#louis comte de vermandois

[starrybeedraws]

Louis, count of Vermandois

Hello History nerds, or not! I’d like to bring to your attention that today, November 18th, is the day the Louis (Count of Vermandois) the “disgraced” son of Louis XIV, passed away at age 16. His story is quite tragic, as it is said he was seduced by his uncle’s (Philippe d’Orleans) male lover, the Chevalier de Lorraine, and taken to a homosexual gathering. (I’m not judging, he probably had a lot of fun but big king louis didn’t really like that). So, as said in the parentheses, he was “exiled” by Louis XIV. He continued to fight in battles to win back his father’s love, to no avail 😔. But yeah! Let’s wish him a lovely day in the afterlife!

[starrybeedraws]

hey!! His death date is November 18th, and he died unfortunately young at the age of 16. Lets mark our calendars and give this guy some love :3

Louis, count of Vermandois by Pierre Mignard. 1680. Oil on panel.

[best-bourbon-monarch]

Marie-Anne:

First one in the long tradition of Louis XIV to marry his legitimated kids off to minor branches of the royal family to disgrace them and prevent them from rising against him again. She's the heroine of a pair or more of child books.

Louis:

Legitimated son of Louis XIV and the duchess of La Vallière, he dies pretty young, but also he is one of the people suspected of being the Iron Mask (le masque de fer).

[sporadiceagleheart]

Louis XIV, Vienna H. Dill, Louis XVII, Lois Janes, Sharon Lee Gallegos, Princess Sophie Hélène Béatrice of France, Louis Joseph, Dauphin of France, Louis XIII, Anne of Austria, Maria Theresa of Spain, Françoise d'Aubigné, Philippe I Duke of Orléans, Louis “Le Grand Dauphin” de France, Marie Anne de Bourbon, Marie Thérèse de France, Louis de Bourbon, Comte de Vermandois, Louise de La Vallière, Philippe Charles de France, Louis Auguste de Bourbon, Louis Cesar De Bourbon, Louise Françoise de Bourbon, Louise-Marie Anne “Tou Tou” de Bourbon, Françoise Marie de Bourbon, Louis Alexandre de Bourbon, Madame de Montespan, Philippe d'Orléans II, Alice Elizabeth Doherty, Infant Male Lent, Julia Pastrana, Josephine Myrtle Corbin, Ella 'the Camel Girl' Harper, Fanny Mills, Josephine Clofullia, Annie Kerr Aiken, Gracie Perry Watson, Inez Clarke Briggs, Annie Oakley, Zip the Pinhead, Mary Ann Bevan Nurse, Stephan Bibrowski, Guy Pierre de Fontgalland, Myra Maybelle Shirley Reed Starr, Sitting Bull Leader, Gail Davis, Clara Barton American nurse, Frank E. Butler, Wilma Jones Rat, Pal, Laika, Jimmy the Crow, Pocahontas, Powhatan, John Noyce Milner, John Rolfe, Elizabeth Rolfe Milner, Cleopatra Powhatan, Chief Opechancanough Mangopeesomon “Eagle Plume” Powhatan, Chief Weroance Nectowance Powhatan, Zeus, Olivia Twenty Dahl, Roald Dahl, Sofie Magdalene Dahl, Mary Magdalene, Mona Lisa, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Harald Dahl, Francis II Of France, Henri III of France, Terry, Matachanna Shawano “Cleopatra” Powhatan Cornstalk, Mary Elizabeth Hughes Davis, Annie Jones Elliot, Jenny Lind, Mercy Lavinia Warren Stratton, Minnie Warren, no matter what you look like or how you feel Jesus will help you Jesus will make a way for you like God Jesus healed those even animals now they are in heaven with Wings and Halo they are called Angels right now and I made this tribute edit about what Jesus and his family can do they can make children that passed away from cancer covid flu Beating torture murder shooting Stabbing Wounds and pain they healed it all they healed those children they made them in heaven Angels in heaven they can rest easy they can do the things they couldn't do down here on earth

[leroibourbon-blog]

Louis, comte de Vermandois, son of King Louis XIV and Madame Louise de la Valliere . After his mother Louise de la Valliere left to convent, he lived with his uncle Philippe d’Orleans and the Princess Palatine Elizabeth Charlotte, Prince Philippe d’Orleans’ second wife, even if the Palatine disliked Louis’ children with his mistresses. The Palatine soon got affectionate to her husband’s nephew. . He got involved in an affair with the Chevalier de Lorraine and got exiled.  He joined a secret group of young aristocrats who practiced the Italian Vice When Louis XIV found out he exiled him, the Chevalier and other noblemen members of this secret group.  In the year 1682 young Louis was exiled to Normandy. The Palatine wanted to smooth the relationship between the King and his son so she suggested that he would be sent as a soldier to Flanders. Louis XIV agreed and sent his son to the Siege of Courtray. There, the boy got ill. Despite his illness, Louis was desperate to regain his father’s affections and continued to fight in battle. He died in the year 1683 in Flanders, 16 years old as alcoholic . His sister Marie Anne Princess of Conti and his aunt Princess Palatine were deeply impacted by his death.  Louis did not shed a tear. Louise de la Valliere said  I ought to weep for his birth far more than his death.

[graphicabyss]

XVII-XVIII Century Royal Queer History

Unexpectedly to myself, I got really engaged in history of Europe of XVI-XVII centuries. I never really had much interest in kings and queens and didn't know much about them but once I began to read and learn about their personal lives, I got kinda hooked. Also, I was struck by how many of them were queer and I began to write down my findings, which inevitably turned into a freaking study. I thought I might as well post it.

I'm gonna start with King James I of England who ruled in XVII century. Now there are several tumblr posts about this queer legend. Some historians think he was weak and unremarkable but he survived several assassination attempts, kept his power over 3 countries and lived to old age, which is pretty remarkable on its own. He also kept all the religious leaders at bay and commissioned the world's most famous Bible, which is still owned by most Christians 400 years later. He was also the one who created the modern wedding ritual. You know, church, vows, rings, that stuff. He avoided wars and was a patron of the arts, even wrote some books, including one about demons, werewolves and vampires. What a nerd. He was very different from Elizabeth who preceded him, so one contemporary epigram stated "Elizabeth was King, now James is Queen". Oh, also he was very gay. Or, at least, as gay as a king can get. His relationships with his male courtiers were notorious. He had several favourites who had way too much influence over him and his court really hated it.

He needs to have a movie made about him, seriously. I found only one semi-documentary film and it was The King James Bible: The Book That Changed The World (2011). While I liked the film and King James was hot, sassy and very cool, it was disappointing he was shown as perfectly straight. They could just avoid his personal life altogether, but instead they chose to show him being a perfect husband. While it is true that he was nice to his bride, by the time he met her he had a 10-year old relationship with a man 24 years his senior (since he was 14). I'm just gonna use this screenshot from the movie instead of a painting because it's too good.

Perhaps the most notorious of his alleged lovers was George Villiers, 1st Duke of Buckingham. Starting out as a son of a minor gentleman, the 21-year old lad caught the eye of King James I and quickly became his favourite teasing him by dancing in intricate performances called masques. He made a brilliant career becoming a knight, an earl, a Marquess, and finally a duke - a title normally being reserved for members of the royal family - within just 9 years. Can you blame him though? I mean, look at that stud.

Btw, James’ pet name for Buckingham was ‘Steenie’, derived from St. Stephen who reportedly had the face of an angel.

The name Buckingham seemed oddly familiar to me but it took some time before I realized he was one of the characters in Dumas's "The Three Musketeers". Now I am someone who grew up on old pure Three Musketeers movies so when I started learning about the real historical figures involved in it it gave me a slight shock as the truth is way more weird and sinister that fiction.

The storyline I remember the most was the one where Anne of Austria, the queen of France, got in trouble with her husband Louis XIII because of her affair with Duke of Buckingham. Of course, Duke of Buckingham was never the Queen's lover, he was the King's. What's more, some historians assume Louis XIII was also queer. There is no evidence that Louis kept mistresses, but he had very intimate relationships with his favourites. He has even been described as “repelled by female contact”. There's also the issue of him struggling to have an heir. His wife had 4 pregnancies that were unsuccessful but that seemed like too few for a king who needed to secure his dynasty. After 23 years of trying, the king and queen were finally able to produce a son and another soon followed, the older son to become Louis XIV, and the younger, Philippe, to be known as Duke of Orleans.

Anne was quite the character for a dramatic story too. After Louis's death she became the Regent and made sure to clear the way for her son Louis. To ensure that Louis's younger brother will not try to usurp the power from him as it was with Louis XIII 's brother, Anne of Austria conducted an early and very wicked gender development experiment. She and her adviser, Cardinal Mazarin, set up a plan to raise the two boys very differently. Queen Anne called Philippe by such nicknames as "my little girl" and encouraged him to dress in feminine clothing, which he sometimes did even as an adult.

I'm just gonna use this quote because this shit is real: The queen and Mazarin discouraged the duc d'Anjou [Philippe] from traditional manly pursuits such as arms and politics, and encouraged him to wear dresses, makeup, and to enjoy feminine behaviour. His inclination toward homosexuality was not discouraged, with the hope of reducing any threat he may have posed to his older brother. Reportedly, Cardinal Mazarin even commanded his nephew, Philippe, to de-flower the king's younger brother.

Well, fuck. The joke's on them though, as Philippe grew up to be a fashion icon AND a fierce warrior. He participated in many battles and was immensely praised for his bravery and valour. In 1677, he led the French forces at the Battle of Cassel against William III of Orange of the Netherlands. Yes, that guy who later gently invaded England and took the throne. By the way, there are some allegations that he was also gay. Anyway, Philippe was so badass in battle that people glorified him as a hero and it made his stallion of a brother so jealous he sent him back and never allowed him on the battlefield again. Louis XIV continued his mother's effort in encouraging his brother's effeminate behaviour and putting up with his homosexual relationships, all the while waging a war of homosexuality in France. I mean, gotta preserve the traditional values, such as fucking 12 mistresses who were often married. There were even rumours Louis fucked Philippe's wife. I guess he was trying to make up for his father, brother, son, and uncle, César de Vendôme. Meanwhile, Philippe gave no fucks. He had a number of favourites and didn't even try to hide his sexuality. In fact, it is said that every time Louis pissed him off, Philippe did something extra gay and in his face. Fierce.

One guy I have to mention is Armand, the Comte de Guiche, who was said to be handsome, vain, and manipulative. Armand was Philippe’s lover, but he is widely thought to have been his wife Henrietta’s lover as well. That apparently wasn’t enough for the guy, because in 1665 he also tried to romance Louise de La Valliere, who was Louis’ chief mistress at the time. Louis exiled him in 1662 for plotting with Henrietta to break up Louis and Louise. What a glorious fucker.

But the love of Philippe's life was Chevalier de Lorraine who was basically a prince of a realm outside France. He's usually called 'Chevallier' but his name was also Philippe. He also had an older brother named Louis. Seriously, couldn't they try a little harder with the names? Anyway, when they met Philippe was 18 and Chevalier 15 and sparks flew. He was described as being “as beautiful as an angel” and was more than ready to use what his mama gave him. He was smart and very manipulative and Philippe showered him with gifts all his life, much to the chagrin of his two wives whose money and estates he often gave away.

He moved to Palais-Royal, the same palace as Philippe and his wife Henriette. Very convenient. Philippe's marriage got kinda crowded. Chevalier got so arrogant, he actually told Philippe's wife she needs his permission to sleep with him and that he could get him to divorce her. She complained to the king and he got Chevalier imprisoned and exiled. However, not for long as Philippe pleaded the king to pardon him and eventually succeeded. Henriette did not get much relief apparently as she wrote: “I see from the ashes of Monsieur’s love for the Chevalier, as from the dragon’s teeth, a whole brood of fresh favourites are likely to spring up to vex me.” Of course, Chevalier also managed to enrich himself immensely by getting Philippe and the king to give him and his family tons of perks, such as make him the titular Abbot of four abbeys, which payed handsomely.

Henriette died very suddenly claiming she was poisoned. The doctors found no evidence of that, but there were still rumours that Chevalier was to blame. Philippe had to find another wife, even if he wasn't happy about it. Chevalier stuck around. He was exiled a second time after he apparently seduced the king's son (more on that later) but was able to return again. Their relationship lasted for 40 years, until Philippe's death.

There was a recent TV show called Versailles that depicts Louis XIV’s reign and it has a fairly accurate though romanticized portrayal of Philippe and Chevalier's relationship. Too bad the show is way too violent for me to watch. They look stunning in it~

Anyway, such relationships were far from rare. In fact, apparently there were the so-called confréries (“fraternities”), which were basically gay brotherhoods whose members hung out together and set up orgies. One elite brotherhood was founded between 1680 and 1682. Apart from Chevalier, it included the king Louis XIV's cousin Prince of Conti who was once proclaimed the King of Poland, and Louis's illegitimate son, the comte de Vermandois. The latter was 15 in 1682 when at the court of his uncle Philippe, he met the Chevalier de Lorraine and his sect and apparently got very personally acquainted with Chevalier's younger brother and nephew. When the king learned about it, the group was forcibly dissolved and Vermandois was beaten before the king, exiled from court, and forced into marriage. Another such group was within the highest ranks of nobility at the court of Philippe II, Duke of Orléans, the son of Philippe and the regent at the time when Louis XV was young. They really didn't bother with names, huh? Anyway, they got involved in a number of scandals, in one of which that happened in 1722 a group of 17 noble men gathered in the palace gardens to fuck. The Regent didn't seem very bothered and even seemed to find it amusing.

The Regent, who did not stop smiling, was satisfied that it was necessary to give the nobles a harsh reprimand and tell them that they do not have the best taste [goût] in the world.

Dad would be proud.

There were also some (presumably) queer queens, like Queen Anne of England. Now you might have seen the movie The Favourite but it's heavily satirized and Anne wasn't really childlike and helpless. Actually, this image was created by Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, after she was expelled by Anne, and stuck. However, the rivalry between the old and new favourites was very real.

Anne met Sarah when she was just 8. Sarah was beautiful, charming and very persuasive. When Anne became the queen, she made Sarah Churchill her Mistress of the Robes (the highest office in the royal court that could be held by a woman) and gave her a bunch of other really cool titles. She also made her husband, John Churchill, a duke. Thus Sarah became the most powerful person in England after the queen and the queen always listened to her advice. However, as years went by, Sarah became increasingly pushy and insensitive, using the queen to get what she wanted.

Sarah looking fab~

Then comes Abigail Masham, Sarah's impoverished cousin. Abigail was soft, caring and considerate, exactly what the queen needed. Sarah tried to get rid of her but it only angered the queen further and she eventually dismissed Sarah and her husband and banished them with disgrace while Abigale took her place. Sarah then wrote scandalous memoirs, painting the queen as weak and instable, as well as implying that her relationship with Abigail was lesbian. In mid-1708, she helped to circulate a ballad with such lyrics as: “Her secretary she was not / Because she could not write / But had the conduct and the care / Of some dark deeds at night.”

While there is no direct evidence that she and Anne had sexual relationship, there are many letters between the women that are very romantic and intimate. Sarah even used them to blackmail the queen. And you can kinda see why. “Tis impossible for you ever to believe how much I love you except you saw my heart,” the princess wrote in one letter, as quoted in Anne Somerset’s biography of Anne. “If I writ whole volumes I could never express how well I love you,” read another.

Also, like, evidence was hardly even a thing with queer relationships, since the only solid evidence of regular affairs were illegitimate children.

Finally, I really want to talk about Frederick II, the king of Prussia. Buckle up because this is gonna be long.

Until the age of 7 Frederick was growing up with his lit mother and sister. Here they are, looking gorge. I think he's in blue but tbh I'm not 100% sure.

Anyway, as he got older he was taken to his father and that's when things got shitty. His father, Frederick William I, was the model image of toxic masculinity. He was all about power and military and expected his son to be the same. And since the boy was a lot more into music, poetry, and French stuff, his father often beat and humiliated him. He didn't allow him to learn French and Latin because, like, that's so gay. Now he was a real man. With a weird kink for tall guys. He is known for creating the Potsdam Giants, a regiment of very tall men that he didn't use for battle, just dressing them up and making them march. Ultimate straightness. It is probably redundant to say but his father also hated 'sodomy' and it was punishable by death, a law Frederick would repeal.

And the thing is, Frederick wasn't even supposed to become a king. He was the third son. It wasn't even disease. The first son died because a volley was fired close to his crib (because that’s the only way to wake up a real man - canon) and the second died at baptism because the royal crown crushed his skull. And you thought your parents were bad. Poor Frederick didn't even want to be a king, he just wanted to play the flute and do his thing. In a different age he'd be writing musicals on Broadway or something.

Anyway, there are few doubts among historians the man was gay. There's this BBC documentary that downplays it but it keeps saying he grew up in an environment where he was "leading a double life" and that he once wrote to a close friend that he felt he was a mirror that dared not be what nature made it, forced to oblige what was around it. Please.

Frederick's first presumed relationship was at 16, with Keith, the king's 17-year-old page. Unsurprisingly, Keith was soon sent to a far-off frontier. Right after that, however, Frederick got real close with an officer Hans Hermann von Katte. The dude was very woke and they both loved music and poetry but shit got very real very soon. In 1730, Katte and Frederick decided to flee to Britain to escape their despotic fathers. Sadly, they got caught and tried for treason. Although the prince was pardoned, Katte was sentenced to life imprisonment, which his sick dad changed to execution and then forced Frederick to watch it. At execution Katte and Fred shouted to each other endearments in French and before it happened, Frederick fainted. That shit really fucked him up and he got depressed but he toughened up and accepted his fate.

Aged about 20, Frederick was expected to marry. After a few failed attempts, an Austrian bride was selected, Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Bevern. Frederick was clearly unexcited and apparently even threatened suicide. As soon as he had secured throne, he sent her away and only met with her out of necessity. They had no children. And some historians are like, "well, they just didn't get along". Well, his folks hated each other but it didn't stop them from having 14 children.

Anyway, his father finally got off his back and as a crown prince, he mostly spent his time reading, composing, watching plays and writing woke political essays. Then his dad died so playtime was over.

Now that sounds like a story of a "weak" king. A man who loved to read books and play his flute. But it's not how it was. As Fred became king, he inherited a very militarized state with a huge-ass army and he worked with what he had. He started expanding Prussia, starting with Austria, which he had old beef with. He wasn't out for world conquest, he struck swiftly and strategically to consolidate and strengthen his state.

Frederick, widely known as Frederick the Great, waged war against much bigger armies with great success and doubled Prussia's size in his reign. Which is why Hitler was obsessed with the guy smh. Would make more sense if he was into the Frederick Senior, with his militarism and his little hobby of inbreeding giants and all. He must have missed the part where he was tolerant, modest and also gay.

Frederick also had a younger brother, Prince Henry, who was also gay. He was an important general in the king's army, though their relationship was quite complicated. Henry married but like his brother, bore no children, ignored his wife and spent time with fine lads.

Look at this unapologetic legend!

When Frederick wasn't battling, he was doing lit stuff. He built a gorgeous palace in French fashion, full of Grecian sculptures and homoerotic paintings. He attracted the best intellectual minds of his time. Voltaire lived there for 3 years btw and he did not hold back to make many "wink wink" references to the king and his Grecian taste.

Speaking of which... One of his closest friends was Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf, an army private and a son of a peasant. Frederick met him as a prince and kept him by his side for the rest of his life, quite literally as he had an adjoined bedroom in his palace. He also made him a chancellor and gave him an estate, which really pissed off the elites.

Frederick is a complex character. Sure, he waged war and very successfully asserted himself as one of the top military leaders in history. But at the time Prussia was a scattered landlocked state, it couldn't just opt out of war so it's not like he could just go "peace out, bitches". But he did so much more. The guy actually believed that the king's duty was to be just and improve the lives of his people. He did some major reforms, improved education, supported art, and practiced religious tolerance, which was pretty woke at the time. He abolished torture and corporal punishment. He made governing more democratic by hiring people based on ability, not just status. Sadly, his cool legacy was utterly destroyed because the Nazi decided to appropriate him as their idol but lately it’s being reassessed. It’s hard to judge him considering how much he went through. But despite it all he became one of the best military commanders in history, one of the most woke and talented monarchs, and of course a legendary queer! 

Disclaimer: I know all of these people did some terrible shit, at least by modern standards, but I'm here to have fun so I'm not going to go there now. Sources: medium.com/@LukeBoneham/the-politics-of-desire-... thehistoryofparliament.wordpress.com/2019/02/21... www.ranker.com/list/life-of-philippe-dorleans/m... cour-de-france.fr/vie-quotidienne/sociabilite-e... aelarsen.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/versailles-th... thedrummersrevenge.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/ref... dirtysexyhistory.com/2017/09/03/a-secret-gay-br... unspeakablevice.tumblr.com/post/82525976110/lou... journals.openedition.org/crcv/14427#ftn161 Marie Antoinette's World: Intrigue, Infidelity, and Adultery in Versailles The Real Versailles - BBC Two

BBC Four - Frederick the Great and the Enigma of Prussia https://medium.com/war-is-boring/historys-greatest-gay-general-fd7d1d311464 https://www.queerportraits.com/bio/frederick https://www.spectator.com.au/2015/10/frederick-the-great-king-of-prussia-is-a-great-read/ http://gayinfluence.blogspot.com/2011/10/frederick-great-1712-1786.html https://www.history.com/news/true-story-queen-anne-sarah-abigail-the-favourite-fact-check

[artiegayberg]

Chevalier de Lorraine: exile

I’ve seen a post about this going around which i’m pretty sure was about the show Versailles rather than the Chevalier’s historical exile, and given that i made a super long response over there before realising that it wasn’t about history (sorry!) i figured i might as well move it into its own post and finish it off!

When?

The Chevalier was (as far as i’m aware) actually exiled twice - once properly in 1670 until 1672, and then in the 1680s (possibly 1680 or 1682?) he was sent into a kind of ‘soft exile’ - not a proper exile, but he was asked by the king not to appear too regularly in court (according to Sourches).

Why?

1670:  I’ve read varying opinions on this! Jonathan Spangler (society of princes) claims that it was due to “what the king perceived to be overarching and dangerous ambition” - this probably refers to the nature of the Chevalier’s relationship with Monsieur, but could also be referencing the power brokerage system he and his older brother ran at court. Louis was upset with the number of favours Monsieur asked on behalf of the Chevalier, and the amount of power the Chevalier held over Monsieur. One popular (and very definitely inaccurate) view is that he was exiled for his role in the death of Henriette, who he was said to have poisoned. This can’t possibly be true as he was exiled from Jan 30th 1670 to Feb 1672, and Henriette died in June 1670 (according to the official autopsy due to colic, with the organs showing signs of gangrene) Furthermore, this is from none other than the notoriously unreliable and anti-Lorraine Saint Simon, so even if it was viable its reliability should be treated with caution. That said, the whole drama over the death of Madame certainly made he situation no better, and it looked for a time like the Chevalier would be left in exile permanently. Both Henriette and her brother King Charles of England had their reasons for wanting to be rid of the Chevalier - Henriette took to blaming a disproportionate level of wrongdoings and inconveniences on the Chevalier, though it is certainly fair that she might have resented his closeness to Monsieur whilst her own relationship with her husband (after the first few months of their marriage) was less than perfect. Charles sympathised with his sister, and as she was likely a key source of information on the relationships between herself, Monsieur and the Chevalier as well as involving him through his emotional ties with his sister, he took up many of her opinions. He blamed the Chevalier for Monsieur’s mistreatment of Henriette, and also had a low opinion of Monsieur. Finally, it can’t be ignored that the Chevalier himself should take a bit of the blame! Especially where King Louis XIV was concerned - he mocked his tendency to become more pious over Easter, drunkenly claimed that he could have Monsieur and Minette divorce if he so wished, due to the number of affairs Henriette had, and also claimed that Monsieur never visited his wife’s bed unless the Chevalier granted him permission to do so (this was actually confirmed at court by Monsieur).

1680s(?): This was for his involvement in the explicitly anti-female elite homosexual club, more specifically because the King’s bastard son Louis de Bourbon, Comte de Vermandois, was involved in this society. Apparently he was deflowered by the Chevalier himself (the full story makes me laugh but is too long and irrelevant for this post). Vermandois was not very careful about keeping this society a secret, which ultimately led to Louis XIV finding out about it and exiling several members including his own son (who was sent to Normandy as a soldier at the intervention of Madame). I’m sure I’ve read somewhere that the Comte de Marsan and one of the sons of the Comte d’Armagnac were only saved from exile at the intervention of Armagnac, but I could be wrong on this. 

Where?

On the 30th January 1670, the Chevalier was taken to a prison in Pierre-Encise, close to Lyon. Following Monsieur’s retreat as far away from Paris as possible (to Villers-Cotterets), King Louis had the Chevalier moved to the Chateau D’If, widely-feared and one of the most notorious prisons in France. His cell was private, with a window and a fireplace, though the amount of comfort this could have offered to a man ripped from his comfortable life and trapped in a formidable offshore fortress with bare stone walls, in the middle of winter, is questionable. On the 24th of February, Monsieur returned to court, and the Chevalier was released to Rome for an unspecified length of time, where he arrived with his brother Charles (Marsan) after several weeks spent in Genoa. There had been plans to send him to fight the Barbary pirates and so fulfill his obligations to the Order of Malta, but the Chevalier’s older brother Louis (Armagnac) persuaded the king otherwise. Here the Chevalier would grow close to Marie Mancini. He intially planned on returning to France with her as the preparations for her escape from her husband were brought together, however to escape association with the plot and the risk of further punishment from Louis XIV he then changed his mind and remained in Italy for a while longer, travelling to Naples until he was permitted to return to court in February 1672.

[nanshe-of-nina]

Incorrect Crusades Quotes

Raimond IV de Tolosa: the fool tries to make one million dollars.... but the wise man knows that its much easier to make $0.000001 dollars one trillion times

Guglielmo Embriaco: Arrives 15 minutes late with siege towers.

Pope Urbanus II: UNITED NATIONS: ah!! please help us! we need just a normal man's opinion!! we got you a seat ME: How'm I to trust you, while God is bleeding

Étienne Henri, comte de Blois: Hell Yes;. the army is putting me and my guns on a plane back to iraq. Thius is like real life DLC

Matilde di Canossa: disappointed by lack of respect for the pope by the goofus brigade. i on the other hand respect the mans ass cheeks. i respect the mans legs

Alexios I Komnenos: I am Mediterranean Man! Hear my cry: TZATZIKIIIIIIiiiiiii and tremble with fear.TZATZIKIIIIIIiiiiiii and away!

Pierre l’Ermite: me and a bunch of stupid assholes are going to start a community in the middle of the desert to either die or prove a very important point.

Baudouin Ier de Jérusalem: im gay too and i love shit and im a nerd.

Bohémond de Hauteville: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree

Hugues Ier, comte de Vermandois: i may be a dim-witted narcissist but at least i hafve really good opinions about life and other things

Morphia of Melitene: I AM VERY BAD ARMENIAN LADY ! I AM SO BAD THAT EVEN DEVOL IS AFRAID OF ME ! I WILL TEAR ENYBODYS SPIRIT & GIVE IT TO HIM ; WHO PUT DISLIKE !

Hugues de Payens: girlsl... i shall virtuously employ the expansive breadth of my tech wisdom to protect you all from Daesh... even if you dont follow me...

Danishmend Gazi: prince hussein…wheres my goodboy bailout

Tancrède de Hauteville: my romantic girl friend sees the super blood moon reflected in my greased back hair and pledges then and there to bow to christ our master

Thomas de Marle, seigneur de Coucy: I wanna live inside a castle built of your agony. AND I WANT TO CRUMBLE IT WITH AN AXE TO YOUR CAROTID ARTERY!

Kilij Arslan I: @danishmend pass the savings onto me mother fucker

Al-Mustazhir: "buckwild" or "hogwild"?? im writing a poem for my gf

Anna Komnēnḗ: He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

Imad ad-Din Zengi: each 'Ridge' in your crinkle-cut potato chip costs 4 gallons of precious slave blood to create and adds a satisfying "Cruntch" to every bite

Thierry d'Alsace, comte de Flandre: this post is 2 years old. ive since lost custody of my children and my wife left me. still wild about candles

Anfós Jordan de Tolosa: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants

Enrico Dandolo: Everything happens for a reason, little one. And that reason is me.

Hodierne de Jérusalem: 12 year slave huh? sounds like my marriage. which I dont enjoy. to the degree that it is succinctly described by that particular movie title

Alix de Jérusalem: announcin,g in 2016 my new brand alliance with cool arab man

Sybille d’Anjou: im moving to israel, where the boys are nice, as soon as i get confirmation that they use the same kind of toilet paper that we use here

Raimon de Peitieus: im sorry to Wawa for attempting to behead myself in one of their restrooms. i promise to take the Wawa experience more seriously from now on

Andrónikos I: If a billion people have to be impaled to prove it, my worthiness as a Komnēnós will be DEMONSTRATED.

Louis VII de France: in another life... i would make U stay...

Renaud de Châtillon: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like "oh tortures bad","its ineffective" fuck off

Friedrich I, Holy Roman Emperor: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer

Imad ad-Din al-Isfahani: what happens when kirby swallows the qur'an and is granted its considerable power. my 81 chapter fanfic explores this issue -- and more

Heinrich der Löwe, Herzog von Sachsen: Wow, I do not care about that problem.

Henry II of England: i said im sorry. ive taken my lashes upon the cross. my brand is still good and anyone who cant see that is worthless

Agnès de Courtenay: looks like im forced to address false rumors that i own 3 dildos on a shelf labelled "breakfast" "lunch" & "dinner". this is an absurdity .

Amaury Ier de Jérusalem: MarioGodKenneth is stuck in prison again and ive received $0 in donations towards his bail.

Salah ad-Din: We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Allah Kedavra!”

Bertran de Bòrn: Im a monk in real life, the matrix is real and hummingbirds and other really fast animals are proof positive that bullet time eixists

Corrado del Monferrato: if a sniper shot me i would run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in melee fight

Guy de Lusignan: Our only hope now is that the enemy kills so many of us, they become slightly depressed.

Bonifacio del Monferrato: This is a Bulgar hunt, man! A Bulgar hunt! Game over, man! Game over!

Richard I of England: cant wait to get back to iraq and blast some ragheads-- itll be just like halo but with less lag #tcot #nowTHATSghetto #nowplaying #bun

Leopold V., Herzog von Österreich: (in really quiet, barely audible voice) hope your dick falls of bitch

Philippe II de France: wish Obama would authorize some drone strikes against my ex-wife!

Baudouin IX, comte de Flandre: "i wish they got, WiFi down here" - guy who died in the paris catacombs

Simon IV de Montfort: I love the smell of heretics in the morning. You know, one time we set an entire town on fire, for 12 hours. The smell, you know that burning flesh smell, the whole town. Smelled like victory.

Alexios IV Angelos: Local man ruins everything

Raimon-Rogièr, comte de Fois:  bigmouth fake priest telling me to "drink a shitload of holy water and kill yourself" as penance? this has happened at three churches now

Friedrich II, Holy Roman Emperor: I will tell you this right now: I’m from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally

Thibaut Ier de Navarre: i do enjoy spending my weekends "Joining the Army". oh how i hate when monday rolls around & i must say goodbye to all of my soldier friends

Shajar Al-Durr: i ruminate over a scrapbook full of middle finger pics to keep myself demure, respectful and humble. "i deserve these", i utter shitheadedly

Louis IX de France: the nile river is red with blood and your fucking birthday present won't cleanse it. perspective, you fucking rat

Robert Ier, comte de Artois: Leeeeeeeeeeeeeroy!

Charles Ier de Naples: welp, time to rescue egypt from muslims. asomebody please carry all 900 pounds of me to the site of the protests. wait nevermind im good

Beatritz de Provença: What is the point of being married to a prince if he can't wield unfettered power to crush my enemies!?

Baibars: my name is Destyn. i build crossbows and sell weed to all your dads and im 15

Edward I of England: i am going to plunge a sword into our bed and officially end outr 40 yr marriage if you do not stop yelling while i am recording my stream's

[mug-6093]

Louis, comte de Vermandois.

[best-bourbon-monarch]

(note: Louis de Bourbon fights against Marie-Antoinette because their categories have odd numbers of contestants. The rest of the Bourbon Royalties will arrive for their second round later on)

Louis:

Legitimated son of Louis XIV and the duchess of La Vallière, he dies pretty young, but also he is one of the people suspected of being the Iron Mask (le masque de fer).

Marie-Antoinette:

Ok i'm cheating a bit because Louis XVII wasn't crowned, didn't reign, and was never officially recognized a king of france... but if he did, and if they hadn't been in prison when his father was killed, then Marie-Antoinette would have been regent.

Dates indicated are dates of life.

[sporadiceagleheart]

Louis XIV, Vienna H. Dill, Louis XVII, Lois Janes, Sharon Lee Gallegos, Princess Sophie Hélène Béatrice of France, Louis Joseph, Dauphin of France, Louis XIII, Anne of Austria, Maria Theresa of Spain, Françoise d'Aubigné, Philippe I Duke of Orléans, Louis “Le Grand Dauphin” de France, Marie Anne de Bourbon, Marie Thérèse de France, Louis de Bourbon, Comte de Vermandois, Louise de La Vallière, Philippe Charles de France, Louis Auguste de Bourbon, Louis Cesar De Bourbon, Louise Françoise de Bourbon, Louise-Marie Anne “Tou Tou” de Bourbon, Françoise Marie de Bourbon, Louis Alexandre de Bourbon, Madame de Montespan, Philippe d'Orléans II, Alice Elizabeth Doherty, Infant Male Lent, Julia Pastrana, Josephine Myrtle Corbin, Ella 'the Camel Girl' Harper, Fanny Mills, Josephine Clofullia, Annie Kerr Aiken, Gracie Perry Watson, Inez Clarke Briggs, Annie Oakley, Zip the Pinhead, Mary Ann Bevan Nurse, Stephan Bibrowski, Guy Pierre de Fontgalland, Myra Maybelle Shirley Reed Starr, Sitting Bull Leader, Gail Davis, Clara Barton American nurse, Frank E. Butler, Wilma Jones Rat, Pal, Laika, Jimmy the Crow, Pocahontas, Powhatan, John Noyce Milner, John Rolfe, Elizabeth Rolfe Milner, Cleopatra Powhatan, Chief Opechancanough Mangopeesomon “Eagle Plume” Powhatan, Chief Weroance Nectowance Powhatan, Zeus, Olivia Twenty Dahl, Roald Dahl, Sofie Magdalene Dahl, Mary Magdalene, Mona Lisa, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Harald Dahl, Francis II Of France, Henri III of France, Terry, Matachanna Shawano “Cleopatra” Powhatan Cornstalk, Mary Elizabeth Hughes Davis, Annie Jones Elliot, Jenny Lind, Mercy Lavinia Warren Stratton, Minnie Warren,

[leroibourbon-blog]

The secret homosexual group members were - Monsieur (surprisingly yes he was there as well) , Chevalier de Lorraine, Chevalier’s brother Charles le comte de Marsan,  Armand the Comte de Guiche , Antoine Charles the brother of Amand and the Duke of Gramont, Louis Armand I, the Prince of Comti - Marie Anne de Bourbon’s husband , Louis de Bourbon comte de Vermandois and other noblemen. When Louis found out, Vermandois told his father Louis XIV the names of the members of the secret group and gave him information about the details of their activities. 

[leroibourbon-blog]

In the year 1667, Louise de la Vallière was pregnant with the fourth child and her first son who survived infancy, Louis de Bourbon. comte de Vermandois (the previous year, she had been pregnant with her first daughter, Marie Anne de Bourbon, Mademoiselle de Blois, later Princesse de conti and in 1665 she had been pregnant with Phillippe, who didn’t survive). Louise gave birth to 4 children, 2 of them died in infancy.  It was the year the War of Devolution started in order to give the Queen Maria Theresa the succession to the throne of Spain. The same year, Louis gave her the Duchess title. During her second pregnancy she followed a campaign life. Louis was constantly on the Battlefields and she lived with the fear that he might want to reward her for her services as his mistress.

[mug-6093]

I want more pictures of Louis de Vermandois

He makes me so hot, oh no!

[mariatheresaofspain]

Louis, count of Vermandois by Pierre Mignard. 1680. Oil on panel.