#love in the air ep8

[blmpff]

[rowie264]

For me it's easier to sympathize zaunite characters rather than piltovan ones simply because they have self-awareness

Silco knows he flooded Zaun with drugs, he knows what this shit does to people. He does it anyway to achieve his main goal - Nation of Zaun.

Jinx is aware she is crazy. She basically spells it out in s1 ep9. She knows that she killing ppl is bad. She just doesn't care

Sevika is Silco's right hand man. She does dirty job for him and and understands perfectly well how his methods affect Zaun. She doesn't even question it because his methods work, and as long as they work, she will work with him.

Singed is just the same. He'll do anything for his daughter no matter how horrific his actions are. He doesn't justify it, simply states it was "for love".

And what we have with piltovan characters? You see because s2 is trying to pretend that oppression wasn't such big thing all piltovan characters looks even worse.

Caitlyn gasses people (and not only barons and their goons, gas spreads), using her priveledge as a Sheriff and Councilor's daughter. She never adresses that and never spells out what had she'd done. Like, yeah, she says "we can't erase our mistakes" (s2 ep8) probably not meaning just Jinx's but also her own but that's so… shallow. Like writers couldn't let her really say aloud what she'd done and face consequences bc it would makes bad things too real.

Heimerdinger was one of the founders of Piltover and councilor. He either didn't know, either didn't care to figure out what happens in Undercity for decades. Like, he goes to Zaun after he gets kicked out from Council and finally realises how badly ppl live there but… he just closes his eyes on it? Again?

Jayce killed that kid in s1 and regretted it but once his mother tries to revenge him? Builds weapons immidiately as countermeasure and moves on. He kills dozens of zaunites in Viktor's commune by killing Viktor and doesn't show even a hint of remorse. Like yeah, they were gonna become creepy robots but you know they were still humans when he killed Viktor. Also he (with approval of the Council for sure) places that Hexgates' big core (dont remember how that shit was called) underground and if that thing would blow up Zaun would be left without water and fresh air. Spelled out by Ekko and immediately forgotten.

In the end by removing characters' awareness of their actions and lack of reflection makes piltovan characters either hypocrites, either stupid, either both. And no, i don't want all these characters to be punished for what they did (all chars - except Ekko maybe - would end up in jail lol) I just want characters to realize what they did. I want impact of their actions/inactions. I want real consequences. I want them to face these consequences, not just brush it aside. And then i want them to act according to their personalities, even if i personally wouldn't like what they'd do.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 9 part 2

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

I'm glad nicky came up with a cool new tune because according to period movies and shows greensleeves is the only song anyone ever knew

look at that meek little smile, ughhhh. nicky is like two days old and this asshole has already figured out he's the perfect prop for her murder sprees. and these poor women are calling her sister and are willing to help too.

the spell is te accipimus in circulum, we accept you in the circle, and yes that makes me cry a little. we accept you in our community. and the spell is yellow air magic, which sounds like the most empathic kind if Lilia is any indication.

that's interesting, you can't really tell that well from screencaps but go rewatch the scene, this witch is making mushrooms grow with yellow magic instead of green?? is it just a spell (she is holding a book) or have I been getting it all wrong and color has nothing to do with the type of magic one has?

or maybe??? the color depends on the coven you're in?? the salemites all had blue magic for example. and now that I think about it the stone circle is a protection spell but it's not red/orange.

the meaning of this scene is so glaring dear lord. agatha was never going to give these women a chance to prove that yes, there are people out there who could love and help and accept her. she has shut herself up to that possibility a long time ago.

and she stole the soup too. awful.

I've seen all the different theories about nicky needing to feed on witches too, or nicky needing soul sacrifices to survive because he's the son of death etc. we don't have enough evidence to prove anything yet, but personally I headcanon nicky as a totally normal kid, that makes this story even more tragic.

and aww that baby suckling on the little pudgy fist

nicky doesn't look that happy about what he's been asked to do, does he?

we establish that nicky was sickly (maybe he was born with some internal defect that rio temporarily patched up?) we also see him steal the bell agatha will use for her Road scam in the future.

and we meet yet another witch being kind and wanting to help.

agatha: I love this six year old so much I'm gonna make him accessory to murder

dO yOU ShaME YouR MOtHER

and the big fake gasp too. as usual this bitch has conned a whole community

like, she's convinced herself that other witches are bad and are after her WHILE relying on witches's good hearts to con and kill them. what sort of mental gymnastics???

color goes from yellow to purple. nicky waits outside while his mom commits murder, it's not a good look on agatha. completely fucked up, actually.

(I'm terrified that the goat will end up being an agent of mephisto or something idiotic like that, lemme tell you. I hope they're just keeping it for milk and company.)

and here's the million dollar question. nicky has seen his mom kill literally since he was born, and now he's old enough to start realizing what that means.

oooh I know that look, that's agatha when she's put on the spot. she avoids his gaze, she can't be sincere with him.

and of course she's teaching herself spells from a book. nerrrrrrd

nicky, bless his soul, appears to give it a good thought and then offers a practical suggestion. I guess he wouldn't mind to have a roof on his head and some friends too.

GREAT acting from kathryn here. the quick OH SHIT face followed by the super final NO, with her jaw so rigid. in typical agatha fashion, when she's upset she becomes avoidant.

this is evanora's legacy. despite agatha's immense love for nicky, she is passing all that pain down and inflicting it on him.

remember when she called billy a survivor? this is the greatest asset in her opinion, the one she wants to teach her son. the truth is, she is angry at witches because she is scared of them, she's scared of being targeted again. but look at that kid's dark circles, I can't believe she's making him sleep in the woods, sick as he is!

really really fantastic subtlety. agatha wants to sound wise and strong, but she looks scared, uncertain, guilty.

see how nicky looks at agatha while he sings? he's checking to see if she's noticing, because his mom likes music and likes his voice. he's afraid he has upset her and wants to make her smile. he tried to reason with her, and now he tries to soothe her. this is what happens when you have an immature parent, a child will want to help, they will try to fix things. they'll end up parenting their parent, and it should always be the other way round.

agatha takes the bait. she's relieved that the conversation has moved to a safer subject. but oh, this script is so good. this is a mostly innocent, mostly sweet remark, but with a possessive undertone. don't forget that you are mine, she says.

and still, the love is real. even in a fucked up situation like this, these moment of happiness are precious and genuine and will linger on. look at how adoringly nicky looks at his mom, she's literally the sun and center of his small world, and that's how agatha likes it: she created nicky because she needed someone who could be hers without any baggage or consequences. but it turns out that raising a child is not a cheat code for love, it's one of the most difficult, most significant and impactful decisions a human can make.

go to episode 9 part 3

[magicalangel]

The first.

First glance.

First look.

First gaze.

First lock.

The first of forever ✨

my favorite prapaisky moments ↳ 1/

[markantonys]

3x02 - 3x03, let's go!!! (i didn't rewatch 3x01, too excited to move forward! also, i like to watch each episode only once as the season is airing, and then do a full rewatch a while after it's all out)

my mind is whirling with all the content, so there will probably be a lot i forget to comment on! i'm hopping all over the place out of order and also mentioning full book spoilers as i'm mixing in speculation with reactions.

first, of course: GAWYN!!!!!! he's here, and he's perfect!!!!! recalled as shouting thank god it is my boy!!!!! i can't believe he fucks djkfjgj was not expecting that, and galad fucks too! this is wild. i guess all the trakand sibs are horny as fuck in showverse, good for them.

i loved the family dynamics we got here! every single character constantly dunking on how annoying galad is was specifically designed to cater to me, thank you rafe. even a literal forsaken will take the time to dunk on galad! (mat finally bursting out "mate HAVE a day off" was the hardest i laughed in all these episodes, truly the most perfect expression of the way galad makes a person feel)

it is interesting to me that galad is established as the stronger personality with gawyn more of a sidekick, since i'd assumed it would be the opposite in s3 due to the coup storyline being more important for gawyn, whereas galad's whitecloak stuff might not come into play until s4. as of now, both brothers are only credited on imdb for eps 2&3, so either the imdb credits aren't fully accurate or this is all we see of them this season and they aren't involved in the coup. we do have ep8 filled out with 40-something castmembers now (initially only the first 7 eps had gotten updated), so i'm inclined to think imdb is now more or less accurate (bar potential surprise castings that are being held for spoilers like moggy was in s3 - more on that later) and we will not see the brothers again this season. pretty surprising given how important the coup is for book!gawyn, i'd thought it was a surefire opportunity to flesh out his character by showing more of his coup involvement than the books did rather than less, but we'll see how it goes! if we don't see either of them again this season, then that definitely lends weight to the criticisms of the show buckling under the number of characters it has and some of them not getting the attention they need this season; hopefully by the end of the season, we'll have gotten a fair amount of deaths to clear out the stage a bit (and the good news is we don't have a TON of super-important new characters left beyond everyone who's arriving in s3, mostly just tuon and the rest of the forsaken).

it's also possible that maybe ep8 will only show siuan being deposed in the hall and it ends on a cliffhanger, and then the actual coup and tower battle takes place in 4x01, although splitting it up like that would feel like an odd choice structurally so i don't think it's that likely (unless they just really could not fit a whole battle into ep8 and had to punt it off til 4x01).

re: the family tree, galad was introduced as "galad of house trakand" and he was a pretty young child (maybe even only a toddler?) calling morgase mom in the flashback, which made me think he might just be her bio son, BUT i see in the end credits he is named as "galad damodred". so maybe they've kept him as her stepson - i know he does call her mom in the books too, so it was more his age in the flashback that was noteworthy, since book!galad was.......i think somewhere in the 7-9 range at the time of taringail marrying morgase and gawyn & elayne being born, but maybe they've just condensed the timeline and said there was only a few years between tigraine disappearing and having rand (who is around gawyn's & elayne's age, so the gap between them and galad would indicate how long tigraine was in the waste, IF she is galad's bio mom in showverse). it's also possible the credits just goofed a little and gave him his book name even though he doesn't have it in the show, because there wasn't any indication in the actual episodes that galad is not morgase's bio son and E&G's full brother, and i'd think they would've made a passing mention of it if they wanted to set up the reveal that tigraine was his mom. hopefully, whatever rand learns about tigraine's story this season will make it definitive one way or the other as to whether she had another child before him!

back to the trakands! i was not expecting cutthroat morgase, but i dig it. it really emphasizes the instability and high stakes of a succession - the books allude to morgase's succession being very tumultuous, but this cold open makes that extremely clear, and will set us up to understand why elayne is in such a precarious position when she finds herself involved in a succession of her own (and i'm sure the book!succession arc haters would be glad if the show injects a bit more GOT-style backstabby violent politics into it lmao although, i wouldn't be surprised if morgase adopting that type of politics here will end up being a contrast to elayne doing her best to take the higher road when she rises to the throne, similar to how we need to see siuan making bad calls as amyrlin so that egwene will truly feel like a better amyrlin when she succeeds her).

i really loved the look we got at elayne's and morgase's relationship and at elayne as an individual character. we can feel the weight of expectations and duty upon her, but also see the genuine love between mother and daughter and how much elayne looks up to morgase. it's a great depiction of a mother-daughter queen-heir relationship, where we get to see both the familial and political sides of the dynamic. there's clear familial love there, but it's also not as straightforward as normal parent-child relationships are.

gaebril played me so well, i truly thought he was a longtime part of the family and rahvin had only recently assumed his identity, but no! he really did only show up a month ago but is using compulsion to make everyone remember him as a longtime part of the family! it took my breath away, it was so diabolical. the fact that the show took the time to give him and elayne a one-on-one scene makes me hopeful that elayne will get to be involved in defeating him and taking back caemlyn in showverse (s4 avimatrandlayne battle polycule taking caemlyn together PLEASE i need it for my health)

our forsaken meeting was so much fun! love Scottish Sammael and the dynamics between the three we see in this scene, plus evidence of all the inter-scheming when rahvin hints he's working with graendal and semirhage while scheming with lanfear and sammael and THEN talks to moggy afterwards.

on that note, putting on my clown shoes after my speculation last week that semirhage was cut! she's in! this means that demandred is out (SOB i love him), but i mean, we can't one HUNDRED percent rule out asmo either, yes that one statue looked like it had a guitar but maybe it's something else, or maybe covid rewrites ended up having long-term impacts such that their original forsaken plan as of 1x06 ended up changing. i will wear my clown makeup for as long as i can before accepting that we won't see taimandred! but if it is indeed asmo in the last slot, how will we see him? still as rand's one-on-one tutor, or will he be involved in the black tower storyline? as of now it's not clear how much saidin training rand actually needs at this point. will he be able to be self-taught and asmo/demandred would be solely reserved for the black tower rather than rand's personal tutor? if they use asmo but give him a black tower storyline instead of his own book story, it would be strange that they didn't just use demandred as taimandred. but who knows what might happen!

as of yesterday, ann ogbomo was one of the only leaked actors who isn't yet credited on imdb, so now that we have confirmation of semirhage, i think she's going to play semirhage in a 3x08 surprise stinger scene that they're keeping off imdb for now - maybe showing up to nab the male a'dam as a Surprise Tool For Later. if this is the case, then i might expect a seanchan storyline in s4 so that we can get a look at what semirhage is up to, similar to s2 introducing moggy in the stinger and then having her be a big presence in s3. we'll definitely have to wait to see how the tanchico storyline ends, but i'd have two predictions for a potential s4 seanchan & semirhage presence: 1) structure for fewer total seasons - tanchico falls to the seanchan and mat gets stuck there and meets tuon with the invasion, so basically skipping to WH for him (though he'd probably also form the band, but in tanchico and in the context of trying to fight against the seanchan invasion). 2) structure for more total seasons - mat rejoins rand in s4 for his dragon's general plotline and forming the band, and we possibly meet tuon at home in the seanchan court in a made-for-the-show plotline involving semirhage, and they launch the second invasion in s5, at which point mat leads the campaign against them on rand's behalf and meets tuon then. i think as long as we get minimum 6 seasons, structure #2 (which is much preferable to me, for cauthor reasons) would work just fine, so structure #1 would probably only be if they're told they will only get 5 seasons and need to really hop to getting the endgame set up.

on the subject of mat, i love him in these episodes <3 donal continues to deliver such a charming and endearing performance, while also getting at the vast emotional depths mat has below the shallow-seeming surface! in the books, mat ranks around #4 fave for me (elayne #1, rand #2, egwene #3), but whenever a new season of the show comes around, i often find myself enjoying and looking forward to his scenes the most of everyone because donal just brings so much vibrance and depth to the role (as did barney before him!). i loved his convo with siuan, her persuading him to hand over the horn by being like "i'm sure you're not an idiot, riiiiight?" was so funny, and then we get the word-for-word book convo about her comparing him to her uncle.

i already posted about it, but mat being surprised but game at what he thought was a suggestion of a bi orgy!!!! he is not beating the allegations!!!! also pretty sure he had a line like "your brothers know how good i am with a staff" to elayne at the end lmao and meanwhile, the Nobody Wants Mat Carnally saga continued in full force, i was howling. poor mat! he's like, the ONLY character who hasn't fucked yet djkfjghj rand come fuck your man, he's begging for it! new biggest question for s3: will mat ever get laid successfully?

mat blowing the horn 🤝 mat dueling the princes: scenes i didn't care that much about in the books but got emotional watching in the show. it's because the same arrangement of mat's theme from the horn scene was used again at the start of the duel! it always gets me!! i think it's the most beautiful and emotionally-affecting piece of the show's musical landscape so far.

the music in these episodes ROCKED oh i really really hope we'll get a second album of in-show music later on to add to the themes album that released today! i love the new rand theme, and i love how perrin's new theme includes familiar bits from the original s1 goldeneyes theme and expands on it. all the andor music in ep2 was absolutely incredible, a particular standout of the season's music so far.

back to mat, his relationship with min is quite fun and i like that they didn't just instantly make up after their big fight in s2, but i am starting to lean on the side of "okay, this relationship doesn't need to be THIS big of a focus" haha but now that they're headed for tanchico, i'm sure we'll get more of each of them interacting with nynaeve and elayne too and not just each other, and likewise of nynaeve and elayne getting to expand their social interactions from just each other. i look forward to some mingling! though we did get some great mat-nynaeve scenes already in the first 3 episodes.

the redstone doorway in the 13th depository was just an easter egg after all! so we're back down to just the one doorway visit by mat in tanchico, and we know he is 100% getting hanged, but who will rescue him? at this point i feel like it's going to be min, since they had her foresee it and they're building up her and mat's relationship...........ngl i would be soooooo mad if cauthor cpr went to min instead haha i'd rather nynaeve be the one to save him if it can't be rand! but we'll have to wait and see.

elaida is making inroads at the tower! and most importantly, i have finally unlocked a Favorite Minor Aes Sedai with tsutama. my girl!!! i'm guessing we won't see her again this season, and maybe not for the rest of the show, though i'd really love it if she does come back to the tower eventually in a future season to restore a reds-who-oppose-elaida presence, which could be handy depending on whether the show is going to include pevara and/or silviana.

over to perrin's plotline. i love faile!!! very excited to see more of her. "i've never seen someone try to give themselves up and fail" and in doing so perrin captivated her instantly, she's so loser-sexual haha they have a great vibe between them so far, just kind of a curiosity on both sides and some fun banter, with hints of a deeper connection to come but nothing too overtly flirty yet. i look forward to seeing how the show will manage to get them into a position of kissing by the end of the season - we'll probably get some good development in ep5 with the rescue sequence.

otherwise, not too much from me about the two rivers stuff. it will still be the plotline i'm least interested in like it was in the books, but this time i AM still interested in it rather than finding it boring like i did in the books! i agree with @butterflydm's thought in her review post that us seeing alanna keep a handle on herself after one warder's death makes me suspect maksim will also die later this season, and the double-loss will make her go over the edge and do The Thing in s4. i really loved her and perrin's conversation about grief, i choked up a little! and we get confirmation that perrin does have a family and they're alive haha but conveniently offscreen since there's no time to deal with them (same with tam and abell, i'm guessing that at least with tam they couldn't get the actor back this season because i'd imagine they would've wanted to include him if it had been logistically possible).

now on to the waste crew. not a ton going on for them in these episodes, which i expected, since ep4 will be huge for this storyline. no further avirand interactions, much to my sorrow!!! i really hope they get some good relationship development in the second half of the season (and maybe some interactions in ep4 if avi comes to rhuidean with moiraine and rand to do her own trial). the reveal that egwene's renna dreams aren't only PTSD, but also lanfear deliberately doing that to her constantly in TAR: diabolical and heartbreaking! lanfear's speech to rand about wanting to kill the dark one so she can be free of her oaths is so convincing that it's good we also have the scene of her tormenting egwene to make us remember that she loves being evil and maybe isn't being honest with rand here and/or has ulterior motives for wanting him to kill the dark one. but she puts on such a good performance that we can't help but be taken in!

i believe we got confirmation that there are no choedan kal in showverse, and the strongest male sa'angreal is callandor and the strongest female sa'angreal is the sarkonen (aka the orb moiraine will find in rhuidean). definitely a good move to cut down on the number of Super-Powerful Magic Toys that exist, i think.

randgwene continues to drag on, but it did give me the vision of rand cuddling and soothing someone after a nightmare, and that was very wholesome and made me happy haha i am curious how they'll frame the breakup because right now it feels like there's still a TON of love and long-term intentions there on both sides and feels more like we're watching a rough patch in a strong endgame relationship than the final days of an ill-fated relationship, but we shall see.

moiraine and lan both trying to wingman each other with melindhra was so funny djkfjg (also, if we don't get at least 1 rand sweat tent scene, i will hit the roof! i want that man objectified!) and we've set up an interesting look into lan's backstory and his feelings on malkier & kingship. not a storyline or character arc that ever interested me particularly, but happy for the lan enjoyers getting to see him fleshed out more this season!

okay, that's everything i can think of off the top of my head! loved the multi-episode drop to sink my teeth into the season, but very glad it's only one a week from here on out so i can absorb each individual episode more.

[akkpipitphattana]

i actually cannot get over how much kant and his outlook have completely fucking changed since ep8. like we see hints of it throughout ep8 and 9, but the scene that drives it home is when he's convincing bison to let him help.

like he just the way he talks to bison about it all, it sounds almost like a threat. i am GOING to help you start over, we are GOING to have our future together, even if i have to take down everyone in our way. he doesn't phrase it like a discussion because he's telling bison outright that he's gonna help him whether he likes it or not. but he also doesn't frame it with any doubt. kant believes, wholeheartedly, that they are going to make it out of this and figure it out.

and it's just... it's such a contrast to who he was in the first six episodes. kant spent so much of his life resigned to everything. he never had a choice in anything he did, never had hope that things would work out for him. in ep6 he had to resign himself to the fact that there was no way for him to win, no way out where he was happy because he was going to lose someone no matter what he did. he looked at style's hope and dismissed it because he didn't think it was for him, that nothing had ever worked out for him before, he had no reason to believe this would.

like i keep thinking about kant in that interview from before the show aired, saying he doesn't have any dreams. i think about kant in ep5 saying that if he hadn't had other things going on, he may have actually had the potential to play basketball professionally. i think about kant in ep9 saying he never got to play as a kid, either, cause he had to grow up fast to take care of babe. kant, who spent his whole life taking care of his brother and never got to live for himself. kant, who never dared to dream, never dared to hope, now dreaming and hoping and willing to do anything he can to get himself and the man he loves the life they deserve.

i said that kant jumping in the water was a baptism, and i think seeing this new version of kant proves it so much. when kant jumped into the water, he left that old version of him behind. he woke up after that, in a warm bed, in clean clothes, safe and dry, and he knew without a doubt that bison loved him and wouldn't hurt him. and that revelation alone allowed him to finally, for once, see a future for himself. bison saw kant as a way out in the beginning, and that's exactly what kant knows bison as now. his way out, his future, his hope. and the fact that he isn't willing to take no for an answer, that he's not only sure but willing to fight and do whatever needs to be done to get them that future.

like it's just. kant, finally beloved and not willing to let that love go no matter what it takes. kant, the powerless, now kant, taking back his power. kant, the resigned, now kant, the fighter. kant, the hopeless now kant, the hopeful.

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 11

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep12)

Ahhh, once again I didn't manage to publish this before the new (and final, this time 😭) episode. I was busy studying with my Thai language study buddy (that is I was asking him a million questions about the vocabulary in this episode) (at this point he's actually kinda invested in the show from what I've told him about it and from the scenes I've shown him lmao) and I was also busy hanging out with my other Thai friend who basically only speaks Thai. Oh and then I also got my period and I was so sleepy, I could barely form a coherent thought. Whoops. But hey, better late then never. I'd also love to drop the ep12 meta next Wednesday since there will be no new episode, but there is no way I'll make it. Once I post this post here I'd only have about two days to write the ep12 meta and that's simply just not enough time considering how long these metas have gotten. Oh well. Enough with the rambling.

ENJOY <3

(This one's at 19.7k words, btw. Counting only the meta part without the introduction. Including the introduction it's at just over 20k. Didn't I say I'd hit 20k by the finale? lmao)

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise.

To recap: Last episode, the hitman brothers found out some truths about Lilly. Their normie-boyfriends finally got to help them on their mission. Another truth bomb was dropped onto Fadel, shattering him. And Style was there right next to him, picking up the pieces.

No. 1: More Meetings and More Plans

Our foursome gathers to exchange Keen's boyfriend for dirt on Lilly. Since this is mostly between the brothers, both Style and Kant take a step back during the exchange. Style watches attentively, his expression serious. That is, until Keen finally has his boyfriend back and Style watches them hug.

He is very clearly touched and I absolutely adore that we get to see this little private moment of Style being happy for them. Because he did tell us (or rather told Fadel) in episode 8:

I'm a romantic person. กูมันเป็นคนโรแมนติก [guu - man - bpen - kon roh-maen-dtìk] I - [marker] - be - romantic person Official subs: I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm easily tricked by touching things. โดนหลอกด้วยอะไรซึ้งๆง่าย [dohn lòhk - dûuay - à-rai - séung séung - ngâai] be tricked, deceived - by, through - something - touching - easy Official subs: Can't help it that love stories touch me.

Style just loves love. And I just love how consistent his characterization has stayed about this. Style even comments on the fact that he was touched: "I almost shed tears seeing how much they love each other." Fadel replies "I'd have done the same thing for you" and Style looks at him fondly.

Then, Kant brings the conversation back to the Lilly thing and with that Style goes back to serious mode. Kant doesn't want Bison to kill Lilly and suggests he'll talk to Captain Christ in case there's a way. Style pulls Fadel towards him and assures him determinedly that "We'll do anything to keep you out of jail". Style's face is full of concern as he says this. Style is so earnest in his promise, he really means it from the bottom of his heart. He already hated the idea of Fadel going to jail all throughout episode 6, and now it's becoming a potential reality again. A reality that Style desperately doesn't want to face. And if we're being real, Fadel going to jail is something that Style has dreaded since episode 5 already:

Kant sighs and says he wants to end things quickly and then foretells what their happy ending is going to be: "Once those two get arrested, we walk free." But Style stares gloomily into the air and gives a near invisible head shake, almost as if he disagrees with Kant's words, as if to say But that's not what MY happy ending looks like.

(Quoted from my ep5 meta.)

Fadel steps closer to hug Style in response to his promise. Kant sends Style an almost questioning nod over Bison's shoulder, as if to ask whether Style is going to help him with Captain Christ. Style nods firmly in return. Of course he is.

Now allow me to skip the scene in which Style and Kant make their deal with Captain Christ. I didn't find it all that interesting to look at and also, I need that section cover pic gone in favor or more gifs lmao. Both Style and Kant are very self-assured when they talk to Captain Christ. They are confident that their plan is going to work, that's the main take-away.

No. 2: Future Old Man Yaoi

Style excitedly introduces Fadel to his friend and announces that his friend can do fake passports and stuff. Fadel nods a polite nod and smiles a polite smile, but looks otherwise very unconvinced. Style makes a confused face about it while Fadel pulls him aside. You can literally see the silent of question of What's wrong, why are you looking like that? in Style's eyes.

Fadel asks what Style is doing. "Making you a fake passport, duh. In case you need to run." This seemed pretty self-explanatory to Style, but apparently it wasn't. Fadel asks "Didn't you say Kant made a deal with that captain?" and Style says he doesn't trust Captain Christ. And this is interesting, because in episode 8 Fadel actually chided Style for trusting people too easily. But not Captain Christ. Style doesn't trust Captain Christ a single bit. Only a moment ago he confidently told Captain Christ "Promise is a promise", but in reality Style isn't confident at all that Captain Christ will actually keep his promise. Or rather, Style is confident that Captain Christ will, in fact, break it. "Cops are always looking for ways to up their ranks, right?" Style really said ACAB, huh?

Fadel still doesn't see the point of the fake passport. "Where do you think I'll go with a fake passport?" Style comes back with an entire multi-step plan. And that's yet another interesting thing about this scene: it's as if their personalities suddenly switched. The person who plans every single detail of their life suddenly doesn't have a plan, while the person who mostly runs on impulse and instinct and who tends to just go with the flow has it all planned out. Because it's that important to Style. Fadel's well-being and Fadel's freedom is that important to Style. And because that way, he'll still get to be with Fadel, will get to be right next to him. Fadel won't be taken away from him and locked away in a place Style can't easily reach. And that matters to Style so much that he now sits down and starts making plans. Back in episode 2 Style said "When you know you meet the right one, you do whatever it takes to get them" and now here Style is, doing whatever it takes to keep his right one right by his side.

But Fadel still finds something to bitch about: "It takes 20 years for these cases to expire. We'll be old men by that time." But Style doesn't see the problem. "So what if we're old? I'll still wanna be with you." And again, Style is so earnest when he says he wants to be with Fadel. Of course Style wants to be with Fadel even when and until they are old men. Of course the future Style pictures for himself still has Fadel in it. It's the most self-evident thing in the world, absolutely zero discussion needed.

Fadel stares at Style. It finally really hits Fadel what and why Style is doing all this for. He takes Style's hand and says: "Thank you for doing all this for me. I don't think I love myself half as much as you love me." This meta series is about Style, but let me just share the Thai wording here, because it has me a little insane:

I guess I don't yet love myself as much as you love me. กูยังไม่รักตัวเองเท่าที่มึงรักกูเลยมั้ง [guu - yang - mâi - rák - dtuua eng - tâo tîi - mueng - rák - guu - loiie - máng] I - yet - not - love - myself - as much as - you - love - me - [particle] - maybe

Fadel says he doesn't love himself yet. Not yet!! Right now he doesn't yet love himself, but he will in the future!! Fadel is trying, you guys!! Style's love makes him want to love himself and Style is showing him exactly how to do it. Because loving Fadel really is the easiest thing in the world for Style, no matter how difficult to love Fadel thinks he is.

Style lifts his other hand to grab Fadel's hand holding his. "Trust me on this. Just get this done. We don't know what could happen." Style is so very concerned about Fadel and the situation and he's just trying to be prepared for anything that they might be up against. Because there is no way Style will give up Fadel and their relationship without a fight. Because he couldn't bare to lose Fadel. Style already hated that thought all the way back in episode 5, and now, after everything they've been through, he hates that thought even more. The thought of not being with Fadel really stresses him out. And so Style starts making plans. Style adds that he'll get Bison a fake passport, too. Fadel nods and swallows and then asks if Style's friend is trustworthy. Style is absolutely sure of it and Fadel huffs, and then, after another moment, finally agrees to do the fake passport. For Style.

No. 3: Birthday Surprises

Last episode Lilly hired Kant for that rich lady's birthday party and Style got himself hired too. And I just love the difference between Kant and Style: Kant is clearly uncomfortable with the ladies throwing themselves at him, meanwhile Style is thriving. After all, making friends with as well as charming older women is Style's specialty. Whether it's the lady at the market, the lady at the motel or these ladies right here at this party, Style's got them all wrapped around his finger. He really is absolutely perfect for this job.

At some point Kant sends Style to get Lilly more wine and we watch as Style spikes the drink. With that, our poisoning quartet is complete — we have now seen all four main character's spike someone's drink. Lilly takes a sip of it and shortly afterwards Kant reveals her secret. She runs off to the bathroom. Style and Kant happily raise their glasses towards each other in a silent toast. Success.

That happiness doesn't last for very long, though, because minutes later they both run into the bathroom to stop their boyfriends from committing yet another murder. "You promised me. You promised you won't kill anyone again." Fun fact, Style phrases it a little more like a question in Thai:

You promised me, didn't you? That you won't kill anyone again. มึงสัญญากับกูแล้วไม่ใช่หรอ ว่าจะไม่ฆ่าใครอีกอ่ะ [mueng - săn-yaa - gàp - guu - láew - mâi châi - rŏr • wâa - jà - mâi - kâa - krai - ìik - àh] you - promise - with - me - already - no - ? • that - will - not - kill - anyone - again - [particle]

It's on Fadel now how he's gonna answer that question. Kant says his own bit to get Bison to lower his gun and then it's Style's turn. "Fadel. I want a future with you." And again, let me just...

I still want a future with you. กูยังอยากมี��นาคตกับมึงนะเว้ย [guu - yang - yàak - mii - à-naa-kót - gàp - mueng - ná wóiie] I - still - want - have - future - with - you - [particle]

Style still wants a future with Fadel. But he can't have that future if Fadel makes certain choices. Style won't get that future. If Fadel makes the choice of shooting Lilly now, then he might be denying Style the future that Style so desperately wants. A future with Fadel. A future that Style still wants to have, a future that Style hasn't given up on yet. "Just forget the past," Style asks of Fadel. After a long moment of hesitation and contemplation, Fadel finally puts the gun down, tears still streaming down his face. Kant tells them "You two should go. We'll deal with things here." Style looks at Fadel and in a gentle, but serious voice says: "Don’t worry. We'll see each other again." Fadel sniffs and hands Style his gun. That's an 8 on the Style + gun counter. I really do think the writers are just mocking me now. Style didn't shoot anyone this episode and I just really can't see him shoot anyone in the finale either. Especially now that Keen is dealt with and Lilly is also out of the way. And the episode preview also didn't have the vibe for a shooting. All those references to Style and shooting guns were really just there to drive me personally up the wall, huh? Well, at least it's been keeping me entertained over the past few weeks.

Also, while I'm already off on a tangent, I also just wanna share @nabi-unveiled's thoughts real quick, because they are absolutely beautiful and I cry:

So Kant took Bison's gun, but Fadel gave Style his. While Bison says he wants out of the hitman life, he's so explosive that the only way out is for someone to force him and help take his gun. For Fadel, no one could take it from him unless he chose to give it up. He's willingly giving it up for Style. Style isn't forcing his hand. It's Fadel choosing to place his life in Style's hands.

Fadel places his life in Style's hands leaves Style with the gun, telling him to be careful. What really bothers me about this translation, though, is that together with the action of Fadel handing over the gun this phrasing makes it sound like Fadel is speaking a warning along the lines of be careful with the gun, it's dangerous, don't hurt yourself with it, when really he's saying goodbye:

Take care of yourself. ดูแลตัวเองนะ [duu-lae - dtuua eng - ná] take care - yourself - [na]

Fadel uses the word ดูแล [duu-lae] here, which means "to take care" or "to look after". If he had meant to say "be careful" in the sense of "watch out for danger" then he would have been using the word ระวัง [rá-wang] instead, which means "to be careful" or "to watch out" or "to be cautious".

The brothers walk out of the bathroom. Style and Kant stay back to deal with Lilly.

No. 4: Surrender

Once Style and Kant have dealt with Lilly, they meet their boyfriends at Kant's car to send them off. Style hands Fadel the fake passports and once again emphasizes that the brothers shouldn't contact them and should wait for Style and Kant to follow them instead. Kant also exchanges a few words with Bison who worries about Kant and Style's safety. Kant says "We should focus on making sure you two are safe" and Fadel turns to Style and urgently tells him: "Style. Listen to me. If they torture you for information, don't put up with it. Just confess." He ends with: "Don't you dare get hurt, you hear me?" Now let me talk about the Thai line for a second:

Absolutely do not let yourself get hurt, okay? อย่ายอมเจ็บตัวเด็ดขาดโอเคป่ะ [yàa - yohm - jèp dtuua - dèt kàat - okay - bpà] don't - agree, let - hurt yourself, get hurt - absolutely - okay - ?

Fadel uses the word ยอม [yohm] here which the dictionary thai2english defines as:

[to] agree; consent; let (usually against one's wishes)

And to me that sounds like Fadel is telling him don't consent to them hurting you, don't consent to torture. The official subs are a little vague here, the "don't get hurt" can be taken as a general warning as well. Of course from the context you can infer that this is about the police torturing Style, but in the original wording Fadel is very explicit about the fact that the "don't get hurt" part refers to the police (or anyone else who wants to hurt Style to get to Fadel) and he specifically instructs Style not to willingly take on the pain and consent to receiving injuries just to keep Fadel safe.

But that goes against everything who Style is as a person. There is absolutely no way he is gonna betray his loved ones even if it kills him. It's ride or die for him. But Fadel hates the thought of Style dying. "Style, I'm being serious. They really could kill you." But Style is also serious about not betraying Fadel. "You don't have to worry. I have a knack for surviving." Fadel lets it go, semi-reassured. By now he knows better than to argue with Style. Style will out-stubborn him, if Style is set on something.

Fadel goes on to say a few words of thanks to Kant, too. Afterwards, Fadel looks to Style again who throws him a very warm, reassuring look. It'll be fine, everything will be fine. As usual, Style remains hopeful and optimistic.

Kant says the brothers should get going and our couples go in for a goodbye hug which barely even lasts a second before Captain Christ shows up to crash the party.

And like last episode, chatty cat Style stays completely silent. Kant does all the talking this time. I think Style isn't as terrified this time around as he was last episode in the hotel room, and this time around he's not terrified especially for his life, but he's definitely very concerned and even more worried about the hitman brothers' freedom. I think Style also keeps quiet, because Kant has much more of a relationship with Captain Christ than Style does and he trusts Kant to be able to solve this mess. Kant is trying his best to negotiate with Captain Christ, even downright blackmails him. But Captain Christ insists that he can't let the brothers walk free. When he offers to reduce the brother's sentence down to five years, the brothers surrender. Bison explains that he's tired of running and that five years in prison is preferable to spending your whole life running away, because "If it has to be like that, I'll never get to really live." And now Style just has to speak up after all, because he really doesn't trust those cops: "Hey. You don't know if these cops will keep their word. What'd you do if the final sentence is death?"

To make this line hit harder, as @secriden pointed out in this post: The death penalty is still a thing in Thailand. I also went ahead and looked up some info on it:

Under the Penal Code alone, the death sentence can be applied to 35 crimes, ranging from offences against the King, treason, murder, rape in which the victim is killed and arson, to robbery which results in death. [...] According to the Thai Penal Code, prisoners who receive the death sentence can appeal for a royal pardon. The appeal must be made within 60 days of the verdict. Each prisoner can appeal only once. If the pardon is granted, execution will be commuted to life imprisonment. It is never known in advance when a death warrant is to be issued, and executions are performed only once in a while. Usually a death warrant arrives in the morning and the execution takes place in the evening of the same day. Before the day of execution, the police will take fingerprints from the prisoner to compare them to those in the prisoner's file to ensure that the wrong person is not executed. (source)

Murder is amongst the crimes one can be sentenced to death for, a crime that the brothers have carried out repeatedly. According to Wikipedia, executions are something that are carried out only sporadically these days, but it is still a very real possibility that Fadel and Bison could be facing. And it's an outcome Style would rather not see happening. Kant agrees and asks Captain Christ "How can I trust you?" to which Captain Christ claims "I never go back on my word." Uh-huh. Sure. Nevertheless, Kant lets the decision up to the brothers. Style doesn't say anything either. There's not much to be done in this situation right now. Kant manages to bargain another 24 hours of freedom. The cops leave and this time the clock of their last day together starts ticking for real. And unlike in episode 6, this time everyone involved is aware of it, too.

No. 5: Comfort

Fadel and Style have ended up sitting outside Style's garage. Style, our usual optimistic ball of sunshine is staring gloomily into the air. This is the exact outcome that he's been dreading the most (save for maybe Fadel's actual death). Style is still holding it together fairly well, but he's struggling to stay positive about this. Fadel tries to cheer him up. "You did your best." But Style's best wasn't enough. He'll still be separated from Fadel. All his efforts were for nothing. Fadel will be taken away from him once their 24 hours are up and there's absolutely nothing Style can do about it to change that now. "If I found out earlier, you wouldn't have to go to jail." Style's voice sounds miserable and it's yet another sign of how upset he really is inside. Fadel can tell that for once Style can't see the bright side of things and tries to reassure him with even more urgency that this outcome isn't as bad as it seems. In fact, this is one of the two endings he'd been prepared for: jail or death. And going to jail on account of murder for only five years is as good of an ending as it gets. But Style, beacon of hope and optimism, still can't see the bright side, because even if Fadel will be okay (and most importantly: alive), it doesn't change the fact that Fadel will be ripped away from him and that he won't get to stay right by Fadel's side. "I don't want you gone for even a day." Actually, in Thai these words are the subtext, not the main text. In Thai Style makes it more about Fadel:

I don't want you to go (to jail) even for a day. กูไม่อยากมึงเข้าเลยสักวัน [guu - mâi - yàak - mueng - kâo - loiie - sàk wan] I - not - want - you - enter, get in(to) - [particle] - just one day

When they talk about going to jail, they say เข้าคุก [kâo kúk] which literally translates to "entering jail". In the above sentence, Style doesn't explicitly repeat the word "jail" but he does use the verb เข้า [kâo] (= to enter) and so it's clear he's referring to him not wanting Fadel to go to jail even for a single day. So Style not wanting to be without Fadel for even a day is actually the unspoken thing here. Explicitly he states that he doesn't want Fadel to be in jail for even a day and while Style definitely doesn't want Fadel to be far (ish) away from him, I think Fadel's happiness is certainly also an aspect of why Style doesn't want Fadel imprisoned. Style wants Fadel to have freedom and be happy. Style wants Fadel to finally live a life free of killing people. Style wants Fadel to finally live the life Fadel wants to live, not the life other people think Fadel should live (or that Fadel thinks other people think he should live). In episode 6 Style told Fadel "Try just being someone you want to be. We'll do it together. There's nothing to be afraid of" but with Fadel going to prison there is no "try being who you want to be". There is no "we'll do it together". Style looks at Fadel with the biggest sad puppy eyes.

Fadel looks away for a moment. Right now he can point out the bright side of things to Style, but there is nothing Fadel can change about the fact that he'll be taken to jail. This is the one thing he can't do make Style happy again. Fadel looks back at Style and tries to reassure him again anyway: "I have to take responsibility for what I did. I can't change the past. This could be a chance for me to start over. I want to be a good man who deserves everything you do for me." And here's a more literal translation for those who are curious:

I want to be a good person who is worth the fighting you do for me. กูอยากเป็นคนดีให้คุ้มกับที่มึงสู้เพื่อกู [guu - yàak - bpen - kon dii - hâi - kúm gàp - tîi - mueng - sûu - pêuua - guu] I - want - be - good person - that - be worth(while) - that - you - fight - for - me

(Alt. translation: [...] who is worth the effort you put in for me.)

I just adore that Fadel explicitly brings up Style fighting for him specifically, not just a general "what you do for me". Because Style has been fighting hard all episode. In fact, Style has been fighting for Fadel for a long time now. Not just for Fadel's freedom, but Style has also been fighting for their relationship (even when Fadel was the one blocking him) and also for Fadel's mental health (pulling Fadel out of bad thoughts whenever he was stuck in a downward spiral). And Fadel acknowledges this fight and he wants to live up to it.

Lastly, Fadel says: "We have one day together. I want to make the most out of it." Style doesn't say anything and I think he's actually waiting for Fadel to continue talking, to elaborate on what exactly it is that he wants to do. But Fadel only smiles at Style tenderly. And I just love the role reversal here, because so many times it's been Style who has given Fadel encouraging smiles, but this time around Style is miserable, Style is struggling to stay positive, Style can't even bring himself to smile and it's Fadel who returns the exact kind of smile he's received from Style over and over again over the course of the series. For once, Style gets to be on the receiving end of it.

Since Fadel doesn't elaborate, Style tells him: "What you want to do, where to go, what to eat, just let me know. I'll take you anywhere." His voice still sounds like he's about to cry any moment now. Fadel smiles again. What a very Style thing of Style to immediately offer to pamper Fadel. But Fadel doesn't need anything big for their last 24 hours together. "I just want to do something simple," he says, "Go where we feel comfortable, with just you and me." Or more accurately:

It's enough if we go to our spots of just you and me. ไปในที่ของเราให้มีมึงกับกูก็พอ [bpai - nai - tîi - kŏng rao - hâi - mii - mueng - gàp - guu - gôh paw] go - in - place, spot - of us, our - that - have - you - and - me - it's enough

Fadel doesn't just wanna go to random places where they can feel comfortable and at ease, Fadel wants to go specifically to their places, to their spots that hold significance in their relationship. And we'll see that later in the episode when Style mentions that they were gonna go get breakfast at the market aka one of their spots (before Style's dad talks them into having breakfast at home instead) and when they go to the Rise Up meeting location, another place that's very specific to Fadel and Style and the development of their relationship.

And again Style lets the choice of how and where exactly Fadel wants to spend his last 24 hours of freedom entirely up to him. Style will gladly do anything and go anywhere Fadel wants to do and go as long as Fadel is happy during these last 24 hours they have together. And yes, in reality it's also Style's last day with Fadel and so Style should also get a say in what they do, but his own wants are really not that important to him right now. All that matters to him right now is that Fadel is happy. Because if Fadel is happy, then Style is happy, too. Because "it makes me happy just seeing your smile". That's what Style told Fadel the first time he thought he was having a "last day" with Fadel back in episode 6 and it's even more true now.

Style's voice is still serious and down when says the choice is Fadel's, but now he doesn't sound like he's on the verge of crying anymore. Fadel lights up and asks "Can we start by hugging you for 10 minutes straight?" For the first time in this entire scene, Style smiles. It's a very small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes the way it usually does, but a smile it is.

Absolutely they can hug for ten minutes straight. Style nods and Fadel immediately buries his face in Style's neck. The smile on Style's face from just now immediately falls again. Fadel kisses his neck and Style looks so very sad.

He'll accept Fadel's choice to go to prison if that's what Fadel wants, but Style is really struggling with it. He can't bear to be separated from Fadel. On the outside Style might be holding it together, but I think on the inside he's already starting to fall apart. "Take your time," Style tells Fadel. Fadel isn't the only one who really needs this ten minute hug right now. And part of me wonders if maybe Fadel didn't necessarily suggest the ten minute hug for himself, but rather for Style, because he can tell how miserable Style is.

What I love the most about this scene is that we finally get to see Fadel comforting Style for once. Because so many times we've watched Style be there for Fadel, watched him comfort Fadel, watched him pull Fadel out of his dark mental place, watched him fight Fadel's negative view of himself. And even when Style was really upset about something, he never really got any comfort from Fadel. For example, in episode 4 Style spent a lot of time being extremely angry and hurt from Fadel ditching him after sleeping with him. And he also openly voices his anger and his hurt to Fadel (in the diner as well as at the Rise Up meeting). But in the end, in the greenhouse it's Style who's comforting Fadel and is there for him, when really Fadel should be the one making it up to Style and to try and patch things up with him. Or in episode 8, when Style is crying in the motel from all the trauma that Fadel had put him through that day: Fadel wants to comfort Style but in the end he doesn't and Style is still left to cry himself to sleep alone and he never knows about Fadel almost breaking after all. Style spends that night uncomforted (and remember, Style went through a lot: his best friend could potentially be dead, he had a near-death experience himself, he is worried sick about his dad and what losing the only family he has left might do to him, and on top of that Style's relationship is also on the line) and the next day just Fadel keeps being grumpy at him while Style swallows it all and puts on his cheerful face. And Fadel never even apologizes for any of it, while Style works really hard to make everything he ever did wrong up to Fadel.

So it's absolutely wonderful to see how Fadel is now finally in a place where he can comfort Style back and be there for him, too, when Style is feeling down. Usually Style is the character who's always optimistic about everything, who always finds the bright side of things and always keeps smiling no matter how bleak everything seems. And the fact that for once Style is entirely unable to find the sunshine in the rain really highlights and shows us just how devastated Style is about Fadel's arrest and their impending separation. And while it may seem like Style is holding it together fairly well, in reality he is completely and utterly crushed, so much so that he actually fails to find and see the bright side in this situation. And so Fadel does it for him. For the first time it's Fadel who stays positive, it's Fadel who looks for the bright side and points it out to Style. And Fadel is trying so hard to make Style see that bright side that usually Style always immediately seeks out. It's absolutely beautiful to watch.

And while I do think Fadel very much does need the ten minute hug himself, I think it's also part of the comfort he's offering to Style in this scene. Because he can tell that Style is trying to keep it together and to stay strong for Fadel and I think Fadel knows Style would never outright ask for comfort, because he wouldn't wanna burden Fadel even more with the additional worry about Style's well-being when Fadel already has to carry the burden of going to jail. And so I think Fadel asks for that hug on behalf of Style so that Style can hold onto him under the guise of it being for Fadel and Fadel's needs and Style can continue to seem like he's staying strong (though Style does show his vulnerability when he tells Fadel "take your time". With that he's telling Fadel Please don't let go of me just yet, please just keep holding me, I really need this right now). At the same time the hug lets Fadel hold onto Style as well, something that Fadel really needs right now, too. They get to hold onto and hold each other. The comfort is mutual.

No. 6: Family Breakfast with a Side of Marriage

It's the next day and Style is in a significantly better mood again. He's back to the Style that always stays positive. The boys greet Style's dad who immediately teases Fadel. "You're here often now, aren't you? This ain't no hotel, you know?" Fun fact, in Thai he's very direct in the first sentence already:

You come to sleep at my house quite often. มานอนบ้านกูบ่อยเลยนะ [maa - nawn - bâan guu - bòi - loiie - ná] come - sleep - my house - often - [particle for emphasis] - [particle]

This is the third time in the series that we were shown that Fadel slept at Style's place and the dad subsequently learned about it. I don't think three times is all that much, especially since we have no idea how much time has passed since the first time Fadel ran into Style's dad back in episode 6, so I'm gonna take this to mean that Fadel has spent many more nights at Style's place that we never got to see and most importantly, he most definitely spent the night at Style's place after sobbing his heart out on Style's lap at the end of last episode.

Although Style immediately shoots down both his dad's teasing as well as my headcanon right the next sentence:

It's not that often, no? ไม่บ่อยขนาดนั้นป่ะ [mâi - bòi - kà-nàat nán - bpà] not - often - that much - ? Official subs: He's not here often enough, more like.

Maybe this really is only the third time, after all. Style then mentions that they're going to get breakfast at the market and I'm happy the market gets at least a last mention. It is one of their spots after all. But Style's dad talks them into having breakfast at home. Fadel is a bit hesitant at first, but Style's dad orders them to sit down, because "You're dating Style. You're as good as being my family." Style throws Fadel a very satisfied look. His dad considering Fadel as basically his family is most definitely something Style is very pleased to hear. And so am I, because I was really hoping Style's dad would adopt Fadel. The boys sit down and Style immediately starts bragging about Fadel's burger making skills.

Style has some friendly banter with his dad and then at some point his dad turns to Fadel and asks "Well, Fadel. What are your plans for the future? Are you going to flip burgers for the rest of your life?" Style's happy face immediately turns serious when he looks over at Fadel. It's a risky question, considering Fadel most definitely will not be flipping burgers for at least the next five years. But Fadel says "It's my favorite thing to do. I guess I'll keep doing it" and Style is back to cheerfully bantering with his dad when his dad suggests Fadel opens a franchise. All Style's dad has to say to his son's teasing, though, is: "Hey, you gotta plan these things out thoroughly if you want to keep seeing each other. And since gay marriage is legal now, you two should definitely do that." And now I understand why we had to wait for what felt like forever for the series to air after they finished shooting. Even though we really weren't waiting all that long anyway, let's be real. I'm assuming they made sure to strategically air this episode until after the day same-sex marriage bill officially took effect on in Thailand (for future reference: this episode aired 13 days later). And yeah. This is the fourth reference to marriage we've gotten around Fadel and Style (here's the first one, if you missed the untranslatable pun). If they don't actually get married next episode, I'm going to fly to Thailand and personally strangle P'Jojo and his writers a little bit with my own two hands.

Fadel quietly smiles to himself while Style is a little bit done™ (affectionate) with his dad: "Don't jump the gun, old man. We just started dating." Actually, what Style says to his dad in Thai in the first sentence is "Don't 'wer'!":

อย่าพูดเวอร์ดิ [yàa - pûut - wer - dì] don't - speak - wer (over) - [particle]

If you forgot what the slang term เวอร์ [wer] means or you if you didn't read my ep3 or ep10 meta, let me just quickly drop my explanation from last week's meta here:

One of my irl-friends explained it to me a few months ago and I don't remember her exact wording (it was an oral conversation while we were out and about, not a written one) but she told me it comes from the English word "over" and it is used in the context of indicating that someone is being too much in the sense of someone is overdoing something (someone is doing/saying something that is "over" the level that the situation calls for). This article translates this slang term as "exaggerate" or "overstate" or "overreact".

So yeah, Style is more or less telling his dad not to be so extra with his words, because Style only just started dating Fadel. But his dad doesn't care. "Whatever. If you're getting married, do it before I die." Fadel and Style look at each other. Style's smile disappears from his face again. Their hands find each other under the table out of sight from Style's dad. If only they actually could get married soon. But they can't. Not for another five long years. But the truth isn't exactly something they can just share at the family breakfast table. Sorry, we can't get married, because I'm/my boyfriend is going to prison for a few years, because I/he regularly murdered people. Imagine that. But Fadel finds a way to smoothly talk himself out of this sticky situation. "Give me five years," he says. Style swallows. He hates those five years. Fadel continues. "I just want to save up enough money and I'll come talk to you, Dad." Now this is a language/cultural thing that doesn't really work in English, because first of all, you wouldn't call your friend's parents "mom" and "dad" and second of all, Fadel is actually using the word "dad" as a pronoun here, which is also strange in English, because you would be talking in 3rd person here, if you're directly addressing the dad:

Then I'll come talk to dad again. เดี๋ยวผมมาคุยกับพ่ออีกทีนะครับ [dĭieow - pŏm - maa - kui - gàp - pôh - ìik tii - ná - kráp] moment - I - come - talk, chat - with - dad - another time - [na] - [krub]

Style's dad is very delighted and pleased at being called "dad" by his son's boyfriend (as opposed to "uncle"), though he teases Fadel about it. His dad's reaction has Style smile again. Actually, I just adore this silent communication between Style and his dad here so much:

I think Style is quite happy to see how his dad is so chill about Fadel, so open to and almost kind of excited about accepting Fadel as a member of his family, especially considering we now know that this is the first time Style has brought anyone home and we also know from episode 5 that Style was really worried about his dad's reaction to him liking men. A few of you are likely familiar with the relief that Style must be feeling here. And then his dad also acknowledges it with a smile and a nod at his son... Please. I think I might cry.

No. 7: Paintball

After breakfast Fadel and Style go play paintball. I've seen some posts in the tags about how this seems "out of character" and also about how they (as well as Kant and Bison) should have spent their last 24 hours in bed together and that it's unrealistic that they wouldn't have slept together one last time. Of course, the paintball is mostly there to be a homage to the movie the series is based on, but it really doesn't bother me that it's there.

First of all, regarding those claims that it's unrealistic that they didn't sleep with each other... Well, it's canon that Fadel spent the night at Style's place and we didn't see them between their ten minute hug outside the garage and the next morning when they had breakfast. There is a gap in the story, so you can imagine all kinds of things that may have gone down once they reached Style's bedroom. You can write fanfiction about it. That's what the fanfiction gap is for. I say go write fanfiction about it. You know Joong wants you to.

Second of all, I think it ties in with the quote from episode 6 I already mentioned earlier: "Try just being someone you want to be. We'll do it together." I think in a way the paintball is a parallel to the concert in episode 6. Back then, Style was also spending a last day (night) with Fadel and while Fadel was entirely unaware of the fact that it could have been their last night together, they were still doing something that Fadel loved, they were doing something where Fadel could be himself. And if you've been following my meta series you'll know that Style has been trying to get Fadel to loosen up from the very first episode already. So I love this paintball scene, because even when Fadel was enjoying himself at the concert, his joy still seemed a little dimmed, as if he was a bit shy to fully let loose. But now, playing paintball, it must be the most carefree we've ever seen Fadel in the entire series so far. Fadel is being silly, and he's enjoying being silly with his boyfriend without any restraints, without feeling embarrassed about it even in the slightest. And I really thank the paintball scene to give me a glimpse of this side of Fadel.

Third of all, I like that they're not just spending all day staying in bed together, because honestly, that sounds kind of depressing to me. Because it would feel like you're just waiting for the clock to tick down, with the impending doom so painfully there in bed with them. And so I like that they're going out and are able to enjoy themselves, distracting themselves from and even entirely forgetting about what is waiting for them at the end of the day. I like that, even for just a brief moment, they get to be the most happy without the dark cloud of Fadel going to prison looming over them. They can just be themselves.

And fourth of all, I think Fadel is also doing it for Style. Because Fadel knows positivity is how Style deals with things. And slowly watching the clock tick down would break Style, so Fadel goes out to do something fun with Style. And Fadel fully lets loose for the first time and he turns into the sweetest boyfriend for Style, something that Fadel never really got be before. At least not with everything completely out in the open and with both parties fully aware of all the truths. Fadel has just one day of freedom left, just one last day in his relationship with Style (or so Fadel thinks), Fadel has nothing left to lose and so he turns into the sweetest boyfriend, almost like a goodbye present to Style. He's leaving Style with happy memories to look back on, memories full of laughter and joy.

And so I really don't mind that we got the paintball scenes in place of a bedroom scene. Besides, I'm never gonna say no to JoongDunk having fun on camera while being cute, whether it's DaoKluen playing around at the fish market, JokeZo chasing each other in the park, or now FadelStyle having the time of their lives playing paintball. At this point let me also just say, I love how Style complains about Fadel suddenly kissing his cheek, but at the same time basically presents his cheek for Fadel to kiss. Also, I'm sad we never got to see them sit intertwined like this in the series itself, so of course I gotta at the very least commemorate it here (courtesy of Dunk, I owe him my life 🙏):

When they are cleaning the paint off of each other, Style asks "Are you gonna be so sweet to me like this all day?" and if you've read my ep9 meta, then you'll know this has been a bit of a linguistic theme that got lost in translation. But more on that in a second, when another word also makes a return.

Fadel agrees that he's going to be sweet all day. Style is absolutely ready for it and says "It's too bad I didn't get to see your sweet side from the get-go. You wasted all that time being so mean to me." The word that Style uses for "mean" is โหด [hòht], which you may remember from my ep9 meta:

Style uses the word โหด [hòht] which is a word I actually discussed with my Thai friend after episode 7 and he explained that it can be translated in a few different ways depending on context, but usually it means "cruel" or "aggressive" or "brutal". I'm gonna go with "harsh" as a translation to have some consistency, because I feel like this word could work for all the lines that I'm about to drop.

I'm also just gonna bring some old lines back, for comparison (and I'm still sticking with "harsh" as a translation). Because "harsh" vs. "sweet" has been a bit of a theme, especially recently. In episode 4, when Style showed up in the kitchen he told Fadel:

No matter how harsh you are, I'm still hooked on you. มึงโหดแค่ไหนอ่ะ กูก็ยังติดใจมึงอยู่ดี [mueng - hòht - kâe năi - àh • guu - gôh - yang - dtìt-jai - mueng - yùu dii] you - harsh - how much - [particle] • I - [sentence link] - still - hooked - you - anyway Official subs: It doesn't matter how scary you are, I'm still hooked.

Then, in episode 7 when Fadel surprise attacked Style with a shower of kisses at the garage, Fadel had following complaint to Style:

When I'm sweet, you don't like it. ตอนกูหวานมึงก็ไม่ชอบ [dton - guu - wăan - mueng - gôr - mâi - chôp] when - I - sweet - you - [sentence link] - not - like Official subs: You don't like me being nice. When I'm harsh, you still scold me. ตอนกูโหดมึงก็ด่ากู [dton - guu - hòht - mueng - gôr - dàa - guu] when - I - harsh - you - [sentence link] - scold - me Official subs: You complain when I'm cold.

In episode 9, before they kissed in the ocean, Style teased Fadel:

Even when you're this harsh, you're still sweet with me. นี่ขนาดโหดนะเนี่ย ยังหวานกับกูเลย [nîi - kà-nàat hòht - ná - nîia • yang - wăan - gàp - guu - loiie] [interjection] - this harsh - [particle] - [particle] • still - sweet - with - me - [particle] Official subs: Even when you're threatening me, you're worried about me.

And moments later Style told him:

From now on I want you to use only your sweet side. ต่อไปนี้กูอยากให้มึงใช้แต่ด้านหวาน [dtòh bpai níi - guu - yàak - hâi - mueng - chái - dtàe - dâan wăan] from now on - I - want - that - you - use - only - sweet side Official subs: From now on, I just want to see you being lovey-dovey.

And the theme of "harsh" and "sweet" is coming back around in episode 11 when Style says:

What a pity I didn't get to see your sweetness from the beginning. เสียดายนะ ไม่ได้เห็นความหวานของมึงตั้งแต่แรกอ่ะ [sĭia daai - ná • mâi dâai - hĕn - kwaam wăan - kŏng mueng - dtâng dtàe râek - àh] pity - [particle] • didn't - see - sweetness - of you, your - from the beginning - [particle] Official subs: It's too bad I didn't get to see your sweet side from the get-go. You wasted a little too much time being harsh to me. เสียเวลาโหดกับกูไปหน่อยว่ะ [sĭia weh-laa - hòht - gàp - guu - bpai nòi - wâ] waste time - harsh - with - me - a little too (much) - [particle] Official subs: You wasted all that time being so mean to me.

And I just love seeing the development of Fadel being harsh towards Style and Style liking him anyway to Fadel still being harsh, but also his sweet side starting to come through to Fadel now being totally sweet without a hint of harshness whatsoever. They've really come a long way. Although, of course Fadel can't be too sweet and he still teases Style about it: "Who'd want to be sweet with an annoying guy?" Except he says it with a smile in his eyes and with the softest tone ever. Style still takes a little offense, throwing Fadel a look that is both offended and very affectionate at the same time while he grabs the hose from Fadel, ready to take revenge. But then, Fadel continues: "You're just like Bison. You always find something good in a bad guy." Style smiles, looks away for a moment, thinks, then replies: "I believe people can change." And we know this to be true, because Style once told Kant: "I believe in the power of love. Love can turn a bad guy good." Besides, Style has been proven right about people being able to change: Style has been watching Fadel change in front of his very eyes. The Fadel that dragged Style out of his restaurant by his feet would never have sobbed into Style's lap like that.

Style then continues to say that he loves a mission and this is also something we've been seeing over the course of the series. In the beginning he was open to the mission of hitting on Fadel for Kant and now towards the end he was always very willing to help in Fadel and Bison's missions against Lilly. As for Fadel he's got his very own mission in mind: Project Boyfriend. Style announces that he'll help Fadel turn over a new leaf and Fadel contemplates for a second, staring at Style almost in wonder, then laughs and says "You think this Project Whatever of yours is gonna work?" Then he asks "You think I can change?", except in Thai it's not a dig at himself but rather a dig at Style's abilities:

You think you can change me? มึงคิดว่ามึงจะเปลี่ยนกูได้ [mueng - kít - wâa - mueng - jà - bplìian - guu - dâai] you - think - that - you - will - change - me - can, be able to

It's a challenge to Style: I dare you to change me. And we all (including Fadel) know that Style isn't one to back down from a challenge. Because Style loves winning. Except Style knows he's already won:

I don't know if it's gonna work or not. สำเร็จไม่สำเร็จไม่รู้อ่ะ [săm-rèt - mâi săm-rèt - mâi - rúu - àh] succeed - not succeed - not - know - [particle] You're letting me grab you and kiss your cheek like that. มึงให้กูจับหอมขนาดนั้นนะ [mueng - hâi - guu - jàp - hŏm - kà-nàat nán - ná] you - let - me - grab - kiss cheek - like that - [particle] Is it working? สำเร็จป่ะล่ะ [săm-rèt - bpà - lâ] succeed - ? - [particle]

(Official subs: "You tell me if it works when you let me do this to you.")

To really hit this home, Style immediately makes a grab for Fadel's face and kisses his cheek Like That™. Style showers Fadel in kisses and it turns into a water fight full of laughter and love, the exact opposite of the one time in episode 2 when Fadel doused Style at the market. And on a last note, let's just appreciate Style biting Fadel's head, because biting is a love language (see section cover pic for this, I meant to add it as a gif, but I ran into image limit 😭).

No. 8: Romantic Dates at a DIY-Grave

After they're done playing paintball, Fadel takes Style to another very special spot: his very own DIY-grave. Considering how surprised Style sounds when he asks "Why is your name on this tombstone?" I think it's safe to assume that Fadel failed to mention that they were gonna be visiting his own grave. If Fadel even told Style about visiting a grave at all, that is. Fadel explains "I had it done for myself" and in Thai it's actually even more depressing than that:

I prepared the grave for myself. กูเตรียมหลุมศพให้ตัวเองอ่ะ [dtriiam - lŭm sòp - hâi - dtuua eng - àh] prepare - grave - for - myself - [particle]

I mean, of course as viewers we are very well aware of the fact that Fadel did it himself, since we actually saw him dig it back in episode 3, but it sure hits different actually hearing him say it out loud as well. That he himself did it. Not that he commissioned it for other people to do it, but that he himself did it (except for the making of the actual gravestone itself, I assume). Somebody give this man a hug and wrap him in a blanket.

This information sure hits Style, too, because he whips his head around to Fadel, his expression shocked. Fadel continues to say that no one knows about this, not even Bison, and Style really doesn't understand:

And why do you have to prepare like this? แล้วทำไมมึงต้องเตรียมขนาดนั้นด้วยอ่ะ [láew - tam-mai - mueng - dtông - dtriiam - kà-nàat nán - dûuay - àh] and - why - you - have to - prepare - like that, that much - also, too - [particle] Official subs: Why would you do that?

I think Style does have somewhat of an idea as to why Fadel would prepare his own grave, but asks for clarification so that he has the exact details and I like to think that he is also hoping against all odds that there is a non-depressing explanation for this. Style looks at Fadel again and this time his face is full of concern rather than shock. Style listens attentively as Fadel explains that he lives a risky life that could end at any moment and that he'll be dying alone. Fadel then goes on to say that he wants to be buried here and that there's no need for a funeral since he doesn't have any family and only Bison would be crying over him. Style raises his eyebrows for a moment, tilts his head a little, sighs, and then furrows his brows a bit, accompanied by a small headshake.

I think he is a little hurt that Fadel thinks Style wouldn't be crying at his grave. I think he's sad for both Fadel as well as himself that Fadel still can't seem to wrap his head around just how much Style cares about him and just how very loved he is by Style. I think Style is sad that Fadel is in a mental state where he'll just take it for granted that nobody would be willing to put in the time and effort it takes to love him and at the same time Style is also hurt that his very own efforts to love Fadel, everything that he's done for him, all of it just gets disregarded by Fadel in the process. Style didn't go through the past ten episodes for nothing. And so he reminds Fadel: "Your boyfriend is literally standing right here." Style will, in fact, be crying over Fadel. And because Style is Style who always looks at the bright sight of things, he then proceeds to announce: "I'll make sure your grave is well decorated with flowers and burgers on the daily." As soon as he's finished speaking, he turns his head to check on Fadel's reaction.

And Fadel? Is smiling brightly. It worked.

Style can go back to being serious: "And when I die, I'll be lying right next to you. I won't let you get lonely." He sits down and leans against the gravestone as he says this to really demonstrate his point. Then he holds out his hand to Fadel who takes it and Style pulls him down. Fadel smiles brightly and Style laughs as Fadel gets comfy next to Style. And there's a moment where Style stares at Fadel with an emotion that I can't quite put into words, a moment where he slips out of that happiness very briefly and takes a private moment to lose himself in Fadel. I think Style wishes Fadel didn't have to embrace death with such open arms as part of his everyday life. And I think another thing that is happening here is that Style's sadness and the heaviness of the impending separation is coming through for just a second while Fadel isn't properly looking at him. Style can't easily pull Fadel out of his lonely and lowkey suicidal mind and be his light in the dark when Fadel is locked up.

Style immediately jumps back into happy mode as soon Fadel meets his eyes again. "Even when we were ghosts, I'd still be yapping your ears off," Style says and warmly looks at Fadel who just stares at him, taking in his words. Then Fadel drops his head down to kiss Style's shoulder and Style uses the chance to sneak a forehead kiss. Fadel wasn't expecting that sneaky kiss and looks up at Style in surprise. Fadel laughs and Style watches him with a smile, but that smile has a much more serious air to it than usual. Fadel starts talking again and just like before Style listens attentively while Fadel confesses that he's been thinking less about dying ever since he met Style. And Fadel also tells him why that is:

Because you make me feel like I wanna keep on living so that I can be with you for a long time. เพราะมึงทำให้กูรู้สึกว่ากูอยากมีชีวิตต่อเพื่อที่จะอยู่กับมึงไปนานๆ [próh - mueng - tam hâi - guu - rúu-sèuk - wâa - guu - yàak - mii chii-wít - dtòr - pêuua tîi jà - yùu - gàp - mueng - bpai - naan naan] because - you - make that, cause - I - feel - that - I - want - live, be alive - further - so that, in order to - be - with - you - [particle] - for a long time Official subs: I want to keep on living just to spend time with you.

Yeah, I just wanted to put this language note here to highlight that it's not just that Fadel wants to spend time with Style, but that he wants to do so for a long time. That means Fadel is finally seeing a future for himself that doesn't end in (early) death, it's a happy future right by Style's side. A future where they'll be old men together. In a way, this is almost a response or maybe a parallel to Style saying "I'll still wanna be with you [when we're old]." Fadel wants to stay alive so he can have that old man yaoi future with Style.

This makes Style smile brightly and now his smile also reaches his eyes again. "That's the most romantic thing I've heard." Style starts teasing Fadel about it. Fadel isn't convinced. "You're making me feel like I'm being lame." But Style really means it. "You're just romantic in an oddly specific way. Who the hell takes their boyfriend to their grave? I doubt I'll ever find another one like you." No joke. Style leans in a little closer and tells Fadel: "Don't die on me just yet. Stay and be weirdly romantic with me for a very long time." Style also wants that old man yaoi future with Fadel. Very much so.

They look at each other for a moment. Then Style lifts his hand to Fadel's face and gently pulls him closer. Fadel turns a little more towards Style and leans his head forward to grant Style better access to his forehead which Style proceeds to kiss softly. Fadel leans in even more to kiss Style's cheek just as softly in response. Then Fadel leans his head down to kiss Style's thumb of the hand that is still lightly touching Fadel's face. The two of them bask in the time they still have left together. They stay seated, enjoying the nature and each other's company for a little while longer while they still can. The day will end soon enough.

No. 9: Therapy Session

Their next stop is the gym in which the Rise Up meetings are held. Back in episode 5 Style asked Fadel why he goes to the meetings and now several episodes later Fadel finally gives him a proper answer to that question, an answer that isn't just two sentences. Fadel goes because his parents were killed, yes, but Style finally learns the real reasoning behind it: Fadel prefers telling his stories to strangers to avoid being an emotional burden to anyone, since strangers don't really care that much. Fadel doesn't want anyone to worry. As always when Fadel speaks, Style listens attentively. And that's really interesting, because just now Fadel actually said:

Well, if people don't know each other, they'll just listen without really paying attention, right? ก็ถ้าคนเราไม่รู้จักกันเนี่ย ก็จะฟังผ่านๆ ใช่ป่ะล่ะ [gôh - tâa - kon rao - mâi - rúu-jàk gan - nîia • gôh - jà - fang - pàan pàan - châi - bpà - lâ] well - if - people - not - know each other - [particle] • then - will - listen - carelessly, superficially - right - ? - [particle] Official translation: When you don't know them, you don't really care about them much, do you?

(Alt. translation: [...] they'll just listen carelessly, right?)

My Thai friend explained the phrase ฟังผ่านๆ [fang pàan pàan] as "you listen but you're not really paying attention to what is being said", like you hear it but you aren't really listening. But Style does listen. Style listens attentively every time Fadel opens up. Style lets Fadel talk without interruption, lets him share whatever he wants to share without pressuring him. And lately, Fadel has been sharing with Style quite a bit and he also acknowledges that and the resulting growth: "But I just learned what it's like to share my sorrow. I don't feel so sad anymore. I'm happier." And now Style does finally comment:

You're a super deep person, you know? มึงอ่ะเป็นคนโคตร deep เลยรู้ป่ะ [mueng - àh - bpen - kon - kôht - deep - loiie - rúu - bpà] you - [particle] - be - person - very, extremely - deep - [particle] - know - ? Official subs: You’re way too deep, you know that?

I think Style is quite impressed, but not necessarily in the sense where he's completely in awe of Fadel, but rather I feel like there's almost a bit of disappointment behind it in the way he says that, as if he was disappointed at himself that he himself isn't like that. Especially because he then also sighs and continues with "I personally think I have no layers at all. I'm pretty boring." And it's interesting that overly confident Style would have such a low view of himself. But that might also just be where the "overly" part of "overly confident" comes into play. Although I don't think Style necessarily has low self-esteem, I think he's genuinely confident enough. I also remember some talk in the tags over the past few weeks that the thing about Style is that with him what you see is what you get. And I think this what Style might be referring to here. Unlike Fadel, Style doesn't really hide his emotions. He feels what he feels and his surroundings will know about it. He doesn't hide behind a grumpy pokerface where you have to dig deep to find out just how much is actually behind it. I think Style thinks he's a bit of an open book that takes next to no effort to read, which makes it (makes him) boring. But I (and my over 100k words of analysis) beg to differ. And so does Fadel: "No layers? But you're so sensitive."

Now, I looked up some definitions of "sensitive", because I wasn't sure to what extent I agree. Cambridge dictionary defines one meaning as:

easily upset by the things people say or do, or causing people to be upset, embarrassed, or angry

I'm not sure I would agree with saying Style is "easily upset by the things people say or do". He did take almost everything that Fadel threw at him in stride, after all, down to the constant stream of death threats, and Style even never really held a grudge (and if he did, it didn't last long). And as much as we all adore Fadel, we gotta admit Fadel's harsh behavior towards Style really was quite shitty at certain points, even if it absolutely makes perfect sense from his POV. The only thing I can think of right now where Style was "easily upset" is how upset Style was when Fadel blue-balled him in the kitchen in episode 4. But I think some of that anger and hurt was less about the kitchen incident and more about Fadel also ditching him in the storage room after they hooked up in the first place. Another moment I can think of where this definition may apply to is when Style cries in the motel bed, but as I mentioned in my ep8 meta, I think that crying is totally justified after the events of that day (as well as the day before).

As for saying "causing people to be upset, embarrassed, or angry", now that I can get behind a lot more easily. After all, making Fadel angry and upset is pretty much all Style lived for in the beginning of their journey and he most definitely also tried to embarrass Fadel on occasion (namely when he yelled at Fadel in the market place in episode 2 or when he caused a scene at the diner in episode 4). Although even that was very specific to Fadel, and we didn't really see Style make any of the other characters he interacted with angry or upset or embarrassed.

Another definition given on Cambridge dictionary is:

understanding what other people need, and being helpful and kind to them

Now this is a definition I absolutely and 100% agree with when it comes to Style. I've mentioned it in multiple of my metas already that Style likes to help and he also tends to mediate. As a mediator, he would have to be understanding of the needs of the people involved in the conflict in order to diffuse the situation with as little harm as possible.

Merriam-Webster also gives this definition:

delicately aware of the attitudes and feelings of others

We see this true especially with Fadel. Style is excellent at reading Fadel. We see it over and over again how Style will observe Fadel, will watch him closely, will watch him intently, will listen to him attentively, will read him and knows exactly what to say or how to act, especially the better he gets to know Fadel and the more he starts to care about Fadel. And personally I like to think that this is a skill that Style learned through his mother's illness and her death. While his mother was sick and dying, things must have been very emotionally difficult and likely also very tense at home and when his dad lost his bearings after the mother's death, Style probably also got quite some practice in reading and being aware of the attitudes and feelings of others (namely of his dad, back then).

I don't know in which way Fadel meant it when he said Style is sensitive, but he does hit the nail on the head with his next point: "You just mask it all under your jokes." Fadel got to witness this up close on their little road trip adventure. In his anger and hurt he wasn't exactly on his best behavior towards Style, but despite that Style kept flirting, kept yapping, kept making jokes about using the complimentary gifts or wanting his body to be dumped in a beautiful place so his ghost could haunt nature. I touched on it a little bit in my ep8 meta (section 2, the last 2-3 paragraphs) and then in a bit more detail throughout my ep9 meta, but I think Style was actually hurt by Fadel's behavior. And I think Fadel was kinda aware of it. If not in episode 8, then at the very least he realized it in episode 9 when Style was on his knees offering his life. And I just love that we have this confirmation that Fadel has learned to read Style just as much as Style has learned to read Fadel. They know each other equally.

Style replies: "Everyone has their own way of dealing with sadness, right? You pretend it doesn't hurt. I bury it under my positivity." And here's the literal wording, for those who are curious:

Someone like you uses indifference. อย่างมึงอ่ะก็ใช้ความด้านชา [yàang - mueng - àh - gôh - chái - kwaam dâan chaa] like - you - [particle] - [sentence link] - use - indifference As for me, I use cheerfulness. ส่วนกูก็ใช้ความร่าเริง [sùuan - guu - gôh - chái - kwaam râa rerng] as for - me - [sentence link] - use - cheerfulness

And I like to think this is also something Style probably learned or even actively chose to start doing through his mothers illness and death. We've seen Style use positivity/cheerfulness to deal with his problems plenty of times throughout the series and not just directly opposite Fadel, but also when Fadel wasn't around, most notably in episode 6 when Style and Kant were stood outside a locked restaurant as well as in episode 7 when Style and Kant were in the showers and Kant brought up the brothers' suspicious behavior. In my metas I didn't really explicitly say that Style's jokes were a mask or that he was using his cheerfulness to bury his problems, but when writing about the aforementioned scene of episode 6 I did say this in my ep6 meta:

And what's interesting about it is that during that little chat Style isn't even all that depressed, despite still not having any clue whatsoever about Fadel's whereabouts. In fact, he actually sounds kind of cheerful when he asks and talks about the cat, unlike in the scene before where he was simply just miserable. Style's tone as well as his expression do both get more serious when he says "I guess [the cat] misses Bison, then. He’s a food source, after all", but no matter how troubled he is about the whole situation, no matter how worried he is about Fadel's well-being and no matter how much he misses him, he won't let himself wallow in misery.

(bolded for emphasis)

And for the shower scene in episode 7 I wrote the following:

Just like in episode 6, Style refuses to just sit there in misery. He refuses to be stressed as long as there is still a small glimmer of hope that things end well. Yes, Fadel has been acting weird, but until Style has definite proof that something is indeed extremely wrong, he'll go and enjoy life. As long as there is still a positive, plausible explanation or a positive way out, he'll go and enjoy life. There could be something wrong, but there doesn't have to be and so Style chooses to hold onto the thought that there isn't anything wrong for now until proven otherwise. And with that energy, he goes bowling that same night.

He won't let himself wallow in misery and episode 11 explicitly confirms that this is indeed exactly how he deals with a situation and that Style is also very much aware of it. Honestly, I love getting the confirmation that Style is self-aware. I mean, I figured, because I know my boy Style is a smart man, but still, it's nice to have it explicitly stated in canon as well.

But this day and especially this place isn't about Style at all and so he brings the conversation back around to Fadel: "But I don't want you to think you're a burden to anyone." It's important to Style that Fadel really understands that. And it's even more important that Fadel understands that he most definitely isn't a burden to Style specifically. Style has finally managed to get Fadel to trust him enough to open up and to share and Style just wants Fadel to keep on sharing. "Whatever you're feeling, I'm here if you need to dump it on someone," Style says. Fadel laughs a little, then amusedly asks "Whatever I'm feeling?" Style smiles a bit, then determinedly gets up and firmly confirms: "Whatever you're feeling." Fadel challenges him a little: "If I get sad?" Style walks two steps towards Fadel, then says "I'll cry with you. I'll wipe your tears." We haven't yet seen Style cry with Fadel, but we did very much watch him gently wipe tears from Fadel's face only last episode. Fadel knows that Style is speaking the truth, because Style has done it before. And Style knows Fadel knows it's true. There is no doubt about it, because Style has already done what he says he will do. Fadel smiles and asks "If I'm happy?" Style walks two more steps towards him, saying "I'll laugh with you." This, too, is something they've done together on quite a few occasions by now, most recently only mere hours ago when they were playing paintball. This, too, is something that Style has already proven to be true. Style looks at Fadel expectantly, ready to shoot back a confident answer in the blink of an eye for whatever other mood Fadel is throwing at him. But Fadel is completely serious now, no longer challenging Style. He no longer needs to, Fadel already believes him, because Style has already proven his words to be true even before they were out of his mouth. In a serious tone, Fadel goes "And if I..." and the way Fadel trails off is quite reminiscent of the way Style trailed off in episode 4 when he said "Having a boyfriend is great. You have someone to embrace, to love, and to…" Style takes his last step towards Fadel, sits in his lap, straddling him, and says "I'll help." Then he kisses Fadel, proving these words to be true, too, just like the other ones.

They won't get to kiss each other for five long years, so Style wants to stock up. When they're done kissing, Style moves into a hug. But Fadel leans forward for a moment to kiss Style's neck and Style actually looks surprised and a little caught off guard with the way he blinks and raises his eyebrows.

No matter how cheerful of a front Style has been putting up all day and no matter how much he genuinely was cheerful at certain points since they got up this morning, deep down Style has been in pain about the impending separation all day, too. And right then and there, wrapped in Fadel's arms, with his face where Fadel can't see it... Style finally lets himself feel that pain. At least a little bit. Unlike Fadel in episode 6, Style is not (yet) crying.

And this right here is exactly why I think it's good they went out and played paintball. Because Style already looked so sad the night before during the ten minute hug, and now that he's back in Fadel's arms again he looks even more miserable. He looks like he's about to start crying any second. If they'd spent all day in bed, even if they had slept together (even if multiple times), I think during the downtimes where they would have just been cuddling Style would have just been miserable as he feels the minutes, the hours passing by. And I don't think Fadel would have wanted Style to spend his last 24 hours with Fadel feeling sad and upset and dreading the moment they have to say goodbye. Especially because Fadel is fully aware of the fact that Style uses positivity and cheerfulness to deal with sadness. And I'm glad Style got to have at least a few hours where he was completely distracted from his hurt about the separation and where he was able to genuinely smile and be happy and have fun without feeling awful. Because the grief will catch up soon enough. The grief is already catching up. They remain seated holding onto each other like this for probably quite a while.

No. 10: A Present

The last stop of the day before Fadel has to go is, of course, the Heart Burger restaurant. Style is back to being his smiley self. He's standing in the kitchen with Fadel, about to prepare some food, because Fadel wants to cook food with his partner that is do what he loves with the person that he loves. Fadel loudly announces that it makes him happy and then smiles towards the table, looking almost kind of shy. Style watches Fadel fondly, his expression loving and warm.

Fadel opens up about his history in the restaurant business and says he likes Heart Burger best, to the point where he was considering running it as a serious business once he'd quit being a killer. Style's expression turns a little more neutral while he's intently listening to Fadel talk. But then Fadel says "Who'd have thought…" and trails off and Style's smile from before is gone completely.

I think there are two things happening here: the first thing is that Style's need to help (especially those he loves) immediately has him try thinking of a solution where the Heart Burger might be saved while Fadel goes to prison. And the second thing, which is more subconscious I think, is that the impending goodbye really hits him again. His main concern is Fadel and how to keep Fadel's restaurant safe for him while Fadel is gone, but I think for a moment he's also feeling very much not okay again about Fadel being taken away from him in the first place. Then Style's eyebrows shoot up as a solution pops into his mind: "You want me to run this place while you're gone?" Fadel looks up, sees Style's very serious and earnest expression, huffs a little and says: "Just focus on your garage. I don't want this place to go out of business just yet." He smiles a cheeky little smile while he says the second sentence and his teasing works. For a moment Style comes out of his serious mood as he complains "Oh, you underestimate me". Actually, I asked my friend about the expression ดูถูก [duu tùuk] that Style uses here and my friend translated it as "to insult":

Don't you think you're insulting me a bit too much? มึงดูถูกกูไปป่ะวะ [mueng - duu tùuk - guu - bpai - bpa - wá] you - insult - me - to (much) - ? - [particle]

Style immediately goes back to being earnest and serious when he says "With a little training, I can do it, you know?" Fadel looks at Style, his expression warm, and Style gives him an encouraging little nod. He is very much willing to put in the effort for Fadel. If Fadel loves this restaurant and wants to do it as a full-time job then Style will happily do everything that he can to keep it safe for Fadel until Fadel returns.

Fadel takes off his gloves, then reaches for his pocket and says "You don't need to" and the first time I watched the episode for a split second I thought he was about to pull out a ring and propose to Style right then and there. And with the way Style looks down towards Fadel's hand I wonder if Style was thinking the same thing for just a moment. What Fadel pulls out isn't exactly a ring, but it might as well be: it's the Heart Burger pin. The very pin that they argued about the third time they met back in episode 1. The very pin that Fadel so irritably demanded to get back. Fadel is now holding that very pin out to him. Style just stares at it, not moving a muscle. Fadel then says out loud that he's giving it to Style and Style looks at him and, still in shock, asks:

But you're very protective of it, aren't you? แต่มึงหวงมากเลยไม่ใช่หรอ [dtàe - mueng - hŭuang - mâak loiie - mâi châi - rŏh] but - you - protective - very much - no - ? Official subs: But you love it so much, don’t you?

Style uses the word หวง [hŭuang] here which in series will often get translated as "possessive" or "jealous" (especially when it's used to refer to being หวง [hŭuang] about a person), but my friend explained that this word is also used to express that the thing is something you wanna keep to yourself, something you wanna keep in your sight (in the words of my friend: "Normally you would never let this out of your sight"). He also explained that when it's an object you might also have a certain way to use it/go about it. I thought "protective" would work quite well as a translation here, because it also implies that you want to keep the thing in your sight to watch over it.

So Style is very surprised that Fadel is actually entrusting him with the pin since Fadel is so หวง [hŭuang] about it and Fadel explains: "That's exactly why I want you to take care of it." Style searches Fadel's face, still in disbelief, but he's starting to smile now. Fadel moves to put it on him right above his heart and Style's smile grows bigger, but then falls a little again when Fadel looks away. Style's eyes stay fixed on Fadel while Fadel puts the pin on Style's shirt. In the middle of the action Fadel looks up at Style's face and Style smiles small fond smiles at him as he keeps staring at him. He is so in love.

Fadel is done attaching the pin and speaks compliments, looking proudly at the pin. Style falls into his own world a little bit as he looks down at it. Quiet wonder and amazement grows on his face while he lifts his head, lost in thought, and then looks back down at the pin.

This may not have been an actual marriage proposal, but it is as good as one. Style finally comes back to reality. He turns to Fadel and says: "It feels really safe when you're by my side." And it's so nice to see what a long way Style, too, has come from "It feels so weird every time I'm with you. Sometimes you make me feel so scared, and sometimes you make me feel so safe" back in episode 5. Style smiles at Fadel very fondly again. Fadel looks up surprised and smiling a little, too. In the end he laughs and comments "What is that, all of a sudden? Gives me the creeps." Fun fact, in Thai he's not creeped out but:

I'm gonna puke. จะอ้วก [jà - ûuak] will - puke

Still happy, Fadel instructs Style to cut the onions (is it onions because we're about to lead into a scene that has us go "is someone cutting onions or why are my eyes wet"?) and Style smiles brightly at Fadel and amusedly shakes his head at Fadel's reaction to his words. Then he turns towards the cutting board, but not without looking at Fadel one more time.

The scene ends in a montage of the two of them by the stove, making their burgers all while they smile together, laugh together, and constantly look at each other.

No. 11: The Last Supper

Dinner is done, the table is set, and the two of them are ready to eat. Style is impressed. "I want our last dinner to be special," says Fadel. Style looks up at him, eyes wide in shock. "Don't say 'last dinner'." Style doesn't wanna hear it. It's not gonna be their last. It's just not. "We'll be together when you're out of prison." Actually what Style says here is:

We'll get to eat more [meals] when you're out of jail. เดี๋ยวมึงออกมาจากคุกก็ได้กินอีก [dĭieow - mueng - òhk maa jàak - kúk - gôh - dâai - gin - ìik] moment - you - come out of - jail - [sentence link] - get to - eat - more

And this wording just really reminds me of episode 6 after the concert when Fadel promised "When I'm back, there'll be more nights like this." It's not just that they'll be together in general when Fadel is back, but they'll be able to do specific activities together again. This activity specifically. Eating dinner together. (Though from the behind the scenes we already know that Fadel will be keeping his own promise, too. EDIT: Joke's one me, turns out it's a deleted scene that never made it into an episode. I cry.) In a way, Style's words are as much of a promise as Fadel's words were after the concert. Or rather, Style's words are a firm decision. A fact, even. In five years they'll be eating more dinners, any other option is absolutely and entirely out of the question.

But for Fadel, the future isn't so clear: "I don't know what the future holds. I just want to make the most out of tonight." Style doesn't try to convince Fadel otherwise, but instead says "Let's plan our life, then." And that's interesting, because this is the second time this episode that Style is planning something or wants to plan something where Fadel, who's usually the planner out of the two of them, doesn't have any plans at all. Style's relationship with Fadel is so important to Style that even he starts planning now. Though I think this time around it's more than that. Style is very well aware of the fact that Fadel is a planner, well aware that Fadel plans out his whole life. But now, Fadel suddenly faces uncertainty for his future. And I think when Style offers to make plans it's also an offer of comfort, because he knows having plans gives Fadel reassurance. And if plans are what Fadel needs to stay confident in his relationship with Style throughout his time in prison, then Style will gladly sit down and make those plans. He'll do anything to make Fadel feel better and he'll also do anything to keep Fadel by his side. Because giving up (on) Fadel is simply just not an option. In a way this also parallels how Fadel was trying to look for the bright side earlier in the episode when Style couldn't. Now Style is trying to make plans when Fadel can't. But Fadel doesn't follow, so Style elaborates:

Let's plan how we're gonna be in a relationship while you're in jail. วางแผนว่าเราจะคบกันยังไงอ่ะ ตอนมึงอยู่ในคุก [waang păen - wâa - rao - jà - kóp gan - yang-ngai - àh • dton - mueng - yùu - nai - kúk] to plan - that - we - will - date, be a couple - how - [particle] • when, while - you - be - in - jail Official subs: Let's plan how we're going to make this work while you're in prison.

Because of course Fadel going to jail is not equal to a break-up in Style's mind, the same way Fadel's death threats didn't mean they were broken up either. And obviously they're still gonna be a couple while Fadel is in jail. But Fadel doesn't see how that's possible:

How can we be in a relationship? จะคบยังไงอ่ะ [jà - kóp - yang-ngai - àh] will - date, be a couple - how - [particle] Official subs: How are we going to do that? You'll be on the outside and I'll be on the inside. มึงก็อยู่ข้างนอก กูอยู่ข้างใน [mueng - gôh - yùu - kâang nôk • guu - yùu - kâang nai] you - [sentence link] - be - outside • I - be - inside Official subs: You'll be here while I'm there.

Style doesn't say anything for a moment and Fadel continues speaking: "Style… You don't have to wait for me. Just do what you want to do. Think of our time together… as a fun period of your life." Style looks at Fadel, almost in shock and says "No." Style's voice is a little shaky, he almost sounds a bit scared. Fadel is not breaking up with him just because he's going to prison, Style absolutely will not let that happen. "It doesn't have to be a big deal," he says, his voice now steady again. Fun fact, in Thai he actually explicitly says that คุก [kúk] (= jail) doesn't have to be a big deal. So what if Fadel is in jail? "I can visit you every week." But Fadel simply cannot imagine a world where someone would put in so much effort for him: "I'll just be a burden to you."

Except, there is someone out there who is more than happy to put in all that effort and it's Style. "What burden? I'm willing to take it." When Style says that he's willing to take on the burden there is so much urgency and a little bit of desperation in his voice. And I think it's not just because it's important to him that Fadel understands it for his (Fadel's) mental well-being, but I think Style is also hurt that Fadel is currently in the process of disregarding Style's own feelings on the matter again as he has done many times before. Fadel can have as much trauma as he wants and Style is understanding of that, of course, but it's still not a great experience to constantly receive messages along the lines of "you're feelings aren't real, what you think doesn't matter, I don't believe you". Because Style really means it when he says he still wants this relationship to continue even with Fadel in prison and he means it when he says he can (and will) visit him weekly. And it hurts Style that Fadel just refuses to see that, refuses to acknowledge that in any way. This relationship is made out of two people and Style also has his own agency here which Fadel is just completely brushing aside when he insists that Style wouldn't do the things Style says he would. And that just hurts, especially when Style has proven his words to be true over and over again. Fadel's behavior is not entirely fair to Style.

Style is so very willing to take the burden and he's starting to get stressed, because no matter what he says Fadel just won't believe him. Fadel just continues to disregard Style's wants and needs and predicts a dark future instead: "At first, you will. But you won't always be able to. You're out here, you will meet a whole lot of people." Style, however, can read Fadel pretty well by now and he comes to a realization as Fadel is speaking:

So you're... scared I'll forget you, aren't you? นี่มึง... กลัวกูลืมมึงใช่มั้ย [nîi - mueng... gluua - guu - leum - mueng - châi mái] [interjection] - you... scared - I - forget - you - right? Official subs: Are you… scared of being forgotten?

And I think the original wording is important here again, because the official translation just generalizes it and kind of makes it sound like being forgotten is something that just sort of happens to Fadel in a passive way. But I think the thought that terrifies Fadel the most isn't that he becomes invisible for the world in general, but specifically that the one person that means the most to him in this life will forget him. He's terrified that Style will actively forget him. And Style clocks that, because he's excellent at reading Fadel and directly calls him out on it, giving Fadel no real out, making Fadel face his fear.

Fadel takes a while to reply as he goes through a whole emotional journey first. Style keeps his eyes fixed on him. Then Fadel finally says: "What else can I do? When I'm in there, all I'll do is think… if you forgot me already." Style knew this answer was coming and is quick to reply. He leans forward. "How could I forget you?" No, really, how could Style ever forget Fadel? Style sounds almost a bit offended when he asks this. "You dragged me out of this place. We ran away from gunshots hand in hand. We slept together in the woods and kissed in the ocean." Just like before, there is urgency in Style's voice. What he is saying here is important to him. And there is also a bit of desperation again which grows the longer he speaks. Because in reality, Style is also scared as much as Fadel is. Both of them are scared of losing the other, but in entirely different ways. Fadel is scared that Style will forget him and so he deals with it by preemptively pushing Style away before he can get hurt from Style (potentially) dumping him like Fadel has been dumped before (or so Fadel thought). Fadel deals with it by preemptively locking his heart up again and with that locking Style out of it. And through that he's also the cause of Style's fear. Because Style doesn't want to be pushed out, doesn't want to stand in front of Fadel's locked heart. He wants to stay with Fadel. But when Fadel is in prison for five long years it'll be much harder to pull him out of his downward spiral whenever Fadel starts having doubts again. And Style is terrified of losing Fadel right then and there, just because Fadel is already predicting the worst and is completely disregarding the reality of Style's feelings again. By the end Style's voice is really desperate and stressed when he says:

Experiences like these aren't easy to come by. (lit. "aren't easy to find.") ประสบการณ์แบบนี้มันไม่ได้หาง่ายๆ นะเว้ย [bprà-sòp-gaan - bàep níi - man - mâi dâai - hăa - ngâai ngâai - ná wóiie] experience - like this - it - not - find - easy, easily - [particle] Official subs: Those aren't something I'll have with just anyone.

Style is terrified of losing Fadel, he is hurt that Fadel is completely brushing off Style's feelings and perspective on the matter, and Style is also kind of angry that Fadel is pulling this shit on Style once again. Style is a little done with Fadel constantly dismissing Style's feelings and actions, when Style has proven his loyalty and his feelings time and time again. It is of utmost importance that Fadel really understands and internalizes the fact that Style loves him and will stay by his side no matter what and that Fadel's behavior also affects Style, hurts Style. To really emphasize on his point, Style finishes with a firm and decisive "I can't forget you."

Style's little speech and outburst of emotion really hits Fadel. He takes a bit to respond and when he does, it sounds like there is a lump in his throat. "I'll believe you." Style doesn't immediately respond either. He looks at Fadel for a moment and then takes his hand. "Let's just eat. I'm getting hungry." Style is smiling now, his voice is a little breathless and you can just feel the relief oozing out of him. The relief that Fadel believes him. The relief that Fadel isn't disregarding Style's feelings again. The relief that Fadel isn't breaking up with him.

Style moves to grab his burger, then holds it out to Fadel to feed him. Fadel takes a bite, then feeds Style in return. If the gift of the pin earlier was an engagement, then the mutual burger feeding is the ring exchange. It seals their mutual commitment to each other. Fadel asks if the burger is good and Style replies "I won't ever forget the taste." This isn't about the taste of the burger. It's not about the burger at all. Fadel doesn't reply, but judging by his facial expression, he definitely has another lump in his throat.

I can't tell if it's just the lighting, but to me it kinda looks like Style has some tears in his eyes in these shots?

Might really be just the lighting, though. Fadel, however, definitely teared up from the way his voice sounds when he makes a "mh-hm" sound and the way he sniffs. He takes a bite of the burger and some crumbs get stuck around his mouth. Style reaches over to brush them off, but really, he wipes away a tear. They keep eating. They don't comment on the tears.

Side Quest: First Boyfriend

I find it very interesting that Fadel was revealed to be Style's first boyfriend, especially because @nnnn99999 actually brought this possibility up after only the second episode:

What if Style is not an expert player? In fact, what if Style is not experienced at all? What if Style has been waiting for his one true love all this time? What if Style just wants a man to fall in love with and spend the rest of his life together with?

In her post, @nnnn99999 mostly makes a case of Style not really sleeping around, but I know she explicitly mentioned the possibility of Fadel being Style's first boyfriend, though unfortunately I can't find where exactly she said this right now (@nnnn99999 feel free to send it to me, if you have it at hand 🙏). In episode 4 @secriden also wondered: "Also, a thought that occurred to me - could this be Style's first relationship?" So how do you guys feel about being right? 😂

In her post, @secriden then continues to say "We know from episode 1 that he sleeps around, but there's seemingly no mention of a previous serious/committed relationship so far", but if you've been following my metas you'll know that I'm actually with @nnnn99999 on this one. Especially in the Side Quest section of my ep3 meta I go into detail why I think Style likes to flirt around and loves the attention he gets out of it, but doesn't actually sleep around. Throughout my metas I've also kept emphasizing on the fact that sex matters to Style and that I think Style makes deliberate choices about who he sleeps when he actually does sleep with someone (and Style wanting to make his own choices is also confirmed in episode 5).

Side note: I'm not gonna reiterate everything I've ever said about Style not sleeping around, but if you wanna know my thoughts I recommend you go check out my ep3 meta (section 2 side quest + section 14), my ep6 meta (section 2 side quest), and my ep7 meta (section 1 side quest).

Now with the reveal of Fadel being Style's first boyfriend and with the perspective of "Style is not a player" one could assume that Style might even have been a virgin before meeting Fadel, but my personal headcanon is that Style did go out and experience a bit here and there (maybe as a teenager, for example). It's just, as I've stated many times before, I don't think Style slept around regularly the way that Kant did. We didn't even get a single mention to a past hook-up when it comes to Style, while it did come up with Kant a bunch that he sleeps around. Style, instead, has always been all "I want to find love, I want a boyfriend" from the very beginning: even in the very first scene where we, the audience, meet Style for the first time he already tells Kant: "For real, man. Quit it with your one-night-stands and just get a real lover." Style hasn't even said 10 full sentences in the series at this point (it's his 8th line, depending on how you count them). For those wondering about the original wording, the official translation is roughly what Style says in Thai, but the original wording is a bit softer:

Please, I'm asking you... กูขอเหอะ [guu - kŏh - hùh] I - ask (for), request - [particle] Quit the one-night-stands and find a boyfriend for once. หยุดเสียวระยะสั้น แล้วหาแฟนสักที [yùt - sĭieow - rá-yá sân • láew - hăa - faen - sàk tee] stop - excited, aroused - short-term • and - look for - boyfriend - just once

(Side note: I decided to translate "faen" as "boyfriend" rather than the genderneutral "lover" here, because episode 10 confirmed Kant is strictly into men.)

Just from that alone we can understand that Style puts being in an actual relationship above sleeping around. It's Kant who is introduced as the person who scans the room for his next "victim". In comparison, Style walks up to him and is only focused on that drawing of a car on his phone screen. Style cares more about cars than he does about potential hook-ups (and we'll see just how true that is only a few scenes later when Style basically makes love to Kant's car). Style isn't paying attention to his surroundings at all, because unlike Kant, Style isn't there to look for his next body count. And then he even also complains that Kant is looking around instead of paying attention to Style. It's Kant who claims that Style is a player, but Style responds very skeptically to that claim, clearly disagreeing, the tone of his voice full of disapproval. What Style does then is that he goes attention seeking and showing off his waist, but we never actually see him engage with an actual person. And it's Kant who leaves the scene with a one-night-stand, while Style drives home alone. And even though Style also encourages Kant to go after Bison, he still sighs and makes a comment about how he's "left behind, once again" when Kant walks away from him, which doesn't exactly sound like Style approves of that way of life.

It's Kant from whom we hear things like "I did that to so many people. A taste of my own medicine, I suppose" and "But I stopped doing that since the day I met you." in reference to sleeping around and ditching people in the morning. Bison also explicitly states at one point "I never dated anyone seriously. But the guys I hung out with, like you [Kant], I enjoyed their company", implying that he also isn't a stranger to one-night-stands (and we even got to witness that considering Kant and Bison started out as a one-night-stand where the two of them wouldn't have seen each other again if Captain Christ hadn't happened).

Style, though? We never see him engage in a one-night-stand, nor does he ever make any references to past one-night-stands or people he's been (in bed) with. In fact, the one time he mentions that he had the opportunity to be set up with someone, Style talks about how he actually declined it. Style did not go after the person his dad suggested to him, when that would have been an easy catch. Style is all about "find a boyfriend" and "[Having a boyfriend] is great" and "I want your body and your heart" (The "and heart" is the key part here! Not just the body, but also the heart!). When Fadel wants to ditch him in the storage room in episode 3, Style doesn't like that one bit and even straight up tells Fadel: "What kind of man do you take me for? I might look like I play around, but I'm damn devoted to love. I want to date." And that's the thing. Style says he looks like he plays around. He doesn't say that he is someone who plays around. In fact, he is quite offended by the implication that he's a player which is evident from his question "What kind of man do you take me for?" as well as his annoyed and skeptical tone when he responds to Kant's claims of Style being a player in episode 1. Style is not that kind of man that sleeps with someone and then ditches them. And he'll get offended if you try to imply that he is. And if you do that to him, if you sleep with him and ditch him after, then you will have a problem. That's literally his plot of episode 4.

Style loves romance (as we learn in episode 8 and we see proof of again in the first scene of this very episode) and Style wants to be in a relationship, which to me just makes it more obvious that Style doesn't really sleep around. Because a life of one-night-stands isn't exactly very romantic and it's also the complete opposite of the life with a boyfriend that Style wishes for. And so it's interesting that Style was never in a relationship before Fadel came along. Because Style so clearly wants to be in a relationship, wants to have someone by his side. And in episode 5 we learn that Style wants to choose who he is with for himself, but the reveal that Style has actually never had a boyfriend before Fadel highlights just how picky Style really is. Style dreams of a relationship, but he's not desperate to be in a relationship so that he'd date just anyone. Because if he had been desperate for a relationship, he could have easily gone along with his dads antics of setting his son up with a random mechanic. But Style refused to go along. Because Style is picky about who he is with. And before Fadel, there was no one Style deemed worthy or interesting enough to want to pursue a relationship with them. But Fadel is worthy and interesting enough for Style to want to pursue a relationship with him. And not just that, Style fights tooth and nail to keep this relationship.

No. 12: Torn Apart

The 24 hours are up and the gang meets with Captain Christ for the brother' arrest. Fadel turns to Style for a few words of goodbye, which include: "Don't drive too fast. Don't drive when you've been drinking, and don't be on your phone." This, of course, is a callback to the very first time they met and their very first conversation. I wonder if Style has told Fadel by now that their first few meetings were really a coincidence and actually didn't have anything to do with Kant at all.

Style also has a few words to say to Fadel. Style is concerned and worried about Fadel, but even though they're about to separate, Style is still holding it together at this point. His voice is steady and there aren't any tears in his eyes. Kant and Bison also say their goodbyes and after Captain Christ says "Time to go" and with that Fadel getting ripped away starts to become real, that's when Style makes a pained face and starts to tear up. But he immediately bites his tears back again as he turns to look at Fadel.

It hurts so much, but Style is being so brave about it. However, we can tell that he's very much not okay right now. He sniffs a little when he nods after Bison tells him to take care of Kant. Then Bison tells him to make sure Kant eats properly. Style replies "Mhm. I'll keep an eye on him" and he's smiling, but his breathing betrays him as well as his shaky voice when he goes "Mhm" before he starts speaking. But he's still staying strong. He looks miserable when he looks at Fadel, but he's still holding back the tears. And he keeps holding back his tears while he watches Fadel get arrested and taken away.

When the police car is gone, Kant turns to Style and asks him if he's alright. Style nods and sighs as if he's breathing out all the tension and it looks like he almost smiles a little. But the truth is that as much as he wants to believe he's okay and as much as he thinks he's okay and that he's got this... Style is very much not okay. And it's over the moment they sit down. Style can no longer keep the brave face up.

(Sorry, quick side tangent, but the fact that he's still wearing the Heart Burger pin in this scene absolutely shatters my heart into a million pieces.)

In episode 5 Kant told him "Once those two get arrested, we walk free" and back then Style shook his head because that wasn't how he'd imagined his happy ending. And now it actually happened. Now Fadel got arrested. And it's potentially the worst pain that Style has felt since his mother's death. His loved one got taken away from him again and now Style is breaking. We've seen him cry before, but this time Style is full on sobbing. And it's absolutely devastating to see the one character who's the sunshine of the show, who is the beacon of hope and optimism, who always looks at the bright side of things, who's always happy and cheerful and joking around... it's absolutely devastating to watch this character fall apart like that. And it makes so much sense for Style to finally break. After all, he's human too. And he's been holding it together for so long, especially throughout this entire episode.

Style did get a little upset right after Captain Christ agreed to give them those 24 hours and Fadel did have to comfort him then, but after that Style spent most of the day being happy and cheerful, despite the separation looming over them all day. And I think he put on his happy face partly for himself, because that is how he deals with situations as he himself stated only a few scenes ago, but I think he also partly put on his happy face for Fadel. I think he wanted Fadel to spend his last hours of freedom being happy rather than worrying about Style. And it's also quite interesting that Style holds it together while Fadel is still in front of him and only breaks once Fadel is completely out of sight. Whenever we did see his sadness peak through the happy demeanor, it was usually when Fadel couldn't see it or when Fadel wasn't properly paying attention. I think Style wanted to give Fadel as little reason to worry about him as possible while stuck in prison and unable to reach out and do anything. I think he wanted to send Fadel off to prison with a (mostly) happy image of Style. But the happy image can only last for so long when there is so much pain underneath. And so the moment Style doesn't have to stay strong for somebody else, he breaks under the weight. He falls apart completely and it's the most heartbreaking thing, because this is just not the Style we are used to seeing. And on that joyful note, we get to wait another week for the final episode. Or rather my final meta of this meta series. Because the next episode is already out by the time I'm publishing this. Oops.

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep12)

[lemonhemlock]

this is me airing out my thoughts regarding daemon and rhaenyra bc there could have been potential for actually make their relationship interesting. so, obviously they are supposed to be the ultimate targ love story (even though everything is the exact opposite) and that's how most people swallow it but the writers could have used s2 to show that it was just them acting. rhaenyra and daemon could never have a healthy relationship (in any way in my opinion), rhaenyra yelling about how she can't trust him seemed like a good thing for me until ep8. we could have had them both struggling to go back to their behaviour in s1ep1, this dreamy lovey dovey thing. daemon struggling with a older rhaenyra who knows what a somewhat healthy relationship should look like (i don't think harwin was 100% healthy but it still stands). now, rhaenyra is in a abusive marriage and has kids that threaten her older ones, it would have been great to see that internal conflict. how her life now is in a way a twisted one of her former best friend and the women around her. using daemon x rhaenyra to show how despite being heir and her uncle apparently doing anything for her she is just a woman in westeros. how even if on the outside she portrays herself as this perfect girlboss revolutionary, she will always be a pawn trapped by the man she spent years fantasizing about. i don't like daemon but his theme of never being able to change and always reverting back to his old selfish ways could have been amazing in s2 if it was even a thought. tb has no drama (any hint of it is destroyed to save rhaenyra) but daemyra could have had some at least and it would have been enough (since nettles and daemon leaving rhaenyra won't be a thing). there a multiple reasons for them to have such a messed up dynamic but they aren't allowed. now daemon and rhaenyra are in the exact same spot with eachother, perfect, loyal (rhaenyra cheater but i doubt anything will happen from that, the writers will probs have daemon think it's how or something), pure and badass.

also rhaenyra mentioned how daemon left herr during her Stillbirth but ig that's totally cool for everyone involved.

I'll be honest, anon - I think one of the main problems is that the writers probably think they've done a stellar job portraying the >conflict< between Daemyra and don't really understand the criticism.

Because at the end I think the INTENTION was to show that Rhaenyra isn't completely trusting of Daemon after his stunts, so they're not 100% back to how they were - she has a line akin to "don't ever betray me again" and looks a little apprehensive but is putting on a show for the Harrenhal audience. So, their reasoning was probably that it was enough to portray appropriate "punishment" - a loss of trust.

But this "consequence" seems ridiculous in context, because the greens fall apart much more dramatically and are treated like unfeeling monsters over less egregious shit. So it ends up looking cowardly that they let Daemon get away with the proverbial slap on the wrist.

[maximwtf]

readder takes a bullet for izzy. need this fic asap. omfg. did u want finale yet???

Izzy x Reader

words: 1700

google docs pages: 3

warnings: ! S2E8 Spoilers (Kinda?) ! Gunshot wound, mentions of smoking and drinking, blood, death

opening: Ricky turns to fire his pistol and run, but you saw it coming and push Izzy out of the way. 

AN// Reader can be any gender! I can’t even lie, my angst loving heart was highkey excited for this one XD Thank you for the request, I love writing stuff like this !! This shall also heal my soul after watching ep8, I’m still a mess from it waaa

 “I’ll wait for you”

The long ferns dragged along the freshly stolen British navy coat as you made your way towards the shore with the rest of the crew. Your palm was around the handle of your sword, still convinced that this was a clear suicide mission. There seemed to be absolutely no chance for the whole crew to make it alive all the way to the ship and to make an escape. The Republic of Pirates was swarming with British soldiers, every corner being watched and checked actively. Though, you weren’t going to try and stay here either. You’d rather die as a pirate than get captured and be hung by the British. 

Izzy marched a little ahead of you with Ricky. You weren’t sure why he had been put in charge of the man, but there was no use in asking for him to hand over the job to you. He was still the first mate, and as loyal as he was he continued on with his duties. You weren’t scared for his sake, he was most certainly a more skilled fighter and a sailor than you were. But there was always the what if, at the back of your mind. As far as you knew, the whole area was surrounded by British soldiers. Each and every time you’d peeked to take a fast look, at least three men stood near with their guns. So the odds of one of them spotting the group and shooting weren’t nonexistent. 

Blackbeard and Izzy had a long history together, but so did you and him. From what you’d talked with Izzy, you’d joined the crew only a short time after him. The man wasn’t even the first mate just yet, which was one of the reasons why you’d dared to start chatting with him in the first place. By God, you wouldn’t have started hitting up someone in a much higher position in the crew just after joining. But there had started your decades long, complicated relationship. He’d always been a little snappish, and that had only amplified once he was given the position as first mate. But every time you’d been with him at the sidelines where he usually spent his time, he was just slightly different. He was the same man, but like there was less of a wall he had to keep up. So because he was seemingly comfortable with you around, you sometimes spent time with him. Share cigarettes, watched him carve figures out of small pieces of wood, whatever he was doing. Sometimes there were no words, just silent companionship. At times the air felt tense, and at some point that wasn’t just an itch you had sometimes. There was real tension, but neither of you addressed it. All the way up until you’d sat down to drink a bottle or two of rum with him. There were not many memories of said night, just one of the tension breaking kiss you’d shared with him. And of course the morning after, and the days that followed. The silence that suggested the both of you being at loss of what to do next. 

Your eyes focused on the soldiers in front of you, listening to Ricky speak to them as he’d been told to before. So far the plan was going as intended, but that wouldn’t last for much longer. The prince swung around, alerted the soldiers that the group he was with were pirates and pulled out his pistol. Your eyes widened and without more than a second to think you pushed the man next to you. There wasn’t time to check if he'd landed okay, since that hadn’t been a part of your plan, only to get him out of the bullet’s way. You heard the thud as he fell over, and soon after followed one of the most agonizing pain you could have imagined. The bullet must have hit you instead. There was no time to properly locate where it had hit, but you didn’t have to just yet. As long as you could somewhat walk, that was enough, since after you’d made it to the ship you could take a look at the damage. 

The rest of the unit had heard the gunshot and were hurrying to the scene. You reached out and offered a hand for Izzy, the other hand holding the spot you could see blood seeping through. He took a hold of your hand, noticing that something was clearly wrong. You could see his mouth open slightly, but before he was able to question you, you let go of his hand and pushed him forward by his back. “Fuck off, go!” You growled, eyes scanning the area for the easiest way out. 

The walk to the shore was a blur. You could tell you were stumbling, even the smallest of rocks getting in your way. Izzy was walking in front of you, but you could tell he was stalling more than a person running for their life would. “Did I not tell you to go?” You snarled a little at the stinging pain, now more obvious that it was coming from somewhere deep near your side. You wished he would have just followed the others, gotten away faster. But this brand new version of him wouldn’t do that to you, to anyone from the crew for that matter. You’d been proud of him through his change, but this was not the time for him to care about you. “Come on, I’m not leaving you here.” He paused enough to get you closer to him, and hoisted you up a little by your arm. “Fuck you.” You cursed, trying to walk a little faster now that he was helping you. 

The boat ride felt like forever, and as each of the waves hit the boat the stings of pain just felt worse and worse. You felt light headed and even without noticing you leaned on Izzy just a little more for support. He stiffened up, but kept you in place so you wouldn’t accidentally lean over the edge. You could have sworn you felt his thumb repetitively go over your forearm, as if to keep some sense in the moment .

Izzy got out of the boats first, and with the help of the others he got your form on the main deck. The first mate tore off his coat, laying it flat on the wooden deck before leaning your head over his lap. You could feel cold sweat creep onto your forehead and back, breaths shallow and quick. It was only now setting in what had happened, but you tried to bite back the feelings of panic. You felt Izzy tap your cheek, making your eyes land on his face. Some dirt had stuck to his face from the fall he’d taken because of you, you thought to yourself. “Come on, stay awake.” Izzy said, his voice a little shaken, but the same old commanding tone somewhere in there. “Oh, you’ll be fine, you carouser.” A groan left your throat, making you close your eyes for a moment. You didn’t feel like opening them after, but you did. You did when Izzy’s hand made contact with your cheek again. 

Before this you’d thought of the crew members watching. You’d noticed they were around Izzy, some of them hurrying to get anything to help. Though, you knew this was the day you’d feed the fish. Izzy’s expression looked tight. Like he wanted to cry, but tried not to for your sake. He was hunched over your form as his eyes watered. “Aye, now. Don’t hang the jib. You’ll be fine.” You tried to reassure him. He’d changed so much, gotten to see how much the crew actually cared about him. He’d be just fine even if you weren’t there with him to stand at the sidelines. Only if he could see that as well. “You don’t do this now, ye fucking hear me?” He said, brows furrowed. You looked at him, his eyes. He looked oddly blurry, your head was spinning from the lost blood. Though, you didn’t mention it to him. “I’m not going anywhere.” You grit your teeth, finding breathing a lot harder than it had been before. You wanted to go, if that meant the struggle would finally end. “But even if I did, I’d be leaving you with the…best possible people.”

Your gaze stayed on Izzy, trying to follow his lips in case you missed something he said. But he was silent, like he was holding back something. The first mate swallowed uncomfortably, leaning over carefully, just to hide his words from anyone else. “You need to tell me if you-” He started, but that was enough. A faint smile appeared on your face. “Of course I fucking love you.” You said, for his sake silently, but you didn’t find it in you to speak any louder anymore. Izzy froze for a moment, some tension leaving his shoulders as he nodded. It was subtle, but as long as you’d known him you’d learned to find even the most minimalistic emotions from his face. His jaw trembled, but his mouth opened and he silently replied; “I love you.” Which was enough for you, more than so. But at that moment, you hoped those words would have been said earlier. Then maybe, just maybe everything could have been different. “I’ll wait for you.” You said, the struggle starting to feel better, like it was coming to an end. Izzy’s face blurred into a soft darkness, which slowly became the only thing still holding you. 

AN// Requests for Izzy are open, I love writing for him ahhh >:(

[akria23]

Prom / Nont / Nant - Tis but a dream

I love this scene so much cause it nicely presents Prom’s side of the triangle. I honestly don’t think they should’ve even put the dialogue cause the scene itself shows what’s needed.

The dream isn’t about him being obsessed with twins, he’s not dreaming of being the meat in a twin sandwich. He engages each man alternately because it’s about how he sees them, how he feels about them.

The scene of course starts off with Prom in his favorite spot - attached to Nont’s back (I think his apparent love for cuddling tickles me because he’s not exactly mr touchy feely in general so it’s adorable that he’s a level 99 clinger when it’s someone he likes). When an arm slides around his waist and grabs his attention it comes to no surprise that when he turns around it’s Nant. Nant doesn’t look like Nant as we know him tho, he looks exactly like Nont because his hair is dyed. We know it’s Nant because of the small detail of his necklace. This is Prom’s mind, this is how he sees Nant…or rather how he struggles to remember him. It’s not about him seeing Nant as Nont as much as it’s about him starting to lose the details that made Nant, Nant. Nant has his attention but they rest at a sort of stalemate, Prom crouched over him while he looks up at Prom beguilingly. But when Nont turns over and seeks his attention there is no stalemate between them. He’s easily drawn back to Nont. It is Prom that places their heads together, seeking Nont’s space and a connection. It is Prom who initiates a kiss and as they embrace Prom is drawn more to Nont’s side while Nant is left curled up rejected.

This isn’t about the illicitness of twins, it’s about a man’s feelings transitioning from one brother to another. Prom has been trying to hold on to Nant, we saw it during the pool scene in his elation while expressing the possibility of Nant still being alive, in him making the deal with Nont later that night. But it’s clear that Nont is taking up more space in his mind, no matter how hard he tries to hold onto the memory of Nant.

And maybe that blame lays on Nont a bit fore it was he who sought out Prom, it was he who engaged with him under the guise of being his twin, it was he who blurred the lines when he asked Prom to have sex with him like he was Nant, because then the tiny pockets of space he had left for Nant were infiltrated.

The dream was an erotic one but I wouldn’t say it was much about sex at all. Sex is just the common ground both men allowed Prom to take up space in their lives. The relationships he had with either of them was to only be physical and wasn’t supposed to be about emotions. What he had with Nant was a business deal at best - he received sexual services and Nant received money. Any interest seemed to be unrequited. Even though the boundary is more thin when it comes to his relationship with Nont because the other sees him as a confidant, a partner (in the case), and someone he seeks comfort in Nont still made it clear early on that what they had was just supposed to be a temporary physical connection until they found out what happened to his brother. So if his mind is fighting to make him aware of his shifting feelings about both men that’s the space it’s gonna do it from because that’s the space most real to him. I don’t think the erotic aspect of the dream is much deeper than that.

I do think many ppl forget to look at Prom as a person instead of just as a suspect. Which I understand is easy to do cause he’s so measured, impassive, and the mysterious air around him makes it easy to get caught up in seeing him as a plotting killer & forget everything else. However, I think we miss a lot if we don’t consider Prom’s side of things. We consider Nont’s feelings as the brother, we consider the Baddies feelings as the friends, we consider Nuth’s feelings as the victim, but often Prom’s feelings are overlooked - even the admitted ones (after ep8 there were many who asked why Prom was speaking as if he had feelings for Nant or analysis that omitted/disregarded Prom’s admitted feelings). Prom doesn’t seem to have many friends - he never hangs with the Playboyys nor does he seem to have a camaraderie with Porsche. He was in a one sided relationship with Nant who disappeared and was different when he came back…because he was a Twin. This reveal left him having to cling to Nont to maintain access to Nant’s case and the continued connection lead to an emotional bond with Nont. Unfortunately, just as he’s becoming conscious to the sifting of his emotions, old secrets and lies may jeopardize that.

I do think Nont is gonna see the Dog Mask as a betrayal. The combination of sexual compatibility & thinking Prom was secretly in love with Nant made Nont feel Prom could be trusted, that he likely had done nothing to his twin. This trust & relatable care for a man they both missed had him opening the door for Prom to be his partner in sleuthing. Like I said before, Prom was his confidant - he was more open and honest with Prom about the inner workings of his mind when it came to the case than he was with any of the Baddies. He was comfortable with letting Prom at times decide what move they should make, what lead they should follow. Prom used this to his advantage and always led them away from him. Of course I don’t think Prom had anything to do with Nant’s murder no matter if he was Dog Mask or just more intel on it, I think his fear of discovery has more to do with how he feels Nont will react to not only the lie but the actions within the video and the possible motives behind it. What other secrets is entangled with that one? (Personally I wonder if he knew Nont wasn’t Nant from the very beginning - but that’s another conversation.)

Note: I wonder if the reveal of Prom’s secrets will place him in the dog house and have them separating for a bit because that’s something we haven’t seen from this particular pairing. No matter how resistant Nont has been or how they battle on the chess board so to speak, they would still orbit around the other for the case & the pleasure of sex.

Either way, I’m ready for the next episode.

[haastera]

Does this Art Secretly Depict UZI at the End of Season 1?

It'd be wild if this pre S1 art secretly depicts UZI at the end of S1, as with the way production works the story for Murder Drones S1 would have been more or less finalized by the the time Ep2 aired.

That's what I personally would have done were I Liam Vickers. Leave clues in plain sight that nobody would pick up on until much later.

If that's true N is 100% dying in Ep8.

-An N plushy in the claw's of the Absolute Solver

-I love N pin paired with crossed out heart

-UZI being the kind of tired sleep won't fix

-Look closely at UZI's 002 choker. There's two X's drawn on it. One for V, one for N, and as of Ep6 V is ostensibly dead.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 7 part 1

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

ah yes, episode 7, a notoriously low stakes one that people are not emotionally invested in whatsoever. a mere 9.1 on IMDB, nothing to write home about.

we start with lilia dying, because life and death are a never ending cycle. and also because the people who made this show are evil

she's like a teardrop. good fucking shot.

meanwhile billy is marching on, puffing his chest, all stone faced. agatha is pretending to be a nice little guy, to make friends.

she's really TRYING, okay?

rio's busy reaping alice's soul, but we don't reveal that until later. and LMAO agatha being all like, I'm gonna be OPEN and HONEST and a good ment- except for that I donwannatalkabouthat

agatha after she babysits a little boy once, scares him shitless and tries to kill his mom: we CLEARLY had a connection there

that poor little dash in the subtitles. fighting for its life to convey the chasm of time she leaves between ex and best friend

LET'S HEAR IT FOR REBECCA WHO RAISED THIS BOY FOR FAR LONGER THAN WANDA OR AGATHA EVER DID

but the unfortunate fact is, wanda still is his mother. or rather, she's the witch who thoughtlessly created him and left a big scar in her wake. he has to deal with all that.

marvel's powers that be: wanda maximoff is definitely dead-dead

jac schaeffer and co. every chance they get: she sure is!!! *big fat kathryn hahn wink at the camera*

if they ever do a 'marvel most iconic line' poll we as a fandom are voting for this one. just to be clear.

I saw some reactors going ooooh it's ho***rts. HOW DARE YOU SIR. that's the wicked witch castle. billy maximoff would never.

I've been asking myself WHY agatha simply doesn't tell billy about the nature of the Road, not even now that everything else is out in the open. the only answer I can come up with is that the Road is real and it's here and deadly, it's not in any way an illusion. and since the Road is linked to billy's emotional state, we dont' want him to go ballistic one he realizes he's been killing witches. agatha has decided she can only soldier through at this point and get herself and billy's home, they can talk about the implications later. yes, she's really scared of what billy can do.

I've also been trying to figure out the moon phases:

Full moon - water phase, blue, Jen.

Waning moon - fire phase, red, Alice.

Blood moon or lunar eclipse (still a full moon): spirit phase, purple, Agatha

Waxing moon: air phase, yellow, Lilia

New moon: earth phase, green, Rio

so we get full moon, waning, full moon again, waxing, new moon. they're completely out of order??

this whole trial is the equivalent of billy calling lilia a slur. no fr it's billy repeatedly beating lilia over the head with a stick and going, reCLAIM IT RECLAIM THE DAMN SLUR YOU WITCH

i find kathryn hahn as the wicked witch of the west alarmingly hot and i don't know what that says about me

billy is like, i effin KNEW I'd look this good. oh god, the Road was just an excuse to cosplay as maleficent all along

i love how these two find themselves alone for five minutes and immediately proceed to BUTCHER a trial. i'm overusing tumblr lingo these days and all, but I still gotta say it: there is one single braincell in this whole coven and lilia has it. it's like leaving two children in charge

a cursory google search tells me the two sphinxes represent light and darkness, you need to learn how to control both for the chariot to move forward

she always is!! sort of. kind of. mostly.

agatha, who's about as spiritual as a q-tip: how hard caN THIS BE

I can totally see her as a con artist counting cards in vegas

somehow I cannot picture evanora homeschooling her. or sending her to school at all, for that matter. you know this bitch is self-taught.

someone with more time than me should totally check if there's any rhyme or reason to the cards these two buffoons drew

I'm gonna end this entry with lilia's eyes again so it's another nice circle. a fun little ouroboros!

damn patti has such big doe eyes

go to episode 7 part 2

[goldom]

Ave Mujica ep8

Last time we finished the story of CRYCHIC, the CHICs who CRY. Now it is time for HAPPYCHIC, right?

1:04 AaAAaahahahahaha I don't think this tiny 3d model of Mutsumi floating across the screen hits quite the way they wanted it to

2:58 lol she's just saying it

3:55 Daaaaamn I REALLY need a full prequel season that shows how these two hurt each other so bad. They totally used to date, right?

4:45 Sakiko putting on this good-girl voice is so uncanny. She's still too scared to talk to Mutsumi as her (Saki's) genuine self.

6:03 aaaaaa first classicdori cameo of the season! And it's... on a recording, oh well.

6:22 omg noooo don't reunite CRYCHIC, don't reunite Mujica, just be friends without banding I know an impossible challenge in Bandori but cmonnn

8:43 I see the "girl sits silently in a chair" craze is still sweeping the nation.

Like seriously. Why is everybody so ga-ga for Mutsumi's acting skills. I could get it if they knew her dual personalities and interpreted them as characters she's acting out, but they don't, that's all been private.

9:20 oh, okay this woman does know Mutsumi. (Am I supposed to remember her?)

10:11 "Yeah this little kid I saw growing up with obvious mental illness scares me. What, get her help? Lmao no, I wanted to hire her." —a responsible adult

12:36 Yknow I don't love the way this series is going with "you can fix your mental disorders by force of will," but from what I know about the state of psychiatry in Japan I'm not surprised.

13:42 why does Umiri's mom look younger than her

14:30 looool Umiri: "someone said I'm unreliable" Woman A: "Nahh you're totally reliable, just stay with us!" Umiri: "No." *walks out* this is what Taki is talking about, girl

15:40 Umiri has had probably the least obvious evidence before of "something's wrong with this kid" compared to the rest of Ave Mujica, and boy is this episode speedrunning to catch up

18:15 100% the writers were thinking, "We really want to show her getting drunk, but we can't put that on air because she's underage. Just make her chug a soda or something."

18:28 did I call it or what

19:00 This is so funny, Umiri just sprinting through her entire dark past in 30 seconds while Nyamu's like "Hey, so I have to go..."

20:09 Oh hey, Uika is also in this series.

20:11 aaaand she's out.

21:00 Most pathetic temper tantrum ever performed. This is the star actor everybody's talking about?

I really liked this one. Umiri's probably my favorite AveMu.

[twig-tea]

Oppan ep8: 0 for 8 this episode got me thrice (should that be -3/8????)

I need to go to bed but had to update on one of the most beautiful episodes of anything aired to television. This is the culmination of so much work and so many missteps, and it was so, so satisfying to watch.

Makoto has made a few mistakes, and he has learned from them. Most importantly, he's admitted when he misstepped, apologized, and listened, and then applied what he learned in order to do better. And he started doing his own reading, so that he would have to rely less on everyone to teach him everything. In this episode, he used his experience and related to the boss Furuike-san in order to help him update too. Watching him use the skills he learned from Daichi while also passing along some of his updates was amazing.

I love that Kakeru realized he had been a little harsh on his parents, and that he noticed the parallels between himself and his father in terms of how they talk about themselves. The way Kakeru has gone from resenting his parents to being afraid of disappointing them is such good growth. And the way Makoto noticed Kakeru was uncomfortable, made time for him to be alone with Daichi, and tried to figure out on his own what Kakeru wanted but couldn't say really touched me. This man loves his son so much and is trying so hard. And the parent you're the most alike can most often be the one you fight with the most. I loved the way both of them responded the same way to Daichi's compliments.

Madoka being heartbroken and a mess broke my heart in turn; I was so glad Makoto was able to be there for him and act as a proxy father in a way to say some of the things Madoka needed to hear. I also love that Madoka put in context for Makoto that it's ok he's not the one his kid can talk to first, that's actually normal. THIS IS WHY QUEER KIDS NEED OLDER QUEER MENTORS WHO AREN'T THEIR PARENTS. Madoka asking Makoto to accept Daichi as a suitor to his son as a proxy for Madoka's parents accepting him hurt my heart so, so much.

I liked Madoka needing to hear that Daichi was stepping away to protect him, and that he was worrying about him, in order to be able to face the risk of coming out and hug Daichi in public. Sometimes it is much easier to be brave for someone else.

Makoto telling Kakeru that he doesn't have to fake liking things on his (Makoto's) behalf anymore hit me in the solar plexus. "It's enough" is something I'll be thinking of for a long time. Kakeru hearing that and feeling safe enough to tell his dad the truth about what he wants in life and from the fair was an incredible growth moment. And Kakeru asking his dad to teach him to shoot rather than just asking for the necklace was perfection, particularly since Makoto stepped up and did and also let him fail.

Makoto putting the necklace on Kakeru was a beautiful touch, especially the part where he really didn't know how to compliment him and made a hash of it, but his mistake was much less harmful then it might have been.

Finally, we capped off with Madoka taking Daichi's hand while watching the fireworks at the festival and the cuteness was on overload.

Tears watch: Makoto saying to Madoka that it's not his fault he is afraid to come out to his parents; Madoka hugging Daichi in public; Makoto telling Kakeru "it's enough" and then Kakeru feeling safe enough to tell his dad about his hopes for the future and what he wants from the stall but asking his dad to teach him to do it himself and his dad letting him learn, and then putting the necklace on him. I was sobbing for at least 5 minutes.

This show is truly incredible

Huge thanks as always to @isaksbestpillow for bringing this show into my life, both the knowledge of it and the subtitles.

[bird-inacage]

bird-inacage's BL Meta Directory

For all you meta lovers out there, I've collated a master index where you can easily find all the deep dives I have written in long-form around BL shows I've watched or am currently watching. This is being updated in real time.

The Heart Killers Meta Index *CURRENTLY POSTING*

EP10: Kantbison Reunite (Acting Highlights)

EP8: The Significance of Kantbison's Safe Word

EP7: The Boat Scene 'Do you want to jump or do you want to fall?'

EP6-EP7: "You think I'd go on living if you died?"

EP4: Kantbison as "Partners in Crime"

EP4: Is Bison Playing Dumb?

EP2: Kant's Game of Deception

EP1: Early Hints into Kant's Backstory

EP1: Kant & Bison's Desire for Agency

Character Interviews (Kant/Bison Focus)

Predictions: Kant as Bison's Keys to Freedom

Character Styling Update (FirstKhao Focus)

Pilot Trailer: Initial Observations (FirstKhao Edition)

ARCHIVE

Love Sea Meta Index (10 posts linked)

Only Friends Meta Index (22 posts linked)

Love in the Air Meta Index (38 posts linked)

BL REVIEWS

Only Friends (2023)

Bed Friend (2023)

The Eclipse (2022)

Love in the Air (2022)

[tundraplateau]

Warning: A lot of swearing and mild spoilers. Unless you have watched MD Ep8, read at your own risk.

Just watched Episode 8 and i am fucking on the verge of loseing it i am speedtyping this shit because i want to screanm but it's like 11pm where i am rn and i don't want to incure the ire of my family so now i'm just writing this while trying to calm down because i cannooot fucking calm down

Okaaaayyyyy, calmed down a bit mid-writing of this so I can finally articulate stuff properly.

inhale

Murder Drones Episode 8 - Absolute End is something that I have anticipated for a long time. And shock of all shock, god of all gods, whatever other expressive bullshit there is, I fucking loved every single second.

Even while calmed down, my heart is still beating like crazy after that. It was spectacle in the best way possible. Every scene is varying flavors of eyecandy. The whole thing was like one long continuous fight scene from start to end, I thought that the humor landed well and godDAMN this has given us so much fuel for fan fiction.

The eldritch monstrosity has been defeated, every major character is alive (except Doll, tho possibly not if you take the credits sequence into consideration) AND THE SHIP HAS FUCKING SAILED LESGOOOOOOOOOOOO

While I cannot claim I was here from the beginning (in fact for some reason unknown to myself I actively avoided it and only got it during the wait between Ep6 and 7), I think I can gladly call myself a fan cuz I was punching the air and kicking my feet like crazy and I am so happy that I watched this series.

All in all, I loved the Murder Drones finale and I am gonna try to relish this feeling for as long as I can.

To everyone at @liamvickersanimation, @glitchproductions and anyone else who worked on this that I'm not aware of, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.