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geekygoddesss · 4 years ago

Text

You

Summary: After Tom breaks the longest relationship he’s ever had, both of them seem to handle the breakup in a completely different way.

Words: 12k

A/N: first part of a serie!

“You” chapter list

January 4th, 2020 - The night

For some reason tonight Tom couldn’t keep his hands still. It was the first time in years were he was actually nervous, he didn’t like that at all.

He has gone down a couple of drinks already, the night was still young, but time was running so slow he was starting to feel this exact moment in his life would life forever, and he was starting to grow anxious as never before.

When he turned his head to the right, the only thing he could see were the blinding lights going all around the room, accompanied by the loud music and gigantic crowd that naturally came with it. If he took a closer look it was easy for him to spot familiar faces, people that were dancing and having fun without him, people he loves but that might be about to start hating him. Because he hasn’t done a single thing and he already feels like a bad person.

Those bright green eyes he knows so well shined directly towards him, and he couldn’t not spot them as they turned to him, that was something that came with having a good eye sight. The face of his girlfriend was smiling to him, waving him to come join her, but he wasn’t in the mood, so he shook his head in denial.

He knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer, he knew her like the palm of his hands, she never gave up so easily.

It was only a matter of seconds - and couple blinks - to have her standing right in front of him, hands on his shoulders and the biggest smile on her face. She was happy tonight, he felt bad.

“There you are!” she yelled, even though he could perfectly hear her, but the euphoria was kicking her hard. “Why are you sitting down?! This is a party” she fake frowned, as she took a look at him up and down.

He did what he does best, act natural and mask shit out. After all, that’s all he could possibly do to avoid tension.

“It’s called a small break, genius” he rolled his eyes, letting out a sarcastic tone that came out playful.

“Right, sorry” she said, going in to take a sit right beside him.

Feeling her arms go around his waist made him even more nervous. When he turned his head to the side, her lips crashed messily into his, greeting him peck, and letting him know she was indeed having a very fun night, but not only that, she was silently telling him she cared and she hoped he was having a good night too.

I’m a bad person.

That thought wouldn’t stop going around his head as time went by, and as he opened his eyes and saw hers, she moved over and went to take the last sip of his drink, he felt even worse. She was unusually happy, and he was about to ruin it from all sudden.

Should he give some sort of hint before exploding the bomb?

Should he leave it out for another occasion?

Would it be better is he said it now?

None, none of those answers seemed like a good option. He was second guessing himself and that was even worse. It was going to be a disaster and there was no way to evict that.

Scratch that, I’m a terrible person.

A couple of big hands landed on his shoulders from all sudden, making him jump in place and sending shivers down his spine. She got scared too at the sudden move, but she smiled right after, once she saw the face behind the small prank, and the one that gave Tom the scare of his life.

“Baby!” Tuwaine’s voice busted in his ears out of the blue, and almost knock him out of his seat.

“Shit!” He exclaimed, doing his best to not fall over “Fuck! Don’t do that, shitface”

As he turned, he appreciated the face of one of his best mates and his girlfriend right beside him, both of them looking just as euphoric as his own girlfriend, and acting concerned for his lack of excitement tonight, which was good for a season like this. No work, free time, a night to remember… it was weird for Tom to be so serious, it was only on him to make it look as natural as it could be.

“Why are you sitting down?” Tuwaine asked.

“That is exactly what I said” (Y/n) argued, as he watched the pair taking a seat right in front of them.

“I don’t feel like dancing tonight, I enjoy watching you trying to get some moves right” Tom excused, directing an awkward grin to his best friend.

“I do a good job, compared to you, you just do alright” Tuwained mocked.

Allison, his girlfriend, laughed “Good one” she giggled, pinching his cheek and grabbing the drink she has been sipping from for the last half an hour.

They’ve been at this bar for a while already, Tom has lost count of how long it has been since they arrived, but for all he knows, he has done through a couple of drinks already, and he would keep going, but he can’t. He needs a clear mind tonight and he couldn't mess that up.

“Another round, gentlemen? Tequila, (Y/n)?” Allison offered, raising a hand for the waiter to come.

“I wouldn’t mind that” (Y/n) shrugged, showing a smile.

“I’ll have one more too” Tuwaine agreed, nodding to his girl as he leaned on the table.

He had to admit he was taking this situation better than he expected. He held his girl’s hand, kissed her on the cheek, caught up on a previous conversation with his best friend, took the liberty to take another beer, and before he knew it, the situation was looking more normal in his eyes.

It was the first time in months he’s been in a bar in London, he has been out for work and all over the world for so long, having some time to stay home made him feel calmed and better. After staying at his apartment, reflecting on life and hardly going out for almost a full week, it was the first time in a very long time he had a night out with his close ones and he was grateful for it.

… but still he was extremely sorry for this night to be the night.

With his head off elsewhere, he kept his girl close as he nodded at the words of his best friend, sipped on his beer and heard (Y/n) ask questions to keep the conversation alive. He didn’t comment or participated, he just listened, he didn’t want to take part in the mix and say anything stupid, he just needed to be present and act natural.

It was difficult to remain fairly sober when he had to face something like this, it was his third drink already, and without intending it, he was going through it faster than usual, maybe it was because he was barely speaking, but as the conversation went on, the bottle became empty as time passed, and he didn’t like that. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to gain himself an assisted ride home and slide words of his mouth that weren’t intended, he needed to get ahold of himself, unless he wanted to start creating wrong opinions from his closest friends.

The light shifted in the room, the DJ became inspired, and in the blink of an eye everyone in the crowd started cheering with excitement. It wasn’t weird at all, he knew why, those were 90’s songs, everyone loves those. The night was starting to come alive with every second and he could see his friends vibing with it, he could see it in how their faces changed and the mood lit up even more. For a second he felt jealous, very jealous. They were having a genuinely good time, and here he was, making a mess of his own mind by worrying about something that has been hammering him for weeks.

He couldn’t wait to get it out of his head. He couldn’t wait to feel himself again.

“Oof I love that song, that’s it” Allison cheered, grabbing (Y/n)‘s sleeve and jumping with excitement. “Bye, boys”

As usual, she just laughed at her friend’s reaction and jumped off her seat at that weird queue, looked back at Tom suggestively and nodded towards the dance floor.

He shifted uncomfortably.

“Go dance, we’ll stay here” Tom assured both of the girls, silently telling Tuwaine to make him company.

Surprisingly none of them fought him, like he was expecting them to. Allison just grabbed (Y/n)’s hand and took off to the dance floor, because she was already too drunk and she couldn’t wait, her body was in need of a bit of dancing. (Y/n) looked back on his direction, giving him an apologetic smile that he waved off without even thinking about it, because there was nothing to apologize for, she was always apologizing for everything.

She deserved to have a bit of fun alone with her friend. He knew she stressed a lot and needed a break, it was a good idea to just let her be, sing and dance until she could forget about whatever she was stressing about this time.

She is a hard working girl, that is why he loves her so much.

“You’re a bit off mate” Tuwaine mumbled to him. Moving on his seat to be closer.

His eyebrows raised, he almost choked with his beer, but he groaned it off, he didn’t want to come off as nervous, although it looked like he was failing. What was happening to him tonight, he didn’t know, but whatever he knew about acting was wearing off, because he was failing at it, and now all he could do was face reality.

“Really?” He asked, trying to seem surprised, but not too much.

“Yeah” Tuwaine said, like it was obvious. “you alright?” He asked, genuinely concerned, slowly turning serious.

Tom hesitated for a second. He didn’t wish to engage anyone into anything, this was something he has been thinking about and it was more of a personal fight, he didn’t want other people to get involved. However, Tuwaine has been his right hand for such a long time, he understood why it worried him to see him like this, because if it was his case, he would feel like that too. He couldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt, that would be mean, he trusted him, so he guessed it would be better to tell someone than to do this and have no one know about this beforehand. It would be like walking on it alone… right?.

“Yeah! Always” he assured, nervously fidgeting with the bottle in his hands.

He thought about it for a second, doubted himself and then… he just gave up.

“Actually, I don’t know” he let out, looking directly at him. “Can I tell you secret?” he mumbled.

Tuwaine shot him a weird look, raised his eyebrows and asked “Right here?” as he looked around the room and moved closer to his friend so he could hear him right.

“Yes” Tom nodded “Just act natural, it doesn’t have to be a big deal” he warned, looking to his from and forcing a small grin in direction of the two girls dancing not too far from them, who would turn and look at them every once in a while. He didn’t want them to notice the tension that started to build up.

“Okay” Tuwaine agreed, looking up front and mumbling “Whats up?”

Once again, he felt weird, but he needed to be an adult and be able to say this as it was, not with bad intentions, but still being real about what his thoughts were. It was his friend after all, he trusted him, nothing bad could come out from this… yet.

“I’ve been thinking about... stuff, a lot, lots of things going around and after having some serious reflections about this, I think... I don’t know” he started, not really finding the right words to introduce the situation, because there were no right words to say this. It was just complicated. “I think (Y/n) and I...” he tried to explain, but he really couldn’t.

He motioned with his fingers what he tried to say, finding that an easier way to explain the situation than to describe it with words. With both of his index fingers he touched them together and then moved them apart, as simple as that, there was no more to communicate. Tuwaine seemed to piece everything together way too quickly, and Tom was nervous what his reaction could be.

“Really?” he whispered in a very surprised toned, clearly being stunned by that new.

Tom nodded shyly. “Yes” he mumbled back.

Tuwaine blinked, clearly being confused and surprised by all this, like Tom expected.

He was aware that dropping this bomb would be anything but easy, and that there would always be a reaction from any of the parts. First of all, because he has been with the same girl for already four years, they love each other, they live together… it was a hard decision, but the hardest thing of it all, was that this was something that would have consequences in more than one aspect and they all knew that very well, it would be a chaos, he was absolutely terrified of it.

“Wow” Tuwaine said, letting out a big sigh as he asked “Is everything alright with you two?”

Tom pressed his lips together, now really getting nervous “It’s fine, it’s okay, it’s just...” he tried to explain. “Listen I’m going to sound like a real asshole right now but it is really the whole truth” he warned, because now it really could get worse from here. “I think I want to be with other people” he said shyly, looking for approval in his friend’s eyes as he said his truth.

Tuwaine looked anything but happy at that response, he looked deep into Tom’s eyes, took a second and nodded his way, giving him the chance to explain himself once.

“Go on” he said harshly, he jaw showing some tension that made him even more uncomfortable.

Tom nodded back, and prepared himself to make this one short and sweet.

“See, I’m only 23 and she is just 21, we’ve been on this relationship for around four years and I have had a good time but I just thought about it and I am not ready for commitment, mate, I am young, I need to explore a bit more and see other girls other than her, live new experiences, you know what I’m saying?” He asked, turning to look at him. “I love her, I really do, but really... I think I’m ready to move on and explore” he shrugged “it really had nothing to do with her, I’m just thinking, hey, I’m still young enough to see a little more aside from the first girl I ever started a real thing with, it’s not like we’re married, maybe it’s time both of us meet new people” he explained, trying to make it sound somehow better, but it was just the whole truth.

Tuwaine looked unsure and certainly surprised by his friends speech. Tom understood that Tuwaine was probably not expecting something like this to come up on a night like this, but the truth is that there was never going to be a right moment, and by this time there was a certain urge for Tom to let it out. He has been rounding this thought for a while, it wasn’t just something that popped out in his mind. It might be surprising, but it wasn’t random.

“I don’t know, are you sure about this?” Tuwaine doubted “I mean, look at her” he said, turning to look back at the girls “She looks very happy now that you’re here, and I mean, she is pretty, smart, she loves having you around, she helps you a lot, are you sure you want this?” He asked Tom, doing his best to make him reconsider his decision.

With this, Tom knew his friend was not agreeing with his argument. But it was natural, he was her friend too, and they were good friends. None of them would want to see her sad, but this is how things rolled now. He took a decision and he would stand by it.

“Yeah, I mean...” he mumbled, looking at her for a second “I don’t want her to just vanish out of my life, I figured we could always be friends and whatnot” he sighed, shaking his head at the thought of her just… going away.

Tom turned his head towards his friend. He was never seen him with such marked frown but still calmed look on his face, clearly trying to remain normal. He wasn’t feeling comfortable and Tom was already getting nervous, this is exactly what he wanted to evict.

“Don’t look at me like that” Tom begged in a mumble “Tuwaine, don’t judge me, please”

“I don’t! I don’t judge you, I swear” Tuwaine said, snapping out of it and holding up both of his hands “Hey, Listen, I think you’re making a mistake, alright? but if you thought about it and you’re sure, then go for it” he shrugged, trying to show some respect to him “But be careful, okay? That’s all I can say, if that’s what will make you happy, I support you, you know that” he assured him, nodding his way and trying to crack a smile.

Tom knew that was not the most honest answer from his part, that hurt, but he bought it. There really was not a better outcome for this moment. He knew no one was going to tell him it was the right decision, but he knew what he was about to do, even when it didn’t seem like so, he has thought this through.

“Thanks mate” He thanked him, leaning in to pat on his shoulder.

As time passed he grew more nervous, now that he has revealed his big secret to someone, not only that, now that he has revealed it and also was alone with the only person who knew his secret, he was feeling even worse than before. Good thing of having someone know of his secret was that he was passing onto him very good advice. He would tell him what she should say and what not to say, what he would do, his perspective, some past experiences that might help him… if anything, he was starting to feel this moment was starting to become a bonding moment for him and Tuwaine, sure it was not the best situation, but sharing this kind of information with him somehow felt special.

Tuwaine would speak a lot, and so did he, trying to explain a little bit how he was come to this decision while he could, as well as giving Tuwaine the chance (and privilege) of commenting on his master plan, that might as well go wrong, but it could be less bad if he fixed some aspects of it with the help of his friend.

Their conversation seemed cut off when suddenly the girls disappeared in the crowd of people, and barely making themselves noticeable, appeared behind them trying to make it seem like a surprised, and once again completing the group that just a couple of minutes ago was incomplete.

(Y/n) slid her arms around Tom, let him hold her hands as they laid on his chest and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. Typical move of her, she loved to have him like this, and he was not mad at it, at all. He felt warm, safe, home…

Focus, Tom, God dammit.

“Are we ready to go?” He asked, as he turned his head and let her leave a small peck on his lips.

A small frown appeared in her forehead, as she walked around him to face him directly and hugged his waist to keep him close. He could see she was missing having the opportunity to have him this close, after months apart, she was missing him a lot and it was showing. On his behalf, It was wrecking him from the inside out, but he was an actor and right now he needed to mask this one.

“What? You want to go already?!” AIlison exclaimed, sounding completely outraged by his question.

He shrugged, hugged his girl close and left a small kiss on her forehead. He needed an excuse to get out of here, this was the best chance he could find.

“Are you tired, bubs?” (Y/n) asked softly, looking up at him.

“A little bit, I’m going to lie” he nervously laughed, shrugging a little “Jet lag is a real bitch” he said, but he didn’t mean that.

Jet lagged has already passed. He has recovered his usual schedule for a couple of days now, he was fine. It was just the perfect excuse to get him out, he knew no one would fight him while playing this card.

“That’s true” (Y/n) agreed, leaving a kiss on his cheek and grabbing her purse on the table.

He made sure to turn back at Tuwaine with a suggesting look, so he understood it was time and he needed him and his girlfriend to vanish elsewhere. Right now he just needed to be alone with his girl and make every possible thing in his hand to not fuck anything up.

“We can go then too, I’ll call an Uber” Tuwaine announced, finishing his drink in one sitting, and getting up from his seat. Queue for everyone to do the same.

“Already? c’mon” Allison whined, showing a pout as she followed her boyfriend’s moves.

“Don’t worry babe, I have an idea” Tuwaine mumbles to her, trying to make this situation look just a bit better.

Making their way out of the bar was difficult, it was crowded, however, it is even more difficult to make it out of there when there are people around that knew Tom’s face, called his name, touched his shoulders and even stepped in the way to just wave his wave. Sometimes it could become very overwhelming. One way or another, and one step at a time, they made their way out of the place and into the cold and shiny streets of London at night.

Tonight was not the most busy night for London’s bar, in fact, for them it was the perfect night to go out for a drink, but it was still crowded enough to build up a proper party. There were a lot of people around, however, there were not enough, so they could easily be able to step out in the street without getting mobbed with people recognizing him and only occasionally see a couple people around that would either call his name or wave at him, those were the best kind of nights, they were the best because he could chill and fool around with his friends without having too much eyes on him. Somehow it made him feel like he was just another guy going out in London.

They stepped into the streets of the city, looking for their usual spot to call a taxi. Him having (Y/n)’s hand in his and guiding her through the small crowd in front of the bar and making sure she was with him at all times. It has just rained, he knew that, it was noticeable on how blingy everything looked now and it didn’t before, also on how this new fresh air ran through the air, he was not expecting the weather to change like this so suddenly.

He looked back at his girlfriend, just to make sure she was not feeling the same as him or even worst, checking if she was cold so he could lend him his jacket if needed; she was definitely the kind of girl who got cold easily. Instead, the moment he turned around, he found her grabbing onto his arm just a little tighter and fighting her feet as she walked and stumbled onto her side in a dumb move when she tried to step in.

“Hey” Tom chuckled, grabbing her arms as a reflect “Was that you stumbling?” He asked, holding her still.

Her lips opened, then closed and cracked into a smile. “No” she answered, standing up straight.

He looked at her with a suspicious look that she detected in less than a millisecond. She laughed, and before he could even notice her arms were all over him, wrapping him into a hug and clinging into him. He laughed, leaned into her and kissed her lips softly, hold her close and really took in this moment. He loved it, he loved this, but he would miss it, having her here and now was something he had thought about pretty often while he was gone, and now that it was happening, it was a shame that he was going to ruin it soon.

“What if we get lost?” He whispered over her lips, kissing her cheek, and pulling her more into him.

She smiled and nodded, making him understand that they were already going home, it was obvious. He nodded back, making her know, he was actually meaning something else.

“What?” She asked, now clearly being confused.

“We” he signaled “are getting lost” he announced, already assuming there was no way she would say no to this.

Even when she doubted… he was right. She looked at him in doubt for a second and by the look on her face, it was clear that she would go with the flow of whatever he had in mind, it was just perfect.

“Okay” she mumbled, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it lightly.

Tom smiled widely, everything was going well, now he just needed to calm down, he could already feel his nerves spiking up on his spine, waiting for the worst part to happen and be over. He was turning more anxious by the second.

Thank god he’s been trained to mask this kind of shit, it was really growing on him and the last thing he needed was making a show in the middle of a public place because he was incapable of ‘playing it cool’ when he needed to.

“Guys, we’re going to take a walk home” he announced to the couple in front of them, as he grabbed his girls hand and guided her with him.

Allison immediately turned up to then and frowned. When things came out a little different, she usually made a lot of questions, but this time Tuwaine had this covered, when he immediately stepped in and wrapped his arm around Allison’s shoulders he was saving his ass from panicking, big time.

“Are you sure? The Uber is almost here” Tuwaine asked, showing him the lit up screen on his phone.

Tom smile and nodded in response.

“Yeah, we can take the long way” he shrugged, slowly walking back and taking (Y/n) with him.

“It is a very long way, are you sure you don’t want a ride?” Allison asked, genuinely sounding concerned.

“It’s shorter than you think!” Tom exclaimed, slowly turning around and making his way out.

He could sense Allison just about to fight him into coming with them into the uber, but the situation was quickly diffused by her boyfriend, who immediately sensed, it was probably better they made their way out by themselves and not step into uncomfortable situations before anything could happen.

“Leave them, I have somewhere we can go” He heard Tuwaine mumble to her quietly, thing that relaxed her and made any possible questions fade out. “See you Monday!” he created Tom as he walked away.

“See you, mate!” he waved back, saying goodbye and finally getting what he wanted.

It might raise some sort of suspicion, but this is exactly what he was asking for, a walk with (Y/n), that was it…

Now he just needed to get it together.

As they walked under the cold streets of London, Tom held her hand tightly and swung it back and forth slightly as they walked and he heard her speak, telling him stories and putting him up to date with everything. They made their way around effortlessly, already knowing where to go and how to get into quitter places where they could really be alone, they knew this place like the back of their hands, getting lost was easy, but really getting lost, for them was both easy and a pleasure. London is a beautiful city, but it is even more beautiful when you know those spots where no one else went, and that is exactly what they went for, a bit of privacy and somewhere where they could walk peacefully.

With just a bit of patience and taking the right ways, in no time they were entering themselves into the best shortcuts of the city. Suddenly, everything so much calm than before, no one else was there staring, or speaking, or calling his name, it was just them on the quietness of the streets, walking hand in hand like dumb teenagers in love. For them everything was always like if they were dumb teenagers.

He had to admit that for a second he really thought she would never buy that poor excuse he gave her to get them out of that place. In fact, he really thought she would be mad for him making them walk instead of taking a cab, however, it happened to be the complete opposite. She was looking way overly excited for having this kind of moment with him, she would walk around the middle of the street in a slightly faster pace than him, almost giving small jumps of excitements as they walked and going on into a story that clearly excited her. On the other side, he wouldn’t speak, he would just listen, made small comments and let her go on; seeing her being so excited was adorable, but he was already starting to feel terrible and it was showing. On his mind, he was trying to find the way to turn this around and make this be as mild as it could possibly be.

“You are quiet tonight” She mentioned from all sudden, stopping her story and looking back at him with a comforting smile. Obviously trying to calm him down without saying much, like she would usually do at times.

Right now he really wished that would work the same.

“No, I’m not” he excused himself, shrugging it off as he turned to look back at her.

She chuckled at his dumb answer. “Yep” she answered back, squeezing his hand as she mumbled. “Yes, you are”

Maybe it was time for him to set the mood and get serious, get into something more than just an exciting story and tone it down, that way he thought it might be easier to introduce such a thing later. The last thing he wanted was to burst her bubble from happy to concerned from all sudden, it would be so much worst.

“Sorry” he apologized, directing to her a bit of a shy smile “I'm just a little...”

“Stressed?” she guessed, cutting him off and taking him completely off guard.

Words were struggling to come out of his mouth, he wasn’t expecting her to see him stressed, even though he was, he thought he was playing it off well, looking normal and relaxed, like he usually was. Now he sees he was wrong.

“I get it, tour week it’s coming and you barely get a proper break, it kind of sucks” she mentioned, shrugging a little as she looked up front.

I’m a way she was right. He was grateful mind reading wasn’t a thing, but in certain way, she had nailed the fact that there was something in him bothering him from that aspect. He loved his job, but sometimes he couldn’t help to keep thinking about what was coming next, even when he was on vacation. This is one of those situations, however, this time there was a plus.

“Yeah, That” he chuckled nervously, as he looked down “Im having re-shoots after that” he also mentioned, keeping the conversation up.

Her eyebrows raised. “Where?” She asked.

“Atlanta”

It was surprising he did not mentioned this to her before, being such an important fact about him leaving for work, again. He usually kept this to himself, although he wouldn’t keep a secret about him leaving, he just didn’t feel like mentioning everything he had to do; he thought it made everything seem a little overwhelming, taking things slow was a better option.

“Wow” she sighed. “you don’t ever get a break, do you?”

He chuckled slightly. “No” he said “I need to learn my lines” he also mentioned, almost as a reminder to himself.

Another responsibility he needed to get his hands on before things piled up.

“Can I take a look at them?” she asked in a happy tone, already looking excited about something like this.

He smiled shyly, acting as if he would think about it, but once he turned to see her, she already knew what he was going to say. “Sure” he let out, squeezing her hand a little bit as she jumped in excitement.

He couldn’t say he was surprised about this, she was always trying to check things out when it came to his scripts. Prompts of having her, she really enjoyed all of the world of screenwriting, she always looking for so much information that it came in handy when she had comments over scripts he had to do. It helped him a lot and at the same time he hoped it helped her as well, after all, this was something she enjoyed with her whole heart.

“I have exams in two weeks, you came right in time” she mentioned, changing the topic as she let go of his hand and went in to walk over the yellow line of the sidewalk. “Right before you leave, I’ll be starting my vacation, I might even grow a pair to see you in action, mister” she mentioned, making a funny face at him and winking his way.

He laughed at her silly moves. She was the kind of person that every time she had some sort of boost of energy, it would show, this was one of the situations. She would walk over that yellow line trying to maintain balance and (for sure) acting like a little girl, she was looking for something to do as they made their way home and that would keep her active. It was certainly adorable. It was hard for him to keep track of the conversation as he watched her, it was somehow entertaining how she moved so gracefully and at the same time rambled like crazy as she spoke.

“What do you mean ‘see me in action’, lady?” he answered, imitating her teasing tone “You’ll make it to the premier?” he asked, letting his eyebrow raise unconsciously.

“Yes, to the premier!” she exclaimed, jumping in place. “I already have it thought out and everything, it will be really fun” she mentioned, giving a small twirl on her feet as she walked, keeping her little game over that line, never for a second letting herself fall.

He shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling the tension over power his body. She had so much in mind, he did too. It was going to be an impossible task to burst her bubble in a gentle way because she already had high hopes over the future. He was about to ruin everything.

He is a bad person.

“I’m sure it will” he mumbled, not being aware of how it came out but suddenly realizing, his nervousness was really starting to show up.

She turned to look at him, obviously noticing the sudden change in his mood. Her face showing a slight and concerned frown on her face. He tried to mask it with a neutral look, but it really was not working now. He just stepped into a weird zone and he didn’t know how to get out, there was not going back now.

“What?” she chuckled awkwardly, trying to read his look.

His eyebrows raised. “What? What?” he answered back.

They looked at each other intensely for a good couple of seconds. Her trying to read him and him trying to act like nothing was going on. He was failing, of course, because once she took her eyes out of him, it was clear that she sensed something was off, and once again, she’d be right.

“You’re acting weird” she mentioned, stepping out of the sidewalk and towards him. “are you nervous about it?” she asked.

For a second, he completely panicked. What did she mean by ‘it’? Did she already knew what he was about to do?.

It only took him a couple seconds to realize she was actually talking about the one movie he has been working on for the past years and that hasn’t come out yet, but it will and yes, he was nervous about that too. He was rarely nervous, but this was something that also had him at the edge of his seat. He was glad she could read into that too, because at the moment it was a good mask for his weird behaviour.

“It’s my first movie for a overly famous company, I’m shitting myself” he nervously chuckled as the words left his mouth “Marvel is one thing, but this... Oof” he sighed, not being able to explain it well.

The smile on her face was very comforting. “It’ll be great” she assured him, taking his hand in hers “we all love Pixar and you are great in voice acting”

He shrugged “I don’t know” he mumbled “I was really nervous in the shooting sessions, I don’t think it’s my best” he admitted sincerely.

A shy silence fell between them. He guessed that she didn’t have much to say, he didn’t know what to say either. The truth was there were a lot of things going on in his life that made him this nervous, those were things he still had a hard a hard time controlling and he knew that even when it killed her to see him like this, she didn’t know how to handle this either. Having him like this was fairly odd.

“Is that what got you like this?” She asked shyly. He didn’t answered, he thought it was better to not say anything. She took that in as an answer and smiled. “You know my cousin always says something really wise that I don’t know if you’ve heard before but it says something like: tu n'as pas besoin d’impressionner tout le monde, fais des choses avec amour et les personnes intéressées se manifesteront” she recited, as expected, he didn’t get it, he had no clue of French. “which essentially means... if you liked what you did and you worked for it, then people will love it, and if they don’t...” she shrugged “they don’t know what they’re talking about”

He smiled.

It was nice how no matter what the conflict was in his head that bothered him in the most minimal way, she always knew what to say and I’m one way or another, it made him feel a lot better. This it was not exactly what he was looking for, but he gave her that. Watching her use her wisdom on him was a gift, he enjoyed it, even when it was not the situation, he wanted to hear one of those thoughts one last time.

If it was the last time he would get to hear them…

“Merci” he thanked her, smiling at her shyly.

She smiled back, there was something her that told her that even when he didn’t say much, he would really think about what she just told him and just… relax. That was okay, that was all she wanted and needed.

As they kept walking through those lonely and quiet streets, it was easy for Tom to find a way to change routes without her asking questions. Good thing about knowing this place so well, no matter where they went, everything could be a shortcut one way or another; before they even noticed his plan was going to perfection, just like he had planned, they were entering that isolated park where sometimes they would hangout, walk the dog, have a drink… lots of things. It was a not a strange place for them and it was the the ideal place to just sit and have a serious talk. It was just the place where they needed to be.

As they passed in front of the place, he took the chance to step into the grass surface of the park and entering it without asking if she wanted to go there first, he just did, and almost automatically, he thought it would be a good idea to make his way to the swings. Pretty much the only sitting surface they had in the whole park.

She walked beside him quietly, watching him as he sat down in one of the swings and looked up at her, waiting for her to do that same. The face she made to him was quiet funny, he was being somehow unpredictable and that was really taking her by surprise. At first she showed to be unsure, but after seeing that he was not going to move from that place in a little while, she gave up and just sat down on the swing beside him.

The atmosphere had become quiet weird and now she was the one becoming nervous, mostly because how intrigued she was, but she didn’t let that show on her, she just went with the flow, she wouldn’t let a bad feeling let her make a fool of herself.

“Why are we here?” She asked, swinging herself back and forth softly as she looked his way.

“I just thought we could sit down for a while” he mentioned quietly “have a talk” he shrugged.

It was weird, she thought, but she let it pass.

“Okay” she mumbled, nodding a little bit and not asking anymore questions.

She looked around the place, admiring the quietness that surrounded them and the sounds of nature that made themselves noticeable at this time. This place was surrounded by a neighborhood, a very nice one, that happened to have very nice houses with very nice gardens that most of the times served as houses for little insects and frogs that helped create such a nice environment. One of those houses actually happened to be her aunt’s house, pretty much the only piece of close family she had in the entire city to count on while her family was at the other side of the world, so you could say this place was no strange to her, it was a familiar environment, it almost felt like home.

“Oh, would you look at that” she laughed, taking a look at the big white house on their front “Look who’s awake” she said, pointing out to the only window of the house that showed a turned on light.

He hummed and looked that way.

“Little Franky is messing around at three in the morning, busted” she chuckled to herself “I bet he’s - like - watching porn or working or reading, but he should be sleeping, that’s a fact, he has school or whatever” she mentioned.

If there was someone she loved in this world with her entire heart was her cousin, Frank. Some may say they are siblings from another mother and the same family, but for her, that guy is her freaking soulmate. There was no one in this world that understood her better than him, and the fact that he was also in London, at the same time at her, that was priceless. They were used to being apart all of the time, having him close was just like a blessing.

“Isn’t he driving you tomorrow?” he asked, in a poor attempt of being chatty.

She smiled. “Sure, but only in the afternoon, I’m not the one who has to wake up super early” she shrugged, thinking about it for a second, seeing how her cousin’s head peeked from the window and disappeared in matter of a second. “Oh, I know what it is! I think he has some new friends in Paris, I heard, he’s probably playing video games, lame” she mocked, rolling her eyes.

He laughed at her reaction, he sensed how much she would like to be there to tease him, but it was not the time. It was adorable anyway, their relationship was adorable.

“You’re a bully, have you heard?” he teased, bumping his knee to hers.

“Stop” she fake whined, now rolling her eyes at him and looking his direction. “I have to admit, I thought we would be going home right away, have some time alone for once” she shrugged, now being more serious. “Huh? you have been home for weeks and we’ve hardly had… you know, a night for us”

The chuckle that came out of his lips was the most awkward move that he has made in his entire life, and he has done plenty of stupid shit. At this point, it was impossible for him to mask anything, it was almost like his abilities to play it cool have worn out entirely. He needed to get serious and think this through.

He didn’t want to do this and mark a wrong impression, he wanted to make things right, but with his nerves playing him like this, he was afraid he would fuck things up in a heartbeat.

“Yeah, about that” he said softly “I kind of wanted to talk to you about something”

She was too smart. The second he said that in that tone was the second her face changed completely, she knew something wasn’t right and it was starting to concern her. He felt terrible for that, he didn’t like when she worried like this.

“Are you okay?” she asked in a serious tone “Seriously, Tom, I don’t understand what is happening, you’re acting really weird” she said, a nervous chuckle coming out of her lips, as she looked at him directly and gave him all her attention.

“I am fine, I really am” he said, immediately “and let me just say, you are too, there is nothing wrong with you, you are one of the nicest beings ever, beautiful, smart and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, nothing”

He felt like he needed to point that out, he wanted her to know it was all him, not her, make it clear before she started to have second thoughts. Although it did sound like every breakup excuse, it was the truth, he needed to lay that out.

“Okay” she said awkwardly “Thanks...”

“I really mean it” he said quickly “there is absolutely nothing wrong with you”

“What?” she sighed, already growing even more nervous. “Listen, you are really creeping me out”

He nodded, he was already starting this with the wrong foot, he needed to fix this up before his nerves betrayed him entirely.

“Sorry” he apologized “I just thought it would be easier if we came here, somehow this place calms me down” he admitted, looking around and taking a short second to breath. The tension was building up quicker than he anticipated

“Because is the only place no one is eavesdropping?” she asked, her eyebrow raising in question.

“And because I know that every time I am here, you are always with me, no matter if you are actually here or in my mind, you just… make me company” he mumbled.

Somehow his hand managed to find hers, and he held her tight for a good second. Already refusing to let go, at least for now. He just needed to hold her one more time, even if it was the last time he would have the chance…

“Something is bothering you, something other than your job” she said, stating the situation without asking what was happening, again.

He nodded, her statements were right, just now in the way she thought.

“Take a break, let’s go home” she insisted, squeezing his hand and encouraging him to get up and go home.

Without her noticing, she was silently encouraging exactly what he has been struggling to say in weeks, and she had no idea. He has been rounding this for a long time, it was finally time to say it out loud and see what happened. Now is the time, it’s something he needed to do and now that they were at this point of the night and right where he planned to be, it was time.

He looked at her straight in the eyes, took a deep breathe and just said it. It was just as easy as that.

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot, I think it might be good for us if we took a break” he finally said to her, being careful with his words and keeping it simple.

It was not easy to let this out, but once he did, it felt like taking a weight off his shoulders. If it should feel like that or not… for him it felt great.

After he said that, she paused for a second. It was clear that she didn’t know what to say or how to react, it was too sudden and she wasn’t ready for something like this. Whatever she could do or say now, he didn’t know.

“A what?” she asked in confusion “When I- I didn’t mean you took a break like this, silly, I meant a break from work, what do you mean a break?” She mentioned nervously, struggling to really understand what was happening “Tom, what do you mean?” She asked again.

He noticed it was being difficult for her to process the bomb that he just dropped to her. She understood perfectly, but she could only hope that she misunderstood the situation and it was only a joke he was trying to play. It was not.

“I mean, maybe we should take some time to see other people, take a break from each other and maybe if we don’t feel comfortable and we’re both up to it...”

…go back, he implied, hoping he had made himself clear on what he tried to say.

I’m situations like this, it was very difficult to not look like the bad guy, but at the same time, it was even more difficult to handle the whole conversation without saying the wrong thing and make it as easy as he could. He didn’t want her to feel bad or cry, but that was impossible because it was already happening, the fact it was getting out of hand without him intending it was frustrating.

He wanted to take a hold of it. He didn’t want this to end up like in a wrong way, but it was failing quicker than he thought and it scared him.

“Did I do something?” She asked, her voice broken and eyes shining.

The atmosphere was slowly changing around her. Her breathing was heavier, she was quiet, her hands tried to stay still and the flow panic that flew out of her head without her noticing was impressing. He felt terrible. He was the one responsible for breaking her bubble, she was happy, and now she was not, she was crying. It was all on him.

“You didn’t do anything” he made clear once again. “I just think we should take some time for each other, we see each other all of the time when I’m out of work, we have lived together for two years, there is not a time ever were we aren’t alone, do you know what I mean?” he tried to explain, as best as he could “Baby, I love you more than you could ever imagine, but we are young and I need space… we need space”

At the mention of space, she sobbed. If there was something she was terrified of, was space. She never had a problem with leaving him be and let him do whatever he wanted, that applied to her as well, she liked to have liberty herself, but there was something inside of her, a big irrational fear of being alone without the ones she loved around her.

He knew very well how anxious this made her and how sensitive this topic was, he has heard stories and he knows she was completely terrified of people leaving her. This was not the case, he would never let this be the case, he would never leave her life just like so.

“Couples that take breaks never get back together” she mumbled.

“We could be the exception” he argued.

“How?!” she snapped, breaking the peace of the silence of the night and for once, showing this small contained anger she had inside.

More than anger, what she had was a lot of questions. It didn’t made sense in her head how he has decided to bring this up now and the fact that it was so sudden made her struggle. She was scared of what could possible happen next, she was too used to this… what is going to happen now?.

“You’re not making this any easier” he mumbled, getting even more nervous himself, now that she was having this reaction.

“So was this…?” she tried saying, but her breathing was too heavy, she could hardly speak. “Why? Why are you doing this? Where is this coming from?” she rambled, not containing herself at all.

“Darling” he mumbled “Calm down first, lets just talk, the least thing I want to do is hurt you” he said softly.

“You’re hurting me now” she whispered back, breaking his heart slowly.

He made sure to hold her hand tight and run his finger on the back of it. He was hoping it would help calm down, it would usually work, but he guessed it wouldn’t be that easy this time.

This was really fucked up.

She was crying and he didn’t know what to do or say. Before he could even notice, he was actually on his knees in front of her, watching from another angle how she cried and poured her heart out. He held her hands tight and tried to keep it together.

He hated this so much, but it necessary, this was something they needed for the sake of both of their relationship. He didn’t pretend to be selfish, he just needed to state that it might be the time for them to separate for a little while, even if it hurt, it was time, sooner or later, this had to happen.

“We’ve been together for four years” he explained softly “I love you, you know that, but... don’t you ever wonder how it would be to be with someone else? have a moment for you? live with no attachments, at all?” he asked, trying to state his point.

“No” she said in a outraged tone.

He was not surprised, she was a very introverted person; once she got comfortable around something, she could spend her whole life around it and not be bothered at all, she liked routine and stability, it was just how she was. For him it was the complete opposite, he liked to shake things up every once in a while, so much of the same drove him crazy and sometimes he just needed to see different things. It wasn’t his fault, he was just like that.

“Well I do” he said, still in a calmed tone.“Call me insane, but I’m curious; and even when I wished I didn’t have to leave you, or something else, I figured, I want to be honest with you no matter what” he admitted, holding her hands close to him he whispered a soft “I love you” and kissed the back of them softly. “I just ask you for a couple of weeks, a month maybe, not even” he almost begged, still being very consistent with his proposal.

Her silence remained intact for a while, she seemed unable to speak or elaborate something appropriate for this moment, she just stared at him, on his knees in front of her and begging for her to understand what went to his mind. She wanted to, she really did, but there was something else inside of her that told her this was very wrong and it was not fair this was even happening.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but” she started saying, in an attempt to speak normally “Are you breaking up with me because you want to be with someone else? Are you bored of me?”

He didn’t know how to answer to that, it was difficult to answer that without sounding like an asshole and she was asking difficult questions.

“It’s not like that” he mumbled.

“Then, correct yourself, because it sounds like that” she argued, sniffing as tears left her eyes, demanding for a proper answer.

At this moment he decided, this was going to be a difficult conversation to get around, so if he wanted to make this clearer he needed to be transparent with her. Trying to make this friendlier to not hurt her was going to fail anyway, he needed to get this out of the way and be honest. He was already stepping on this, the only thing he had left was finishing it.

They could be here all night, but if he didn’t tell her the truth, they would never get to a solid point.

“I just want to have a moment for myself” he snapped, finally confessing what was in his mind “Not like a man who has a distance relationship, because god knows how many times we’ve been over that, I want to feel how it is to be single” he said “I know this terrible and you will probably hate me after this but the only thing I want is… be”

“And then what? Take me back? I’m not a toy, Holland, you can’t just leave me aside and then take me back whenever you feel like it” she argued, a big frown growing on her forehead as she spoke.

Her hands left his in an abrupt move, he could almost feel how she was drifting away from him slowly. He wanted to stop that, get her back. Things were getting out of hand too quickly and he was terrified.

“You’re not understanding my point” he said in a very serious tone. “I’m not doing this just for myself, I think this will be healthy for both of us” he whispered. “We’re young adults; with my job and the amount of compromise I have with so many people, I don’t feel like I’m on the right mindset for anything” he explained, still trying to make things clear. “I love being with you, don’t ever believe that I don’t, but I just want to feel what it is to be single and just...” he motioned “free of everything”

The feeling of the air feeling his lungs was too potent, this much explaining was too much for him, especially at this time of the night, when he was half drunk and tired to keep up with this.

“Is that supposed to mean that I am a responsibility for you?” she mumbled, her voice getting darker as she spoke.

“Babe, of course” he said, her mouth widened in surprise instantly; he said the wrong thing and he knew it well. “not in a bad way, obviously, you’re my girl, I don’t want to lose you, not now or ever, but maybe taking this break will help us... revive the flame”

As soon as he saw the chance, he grabbed both of her hands in his again and kissed the back of them softly. She didn’t resist it, but there was something in the air that told him she wasn’t comfortable.

He was a bad person.

Looking away from his face and into the dark sky of the night, she took a good breath and cried. She cried because it was the only thing she could do to drain her feelings without making this situation worst, even when he started it.

“I-I-I…” she stuttered, trying to say something “Since when have you wanted to…?” she asked, not being able to finish the phrase.

She didn’t need to, he knew perfectly what she meant. It was fair that she asked that, she had the right to know and he had the right to explain it all.

“Since the last time I left” he confessed, opening up to her “I know, I know what you’re thinking and I know it took me the longest time to tell you about this, but I just… I wanted to tell you in person” he said softly “I feel like we have been on a cycle since we started dating, understand me, I just need a breather, I feel like a need a change in my life to get back on track later” he shrugged “This has nothing to do with you, it’s all me, I promise; it hurts for both of us, I am just begging you, let’s give us some time, live our lives, take a break and see how we feel, for once” he begged her, hoping she would understand and know what was happening through his brain.

“But I don’t want to lose you” she mumbled.

“I don’t want to lose you either, and you won’t” he assured her, kissing the back of her hands “I just want to clear my mind, I want you to have you space, relax, let both of us have time for ourselves… not spend all of the time together” he explained one more time “honestly, I’m annoying, don’t you get sick of me?”

He wished this make her feel a lot better. A small smile came out of her lips but there was still sadness in her eyes. She didn’t want to let go and it was too difficult to process everything that was just happening, she was never ready for this, she didn’t even know if the right thing was to let it happen or to fight it. It was a situation she was completely unfamiliarized with.

Although there were a million thoughts running through her mind by the second. When he got back on his feet and leaded her to do the same, she was already thinking about his proposal and it seemed like she had no other option than to take it, because if he already had this decision made, it was impossible he would change his mind, things were already said, there was no going back. Whether she liked it or not, it is what it is and there was nothing she could do about it.

“We can still be friends, right?” she asked.

Tom tensed for a good second. “I think it would be better if we just kept distance”

One of the hardest part of taking this decision was accepting the right thing to do was to not only be apart from each other, but to really keep a distance so things could work the proper way. One of the two of them would break down if they kept contact, so it was better to keep it that way, just until the time was right, he thought, for the time being they just needed a good established break.

“Seriously?” she asked, almost whining at his answer.

He nodded “Just until we’re ready” he mumbled “It’ll just be a while, love, I promise”

He knew this was coming, it’s been happening for a while. When a cry came out of her lips he was the first to pull her into his arms and let her cry the pain away. His heart shrunk at the sight of her pain, but it was his fault and he needed to be empathetic and show support, even when he was hurt as well. He was responsible, but it would be good for them.

“I don’t want to be without you” she cried, holding onto him tightly.

She held him tight and cried on his chest. If it was for her, she would never let go, she didn’t want to let go.

“It’ll be good for us, I promise you, just a couple of weeks” he mumbled, his fingers running through her hair.

“And if you don’t come back? If you feel better without me?” she asked.

Until this moment, he never thought about that part.

What if it felt better to be alone?

“...then maybe, it’s a sign” he said, almost whispering “Of course that won’t happen; we’re a team, we should take this as a time for meditate and reflect on ourselves” he said, looking down at her and mumbling “It’ll be okay”

Part of her wanted to not believe that, there was always something in her that told her this was wrong and he was lying, but something in her heart felt that… deep down, really deep down, he had a reason for all this, and he was right. This had to be mutual, she had no other option than to agree, even when she didn’t want to let him go so easily, the decision was already taken.

She looked up at him, really wanting to look into his eyes, looking for answers. Something in his face showed empathy for her, but there was also something in him that looked serene and peaceful, he looked sure of what he was doing, and unlike her, completely calmed with this whole situation. She envied his capacity to remain so calm. On his lips he showed her a small smile, telling her it would all be okay and there was nothing to worry about, that they would get through this and it would be worth every second, a smile that told her he was more than sure of it.

She didn’t know if it was worth believing that. He didn’t know what would happen, neither did her. Him being so sure about all this made her nervous.

Suddenly the biggest fact of them all hit her.

“Distance…” she mumbled, once it all fell into place. “Where am I supposed to go then?”

Of course this was something she should have worried about sooner, he has and she did not notice about that in any second, her thoughts were too consumed on the fact her four-year boyfriend was leaving her.

He shyly smiled, telling her, he already had it thought out.

It was never a coincidence he decided to take this way home and come to this park in particular. It was never a coincidence they were sitting in front of her aunt’s house, because once they had this conversation, this would be her stop and he would go home, all alone. He already had it thought out and she never guessed what he planned, not even in the slightest bit.

The shock of the moment kept her quiet, she was physically unavailable to speak for a solid couple minutes. Given the time, he decided it was time for her to go where she needed to, so he walked her to the door, it was the least he could do. The fact she would probably get in trouble for knocking at his aunt’s door and ask to stay at this time, that was the least of their problems, he had it already talked out, so the hardest part of the night would be definitely saying goodbye. He wanted to make it as smooth as possible, but letting her go just like this was never going to be easy.

“You can send whoever you want to pick up your clothes and everything you need, even yourself if you want” he let her know as they stepped into the front door. “Just for a couple of weeks, or however you think it is necessary, my door is always open if you need anything” he let her know.

She nodded. “This the last time I will see you, then” she said, he nodded back.

“Just until the time is right” he let her know.

And if it wasn’t right… it would be the last time.

“Will you… call me or anything?” she asked innocently, fearing this would truly be the last time they would ever see each other.

Fearing this would only be the start of her worst nightmare.

“Like I said, I think it would be better if we kept distance” he said, a sad smile showing on his face “but please call me if something happens, anything, for you I will pick up in a second” he said, being sure of every single one of his words.

It was needless to say that he only meant this for necessary things. She knew she wouldn’t be able to make contact with him like before, what he meant right now was only referred to strictly necessary problems, not just any conversation. He would be there for her, but if it was just a casual thing, he wouldn’t be picking up the phone, she would have to look for someone else to talk to.

She never thought this would be happening to them.

“So this is a goodbye” she mumbled “I love you” she said, meaning every single one of her words “and I’m sorry”

His heart broke at the sound of her words. It was not fair that she said that, but he took it, she felt guilty even when she didn’t need to, he couldn’t blame her. This was too sudden, she couldn’t think straight.

“I love you so much” he said in clear words, walking up to her. “you don’t have to apologize for anything”

She smiled, already stating an answer, she knew that.

It was a bad habit, apologizing, it seemed to be something she just did as an instinct and he was always reminding her of that. The fact that he was even reminding her of this in such a moment was ironic.

Taking a step forward, Tom walked up to her and kissed her lips for one last time, not like it was a goodbye, rather than that, he wanted this to be a ‘see you soon’. He placed his lips over hers softly, and making them touch for only a couple seconds, to then slowly step back once it started to feel hard to get away, and before he could get attached, he kept his distance and decided to walk away, go home. Short and sweet, that was the plan.

He kept walking, trying his best to not look back as he left her behind and made his way out. He wanted this, he reminded himself, it was hard but it was something he had to do.

Of course, he wouldn’t just leave without making sure she would get inside, safe and sound; that’s why once he was out of sight, he stopped his pace and just waited, waited to hear that door open and her getting in that house, or at least something that told him there was no way something bad could happen to her while he was not looking. If any of that happen he would never forgive himself.

Part of him expected to hear her cry at the sight of him leaving, but instead, he was surprised when he heard her ring the doorbell straight up. She would get in trouble for that, for sure, but as long as she got in safely, it didn’t matter.

“Yes?” He heard a quiet masculine voice mutter through the intercom.

Frank, of course. The only person who could be up at that time and the only one she probably wanted to speak to at the moment.

“C’est moi (It’s me)” she mumbled through the intercom, speaking in French, only to assure him that it was her indeed.

Frank was no stranger to the language, he was born in France after all, he grew up with it and he was the one teaching her, after all. It was like their way of communicating, their special connection.

“It’s so late, are you drunk or something?” He said in a sort of annoyed tone, sounding tired and done with everything.

“Please Frankie, open up” she whined, holding the tears and barely able to speak.

“One sec”

The tension was building up quick, he felt so guilty. He guessed this is what it took to take such hard decisions.

He felt the impulse of leaving at that moment, once he knew she was finally getting in the house. However, he decided it was better to stay until it was just him in that street; something inside of him didn’t let him take another step while she was still there, he wanted to hear whatever was said, but specially, hear her voice one last time.

Only god knew how much he was going to miss her from now on.

The front door opened, she was finally with someone other than him. Someone familiar.

“Oh Chérie, what happened?” Frank said with worry, once he saw her “Est-ce que ça va? (Are you okay?)” He asked.

“No” she cried, breaking down in a million pieces “He broke up with me” she mumbled to him, with a broken voice “He left me”

Hearing her say that stroke him like he never thought it would. He never thought he wold hear those words coming out of her mouth. He left her, he really did and she really believed that. He left her, after all those years together, and he was very sorry.

The damage was done. He has done what he planned and there was no going back, as difficult as it was, he did what he needed to.

He got what he wanted.

Tom Holland was now a free man.

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ambientstars · 4 years ago

Text

Praise - part 3 (Whittaker!master x reader)

Gif credit: unknown

Warnings: angst, alcohol, eventually nsfw (tied up, blindfolded, praise kink, waxplay), but mostly a bunch of softness you’re welcome

Note: SURPRISE!! I didn’t plan on making a third part to this, but literally one person asked and that all it took for me to write it. This will be the final part because I don’t think I can take it any further. Kind of a longer one this time (2k more than usual) because ya girl tried to put some more storyline into it. Anyway, enjoy my loves!

———

“How do I look?”

You stood facing the mirror, smoothing out your outfit and taking in your reflection.

“You could be wearing a paper bag and I’d still eat you up,” The Master stood behind you, hands on your waist, her fingers digging into you almost painfully. “But I must say you look delicious in this.”

You frowned, confused. “I’m not a snack, you know?”

She laughed, moving hair from your shoulder and placed a wet kiss on the side of your neck. “No, darling, you are the whole meal.”

You turned, amusement clear on your face. “Are you hungry or something? Do you want to go and get some space food instead?”

The Master snorted, stepping away from you and picking up her jacket. “Let’s just go.”

Today was the anniversary of your renewed relationship with The Master. It marked one year of being by her side, of calling her yours and of being the happiest you’d ever been in your life.

And boy, what a year it had been. It started off just like it had before, full of passion, heated desire for one another and spending most days close to each other, taking every opportunity to touch, kiss and caress the other every chance they got.

Except this time, it didn’t fizzle out, it didn’t turn sour and it didn’t become toxic. Your relationship became stronger every day, your trust for each other grew to new heights and you considered it to be healthier than it ever was before.

Tonight you were going out to celebrate, to the club you reunited with The Master at. She had said it would be a nice full circle moment and you had to agree, for if you hadn’t gone there in the first place, you wouldn’t have seen her again and began a new journey with her.

——

The club was just as packed as it always was, each area full of aliens of all kinds, the line to get in twisting around the building.

The Master walked right up to the entrance of the club, ignoring the queue entirely. You hurried along with your hand in hers, trying to keep up with her quick pace despite her high heels.

The bouncer at the door nodded at the timelord in recognition and opened the door without a single word, allowing you both in immediately.

Sometimes it slipped your mind that you see a different side of The Master, others viewing her as dangerous and evil, not to be messed with and granting her whatever it is that she demanded for the sake of their lives.

She led you straight to the bar, pushing past the crowds and stopping at the VIP spot of the bar where orders were taken first before anyone else waiting. She ordered your favourite drink without you having to tell her and it made your stomach flutter that she actually did listen and learn about what makes you click and your favourite things.

The drinks were on the house just like they always were. The Master never paid for anything, ever and it was a hard press to even think of a time you’d seen her with real money in her possession.

“What’s got you so tense, darling?” The Master slipped a hand around your waist and pulled you in close, which admittedly did help to relieve the odd tension in your shoulders. “Relax, enjoy yourself. There’s no danger here. Not with me around.”

You didn’t need to look at her face to know a self satisfacted smirk was painted right across it. “Something just feels off.”

She took the glass from your hand and released her gentle hold on you, effectively removing the protected feeling it gave you. “Why don’t you go and dance for a while? Burn off some of that tension.”

You finally looked at her, your cheeks heating up just at the sight of her under the colourful lights. “I don’t know… I’m not really feeling it.”

Placing your glass on top of the bar, she held your chin between her finger and thumb, and brought her face inches from yourself. “I’m not asking. I want to watch you dance. Now be a good girl and give me a show.”

After a quick peck on the lips, she moved away from you and seated herself at an empty table with a perfect view of the dance floor.

You did as you were told, making your way over to the dance floor and taking a deep breath, trying to push away the bad feeling in your stomach and allowing yourself to enjoy the music playing loudly throughout the building.

You performed as best as you could for The Master, your eyes closed, your hips swaying and your hands roaming your body like you were exploring it for the first time. Eventually your muscles relaxed and you could let yourself move freely with the music, a soft smile gracing your face towards the end of the song.

The sinking feeling in your stomach returned, however, when you opened your eyes expecting to see The Master watching you with a proud look and instead catching the eye of The Doctor who stood only a few meters away from you.

He was with someone, a redhead woman, who stood closely by his side, smiling up at him.

She was beautiful, from what you could tell at this distance with flashing lights in your eyes, her frame petite and clothing that seemed more casual than your own, almost like she didn’t expect to be brought here and instead dressed for a different kind of outing - which didn’t seem entirely impossible given The Doctor’s habit of landing in wrong places at the wrong time more often than not.

You held his gaze for what felt like an eternity, your face no doubt mirroring his own expression of shock, confusion and hurt.

You hadn’t seen or spoken to The Doctor since you left him a year ago, abandoning him yet again without saying goodbye. You often wondered how he was, hoping you’d bump into him one day if only to know that he was still alive and well, your guilt eating you up inside, but now that it was happening, it felt like a metaphorical house of emotion was crushing you, not at all feeling the way you thought it would when you eventually saw him again.

In your stupor you hadn’t noticed The Master come to stand beside you, also looking in The Doctor’s direction, but eyeing up his new companion instead. “See? I told you that you’d be replaced in no time.”

The Master loved a good I told you so moment and this one hurt, like salt in a wound. She was right, of course she was. She knew from the very beginning that your spot would be filled by someone else almost as if you never existed and deep down you knew it too, but a small part of you hoped that it wouldn’t be so soon, that you meant more to him than just someone occupying an empty space in his life and replacing you as soon as you left.

You broke the eye contact with the timelord you once viewed as your best friend and turned to walk in the direction of the restroom. The Master was hot on your heels, throwing an unreadable look towards The Doctor as she also turned.

You fought back tears as you reached the door, flinging it open and pushing past everyone inside to get to the sink, ignoring the grumbles and annoyed comments thrown your way for the intrusion. You leaned against the basin, breathing deeply to try and keep the sobs at bay, your throat tightening.

From beside you, you heard The Master tell everyone inside to leave and give you both some privacy or else face the consequences. Of course they all listened immediately and hurried out until it was just you and her left in the room.

“What’s all this for?” She came to stand beside you, leaning back against the sink next to the one you occupied. “You’re actually sad? Need I remind you, you left him?”

You sniffled and shook your head, willing yourself to calm down. Again, The Master was right. You had been the one to leave him, not the other way around. You had no right to be so upset to see him with someone else when you came here with your own someone - someone he’d been at war with since post childhood, someone he thought would kill you in cold blood, someone who was the last person he wanted to see you run away with.

“I just didn’t think he’d find someone else so quickly.” You released a shaky breath and quickly wiped away a stray tear that had managed to escape. “Just hurts to know I’m so replaceable, that’s all.”

The Master laughed lightly from beside you despite you not having told a joke, her body twisting to face you. She turned you also, holding your shoulders in her hands and forcing you to face her.

“Darling, look at me.”

You did as you were told once again, bringing your watery eyes up to meet hers, the hazel colouring of them appearing darker under the dim and almost useless lighting of the small room.

“First things first, you are not replaceable. And secondly, the man is an idiot.” She rolled her eyes, genuine disbelief on her face. “He brought someone new into his life so fast because he didn’t know what he had standing right in front of him. He doesn’t define your worth, no matter how you felt for him.”

“And you do?”

She smiled softly, moving a hand to rest on the side of your face to gently stroke your pink cheek. “No, my love. Only you do, no one else.”

A warmth came over you, a deep and genuine love for The Master filling your chest. It wasn’t lost on you that during your year together, she had become softer, kinder and more loving. It seemed as if she was a different person from who she was in your first attempt at this relationship, more willing to show vulnerability and voicing her feelings out loud.

Although this was only ever shown to you. To everyone else she was still the heartless monster who killed for fun, none of them understanding how she managed to find someone to love her despite her evil ways. You had to admit that you understood their point of view, but to you, she wasn’t those things.

The door suddenly swung open and in walked the redhead who had taken your spot in The Doctor’s life. She smiled politely and grabbed some tissue from the stall furthest away from you, using it to blot away a wet patch on her tshirt.

“My friend is such an idiot sometimes,” she began talking as if you’d known each other forever. Or at all.

At that The Master made a face at you that said see? He really is.

“Spilt his drink down me while he was distracted by something. Not sure what he was looking at or what he was drinking, but it will come out, right? Do alien drinks stain? I guess I could— I’m sorry, have I interrupted something?”

You hadn’t noticed that by now both you and The Master were staring at the girl with unwelcome looks, your eyes having since dried up and The Masters hand that had fallen to your arm tightening.

“Your friend, what’s his name?”

The redhead gave a look of confusion towards The Master, but remained polite. “The Doctor. Maybe you know him? He’s quite well known.”

Your lover sniggered, stepping away from you and moving towards the other woman. “Indeed.”

You prayed silently that she would be nice, it wasn’t your replacement’s fault you were in this situation. She seemed nice enough and knowing The Doctor as well as you did, he probably hadn’t even told her you existed, that you held her place before her, that he had just been left alone without so much as a word about it.

“Let me buy you a drink.”

The Master’s tone seemed genuine, kind even. You didn’t understand what her motive was, but you sent out yet another prayer that it wasn’t sinister given that your last prayer was seemingly heard and granted.

It took very little time to convince the other woman to allow The Master to buy her a drink, the excuse of let me make up for his mistake passed by your ears and you knew that although it was said directly to the redhead, it was also meant for you.

Your hand stayed firmly planted in The Master’s, a new drink held in your other. You sipped on it slowly, feeling tired at the wide range of emotions you had experienced in such a short amount of time and hearing The Master make small talk with the other woman who also had a new drink in hand.

From the corner of your eye you saw The Doctor standing on his own, just like he had been the first time he’d been left on the dance floor all that time ago, bewildered at what he was seeing.

It suddenly clicked in your mind what The Master was doing, why she had invited the redhead for a drink at the bar. She wanted The Doctor to see that she had yet again taken his friend from him, allowing him to see that they would rather spend time with her than with him and sending out a message that no matter how many times he replaced his companions, she would be there each time to steal them away and give them something better.

The Master was smart and carefully calculated, her plan working perfectly, The Doctor’s fists bunched up and his brows knitting together into a displeased frown.

The redhead eventually felt bad for leaving ‘her friend’ behind and said her goodbyes, making her way back over to the man who still looked lost and angered.

As you sipped on the neon green liquid in the glass you held, you turned your attention back to The Master. She was already looking at you, a brow raised as she waited for you to say something.

“That was painful.”

“I know,” she moved a strand of hair away from your face and behind your ear. “But I had to send a message. No one hurts my girl.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, a surge of emotions yet again came crashing down on you like a tsunami. Tears brimmed your eyes once more and had The Master not pulled you in for a loving kiss, your bottom lip would’ve begun to wobble.

“My good girl.” She kissed you over and over again, placing her drink on the bar so that she could wrap her arms around your waist and pull you onto her lap, making you straddle her on the bar stool that miraculously took your combined weight without a problem.

You continued to make out in front of everyone, your arms around her neck and her hands grabbing at your body in a desperate need to feel more of you. It wasn’t long before you unconsciously began to wiggle in her lap, grinding down on her thighs in search of a little friction.

“Take me home.”

The Master smiled against your lips, opening her eyes to search yours for confirmation that you actually meant what you said.

But of course you did. You wanted nothing more than to be in the comfort of your own home in the TARDIS and to spend the rest of the night in a blissfully heightened state with your lover on your anniversary.

——

“Bath?”

Stepping into the TARDIS, you shrugged off The Master’s jacket that she had placed over your shoulders to keep away the chill on the short walk from the club to the timeship that she had disguised as a house not even a few minutes away, insisting that it was too cold for you not to wear it because humans feel temperature differently to timelords and you’d freeze to death if you didn’t.

You hummed happily at the thought of soaking yourself in hot soapy water. “I’d love that.”

You both made your way to the bathroom and you began to strip down as The Master ran the water into the tub, joining you in removing her clothes once she had added the bubbles to the running water.

She reached out for you and held you in her arms, both of you naked and falling into a quiet moment where no words had to be spoken to know what each other were thinking and feeling.

Once the bathtub had filled up with enough water, you both slipped in, moaning in unison at the muscle relaxing temperature. You spent a while washing each other and unwinding in each other’s embrace, The Master’s hand slowly rubbing circles between your legs until you shook and came undone for the first time that night.

When the water began to turn cold, you stepped out and dried off, carefully rubbing each other down with soft fluffy towels until you were dry enough to make your way to the bedroom without creating a trail of water droplets behind you, the air drying you off completely by the time you got there.

You laid on the bed patiently, ready and waiting for The Master to join you.

She pulled a pretty patterned tie from the drawer and smiled at you when she came to meet you at the bed, your submissiveness never failing to bring her happiness.

She leaned down to kiss you softly, crawling on top of you in the process. “Arms up, love.”

You obeyed without question, lifting your arms above your head.The Master tied them up, looping the tie between the bars of the bed frame so that you couldn’t bring your arms back down.

“Is this okay?” She brought her kisses down to your neck, wet and warm, and torturously slow.

You moaned out a yes, your stomach twitching at her touch that was moving lower, your toes curling in anticipation.

She kissed down your body, making sure to hit all the sensitive spots that only she knew about, her hands skimming down the curves of your waist towards your legs.

She lifted a leg and rested it on her shoulder as she brought her head between them. She kissed lazily down from the inside of your knee to where you desperately needed her between your thighs, your hips raising on their own accord.

“I’m sorry tonight didn’t go as planned, but I’m going to make it up to you, darling.” The Master used a finger to slide into your wet heat, her tongue quickly following, earning a strangled moan in response. “I promise.”

It was rare for The Master to apologise for anything even for something that was her own fault, so for her to apologise for something out of her control was new territory for the both of you.

You wanted to tell her not to be so silly, not to apologise for something that wasn’t her fault, but whimpers and gasps filled your throat, not allowing any words to be spoken.

You also wanted to hold onto her, your hand tangled in her hair, keeping her where she was and encouraging her to keep going, but with your hands tied to the bed, the best you could do was tug desperately on the fabric restricting them and pray that it will eventually break and set your arms free.

The white hot coil in the pit of your stomach began to wind up tighter and tighter, and you knew that with The Master’s mouth working you so expertly to the edge, it wouldn’t be long at all before you fell apart.

And you were right, crying out at the blinding pleasure, setting a new record for yourself at how fast you had tipped over the edge.

The Master sat up and reached over to untie your hands, slipping the tie from between the bars and allowing your arms to flop down either side of you.

“Can you keep going?”

You nodded breathlessly, your eyes falling closed in an attempt to concentrate on bringing your breathing back to a normal rhythm.

“Keep your eyes closed.” The soft tie was placed over your eyes and tied behind your head after she had encouraged you to lift it up for a moment. “Good girl. Now tell if it gets too much and I’ll stop, alright?”

“Alright.” Your voice came as a whisper, raw and forced.

The sound of sparking hit your ears and your head turned in its direction, unable to make out what it was just by the sound of it.

The Master laughed softly, her arm smoothing over your arm reassuringly after seeing your reaction. “Relax, I just lit a candle.”

You took a deep breath and allowed your body to fall limp into the mattress beneath you, revelling in the feeling of The Master’s slow kisses that she was now placing along your stomach.

“Another deep breath, love.”

You drew in another and as soon as your lungs were filled with air, a sharp searing heat hit your sternum, right where The Master had placed a kiss seconds before.

You released the breath quickly with a whimper, your mouth agape in shock. “What was that?”

“Wax.” The Master spoke nonchalantly. “Want me to stop?”

You thought it over for a moment. Did you want her to stop? This was certainly new and sure you’d spoken about it previously, but you hadn’t been expecting it and no, you decided, you didn’t want her to stop.

This was akin to spanking, pain at first that fizzled into pleasure. The heat of the melted wax that was poured onto your skin lasted mere seconds before cooling into something warm and tingly, setting your nerves on edge and bringing a heightened sense of gratification.

“No, keep going.”

You knew that she was smiling, pleased with your willingness to experiment and the trust you had in her to keep going and not bring you any unnecessary pain.

And keep going she did, dripping hot wax across your body, watching how you reacted to the heat in more sensitive areas compared to the more desensitised parts of your body that saw the light of day more often.

Each time the wax settled onto your skin, it hurt less and less, stinging pleasantly and morphing into a heavenly warmth. The Master kept up the practice of kissing right where she planned to pour, giving you a heads up every time, something you were grateful for.

With your sense of sight taken away from you, your other senses intensified, making each touch, each whisper of encouragement all the more rewarding.

The Master eventually stopped despite your moans and begging for more, supposedly because the candle had burned down and run out of wax, but she continued to show you attention in other ways.

She remained close, her hands roaming your body lovingly, worshipping you with her kisses and her words. She allowed you to rut against her thigh, leaving a wet spot on her skin as she sucked on your neck below your ear, your arms encircled her shoulders and keeping her in place so that you didn’t lose your rhythm against her if she moved.

“So good for me, darling,” her whispered words in your ear felt like a song from an angel, supporting you on your journey to otherworldly bliss. “My good girl.”

After a little while longer and a few more orgasms, you were completely spent, your body aching deliciously, your eyes feeling heavy after a long evening.

The Master held you close as you drifted off to sleep, tracing sloppy figures of eight onto your exposed back and breathing in the subtle scent of lavender from the soap she had washed you with.

Taglist: @queerconfusionthings @another-doctor-who-blog @crazylittlereader2474

#13th doctor #thirteeth doctor #jodie whittaker #doctor who #doctor who imagine #dw imagine #w!master #whittaker!master x reader #whittaker!master

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cosmiclatte28 · 3 years ago

Text

LOST (Hendery)

Net @supermwritersnet for collab Around the World in 31 Days

"So where are we headed today, love?" The man in pink hair speaks to the camera while asking you who is sitting next to him in the waiting room. You look up from your phone and smile at the camera "We're taking the long flight to Oslo, Norway!"

Hendery nods and takes you into his arms. "We'll be having our first trip as an official couple." He grins and you nod, what's special about that come on… both of you had done a lot of trips together since college.

"That's it for now, we'll cut you to the video when we make it to Oslo. Bye!" Hendery waves and closes his camera lense. Oh yes your legal partner here runs a travel video log and inside he will tell his viewers about a trip, starting from which plane offers the best route, what to expect and bring. He also does the itinerary and tells tips and tricks on how to maximize your holiday experience. You and Hendery have been to a lot of road trips and countless memories. He has them all recorded on the camera and that makes your holiday even more cherishable.

“We’re finally here!” Hendery greets the camera back in a thick jacket and you’re holding a warm chocolate drink in your hands.

You just nod at the camera, trying to warm your body from the cold air.

“It’s a long flight but we’re finally here! Our first stop is the hotel.”

You just open your map, trying to find the bus to the hotel but if you give up a taxi ride will be good.

You’re glad you both end up in the right place, not in another part of the city where none of you speak the language.

As the two of you finish checking in and resting in the big room. Well for two nights both of you are staying at the nice hotel because Hendery wants to treat you for your first wedding anniversary.

“Do you actually have a plan for this trip vlog already?” you ask Hendery after changing your clothes to a clean and fresh one while laying down on the big bed.

Hendery nods, taking out his tab and begins to open his document to recheck his plan for the video.

“Are you going to vlog the room? I am sorry I ruined the bed already.” you run your hand over the sheet trying to smoothen it out.

Hendery laughs and picks up his camera “It’s okay, stay there, I’ll take video of the other rooms. Some viewers want me to review a good hotel recommendation and I think this is nice,” Hendery begins exiting the door and you know your queue to be quiet. You see your husband entering the door and talking to the camera while showing some spaces here and there. You just sit on the bed, waving when he shows the viewers you and the bed. You don’t speak a lot in his vlogs, letting him do his hobby while you just enjoy your time here.

He ends the video and then rushes to change his clothes and finally lay down beside you.

“I am also tired. It’s almost dinner time, should we get something?” He offers you a restaurant that locals say is good and you just nod.

After both of you dress up and get ready, two of you take the public transport to reach the restaurant.

“We stop here, and take a 20 minutes walk.” He knows you’re okay with walking but you begin to doubt his maps when the path you two take starts to look dark and wrong.

“I guess we could just go back,” you hold on to his hand tighter, somewhat the air feels colder and you don’t see any more houses or roads here.

“Hmm but the map shows we’re close to the place and that local reviews are high for this place.” He still does what he always does, is stubborn and goes for the goal.

“It’s going to be great content!” he rambles on how he will make the story about how we get lost and then find the best restaurant.

You just sigh, tighten the coat you wore and walk with him through the wilderness path.

“Do you have the signal?” you raise your brow when you notice this is getting out of control.

He smiles “I lost it, but trust my instinct. I see a light there, maybe that’s the place.”

You seriously don’t know how both of you end up lost in the wilderness. You remember the bus stopping next to a bus stop, then both of you walk while talking and like having fun and suddenly there’s no more road and now here you two are.

You are busy watching your steps when Hendery suddenly hug you and scream

“What?!” you are ready to fight any wild animals jumping into sight but Hendery just pushes your head to see a small hut with outdoor seating and there’s some people there.

“Oh we made it.” you sound relieved but Hendery smacked your head

“READ THAT!” he points and you squint your eyes “I can’t read it, it’s in Norwegian.”

Hendery rolls his eyes “Outdoor sitting restaurant with Aurora view!”

Now you scream, because you choose to tag along to this trip also because you want to see the northern lights

“Told you we’re not lost!” Hendery kisses your cheek quickly. You turn red “Alright, we’re not lost, we just took the wrong path i guess.”

Hendery nods “If we use a car, we use that path, but we walked so it’s yeah silly.” he drags your hand to order something from the hut.

You don’t know anything and let Hendery order. He’s good with his broken Norwegian but look you already pick a table and your husband is back with a tray of foods and wine.

“She said the Aurora can be seen at any clear night and tonight is one of those night.” Hendery explains while pouring you a glass of wine.

There as you two make the video content, Hendery sharing his loss experience and you just sip on your wine, warming your body down.

“Made great content huh?” you ask as you lean into his shoulder when you begin to see the magical northern lights in the sky.

Hendery sighs and wraps a hand over your shoulder “I am never lost when I am with you, also you know how we always stick to a goal in life. See, the hard work of getting here is paid!” he kisses the top of your head while gazing at the magnificent green lights in the air.

“I am glad we found this place, the regular spotting place will be filled with tourists I am sure.'' He sounds proud as if he found you a more private place to watch the Aurora (which he did, judging by how only 10 couples are here).

“I love you” you kiss his cheek and Hendery laughs “Suddenly?”

You giggle and he smells the wine from your lips. “Ah, I know why.” He pulls you closer to his side and you lean your head on his shoulder.

“Thanks for finding this place, It’s very beautiful.” you whisper

Hendery just nod “Anything to bring a smile to your face!”

#hendery x y/n #hendery x reader #hendery x you #supermwritersnet #hendery fluff #hendery fanfic #hendery imagines #hendery scenarios #hendery edit #wayv #hendery wayv #wayv fanfic

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writingsbychlo · 4 years ago

Text

put her together again (epilogue)

word count; 3238

summary; mitch finally gets the girl, and she takes her last step into becoming a real member of society again.

notes; I hope y’all loved this series as much as I did, I got the idea randomly one day, and was in love with it straight away, so I hope you all feel the same way.

warnings; none!

“You really think I can do this?”

You were staring up at him, wide eyes and a nervous expression as you clutched a piece of paper between your hands, the same resume that he had spent the entirety of last night curating for you as a surprise after seeing the advert displayed in the window of the library when the two of you had been walking past on your nightly routes. “I have full faith in you.”

“Good, because I have no faith.” You whispered the words, more like they were only meant for yourself, and he didn’t bother to comment on them, but let it slide, rubbing his hands up and down your arms reassuringly. You snorted a laugh, mischief twinkling in your eyes as you looked up at him, a single brow raised, and you waved the paper sheet back at him. “Volunteered at a group home?”

“Not technically a lie.” He was smirking now, pride growing within him as you laughed at his joke.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it a voluntary experience, but I like your cunning.” He only offered you a wink, watching as you read over the rest of his half-lies as he filled your application form with only partially twisted versions of your truths.

“Besides, you can wow them with all your languages and intense book knowledge. They won’t even need to look at the form, and the library will have a pretty new assistant.”

“Yeah. yeah, okay.” You rolled your eyes, but gave him no resistance when he pulled you close enough to press a delicate kiss to your forehead, hands cupping your cheeks, and he lingered there for a second, long enough to get a smell of your shampoo, and feel the warmth from your body washing over him, before he was pulling back.

“Now, go. I’ll wait right over there in the coffee shop, okay?”

You only nodded, a determined look on your face that he thought was absolutely adorable, but Mitch suppressed that thought, a tight smile in response to your own, before you were spinning on your heel and walking into the library that you knew so well, familiar to you from months of visiting to get books, no applying for a job.

It was time, for sure. Time to get out into the world, and to find your place within society. You had been locked up with him for so long, to keep you safe from anybody who would be looking for you, to take you out and make sure the information in your head remained hidden, but now, you wee free. There was no more looming threats, no more enemies lurking around each corner, you could go out when and where you pleased, and you could get a real job, You could have an email account, and a phone number, and a house registered in your own name. You could have membership cards that he didn’t have to set up, and you could make a place in the world that you carved and crafted yourself, without fear of having it all ripped away from you.

You deserved it, after everything you had been through, you deserved to know that you had something happy that was all yours, something you earned without anyone else and without having to do something wrong to get it, something that was all yours to keep, to hang onto.

The shop was busy as Mitch stepped into the establishment, slightly crowded in a way that made his skin prickle, and he joined the queue, hands shoved into his pockets and eyes fixed upon the menus in hopes that nobody except the barista would talk to him, and nobody would bump into him.

He had already spotted a table free, one outside, slightly less populated in the colder temperatures, but you both had coats, and so it was perfect, and he was staring at that spot, mentally warning off anybody who might wish to sit there. He knew your order by heart now, your drink of choice slipping from his tongue easily alongside his own, wallet out to hand over some notes, and then he was taking two hot drinks, and beelining to the back of the little building.

Using his foot to push open the door, he placed the steaming mugs down on the counter, sitting with his back to the windows and wrapping his foot around the leg of the other chair to stop anybody coming along and asking to take it before you got here. He was fiercely protective, and actively tried to convince himself that it was only because he thought you deserved more, that he was looking after you in a protective way, but he was biased, and he knew it, too.

Mitch couldn’t deny it, he knew he was falling in love with you, but you were still trying to discover where you fit into the world, and he didn’t want you to feel obligated to be with him just because he saved you. He knew you loved him, as a friend, it was in every action and every smile, and every time you hung out with him. You had other friends, you had a comparison to work with, and so that was a fact he could trust, but romance and love was an entirely new concept to you, and he’d be damned if he let you fall into a relationship with him if he didn’t know that it was certainly what you wanted too.

The bitter chill of the wind swept over, and Mitch huffed, bringing his coffee closer to himself and tearing open a packet of the complimentary sugar, a wooden stirrer between his teeth as he added ample amounts of creamer and sweetener, until he was satisfied, the dark colour of the coffee raising to a warm golden colour, and yours was still sitting opposite as he took a sip. The whipped cream on top of the hazelnut latte was melting, dripping down the side of the mug, and he knew you liked it that way, so he wasn’t especially worried about it, but he still hoped that you would arrive soon, because he didn’t want you to drink it cold.

He could see the library from here, and could see each time the doors opened and closed, watching as people came and went. Patrons, workers, deliveries, he counted them all off, but then, came you.

Good news. He could already tell, even while you were too far away from him to see your expression, because there was a pep in your step, speedy movements as you got closer and closer, waiting for the cars to pause so that you could cross the road. He could see you clearly now, a wide smile on your face as you made your way over to him. Bright eyes, big smile, excitement flittering over your features.

He straightened up as you finally made it over to him, pressing a brown envelope down onto the table before him and pushing it across with two fingers, hands clasping behind your back as you rolled on the balls of your feet. He took the packet, running his finger under the seal and opening it up, before tipping it upside down and dropping out the contents onto the wired meal tabletop.

A somewhat thick set of forms, a handbook, a keycard and a holder to go around your neck. It was containing a balanced identity card now, waiting for your photograph and name to be printed on, but it said ‘Library Assistant’, and a folded up copy of your new contract, the ink having printed a little from where it had been folded while still wet.

“You got it?”

He stared up, watching as your straightened face cracked open with a blinding beam, a squeal following as your composure fell away. “I got it! As of Monday morning, eight sharp, I work at the local library!”

“Holy shit, I’m so proud of you!” He was on his feet seconds later, arms held out widely for you and your body crashed into his, wrapping yourself up in his embrace as tightly as you could, squeezing him like he was you, and he could feel your laugh from where your face was pressed into his shoulder.

He felt you pulling back, your fingers detangling from where they’d wrapped into the material of his jumper, and he felt his breathing pause as your hand smoothed up his chest to cup his face. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“It was all you, I just filled out an application for you.” He shrugged it off, dropping his smirk down into an earnest smile as his hands found your waist, the heat of your body seeping out from underneath the material. You were staring up at him, thumbs stroking delicately over his cheekbones as your expression went from playful to serious, and he couldn’t help the way he tipped his head into your hand a little more, treasuring your touch. “What are you thinking about?”

“I don’t just mean the library, Mitch, I meant everything.” His brows furrowed, frown taking over, and he knew exactly what you meant, but he still found it hard to watch the way the pain flickered in your eyes as you thought about your past. “I couldn’t do any of this without you. You saved me, you helped me find who I was. I don’t think I can ever repay you for that.”

“Just stay in my life, don’t leave me, and you can consider it a debt repaid.”

He knew how desperate he sounded, but he needed you, and he wasn’t going to let you go without a fight, because he wasn't sure he liked the idea of going back to the world he lived in before meeting you. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

He only nodded, his soft smile falling away as the two of you continued to look at one another, and his eyes widened as you moved again, not anticipating your movements until it was happening. Your lips pressed to his gently, and Mitch let out a whine as everything within him went blank, his mind clearing, before he was holding onto you a little tighter. He was pulling you closer, hands on your hips moving around to rest on your back as he pulled you up close to him, and your own fingers dug a little firmer into his jaw.

Soft lips, the taste of the mint lingering in your mouth spreading to his, and he let out a breathy moan as he felt your heart thud steadily against his chest. He had thought about it for so long, dreamt about how it would feel to hold you like this, and he felt like pure ecstasy was bursting through his veins as he finally experienced it. His head tipped to the side, nose bumping your own as he pushed back into you, sucking slightly on your lower lip and feeling his head spin as you whimpered at the feeling.

It was inexperienced, but you weren’t to blame for that, you’d never really had a chance to have this kind of intimacy with someone, and just like that, reality came crashing back down onto him. The timid and nervous movements you’d been growing into that only a second ago he found endearing, now made him feel wrong, like he’d taken something from you that he shouldn’t have, like he was a criminal, and he pulled back with a jolt, taking a sudden breath.

His eyes snapped open, finding you staring up at him, a little shocked, with kiss bitten lips and flushed cheeks as you panted for breath, and he hated the effect that such a look on your face was having on him, making him want to ravish you, without a care for who might see.

“W-We can't. We can’t do that, we shouldn’t.” He took a step back, a tight smile on his face as he covered up the stabbing in his heart as he watched your face crumple for just a second, before it was going blank once again, and you were dipping your head. When you looked back up, he let out a relieved breath, the usual friendly smile on your face, and you shrugged your shoulders.

“You got me a hazelnut latte?”

“Of course, it’s your favourite.” He grinned, taking his seat once again, and he watched as you gathered the items back up into the brown envelope once again, pressing it shut, before reaching for your mug. You didn’t sit beside him, though, like he’d anticipated, but opposite him, and he frowned. He knew it was stupid, to think such a small action meant anything, but you always sat next to him in public, your leg pressed to his as you sought out physical affection with which to ground yourself and calm down.

“Are you mad at me?”

You let out a little laugh, glancing up at him for a split second, before taking a long gulp of your coffee, the liquid now cool enough to drink like that, before lowering it again. “Of course not! I don’t have anything to be mad about.”

He simply hummed, not believing you, but having no proof. You looked around yourself again, and he didn’t take his eyes off of you, watching as you observed your environment, smile changing in minuscule movements with every expression, before finally, you brought your attention back to the table.

He waited for you to speak, waited for anything, but you were content in the silence. Stretching his leg out under the table, he searched for you, but your body language changed as you folded your legs underneath your chair, subtly, but not enough for him to miss.

“You’re lying, you’re totally mad at me.”

He hated the way his voice cracked as he spoke, but he didn’t like the idea of you being angry with him, of not wanting to be around him, of ignoring him or going home and letting him fade away from your life now that you actually had one to experience. “I already told you, I’m not mad at you!” There was a teasing tilt to your tone, a little laugh to follow it, but he wasn’t accepting that.

“Then why are you acting differently, huh?”

“I haven’t done anything different! I sat down, like, two minutes ago!”

He scoffed, pouting a little now as he looked at you. “You’re not sitting next to me, and you won’t touch me - or even look at me, and you’re not speaking. You always have things to tell me.” You met his gaze now, defiantly, as if to prove a point, and he scowled at the action, before your shoulders seemed to sag. You slumped in your seats scratching your nail over a dried stain of lost whipped cream that had melted along the outside of the mug.

“It’s easier that way.”

“What is?”

You nibbled on your lower lip, frowning to yourself, your eyes flicking up to meet his but barely, before you were staring off into space once again, and speaking in a scarcely audible whisper with your answer; “To not get hurt because you don’t want me back.”

He left his drink, moving into the chair beside you and forcing you to look up at him with two fingers under your chin. “Sweetheart, what are you talking about?”

“I think kissing you made that pretty clear, Mitch.” Your tone was a little bitter, and he almost flinched, but he couldn’t blame anyone but himself for that, swallowing thickly and opening his mouth to reply, but you cut him off; “I thought maybe you felt the same way, but you don’t, and that’s okay. It’s hard, though, to just go back to the things that made me feel that way in the first place, so I don’t.”

“But, you don’t know how you feel. Not really.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” You were mad now, and he cursed at his own lack of competency with his words, but even when you were frustrated at him, you seemed to sense that he was struggling, and you waited patiently for him to work out what to say.

“I just meant that you don’t know anyone else, you don’t know if it’s me that you want! You’ve never experienced these things, you know, deciding you’re into someone more than platonically, deciding you want to be with them, going on dates, getting your heart broken. There’s a whole lot of stuff out there that you don’t even know about, yet!”

There was a softer look in your eyes now, and you shook your head, but it was fondly and not dismissively, and you rested a hand on his cheek once again. He held your hand to his face, shaking his head and twisting enough to press a kiss to your palm, but he was holding onto you now, not wanting you to retract the simple touch. “You think just because I haven't had my heart broken yet, that I don’t know what it’s like when I start to love someone?”

“You’re falling in love with me?” He barely heard himself say the words, and he felt like his eyes were going to fall from his head because they were so wide, but he didn’t miss the bashful smile, or the way you tried to bite back your amusement as he stared at you.

“Yeah, apparently, I feel that way even when you’re saying stupid shit to try and push me away.”

He was grinning himself now, leaning in and until your foreheads were pressing together, and you were sharing a breath in the cold, a weak laugh on his lips. “You’re sure?”

“Pretty sure, have been for a few weeks now, actually..”

“Good, because I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you, too.” He didn’t hesitate this time, closing the gap between your lips, and this kiss was so much better than the first. There was no doubt, no inkling of guilt that made him feel like a villain, there was just passion and love and whispered confessions before your mouths were dragging together as his heart raced and his head span, every inch of his body lighting up like the Fourth of July just at getting to know you in this way.

You were leaning into him too, kissing him back just as eagerly as you began to learn the motions, messy kisses becoming smooth and fluid between partings for gasped breaths before you were diving in again. Your coffees started to go cold on the table as you instead memorised the taste of one another’s mouths, but neither of you cared, because right now, all that mattered was truly conveying how you felt about each other in affections that were long overdue and months in the making.

“Let’s go home. I don’t want to be here anymore.” He nipped your lower lip a little, grinning at the whine you gave him, but he pulled back, brushing a finger under your swollen lip to wipe away the shine he’d left behind. “I’ll cook you dinner, and we’ll watch a movie, and this time when I get to hold you, I can cuddle you like I’ve been wanting to do for so long.”

“Sounds perfect.”

#mitchtober #mitch-tober #mitch month #mitch rapp #mitch rapp x reader #mitch rapp/reader #PHTA #put her together again #mitch rapp American assassin #dylan obrien mitch rapp #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien/reader #dylan obrien american assassin #dylan obrien #dylan o'brien

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woozapooza · 1 year ago

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#in a lot of ways it’s what makes his fondness and care for children so compelling and genuine and not like. manipulative#jesse cares so much about justice and the innocent and even if it comes at a personal cost he puts his money where his mouth is

jesse’s natural instinct to be a caretaker is like. it’s something fundamentally Small, but to me it’s the best part of jesse’s character in how soft and subtle it is while still coloring every relationship he has. the way they integrate this aspect of his personality, this instinctive urge to Take Care of people even when they wrong him and even when he’s enacting violence against himself or others, into his character is one of the quietest things in the whole show while still being hugely influential. we get so much from those moments: from “i was the one who drove aunt ginny to her appointments and made her lunch”, from the mentioned interest in sports medicine, from the way he takes walt’s shoes off as he lays him down on the couch in “fly”, from the automatic grab for medical equipment when he realized the cartel doctors were going to prioritize gus over mike. he wants to take care of people, even if he doesn’t always go about it in a “good” way or loses himself along the way.

#he's so important like he actually might just be the bestest character ever invented #Breaking Bad #Jesse Pinkman #you are the guy #analysis #love all trust a queue do wrong to none

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ayyyez · 4 years ago

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ez could i request headcanons for a first date with tamaki and kiri :) i love u

a/n: absolutely peach my love, thank you for being the first to request some bnha headcanons 💖 I love both of these boys so much 💖 warnings: none

Amajiki Tamaki

Ah this boy panics the instant the date is set. He begins jumping from idea to idea for the location and them falls into his regular pessimistic cycle thinking about how the date is going to bomb before he even makes a plan.

Mirio sets him straight and gives him a confidence boost. After they have a long talk they decide the best way to make him panic less and be as comfortable as possible would be to do something lowkey.

He ends up taking you to the park on a sunny day when there are food stalls around. He gets there waaaaaay too early. Like an hour early. Panics he got the time wrong. Checks his phone 4 times with the confirmation text. Freaks thinking you won’t show but swallows all the down and sits on a park bench (the chosen meeting spot).

His eyes practically light up when he sees you arrive 15 minutes before the time you were supposed to meet. If you smile and wave at him (call his name) he calms a little. This meant you wanted to be on this date with him. Good. No, THANK GOD.

A little jittery at first. Kind of mumbles about going for a walk. He shakes a little when you ask him to repeat because you didn’t catch it. Then he manages to say it louder and out practically beam. His heart skips a beat because that smile is for him. (okay he can do this.)

The two of you walk around the park and he tries so hard to think of something to say. You come to his rescue and start making conversation. “I heard the foodstalls around here a good!” Tamaki manages a shy smile. “Yeah, I wanted to try them...with you.” This boy is a sweetheart okay.

By the time the two of you get to the stalls he has a little more confidence and asks what you want to try first. His eyes are glued on the seafood stall when he goes. You pick up on that and point to it. “I think I want to try that one.” He turns to you a little surprised but then smiles. “Oh, me too.” (you know that).

The two of you continue going from stall to stall and you keep asking him questions. He wants so badly to return the favour but most he can manage is a “what about you?” but you can tell he is interested. Tamaki is really good at observing and listening so he prefers to hear what you have to say then talk about himself.

Tread gently around pushing to hard about himself, start of gently by asking some questions and he will eventually open up on his own. He wants to tell you lots of things but he feels far to vulnerable on the first date - it will come later.

The thing with Tamaki is to even get to this point of a first date the two of you would have to of been friends first with a fair bit of contact. Otherwise he would have had no courage to go on this date. Actually when he went to ask you he couldn’t get it out so you ended up asking him. But you left it to him to pick the place (you knew he wanted to ask you but couldn’t wait any longer).

Once the two of you have eaten your fill he doesn’t know what he should do. Should he end the date there and retreat home? He felt kind of hot being around you so long. He had liked you for a very long time and couldn’t imagine he would ever had gotten this far. he’s in a dream.

It has to be you who suggests continuing the day. He probably follow you anywhere but you can tell he is pushing himself already. You suggest sitting beneath the shade of the tree for awhile.

He sits against the trunk, loosely hugging his legs while you lie on the grass, looking up at the leaves of the tree. He is looking at you, not directly, he doesn’t want to be caught but his gaze lingers by you enough to see your face. Your expressions makes him feel warm and fluttery inside. He loves your face.

You talk familiar things. UA and your friends. The delicious food from the stand. You ask about his quirk. He asks about yours. It’s nice, casual and exactly what Tamaki needs to think this is going well. (it is).

When it comes to part ways you give him the warmest smile “I can’t wait for the next date.” Tamaki felt his heart race. Another date. That was good. You wanted to see him again. Wait had he heard you correct? Was his mind running off with a fantasy.

“I’ll text you tonight, okay?” You insisted and he nodded, his cheeks blushing vibrantly. You were going to message him. You were going to go out with him again. Tamaki walked home in a daze that day and his cheeks didn’t cool down for a looooong time lol.

Kirishima Eijiro

This boy asks you out. And when he does he comes across as super confident, maybe a little bashful but trust me, inside he is a nervous wreck because this is you! The person he likes! He feels unworthy but he can’t sit on these feelings anymore.

When you agree he is the happiest he has been. You like him back? Amazing! Starts planning the date immediately while constantly texting you ideas. Bare with him, he’s excited okay. You gotta make him chill though or he will NEVER decide.

The ultimate decider is you messaging “Hey, let’s do this one first and then we have plenty more dates after to do the rest.” You don’t see it but he blushes hard with the BIGGEST smile when he reads it. Queue smashing his face into the pillow he is lying on. He likes you a lot okay.

You ended up settling on bbq and arcade date. (he loves his meat okay and honestly seeing his eyes shine over it is a reward in itself). Surprisingly though he doesn’t eat as much as usual. He’s still enthusiastic about it but the boy is nervous! Smile the whole time but also chock full of adrenaline and a little jittery. Wants to go go go!

He talks a lot. Like a lot a lot. He can’t seem to stop. Sometimes you don’t even get an answer but god he is just so cute when he is nervous lol. He’s this giant ball of energy. When he stops to shovel food in your mouth it’s you chance to get a word in.

Now don’t get me wrong, he would never talk over the top of you (and he doesn’t) but when it’s his turn to talk he can’t seem to stop. The two of you make it through lunch and when he shoots up to leave you can’t help but chuckle. Nothings more complimentary that he’s excited right? Excited to be with you.

On the way to the arcade though you have to do something. You have to make him chill a little or he is going to explode. Grabbing him by the hand you stop him by the entrance. He looks down at your hand in his and he blushes a little. He chuckles nervously too but before he can ramble again you say his name, stopping him.

“Hey,” you say softly and with a smile, “I’m nervous too so let’s take our time okay? Don’t run off on me.” Kirishima’s heart = exploded. Heart eyes to the max right here.

He takes a deep breath in and out. “Right!” He smiles and opens the door to the arcade. “Nice and easy.” He mumbles to himself.

He chills a little more after that. He’s more like himself and letting the conversation flow naturally instead of constantly stimulating it along. Now you get to tease him whenever you win a game. He doesn’t really care about winning but he lives for the banter, especially when you kick his ass in the shooter games. Higher accuracy for the win. Just poke your tongue at him or wink and he’ll melt.

There two of you are there for hours. Time goes so quickly. It’s dark before the two of you know it. “Damn.” You hear Kirishima say as he notices. “Let’s cash in our tickets.” You suggest. “I’ll use mine to pick out something for you and you do the same for me.”

The two of you search the small shop, realising despite having lots of tickets it doesn’t buy much. You settle on a small, red punching glove that fits on one finger. He settles on a little key chain of you favourite anime character (omg he remembered you mentioning it?) a very cute boy indeed.

The two of you bid farewell. “Do I get a chance at a second date?” He asks. You smile and leave him hanging for a moment. “We have to see all those places sometime don’t we?” Okay he can get used to this.

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etoileholland · 4 years ago

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wrapped in red | chapter 2; a wonderful Christmastime

word count; 3k

warnings; none

a/n; ah the Christmas dinner scene :) this chapter takes place immediately after where the first one ended, which was right when you met Tom, which is still two years ago (if you read the first chapter you’d know what I mean) anyway here it is!

When the Uber pulled up to Tom’s family home, you noticed how modest it seemed, even though you knew he was famous. You didn’t dare point out that you knew he was a somebody, the poor kid was already stressed out enough, and he should have one day where he doesn’t feel obligated to be “Tom Holland”

He got out of the car first, before jogging over to your side to open the car door for you. He wished the Uber driver a happy Christmas, and then closed the car door.

“Tom,” you turned around to face him, “are you sure your family won’t mind me being here?”

“Trust me, they can’t stand the idea of someone spending Christmas alone.” When you scoffed lightly, he continued talking. “No, seriously. One year, my mum had to make a last minute Tesco run for some cranberry sauce, and when she was waiting in the queue to check out, she started talking to an older woman who told my mum she was spending the holiday alone. When my mum heard that, she invited the woman over for Christmas dinner right on the spot.”

Tom held out his hand, and led you closer to the front door.

“Okay, but that’s seriously dangerous. What if she was a killer?”

“I’m starting to think everyone to you is a murderer until proven otherwise. I think you’ve been watching too much true crime.” He joked. “But if it makes you feel any better, my dad said the same thing.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at his first comment. “He has a point.”

“True.” Tom clicked his tongue, “but then on New Years, as a gift to us, the woman gave us our dog Tessa. So it worked out well in the end I suppose.”

“That was nice of her.” You responded as you watched Tom walk up the small steps in front of the door.

“You ready?” He asked you, and even though you were beyond nervous, you gave him a thumbs up.

You stood next to Tom as he knocked on the door. He shifted his weight from his left leg to his right leg, and when nobody answered the door right away, he raised his hand to knock again. Just before he was about to, the door swung wide open.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” A woman, whom you presumed to be Tom’s mother exclaimed. She quickly embraced him, squeezing his torso lovingly. As you watched the display of familial love, you felt a pang of sadness inside you. It quickly dispersed when the woman looked over at you.

“And who is this beautiful angel with you, love?” She asked politely. “I didn’t know you were bringing a guest, actually I didn’t even know you were flying in.” She stretched out her hand for you to shake. “I’m Nikki, Tom’s mum.”

“Y/N.” You answered back, gently shaking her hand.

“Well come in love.” She stood back and ushered the both of you into the house.

Upon entering the house, the first thing you noticed was how warm and inviting it was inside. From the entryway of the house, you could see into the living room. The fireplace was lit, setting a lovely ambiance to the room, and the Christmas tree in the corner of the room was beautifully decorated. Some jazzy Christmas music was playing from another room, it sounded like Bing Crosby, but nevertheless filled the air with cheer.

Nikki looked at you fondly for a second, and then beamed a smile back at her son. “So, how did you two meet?” She inquired.

“Well, it was serendipitous.” Tom lightly bumped his shoulder with yours, getting a small smile from you. “I bought some presents last minute in Spain while my flight was laid over, and when I finished, I got a text saying that my flight was going to board soon. So I quickly left the mall and made my way back to the airport in the nick of time. But then as I arrived here, I realised the gifts weren’t wrapped, so I looked up gift wrapping places and that’s how I met Y/N.”

You listened as they spoke, and followed them into the dining room. There was someone setting the table, from the looks of it, he also looked around your age.

“That’s so adorable, it’s almost like out of a Hallmark movie.” Nikki commented while she adjusted one of the table settings.

“And then, as I was talking to Y/N, she told me she was going to spend the holiday alone-”

“Oh dear.” Nikki exclaimed as she placed her hand over her heart, nearly dropping the fork off the table she was straightening in the process.

“So I invited her over to dinner.” Tom finished, glancing back over at you.

“I am so happy you invited her,” She looked at her son, “and I’m happy you made it.” She glanced at you, smiling once more. Before anything else could be said, a dog came running up to you and Tom eagerly.

“Tessa, love!” Tom exclaimed, kneeling down to hug her, while also petting her. “Y/N, this is Tessa.”

“She’s adorable.” You commented as Tessa licked the snow off your boots, while she wagged her tail eagerly.

“Tom, son, is that you?” A man who donned an apron popped his head out of the kitchen. When he saw his son, his face lit up.

“Yes dad, it’s me.” Tom stated as he went to hug his father. A few more people emerged from the kitchen, plus a pair of boys who looked similar to each other.

Must be his twin brothers, you thought.

“Love, let me introduce you to everyone.” Nikki placed her hand on your shoulder softly. She proceeded to introduce you to Tom’s father, and his little brothers. As she pointed out who was who, it was nice to put a name to a face.

“And that’s Paddy, our youngest.” She gestured to the young boy with many freckles, the same curly hair as his eldest brother.

“You’re very pretty.” Paddy commented, his cheeks turning red. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Thank you, you too.” You smiled.

One of Tom’s little brother, whom you learned was named Sam, popped back into the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready in 10.” He hollered from the room.

“Make yourself comfortable in the living room, love.” Nikki tugged lightly on the sleeve of your jacket, and when you realised she wanted you to take it off, you nodded. Shimmying it off, you gently handed it to her.

You made your way into the living room, which smelled like sugar cookies. They had a beautiful house, no doubt about that, but something about it felt so homey. Yet, it made you remember how cold and clinical your childhood home felt, a thought that you kept trying to suppress.

Out of the corner of your eye, a red bauble on the Christmas tree glistened in the light. You lightly shuffled over to the corner of the room to look at the decoration. On it, was Tom’s name in glittery paint, and the year 2001 painted on it. It looked like one that you made in primary school, the kind that parents loved to receive. Sadly, the same couldn’t be said about your parents, since anytime you brought some artwork home that you lovingly made in school, it was always discarded in the trash.

While you were in the living room, Tom was met with many questions regarding you as he helped Sam in the kitchen.

“She’s pretty.” Sam commented while concentrating on perfecting the Christmas pudding for dessert.

“Yeah, she is.” Tom added, leaning back against the countertop.

“There’s something about her that I really like.” Sam remarked.

“Like what?”

“She seems nice, and down to earth. I think she would be good for you.” Sam spun around to look at Tom.

“True, but I don’t know much about her. She could be in a relationship with someone else for all I know.” Tom crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“If she was in a relationship with someone else, she sure as hell wouldn’t be here.” He wiped his hands on a tea towel. “I know you like her too.”

The corner of Tom’s lip turned up into a small smile. “I do, you’re right. I just don’t want to get my hopes up already.”

Sam knew his brother enough to know that his heart has been broken many a time, and it made sense that he was hesitant to like someone new. However, Sam was blessed with great intuition about people, and so for him to say that he liked you already meant a lot. He walked over to his brother and placed his hand on his shoulder. “She seems really nice, so far mum likes her, and so does Tessa, and you know she’s picky about people. Well, they both are.” He patted his brother's shoulder, taking a step towards the door.

“Dinner’s ready.” Sam stated to his family, and went into the living room. He saw you admiring the Christmas tree, a small tear landing down your cheek. He watched as you wipe it away, and then turned to face him before he said anything.

“Sorry,” you sniffled, “I’m fine.” You answered half convincingly.

“Dinner’s ready.” He said softly, leaving the room. You followed him into the dining room, where everyone else was already sitting. There was a seat open next to Tom, and his mum.

After a prayer, the food was being dished up. There was a roasted turkey, some vegetables, cranberry sauce, roasted potatoes, and of course the Christmas pudding, all of which looked delectable.

As you ate into the turkey, you now knew why Tom loved Sam’s cooking, it was superb.

“Sam, you’re an excellent chef.” You mentioned once you finished chewing.

“Why thank you, Y/N.” He nodded his head to you, and continued to eat.

“So, love, not to sound intrusive-”

“You already do.” Tom muttered under his breath.

“Why were you going to spend Christmas alone?” She asked concernedly.

Everyone looked up from their plates to you, eyes wide in curiosity. You gulped before answering. Even though Tom’s family was more than gracious for having you over for dinner, you still didn’t know them enough to tell them your whole life’s story. And, considering how depressing the truth was, you didn’t want them to think differently of you. So, you decided to tell them a half truth.

“Well,” you gulped, “my parents are out of town.” It wasn’t entirely wrong, but it sure as hell wasn’t entirely right.

“I’m sorry, what for?”

“Mum.” Tom interjected. You looked over at him, noticing that his jaw was a bit clenched.

“Sorry, darling.” She said to you, “it’s just a shame that they would leave you alone on Christmas.”

“Tell me about it.” You muttered under your breath, mindlessly poking at the food on your plate.

The rest of the dinner went along well; it was mostly questions about yourself, the usual ones such as “what are you studying?” and “what’s your favourite artist?” you know, the usual questions. When his family wasn’t asking about you, they were asking Tom questions about how filming went, and how Spain was.

Right before dessert was served, the Christmas crackers were popped. Once people started to read the jokes, you laughed at how bad most of them were.

“I’m not even going to read this one aloud,” Dom commented, “It’s bloody rubbish.”

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad darling.” Nikki replied as she peered over his shoulder to read it. “You weren’t kidding, it’s not even funny.”

“Told you.” Dom dramatically tossed the joke behind him. “Someone hand me a piece of paper and a pen, stat!”

Once dinner was finally over, and much funnier jokes were written for the crackers, the family made their way into the living room to open their presents. They have a tradition to open the gifts after Christmas dinner, so even though Tom missed most of the day, he made it home in perfect timing to open his gifts.

“Love, I’m sorry that we’re going to open our gifts in front of you.” Dom said with a frown. He looked over at his wife, his eyebrow raising slightly.

“We should probably open our gifts tomorrow, yeah?” Nikki asked the boys collectively, “It’s impolite to open them in front of guests.”

“Oh, no. Don’t worry about that at all.” you reassured his family. “You should open them.”

They all looked at you once more to judge your facial expression, but when you gave them a smile, they began to distribute the gifts.

Gifts were exchanged, to each other, and even though you weren’t part of the family, you felt as though you were.

You saw Harry’s eyes well up with tears when he opened up the camera that Tom bought him, and him immediately snapping pics of everyone and everything.

Tessa loved her little sweater, and Dom and Nikki loved their matching sweaters.

As you sat there on the sofa, hot cocoa mug in hand, you broke out into a smile the whole time, so much in fact that your face hurt from smiling.

So this is what a loving family is like, you thought to yourself.

Shortly soon after, Paddy began to grow tired. He was rubbing his eyes, a yawn escaping his lips every other minute.

“Love, let’s go to sleep.” Nikki helped Paddy stand up. He leaned against her, he was about ready to fall asleep standing up.

“Goodnight Y/N, happy Christmas.” Paddy yawned once more.

“Goodnight little one.”

You watched the young boy and his mum walk towards his room. Looking up at the wall clock that hung near the mantle, it was nearly 10pm. You could’ve swore that the clock was wrong, clearly you haven’t been there for four hours, but once you checked your phone you realised it was indeed 10pm. You were having so much fun that the time got away from you, which wasn’t something you were complaining about. However, you didn’t want to overstay your welcome, so you were about to call an Uber for yourself when Tom offered to drive you home.

Everyone told you goodbye and wished you a happy Christmas, Tom’s mum even kissing you on the cheek.

“Happy Christmas love, thank you for having dinner with us.” She placed a hand on your shoulder and leaned in to whisper, “I hope you come spend more time with us soon.”

“I will.” You whispered back, smiling to her. She handed you your coat, helping you put it on even, and watched you and Tom leave to take you back home.

The ride home back to your apartment was quiet, but a comfortable silence. Tom, intently paying attention to the icy road ahead, would often sneak little glances over at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. About 15 minutes later, he had pulled up right in front of your apartment complex. You lived right around the corner from the gift wrapping shop, so you weren’t kidding when you said you literally lived down the way.

“You live in a nice home.” He commented as he opened the car door for you. It was a home on N Audley Street, in Mayfair, which is one of the more expensive places in London to live. Very posh, he thought to himself.

“Thank you.” you kicked a small mound of snow over that had accumulated on the ground by the front step of your porch. “But I’m actually in the process of moving out to a uni apartment. It’s kind of a shame, really. This apartment is worth a small fortune, and I almost feel bad for wanting to sell it, but it’s not the same apartment as I remember, if that makes any sense.”

“No, no. it makes complete sense. Sometimes there’s a lot of memories attached to a particular place.”

You hummed in agreement to what he had just said, glancing over at him once more before making your way to the front steps.

“So, where are you going to Uni at?” Tom asked curiously, doing so as he brushed a bit of snow off his coat.

Without missing a beat, you answered, “Oxford.”

“Wow,” he breathed out, “that is kinda far. I can see why you’re selling the place now.” Tom followed you up the stairs and stood beside you on the stoop. A voice in his head told him to at least give you a kiss on the cheek, but he decided against it as he didn’t want to potentially ruin his chances later on down the road.

It wasn’t until you took a step closer to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek that he began to blush profusely.

“Whoa-”

As if you knew what he was going to say, you pointed up towards the top of the door where a piece of mistletoe hung. “That’s why I did that.”

“Oh.” He answered almost disappointingly, “makes sense.”

Trying to hide the fact that you were flustered after kissing Tom on the cheek, you unlocked your front door and opened it slightly ajar. You placed a hand on the doorknob, and the other on the door itself. “Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome.” He replied, still beaming from the kiss. He took a step back and headed down the steps towards his car.

You turned around to look at him, noticing how handsome he looked from behind. “Happy Christmas Tom.” You called out to him.

“Happy Christmas to you too.” He smiled, waving as he got into his car. You watched him as he drove off, waiting until he was around the block to go into your own home.

The apartment was dark and nearly empty, with a few boxes piled up near the door. Any other time this would have made you feel depressed, but not tonight. You were still glowing from the wonderful Christmas you spent with Tom and his family. As you made your way inside to get ready for bed, the memories were replayed in your mind. And for the first time in a long time, you could finally understand why Christmas was as adored and cherished as it was.

the third chapter comes out next week! please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in it ❤

#tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x female reader #tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland and y/n #tom holland and reader #tom holland and you #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland series #tom holland christmas #mine

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