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fireflyhwufanficwriter · 4 years ago

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My thoughts on Dr. Stone’s S02E03 (“Call from the Dead”)

My thoughts after watching Season Two, Episode Three:

01. Taiju and Yuzuriha have different types of shoes – that’s a nice detail 😊

02. Leave it to Yuzuriha the arts and crafts club member to notice a detail like the dirt around the grave being different!

03. Day after day… I wasn’t expecting them to visit the grave THAT often. I like that they used the same phrase (“mainichi mainichi”) as last time – in Season One, Senku used it to describe Kohaku’s dedication to her sister, and now in Season Two, Nikki used it to describe Taiju and Yuzuriha’s dedication to their friend 😊

04. I liked Kohaku and Ginro’s excitement at hearing Taiju’s voice. This is the first time they’ve heard an outsider who they knew right away wasn’t an enemy! (Well, second time for Kohaku, since Senku saved her the day they met.)

05. The next time I’m on the phone with somebody, I’m going to imagine the same huge arc of electricity that Kaseki did 😁

06. Senku was so emotional – eyes shining with tears, smiling as he listened to Taiju – and then it all went away because he had to remind his friend that HE was Senku 😆

07. Just like how Gen is the stand in for the audience (modern timers, but generally clueless compared to Senku), Kokuyou and Ruri are the stand-ins for how incredible the phone must seem to Ishigami Village 😁 Come to think of it, Kokuyou’s had that role since last season – he’s far away enough from the main cast that he doesn’t know all of their adventures (and that distance makes him like the “normal” villagers), but close enough that he gets to share his thoughts and theories. It was through his eyes that we saw the big impacts that bottling and furnaces had on Ishigami Village 😊

08. I know it was short, but I like how Senku greeted Yuzuriha separately. They haven’t had that much screentime together since the anime began, but I like how Senku and Yuzuriha have their own friendship, instead of Taiju being their go-between or something like that.

09. “He’s been screaming all day.” All day? Have they been there longer than just the few minutes we’ve seen?

10. Kohaku noticed the defensive reason for why they had to speed things up! 😊 And I liked her observation about Senku and Taiju 😊

11. It’s could be easy to just write Taiju off as a loud blockhead, but it’s scenes like his allowing Tsukasa to hit him in Season One and his question about bloodshed in Season Two that really show you the kind of admirable, pacifistic guy he is 😊

12. “Gen will be back tomorrow or so.” Okay, so we have an estimate of how far the two kingdoms/empires are from each other. I’m glad they mentioned this!

13. Magma and Chrome’s loud conversation really shows how much anime can improve upon manga. When you’re just reading, you do know characters are talking and being loud, but when you’re watching anime, it drives home the fact that they’re being SO LOUD and that they need to SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! Poor Gen… 😆

14. Thank you for finally saying Ukyo’s name, Gen 😆 Anime only folks get important information, and manga readers can sigh in relief that another character’s name has been revealed 😁

15. I’m with Magma. Chrome’s so selfish, worrying about his own life like that! 😡 Not like Magma, who’s strong and noble and self-sacrificing and only thinks of others and their safety 😁

16. You have to feel sorry for Gen… he’s trying to get the two of them to just SHUT UP 😆

17. I doubt Magma was seriously thinking that Chrome would go along with that plan, so he must have been joking… and the fact that we have Magma JOKING around with main characters after being the main antagonist in the middle part of Season One… they’re really pals now, aren’t they? 😲😊

18. Chrome’s battery has 15V… how much is that compared to an AAA battery for a remote control? I'll look it up later 😁

19. I’m a modern era person and it would have never occurred to me to use a wire to connect two ends of a battery and throw it into the grass to start a fire. Either Senku told him that battery stuff fairly recently and it was stuck Chrome’s mind because he was in charge of the heating team, or he’s just that much of a genius that nobody explained that to him but he intuited it anyway… or I’m just that stupid 😆

20. It’s expected that Chrome would sacrifice himself, but Magma… very impressive character development 😁 (I mean, I’m a manga reader, so I knew this was going to happen, but still 😁)

21. Gen’s eyes are blue? I never noticed until this episode.

22. Poor Gen… first, in Season One, he had to run like the wind from the shed of science to the Cave of Miracles while he was SEVERELY injured, and he had to do it as fast as possible to help Senku stay safe, and he was the only one who could do it… and now, he has to run like the wind while dealing with the knowledge and guilt that two of his comrades sacrificed himself for him, and he has to do it as fast as possible to be able to start his extremely important deception mission, and he’s the only one who can do it.

23. Gen really needs to get Kaseki to build him some kind of cable car system or a limousine so that he can travel in style between the two kingdoms/empires instead of exhausting himself all the time running back and forth 😲 Or at least a bicycle!

24. Since it’ll take Gen at least one day, possibly longer, to reach the shed of science, that means that Taiju and Yuzuriha must have talked to Nikki one or more days after they spoke with Senku. Anime helps with some things (like sound), but it can sure confuse people about the passage of time…

25. Copper swirly! 😊 I like Kaseki’s name for it better than Senku’s name for it 😆

26. Kohaku’s eyes! She’s SO fascinated by how the copper swirly is being used 😁

27. Nikki’s SO hostile 😲 I get that she’s a guard and everything, but she doesn’t really have a reason to be this hostile to Taiju and Yuzuriha, does she? It’s weird O.o Unless maybe she wanted to do something else (hunting/training/etc.) but she was forced to be their guard specifically because she’s a woman and can stick to Taiju AND Yuzuriha like glue? (Like Brienne from Game of Thrones.)

28. Why are her eyebrows a darker shade than her hair? This is sort of like Kokuyou’s weird hair colors, but to a lesser extent.

29. The punches are… she’s really hostile. Maybe it’s just to emphasize how much she changes later on and the episode, but it’s still so weird.

30. Didn’t Senku “die” on a cliff, out in the open? Kohaku was able to see him from (presumably) far away, and all that stuff with the gunpowder and the huge rock… am I remembering it wrong? Was it NOT a cliff after all? Because the rocks around this grave make it look like some kind of natural, concealed fortress!

31. Senku’s Sebastian voice sounds so silly 😆

32. I wish they had done Lilian’s voice differently. Gen’s fake Lilian doesn’t sound like a native English speaker while speaking English. Maybe they’re counting on the people they’re talking to not knowing the difference between foreign language accents… but still, this could have been done better. Maybe the studio just didn’t want to hire a new person to speak just a few lines. Or maybe they did this on purpose so that Nikki could notice something was off with her voice?

33. Yuzuriha being quick on the uptake again! 😁

34. This has to be the most stressful, rushed, and mathematical estimating of CD sales and body measurements ever 😆

35. The video game music was used in such a fun, light way last season (choosing the third mining team member) that hearing it in this scene for this situation sounds so weird 😲

36. That crouching backwards, pointing straight ahead Lilian pose seemed really out of place when the music is this really soft, gentle song 😲

37. I wonder if the stadium they showed us is based on a real stadium in Japan?

38. “Lilian doesn’t exist in this world anymore. Am I right?” Oh, Nikki… 😭

39. Senku’s eyes were shining when he replied to Nikki… I wonder if talking about Lilian reminded him of Byakuya… somebody who was in space with Lilian and also doesn’t exist in this world anymore… 😭

40. I love how Senku doesn’t lose anything or inconvenience himself at ALL by making that promise, since he’s going to protect the glass recording anyway because of Byakuya 😆

41. Okay, after Nikki committed to the plan (welcome, Nikki!), they zoomed out and the grave is seriously surrounded by all those vertical rocks. There is NO WAY this grave is in the same place Senku and Tsukasa last talked. No WAY.

42. I was SO surprised when the episode ended there 😲 That was NOT what I was expecting. This episode felt so short!

43. I still love this ending theme! 😁

44. About the ending theme (“Koe” / “Voice” by Hatena), songs mean a lot more to me when I understand what the lyrics mean, so I went to YouTube hoping to find an English cover or English subtitles or something. I found this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scv09Dtby-8) by a YouTube channel called AniComet Music, and from 0:12 to 0:34, the lyrics are, ��I keep struggling and suffering, but still / I’ll gain strength from the feelings I’ve had for you / It’s a story that will never change / Even though I knew I’d never be a match for him.”

45. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel the song is from Senku’s point-of-view, and both the second and fourth lines could be about Byakuya (especially the fourth line) – in a father/son context, of course – of how he gets strength and inspiration from Byakuya and how he feels his father will always be beyond him and more than him 😭

46. With that said, even though my interpretation is really meaningful to me, it doesn’t really make sense, since “you” and “him” are obviously different people, and when you read more of the lyrics, “you” can’t really be referring to Byakuya. Maybe my interpretation will change when I listen to the song more and read more translations, but this is the first English translation of the ending song that I’ve read, and it really speaks to me 😊

https://firefly-hwufanficwriterrrrr.tumblr.com/MyDrStoneEpisodeMangaThoughts

#dr stone #ishigami senku #dr. stone #oki taiju #ogawa yuzuriha #asagiri gen #hanada nikki #lillian weinberg #ishigami byakuya

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dpeace85 · 4 years ago

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The Gospel

On reading the word:

A lot of people seem really stressed out these days. I’d say politics is the main source of it. But the pandemic is running a tight second. I can’t help but notice the helplessness I see in the people around me. It just seems like everyone is lost. Not just mentally or emotionally, but spiritually. And that’s what concerns me most. I read my Bible and listen to what self-professing Christians around me say, and what I hear is very different from what I read. I’m no scholar, but the scriptures just don’t seem, to me, to be hard to understand. I believe the problem is most people read the Bible the wrong way. Yes, there is a “right” and “wrong” way to read. That’s true of any text. If I’m browsing the isles of the local bookstore and come across a title I’ve never heard of or seen, and decide to buy it, I’m going to read that book much differently than I would the New York Times bestseller. The difference is the method of interpretation. The terms used for this are “exegesis” and “eisegesis”.

Approaching a text exegetically simply means reading the words and interpreting what is being said. This is quite easy to do if you’re unfamiliar with a book. In fact, exegetical is the only possible approach to an unfamiliar text. You have no preconceived notion or ideas about what you’re about to read. You simply open to page one and begin reading. By the end of the book, you’re likely to have a clear idea of what the writer wanted you to know. You’re not reading the book, while simultaneously searching for a “spoiler” your heard prior to buying it. There’s no confusion as to what you read, and what you thought the outcome of the story was supposed to be.

Eisegesis is just the opposite. The NYT bestseller is the one everyone is talking about. It’s been pre-released to the author’s biggest fans. It’s been talked about on all the morning shows, and it's the one people can’t wait to get their hands on. You already know what the story is about. You just don’t know how it ends. Or maybe it’s the classic. Most everyone has read it. You know the story, and how it ends. You’ve heard the highlights, and all the real-world implications of the text. So, when you finally get your hands on it, you start searching at page one for all the things you’ve heard. As you read, your mind constantly wanders back to those things, and certain parts of the book are a little confusing, because the interpretation “they” gave wasn’t exactly the way the text offers it. So, you just skim over those parts and get back to the stuff you know is there. This approach robs you of the full enjoyment of the book. It’s also a waste of time on behalf of the author. They wrote the book with the intent of all readers enjoying the full essence of the story.

Sadly, the Bible is almost always approached eisegetically. In all fairness though, it’s been around a while. Since the scriptures were first written, they have been passed through the generations almost exclusively by spoken word. In the early 1600s, King James I of England changed history for us all. Until then there was no English translation of the scriptures. The king believed people should be able to read them for themselves, instead of relying on someone else to do so. Since then, the Bible has been translated and printed in virtually every language on Earth. And because of this, it’s nearly impossible to pick up a Bible, open to Genesis 1:1, and begin reading without any preconceptions of the text. With that said, however, how many Christians try? And therein lies the problem with the modern Gospel – which is no Gospel at all.

I’m ashamed to admit I’ve received most of my Biblical education sitting in a church pew on Sundays, listening to a guy hiding behind a pulpit. Don’t get me wrong. I know there are no perfect people, and I’ve had some God-ordained leadership over the years. But I’ve also come to realize, in my adult faith, that several of my pastors and teachers over the years were – and some still are – sorely misguided. My entire Christian education can be summed up very simply: “Do your part, and let God do the rest.” What a waste of the Gospel. There’s infinitely more to the Gospel of Jesus Christ than just “let go and let God.” Put away the Bible studies. Put away the commentaries. Turn off the podcasts.

Read God’s word.

On God:

You must understand who God is. God doesn’t need you. God never needed you. God will never need you. You are because God wills you to be. Between the words “are” and “because” you can add anything your heart desires, but it will never be the result of anything you’ve done. When “the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters” (Gen. 1:2) He knew that on this day, at this very moment, you would be reading these words. Not only did He know, He willed it. At this very moment, God knows exactly how many milliliters of blood are flowing through your heart with every beat. He also knows, at this very moment, how many milliliters of blood are flowing through every beating heart on Earth. Not only does He know, He is aware of every single one. He doesn’t have to think about it. He doesn’t focus on one thing, while something else slips by. He is deeply and intimately aware, at this very moment, of the number of times a bird in the Amazon must flap its wings to reach its next drink of water. Not only is he aware, but He willed it before the creation of the world. One might say God could just snap his finger and make everything disappear, but there’s no finger snap needed! God willed your life into existence before the creation of the world. He knew the exact moment of your birth. He knows the exact moment and means of your death. A person who is conspiring to kill you, and even takes action to do so, has no control of whether you live or die. No accidental death is truly accidental. No chronic disease was ever truly undiscovered or unexpected. God’s will is sovereign over all things and all people. Understanding this should cause us to fear God, because “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (Prov. 1:7).

God is not your buddy. There’s a verse in an old song I heard many times growing up that says, “I am a friend of God, He calls me friend.” It’s a fast-paced, clap-along, feel-good song. And the message of the song is based on John 15:15 where Jesus tells the disciples, “I no longer call you servants... I have called you friends.” But instead of an eisegetical approach to this passage, start at verse 12 and just read it. Jesus says, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know is master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my father I have made known to you.” Jesus starts by telling them to love like He loves. He then tells them the greatest example love is to die for your friends. He later dies for His friends. He also tells them His Father’s “business” which includes His death, and their future trials and persecution. In this passage, He’s telling them they must lay down their lives for Him, so that they can be called His friends. I’ve never had a buddy tell me he is going to die for me, and I must also return the favor. I can only conclude that my skewed definition of “friend” is a result of my modern Christian education. I know now that I must be called a friend of God if I want to spend eternity with him. I must be willing to die to gain eternity.

The part about dying doesn’t really concern me that much, though. I'll talk more about that later. The part I focus on is the “business” that He has made known to us. The Bible is our “master’s business.” It’s all written down and, thanks to King James I, we all can read it. It’s not a secret! Yet some Christians live every waking moment worrying about what’s going to happen next. Whether it be at work, at home, in politics, or in health, they worry. Why!? He’s already told you the end of the story! John wrote an entire book about it (Revelations). Prophets talked about if for centuries. Jesus talked about it often. We know God’s will. This should strike a deep fear in your heart! Not a fear of the future, but a fear that when God’s will comes to pass, you will be called an enemy of God, instead of a friend.

Pray that God will give you understanding of who He is.

On death:

If I understand I must lay down my life for God, to be called His friend, I must accept the fact that I am going to die. I must live with an awareness that this life will end. I see Christians every day that are consumed by fear of death, and it confuses me. I must admit I haven’t read my Bible cover to cover yet, but I’ve read many scriptures that tell me I’d much rather be dead than alive. It’s easy to sit at a keyboard and type such bold statements, but it’s very difficult to live them day to day. I know that if one of my children were to die, I’d be devastated – there are a million other words I could use there, but it’s safe to say none could truly describe the pain I’d feel. But at the same time, I can say with confidence in my faith, I know God knows the exact moment each of my children will leave this world. No matter how violent or unexpected that moment may be, He knew it would happen before he created the world. He willed it to happen that way. This brings me to a question I got the answer to when I started reading the Bible: Does life matter?

The murder of Abel in Genesis 4:8 is the first recorded death in history. It was sudden and violent. Having children of my own, I can assure you Adam and Eve took this pretty hard. I’m sure there were many tears and sleepless nights. Their lives were forever changed that day. Since that time in ancient history, however, not one single person has lost a minute’s sleep over Abel’s death. The story lives on thousands of years later but focuses more on Cain’s anger than the son Adam and Eve lost that day. There are six-year-olds in Children’s Church that can tell the story, from Abel’s burnt offerings to Cain’s punishment; all with a prideful smile on their face. Abel was beaten to death with a rock, and now his murder is featured in children’s story Bibles.

Then we move on the flood in Genesis 7. God himself killed everyone on Earth except for Noah and his family. And that’s pretty much all that’s said about all the people that died. Somewhere that day, some guy was sitting with his wife and kids at the dinner table, and it started raining. At some point over the next few days, he and his wife were treading water, desperately trying to keep their children’s heads above the surface. They all eventually sank slowly below the surface of the water and drowned. That happened to families all around the world, but the scriptures make no mention of it. The scriptures focus on Noah’s obedience to God, rather than the massive loss of life.

In Exodus 12 God kills the firstborn child of every Egyptian. Thousands of people – men, women, and children – all die at the same exact moment. Weeks before, a woman walks her child through the market, holding his hand so he wouldn’t get away from her and get himself hurt. The woman has never heard of Moses; has no knowledge of the struggle between Pharaoh and the Israelites. Her time is consumed by her toddler son. But soon, all the animals die. Locusts destroy the crops. The river that gives life-sustaining water to her child turns to blood. Through all of this, however, she manages to keep him alive and healthy. She’ll do whatever is necessary to keep her son safe. But one morning she awakens to find her son’s lifeless, cold body. He was just one of thousands. Exodus 12:30 says, “... there was a loud wailing in Egypt, for there was not a house without someone dead.” Thousands dead in one night, and all the Bible offers us is a “loud wailing.”

These events are some of the earliest events in history. We can tell these stories, along with many other stories in our more recent history and feel virtually no emotion. But the thought of losing someone close to us makes us sick to our stomach. The fear of dying leads us to extraordinary means of self-preservation. The current pandemic (COVID-19) is a perfect example. Over the course of history there have been numerous plagues and outbreaks of diseases that have claimed the lives of millions. However, those are not real to us because we weren’t there. We weren’t there when the first murder was committed. We weren’t there when everyone drowned. We weren’t there when the death angel came. We weren’t in the concentration camps. We weren’t in the Twin Towers. But we are in the pandemic. We have lost loved ones to COVID-19. This one is real to us. We isolate ourselves. We isolate others. We’re willing to help, if we can do it from a distance. The virus is deadly. Meanwhile, in countries like India, Peru, and Ethiopia, children dig through piles of rotting garbage for food, and drink contaminated water. Their parents have died from diseases we as Americans are vaccinated for as newborns.

At some point after you die, no one is going to remember you. So, the answer to my question is obviously, “No, life doesn’t matter.” Yet we fight so hard to keep it. It’s an end for us. So many people in the Bible embraced death. They rejoiced in it. They ran to it with open arms. Paul lived a miserable life after God changed him. He spent the rest of his days on the run, in prison, being beaten, starved, and homeless, but genuinely rejoiced in his sufferings. Paul wasn’t always under persecution. There were days when he was just in a bad situation. He spent days on a ship during a storm. He and the others on the ship were close to death on more than one occasion, but he never lost faith or doubted it was God’s will that he was in the storm. If he had died during the storm, it would have still been for the glory of God. He was a friend of God.

John 12:25 says, “Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” There are a lot of Christians out there who seem to really, really love their life.

On politics:

Since the beginning of time the vast majority humans have lived under some variation of a Monarchy. A king rules and the people obey. There is no such thing as a “God-given right to be free.” In the Old-Testament, God led many nations into battle. He led them to fight for His will and purposes. But for most of the Israelites’ - God’s chosen people – history, they were slaves. As Americans it’s hard for us to imagine any other way of life than what we’ve always known. We’ve reached a point in our nation where Christians feel they have a right to complain when the waitress wasn’t paying attention and got the order wrong. We think it’s necessary to cancel church services because the power is out. And we wouldn’t dare live without our guns. God has blessed America because of how good we’ve been as Christians, right? He gave us our right to be free, because we have honored him, right?

In Daniel 2, Daniel is interpreting a dream for King Nebuchadnezzar. The dream is about a statue made of various metals. Each section, from the head to the feet, each made of a different metal, represents a different kingdom in history. The last section of the statue is the legs and feet. The legs are made of iron, and the feet of iron and clay. Daniel tells the king this represents a kingdom in the last days. He describes the kingdom as “strong as iron” (v.40) and says, “it will crush and break all others” (v.40). Then he says the feet of iron and clay represent a divided kingdom, “partly strong and partly brittle” (v.42). He goes on to say its people will not remain “united” (v.43). During the time of this kingdom, Jesus will return, destroy all earthly kingdoms, and rule for eternity. This last kingdom Daniel refers to is the United States. The US has become the most powerful nation in history. Its power has enabled it to render aid to, protect, and even destroy other world governments. But the US is more divided now than ever. Our nation is weaker than it has ever been. We are no longer pure iron but have been mixed with an equal amount of clay. God’s moral standards still have a stronghold in our nation but are slowly diminishing by the day. So, if I believe Daniel is prophesying about the US, I must also believe our great blessings have nothing to do with what we have done and has everything to do with God’s will for His people. There is nothing we as Christians can do to turn our nation back to God. Biblical prophecy tells us time and again that’s just not going to happen. Our nation will remain divided until Jesus returns and destroys all nations... including ours.

So why are so many Christians so passionate about politics? The outcome of an election has no bearing on the moral declination of our country. It really doesn’t matter who the president is, or who our government leaders are. We as Christians have been called to do God’s will. Should you vote? If you want to, sure. Are we called by God to vote? Absolutely not.

In Matthew 8, several disciples are pledging their allegiance to Jesus. One of the disciples tells Jesus he will follow Him, but his father had just died. He says to Jesus, “Lord, first let me go bury my father” (v. 21). Jesus replied, “Follow me and let the dead bury their own dead” (v.22). This man was grieving. His father had not even been dead long enough to be buried. Jesus is telling him the work of the Father is more important than burying dead people. He also implies the man’s family is also dead even before they have died. He was referring to their souls.

What Jesus is teaching us in this passage is that we should not concern ourselves with worldly traditions. Let the world do worldly stuff. We need to be focused on eternity. Our future is not here on Earth. Our future is with God our Father.

On freedom:

So why am I writing all this? I just feel like a lot of my brothers and sisters in Christ are hurting when they don’t have to be. If you find yourself in a state of depression, or feel like you keep running in spiritual circles, open your Bible and just read the Word. God makes it very clear that He is in control. Understand you can do nothing to change or influence God’s will. You can’t read the scriptures and conclude you have any control over the world around you. The Bible tells us exactly what is going to happen to us and our nation... and every other nation on Earth. It’s all going to end. Our money, our homes, our stuff, our body, and our lives all have a time limit. We were never called to get a job, start a family, save for retirement, and live the American dream. We are called to repentance. We are called love like Christ loves. We are called to follow Him. Knowing this frees us. We can be free of stress, free of worry, free of depression.

But how do we gain this freedom? The generic answer would be, “Give your sin to God", or “Let go of your sin.” But Jesus said, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin” (John 8:34). What slave has ever been able to just “let go" of their master? How can you give something away if you belong to it? You can’t. The idea that you have to take action to gain freedom in Christ is sinful. Jesus came to set us free, because we are slaves to sin. In order to be freed from sin, we must pray for God to release us. Only He can break those chains. This is the truth of the Gospel.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:36

Dusty Peace

2/16/21

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lhugbereth · 7 years ago

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Peace in the Beyond

ArdyNoct Week Day 6 // Afterlife // @ardynoctweek

Though the past can never be altered, the 'beyond' offers both Noctis and Ardyn a chance to come to terms with the lives they've left behind.

Read on AO3

1731 words, Gen (fluff)

As he strode through the dusty halls of the Citadel, letting his fingers brush over the fading, peeling wallpaper, Noctis felt his heart grow heavy with memories. How many years had passed since he last stood here? Really stood here, not just in spirit but in body, as well. Already it seemed a lifetime ago - and perhaps it had been. He'd become a poor judge of mortal time as of late.

Still, when he looked down the hall stretched out before him, he could picture the scenes of his childhood as though they were actually playing out before his eyes.

"Prince Noctis!" A young boy with chestnut hair and glasses too large for his delicate face emerges from behind a tapestry. "Noct, please come out. I'll get in trouble again if we're late!" Fretting, nearly in tears, the boy searches behind curtain after curtain, to no avail. "Noct, where are you…?"

The boy sat down to cry, and Noct favored him with a sad smile. "Sorry, Specs. I was hiding under my bed the whole time. I didn't mean for you to get in trouble, but thanks for forgiving me."

The scene changes. The young vision of Ignis is gone, replaced by the taller figure of a regal man. He's facing away, but it's obvious that he's smiling, laughing even, as his shoulders tremble with mirth. For a time, he waits. Until at last a small child, barely able to walk upright, teeters out from between his feet. "Attaboy, Noct," Regis says, giggling while he watches his son take his first steps.

"Dad…." Another pang hit him and Noct at last turned away. Sometimes, this place was filled with too many memories to bear.

But as he whirled around, Noct found himself facing a different figure. He, too, was tall, but with deep red hair and a haunting smile. This one was not surrounded by the same sourceless light as the others - not a memory then, but the real Ardyn.

Noct’s heart quickened.

"Thought I might find you here," Ardyn sighed as he took a step forward. Then another. "They say the place where one died always calls to them. Draws them back."

It was Noctis’ turn to sigh. "Guess that’s part of it. But I think…when I come here, it's to forget death. I want to remember what it was like to be alive."

Suddenly, the walls seemed to shiver, shudder; dust and debris shook loose from the top down, gradually fading away and leaving pristine marble in it's place. Light from nowhere and everywhere at once illuminated the hall, and if Noct listened closely enough he could almost hear the bustle of activity from the days when the Citadel was filled with life.

"Thanks," he grinned over his shoulder, and Ardyn exaggerated a bow.

"The least I can do for you, King."

"You know, you don't have to call me that." Noct favored Ardyn with a smile as he closed the distance and wrapped him in his arms. "Neither of us is a king anymore."

"Mm, true. Funny, isn't it?" The stretch of a tired smile against his cheek. "What I always wanted, and what you spent all those years trying to be. In the end, what did it matter?"

"Beats the hell outta me. Come on, let’s see what else is on." Noct took Ardyn by the hand and together they descended the steps of the Citadel. Where they were going, he wasn't yet sure, but he had a feeling they would find it along the way.

He was right. Just beyond the gates, the pair stepped out not into the heart of Insomnia, but into a place far older. Thatched roofs and dirt roads, children playing and laughing as they chased strange little winged creatures in the garden. Noct thought he recognized them, but it wasn't until Ardyn let out a chuckle at his side that his suspicions were confirmed.

"Moogles! Lovely little creatures. It really has been an age."

"Where are we?"

"It would appear," Ardyn smiled sidelong at him. "That we've found my hometown. No place you've ever heard of, and destroyed long before your precious city was ever built on it's bones. Ah, look there - !"

In the middle of the path, a tiny, pudgy black ball of feathers streaks toward them. Hot on it's tail is a young man, a teen from the looks of him, with lanky arms and hair like a wildfire. He looks frantic, cursing under his breath as the chocobo eludes his grasp again and again. "Get back here, bird brain! I swear I'll make you into a pie when I catch you!!"

Noctis looked insulted. Ardyn grinned. "Oh, come now, I didn't really cook him. He was my favorite companion, after all."

"Hard to tell with you."

"Ouch."

But he merely smiled and squeezed Noct’s hand tighter. "I suppose I'd like to show you one more place, if you'd be so kind as to humor me?"

"Sure. Not like I’ve got anywhere else to be.”

Noctis took in the view as he strode alongside Ardyn through the quaint village. None of the people who passed turned to look at them - they were merely memories after all - but it felt...lonely. Perhaps there was a sadness that lingered over the place in death. Or perhaps the heaviness that hung in the air came from Ardyn himself, from the pain he had carried with him all those two thousand years and projected onto even his fondest memories. Either way, it filled Noct with a nameless longing, and he found himself drawn closer to the taller man’s side.

“Almost there, Highness,” came the familiar voice next to his ear. Noct glanced up, but Ardyn’s gaze was fixed ahead of them, a mysterious light playing in the golden orbs of his eyes.

The houses gradually fell away. A forest began to grow up around them, the trunks of the trees stretching and twisting as with the passage of a hundred years. Beneath their feet, the ground grew soft; grass, flowers, a dark green moss that seemed to grab at the soles of Noct’s shoes and make his steps slow, heavy. The air grew thick with the scent of the ancient woods.

“Ardyn,” he began, but the touch of a single finger to his lips silenced him. Ardyn smiled and pointed into the clearing.

There was a stone. No, not just a stone, something carved out of the stone - like a small statue or, Noct realized, a shrine. Crudely cut, chipped and worn with time, yet at the top he could make out the shape of two feathered wings spread out around a sun-like disc. Noctis recognized it as the ancient symbol of the Hexatheon.

No doubt about it. This was an altar to the Six.

“What are we…?”

“ Shh. ” As he squeezed his hand, Ardyn’s eyes fell closed. A rustle, movement on the far side of the clearing, and Noct’s attention was drawn away once more.

From out of the trees stumbles a figure. He’s young, perhaps thirty, his red-brown hair long and disheveled around his hollow face, matted in parts with dirt or dried blood. Around his shoulders he clutches a tattered shawl, and his haunted, yellow eyes dart in every direction as he moves quickly into the clearing.

At last, he appears certain he’s alone. Turning his gaze on the stone altar, he approaches, kneels down, bows his head. Speaks in a voice far more tired than one befitting his age. “You must be laughing to see me here. Perhaps…. Perhaps You don’t even notice my presence anymore.” His shoulders tremble as if he’s fighting back tears. “There was a time I came to You with anything. When You cared for me as one of Your own…. But now. Now look at me.”

He drops his head into his hands as his body is overcome. Shadows flicker beneath his pale skin, twitch and bulge under the surface, out of control. The man sobs as he attempts to once again lift his head. “Help me! Please! Why won’t You help me? Why are You punishing me!!”

Noct couldn’t stand to watch any longer. His own eyes stinging, he turned from the scene as the sound of Ardyn’s strained voice echoed around the clearing. It felt cruel, standing helplessly by as the man he once knew as his mortal enemy begged for mercy, his words falling on the deaf ears of the very gods who had betrayed him.

“Is this what you brought me here to see?” Deep blue eyes were pained, questioning as they searched yellow-gold. “Why…?”

“I wasn’t always a monster.” Ardyn had drawn back from him, was looking down at his hands. Between them he held a scarf - the same fabric as the shawl that had been wrapped around the vision of himself. “For many long years, I tried to repent for whatever the gods had found lacking within me. Surely I was to blame. Surely they could undo the curse.” When he looked up at Noctis, his smile was sad, and for the first time there seemed to be tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “But they never answered me again, not until it was far too late to beg for forgiveness.”

Quiet settled around them, a delicate calm in the wake of Ardyn’s confession. It made sense now, why he’d led Noct here, and why he’d chosen to wait until this moment. It had been Noct’s own words that had opened the door for him - forgetting death, remembering life. For Ardyn, who had long been consumed by the demons of revenge, there was little left to celebrate about his mortality. Only this, the vision of the human being he had once been, was worth redeeming.

With a heavy smile, Noctis spread his arms. An invitation, one which Ardyn accepted after only a moment’s hesitation. He stepped into the embrace, sighed as gentle warmth embraced him, let his head come to rest on Noct’s shoulder.

“You’ve already paid for your mistakes,” that familiar voice whispered into his ear. Tears began to well behind the surface and spilled forth freely. Ardyn clung to Noct’s frame as the centuries of pain drained away from him, the burden eased by the light of compassion, of love. “And you are forgiven. If not by the gods, then by your King.”

#ardynoct #ardynoctweek #ardyn #noctis #ffxv #final fantasy xv #myfic

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live4thelord · 5 years ago

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What Is the Wrath of God?

In Tuesday’s Mass there was a reference to the wrath of God: The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness (Romans 1:18).

What is God’s wrath? It is spoken of often in Scripture but is a concept with which we must be careful. On the one hand, we cannot simply dismiss it as contrary to the fact that God is love, but on the other, we cannot deny that God’s wrath is unfit in terms of His love.

Let’s consider some aspects of the complex reality of the wrath of God. There is not enough space to cover the topic fully in a single post, so I welcome your additions and subtractions in the comments section, as always.

The wrath of God is not merely an Old Testament concept. In fact, it is mentioned quite frequently in the New Testament as well. Here are a few of the many New Testament passages:

Jesus said, “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains upon him” (John 3:36).

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord (Rom 12:19).

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things [e.g., immorality] God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient (Ephesians 5:6).

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:9).

The angel swung his sickle on the earth, gathered its grapes and threw them into the great winepress of God’s wrath (Revelation 14:19).

Clearly, the “wrath of God” is not some ancient or primitive concept with which the New Testament has dispensed. Notice also that the wrath of God is not something reserved for the end of the world; it is spoken of as already operative in certain people.

What is God’s wrath, and how can we reconcile it with His love? Consider these explanations. Taken together, they can lead us to an overall understanding.

God’s wrath is His passion to set things right. We see an example of this right at the beginning, in Genesis, when God cursed Satan and uttered the protoevangelium: I will make you and the woman enemies … one of her seed will crush your head while you strike at his heel (Genesis 3:15). God is clearly angered at what sin has done to Adam and Eve, and He continues to have anger whenever He beholds sin and injustice. He has a passion for our holiness. He wants what is best for us and is angered by what hinders this. All sins provoke His wrath, but there are five that especially cry out to Heaven for vengeance: willful murder (Gen 4:10), the sin of the Sodomites (Gen 18:20, 19:13), the cry of the oppressed (Exodus 3:7-10); the cry of the foreigner, the widow, and the orphan (Ex 20:20-22), and injustice to the wage earner (Deuteronomy 24:14-5, James 5:4, Catechism of the Catholic Church # 1867). In terms of sin, injustice, and anything that hinders the possibility of salvation, God has a wrathful indignation and a passion to set things right. This is part of His love for us. His wrath may be manifested through punishment, disturbance of our conscience, or simply by allowing us to experience the consequences of our sin.

God’s wrath is not like our anger. In saying that God is angry we ought to be careful to understand that however God experiences anger (or any passion), it is not tainted by sin. God is not angry in the way that we are. When we get angry, we often lose control, saying and doing things that are excessive if not downright sinful. It cannot pertain to God to have temper tantrums, fly off the handle, or lash out unreasonably. The way God does experience anger is not something we can fully understand but it is surely a sovereign and serene act of His will, not an out-of-control emotion.

God is not moody. It does not pertain to God to have good days and bad days, good moods and bad ones. Scripture seems clear enough that God does not change. Consider this from the Book of James: Every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of lights, in whom there is no variableness or shadow of turning (James 1:17). Hence, God’s wrath does not represent Him suddenly getting fed up, or His temper flaring, or His mood souring. He does not change; He is not variable.

God’s wrath is our experience of the total incompatibility of our sinful state before the holiness of God. Sin and God’s holiness just don’t mix; they can’t keep company. Think of fire and water; they cannot coexist in the same place. Bring them together and you can hear the conflict. Think of a small amount of water poured into a large fire: the water droplets sizzle and pop; steam rises as the water boils away. If there is a lot of water, the fire is overwhelmed and extinguished. The point is that they cannot coexist; they will conflict, and one will win. This is God’s wrath: the complete incompatibility of two things, sin and His utter holiness. We must be purified before entering His presence, otherwise we could not tolerate His glory. We would wail and grind our teeth, turning away in horror. The wrath is the conflict between our sin and God’s holiness. God cannot and will not change, so we must be changed or else we will experience wrath.

The primary location of God’s wrath is not in Him; it is in us. God does not change; He is holy and serene; He is love. If we experience His wrath it is on account of us, not Him.

It is we who change, not God, and this causes wrath to be experienced or not.

Consider the following example. On the ceiling of my bedroom is a fixture with a 100-watt light bulb. Before bed at night, I delight in the light; I become accustomed to it. At bedtime, I turn off the light and go to sleep. When I awake it is still dark, and I turn on the light. Now now it seems too bright, and I curse it. Obviously, the light itself has not changed; it is just as bright in the early morning hours as it was the previous evening. The light is the same, but I have changed. Yet do you know what I do? I blame the light, saying, “That light is so harsh!” The light is not any harsher than it was the night before when I was perfectly happy with it. Now that I have changed, I experience its “wrath,” but the wrath is really in me.

Now consider the experience of the ancient family of man with God. Adam and Eve walked with God in the cool of the evening when the dew collected on the grass (cf Gen 3:8). They had a warm friendship with Him and did not fear His presence. After sinning, they hid. Had God changed? No, they had. They now experienced Him very differently.

Fast forward to another theophany. God had come to Mt Sinai, and as He descended the people were terrified, for there were peals of thunder, lightning, clouds, and the blast of a trumpet. The people told Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen, but let not God speak to us, else we will die” (Ex 20:19). God, too, warned Moses that the people could not get close lest His wrath be vented upon them (Ex 19:20-25). Had God changed? No, He was the same God who had walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the evening in a most intimate way. It was we who had changed. We had lost the holiness without which no one can see the Lord (Heb 12:14). The same God, unchanged though He was, now seemed frightening and wrathful.

What, then, shall we do? If we can allow the image of fire to remain before us, we may well find a hopeful sign in God’s providence. If God is a holy fire, a consuming fire (cf Heb 12:26; Is 33:14), how can we possibly come into His presence? How can we avoid the wrath that would destroy us? Well, what is the only thing that survives in the presence of fire? Fire! It looks as if we’d better become fire if we want to see God. He sent tongues of fire upon the apostles and upon us at our Confirmation. God wants to set us on fire with the Holy Spirit in holiness. He wants to bring us up to the temperature of glory so that we can stand in His presence.

See, I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come, says the LORD Almighty. But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the LORD, as in days gone by, as in former years (Mal 3:1-4).

Indeed, Jesus has now come: For you have turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath (1 Thess 1:10-11).

So, there is a “wrath of God,” and it is more in us than it is in Him. I will not claim that there is no wrath in God. Scripture seems clear that wrath does pertain to God’s inner life. What exactly it is and how He experiences it is a mystery to us. We can say to some extent what it is not, but we cannot really say what it is exactly. A far richer point to meditate is that the wrath of God is essentially in us. It is our experience of the incompatibility of sin before God. We must be washed clean in the Blood of the Lamb and purified. Most of us will need purification in Purgatory, too. However, if we let the Lord work His saving work, we will be saved from the wrath, for we are made holy and set on fire with His love—and fire doesn’t fear the presence of fire. God is love, but He will not change; His love must change us

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hessbynum · 6 years ago

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Performance Anxiety & Me

There was a time I loved performing music for an audience. I would get butterflies in my stomach and any nerves I had were easily transformed into excitement. The more prepared, the more at ease I was. My best performances are hard to describe because the normal analyzing stopped and the music flowed through me. At a young age I was able to recover from a mistake and keep going. I truly enjoyed performing despite my intense introverted nature.

This went on for years until some things happened. I was never formally trained in singing. While working on my bachelors in Applied Music and Teaching Music I was expected to sight sing as a part of music theory training. The concept is simple. You’re given a passage of music and a starting pitch to sing what’s written. I read music well and have always been able to carry a tune, but this was different. Worse, the professor had a dramatic flare to pound the first note on the piano and scream and shout. In retrospect, I imagine it being similar to how it feels to be in Gordon Ramsey’s kitchen on a reality television show. The louder it got, the more paralyzed I became until I lost the ability to connect the pitch in my head with whatever came out of my mouth. I failed the class.

I could retake the class and pass it or change majors. I’m stubborn, so I retook the class. I was given a slight reprieve as the professor took a sabbatical and another professor stepped in who had a gentler approach.

The second time around I was also taking vocal pedagogy to help prepare me to teach choir (yikes). I became a class project of sorts and I’m so thankful for the patience of my professor and classmates. We reconnected the pitch in my head with the one coming out of my mouth. Then we discovered I was trying to sing the exercises too low. In fact, my voice was rather bright. I remember as my range was being tested we stopped as no one would ask me to sing that high.

So there I was. I had a new instrument to learn and I had to learn it quickly. I didn’t have time for the identity crisis I needed over wielding this stranger’s voice. I had work to do. Luckily I had learned enough instruments to have a formula. I needed recordings to mimic and emulate in my practice until I could find my own path. I tried listening to opera since I now had the label ‘soprano’ to work with. It felt ridiculous. A little voice work didn’t make me the vocal athlete I would need to be to make that work, so I looked for something else. I went through every mp3, CD, and cassette I had and found nothing. I needed a high, bright voice to imitate. The sense that I had made a terrible mistake was sinking in when I remembered I had brought some records with me. I got them out and found my salvation: Joni Mitchell. Please understand it’s not my intent to even put my voice in the same category as hers. Her high, bright voice and soft spoken demeanor fit my needs like a glove. My friends thought it was really cool that I was listening to Joni Mitchell on vinyl at all hours and had no idea the work behind all that listening.

I passed the class. And I found myself thinking, now I never have to sing again. I had always enjoyed singing, but a shadow had been cast. While teaching I could sing and even during my short time as a music teacher I sang a cello part during a concert so my students could go on. When there was no utility to my singing, I couldn’t muster a peep.

After I failed the class, anxiety seeped into every performance. Others have written about the traumatic nature of juries. Basically part of classical training involves going before a jury of musical experts and being judged. It’s exactly as it sounds and is much like a performance review at work, only more humiliating.

The second blow came when I finished my second year of teaching. I had jumped through all the ridiculous hoops, completed the Kentucky Teacher Internship Program, which I have nothing nice to say about, and after two years of teaching my certification expired. In order to renew my certification I had to provide the state proof that I was enrolled in an approved masters degree program. My certification would be extended five years. When it expired again I would be required to show I had completed a masters.

To clarify, the state was not paying for any of this. I was responsible for my tuition and other costs and expected to continue working full time. These were new requirements the state had adopted while I was finishing my degree. People love to say, “You knew what you were signing up for!” Apparently I am also a bad psychic in addition to being a failure of a human being. The state was the first to eagerly adopt No Child Left Behind requirements and bundled this into those rules.

At this time the federal government wasn’t recognizing online students, so I was going to have to commute 60-90 minutes one way after a 10-12 hour work day to go sit in another classroom and try to pay attention. I would also be willing to argue that online education hadn’t quite had its advent. It was after the year this all happened when the government began recognizing online students that the technology started improving dramatically.

The only recognized programs at the time were master of education. I struggled with my true education classes. I felt ultimately destined for failure whether I passed out from exhaustion behind the wheel and died in a car wreck or successfully ensured financial ruin by accumulating six figure student loan debt for a career that capped below median income.

My first and only years of teaching were brutal. I loved my students and sharing music. I understand that I was in my mid-twenties living in a town where my neighbor was my only friend. I had no local support system. And the mentor I had for my internship made me feel incredibly isolated and that I couldn’t trust anyone. I know now that I needed time to grow up. I needed to build a support system that would help me gain resilience. I needed more in my life than a 24x7 job that gave me a guilt trip when I tried to eat lunch or go to the bathroom. I know I would still be teaching under other circumstances and I would’ve been fine. I would’ve grown up and that’s what I needed more than anything else.

I felt like I had no other choice when I walked away from teaching. I felt ruined and still feel cheated. I was broken by my decision to walk away and will always remain devastated. Worse, as I changed careers I entered a job market heading into recession. The impact of this sequence events and how student loan debt has shaped my career are why I own my Millenniallness. I’m on the cusp between Gen X, but debt and the recession have shaped my entire adult life. No, I’m not being dramatic with that statement.

For about a year I couldn’t make music. It was too painful. I was horribly depressed. After some time, I began playing again, but I couldn’t stand anyone to hear me, my husband included. It took years before he knew I was playing again. From there it took several more years before I was able to start playing out. Things I had done before were the safest path, but it was a broken route. Some things I could do and the next day I was frozen and panicked.

In time I joined the Heartland Dulcimer Club and began feeding my interest in folk, fiddle, and traditional music more readily. I found a path, yet the anxiety reared it’s ugly head at the oddest times and in the strangest ways.

In 2016 I began planning. I knew I had to do something and there was nothing worse than singing. So I started making goals. At the 2017 Ohio Valley Gathering I went to a sing a long workshop. I felt that was low pressure enough and I could just mouth along if it got bad. I sang. I made myself go to vocal jams and took a yodeling class. I took classes at the Louisville Folk School with David Brooks, including a class on singing with the banjo. Thoughts of private lessons still freak me out, but I took a Bluegrass workshop at the end of 2018 to make myself sing.

At the 2018 OVG Tucker Thomas asked me not once, but twice to perform. He passed away last summer. And at the 2019 I got up on stage and I sang with my banjo. I understand this is a journey, but I sure hope the next time I get put on the spot I feel a bit less panicked. More work to come.

https://youtu.be/0IXrmfizdok

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redscullyrevival · 8 years ago

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Fool’s Quest: Fitz and the Fool Rundown

And now we wait together @sonnetscrewdriver!

Plot/Setting/Narrative

I’m so embarrassed for my son Rap-a-taskal.

Getting ahead of myself here but take a chill pill kid.

Calm your Tellator tits.

Actually, screw it! lets start at “the end”:

I’m officially caught up now and I’ve been digging around the internet lurking on forums trying to soak up art/discussions/opinions I’ve been avoiding for months.

And the most interesting fannish thing I’ve uncovered is how lots of people are treating Tellator and Rap as two different people - I’ve read several discussions and threads where Tellator was being thought of and referred to as almost like a parasite or something.

I personally didn’t get that vibe when reading Rain Wilds.

I don’t view Rapskal as an innocent bystander taken over by an insidious and other entity, but I can totally see how folks can see it that way so power to them I suppose.

Time and Parenting really come to a point at the end of this book, bounded tight within the thrill of having these two Realm of the Elderlings character axis’ finally meeting!:

And we the reader are, now, FAR more knowledgeable about the magics and histories of the Realm than any one character present! Funny how time and managing our narrative children will do that, huh? ;D

I’m of the personal opinion that the Elderlings are going to be too thankful and indebted to Fitz to really head the level of retribution Rapskal will demand - but that doesn’t mean Fitz won’t make matters worse with his paranoia and how he expects to be treated (Fitz’s “I-deserve-to-suffer” self loathing really reeks in this book and I have no doubt it will harm more than help in the early stages of Assassin’s Fate)

But oh! I can’t wait to see my Elderling darlings and Six Duchies nerds mingle more!

And yes, I do think Rapskal will continue to be an asshole.

I’m invested in Rapskal though and I can’t wait to see what his deal is and how he’ll affect the story.

I don’t know about y’all but I feel Rap is being set up to have some big part to play - but I’ve no clue if it’ll be direct or indirect lol. TIME WILL TELL!

If I had to guess right now (and I’m going to because why not) I’d guess that at the moment Rapskal probably struggles, that he is antagonistic, because he is outside of the narrative’s “Reflection & Parenting as Change” theme and may never fold into that current because of his choice to skip adolescence via-memory stones.

Rapskal doesn’t have a lot to reflect back on, or maybe the issue is he has too much memory or doesn’t reflect at all and only looks forward forward forward. And we know he isn’t a parent as Nortel told us.

Frankly I hope Rapskal can learn from Fitz and/or Amber, I’d like to see him fold back into the narrative flow rather than swim decidedly against it (not that he isn’t uninteresting for doing so, quite the opposite really).

Maybe Rapskal will find something to reflect back on? Maybe he’ll refuse?

But enough about Rapskal!

THYMARA’S WINGS ARE SO BIG NOW. *gasp* I love her.

Do you think when our Six Duchies party leaves Kelsingra they’ll ride down the Rain Wilds River on Tarman?!

*muffled screeching*

Okay okay okay I’m sorry, back into a Fitz and the Fool Rundown not Kristie has deep love for Rain Wilders Giggling.

Fitz

This dummy.

Don’t get me wrong; temperament wise this older Fitz is still my favorite but he’s also so full of grief and self loathing he’s practically useless mid-book.

And that’s fine, Hobb as always does a great job with making me understand Fitz.

But still - OH MY GOD.

You’ve done a lot wackier and intensely strange stuff than admit your daughter is the result of your BFF, your wolf-brother, and yourself’s souls mingling Fitz!

You even come to terms with that fact, even if simply choosing to ignore it for the most part that still means you’ve acknowledged it - you’re willing to painstakingly mine information from any and everyone but you don’t tell Beloved about your daughter’s dream journal?

Um??? WHAT???

Wake up dude.

Just poor decisions left and right.

Needless to say I was very frustrated with Fitz for a while but we worked through it.

Oh my god I friggin’ cried when Starling sung her Epic and Fitz was recognized by the court though, oh man that was so satisfying and mystifying and wondrous.

I’m glad Fitz has for the most part gotten over his issues with Amber and the Fool’s various identities and seems very accepting of Ash and Spark.

Bee

Nooooo!

I mean, “No” to Bee still being on her own but mostly “No” about Bee slowly being blocked out of the narrative perspective!

NOOOO

I’d be fascinated to find out how long she was in the Pillar. Based on the narrative we read and assume she’s wandering about around the same time Fitz and company are but we’ve been given nothing in evidence of that.

INTERESTING

Stay safe my little piglet!

The Fool

Yes.

YES.

I’m very intrigued to learn more about Beloved’s dragon blood transformation and what knowledge will come with it.

What will happen if the dragon is truly dead, who will guide their transformation?

ME THINKS FITZ

But, uh, yeah.

While it was uncomfortable I was rather happy that Fool got angry at Fitz and had no trouble telling him to step off.

I wasn’t very pleased with Fitz myself at the time, I was a bit smug about him getting a tray full of food plopped in his lap.

Well done.

I really hope to witness more of Ash and Spark and The Fool’s bond!

Beloved has been alone for so long, has had the opposite later life to Fitz and his massive family.

And what better than taking in and giving shelter to a son and a daughter?

Good stuff.

Shun AKA Shine

CALLED IT.

Oh Shine, you poor dear.

Shine will become an asset to Nettle, I imagine, and I desperately hope she heals and that Kettricken can guide her well and that court does Shine good.

I’m livid and just overall done with Chade, I’m serious.

I feel as though I’ve given Chade benefit of the doubt over and over again and it isn’t like he is an evil person or claims to be something he isn’t - but uuugh what the hell?

If you’re mister cloak and dagger spider web master maybe reel in some goddamn self control and think ahead on the consequences of your personal actions instead of just those of your King and various eyes within the kingdom, come the fuck on dude.

What an idiot sending both his children to a grieving Fitz and for not following up with any information for his children OR for Fitz.

I’d be so upset if I were Shine, I would’t be surprised if she drugs him.

It’d be poetic in a twisted away.

Why did Chade hide Shine from others as well as from herself? What was he thinking, that she’d have to become less shallow, vain, and self-centered before he’d bestow upon her the depths of her lineage?

Chade moans about being denied learning to Skill because he was a bastard but zip! he seals up his bastard daughter’s power because ???

????!!!!!

ANYWAY

I’m glad Shine is safe and that she and Bee came to a functioning relationship even if not one ripe with mutual meaning and growth.

Lant

Chade-light 2.0 and I aren’t hitting it off so well but I’m trying to keep a level head about this sassy lost child.

His biggest sin is that he is boring.

Or, well, I think my real issue with Lant is that he’s young.

So young.

Oddly young.

Older than Per or Ash or Spark yes but younger than them somehow; he doesn’t see, he doesn’t listen, he doesn’t seem to even think for himself.

Rolling about in his self pity that he can’t bang his sister doesn’t help endure him to me either but you know, I’ll take Riddle’s advice and let time and space do it’s thing so maybe by the time the third book comes out I’ll have cooled on Lant.

Ash/Spark

OH SHIT.

I love themmmmmm.

Oh my god.

I’m really really really hoping that Ash, Spark, Per, and Bee are going to be Gen 2 of Elderling mayhem and stories.

That’d be golden.

Smart as a whip and willing to make their own choices, that’s Ash and Spark.

Brilliant.

Perseverance

Talk about stickin’ to your name!

Per is a sweetie and I really need to stop but I can’t help but see him as my son Charlie.

Which is amazing - but gutting at the same time lol.

What have I done?!

Per is perfection and I really hope Fitz does right by him and of everyone traveling now I feel like Per will help Fitz the most as far as his inner space goes.

Per has a understanding and relationship with Bee outside of Fitz’s understanding of his daughter and I think Fitz’ll need to hear about that and mine Per’s perseverance as their quest wears on.

Highlighted Passages

I smiled as the royal family passed, tears of pride stinging my eyes. Our doing, the Fool’s and mine.

“Vengeance?” I asked quietly. “It’s a poor motive for doing anything. Vengeance doesn’t undo what they did. Doesn’t restore whatever they destroyed.”

“Sometimes thanking someone is more important to the person giving the thanks than the one who receives it.”

“I thought you had come here in fury over what I did to you as we passed through the Skill-pillars.” He stepped back from me. “Oh, I’ll leave that to Nettle. If she hasn’t blasted the skin from your flesh with her words yet, you’ve that to look forward to.

I could not think about it at the moment. I tried so hard, but there was just not enough time or enough of me. And trying was not doing.

Safe. As if “safe” were more important than anything else.

With the instincts of all bullies, they knew that eventually she would have to emerge. Then, in the way of their kind, they would peck her to death for being different.

“Ah, Fitz. I can always trust you to have some sort of bizarre problem that breaks my ennui.”

She breathed as if she had run over nine hills. I stared at her. She had been a stranger, a lover, a nemesis, and a betrayer to me. And now she was my historian.

“Why does understanding come so late to us?”

War and hardship had hardened them; I understood that, but it did not mean that I wished to see my own folk mocked or disdained that they were not likewise hardened.

But all fires, of wood or grief, burn down to ashes eventually.

“Doing something stupid and reckless is not a better proof of your love than doing something measured and powerful.”

“Keeping a child from harm is not the same as rearing one.”

“Steady, I’m pregnant, not ill.”

Both logic and love anchored me where I was and doomed me to the suffocation of waiting.

“Every one of them has witnessed what the Servants have done to their fellows. And each has chosen to serve them rather than defy them. Every one of them is more treacherous than you can imagine.”

Once one knows what heartless people can do, it cannot be entirely forgotten. It always remains among the possible things that can befall you.

“Put it behind you, and think about it again in twenty years. Whatever it was, you can’t change it. So stop clinging to it, and let time and distance do their work.”

“I always fail the people I love the most.” “Say rather that you judge yourself more harshly than anyone else ever has.”

“No soup! Anything I can bite and chew. Or crunch! Is there anything crunchy?”

“That I guessed,” Malta said knowingly. “When first I saw him, I felt as if I already knew him.” She smiled at me as if we shared a jest. I smiled back, without understanding.

“Worrying doesn’t solve anything. I know that. In one way I know it but in another it seems wrong. It seems that if I don’t think about all the things that hurt, all the things I’ve done wrong, then I don’t really care.”

#realm of the elderlings #year of book #fitz and the fool #fandom talks

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gypsyrover-ghost · 6 years ago

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wink wink

thoughts on darkness by winkie pratney, that i happened to take some encouragement from upon reflection this week... Walking in Darkness I am no prophet, nor am I the son of a prophet, but I do believe we're headed for some very dark times in this decade. I really believe in some places it's going to be rough to be a Christian. In many nations believers have already faced trouble and pressure. But what I want to look at here is a "dark time" that doesn't result from the persecution of the world.

This is something that will happen to every single Christian who wants to be involved in the work of God, or to any Christian who has truly set his heart on pleasing God. It is not a problem that comes from other people - and it is not necessarily a problem that comes from the demonic world. It can very well come to Christians from God Himself.

"Who among you fears the Lord? Who obeys the voice of His Servant? Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God. Look, all you who kindle a fire, who encircle yourselves with sparks; walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks you have kindled - this you shall have from My hand: you shall lie down in torment." (Is. 50:10-11 NKJV)

When I first read this passage, I assume it was written to an unbeliever. After all, it deals with darkness. I knew of only three kinds of darkness mentioned in Scripture and, well, everybody knows that darkness comes only to unbelievers! Perhaps it meant the darkness of sin. After all, the Bible does say: "Men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil." (John 3:19)

Secondly, there is a darkness in the Bible that is really ignorance, and the opposite of this darkness is the word "light." This is one of the most basic statements about God in the entire Bible: "God is light and in Him is no darkness at all." (1 John 1:5)

Then, thirdly, demonic power is sometimes referred to as "the power of darkness" (Luke 22:53; Acts 26:18; Eph. 6:12; Col. 1:13).

But the darkness Isaiah spoke of doesn't refer to any of those things. The strange thing about this verse (and this kind of darkness) is that it happens only to people who are walking with God and who love God. It happens to people who are not messing around with sin, and who are not ignorant. There is a darkness that can come to men and women of God that has nothing to do with sin, that has nothing to do with lack of wisdom, and has nothing whatsoever to do with the devil. And the tragedy is, when this darkness comes upon certain people of God, they don't understand what it is and it nearly wipes them out.

Everyone who has set his heart on serving God will have this darkness come at some point. Has it happened to you? You wake up one day to find all spiritual feelings gone. You pray and nothing seems to happen. You read your Bible, and you understand the words -but there is no light. You search your heart and find nothing to match what you are going through. You rebuke the devil, you ask others for prayer, you go to hear your favorite Christian speaker - and nothing happens. No counsel seems to help. No answers answer.

St. John of the Cross called it "the dark night of the soul." Tozer called it "the ministry of the night" Spurgeon preached about "the child of light walking in darkness."Each writer dealt with this differently, but the experience is common. It is not darkness of wrong or guilt or demonic oppression. It is not sin. It is instead an inexplicable sense of loss and uncertainty. It is above all a withdrawn sense of the presence of God.

What Does Darkness Look Like?

The first thing that happens is this: There's a strange sense of emptiness in your life. There's no sign of God. You sit in services and take your usual notes. The message is great, but there is no answering chord of response in your heart. When everyone else is feeling something, you don't feel anything.

So you pray. You get on your knees and tell God you don't feel so good. Prayer usually "changes things," it is said, but this time there seems to be no light from heaven! So you go to hear teaching that has always excited you, fully expecting inspiration to flow like streams of living water - and nothing! You walk out of the service in which everyone else "touched God" and say to yourself: "What in the world have I done?"

Perhaps, you think, it is unconfessed sin. You apologize to everybody. You write letters of confession to your grade school teachers. You go through everything you can possibly think of' but it's still the same. Nothing.

Then you think: "Ah ha! Of course. It's the devil! I haven't taken my authority in Christ." So you do. And? Still nothing.

What you are going through is not new. It came to every major man or woman of God in Scripture. It came to Abraham when he stood waiting for God to accept his sacrifice (Gen. 15:12). It came to Moses on the mountain waiting to receive the Commandments in the "thick darkness" where God was (Duet. 5:22). It came to Job when he "looked for good" and "evil came" (Job 30:26). It came to David when the bottom seemed to drop out of his world.

It came to the prophets and they wept. It came to the godly kings and they humbled themselves. One dark day it even came to Jesus, the Son of God Himself. And if you set your heart to seek God, this darkness will also come to you. You will not be exempt. You will not escape it. It is an essential factor in a deep and thorough Christian experience.

Even in nature you know it's true. Nothing can live in unbroken sunshine. There must be the cycles of the night, and days of clouds and rain. Light and darkness are both essential for plant growth. Non-stop sunshine only creates a desert. What is true in the seasons of nature is also true in the seasons of the spirit. Summer is beautiful, but winter must always come. Don't be surprised at the darkness. Jesus will help you walk in it sooner or later.

Dealing With Feeling

An unsaved girl who had been attending a Christian college once asked me a profound question: Do Christians really love Christ or do they just love the good feelings that come from loving Christ?"

Job faced the same question when his world fell apart and God did not seem to answer. Sheltered in the personal care of God, he had walked secure in the knowledge that God his Friend was also his Provider and Protector. He, too, was a man who feared the Lord, who walked in obedience, who trusted Him. Satan's challenge to God over Job was simple. He said, in effect: "Sure Job loves and worships you. Why not? You give him everything he wants! Take away the presents and he'll be just the same as one of my crowd." So God let Satan test Job. And Job came through - but barely.

Job faced the darkness that is the most fearsome of all to the child of God. Not the darkness of sin, ignorance, or the demonic, but the divine darkness - the darkness of the withdrawn sense of the presence of God.

What can you do to get out of this darkness? Nothing. Nothing at all. There is nothing you can do to get out of the darkness if it is God who put you into it. That is why all your usual remedies fail, all your counselors draw a blank, and all your frustrated attempts come to an eventual exhausted end.

The darkness of God is given by Him, and it will not lift until it has accomplished its work in your soul. Jacob was left alone" in the darkness and "a man wrestled with him until daybreak. " (Gen. 32:24)

You cannot escape it, but you can surely live through it.

What do you do when you are going through the darkness? You say, "Lord, I know that this is a hard place. But what shall I do?" Nothing. Silence.

"Well," you say, "at least show me what to do." Nothing. Yet what is this person in Isaiah 50:10 doing? Look carefully: he is walking.

The first thing you must do when the darkness comes is to do your duty, to keep going in the same direction you were going when the darkness came. You must continue your daily routine.

What did God say to you before you went into the darkness? What was your call when the voice of Cod was clear? Then do it still. Keep on walking. Nothing has changed on the path except your perception of it. Do your duty nevertheless, and keep walking even when the lights go out.

Let him who has no light trust in the name of the Lord. "The name of the Lord is a strong tower the righteous runs into it and is safe" (Prov. 18:10) and "...those who know Thy name will put their trust in Thee." (Ps, 9:10) His name is descriptive of what He is - and He is there. He is the uncreated, unchanging, unshakable God. He is what He always is, and He has not changed in the darkness. He is not missing because you cannot see Him. God is committed in everlasting covenant to you. He is faithful and will remain faithful yesterday, today and forever (Heb. 13:8)

You're to get on your knees and say: "O God, I don't feel You. I don't get any zap from You. I don't feel Your presence. But You're there nevertheless because Your Word doesn't change. Amen.

"Here is something else you can do: In this time of darkness, go over in your mind what God has already done in your life. Those things aren't just little dreams in the back of your head - they really did happen. God really did do them. Now you are going to have to remember them.

Remember what His character is like. When you can't see the way, open the Book and read again what He is like. Recall what God has already done. What have you seen of God in your own experience? Once you said, I have seen His hand, I know what He is like and I am committed to Him forever." Did you really mean that?

Others before you have walked in the darkness. They too, have found that faith is not something you hold but someone who holds you.

The Danger Of False Fire

St. John of the Cross had some rare insight on walking through this "dark night of the soul." He said, "The way in which they are to conduct themselves in this night is not to devote themselves to reasoning and meditation, since this is not the time for it, but to allow the soul to remain in peace and quietness, although it may seem clear to them that they are doing nothing, and are wasting their time, and although it mayappear to them that it is because of their weakness that they have no desire to think of anything. The truth is that they will be doing quite sufficient if they have patience and persevere in prayer without making any effort."

Isaiah 50 contains a solemn warning: You cannot take matters into your own hands! If God does not bring you light, you must not make your own. But some have tried to do just that.

"If God is not going to speak," they say in anger, "then I am going ahead anyway: If He won't show me the light, I will make my own." What they are saying is, "O.K., God, if You're not going to guide me, I'm going to guide myself."

What you have then is an extremely brief and temporary light. It cannot last and will only leave you blinded. Don't do it. Don't make the foolish and futile mistake of lighting your own fire. If God has put you into the darkness, let it do its work in your soul. He got you in - and you can trust Him to take you out. If you light your own little match and then go and do your own thing, you will see in that man made light a destruction of much that God has for you. Walk in what God as already given you to do and remain faithful until new light comes.

The Purpose Of Darkness

You might be wondering, "Why is God doing this to me? How long will it last? How come when I talk to Him He doesn't answer? Why am I not getting any revelation in my life?"

Probably because this is the only way God has of teaching you some very important lessons. And those lessons are basically: Will you obey Him whether you feel like it or not? Will you do what He asks you to do? Will you hold onto the truth He's given you, whether you feel He's there or not?

You say, "Of course I will!"

But how about with no sense of His presence?

Some of you have convictions that God has written and locked into your heart. You think these are so strong, so unshakable that you will never, ever doubt them. Then the darkness comes and you start asking questions. Are these convictions really true or not? What you will find out is whether you really do believe them. The darkness will test your convictions. And the only thing left when the darkness lifts from your life is what you really do believe.

How about your consecration? You had a wonderful experience, perhaps in a church service one time. A totally incredible, miraculous, fantastic thing happened. You wish you had a movie so you could play it back every day of your life. On that day you said, "Lord, I know You've called me. I'm giving my life to You. Hear me, Lord, I dedicate my life to You. I'll never turn back.

"Then darkness comes.How long will the darkness last? A week? Maybe more. Maybe a year. But when the darkness has finished its work in you, everything that can be shaken will be shaken, and only what is firm, real, and solid shall remain.

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Darkness comes to reveal our need of God and God alone. Don't fret over your helplessness and your emptiness - they will be riches to you. God says, "I will give you the treasures of darkness." (Is. 45:3)

When I was a little boy my sister and I sometimes rode into town on the train. Early New Zealand railroad cars had no interior lights in the daytime, so when we entered a tunnel the car would become totally dark for a brief time.

Do you know what happens in such darkness? The pupils of your eyes, which in the sunshine shrink almost to pinpoints, expand wider and wider in the darkness. And when the train suddenly bursts out the other side of the tunnel, the brightness of the world outside is astonishing!

And so with the darkness of God. We do not know or appreciate the brightness of the light we already walk in until we enter this discipline of God. We have absorbed so much that our spiritual perception has shrunk to a pinpoint. We have been given so much that we cannot appreciate what has been shown us. And then God puts us like children onto His train and runs it into the darkness.

But this darkness you are in is only a tunnel. The train is on a sure journey. It is headed without fail to the place you need to be, and the Engineer knows all of the way. This tunnel is not eternal. You will not remain in darkness forever. And ultimately you will come out of the darkness into a greater sense of light than you had when you went in.

Holding The Hand Of God

God is the One who dwells in thick darkness (Duet. 5:22). The darkness and the light are alike to Him (Ps. 139:12). There are treasures that can be found only in such darkness, for there He will show you things about Himself and about yourself that you will never learn any other way.

Remember, you will find wonderful things in that darkness! You will hear the voice of God at the end of the tunnel saying, "Well done, you good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord." We must ask God for courage to go through the darkness ahead. This is necessary because God is going to prepare His people to obey no matter how they feel. You will go through it, beloved - but make the most of it! He will speak to you in that very silence.

When I was a child I remember reading a small plaque that hung on my grandfather's wall. I was not a Christian when I first read it, but I'll never forget the words inscribed there:

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the years,

"Give me a light that I may walk safely into the unknown." He said to me, "Go out into the darkness And put your hand into the hand of God And He shall be to you brighter than a light And safer than a known way." Winkie Pratney 3/20/2012

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adamcurrence · 7 years ago

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Your Journey At Jabbok

Adam Currence

We are all on a journey of faith. Some of us are just getting started. Some of us are near the end of a faithful life. Still others find ourselves at a crossroads, a crucial moment we’ll call “Jabbok” for now:

You’ve lost your job and you aren’t sure where the next paycheck will come from.

You’re saddled with debt and feel helpless to get out of it.

A loved one has passed and you aren’t sure how you’re going to “get over it.”

You’ve been done wrong your whole life and don’t know why God doesn’t seem to care.

The marriage you’ve always wanted seems like it’s never going to happen.

The children you’ve always wanted have now turned their back on you.

The list goes on and on. Our life will ultimately lead us to a crossroads (and probably more than once!). You can be sure that a “Jabbok” is in your future.

The ultimate question we have to answer at our “Jabbok” is this: Will I depend fully upon God or trust my own abilities? Stated another way, will I humbly accept who I am before God along with my human limitations and allow him control over my life?

There was nothing special about the banks of the stream called Jabbok where Jacob found himself one night (Genesis 32:22ff). Neither was there anything special about that night, save for the profound event that was soon to take place. It was at Jabbok that Jacob finally faced God, owned up to who he was, and was changed forever.

Jacob is one of the most fascinating and relatable characters in the book of Genesis, and perhaps the entire Bible. His ability to manipulate events and people are remarkable if not a little repulsive. Born a twin, he came from the womb grasping the heel of his brother Esau (Gen. 25:26). His name means “supplanter” or “deceiver” and there couldn’t be a more accurate way to describe his life. I’ll spare you the gritty details, but Jacob’s life contains a multitude of examples of him deceiving others including his brother, his father, and his father-in-law, as well as instances in which he was deceived and out-witted, most prominently by his father-in-law but also by his sons in his old age. If we were to create a Biblical Hero, we would create the exact opposite of Jacob.

Supplanter, deceiver, trickster…did I say this guy was relatable? Jacob was always trying to get by with his own wits and smarts (aren’t we all?). There came a crucial moment in his life, however, when he met someone “At Jabbok” that he couldn’t outrun, outdo, or outwit.

Because of the character of Jacob’s life, his story is full of fear, chaos, and uncertainty. As we descend upon chapter 32 of Genesis, Jacob finds himself on the run between two men he has wronged in his life: his brother Esau (around 20 years prior), and his father-in-law whom he has just (finally!) made peace with (Gen. 31).

On this night, after sending his family and possessions across the river, Jacob finds himself alone, wrestling with a man literally all night long. The man (it is safe to assume this was some angelic messenger of some kind) was not able to prevail against Jacob, so he touched Jacob and put his hip out of joint. Jacob, struggling and refusing to let go, demands that the angel bless him. The man/angel asks what Jacob’s name is, and then changes his name to Israel. Jacob walks away from this encounter humbled, limping, and changed forever. Jacob wrestled with God “At Jabbok.”

This has always been a puzzling passage, and we’ll attempt to make some sense of it here.

At Jabbok…we realize that life with God is better than life without God. When you think about Jacob’s life up to this point, it is seems unsettled, unhappy, unfulfilled…constantly trying to outwit people (which is exhausting!). Though there are glimpses of faith, it seems that he was still depending on his daddy and granddaddy’s faith then developing his own (which we’ll see more about below). What if Jacob had been “all in” with God from the get-go? His life would no doubt be remarkably different.

Why do we do the same thing? Why do we not commit fully to life with God? Chances are, our lives are filled with more stress, heartache, chaos, and fear when we try and live life without God. A “peace that passes understanding” is waiting on us.

At Jabbok…we admit who we really are. A friend recently pointed out to me a thought by Ravi Zacharias (not sure the exact book this is in) which brought a whole new light to this passage for me. Just gonna leave this here:

“In asking for the blessing from God, Jacob was compelled by God’s question to relive the last time he had asked for a blessing, the one he had stolen from his brother. The last time Jacob was asked for his name, the question had come from his earthly father. Jacob lied on that occasion and said, I am Esau and stole the blessing. Now he found himself, after many wasted years of running through life looking over his shoulder, before an all knowing all seeing heavenly father, once more seeking a blessing. Jacob fully understood the reason and the indictment behind God’s question and he answered, My Name is Jacob. “You have spoken the truth…and you know very well what your name signifies. You have been a duplicitous man, deceiving everyone everywhere you went. But now that you acknowledge the real you, I can change you, and I will make a great nation of you.” Greatness in the eyes of God is always preceded by humility before Him. There is no way for you or me or anyone else to attain greatness until we have come to Him.”

At Jabbok…we cling to God. Jacob wrestled until daybreak…aka all night long. Jacob was persistent, and his greatest efforts were not enough to overcome this angelic messenger after an entire night of wrestling (for the record, I believe this is more indicative of God purposefully letting Jacob struggle so he would see his own helplessness vs. Jacob being strong enough to fight an angel). At this point the angel dislocated his hip as if to say, “You’ve struggled with me all night and I could be done with you with a single touch.” At this Jacob has nothing left but to cling to God.

Unfortunately we often are the same way. It is not until the last possible moment, when the bank account is empty, when our emotions are completely overwhelmed, when our energy is completely depleted, that we finally reach out and cling to God. Why do we wrestle all night? Sometimes, like Jacob, we need to struggle before we realize how helpless we truly are. O to be one of the wise ones who recognizes his need for God early on!

At Jabbok…we stop trying to get by on our own. Jacob had outwitted everyone he came across. He had finally met someone he couldn’t trick or outsmart. When we are brought to our knees at our Jabbok, we realize that our own strength will never be enough to save us.

At Jabbok…we commit to Yahweh being OUR God. In Genesis 32:9, Jacob referred to God as the “God of my father Abraham…God of my father Isaac…” It’s worth noting that Jacob only prayed after doing everything he knew to do (arranging gifts to go before him to appease Esau). Jacob had grown up hearing about God and seeing his faithful family lineage. Jacob had himself had encounters with God (such as the vision at Bethel), but his lifestyle was evidence that God was not really HIS God. Yahweh was his fathers’ God.

Contrast this with Jacob’s statements later in life (33:20, 35:3, 48:15) in which Jacob refers to God as “God of Israel,” God as his shepherd, and One that had been with him his whole life. What changed? Jabbok!

It never fails that times of crisis (either external or internal) can bring about a closeness with God that few other things can match. Though our mindset and attitude can certainly determine whether we draw close to God or further from him, certainly our Journey at Jabbok provides fertile ground for faith to deepen.

At Jabbok…we walk away changed forever. Jacob was never the same as evidenced by his change in attitude about Yahweh God (see the above point). It’s clear through his narrative that, although he was still a fallible man who struggled, he was no longer a man who struggled against God. Jacob also walked away with a physical limp, proving that this was no imaginary or dream-like encounter. It would be a reminder for the rest of his life of that night that he confronted himself, wrestled with God, and was changed forever.

Likewise, when we meet God we can’t walk away unaffected. Sometimes we meet God at our Jabbok like we’ve discussed. But we can also meet God in the ordinary day-to-day experiences; Sharing our faith, the kindness of a stranger or loved one, or simple conversations can be moments in which we get glimpses of God (so to speak). If we are receptive to those moments, they can begin to shape our character. Every person who gets a glimpse of God in scripture is profoundly affected. May we be the same!

At Jabbok…we are given a new name. Jacob was no longer called “deceiver” but was now called “one who prevails with God.” Jacob was no longer a wrestler against God but a wrestler WITH God. They were no longer adversaries but compadres in life’s journey.

When we give our lives over to God, my life is no longer characterized by my sin. I’m no longer a slave to sin, to use New Testament language. I’m not Adam the selfish, the prideful, the lustful, the outcast, the sinner; Instead I am now a child of God, a Christian, one who prevails with God.

At Jabbok…we realize the depth of God’s patience. Though we don’t know for certain how old Jacob was, some estimate that he was anywhere from 80-100 years old when this “wrestling match” happened. He died when he was 148, so around half of his life was spent on the run (from God and man). I imagine God was yearning for Jacob to finally turn his life over to Him, and yet God was abundantly patient.

Isn’t the same true for me? Though there will come a time when God’s patience with me runs out (at my death, for example), God always stands ready with open arms and he desperately wants us to acknowledge our dependence upon Him. I’d rather not wait 80 years to fully come to God, but that’s how long it took Jacob. O the depth of God’s love and patience for mankind!

At Jabbok…we prevail with God. Jacob’s name is now Israel, one who prevails with God. What a difference compared to Jacob, one who prevails by his own deceit. 1 John 5:4-5 puts it best, that faith is the victory that overcomes the world.

Our life will have at least one Journey to Jabbok where we must face God alone to figure out how we’re going to proceed in this life. The stories of scriptures and life experience (mine and others) tell me this is an irrefutable truth. Jacob's life is filled with warning signs that he never listened to and it took God using this moment to bring him to his knees (but really to exalt him!). May we heed the warning signs in our lives and come to God. Have you made a Journey to Jabbok?

#jacob #jabbok

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yessamla · 7 years ago

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RE:d

RE:d, red. the canvas is dripping with red.

red from love

red from loss

the red of a glowing hot iron

a brand upon my skin

the stain you seared upon my heart

how can I thank you?

what can I say?

you graced my life with a gentle touch

turned everything into golda

but that touch clenches into a tormenting grasp

for as much as you have given me

you also take away

a childhood spent together

days filled with laughing and learning

all taken for granted

time gone to waste

you left too soon

I spent so long at your bedside

keeping my vigil

but when I was away

you, with your cruel, cruel jokes

just got up and left me

left me for another home

after you were gone, I searched for you

I needed you

wanting you to somehow appear

but you were always just out of reach

life’s bitter unfairness

I was such a fool

a senseless human

loving something so mortal

putting so much of me into you

a single soul dwelling in two bodiesb

what it is to be human!

stuck in the past

muddling through the present

eyes set on a hazy future

a future not guaranteed

merely a rug to be pulled from under our feet

still, my life meant nothing without you

to others

merely a breeze passing by

but to me

you were as a hurricane

destroying everything in your path

I saw you in all things

I still see you

torturous taunting

never ceasing

no rest for the weary

relief came only through tears

waters of the floodc

for my soul to float upon

misery became me

and there was no escaping myself

in my despair I had found a new friend

but my grief was merely in your stead

as superficial as this life in which we invest so much

only to have these mortal things ripped from us

as thorns on a rose stabbing into our souls

I often still think of you

and wonder how life would be

would we have finished our schooling together?

we so frequently shared thoughts

conversations never to be had again

words I can no longer bear

how would my life be different?

we had the sweetest of friendships

your soul breathed energy

breathed life

into mine

the exhilaration of knowing

my eyes would once again gaze upon your sweet face

such satisfaction

the sweetness of stolen pearsd

I may never taste again

so here I sit

writing these words

a sermon that no one will heare

tears fill my well

ink splattered in vain

and somehow you are with me

I feel you beside me

quietly guiding my hand as I write

and the satisfaction creeps back in

RE:d, red. the canvas is dripping with redf.

red from loss

red from love

for though you take away

you have given me so much

and for that I will never forget you,

the color by which you lived

red, red.

My soul is dripping with red.

“RE:d” Revealed

The true emotional inspiration behind this poem came from the loss of my brother. I happened to be reading St. Augustine’s Confessions in one of my classes at the time and the passage about the death of his childhood friend struck me right to my core. It was as though he was writing exactly what I was feeling. Thus this poem was born and served as my “creative essay” for the class. One of my favorites I’ve ever written. The following was my written explanation of my poem to the professor if you are interested:

The inspiration for this poem came from the passage in which Saint Augustine recounts his reaction to the death of his childhood friend (Confessions IV.iv.9-IV.iv.12). As I was reading this passage, the way in which Augustine described his grieving struck me as very beautiful and heartfelt and relatable. I consequently elected to write this poem from his point of view in remembering his friend.

Being a heavy topic, I wanted to truly embody Augustine’s grieving process so I accentuated this poem being stream of consciousness, hence the minimal punctuation and heavy use of stanza division. Moreover, because the structure is so unorthodox, I wanted to note some aspects of my work that I people who read the poem tended to miss:

Perhaps the most important aspect is the organization of this poem. As he remembered his friend, Augustine jumped from emotion to emotion, traveling between anger, sadness, disbelief, and so on, and I really tried to capture that emotional chaos. I decided to utilize the title to insinuate the topic of the poem, but not openly. Though the choice of the color red was fairly random (other than it being a passionate color), the spelling of the title was very deliberate. “RE:” is the prefix email subjects when replying to a message, and “d” is the first letter of “death”. In tandem, they subtly imply that this poem is Augustine’s reply or reaction to the death of his childhood friend.

Throughout the rest of the poem are various references to other myths or stories, emphasizing the worth Augustine placed upon his friend and the depth of the grief Augustine felt. In referencing King Midasa, I wanted to accentuate the value Augustine placed on all that he shared with this friend—something as valuable as gold. Moreover, in the text, Augustine paraphrases Aristotle’s statement on friendsb, making the quote an obvious choice to include in this poem (qtd by Confessions IV.iv.11). On the more somber side, I allude to the Biblical story of the floodc in reference to how Augustine felt as though his grief was replacing his friend. In doing so, I was intended to hint at the vastness of Augustine’s sorrow. The flood was on a world-wide scale: the vastness and depth that is found in that story closely mirrors the extent of the grief that Augustine was feeling (Gen 7). He got such satisfaction out of that friendship, which I later parallel to the exhilaration and satisfaction he got when he and his friends stole pears from the orchard (Confessions II.v.9).

Finally, Augustine, in my poem, takes a moment to step back and consider why he is writing what he is writing. As I thought about how his thought process, my mind immediately jumped to the lyrics from The Beatles’ song “Eleanor Rigby”e: a sermon that no one will hear,” (Lennon–McCartney). The words seem apropos, as no amount of poems or songs could ever bring back the friend whom Augustine lost. Yet at the same time, Augustine seemed to take comfort in remembering the sweetness of his friendship, which leads to the alteration of the opening phrases in the last few stanzasf. Whereas the opening line is the same each time, the words “loss” and “love” are switched, as well as “take away” and “given”. Moreover, in the final repetition of the color red, the correct spelling is used, underscoring both the passion that tends to be associated with the color red as well as the closing of the poem: Augustine is finished “replying” to the death of his friend and now just wants to be left with the happy memories he has with this person.

#St. Augustine #Confessions #death #loss #grief #poetry #writing #creativeessay

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itsfarmerphil · 8 years ago

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I remember that morning driving into work and a song came on the radio that spoke just that…

Nothing is impossible with God! With God all things are possible! Do you have faith to believe? Do you have the faith to get back up when you fall? Do you have the faith to press on beyond and not give up? Do you have the faith to look for the silver lining? Do you have the faith to dream big? Do you have the faith to move mountains?

I am so glad that I had an encounter with God and received Jesus into my heart and had the revelation that it is beyond rituals and routines but that it is all about having a relationship with Jesus! There we so many times I felt drawn to God but it wasn’t till I realized it was about the relationship that my life was transformed as I am now able to talk with Him and hear from Him at the mountain tops and in the lowest valleys. I can hear Him speaking through His Word, through music, through people talking and know He is speaking to me. God is so good and so faithful! God is still in the business of doing miracles! Consider how many you may be missing because you aren’t looking for them! Consider how many you have had because you weren’t looking for them! Consider how times God showed up to accomplish something and realize you have experienced a miracle!

I know my children are miracles from God! I know that the fact that my kids have gotten to grow up knowing God is a miracle! I know that God has incredible plans for each of us! I know God has great plans for you and for me – they are good – they are to help us – they are to give us a hope and a future!

So if you haven’t started your relationship with Jesus, why not start today! Until you do, life can seem to make no sense and there will seem to be a void in your heart.

It’s Possible With God — Day 134: Bible In One Year 2017

Devotional, Psalms 60:5-12, John 8:12-30, Judges 18, Judges 19

1. Gain the victory … Psalm 60:5-12

To gain victory, we need God! So today ask Jesus into your very situation! So today ask Jesus into your life! Start the journey with a relationship with Jesus!

Today’s devotional speaks to today’s Word from Psalm as follows…

Compared with God’s help, human help is worthless. ‘With God’, David says, ‘we shall gain the victory’ (v.12). He was speaking about physical battles. The apostle Paul writes that our main battles are not physical. They are not ‘against flesh and blood, but… against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms’ (Ephesians 6:12).

David prays, ‘Save us and help us with your right hand, that those you love may be delivered… Give us aid against the enemy, for human help is worthless. With God we shall gain the victory’ (Psalm 60:5,11–12a).

–from Day 134: Bible In One Year 2017

2. Give God pleasure … John 8:12-30

Let’s live out our lives in the light of Jesus! Let’s live out our lives under the cover of Jesus’ blood! Let’s live out our lives in ways that will please God! Let’s trust Him and walk in alignment with His Word and His Will so that we can bring joy and pleasure to God the Father!

Today’s devotional speaks to today’s Word from John as follows…

Do you realise that you can give God pleasure? Jesus says, ‘I always do what pleases him’ (v.29). This should be our aim in life – to please God.

Jesus models for us a life with God. He says, ‘I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me’ (v.16). He says, ‘The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone’ (v.29a). Throughout this passage, we discover something about Jesus’ relationship with his Father.

Jesus says, ‘I know where I came from and where I am going’ (v.14). So many people struggle in life because they don’t know where they came from or where they are heading. They struggle with a lack of purpose and direction in their lives. In a close relationship with God, you can know where you came from and ultimately where you are heading.

Jesus’ relationship with the Father was also the source of his purpose and direction day by day. He says, ‘I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me’ (v.28). He says, ‘The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone’ (v.29a).

This is the model for us. God was with Jesus. Jesus knew he was never alone. There was not a single thing he did without God. At every moment his desire is to please God: ‘I always do what pleases him’ (v.29b). This is what gave his life such power and effectiveness. ‘Even as he spoke, many put their faith in him’ (v.30).

Not only was Jesus with God, he was God.

Twice in today’s passage Jesus says, ‘I am he’ (8:24,28). The words translated ‘I am he’ are the same words that are used in the Greek translation of Exodus 3:14–16. There, God revealed himself to Moses as ‘I AM WHO I AM’. This name came to express both the identity of God and the closeness of God to his people.

Jesus uses this name himself. We do not possess existence. We are born and we die. We receive our existence. Jesus is existence. He is telling the people that God has once again come near to them in him. Jesus is Immanuel, God with us.

It is as we look to the cross that Jesus says we have the clearest demonstration of his identity: ‘So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be.”’ (John 8:28).

Jesus had complete confidence in his own identity. The key to Jesus’ confidence and identity lay in his relationship with the Father. The same will also be true for you. As you spend time with the Father in prayer, in worship, or in reading the Scriptures, your sense of identity and confidence in who you are in God will grow. You can know where you have come from and where you are heading.

No matter what people say about you, you can walk confidently with head held high. Your identity is in Christ. It is rooted in what he says about you and his presence with you.

–from Day 134: Bible In One Year 2017

3. Shine God’s light … Judges 18:1-19:30

With a relationship with God we can turn to Him for wisdom and discernment! We can turn to Him and ask Him what and how we should live! Let’s live out life His way so that God’s light will shine into the lives of the people around you and you can point others to Him so that in all you think, say, and do will bring God the praise, the honor, and the glory in Jesus’ name! Will you choose today to allow the God to lead you and guide you! We need to do what is good, what is right, what is just in love! We can’t go thru life silent! What comes to mind is the quote about all it takes for evil to win is for good men to do nothing…

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Today’s devotional speaks to today’s Word from Judges as follows…

The shocking atrocities committed by Daesh – beheading and crucifixion of innocent victims, widespread abuse of children, the terrible evil of human trafficking and modern day slavery – we live in a dark world. But we are not without hope. With God, light can drive out darkness.

Israel was in a dark period of its history. The people were called to walk in a close relationship with God – under the direct rule and reign of God as their King. Had they lived like this they would not have needed a human king.

However, they were now living in the worst possible scenario. They were not living under the kingship of the Lord, and did not even have a human king to keep order and restrain the chaos.

These were bleak days. ‘In those days Israel had no king’ (18:1; 19:1). They turned to idol worship (Chapter 18). We read a terrible and distressing account of the evil excesses of a lawless land. The appalling rape and abuse and dissection of a woman caused everyone who saw it to say, ‘Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Think about it! Consider it! Tell us what to do!’ (19:30). This was a time of utter darkness, of life without God.

Terrible as this atrocity was, it is not unique in the history of the world. Appalling atrocities can happen when a society rejects God and his laws: it sometimes descends into utter chaos.

Lt Gen Romeo Dallaire, who was part of the UN mission to Rwanda and witnessed the genocide, was asked how he could still believe in God. He replied: ‘I know there is a God because in Rwanda I shook hands with the devil. I have seen him, I have smelled him and I have touched him. I know the devil exists, and therefore I know that there is a God.’

In Biblical language, ‘darkness’ is not only the night but also the forces of evil that can seduce us and lead us away from walking in the right direction, towards the light of life – Jesus who brings light into this dark world.

In a staggering claim, Jesus naturally puts himself in the place of God, and says that he is ‘the light of the world’ (John 8:12). A world without God is a world of darkness. Yet Jesus said, ‘Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life’ (v.12).

When you turn to Jesus you come out of the darkness of life without God into the light of life with him. He leads us out of darkness, conflict and death into the light of life and love. He gives meaning and direction to your life. Not only that, but as we live with God, seeking to please him, we embody together the ‘light of life’ to bring light into our dark world.

You really can make a difference to the world around you. Your life, in Christ, can shine like light in the spiritual darkness in the world around you. As Martin Luther King put it, ‘Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.’

–from Day 134: Bible In One Year 2017

Impossible isn’t a word, it’s an excuse not to try! I remember that morning driving into work and a song came on the radio that spoke just that...

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