#love drawing my sona's all beat up though

[benetnvsch]

he deserves to get hit by a car ,, as a treat

[displaysisbored]

Some Recent Art (Wakfu Fan OCs)

Some recent doodles on my Wakfu OCs + info dumping about them lol. Mostly gonna be focusing on my main OC Solaris (They/She) but some of my other OCs are gonna show up too.

This is Solaris!! They're a Xelor which are basically lowkey time wizards (but they can have other abilities like being able to float and manipulate Wakfu - the game's magic source - into temporary weapons). Although most Xelors are, like, smart and strategic with most of the class focusing on strategy, they're like super stupid and honestly more Iop-ish (basically the game's warrior class) than a Xelor but they don't gaf lol.

Despite the game literally focusing on combat, Solaris takes after me whenever I play the game (aka they can't fight for shit). Because their class focuses on strategy which is something they almost never do, they're usually the one party member that is sorta there to have fun and then die 2 seconds later.

Solaris also loves cats!! That's the whole reason why they have the mechanical ears and tail. Both are mostly for looks but the tail is also used for balance cuz Solaris is a bit of a klutz lol.

In this drawing they're holding Fadezo's first cat - Shitface. Even though Fadezo has like a billion cats in his possession, Shitface was the one Solaris connected to the most and she insists to take care of them whenever given the chance (though Shitface lives up to their name and is kind of a dick to Solaris lol).

The character introduced here is the one I was talking about earlier - Fadezo! He's the first character I created in the Wakfu game (and is also my first Wakfu OC) and he's sort of like the brains of the party next to Ria. He tries to take the game and his class seriously but he does enjoy messing around sometimes.

Oh also this drawing is more of an example of Solaris' behavior when it comes to combat lol. She's the type to just run right back into a dungeon after her health regenerates (or if she loses enough she just does some side quests to level up to unspeakable levels and then beat the dungeon in like 3 hits lol).

Like any other version of my sona, Solaris only has one eye that actually works but I decided to put the other eye to something that fits a Xelor and made it a clock! Canonically it only really moves when Solaris is casting spells but I like to imagine that in some reality the clock is also used as a makeshift watch.

The character next to her is named Ari! She's Ria's sister and is an Eliatrope (basically she can make portals and stuff lol). She's the life of the group and is a lot more lighthearted than everyone else - sort of like Solaris except she's actually decent at combat and uses her high energy to her advantage.

So fun fact! Solaris actually has a face under that mask lol. I haven't really thought of what it looked like but I think I'd like to just keep it up to imagination. I just imagine that whatever her face looks like Ria would probably be an asshat about it (aka the Dream face reveal "HES UGLY" reference lol).

Also the character introduced here is named Ari! She's Ria's sister and is sort of the more reasonable/the brains of the party. If it wasn't a group of friends she'd probably be the leader because of her maturity (despite her being the same age as Ari). She's a dragon but usually takes a more humanoid form because it's like way more convenient than being a giant dragon 24/7.

To end off this post, I have a quick doodle of the types of robotics Solaris would make!! Despite her not being the smartest, she's pretty good at creating little Wakfu-powered robots like the Sinistro (a small robotic owl that can be summoned in game). Solaris would spend most of her free time creating and working on making a fully functional robotic cat (but she finds real cats to be more fun to be around).

That's about all!! If anyone got this far tysm for reading actually I love developing and writing about my characters. I'm probably gonna post pretty frequently but I have like 50 billion OCs with 50 billion different stories so it'll probably take a minute to see the same OC twice (however, Solaris is part of the different versions of my sona so you might see her around more often)!

[lokiiri]

An update.

Hi friends! This is Lokiiri, also known as Loki and formerly known on Twitch and elsewhere under the names LokisObservatory or LokisAdventures. A lot has happened since I kinda dropped off the face of the planet over a year ago. So, as I’m trying to ease back to things, I wanted to give y’all a little update! If you don’t want to read all of it, there’s a summary towards the end.

----------------

This year has been absolutely insane for me. I had SRS in January, and had a rather rough recovery from it all things considered. After a long recovery that saw me on constant pain meds for close to three months, I immediately got sucked back into tax season at my job. As soon as that was over, I finally moved halfway across the country - something I'd wanted to do for over a year at the time. 

I've been using this time of relative solitude to reflect on myself and improve on myself. I feel like I've found a lot of resources that've been just the right thing for me, and I feel more in touch with my true feelings and wants than I ever have been - and it feels incredible. I feel like I'm learning so much about the anxieties and feelings that have driven my life so far, and this learning is slowly enabling me to dismantle those things I want to overcome, and figure out who I really, really am, unfettered by them.

I'm really passionate about where my journey has taken me, and I'm excited to announce that I'll be doing a panel at Midwest FurFest, where I'll try my best to do the topic justice and share some tools I've found helpful for myself on a journey of this kind. I also plan on streaming and recording an online presentation of the panel for those who can’t make it to MFF. 

The furry fandom was instrumental in helping me find my genuine self in a world that had convinced me that life was about locking that self deep within me. I can’t express how much this means to me, and I want to do whatever I can to pay it forward. I hope I can do this topic justice and be a voice that helps others find similar happiness to that which I have found.

Speaking of streaming, I’m going to be returning to that soon as well! I retired from it last year for a number of reasons, including how crazy my life had become as well as some traumatic situations streaming had put me in that I didn’t feel equipped to handle before. But my life has stabilized now, for the most part, and I feel as though I’ve grown, faced my fears, and am ready to come back to something I’ve really missed. 

That said, I want this to be a new start for me, and for a number of reasons, I’ll be using a brand-new account going forward - I’m now Lokiiri on Twitch (https://twitch.tv/Lokiiri)! (You can still call me Loki if you prefer!) I know starting over will make things harder, but I definitely feel more comfortable starting small, with some distance from my previous identity. I have no plans to delete the old account, LokisAdventures, but I also won’t be using it anymore.

Relatedly, yes, I have a new sona now! I love how she turned out, and I’m excited to keep struggling to draw her until I eventually get good at it! I’m also excited to share lots of lore about her! She’s weird and wonderful and she feels so me :>

That said! I also have some news that, at least for the time being, is making me quite anxious. I want to be transparent about that too, because my hope is that my way forward involves the fandom.

Remember how I said I’d been getting more in touch with how I really feel? In the process of doing that, I’ve uncovered a truth that I’d been suppressing because it’s very, very inconvenient in the society I live in:

The usual 40-hour-per-week capitalism grind has a tremendously negative effect on my mental health. It really, really doesn’t work for me, and it never has, and it never will.

See, I’m autistic. I’ve always masked it very well (still haven’t been diagnosed!). The early parts of my life were all about masking, and beating myself up whenever my undiagnosed autism showed. I even had myself fooled by my masking: I operated under the assumption I was ‘normal,’ or that if I wasn’t, then I had to make myself normal in order to survive. It’s something I think a lot of us in the fandom and outside relate to.

I was willing to push myself very, very hard to this end, because I was scared of what would happen if I didn’t. I basically got used to my career requiring me to work myself to the bone to pass muster as a ‘normal,’ neurotypical, productive employee. I managed to do okay at that from time to time, in jobs that were less demanding, but even pretending to be a mediocre ‘normie’ left me totally bereft of energy for anything that I cared for. What free time I had, I could only get myself to use on idle things that ‘pass the time’ rather than being interesting to me. It made me financially comfortable, but the cost was that my life was hollow and unhappy. 

And I find, if I truly search my heart now, I don’t want to go back. And as joyful of a discovery that would normally be in a world in which I had the freedom to pursue what I want… that’s a very scary thing to realize in this world, in my position.

One of the surest signs of my healing right now is that I’m finally unearthing genuine, actual interests - things that I know I want to do, and would love to have already been doing for years. Things like art, music, writing, voice acting. But the problem is that I’m realizing I haven’t developed much in the way of skills in those things. There’s a lot of reasons for this, but probably the biggest one is that, as a former gifted kid, I was always told to stick to what I was “already good at.” If I wasn’t automatically good at something the first time I did it, then it was shameful and uncomfortable and what was the point? I hate how much time that cost me - how much time I could’ve spent getting good at something I actually love doing.

But capitalism isn’t friendly to people in my position. My interests already are more artistic in nature, which usually doesn’t ‘pay the bills’ as well, and I’m behind the skill curve on everything I actually want to do. I’ve tried looking for jobs in my new place that look more laid-back, in hopes they might give me time to build up skills, but so far the job market here in my new place has seemed much less interested in me than I anticipated. 

Combine that with a potential complication with my surgery that I may need some intervention for, and… well, I have savings enough for a few months, but that number just keeps going down.

I don’t know what to do about this, but I have one idea, and I think it’s one that makes sense to try no matter how successful it is. I want to spend a lot of time working on the various things I’m passionate about, and try to open myself up to paid opportunities in those things as soon as I can - as a way of encouraging my work and keeping myself accountable. 

I’m honestly anxious as hell about this all. I’m dealing with a ton of impostor syndrome about it. There are a ton of voices in my head saying this is a bad idea, that it’s ridiculous for me to do this so early. I know most people’s advice would be to just ‘suck it up’ and get a ‘real’ job.

But I have to try this.

I keep thinking about what Badeline tells you early on in the video game Celeste: “You’re not a mountain climber.” It’s so easy to focus on labels and have them box you into things you just ‘can’t do.’ It’s so easy for me to say to myself, “You’re not an artist, a musician, or a writer. This is stupid. You’re wasting your time on something that’s just going to end in failure.”

But I won’t ever know that unless I try. Unless I give myself permission to climb that mountain anyway, and see where it takes me.

So, yeah. I’m in the process of setting up a Ko-Fi along with my stream so that there’s at least a framework for this. I don’t know what to expect, but for now, I’m seeing where this path leads me. Notably, I do plan to make use of my professional background to offer tax and accounting services to the fandom!

Thanks so much for reading, and I hope to see you around. ♥️

Summary:

I’m back, starting fresh under a new name with a new sona! You can find me at https://twitch.tv/Lokiiri!

I took a break for a while due to a combination of real-life things and some traumatic events I didn’t feel equipped to handle, but I feel like I’ve grown a lot since then. I’m hopeful that should similar circumstances arise in the future, that I’ll be better equipped to handle them in a self-loving, respectful way that’s healthy for me and everyone.

As part of my self-discovery, I’ve come to realize the true cost of me trying to shove my autistic, square-peg self into the round hole that is capitalism. Trying to do something different is a scary proposition, but I really want to try. So, I’m trying to gradually move towards being self-employed and making money through what I create. I expect this to take time and work, so I’m trying to be patient with myself! I super super appreciate any support along this journey!

By the way, if you like long-form musings and updates on my life like this, I’ll be using this tumblr blog for that! I want to get in the habit of being more transparent and open about my feelings, but having to do so 300 characters at a time is annoying x3 So I’ll be using this space as a kind of public journal, to talk about feelings and subjects that interest me. If you like that kind of thing, feel free to tune in! (I'll have to learn how all these tags and things work though, weh xD)

Thanks so much for your time, and have a lovely timezone! 💖

[tubbytarchia]

I've been in a little Vrains phase recently. Vrains my love... Vrains my love thoughts...

if you asked me what my favorite episode was then I'd say the one where Kusanagi and Yusaku fuck around doing that one puzzle in Vrains. I love them as a duo so much, Kusanagi being such a cute father/older bro figure to Yusaku yet Playmaker dragging his ass along in Vrains, only made better given what Kusanagi's Vrains sona looks like. Vrains Kusanagi is a stupid nerd (I love him) while irl Yusaku is a stupid edgy little hoodie guy (I love him also). They are soooo cute I will give my life for them

Also the way that, despite being arguably the most botched Yugioh in production, and despite the very obvious quality drops depending on who (I'm guessing) animated the keyframes from episode to episode, I swear to god Yusaku gets the most pretty shots. The amount of screenshots I had to take of his pretty face as I skimmed through every single episode for AMV purposes, is significantly larger than my collection for any other protag. I need to make a compilation of just him looking pretty, but also I'm so excited to work on an AMV again. Finally, I get to almost remember what it's like to be happy. That said, I do wanna draw him too... even though I'm trying to force myself away from fandom fanart to some degree, seeing how unhappy it tends to make me

Ryoken still fave though even though Kusanagi has risen up in my fave ranks so much. You cant beat bullet jewelry gun dude. I hope Yusaku gets a kiss from him (and everyone else too)

Also wow someone read all of my Vrains thoughts wowza. Here's a short preview for the currently very unfinished and unpolished AMV (this is minor spoilers at most) (fast switching lights warning)

[mushroom-for-art]

Au where Mewtwosona didn't escape Team Rocket and is now one of their assets and was traded to another facility where they encountered @blues-sues Rue!

So au go brr for one and for two the guards faces are static cause they're not important yeet I just figured Rue probably isn't allowed to wander without an escort and they'd also want an escort for the new asset. Also Rue I adore you but ur tail stripe gave me so much trouble and for what (don't worry I still love u)

So Rue and the sona weren't actually meant to meet each other yet! By accident they passed each other as Rue left examination and they were taken to examination being traded in from another building

Sona requires limited to no control plans due to being as this building finds out a bit of a dud. No move pool terrible stats no real psychic capabilities they quickly realised why the other building were chill trading them over. She does have good stamina and endurance supposedly and can mega evolve though just requires some assistance with it.

The devices around her neck and wrist are artificial energy introducers. Which translated means they're shock cuffs and collar. To trigger mega evo they just shock her continuously to either activate/energise the mega stone or trigger fight or flight enough to make her mega up. Has a mega X stone. Look team rocket is nothing if not cruel.

Rue and the sona officially meet a few days after this brief encounter for a sparring/training match. They figured hey either this'll prove she can mega evolve and wasn't an absolute cheat by the other building or Rue gets to beat them to a pulp and after we can throw it back at those assholes.

After they watch Rue probably very much winning the spar for a bit (but probably not going all out she can probably tell the Sonas a bit weak and I can't see her actively beating on her just light smacking because she's been told to fight her) they eventually would use the AEIs and it would trigger a mega evolution and apparently access to moves, psychic ability and ferocity levelling the playing field where the match probably gets stopped and called a draw

Sona isn't tiny sona is just far away XD sona is about 5'4 just a bit shorter than Rue but with a shorter tail. She's also usually heavily freckled I just,,,cbas lmao

If asked about the AEIs sona would shrug it off like oh they're just introducing energy into my body and I guess it's a bit overwhelming but they aren't trying to hurt me (honey...) I think if Sona did imply they did it on purpose they probably wouldn't want Rue around her can't have Rue questioning them

Un/Luckily sona was born and raised in team rocket and thus trust and believe them so would be permitted around Rue probably cause yea two who also believes us make friends.

Sonas chest piece in this au is slightly grey off color just a little grey spot around the mega stone, it's nothing to worry about at all Sona tells Rue they were part of a hybrid project but apparently forgotten but maybe not and it was some hybrid feature coming through. Or just a bruise haha! It's all fine :)

Sona doesn't need her glasses when mega for some reason and uses them for distance vision often taking them off to read and such. She would also probably try to help Rue the best she could with mega evolution despite being unable to do so unassisted like she can try to help! Wants to halp friend.

The original idea for the drawing I wanted to do of these two was them on a table together leaning shoulders together just leaning into each other chatting giggling, I was inspired mentally by Rue sitting on the table during her ask time but lmao I had to ✨establish✨ first visual contact.

I might do that eventually lmao. Idk I just love Rue and to some degree Rue going??? Who dis bitch??? Is very funny to me XD slightly offended and challenged by this other two until she realises she's a bit shit and is like oh nvm why was I even nervous.

[jaypsnax]

Art Fight(and not) Things !! Welcome to the grey canvas show. Premature posting for over half of them and late posting for the rest, but reasons for that below the cut. As well as some context for each.

1st is a ref I made for my sona, which has yet to be put up. Been delayed due to working on other things and still not having a name. 2nd is a NB visibility Floofty I kinda just.... cobbled together? Not sure if it’s all that great, *and* it’s late, but... well. Hrgrhrhgrhgrhgr 3rd is the start of the AF things with @snakjomo‘s Journalist, whom I’ve become very fond of in my time consuming Bugsnax content. Their design might be subject to change, but I’ll love em either way <3 4th is Quillda Tiddlything from @calliopepreforms who is ADORABLE, I love her cute lil stubby legs, hair, and oversized glasses. She’s like prime pick up and cuddle material, absolutely amazing. 5th and 6th are both @cheesesteakphil​‘s Orlifa Featherbean (sure do draw lots of journalists, huh?) and the first I got a bit too ambitious with while I hope they don’t mind the slightly shippy content of the second >.> If not then We Are Shaking Hands On Appreciating Floofy

So! Additional context... well, frankly, the Art Fight work hasn’t exactly been going swimmingly. I’ve been trying new things and have Sort Of had ideas, but it’s been just as much sitting still as moving forward, frankly. And I’d felt bad that it seemed like I had nothing to show, while getting frustrated with the inability to properly finish anything. Iunno, I’ve gotten impatient and also in some weird way showing stuff might help my brain move forward. I hope it doesn’t come off as... lazy or anything like that :l 1st image has already been pretty explained. I drew it shortly after the previous reference for a commission because I just wanted to do something new. It’s a little samey in expression and not as neat in terms of composition, while lacking in details like the headphones and lil cassette player, but I figured I could pair them together to shore up on any missing bits. 2nd also pretty self-explanatory, and shows a trend I have with expressions for SURE. Like, left corner of the mouth up type beat. I’m tryna break outta habits with this stuff, but it is Not Easy. That bow tie kicked my ass too. And I’m not sure I’m entirely satisfied with what I came up with, ultimately, but I didn’t want to wait too long either. Even though NB Visiblity Day’s already passed us up regardless. Floofty’s existence means a lot to me and I had to do *something*, y’know? 3rd has a bit of extra detail in that I meant for it to be a sequence. Like Buddy and Filbo sitting at the campfire and all that with a side of Gay Realization and such. The good stuff. Unfortunately, I’d been struggling a lot with composition and have No Idea have to do backgrounds. To the point where I couldn’t come up with anything additional. What’s there is ok, but the missed potential is horribly frustrating. Just hope it’s alright enough. Lighting’s kinda scuffed too, I know. ...I should stop looking so closely. 4th is yet another thing that doesn’t need too much explanation beyond “haha tiny journalist :)” tbh. It’s really not the best little sketch, but I also felt bad not including it? Have To Express The Love And If I Don’t I Die. 5th and 6th are a whole load because I originally started with the first bit from suddenly being struck with the idea of Orlifa in that comfy denim jacket from their ref in snow or smthn. While having a lil detail of when you do that like... exhale from the side of your mouth in the winter thing in mind. Got pretty experimental with the coloring and shading and things like that, which has been a learning experience for sure, even if I’m not 100% of the result. Backgrounds are not and will likely continue to not be my strong suit, but I’m hoping to get better about it. Probably not the best idea to be trying to go all out during a time limited event, however I uh... just care a little too much ahahhh... Had even been trying to take up painting to do a piece of Egg’s(Snakjomo’s) Neme and Cath. Or one of them, at least. SO much brain hurty. Anyway, with that second sketch I just thought it might be neat to do more than one thing for them. I like drawing interactions I know they like Floofty, so.. one thing led to another and there’s that. *Had* to do something with Orlifa for that sweet sweet Floofty Enjoyer and NB Solidarity. Then uh... that’s that. There’s other works, but they’re not really Bugsnax related, so I opted to omit them. While a lot of this stuff is sketchy af and ultimately unfinished, I hope they’re worth at least a little to everyone who got something. Might not be all there is, but my pace is gonna be horribly slow. So (maybe) stay tuned for any of that.

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Chain of Iron theories Miscellaneous

Okay so Chain of Iron is coming out in a month and I have so many theories. You think of a mystery I have three different plausible scenarios for who it could be and how it could go down. I want to post try and post them all before it comes out so I can see if any are correct. Most of my therioes fall under a specific question: who the killer is, why this is changed on the family tree. But here is my collection of smaller theories to start off.

 Baby Carstairs is a boy and his name will either be Emmett (The masculine version of Emma) or Jonah (for Elias’s brother/ Jem’s father)

Elias’s demand of James will be that he has to prove his ability to protect/ keep up with Cordelia by killing a particularly dangerous foe and bring back proof as a offering. (He won’t count the mandikhor because Cordelia had to help him)

 The theory about Alastair actually being from Sona’s first marriage is a good one. But I have one tweak to it. I think he was actually born before Sona met Elias. Sona did not give Alastair a last name at first. She was to afraid that if she called him Verlac or her maiden name then her former in laws would find out about him and steal him. She met Elias they quickly got married. Afterwards Elias adopted Alastair and they fled again. They kept him at home for a couple years, celebrated his adoption day as his birthday and told him he was actually 1-2 years younger than he really is. This will come to light when Alastair gets hurt, and a silent brother tries to comfort Cordelia by saying how strong men are in their early 20′s, and she will say that Alastair is only 19.

Elias does not beat his family when drunk (Thankfully only a small percentage of alcoholics  actually have that reaction, and all hints point to Elias being he kind of drunk who sleeps all day) But he will get drunk again and will go after something else: Cortana. Cordelia will run to her precious swords defense (burning her hands in the process) and Elias will reveal that he secretly hates the sword. Once upon a time he and Jonah stood waiting to see who would be Cortana’s wielder, just like Cordelia and Alastair did. Their father wanted to give it to Jonah because he was older, but Cortana chose Elias.�� Elias will claim that if Cortana had just gone to Jonah instead then he (Jonah) would still be here, and Elias would not be haunted by so many nightmares and memories surrounding his brother’s killer.

This will give Cordelia perspective on how Cortana can cause sadness and start to recolor her view on the sword being all she ever wanted.

Charlotte and Henry, feeling bad about how cut off they are from the boys, will start trying to implement Family dinner’s. Because she is Charles fiance they will invite Grace. These dinner’s will go spectacularly... by which I mean they will be the train wreck of the century.

Matthew will confess to James himself about kissing Grace. James will try to forgive him (the Gracelet will make it hard), but afterwards will be more possessive of Cordelia. At one point he may even ask Cordelia to cease her friendship with Matthew. Cordelia will refuse to on the grounds that she knows James hasn’t ceased his friendship with Grace. Que love triangle drama.

Charles reasoning for changing fiance’s (why he believes he did it) is either that Ariadne wanted them to create and raise children together , while Grace only wants him to buy her a house and help her get away from Tatiana, or he is actually afraid of Mr.Bridgestock and wants away from him.

The Cartwright’s never rejected Grace, that is just what Tatiana told her. In actuality it was a case like with Jem; something was going on that her extended family needed  to deal with first and they had to send her to foster care for a time. Tatiana arranged to adopt her before they could come back for her, then denied them so much as visitation.

Grace will use her powers to convince Christopher to tutor her in science. She will not use them in the lessons though because they are fun.

After  her powers are discovered she will apologize to him and he will forgive her because he had fun to... And she promises to help him work out a way to stop Belial and fix everything

Eugenia decides she wants to join the Iron sisters and is back because, before she leaves for good, she wants to make sure her brother and cousins are going to be okay. She becomes friends with Ariadne (this is a cannon development people why have I not heard more on it) and learn about her past with Anna. She will decide to give Ariadne some help because she wants her cousin to believe in love again.

Eugenia is not awful in any way, “Awful Eugenia” is something Grace heard Eugenia called in relation to the scandal and nicknames her in her head.

In COI Thomas either meets the killer, escapes, then agrees to be live bate to draw them out again; or Lucie becomes a target of some supernatural force and he becomes her body guard.

Thomas will become good friends with Filomena, and will examine the ways he feels about her and the ways he feels about Alastair while he tries to work out his sexuality

He and Alastair will spend time together, quite possibly kiss, before Thomas has that fully worked it out.  Becasue he is still figuring things out Thomas will ask Alastair to keep quiet. Alastair will  take this the wrong way, thinking Thomas wants the same things Charles did, and the two will get into another fight.

The Gracelet isn’t the only “Chain of Iron”. Every pawn of Belial’s is secretly under the effects of one. James and Grace will get theirs off by the end of COI. Jesse and the Killer  will not.

[sylvain-writes]

A Taste (TMNT Leonardo x Reader)

Rated: T (no underage drinking) Prompt/Inspired by @whygz comic (drunk!Leo x sona)

Mikey's 21st is loud. 

You haven’t been able to check your voicemail yet, but now you understand why Leo texted you a reminder to use the far entrance to the lair.  Music pours out from the common room, you’re surprised it can’t be heard from street level.  Raph and Donnie have really outdone themselves for their little brother.  The place has transformed into a nightclub, of sorts.  Dark, with shocks of strobing color, there’s just enough light in the room for you to make out the shapes of the turtles and their dates as they bop and gyrate to the music.  

You make your way through the ‘dancefloor’ with waves and a smile to the small crowd and a big hug to Mikey.  Then it’s off to find somewhere to rest your ear drums for a while.  You make the mistake of walking past the speakers again; they’re loud enough that you're squinting, as though that helps your ears filter out the noise.  In a way, you suppose, it does.  It helps you focus on Leo's lips as he welcomes you to the makeshift bar the guys have set up next to the kitchen.

Greeting Leo isn’t as easy as the quick waves to his brothers.  With him, it’s tempting to go in for a hug, to test a kiss on the cheek.  With him, you have to be more careful; it’s tempting to ask for more than what he’s willing to give. 

You drum your hands on the bar top and look over the selection of hard alcohol, mixers, and beers.  Maybe a drink or two will help you unwind.  It should take the edge off of the anxiety.  You had thought it would ease up once you were seated next to your best friend.  But surprisingly, your heart seems to be beating faster.  You feel like you’re going to vibrate out of your skin and all Leo’s done so far is lean into your side and say hello.  Of course, because of the music, he has to speak directly at your ear in order for you to hear him at all.  

His voice is smooth and his breath is hot as he comments on his brothers’ ideas of fun.  He’s complaining more than you think he really means.  In fact, he seems to talk just to deflect from his own nervous energy.

Even so, you’re grateful he’s started a conversation for you, though it’s stilted and rambly and mostly about how much things have changed in the past few years.  You nod along and offer your support.  It makes sense now, the way he bounces his knees under the table; you know change makes Leo nervous.  It’s one of the reasons you keep your feelings for him to yourself.  You don’t want to scare him off.  You don’t want things to change in your friendship, if it means they’ll change for the worse.

As you consider ‘worse’ and push away fantasies of ‘better’, the vodka and cranberry juice call your name, but you’re not sure you really want all that.  So, you turn your sights on the array of artisan beers to your left.

Leo’s still talking about how scary it can be to take a leap from one role to the next, and you wonder if he’s thinking about giving Mikey some new responsibilities on their team.  You ask as much and Leo looks a little surprised, but then waves off the idea.  His train of thought is all over the place, you think he may be confusing himself.

Over his shoulder, you see the others dancing provocatively with their dates, and it looks like fun, but you'll have to miss out. The only one you want holding you that close is the turtle nursing a beer and occasionally sparing you a glance so intense it makes you look away.

There had to have been a time, you think, before you had solidified your place in the friendzone.  You think, maybe, there had been some opportunity that you missed, where you and Leo could have tried to be something more to each other.

Finally, Leo slips out of his own musings long enough to follow your eye line to the drinks in front of him.  “You thirsty?” 

You shrug and your arm just barely brushes Leo’s as you move.  Shivers run over your skin from that small point of contact.  “I dunno what to try.”  It’s true.  You’d like to avoid hard alcohol and its ‘loose-tongue’ side effects, but the fancy selection of alternatives isn’t one you’d have picked for yourself.

Leo’s cheeks are dark under his mask.  Being tipsy brings an adorable flush to his smiling expression.  “This is really good,” he says, holding up the bottle like it’s some kind of prize.  “Wanna taste?”

You take a peek at the label, but it’s not like you have anything to lose.  With a smile, you welcome the offer, “Sure!”  It’s not the first time you’ve shared a drink, and you think that it’ll be nice to not waste an entire bottle of someone’s peanut butter ale or cherry lager.  But as you wait for Leo to hand you the drink, you end up watching him press the bottle to his lips and tilt his head back.  “So…” you cock your head to the side in question, “can I taste it or...?”

“Yeah-” Leo holds up his hand to ask for “-one sec-”

 And then he kisses you.  

He takes your head in his hands, pulls you halfway out of your chair, and brings your mouths together in an honest to goodness kiss.  Your eyes go wide, but his eyes flutter closed.  The kiss is closed-lipped and soft, and it doesn’t really give you a taste of the beer at all.  You could almost laugh.  You think you would, if your body could catch up with your racing thoughts.  If your heart could slow down enough for you to catch your breath.

Leo breaks the kiss and his eyes blink at you.  Noting your shocked expression and the fact that you didn’t kiss him back, his rambling starts up again.  "I'm sorry, was that not--  I shouldn't have just--"  

He starts to pull away, but you place your hand over his as it retreats to the table.  The caress of your thumb over his knuckles draws his attention to your hands, hypnotizing him as he stumbles through an apology neither of you really wants him to finish.  You don’t want his apologies; you want him to kiss you again.  

After a silence between you that seems to go on forever and somehow drowns out the techno hip hop all around you, Leo turns his palm up to take your hand. “Do you wanna dance?” he asks, although you thought he never would.  

You’re mostly hidden from his brothers by the large arcade machines, but still, you’re grateful the boys have the place dark enough to pass for a nightclub.  It's easier like this, with your back against Leo’s chest.  It’s easier not having to find the words for what you feel.  

It isn’t long before you’re giving into the music and the wills of your bodies.  You and Leo fit together so easily, your hips rolling against his.  The beat washes over you and when you close your eyes, all you care about is Leo's breath on your neck, his hands on your waist, his pelvis pressed against you from behind.  He brushes your hair away from your ear like he had at the bar so that you could hear him over the music.  Only this time, he doesn’t speak.  Instead, he peppers a trail of kisses down your neck to your shoulder and your whole body gives a shiver.  You turn in his arms to capture the next kiss with your lips.  

He pulls you closer and sways into you in rhythm to the song.  You move with him, luxuriating in the warmth that pools and swirls in your belly.  You can feel his arousal brush against you and you press in closer.  You moan and deepen the kiss, but his body responds too favorably to stay in the common room and he asks you to follow him to his bedroom instead.

You nod against his forehead, but he’s still got you by the waist.  He’s still holding you to him and dancing as slow as the music allows.  The smell of hops and ginger fills the air between you as he tries to catch his breath. You remind him of his suggestion to go somewhere more private and all of the sudden, he can't get to his room quick enough.  

It isn’t until he closes the bedroom door and leans back against it that you notice just how glassy Leo’s eyes are.  How lazy his smile.  How slowly he moves toward you.  He kisses you again, but he's so obviously drunk that you stop yourself from pressing your body against his again.

"I don't think we should take this further tonight."

At your words, the blood drains from Leo's cheeks and a new tension overtakes him.  "Oh, I-- I didn't mean to-- We don't have to go further. Of course.  We don't have to.  I understand."

But he's so flustered and apologetic, you wonder if he really does.  "Not tonight.  I don’t think we should go further tonight,” you clarify.  “You're drunk… and my best friend… and-"  You help him to sit at his bed as you struggle to explain why this is a bad idea.  

His eyes shine as they look up at you, glassy and sad.  When he says, “I love you,” for the first time, it sounds like his heart is breaking.

Your face goes tight with the effort it takes not to frown.  Your heart is breaking, too.  "Tell me again when you're sober."  You don’t think that, in the light of day, Leo will be feeling quite the same way.

But Leo rubs his hands over his thighs and swallows hard.  He’s not backing down.  "I'd like to tell you… everyday… if that'd be ok."

It doesn’t feel real.  You can’t let yourself believe him when he’s like this.  You don’t know if he’s ever been drunk before, but you’ve certainly never seen him so loose with his words or affections.  He isn’t in his right mind and you won’t take advantage of the sudden clarity alcohol has brought to him.  

Mindful to keep the boundaries you set, you kiss Leo’s forehead and say goodnight.  Nonetheless, after closing the door behind you, you linger in the tunnel outside his room.  You know you have a voicemail from him still unopened from earlier today.  You open it, just to hear his voice again.  To hear him sober.  To remind yourself that he’s a friend and not really looking for anything more.

But the Leo that you hear on the recording is wrought with just as much anxiety as the one that sat with you at the bar before your kiss.  "Hey, it's me,” he says, and your heart melts a little.  You love how he can say those three words and the world stops spinning. 

The voicemail continues, “The guys are heading out for supplies for tonight,” and Leo’s confidence begins to falter, “I was hoping you'd come by early.”  His voice lifts at the end, like a question.  “There's something I wanna ask you. Well, tell you.”  Then, Leo heaves a sigh and laughs at himself a little.  You turn toward his room and stare as you listen to the rest.  “Well, there's something I wanna talk to you about.  So, come on by when you get this, or whenever. I just…-” another sigh “-I'm really looking forward to seeing you."

As you stand in front of Leo’s door, every nerve in your body seems to be firing at once.  They send fuzzy tingles over your skin, distracting you from the feeling of the doorknob in your hand.  You knock and, at the sound of Leo’s voice, ease the door open.

Leo is still sitting where you left him, on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

“I just got your message,” you explain and he raises his eyes to yours.  “I’m sorry I couldn’t get here earlier so we could talk before the party.”

“Yeah, I-”  Leo shifts and hugs his arms over his chest.  “If you had come earlier, I would have said…”  His gaze drops to your feet until you helpfully supply the rest of his confession.

“That you love me.”

Leo nods as you take steps toward the bed.  “I would have asked you to be mine--my date--for tonight.”

A slow smile spreads across your face.  “I would have said, ‘yes’.”  When Leo looks up at your words, your smile grows.

Hope shines in his eyes, but there’s caution there, as well.  “And after tonight?  Would you-”

You reach out and touch his cheek, then lean down to his ear like he’s done so many times to you already this evening.  “Ask me in the morning.”  

The stroke of your hand along his jawline is full of affection.  The press of your lips between his eyes holds a promise.  You know, even in his intoxicated state, he won’t misread this goodbye as a rejection.  You pull away and he blinks up at you.  Then, before you can move too far from reach, he catches your hand.  You can’t help but hum in amusement as he pulls you closer.  

He asks, “Did you like it?” and your expression pinches in confusion.  The only thing you don’t like about the night is that it needs to end.  But the assurance of tomorrow thrills you.

“The ginger beer,” he clarifies. “Did you like it?”

“Oh,” you say, having forgotten all about the drink Leo had offered before stealing his kiss.  “I couldn’t really tell.”

“Hmm,” he considers your answer with more gravity than it warrants.  Then, with a light touch, Leo’s hands alight to your hips.  He smiles playfully as he guides you to sit in his lap.  “Maybe-” he says as his gaze lingers on your mouth “-maybe, you should have one last taste, before you go.”

The smile you reflect back at him says ‘just this one,’ but you lean in and your lips murmur, “Sure” against his.

[susoftjockau]

art by @badartbysomeguy 

“I can’t believe how cute it is,” Steven giggled, his legs kicking happily behind him as he laid on her bed. Connie did her best to ignore him, trying to focus on her own tablet. “He feels just like me! You were so right. I’d be such a cute golden retriever. And pink! Of course I’m pink. I love pink.”

Connie couldn’t ignore all praise, though, and heat burned up her cheeks. “Okay, you can quit gushing about it now.”

”Never!” He grinned slyly. “Unless you want to talk about the other thing.”

“Don’t you dare.”

He slid up behind her, leaning over the back of her chair so she could feel him towering over her. “What would you be, Connie? You have the power to draw yourself as any animal and you’ve never done it? Don’t lie. What species are you? What’s her name?”

“I have never made a fursona,” Connie said for the thousandth time, her voice as flat as ever.

“Then we can make one. Together.” He stroked her cheek tenderly and she groaned again (along with a few choice swear words). He continued, “You’re so sweet. Smart. Funny. Aggressive. I think you’d be something like… maybe a German Shepherd. Or a Husky.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’d choose something cooler than a dog.”

“Oh. You have thoughts about not being a dog.” His lips came close to her ear in a dark whisper. “You’re halfway there. Embrace the fur.”

She laughed and squealed, pushing him away. “You’re such a dork!”

“A wolf! Like a cooler dog!” Steven suggested, then eyed her face. There seemed to be no affection for wolves there. “No. You want something really cool. Not who you are. Who you want to be. I’m thinking big cat.”

She grinned. “Lion.”

“No.”

“Spirit baby,” Connie insisted. “Kindred love.”

“You can’t kin Lion!” He laughed as she stuck out her tongue. “Maybe you’d be… a tiger. Largest big cat. Strong. Confident. Cool stripes.”

“Nah. I’m not cool enough.” She shrugged.

“You are cool enough, but that didn’t speak to you.” He crossed his arms as he pondered that. “Hmm… ooh, a cheetah! Fast. Nimble. Busy.”

“Feels like the kind of animal that can’t enjoy a snow day,” she teased. “Too frantic. I thought this was supposed to be wish fulfillment. I’m not busy in my fantasies.”

“Then a snow leopard,” Steven said. “Quiet. Private. Definitely knows how to enjoy a snow day. Adorable, but underneath, a rarely seen powerful hunter. Slower than a cheetah but more nimble. Chasing prey over sheer cliffs.”

Connie bit her lip. Snow leopards were pretty. And strong. And cute. By the time she finished zoning out, Steven was beaming from ear to ear, making a giddy squealing sound.

“You’re thinking about it! You’re a snow leopard! Draw a fursona, Connie. Connie. Connie, look at me.” His hands came down on her shoulders as she forced herself to do as he asked. “Embrace it. Draw a sona.”

She flushed and covered her face. “Shut up.”

“Cute kitty paws that could kill a man.” He pushed her hands aside to replace them with his own, squishing her cheeks. “Oh my gosh, you’d be adorable in snow leopard ears. All fuzzy!”

She squeaked. “No! I’ll draw it right now if you promise to never say that again!”

“And a tail!”

“Steven!” She shrieked with laughter as she smacked his hands away. “Forget this whole thing. You’re incorrigible!”

Beat away yet again in his quest to convert Connie to furrydom, he settled back on her bed to admire her previous work. But later that night, after he had gone home, Steven’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He tugged it out to find a very adorable Snow Leopard anthro, with a simple text of, “Help me name her? And don’t say I told you so.”

- @universallywriting​

[cristinablackthornkingson]

Shadowhunters Short Story #68.

It is a warm July day in 1911 when Alastair Carstairs begins to notice his sister Cordelia, acting very strange. It starts out with Cordelia being unable to join him or their friends on patrol or to go visit their mother, father and little sister, as often due to her being under the whether frequently. According to James, it is nothing to worry about but Brother Zachariah encouraged Cordelia to rest as much as possible.

Then once Cordelia was not so sick all the time, Alastair noticed she began to wear dresses that were just a bit too big for her. After that, he noticed that Cordelia was always holding something in front of her, when she sat down it was often a cushion, when she was standing up and walking around she would often hold a book in front of her stomach, and the few times she was not holding something in front of her, she would have her hands on her stomach.

It took him a while, but now Alastair is starting to put the pieces together and is almost certain he has figured out why Cordelia is being so secretive. She and James have been married for 2 years now, they have both spoken about wanting children and he has often caught James resting his hand on Cordelia’s stomach too, Alastair is certain that his sister is expecting, and he is going to get her to tell him one way or the other. 

Currently the siblings are sitting in the living room of The London Institute, waiting for the others to get back from patrol, while Tessa and Will have gone to Wales for the day, to commemorate the anniversary of the death of Will’s parents.  Cordelia is sitting on the sofa, once again holding a cushion in front of her stomach, as she reads a book. 

“Layla?” Aalstair asks, setting his own book down and looking at his sister.

“Yes?” Cordelia answers, turning the page of her book. 

“Why are you holding that cushion in front of you like that?” Cordelia blushes and tries to continue on with her book. 

“Oh, um, no reason, I just like to hold something while I read.” She attempts to divert her brother’s suspicions. 

“Oh yes? Well why a cushion, is it not rather bulky and in the way? Why not hold a pen or something of the like?” Alastair asks. 

“The cushion is comfortable, it gives me something to rest the book on.” Cordelia tells him in an unconvincing tone. 

“Alright I will give you that but it does not explain why you are always holding a book in front of you when you stand and walk, or hide behind James or Thomas, or why I have seen you holding your stomach, or indeed why you were so sick a few weeks ago and have not gone out with Anna or on patrol at all for about 3 months now.” Alastair lists off all the suspicious things Cordelia has done the last few months. Right away, Cordelia knows her cover is blown. 

“I... I.....” Cordelia falters. Alastair grins knowingly. 

“You’re expecting, aren’t you?” Cordelia smiles lightly and nods, pushing the cushion away from her stomach and resting her hand on her stomach. 

“We found out almost right away, but we did not want to tell anyone until later in the pregnancy, in case I lost the baby, we did not want to have to tell everyone that horrible news. We were going to wait a few more weeks, but I do not think it will be possible, I am only three months and already showing.” Cordelia softly says. 

“You are happy, aren’t you?” Alastair warily asks, fully prepared to kill James Herondale if he has made Cordelia upset or unhappy in anyway. 

“Oh yes, I am absolutely thrilled! Jamie is too, we have been so eager to tell you all.” Cordelia says in a joyful tone, her face lighting up with joy and excitement, making Alastair relax.

“I am very happy for you Layla, you are going to be a wonderful mother and I cannot wait to be a Uncle, I will be the baby’s favorite, of course, you know how babies love me, I think Evie loves me more than she loves mama and papa.” Alastair jokes, his smile widening as he thinks of his beloved baby sister, little 7 year old Evangelina Esta Carstairs, who is Cordelia’s double, except for her dark hair, which is just like Alastair’s. 

“You will have to fight Matthew for the position of favorite Uncle, he will have the little one in the best clothes the world has to offer and keep him in good supply of poetry and plays.” Cordelia says in an amused tone. She knows Matthew is likely going to be the most excited out of all of their friends, now he has been clean and sober for 5 years, and is the most wonderful big brother to his little twin sisters, Jane and Matilda, he will certainly enjoy being an Uncle to Cordelia and James’ baby. 

“Oh I will find a way to beat him, don’t fret. Do you know if it is a boy or a girl? Have you told anyone else?” Alastair asks. 

“It’s a boy, the only other person who knows is Jem, he was the one he told me I am expecting, though as I said, I doubt I will be able to hide my bump for much longer so we will likely have to tell everyone else soon.” Cordelia says, caressing her stomach softly. Already she feels incredibly bonded with her baby, she never knew he could love someone as much as she loves this baby inside of her, and he is not even a fully grown person yet. 

“Mama is going to be thrilled, and so is James’ father, a child that is half Carstairs half Herondale, he will be over the moon.” Alastair grins, imagining Will Herondale’s reaction when he finds out he is going to be a grandfather.  Cordelia laughs and nods her agreement. 

“Yes he will, I think I am most looking forward to his reaction. What about you and Thomas, do you want to have children?” Cordelia asks. Alastair and Thomas have been together for 5 years now, they are very happy together and all their friends and family are supportive and loving, well except for Elias, he does not accept or acknowledge that his son is with another man, and only ever refers to Thomas as Alastair’s friend. It is very painful and upsetting for Alastair, and Cordelia and Sona are forever trying to get him to open his mind, they are both just so very happy that Alastair is now happy and in a healthy relationship with someone who truly loves him, they do not understand how Elias can be so close-minded. 

“Perhaps, we would not be opposed to it, but obviously it is not as simple for us to have a child as it is for a man and a woman, but we know adoption is an option and we are open to the idea of having children at some point.” Alastair tells her. 

“Well if you ever do, I know you will be a wonderful father.” Cordelia softly says, reaching out to squeeze her brother’s hand. No doubt Alastair has fears and worries that he will be a terrible father just like Elias, or that he will end up favoring a daughter over a son, like how Elias clearly favors Cordelia and always has. 

Alastair smiles weakly and squeezes his sister’s hand in return.

“Thank you Layla, that means a lot to me.”

A few weeks later, Cordelia really starts to show and she realizes her bump is going to be impossible to hide from now on, so they decide to tell their friends and family. When they walk into the room above The Devil’s Tavern that James, Christopher, Thomas and Matthew still rent, with Cordelia no longer trying to conceal her stomach, they plan to sit their friends down and tell them the good news, however they never get the chance. 

The moment they step through the door, Matthew looks to them and his eyes immediately travel to Cordelia’s swollen stomach. His hand flies up to cover his mouth, and a few seconds later, at the top of his lungs, Matthew yells

“Cordelia is expecting!” This of course, immediately draws everyone else’s’ attention. 

“Thank you Math, now all of London knows, likely all of England.” James grumbles with a roll of his eyes. 

“I am sorry Jamie but I... I am just so happy for you!” Matthew exclaims. 

“Are you really? Expecting, that is?” Thomas asks, avoiding being rude and staring at Cordelia’s stomach, unlike Christopher who is gawping at her like he has never seen a pregnant woman before. 

“Yes I am, a little boy, in January.” Cordelia gleefully says, her hand resting underneath her stomach. 

“Oh that is absolutely wonderful! Congratulations!” Thomas says, getting up to embrace both Cordelia and Jamie. “How are you feeling Cordelia? Do you need to sit? You can have my seat.” Thomas kindly offers. For all intents and purposes, Cordelia is his sister-in-law, as well as a very close and dear friend. He knows from talking to his mother, that pregnancy can be very difficult and harsh on a person’s body. Sophie herself had suffered greatly while carrying Thomas, and Eugenia had suffered terribly when she was expecting her first child last year.

Before Cordelia can reply, she feels a prodding sensation around her lower stomach and looks down in confusion, only to see Christopher with his brow furrowed, studying her stomach, clearly having just poked her. 

“Christopher.” Cordelia weary says. “Did you just poke my stomach?” Christopher blinks up at her from behind his glasses, his eyes wide and full of concentration and intrigue. 

“Hm? Oh! Yes, did I hurt you?” He asks, completely oblivious to James trying to conceal his anger and not lunge at his cousin.

“Bloody hell Kit.” Thomas grumbles, covering his face in embarrassment, while Matthew laughs himself silly.

“Um, no it did not hurt but I would rather you did not touch my stomach at all.” Cordelia tries her best to keep her tone calm and civil, she knows Christopher is not being rude intentionally, he means no harm and is simply curious, but nevertheless Cordelia does not like being touched out of nowhere, and she most certainly does not like Christopher poking her stomach while she is 5 months pregnant. 

“Why not?” Christopher innocently asks. 

“It could hurt the baby, for one thing.” Cordelia says, pushing Christopher’s hand away when he tries to touch her stomach again. 

“Kit, you know how you very much dislike when your mama fusses over you, kissing your cheek and ruffling your hair and such?” Thomas calmly asks. Christopher nods. He adores his mother but is not too fond of the fact that she loves to kiss his cheek and leave a lipstick stain there, and call him all sorts of pet names, her favorite being ‘My genius little boy’, especially in public, around others. No one in The Clave takes him seriously for a number of reasons, no doubt his mother’s constant fussing is one of them. 

“Well Cordelia does not like you touching her the same way you do not like your mama fussing over you.” Thomas explains. 

“Oh I see, I am sorry Cordelia, I was just curious about the baby, I did not meant to be rude or upset you.” Christopher apologies, earning a warm smile from Cordelia. It is hard to stay mad at Christopher, he is such a sweetheart.

“That’s quite alright Kit, just refrain from doing it again.” 

“Well now that that is sorted, I have a question. I am going to be the little chap’s Godfather, right?” Matthew hopefully asks from his position stretched out on one of the couches. 

“No, I should be Godfather, I am the most sensible out of us three and will not encourage the little fellow to do reckless things, unlike you Matthew.” Thomas argues, surprising everyone, seeing as Thomas is very much not the argumentative sort.

“I think I should be Godfather, Matthew you are already the twins’ Godfather,and Tom you are Benjamin’s Godfather, I am nobody’s, so therefore I should be Godfather to Cordelia and James’ baby.” Christopher points out. 

“Sorry boys, but I am afraid that non of you are going to be this little one’s Godfather, we are going to ask Alastair.” Cordelia softly says. She has no doubt that Alastair will be a wonderful guide and inspiration to his nephew, and she knows that if anything were to happen to her or Jamie, Alastair would raise his nephew with just as much love and care as Cordelia and James would, and would bring him up to be a wonderful and amazing person.

“I am very insulted and utterly heartbroken! I hope you are proud of yourselves James and Cordelia Herondale, you have absolutely shattered my heart and all my hopes and dreams, I shall never recover!” Matthew cries dramatically, throwing his head back and throwing his arm over his face, all the while fake sobbing.  

“Shadowhunting is wasted on you Math, you would be an excellent actor.” James says, shaking his head at Matthew’s antics. 

“Oh I know, it is absolutely dreadful! I belong on the stage, not in battle!” Matthew exclaims, peeking at James through the gap between his arm and face. 

Cordelia and James spend a few more hours with The Merry Thieves, before they decide to pay Will and Tessa a visit at The Institute and tell them about the baby. 

As predicted, both Tessa and Will are utterly thrilled, especially Will who is delighted that his first grandchild will be half Carstairs and half Herondale, and Tessa is very happy that the baby is due around the time of her birthday, these last few years birthdays have been bittersweet for Tessa, though there is only a year between she and Will, Will is starting to show his age, while Tessa looks exactly as she did at 21. 

Of course it is not that Will is going gray and getting wrinkles that upsets Tessa, she will always love him no matter what, but every sign of aging that Will shows and she does not, reminds her that one day in the not too far future, she will loose Will and she will never be able to have the comfort of knowing that one day they will meet again. However, knowing that this year she will have a sweet and beautiful grandchild to love, makes the idea of her birthday a lot less frightening and painful. 

The months fly by, with Cordelia receiving check ups from Jem every few weeks. James wanted to decorate the nursery by himself, insisting that Cordelia should rest and let him do all the hard work, however one steely look from his wife and James relented, and together the two of them decorated the nursery, often ending the day with Cordelia sat in the rocking chair under the window of the nursery, with James kneeling by her side, his head bent to her stomach as he talks to the baby and reads to him. 

Just two days before her due date, Cordelia feels the first contraction, when walking through Hyde Park with Lucie, discussing Lucie’s first novel that was published just weeks before. When Cordelia felt the first pain, it sends Lucie into a right panic, one would think she is giving birth, not Cordelia. Lucie quickly helps her parabatia back to the carriage, where Cyril Tanner’s son Edward Tanner, is waiting. Edward was born just a few months before Lucie, and like his father he now serves the Shadowhunters at The London Institute, his main duty being chauffeur, like his father.

Just 2 hours after feeling the first pain, Cordelia gave birth to her son, a beautiful and perfect little boy who is the very image of his father, with thick black hair just like James, brown skin like Cordelia and somehow, big grey eyes, just like Tessa.

While Tessa and Lucie stayed with Cordelia while she labored, James, Matthew, Christopher, Thomas, Anna, Alastair and Ariadne waited outside, in the small area that they use as a waiting room for the infirmary. The boys had come to support James and meet their nephew as soon as possible, while Anna had shown up to keep the peace, knowing James would likely be very on edge and snap at someone, causing a row, and Ariadne had come to help her wife keep the peace, and to be another person to help Cordelia (who she is close friends with) if she so wanted. Before they came to The Institute, Anna and Ariadne had dropped Benjamin off with Cecily and Gabriel, who were thrilled to spend time with their grandson.

Undoubtedly, the two most nervous people in the room are James and Alastair, James worried about his wife and son, while Alastair is concerned for his little sister and his nephew. James has been pacing up and down the length of the room practically the whole time, wincing every time he hears Cordelia scream in pain, from the infirmary. 

Alastair meanwhile, has sat quietly the whole time, worrying at his lip, also wincing every time there is a yell of pain. 

Now, as he sits thinking of his sister and wanting to do anything and everything he can to relieve her pain, Alastair feels a warm hand land on his shoulder, and he turns to see Ariadne sitting beside him and looking at him with concern.

 Years ago, when Charles broke off his engagement with Ariadne and Alastair broke off his relationship with Charles, Ariadne and Alastair became fast friends, both knowing the pain of feeling like you are not good enough in your parents’ eyes, as well as the pain of being attracted to the same sex, when so many people view it as wrong, evil and sinful. They also both knew how horrible Charles can be.

Ariadne shared how though she was glad not to be marrying Charles any longer, she was upset at how he treated her, brushed her aside, almost ruining her reputation while she was unconscious after being attacked by a demon. 

Alastair in turn told her how hurt and angry he was that Charles simply seemed to use him, how he claimed he did love him but would never even consider telling anyone else, not even his parents, who he knew were very open and accepting, due to Matthew never hiding the fact that he is attracted to both men and women. It was obvious that Charles loved nothing and no one more than his job. 

Over the years they grew closer and closer, and have been very good friends for a long time now, Alastair is always first on call for babysitting little Benjamin and is undoubtedly one of his favorite uncles, and one day if Alastair and Thomas have a child, there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that Ariadne will be godmother and the little one’s favorite Aunt.

“Are you alright?” Ariadne quietly asks. Alastair smiles weakly and nods. 

“Yes, thank you, just worried for Cordelia and her baby.” Alastair replies. Ariadne slips her hand into his and squeezes it reassuringly. 

“Of course you are, she is your sister and she is going through something right now that you cannot help her with, I cannot fully understand as I do not have siblings, but you know I love Kit and Alex as my own brothers, I cannot imagine hearing them in such awful pain and being able to do nothing to help them.”  Ariadne softly says, trying her best to sooth and re-assure her friend. 

“It is possibly one of the most awful things I have ever endured, I have always felt it my place to protect Cordelia, that is why I kept my father’s drinking problem a secret, even though it killed me inside I could not let it affect our Layla. Now I wish I could go in there and take all her pain, I would do anything to help her.” Alastair quietly says in a strained tone. 

“Oh Alastair, I understand this must be absolutely terrifying for you, but childbirth is completely natural and Cordelia has the best medical support one could wish for, Brother Zachariah delivered practically everyone in this room, apart from you and I, and he cares about Cordelia just as much as you do, he is your family after all and he will do anything and everything to ensure that Cordelia and her baby are well and healthy.” Ariadne gently explains. Before Alastair can reply, they hear a loud cry coming from the infirmary, causing James to immediately stop pacing.

Just a few minutes later, Tessa appears in the doorway, smiling brightly at them all. 

“Mama, are they alright? Cordelia and the baby?” James asks in a concerned tone, rushing to his mother’s side.

“Yes my love, they are both perfectly well. You have a very healthy little boy, Jamie.” Tessa softly assures him. 

“Can I see him? and Daisy?” James hopefully asks. 

“Of course, Cordelia has been asking for you. Come on.” Tessa gently guides her son into the infirmary, to meet his son for the first time.

About twenty minutes later, Alastair is called in to meet his nephew, and in no time at all he finds himself sitting in a chair by Cordelia’s bed, cradling his tiny little nephew in his arms, utterly relived that both he and Cordelia are alright. 

“Well I have to admit it Layla, you made one very handsome and adorable little boy.” Alastair says in an amused tone, softly stroking the baby’s cheek. Cordelia laughs lightly, leaning back into the pillows behind her. 

“Thank you, I think so too.” 

“Have you chosen a name for him, or shall he forever be ‘Little fellow’ and ‘Little Chap’?” Alastair asks. Cordelia’s smile broadens at this, excitement lighting up her face.

“His name is Owen Alastair Herondale.” Cordelia proudly announces, rendering her brother absolutely speechless. 

“I.... Oh Layla I.... I honestly do not what to say.” Alastair stammers. He had not been expecting this at all, but he simply could not be more thrilled. 

“Well I do have one other thing to tell you that I very much hope you will have a response to. You already know that we have asked Lucie to be his Godmother, and Alastair, James and I would love it if you would agree to be Owen’s Godfather.” Cordelia softly says. Alastair quickly feels tears fill his eyes, and his throat tighten. Not too long ago he was certain that no one would ever care for him, after the nasty rumors he spread about Matthew Fairchild, as well as Charlotte Fairchild and Gideon Lightwood. Yet here he is now, holding his nephew who was named after him, being asked to be the little fellow’s Godfather, while his friends and boyfriend wait outside just a few feet away. 

“You seem rather instant on making me cry today Layla.” Alastair laughs, wiping at his tears. “But I shall forgive you, and of course I will be Owen’s Godfather, it would be my absolute pleasure and honor.” Cordelia grins and leans forward to peck her brother on the cheek. 

“Thank you, I love you Alastair.” Alastair makes a face and dramatically wipes at the spot where Cordelia had kissed him on the cheek, before smiling softly at her and leaning forward to kiss her forehead. 

“I love you too Layla.”

[flamma-nocturna]

-to all who find this, hi! name's Vo, short for Violet, and I'll be your host for my lovely little dumpster blog!

-you can also call me C4, Petrichor (Pet for short), or Cell

-all info about me is in the blog bio! (tho i still think i should make a carrd or smthn-

-i post hella inconsistently, but im usually around here from around 10am-1am est, if ya care (unless i say im inactive of course h-)

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My Sideblogs

-Just Shapes & Beats- @long-live-the-boss (returning!!)

-Pokémon- shhh.. coming soon!! (..probably)

-Vent blog- @demon-in-my-head. bc i can't keep putting that crap here.

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-please read this before following! and if you do follow, drop a like here to let me know you read this, pls!!!

-this will be edited when new stuff is added, so check back here every now and then!

-last edited- 6.10.2021

-all other info (sona ref, blog icons, tags, likes, uncomfies, dni's, etc.) is under the cut!

Sona Refs

-updated!!!!!

-click the image for better quality, if needed! ^-^

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Blog Icons

-current icon and past ones, just so you know if you've seen me before!

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Personal Tags

Some topics may have multiple tags!!

-Art tag- vo's art gallery, my art

-OCs i draw or talk abt will be tagged as original character, along with oc: [name of the OC]

-Me talking/rambling- vo yaps and yaps

-all asks will be tagged as [url of the asker] (or anonymous, if it came from an anon)

-^^^ i pretty much do this to be organized (and out of habit), but if ya don't wanna be tagged, do tell me!!

-Any music pieces or WIPs I post- vo's tunes, original song

-all albums will be tagged album, along with [the album's title]

-all singles will be tagged single, along with [the single's title]

-Reblogs (if at all)- rebloggle

-Things I consider important (or just straight up are important, like huge vital info posts or smthn)- important

-Vents- vent

-all my vents will only stay here for some time before being moved to the vent blog

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Likes & Hobbies

-Drawing (duh)

-Music (mainly listening, but ive been dabbling in making!)

-Designing OCs!! Hell yeah!

-srsly i have a lot plz ask id love to show them off-

-also do share your ocs w/me please i love seeing them-

-Games! Hella games!

-Space/astronomy is v nice

-B/ugs are p cool, too

-So are aliens/extraterrestrials

-And robots-

-Secretly a sucker for picrews and those lil quizzes n stuff. likely wouldn't do them publicly tho,,,

Current interests (in no particular order)-

💜Pokémon (ultra beasts especially h- 💜💜💜)

💜Just Shapes & Beats

Drawn to Life

Project Arrhythmia

Splatoon

Hollow Knight

💜Transformers

Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Portal/Portal 2

probably some other stuff, i can't remember rn...

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Things I'm NOT okay with

-NSFW (bruh for the love of all that's holy and not, no horny around here)

-IRL Current Events (news, politics, drama, etc.) (only SOMETIMES it'd be ok)

THOUGH, that DOES NOT mean I won't ever reblog important posts. I absolutely will, if I see it.

-Certain media followings (please don't try to outright send me/show me these i beg you-)

H*zbin H*tel or H*lluva B*ss (pain)

Fr*day N*ght F*nkin (fear)

MC*YT stuff (i.e. Dre*m smp, etc.) (yeesh)

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Don't you even look at me if you:

are racist (including and especially wh*te supr*macist)

are any form of lgbtq+ phobic (from homophobic to biphobic, from transphobic to aspecphobic, etc.)

are a n*zi or support them

support tr*mp

are prejudiced against certain religious people(s) (antisemitic, islamophobic, etc.)

are xenophobic

do/fetishize/support (r*pe, p*dophilia, inc*st)

or are, in any way, shape, or form, a huge piece of shit, akin to the aforementioned.

^And if you even dare to cross my path, I will have you blocked/reported on sight.

[thomaslightwood]

A Kind of Magic

Chapter four: Who wants to live forever

But touch my tears with your lips,

Touch my world with your fingertips,

And we can have forever,

And we can love forever.

Forever is our today.

•  •  •  •

Alastair tried to read the article for the third time. The words just couldn't reach his brain. With a sigh Alastair turned the page of the newspaper. In the last week he couldn't concentrate on anything actually. He had work to do but he mostly trained because that was the only thing that seems to calm his mind.

“I'm ready,” Layla appeared at the door at his room. “Should we go?”

“Finally,” he closed the newspaper and put it aside. “It took you forever.”

His sister frowned at him. 

“It's not true. Only thirty minutes. Besides,” she added, “I could go alone.”

Alastair raised from his seat and left his room, following Cordelia to the front door.

“You know pretty well this isn't my idea.” It was their mother's. Layla and Lucie had to train together and there was an Enclave meeting at the Institute today which Alastair wanted to attend. So his mother said they should go together. Nether Cordelia nor Alastair were very excited about it but they had no choice. 

“I know,” she sighed while they were getting in the carriage. With a little bit of worry, Alastair noticed. He couldn't blame her for worrying about their mother. He did too. Alastair wished Sona to finally tell Cordelia about her pregnancy. Maybe this way his sister would be a little bit calmer.

When they arrived at the Institute it was surprising to see that many people were already there for the meeting.

No one paid Alastair and Cordelia much attention when they entered. Though Alastair saw many familiar faces. Young faces. Many Nephilims were injured, disappeared or killed, leaving their children to deal with this situation. 

Cordelia found Lucie in the crowd and Alastair, without much choice, followed her. But then he detected that Thomas stood right beside her. His heart went up his throat. 

“Darling Cordelia,” Lucie hugged his future parabatai. 

“Lucie,” Layla said, smiling. “I thought the meeting starts later. Why there are so many people so early?”

“Well,” Lucie said, looking around. “I think most of them are just very worried about their close ones and want more information. Though there is none.”

“Excuse me,” Thomas said quietly and went in the crowd, looking tense. He doesn't like crowds, Alastair thought absentmindedly, looking after him. He wanted to stop him, to say he wanted to talk with him, to apologize. But it wasn't the right place or time. And as much as Alastair hated it, he didn't have the courage.

Thomas came to two people who Alastair recognized as Anna and Gabriel Lightwood. Thomas' cousin and uncle. He was a little surprised to see Anna Lightwood. He knew that she had never has interest in politics. But she was probably here because her mother, Cecily Lightwood, was injured by these new demons. Though Gabriel himself looked ill. Like the wound of his wife had an effect on him too. 

Alastair envied their close relationship. His only cousin was a Silent Brother who he didn't meet at all. His father would never be someone Alastair could rely on. He had to keep secrets from his mother and sister.

Though none of the Lightwoods seemed happy in the moment. Rather serious and even worried. Like Sona, Layla and Alastair were since Elias was arrested. Maybe every family had their own problems after all.

To look at them, especially Thomas, was painful so he turned his gaze to Cordelia and Lucie. They were deep in a conversation so Alastair left them alone.

“Alastair?” He turned to the familiar voice. Ariadne Bridgestock. She smiled at him. “Do you have a minute?”

“Of course,” Alastair said. Actually, he had plenty of minutes until the start of the meeting which would be spent thinking about Thomas so he didn't mind some distraction. “What's the matter?”

She stepped closer and said “Is it true that your relationship with Charles is over?”

This caught him off guard. He quickly looked around to see if anyone was listening to them. 

“Yes, that's correct,” Alastair answered quietly. “Why are you asking?” 

Alastair doubted Charles shared anything from his private business with Ariadne. They weren't that close.

“Just... Lately he seems more edgy I think. I thought it might have something to do with you.”

Alastair frowned. Before two or three days they talked and then Alastair made himself absolutely clear: he didn't want to be with him anymore. Charles couldn't believe it at first but eventually he said he understands. Alastair wished him happiness but he didn't want to get involved with Charles anymore.

“Well, I hope he gets better,” he said only.

Ariadne nodded. After a few seconds she asked “Sorry if this is too personal to ask but am I the reason for your separation? Because I wouldn't want to be.”

“By the Angel, Ariadne,” Alastair looked at her surprised. “It's not your fault by any means. It's just...” Alastair found himself unable to stop the words from his mouth but at the same time they hardly came out of it. “It's Charles. And mostly me. I wasn't... comfortable in our current state. I... I didn't want to hide and lie about us. I couldn't stand it anymore. I even don't know how I did it for so long.”

Some sort of a pain flashed in Ariadne's eyes. “So you... didn't want to be his secret?”

“Yes, something like that,” Alastair said. 

Ariadne's eyes were on someone in the crowd. He followed her gaze to there. It was Anna Lightwood. Alastair was startled for a moment. He didn't know they had any relationships. Was it possible to have something between them? 

Alastair looked at Ariadne again. Her face didn't say much but her eyes spook enough. Did Anna broke Ariadne's heart? Anna was a famous heartbreaker.

Ariadne turned her attention back to him and smiled with an effort. “However. I just wanted to let you know that if you need you can always talk with me. I assume not many people know about... your situation with Charles.”

“Thank you,” Alastair answered, surprised. He thought about the pain in her eyes looking at Anna Lightwood. “You can tell me if something is bothering you too,” she looked him in the eyes. “I mean it.”

Ariadne cast one more glance at Anna. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I appreciate it.”

They stayed this way for a while. Without talking, every one of them looking at the person they desired the most. 

•  •  •  •

Alastair shut the door after himself as quiet as possible. His mother, Cordelia and Risa were probably asleep already and he didn't want to make noise. Though they were in the other part of the building but Alastair didn't want to risk it. 

He patrolled for hours by now. With Ida Rosewain and Martin Wentworth, around Lambeth. Although they didn't meet any new demons. Only a few Iblis and Hellhound. Nothing new in other words.

Alastair began to count the spears he had to clean while going to his room. After thirty minutes everything was in the right place and Alastair was in his nightwear. He was checking if all the windows and doors were closed and turned off almost all the lights when someone knocked at the door.

Alastair astonished. In the name of Raziel, he just wanted to sleep. With seraph dagger in his hand, ready to fight if there was threat, Alastair approached the door slowly. He opened the door fast, raised the blade high. 

But there was no need. Even in the dark he could recognize Thomas' figure.

“Good Raziel,” Alastair gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“Can... Can I come in?” his voice was husky. 

“Yes,” Alastair said, faster then he wanted to admit. He moved from the door so Thomas could come in and closed it after him. “The kitchen is the next door, you can sit there. Wait for a minute.”

Alastair went fast to his room to leave the dagger and to take one candle. He didn't want to wake up the rest. Also took his witchlight just in case. 

When he came back into the kitchen Thomas was sitting on one of the chairs. His head in his hand, elbows on the table. 

“Thomas? What's wrong with you?”

He didn't respond. Alastair frowned and came near him. He had a bad feeling.

“Thomas,” Alastair said quietly. “Show me your face.”

He heard how Thomas let out a trembling sigh. 

“Thomas,” Alastair repeated his name again. But he didn't move. Alastair pushed his hand away from his face and tilted Thomas' chin up to get a better look.

The sight stopped his breath. There was a bruising around the left eye. A small trickle of blood trickled beside the other. Big blue mark on his jaw. This weren't wounds from a demon. But human hand.

Alastair looked him dead in the eyes. “Who did this to you?”

Thomas lowered his eyes and moved his hand away from his chin.

“It was just a silly fight with the boy I was patrolling. The other Shadowhunter was older, it was a shame to be so childish in front of him...”

“Thomas,” Alastair growled. “Who?”

Thomas closed eyes for a moment and let out, “Piers Wentworth.”

Alastair clenched his hands into fists. He was gonna kill him. He would make him regret that we was even born.

“Alastair,” Thomas breathed. “Calm down, please. It was really stupid. His father is on his deathbed. He was upset, I wasn't in the mood and we just lost it. Gerald Highsmith was very angry and told us to go home.”

Alastair didn't want to hear excuses for Wentworth but to break his neck. He was so angry. How dared this scum to touch Thomas.

Alastair looked at his face. Now wasn't the time. But later he would make Piers Wentworth sorry.

“Do you have stele?” he questioned.

“What?” Thomas asked confused. 

“In Raziel's name,” Alastair groaned. “For your wounds. You need iratze.”

“Oh,” Thomas said embarrassed. “Yes, you're right.” He gave Alastair his stele from his pocket.

Alastair tilted his head back, exposing his throat. “Don't move,” Alastair muttered as he leaned down. He put his hand on the other side of Thomas neck to keep him steady. His pulse was beating fast under Alastair's fingers while he draw the rune. 

“Why you came in my house though?” Alastair murmured.

“I was close and I didn't want my family to see me like this. And I... I hoped to see you.”

Thomas was so painfully honest that it took away Alastair's breath. When he was done with the rune Thomas shifted his head a little bit forward so he could look Alastair in the eyes. Alastair didn't move. He could feel Thomas' breath on his face. 

“Alastair, I...” Thomas' word was barely a whisper. “That day in the park... I...”

Alastair still could feel his rapidly heartbeat. His lips parted a little bit.

“I didn't mean. It was... it was a misunderstanding. Can we still be...” he was panting.

Alastair senses were swallowed up by him. He couldn't see anything but his hazel eyes. He couldn't hear anything but Thomas' heavy breathing. He couldn't feel anything but his skin.

Alastair knew it was a bad idea but it was somehow inevitably. Before he knew what is happening Alastair tilted Thomas' head back and pressed his mouth against his lips. He was kissing Thomas Lightwood.

Thomas made a soft sound, a little surprised. Like he couldn't believe what was happening. Alastair couldn't too. 

He felt how Thomas' hands slid on his arms, to the elbows. Fire was running through his veins. There was a sound but Alastair couldn't tell who made it. Maybe both of them. 

After a few seconds he broke off the kiss and pulled his hands away. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have...”

But he couldn't draw away because Thomas grabbed his face and crushed his lips into his. Alastair groaned. If the first kiss was gentle this one was nothing but desperation and hunger. Oh Raziel, Thomas' fingers were buried in his hair. They kept him in place like Thomas was afraid Alastair was going to run away from him. Alastair had no such intention. His own hands were on Thomas' wrists. 

He had no idea how much time they spent on kissing but the need of air forced them to stop. They parted only a few inches, breathing insteady. Thomas eyes were still closed like he dreaming.

“By the Angel, Lightwood,” he murmured, pressing his forehead at Thomas'. His heart was beating crazy. On Thomas' face was no trace of the brushes, he noticed.

He slowly opened his hazel eyes. They shined with strange light. “Does that mean you...”

“Yes,” Alastair said. He breathed out shakily. “Yes.”

Thomas smiled and Alastair's heart just missed a beat. As much as he didn't want to, Alastair pulled away from Thomas. He had to think and Thomas made him dizzy. He pulled a chair and sat on him. His knee almost touched Thomas'.

“I...” Alastair began. He swallowed. “I'm sorry. For that day in the park. I shouldn't have left like that. It wasn't right.” He couldn't look Thomas in the face. “This is not excuse but in the same day I ended a long relationship between me and... my lover.”

Alastair heard how Thomas took a sharp breath. “Was it... a man?”

“Yes,” Alastair answered. “It was a man.”

For a few seconds there was a hush. Alastair waited for Thomas' judgment. Then he felt how Thomas was taking his hand and said softly. “If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you.”

Alastair said automatically “I'm fine.”

But then he looked away form their hands to his face. Thomas expression was solicitous, his eyes full of concern. Alastair realized that Thomas... cared a lot. Indeed.

“Actually, I'm not,” Alastair released. “I... I don't think I am.”

Thomas squeezed his hand. He asked quietly, “Do you want to tell me?”

Looking at his face, Alastair thought that Thomas was the most kind hearted person he has ever met.

“It will take long,” Alastair whispered. 

“Well,” Thomas held Alastair's hand with both of his and said, “Imagine that the world has one sweet moment set aside for us,” he whispered, “And this is tonight.”

Alastair closed his eyes for a moment. He didn't deserve Thomas' kindness. Alastair took a deep breath. Let it out.

And started talking about Charles.

•  •  •  •

“How was the patrolling last night?” Sona asked.

All three of them were on the table, having breakfast. Alastair drank from his tea before answering.

“It wasn't bad. Though nothing happened. We met only common demons, nothing unusual.”

“You seem in good mood today,” Cordelia mentioned with a smile before taking a bite of her eggs.

“If you say so,” he answered neutral.

“Layla is right, Alastair joon,” Sona added with a smile. 

Alastair rolled his eyes. “You are imagining it.”

But he secretly smiled, thinking about last night.

       Getting off the carriage, Alastair and Cordelia saw that there were too much people in front the Institute.

Alastair notice Inquisitor Bridgestock, Will Herondale and Gideon and Gabriel Lightwood, even Charles. Not far from them he saw two figures who he didn't know. One pale girl and a black haired boy. He spotted James Herondale near them but he was looking for Thomas. Maybe he wasn't here. 

“What's happening?” Cordelia wondered beside him. He wanted to know the same.

“Cordelia!” Lucie appeared and hugged his sister. “You're here, thank the Angel.”

“Lucie,” Cordelia embraced her future parabatai. “What is this? What is the Inquisitor doing here?”

Lucie squeezed her arm. “Because aunt Charlotte hasn't come yet. I believe she will be here soon.”

“But what is happening? Why the Blackthorns are here?” Layla frowned. 

Lucie gave the girl and the boy a sad look.

“Because Tatiana Blackthorn is dead.”

•  •  •  •

A/N: Part of the kitchen scene is inspired by this prompt by @whumpster-dumpster. Also, you can look at the London's map to get a better idea of ​​the mentioned places.

[ultravioletproxy]

[Sona] Hine Cross (Proxy OC)

I've finally done it. I finally finished an actual sona reference up as well as finally completing a updated digital reference of HINE! I'm so very pleased with this and how my art has progress since his original reference, all those years ago... I actually was able to get up the energy to go fully in depth with his information and soon I'll get to his backstory comic going.

❖⊗❖⊗❖

Personality/ Mental State:

Basic summary; Hine is a VERY complex character. He has many layers to his personality which I'll try my best to explain. He is a quiet person with a lot on his mind, constantly bombarded with various thoughts which makes it hard for him to keep track of all that's going on around him. Hine "Zones/ Spaces Out" occasionally and does not realize that you're talking to him, he might even not respond to you in the middle of a conversation. All of these things may come off as rude; but he really doesn't mean to be.  Later on in his timeline/ as he grows up, Hine becomes much more of an unstable person, laughing a little too loudly at things (and volume control in general), walking off in the middle of conversations, and tends to get a bit unhinged...

Hine has several mental disorders that can effect his personality:

⊗-Autism: Doesn't pick up on social cues, and it takes him a while to think of a response when in a conversion, in turn he pauses and stutters. With autism comes anxiety, if in a high strung social environment or decision, Hine may have a break down (Sitting down and grabbing his shoulders tightly), He does not let people see him break down, he will go to a private area to try and cool down before coming out into view and acting perfectly fine. This luckily, doesn't happen often as he's trying to cope with his social anxiety. During a conversation Hine may accidentally say something that he doesn't mean, like a mess up of words(Saying something unintentionally mean as he just didn't think how it would sound when spoken or combining two words together.)

⊗-Compulsive liar: He doesn't ever mean to lie, a lot of the times he feels as though a lie is safer than telling the truth and before he even knows what he's done, the person has accepted the lie as truth and he's too afraid to tell them that his response was false. This stemmed from abuse during his life at the orphanage. He currently is trying hard to pull away from this.

⊗-Minorly a Paranoid Schizophrenic: Sometime this disorder makes him feels like everything and everyone has an ulterior motive, even though the thought is completely irrational. Hine mentally beats himself up for having these kinds of thoughts as he feels like he's betraying his loved ones/ friends. The thoughts themselves tend to be of a violently disgusting nature as they try to convince him that everyone is lying. He rarely witnesses hallucinations, mostly just little shadowy things in his peripheral vision.

⊗-Hypochondriac: Do to being mixed with a Slender, and his fear of dying, he constantly feels like his body will just give out on him, or that any sickness no matter how minor will end up killing him in one way or another, he's very paranoid of random aches and pain, irrationally telling himself to accept the fact that he's just going to die.

⊗-Sociopathic Tendencies: Hine has a hard time grasping that other people are just like him and have emotions, thoughts, and a consciousness. He tries quite hard to convince himself that other people are essentially sentient like him.

⊗-Unintentionally Manipulative: When living in the orphanage Hine was treated poorly due to his lack of social abilities and therefore was mostly ignored by the caretakers and fellow children. He desperately tried to figure out ways in order to be able to get a break from the constant chores and duties that he was given since he would not participate in being social with the others. He(not exactly intentionally) developed ways to read people in order to get what he wanted, again, not in a particularly malicious manner. More of just a way of survival.

Habits/ Quirks, Likes, and Dislikes:

⊗-Quirks/ Habits: Hine has quite a few funny little habits. One being collecting, he just adores collecting various things from silverware, to plushies, to seashells, really anything he finds the least bit intriguing and holding sentimental value. He is a little bit of a pack-rat you could say. He also has a bit of a compulsion to essentially "preen" or "groom" himself. For instance; cleaning under his nails, picking fuzz off a shirt, or even idly pulling hairs. He also has a lot of trouble finishing hot drinks, particularly coffee as he tends to forget about them, they get cold, and then he's too lazy to heat them up. Hine is mostly nocturnal as bright lights make him disorientated. Another not so good habit include Stress Smoking developed from watching a certain Slender and a friend smoke and seeing how it relaxed them. He occasionally delves into cannabis (Once Mr.KittyKitty comes around) due to the many medical benefits it has, such as anxiety relief, being more talkative, painkillers, motivation, or to calm him down.

⊗-Likes: He loves long walks alone in nature, particularly next to streams/ rivers either in silence or with music. He loves listening to the wind through the pines, the birds chirping, the sound of rain hitting the underbrush, and classical music. He loves pickled foods/ the taste of vinegar, as well as eating, and cooking in general. He tends to be rather indecisive about his favorite foods as he likes way too many, although salt and vinegar chips, popcorn, pomegranates, and cherries are a few of his favorites. His favorite drinks are Earl Grey Tea and Shirley Temples. Animals he adores are Bears, Raccoons, Ferrets, Ravens, Barn Owls, Coral Snakes, and Cats. He absolutely loves to draw, he makes his own characters and story lines, he also delves into other artistic feats such as crafting, painting with water colors, and sewing. A good book/ movie in the supernatural or horror genre will keep him content for hours. He loves dark humor, and coming up with ridiculous jokes(Blaming that on L.J.), and has a penchant for spouting the most random of facts. He really loves to talk to others and tries his best to keep up with them even though he has a hard time figuring out a response a lot of the time. Lastly, he has a weird enjoyment for the smell of disinfectant chemicals and has a particularly strange fixation on tornadoes...

⊗-Dislikes: He very much dislikes crowded areas, physical interactions, cities, thunder/ loud noises. He's not too fond of overly cutsie things. He can't stand highly sweetened foods or drinks (Candy, Cakes, Chocolate); once in a while/ a craving is fine, but he'd much rather take a bite of fruit. He doesn't care for baking all that much except for making breads at which he's none too shabby at. He doesn't care for bright colors unless they're mixed with dark ones.

Relationships:

⊗-Significant Other: Is in a delightfully happy relationship with flannelRaptors's Character, Johnny.

⊗-Slenders: When he was young, Hine ran away from the orphanage, he found his way into the forest where lovely Splendorman welcomed him with open arms and tendrils. Soon after, Slenderman himself took interest in Hine and became some sort of a strange father figure to him. The other Slenders joined in with helping take care of Hine. Trender helped his practical artistic side, while Splendor helped him understand his emotions, social cues, and tame his wild mental health state, Slender was his stable rock, and Offender schooled him in street smarts and how to deal with the "real" world.

⊗-Other Creepies: As a quiet person, Hine mostly sticks to himself, however if the opportunity presents itself, he absolutely loves talking to and learning about other people's pasts, Likes, etc.

Basic Background Summary:

⊗-Past: When Hine was young his parents were murdered by a trusted family friend they’d met from the church they attended. This person in turn, kidnapped and tortured Hine for quite some time, until Hine was eventually freed. However, as a mentally scarred young boy, shipping him off to an orphanage didn't really bode too well and he eventually ran away to join the Slenders' care and eventually became a "Proxy" to Slenderman.

Basic Background Summary:

⊗-Appearance: Hine has many abilities as shown above, however there are a lot more details and catches than what's written on the reference sheet. As the acronym may explain, Hine does not have any eyes. In an accident in which Hine almost died, Slenderman gave Hine an essential blood transfusion. The Slender blood, being incredibly aggressive, took over a good chunk of Hine's DNA giving him not only Eyeless vision, but also tendrils, an extra set of blood vessels, and a whole new horrible form.

Slender Affected Abilities:

-Hine can still see, but he now has what is called "Slender Vision" which is a 360-degree sight range, meaning he can see in all directions at once, ultimately maddening when first getting used to it. This is one of the reasons why Hine is constantly distracted. The range of sight and focus can be altered however it is rather difficult to do so as he was not born with the ability. Most of the Slenders can see a good mile or so around them while Hine has a shorter, about 50 ft range. Hine, not used to his new vision, rarely turns his head to look at objects that he is focusing on, due to there not being a focal point of eyes, therefore he tends to come off even more blank and emotionless than he really is.

-Hine's tendrils are hidden beneath his skin in what are called "Ports". Hine has a total of eight "ports", 4 on each side of his back. The tendrils can painfully be pushed through his skin at will, ultimately piercing through his back. He's supposed to constantly leave them out so the holes can seal up around them (much like a piercing would), but to do that he would have to keep out of sight from all other non-slender beings, as him being half slender is a well-guarded secret. The tendrils can lengthen and split apart to form thinner smaller pieces due to their "braided nature". However, in the early stages all of Hine's slenderification, his abilities are all INCREDIBLY clumsy.

-Other attributes Hine’s gained include, but are not limited to: heightened versions of all the senses, Moderately increased strength and speed. A bit of an iron stomach (ex: can eat raw meat), and more advanced healing rates (the less severe the slower it heals).

-With all these benefits came quite a few negatives. For instance, until he gets used to it, Hine's depth perception and hand eye coordination is completely off. His two blood types sometimes mix and therefore cause him to become incredibly ill for short periods of times, his varying blood colors also result in a pale yellowish grey complexion. Hine’s body has an unnatural slimness to it; he experiences continuous, nonstop increase in height in addition to having disproportionately long and lengthened arms and legs.(He has to make his own custom clothing.) Due to these things Hine suffers from minor growing pains as well as occasional cravings for human meat/ flesh. (Inherited from the dietary nature of the Slenders)

I applaud you if you read this all! Here's a TLDR version of this massive piece:

Hine is a mentally and physically scarred orphan who grew up with all the Slenders as his family. He came close to death at some point, but Slenderman saved him by transfusing his own blood into Hine, resulting in a well-hidden secret. Hine got really cool abilities with a few pretty bad side effects and is now an official Slenderman Proxy.

❖⊗❖⊗❖

Artwork, Concepts & Character © to RoneOmbre

⊗-Terms of Service-⊗

[salavante]

Odwain! The goodest.

Wow, featuring one of the more flattering drawings I’ve done of Odwain. Like last time, I’ll post all these guys separately and then do all the headshots in a masterpost. In the meantime buckle up for...a lot. (Thank you for giving me my favorite character.) 

Full Name: Odwain Novak. In Ben Yit’gab, the Bennai language, his first name would be Oediwen, and it’s what his dad called him. His mother calls him Oddy and he does not like it.

Gender and Sexuality: Male and Bisexual

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity/Species: Odwain is a Ben-Aleth, a Human-Bennai hybrid, also called a mosshead if you’re in coarse company. His human mother Blanche Novak is mixed race. Odwain’s maternal grandfather came directly from Earth, Poland specifically, during one of the several accidental migrations of humans coming from Earth to The Road. His maternal grandmother is from a previous wave who were already settled on The Road by that time, but the family can trace her ancestry back to West Africa. Odwain’s father, Ashatov Novak, was a full-blooded Bennai, a plant-based halfling race. Ashatov took his wife’s last name.

Birthplace and Birthdate: Thinking about this trips me out man. Odwain was born in 1946, sometime in the summer, probably July or August, in Septor Secundis, a coastal, metropolitan city and the seat of The Road’s government. He’s 27 during his first adventure and right now, in Godslaughter, he is 69 (what the FUCK). He will live maybe 20 or 30 years longer than your average human, and is in better physical shape than a human would be at 69. He’s more like late 40’s or early 50’s.  

Guilty Pleasures: A lot, probably - Odwain has just a bit of hedonistic streak just because he feels miserable so much of the time that he needs to feel good somehow. He smokes cigarettes for much of his life (but eventually quits), is a casual cannabis smoker and binge eats really truly terrible junk food (and has a bit of a gut because of it, but because he’s kind of lanky otherwise, he’s just kind of gourd-shaped). He likes beer, but doesn’t drink hard liqour all that often because he gets astronomically bad hangovers. Despite having a generally weak stomach, Odwain really likes frightfully spicy food, and his kids’ obligatory dad-gifts for him are probably hot sauces. When he’s not pounding down garbage, his favorite kind of cuisine is Thai. Not a guilty pleasure per say, but he also loves all things that have to do with insects, and when he and Rusty have a house together, Odwain takes up gardening as a hobby and plants an expansive garden of flora that are attractive to bees. (A Nice Thing: Odwain plants this garden when Rusty is pregnant because he found his love of insects through his father’s garden as a child, and wanted to give his kids the same opportunity) Odwain also maintains an apiary from the time that he’s living in a warehouse in the desert, to when he’s living with a partner and beyond. When he learns how to make Hot Honey it’s over for all of us. He has a modest collection of novelty bee-themed things that he’s amassed over the years, but he is not guilty about asserting his love of bees/wasps, like, at all. He’s also a little kinky but I’m not going into that.

Phobias: All of Odwain’s fears are existential - what if I push everyone away, existing in society is anxiety inducing, what if I’m just a bad person and my existence is making everything more difficult for functional people, etc. Though he’s kind of a sad fellow and has ideated suicide, and came very, VERY close to trying to kill himself after he dropped out of college, he also fears growing old and dying. I think death is more digestible to him if it’s on his own terms, but even then, I think what coaxed him off the edge was fear. If anything ever happened to his chosen romantic partner or any of his kids, he’d be besides himself, and is kind of one severe trauma and emotional breakdown away from becoming a bee-themed supervillian.

What They Would Be Famous For: Odwain is notable at a certain point in his career for being a pioneer in AI programming, and also for designing, building and patenting an invention called the Hercules Rig, which is basically a beetle-wing inspired jetpack. You can see it here. He holds the patent very closely and only allows it to be reproduced for recreation, construction, emergency rescue operations, etc. Odwain has taken a very firm stance on not allowing the military or any paramilitary organization to get their hands on it, though it has not stopped them from making shitty knock-offs that he is constantly suing people about.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Breaking and entering. Exploding something he shouldn’t. Buying illegal hazardous materials. Doing something petty that bites him in the ass.

OC You Ship Them With: To be honest there are not a lot of other characters besides Rusty that I ship him with. Bitter college rivals, thrown back together as late twenty-somethings, becoming better people together and learning to express empathy and vulnerability…it’s good. The only other character that I really go yeah, that’s the good stuff, is Jake’s character Finnick, who is kind of Odwain’s weird BFF and fellow mad scientist type. I don’t think they’d have a super stable relationship, and I think it would most likely be a “we yelled at each other and had weird sex enough that we like each other now” kind of scenario. But I do think they would come to love each other and have each other’s back to the death. Him and Hemlock, my dirty swamp witch who’s only picture was devoured during the great tumblr purge, also make a pretty fun couple for similar reasons. Iona too, but I think they are too explosive of personalities to ever find a stable middle ground. I also think he would find certain people attractive (August, Hare, Ganzrig, Ifechi the man I have spoken of but once, Jonquil in certain scenarios) but may not put himself out there to pursue them.

Neither of us have ever posted any art of her but here’s a few headshots of Finnick I did awhile ago, because she really is my favorite romantic partner for Odwain aside from Rusty, and is the only other one that’s really relevant in our games. 

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Odwain is fairly physically fragile and to be honest I think that most people could kill him as long as they could get their hands on him - he’s very dexterous and has a lot of gadgets that let him get the upper hand, keep enemies at a distance or escape. He has a ranged fighting/add-spawn build so he is mostly out of direct harm unless he’s reeled in somehow. But uh, Odwain IS dead right now in Godslaughter, he died fighting an eldritch deity named Dreamer who sucked him into a nightmare dimension and flayed his soul out of his body. It’s ok though, as long as the party beats Dio, he’ll be fine. I didn’t cry you’re the one who’s crying.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Ok, so, first off HAHA Odwain canonically likes Transformers and collects them, which are a thing in circulation after the last human migration from earth in the 90’s. Imagine. Imagine your grown ass father with a genius level IQ and multiple patents collecting plastic robots. Him and Finnick have transformers sonas - ANYWAY, that aside, he doesn’t really read for pleasure, just information, and generally just puts on cable while he works for white noise (and in later years, whatever The Road’s TV streaming service is). Most of the media he consumes is incidental to him, but will get interested in strange things that pique his interest. He probably thinks true crime docs are neat and enjoys pulpy sci-fi stuff that he can complain about. Any documentary about bugs. He’d like Mystery Science Theatre if they had it around. He enjoys things that are the fun, good kind of “bad” and has a fairly high threshold for  disturbing imagery.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Odwain is that guy who makes 20 minute long youtube videos lampooning movies for “not making sense”. If there’s anything that breaks his suspension of disbelief, his attention and tolerance disintegrates, even if it’s just one of those things that needs to happen to move the plot along. It doesn’t really matter what genre it is, though he is most hard on sci-fi and fantasy. There is a tipping point for him, however, where he starts enjoying the thrill of blasting something and circles back around to enjoying it.

Talents and/or Powers: Odwain is only a little bitty bit magical, and only because Bennai are the most magical race on The Road. He has latent magical ability that allows him to sense magical signatures and incorporate magic into technology, and maybe cast a low level spell if he tries really hard. If he was in a high fantasy setting, he’d be an enchanter. His staff (the big lightbulb thing I draw him with sometimes), the Hercules Rig, his Wasp Suite (robotic wasps with an AI and different spells loaded into them) and any other devilish, bug-based weapons and utility objects do his work for him.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Odwain’s a bit of a tough walnut to crack because I think that he shines in moments of sincerity and vulnerability, but he has to, well, get there. He’s capable of very great, thoughtful acts of selflessness and compassion, and deeply desires meaningful relationships with other people, but he gets insecure about how he expresses himself and can clam up. He’s passionate, emotional and expressive, but has been put down for being so, and was probably a very brilliant, curious child who was beaten down into a somber adult. I actually think that, at some point in his childhood, he was not entirely unlike Whitty in the way that he was eager to share things with people and explore the world around him, which is why Odwain feels very protective of his grandson. I think the most lovable thing about him is that when he’s at his best, nothing can stop him - he’s extremely intelligent, diligent, creative and innovative. He truly, deeply loves making things, and making them better, and when he’s not in a crash, creates prolifically. What he loves, he loves deeply and without compromise, which makes Rusty, a person that could also be said of, a good match for him. I also think his cattiness makes him very witty, he’s a genuinely funny guy who can engage in some really goofy shenanigans when he’s feeling up for it.  

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Oh, lots of reasons. Odwain is an acquired taste to many, or just not to many’s taste at all. He is very petty, blunt and catty, and as a young man is extremely bitter and negative. You’d be very hard pressed to get a positive statement about anything out of him between the ages of 16-25. He’s very confrontational, can become very loud and intense if it’s something that he feels is important, and is not afraid to cut people out of his life if he feels that they aren’t good for him. Sometimes, he will end relationships/friendships prematurely because of this. Being such, he is heavily prone to self-inflicted isolation. He has no childhood friends, and only kept in touch with one person from college. He just cuts and runs. Odwain’s self-loathing runs very deep, which makes it hard for him to accept, or ask for, emotional support or affection. And that can be hard on the people around him who care about him. His executive dysfunction can also be abysmal, making it seem like perhaps he is messy or lazy, but he’s just kind of a mess himself, hah.

A weird non-psychological one but I think is enough to get someone’s hackles up is that Odwain doesn’t like animals very much unless they are insects, invertebrates, etc. He finds mammals loud, messy and needy, and that “I’m the only one in my house that is allowed to be all of those things”.

How They Change: As Odwain ages and gains a stable support network of friends, his edges soften and he learns how to ask for help more effectively. He also learns how to better choose his battles, and how to exercise the compassion that he knows he has, but has been too insecure to utilize. He manages his mental health better, but is never entirely free of it, because you never really are. Most importantly, I think, he learns how to forgive the people who deserve forgiveness, and give people second chances, accepting that people can change. Which means the same can be said for him, too.

Why You Love Them: I’ve talked about this before, somewhere, I’m sure. Odwain is one of those characters that has a very big slice of my personality, and has a lot of my more negative traits, though they are ones we’re both working on. My first session with Odwain was a scene where Odwain’s dad died after being ill for a very long time, and as it happens, it was on father’s day, on the first or second father’s day after MY dad died, after several brutal months fighting with the cancer that eventually killed him. I had to put down the dice, so to speak, and for a short time, thought that Odwain might actually be a character that I scrapped completely. He came too close to something very painful and personal. I don’t remember how, exactly, but the solution to this problem of mine was that if he’s getting close to me on his own, then I might as well just let him in on everything. I can genuinely say that doing that has changed the way that I empathize with my characters and how I make them, and that there is something I share with Odwain that I don’t have with many of my other characters. Also, I like bees.

[halfgap]

ooo id love to hear your feelings bout hzd

It’s a lot of fun!!! For the first 10 hours all I could hear whenever Aloy talked was Chloe Price though, hahah. I’m glad Chloe is living her best Badass Huntress life. I just finished Maker’s End so I haven’t gotten too far (I think?) in the main story (and haven’t touched the Frozen Wilds DLC at all) yet so I can’t reaaally comment on what’s going on with the game’s themes/story but… beating up robot dinosaurs is pretty dope??? Aloy being so white makes me sad, especially since chunks of the game feel v much like they’re borrowing from different parts of Aboriginal surface “““aesthetics””” and from my understanding, when people tried to start a conversation on that, the devs felt very…. weird and dismissive which super rubbed me the wrong way, even if the game is clearly drawing inspiration from a whole slew of different cultures. I’m still thinking on it. All of the worldbuilding rn with the Tribes makes Zero sense 2 me but I need to progress in the game & learn more I guess.

Also this is just a very personal Me hang-up, but lol I want!!! More ladies!!! In this game!!!!!! Aloy is amazing but is it wrong that I want her to be surrounded by more lady NPCs??? I love Sona. & I know there’s that Sobeck lady who is obvs important to the plot (altho I dunno where that’s going) but like I was so looking forward to meeting Ersa and then it was just :(((( Sry but I don’t really care about her brother lol. (Also it’s annoying how Weird everyone is about the Nora being supposedly a matriarchal culture but again, whatever, this is a Me Thing)

I want Aloy to have friends. I love her & I love how cocky & confident she is, and I wish we got more of those aggro/insightful/emotional dialogue choices bc they’re fun!!!

The shit that went down at the Proving made me EMOTIONAL. All of it. Also right before it — “Not this time, Aloy” “This time… and every time!!!” 😭

The climbing/jumping mechanics of this game raise my blood pressure. My eyesight is REALLY bad so I have a lot of trouble seeing the little things that indicate which vertical surfaces are climbable so that’s frustrating for me personally.. Other than that tho everything is fun & gorgeous & even tho I usually hate/suck at archery in games I’m having a lot of fun with it here!

[radiant-lux]

Chapter I - Escape

“Oh, vanity...” The man’s attention was not drawed by such sarcastic tone. Even than the voice wasn’t exactly familiar, the Ordinal was inclined to ignore it. “Few can afford vanity. Isn’t, Kayn?

- Stop shouting my name in vain, you dull creature. – He spat, regretting at the same instant, realizing the scared look on the face of that woman sitting in front of him. She bowed respectfully to the officer in her presence, but it took a moment to get back into the work in his hands, filling his nails with black paint.

He could hear laughs, exactly as before landing on Ionan.

“Now that you proved worthy, only you can hear me, Ordinal Kayn.” Finally, the voice made itself annoying enough to gain his attention. His uncovered eye turned to look at the weapon layed on the remains of a table – now split in two. A scythe of long blade with an orb of Ora on the middle. Curiously, Kayn haven’t thought about removing the orb to see what would happen.

“Would you do something stupid like that, and lose all the fun?” The voice was back into his head, as if was able to read his thoughts.

Kayn look away and rose the hand at eyesight to analyze the work done in his nails. The shiny color reflected the outside colored by the flashlights of the slingspace, programed to lead them fast as possible to the core-planet. While he avoided thinking what was that thing on his table; once it clearly could read his thoughts, he tried to rehearse the report planned for when they were back at the planet.

“Will you lie, won’t you? Well Kayn, we both know you cannot tell what really happened in Ionan. Not even your victory upon Zago.” The weapon drew the Ordinal’s attention to himself once more. Kayn’s expression was annoyed and it was all Rhaast wanted; that Kayn stepped out of the line only once… Yes, only once would suffice. “It is smart to take prisoners to the Emperor. He will be less furious about your suspicious actions. It might even save your skin.”

At the instant that Kayn took a long breath to curse Rhaast, a deafening sound started, and the red alert went crazy. The golden interface notified an emergency call from the bridge.

- Sir, there was an escape, two prisoners out of cells. – It was captain Vassur’s voice, and it was clear as water, that she was focused in leading the ship into the core-planet, other than commanding the intercepting tropes. What, for him was marvelous, once he loved to hunt, specially when there was no way out for the rats. – They’re the ones you captured in Ionan, Sir.

Without responding the captain, he raised from the chair and pushed back the woman who haven’t finished the work in his nails. Walked to the splint table and didn’t hesitate to grab the scythe’s golden cable. It was amazing how it fit perfectly on his hand. He could feel the energy of the Ora running trough his veins, like if nothing could stand on his way while he wielded that weapon.

Static at the corner of the office with the head down, the servant raised her eyes quickly, only to notice the sick manner he looked at the scythe. If the alarm wasn’t so loud, she could swear that the Ordinal was talking to it. His expression was different. The whole crew of the Fractal Shear and – possibly – the whole Demaxian Empire knew that Shieda Kayn wasn’t a kind man of polished words, but since his return from Ionan he was different. His presence was frightening, and it was like if he could get into your mind, discover your deepest secrets and use them against you.

The Ordinal hurry up and passed the door with an impeccable stance. No one ever had escaped the Fractal Shear, and wouldn’t be under his command such disgrace would happen. Specially two at once… Specially two extremally important people.

                                                               -x-

Soundless steps walked in the shadows. Despite all the movement around them, the prisoners couldn’t let themselves into panic or simply ran into an opened area, where certainly they would be captured again or killed. They knew exactly who they where dealing with, and Shieda was not a man to play with, or simply hope the odds to be in your favor.

They had already been able to climb two decks, and only one separate them from the escape pods platform. Not making any noise was never that hard, and Yone asked himself how the hell she could be so silent; while he started to believe even his heart beats would be heard by the guards at any moment. The white-haired man stopped for a moment, hiding in the shadow of an iron column, then he breathed deeply, trying to control the fast breathing that could draw unwanted attention. His heart was beating so fast that blood filled his ears, and he had the strange feeling to be sinking in deep waters. Then he felt a cold and small hand touch the warm skin of his arm, and when looking behind, he saw exactly what he expected. Yet for a moment, that familiar look seemed to calm him down in a way that never had been necessary before. The yellow, fearless eyes now looked warm and cherishing, as if they were saying that it was all fine; a smile appeared among the calm expression and seemed a silent spell to calm Yone’s frenetic heart.

He breathed deeply once more and enjoyed the calm that Sona’s presence provided him. Then he moved forward followed closely by her, who seemed to float few centimeters from the floor, so light were her steps. Near to step out of the shadows, Yone raised his arm and stopped Sona from walking out the cover. They both immediately held breath – if Sona even breathe at all – to let a battalion pass them unnoticed. He could swore the last soldier heard him breathe, but for some reason decided to continue his walk.

Finally reaching the vertical stairs that would lead them to the launching platform, Yone helped Sona to climb and she pulled him up; quickly they hid behind the cargo at the deck. The first thing Yone noticed, was how empty the deck was, full of cargo and tasks abandoned half done. No one in sight. But there was no time to think any reason for that, they needed to escape that devilish ship soon as possible. Only then they noticed that the deafening alarm had been turned off.

Yone looked into Sona’s eyes, and chose to keep to himself that it was a terrible sign, all that… But she was no stupid child and understood, maybe better than anyone, who they were dealing with. In that ship, maybe in the whole Empire, there were only one person who was such excellent hunter. A hunter experienced in hunting things that knew were being hunted, things that would take extra care to not be noticed by anyone.

But inside this infinite loop of future points, the Dark Star bearer has absolute advantage.

And there he was. Wearing the black military uniform, unprovided of any other color or sign. The clothe dressed by the few who were considered worthy of such high and important position among the army. He, who even the Emperor – certainly – feared to look into the eye to contradict, the war dog that Javan IV – recklessly – kept unleashed on his yard.

- Why don’t you come out and play? – He taunted, wielding the huge weapon on his left hand. – I’m not used to be merciful twice, Sona. This time there will be no distraction to avoid me from cutting off your head. – He threatened. Yet, Kayn stood exactly where he was, standing in the middle of the hangar, ready to jump in front of any desperate attempt of escape.

“Leave the Templar alive” Sona heard the monstrous voice once more, if wasn’t enough all those years she heard it calling for her. There was no escape, she knew. They had to face Shieda and she couldn’t remember anyone who had lived after a fight with him. She touched Yone’s hand, but even that she begs him to stay low and let her do it, he would never.

- I’m done waiting. – The Ordinal reached the end of his patience and with a single wave, the huge box behind were they were hidden was thrown aside.

The fugitives jump one to each side and stood up, getting ready for battle, what made Kayn giggles. The once calm expression Sona held on her face, suddenly seemed never existed, and gave place to a determinate look, the one that made Kayn shut his face in rage, while that expression reminded him when he asked her things and she remain mute.

- I should rip off these petulant eyes. – He aimed the scythe at her heart.

Clearly, she was unarmed, and even though Kayn expression was indifferent, he was furious for even considering be gentle or letting her live because Rhaast said so. And knowing that no matter what he did, he couldn’t pull a word from her, made him even more furious.

Lacking patience, Kayn jumped in her direction, wielding the scythe to aim at her neck, but Sona was expecting that aggressive move and in a second she formed a golden barrier between them. The energy of that shield threw Kayn far in the ground, leaving him enraged.

“I told you to not underestimate her!” Sona could hear Rhaast say to his bearer while he stood up.

- SHUT UP! – Kayn shouted. And expecting that anything would be different, he jumped once more, only to be hurled again. At first, he couldn’t see what had protected her, only after the second failure he realized that she used the Ora stored on the boxes along the deck. – Damn Templar. – He cursed. His yellow eye focused on her, while the golden interface was malfunctioning while Sona manipulate the Ora. – Why didn’t you told me she could to that?! – He asked Rhaast.

“I wanted to know what would happen when you found out.” He answered simply.

- Well, now I want her even more. – Kayn straightened his stance once more, rubbed his hand through the hair, took a deep breath and laughed.

“Did you tired already?” Rhaast taunted him.

- I don’t see you helping out. – His laugh was broken by irritation.

“I’m the scythe, you idiot, I only help out!”

Maybe Rhaast didn’t knew that Sona could hear him. If he knew, probably would keep his mouth shut, unless he was trying to harm Kayn somehow. Knowing that creature so well, Sona knew it was exactly what it was doing. Kayn was only the most proper tool that Rhaast could find, and it needed him to achieve its purpose, but alone there were only so little Sona could do to help. First, she needed to get out of there, and then after start to think in an intervention. She had an advantage: those two didn’t get along, but needed each other, she only had to make Kayn lose his mind; and for that, nothing better than make out a fool, a proud man like him.

“What is the matter Shieda?” The voice that filled the hangar was like a melody, as if God itself sang a song. “Did you tired already?” She repeated Rhaast taunting. “Am I dancing too fast for you to keep up?”

That surprised Kayn in such a way, that he only stood where he was, completely mute, trying to understand what was happening. Sona hadn’t moved her lips, he knew that. On the other hand, the golden sphere floating near her head was trembling while she pronounced the words.

She speaks through the Ora. – He thought while facing her, his eyes moving from the Templar to the golden sphere and back. Maybe Rhaast had said something, but he was too distracted to listen and even more to notice the gigantic air blast coming at him; unable to fully dismiss the attack, he staggered and almost fell again. Due the terrible malfunctioning of his interface, was hard to keep attention to both his opponents. At the moment he tried to locate Yone to kill him, Sona waved her hands and created a whip with a sharp point, aiming right at Kayn’s head.

He only had time to push his head back, getting no more than a scratch on his cheek. Furious by that cunning move, Kayn jumped fast, getting close to Sona and wielded the scythe, ready to cut her in half upwards.

Yone was fast to predict that, but he was unarmed and could only jumped over Kayn, throwing both at the floor. The scythe escaped Kayn's grip, and Yone’s next move was a punch in his face. The Ordinal was well trained, but Yone was heavier and more desperate than him. It took a second for Kayn to recover his senses, but only half second for Yone to manipulate the air and throw Sona into an escape pod.

Another second for Kayn to decide if he should reach for Yone, or Sona. And it costed him everything. Because Yone hit the launch button and throwed Sona into space.

Kayn’s rage couldn’t be measured at that point. He pulled Rhaast, controlling his Ora's orb and stabbed Yone, trespassing him with all the rage he felt. The Templar was dead, but Kayn's rage wasn’t gone, so he pulled the scythe out of his body and chopped his head.

Yelling furiously while the non-traceable pod disappeared in the dark, he buried the scythe on the floor and fell on his knees, looking at all the Ora spilled on the floor.