#love how they just used a green light and was like...that sexy motherfucker is now hypnotized 😵‍💫

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

All hypnosis scenes from Diary of a Madman (1963)

[theunholygrails]

Foolish Games Part 2

Masterlist

A/N: Introducing new characters and some drama! Percy is still sexy as ever :'(.

Warnings: BJ

I woke up to a door slamming so hard it joined the symphony of my pounding headache. I groaned, hoisting myself over the back of the couch to investigate to intrusion. A brunette head of long sweeping hair rushed through the foyer, barreling towards the kitchen. A familiar mop of black hair hurried after.

Reyna was speaking so fast in Spanish my brain scrambled to keep up. I noted lots of curse words followed by a series of sentences too fast I was surprised she even knew what she was saying. Percy was answering in slow measured words, probably fighting a hangover of equal measure. I ducked behind the back of the couch, reaching for my phone plugged in on the coffee table.

It was noon. 2% battery and a couple messages from friends. Nothing from my ex thank gods. Five from Annabeth being nosey. I opened my uber app, squinting in the sunlight breaking through the cream curtains. I managed to get my driver secured.

A door slammed and I winced, peaking to check that they were in another room. I did not immediately spot my dress in the chaotic. I grimaced remembering the midnight swim. When I sat up I finally noticed the white tshirt I wore and the basketball shorts. And then I went rigid remembering what happened after the swim.

“Motherfucker,” I whispered.

Now I really had to get out of this house. I checked the arrival time of my driver. Three minutes away. Great. I made my way on shaky knees to the large wooden front door. My keys were still in the collection dish. I grabbed them quietly and turned the door handle a fraction of an inch before another door slammed open and Reyna came barreling back into the foyer, brown eyes landing promptly on my guilty ass. Behind her, Percy pursed his lips into a thin line and raised both of his hands to lay on top of his head. His biceps strained nicely against the thin t shirt.

“The fuck is this?” Reyna whispered.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” I babbled.

“It’s just Noa, Rey. Gods,” Percy said.

“I can see that, Percy!” She snapped. I was glad her spear was not strapped across her back this morning. “Why is she sneaking out of my house in your clothes?”

“People were swimming last night. Her clothes got wet.”

“I’m sure the fuck they did.”

“Zeus, Rey! You ended it with me. Why does it even matter?”

“Because I still fucking love you! I’m sorry, okay?” She burst out crying and Percy instantly pulled her against his chest. The memory of being in those arms drove me out the door like a nest of hornets.

~~~~

“I’m just saying. You have nothing to feel sorry for,” Annabeth paused to sip her iced coffee. “Unless they get back together and then you sleep with him. But as of right now, you’re good. Trust me. Been on the Percy train. We’re still friends. You’ll get over it. Just a harmless rebound for both of you.”

I groaned, laying my chin on the cool metal table parked outside our favorite coffee shop positioned between our New York apartments. Just two Manhattan women enjoying their Sunday afternoon. The air was cooling as fall neared. I pulled my baseball cap closer to the top of my sunglasses.

“Should I call him?”

“Maybe tomorrow. Let him deal with his relationship drama. Reyna is a lot to deal with. Still nothing from fuckface?”

“Nope and that’s fine.”

“Good for you. We will hydrate you, get you a good dinner, hit the gym before work in the morning and then get back on our bad bitch mental track. Agreed?”

~~~~

“Good Monday, yogis,” I chirped from my desk at the corner of my studio.

The third class was beginning to trickle in and I was settling into my rhythm. Hot yoga was next and hopefully I would sweat out all the negativity I’d allowed lately. I was in the middle of emailing back a potential client when someone rapped at the wood of my desk. I glanced up to a blonde male who waved gently.

“Heya, sansei Noa,” he said.

“That’s karate. Can I help you?”

“Do you do trial classes?”

I hit send on my email and closed my laptop. The guy was built like a poser with the defined muscles and chiseled jaw but his voice was soft and tempered. He was clean shaven and dressed like a basic gym bro.

“Normally you have to schedule them beforehand because of class size,” I gave my standard answer.

“Right, my bad. Sorry. I was just passing by the front and it looked like the kind of place I needed right now. Can I go ahead and pick a date then?”

I was staring too long into his pale blue eyes, honed in on the polite response. A nice change from the daily demanding consumers. “You know what? Ive got space right now if you like? Have you ever done hot yoga?”

A brilliant white smile showcasing sharp canines. “My favorite.”

“Perfect. I just need a name, number and email to get you a file started.”

He leaned large hands on my desk. “It’s Luke Castellan.”

Before he could give the contact information, I cut him off. “Wait. I know you.” His tanned skin paled significantly.

“I…”

“You’re supposed to be dead!” I blurted out.

His eyes skated around the room and he leaned in closer. “That’s not supposed to be public knowledge. I assume you’re a demigod?”

“Luke, you trained me. We took fucking sculpting together. The Apollo table was right next to the Hermes one for fuck’s sake.”

He winced. I heard a murmuring from the rest of my class I was disturbing with my volume. I collected my shock finally. “Take a seat if you want. We should talk after class. I need to start.”

“Okay. Thank you. I’m sorry Noa.”

I waved him off and walked over to my yoga mat. I sat cross legged and drew in an even breath to smooth out my emotions.

It was a slow 30 minute class. Each pose and movement dragged on. Finally, I dismissed the group and nodded Luke outside. He was waiting on the bench outside of the studio I split renting with a few other instructors. I sat next to him, wiping sweat from my face with the towel slung over my pink sports bra.

“Alright, talk,” I said.

“Not much to say. I was given a second chance at my hearing. Here I am. Starting over.” A shrug of well-defined shoulders. The muscles flexed beneath his gleaming sweat. His red tank top stuck to his chest and stomach. “I wish I remembered you, truly. That time is such a blur in my life.”

“It’s ok. You were a lot older than me and to be honest I had a massive crush on you so I probably hid most of the time.”

A surprised smile slipped across his lips. “I’m assuming the betrayal helped you get over that?”

I laughed outloud, slapping his knee. “No shit! So where are you staying these days?”

“Just around the corner actually. Got a job at the local gym.”

“Yeah I bet the fuck you did.” I squeezed his forearm between both of my hands. I wanted to roll my eyes at me falling back into my school girl giddy at him. Betrayal of the gods aside. He was even more gorgeous than ever. The scar down his face gave him a dark sexy vibe. Like a bad boy even though he claimed he was rehabbing himself now.

“So how, did you feel about the class?”

“I mean, I’d like to sign up for it a couple times a week, that’s for sure. And I’d like to take you out to dinner to make up for not remembering a beauty like you.”

I almost bit my cheek biting out the response of “Yes!”

“You’ve got my number,” he said, chuckling quietly. “I’ve got to get to work.” He shouldered his gym bag and excused himself.

The bike back to my apartment was spent reliving my tween fantasies about bad boy Luke. I opened my apartment door and screeched seeing a man sitting at my kitchen counter. Percy turned to face me.

“You know you live in New York? You should really lock that.”

“It was!” I snapped.

A quick grin. “Yeah. But it was easy to break into.”

I dropped my bag onto the floor and brushed past him to get a protein shake from the fridge. “I have to shower and get prepared for my night classes.” I told him.

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t either.”

He paused, studying my face in the shitty lighting of the single bulb hanging between us over the counter. “Are we good, Noa?”

“Of course. What’s a little head between friends?”

“Okay…I can’t read you. Can you not play tough just for a minute?”

I chugged the shake and set the bottle down between us. I leaned my arms on the chilled counter, bun knocking against the light. “Honestly, Percy. I’m fine. We are good.”

“Reyna moved back in.”

“You’re engaged again?”

I drank from the empty bottle to give myself something to do. He watched me with those green eyes. He’d known me for far too long. He was nearly impossible to deceive, but I was determined today. The fact that I had dreamt of fucking him two consecutive nights was irrelevant if he was off the table. Even if his lips did look incredibly juicy tonight. Even if they had done near illicit things to me just nights ago.

“I don’t know. She said she wanted to work on things. And it’s her dad’s house, so I can’t ask her to go and I don’t want to go to my mom’s and admit defeat.”

“You know you could stay here, Perc.”

He worked his jaw silently, then rubbed his hands over his face. “Thanks. I do know. Even if we aren’t officially back together, I think we should work on it…” he trailed off.

“And not tell her about you eating me out?” I leaned closer because I was mean to both him and myself. Because I knew this top combined with this angle gave him a simple opportunity. And he took it.

His tongue slid out between his lips as his eyes flicked down, stayed, then dragged deliberately back up. “Probably not,” he agreed.

For a long moment neither of us said anything. He had more to lose now than me. We were no longer on equal playing fields. So, I left the ball in his court. “I’m going to go shower.”

I was done washing in the first ten minutes. The second ten was giving him a little wiggle room to decide. I had my hand on the faucet to cut off the water that was beginning to go cold when I heard the door creak open. I watched through the fogged glass, catching a hold of my breath. I watched as he tugged his shirt off. My stomach flipped over itself when he reached for his jeans. What had I done?

The opening door let in a rush of cool air, perking my skin to attention. My eyes raked unapologetically over his naked, aroused body. His dark hair quickly slicked against his stubble covered jaw. His eyes were no longer the sea green but murky like the deep water of the ocean.

“Hey,” he said quietly, cautiously.

“Hey,” I giggled, reaching out to touch his rough jaw. He winced, catching my hand with his. “We probably shouldn’t kiss again.”

“Sure, whatever you want, Percy. What can I do to you?”

He groaned, turning his mouth into my palm, scraping teeth against the vulnerable skin. “Touch me,” he said.

My free hand instantly planted against his chest, scraping at the muscle. His eyes fluttered closed, head tilting back to expose his throat. I slid my other hand into his thick hair, tugging it tightly between my fingers and pulling to grant myself more access to the strong column of his neck. I bit it first, backing him into the tiled wall when he shuddered. I kissed over the reddening skin and moved my hands to his flat stomach, feeling the shuddered breaths beneath my touch.

“Like this?” I asked.

His reply was unintelligible. I kissed down his chest, moving my hand lower still as I went. When my fingers brushed over the v-line of his hips, I shifted my route away from the center and to his thighs. An annoyed grunt escaped his lips. “Hush,” I scolded, getting my knees under me. The now cold water was hitting the back of my neck and flowing down my body. I placed my hands on the inside of both his thighs, trailing them upwards and upwards until he nearly contorted when I gripped him. He let out a scandalous string of curses that quickly turned to moaning silence when I took him into my mouth.

He unraveled in minutes and I let him cum all over the breasts I had teased him with earlier. I rose in front of him, my own rosy cheeks mirroring his. “Now we’re even.”

[magicxc]

Spliff

Pairings: Sam Wilson x Black!Fem!Reader 

Summary: You and Sam enjoy a beach day full of vibes. 

Word Count: 865

Warnings: PG- 13, Smoking, Dry Humping, Kissing, Nipple Touching

A/N: I’m not sure how to tag this honestly, but there's brief mentions of nudity and some swapping of the spit, so according to Cinema guidelines, PG- 13 should be fine. I wanna thank these lovelies @samwilsonfest​ for hosting this event and showing Sam some much needed love. Also Happy Belated Birthday to the man himself, Anthony Mackie, I hope he continues to thrive <3 I would’ve loved to post yesterday, but today works fine. I like to think of this piece as my birthday gift for him, from me, to me lol. My prompt was sunglasses and without further ado, enjoy!!

Taking a long drag, I lower the blunt and inhale all that my grass has to offer. It's a different strain than I'm used to, but there’s an earthy scent to it. This is a warm combination of rosemary and sage, something Sam insisted on for its hEaLtH bEnEfItS; and I'm surprised to say, it's not half bad. 

I'm only a few puffs in and already feeling hazy. And I get excited as hell because this is about to be a good ass session. My chest starts to burn, having held my breath too long, letting me know that it's time to exhale; and I lean over to do just that. My lips meet Sam's whose own are partially ajar and I blow the excess smoke into his mouth. His big, brown eyes are a dull shade of red, behind his sunglasses, and his heavy lids are cast down. 

Inhaling, Sam peers down at me with a playful smirk, gracing his lips, and I let out a heavy groan because how does he manage to make shotgunning look so sexy. After a quick peck to his lips, I lean back and bask in the feather light feeling of my limbs. Handing the joint over to Sam, I close my eyes as I feel a cool breeze wash over my face. The sun is hitting just right as my body soaks up all the vitamin D it has to offer and I wonder what other source of D I can be lucky enough to soak up today. 

A quiet moan rolls off my tongue as I turn on my side to face Sam. There's a cloud of smoke above his face and a newfound calmness in the air. I guess this must be the health benefits; straight vibes. 

Dropping my hand to the ground, I dig it into the warm sand, crushing the pink grains in between my fingers. There’s a distant, yet constant humming and it takes me a while to realise that it's Sam speaking to me. Faded, my mind is neither here nor there as I ask him to repeat himself. 

“Babe, you wasn’t listening to nothing I just said?” he questioned. 

“No, I didn't baby, I'm sorry,” I mumbled. “What’d you say?”

“I said get your ass in the water and come get that body wet for me.”

“But I'm wet already, how much wetter do you want me,” I tease. 

Reaching forward, Sam places the spliff between my lips, and hauls me onto his lap to face him. 

“I want you drenched,” Sam enunciated. And drenched I am, you suave motherfucker. 

Leaning back into his chair, he tugs on the strings of my top, letting them fall, as I, in turn, take a pull from the wood. Placed between my middle and pointer fingers, with my hand hovering in the air, I drag my other hand across his chest, and up to his face; tossing those horrid sunglasses to the side. 

We had recently gone thrifting and what started out as a joke, has since turned into Sam wearing the damn thing every chance he gets. When he’s cooking. When he’s fishing, which I get. And now, he wears it when he’s cleaning. It's a goofy pair of green, weed, sunglasses and yeah it makes me laugh, but now all I do is cringe. My absolute last straw was Sam attempting to wear them during sex. It was either take them off or suffer the consequences. I swear I'm gonna accidentally break them on purpose. 

I blow the remaining smoke into his face and that earns me a sharp slap to my ass. So I slowly grind into his dick and a deep moan emerges from Sam as he takes a hold of my ass and rubs it against his hardening member. Sinking down even further, I circle my hips above his pelvis and raise my hand to his mouth for him to take another pull.  

Drawing in a breath, Sam takes it from my hand and puts it out. I bend forward, with both hands pressed against his chest, and push my lips forward, awaiting the incoming gust of smoke. It slips through my lips and rolls over my tongue into my throat. There's a fullness to my lungs and I exhale through my nose, arching forward to capture Sam's lips. 

Wrapping his arms around my waist, he helps pull me forward and soon enough, our nipples are touching, only the jewelry from mine adds to the cooling sensation on his; and already I feel them hardening. He sucks on my bottom lip and takes the opening of my mouth as his chance to slide his tongue inside. Our tongues run over the other, soft and smooth to the touch, tasting our earlier smoke session; as his hands slides down to my ass, cupping and squeezing. 

Continuing to grind into each other, my hand inches up into his fluffy hair to grab a fistful. A grumbling noise follows and my once slow heart beat speeds up in pace; with only one thing in mind; okay maybe two. We pull away with a pop as Sam asks 

“So, are you gonna get in that water, or do I have to take you?”

[amateurasstrologer]

THE SIGNS #12 TAURUS

No. 2 in the crew, but last in our Signs sequence, may I present: Taurus. This bitch is right up there with every other sign fighting for the spot of Most Misunderstood. Let’s get into it.

First: your friendly every day reminder that everyone has Taurus somewhere in their chart, so everyone has Taurus playing out somewhere in their life. None of us can escape any of it, babies.

Second: Despite being the First Earth, Taurus is surprisingly hard to pin down. What do we actually know about Taurus? Stubborn, Earth, money, edible arrangements, living in their mom’s basement and/or a luxury apartment. Okay. No. Well, yes, there’s the basic model ultra-rude, mega-deaf, lowkey-sexy Taurus that we all fell in love with once but actually can’t stand to be around for more than 10 minutes - but then there’s the other, healthier Taurus, who’s receptive, dimensional, practical and real. You know which Taurus you are and, bitch, if you’re the first one, please change.

Every Taurus in the place screaming “NO not change:” I hear you. Just wait. Why is change particularly hard for these babies? Easy. One reason: pressure.

The most overlooked Taurus motivator is pressure. These people are motherfucking under it. All Taurus heavy homies feel it differently, but you better believe every one of these sweet babies is scared as fucking shit. They’re all operating at maximum stress. Taurus wants to make shit happen - to do it right - and so naturally, they're all scared as shit they’re gonna fall short. Taurus feels the expectations of their history, acutely. Taurus recognizes that anything with real, true value sustains. Longevity is necessary. And so Taurus spends every day trying to piece together the past and the future, agonizing over how to create a life that’s truly valuable, sustainable, and real. Then, the fuckers repress all these feelings of terror with the quickness and end up coming across as combative crusty no fucks giving very hilarious assholes.

We gotta remember: Taurus is only the second baby on the scene - Aries is all intuition, inspiration, passion, potential; Taurus is carrying all the pressure of turning that potential into something real (cue: First Earth), a foundation that could support the other ten signs. It’s a heaviness none of us airy, fiery, watery hoes could imagine! Now, that being said, Taurus doesn’t get the green light to be a complete piece of shit just because it’s drowning in a pool of self-imposed responsibility. Rigidity is every Earth signs toxic trait - it takes serious strength for Taurus to acknowledge its feelings of insecurity and work towards identifying what shit really matters and which values are worth building a life from, instead of blindly accepting whatever shit was handed down to them and calling it good in a whack attempt to like, skip over the entire fucking process.

The most underplayed Taurus quality is strength. Every Taurus heavy person is strong - the key is figuring out how to harness that dank energy and direct it. Too often Taurus is like: strength? The power to improve and direct my life? Nah. Instead, let’s just grip onto the past so tight they’ll never be able to tear us off it. Ugh, Taurus. Please. That strength isn’t there for picking fights, being stubborn, all those classic Taurus tropes - you have that strength because you fucking need it. Taurus is a cute magnet you got in 2008 and The Past is a fridge. It takes the force of ten thousand biceps to punch away the fear fumes and tear Taurus’s ass away from the pull of bad habits, rusty values, and ugly relationships. Good thing the mf is the Mr. Olympia of the zodiac.

Venus rules Taurus. Why? No, it’s not because Taurus is all love letters and soft silky blankets and rare vintages of Châteauneuf-du-Pape and kinky sex. It’s because Venus is all about values, and Taurus is on the same shit. Birds of a feather, bitches. Taurus is the link between the past and the future - it’s meant to show us what shit has real value, what qualities are enduring, what beliefs are supportive and productive. Taurus, do what you do best and remember where you came from (you came from Aries). When Taurus remembers its real value comes from inside itself (thanks, Aries), it can stop huffing the fear fumes and shake some of the pressure off. Everything in its right place, Taurus. Stop leaving your inside toys outside.

When Taurus quits regretfully counting up the minutes its wasting jacking off to pictures in its History textbook, and centralizes its value instead, putting its strength and attention towards creating a better, healthier future, it cracks its fucking shit wide open. Progressive beliefs, reciprocal relationships, a sustainable life - beautiful, powerful, rooted as fuck: Taurus at its best.

At its healthiest, Taurus refines its beliefs and lives by its principles. Taurus understands better than any of the other signs that it’s just one tiny little link on the never ending Chain of Life. But, when Taurus deals with its feelings and knows it’s own worth, this grumpy baby teaches us that whoever we are, wherever we are, whatever we got going on, we can live well. We can create a life that feels good. When it’s at its best Taurus says: we can value ourselves (thanks, Venus) and we can be proud of our little spot on the chain.

Taurus - be sweet, share, and show us all how it's done.

XO BULLSHIT FREE ASTROLOGY

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine: Part Two

Erik and Reader have an office fling.

Warnings: SMUT. Straight to the nasty shit. 

Like and Reblog! xoxoxo!

You hold your hands in your lap while Erik’s large masculine hand brushed and fondled your upper thigh. He would take his fingers to wrap around your thick thigh before squeezing it. Your eyes trailed down to his smooth veiny hand watching him knead your flesh with a firm grasp before releasing it. This made you move your knees from side to side. Now, Erik’s fingers began to tickle your inner thigh. 

“I love how you came out of the house with some pants on, Y/N,” He spoke with a dry tone. 

“I’m sorry,” You were going to wear a denim skirt at first but since there were no other plans besides going back to his place you figured the velour tracksuit was better. So much for that. Erik wanted to feel your skin and have easier access to that juicy pussy. You couldn’t blame his persistence and determination to have you. Untamed and primal, Erik fits his large hand no matter how difficult into the front of your track pants. His entire hand cupped your pussy. You felt silky, smooth, delicate, and creamy down there. Satisfaction crowded his features as he maneuvered the car and rubbed his large hand over your heated and engorged lips. 

“You tryna sit this swollen pussy on my dick?” 

“Mhm, Daddy.” You allow your eyes to watch his hand move up and down between your legs. The fabric of the tracksuit was digging into your hips and frustrating you. Squirming, you pull your pants down and kicked it off along with your slides. Erik was now greeted with the sight of your waxed mound covered in drenched teal green panties. The entire crotch was juicy and sopping wet. Legs wide and limber, you provide better access for Erik’s large hand to rub, flick, and finger your pussy to his enjoyment. 

“Dassit’ give that pussy up,” He yanks the crotch of your panties to the side watching your pussy involuntarily contract with need. The third leg in Erik’s track pants throbbed like a pulse. That’s exactly why he wore track pants. His dick needed breathing room so it could grow and expand comfortably. 

“Your shit is so wet. Little pussy is begging me right now.”

“Umph, Yes-” you moan as he slaps your pussy.

“Grab my dick. Now.”

You reach across his lap to grab his pipe. Your pussy spasmed.

“Feelin’ that?” He spoke huskily.

“Mhm.” 

“This what you playing wit’ tonight, girl. All this long dick.”

“Umph, Daddy-”

“Spread them pussy lips so I can see that sweet pink.”

You used your free hand to spread your pussy wide. Your labia looked like fleshy wings leading up to your erect and succulent clit. Then there was that tight plundering hole with your syrup oozing out and down the crack of your ass. Erik’s tongue poked out and flicked towards his upper lip while making deep grunting and growling sounds. 

“You’re so sweet, Baby girl,” Erik takes his fingers to slide them inside your pussy. You choke on a moan because you hadn’t expected that so suddenly. He was finger-fucking your pussy greedily. His fingers worked up a frenzy while your hands weakly grabbed his arm to bury your face in. 

“You’re so sweet, so beautiful, baby, oh my God, baby, Y/N, fuck, girl, you’re so fucking sexy, look at my fingers, fuck, look at the way I stuff this pussy with my fingers, shit.”

You couldn’t look no matter how hard you tried. He made you jolt to the rhythm of his fingers. The loud squelching noises coming from your pussy was beyond what you’ve ever heard and experienced. You would have never known your pussy could get this wet if it wasn’t for Erik. Or this stretched with fingers. You find yourself taking a peek and fuck, your pussy was wide open. Erik’s fingers were literally scooping the cream out your pussy. Fingers all fat and curled in that tight puss. Your eyes roll and then just like before, you bury your face into his arm and bite his jacket. 

“You watching me?” he murmured.

“Umph, Daddy, I can’t.”

“Why not?” He curls his fingers further, “Mm, I’m getting that ain’t I?”

“Fuck,” Your mouth unhinged.

After increasing the motion of his fingers to make you moan, Erik takes his fingers out to admire. Slimy, creamy, dripping wet from his fingertips down to his wrist, Erik was starved the way he lapped and sucked on his fingers. You would think he was eating a chef special. This man is a savage. Licking and slurping on his fingers like a famished man. It was so primal and sexy you couldn’t hold back the whimpers from your mouth. 

“Here,” He uses his wet hand to grab your hand firmly, “Touch Daddy dick.”

While you reached into his track pants to grab his heavy and plump dick, Erik uses his fingers yet again to stroke your pussy.

“Let me dig back in there,” He couldn’t be stopped even if there was a gun pointed to his temple. 

“Uh-Uhhh-Uhhhh-Daddy!” 

“Yeah? Yeah, baby girl?” 

“Mmm!” Your legs went up to push your feet into the dashboard. You were sweating, panting, shuddering. His powerful hand slapped against your mound causing you to lift your hips from the seat to fuck his fingers. It’s intense and wild the way he finger-fucks you.

“GIMMIE that FUCKING cum,” he spoke with a gruff tone while twirling his thick fingers in your tight pussy. 

“Oooooo, Babyeee,” You squeeze his dick in your hand as he raked the cum out of your pussy with his fingers alone. He didn’t even need to rub your clit. He was slipping and sliding all around your pussy. His fingers poked and stroked your walls deliciously. 

“Keep stroking this Daddy dick, Y/N, come on,” He barked out with his powerful voice that would have brought you to your knees if it wasn’t for this car.

“I’m trying- Uhhh! Umph! Oooooo, Fffuckkkk! Baybeeee-”

His fingers were rapid, fervent, brutal, thick, merciless.

“YEAH.” He practically roared, “Make a big fucking mess in my seat.” His voice was so damn deep and harsh-sounding. You loved that shit a lot. The complete opposite of hearing him talk in the office during meetings and over the phone. Boy, were you lucky.

His fingers made their way into his mouth again. Erik sucked on each one like they were covered in honey. He started from his pinky all the way to his thumb. That’s how wet you are. You had his entire hand covered in your mess. 

“Baby Girl,” Erik reaches across as he approached a red light to grab the back of your neck, “Suck this Daddy dick.”

You unbuckle your seatbelt before crouching down lower in your seat to lean over his lap. As soon as your face hovered over his lap, Erik smoothed your braids from your cheek and palmed the back of your head to bring your lips closer to his dick. You wrap your stretched lips around him and held on tight as the car rocked and swerved. Erik drove one-handed while his other hand bobbed your head up and down his dick. 

“Suck it like that,” Erik’s hips would lift from the seat a little to pump into your mouth while his hand pets the back of your head, “Good girls like you get a dick in the mouth. You see this dick?” Erik pulled your mouth off of him by gripping your braids, “It’s your Daddy dick, right?”

“Y-yes,” You were horny, pussy soaked, reaching out to stroke him. 

“Give it a nice squeeze,” His black eyes bore into yours before they closed slowly from your little hand wrapped around him tightly, “You know the type of squeeze I’m talking about too,” He smiles.

“Mmm, yes, Daddy-”

“That squeeze that makes my dick jump-”

“Daddy, I want more-”

“This your dick you better suck this motherfucker like it's yours. Prove it,” Erik spoke roughly. 

You practically felt the way Erik’s body shivered when your lips wrapped around him again. 

“Hmph,” He would make that noise over and over while breathing deeply through his wide nostrils, “Hmph, mhm,” His dick throbbed in your mouth with each suck. Putting on his turn signal, Erik drove into his penthouse garage. His head would slightly lull back and his mouth would open and close while your lips slurped him up. Now you had his eyelids fluttering as he tried to park his car. As soon as he got his car in his spot it was game over. Erik unfastened his seat belt and fully focused his attention on you now that both of you were safely off the road.

Erik dragged his tongue across his bottom lip, “Oh, my God, girl,” He hisses, “You know Daddy needs his dick sucked.”

“MMM, Daddy-” You speak with a mouth full of rock hard pipe. 

“You ain’t going nowhere.” His voice was so gravely and dangerous. It made you shiver.

“Ima’ fuck this pussy up when we get in that house.” 

“Daddy, yes-” You look up at him with soft eyes while your hand jerked his spit covered dick. 

“You wanna suck on me like this, just you wait.” 

“Umph, Daddy-” You talk and moan with a mouth full of dick again. Gotta work that dick until you get every last drop. 

“You’re such a good fucking girl, dassit’, DASSIT’, uh-huh, UGHHH, That’s how you make Daddy nut, baby, I need a nasty bitch to please my dick s-so good-”

That dick came hard and strong in your mouth. All that nut shooting down your throat. You are that nasty bitch. He looked so sexy when he came. Even sexier than he already was. Erik grabs the base of his dick to slap your lips with it. Your hand slithered between your legs to rub your clit. Pussy still soaking wet and ready to be entered. With heavy panting and sighing you climb onto Erik's lap, get into a squat, and grab his dick. His eyes burned into your face when you took it upon yourself to wedge his expansive pipe into your pussy. He was staring daggers at you. That king-sized dick balls deep in your pussy while your graceful body arched and stretched to fuck him. You didn’t move your hips yet. Your brain was still trying to catch up. Erik didn’t move either. He was too busy glaring at you with his sweaty face. You knew that he wanted you in his penthouse but fuck it, that pussy was aching. 

“Did you really just sit that pussy on my dick?” 

“Umph,” You moan weakly. 

“Y/N,” Erik closes his eyes before staring at you again with dilated pupils, “Did-you-just-sit-that-pussy-on-my-dick?!” 

“Yes,” You cry and whimper.

“Baby,” Erik harshly slaps your ass with an angry mug on his handsome face, “Why,” He does it again, “Would you do that?” He whacked that ass extra hard like he was using a belt, “HUH?!”

“Daddy! Please fuck me! Please!”

“Why the FUCK did you do that?” Now he was striking your ass without stopping. You cave each time he strikes your ass. Swollen and sore, you can’t take it anymore. 

“Answer me,” He growls roughly. 

“Because I want some dick,” You reach behind you to push his hands away but Erik had something for that. He popped that ass again causing your head to fall against his shoulder. 

“Dick hungry, bitch,” He spoke with spite, “Ride this Daddy dick.”

Y/N was so astounded by Erik’s cutthroat and abrupt tone. He was like a two-faced coin. On one side of the coin he was charming and sweet, a man who strives to improve the health of living organisms, and on the other side of the coin, he was dominant with a filthy mouth, some good dick, and strong sex appeal. 

“I don’t feel that pussy gripping my dick you better start bouncing before I pop these big ol’ cheeks on you again...yeah...dassit’...I need this long motherfucker rode just like this, I bet that ass looks so good bouncing off this dick.”

“Daddy, I’m so happy,” You didn’t stop. You kept going. Getting all of Erik’s dick. He was giving you the attention that you needed. 

“You needed some dick deep in your pussy, I believe it, baby.” Erik dragged his teeth over his bottom lip, “I’m in your shit now, fuck that.”

You wanted to show Erik that you are definitely a keeper. You could hear your pussy as you fucked him and you were so wet that his dick easily slid in and out of your tightness. 

“Damn, baby. You’re a motherfucking beast.” Erik praised you.

“Uhhh! Mmmm, baby-”

“What do you want, girl? Making all that fucking noise,” Erik taps your ass, “Talk to me.”

“Daddy, I want it-”

“What the fuck is IT I don’t know what that is, ma.” His hips started pumping up into yours, “Answer me, Y/N. This good grip on my dick, you better use some words that make sense. you asked for it, ma.”

“I wanna cum,” You grab the back of his neck as your eyes roll into your head, “Oh, my God, Daddy-”

“Spread them legs and hold that position, that’s right, pussy look good as fuck taking all this dick. Pussy pumping my dick like you tryna milk me, girl...this how you give a nigga some pussy.”

“Umph! Ahhhh, Baybeee-”

“Cream on it,” Erik commands.

“Daddy-”

“Want me to fuck this pussy for you?” Erik grabs your hips and pushes his dick up into you, “Want Daddy to keep going until you cum? That shit is wet as fuck, ma.”

“Daddy make my pussy feel good,” You open your mouth but no words come out. Erik’s dick was digging deep in your pussy. He stroked with a rhythm of his hips that made you flutter around him. Your cream coated him and the feeling of you gripping him made Erik hold you up with both his hands, slouch in his seat and thrust his hips urgently until you were squirting all over him. 

“Shit, Baby!!!” You speak through clenched teeth while Erik’s hands jiggle your cheeks as you cum on him, “Uhhh! Uhhhhh! uhhhhhh!!!” your strangled moans pierced his ears. You reach your hand out to brace the driver’s side window as your body trembles. 

______

Erik’s penthouse has a stunning view of the sprawling city. He was on the 30th floor. That elevator ride was torture. Erik didn’t touch you once while both of you rode the elevator. Your legs quivered and you tried to calm your shaky breaths but his intoxicating smell and the way his sharp onyx eyes would stare across at you made you want to beg for attention. You knew he was doing this on purpose because you hopped up on his dick and practically hit a split. He was such a tease. As good as Erik looked he expected you to wait for the dick? Even when it was out and solid in your face? As soon as you both exit the elevator your arms reach out for him to grab you up and kiss you. Erik caved when he saw you pouting so he sucked on your bottom lip before taking full advantage of your entire mouth with his thick wiggling tongue. His hands squeezed and mashed your breasts together while his thumbs softly plucked your nipples through your tracksuit hoodie. 

“Nipples so hard, daaammnn” He wrapped his lips around yours again.

They were painfully hard. Before Erik could even open his door he unzipped your tracksuit jacket, pulled the left cup of your bra down, and released your whole breast. His lips slurped on your nipple. You reach your hand around to cradle the back of his neck while you arch into his mouth. Running your fingers through Erik’s dreads caused him to groan softly and wrinkle the fabric of your tracksuit jacket with his clenched fists. You enjoyed watching his plump lips draw your nipple into his mouth. Erik has his eyes closed and one of his hands coming up to pull down the other cup to your bra so he could taste that nipple too. 

“I just know this shit feels good as fuck the way you grabbing for my dick,” He flicked your nipple with his tongue, “Uh-huh, I’m still nice and heavy for you, Baby Girl, see these nuts,” Erik dragged your hand down to make you wrap your fingers around his balls, “Not only does my shit get rock hard, imma shoot like a fucking rocket launcher in that pussy with all this cum in my balls fucking around with you.” 

“Umph, Daddy fill this pussy up-”

“Oh, I’m hitting that pussy without question, ain’t no pulling out either.”

“Fuck yeah, Daddy-”

“Hitting pussy deep does things to me,” Erik chuckles, “See, I needed you from the start. I needed a little baby that’s with all the smoke. I don’t fuck around, Y/N.”

“Please me, Daddy,” You whisper, “fill my pussy up.”

“I’m not stopping when I’m in these guts. Bust it wide open like you never felt before.”

You shudder. Erik finally takes his keys from his pants to open the doors. Once fully opened, luxury awaited you ahead. Breathtaking and definitely out of your price range. You imagined Erik fucking you against one of his ceiling to floor windows with the risk of being seen. As you looked around his living room, Erik came up behind you to take off your tracksuit jacket and bra. 

“You want something to drink? He asked softly while sprinkling kisses along your shoulder. 

“No,” You tell him with a shake of your head. You were too busy whimpering from his mouth sucking on your skin while his hands came up and around to squeeze your breasts and play with your nipples. 

“Something to eat?” His tongue trailed up the side of your neck before sucking on your earlobe.

“Some dick?” You whisper. 

“The only food you getting outta this dick is all this nut in your belly when I bust all up in you.”

You were convinced enough and determined to come out of the rest of your clothes. That one dick down in the car was just a little taste of what Erik could do. You needed Erik to consume you. Invade your pussy with a force so you can feel everything. Imprison your body so you can obey his every command. You’d be submissive for Erik with the K. Velour pants and panties down and around your ankles, Erik is on his knees behind you kissing and tonguing your ass. Loose-jointed, you bend forward and grab your ankles to give him better access to your wet pussy from the back. Erik was having a moment with your pussy when he stared at it from that position. Phat lips puckered and ready to be nibbled and sucked on. Clit erect and dripping with your juices. He began eating it like it’s the most important meal of the day. He enjoyed making your pussy drip in his mouth each time he ate it up. Erik stands up with a deep sigh and a face covered in your wetness with his finger in your pussy now, twirling it around and sinking it in. His other hand would slap your ass with little force just to watch it bounce. You twerk your cheeks to give him something else to focus on and that’s when you hear him grunt and mumble your name. He was loving your thick ass. 

“Thick. Phat. Pussy,” Erik slips his finger out to suck on, “Tryna get fucked like this?”

“Yesss, mmm-”

“Shit, I’m fucking and sucking this pussy like this. The best position to suck pussy, ask for this dick like a good bitch.”

“Ummph, Daddy, Please-” The moaning and whimpering you were doing were driving him crazy.

“I’m tryna’ pound some pussy tonight so I’m gon’ need you to tell me what you want.” He spoke with a harsh tone.

“Fill me up, Daddy-”

“Forever telling Daddy to fill it up,” Erik whacked your ass making it sting, “Talk to Daddy. I’m tryna dig it out real proper. C’ mon, ma, I’m listening to that body and she tells me what she needs but I need you to open that mouth and beg me if you want it deep in that pussy.”

“Oh, Daddy. Fuck my tight pussy baby. Cum in me Daddy. I wanna feel your cum leak from my pussy.”

“Yeah, that’s how you beg for this Daddy dick. Get on the couch and point that ass in the air.”

You walk over to the couch and arched over it with your face smashed into the couch cushions. Erik came up behind you to position you better before undressing himself. Turning your head, you could see Erik’s reflection in the glass of one of his ceiling to floor windows. That dynamic body and whopping pipe all yours to play with. Erik’s large masculine hands smoothed over your ass and up your spine.

“Girl, this beautiful ass. You love being on your stomach don’t you?”

“Ahhh, yes-” 

“That’s right,” Erik smacked your pussy with the weight of his dick, “lay on your stomach and give me that fucking pussy.”

“Right there Daddy,” You hold your pussy lips open while rubbing your engorged clit, “Fuck me, baby, Ahhh!”

Erik’s dick spread you open and almost made you explode right then and there. He was already ruining your ass and this was just the second fuck. 

“Right there, Daddy! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-” Erik had you making all types of noises. 

“That motherfucking ARCH,” Erik started grinding in your pussy and you could feel it in your soul. Erik held fast to the back of the couch above your head and plunged his stiff, throbbing, anxiously awaiting dick inside you. You were afraid to move; the sensation was so euphoric you were sure if he moved even an inch, it would be over long before it started. That didn’t even include the tolerance of pain you endured from the intense pounding. This nut-busting position had you spasming and gyrating rhythmically, grinding Erik deeper inside your pussy. Even laying there under Erik with your ass arched over the couch and his dick blowing your back out you couldn’t control the urge to feel his dick up to the hilt of your pussy. You look back at him through your braids, gazing into his dark and sexy eyes and increased the speed at which you circled his dick with your pussy. 

“Keep that arch,” Erik pressed down in the middle of your back, “I don’t care how hard I’m hitting this pussy keep that fucking back arched.”

“Daddy, FUCK-” This position turned Erik into a monster. 

“You got Daddy’s big dick all in you, girl. Got my balls slapping this juicy pussy.”

“Oh, Erik, baby, fuck me hard, baby,” You sobbed while Erik’s powerfully built hips smashed and banged into your ass causing it to rebound. “Fuck me, FUCK MEEEEE.” You beg through clenched teeth. Erik’s grimace revealed that he felt good to the core. He reached under you to rub your clit.

“Fuck me, Daddy,” You cried, backing your twat into his meat while looking back at him through the curtain of braids in your hair. Your elbows gave out and now you were going down further into the couch on your chest with an even deeper arch in your back. Erik was killing you. You knew you fucked up changing positions when you could feel that thing in your heart. 

“I’m beating this phat pussy! Love me a phat puss...can’t have it no other way,” Two aggressive blows to your ass had you moaning like a bitch in heat being split in half. 

“Make you cum on this dick since you had me waiting on this wet pussy for a year.” With spite, Erik beat that ass real good before grabbing hold of your hips to drag that cum out of you. The anger in his gravelly voice was your downfall. Your thighs shook and Erik’s hands went up squeeze your ass cheeks as you squirt all over his fancy couch. Your pussy twitched when his dick slipped out. You needed a moment. That body still arched. 

                                                                                                                    “Umphhh, Daddy, oh my God,” Erik was eating your pussy from the back while stroking his dick. You look at him with a struggle even when his eyes were intent on yours. Staring at you while slurping you’re pussy up with his hand wrapped around that thick dick. 

“Here, Daddy,” You rub your hand along your spread open pussy, “I wanna watch you eat my pussy, Baby.” 

“I will suck and lick the fuck outta’ that pussy you ain’t even gotta ask, ma,” Erik flipped your body over and pulled your legs over his shoulders. His mouth kissed your clit making it good and wet. Your pussy was like a leaky faucet every time he put his lips, tongue, and fingers in your pussy. Erik could put you to sleep with the way his mouth clung to your pussy. He was teasing the hell out of your knob and making it jump against his tongue. 

“Yes, Daddy! You’re a good Daddy, Eat me, eat me!”

“I gotchu, let me know if it’s too much,” His thick raspy voice teased you before his tongue pointed and hooked right under the hood of your clit to flick it. Rock-a-bye baby for sure because your eyes closed and your mouth dropped open and damn near dangled each time he licked with that violent tongue and slurped up your clit. 

Coming up for air, Erik thumbed your clit, “I’m doing this on the regular, I need it in my face. Nothing like playing with a phat puss-”

“Oooooo, oh, yeah, baby-”

“Who do you belong to?” Erik struck your inner thigh, “Answer me...who do you belong to, Y/N?”

“Mmmm, you, Daddy-” You gasp when your fresh juices coat Erik’s tongue as he sucked your bulging clit. He was going to make you squirt immediately. You really wanted to apologize at first for ruining his couch like this but it was his own damn fault. 

“Oh, This is what I’m talking about,” He growled. Erik picked you up from the couch and laid you flat on his Icelandia White Hand-Knotted Rug. The crisp white contrasted beautifully with your bronze skin. 

“I wanna pin your legs down and make you take all this long dick, no pulling out.” 

You nibble your bottom lip while watching Erik position his athletic and robust body between your shaky thighs. The muscles in his body flexed as he brought your nimble legs up and back so your knees touched the carpet. He locked your ankles in his hands before his dick pressed inside to fuck you long, with hard strokes. You could hear your pussy lips spread each time he went in and out. His lips claimed yours again so he could feel the vibration of your moans in his mouth. He was up on his fists while his hips swiveled and stroked inside of you. Erik caused you to look around the room like you were on a different planet because you weren’t sure at that point if it’s your pussy he fucking so good.

Erik grabs your jaw to make you look at him, “I want you to feel every inch of this curve filling up ya’ walls while I deep stroke ya’ guts.” Your eyes were closing on him each time he twisted his dick deeper in your hole.

“Imma have you cumming over and over and over again on my dick,” Erik looked down to watch your pussy throb around him, “Girl, you clenching it so hard, I’m pulling ya lips while I fuck it up.”

“Umph,” Your eyes roll back as tears stream down your face. He held his dick deep on purpose. He wanted you to feel every inch of him to remind you that this is what you’ll be getting any time. 

Erik shook his head. He watched your sexy ass for a whole year and knew you were going to be a good fuck. 

“You can’t even form words cus’ it feels so damn good,” Erik gently kissed your throat, “You can’t even look me in my eyes cus’ every time you try,” Erik pulled all the way out to his fat tip then slammed right back in, “I start hitting-that-spot-HARD,” Erik stuck his tongue in your mouth. Your tongues swirled but the second he hit your G-spot you let out a sharp moan and push at his chest. Erik’s forehead crashed against yours. You reach up weakly to grab his face with both of your hands. Sweat clung to every crevice of your bodies. 

Onyx met Chestnut.

You felt his body overheat and spasm. His large arms cradle you as his hips weakly pumped onto yours. Erik’s dreads tickled your cheek and the air from his nose made the hair along your neck stand up. He still delivered strong strokes even at a slow pace. Daddy better nut in your pussy if he keeps fucking you like this. The shit was so good both of your mouths stayed open. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world. 

“That’s that, Daddy, you hitting that spot, stroke it-”

“MMMM DAYUMMMMM,” Erik uttered in a low gruff tone. He sat up onto his hands to stare you in the eyes while his dick encircled your tight puss before pulsating and rippling inside of you, releasing his thick cum deep inside of you. So deep with the way his jacked hips flexed. You let out another sharp moan with a stupefied expression on your face. Erik looked you up and down with a crease of his brow before slipping his length out slowly. You moan weakly with a pout of your lips. You fucked up as soon as your eyes drop down to stare at Erik’s thick veiny erection dripping with his cum and yours. 

He gave you that look that said he would give you all of the pleasure you desire and deserve when you’re with him.

____________________

7:15 AM

Your eyes try and focus around you but the wide ceiling to floor mirrors allowing the morning sun to enter blinded you. You pull the covers over your head, seeing nothing but white around you like you escaped to heaven under those warm sheets. Your naked body curled up and your eyes fight to stay open but the thread count in these sheets cuddled you perfectly. Just when you wanted sleep to overcome you again, Someone settled in the bed next to you, pulling the covers back from your eyes. You whimper, covering your face before peeking between your fingers to look up into a sexy face with a dazzling smile and tousled dreads.

“Morning, Big Head,” Erik laughed and you couldn’t help but smile even though you hated when he talked about your head shape. 

Rubbing your heavy eyes, you blink up at him, “Shut up, Stevens.”

“You don’t wanna hear my voice now,” Erik sneaks his hand under the covers to tickle your foot, “HUH?!”

“No! No! I do! Stop itttt,” You jerk your foot away and sit up to hide them. He bit down on his bottom lip with a smile showing his deep dimples. Erik was shirtless, herculean body looking mouth-watering on that Tuesday morning. You nibble on your lip as your eyes drag over his frame. If only you didn’t have to go to work. Luckily, Erik lived closer to the company. If he keeps looking at you the way he currently was with those intense eyes you just might call out. 

“Mm,” Erik reaches out to grab your chin before giving you a passionate good morning kiss with his tongue down your throat. Erik pulled your naked body up and into his lap. The feeling of his warm skin against yours in the morning was exactly what you wanted to look forward to with him.

“I don’t wanna go to work now,” You kiss his neck, “I wanna stay with you, in this bed, all morning.”

“That sounds,” He lets out a deep sigh as your tongue trailed down his Adam's apple, “So damn good, but I gotta meet with Bio-Med Tech this afternoon-FUCK, Y/N,” Erik grabs your braids to stop you, “Calm down, kitty kat.”

“Daddy,” You take your teeth to pull on his bottom lip, “Please…”

“Oh, my God,” He chuckles before grabbing your neck lightly, “Stop it, girl. I got you after work, okay? I promise,” He pecked your lips softly, “I got you....”

You roll your eyes but the kisses he gave to your forehead caused you to blush. How could you be mad at him?

“I got breakfast for you in the kitchen, and some hibiscus tea.” 

“You remembered that’s my favorite tea!” 

“I pay attention,” Erik kissed your hair, “Get cleaned up, baby. I’ll see you in the kitchen.”

It was torture watching him leave that room in just his briefs. Groaning, you get up from the comfy bed and head to the bathroom to shower.  After your long steaming shower that helped with your tense muscles, you rub down with some of Erik’s shea butter whip before walking butt naked back to his room. You grab your faux fur tote from Erik’s closet to pull out today’s attire. Light grey turtleneck dress that was form-fitting with a pair of Fendi boots in black satin. You apply oil to your scalp and spray down with Chanel No.5. Diamond studs, Fendi clutch in hand, You walk out of Erik’s room and towards the kitchen. Holding a mug of coffee in his hand taking careful sips while staring at his phone gave you a chance to admire him. Light brown tailored suit with Salvatore Ferragamo eyeglasses in rose gold over his eyes, dreads combed to the side, onyx earrings in his ears that matched the color of his eyes. Your legs felt like jello.

“Is that bagel for me?” You spoke sweetly while pointing to a half bit bagel on a napkin.

“Nah,” Erik points to your plate filled with scrambled eggs, turkey sausage, and a large buttery croissant, “That’s you.”

You really just wanted to eat him.

“Last night was…” You place some of your braids behind your ear while gripping the edge of the kitchen island. 

Erik looked you up and down, bringing that coffee mug closer to his lips, “Was?”

“You raise both of your brows, “Um, I think you know what I’m trying to say,” you tease.

“Nah, talk to me.” He picks up his bagel to take a large bite. Erik’s tongue swipes the corner of his mouth to catch the crumbs.

“You fucked me so well-”

“I told you, didn’t I?” He swallowed his food, “Didn’t I tell you that I was gonna take care of that thing and fix that stiff back?” He raises a brow while waiting for your response. 

“See,” You walk over towards him, “You can’t talk to me like that and think I won’t drop to my knees right now and suck your dick.”

Erik smiles at you while darkness clouded his eyes. He chuckled before taking his finger to scrape some cream cheese from his bagel. Erik brings his finger to your mouth, dragging it along your lower lip, “Suck on Daddy Dick?”

“Yessss,” You moan, “Pleaseeee.”

“Ma,” Erik slips his finger in your mouth and watches you suck on it, “You can suck on this long dick later, aight?”

Your pussy was twitching. Clit jumping in your panties. 

He was playing with you.

Working you up to a horny mess.

“You coppin’ an attitude?” Erik’s eyes squinted down at you.

“No,” You don’t quite meet his eyes.

“Keep it that way unless you want me to fix you.”

Your jaw went tight.

“Now go eat,” Erik finished off his bagel before palming your ass hard, walking away. 

______________

“Good morning,” Regina gave you a tired smile. She went back to focusing on her phone. Everyone was rather sluggish today except for you of course. Erik gave you a lot of energy. A body fueled and ready for round two, three, four, and five.

“No rest?” You ask with a chipper tone.

“Not much, my show came on last night,” Regina glanced up at you, “What is in your morning tea? You’re acting really jolly.”

“Just hibiscus and honey,” You grin, “Tasty.”

“Um, Y/N? Is there something that you aren’t telling me? Something juicy and exciting to help me get through this morning?”

“You cross your leg over the other while typing in your login information to your desktop, “Just know that I slept good knowing that I’m taken care of.”

“Y/N,” Regina’s eyes grew wide before she gasped, “No you didn’t-”

“Sis, I did that,” You giggle softly at Regina’s reaction. This girl was ready to jump out of her seat and do her famous two-step with her tongue poked out. You clutch your forehead and quietly laugh to yourself. 

“BITCH,” Regina spoke quietly, “Tell me everything.”

“Later,” You kiss your teeth when Regina pouted, “Too many virgin ears around.”

“Girl, please,” Regina rolls her eyes, “Calvin was just talking about how he got fucked in the butt over the weekend.”

You grimace.

Erik rode the elevator with you but didn’t get off on the fifth floor. Instead, he got off on the 3rd floor; Bio-Tech Department. That’s where Erik worked before he decided to move to the fifth floor to work as an Environmental Engineer. He said the people he worked with were envious of his achievements and it slowly became a competition every time he came to work. Erik was responsible for the design and equipment of devices such as artificial internal organs and machines for diagnosing medical problems. He even won a few NAACP awards for his medical research and technological skills. Work bae wouldn’t be in his office for another few hours at least. Now, you really had to suck it up and work even though Regina did make the experience fun. 

Slowly but surely, 11:07 AM rolled around and you just got finished filing in the database. It took forever only because you allowed it to pile up. Cracking your knuckles, you grab your water bottle, taking a long sip because your throat was dry. Regina was too busy singing to herself and typing away in her email.

“How many times are you going to stare at his office?” Regina didn’t even have to look at you to know that that’s exactly what you’re currently doing.

Not too long it seems.

“Erik, Good morning, friend,” Regina’s eyes danced with humor, “Did BioTech piss you off?”

“They want me back on that floor, not gonna happen,” Erik’s eyes landed on you before scanning your body, “What’s up? Nice dress,” He licked his lips.

“T-thanks,” You take in a deep breath while giving him a small smile. The little stare down between you both felt like it lasted for hours but it was only five seconds. 

“Time to work, lunch later, Y/N?”

“Definitely,” You blush.

“Cool,” Erik places his hand on your shoulder before squeezing it. You fight the urge to bring your hand up to caress his. His hand slowly leaves your shoulder before his fingertips discreetly tickle your neck. You shivered. 

“I see you took my advice,” Regine smiled wickedly.

12:20 PM.

Absolutely bored and tired of getting up to grab water, you pull out a book to read, You Can’t Touch My Hair by Phoebe Robinson. You pick up a pineapple from your container of fruit that you purchased from the food court, bringing it to your mouth. In the middle of chewing, an IM comes through on your desktop computer. 

Erik.

-Looking real yummy today. 

-Thank you, Daddy.

-What do you want for lunch?

-Bend me up like a pretzel and fuck me good.

-Now you got me wanting to check in with that pussy to see if she straight. 

-How is that phat wet puss doing?

You glance right and then left before placing your book face down and leaning your chair in closer to your desk. You open your legs, ankles wobbling with need, taking your hand to rub the crotch of your panties. Definitely drenched. 

-Super wet, Daddy. 

-Then I gotta get in them guts. Put that puss to good use. You feel me?

-Please me pleaseeee babyyyyy.

You shake with need in your seat. That underwear was wedged tightly around your ass while the crotch of your panties molded around your wet pussy practically wrinkling the thin fabric. 

-Last night I was looking down like, damn...she don’t know where she at right now. Dick had you dazed.

That’s how good he was fucking you.

-Because you were in there so deep. I couldn't believe it.

-You woke me all the way up this morning.

You could feel your phone vibrate against the desk. Picking it up, you see a message from Erik. An image attachment. Swallowing spit, you open your phone, pulling up your text messages and gasped lightly to the sight of Erik’s dick curved in his light brown slacks. 

Ping Ping

-Just wanna make my baby girl pussy feel good.

You look towards the ceiling. That wasn’t the best because if you looked at him you would risk it all. Your job. His job. All of it. 

-I need that mouth again. You got some serious talent.

-Daddy, stop it!

You really wanted to get up, walk to that bathroom, pull your dress up, arch over the sink, pull the crotch of your soiled panties to the side, finger-fuck that wet pussy, and take a picture of your sloppy mess. 

-Then you can let Daddy devour that sweet little pussy.

-Imma lick that shit up.

-Wow, girl.

You had enough. Ignoring Erik’s scorching messages you lift from your seat to go to the bathroom. Fuck that, you needed to play all in your pussy. Lock that bathroom stall and go to town on that juice box. Mistakenly, you lock eyes with Erik. He sat back in his chair, swiveling from side to side with a vacant expression on his face. But those eyes...those eyes said it all.

He was suffering as well.

Ping Ping.

Your phone wasn’t safe from him either.

Erik- Where are you going, girl? 

@tgigoldie @soufcakmistress @chefjessypooh @chaneajoyyy @pananegra @theblulife @becincere @blaqwidow91 @fish-outta-watah @eyeknowmywrites @crowngold @njadakillthiscookie @blktinkerbell @luvanxi @sheisexcellent1 @chocolatedippedinhoney @brandithecrystalgem @blowmymbackout @dababydababydababydababy @soulfulbeauty19 @btitannaaa @sunkissedebony97 @youngblackndgifted​ @harleycativy @rbhp @thee-germanpeach @thadelightfulone @bugngiz @palmstreesallday @skylahb @bakaris-shorty @nizzle-mo @truglori @queenflaws @ljstraightnochaser @nickidub718 @vikkidc @thehomierobbstark @rent-emspoons @abluesforlyssa @fd-writes @chasingsunlight @abeautifulmindexposed @sickaddiktions @munteanhore @xo-goldengirl @tiava143 @33kiara @honeytoffee @goddessofthundathighs @hearteyes-for-killmonger @asiasblackworld727 @momobaby227 @informalmelancholy @soulshinechronicles 

[siremasterlawrence]

A Forest Of Whim’s

Chapter 1 -

Kent Michael Wallace former professor to president of my college campus, he is way too drunk as a skunk to notice his idiotic he looks, and continues to skip down to the distant forest.

The forest slowly becomes more clearer to the human eye, the area widens getting even bigger by the minute as he open up his soul, and sound he mindlessly stands on the road path that leads to his own demise.

They eyes have it locked on like a heat ray seeking missile ahead of him nothing in his life matters. A hand pushes him forward to pursue the sound of a voice, and a voice  so familiar and yet foreign at the same time.

“What a poor pathetic fool you are Kent Michael Wallace? Do you not know who am I? What I am capable of?” The voice calls out to him bouncing all over the area vibrating around his ears they shake crazy with fear.

Kent is lost for words flowing in, out and in between areas of time folding in to this existence. Sound gets louder pumping up  beating like a heart piercing through his ears, and I watch him through his one minds eyes.

“The time has come motherfucker enter the land where sun never settle a place of unknown time.” The voice commands him to surrender his soul to the night where no man returns. Kent can’t help himself any more allowing his feet to move.

Kent Michael Wallace is actually no longer in control of all of his mental and bodily faculties. His feet motionless slowly start to move sluggishly pacing ever forward in to the light unsure of what he is walking in to.

“What the hell is this place anyway? I am really not sure what you expect of me, but I am totally game for this to be something new.” Kent answers continue to stroll in to the light shining down from the sky in to the forest.

His feet pick up dashing down the path of the forest taken in the light he is brush away in to it. Letting himself wash in the brightness of my greatness changing him forever.

——————————————————————

“Welcome! Welcome to everything in life that you never thought you needed from me, I will guide you for the rest of your lifethrough the field of the wilderness, and in to my heart.” He stops just a few feet from me.

He drops to knees holding my waist in his hands he stares in to my eyes lovingly beg me. My eyes glowing brightly consuming my face in a bright green shadowy glow over my face.

“Kent Michael Wallace listen to my voice in depth of the winds, passing by you in big swift gush, and calling you to obey me.” I sweetly demand him to stand in my mighty presence of all this.

He rises from the floor in a glorious battle of the loss his will sweeping away in a moment boxing glory. Body blowing in the face of self destruction taming him to focus only on me.

“I will do whatever you say my lord Master Sire King Lawrence, I can’t stop focusing on the beauty of those deep dark black eyes,  give you all my heart, and soul in this existence.” He smartly states.

“I love you with all my heart, body, mind, soul, and life with everything that I have Sire Master Lawrence. Let me kiss, love, worship and take care of you through absolute submission.” Kent is compelledto fall for me.

“Kent welcome to the land that I began to conquer centuries ago, the world that has my change through the centuries, but is never really changing at all. My enchanted forest of whims home of me.” I call him over.

“You are now my truly enchanted magical forest nymph who prays, plays and obeys only what I throw out. I create a flash of light simply with my eyes, words and my actions.” I relate to him.

I snap my fingers creating a magical flute forming in the shape of wooden material it is constructed before my eyes. I play my flute. The sound raises above our heads floating through the room wiping away all his resistance.

—————————————————————-

The forest is growing slowly overtaking every inch of the state we are living in he can no longer just be. I begin to play the flute as it lands in my palm in display of golden hue.

The power outstretches from my palm to my entire hand covering my arms as it spreads. If touches my spine interacting with every never in my body to say we are one. My lips open widen in to a grin so big I jump.

My body instinctively gives me the most wonderful pleasure of hearing the tune in my mind, I play the tune exactly as I hear it activating a trigger. Automatically, Kent’s arm begins to flail all up in my face.

His legs join tapping at a slow pace then in  moving rhythm, his body can’t help control itself, and soon he is dancing like nobody’s business. His clothes fade away leaving him in only his underwear, that vanishes as well my eyes have lost their imagination

A a few group of levels lift off the ground in a foul swoop surrounding him, spinning out of control I loose my view of him, and landing selectively on his body they turn in to cloth transforming into to Ancient Greek tunic.

“You know how the saying goes time to pay the piper, relax yourself we are here for all eternity, and the world will be damn if I don’t get my way.” I pat how should with little regard for anything else I begin to dance.

The flute start to acknowledge my comfort changing to a new tune, I begin to play a assortment of my favorite songs, and his moves become less fluid more sexy. His ass is jiggling, shaking and moving in front of me.

“My body is hot for you Saytr put that flute to use Sire, make me like nobody is here to watch us, and shove me in to the unknown down to the deep.” He begs letting his ass press on my cock hitting highs of ecstasy.

It is quite a show one that will never leave my mind and the succession of lows rife with untapped potential in my sexy lower regions.

I knew this is the right choice soon I will bring down the whole city only to swallow them in to my world.

The end.

A story from my Patreon page I posted last week, and I will be posting three stories in the next few weeks.

https://www.patreon.com/MasterLawrence86

[redhoodieone]

Star-Crossed Universe

A/N: Yes!!! I’M BACK!!! This project has been on the back burner for so long and its finally time to upload it on here. I’m not sure what you all will think but hey...it’s fan fiction and everything and anything goes.

Warnings: Language, Humor (bad and good jokes), Sexual Conversations, and an ultimate Team-Up.

Plot: When Y/N is thrown into a mission way out of her league, she, and magician best friend Zatanna must stop strong demonic forces from entering earth through an unknown portal that John Constantine may have opened. With the assistance from the Dark Knight himself, a mysterious 1967 black Impala arrives in Gotham just when things start to go to hell. But who called the Winchesters? Why is there a clairvoyant bond between Y/N and Dean Winchester? And why does Castiel, an angel of the Lord, believe John Constantine isn’t who he says he is? And will Dean wear the Batsuit?

Move over Scooby-Natural because it’s Batman’s turn! The Winchesters join Batman and Y/N (You!) in taking down a villain who isn’t an everyday monster for Supernatural!

Please enjoy and comment! If you want a Part 2, please let me know.

  Part 1

 I don’t remember a time where tears felt like my own. Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m standing on the ledge when Gotham is down pouring like it always does at night. It shouldn’t be a surprise, really. Gotham is the only city in the US of A that is dark, depressing, manic, and suicidal.

 Even Superman refuses to stay here for more than a day.

 I’m not any better. The only reason why I’m literally dangling my feet over the edge is because I’m numb.

 Numb to feelings.

Numb to pain.

Numb to life.

 Bottom line is breakups fucking suck period. Especially if your ex-boyfriend is Bruce Wayne.

 And Batman.

 I don’t know why I put myself through this. The bitter pain of having to work with someone you love but to know they’ll never love you as much. Maybe this is why I should have never worked with Bruce.

 Dick left first and has successfully made a name for himself, Nightwing, in Bludhaven.

 Jason comes and goes throughout the months and has his own team of misfits who do good but cause chaos as well.

 Even Tim and Damian are working together. They’re training and leading the Titans. The last I heard from them is that they’re doing just fine.

 Except me.

 Who am I kidding? I can’t compare myself to Bruce’s kids even though I’m closer to Dick’s age than Bruce’s.

 Maybe that’s why it didn’t work out between us. Bruce is almost my father’s age, late forties early fifties. And he’s still sexy as fuck; stronger than ever.

 And here I am in my early thirties, expecting more than just a wordless promise of something more than casual sex and the uncertainty of the future.

 After three months ago, I’m trying desperately hard to not care anymore. The only constant thing in my life is being Night Bat, and I’ll die with only that part of me.

 Death.

 The one place where everything and nothing hurts anymore.

 “Y/N.”

 My head jerks to the right side where Zatanna is standing. With her hands on her hips, I can see her blue eyes blinking sadness and guilt. For a beautiful woman like Z, her broken expression is almost tragic enough to make me cry like her.

 If my own tears were my own. Maybe my tears are Gotham’s.

 “It’s Etrigan. He’s...” Zatanna chokes on her words. She literally holds her neck and tries to stop sobbing. “He’s dead.”

 I can feel my eyebrows raise as confusion and disbelief crash over me.

 “Dead?” I repeat. I can’t even believe that word is coming from my mouth. Etrigan is tough. Etrigan is a shithead. Etrigan cannot be dead. “How?”

 Zatanna shrugs her shoulders as her lips quiver. Seeing her broken up makes me feel like an asshole for not comforting her. So, I stand up and go over to her. Taking her by surprise, I hug her tightly.

 She’s my best friend. My sister. My partner in crime whenever we get into bad shit. (Sometimes...maybe).

 After Zatanna hugs me, she takes a step back and wipes her tears with her gloved hand.

 “He-he was stabbed. I... I don’t know by what but he bled and he was never one to really bleed, you know? I checked everything out and he’s dead. He’s really gone. But it was...a very fucking strange thing. Really,” Zatanna rambles on anxiously. Whenever she cusses, I know she’s angry and stressed out. “Whatever killed him, it’s not from around here. What I sensed near him, it’s not human. It’s not magical. It’s not even Kryptonian or extraterrestrial.”

 I swallow hard. “What do you think it is then?”

 “Demonic.”

_________________________________________________

 “Have you contacted John?” I ask. My voice is rough and breathless. I’m busy shoving as much weapons as I can in my backpack, along with a few clothes and a book from Alfred about demonology. He said it was a gift from Constantine himself.

 I stare down at my long, silver triple-edged dagger that I found on one of my solo missions in Kansas when Bruce was fighting

 “Not in... six months.”

 The guilt in her voice makes me turn to glance at her. “Seriously?”

 I glance down at my black pants and boots to make sure I’m appropriately and comfortably dressed for tonight. I slip on a red and black checkered flannel over my form fitting black tank top.  After rolling up the sleeves to my elbows, I put on my black leather jacket and turn to face Zatanna.

 “What, am I supposed to keep in touch with my ex-boyfriend? I thought ex-boyfriends were meant to stay ex-boyfriends, not friends. And besides, you keep in touch with Bruce,” Zatanna responds smugly.

 “He’s...a co-worker...that’s-thats different.”

 “Bullshit,” Z laughs.

 I roll my eyes. “Whatever. I need a drink before we start...” I say, waving my hand up dramatically. “Whatever this is. I think a stop at Lucky’s is what we need.”

 “A trip to the bar is what YOU need,” Zatanna replies.

 She follows me out of my apartment until we stop in the parking lot where my motorcycle is parked. I don’t see her standing behind me with her arms crossed and eyebrow raised, as I take a seat on my bike and set myself up to ride.

 “What?” I ask, genuinely confused.

 “I could just you know...poof is there.”

 “Yeah, you could like you always do, but I need to ride my baby right now. It’s like, therapy for the low self-esteem, loner, rebels,” I say.

 To my surprise, Zatanna nods her head and gives me a small smile. I’m grateful she understands how much riding my motorcycle makes me happy. Makes me breathe. Makes me feel alive.

 “I’ll see you there, Y/N/N.”

 “See ya, Z.”

 And with that, Zatanna poofs for real. Her magic still surprises me. Whenever I see her perform her spells and tricks, I feel like I’m reliving magic shows I saw as a kid that I used to believe were real and powerful.

 But to know what Zatanna does is real is still unbelievable sometimes.

 And to think we have been best friends for five years now...amazing how time flies by I’m between laughs and heartbreaks.

 Revving my bike, I waste no time speeding out of the parking garage and into the streets of Gotham. The rain and wind in my hair sends me chills, as the lights and buildings pass me by so fast that I feel like everything I see is a blur; almost like in a dream-like state.

 Lucky’s is just a small country rustic bar outside of Gotham. City people usually don’t go there as the place is purely meant for drifters and stranded loners. I happen to love the bar. If I’m ever feeling down or angry, I always drop by to get drunk or frisky if I’m ever in the mood. Bruce was always disappointed in me for that. He always used to say I’m better than that and I shouldn’t put myself down.

 I sometimes think he’d want to say I’m easy, but Bruce is just so complicated sometimes. He can either be a total asshole or be the gentle sweetheart he is. You never know which side you’d see sometimes.

 Almost like Two-Face.

 Swerving into the mud to park alongside trucks and other bikes, I climb off my motorcycle and glance around the dirt lot. I recognize a few vehicles parked already. A new black Escalade parked closer to the bar is different and catches my attention rather quickly.  

 I pull my hair back into a ponytail and start my way over to the expensive ass vehicle when suddenly a black car speeds right pass me and parks right next to my bike, sending mud flying to my pants and on my bike! Rage suddenly takes over me. I can feel my blood boil and my jaw clench as several curse words come to mind. I twist around and instead make my way to that motherfucker’s car.

 A black 1967 Impala? What a fucking joke.

 As if this motherfucker owns this American classic. This self-righteous, prick probably stole it from some old fool or maybe his own old man.

 I’m ready to break this douchebag’s face. Knock all his teeth out and break his cock into two…maybe three pieces.

 I finally reach the driver’s door and quickly open it; door swinging back. This must piss off the man a lot, but I don’t care right now.

“Look, you motherfucker! You think you can just drive like a bat out of hell and get fucking mud on MY baby?!  Get out of this fucking car so I can break you apart with my bare hands!” I yell angrily and loudly.

The man climbs out of his car, but my anger suddenly vanishes. What the hell?

Holy fucking shit…this man is…hot.

Standing at 6’1, this man is almost intimidating. With short brown hair, tan skin, hypnotizing green eyes, and freckles splattered over his nose and cheeks, he’s fucking adorable…and sexy. I can’t help but stare up at him.

He smirks down at me. Underneath his dark jacket, he’s wearing a flannel shirt and black Henley, where I can already see his strong chest, muscled arms, and soft tummy.

“Looks like sweetheart likes what she sees, Sammy. I’d say we made the right choice for coming out to Gotham,” the man speaks smugly. His voice is deep and husky, more addicting than any liquor inside the bar.

Another man comes over to us from around from the car. This man, I’m assuming his Sammy, is FUCKING TALLER than the hot one in front of me!

Sammy chuckles lightly at me. Pushing his longer brown hair from his face, he quickly reaches out to shake my hand.

“Hi, I’m Sam Winchester and this is my brother, Dean.”

The second those words leave his mouth; we hear someone quickly approaching us. Zatanna. And from the looks of theirs, they’re shocked and surprised to see my friend in her usual, sexy magician number.

Zatanna smiles, nonetheless. “Well, if it isn’t the Winchesters. We’ve been expecting you.”

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 18

lets goooo

I love the ‘no guns no swords no briefcases’ sign sm

NEVER over the ‘my first blaster(tm): big grip for little hands’ fucking iconic

‘get the hell out of my bar’ swerve lmao ily

so now we continue on with the remain in light arc, this issue subtitled ‘house of ambus,’ which is a dopeass name and also promises some ambus lore, which is exciting

first aid holding his gun sideways like a gangsta lmao I canttt

forgot there's literally a guy named dipstick LMAOOOOO that's funny on so many levels like...it sounds like dipshit, and also a urine dipstick is a urine test used to detect various stuff so that's the first thing I think of...what a name

‘put two and two together and make it a fist’ skids ily sm

pharma is in full-on dr thot mode over here, oh boy

lockdown looks like such a nerd on his edgy decepticon hoverboard

the fact that cyclonus immediately goes along w/whirls suggestion to disobey rodimus and attack the enemy....both of them are icons

OOOH ALL THE TITANS...that's such a good panel 

ok but I cant get over how lowkey funny it is that there's this battle going on rn where most of the participants can turn into various vehicles, but they're all riding around on dorky air scooters instead. this series, man

well, at least chromedome transformed

I fucking love that rodimus is always doing this like, ridiculous 80s action movie nonsense, I feel like that's perfect considering his g1 debut was in a ridiculous 80s action movie

poor tg just found out he’s gonna die in like 3 days and then rodimus immediately is like ‘wanna make that today?’ and does some crazy shit while tg clings to him like a terrified baby

rodimus mid-car transformation is fucking wild lmao

and now we finally get to see a bit more of what’s going on with our framing device flash-forward - it’s not just rodimus, everyone’s there! except ratchet...also, they’re in jail. woohoo!

and then there’s magnus, looking completely healthy but strangely unresponsive...

TYREST....this motherfucker....he is like, SO MUCH. the cape...the helmet crown thing...the holes....

tyrest told rodimus to ‘shut up or be held in contempt’ ayyyyyyyyyyyy

‘crimes against creation’ that's pretty dramatic dude

Let The Robots Swear!!

ok but rlly I find it funny that they're not allowed to say swear words (I'm assuming its not allowed rather than it being a creative choice) but all the death and violence and body horror is ok

chromedome is sitting there like oh holy shit did I find my now-dead husbands missing 1st husband after millions of years, like a WEEK after my husband died

chromedome mimicking the moustache with his finger...cute

its interesting to see a ‘sibling’ type of relationship here, since that's really uncommon for tfs since they don't really have families/lineage - of course, we don't really get to see dominus and minimus interact (until the FU), so

minimus really tried to pass himself off as a law-breaking smuggler lmaoooo that was never gonna work mdude

like he just continues acting exactly like ultra magnus except he pretends not to know these guys lol

‘forceful expressions of innocence’ tailgate ily

poor tg :( 

OH GOD pharma time. he’s out here looking totally unhinged and also thotty somehow, like usual

I SO subscribe to the idea that ratchet and pharma are exes are pharma still isn't over ratchet. that's the most entertaining and interesting way to read their interactions imo

dual chainsaw hands.....Bruh.

skiiiiiiiiiiiids....I love skids, he’s just such a good dude

also he’s really cool and also sexy. I feel like if anyone would be the mary sue of the series it would be skids rather than rung lmao 

oh shit I forgot skids gets skewered by star saber

aaaaaand ratchet’s in the box!!!! jesus pharma just say you kin the joker and go

HOW is ratchet alive tho like....wouldn't he need energon?? isn't energon basically blood for them, but also food, and fuel, and basically everything? I don't get it but yknow what, ill suspend my disbelief bc its so entertaining 

see, the little backstory on tyrest is really interesting, cause it seems to me that at one point, tyrest did have the best interests of the cybertronian people in mind, and he really did stand for true justice and tried to end the war peacefully - but somewhere along the way things went bad, and now here he is

oh rung, scolding somebody for revealing top secret information, that’s rich coming from mr hipaa violations himself 

lmao and minimus cant restrain himself from scolding rodimus either, and then very obviously fishing for information so he can ask questions without it being clear that he already knew all about the lost light 

vhbjahdbhjhdf im NEVER over rung passive-aggressively antagonizing minimus so he can accuse him of being ultra magnus hvbhjkdnfssfhsabjhdfk that's so funny

also its another example of rung maybe not being the best at his job - he’s basically manipulating magnus’s OCD to try to force minimus into revealing his identity...ethical? perhaps not. effective? oh yeah

I mean I guess you could say this is an example of rung being really good at his job, bc he was able to use psychology to deduce minimus’s identity...it’s more like he also decided to disregard medical ethics and ethics in general 

and then the reveal....ultra magnus is actually a much smaller green dude?! whaaaat!? 

ill talk more about it later but fr this is one of my favorite concepts that mtmte introduced, I fucking love it 

ahhhh I love this issue. tho tbh I love basically every issue. anyways tho I love the continuation of ratchet and pharma’s story, with pharma officially going off the rails with some complete bullshit, and also the big reveal about magnus/minimus! great stuff

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 12

Warning: swearing, several mentions of murder, scaring people out of their pants, Beej being a creep, shotgun use, abusive ex.

The ground was shaking, the house was somehow glitching and green smoke filled the living room. The girls heard a loud, croaky, devilish laugh right before the room turned completely dark. Even the lightning stopped. Sofía held Rei close in fear, while Ari was looking around with lustruous eyes. All of a sudden, a gravelly voice filled the air.

- Welcome, welcome, welcome, lovely ladies! - a weirdly handsome, husky man with fluffy hair, which went from black roots to glowing, bright green tops and stubble colored the same way stood on the dining table. He wore a dirty striped suit with a stripey shirt; a green tie, which had several spots of moss on it; black suspenders; and dirty black leather shoes with stacked heels. He was grinning, showing his sharp double canines; his golden, kind of catlike eyes were shining in excitement. Some random spots of dirt and maybe rotting patterned his face. He put a spotlight on himself, and as he threw his hands above his head, a couple of red neon lights lighted up around him. Some of them were arrows, pointing at him, some of them were captions saying "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice". - Can all of you see me now?

- SHIT HE'S REAL. - screamed Rei.

- Wow. - gasped Ari right before the man jumped down from the table. He landed right in front of her. He locked his gaze in hers and offered her a hand. - You look WAY better than I imagined, based on the voice. - she put her palm in his. - Not so dead... - Beetlejuice lifted Ari up from the ground and as he did, he locked her in his arms, swooped her off her feet and planted a kiss on her lips. Which was followed by a bitchslap from the wide-eyed breather girl. Beetlejuice let Ari go, still smiling like an idiot.

- Sorry, sorry, I got overjoyed, I just had to, I couldn't help myself. Am I overstepping my bounds? - Ari nodded and smiled while she wiped her lips. This man can't be real. Crazy motherfucker is worse than I imagined. - It's just that this whole thing is so beautiful! - his voice got emotional and he put his hands on his chest, where Ari imagined his heart would've been. - You called me! You didn't have to, but you called me!

- The fuck you mean she didn't had to? - asked Rei who let go of Sofía to inspect the demon more closely. Beetlejuice raised an eyebrow, pulled a grimace, snapped his fingers and a couple pieces of furniture appeared before the winter garden's door, making a barricade.

- Solves all ya problems. - he turned back to Ari. - NOW! I'm gonna go, kill those suckers, have some fun, earn some screams, and leave chaos in my wake!

- Yes, good, get on it! - stated Ari, held Beetlejuice's wide shoulders, and turned him around to face the backdoor. - Get'em, tiger. - Sofía jumped in front of them, making Beetlejuice almost fall over.

- Wait, you really want him to do that?!? - Ari gestured with her hand and raised her eyebrows.

- Duuuh, I didn't summon him to play fucking yahtzee! - BJ chuckled and put his elbow on Ari's shoulder.

- I like your jokes but I like hu-mor. - he cooed with a tilted head and a cheesy smile. Ari flashed a kind of annoyed look at him and blinked fast.

- Later, Beetlejuice, later, please, we have so much shit to do and haunt and kill now.

- You can't do that! - said Sofía, still standing before Ari and BJ. - It's not just morally wrong, but don't ya think, Ariadné dearest, that if a bunch of guys get brutally murdered here, we'll have to bury them and having a shitton of mounds in our backyard would raise suspicion? AND since we have such a bad luck, I'm pretty sure the police would find the bodies somehow. - Beetlejuice layed back to the wall, inspecting his dirty black nails, sighing. There's so much trouble with living folks, they always find somethin' to ruin the fun. It's easier with dead guys, you have some problems with them, you just throw 'em to a sandworm and your problems are solved! WAIT...

- Hey, guys, sorry to barge in, but I just wanna state that if you push someone, that’s bullying, if you kill someone, that’s murder, sure, but if there is no evidence and nobody sees it... - he shrugged. - ...it’s a simple accident. - he showed a toothy grin, lightning flashing on his sharp double canines. - And those goddamn sandworms could swallow anyone alive.

- What's a sandworm? - asked Ari excitedly. BJ shrugged.

- Oh ya know, nothing much, just 10-meters-tall two-headed snakes with a killer appetite. If they eat someone, they automatically get deported to the Netherworld, or I dunno how ya folks call it, Purgatory. No problem with the body, or the ghost. - Ari smiled widely and launched herself at Beetlejuice. She hugged his neck tightly.

- YOU ARE A GENIUS! - Beetlejuice just stood still, not knowing what to do with the sudden hug.

- Well, being dead has its perks. - he said with a small, weird laugh. Ari made a disgusted face and quickly let go.

- Ew, you smell like rotten meat. Gross.

- Aww thanks babe! - ha cooed and put his weight from one leg to another like a little kid.

Rei cleared her throat.

- Isn't that swallowing thing still murder though? - Beetlejuice appeared right behind her out of thin air.

- Jesus Christ, Rei, you sexy son of a bitch, grow up! - he said and pinched her booty, then quickly reappeared on the dining table. - Please, sweethearts, shut up already! - he said in a nagging manner. - I'm ready for some people to die! Let me have my fun, you guys are like a snorefest! - the knocking started again, since the bad guys on the other side of the door realized they can't break it.

- Who's there with ya honey? - asked Matt, after hearing BJ talk. - Did... DID YOU HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE?! I AM ALL THAT YOU NEED! ARIADNÉ, DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE!!! - BJ pointed at the door.

- See, the stupid motherfucker's even asking for it!

The girls looked at each other. Rei was the first to talk.

- Well, I have a very little patience for stupidity. I say let's get rid of these jerks. - Sofía rolled her eyes and tried to say something but Beetlejuice quickly pointed at her and a metal plate appeared on her lips, making her unable to talk. She flashed an angry look at the demon. But he just shrugged with a wicked smile.

- Silence gives consent.

- There's only one more thing! - stated Rei, which made Beetlejuice do a huge eyeroll.

- WHATTTT.

- Kill only Matt. His henchmen don't deserve death, I mean at least I think so. - she said while looking at Ari. She nodded with pouted lips. - Only scare them. If you can do that. - Beetlejuice held his chest and dramatically made the expression of fainting.

- If I can do that?! What do ya think, what am I, a newbie? - he jumped off the table, booping Rei's nose. - Babes, I've been scaring for like a millennia. I'm the bio-exorcist of the Netherworld, giving houses enemas and shit. - he turned away. - Don't underestimate my power cause I'll be offended! - Ari laughed, jumped next to Beetlejuice who hold his arm out, so she locked arms with him. He stared deeply into her widely opened, emerald green eyes. - So tell me, little wolf, do you want to punish those who have wronged you? - he said in an arousing tone. His gravelly voice made Ari slightly shiver and gulp.

- Y-yes...

- Alright ladies, then let's turn up the juice and see what shakes loose!

With a snap of the fingers, all 4 of them teleported to the kitchen. The metal plate from Sofía's mouth disappeared, which made her kind of relieved, but still left her grouching.

- You snake-ass bitches don't respect the Sister Code... - she grumbled.

- Hey, d'ya want me to put the plate back on your slutty mouth, woman?! - asked Beetlejuice in a sharp tone. Sofía crossed her arms before her chest.

- ...I hate you. - Beetlejuice nodded then turned back to Ari with a devilish smile. His eyes were literally glowing at this point, and maybe he had sharper and a bit more teeth than an average human would have.

- Okay, so first thing first, I'm invoking the "No Judgement” clause of our friendship.

- What? Why? - asked Ari. Beetlejuice layed back to the middle kitchen counter and fixed his jacket. He flashed his glowing, hungry eyes at Ari and winked.

- Cause Imma get a little nasty... - Beetlejuice was interrupted by an angry scream. Matthias was banging on the door so loud at this point that Rei was sure he already broke some of his fingers.

- OPEN UP OR I'LL SHOOT THIS FUCKIN DOOR OPEN! - Ari's lower lip juddered at the sudden shouting. She cupped Beetlejuice's chubby face in her palms, took a deep breath and with heated determination in her eyes she said:

- Make him piss his pants.

- Your wish is my command, babes.

- I'M GONNA COUNT TO THREE! - Beetlejuice looked at the door and snapped his fingers. - ONE! - the furniture floated back to their original places. - TWO! - BJ let out a voiceless laugh as he wiggled his fingers and made the whole house pitch black. - FUCK IT! - and with that, right after the sound of barrel-loading a shotgun, the door of the winter garden opened with a creek.

One of the most sobering things in the world must be to experience a classical horror cliché in a house that is rumored to be haunted. There were 5 men standing behind Matt; he met them all earlier that night at a shitty pub, and they were all horny and drunk enough for Matthias to convince them easily to follow him and break into the house of his ex-girlfriend. Stupid boys thought that they'll get some easy pussy that night. Then they saw the house and all of them started to get second thoughts... But they quickly brushed them off, those rumors were just to scare the little townsfolk.

As soon as the door opened, Matt's henchmen looked at each other. Matthias hastily stepped into the house and looked back at the guys. They were stalling and shared concerned looks. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and appeared with the girls hidden behind one of the huge cupboards of the winter garden. He leaned closer to Ari and whispered:

- Watch. This. - he pointed at one of Ari's big oleanders and started to wiggle his fingers. The plant started to grow, and as it got bigger and bigger, it became an anthropomorphic cross between a Venus flytrap and an avocado. It had a huge, nasty-looking pod which had shark-like teeth. Ari gasped and smiled widely. She always wanted to see this plant in real life. The men didn't notice the plant first, but then one of them started to sniff the air, which was filled with the smell of blood now, and turned around. As soon as he spotted the plant, he screamed like a girl. Beetlejuice opened his mouth in awe and circled his nipples.

- Oh how I missed that sound... - he purred. Ari laughed.

- Do the Voice, do the Voice, do the Voice! - she said excitedly and jokingly smacked BJ's upper arm a couple times. The demon showed his teeth, held out his hand like a sock puppet and immitated talking with it. As he did, the plant started to talk.

- FEED ME SEYMOOUUR! - the plant growled at the men before it. All 5 of them screamed and launched themselves into the pitch black room. They shoved Matt before themselves, who fell on his stomach, dropped his weapon and headbanged the hardwood floor. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers again, which made him and the girls reappear behind the sofa. He peeked out, threw his hand up and made a pulling movement. The burglars all got dragged deeper into the room. It felt like something grabbed their ankles and pulled them...

In the blink of a moment, the door slammed shut behind them, and maniacal laughter filled the air, like it came from every direction. Beetlejuice winked at the girls and got back to his normal, gravelly tone.

- Learn to throw your voice, fool your friends, fun at parties!

- Now THAT is cool! I wanna do that too! - said Rei in an excited tone. Sofía rolled her eyes; she was still very pissed at her sisters so she decided to not give a damn, doesn't matter what awesome things Ari's demon buddy could do. Ari peeked over the edge of the sofa and giggled at the expressions of the men. They looked so afraid. Beetlejuice quickly pulled her back and shushed her with a small laugh. He gestured towards the fireplace which instantly lit up. One of the guys let out a tiny scream, which made BJ rub his palms in ecstasy. He bit his lower lip.

- Mi mamá was right. - said one of the burglars, a shorter latino guy with wobbly voice. - This place... is cursed.

- No it's not. - stated the one next to him. He sounded clearly afraid as well, he just tried to cover it with confidence. - Anyway, what is it with you and curses? You're never happy without a good curse. Superstitious idiot. - he changed into a more sarcastical tone. - "This is cursed, that is cursed!"

- Give it a rest, will ya!!! - shouted Matt, who was looking for the shotgun. - Don't be pussies! It's just the wind, and my baby always had weird plants. You know what we came for. Let's head upstairs, 2 people per girl, and have some fun! - he flashed an evil smile at his "friends". And that made Beetlejuice's blood boil.

- Not on my watch, Mattyboy! - he hissed. He closed his eyes for a moment. Welp, hope I'm not rusty. - Let's see, what are you jerks the most afraid of?

He disappeared from behind the sofa. The girls peeked out, and clearly saw a shadow figure circling the men. It was audible that something was moving behind them. The burglars turned around but didn't see a thing. Beetlejuice's shadow form took a quick look into every men's eyes. Several scriptures from the Middle Ages tell us that if a demon looks into your eyes, they can see your biggest fears. Who would've thought that it's true?

- Got it. - said Beej as he reappeared behind the sofa with a snap. He took a quick look on Ari's excited faced, and flashed a toothy grin. - This is gonna be so. Much. Fun. Let's give those guys the fright of their lives! - Beetlejuice disappeared again, just to reappear next to the windows. His figure was vaguely illuminated by the random thunderbolts. He tilted his head sideways and dropped his left hand next to himself. His painted black nails grew into huge claws, his catlike eyes were glowing, just like his dark burgundy hair. It always looked like this when he was in a destructive, devilish mood. He flashed a wicked, Cheshire-like smile and started to scratch the windows. It made the girls' get goosebumps but the burglars' look was a good enough compensation for the unpleasantness. Ari was pretty sure that the guys saw BJ for a moment before he disappeared with a laugh again. He sounded so evil. Beetlejuice appeared next to Ari again, digging into his fluffy hair, eyes closed, wide smile on his face. Shit, that's hot, thought Ari. - I'm still the Ghost with the Most.

- What if they go upstairs? - asked Sof with a raised eyebrow, pointing at the burglars approaching the stairs. - Hmm? Did ya plan out something for that as well, Mr. Ghosty-ghost?

- Well I have ideas... - said Ari and leaned close to Beej. She whispered something into his ear which made him bite his lower lip. At this point his teeth were more shark-like than human-like.

- Shit babes, you're a natural... - he moaned and flung his hand towards the stairs. Matthias just stepped on the first step, but was stopped by the sight of 2 little girls standing on the top of the stairs, holding hands. Their eyes were all black.

- Come play with us, Matty. Forever... and ever... and ever... - they said in the same rhythm, with the creepiest child-voice you can ever imagine. The burglars stepped back. Ari couldn't hold back any longer and shouted:

- NOW!

The children started screaming histerically and in the same moment, blood started to wave down the stairs, soaring on the walls, splashing at the men. They all screamed bloody murder and tried to ran away, scattering in every possible direction. Beetlejuice's eyes were glowing with pleasure.

- Do you hear that sound, Ari? That BEAUTIFUL sound? - he said with a moan and bit his fist. - That is the sound, of clean, white, shorts turning brown.. - he looked at Ari. - Ain't it the sweetest noise around? - he laughed maniacally which made Ari and Rei giggle as well. - You guys stay here so you won't stay in the way, but you... - he grabbed Ari's hand and pulled her up to her feet. - ...you deserve to enjoy the show from first row, babes.

With a snap, they appeared in the corner, next to good old Long John Silver's skeleton. Beetlejuice wiggled his fingers and the pirate slowly came to life. One of the burglars, with terror in his eyes, tried to run away as far as possible from the reanimated corpse, but clumsily, he lost his foothold because of the dripping blood from his clothes and fell on his back. It made a huge thud. Ari burst out laughing, like the child she was in heart, but tried to cover her mouth with her hand. Beetlejuice was laughing too, but decided to top his performance and wiggled his fingers again. The pirate started rattling as he lifted his sword up, let out a warcry, and started to run in the lying man's direction. He let out an agonizingly high-pitched scream as he got up. BJ and Ari laughed more histerically.

- Did you hear that?! - wheezed the girl and slapped BJ's shoulder. - Oh my god let's make some more people scream!

BJ held Ari's hand, and pulled her over to the TV. The demon tapped the screen which instantly lit up in blue. Weird streaks appeared on it, then a hand from the inside, tapping the glass. Then another one. Then one more. Two guys, who now held each other, screamed out. BJ put his arm around Ari's shoulders.

- Panic and stress, oh ain't it the best? - he said an laughed with his head thrown backwards.

- You are such a weirdo! - she laughed and elbowed him in the side. He let her go, tilted his head sideways, hunched down and bit his lips in a weird, kinda creepy manner. Ari wheezed and scruffed his fluffy hair. Beetlejuice hunched down more.

- Now behind my ear... - he said with a moan. Ari pulled her hand back with a laugh. She looked around, admiring the sight of bloody men running around, but then her eyes found a specific person standing before the steps, staring at her with a shotgun in his hand. The smile from her face disappeared. She took a step back, and Beetlejuice instantly stepped before her, covering her with his body. He formed a little cup with one of his hands, held out the other dramatically and blew into his palm. A huge blob of fire appeared right before them, blowing up in Matthias's face. He screamed and BJ laughed. - No worries babes, I got ya. NOW WHERE WERE WE. - he turned around and after some looking, he pointed at a guy. He was trying to open up the front door, but it was shut. Beetlejuice made huge gestures and summoned a crazy eyed, killer looking dog. Ari awwed and crouched down. The dog acted all surprised when the girl scruffed his head, but in half a second he got really happy and wagged his tail. Beetlejuice raised an eyebrow and made an unimpressed face. - You are a hellhound, you are SO not supposed to do that. - Ari laughed, hugged the dog one more time, then pointed at the guy Beetlejuice was eyeing.

- Go, catch! - she said in an angelic voice. The hellhound started barking and running towards his target. Poor guy jumped up on the hall cabinet.

Beetlejuice snapped again. They now appeared in the downstairs bathroom. A burglar was leaning against the bathroom door, huffing, and as they appeared, he pointed at BJ in fear.

- YOU! - he shouted. - My dad told me about you! The stripey demon with the stupid hair who haunts the creepy house at the edge of the town! Nobody believed a young weedhead pizza guy but you ARE real! - Beetlejuice shrugged and flashed an evil smile.

- Well, why didn't you listen to him? I bet he told ya to stay away from this... - he rubbed his palms together. - ...creepy house... - he opened his palms, water pouring out of them. Ari climbed up on the washing machine, which was a good idea, noticing that something huge started to move in the water. A crab-like figure. The guy screamed bloody murder. BJ laughed and snapped. Him and Ari reappeared in the living room, right behind the sofa. Rei was clapping like an idiot. Shit, even Sofía looked a bit more enthusiastic now. What can I say, the guy IS good.

- Are you lovely ladies having fun? - Ari and Rei nodded exaggeratedly, Sofía huffed and rolled her eyes. - Well the real show is just about to begin! Take your seats! - Beetlejuice teleported the girls onto the sofa while himself appeared on the coffee-table. He started tapping a rhythm with his feet and out of nowhere, the sound of a guitar could be heard. Then came drums. BJ was kinda dancing around on the table, feeling himself. One of the burglars ran towards him with a glass thing he found on one of the shelves. BJ fixed his jacket and with a movement of a hand, he summoned fire towards him. Then laughed at the guy falling over. Now full on music was blasting. Theatrical weirdo, thought Ari. Rei clapped, BJ bowed. Then he raised his hands slowly, making big spiders emerge from the ground. Sof whined a little and closed her eyes.

- EWEWEWEWEW.

One of the burglars, who was sitting in the corner, legs pulled up to his chest, cried out.

- THIS IS JUST A LUCID DREAM! I'M DREAMING! - BJ turned his head backwards, then floated before him with a normal facing, tilted head, and grabbed the guy's chin.

- Really? - the girls didn't see what's happening really, but what they saw, was that BJ's head was getting bigger and that he opened his lower jaw like a snake. - Then tell me, buddyboy, why do I hear you screaming? - the burglar screamed out and turned white as a wall. Beetlejuice appeared next to Ari on the sofa. He wiped his teary eyes and laughed again. Ari grabbed his thigh with an excited smile.

- You are fantastic! Unbelievable! That was a sound that says I will never sleep well again! - she breathed in. BJ's eyes were glowing at her. Literally glowing. - I can't believe you are such a talented scarer. Hollywood should learn from you. - the demon looked down at his shoes and crumpled his jacket. A slight streak of pink appeared in his hair. Ari jumped back. - OH MY GOD YOUR HAIR CHANGES COLOR! - he pulled the differently colored streak and sighed.

- Yeah, it's like a moodring... Stupid thing always tells on me...

- THAT IS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! - said Ari with excitement in her voice. - What does light pink mean?

- NOTHING. - stated Beej. With a little bit too much voice. He cleared his throat. - Imma tell ya later, but as you said, we still have so much shit to do, to haunt, to kill... - he winked at Ari who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms before her chest. Beetlejuice booped her nose, than pulled her up onto the table. He whirled her around in ecstasy, both laughing, BJ howling sometimes. - Nice moves, little hellion! - he laughed. The music in the background got louder and louder with each moment. BJ let Ari go for a moment. The guys were losing it at this point, most of them crying and running around. Beetlejuice looked at his pal. - Hey Ari, check this out! - he raised his hands, pointing at one guy after another, twitching with each move. All 6 of them stood up straight. BJ looked at Ari with a wicked smile. - Dance break!

To the rhythm of the music, the burglars all started to dance. They did the same moves BJ did, with a weird green fog in their eyes. Beetlejuice occasionally looked at the girls, who were laughing their asses off. BJ did The Thing™, which made them all snort. Beetlejuice didn't notice that it also made Ari check out his pelvic moves.

The music ended, Rei and Sof was holding each other, both of them teared up by laughter. Ari slapped her thighs. Beetlejuice bowed several times.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you! That was an old Scandinavian folk song. - the girls teared up again. Beetlejuice smiled like an idiot. Now his hair was more green then burgundy. He was having a great time. - I mean, yeah, I put my own spin on it, but... Hey, ya liked it!

And that's when their laughter was stopped by the sound of barrel-loading a shotgun.

[ober-affen-geil]

My Roswell Rewatch liveblog

1x01 AKA The Episode That Launched A Thousand Ships

sorry michael, that ship looks wayyyy bigger than the pieces you have gathered so far

“ma’am” LMAOOOOO MAX IS SO DONE

aaaaaand i was already hooked on this ship. damn

ohhhh “you were always a good girl”. DAMN SHERIFF, OUCH

oh man I miss this character, rip grant green

I LOVE HOW ARTURO GETS RIGHT IN ON THE GAG OMG

aw liz i love her relationship with her father. ugh.

oh max. you are so fucked buddy. “left front running light” lol

wow they went right into this didn’t they, i forgot it happened so fast jeeze. 

OH LIKE NO ONE OUTSIDE NOTICED ALL THE LIGHTS BLOWING AT ONCE COME ON you know what whatever it’s fine

“You like when I’m in control?” WOW RESTROSPECTIVE FEELS

yes liz go off

did she go, straight to the hospital? like that night?

love how kyle went right into doctor mode when liz was freaking out. now that i know i love him this is better

GODDAMMIT THEY REALLY WENT ALL OUT WITH MICHAEL’S INTRO HUH THIS IS DELIBERATELY SEXY AF AND I AM ATTACKED

love the sibling dynamics lmao

“that you would do this to isobel is ridiculous” WOW GLAD THEY ESTABLISHED HE’S A MARTYR FROM LIKE LINE 5

“you’ve never done anything for anybody” sigh. max, i’m gonna put this up to the fact that you are raging out from healing liz because YOU DAMN WELL KNOW THAT’S NOT FUCKING TRUE, ASSHOLE

aw love how he comforts isobel on his way out. he didn’t mean it to come out that hard ugh FUCK I AM UNDONE BY ACTING DAMMIT

“run and tell your daddy” OUCH 

the fact that they could do so much exposition in this scene with no dialog (not counting the flashback) is really great

“can you keep a secret?” HAHAHAHA

max do not gaslight her you asshole (yes i know michael is threatening you but COME ON)

maria i love you but there was nothing thinly veiled about that racism

ouch ouch ouch this fucking hurts they were so LITTLE

“Its been 10 years Iz if I could have I would have” TALLY ONE FOR LINES THAT FUCKING DESTROY ME

speaking of random sex, different guy, hi kyle

it’s a really special skill to cockblock yourself by caring about the other person

how would max know that might happen? has he done this before? when? WHO??

“I don’t think michael cares enough about the world to bother changing it” WOW SPOT ON DAMN

“what are you max” LIZ YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THIS

“you know its the science that scares us the most” wow that delivery tho, it made that line hit a lot harder than it should have but it helps hes looking at THE WOMAN HE LOVES, A SCIENTIST

i cannot believe out of the THREE WHOLE BUNKERS in this town the one that is the most tricked out is also THE WORST HIDDEN

aaaaaand theres the minority metaphor i honestly dont hate it here

oh max bb you are not subtle

GOD THE ROMANCE, THE DRAMA, THE FUCKING SUNSET, THE PROXIMITY, THE ALMOST TOUCH FUCK ME RIGHT UP JESUS

“after high school you would have followed me.” “yeah, anywhere” TALLY TWO FOR QUOTES JFC

“at least one survived” YEAH YOU WOULD KNOW HUH JESSE

“you cooking meth?” JFC ALEX

GOD THE TENSION BETWEEN THESE TWO I SWEAR

maria is so savage and i love her

“come on I’ll take you home” THAT’S WHAT HE SAID RIGHT BEFORE THEY FINALLY KISS OH MY GOD FEELS

you guys already know many, many of my thoughts on this scene so i’m just gonna check out real quick and scream

popping back in to say “what i want doesn’t matter” TALLY THREE MOTHERFUCKERS AND I AM WEAK

“when the truth hunts you down” WOW WOW WOW LYRIC PLACEMENT FUCK

[loverontheleft]

Ready to Leap (8.1)

AU with B as a band teacher and reader as an English teacher. Fluff and smut anticipated. Chapters 1-7 can be found on my Masterlist.

Brendon x reader. Warnings: language, sexual implications, and content.

NOTE: THIS IS STILL FROM BRENDON’S POV. I’m still using Y/n when Brendon’s referring to the reader because it seems easiest, but the second person “you” in this chapter is our boy.

Word count: 4K in this part. Chapter 8.2 linked at bottom.

If you stopped reading after 7.1, you’re missing a part! Go read 7.2 here.

-||-

She’s writhing under you, actually begging for your dick in her and her pussy is so tight and wet around your two fingers that you can hardly focus on your own pressing ha concern at hand. Did you pack condoms? You’re pretty sure you did. You’ve been fantasizing about this night with her since she first said she wanted to be in your bed. You did pack them, didn’t you?

It doesn’t matter though. The fire alarm is so sudden and loud that she almost rolls off the bed, and because of how she’s been clutching you desperately, you almost go with her.

“An emergency has been detected in the building. Please evacuate using the safest emergency exit...An emergency has been detected in the building. Please evacuate using the safest emergency exit...An emergency has been detected in the building. Please evacuate using the safest emergency exit...” The droning electronic voice is blaring almost louder than the alarm.

“Fuck,” you hiss, rolling off of her. “Okay, go get dressed and come back here quickly; we’ll go downstairs together.” She nods, scrambling off of the bed for her room and is back remarkably quickly in a pair of tight jeans you’ve never seen before and a solid green fitted tee. You’ve slipped your sneakers on and she comes over to fix your hair, while you gently wipe under her eyes where her mascara has smudged. “Ready? We both look like we’ve been taking a nap, right?”

“Yep. A really fun nap. Let’s evacuate using the safest emergency exit,” she says sulkily and you wrap your arm around her and leave the room. “I’m just saying, if this is real and we die in the stairwell, I’m going to be pissed. I would have rather died getting fucked by you.” You laugh and kiss the top of her head.

“You know this isn’t real.”

“That almost makes it worse,” she whines, looking up at you with needy eyes.

“I know honey. I know.” All is the students and parents are either still out at dinner or they chose to believe this alarm was fake; none of them are out here. You reach in your jeans pocket, the ones you pulled on in a rush, and are pleased to find your wallet. You look over and she’s got her phone. “We still have two and a half hours before the kids have to be back. Why don’t we ditch this place and you call us a Lyft and we’ll go get dinner?”

She smiles up at you, slipping a hand into yours. “That sounds really nice. Let’s do that.”

-||-

The Lyft pulls up and you both climb in. You’ve put in an address to your favorite restaurant in the area and she’s curled up under your arm and god, this just feels so natural. Your driver is pleasant enough, a young college-aged guy who quickly picks up on your desire to be alone. He turns on his music to something slow and vaguely seductive and gives you a thumbs up in the rearview mirror. You smile appreciatively; the kid is earning that 5-star rating.

He drops you off at the curb and you hope he’s the one to pick you up when you’re done at dinner. Her eyes light up and she turns to you. “I fucking love Mexican food.” You snake an arm around her waist and lead her inside.

“And this is really fucking good Mexican food.”

The two of you must be giving off hardcore couple vibes because the hostess gives you a curved booth in the back corner. Once you’re seated, she slides to be right against your side and you slip a hand over her thigh almost possessively. She looks up at you happily. “This is almost like a real date.”

You laugh and correct her. “This is a real date.” You dip your head down and she tips her head up to meet your mouth for a gentle kiss. As you part, you can see your waiter approaching. Excellent timing.

You order drinks and look down at her inquisitively. “Queso?” And she looks at you like it’s not even a question. You laugh and add that to the order and your waiter promises he’ll be right back with everything. She slips out to go to the bathroom so she can wash her hands, which is probably a good idea, all things considered. You’ll go when she’s back.

You’re laughing and feeding each other chips and you notice she’s got the tiniest bit of queso on the side of her mouth. When she isn’t looking, you swipe some cheese off of a chip. “Com’mere honey, you’ve got some queso- let me just-“ and as she turns to you, you carefully wipe more across her lips. She laughs, swatting at you playfully. “No no, I got it!” You insist as you kiss her and she presses closer. You pull away a little breathlessly. “Yeah, I think I got it.”

“That’s such a coincidence because you’ve got some on your face now too,” she grins and pulls you back in for more.

-||-

When dinner is over, you pay the bill and she pulls up Lyft. Looking over her shoulder, you comment, “can we request drivers on that thing? I liked that guy we had on the way here.”

She grins up at you. “Oh my little hermit. You can’t request drivers. Why did you like him? He was kinda quiet.” Her tone isn’t accusing, just curious.

“One, don’t make fun of your elders.” You touch the tip of your finger to her nose teasingly. “Two, he put on sexy music and gave me a thumbs up. I bet he’d let us make out.”

She arches an eyebrow as she submits the Lyft request. “You know we’re going back to a hotel, right? Where we have a room? To ourselves?”

You’re outside now and you’re wrapping your arms around her waist from behind. “Yeahhhhhhhh but I don’t wanna wait.”

She twists in your arms to kiss you. “Me either. Life is really hard, isn’t it?” You nod, pouting. A car pulls up and she pats your arm. “This is us. Let’s go Urie.” You release her and move around her to open the car door. “Thank you.” She smiles up at you and holds out her hand for you to join her.

You’re not so lucky this time; your driver is enthusiastic and chattery and could probably talk to a brick wall. Your face doesn’t betray what you’re feeling, but Milton must be reading your mind because she’s giggling into your arm and squeezing your hand. “Patience, love.” She whispers and you nod. If you were with literally anyone else, you’d be fine with this situation. But she’s not just anyone.

There’s not a crowd of people outside and the hotel appears to be intact. “We made the right choice, getting food,” you comment and she nods, taking your hand again.

“How much longer til we get scores?” She looks up at you curiously and you smile. “What?”

“Nothing. You just said ‘we.’ It made me happy.” You lead her into the elevator and pull her against you. “You care about the thing I love and it just makes me happy. Watching you today at lunch, you weren’t just going through the motions. You care like I care. It’s just one more thing that makes this feel so right.” She goes up on her toes to kiss you.

“It does feel right.” You’re still kissing her, mouths sliding open against each other, your hands trailing down her back to grab her ass and pull her against your stirring erection when the doors open. There’s a clearing of a throat and you both freeze.

Fuck. Fuck. Don’t be a student. Oh fuck. Don’t be a parent. Which would be worse? Fuck. Fucking fuck.

She drops back to her feet and slowly turns. Her body slackens in relief and yours does too. It’s a stranger. And fortunately, this is your floor - though you’d probably get off even if it’s wasn’t - so you grab her hand and pull her off with a quick “sorry!” and you both scurry down the hall, giggling like teenagers. You stop outside your door and are fumbling with your wallet to get the key out when she presses you against the wall and kisses you hard. “Honey, gonna let us get inside?” You gasp against her lips. She nods, slipping the key from your fingers and unlocking the door. She’s hitching a leg around your waist and you support her with one arm and you reach behind you to pull the door lever down. It gives and you walk backward, pulling her other leg up and teasing her mouth open for your tongue.

She pulls back, eyes heavy and chest heaving. “God, Urie, take me back to bed.”

You’ve managed to get her onto the bed and you’re pulling your shirts off over your heads you look down - “fuck Y/n, I forgot about this.” You run your hands over her breasts, reveling in the feel of her warm skin under the black lace.

“You forgot? I’m hurt Urie,” you tease, arching into his touch.

“Don’t worry, I’ll remember this forever,” you assure her, slipping a hand under her to unsnap it when she stops you.

“It opens in the front.”

“Oh fuck yes,” you murmur, and she reaches down to press the cups together, causing the center to crease and you find the snap. Her breasts spill out for you and she wriggles out of the straps as you attach your lips to one of her nipples, suckling gently. She whines softly, holding your head in one hand while the other moves down between your bodies so she can cup your erection through your jeans. “Feel how hard you get me?” Your breath is hot against her skin and she’s moaning and trying to get her hand down your pants. “Hang on, honey, I’ll take them off,” you promise, and it’s right when you’ve got your pants past your thighs and she’s stroking with enthusiasm that your phone rings.

“Motherfucker,” she groans, releasing your dick and falling back against the bed.

“No, fuck, no,” you practically cry, and she fumbles around the bed for your phone before tossing it to you. Scores are being emailed so any call this late is probably not good. Ignoring it is not an option. You take a deep breath and steady your voice. “Hello?” You shift back against the pillows and she curls into your side. “Uh huh. Yeah.” A pause. “Oh that’s terrible - No, I understand.” You look down at her and she kisses your chest. “Okay. Will you still be - or do I need to - okay.” She looks concerned and you smooth a hand over her hair. “Okay. Thank you. Yes, you too.” You hang up. “Well, fuck.” She props herself up on her forearm and looks at you. “There was an electrical fire in the auditorium where they were planning on doing the musicality evaluations tomorrow. No one is hurt but they’re closing the school tomorrow and probably Monday to check it over.”

She sighs. “At least no one got hurt?” You nod and fall back against the pillows, thinking.

“We could go home tonight. But we’d obviously still pay for the hotel. So it just makes sense to leave tomorrow morning, right?”

She nods. “Absolutely. Our driver wasn’t planning on driving back tonight. We can sleep in, have breakfast here, and then roll for home.” You nod too.

“They’re still sending out scores in about an hour, so once the kids are back, we’ll discuss scores and let them know they get to sleep in.”

She snuggles down against you and you wrap your arm around her. “It’ll be a reward for doing so well today,” she says encouragingly and you smile.

“That’s a good way to look at it.” She yawns a little and closes her eyes. “You sleepy, baby?” You ask, running your fingers through her hair. She nods lazily and opens her eyes to look up at you.

“Honey and baby, what on earth did I do to earn both?”

You smile. “You gave me one hell of a blow job earlier, and I really like you. You can go to sleep you know, I’ll wake you up when the scores are here.”

“But you wanna play,” she mumbles and you laugh.

“Honey, I’m always going to want to play with you. But you’re tired and I’m just as content to snuggle up with you and hold you while you sleep.”

“That sounds nice. You should get naked though.” She tells you, wiggling out of her own jeans and you push yours down the rest of the way, kicking them off. Once you’re both naked, you take her by the hips and pull her back flush against you. “Wake me up when scores are in,” she reminds you with one last yawn and you kiss the back of her neck.

-||-

“Milton, baby, wake up.” You’re kissing the back of her neck again and applying slight pressure with your fingertips to her waist, trying to rouse her gently despite your excitement. Her eyes flutter open and she turns to look at you, smiling sleepily.

“Hi.” Fuck she’s cute.

“Hi honey. Scores are in!” Her eyes snap open and she’s wide awake.

“Tell me tell me tell me.” She’s bouncing with enthusiasm and you inhale sharply, placing both hands on her shoulders to keep her down.

“Milton, I love that you’re excited but I need you to not do that right now when you’re naked. It is very distracting.”

She smirks. “Yes Mr. Urie. Now tell me tell me tell me!”

You stall, purposefully building the tension. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather wait until we’re with the band? To be surprised?”

She pouts playfully and fuck you need her not to do that either and she reminds you - “remember what happened last time we were surprised and excited with this show?”

“Fair enough. Let’s see.” You open the email, holding your breath. You both scan through the attached sheets before turning to look at each other.

“Holy fuck,” you say simultaneously. And then she’s pouncing on you, kissing you furiously as though you’re her only source of air and you can’t get enough of her; you want to live and die and solely exist in this moment.

When you finally break apart, lips swollen and chests heaving, you cup her face in one hand and she leans into it, trying to catch her breath. “We need to go tell the kids,” you murmur, and she nods, kissing your palm and rolling off the bed, looking for her clothes. “But we should probably both tidy up a little bit. We both look...well. They’ll know.” You stand side by side in the bathroom mirror, attempting to look professional. She's smoothed her back into a sleek bun and is splashing cold water on her face to reduce redness and swelling in her lips, while you comb through your hair and mimic her water trick since it seems to work.

She catches your eye in the mirror and grins. “We’re really cute.” You can’t help but smile and you wrap your arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

“Yes. We are.” You both stay there for a moment, just holding each other, relishing the moment. “Okay. Ready?” She nods and once you’re downstairs in the conference room, you send the message through the band Remind that scores are in and they should report to the conference room. You might be imagining it, but you think you hear doors opening and closing and feet flying down the hall. You wince a little, hoping they don’t disturb other guests if your hearing is accurate.

They come pouring into the room en masse, faces shining with hope and excitement. The parents are a bit slower, but the room slowly fills and everyone is present. You look around, trying to keep a serious face.

“In visual performance, out of 200 possible points, we received 195.” There’s a gasp of glee. “We were marked down on stamina and recovery, they want to see you really push to Dies Irae and not look like you just ran a marathon basically.” They nod, and a few of them are taking notes. “In musical performance, out of 200 possible points, we received 192.” Their eyes are wide. “They want more range and variety in musical skill, so really show off in those solos guys. You earned them, now flaunt it. They also want more contrast in your pianissimos and fortissimos. Everyone should be at their softest or loudest; don’t rely on your section-mates to accommodate you.” You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “Finally, in overall effect, out of 400 points, we received 392.” Marissa bursts into happy tears in one of the front tables, covering her face. Y/n goes to her and places a hand on her back. “They want more nuances, so again, the contrast and the little details, and better pacing. All of this is doable. More than doable. And for those you who haven’t been doing the math as I go, that’s a total of 779 out of 800. And it’s a Superior rating.” You walk over and shake Marissa’s trembling hand. “Well done Madame Drum Major. Well done all of you.” The room explodes and Y/n smiles softly at you.

“Congrats,” she mouths and you grin.

“And I have other news everyone - it’s technically bad but it works in your favor.” You explain the situation with the electrical fire and how they won’t be performing tomorrow, but they do get to sleep in and eat breakfast here before heading home. Everyone looks happy, especially the parents. “Now, lights still have to be out at 11pm,” you remind them, “and all of the usual rules apply.”

-||-

You’re both sitting back in bed, arms around each other, just reveling in the moment. “We should play a game.” She looks up at you with bright eyes.

You laugh. “Oh yeah? What kind of game?” She shrugs and you tickle her side lightly. “Excellent contribution, Milton. A+ work there,” you tease and she pouts. “I’m sorry. Why don’t you tell me what you want to happen as a result of said game and we’ll figure out one that achieves it?”

She’s grinning now. “I want embarrassing stories and kisses.”

“We don’t have to play a game for you to get either of those,” you tell her, laughing a little. “I’m an open book, remember?”

“Mmmmm,” she agrees, running a finger down your chest. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you did as a child? That you remember?”

You tip your head back to think. “Oh! Oh god,” you laugh harder. “Okay so. We used to do breakfast for dinner on Tuesday nights with my grandparents. And I had this amazing piece of turkey sausage. So good. And I’m just, you know, trying to get all of the juices out of it like one does.” She’s laughing behind her hands. “And my grandma asks, Brendon, what are you doing? So I tell her loudly that I am in fact sucking on my sausage. My older brother then does a spit take of orange juice all over my grandfather.” You both laugh for a minute and you look over at her. “What about you?”

She grins. “I’ll let you choose. Age 5 or age 10?” You pause to think before deciding on 5. “Okay so. When I was in kindergarten, it was Valentine’s Day. And this boy I had a crush on - shut up” she must see the grin on your face - “was wearing red pants so I walked up to him and was like, hey my underwear matches your pants and he was like really? And I said yes, wanna see? And he said yes so I dropped my pants on the playground.” You’re wiping tears from laughter and she’s hiding her face, clearly embarrassed.

“That’s incredible. Oh my god. That’s incredible.” She gives in and is laughing too before trying to catch her breath.

“Okay. I want to hear about your first kiss.”

“It was you.” Her eyes widen ever so slightly and you start laughing. “Oh my god I’m kidding. I was 14 and her name was Cherry.” She blinks at you. “I’m not kidding this time. Her name was Cherry and it was on a dare and she put her tongue in my mouth and it was...fine.” Your tone says ‘fine’ is a generous way of putting it. You look at her. “And yours?”

“Oh god. So embarrassing.” You lean in and kiss her softly, lips caressing hers and she moans a little, pressing forward and whining when you pull away. “It definitely wasn’t like that,” she laughs. “It was in High School Musical 3,” and you can’t help the snort of laughter. “I know. And it wasn’t even during the really sweet Right Here, Right Now. It was during I Want It All.” Her face sours a little and you pull her close. “And he just sort of shoved his tongue in my mouth and pushed me down in the couch.” Your jaw tightens and she reaches out to stroke your face. “No, it’s okay. He broke up with me like two weeks later.”

You feel the shock on your face. “How is that okay?!”

“Because I’m fine now. So it doesn’t really matter in the end.” You lean over and kiss her again and she melts into your embrace. “So. More embarrassing stories.” She pulls back, grinning wickedly. “Tell me about the first time you went down on a girl.”

You laugh, running a hand over your face. “God, it was so...I don’t even know. I was enthusiastic, that’s for sure. I can’t brag on my technique, but I was enthusiastic. She was kind. She laughed, but because of how...yeah. I was. She wasn’t mean about it.” She grins.

“Well, I wanna send her a thank you note for not discouraging you.” She nudges you playfully and you smirk, pulling her on top of you.

“And just think, you haven’t even gotten my full attention. Fuck, I love pussy. Around my fingers, on my tongue, my dick, my face...fuck. Just love it. When I first tasted you, you had my dick in your mouth so I was verrrrrrry distracted.” She raises her eyebrow and bites her lip and fuck you want to bite it for her - “your turn. First blow job?”

“I feel like it was the same as yours. I was so enthusiastic and so...lacking in refined technique. He actually grabbed me by the hair and was moving my mouth for me. Which, looking back, was not cool.” She pauses, thinking. “It was my junior year of high school after a football game, actually. My boyfriend wasn’t in band or on the football team but came to all of the games and we drove ourselves to home games, so yeah we were in my car making out and he just sort of...pushed my head down. I didn’t mind exactly - I mean. I wanted to make him feel good. I just. I don’t know.” You frown at her.

“That’s fucked up. You know that right?” She shrugs and you bend your head to meet her eyes. “That’s not okay that he did that. I don’t ever want to make you feel like that. That’s bullshit and I want you to call me on my bullshit, okay?” She nods and you smile. “Good. That’s what couples do.” She meets your eyes in surprise and you grin. “You are my girlfriend now, aren't you? I realize now I shouldn’t have assumed and I probably should have asked but, you are my girlfriend, right?”

She beams up at you and nods. “You’re my boyfriend.” And you can't stop smiling as you go to kiss her again.

“You’re damn right I am.”

Chapter 8 Part 2

[ventace]

So, for quite a while now, I’ve had the idea to put together mini playlists for each of the Fameblue gemlings created by @zawa-ro, but I actually finally forced myself to stop thinking about it, and actually get it done.

I’ve also made a bonus playlist for Adam. Even though he’s not Fameblue, he’s often associated with them, and there’s been tons of inquiries to zawa about the hypothetical scenario in which the Fameblue kids meet him, so...

Anyways, I’m rambling. This is gonna be a long post, since I’m also gonna be posting pictures, and detailing my reasons behind the songs I picked, so it’ll be under a cut.

First up, we have Amebeast. Before doing this list, I didn’t have too much of an idea as to what her personality was like, so I went and asked zawa about it. I was informed that Amebeast is the charismatic leader who protects others, and has lots of fun.

Armed with this knowledge, I went to find songs with implications of being a hero, or protecting others in some way, and included some that are high-energy and fun.

1. “The Awakening” - Onlap

2. “The Hero!!” - JAM Project

3. “Home” - Phillip Phillips

4. “Run With Us” - Lisa Lougheed

5. “Live to Rise” - Soundgarden

6. “Open Your Heart” - Crush 40

Next up, we have Big Blue Agate. She’s one of the main characters over at zawa’s blog, and most people who follow them know her. The second in Holly’s first litter, she is a master of fantastic facial expressions and not giving a fuck.

To reflect this, I armed her playlist with songs that showcase that attitude, but I also threw in two songs to describe her blossoming relationship with that charming citrine guard.

1. “Beez in the Trap” - Nicki Minaj

2. “Alright” - Supergrass

3. “Bad Reputation” - Joan Jett

4. “Motherfucker Got Fucked Up” - Folk Uke

5. “Accidentally in Love” - Counting Crows

6. “Paralyzer” - Finger Eleven

Moving on, we have Carnie. This gal strikes me as someone who likes to be front-and-center; she’s got confidence, and she’s never afraid to express it to anyone, much to her sisters’ chagrin sometimes.

Since that’s what I’m going off of, I filled Carnie’s playlist with songs that are all full of confidence and absolute fun, with one containing a reference to how she hopes she never has to deal with anything too bad.

1. “I’m Too Sexy” - Right Said Fred

2. “Fashionista” - Jimmy James

3. “Stayin’ Alive” - The Beegees

4. “Don’t Stop Me Now” - Queen

5. “The Impression That I Get” - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

6. “Scream” - Cee Lo Green

Next, we have everyone’s favorite spoiled brat, Light Amethyst! Now, we all know she’s spoiled, as I said, as well as crass and obnoxious, but there’s another facet to her that I explored for her playlist: her lonely side. zawa said Light has always been the loneliest of the Fameblue kids, so I decided to go with that facet (ha, unintentional pun) of her.

As such, her playlist is full of songs that set a somber, lonely tone. The last song provides some measure of happiness for her; is it directed at her mother? Her sisters? That adorable, bratty daughter of hers? Only Light can say for sure.

1. “Welcome to My Life” - Simple Plan

2. “I Need Some Sleep” - Eels

3. “Nobody Home” - Pink Floyd

4. “Have You Ever Seen the Rain?” - Creedence Clearwater Revival

5. “Heaven (Reincarnation Version)” - Shihoko Hirata

6. “Thank You” - Dido

Soft Jasper is up next, and she’s ready to rumble! She’s the luchador supreme, and she’s ready to defend her family with everything she’s got, so don’t you mess with her! But she’s also quite nice and sweet with her sisters, hence her name.

Since she’s so very much like a wrestler aesthetically, I threw a wrestler’s theme on here for her. Taking from the luchador element, I threw in a track from Rodrigo y Gabriela. Aside from that, I also put in a song that represents her love for her family, and one of the most inspirational tracks to ever come out of a sports movie.

A fun fact about this list is that it’s the only one with instrumental tracks on it! Also, for reference, Dyna Blade is a character from the Kirby franchise; she’s very protective of her family, hence why her theme from one of the games is on here.

1. “The Wall (Mark Henry’s Theme)” - Heet Mob

2. “Diablo Rojo” - Rodrigo y Gabriela

3. “Eye of the Tiger” - Survivor

4. “Dyna Blade” - Multiple Composers

5. “We Are Family” - Sister Sledge

6. “Water From the Moon” - David Lanz

Last up in the Fameblue lineup (but most certainly not least!) is the precious BB Agate! She’s the epitome of the word “sweetheart”, with tons of love and happiness that she just can’t resist spreading to everyone around her.

The songs on her playlist reflect that irresistible sweetness, containing some of the best tracks about loving others and cheering them up, and having fun with your pals, as well as just being happy about the world around her and being hopeful for the future.

1. “Lean On Me” - Bill Withers

2. “Bridge Over Troubled Water” - Simon & Garfunkel

3. “Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World” - Israel “Iz” Kamakiwo’ole

4. “Fix You” - Coldplay

5. “Heart of Life” - I Fight Dragons

6. “Raincloud Chill” - Brad Breeck

As promised, here’s the bonus Adam Blue DeMayo playlist! He seems like an honest, hardworking guy who enjoys the simple things in life, and loves his family with all of his heart.

His playlist is full of things concerning family, being happy, and enjoying some relaxation time while listening to the world around him. Since he’s often the target of much adoration due to his dapper outfits, I also threw in a song in reference to that!

1. “Simple Man” - Shinedown

2. “Working Man” - Rush

3. “Sharp Dressed Man” - ZZ Top

4. “My Hero” - Foo Fighters

5. “Happy” - Pharrell Williams

6. “Fat Old Sun” - Pink Floyd

And that about does it, folks! This was a real nice challenge to give myself, but it was fun, too (especially coming up with Carnie’s playlist). I hope people like all of these playlists! Have a nice day/afternoon/evening/night, y’all!

[fuckinsteverogers]

Peeping Tom

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Rating: 18+ Just assume all my fics are 18+ at this point.

Warnings: Naked, hot ass ladies. Voyeurism. Smut. Pussy Eating. 

Request:  I’m not sure if you do Natasha but could I request a Natasha smut where maybe the team don’t know they are a thing and like Tony walks in as Natasha is just about to go down on the Reader and he like freaks out and is like his dramatic self

Author’s Note: I am so not used to writing girl on girl, considering I’ve never done it, but I love Natasha. I read a lot of Natasha fics, and Scarlett is clearly gorgeous, so I hope you guys like it, especially the lovely anon that sent the request through!! I hope you enjoy, Honey. (Sorry for the overused gif)

Russian Translations:

Krasivaya devushka = Pretty girl. Otrod’ye = Brat. Bezumno krasivaya = Gorgeous.

“Stop fucking teasing,” You whine, shedding your torso of your t-shirt, looking at Natasha expectedly, but she doesn’t move from where she’s kneeling on the bed in only a silk robe and looking utterly breathtaking with her red curls tied to the back of her head, a smirk prominent on her lips.

“I don’t know what you mean, krasivaya devushka,” Natasha replies, pulling out all the stops to turn you into a puddle of arousal. You groan, annoyed with how long she has been keeping this up for, first the striptease and then the lap dance, and now this, sitting there, looking gorgeous and not even touching you.

“Tasha, please,” You whine, jutting out your bottom lip at her, annoyed that she doesn’t want you as much as you want her. You consider accusing her of not lusting after you, but you remember what happened the last time you assumed; ending with you crying and screaming into a pillow from your fifteenth orgasm of the night, her determination to show you otherwise was astounding.

Natasha clicks her tongue down at you, watching your hands twitch from where she’s commanded they stay, clenching and unclenching on your bare thighs, unable to touch yourself or this is over for tonight and you’ll have to endure a week without an orgasm again. 

So, you just sit there in a bra and panties and look at her, watch her as she watches you. Her green eyes flickering over your form as you arch your back, protruding your breasts outwards, knowing how much she likes them, and you swear you see her eyes darken slightly, but she doesn’t move, perfect control.

“I don’t know why you just won’t touch me,” You whine, rolling your eyes at her, ready to give up on this and just go raid Tony’s stash of expensive whisky; substituting an orgasm for an alcohol buzz.

“Because you haven’t earnt it, otrod'ye,” Natasha replies, smiling. You gape at the name, and while she doesn’t sound aggressive, you know that if you don’t shut up, then you won’t just be getting no orgasms for a week, you’ll also be punished.

“Tell me how to earn it, Tasha. I’ll do anything for you,” You ask tentatively, knowing your words are not wanted, but the admission seems to have the desired effect and the lust returns to her eyes.

“Underwear, off,” Natasha tells you, her sweet voice giving you goosebumps. You nod immediately, slipping your panties down your legs, spreading them for added effect, shivering at the cold air that hits your heat, and unclipping your bra, letting your breasts bounce as they are released from the bra.

You watch the clocks tick in Natasha’s head as she looks at your breasts eagerly, unashamed of her love for them, and you lean back on your elbows, spreading your legs wider for her.

“Bezumno krasivaya,” Natasha purrs and does the most surprising thing of the night, she moves; crawling up the bed, and when she gets to you, lying herself on your naked form, her hands moving up your sides to caress your breasts, pinching your nipples between her thumb and index fingers, all you can do is moan.

She smirks up at you as she leans down to take your left nipple between her teeth, rolling it; the pleasure is sent straight to your core, you can feel the wetness begin to drip down your ass, and you wonder if you can have an orgasm just from this as she sucks your pert nipple into her mouth, rolling her tongue across it.

“Natasha,” You moan, arching your back into her mouth. You lift your knees to encircle her hips and as she sucks eagerly on your nipple, you reach between her and pull the tie of her robe. She lets you remove it from her and you’re graced with her naked body pressing against yours, her breasts so incredibly beautiful that you can’t help but reach out and touch them.

She keens when you do, pulling from your left nipple to pay your right one a visit as you massage her breasts, her nipples cupped in your palms, feeling the heaviness of your girlfriend’s beautiful tits.

“I love your tits,” Natasha says crudely as she releases your nipple from her mouth, wet with saliva and hard enough to cut through glass. You grin down at her, your hands cupped full of her tits.

“You’re so sexy,” You tell her, releasing her right breast in favour of curling your hand around the back of her neck. She takes the hint and moves up your body, clearly eager to give you what you want. “Want you so bad, Tasha.”

“Want you too, sweetheart,” Natasha reveals uncharacteristically. She’s not very good at telling you how she feels, even in these kinds of vulnerable moments, but tonight seemed different, two lovers, two girlfriends in bed, two women who love each other, and she wants you just as much as you want her.

“Come ‘ere,” You purr, lifting your head to press your lips to hers. She tilts her head, moaning into the kiss, and you open your mouth for her, slipping your tongue against hers. She immediately takes dominance and guides your tongue to taste hers.

“Want to taste you,” She says after a while of kissing you and removes her mouth from yours.

“Thought you were,” Is all you say, smiling cheekily at her. She shakes her head, smirking up at you from where she’s crawled down between your legs.

“Want to taste your pussy,” Natasha admits and this time, she grins, rubbing a hand up your stomach in anticipation, feeling your soft skin. You can feel her breath on your core and it only turns you on more.

In a moment of defiance, you grip your breasts in your hands and tweak your nipples in between your fingers, staring down at the woman who has stolen your heart.

As her head dips to bury her face between your thighs, the door bursts open, light shining in from the living area and there, standing in the doorway is Tony Stark.

“What the fuck!” Tony yells, eyes wide at the sight in front of him. You’re attempting to cover yourself with your hands while Natasha sits up, not moving to cover herself, just glaring at Tony.

“Knock much?” You squeal, clenching your legs together in frustration, not only because Tony is looking at you both with his fucking eyes, but also because you were about to get eaten out by your smoking hot girlfriend and Tony motherfucking Stark just interrupted that.

“The door didn’t exactly have a sign saying, ‘Do not disturb, I’m fucking my co-worker’,” Tony replies, a slight panic in his voice, but he makes no move to leave which you can see on Natasha’s face that it infuriates her, mostly because his eyes are on you and your body and no one looks at Natasha Romanoff’s girlfriend without getting the shit beaten out of them.

“Leave,” You yell, seeing as Natasha has gone mute. Tony’s eyes clear and a smirk moves to play on his lips.

“You know, Y/N, I did not see you playing for the other team,” Tony teases. With that you move to get up, ready to kick his ass even if you had to do it naked, but Natasha isn’t having any of it. She moves off the bed and goes straight for Tony, who doesn’t take his eyes of you.

You watch your girlfriend take Tony’s collar in her hand, bunch it up, look him straight in the eyes and drag him out of the doorway into the living area. You scramble to grab the robe Natasha had been wearing, put it on, and run after them.

You get there just in time to see Natasha open your door that leads directly to the common room. You couldn’t help but think that her ass looks fantastic when she’s dragging a man that weighs twice her body weight. 

It occurs to you that she is about to step into the common room which probably has everyone in it completely naked. You race after her, grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and run for her.

You get there in time to see everyone gawking faces as a naked Natasha Romanoff throws a grinning Tony Stark to the floor.

“This is so much better than a strip club,” Tony yells. You make it to Natasha just as she is about to lean down and punch him in the dick. You quickly wrap her in the blanket, pulling your girlfriend to your body, slowly backing up into your room. “So are you ladies just fucking or are you making sweet, sweet love?”

“Why don’t you go back to sucking Bucky’s dick, Tony!” You growl back at him, shooting a look of knowing at him. You watch his pale skin flush a deep red and you know your best-kept secret is now out there, so his should be too.

You hear Bucky’s laugh as you slam your door shut and lock it for good measure, you know Bucky has pride in Tony and his escapades and you wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t.

“You should have let me kill him,” Natasha growls, throwing the blanket off of herself, marching towards the bedroom. 

Watching her retreating figure, an anger grows inside you.

You move towards the door of your room and tear it open, caught with the sight of Tony, standing in front of the rest of the Avengers who are all protesting in one way or another, telling them about the shape of your breasts.

“Why the hell did you come into my room uninvited?” You demand, walking across the cold floor towards a wide-eyed Tony Stark who has halted his sentence about your pleasure face. He smirks finally and shrugs his shoulders, looking at the appalled faces of your teammates, all probably as annoyed with his callousness as you are.

“I knew you were fucking someone. I wanted to know who,” Tony shrugs again, pushing his hands into his pockets, and begins to rock back and forth on his heels.

You place your hands on your hips and move closer to him; a looming, intimidating figure. 

“Why not just consult the hundreds of cameras you have around the tower?” You growl, thoroughly annoyed because of his actions, your sexual frustration, and how he has upset your girlfriend.

Tony just smirks, he pulls his hands from his pockets and waves them around his face like usual.

“I have a flair for the dramatics,” Tony admits, smirking over at you. You maintain that you’ll be mad at him until he earns your trust back, and that’s going to take a substantial amount of begging.

“If you enter my room again without so much as F.R.I.D.A.Y. issuing me a warning, then I will chop your dick off and sell it on eBay to the highest bidder,” You warn, giving him the stare that means you mean business. Tony doesn’t falter, he just smirks at you with the same eyes that he did when you were naked.

“Don’t worry, doll. I’ll teach him a lesson later tonight,” Bucky perks up, crossing his legs and smirking up at Tony who turns bright, beetroot red. You smirk at Bucky and move to give him a fist bump which he returns eagerly.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go give my angry girlfriend the best orgasm of her life,” You finish, walking towards your bedroom door. Tony gasps as you step over the threshold.

“Can I watch?” He yells, grinning.

You just slam your door and click the lock into place.

Permanent Tags

yoursupernatural   |   @niallandsebastianaremylife   |   @lxdyred   |   @geeksareunique

[clevernewdimension]

Unearthly Delights Part One

Parts: Preview, One, Two (Coming soon!)

Genre: Drama, Action (?), Romance, Supernatural Creatures and Monsters AU

Pairing: ???

Word Count: 6.1K

A/N: AYYYYYY! Enjoy! I gave her a name because I just wanted to... also because I wish that was my name.

New cities are always scary, but that’s the thrilling part of it. New York, a place for my newest new start. I’ve left Chicago behind, it just didn’t feel right. I was there for a year. It was fine, but I definitely liked Austin more than it, though. If the big apple doesn’t work out, I’ll probably just go back to Texas. I just can’t stand most of the people in that goddamned state, though.

I chose New York because I just want to get lost in it. For a few months or forever, I couldn’t tell you. The sights, the sounds, the people... it’s all so all ostentatious in a way. The city that never sleeps. There’s so much to do and explore. You can stand out one moment or be just another face in the crowd the next. It’s also hard to find a place for yourself in such a populated place. I suppose it’s a good thing I have some contacts here already. A few friends of mine who know people. One of my friends, an heir I managed to impress by my usual job, is letting me stay in his penthouse apartment. He comes and goes to New York a few times a year, and he hates hotels, so he just bought a fancy fucking place to stay.  It’s huge, the top three floors of some damn skyscraper, with a view into central park. Told me I didn’t have to worry about anything but my groceries. After all the money he’s won betting on me, I think it’s well earned.

Which is great, because I’m hurting for money. If there was ever a constant in my life, it was my small bank account. I’ve never been the kind to have a lot of money. I end up losing it all. Most of the time from helping the few friends I’ve made. That’s how you keep friends when you’re in the world of illegal doings. When they need money help, you help them. If not, it can bite you in the ass, and not in a fun sexy way, either. Thankfully, my boss from my last job set me up with his penthouse and a job here through a friend. A nightclub called ‘Unearthly Delights’ are looking for someone to act as muscle. Apparently, after telling his friend that I’d sometimes like to street fight for fun, they said yes. My previous boss did tell me that they are strange, which could only mean one thing.

They’re not human.

I’ve known about creatures that go bump in the night for a long time now. When I was five, I witnessed my mother getting bitten by a vampire. After, he handed her some money and that was that. When I looked at her neck, there was barely a scar. You had to look really close to see the two puncture marks. When confronted about it, she just told me that if you need money, you’ll do anything.

Which is true, because I have. I’ve never let a vampire bite me, though I wouldn’t say no if the money or favor was worth it. I’ve never seen another vampire since. At least, to my knowledge. However, my mother’s words rang true. I’d do almost anything for money. I have done illegal street fighting, fucked some people, worked as someone who collected blackmail money… needless to say I was use to dark dealings. It’s not like I’d say no, either. I’m sure eating warm blood is better than those cold bags, it’s just never came up. One bite, a little lick to the neck and it’s like you’ve never been bitten in the first place. After all, vampire saliva is the reason why after so much fighting I’m not covered in scars. Vampires get desperate for money, too, and will sell their spit to these fight rings for money. I’m not sure exactly how it works, but that’s not really my business.

I cross the street, seeing the club. The purple neon sign on and shining as the day started to dwindle into night. It was still daylight, so it’s unopened, but this is when I was instructed to come by. I’ve done some research about this place before coming. Rumors in the bad parts of the city say that they’re not above doing dark dealings, either. Drugs, sex, illegal gambling nights sometimes, it all sounded like it was right up my alley.

I also asked around about the staff. There were some humans who worked there, but they’re not who I particularly care about. Two werewolves are also the muscle. They’re strong, a lot stronger than they look, according to people. I’d believe it, as I’ve seen a werewolf rip the roof of a car open once. There’s also a vampire who likes to bartend, making drinks for both human and supernatural clientele. People have told me he’s charming, quiet and observing. They’ve said he looks sort of catlike, too, and that he can even be adorable. A merman runs the place and keep everything in order, who is also the owner. Must be hard living in a city that rains constantly, I imagine. A fae makes food, both human and fae. Apparently, he’s also into hallucinogens and getting people blissfully high. Two sirens who will sing and perform, to draw in larger crowds with their hypnotizing melodies. People talk about how lovely their voices are, even for sirens. Hell, even the straight men I talked to said that their irresistible. The other two members of the staff are pretty much prostitutes. Both by choice, apparently. The person who told me acted as if it was such a scandal and to see my shocked face. I’ve been there and done that, sold my body. From fucking for one grand in cash to giving a blowjob to a man for a pack of gum, I don’t care so long as it’s a fair trade in my mind. What’s interesting is what they are, though. One is an Incubus, who gives people some of the best sex of their lives in order to feed on their sexual energy. He doesn’t devour their souls or anything, that’s largely a myth. They just need to fuck people in order to stay alive, is all. Eating souls is a choice. The other was a shapeshifter, who could be anyone a person wanted for their fantasy. Sounds weird, but apparently people really love the idea that they could either make love to their favorite celebrity or hate fuck and ex without actually have to see them.

Which was why I was curious as to why they wanted to employ a human. Sure, I’m strong. I’m very toned and I know how to fight, but my strength is nothing compared to the werewolves they have. I don’t want to be a burden just because my friend spoke to this guy. I don’t need charity, and if that is what this looks like to me, I’ll walk out and look for more jobs.

Hearing a loud car horn from the street, I knock on the back door, just the the owner and manager, Junmyeon, instructed me. The door open, and a man smiles. “Come in, come in! Avelyna Vass, right?”

He was short for a man, but taller than me by at least four or five inches. His hair was ink blue, just like his eyes. So this is the merman. He looks good, in a black shirt and jeans with a clipboard in one hand. I nod, reaching forward with my right hand. “Just Ava, though.”

“Right,” Junmyeon says as he shakes my hand. He moves to the side, “Taemin said that you prefer your nickname. Sorry, It’s a bit hectic right now.”

“I understand,” I say, following him, “So, how do you know Taemin?”

“He’s a friend, but also like Jongin’s brother,” He explains, as we enter. The club was bright, and everything dark. The dance floor looked odd bare as someone was washing dishes. The sun was starting to go down, so the vampire would probably be here soon. He looks over the list, sighing. “Alright, Ava, I’m sure you already know about all of us, since Taemin said you’d ask around before you stepfoot in here.”

“Motherfucker knows me too well,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. It didn’t take long for him to see straight through me. The handsome fae was very charming and loved to hear me drunk talk. I’m sure he’s heard a lot from me I’d rather no one know.

This just makes Junmyeon smile, “We have a few humans on staff. Some as waitresses, one to help Yixing in the kitchen, some in the VIP section for feeding, so it won’t just be you. In total we have three who work everyday we’re open and the ones who are for feeding are a pool of people we call. Sort of freelancing, in a way.”

I nod, following him as he stops us by one of the tables to the side. I sit down on the booth, him on the other side. “That’s nice to know,” I reply.

“However, you see, our other security members are werewolves, and will sometimes underestimate their strength. Humans have been hurt because of this, so I’d rather just hire a human to oversee humans and they stick to the unnatural beings,” Junmyeon explains, looking up at my and lacing his fingers together. He rests his chin on his hands, smiling. “Which is why I’d like to hire you. Taemin’s already sent your information. He trusts you, so I do. There won’t be many humans you’ll have to oversee. They only make up 40% of the people who come.”

“How do you know that,” I ask, hearing people all around preparing for the night. It was a nice club. A chandelier hung over the seating area and booths. The bar was fairly long, with neon lights hidden carefully under the table part of the bar, making it pop with color. The floor was black, until you go to the dancefloor, which had light up panels that were currently off. I’ve been to a fair amount of club in order to recognise them by now.

“We have wristbands that are mandatory people wear. Blue, for the supernatural beings who can drink, green for humans who can drink. Yellow for supernatural beings who are underage, which is really rare, red for humans underage,” Junmyeon explains, “So it will be easily identifiable for you.”

I nod, “Alright. How is the pay?”

Junmyeon takes the clipboard, pushing it in front of me. “Because we make a lot of money through things that are not agreeable with the law, you’re paid a grand a night you work. This is essentially to insure discretion.”

My eyes went wide as I looked over the paper. “And we get benefits too? Holy shit.”

“That’s the wage for you because you’re probably going to end up with a few humans who want to punch you. Waitresses make six hundred plus tips, same as Yixing’s assistant. The people who get fed on make the same as you, but they only work one or two nights every work week. Mondays and Tuesdays we’re closed, sometimes wednesdays too.” Junmyeon explains, smiling. “Taemin said you wouldn’t have a problem with the under the table dealings we do. In fact I think he kindly referred to you as a ‘sin magnet’.”

“Sure don’t,” I say, smiling. I could practically hear Taemin’s voice, he called me that all the time. “Where do I sign and when do I start?”

“Here,” Junmyeon says, pointing to the paper, “And tonight, if possible. Luckily it’s a Sunday, so you can get use to the work here and get acquainted.”

I hear the back door open, and soon someone walks in, stretching and looking around. His hair was blonde, his eyes a nice warm brown as he glanced at me. He was beautiful. Long and lean, pretty model like. There was an air of unattainability about him. “Hiring another human, Jun?”

Junmyeon smiles, nodding. His eyes held a very fond look to them. “This is Sehun. Sehun, meet Ava.”

Sehun looks me up and down, shrugging, “You’re prettier than the last one, that’s for sure.”

“I’m sure she was pretty,” I say shrugging.

“Not really,” Sehun says, as his skin starts to move. His tall form shrinking, broad shoulders becoming smaller as he smiles, now looking like a short woman. “She had the face like a pug, and an attitude problem,” He says, in his own voice. Her face looked too small for her head as he tilts it to the left. “Her voice was also like nails on a chalkboard,” He says, this time in what I could only assume was her voice. Then, as quick as he changed, he morphed back into the way he looked before.

“As you can see,” Junmyeon says, holding a hand out and gesturing to Sehun, “He’s the shapeshifter.”

“Before you ask,” Sehun says, crossing his arms, “Yes, this is how I naturally looked before. The only thing I like to change about myself is the hair color and the eyes from time to time.”

“I wasn’t going to ask, since it’s none of my damn business,” I say, shrugging.

Sehun looks at Junmyeon, pointing at me, “I like this little human. Hire her.”

“She already is,” Junmyeon says, holding out his hand.

I smile, shaking as I mutter, “Little human?” His hand was cooler than I would have thought, though I suppose that was because he was a… well, fish out of water, I suppose.

“You’re small. And younger than Sehun is. He probably has a decade on you, at least,” Junmyeon says, shrugging. “He’s also the youngest of us all, too.”

“I wasn’t aware I was going to be working with antiques,” I say, stretching as we stood. “There a uniform I should wear or…?”

“Another smartass? Great.” Junmyeon rolled his eyes as he smiled, “We’re all older than we look. The Werewolves are only a few years older than Sehun. Minseok is the oldest, which isn’t hard to believe since he’s a vampire.” He explains, “You can wear what you’re wearing tonight. The dress code is all black. We’ll give you a shirt that says security on it and a jacket too, in case you have to go outside. Getting cold lately.”

“Dress code sounds exactly like my entire wardrobe. Cool,” I say, nodding. “What about you? You don’t look old.”

“I’m reaching my late forties. Still really young, when compared to Minseok and Yixing.”

“Someone say my name,” A new voice says.

I turn, seeing a smaller man behind the counter, his chin resting on his palm as he watched us in fascination. He looked good, his cat like eyes lined with black eyeliner and a smirk on his face. He was calm, watching us and looking at me with fascination. I could only assume this was thee vampire I heard about.

“Minseok,” Junmyeon says, smiling. “Glad you got here safe. This is-”

“Ava Vass,” Minseok says, smirking. “I’ve been here for a while. Overheard everything.”

Junmyeon rolls his eyes, “Can you please not silently sneak in all the time?”

“That wouldn’t be fun,” Minseok says with a grin, looking at me. “Shame I already ate. You look tasty.”

“Good hygiene, I guess,” I say, walking over. I smirk, sticking out my hand to shake, “Nice to meet you, old man.”

Minseok frowned, making himself look cute. He quickly shakes my hand before he started to organise the bar. “Don’t call me old man,” he mutters, “I don’t even look 30.”

“I was going to go with ancient,” I say back, smiling as I take a seat at the bar. “Probably more accurate.”

“I’ll find everyone and get them to come out and meet you,” Junmyeon says, walking into the kitchen.

“Getting our sweet fae from the kitchen will be hard,” Minseok says, filling a glass with some ice. “He’s been a mess thinking he’s behind on making breads and things when really he’s far ahead.” He fills the glass with water from the soda gun. He places it in front of me.

“Thanks,” I say, taking a sip. “So, tasty, hm?”

Minseok raises an eyebrow, still working. “Most humans are squeamish when I say something like that. Even after all these years it’s still fun watching them get flustered and even a little scared.”

“I don’t really care,” I say, “As long as you wouldn’t kill me, I’m down. Granted you’d owe me a favor. Or money.”

“I might take you up on that offer,” He says smiling, messing with glasses, making sure they’re all straight. “You smell like Chai tea with a hint of vanilla. I’ll have to tell Chanyeol and Kyungsoo to make sure none of our vampire patrons don’t get a bite out of you.”

“I’d appreciate that a lot,” I say, nodding. I just smirk, thinking of my next words carefully. “I’d like to have a say in who eats me.”

I could see him pause, taking a moment to think about what it is I just said. He glances up, his silver eyes stood out with the black lined around them. Minseok smirks, glancing up, “Well, that’s one way to put it.”

“And yet, works for both possible ways,” I say with a smirk back.

The door opens behind them and Junmyeon is followed by a man who has black hair and green eyes. They looked like they glittered with gold when the light hit them just right. His ears were the tiniest bit pointed on the end and he smiles. Walking forward, he extends his hand, “Yixing.” The voice was as if you put the sounds of nature into it. Birds singing, waterfalls and the sound of a light breeze in a field of grass all in one.

“Ava Vass,” I say, shaking it. I smile at him, looking at him closer. He had some flour on his apron, and a bit smudged on his face.

Under the apron he wore a dark green shirt and black jeans.. He wore a necklace, a gem wrapped in metal. There was a flower behind his ear, which was light purple. As I pulled my hand away, I noticed a trace of gold glitter on my skin.

“Sorry,” Yixing says, smiling. He puts his hand behind his neck, a bit of pink coming to his cheeks. “Sometimes I forget to not do that...”

“It’s ok,” I say, wiping my hand on my jeans, “It’s just glitter.”

“New meat,” I hear a voice say, as someone stands next to me. He smiles, looking long and lanky. He seemed like a goofball, with a huge smile. His hair was brown, and his eyes looked light and full of kindness. The one behind him had black hair and was significantly shorter, but looked stronger of the two. He stayed back, looking over me like he was sizing me up for a fight. I could tell he was protective of his friends already.

“That’s Chanyeol,” Minseok says. He then points to someone else, walking up, “And that’s Kyungsoo. Both werewolves.”

“So you’re the one they brought in to deal with the mundanes, huh,” Chanyeol asks, looking at me. He nods, “She looks tough.”

Junmyeon nods, “Taemin told me she was in a fighting ring not long ago. Was the reigning champion for months until she left for the ‘Big Apple’.”

“That’s cool,” Chanyeol says, as he follows Kyungsoo to get ready for their job. “We’ll talk later.”

“Unfortunately, you’ll have to meet Baekhyun and Jongdae some other time. They’re not singing tonight,” Junmyeon says, looking around. “The last one should be here soon. He and Sehun usually the first ones to show…”

As if the timing was perfect, the door opens and a tall man come in, unzipping his jacket from around him. His hair was dyed silver, and he was shrugging off his jacket. “Sehun here yet or what?”

His eyes glance at me, his usually brown eyes turning a warm, golden honey color. He smiles, holding out his hand. I felt myself being drawn in by him. It was like my body just wanted to mold itself around him. I couldn’t look away as my fingers started to shake. I could feel the lust growing in me. He just smiles, “I’m Jongin.”

Junmyeon swats him upside the head, making his eyes go back to brown. The feelings fade as I lean back, feeling like I could breathe again, like the thick cloud that was around me was gone.

“She’s a co-worker, not someone here early for you,” Junmyeon says, scolding him. The man just smiles, this time it was cute and shy. “Please don’t seduce her when she’s about to work. Do that on your own time, please.”

He laughs, before looking at me again, his eyes staying brown this time. He hold out a hand, “Sorry. Normally when someone is here early, they’re here for either me or Sehun. I just assumed.”

I take his hand in mine, giving it a shake. “No problem.” Granted, even without the magic effect on me, he’s still very handsome. Even if he wasn’t an Incubus, something tells me he could just as easily do the job he has. The black shirt was tight, his pants even tighter. I couldn’t help but notice, after all, it’s fine if you just look. Though I have a feeling he wouldn’t mind if I touched too.

He flashes me another smile, “It’ll be nice to work with you…?”

“Ava,” I say, nodding.

“Ava,” He says, nodding. “Nice to meet you. Sorry again about the whole seducing you thing.”

Junmyeon sighs, “I suppose it is my fault, I should have told you.”

Jongin just shrugs, “Probably, but oh well.” He looks over my shoulder, rolling his eyes. “Is that really necessary?”

I turn, looking at a copy of myself. I blink, before remembering that a shapeshifter worked here too. I frown, looking over my own face. “I didn’t realize the scar on my eyebrow looked like that.”

The copy of me frowns, “Well, you’re no fun.” The voice was deep and calm, before the form shifts It was hard to describe as I watch the copy of me grow a foot taller and change everything. The person who look at me now was handsome and familiar. Blonde hair and brown eyes looking at me. Sehun crossed his arms, “That usually gets a reaction out of people, even if they know I’m one.”

I just shrug, not really knowing what to say to that.

“Did you really come from the kitchen entrance just to do this,” Jongin questions, walking over to him.

“Well, I was already here and met Ava. I just thought it would be fun but I didn’t exactly get the reaction I wanted,” Sehun says, rolling his eyes. He looks at Jongin, “Are you packed full tonight are is there open for walkins too?”

“You know me, I don't like to have too many scheduled in,” Jongin says with a smile. He glances at me, “It just takes away from the sensual mood. Sex is best when it’s spontaneous and full of passion.” He winks, before looking at Sehun.

“Right,” I say, turning towards them, “So, what was the weirdest thing someone has asked you both for?”

Minseok laughs from behind the counter, “Just all in already, huh?”

I smile at him, “I don’t care much to take my time with anything.”

Sehun stops, thinking for a moment, “Well, the amount of times people have asked me to look like Jongin and have us kiss or fuck each other is surprisingly high.”

“Which I think it’s technically masterbation,” Minseok says.

Sehun scoffs, “Excuse you, I’m my own person.”

“Well, we definitely have hard limits,” Jongin says, leaning against the bar.

“Like no piss and shit. That’s just gross,” Sehun says with a shudder.

“And no one pretending to be like a baby or an animal,” Jongin adds. “But really we’re open to a lot. Hell, some nights we have just a huge-”

“I’m sure she’ll see,” Minseok says, cutting him off. “But the most important thing is that they go by nicknames when doing business. For legal reasons. Jongin is Kai and Sehun is Sin?”

I chuckle, looking at Sehun, “Sin? Really? Could you be anymore cliche?”

“I’ll have you know I didn’t pick it,” Sehun says, elbowing Jongin. “You have I have to go get set up, anyways.”

I smile, watching them both turn and leave for the stairs. For the next few minutes, I made conversation with Minseok and drank water. Soon, though, the huge lights were turned off and the dancefloor lights came on. The music started to thump and the bass was loud. Junmyeon game me one of Kyungsoo’s spare security jackets. I rolled the sleeves up, tightening my ponytail and getting ready. Chanyeol was the bouncer, letting people in if they’re allowed. There are some people banned who try to get in, apparently. Junmyeon told me not to worry, that I could learn the list of banned people after today.

Overall my first night is fine. Had to break up people who wanted to start fights. One man even tried to punch me and was sorry for it. After my subduing him, he was kicked out. Junmyeon even mentioned about adding him to the list, too. Apparently he was a troublemaker. Most people respected me and what I said once they knew I was security. Some of the clubs regulars commented on the fact they were happy to see a new face.

Everything was going smoothly. Junmyeon was bouncing around, making sure everyone was doing fine. Minseok was making drinks and chatting with all the people at the bar. He was quick when making them. He’d have to be, since he was the only one behind the bar. Every once in awhile I’ll see Yixing come up front and stand beside him, delivering food, but most of the time he stayed in the back. I didn’t see much of Chanyeol, but I saw Kyungsoo often. Apparently supernatural creatures loved to argue. He had his hands full, and didn’t mind carrying someone out if he had to.

From the VIP area I’d see vampires coming down, blotting blood from their lips or someone happily holding a baggie of small colorful pills and sharing them with their friends. What I saw the most was people go up there, be there for a while before coming down, their hair in a mess and a huge grin on their faces. It was like they were drunk. I could definitely tell the difference between the people Jongin saw and the people Sehun saw. Not to say the people who were fucking Sehun didn’t seem satisfied. They did, and would brag to their friends about fucking their celeb crush or showing Sehun a picture of their university professor for some sexy memories.

The people who were with Jongin looked like they just left the universe. It was like they’ve lost their minds, barely able to speak. Drunk on lust couldn’t even begin to describe the way they acted. I was escorting one of the women outside as she was babbling incoherently. I just laughed, walking back in. Jongin and Sehun were looking over the railings as I walked in. Sehun’s eyes changed to green as they both wave to me.

I hop us the stairs, looking at them, “Yes?”

“Thank you for making sure she got to her uber safely,” Jongin says, “Was worried about her.”

Sehun leans against him, “Sometimes the incubus effect makes people into just walking pudding. Effects people differently.”

“Some people can resits stronger, hm,” I ask, my eyes watching the crowd carefully.

“That’s true,” Sehun says with a smile. “Oh, there’s our next appointment! A regular.”

My eyes follow his finger, seeing a blonde middle aged woman. “So, what’s she into?”

“Voyeurism,” Jongin says, looking at Sehun. “Are you fuck me today or…?”

“I want to lay back and be lazy,” Sehun says, “My neck hurts and I think my leg is going to cramp.”

“You both are really making the sex sound super great,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Oh it will be,” Sehun assures, “I’m fully expecting to be given the full incubus treatment. I want to be a mindless mess too. It seems like so much fun.”

“You got it,” Jongin says, his eyes flashing a warm yellow.

Sehun tenses, shivering as Jongin looked at him.

“I’m going to actually do my job now,” I yell over the music, “Have fun! Think of me!”

“Thanks for the permission,” Sehun says, nodding down at their regular who started to scurry up the stairs. She was cute. Glasses and her hair in a bun. She looked like she had an office job that was probably stressful and a boss who was an ass. I couldn’t help but notice the wedding ring on her finger as she passed, but that’s not really my business.

As the night was turning into early morning, the last call was announced. There was a  drunk man at the bar, demanding more shots. Minseok’s eyes were glowing bright red with anger when I arrived. I managed to shove my way to him, spying the green wristband. “Hey, last call, man. If you want more booze you gotta find somewhere else to get it.” I say, moving my hand to his shoulder.

Before I could blink I felt a sharp pain on my face. His fist connected with my face, causing me to take a step back.

“No one asked you, bitch,” He slurs, slamming his glass down on the bar.

I glare at him, scowling. “Wrong answer,” I growl, before my fist hits him exactly where he hit me, causing him to stumble back into the bar. I grab his arm, pulling him and holding it painfully behind his back. It was easy, since he was completely trashed. “You’ve been cut off. Find somewhere else, asshole.”

Pushing him out the door and slamming it shut was extremely satisfying. I turned, moving back to the center of the people still around. My face hurting a bit where he hit me, but not enough to really hurt. The drinks imparing his real strength, apparently. Half an hour later, Junmyeon was guiding people out the door. The party lights go off and the normal ones on as the music turned off. It was nice, being able to hear my thoughts as a cleaning crew started on their duties. Apparently they were just contracted workers who go and clean multiple places, so not really part of the staff here. After a few minutes, the last one to leave was the woman who went up with Sehun and Jongin. Her hair a mess and her face red. She was just embarrassed as she left, not meeting my eyes.

Chanyeol stepped in before the door closed, locking it behind him. Junmyeon smiles, “Well done everyone. See you Wednesday.” He stops me, handing me a small paper. “I already had your first paycheck put into your account. This is just confirmation.”

“Sweet,” I say with a smile, “No living off just spagetti-o’s for me.”

Kyungsoo smiles, “Come on, let’s get some ice for your face. Hopefully it won’t bruise too badly.”

I shrug, moving to sit at the bar while he goes back into the kitchen.

Minseok takes twelve shot glasses, filling them with some tequila. He looks up, “Sort of a tradition. Last night of the work week we have a shot.”

“Well give it here, I won’t say not to free liquor,” I say, watching as Kyungsoo brought the bag of ice along with Yixing and his assistant. The assistant was a woman wearing glasses, looking exhausted. Her black hair was but in a tight bun. She didn’t look like the type to play around. I hiss as I place the ice to my face. I didn’t want it to be too bad, so I’ll just suffer through it. The three waitresses gathering, each removing their heels and sitting at a stool. They were talking about handsome regulars and comparing tips.

One of the waitresses had ginger hair, as she slides me a twenty, “Not much, but to say thanks. That man at the bar had already scared me a few times. He even tried to hit me tonight too.”

I shrug, pushing it back, “Need no thanks for that other that the fact I got to hit him. He seemed like a piece of shit.”

She smiles, “I’m Ariel, and yes, I know that’s funny because of the hair. My mother thinks it’s hilarious.”

“Ava,” I say, offering my hand as she shakes it. She points to the other two women, “This is Shannon and Jes.”

I look over. Shannon had long brown hair that she had up, a smile on her face. She looked adorable, like a little doll. She was pale as well, which added to the doll look. Jes had dark skin that was lovely, her hair in a springy afro. She waved, “Nice to meet you, Ava. I feel safer already.”

“Well, I do love a job where I get to knock some heads,” I say, as I hear two people stomping down the stairs. I turn, seeing Sehun and Jongin walking down. Both with wet hair, and with love bites peeking out the collars of their shirts.

“I love a quick shower after work,” Sehun says as he takes a seat.

Jongin nods over at Junmyeon, “That’s for adding those upstairs, by the way. Nice for cleaning off all the sweat.”

“And yet, you still smell,” Jes says with a smirk.

Jongin pushes her lightly, making her laugh as they both reach for their shots.

Minseok held his out, “Another successful week!”

“And to the newest member of the staff,” Ariel says out loud, “Shame she got decked first thing, though.”

“Ya’ll are too sentimental,” I says, quickly throwing my shot back. The burn was so nice after tonight. I slam the glass back down, smiling and stretching. “Now to get some junky fast food and crash!”

Shannon looks at Junmyeon, smiling, “All of the weed he had is gone. Same with the ecstasy. Still have some of the fae drugs, but not much.”

“I’ll make sure we have more of that, then,” Junmyeon says after taking his shot, grimacing. “I hate tequila.”

“That’s because you take shots like a bitch,” Chanyeol says with a laugh.

Junmyeon rolls his eyes, before looking at me, “Before you leave, we’ll need to know how to contact you just in case.”

“Anyone got a pen,” I ask, looking to the waitresses.

Jes quickly hands me hers. I smile, “Thank you, babe.”

She smiles, leaning against Shannon. “I like you. Not stuck up or an idiot.”

I laugh, before grabbing Junmyeon’s hand and quickly writing my cell number down. “You know if you wanted my number you just had to ask,” I say, winking. “No need to make up a reason.”

Junmyeon’s cheeks go a tiny bit red, “Trust me, if I was hitting on you, you’d know.”

“Mostly because he’s an awful flirt,” Minseok says, smiling as he looks at the owner.

“Cheers to that,” Jongin says, holding up his empty shot glass.

I just smile, folding the pay stub in half and zipping up my jacket. “Well, It's been real, but I’m long over due some sleep.”

“Sleep tight,” Minseok says with a smile, waving.

The goodbyes came quickly as I turned, walked out the door and exited the club. The neon was now being turned off as I walked briskly to the subway station. The chilly air biting as I sat and waited in a fairly empty station. Tonight was great, and the work is cool. Some ass holes, but for the most part people listened and paid attention.

Once I got to the penthouse, I quickly unlocked the door and walked in, remembering to type in the security code. I stretch, taking off my jacket and throwing it on the couch. I didn’t even bother changing, quickly stripping my pants and taking my bra off without removing the shirt. I hopped into the comfy mattress, turning and pulling the blanket up.

Unearthly Delights seemed like the kind of place I would be a regular at if I didn’t work there. Lots of drinks and loose morals. I snuggle into the pillow, letting sleep overtake me as I dreamed of what could possibly happen to me in the biggest city in the country.

[zoebechtle-blog]

Unlikely Chapter 1

I will be the first person to tell you - there was nothing about this relationship that made sense. On paper, we were painfully dissimilar: him, a sexy, successful Irish popstar wanted by half the world, and me, an American werewolf living in London. Well, not quite a werewolf, but it took monthly waxings to keep my Greek heritage off my upper lip. I barely topped out at 5’2” on a good shoe day, and leaned more towards the plump end of the body shape spectrum. My grandmother often spoke of my child bearing hips and tried to convince me that men liked a big ass and full boobs. She had yet to be proven right. Meanwhile, his chicken legs looked like they could barely support him. He binged watched ESPN and Golf Channel, and I had zero hand/eye coordination (the fact that I played soccer in high school was a fluke - there were no cuts). Before I met him I barely even knew what a melody was and had forgotten everything I had learned in elementary school music classes. He played the guitar like he was born with it, and pulled notes out of the air to make music that made my heart ache. As I said, nothing about us made sense.

I’d moved to the UK to attend grad school four years ago, and ended up staying. After spending my first year year here alone, and going on what can only be described as a series of tragic dates with men I’d met online, I was lonely and seemingly incapable of making friends. In an act of desperation, I texted my godmother’s niece, Hannah. The one and only time I'd met her we were six. She had told me that my hair cut made me look like a boy and I tripped her going up the stairs. It definitely was not love at first sight. I’d come to London with the number programmed into my phone, but determined not to contact the now-grown mean girl. However, desperate times...

It turned out that Hannah had actually grown up quite kick ass. She did something in the financial sector I could not begin to explain, but she was funny, charming, and when drunk could belch the alphabet. Given that my previous 52 Saturday nights had been filled with Netflix and listening to my neighbors fight or fuck, I latched on quickly. Over the course of the next few years I became friends with her crowd of friends, and a few people I befriended came into the mix. It was a small but lovely urban family, and for the most part we all accepted one another for who we were. I barely missed getting laid so good that my head pounded into a headboard while screaming out for God. Barely.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hannah was obsessed. Seriously. I was ready to brain her. The girl had finally swiped right and found a guy she was really into. For weeks we heard about him ad nauseum - Willie was Irish, worked at a firm four doors down from her in The City, and seemed like an all around decent chap. Being bitter, I naturally hated him before I met him. The nail in his coffin came the night Hannah casually brought up his roommate, and how she thought I’d like him. Nope. Not the dreaded friend fix up.

“Stop it right now. You know that’s a hard no.” I flung a piece of baby corn at her out of my stir fry to accentuate my point.

“C’mon. He’s proper cute, and is laddy without being a lad.”

“Yeah, because everything about me screams that I’m the lad type.”

“It’s not like a new type would kill you. There are only so many men in London who live in their mother’s basements with cats.”

“Never going to let me live that down, are ya?”

“Nope. Come on. He’s a musician and he’s hilarious. I met him at their house the other night. I think you two would get on. So does Willie.”

“Willie hasn’t met me. How does he have any idea who I’d get along with?”

“Obviously he’s heard all about you and the rest of the gang and seen pics on my Insta.”

I went back to my dinner frowning. It’s not that I didn’t want to meet guys, it’s that I was scared to meet them. Undoubtedly I would say something weird or awkward, or give out far more information than they ever wanted to know. A few dudes had piqued my interest over the years, but no one that I liked ever really liked me, and vice versa. A lot of mediocre to decent sex had been had (I’m not angel - momma knows what she likes), but that whole happily ever after thing didn’t seem like reality. At 27, I resigned myself to possibly getting a hamster (allergic to cats and who wants to walk a dog in London?) and embracing my spinsterhood.

This conversation and my lack of game stayed in the back of my mind for the next few days. Hannah was right about needing a change in my scenery. Especially since the failed date with the cat dude. My eyes itched in the memory. However, it was Thursday, and Thursday was quiz night at the pub. Most of our crew usually turned out to showcase our combined hundreds of years of education and to get a decent drunk on. I intentionally scheduled a light caseload on Fridays in the event of a hangover. I may get older, but wiser didn’t seem to be coming with the territory.

As luck would have it, I stayed late with a client this evening so I had to book it from the Tube stop to the pub. I texted Paul, one of our friends, asking him to save me a seat and order me a Stella. And a shot of Jameson’s. It had been that kind of day.

A text buzzed from Hannah as I got within a block of the bar. “Are you coming from work?”

“Yup. Got tied up in a session. Be there in 5.”

“What are you wearing?”

“Are you trying to come onto me, perv? Work clothes.”

“That you rolled around the floor all day in?”

What the fuck? I looked down at my black jersey pants and green boatneck tee. It wasn’t the most fashionable thing, but I did spend the majority of my day on the floor working with kids with autism. It’s not like I could do that wearing cashmere and stilettos. And who the fuck was I trying to impress? Two of the guys in our crew were gay, and I’d hooked up with the straight one already. These people had seen me vomit through my nose. Nothing I do could phase them.

Walking into the bar I greeted Eric, the doorman, with a wave (yeah, I’d made out with him once upon a tequila evening) and flashed a peace sign to Allie, our favorite server. We sat the same table every week thanks to the fact that Paul worked a few blocks away and often took a late lunch/early dismissal to get here in time to secure a table. Counting heads, I noticed the numbers were off. Instead of our usual 7-8, there were 10. Oh hell. New people.

As I got closer, I noticed Hannah hanging on the arm of one of the new faces. Great, it’s meet the boyfriend time. And he obviously brought his friends. I said a silent prayer that they weren’t stupid-we take pride in our 10 week unbeaten streak. Oh well, here goes nothing.

“What’s up, bitches?” I shouted as I wrapped my arm around Carly’s shoulder.

“Zoe!” Multiple people responded in salute as I squeezed in next to Paul. The empty seat was flanked by an unfamiliar blonde head, and being me, I didn’t look at him or acknowledge his presence.

“A Stella and a shot, my queen,” Paul said, gesturing to the table while offering his ruddy cheek for a kiss.

“Thank you, pookie bear.” I leaned down and blew a raspberry on his cheek.

“Zoe!” I heard Hannah trying to get my attention from three seats away. Grabbing the shot and sucking it back (oh, burning), I made eye contact with her, silently yelling for her invasion of my safety zone, and waved.

“This is Willie!” She squeezed the arm of the pale, dark haired guy next to her. He grinned, and shit, I did like his smile. He practically was a heart eyed emoji looking at Hannah, so I could check my attitude for the night.

“Hi, Willie,” I shook his outstretched hand. “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Likewise, Zoe. I hear I need to be on my toes around you lot.”

“We’re friendly savages once you get to know us,” I assured him.

Hannah piped up, “This is Deo, Willie’s brother.” Deo had eyebrows that challenged my tact, but he gave me a friendly smile. I made brief eye contact and nodded. Fine and dandy.

“And this is Niall. Willie’s roommate.” The blonde on my left grinned at me and offered his hand. Well holy motherfucker. This is why she was asking if I had changed. He was beautiful. Seriously. The scene from Wayne’s World where Wayne sees Cassandra for the first time basically became my life. I swear I could hear “Dreamweaver” playing in the background. I averted my eyes as I felt Paul elbow me.

“Hi,” I was very focused on tucking my purse under the table and adjusting my jacket just so on the back of the chair.

“Hey there,” he said. His voice sounded like the shot of Irish whiskey burning its way to my stomach. Oh hell. His (large, beautiful) hand was still hanging out there, waiting to be acknowledged. Unable to respond to basic decorum, I gave him a sideways high five. Oh my god. Paul loudly snorted into his beer as my face flushed hotter than the sun.

My phone beeped, saving me from more embarrassment. I looked at the text from Jess, sitting across the table. “Breathe, Z. And wipe the drool.” My response was the middle finger emoji. While I was texting her, Brian sent a message from the other side of Hannah, “Your game is on point as always.” “Piss off. It got you into my bed twice in the last year.” Ugh, he was pompous asshole. Unfortunately, he was also genetically blessed, so I sometimes got weak.

Unsure what to do and faced with a dry throat, I knocked back most of my pint. Sweet, sweet beer. My right leg start jiggling uncontrollably as I stared at the table in front of me. I could literally feel the heat coming off of Niall, and knew with the tight fit of the table if I turned even slightly our legs would touch. I scooted closer to Paul.

“Oi, Z! You’re on my lap. Unless you suddenly grew a cock, I’m not drunk enough for that!” Oh fuck you, Paul. I could feel Niall laughing beside me, and prayed it was at Paul’s inappropriateness and not my obvious social anxiety. Sensing my nerves, Jess stood and announced a toilet break and motioned for me. Carefully standing to not rub my ass on Niall’s shoulder, I slid behind Paul, digging my nails into his shoulder and hissing, “Another pint and shot, dickface. And this round is on YOUR tab.”

In the bathroom, Jess pulled out her makeup bag. “Okay, we need to cover up this flush. You look like a drunk sailor.” Hannah burst into the room with Carly hot on her heels. Christ, we were such a cliche.

“I can.not. believe you didn’t tell us Niall Horan was coming to quiz night, Hannah!” Carly stole a lipstick from Jess’s bag and started re-lacquering her lips. “I mean, what the fuck? We’re your best friends!”

Hannah took the compact of powder foundation from Jess and started working on my face, even as I tried to smack her hands away. “I didn’t know he was coming for sure. I invited Willie so you all couldn’t dodge meeting him. He asked if it was okay if he brought his mates.”

“Wait, you didn’t know Willie is Niall’s cousin? Do you not follow any of their instagrams? They post pics of each other all the time!” Jess shrieked.

“Yeah, I found out last week when I went over to his house. He hadn’t told me before. I assume he didn’t want a girl using him to get to cousin.”

“Niall FUCKING Horan and you didn’t tell us!” Carly continued to rage, pulling out her bun and fluffing her hair.

I stood in shock while Hannah tried to put concealer on a zit on my chin that wouldn’t go away and Jess sprayed something into my hair. “Wait up. Who the hell is Niall Horan and why are we freaking out that he’s here? Should I be freaking out? I gave him a fucking HIGH FIVE.” I didn’t know who he was but I could feel the panic rising.

All three stopped and looked at me. “Zoe. Niall Horan...From One Direction.”

“Oh my god. He’s the blonde one. I only know the name of Harry with the long hair. The blonde one is super cute.” Three pairs of eyes looked at me as if to say, “Duh.” “Omg, I’m sitting next to him. I GAVE HIM A FUCKING HIGH FIVE, HANNAH. Jesus.” The layer of powder spackling my face was now useless. My flush could heat a thousand homes during a blizzard. “Is this the cousin you wanted to fix me up with? Are you insane?!”

“Wait, what? You wanted to fix Zoe up with Niall?” Carly looked offended, and frankly I couldn’t blame her. She was the hot one. Hannah was the sweet one, Jess was the responsible one, and I was the funny one. We all had our unassigned roles, at least in my head.

Rolling her eyes, Hannah resumed my impromptu makeover as I stood, still dumbfounded. “Yes, slag. You have a boyfriend, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“I’d drop him in a sec,” Carly interrupted.

“Anyhow, yes, I wanted to fix up Z. His sense of humor is almost as evil as hers, and she deserves a nice, normal guy.” She poked me in the chest with a mascara wand to make her point.

“Hardly normal, isn’t he?” I responded, finally gathering a few of my thoughts. Jess laughed at my gaping jaw. “Han, I’m going to die at this table of embarrassment, and even if I don’t, Paul is going to murder me if we lose because my brain is cheese right now. I can’t TALK in front of a regular guy I don’t know. Nevermind one who is fucking famous.”

“Relax, Z.” Carly finally sensed my pending tantrum and threw her arms around me. “You’re fine. And remember, Paul is an asshole if we lose at trivia. Those bastards from Social Meme-ia are dying to break our streak. Tossers.”

An hour and a half later, we were in the middle of round two, and solidly kicking ass. I still had not made eye contact with Niall, though a few times during moments of excitement, I had bounced up and down and our legs collided. Each time I yanked mine back in horror, and I could hear him let out a little laugh. Carly had switched seats to be sitting across from us, and she was all but laying her tits on the table at him. I admired her confidence. Niall appeared to be eating it up, so good for him. Two whiskeys and three beers into the night, I was loosening up. Now I could at least blame my flushed face on the booze.

“Next two questions are for our science geeks in the crowd,” Ted, the quizmaster informed us. “Yes!” Paul pumped his fist and threw his arm around my shoulder. “This is all you, Zo!”

“No pressure or anything, thanks,” I laughed. The two questions dealt with the brain, and I squealed in delight. We won top points and took a solid lead. I made eye contact with the leader of Social Meme-ia and raised my eyebrow cockily. And maybe scratched my nose with my middle finger. Take that, losers.

“Science geek, eh?” Niall nudged my arm, forcing me to look into his blue eyes that basically cut my soul. He smiled the sweetest, softest smile I had ever seen. I (thankfully) resisted the urge to caress his cheek. And I realized I had not responded and was just staring at him.

“Um, yeah. I have a biology degree.”

“Don’t let her fool you, Ni,” okay, when did he become ‘Ni’ and why was Paul bellowing in my ear? “My Zoe girl has three fucking degrees and is the queen of the science category. She kills that ‘FUCKING WANKER at Social Meme-ia every FUCKING WEEK.’”

Trying to apologize for my drunk friend, I explained, “Paul leans on me because the only organ he can name is a penis.” Did I really just say penis?

Niall’s face turned bright red and he started cracking up. “You are all amazing.”

“Thank you, Ni!” Paul again shouted in my ear, causing me to physically cover it from his thunderous drunk voice. Also, again with the Ni? Had they even spoken to one another before this exchange? I took a swig of my pint and realized he was talking to me again.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I said, do you use your biology degree? What do you do?”

That’s an easy simple question. Even I can handle this. “Me? What do I do?” Okay, maybe not. He nodded at me encouragingly, and I polished off the rest of my Stella. “I use my powers for good instead of evil. I’m an occupational therapist at a clinic for autistic kids.”

“Very cool. I work with an autism charity in Ireland.”

“That’s cool.” God, Zoe. Open your mouth and let words fall out. It’s not hard. “Um, which charity?”

Allie came to the rescue with another round of pints. Niall motioned to me and himself, and she nodded in some understanding.

“What was that about?” I questioned.

“I ordered you and I another round of Jameson. I think we need to bond over shots-you’ve got a lot to say in that pretty head that you’re not letting out.” His grin split his face and I, to my own shock, found myself smiling back at him.

[empty-dream]

Me Watching Fate/Apocrypha ep 22

Remember that Naruto vs Pain best worst fight scene? Where everybody’s making crazy ass face and noodle-y stances? This is not on that scale, but it’s still this.

*Agrius!Atalanta bites Jeanne* Jeanne: “BAD KITTY! BAD KITTY!!”

Karna you’re too polite for your own good

WASN’T EXPECTING CAULES POPPING OUT HERE AND NOW BUT OKAY VERY WELCOME

But how does he come in here again? Did he just step down from his plane? Is that even possible?

Sieg: “Wait, you want to save your original master?” Caules: “Yeah they don’t have command spells anymore what’s the point?” Karna: “Because I want to. Is that weird?” Both: “Well, it’s saintly as fuck, for one thing.”

Seeing Caules negotiating is always intriguing thing for me.

CAULES TO THE RESCUE! And his unfastened collar :))

I have a question what is the exact mechanism of saving these former red masters??

Sieg: “If attacking Jeanne is your master’s order then why go after me instead?” Karna: “I have this promise with Siegfried to fight to the death and I will give up everything to do that.” Sieg: “Ooooooookay I don’t know whether to be awed or scared.”

I like the music it’s so full of pride.

And here we have another type-moon male protagonist swearing to protect the female protagonist who is stronger than him

Granted at this point Sieg is just loaded with tons of eleventh hour superpower and probably kinda more powerful than many other servants but the point kinda still stands?

Back at episode 22 of My Cat from Hell

It’s been almost 3 years and I still don’t understand why Agrius Metamorphosis has to morph into that kind of suit? Isn’t this like the prototype of Dangerous Beast?

Agrius!Atalanta evolution! Sexy-boar-beast-with-batsy-wings-and-dark-arrow-Agrius Atalanta.

Welp, people has always been like that – people. Past present and future, the nature of people hasn’t changed that much.

Jeanne: “The end never justifies the means!!!” Agrius!Atalanta: “Fuck that!!!”

Wow I like how this fight isn’t too dark and I can see what they’re doing and the viewpoint is good.

WOW she rips off her own wing o_o

I’m bracing for another luminosite eternelle but GREEN LIGHT SOARING THROUGH YESSS

IT’S MOTHERFUCKING ACHILLES HERE YOU ARE FINALLY

Achilles: “Go, Jeanne. It’s sis’ and my problem now.” Jeanne: “I fucking knew it something’s up with you two.”

I’m kinda bummed A-1 doesn’t make it explicit that Achilles really does regret not picking up the clues and just letting Atalanta goes out of control.

His face looks like a boy shyly apologizing for breaking a neighbor’s window.

Why is Semiramis so beautiful and dignified here??

Jeanne: “You seriously believe in Shirou’s humanity salvation plan?” Semiramis: “Yeah, he even told me I’d rule the world after the salvation” Jeanne: “You fucking liar. Nobody’s ruling nobody if it’s truly salvation and you just sound like a certain golden Babylonian asshole king.”

Jeanne: “So how does he plan to do it?” Semiramis: “Well, tbh, I dunno.” Jeanne: “Are you fucking kidding me”

Wow this is so vivid. Does A-1 use color play to balance the noodle figures?

How to fight nukes by Sieg!Fried: Slash the nukes apart.

I.. I do not have any words for this fight, it’s vivid and flashy and powerful.

Though I’m wondering will Mamaramis be mad that their children are destroying her fortress with nukes and lavas?

I like Karna’s armors

TASTE THE EYEBEAMS! -Karna

The eyebeams cuts Sieg!Fried’s beautiful wild long hair THAT’S CLOSE AND ALSO A CRIME

Karna can you stop praising your enemies every time you fight? My heart is going to explode

Oh shit oh shit he’s going to VASAVI SHAKTI

Karna: “What’s your name?” Sieg!Fried: “Sieg!” Karna: “Wonderful name” Me: It’s a bit uncreative but it’s made up of honor and gratitude and now that you’re saying it’s wonderful then wonderful it is.

I LOST MY SHIT WHEN I WATCHED KARNA GOING DIVA IT WAS MIDNIGHT

The look of approval between Sieg!Fried and Karna is a blessing in itself

Move, Clarent Blood Arthur vs Balmung, it’s time for the new best clash: Vasavi Shakti vs Balmung

It’s the third time he uses the command spell right? Cause I can hear Jeanne’s Sieg sense tingling with exasperation.

Sieg!Fried: “Even this is not enough-“ Astolfo: “A SHIELD DELIVERY EXPRESS COMING THROUGHHHHHHH!!!!”

Astolfo: “Are you seriously giving me your shield noble phantasm?? You’re crazy.” Achilles: “I don’t need it anymore and beside it’s my promise to sensei.” Astolfo: “Oh okay. You’re still crazy tho.”

Sometimes I wonder if at this point Achilles is ready to give everything even his life to stop Atalanta because that damn shield is too strong to be given away just like that.

Manly screaming Astolfo is something I never thought I’d need in my life

Ain’t no shield like using a world containing your life as one.

Astolfo: “Wow I didn’t expect using a shield would cause an entire trippy journey into Achilles’s entire life, isn’t this breach of privacy?” Achilles somewhere: “It’s called Achilles Cosmos what exactly did you expect from it?”

Wow wowowo the sudden creation Greek architecture buildings is just… wow. Even Karna is amazed.

The scene when Sieg!Fried and Karna race to grab Balmung is an extreme version of when two people race to grab the last pizza.

When in fight, do NOT only bring one sword! -Sieg!Fried

If this entire fight was not Sieg!Fried vs Karna but only Sieg using Siegfried’s power vs Karna, would there still be anyone who would watch this?

Karna: “Sorry for dragging you with my ego” Sieg: “No, sorry I win through Astolfo’s sudden help” Karna: “No, Astolfo’s your servant and your power. It’s still a fair fight.” Sieg: “Holy crap you are like the greatest person in this world”

I wanna bet at some point Sieg’s like ‘Why do all these heroes have enough time to talk about lots of things when they’re one and half foot into the grave?’

Karna: “Jeanne will be in danger if she finds Shakespeare.” Sieg: “Alright thanks for the info gotta go bye!” Karna: “That was fast.“

Remember when honor and chivalry in war is no good as it will only meet betrayal? No, Fate/Apocrypha isn’t about that.

Karna would die alone if he was a dick but no he wasn’t a dick and Astolfo gets that so he was willing to chat and honor him before Karna fades away.

Karna: “I believe I hardly did anything worthy of a Servant” Me: HOLY SHIT KARNA STAHP YOUR HUMILITY IS KILLING MEE

Goodbye, my kind, hero of charity.

AND HERE I THOUGHT I’D EAT MY SHOE BECAUSE THEY’D SHIFT ACHILLES VS ATALANTA TO THE NEXT EP BUT NOPE THANK GOD

Yes people, the ultimate reason why I keep up with Apocrypha is because I want to see Achilles vs Atalanta and the known result of it

I found almost nothing until today about the fight beside that one line in beastlair forum and an online translated side material and I live with only those for years SO YEAH JUDGE ME I DON’T CARE

Wow the music is so catchy

You know A-1, you can use those 3 seconds for other more important actions on scene instead of Atalanta’s panties.

On a different note, here we are seeing a rider who fights more like a lancer versus an archer who fights more like a berserker

Ow he stabs her. It hurts :(

OW her arrows come back and stabs him. It hurts too :((

Aw yis he’s cradling her, I imagined this for like 3 years and it actually is like this.

NO NONONONO NOT THIS SAD SOUNDTRACK

I’d pay for Atalanta and Achilles to have another 3 seconds to talk more.

Why is Atalanta the one crying? Pretty sure in the novel it’s Achilles who’s crying. It’s even explicitly states in the side material that it’s his very tears and heroic naivety that makes Atalanta feel a bit better in the end.

The English sub makes it sounds like she was fine falling into corruption whereas I’m kinda sure (even tho my Japanese skill is zero) she’d mean she was fine with him stopping her. Correct me if I’m wrong tho.

It kinda hurts that she disappears before he does like I imagined that they’d disappear together, I know there is the battle continuation excuse but.. He has to watch her die and isn’t that painful?

Not gonna lie. Regardless of how short their exchange is and the inaccuracy of who’s crying, I’m loving the detail of this scene. Like how he barely yet still holds her in his arms, how the blood drips on her, how he sighs a little and embraces her as soon as she wakes up as herself, how his head slightly moves as she leans closer, how she weakly caresses his cheek, leaving bloodstains, and he just closes his eyes, and how she finally disappears then he follows- Oh my it looks like I just wrote an entire fanfiction

Isn’t it funny that I ship them for fun since he hits on her which is from vol 1 and then somehow it ends up in tragedy?

Tfw you care too much of a side couple (that isn’t really a couple) way more than the actual main couple

And now all of you understand why those two are on the credit together and why it gives me feels right of the bat

Maybe Achilles’s last words were the ones he wanted to, or should have, say back at episode 19, before Atalanta fell into madness. If he did, would this not happen?

Oh shit I’m weak to when-the-ending-song-is-played-without-the-usual-credit

Holy shit I just read the actual english lyrics of the entire song and my god isn’t this too fitting for this episode??? I’m grossly sobbing.

Goodbye, my pure huntress and brave warrior.

I love when Karna’s spear completely disappears as the song ends.

As of this update, I have replayed Achilles vs Atalanta for 100 times

Semiramis: “I’m waiting for someone else, actually.” Jeanne: “Who?” Semiramis: “That damn brat who rams an airplane into my home” Jeanne: “PFFT.”

The suspicious bitch face look that Jeanne gives as she’s running to the other side of the throne room is what I’m living for

As far as Fate/Apocrypha goes, this episode is the best in terms of everything.

And my long-awaited Achilles vs Atalanta finally comes. A certain op gives a translation over that scene from the novel and as expected, it’s a thousand times more beautiful and sadder. Thank you op. I’m in peace right now.  

*Glancing harshly at DW* Yo, THE REST OF APOCRYPHA SERVANTS WHEN?? We have a ton of people to reunite

NEXT: Hang on kids we got a train to Orleans