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janiedean · 3 years ago

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if you ever wrote that rant about grrm making jon his chosen one deconstruction i'd be very happy to read it 👀

hello anon sorry for the lateness but here we go *deep breath*

sssooo, I had once ranted about it though not mentioning the thing I mentioned in those tags so lemme see if I can find the op and like... cp the main argument and amend it bc it was long, but okay so I found it, original anon asked me: why is Jon considered to be one of the most special characters grrm created? Why is he not the typical hero of fantasy books?, my original answer was here if anyone wants to go there but basically lemme just cp the first part making it shorter and then I'm adding:

first thing, the Typical Post-Tolkien Chosen One With A Shitty Life Before He Finds Out He Is Chosen™ character (I’m saying post-tolkien because every fantasy writer in existence who copies tolkien thinks that lotr went like that and instead it didn’t) usually goes through the following steps: his life sucks up until the beginning of the series, his family generally hates him/her or doesn’t appreciate them or abuses them or anyway doesn’t make their life easier and they’ve never known any different, but *something* never quite worked right and they always knew something was missing in their life, they just didn’t know why. suddenly someone who knows they were Chosen™ shows up and tells them that they’re actually Special because of this this and that and they have a quest to go on to save the world or something. our hero/heroine obviously is finally validated and while their quest is hard and full of hardships and maybe they lose a few friends along the way, finding out that they were Chosen gives their life meaning, they usually find love/friends/everything they didn’t have before until they fulfill the Prophecy™ and live more or less happily ever after, possibly after hooking up with the Person Of Their Dreams with whom they had UST up until the last twenty pages of the book. basically: being Chosen™ in regular fantasy novels is a good thing because suddenly you’re special and all the crap you suffered acquires a new meaning and in the end it made your life better.

jon snow is a complete overhaul of about everything in this sense because

instead of having a family who hates him he has a family who actually mostly loves him, and with ned it’s arguably so much that he risks royal treason by keeping him hidden from his *best friend* - sure, there’s cat and peripherally sansa, but his issues stem from the fact that he feels lesser because he’s a bastard (as far as he knows) and it’s a *class* issue, not a *my family hates me* issue not counting catelyn obv but that's what gives him freudian issues more on that in the emended part later

no one actually knows that he’s Chosen™ - like mel could get there and probably will and someone will put two and two together when his parentage comes out in the open, but he doesn’t have a gandalf or mentor who shows him The Way Towards His Quest

so instead of going from ‘my life sucks but I’m going on a quest which is gonna be a+’ he actively chooses to leave a fairly decent situation (a household he knows, siblings who love him - ned actually hoped he’d become robb’s counselor or right hand man or something from what we can gather) because he feels like he has to prove he’s better than his name and goes to the Crappiest Place In Westeros. like idk if people grasp it, but the wall is basically a prison and at the ripe age of fourteen he decides that it’s totally a good and honorable choice (his only choice actually) to go defend the realm in the freezing cold along with a bunch of criminals/derelicts/rejects of society

at which point he makes friends among said rejects and let’s remember that it’s the point where he actually has to do his first an only privilege when donal noye made him go like hey you were brought up with nobles these ppl are here because they stole bread, and that helps making him more into the person he is rn but like your tyopical fantasy hero who has had a shitty life doesn’t usually have to acknowledge that other people might have had it worse

then he goes on the Quest where he finds his first One True Love, and that’s where it turns even worse because usually the quest is where things start to go right for the Hero™, instead for jon they start to go wronger, because first he has to go undercover which pretty much tests most of his belief/code system, he falls in love with a girl he has to betray, half of his friends and his lord commander die along the way, while he’s off doing his thing winterfell gets taken/burned and robb dies when jon openly stated that he also was going to the wall to defend his family and keep them safe (yeaaah worked out real well), when he goes back to the wall he has to fight the people he lived with for months, the woman he loves dies in his arms and he can’t do anything about it and he’s aware it couldn’t have gone any other way, people put defending the wall on him and then put his loyalty in question, when stannis shows up with a legitimization (which is everything he ever wanted) he refuses because he doesn’t want to accidentally steal his siblings’s inheritance (which was what cat was so worried about hahaha) and actively chooses the crappy defending the realm life all over again. also in all this time his being Chosen™ hasn’t manifested or helped him in any way whatsoever - actually all his honor-moral code related baggage is what moral dilemmas come from that. like, your usual chosen hero™ would always take the right decision and it all turns out good eventually, jon takes the morally right decision and it all turns SOUR eventually

at this point he finally gets elected LC, thanks to his friends also pitching in, which is about the one fantasy hero™ thing that’s happened for now. should be good, yes?

lol no, because he ends up with THAT hellish responsibility at sixteen, since he thinks that he has absolutely to be even better than that now and he has very specific notions about how you should lead and he knows he has to take unpopular decisions/decisions that he doesn’t necessarily like, he ends up either having to send his friends away forreal (sam) or detaching from them (pyp/grenn/the likes) and when as far as he knows he learns that his sister is married to ramsay he can’t do anything about it

never mind that it’s the same situation as when he had to pick the watch or robb in book one - he went there to defend his family and now being there actually prevents him from helping them in person. ops. meanwhile he’s trying to implement a new vision of things which is modern and smart and actually makes sense because why fighting the wildlings when you have ZOMBIES coming. your usual Chosen One™ would get people to approve just because he’s the Chosen One

instead jon gets stabbed to death - okay, that was also because he wanted to go get arya but it was the last straw, people were pissed over the wildlings plan first and foremost

so basically he’s gone through all the Chosen One™ steps but in reverse - he loses his family which did love him instead of finding another one that makes the first pale in comparison, he does find a new one who loves him but has to alienate most of its members for responsibility reasons as a consequence of what should have been the crowning achievement of his life choices (which eventually is NOT one), he falls in love and they don’t drag the UST forever but they never get a chance to be together without small print in between, he chooses the admittedly most masochistic life he could for his family as well and half of them die and he can’t do a thing for the other half, every other mentor-like figure he runs into after ned dies, instead of finding validation he ends up having to isolate himself and on top of everything HE STILL DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW HE’S THE CHOSEN ONE™

so instead of his life going better the more he learns stuff and matures as a person, he gets murdered. by the people he trusts and who were supposed to be his new family. haha?

never mind that when he finds out he’s the Chosen One™ it won’t bring him closure because all he ever wanted was being full stark like his father/siblings and then bam he’s going to find out his father’s actually targaryen and what does that even mean to him?

on top of that being AA will just be a pain because I don’t believe for a second he’s not going to get leftover ptsd and who the hell is gonna help him deal with it? or how is he ever getting over his *brothers* murdering him? and people are going to ask stuff of him all over again and he’s gonna have to go slay a mythical monster and if I know grrm it’s not gonna be fun, pretty or cathartic FOR HIM

on top of that, Chosen Hero™ fulfills the prophecy and gets a realm to rule and everyone lives happily ever after. money is that if jon does get that realm (and I think he is because he has the best claim if he's legitimate and most likely it'll turn out he was on the targ side but ROBB also legitimized him so he has double the legitimization), he’s going to hate every second of it and he’ll take it because a) duty, b) literally no one else is available, and like this guy didn’t want to rule a realm or be a king or anything he just wanted to be a stark, and instead he’s going to have to after all that shit thanks to Magical And Noble Heritage he hadn’t even known he had and probably didn’t even want up to that point because since when jon wanted to be a targ? yeah since never

obviously I hope he manages to be somewhat happy regardless because the alternative is too miserable, but basically being a Chosen Hero™ is what makes jon’s life worse rather than better and the fact that hew went through all the regular self-discovery journey for the fantasy hero list doesn’t mean he’s not flipping that over in his sl. the fact that he stayed a decent person more or less throughout it and that he hasn’t turned into a bitter asshole also doesn’t change the main point XD

tldr: jon snow is not a typical fantasy hero because he deconstructs that trope into tiny little bits same as robb deconstructed the arthurian flawless king hero trope

now ^^^^^ THAT was what I originally wrote for that meta but adding on to what I said in those tags

okay so... there is a certain tendency to also make the chosen one™ special in the sense that he's kind of goals - good looking, rich or set to inherit, gallant, takes the initiative, he's like.. social or anyway immediately makes friends etc and all that jazz which jon... doesn't really fit

like jon is an introvert who immediately makes friends just with outcasts and his siblings also bc he feels like one but he's hardly a social butterfly and charms everyone wherever he walks by

I mean ffs says all that the only person he charmed in that sense is stannis who is the literal only person in charge in the books who is more introvert than him and has worse communication issues and appreciates ppl going straight to the point

on top of that in the book he looks like ned.... and arya looks like ned and ned isn't described as being particularly handsome that was brandon so he's not even like... I mean kit h. is v. pretty and I think he was a good choice for the role and I'll die on the hill that he was born to play that character and he did it well but book!jon doesn't have that kinda pretty face so the concept that he's the HOT alternative to anyone to me is kind of iffy bc he's not

he's shit at social interactions and at PR which is why robb and him would have been a key winning ticket like he has a better idea of the larger picture but robb would have actually made sure ppl didn't turn against them bc he actually was good at that but like he doesn't go around rallying armies in his name does he

the one time he's been with a girl it was ygritte and like he courted her without realizing it and then she had to pursue him and he barely knew wtf to do on top of the fact that they slept with ghost in the middle of them like a sword which..... is.... I mean sleeping with the sword in the middle was a thing to make sure the maiden stayed a maiden and he's the one who is like i CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER EVEN IF I WANT TO BECAUSE I'M TECHNICALLY SPYING ON THEM like... he's not... gallant-knight coded

never mind that the moment they do the do she basically does everything until he decides to try the oral which I mean... isn't exactly alphadominatingmale out of jon which is not a given with the trope he's supposed to represent like he's not smooth he's not suave he's like WHAT THE FUCK when ygritte tells him he has a pretty face bc most likely no one else told him that and he like... doesn't pursue people like that in general which is also not exactly 100% what that trope usually goes for

we can add that he has a lot of passive-aggressive little shit sarcasm in him that they didn't let him go for in the show but like... usually chosen heroes™ don't think what he thinks about selyse in general

we can also add that he's not automatically above being better than his position like... he doesn't take winterfell bc ygritte is dead but he did think he'd have taken the deal sansa or not if stannis had said he could marry her and not val and if she wasn't dead, he basically went off the rails at the dude he was fighting with thinking about robb telling him that he couldn't be lord of wf because he was a bastard and he's absolutely not in the frame of mind of 'well I was born a bastard who cares it doesn't define me'

he's obsessed to the point of unhealthy with actually being defined by it which is why he was better off with the wildlings aka the only idiots in the realm who don't gaf about that

and that's like... I mean usually if chosen ones™ have parental issues it's like 'you were an orphan and raised by asses who weren't your parents but your parents loved you and you'll find out at some point and you'll be happier for it and make your own family', jon is like... he has the mommy freudian issues of the century bc of how cat treated him, on the other side he's obsessed with living up to ned's/his father's name and he hates that it makes him not-belonging or that he feels like he doesn't even if he does with his siblings, and at the same time when the truth about it comes out he's going to get the cold shower of the century bc like - he's spent all that time thinking BUT DID MY MOTHER WANT ME WHO WAS MY MOTHER and he's going to find out of who it was and how he was born and honestly considering that lyanna most likely did regret running with rhaegar the moment he finds that out and that she died birthing him how is he going to feel? - also he spends his life wanting to live up to his 'father's' name aka ned aka someone known to be honorable to a fault and then it turns out his bio father is... the dude who started that entire rebellion not doing a very honorable thing? - also if jon*erys is a thing idt that he'd take 'I fell in love with my aunt' so nonchalantly as he did in the show tldr: he's never gonna get over his parental issues in a short time and when that particular brick hits him in the face it won't be pretty

like the entire point of jon is that he goes through all the chosenone™ cursus honorum as we'd call it in high school when studying latin but each step that means smth good for the usual chosenone™ to him is something bad, being one is not going to make his life better and throughout the entire thing he does not fit that stereotype when it comes to look, personality, basic traits and familial history and like hell he's going to have the happy ending tied up with the bow - like I think he gets a bittersweet one and eventually goes off with the wildlings bc he belongs there after being jon snow first of his name (bc like hell he's not reclaiming his bastard background at the end of this entire mess I'm eating my hat if he doesn't) after splitting the seven realms and fixing things but that's hardly the neat happy ending the chosenone™ usually gets so that's my two cents

... christ this was long *raises hands*

#jon snow #tagging for the lulz i guess #janie writes meta #ch: jon snow #long post for ts #tldr jon snow is a kurt cobain stan in disguise in westeros and chosenones™ aren't nirvana stan coded #and i'm dying on this hill xD

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tipsycad147 · 3 years ago

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Going to a faery festival? Costume tips and ideas

by Michelle Gruben

One of the best parts of attending any festival is putting together a killer outfit. Faeries especially love fashion, frivolity, and the art of disguise. But budget, weather, and travel concerns can have any faery feeling less than magickal. Costuming for outdoor festivals is challenging, but it’s worth it when you get to run around with other faeries in a beautiful natural setting.

Are you going to Faerieworlds? Glastonbury? Or another faery festival or Renaissance faire? Here’s some ideas to help plan the faery costume of your dreams.

Inspiration

Maybe you already know what kind of Fae you want to portray. A fairytale godmother with a giant updo and a poufy skirt? A lusty satyr with body paint and a loincloth? If you’ve already got the character idea in your head, start by drawing out a few quick sketches. (Don’t worry—you don’t have to show them to anyone.) Drafting out a plan will help you figure out what costume pieces you need to obtain. There’s no need to be too practical at this stage—let out your wildest ideas out on the page.

If you’re stumped, try looking at books, movies, and past festival photos for inspiration. Keep a folder of your favorite accessories and ideas. Borrowing like crazy is totally encouraged: Victorian, Gothic, Steampunk, Disney, Renaissance, Medieval, Lolita, D&D/LARP, Hippie, Psychedelic, Rave, Circus, Gypsy, Ballet, Carnivale, Tolkien and Tribal fashions have all had a notable influence on the garb that appears at Faery festivals. Look up any of these styles to uncover a wealth of inspiration--then combine at will!

Budget

In a perfect world, we faeries could just close our eyes, wiggle our nose, and (poof!) be transformed into a fantasy fashion plate. But we live in the (sigh) real world where money exists (and costumes cost a pile of it. A ready-made getup from a costume shop or clothier runs several hundred dollars or more, plus accessories. You gotta stay within your budget if you want to have any money left over for your ticket to the ball.

Fortunately, it is possible to put together a worthy costume without spending all the gold in Middle Earth. Faeries can be a scrappy lot, and nothing in the faery wardrobe need be shiny and new. What you do need is time. If you’re going to be scrounging, adapting, and making most of your costume, start early (like, several weeks before). Plus-size and teeny-tiny faeries may need even more time than that to find clothing in their size.

Thift stores and even your own closet can yield great base garments for your faery costume. Gypsy skirts, vests, sundresses, tunics and tights can all be easily modified or embellished. (Big tacky prom dresses are a great source for yards and yards of tulle!) Craft stores have fake flowers, ribbons, and feathers galore. Fabric scraps can be become appliques, junk jewelry can be taken apart and turned into faery bling.

It helps a lot if you can sew. If you can’t, take a class or have someone show you the basics. Faery sewing doesn’t have to be perfect—the messier, the better, really! But it sucks to have something fall apart the first time you wear it.

If you go the DIY route, be realistic. Some costume pieces take a lot of skill and are worth every penny. A circle skirt is relatively easy for a beginner to sew—a corset, not so much. It might be worth it to splurge on a purchase that will save you a giant headache. Plan ahead and build it into your figures—shopping at the last minute is a sure way to blow your budget.

Big multi-day festivals like Faerieworlds give you the opportunity to create multiple costumes and wear a different one each day. There are also various themed events (like Good Faeries/Bad Faeries). Obviously, this can get really expensive and cumbersome for travelers. A new hairpiece, overskirt, or bodice can freshen up yesterday’s costume (or last year’s) if a whole new outfit isn’t in the cards.

Transportation and Packing

While admiring your new 36” wings in the closet mirror, you realize that you have to get them to the festival. Oh crap. Make sure there’s enough room in your vehicle or luggage to bring the costume(s) you’re planning to wear.

Fabrics like rayon, silk, and cotton voile are wonderful for traveling faeries because they’re lightweight, compact, and wrinkle-resistant. With any luck, you can just shake them out upon arrival and be ready to go. But other accessories aren’t so forgiving. Pack flower wreaths and headdresses in boxes (if you can) to prevent crushing. Small wings can be folded and packed between two layers of stiff cardboard. A mesh cover is great for keeping wigs in line. One more tried-and-true faery travel rule: Anything with glitter gets its own bag.

Lost luggage is pretty rare on commercial flights, but of course that knowledge won’t help you when the airline loses the suitcase with your Swarovski-encrusted bodice. Valuable or irreplaceable costumes should be carried with you at all times.

Being Prepared

Outdoor festivals come with a special challenge for costumers: The weather. Over the years, Oregon’s Faerieworlds has been held in weekend-long rain, scorching sun, and plenty of fair-weather days.

You can’t exactly have a different costume for each weather possibility. But you can plan to dress in layers and still look the part. Toasty leggings and an elf cape are good things to have if the weather turns chill. A stylish parasol is handy if you’re not a dancing-in-the-rain type faery.

In addition to rain and wind, your costume will probably come into contact with the following: Sweat, perfume, sunscreen body paint, copious glitter, mud, sticky children, intoxicated adults, UV light, animals. Oh well. Your costume will definitely be tested for durability by the festival. So will your feet!

Live music and dance performances are a big part of many faery festivals, so don’t let your costume be a buzzkill. Accessories like stilts, oversized wings and headresses may block the view of the stage and keep you from dancing. Have a plan for ditching them so you can join the crowd, if you wish.

In case of an emergency, you should have a set of human clothes, too. (I know! Boo!) You can leave ‘em in your duffel bag until it’s time to go home.

Last-Minute Faeries

Okay, so not everyone is able to spend months planning a festival costume. If you’re down to the wire, but you still want to look faery-fabulous, there are options. Lots of stores have off-the-rack clothing that fits the general vibe: Sundresses, bohemian-style skirts, blouses, tunics and leggings. Top it off with a festive wreath or garland and you’ll be fit for the faire.

If you’re still feeling drab and human, try another accessory. A bright hair color, horns, mask or face paint can help transform you into a Fae creature. These things can almost always be found within the festival gates. In fact, if you’re truly strapped for time, you could do all your costume shopping at the festival—the vendors will thank you for it!

Have fun at the festival, and don't forget to take pictures!

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/going-to-a-faery-festival-costume-tips-and-ideas

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cross-d-a · 4 years ago

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fic tag game

aaahhh @vishcount thank you for tagging me!!! These are so fun and I adored reading about your fic journey~! ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ ❤

OH as a note!! For the ppl I tag at the end I don’t expect you to read all of this bc it’s A Lot!!! but I figured you might want to do this game yourself? haha :)

Name: cross-d-a shortened version of my first ever username. unfortunately stuck with it now haha but i’m fond of it :p wish it was cuter tho!!

Posting the rest of this under the cut so it doesn’t eat up people’s dashes!!

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Fandoms:

oKAY YIKES there are....honestly too many too name. I’ve got a short and obsessive attention span so it’s either all or nothing with me usually. When I can stay in a fandom for a long period of time it’s a miracle. I’ll name the bigger ones that I’ve all written fic for! Even if I’ve never posted them haha

Right now I’m very firmly into Daomu Biji (dmbj). It feels like it’s both got a crap ton of content and yet barely anything at all haha. Maybe because the English fandom is so small. But at least there are a bunch of dramas and books!!! I really, really, really adore dmbj so much!! And a large part of that is the fandom!!! It's been a really cool and unique experience! Everyone in it is truly so kind and wonderful, and I’ve made some really incredible friends because of it (looking at you vish!! ❤). I’ve got a bunch of wips, but I’ve only posted two fics for dmbj!

Before this I was very into Guardian and mdzs. MDZS was my first foray into cdramas and Guardian’s Zhu Yilong really suckered me into watching more haha I also have fics for both these fandoms!

My very first fandoms were Fullmetal Alchemist, D. Gray-Man and Naruto. My very old ffnet account has fics for these and I’ve got a bunch of newer wips on my tablet. Then Star Trek, Twilight, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Death Note, Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar the Last Airbender and Marvel were a few of my main ones in high school. Plus a bunch of anime (like Fruits Basket! and Kuroshitsuji and Natsume Yuujinchou).

Then college hit and I renewed my childhood love of Tolkien (mainly lotr and the Hobbit), and Star Wars. I also found Teen Wolf! Then after college it was Stranger Things.

I find myself in a cycle of mild fondness and complete obsession with these fandoms haha I go back to Star Wars at least once a year!! Then I’m in the gffa hole for a few months. Marvel also reoccurs, depending on how interested I am in new content! Star Trek I always always always go back to. TOS is my comfort show and it will never fade from my heart ❤

But for now I’m stuck in cdrama hell and I love it

Tropes:

Time travel, found family, whump+hurt/comfort, fairytale-like elements, resurrective immortality (thanks to a “Nine Lives” Hobbit fic), CROSSOVERS

I’m a slut for all these things so they often worm their way into my plots haha

I also just- love weird premises. I think that’s the anime influencing me haha

Fic I spent most time on:

My series he leaves sand and stardust in my wake (main fic is hurricane on the edge of oblivion), I have...spent five years on now. I have done so much research for this fic it’s insane.

The premise is force ghost!Obi-Wan getting shunted back into his tiny 10 year old self. I incorporate a shit ton of legends and I try to stay as canon as possible. I basically want this au to feel like it’s 1000% plausible while still getting all my gay shit. It’s chock full of whump, redemption, found family, minor characters turning into major characters, and I’ve got slavery uprising on the mind, too. It’s just- everything I could ever want to explore in the Star Wars universe basically.

It’s my first big project. I started doodling and scribbling ideas in the margins of my notebook in my Scottish History class. I adore it so so so much. But, because of my hyperfixation and fleeting intense obsession with things it makes it- really difficult to consistently update. I leave it for months at a time and I am constantly guilt-ridden about it. Because it’s my baby and I have a lot of wonderful readers. I fear I’ll never be able to finish it. Especially since I’ve written so much and I’m still only in the beginning of it. ( ; A ; )

Also, I’ve spent so much time with Xanatos, Feemor and Bruck that they just feel like mine now. I can’t read any fics that involve them, it’s too strange. Which is a damn shame because I love them so much haha OH ALSO!! I think it’s the first really big fic to include those three?? So I’m very proud about that haha (I’ve had so many ppl comment about how they actually Give A Shit about these three and are Invested bc of me haha)

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written:

hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go) (Star Wars)

My long-term passion project. My love-letter to Star Wars, I suppose. Reading it now I feel like a lot of it is clunky or long-winded, but I think it really shows the foundation of my writing today :) Main characters are Obi-Wan, Xanatos Du Crion, Qui-Gon Jinn, Bruck Chun and Feemor. Eventually we’ll get to Maul, Savage, Feral, Shmi Skywalker, (more!) Ahsoka, Anakin and a shit ton of clones ❤

things we hunger for (Guardian)

My Ye Zun self-indulgent fic. It’s a time travel amnesia Weilanzun! Honestly has some of my fav writing I’ve ever done. It’s so soft and really indulges in the hurt/comfort. It gives Ye Zun the friends and family I think he deserves. Also, he gets to grow into a (mostly!) functional person and I adore him.

the beast that slumbers within your soul (mdzs)

Jiang Cheng centric fic!! I feel like all my favourite fics I’ve written are love letters haha. This is one def my love letter to Jiang Cheng. This fic possessed me for two whole days. I wrote 16k in almost one sitting. I went to sleep at 6 in the morning bc I couldn’t stop writing. And when I drifted off I kept thinking of new ideas so I’d whip out my phone and write down lines and notes. I- have never ever ever felt that way about anything. It was- insane. It felt insane. It was so amazing. I’m still riding the memory of that high.

Basically Jiang Cheng actually finds Baoshan Sanren and it turns out she’s a fox demon and Jiang Cheng is descended from wolves. It’s- okay I said the fic above this had my favourite writing?? That was a lie. This has my favourite writing I’ve ever done. It’s unfinished bc I am in dmbj hell but I am still excited about the next chapter which features Wei Wuxian’s pov!!

the whispers of spirits (dmbj)

My current passion project. In a way it kinda feels similar to hurricane? Bc multiple povs, incorporating different aspects of canon (we’ll get there!! I promise!), shit ton of research, etc. etc. I really really really love it for so many reasons. I’m basically taking all the things I was unsatisfied with in Reboot and Sha Hai and running with it. Found family and whump galore! It’s also a love letter to the women of dmbj who really deserve so so so much better.

Honourable mention to:

One Day (you’ll have given more of yourself than is meant to be taken) (Marvel)

This fic also kinda possessed me. I just- couldn’t get rid of the idea of a trans!Thor. And I mean a mtf Thor! It’s just? So many people look at Thor and go “that’s a Real Man.” Full stop. They never think there could be anything more, and it really really really bothered me. So I wrote out my feelings. I’m not trans. I don’t have that experience at all. I’ve had issues and confusion about my gender but nothing like this. I just wanted to do justice to this idea of Thor in my head. And I still feel a bit nervous having posted it. But I've gotten so many comments from people who really connected with what I’ve written? So I’m very very thankful I wrote it and it has a very special place in my heart. It’s a very cathartic fic.

Fic I spent least time on:

Probably we rise (Star Wars) and I think it shows haha. I wrote it in response to Dave Filoni posting a drawing of Ahsoka and Gandalf telling her “People thought I was dead, too, and look how that turned out...” So I incorporated Ahsoka (and Din and Grogu and Ezra!!!) into the ending of Rise of Skywalker, kinda explaining how I think they could all still be alive. :)

Longest fic:

hurricane is my longest fic (159k) but I’m kinda worried whispers will eclipse that.....

Shortest fic:

Of my posted ones it’s The Five Moments it Took Tony and Scott to Admit They Were Best Friends (and the first time they ever did), currently clocks at 1.6k. It’s unfinished tho so maybe that doesn’t count.... otherwise it’s we rise which is completed and 2k.

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks:

hurricane overall has the most of all these. Though I don’t think hits counts as much bc it’s multi-chapter. If you discount multi-chapter stuff, most hits goes to my obikin smutfic Homecoming, bc people are horny af haha

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on:

If I had energy I’d like to rewrite the beginning of hurricane bc it feels so so wordy. I’d want to expand on One Day bc I really would like to write a whole series with trans!Thor. And like- I’d really like the focus to finish any of my WIPs.

Share a bit of a WIP: I really wanna share my Guardian/dmbj crossover that I started back in August. Bc I adore the idea of wu xie&shen wei&ye zun triplets! Plus time travel!!! I dunno if I’ll ever finish it tho ( ; A ; ) It just feels like a lot to deal with right now.

This scene takes place during the Mountain Awl arc. Guardian crew and desperado fam run across each other at the village! Wu Xie has recently found out that he’s adopted and he’s searching for answers in the area Sanshu originally found amnesiac!toddler!Wu Xie in :) Gonna pull two snippets bc I’m v excited and this might be the only time anyone else sees this fic haha:

“Oh?” Pangzi focuses on Yunlan now, lips twisting. “You think I’ve ‘got the wrong guy,’ huh?” He laughs, but it’s not a nice sound. “That’s rich! Are you that cocky or are you just stupid?”

Bristling, Yunlan drops his hands and scowls. “Excuse me?”

“Sir,” Shen Wei tries. “I think—”

Pangzi’s eyes snap back to Shen Wei, sharp and blazing. “How dare you fucking steal his face!”

What?

Automatically, Zhao Yunlan turns to Shen Wei, but the professor looks just as shell-shocked as Zhao Yunlan feels which- is seriously something. Since everything about Shen Wei is so carefully controlled, kept to the minimum. Except for those delightful little smiles that bloom across his lovely face, or the startled little bursts of laughter that fall from his lips. Or even when anger and frustration spark across his features, cracking his calm veneer open enough that he can see a glimmer of what lies beneath, the fire in those eyes. Zhao Yunlan delights in those moments, makes a game of making Shen Wei’s control slip.

He tells himself it’s nothing more than a game. Nothing more than trying to find out what makes Shen Wei tick.

Zhao Yunlan’s always been very bad at lying to himself. Or very good. Depending on who you’re asking.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Yunlan splutters.

But before anyone can say anything else, a very familiar voice calls:

“Pangzi? What’s wrong?”

Yunlan can feel Shen Wei stiffen, and Yunlan himself is pulled to that voice like a planet in orbit, like the inevitable plummet to the ground.

Another shadow wavers in the doorway before it steps out onto the dirt. Light illuminates shaggy hair, limning it gold, sharply casting everything else in shadow. But as the figure nears, the contrast softens until Yunlan can see the newcomer’s face properly and- and—

“Wu Xie!” Pangzi growls. “We’ve got ourselves an impostor!”

The man wearing Shen Wei’s face steps up to them, brows furrowed and mouth pulled down into a sharp frown. He glances between them, eyes landing on Shen Wei. His scowl deepens. He opens his mouth, but then—

“Wu Xie?” Shen Wei breathes, all trembly and lost and hopeless.

Heart in his throat, Yunlan turns to Shen Wei again. Turns and flinches at that stricken look upon Shen Wei’s pale pinched face.

“A-Xie?” Shen Wei chokes. “Didi?”

and

Pangzi snorts. “Professor?”

“I-it’s true!”

Startled Yunlan swings his attention over to Jiajia who clenches her backpack to her chest, face screwed up in admirable determination. “P-professor Shen took me and Xiao Quan on a field trip to investigate an archeological site around here!”

“Oh?” Wu Xie drawls all slow and amused. “Well, what a coincidence. We’re archeologists, too.”

“With guns?” Yunlan bites out.

Wu Xie raises a brow, grin full of teeth. “Well, you can never be too prepared.”

“Right,” Yunlan drawls right back. “Are you a professor, too, then? You come here with your students?”

Wu Xie outright grins. “You could say that, I suppose.”

Out of the corner of his eye, one of the men rolls his eyes. He’s the one with sharp features, glasses and looped earbuds. Does he think it’s appropriate to listen to music at a time like this? Yunlan admires the man’s gall.

aahhhh vish thanks so much again for tagging me!! This was so fun to relive my fic memories!! I’m gonna tag @alwaysaslutforshakespeare @jockvillagersonly @tehfanglyfish @lichelleme @undyingsunshine @humanlighthouse @thewindsofsong I’m curious about your guys’ writing and fandom journey!! As always, no pressure to actually complete this!! I just thought it was fun ❤

Wow if you read all of this I am very humbled and impressed, thank you!!

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

#cross talks #my fic #fanfiction #uhhh what else do i tag this as i dunno #about me #cross posts #wip fic

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deadmomjokes · 4 years ago

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For me, part of being asexual means that I get really, REALLY grouchy about a lot of romance in media. Rather, the obsession with romance, sex, and sexuality in media. I am that person that will roll my eyes and turn off a movie if it looks like it’s turning into some steamy nonsense, and I will never willingly sit through a romcom even if you paid me. Sex scenes? I’m out. Passionate kissing? Peace, I’m going to the kitchen, want anything? Call me back when the actual story gets back on. Ridiculous ‘ooh they have such SEXUAL TENSION and chemistry, let’s see how close we can get to making them kiss and just have them breathe heavily in each others faces to get our audience all bothered’? I will end you all. I HATE when books or movies or shows throw in a romantic or sexy subplot just for the lols, at least what I perceive as the lols. Basically, a romance has to be really super duper well-crafted for me to get behind it and not be just utterly enraged or completely turned off from the story.

(Also please note that when I use the term romance in this context, I’m using it as a catch all for ship-based storylines that, due to our culture’s obsession with sex, usually include or hinge on sex or kissy scenes.)

That being said. When a romance is done well, and I mean really well, I absolutely 100% lose my mind. I feel that mess in my soul.

So with that introduction, allow me to lay out a few of my favorite (and, in some instances, most maddeningly painful) romances/canon ships in media.

(read more because I went off. like I said, I feel this way too deeply when it’s done well.)

Winry Rockbell and Edward Elric in FMA:B. Slow burn, mutual pining, mutual cluelessness, what’s not to love? So soft and tender and funny all at the same time, and the mad respect Ed has for Winry is absolutely delightful. She does her own thing, and he’s totally supportive, just as she is of him. And a happily ever after??? UGH, I can’t, it’s perfect. The most straightforward and least convoluted of my whole list, and it’s comparatively easy to breeze through. FMA:B is great anyhow, so do yourself a favor and go watch it.

Audrey Parker/ Nathan Wuornos in Haven (with major caveats). Caveats first: they went overboard with the sexy stuff in my opinion. It got too smutty for me, but my tolerance for that stuff is super low, and it did still air on TV, so evidently it wasn’t as bad for the target audience as it was for my sex-in-media-repulsed self. I also find the final seasons to get a bit stale and repetitive in terms of them trying to advance the love story narrative (all the plot points for it got addressed in earlier episodes/seasons, so why are we going over it again??). They also have a bit of an issue in some episodes with dragging out conflicts because the characters just won’t talk to each other like adults. But overall, taken as a whole, it hits hard. Again, we have a slow burn, mutual pining dynamic that starts as a genuine platonic friendship, and transforms into a dimension and time defying chosen soulmates love story for the ages. The things they would do to save each other, even if it means they can never be together, just so they have the joy of knowing that their beloved is okay. The tiny ways they take care of each other- Audrey testing Nathan’s coffee to see if it’s too hot, Nathan slowing down so he doesn’t out-pace her, it’s just adorable.

Faramir and Eowyn in The Lord of the Rings BOOKS. This is an interesting one because it happens really quickly and between two minor characters. But Tolkien did this really interesting thing where he established these two characters separately, and then brought them together and played off what we knew about each of them in context of everything else that had happened with the main story, and suddenly it has, as one of my professors would say, “the illusion of depth.” Faramir absolutely falls head over heels for Eowyn but won’t act until she can deal with her own crap and be emotionally available. Eowyn realizes that she was hung up on ideals, illusions, and false dichotomies. Faramir has been through a lot and is looking for peace. Eowyn is looking for who she really is when she realizes she has more than two choices in life. They find healing together, and in the process, find what they were looking for in each other. And all that happens in the space of, like, 4 pages. I LOVE IT.

Sam Carter and Jack O’Neill in Stargate SG1. This one will hurt you to no end. You will hate life. But gosh dang if they aren’t perfect. This is the slowest burn and most mutual pining of all slow burn mutual pining ships to ever grace media. I’m talking 8 seasons of these two sharing feelings but being unable to express it for one reason or another. What are those reasons, you ask? Jack is her superior and respects her too much to put her in that position. No fraternization on the team. Sam has career aspirations, he won’t ruin her life. He’s got his own issues to work through and knows he isn’t emotionally available. Sam is clueless for a while, then when she realizes she has feelings for him but it couldn’t be because of their work dynamic and because he’s still dealing with his own crap, she tries to move on but keeps coming back to the unspoken fact that she still loves him. To the point that she breaks off her own engagement to a great guy because she realizes she was only trying to move on-- and wasn’t successful. They are clearly in deep for each other, and yet they keep making excuses why they can’t say it.

In the whole series, they never officially get together, and I HATE THAT. There are multiple alternate realities and timelines where they are together, and happy, but in the main timeline, they can’t get over themselves, and it hurts so bad because they’re so perfect. Jack knows she’s the smartest person in the room, and he supports her and defends her and listens to and defers to her. He respects her first as an expert, then as a colleague, and then as a woman whom he deeply loves even though he can’t find it in him to love himself. She appreciates his experience and leadership, and trusts him implicitly. She knows she’s got more book smarts, but relies on his judgement and ability to remain calm under pressure. She also knows she can be real with him, and he knows that when she calls him on his BS he better listen. She is his conscience, and he is her backbone. And in between episodes where they’re clearly pining for each other, and even during, they’re really great friends and a great team. I could seriously write an essay on why this ship is both perfect and intensely frustrating, but then again, you could just watch a great and classic series and see what I mean for yourself. (Then you’d also get to meet the perfection that is Teal’c, and watch Daniel Jackson’s transition from Milo Thatch in Space to sassy beefcake demigod who still loves archaeology.)

Beren and Luthien, Tolkien part 2, electric boogaloo. A love so powerful it transcends death, fate, hell and heaven all at once. It’s kind of wild and not what you’d expect if you’ve only read LotR (or only seen the movies), because it’s more a classic fairy tale than anything, but hot dang if it isn’t still one of the most powerful, moving, deeply impactful love stories in all of writing. It’s even a “love at first sight” narrative and I STILL fall hard for it. This story legit moves me to tears every dang time I read it, or even think about it too hard.

It starts as a simple “forbidden love” story, but these two loved each other so much that they defied one of the most powerful kings in all the world at that time (who was also Luthien’s dad, oopsies), defied Satan himself and marched into Hell just for the chance to be together, and then changed the very way the world works forever just so they could stay together and not be parted. Luthien is a total BEAST, while never giving up her gentle, loving, and tender nature. For the love of this man, she defies her father’s wishes and breaks herself out of her own dang tower to go rescue her prince instead of the other way round, she sends Sauron (yeah, he’s here too!) scurrying with his tail between his legs, wrecks his house, and frees all his slaves and prisoners just to try and get to Beren, drags his butt out of heck part 1, then willingly walks into literal, actual Hell with him and proceeds to enchant Satan and all the demons within. Then she gets her bf outta there after he loses his hand, and goes back to face her father unafraid. Basically, Beren undertakes a literally impossible task just for the chance to be with Luthien, but Luthien is the one that makes it happen because she loves him too much to sit around knowing he’s going to die. She’s willing to die with him rather than live without him, but more willing to dare death to come at her and get some because ain’t no way she’s losing him.

Then, at the last, when all should have been their happily ever after, everything goes wrong and she loses her beloved, and instead of mourning forever, she yeets off her mortal coil out of pure “Oh no you didn’t, not after all we went through” just to go stand before the God of Fate and the Dead and plead with him to change the rules of the universe itself just so that she can be with Beren. And he does it, because their love is so strong. Just for them, all of existence is rewritten so that they might never be parted.

And if you don’t think that’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard, consider also: these two crazy kids were so wonderful that the Goodest Boy in all the world, a functionally immortal and super-intelligent dog sent from heaven itself by a literal god, willingly turned on all his masters and spontaneously learned intelligent speech just so he could help them out and be their Good Boy til the bitter end, thus (in Tolkien’s mythos) starting the whole “man’s best friend” thing with dogs. So yeah. And, uh, Tolkien based it on him and his wife, to the point of ripping their first meeting frame-for-frame from real life. It’s too much y’all.

Anyhow, this post is way, way too long, but I was just feeling the need to get that out there. Maybe I’ll have more in the future, but for now, this is what was on my mind. Particularly the last two.

#long post #romance #asexual #stargate sg1 #haven #fmab #tolkien #lotr

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taule · 5 years ago

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Hope you feel better 😊. I wanted to ask what your favorite music and novels are. And of course films, besides LOTR lol. I'm actually excited about The Green Knight movie. I saw the trailer and got excited. I've always been in love with Arthurian novels and poems. I hope this year has great movies and shows with better endings. I'm tired of redemption = death and just death for shock value. Here's to hoping.. - Mel

Thank you. I am starting to feel better. Sorry for the late reply though. I guess it would have taken me some time to answer this even without the other things.

I am also supremely tired of seeing things which are made by entitled, unoriginal and uninspired creators such as D&D and JJ Abrams. I’m tired of all this subverting expectations crap and these men trying to pass their own lack of imagination off as giving the audience something “new”. Nobody asked for this shit. Myths that are as old as humanity itself don’t need some asshat trying to “reinvent” it for the modern audience when said myth speaks to something at the core of human psychology and has survived “modern times” intact for the past 5000 years.

Uh. Anyway. Things I like…

I have to say, I’m an inconsistent, but methodical reader. I find that even the reading I do for myself is often research-like. Such as me having read everything ever written about Maul that has been published by any entity associated with Lucasfilm or going through any and all mentions of orcs ever published relating to Tolkien.

I am trying to read more novels but somehow still end up reading non-fiction most of the time (if you want my recommendations, that will be a different list). And the fiction I do read outside of Tolkien isn’t necessarily novels. More and more I feel like it isn’t always being published on paper that gives something legitimacy. So honestly the fiction I’ve enjoyed most in the past couple of years is found on AO3. I’ve also consistently liked Murakami. Especially his short stories.

Currently on my reading list: more non-fiction, all of The History of Middle-Earth by Christopher Tolkien (parts of which I’ve already read), more Tolkien (mostly rereading), Dune by Frank Herbert, more fics. I’m also on the lookout for good Monster Romance books. Especially ones in which the ‘monster’ doesn’t turn into a prince.

As for films I hold dear to my heart… like with books, there’s LOTR and Harry Potter of course. And this might be an unpopular opinion, but I also like The Hobbit. There is a lot that could have been different, but I can accept it for what it is. And it also gave me Azog so…

Reading The Hobbit in English especially made me realize how difficult it is to turn into a coherent film. One major complaint is that it’s not enough material to turn into more than one film, much less 3. But if you look at how it’s written it skips over a lot. Now they’re here, and now they’re there. But you can’t make a decent film cutting from one scene to another one which might be days, if not weeks or months apart. And most people seem to forget that most dwarves have literally no dialogue. Ah, sorry for the tangent.

So, films… The Great Beauty, The Shape of Water, Hero (2002), Perfume, Cidade de Deus, Pan’s Labyrinth, Amelie, Baraka, Koyaanisqatsi, Moonlight, Life of Pi. To name a few. I also unironically like The Mummy. I think there’s a pattern there. There’s a lot of films and it would be a long list to just name recommendations, but I think what is important to me is the trace they leave behind when I’m done watching.

I think the music question is the hardest to answer. My taste is at the same time wide-ranging but very specific. There are things I always come back to and then stuff that holds my attention for a short while. I think it’s easier to just make a playlist, which I think I will do.

#maeself #personal

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dukeofriven · 6 years ago

Photo

[Note: this post originally appeared in this thread. Owning to Tumblr’s inability to update reblogs with edits because it is a hellsite programmed by a secretive cell of former Stasi operatives to avenge the fall of East Germany, it has thus been re-edited and reformatted here for your reading pleasure.] JK Rowling’s wizards are the most useless, lazy, incapable dumbfucks in the history of fiction. The average Muggle? You take away their technology and they would be able to complete the basic tasks of feeding and clothing themselves without shitting on the floor. If a wizard ever lost their magic in Harry Potter, though, they would die. They’d be dead in three days. They’re garbage and I hate that I’ve come to hate Harry Potter - a series I once loved - because an author inexplicably hailed for her world-building is daily revealed to be appallingly bad at it. I realize this is a really dumb thing to be this angry about but I’ve been told for years what a great world-builder J.K. Rowling is, and that was not even true when the books were coming out. The Time Turner ruined all of Harry Potter forever, not because it offers easy time travel you can hold in your hand (although it does), not because you ask ‘why don’t they just use the time turner’ with every subsequent scenario forever (although you do), but because it was an enormous, flashing red light warning everyone that the series was going to attempt to make the transition from Fairy Tale Logic to Serious Fiction logic and fail. Badly. Really, really badly. I still think Harry Potter & The Philosopher’s Stone is an almost perfect book: a distillation of decades of boarding school genre fiction combined with magic, friendship, and wonder. It is a book that owes as much to Enid Blyton and L.M. Boston as it does to C.S. Lewis or T.H. White and other authors with two first initials. Its sense of place is magisterial, from the frumpy, soul-crushing suburban sadness of Privet Drive to the ephemeral curio-shop wonderland of Diagon Alley to Hogwarts itself, a bastion of astonishment, homeliness, and delight. What it isn’t is the sort of framework on which you can support the horror that is the torture and murder of Charity Burbage in front of her colleague Severus Snape, who could not rescue her because he could not break his deep cover as a spy against Wizard Hitler 2. Long-running series can experience changes of tone and complexity. This is neither something laudable nor worth reviling; it’s a neutral phenomenon. Sometimes series do it well: Susan Cooper’s The Dark Is Rising and Terry Pratchett’s Discworld are both series that by-and-large end with books focused on far more complex issues than their earlier entries. TV series do this too: contrast the early episodes of Steven Universe or Adventure Time with episodes from later seasons. With Adventure Time, for example, trying jumping from the pilot to Remember You and see how hard you get tonal whiplash) Lois McMaster Bujold sublime space opera The Vorkosigan Saga doesn’t just change tones but also genre: space adventure, murder mystery, political thriller, goofy regency romance, comedy of errors, heist movie, schizoid identity crisis - on and on. The latest entry in the series has almost no plot to speak of, but is instead a musing on age, gender roles, grieving the loss of a lover, and the hope of new life. Some series, however, manage the transition poorly, largely because the initial tone cannot be harmonized with the later tone (Mass Effect jumps immediately to mind). But Harry Potter has more than just a problem of its tone getting darker: its trying to have darker events fit in the same world in which people can walk around with names like ‘Mundungus,’ the Hogwarts school song can be a nonsense poem, and the Philosopher’s Stone was defended with a series of video game puzzles. In a world in which the villain openly tortures somebody to death, the Philosopher’s Stone shouldn’t have any whimisical bullshit about its magical defences: it should have trip mines in the floor and an enchanted statue with a gun, because Voldermort isn’t a guy you confound with drinking potions and flying keys. You should just kill him. The charming fairy world of wonder of HP & The Philosopher’s Stone has room for a love potion. The later books, in which it is revealed that Voldemort was essentially born from rape, is not place where Ron Weasley can hand-out a book to Harry called Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches without seeming like a predator in the making. The cradle that is The Philosopher’s Stone cannot hold a beastly baby like Deathly Hallows any more than Grindlewald pontificating about the superiority of wizards can sit comfortably in a universe in which wizards took until the 18th century to accept the outhouse! Not that fascist ravings are inherently logical; but even non-fascists in Harry Potter never act like wizards are anything other than 100% better than muggles at all times. They can’t, because if the series were ever to do that it would have to acknowledge that the two worlds are different: neither better, just different. Instead - well, as Ron once bitched, magic makes coffee perfect every time, so it’s not clear how muggles stand being alive and don’t just roll-over and die from the hellacious half-life that is living with imperfect coffee. This has nothing to do with irony, a suggestion that ‘oh Grindewald talks a big game about wizardly superiority but wizards didn’t use toilets and cal themselves goofy names like Flumpus MacFludgeon: Rowling is using dramatic ironic to lampshade how wizard supremacy lacks self-awareness. No: this is about a world that is silly being asked to host a genocidal dictator and his crimes. It’s like those tedious ‘grimdark’ AUs that always show up in bad fanfiction by authors attempting to be serious: what if the Sesame Street gang had to deal with ICE, what if Po started haemoraging while hanging-out with Laa-Laa, what if Peppa Pig learned that she was adopted and her real parents were brutally murdered as part of gang war because they were heroin dealers and so on. (The best skewering of this edgelord comedy is still probably either Andrew Hussie’s Muppet Babies/Saw comic or any encounters the Shortpacked staff ever had with the Transformers: Buckets of Blood guy.) In Harry Potter, Rowling built a wonderful little fantasy world that ran happily on the logic of fairy tales and fairy stories, and then decided she was never going to be taken seriously as an author unless she introduced Hitler to the equation. And it never works for her. It’s not like it couldn’t have worked. The Lord of the Rings is famously a very different book from The Hobbit. It did, in fact, introduce Hitler into a little fantasy world but Tolkien made it work by abandoning huge portions of the Hobbit’s tone, style, and structure: he wrote a completely different book. Frodo isn’t scarfing-down Bertie Bott’s Every Flavoured Beans on the slopes of Mount Doom. The moment, say, Cedric Diggory lay dead in Harry’s arms, we needed to never meet Mundungus Fletcher ever again, or Weasley’s Gooftacular Prank Nonsense, or Ron getting Harry a book about love spells. All the very least that needed to go away, at least until the very end, because Rowling is not an author with the skill to keep the silly and the sublime on the same page. That’s fine in and of itself: all artistic people have strengths and weakness, nobody is skilled at every element of creation. J.M. Barrie was very good at writing a book about an eternal child, but a bit crap at writing a biography about his mother. Arthur Sullivan spent his life quietly seething no one wanted to listen to Ivanhoe instead of The Mikado. There’s a reason Jerry Lewis never released The Day the Clown Cried. Virginia Wolfe is a great writer, but that doesn’t mean she would have written a great run on She-Hulk. [Although now that I’ve said it I can’t think of anything I want to read more.] There’s a great bit in the Lord of Rings after the Shire has been scoured of Saruman where the Hobbits essentially open-up their larders and allow people to have fun again; there’s also a nice bit slightly earlier where Great King Aragorn puts on his old Strider clothes just so he can be his D&D character again: when series change tone, unless you’re really good at walking on a knife’s edge, the quieter, gentler, lighter world isn’t gone forever, but it does have to go away for a while: which means its time to tamp-down on the people with silly names and personalities - like Slughorn, who slips into book six like the second-coming of the vain and silly Lockhart, even though that’s the book where Dumbledore dies.

Rowling keeps trying to makes her old tone fit with her new world without having to pull a Tolkien and actually write differently, which produces moment after moment of tonal whiplash in which the latest Potter-related movie literally involves referencing the holocaust but she also drops some fun trivia about wizards shitting on the floor like animals. (You could describe the entirety of the first Fantastic Beasts film as Tonal Whiplash: The Motion Picture. I’d say that’s an essay for another day but I do not want to have to watch that movie again.)

It needs to be said that a primary reason these tone shifts ‘don’t work’ for Harry Potter is that the logic of a fairy tale is different than the logic of a mundane story. The logic of a fairy tale tends to be self contained: it doesn’t have a smart ass running around asking questions like ‘why’ because there is no why; a thing is the way it is because it is the way it is. Fairies steal babies on the third Sunday of every month, and nobody in the story asks ‘well what about in countries that use different calendars, and what about the shift from Julian to the Gregorian calendar that skipped eleven days?’ because such a pedantic question has no substance in a fairy-tale world. The Clever Child might question what the fairies need with babies, but she’s not about to break-down the week-to-week investment metrics on the Fairyland Infant Exchange. It’s not that one cannot critique or bring critical thinking to fairy stories; it’s that in a fairy story you don’t ask how the sewer system works because it’s not pertinent to what the story is trying to convey. It’s being the guy at the book club who is mad nobody wants to discuss his theories on the music of Rush: its not that the theories are bad, it’s that in this time and place they are of limited relevance. Harry Potter, however, does not belong to to the world of fairy stories, but to the legacy of Tolkienesque fantasy - the world of

In The Hobbit nobody would ever ask if Hobbiton had sewers - it’s not important, and if you ask those kind of questions expecting there to be a serious answer of grave import you’re being a twit. Lord of the Rings, though? Not only is it a valid question, but Tolkien probably wrote a paper explaining the etymology of the Westron word for ‘sewer’ and how sewers were first invented by Shítlívær the Noldor as a way of helping the Blessed Isles cope with all the crap that tumbled out of Fëanor’s mouth.

The world of The Hobbit is one you could enter and expect to quickly find yourself on an adventure. The world of The Lord of The Rings is one you could enter, walk-about, and study without anyone ever exepecting you to solve some sort of regionally-disturbing social problem: in short, it wants you to be invested in the existence of its world in a different way than The Hobbit. Even then, although The Lord of the Rings is more grounded than The Hobbit, it is not so grounded that it doesn’t leave room for mystery, and questions that refute Wittgenstein’s assertion that all questions must be answerable. Tolkien loved to create complex worlds, but there was stuff he knew wasn’t worth elaborating on. It’s really his fans and authorial heirs who developed the somewhat worrying belief that a good worldbuilder has to have an answer to literally every question or else didn’t think their world through. (This has killed more potentially good books than bad cover art ever has.)

The Lord of the Rings leaves room for The Undiscovered Country. Harry Potter wants too… but can’t. Firstly, Rowling obviously understands the need for what we might call poetic mystery - like the gateway in the somewhat unsubtly name Department of Mysteries - but she also wants you to know how wizards pooped three hundred years ago. You get the feeling she knows exactly how and why that gate works, and what it is, but she withheld the knowledge because she likes mystery’s aesthetic more than she ascribes to any idea that an author might have lacunæ in the knowledge of their own work. That is, she would never put something into her work that she didn’t have an answer for - for her there is no undiscovered country that exists beyond the knowledge of even the author; she is an omniscient deity. Not for her is C.S. Lewis’ insistence that for her characters: All their life in this world and all their adventures had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before. Rowling knows exactly what happens to every one of them from the moment they were born to the moment the rot in the ground and the day-to-day schedules of their lives in heaven. Secondly - and far more of an issue - is that Harry Potter becomes a world that invites you to pick up each part of its structure and think about it, because the author has - with loving care - built that entire world for you to interact with. A place for everything, and everything its place. Except JK Rowling is a lazy thinker who never, ever considers the consequences of anything she says. Nagini is actually an Asian woman cursed to live as a snake, wizards used to magically disappear their shit from wherever they just stood and shat it out, Hermione Granger can have a time travel device to attended a bunch of classes but Harry can’t grab one off a nearby shelf and go back fifteen minutes and save his godfather, and nor a few years later can the Minister for Magic’s protection detail keep them on hand to go back half an hour and tell their past selves ‘Hey Voldemort is about to walk in here and kill y’all thought you ought to know.’ No author can work-out every aspect of every element in their works - that’s impossible, and why ARGs are solved by the internet hivemind in half a day even though they took a far smaller group of minds months to devise. But Rowling is intellectually lazy - she adds the holocaust to her Magic Fun Land without sparing a single moment to think that idea through. She then gets defensive when confronted by the suggestion that her worldbuilding might have been shallow. Hey your American wizard houses seem a bit racist also America doesn’t really use the house system in its schools - and her response was to lash out and not listen. Rowling tried to move Potter from a fairy logic world with its own rules into our world with our rules and our history but she doesn’t know our history very well, or even our rules, so she tells us wizards shat on the floor until the 18th century while the rest of us sit around going ‘but humans have never done that as social groups - even in horrible slums and facility-free prison cells humans create a designated place for taking a shit even if it’s just ‘that corner over there.’ We don’t just drop pants and go whenever!” This is because, as a worldbuilder, J.K. Rowling is actually kind of rubbish.

#Tumblr #J.K. Rowling #Harry Potter #Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone #wizards #muggles #the wizarding world #Charity Burbage #Severus Snape #Voldemort #shit #time turner #Enid Blyton #L.M. Boston #C.S. Lewis #Hogwarts #long post

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unknown-de-mordor-blog · 6 years ago

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The Dark-Lord Family, A.K.A. My Top 5 Favourite Villains

Melkor/Morgoth + Mairon/Sauron -- The Lord of the Rings+The Silmarillion

I know that’s two, but don’t make me separate them. I will not separate them.

They’re actually going to be the odd one out in this list because the rest are from anime/manga, but that’s because back when I was in middle school, I found villains from fantasy stories boring af and the notion that something external is the source of evil is just lazy. (Also because my obnoxious middle-school brain just went ‘Argh, blaming other people for your problems is soooo immature’ and shut down.) Arguably, I wasn’t well-versed in those kinds of literature, and stuff I did choose to read from that side of the globe don’t have villains in them.

And that’s kind of why these two makes the list -- they are more properly constructed than other dark lords that I know of. Yes, they serve as the personification of evil, but Tolkien also treated them as characters. They have reasons for becoming what they’ve become. And even though they are depicted as the epicentre of evil and destruction, evil isn’t actually their domain. Tolkien was pretty clear about that in his writing because he also examined and, to some degree, deconstructed evil in his universe. The Feanorians are chief examples of that. Turin is not really off the hook with some of his bad life choices (and I don’t mean marrying his sister; when intent in factored in, that’s actually not the worst Turin had done). And don’t get me started on how much I loathe Denethor.

In a way, I found Tolkien depiction of dark lords rather subversive. Having a dark lord really plays into a primal psychology that wants to blame the ill of the world to someone: capitalism, communism, Hitler, Stalin, Baby boomers, Millenials, the Jews, the Muslims, the conservative Christians, the patriarchy, cis white (American) males. But in the deconstruction of the dark lords, he was also saying, really, that evil without comes from the evil within and it’s complicated because evil is a part of nature. It doesn’t come from a box, an apple, a fallen angel, or a rebellious servant of God. And to win against the evil without, you have to fight the evil within. And that’s why Frodo is still one of my greatest heroes. He really did take the hardest job in the book, and I’m not talking about walking into Mordor.

Hao Asakura-- Shaman King (manga, not the anime)

Also known to me and my best friend as “Melkor and Sauron’s lovechild” because his character has things that reminded us of Melkor and Sauron. Hao is a personification of evil and destruction. His main power is Fire, and I’m capitalizing here because the spirit that is his main source of power is called the Spirit of Fire and it’s huge, like balrog huge.

But unlike with Melkor and Sauron, we got to hear directly from Hao why he thinks the destruction of humanity is a good idea. As it turns out, Hao actually has a shit-list on humanity collected over the last thousand years, and we look horrendous on it. It’s hard to argue that we are not cancerous, narrow-minded, selfish bunch of crap who frequently gives into the tendency to destroy each other and is going to destroy this one planet we have and take every other species who had not done any shit to deserve this with it. So, yes, Hao was saying, ‘I’m the necessary evil because you all are shitheads’. And he’s right. In some ways, he’s even more right now than he was back in the 90s.

But you might say that’s one particular lens of interpreting our complex and problematic (as in difficult) legacy. We’re not all bad! Well, true, but us doing good does not in anyway erase the fact that we’ve done some really shitty things as well. That’s why as extreme as Hao’s position might be, he’s about as logically wrong as saying we should keep humanity because we have done some nice things.

And the greatest thing in Shaman King to me is that Hiroyuki never went down that route of that oversimplified counter-argument. He actually had Yoh -- our hero, the personification of good, and Hao’s twin brother -- admitted to not liking human either. In fact, Yoh was the one most sympathetic to Hao’s position even though he disagreed that destroying humanity would solve any of Hao’s problems.

And Hao’s biggest problem was that he was isolated, dehumanized, and betrayed over such a long time that he lost the ability to trust and to love. And as time progressed and Hao becomes more powerful, you can even argue that he lost the ability to love himself. When Hao became God, he isolated himself from other souls, pushing even his most loyal followers away by displays worthy of an evil dark lord when they in fact contradicts how he had always treated them-- with kindness and understanding that they never received from others.

But that tactic wasn’t going to work on Yoh’s watch. The guy basically threw the biggest spirit party ever, invited everyone who ever crossed path with Hao, and gave the man the biggest metaphorical group hug. There were some stern talks about his past behaviour and ambitions, but all in all, everyone acknowledged that he was a person -- complicated and damaged but still a person worthy of friendship and love and loyalty. And after all the embarrassing reunion, including being enthusiastically called ‘nii-chan’ (that’s a cute way of calling someone ‘big-bro’) by his supposed mortal enemy and twin brother, Hao just kind of went ‘Fine! I warned you Earth sucks with humans on it, but if you want to make it better so much then go do it. I’ll watch you try!’

So, yep, that’s how you literally prevent apocalypse with the power of love. I wish more heroes adopt this strategy.

^Hao as God Almighty from the sequel to Shaman King. Art by Takei Hiroyuki. This is to say that Hao is also a crazy cat-person.

Gabriel -- Daemon Hunters

Speaking of gods, here’s another god you should not mess with. I have to admit that this guy scares the living daylight out of me. And it’s not because he’s evil or cruel or twisted. Gabriel is... nothing. Really nothing. He was born out of an experiment to create a living god. And when knowledge and power are chosen over compassion, this is the destructive result.

Gabriel was born more powerful than anything under the sky. And he knew everything -- past, present, and future. He looked into a person’s eyes and he knew the life that was and the life that still to come. Except for one thing, one moment at the end of the world when he would meet a creature more powerful than himself, a creature that knew the answer to one last question Gabriel did not: why was he alive?

And for that answer, Gabriel would do anything -- kill people, play with their minds, break their souls, wipe out an entire city or country. Literally, nothing was off-limits. And he was like a force of nature. You couldn’t negotiate or bargain with this guy because he didn’t care about puny little humans with puny little minds. He’s looking for an answer, and nothing was going to stop him.

So yeah, evil is not scary at all in my book. The insatiable thirst that knows no love? Yeah, totally.

^The entire internet seriously just have this one picture of Gabriel. The sorrow of being in a non-existing fandom, I supposed.

Sebastian Michaelis -- Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji

Technically speaking, Sebastian is not a villain. He’s one of the two protagonists of Kuroshitsuji -- the other being my beloved anti-hero Ciel Phantomhive -- but considering that Sebastian (i) is a demon (ii) is after Ciel’s soul (iii) loves leading my dear boy astray, I count him as one.

Being treated in the narrative as one of the main characters is probably why he’s the most relatable on the list. Even though he’s a demon, he’s not treated as a personification of evil, just a corrupted creature serving as a vehicle for his master’s ambitions who likes to have fun along the way. That is not to say he’s not bad. He totally is. He would tear people to pieces as he kills them. He likes mind games and has no qualm manipulating people to get what he wants.

But the thing is, humans do that, too. Sebastian’s corruptness is not exceptional in anyway. We like to think we know what is right and wrong, but do we? We think we have made the best choices out of the goodness of our hearts, but were they, really? The matter of fact is a lot of our decisions are lazy, selfish, or just meanness dressed up as something else. There are moments when Sebastian demon’s ‘aesthetics’ seems more morally sound than the morality of a human being. And that’s kind of the theme of the series -- that the evil within clad in self-righteousness, desperation, and elitism can be more reprehensible than the evil without.

^Art by Yana Toboso. I feel compelled to mention that Sebastian is also a crazy cat-person.

Johan Liebert -- Monster

To me, there is rarely a personification of evil more terrifying and a deconstruction more nuanced and heartbreaking than that in Naoki Urasawa’s Monster.

And it’s not even his best work! It was his first work in psychological thriller, so you can kind of see him working out how to do thriller and play with with characters’ psychology on the go. And the psyche that governs the entire story is that of Johan Liebert -- arch-villain, evil-incarnate, the new Napoleon of Crime. He rarely made any appearance in the story, but every time he did, I literally wanted to hyperventilate.

But really, setting Johan up that way was kind of a red-herring on Urasawa’s part, a good red-herring, too, because he was giving what Tolkien gave us in Middle-earth -- a personification of evil, someone we can point the finger to and blame for all the wrong in the world. And Johan played the dark lord to the tee.

Except then Urasawa slowly pulled the rug from under us. Little by little, as Dr. Kenzou Tenma, our personification of good, uncovered Johan’s past, we come to realize that there were other evil that made Johan. But then when Dr. Tenma approached those people, the big-bads dwindled into an old deluded man, a woman hunted, a mad scientist trying to repent his sin -- people after people who had made a decision based on their beliefs and made the wrong one.

I think what made Monster so powerful is how it uses Johan as the focal point to deconstruct evil down to its origin, to the fact that there is no other evil in the world than us. The evil without really is just a manifest of the evil within, and that little moments where we might have let it win could snowball into something monumentally terrifying.

But Urasawa’s view of human nature is not all doom and gloom. Yes, we’re at times wretched and wicked, but we can be better when we choose to be. And that idea is actually what Dr. Tenma represents. Tenma didn’t start out being good. He lied about his history. He was motivated by reputation and ego rather than the well-being of his patients. He had to be confronted by the consequence of his decisions and have his entire world crashing down to the ground to find the path to being good. And after that, it still wasn’t easy, as trying to be good in a world full of shitty people often is.

But things had changed for him, and I think that’s why he thought Johan could, too. That’s why he could never shoot even though Johan let him.

So, is Johan evil? My answer is yes. After all, he had done grave wrongs to people knowingly. But could he turn from the path of evil? Well, I think the more appropriate question is, have you?

^Original design by Naoki Urasawa. I was once terrified of blue eyes because of this man.

#my post #my celebration of complicated villains #tolkien verse #melkor #morgoth #mairon #sauron #shaman king #hiroyuki takei #asakura hao #daemon hunters #seiuchiroh todono #gabriel #black butler #kuroshitsuji #sebastian michaelis #monster #urasawa naoki #johan liebert

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omg-kat · 7 years ago

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25 Questions Tag

Thanks for tagging me @el-norawrites !!! ♥♥

1. Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I don’t update Eight. Sideways. as much as I should D:

2. What work of yours, if any, are you embarrassed about existing?

Uh... yes. That’s all you get lol

3. What order do you write in? Front of book to back? Chronological? Favorite scenes first? Something else?

l generally plan things in order but I get ideas for things for later on so I copy those ideas down and plug them in when I get there. As far as writing goes, I have to go from the beginning, honestly. Too many things change as I’m writing for me to write future scenes.

4. Favorite character you’ve written?

Denne and the best part is that she’s SUPPOSED to be awesome, so I get to put all of the best traits into her character. She’s just so fucking cool.

5. Character you were most surprised to end up writing?

I can’t say the name because it’s supposed to be a surprise -- I’ve always loved a good tsundere (kinda like Zuko) and I never thought I’d get the opportunity to write one with such an interesting personality. I can’t wait for you to guys to meet this character, hate them, and then eventually realize that you’ve been falling in love with them the whole time :)

6. Something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Never too late baby! That’s how I write anyway; first you build the skeleton. Then you go back and add some organs and muscles and fat. Then you go back again and you’re like “omg if I add some skin and eyes and hair I’ve actually proven that god exists and it is me. wow”

7. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

Depends on who it is. Mostly I’m proud but I also don’t want to be “that person” who talks about their novel all the time lol

8. Favorite genre to write

fantasy is fun because I can do whatever I want :D

9. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

literally everything.

10. Write in silence or with background music? Alone or with others?

Music, and maybe a few people. Sometimes I’m in the mood for silence, though.

11. What aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

All of it? It’s crazy to read the stuff I wrote when I was 19 holy crap. It was good but now I’m... better?! whoa when did that happen???

12. Your weaknesses as an author?

The millions of ways to say one thing and for some reason I have to try ALL OF THEM OUT until I hit the perfect one lol It gets tedius

13. Your strengths as an author?

Naming characters, worldbuilding, mythos, emotion, getting better at pacing too!

14. Do you make playlists for your work?

No my dudes I listen to LoFi hiphop radio 24/7 or some sort of vaporwave radio station lol It’s just really easy to write to

15. Why did you start writing?

I hate speaking. I never feel like I’m being clear enough, like nobody understands what I’m trying to say. But when I write, people just GET it. It comes naturally for me. I feel most understood when I write something out, rather than trying to verbalize it. That feels amazing.

16. Are there any characters who haunt you?

As far as cringy shit, yeah probably earlier works about Pandora. she was pretty problematic lol Like me, though, she grew and learned and now she’s not so problematic anymore so I guess she doesn’t really haunt me...

17. If you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

holy crap, keep writing it’s awesome. you have no idea how much better you get just by writing as much as possible. ♥

18. Were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? What were they?

Like J. R. R. Tolkien, I’m going to describe the FUCK out of this mountain AND YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT GOD DAMNIT

19. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

My google drive and I hope that never comes back to bite me in the ass omg :(

20. Do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Both, just depends on how I’m feeling or what I’m up to that day

21. What do you think when you read over your older work?

Your heart was in the right place, kiddo. I like your moxie ♥

22. Are there subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

I can’t and will never write about rape. It’s just not a subject I’ll do.

23. Any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

I’m a barista and Mica was a bartender and I like to say barista and bartenders are like flavor engineers lol

24. Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

I guess I know more about MMA fighters and fighting styles now XD

25. Copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of.

Am I floating?

Mica felt herself spreading, flowing, souring. Bliss. She had never felt so free before. The void called to her. She tried to reach out towards it, but the weightlessness was fading. A different force was pushing her away now, too strong for her to fight. The pressure shoved her downward. Physical sensations began creeping back, but this time the pain was gone, replaced with strange cramped feeling, like putting on shoes someone else has worn in. It fit, but not in the right places.

Awwwww yiss I’m gonna tag @adorhauer my tag game buddy ♥ and @youdontneedoxegyntoburn I’m gonna tag you again too XD

#tags #tag game tuesday #tag games #wow that was fun actually omg #afternoon bbqueue

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padfootagain · 4 years ago

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My favorite films are "The Shawshank redemption", "Casablanca", "12 angry men" and the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy (which I count as a 9 hour movie). Although it is fair to say that the common denominator between these movies is the general lack of female characters with agency (except for Eowyn and Ilsa during like the first half of the movie), to me the thing that they have in common is hope. (1/2)

All of those stories present an imperfect (sometimes straight up shitty) world, and all of those stories end with the message "it might be crap, but it can also be made better if we try". That's a message that's very important for me, one that even guides the way I live my life. What I'm trying to ask with this extremely long rant is: what are your favorite movies, what thing(s) do they have in common and what do you believe they say about you as a person? (2/2)

Hello anon!!! Thank you so much for stopping by!!!

I have to admit that I have not watched the shawshank redemption nor 12 angry men. I did watch Casablanca (a long time ago, like... I'd say 5 years ago) so my memories of it are a bit blur. I do remember that I didn't like it though 😅. I remember ending the movie with the thought 'okay, all this for just that'. But perhaps it's just because the movie was so hyped by critics and I was expecting something very different. I don't remember the ending being hopeful though... so if you'd like we can talk more about that.

Concerning LotR... well... I'll be answering your question now, cause this is my favourite movie (I also consider the three like just one very long movie 😅). I think it's also because I had a few rough years through high school and these movies (and books) helped me get through it, so I have a personal attachment to them. And the world building is just ***chef's kiss***. It's so complex... and I don't know if you've read the Silmarillon but the lore in this universe is just insane. Also, I love how layered the whole story is. Because you can indeed, as you said, see a message of hope, which is I reckon the main message with the idea that the world doesn't need one big hero to be saved but the quieter daily kindness of regular people. And I love that trope so much. But with a little bit of digging, it's actually quite easy to see other themes developed like ecology, ptsd and trauma, industrialisation, feminism, and all in all a critic of warfare, that most people don't really spot at the first watch or in the first read.

My love for tolkien's work is endless, and... I mean... I did learn English just to be able to watch the movies in their original language and read the books in Tolkien's tongue so... yeah, I love these so much and no movie or book will ever top them for me 😅

There are many other movies that I adore, but lotr is just... so much above everything else, it wouldn't be fair to add any other to this answer 😂 I think it tells that... I like complex stories and I have a wide imagination. I also like my happy ending. And all the movies I really love have that in common. I don't like sad endings. Of all the movies I like most, lotr probably has the saddest one, when it's still a happy ending, when you think about it. Frodo finds his peace by leaving. The rest of the Fellowship, at the bitter exception of Boromir, are all alive and well and live to have long and happy lives. I firmly believe that if this story had been written today, many of the characters we follow in the book would have died. Because it seems trendy almost, these days, to end a story bitterly, or to kill the lead character's best friend because 'it makes it more realistic'. But Tolkien didn't write it like that, because he believed in happy endings. I've forgotten the term he invented for the idea that after hitting rock-bottom, a story should always show that there is a brighter future ahead.

We have a similar message in the end, anon. We both want the stories that will give us hope. I often much prefer to watch a movie that will show me that the world can be better than it is rather than the opposite.

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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years ago

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The Weekend Warrior Home Edition 7/31/20 – THE SHADOW OF VIOLENCE, SUMMERLAND, THE SECRET: DARE TO DREAM, SHE DIES TOMORROW and More!

As I started to gather what’s left of my wits for this week’s column, there seemed to be fewer movies than usual, and I was quite thankful for that. Then, a few of the movies scheduled for some sort of theatrical release this weekend were delayed and I discovered a bunch of movies I didn’t have in my release calendar to begin with, so this is a little bit of an odd weekend but still one with 8 movies reviews! I went into most of the movies this weekend without much knowledge of what they were about, probably was the best way to go into many of them, since it allowed me to be somewhat open-minded about what I was watching.

The first surprise of the week is that we’re getting another decent film from the one and only Saban Films, so maybe the VOD distributor has been using the pandemic to step up its game as well. Directed by first-time feature director Nick Rowland, the Irish crime-drama THE SHADOW OF VIOLENCE (Saban Films), based on the book “Calm with Horses,” stars relative newcomer Cosmo Jarvis as Douglas Armstrong, known as “Arm,” the enforcer for the drug-dealing Devers family. Douglas also has a young toddler with local woman Ursula (Niamh Algar), but when his handler Dympna (Barry Keoghan) orders Arm to kill for the first time, he’s forced to rethink his career.

Much of the story revolves a member of the Devers family caught making a lurid pass at Dympha’s 16-year-old sister, leading to consequences, as Arm is sent to beat the crap out of him. For head of the family, that isn’t nearly enough and soon, Arm is ordered to kill the man. (This aspect of the story reminds me a little of Todd Field’s Little Children, particularly the Jackie Earle Haley subplot.)

As I mentioned above, I watched this film with zero expectations and was taken quite aback by how great it was, despite not having been that big a fan of Keoghan from some of his past work. On the other hand, Cosmo Jarvis, in his first major role, is absolutely outstanding, giving a performance on par with something we might see from Thomas Hardy or Matthias Schoenaerts, at least in their earlier work. Barely saying a word, Jarvis instills so many emotions into “Arm” as we see him playing with his young autistic son, Jack, trying to keep his jealousy over Ursula under control, while also being there when Dympna needs him. Even as you think you’re watching fairly innocuous day-to-day stuff, Rowland ratchets up the tension to an amazing degree right up until a climactic moment that drives the last act.

Despite the film’s title, The Shadow of Violence isn’t just about violence, as much as it is about a man trying to figure out how to change the trajectory of his life. If you like character-based films like The Rider, this movie is definitely going to be for you. Another surprise is that the movie will be available only in theaters this Friday, rather than the typical VOD approach Saban Films generally takes, so check your local theater if it’s playing near you.

The faith-based drama THE SECRET: DARE TO DREAM (Lionsgate), starring Katie Holmes and Josh Lucas, is directed by Andy Tennant (Hitch, Sweet Home Alabama) and adapted from Rhonda Byrne’s self-help book, The Secret (which is based on a 2006 movie also called The Secret). Originally planned for a theatrical release, it’s now being released as PVOD, which seems to be the way that so many movies are going now. In it, Holmes plays Miranda Wells, a struggling widow living in New Orleans with three kids who on a stormy night meets a kind stranger (Lucas) who tries to pass on his philosophy of using positive thinking to get whatever you want in life.

Mini-Review: I don’t usually buy into some of the faith-based movies that are released every year, but that’s mainly because I rarely get a chance to see any of them, so why bother? I was ready to go into The Secret: Dare to Dream with a healthy amount of skepticism, because it seemed to be another movie about grand miracles… but in fact, it’s just a bland movie pimping Rhonda Byrne’s New Thought technique from her New Age-y self help book.

The idea is that positive thinking is all that it takes to get anything you want, something no less than Oprah quickly glommed onto. While the movie doesn’t hit you over the head with such a message, and “God” is only mentioned once, it also just doesn’t seem to offer much in terms of storytelling to maintain one’s interest.

Katie Holmes does a fine job playing an amiable single mother who meets Josh Lucas’ Bray Johnson as a huge storm is about to hit New Orleans, and he seems like a nice enough fellow as he helps her replace a broken bumper (after she rear-ended him, no less) and then fixing up the house after the storm. But Bray has a secret (hence the title) and it’s in an important envelope that he hesitates to give to Miranda.

The film’s biggest problem is that there never is much in terms of stake when it comes to the drama, because Bray seems to be there to fix everything and make everything better. Miranda’s only other real relation is an awkward one with Jerry O’Connell’s long-time (presumably platonic) friend Tucker, which only gets more awkward when he surprises her by popping the question. She says “Yes” without talking to her own kids first. The whole time while watching the film, I was expecting some sort of big Nicholas Spark level romance between Miranda and Bray, so when Tucker proposes, it throws a real spanner in the works, but only for a little while.

Incidentally, the “secret” of the title that Bray resists telling Miranda until pressured isn’t particularly groundbreaking either. I won’t ruin it. You’ll just be annoyed when it’s finally revealed.

The Secret: Dare to Dream is as generic and bland a tale you can possibly get, one that really doesn’t accomplish very much and feels more like a Lifetime movie than something particularly revelatory.

Rating: 6/10

Jessica Swale’s WW2-set SUMMERLAND (IFC Films) stars Gemma Arterton as fantasy author Alice Lamb, quietly living on the South of England in a small beachside town when she’s presented with a young London evacuee named Frank (Lucas Bond) for her to mind while his father’s at war. Alice lives alone but many years earlier, she had a friendship with a local woman named Vera (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) that turned into something more, despite the taboo of their relationship during those times.

This was another nice surprise, and as I watched the movie, it was hard not to compare it to last week’s Radioactive, since they’re movies intended to appeal to a similar audience. This one seems to be more focused, and Arterton does a better job being likeable despite being as persnickety as Pike’s Marie Currie. Although this isn’t a biopic, it did remind me of films like Goodbye Christopher Robin and Tolkien, and possibly even Finding Neverland. (Incidentally, the Summerland of the title is a mythical place that Alice is writing about, which adds to the fairy tale angle to the film.)

As the film goes along, there’s a pretty major twist, of sorts, and it’s when the stakes in the film start to feel more dramatic as things continue to elevate into the third act. The movie actually opens in 1975 with Penelope Wilton playing the older Alice, although I’m not sure the framing sequence was particularly needed for the film to work the way Swale intended.

Summerland is generally just a nice and pleasant film that stirs the emotions and shows Swale to be a filmmaker on the rise.

Another really nice indie film that might involve a bit more searching is director Sergio Navaretta’s THE CUBAN (Brainstorm Media), written by Alessandra Piccione. It follows 19-year-old Mina (played by Ana Golja), a Canadian pre-med student who lives with her aunt, Bano (Shohreh Aghdashloo), who pushes her career in medicine, although Mina would rather be a singer. At her part-time job at a long-term care facility, Mina meets Luis (Louis Gossett Jr.), a quiet elderly patient who sits in his wheelchair never talking to anyone until Mina discovers his love for music, and the two bond over that, although Mina’s employers don’t think she’s helping Luis despite his obvious change in nature.

This was just a lovely film driven by Golja, who is just wonderful in the lead role with an equally terrific cast around her, and while it gets a little obvious, I can’t imagine anyone not enjoying this film that harks back to some of the great earlier work by Thomas McCarthy, as it follows a touching story that mixes a number of cultures in a surprisingly fluid way. It turned out to be quite a pleasant and unexpected film in the way it deals with subjects like dementia in such a unique and compelling away, especially if you enjoy Cuban music.

The Cuban already played at a couple Canadian theaters, but it will be available via Virtual Cinema and in some American theaters Friday, and you can find out where at the Official Site.

I was pretty excited to see Amy Seimetz’s new film, SHE DIES TOMORROW (NEON), since I was quite a fan of her previous film, Sun Don’t Shine. Besides having played quite a fantastic role in recent independent cinema through her varied associations, Seimetz also cast Kate Lyn Sheil, a fantastic actress, in the main role. It’s a little hard to explain the film’s plot, but essentially Sheil plays Amy, a woman convinced she’s going to die tomorrow, a feeling that starts spreading to others around her. I’m not sure if you would get this just from watching the film, because it’s pretty vague and even a little confusing about what is happening despite the high concept premise.

For the first 15 minutes or so, the camera spends the entire time watching Sheil as she cries and hugs a wall, while listening to the same opera record over and over. When her friend Jane (Jane Adams) comes over to check on her, she finds her vacuuming in a fancy dress. Amy tells her friend that she’s going to die tomorrow, and she wants to be turned into a leather jacket. Soon, after we’re watching Jane, a scientist, going down the same wormhole as Amy. That’s pretty much the running narrative, although the film opens up when we meet some of Jane’s family and friends, including Katie Aselton, Chris Messina, Tunde Adebimpe, Michelle Rodriguez and more. Soon after we meet them, they TOO are convinced that they’re going to die tomorrow. Incidentally (and spoiler!), no one actually dies in the movie. Heck, I’d hesitate even to call this a “horror” movie because it takes the idea of a pandemic that we’ve seen in movies like Bird Box, Contagion and others and sucks all the genre right out of it, but it still works as a character piece.

The thing is that the film looks great and also feels quite unique, which does make She Dies Tomorrow quite compelling, as well as a great vehicle for both Sheil and Seimetz. Even so, it’s also very much a downer and maybe not the best thing to watch if you aren’t in a good place, emotionally. You’ve been warned. It will open at select drive-ins this weekend, but it will then be available via VOD next Friday, August 7.

Next up, we have two fantastic and inspiring docs that premiered at Sundance earlier this year…

In recent years, Ron Howard has made a pretty amazing transition into respectable documentary filmmaker, and that continues with REBUILDING PARADISE (National Geographic), which takes a look at the horrible fires that struck Northern California in November 2018, literally wiping out the town of Paradise and leaving over 50,000 people homeless and killing roughly 85 people.

It’s really horrifying to see the amount of destruction caused when a spark from a faulty transmission line ignites the particularly dry forest surrounding the town of Paradise, destroying the hospital and elementary school and displacing the homeowners. This is obviously going to be a tough film to watch, not only seeing the fires actually raze the town to the ground but also watching these not particularly wealthy people having to contend with losing their homes. (It’s even tougher to watch now since you wonder how COVID may have affected the town as it’s in better shape now then it was last year.)

Using a cinema verité approach (for the first time possible?), Howard finds a small group of people to follow, including the town’s former mayor, the school superintendent, a local police officer, and others. It’s pretty impressive how much time this doc covers, and often, you may wonder if Ron Howard was there at all times, because it seems like he would have to have been embedded with the townspeople for an entire year to get some of the footage.

As I said, this is not an easy film to watch, especially as you watch these people dealing with so much tragedy – if you’ve seen any of the docs about Sandy Hook, you might have some idea how hard this movie may be to watch for you. But it is great, since it shows Howard achieving a new level as a documentary filmmaker with a particularly powerful piece.

Produced by Kerry Washington, THE FIGHT (Magnolia Pictures) is the latest doc from Weiner directors Elyse Steinberg, Josh Kriegman, this time joined as director by that film’s editor, Eli B. Despres. The “fight” of the title is the one between the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and the Trump administration that began shortly after his inauguration in 2017, his Muslim travel ban that quickly followed, and going up until mid-2019 when a lot of obvious civil rights violations were being perpetrated by the U.S. government.

This is a particularly interesting doc if you weren’t aware of how active the ACLU has been in helping to protect people’s rights on a variety of fronts. The doc covers four particular cases involving immigration, LGBTQ rights, voting rights and reproductive rights, and we watch the lawyers involved in four important cases, including a few that are taken right up to the Supreme Court. In following these four particular lawyers, the filmmakers do a great job helping the viewer understand how important the ACLU is in keeping the conservative right at bay from trying to repeal some previous laws made to protect Americans’ rights.

Of course, this film is particularly timely since it covers a lot of dramatic changes, including the nomination of Justice Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, which ends up being ironic, since he was the judge presiding over an earlier ACLU case involving a pregnant teen immigrant who isn’t allowed to get an abortion. The movie doesn’t skirt the fact that often the ACLU is called upon to help the likes of white supremacists and potential terrorist factions, since they’re about protecting everyone’s rights. I would have loved to hear more about this, but it does cover the backlash to the ACLU after the Charlottesville protests went horribly wrong in 2017.

Be warned that there are moments in this film where the waterworks will start flowing since seeing the ACLU succeed against oppression is particularly moving. If you’ve been following the country’s shifting politics keenly and want to learn more about the ACLU, The Fight does a great job getting behind closed doors and humanizing the organization.

The Fight will be available on all digital and On Demand platforms starting Friday, and you can find out how to rent it at the Official Site.

Vinnie Jones (remember him?) stars in Scott Wiper’s crime-thriller THE BIG UGLY (Vertical) about a pair of British mobsters who travel to West Virginia to make an oil deal in order to launder money. Once there, they encounter some troubles with the locals, particularly the sadistic son of Ron Perlman’s Preston, the man with whom they’re dealing.

Sometimes, as a film critic, you wonder how a movie that has so much potential can turn into such an unmitigated disaster, but then you watch a movie like The Big Ugly, and you realize that some bad filmmakers are better at talking people into doing things than others.

That seems to be the case with this film in which Jones plays Leland, who comes to West Virginia with his boss Harris (McDowell) to make an oil deal with Ron Perlman’s Preston, only for the latter’s son “PJ” (Brandon Sklenar) causing trouble, including the potential murder of Leland’s girlfriend. Of course, one would expect to see tough guy Vinnie Jones out for revenge against the endless parade of sleaze-balls he encounters, and that may have been a better movie than what Wiper ended up making, which is all over the place in terms of tone. (It was only after I watched the film did I realize that Wiper wrote and directed the absolutely awful WWE Film, The Condemned, also starring Jones. If I only knew.)

Jones isn’t even the worst part of the cast, in terms of the acting, because both McDowell and Perlman, two great actors, struggle through the terrible material, though Perlman generally fares better than McDowell, who doesn’t seem to be giving it his all.

There’s a whole subplot involving one of PJ’s friends/co-workers (recent Emmy nominee Nicholas Braun from HBO’s Succession) and his relationship with a pretty local (Lenora Crichlow) that goes nowhere and adds nothing to the overall story. Once PJ is seemingly dealt with, there’s still almost 35 minutes more of movie, including a long monologue by Perlman telling a sorely wasted Bruce McGill how he met McDowell’s character. Not only does it kill any and all momentum leading up to that point, but it’s probably something that should have been part of the set-up earlier in the film.

The fact this movie is so bad is pretty much Wiper’s fault, becuase he wrote a script made up of so many ideas that never really fit together – kind of like Guy Ritchie doing a very bad Deliverance remake before deciding to turn it into a straight-up Western. Wiper then tries his hardest to salvage the movie by throwing in violence and explosions and leaning heavily on the soundtrack. (The fact that both this and the far superior The Shadow of Violence used a song from the Jam was not lost on this music enthusiast.) Regardless, The Big Ugly is a pretty detestable piece of trash that couldn’t end fast enough… and it didn’t. (It played in drive-ins and select theaters last Friday but will be available on digital and On Demand this Friday.)

Available through Virtual Cinemas (supporting Film Forum and the Laemmle in L.A) is Martha Kehoe and Joan Tosoni’s documentary, Gordon Lightfoot: If You Could Read My Mind, about the Canadian singer-songwriter who changed people’s impressions of Canadian culture, covering Lightfoots’s greatest triumphs and failures.

Film at Lincoln Center’s Virtual Cinema will premiere Koji Fukada’s Japanese drama A Girl Missing (Film Movement) on Friday, while New York’s Metrograph Live Screening series continues this week with Manfred Kirchheimer’s Bridge High & Stations of the Elevated starting today through Friday, and then the premiere of Nan Goldin’s Sirens (with two other shorts) starting on Friday. You can subscribe to the series for $5 a month or $50 a year.

Premiering on Disney+ this Friday is Beyoncé’s Black is King, her new visual album inspired by the lessons from The Lion King, as well as the new original Muppets series, Muppets Now. Since I haven’t seen either Lion King movie, I’m definitely looking forward more to the Muppets returning to "television.”

Launching on Netflix today is Matias Mariani’s Shine Your Eyes about a Nigerian musician who travels to Sao Paulo to look for his estranged brother and bring him back to Nigeria, as well as Sue Kim’s doc short, The Speed Cubers, set in the world of competitive Rubik cube solving and the friendly rivalry between two young “speedcubers.” Also, Season 2 of The Umbrella Academy will premiere on Netflix this Friday.

Premiering on Shudder tomorrow (Thursday, July 30) is Rob Savage’s Host, the first horror movie made during the quarantine about a group of six friends who decide to hold a séance over Zoom.

Amazon’s drive-in series continues tonight with “Movies to Inspire Your Inner Child,” playing Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and Hook.

Next week, more movies not in theaters!

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!

#TheWeekendWarrior #SheDiesTomorrow #Summerland #TheCuban #Movies #Reviews #TheFight #RebuildingParadise #TheShadowOfViolence #VOD #Streaming #TheSecretDareToDream

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ccborrega · 7 years ago

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Right so I summoned some patience to watch at least a part of the second hobbit movie and

WHy are the dwarves such jerks. Srsly, in the book weren’t angels, but they weren’t dickholes. They try to build them out to be some sort of epic heroes and they’re legit the most whinny and thankless pack of manbabies ever except oooooh they can fight, so I guess that makes it OK. At risk of sounding like the feminist I am, if they were women we’d have a lot of people talking about how useless and whinny they are. But noooo. They’re guys, and the most notorios of them are conventionally attractive, so we’re just gonna call it ‘Quirky’ and ‘Endearing’. At least in the book when they were being dicks, Bilbo or Gandalf would call them out for it and it’d be like ‘Crap he’s right, OK, let’s tone it down a little’ but here whenever Bilbo actually does speak up they have the gull to seem offended. If glares were knives he would have been dead ten times over in that one scene where he tells them he knows Bard’s name because he ASKED. Like...dammit Thorin! I know even your book self was very snobbish and egocentric, but at least the book knew how to paint it as ridiculous as it is! Here I’m supposed to actually buy your superiority even though most of the time you’re on screen I wanna kick you in the nads. The result is that where bad things happen to these characters and you’re supposed to feel bad for them, I’m like ‘Meh, bitch had it coming’. There are exceptions, of course, but in this case it just serves to make the fact that the other guys are jerks even more obvious.

And Bard, omg, Bard. The guy from the original book who seemingly was the only one who had common sense? And was described as ‘Severe’ in the midst of people who refused to see the possible downsides to their support of Thorin’s campaign and therefore dubbed by them as a ‘Partypooper’? Here he is yet ANOTHER brooding beardy heroic guy. And granted, Tolkien does describe him sort of like that sort of guy, but in a film that is filled with so many Prince Zuko brand of brooding characters, all of them more or less on the same flavor of ANGST...it feels like a human Thorin. It could have been interesting had the parallel been handled well,or addressed at all. But no.

Then there’s the elf OC. I tried not to mind her as much because one of the versions I’ve heard for her existing is ‘Jackson realized this was kind of a sausage fest so he had to put a female character there’. But. Nah, man, it was pure ‘We need romance’ bullshit, and it really does bother me. Oh no, wait, she also serves the purpose of showing how much of a dick Legolas’s dad is. ‘cause locking people up for approaching a party when they’re lost and starving in the woods isn’t clear enough on that matter. Again, Tolkien makes a point on telling you the elf king might be kind of a jerk but is not a bad guy. He makes brash and unkind choices, as anyone does, but that doesn’t make him evil or anything. NOPE. Here we get a faaaabulous asshole that kinda makes you wonder how Legolas is open-minded enough to be in a relationship-which-i-can-never-figure-whether-it’s-romantic-or-not with a dwarf and be ride-or-die from the very start with Aragorn. Was his mom the middle earth variety of hippie or something? Anyway, the girl’s participation (I can’t for the life of me remember her goddamn name I’m sorry) is pretty much just a token girl warrior with a dash of forbidden love tropes for shock value. And you know anytime something is pushed into a story for mere shock value, chaaaaances are the story ain’t that good to begin with.

Speaking of romance, I can see why tumblr went crazy with the ‘Thorin and Bilbo are boyfriends’, seeing how people here love unbalanced power dynamics so much. Thorin not ONCE stops being the over-glorified piece of dickwaddle he is, not once does he step down from his high horse to Bilbo’s level. Hell, I see a more ground level relationship with Balin, but none of you are jumping on that wagon because Balin is old and old people are gross I guess, what you want is kawaiikawaii boilove YAOI or whatever the fuck you kids are calling your gross fetish version of gay people now. Thorin is just so superior to everyone that I just can’t see him being boyfriends with anyone. And tbh if it did happen I’d be like ‘Dump his ass, baby, you deserve better’. HE IS JUST SO INSUFFERABLY HIGH AND MIGHTY UGH! and what little redeeming qualities he has are quickly and easily over-shadowed by his default moodiness and arrogance! Honest to God if I you met a guy like this in real life you wouldn’t be able to put up with him for more than a day! It’s the exact kinda guy we all stayed away from on high school because he took offense in the strangest things and acted like he was better than everyone else while at the same time moaning about how he’s an outcast and no one understands him. IT’S AWFUL.

Look, someday I’m gonna buy like two liters of pulque, get drunk, and actually watch the entirety of the latter two films from beginning to end just so I can know if they’re not as bad as they seem (Though BeneDICK CUNTberbatch kinda makes me want to never ever do it) but today wasn’t that day. I was five minutes in and I was already clawing at my face. Goddammit.

#lots of swearing you are warned #i just...UGHHH #I am never gonna stop being annoyed by the huge letdown this film was #I waited for a film adaptation of the hobbit all my life and this is what I get #a trilogy that should have been called 'THe hobbit trilogy: THe search for more money'#Imma check the animated one someday even though I hear it's not much better #my fever dream was that Studio Ghibli was one day going to get the rights and do good by the story #siiiigh

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tipsycad147 · 5 years ago

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Going to a faery festival? Costume tips and ideas

Posted by Michelle Gruben on Jul 25, 2016

Are you going to Faerieworlds? Glastonbury? Or another faery festival or Renaissance faire? Here’s some ideas to help plan the faery costume of your dreams.

Inspiration

If you’re stumped, try looking at books, movies, and past festival photos for inspiration. Keep a folder of your favourite accessories and ideas. Borrowing like crazy is totally encouraged: Victorian, Gothic, Steampunk, Disney, Renaissance, Medieval, Lolita, D&D/LARP, Hippie, Psychedelic, Rave, Circus, Gypsy, Ballet, Carnivale, Tolkien and Tribal fashions have all had a notable influence on the garb that appears at Faery festivals. Look up any of these styles to uncover a wealth of inspiration--then combine at will!

Budget

Thrift stores and even your own closet can yield great base garments for your faery costume. Gypsy skirts, vests, sundresses, tunics and tights can all be easily modified or embellished. (Big tacky prom dresses are a great source for yards and yards of tulle!) Craft stores have fake flowers, ribbons, and feathers galore. Fabric scraps can be become appliques, junk jewellery can be taken apart and turned into faery bling.

Big multi-day festivals like Faerieworlds give you the opportunity to create multiple costumes and wear a different one each day. There are also various themed events (like Good Faeries/Bad Faeries). Obviously, this can get really expensive and cumbersome for travellers. A new hairpiece, over-skirt, or bodice can freshen up yesterday’s costume (or last year’s) if a whole new outfit isn’t in the cards.

Transportation and Packing

While admiring your new 36” wings in the closet mirror, you realise that you have to get them to the festival. Oh crap. Make sure there’s enough room in your vehicle or luggage to bring the costume(s) you’re planning to wear.

Fabrics like rayon, silk, and cotton voile are wonderful for travelling faeries because they’re lightweight, compact, and wrinkle-resistant. With any luck, you can just shake them out upon arrival and be ready to go. But other accessories aren’t so forgiving. Pack flower wreaths and headdresses in boxes (if you can) to prevent crushing. Small wings can be folded and packed between two layers of stiff cardboard. A mesh cover is great for keeping wigs in line. One more tried-and-true faery travel rule: Anything with glitter gets its own bag.

Being Prepared

Outdoor festivals come with a special challenge for costumers: The weather. Over the years, Oregon’s Faerieworlds has been held in weekend-long rain, scorching sun, and plenty of fair-weather days.

Live music and dance performances are a big part of many faery festivals, so don’t let your costume be a buzzkill. Accessories like stilts, oversized wings and headdresses may block the view of the stage and keep you from dancing. Have a plan for ditching them so you can join the crowd, if you wish.

In case of an emergency, you should have a set of human clothes, too. (I know! Boo!) You can leave ‘em in your duffel bag until it’s time to go home.

Last-Minute Faeries

If you’re still feeling drab and human, try another accessory. A bright hair colour, horns, mask or face paint can help transform you into a Fae creature. These things can almost always be found within the festival gates. In fact, if you’re truly strapped for time, you could do all your costume shopping at the festival—the vendors will thank you for it!

Have fun at the festival, and don't forget to take pictures!

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/going-to-a-faery-festival-costume-tips-and-ideas

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bkwrm523 · 8 years ago

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1. Always post these rules

2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

3. Write 11 questions of your own

4. Tag 11 people

Tagged by @mccoymostly

Meant to do these when I got home, but forgot. Better late than never?

What’s your absolute favorite scene from any film?

Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I’m gonna go with this one:

We waited 30 years for this scene. Thirty years, and IMHO, boy did it deliver. Can’t watch it without crying. If you listen closely, you can hear Obi Wan’s heart shattering.

What’s the most terrible book you’ve ever read?

Ugh, I don’t like to answer this one. I don’t like the idea of pissing on published authors. Can I answer this but say that it’s just my opinion? That I still have the utmost respect for the author and the book and the fans of the book? Is that okay? Art is subjective. And it costs nothing to be nice.

That being said, the Shannara series.

Star Trek NoTP, and why?

I guess Khan/anyone on the crew. He’s an asshole.

The four most badass humans to ever walk the earth? If you’re feeling it, I’d love to hear your justification. ;)

Oi vey. Ummm, if the stories are true, King Leonidas of Sparra; Winston Churchill; Jasper Maskelyn (sp?); and President Franklin Roosevelt.

The fictional character you identify most with, and why?

Eowyn. She faced some of her greatest personal tries totally isolated from everyone who might want to help her, and probably felt very alone and afraid. And yet, she stayed true to herself despite overwhelming pressure and stood up for herself and what she knew she wanted to do. She was a huge source of strength for me growing up.

If you could hang out with one person for a day, living or dead, who would you pick, and why?

Other than my Andy? Yeah, I know, not a fun answer. Ummmm... the question suggests it has to be a real person, no fictional characters. So I guess Tolkien. I’d love to pick his brain a little, maybe get some writing advice. HE’S the writer I wanna be someday.

What character, from any source, do you think gives the best kisses, and why?

My bby here is kinda starved for affection. He doesn’t need air, for one thing. Not that he’d ever hurt you, but... he has a thing when you’re making out where he never wants it to stop. If you let him, when you try to pull away he’ll sorta go no wait, I’m not done, come back. It’s adorable and sweet and makes me wanna sink into his arms and never come back.

Who is your favorite artist (any medium; this can be interpreted broadly), and why?

Tolkien. I wish I had the attention span to do the background work he did, but so far I haven’t managed it. I do wish that someday I can make the kind of impact he did.

What’s your favorite theoretical crossover? In other words, what characters, from different fandoms, would you like to see interact, or who would you like to see thrown into a different universe? I hope this question makes sense, guys.

Goddamnit Ana, I gotta pick ONE?! FFS.

Who is your favorite iconic scientist, and which of their contributions do you find most significant?

Fite me.

If you could remake any movie, in any way you want, what movie would you pick, and what would you change?

The Last Starfighter. That story had SO MUCH potential that they just didn’t take the time to explore.

Crap, now I’ve gotta think of 11 questions. Umm... (Ana, I’m stealing from your list)

Favorite dramatic moment from any fictional story that comes to mind.

What character(s) inspired you the most growing up?

What character(s) or real people/historical figures do you reach for when you need strength?

What the hell is a pillow sham and why do we need it?

Favorite Robin Williams role?

Favorite dog and/or cat breed?

Favorite horror movie/movie series?

Horror or suspense, and why?

What underrated movie haven’t we heard of that we should all go watch? We all have at least one, what’s one of your favs?

What was your first fandom? First character you fell for?

Milk chocolate or dark chocolate?

Since I’ve got 11 different questions, I’m probably re-tagging people. Only do if you wanna. @mysteriouslyme81 @mccoymostly @medicatemedrmccoy @outside-the-government @starshiphufflebadger @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @imoutofmyvulcanmind @mysupernaturalfics @gracieminabox @joanne-egberp @lokis-quinn

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therealdragonnerdagain · 8 years ago

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I realize there are lots of Potterheads who will eat me alive for saying this, but I actually feel like Harry Potter was written pretty badly.

I've criticized it in the past by comparing it to A Wizard of Earthsea (the writing of which is actually superior in every way), but there are actually lots of things that were wrong with the story outside of Harry Potter's lack of real character growth (no, him shouting at Ron and Hermione doesn't count as development).

People usually point to the millions of people the books reached as some kind of testiment of its great writing. The sad reality is, millions of people can be wrong. Very wrong. Millions of people also love the abomination that is Twilight -- that doesn't make it greatly written. Millions of people are also racist, homophobic, and misogynistic . . . does that make it right? Millions of people also follow various religions -- is that an indication that those various religions are "correct"?

Fifty Shades of Grey sold to millions of people, and it's still cringey garbage. Yeah, that's my opinion from what I've seen and heard of it. It's totally cringeworthy. Fucking Iron Bull's romance in DA:I is better than Fifty Shades.

The reality is, agents and publishers are pretty good at selling crap. Harry Potter was cliched, derivative crap (with more issues in regards to homophobia and racism than people care to admit, which were both a result of Rowling's upbringing, not Rowling being a "bad person" herself).

The reason why Harry Potter sold worldwide? There are two.

1) It was easily accessible.

It's not elitist to say a lot of people are dumb. A lot of people ARE. A book that doesn't require someone to think, reflect, or actually go look a word up is a book that can reach millions of people.

On top of being a simplistic story of good/evil, bravery, and friendship, Harry Potter is the poster boy for a relatable character. We've all been taught that straight white guys are fully three dimensional human beings (while the rest of us aren't) so we all find it easier to relate to Harry Potter. Because we've been taught to. Had Harry Potter been a black queer teenage girl, I doubt anyone would have loved him. No. We don't value people like that (people like me).

2) Rowling had a unique, querky, humorous voice. Most narratives aren't funny, especially fantasy narratives where the author feels the need to be utterly serious about utterly everything. The one thing Rowling and Tolkien's books have in common (aside from many, MANY other things) is the humorous tone of the narrative.

When I was a kid, there was nothing I liked more than reading The Hobbit. I loved stepping into Bilbo Baggins' shoes and reading about this nervous little man losing his buttons and spilling his tea, and still, somehow, he managed to defeat a fucking dragon. Rowling loved it too. She loved it so much, she adapted Tolkien's style and brought his stories to a modern setting for a new generation of children.

How many agents are looking for a unique voice? Look at any agency website, and it's the first thing they care about. If an author has an unique voice, something that is truly appealing and stands out, they will make big fat money. Rowling sold her books on her unique voice, the querky personality that shone through, not her writing "talent."

I'm not insulting her, I'm stating FACTS. Most of the time, it's not talent that makes money. If a writer can spoonfeed an audience a bunch of derivative nonsense, the audience will eat it up so long as it's entertaining.

I know people will come out of the woodworks to convince me that Harry Potter is a brilliant work of fiction (lol) and that Rowling is a genius, but seriously? That's a bit much. Rowling's not a genius and Harry Potter is not brilliant and nothing she did was honestly anything new.

I'm not saying no one is allowed to enjoy Harry Potter for what it is. I'm just saying I wish people would stop exaggerating or completely ignoring the huge, glaring flaws in the writing that are clearly, CLEARLY there. (Such as romantacizing Snape's obsession with Lily . . . ugh.)

All that being said, my favorite of the books -- and the best Harry Potter book, in my opinion -- was Socercer's Stone, the very first one.

Sorcerer's Stone is the only HP book I think of with a smile. It was charming, humorous, short, and sweet. Harry Potter is introduced to the magic world, Harry Potter stopped Voldemort from returning with the help of his best friends, the end.

Sometimes I wish the books had stopped there.

#novel rant

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