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inej-ruination-ghafa · 2 years ago

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LOVE AND WAR

003 | ANOTHER LIFETIME AGO

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Warnings: nightmares, ptsd, Canon typical violence, poorly written action sequences

Summary: you finally land on the planet of sorgan and end up fighting the empire who you've been fighting your whole life which shows Din the real version of you

Wordcount: 5.3k

You were drowning again, the screaming cries of your best friend echoing through your skull. You hadnt even been there when he had died but you could almost feel it all.

Blaming yourself was what you had always done. You blamed yourself for not being able to escape Corellia with your brother, you blamed yourself for letting your mentor get kidnapped and tortured by the empire, you blamed yourself for getting injured on Eadu and not being able to go with him on the mission that had killed him.

So when you jolted awake in the cot, eyes wide as his face flashed before your eyes, you felt that heavy weight of survivors guilt pulling you back down and down and down like it had for the last nine years.

It had been pulling you under ever since but nobody had ever noticed, not your friends, not your brother. You were left to suffer alone and that’s how you liked it; that way you knew you couldn’t hurt anyone else.

You brushed a hand over your face, squeezing your eyes shot with the hope that the ghosts would finally leave you alone but they didn’t, their voices still echoing in your brain, blaming you for it all too.

The sound of the child in his little hammock calling out to you was the voice that finally got the cacophony of ghosts out of your head and you looked up at him, trying to hide the horror that you were sure was evident on your face.

Din had let you sleep in the cot tonight after having noticed the pain you’d recieved in your neck after you’d slept upright in the chair. He was up in the cockpit, putting in the coordinates for the next quarry he was taking. You looked up at the child, seeing his wide eyes looking down at you.

There was a feeling of guilt in your chest at the idea that you had worried this child so you stood up, wiping the sleep from your eyes as you picked him up and held him to your chest, hearing him coo in worry, “I’m okay kid,” you muttered, not understanding why you felt so bad about exposing him to the aftermath of your nightmare.

The sound of the door sliding open made you jolt, eyes wide in shock as you turned on your heels to see the Mandalorian standing there, watching you. You let out a sigh of relief when you saw him standing there, knowing that you werent under attack.

Din looked at you, eyes narrowed as he stared at you - although you couldn’t see his expression under his mask. He could tell that something was wrong with you. He could see the slight sheen on your forehead, a few baby hairs sticking to your head and he could see that sunken look in your eyes.

It was one of the things he used to characterise you most, some people had identifiable marks, some people had recognisable smiles but for you, it was your eyes. They were always swirling with emotion and even when your face didnt react to things, it was always your eyes that did, revealing the secrets beneath the surface.

Din had learnt that he could stare into your haunted eyes for hours, watching the stories pass behind them but he cursed himself for even thinking that.

“We’re nearly on Sorgan,” he stated and you nodded.

Last night he had told you about the quarry that he needed help with, it was small village that was being terrorised by an imperial spy who had crashed along the perimeter. Apparently he had been there before and the child was okay with staying with some locals that he trusted whilst the two of you took out this man.

You looked around, “Do you mind if I go to the fresher quickly?” You questioned and he nodded, allowing you to hand Grogu over to him before pointing in the direct.

You flashed him a polite smile before walking into the room, hearing the door hiss behind you as it closed. You looked at yourself in the small mirror, only now realising how exhausted you appeared as you wiped your hand over your entire face.

Whilst you washed up ready for the mission, Din was still standing in the same spot, Grogu resting in his arms as he looked at the spot where you had walked away. Normally he didnt care about bounties but he wanted to know everything about you, listens o your voice for hours.

The kid cooed in his arms, trying to say his first word but once again just collapsing into a fit of babbling, ��She’s fine kiddo,” he said, looking back down at him.

He hadnt imagined for Grogu to get so attached to you, especially since Din knew soon he would have to get the child back to his people. Before he had met you, he had visited a Jedi who had told him about a seeing stone that would take the child back to his people.

He was planning on going straight ther but after running out of money for fuel and fixing the ship, he had taken up your bounty and was now travelling around with you, looking for another job to earn some more money. Then he would need to go to drop you off somewhere and then go to Nevarro to get the ship fixed before heading to the seeing stone.

Din was completley lost in thought as he planned the nect few months on the ship that he didnt hear the door hiss open as you walked out, looking more refreshed. The sound of your footsteps grabbed his attention and he turned to look at you, your gun holstered onto your side.

Under his mask, his brows furrowed, “Where did you get that?” He asked.

You shrugged your shoulders and he watched your lips tug up into a mishcevious smile, “I just found it in the cockpit, you’re not very good at this,” you teased, brushing past him as you walked toward the cockpit.

He stiffened up at your touch, shaking his head as he turned to look at you, “I’m bringing you along with me instead of turning you in, you follow my rules,” he demanded.

You turned back around, leaning against the metal wall of the ship as he looked at him. You hadnt hears him be so authorative since he had let you come along with him, “Your rules?” Your brows pulled together as you looked at him.

He nodded his head, “You don’t go anywhere without me and follow what I’m saying the whole time,” he watched as you nodded in response, hopefully agreeing to his terms, “Then we leave and I drop you off at the closest planet,”

For some reasons, you felt a pain in your chest at the suggestion of leaving him and you didnt understand why your heart yearned to stay with the Mandalorian. You put on a polite smile, “You’re the boss Mando,”

When the ship landed on Sorgan, you stepped out to see some of the villagers instantly welcoming Din and Grogu back. You felt overwhelmed as you stood there, unsure what to do so you stepped back, watching the village talk to him.

Whilst they talked, you looked around, surveying the land. It was grassy and in the distance, there was a large forest. You assumed that that would be where the bounty would be hiding.

You saw this stunning woman approach them, pulling the Mandalorian in for a hug. That shocked you because you had never seen him have any physical affection for anyone expect for the child. You wondered what he had with this woman and the thought made your head hurt for some incomprehensible reason.

She cooed as she looked at the child and Din nodded his head, “His name is Grogu,” he stated and the woman nodded, listening to the child babble.

Living the life that you did, you didnt often feel invisible but right now as you stood there, watching a beautiful woman fawn over the Mandalorian and his child, you had never felt more invisible.

Just as you thought that, she turned to you, a polite and charming smile decorating her face, “And who’s your friend Mando?” her voice was sweet like candy, pulling everyone around her in.

He stated your name, just your first name and that’s when he realised he didn’t know your last name. You had never mentioned it before and he had never thought to ask. You heard him pause after your first name and felt an embarrassed flush raising up on your cheeks, “Solo, my last names Solo,”

Really, it was a lie. In Corellia, only the rich had last name and you grew up just as every other child had, without a last name. When you reunited with your brother again, that’s when you finally received a last name, one that he had made up, one that showed that you two had nobody in the galaxy.

“I’m Omera, welcome to Sorgan,” she welcomed, shaking your hand, smooth hand brushing against your as she pulled away, “Thank you both for coming, we assume you’re here for the bounty?”

Din conversed with the woman as the three of you walked down and through the village but you weren’t listening. Instead, your focus was on the joy of the people who lived here. Everyone was laughing, the infectious sound travelling through the village as children chased each other around, wide smiles on their faces.

It was a childhood that you wished that you had. Corellia wasnt a place where laughter sounded freely, everything came with a cost. You couldn’t be happy there, you had to be alert and you had to be intimidating to survive - there was never any time to just be a child, only time to inflict fear into the other children.

The sound of your name pulled you out of your thoughts and that’s when you realised that Din and Omera had stopped at one of the huts, calling out your name. You looked at him and he saw it again, that swirling of emotion in your eyes, the slightly teary look to them and he followed your previous gaze to the group of children playing with the frogs in the pond.

He repeated your name again, this time softer than his demanding call and you nodded, that mask of a smile reappearing on your face as you walked over to them, hearing Omera explain how she would look after the child.

You knelt down to where Grogu was standing on the floor, eyes fixated on a small group of rocks that he was laying with but as soon as you came into his eyeline, he lit up, “Me and your dad are gonna be gone okay, you be nice,” the words made the child laugh up, his hand brushing against yours before he started running around the rocks again.

A laugh resounded from you and it made Dins face heat up beneath his mask, head focused on you. Omera noticed the tilt of his mask, one that she had once seen directed at herself and she understood now why he was keeping you around.

When you looked back up at them, standing up, you didnt notice the look on Omera face. It wasnt one of jealousy, more of mourning the chance that she had because she could tell that there was something really special about what was going on here. She put on a smile and that’s what you noticed most, it was a talent you had, spotting fake smiles.

Din had already said his goodbyes to the child and with the sniper rifle on his back at his blaster holstered to his hip, the two of you started your trek into the forest.

Six hours later, you were standing in the clearing, hands on your knees as you bent over, trying to take a breath, “Maker, that was a long hike,” there was a slight wheeze to the end of your voice and he looked down at you from wher he was standing further ahead. You looked up at him, eyes wide, “You couldn’t have gotten us a speeder or something?”

A low chuckle came from him, the modulator deepening it and you ignored the way your heart sped up a little bit at the sound, “They don’t own any technology here,” he explained, remembering the first time that he had come here with Grogu at the start of their journey, “Although now that you mention it, I probably could have used the jet pack for that really steep bit,”

“You piece of bantha fodder Mando!”

Under his mask, he had this stupid grin on his face that he tried to ignore but he couldn’t. There was something about you, whether it was your insane constant optimism or your dry sarcasm at all times that made him smile and drew him to you like a magnet. Before Grogu had been taken into his care, he hadn’t smiled in years but he had changed since then, relishing in the little joys in life.

“Come on, we’re nearly there,” he said, reaching a hand out and you looked up at him. He couldn’t help but look at you for a second, eyelashes fluttering on your lower lashes at the angle, mouth slightly agape but when you grabbed his hand in a tight grip, he stopped thinking about that. He pulled you up, hearing as you grunted slightly and started to follow him.

It was silent for a second and you had half expected it to be awkward but it wasnt. There was something about the silence as you walked, similar to the last six hours of hiking, that was perfectly quiet. It was somehow comfortable and as you watched the stoic man in armour walk in front of you, you didnt feel the need to fill the silence.

If anyone had asked you two weeks ago if you were going to be walking up the green hills of a random planet in the mid rim with a Mandalorian and that you would be the most at peace that you had been in years, you would have told them that they were a liar. You had been looking for a purpose for years ever since the war finished and for the first time since then, you didnt feel that dragging feeling of the pull to action, the one that burned in your chest whenever you sat still for too long.

You looked up when you heard his footsteps stop, his hand held up signalling you to stop as well and you took one more step so that your back was pressed up against his and you were luckily tall enough to be able to peek over his shoulder.

In the distance on the bottom of the small hill was a little encampment with one man there, an imperial scientist who was planning on making this place his base. That was the man who was going to be your quarry - and the New Republic didnt need him delivered alive.

“What are we going to do?” You questioned, the next step of the plan having not been revealed yet.

Din moved his head, turning it to look at you over your shoulder and you hoped he didnt have his heat signature on because if he did, he would have seen the way your face burned at the close proximity. In any normal situation, you would be close enough to kiss him but with his helmet on, your lips were only millimetres away from the base of his visor.

When you breathed, you noticed a slight sheen of condensation building up on the beskar metal and you felt your face burning even more and a part of you wanted the earth to open up and drag you down, “Sorry,” the words came out as an embarrassed mutter, trying not to show how horrified you were. He was blushing underneath the helmet too, cheeks lit up in a pink hue at the closeness.

That was one good thing about the helmet, nobody could see his facial expressions. He was constantly smiling or grimacing at things that people did, his emotions running free and with you, he was glad that the helmet was hiding the constant blush that appeared to be taking residence on his cheeks whenever you were around. He muttered an ‘it’s okay’, the sound quiet through the modulator but you heard it.

After the slightly awkward moment that would be burning through your mind for the next few days, he moved his head back to where it was before, eyes trained on the encampment in the distance, “We go down and we capture it,” he said it almost like it was that simple, “You distract him, act lost. Then I’ll hit him with a taser gun and you can cuff him, nobody gets hurt that way,”

You nodded, thinking over the instructions, “Where are we taking him?” You questioned.

The word ‘we’ fell out of your lips before you could think about it. When did the two of you become a team in the last week and a half? You werent actually sure if you had become a little team and by the way that he tensed up at your words, you assumed that you had crossed a line.

“I’m taking him to Tattoine, then Ive got an old friend who’s gonna sort out the ship for me,” he said and the curt way that he said the first word made you cringe, thankful that he was facing the other direction. You swore in your head, shocked at how you had messed up one of the only friendships that you had made since the end of the war, “I can leave you there if you want, there’s lots of transport to wherever you want to go,”

Before you could even stop yourself, you took a sharp inhale of breath at the words. There was something that was off putting at the idea of leaving the Mandalorian and Grogu now but you knew that this was always how it was going to end - you always did have a tendency to get too attatched to things when you didnt need to.

You nodded, “Sounds good to me, thank you,” the words came out as more shy than you had intended, more reluctant.

Din nodded his head before taking a step down, looking back at you, “You should go down now, play your part,” Earlier you had been praising him on the way that he never made you feel uncomfortable but right now, the air was awkward and you were glad to be leaving.

You stepped past him, brushing against the cool beskar plates on his arms as you walked down, you turned back, shooting him an awkward thumbs up before continuing your walk down, faking a tumble at the end that garnered the mans attention.

He was a tall man, scraggly, with long grey hair and piercing green eyes that narrowed at her as soon as he saw her, “I’m sorry, I-I’m lost here and I don’t know where I am,” you explained, putting on your best acting face as you faked a sob at the end.

You would never have called yourself a good actress but you were good enough to have fooled enough people during the rebellion. But as this man looked at you, thick and hairy brows furrowed, you wondered if maybe you had lost your touch.

Thats when he yelped, taking a step back, his hand falling down to his blaster, “Solo!” He exclaimed and you looked around, hoping that Din wasnt anyone near.

He didnt know anything about your past yet. Most people freaked out when they found out that you were in the rebellion and even now, it was dangerous to say that you were one of the people that managed to orchestrate it, that you had been in it since the beginning.

Clearly, this imperial man had recognised you - not that you recognised him at all, the imperial faces all blurred together most of the time. He had pulled his blaster out before you even had any time to comprehend what was going on. He fired a singular shock adn you managed to duck before it hit you, your sleeve on the top of your shoulder taking the brunt of the hit.

You smelt the singing of the leather jacket you’d been wearing before you heard more gunshot and this time you looked up to see Din had started to fire - this was meant to be a peaceful operation and the New Republic wanted this scientist alive so it wasnt going to be good if they killed him.

The man was more focused on you though, anger boiling up through his face present at the sight of the protruding vein in his forehead as he reached for his blaster again, continuing to fire at you.

Though the grass was wet from recent rainfall that you and Din had fell victim to on the trek down here, you rolled along it in an attempt to avoid the blaster fire and luckily you did. You sat up, grabbing the blaster at your side and firing a shot down into his shins.

You fire another shot that just barely missed his upper thigh before remembering that he had to be brought in alive. You jumped to your feet, arms folded across your chest as you barrelled into the man, knocking him down the ground. The air was knocked from your lungs but it was worth it.

With ease that Din was not expecting from you, you twisted him onto his front do that you were straddling his back, pulling his squirming hands behind his back. you pulled the handcuffs that were attached to the back of your belt and tied them to his hands before yanking him up, ignoring the slight cracking sound that resonated after you pulled him up.

The man looked at the Mandalorian and you wished you could have seen his reaction as you single handedly took down an imperial scientist, “So-“ he started to say and you pulled the handkerchief from his coat pocket, shoving it into his mouth before he could reveal your status in the rebellion to your newfound friend.

Din was staring at you with awe, trying not to fall for you a little bit more at the sight of you taking down this grown man and now restraining him. He didnt noticed the small blaster burn on your shoulder as you pushed him forward, watching the man stumble on his feet.

“Good job,” Din said, nodding his head and you smiled at the praise, watching as he took the man from your grasp.

“Can we take him in cold? He’s got a real mouth on him,” you suggested and Din nodded, the two of you beginning your long hike back, an even longer one no with your added cargo.

You had collected Grogu and recieved thanks from the village, them gifting the three of you food and supplies for your journey and you thanked them before getting back on the Razor Crest, preparing for the journey back.

The ship was cold, the mechanics still not working as they floated through the expanse of space. You sat in the co-pilots chair, legs pulled up against your chest, head resting on the top of your knees, in an attempt to conserve warmth.

Din walked up to you after having put Grogu to sleep, the child wrapped in heaps of blankets due to the heating systems failure. He sat down nect to you, feeling the cold seeping through his beskar armour.

“You should go to the cot, its warmer down there,” his words came out fine but you could hear his teeth chattering a bit at the end of the sentence and it was a strange bit of proof that showed he was human too. After the way hed killed people today, you wondered if he was human under there, if there was a warmth to his skin and a beating heart underneath all of that beskar armour.

Pursing your lips together to try and hide the fact that your teeth were chattering too, you turned to him, shaking your head, “I slept there last night, you deserve to stay there tonight,” you explained.

He was too hospitable to you, especially seeing as you were his bounty. He shouldn’t be giving you a bed to sleep in whilst he slept in a chair in the coldest area of the razor crest. You didnt deserve that and you were sure he would figure that out soon enough.

Din was stubborn though, shaking his head, “You’re freezing,” little did he know that you were just as stubborn.

A hand came up to your face, an exaasperated sound falling from your lips as you realised that he was actually more stubborn. He wasnt ging to budge and you looked at him, pinching the bridge of your nose, “You’re not going to change your mind are you?” He shook his head in response.

He was a silent man and didnt say a lot but you had started to learn his body language, the little things about him that showed emotion and right now, with his arms folded against his chest, you knew that you were right.

With a sigh, you stood up, a hand falling down to clap against the pauldron on his shoulder, “Fine Mando, but tomorrow night you are sleeping in the cot, no fighting me on it,”

The smile on your face as you said that made him smile under his helmet. He had never seen someone smile so much even in the worst places, your optimism an armour that you wore to show everyone else that you were okay even if you werent.

“How are you so good at that?” You stopped in the entrance, turning to look at him, brows furrowed as you tried to figure out what he meant, “Shooting?”

Normally, uou would be offended that some man was questioning your talent and your skill but you understood what he meant, he wanted to know what official training you had.

You pursed your lips together as you tried to find the right words because if you said the wrong thing then it could get you killed in this galaxy, “I was in the rebellion,” the words fell from your lips and you went silent afterwards.

In your line of work, it wasnt safe to tell too many people about if but a part of you knew that you could trust Din with the information, that he wasnt going to try and hurt you. Not now.

You wished you could have seen the way that his eyes went wide, eyebrows raised as he looked at you, “The rebellion?” He asked. He may have been shocked but his body didnt show it, his shoulders just straightened and his head cocked to the side.

Nervously, you laughed, unsure what to say, “You shocked?” There was a bubbling sense of fear that was rising up inside of you at his response but you pushed it away, knowing the Mandalorian wouldnt do anything to hurt you.

He could sense how nervous you were and shook his head, trying to reassure you, “I don’t know, i just never took you as the rebel type,” he stated and it was true.

Din hated the empire just as much as the average man in the galaxy and probably more. They had killed his family on Aq Vetina and he had always held a grudge against them but never a big enough of a grudge to try and take them down.

Now it made sense, your brilliant marksmanship, your knowledge of ships, your nightmares. They were all products of the rebellion and he was honoured that you trusted him enough to tell him this even though you’d only known each other for a week.

“I wasnt, trust me,” you had never wanted to join the rebellio, content with just letting other people fight for your freedom until you met the man you thought you’d be with for your entire life. He had changed your whole world view, “After I left Corellia, I moved to this small mining town and um, me and my friend joined the rebellion,”

You didnt want to mention who your friend was, didnt want to reveal something so intimate abot your past. You didnt even want to say his name out loud because admitting it would hurt too much.

Din noticed that look in your eyes, the way that they glazed over as you got a little bit lost in thought. They were swimming with memories like they all wanted to escape, to leave your head forever but were trapped.

“You enjoy it?” He asked, trying to relieve some of the tension.

You snorted to yourself, laughing as you shook your head, “Maker, I hated it. But it gave me a purpose that Ive been lacking ever since,” you explained, the smile falling from your face as you thought about it.

That was why you decided to go after Lady Proxima, defeating the villain of your childhood was the only thing that was giving you a purpose in this life now and you had to finish the job, no matter the cost.

Din watched you. He had so much admiration for you now, more than you had before. You had always been this strong willed person fighting off some ghosts but now he understood wher you were coming from and it made him want to know even more, to ask you about everything in your life.

He smiled under his helmet, forgetting that you couldn’t see him because so often it felt like you were looking directly into his eyes even if you didnt know it, “You’re a good shot,”

“No Mando, I’m the best shot,” you said, nose scrunching up as your lips turned up into a smirk and you thought about it. He smiled at the sight of you standing there, a smug look on your face.

He laughed and you froze, you’d never heard him laugh before and now that he had, you wanted to hear it again and again. You wanted to hate this man who hunted people for money but he had saved you and he was a good man underneath it all. A good man that you wanted to hear laugh forever and ever, get high on the sound.

You brushed off the sound of his laugh and the effects it had on you, the smile reaping on your face in seconds, “You’ve got an inflated ego,” he stated, a teasing tone to his voice.

With a smile on your face, you took a few steps back, “I’m going to go check on the kid,” you said, trying to change the conversation.

You were glad that he accepted you for who you were, not judging about your involvement in the rebellion like some people did. It was nice to have someone know who you were underneath it all.

“Thank you,” the words from the Mandalorian shocked you and he could see it in your eyes, see the confusion at his words. He shrugged his shoulders and you watched him fiddle with the end of one of his gloves almost nervously as he continued his sentence now that he had your full attention, “For saving me earlier,”

If it was even possible, your grin widened, “Careful Mando, you might inflate my ego more,” you chuckled to yourself as you span around on your heels, feeling that warmth spread through your chest as you opened the door.

And as he watched you walk away, he felt that there was more about you that he wanted to know, that he could hear you talk for hours and hours and he hated the way it made him feel

If you liked it, I would love to hear any feedback. Also, I am going to be opening a taglist so if you want to be added, just send an ask or comment on here, I don't mind. Hope you enjoyed it :)

Taglist: @babygirlrex0504 @prismaticpizza

#din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin #din djarin x female reader #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #mando x reader #mando x you #mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian #mando season 3 #pedro pascal #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x y/n #love and war; din djarin

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fettuccin-e · 1 year ago

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Just This Once

Kinktober Day 18: Squirting + Dacryphilia

Tags: Din Djarin x Reader, afab!fem!reader, unprotected piv (pls wrap it before you tap it irl), fingering (r!recieving), squirting, light dacryphilia, Din being feral but also emotionally stunted (w/c: 1.7K)

A/N: Guess who fell behind on Kinktober again, womp womp. I will not give up though!! I am determined to finish, so please enjoy this Din fic that I may or may not have gotten too invested in while writing it and stay tuned for some more filth coming (and cumming hahaha) soon!! (for Kinktober I have been using this list from flightlessangelwings!)

There’s something about the coldness of space, the loneliness of it, that makes you so desperate.

When the Crest is quiet, the baby asleep, all you can feel is the vastness of the universe around you, your body cold and needy for touch. And Maker, the Mandalorian notices immediately, the way you cross and uncross your legs in the seat behind him, curling your fingers into your thighs as the stars fly past the ship. You don’t mean to be obvious, but Din always notices.

He knows how to treat you when you get like this, all needy and desperate for his touch, even when you don’t want to admit it. Din is willing to admit that you are far more than just a friend to him, but you both narrowly avoid the strength of the feelings between you both, the bond that drags you together. But still, Din knows exactly what you need, and he has absolutely no problem giving it to you.

He has you splayed across his lap, your back pressed against his chestplate, your head lolling back onto his shoulder. He’d lost his gloves the moment you’d peeled off your pants, his hands the only skin he’ll allow himself to touch you with. It’s a wonderful loophole for you, but an exercise in torture for him. He wants to feel your back pressed against his bare chest, trace his lips down your neck. Wants to feel your heartbeat against his, quick and warm and alive.

This is the Way, he reminds himself, despite knowing, deep down, that he’s already broken something just by touching you without his gloves. But stars, how can he resist when your pretty, desperate little cunt pulses beneath his fingertips, begging for more, more, more.

He ghosts his fingers up the slick seam of your pussy, and has to hold back his own groan at the way you whine, pressing back against him as your hips twitch uncontrollably.

“Stars, you’re wet,” he grunts, pressing a thick finger into your entrance, already gaping with your need for something, anything to clutch onto. “Needed me this bad, cyar’ika?”

“‘M so- so empty, Din, fuck, it’s like,” you cut yourself off with a gasp as he starts fucking you with that one thick finger, feeling it drag across your walls. “It’s like I can’t fucking breathe without you touching me, Maker, I need it all the time, Din.”

And it’s true. When you’d first started traveling with Din and the baby, you’d barely even noticed the loneliness. You’d been lonely your whole life, eager to escape your desolate little planet and see the stars.

But then Din had done this for the first time, when tensions had run too high, when things had gone just a little too far.

“Just this once,” he’d muttered, “Can I touch you?” he’d asked, and you’d said yes without a thought.

He’d peeled off his glove, touching your face gently, so gently with those calloused fingers. He’d laid you out on his small mattress, pressing the front of his helmet to your forehead as he let his hand roam the expanse of your body, squeezing your skin over your clothes before brushing them over your clit through your pants. When you’d jerked up and moaned, he could only let out a shaky exhale through his visor as he rubbed tight circles into it, enraptured by the way you whimpered and squirmed beneath him.

“Just once,” he kept muttering, even as he worked one, two orgasms out of your body, “just once.”

Except it happened again. And again. And again.

And now you can barely sleep without wanting, needing Din to touch you. He hasn’t fucked you; there’s an unspoken rule that he’s broken enough of the Creed for you, telling you his name, touching you like he does. You don’t question it, not when you’re the one getting fucked on his fingers until you’re in tears, ravenous for his hands on your body.

It’s like it gets worse as time goes on, your need for him. Even now, pressed against his chest as his thick thighs spread you wide for his hands, it’s like the first time. You writhe against him as he works another finger into your hot cunt, your slick covering his hand. You hump forward into them without meaning to, and you turn your head to tuck it into his cowl as he works you over.

Din fucks his fingers furiously into you, using his other arm to brace across your hips, keeping you pinned to him. He’s practically growling as he pumps his hand between your legs, crooking his fingers up to press against the spot that makes you cry so beautiful for him. He keeps his fingers pressed deep for a moment, just grinding the tips of them into that spot relentlessly and relishing in the way you cry his name so prettily.

“Din, please- oh fuck! Stars, it’s too much, it’s too much oh my- ah-” you wine, feeling tears start to build in your eyes as you edge dangerously close to that peak you need so bad.

“C’mon, mesh’la, let go for me, squeeze my fingers with this little cunt,” he growls, and fuck, you can’t even breathe as you let him work you over, making you cum so hard that you can’t do anything but gasp for air.

And Din can’t fucking take it anymore.

“Fuck, I-” you hear him say, and you turn your head to look at him, even as aftershocks wrack your body, even as his fingers stay buried inside.

“What, Din?” you whisper, and Din nearly curses at the sight of you. Your lashes are wet with tears, stars, why do you have to look at him like that? It wears at his carefully honed control, and fuck, he can practically feel it snap at the sight of you, as the feeling of you.

“Can I fuck you?” he rasps, and you hear him suck in a breath, “please let me fuck you.” You can't hold back the keening whine that leaves your mouth, and Din shivers behind you at the sound of it.

“Please,” you breathe, and Din pulls his fingers out of you without missing a beat, reaching behind you, between your bodies to pull his cock out of his pants haphazardly. You feel the hardness of it press against your lower back, and resist the urge to look. You don’t want to cross any more lines than he’s given you.

“Just this once,” he mutters, pulling your hips back over him, notching the thick head of his cock to your entrance. “Just need to feel you, once, fuck, just once,” and he pulls you down, down, letting his cock stretch you so wide, so perfect.

Months in space, just weeks of having Din touch you, stars, it’s nothing compared to this. You eyes roll to the back of your head as he settles deep inside, so fucking deep that it makes your toes curl.

“Dank farrik, that’s fucking tight-” he grunts, the hot, wet heat of your cunt pulsing around him almost making him fill you up right then and there. He bites his tongue, praying to the Maker that the pain stops him from ending this far too fucking soon.

He uses his hard, strong grip on your hips to roll you into him, grinding you down hard onto his cock. You can only take it as he punches his hips up in aborted, desperate little thrusts that grind into your sweet spot.

“Fuck, Din, it’s so big, I can’t-” you whine, but Din only growls beneath his visor, fucking up into you harder, and your head falls back onto his shoulder plate at the feeling of it. It’s so perfect, it’s everything you’ve needed, stars, how will you survive without him filling you up like this?

“Give me another one, cyare,” he mutters, and he uses one of his hands to bring his fingers to your clit, just like he did that first night. Except this time, his cock is inside you, spreading you so wide and pressing up into your g-spot with every fucking thrust in. You gasp for air, little whines punching out of your throat every time Din shoves in all the way.

He’s a violent man, always has been, and fucking you is no exception. He fucks you like he hunts: fast, rough, fucking monstrous. Tears finally start to pour down your cheeks, and you hiccup through your moans.

“Look at you,” he rasps, “sobbing on my cock like the needy whore you are.” He doesn’t know what’s happened to him, he’s never talked like this, let alone to you. But stars, the way you moan for him has his head spinning, has words pouring out of his mouth like they’ve been trapped there all this time. “Mesh’la, squeezing me so perfect, never want to leave this perfect cunt.”

“Din, fuck, Din, I’m gonna- stars, I’m gonna-” you gasp, your hands scrabbling at the one hand he has rubbing at your swollen clit.

“C’mon, c’mon, let me feel it, need to fucking feel it-” he mutters, and oh-

You’re pretty sure you scream as you cum, but it’s hard to hear it over the ringing in your ears as you thrash in Din’s lap. You can feel him still inside you, his horrible fingers still rubbing dexterous circles into your clit as he floods your cunt with his cum. Your orgasm feels fucking endless, your thighs trying to close but still held wide by Din’s between them.

When you finally start to hear again, the blurriness fading from your vision, you can hear Din behind you, muttering, “fuck, so beautiful, didn’t- didn’t know you could do that.”

“Do- do what?” you slur, still groggy, but as you look in front of yourself, you can see the mess you’ve made. You’d fucking squirted, your wetness drenching his thighs and the floor of the hull. The sight makes your head spin, and you hide your face in his cowl as he wraps his arms around you, hugging you close to him. The coolness of his armor is soothing to your overly-heated body.

“So good, you did so good for me, cyar’ika,” he mumbles beneath the visor. “So pretty, can’t believe- you looked so beautiful.”

You let yourself relax into his hold, and he doesn’t let you go. “Didn’t know I could do that either,” you mumble, sleep already weighing down your eyelids, exhaustion flooding your body. “We’ll have to try again later,” you mumble. “Don’t think once is enough.”

“It will never be enough,” you hear him whisper, “not with you.”

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