#love me a good 80s film I go in for the effects and out satisfied

[goryhorroor]

80s horror practical effects was that bitch. can’t outdo the doer

[alicia-18]

Friday the 13th, Part II Review

SPOILERS - YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

I want to preface this by saying although I consider myself a horror fan, I haven’t actually watched a lot of horror movies 😅 I have seen every Child’s Play (Chucky) movie, every Saw movie and every Scream movie, as well as a sprinkling of a few others. But I love watching YouTubers like Cody Leach rank and review movies constantly so I thought why not watch one of the most iconic movie franchises.

Before watching, I knew Pamela Voorhees is the killer in the first one and obviously about Jason. But I didn’t really know any of the back story or anything that particularly happens. I did want to watch the first one but I couldn’t actually find it on any streaming services so unfortunately, I had to go straight ahead to the second.

I was actually pleasantly surprised by this movie. I love the cheesiness of older horror movies but had heard quite a lot that this franchise as a whole is extremely overrated. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t think they reinvented the wheel with this movie but I appreciate it for what it is. I think a lot of the dialogue seemed pretty forced, though it wasn’t too jarring. I particularly felt annoyed towards Scott and Terry’s characters just because they did feel very put on and forced. But our final girl seemed quite compelling. I did yell at the telly a couple times, especially when she’d hide rather then just keep running. Like girl, you really think hiding in the bush and getting a balls hit was the way to go?

But I have to admit, her idea to put on Pamela’s sweater and speak to Jason was quite clever. I had an idea that something to do with her studying child’s psychology would come into play, though I didn’t guess that and this was left impressed by it.

I also was left more satisfied then I expected. I don’t watch horror movies to constantly be jump scared, it’s actually one of my least favourite parts about horror movies. But as all the kills were very telling of the time the movie was created, I wasn’t terrified the entire time watching it. I managed to have a good few chuckles at the film too by how fake looking it was, but that genuinely is something I adore about older movies. However, in the third act, they did genuinely get in a good few jumps! After this film jump scared me, I actually smiled to myself because I could see it coming most of the time but it was still done in an entertaining way.

I also really enjoyed the beginning scene. I loved the flashbacks to the first film because I obviously haven’t seen it so it helped out my understanding on who that girl was. I also love how he put his mums head in her fucking fridge! Like it genuinely shocked me to see such decent practical effects for an early 80s movie. It kind of reminded me to the effects used in the second Texas Chainsaw Massacre (I haven’t seen any of the others), which I really enjoyed watching.

It was also a great choice to not actually show Jason for a while because when he finally sat up in bed to murder that girl (can’t remember her name, but she wanted to fuck Mark), it was the first thing in the whole movie to genuinely make me jump! And once I saw him I had my adrenaline pumping as I knew this was when the movie was going to get to the third act, which everyone knows is full of the most entertaining scenes.

One annoying thing though, was the ending. It almost felt slightly rushed? I loved Jason jumping through the window and grabbing ahold of Ginny. It genuinely made me jump. I was watching Jason laying on the floor after taking the Machete hit and waiting for the infamous ‘final scare’ that Randy goes on about in Scream 1. I was anticipating it. But once Muffin came in a minute later, I had pretty much expected that to be the final scare, the fake out one. So having Jason then jump through the window and getting good shots of his disfigured face was super entertaining! But it went absolutely nowhere! I hope that future movies potentially elaborate on the ending. Like on the fate of Paul. I take it Jason isn’t dead because of the fact there’s a million more movies. But how the fuck did Ginny get out of that situation? I feel like it should have been 5 minutes longer, just to fully flesh out that ending.

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by this movie! It’s made me excited to continue the franchise after hearing a lot of shit talked about it. Of course, my views could be clouded as I love the cheesy old horror movies but haven’t had much exposure to them so it could just be itching a scratch I haven’t itched for a while. Id need to rewatch to cement in my rating for it but as of a first watch, I really enjoyed it! I’d like to see how they continue Jason’s story after this instalment.

And let me know if you’d like me to review anymore movies, especially horror ones! I don’t think many people, if any, will appreciate this though I might post my thoughts of all the Friday the 13th movies just because I don’t have anyone in my life who enjoys older horror and I like to have a place to put my thoughts on things I watch/read. This also could be a rubbish review because I have a habit of rambling, but let me know if you enjoyed! And if you have any thoughts, please share! Also, the gif at the beginning is obviously not mine 😅

[average-guy-reviews]

65 (2023)

"After a catastrophic crash on an unknown planet, pilot Mills quickly discovers he's actually stranded on Earth -- 65 million years ago. Now, with only one chance at a rescue, Mills and the only other survivor, Koa, must make their way across an unknown terrain riddled with dangerous prehistoric creatures."

A long time ago, in a galaxy not very far away, Adam Driver crashed a spaceship into prehistoric Earth. From the first trailer I wanted to see this film. It looked like an interesting take on a dinosaur movie, with some sci-fi flavour. I went into it with my expectations set at a clear level. I firmly believed I'd enjoy it, but wasn't expecting a cinematic masterpiece. I'm very happy to say that these expectations were solidly met.

The directors, Scott Beck and Bryan Woods, give us as close to a real look at a prehistoric Earth as it may be possible, while still giving us an action film with some heart. The sets for the ship, and the locations for filming were great and I felt immersed in the world, for the most part.

The cinematography was definitely top notch. The dinosaur effects looked really good, at times better than the recent Jurassic World film if I'm honest. Now, I will say this, far from being a Dino expert I have to admit to only recognising a couple of the species in the film. I suspect some free rein was given to the designers of the creatures when creating them. Still it didn't detract from the movie, and some.of the monsters were genuinely quite creepy.

For the vast majority of the film this was a two-hander. Adam Driver, as Commander Mills, and Ariana Greenblatt, as Koa, give us a standard pairing of hero and rescuee. With a language barrier they struggle to communicate with each other, but over time come to a level of understanding that let's them work together. It's a trope that has been used in sci-fi so many times and, while this wasn't done badly, two immediately better versions come to mind...Enemy Mine from the 80s and Star Trek TNG episode 'Darmok'.

Ariana Greenblatt is a young actress, with a fairly solid catalogue already, most notable as the young Gamora in Avengers: Infinity War. This was a solid run as a crash survivor on a dangerous planet, who can't talk properly to her rescuer. She was better in the short scenes with Thanos, but she was far from bad here. I think we are going to see a lot from her in the coming years.

Adam Driver.......I'm not his biggest fan, but I will freely admit to not having seen a lot of his movies. What I have seen so far is an actor that fits in the mold of a lot of actors. He is himself in movies, and what you see in the films is a variation of that self. I'm not disparaging him at all. Some of the most successful actors ever have been exactly the same. What it says to me is that if Adam Driver is in a film then I'll probably really enjoy it, and surely that's got to be a good thing.

Overall it's a solid film. I came out of it feeling thoroughly satisfied. I used my monthly subscription to Odeon to buy the ticket, but I wouldn't have objected to paying for it separately. It's a film that has a decent mix of danger, heart, dinos and sci-fi, and who couldn't love that combo. There are a couple of gross out moments, so be prepared. It gets a really solid 7.5/10, and a recommendation to give it a go if you like dinos and Adam Driver.

[thefloatingstone]

actually animation! i always thought that drawing one pose per page is more easier than using an animation programm but seeing some videos about the programms make me wonder.. how do they make it look so smooth?? and satisfying??

(and thank you! sometimes i like more to ask people than google cuz it sucks and people love to share!)

UUUUUUGH of course tumblr deletes my entire post when I try to add a gif. ANYWAY AS I WAS SAYING! It really depends on what's getting animated. Animating every single frame at 24 frames a second on 1s gives you complete control over every single drawing, but it's incredibly labour intensive. And even the highest grade 2D animated films I know of don't have every single scene be animated on 1s because it isn't practical and not every scene requires that much movement. the ONLY movie I know of completely animated on 1s is The Thief and the Cobbler and it was never finished. (although I highly recommend the Recobbled Cut of the film because it's fantastic) (and tumblr deletes my entire post if I add gifs so just bear with me)

Most TV animation these days (and even a few 2D feature films) will use a combination of hand drawn animation with traditionally drawn in betweens, but will use animation programs' built in "tween" system to have the computer create animation effects. This cuts down a LOT on animation, but animation programs can only tween cut-out drawings. So you have to draw the arms separately, the head separately, the legs separately etc etc and tween them all individually. You then have to go in and tweak the computer tween because, being a computer, it can be extremely unnatural and robotic looking or it could have interpreted the tween badly.

However this means that you can get shots done much faster simply because it takes less time to tween individual scenes than it does hand animation them, even if it does not give you as much control and is usually still unnatural looking and easy to spot when something is drawn versus if it's been tweened

I

(Wander over Yonder uses a mix of tweens and hand drawn frames)

and then lastly the new thing some people are experimenting with, is taking animated sequences at whatever frame rate, and running them through an AI upscaler or other AI program to artificially boost the frame rate to higher than what it was drawn at.

Good examples of this are to go onto youtube and check out people who have taken old anime intros from the 80s and 90s and upscaled them to HD and used an AI to extend them to 60 frames per second (which is what video games run at but is not pleasant for either animation which would be impractical OR film which is uncomfortable to watch and can induce headaches.)

It's an interesting experiment but it's actually really bad animation wise, both because of the uncomfortable watch it creates and the headaches, but also because these 60fps upscale AIs can severely fuck up the animation itself, just as HD upscale AIs can fuck up the art of a show (do I need to show the HD version of usagi's house again?? BECAUSE I WILL!!!)

(it's so ugly...)

But yeah, some people are experimenting using this as a toon to create smoother animation but it's generally not really a good idea if you like.... actually understand animation and you're not just some IT guy who things more frames = better animation somehow.

Actually here's a dude who made a video about it explaining it better than I could

[sparklegemstone]

Loki Ep3 Thoughts

I can write this right now because I watched ep3 on Wednesday morning. For the other episodes I've watched the first 5-10 minutes to slake my curiosity and then waited until I was 100% alert and engaged (read: not a work day) in order to fully appreciate the full episode. But I watched all of ep3 on Wednesday, and I did so because as I kept going there was never a point where I felt like I was missing anything by not being fully alert.

That is to say...I didn't think the episode was that good. Not bad, but mediocre, especially compared to the other two and the other Marvel series we've seen so far. The only point of this episode was "strand Loki and Sylvie and get them to be a bit more friendly to each other" and they could have accomplished this in much more interesting ways that would have felt more fulfilling as an episode. Maybe I'll feel differently after another watch, but these are my first watch impressions.

Loki singing was a gift. A+. Fantastic. The whole series would have been worth it just for that moment. I really enjoyed the callback of the mug smashing a la Thor. The 'passing time on the train' sequences were the only really worthwhile parts of the episode. I loved the idea behind Loki talking about Frigga teaching him magic and how she raised him, though I thought the presentation of the idea could have been even better for more resonance and emotional impact (also I was distracted by the corny looking fireworks effect, I'm trying not to blame the series for its budget if that fed into that particular effect, but at the same time WV and FATWS knew how to work within their budget without making it feel like they were budget limited). I'm still not a fan of the whispy insubstantial look for the battle magic design coming from his hands, but like most everyone else appreciate all the magic use this episode. Ooh! The 'love is a dagger' monologue -- another that I really like the idea of, I think it could have been more emotionally impactful with a different presentation.

Outside the train car, the whole episode was just "give me the time pad", "make me" over and over again. Lots of empty calories in this script. I don't find Sylvie that interesting from what we've seen so far (why can't we have Randy 😔). She felt like a pretty generic female 'chip on her shoulder, has to fend for herself runaway' character, and didn't live up to what the first two episodes were building her up to be. She felt kind of juvenile, which might have been what TPTB were going for, I don't know, maybe I'm being sexist with that impression? But definitely not as if she's someone who has been living in apocalypses experiencing nothing but death and destruction all around her for the past X amount of time. The character has to justify a badass slaughter set to an 80s rock jam, not the other way around. Also that shot where she tries to enchant Loki and he just stands there with his head down and lets her? I don't know if they were going for intimate in that scene but it just felt kind of clunky and awkward.

I'm curious to learn more about her because I still have so many questions. You'd think if TPTB wanted to design a Lady Loki character they would make her look more like Loki with black hair instead of blonde, which might suggest she's not actually a Loki variant? But maybe she's purposely made herself blonde to distance herself from Loki. But then why does she have Loki's costume and a variation of his horned helmet? She's strongly reacted to being called Loki twice now, so clearly she has some relation to or history with Lokis.

And the whole final sequence that was the dash to the escape ship -- again I'm not trying to criticize the show for its budget constraints or pandemic constraints but that whole sequence felt like they were running through a set and/or competing on some sort of space-themed Nickelodeon GUTS show making their way through a staged obstacle course. It was a combination of the set itself with the saturated neon colors, and the artificial feeling choreography of how Loki and Sylvie moved through it without the environment fully motivating said choreography (run to one point, crouch and wait for a few seconds, then run to the next point, run into a building just to run out), and the cinematography of how it was filmed. I was expecting the fallen tower that Loki magically caught to start rising to reset itself on the stage any second. I didn't feel the terror and urgency of so many people fighting for their very lives. I didn't really feel the urgency for Loki or Sylvie either.

I already wrote this in another post but I'll copy here because it's short. It felt like a poorly written Doctor Who episode: a Doctor Who episode where the story of the place and people the episode takes place in doesn’t matter and the audience isn't supposed to care about it other than to be a giant obstacle course for the main characters to navigate and for the setting to be "nifty".

If we had 22 episodes instead of 6, I think I'd be more forgiving of the episode and my expectations would be lower. Then again if we had a 22 episode season then each episode would have it's own complete story that is told and wrapped up by the end of the episode vs. this shorter chunk of an episode that isn't satisfying in and of itself and only works in the context of the episodes it comes between. So it's like the worst of both worlds, lol.

I realize that was a lot of negativity, but I hope this doesn't just come off as complaining. Like I said, I didn't dislike the episode and there were definitely high points, when it just comes to writing out my thoughts, in this case at least, I find myself having a lot more to say about the parts I was less impressed with vs. the things I really liked to which my reaction is more simply "yay", "thumbs-up", "I liked that".

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums: a fresh look at quite possibly the 80s’ most hated band, A Flock of Seagulls! Spoiler: their music is good, people in the 90s and 00s were just mean. If you want to find out more about how having the absolute best hair in the business ended up backfiring on these poor sods, look no further than my latest video. Or the transcript of it, which follows below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’m going to be diving into a discussion of quite possibly the most derided and lambasted music group of the 1980s: A Flock of Seagulls. With a strange name, a perhaps painfully stylish aesthetic, and equally trendy and of-the-moment music, that was, for a time, inescapable in popular culture, their legacy forms a perfect target for the ridicule all popular things must face in due time. But even moreso than that, I think A Flock of Seagulls have become not only a punchline in and of themselves, but also a summation of everything that was dreadful and excessive about the early 1980s, with its “Second British Invasion” of synthesiser-driven New Wave. I can think of no better example of this kind of abuse than a famous line from the 1999 comedy film, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. The film is largely a love letter to the 1960s and its Mod aesthetics, and the protagonist, a super-spy unfrozen from this era in time, dismisses the history and culture of the 1970s and 80s as nothing more than “a gas shortage, and A Flock of Seagulls.” But at the time of this writing, we’re about as far away from Austin Powers as the film was from the release of this album, the band’s 1982 debut LP, so I think it’s been long enough that we can start to re-evaluate A Flock of Seagulls’ rightful place in music history.

While this self-titled album was the group’s first long-player, their first release was the 1981 single “It’s Not Me Talking.” Notably, this track was actually produced by the legendary Bill Nelson, who also released it on their behalf via his personal label, Cocteau Records. Ever since discovering this for myself, I’ve found the connection between Nelson and A Flock of Seagulls fascinating, and also satisfying. Despite the gulf between their respective reputations, I do think their work has a lot in common, at the end of the day: swirling washes of synth disrupted by screaming guitars, not to mention that shared interest in Midcentury rock and roll aesthetics.

Music: “It’s Not Me Talking”

These two acts would, of course, go their separate ways shortly after, and they ended up in completely opposite camps, with Nelson becoming a cult favourite with little crossover success, and A Flock of Seagulls going on to create what is, undoubtedly, one of the most iconic songs of the entire decade.

Music: “I Ran”

What does one even say about a song like “I Ran”? Over the years, it’s certainly gotten somewhat overplayed, but I can’t really hold that against it. It’s just a damn good song. Both ethereally menacing as well as catchy and rather accessible, “I Ran” takes the atmosphere suggested by “It’s Not Me Talking” and kicks it into another gear, with a harder-hitting hook and the introduction of that highly distinctive and of-the-moment echoing guitar effect. Some will hear it as little more than evidence that the song is hopelessly dated, but I’ve never thought of it as anything other than satisfying to listen to. If you ask me, I figure all art that exists is essentially “a product of its time”--nobody ever said Michelangelo Buonarroti’s David was a lousy sculpture, just because you can easily tell it was made during the Italian Renaissance. At any rate, I’d encourage everyone reading to go back and listen to it again, trying to maintain a little neutrality. I’d recommend the album cut of it, which is significantly longer than the single version, and features a rich intro that sets the scene before that famous guitar ever makes an appearance, which I think really adds to the experience. By some reckonings, A Flock of Seagulls are sometimes considered a “one-hit wonder,” but while they certainly are remembered chiefly for “I Ran,” this album’s other singles were moderately successful as well.

Music: “Space Age Love Song”

“Space Age Love Song” is perhaps the band’s second best-remembered single, and takes their sound in a markedly different direction than that of “I Ran.” “I Ran” won popular acclaim by finding a new home for the guitar, in the midst of a sea of synth, and pushed A Flock of Seagulls into a similar space as acts like the Cars and Duran Duran, who had enough mainstream rock sensibilities to sneak a lot of synthesiser usage onto American rock radio...much as one might sneak spinach into tomato sauce when feeding picky children. But I think “Space Age Love Song” is much more palatable to listeners of pop, synth- or otherwise. It’s softer in texture, and really almost dreamy, capturing the hazy, buoyant feeling of limerence as well as any pop song ever has. I’m tempted to compare it to another synth-driven classic, whose influence towers over this period in electronic music: the great Giorgio Moroder’s “I Feel Love.” Much like “I Feel Love,” “Space Age Love Song” combines simple, almost banal love lyrics with an evocative electronic soundscape, painting a picture of an enchanting, high-tech future where human feelings like love have remained comfortably recognizable across centuries or millennia. A similar theme of futuristic love pervades the album’s second single, “Modern Love Is Automatic.”

Music: “Modern Love Is Automatic”

While “Space Age Love Song” uses simplistic lyricism to portray the relatable universality of falling in love, “Modern Love Is Automatic” gives us the album’s most complex narrative. In a world where “young love’s forbidden,” we meet a pair of star-crossed lovers prevented from being together by some sort of dystopian authority. The male member of this union, introduced as the “cosmic man,” is apparently imprisoned for the crime of loving, but the text suggests that he may escape from this prison--or, perhaps, even be freed from it. The title, repeated quite frequently throughout the track, is perhaps the mantra of this anti-love society, a piece of propaganda being drilled into us as thoroughly as it is into these subjects: Modern love is automatic, with no need for messy, unpredictable human input.

It’s also worth noting that the song is consciously set in “old Japan,” deliberately locating it in the “exotic” East. While East Asia was strongly associated with refined, perhaps futuristic culture, I can’t help but think there’s a more pejorative sentiment operating here, rooted in stereotypes of Asian cultures unduly policing sexual freedom, and other forms of personal expression and self-determination. Ultimately, despite its futuristic trappings, “Modern Love Is Automatic” isn’t really a song about technology at all, but rather authoritarianism. “Telecommunication,” on the other hand, engages more directly with that theme.

Music: “Telecommunication”

“Telecommunication” was also released prior to the self-titled album proper, and was also produced by Bill Nelson. While structurally similar to “Modern Love Is Automatic,” with an oft-repeated title, brief verses, and a generally repetitive musical structure full of meandering guitar, its text quite plainly discusses the titular field of technology, in a seemingly non-judgmental fashion--though it could be argued that the fairly upbeat music suggests a positive outlook on things like radio and TV. The one hitch in all of it is the very end of the last verse, which sets the song in the “nuclear age”--a nod, perhaps, to the darker applications of 20th Century technology. “Telecommunication” is perhaps indebted less to figures like Moroder, and moreso to Kraftwerk, who first solidified the rich tradition of stoic synth thumpers about everyday machines like cars, trains, and, of course, nuclear energy. I’m also tempted to compare it to an earlier work of Bill Nelson’s group Be-Bop Deluxe, “Electrical Language,” another bubbly number that playfully bats this concept back and forth.

The theme of “quotidian technology” is also present on the cover of this album, which features an interior shot of a living room, centered around a television set. The TV displays a figure playing guitar--perhaps one of those heroic rock pioneers of the Midcentury like Buddy Holly, whom Nelson was so keen to imitate. But what’s most immediately striking about this cover is its beautiful colour palette, full of deep, saturated jewel tones, treated softly with an “airbrush��� style effect. Despite being a somewhat mundane scene, the image also features fanciful, imaginative touches: the floor of this room is actually a miniature beach landscape, with the “floor” beneath the TV actually being the surface of the ocean, and the TV appears to be surrounded by a colourful, glowing group of birds. Given the beachy surroundings, we could perhaps interpret them as the titular seagulls. It’s tempting to think of this scene as a representation of how technology can sweep us away, out of our everyday existence and into something richer and more exciting.

But perhaps it’s not so simple--note also the open window in the top left, whose curtain appears to be agitated by some sort of motion in the air. Perhaps these birds are not the products of television fantasy, but rather have flown in from the window, and hence hail from the “real world?” Given how tracks like “Space Age Love Song” and “Modern Love Is Automatic” tackle the theme of the mundane meeting the fantastical, I think this complex and arresting image is a great fit for the album.

While their self-titled debut spawned multiple recognizable hits, A Flock of Seagulls never came anywhere close to recapturing its success. For the most part, they struggled to remain relevant as time wore on, largely abandoning the sonic footprint of their first album, and chasing after new trends in music technology such as digital synthesisers. They would eventually break up during the mid-1980s, and though they’ve reunited in order to perform live several times, the book is probably closed on A Flock of Seagulls. Personally, I can’t help but wonder what might have been if they had stuck to their musical roots a bit more. You get a bit of that on their third LP, 1984’s The Story of a Young Heart, which thankfully brings back that iconic echoing guitar, and does so without sounding too much like a simple retread of “I Ran.” Out of all their other work, it’s the album I would most recommend to admirers of this debut LP.

Music: “Remember David”

My favourite track on A Flock of Seagulls’ debut LP is “Messages”--not to be confused with the track of the same name by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark! Moreso than anything else on the album, “Messages” has this aggressive, insistent, driving quality, and feels less like yacht rock, and more like punk rock. Despite not being released as a single, I think it’s a very strong track that’s quite easy to get into. That’s everything for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Messages”

[thejuleselliot]

the Flaws of ‘Wonder Woman: 1984′

Fair warning: I’m gonna go longform on this one. If you want to read an essay dissecting the failures of this movie, read on. If not...

...

I wanted it to be great.

After suffering various delays over the years, I was as excited as anyone else to see it. Unfortunately, when I eventually did, I was disappointed.

The film’s many problems essentially boil down to only one: it can’t pick a side. Steve Trevor is Diana’s soulmate, or he isn’t. Barbara Minerva is Diana’s friend, or she isn’t. And, most glaringly, Maxwell Lord is either a good guy... or he just isn’t. The filmmakers themselves don’t seem to know, but they expect you, the audience, to. None of this is played out skillfully, or with a hint of nuance.

It could be argued that the majority of 1984′s problems lie with Lord. While almost every commercial or promotion for the film portrayed Wiig’s Cheetah as the film’s villain, it’s obvious upon first viewing that Pascal has spades more screen time. But the fact is, Lord is never given enough opportunity to become a menacing villain because the film never bothers to take the time to paint an accurate portrait. The first time he’s really introduced to the audience is through the eyes of Wiig’s Barbara Minerva. The meeting is awkward, even cringe-worthy. You’re meant to find him charming, yet you don’t. This is an absolute failing within the script.

When creating a villain, a screenwriter needs to make a choice: the monster you fear, or the monster you love. In the Dark Knight, Heath Ledger’s Joker inevitably fits into the former category. Through the film, he not only murders Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend, he is shown to be completely unhinged on several occasions. The audience never questions for a minute that he will do anything and everything to create havoc in Gotham City. So, here, we not only have a defined personality, we have a motive.

For the latter, let’s look to Tom Hiddleston’s Loki in the first Avengers film. Loki is the charmer. Intense, but beguiling. The characters - and, by extension, the audience - is drawn in. Therefore, when he does do evil, it catches you off-guard. When he shouts, you listen.

The character of Maxwell Lord never gives you that chance. He’s been compared to the 80′s personality of Donald Trump, which is a apt description. The one issue of this, however, is that Jenkins chooses to give Lord a different dimension - that of a caring father. She can’t seem to commit to one side of the character. Is he a monster, or isn’t he? By the finale, you’re expected to believe that by reversing his actions, he’s proven what side of morality he’s on. However, without defining the limits of that morality early on, the audience lacks a personal connection to the character. A better version of the script would have eliminated the son entirely and committed entirely to a Trumpian parody, or eliminated the Trump-ishness and depicted a struggling, good-hearted businessman who allows power to corrupt him and ultimately chooses the right side in the end. Without defining clearer character boundaries, the audience is never given a chance to care what he does next.

Cheetah belies another narrative issue entirely. While Lord is complicated to the point of confusion, the script can’t seem to discern a motive for self-styled superhero Barbara Minerva. Her own introduction shows her being stepped over (literally) by coworkers at Diana’s work, the Smithsonian museum. Her supervisor can’t remember her name. Sounds bad, right?

However. It’s worth noting that we quickly learn that Barbara has started there only one week earlier. Yes, it’s pretty rude to be ignored or forgotten by your coworkers. But it’s not as if she has known them for years and still been treated this way. I wouldn’t expect a coworker or superior to have my name locked-in on week one. Barbara has started a new job, and the film never bothers to tell us what her old job was or where she's been since college. (We also learn, most upsettingly, that she has a series of impressive degrees - something we are merely told, not shown. With the exception of one scene in which she researches for Diana, she’s completely terrible at her job, and Diana constantly steps in to do it for her.) We’re meant to believe that it was simply fate that brought her to Diana, and to the path she is set on.

Quickly, Barbara proves herself to be a kind, if vaguely frenetic soul. That alone is enough potential for a lovable, Luna Lovegood-type character. However, by consistently ensuring that she is the most obnoxious person in the room, it’s difficult to gain audience sympathy. Early on, she’s attacked by a man while walking home, before quickly being saved by Diana. This kindness is forgotten, once she has successfully made Diana the villain in her mind.

Strangely, the film never really tells us why she goes after Diana so viciously. Outside of a power struggle, one from which Diana has nothing to gain, they have no disagreements, with exception of Diana’s generic, disinterested distrust in Barbara’s quickly-discarded love interest, Maxwell Lord. The Lord/Minerva subplot never really goes anywhere, burning brightly in snippets of the film’s first thirty minutes and largely disappearing for the next two hours. Jenkins decides not to treat Barbara as a woman manipulated, instead making her in charge of her own actions.

There would be merit in this, if it didn’t remove any or all motivation from Minerva’s story. Later in, Barbara seethes and makes several inane statements about being ‘special’ like Diana (during a battle, no less) and the film clumsily tries to assign this as her character motivation. At the end of the film, Barbara is electrically shocked in a way that would kill most people. The last shot shows her sitting on what appears to be a cliff, looking out at almost-Wakandan sunset, boldly copying one of Black Panther’s iconic final shots.

Another issue with Barbara stands with the film’s issues with character perspective. In the first film, almost every scene, with the exception of those with the villains, takes place from Diana’s point of view. This doesn’t work as well when employed in WW84. For one, unlike the first, the film is unable to choose a perspective. The first major scene set in the 80′s takes place in the eyes of a group of thieves who are never seen or heard from again. (We assume Lord hired them... this is never clearly stated?)

By doing this, the film suffers. Sometimes it chooses to focus on Diana’s rich and grieving state, still deeply affected from the loss of Steve Trevor. And when it does, it expects you to care. However, by choosing to focus almost equally on the emotional state of Lord and Minerva, it takes valuable screen time away from the woman with her name in the title. And all that time spent sympathizing with the villains is left wasted when the viewer struggles to find a reason to love them, and the film never tells you why.

The character assassination of Steve Trevor is its own failing. By removing him from his time, he is removed completely from his own motivations. He exists only to be a kind of spiritual guardian to Diana. He had not been brought to life by the film’s MacGuffin, it would have made little difference to his overall effect. Steve and Diana get a few moments, but they’re clumsily written and badly paced. By the end, Steve and Diana do part, and you’re left wondering why the script bothered to bring him back in the first place.

Then, Diana herself. The film opens with a woefully, painfully dull Olympic-style obstacle course, showing a eight-year-old Diana attempt to win. While doing so, she cheats, which causes her to be held back by her aunt, Antiope (R.I.P.). You hope this disappointing sequence will lead to a satisfying conclusion later on, but the only thing I could garner is that they were attempting to make a clumsy comparison to Diana’s eventual choice to leave Steve Trevor behind. (A bit of a reach. I know...)

Diana never gets much of an opportunity to be herself in this film. She performs several rescues, the first of which involves a long, intense eye-contact filled scene with a little girl.

(Who, in case you were wondering, does not come back or prove to be important later. A more discerning screenwriter would’ve had this child be Maxwell’s son, but... I digress.)

(There’s another grievance, there, and I’m going to take the opportunity to air it: this overstuffed, yet completely airheaded film takes time to tell us the backstory of a great Amazonian warrior. Do we ever meet this warrior? No.

No, we don’t - unless you count a post-credits scene where she is portrayed by Lynda Carter, who for some reason, could not be bothered to help Diana out when all of this mayhem was afoot. The part of this that annoys me most of all is that the entire backstory is created simply for the sake of justifying Diana’s new, golden eagle-wing armor, which could have otherwise been explained with four little words: ‘I took up metalworking.’”)

In conclusion...

agh.

[technoturian]

So after dipping my toe in the Pedro Pascal stan side of tumblr I decided to give his Netflix movies a try. Yesterday was Prospect which I *loved* and today was Triple Frontier which was... possibly the worst movie I’ve seen in the last couple of years.

Spoilers under the tag but honestly... Just don’t watch this movie. If you’re a fan of one of the cute men in it then just search the internet for gifs, I promise you you will get more out of that than you will out of this movie. Ranting below, you’ve been warned.

I have to commend the Pedro fans for their fanon version of his character in this film, as they pretty much were forced to invent him from whole cloth because basically none of that is in the text. And that’s because he doesn’t have a character. None of them have characters! None of them have arcs! The plot doesn’t even have an arc! The movie ended in the biggest shrug I’ve ever seen. They didn’t fail, they didn’t succeed, it was just kind of... well that happened.

Every time I thought, “Okay, I see where this narrative is going...” It just... didn’t. It didn’t go anywhere. The main thrust of the movie was done 30 minutes in and then the rest of the movie was them walking around killing people. Now, it could have been about that, about that they were killing civilians and growing increasingly more cruel and emotionless in their actions, but that was not reflected in the resolution. Nothing that happened in the movie was concluded in a way that made sense. It just was a collection of bad things that happened that then stopped eventually. What about the characters and their families who at the start of the film were stated would be hunted to the ends of the earth by ALL THE CARTELS!! (and other unspecified Bad Criminal People) and at the end just kind of shrug off the fact that they have no money to disappear with? Are Santiago’s fake passports supposed to fix that? Or maybe they deserve that because of the ~horrible things they did~ but then why such a light-hearted, optimistic-ish ending note where they all cheerfully say goodbye? What is the message here?

It was like two producers came together, one said he wanted to make an indie film that was a blunt drama on the horrors of war and dehumanization of the American soldier and a scathing, unflinching indictment of the military industrial complex, and the other one said he wanted to make a shoot-em-up heist movie with big budget actors and lots of explosive action and they were like...

...and mushed them together without any attempt to make a cohesive and narratively satisfying story. It fails at both of these aspects by committing to neither. I saw only the briefest hints of any kind of thematic thread that was so incompetently conveyed that it might as well have never existed. I can’t understand how this movie has such high approval from critics??? What did you like here, was it all of the monologues about how war takes and takes and doesn’t pay well enough? Because if you like that, there was a lot of that. It doesn’t actually go anywhere but it’s there and gee, it’s a thinker, huh, war is bad actually. Groundbreaking.

And this is not an indictment on the actors at all (except for Ben Affl*ck, he can choke). They were honestly working so hard, I could see that, and it made me angrier than if they’d phoned it in. I honestly cannot imagine how they got all of these big actors in this movie and gave them absolutely nothing to work with!

Every one of these characters save Santiago had the same ~arc~, “I don’t like what being a soldier did to me except I’m super loyal so I’m just going to do this one last job oh crap everything is terrible better turn on my murder training...” Which is like... Yeah that happens when you join the military, it’s awful, sure. “War is hell” and all that. But just pointing that out doesn’t make these successful, rounded characters or make this a good movie. I again applaud fans that found any value in these characters, it honestly feels like a case of “I like this actor so much that he deserves a lot better than this, let me invent an alternate reality where he actually had substance”. I can’t feel bad for them too much because I guess, I hope they had fun filming it on location and made a lot of that Netflix money?

As an exercise I tried to think of a single line in this movie that, if shifted from one character to another, would have changed... anything. If it would’ve effected their character at all. If it would’ve felt like it didn’t fit, like, “well HE wouldn’t say THAT”. I couldn’t think of one. They were all completely interchangeable. They all switch from being guilty about killing people to not really caring to straight up going murder-happy depending on the scene, excusing their actions and condemning them. ~Oho, but don’t you see, that’s the duality of the soldier, the hero and the villain~ shut up, it’s bad narrative if you can’t even figure out what a character’s motivations and baseline personality are.

Literally the only person I saw any slight arc from was Santiago, who basically got all of his plot threads neatly tied up by the halfway point and then was just a shell of regret like the other characters. From then on the only person with any sort of arc potential was Tom, because he was the first to get greedy and he was the one to shoot first and I thought “Okay cool, so he’s going to turn on them or something as the money dwindles because he’s going to put his family first and they’re really going to show how far they’ve fallen” and nope he’s dead, of course he’s dead, that’s the end of the only character that seemed like he MIGHT be going anywhere (not that I cared because Ben Affl*ck can choke). Even the romance arc didn’t go anywhere! It literally stops halfway through the movie just like everything else???? This movie feels like they lost the second half of the script days before filming and they were like, “Um, and, um, lots of... climbing the Andes, and, um, this Andes thing is going to be very long and so that’ll pad it out and, um??? War is bad, look what they make you do, look what they make you give etcetera etcetera? Then, uh, action driving scene, uh, yeah. There we go, finished.”

I honestly just can’t believe I sat through a movie with Ben Affl*ck, Charlie Hunn*m’s absolute travesty of an American accent, and 70s-80s dad rock music just because two hot Star Wars boys were in it. Maybe the real message of the movie is the hot boys we looked at along the way.

* And because it didn’t fit anywhere else, just a shoutout to this particular part: William’s character introduction being a recruitment speech that starts with “My PTSD is so bad I have violent blackouts” and somehow with a scene cut manages to circle back around to “So anyway kids stay in the Army it’s the best and you’re all patriots” is the most heinous thing that completely undermines A, his place as the moral center/voice of reason of the film and B, any anti-military message the movie might be vaguely attempting. I just keep remembering that compilation video of young, desperately sad military recruits saying “f*ck you” and “you lied” to their recruiter and thinking, “This guy has given this speech HUNDREDS of times??”

[rubyvroom]

HalloweenFest 2020 begins! 

***spoilers abound***

Bloodsucking Bastards - we got about 10 minutes into this and noped out because I hated every single character. Dysfunctional office full of bros is a creative location for a horror film, but too close to my actual life to be entertaining. Sorry Pedro Pascal, I could not hang on long enough for you to show up. 

Apollo 18 - very faithfully follows the found footage formula, just on the moon. Still, the idea of the alien creatures was pretty fun, and the footage was done rather well.

Phantasm - movies in this era are very hit and miss for me. Surprisingly, I loved this. Don’t get me wrong, it was definitely budgeted with the 75 cents someone dug out of their couch and it doesn’t do things like “have continuity” or “make sense” except for the way all the sequels worked very hard to make it so, but I’m planning to stop at just this one so it can exist as this weird nightmare artifact in my brain. No lore needed. Just flying surgical balls and short zombies and cool images and dream logic. 

Scarecrows - I did not enjoy this whatsoever, which makes Mr. X sad. I can’t even say why I loved Ready or Not and hated this, when they are at least equally gruesome. Something about tone and cruelty and having at least one human being worth rooting for. The setup and the scarecrow idea were inventive though?

I'm Thinking About Ending Things - this was for Mr. X the equivalent of how Scarecrows was for me. He liked it, but the parts that were meant to be painful were really, really making him suffer. Whereas I was like : this is AWFUL i LOVE it the whole time. Toni Collette is as usual the MVP. It is a very frustrating movie. It will live in my head rent-free for weeks.

Cabin In The Woods - Ive finally seen it. The internet ruined all the good jokes. And my tolerance for stock Whedon characters is a LOT lower than it once was. But the concept is still good and its very entertainingly executed. Not scary, but some good thoughts about sacrifice and horror (I mean, the ancient ones are us, right?)

The Haunting of Bly Manor - This was 0% scary but very enjoyable anyway as a gothic romance in the very traditional sense that the characters are all terrible or ghosts or terrible ghosts or else in love with ghosts or in love with people possessed by terrible ghosts and basically everyone is cockblocked to eternity but they are very pretty doing it. They dropped a couple story threads at the end in a way that made me insane and Mike Flanagan has yet to really stick a landing but overall great October vibes. Made me want to stare out over a moor in a white nightgown, grade A.

The Wailing - This was a very good, very scary Korean movie. I feel like I am missing some major cultural context to really understand it. There is something fascinatingly unsettling about the rhythm of Korean movies which is clearly not remotely based on the structure of American movies, and in a horror film that’s tremendously effective for a western viewer even if it’s harder to make sense of the plot. Also the actress who played the little girl was fantastically unnerving.

Mandy - We watched the first 10 minutes of Mandy before concluding this deserves better than the shitty download we were watching. It was too small on our screen and too dark, and the visuals on this demand to be watched properly. I’m ordering this DVD and we’ll watch it soon. 

Seoul Station -- Animated prequel to Train to Busan (which we enjoyed very much). It’s very well animated and the action is terrific. Probably the best pure-horror animated film I’ve seen yet. Creepy and tense. Has some very pointed social commentary. The ending left a bad taste (I didn’t think the bed scene was necessary, it was gratuitous) but overall very good.  

Near Dark -- 80′s movie about vampires that came out the same year as Lost Boys and was largely overshadowed despite being much better. Less fun, but better. It swings wildly between “being a vampire is no fun -- oh no wait it totally is!!! -- oh no wait it’s very much not” in the bloodiest way possible. Bill Paxton at his Bill Paxtonest, Lance Hendrick being the coolest, Adrian Pasdar being very very young and everybody looking great in a cowboy vampire nightmare that I can’t believe I never watched until now. 

Hush - This one was a little frustrating because I’m not real into home invasion movies and it was a little inconsistent in the main character’s awareness as a deaf woman but I’ll admit, I really hated that smug red-pill-looking killer and it was satisfying as hell to see him get his in the end. 

MANDY - We probably didn’t need another woman in a refrigerator movie, but if we were going to throw out all of the other “man goes on a crazy rampage to avenge his girlfriend” movies and keep just one of them, we should keep this one. It was pretty rad. (Which is to say it is my favorite of the 2020 batch of Halloween movies, damn if I could tell you why though)

[spork-guitar]

Lucky Lady Chapter 15

@sapphicsovereign​ @gingerdaile​ @catsssmeow​

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

Original prompt by @gale-of-the-nomads​

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14.

Hi. I think you can probably guess what this is - an apology, another excuse for not posting in weeks. With everything that’s happening in the world and in my personal life, I just had to take some time off for my own mental health. I won’t bore you with the details, but I haven’t written a word since early June. Some days I couldn’t get out of bed for hours, some days I considered giving up writing for good. I'm going to continue, but if I had any semblance of a posting schedule before, I definitely don’t anymore. I’m sorry for the few of you that still read this. I know it’s frustrating to be invested in a story and have it go unfinished for a long time, believe me. But as of now, I still plan to finish this fic. It may take a while, but I’d like to believe things are looking up for me. My apologies, again. Thank you for being patient.

That being said, this chapter is (hopefully) less depressing than that. This is an example of a chapter that was never part of the plan but happened anyway, which is about 80% of my content in any given story. Oh, and I threw in an OC... and gave him a backstory... and it’s about twice as long as any other chapter so far... and I swear none of that was supposed to happen, but... enjoy?

 Adrien adjusted his tie for the nth time, only to have his hand swatted away by the meticulous designer who had spent months working on a unique suit just for him. It was silly, really, because no matter how much hard work and effort the man put into the ensemble, it just looked and felt like every other suit he’d worn before. The only difference he could see was the price tag. Sure, he knew from a fashion standpoint what the benefits were of certain pocket styles and fabric choices, but other than that, it was just a suit. 

He had heard about brides-to-be suddenly “feeling like a bride” when they tried on the right dress, but he supposed they were already excited about the prospect of getting married, having found the person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. Adrien couldn’t relate. At this point, he knew he was wearing his wedding suit. It was what he would wear the day he married Lila. He would smile and tell her how beautiful she looked, because there would be cameras filming his every move. He would be the perfect husband, the perfect son, the perfect model, etc., etc. Every second he spent with her in public for the rest of his life would be perfectly scripted and planned out to make them look like the perfect couple, but something about that made him dread getting married even more.

Adrien frowned at his reflection in the mirror. His hair was combed, suit clean, tie straight, shoes shined, and he felt less like himself than he had in ages. He knew the person looking back at him in the glass, but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t right.

He rolled his shoulders and tugged at the collar of his dress shirt, effectively loosening his tie and earning him an exasperated sigh from the man in front of him.

“Ay, M. Agreste, please. If you don’t stand still, we’ll never finish in time, and I have another customer coming in half an hour!” A thick Italian accent made his French harder to understand, but Adrien got the message.

“Sorry, M. Bertinelli,” he half-mumbled.

The stout man raked his fingers through his thin gray hair. “Alphonso. We’ve been through this. M. Bertinelli was my father, God rest his soul.”

“Wasn’t his name also Alphonso?”

“Si, si. But to me, he was papà. At work, he was M. Bertinelli. The only person who ever called him Alphonso was mia madre, Lucia. The angels took her too soon.” He bowed his head, eyes downcast.

Adrien tugged at the collar of his suit uncomfortably… again. “I, uh… I know a little about that.”

Alphonso regarded him with a kind smile, picking a piece of lint off his lapel. “You would, wouldn’t you? How long has it been? Ten years?”

He scratched his neck, looking away from the man’s persistent gaze. “Yeah, almost.”

Someone just beyond the fitting room knocked softly on the door, and it creaked open hesitantly after a second. “Are you decent?”

Ladybug. Adrien smiled. “Yeah, come on in.” She stepped into the room and waved shyly at M. Bertinelli. Her gaze turned to him, eyes widened and cheeks flush. She looked him up and down, as if trying to memorize every little detail of his pricey ensemble. By the time her eyes met his again, he was sure his face was every bit as red as hers.

Suddenly, as if remembering why she came into the room in the first place, Ladybug stared intensely at her tablet and cleared her throat. “Uh, I don’t want to bother you, monsieur. I’ll only be a minute. You have a fencing lesson with M. D'argencourt at his private court in...” She paused, scrolling through the day’s schedule. “...thirty minutes, so we should be leaving within the hour.”

Adrien was pretty sure her openly gaping at him for multiple seconds had effectively cleared his mind of any coherent thought other than a long string of exclamation points, but M. Bertinelli had him covered. “Not to worry, bella. I’ll have him out of here in plenty of time.” With a hand on her shoulder, he led her back out the door. “I’ll call you when we’re finished.” Once she was out of earshot, he chuckled, waggling a suit brush at him. “You like her,” he said matter-of-factly.

“What?”

“Oh, don’t pretend with me, ragazzo. I can see it a mile away. The way you smiled when she walked in the room, how you blushed when she looked at you.” He lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned in. “You’re not exactly subtle, ragazzo, and neither is she.” Adrien felt his face heat again as Alphonso laughed merrily. “Besides, I’ve been in love before.”

Adrien shrugged off his suit jacket and loosened his tie, draping them carefully over the back of a chair. “How do you know it’s love? I haven’t known her very long. It could just be… I don’t know, something else? Love is a strong word to use.”

Alphonso shook his head insistently, setting the brush on the vanity counter. “It’s just like it was with my late wife, Rosa Maria. When I met her, she was with my old friend Claudio, who treated her poorly. A shame, really. Rosa was the sweetest woman I ever knew, and Claudio? Well, he was something else. I thought I’d live my whole life in love with a woman I’d never have, but love is a funny thing, ragazzo. I had just about given up when she up and left him one day. Came knocking at my door, telling me she loved me all along. Of course, Claudio didn’t like that very much, but it worked out for me and my Rosa. It will work out for you, too.”

“You think so?”

“Of course! You don’t live to be fifty-seven without learning a few things about life. Now, get out of that suit before you wrinkle it.”

“Don’t you have to alter it?”

“It fits you like a glove, ragazzo. I knew it would.” He took the discarded jacket from the chair and put it on a mannequin across the room. “You know, that might be a good analogy. The right girl will fit like a good suit - comfortable, nice-looking, and affordable as long as you’ve got a rich padre.”

“What should I do about Ladybug?”

Alphonso shrugged. “Whatever needs to be done. Don’t worry yourself too much, anyway. Things have a way of working themselves out, and you’re a pretty smart kid. But if you want some advice from a man who’s been put through the ringer a few times, I think you should tell her how you feel before it’s too late.”

Adrien frowned. “It might already be too late. My wedding is in eighteen days, and everything’s ready. I can’t back out now.”

“Well, if you go through with it, that’s fine. Your wife better be over the moon. She’s got herself the handsomest boy in Paris.” 

“Thanks, Alphonso.”

He patted Adrien on the cheek and ruffled his hair with a fond smile. “Ah, get outta here. But if you never need a listening ear, I’ve got two of ‘em, and I can always pretend your suit doesn’t fit quite right so you can come back. I sure wouldn’t mind the company.”

Adrien laughed politely, not sure if he meant it, but secretly wishing he did. Alphonso treated him like family, like the son he never had, and he acted more like a father than Gabriel ever had. “You know what? I’ll let you know.”

“See you around, Adrien.”

…

Ladybug stood up as he walked back into the waiting room, clasping her hands behind her back. “All done?”

He rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. “Yep. Let’s get out of here.” She snickered, quickly clapping a hand over her mouth to sober herself. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just… your hair is a mess. It must have happened when you changed back, because it looked fine when I was in there earlier.”

Adrien ran a hand through his hair and swooped it to the side. “Better?”

“Mostly. There’s a little part…” She pointed to the left side of her head, and he patted down the right side, mirroring her. “No, the other side.” He followed her instructions, but to no avail. She clicked her tongue, reaching out. “May I?”

He kept his voice steady (he hoped) and his expression neutral. “Of course.” With gentle fingers, she quickly found the problematic tuft of hair and combed her fingers through it a few times to tame it down. When she was done, she brushed a few strands out of his face, nails gently scraping his forehead and over to his ear. 

Satisfied, she smiled, completely oblivious to his inner turmoil, and patted him on the head like a dog. Maybe a cat. “All good! Let’s go.”

Well, that was just plain unfair. The way she could touch him like it was nothing, like the world around them didn’t just cease to exist when she smiled at him. Truthfully, Adrien was touch starved, and he knew it. It had been years since the last time he willingly hugged someone, so he was automatically hyper aware of every time Ladybug casually touched him. Every electric brush of their fingertips when she handed him his schedule, every playful smack when he made a bad joke, every time she got close enough that he could feel her breath teasing his skin like a light summer breeze.

He futilely tried to console himself with the thought that she would still be his bodyguard after the wedding, but if anything, that made it worse. He would spend years, perhaps the rest of his life knowing she was off limits. Right there, a few houses, a room, a meter away, but he couldn’t have her. 

But how, he wondered, do you simply coexist with someone who doesn’t know how every tiny little thing she does turns his whole world upside down? He knew he was unlucky, but even for the Powers That Be, that seemed a little excessive.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: C.H.U.D. & Us

Do you like horror? Do you feel for the plight of homeless people? Do you despise Ronald Reagan and everything he represents? Well congratulations! You have a functioning heart and mind! But you also might be in to the B-movie cult classic that is C.H.U.D. This is a film that has at least partially wormed its way into the cultural consciousness as the titular monsters have become something of a go-to descriptor for any sort of sewer-dweller as well as an insult used to describe alt-righters and other nasty bastards (it works too since alt-right people do often look like they crawled out of a sewer). Unless you’re a cult film aficionado though, you may not have actually sat down and watched this film, which is a shame, as it definitely has quite a bit to offer.

But you know who almost certainly HAS watched this film? Beloved filmmaker, comedian, and actor Jordan Peele! And I know this because his second feature film Us is pretty much a semi-remake of C.H.U.D. No, I’m not joking. I would never fuck around about something as serious as trashy B-movies and Jordan Peele films. This is serious business right here. These movies are pretty similar thematically and even slightly plot-wise, but at the same time their different approaches really help set them apart and make each film great in their own right.

The big thing with C.H.U.D. is its function as a criticism towards the Reagan-era treatment of the homeless and the mentally ill. Homeless people are portrayed very sympathetically, with them going missing being what really kicks things off… or it would be, if anyone in power gave a damn. No, the people in power only start caring when people they start caring about go missing. Things go from bad to worse when it’s revealed that the C.H.U.D.s are not only mutated homeless people, but that the United States government is complicit in their transformation, having decided to dump toxic waste into the sewers. Aside from giving Jason Takes Manhattan’s ending some level of plausibility, this is a pretty brutal showcase of how society treats the less fortunate, and especially how the government treats them. As far as B-movies go, this one has the most instantly believable problem causing the monsters.

And it is similar with Us. The film has a much broader application than Peele’s previous film Get Out, which is pretty blatantly about left-wing condescending racism. But the way the Tethered function, their nature as failed experiments left behind by the government to rot, and their desire to simply be given all that they had been denied because the powers that be deemed them less worthy is not just stellar thematically, it is the sort of message that in this day and age is needed more than ever. Reagan is long dead and burning in Hell, but the evil he perpetuated still stands.

The big reveal at the end – which I WILL refrain from spoiling – changes the entire perspective of the film and showcases the Tethered as not just victims, but people who if given half a chance could easily excel in the upper world. But they were denied this chance, shunned as mindless monsters, and then are we to vilify them when they rise up to take what they deserve? Both of these films certainly show their “monsters” as vicious and violent, but ultimately they are merely scared, terrified beings lashing out at those who have oppressed and hurt them, intentionally or otherwise.

Both films certainly do show the oppressed commit monstrous actions, but it never really stops sympathizing with them, instead (rightfully) demonizing the government and the people who constantly put them in those positions of oppression. C.H.U.D. certainly is more cathartic, featuring the major government antagonist being not only shot but blown up, but it also tends to feel a tad more exploitative, what with literal homeless people being mutated, though I must stress the movie doesn’t demonize the homeless and paints them as sympathetic victims of a cruel, unfeeling government who just decides to kill ‘em all to cover up their own fuckup. This is one of the single most realistic depictions of government ever put on film, and for that C.H.U.D. deserves some praise. Us certainly paints a more sympathetic picture for its “monsters,” beginning with the story Red tells her captive audience, and while the reveal of their true nature is a bit more sloppily executed than the reveal of C.H.U.D. it still manages to bear down with the full weight of its allegorical impact with late-game revelations.

Another interesting thing with C.H.U.D.: the monsters don’t even appear all that much. When they do, they look absolutely fantastic; the suits are stunning achievements of practical effects, though the scene where one stretches its neck out is a bit dubious. But for the most part, even at the film’s climax, the C.H.U.D.s are mostly absent, with a “less is more” approach being used in regards to them. I don’t recall there ever really being more than four or so onscreen at once, and there’s no massive invasion of monsters. Honestly, it helps keep the film from feeling like a bloated spectacle, and the fact the film slowly builds up to the monsters appearing after a brief appearance in the start really helps them feel more memorable and iconic than other forgotten throwaway monsters of the 80s, while at the same time letting the mystery, atmosphere, and grimy New York backdrop congeal and allowing the message of the film to just ooze over and permeate you.

Us, on the other hand, keeps the Tethered front and center starting at the second act, but in this case this is a good thing; the Tethered have a lot more personality, seeing as they are essentially fully human, where the C.H.U.D.s are mutated humans whose last vestiges of humanity were washed away by the waste the government hid beneath the streets. Lupita Nyong’o in particular is masterful as Red, and is incredibly skilled to be able to pull off playing two roles who frequently share the screen and who are essentially copies of each other while still managing to make them distinct and different. Tim Heidecker and Winston Duke too really do a grand job as their Tethered counterparts, in Heidecker’s case probably more than his regular person character (not to say he’s bad, but seeing Heidecker selling a creepy killer is a lot more impressive than seeing him play a douchebag husband).

Out of the two, I think it goes without saying that Us is the better film. It has all around better acting, it has the most incredible foreshadowing I have ever seen with every little thing foreshadowed getting a satisfying payoff, it has a great soundtrack, it has some moderately enjoyable humor, it’s paced very well… but here’s the thing: C.H.U.D.s big reveal of the true nature of its monsters is a bit better executed. A lot of people get hung up on how Us overexplains the origin of its monsters, and while it certainly doesn’t bother me because the Tethered are still an effective allegorical implement regardless of their in-universe origin, I can’t help but feel the reveal that the government mutating homeless people into cannibalistic sewer monsters and then just… not giving a shit about it was just a bit better executed. However, I feel like watching C.H.U.D. actually helps improve the big reveal at Us by token of being so similar that the latter’s twist becomes far easier to swallow.

Both of these movies are great for what they’re going for. Jordan Peele’s Us is a fantastic horror film that uses the genre as a way to showcase the effect privilege has on those without it, whether you intend it to or not; C.H.U.D. is a classic B-movie that, while perhaps still a bit exploitative, is ultimately incredibly sympathetic to the plight of the homeless as well as extremely critical of the government that would put them in such danger. Both films are fantastic in their own right, and I highly recommend both to any horror fans, especially those who love some sweet, sweet allegory alongside their brutal murders.

Both of these films are some of my favorites for really pushing the boundaries of what a horror film can do, story-wise. I think C.H.U.D. is a bit more ambitious in some ways, being a pretty direct attack on the Reagan-era government, as well as being relatively sympathetic to lower class people in a time when that wasn’t really the norm. For its time, it really is an impressive work, while Us, while certainly delivering a message that has strong impact, is a bit more open to interpretation and honestly lacking a bit of the gut punch that Peele’s Get Out had in terms of conveying and delivering said message. Still, I think Us is just better for refining what C.H.U.D. was trying to do and delivering it in a more polished form with better actors, a better budget, and just overall more intelligence and visual flair… which is not to say C.H.U.D. was lacking either, as it paints an incredibly dark and grimy picture of New York that I absolutely love, it’s just that it’s hard to deny that Peele is just a better filmmaker than the director of C.H.U.D. and really knew what he was doing. But again: both fantastic films in their own right, and both definitely worth watching.

[kpoptimeout]

Top 10 Most Underrated K-pop Songs of 2019 (Artist Edition)

2019 has come and gone before we knew it.  

Continuing with the K-Pop Timeout Tradition (see 2018 Ver) of listing the Top 10 Most Underrated K-Pop Songs because all the other sites are just bothered with the Top 10 that pretty much everyone will have heard of/have fan wars over, below are our top 10 picks of songs that did not rank high (and with MVs just around or below 1 million views too) but deserves your attention! 

This is the list for artists’ tracks, so the Top 10 underrated non-idol tracks. Click here for the Top 10 underrated idol tracks of 2019. Unlike usual years where there is a separate post made for Top 10 underrated K-Drama OSTs, this year there is instead posts for the Top 20 most underrated K-Pop songs of the decade.

Some of the non-idol artists have escaped the list in recent years to stardom (for example DPR LIVE, CRUSH and MAD CLOWN) so hopefully, it happens again!

This is in alphabetic order NOT in the order of awesomeness because all of them are awesome. Also, all MVs are linked in the song titles because Tumblr won’t let me share that many videos in one post.

ADOY “Lemon”

It is strange that this song somehow did not make ADOY more well-known in South Korea and among K-Pop fans. They have such a laid-back and fresh sound perfect for CFs and fan edits but somehow this indie electronic rock band still only has 9609 likes on Facebook and their song “LEMON”, has less than 200K views at the point of writing this. “LEMON” is a refreshing and soothing indie rock track with an 80s synth melody loop. It is basically if ice lemon tea was a song and it was a great song. If you like chill 80s-inspired music, you would love ADOY’s “Lemon”!

Colde “Control Me”

One half of RnB duo offonoff and a member of DEAN, Crush and Punchnello and more’s artist collective Club Eskimo, Colde provides an amazing solo song in the form of “Control Me”. The song is a smooth RnB track that hits all the right spots - the somewhat conversational like singing building up to the chorus, and the chorus itself which is extremely catchy. Colde’s rapping is also just as fire as his singing. The MV only just surpassed 1 million views but it really deserves so much more since it complements the song so well, with everything filmed like it was done in one shot as different versions of Colde appear to serenade you on the screen. If you are already a fan of DEAN and Crush, you should also check out this amazing song by their friend Colde!

Crispy Chae “A letter from Wendy” ft. Gato Ray

With how popular lofi study playlists are, it is surprising how little love Crispy Chae’s “A letter from Wendy” received because it would fit perfectly in such a playlist. Maybe it is because this song does not even have a proper MV besides the video made by Mellowbeat Seeker. However, this does not stop this song from being an extremely underrated quality indie track. Crispy Chae has a beautiful voice that is both husky and child-like at the same time, making the transitions between skilled harmonies and the conversational chorus all the more memorable. Additionally, this song was sung predominantly in English and should really be making more rounds in the increasingly global K-Pop fanbase. If you love Suran’s music, you would really enjoy this song by Crispy Chae!

dosii “lovememore.”

City pop is definitely making its comeback in 2019, with Takeuchi Mariya’s “Plastic Love” finally getting its much deserved MV, western city pop acts like PREP gaining more popularity and veteran K-pop stars like Sunmi and Yubin trying out this sound. dosii, an R&B duo comprised of Choi Jonghyuk and Jeon Jihye, also dives into city pop in “lovememore.”, which is definitely one of the best and most underrated indie K-pop tracks of the year. The song sounded both like an authentic 80s city pop jam but also includes distortion effects and producing techniques used more often in current music. Honestly, it is an absolute masterpiece and the less than 800K views the MV has received since February is ridiculous.  If you loved Sunmi’s “Black Pearl”, you would fall in love with “lovememore.”!

ELO, PENOMECO “LOVE?” ft. GRAY

While this song did only come out in early November, I am still confused why such a great hip-hop collaboration has less than 500K views. Like all GRAY involved works, this is classy and catchy. What makes this song stand out from a lot of great K-Hip Hop collaborations is the way ELO, PENOMECO and GRAY’s voices work together. They have three very distinctive vocal colours - ELO has an extremely melodic voice, PENOMECO has a breathy and high-pitched way of singing and rapping while GRAY’s tone is deep and relaxed. This makes for a very colourful and fun song. If you like a strong K-Hip Hop collaboration, “LOVE?” by ELO, PENOMECO and GRAY is the song for you!

Jung Jinwoo “Nowhere”

Ever since K-Pop Star Season 5, Jung Jinwoo has proven to be a phenomenal RnB singer-songwriter and have continued to improve after his signing to Planetarium Records. It is shocking that he and the other PLT boys are still relatively unknown, even though they have only dropped bops. His newest song “Nowhere” is arguably one of the best Korean RnB tracks of 2019 and showcases his further honed production and singing skills - his voice is super light, clear and smooth with a mild tinge of huskiness. Just 71K views for such a superb song makes no sense. If you are a fan of DEAN and Crush, you would be obsessed with this song!

LEEBADA “ㅎㅇ (High)” ft. PENOMECO

This is another K-RnB masterpiece that seemed to have completely flew under the radar to K-Pop fans. Playing on the Korean internet abbreviation for Hi (ㅎㅇ) and High, this song has classy drinks lounge music vibes but is also playful at the same time, fully showcasing LEEBADA’s high-pitched and airy vocals. PENOMECO’s addition in the song is perfect, as his voice and LEEBADA’s work together so well, like the male and female counterparts of the same singing style. If you are a huge fan of HEIZE’s music, you would really enjoy LEEBADA’s “ㅎㅇ (High)”! 

LIM KIM “YELLOW”

Back in 2015, every K-Pop fan knew Lim Kim for her quirky electro-pop sound as she dominated charts and was Mystic Entertainment’s it girl. However, her return after 4 years received little to no attention for unknown reasons. Not only is Lim Kim back but she returned stronger than ever, taking on a much more aggressive and edgy persona while singing and rapping about female empowerment and fighting against the objectification of Asian women. “YELLOW” combines traditional East Asian orchestral instrumentals with electronic beats and Lim Kim’s unique mixture of chanting, singing and rapping, creating a powerful anthem in the process. If you are a fan of Lim Kim from before or is a fan of artsy and experimental music in general with a strong message, you would love Lim Kim’s “YELLOW”!

PRIMARY “Bad High” ft. Jade

PRIMARY is definitely one of the best producers in K-Pop, with ground-breaking and beautiful collaborations with Zion.T, Hyukoh, Beenzino etc., oftentimes before the acts are even known in the mainstream. PRIMARY continues this in “Bad High”, working with Jade, the main vocalist of virtual girl band XGirls. This song is phenomenal not only because it sounds good, but also because it goes in directions you never expect it to go. Starting off, the song sounds like the emotional and slow-paced folk-pop/rock works of Lucid Fall and Hyukoh, then it switches up to a satisfying drop in the chorus, where the aggressive use of hi-hat loops changes the slow-paced song to an exciting ethereal art-pop sound of the likes of Grimes. The MV is also beautiful and unsettling simultaneously. Why this masterpiece has only 97K views at the time of writing this is beyond me when PRIMARY has so clearly outdone himself yet again. If you enjoy PRIMARY’s past works and also experimental art-pop, you would love “Bad High”!

RAD MUSEUM “Dancing In The Rain” ft. Jusén

After Hyukoh and Jannabi’s rise to the mainstream, one would expect more attention to be given to indie artists with unique vocals. However, RAD MUSEUM seemed to have flown under the radar even though the vocalist is all sorts of unique with his piercing and emotional vocals which seems to combine soul, alternative RnB, and indie rock all in one. Maybe it is the lack of an MV and big label promotions but this live performance video would show you the charms of this phenomenal artist who is also a part of Club Eskimo and his amazing song “Dancing In The Rain”. This song is simply art - it feels pop-rock like Sting’s “Shape of My Heart” but the way it is delivered also feels like soul and RnB. If you want to be blown away by talent, you should check out RAD MUSEUM’s “Dancing In The Rain”!

Which non-idol songs do you think were underrated this year? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below and let the song sharing begin!!!

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 3

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 61: Writing this in the afternoon on day 62. An exercise driven day. Two walks and stair climb as usual plus I popped round Jeff’s early evening. First time I’ve been to his house, 1 Garden Row, Elmington. It’s further than I thought so, with walking there an back, I managed a daily total of 14km. It was good to see him and have a social (but social-distanced) beer. When I got home, @9:45pm, I made thai green chicken curry, watch The Report (a great, if worrying film) and then TikTok-ed until gone 5am!

Day 62: Typing this on day 64! Beer round Karen’s. Missed Sam’s quiz.

Day 63: Typing this on day 64! Beer round Karen’s. Again! Well, it is bank holiday Monday! Had dirty pizza for tea and watched The Heat. Again! It is the most piss funny film.

Day 64: Well, I have been feeling guilty about treatung the bank holiday w/e l;ike a bank holiday w/e. It’s dawned on me that that guilt is way too self-disiciplned. I got up about midday, usual two walks and stair climb but that’s it. I need to clean the house from top to bottom, get on top of my online courses, get the garden done, get the car fixed, go shopping…fucking hell - if only I had the time…

Day 65: Today I swapped Amazon prime free trial for about the 5th time in my life. Same card and address - will they get wind of my skullduggery. This is all so I can finish watching Hunters and catch Homecoming S2. I went shopping at Asda near Raunds. I wish I hadn’t, it’s no good for a comprehensive shop. Received an email from RCI inviting me to a Zoom meeting with Pal Mulcahy for a business update. I fear the worst. And it’s at 10:00am, FFS!

Day 66: Logged in an attended zoom forum with Paul Mulcahy and over 250 RCI staff this morning. The message was that there is going to be redundancies. I expected this and expected to fall victim. All staff that are going to be put through cionsultation would be contacted today. I however wasn’t! Very, very surpised. meanwhile, Nick Reilly asked to connect via LinkedIn (including become a LinkedIn staff team member -  that’s new to me so I’ll see what it is but I accepted the invitation) Later, I WhatsApp-ed him and asked who has been affected from IT. All he could tell me was no one on Jon Rodger’s team is under threat. Also, Mark C emailed - I’ll respond tomorrow. I got up at 09:00ish and had my mornming walk before the 10:00am meeting. I am now, at 09:30pm, fucking knackered. Dinner and then bed, methinks but not before one more episdoe of Hunters!

Day 67: Typing on Day 68. Got pretty drunk last night. I’ve got blisters from walking (new boots) so I don’t think I’ll walk tomorrow (well, today!).

Day 68: I did fuck all today. Got up after 1pm, no walking. I did manage to clean the bathroom (and smash my little mirror) and do my 26 stair climb. I am typing at 9pm and I feel whacked!

Day 69: I have an abscess. It’s not too painful (today) but I am going to call the dentist tomorrow (Monday). I think antibiotics are in order. I watched a film, which I actually started yesterday, called The Voices starring Ryan Reynolds, Gemma Arteton and Anna Kendrick. Fuuuuuuuuuuuucking weird. The closing credits are the most bizarre, in context, I’ve ever seen. But, in general, a very good film. Back to normal exercise regime today plus hovered the hall and stairs. Get me. It’ll be interetingh to see my Google Fit figures for May tomorrow.

Day 70: Contacted the dentist who advised salt water rinsing and ibuprofen. But, tbf, it’s a lot better today and the swelling has gone right down. The dentist I called was the Oundle House (Rodericks) one. I was not hopeful since last time I saw them they referred me to their Northampton clinic for root canal work which was quoted at over £600. However, the dentist was very nice, had my x-ray to hand from that last visit and seemed more interested in making sure I’m OK than gaining a paying customer. He still wants to see me when possible though! I must mention the weather. It has been glorious weather nearly every day throughout May (it’s June 1st today). Seriously sunny and like a holiday every day. The news mentioned it today - the level of sunshine throughout the transition from spring to summer is unprecedented, apparently. My T shirt tan is, quite frankly, ridiculous!

Day 71: Today’s ‘must mention’ is what’s going on in the US and it’s not particularly related to Trump. There was a black man killed while under arrest. George Floyd died Monday 25th May (8 days ago) A policeman, who knelt on his neck for minutes while he complained of not being able to breathe, has been charged with murder. Now there are riots and curfews and military intervention all over the country. It’s similar to the English riots of 2011. It’s worrying, sad, scary and not what the fight against the pandemic needs. Most of all, it’s racism rearing its ugly head yet again. I’ve had a normal-ish day. received an email from Jim checking in, talked to a recruiter about a promising job lead (although the hours are 8-5 which I am not happy about), talked to Barry across the road and sent Barzzy a WhatsApp. And I logged in Shaw Academy and started lesson one of module 2 of web Design. It’s been a while, so long overdue, but I only did about 15 minutes. Must try harder / do better! As I type, late (10:10pm) I have dinner cooking and a strange pain in my left side and am in the middle of No Country for Old Men. Don’t think I’ve seen it since the cinema (13 years!)

Day 72: As soon as (well, within a couple of days) I mention the weather, it turns. It’s rained a little and is a lot cooler (15° rather than mid-20s). Much better for walking, I have to say. I finished Hunters today (Amazon Prime series). While I enjoyed it, it got too surreal at the end. It is loosely based on the real story of Nazi hunters in the US in 1977 but the straying from loosely based to down-right ridiculous fiction annoyed me. If it goes to S2, I will watch it, however. Received some of my rental deposit back today (the law changed so that only 5 weeks rent can be demanded as deposit). Over £600. Nice.

Day 73: I made a short video for Marc and Clare’s 26th wedding anniversary. I ‘dressed up’ for it. I enjoyed doing it and I think it was appreciated.

Day 74: Typing on Day 75 for no other reason than I couldn’t be bothered on day 74! I received a letter either today or the day before (well, yesterday or the previous day!) from Mr Minos at the eye clinic informing me that, while there is some stuff going on in both eyes (garnered from the photo scans done at the last hospital appointment), he wants to see me in three months. Always a refief when that happens. Been getting into two series on Amazon: Alex Rider and Modern Love. One is a male Hanna, the other is soppy affairs of the heart based on real life stories (from essays written in the NY Times). Both enjoyable for totally different reasons.

Day 75: Lazyish day. Well, not really, just that I only went for one walk, alebit 6km andI got pissed on. Wehn the rain hit, it was also fucking freezing! Some of the clouds were stunning today, made for great photos. As I type, it’s 21:12, I’m listening the wonderful Phoebe Bridgiers. Now, I’m gonna make some tea and sup a few ales, I reckon.

Day 76: Done lots of walking today (over 13,000 steps) I made sausage casserole with too much chilli (scotch bonnet and birdeye). I had an online (fb) debate with Sam over whether the George Floyd murder was a racial.

Day 77: Received a new (used) wing mirror for the car. £18 with delivery, I reckon that’s a bargain. I cashed in £20 from Prolific as well, so I’m satisfied at the financial full-circle. Dropped the car off at Barnwell (Nene Valley Body Shop) and walked back - 7km. Just about to dive into tea - finishing the blazing hot sausage casserole from yesterday. Then I’m going to do some more Rubik’s cube practice with my recently acquired GoCube.

Day 78: Lots of daily walking, 26 stair climb, press-up and late nights watching TikTok (gone 3am this morning) are making for a constantly knackered Tim Stubbs. Today I made veg soup and cooked up some meatballs. Both are delish. How did I ever to learn how to conjure up such stuff? The Rubik’s cube learning is coming along except that I need good daylight to distinguish between the yellow and white faces on the flipping thing!

Day 79: Listening to Radio 6 most the day and the news is making for dire listening. Forecast of severe recession, especially if there is a second peak of the virus, which I think there will be. Plus, an offshoot of the George Floyd murder and the #BlackLivesMatter movement, institutions and town councils are being lobbied by campaigners to remove statues of anyone associated with things like slavery (one was toppled in Bristol at the w/e) and rename buildings etc. that were named after historical characters with any links to something that now is deemed wrong or offensive. I agree with it but it’s not pleasant to hear amongst other bleak news. Walked to Barnwell to collect my car - front trim reseated and new wing mirror fitted, £20 - bargain (I source the replacement wing mirror). But, also, forked out £165 on car tax! Cleaned the lounge from top to bottom. Knackering!

Day 80: Chatted with Dad and Rita - he’s pissed off with the slavery backlash but otherwise they are both OK. I saw Baz in the Tesco queue where I mentioned my disgust at the Thursday market being allowed (I found I could not maintain 2m at all times just walking to Tesco’s!) and that I really don’t want to catch Covid19 as I will probably die. Maybe a bit dramatic but he messaged me later today to say he’d been thinking on what I said and offered to shop for me. I replied that I am OK to shop but am scared at how people are taking things so much less seriously than when lockdown started yet the virus is still out there just as it was then! I am very touched at his massage. I thoroughly cleaned the bedroom and changed the bedclothes today. House work really knackers me out!

Day 81: Spare room cleaned today. Not much else to type about. It’s Friday, I making curried mince and I don’t feel like a beer. How I’ve changed!

Day 82: I did have beers last night. Ended up going to bed with daylight and dawn chorus for company. Today, when I woke, gone 1pm, I have been greeted by what can only be described as thoroughly depressing news from every quarter. This includes violence in the capital, further virus outbreak in Beijing. Fog’s political posts on FB make for depressing (but vaild) reading. I’m feeling thoroughly fed up today. Not even music can lift my mood…

…but, I am currently listening to Craig Charles on BBCR6 and, I have to say, he’s putting in quite an exceptional effort - there may be hope that my mood might lift, even at gone 8pm! I might have a beer or two and grab something postivity and enjoyment from the day after all.

Day 83: Another late one last night but up before noon today. Started watching something called Condor on Sky One. It’s OK - there’s stuff I wanna waytch on Amazon Prime but, more often than not, it keeps telling me there’s ‘a problem’ when I try to play anything. Pissing me off. I just checked and I have two weeks of the initial 12 of furlough to go. I shall started asking the questions about what might happen on the Connections website.

Day 84: Typing this on Day 85. On the way back from dropping off some shoes for Sean Davies at his brother’s (martin) I met Karen and she said why not pop round for a beer so I did. Certainly not used to a drink on a Monday so that, and the genral upheaval to my evening, while good fun and a nice change, put pay to my usual diary entry! I sorted Amazon Prime out by leaving the TV turned off for over an hour. Day 85: Tim did the garden today and it looks great. The pipes in the bathroom have been knocking loudly, on and off, for a couple of weeks now. Last night, they were so loud that today I took it upon myself to resolve it or ring Woodfords. So, having turned off the water, run the taps dry to get rid of any trapped air and then turned the water back on slowly, I discoved it’s the cistern and its pipes. Woodfords are arranging Corvee to visit. Meanwhile, leaving the water turned off at least stops the noise which is, otherwise, costant and unbearable! I emailed HR a couple of days ago about what’s happening in a couple of weeks time in terms of furlough when the 12 weeks will be up. Sue Cockimngs got back to me attaching an email Deryn sent on 15th May which I never received. Basically, they’ll extend furlough if need be and an update should be forthcoming late May/early June. Well, that time has passed, so who knows what is going to happen. The furlough scheme (CJRS) has been changed by the govenment, I’ve read, and it looks like any new people would have to have been furloughed by June 10th (it’s the 16th today) so no furlough rotation, which is annoying. The CJRS ends 1st October with employer contributions required from 1st August - that’s D-Day as far as I am concerned….so job hunting will have to step up a notch! Day 86: Pete’s birthday and he bought himself the same speaker as me. When I asked if it lived up to his expectations he mentioned it’s better through WiFi than Bluetooth. That confused me as I haven’t got WiFi available on mine…..long story short, I bought the wrong fucking speaker. I got a AudioPro AddOn T10 instead of C10. To say I am fucked off is an understatement. To think I was so pleased at the cheap price I paid. Now I feel like I have wasted  €200. Bollocks.

Day 87: Finished Alex Rider last night. Another series that started off so well and ended a litte weak but, overall, not bad. I’ve started keeping strange meal times…lunch very late (4pm) and dinner really late (11pm). I need to sort it ‘cos it’s playing havoc with my sugar levels. I had a huge hypo while having my second walk today, second day on the trot that’s happened. My late dinner was Chinese chicked curry with a quarter of a scotch bonnet and two birdeye chillies. Delish.

Day 88: I have managed to be bitten yesterday or the day before on one of my walks. There are strange, itchy lumps on my right inner forearm. And I do mean itchy. I trimmed my sideburns today, I was very pissed off with them. My hair looks just a little less shit. I did a shop at Tesco in Corby today. Mainly booze as follows: 20 cans Sam Miguel £18 18 cans Stella £15 20 bottles Bud £10 8 cans Tyskie £9 3 lrg bottles Warsteiner £5 £57 Bargain.

Day 89: Lazy day. One short walk and usual stair climb. Howard and Sue popped round to give me a pressie - bottle of Monkey Shoulder. I’m building up quite a collection of whisky!

Day 90: Dad called and we chatted for an hour or so. I had to apologise for not sending a father’s day card! Dan messaged me and offered to pay for a pizza delivery which I declined.

Football has started again this past week…Prem and Championship only. L1 and L2 season was cut short and Posh missed out on the play-offs by one place. As I type, Everton v Liverpool is on Sky Sports on a Sunday evening - it’s very strange with no crowd. There’s crowd noise being played thorugh the tannoy.

[youngerdaniel]

Youngo’s 2019 at the Movies (with Baby Yoda)

IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN, FOLKS...

Wherein this blog crawls out of the woodwork with fresh aspirations for a more consistent content strategy in the year to come. Like a Baby Yoda emerging from his floating iron egg to great the sun. So let’s dust off some cobwebs and talk about the great movies that came out in 2019.

BRIEF UPDATES FROM THE WAFFLER This year marked a turning point. No, not that fucking decade that everybody’s making a big deal about. Not even that I hit 30 but thankfully have most of my (still not totally gray) hair... Nope, I went into business for myself. I leapt off the stable lily pad of 9-5 etc. and went freelance! Life’s been full of stories since then -- both the kind I write, and the kind I get to look under the hood on. I’m happy to report I’ve written more than ever before... Just not blogs, and mostly stuff I’m not at liberty to discuss.

*Clears throat. Pulls up the collar on his trench coat.* And I may have had more hair turn gray. Turns out, running your own ship is quite a bit of work, especially when you’re teaching yourself how the hell you do it. Nevertheless, I loved the shit out of every minute of it, and I still use phrases like nevertheless. It could easily be a blog (or several) for a different time, but the short and easy explanation of the absence is I was busy, it was fun, get over it. 

Besides, we don’t actually care about whatever lame excuse I have for why I haven’t been posting. We’re here because it’s 2020 and time for a listicle, dammit! This one is neither definitive nor ranked. But dang if 2019′s fodder didn’t come sauntering into theaters like the big chuckling cherub of Christmas Present, with a cornucopia of awesomeness. 

THINGS I LOVED, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

UNDER THE SILVER LAKE David Robert Mitchell’s neo noir takes a fittingly existential approach to detective fiction. An enigmatic case, hidden clues and coded pop culture, Andrew Garfield’s charmingly hapless sleuth... There’s a lot to love in this weird soup of a movie. At times nightmarish, often trippy, and an excellent performance from a parrot. Late night fodder.

CLIMAX Gaspar Noe does not make sane movies. With Climax, there’s a hypnotic quality that sucks you in and drags you along on its nightmarish journey as a group of dancers drink from a punchbowl laced with drugs. The result is absolute bedlam, and everything from the lighting to the camerawork pulls its weight to put you into the action. This is the kind of thing you watch and marvel that, “Wow, they went there.” to varying degrees of satisfaction. Like a freight train barreling toward the side of a mountain, it’s hard to look away even though you know you probably should. 

JOJO RABBIT And then there’s a different kind of madness. The movie that billed itself as “The movie that shouldn’t work.” Jojo Rabbit is so full of heart. This is Taika Waititi in full force, and hilarity meets real pathos. Love is better than Nazis. It’s a simple message, and I think it doesn’t need to be much more. The relevance of such a narrative in our time is pretty disappointing, but the truth seems to be that we need ones like this to come along and remind the collective. The mashup of humor with genuine drama is balanced in a way that will feel familiar to fans of THE HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE or BOY. The performances are superb, and it’s a beautiful looking film. If you missed it last year, start the new one off right and amend this problem.

US The thing I dug the most about US was how unique it felt. Original premises in horror are on the rise, and there’s no denying the man leading the wave is Jordan Peele. The social commentary elements of this followup to GET OUT play with a little more subtlety, and in some ways it almost felt like a stronger move... But I refuse to compare the two of them. US stands out in its own right, and carries some of the most memorable performances of the year. A twisting narrative that crackles with tension, and a concept that haunts the imagination. What if your every action had an equal an opposite effect on a mirrored version of yourself? A study on the impact of the class system, and a nightmarish what-if to explain the real life series of underground tunnels that span the United States. Also, that costume design! That Alexa gag! The way this one opens up at the midpoint was such a delight in the theater. I’d apologize for spoilers, but let’s be real... You’ve seen this movie.

AD ASTRA Best summed up as “Daddy Issues in Space,” AD ASTRA feels like the kind of sci-fi mysteries that were made in the late 70s and 80s. A spellbinding journey to the far edges of the galaxy to save the world, and maybe prove that aliens exist. Oh, and to stop your possibly insane father from destroying the human race on the way. Brad Pitt is on fire, and everything about this potent emotional journey remains focused on his character’s dilemma of deciding whether or not his father was a good man, what it means to him and his own isolated existence, and whether he can overcome that shit and live a life instead of taking risks. From its opening scene to its closing one, this one blends gripping life-or-death set-pieces exploring the dangers of space travel and the cyclical nature of humanity’s progress with small moments. The journey, the heart-wrenching climax, and the harrowing trip home is well worth the rental fee. Check it out.

THE GIRL ON THE THIRD FLOOR

Some horror movies exist to make you think, some exist to cover their protagonists in black goo, subject them to grueling physical and psychological lament, and chuck ‘em through a woodchipper for good measure. The Girl on the Third Floor takes your average premise of “Stubborn and troubled guy picks a fixer-upper house to flip, only to discover horrors beyond his imagining” and leans hard into the gross-outs and festering boils of body horror. Reminiscent of Evil Dead, Amityville, and Dead Alive, there’s so much insanity to love, and the movie makes some big turns -- some surprising, some daring, some a little out there. It is by no means perfect, but it’s got a charm about its rough edges. You will never look at a marble the same way again.

I LOST MY BODY

I know. “A life-affirming work” left me a little skeptical too. But from its very first frame, I LOST MY BODY is arresting. Its hypnotic narrative follows the story of a severed hand in search of its owner, and has great fun carrying you along with its troubled protagonist’s journey from a crush to obsession. The sheer amount of visual storytelling and striking imagery is worth the runtime, but for any arthouse lovers feeling a little too chilled to hop down to the nearest indie theatre can open a new tab and have at it. Didn’t expect to be as moved by this one as I was, and for that I must recommend it.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME The fact that a movie like this can even exist is pretty amazing, and I have to say, as the culmination to the Avengers saga as we know it, ENDGAME delivered something with way more heart and character than I expected. Funny, sad, bittersweet, and massively satisfying. This is the Thanksgiving Turkey dinner of movies. It’s got everything. But the best part for me was how little fighting the big superhero finale of the decade had to it. Firmly rooted in character, taking ambitious and surprising turns in their trajectories, and balancing the fanwanks with a genuinely exciting story. I mean, c’mon. Time heist? A Greatest Hits play that also recontextualizes a few of the lesser films of the sweeping franchise? The third act battle felt a little tacked-on, but the conclusion felt like exactly what we needed. 

READY OR NOT I love this movie. Love it like an adorable, scrappy friend who always manages to make their social commentary entertaining. Hide and Seek turns deadly for a bride to be when she meets her future in-laws, the proprietors of a board game company that takes their product very seriously. A darkly funny survive-the-gauntlet-till-morning ride. Great characters. Awesome kills. A few really unexpected and delightfully devilish turns. Oh, and it takes a stab at privilege and how far some people are willing to go to preserve theirs. It’s got teeth, a mean bite, and it’s fun to walk around the neighborhood. If you liked YOU’RE NEXT, you will probably love this movie. I still can’t get its final few moments out of my head. And I mean that in the best way.

PARASITE Speaking of social criticism and privilege, there’s no denying the brute fucking force of PARASITE. Following a struggling family who imbed themselves into a rich family by posing as the help, this madcap game of suspense takes so many surprising turns that even describing the full plot spoils the fun. Go into this one having read as little as possible. It will take you for a spin. Part con movie, part social critique, part comedy and part tragedy, it’s a lot to digest, but it’s a damned tasty treat. 

KNIVES OUT In a word, it’s fun. Rian Johnson’s locked room murder mystery packs some wonderful barbs in the side of affluence, armchair activism, and the corruptive nature of wealth. A wealthy novelist is found dead, and all of his family members have motive... But don’t let the familiar set-up fool you, KNIVES OUT plays fair with its audience, but it is a fast runner. The story jumps ahead of you almost every time you think you’ve got it figured out. Daniel Craig’s genius sleuth is full of likable energy, protagonist Marta is full of layers, and the family are all such a pleasure to watch. Several times along the trip, I had no idea where the story would turn next, or how much further the envelope could be pushed, but by the end, I came out marveling at its construction. The production design is unreal. The direction and vibe are so unique, and by the closing image, it’s nearly impossible not to enjoy the shift in values. There’s also a speech involving donuts that I will be reciting at parties for the foreseeable future.

DANIEL ISN’T REAL

I closed off the year with this wildly inventive take on the possession trope. This. Movie. Is. Nuts. Which, considering it was produced by the same folks who did MANDY, shouldn’t come as a surprise. A mind-bending tale that riffs on Jekyll and Hyde, with a great modernization tackling the concept from a mental health perspective... It’s not the first time it’s been done, but the execution is just excellent. We follow a disturbed young man whose imaginary friend hatched from a childhood trauma makes a devilish return to play hell with his adult life. It’s a psychological horror that’s FIGHT CLUB meets THE DOUBLE. Great look. Excellent creature design and visuals for a cosmic horror that makes great use of low budget devices. If you’re looking for the answer to the age old question of “Should my third act involve my protagonist battling his inner demons literally with a rooftop sword fight?” You’ve found your contender.

I’ll tell you this, reader friend. The hardest part about 2019′s slate at the box office was deciding what to see. There were so many interesting movies that came out, brimming with big ideas and social commentary. Sad as the state of the world is, there’s no denying times of unrest have a knack for yielding great art. The Trump era has made its stamp on Hollywood for better or for worse. But the rising tide of voices pushing back give me a bit of hope, and a lot of salve for the whole existential dread thing. I think that, however small it is, is good.

For what it’s worth, none of these films are reinventing the wheel or burning flags... But they are asking questions. Okay, CLIMAX, really isn’t asking anything, but it is fun as hell. There’s just as much merit in the salve as there is in the flame that caused the burn.  So may your 2020 be full of entertainment. I’ll try to get some useful content up here at least every couple of months in smaller digestible forms. Now go forth and brunch, you hungover, resolution-breaking slob.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Gene Autry's Horse

Peter David recently posted a short essay on the current brouhaha over Martin Scorsese and Francis Coppola saying the Marvel movies aren’t real cinema, not genuine works of art, but just “thrill rides”.

Before going further, let me state my unabashed respect and admiration for Peter David.  He’s a creator who certainly earned his spurs, he has a massive body of work, he is an all around mensch, and his opinion is hard earned and well informed.

Except in this case, his conclusions are wrong.

To prove my point, let me ask Peter a question:

What was the name of Gene Autry’s horse?

Those of you wondering what Gene’s horse has to do with the Marvel cinematic universe (hence MCU), my explanation is this: The single largest genre of films made before 1960 were Westerns.

Add to that television programs, where Westerns remained a staple until the mid-1970s.

And radio shows.

And pulp novels.

And comic books.

They were the definitive American movie genre from 1903’s The Great Train Robbery until Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid drove a stake through the heart of the standard genre offering in 1969.

There are some who claim Blazing Saddles did the genre in, but Westerns had endured numerous comedy and parody versions in the past.

Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid killed the Western as a popular genre by simply having Butch and Sundance do the most logical thing at the first sign of danger, the thing the real Butch and Sundance did in real life:  They ran away.

And thus a genre trope was forever slain…

This is not to say they’ve never made another film that falls into the broad category of “Western”, but there’s no audience clamor for more of the genre.

Westerns are now simply historical films set in the American west during the period from the fall of the Alamo (1836) to Arizona becoming a state (1912).

There are films that employ Western genre tropes that take place in the contemporary era (Road House and Extreme Prejudice to name two) or transplant the Western genre to other lands (Sukiyaki Western Django and Tampopo, f’r instance), but as a genre it is dead-dead-DEAD.

Yet at one time, Westerns were so popular that not only did everybody know the name of Gene Autry’s horse, but said horse starred in his own TV series!

So what happened?

Well, several things.

I could cite the changing audience in America, going from 80% rural prior to WWII to 80% urban / suburban after WWII (with a corresponding rise in detective and spy genres, as well as sci-fi), or I could cite a huge glut of material made even more accessible by television, but the truth is this:  The overwhelming bulk of American Westerns were nothing but product.

It was actually built into the genre.  I’ve been trying to locate the original essay, but a scholarly study some years back concluded only 8 basic plot conflicts drove Western stories, and only 17 stock characters carried said stories (they can be good, bad, or neutral characters, effectively tripling their number).

The essay went on to liken American Westerns to Japanese noh or kabuki dramas:  Far from familiarity of material being a problem, audiences came expecting certain tropes and stock characters, and gained their enjoyment from how well said tropes and characters were presented.

Sound familiar?

This is not to say there weren’t films that fell into the Western genre that also aspired to art, but you either had to be a Hollywood heavy hitter to get a chance at making a film like that or, at the tail end of the genre, flying so low under the radar that nobody recognized what you were doing until you did it.

Does that sound familiar?

But the overwhelming majority of Westerns, while possessing technical craftsmanship, were just product:  So many feet of gunfights. So many reels of stampedes.

Big budget A-picture or bare bones B-movie, they all fell into the same general patterns, and studios, large or small, promoted them the same way.

And audiences were fine with this.  Tom Mix, Gene Autry, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans frequently wound up among the top 10 box office draws in Hollywood during their careers.

Where are those Westerns now?

I’m a big fan of old B-Westerns, having grown up with them on TV as a kid, and know a fair amount about the personalities and production companies involved, seeking out B-Westerns on Amazon Prime and YouTube and the multi-pack bargain bins at big box stores.

How many of today’s superhero fans could identify William Boyd or Red Barry or Rocky Lane or Buck Jones?

They might remember hearing the names of Roy Rogers or Gene Autry since those stars were involved in mainstream marketing such as fast food restaurants or baseball teams (and Autry donated a museum to Los Angeles that’s named after him), but how many have actually seen any of their movies?

We have two competing superhero universes today, DCU and MCU.

Where are the T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents movies?  How come there’s no Dr. Solar or Brain Boy or Magnus, Robot Fighter films?

Answer:  No large corporation stand to make billions promoting those characters and licensing them to toys, video games, vitamin, and Underoos.

Corporations possess no sense of integrity to the original creators’ concepts.  They will change things in the blink of an eye if they think it will boost their profit margin.  They’ll promote the silliest and the most self-damaging ideas if they think it will make them a few extra bucks today.

Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman succeeded at DC bcause nobody there cared what the creators did so long as they turned their work in on time.

Product.

Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko and Jim Steranko blazed exciting new trails at Marvel because Martin Goodman couldn’t have cared less what they were doing so long as they delivered on schedule and under budget.

Product.

They flew under the radar.  They worked in a fast and grungy fashion, knocking the books out as quickly as they could.

To amuse themselves they trafficked in big ideas, eccentric art, outre stories.

That it caught on and blazed a new trail proved a combination of talent and luck.

There was no similar boom for romance comics or nurse comics or Western comics during the same period.

Right now the MCU movies are riding high and they are made with a great deal of technical care and they are amusing and entertaining.

So were Westerns.

MCU movies aim at too specialized an audience.  They appeal to this generation, but there’s no guarantee they’ll appeal to the next.

Indeed, there’s a strong argument that the next generation will reject the previous generation’s entertainment simply because it’s…well…theirs.

The films of Coppola and Scorsese will be watched.

They’re not product.

Oh, there were financed to make money, sure enough, but they were financed to make money by expressing the director’s personal taste and vision.

Further, they tend to transcend genre.

Yeah, two generations from now people who really love gangster movies will probably look up The Godfather and GoodFellas.

But people who love film, people who love art will be watching them as well.

They’ll also watch Public Enemy and Little Caesar, but unless they’re film buffs with specialized tastes, they’re going to skip the dozens of “programmers” cranked out in the 1930s to satisfy fans of that genre.

And the reason?  The Godfather and GoodFellas and Public Enemy and Little Caesar transcend their genres.

They are about people, not thrills and chills.

Consider classic Universal horror films.

James Whale & co. snuck one bona fide brilliant work of art past Carl Laemmle with Bride Of Frankenstein but after that the brakes clamped down hard and fast.

Uncle Carl couldn’t have geniuses running around doing whatever they felt like, thus risking the audience for Universal’s product.

Consistent mediocrity is better than risky genius in the eyes of the corporations.

The classic Universal monsters?  Reduced to The Munsters now; familiar icons, to be sure, but empty jokes, shadows of their former selves.

Replaced by newer monsters who in turn have been replaced by newer monster who in turn have been replaced by newer monsters and who will be replaced by newer monsters still.

‘Twas ever thus.

I begrudge the enjoyment no nobody who enjoys MCU movies.

Have fun.  Knock yourselves out.

But never mistake popcorn for caviar.

    © Buzz Dixon

  Champion was the name of Gene Autry’s horse.

[tailahjanbash]

What I Learned About Being a Whole When I Was a Half

I fell in love once. It was a time of raging teenage hormones and an unrealistic view of love due to my Taylor Swift obsession. It was the ultimate pining-for-your-bestfriend-80’s film-love that would ensure disaster on my naïve heart.

Looking back now, it was like a John Hughes movie on repeat—but every time you thought the happy ending was coming, I just kept getting my heart broken over, and over, and over... you get the idea.

Eventually the movie ended. After it was all said and done, I remember crying on the bathroom floor, wondering if the pain would ever leave. I remember praying every night that God would just make it easier. That I would wake up the next morning and feel just a tiny bit less than what I felt the night before. Am I resonating with any romantics here?

Well, it’s been a few years since then, and those wounds have healed—but I’ll never forget the priceless lessons I learned throughout the healing process.

Today I want to share with you some of the things I learned about being a whole when I was a half.

1. I believed the lie.

I believed the lie that I would never find love or connect to another person as much as I did when I fell in love. I fueled this fear with what I thought was “logic” and “reasoning”, but in reality, I was just letting fear bully me.

That was the furthest thing from the truth. It doesn’t align with God’s promises or nature.

2. There’s a natural way to deal with heartbreak, and there’s a supernatural way.

The truth is, when you find the person that’s right for you, it will make complete sense why it never worked with anyone else before.

When glass breaks, it’s natural to pick up the larger shards first in order to clean up the mess. The bigger pieces are easier to identify, pick up, and throw away. Breakups kind of happen the same way. Once everything has fallen apart, it’s easy to spot the big issues, like bad communication or dishonesty. But after those big pieces have been cleaned up, we are still left with the small shards; the ones that are not always visible that contribute to the brokenness.

The smaller pieces take longer to clean up. They require precision, careful attention, caution, and accuracy.

Anyone with decent eye sight can spot large pieces of glass. Meaning—it’s common knowledge that cheating is wrong, ghosting is immature, and lack of communication is the kiss of death. Even Cosmo can give you sound advice on this.

Then we get to the shards.

This is where the world gets the healing process totally wrong.

The sin, behaviors, and emotions underneath the surface that aren’t so easy to spot— those contribute to our broken condition.

Let me put this into an example: A lot of people think that getting into a new relationship will help you forget about your old one.

This is using another person to distract you from your pain and emptiness. Not only is this unfair to the person you are dragging along with you, but you can’t heal properly this way. You need to face your demons instead carrying them into your next relationship!

That rejection, fear of vulnerability, anger, loneliness, sorrow, depression, bitterness, resentment, pain, and allll the other negative emotions that accompany heartbreak— are the shards.

A playlist, going out with friends, a new bae, drinking until you forget, and all the other remedies that the world gives you… they don’t work.

The good news is, God is dying to heal you. (Quite literally)

He can’t wait for the night you put down the bottle or turn off of the T.V., whatever the distraction is, and turn to Him for the healing.

God doesn’t leave us alone in our fragmented state and expect perfection. In fact, He promises to get down in the mess and brokenness with us to find the solution and piece us together into a new and beautiful creation.

That’s exactly what He did for me. And I know He can do it for you.

3. You’ve gotta catch the foxes

“You must catch the troubling foxes, those sly little foxes that hinder our relationship. For they raid our budding vineyard of love, to ruin what I’ve planted within you. Will you catch them and remove them for me? We will do it together.” Song of Songs 2:15

When I read this scripture, the Lord made it very clear that my foxes at the time were guys and relationships.

The bible says that satan prowls around like a lion, looking for whomever he may devour. So, it should come as no surprise that he sends distractions and uses people and/or demonic principalities to keep us from effectively serving God.

I noticed that whenever I was minding my own business, crushing my school work, and super close to God… some gorgeous boy would pop out of nowhere and ask me out. I didn’t catch on at first. I was giddy and couldn’t wait to go out.

Okay so, what happens when you start talking to someone? Your brain goes from paying attention in class to planning the next date. Your hangouts take precedence over bible study and your mind and heart become filled with this person.

Eventually I would learn that these guys were great people, but simply not meant for me. And then I would remember the instructions God gave me and immediately want to slap myself in the face. How much time and energy did I invest in something that I could have avoided had I been obedient? I could have put that time into improving my grades or making new friends.

Maybe your foxes are ungodly friendships, being overly invested in a sport or celebrity, or a sin you always find yourself going back to.

A good indicator of your hearts priorities is seeing where you spend most of your time and money. Anything that takes precedence over God is not only a fox, but an idol.

I find it interesting that the word of God uses foxes to illustrate this picture. Foxes are sly and sneaky. They operate in darkness and in shadows, and they rob you of your crop. Spiritual foxes do the same.

They rob you of spiritual growth. The more time you spend binge-watching Netflix, the less time you have to read your bible and pray. Whatever you sow, you will reap. If you are sowing unproductivity—meaning putting your time towards sleeping, laying around, and watching tv, you are going to yield a crop of laziness, procrastination, and slothfulness. The fruit of your life will be marked by these negative characteristics.

I believe there are things God wants to continue to plant and grow in you and the beautiful thing, is that he says he will catch the foxes with us—we’re not on our own in the battle against sin and temptation. The Spirit of God helps us identify our foxes and gives us the strength to catch and kill those bad habits.

4. If you can make it past the first few months, you’re in the clear.

Just like breaking any habit, it’s going to be really difficult at first. Especially if you have never truly been on your own (romantically) like I had.

Relationships are wonderful—you have someone doting over you, laughing at your terrible jokes, and telling you how beautiful you are. But pull the rug out from under the relationship and you’re left with two seriously insecure people.

It’s human psychology—you’re used to receiving love and attention, so now that it is gone, you must fill that void with affirmation.

*downloads tinder*

Just kidding.

I wanted to break that habit because it never worked; I was never truly healed. Seeking male affirmation never satisfied my heart, soul, and spirit. I realized I needed to fill that void with God’s love instead of attention from guys.

And ladies, once I made that decision, I was unstoppable.

First, I had to set barriers for myself. I literally stopped everything related to relationships cold turkey... I was serious about getting the full and complete healing I needed!

I did not allow myself to go on dates, text guys that I liked, and on nights when I was particularly sad, I would turn everything off (tv, phone, laptop) and spend time with God.

Eventually, it got easier. Once the Holy Spirit started filling the holes in my heart, they actually began healing effective immediately. Getting over heartbreak became a million times easier because I wasn’t trying to duct tape DIY my heart back together. I was giving it back to the one who created it. It’s funny…we so easily forget that the master designer of our heart knows exactly how to heal it.

Looking back, I can’t believe how much of my heart was not only divided but broken. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. God had to stop me in the middle of a rebound relationship, arrest my heart, and give me these step-by-step instructions like you would an unruly toddler.

My encouragement today, is don’t be hard-headed like I was. Don’t let your heart get so tangled up in its own will and desires that it forgets God’s.

And finally, I’m not selling you a foolproof step-by-step guide on how to get over someone. Your story and your heartbreak are different than mine. But I do know heartbroken people, more than anything, want to feel like they aren’t alone. That someone understands them. To that I say, “Have you considered the one who planned this long ago?” Isaiah 22:11

For more blogs and content check out my website!

http://www.thechosengirl.info/