Games I played 2023 - Part 1

As yet another year closes, I have been looking back at the games I’ve played over the year, and spent about a month trying to write them up. I feel like I got the system down for this, as it’s a fun tradition I’m glad my friends have encouraged. With refinement of my note-taking, and being heavily opinionated, comes very lengthy retrospectives/reviews. So elongated, in fact, that I need to split this year’s goty list into two parts. It didn’t feel like I played many more games than I have in previous years, but I certainly have a lot to say. Also, I skipped my Resi breakdowns last year for reasons you can read about when I post it, but it’s back this year >:)

I’m still not sure what to call these, but I lean more towards retrospective- so be warned! Spoilers of varying degree and strong opinions moving forward.

~~~

Hitman: World of Assassination Trilogy, PS4

So... IOI did a complete overhaul of the Hitman trilogy, renaming it the World of Assassination trilogy, and streamlining all purchases to two primary options - base game and DLC. No more complicated bullshit! (Also their patch notes were some of the most entertaining I have ever read lmao) One thing that came with this massive overhaul was that everyone who has the base game can now access a few things - for free - that you couldn't before. Mainly, the freelancer mode. With this mode, we have access to 3 of the DLC maps and get to play a campaign that's a kind of mix between the story campaign and elusive target mode. Elusive Target missions are ones I didn’t really cover in last year’s review, and that’s because I didn’t play them enough to feel I should speak on them lmao.

In the elusive target mode, you're given a brief with a target to kill, dropped into the map, and you have to find and kill the target with no further assistance. It was pretty fun, but they are tied to real time- in that there is something like a 3 day window to take on the elusive target, and once it's over you can't retry. If you die, you're locked out from attempting again. It's a one and done kinda thing. I appreciate that- it makes the stakes much higher and places a huge focus on the stealth and recon aspects in particular; especially due to the fact that you cannot use your hitman senses to highlight the target in this mode. However, getting only one chance is a little sad, as the first few times I played last year felt a little discouraging when I’d made a simple mistake (or even had my controller give up on me) and I’d be locked out from trying until the next mission drops. And while I appreciate the ‘real time’ sense of these missions… Man, it just sucks if you’re an adult who gets busy between work and life and just don’t have an hour or two to sit and dedicate to figuring out these targets within the allotted time. They’re really fun challenges and it just seems like a bit of a shame that the accessibility I’m whining about goes directly against the point of these missions in the first place lmao. There is still a gallery where you can replay old elusive targets, but I haven't played that much... Cause what I have been addicted to, is the freelancer mode.

Compared to the story mode, in freelancer mode, you don’t have any story missions to help guide you into setting up a kill. And, just like the elusive targets, the stakes are higher and more self driven – you need to take down syndicate members in various levels leading up to a ‘boss’ level, where you’re required to pick out the syndicate leader based on limited intel and kill them.

It’s fantastic.

As I’ve played through the year, I’ve seriously levelled up the way that I play and approach kills. At the start of the year when this mode just dropped and I was utterly addicted to it, I sucked so bad and often had to restart campaigns after fumbling too badly – and I didn’t care! It was still super fun and it felt like I was learning more about the way the game worked so that I’d be more prepared for next time.

The targets aren't the same as the main story campaign the elusive targets; in the missions leading up to the syndicate leader, your targets are just randomly selected NPCs. When you do get to the leaders, they're more similar to the story targets, but due to there being so many (with the intent to confuse you and make you more observant while you identify the correct person) and them not being as basic as an NPC, there's still that free-er feeling as you play. It's honestly up to your creativity with tools/items/weapons and your knowledge of the levels to be able to pull these off. Some levels I’d be able to speed through in under 10min, others would take over an hour, or anywhere in between. Levels that I really enjoy, and therefore know pretty well by now, are SUPER fun to play because I already know the floorplan, I just need to figure out how to get to my target and how I'm going to kill them. It's completely up to you if you wanna try and get through it without getting caught, or try and make a mad dash after making some VERY public executions. While freelancer mode is very free-form, there are also mission objectives that reward bonus xp and currency for completing. Each level will have three objectives based on the type of syndicate you’re fighting, and a special objective you choose before each level. These are all optional, but in hard mode, the special objective becomes compulsory. I quite enjoy this, and I’ll often pick campaigns based on what maps and objectives I’ll be tasked with and strategise around that.

The other massive thing within freelancer is that you have a hub. A really nice hub. Its a big swanky house in the middle of nowhere, and the more you progress and gain xp, the more you get to play interior decorator. The focus of the place is the weapons storage area, which is where you’ll also be selecting and setting up your missions. Any weapons and items with rarity that you find or buy while out on missions will be taken back home and stored for later, and as you unlock and dress up other areas of your house, some tools and items will be lying around for you to take with you too. These are things like gardening tools, a stethoscope to be used as a fibre wire or a banana to help create distractions and accidents. It was really fun to work hard and bring home a bunch of awesome weapons, and it really hurt when I failed and lost all of my favourite gear.

I believe this is my first time playing a rougue-like style game, and once I got a grasp on how it generated targets, it was incredibly addicting. I also found it quite fun to play through the handful of DLC levels that are freely available here, as I haven’t bought the DLC and played through their missions yet myself. One of my favourite maps to play was the Bank in New York, and I quickly found a little exploit that I loved using. You usually spawned in the underground parking garage near the security room and the vault, and on the wall next to the security room was a locked cabinet with a bottle of chloroform. You could start every level by gassing all the security guards in the room by pouring chloroform in their air conditioning filter, pinch the vault keycards and unlock it, and then treat yourself to a nice handful of the in-game currency. Like, you could pick up 3 coins that were worth a couple hundred dollars each, and then pull the server and wire a couple thousand to yourself, and all before you actually started killing anyone. Unfortunately, about halfway through the year, this was ‘corrected’ by devs and there’s no longer chloroform near the security, and no more coins. I don’t know if its just misremembering, but I swear that it’s a little harder to get into the vault now too. I get it, sanctity of the game and whatever but… this is a completely single player mode. There was a patch added to change the wording of the stock market thing you unlock in your personal vault at home to make it clearer that you’re essentially playing a coin toss where you could lose most the money you’ve accumulated, but thats another element that has the potential to give you heaps of money if you’re lucky. This isn’t a huge and genuine complaint, but it is annoying and I miss starting off my bank missions by looting the vault. I still loot it almost every time I play, but it doesn’t hit the same anymore…

Anyway, all this to say that the new freelancer mode is awesome and that I’ve been having fun playing it all through the year. I’ve also been slowly chipping away at hidden objectives and such during the story campaign, which has been interesting. There’s so many ways to set up kills for all of the targets, and there’s heaps of funny easter eggs to unlock too. I also wanna mention how much I appreciate the sound design of the game, the game actually does a great job at communicating info with the audio cues – so much so, that when trying to play the game muted while I’m on the phone with a friend, I fail miserably because I’m missing important cues without that audio.

Overall, this has been a game that I’ve been playing a lot over the past two years now, and I enjoy heaps. It’d definitely crept up towards the top of my personal favourites, and I can’t wait to keep playing more.

Freelancer Safe house Theme

Safe house Outdoors

~~~

Mario’s Super Picross, SNES

I mostly played this around the Christmas and New Years period last year, struggling and losing my mind in the summer heat! (It reached 40°!! I don’t have air conditioning in my apartment it was hell!!! And we can expect similar this year!!!! I hate summer!!!!!)

I really like picross as a concept, it’s like if sudoku had a baby with colour by number puzzles. It’s simple! And it allows for some pretty challenging puzzles, especially when you get to bigger canvases.

Mario Picross was fun enough, and the unlockable Wario Picross was certainly a challenge! I just felt a bit disappointed by the fact that all the puzzles were just random things, and nothing related to or even resembling anything Mario. Like?? I dunno, it think it would’ve been fun to have the puzzles be the sprites of various items and characters from Mario games, and even recreating scenes from certain Mario levels in the larger puzzles. The only Mario element here is that the man himself congratulates you at the completion of every level, which is nice, but man. I really wish I could’ve been filling out a mushroom or a power star or something, that would’ve been fun.

The general UI and controls were fine, but I still like the Twilight Princess Picross the most out of all. Also the music was kind of annoying, so I barely played with volume. I’d just have my switch on the couch and play muted while I watched video essays or Bob’s Burgers lol. The exception is Wario Puzzle 1, CERTIFIED BANGER!

There’s not much more I can really say. If you’ve played Picross, you know what to expect. It’s a good brain teaser, I wish it was Mario themed instead of random general stuff, but it was fine. I played it and enjoyed it for the most part.

Wario Puzzle 1

~~~

Nonograms Prophecy, Switch

DO NOT BUY THIS GAME, IT IS A SCAM. IT IS ACTIVELY HOSTILE TO PICROSS PLAYERS AND CONTAINED PUZZLES THAT WERE UNSOLVABLE.

I initially bought this as a cheeky little impulse buy for my birthday. I like picross, what can I say? It was on sale on the switch store and I took it as a sign – unfortunately, it was a bad one.

At first glance it is a pretty simple, if bland, Greek God aesthetic in a black and gold cut out style. I’ve never really been particularly interested in the mythos, and never more than a passing interest- but this is literally just using the aesthetic for a game that has absolutely nothing to do with Greece or it’s religious historical culture.

Same goes with the soundtrack, a nice and simple acoustic guitar, but it is the ONLY song in the entire game.

Onto gameplay; due to the limited colours, it was incredibly difficult to see which square I was hovering over to mark, and when the numbers are greyed out they are practically invisible due to the value being almost the same as the background colour it is on top of. To make matters worse, the numbers grey out arbitrarily, which fucks up the literal point of playing the game. How are you supposed to play the puzzle if you can’t see the number of squares you’re supposed to fill out?

There’s also little things that should be standard on all modern digital versions of picross that are absent or poorly implemented here. You can’t press and hold to fill in multiple tiles, you cant x out a square you’ve coloured and instead have to clear it first and then x it out (and vice versa, why add that extra step in?) and the coloured puzzles have multiple of the exact same colour, with the only difference being inside the code and not visible to the player. How am I supposed to know which of the THREE SEPERATE BUT IDENTICAL SHADES OF PINK I’ve placed in the wrong pink zone?

There are some things that were interesting qol, like when filling out a chain of squares, a number would appear to show you how many you have filled. This would be an interesting and helpful addition to gameplay IF IT WORKED CORRECTLY. There was also an option to fill out an entire row with the L+R buttons, if it was one that had to be completely filled. That’s about the only thing in here that worked and was appreciated.

I gave up when getting past the piss easy early levels, and then realising that the puzzles were fundamentally broken and showing an incorrect number of tiles to fill. It was so shit, and this was noticed on my second or third day of playing, so I contacted Nintendo for a refund. I don’t usually ask for refunds, but this time I did.

Fuck this game, put effort into making a real picross before putting it on the eshop, fuckers.

~~~

Zelda Picross, 3DS

I’m pretty sure this is a fangame, and considering that – it’s pretty nice! Though, I am of the opinion this would be better on PC, as there were times where I could barely see the details of the puzzle, despite playing on a 3DS XL.

The whole game looks like a mix between the SNES and GameBoy Zelda aesthetics, with covers of various songs across the series in a similar sound. It definitely feels like a passion project, and for that, I can only commend it.

Now, onto the meat of it. This is actually a solid Picross, and a great taste to wash my mouth out with after the shit I had to get refunded. It’s not perfect, by any means, but it was good fun and I enjoyed my time with it, which is all that matters, right?

To play each level, there is an over world where you select and unlock levels to progress further. And, surprise surprise, the puzzles you fill out are all generally related to the Legend of Zelda! This traversal made it kind of feel like a massive Zelda dungeon, which was really fun! Another charming aspect is that you have hearts- except instead of enemies attacking you, you lose a heart every time you hit an incorrect square. I actually really liked this, as it feels so linked to Zelda, but also feels appropriate here. As you progress, you can unlock more hearts too, which is helpful for the boss levels. They entail two large back-to-back puzzles- which means if you use up most your hearts fumbling in the first boss puzzle, you better be extra sure you know what you’re doing in the second. To get to the bosses and unlock more paths, you’ll often have to travel through the over world maps and collect items. To unlock them, you’ll need to solve a picross puzzle depicting the item you’ll be getting. THAT’S ALL I WANT BABBBEEEEEYYYYYYY!!!!

Apart from it getting a little cramped and hard to read in later levels, my only other criticisms are that the colour palettes are pretty muted and a bit bland looking, which can be detrimental in some levels. Each of the puzzles have a different theming based on where you are, which is a great touch- but on levels like the ones in Death Mountain, there’s not enough visual change to tell the difference between filled and unfilled squares. Some are worse than others, but I think forgoing some of the fancy details here for readabilities sake would’ve worked in their favour. There’s nothing wrong with having cute details and art in the borders and background, but I think it ended up being too cluttered as it is currently. Another part that got a little frustrating, particularly near the end, what that the cursor doesn’t stand out enough and I get lost! I can’t see it most of the time, there’s not enough contrast for it to stand out, and even with the rows and columns highlighted, I’d still fudge choices cause I’m one square off!

Overall, considering my main issues with this game are that it’s visually not polished enough for my tastes, I’d say this was a pretty great game. I had a lot of fun playing, and it reignited my old ideas to make a pircoss fan game of my own someday… I’d honestly recommend playing just for the interesting way they’ve presented adventure mode, it was really good!

~~~

My Nintendo Picross - The Legend of Zelda : Twilight Princess, 3DS

Ahhh… My favourite picross game…

There is just a certain polish to this game that makes it stand out above the rest for me. I don’t feel like I even have to say much- you just read my other reviews. You know what I’ve complained about, and the kind of things I value in a picross game. I’m sure you can assume this one is pretty good.

I don’t really care for the second mode here where the numbers are semi obscured by covering two rows and columns, instead of each set of numbers being their own. It’s playable, but not my favourite, I vastly prefer the classic picross experience. That said, I would’ve loved more than just one level of the massive level, as it was quite fun to zoom in onto chunks and solve a picross that is just one square of a larger one.

Controls handle well and feel intuitive, the puzzles are fun and fit the theme. I like this game a lot.

Tutorial / Inside a House

Hyrule Field Main Theme

Ganondorf Main Theme

~~~

Castlevania, NES

This has got to be the most fun I’ve had with an NES game… like, ever. I thoroughly enjoyed so much about it, and in a way I feel that it reinvigorated my love for video games.

Despite not knowing what to do for the first few hours that I was playing, and not realising I could save within the collection I’ve been playing on to pause and pick up later, I didn’t care that I kept starting over every time I jumped back into the game. It’s a classic 80’s game, after all. How else are you supposed to play if you don’t continually replay the early levels as you try to push forward a few more screens?

However, I am glad for modern conventions like state saves and the like, as although I was loving it, I do have sensitive eyes and was struggling to play for my usual extended gaming sessions. Towards the end of my playthrough, I took advantage of save states and a few cheeky walkthroughs to get the best experience, as the game IS filled with a bunch of 80s bullshit, too.

The plot is VERY simple, and that’s something I enjoyed- as though there wasn’t much text (or subtext, for that matter) it was easy enough to follow along with. Dracula is the big bad, and we gotta storm his castle and take him and his monsters out! The visuals of the game are more detailed than I expected them to be, filled with a charming mix of monster movie and early gothic horror styles. While simple, the sprites for both Simon Belmont and the various enemies and bosses you encounter are filled with character, and with backgrounds that were filled with details- I only wish I could’ve played this on a CRT to experience the full depth! I find the CRT filters on LCD TV’s never truly mimic the way the pixels would bend and blur on those old screens, and simply opt for simple scan-line overlays that barely cut it.

As expected for a controller that consisted of basically a d-pad and two action buttons, the controls for this game are stupidly simple. This didn’t stop it from having an interesting weapons system, one that was surprisingly more complex than I initially understood it to be! Your main attack is your trusty whip, which can be upgraded a few times to have a longer reach, which is SUPREMELY helpful, and definitely felt when it’s taken away as you get hurt. The other method of attacking is via the subweapon system, which drop at various points from enemies or interactable elements of the levels. Along the way, you can collect hearts that are dropped- but these are not health. This took me a bit to figure out, as I kept dying and wondering why my health was so whack if I had been collecting so many hearts! Turns out, the hearts are more of an ammo counter for your subweapons. Once I figured this out, it really changed the way I approached the combat, and soon figured out which subweapons I enjoyed the most. I really liked the range of throwing the crosses like boomerangs across the screen, and throwing holy water to stun enemies while I whipped the hell out of them. There’s a bunch of other subweapons, those were just what I used most often, but it leaves room to experiment with what you want to keep on you, or where you want to swap out as you come across more subweapons. The more I played, the more I began to build strategies around what kinds of subweapons I had, and found that this system is actually a lot more nuanced than I assumed it to be in my early hours of play! Btw, if you want health, instead of hearts, you need to find a delicious roast leg in secret compartments in the wall. Mmmmmmm wall meat~

While the combat makes up the ‘action’ part of this game, the other part of it is platforming. Now, I really liked it once I got a feel for the controls, but it IS filled with a good dose of 80’s jank that is hard to get used to with modern gaming fingers. However, maybe it’s just because I am a cranky gamer, or because I grew up playing stuff of this era from my dad’s hand-me-downs… I loved the platforming here! I wanna reiterate just how detail filled the locations are, as it’s just dripping with character and creates a fun atmosphere to platform across. Although some stages had areas that were difficult to figure out what exactly was part of the platform I could walk across, you start to pick up cues and understand the visual language the devs are talking in. The platforming was a genuine challenge, there were times where I felt that 80s jank getting in my way, but there were also plenty of times where I felt I was so close, and that I just messed up what I was supposed to do. It helped that I could change the window boxed borders around the game, and had the gorgeous illustrated game cover to the side. It was me and Belmont’s mini skirt against the world!

And, it would be remiss of me to go this whole review without mentioning the music. IT’S GORGEOUS. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW HARD IT WAS TO JUST CHOOSE 3 SONGS TO LINK AT THE END, THERE’S SO MANY INTERESTING TRACKS!! Considering the limitations of the 8-bit era, there is such a depth and masterful composition to these songs that it was a genuine treat to listen to. Of course I’ll be linking the classic Vampire Killer, but for such a small OST, there are so many bangers! It was so nice hearing familiar motifs across various songs, and honestly just fun hearing what I consider to be amongst the best of NES’ sound. I feel like I could listen to some of these tracks for hours, but I already have with how much I spent in some levels!

Maybe this earlier era of gaming is just something easier for me to connect with quickly, but I can confidently say that I have no nostalgia clouding my vision, as I never got the chance to play this growing up. It’s something that I always wanted to play, and it’s a series that has come to mean a lot to me the more I play and learn about it- but seriously. What a game. It’s difficult, but not in a way that makes it impossible to just pick up and start playing. If you want a challenge, and haven’t already, I cannot recommend this game enough.

Stage 01 Vampire Killer

Stage 13 Heart of Fire

Stage 16 Out of Time

~~~

Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest, NES

This game fucking sucks. I love it.

In a similar style to Zelda II being a strange semi-rpg side scroller, Simon’s Quest is a bit of a departure from the simple action platformer it’s predecessor was. Though, I’d argue that this strange shake up feels more at home here than it did in Zelda II, as Castlevania was already a side scrolling game. Expanding it to exploring a whole world instead of exclusively Dracula's Castle is an interesting step, and despite the fumbling that is mainly down to poor translation and console limitations – this game was a surprising hit for me.

We continue on from the last game, following Simon as he deals with a curse placed upon him in the previous game when he defeated Dracula. To lift the curse, we must travel across the lands and retrieve Dracula’s body parts in the hopes that reassembling and defeating him once and for all will cure Simon. To do this, we must travel the land and find helpful hints and items within the various villages scattered about, and fight our way through the castles of Dracula’s loyal followers, who guard his body parts from people like Simon. The clearest way that the curse shows itself in this game through the day/night cycle, where enemies are twice as strong (or Belmont’s twice as weak), zombie-like creatures invade the villages, and all the villagers lock themselves away. I find this so fascinating because the sheer ambition of this narrative style is really pushing the limits of the NES – whether or not it was successful is to be elaborated on, but they tried and I love that.

This leads me to the perfect place to start discussing the gameplay itself, which is… ehhh… a bit of a mixed bag. As I just mentioned, the transitions from day to night are ambitious- but not great in practice. The cycle lasts about 3 minutes real time, which is far too frequent and actively destroys any and all pacing or momentum you have going. It also feels disproportionate for a cycle, the nights drag on FOREVER and the days barely last. It especially sucked when I was trying to get to a specific town with the express purpose of trying to talk with someone or buy something, only for it to turn to night just as I’d arrived. It’s just so poorly implemented due to the hardware limitations, and regardless how interesting or narratively involved it is, I’d estimate a good third of my playthrough was spent sitting in a village corner away from beasties and writing notes for this very write-up. This is THE biggest roadblock that turns people off this game, followed closely by the piss poor translation – which is a shame, because if you’re willing to trudge through all it’s failings, I actually think this is an awesome game.

There were definitely moments where I really got into this game, and even spent time thinking about it when I wasn’t playing. The enemy sprites are so cool and expressive for 8-bit, the music is even more banging (who doesn’t love bloody tears!) and there are occasional clever things to do that make it easier to progress, like throwing holy water to see where the false floors are. I also appreciated ‘quests’ like the crystal exchange, it was easy enough to follow despite the weird translation, and it was very clear that I was supposed to buy and trade them once I came across villagers who adamantly DIDN’T want to trade with my lame ass crystal. Even things as simple as coming across the house where you find the morning star merchant was really fun – I never played this as a kid, but that moment felt like a shot of pure nostalgia.

As I mentioned earlier, the translation fucking sucks here; which sucks even more because this has a few rpg elements thrown in, so it is important to actually talk to villagers and see what they have to say. One of the most well known things about this game is the botched translation regarding the red crystal; where, in the Japanese text it was clearer that to activate it and progress, you need to equip it and hold down in the right place. In English, it’s utter nonsense, and I only knew what to do as I had knowledge of this exact scenario. I wish it was translated clearer, as I had already figured out that pressing down was a good way to use the shield, and would bounce back fireballs if I stood still. It already had set up an understanding of the kind of button inputs to use with items, so it’s a shame that the instructions on what to was botched. There were some characters that had funny things to say through the strange choice in words, and I found it particularly amusing going through the village where everyone hates you. I keep repeating it, but I just need to keep saying it, I WISH THE TRANSLATION WAS BETTER. I’d recommend looking up fan translations/translation notes, as there’s a fascinating discrepancy between the two, and the JP version was more successful at setting up a certain tone and vibe amongst the villagers that helped get it just that much closer to successfully pulling off their ambitious ideas.

I can say for certain that the music helped tremendously, and this maaaaayyyyyy be my favourite soundtrack out of the trilogy. Let me replay it a thousand more times and I’ll get back to you. There’s such a bombastic feeling to the tracks when you’re walking around during the day, and at night it feels a little more subdued, but still in a kind of action-oriented way, if that makes sense. It’s dangerous for Simon to be out at night with his curse, but it’s still dangerous for the enemies at the other end of his morning star whip. I also liked the kind of eerie and adventurous vibes the castle themes have- I linked castle 1 cause its a banger, but if you’d be so inclined to check out castle 2, highly recommend.

Platforming in the game is pretty much the same as in Castlevania I, though there were more sections that felt like classic 80s bullshit. I even got stuck in a really weird spot and I found it quite amusing. It sucks a bit that water is an insta death, especially when there are some precarious platforms to jump across, but it wasn’t so bad. With regards to dying, I’m not sure I fully understand it, as you seemingly get three chances before you’re given a game over with the choice to continue. Continuing respawns you where you died, which is great, and the L is that your hearts are reset as punishment for sucking. That’s fine with me, as you’ll quickly rack up the hearts you need again when killing enemies, especially when you have the morning star, as there’s not much else to do during the night.

Before I get into the endgame stuff, I should talk about the rpg shit that’s here. When you kill enemies, you get hearts and experience points. You can level up in every castle, and doing so will expand your health and defence. There are also merchants in most towns, and a strange hooded person selling something special in each castle. Hearts aren’t just weapons ammo here, they are also currency, so there’s definitely an incentive to kill enemies instead of trying to outrun them. It was interesting to see such a basic NES system, but it worked, so I can’t complain. I’d be curious to see a modern take on this game, not only to get a chance for the original intent and ambitions to shine- as well as a more accurate translation for those of us overseas -but also to see if this rpg system should be expanded upon, or left the same. I’m not sure if I have a preference, but it is something I thought about a few times while playing (despite not generally being one for needless remakes and reimaginings lmao)

As the whole deal of this game is to collect pieces of Dracula, reassemble him, and then kick his ass for good, I found it quite interesting that you can actually equip pieces of Dracula! Using his claw and eye were particularly cool when thinking about them in-universe, not to mention they were just practical. Once you’ve collected all the pieces and make your way to Drac’s castle, I thought the set up was awesome. See, the village nearby was completely empty, save for one old lady who says “let’s live here together.” If I’m not mistaken, the town where everyone hates you is also en route to the castle, so it makes sense that they’d recognise and blame their supernatural troubles on the Belmont. By the time you get to the titular Castlevania, you’ll find that it’s completely empty.

How eerie.

I loved this, it was so unnerving, and at this point in the game, you will have battled many enemies and gotten used to keeping an eye out for them – so to enter the final castle and have it be completely devoid of life was something that stood out to me. All you have to do is find your way to the final chamber, and reassemble Dracula. His fight is piss easy, but going with the narrative in-universe, I’m fine with that! Overall, I think what made me connect with this game was how compelling the tid bits of narrative were. Not because it was outrageously complex and ground breaking – but because it gave a fitting, if tragic, context and justification to go on this journey. With the success of the Netflix Castlevania series, and the generally positive reception towards it’s spin off- Castlevania: Nocturne, I’d be incredibly interested in seeing the tale of Simon adapted and elaborated upon. Whether this is through a modern remake or animated adaptation, either would scratch that curious itch for me- but I may just have to write my own fan adaptation in the meantime, ahaha!

Near the end of the game, I did find myself getting lost as I struggled to orient myself. The ‘open’ exploration being horizontal in nature is the main reason for this, but despite this, I found it quite cool how large they were able to make this world feel for a 2D sidescroller. What sucks balls though, is that your ending will change depending on how long you take to gather up Dracula and kill him again – and most players will go through multiple day/night cycles while they play, locking themselves in for the ‘bad’ ending. That’s the one I got, though the way the text was worded didn’t seem all that bad to me. It was a positive, if tragic, outcome, all things considered. Thankfully, in the age of the internet, it’s really easy to look up the other endings – but a few years down the line when I get ACTUAL nostalgia for this game, and not just the feeling that I should've had nostalgia for this as I would've adored it as a kid; I’m certain I’ll be attempting to get the good ending for myself.

It’s clear that despite it’s many flaws, I loved this game, and consider it to be a misunderstood gem. I’d highly encourage putting in the effort to look past it’s shortcomings, find a good walkthrough for backup, and give it a try. It didn’t quite hit all of it’s lofty ambitions due to limitations in hardware, and was also undercut further in the west with the poor translation, but I truly felt the passion the team put into this, and enjoyed it all the same.

Stage Theme Bloody Tears

Castle Theme 01 Dwellings of Doom

Day Time The Silence of Daylight

~~~

Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse, NES

The opening ‘cinematic’ of this game says everything you need to know about this game: Castlevania is back, and better than ever.

I found it quite charming that the intro had an old film look, with the visuals of the tape rolling to make it feel all the more grand. By this point, the devs knew what they wanted to make- confident in creating the gothic horror imagery they want to portray, and succeeding! I said it eariler, and I’ll say it again – I am so surprised and excited to see just how much detail they managed to put into an 8-bit NES game, and Dracula's Curse is a step up once again.

The gameplay is a return to the familiar style of the first game- though, the second hasn’t been completely forgotten, as at the completion of areas, you have to choice on which path to take as you continue your journey. It’s interesting, and though it doesn’t feel as open as Simon’s Quest, the world here still feels very large.

This is also helped by the fact that there are so many innovations on the gameplay to keep it feeling fresh. There are new gimmicks to certain levels, like swamp water acting like quicksand, water rising levels, and more complexity to boss fights. There are also some quality of life changes I noticed: in Castle II, I often died when platforming as my jumps would be compromised by hitting my head on a block above me and falling directly into water below. Here in Castle III, I noticed that when you jump under some platform bricks, you can jump through your full arc instead of hitting your head on them. Clearly, I died enough this way in II that it was noticed and appreciated here.

The main new thing to this game, however, is the buddy system going on. While you journey, you have the option to come across some friends who will join you. There’s Grant Danasty; a pirate guy who can climb walls and ceilings, and uses a short dagger to attack- Sypha Belnades; a powerful magic user who is weak at everything else- and Alucard, the son of Dracula and bearer of PENIS BLAST!!!!

Okay… He can turn into a bat and fly around the level, and use magic fireballs, it just looks like he’s throwing it from his penis. Out of the three recruitable characters, Sypha is the only one who doesn’t have a boss fight. Grant was turned into a monster by Dracula, so you have to fight and knock some sense into him- after which, he joins you. And Alucard challenges you to a battle, of which he’s using as a gauge to see if you are strong enough to help him with his patricidal agenda. Trevor Belmont is the guy you start with, and who is always available to switch back to, though he’s exactly what you’d expect from a Belmont. This character switching system is quite fun, though I don’t think it’s any secret that I love Alucard and therefore mainly played as him or Trevor for most the game. I did start a replay to make sure I recruited everyone and try out their move sets- everyone has a special ability that uses the hearts as ammo, and has different strengths and weaknesses compared to Trevor’s more well-roundedness (especially when you’ve upgraded his whip!)

The music here is absolutely stunning, people love the Castlevania soundtracks for a reason, and it’s due to the masterful composition of this trilogy. There’s even a familiar deja vu to enjoy amongst all the new tracks.

I honestly don’t have much more to say on this game, I just enjoyed playing it and didn’t feel the need to take many notes, as it’s a solid step up and refinement for the series. My only real criticisms are that some of the sprites readability isn’t very good, and detracts from the detail filled world. The background blended in with intractable objects and resulted in times where I couldn’t clearly see where the stairs and platforms I’m supposed to be using actually were. I found this the worst in 9-01, and struggled with eye strain the most in this game. As I’m playing on a modern tv, I do wonder if playing on a CRT would’ve made this critique a moot point, but I’ll just have to chalk that up to the sacrifice of detailed pixel art in the 8-bit era.

Oh, and I guess I should mention the fight with Death, as it was definitely a challenge- one I found harder than the Dracula fight. So hard, in fact, that my only note on it was: DEATH ON 8-03 WAS INSANELY HARD! SAVE STATE FUDGE FOR DESSERT!

This was just a great time, and I’m tied between recommending this or Castle I as the definitive experience for new players wanting to try the og stuff. I’d say just play the whole trilogy, but I had such a great time with all of these games, and it was super fun playing the game that the Netflix Animated series was mostly based on.

I love Castlevania.

Beginning [Level 1]

Mad Forest

Riddle

~~~

Super Mario Odyssey, Switch

The first time a friend got me to try Odyssey was in late 2019. It was his favourite game at the time, and he really wanted me to play it. I gave it a good 40 min or so, but I really wasn’t enjoying it. I commented that I felt that it was trying too hard to recapture the style of Mario Galaxy and failing, and that I’d rather play galaxy instead. Obviously, 40 min isn’t enough time to truly understand WHY I didn’t click with it, but now, after 25+ hours, I can tell you exactly why.

It’s shit.

I was selling old switch games I never played and was able to take advantage of a deal to get Odyssey relatively cheap, and it was the only switch game in stock at the time that seemed somewhat interesting. I thought I may as well give The Mario Title for the switch a go- and give it a fair go at that. I played through every world until I finished the game, exploring and collecting as much as I could, but there was no way I was going to attempt 100% completion.

The basic rundown of the game is the base Mario formula you’d expect. Peach is kidnapped, it’s Bowser’s fault, go save the Princess. The companion character, your hat, joins you as his sister has been kidnapped with Peach; so you both have a common goal. There’s other details to it, but I really couldn’t get invested and I often found myself very lost plot-wise. In 3D Mario fashion, every new instalment seems to stray further into that vague open-ended, pseudo open world style of gameplay. Having such a loosely connected plot and not much more of it connected to the main goal of collecting power moons lacked the clear motivations I needed to get through the game. Like, what am I doing? Am I just collecting power moons? To upgrade my ship and travel to a new kingdom? To do what…? Collect more power moons?

There wasn’t any charm here for me, and I constantly felt as though the game were hollow and devoid of the Mario characteristics I’d expected as a bare minimum. Perhaps thats a failing on my part, but I DO enjoy games where there’s not strictly a reason why the game is happening, just that it is – but you see… those games are usually mechanically interesting, or just plain fun enough that it outweighs my need for plot to help suck me in. This game was not fun, I don’t think I enjoyed myself at all, maybe save for moments where I was desperately trying to look for positives and begrudgingly noting that one area isn’t that bad… I guess. It just feels shit, and I had a similar problem with BOTW. It may be something as simple as outgrowing the target audience, or being a nostalgiaphille who prefers the games from decades ago ‘just cause;’ but I really feel that there is a disconnect in this era of Nintendo and I’m struggling to enjoy any of it, despite generally wanting to enjoy them.

The main gimmick of this game is your hat friend (who’s name is Cappy, despite being a top hat?), and their ability to possess creatures all over the various Kingdoms and utilise their unique skills to complete platforming puzzles across the levels.

I HATE THIS.

All the possessions are functionally the same thing. The fucking onion that I hate. The octopus with a butthole. The fire thing. THEY JUST JUMP. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE CAN JUMP? MARIO. GIVE HIM A FUCKING IRON CAP OR FIRE FLOWER TO CROSS THE DOMAIN AND LET ME JUST JUMP AND DO ACTUAL PLATFORMING. Some of the possessions are really stupid too. I can be a slab of meat, or a manhole, but I can’t be a spiny? There’s hammer bros, AND FIRE HAMMER BROS, BUT MARIO CAN’T JUST BE MARIO BUT WITH A FIRE FLOWER?? I CAN BE A PIRAHA PLANT IN THE LUNCH LAND, BUT NOT IN DONKEY KONG CITY??? WHAT IS GOING ON!?

I remember complaining about the arbitrary and limiting nature of the possessions to my friend, and he said, “If these were flowers you ran into to absorb their powers the same way you do in Galaxy you wouldn't be bitching.” Yeah, cause then I wouldn’t be some big stone guy with glasses to use bad version of the lens of truth, or some fucking onion. I don't want to be an ONION I want to be MARIO. Power ups in Mario are ADDITIONAL powers using MARIO as a base. These possessions are REMOVING Mario and ONLY letting me use the new power. THAT’S SHIT! I would rather deal with power ups like in Mario Galaxy where it’s an addition to the Mario abilities, or a strategic gain one lose another (like the bee mushroom, you can fly and walk/climb on honey, which Mario cannot, but if you touch water you’ll lose the power, unlike Mario who can swim) Said friend brought up the spring mushroom in galaxy, but I hated that power up for the exact same reasons I hate these possessions! They’re dumb gimmicks that don’t do anything!! Most the possessions are various forms of limited jumping, and if it’s not that, it’s some dumb one (maybe two) trick gimmick thing that controls poorly!! Whoop dee doo!!!

To top it off, the base Mario controls suck too. They felt terrible and really weird for me. The depth perception is the worst I’ve experienced in a 3D Mario; I’d often try to jump off things and be flung in a direction no where near where I directed it, and I couldn’t get the hang of the motion controls. The motion controls on the switch are the worst I’ve ever played; and I asked friends and went through various forums trying to make sure my joycons were calibrated properly, but I can only conclude that the controls just suck. They suck badly. I was never able to perform the cap jumps with any consistency, so I avoided using them and had to get creative in other ways (or just give up on trying to get to particularly difficult-to-reach areas). One thing that WOULD’VE HELPED would be if you were still able to access those particular moves with button controls, HOWEVER you’re fucked if you wanna play handheld only, or just can’t seem to figure out the motion controls. This is yet another reason why I will never understand the switch lite (or the fact that the switch is touted as a hybrid console to play docked or handheld, but it’s clearly meant to be docked with game design that actively fucks over players in handheld modes or are just otherwise unwilling or unable to use motion!), but to not even have a toggleable option to play with button only or motion controls is baffling. WHY IS ONE OF THE MAIN DRAWS OF THE GAME LOCKED BEHIND MOTION CONTROLS!? I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

The camera was also incredibly frustrating. It was locked onto some kind of predetermined path (one that felt specifically designed to yank away from where I was TRYING to position it) which made exploring even more frustrating. Half the moons of each level that you need to collect are hidden in corners and strange areas that you’re intended to find through exploration, which you do in part with the camera controls. If I’m constantly in a battle with the camera, despite it being one I can supposedly control, what the hell am I supposed to do!? Even when I’d position it where I wanted, as soon as I started walking, it’d reposition itself, but never in ways where I could leave the camera and just trust that it would generally point to where I wanted. What’s the point.

And, not that boss fights are anything stand-out to me in a Mario game, but all the fights FUCKING SUCKED. I hate the controls and I hate these ugly rabbids looking fuckers! I don’t even like the extended Bowser clown kid lineup, but that’s preferable to random ass rabbit characters. GROSS. What’s wrong with Bowser and Bowser Jr? The lack of Bowser’s presence felt sucky to me as well, I missed him and feeling the looming threat and consequences of his actions if we don’t step up and punch his dick. It’s just a wedding. Oh no. A wedding that Peach doesn’t consent to and even though Bowser is evil and pushy, he still has some minimal form of respect to leave Peach alone when she walks out. (Also, did anyone else feel a bit weird when Mario joined in on trying to propose as an alternate option for Peach? Just me?) When we finally got to Bowser’s dick-punching… THAT SUCKED TOO! Shitty icing on the shitty cake. Fart_Reverb.mp3

While I’m complaining about game mechanics, I want to talk about the main collectables – coins and moons. Theres… not really a difference between them, to be honest. Moons are the same deal as the power stars from Galaxy… but dumb. They’re just hanging out in the levels, free for the taking the same way coins are. Even if there were little mini game things to complete before getting a moon, they felt more like an obligation on the game dev’s part to ‘spice it up’ with ‘varied methods of collection.’ Some moons are more special than others for reasons I cannot see- why are some moons given a cutscene when you collect them, but others aren’t? Why is the ‘grand star’ of moons just three moons at once, which feels even more un-special. I also don’t like that there’s no intrinsic stakes to collecting the moons, it’s the exact same value to find a moon by simply walking up to it, or doing a simple ground pound, to something more complicated that actually requires platforming or some other kind of challenge. Some of these moons are easier to find than coins, which is why they feel as devalued as them. I vastly prefer the way this was handled in Galaxy, where there are different tiers of stars to make it feel proportionate to the effort you put in to collecting them. There’s the power stars themselves, which are usually the main goal of any mission and require some traversal and platforming or puzzle solving of some kind to find and unlock. There’s the power stars that are broken up into bits, where the challenge is much easier but spread out so you have to collect all the bits before unlocking the star, and there’s the grand power stars that were usually locked behind a boss fight. There were easily understood stakes with that system, but here in Odyssey, there’s not a single difference between finding a single moon or a cluster of three, other than the physical number. It’s dumb, and it feels lazy and almost insulting that they’d strip it down to something so basic. Kids could understand Galaxy, why do you feel the need to make it even more basic and like a participation trophy?

The thing with the moons being the same value as coins, is that the coins don’t matter either. Coins are the health currency of the game, but also the economic currency. If you die, coins are deducted and you respawn. If you die with no coins… nothing happens. Your health isn’t even restored when you collect coins, which breaks any connection between coins and health to me. If they’re taken away as punishment, shouldn’t they also reward health when collected? There’s not even the classic 100 coins = 1up here. (Did you also notice that there’s not a single mushroom item in the game? Way to go on skipping more Mario iconography!) Coins being as perfunctory as they are, and in some cases even rarer to come across compared to moons, completely deflated any value either of them have to me. Why am I collecting either? Sure, I can unlock more levels if I collect enough moons, and I can buy stuff with my coins, but every level has a seperate local currency that you have to collect to spend within that world anyway! WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANY OF IT!!

Lastly, I want to touch on the visual and audio vibes of the game, of which I feel disappointed in both. Visually, yeah, there’s a lot of detail and it’s pretty and whatever… but it all felt very bland and hollow to me. So many levels are surrounded by a sprawling abyss of nothing, which felt really uninspired and made me miss when efforts were put into skyboxes and distant parallaxed background elements to make it feel dense and detailed without overwhelming the player or the system. A particular example for me is Bowser’s Weeb Ass Castle – for the end goal of the game, it REALLY felt like something you could slap together in Unity (derogatory). Where’s the spectacle, the theatrics? I can’t even recall anything feeling particularly Bowser about it, it’s just a Japanese inspired level…

I couldn’t even enjoy levels that were technically fuller and more detailed, due to recognising characteristics of other bland levels that come before and after. It felt like an illusion, that the levels had so much shit there, yet there was barely anything to do. Gripes with previous 3D Mario entries, warranted gripes, are ‘fixed’ by… doing the same thing. It’s just that it looks prettier with modern graphics, so it’s technically better enough for the devs to say, “nuh-uh! We fixed it!”

Take for example, a big issue many people have had with all 3D Mario games since Mario 64, is how the pacing feels choppy with continually getting spat out at the end of a level when you collect a star. That’s something frustrating that stayed all the way until Galaxy, where even when you could reasonably collect two or more power stars within the one level, you’re forced to exit the level and re-enter it fro each individual star. I can say similar things about botw, and them taking on the criticism of “there’s too much text!! We want voice acting!!” to become a game that had poorly voice acted cutscenes, ALONG WITH WALLS OF TEXT TO READ ANYWAY. In Odyssey, there are STILL issues with the pacing of collecting stars and still being forced to come to a halt while you watch a cutscene or need to re-enter a level, but because it’s not the same explicit getting-spat-out-of-a-level as previous games, it’s somehow the ‘fix’ players have been asking for. Do you see how that’s a non-solution dressed up as the fix made in response to criticism, without the devs actually addressing or even understanding WHY complaints were made about it in the first place? But cause it’s been ‘fixed’ in a weird way, its not only ‘innovative’ for the newest era of 3D Mario, but its alllll better.

So much of this game felt like a very empty identity crisis, barely resembling Mario or the Nintendo polish I’ve come to expect. Mario has always been a weird series with things that really push what it means to BE a Mario game – but I feel for most previous entries in both his 2D and 3D adventures, there’s always been enough recognisably Mario within the game that it’s easier to roll with whatever whacky thing they’re introducing. Galaxy was already pushing it as a ‘recognisably Mario’ kind of game, but at least it was charming with some solid NPCs and a decent, if simple, plot to follow and tie everything together. I’m more than willing to admit that rose-tinted nostalgia glasses may be fuelling the way I’m digging my heels in on this during comparisons to Galaxy, but I feel that Galaxy was the furthest I can appreciate the pushed boundaries of what makes a Mario game, and where I draw the line in no longer being able to connect with and appreciate it.

Apart from looking bland, the game often sounded bland too. The first couple of worlds have very ambient and minimalistic music, which sucked in my opinion – and although there are some great tracks later on, it just made me feel even more like this game lacked the Mario charm I’d been told to expect. The top 3 tracks I’ve linked at the end are all really nice songs, though they sound like they’re from completely different games, and none of them a Mario one. I felt saddened by the fact that I had to play through 5 worlds before I came across a track that I enjoyed, and even then, it was just enjoyable in a general sense, and not in a way that felt like it belonged in a Mario game. When I listen to the tracks I don’t even know WHICH LEVEL they belonged to for most of them, they don’t sound like the music that should be playing when you’re playing, and more like I just muted the game and put on a playlist of other music.

There’s a lot of elements in Mario soundtracks across the games that can be drawn on to further refine and evolve for a new game, but again, I can only describe the soundtrack as an identity crisis. While there are some of the classic tracks we all know and love rearranged for the game, it was so few and far between that it actually felt jarring to hear Mario music in what is supposedly a Mario game. One of the last worlds you unlock is a massive reinterpretation of the outside of Peach’s Castle from Mario 64, and thats the main area that you hear anything that sounds like traditional Mario in this game. It was disappointing, and I found myself too burnt out and cynical to enjoy something that felt like too much like nostalgia bait instead of loving homage. Overall, while listening to the soundtrack again as I write this, it is genuinely and objectively a nice collection of songs.; it just lacks a certain je ne sais quoi and the specific Mario-flavoured cohesion to tie it all together in my opinion.

One thing that I did enjoy- for the most part -were the 2D platformer sections present in every world. In these sections, you go through a pipe and get turned into an 8-bit Mario to platform across an area and get a power moon. In the early hours of my playthrough, I considered this the highlight of my playthrough… but the more I played, feeling frustrated with the intended platforming and level progression of the game, the more I felt jaded towards these sections. They’re genuinely nice, a short section that’s a return to form for cranky old gamers like myself, and accompanying them is an 8-bit remix of the level’s theme, and Mario will be wearing pixel interpretations of whatever outfit you had on. It’s fun! I want to love it more than I do, but towards the end of my playthough, it began to feel like pandering in order to secure old fans as part of the target audience, while also capturing kids and new fans that are more easily excited by putting a hat on a dinosaur and being able to run into things with bad controls.

They’re spreading themselves thin, in a way that feels non-committal in a way that’s overly safe. I would’ve rathered they put more effort into buckling down and making the possession concept a lot stronger, or whatever other weird direction they wanted to go in, and just believe in it. They’ve already built games around the concept of ‘Mario but he has a water gun,’ and ‘Mario but there’s weird gravity;’ but where those games felt more successful is that they felt like they put more effort into exploring that concept in multiple ways – whereas I feel that theres not really anything fun, interesting or innovative about the possessions in this game. For a game that’s only defence against most of my critiques being, “but it’s for kids! And people new to Mario!!” I want to ask, what exactly is this promising for the future of 3D Mario? The whole game wasn’t that memorable, and that mechanic felt so all-over-the-place that it didn’t get a chance to really shine. I can’t really visualise any levels or gaming moments when I hear the soundtrack or think of this game, and I’m a more visual thinker- that should be easy for me! It’s a glorified tech demo, and even that is a generous description in my eyes. It’s just so epic to play a Mario game where you’re encouraged to not play as Mario for most of it! (But it’s all still Mario, because you have his hat and moustache! Duh!)

I feel like I have so much more to say, but it would be getting even more nitpicky and whingy than it already is. I’ve cut back a lot of what I wrote down when playing, this is the SHORT version!

Well, ok it’s the shorter-but-still-a-classic-Rads-review-slash-retrospective. I’m not really sure what to call these, retrospective feels the most appropriate, but yeah. That’s all I’ll say about Mario Odyssey for now. My copy has found a much better home being regifted to my younger cousins who got a family switch last Christmas. They enjoy it very much, and I fucking hated it and what it represents.

Fuck you, Mario Odyssey!

Steam Gardens

Bubblaine

Bowser's Castle 2

[r0semaryt3a]

PLEASE write a soulmate au with the phantom troupe and reader. Reader hiding away from them for so long, only for one of them to find her randomly and take her away to the troupe

BOY OH BOY- I’m a sucker for soulmate aus so you better bet I JUMPED at the chance to write this!

I will admit I wasn’t entirely sure if you meant like the reader being each individuals soulmates separately or a Polycule type of situation…so I did the former-

DAMN DID THIS TAKE LONG-

I fell to the authors curse so some of this (up to Machi’s) is proofread.

As with any of my PT work focusing on Chrollo, Feitan, Phinks, Machi, Shalnark and Paku

Cw: kidnapping, yandere themes (ish?), drugging and torture vaguely alluded to.

Chrollo

Chrollo was never particularly interested in soulmates. There was no clear path to you, no set strategy for getting him where he needed to go; for a man always three steps ahead: Chrollo didn’t like that very much.

This predetermined destiny it bored him. The troupe gave him the ability to pick and choose where he wanted to go and how he wanted to do things. This soulmate speil didn’t. So, he wouldn’t let himself get wrapped up in it.

Or, that was until you probed his interest. No matter where he was, it was as if some unknown force was pulling you both apart. As if you didn’t want to be found. And that? Well that excited him.

Now you were a heist, a thing to acquire, his shiny new trinket to steal. And you know Chrollo: he loves a good heist.

When he first met you, it was as if fate itself had smiled upon him. You’d dropped your guard; allowed the string binding your two souls to slacken. This happened to occur when he was in the area: dressed to the nines no less. A perfect facade, with you right at his fingertips.

He approached you with a smile, dawdling away from his current objective, you were simple. If he had to put a word to it, endearing would’ve fit the bill.

Getting you to agree to dinner was simpler. He put up a perfect act, the definition of chivalry: chin resting upon his hand, a charming smile painted across his face as he admired you through half-lidded eyes, swirling a glass of wine idly in his hands, far more interested in drinking every aspect of you in.

He played dumb on the soulmate front and you seemed to play dumber, perhaps that was giving you a bit too much credit. However, by the struggle it took to find you; the way you shifted and the twisting of that tormenting string. It would be safe to assume: you knew.

Drugging you wasn’t really part of the plan, I mean, having you here wasn’t a part of the plan. The plan was to steal a classical painting from some uppity aristocrat; the small dose of flunitrazepam was originally going to be used as a fail safe. Though, Chrollo welcomed this turn of events non the less.

Once he has you, you’re bound to wake up wherever the troupe had made residence. He’d played a long enough game to even acquire you; his patience had thinned far too much for him to play it any longer.

He doesn’t rush to introduce you to the spiders. No, he coaxes you into some sense of normalcy before he does that. No point in ruining a good thing before it’s even started.

On the offset you were avoiding him all this time: you best prey your reactions to this eventual introduction are in check. If you truly weren’t playing your own long winded little game of hide and seek: consider yourself lucky (In the vaguest sense of the term).

The spiders took to you quickly, most of them having heard (and many witnessed) their boss’ onslaught of restless nights when he’d finally committed to finding you. A few of them were even impressed that you’d proved so difficult to find: the barrage of compliments on a feat you might not have even been guilty of proving quite confusing. Aside from this little introduction however, you don’t see much of the Troupe. Chrollo prefers to keep you as his own little domestic facade: a microcosm in his pocket.

The very few times you do see them is when Chrollo just needs to be around you. You rest somewhere close, on his lap, agaisnt his shoulder, a few centimetres off hand in hand, the specifics don’t matter. You’re with him and that’s all he needs. The Troupe hardly gives you a second glance: far too used to this little charade. Their leader playing absentmindedly with some aspect of you as he relays the rules of their next heist.

Once the Troupe disperse he always pulls you closer to him, head buried in the crook of your neck as he takes you in for a few seconds.

You’re a gem he’s acquired; he wishes to revel in you a little bit longer.

Feitan

Similarly to Chrollo: Feitan didn’t care. Hell he probably cared less. It was Phinks who actually started talking about it.

He saw no reason to care, you weren’t any use to what the Troupe was doing.

Then your hiding became evident. He liked that: a chase. Every time your string tightened, a part of Feitan lit up.

The time he spent curating your capture filled his waking days. The occasional torturous thought slipping in every now and then.

And oh boy, when he found you? You hardly had time to react. A small whoosh of air and the rest’s a blur to you. He’d slugged you back to where the Troupe reconvened.

Unlike Chrollo, Feitan wastes no time in integrating you into the troupe. It proves no use to him having you in the dark; he doesn’t care much for the facade. You’re his now, soulmates: whether either of you liked it or not. So, it’s best you know his colleagues as soon as possible - they’ll be partly responsible for keeping an eye on you afterall.

You won’t leave his side. Ever. He’s surprisingly adamant about it.

Spindly arms wrap around you, pressing you against his chest. “Staying here.” The ever familiar hiss of his voice rang loud in your ear, the broken lilt of it as alluring as it was fear inducing. Feitan was usually like this, twirling the string that bound you two in between his fingers. He often held you just as he was: close to him. There was no comfort in his hold, for either of you: he just needed it. Needed you.

If you were purposefully hiding? You’ll be quickly introduced to his torturous pastimes.

If you weren’t? Good. Be glad.

After you get used to the whole arrangement he’s actually quite ‘sweet’ (in a twisted sense of the word).

Phinks

One of the only people to court you normally. Like sure, he’s short tempered about it. But, he’ll see it through (maybe.)

Actually wanted to find you, a person bound to him by forces stronger than either of you could comprehend? I mean come on! That’s perfect!

Hours were poured into getting to you. Which, made your hiding all the more obvious. Like some odd rendition of hide and seek, he’d get hairs away only for you to flee again.

He found you eventually, of course, it was inevitable! He was rather rough with the way he restrained you and hauled you back to the troupe. Phinks is another who didn’t waste time in shoving you headfirst into the troupe’s business. Admittedly, with far less grace than any other member.

You’ll spend most of your time with his chin resting on your scalp and his arms swung around you: a distorted sense of a regular relationship. The troupe are an acquired taste to get used to, but Phinks seems to try his best to act as an outlier. For the most part, it works, though, old habits are hard to break.

Once you get used to him, he’ll revert back to his typical idiosyncrasies. He’s actually quite stupid with you: if you can get past circumstances.

Phinks tends to treat the whole ordeal as if the string binding you simply wasn’t there. It’s a fact about him that you’re not quite sure if you enjoy or hate. The way he’ll swing an arm over your shoulder, casual as can be, talking idly. There’s a few questions on your day; how you were. Which, soon snowballed into a refresher of the troupe’s work. All as if he wasn’t glued to your side through the whole ordeal

Which, speaking of, you’ll be bound to get involved in. It’s probably the most nonsensical thing about your arrangement. If Chrollo allows it you’ll simply become a part of the troupe. Apparently you took the place of some clown (from descriptions you’re not sure you want to know anymore).

Machi

Did. Not. Care.

Like at all.

Seriously.

She found you by happenstance; out of sheer boredom used a nen thread to tail you. It wasn’t like she followed you for hours (she actually forgot about the thread quite quickly).

It was only when you’d become so much of a nuisance that she was mistaking your string for her threads that she even bothered.

Machi excels in tailing targets so unlike the others you were quite an easy find. When she found you, she was quick to fall into a “civilian” persona. You hardly knew what to expect when the woman first came up to you, a smile that charming it was hard not to trust. The two of you walked for a while, sharing facts about your life, Machi tailoring her own stories: making herself appear a simple person with a simple life.

Given she didn’t really care much, Machi is completely willing to play the long game, building her facade through a series of weeks. Hell, if it weren’t for the fact you struck a chord inside her she would’ve probably kept up for longer.

When Machi does finally want to cut the charade you’ll know. The snarky redhead you’d been getting to know will have you where she wants you in an instant.

Don’t worry though, Machi’s a doctor (all things considered). Any pain you might wind up with will be quickly rectified. She’s also a lot more level headed than some of the others, she knows not to bombard you…to a degree. Once she’s set on something having to dance around the subject tends to irk her and this is a fact you’ll come to know very quickly. Machi is only amiable for so long.

She keeps you away from the troupe for the most part, you aren’t a spider so there’s no reason for you to be there. If anything the others would probably just make her job harder (and you being there would truly just be a pain).

She’s one of the only ones with a fool proof contingency plan for your escape. Her threads can chase you as long as she needs them to; as short a distance as you’re sure to manage.

Overall despite the circumstances she’s fairly tame. Always having been nonchalant about these sorts of things Machi was never one to chase romance and considering the thread reminding you of your inevitable fate she sees no need in forcing what’s bound to happen anyways. You’ll eventually wear down if you’re angsty and if not? Well it’s a win, win.

She mellows out with you overtime, if not for the constant threat of what might happen if you run off to far your relationship threatens to be…normal? If you could get past all its unique idiosyncrasies.

When she finally caves and introduces you to the Troupe it’s mainly because she has to move for a job. She’s very particular with who you do and don’t meet (Hisoka and Feitan) though tends to leave you about Nobu and Shalnark, with the odd night out with Pakunoda and her.

As I said, as odd as it may be, you’re actually fairly normal.

Shalnark

There’s no amount of information this man can’t find.

And so, there’s no real reason to fuss over you.

Romance is complicated and Shalnark would rather stay clear of the whole thing when he can. He’s after money and Troupe jobs not settling down with soft kisses.

Still, it’s a rather humorous game when he truly gets going.

Watching your life; the way your days play out. Finding all the little puzzle pieces that tie the whole picture together winds up quite the exhilarating pastime. It’s rather humorous in a way, you’re so obviously hiding from your fate that he can’t help but want to shatter the hope you’ve built up. Afterall, even without his license or the information at his disposal your string would guide you to one another sooner or later.

Shalnark is well aware that simply finding you one day and dragging you back to the troupe is a silly thing to do.

But.

It’s easy.

And he can’t really be bothered to do much else. If you run there’s always his nen; if you don’t: you don’t.

He introduces you to the Troupe as if you were an old friend he happened to run across; not the victim of an elaborate game (or well game to him.)

Shalnark doesn’t attempt to form a relationship with you, he already knows who you are and over time you’ll get to know him so it’s just a matter of waiting till you know enough.

Probably won’t use black voice on you.

Maybe.

Pakunoda

This woman actively hunts you down.

The mere thought of a person perfectly fit for her? She simply had to see this.

The way she meets you is similar to Chrollo only purposeful. She takes you out on a lavish night, treating you to wine and delights. A plethora of soft spoken words leave her tongue.

Don’t you just look stunning? Wow you have so much in common.

It’s an interesting experience for her, feeling so connected to a feeling, a fling.

The night progress almost perfectly, it’s tailored to be a blissful evening: utterly perfect in every way. Pakunoda knows how to put on a show and she’s fully prepared to. The Troupe is her life and she’s never cared much for the domestic aspect of the world. And yet, whether it be the string or mere curiosity, she can’t help the way she wants to feed into this. The way she wants to find out if you’re well aware that she’s who you’re tied to or if you truly are blissfully ignorant.

Where she diverges from her close friend is how quickly she pulls you into the Troupe.

You may be entering, endearing even. But, the Troupe is her family (all things considered) and she won’t leave the introductions till later.

Pakunoda works to settle down any and all nerves with ease. Though it may not work she’s certainly skilled at trying to butter you up. She paints a picture of normalcy, a picture she claims the spiders to be a part of. She does care, or tries to? Out of all the spiders she’s the one with the most affection for you. Call it her nature, call it what you want. Pakunoda

Can you tell I haven’t written for these people in a while? Cause I can. I will probably come back to this and give it more content when I have time but by God life kicked me in the shins and ran off with my firstborn the second this ask came in istg.

[fishcat480]

Go Timberwolves!

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Plus size! cheerleader!reader

Description: You're a cheerleader and Elijah is in the stands. Your friend Jessica notices him first.

Warnings: none

____________________________________________________________

“Who is that?”

Jessica was looking over at the stands and toward a group of guys, all sitting next to each other. They looked hilariously out of place, all seemingly dressed for different events. The one with reddish hair and kiss-me lips was wearing a velvet jacket over a v-neck, three necklaces dangling over his heart. You’d seen him hanging around before, and recognized him as Rebekah’s brother Klaus. How many times had he been watching Caroline from the sidelines during a game or desperately offering to walk her to her car? Doubtful that Jessica didn’t know who that was, or that he was clearly obsessed with everyone’s favorite blonde.

Then there was the youngest of the three. He was dressed pretty normally for a high school football game in a t-shirt and jeans. He spoke animatedly to Klaus, who looked about as thrilled to listen as he would have been to get struck by lightning. His name was escaping your memory, but it was another K name, you were sure of it. Kyle! No…Kal?

All thoughts of K names were stripped from your thoughts the second your eyes landed on Jessica’s mystery man. 

His hair was dark, and his eyes were darker. His features were angular, practically Grecian. He was wearing a suit, which was ridiculous because who wore a suit in Mystic Falls unless they were a realtor or attending a Lockwood party? Somehow, though, he pulled it off so perfectly that there was no question that he should be wearing it. 

Never had you been so struck by a stranger. His eyes scanned over the crowd, and across the field, before landing squarely on you.

You blushed and turned away, heart thundering in your chest.

Elena and Bonnie had followed Jessica’s gaze too, and gave each other knowing looks. You were friendly with Elena but not close. You and Bonnie had been good friends since middle school, though, so you felt no shame sidling up to her and joining her conversation.

“Info on Jessica’s mystery man?” you asked, spreading your legs as you sat next to Bonnie, beginning to stretch. She laughed and gave you a stern look. “He’s Klaus’ older brother. No mystery.”

You bent forward, stretching out your back and Bonnie followed suit. “Off limits?” you ask, trying to seem curious but not invested. 

“Yes.” she said quickly. Elena smacked Bonnie’s thigh. 

“Elijah is not off limits.” she said. “He’s actually the only one out of the three of them I’d say is pretty on…limits…”

Elijah....you tried the name out in your head. Yes, you decided, that was a good name.

You all giggled. “I mean, Klaus is just too in love with Caroline.” you shrugged. “I wouldn’t dream of going anywhere near him.” 

You sat up and bent your neck to the side, eyeing the rest of the cheerleaders. “Hey, where is Caroline?”

“Tyler drama.” Bonnie said conspiratorially. She sat upright, finished with her stretching. “He’s leaving again.”

“Shit.” you said, finishing up yourself. “I don’t really know what she sees in him anyway. He’s always been kind of an asshole. And Klaus seems to really like her.”

“Well Klaus needs to earn her.” Elena said hastily, turning away slightly. You weren’t sure what that was supposed to mean, but if Bonnie’s similarly agitated face was any indication, there was something going on that you weren’t in on. It wasn’t really any of your business anyway, you conceded, so you didn’t harp on it. Boy drama was so not your thing.

There was a fanfare suddenly, as the marching band began playing the introduction music for the Timberwolves. Rebekah stood and called you and the other cheerleaders into formation. 

Once the players began coming out, you’d go right into the classic Timberwolves fighting cheer. 

Just as the first player was making his entrance, a blonde head appeared next to you, startling you. It was as if she'd appeared out of thin air.

“Caroline!” you said, throwing a hand on your chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”

She smiled nervously. “Did I?”

You just laughed and joined the rest of the girls in the Timberwolves fighting chant, shaking your pom-poms and kicking your legs up. 

The game didn’t start out super well for the Timberwolves, so you didn’t have a ton to do for awhile. You spoke to Caroline briefly about Tyler, but she didn’t want to say much, and she seemed genuinely upset about something. You weren’t close enough with her to give her emotional support, so you instead distracted her with a quick game of fuck, marry, kill between the three handsome Mikaelson boys. 

“Kill Kol, Marry Klaus, Fuck Elijah.” Caroline said confidently. Kol! That was his name.

She was speaking a bit loudly, like she wanted someone to hear her. Probably Jessica. 

You glanced up at the stands and noticed Klaus and Kol with their heads bent together. Elijah looked completely nonplussed. 

“What about you?” she asked. 

You glanced up at the brothers again. Elijah was looking in your direction now, almost as if he was listening to your conversation. He was probably just looking at the cheerleaders. He definitely wasn’t admiring you - you were the only girl on the squad who wore a uniform above a size large. 

Still, you couldn’t help but fantasize about the idea of the three of them. Kol wasn’t really your type, so he was an easy kill. Klaus was gorgeous, to be sure, but something about Elijah was still singing through your veins after laying eyes on him that first time. 

“Kill Kol, fuck Klaus, marry Elijah.”

Caroline gave you a wicked smile. “Elijah, huh?”

You shrugged. “He’s incredibly good looking.”

“Poor Kol.” Caroline said, her lip pouting. 

“Rejection builds character.”

You glanced up again, and Elijah looked as if he might be laughing - Klaus too. Kol had his arms crossed against his chest. Weird….

Rebekah shrieked all of a sudden, breaking you out of your thoughts, as the Timberwolves finally scored, and the squad got on their feet to cheer. 

The game ended with a Timberwolves win which you were thankful for - every win meant half price burgers at the grill. You and a few other girls planned to go there after, and you grabbed your stuff from the locker room, hoping to get to your car and beat them there - you were not going to be the fat girl in a mini skirt sliding into a booth full of people. 

Bonnie, Elena and Caroline were all leaving together, huddled in conversation. 

“Half price burgers, ladies?” you asked, walking backwards in front of them. “A Timberwolves win is a win for all of us.” you joked, quoting your incredibly cringy gym coach.

The girls laughed, but shook their heads. 

“Homework.”

“Boy drama.”

“Tired.”

They’d all spoken at the same time, and you gave them all an incredulous look. “Ladies, I’m heartbroken. Next time if you’re going to break my heart, do it one at a time.”

You gave them a winning smile, and they returned it easily, thankful you hadn’t been upset.

“Next time I’m making you guys go!” you called, still walking backwards as you exited the hallway out of the locker room. You backed into the double doors leading to the parking lot and called a goodbye to them, turning around.

And slamming right into someone.

“Oh!” you cried, toppling towards the asphalt. The ground never came, though, because a pair of hands was holding you steady, and lifted you slowly upwards until you were staring Elijah Mikaelson in the face.

“My apologies.”he said, in a voice that hit that your ears and sent shivers straight to the apex of your thighs. Your jaw dropped, suddenly faced with his nearness. 

“Not at all!” you cried. “I wasn’t looking.” 

Not too far away stood Kol and Klaus. The former was watching you and Elijah, looking like he was trying very hard not to laugh. Klaus, of course, had become distracted the moment Caroline had appeared. He was stalking towards her, and to your surprise, Caroline looked like she might be walking towards him too. Normally she brushed him off completely. 

You focused your attention back on Elijah. 

“Excellent job tonight.” he said, his eyes locked on yours. You felt flushed from the unbroken eye contact, but didn’t dare break it. 

“Thanks. It makes our job a bit easier when the team actually manages to score.”

He laughed, full and bright, and it made your heart soar to hear it. 

“I’m Y/N.” you said, introducing yourself. 

“Elijah. Mikaelson.”

“Nice to meet you Elijah.” 

You offered your hand and he took it firmly in yours, but rather than shake it, he brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it. Ok, you were officially a puddle on the ground and people were going to have to step in you to get to their cars.

“Hi!” came a bubbly voice, and you glanced over seeing Jessica. Of course she was going to try and stake her claim. 

“I’m Jessica.” she said, sidling up next to you. “I saw you in the stands earlier. You’re a Mikaelson, aren’t you?”

Elijah nodded politely. “My reputation precedes me.”

Jessica smiled her flirty smile and pushed her chest out. “Rebekah and I are good friends. I make a point to know my friends’ families. It’s only good manners.”

You rolled your eyes involuntarily from behind Jessica, who had stepped into your space. When had she ever spent time with Rebekah outside of practice? She was clearly making her claim known, and you huffed, backing off. 

A guy like Elijah wouldn’t be interested in you, anyway. It would have been nice to at least been given a chance, though, before perfect little Jessica had to come in and do her thing. 

You sighed to yourself. That wasn’t nice. Jessica was your friend. It just sucked, sometimes, being the only bigger girl in a group of girls. Things were different for you. 

“Well, I’ll let you two get acquainted.” you said, and Jessica quickly told you not to wait up for her at the Grill. You smiled encouragingly at her, even though you would have rather eaten nails. Jessica did technically see Elijah first, though, so regardless, the rule of dibs was firmly in place. Elijah’s eyes met yours and he looked…disappointed? It was probably nothing. 

As you turned to go to your car, Matt Donovan brushed past you, walking fast. “Sorry, Y/N!” he called, power walking to his truck. You shook your head, laughing. You’d never seen Matt move that fast for anything, not even out on the field.

The other girls had made their way out now, and you caught up with them briefly to let them know you'd be going home instead of out. You weren't really in the mood for celebration any more. They gave you tight hugs and told you to call them in the morning, and you gave them all the finger just to get a laugh out of them.

Bonnie was leaning against her car when you made your way to yours. 

“Why’d you do that?” she asked, giving you a curious look.

“Why’d I do what?” you said, tossing your duffle into the backseat. 

“You just let Jessica take over. You were talking to Elijah first.”

“Yeah, but Jessica saw him first. Besides, I bumped into him. It’s not like we talked about anything profound.”

Bonnie sighed. “You wanted to talk to him though.”

You crossed your arms. “Yeah, so?”

“So!” she cried, placing her hands on your shoulders. “So you’re the funniest girl on the planet, and you're beautiful and talented and you deserve to be happy.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up.”

“It’s true! You’re amazing.”

“I know, I just wanted you to say more.”

Bonnie shoved at you playfully. “See? Your wit is unmatched.”

“And you’re kind.” you said seriously. “And a really, really good friend.”

Bonnie looked down, her mouth quirked to the side. “Thank you.”

A laugh echoed from across the parking lot, and you stared at Caroline and Klaus standing by Caroline’s car. They were standing close together and laughing, and Klaus’ finger was twirled around a strand of Caroline’s hair.

You hit Bonnie in the shoulder and pointed. 

“Ummmmmm?” You gave her an incredulous look.

“I know!” Bonnie said, coming to lean against your car. “She said she broke up with Tyler. She said she’s done with wishy-washy.”

You smiled happily as the two continued flirting. “I’ve been dying for them to get together.”

“No, literally!” She threw her hands up in the air. “The tension was incredibly cuttable.”

You snorted. “Like, thick enough I think I’d need a chainsaw.”

Bonnie hid her giggle behind her hand. You watched Klaus and Caroline as Bonnie began asking you if you were still going to the grill.  You wished you had a guy to flirt with against your car.

“I’m kind of hungry all of a -”

Bonnie’s voice trailed off, and you tore your eyes away from the happy couple to stare at your friend. 

“Bon?”

Her eyes were trained behind you, a small smile on her lips. You followed her eyes, and there was Elijah. His nearness startled you, and you jumped a foot in the air.

“My apologies.” he said, amusement in his eyes. 

“We have got to stop meeting like that.” you responded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Bonnie called, already on the other side of her car and hopping in the front seat. You gave her an incredulous look. 

“Traitor!” you called, as she began to pull out. She looked completely self righteous as she pulled out of the parking lot, Britney blasting on her speakers.

“Well..” you breathed, turning back to Elijah. “Twice in one night? To what do I owe my great fortune?”

He shrugged. “I have a thing for cheerleaders.”

Your jaw dropped. “Wait, are you serious?”

He laughed. “No, not at all. But I saw you from the stands and wanted to get to know you better. So here I am.”

You couldn’t help the huge smile overtaking your face. Elijah Mikaelson wanted to get to know you? 

“What about Jessica?”

He shrugged. “She’s a nice girl. Not really my type.”

“And I am?”

He huffed. “Am I not making myself clear? Shall I fetch a plane and spell it out in the sky for you?”

I shook my head, faux serious. “It’s nighttime Elijah. I’d never be able to see that.”

He snorted - actually snorted. It was the most adorable thing you might have ever heard. 

“You’re a minx, and you know it. Now agree to go to dinner with me.”

“Half price burgers at the grill?”

He smiled wryly. “No, that won’t do. I’m a full price kind of guy. I need candles, roses, the whole chair pulling out thing. Carlo’s. Friday night. Eight o’ clock.”

Carlo’s was like, ridiculously nice. And expensive. “But that’s-”

“It’s what?” he challenged. “Because if you’re suggesting I can’t afford it…”

You shook your head. “No, of course not. I’m sure you can. But I can’t!”

Faster than you could even fathom, Elijah was backing you up into the side of your car, his hands locked on either side of you, face inches away from your own. His eyes were dark and bore into you, making your palms begin to sweat.

“I’m not in the habit of taking women out on dates and having them pay.” His breath fanned across your face. Your eyes flickered down to his lips, and you shivered. His presence was intoxicating. 

“Have I made myself clear?” he asked, and damn if that question didn’t excite you. You nodded, your breath hitching, and he leaned even closer to you for a moment before pushing himself away.

“Good!” he declared, and once he backed off, he took a moment to rake his gaze across your body. Your uniform did little for the imagination, and you were kind of thankful.

“See you soon, Y/N.” He called sweetly, shifting from domineering to polite so quick you had whiplash. You watched him go, a dopey smile on your face.

“Wait!” you called. “Do you want my phone number?”

He paused, then reached into his pocket for his phone. He typed for a moment, then locked the screen and placed it back in his pocket.

Your phone dinged.

Tell Bonnie I said thank you.

You smirked. Of course Bonnie had given him your number. You'd have to remember to get her a thank you gift.

As you started your car and got ready to go, movement from the car behind you caught your attention in your mirror. You struggled to see clearly what it was, but when you did, you were shocked.

There, in the pickup truck Rebekah Mikaelson had gifted him, was Matt Donovan making out with her brother Kol. 

You laughed all the way home, imagining the look on Rebekah’s face when she finds out.

[nintendroid]

Happy belated birthday to the Nintendo 64, released in North America on September 29th making it 28 years old!

No other console I've owned gives me the nostalgia bug like the N64. I have so many stories of the adventures I had with it I could almost write a book. Maybe someday I will, but for right now let's talk about how you can celebrate Nintendo's most unappreciated console. We'll look at some modern software, some underappreciated games you should play and some cool N64 oddities. (NOTE: None of the items mentioned are sponsored. I just really dig the products)

Essential Hardware:

Brawler 64 Controller!

Available wired or wireless, the Brawler is for players who want to play the N64 with a more modern controller. I bought one some years back and have been nothing but satisfied with it. Check out my original review here. Shop here.

The Everdrive 64!

A cartridge capable of storing every N64 game EVER! Not just official games either, but fan-made game mods too! An absolute must if you're hardcore into N64 gaming. It should be noted, there are cheaper alternatives out there, but the rumor is that they can fry your console. KRIKzz-brand Everdrive's are known for their quality and for my money I want something that's not going to ruin my hardware. Check out my original review here. Shop here.

Underrated Games: Even with such a short library, there are good N64 games that don't have the Nintendo or Rare label on them. These aren't all of them, but here's a few that pop up in my mind when I think of the topic of underappreciated N64 games. Yes, some of these are ports but the N64 ports are the way I experienced them and I still prefer the N64 versions.

Duke Nukem: Zero Hour

In my opinion, the best sequel to Duke 3D. Don't let the 3rd-person perspective deter you, this is an authentic Duke Nukem game. Go through time shooting zombies, aliens, Jack the Ripper and send those alien scum packing. Duke's sense of humor is present, even under Nintendo's famous censorship guidelines.

Road Rash 64

A motorcycle racing game where you clobber the other racers with pipes, crowbars and plungers while avoiding the cops. It's so awesome and features one of the greatest songs Sugar Ray ever put out.

40 Winks

It was cancelled at 99% complete in the N64's heyday but publishing company Piko Interactive bought the rights and gave it an official release in 2019. While not what I would call a "classic" It's still a fun game to play over a weekend. As mentioned in my original review, it reminds me of a 3D adaptation of Nightmare on Elmstreet for NES.

007 - The World Is Not Enough

While not quite known as it's big brother, TWINE is a fun FPS Bond game in its own right. Eurocom (who developed Duke Nukem Zero Hour and 40 Winks!) knew they wasn't going to top Rare's iconic Goldeneye, but they did their best and it shows. The one advantage TWINE has over Goldeneye is multiplayer bots so you can play multiplayer because you don't have friends willing to come over because you're a 35-year-old father of two with a mortgage and 9-to-5.

Mods: The modding scene on the N64 is opening up and as a result we're getting some quality titles that extends the life of our favorite system. The one's mentioned here can be played on your actual N64 with the assistance of an Everdrive.

Smash Remix

Everyone collectively loves the original Super Smash Bros, but we can all agree it's pretty barebones in terms of content. Smash Remix fixed that with tons of new N64-era appropriate character additions, new levels, gameplay modes, music, costume changes and MORE. Phenomenal mod if you're a Smash 64 fan.

Shotgun Mario

Its Super Mario 64 but he has a shotgun. Fun for a laugh but adds a fun new mechanic to a classic. No more hoppin-and-boppin, Mario is here to dispense justice!

AKI-engine Wrestling Game Mods

I know most of you reading this aren't wrestling fans but the N64 had some iconic wrestling games thanks to Japanese studio AKI. Fans have been making mods for the AKI-developed titles like WWF No Mercy, Virtual Pro Wrestling 64, WCW vs NWO World Tour ect for years. It's hard to choose just one and each game has a wealth of characters, new arenas, match stipulations, create a wrestler options and much more.

Weirdo N64 Products: Any other time I would have 100 things to list but this is all I could find in the short time I have.

N64 Shirt!

Yes this bad boy is official. What other officially licensed shirt has Fox McCloud and a stormtrooper on it? In modern times, your best luck of finding something like this would be in a midwestern flea market.

Bill Goldberg Memory Card!

WCW legend Bill Goldberg had a memory card for some reason. I'm not complaining because it's awesome. Nothing I would love more than looking down after losing races in Diddy Kong to see big Bill yelling at me, motivating me to be a champion.

In conclusion: The N64 is a flawed but legendary console - it's popular but underrated, widely-known but intimate. My wishlist for the future is more awesome game mods of well known titles AND lesser known titles (let's fix Superman 64 or Carmageddon!). If you read this far, I hope this got you in the mood to play some N64.

[oiblackestsheep]

Hi! I really love your memes. Have you already done MBTI types as video games?

Thank you so much!! Honestly, I probably have at some point in the many years, but if I have, it's been a long time, so let's give it a go. I tried to get a mix of old, new, classic, and modern games in, and tried not to give every one a SUPER OBVIOUS game. Hope you like it! 😸

MBTI Types as Video Games

INTP: Slime Rancher

It took everything in my power to not do Portal 2 for INTP, because it seems like the obvious choice and I wanted something other than that. Maybe not as puzzle-oriented, but Slime Rancher captures a different side of INTPs like their affinity for unique experiences through Ne, comfort Si that allows them to organize all their slimes effectively, and their inferior Fe that lets them take care of cute little creatures with minimal risk.

INFP: Minecraft

An instant classic that lets your imagination run wild and live your life the way you think it should be lived, without the limitations of oppressive reality. Build the comfiest home with as many floors, rooms, walls, etc. as you want. Your house wouldn't be structurally sound and is impossible to create in real life? DOESN'T MATTER, it's what the INFP wants, and it what they can have in their own little world.

ENTP: Among Us

A creative and random environment where you have to either find the killer or be the killer terrorizing the space ship crew, interrupted by segments of ARGUING ~*~discussion~*~ about who the imposter might be, followed by voting to eject them into space via mob-mentality? Is there any game more chaotic and perfect for the ENTP to thrive in that I'm missing, here?

ENFP: Skyrim

You are the nonspecific protagonist with unique dragon powers that let you literally scream somebody to death, and, once again, live your life the way you want to live it, as chaotic or lawful as you might want. Become a criminal werewolf who leads a dark, murderous cult by night, and is the dean of a magical college by day? YOU CAN DO THAT.

INTJ: Satisfactory

Slowly and steadily building the most effecient space colony to mine resources and build interesting and novel alien technology? What could the INTJ want more. It won't happen overnight, but the efforts of the INTJ compound with each and every day, and one day, they'll make use of every square inch of the planet's surface for their factory.

INFJ: Coffee Talk

A lesser known game to some, but just as impactful, nonetheless. You're simply a barista in a coffee shop, but you have the pleasure of meeting and hearing the stories of a diverse cast of characters that let you into their unique inner worlds. You'll get to explore their experiences and choose your own dialogue to interact with their lives and offer your input that is tailored to the individual character.

ENTJ: Left 4 Dead

The goal is simple and well-defined: survive the zombie apocolypse. But the only way to do it in this game is to have all 4 players work together in perfect syncronicity as a well-oiled machine to cover all your bases as you traverse each level. It requires delegation of tasks, foresight of what's to come, and just a little bit of quick, thinking-on-your-feet, a perfect combination to engage their Te, Ni, and Se, respectively.

ENFJ: Mario Kart

Everyone knows Mario Kart, and everyone loves Mario Kart. Much like an ENFJ, themselves. Mario Kart has a very low barrier-to-entry so that the majority of people can learn to play quickly, and enjoy time with their friends! It's fun, it's casual, and it requires a bit of that tertiary Se to make some quick turns to finish in first. The game resembles the ENFJ personality itself, and it is a favorite of an ENFJ I know for those same reasons (as she doesn't play many video games).

ISTP: Assassin's Creed

(Couldn't find any good covers with Altair that fit tumblr's format, so I did Ezio, the fan favorite (and also probably an ENFJ assassins which is p cool?))

The franchise has undergone a lot of change over the years, so I do NOT mean the RPG elements, but rather the original elements of the games that made them so great! ISTPs would rather have a more focused way to engage the game, instead of the endless possibilities of an open-world, anyway. Quick reactions to stay hidden, a good grasp of the terrain around you and how to use it against your enemies, and a solid amount of Ti to calculate the most logical time to strike makes for a great way to engage the ISTP's top functions.

ISTJ: Super Smash Bros

Again, the goal is simple, fight your friends and be the last one standing. The rules are simple, in fact, they are completely customizable so you can save your settings to define exactly what kind of experience you want to have, and you know what to expect. You can play it simple with a set number of lives and no items, or you can crank the spawn rate of all items up to the max, if you're in a particularly low-Ne, (low-risk) feeling, kind of mood. Still, the goal is always the same. Hone your strategy, defeat your friends (or foes lmao)

ISFP: The Sims

Introverted by nature, they appreciate being able to spend some time alone without having to give up the things they like about the sensory world, including house and clothing fashion-design. These aesthetics were made to be seen, but sometimes they can only be made in a video game, and sometimes you need a break from real people. It's a realistic enough game that they can connect with it in a more relatable way than more abstract types of games, but they still please the Fi desire to live their personal life the way they wish without the limitations of reality.

ISFJ: Animal Crossing

Again, it's a familiar environment, with just a little flaire to excite that inferior Ne. You've got what seems like endless tasks (in a good way lmao) to keep you busy taking care of your island, and also forming positive relationships with your fellow residents! You get to meet new people, help solve the residents' problems, become a pillar of your community, and at the end of the day, retire to your cozy home.

ESTP: Palworld

It's new, it's weird but somehow familiar, it's Pokemon with guns. It might not be the most "original" game, but it was an inspiration nonetheless for the simple fact that it took all of the known successful elements of gameplay that people enjoy from other games, and put them all into one game that, for lack of better words, "just gives the people what they want". What you see is what you get, and it packs a punch.

ESTJ: Dark Souls

Although it is the more introverted game compared to ISTJ, it requires an incredible amount of strategy in order to champion this game. The medieval themes are familiar, but that's the only comfort the game provides due to its overwhelmingly punishing gameplay style that only the thickest of skin can overcome. What says thick skin like inferior Fi?

ESFP: Rocket League

It's extreme soccor (or football for my friends from across the pond), but instead of playing as people, you play as cars with rockets to propel them. Why, they ask? Because you want to, obviously. Realisitic enough that the concept is still based in a familiar reality, but the mayhem and competetion has been dialed up to 11 simply because it makes it more interesting that way. Again, what you see is what you get, AND IT PACKS A PUNCH.

ESFJ: Tabletop Simulator

It might seem like an odd choice, but hear me out. It's social, it's familiar, it's easy to jump into, and you're not limited to the physical copies of games that your friends have at their houses - you've got, like, any tabletop game you could possibly want to play! It alleviates the limitations we feel in real life when we want to play games with friends, but maintains the integrity of connection and fun you have with them. PLUS, you can flip the table after losing a game for comedic effect without making a mess in someone's IRL home.

[cer-ber-iii]

Can’t remember if I’ve asked you this but what are your favorite pieces of horror media?

You have not asked this!! Oooh!!! That's hard to really answer cause there is so much out there and each one brings something good to the table or dose it in their own unique way so instead of 1 I'll give a few! Genre wise my favorite is the genre of confronting your inner demons (Silent hill, American Mcgee's Alice, Cry of fear, My house.Wad, House of leaves, etc) It's a story line real close to my heart. It's helped me through a lot and generally is just what I enjoy most. Where it's so utterly detailed that even minor things have a impact on the character. And the character themselves are not black or white, they're grey, most of the time having done something horrible in their lifetime or thought about doing something horrible. We love a good mental health story in this house <3 Movie wise there is just so many good ones out there! First that come to my mind though is As above so below, The blair witch project (1999), and the SAW series. Found footage is just so entertaining for me, like I adore Cloverfield as well cause it combines found footage with big giant monster! The Thing (1982) is also one I recommend watching since it does such a good job as a mystery thriller (My pfp is from that movie!) Another one I highly recomend that I also greatly enjoy, Nope! Though I'm also a fan of the classic slasher movies like Child's play and Killer Klowns from Outerspace. Those are always fun to watch with friends! Video games I have to recommend Shipwrecked 64, Little nightmares and of course the original fnaf. There's probably more but those are the ones that come to mind! Some miscellaneous stuff that I also highly enjoy! Welcome home, MISTER MANTICORE's videos, NES Godzilla Creepypasta, Petscop, Gemini home entertainment, Local 58, Liminal Land, and This house has people in it. I know there is so much that I missed that is also really good but can't pop up in my mind or a quick google search. Like 1 is Alien: Isolation! Great game if you enjoy the alien series! I just love me some creatures <3

[candy8448]

It is done!

I've finally completed many month (maybe even over a year) mission of listening to all the zelda OSTs in release order (now it did take ages cuz i would spend forever between each ost and the longer ones would take so long to get through)

I compiled all my favorite tracks into one massive playlist, as well as covers that i like!

Now i am going to go over each ost and say my thoughts on them! Ill also be mentioning one or two tracks from each game that were really notable for me

(I didn't listen to Twilight princess or Spirit tracks because i dont want spoilers for when i play them)

The legend of Zelda:

The ost for this game is 9 mins long, drastic difference to totk with many MANY hours of music

Obviously a classic, the overworld theme. I really like the "game over" theme, its nice but the ringing of the NES boops hurts my ears so much

Adventure of Link:

I really like the final dungeon theme and the battle theme, so good to just jam to

A Link to the past:

Not much to say here, it set a bunch of classics, dark world theme is super good though and the great fairy fountain theme will always be welcome whenever i hear it, either as the great fairy or as the title screen (tbh i prefer it more as the title screen theme) and the title screen theme! When that bursts out i wanna scream, It fills me with so much nostalgia for this series as a whole

Link's awakening:

Now this one is difficult, because this game is my favorite game out of the games i haven't played just plot wise, but for some reason listening to the music was just super tiring for no reason. Now i was listening to the gameboy version but i tried the swith version and it was also tiring and tedious to listen to?? Im going to go through the switch version ost at some point in time.

You can never go wrong with tal tal hights though, and the ballad of the windfish is just 😭

Ocarina of time:

Im afraid to say anything on it because of the fans of it XD i did play a tiny bit of the game but got to Zora's domain as a child and stopped

Obviously it has a great soundtrack, it has a ton more classics like gerudo valley and such. I like Sheik's theme. The fire temple i am aware is controversial and i think that's the reason it makes me so unnerved when i listen to either version of it

My absolute favorite though is Song of storms (or windmill hut). The first time i heard it, it just stuck with me and i am taken in by it, it luls me, its like magic, im enraptured by it. I don't know what it is about this 20 second theme but i can listen to this on repeat for hours, its one of the first things i learned on piano, when i played the game i just stood in the windmil hut for ages. Such a good track...

Majora's mask:

SUCH an earie ost! I have been wanting to play this game forever. The vibes the ost is just perfect for this game. Clock town is obviously good and its cool how it gets more and more frantic as time goes on, you really feel like time is running out. Overall i think the whole soundtrack does amazingly at embodying this idea.

Oracle of Ages and Seasons:

The two tracks are very similar rhat i can't eeally do these two games separately. For some reason i have a bias towards seasons despite not playing either or really knowing the story??

I love that seasons has song of storms (for some reason), skull pirate's escape is good (oos), ambi's place (ooa) noice, Nayru's song is so nice, and i adore the "Zelda awakens" theme that's in both of them

I love how the tracks for these went back to the boopy style, it makes the themes just has a certain feel that i cannot put words to that feels so right. I have the feeling that when i play these games im going to have a great time with them

Wind waker:

Tbh, not for me, the style of the music is just not the kind of thing i like. Doesnt mean it doesnt have really good tracks though!! Cannot go wrong with dragon roost and i do like a track that i cannot remember the name of (but tbh that is just mostly because i really like the beat) and the Great Sea sailing theme does sound so freeing, you can feel the wind in your hair with that track. Its just that the rest of the music style is just not something i dig so much, its just a personal opinion.

Four swords:

I forgot about this game, and could not recall the ost at all. Had to open sime tracks again to listen to and tbh all i can say is... meh? The ost isn't too great... gotta give it credit for it's version of the overworld theme thoug, possibly one of the better different renditions?

Minish cap:

A cute little game, dont remember much of the soundtrack but i have quite a few saved from it so it must count for something, and i really like the "story" theme whenever i hear it and Mt. Crenel is okay

Phantom hourglass:

Again, it has a similar style to wind waker and i didn't really like it. Linebeck's theme though, what a wonderful character! ("Return of the Ocean King" is also decent)

Spirit tracks:

I did not listen to this soundtrack but the ost is just *chefs kiss* from the ones ive heard. The tracks "the sacred duet" and "battle with king Malladus" are the tracks that made me desperately want to play this game and i am still longing to play it because of these two tracks. I love how throughout the Malladus battle theme there is the constant chugging of the train on the track. I have no doupt that the rest of the ost will be this amazing. (The title theme is perfect, you really feel like you are on a racing train) ive since listened to "in the fields" and ooooooh i love ittttt i so cannot wait to play this game!

Skyward sword:

Man you KNOW i can ramble about this forever. My favorite Zelda game! I cannot put into words how much this game's ost makes me feel all of the emotions in the world, i can only list a few tracks that make me feel so much oooough

Ballad of the goddess (obviously), Romance in the air makes me all fluttery and happy, skyloft theme always feels like home, any version of fi's theme puts me in tears, Groose's theme he is such a silly guy, the loftwing flying theme is so nostalgic, Ghirahim's theme is so menacing, all the Lanayru tracks have such a certain zen feel, silent realm theme's have such a frantic echoey empty perfect feel to them which fit so well, and the guardians awaken theme will make me have a heart attack, and the song of the hero has so many feelings ive talked about before, so much that this track alone made me make a painting for the scene.

This game just stepped into another feel of zelda music with the orchestra, and it captures the grandios of this big, timeline setting adventure so amazingly. I cannot get enough of this game. Arguably one of the best Zelda OSTs in my opinion.

A Link between worlds:

Such a good ost in this game. Dunno what i can say apart for it is one of the better ost's in the series for some tracks alone. Ravio's theme, Hilda's theme, Yuga's theme, Lorule overworld, all the milkbar tracks (the fact that there is also ballad of the godess in there makes me so happy as well), so much of the game's ost is so good!

Triforce heroes:

Such a surprisingly great ost for a game that sounds so much like a fever dream. The main theme?!?!? The woodlands?!?!?!?!? I cannot stop listening to these two such a bop, go listen to them!

Breath of the wild:

Botw has no music???? What the heck???

The tracks are so good! Even all the ambient piano flourishes! It fits the atmosphere so well, but you've probably heared people saying all this before so onto some of my favorite tracks

All the champion's themes fit each one so well, main theme cannot not be good, i lobe how Tarrey Town's theme builds up with each character's home town. The divine beast themes are really cool sounding. Parasailing minigame theme is so fun! Guardian theme will also give me a heart attack, the memory get jingle, i miss Kass and his music so much, Korok forest is so :D, HYRULE CASTLE IS SO GOOD OH MY i love the marching feel. Dark. Beast. Ganon. THIS THEME IS CRAZY BRO that piano!??!!?? All the everything going together?!??!!? This fight may be a victory lap and super easy but it sure as hell has some fire music!!!

Tears of the kingdom:

I finally finished this ost today. It reuses a lot from botw, and tbh it is a little dissapointing how none of the village themes changed even if it does feel safe and familiar, and the surface is largely the exact same even though it is where we spend so much of our time.

There are obviously amazing tracks original to this game though. The main theme was so amazing to hear in full after so long of waiting! So was the prologue theme ("poor Hyrule, for Link has found the body" remember that???) All the dungeon themes have me in awe alongside the sage themes. Each one just fills me with so much ough. The dungeons and their themes were definatly a massive step up from the previous game. I ranked all the sage themes before in another post and go deeper into each one. Link humming while cooking is so cute! The big "BWAAA" when diving into the depths feels so cool and creepy. One of my favorite details is that in the forgotten temple, next to the goddess statue you can hear a broken up version of Fi's theme which im so happy for the sksw ref! It also supports my favorite hc that the forgotten temple is the sealed grounds from sksw! (As well as the reward you get fron that quest but we aren't talking abiut that)

!!!!End spoilers next!!!!!

In the lead up to the final dive into ganondorf's army, the track reminds me of Skyrim and it really does not fit in Zelda. I feel like they shouldn't have used that track. Ganondorf's fight theme is so cool, how at first it is quiet to just hear you two dueling in an echoey room and them builds up. AND HOW CAN YOU FORGET THE FINAL FALL?!?!?!? Such a PERFECT END its amazing how is blends so smoothly to create the perfect scene, all your emotions building up to the end!!! Such a perfect ending to the game. All the music in the end sequence in the Hyrule castle chasm really does do an amazing job of dialing up and down the tension and emotions at the right moments and building up everything until the very end when the credits start rolling.

Overall the ost is great considering all the new tracks!

So that is all the games (other than tp and st)!

Now on to all of the non-cannon games! 🥲

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 26/01/2024

​THIS RIP WAS MADE BY TEETH GANG

Season 3 Featured on: The SiIvaGunner Spooktacular Halloween Horror Special Collection '17​-​'19

Ripped by UUN4 Visuals by KnightOfGames, "Teeth Gang"

Look, uh, feel free to skip the visuals on this one if you're sensitive. There's a lot of, teeth, in this one.

I really don't know how I was able to forget about ​THIS RIP WAS MADE BY TEETH GANG for so many years, when I specifically recall being there on the channel the day it went up. It might just've been due to Halloween 2018 being a rather understated and not very memorable event in general, mainly there to tease the next year's Halloween blowout of Spooktacular III - a by contrast amazing event that I covered briefly in Battle with Jeffinite. Yet the music to Gimmick! was on my mind for some unknown reason as of late, and one YouTube search later, I'd rejoined the Teeth Gang.

The SiIvaGunner channel is pretty inextricably tied to the Chiptune community, right down to where several members of the team almost exclusively make chiptune rips. As a result, the channel's rips have featured a good number of games that neither you or I may find particularly nostalgic or even good, but that are beloved by chiptune artists for their lovely sound - Viva La Robocop and Beautiful! ~ Curveball of Sean Kingston come to mind as two examples of this that I've covered on the blog. The NES game Gimmick! is somewhat of a special case, though, thanks to its develope Sunsoft. Despite not having all too many games under their belt that could be considered genuine classics, Sunsoft is still remembered by a lot of gaming enthusiasts specifically for how they made consoles like the NES/Famicom and Sega Genesis positively sing. Gimmick!, released late into the Famicom's life, is the perfect embodiment of that, celebrated in some ways as the de-facto game to showcase just what the NES is capable of doing (Follin soundtracks notwithstanding).

That's the backstory for why I was out looking for rips of the game, anyway - as for the reason why TEETH got involved to result in ​THIS RIP WAS MADE BY TEETH GANG, that's an area I was woefully undereducated on. It's likely that many of those reading this had the chance to grow up more closely attached to Nickelodeon's cartoon programming of the early 2000s, and by extension had some truly iconic bangers embedded into your minds. I'm again speaking as an outsider, but - good LORD, discovering that My Shiny Teeth And Me had over 20 million views on YouTube left me completely flabbergasted. Do you remember just two days ago in Guilty Eyes Creeper where I discussed just how many rabbitholes there are to fall into on SiIvaGunner? Yeah, this is a prime example of me doing just that, as recently as this week.

Because yeah - even though I first saw THIS RIP WAS MADE BY TEETH GANG, my lack of familiarity with the song made me not really care for the rip's audio (which was also because the visuals were, naturally, a lot more memorable for the wrong reasons). Five years later, I can officially confirm that My Shiny Teeth And Me is a fucking BANGER that I wish I'd given a chance sooner, partially carried by the vocalist being a member of 2000s boy band NSYNC, but also just the melody and progression being very catchy in general! And when arranged through the aforementioned beautiful Sunsoft-y sound of Gimmick, it's a perfect fit - the sugary pop cheer of My Shiny Teeth And Me fits the sound of Gimmick, and Happy Birthday in particular, like an absolute glove. The main melody, bassline, percussion - though its all playing within the limitations of the original Famicom track, it still manages to sound just as full of life as the song its arranging.

And look, I've been throwing shade toward the choice of giving the rip visuals, but I'll say it - I think even back then I found it pretty fucking funny. Learning in hindsight that "TEETH GANG" is actually just members of the SiIva team submitting their own teeth edits for the rip, ballooning the size of contributors to this otherwise simple rip, just makes things even funnier. THIS RIP WAS MADE BY TEETH GANG was indeed made by teeth gang, and through the simple combination of the three different rabbitholes its made up of that I chose to explore, its now become a rip I'll never be able to forget.

[spinningbuster98]

 Castlevania (NES) Part 1

Good Eeeeeeveniiiiiing...

Anyone who knows the story of this game raise your hand!

If you answer “It’s Simon Belmont VS Dracula” you only get half a cookie

If you answer “It’s a big homage to classic horror” you also only get half a cookie!

Yeah sure this game’s story is fundementally basic as was usual for games at the time and the early days of the series were indeed big on homaging classic Hammer Horror flicks

But I honestly find both descriptions to not do the game justice

Nowadays you often get people who say that “8-bit games have no story”, and while often these kinds of folks say this because they’ve never actually played said games other times these kinds of assertions actually come from long time fans, sometimes by people who even grew up with these kinds of games since they came out!

And I think the main reason, outside of the fact that these games often didn’t really have any on-screen narrative, is that manuals back then failed to properly convey tha game’s lore and story...or rather the overseas manuals

If you think that Classic Castlevania games have very little to no story and were little more than an excuse for the developers to cram in a bunch of old horror monsters then you’re only half right and you get to sit in the same corner as the same people who say that Classic Sonic games had no story

But I can’t fully blame people: the International manual for this game really tells you nothing about what’s going on here, mostly just making a bunch of horror-themed puns

Now the original Japanese Manual on the other hand... talk about night and day!

Not only is it way more stylized it also:

1) Gives you some general context as to how Dracula resurrected and how it’s a recurring event while also establishing that Dracula gets regularily resurrected by evil people who wish for destruction

2) Establishes Simon as the last heir to a family of vampire hunters who have been battling the count for a long time, even mentioning a certain Christopher: who is that? Apparently Simon’s ancestor who put Dracula in his grave last time. Did they have to mention this? No it wasn’t necessary but it helps sell the idea that this is a war that’s been going on for some time and that Simon has some big shoes to fill. Not to mention that we will see Christopher in a future travesty game

3) It even mentions how the Belmonts’ whip isn’t just any ordinary whip nor is it just some generic “Magic Whip”, it has “mysterious powers”. Hmmm intriguing...I wonder what its origins are...?

This is all stuff that future games will not only reference but also build upon: how many games feature Belmonts talking about how its their destiny to defeat Dracula? How many games will focus on the Whip’s otherworldly abilities? Dracula’s line from SOTN about how “he was called here by humans who wished to pay him tribute”? The one that’s been memed to Hell? That idea was already present all the way back to the very first game!

I’m not saying that the developers already had a clear vision of how the series would turn out as a whole, hell no! But evidently they did have A narrative vision, as limited in scope as it was given the limitations they were dealing with, so I think that boiling this down to simply “Haha 8 bit sprites on the screen!” or “It was just a love latter to old Hammer Movies, nothing more. Unlike those future games that added a needless story ugh!” (though future games will definitely have plenty of narrative hiccups make no mistake I have my share of issues) is pretty disrespectful

[maxwellander]

Making a Roguelike adventure (for Himbos!)

A few months ago a young man put up 38 transparent neon NES and super NES game cases on marketplace. I bought them, completely unsure of what I would do with them, but sure i had to have them. Obviously, my first thought was “limited print rpg something something”. I’ve also wanted to release something to support Himbos recently since it’s, like, a really good game and it deserves my love and attention. So maybe something video game inspired? Like a classic RPG style project? No, that’s been done a lot by people more attached to those old game than me. I knew I also didn’t want to just make a dungeon because I have a back burner project that is a big dungeon for Himbos that I’m hoping to get out by the end of the year. SO THEN WHAT.

I often have intrusive design thoughts while falling asleep. Things like “pvp face-off game” (vis-a-visage) or “time travel discord message editing game” (someday). A few weeks ago, the intrusive thought of the night was “Roguelike adventure generator”. Roguelike adventure generator? What do those words even mean. How does adding Roguelike to the classic idea of adventure generators change what it does? Well, it turns out im gonna try and figure it out. Or rather, I have been trying to figure it out.

For me, the thing about Roguelike video games, is the balance between the overarching narrative, buffs/powerups that make you feel like your progressing and random obstacles/environments/problems that occasionally repeat elements. The generation part is the easiest for me, breaking down the elements that an adventure needs to go brrrrr. For me this came down to Landmarks (fun environmentmental elements), Problems (adventure hooks), NPCs, Events/Complications, and then some Critters. What I didn’t want to do was just make a bunch of tables to roll on. I love a good table, but one of the things I love about randomly generated video games is the potential for a level to be strangely easy or just really overwhelming, so I wanted a way to change the amounts and rations of the elements being generated. I suppose i could have done something where you roll a d4 for each element to determine how many of them to include in a run, but that feels so uninspired and why not over complicate something when you can!

Enter custom tokens. Any tokens could do, really, but the idea of tossing a bunch of tokens onto a table to generate an adventure brings me joy! Originally, I thought this would just mean gleaning information from face up or down, each type of token representing one of the elements involved, giving a randomized number of NPCs or Problems and such. I then realized that there was another axis that could be accessed, that of rotation. The tokens could be read like tarot, as upright or inverted. Face up or down could also indicate a different state beyond simply present or not.

Ok, great, so level (adventure) generation sorted. But what about the overarching quest. How do you finish the whole thing?

I’ve recently started playing a game of Apocalypse Keys by Rae Nedjadi. It’s a great game, that takes the mystery mechanic from Brindlewood Bay, which I have priory been associated with through playing The Between. I love it. Everytime I encounter it I am reminded that, as a player, it is the single most fun I’ve had interacting with a mechanic in any game in recent memory. Each game does it a little differently, but the idea is simple - the players collect clues or hints, and when they feel like they have a good idea of what’s going on, they present their theory and then roll to determine how right they are. In Apocalypse Keys, the clues are extremely evocative vignettes that are all themed to the mystery at hand. But I’ve always wondered what happens if they were completely random. The wonderful thing about the mechanic is that the players will absolutely figure out a way to work each clue into their theory, they will justify that most seemingly random bit of information is ways previously unimaginable. So, it might actually work if random, or, for the application in this design, as more broad and less specific to the scene at hand. The clues have now become the reward for finishing the level at hand, and because giving your players a unique and special piece of equipment is always fun, i’ve linked them to Objects Of Power the entity causing the glitch has left behind. It’s important to remember that all this is for Himbos of Myth & Mettle so OoPs are things like a small box that emits exciting foley sounds when your character is in combat and the visions (clues) that you see when you grasp it for the first time range from images of rat kings to slightly more lewd moments between hidden figures.

The loop as it stands now - Generate level through tossing tokens and rolling on appropriate tables, characters hunt for Objects of Power, and the clues they hold to the larger mystery of the regenerating, repeat until characters feel confident they understand (again, Himbos, the theories will be wild), roll to see if right, and if so move on to a final confrontation with the entities they’ve designed, or they fail and must return to collect more clues till they come up with another idea.

I finally got around to printing some test tokens and attempting to generate a level. Behold, the first session of Bugbears of Unusual Size and Other Tales:

[notmuchtoconceal]

verily, verily, i say unto you -- so yeah. i don't need to do this part.

the only way the zelda downfall timeline makes sense to me is if you treat the production order as a chronology in its own right.

let me explain.

(so) the legend of zelda (the original, which is always best) takes place at the end of a later-to-be-revealed fallen timeline, yet even in the stated status quo of the original game, the kingdom of hyrule is in ruins.

ganon has seized the triforce, of which there are now only two.

zelda divides the second piece, pertaining to wisdom -- into eight pieces, which the hero link must find to prove himself worthy to ender the secret 9th dungeon, the sprawling underground skull rock which you enter through a recurrent formation in the shape of an eyeglass.

link, in the sequel, must then locate the hidden triforce of courage.

he does this --(in a mysterious northern isle actually the main body of the previously glimpsed southern aisle) through a dramatic shift where the poles of his awareness are flipped to a narrow and unnatural side-on perspective, necessitating steep grinds and a mastery over magic and the vertical axis, he renders inert an enchantment by placing six crystals in six statues to open the gate to a palace hidden on the most-distant near-proximity of the new continent ;-- where he must thenface-off against a vaguely deco-inspired monster of Native American myth before overcoming his own dark side and claiming his place as rightful inheritor and possessor of the final enchanted triune artefact.

(this is also the first (and only) time there seem to be two zeldas in existence at the same time ;-- the rescued maiden and the awakened beauty.)

so, yeah.

that's the classic NES duology and that's where it ends.

the north american title of the SNES prequel is particularly relevant, for though a significant upscale in terms of graphical fidelity and precision of control, the narrative posits itself as deliberately backwards looking ;-- this is an attempt by the now unified kingdom of hyrule to reckon with its history. in the intro cinematic to this story about a good king assassinated and usurped by a conniving enchanter, we hear of the imprisoning war, seemingly the source of all this cute lil redneck kingdom's seemingly endless woe. it tells of how the triforce was first bloodied by human hands, perverting the sacred realm and contaminating the magickal-psychic matrix of the land's consciousness.

After a detour where Link realizes that life is merrily, merrily but a dream and collects the Eight Instruments of the Sirens in what is not-at-all a deliberate mirroring of his future-forerunner's collecting of the 8 Shards of the Goddess's Wisdom, he cracks the world egg atop a mountain by playing live an extended lullaby for the Wind Fish who is more accurately a Land Whale, and slays the Nightmares who held him to slumber, incidentally liberating the only freedom-loving soul from its illusion --

After that brief detour, what seems to occur -- you being jaunty enough to continue to humor this, among my many other thought experiments -- is this hypothetical backwards looking perspective (related to Zelda's later archeological ambitions...? I haven't played either BotW, do allow your own knowledge to fill-in or contradict as necessary) which deigns to witness the Imprisoning War (I suppose they could be so direct as to ask the Triforce itself?) seems to split the timeline by observing it (Butterfly Effect, quantum fluctuations, the atomic weight of consciousness) in effect erasing the original from existence as it creates the two.

If this seems absurd, do be aware -- Ganondorf receives the Triforce of Power in Twilight Princess seconds before his death by execution at the Light Swords of the Sages. This is a deliberate deus-ex-machina which the narrators refer to as a "divine prank" and seems to rely on the player's familiarity with the events of the previous games (so much of what, in Twilight Princess's narrative seems to be nostalgia points simply reinforcing -- it's eerie familiarity. This land's status as the shadow of a former (or estrange contemporary's) glory.

That is -- the knowledge that Ocarina of Time ends with Link possessing foreknowledge, his meeting with Zelda in the post-credits will ensure that a change will occur.

The Triforce is a Divine Object belonging to the Sacred Realm and so Exists Above and Outside of Time.

If Ganondorf possesses the Power of the Gods in One Timeline, he possess them in All Timelines -- even one's where he's a loser convict on death row about to get iced by elderly nerds.

How do the two interact?

If Ganondorf does something in one timeline, does it effect what he does in all timelines? Do the two newly introduced split timelines somehow feed into one another? Perhaps Ganondorf's brief ascension in TP -- his feeding off of his symbiosis with Zant and the associated corruption of the Twilii people -- is enough to give Ganondorf in the Wind Waker timeline the strength he needs to break free of his bindings? This would, in effect, make TP as much a prequel to WW as sequel to MM!

Does this imply -- do indulge me this detour, let us see together to what fruitful avenues it may lead! -- that the more Hyrule's history is revealed, the more its awareness of itself seems to diverge and fragment into dead-ends, side-roads, alternate possibilities, predecessor upon predecessor, past upon past, coming to accrue as much as it clarifies -- bouncing like a ping-pong ball ball (by which i mean that more exquisite art -- the energy tennis match between hero and villain) as the chaos gives way to shape and the chaos to some deeper form?

Conclusions in one windswept corner in time, from bouncing back and forth from some fairy tale past about an enchanted cap and a world of little people and a blade which divides one into four ... and a land where your kingdom was drowned for good, your patriarch renouncing his entitlements, to bless you to open and terrible freedom to not repeat the mistakes of your ancestors, setting sail for a distant land you will make you own ... which you discover is spider-webbed with train-tracks which were already there. designed by a more mechanically advanced-prior civilization. train-tracks. across the entire-continent. already there.

not connected to some heartland city, no -- of course not. simply another variation on the tower of babel and wasteland motifs you've already glimpsed in that other other timeline's alternative alternate world.

i confess, on my first and only playthrough of Spirit Tracks (despite or perhaps precisely because of its inoffensive nature) i found myself so bored, i put it down halfway through and didn't pick it back up for six months, and when i did it was only because -- there would be a new game soon.

skyward sword was yet a glint on the horizon. there were no plans yet announced for a zelda on the wii which wasn't already on the cube.

i had a dream where i was in a sprawling floral-lattice work of a stream-shrouded 1920's train station and there was an inkling i needed to finish that last zelda there would be another one soon.

i needed to finish it, there would be another one soon.

i can't recall if there were skylights, yet i seem to suspect.

skyward sword, it is my regret to feel, though not openly repeat -- was so bad, i fear despite being intellectually open to another zelda, it left me feeling i had outgrown video games as a general hobby and this was a good place to stop. i feel it was giving me a dreadful warning.

all technology from this point on is simply training you to play fetch for the AI girlfriend who is submissive waifu masking claustrophobic smother-demon timesink. It was telling me get out all now. All further digital games will simply be coded nanny state propaganda.

i feel the entire series Zelda herself has been slowly transitioning from Mother-Sister to Sister-Wife and Now Link Has to Put His Dick In Her and It's Repulsive. I don't want it. I understand why infinite access to bitches and bling turned Ganondorf into an insipidly hunky blue swine beast.

I do not wish to wed the nanny state through a symbolic incestuous union with the machine. I can't imagine the level of loneliness and feelings of personal disempowerment would could ever possibly drive one to wish to own, let alone interact with an Alexa. I have no idea why anyone would consider this histrionic. I suspect most are half-aware, barely alive.

The first Demon to which I ever bore witness was the Microsoft Office Paperclip and I immediately knew it was evil; a withering force of infantilization which yearned to strip me of my savvy and I rightfully shunned it! I do not wish for my interfaces to have personalities or crack jokes! I want machines to be machines! A machine with a soul should be cathartic only for it reflects a solitary intellect's capacity to endure.

If you've ever seen The Film Simply Called Moon by David Bowieson, they did it right in that. That was a good AI companion. He was one step above Wilson from Cast Away. He was basically a totem comfort object with a short term data cash which functioned as semi-authentic short term memory. He was a simple machine, but it was real. That was honest.

Why would anyone ever love a son? It takes a saint to love a son. Autism is basically Son: The Personality cause They're All Like That. That's what it is to be a Boy, which is why it is so confusing when you are an Autistic Girl who is also Heterosexual! Being An Autistic Lesbian makes everything hilarious, oh my God. That level of natural detachment, if properly harnessed -- constant lazer vision. Carve microchips into people's faces. Rub your swampy crotches together to create fungal blooms live-erupting out of hot spring geysers scarring lily-white flesh!

A son is a little whelp you fuck emotionally until it's manly.

It's horrible. You have to actually love that to do it right. Look at yourself and see how hard it is to love you, apparently. It doesn't make any sense to me when you're repulsed by yourself. Why would you find either you or me repulsive? We're having fun maybe you should get that checked out.

[shadowredfeline]

Two in One Post

For the first Response to my Filipino Friend

Normally yeah now that you mentioned 7 Eleven, When i was in California during my vacation, i just realized they got a lot of 7 Elevens, and i know there is a couple of 7 Elevens in my state, AZ, But normally every time we stop at a minimart at a gas station, we usually go to Circle Ks and Quick Trips. But if i find any non cruddy ones, then i'm sure i'll find something good to get there at any store i can find. Especially when i look for some snacks. And with the sun yes, i always avoid starring at the sun a lot because it can easily burn my eyes and lose my visions. Because my brother and sister wear glasses and sometimes contact lenses, and keep using glasses if anytime some of them want to read. Even my mom since she uses glasses for her to read. And for me, i can see okay, i don't want anything bad to happen, and i sometimes wear sunglasses if something were bad to happen like if i don't want my eyes to get all gooey.

And second response to my Filipino Friend.

And with those Oreo Os cereals, i sometimes eat some since i do love eating Oreos whenever i crave a sweet tooth, but i have to make sure i go easy on the Sweets though. And that's why i don't usually eat cereal that much, not even when i saw a few Cereals over at the hotel during my vacation when i always like to eat Breakfast over at the Hotel.

Shadow R 😺🗡️ (wearing Spot's Pajamas): You Speedsters sure like to have something sweet together. Maybe we should all eat some sweet even if we finished ballet dancing together with my sister. But Lisa always makes cereals to our kids during breakfast times. Just depends if we're both cooking breakfast for them together and what they would like for breakfast.

Lisa 😺❤️⚡️ (wearing Riya's Pajamas): mmhmm. It sounds like now that you guys mention having Cookies and Cream, maybe we should all have another ice cream social if we like to have a chance.

Shadow R 😺🗡️ (wearing Spot's Pajamas): uh huh. There are so many sweets going on that can be addicting to all of us. And maybe we should play a video game together since that's what the Speedsters were wanting to talk about.

Lisa 😺❤️⚡️ (wearing Riya's Pajamas): Okay.

Shadow R 😺🗡️ (wearing Spot's Pajamas): It was nice you guys wanted to play the Famicom, which it's the Japanese NES system a lot of people play with.

Tory 😺🩰 (wearing Riya's Pajamas): mmhmm. And if you guys are mentioning about a number of games in one, my brother and i have got one at the fair one time and we both enjoyed using that Bootleg NES system we got at the fair.

Shadow R 😺🗡️ (wearing Spot's Pajama's): Totally! and we'll still play some NES titles that are on the Switch as well.

Lisa 😺❤️⚡️ (wearing Riya's Pajamas): True. Plus we'll also play other Classic systems on the Switch Online that we can play.

Tory 😺🩰 (wearing Riya's Pajamas): Indeed. I'm sure Spot, Riya, Miya and Aace would enjoy that too.

Shadow R 😺🗡️ (wearing Spot's Pajamas): Agree. And with Mario Kart, we can play wireless if we want to. It's only just the three of us against the Speedsters.

Tory 😺🩰 (wearing Riya's Pajamas): Well true. And Maxwell, May and Sam would join with us too into an 8 player wireless race. Despite that only 12 people can race together.

Shadow R 😺🗡️ (wearing Spot's Pajamas): Mmhmm. And for me not raging in Mario Kart, We'll still do it in the Simpsons hit and run style. And Spot would enjoy that game since it is like GTA.

Lisa 😺❤️⚡️ (wearing Riya's Pajamas): Yeah. I'm sure we'll enjoy GTA's vacation spot like Vice city before Summer ends.

Both: Yup.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

What are some of your favorite games of all time?

This is a great question, more questions about video games, less questions where people make up things I never said and demand I defend those positions, XD

Anyway, here's a short list:

Pathfinder: Kingmaker. The best isometric RPG ever made, in my opinion.

Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes. The best version of one of the best games ever made.

Mass Effect Trilogy. Yeah the third one shit the bed in a lot of ways, but I still enjoy the series as a whole. Playing a game series where your choices carried over from one game to the next was groundbreaking in the 2000s, and I always enjoyed my time with these games. Especially rereleased in the legendary edition.

Resident Evil 2, Original and Remake. My favorite Resident Evil game of all time. Great game, great story, great characters.

Resident Evil 4, original and remake. Second favorite Resident Evil game. Also, my husband's favorite game ever. I love seeing him get excited over it, XD

Suikoden 2. Great gameplay, great story, best game in the series.

Tales of Zesteria. Mikleo my beloved!

Jaws (NES). Yes, it's bad. Yes, it's short. No, I don't care. This was one of the first games I ever owned, and me and my dad used to play it together when I was very little. I have a lot of fond memories of trying to figure out how to beat the game with him. I still remember how excited we were when we started to figure out the gameplay loop for the very first time.

Mortal Kombat 2. The game that introduced me to the series, and still one of my old favorites. I still play and love MK to this day because of it.

Kingdom Hearts, whole series. I can't really pick one game, because they're all both really, really good and really, really bad, XD. But I love the story and the characters, and I've enjoyed each of them in different ways. But if I had to pick just one, I'd probably pick 2.

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. Still the best Star Wars game ever made. Still one of the best western RPGs ever made. The plot twist is still one of my favorite moments in video game history.

Max Payne 2. Ugh, so good. Great storytelling, fun gameplay. Took everything great about Max Payne 1 and did it better. RIP James McCaffrey.

MegaMan Battle Network, whole series. Probably the best reimagining of a classic IP I've ever seen, from the old days when "reimagined" didn't mean "vandalized". I was several years older than him when the first game came out, but in a lot of ways I grew up with Lan and his friends, and these games will always have a special place in my heart.

Jade Empire. Another great BioWare western RPG. Great setting, good story, unique characters, and really good and unique-for-the-time combat.

Soul Nomad and the World Eaters. I don't even know why I like this game so much, but I do, lol. They should have given the male PC a romance ending with Gig, though >_<

Pokemon Red and Blue. Pure nostalgia entry, but even though there are a lot of boring Gen 1 haters, to be a 10 year old kid when the original US Pokemon craze was at its peak was something special, and the games and the Pokemon will always be cherished in this house. Gen 1 supremacy, noobs!

Batman Arkham Asylum. You have no idea what it was like growing up a Batman fan and a video game fan in the years before Arkham Asylum. Every Batman game was terrible. It was a running joke how no one could do a good Batman game. Hell, half the word of mouth for AA was "did you hear someone's trying to make a good Batman game?" That they got many of the incredible voices from Batman the Animated Series back was even better. RIP Kevin Conroy and Arleen Sorkin. (And fuck Mark Hamill)

Legacy of Kain, whole series. Aside from Metal Gear Solid, this series is the definitive master class on video game storytelling and voice acting. I love the plot, I love the characters, I love everything. I hate how the ball was dropped so hard after Defiance, because that game set up an amazing follow up that just...never happened. It was such a sad fall from grace, because in the early 2000s this was the AAA game series. Everyone loved it. Everyone was desperate for the next game. And then it just kind of fizzled out after a few missteps and developer woes. And it died a quiet death in a proto-live service multiplayer game that no one wanted and even fewer people played. And while the tragedy is appropriate to the Gothic setting, I'm still hoping against hope for a faithful remake of the first games that spurs the original developers to finally finish the series the way it always deserved.

Honorable Mention: Final Fantasy 8. Gonna be honest here, 70% of my love for this game comes from fanfiction, lol. I played the game when I was a kid, and didn't really like it. It was weird and looked bad (I played it long after I'd gotten used to the "modern" graphics of the PS2 generation) and even with a Codebreaker and cheats the final boss was super frustrating. But there's some really great FF8 fanfic out there. Stuff I reread every few years. And it's given me a phantom nostalgia for the game.

[liliththeblackmage]

Goodnight 3DS eshop

the 3DS eshop shutdown yesterday, signalling the end of life for the system. so if you'd allow me, I'd like to talk a little bit about one of my favorite handhelds

I was bought an ambassador model 3DS for my birthday in 2011. an aqua blue model with one of the pretty admittedly meager selection of launch titles, Pilotwings Resort. I was ecstatic, I had been a proud passenger of the 3DS hype train ever since I read about its announcement in the Official Nintendo Magazine, pawing over every detail and rumor that was printed. I didn't have functional internet access at this point in my life so printed video game magazines like ONM and the then soon to rebrand Pokemon World magazine were my only portals into the world of video games, short of actually buying them in shops. Something that sticks in my head very vividly from the time between its release and me actually getting one was seeing an interactive display model in a duty free electronics store at an airport on one of my many unaccompanied flights to visit my dad. It was to my young brain, unlike any games system I had used before, baring more of a resemblance to the fancy new iPhones my parents were using than the DS lite I had with me at the time. Not to mention the 3D screen, a technology I had not experienced outside of cinema before (the first 3D film I saw was Avatar some years previous), the depth of field provided by this screen was genuinely amazing, and its use as a tool to aid gameplay in games like Super Mario 3D Land and the Legend of Zelda N64 remakes made it feel like a genuinely useful gimmick, even if it did often cause performance issues (due to the 3DS hardware requiring you to run two simultaneous GPU pipelines, rather than just rasterizing the scene twice like modern VR headsets work )

The 3DS was my introduction to a tonne of Nintendo's franchises, both old and new. It was how I beat my first Zelda game, in the surprisingly improved remake of Ocarina of Time. It was how I first played a Metroid game with the Ambassador Edition Virtual Console release of Metroid Fusion and it was how I first got to experience Fire Emblem in Fire Emblem Awakening.

In addition to this, it was my first real introduction to a system with internet connectivity and an online store. Sure the family Wii had the shopping channel, but the Wii was disconnected from the internet most of the time and I only used the shop once, after a well meaning but not tech literate family member bought a Wii points card for me, But the 3DS was mine, and I could browse the shop whenever i had Wi-Fi. The 3DS eshop had some really unique quirks even compared to later Nintendo storefronts, fun animations, trailers for upcoming games (which had to be downloaded as apps due to limitations in the eshop app itself) and a general atmosphere second only to that of the original Wii Shop channel. The Content on the eshop was incredibly varied too, originally it was a mix of smaller games similar to WiiWare (called 3DS Download Titles) and the downloadable DSiware that was featured on the short lived DSi system and its shop. but later it expanded to first include a portion of Nintendo's Classic games as emulated Virtual Console titles and later offering entire full "retail" games as downloads. Some of the most interesting 3DS download titles were the 3D Classics series, a collection of NES and Arcade titles re imagined to make use of the 3D display.

For all my love of this system, it wasn't all perfect. The first two years of the systems life was more Barren than the PS5's, and without the pandemic as an extenuating factor. My strongest memory of playing the system in its early years was playing DS games like Pokemon Black and New Super Mario Bros, while waiting for new 3DS games that are actually worth playing, something that was pretty rare. Several franchises had a pretty rough time on the 3DS, Pokemon for example had some pretty tortured releases with the buggy and kiddiefied Pokemon X and Y, and the stripped back and lazy feeling Mystery Dungeon: Gates To Infinity, a misstep that felt like it killed the series at the time. It genuinely felt like Game Freak couldn't really get a proper grasp on making 3D games, compared to the 2D/2.5D ones found on the DS and previous systems, something that has only become more clear with their switch releases being much the same way. One other Issue lots of people, myself included, had with the system during its lifespan was how Nintendo drip fed virtual console software over years, even when the same titles were already available on the Wii previously. An Attitude that Nintendo has continued with the Wii U virtual console and the new Nintendo Switch Online subscription service.

My time with my original 3DS was sadly cut short when, on my bus journey to college, a can of coke that was put in my bag without my knowledge exploded soaking everything in the bag in sticky acidic syrupy liquid, luckily for my sake the 3DS was the only thing killed, My Macbook with unbacked-up coursework and my hard drive with 3 unfinished mixing sessions both survived the incident only becoming faintly coke scented in the process. Several months later I was bought a "new 3DS" (Nintendo's naming scheme for the 3DS was Byzantine at best and Gilliamesque at worst). This new system was my introduction to Console Hacking and the homebrew scene, something I have been involved in as a user ever since and hopefully a hombrew developer as soon as I get the spare time to port something.

thank you for reading and letting me indulge my nostalgia for a system that I used from launch and will continue to use long after its official discontinuation

Some games I really enjoyed throughout its lifespan (in no particular order)

Pilotwings Resort

Mario Kart 7

Kid Icarus Uprising

The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D

Super Mario 3D Land

Pokemon Omega Ruby

Shin Megami Tensei 4

Bravely Default

[mageofseven]

hey love! was wondering if I could get a matchup for the boys. I started playing obey me during my breaks in between classes at college and I’m so hooked! I’m female, she/her, 20, bisexual as hell, INTJ, Leo, ravenclaw/slytherin, and a new media artist (still in college tho). I love game design, 3d modeling, interactive design, visual effects etc. I also love reading, gaming, binge watching, digital illustration, dancing, rollerblading, baking cookies, rearranging my room, and listening to video essays/podcasts/audiobooks. My favorite genres are detective, classics, fantasy, adventure, folklore, mythology and sci fi. I love listening to music in a multitude of languages as well whether Arabic, Italian, French, Hindi and much more. MASSIVE introvert except for with my best friends where my unhinged side comes out. Despite being an introvert I’m very comfortable with leadership. I’m very contemplative and thoughtful, with a variety of interests as well as creative. I’m far from clingy and prefer to keep my own space even if I know you well. I can be a bit stubborn, and opinionated at times however. I’m a huge planner and hate when things go off schedule or when things are chosen abruptly. As for how others see me I think I come off as somewhat cautious and not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends I do make. Think that’s all I got! Thank you!

Okay dang girly, you could have just came out and said you were Levi's girlfriend; it would have been a lot quicker hehe 😂

So yeah, very obviously

I pair you with...

Leviathan

Because holy shit, of course you are. You are literally his dream girl and there's no way around that.

Though it feels obvious to me, Imma break it all down to keep this matchup worth your time~

Let's start with the fun part--your MBTI 🥰

Okay so you are an INTJ, meaning your function stack is NiTeFiSe or NiTe more simply.

This means your primary function is Introverted iNtuition, the function that you use the most to guide you through everyday life. It helps you see life from a broad perspective and connect the dots to the most likely outcome. This helps you strategize the best way to handle life's issues and helps you focus on your goals for the future more so than any immediate wants. This one of the reasons INTJ are also known as the Strategists.

Your auxiliary function, the one that gives the most support to your primary function Ni, is called Extraverted Thinking. While the work of your Ni mainly takes place inside you, Te is the main function you use to interact with your external world. This function provides the external framework on how to achieve the goal your Ni has seen for you. Te is all about what works in reality, what is practical and doable so it really helps you think logically about how to achieve what you need.

Now, I freaking swore I made a post of each other Boys' (or very least, the Brothers') MBTI types, but for the life of me, I can't find that post. It might have been from before I made my Masterlist and it just sort slipped between the cracks, so to speak.

I cannot remember whether I decided that Levi was INTP or INFP, but in truth, it matters little with you because both of these types are generally seen as very compatible with INTJs (especially INFP and omg, as an INFP, I love it cuz you INTJs are amazing and I love you 😭💕)

But back to Levi! Either way, I think with his auxiliary function Extraverted iNtuition (Ne), this man has some trouble really making decisions for himself because Ne helps you see so many possibilities for things, which also leads to his anxiety issues, which is also fueled either by his dominant Introverted Feeling (if INFP) or his Inferior Extraverted Feeling (if INTP).

I think you would be a major comfort to this man. With your NiTe, you give others a sense of reliability. Even during moments where you might not feel so sure of yourself, you have the people around you sure that you'll figure things out.

Honestly, I think that's something Levi needs in a partner; someone he can lean on and trust. He'd follow your lead and feel safer with a decision you made than one he made on his own.

Now onto interests! Girl you're literally learning game design. Please teach him what you know 🙏 He will be so freaking grateful and honestly, this man dreams about the two of you making a game together and actually sees that as an intimate activity for you two (literally gives me vibes of this one post I saw that said Levi's ideal date involved you two putting your Minecraft beds together. It's that level of cute, silly innocence hehe). And of course, he'd love to play games with you too!

Also, reading? Podcasts? Scifi? Fantasy? Adventure? He loves all of these too, even more so now that he knows you share these interest too.

You are literally his perfect Henry. Your seemingly self-assured nature makes this anxious man feel like he can rely on you and be safe with you. Combine this with all of your shared interests and the fact that he feels he can learn so much from you? This man literally can't think of a single thing he did to deserve you, but loves you so dearly all the same~

You are his safe person and in return, he will give you every ounce of love that his heart can make 🥰

[it-brought-me-to-my-knees]

DIGICORE LOVE

[Tyler, The Creator voice] RANDOM DISCLAIMER:

Unlike some of my Twitter mutuals I have a very spotty knowledge of the past few years of SoundCloud rap, the history of the term “digicore”, and so on, so don't take any of this as gospel; this is just me shining a light, through the lens of my own personal experience, onto something that means a lot to me. And that "something" is daft post-trap indietronica for gay zoomers. What can I say - I'm a silly goose!

Hey, remember chillwave? Wait wait wait, please don’t close the tab my jaded millennial friends, I promise this post isn’t actually about that! Even this bit is more about the other stuff that was floating around at the same time: the weird experimental pop of the late ‘00s/early ‘10s that, like chillwave, often involved retro tech and a haunting sense of atmosphere but didn’t fully commit to summery vibes. Cloud rap pioneers like Clams Casino, conceptual chinstrokers like Oneohtrix Point Never a.k.a. Daniel Lopatin from Ford & Lopatin (a.k.a. Games)... and soulful white boys who settled in a previously undiscovered spot somewhere between Jodeci and Arthur Russell: How To Dress Well, Autre Ne Veut, and d’Eon.

I didn't listen to d’Eon much at the time, but in early 2022 I checked out his latest LP Rhododendron on a whim and, while the more experimental material wasn't really my cup of tea, I instantly fell in love with the title track - and then it started to drive me (very slightly) insane.

I loved it because it felt both like something from another world and like something I’d known all my life, like a song from a Dreamcast JRPG I’d never played... which drove me insane because I never even owned a fuckin' Dreamcast, and when I actually look back at the relevant music of that era it's never quite the same. I don’t mean to be dismissive of video game soundtracks, many of them are wonderful—this gorgeously wonky indie-tinged track from the Evergrace 2 soundtrack somehow predicted Gold Panda’s whole style, and this Main Attrakionz classic is built around a sample from Chrono Cross—but...

Thankfully I’m not trying to permanently solve the countless strange problems of nostalgia today - I’ll probably circle back to the topic a few times in future posts, and anyway I hear that many very serious academics are already hard at work sorting these things out. But stumbling around online for interviews about his inspirations, ready to grab d’Eon by the lapels and yell “WHO ARE YOUR GUYS?”, I found one where, just as his music perfectly resonated with my gay loser heart, he casually but thoroughly summed up the exact thoughts that my idiot brain had never managed to fully put into words.

In short: there are two hyperpops.

But you have that kind of music [Charli XCX], which is like pop with futuristic or kooky sound design, and then you also had SoundCloud rap that had gone in a similar direction but came from a totally different sort of lineage. You had some people who were like, post-Lil Peep who were making what got called rap music but they were really just singing. And the production got more and more sugary and more and more hi-fi and complex, and you had artists like my friend blackwinterwells who went on an unbelievable creative streak in 2020, putting out hundreds of songs with various people. Each one of them is this hugely complex, melodic, major key music all done with really modern synths and really hi-fi production techniques. It was rappers, but they’re really just like, singing emo. And so it was like emo, electronic Soundcloud rap, and that got lumped in with hyperpop, it got put on hyperpop playlists. So, there were two types of hyperpop in my opinion: there was pop music, and then there was basically rap music that was unrecognizable as rap music. And so this Soundcloud rap strain of hyperpop was what I was really into last summer.

“Sugary”, “emo”, “rap music that was unrecognisable as rap music” - yes! Yes! For the past few years I’d been drifting from the stately but puckish beauty of SOPHIE’s “BIPP” to the dirtbag buffet of the first 100 gecs album and then even further afield, to a really, really obnoxious song called “Kiss My Own Dick” that I just couldn't stop listening to. Sometimes I'd have to take a second or two to figure out whether something should go in my "hyperpop" playlist or my "emo-rap" playlist, which now seemed to contain a lot of songs that weren't exactly emo-rap - at least, not in the same way that Lil Peep or Wicca Phase Springs Eternal were.

Loose but convenient binaries were forming in my head: UK vs US, shininess vs scrappiness, impersonal vs personal, pop vs rap - and, most conveniently of all, “hyperpop” vs “digicore”.

There are so many exceptions to the rule here that these don't even really function as provisional guidelines - there is UK digicore (there’s a lad called Kurtains who lives in Carmarthenshire. WELSH digicore!) and US hyperpop, and “impersonal vs personal” is a near-impossible distinction at the best of times, let alone when the supposedly “personal” side will happily sing/rap about anything from blatantly fictional street-rap clichés to horse theft and the “impersonal” one includes songs as moving as SOPHIE’s “Immaterial”. And yet…

“Immaterial” is one of my favourite songs of all time, no question, but I’ve seen people point out that SOPHIE was always far more interested in art as a tool for formal expression rather than personal confession, and that several of her most beloved songs were heavily co-written by her excellent collaborator Cecile Believe. Even “It’s Okay To Cry”, a song very clearly inspired by the trans experience, is written at a slight remove, in the second-person.

To be clear, I don’t think it’s as simple as “SOPHIE didn’t care about lyrics”. Songs like “BIPP” and "JUST LIKE WE NEVER SAID GOODBYE" are so painstakingly word-perfect that they remind me of arch-formalists like her beloved Pet Shop Boys, or Stephin Merritt, or even the poet Thom Gunn, who once wrote about being far more moved by a Renaissance sculptor’s work-for-hire than by the melodramatic angst of his Creative Writing students, its generic execution of religious themes and marble perfection allowing it to serve as an empty vessel for his own thoughts and feelings. (Ngl, it is very striking that all of these people are gay.)

But sometimes I don't want marble perfection. Sometimes, it turns out, I want to hear "Kiss My Own Dick". Or maybe something that sounds like "Kiss My Own Dick", but isn't about snowball kisses. (Yeah he's not literally kissing his own dick. He's speaking figuratively. It's kind of like poetry in that way.)

I don’t want to cite the first wave of punk as the obvious precedent to any raw, widespread outburst of grassroots creativity like some NME hack, but I do feel the need to say that I’m not going to cite it, so Idk, maybe that cliché is kinda inescapable. There's something thrilling about young freaks in their bedrooms making music so deeply personal (not even necessarily in the sense of their lyrics being confessional so much as the specificity and intensity of their musical vision) but with such towering ambition, with their imaginations, Google-enabled curiosity and pirated music software opening up whole new worlds and allowing for magpie-like pilfering and a breadth of musical knowledge that simply wouldn’t have been possible a few decades ago, especially without an obscenely huge budget. (Shout-out to Randy Newman and Van Dyke Parks for shaking their record companies down for as much debut-album money as they possibly could then spending it all on extra cellists for shockingly uncommercial songs about, like, a guy in 19th century Oklahoma falling over. It's a miracle they're still in the music industry 50 years later and not in shallow graves.)

Maybe the giddy irreverence of the best digicore is like punk, but the fascination with sprawling soundscapes and heavy ~vibes~, especially in Jane Remover’s Frailty, imo the best album that's emerged from this… genre?... loose collection of online music scenes?... is more like... prog? But also like neither of these things, because it mostly sounds like emo... but with shoegaze’s warmth and weight, and an unusual emphasis on synths (no offence to emo Moog-havers like the Get Up Kids and Motion City Soundtrack). Oh, and there’s a bit that sounds exactly like a Nintendo 3DS soundtrack.

Where was I?

AN INCOMPLETE LIST OF HYPERPOP/DIGICORE INFLUENCES

emo (the genre as a whole has some interesting similarities with “fifth-wave emo”/”post-emo” but I am not getting into all of that today lmao)

‘10s trap (which was itself influenced by early Three 6 Mafia, who cannot possibly have imagined how influential they would become decades later)

house (Charli XCX directly sampling “Show Me Love” by Robin S on her middling 2022 album was gilding the lily, or, more accurately, making the lily a bit shit. It’s one of the greatest songs of all time, either pay indirect homage to it—“BIPP” did this very well, imo—or leave it alone!)

UK garage (the wild thing about this one: before PinkPantheress properly took off in the States I think the main influence was “Frail State of Mind” by the 1975 (sampled in saoirse dream's "upset", for instance)

’10s EDM (Porter Robinson looms especially large but Skrillex is up there too)

all sorts of dance music, really - Jersey club, Aphex Twin style acid house etc. etc. - but the one that stands out the most to me is “breakcore” (it’s drum and bass, but like… more)

“teen”/”disposable”/”novelty” chart hits

‘90s indie

cloud rap (I dismissed Yung Lean as a novelty at the time but now it’s 2023 and Bladee and Ecco2k are the ones still bearing the cloud rap torch. My apologies to Sweden, good luck with the Eurovision)

video game soundtracks (it’s nice that the “cringe” influence of chiptune is often embraced very casually, these kids love their dang Undertales)

nightcore (nightcore barely exists as a genre but the squeaky vocals and euphoric trance instrumentals of hyperpop/digicore have retroactively validated it as one. People aren’t just influenced by Cascada - they’re influenced by a low-quality YouTube upload of “Everytime We Touch” sped up by 33%. Probably accompanied by a picture of an anime girl.)

J-pop

third-wave ska (okay this one might just be 100 gecs - I really respect them continually leaning into this instead of just doing it as a one-off novelty)

And so on and so on - and then there's the countless possible combinations of these genres, not to mention the ever-present potential to warp them into something new, like the Can of Bliss song that's so manic that it almost reminds me of Chris Morris's song for ravers tripping on the fictional brain-slowing substance "Cake"... it would be impossible for one lone autist to do anything with this embarassment of riches, except perhaps to present a very biased and selective account of the stuff that she thinks is worth recommending to friends and strangers on the Internet...

[SOPHIE - BIPP voice]

SO.

COMING THIS SUMMER (maybe)

An infrequent series of posts about My Five Favourite Songs (As Of Right Now)

A quick glance at “proto-hyperpop” - is it real? is it good? is it the Buggles?

An apologia for my obsession with something called “Dariacore”

A rolling Spotify playlist for the songs I mention on here, if anyone's interested in that. I chose YouTube to optimal clickability but let me know if any of the links are broken :3 (<- that's how I type now. It's a kewl hyperpop thing, you wouldn't get it XD)